CWCki - User contributions [en]

Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1

2016-06-20T08:26:23Z

Thsprppr: Tidying up the description

[[Image:seduction.png|thumb|right|Chris, trying to seduce the already violated viewer into paying his bills.]]

'''Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 17 [[June 2016]].

The majority of the video, as suggested by the title, consists of Chris reading a chapter of a story, echoing his old [[Official Videobooks]] series for [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] (except he is [[Chris and his ego|far less enthusiastic]] reading a story that is not his own). The video is punctuated at the beginning and end by Chris yet again [[Chris and money|soliciting donations]]. Chris opens the video stating that his previous e-begging campaign in [[Donations Requested, Please.]] was successful, resulting in the Chandlers receiving a "generous amount". Given his [[Lie|past claims]] on things like [[PS4#Chris finally gets one|receiving a PS4 for his birthday]], coupled with the fact that no sane person would ''actually'' donate money to Chris, this claim is highly unlikely. Despite this, he then explains that he now needs more money to "help us eat better" and pay for an "electric bill" costing $200. At the end, Chris re-iterates this apparent need for donations with a painfully unsuccessful attempt at [[Chris and sex|sex appeal]], pushing his manboobs together to [[Tomgirl|simulate cleavage]] and speaking in what he believes is a seductive tone.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=shf37GUT9tU}}
| stardate =17 [[June 2016]]
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue shirt
| previous = [[Donations Required, Serious Please help]]
| next = [[Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 2]]
}}

==Description==
{{quotebox| The first part in a multipart series to read this story.

Also, Thank You to the number of people who have donated; my mother has her asthma medication. But we still need money for the electric company, as well as to eat.

Donations still requested.
Please send donations directly to me via PayPal to my email address: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Thank you.

If you don't know how, watch this video.
https://youtu.be/wPYVhPe_PTQ}}

==Transcript==

[PS4 intro plays]

Hello, this Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again. I would firstly thank everyone for their donations. We've received a generous amount in the- my mom chose the term red flag... of distress, but anyway, she got her medication got her medication for her asthma so that's good... Very good. And uh, with a little bit of that I had to pull her bank account out of the red because of couple of automatic drafts. Anyway, we're still going to need- we're still needing money to help us eat better for the rest of the month, but also our electric bill came and it's due immediately, rounding up to about $200. So anyway, that's the detail right there, so I'll put the information below this video to let you know how to directly donate to my PayPal.

Anyway, in the meantime, we're beginning- I'm beginning a new series of a recommended story called "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness." I have not read this thing, though I started to recently and it made my- but I, uh, checked with my friend who assures me that it all ends better- it all ends a lot better than it all sounds at first. So anyway, it'll be like a chapter per day, every other day or so, but anyway... Do this by mood, I mean, I might end up doing the darkness chapters as soon as tomorrow, but anyways we're doing this, um, we're going to start reading chapter one.

Alright so... "Chapter One - Laundry Day." [Chris begins reading] "Hmm... Let's see, do I have everything? Do I have everything?" an average sized man with pink hair said with a smile as he stood in the center of his bedroom wearing a light blue tuxedo, as well as a pair of pink and blue checkered pants. His bedroom consisted of a little board, then a simple wooden bed, and a wardrobe where he kept all of his clothes. His walls were decorated with posters of various cartoon characters that he enjoyed. If one looked behind what- the posters, one would would find that his walls were covered in red paint, closer analysis revealed that the red paint was actually dried blood. The man was looking down at a basket of laundry, all of the clothes within the basket appeared to be covered in blood or some other type of bodily fluid. The pink-haired man had killed six people within the previous seven days, and he always took his victim's clothes as a souvenir of his crime. "I think I have everything," the man grinned as he lifted the basket and carried it out of his room. He looked down down at his basket of clothes and hummed a little song as he remembered the previous owners of the clothes in his basket. [singing] "Everybody's got to die sometime," the man sang as he opened his front door and stepped outside. The heat from the warm afternoon sun greeted him as he walked towards his pink car. He never bothered locking his door when he left his home. Most people avoid entering his house because there was no reason to be in the house when he wasn't there. He didn't have anything worth stealing, as someone did steal his microwave or his gaming console, then he would most likely kill him or her. Hmm. Not that anyone knew that he would kill the criminals who stole from him. Everybody simply suspected that he would be very angry with anybody who stole from him. Nobody wanted to see what a man with pink hair who has wore a blue tuxedo and pink pants would do to a criminal. The man placed the basket of laundry in the back of his car and continued humming the song that was playing in head as he sat in the driver's seat of his car and started the engine. Once the car started, he drove out of his driveway. "I wonder if Edith will be happy to see me," the man mused to himself as he thought of the orange-and-white hamster who ran the laundromat where he went when he needed his clothes cleaned. The man had never purchased a washing machine, nor a dryer, or even a stove or a fridge. He had managed to live his life with little more than a bathtub, a sink, and a microwave. The to the laundromat was over quickly, and whilst the man found a parking space in front of the laundromat, he parked his car and stepped outside. Once he had removed the basket from his car and had begun to carry it towards the laundromat, he heard a very familiar voice, "Marco! Marco!" the voice cried out. The man smiled as the pigeon who had screamed the words landed on his shoulders and started nuzzling his neck. "I missed you too, darling," the man said to the female pigeon who had landed on his shoulder. He and the pigeon had been dating for around four months and they had already been talking about marriage. "Marco?" the pigeon asked as she gestured her foot towards basket full of bloody clothes. The man continued to smile as he pushed the door leading into the laundromat open with his foot. "Six people, my dear! I killed six this week! I haven't felt this motivated and happy in a long time!" The man said as he stepped toward the counter in the laundromat and placed the basket next to the golden bell on top of the counter. "I'm probably happy because you've disagreed (?) to have intercourse with me. Do you really think you're ready to have a child?" The man asked the pigeon on his shoulder who attempted to smile. "Marco!" The pigeon said excitedly as she began nodding her head furiously in response to his question. The man continued to smile as began to pet the little bird on his shoulder with his index finger while ringing the bell on the counter with his other hand. Bing bing! "Welcome to Edith's laundromat," a white hamster with orange spots said cheerfully as she leapt up from behind the counter with her eyes closed. "Hello, Edith. How was your week?" the man asked the hamster who opened her eyes and smiled at the man who visited her laundromat once a week for close to three years. The hamster knew that the man was a killer, but she enjoyed his company and his business. "I had a wonderful week, although I'm sure my week wasn't as exciting as your hunting expedition! How many animals did you kill this week?" Edis asked the man who smiled as he proudly began to put the laundry basket on the counter. "I killed six animals this week, and next week, I might kill six more."
Marco!" The pigeon sitting on the man's shoulder announced proudly as she started to nuzzle the man's cheek. Edith grinned as she began to walk towards the grey cash register on the counter. "It sounds like you've been very busy," the hamster said as she started to press some buttons on the cash register. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out his bright pink wallet. "I've been feeling a bit more motivated recently, and it's all because of this lovely lady right here," the man said with pride in his voice as he started to gently stroke the pigeon on his shoulder while placing his wallet on the counter. "I'm glad you're so motivated. It's good for business if my best customer's motivated to continue bringing me work," the hamster said as she finished pressing the correct sequence of buttons on the register. "Hmm... Those clothes will cost 120 dollars to clean, plus any applicable taxes," the hamster said with a chuckle as the man took out some bills from his wallet and placed them on the counter. "20$ per kill as always. Maybe I should stop killing for a while and save some money," the man said with a laugh that was returned by the hamster as she began counting his money and prepared to give him change from the cash register. "Perhaps, but then the only reason you would have to talk with me is karaoke night." "Marco!" the pigeon on the man’s shoulder yelled as the hamster chuckled in synchronization with the matter. It was amusing seeing the slight agitation of the pigeon. "I suppose game night is another reason he has to talk with me," the hamster said as she remembered the many times she had played video games with the man and his fiance. "So will I see you tonight at karaoke night?" the man asked the hamster who had started to move the clothes one at a time to the washing machine at the back of the laundromat. The hamster smiled as she carried a particularly bloody yellow shirt that had the smiling face of a cartoon pony on the front and the message claiming that the shirt's previous owner had survived cartoon con. "Of course!" the hamster said to the man who was already walking towards the door. The man and his fiance smiled and waved goodbye as they left the establishment, leaving the hamster all alone with the bloody clothes. "I wish I knew more serial killers. Three seems to be enough to keep me in business. If I knew a few more, I'd be rich!" the hamster chuckled to herself as she walked toward the counter to get another article of clothing to wash. "Some people ask me how I can walk the streets at night, knowing that there are damaged people out in the dark who would love to do terrible things to a cute little hamster like me. I tell them that those evil people are really nice when you get to know them," Edith mused to herself as she picked up a bloody pair of blue jeans and started carrying them towards the washing machine. "Nobody will hurt me. My friends won't let them. Friendship is a powerful thing that makes life worth living and a business profitable, especially my business." Edith continued talking to herself as she placed the jeans into the washing machine. She was taken out of her thoughts when she heard the door to her laundromat open. She immediately went towards the counter and leapt on top to greet her customer. "Welcome to Edith's laundromat!" "I read the sign," a man's voice spoke as she opened her eyes to see a fairly short man dressed in the red and blue uniform of the Abbeville police department. The man had black hair and a black mustache that Edith didn't like. The hamster had never enjoyed the company of people with mustaches. The hamster gulped nervously has her eyes wandered towards the basket of bloody clothes the counter. "I'm not going to arrest you, this is more of a personal visit. However, I imagine that more people are going to get suspicious if you continue leaving incriminating evidence like this in plain sight in a business open to the public," the man said with a dark chuckle where he was returned with a nervous chuckle from Edith. "Maybe I should be a little more careful," Edith said simply and the man chuckled a second time as he picked up a pair of bloody pink, frilly panties from the basket. "Or maybe you should simply learn to make friends with someone who can help you continue to run your business demands," he said as he placed the bloody panties into his back pocket. "Kevin won't like that," Edith whispered to herself as she thought of the man who had recently paid her to wash the clothes in the laundry basket. Kevin Wright was one of her best friends as well as one of her best customers. He had the weird fascination with the color pink, but if Edith discriminated against her customers for such a small issue, she'd likely be out of a job. "All I want to do is ask you a few questions about your previous customer. I don't want to know his name, I don't want to know where he lives, I just want to know if he's related to the latest crime I'm investigating," the man said, seemingly ignoring Edith's whisper. The man reached into his left pocket and to retrieve a handful of pictures of what appeared to be a crime scene in a teenage girl's bedroom. The bloody corpse of a teenage girl could be seen on the bed next to a light blue smiling teddy bear. Edith examined the photos for a few minutes while the man appeared to study the bloody clothes. His eyes wandered towards a second basket filled with clean clothes near the dryer in the back of the laundromat. He absent-mindedly began to wonder if Edith cleaned clothes for other killers. “He’s not involved with this murder,” Edith said after a few minutes, and the man smiled as he retrieved his photos and placed them back into his pocket. “Well how do you know?” the man asked, and Edith chuckled nervously. “I’ve been cleaning his clothes for two years. I know how he works,” Edith said to the man, who raised an eyebrow in response. “He kills couples, not single victims,” Edith explained to the man who smiled and reached into his pocket again. He also steals his victims clothes and brings them to me to wash. He’s very protective of his souvenirs.” “Resist the victim’s sister, they were allegedly involved in a romantic relationship at the time of the murder. They were sleeping in the same bed,” the man explained to the hamster as he showed her a photo from his pocket. The hamster shook her head without even glancing at the pink haired girl in the picture. “He would have killed them together, he wouldn’t let her sister live,” Edith said to the man, who continued to smile. “He was interrupted. The girl entered the room and allegedly scared him away,” the man explained to the hamster, who shook her head once more. “I know him better than anyone alongside from his girlfriend,” Edith said defiantly, “He did not kill that girl.” The man stared at her with an amused expression on his face. As they stared at each other, they heard the door leading to the laundromat open. As soon as they heard the sound of the door squeaking open, they turned their gaze to the person who dared to intrude on their conversation. “I was about to take a bath and Sabrina told me that a cop had decided to pay this place a visit,” Kevin Wright said from the entrance of the laundromat. The police officer smiled as he turned around so that his entire body was facing a man wearing a blue tuxedo and he held out his hand for the man to shake. “I’m very pleased to meet you,” the police officer said as his hand remained extended. “I’ve heard so much about you over the years.” After a few seconds of studying the man and his smiling face, Kevin help out his hand and shook the extended hand of the police officer. “My name’s Kevin, although I suspect you know that already. How may I help you?” Kevin asked the man who smiled cheerfully. “My name’s Michael. I’m not sure if you this, but have a few murders recently to have been credited to the so-called “couples killer,” Mike explained as Kevin’s face brightened as the man mentioned the nickname the media had given him. “Of course, I’ve killed six people in the past week and I’m probably going to kill more next week.” We’ve credited you with seven murders this week ,” Mike explained. Once he was finished speaking, he and Edith noticed that Kevin’s face had started to twitch. “That’s impossible,” Kevin started slightly, which was a habit he had developed when he was either deep in thought or nervous. “That’s an odd numbered… number of- I hate odd numbers. I only kill in pairs,” Kevin explained, he his voice rising in volume and pitch as the thought of being credited for a single murder instead of a pair flash into his mind. “That’s it,” Kevin said coldly to the man who placed his hand upon his shoulder. “Of course that’s it, killers have to stick together, don’t we?” MIke said to k- I read that wrong… Mike said to Kevin, who looked at him for a moment before grinning mischievously. “I’ve always wanted a friend on the police force,” Kevin said to the man, whose hand continue to remain on his shoulder. “Did you say that you’re a killer?” Edith made her presence known from the place where she was standing on the counter, which surprised the two men, who forgot she was in the room with them. “Of course. Summer killer, young lady. If I wasn’t, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” the man said simply as he started walking towards the door leading to the world outside of the business owned by the hamster. “Until we meet again,” Kevin said as he opened the door. “Do you like karaoke?” Kevin asked, and Mike nodded his head. “Perhaps next time we meet we could be- perhaps next time that we meet can be at the bar on the end of the street.

Alright, that’s the end of chapter one. Tune in next time for “Chapter Two: Karaoke Night” In the meantime, donations would still be very much appreciated, especially to help with the electric bill. You wouldn’t want me to be without electricity or Wi-Fi, would you? Hmm? Me and my mom, we got to keep our dogs fed here and everything. Alright, so tune in next time and I’ll read the next chapter. Have a good day. Thank you.

[Outro]

Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1

2016-06-18T08:23:04Z

Thsprppr: Minor spelling error

[[Image:seduction.png|thumb|right|Chris, trying to seduce the already violated viewer into paying his bills.]]

'''Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 17 [[June 2016]].

The majority of the video, as suggested by the title, consists of Chris reading a chapter of a story, echoing his old [[Official Videobooks]] series for [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] (except he is [[Chris and his ego|far less enthusiastic]] reading a story that is not his own). The video is punctuated at the beginning and end by Chris yet again [[Chris and money|soliciting donations]]. While Chris opens the video stating that his previous e-begging campaign in [[Donations Requested, Please.]] was successful, resulting in the Chandlers receiving a "generous amount", he then explains that he now needs more money for an "electric bill" allegedly costing $200. At the end, Chris re-iterates this apparent need for donations with a painfully unsuccessful attempt at [[Chris and sex|sex appeal]], pushing his manboobs together to [[Tomgirl|simulate female cleavage]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=shf37GUT9tU}}
| stardate =17 [[June 2016]]
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue shirt
| previous = [[Donations Required, Serious Please help]]
| next =
}}

==Description==
{{quotebox| The first part in a multipart series to read this story.

Also, Thank You to the number of people who have donated; my mother has her asthma medication. But we still need money for the electric company, as well as to eat.

Donations still requested.
Please send donations directly to me via PayPal to my email address: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Thank you.

If you don't know how, watch this video.
https://youtu.be/wPYVhPe_PTQ}}

==Transcript==

[PS4 intro plays]

Hello, this Christine Chandler coming to live from home once again. I would firstly thank everyone for their donations. We've received a generous amount in the- my mom chose the term red flag... of distress, but anyway, she got her medication got her medication for her asthma so that's good... Very good. And uh, with a little bit of that I had to pull her bank account out of the red because of couple of automatic drafts. Anyway, we're still going to need- we're still needing money to help us eat better for the rest of the month, but also our electric bill came and it's due immediately, rounding up to about $200. So anyway, that's the detail right there, so I'll put the information below this video to let you know how to directly donate to my PayPal.

Anyway, in the meantime, we're beginning- I'm beginning a new series of a recommended story called "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness." I have not read this thing, though I started to recently and it made my- but I, uh, checked with my friend who assures me that it all ends better- it all ends a lot better than it all sounds at first. So anyway, it'll be like a chapter per day, every other day or so, but anyway... Do this by mood, I mean, I might end up doing the darkness chapters as soon as tomorrow, but anyways we're doing this, um, we're going to start reading chapter one.

Alright so... "Chapter One - Laundry Day." [Chris begins reading] "Hmm... Let's see, do I have everything? Do I have everything?" an average sized man with pink hair said with a smile as he stood in the center of his bedroom wearing a light blue tuxedo, as well as a pair of pink and blue checkered pants. His bedroom consisted of a little board, then a simple wooden bed, and a wardrobe where he kept all of his clothes. His walls were decorated with posters of various cartoon characters that he enjoyed. If one looked behind what- the posters, one would would find that his walls were covered in red paint, closer analysis revealed that the red paint was actually dried blood. The man was looking down at a basket of laundry, all of the clothes within the basket appeared to be covered in blood or some other type of bodily fluid. The pink-haired man had killed six people within the previous seven days, and he always took his victim's clothes as a souvenir of his crime. "I think I have everything," the man grinned as he lifted the basket and carried it out of his room. He looked down down at his basket of clothes and hummed a little song as he remembered the previous owners of the clothes in his basket. [singing] "Everybody's got to die sometime," the man sang as he opened his front door and stepped outside. The heat from the warm afternoon sun greeted him as he walked towards his pink car. He never bothered locking his door when he left his home. Most people avoid entering his house because there was no reason to be in the house when he wasn't there. He didn't have anything worth stealing, as someone did steal his microwave or his gaming console, then he would most likely kill him or her. Hmm. Not that anyone knew that he would kill the criminals who stole from him. Everybody simply suspected that he would be very angry with anybody who stole from him. Nobody wanted to see what a man with pink hair who has wore a blue tuxedo and pink pants would do to a criminal. The man placed the basket of laundry in the back of his car and continued humming the song that was playing in head as he sat in the driver's seat of his car and started the engine. Once the car started, he drove out of his driveway. "I wonder if Edith will be happy to see me," the man mused to himself as he thought of the orange-and-white hamster who ran the laundromat where he went when he needed his clothes cleaned. The man had never purchased a washing machine, nor a dryer, or even a stove or a fridge. He had managed to live his life with little more than a bathtub, a sink, and a microwave. The to the laundromat was over quickly, and whilst the man found a parking space in front of the laundromat, he parked his car and stepped outside. Once he had removed the basket from his car and had begun to carry it towards the laundromat, he heard a very familiar voice, "Marco! Marco!" the voice cried out. The man smiled as the pigeon who had screamed the words landed on his shoulders and started nuzzling his neck. "I missed you too, darling," the man said to the female pigeon who had landed on his shoulder. He and the pigeon had been dating for around four months and they had already been talking about marriage. "Marco?" the pigeon asked as she gestured her foot towards basket full of bloody clothes. The man continued to smile as he pushed the door leading into the laundromat open with his foot. "Six people, my dear! I killed six this week! I haven't felt this motivated and happy in a long time!" The man said as he stepped toward the counter in the laundromat and placed the basket next to the golden bell on top of the counter. "I'm probably happy because you've disagreed (?) to have intercourse with me. Do you really think you're ready to have a child?" The man asked the pigeon on his shoulder who attempted to smile. "Marco!" The pigeon said excitedly as she began nodding her head furiously in response to his question. The man continued to smile as began to pet the little bird on his shoulder with his index finger while ringing the bell on the counter with his other hand. Bing bing! "Welcome to Edith's laundromat," a white hamster with orange spots said cheerfully as she leapt up from behind the counter with her eyes closed. "Hello, Edith. How was your week?" the man asked the hamster who opened her eyes and smiled at the man who visited her laundromat once a week for close to three years. The hamster knew that the man was a killer, but she enjoyed his company and his business. "I had a wonderful week, although I'm sure my week wasn't as exciting as your hunting expedition! How many animals did you kill this week?" Edis asked the man who smiled as he proudly began to put the laundry basket on the counter. "I killed six animals this week, and next week, I might kill six more."
Marco!" The pigeon sitting on the man's shoulder announced proudly as she started to nuzzle the man's cheek. Edith grinned as she began to walk towards the grey cash register on the counter. "It sounds like you've been very busy," the hamster said as she started to press some buttons on the cash register. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out his bright pink wallet. "I've been feeling a bit more motivated recently, and it's all because of this lovely lady right here," the man said with pride in his voice as he started to gently stroke the pigeon on his shoulder while placing his wallet on the counter. "I'm glad you're so motivated. It's good for business if my best customer's motivated to continue bringing me work," the hamster said as she finished pressing the correct sequence of buttons on the register. "Hmm... Those clothes will cost 120 dollars to clean, plus any applicable taxes," the hamster said with a chuckle as the man took out some bills from his wallet and placed them on the counter. "20$ per kill as always. Maybe I should stop killing for a while and save some money," the man said with a laugh that was returned by the hamster as she began counting his money and prepared to give him change from the cash register. "Perhaps, but then the only reason you would have to talk with me is karaoke night." "Marco!" the pigeon on the man’s shoulder yelled as the hamster chuckled in synchronization with the matter. It was amusing seeing the slight agitation of the pigeon. "I suppose game night is another reason he has to talk with me," the hamster said as she remembered the many times she had played video games with the man and his fiance. "So will I see you tonight at karaoke night?" the man asked the hamster who had started to move the clothes one at a time to the washing machine at the back of the laundromat. The hamster smiled as she carried a particularly bloody yellow shirt that had the smiling face of a cartoon pony on the front and the message claiming that the shirt's previous owner had survived cartoon con. "Of course!" the hamster said to the man who was already walking towards the door. The man and his fiance smiled and waved goodbye as they left the establishment, leaving the hamster all alone with the bloody clothes. "I wish I knew more serial killers. Three seems to be enough to keep me in business. If I knew a few more, I'd be rich!" the hamster chuckled to herself as she walked toward the counter to get another article of clothing to wash. "Some people ask me how I can walk the streets at night, knowing that there are damaged people out in the dark who would love to do terrible things to a cute little hamster like me. I tell them that those evil people are really nice when you get to know them," Edith mused to herself as she picked up a bloody pair of blue jeans and started carrying them towards the washing machine. "Nobody will hurt me. My friends won't let them. Friendship is a powerful thing that makes life worth living and a business profitable, especially my business." Edith continued talking to herself as she placed the jeans into the washing machine. She was taken out of her thoughts when she heard the door to her laundromat open. She immediately went towards the counter and leapt on top to greet her customer. "Welcome to Edith's laundromat!" "I read the sign," a man's voice spoke as she opened her eyes to see a fairly short man dressed in the red and blue uniform of the Abbeville police department. The man had black hair and a black mustache that Edith didn't like. The hamster had never enjoyed the company of people with mustaches. The hamster gulped nervously has her eyes wandered towards the basket of bloody clothes the counter. "I'm not going to arrest you, this is more of a personal visit. However, I imagine that more people are going to get suspicious if you continue leaving incriminating evidence like this in plain sight in a business open to the public," the man said with a dark chuckle where he was returned with a nervous chuckle from Edith. "Maybe I should be a little more careful," Edith said simply and the man chuckled a second time as he picked up a pair of bloody pink, frilly panties from the basket. "Or maybe you should simply learn to make friends with someone who can help you continue to run your business demands," he said as he placed the bloody panties into his back pocket. "Kevin won't like that," Edith whispered to herself as she thought of the man who had recently paid her to wash the clothes in the laundry basket. Kevin Wright was one of her best friends as well as one of her best customers. He had the weird fascination with the color pink, but if Edith discriminated against her customers for such a small issue, she'd likely be out of a job. "All I want to do is ask you a few questions about your previous customer. I don't want to know his name, I don't want to know where he lives, I just want to know if he's related to the latest crime I'm investigating," the man said, seemingly ignoring Edith's whisper. The man reached into his left pocket and to retrieve a handful of pictures of what appeared to be a crime scene in a teenage girl's bedroom. The bloody corpse of a teenage girl could be seen on the bed next to a light blue smiling teddy bear. Edith examined the photos for a few minutes while the man appeared to study the bloody clothes. His eyes wandered towards a second basket filled with clean clothes near the dryer in the back of the laundromat. He absent-mindedly began to wonder if Edith cleaned clothes for other killers. “He’s not involved with this murder,” Edith said after a few minutes, and the man smiled as he retrieved his photos and placed them back into his pocket. “Well how do you know?” the man asked, and Edith chuckled nervously. “I’ve been cleaning his clothes for two years. I know how he works,” Edith said to the man, who raised an eyebrow in response. “He kills couples, not single victims,” Edith explained to the man who smiled and reached into his pocket again. He also steals his victims clothes and brings them to me to wash. He’s very protective of his souvenirs.” “Resist the victim’s sister, they were allegedly involved in a romantic relationship at the time of the murder. They were sleeping in the same bed,” the man explained to the hamster as he showed her a photo from his pocket. The hamster shook her head without even glancing at the pink haired girl in the picture. “He would have killed them together, he wouldn’t let her sister live,” Edith said to the man, who continued to smile. “He was interrupted. The girl entered the room and allegedly scared him away,” the man explained to the hamster, who shook her head once more. “I know him better than anyone alongside from his girlfriend,” Edith said defiantly, “He did not kill that girl.” The man stared at her with an amused expression on his face. As they stared at each other, they heard the door leading to the laundromat open. As soon as they heard the sound of the door squeaking open, they turned their gaze to the person who dared to intrude on their conversation. “I was about to take a bath and Sabrina told me that a cop had decided to pay this place a visit,” Kevin Wright said from the entrance of the laundromat. The police officer smiled as he turned around so that his entire body was facing a man wearing a blue tuxedo and he held out his hand for the man to shake. “I’m very pleased to meet you,” the police officer said as his hand remained extended. “I’ve heard so much about you over the years.” After a few seconds of studying the man and his smiling face, Kevin help out his hand and shook the extended hand of the police officer. “My name’s Kevin, although I suspect you know that already. How may I help you?” Kevin asked the man who smiled cheerfully. “My name’s Michael. I’m not sure if you this, but have a few murders recently to have been credited to the so-called “couples killer,” Mike explained as Kevin’s face brightened as the man mentioned the nickname the media had given him. “Of course, I’ve killed six people in the past week and I’m probably going to kill more next week.” We’ve credited you with seven murders this week ,” Mike explained. Once he was finished speaking, he and Edith noticed that Kevin’s face had started to twitch. “That’s impossible,” Kevin started slightly, which was a habit he had developed when he was either deep in thought or nervous. “That’s an odd numbered… number of- I hate odd numbers. I only kill in pairs,” Kevin explained, he his voice rising in volume and pitch as the thought of being credited for a single murder instead of a pair flash into his mind. “That’s it,” Kevin said coldly to the man who placed his hand upon his shoulder. “Of course that’s it, killers have to stick together, don’t we?” MIke said to k- I read that wrong… Mike said to Kevin, who looked at him for a moment before grinning mischievously. “I’ve always wanted a friend on the police force,” Kevin said to the man, whose hand continue to remain on his shoulder. “Did you say that you’re a killer?” Edith made her presence known from the place where she was standing on the counter, which surprised the two men, who forgot she was in the room with them. “Of course. Summer killer, young lady. If I wasn’t, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” the man said simply as he started walking towards the door leading to the world outside of the business owned by the hamster. “Until we meet again,” Kevin said as he opened the door. “Do you like karaoke?” Kevin asked, and Mike nodded his head. “Perhaps next time we meet we could be- perhaps next time that we meet can be at the bar on the end of the street.

Alright, that’s the end of chapter one. Tune in next time for “Chapter Two: Karaoke Night” In the meantime, donations would still be very much appreciated, especially to help with the electric bill. You wouldn’t want me to be without electricity or Wi-Fi, would you? Hmm? Me and my mom, we got to keep our dogs fed here and everything. Alright, so tune in next time and I’ll read the next chapter. Have a good day. Thank you.

[Outro]

Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1

2016-06-18T08:19:53Z

Thsprppr: Rewrote description, very minor revision of transcript

[[Image:seduction.png|thumb|right|Chris, trying to seduce the already violated viewer into paying his bills.]]

'''Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 17 [[June 2016]].

The majority of the video, as suggested by the title, consists of Chris reading a chapter of a story, echoing his old [[Official Videobooks]] series for [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] (except he is [[Chris and his ego|far less enthusiastic]] reading a story that is not his own). The video is punctuated at the beginning and end by Chris yet again [[Chris and money|solicitating donations]]. While Chris opens the video stating that his previous e-begging campaign in [[Donations Requested, Please.]] was successful, resulting in the Chandlers receiving a "generous amount", he then explains that he now needs more money for an "electric bill" allegedly costing $200. At the end, Chris re-iterates this apparent need for donations with a painfully unsuccessful attempt at [[Chris and sex|sex appeal]], pushing his manboobs together to [[Tomgirl|simulate female cleavage]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v=shf37GUT9tU}}
| stardate =17 [[June 2016]]
| Saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue shirt
| previous = [[Donations Required, Serious Please help]]
| next =
}}

==Description==
{{quotebox| The first part in a multipart series to read this story.

Also, Thank You to the number of people who have donated; my mother has her asthma medication. But we still need money for the electric company, as well as to eat.

Donations still requested.
Please send donations directly to me via PayPal to my email address: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Thank you.

If you don't know how, watch this video.
https://youtu.be/wPYVhPe_PTQ}}

==Transcript==

[PS4 intro plays]

Hello, this Christine Chandler coming to live from home once again. I would firstly thank everyone for their donations. We've received a generous amount in the- my mom chose the term red flag... of distress, but anyway, she got her medication got her medication for her asthma so that's good... Very good. And uh, with a little bit of that I had to pull her bank account out of the red because of couple of automatic drafts. Anyway, we're still going to need- we're still needing money to help us eat better for the rest of the month, but also our electric bill came and it's due immediately, rounding up to about $200. So anyway, that's the detail right there, so I'll put the information below this video to let you know how to directly donate to my PayPal.

Anyway, in the meantime, we're beginning- I'm beginning a new series of a recommended story called "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness." I have not read this thing, though I started to recently and it made my- but I, uh, checked with my friend who assures me that it all ends better- it all ends a lot better than it all sounds at first. So anyway, it'll be like a chapter per day, every other day or so, but anyway... Do this by mood, I mean, I might end up doing the darkness chapters as soon as tomorrow, but anyways we're doing this, um, we're going to start reading chapter one.

Alright so... "Chapter One - Laundry Day." [Chris begins reading] "Hmm... Let's see, do I have everything? Do I have everything?" an average sized man with pink hair said with a smile as he stood in the center of his bedroom wearing a light blue tuxedo, as well as a pair of pink and blue checkered pants. His bedroom consisted of a little board, then a simple wooden bed, and a wardrobe where he kept all of his clothes. His walls were decorated with posters of various cartoon characters that he enjoyed. If one looked behind what- the posters, one would would find that his walls were covered in red paint, closer analysis revealed that the red paint was actually dried blood. The man was looking down at a basket of laundry, all of the clothes within the basket appeared to be covered in blood or some other type of bodily fluid. The pink-haired man had killed six people within the previous seven days, and he always took his victim's clothes as a souvenir of his crime. "I think I have everything," the man grinned as he lifted the basket and carried it out of his room. He looked down down at his basket of clothes and hummed a little song as he remembered the previous owners of the clothes in his basket. [singing] "Everybody's got to die sometime," the man sang as he opened his front door and stepped outside. The heat from the warm afternoon sun greeted him as he walked towards his pink car. He never bothered locking his door when he left his home. Most people avoid entering his house because there was no reason to be in the house when he wasn't there. He didn't have anything worth stealing, as someone did steal his microwave or his gaming console, then he would most likely kill him or her. Hmm. Not that anyone knew that he would kill the criminals who stole from him. Everybody simply suspected that he would be very angry with anybody who stole from him. Nobody wanted to see what a man with pink hair who has wore a blue tuxedo and pink pants would do to a criminal. The man placed the basket of laundry in the back of his car and continued humming the song that was playing in head as he sat in the driver's seat of his car and started the engine. Once the car started, he drove out of his driveway. "I wonder if Edith will be happy to see me," the man mused to himself as he thought of the orange-and-white hamster who ran the laundromat where he went when he needed his clothes cleaned. The man had never purchased a washing machine, nor a dryer, or even a stove or a fridge. He had managed to live his life with little more than a bathtub, a sink, and a microwave. The to the laundromat was over quickly, and whilst the man found a parking space in front of the laundromat, he parked his car and stepped outside. Once he had removed the basket from his car and had begun to carry it towards the laundromat, he heard a very familiar voice, "Marco! Marco!" the voice cried out. The man smiled as the pigeon who had screamed the words landed on his shoulders and started nuzzling his neck. "I missed you too, darling," the man said to the female pigeon who had landed on his shoulder. He and the pigeon had been dating for around four months and they had already been talking about marriage. "Marco?" the pigeon asked as she gestured her foot towards basket full of bloody clothes. The man continued to smile as he pushed the door leading into the laundromat open with his foot. "Six people, my dear! I killed six this week! I haven't felt this motivated and happy in a long time!" The man said as he stepped toward the counter in the laundromat and placed the basket next to the golden bell on top of the counter. "I'm probably happy because you've disagreed (?) to have intercourse with me. Do you really think you're ready to have a child?" The man asked the pigeon on his shoulder who attempted to smile. "Marco!" The pigeon said excitedly as she began nodding her head furiously in response to his question. The man continued to smile as began to pet the little bird on his shoulder with his index finger while ringing the bell on the counter with his other hand. Bing bing! "Welcome to Edith's laundromat," a white hamster with orange spots said cheerfully as she leapt up from behind the counter with her eyes closed. "Hello, Edith. How was your week?" the man asked the hamster who opened her eyes and smiled at the man who visited her laundromat once a week for close to three years. The hamster knew that the man was a killer, but she enjoyed his company and his business. "I had a wonderful week, although I'm sure my week wasn't as exciting as your hunting expedition! How many animals did you kill this week?" Edis asked the man who smiled as he proudly began to put the laundry basket on the counter. "I killed six animals this week, and next week, I might kill six more."
Marco!" The pigeon sitting on the man's shoulder announced proudly as she started to nuzzle the man's cheek. Edith grinned as she began to walk towards the grey cash register on the counter. "It sounds like you've been very busy," the hamster said as she started to press some buttons on the cash register. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out his bright pink wallet. "I've been feeling a bit more motivated recently, and it's all because of this lovely lady right here," the man said with pride in his voice as he started to gently stroke the pigeon on his shoulder while placing his wallet on the counter. "I'm glad you're so motivated. It's good for business if my best customer's motivated to continue bringing me work," the hamster said as she finished pressing the correct sequence of buttons on the register. "Hmm... Those clothes will cost 120 dollars to clean, plus any applicable taxes," the hamster said with a chuckle as the man took out some bills from his wallet and placed them on the counter. "20$ per kill as always. Maybe I should stop killing for a while and save some money," the man said with a laugh that was returned by the hamster as she began counting his money and prepared to give him change from the cash register. "Perhaps, but then the only reason you would have to talk with me is karaoke night." "Marco!" the pigeon on the man’s shoulder yelled as the hamster chuckled in synchronization with the matter. It was amusing seeing the slight agitation of the pigeon. "I suppose game night is another reason he has to talk with me," the hamster said as she remembered the many times she had played video games with the man and his fiance. "So will I see you tonight at karaoke night?" the man asked the hamster who had started to move the clothes one at a time to the washing machine at the back of the laundromat. The hamster smiled as she carried a particularly bloody yellow shirt that had the smiling face of a cartoon pony on the front and the message claiming that the shirt's previous owner had survived cartoon con. "Of course!" the hamster said to the man who was already walking towards the door. The man and his fiance smiled and waved goodbye as they left the establishment, leaving the hamster all alone with the bloody clothes. "I wish I knew more serial killers. Three seems to be enough to keep me in business. If I knew a few more, I'd be rich!" the hamster chuckled to herself as she walked toward the counter to get another article of clothing to wash. "Some people ask me how I can walk the streets at night, knowing that there are damaged people out in the dark who would love to do terrible things to a cute little hamster like me. I tell them that those evil people are really nice when you get to know them," Edith mused to herself as she picked up a bloody pair of blue jeans and started carrying them towards the washing machine. "Nobody will hurt me. My friends won't let them. Friendship is a powerful thing that makes life worth living and a business profitable, especially my business." Edith continued talking to herself as she placed the jeans into the washing machine. She was taken out of her thoughts when she heard the door to her laundromat open. She immediately went towards the counter and leapt on top to greet her customer. "Welcome to Edith's laundromat!" "I read the sign," a man's voice spoke as she opened her eyes to see a fairly short man dressed in the red and blue uniform of the Abbeville police department. The man had black hair and a black mustache that Edith didn't like. The hamster had never enjoyed the company of people with mustaches. The hamster gulped nervously has her eyes wandered towards the basket of bloody clothes the counter. "I'm not going to arrest you, this is more of a personal visit. However, I imagine that more people are going to get suspicious if you continue leaving incriminating evidence like this in plain sight in a business open to the public," the man said with a dark chuckle where he was returned with a nervous chuckle from Edith. "Maybe I should be a little more careful," Edith said simply and the man chuckled a second time as he picked up a pair of bloody pink, frilly panties from the basket. "Or maybe you should simply learn to make friends with someone who can help you continue to run your business demands," he said as he placed the bloody panties into his back pocket. "Kevin won't like that," Edith whispered to herself as she thought of the man who had recently paid her to wash the clothes in the laundry basket. Kevin Wright was one of her best friends as well as one of her best customers. He had the weird fascination with the color pink, but if Edith discriminated against her customers for such a small issue, she'd likely be out of a job. "All I want to do is ask you a few questions about your previous customer. I don't want to know his name, I don't want to know where he lives, I just want to know if he's related to the latest crime I'm investigating," the man said, seemingly ignoring Edith's whisper. The man reached into his left pocket and to retrieve a handful of pictures of what appeared to be a crime scene in a teenage girl's bedroom. The bloody corpse of a teenage girl could be seen on the bed next to a light blue smiling teddy bear. Edith examined the photos for a few minutes while the man appeared to study the bloody clothes. His eyes wandered towards a second basket filled with clean clothes near the dryer in the back of the laundromat. He absent-mindedly began to wonder if Edith cleaned clothes for other killers. “He’s not involved with this murder,” Edith said after a few minutes, and the man smiled as he retrieved his photos and placed them back into his pocket. “Well how do you know?” the man asked, and Edith chuckled nervously. “I’ve been cleaning his clothes for two years. I know how he works,” Edith said to the man, who raised an eyebrow in response. “He kills couples, not single victims,” Edith explained to the man who smiled and reached into his pocket again. He also steals his victims clothes and brings them to me to wash. He’s very protective of his souvenirs.” “Resist the victim’s sister, they were allegedly involved in a romantic relationship at the time of the murder. They were sleeping in the same bed,” the man explained to the hamster as he showed her a photo from his pocket. The hamster shook her head without even glancing at the pink haired girl in the picture. “He would have killed them together, he wouldn’t let her sister live,” Edith said to the man, who continued to smile. “He was interrupted. The girl entered the room and allegedly scared him away,” the man explained to the hamster, who shook her head once more. “I know him better than anyone alongside from his girlfriend,” Edith said defiantly, “He did not kill that girl.” The man stared at her with an amused expression on his face. As they stared at each other, they heard the door leading to the laundromat open. As soon as they heard the sound of the door squeaking open, they turned their gaze to the person who dared to intrude on their conversation. “I was about to take a bath and Sabrina told me that a cop had decided to pay this place a visit,” Kevin Wright said from the entrance of the laundromat. The police officer smiled as he turned around so that his entire body was facing a man wearing a blue tuxedo and he held out his hand for the man to shake. “I’m very pleased to meet you,” the police officer said as his hand remained extended. “I’ve heard so much about you over the years.” After a few seconds of studying the man and his smiling face, Kevin help out his hand and shook the extended hand of the police officer. “My name’s Kevin, although I suspect you know that already. How may I help you?” Kevin asked the man who smiled cheerfully. “My name’s Michael. I’m not sure if you this, but have a few murders recently to have been credited to the so-called “couples killer,” Mike explained as Kevin’s face brightened as the man mentioned the nickname the media had given him. “Of course, I’ve killed six people in the past week and I’m probably going to kill more next week.” We’ve credited you with seven murders this week ,” Mike explained. Once he was finished speaking, he and Edith noticed that Kevin’s face had started to twitch. “That’s impossible,” Kevin started slightly, which was a habit he had developed when he was either deep in thought or nervous. “That’s an odd numbered… number of- I hate odd numbers. I only kill in pairs,” Kevin explained, he his voice rising in volume and pitch as the thought of being credited for a single murder instead of a pair flash into his mind. “That’s it,” Kevin said coldly to the man who placed his hand upon his shoulder. “Of course that’s it, killers have to stick together, don’t we?” MIke said to k- I read that wrong… Mike said to Kevin, who looked at him for a moment before grinning mischievously. “I’ve always wanted a friend on the police force,” Kevin said to the man, whose hand continue to remain on his shoulder. “Did you say that you’re a killer?” Edith made her presence known from the place where she was standing on the counter, which surprised the two men, who forgot she was in the room with them. “Of course. Summer killer, young lady. If I wasn’t, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” the man said simply as he started walking towards the door leading to the world outside of the business owned by the hamster. “Until we meet again,” Kevin said as he opened the door. “Do you like karaoke?” Kevin asked, and Mike nodded his head. “Perhaps next time we meet we could be- perhaps next time that we meet can be at the bar on the end of the street.

Alright, that’s the end of chapter one. Tune in next time for “Chapter Two: Karaoke Night” In the meantime, donations would still be very much appreciated, especially to help with the electric bill. You wouldn’t want me to be without electricity or Wi-Fi, would you? Hmm? Me and my mom, we got to keep our dogs fed here and everything. Alright, so tune in next time and I’ll read the next chapter. Have a good day. Thank you.

[Outro]

Happy Pokémon Day.

2016-02-29T23:31:03Z

Thsprppr: Added video summary

"'''Happy Pokémon Day.'''" was a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 28 [[February 2016]] acknowledging the 20th anniversary of the [[Pokémon]] video game series. Chris immediately uses it as an opportunity to once again dispel claims that his beloved [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] franchise was [[Chris and copyright|plagiarized]] from it. He then references a Pokémon parody from [[South Park]] and repackages it to promote his own figurines, supposedly for the sake of [[Random Access Humor|humor]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Pokémon Day.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|k-2GKzWrd_8}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
[''Chris sits at his desk with all his custom [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]] arranged in a row in front of him'']

Hello everybody, and uh, welcome to a... fun—t-tah—fun special... announcement or update from [[YouTube#CwcvilleGuardian_.28February_2012_-_present.29|CwcvilleGuardian]] channel, as well as [[Etsy|Cwcville Shopping]]. I know it's a day late... and quote, "a dollar short", but... Happy Pokémon Day! It was yesterday on February 27th! National Pokémon Day, apparently... or so it's called. As it came out to be in, uh... Japan and Ame—Japan, at least. Anyway, to—anyway, because it [[Chris and copyright|inspired]] Sonichu and Rosechu, we are definitely honoring that little bit. I mean, in four years time, it ''will'' be Sonichu's... 20th anniversary... pretty much, as well. As everybody would... as, uh, those who actually know that... well enough to be.

[''Chris's throat makes a sound'']

Yes, and uh... regardless of, uh, Sonic being a combination—Sonic and Pikachu on that not—on the originality, but it's ''INSPIRED'' by, not copying, INSPIRED. 'Cause, you know, the, uh... aside from the origin story of which... is still going on strong and undisputed... and whatnot and everything... we have our own complete different stories between [[Chris and English|either which]]. I mean Sonichu and Rosechu, they actually end up getting married and having children! And they still protect the city of Cwcville, Virginia, from the forces of evil! Who want to make [[Love Quest|true love]] and [[Heartsweet|sweet emotions]] [[Chris and the law|illegal]], so that everybody would be unhappy. That's... yeah.

[''Chris starts to lower his voice''] That was me[?], I've gotten impressions that it might be [[Virginia is for Virgins|illegal in Virginia]] for one person at least throughout my life, that's what's inspired the story. And possibly a little bit of [[Chris and anger|sour mood]] and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attitude]], but... that's a whole different... territory.

''Ennnnywho''! So yeah, dere—in the wild, there ar—in the wild, since the rai—since the faithful [[rainbow]] [''Chris picks up Sonee and Rosey Amiibos for demonstration''], there have been [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys...]] coming up! And versus, uh, what came out-out to be from the rai—from the faithful rainbow in and around the city of Cwcville, in the wild you will only see wild Sonichus and Rosechus, the main ones. 'Cause that's what they typically would evolve to normally [''Chris accidentally taps something on his PS Vita''], as well as, uh... [''Chris turns to his PS Vita to undo his last tap''] As well as some [[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. It would take a skilful... trainer to figure out... which specific type of stones or circumstances... would... make them into amongst the other characters in the... set—in the set, as well.

But anyway, yes, so... happiest 20th ''[[Speech impediment|annisrrsry]]'' to creators of Pokémon, 'cause without y'all, I may not have something to have been the original cr—been, uh, original creator of from the ''INSPIRED'' [''picks up untouched Sonic Amiibo''] elements. But still different stories altogether among which, and more characters out of all of that, and famous for... nearly the twenty years! So... yeah, nearly sixteen years now, so... among which.

But I mean yeah, so [''Chris picks up the [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]] and Sonichu figurines''] ''boop''! The Pokéball! [''Chris mashes the two figurines into each other''] Into a Sonichu Ball! [''Chris opens the Sonichu Ball, there is crumpled paper inside''] Whoops, forgot to empty this one... [''Chris starts removing paper''] Anyway... [''Chris attempts to turn it into comedy''] Anybody want some receipts?! From... past transactions and whatever? I forgot to take these out. [''places paper to the side off-camera''] So... oh well! Who hasn't had a fail?

[''starts over''] Anyway... [''bashes two figurines together again, this time placing the Sonichu inside the Sonichu Ball''] Sonichu in the Sonichu Ball! But unfortunately it will not close, because it's too big. Oh well, it's fun to pretend anyway! Yep! [makes Pokéball sounds and takes Sonichu out of ball] Display purposes! [[Random Access Humor|Have no fun]], whatnot...

Just like South Park did, and that's pretty much one of my favourites parodies of Pokémon, the [[wikipedia:Chinpokomon|Chinpokomon]]! Chinpokomon... Yes, and I do realize that the definition... the English translation from ''"chinpoko"''... so—I've heard the commentary for that episode of South Park on DVD, so... make all the jokes th—as you want, as long as it—as long as you make it only apply to those who actually have... well, that are actually [''[Pickle|born male]'']. Versus, who are actually born fe''maaaaaale''... No ''jokes''!

'Cause [[Tomgirl|we women]] take offense to that very much! Humph!

But anyway, [''silly voice''] Chinpokomon! You can buy them all—you can collect them all... [''reaches for PS3 game''] in [[wikipedia:South Park: The Stick of Truth|South Park: Stick of Truth!]] Collect all 30, and earn 3 trophies in the process! [''makes silly noises with his tongue while waving game around, puts the game away'']

[''probably [[wikipedia:Eric Cartman|Cartman]] voice, but closer to Bugs Bunny''] Nyeeh, and if you believe that... [''Chris catches Sonichu Ball that just rolled off the table''] I got a bad joke at the end of the [[wikipedia:Black Friday (South Park)|Black Friday trilogy!]] [''obnoxious laugh'']

[''normal voice''] Really bad joke. I hate that. [''small raspberry''] Enh...

''Ennnnywho''! So, here's a parody of the ol' Chinpoko commercial with Sonichu and Rosechu!

[''silly voice''] Hey kids! Do you like Sonichu and Rosechu?

[''silence'']

[''Cartman-like voice again''] Yes...

[''silly voice''] Then you're gonna—then GOOD! Because you'll be able to c-collect 'em a—you'll be able to buy and collect 'em all nooowww!

[''starts singing''] I got to buy Sonichu and Rosechu, I got to buy 'em, I got to buuuy 'emmm! Buy and collect 'em all! [''picks up each figurine individually''] Sonichu! Rosechu! [reaches for [[Black Sonichu]], but changes his mind and skips over him] Wild! Simonla! Christine! The whole crew! And a whole lot more! From the whole series and [unintelligible] and everything! Because... allow—because...

[''starts singing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's folksy Theme Song]]''] There's the mighty Sonichu with the mighty zapping boom, there's the mighty Rosechu with the mighty zapping blade! And along with meeeee, we defend the cityyyyyyy! From the forces of e-vil! Who want to make true love and sweet emotions il-le-gal! Because they never could feel it for themselves. Very sad.

But anyway, so... you can collect them all.

[''Cartman voice''] Yay! I'm Eric Cartman, I wanna collect all the Chin—all the Sonichu and Rosechu figures! And b—battle them against my Chinpokomon!

Yo, I got news for you Lan—I got news for you, s—Cartman! Now, I know you're a ba—are you a... a very bad—a very bad kid? But I would kick [[''unintelligible''] I would avoid it—PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW—and just pretty much dominate like you kids did at the end of the episode. [''Short zip sound''] Heh.

Well, silly jokes all around. [''Sing-song voice''] I got to buy 'em! Sonichu and Rosechu! Bee-deep-bee-deep-bee-deep, the Sonichu and Rosechu. Only available authentically and truly from CWCville Shopping. But hopefully before the 20th anniversary, we'll have something more... manufactured along the lengths that I personally would oversee and supervise everything. And they definitely
would be based on the—they definetly would be based on and from the ones I've created originally. I mean, no other sources! [[TRUE and HONEST|Authentic, true, and everything]]! And personally certified. Made from my own two hands with the material figures and everything. Takes time though. Eh... mmm. But, sheer butenenergy [?].

But aside from that, good ratings, good everything—Amiibo functionality, too! Hmm. We'll play Nintendo Playstation! Perfect avatar of the old prototype of the Playstation CD-ROM drive onto the Super Nintendo! There's a Nintendo Playstation, would you like it? Playstation Vita that takes Amiibo functionality? Mmm. Oh well. Nintendo made the opt-out decision, so that's a whole different story right there. Oh well.

[''Slight falsetto''] I got to buy 'em! I got to buy 'em! Sonichu and Rosechu!

[''Normal voice''] So, yep, happy anniversary, Pokémon. And thank everybody for their continued support in my things and everything. Have a great and happy and safe day. Thank you.

[''Selfie remote fails as Chris reaches to the camera''] Darnit.

Happy Pokémon Day.

2016-02-29T07:37:44Z

Thsprppr: Continued transcript, still unfinished

"'''Happy Pokémon Day.'''" was a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 28 [[February 2016]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Pokémon Day.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|k-2GKzWrd_8}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Blue T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update: 2/25/16]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''[Chris sits at his desk with all his custom [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]] arranged in a row in front of him]''

Hello everybody, and uh, welcome to a... fun-- t-tah-- fun special... announcement or update from [[YouTube#CwcvilleGuardian_.28February_2012_-_present.29|CwcvilleGuardian]] channel, as well as [[Etsy|Cwcville Shopping]]. I know it's a day late... and quote, "a dollar short", but... Happy Pokémon Day! It was yesterday on February 27th! National Pokémon Day, apparently... or so it's called. As it came out to be in, uh... Japan and Ame-- Japan, at least. Anyway, to-- anyway, because it [[Chris and copyright|inspired]] Sonichu and Rosechu, we are definitely honoring that little bit. I mean, in four years time, it ''will'' be Sonichu's... 20th anniversary... pretty much, as well. As everybody would... as, uh, those who actually know that... well enough to be.

''[Chris's throat makes a sound]''

Yes, and uh... regardless of, uh, Sonic being a combination-- Sonic and Pikachu on that not-- on the originality, but it's ''INSPIRED'' by, not copying, INSPIRED. 'Cause, you know, the, uh... aside from the origin story of which... is still going on strong and undisputed... and whatnot and everything... we have our own complete different stories between [[Chris and English|either which]]. I mean Sonichu and Rosechu, they actually end up getting married and having children! And they still protect the city of Cwcville, Virginia, from the forces of evil! Who want to make [[Love Quest|true love]] and [[Heartsweet|sweet emotions]] [[Chris and the law|illegal]], so that everybody would be unhappy. That's... yeah.

''[Chris starts to lower his voice]'' That was me[?], I've gotten impressions that it might be [[Virginia is for Virgins|illegal in Virginia]] for one person at least throughout my life, that's what's inspired the story. And possibly a little bit of [[Chris and anger|sour mood]] and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attitude]], but... that's a whole different... territory.

''Ennnnywho''! So yeah, dere-- in the wild, there ar-- in the wild, since the rai-- since the faithful [[rainbow]] ''[Chris picks up Sonee and Rosey Amiibos for demonstration]'', there have been [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys...]] coming up! And versus, uh, what came out-out to be from the rai-- from the faithful rainbow in and around the city of Cwcville, in the wild you will only see wild Sonichus and Rosechus, the main ones. 'Cause that's what they typically would evolve to normally ''[Chris accidentally taps something on his PS Vita]'', as well as, uh... ''[Chris turns to his PS Vita to undo his last tap]'' As well as some [[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. It would take a skilful... trainer to figure out... which specific type of stones or circumstances... would... make them into amongst the other characters in the... set-- in the set, as well.

But anyway, yes, so... happiest 20th ''[[Speech impediment|annisrrsry]]'' to creators of Pokémon, 'cause without y'all, I may not have something to have been the original cr-- been, uh, original creator of from the ''INSPIRED'' ''[picks up untouched Sonic Amiibo]'' elements. But still different stories altogether among which, and more characters out of all of that, and famous for... nearly the twenty years! So... yeah, nearly sixteen years now, so... among which.

But I mean yeah, so ''[Chris picks up the [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]] and Sonichu figurines]'' ''boop''! The Pokéball! ''[Chris mashes the two figurines into each other]'' Into a Sonichu Ball! ''[Chris opens the Sonichu Ball, there is crumpled paper inside]'' Whoops, forgot to empty this one... ''[Chris starts removing paper]'' Anyway... ''[Chris attempts to turn it into comedy]'' Anybody want some receipts?! From... past transactions and whatever? I forgot to take these out. ''[places paper to the side off-camera]'' So... oh well! Who hasn't had a fail?

''[starts over]'' Anyway... ''[bashes two figurines together again, this time placing the Sonichu inside the Sonichu Ball]'' Sonichu in the Sonichu Ball! But unfortunately it will not close, because it's too big. Oh well, it's fun to pretend anyway! Yep! [makes Pokéball sounds and takes Sonichu out of ball] Display purposes! [[Random Access Humor|Have no fun]], whatnot...

Just like [[South Park]] did, and that's pretty much one of my favourites parodies of Pokémon, the [[wikipedia:Chinpokomon|Chinpokomon]]! Chinpokomon... Yes, and I do realize that the definition... the English translation from ''"chinpoko"''... so-- I've heard the commentary for that episode of South Park on DVD, so... make all the jokes th-- as you want, as long as it-- as long as you make it only apply to those who actually have... well, that are actually ''[[Pickle|born male]]''. Versus, who are actually born fe''maaaaaale''... No ''jokes''!

'Cause [[Tomgirl|we women]] take offense to that very much! Humph!

But anyway, ''[silly voice]'' Chinpokomon! You can buy them all-- you can collect them all... ''[reaches for PS3 game]'' in [[wikipedia:South Park: The Stick of Truth|South Park: Stick of Truth!]] Collect all 30, and earn 3 trophies in the process! ''[makes silly noises with his tongue while waving game around, puts the game away]''

''[probably [[wikipedia:Eric Cartman|Cartman]] voice, but closer to Bugs Bunny]'' Nyeeh, and if you believe that... ''[Chris catches Sonichu Ball that just rolled off the table]'' I got a bad joke at the end of the [[wikipedia:Black Friday (South Park)|Black Friday trilogy!]] ''[obnoxious laugh]''

''[normal voice]'' Really bad joke. I hate that. ''[small raspberry]'' Enh...

''Ennnnywho''! So, here's a parody of the ol' Chinpoko commercial with Sonichu and Rosechu!

''[silly voice]'' Hey kids! Do you like Sonichu and Rosechu?

''[silence]''

''[Cartman-like voice again]'' Yes...

''[silly voice]'' Then you're gonna-- then GOOD! Because you'll be able to c-collect 'em a-- you'll be able to buy and collect 'em all nooowww!

''[starts singing]'' I got to buy Sonichu and Rosechu, I got to buy 'em, I got to buuuy 'emmm! Buy and collect 'em all! ''[picks up each figurine individually]'' Sonichu! Rosechu! [reaches for [[Black Sonichu]], but changes his mind and skips over him] Wild! Simonla! Christine! The whole crew! And a whole lot more! From the whole series and [unintelligible] and everything! Because... allow-- because...

''[starts singing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's folksy Theme Song]]]'' There's the mighty Sonichu with the mighty zapping boom, there's the mighty Rosechu with the mighty zapping blade! And along with meeeee, we defend the cityyyyyyy! From the forces of e-vil! Who want to make true love and sweet emotions il-le-gal! Because they never could feel it for themselves. Very sad.

But anyway, so... you can collect them all.

''[Cartman voice]'' Yay! ''[unintelligible rambling in grating voice]''

Yo, I got this for you Lan-- I got this for you, s-- Cartman! Now, I know you're a ba-- are you a... a very bad-- a very bad kid?

{{Incomplete}}

Happy Pokémon Day.

2016-02-29T05:07:11Z

Thsprppr: Started transcript

Happy Pokémon Day.

2016-02-29T04:54:04Z

Thsprppr: Correcting previous video

{{Incomplete}}

"'''Happy Pokémon Day.'''" was a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 28 [[February 2016]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Pokémon Day.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|k-2GKzWrd_8}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Blue T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update: 2/25/16]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
{{Transcription}}

Update: 2/25/16

2016-02-29T04:53:26Z

Thsprppr: Adding next video

"'''Update: 2/25/16'''" was, unsurprisingly, uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[February 2016]] (one day after [[Christian Love Day|he turned 34]]).

His attempt to get people to buy a [[Sony|PS4]] for him predictably failed; instead, people sent him several gift cards with no money on them (as well as a non-winning lottery ticket, which some have said is a perfect metaphor for Chris's life). Instead of being grateful that people sent him anything at all, he instead whines about not getting what he wanted with all the grace of a [[Borb|spoilt child]], even ending the video with a petulant "thanks for nothing".

What caught many Christorians off guard was that Chris seems to have [[Chris and his ego|seriously]] [[Autism|expected]] a stranger to throw hundreds of dollars at him for no reason other than that it was his birthday and he asked, with such apparent surety that not receiving a PS4 seems to have [[Crash into slumber|shocked him into a depressive state]]. These implicit assumptions are troubling as they indicate that months of receiving payments of as much as $1000 in exchange for little to no effort on his part have only worsened his already devastating entitlement issues. In light of this, there is perhaps no greater gift anyone could have given Chris this year than nothing at all.

He also seems to have taken [[CatKnight Interview 3|Arthur Spatchcock's advice]], and gave the fans the official voices of cartoon-adapted [[Comic Chris|Comic Christine]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] within this video. Finally the fans know what Sonichu's real voice is, and of course, it's pretty much Chris', but somehow even more [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb]].

He also gets mad at ''[[South Park]]: The Stick of Truth'' because Cartman repeatedly calls the player character a "douchebag" (which Chris takes as [[Chris and reality|an insult towards him personally]]) - ignoring the fact that Cartman has always been characterized as an [[Chris|obnoxious jackass]], and that this is far from the worst thing he has done (c.f. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Tenorman_Must_Die "Scott Tenorman Must Die"], which [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails#Aftermath|he has referenced before]]).

[[Random-access humor]] and [[Donald Duck impersonation|horrible impersonations]] also return, most of which are curtailed from [[CWC 3D Voice Check|two of]] [[Cheesy!|his old]] [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]] (with the exception of Bing Bong from ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inside_Out_%282015_film%29 Inside Out]'').

==Description==
{{Quotebox|Watch, Subscribe, and Watch again for more videos, Only on Cwcville Guardian: the Official and Authentic Source for a lot about Sonichu, as well as the author herself, Christine Weston Chandler.

Voucher for Destiny White PS4 Bundle (no PS4 Camera required) Offer extended to March 5, 2016.

[[Etsy|http://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShop...]]

Coupon Code: FEB241982

Free Sonichu #4 Book with purchase of CWC Figure(s) (see earlier video for details; Expires March 17, 2016)}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update: 2/25/16
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-xm2o4rDrmg}}
| stardate = 25 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Pink T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 02/16/2016]]
| next = [[Happy Pokémon Day.]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''[Chris drops something on his desk as the video starts. Worth noting is that both the [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are on his desk.]''

Hello, and welcome to another day... 'ere on the CwcvilleGuardian channel... ''[sigh]'' Christine Chandler here... alright, so... Mm. ''[Chris begins fiddling with his glasses]'' Aight, so yesterday was my 34th birthday... um... I ''have'' re''ceived''... and I... do ''not'' pro''mote'' such dishonesty... Gift cards that have... no activation... and no value or money on them at all. And also, I have received... another... piece of mail. This one had... a scratched-off lottery ticket that was ''not''--that was clearly not a winner. ''[Chris licks his lips]'' Alright?

And I certainly did not receive a PlayStation 4 console... [[Chris and English|even much less]] the white one with the ''Destiny'' game and all that... Still, I move forward, so... mm.

''[Chris reaches for something off-camera]''

But let's do something different today!

''[Chris pulls back, revealing he was reaching for [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Post 2011 Christine Weston Chandler Amiibo Figure (from Original Creator)|his tomgirl self-insert amiibo]].]''

Okay, a little voice acting.

''[Chris grabs all three of the amiibo on his desk, then sets Rosechu down.]''

Alright, so it's a cartoon series, I would definitely be voicing myself and Sonichu, and this is what he'd sound like--mm.

''[Chris rocks the figures back and forth as they "speak".]''

'''Christine:''' Hey, Sonichu, what's new?

'''Sonichu:''' ''[sounding like Chris's regular voice, only slightly higher pitched]'' Hey, mama, whatchu ''know?'' I'm doing OK with my wife, Rosey. ''[Chris slides her figure slightly closer to the others.]''

'''Rosechu:''' ''[in falsetto]'' Hello!

''[Chris breaks character for a moment]''

I'd get a femal-- I'd get a fem... woman to voice Rosechu for real. I don't know, somebody that sounds like... or similar ''to''... I dunno maybe, [[Britney Spears]] or... Katy Perry, or... hell, Meghan Trainor. I like her voice too. Mm.

''[Chris resumes voice acting]''

'''Christine:''' ''Ennnh'' yeah, yesterday was my [[birthday]]! So... I had low expectations for it, and I didn't get much about it... except... pretty much... birthday greetings, word of mouth, AND I had to buy my own cupcakes!

'''Sonichu:''' ''[Chris's regular voice]'' Oh that's a sha-- ''[slips back into "Sonichu" voice]'' Ohhh that's a shame, man! Mom! That's a shame, mom! Enh... Oh well! You get older, you find that people are not gonna care... as much about ya.

'''Christine:''' Enh... They only care about you on your own... ''[Chris slams figure of himself face first into desk]'' death bed. ''[flips figure to lie face up on desk, starts spinning it around]'' So that's ''anurr'' year on the old odometer. ''[inhales somewhat disgustedly, picks figure of himself upright again, and starts screeching while wobbling figure back and forth]''

'''Sonichu:''' ''[unintelligible, though clearly adding to Christine's screeching]''

'''Christine:''' ''[more screeching]''

''[licks lips as he finishes voice acting]''

Yeah. ''[blows a soft, sad raspberry]''

Hmm. Alright, um... also, um, those of you who have been watching my [[Playstation Network]] activity, you'd notice I've ha-had to go through my whole disk library once again, just because I've ended up having to... reformat my hard drive... after I... because of a corrupted... ''firmware file'' on it, that's... upsetting, but I've got that settled and fixed and... all the... games have been reinstalled and the DLC re-downloaded and everything, so... mm, ''[dissolves to gibberish]'' meh bdep blep bleh.

''[sigh]''

And yet, still no PS... 4! 'Cause I need to... catch back up! In the technology and everything. ''[sigh]'' Although, last night I did pu-- I did, uh-- I had-- already had purchased it on current, a copy of South Park: Stick of Truth. It's pretty good... the onl-- my only d-- the only downside that I really... did not like was, uh... actually two things. Could not be a girl! So I had to make the ''boy'' look like a girl. So that's one way of promoting being a transwoman. You dress up the new kid as a girl! And that wor-- And that works out. Mm.

And then also-- second part, I really... don't-- I really do not care for Cartman's attitude as well... and... it's not funny at all. ''[stammers]'' Y-yo-eh... You-- I enter my name as the character name, and get-- then he calls me... "Douchebag!" ''[shakes head disapprovingly]'' Seriously, Cartman... ''[raises voice, noticeably agitated]'' I'm the player! I'm gonna make progress in this game! ''[starts bashing figure of himself against desk as he rants]'' So don't you dare call me... a ''douchebag''! ''[slams figure one last time, pauses seeming to calm down]''

Ehh, well... ''[exhales frustratedly through pursed lips]'' and y'know... meanwhile... what else? ''[struggles to think of topics to discuss]'' What else, what else? ''[small sigh]'' Ahh, what else? ''[pause]'' What else?

I don't know much else, my brain's gone blank. Unngh... I have so much inside if-- built, poked[?] and pent up to my life, so it's no wonder my mind is constantl-- is constantly off and on blank. ''[blows small raspberry]''

Enngh... I'm sorry I can't b-- I'm sorry I'm... not so funny, but... if I ca-- if I don't feel it, then it just doesn't come up... as easily.

Oh well! In a trial of being funny... [playful voice] And now for some [[Random Access Humor|random, silly things]]!

''[pause as he thinks]''

Hey look, a monkey. Hi, monkey! Aaaaaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane![?]

''[Chris repeats it, because it was so good the first time]''

Hi, monkey! Aaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane!

''[long pause]''

It's plays out better in my head. It doesn't actually have characters.

Ehh, what else is there? Alright... well redoing vocal impressions.

And now here's Cheese from [[wikipedia:Foster's_Home_for_Imaginary_Friends|''Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends'']]:

''[grating, nasally voice]'' I like chocolate milk! Tinkle tinkle in the car, you should really use a jar! Prizes![?] I like cereal! I'm not a tampon! My name is Cheese! Do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again!

[lower voice] Autobots! Transform, and roll out! Ffff--

[restrained voice] I'm Meatwad, a ball of meat. Ffff--

[nasally voice, similar to last one] Egegegegegegegegeg. I speak Spanish, every day! Ffff--

[silly voice] Stop in the name of the law! Sorry about that chief!

[lower silly voice] [[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Idiots!]] ''[raspberry, starts singing tune]'' Nununununununununununununu.

[sings different tune] Bing Bong, Bing Bong, who's the friend that likes to play? ''[picks up figures and dances them around the desk]'' Bing Bong, Bing Bong, nanananananana! Bing Bong, Bing Bong, entertainment value! Bing Bong, Bing Bong... ''[peters out, keeps dancing figures around for a bit]''

Alright, well anyway... subscribe! Subscribe to my channel to get updates on... well, me, Sonichu, my store on [[Etsy]], Cwcville Shopping... and, uh... everything else nearly related, ''ourgh''-- or of interest.

''[sigh]''

I'm stuck in a... moody mode, so... oh well. Right, so... thanks for the mail and then... [[Chris and his ego|thanks for nothing]]! Alright. Well, be another update... in about a week or s-- week or... give or take. Have a good day, thank you.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Happy Pokémon Day.

2016-02-29T04:52:41Z

Thsprppr: Creating page

{{Incomplete}}

"'''Happy Pokémon Day.'''" was a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 28 [[February 2016]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Pokémon Day.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|k-2GKzWrd_8}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Blue T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 02/25/2016]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
{{Transcription}}

Update: 2/25/16

2016-02-26T13:42:30Z

Thsprppr: Finished transcript

"'''Update: 2/25/16'''" was, unsurprisingly, uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[February 2016]] (one day after [[Christian Love Day|he turned 34]]).

His attempt to get people to buy a [[Sony|PS4]] for him predictably failed; instead, people sent him several unactivated gift cards. Instead of being grateful that people sent him anything at all, he instead whines about not getting what he wanted. [[Chris and his ego|What a surprise.]]

==Description==
Watch, Subscribe, and Watch again for more videos, Only on Cwcville Guardian: the Official and Authentic Source for a lot about Sonichu, as well as the author herself, Christine Weston Chandler.

Voucher for Destiny White PS4 Bundle (no PS4 Camera required) Offer extended to March 5, 2016.

[[Etsy|http://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShop...]]

Coupon Code: FEB241982

Free Sonichu #4 Book with purchase of CWC Figure(s) (see earlier video for details; Expires March 17, 2016)


==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update: 2/25/16
| video = {{#ev:youtube|85BvI_BIL3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Pink T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 02/16/2016]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''[Chris drops something on his desk as the video starts. Worth noting is that both the [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are on his desk.]''

Hello, and welcome to another day... 'ere on the CwcvilleGuardian channel... ''[sigh]'' Christine Chandler here... alright, so... Mm. ''[Chris begins fiddling with his glasses]'' Aight, so yesterday was my 34th birthday... um... I ''have'' re''ceived''... and I... do ''not'' pro''mote'' such dishonesty... Gift cards that have... no activation... and no value or money on them at all. And also, I have received... another... piece of mail. This one had... a scratched-off lottery ticket that was ''not''--that was clearly not a winner. ''[Chris licks his lips]'' Alright?

And I certainly did not receive a PlayStation 4 console... [[Chris and English|even much less]] the white one with the ''Destiny'' game and all that... Still, I move forward, so... mm.

''[Chris reaches for something off-camera]''

But let's do something different today!

''[Chris pulls back, revealing he was reaching for [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Post 2011 Christine Weston Chandler Amiibo Figure (from Original Creator)|his tomgirl self-insert amiibo]].]''

Okay, a little voice acting.

''[Chris grabs all three of the amiibo on his desk, then sets Rosechu down.]''

Alright, so it's a cartoon series, I would definitely be voicing myself and Sonichu, and this is what he'd sound like--mm.

''[Chris rocks the figures back and forth as they "speak".]''

'''Christine:''' Hey, Sonichu, what's new?

'''Sonichu:''' ''[sounding like Chris's regular voice, only slightly higher pitched]'' Hey, mama, whatchu ''know?'' I'm doing OK with my wife, Rosey. ''[Chris slides her figure slightly closer to the others.]''

'''Rosechu:''' ''[in falsetto]'' Hello!

''[Chris breaks character for a moment]''

I'd get a femal-- I'd get a fem... woman to voice Rosechu for real. I don't know, somebody that sounds like... or similar ''to''... I dunno maybe, [[Britney Spears]] or... Katy Perry, or... hell, Meghan Trainor. I like her voice too. Mm.

''[Chris resumes voice acting]''

'''Christine:''' ''Ennnh'' yeah, yesterday was my [[birthday]]! So... I had low expectations for it, and I didn't get much about it... except... pretty much... birthday greetings, word of mouth, AND I had to buy my own cupcakes!

'''Sonichu:''' ''[Chris's regular voice]'' Oh that's a sha-- ''[slips back into "Sonichu" voice]'' Ohhh that's a shame, man! Mom! That's a shame, mom! Enh... Oh well! You get older, you find that people are not gonna care... as much about ya.

'''Christine:''' Enh... They only care about you on your own... ''[Chris slams figure of himself face first into desk]'' death bed. ''[flips figure to lie face up on desk, starts spinning it around]'' So that's ''anurr'' year on the old odometer. ''[inhales somewhat disgustedly, picks figure of himself upright again, and starts screeching while wobbling figure back and forth]''

'''Sonichu:''' ''[unintelligible, though clearly adding to Christine's screeching]''

'''Christine:''' ''[more screeching]''

''[licks lips as he finishes voice acting]''

Yeah. ''[blows a soft, sad raspberry]''

Hmm. Alright, um... also, um, those of you who have been watching my [[Playstation Network]] activity, you'd notice I've ha-had to go through my whole disk library once again, just because I've ended up having to... reformat my hard drive... after I... because of a corrupted... ''firmware file'' on it, that's... upsetting, but I've got that settled and fixed and... all the... games have been reinstalled and the DLC re-downloaded and everything, so... mm, ''[dissolves to gibberish]'' meh bdep blep bleh.

''[sigh]''

And yet, still no PS... 4! 'Cause I need to... catch back up! In the technology and everything. ''[sigh]'' Although, last night I did pu-- I did, uh-- I had-- already had purchased it on current, a copy of South Park: Stick of Truth. It's pretty good... the onl-- my only d-- the only downside that I really... did not like was, uh... actually two things. Could not be a girl! So I had to make the ''boy'' look like a girl. So that's one way of promoting being a transwoman. You dress up the new kid as a girl! And that wor-- And that works out. Mm.

And then also-- second part, I really... don't-- I really do not care for Cartman's attitude as well... and... it's not funny at all. ''[stammers]'' Y-yo-eh... You-- I enter my name as the character name, and get-- then he calls me... "Douchebag!" ''[shakes head disapprovingly]'' Seriously, Cartman... ''[raises voice, noticeably agitated]'' I'm the player! I'm gonna make progress in this game! ''[starts bashing figure of himself against desk as he rants]'' So don't you dare call me... a ''douchebag''! ''[slams figure one last time, pauses seeming to calm down]''

Ehh, well... ''[exhales frustratedly through pursed lips]'' and y'know... meanwhile... what else? ''[struggles to think of topics to discuss]'' What else, what else? ''[small sigh]'' Ahh, what else? ''[pause]'' What else?

I don't know much else, my brain's gone blank. Unngh... I have so much inside if-- built, poked[?] and pent up to my life, so it's no wonder my mind is constantl-- is constantly off and on blank. ''[blows small raspberry]''

Enngh... I'm sorry I can't b-- I'm sorry I'm... not so funny, but... if I ca-- if I don't feel it, then it just doesn't come up... as easily.

Oh well! In a trial of being funny... [playful voice] And now for some [[Random Access Humor|random, silly things]]!

''[pause as he thinks]''

Hey look, a monkey. Hi, monkey! Aaaaaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane![?]

''[Chris repeats it, because it was so good the first time]''

Hi, monkey! Aaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane!

''[long pause]''

It's plays out better in my head. It doesn't actually have characters.

Ehh, what else is there? Alright... well redoing vocal impressions.

And now here's Cheese from [[wikipedia:Foster's_Home_for_Imaginary_Friends|''Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends'']]:

''[grating, nasally voice]'' I like chocolate milk! Tinkle tinkle in the car, you should really use a jar! Prizes![?] I like cereal! I'm not a tampon! My name is Cheese! Do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again!

[lower voice] Autobots! Transform, and roll out! Ffff--

[restrained voice] I'm Meatwad, a ball of meat. Ffff--

[nasally voice, similar to last one] Egegegegegegegegeg. I speak Spanish, every day! Ffff--

[silly voice] Stop in the name of the law! Sorry about that chief!

[lower silly voice] [[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Idiots!]] ''[raspberry, starts singing tune]'' Nununununununununununununu.

[sings different tune] Bing Bong, Bing Bong, who's the friend that likes to play? ''[picks up figures and dances them around the desk]'' Bing Bong, Bing Bong, nanananananana! Bing Bong, Bing Bong, entertainment value! Bing Bong, Bing Bong... ''[peters out, keeps dancing figures around for a bit]''

Alright, well anyway... subscribe! Subscribe to my channel to get updates on... well, me, Sonichu, my store on [[Etsy]], Cwcville Shopping... and, uh... everything else nearly related, ''ourgh''-- or of interest.

''[sigh]''

I'm stuck in a... moody mode, so... oh well. Right, so... thanks for the mail and then... [[Chris and his ego|thanks for nothing]]! Alright. Well, be another update... in about a week or s-- week or... give or take. Have a good day, thank you.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Barbara Chandler

2014-07-30T06:43:07Z

Thsprppr: Undo revision 173226 by RealityDetached (talk)

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|she threatens to kill me in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 72)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interperted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun (her shot almost killed Cole).

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>
===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>[[Cutco]]</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris at least until [[April 2011]].<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

As of June 2014, Barbara was still able to walk at least short distances, and was much slimmer than she had been in the past, no longer the morbidly obese blob that she was several years prior. As of June 2014, her posture and movement suggested that she suffered from osteoarthritis, or some other joint problem. Also, her legs and arms were quite thin and stick-like, as if her muscles had been wasting away from lack of use. This information suggested that Barbara's physical health was continuing to decline as of June 2014. {{cite}}

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>; however, "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped make the living room uninhabitable, and generally turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is - or rather, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|was]].<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, obstensibly due to the conditions at the Chandler house. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

In a May 17, 2011 email to [[Jackie]], Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and threatening to kill him.<ref name="jackie26" />

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Q-sand

2013-12-10T06:51:06Z

Thsprppr: Redirected page to Minor CWC-isms#Q

#REDIRECT [[Minor CWC-isms#Q]]

Kacey Call 5

2013-11-29T11:53:26Z

Thsprppr: /* Highlights */ Misquote

29 [[August 2009]]

==Highlights==
'''CHRIS:''' "...It's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just was dumb on the subject; I never learned about that sort of thing."

*[[Chris]] just finished getting a "tough talkin' to" from [[Kim]] about getting a [[job]]; he already can't remember what she said.
*[[Kacey]] did research on how Chris can still receive the [[tugboat]] while having a job or something; he doesn't listen.
*Counselors at [[PVCC]] told Chris that they could get him a job; he didn't listen.
*Chris doesn't know what Financial Aid is; he promises to Google it.
*Chris didn't have any control over his own [[Chris and money|money]] until he was 23.
*Chris whines some more about being [[slow-in-the-minds|blank-minded]] and confused.
*Chris says he's willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
*Chris lies about how much he spends on the [[PSN]]. Compares buying game add-ons to having a magazine subscription to try and make Kacey understand it's not a big deal.
*Chris doesn't know anything about college because that happened yeeeeaars ago.
*[[CADD]] WAS HARD WORK BURNED INTO HIS PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
*Chris took tennis and ice-skating classes in college.
*Chris took accounting and/or marketing classes first, then "years later" he found out there were not enough jobs available in that field so he switched to CADD.
*Kacey says Chris is basically wiping his ass on his CADD Degree; Chris says "that was uncalled for". Only says he understands so that Kacey will shut up and let him leave.

==Part 1==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 5 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|z3z9vXbFO48}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 4]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 6]]
}} </center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello-o?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' I'm okay too. [content sigh] So um...
 '''Kacey:''' Um...
 '''Chris:''' Anything on your mind right now?
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Is there anything on your mind right now?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, um, did you go apply for jobs like I said?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. I go- I wen- I uh, uh, application at Wal-Mart. Uh, I'm gonna wait 'til... I'm gonna...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] That's good. Did you do it in person?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, I filled- no, I went online and did it. Filled it out for the Charlottesville store.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cause, um, I did some research for you. Um, about working with your disability. And actually, um, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Like you could- they put you on a trial work period or they- and they can extend your period of eligibility. Like, you could be making... um... like it doesn't matter what you make during the trial work period, like you'll get both still, your uh, your tugboat and your, uh wages. And, even afterwards if you're not making enough, like you can get both. It actually goes by what you make, not by how many hours you work.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... I see.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean that's actually really exciting! I mean, you could be technically making more than me. [Chris tries to interrupt, she keeps talking] Well, at least, you know, right now. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Well, I don't know. Um, I'm st- I s- still got to uh, wait to talk to uh, that guy from s- social security...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Chris! This is straight from the social security ''site''! This is a great opportunity! And even ''if'' you make too much money you can still keep your Medicaid, uh, benefits! I mean, how can you not be excited about this?
 '''Chris:''' I dunno... I got- I got- I just talked to Kim and she gave me some, uh, tough talkin' to as well, ya know, about uh, me getting a job and what not, uh... Also talked about uh, old school- also t- also talked about college days and uh, I don- I- I don't remember all the details but it's all- it's all ju- it's like absorbed- everything she told me is in the back of my head. It's- it's tattooed in my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, that doesn't really... [Chris tries to interrupt]
 '''Chris:''' It... it's...
 '''Kacey:''' ...that doesn't really sound like you listen to her a lot.
 '''Chris:''' I did listen to her! I did! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' But didn't you just talk to her and you can't remember stuff?
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, 'cause you told me that Kim calls before I do.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [pause] Hmm, but anyway uh... mm, let me think... let me think.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean uh- ar- are you- so I did all this research for you, and you don't even... care now?
 '''Chris:''' I do care! I do care. I appreciate it. I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean you're- I don't think you're really gonna do anything! I- I mean...
 '''Chris:''' [interrupts] I'm- I- I- I'm doing something! My family knows I'm out to look for a job.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so what did your family say?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... This- this- it- they're, they're all like, "Ah, well yeah, you gotta find out how much you're gonna earn, and how this is- how this is gonna- is gonna effect your social security, and uh, if you're going to be able to earn more than your social security..." Ahh...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to make a LOT more than your social security, like you need to make... Like, okay. Um... like, um, depending also on... w- you know, how your uh, quote unquote disability effects you getting to work and stuff... Like, they can take these expenses, um, and actually deduct it from your pay. Like so, even if you're making let's say a thousand dollars a month, um, if your disability causes you to have to do things that cost you two hundred a month, you're still- they- they count those two hundred, um, against your pay so you're still making- you know, even though you ''are'' making more than you should, they won't count it against you. Like you have to be making over a thousand dollars a month before they're gonna even... Even then they're only gonna take part of it away. They're never gonna take away all of it. Like you'd have to make a LOT more to where it wouldn't even matter. I mean and even if your parents are behind you or not, you're 27, right? I mean, you have to make your own decisions!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Yeah, I- I do have to make my own decisions, uh... yeah. Als- one of the things I talked to Kim about was like uh, I- I'm often confused with my li- I'm often confused about things that I actually, uh, want or... need. It's been that way for so many years. I mean like...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Well don't you think it's time for that to change then?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it- I do need to ah, that's ah- that's something I do need to change.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, you know, your whole life you're going to be figuring stuff out. There's not a magical upgrade that makes you an adult. I mean, I'm pretty sure, like, at times, my parents still need to figure things out and everything. I mean, we're not computers. We don't work like computers. We definitely don't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah you're right. You are right, about that. Hmm... but anyway one of my- anyway one of my problems in my mind is like ya know I... tend ta... I tend, I ah, I often do get confused, and uh, feel like I'm lost, and it's like- ya know, and I- I'm not- I have not been sure of what exactly I want in life other than my [[sweetheart]], and my little daughter [[Crystal]] that I have dreamed of... And pretty much, ya know, all my life, every time I've been asked "Where do you see yourself in five years?", I always draw a blank!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe that's showing you that maybe you should let ''go'' of Crystal and all that stuff. Maybe you should ''go'' in a different direction. Maybe you're getting ''blanked'' because you're not going in the direction you should be going in.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to focus on more important things.
 '''Chris:''' And- and that's another thing, I mean ya know, Kim could tell you more about the conversation we had, but uh- but she- she and I talked about that, but also like ya know, even during, even with, even - I have talked to my counselors in Piedmont, when I was working towards my CADD degree and certificate. It's like ya know, yeah sure they can help me get a job, and yadda yadda yadda... um...
 '''Kacey:''' Then why didn't you let them?!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] ...Yeah. I- it's jus- I- I have never been really sure what I wanted to go out for. I mean... I- I- ah- [stutters]
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Then you need to get back in school Chris! You need to do something. You're 27. You're- I mean yes, I know people are going to school, um older and older but, [laughs] come on! Isn't there anything you wanted to do even when you were little?
 '''Chris:''' I- I- [frustrated stuttering] I'm thinking about it! I'm mean I'm trying to- I'm ah- I'm ah- I'm trying to make- ah- [stutters]
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] C'mon, this is pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorting all this out and I'm thinking about it, and I'm going to do- I'm going to do something. It takes time for me before I can - before I actually - but I AM doing something, you know. I submitted the application for Wal-Mart, and I'm going to do one for Target, and I'm going to do one for Ma-Donalds...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. Remember when I said in other cultures you wouldn't survive? I mean come on. You need to take charge. I mean, you are an adult. You're gonna have to make snap judgments sometime. I mean y- I mean isn't there anything that you wanted to do when you were younger? I mean, even if it's something like making video games! You could probably do that!
 '''Chris:''' I mean, that is one thing, but... I- that- that is one thing but...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I mean you already have some CADD stuff, you could learn how to program them and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but unfortunately they don't teach that- those kinds of classes at like, uh, Piedmont. I'm not sure if there are any colleg- if there are any classes around here...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Whatever! They have stuff online you can take, Chris! You have no excuse!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but- yeah, I know, but I'm kinda reluctant on taking classes online.
 '''Kacey:''' No, okay, there's no but! You either don't have an excuse, or you do have an excuse!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, fine, I don't have an excuse. But... so many options, I'm not sure- I'm not sure wha- I'm just not sure where to ''begin''.
 '''Kacey:''' A lot of people are. Why don't you go talk to um, I mean if you can't go to PVCC, why don't you go to someplace else that's closer? Um, or why don't you go somewhere in D.C.? I mean... it would be easy for you to get housing. [pause, Chris sighs] Why don't you take a couple different classes and see? Or, or I mean, I bet you don't even research this sh- stuff.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] I have- I did- I do research- I do researching ya know... I've tried- I've gone onto social security dot gov, website... but I don't... I... I cannot understand it, I... [Kacey talks over him]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but I'm talking about school. Chris.
 '''Chris:''' [tries to interrupt]
 '''Kacey:''' Chris! CHRIS! Listen to me! No! Listen to me! Do you not realize the opportunities you have? Do you not realize they will ''pay'' for your school? They will ''pay'' for your boarding? They will ''pay'' for your transportation? Do you know how much I would KILL for that going through school right now? And I'm going to have to go through med school! And you are just SITTING on your ass ''wasting'' that shit when the government will BEG you to take it! WHAT the hell?!
 '''Chris:''' I didn't even know I had those options and I'm not sure how to activate those options. I never learned!
 '''Kacey:''' Go to a school! Talk to a counselor there! Talk to an adviser there. Fill out your, F-A-F-S-A. I mean, come on. There's SO much that you could just reach out for and... Ugh! I mean like, you could do anything!
 '''Chris:''' Ah- Ah, hold up there... S-A-S-A?
 '''Kacey:''' Your FAFSA? Come on. The financial aid application? How do you NOT know... [laugh] about... I- I- [cracks up]
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I do not know that. I've never even heard of that.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you not hear ab- ...Are you serious?! It's financial aid! You- you- you went to college!
 '''Chris:''' I've- I- I've heard- I've heard of financial aid but I never heard of S-A-S-A.
 '''Kacey:''' You haven't heard of a FAFSA? That- you HAD to have filled one out. I mean, did your parents pay for your college outright?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my parents did pay for my college classes.
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] Just go to a college. Just go to a financial aid office or just... Google-

==Part 2==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 5 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|cO8Zd2SF8Vs&NR}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 4]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 6]]
}} </center>

 '''Kacey:''' -it. It's F-A-F-S-A. [Chris echoes, "F-A-F-S-A"] And it's so easy to do online. It so is. All you need are... you know what? You wouldn't even need much of anything 'cause you don't pay taxes so you don't have any W-2's or anything, or W-4's, so, pfft. And you're old enough to where your parents won't matter. So you could probably get - I mean you have no income and you're on disability, you - oh my God, they would pay for everything!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Well I will look into that. That was S-A-F-S-A?
 '''Kacey:''' F-A-F-S-A.
 '''Chris:''' ...Hmm. Okay, what's the acronym stand for? That will help me understand better.
 '''Kacey:''' Are you serious?
 '''Chris:''' Ya I'm serious.
 '''Kacey:''' It- it's just easier if you just Google that. I promise you. It- it's gonna come up. It- it's gonna be a dot gov site... [snickers]
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I will look- okay, I will look that up. And I will look into it.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. It's only five letters. [laughing] It- it's okay. Just- or just Google financial aid! That's going to be the FIRST thing that pops up on Google, I ''promise'' you!
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Financial aid, I will Google that. [Kacey sighs] My computer's on the other room. I'll uh, go take care- I, uh, I will- I promise you I will go look into that right after we- right after we finish up here. [long pause] Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' [short sigh] Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' I wa- I mean, it was just kinda like, ya know, I wasn't sure you were there, you know, you just paused for a moment. But yeah, I promise you I will go look into everything-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I'm just frustrated, y'know.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Well... i-it's not your fault that I'm a little bit re- that I'm a little bit [[slow-in-the-minds|slow]] sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but I mean like, this is stuff you should know. I mean this is- this is frustrating for me. I mean, like, I can understand ignorance, but I can't stand stupidity.
 '''Chris:''' No I- no it's not stupi- no, it's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just- was dumb on the subject, I never learned about that sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you not if you go to school? Obviously, SOMEBODY must have talked about, "Hey, I got my financial aid!", I mean, I'm pretty sure you could not go to college, and not even overhear somebody... talk about financial aid.
 '''Chris:''' I- yeah- I've overheard- Yeah, I've overheard discussions of financial aid. But it was like, ya know, I was like picking my classes... and... and I just didn't- I just didn't- and my parents did not make a big deal about it, and I just... didn't...
 '''Kacey:''' Well it's not up to your parents! It's not up to your parents to make a big deal about it. It's up to YOU to grab your future! [long pause]
 '''Chris:''' [sound of distress] ...Yeah, it is up to me, ahh... there is a lot for me to think about. Yeah, but I wa- but I will Google financial aid and I will, I will, uh, research that. Hm... And then- make it- make it- mmm, sort out what I really would like to do, and... mmm, do it. [pause] Damn incoming ca- ! [audio warps]
 '''Kacey:''' [sounding tired] ...What?
 '''Chris:''' [indistinctly] I think I might have touched a thing, wait. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, are you still there?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm here.
 '''Chris:''' I had an incoming call from a- from some 404, 67-something... it was a long number, obviously long distance... it was like...
 '''Kacey:''' 404?
 '''Chris:''' No... four- f- four-four... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay you- Hold on hold on, tell me it?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, it's like, four four- something. Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, no, go ahead and look up-
 '''Chris:''' It- it- anyway. Anyway. Anyway, it was like an incoming, it was incoming, and it was like, it was interrupting you, bothering me, you know. I got an incoming call-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Was the 404 an area code?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... it was like 447. I think... I don't, I'm not- [audio warps] -that might not be correct.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, there's a big difference between that and... [trails off]
 '''Chris:''' Ehh. Well never mind, never mind the phone number, the point was, i- it- the call was incoming while I was talking to you, and it just makes a beep, to my, to the speaker on my cell phone. And it just bothered me. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' [sounding excited] Two new voicemail! Shaddup, phooone, I'm talking to my- [pause] -talkin' to Kacey here. Dang phone, right? I mean, I'm sure you've had problems like that...
 '''Kacey:''' You're talking to your ''what''?
 '''Chris:''' I'm talkin' to- Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said, "I'm talking to my ____" -you're talking to your what?
 '''Chris:''' [sounding defeated] I- I'm talking to my ''friend''.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' [in a small voice] Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Just making sure.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, you have the right. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, yeah- I wi- I will, uh- yeah. I will... stay on track, Googling financial aid after we finish up here.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, you need to- you need to trust me on this. I mean, I'm not gonna- make you lose your tugboat. Not- not that I approve of it! Just to let you know, I mean, I think it's great to help get people in the right ''direction'', but you can't be on it for the rest of your life. I mean, you've already been on it what, since you've been eighteen? That, that's kind of pathetic, Chris. I mean, I'm- I'm ''paying'' for you to sit around and do nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [confused] Um... yeah wait a minute, paying for it when I was eight- no wait a, wha- what- What about paying for it when I was eighteen, from eighteen?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm a taxpayer. My money goes ''towards'' that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, before that. You said something about, uh, something happening when I was eighteen?
 '''Kacey:''' You- you've been on this since you were eighteen, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, the social security. Um... uhhh, yeah but the money was going to my parents, and uh, they did not redirect it to-
 '''Kacey:''' It's still coming out of my paycheck.
 '''Chris:''' It was not redirected to me until after- I think I was like 23, something like that. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ...What was that?
 '''Chris:''' I do not think they redirected it toward, redirected the money towards me until after I turned 23.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought that your money still went to your dad.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... the ma- I mean, it's like you know, they- uh, yeah, they had me on the disability since I was born, and my- and the checks were going to my mother and my father. And then-
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, since you were born?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, maybe since I was diagnosed with [[autism]].
 '''Kacey:''' I was about to say, 'cause, you- you can't just tell a child has autism once they're ''born''!
 '''Chris:''' [stammering] Okay well, I'm sorry, I got my- I got mixed up, I- I'm trying- I-
 '''Kacey:''' That's conflicting!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I got mixed up, I'm sorry. But anyway, uh, since I was diagnosed with autism-
 '''Kacey:''' How do you get that mixed up? [pause]
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] I don't- I'm trying- I'm gathering- okay, my mouth is going faster than my brain.
 '''Kacey:''' [cynical laugh] Aha. [another pause]
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm sure that's happened to you, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' Um. I don't know, I pretty much think before I speak sometimes, like, unless I get really, really, really angry.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah- [oddly echoing]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I'm pretty much in control of myself, I am... I AM in my late twenties, I have learned how to do this since I was like, eight.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I've learned how to, uh, control my speech as well, I mean like, my brain... where it can, [[Chris and English|think with my mouth]]. It's like, you know, when I'm feeling - frustrated or confused, I tend to, uh, lose control. And, get con- and, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you were way more in control of stuff. Y- you just told me that yesterday.
 '''Chris:''' I - yeah - I am more in control. 'Cause, I have to- [long pause] ...Yeah. ...Mmfh.
 '''Kacey:''' I- I don't know. Just sometimes you make this really hard. It- it really does. Because you are my friend, and I hate to see one of my friends do this to themselves.
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I- Okay- okay- Yeah, okay, I understand. I'm being difficult to read. And I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' It- it's nothing about you being difficult to read, it's just that I really don't think you're going to do anything.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going-
 '''Kacey:''' I- No! You're actually being fairly easy to read.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] I'm going to do- I'm going to do it. I'm serious.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I hope you are.
 '''Chris:''' I will. [long pause] Anyway, getting back - lemme - getting back to, uh, my discussion with Kim earlier. Um... yeah, she pretty much encouraged me to get a job as well. [something indistinct]
 '''Kacey:''' Good. I'm glad she did.
 '''Chris:''' Or, uh, Or- or getting- or- or try getting classes, or financial aid, all that, You know. Even to - move out of my house, and she's like - I tell her- I told her in the... streamline? From one memory to another? ...About the- situation in my head? Where often I'm like, blank-minded? And I get confused, a bit... along with that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' And, uh... at points she did make it clear, like, where I should begin? Like firstly, she said I should get a job, and then look at prices of an apartment, or housing? And then consider the bi- consider the, uh, the electricity, the uh, uh, water, the inter- the uh, wireless internet, the cable, all that. And then, I was like, blank-minded, and I was like- that went over my head, but still, I mean, yeah, that's a lot for me to consider.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, that is something to consider, but I mean, if you do move out on your own, are you willing to give up some of those things? Like, are you willing to have regular cable instead of digital cable? If it saves you a few bucks?

==Part 3==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 5 Part 3
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Zt7OrT5-f4U&NR}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 4]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 6]]
}} </center>

 '''Kacey''': I mean, are you willing to make those adult sacrifices?
 '''Chris:''': Uh, I guess I'm willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
 '''Kacey''': And you're gonna have to buy less video games. Yo-you just can't impulse buy.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... yeah... I'm trying to- I'm- I've been working on controlling my impulse as well.
 '''Kacey''': [over Chris] That's good, cause you really need to. I- I think you really need to, cause you can't spend hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.
 '''Chris:''': Um... yeah. I don't spend- I- I- That would be an exaggeration right there, spending hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.
 '''Kacey''': You said two thousand dollars, and the PS3 hasn't been around that long. [chuckle]
 '''Chris:''': It's been around for over two years. But anyway, yeah, hundreds a week that IS an exaggeration.
 '''Kacey''': [sighs?]
 '''Chris:''': I've actually had mine since like March 2007.
 '''Kacey''': Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but anyway, I- I don't- anyway, if I spend money on the PlayStation Network, it wouldn't be any more than 5-10 dollars a week.
 '''Kacey''': Well, I mean, it's not just, you know, your PSN stuff. I'm pretty sure you buy actual games. Uh, you know, so I mean that's gotta add up. I mean if you uh-only have 2000 on your PSN, imagine how much you've been buying for uh, like things like the Wii, and things for your PS3, like, you know, guitar hero controllers and the actual games and stuff. I mean, y-you probably spent m- uh- you if you spend just as much on those things on your PSN, that's $4000 in a year or two. That's ridiculous.
 '''Chris:''': [sheepishly] Yeah, I can see that.
 '''Kacey''': Th-that's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''': Hm... [long pause] Um... [another long pause]
 '''Kacey''': I mean, you know, that's a down payment on a car, Chris. [frustrated chuckle]
 '''Chris:''': Okay, I guess you're right, I guess that is pathetic.
 '''Kacey''': Tch, you're damn straight it is!
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] Eehh, but for the record though. Most of the- when I buy [[List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads|stuff]] on PlayStation Network, it's mostly like, you know, addons for Guitar Hero or LittleBigPlanet. Or addons fo-
 '''Kacey''': But that's where they get you.
 '''Chris:''': Well, for- or addons for the games I do have. I've- I actually am up-to-date on my add-ons for Burnout Paradise, by the way. I uhh... yeah I don't buy new games at like [[GameStop]], or used games at GameStop. The game disks, as much as I do the uh, add-ons.
 '''Kacey''': But still, you have- I mean, just to even get the add-ons, you have to actually have to have the game.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but still. I mean that saves me- that saves me trips to the GameStop to go buy a new game.
 '''Kacey''': Games are expensive Chris! I know how expensive games are. You can rack up that much easily by getting less you know, than you do on the PSN. All it takes is a three games and look! There goes almost two hundred dollars. [Skype sound]
 '''Chris:''': Hm... now that is an exaggeration right there. I mean...
 '''Kacey''': They're like $60 each. Three games would be $180.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but then you wait a while and then they go down to like 20 or... 30 or 20.
 '''Kacey''': That's a long wait, before they go to 20. That's a very, very long wait.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... that is quite a long wait. But still, patience is kinda worth it. I mean- I mean sure. You're looking forward to giving me uh- the new Ratchet and Clank game. It's like you can't even- you can't afford it.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] Yeah, but I mean. I don't think you're that patient with video games, Chris. Cause I mean, like. You're always- I mean come on! You've got most of this stuff like, brand new, like uh, you're already telling me that you've already put money down at GameStop, so you can't tell me that you're not buying new games at GameStop. You're doing that with the new Guitar Hero. You've- you- you- you know you do that. Don't lie to me.
 '''Chris:''': [stammering desperately] I know, I- Ok, I'm not... Ok, yeah, you're right. I do do that, with [[Guitar Hero]]
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] Then why are you lying to me? I mean, I hate stupid lies the most. What the hell Chris?
 '''Chris:''': Okay, think about it this- okay, you're starti- okay, say you started with Sonic the Hedgehog on SEGA genesis, then you wanna go out and buy
 '''Kacey''': [frustrated] What does that have to do lying stupid things to me? You- y- ugh!
 '''Chris:''': Oh, okay, okay. Okay, scratch that. I mean to say, like [pause] It's like when there are more and more additions from the beginning of the US service since the first game then it continues on from one game di- one game cartridge or disk to another, and it's like, or it's consider- it's comparable to like, a magazine subscription
 '''Kacey''': [pause] Chris... I- I just don't know. You- you're sounding- you're starting to sound like you need these games, or else. I mean, why do you have to keep getting them? I mean, does it bother you that much when you don't have them?
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] It does not bother me... [sighs again] Okay, it bothers me a bit.
 '''Kacey''': Chris, that's addiction. You know that right?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but... It's not like a...
 '''Kacey''': Chris, an addiction is anything that produces withdrawal symptoms. It does not need to be something that is bad or horrible. It is- it's just... what?
 '''Chris:''': Hmm... I see.
 '''Kacey''': That- That's simple psychology Chris. That's something you should know.
 '''Chris:''': Actually, I did not know that. I'm quite- I'm serious when I say that. I did not know that.
 '''Kacey''': I can't believe you didn't even take most- you know, simple prereqs in college.
 '''Chris:''': Um... pre-REPS?
 '''Kacey''': Prerequisites? Chris! How do you not know about college stuff, but you have a degree?
 '''Chris:''': Uhh, if I took prerequisites- if I took prerequisites that was in... years ago back in 2000. And it's not like I can remember a small detail like that. I mean, it's-
 '''Kacey''': [freaking out] That's not a small detail! Tha- that's college! What?!
 '''Chris:''': Well, my parents did not make a big deal about it when they helped me get into college.
 '''Kacey''': It doesn't matter- No no no no! Prereqs are not... it- they are not through your parents. They're through the college, just... I mean I... can't buy that you got a serious degree without having to do serious prereqs like that. What did you say you... I- I don't know. Whatever!
 '''Chris:''': I think you mean Comput- I think you're looking for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. Or CADD.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, how many years is the degree?
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] It was a [[CADD|four-year degree]], but I ended up earning-
 '''Kacey''': How did you get a four-year degree without any prereqs like that? How?!
 '''Chris:''': I sure I- I'm sure I probably took prerequisites, but I did not realize that that's what they were called... I did not know that- that they were called that word-
 '''Kacey''': You- You had nothing to do with any of your schooling beside showing up, did you?
 '''Chris:''': Showing up and doing my [[Love_Quest#Conflict_with_Mary_Lee_Walsh|hard]] [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Mary_Lee_Walsh_in_Sonichu|work]]!
 '''Kacey''': Hard work?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I- I did my work to the fullest of my energy. Every single- every single screenshot from the uh... gettin' in front of the computer, working towards- working on the projects for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design on the- and all that. Even then, when I fully designed the [[CWCville shopping mall]]. Both stories, all the stores, and the mayor's office. One step at a time. Every single click, every single detail. It's all... burned in my photographic memory
 '''Kacey''': Okay, then why can't you put that energy into getting a job or getting a better degree? Haven't you ever thought of getting your masters? Or anything like that? I mean- I mean, do you even remember anything from school? Besides that mall?
 '''Chris:''': I remember a lot of things from school.
 '''Kacey''': Like what?
 '''Chris:''': [really long pause] Yeah, I do remember that I had to- er- I had to take the certain amount of classes. I had to take a physical education class and art classes.
 '''Kacey''': You had to take a physical education class in college?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I took two actually. Tennis and ice skating.
 '''Kacey''': [surprised] Okay?
 '''Chris:''': I think I told you about the ice skating. That- that was- that [indecipherable]
 '''Kacey''': I- I heard- you told me you went ice skating. But I didn't know that was a college course. I mean, I'm sorry. I am not paying college money to go fucking ice skating! I'm sorry.
 '''Chris:''': I mean, that's the first time I ever learned to skate, of any sort. Even though I tried roller skating on my s- on my own one time, I just end up- I just kept falling. I didn't get much done out of that. But-
 '''Kacey''': Yeah- it- it takes balance.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, and differently-

==Part 4==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 5 Part 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|jt_mEAPx6nI}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 4]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 6]]
}} </center>

 '''Kacey''': Yeah, it's really really really hard to fall on something with four wheels.
 '''Chris:''': Really really hard to fall on something with four wheels?
 '''Kacey''': Yeah, roller skating's like, way easier than ice skating or rollerblading.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, unfort- yeah, I rephrase that. I mean, uh- I did not have roller skates. I had roller blades.
 '''Kacey''': Roller skating and rollerblading are two totally different things. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, well I mean. When I want to learn how to roller skate, I just thought, you know, they have- cause they have- they're- they got the wheels on the bottom.
 '''Kacey''': [migraine sigh] Okay...
 '''Chris:''': [interjecting more] But that was so many years ago.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, do you remember anything substantial from school. Besides you made a mall and... you made a mall.
 '''Chris:''': I remember... taking my accounting classes for the first major I picked out. Even though I was confused, and lost, when I was- when I picked it out. And can't say any more cause I told her about that fresh from my memory. I talked with her earlier tonight.
 '''Kacey''': Why don't you go back into accounting? It's really not that bad of a job. It's not like you'd be getting a degree in philosophy or something.
 '''Chris:''': I don't even remember- I- I don't even remember if it really was an accounting degree, I think it was something else. Something like marketing or something. But then, years later, my father and I talk to my- talked to my couns- talked to my counselor- my guidance counselor. Eh, yeah. 2002, something like that. Anyway, turns out there were not as many jobs that that degree could get me, and uh, then there were more jobs available for Computer Aided Drafting and Design, so my father encouraged me to switch over because-
 '''Kacey''': Well obviously that's done you a lot of good. Cause you're not getting those jobs. You can't even find them. You can't even google them.
 '''Chris:''': Because I was- Because I'm very avid with computers that's why- and then I made the switch, and I just did, I agree with that-
 '''Kacey''': Apparently you're not very adept at computers if you can't even google something.
 '''Chris:''': I can google things!
 '''Kacey''': Then why don't you do it?
 '''Chris:''': I'm going to google the financial aid. And look for the S-A-F-S-A, F-A-S-A...
 '''Kacey''': The FAFSA. That's-
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I remembered that! And I'm going to do it.
 '''Kacey''': [pause then sigh]
 '''Chris:''': Anyway, yeah. Anyway yeah, switch- it was a major switch, but yeah, at least the credits are transferable. And also I do remember something from my accounting class. You know, the first in first out method-
 '''Kacey''': You do know that if you already used credits towards a degree they don't count, right? Like, you're gonna to have to start over.
 '''Chris:''': Wait, what?
 '''Kacey''': You can't transfer them. They've already gone towards a degree. Chris, seriously!
 '''Chris:''': This is like- this is like years ago. And those credits did transfer from my [unintelligible] major to my next major.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupting] Ok ok ok ok. Chris, Chris. How long have you been out of school?
 '''Chris:''': I would say over three years now.
 '''Kacey''': Then most of your stuff isn't gonna mean crap anyway. The classes expire. They will make you take them over. That's a problem I'm going through right now. You're probably not gonna be able to transfer anything. You're gonna have to start over.
 '''Chris:''': [sighs] But I've already got the degree and the certificate.
 '''Kacey''': Doesn't matter, then that's over! E-e- I mean, some things are just not transferable. I- I can't believe that you do not know how this works.
 '''Chris:''': [pause] Yeah, I was pretty much there to learn what was going on during the time and... yeah, my father did most of the bra- most of the brain- most of the brainwork there. I was just mostly- um- I was- I mean- it- in 2000-
 '''Kacey''': So what? You're gonna let them do that for the rest of your life? You need to know things. You need to be informed. [Chris sighs] I-I- It's up to your brainwork. I- It's- You might as well have never gone to college. Look at you!
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but at least I went to college and I earned a degree.
 '''Kacey''': It doesn't matter! No, no! Ok, I think people who go to college and waste their degree and waste their potential are way worse than people who never went to college and have hard work, and they have jobs, and they pay on their own. You can not act like you're better than people just because you went to college and did some crappy degree. I mean you- No, no! Even when I was working and not in college, I was still doing way more than you were!
 '''Chris:''': You know, there are a lot of people who actually have earned their degrees, and get their [interrupted] other things as well.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] And you're not one of them, it doesn't matter! You're not even using it, you might as well not have it. What's the point of having it if you're not gonna use it.
 '''Chris:''': I will be using it.
 '''Kacey''': Now you're not. Y- You won't even figure out how to- Chris, you- Ugh! Your resume is full of Sonichu and Rosechu! It has- you haven't even mentioned your degree!
 '''Chris:''': I did, under the educational references.
 '''Kacey''': What does that have to do with anything. You need to have priorities. Your CADD degree has nothing to do with Sonichu and Rosechu.
 '''Chris:''': It allowed me to design the buildings and fro- get a better scale- and better- and get a better perspective.
 '''Kacey''': You do not need a CADD degree to be a comic artist! It- it- it is worthless. You are wasting your degree. You are pissing on it. You might as well wipe your ass with it!
 '''Chris:''': That was uncalled for.
 '''Kacey''': That is NOT uncalled for. You are wasting it. This makes me so angry! You don't know- I am so big into education and knowledge and all this stuff, and you have so many resources, things that I will kill for. And I mean... doing your art on paper is different than drawing on a computer. You're not using a tablet or anything like that to make Rosechu and Sonichu, and even then, even the buildings, that's not even CADD work. I-I- I don't know what to say, I'm just so angry!
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] I don't know what to say either. I'm speechless.
 '''Kacey''': That's the problem!
 '''Chris:''': [pause] Yeah, I don't know a lot of things, that's the problem.
 '''Kacey''': I mean, if you wanna be a comic artist, get an art degree. Go to art school. There are art institutes everywhere.
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] Yeah, I guess so (on the priority?)
 '''Kacey''': If you think you're as good as you think you are, you- they will accept you right away. Make a portfolio for art school. Take online classes. Why don't you at least google portfolios for art schooling, and you're gonna have to have more than Sonichu and Rosechu in there. They're gonna want some still lifes and real lifes too. But if you [Chris tries to interrupt]-okay, if you want to go the Sonichu and Rosechu route, you're gonna have to make this. You're gonna have to do that.
 '''Chris:''': [sighs very quietly] Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': [Also sighs] I mean... I just don't know. I mean, people just aren't gonna do this stuff for you. And if they do, they shouldn't, because they're- they're only hurting you. You have to stand on your own two feet.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... and you said financial aid can help me get housing and uh,
 '''Kacey''': Nonono! Financial aid helps pay for your schooling. But the government, since you are on disability, will help you with housing. They'll help you with school payments. I mean, you can get so much, because they want people like you to help themselves, so you can get off that tugboat. That's the whole point. They are going to put more effort into you, so that you will stop [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|sucking on]]- you know, sucking up their money. And you will be a productive member of society. That's their goal. The-this whole program is supposed to help push you, not for you to live off of your whole life.
 '''Chris:''': I understand... I understand that. And yet I still- (spent time) at the Social Security office, into and addition to uh- in addition to the job thing. And I appreciate you doing your research for me. And I- I've kept that in my memory as well.

==Part 5==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 5 Final Part
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Doe7eErlAC8}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 4]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 6]]
}} </center>

 '''Kacey''': Well, I hope you actually use it. Maybe I'll e-mail you the web sites.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': If you have any questions, you call the number that's on there. Or you can even ask me, but I'm not gonna do the whole thing for you. You have to do this. Kim's not gonna do this for you either.
 '''Chris:''': I understand.
 '''Kacey''': I mean, and especially with this trial work period. Let's say that they allow you to make as much as your monthly payments. That would be like, what $1,600 a month. You could put 800 of that away and you- you know, it's extra. You could- I mean, you- you have so much, and it pisses me off because I wish I could take it and be like, "You know what? I know how to use this, and I will." You know, give it to someone more deserving.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I wish I had your knowledge.
 '''Kacey''': I had to fight for this knowledge. Nobody helped me. That's why I'm doing this so late. You're gonna have to do it too, before it's too late. I mean, I earned my knowledge.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... I'm gonna do it too- I'm going- I'm going to earn my knowledge. And-
 '''Kacey''': You can't have these stress days. You can't have these mental rest days. You're- You're going to have to work hard at it hard; every day, every second of your life.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... I get it.
 '''Kacey''': I hope you do, I really do. Because I don't want to see one of my friends fall so f- hard.
 '''Chris:''': I understand. I appreciate your concern.
 '''Kacey''': Okay. [pause] I hope I've given you a lot to think about, but I'm gonna go ahead and go. Cause I have to work and- you know, and I have homework and stuff. I'll try to call you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''': Okay. I understand if you won't be able to. But you know-
 '''Kacey''': I'll- I'll e-mail you at least. Okay?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, all right.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, I'll let you know if I can or not.
 '''Chris:''': And I'll- I'll google the financial aid.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, good, good. Now remember it's not- it's nothing wrong for asking for little help, but don't let people do everything for you.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, all right, bye.
 '''Chris:''': All right, stay safe. Bye [hangs up]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found and video removed from YouTube. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 4]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 6]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Gal pal

2013-11-19T22:28:43Z

Thsprppr: /* Molly Quarles */ Awkward wording

{{quote
|My circle of gal-pals was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for.
|Chris, [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]
}}

[[Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|thumb|right|200 px|Chris's gal pals at his [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]]. From left to right: [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Kellie Andes]], Friend Brought Along, [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], Sarah Bevel, [[Tiffany Gowen]].]]

A '''gal pal''' or '''gal-pal''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for a female friend. Chris claims to have had a lot of these in [[Manchester High School|high school]]. Since then, he has been lamenting over the lack of gal-pals for over a decade.

==Chris and gal-pals==

Chris said, "in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over men."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref> He has always been hesitant towards making friends with males due to bad experiences with [[jerks]]. Perhaps because of this, he has adopted rather feminine traits and mannerisms (such as assuming the cowgirl sexual position in the [[sex tape]], or having a collection of [[My Little Pony|My Little Ponys]]), ignorant to the fact that what might be acceptable for girls would be considered taboo for guys.

In typical Chris style, he has managed to drive every single gal-pal away. He believes that due to all his gal-pals, he had his pick of which to turn into his [[sweetheart]] and that he missed out on this opportunity during [[high school]], oblivious that they probably associated with him out of pity.

It is also interesting to note that he never refers to girls as "friends", only "gal-pals". Usually, this phrase is used by women when talking about their social clique. Only [[gay]] men ever refer to female friends as "gal-pals", and even then, they're usually joking. Men talking about female companions will just say "friend", or "a girl who happens to be my friend" as opposed to a "girlfriend", because in English colloquy, the latter is implying a romantic relationship. The fact that Chris never thinks of girls around him as "friends" and repeatedly calls them "gal-pals" (which he probably thinks is cute, him being "one of the girls") reasserts his [[women's rights|sexism]]. He doesn't see the women in his life as equals and companions, he sees them as possible [[china]].

==Notable gal-pals==

* [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]
* [[Virginia Sanford]]
* [[Laura Beth Dorazio]]
* [[Kellie Lyn Andes]]
* [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen]]
* [[Anna McLerran]]
* [[Megan Schroeder]]
* [[Sarah Jackson]]
* [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]]
* [[Ivy O'Neil]]
* [[Kacey Devoria]]
* [[The Wallflower]]
* [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]

==Other gal-pals==
===Tiffany Robinson===
'''Tiffany Robinson''' was a friend of Chris in the days he lived in [[Richmond]]. She was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words, "we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days."

===Natasha Turner===
'''Natasha Turner''' was a friend Chris met at [[Providence Middle School]], and who was slightly older than him. He felt very fond of her, and they were next-door neighbors for a while, often hanging out at the bus stop near their homes.

===Sarah Anne Bevel===
[[File:0484-CWC18th15.jpg|thumb|'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' (in green, on the right) and '''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' (in black, next to her).]]
'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' was Chris's classmate at [[Manchester High]]. She had a sweetheart there named Brian Smart. Chris recalls hearing that they broke up some time in the [[2000s]].

In a [[Facebook]] post of 12 September 2013, Chris lamented how Sarah claimed to have no longer known him, despite apparently being one of his "Closest Friends".<ref>https://i.imgur.com/pdioxYY.png</ref> On 19 November, Chris posted that it was Sarah who revealed the "hurtfullest truth" that his gal-pals were in fact "Hired Help."<ref>[[:File:ChrisHeart02.jpg]]</ref>

===Molly Quarles===
'''Molly Quarles''' was a cheerleader (the same year as Laura Beth Dorazio) during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. Chris recalls being matched up in a "dating match-up thing" they had every Valentines Day at Manchester High. According to Chris it was ''"the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then."''<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]</ref> In October 2013, Chris was reported while trying to get back in touch with her via [[Facebook]] to see if her friendship too was only out of pity.<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===
'''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' was a girl with whom Chris shared a few classes. According to Chris, she was "a big brain of my Circle of Friends." Miranda, or "Maranda" as she was dubbed by Chris,<ref>[http://classic-web.archive.org/web/20010217092458/http://homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/pokste2.htm CWC's Pokésite 2!]</ref> helped our hero out in his early website creating days by redesigning the [[CWC's PokéSite 2!]] logo.

==Betrayal==
On 30 October, 2013, Chris [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|posted on Facebook]] about a recent discovery that all of his cherished gal-pals from [[Manchester High School]] had only put up with him out of pity for him.

{{quote
|I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a lost little boy. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't really hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to his 18th birthday party.
|[[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|An e-mail from one of Chris's "friends"]]
}}

Of course, this comes as a surprise to no one except Chris, as the [[Anna_McLerran|vast]] [[Kim Wilson|majority]] [[Vivian_Gee|of]] his gal-pals have indeed been [[White_knight|white knights]] trying to protect him.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Gal Pals 1
Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|Gal Pals 2
Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|Gal Pals 3
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Chris dispels videogame rumors

2013-11-18T21:05:54Z

Thsprppr:

"'''CWC 09132009'''" is a video, uploaded on 13 [[September 2009]], in which [[Chris]] dispels rumors that the recently announced [[Sonic]] game, codenamed ''Project Needlemouse'', would actually be a [[Sonichu]] game. He comes to this statement based upon information he got from the [[ED]] forums, the discovery of which he seems to consider [[Trolls#Chris the Troll|a massive achievement]].

At the end of the video, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] can be heard off-camera.

(For the record, the game was announced on December 4th to be ''Sonic the Hedgehog 4''.)

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris dispels videogame rumors
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sl-ZelOsrCw}}
| stardate = 13 [[September 2009]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedPokeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[10 September 2009]]
| next = [[Clyde Cash the kid video]]
}}
{{quote|D, Vivian G, D! Just like Sideshow Bob would say to Bart in that one episode that he had on his frontside.}}

=== Transcript ===

Okay, you're rockin' it again, before we begin this installment of the video book series, let's turn to me for a moment, because I have a couple of brief announcements to make, dudes! Like number—like number one, the, uh, the s—stores that—on the Internet that are selling quote/unquote merchandise? IT'S NOT OFFICIAL! IT'S NOT REAL! [''takes off [[glasses]]''] You're being scammed! You might as well throw it in the garbage, burn it, return it! Because if you bought it, you're—not only are you aiding and abetting that criminal, you're being scammed yourself! And also, Project Needlemouse, I have been- I have talked with Sega of America, and they have verified for me that is a full-fledged [[Sonic|SONIC THE HEDGEHOG]] GAME! Not a [[Sonichu]] game. And besides, 2D, I mean [[Sonichu Adventure]], I mean I got so many more story arcs in there than meets the eye, yes—I mean multiple character switches and I have all the story plots, I'm—I have all the story plots in my head, and ON PAPER. On paper. Including like, you know, "Hey, whatever happened to Wild Sonichu's scyther(?) father?" He gets kidnapped a long time ago. You know? He gets kidnapped. And then Sonichu actually—and then Wild Sonichu actually goes and find him. And Bubbles is on her way to an amusement park. W—uh... Angelica goes to defend her church. Punchy is out for a new challenge, and Magi-chan, I'm not sure about him yet. And Sonichu's is out to's-is out for a challenge that he's-he's accepted the challenge from wha-m-from.. Metal Sonichu. As it would appear in the beginning of the books beyond number eleven! Number eleven! The stories would begin beyond—from book number ELEVEN! And nobody has those stories! Only I have those stories, so no video game can ever be created without my own power! My own [[Wikipedia:Swill|swill]], my own super, my own-h-HONEST TO GOODNESS SUPERVISION!

[''Chris turns, the massive physical exertion causing him to pant'']

So take it so take it for real: I AM THE REAL DEAL! I am Christian Weston Chandler. Alias Christopher. And nobody can ever impersonate me for real. Or even my hand-drawing style. And everything that you would get... that they can obviously put—is they could get—is again the only off the internet. It's not a real original hand draw-it's not original hand drawings. I mean, does that look like a printout to you? No! It's a HAND DRAWING! It's the original hand drawing of the back cover I constantly used! Among all the other hand drawings on my SHELF! In my BINDERS! IN THIS ROOM! In this house! So get with the program, people!

[''cut'']

And also, all videos that are currently on YouTube that may say cont—that may say the contrary about the video game rumors, they s—about them being true, but when they-rin-reality FALSE! The damn rumors! I mean I have read on 4 M's dot [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] dot com, that's right I KNOW IT! DAMN TROLLS! I'VE READ YOUR LINES! And I know that you're pixellating fake game screenshots and images and videos.... You're so busted. YOU'RE so busted. And you are in the wrong and you will be damned to hell! ESPECIALLY YOU [[Vivian G]]! D, Vivian G, D! Just like [[The Simpsons|Sideshow Bob would say to Bart in that one episode]] that he had on his frontside.<ref>In The Simpsons episode "Cape Feare", Sideshow Bob is seen with a tattoo on his chest saying "Die Bart Die." During a parole hearing, Bob explained the tattoo as being German for "The Bart The". Once more, Chris has stolen a joke, misunderstood it completely, butchered it horribly, and taken it so far out of context that it makes no sense to almost everybody.</ref> Anyway, aside from all that, I repeat: DO NOT BUY ANYTHING OFF THE INTER- off the uh websites, you are being scammed! There is no Sonichu video game, yet!

The unu-un [''stutters''] and also, a-any a-all official updates about when the official merchandise will be officially released under my own power and supervision, as well as the video game's creation, will be posted on the offi—on the original official Sonichu site, which is also known as [[CWCipedia]]!

[''Off camera, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] comes in and says "Hey, love! Just checkin' to see if you were home!"'']

We'll be back in a moment.

==Notes==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[10 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[Clyde Cash the kid video]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-13]]

Mailbag 39

2013-11-09T12:03:25Z

Thsprppr: Update

'''Mailbag 39''' was added to the [[CWCipedia]] on 12 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] started answering it on the same day as the fourth and final part of his Mailbag Marathon which started with [[Mailbag 36]]. He got halfway through before quitting in order to [[12 January 2010#Part 2|scream into his camera]] and (presumably) crash into slumber. He answered the rest on 15 January 2010.

Chris's habit of deleting e-mails without saving backups hit a fever pitch in this one.

It should also be noted that Chris has replied to Molly's question (would you have sex with a prostitute) with "no comment". In one of the previous Mailbags, Chris stated that he wanted his first time to be True and Honest. It's odd how he didn't have a similar answer to Molly's question. This might have been the early signs of Chris eventually becoming desperate enough to lose his virginity to a whore.

Chris is also not as big a Family Guy fan as he claims to be, as in the episode asked about, it is hinted at that Meg's future is not changed and she will still get a sex change.

==Answered==
===Either God is a liar, or Chris is===
{{Email|From: wineman.the.actor@gmail.com

Hey Christian,

I've been running a youth fan club up in a Montanan [[Methodist]] Church, but I was thinking of disbanding it. The other day we had a kid sent to time out because she called stupid. When asked why she said that, she said that [[Chris and religion|god]] told Chris and [[Ivy]] that they were destined to be together, but then never met up in the [[comic]], and then she died (in a very gross manner). then she said that God spent so much energy on that and not on turning [[Silvana]] to normal, which would've turned her good and probably spare a few lives. She then asked why God did that?

She has a good point, Mr. Chandler. Why do you have God do such stupid things? And why did you have god bind the two together if Chris would later mary some woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and then cheat on her with Meg? And then, as a Christian man you shot a person and killed thousands by making a building crumble.

Tomorrow we are having a vote in the next few days on what to do: A. We stay with your comic B. We abandon the fan club C. We begin following [[Asperchu]].

Some of us think he's original, some of us believe that he is a [[parody]], but we all agree his comic is well written and focused more on a kind and Christian character.

Do you have anything to say before we vote (my recommendation is you ignore Asperchu and focus on why you seem to make a mockery of god)

Yours in God

Nick}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, that me and Ivy thing, it was REAL for a time, but THEN SHE DID DIE FOR REAL. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THAT? Draw MYSELF DYING and loving her in Heaven? A: Stay with me, I will do better, I promise. B: Do not abandon your Fan Club. C: Forget that Thing; HE IS a parody.}}

===In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Chris,

Thanks for all of your great answers! I talked to my wife about it and let her know what you said. She still wasn't entirely happy about my son going to an escort service, but she agreed that it was time to let go. We are planning on taking Mike Junior to an escort service tomorrow! We found one that gives their women constant checkups and testing. They've e-mailed us with all of the records and they'll give my son a lineup of beauties to choose from!

My son is understandably nervous about his first time and he wanted to know if you had any tips for him. He wanted to know if you had any pickup lines that he could use. Any advice that you could give him would be much appreciated! I know he reads this, so I know he'd be thrilled if you could answer this.

Afterwards my wife and I were planning on having a small celebration about my son having his first time. It would just be an informal party with only his best friend and one or two other people. Do you think it would be appropriate to have this at our local O'Charley's or should we spring for someplace nicer? Where do you think we should take him? Would it be ok to have a cake telling him congratulations for his first time?

Thanks again,

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I'm glad to hear some good news (for a change at the moment). My advice for your son is just to be himself; use a condom for just in case; let HER lead and follow. I offer my personal congratulations and wish y'all good luck and God's blessings. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris calls someone an arrogant idiot without irony===
{{Email|From: Jason Rothell <metalpencil@gmail.com>
Dear Chris:

Why do you think it's terrible when someone uses [[Sonichu]] in their webcomic? Why are they horrible people? Did you not use [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]]'s character before in the Sonichu comic? Also, isn't [[Simonla]]'s development based on someone else's creation and you still use her in your webcomic even though the original artist has begged you not to? I don't understand how this makes you any different... please explain this to me and I will remain a TRUE, LOYAL and HONEST fan!

Jasonla}}
{{EmailReply|It is terrible when they use my Sonichu and WRONGFULLY Portray him in ANYTHING [[homos|HOMOSEXUAL]]; IT IS JUST WRONG and AGAIN MISLABELING, and I will not stand for that. I Offered that Simona and Simonchu be Brother and Sister; Evan is still being an arrogant idiot towards me.}}

===Parents of a celebrity===
{{Email|From: Anthony Thiest <rationalparagon@yahoo.com>
Hey Chris, what's zappenin? I've been wondering, what do your parents think of Sonichu, the character and the comic? Do they read every issue you put out? I bet they brag to their friends about it, I know I would. What do they think about you achieving the internet fame that you have? Is it hard for them to live with a celebrity?

Keep zappin!

Anthony}}
{{EmailReply|My parents like the comic series. Not really. They do not have too many friends to brag to, plus they mostly stay at home. I am a celebrity, yet I am still a person. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===The internet never forgets===
{{Email|From: It's [[Wikipedia:Gendo Ikari|Gendo]] <shinji.you.suck@gmail.com>

At some point in your life, you were told to memorize a sequence of nine numbers. These numbers, much like the [[Sonichu Balls]], unlock great opportunity in life -- as long as you remember what they are, of course. Your TRUE and LOYAL fanbase knows you have some trouble memorizing numbers, though. Why not put it on the internet? The internet never forgets anything. This might help you out later...

Gendo}}
{{EmailReply|I will take that under great consideration.}}

===Weed===
[[Image:DutchGuy.jpg|thumb|Portrait of a typical weed smoker.]]
{{Email|From: Marice

Dear Chris,

First of all, me and my friends am a big fan of Sonichu (I am still waiting for the official merchandise).

But one thing bothers me. Why are anti drugs statements made in the comics?
Im a Dutch fan, and am quite offended by this. We in the Netherlands smoke weed
(and it is legal). Drugs help people relax (because most people have busy lives/careers).
Also, we treat homosexuals like equals. and prostitution is legal. Which are both things you
and Sonichu don't like.

The Dutch fans would love a rectification of the whole anti-drug-, homo and prostitution matter, with
the message that "it is ok for Dutch people to be homo, do drugs, or visiting a prostitute,
as it is within the scope of the Dutch law" on the cwcipedia.
This would really encourage the Dutch (and any other progressive European countries for that matter) to keep reading the comics.

Greetings!

A Dutch Sonichu fan.

Picture of myself included, as a fan. For me, for you.}}
{{EmailReply|The statements are made, because I, Personally, am AGAINST those Drugs AND Homosexuality.}}

===Sure, all you have to do is quit the internet forever===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>

Chris-chan. Chris-chan.

This is the voice of your conscience baby...I just wanna check one thing out with you. You don't mind?

Chris-chan, honey, what's got into ya?}}
{{EmailReply|Oh, I don't know. How about a bunch of PEOPLE asking me OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS and making OFFENSIVE STATEMENTS constantly, CONTINUING TO MISLABEL ME and MY SONICHU WRONGFULLY, Trolls putting up OFFENSIVE ADVERTISEMENT IMAGES on MY Cwcipedia WITHOUT MY CONSENT, CONTINUALLY BEING RIDICULED AND TORMENTED. Can't I just be left be to draw Peacefully and NOT be OFFENDED, PICKED ON, MISLABELED, or TORMENTED, PLEASE?!!!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===That's not what he's talking about===
{{Email|From: Sonny

Chris, I have a question.

You claim to respect women, but why is all of the (highly inappropriate) nudity in the comic geared towards men?

I know you don't want to turn women gay, y'know. So why haven't you put an equal portion of female-directed (highly inappropriate) nudity into the comic?

Not that it matters to me, because Alec doesn't bother with that disgusting shit in the first place (not turned on by hedgehog sex at all) and it greatly improve the quality of his comic as opposed to yours.}}
{{EmailReply|COME ON!!! BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?}}

===Because guys should never have fun with other guys===
[[Image:Joyboys.JPG|thumb|Not creepy at all.]]
{{Email|From: John Simpkins <joyofchristjoy@gmail.com>
Hello from a faithful reader!

I was reading the latest issue of Sonichu to my son, (a practice fast becoming tradition in my family!), and we both ended up quite taken by your idea of Christian Love Day. It's values of unbridled platonic friendship have truly touched our souls, and needless to say my family will join in the celebration! We're basing our festivities around your favorite things, so we plan on spending the day watching Family Guy, drinking refreshing Pepsi and eating some fine [[Wikipedia:Soggy biscuit|soggy biscuits]].

I have also gone to the trouble of making a "friendship card", which will be passed around to my church group and my sons' preschool in order to spread the word - I just want to get your approval on the design first! I've attached it to this email - on the inside I plan on putting one of your many sage quotes along with a link to the cwcipedia.

Please let me know what you think!

God bless and have a nice day.}}
{{EmailReply|Celebrating the day is nice. Yet, and I mean no offense, but your card is NOT GOOD; To promote Platonic Relationships, FEMALES need to be in there PLAYING WITH EACH MALE. Please correct the error. PLUS, PLEASE REMOVE that [[Asperchu]]; HE IS NOT MINE! Plus, DO NOT MAKE ANY CHARACTER LOOK [[retarded|RETARDED]]. I am sorry.}}

===Whores whores whores===
{{Email|From: Molly Trasi <trasirose@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Would you ever choose to have sex with a prostitute? If so, did you realize that it is illegal and you could end up in jail for a long time? Would you be uncomfortable knowing that she didn't really care about you at all and was just doing it for the money?
Sincerely,

A worried fan}}
{{EmailReply|No comment.}}

===No, I'm pretty sure that's Sonichu===
{{Email|From: Mandy Higgins <mariokart360@rocketmail.com>

I'm a big fan of Sonichu and Asperchu. My favorite Asperchu comic is the one where he teams up with Sonichu. Will you be doing a Sonichu comic where Sonichu meets and teams up with Asperchu any time in the near future? That would be way past cool.}}
{{EmailReply|Asperchu IS NOT MINE, and I do not and will not ever associate with him whatsoever, because he is such a retardedly-drawn and homosexually-portrayed piece of crap.}}

===Improvisation===
{{Email|From: Jose Luis Castillo Del Real <olan_montalvo@yahoo.es>

Hi Chris:

I love your sonichu comics, i was wondering how can you come up with new ideas for them always? it must be hard to find the inspiration for a new plot. I also want to start a comic someday, but i find difficult to develop a story.

anyways, keep it up with the amazing job! i'll be cheering you :D}}
{{EmailReply|Most of the time, I have the ideas in advance, yet at other times, I come up with something on-the-moment.}}

===Rosechu the transwoman===
{{Email|From: vhenderson@teachers.org

To Mr. Christian Weston Chandler,

Hello, Mr. Chandler. I am an [[English]] teacher at a small junior high school in Middle Tennessee, and I sponsor the school's chapter of the Gay/Straight Alliance. Over the winter break, I had a student make mention of your comic in an email as a topic for future discussion once class resumes. Upon review of your comic, I have found it to be most worthy of discussion. Your portrayal of transsexuals and hermaphrodites is very interesting. The character [[Rosechu]], for instance, fascinates me. Despite the labeling of being a female Raichu, I have gleamed from my research that she was actually a male Raichu, based on the pointedness of her tail. Then s/he was struck by a rainbow, transforming him/her into a lovely feminine being. This metaphor delights me! It is a very sensitive and positive portrayal of the struggle that transpeople endure when trying to determine and claim their identity. It is wonderful that you have allowed this character to find love and acceptance with a man, which is so often difficult in the real world. I have students who know the pain of being born into the body, and I am sure this will hearten them greatly. In addition, the character [[Magi-chan]] warms my heart in his obvious attraction to the character Silvana, even though she possessed the "wrong" genitalia at the time. The fact that he could see past the outer shell and to the person within is very sweet.

I must say though, that I object to Rosechu's characterization. She is a very stereotypical portrait of a transwoman, obsessed with maintaining her femininity to the point of ridiculousness. It is a tired cliche and an insult to all woman that their lives revolve around solely around their family and their vanity. In the future, I would like to see Rosechu develop interests outside her home and maxing out her credit card and become a better role model for young people struggling with their identities.

With deepest respect,

Ms. Veronica Henderson}}
{{EmailReply|LISTEN!!! READ PAGE 3 OF BOOK #1, IT SAYS CLEAR AS DAY THAT THE RAICHU WAS A '''GIRL RAICHU'''. There is NOTHING Transgender WHATSOEVER ABOUT ROSECHU, you MISLABELING, MISUNDERSTOOD INDIVIDUAL. She acts the way she dose is because she has ALWAYS BEEN FEMALE!!! I am so DAMN sick and tired of these Misunderstandings and Mislabelings!!! THIS IS A STRAIGHT COMIC SERIES AND SONICHU AND ROSECHU ARE STRAIGHT!!!!!!}}

===If he gave this response to every e-mail, he would actually be honest===
{{Email|From: coldpartjunior@yahoo.co.jp

Hi Chris I am a big fan from Japan & I was wondering if you could kill
anyone in the world who would it be and why? You can pick more than one
person.}}
{{EmailReply|I do not know.}}

===To be continued===
{{Email|From: Christie Savarin <virtualinsanitybangbangjam@yahoo.com>

Herro!

Dear Chris,

I read Sonichu for long long time,I have so many questions! so sorreh!
 1)If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the friend zone? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?
 2)Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?
 3)If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you?
 4)Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed every game you played.
 5)If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?
 6)Why do you like the name "Reginald" so much?
 7)Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?
 8)Why did you get rid of asexuality in [[Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single?
 9)In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your gay fans left you?
 10)Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so?
 11)If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?
 12)Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?
 13)You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?
 14)Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?
 15)Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?
 16)Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?
 17)Do you have any friends in the [[Autistic]] community?

tanks 4 answerin!}}
{{EmailReply|I'll come back to you the next time I am answering a mailbag.}}
''On 15 January 2010, Chris lazily answered:''
{{EmailReply|Your Questions will be copied/pasted and Answered in the [[Common Questions|FAQ Section]]; please look there for your answers. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Chris originally linked "FAQ Section" to his answered questions page. We have re purposed the link to go to our mirror of that page.''

===Dude, chill===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Chang Yu-sheng|Chang Yu]] <drchangyu@yahoo.ca>
Dear Chris,

In an earlier response to a fanmail , you mentioned you had a simularity to the character played by Dustin Hoffman in the film Rain Man. Would you kindly mind listing your facinating abilitys? My daughter is autistic and a very big fan of your work, she has a gift with law and agues extreemly well in her law class, but unfortunately her speech impediment prevents some from understanding her. She wanted to ask you herself, but she has trouble writing and could not without my help.

FONDest regards

Chang Yu}}
{{EmailReply|I can not say right now, because I am stressed from having to CORRECT AND REEDUCATE PEOPLE ON ROSECHU BEING ALWAYS FEMALE AND SONICHU BEING STRAIGHT AND ASPERCHU NOT BEING MY CHARACTER!!!}}

===In which Chris fakes sorrow===
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com

Dear CWC,

Well, you probably remember my 5 year old son, right?

The one who screamed and cried because his favourite characters weren't in the comic?

The one who NEARLY JUMPED IN FRONT OF A BUS BECAUSE OF IT?

Little Jimmy's basically catatonic now, he has to go to a therapist everyday and i don't know what to do

Dearly seeking your advice,

Sincerely

Sarah Lutt}}
{{EmailReply|I am sorry for your child's dilemna. I do not know either at the moment.}}

===In which Chris dives deep into denial===
{{Email|From: Uava <uava.lidelduhk@gmail.com>

So in a recent comic you met up with Meg from Family Guy and you clearly like her. However, according to Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, she gets a sex change later on and becomes a male named Ron. You could say that Stewie changing the future would have prevented but at the end she meets a guy named Ron and hints that she likes that name. Also, transsexuals can't be changed according to most psychologists and the only way to make them feel happy is to let them to transition to their true gender.

You are obviously not a homosexual, so I was wondering what you will do about this situation when it comes up.}}
{{EmailReply|That was ONE possible Future, and IT was CHANGED after Stewie stopped the tower from falling. Meg never gets a gender change EVER.}}

===CRASH INTO SLUMBER===
{{EmailReply|**I am so tired from all the stress. Will resume answering soon.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Chris resumed answering letters in the very early hours of 16 [[January 2010]].

===Chris plans for the future===
{{Email|From: Faye Dexter <ecksdeexter@gmail.com>

You've said before that the job you most see yourself in is an "Office Job". I was wondering what you meant by that. There are many types of office jobs and they can be very different. For example: secretary and CEO positions can both be considered office jobs but they are very different. Your job would also depend on what the company does. For example: A web design company and a law firm are both office oriented companies but a law firm needs lawyers and paralegals(basically lawyer assistants) and a web design company would need programmers and graphic designers.

Just curious what your goals are.}}
{{EmailReply|Granted in what you have described, I am currently uncertain of my goals there at the moment. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason===
{{Email|From: Tran

Chris, please explain why you think Asperchu is crap.

Rules:

1. Do not use "It mocks me and my creation", as that is what a [[parody]] is supposed to do. I mean, Alec has said many times that he respects you, so it's really a benevolent(that means kindhearted, look it up) parody.

2. Do not just say "JUST LOOK AT IT" or "IT IS BAD". You need to tell us what you think of it and why. We are not mind-readers, we need details.}}
{{EmailReply|Because it is being '''WRONGFULLY shoved into my face constantly against my will,''' like if I was shackled to a chair in a Locked Windowless Room with some naked homosexual dude, and I had to endure him being in my face against my will.

That Is A NIGHTMARE to me, EVEN WORSE than the nightmare I had where I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, going through BURNING OVENS, coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Shemales and man-tits===
{{Email|From: Desiree Flood <mammy2shoes@gmail.com>

Hey Chris, Laura here!

I've been reading a lot of your comic <s>as well as the AWESOME spinoff, Asperchu. I don't know why people can't just read and LOVE both.</s> Anyway, I have two questions.

1. It looks like you got "trolled" in your comic by Silvana! Did you have sex with her?! If so how did that even work? Did you put your penis in her butt? I know it LOOKED like meg, but she still had a penis!!! Would you ever have sex with a shemale?

2. You've also made mention of your breasts in your last video! I myself have had several kids and have found breast feeding to be an enlightening and emotional experience. When you have kids do you plan on breast feeding your kids?

Stay cool!

Laura}}
''Chris added the strikeouts because that's just what Chris does.''
{{EmailReply|Firstly, '''Asperchu is NOT MINE, it belongs ONLY to Alec Benson Leary, I AM NOT ASSOCIATED WITH EITHER HE OR HIS CHARACTER WHATSOEVER.''' You are '''SEVERELY WRONG''' to even call HIS comics a "Spin-off" from MINE.

Second, to answer your questions. 1) No, I did not have sex with Silvana; ONLY MAKING OUT. When Silvana takes the form of an ALL-Female individual, its dick is GONE. 2) I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite. 3) Maybe my WIFE will breast-feed, but I was referring to MY Man-Boobs, of which Alec was WRONGFULLY EXAGGERATING on HIS D***ED Asperchu character.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===It's probably more like 12===
{{Email|From: Derp
Hi Chris, let me first say I'm a huge fan of your comics and have been reading them for 3 years now.

I was wondering this: do you ever have any homosexual feelings toward your [[father]]? Because I think it would be a good addition to your comic. Maybe a four-way between you, your dad, Sonichu and Asperchu? I think that would be yum.

Oh, and how many [[Sonee]] have you fucked? I say 6, my friend says 9.}}
{{EmailReply|NO, NO, NO!!! I AM STRAIGHT!!! QUIT MAKING OFFENSIVE COMMENTS!}}

==Gone Forever==
===Mass murdering does not strike me as terribly kind===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Puyo Puyo|puyopuyo]][[Wikipedia:Puyo Puyo Tsu|tsu]]@thegame.com
Hello Chris,

I am an ex-fan by the name of Arle Nadja. I became an ex-fan because recently, you showed signs of [[terrorism]] in your comic. When the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent-garbage]] building fell, how many people died Chris? More than 100 people died Chris, and by your hands. Just because they [[troll]]ed you it makes it ok to kill them? Well, bringing down a building for making fun of you doesn't make it less of a terrorism act. I remember about 15 years ago, I decided to bring down a building. It had 6 stories and at least 34 people died in the explosion and most, if not all, by my own bare hands. What I am trying to say is that your comic supports terrorism and it reminds me too much of my horrible past, and I cannot stand to see such a homophobic, racist, and unpatriotic character such as you still alive. P.S. I am a woman, and I can say without a doubt, you do NOT support my rights, and you're a freak for wanting to secretly tape you and you "future" girlfriend. It's not only wrong, it's illegal if she says no. I think I speak for all women when I say no girl will sleep with you.

From your "EX"-Fan,

Arle Nadja}}

===Kissing cousins===
{{Email|From: fagassfighter@gmail.com

Here's a website to wipe away your idiotic misconceptions on cousin marriage. Also, it's not forbidden in the Bible:

[http://tinyurl.com/y8h7hpr]

Have a nice day.}}

===Chris should just end it already===
{{Email|From: ninjakumquat@gmail.com

Hi Chris! Have you ever considered committing suicide? Yes, I am aware the Bible states that suicide is an unforgivable sin, but seeing as you are Christian Weston Chandler, I think God might let that one slide. ;)

Thanks for reading this humble missive, and remember not to feed [[Barb]] after midnight!

- Cadpig, Asperchu's #1 Fan}}

===See, it's funny because it's true!===
{{Email|From: jamie tyler <jamie.tyler112@gmail.com>

You're such a fucking dumbass, it is unbelievable. After over 30 mailbags, you still don't realize that. You're a fag, ugly, stupid, smelly piece of shit. You rip off everything you like, you make references to things that don't make sense ([[Captain's Log|Captains Log]]? [[Monthy Python]]?), you claim to be a Christian yet don't follow the Bible (you're for pre-martial sex but against cousin marriage? It's the reverse in the Bible lol) you are racist, sexist, egotistical, and overall, just one big pile of shit.}}

===Alec-Chan makes everything better===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan [[Asperchu]] <albasperchu@live.com>
Hello Christian,

You haven't responded to my previous letters, such as when I Asked you how ASPERCHU can be a parody of the Sonichu when ASPERCHU has the Aspergers, which is NOT linked to the autism that Sonichu has. But my disappointment in you for not Answering the Challenge as a true MAN would do is not why I write today. I write not with a sword, but with an Olive Branch, as I only wanted to show you the latest page of Issue #1 (My fifth issue!), in which I bring in the Chaotic Combo. It seems you have not featured the Combo much of late in your Sonichu comic, so I have taken the Combo to give them the limelight they so deserve.

Also, as Evan Christopher George asked you repeatedly to kill his character Simonlachu (as it is his character, only EVAN holds the copyright to use it), in despondent grief Evan came to me and asked for my help. I agreed to help him, and so I will be taking Simonlachu (who I have changed back into the original Simonchu, as Evan requested) to be in my ASPERCHU comic from here on out, to do with as Evan requests me to do. All further appearances of the Simonchu in your comic will thenceforth be either dreams, or hallucinations, or just NOT canon, just to let you know - I didn't want you to accidentally write Simonchu into your pages again thinking he was really there, which he will NOT be.

Take care,

Alec Benson Leary}}
''It should be noted that Chris deleted this e-mail the same night he [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|tried to communicate to Alec through his blog]]. It would seem that he didn't really want to talk after all.''

===Medical study===
{{Email|From: vidkun quisling <iheartthepope@hotmail.com>

Hey Christian!

It's great that you're answering fan mail now! I was wondering since you're going almost completely bald if you've ever considered drawing a bald Sonichu without any hair? What color would the skin underneath be?

I have also wondered if [[Sonichus]] can be born with any genetic diseases or abnormalities like Autism/[[Asperger's]], Progeria, Muscular Dystrophy, or Manic Depression. Do Sonichus get the same diseases as humans? Like the flu or the AIDS? Are people with the AIDS even allowed in [[CWCville]]?

Yours in Christ,

[[Wikipedia:Vidkun_Quisling|Vidkun Quisling]]}}

===On Chris's total lack of sorrow.===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Quincy Magoo|Magoo]]

Chris, here is how a normal apology goes:

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." This is without prompting.

You, on the other hand, need to be prompted into apologizing for insulting someone, and even then, we get this:

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, but I WAS PROVOKED! IT'S NOT MY FAULT, THEY MADE ME DO IT BLAH BLAH BLAH JACK THADDEUS BLAH CLYDE CASH BLAH KILL YOURSELVES peace"

Instead of accepting the blame, you try to shift it the moment you think you'll have to hold it.

Apoligies have no "buts", Chris.

Heck, we're going to quit even faster now.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Gal pal

2013-10-31T20:29:26Z

Thsprppr:

{{quote
|My circle of gal-pals was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for.
|Chris, [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]
}}

[[Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|thumb|right|200 px|Chris's gal pals at his [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]]. From left to right: [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Kellie Andes]], Friend Brought Along, [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]], Sarah Bevel, [[Tiffany Gowen]].]]

A '''gal pal''' or '''gal-pal''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for a female friend. Chris claims to have had a lot of these in [[Manchester High School|high school]]. Since then, he has been lamenting over the lack of gal-pals for over a decade.

==Chris and gal-pals==

Chris said, "in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over men."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref> He has always been hesitant towards making friends with males due to bad experiences with [[jerks]]. Perhaps because of this, he has adopted rather feminine traits and mannerisms (such as assuming the cowgirl sexual position in the [[sex tape]], or having a collection of [[My Little Pony|My Little Ponys]]), ignorant to the fact that what might be acceptable for girls would be considered taboo for guys.

In typical Chris style, he has managed to drive every single gal-pal away. He believes that due to all his gal-pals, he had his pick of which to turn into his [[sweetheart]] and that he missed out on this opportunity during [[high school]], oblivious that they probably associated with him out of pity.

It is also interesting to note that he never refers to girls as "friends", only "gal-pals". Usually, this phrase is used by women when talking about their social clique. Only [[gay]] men ever refer to female friends as "gal-pals", and even then, they're usually joking. Men talking about female companions will just say "friend", or "a girl who happens to be my friend" as opposed to a "girlfriend", because in English colloquy, the latter is implying a romantic relationship. The fact that Chris never thinks of girls around him as "friends" and repeatedly calls them "gal-pals" (which he probably thinks is cute, him being "one of the girls") reasserts his [[women's rights|sexism]]. He doesn't see the women in his life as equals and companions, he sees them as possible [[china]].

==Notable gal-pals==

* [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]
* [[Virginia Sanford]]
* [[Laura Beth Dorazio]]
* [[Kellie Lyn Andes]]
* [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen]]
* [[Anna McLerran]]
* [[Megan Schroeder]]
* [[Sarah Jackson]]
* [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]]
* [[Ivy O'Neil]]
* [[Kacey Devoria]]
* [[The Wallflower]]
* [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]

==Other gal-pals==
===Tiffany Robinson===
'''Tiffany Robinson''' was a friend of Chris in the days he lived in [[Richmond]]. She was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words, "we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days."

===Natasha Turner===
'''Natasha Turner''' was a friend Chris met at [[Providence Middle School]], and who was slightly older than him. He felt very fond of her, and they were next-door neighbors for a while, often hanging out at the bus stop near their homes.

===Sarah Anne Bevel===
[[File:0484-CWC18th15.jpg|thumb|'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' (in green, on the right) and '''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' (in black, next to her).]]
'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' was Chris's classmate at [[Manchester High]]. She had a sweetheart there named Brian Smart. Chris recalls hearing that they broke up some time in the [[2000s]].

In a [[Facebook]] post dated 12 September 2013, Chris lamented how Sarah claimed to have no longer known him, despite apparently being one of his "Closest Friends".<ref>https://i.imgur.com/pdioxYY.png</ref>

===Molly Quarles===
'''Molly Quarles''' was a cheerleader (the same year as Laura Beth Dorazio) during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. Chris recalls being matched up in a "dating match-up thing" they had every Valentines Day at Manchester High. According to Chris it was ''"the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then."''

===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===
'''Miranda Joyce Mitchell''' was a girl with whom Chris shared a few classes. According to Chris, she was "a big brain of my Circle of Friends." Miranda, or "Maranda" as she was dubbed by Chris,<ref>[http://classic-web.archive.org/web/20010217092458/http://homepages.go.com/~christianchandler/pokste2.htm CWC's Pokésite 2!]</ref> helped our hero out in his early website creating days by redesigning the [[CWC's PokéSite 2!]] logo.

==Betrayal==
On 30 October, 2013, Chris [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|posted on Facebook]] about a recent discovery that all of his cherished gal-pals from [[Manchester High School]] had only put up with him out of pity for him.

{{quote
|I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a lost little boy. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't really hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to his 18th birthday party.
|[[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|An e-mail from one of Chris's "friends"]]
}}

Of course, this comes as a surprise to no one except Chris, as the [[Anna_McLerran|vast]] [[Kim Wilson|majority]] [[Vivian_Gee|of]] his gal-pals have indeed been [[White_knight|white knights]] trying to protect him.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Gal Pals 1
Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|Gal Pals 2
Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|Gal Pals 3
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Sonichu's Edge

2013-10-05T02:49:28Z

Thsprppr: Less awkward wording

[[Image:Mirror's Edge.jpg|thumb|left|The truth about the video title]]
[[Image:Parkay.jpg|thumb|Chris wishes he were eating this instead]]
[[Image:Sonichu's Edge.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

"'''Sonichu's Edge'''" (officially "'''Sonichu's Edge.MP4'''") is a video uploaded on 3 [[December 2009]], in which [[Chris]] goes "[[Father Call|jogging]]". The title is a not-too-subtle [[parody]] of the 3-D platformer ''[[Wikipedia: Mirror's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]''.

Based on the accompanying [[3 December 2009|Captain's Log]], he made this to show that he is "pumped up for [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|pushing Sonichu out into merchandise]]." This video proves that Chris has no idea what "jogging" is. He is sprinting (for him) in this video, obviously missing the point of jogging (a slow, easy run). Chris inserts obvious jump cuts at 1:30, 1:58, 2:25, 3:00, 3:22 and 3:42, where he's run out of breath and needs a break due to how [[Chris and health#Exercise|out of shape he is]].

Chris calls his running "[[Wikipedia:Parkay|Parkay]]", confusing the acrobatic sport [[Wikipedia:Parkour|parkour]] with squeezable margarine, as well as "light jogging" with "parkour" in general.

One can only imagine what the innocent citizens of [[Charlottesville]] must have thought as a fat, sweaty retard went puffing by at a little over walking pace with a camera dangling from his obese neck.

An email in [[Mailbag 16#Parkay analysis|Mailbag 16]] pointed out that Chris ran about 579 yards (529 meters) in three and a half minutes, at a snail's pace of 2.8 m/s (6 mph / 10 km/h), nowhere near the 5 miles (8 km) he claimed. Chris seems unable to estimate measurements of length and time.

Chris has [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris lies about how much he can run|declined to record another running video]], blaming the battery in his camera.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu's Edge
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AJn_UE3kTrM}}
| stardate = 3 [[December 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[3 December 2009]]
| next = [[Holiday Greetings]]
}}
{{quote|There may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my breath. Of course that's what you expect, even from the best runner.}}

=== Transcript ===

[''Brandishes [[Amnyfest Ring]]''] Hello there, [[fans]]! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown [[mall]], where for the [[Sonichu]] franchise and city of [[CWCville]], and everything like that, I'm gonna do [[Chris and English|a Parkay]] from this point [''camera spins around to show some sidewalks''] all the way down to the gara—parking garage [''Camera spins back to Chris''] where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held. And for this viewing, the camera will be hung around my neck right about here. [''Gestures to the [[Sonichu medallion]]''] To get—see what I see from that point of view. And, also, uh, there may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my—my breath. [[Obesity|Of course that's what you expect]], [[Chris and reality|even from the best runner]].

[''Jump cut. Camera is now apparently hanging around Chris's neck. Chris's hand comes into frame for a second for him to flash the Amnyfest Ring.'']

Alright, here we go!

'''0:42-1:20''' Chris begins running, relatively slowly. His path seems to be pretty erratic. Breathing can be faintly heard.

'''1:21-1:30''' Chris enters a populated area. Though the jerky camera makes it difficult to see, several people seem to stop and stare at him. At 1:28, Chris's heavy breathing becomes audible.

'''1:31-1:44''' First jump cut. For those keeping score, Chris stops to rest after forty-eight seconds of jogging. He continues through the shopping center, his hands occasionally coming into frame.

'''1:45-1:46''' Chris goes in between some trees.

'''1:47-1:58''' Chris's breathing starts becoming heavy again.

'''1:59-2:15''' Second jump cut. Chris runs past a happy couple, and then runs down some stairs.

'''2:16-2:25''' Chris passes by a large [[Christmas]] tree. Around 2:20, his movement begins to slow down considerably.

'''2:26-2:33''' Third jump cut.

'''2:34-2:41''' Relaxing [[guitar]] music fades in and out as Chris passes a band of street musicians.

'''2:42-2:54''' Chris continues onwards.

'''2:55-3:00''' Chris runs past a small bus.

'''3:01-3:16''' Fourth jump cut. Chris runs through some decorative trees.

'''3:17-3:21''' Chris rounds a corner, and approaches an open door.

'''3:22-3:32''' Fifth jump cut. Chris is now inside a building. He trudges up some stairs, clearly walking.

'''3:33-3:42''' Chris passes someone going in the opposite direction. He continues upwards.

'''3:43-3:50''' Sixth jump cut. Chris apparently reaches the 4th floor and exits a door into the blinding sunlight.

'''3:51-4:10''' Chris is now on the top level of a parking structure. He runs across the parking area. Around 4:05 his breathing becomes very heavy. At 4:10, he reaches his destination. The camera shows a large tented area on the ground far below.

See? Amphitheater. [''Camera spins around back to Chris, who flashes the peace sign''] Thank you for your [[trolling|continued support]]!

==Remixes==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu's Edge
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eGKCSS-QUkE}}
| stardate = 4 [[December 2009]]
| maker = IBAClydeCash
| subject = Sonichu's Edge
| type = (VG) Parody
| info = Replaces Faith with [[Chris]].
}}

==See also==
*[[3 December 2009]]

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=104235379233340359048.000479de54a1731a2b512 Chris's Route as detailed by Google Maps]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N1TJP1cxmo What Chris is failing to imitate]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuqRS3KVnQs CWC Doodle- Parkay]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[3 December 2009]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings]]|}}
{{Power videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-03]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2009-12-03]]

Template:Da update

2013-09-08T01:52:51Z

Thsprppr:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*7 September 2013 - Chris makes a [[Facebook#God_Trolls_Chris_Yet_Again|Facebook post]] about how God made him scratch a woman's car in a parking lot.
*6 [[2013#September|September 2013]] - Chris makes a post on [[Facebook#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|Facebook]] about how he has now been banned from Wal-Mart for vandalizing an Xbox One sign with a permanent marker.
*5 September 2013 - Chris's court information about the [[28 October 2011]] incident is updated. It seemed that Chris had been sentenced to 30 days confinement last year but the sentence was suspended and Chris paid a $247 fine instead.
*4 September 2013 - Chris posts a 1-star review of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] on [[Facebook#The_Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School_Review|Facebook]], claiming that "The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life".
*3 September 2013 - Chris whines to one of his friends on [[Facebook#14.2C386.2C443_out_of_a_possible_10|Facebook]] about his [[stress]], [[trolls]] and more, claiming that his blood pressure went up because of them.
*2 September 2013 - Chris posts on [[Facebook#Offline_Troll.2FBully|Facebook]] cursing a [[Manajerk]], Rob Bell, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Megan Schroeder]]. On the same day, Chris likes the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dQx6DenaXc Equestria Girls - Official Live Action Music Video (The Magic of Friendship)] on [[YouTube]].
*1 September 2013 - Chris posts on [[Facebook#Ten_A_Piece_For_Rainbow_Dash_And_Applejack|Facebook]] about his favourite ponies in [[My Little Pony]].
*27 [[2013#August|August 2013]] - Chris posted on [[Facebook#Losing Friends|Facebook]] about suffering from stress due to various reasons. On the same day, he updates his Facebook photo.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Mailbag 51

2013-08-01T12:39:56Z

Thsprppr:

'''Mailbag 51''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 31 [[January 2010]], with this mailbag uploaded by the sysop, instead of by Chris (as in Mailbag 50). It was answered on 1 [[February 2010]]. Remarkably, Chris did not edit, delete, or "reject" a single email. This was the last Mailbag Chris answered before the CWCipedia was taken down by a legal challenge from [[Evan|Evan George]]. He wouldn't manage to upload any more responses until two weeks later.

Highlights from this mailbag include Chris demanding delicious cell phones, in exchange for actual answers, blaming the FCC for his determination to show sex to children, and makes some vague promises of issue eleven being some sort of insane combination of a reboot and a clip show.

Two weeks after Chris originally answered this Mailbag, he went back and heavily edited the second message in a futile attempt to cover up some of his homophobic remarks.

==Answered==

===Chris defends stealing exact lines of dialogue by stealing exact lines of dialogue===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]] <gilsemailaddy@yahoo.com>
You call yourself a "creative genius." Creative geniuses come up with completely original ideas all on their own. You, however, borrow everything in your comic from other sources. Sonic, Pokemon, Transformers, Family Guy...every bit of your comic comes from somewhere else. You even copy exact lines of dialogue from these sources. This is not being a creative genius.

If you could come up with something all on your own, without including things you saw elsewhere, what would it be? I think it would be interesting see a CWC production of a comic that didn't steal anything from other comics, TV shows, or games.

--Gil}}
{{EmailReply|I stand by my work.

And when YOU actually invent the [[Cleveland Show|Edible Cell Phone]], the iRitz; give me a call on your cracker, then eat the phone, and I'll answer the question better.}}

===Working on it===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, your recent video is still inadequate.

You did not apologize for the threats you made against Alec, and you made it obvious that you only want to apologize to get something you want--apologies need to be selfless in order to count(that means you can't ask for anything in return).

appearing to be rude?

And you didn't just "seem to be" rude, you WERE rude.

Editing SOME letters? Overall, you've edited or deleted around seventy letters. That's not "Some". At least twice you deleted half a mailbag.

Don't like it when people criticize you? Too bad, that's what fame does. Suck it up and accept it.

Able to take criticism to a certain point? So that means you can't handle it. All TRUE artists know that they have to take criticism seriously.}}
{{EmailReply|I am working hard on improving my acceptance of harshest criticisms.}}

===ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off===
{{Email|From: Stephany Miller <smokerchick1970@hotmail.com>
Hello, Christian

I have to admit I was rather dismayed that you deleted my email without so much as responding to it or even putting it in the Rejected Mailbag. However, I have seen your recent video and you make it apparent that you are willing to give "nice responses" instead of just refusing to acknowledge emails like a spoiled child. Since you have expressed concern that these emails have made you slow in the mind, I will try to explain my email so your autistic mind can understand it.

1. You have fooled for such a long time into believing Rosechu was female.
2. One method of your deception was naming the male Raichu from which Rosechu was created "Girl Raichu."
3. It is obvious that this Raichu was male because of its pointed tale. You have changed this but the original is still on your site.
4. You were so obsessive about Rosechu's femininity that it fooled a lot of your fans.
5. Having Rosechu's masculinity revealed in her offer of her pickle to Simonla is an interesting plot point.
6. It will be fascinating to see how this turns out.

Question: How will Rosechu's pickle affect her relationship with Sonichu. Is Sonichu a closet homosexual as I have suspected.

If you want to stop losing fans I suggest you respond to your fan's emails.

Stephany}}
{{EmailReply|1) I am Not fooling anyone; THE RAICHU WAS ACTUALLY ALL FEMALE. Your questions are unbiased, and outrageous. I WISH you would just ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off.}}

===Perspectives and all that===
{{Email|From: Derek Shinobu <derek_chu64@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler;

I have just stumbled upon your works pretty recently and offer my sincere criticism and advice.

Your art is colorful and sometimes amusing, Christian. However, it is also poor in a technical sense. Characters seldom remain a consistent size, your sense of perspective is skewed, and the panels are sometimes so crowded as well as badly laid out, that it becomes hard to follow what is happening.

While this can be excused in the case of a young child's artwork, you are a man twenty seven years of age with aspirations of doing this professionally. Am I right in saying that you wish to be a professional comic book writer/artist? There is a difference between child-like and childish.

Now, with all that being said, here's my advice. Why don't you go back to college and enroll in an art course or two? You would have to cut down on buying videogames and sex related paraphernalia, but if drawing is what you plan to do with your life, why not take it seriously and try to improve? If you're truly passionate about your art, a few hundred dollars every month should not be a big sacrifice for you.

I am fully aware there are professional artists out there that have never taken an art course, but if you are honest with yourself, Christian, you'll notice their art is on a different level from yours.

I truly believe that if you learn the basics, your art would improve a hundred-fold and silence all those critics who say you cannot draw better than a third-grader. Yes, you would have to swallow your pride and admit to yourself that your art is not as good as you thought, but Christian, no one gets better without first realizing they need to get better.

And think of the benefits. You would actually have something to wake up for everyday. You could start showering regularly. You could start socializing again. You would even know the correct date instead of being five days off like in your [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|last video]] (It's January 30th, Chris, not 25th). Just don't do silly things like spreading around a newsletter or wearing a sign, and try not to make the female students uncomfortable. Get out there into the world and make something of yourself, Christian Weston Chandler, before life passes you by completely.

Good Luck,
Derek}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and art|I have taken over 15 art classes]] in my lifetime, learned perspectives and all that. I stand by my work.}}

===He gives no care===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Notorious B.I.G.|Biggie]]
"How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+. A: 0-10"

Yeah, about that. According to the hit counter(that exists on all wikis), his front page has been accessed 61,774 times since it's creation a month or so ago(it counts multiple hits from the same person).

I don't think 1-10 fans could possibly manage that. Oh, and by the way, more than 10 people have sent letters talking about how much more they like Asperchu, so you're wrong.

Likewise, your front page has been accessed some 200,000 times over the last six months. Having 1,000,000+ fans cannot possibly generate this few hits.

You've probably got around 500 fans (You had around 3000, but Issue 10 knocked 2500 of them out of your circle and Asperchu was waiting to pull them in), and 3000 trolls. You're fairly irrelevant, actually.}}
{{EmailReply|I give no care to POLLS and such; I continue with my work, and answer my messages with tought. Give me a break.}}

===The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault===
{{Email|From: Leslie Triballo <lesliepony@yahoo.com>
Chris,

When you said, "Children will likely be seeing [panty shots and genitals] in real life, so mellow out and let them learn a bit," that's not your decision to make. That's up to the parents, and you are not the parents of the kids reading this comic. You claim this is a "TV-Y7" comic, but in order for a program to earn a TV-Y7 rating, certain things are not allowed at all. Depictions of sex and sexual organs are not allowed at all, even if censored. Innuendo is also not allowed at all. When parents let their kids watch something rated TV-Y7, they do so expecting it will not contain those things.

Your censored comic is much more like a TV-PG or TV-14 program. You need to make this known, or else a parent could sue you for exposing their child to filth and being dishonest about the rating.

--Leslie}}
{{EmailReply|Don't blame me, blame the FCC; they are letting up on their ratings and mellowing out.}}

===An invitation===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions."

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.}}
{{EmailReply|I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better.}}

===Chris pities someone===
{{Email|From: lovelyrainbow6@aol.com
Dear Chris,

My name is Kayla and as an asexual I saw that in one of your previous mailbags that you are ticked off by the asexual community. It bewilders me and I'd like to ask why does it bother you? Please respond. Have a great day.}}
{{EmailReply|Asexuals are [[Virgin with rage|Missing Out]] on the great things of Love and Romance; I am not ticked off at them, I pity and feel sorry for them.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:30, 2 February 2010 (CET)}}

===He might as well have ignored it===
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>
Your response based off of this: http://gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com/art/Sonichu-Remake-Issue-0-7-117026127
"Indeed, but it does not have the same Personality and Charm ONLY the Original Pages of Mine Have."

- - - - - -

Just because you drew it doesn't mean that it has "personality and charm."

That's like me saying, "just because I drew a stick figure it has more personality and charm than you painting of the Sistine Chapel."

I think his has more personality because it IS well planned and it practices composition and great visual verbal layout. His word bubbles are easier to follow and he practices paragraphs and topic structure. Plus he manages to improve upon your own story by providing a verbal structure that's easier to comprehend.

So I personally find his work has more depth and personality than yours currently does.

I would suggest taking drawing classes so your artwork can move beyond the grade-school stage and literary courses to improve your storytelling and plot construction.

Just some tips!

- - - - -

Please don't edit or ignore. :( I'm not trying to be mean, just honest.}}
{{EmailReply|Your point is well-taken.}}

===Seriously, what the hell is an overacting comedian?===
{{Email|From: Evan George <evang7@gmail.com>
I may be an "overacting comedian", but I'm a comedian with lawyers, kiddo.}}
''Chris failed to provide any sort of answer for this letter. This letter foreshadows the closing of the CWCipedia.''

===Yes he is===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Scott Bernard|Scott Bernard]] <marsbasesoldier@yahoo.com>
Christian,

So you say that you don't mind homosexuals and wouldn't mind associating with them, to wanting them to join the military to get killed in explosions. You are such a heartless bastard.

Just admit the fact you have always hated homosexuals, you've never meant anything positive you've said about them, you just said those things to make yourself look good.

But remember this, those "homos" that you hate with a passion, they are willing to die for their country, something you would never do. Those men are more man then you will ever be. You are nothing but a coward.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not a coward.}}

===A reboot is scheduled===
{{Email|From: Heso Pringles (eastcoastphillywhereyou@gmail.com)

Hey Chris, I think those people asking for a reboot of the Sonichu comic might be onto something, if only to cut down on the number of superfluous characters. There's nothing wrong with using one-off characters or villains (the Pokemon cartoon basically thrived on the Character of the Day formula), but it's another thing entirely when the characters in question show up to do absolutely nothing.

The example that sticks out in my mind are CWCville's Power Rangers. Not only did they get mentioned out of nowhere (they certainly would have been nice to have around back in Episode 13!), but they don't even appear in the episode at all! There is basically no point to characters like that; I bet you don't even know how they are supposed to look or act.}}
{{EmailReply|The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.}}

===Apologizing deeply===
{{Email|From: Cherry Greg (frog.out@hotmail.com)
Chris,

You created Rosechu in the early 2000s, while the gender changes were added to Pokemon sprites in 2007. All you had to do to quell the questions of Rosechu's gender is say that back when you started the comic, ALL Raichus had pointed tails, and that you would have certainly made sure to give her a rounded tail if those changes existed back then.

Instead, not only did you yell at your fans, and not only did you not do any sort of research into the subject, but you went out of your way to lie to us by altering an image to give the Girl Raichu a rounded tail, when in the unaltered image (that we can all still easily see, by the way) still has the pointed tail.

Chris, we're your fans, and some of us have been with you since 2007. I used to think everyone else was insane for saying they are not being a fan of Sonichu anymore, but if you keep treating us like enemies, I might start considering it as well.}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize deeply, and you have made the point in more accurate words I was looking for. Thank you.}}

==Revisionism==
On 14 February 2010, after the death and rebirth of the CWCipedia, Chris edited Keith Keithson's message, totally rewriting the quotation Keithson refers to. As a result, the message no longer makes the least bit of sense, and Chris's hatemongering is naturally still visible in the page's edit history. It's also still visible in [[Mailbag 49]], where Chris first made the comment that Keithson quoted. The edited message and response read as follows:

{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Obama should Repeal the policy, although gay, they each have their own abilities, knowledge and experience technologically, combatic or anything great in the heat of the bloody battles. '''Power to the Gays in the Army.'''"

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.}}.{{EmailReply|I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2013-07-09T07:57:34Z

Thsprppr: His attraction locations brought him success at some point?

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square.]]

[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|200px|Image from inside the mall.]]

'''Charlottesville [[Fashion]] Square''' is one of the original venues for [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] exploits. Like all of his "attraction locations", it hasn't done much for him, and his behavior at the mall has led to several run-ins with its management and security personnel.

The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic [[terrorist]] act.

==Chris and the Fashion Square==
It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] got its start.

It was there that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall.

Due to the misadventures Chris had there, this place holds a significant role in Christory. Say "Hi" to the manager [[ScotPalazzo]] should you ever visit!

==Chris vs. Fashion Square==
Chris has gotten himself into trouble at Fashion Square on a number of occasions over the years.

On 5 August [[2004]], according to [[CWC's Diary]], Chris's attempts to fish for a girlfriend with a [[Red String of Fate]] were cut short by a [[jerkop]] who destroyed that particular Love Quest accessory. A month later, on 6 September, he had another run-in with a security guard who was apparently treated to a rendition of Chris's "Lonesome Virgin story".

11 September 2004 saw Chris's first partial ban from the mall, forbidding him from returning without a parent to accompany him. His diary doesn't explain exactly why he was banned, but [[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]] dramatizes the day's events. Reading between the lines of the comic book version, Chris was loitering and soliciting with his [[Attraction Sign]], became belligerent with security, and was arrested and removed from the mall.

Chris was apparently able to return to the mall unaccompanied by the next spring. On 29 March 2005, the infamous date with Hanna took place, after which Chris emitted an anguished "NOOOOOOOO" that led him to being banned from the mall once again.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat#ban|Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie e-mails part 2#ban|Jackie E-mails - Part II]]</ref> [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] indicates that the ban (which again prevented Chris from going to the mall without a parent) was still in effect towards the end of 2008.

According to the reports of a field agent, Chris was seen 'sperging at the mall accompanied by his parents in the summer of 2010. Subsequently, on 31 August 2010, he was spotted (and filmed) hanging out at the mall alone. This suggests that either the bans have expired, or Chris has managed to [[Flipnote Hatena|evade yet another ban]].

In early 2012, Chris's leaked [[Facebook statuses]] revealed that he had returned to loitering at the mall on a regular basis. His "normal plan" at the mall, according to the leaks, is to "sit, hang and wait for a Ms. Right."

On 4 February, he managed to get himself in trouble again, by leaving flyers decrying [[Michael Snyder]] around the mall. A security guard found them and attempted to speak to Chris about them. Chris then fled the mall and drove away.

On 31 March, he managed to get himself in trouble for a second time this year, this time by yelling on his phone towards his trolls. Security guards came to confront Chris, but he ended up fleeing the mall once more.

On 28 April, Chris released a [[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D|Facebook message]] stating that, on the 25th of April, he had received the ban-hammer for getting angry in the mall when he answered some calls from the trolls.

==Chris captured on video==
On the last day of [[August 2010]], the same cameraman who spotted Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] posted this brief snippet on [[YouTube]], showing Chris slumped in a chair and staring creepily at a young woman at the mall.

Chris's [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Clyde Cash]] revealed that he was sitting around waiting to be rewarded for destroying his [[PS3]].

{{collapsible
|Another Rare Glimpse of Chris in Public.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When you see it...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1fvIvbUQ9_0}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2010
| Maker = 0ArchieBunker0
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by [[jerkop|mall security]] for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.simon.com/mall/charlottesville-fashion-square Official Website]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia Article]

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

A Sonichu Day

2013-06-06T12:10:00Z

Thsprppr: I feel it reads better this way

"'''A Sonichu Day'''" is a video uploaded on 24 [[December 2009]] in which [[Chris]] uses [[Lego]]-block minifigures to act out a cutesy-wutesy short play involving [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|screechy-voiced brood]]. It is the first major Lego-based production Chris has released (or been goaded to release) since [[The City of Cwicville Tour!]] in the [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]]. Keen observers may note that in the intervening years, despite years of improving his [[Chris and art|art skills]], Chris has completely lost his ability to make stop-motion animations. His [[writing]] is as abysmal as ever, and shows no sign of any planning having gone into the video. As for [[camerawork]], he doesn't seem to realize that his camera can't focus on figures held about an inch from the lens. The "stage" of the play is the cover of [[Sonichu 9]] (or a copy thereof), showing that Chris can't even treat his own work with care or respect.

It is worth noting that he thinks people spend their days doing "[[chores]]", and most of the "chores" he makes reference to in this video he has likely never once done, considered doing, or seen done in his lifetime, and has probably only heard of them from his parents or the television. Chris, through not having a job, also fails to understand that the majority of the population do not spend their days doing chores. How many times a week can Sonichu mow the grass anyway?

In this video we learn that on an average day, Sonichu gets up at 5 a.m. for no apparent reason (and Rosechu even earlier, as a [[sweetheart|dutiful wife]] should). Probably because Chris's [[biological clock]] is so confused that he has no idea when most functional members of society get up. Even the kids get the school bus at 5:00. It's also worth pointing out that Sonichu lets his under-age children watch Family Guy, an MA rated show.

Sonichu's role as a father is particularly emphasized in this video with dialogue like "Cuz he's a [[pedofork|big daddy]].... [[rape|He can take care of his children like that....]]" Chris is clearly fantasizing about maturity and reliability, which he [[Bob|erroneously]] believes to come with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|fatherhood]]. This is similar to how little girls play "mother and daughter" with baby dolls as a way of making adulthood (and eventual parenthood) into a game, and therefore, non-threatening.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = A Sonichu Day
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XdFJ7Q6Iuo4}}
| stardate = 24 [[December 2009]]
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{YellowRedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[20 December 2009]]
| next = [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]]
}}

{{quote|Fixing dinner, fixing dinner. Eating dinner. Nim, nim, nim-nim-nim. Okay, TV time! We're watching TV. Yay!}}

=== Transcript ===

Hello, [[fans]]! This here is a day in the life of Sonichu, using my Lego mini-figs, Sonichu and Rosechu obviously, among what other characters that will be made- that will be made introduced in the future- in the further of this- development of this video.

Okay so, start of the day, yeah, Sonichu's just getting up and Rosechu's in the [[Women's Rights|kitchen fixing breakfast]]. [[biological clock|It's about, uh, 5 AM.]] Yeah.

[''At this point, Chris starts acting out a story with his Legos, much like a 10-year-old might. Sonichu is voiced in Chris's normal voice, and Rosechu is voiced in a [[homos|gay]] falsetto.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Good morning, honey, how's it going?

'''Rosechu:''' Oh, pretty good, honey, you know, I'm just making breakfast for the childrens and y'all. Here, just have a seat and it'll be ready in a bit.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay.

'''Rosechu:''' Hm. Hm. Let me see if the children are up, uhhh. Christine, Robbie, Cerah! Y'all awake?

[''Chris moves 3 single Lego blocks into frame. Two are red, presumably representing Christine and Cerah. The last one is yellow, and apparently represents Robbie. He voices the children in an extremely annoying "cute" falsetto.'']

'''Christine & Cerah:''' Yeah, w'up, mommy. W'up. Mommy. Yeah.

'''Robbie:''' Hey, daddy! How you doin'?

'''Sonichu:''' Hi, son! How're you- I'm doing good, what you up to?

'''Robbie:''' Oh, I had fun in a dweeam. [[Chris and English|We had da funny a dweeam]]. [''Annoying laugh''] I'm playing catch with Cerah, [''Sonichu kicks Robbie in the face''] and then she said- then- I lost the ball. We went to go get the ball. And then some danger happened and I got lost. You know. But she saved me. [[Slow-in-the-mind|Yaaay]]!

'''Sonichu:''' [''Obviously uninterested''] Okay, that's good.

'''Rosechu:''' [''Chris accidentally uses his own voice here.''] Hey, Cerah.

'''Cerah:''' Hey, mommy. What's a goin'?

'''Rosechu:''' I'm doing—yeah we're doing good, right? Breakfast bill be ready in a bit so have a seat.

[''Chris turns the Rosechu figure to the other red piece.''] Hi, Christine.

'''Christine:''' Hi, Mommy. Hmm. I took a look in the mirror-m this morning and I was wondering, why am I so beautiful?

'''Rosechu:''' [''Said matter-of-factly in Chris's voice, in an obvious display of parental favoritism''] Maybe because you're shiny Rosey.

'''Christine:''' Oh, yeah. And that's why I'm purple instead of pink, which is your color. Cuz I'm a shining Rosey.

[''It should be noted that the block Chris is using to represent Christine is red.'']

'''Narrator:''' Okay, so anyway the family has breakfast together. [''Chris makes a horrifying "Om nom nom" esque sound, while mashing the blocks together at a table that only exists in his fevered mind.''] And the school bus arrives for the children. Yeah, so the three little kids go on the school bus. [''Chris makes a horn noise.'']

'''Rosechu:''' Oh! Bus is here, time to go to school!

'''Children:''' Okay, yay! Bye-bye mommy and daddy, see y'all later, we love y'all.

'''Sonichu:''' Ahh, y'all be get- y'all be safe.

'''Narrator:''' Okay. [''Sonichu [[Chandler Cats|slips in cat shit]]''] So then we go to chores.

'''Rosechu:''' Okay, yes, so I've got a few chores to do today.

'''Sonichu:''' Alright, lay 'em on- alright, tell me about them, honey. I'll do- I'll help you with them.

'''Rosechu:''' Alright, let's see, gotta clean out the gutters, uh, windows need to be washed, uhh, vacuuming, uhh, scrub the floor in the bathroom... Hm. I'll do half the- I'll do half the list, if you do the other half.

'''Sonichu:''' Sure, what do you want me to do?

'''Rosechu:''' Umm... Yeah, uhh, how about you clean the gutters, and uh, wash the windows. Uh, you did the lawn yesterday.

'''Sonichu:''' I know, I still got some grass stains in my s-quills. Heh.

'''Rosechu:''' Yeah. Hmm. If you could do the vacuuming, that'd be great. Umm... Yeah, I-I'll wa—I'll wash some dishes, I'll scrub the bathroom floor and, uh... [''Long pause, as Chris tries to come up with more engaging conversation.''] Gert and uh, did I already mention vacuuming?

'''Sonichu:''' I think you probably already did.

'''Rosechu:''' Oh, well, anyway let's go do that later. We'll just do that.

[''Chris waves the two figures around, and recites a strange chant, possibly implying that Sonichu and Rosechu do their housework by levitating and crying out to wicked pagan gods.'']

'''Rosechu:''' Oh, wait, all the chores are done!

'''Sonichu:''' That's good. Huh. Oh, and look at this, I got- I got just enough time before my usual run to town for the- to see if there are any dangers about. You want to [[Sex|do anything]] in particular?

'''Rosechu:''' Oh sure, how about if you and I, we play ''Dance Dance Revolution''? Or maybe we go do some Wii—that, or maybe some other Wii sport? [''humorously, it sounds like Rosechu says "Or maybe we go do some weed?"'']

'''Sonichu:''' That sounds like fun.

[''Chris shouts "Beep Beep!"'']

'''Sonichu:''' Uh oh! My cell phone! Yello? What's that? It's a robbery!? You need me there to help get the pri- to get the the robber outta there so you can- so these people being help captives can be safe? Alright, be right there CWCville bank. I gotta go, honey, duty calls.

'''Rosechu:''' Okay, well, be safe. We love you.

'''Sonichu:''' I love you, too.

[''Chris moves both figures off camera''] Okay. Alright so, Sonichu's dashing to the rescue! [''Chris drags the Sonichu figure across the surface a few times, and provides awful [[Chris and music|a capella background music]].''] Da-da-da-da-da zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom! But on the way, uh-oh! There's-what's this!? Little gir- uh-oh, there's a little- there's a girl in trouble.

'''Girl:''' Help, help, help!

'''Sonichu:''' What's the matter, little girl?

'''Girl:''' My cat's stuck up a tree!

'''Sonichu:''' [''Apparently under the belief that an inconveniently stuck kitty is somehow more important than several human lives''] No problem, I'll get it!

[''Suddenly blessed with the power of flight, as foreshadowed by his and Rosechu's shamanistic housekeeping rituals, Sonichu rockets skyward. He shortly returns with what might be a cat.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Here you go. Here's your cat. Pretty cat.

'''Girl:''' Thank you. Pretty k-little kitty, yeah. Kitty kitty cat.

'''Sonichu:''' Hi, I gotta go. See you later. Bye now.

'''Girl:''' Bye.

[''Chris resumes his retarded "Zoom Zoom" routine, then starts making siren noises, as Sonichu reaches his destination.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Uh-oh.

'''Fire Chief:''' There's a fire! There's fire!

'''Sonichu:''' Fire Chief! Uh-oh... Fire Chief, what's the matter? How many people we got left in the fi—how many people are left in the fire there?

'''Fire Chief:''' Uhh, looks like we got a few little more people left. We need to get 'em down.

'''Sonichu:''' You—yous—don't worry; I'll go get 'em.

[''With ''zoop'' noises interspersed throughout as each victim is fetched'']

'''Sonichu:''' There's a girl. There's an old—there's an old man. There's a nice lady. There's another girl. Uhh, I think that's—is that, uhh—I think that's all of them. Are there any more?

'''Fire Chief:''' Uhh, yeah, I think you cleared 'em all out.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, cool. I'm going out-I gotta go. I got my own errands to run.

'''Narrator:''' Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. Zoom. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom... [''sigh, followed by indistinguishable sounds''] Hang on one- one- I'm thinking. Oh, yeah.

'''Fred:''' Ahh.

'''Sonichu:''' Heh, what's the matter, Fred?

'''Fred:''' Ahh, I was deliverin' the mail. My tire went out. I can't... deliver the mail now. I don't wanna be late.

'''Sonichu:''' No problem; I got it covered. I'll deliver the mail for ya.

[''Chris makes tornado noises for a few seconds while the mail is "delivered", inspiring the question of why CWCville would need a mail carrier in the first place'']

'''Sonichu:''' There ya go. Finished your course. Sorted out everything.

'''Fred:''' Ah. Thanks, man. You're a big—thanks, man. You're a big help.

'''Sonichu:''' Alright.

'''Narrator:''' Alright....

[''More zooming noises'']

'''Narrator:''' The bank! We are now at the bank! Here's the police car—here's the police car, with the policeman.

'''Sonichu:''' Alright, Constable, what's [[da update]]?

'''Constable:''' Well, da robber's in dere. ...Robber's in dere. He got everybody at—got everybody at gunpoint...Need you to go—need you go into... air duct... and, uhh... and shock the, uhh, robber... save the people.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay.

'''Robber:''' Alright... we ready?

[''The robber continues to babble in Chris's native tongue'']

'''Sonichu:''' Not so fast! [''noises of Sonichu electrocuting the robber'']

'''Robber''' Ahh! Thunderbolt! Ehhh! I'm paralyzed, I can't move! I can't even boom-boom the trigger!

'''Sonichu:''' I saved the day! Alright, ladies... and gentlemen, everybody can free.

'''Ladies... and Gentlemen:''' Yay!

'''Sonichu:''' [''presumably to the constable''] Alright, then-

[''jump-cut to a later scene'']

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, so I finished saving—okay, so it's like I saved the day, so... I will scatter around town, see if there any more trouble.

[''whooshing sounds, followed by Sonichu's steam engine ringtone'']

'''Sonichu:''' Oh. Yes, Rosey? What's up?

'''Rosechu:''' Hey, honey, listen, the school bus broke down. Would you mind run—gettin'—fetching the children and bringing them home?

'''Sonichu:''' Sure, no problem; I'll go pick 'em up.

[''zooming sounds'']

'''Child:''' Hi, Dad-addy! [''nearly incomprehensible''] Mr. Bus bwoke down. Wiyu, pwease, take us home?

'''Sonichu:''' Kids, hop on.

'''Children:''' Yee!

'''Narrator:''' [''in the form of a melodic serenade''] Gonna put the bay... Gonna carry all three. Gonna carry all three in his hands. 'Cuz he's a [[pedofork|big daddy]]... [[rape|He can take care of his children like that...]]

[''Sonichu stuffs his hands up two of the children and carries the third wedged between them.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, we're going home.

[''zooming sounds'']

[''Sonichu drops one of his children head-first onto the unforgiving cement'']

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, we're home.

'''Children:''' Yay!

'''Rosechu:''' Hey, honey, you brought the children home. That's good.

'''Sonichu:''' Yeah, that's—yes... it is.

'''Narrator:''' Hmm. Mm.

'''Chris:''' Hey, everybody!

'''Unknown:''' Yay!

'''Sonichu:''' Hey, Chris—hey, Christian. How you doin'?

'''Christian:''' Oh, I'm doing very good, Sonichu. I just came by, checkin' to see... how things are goin'.

'''Sonichu:''' Oh, things are going well; I just brought the children home from school.

'''Christian:''' [''while Chris is talking, Sonichu [[30 Push-Ups|flops around]]''] Alright, cool. Well, I got some more business to do back at the Mayor's Office, but I thought I'd just drop by and say, "Hey." Alright, see y'all later.

'''Sonichu:''' Bye-bye.

[''Notice how Chris made sure Rosechu played the role of the "good bitch", keeping her mouth shut the whole time the men were talking.'']

'''Narrator:''' Okay... so... Oh, my God, it's six o'clock.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, well, let's have dinner.

'''Unknown:''' Fixing dinner, fixing dinner. Eating dinner. Nim, nim, nim-nim-nim. Okay, TV time! We're watching TV. Yay! ''Sanford & Son'' is- [''completely butchers the theme song''] Mm. Oh, look! ''The Simpsons''! [''then ruins that theme also''] Oh... Oh, you know what? Final show for the evening: ''[[Family Guy]]''. [''tries to sing the theme song and intermittently realizes that he doesn't know the words''] It—it seems these days, all you see is... ... ...family guy! ... ... ...can do all the things that make us laugh and cry. He's the family guy. Yay! [''Rosechu collapses briefly, most likely due to alcohol intoxication.'']

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, children, you watched enough television with parental guidance and supervision per—and discretion—all that stuff. And have you finished your homework?

'''Christine:''' Yeah, we finished homework, Daddy. We finished it when we wait—when we waitin' for you to come by da school. We didn't have much, anyway.

'''Sonichu:''' Okay, well... time to go to bed.

'''Children:''' Okay, good night, Mommy and Daddy.

'''Sonichu:''' Good night, children. Okay, so... [''sexily''] what do you want to do now, sweetheart?

'''Rosechu:''' I don't know... How about, umm... snuggle up... in the bed?

[''kissing noises'']

'''Narrator:''' Don't worry; it's clean show, folks! Anyway, there you go. That's a d—that's a day in the life of Sonichu. So, hope you all enjoyed that. See you all later on the CWCipedia. Bye-bye now.

'''Rosechu:''' Bye-bye-

[''Video cuts off abruptly.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[20 December 2009]]|nextlink=[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Sonichu Day}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-24]]

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Template:Da update

2013-05-18T22:22:40Z

Thsprppr:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*6 [[May 2013|May]] - More [[Jackie E-mails 24|emails between Chris and Jackie]] are leaked on on the CWCki forums.
*29 [[April 2013|April]] - Chris makes two new [[Facebook|status updates]].
*27 [[April 2013|April]] - A [[Jackie E-mails 24|new email]] from Chris to [[Jackie]] is leaked on the CWCki forums.
*20 [[April 2013|April]] - Chris uploads two [[:File:Haters to the left.jpg|new]] [[:File:Own free bitch.jpg|photos]] of himself to [[Facebook]].
*4 [[April 2013|April]] - Chris claims he has given up on [[The GAMe PLACe]], five years after his first ban.
*30 [[March 2013| March]] - An [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|epistle]] from Chris to his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] is leaked on the CWCki forums.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Jackie E-mails 24

2013-05-18T22:21:58Z

Thsprppr:

Template:Quote of the now

2013-05-17T06:48:13Z

Thsprppr:

{{quote|if you want it, my [[Duck|manlihood]] down here is at your service upon scintilating request|Chris to [[Jackie]], [[Jackie_E-mails 24|new emails]]}}
<noinclude>

{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]], or in rare cases non-Chris people. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible, the exact source is referenced, and use links appropriately. '''Be sure to cite where this quote comes from, include a link if applicable.''' Also, this is a wiki - please wikify (i.e. add links to other articles) when possible. Finally, don't add commentary to citation part - let Chris's words do the talking.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Emails

2013-05-17T06:40:16Z

Thsprppr:

{{Navbox
|title= [[Emails]]
|name=Emails

|group1 = Misc. early emails
|list1 = [[Chris E-mails 2004-2006|2004‒06]] • [[Chris E-mails 2007|2007]] • [[Chris E-mails 2008|2008]]

|group2 = [[Megan Schroeder]]
|list2 = [[Megan Emails, 2005-2006|2005‒06]] • [[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007|Jan‒July 2007]] • [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007|Aug‒Dec 2007]] • [[Megan Emails, 2008|2008]]

|group3 = [[Vivian Gee]]
|list3 = [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008|2007‒08]] • [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|2009]] • [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|2010]]

|group4 = [[Blanca Weiss]]
|list4 = [[Blanca Emails, August 2008|Aug]] • [[Blanca Emails, September 2008|Sept]] • [[Blanca Emails, October 2008|Oct 2008]] • [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|Letter]]

|group5 = [[Clyde Cash]]
|list5 = [[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays]] • [[Miyamoto Saga]] • [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] • [[Clyde E-mails]]

|group6 = [[PS3]] Saga
|list6 = [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|Jack Thaddeus]] ([[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|1]] • [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2|2]] • [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3|3]]) • [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]] • [[Katie Bay]] ([[Katie Bay e-mails 1|1]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|2]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|3]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 4|4]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 5|5]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|6]]) • [[Regina e-mails]] • [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]

|group7 =[[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag]]
|list7 =[[Mailbag 1|1]] • [[Mailbag 2|2]] • [[Mailbag 3|3]] • [[Mailbag 4|4]] • [[Mailbag 5|5]] • [[Mailbag 6|6]] • [[Mailbag 7|7]] • [[Mailbag 8|8]] • [[Mailbag 9|9]] • [[Mailbag 10|10]] • [[Mailbag 11|11]] • [[Mailbag 12|12]] • [[Mailbag 13|13]] • [[Mailbag 14|14]] • [[Mailbag 15|15]] • [[Mailbag 16|16]] • [[Mailbag 17|17]] • [[Mailbag 18|18]] • [[Mailbag 19|19]] • [[Mailbag 20|20]] • [[Mailbag 21|21]] • [[Mailbag 22|22]] • [[Mailbag 23|23]] • [[Mailbag 24|24]] • [[Mailbag 25|25]] • [[Mailbag 26|26]] • [[Mailbag 27|27]] • [[Mailbag 28|28]] • [[Mailbag 29|29]] • [[Mailbag 30|30]] • [[Mailbag 31|31]] • [[Mailbag 32|32]] • [[Mailbag 33|33]] • [[Mailbag 34|34]] • [[Mailbag 35|35]] • [[Mailbag 36|36]] • [[Mailbag 37|37]] • [[Mailbag 38|38]] • [[Mailbag 39|39]] • [[Mailbag 40|40]] • [[Mailbag 41|41]] • [[Mailbag 42|42]] • [[Mailbag 43|43]] • [[Mailbag 44|44]] • [[Mailbag 45|45]] • [[Mailbag 46|46]] • [[Mailbag 47|47]] • [[Mailbag 48|48]] • [[Mailbag 49|49]] • [[Mailbag 50|50]] • [[Mailbag 51|51]] • [[Mailbag 52|52]] • [[Mailbag 53|53]] • [[Mailbag 54|54]] • [[Mailbag 55|55]] • [[Mailbag 56|56]] • [[Mailbag 57|57]]• [[Mailbag 58|58]] • [[Mailbag 59|59]] • [[Mailbag 60|60]] • [[Mailbag 61|61]] • [[Mailbag 62|62]] • [[Common Questions]]

|group8 = [[The Wallflower]]
|list8 = [[Wallflower E-mails|1]] • [[Wallflower E-mails 2|2]] • [[Wallflower E-mails 3|3]] • [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]

|group9 = [[Jackie Romy]]
|list9 = [[Jackie E-mails|1]] • [[Jackie E-mails 2|2]] • [[Jackie E-mails 3|3]] • [[Jackie E-mails 4|4]] • [[Jackie E-mails 5|5]] • [[Jackie E-mails 6|6]] • [[Jackie E-mails 7|7]] • [[Jackie E-mails 8|8]] • [[Jackie E-mails 9|9]] • [[Jackie E-mails 10|10]] • [[Jackie E-mails 11|11]] • [[Jackie E-mails 12|12]] • [[Jackie E-mails 13|13]] • [[Jackie E-mails 14|14]] • [[Jackie E-mails 15|15]] • [[Jackie E-mails 16|16]] • [[Jackie E-mails 17|17]] • [[Jackie E-mails 18|18]] • [[Jackie E-mails 19|19]] • [[Jackie E-mails 20|20]] • [[Jackie E-mails 21|21]] • [[Jackie E-mails 22|22]] • [[Jackie E-mails 23|23]] • [[Jackie E-mails 24|24]] • [[Jackie E-mails 25|25]] • [[Jackie E-mails 26|26]] • [[Jackie E-mails 27|27]] • [[Jackie E-mails 28|28]] • [[Jackie E-mails 29|29]] • [[Jackie E-mails 30|30]] • [[Jackie E-mails 31|31]]

|group10 = Other
|list10 = [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole Smithey]] • [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Autism Awareness]] • [[Muscle bra#The bra e-mail|Muscle bra]] • [[Masturbating and squirtin'|Evan E-mails]] • [[White knight E-mails]] • [[Mailbag]]
}}
<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's [[E-mails|e-mail]] correspondence. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Jackie E-mails 24

2013-05-17T06:40:11Z

Thsprppr:

Jackie E-mails 31

2013-05-17T06:39:03Z

Thsprppr: Created page with "More e-mails between Chris and Jackie. Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent. {{EmailReply|July 19, 2011 8:47pm I'm..."

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{EmailReply|July 19, 2011 8:47pm

I'm sure your parents will get over it, and I'm sure it won't be too
long until you'll call me again. Obviously, you havd an alternate way
to access and write e-mails. I've been wondering, though, you were
calling me from your Pay-as-you-go cell phone, right? The previous
call with your interrupting father, I felt unsure with the theory of
you calling me from their house phone.

Count your blessings; you have a paying job. You have a place AWAY
from your parents to stay in for now (which I would really appreciate;
having somewhere else to get away from my parents, that is). And we
still have each other. Have faith, and keep a happy thought. ;)

Next phone conversation, you may dirty-talk as much as you want, and
I'll enjoy and be turned on with every word you speak as well as, and
especially, how happy you'll be feeling too.

Please keep me updated on your stats and everything. And let me know
if you were able to watch my cake fart.

And, I'm not sure if I've told you about my FaceBook page. It is the
one with the Only latest photo of me the Trolls got hold of (attached
for reference), my full name, and Everything but my profile photo
viewable by non-F.B. friends of mine. If you have an F.B. account,
please F.R. me. I currently only have one F.B. friend, one of my old
M.H.S. gal-pals. She founded the good-deeds promoting organization,
SprouLaunch witin the past decade.

Anyway, my thoughts and prayers go out to you, Sweetheart. :-*

Stay Safe and Sweet. I Love You, Jackie-Pie.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.

<nowiki>**Also attached are photos of a you-inspired boner and a close-up of my
cleveage.</nowiki>}}
{{EmailReply|July 19, 2011 9:18pm

I want to remind you that I can still come to visit and hang with you.
Offer's still on the table, collecting dust.}}
{{EmailReply|July 20, 2011 5:27pm

It was a hot day today, but my family needed to go out for a new part
for their toilet, so I chauffeured them around. We stopped for tea
before going to Llowes for the part. Then we walked about Wal-Mart a
while before going back home. I also finally rescued an original,
fuzzy Domo doll from their crane machine, which I've tried a few times
before. It took me about ten tries over the time, including today. I
like Domo, because he's a misunderstood, mysterious creature from
Japan. There's a page on Wikipedia about him.

Considering how hot today was to be, I gave Rocky a break by cancelling
the meeting for this week.

And, I want to let you know, I dreamed a bit about you last night.
Nothing much; just me calling for you, you show up, and I tell you
about how greatly open my heart is for you, then we hug and make out
until I awoke. :) My heart is always open for you, Jackie-Pie.

I'll e-mail you again tomorrow.

Stay Safe and Well,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{EmailReply|July 21, 2011 6:47pm

Not much earlier today; went out with my parents for lunch and Goodwill.

But the other day recently, I found on the Cwcki that they've found me
on the Tomboy/Tomgirl forum; saw right through the "KookyDashy". Right
after that, I posted that they were now being mocked on there. Today,
I find 13 replies to the post (under General Topics). One of them has
a techno-savvy friend who suggested something New to me; "Denial of
Service", clicking on links numerously to cause heavy traffic. I
posted a reply staring that the person knows more than I do. And I
felt it was time to further introduce myself on the forum, so I blew
the screen name disguise, told them a bitnof my plights with the Trolls
and that I am not the disgusting person I was mislabeled as and that I
want to be treated as a normal person and not have over two freaking
million hurtful results when googling my name. On a good note, I think
I may have started a small army to better counter attack those damn,
dirty trolls. It's a wait-and-see for now.

With that, I had a realization that between the trolls and my paranoia
last night on the way to falling asleep, I have lost and missed a
number of things over the years. I lost allowance for entry into the
G&H Place, followed by losing my volunteer job as Pokemon TCG Gym
Leader 2nd-in-command; I could have been promoted to full Gym Leader
after Tony quit. I lost my artistic vision and inspiration for the
time. I fell deeper into my lack of sele esteem and self confidence.
I missed out on socializing and possibly improving my S.E. and S.C. I
tried counting my current blessings here and there, and the blessing
that really made me feel better is having you in my life. I really
wish you were here to offer comfort at the time when I have down times
like that. I do the same for you.

The only thing keeping me from coming to you sooner is me not knowing
where you are located.

I'll e-mail you again tomorrow, and I will have a new video for you
before 8 pm then as well.

Stay Safe and well with Love,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{EmailReply|July 22, 2011 3:01pm

I'm uploading a new video right now; it's over 5 minutes long. It's
just me talking some more about me and a bit of my dad and mom. They
wanted to get out again, so I came along to make the library trip
during the outting. Currently, they're volunteeringly waiting for me
at the mall while I make the upload. After leaving the library, I'll
pick them up, and we'll make another stop or two before heading back
home. I will send you today's feature photograph later today in
another e-mail.

How are you today? Did you have another safe, good day at the parlor?
Has your family forgiven you yet? Where are you? I pray that you're
able to get back in touch me real soon. I miss talking with you, and I
really want to be right next to you.

The video's uploaded now. {{#!:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24UMoJHNi5E}}

By Tuesday, I will have all of the songs for you, I promise. <3

Stay Safe, Sweetheart. I Love You.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 27, 2011 8:51pm

I'm still grounded, Chris... :( I basically go to work and then come home and am not allowed to do anything else. I wish I could defy them or try to sneak out or something, but I wouldn't want to dishonor my parents, and all that, I'm sure you understand, unfortunate though it is. It makes me ache so bad to think that it's keeping us apart that much longer... :'( :'(
Now I got your email about changing the album Apple-Chrisp, that's no good. Raining Men is the climax of the album! If it helps, don't think of it as "raining men". Think of it as raining TOM-men, and this part is Robby emerging from the shadow of despair to become his true self. After all, after every storm is a rainbow, and you're MY rainbow... :) It's the most important part! If you don't do it, I'll be sad. If I'm sad, I can't go to work. And if I can't go to work, how will I afford to visit you on time? <nowiki>:'''(</nowiki> Give me the inspiration I need to keep earning that righteous paper, baby!!

Anyway, since you mentioned your activity on the tomgirl forum, how is all that going? You say that you have an army started to go fight the trolls? That's awesome! you said it was "wait-and-see", I guess that means you needed a couple days to formulate your war plan? You must have led them to some pretty gnarly victories already, then. Tell me about everything you've done to the trolls since rallying your fellow tomgirls under your banner! It would make me so hot to hear of your exploits... :)

Jackie-pie

P.S. Do NOT forget the beautiful album cover and the inside flap-art. I really want you to showcase the epic ballad of Robby, Vulva, little Taub and all their friends. The cover and flap-art are like the slow-dance at the prom, without it everything else is just missing the magic!}}
{{EmailReply|July 28, 2011 7:41pm

I am soo glad and relieved you were able to reply. :) I am sorry to
hear that you're still grounded, though.

On the TomGirl Forum, actually, when I said it was a wait-and-see, I
meant for what they'll be able to do and do it. I am unable to do any
planning, nor any leading, due to lack of appropriate knowledge or
technology. I have informed them of that a few minutes ago.

I will sing the R.M. song, but I'm going to sing it as "Raining Women".
I'll draw something nice for your "album cover". I'm still working
on
the whole thing. Yet due to an over 100 degree day tomorrow, I'll make
the Library trip Saturday.

Plus, I've killed a big chunk of my day learning about the scandal of
the Owner of the G&H Place; Robert Lightfire is a convicted-and-listed
sex offender in Illinois. Source, look for his article listed online
from the August 1, 2002 issue of "The Hook". There may be a chance of
taking down the Trolls by taking down the Place. An Icing on this
Justice Counter would be finding something equatablly scandelous on
Michael Snyder.

Mums The Word for now. Currently, this is mostly between me and my
parents; you and the tomgirls only have an inkling. Not One Word to
Anyone from you.

What about the other messages I sent you; did you like how I share my
other thoughts and stories as well? And did you see the cake fart
video? And did you enjoy and like the video where I sit and talk to
you?

Alternatively, you may hand-write to me via U.S. Mail, especially since
the folks have the lappie. I promise to immediately hand-write back to
each and every letter. I would really enjoy and appreciate reading
your hand-writing. Hand-writing has more of a person in it over typed
text. It's an idea, anyway.

I'll e-mail you again tomorrow.
Stay Safe with LOLove, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 28, 2011 9:33pm

Hey one more thing, I was reading the thread and someone said this:

"Yeah, he said he can help you take care of the CWCki and everything else but he has to collaborate with you in private before anything can take place. He also mentioned something called a "Google bomb" where he can manipulate search results in your favor to get rid of the stuff that comes up when you search your name. I sent you his email in a PM, just give him a shout so he knows it's you and he'll take it from there."

This is somebody you need to talk with Chrispy, because they can help you with your mission. He says he can get the info on the trolls and wipe out the google search results, but he needs your help to proceed. Ask for his help and ye shall receive! He can guide you in how you can best contribute without needing to take too much effort. Go to it, Chrispy! Beat the trolls once and for all!!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 29, 2011 1:42am

And considering how quickly you've replied, you probably either got
your lappie back or you're borrowing someone elses. I'm glad for you. :)

Anyway, you are correct on me not bad mouthing anyone without reason or
confirmation of fact or fiction.

Firstly, Michael banned me from THe PLACe and the Pokemon League there
in April, 2008. His reasons for that are quoted from him by the Trolls
on the Cwcki. They include me "being scary to children" and simply he
"was looking for a reason to ban" me. From past confrontations, it is
Confirmed that he is a closed-minded, dark-hearted bastard. Between
that, and Mr. Lightburn's conviction of being a lolita sexual offender,
there is likely a connection. I am searching for dirt on Michael. But
it is enough that "Cyber-Bullies meet and plot in a toy store owned by
a convicted sex offender," or something like that. This is also
relevant as the Trolls have tried throw labels of "gay" and "pedophile"
onto me and have attempted in framing me of such heinous deeds in the
past.

On another topic, "Raining Dykes" is most acceptable, and I will do my
best to sing it good along with the other tracks. :)

I will contact the person about the Google Bomb soon. I greatly
appreciate your dearest support. :D I like supporting you too. You
have done soo much to get closer to me, even though fate separates us
for one reason or another. I feel we are connected on a good level,
and I look forward to a deeper spiritual and true love connection
between us. We will be together soon, Sweetheart.

Jackie-Pie, please continue to Do Your Best! ;D

I Love You, with my heart.

Stay Safe,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrissy.

P.S.

I felt discomfort with an alias like "Chrispy". I have felt shock in
the past when someone strange called me the following. But because we
are at this level of spiritual connection, I personally feel comfort in
letting you, Jacklyn Romy, lovingly call me Chrissy from now on. :)
You have earned this privilege.}}

{{EmailReply|August 5, 2011

It was rough on me today; worse on my parents.

To begin, after taking [[Bob Chandler|dad]] to his doc appointment, followed by fueling
up the Mitsubishi, Mom hand he went to Riley's Diner in [[Ruckersville]].
I checked in with them via cellie as they made their way to the diner.
Mom requested of me to put a gallon of gas in the red canister for the
[[Chores|lawn tractor]]. I took a bag full of used cans with me also to dispose
of them in a nearby dumpster behind [[Wikipedia:Food Lion|Food Lion]] (there is no recycling
facility or disposal area for cans around here yet).

I was going to take [[Son-Chu|my car]], but it would not start. So I called and
informed mom about that, and that I would take the recently checked van
instead. She also asked me to drive by Goodwill to swap the van for
the Mitsu. I would have taken either the Honda or BMW, but I still
lack manual transmission knowledge. The van started. After getting
onto the road, I noticed the "check engine" being lit; [[Honor roll|at the moment I
disregarded it]]. But after dropping off the cans in the dumpster, I
started to press on, but after moving forward slightly, it stalled on
me. And I could not restart it. I called mom to come to me then.

Beforehand, she had a bought with the bitchy server/owner of Riley's,
Riley herself. Mom had a quarter of a chicken sandwich from McD; she
brought it in with her. She had also got her tea at Riley's before
this bout. Mom pulls out the quarter sandwich; Riley is all, "you
can't eat food from another place here". There's no sign stating that
anywhere there. So, mom ignored her and ate the q-sand in front of
her. Riley asked her to leave. Mom wanted her tea too, and she had a
big reusable plastic cup in the Mitsu. So she takes the cup of tea out
to the car and fills Her cup with the tea. She then returned the
restaurant's cup to the table dad was still sitting at. Riley bitched
some more at mom about taking their cheap plastic glass outside. So,
to come back for dad later, she leaves for the nearby Goodwill. Here
is where I came in with the last call, as well as the following where I
requested help stranded by the dumpster.

So mom comes with the Mitsu to the van; the jumper cables were in the
back of my car, the escort, at home. So, she stayed at the van while I
A) picked up dad at Riley's, B) stop to get lunch for me at the nearby
[[Obesity|Taco Bell/KFC]]; M.Deal 1: chick burrito, med drink and chips, C) return
dad home and pick up the jumpers and D) return to mom and the van.

The van was still fighting with the mucky, old gasoline; mom and dad
got earlier today a bottle of gas cleaner. So after returning to her,
she poured in the cleaner, attached the jumpers, and got the van
started. After putting away the jumpers, I followed her in the van
with me in the Mitsu up to the nearby [[Sheetz]].

After her parking the van by pump 7, I parked the Mitsu in a nearby
space. I checked in with her, then went into Sheetz to wash my hands
to allow me to eat the chick burrito. I sat in the van after she
fueled it halfway, and fueled the canister; she had to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|poo]] bad. After she returned, I had finished the burrito; she got in and tried to start
the van; no turnover. So I pulled the Mitsu up to the van to try
rejumping; no good. Mom called dad; he suggested punchin' the pedal
while starting up; no good. I stayed by her side during thebwait and
restart trials, keeping her company and talkin'; it helped her feel
better. Eventually, she reluctantly called for a tow, which arrived
about 10 to 20 min. later, to tow the van to Chuck's, just less than
half a mile north of Sheetz. The jumpers and can of gas were placed in
the Mitsu. We followed the truck and van, left a pair of van keys with
Chuck. He'll have another go at it soon. Then tired, mom and I
finally came back home about quarter after 7. Killed my day.

I was planning on getting the songwork completed, but after what
happened... I am sorry, but I will have to complete them tomorrow and
upload them on Saturday.

Life happens. *sigh* I know very well it's happening to both you and
I. I still think of you lovingly and dearly. :)

I'll e-mail you again tomorrow.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
LOLove,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
[[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] Apple Chrissy.}}

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{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 31]]

Jackie E-mails 30

2013-05-17T06:38:51Z

Thsprppr:

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|July 4, 2011 4:24pm

One more thing: You say I "have a place a place for myself here available to return to" in your house. In all honesty, I'm afraid to set foot inside your house. The place is a disgusting pigstye because you refuse to clean any of it. Don't use your parents as an excuse for the millionth time, because you refuse to clean your own room or bathroom, too, no matter how many times I asked you to. So excuse me for not wanting to wade into that den of refuse. Excuse me for wanting to see you some place that wasn't so filthy and gross.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 5, 2011 10:48am

On the place of yours in C-Ville, I was referring to Your Parents'
House; Why would I refer to My house in any way to be Yours at this
time?

And in any case, I am feeling anger, disregard to my better interests,
and lack of appreciation. I have Tried to make the trip within my
limits, but my mother's concern takes precipice, and if I went anywhere
over 100 miles from here without her blessing, I would only feel
miserable over her worrying about me And her changing the locks,
reporting me to the police and leaving me without a home to return to.
She WOULD do all that too.

You obviously lack appreciation of me as a person of noble nature, yet
mentally challenged and cautious. And because of this, I am putting
communications with you on hiatus until you get your attitude cleared
up and appreciations sorted out, and all of that sort.

Stay Safe, Jacklyn,
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 5, 2011 2:59pm

Chris, I'm really hurting inside because I really wanted to see you. I didn't mean to take my anger out on you but sometimes it's so easy to let your dark side take over and hurt the ones you care about, you know? And now I feel the tears coming on again. I don't want to give up on us. Please don't give up on us. I need you to be my hero, not my romeo, right now. Can I call you so we can talk? Like, tonight around 10?

Jackie :'(}}
{{Email|July 6, 2011 9:14pm

Chris, are you ignoring me? I've been calling the past two nights from 10 to 10:12. I want to work this out with you. :'( Why won't you pick up? Have you given up on us already? Have you given up on me?...
I feel so alone right now... so confused... maybe you're even ignoring my emails, too...

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 9, 2011 5:04pm

I'm sorry for not reading your recent messages before today; I made a
presumption of further aggression, and I was wrong. I am sorry for
making you cry with my absence. And I am sorry for not answering your
calls. I have been falling asleep earlier and getting up early lately.
I have been fatigued from the stress of failing you, taking the
aggression and all. Linnea has informed me of your trying to call me
about Thursday in an e-mail.

If you still want to talk with me, call me Sunday the 10th or Monday
the 11th at 8 PM.

I have a LOT to apologize with you for from this past weekend and the
past week.

I also have been thinking about other things, to put into a perspective
for myself, especially where Friendship stands and falls in the
following ladder (bottom to top). Acquaintance, *Friendship,
Relationship, Love, Sex. Perhaps your input into the quandry may help.

Friendship (2) leads to Relationship (3); 3 leads to Love (4), and 4
leads to Sex (5). Yet I have before heard of 5 destroying 2;
Acquaintance (1) skipping 2 towards any of 3 to 5; 5 without 4; 4
without the foundation of either 3 or 2. Also, I feel 5 breaking 2 is
rediculous, because 2 is the stronger foundation towards 5, with 3 and
4 in between. Most adults currently have 3 and up in mind without the
sweet foundation of 2, which leaves them too cautious, scared, paranoid
and so on in Social Situations.

I grew up watching, enjoying and learning from Friendship, Caring and
Sharing-encouraging programs, including "Care Bears", "My Little Pony",
etc. Plus, I was educated with a great number of Coping Skills
classes, yet after leaving Midlothian, I have lost a chunk, of that
friendship-filled confidence, from leaving my good friends behind.

The Sonichu series was originally going to be a Friendship and
Social-encouraging series with the dashes of action from defending the
city and the adventures. Then I lost sight of that from unwanted
negative criticisms, cyber-bullying and all that since November, 2007,
which were great inspiration-killers.

Sundqy or Monday at 8 PM.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 9, 2011 6:14pm

My ponderings over where has the Friendship gone these days comes from
my realization of me not understanding the rules therein. It sprouted
from a question I asked myself Wednesday morning; I have learned and
enjoyed friendship/caring/sharing programs, so why do I suck at making
friends these days? I talked with my pastoral counselor, Rocky, about
it later that day; she took my word-for-word thoughts down and drew up
the Acquaintance-to-Sex ladder for me, which I had not thought of
beforehand; good idea.}}
{{Email|July 9, 2011 9:22pm

Hello Chris,

I feel as if I can finally breathe again. Since your last e-mail, I have deeply crashed into my canopy bed Rainbow Brite comforter where I have not moved in days. It was once white but now is stained with lots and lots of sticky mascara. I could not help this. :'( It is a miracle I was able to will myself to the bathroom to insert a tampon otherwise it would have became RED like Marilyn Monroe's before she crashed FOREVER! And I don't want to crash FOREVER so thank STARLIGHT you've finally replied.

However, I cannot call at 8 as I need to buy more Demon in the Dark soap at the mall! I will try calling at 10 instead because I also need to shave after so many days AWOL from the sun because of my crash. If I am a few minutes late, please still pick up. My mommy has our number privatized because my special cousin Dani couldn't stop pranking our local Food Lion.

Looking forward to working things out. :') :') xoxo
Sparkles,
Jackie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 10, 2011 6:50am

Dang. I made you stay in one place for Days crying? I am Really sorry
about that. I have been there, days to weeks depressed in my room,
plus last week where I've been feeling lonely and worried about you
too, Jackie. You Do care about me.

You and I, we simply Have to meet up in person ASAP. We can talk about
trying again to set that up later. I'll stay up tonight for your call.

Stay Safe with Hugs and Kisses,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 11, 2011 3:02pm

Here's the lapdance

BTW, I think I recall another similar video I have created for you in
the past, if I am not mistaken; correct me if I'm wrong, with me
dancing to a spanish-type song; its title escapes me.

TTYTonight.
Stay Safe,
<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 11, 2011 7:47pm

Hello Chris!!
Here is the instructions for tomorrow's super romantic fantastic video staring ME AND YOU! xoxo

- I want you to get me, as your "sexy" blow up doll, all dressed up so I'm your twin! Give me gorgeous Little Mermaid red hair because I'm your ariel and you're my prince(ss)! Draw on my plastic skin with markers to make sure my make up is perfect. I want blue eyeshadow (since I knoooow Blue is your favorite and I'm your favorite!) and bright red cheeks! I want you to have loud, proud, gorgeous make up too! You can put it on in the bathroom at McDonalds if you want to avoid Mommy getting mad. I understand! Maybe you can get our make up on together on video in the bathroom! That would be so much fun! We'd be like, primping together for our date!

- Start the video in your room. Tell me about how you are here to whisk me away for Romance!! Pause it.

- Start recording again once you get to the Mcdonalds!! Hold the camera up after you park the car and tell me "guess where we are!! are you ready to have some fun??" because I so want to have fun with YOU, Chris!

- Bring me into the bathroom and film us!! We're super hot lesbians, like you said yesterday during the call! Let's be super hot lesbians together in the men's room! Scissor me baby! I want you to be my porn star!!! Heehee! I wanna see how you'd totally do it-- AS A LESBIAN. But keep your panties on baby because that's hot. A little ass and no skirt is fine tho!

- Upload by 8 pm and I will call you at 10 pm (give or take a few minutes).

KISSES!!! Thank you for being my magic tomgirl! Love ya, my AppleChris!

xoxo,
Jackie Pie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 12, 2011 6:04pm

<nowiki>**Top-to-Bottom; in that order.</nowiki>

Please forgive me for any faux-pas; I've misplaced my tripod, in part
4, I had to put the camera on a tissue box at an angle, and it was a
Freaking Hot Day; near 100 degrees. So, for the summer weather, I
would feel better if we kept any outside videos or such footage to a
minimum.

I did take some fun for JUST between You and Me photographs (Please Do
Not Share them with anyone else), including a close-up of my butt with
your "J.Pie" name on it; it was difficult for me to angle the camera
right, but after 20 or greater takes, I got it.

With that, in addition to the future vids, I will send you one fresh or
recent photo of me or something close to me, such as a photo of my
cats, which I've included in this e-mail as well, on a daily basis.

And, something else we can discuss tonight, I was thinking I can come
to you next month; I'll have more money, and I would be most willful to
your place and spend some time with you.

TTYL; Stay Safe,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 13, 2011 9:52am

First, I have just checked my e-mail; I could not find one from you.
Maybe a mistype in the e-mail address happened; IDK. Anyway, I will
have the redone 4th part up later today for you.

Second, attached are some fun photos of Pokemon in my room; not toys.
It is a fun feature on the Free 3DS software from the eShop, Pokedex
3D, with augmented reality (AR). I have constructed a sturdy frame to
hold any of the over 150 AR codes for the 3DS camera to read and
recognize to put Pokemon in our world, out of Lego bricks and plate
pieces. The inner pieces are rearrangable with easy removal and
replacement. I found that I had enough black and white bricks, and
other plate pieces, to make two frames. It's just a little fun thing;
feel free to look up Pokedex 3D on Nintendo.com or GameFAQs.com to
learn more about it. Think of the fun we can have with this too; like
digital pets for real. :) I would have created the codes on papef,
but a) I was unsure of the size and number of pixels to draw. B) The
black ink quantity was an issue. C) I can't create on a computer and
print any out at this time. But this is better anyway; reusable and
changable.

Okie Dokie Lokie, I will check in again later with the video.

Have a good and safe day at the parlor, Sweetie. ;-*
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Christian.}}
{{Email|July 13, 2011 10:08am

Here's a break down for you my pony-baby:

Re-do the last video where we do the nasty in the bathroom. I want you acting like a pornstar and flashing your panties at the camera. Draw a cutie mark on your cute widdle bottom and show it off! Make it be your Sonichu medallion- because that IS you to me and I accept you and it. Then, while you scissor me HARDCORE yell: "Who's your bronie? Yeah, who's your bronie! Yeah, TAKE it Jackie Pie! Take it from your nasty Apple-Chris!"
Do this for two minutes. Sing to me while you do it. Tell me wonderful things. Be my lesbian Bing Crosby. At the very end, I want you to burp and say "DELICIOUS"

<nowiki>*note: Bronie is pronounced BRO-KNEE. </nowiki>

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie}}
{{EmailReply|July 13, 2011 4:36pm

Practice sex and panty flash

Plus, photo is skirt rewrite.

TTYL; Stay Safe, Sweetie.
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 13, 2011 6:47pm

Hey Chris!

Y'know, I've always dreamed of being picked up by a sexy sassy sweet tomgirl at walmart! The most romantic thing a girl could want is to be be swept off her feet in a place with flowers, lingerie, urethral sounding implements, anal douches, propane, and propane accessories all within reach. Can you make a video like this one {{#!:(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1tufujnbzU)}} where you shake your ass and show me how all the tomgirls be at walmart? I want you to hump the air, gyrate those hips, open and close your thighs, stick your head through your legs, wiggle your ass at the camera, and twirl around in a circle (throw some glitter in the air!). Go absolutely FUNKY and CRAZY! I'm squirming and my pussy's gushing like a fire hydrant just thinking about it! You do want to make me happy, right? This would surely get me so hot :D! and waiting for you if you play out this fantasy of mine. :)

Always your's xoxo,

Jackie Pie}}
{{EmailReply|July 14, 2011 4:03pm

These are the photos of the back of my fancier mini skirt that didn't
show up on camera yesterday.

I have looked over the local Wal-Mart, and very cautious and observant,
I scouted earlier today for an aisle hidden from the store's security
cameras; I've found one aisle area in the auto dept. that is hardly
visable of any cameras. This short "walla-walla" may be doable, but I
still have my reasonable doubts with any passing witnesses. Being
caught here is not an option for me.

Anyhoo, I pray that you're having a good and safe day at the parlor.

I'll TTYL; Stay Safe, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3
Apple-Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 14, 2011 7:23pm

iya Apple Chris!

Thanks for the deee-lish pictures! I cannot wait to see tomorrow's video. I'll be calling you at 10 PM after you send them, too :D Good luck tomorrow! And remember to REALLY rock that booty! And after you get done gyrating around the aisles, don't forget to finish up in the dressing room with a sexy tease ghetto booty shake show like you said you would on the phone! So, quick one the in aisle for about a minute, then two in the dressing room. Sing a bit if you can! But I wanna see some ass cheek, BARE NAKED ASS CHEEK, in that video so wear a thong and flip the skirt up so I can see. Draw a cutie mark in marker ON your booty skin so I can see, okay?? Either your tomgirl design or Jackie's Pie. K? :D

Always your's xoxo miss you!
Jackie Pie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 15, 2011 3:23pm

Firstly, I wish to apologize for only the dressing-room portion; the
Wal-Mart was crowded, and as I have stated before, I did Not want to
get caught Or risk being arrested. I was arrested twice before; One of
which led me to being driven to a police dept., fingerprinted,
photographed; damn close to jail time; thank god my family was around
to pick me up and bail me out (there wasn't a bail to pay, but there
Was a trial later, of which I was under a probational watch for half a
year, then I was found innocent). (:0 *sigh* And I apologize for
forgetting the glitter.

Second, I would appreciate it if from here on out, we have no more
on-location (especially in a store or restaurant of any sort) videos.
On one hand, I'd have to record with my digital camera, which saves the
video files in a format unreadable by any of my consoles, and would
require a PC to either reformat it or directly upload it onto YouTube,
which I have been using a computer at my nearest library to upload
with. On the other hand, keeping the videos at home, and in my room, I
can record videos with my PlayStation Eye Camera through the EyeCreate
program, export the video onto the XMB in the readable format, and
directly upload onto YouTube from there, saving me gas in driving to
the library.

Third, I appreciate your ideas for videos, but allow me to surprise you
with my own ideas for satisfying or serenading you in the future
recordings. I promise to surprise you in the near future with a live
from my room recording of a few cake farts (in one video). And I have
come up with an idea for a method to add more air into me to create
multiple farts for the occasion.

One last thing for now, I have been thinking further, I really want to
make sure that I am well-compensated for my hard work for you in these
videos (with regards to the deeds-for-"merchandise" deals I talked to
you about the other night). You, Your Presence and Your Love Are most
certainly worth all of the efforts from me. Another thing, actually,
the practice sex in My room did turn you on; I feel it partially hard
to grasp as to why we'd Have To spend our night(s) together in a hotel
room, when I have demonstrated well that there is plenty of room in
mine to get it on in and be comfortable. I'm just thinking of that for
your benefit of saving money. Plus, before the deeds, and after our
in-person meet-and-greet date, anyway, I really would appreciate you
coming over to my house and meeting my mom and dad in person; they
would appreciate it as well, and I am certain it will make them feel
better to meet the woman I've been having sweetest conversations with
and getting to know for the loong while.

That's all for now, and I will TTYTonight.
Have a good and safe day, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp}}
{{EmailReply|July 15, 2011 5:14pm

The part in the third paragraph in my last e-mail; I've remembered the
discussion we had about that; I have informed you about some of the
things I'd like already, with the Sailor Moon DVDs, the DS game and the
Britney CD. So, please disregard that part of the e-mail.

I'll TTYL,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp}}
{{Email|July 16, 2011 1:36pm

<nowiki>Hey Apple-Chris!

Thanks for putting up with Daddy last night. I had gone out with my new co-workers for a drink after work and when I got home I saw that Mommy dearest had let him get into the liqueur cabinet again. Daddy's kinda bitter about Mike Judge since they knew one another years ago and when you mentioned he was like Hank he flew off the handle. When he's sober he's TOTALLLY not like that but when he's got a lick o' drink the bitter-stuff just bubbles right on over and blows up!!

Anypoo, the Walmart video was supah kawaii! You're so good at booty droppin'. Next time we'll do the video at home, ok?? Teehee!!!

For Tuesday's video I would really, really like for you to do the cake farts video!! I want you to get a hot little thong on and wear it. Then I want you to write, on your bare bottom cheeks, "Awesome Sauce!!" cos that's one of my favorite phrases when it comes to hot stuff, heehee. Write AWESOME on one cheek and SAUCE on the other NICE AND BIG so I can see it without squinting. Then I want you to buy a CHOCOLATE sheet cake and use that for the video!! I want you to start the video with it facing you. Ask the view "You know what I like the most?" then lick your lips and wink. Then say "Cake farts!". Then put the camera into position and start walking over to the cake all sexy like, like you were seducing it! Say "Let's get this DONE! oh yeah, mmmmm..."
Then settle down on top of it and go for a wild ride but super close enough so the camera can get a PERFECT view!! Fart like crazy!!! If you run out of gas, make noises and bounce that ass up and down!

When you're done getting that ass all cake-y, pick up the camera and focus it on your face... and eat some of that cake all sexy like for me! Roll your tongue and wink and make kissy faces while your face is SMEARED AND MESSY with it! Be a cute little cake monster for me!! Meow!!!

This way you can use your handy dandy ps-eye!! =D Sound hot?? I think so!!! I can't wait to hear your sexy sassy cute voice tell me these naughty things!!!

Looking forward to speaking to you after, too! 10 pm, Tuesday, Same time same lovey place!!!

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie</nowiki>}}
{{EmailReply|July 16, 2011 11:49pm

About your step-daddy, I did not mean to actually compare him with
Hank. Actually, it's something else. Straight-up: my family and I, we
have received a number of abusive calls from someone or more who made
bad impersonations of the character, "sellin' propane and propane
accessories; boy, I tell you what" and such shit. To us, it was
perceived as a bunch of Troll calls. And after hearing that talk from
him that night, I felt suspicion, because he sounded Very close to what
I have heard before. I am not accusing anyone, and I do not mean any
offense; I just felt paranoid. Is it possible that your step-dad got
my numbers from you and during past drunk episodes rang me and my
family to give us abuse and hate? I mean, his voice was just Soo close
to what I have heard before. I apologize if I've made you feel
discomfort.

Topic change, the cake farts won't happen that soon, and I have told
you before that I will surprise you with it soon. With that, I
appreciate your enthusiasm with the sex-talk and all, but there is a
limit to how much I can take for a time before it becomes monotonous
and bothers me wrong. I feel it better if the really dirty talk is
decreased; use it sparingly. And there are still a Lot of other things
we can talk about; sex isn't everything, you know.

You are a truly delightful and radiant woman; don't "shoot yourself in
the foot" with too much bad ammo (symbolically and metaphorically). Do
you understand, Sweetheart? There is a time and place for everything.
I Like You; I Care about You; I Love You, Jacklyn. <3

I have another good surprise for you; I got an idea for a set of lyrics
I'm going to write 'bout me being a "Small-Breasted TomGirl." You'll
see in due time. :)

I have my own good ideas too.

B.T.W., if you have Netflix, check out the anime "Nana" through the
Instant Streaming; it's one about two women both named Nana. It is
good.

Stay Safe, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 17, 2011 7:58pm

Oh, Chris... I don't know... You told me you had something going on in your pocket for me and that you were horny, and now you are not? I am saving myself for you so I am perpetually horny. Have you been relieving yourself? I have not been. I have been keeping myself pure and a new-virgin just for you, my one and only. So please don't act like I am a machine. I am crying again now and I seriously cannot stop. I didn't mean this but I can't help it! I feel so let down and depressed. I really wanted to see cakefarts on Tuesday and now I will not. You told me about the surprise angle but you also told me on the call you were flexible with things since I was out making money for both of us and our future.

You wanted to see me for a week instead of a weekend and I said okay provided you really, really honored me with what I requested of you in return. I guess you're not going to now... I guess you don't want to see me for a week, either... I don't feel very loved now. I fell for your beautiful tomgirl ways and those eyes, those gorgeous eyes!!... I feel horrible and ugly and alone...That super cute and handsome voice of your's haunts my dreams and now... I feel kinda sick now, too. I got in major trouble that night for telling Daddy off because I hated to see him hurt you. He knows I'm dating a man now. As does Mommy... I came out to them and risked my neck because I thought you were worth that risk and effort... I got my chopsticks and perfume set taken away because of it... because all I wanted was you in my life...

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 17, 2011 9:48pm

That's Not what I meant at all. I am still very horny for you. I was
referring to the dirty talking. I want Very Much for our relationship
to work for the very best. And I am going to continue to make the
videos as you suggest, with my own twists. And I'm searching for an
inexpensive chocolate sheet cake for the C.F. video.

Anyway, Remove all doubts from your head, because that's not the case
at all. And I'm sorry about the trouble between you and your parents.
At least at this point where they know about us, they may get used to
the idea (especially with Lars being long gone now (nothing intended)).

I am working and thinking hard on the Robbie/Vulva song and my own
TomGirl song lyrics. I won't disappoint you, Sweetheart, I promise.

I Care about you a lot, Jackie-Pie, and I Love You.

Stay Safe. TTYL,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{EmailReply|July 18, 2011 11:57pm

I found a nice chocolate and fudge cake for $9 at Wal-Mart. I cut
myself a piece beforehand; it was goood. It also had square candy
pieces I removed and ate as well. I showered later, and after becoming
dry, I recorded the video with my PSEye. Unfortunately, I've found
error in attempting to upload it, so I will make the library trip this
afternoon. Attached are post-fart cake photos; I have a few more to
send you later.

I pray you're not still broken up from that past e-mail; I've made a
bad choice of words. The term "Dirty Talk" was misplaced from me when
I typed it. I am very sorry for making you cry with my mistakes in
word choice.

Please reply, so I'll know you're okay. And have a good and safe day.

Lots of Love,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{EmailReply|July 19, 2011 12:50pm

Along with the "Awesome Sauce", as best as I can write it on the inner
reaches of my behind. And check this out, I'm communicating with
myself in a past time on my "Wrist Communicator" (3DS on my arm). LOL.

Have a good and safe day, Sweetheart. I'll TTYTonight.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 19, 2011 6:12pm

Hi Chris,

Bad news. Mommy decided to take away my laptop and internet and ground me for lying to her and my Dad about you. They also discovered the latest pair of chopsticks I bought on credit and are livid. :( I'm at a friends right now. I don't know when I'll be able to email or call you again because of this but hopefully it won't be for AGES and ages!

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 30]]

Jackie E-mails 30

2013-05-16T07:44:13Z

Thsprppr: Minor formatting fixes

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|July 4, 2011 4:24pm

One more thing: You say I "have a place a place for myself here available to return to" in your house. In all honesty, I'm afraid to set foot inside your house. The place is a disgusting pigstye because you refuse to clean any of it. Don't use your parents as an excuse for the millionth time, because you refuse to clean your own room or bathroom, too, no matter how many times I asked you to. So excuse me for not wanting to wade into that den of refuse. Excuse me for wanting to see you some place that wasn't so filthy and gross.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 5, 2011 10:48am

On the place of yours in C-Ville, I was referring to Your Parents'
House; Why would I refer to My house in any way to be Yours at this
time?

And in any case, I am feeling anger, disregard to my better interests,
and lack of appreciation. I have Tried to make the trip within my
limits, but my mother's concern takes precipice, and if I went anywhere
over 100 miles from here without her blessing, I would only feel
miserable over her worrying about me And her changing the locks,
reporting me to the police and leaving me without a home to return to.
She WOULD do all that too.

You obviously lack appreciation of me as a person of noble nature, yet
mentally challenged and cautious. And because of this, I am putting
communications with you on hiatus until you get your attitude cleared
up and appreciations sorted out, and all of that sort.

Stay Safe, Jacklyn,
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 5, 2011 2:59pm

Chris, I'm really hurting inside because I really wanted to see you. I didn't mean to take my anger out on you but sometimes it's so easy to let your dark side take over and hurt the ones you care about, you know? And now I feel the tears coming on again. I don't want to give up on us. Please don't give up on us. I need you to be my hero, not my romeo, right now. Can I call you so we can talk? Like, tonight around 10?

Jackie :'(}}
{{Email|July 6, 2011 9:14pm

Chris, are you ignoring me? I've been calling the past two nights from 10 to 10:12. I want to work this out with you. :'( Why won't you pick up? Have you given up on us already? Have you given up on me?...
I feel so alone right now... so confused... maybe you're even ignoring my emails, too...

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 9, 2011 5:04pm

I'm sorry for not reading your recent messages before today; I made a
presumption of further aggression, and I was wrong. I am sorry for
making you cry with my absence. And I am sorry for not answering your
calls. I have been falling asleep earlier and getting up early lately.
I have been fatigued from the stress of failing you, taking the
aggression and all. Linnea has informed me of your trying to call me
about Thursday in an e-mail.

If you still want to talk with me, call me Sunday the 10th or Monday
the 11th at 8 PM.

I have a LOT to apologize with you for from this past weekend and the
past week.

I also have been thinking about other things, to put into a perspective
for myself, especially where Friendship stands and falls in the
following ladder (bottom to top). Acquaintance, *Friendship,
Relationship, Love, Sex. Perhaps your input into the quandry may help.

Friendship (2) leads to Relationship (3); 3 leads to Love (4), and 4
leads to Sex (5). Yet I have before heard of 5 destroying 2;
Acquaintance (1) skipping 2 towards any of 3 to 5; 5 without 4; 4
without the foundation of either 3 or 2. Also, I feel 5 breaking 2 is
rediculous, because 2 is the stronger foundation towards 5, with 3 and
4 in between. Most adults currently have 3 and up in mind without the
sweet foundation of 2, which leaves them too cautious, scared, paranoid
and so on in Social Situations.

I grew up watching, enjoying and learning from Friendship, Caring and
Sharing-encouraging programs, including "Care Bears", "My Little Pony",
etc. Plus, I was educated with a great number of Coping Skills
classes, yet after leaving Midlothian, I have lost a chunk, of that
friendship-filled confidence, from leaving my good friends behind.

The Sonichu series was originally going to be a Friendship and
Social-encouraging series with the dashes of action from defending the
city and the adventures. Then I lost sight of that from unwanted
negative criticisms, cyber-bullying and all that since November, 2007,
which were great inspiration-killers.

Sundqy or Monday at 8 PM.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 9, 2011 6:14pm

My ponderings over where has the Friendship gone these days comes from
my realization of me not understanding the rules therein. It sprouted
from a question I asked myself Wednesday morning; I have learned and
enjoyed friendship/caring/sharing programs, so why do I suck at making
friends these days? I talked with my pastoral counselor, Rocky, about
it later that day; she took my word-for-word thoughts down and drew up
the Acquaintance-to-Sex ladder for me, which I had not thought of
beforehand; good idea.}}
{{Email|July 9, 2011 9:22pm

Hello Chris,

I feel as if I can finally breathe again. Since your last e-mail, I have deeply crashed into my canopy bed Rainbow Brite comforter where I have not moved in days. It was once white but now is stained with lots and lots of sticky mascara. I could not help this. :'( It is a miracle I was able to will myself to the bathroom to insert a tampon otherwise it would have became RED like Marilyn Monroe's before she crashed FOREVER! And I don't want to crash FOREVER so thank STARLIGHT you've finally replied.

However, I cannot call at 8 as I need to buy more Demon in the Dark soap at the mall! I will try calling at 10 instead because I also need to shave after so many days AWOL from the sun because of my crash. If I am a few minutes late, please still pick up. My mommy has our number privatized because my special cousin Dani couldn't stop pranking our local Food Lion.

Looking forward to working things out. :') :') xoxo
Sparkles,
Jackie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 10, 2011 6:50am

Dang. I made you stay in one place for Days crying? I am Really sorry
about that. I have been there, days to weeks depressed in my room,
plus last week where I've been feeling lonely and worried about you
too, Jackie. You Do care about me.

You and I, we simply Have to meet up in person ASAP. We can talk about
trying again to set that up later. I'll stay up tonight for your call.

Stay Safe with Hugs and Kisses,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 11, 2011 3:02pm

Here's the lapdance

BTW, I think I recall another similar video I have created for you in
the past, if I am not mistaken; correct me if I'm wrong, with me
dancing to a spanish-type song; its title escapes me.

TTYTonight.
Stay Safe,
<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 11, 2011 7:47pm

Hello Chris!!
Here is the instructions for tomorrow's super romantic fantastic video staring ME AND YOU! xoxo

- I want you to get me, as your "sexy" blow up doll, all dressed up so I'm your twin! Give me gorgeous Little Mermaid red hair because I'm your ariel and you're my prince(ss)! Draw on my plastic skin with markers to make sure my make up is perfect. I want blue eyeshadow (since I knoooow Blue is your favorite and I'm your favorite!) and bright red cheeks! I want you to have loud, proud, gorgeous make up too! You can put it on in the bathroom at McDonalds if you want to avoid Mommy getting mad. I understand! Maybe you can get our make up on together on video in the bathroom! That would be so much fun! We'd be like, primping together for our date!

- Start the video in your room. Tell me about how you are here to whisk me away for Romance!! Pause it.

- Start recording again once you get to the Mcdonalds!! Hold the camera up after you park the car and tell me "guess where we are!! are you ready to have some fun??" because I so want to have fun with YOU, Chris!

- Bring me into the bathroom and film us!! We're super hot lesbians, like you said yesterday during the call! Let's be super hot lesbians together in the men's room! Scissor me baby! I want you to be my porn star!!! Heehee! I wanna see how you'd totally do it-- AS A LESBIAN. But keep your panties on baby because that's hot. A little ass and no skirt is fine tho!

- Upload by 8 pm and I will call you at 10 pm (give or take a few minutes).

KISSES!!! Thank you for being my magic tomgirl! Love ya, my AppleChris!

xoxo,
Jackie Pie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 12, 2011 6:04pm

<nowiki>**Top-to-Bottom; in that order.</nowiki>

Please forgive me for any faux-pas; I've misplaced my tripod, in part
4, I had to put the camera on a tissue box at an angle, and it was a
Freaking Hot Day; near 100 degrees. So, for the summer weather, I
would feel better if we kept any outside videos or such footage to a
minimum.

I did take some fun for JUST between You and Me photographs (Please Do
Not Share them with anyone else), including a close-up of my butt with
your "J.Pie" name on it; it was difficult for me to angle the camera
right, but after 20 or greater takes, I got it.

With that, in addition to the future vids, I will send you one fresh or
recent photo of me or something close to me, such as a photo of my
cats, which I've included in this e-mail as well, on a daily basis.

And, something else we can discuss tonight, I was thinking I can come
to you next month; I'll have more money, and I would be most willful to
your place and spend some time with you.

TTYL; Stay Safe,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 13, 2011 9:52am

First, I have just checked my e-mail; I could not find one from you.
Maybe a mistype in the e-mail address happened; IDK. Anyway, I will
have the redone 4th part up later today for you.

Second, attached are some fun photos of Pokemon in my room; not toys.
It is a fun feature on the Free 3DS software from the eShop, Pokedex
3D, with augmented reality (AR). I have constructed a sturdy frame to
hold any of the over 150 AR codes for the 3DS camera to read and
recognize to put Pokemon in our world, out of Lego bricks and plate
pieces. The inner pieces are rearrangable with easy removal and
replacement. I found that I had enough black and white bricks, and
other plate pieces, to make two frames. It's just a little fun thing;
feel free to look up Pokedex 3D on Nintendo.com or GameFAQs.com to
learn more about it. Think of the fun we can have with this too; like
digital pets for real. :) I would have created the codes on papef,
but a) I was unsure of the size and number of pixels to draw. B) The
black ink quantity was an issue. C) I can't create on a computer and
print any out at this time. But this is better anyway; reusable and
changable.

Okie Dokie Lokie, I will check in again later with the video.

Have a good and safe day at the parlor, Sweetie. ;-*
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Christian.}}
{{Email|July 13, 2011 10:08am

Here's a break down for you my pony-baby:

Re-do the last video where we do the nasty in the bathroom. I want you acting like a pornstar and flashing your panties at the camera. Draw a cutie mark on your cute widdle bottom and show it off! Make it be your Sonichu medallion- because that IS you to me and I accept you and it. Then, while you scissor me HARDCORE yell: "Who's your bronie? Yeah, who's your bronie! Yeah, TAKE it Jackie Pie! Take it from your nasty Apple-Chris!"
Do this for two minutes. Sing to me while you do it. Tell me wonderful things. Be my lesbian Bing Crosby. At the very end, I want you to burp and say "DELICIOUS"

<nowiki>*note: Bronie is pronounced BRO-KNEE. </nowiki>

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie}}
{{EmailReply|July 13, 2011 4:36pm

Practice sex and panty flash

Plus, photo is skirt rewrite.

TTYL; Stay Safe, Sweetie.
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 13, 2011 6:47pm

Hey Chris!

Y'know, I've always dreamed of being picked up by a sexy sassy sweet tomgirl at walmart! The most romantic thing a girl could want is to be be swept off her feet in a place with flowers, lingerie, urethral sounding implements, anal douches, propane, and propane accessories all within reach. Can you make a video like this one {{#!:(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1tufujnbzU)}} where you shake your ass and show me how all the tomgirls be at walmart? I want you to hump the air, gyrate those hips, open and close your thighs, stick your head through your legs, wiggle your ass at the camera, and twirl around in a circle (throw some glitter in the air!). Go absolutely FUNKY and CRAZY! I'm squirming and my pussy's gushing like a fire hydrant just thinking about it! You do want to make me happy, right? This would surely get me so hot :D! and waiting for you if you play out this fantasy of mine. :)

Always your's xoxo,

Jackie Pie}}
{{EmailReply|July 14, 2011 4:03pm

These are the photos of the back of my fancier mini skirt that didn't
show up on camera yesterday.

I have looked over the local Wal-Mart, and very cautious and observant,
I scouted earlier today for an aisle hidden from the store's security
cameras; I've found one aisle area in the auto dept. that is hardly
visable of any cameras. This short "walla-walla" may be doable, but I
still have my reasonable doubts with any passing witnesses. Being
caught here is not an option for me.

Anyhoo, I pray that you're having a good and safe day at the parlor.

I'll TTYL; Stay Safe, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3
Apple-Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 14, 2011 7:23pm

iya Apple Chris!

Thanks for the deee-lish pictures! I cannot wait to see tomorrow's video. I'll be calling you at 10 PM after you send them, too :D Good luck tomorrow! And remember to REALLY rock that booty! And after you get done gyrating around the aisles, don't forget to finish up in the dressing room with a sexy tease ghetto booty shake show like you said you would on the phone! So, quick one the in aisle for about a minute, then two in the dressing room. Sing a bit if you can! But I wanna see some ass cheek, BARE NAKED ASS CHEEK, in that video so wear a thong and flip the skirt up so I can see. Draw a cutie mark in marker ON your booty skin so I can see, okay?? Either your tomgirl design or Jackie's Pie. K? :D

Always your's xoxo miss you!
Jackie Pie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 15, 2011 3:23pm

Firstly, I wish to apologize for only the dressing-room portion; the
Wal-Mart was crowded, and as I have stated before, I did Not want to
get caught Or risk being arrested. I was arrested twice before; One of
which led me to being driven to a police dept., fingerprinted,
photographed; damn close to jail time; thank god my family was around
to pick me up and bail me out (there wasn't a bail to pay, but there
Was a trial later, of which I was under a probational watch for half a
year, then I was found innocent). (:0 *sigh* And I apologize for
forgetting the glitter.

Second, I would appreciate it if from here on out, we have no more
on-location (especially in a store or restaurant of any sort) videos.
On one hand, I'd have to record with my digital camera, which saves the
video files in a format unreadable by any of my consoles, and would
require a PC to either reformat it or directly upload it onto YouTube,
which I have been using a computer at my nearest library to upload
with. On the other hand, keeping the videos at home, and in my room, I
can record videos with my PlayStation Eye Camera through the EyeCreate
program, export the video onto the XMB in the readable format, and
directly upload onto YouTube from there, saving me gas in driving to
the library.

Third, I appreciate your ideas for videos, but allow me to surprise you
with my own ideas for satisfying or serenading you in the future
recordings. I promise to surprise you in the near future with a live
from my room recording of a few cake farts (in one video). And I have
come up with an idea for a method to add more air into me to create
multiple farts for the occasion.

One last thing for now, I have been thinking further, I really want to
make sure that I am well-compensated for my hard work for you in these
videos (with regards to the deeds-for-"merchandise" deals I talked to
you about the other night). You, Your Presence and Your Love Are most
certainly worth all of the efforts from me. Another thing, actually,
the practice sex in My room did turn you on; I feel it partially hard
to grasp as to why we'd Have To spend our night(s) together in a hotel
room, when I have demonstrated well that there is plenty of room in
mine to get it on in and be comfortable. I'm just thinking of that for
your benefit of saving money. Plus, before the deeds, and after our
in-person meet-and-greet date, anyway, I really would appreciate you
coming over to my house and meeting my mom and dad in person; they
would appreciate it as well, and I am certain it will make them feel
better to meet the woman I've been having sweetest conversations with
and getting to know for the loong while.

That's all for now, and I will TTYTonight.
Have a good and safe day, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp}}
{{EmailReply|July 15, 2011 5:14pm

The part in the third paragraph in my last e-mail; I've remembered the
discussion we had about that; I have informed you about some of the
things I'd like already, with the Sailor Moon DVDs, the DS game and the
Britney CD. So, please disregard that part of the e-mail.

I'll TTYL,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp}}
{{Email|July 16, 2011 1:36pm

<nowiki>Hey Apple-Chris!

Thanks for putting up with Daddy last night. I had gone out with my new co-workers for a drink after work and when I got home I saw that Mommy dearest had let him get into the liqueur cabinet again. Daddy's kinda bitter about Mike Judge since they knew one another years ago and when you mentioned he was like Hank he flew off the handle. When he's sober he's TOTALLLY not like that but when he's got a lick o' drink the bitter-stuff just bubbles right on over and blows up!!

Anypoo, the Walmart video was supah kawaii! You're so good at booty droppin'. Next time we'll do the video at home, ok?? Teehee!!!

For Tuesday's video I would really, really like for you to do the cake farts video!! I want you to get a hot little thong on and wear it. Then I want you to write, on your bare bottom cheeks, "Awesome Sauce!!" cos that's one of my favorite phrases when it comes to hot stuff, heehee. Write AWESOME on one cheek and SAUCE on the other NICE AND BIG so I can see it without squinting. Then I want you to buy a CHOCOLATE sheet cake and use that for the video!! I want you to start the video with it facing you. Ask the view "You know what I like the most?" then lick your lips and wink. Then say "Cake farts!". Then put the camera into position and start walking over to the cake all sexy like, like you were seducing it! Say "Let's get this DONE! oh yeah, mmmmm..."
Then settle down on top of it and go for a wild ride but super close enough so the camera can get a PERFECT view!! Fart like crazy!!! If you run out of gas, make noises and bounce that ass up and down!

When you're done getting that ass all cake-y, pick up the camera and focus it on your face... and eat some of that cake all sexy like for me! Roll your tongue and wink and make kissy faces while your face is SMEARED AND MESSY with it! Be a cute little cake monster for me!! Meow!!!

This way you can use your handy dandy ps-eye!! =D Sound hot?? I think so!!! I can't wait to hear your sexy sassy cute voice tell me these naughty things!!!

Looking forward to speaking to you after, too! 10 pm, Tuesday, Same time same lovey place!!!

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie</nowiki>}}
{{EmailReply|July 16, 2011 11:49pm

About your step-daddy, I did not mean to actually compare him with
Hank. Actually, it's something else. Straight-up: my family and I, we
have received a number of abusive calls from someone or more who made
bad impersonations of the character, "sellin' propane and propane
accessories; boy, I tell you what" and such shit. To us, it was
perceived as a bunch of Troll calls. And after hearing that talk from
him that night, I felt suspicion, because he sounded Very close to what
I have heard before. I am not accusing anyone, and I do not mean any
offense; I just felt paranoid. Is it possible that your step-dad got
my numbers from you and during past drunk episodes rang me and my
family to give us abuse and hate? I mean, his voice was just Soo close
to what I have heard before. I apologize if I've made you feel
discomfort.

Topic change, the cake farts won't happen that soon, and I have told
you before that I will surprise you with it soon. With that, I
appreciate your enthusiasm with the sex-talk and all, but there is a
limit to how much I can take for a time before it becomes monotonous
and bothers me wrong. I feel it better if the really dirty talk is
decreased; use it sparingly. And there are still a Lot of other things
we can talk about; sex isn't everything, you know.

You are a truly delightful and radiant woman; don't "shoot yourself in
the foot" with too much bad ammo (symbolically and metaphorically). Do
you understand, Sweetheart? There is a time and place for everything.
I Like You; I Care about You; I Love You, Jacklyn. <3

I have another good surprise for you; I got an idea for a set of lyrics
I'm going to write 'bout me being a "Small-Breasted TomGirl." You'll
see in due time. :)

I have my own good ideas too.

B.T.W., if you have Netflix, check out the anime "Nana" through the
Instant Streaming; it's one about two women both named Nana. It is
good.

Stay Safe, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 17, 2011 7:58pm

Oh, Chris... I don't know... You told me you had something going on in your pocket for me and that you were horny, and now you are not? I am saving myself for you so I am perpetually horny. Have you been relieving yourself? I have not been. I have been keeping myself pure and a new-virgin just for you, my one and only. So please don't act like I am a machine. I am crying again now and I seriously cannot stop. I didn't mean this but I can't help it! I feel so let down and depressed. I really wanted to see cakefarts on Tuesday and now I will not. You told me about the surprise angle but you also told me on the call you were flexible with things since I was out making money for both of us and our future.

You wanted to see me for a week instead of a weekend and I said okay provided you really, really honored me with what I requested of you in return. I guess you're not going to now... I guess you don't want to see me for a week, either... I don't feel very loved now. I fell for your beautiful tomgirl ways and those eyes, those gorgeous eyes!!... I feel horrible and ugly and alone...That super cute and handsome voice of your's haunts my dreams and now... I feel kinda sick now, too. I got in major trouble that night for telling Daddy off because I hated to see him hurt you. He knows I'm dating a man now. As does Mommy... I came out to them and risked my neck because I thought you were worth that risk and effort... I got my chopsticks and perfume set taken away because of it... because all I wanted was you in my life...

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 17, 2011 9:48pm

That's Not what I meant at all. I am still very horny for you. I was
referring to the dirty talking. I want Very Much for our relationship
to work for the very best. And I am going to continue to make the
videos as you suggest, with my own twists. And I'm searching for an
inexpensive chocolate sheet cake for the C.F. video.

Anyway, Remove all doubts from your head, because that's not the case
at all. And I'm sorry about the trouble between you and your parents.
At least at this point where they know about us, they may get used to
the idea (especially with Lars being long gone now (nothing intended)).

I am working and thinking hard on the Robbie/Vulva song and my own
TomGirl song lyrics. I won't disappoint you, Sweetheart, I promise.

I Care about you a lot, Jackie-Pie, and I Love You.

Stay Safe. TTYL,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{EmailReply|July 18, 2011 11:57pm

I found a nice chocolate and fudge cake for $9 at Wal-Mart. I cut
myself a piece beforehand; it was goood. It also had square candy
pieces I removed and ate as well. I showered later, and after becoming
dry, I recorded the video with my PSEye. Unfortunately, I've found
error in attempting to upload it, so I will make the library trip this
afternoon. Attached are post-fart cake photos; I have a few more to
send you later.

I pray you're not still broken up from that past e-mail; I've made a
bad choice of words. The term "Dirty Talk" was misplaced from me when
I typed it. I am very sorry for making you cry with my mistakes in
word choice.

Please reply, so I'll know you're okay. And have a good and safe day.

Lots of Love,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{EmailReply|July 19, 2011 12:50pm

Along with the "Awesome Sauce", as best as I can write it on the inner
reaches of my behind. And check this out, I'm communicating with
myself in a past time on my "Wrist Communicator" (3DS on my arm). LOL.

Have a good and safe day, Sweetheart. I'll TTYTonight.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 19, 2011 6:12pm

Hi Chris,

Bad news. Mommy decided to take away my laptop and internet and ground me for lying to her and my Dad about you. They also discovered the latest pair of chopsticks I bought on credit and are livid. :( I'm at a friends right now. I don't know when I'll be able to email or call you again because of this but hopefully it won't be for AGES and ages!

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 30]]

Jackie E-mails 30

2013-05-16T07:40:47Z

Thsprppr: Created page with "More e-mails between Chris and Jackie. Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent. {{Email|July 4, 2011 4:24pm One more ..."

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|July 4, 2011 4:24pm

One more thing: You say I "have a place a place for myself here available to return to" in your house. In all honesty, I'm afraid to set foot inside your house. The place is a disgusting pigstye because you refuse to clean any of it. Don't use your parents as an excuse for the millionth time, because you refuse to clean your own room or bathroom, too, no matter how many times I asked you to. So excuse me for not wanting to wade into that den of refuse. Excuse me for wanting to see you some place that wasn't so filthy and gross.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 5, 2011 10:48am

On the place of yours in C-Ville, I was referring to Your Parents'
House; Why would I refer to My house in any way to be Yours at this
time?

And in any case, I am feeling anger, disregard to my better interests,
and lack of appreciation. I have Tried to make the trip within my
limits, but my mother's concern takes precipice, and if I went anywhere
over 100 miles from here without her blessing, I would only feel
miserable over her worrying about me And her changing the locks,
reporting me to the police and leaving me without a home to return to.
She WOULD do all that too.

You obviously lack appreciation of me as a person of noble nature, yet
mentally challenged and cautious. And because of this, I am putting
communications with you on hiatus until you get your attitude cleared
up and appreciations sorted out, and all of that sort.

Stay Safe, Jacklyn,
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 5, 2011 2:59pm

Chris, I'm really hurting inside because I really wanted to see you. I didn't mean to take my anger out on you but sometimes it's so easy to let your dark side take over and hurt the ones you care about, you know? And now I feel the tears coming on again. I don't want to give up on us. Please don't give up on us. I need you to be my hero, not my romeo, right now. Can I call you so we can talk? Like, tonight around 10?

Jackie :'(}}
{{Email|July 6, 2011 9:14pm

Chris, are you ignoring me? I've been calling the past two nights from 10 to 10:12. I want to work this out with you. :'( Why won't you pick up? Have you given up on us already? Have you given up on me?...
I feel so alone right now... so confused... maybe you're even ignoring my emails, too...

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 9, 2011 5:04pm

I'm sorry for not reading your recent messages before today; I made a
presumption of further aggression, and I was wrong. I am sorry for
making you cry with my absence. And I am sorry for not answering your
calls. I have been falling asleep earlier and getting up early lately.
I have been fatigued from the stress of failing you, taking the
aggression and all. Linnea has informed me of your trying to call me
about Thursday in an e-mail.

If you still want to talk with me, call me Sunday the 10th or Monday
the 11th at 8 PM.

I have a LOT to apologize with you for from this past weekend and the
past week.

I also have been thinking about other things, to put into a perspective
for myself, especially where Friendship stands and falls in the
following ladder (bottom to top). Acquaintance, *Friendship,
Relationship, Love, Sex. Perhaps your input into the quandry may help.

Friendship (2) leads to Relationship (3); 3 leads to Love (4), and 4
leads to Sex (5). Yet I have before heard of 5 destroying 2;
Acquaintance (1) skipping 2 towards any of 3 to 5; 5 without 4; 4
without the foundation of either 3 or 2. Also, I feel 5 breaking 2 is
rediculous, because 2 is the stronger foundation towards 5, with 3 and
4 in between. Most adults currently have 3 and up in mind without the
sweet foundation of 2, which leaves them too cautious, scared, paranoid
and so on in Social Situations.

I grew up watching, enjoying and learning from Friendship, Caring and
Sharing-encouraging programs, including "Care Bears", "My Little Pony",
etc. Plus, I was educated with a great number of Coping Skills
classes, yet after leaving Midlothian, I have lost a chunk, of that
friendship-filled confidence, from leaving my good friends behind.

The Sonichu series was originally going to be a Friendship and
Social-encouraging series with the dashes of action from defending the
city and the adventures. Then I lost sight of that from unwanted
negative criticisms, cyber-bullying and all that since November, 2007,
which were great inspiration-killers.

Sundqy or Monday at 8 PM.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 9, 2011 6:14pm

My ponderings over where has the Friendship gone these days comes from
my realization of me not understanding the rules therein. It sprouted
from a question I asked myself Wednesday morning; I have learned and
enjoyed friendship/caring/sharing programs, so why do I suck at making
friends these days? I talked with my pastoral counselor, Rocky, about
it later that day; she took my word-for-word thoughts down and drew up
the Acquaintance-to-Sex ladder for me, which I had not thought of
beforehand; good idea.}}
{{Email|July 9, 2011 9:22pm

Hello Chris,

I feel as if I can finally breathe again. Since your last e-mail, I have deeply crashed into my canopy bed Rainbow Brite comforter where I have not moved in days. It was once white but now is stained with lots and lots of sticky mascara. I could not help this. :'( It is a miracle I was able to will myself to the bathroom to insert a tampon otherwise it would have became RED like Marilyn Monroe's before she crashed FOREVER! And I don't want to crash FOREVER so thank STARLIGHT you've finally replied.

However, I cannot call at 8 as I need to buy more Demon in the Dark soap at the mall! I will try calling at 10 instead because I also need to shave after so many days AWOL from the sun because of my crash. If I am a few minutes late, please still pick up. My mommy has our number privatized because my special cousin Dani couldn't stop pranking our local Food Lion.

Looking forward to working things out. :') :') xoxo
Sparkles,
Jackie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 10, 2011 6:50am

Dang. I made you stay in one place for Days crying? I am Really sorry
about that. I have been there, days to weeks depressed in my room,
plus last week where I've been feeling lonely and worried about you
too, Jackie. You Do care about me.

You and I, we simply Have to meet up in person ASAP. We can talk about
trying again to set that up later. I'll stay up tonight for your call.

Stay Safe with Hugs and Kisses,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 11, 2011 3:02pm

Here's the lapdance

BTW, I think I recall another similar video I have created for you in
the past, if I am not mistaken; correct me if I'm wrong, with me
dancing to a spanish-type song; its title escapes me.

TTYTonight.
Stay Safe,
<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 11, 2011 7:47pm

Hello Chris!!
Here is the instructions for tomorrow's super romantic fantastic video staring ME AND YOU! xoxo

- I want you to get me, as your "sexy" blow up doll, all dressed up so I'm your twin! Give me gorgeous Little Mermaid red hair because I'm your ariel and you're my prince(ss)! Draw on my plastic skin with markers to make sure my make up is perfect. I want blue eyeshadow (since I knoooow Blue is your favorite and I'm your favorite!) and bright red cheeks! I want you to have loud, proud, gorgeous make up too! You can put it on in the bathroom at McDonalds if you want to avoid Mommy getting mad. I understand! Maybe you can get our make up on together on video in the bathroom! That would be so much fun! We'd be like, primping together for our date!

- Start the video in your room. Tell me about how you are here to whisk me away for Romance!! Pause it.

- Start recording again once you get to the Mcdonalds!! Hold the camera up after you park the car and tell me "guess where we are!! are you ready to have some fun??" because I so want to have fun with YOU, Chris!

- Bring me into the bathroom and film us!! We're super hot lesbians, like you said yesterday during the call! Let's be super hot lesbians together in the men's room! Scissor me baby! I want you to be my porn star!!! Heehee! I wanna see how you'd totally do it-- AS A LESBIAN. But keep your panties on baby because that's hot. A little ass and no skirt is fine tho!

- Upload by 8 pm and I will call you at 10 pm (give or take a few minutes).

KISSES!!! Thank you for being my magic tomgirl! Love ya, my AppleChris!

xoxo,
Jackie Pie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 12, 2011 6:04pm

**Top-to-Bottom; in that order.

Please forgive me for any faux-pas; I've misplaced my tripod, in part
4, I had to put the camera on a tissue box at an angle, and it was a
Freaking Hot Day; near 100 degrees. So, for the summer weather, I
would feel better if we kept any outside videos or such footage to a
minimum.

I did take some fun for JUST between You and Me photographs (Please Do
Not Share them with anyone else), including a close-up of my butt with
your "J.Pie" name on it; it was difficult for me to angle the camera
right, but after 20 or greater takes, I got it.

With that, in addition to the future vids, I will send you one fresh or
recent photo of me or something close to me, such as a photo of my
cats, which I've included in this e-mail as well, on a daily basis.

And, something else we can discuss tonight, I was thinking I can come
to you next month; I'll have more money, and I would be most willful to
your place and spend some time with you.

TTYL; Stay Safe,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 13, 2011 9:52am

First, I have just checked my e-mail; I could not find one from you.
Maybe a mistype in the e-mail address happened; IDK. Anyway, I will
have the redone 4th part up later today for you.

Second, attached are some fun photos of Pokemon in my room; not toys.
It is a fun feature on the Free 3DS software from the eShop, Pokedex
3D, with augmented reality (AR). I have constructed a sturdy frame to
hold any of the over 150 AR codes for the 3DS camera to read and
recognize to put Pokemon in our world, out of Lego bricks and plate
pieces. The inner pieces are rearrangable with easy removal and
replacement. I found that I had enough black and white bricks, and
other plate pieces, to make two frames. It's just a little fun thing;
feel free to look up Pokedex 3D on Nintendo.com or GameFAQs.com to
learn more about it. Think of the fun we can have with this too; like
digital pets for real. :) I would have created the codes on papef,
but a) I was unsure of the size and number of pixels to draw. B) The
black ink quantity was an issue. C) I can't create on a computer and
print any out at this time. But this is better anyway; reusable and
changable.

Okie Dokie Lokie, I will check in again later with the video.

Have a good and safe day at the parlor, Sweetie. ;-*
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Christian.}}
{{Email|July 13, 2011 10:08am

Here's a break down for you my pony-baby:

Re-do the last video where we do the nasty in the bathroom. I want you acting like a pornstar and flashing your panties at the camera. Draw a cutie mark on your cute widdle bottom and show it off! Make it be your Sonichu medallion- because that IS you to me and I accept you and it. Then, while you scissor me HARDCORE yell: "Who's your bronie? Yeah, who's your bronie! Yeah, TAKE it Jackie Pie! Take it from your nasty Apple-Chris!"
Do this for two minutes. Sing to me while you do it. Tell me wonderful things. Be my lesbian Bing Crosby. At the very end, I want you to burp and say "DELICIOUS"

*note: Bronie is pronounced BRO-KNEE.

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie}}
{{EmailReply|July 13, 2011 4:36pm

Practice sex and panty flash

Plus, photo is skirt rewrite.

TTYL; Stay Safe, Sweetie.
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 13, 2011 6:47pm

Hey Chris!

Y'know, I've always dreamed of being picked up by a sexy sassy sweet tomgirl at walmart! The most romantic thing a girl could want is to be be swept off her feet in a place with flowers, lingerie, urethral sounding implements, anal douches, propane, and propane accessories all within reach. Can you make a video like this one {{#!:(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1tufujnbzU)}} where you shake your ass and show me how all the tomgirls be at walmart? I want you to hump the air, gyrate those hips, open and close your thighs, stick your head through your legs, wiggle your ass at the camera, and twirl around in a circle (throw some glitter in the air!). Go absolutely FUNKY and CRAZY! I'm squirming and my pussy's gushing like a fire hydrant just thinking about it! You do want to make me happy, right? This would surely get me so hot :D! and waiting for you if you play out this fantasy of mine. :)

Always your's xoxo,

Jackie Pie}}
{{EmailReply|July 14, 2011 4:03pm

These are the photos of the back of my fancier mini skirt that didn't
show up on camera yesterday.

I have looked over the local Wal-Mart, and very cautious and observant,
I scouted earlier today for an aisle hidden from the store's security
cameras; I've found one aisle area in the auto dept. that is hardly
visable of any cameras. This short "walla-walla" may be doable, but I
still have my reasonable doubts with any passing witnesses. Being
caught here is not an option for me.

Anyhoo, I pray that you're having a good and safe day at the parlor.

I'll TTYL; Stay Safe, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3
Apple-Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 14, 2011 7:23pm

iya Apple Chris!

Thanks for the deee-lish pictures! I cannot wait to see tomorrow's video. I'll be calling you at 10 PM after you send them, too :D Good luck tomorrow! And remember to REALLY rock that booty! And after you get done gyrating around the aisles, don't forget to finish up in the dressing room with a sexy tease ghetto booty shake show like you said you would on the phone! So, quick one the in aisle for about a minute, then two in the dressing room. Sing a bit if you can! But I wanna see some ass cheek, BARE NAKED ASS CHEEK, in that video so wear a thong and flip the skirt up so I can see. Draw a cutie mark in marker ON your booty skin so I can see, okay?? Either your tomgirl design or Jackie's Pie. K? :D

Always your's xoxo miss you!
Jackie Pie.}}
{{EmailReply|July 15, 2011 3:23pm

Firstly, I wish to apologize for only the dressing-room portion; the
Wal-Mart was crowded, and as I have stated before, I did Not want to
get caught Or risk being arrested. I was arrested twice before; One of
which led me to being driven to a police dept., fingerprinted,
photographed; damn close to jail time; thank god my family was around
to pick me up and bail me out (there wasn't a bail to pay, but there
Was a trial later, of which I was under a probational watch for half a
year, then I was found innocent). (:0 *sigh* And I apologize for
forgetting the glitter.

Second, I would appreciate it if from here on out, we have no more
on-location (especially in a store or restaurant of any sort) videos.
On one hand, I'd have to record with my digital camera, which saves the
video files in a format unreadable by any of my consoles, and would
require a PC to either reformat it or directly upload it onto YouTube,
which I have been using a computer at my nearest library to upload
with. On the other hand, keeping the videos at home, and in my room, I
can record videos with my PlayStation Eye Camera through the EyeCreate
program, export the video onto the XMB in the readable format, and
directly upload onto YouTube from there, saving me gas in driving to
the library.

Third, I appreciate your ideas for videos, but allow me to surprise you
with my own ideas for satisfying or serenading you in the future
recordings. I promise to surprise you in the near future with a live
from my room recording of a few cake farts (in one video). And I have
come up with an idea for a method to add more air into me to create
multiple farts for the occasion.

One last thing for now, I have been thinking further, I really want to
make sure that I am well-compensated for my hard work for you in these
videos (with regards to the deeds-for-"merchandise" deals I talked to
you about the other night). You, Your Presence and Your Love Are most
certainly worth all of the efforts from me. Another thing, actually,
the practice sex in My room did turn you on; I feel it partially hard
to grasp as to why we'd Have To spend our night(s) together in a hotel
room, when I have demonstrated well that there is plenty of room in
mine to get it on in and be comfortable. I'm just thinking of that for
your benefit of saving money. Plus, before the deeds, and after our
in-person meet-and-greet date, anyway, I really would appreciate you
coming over to my house and meeting my mom and dad in person; they
would appreciate it as well, and I am certain it will make them feel
better to meet the woman I've been having sweetest conversations with
and getting to know for the loong while.

That's all for now, and I will TTYTonight.
Have a good and safe day, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp}}
{{EmailReply|July 15, 2011 5:14pm

The part in the third paragraph in my last e-mail; I've remembered the
discussion we had about that; I have informed you about some of the
things I'd like already, with the Sailor Moon DVDs, the DS game and the
Britney CD. So, please disregard that part of the e-mail.

I'll TTYL,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp}}
{{Email|July 16, 2011 1:36pm

Hey Apple-Chris!

Thanks for putting up with Daddy last night. I had gone out with my new co-workers for a drink after work and when I got home I saw that Mommy dearest had let him get into the liqueur cabinet again. Daddy's kinda bitter about Mike Judge since they knew one another years ago and when you mentioned he was like Hank he flew off the handle. When he's sober he's TOTALLLY not like that but when he's got a lick o' drink the bitter-stuff just bubbles right on over and blows up!!

Anypoo, the Walmart video was supah kawaii! You're so good at booty droppin'. Next time we'll do the video at home, ok?? Teehee!!!

For Tuesday's video I would really, really like for you to do the cake farts video!! I want you to get a hot little thong on and wear it. Then I want you to write, on your bare bottom cheeks, "Awesome Sauce!!" cos that's one of my favorite phrases when it comes to hot stuff, heehee. Write AWESOME on one cheek and SAUCE on the other NICE AND BIG so I can see it without squinting. Then I want you to buy a CHOCOLATE sheet cake and use that for the video!! I want you to start the video with it facing you. Ask the view "You know what I like the most?" then lick your lips and wink. Then say "Cake farts!". Then put the camera into position and start walking over to the cake all sexy like, like you were seducing it! Say "Let's get this DONE! oh yeah, mmmmm..."
Then settle down on top of it and go for a wild ride but super close enough so the camera can get a PERFECT view!! Fart like crazy!!! If you run out of gas, make noises and bounce that ass up and down!

When you're done getting that ass all cake-y, pick up the camera and focus it on your face... and eat some of that cake all sexy like for me! Roll your tongue and wink and make kissy faces while your face is SMEARED AND MESSY with it! Be a cute little cake monster for me!! Meow!!!

This way you can use your handy dandy ps-eye!! =D Sound hot?? I think so!!! I can't wait to hear your sexy sassy cute voice tell me these naughty things!!!

Looking forward to speaking to you after, too! 10 pm, Tuesday, Same time same lovey place!!!

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie}}
{{EmailReply|July 16, 2011 11:49pm

About your step-daddy, I did not mean to actually compare him with
Hank. Actually, it's something else. Straight-up: my family and I, we
have received a number of abusive calls from someone or more who made
bad impersonations of the character, "sellin' propane and propane
accessories; boy, I tell you what" and such shit. To us, it was
perceived as a bunch of Troll calls. And after hearing that talk from
him that night, I felt suspicion, because he sounded Very close to what
I have heard before. I am not accusing anyone, and I do not mean any
offense; I just felt paranoid. Is it possible that your step-dad got
my numbers from you and during past drunk episodes rang me and my
family to give us abuse and hate? I mean, his voice was just Soo close
to what I have heard before. I apologize if I've made you feel
discomfort.

Topic change, the cake farts won't happen that soon, and I have told
you before that I will surprise you with it soon. With that, I
appreciate your enthusiasm with the sex-talk and all, but there is a
limit to how much I can take for a time before it becomes monotonous
and bothers me wrong. I feel it better if the really dirty talk is
decreased; use it sparingly. And there are still a Lot of other things
we can talk about; sex isn't everything, you know.

You are a truly delightful and radiant woman; don't "shoot yourself in
the foot" with too much bad ammo (symbolically and metaphorically). Do
you understand, Sweetheart? There is a time and place for everything.
I Like You; I Care about You; I Love You, Jacklyn. <3

I have another good surprise for you; I got an idea for a set of lyrics
I'm going to write 'bout me being a "Small-Breasted TomGirl." You'll
see in due time. :)

I have my own good ideas too.

B.T.W., if you have Netflix, check out the anime "Nana" through the
Instant Streaming; it's one about two women both named Nana. It is
good.

Stay Safe, Sweetheart.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 17, 2011 7:58pm

Oh, Chris... I don't know... You told me you had something going on in your pocket for me and that you were horny, and now you are not? I am saving myself for you so I am perpetually horny. Have you been relieving yourself? I have not been. I have been keeping myself pure and a new-virgin just for you, my one and only. So please don't act like I am a machine. I am crying again now and I seriously cannot stop. I didn't mean this but I can't help it! I feel so let down and depressed. I really wanted to see cakefarts on Tuesday and now I will not. You told me about the surprise angle but you also told me on the call you were flexible with things since I was out making money for both of us and our future.

You wanted to see me for a week instead of a weekend and I said okay provided you really, really honored me with what I requested of you in return. I guess you're not going to now... I guess you don't want to see me for a week, either... I don't feel very loved now. I fell for your beautiful tomgirl ways and those eyes, those gorgeous eyes!!... I feel horrible and ugly and alone...That super cute and handsome voice of your's haunts my dreams and now... I feel kinda sick now, too. I got in major trouble that night for telling Daddy off because I hated to see him hurt you. He knows I'm dating a man now. As does Mommy... I came out to them and risked my neck because I thought you were worth that risk and effort... I got my chopsticks and perfume set taken away because of it... because all I wanted was you in my life...

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 17, 2011 9:48pm

That's Not what I meant at all. I am still very horny for you. I was
referring to the dirty talking. I want Very Much for our relationship
to work for the very best. And I am going to continue to make the
videos as you suggest, with my own twists. And I'm searching for an
inexpensive chocolate sheet cake for the C.F. video.

Anyway, Remove all doubts from your head, because that's not the case
at all. And I'm sorry about the trouble between you and your parents.
At least at this point where they know about us, they may get used to
the idea (especially with Lars being long gone now (nothing intended)).

I am working and thinking hard on the Robbie/Vulva song and my own
TomGirl song lyrics. I won't disappoint you, Sweetheart, I promise.

I Care about you a lot, Jackie-Pie, and I Love You.

Stay Safe. TTYL,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{EmailReply|July 18, 2011 11:57pm

I found a nice chocolate and fudge cake for $9 at Wal-Mart. I cut
myself a piece beforehand; it was goood. It also had square candy
pieces I removed and ate as well. I showered later, and after becoming
dry, I recorded the video with my PSEye. Unfortunately, I've found
error in attempting to upload it, so I will make the library trip this
afternoon. Attached are post-fart cake photos; I have a few more to
send you later.

I pray you're not still broken up from that past e-mail; I've made a
bad choice of words. The term "Dirty Talk" was misplaced from me when
I typed it. I am very sorry for making you cry with my mistakes in
word choice.

Please reply, so I'll know you're okay. And have a good and safe day.

Lots of Love,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{EmailReply|July 19, 2011 12:50pm

Along with the "Awesome Sauce", as best as I can write it on the inner
reaches of my behind. And check this out, I'm communicating with
myself in a past time on my "Wrist Communicator" (3DS on my arm). LOL.

Have a good and safe day, Sweetheart. I'll TTYTonight.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Kaka Apple Chrisp.}}
{{Email|July 19, 2011 6:12pm

Hi Chris,

Bad news. Mommy decided to take away my laptop and internet and ground me for lying to her and my Dad about you. They also discovered the latest pair of chopsticks I bought on credit and are livid. :( I'm at a friends right now. I don't know when I'll be able to email or call you again because of this but hopefully it won't be for AGES and ages!

Always your's xoxo,
Jackie Pie}}

{{succession
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|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails 29]]
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{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 30]]

Template:Emails

2013-05-16T07:40:37Z

Thsprppr:

{{Navbox
|title= [[Emails]]
|name=Emails

|group1 = Misc. early emails
|list1 = [[Chris E-mails 2004-2006|2004‒06]] • [[Chris E-mails 2007|2007]] • [[Chris E-mails 2008|2008]]

|group2 = [[Megan Schroeder]]
|list2 = [[Megan Emails, 2005-2006|2005‒06]] • [[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007|Jan‒July 2007]] • [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007|Aug‒Dec 2007]] • [[Megan Emails, 2008|2008]]

|group3 = [[Vivian Gee]]
|list3 = [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008|2007‒08]] • [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|2009]] • [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|2010]]

|group4 = [[Blanca Weiss]]
|list4 = [[Blanca Emails, August 2008|Aug]] • [[Blanca Emails, September 2008|Sept]] • [[Blanca Emails, October 2008|Oct 2008]] • [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|Letter]]

|group5 = [[Clyde Cash]]
|list5 = [[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays]] • [[Miyamoto Saga]] • [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] • [[Clyde E-mails]]

|group6 = [[PS3]] Saga
|list6 = [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|Jack Thaddeus]] ([[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|1]] • [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2|2]] • [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3|3]]) • [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]] • [[Katie Bay]] ([[Katie Bay e-mails 1|1]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|2]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|3]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 4|4]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 5|5]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|6]]) • [[Regina e-mails]] • [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]

|group7 =[[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag]]
|list7 =[[Mailbag 1|1]] • [[Mailbag 2|2]] • [[Mailbag 3|3]] • [[Mailbag 4|4]] • [[Mailbag 5|5]] • [[Mailbag 6|6]] • [[Mailbag 7|7]] • [[Mailbag 8|8]] • [[Mailbag 9|9]] • [[Mailbag 10|10]] • [[Mailbag 11|11]] • [[Mailbag 12|12]] • [[Mailbag 13|13]] • [[Mailbag 14|14]] • [[Mailbag 15|15]] • [[Mailbag 16|16]] • [[Mailbag 17|17]] • [[Mailbag 18|18]] • [[Mailbag 19|19]] • [[Mailbag 20|20]] • [[Mailbag 21|21]] • [[Mailbag 22|22]] • [[Mailbag 23|23]] • [[Mailbag 24|24]] • [[Mailbag 25|25]] • [[Mailbag 26|26]] • [[Mailbag 27|27]] • [[Mailbag 28|28]] • [[Mailbag 29|29]] • [[Mailbag 30|30]] • [[Mailbag 31|31]] • [[Mailbag 32|32]] • [[Mailbag 33|33]] • [[Mailbag 34|34]] • [[Mailbag 35|35]] • [[Mailbag 36|36]] • [[Mailbag 37|37]] • [[Mailbag 38|38]] • [[Mailbag 39|39]] • [[Mailbag 40|40]] • [[Mailbag 41|41]] • [[Mailbag 42|42]] • [[Mailbag 43|43]] • [[Mailbag 44|44]] • [[Mailbag 45|45]] • [[Mailbag 46|46]] • [[Mailbag 47|47]] • [[Mailbag 48|48]] • [[Mailbag 49|49]] • [[Mailbag 50|50]] • [[Mailbag 51|51]] • [[Mailbag 52|52]] • [[Mailbag 53|53]] • [[Mailbag 54|54]] • [[Mailbag 55|55]] • [[Mailbag 56|56]] • [[Mailbag 57|57]]• [[Mailbag 58|58]] • [[Mailbag 59|59]] • [[Mailbag 60|60]] • [[Mailbag 61|61]] • [[Mailbag 62|62]] • [[Common Questions]]

|group8 = [[The Wallflower]]
|list8 = [[Wallflower E-mails|1]] • [[Wallflower E-mails 2|2]] • [[Wallflower E-mails 3|3]] • [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]

|group9 = [[Jackie Romy]]
|list9 = [[Jackie E-mails|1]] • [[Jackie E-mails 2|2]] • [[Jackie E-mails 3|3]] • [[Jackie E-mails 4|4]] • [[Jackie E-mails 5|5]] • [[Jackie E-mails 6|6]] • [[Jackie E-mails 7|7]] • [[Jackie E-mails 8|8]] • [[Jackie E-mails 9|9]] • [[Jackie E-mails 10|10]] • [[Jackie E-mails 11|11]] • [[Jackie E-mails 12|12]] • [[Jackie E-mails 13|13]] • [[Jackie E-mails 14|14]] • [[Jackie E-mails 15|15]] • [[Jackie E-mails 16|16]] • [[Jackie E-mails 17|17]] • [[Jackie E-mails 18|18]] • [[Jackie E-mails 19|19]] • [[Jackie E-mails 20|20]] • [[Jackie E-mails 21|21]] • [[Jackie E-mails 22|22]] • [[Jackie E-mails 23|23]] • [[Jackie E-mails 24|24]] • [[Jackie E-mails 25|25]] • [[Jackie E-mails 26|26]] • [[Jackie E-mails 27|27]] • [[Jackie E-mails 28|28]] • [[Jackie E-mails 29|29]] • [[Jackie E-mails 30|30]]

|group10 = Other
|list10 = [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole Smithey]] • [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Autism Awareness]] • [[Muscle bra#The bra e-mail|Muscle bra]] • [[Masturbating and squirtin'|Evan E-mails]] • [[White knight E-mails]] • [[Mailbag]]
}}
<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's [[E-mails|e-mail]] correspondence. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Template:Emails

2013-05-16T07:21:50Z

Thsprppr:

{{Navbox
|title= [[Emails]]
|name=Emails

|group1 = Misc. early emails
|list1 = [[Chris E-mails 2004-2006|2004‒06]] • [[Chris E-mails 2007|2007]] • [[Chris E-mails 2008|2008]]

|group2 = [[Megan Schroeder]]
|list2 = [[Megan Emails, 2005-2006|2005‒06]] • [[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007|Jan‒July 2007]] • [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007|Aug‒Dec 2007]] • [[Megan Emails, 2008|2008]]

|group3 = [[Vivian Gee]]
|list3 = [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008|2007‒08]] • [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|2009]] • [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|2010]]

|group4 = [[Blanca Weiss]]
|list4 = [[Blanca Emails, August 2008|Aug]] • [[Blanca Emails, September 2008|Sept]] • [[Blanca Emails, October 2008|Oct 2008]] • [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|Letter]]

|group5 = [[Clyde Cash]]
|list5 = [[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays]] • [[Miyamoto Saga]] • [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] • [[Clyde E-mails]]

|group6 = [[PS3]] Saga
|list6 = [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|Jack Thaddeus]] ([[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|1]] • [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2|2]] • [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3|3]]) • [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]] • [[Katie Bay]] ([[Katie Bay e-mails 1|1]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|2]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|3]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 4|4]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 5|5]] • [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|6]]) • [[Regina e-mails]] • [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]

|group7 =[[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag]]
|list7 =[[Mailbag 1|1]] • [[Mailbag 2|2]] • [[Mailbag 3|3]] • [[Mailbag 4|4]] • [[Mailbag 5|5]] • [[Mailbag 6|6]] • [[Mailbag 7|7]] • [[Mailbag 8|8]] • [[Mailbag 9|9]] • [[Mailbag 10|10]] • [[Mailbag 11|11]] • [[Mailbag 12|12]] • [[Mailbag 13|13]] • [[Mailbag 14|14]] • [[Mailbag 15|15]] • [[Mailbag 16|16]] • [[Mailbag 17|17]] • [[Mailbag 18|18]] • [[Mailbag 19|19]] • [[Mailbag 20|20]] • [[Mailbag 21|21]] • [[Mailbag 22|22]] • [[Mailbag 23|23]] • [[Mailbag 24|24]] • [[Mailbag 25|25]] • [[Mailbag 26|26]] • [[Mailbag 27|27]] • [[Mailbag 28|28]] • [[Mailbag 29|29]] • [[Mailbag 30|30]] • [[Mailbag 31|31]] • [[Mailbag 32|32]] • [[Mailbag 33|33]] • [[Mailbag 34|34]] • [[Mailbag 35|35]] • [[Mailbag 36|36]] • [[Mailbag 37|37]] • [[Mailbag 38|38]] • [[Mailbag 39|39]] • [[Mailbag 40|40]] • [[Mailbag 41|41]] • [[Mailbag 42|42]] • [[Mailbag 43|43]] • [[Mailbag 44|44]] • [[Mailbag 45|45]] • [[Mailbag 46|46]] • [[Mailbag 47|47]] • [[Mailbag 48|48]] • [[Mailbag 49|49]] • [[Mailbag 50|50]] • [[Mailbag 51|51]] • [[Mailbag 52|52]] • [[Mailbag 53|53]] • [[Mailbag 54|54]] • [[Mailbag 55|55]] • [[Mailbag 56|56]] • [[Mailbag 57|57]]• [[Mailbag 58|58]] • [[Mailbag 59|59]] • [[Mailbag 60|60]] • [[Mailbag 61|61]] • [[Mailbag 62|62]] • [[Common Questions]]

|group8 = [[The Wallflower]]
|list8 = [[Wallflower E-mails|1]] • [[Wallflower E-mails 2|2]] • [[Wallflower E-mails 3|3]] • [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]

|group9 = [[Jackie Romy]]
|list9 = [[Jackie E-mails|1]] • [[Jackie E-mails 2|2]] • [[Jackie E-mails 3|3]] • [[Jackie E-mails 4|4]] • [[Jackie E-mails 5|5]] • [[Jackie E-mails 6|6]] • [[Jackie E-mails 7|7]] • [[Jackie E-mails 8|8]] • [[Jackie E-mails 9|9]] • [[Jackie E-mails 10|10]] • [[Jackie E-mails 11|11]] • [[Jackie E-mails 12|12]] • [[Jackie E-mails 13|13]] • [[Jackie E-mails 14|14]] • [[Jackie E-mails 15|15]] • [[Jackie E-mails 16|16]] • [[Jackie E-mails 17|17]] • [[Jackie E-mails 18|18]] • [[Jackie E-mails 19|19]] • [[Jackie E-mails 20|20]] • [[Jackie E-mails 21|21]] • [[Jackie E-mails 22|22]] • [[Jackie E-mails 23|23]] • [[Jackie E-mails 24|24]] • [[Jackie E-mails 25|25]] • [[Jackie E-mails 26|26]] • [[Jackie E-mails 27|27]] • [[Jackie E-mails 28|28]] • [[Jackie E-mails 29|29]]

|group10 = Other
|list10 = [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole Smithey]] • [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Autism Awareness]] • [[Muscle bra#The bra e-mail|Muscle bra]] • [[Masturbating and squirtin'|Evan E-mails]] • [[White knight E-mails]] • [[Mailbag]]
}}
<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's [[E-mails|e-mail]] correspondence. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

Jackie E-mails 29

2013-05-16T07:21:14Z

Thsprppr: Created page with "More e-mails between Chris and Jackie. Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent. {{Email|June 16, 2011 6:59pm Hey Chri..."

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|June 16, 2011 6:59pm

Hey Chris!

So here's the deal for 4th of July: Me and some of my girlfriends are all going to be meeting in Washington, D.C. We'll be staying the whole weekend in a hotel there, touring around the capitol's landmarks, and then seeing the huge parade they do on the 4th. You can come meet us for that!! I wanted to let you know right away as soon as I found out because it's still about three weeks away, so that should give you plenty of time to make sure you can go. Keep the weekend free!!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 17, 2011 12:28pm

Wow. D.C. That is a stretch for me, but I think after discussion of
details between us, it may be doable for me to make the trip.

Firstly, I'll need more details, like which hotel y'all be staying in;
if I may bunk with y'all, and I really would appreciate one day of
in-person face time in C-Ville, maybe one day next week or weekend.

I want to feel comfirmed of me having a place to stay at on the
weekend, which was an issue recectly a few months ago with MagFest.
I'd really like to feel I can go without my mom and dad going crazy.
I'll tell you more in another e-mail later today; I have a father-son
outting in a few minutes.

TTYL.
<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|June 17, 2011 8:06pm

First, let me point out that during this time, you have gone back to
Lars.

So, this was about last November (or was it October). I had
pre-registered myself for MagFest a month beforehand. Dana gave me an
extra incentive for going, her female cousin was visiting; some hey-hey
fun was a possibility. But, I was unable to afford a hotel or motel
room, even with the M.F. discount. I was pretty much going for broke
there.

I inform my mom and dad of the trip to MagFest only, and I told them
I'd be either sleeping in the lobby or in my car. I felt totally at
unease to tell them of the "bonus round" (to put it in a p.c. phrase).
My mother insisted I Not go, because of the crime risk and chilly
temperatures. And to nail a deep nail into the coffin, she threatened
that if I went, I would not be allowed entry back into the house; Lock
Change included. Come push to shove; I stay home that weekend; $40
down the drain, and a missed opportunity. I needed to be sure I had a
Point A to return to, and that there was actually a solid Point B for
me to arrive at.

Factor in what happened years ago in my road trip to Ohio on how Both
my parents reacted; putting a police bounty on my head among all of the
emotinal trauma-dramas. I did not feel at ease to put them and myself
through that again.

So, that is Why I need all of the details here; If I make this trip on
the whim, I risk not having my Home to return to, and I need
confirmation on the Solid destination(s). And I Can Not afford at all
costs to put my mom and dad at their ages through soo much stress and
trauma... it could spell DEATH for one or Both of them. And I would be
homeless, out on the streets, within a few months. This Cinderella
situation saddens me greatly. Do you understand what I am telling you
here? As much as I need you in my life, in person, I can not be so
reckless. [:_(

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

I await the details in your reply. Please schedule the face time
between us next week or weekend.

TTYL. Stay Safe with Care,
<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 20, 2011 10:12am

Hey Chris! Sorry I haven't written lately, just busy all weekend. Just wanted to let you know that I got your story and I understand, I'll let you know all the details as soon as they're set in stone.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 20, 2011 1:54pm

Thank you. :)}}
{{EmailReply|June 21, 2011 3:38pm

I was thinking a bit further in our face-time meet. At a previous
time, I would have suggested "at the Starbucks kiosk in Fashion Square"
for the location, but I have been to TGIFridays and Applebees (next to
Toys R Us) here. So, when you think of the day and time in the very
near future here, we can meet up at one of the choice restaurant/bars
as well. :)

I still await the July 4th details, and I am looking forward to meeting
you this week or weekend. <3<3<3

XOXOXOXOXO Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|June 27, 2011 12:13am

I haven't heard from you in about a week. I really wanted the face
time last week. Now there's about a week 'til July 4th. In this case,
absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder; I'm feeling neglected.
What have you been so preoccupied with that's keeping you from even
checking in?

I made the effort in asking you out for fireworks, and in response I
have received little effort from you even after we've made an
agreement/understanding between us. I feel a lack of relationship
management skill from you. How can this relationship between you and
me stand with such scattered communication, and lack of, present? ',:(

I await your response.

Christian.}}
{{Email|June 27, 2011 10:11pm

Wow, you're one to talk about relationship management skills. You've always been good at doing things for our relationship, like coming to visit me when I asked you to, or cleaning your bathroom when I asked you to, or making a comic when I asked you to, or remembering my name when I asked you to. Oh wait, you never did any of those things like I asked, and you lied to me about at the bulk of them. Seriously, what do you ever offer? When did you ever care all the times I told you about how your lies and apathy were making ME feel neglected?

What has ME so preoccupied that I can't check in? Why can't YOU get off your ass and write an email? Oh, you must be too busy playing games again. Well anyway, I have the hotel information ready and for two nights it would cost $180 a piece for each person, including you. Don't worry about getting the money to me right away, just bring a check with you when we meet up. The hotel is in Arlington, the plan is to meet there Sunday afternoon, then check in and stay the night of the 3rd and the 4th, then head out Tuesday morning.

By the way, one of my cousins drank herself stupid a few days ago and decided to go for a joyride in her car. She got clipped by a garbage truck and was in a coma for three days. She's woken up again - off and on - but thanks to the tubes sticking in her chest she can't really talk all that much. So yes, actually, there was something preoccupying me over the past few days. I was thinking it would be nice to see you over the 4th to take my mind off things, but you better leave that 'tude at home. I mean, it would have been nice to have you checking in with me, talking to me. But just because I was too busy to write back, you just shut down and waited for me, and then assumed the worst and attacked me like I bear all the responsibility for keeping this relationship going. Last I checked, showing effort was YOUR weak point, not mine.

Well I'm sorry if I sound in a bad mood but I don't really feel like talking about that anymore. Let me know if you're onboard and then we can just forget this fight and then have a nice holiday.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 28, 2011 8:15pm

Gee, I am really sorry to hear what happened to your cousin, and I
understand you not wanting to talk or think about it. I do not like to
think of how sickly and whatnot my mom and dad are, yet I am constantly
reminded of it, along with my rut. I pray for your cousin's full
recovery.

For your information, yes, I was waiting and waiting for your message
the past week. If I had known of your recent trauma, I would not have
reacted so coldly. But I had no idea, and I have been checking my
e-mail daily the past week for one from you; not finding one made me
feel crestfallen and questioning. But now I do know, so it is cool,
and I apologize for the attitude in my last message.

Let's talk about the date. $180 for both nights is too much for me at
this time with my limited finances. But I think I have a solution, I
can leave the early morning of the 4th, meet up with y'all at your
hotel before leaving for the fireworks, we spend the day together and
see if we end up spending the 4th night together, and I will pay my 90
for the night then. After that, we can evaluate how we feel about each
other and estimate better where this relationship is going. :)

But I still need the address and name of the hotel in Arlington, so I
can get directions on MapQuest and better estimate my departure and
arrival times, I'm thinking of getting there at 8 or 9 am.

Please reply swiftly.

Stay Safe, Sweetie.
<3<3<3
Christian}}
{{Email|June 28, 2011 10:07pm

Hey Chris,

Thanks for writing back. Hey, I appreciate you wanting to meet me halfway like that, it means a lot. But I've been talking about you a lot with my parents over the past few weeks, and they'd actually like to talk to you for a bit and get to know you before I meet up with you. Would you be available for a phone conversation with them? Like, tomorrow night?

Let me know.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 29, 2011 4:59am

Okie-dokie, I will converse with your parents tonight. Let's try for
about 8:00 pm; call me on my cell @ 434-760-0848, and please inform me
of the number to watch for in your reply so I would be most definitely
able to pick up.

TTYL,
Christian. <3<3<3}}
{{EmailReply|June 30, 2011 7:34pm

I waited by the phone earlier tonight, and I didn't hear from you or your parents. And I did not find an e-mail reply either during the hour. So, what's up? Did you mean for Thursday or Friday night? In any case, I will continue to watch my e-mail and wait for your call.
Please reply and Stay Safe,
<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 30, 2011 7:37pm

Sorry Chris, had a really busy couple of days. We'll call tomorrow night.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 30, 2011 9:51pm

I was feeling worried for a while here, but with recent events, it is
understandable. I will still require the hotel's address before 12:01
AM, Sunday, so I'll have the day's time to MapQuest the directions,
check my budget for the trip; got to allow room for gas and food for
myself, aside from the room for the night, and inform my family of the
trip and details. If I do not have the hotel info, this trip will be
disabled for me. PLEASE do Not go "waiting until the last minute" on
me here; in this scenario, tardiness is not an option.

I will expect your call tomorrow (Friday) night at 8:00 PM, give or
take a few minutes. I'll just pick up and pray it's not somebody else.
I should have never put myself on the internet with my work years ago.
Internet Fame is a bitch; unless you have a professional manager to
sort it all out for you.

TTYL, and Stay Safe,
<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 1, 2011 10:38pm

Hey Chris.

Well, there was a bit of a snag. My mom is being all fussy about calling you, she says she doesn't want to do it, and my dad is kind of in agreement with her. I spent over an hour talking to them about why they wouldn't, but I couldn't get much out of either one of them. My mom basically just kept saying that she had mixed feelings about you, because you don't have a job or a place of your own and stuff like that. She kept trying to talk me into going back with Lars because of his fancy new job (he got a job as a speedboat mechanic, did I ever mention that? He sent me a postcard from Cabo San Lucas where he's living now); I kept trying to tell her to drop Lars and just call you but she kept getting more and more emotional and flabbergasted, I finally just gave up.

Anyway, we are staying at the Embassy Suites in D.C. The address is 1250 22nd St NW in D.C. Oh, and please wear your finest tomgirl attire! I want to show off the new you to my girlfriends. :) :)

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 2, 2011 12:54am

I can empathize with your mom's concerns with my situations; I
understand.

I've just confirmed the destination, and I have the directions. I had
trouble with mapquest, but I lucked out on googlemaps. I'm sorting out
my funds for the trip, and the possible night; I'm mostly good on that.
Wow! The Embassy hotel; that sounds classy. I have to admit, though,
I'm feeling nervous on the trip and the whole thing. It's normal, I
think, but hopefully, I'll feel better after arriving. I really wish
you and I had some face time, or that I could hear your voice in
telephone conversation, earlier, but all that happened to your cousin
last week; it couldn't have been helped.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

I'll check in agaon later. Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|July 2, 2011 9:11pm

I've just told my mother about the trip; she "said nothing" at first,
then later went on with the escort (car) falling apart possibly,
telling me not to take the younger Mitsubishi either, her and being
responsible for what happens to either car due to them being under
their names, the heavy crime rate in DC, objecting to me making the
trip alone ("Without a buddy"), making assumptions of the trip being
solely for sex with a woman, and she continued to object even with "Linnea
and her friends" being the people I would be with And having the hotel
room to "platonically bunk with her in". :(

Now I am feeling More nervous and unsure. I'm going to lay this for
you as well, I currently have about $100 available to me; I had a
bigger than expected bill payment to make, and I have tried to make
another 100 back by selling my old DSi XL, but the Pawn Shops won't
give more than 50 (not enough for me), and after putting it on
craigslist with a "Limited Time Offer" ending on Sunday, I've received
No calls from anyone other than Trolls, pranksters and "fans". I've
also contacted some of my fellow church congregation acquaintances with
little luck there either. I have been fretting, worrying and working
my head and ass off to make certain I had the allowance for the hotel
room option. BTW, what is with the "180 per person" thing with you and
your friends, were y'all getting individual rooms each? If the night
ended good with you and me, we'd be sleeping the night in the same
room, I woild think I'd either pay 45 (half the room's night), or
nothing due to you having already paid for your two nights stay. I
have been getting less sleep lately, and my internal clock has been soo
screwed up, I'm sleeping the daylight away through the afternoon and
late morning hours.

<nowiki>*sigh* *pant* *pant* *pant* *sigh*</nowiki>

I have been working very hard to try to make this happen, I even
psyched myself up with the successful sale of the handheld, which
lasted only a short while, and now with my mom giving no support, I am
feeling like I'm going to fail again, and I just feel Absolutely
Terrible and Miserable about it. I feel I have really bitten off more
than I could chew with this. I really wish you had agreed to watching
the fireworks at McIntire Park, as I had originally proposed instead of
going extravagantly to Washington freaking DC. Wouldn't your friends
have been cool with an equally satisfying firework show and park day in
somewhere closer to Staunton than DC (I don't know location relevance
much or such).

Please reply.
I'll TTYL, and I am Really, Truely, Devestantly Sorry for failing
again. It's MagFest all over again, but a LOT Worse.

Love, <3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 3, 2011 7:58pm

Wow, Chris.

I cannot stop crying right now. I so badly wanted to see your smile, to feel you close to me- to be able to look you in the eyes!! :'( But it's like everyone's against us being together! I feel like Juliet and you're my Romeo (except I'm not 13 nor dead- yet?).
Well, I don't care Chris. Even if I cannot be holding your hands, this 4th of July I still want our first date to take place and those memories to form. Could you do this for me? Could you make our date happen, even if I'm a state away?

I want you to get all dolled up on the 4th. And I want you to get one of your blow up dolls and dress it up too- but as me. Print out my picture or draw a picture of my face and put it over their's. Put me in gorgeous clothes so I look every part the proud girlfriend of the hottest Tomgirl in all of Virginia. Show me around town, take me to McDonalds or Starbucks or the movies. Let's have a ball and strut our stuff! Do my make up and pretend I can do your's! Then I want us to end our romantic evening at McIntire Park, watching the fireworks together under the stars. xoxox :D :D

I want to experience this with you. Please film the entire thing. and PLEASE do not upload it to youtube!!! I want you to send it privately to me via a link from http://megaupload.com or http://mediafire.com. I don't want ANY STUPID JEALOUS troll eyes seeing our special moment. This is for you and I and no one else. And if you want to make it naughty, please show me that side of you. ;) If you want to give me kisses and cute hugs or make silly faces, share with me this! I want to see it all and pretend I'm there.

Then, when you are done... I will call you after watching it. If it inspires me... if you really try your hardest... I will drive down to see you and pay for the hotel room myself. You won't have to pay a penny because I know you would have taken care of me in DC if you could have. I want to reward you because I know your heart is in the right place. And if you really, really show me how much it is... ;) I'll make sure you know mine is, too.

Let's make a silver-lining to this sad, rain cloud together. Show me Chris-- show me you, me, your love and our first date.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 3, 2011 8:35pm

I Really wanted to come to you too. And I am most capable of showing
you a good time locally.

I do not upload any videos onto the internet, especially those that
would incriminate me, and even if on the contrary, I am unable to
upload any videos at all at this time.

If you are serious about the relationship and making it work mutually,
without the use of the internet, we can still schedule another date
with just you and me in Charlottesville. I can take you to see a
movie, get dinner at Applebees (maybe make it a Karaoke night on any
Monday there), and we can get a room at the DoubleTree in C-Ville, or
come back to my place, and see what happens there. Leisurally walks in
a park, a mall (Downtown Mall or Fashion Square).

I feel you with empathy in your reply; I have shown you my good efforts
in planning, trying to get a blessing from my family, getting money
together. There is the "monkey wrench" that can screw up the plan
sometimes. "Juliet", show me for real in this climax how the feeling
between you and I are mutual and true. All you have to do really is
simply have our dates happen in Charlottesville; you have a place for
yourself here available for you to return to too.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? Another way I can put
it simply, quoting Taylor Swift, "Juliet, take me somewhere where we
can be alone".

Love, <3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 3, 2011 10:14pm

Oh. Okay then.

So you won't come see me. You won't make me a video. You won't ever plan or save up any cash so that you can actually afford to do fun things or come be with me. Yet you can afford to buy video game after video game after video game. The PSN tracker on the cwcki says you just got both Grand Theft Auto IV and Fallout New Vegas. Assuming $19.99 a piece, that's $40 right there. So you can afford those, but you can't save up a little cash to come see me.

You haven't shown any "good efforts". Mommy said no and you wilted like a dead flower. You don't even bother trying to reason with her or put your foot down. If your car is in bad shape, why not take a greyhound bus? It's not even a 2-hour trip, that'd be dirt-cheap. But no, mommy says no, and that's all there is to it.

No Chris, I am serious about the relationship. I'm not the one who has anything to prove. You're the one who's on thin ice. You need to prove this to me. Just upload the video to mediafire. It will be between you and me. You can't worry about incriminating yourself because it's just between you and me. Refusing to do this tells me you don't trust me. I'm not the one whose trust is under question.

I really want this to work out. You need to do your part. You won't come to DC. And you asked me to come to Charlottesville on a whim, I can't just change my plans, they're my friend's plans too. You say why can't we come "closer" to Staunton, completely ignoring the concept that maybe Staunton isn't convenient for me or my friends right now. It's always all about what's most convenient for you and you alone. After the fourth I might come down, but you really need to prove it to me that it'll be worth my while.

If you won't come to DC, you need to do the video. One or the other. This is on you.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|July 4, 2011 3:10pm

Firstly, I got those two pieces of software for 10 apiece; one from a
Yard Sale and the other was on big sale at Best Buy.

I trust you, Jacklyn; it is the security of the internet all-around And
the other people who hack and abuse it I do not trust. No New Video.

Plus my car Did have a problem; a battery link came loose, it needed
some antifreeze and it's in the shop for another malfunction that came
up. And I have heard of the recent bad weather in DC putting the
firework show in question anyway.

I did not mean for any immediate change of plans; I meant for the next
date attempt to be on another day.

Enjoy your time with your friends and stay safe.

<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|July 4, 2011 4:03pm

So you just reject my ideas outright without even considering them, and you don't even bother offering anything in their place. You just say "have a good time" and that's it. You've been getting all huffy and pissed off for weeks now because I never came to meet you at your damn Starbucks across from the Wal-Mart or whatever your exact plan was, but when I ask YOU to come see ME suddenly you don't seem to care nearly as much about getting your precious face-time with me, you can't be bothered to try. Washington DC is our nation's capitol, do you have any idea how amazing the celebration and show here is going to be? Way better than Staunton. And it's less than two hours away from you. And yet you can't be bothered to try.

Lars is the one who caused problems before. He's out of the picture. He's in fucking Mexico. None of your trolls would have any idea where to look for a video if you secretly sent it to me, nor would they have any reason to go looking for it because they wouldn't even know it exists.

It's too late for you to come to DC now I guess, unless you left immediately. So do the video. Do the video. Do the video. If not, I guess you don't really care about having any face-time with me.

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 29]]

Jackie E-mails 28

2013-05-16T07:01:48Z

Thsprppr:

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|June 3, 2011 10:35pm

Hey Chris!

Sorry I haven't written back sooner, hectic couple of days.

I really like the purse! You have such an eclectic design milieux, I love seeing the stuff that you make. Don't worry about being cautious with this picture - I understand
you being a bit wary, what with my email account being hacked and whatnot in the past. I saved a copy of the picture so I could keep it but deleted the email right after.
Your cool designs are safe with me. ;)

Anyway, thanks for your kind words regarding my mother's bad past. She has had a hard life, many trials and hardships have awaited her. She has a happy life now but it still
pains her if these sore subjects are brought up so my family likes to just focus on the good times.

Thanks for asking about Blueberry! Would you believe it, he flew over to my friend's house when he left? Right through her window! My friend had a hell of a time getting
Blueberry into a corner where she could capture him and keep him safe, but eventually she did and called me, and I was able to go retrieve him. (My friend lives right down
the street but still, I think it's damn lucky he wound up there.) Anyway, he's safe and sound, and I'm glad to have him back.

So what else is going on with you? How are your parents? Are they still giving you any guff over your lifestyle? I feel like I'm aching to hear about what's been going on
with you because I haven't been able to talk to you in a couple days.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 4, 2011 10:10am

I am happy to hear about Blueberry's safe return to your care. :)
Thank you for your compliment of my purse's front compiliation. The
Squinkies are optional for hooking onto such a size ring with a
bracelet hook followed by placing any Squinkie on the peg. I am
looking into other craft ideas involving Squinkies (without damaging
them, and without gluing them); as an avid collector, I feel better in
allowing my craft using decorative collectables to be optionally
removable. I mean, it is soo stylish and super cute, but conditions
may wear on them between weather, and newspaper ink (I think).

Mom and Dad still give me grief on being Tomgirlly sometimes, but not
as much due to not wearing my skirts and high heels in front of them.
I will still wager that if I have a pretty and smart woman like you by
my side, and in mutual true love, appreciate me in fullest makeup and
dress in front of them a number of times, they will more likely back
off. Or otherwise Positive Verbal or Hand-Written Feedback on me and
my feminine attire from women. The other night, I went out to Sheetz
for my mother to get her two hot dogs for a dollar; some male sees me
in one of my tanks and jeans; fucking asks me "Are you gay?" "No, I AM
a Tomgirl", I replied. I felt pissed off to be asked that. I:(
Especially after ALL of the shit I got from the Trolls and
Cyber-Bullies with their Mislabeling me and shit.

Hell, if anything, I would feel a LOT better being mistaken for a woman
or even better and more accurate, a Lesbian. :) Upon self-reflection,
I feel that all things considered... Between not caring much for the
Majority of the male population, coping and socializing more easily and
being best attracted to women, me being a Tomgirl and being most
comfortable in skirt, heels, sexy/cute top or full dress, long, curled
hair and makeup... I would Best fit in at an All-Woman (Lesbian) Bar. :)

Have you checked out the Tomboy/Tomgirl Forum yet? I wrote among my
posts the story of me starting and feeling comfort in using the ladies'
restroom. I prefer to squat over standing. ;) In case I have not
mentioned it before, my avatar on that forum is an image of Applejack
from the new "Friendship is Magic" generation of My Little Pony. I
would have gone with Rainbow Dash, but someone else on there has
already chosen her for their avatar, and I did not want to come off as
an avatar copycat. And with my sense of picking choice designs and
fashion sense, I feel more like Rarity. I am very complex. I wish I
could afford the prices to have my face, legs, arms and torso waxed in
a nail salon or spa, so I wouldn't have to worry about shaving. Yes, I
do go Brazillian too. ;)

On another topic, the pastor of my church will be moving in a few
weeks, and I have drawn a cute drawing of her baptizing a cow (she
really likes cows; she has a collection of cow figures; so cute). And
I felt inspiration to write an elaborate, sweet poem on there as well.
I will share the drawing and poem with you after the image-sharing
check. I am also going to frame the original drawing (keeping a
photocopy for myself) and attach a double set of Squinkies to the edge.
I was hoping to find a cow Squinkie, but after checking online AND in
the stores, a cow has not yet been designed. Otherwise, I would have
like 4 or 6 cows on the frame. Also, with the drawing, I think it is
one that even the people of India would appreciate; they worship the
cow there. :)

That's all for now. I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 5, 2011 8:38pm

Hey Chris!

You're welcome about the purse! It's always nice to see you make use of your creative talents because you have such a deep well of ideas. And it's also practical to make sure that you don't let any of it become damaged or worn more than necessary. You should keep it up!

I have taken quite a look at the tomgirl forum. It looks really cool! It looks like you've found some pretty intelligent and friendly folks there to make friends with. But I notice, you only have about 7 posts, and you haven't been back there in a few days. Are you losing interest? I don't think you should, these are people who share a lot in common with you and you should try to participate more and become friends with them. Especially because it looks like they do regular meet-ups, so you can hang out with some new friends in real life. I found a thread about it here: {{#!: http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=27&sid=94131f2d5ebcf6bee8c1caf474493af3}}
So you should try to get to know these people some more, I think you'll be glad you did.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing your cow drawings, please show me as soon as you feel comfortable. I'll talk to you more later!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 6, 2011 11:00am

Well, I have also been busy here and there with family times and dramas
(also getting in on the freebies from the reopened PlayStation Store).
I still feel uneasy in online socializing, I am skeptical with getting
too close with people online, and I have to be cautious of any possible
cyber-bullies. It is one thing to tell true stories while remaining
under a cloak of anonimity and screen name; it is entirely something
else in pouring one's heart out and risk being found out who he/she is
in real life, followed by risk of being made fun, blackmail and all
that shit. Not to mention my discomfort with trying to cope with other
males. ...Pretty much, I am in constant observation-only mindset when
it comes with the other Tomgirls to verify and further learn the ins
and outs of being one myself.

What else is going on with you, Jackie? And I still long for meeting
you in person. I would most definitely feel more comfortable and
likely to lift up all of my emotional walls upon meeting you in person
and hanging out for a while. I do not mean to put pressure on you or
anything like that; if anything I have been feeling most of the
emotional pressure.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 6, 2011 6:40pm

Oh. Well if you don't want to do anything with them why did you want me to take a look at the forum?

It looks legit to me but if you'd rather not make any friends, that's your choice. But Chris, you have to consider that I am not a tomgirl. I can be sympathetic and all, but I don't know what it's like to be a tomgirl, and I just can't give you all the support you need. But these people at this forum are just like you - they can offer the advice, emotional support, and strategies you need to make yourself the best tomgirl you can be. Don't be scared of what you can accomplish, Chris. I believe in you!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 8, 2011 11:26am

It is not that making friends isn't an option, I'm just being cautious.
I intend to learn and accept the typed support on the forum.

Also, in a way, you, Jackie, Are a tomgirl. You are a woman, and you
like most everything of your gender; the difference being the vag.
Also, you may also take to consideration the tomboys as well. I feel
you can best empathize with me being a tomgirl if you consider what it
would be like if you were a tomboy. It's a thought anyway.

I also will be posting more of my thoughts on the forum, so please feel
free to read them for yourself.

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 8, 2011 4:15pm

What are you talking about? I am not a tomboy or a tomgirl. I know you wish I was and I wish I was too so that I could better empathize with you, but I don't have that feeling of gender confusion. That's just the way life works out sometimes - I'm a girl through and through. Being a girl is not the same thing as being a tomgirl any more than being a boy is the same as being a tomboy.

Well, I probably won't take a look at the forum again; it's your place of sanctuary and support, and I don't want to intrude on it. But definitely keep me up to date on any new friends you make there and activities you get into with them!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 8, 2011 10:51pm

I'll let you know of anything of interest. I did just find an obvious,
possible pretender on the forum earlier tonight. Someone pretending to
be a woman. I posted a reply calling the pretender out.

I'm trying to think of something else to write about; I'm feeling a
blank from fatigue. I'll hit the hay shortly. On my mind constantly,
though, is wondering if you've got your next C-Ville trip planned yet.
And I would like to know what else has been new with you lately too.

I'll check in again later.

Stay safe with care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 8, 2011 11:19pm

Well, I think you're being a bit hasty. You say "possible" pretender, so you don't know that she is one. And these people have regular meetups, don't they? So they probably know each other. And being tomboys and tomgirls, I'm sure they've dealt with persecution the same as you have, so the people who run that forum are probably wise to it and know how to sniff it out. Go back and read that person's replies, see what she says. I bet they are all good people. Let me know, though.

Well anyway, if you're coming up short on ideas, you could tell me how the hunt for a new place to live is going. I'm feeling kind of tired right now too, so I'll write more later. Let me know how things on the forum go!!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 9, 2011 5:58pm

House hunt? I still have little funds; I am hardly ready to house
hunt. I have told you before that Rocky is helping me get help from
state services on that.

Anyhoo, I've just checked the forum; that post I told you about that I
contested, it's gone. That person's post was removed. It looks like I
may have been right about him/her.

Also, I have completed my craft around my drawing for my pastor. I am
in a good mood, and I have not seen the purse pic on the Cwcki, so I
feel confident in sharing the photos with you. :) And in good news of
the topic, I have found from my 3DS's browser, I can browse for the
images saved on the SD card, so they're attached to this one. Enjoy.

I'll e-mail ya later, sweetie.

Stay Safe with care,
Christian.

P.S.

Let me know if you are unab:e to view the third image; it may be a
3D-format image; I am uncertain, as this is the first time sending
images from a 3DS.}}
{{Email|June 10, 2011 2:11am

Are you referring to the person named "William"? Not only are her posts still there, but she responded directly to your accusation. Where are you looking that you thought her posts were gone? It's clearly right here: {{#!: http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311}}

Well, I'm really tired, I had a long day at work. I'll write more later tomorrow.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 10, 2011 9:21pm

Weird; I did look there. I feel surprised. I read down it; I stand
corrected. Perhaps there was truth in screen name: william, but there
was only one day between "tippy"'s June 9 entry and his post-date
entry. But, it doesn't matter; it's online talk mostly.

Did you get the images I attached to the previous message? Please
share your comments on them if you did get them.

Also, I have thought up something kawaii we can talk about; Makeup and
Fashion ideas. To begin, I offer you this to imagine and think about:
how would you make me up? What color eyeshadow(s), blush me(?), etc.?
Have fun with it, and please tell me every detail. :) Also, I really
need help in waxing myself (removing hair from my arms, legs, torso,
brazil). You may delight yourself in playing out how you'd instruct
me, or for heck, givinb me the waxing pain for pleasure. tee hee.

I'll bug ya later, cutie.
Stay safe with care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 12, 2011 12:04pm

Hey Chris!

I'm sorry I didn't write today, I've had a suuuper stressful day and had no time. But I just wanted to write before I go to bed to say that your makeup and fashion idea is awesome!! I'll write more tomorrow with some cool and cute ideas. Thanks for the fun suggestion! :)

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 13, 2011 7:30pm

Well. I made you smile again. Sweet. ;)

I'll tell you something else that'll keep it there longer, I feel some
more confidence in you, and I've took a chunk of the emotional wall
down. I've also a cute idea, if you're in C-Ville beforehand, we can
have a fun meeting date, followed, a few days later, sharing fireworks
at McIntire Park. And if the mood's good, we will be seeing double
fireworks. Please let me know if the timing is good for you.

I look forward to reading how you'll make me over.

Let's have a little mutual fun. :)

Stay safe, Sweetie,
Chris.}}
{{EmailReply|June 15, 2011 11:02am

I haven't heard from you in a while; I guess you've been busy. It's
cool.

What are your thoughts on the July 4th date I suggested in my last
e-mail? Is it doable with your schedule, emotions and all? I would
really like to share the fireworks with someone special, You, this
year. The fireworks last year were good; I have some photos, but it
was lame to me being by myself the whole afternoon beforehand. Please
tell me you and I can share the day together. <3

Please pardon me if I sound a bit anxious or pressure-putting; I'm
feeling excitement in a unique opportunity to share with you, and I
really Like and Want You, Jackie. :)

TTYL. Stay Safe with Care.
XOXOXOXOXO
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian. :)}}
{{Email|June 15, 2011 5:48pm

Hey Chris!

I might be able to do 4th of July fireworks with you. Me and some friends are meeting somewhere but I don't know where yet; it'd be cool to introduce you to some of them! I'll let you know what the plan is as it develops.

Now, as for your hawai'i make-up ideas that we can talk about. Since you mention waxing, I think you should wax your eyebrows. And then draw them back in with eyebrow pencils! And as for make-up, some lip liner for your luscious lips. And some heavy eye shadow! Specifically, light purple would look really good on you. Then you can be my little Kaka Cholita! I can't wait to see the new you!!

Oh, I had some other questions I keep forgetting to ask you but now I remember so I'll ask. How is your being a tomgirl going to affect the future of the Sonichu series? Like, is Sonichu himself going to be a tomgirl, or will Chris-Chan Sonichu have a tomgirl form? You should make me a drawing of Chris-Chan Tomchu, Chris!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 16, 2011 1:15am

You and I will have a fun day together. I look forward to it sweetly. :)
And meeting your friends will be good too. I insist on you and me
meeting up before July 4th as well; we can further confirm the details
and all that good stuff. I'll let you pick the meeting date, time and
(in C-Ville) location.

This is going to be fun and good for us.

As for integrating the Tomgirl into the future pages, it is not as you
have guessed. Robbie Sonee will be the Tomgirl of the Sonichu &
Rosechu family household. There is a cute story behind that as well,
which I promise to tell you about on our date.

On the makeup ideas, they are good. 2/3, I am ahead of you; I use
lipliner with lipstick, and I have purple eyeshadow to compliment the
blue eyeshadow I have too. I'll let you help me with the eyebrow
pencil later. We'll have fun together in front of the makeup mirror
too. :) Another similar topic, I wear 3 pairs of earrings now, so
that's 6 holes on my head. LOL I have worn hoop earrings for a while
too, but they felt uncomfortable to me when I shake my head sometimes.
I may try a dangling pair after All of the ear holes are permanent,
which should be about mid-July. I am also thinking of a naval
piercing; I feel bothered that I have to go to a tattooist to make the
hole, and they charge more than the price of the average naval ring. I
already purchased the naval ring, intend to put in, at the Piercing
Pagoda; I learned then about a tattooist being required.

Please, keep me posted of our meeting date details. Thank you, Jackie. ;-*

XOXOXOXO
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.
A.K.A. Kaka Kreshanda.
}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 28]]

Jackie E-mails 28

2013-05-15T08:54:58Z

Thsprppr:

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|June 3, 2011 10:35pm

Hey Chris!

Sorry I haven't written back sooner, hectic couple of days.

I really like the purse! You have such an eclectic design milieux, I love seeing the stuff that you make. Don't worry about being cautious with this picture - I understand
you being a bit wary, what with my email account being hacked and whatnot in the past. I saved a copy of the picture so I could keep it but deleted the email right after.
Your cool designs are safe with me. ;)

Anyway, thanks for your kind words regarding my mother's bad past. She has had a hard life, many trials and hardships have awaited her. She has a happy life now but it still
pains her if these sore subjects are brought up so my family likes to just focus on the good times.

Thanks for asking about Blueberry! Would you believe it, he flew over to my friend's house when he left? Right through her window! My friend had a hell of a time getting
Blueberry into a corner where she could capture him and keep him safe, but eventually she did and called me, and I was able to go retrieve him. (My friend lives right down
the street but still, I think it's damn lucky he wound up there.) Anyway, he's safe and sound, and I'm glad to have him back.

So what else is going on with you? How are your parents? Are they still giving you any guff over your lifestyle? I feel like I'm aching to hear about what's been going on
with you because I haven't been able to talk to you in a couple days.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 4, 2011 10:10am

I am happy to hear about Blueberry's safe return to your care. :)
Thank you for your compliment of my purse's front compiliation. The
Squinkies are optional for hooking onto such a size ring with a
bracelet hook followed by placing any Squinkie on the peg. I am
looking into other craft ideas involving Squinkies (without damaging
them, and without gluing them); as an avid collector, I feel better in
allowing my craft using decorative collectables to be optionally
removable. I mean, it is soo stylish and super cute, but conditions
may wear on them between weather, and newspaper ink (I think).

Mom and Dad still give me grief on being Tomgirlly sometimes, but not
as much due to not wearing my skirts and high heels in front of them.
I will still wager that if I have a pretty and smart woman like you by
my side, and in mutual true love, appreciate me in fullest makeup and
dress in front of them a number of times, they will more likely back
off. Or otherwise Positive Verbal or Hand-Written Feedback on me and
my feminine attire from women. The other night, I went out to Sheetz
for my mother to get her two hot dogs for a dollar; some male sees me
in one of my tanks and jeans; fucking asks me "Are you gay?" "No, I AM
a Tomgirl", I replied. I felt pissed off to be asked that. I:(
Especially after ALL of the shit I got from the Trolls and
Cyber-Bullies with their Mislabeling me and shit.

Hell, if anything, I would feel a LOT better being mistaken for a woman
or even better and more accurate, a Lesbian. :) Upon self-reflection,
I feel that all things considered... Between not caring much for the
Majority of the male population, coping and socializing more easily and
being best attracted to women, me being a Tomgirl and being most
comfortable in skirt, heels, sexy/cute top or full dress, long, curled
hair and makeup... I would Best fit in at an All-Woman (Lesbian) Bar. :)

Have you checked out the Tomboy/Tomgirl Forum yet? I wrote among my
posts the story of me starting and feeling comfort in using the ladies'
restroom. I prefer to squat over standing. ;) In case I have not
mentioned it before, my avatar on that forum is an image of Applejack
from the new "Friendship is Magic" generation of My Little Pony. I
would have gone with Rainbow Dash, but someone else on there has
already chosen her for their avatar, and I did not want to come off as
an avatar copycat. And with my sense of picking choice designs and
fashion sense, I feel more like Rarity. I am very complex. I wish I
could afford the prices to have my face, legs, arms and torso waxed in
a nail salon or spa, so I wouldn't have to worry about shaving. Yes, I
do go Brazillian too. ;)

On another topic, the pastor of my church will be moving in a few
weeks, and I have drawn a cute drawing of her baptizing a cow (she
really likes cows; she has a collection of cow figures; so cute). And
I felt inspiration to write an elaborate, sweet poem on there as well.
I will share the drawing and poem with you after the image-sharing
check. I am also going to frame the original drawing (keeping a
photocopy for myself) and attach a double set of Squinkies to the edge.
I was hoping to find a cow Squinkie, but after checking online AND in
the stores, a cow has not yet been designed. Otherwise, I would have
like 4 or 6 cows on the frame. Also, with the drawing, I think it is
one that even the people of India would appreciate; they worship the
cow there. :)

That's all for now. I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 5, 2011 8:38pm

Hey Chris!

You're welcome about the purse! It's always nice to see you make use of your creative talents because you have such a deep well of ideas. And it's also practical to make sure that you don't let any of it become damaged or worn more than necessary. You should keep it up!

I have taken quite a look at the tomgirl forum. It looks really cool! It looks like you've found some pretty intelligent and friendly folks there to make friends with. But I notice, you only have about 7 posts, and you haven't been back there in a few days. Are you losing interest? I don't think you should, these are people who share a lot in common with you and you should try to participate more and become friends with them. Especially because it looks like they do regular meet-ups, so you can hang out with some new friends in real life. I found a thread about it here: {{#!: http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=27&sid=94131f2d5ebcf6bee8c1caf474493af3}}
So you should try to get to know these people some more, I think you'll be glad you did.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing your cow drawings, please show me as soon as you feel comfortable. I'll talk to you more later!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 6, 2011 11:00am

Well, I have also been busy here and there with family times and dramas
(also getting in on the freebies from the reopened PlayStation Store).
I still feel uneasy in online socializing, I am skeptical with getting
too close with people online, and I have to be cautious of any possible
cyber-bullies. It is one thing to tell true stories while remaining
under a cloak of anonimity and screen name; it is entirely something
else in pouring one's heart out and risk being found out who he/she is
in real life, followed by risk of being made fun, blackmail and all
that shit. Not to mention my discomfort with trying to cope with other
males. ...Pretty much, I am in constant observation-only mindset when
it comes with the other Tomgirls to verify and further learn the ins
and outs of being one myself.

What else is going on with you, Jackie? And I still long for meeting
you in person. I would most definitely feel more comfortable and
likely to lift up all of my emotional walls upon meeting you in person
and hanging out for a while. I do not mean to put pressure on you or
anything like that; if anything I have been feeling most of the
emotional pressure.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 6, 2011 6:40pm

Oh. Well if you don't want to do anything with them why did you want me to take a look at the forum?

It looks legit to me but if you'd rather not make any friends, that's your choice. But Chris, you have to consider that I am not a tomgirl. I can be sympathetic and all, but I don't know what it's like to be a tomgirl, and I just can't give you all the support you need. But these people at this forum are just like you - they can offer the advice, emotional support, and strategies you need to make yourself the best tomgirl you can be. Don't be scared of what you can accomplish, Chris. I believe in you!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 8, 2011 11:26am

It is not that making friends isn't an option, I'm just being cautious.
I intend to learn and accept the typed support on the forum.

Also, in a way, you, Jackie, Are a tomgirl. You are a woman, and you
like most everything of your gender; the difference being the vag.
Also, you may also take to consideration the tomboys as well. I feel
you can best empathize with me being a tomgirl if you consider what it
would be like if you were a tomboy. It's a thought anyway.

I also will be posting more of my thoughts on the forum, so please feel
free to read them for yourself.

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 8, 2011 4:15pm

What are you talking about? I am not a tomboy or a tomgirl. I know you wish I was and I wish I was too so that I could better empathize with you, but I don't have that feeling of gender confusion. That's just the way life works out sometimes - I'm a girl through and through. Being a girl is not the same thing as being a tomgirl any more than being a boy is the same as being a tomboy.

Well, I probably won't take a look at the forum again; it's your place of sanctuary and support, and I don't want to intrude on it. But definitely keep me up to date on any new friends you make there and activities you get into with them!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 8, 2011 10:51pm

I'll let you know of anything of interest. I did just find an obvious,
possible pretender on the forum earlier tonight. Someone pretending to
be a woman. I posted a reply calling the pretender out.

I'm trying to think of something else to write about; I'm feeling a
blank from fatigue. I'll hit the hay shortly. On my mind constantly,
though, is wondering if you've got your next C-Ville trip planned yet.
And I would like to know what else has been new with you lately too.

I'll check in again later.

Stay safe with care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 8, 2011 11:19pm

Well, I think you're being a bit hasty. You say "possible" pretender, so you don't know that she is one. And these people have regular meetups, don't they? So they probably know each other. And being tomboys and tomgirls, I'm sure they've dealt with persecution the same as you have, so the people who run that forum are probably wise to it and know how to sniff it out. Go back and read that person's replies, see what she says. I bet they are all good people. Let me know, though.

Well anyway, if you're coming up short on ideas, you could tell me how the hunt for a new place to live is going. I'm feeling kind of tired right now too, so I'll write more later. Let me know how things on the forum go!!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 9, 2011 5:58pm

House hunt? I still have little funds; I am hardly ready to house
hunt. I have told you before that Rocky is helping me get help from
state services on that.

Anyhoo, I've just checked the forum; that post I told you about that I
contested, it's gone. That person's post was removed. It looks like I
may have been right about him/her.

Also, I have completed my craft around my drawing for my pastor. I am
in a good mood, and I have not seen the purse pic on the Cwcki, so I
feel confident in sharing the photos with you. :) And in good news of
the topic, I have found from my 3DS's browser, I can browse for the
images saved on the SD card, so they're attached to this one. Enjoy.

I'll e-mail ya later, sweetie.

Stay Safe with care,
Christian.

P.S.

Let me know if you are unab:e to view the third image; it may be a
3D-format image; I am uncertain, as this is the first time sending
images from a 3DS.}}
{{Email|June 10, 2011 2:11am

Are you referring to the person named "William"? Not only are her posts still there, but she responded directly to your accusation. Where are you looking that you thought her posts were gone? It's clearly right here: {{#!: http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311}}

Well, I'm really tired, I had a long day at work. I'll write more later tomorrow.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 10, 2011 9:21pm

Weird; I did look there. I feel surprised. I read down it; I stand
corrected. Perhaps there was truth in screen name: william, but there
was only one day between "tippy"'s June 9 entry and his post-date
entry. But, it doesn't matter; it's online talk mostly.

Did you get the images I attached to the previous message? Please
share your comments on them if you did get them.

Also, I have thought up something kawaii we can talk about; Makeup and
Fashion ideas. To begin, I offer you this to imagine and think about:
how would you make me up? What color eyeshadow(s), blush me(?), etc.?
Have fun with it, and please tell me every detail. :) Also, I really
need help in waxing myself (removing hair from my arms, legs, torso,
brazil). You may delight yourself in playing out how you'd instruct
me, or for heck, givinb me the waxing pain for pleasure. tee hee.

I'll bug ya later, cutie.
Stay safe with care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|June 12, 2011 12:04pm

Hey Chris!

I'm sorry I didn't write today, I've had a suuuper stressful day and had no time. But I just wanted to write before I go to bed to say that your makeup and fashion idea is awesome!! I'll write more tomorrow with some cool and cute ideas. Thanks for the fun suggestion! :)

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 13, 2011 7:30pm

Well. I made you smile again. Sweet. ;)

I'll tell you something else that'll keep it there longer, I feel some
more confidence in you, and I've took a chunk of the emotional wall
down. I've also a cute idea, if you're in C-Ville beforehand, we can
have a fun meeting date, followed, a few days later, sharing fireworks
at McIntire Park. And if the mood's good, we will be seeing double
fireworks. Please let me know if the timing is good for you.

I look forward to reading how you'll make me over.

Let's have a little mutual fun. :)

Stay safe, Sweetie,
Chris.}}
{{EmailReply|June 15, 2011 11:02am

I haven't heard from you in a while; I guess you've been busy. It's
cool.

What are your thoughts on the July 4th date I suggested in my last
e-mail? Is it doable with your schedule, emotions and all? I would
really like to share the fireworks with someone special, You, this
year. The fireworks last year were good; I have some photos, but it
was lame to me being by myself the whole afternoon beforehand. Please
tell me you and I can share the day together. <3

Please pardon me if I sound a bit anxious or pressure-putting; I'm
feeling excitement in a unique opportunity to share with you, and I
really Like and Want You, Jackie. :)

TTYL. Stay Safe with Care.
XOXOXOXOXO
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian. :)}}
{{Email|June 15, 2011 5:48pm

Hey Chris!

I might be able to do 4th of July fireworks with you. Me and some friends are meeting somewhere but I don't know where yet; it'd be cool to introduce you to some of them! I'll let you know what the plan is as it develops.

Now, as for your hawai'i make-up ideas that we can talk about. Since you mention waxing, I think you should wax your eyebrows. And then draw them back in with eyebrow pencils! And as for make-up, some lip liner for your luscious lips. And some heavy eye shadow! Specifically, light purple would look really good on you. Then you can be my little Kaka Cholita! I can't wait to see the new you!!

Oh, I had some other questions I keep forgetting to ask you but now I remember so I'll ask. How is your being a tomgirl going to affect the future of the Sonichu series? Like, is Sonichu himself going to be a tomgirl, or will Chris-Chan Sonichu have a tomgirl form? You should make me a drawing of Chris-Chan Tomchu, Chris!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|June 16, 2011 1:15am

You and I will have a fun day together. I look forward to it sweetly. :)
And meeting your friends will be good too. I insist on you and me
meeting up before July 4th as well; we can further confirm the details
and all that good stuff. I'll let you pick the meeting date, time and
(in C-Ville) location.

This is going to be fun and good for us.

As for integrating the Tomgirl into the future pages, it is not as you
have guessed. Robbie Sonee will be the Tomgirl of the Sonichu &
Rosechu family household. There is a cute story behind that as well,
which I promise to tell you about on our date.

On the makeup ideas, they are good. 2/3, I am ahead of you; I use
lipliner with lipstick, and I have purple eyeshadow to compliment the
blue eyeshadow I have too. I'll let you help me with the eyebrow
pencil later. We'll have fun together in front of the makeup mirror
too. :) Another similar topic, I wear 3 pairs of earrings now, so
that's 6 holes on my head. LOL I have worn hoop earrings for a while
too, but they felt uncomfortable to me when I shake my head sometimes.
I may try a dangling pair after All of the ear holes are permanent,
which should be about mid-July. I am also thinking of a naval
piercing; I feel bothered that I have to go to a tattooist to make the
hole, and they charge more than the price of the average naval ring. I
already purchased the naval ring, intend to put in, at the Piercing
Pagoda; I learned then about a tattooist being required.

Please, keep me posted of our meeting date details. Thank you, Jackie. ;-*

XOXOXOXO
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.
A.K.A. Kaka Kreshanda.
}}

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{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 28]]

Template:Emails

2013-05-15T08:42:19Z

Thsprppr:

{{Navbox
|title= [[Emails]]
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Jackie E-mails 28

2013-05-15T08:41:41Z

Thsprppr: Created page with "More e-mails between Chris and Jackie. Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent. {{Email|June 3, 2011 10:35pm Hey Chr..."

Jackie E-mails 27

2013-05-15T08:33:07Z

Thsprppr: yeah

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|May 20, 2011 7:24pm

Really, you wanted to honor your mother? That's odd, you lie to your parents and take advantage of them a hell of a lot, but whatevs.

What about Rocky's words was confusing to you? Since you have that photographic memory, you should just repeat what she told you to me, and I can help you sort through it and understand it better. Just write it out in your next email.

Anyway, since you don't really feel like talking about real issues like your job search, I'm kind of at a loss for what to talk about. I find my mind drawing a blank right now about movies like Cannibal Holocaust for reasons I don't really know. Well, talk to you soon!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 21, 2011 8:02pm

Why would you be at a loss of what to talk about? Especially after
I've suggested you tell me more about yourself AND your family. Plus
we can discuss other current events. Job hunting IS an important
topic; I have failed time and again at getting one; I feel
uncomfortable talking about things I obviously suck bad at.

Photographic Memory goes with VISUAL Memory; details discussed in
conversation, UNWRITTEN, is AUDIO Memory, which is soo different. But
I did shorthand some of those details of the thing Rocky informed me
about. It has to do with the Intellectual & Developmental Combination
Plan to be put into Legal Action in July, 2012. We'll be working with
someone who works for the State who has authority to paper development.

Department of Mental Disabilitiyes & Region can only get Waiver for
assistance for stay @ home & no institute and get $ for job hunt and
such. Apply for Waiver for Developmental Disability for future ability
to Housing. Virginia Long-Term Care Waiver (online look-up).

That's all I have on that.

Please Tell me more about yourself and your family.

I'll e-mail later. Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 21, 2011 9:57pm

You don't "suck bad" at getting a job. It's impossible to say that you suck at it because you don't even bother trying. You applied at two whole places nearly a year ago and haven't gotten up off your ass once to try again since. You sit on your hands and try to explain away your lack of trying to others with lies about how "employers will google me and find the cwcki", even though you know perfectly well that's not how background checks work.

I'm starting to get a picture of what Rocky's help is going to do for you, with a government-assisted job search program, but I don't really understand why it matters to you looking for a job now. I mean, July 2012 is over a year away, and if you actually put time into looking now you could get a job long before then. You're surviving comfortably on your tugboat right now, why do you need even MORE free money to do something you should be doing in the first place? How will getting more welfare help you get a job any easier? Just go get a job now. Go look. Go apply. Go DO something.

Answer me one question honestly Chris: Do you, in all seriousness, actually WANT to get a job and move out on your own? If so, what are you doing to achieve it? Waiting for Rocky to do it all isn't doing anything. Are you sure you wouldn't just rather let other people take care of you while you use their money to buy video games and cosmetics for the rest of your life? Because that's not what I'm interested in. I'm not interested in being your caretaker.

Jackie}}
{{Email|May 24, 2011 2:46pm

Chris, where have you been?

I'm so exhausted right now. My little parakeet Blueberry flew out the window two days ago. I have no idea where he is right now and I'm so scared.

Where are you???}}
{{EmailReply|May 24, 2011 10:07pm

[No text is present, Chris sent a blank email]}}
{{Email|May 25, 2011 10:38pm

Chris? You sent me a blank email with nothing in it. WHat's going on?

Anyway, I'm sorry I have been kind of a pill lately, I've just been having a bad couple of weeks. I'm tired of thinking negative thoughts. I need to get my mind off stuff, let's talk about positive things. Anything new going on with you?

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 26, 2011 - 1:51am

I originally had my concerns for your missing parakeet and such typed
in my last e-mail; I must have pressed the wrong button before sending
it. I'm sorry. And I am sorry to hear about Blueberry going missing.
I pray for his safe return to your care.

Also, I have been hired to be the volunteer Church Photographer. I've
made a few new friends recently from going out for Karaokee and Fridays
After 5. My mom and dad are doing well. I have been made aware of a
Tomboy/Tomgirl forum site that's been around for over two years (they
had to change to a new page a month ago after a site crash).
http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/

You can tell me more about yourself and your family to get your mind
off of your trouble-bubbles. Also, have you figured when you'll be
able to come to C-Ville and meet me, or are you still recovering?

TTYL. Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 28, 2011 2:37pm

Hey that's okay that I didn't get your email, I guess you were distracted, it would've been nice to have a serious discussion but I know you've been spending most of your time lately playing Hannah Montana. No biggie.

Well since you aren't going to be pursuing a job or moving out, I'm glad at least you have started a hobby in taking pictures for your church. I bet it feels really good to just get out and get some variety like that! I know you've been having trouble getting along with your parents lately, so I think just spending some time out of the house and throwing yourself into some activity will be good for all of you. And you made some new friends? That's awesome!! I know how shy you can be so I'm glad you're meeting new people to hang out with. Tell me about them! What are their names? What are they like, what kind of things do they do?

As for my parents, well, I can give you the rundown. My father's from Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days. Then one day he decided he wanted to be an engineer, so he found some good schools and started applying around here. He got accepted to Virginia Tech and his mom got stoked, she said "you're packing your bags and moving to Roanoke". And that's how he came to be in Virginia.

My mother's story is a bit different from my father's, and a bit more interesting. She comes from Los Angeles originally, way out in California. She never went to college after high school initially, she spent her early 20's as a waitress in a little diner. Actually, a really freaky thing happened to her when she was young: There was this crazy guy who came along and tried to murder her after she got off work one night. The guy almost succeeded too, except that a good samaritan saved her life and got her away from the attacker. The guy pursued both of them for days, I think he actually shot up a bunch of cops while doing so, killing a few of them. Eventually the murderer killed my mother's protector, but she managed to kill him in self-defense by trapping him in some big crushing press (they were in a factory at the time, I think the murderer worked there or something, I don't know how they all wound up there). But before her protector died, the two of them shared a night of intimacy, during which my half-brother was conceived.

A few years after that, my father and some of his college friends went to L.A. on spring break, and they were doing body shots in the club where my mother happened to have taken a job. My father slipped that lime into my mother's mouth and their eyes met, and both knew it was meant to be. Soon after my father graduated and my mother moved out to Virginia to be with him, and they got married. I was born a few years later. I'm still to this day not allowed to ask my mother directly about what happened with the murderer all those years ago (It's a very traumatic subject for her), but my father has told me some things that she told him: Apparently, the guy was absolutely crazy, when he came at her he was ranting about her needing to die or else his race was going to die in the apocalypse in the future, I guess he thought she was like the anti-christ or something. I don't know what race he was talking about, my dad said he looked like some eastern european.

Anyway, as for my half-brother: He was like 8 years older than me and we never had a very strong relationship. He was kind of a bad seed, always getting into trouble when he was a teenager, he smoked all the time, stole money, did vandalism, other petty crimes. He actually caused a lot of fights for our family. A little before he turned 18, he ran away and said he didn't want to come back, and he refuses to talk to any of us now. Last I heard he moved back to Los Angeles, but I think he's just kind of living off the grid, semi-homeless. I don't know if he has a job or not. It's really sad because I think he had some mental illness or instability, he always got so angry and impulsive and was really paranoid about stuff. Sometimes I think about him and hope he's doing okay but he's really not a part of any of our lives anymore.

Well anyway, tell me about this Tomgirl forum you found! Have you gotten involved there? Are your new friends tomgirls/tomboys from there too? I bet you can make more new friends on there. I'll take a look at the forum a little later but let me know how it goes for you! Get really involved! I'm so glad that you're getting out there and being active like that. It's going to be really good for you in the long run.

Oh, and I'm not exactly sure when I'll be free to hang out, I'm sorry, my schedule is just slammed at the moment. It seems like I don't get a free moment to just step back and rest even these days. I've got to rearrange some things so I have more energy and time to do stuff. I'll keep you posted.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 29, 2011 5:33pm

I haven't received an e-mail from you in a while. How are you? Are
you still having troubles? Has Blueberry come back? Also, are you
having troubles with your family too? And if my requests of talking
about your family have bothered you, I do apologize for that.

I've just had my mother complain about me wearing my mini skirts after
finding two of them in the recent laundromat trip.

On the positives, we're all safe and well here. I'm recovering good
from the butchered haircut from a couple of weeks ago. The karaoke
Mondays at Applebees have been good and fun. The trolls have been
adding very little to the Cwcki, and they have not found any photos
I've recently shared with Molly via e-mail. I have memorized Katy
Perry's "Teenage Dream" lyrics successfully. "I'ma get your heart
racing in my skin tight jeans tonight". :)

I pray some good has happened for you, Jackie. Please reply and let me
know what's been going on with you.

Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 29, 2011 6:02pm

Hey Chris. I sent you an email yesterday, curious that you didn't receive it. Maybe the same error caused it that made your previous email blank. Anyway, I'll copy what I sent to you again here.

Hey that's okay that I didn't get your email, I guess you were distracted, it would've been nice to have a serious discussion but I know you've been spending most of your time lately playing Hannah Montana. No biggie.

Well since you aren't going to be pursuing a job or moving out, I'm glad at least you have started a hobby in taking pictures for your church. I bet it feels really good to just get out and get some variety like that! I know you've been having trouble getting along with your parents lately, so I think just spending some time out of the house and throwing yourself into some activity will be good for all of you. And you made some new friends? That's awesome!! I know how shy you can be so I'm glad you're meeting new people to hang out with. Tell me about them! What are their names? What are they like, what kind of things do they do?

As for my parents, well, I can give you the rundown. My father's from Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days. Then one day he decided he wanted to be an engineer, so he found some good schools and started applying around here. He got accepted to Virginia Tech and his mom got stoked, she said "you're packing your bags and moving to Roanoke". And that's how he came to be in Virginia.

My mother's story is a bit different from my father's, and a bit more interesting. She comes from Los Angeles originally, way out in California. She never went to college after high school initially, she spent her early 20's as a waitress in a little diner. Actually, a really freaky thing happened to her when she was young: There was this crazy guy who came along and tried to murder her after she got off work one night. The guy almost succeeded too, except that a good samaritan saved her life and got her away from the attacker. The guy pursued both of them for days, I think he actually shot up a bunch of cops while doing so, killing a few of them. Eventually the murderer killed my mother's protector, but she managed to kill him in self-defense by trapping him in some big crushing press (they were in a factory at the time, I think the murderer worked there or something, I don't know how they all wound up there). But before her protector died, the two of them shared a night of intimacy, during which my half-brother was conceived.

A few years after that, my father and some of his college friends went to L.A. on spring break, and they were doing body shots in the club where my mother happened to have taken a job. My father slipped that lime into my mother's mouth and their eyes met, and both knew it was meant to be. Soon after my father graduated and my mother moved out to Virginia to be with him, and they got married. I was born a few years later. I'm still to this day not allowed to ask my mother directly about what happened with the murderer all those years ago (It's a very traumatic subject for her), but my father has told me some things that she told him: Apparently, the guy was absolutely crazy, when he came at her he was ranting about her needing to die or else his race was going to die in the apocalypse in the future, I guess he thought she was like the anti-christ or something. I don't know what race he was talking about, my dad said he looked like some eastern european.

Anyway, as for my half-brother: He was like 8 years older than me and we never had a very strong relationship. He was kind of a bad seed, always getting into trouble when he was a teenager, he smoked all the time, stole money, did vandalism, other petty crimes. He actually caused a lot of fights for our family. A little before he turned 18, he ran away and said he didn't want to come back, and he refuses to talk to any of us now. Last I heard he moved back to Los Angeles, but I think he's just kind of living off the grid, semi-homeless. I don't know if he has a job or not. It's really sad because I think he had some mental illness or instability, he always got so angry and impulsive and was really paranoid about stuff. Sometimes I think about him and hope he's doing okay but he's really not a part of any of our lives anymore.

Well anyway, tell me about this Tomgirl forum you found! Have you gotten involved there? Are your new friends tomgirls/tomboys from there too? I bet you can make more new friends on there. I'll take a look at the forum a little later but let me know how it goes for you! Get really involved! I'm so glad that you're getting out there and being active like that. It's going to be really good for you in the long run.

Oh, and I'm not exactly sure when I'll be free to hang out, I'm sorry, my schedule is just slammed at the moment. It seems like I don't get a free moment to just step back and rest even these days. I've got to rearrange some things so I have more energy and time to do stuff. I'll keep you posted.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 31, 2011 7:45am

Wow. That is awful what happened to your mother with her attacker;
thank God and Jesus for her heroic knight. My mother has had her share
of pursuing attackers as well; thank God and Jesus for her safety as
well. She remembers her episodes better than I; among which I can
recall, she did have trouble with someone who came in and robbed her
family's house during her childhood. Also, she got something broken
after being tackled by a football player while she was a cheerleader in
High School. And she twisted her ankle doing the Twist at a dance.

Your half-brother and mine, Cole, share very similar stories. Cole was
born with hip problems, and later one school day some other kid shoved
him into the side of a bus, hurting his head badly. He was not raised
by his birth father, but by our mother and a step father who is one of
my mom's exes. Cole (to him, regretfullest), gave our mom away at her
wedding to my father. After then, he's left her to seek his carrer and
fortune and whatnot. I met him during our one trip to California where
he was attending college. The last time I saw him was over half a
decade ago at a Weston Family Christmas Party. Now he, like yours,
keeps farthest distance from me and mom in New York, living with his
girlfriend and Her family (possibly married by now) and working as a
Movie Reviewer. Mental Illnesses And Family Cutoff; quite a common sad
story among a portion of the world population. I sometimes think of
him and how he's doing. All I have to do is look up his most recent
"Cole Smithey" video on his website.

For your information, I played that H.M. game for a spot of feminine
influance. I have not played it since after earning one of the easiest
Platinum Trophies. And I am trying my hardest to refrain from having
to ONLY talk about gaming. Which is why I have been encouraging
talking about other things.

Among the new friends I've met are a few gals who work at
T.G.I.Fridays; few of which also hang out at Applebees Monday nights
for Kareokee. There's Jessica, Tamika and Cassie, plus I know another
Jessie at the R-Ville Wal-Mart, and Emily at Sephora of F.Square. I've
only known them a few weeks, and I know little about them. All I can
say about them is that they're all good, friendly women with their own
satisfied romance histories. Nothing has happened with me involved
there.

You may check out the Tomboy/Tomgirl forum for yourself at
http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/; I've posted a few things so far
on there with intention to post some more. There isn't much on there
now, they recently had a site crash late April, 2011, and had to move
to this address. Confidentially, my handle on there is KookyDashy,
with Applejack for my avatar.

Lastly for now, I've recently started looking further into the
Squinkies, so we can girl-talk about that if you want.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}

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|nextlink = [[Jackie E-mails 28]]
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{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 27]]

Jackie E-mails 24

2013-05-15T08:25:07Z

Thsprppr: Undo revision 165727 by Thsprppr (talk)

Jackie E-mails 24

2013-05-15T08:23:48Z

Thsprppr: Added more e-mails ... moving on to Jackie E-mails 25

On 7 December 2010, only a couple of weeks after Chris has cut contact with her, Jackie renewed her correspondence with him. While several videos Chris made for Jackie after the renewal of their relationship were eventually leaked,<ref>For the relevant examples see [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date]]‎, [[Little Tomboy Blue]]‎, [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter]]‎, [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]].</ref> no recording of the pair's communications have been revealed until 27 [[April 2013]], when an email from Chris to Jackie dated 5 [[August 2011]] (seen at the bottom of the page) was leaked on the CWCki forums. Further [http://www.mediafire.com/view/?y1pp1lop9wx6hdv emails] between the two spanning from December 2010 to [[July 2011]] were leaked on 6 [[May 2013]]. Help in transcribing the correspondence will be much appreciated.

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|December 7, 2010 - 7:15pm

Hey Chris! How's it going? Just wanted to check in. How is the outside socialization thing going? Have you met a lot of new people or gone new places since you stopped talking to me? Or are you still just sitting alone playing video games all day? The PSN counts as internet you know, so you're being a hypocrite if you're still enslaved to that thing.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|December 7, 2010 - 7:36pm

Hey, Jackie. Well, currently, I'm not making much progress in making
new friends, but I have been going out more. I am still frozen and
clammed up in mass public.

And for your information, I said SOCIALIZING on the Internet was bad,
NOT the whole Internet in general. Yet while I do sometimes play on
PSHome, a social Gaming Network, I still am frozen in that public
setting with my Avatar, and I mainly focus on the Single-Player
exploring and play.

How are things with you and Lars?

Stay Safe and Well,
Christian.}}
{{Email|December 7, 2010 - 8:03pm

Well, Lars and I are doing okay. He's still in addiction counseling right now - not that he's had any problems or relapses or such, but he's being proactive and just setting up a good support system for himself. We're both looking into the future, you know how it is.

I guess I was confused when you said the internet was bad. What exactly about internet socialization is so bad? Is it just about the trolls you've met? Or is it because none of your relationships online have worked out thus far?

You know, maybe you should try going on facebook. I know you used to do well talking to people there a long time ago. And plus, the thing about facebook is that trolling can't really work on facebook. Maybe join a group on there and chat up some new people, share your common interests. You could use an alter ego if you want, since I know you wouldn't want people searching for the name Christian Weston Chandler. Just a thought.

Jackie}}
{{Email|December 19, 2010 - 8:42pm

Hey Chris! Long time no talk. What's been happening with you lately? I just wanted to see how things are going.}}
{{Email|December 21, 2010 - 7:31pm

Wow Chris, you must be on that PSN even more than you ever have been before if you can't even take the time to spend two minutes writing to me. I thought you wanted to work on building social skills?}}
{{Email|December 21, 2010 - 7:47pm

Wow, you must be busy these days. I hope offline socialization is working out for you.

But hey, I found something while perusing the internet that you might be interested in. It's a dating site for people that are kind of shy like yourself and are sometimes socially awkward, so they're much more open and understanding to your sort of situation. Now I know what you'll say, you don't want to meet people online, but this site has an extremely stringent scanning process to weed out fake information - there's no possible way for a troll or faker to get membership. You'll have to give your real address and other such information in order to confirm yourself, and everyone else has to do the same. I recommend you try it out: https://www.wewaited.com/index.php

Let me know how it goes!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|December 22, 2010 - 9:46pm

Thank you
for the suggestiion. I have looked over the front page and bookmarked. I will keep it in mind and consider it well. I'm still in little luck in real life socializing, but I am getting out more. On the other hand, now the Trolls are stalking me through my PSN; they're claiming a "bug" is in my console, but the ONLY real bug was in my Friends List, with ANY of the latter being their "reporter". So I cleared it out. I know this, because they've added a "PSNTracker" template on their damn CWCki. For Christmas this year, I would really like EVERY last webpage of every website the Trolls have created against me; EVERY last HTML code, EVERY last image, EVERY last Link and Reference to them, Including the CWCki and Especially the whole damn Encyclopedia Dramatica... GONE, DELETED, WIPED OFF from the face of the Internet and the World FOREVER, never to be revived, recreated or reuploaded again ever. So then I won't be portrayed as a monster, because I am not a monster. I am a near-normal Straight Human Male like every other Straight Human Male on this planet. *sigh*

You all have a Merry Christmas, and Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{Email|February 25, 2011 - 7:15pm

Hey Chris! Long time no talk, but I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Hope you had fun today.

What have you been doing with yourself lately? I hope you found someone special to share your special day with. Any major developments going on?

Well, just wanted to say hi. Hope to hear from you!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|March 26, 2011 - 4:47pm

Yes, it has been a long while since we last talked. At least since
Feb. 25 when you sent me the birthday greeting. First off, the e-mails
I am sending you are strictly confidential; do not share the content of
anything I sent to you with anyone, including Lars. I have gone
through an emotional 180, more or less, within the past month. In a
nutshell, I have grown my hair out, and continuing to let it grow. I
have learned the best term to describe me, Tomgirl. :) Yes, I am a
Tomgirl, and I am damn proud of it. I have embraced and appreciated my
feminine side. I am still totally heterosexual. Otherwise, I would be
a full-blown you-know-what. I also have had my ears pierced with
amythest studs (my birthstone) recently. I have been more
self-confident, and I have a sweet sashay walk, hair and wink flirts,
and I am greeting women left and right. Hello. ;) Also, here is
another way to consider me, I am a Ken doll any Barbie CAN dress in her
clothes, and I would feel most comfortable in them and to model them
for her. Come shopping with me, sweetie. ;)

In addition to this update, I am sending you some fun photographs I
took recently (Only Linnea has seen them so far, and I do not want anyone
else to see them either; strictly confidential between the three of
us). I am being sassy in these photos; enjoy for your considersation
alone.

Also, sadly, the local police have been on my back, because a Troll is
pretending to be me, in simulated voice, AND in IP Address. I have
unplugged my wifi router and cable modem for the time being; only
plugging them in when I intend to go online at home. And my
out-of-order PC Tower has been unplugged from power and internet. I am
sending this pair of e-mails from a laptop at Best Buy at this moment.
And at the moment, I am having trouble loading the AOL log-in page on
my consoles, so that's a bust at the moment. Please relay your replies
to me through Linnea, or hit me on my cell phone (if you still have my
number).

I have had you run through my mind now and then, Jackie; consider
dashing back for some Tomgirl sweetness. ;)

Stay Safe with Love,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 18, 2011 - 4:01pm

Hey Chris! It's nice to hear from you. I hope you had a good birthday.

Wow! It sounds like you've found a great niche for yourself with your new stylin' look and attitude. I'm happy for you! I know self-confidence has always been something you needed a little help with, I'm so glad that you've found something that gives you confidence and happiness. That's really what it's all about in life. If YOU know you're in charge, other people can't help but to notice that. Good for you!

I hope you're not mad, but I was so turned on by those pictures, I just couldn't keep it to myself... I showed those pictures to a friend of mine to see what she thought. She was kind of turned on, too! Don't worry, she's very trustworthy and she wouldn't do anything bad, I told her it was important that she keep it completely secret.

I hope you'll send me some more pictures... I liked the appetizer, but I'd really love a main course!

XOXO

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 21, 2011 - 4:01pm

Well, sweetest Jackie, I did feel a bit bothered hearing that my photos
I shared with you in confidence was shared with someone else, but since
I am not finding it on the Cwcki or whatever, I forgive you. :-* <3
I am able to type e-mails from my Wii only here at the moment, but I am
planning on getting an inexpensive internet laptop within the next few
weeks (don't push me, sweetheart). I will send you a sampler of my
photos later, or I'll ask Linnea to forward them to you. Spoiler Alert;
there is Makeup involved. ;) And I would appreciate you keeping the
photos in strictest confidence between you, me, Linnea and your one friend
ONLY; no one else, please.

And if you want to see the whole me put altogether, you are gonna have
to come over and meet me in C-Ville. Also, please inform me of what
the current score is between you and Lars; I would feel more
comfortable if he was not part of your current life while you and I are
getting close. ;) And if you want it, my manlihood down here is at
your service upon scintilating request
I gtg get my car from the shop, but I await your reply. Call me to
schedule our meet. (434)-760-0848 Please leave a message with your
digits, so I can recognize you on my caller ID better, and so I can
call you back.

Stay Safe with love (you never left my mind and my heart),
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 21, 2011 - 9:53pm

Oh, about Lars... he went on kind of a bender a few weeks ago, I haven't heard from him since. I still care about him but the whole romance thing is kind of cooled off with him. I'm hoping he and I can remain friends, though.

Anyway, I don't mean to make you worry, my friend is trustworthy and I won't share your pictures with anyone else. I look forward to seeing more of your photos! Speaking of, how is Linnea doing these days?

But let's take it a little slow here, I'm not really ready to meet you yet. You know what, as much as I like having you as a friend, I would be willing to consider taking it further again, but I don't want to rush into it right away. Let's re-establish our relationship on solid footing and take it from there. And besides, I'm still a tad reeling from Lars and I cooling off, I just want to make sure I'm in the right place before I do a heavy relationship again. (You wouldn't want to be just a rebound, would you?) I'm not trying to play hard to get, sweetie... I just want to catch my breath before you take it away again. :)

I want to see the new you, Chris. Just show me the goods. I'm sure I won't be disappointed. Besides, you want to give me incentive to come see you, right?

<3<3<3

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 21, 2011 - 10:50pm

It is cool. I understand, and I absoloutly would like to take your
breath away in full swing. On one hand, I empathize with you on the
loss of that relationship and worry, and on the other hand it is good
news for me to hear that you're breaking it off with him on the romance.

Let's do it better this time; I feel it most beneficial for you to call
me on my cell at least twice a week; perhaps at about 8:00 PM on
Tuesdays and Fridays (negotiable). I feel it better to communicate
directly in verbal conversations over e-mails. I want you and me to
meet in person as soon as possible, at least mid-May; I allow you the
few weeks to recover, and it can be delayed with good reason and
discussion. It has been about half a year or so; a newer photo would
be appreciated. I've kept all of the previous photos of you saved on a
little-used memory card here all to myself alone.

I took another look at them; you use a similar eye-shadow to what I
use. :) So, shared makeovers between you and I could be something
else fun to look forward to. :) I also feel uncertain of the nose and
lip jewelary; in person, I would feel better if you leave them off only
for like the first few times we meet, at least up until our first kiss
(I am still a mouth-virgin in that sense), and it would give me
something to compare later on if the lip jewelry would make it better.

I will also share something else with you in confidence; for a while
after I had learned my word was "tomgirl", my mother felt uncomfortable
for a while after I shared that info with her (being almost 70 and
old-fashioned-minded). She got used to the idea after a couple of
weeks, then I started up with the makeup, which did make me more
self-confident, pretty and happier. My mother felt ill at ease upon
first instance. And later, she told me that she would not complain
about my makeup and tomgirl ways. Today, she was a major, complaining
bitch; she hurt me heavily emotionally with that back-stabbing
indian-giver attitude. And she just came up here shouted out more and
more commands and complaints. Obviously she has something else going
on that is affecting this mood-swing, and she may go back to being nice
soon. She still hurt me; I am damn happy being a Tomgirl, and she is
not going to change that. She is also paranoid of me turning damn gay
or becoming a transvestite. Neither of which is the case; I am very
attracted to women, including your sweet self, Jackie. I am feeling
that she won't let up until I finally bring home a girlfriend who loves
me for me, and appreciates my tomgirl ways. And I do not know to many
tomgirls around here in person to attempt to put her mind at ease.
Stressful.

I'll be okay, especially now that we're talking again, sweetheart. :)

Please call me very soon. I still have true feelings for you, Jacklyn,
and it would mean a Lot to me if this time is THE time and you and I
stay together for the remainder of our lives. But I digress. There's
not that much rush; we have plenty of time.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
XOXOXOXO
Christian.

P.S.
Dana is doing good, and I will send the photos from a library computer
tomorrow.}}
{{Email|April 22, 2011 - 7:35pm

Hey Chris!

I'm so sorry your mom is causing you grief right now. I guess the major change you're undergoing is a little bit of a shock for her, but she should still be supportive. What kinds of commands and complaints is she making to you? Do you have any idea what the thing going on in her life that is causing her to have a mood swing? Maybe you can help her with it. But it's good that you're standing your ground and refusing to stop being who you are and doing what makes you happy.

Now, about Lars... Please don't tell me how much time I need to get over MY relationship. These things can't just be planned out so exactly, when you break up with someone you can't just say "I need X days to get over it and then I'll be perfectly okay". It's a process. I'm not saying May is out of the question, I just can't put the cart in front of the horse. So let's just keep talking for right now. Like you say, there's not a rush, we have plenty of time, right?

Anyway, I'd love to talk to you on the phone, but my phone broke a couple months ago and I don't really have the cash to get a new one. There's a fancy new pair of chopsticks at the Asian store down at the mall I want to pick up and I'm saving my money for that. (Did I ever tell you that I like eating food with chopsticks? I just enjoy it better than using forks. Just a little quirk of mine, I guess.) So we might have to wait a while before I have a phone number to give you. Oh, and I'm gonna keep my piercings and makeup on the way I like too, by the way. Those things are part of what defines me, kind of like how being a tomgirl is what defines you. Isn't that part of why you like me? For what makes me me?

I look forward to seeing those photos tomorrow! I'll try to dig up a more recent photo of myself and get it to you.

XOXO

Jackie

P.S. You mentioned in your last email that you are getting a new laptop in a few weeks or something. What kind of laptop is it? I'm just curious. :)}}
{{EmailReply|April 23, 2011 3:42am

I meant no offense with your piercings, and you are soo right on
continuing to be you. And I like your makeup style. :) Also, I
apologize for making a schedule for relief time; it does take a lengthy
amount of time. I meant mid-May to be for when you and I can meet up;
again, we can discuss the meet date.

That is neat you have a thing for eating with chopsticks; I am capable
of eating with chopsticks too; I have had good practice in the past
with the grub I ate at the korean church in Chesterfield Co. my family
and I went to. I relate with your desire for fancy and pretty things.
Although IMHO, I would consider which is more of a "Want" or a "Need".
Do you need or want those chopsticks? Wouldn't that cell phone
replacement be more beneficial to you? Only food for thought.

I have actually shared how I felt with mom recently, and she listened.
She also let off a few monkies off her back; speghetti dinner that was
refused by dad and me the night of our final move back to Ruckersville. I couldn't help it if I did not feel like spaghetti that night; she gave up cooking for us after that for one. I deeply apologized for that. And recently, my dad had colon cancer surgery; the recovery, helping him and putting up with his constant complaints, arguement-starters and such has put further wear and tear on her.

On another topic, I've double-checked the Wikipedia search for
"tomgirl"; I was redirected to "effeminacy". I had reffered to it as
nothing upon first finding weeks ago. I read a little bit of it an
hour ago; most of which was, while reasonable from the author's
viewpoint, offensive to me and I felt I just could not put up with.
There WAS a "Tomgirl" page, and in its first publish time, it was
simple and true, spelling corrections were needed; "opposite of
tomboy"; "males who enjoy feminine things", and "Tomgirls are
straight". After I get that laptop, I am going to undo the
redirection, and add MORE words of tomgirl wisdom into it.

The laptop is an inexpensive one from CVS, designed for internet
browsing, and upgradable I am sure with a greater capacity internal HDD
(Hard disk drive). It is only $99, and it will be good for what I'll
need it for, even before upgrading.

I've asked Tiffany to forward you the confidential tomgirlly photos.
Please let me know ASAP when you are able to call me.

Stay Safe and sweet,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 23, 2011 10:04pm

So that sucks about your mom. When was the speghetti dinner? Do you mean way back when your family moved to Ruckersville, years ago? That seems like an odd thing for her to bring up if it was so long ago.

Your dad had colon cancer though??? You should really be more understanding of his being in a bad mood. That is a HUGE strain on a family. I'm sure your mother is strained to the breaking point from seeing the man she loves go through this life-threatening dilemma; I mean, you guys are lucky he survived at all. Chalk that up to God's grace, I guess. You should be more understanding to your parents' needs.

Well, as far as the chopsticks, I actually busted a pair of mine a couple weeks ago. It was a really ornate pair, I had it for years and I carried it with me every time I went out to eat. But I left them on the roof of my car after leaving a restaurant and my dad accidentally drove over them and turned them into splinters. I was crestfallen, but I decided I would replace them as soon as possible. I look forward to having a nice pair of chopsticks again. I mean, I'd love to have a phone so I could talk to you, and you are definitely more important, but all things considered, until confirmation of details I'll continue to wait til we get our relationship back on its feet.

Anyway, I had more to say, sorry I have to cut this email short but I have to get up early tomorrow morning for my usual family Easter lunch, we do like an all-day family party thing and I need my sleep beforehand. I'll write more later!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 24, 2011 - 3:49pm

Believe me, I am more than well aware of my parents' needs, as well as
the sheer stress from the excessive drama.

Before I forget, I wanted to be sure to address the question I missed
in your last e-mail. My mom said things like "do not wear eyeshadow",
"you look like a prostitute", "lipstick makes you look like a hooker",
"you're turning into a gay", "what are you piercing next?", "what's
next, you wearing a skirt and high heels" and shit like that. I mean,
her concerns are understandable, but she is soo paranoid,
overprotective and crazy. I will always be straight, no matter what;
it is in my prebirth programmming. Otherwise, I would not be feeling
like throwing up most times I see another dude's penis. XP BLECH!!!

The spaghetti topic is soo yesterdecade, but apparently she remembers
it as well as having a very close relative pass away. Obviously I can
empathize with that; I still have my chip on the shoulder from Michael
Snyder banning me from the Game & Hobby Place and being soo still
unforgiving and closed-minded of accepting my apology. I even wish
heavily for the Place to be blown up and burn to the ground while there
was nobody inside.

It is understandable of confirming the details before getting the
phone. I really would like this relationship to work, and soo better
than in the past. Until when you get a cell phone, I will continue to
e-mail you daily at best (granted I may miss a day sometimes).

There was a good Easter service at my church today, and there was also
a baptism of a baby girl today; I took some photos with my DS that I
will print out for the family ASAP.

I also finally found and got a vial of Nail Art polish (silver) today,
and I painted "TOM" on my right hand's middle three nails, "GIRL" on my
left's index to pinkie, and a star, flower and heart on the other
three. Put my two hands together, they spell "*Tomgirl". I will send
you a photo after I get the laptop. More info on the laptop, it is a
Sylvana brand with Wi-Fi capabilities, 3 USB ports, Windows CE and
such. More details on it can be found on the box at your local CVS
($99.99), or if you can find it online, that works too. :) Also, I am
planning on getting a tattoo and a belly button ring next month. I
haven't decided on the B.B. ring yet, but the tattoo is going onto my
lower back; I'll send a photo later, but roughly it is a combination of
the (pink) mars and (blue) venus symbols, a pair of (violet) wings on
either side, a white star behind it, and "Tomgirl 4Ever" underneath it
all.

What else has been good with you since September? Are you still a Mary
Baldwyn journalist? How about them "Crash Test Dummies"? And anything
else that comes into your mind; I want to hear/read all about it.

You and me, Jacklyn, let's make up for lost time and keep goin' strong.

TTYL. Stay Safe with Love,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 25, 2011 - 5:40pm

Yes, I know that you're straight, you really don't need to convince me. Although I'm still not sure why you have these visceral vomiting reactions to seeing another penis, normal straight people don't have that, but whatever.

I thought you were over the Game Place? I mean, we talked for months about you getting over it because it is long in the past It really seems like a serious issue that you retain these violent, hateful thoughts for years and years like that. And considering that we talked for hours and hours about the incidents at the Game Place but you were unwilling to accept that your behavior was in any way wrong, I'm willing to bet that Michael Snyder didn't think your apology was sincere (How can you apologize properly for something when you believe you haven't done anything wrong?) Have you ever considered pursuing some sort of psychotherapy/counseling? You know to be honest, that's one of the reasons I didn't really want to start calling you yet, because I wanted to see if you had become willing to pursue self-improvement in the months since we last talked. I mean, you still have all your video games that you play all day, but that's not good enough, you also need to be able to go play Pokemon cards with children at the Game Place? In my humble opinion, you need therapeutic help with your anger problems much more than you need to play Pokemon cards or video games, and just like you said I would consider which is more of a "want" or a "need". (Besides, didn't you tell me that the reason you screamed out loud and got yourself banned was because all the children making noise and ruckus stressed you into screaming in the first place? Why do you want to go back to a situation that caused you so much stress?) And as an aside, I think it's pretty selfish that you would want the Game Place to burn down and for no one else to enjoy it just because you can't.

But here's an idea for you: You know how they say that when you are really angry at a person, you should write a letter to that person telling them how you feel but not send it? Well, I would suggest this: How about you draw a picture of you burning the Game Place down? Put all your hatred and rage into that picture, make it really visceral and detailed. And don't send it to Mike Snyder or anyone else, just send it to me. Or Dana too. I think it would be very therapeutic for you to do, and also a lot more productive than just thinking about it. Tell you what, get that drawing to me by Wednesday night. I can't wait to see it!

Well anyway, it's your choice if you want to get over your problems and impress me or not, I won't force you. But I'm glad that we're opening a dialogue again. Hey, try not to feel too bad about what your mother is saying. It sucks that she's not being very supportive of your changes, but you know that you have people like me and Dana who recognize that you're doing what you need to be happy. And yes I did get the photos! They look so amazing!! I love the confidence and poise that you display in those photos, that tells me you're doing the right thing. Do you have a date for when you're getting the tattoo yet? I really look forward to seeing the pictures of that! Also, have you considered maybe getting some heels to wear? They make you taller... and you know how us girls like tall men ;)

XOXO

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 26, 2011 - 8:40pm

I am happy to hear your praise for my Tomgirlish ways. :) Yes, I have
thought of getting a pair of heels; I will be doing that soon enough
too; also a denim skirt. It will be about mid-next-week when I get the
tattoo.

On the Place topic, yes I still have the chip on my shoulder, but Rocky
continues to hear me out there; I'm good. And on another hand, I've
"been there, done that" on the fire-starting drawing of the Place. The
other day, I drove by there, took a photo of the store front with my
DS, and later drew TNT boxes and flames on the photo digitally. But I
did not send it to Dana; I sent it over the PSN under one of my
secondary accounts to a confirmed troll, then deleted the original
message from my end and all traces of the jpeg photo from my PS3, DS
and the SD memory card. This was like over a week ago, and since I
have not seen it on the CWCki's recent uploaded photo log, it is
obvious to me that nothing will come out of that anyway. Upon
retrospect, sending it to a troll was wrong, and if I had thought of
sending it to Dana instead, I would have. *inserts foot into mouth*

A fun story on another topic, I have recently imagined myself dressed
in my feminine outfit and makeup in a bar full of lesbians (I got the
silly idea that I would likely fit in at a lesbian bar). LOL I found
a successful woman in the bar, we talked; she was fascinated with my
stories; I liked her too; we went back to her place; I warned her that
I was actually a male; she was surprised, yet curious and willing to
try me; we did it. And here's a fun, kinky part, we did it in
lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag. Again,
this was only pretend in my head. If this turns you on, good. It was
fun for me anyway. :)

I've been busy this week; my father was put back into the hospital
under his doctor's orders for examination of his heart and such. He'll
be back out by or before Friday. My mom and I have been visiting him
each day for 3 or 4 hours. Mom kisses and hugs him before we leave; it
is sweet. On the similar topic, apparently one of my Manchester High
Class of 2000 classmates is working at Martha Jefferson. I have not
met her yet, but I left a note with my number on it for a meet and
greet arrangement. Talkin' about the old days and whatnot. Plus I may
be able to track one or two of my closer classmates with her help. If
not, I'll still have a classmate for a friend within my current life.

Also recently, I have been experimenting with body hair removal
systems. I tried waxing; I had diffculty, only a little pain; I could
use some help on getting the hang of it. Then I tried the "As Seen on
TV" Smooth Away; it worked some, but not so much; got a rash on my leg
from the effort. I would not recommend the product. And lastly, which
removed the latter, a hair remover shower cream (Nair brand "Shower
Power Max", to be specific). It worked great, but I either used a bit
much or left some on longer; this was last night. I had worse pain on
the rashed leg, and new rashy spots on the other, on the right side of
my belly near the button, and on BOTH of my nipples. The pain was
excruciating; I was lucky to find comfort and fall asleep with a few
dreams. The areas still hurt some, and I will heal, with sexier legs
to look forward to. It's a blessing neither of my arms were pained
from the experiment. The pain was equivilant to harsh sunburn. I
would have been more comfortable with Waxing in comparison. On the
classic 1-10 scale; waxing was a 2; the S.P.Max was an 8.5 (going on 9
with the extended searing pain). At least my arms, legs, torso and
pubic are sin hair and real smoooth. :)

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe with Love,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 26, 2011 - 10:47pm

Well, maybe you should ask Rocky to actually help you get over those unchristian thoughts of revenge, but I am very happy that you're already one step ahead of me about getting it out of your system. Who exactly did you send that altered photo to? And I don't think I understand, why did you want it on the cwcki? Kind of too bad, if you wanted it to find its way there you could have asked me for help getting the trolls to bite it up. Well, tell you what: Do the picture again for me. Make it even better this time! I can't wait to see it. Draw the Game Place burning to the ground with you dancing on its rubble, happy to have justice done. Or photoshop it like you did the first time, either one works. Do you think tomorrow is soon enough to get it completed? Probably won't take you more than an hour or two. Get it to me tomorrow! :D

That's an odd fantasy that you bring up about the lesbian thing. Actually, it's really funny that you mention it: The other night I had a dream that was basically the exact same thing! Well, actually it was that you picked me up in a bar (We didn't previously know each other in the dream), and then you took me home and we started to make out and we were going to have sex. But then in the dream, I was secretly a man! And when I told you so, at first you were shocked, but open-minded, and we had hot passionate mansex. We did lots of erotic frottage in that dream. Isn't that funny that we had the exact same dream? I guess erotic minds think alike ;)

And hey, that's really great about your old classmate! Why don't you call her and try to set up lunch or something? It would really be great for you to catch up with her and maybe find some other of your old friends through her. Let me know what she says!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 28, 2011 - 7:09pm

The burn-down is not a big deal; I sent it to PSN user, tricomri;
obviously he didn't log in for a while. So, for the better, nothing
bad will come from it. I do not need to do it over again; it is behind
me.

In response to your dream, I thank you for sharing. At first after
reading it, I felt a little disgust, but I have had my own thing where
I would have you wear a strap-on, so in that view, it is not so
farfetched.

I gtg; TTYL. Stay Safe with Love,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 28, 2011 - 7:25pm

Well, you're still fantasizing about the Game Place being burned down, and it's extremely apparent that you still hate Michael Snyder, so obviously it's not behind you. Besides, it's not only about you, it's about me too. If you did it for some random guy on your friends list, you can do it for your girl, right? I asked you to do it for me. So do it for me! Have the Game Place on fire, and Michael Snyder on his knees crying over losing his life's worth, and then you and Sonichu dancing around the wreckage laughing and pouring gasoline on the building (to show Sonichu helped you). And also, you should show yourself lecturing Mike Snyder, explaining exactly what he did wrong and why he deserved what happened to him. And put your full effort into it - color it this time, don't be lazy and skimp like you did on those issue 10 trial redux pages I asked for. I was hoping to see it by today. Get it to me by Saturday.

Anyway, I still don't understand exactly why you wanted the drawing to go on the cwcki. I thought you didn't want new details and stuff to go on there? So why would you want this picture there? And how do you know this tricomri guy is even a troll? I've never heard his name before.

Well, gtg; I look forward to the picture. Saturday!

Jackie}}
{{Email|April 30, 2011 - 1:34pm

Chris, is everything okay? I haven't heard from you in a couple days. Is your dad doing okay?

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 30, 2011 - 9:52pm

My father is fine. I sent you a message about Thursday. I went to
watch "Grease" at the Paramount Friday with the Young Adult Group.

I:{{!}}( I just found ALL of ny tomgirl photos on the CWCki. I am feeling
shock, crestfallen; uncertainty.

That's all I am going to say for now until I get my laptop.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 1, 2011 - 12:38am

What??? How did they get out???

I'm really sorry that happened Chris. Was it because the PSN got hacked? I heard that the hackers made away with a whole bunch of peoples' personal data, like credit card information, login info, and such. They say this is one of the biggest ever leaks of personal information. I've been reading about it here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/gamesblog/2011/apr/29/psn-hack-industry-reactions

I understand you're feeling down from that, so don't worry if you don't feel like talking much right now. But I'm here to listen if you want to talk.

Jackie}}
{{Email|May 2, 2011 - 5:30pm

Hey, Chris? What's going on? I know you're sad about the PSN being down but really, I don't get why you're just ignoring me. I guess if you aren't interested in reconnecting, that's your prerogative. Hope some other girl is actually able to capture your interest.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 2, 2011 - 11:06pm

For your information, Jacklyn, my life does not revolve around video
games and the friggin' Network, although I do keep up-to-date on the
restoration progress on the Blog, so I am well-aware.

NO! I am feeling more ticked with the Trolls right now, and with due
respect, you. I have deleted ALL of the messages and photos I have
shared in Better confidence with Dana after sending them off. It IS my
fault however on authorizing the sharing my recent photos with you.
Considering your History of sharing the stories, AND photos and art, of
you and me since our first break up with the Trolls. And since then in
our off-and-on relationship(?), I have seen "Leaked" e-mails from
between you and me on the Cwcki and their damn websites against me.
It's either them having direct access with YOUR computers, or you lying
to me and possibly keeping a secret that you have become ONE OF THEM.
I even remember your past excuse of Lars leaking our stuff to them as
well. That and "your friend" will NOT fly with me. I feel
disappointment and lack of trust with you. I am sorry, and I empathize
with how sad you probably feel from reading this, because I do not like
to hurt my friends, but this is the truth.

You WANT me to Earn Your Trust; well You have to Earn My Trust, WITH
Interest. I will not be sharing photographs and confidential
information with you again until you have earned it.

I would very much like a Successful, Lasting Relationship with a woman
as pretty, sweet, trusting and kind as you Used to be. Obviously when
there is little to no trust between you and me mutually, I'm afraid it
is hard for me to see a future in the relationship between us, and that
makes me feel really sad. *sigh*

Jacklyn, Prove me wrong in my theories; Earn My Trust. Think long and
deep about that.

Stay Safe. Love,
Christian.}}

{{Incomplete}}

{{EmailReply|August 5, 2011

It was rough on me today; worse on my parents.

To begin, after taking [[Bob Chandler|dad]] to his doc appointment, followed by fueling
up the Mitsubishi, Mom hand he went to Riley's Diner in [[Ruckersville]].
I checked in with them via cellie as they made their way to the diner.
Mom requested of me to put a gallon of gas in the red canister for the
[[Chores|lawn tractor]]. I took a bag full of used cans with me also to dispose
of them in a nearby dumpster behind [[Wikipedia:Food Lion|Food Lion]] (there is no recycling
facility or disposal area for cans around here yet).

I was going to take [[Son-Chu|my car]], but it would not start. So I called and
informed mom about that, and that I would take the recently checked van
instead. She also asked me to drive by Goodwill to swap the van for
the Mitsu. I would have taken either the Honda or BMW, but I still
lack manual transmission knowledge. The van started. After getting
onto the road, I noticed the "check engine" being lit; [[Honor roll|at the moment I
disregarded it]]. But after dropping off the cans in the dumpster, I
started to press on, but after moving forward slightly, it stalled on
me. And I could not restart it. I called mom to come to me then.

Beforehand, she had a bought with the bitchy server/owner of Riley's,
Riley herself. Mom had a quarter of a chicken sandwich from McD; she
brought it in with her. She had also got her tea at Riley's before
this bout. Mom pulls out the quarter sandwich; Riley is all, "you
can't eat food from another place here". There's no sign stating that
anywhere there. So, mom ignored her and ate the q-sand in front of
her. Riley asked her to leave. Mom wanted her tea too, and she had a
big reusable plastic cup in the Mitsu. So she takes the cup of tea out
to the car and fills Her cup with the tea. She then returned the
restaurant's cup to the table dad was still sitting at. Riley bitched
some more at mom about taking their cheap plastic glass outside. So,
to come back for dad later, she leaves for the nearby Goodwill. Here
is where I came in with the last call, as well as the following where I
requested help stranded by the dumpster.

So mom comes with the Mitsu to the van; the jumper cables were in the
back of my car, the escort, at home. So, she stayed at the van while I
A) picked up dad at Riley's, B) stop to get lunch for me at the nearby
[[Obesity|Taco Bell/KFC]]; M.Deal 1: chick burrito, med drink and chips, C) return
dad home and pick up the jumpers and D) return to mom and the van.

The van was still fighting with the mucky, old gasoline; mom and dad
got earlier today a bottle of gas cleaner. So after returning to her,
she poured in the cleaner, attached the jumpers, and got the van
started. After putting away the jumpers, I followed her in the van
with me in the Mitsu up to the nearby [[Sheetz]].

After her parking the van by pump 7, I parked the Mitsu in a nearby
space. I checked in with her, then went into Sheetz to wash my hands
to allow me to eat the chick burrito. I sat in the van after she
fueled it halfway, and fueled the canister; she had to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|poo]] bad. After she returned, I had finished the burrito; she got in and tried to start
the van; no turnover. So I pulled the Mitsu up to the van to try
rejumping; no good. Mom called dad; he suggested punchin' the pedal
while starting up; no good. I stayed by her side during thebwait and
restart trials, keeping her company and talkin'; it helped her feel
better. Eventually, she reluctantly called for a tow, which arrived
about 10 to 20 min. later, to tow the van to Chuck's, just less than
half a mile north of Sheetz. The jumpers and can of gas were placed in
the Mitsu. We followed the truck and van, left a pair of van keys with
Chuck. He'll have another go at it soon. Then tired, mom and I
finally came back home about quarter after 7. Killed my day.

I was planning on getting the songwork completed, but after what
happened... I am sorry, but I will have to complete them tomorrow and
upload them on Saturday.

Life happens. *sigh* I know very well it's happening to both you and
I. I still think of you lovingly and dearly. :)

I'll e-mail you again tomorrow.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
LOLove,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
[[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] Apple Chrissy.}}

==References==
<references/>

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie E-mails]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails 23]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie E-mails 25]]
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
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{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 24]]

CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation

2013-01-13T00:25:33Z

Thsprppr:

The '''CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation''' is a set of videos that [[Chris]] released in hopes of selling the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] franchise to investors. Note that "Personal Sonichu Presentation" can be shortened to [[PSP]].

Chris imagines that he is speaking directly to "businesspeople" who might back the commercial development of [[Sonichu]]. In the first video, he delivers a brief history of his character's creation, and also displays a few Sonichu-related objects in addition to his comics and his famous medallion, including crude clay sculptures of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] and a "[[Sonic]] versus Sonichu" racing board game. He concludes by claiming that he plans to complete between 50 and 100 ''Sonichu''' comics in his lifetime (if Chris keeps up his pace as of late [[2009]], he will have reached the minimum goal in 2029, when he'd be 47–48 years old, living alone and still a perverted virgin man-child, [[Chris and Health|if he's lucky enough to still be living]]).

The second video is substantially less coherent. Chris loses the plot as far as attempting to sell his character and settles down to [[Ego|narcissistic wallowing in his supposed personal achievements and his fantasies of a vast international ''Sonichu'' fandom.]] He spends several minutes showing off fan [[art]] submitted by [[trolls]], all of which is unsurprisingly far better than anything Chris himself could ever dream of drawing. He also seems to have revived his old dreams of a [[Pokémon]] video game or trading card expansion starring [[Sonichu]], which suggests he has forgotten the conclusion of the [[Miyamoto Saga]] or managed to actively push those events out of his mind.

Perhaps his most impressively deluded fantasy involves the prospect of a Sonichu animated series. He believes that [[Sony]] would be interested in developing the show, that the [[Adult Swim|Cartoon Network]] would be interested in broadcasting the show, and that he would direct and star as the voice of himself and Sonichu. (He briefly shows off his "Sonichu voice," an almost indistinguishably higher-pitched version of his normal voice.)

As usual, Chris displays a shocking lack of awareness concerning the actual commercial viability of his character. (Hint: it has none.) He also, once again, fails to realize that giving out your home address, home phone number, mobile phone number and other key bits of personal information in a video that's publicly available on [[YouTube]] is not such a hot idea.

In addition to uploading the videos to YouTube, Chris also made a page for these presentations on the [[CWCipedia]]. He also attempted to upload the follow-up PowerPoint presentation videos, but failed, possibly because either the video files were corrupt or he actually thought .ppt files were video files compatible with YouTube.

Animator [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Harry Partridge]] has called this his favorite Chris-chan video.<ref>[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]</ref>

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HzyWEXmyqMA}}
| stardate = 23 [[November 2009]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Fanart|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[14 November 2009]]
| next = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2|CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 2]]
}}
{{quote|Very famous. Very, very famous.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''The song ''Sonic Boom'' is playing on the PS3 behind Chris, at times loud enough to make Chris hard to understand.''] Mmm. HELLO, w—hello there muh-business people! Welcome to world of [[CWCville]], Virginia, [''Chris fidgets with his [[Medallion of Fail]]''] and the world of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]] of [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], [[14 Branchland Court]], ZIP code 22968. And, uh, my home phone number is (434) 990-0198, my cell phone being 760-0848.

Anyway, I am here today to talk to you about d—revolutionary geh—leviloutionary lil' character that WILL [''jump cut''] pah, uh—will make a lot of [[money]], because he's already been innernet-famous fer about 20—fer almost 10 years now. [''pulls out a [[Scrapbook of Fail|Sonichu binder]] and holds it up to the camera''] His name is Sonichu. The l'il, real Electric Hedgehog [[Pokémon]] right here. [''points to Sonichu on cover of [[Sonichu 0|Issue 0]], then starts to put away the binder''] You'll find out more about him. You can learn more about him and read [''holds the binder back up to the camera''] the comic books—comic book pages I've written—I've drawn and written so far [''puts the binder away this time''] on [[CWCipedia]], which, uh, the address to that would be next to this [[YouTube]] video in da details.

Anyway, we are here t—t—anyway yeah. His or—his origin is basically... yeah, first off, uh, we have to c—look at the—my big BOOK here. [''pulls out a different, giant binder''] Look how big that book is. [[Pickle|So thick]], I had to get ANOTHER BOOK. [''hefts a second equally huge binder''] Heh. [''sets second binder down'']

Anyway, [''sets giant binder down and opens it''] it all s—[''video skips''] Anyway, uh... upon the cre—uh, upon the physical—upon the mental creation of Sonichu, it originally came to me, because, for one—for a computer graphics class back in high school, I had to create a CD cover for... [''wipes his forehead with his sleeve''] a CD that's, uh, was not to be sold anywhere, but, anyway. Made for fun, but—so, I drew up a...—a—this—this CD cover right here [''holds up a binder page showing [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''] and this—this—this was Sonichu's first a—forst official appearance. Front and back on the ins—on the insert. If, anyway, uh, basically, [''video skips''] the—uh, the idea came to me, like, you know, yeah, I wanted to use Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu on the cover of my CD, but they're both copyrighted characters, and previously-copyrighted characters were not allowed. So, uh, after lunch, uh, during that same day, in da [[Manchester High School]] with my teacher Miss Naelie Chalifoux, thank'a very much, I have...—it just dawned upon me, with, uh, merging together, in combination of the two, and then Sonichu was born.

Now that and then [[homos|in da but]] storywise, he was born—he—he was born amidst the, uh, s—sitcha—situation in [[Station Square]] whereas portray—previous portrayed in the ''Sonic Adventure'' game, available on Dreamcast and Nintendo GameCube. Ay—yeah, but during the battle, the Chaos Monster, Super Sonic, ran into a spystanding Pikachu and, uh, transformed in—into Sonichu... as that was also—as the origins also described in the ''Number Zero'' book on the—on the CWCipedia.

[''reaches for glasses, then reconsiders and wipes his forehead with his arm'']

Now, the, uhh...—now, Sonichu's appeal—Sonichu and Rosechu's appeal: yeah, mainly, the, uhh, appeal was... t—aimed towards children... and, uhh, there was the start of the books, there. We got little toys here, I put togetter. Even a—even a board game, where we put the boards... right here. Sonic vs. Sonichu, a little racing-type game, but it's a l'il—it's a little bit Monopoly-style, with game ca—with, uhh, cards that you pick up... uhn, and shortcuts. Anyway, that is, uhh, part of the, uhh, merchandising thing that I plan on branching out with... in the world of Sonichu, eventually. As, uhh, p—as portrayed—as previously-mentioned in a YouTube video, I have the official registration copyright of Sonichu... and Rosechu and the C-uh-CWCville, in my—in my own name, and that—and that is also accessible on the CWCipedia: the scan of that... actual piece of paper that came from the Virginia Library of Congress.

[''opens binder and sighs'']

Anyway, yeah, I got a ''whole'' bunch of history here. All my history. It comes, like, you know, from creation... with, uhh...—to making, uhh, to a whole bunch of stories, and whatnot...—and even, uhh, made a title(?)... for it in my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]], which was, uhh—which I believe I told Nintendo of America about... in a previous letter or two. Anyway, yeah, it was—it was very—it was very lucrative, and... we do plan on branching out even on DVD, of, like, on my live DVD that's called [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|''CWC... Christian Weston Chandler... That's Me. Yep, I'm on TV!'']] Uhh, C-''Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm on TV!'' That's the name of the DVD. So, if it comes out on DVD, [[Chris and reality|I hope to get it on... Blu-ray, as well]]. And, also, I've created the, uhh—a couple of Sonich—a, uhh, level S—for Sonichu, on ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', Sony—on Sony [[PlayStation 3]]... which, uhh, is called "Sonichu Episode 0". You can look it up; my [[PSN]] ID is ''Sonichu'': S-o-n-i-c-h-u. ...Anyway, e—e—following this, uhh, video... there will be a... video where, uhh... it will be presented live from my PC: a PowerPoint presentation that can better describe... the situation. Anyway, with the count of books, I plan—I plan on drawing, at least, in my lifetime, hopefully, between fifty to a hundred books.

==Part 2==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R4ATvhScVms}}
| stardate = 23 [[November 2009]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Fanart|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Video|CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 1]]
| next = [[Sonichu Powerpoint]]
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''Picking up where the first video left off.'']

By which, uh, definitely more will be a re—a ra—around Sonichu, after I, which I have dubbed myself the [[CWCville|Mayor of CWCville]], in this glorious shopping, this glorious two-story [[shopping mall]], ah, that is glorious. I actually have, uh, plans that I have, uh, made in [[Computer Aided Drafting and Design]], which I will present through this video, near the end of it—near the end of this video.

[''He begins flipping through a thick three-ring binder.'']

Anyway, yeah, got a whooole bunch of stuff here. Yeah, we can definitely franchise 'n' all this, you know. Even ideas of a ''Pokémon: Lightning Version'', where players can catch Sonichu and Rosechu in the wild, even breeding them to make the other individual Electric Hedgehog characters that are—have been portrayed in the book, such as Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy, and Magi-Chan, among others that have also been created as well, due—due—due to, you know, processes of the evolution stones, and daytime/nighttime evolutions, friendship, all that good stuff. All in the—the files here, including their little baby forms Sonee and Rosey, to evolutions from original Sonichu and Rosechu....

[''He displays the Sonichu and Rosechu figures again.'']

...[[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. Those characters are also featured on the [[CWCipedia]]. At least on Sonichu's page; I'm planning on making a page for Rosechu herself on that note. But, anyway, This—this—this Sonichu franchise, it has a biiig number of fans. I even have a number of fan submissions. Like, this here is a draw—is a piece of fan art that came from a girl I knew in Australia.
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|right|[[PandaHalo]]'s fanart, which serves as the cover of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].]]
[''He holds up the picture, presumably from [[PandaHalo]], to the camera.'']

And that's a postcard sent from her, right there. She, uh, also, uh, created a Sonichu and Rosechu that's featured in the ''Number Nine'' book I'm currently drawing. They go by the name of [[Chloe]] and [[Blazebob Sonichu|Blazebob]].

[''Chris turns around the file revealing another piece of art.'']

Anyway, also, on the flip side of this page is from somebody else. It's possibly the best Sonichu fan art ever. Look at that. That's gonna be the cover of the, uh, the first book that's just based on Sonichu, which'll definitely be after ''Number Ten''...

[''He turns around the picture to display Panda's image.'']

...which this one will be the cover of.

[''He looks at the other image again.'']

Hm. This one came from, uh, "Zorah Q. Zowild," that's his YouTube name. Yeah, also, you know, I've received fan art in the snail mail, those are printed off the internet. Like this lovely one.
[[Image:AllisonSonichuRosechu.jpg|thumb|"And from that, you know, that's, you know, she could have done a little better like, you know, like Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her"]]
[''He holds up a drawing of Sonichu and Rosechu in formal wear.'']

That came from, uh, that came from a lovely woman named Allie, in Sun Valley, California. Thank you. Thank you very much. And from that, you know, that's, you know, she could have done a little better like, you know, like Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her. But, still, drew my own version of it.

[''He holds up a crude imitation of the previous drawing.'']
[[Image:CWCsEloquateSonichuandRosechu.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's "superior" version of Allie's drawing.]]
Heh, heh. Isn't that fun? Oh, of course, local art, in Charlottesville, an art—an artist did a caricature of me.

[''He turns around the file to display the caricature.'']

I included that in the ''Number Nine'' book on a billboard.

[''He holds up one more piece of art.'']

Here's another fun piece of fan art. It comes from, uh... B.C. Uh, okay, I can't, uh, Vancouver, B.C. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. [[Chris and reality|Very famous. Very, very famous.]] Yep. Uh, this one's just a fan letter from a... from a [[BlueSpike|Julie in Ohio]].

[''He holds up an image, but the high contrast of his video renders it impossible to make out.'']

Here's a little piece of fan art from a, uh, from someone who's possibly, uh, Japanese. Who lives in [[Virginia]]. And also, recently, this guy here, uh, Jason Darling...thank you very much; I got your package.

[''He holds up a folder of photographs.'']

He made a replica of my [[medallion]], which in them, which, you know, this one here is the original that I made myself from my own hands, from Crayola Model Magic and acrylic paints. In the comic books this allows me to transform into Chris-chan Sonichu. Which, that is described in the comic book pages as reposed in the CWCipedia. Also sent me a pack of Maple Story cards, so again, thank you Jason. I appreciate your encouragement, as well as everybody else's. Anyway, uh... hmm... yeah, I picked up a—also received a fan CD from a—from a, uhh... BK Jones in Texas. Oh, here's anutter—here's anutter fun one that's recent. Look at this envelope. Isn't that... cute? That's fun. And then they did a computer art... over there. This came all the way from... Portland... Oregon, I believe it is. And, uhh, I got various other... fan letters in—in this page. Uhh, I'd pull 'em out, but, you know, they're in—I just left them in their envelopes. Nope, fan art dere.

But, anyway, also, aside from that, uhh... I have definitely—I have definitely made a set of trading—'kay, this is my [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon trading cards]]... which I, uhh, used—which I keep at home for art's sake. A whole heck—got, like—whole—a ''whole lot'' of them here. This could definitely branch out... And a very ''profitable'' thing, both for between Nintendo and Sega, and also with Son—also possibly with Sony, with, uhh—you know, with the a—also with, uhh, the anime show that maybe—maybe Cartoon Network and their people could help me out on... eh, when tha—when that TV show gets run. Where I'll voic—where I will be happy to—where I will be the ''director'', and I will be voicing myself as Sonichu. Listen to the difference: okay, this is me, Christian Weston Chandler, and this will be Sonichu: [''clearly taking after [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEIpeZFUnJE George] by not changing his voice whatsoever''] Hey, Rosechu! Let's go out and zap to the extreme! We got some bad guys to defeat! Come on, let's go! Yeah!

[''quietly musing over his own amazing degree of fail''] Hmm... odd, but... [''recovered from the shock, back at normal volume''] anyway, uhh, running low on time. Uhh, just a couple of, uhh, other things of interest: uhh, Sonichu was also previously featured in May, 2004, in this issue of ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine, in "The Crossing Quarterly"... with a, uhh, submission from my ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game—for Nintendo GameCube, currently also available in—in other titles on DS and Nintendo Wii. And, also, uhh—and, shortly after that, it was featured... in a newsletter at the Piedmont Virgi—at the local [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]... among, uhh, other... published things. Also, uhh, when the, uhh, Sonic website was owiginawwy—was just CWCSonichu site, I had my own [[Sonichu's News Dash|News Dash newsletters]]. That lasted a short while... Hmm. Actually, uh, yeah, but any—yeah, but, anyway, everybody knows on the CWCipedia, so....

[''sigh'']

Anyway, here: I'll show you the, uhh, just the, uhh, whole layout of the CWCville Shopping Center. I actually have all these... printouts from... my... [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and cla—cla—Computer-Aided Drafting and Design classes]], but this is the last one, right before I graduated from Piedmont Virginia College. hen my degree and certificate in Commu—Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. It's very—it's very good. I mean, I would just imagine this in real life. It would even have a Pokémon Center in there, like the one in New York used to have, before it turned into a Nintendo World, USA. It shoulda stayed a ''Pokémon Center''! Now, that was definitely better appeal than just... Nintend—than just Nintendo, even though, yes, Nintendo... has the rights and everything, but... it was ''the Pokémon Center''! I mean... le—if the CWC—if the CWCville Shopping Center does get built... let's agree to put a Pokémon Center in it. And it has a Mayor's Office... right here, above the... front of—up above the main front entrance of the building... which is as portrayed in the comic book series. Aaand a whole buncha... other stuff I have, uh, here. It's just side-...stuff from... my... life, and whatever.

Anyway, uhh... uhh, pretty much, uhh, take care of it for, uhh, this par—for this portion of the, uhh, video, [''removes glasses''] so the next video to follow this one will be the... [''taps table''] PowerPoint presentation, so I will be reading audioly—I will be reading from that and pointing the camera toward the PC, [''quietly and unconfidently''] thank you. [''gives a half-assed Cub Scout salute'']

So... to Nintendo and Sega and Sony and all the other companies interested in... franchising with me here: [''gives another half-assed Cub Scout salute''] I await your call to my home phone... number or my cell phone.

Thank you very much, and have a [''gives ANOTHER half-assed [[Chris's mannerisms|Cub Scout salute]]''] ''pleasant day''!
{{References}}
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Presentations}}
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[14 November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Powerpoint]]|}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2009| 2009-11-23]]

February 2012

2012-02-05T00:26:35Z

Thsprppr:

'''February [[2012]]''' will see Chris's thirtieth birthday.
[[Image:1328397527051.jpg|thumb|right|Chris spotted in the women's section during this month.]]

==Events==
*22 February - The [[PlayStation|PS Vita]] is released. The likelihood of Chris getting one for his birthday? 99.999999999996%
*24 February - Chris [[Birthday|turns thirty]]([[Chris and Health|!]]).
{{Timeline}}

Apology to Emily

2012-01-30T14:57:59Z

Thsprppr: For the LULZ

On the evening of 16 [[March 2009]], Chris posted an '''Apology to [[Emily]]'''. Emily was mentioned in his previous video, and Chris had just stood her up on what was intended to be the original Emily Date.

==Watch==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Apology to Emily
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MFfd1gtS9wo}}
| stardate = 16 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt2|text}}
| previous = [[CWC_Callout_for_Miss_Emily_and_Stephanie#Watch|CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie]]
| next = [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place#Watch|Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]
}}
{{quote|I called out for you, but, uh… no response.}}

=== Transcript ===

[''sighs''] Hello. This, uh, message is for, uh, Miss Emily.

Mmm… I'm sorry—uh, I’m so—I apologize deeply for, uh, missing our meeting earlier today, but, uh, yeah, my—yeah, my mom, uh, w—was in disbelief, but yeah, also, my father was in ''full'' belief… and, uh, still conflicting—all the conflicting prob—all the conflicting opinions and whatnot just made me feel unsure. But I promise—I ''promise--'' Emily, I promise… [''shows “promise ring”''] I will—in the—in the next chance that I—next opportunity we g—uh, we schedule a meeting, I will definitely make it.

Mmm…

Well, anyway, again: I'm sorry. And I did wait at the church for you for half an hour. And I did pop—and I did drop by the, uh, mall… in front of the—in front of the—at the Chick—in front of the, uh, Chick-fil-A there. And I sh—and [[Autism|I called out—and I called out for you, but, uh… no response]]. So, I just didn't know what to make of that… at that point, as well.

Anyway, uh, call me back, and, uh… hopefully, we will get a chance to meet in person… on the next chance we get, and I just won't, uh, inform my mother about it.

Alright. Have yourself a fun spring break. I'll see ya in a couple of days.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie]]|nextlink=[[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-16]]

Dating ad.mp4

2011-12-02T09:54:06Z

Thsprppr: Adding fan video

{{lowercase title}}
{{recent}}
'''dating_ad.mp4''', as its title suggests, is a personal advertisement that [[Chris|Chris]] recorded sometime in 2008. In the recording, Chris awkwardly tells listeners [[virgin with rage|his situation]] and what he wants in a potential [[sweetheart]]. It should be noted that Chris stopped himself from mentioning [[Chris and Race|the preferred ethnicity]] of his future girlfriend.

This particular recording, albeit nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to Chris's [[love quest]], is unique due to the fact that it took years for it to be finally discovered in November of [[2011]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = dating_ad.mp4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|USnTmSZYRt0}}
| stardate = [[2008]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Blanca|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| shirt =

| previous = [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]
| next = None
}}

==Transcript==
"My name is, uh, Christian. I'm, uh, currently [[2008|twenty six years old]]. I'm looking for a, uh, [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|boyfriend-free...woman]] to be my [[sweetheart from the ground-up]]. Preferably, uh...one who's...well...[[Chris and Race|well, jus uh..., never mind about preference]].

But anyway, uh...definitely [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[Alcohol|alcoholic]], and, uh...yeah, b-you know, just an honest, good girl to be my, to be my sweet [[Chris and English|qu-sweetheart quality]].

''[Silence, new recording begins]''

So, uh...yeah. ''[Clears throat]'' Send me a message if, uh, you're interested. Have a good day.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler's Dating Ad!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UTLAnZW6bQ4}}
| stardate = 2 [[December 2011]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/NorojiEntertainment NorojiEntertainment]
| subject = dating_ad.mp4
}}

[[Category:Blanca Saga videos]]
[[Category:Love Quest]]

Thriller

2011-11-16T13:27:06Z

Thsprppr:

'''Thriller''' is the 14th track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of the song [[Wikipedia:Thriller (song)|Thriller]] by [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]].

One of Michael Jackson's most famous songs and an iconic track in pop music history, ''Thriller'' makes reference to the themes of classic 1950's horror cinema, and has absolutely nothing to do with cross-dressing. Why Chris included it on an album of [[Tomgirl]]-themed songs is anyone's guess.

== Audio ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Thriller"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Zh3jPsggKAY}}
| stardate = [[November 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[CWCALICIOUS]]
| next =
}}
=== Lyrics ===
''[sung over Michael Jackson's "Thriller"]''

Its close to midnight-night! 
Something evils lurkin in the dark. 
Under-der moon light, you see a sights thats almost stops your heart.

You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it 
''(anticipating start of line)''y-y-you start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes, 
You're paralyzed!

Cause this is thriller! Thriller night! 
No ones gonna save you from the beast about to strike. 
Th-the thriller! Thriller night! 
''(speeds ahead of [[Mike Jackson]])''
You're fightin-fightin for your life inside a killer thriller tonight!

You hear the door-sloor slam 
And realize there’s nowhere left to run. 
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you’ll ever see the sun. 
You close your eyes, and hope that this is just imagination girl! 

But all, all the while, you hear the creature creeping up behind. 
You’re out of time!

Cause this is thriller, thriller night, 
Ain’t no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl, 
Thriller, Thriller night! 
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight! 

C-creatures calling, dead start to walk in their masquerade.(Struggles to pronounce this word) 
There's no escapin’ the jaws of the alien dis time … they’re open wide! 
This is the end of your life. 

‘Bout to get-shit you, [mumbling] on every side. 
They will possess you, unless you change that number on your dial. 
Now this the time, for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah! 
Oh, all through the night, I’ll save you from the terror on the screen. 
I’ll make you see. 

That this is thrillaaa, thriller night 
Cause I can drill you more than any ghosts would ever dare try, 
Thriller! Thriller night! 
Let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller chiller shriller here tonight! 
Cause this is thriller, thriller night! 
Girl, I can drill you more than any ghosts would ever dare try, 
Thriller! Thriler night! 
Jackie, let me hold you tight and share a killer, thriller, ow! 

Gonna thrill you tonight!

''(Vincent Price begins his monologue, Chris misses the start)''
…ness has crossed the land 
The midnight hour is close at hand 
Creatures crawl in search of blooood 
To terrorize ya’lls neighborhood! 
I’m thrillyoutonight … 
(Incoherant mumbling, thankfully drowned out by Vincent Price. Sounds like he’s quietly repeating the lines.)

I’m gonna thrill you tonight! Oh baby! 
I'm gonna thrill tonight! Oh Jackie Baby! 
Thriller night baby! Ooooohh 
Baby, Jackie, baby. Ooh I’m gonna thrill you tonight!

[[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Foul stench]] in the air, the funk of [[Bob|forty-thousand years]], 
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb, 
Are closing in to seal to your doom. 

And though you [[CWCFighter|fight]] to stay alive, your body starts to shiver. 
For no mere mortal can resist; 
The evil of the Thri'''LLAR'''! 
''(Ending laugh cuts off after almost a second)''

[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]
{{The Tomgirls}}

Chris Chan's Public Announcement

2011-08-07T08:54:25Z

Thsprppr: mmm

In the first [[YouTube]] video posted by [[Christian]] since the launch of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Christian assumes the ED contributors have simply misunderstood him and his work, and, consequently, attempts to re-introduce himself in order to start over on the right foot.

==Watch==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan's Public Announcement
| image = {{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}
| Stardate = 07 [[November 2007]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Rumors|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{ED|text}}
| Shirt = {{YellowRedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[CWC_is_Angry#Watch|CWC is Angry]]
| next = [[CWC's_Second_Message#Video|CWC's Second Message]]
}}

{{quote|Please remember: I'm a innocent person.}}

===Transcript===

Hello. My name is Christian Weston Chandler… from [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]. [''puts on [[glasses]]'']

It has come to my attention that I have a lot... more fans of my electronk—[[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu]] than I had originally thought, and I thank each and every one of you for your support. And I will draw more [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], uh, when I get some positive inspiration, or, uh, when I feel like it. After all, everybody else—everybody has a life; so do I; [[lie|I have a life]]. [''inhales sharply'']

Anyway, it has also come to my attention that I have a lot of people who may have picked up on the wrong theories of my person. [''inhales sharply''] I will not quote any hate sites, but I would like to humbly apologize for appearing to be some kind of sleaze, [[troll]], badass, or whatever adjectives, good or explicit, you may feel about me. [''inhales sharply'']

Please understand: I am a 25 year-old, [[high-functioning autism|high-functioning autistic]] male… with a simple, ''peaceful'' dream… of becoming a father… of a sweet, little, pretty girl, who I will dub…ly name [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|“''Crystal'' Weston Chandler”]]. “Crystal”: a name that sounds similar to mine, but it has a nice ring to it. And it’s also similar to the illustrious [[Honor roll|metal]] that is mined from the Earth’s ground. “Weston”: my [[Barbara Chandler|mother’s]] maiden name, and a proper English name from royal descent. As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother’s side in the, uh, ancestrial traits [''inhales sharply''] we have, uh, we have been traced down to [[Daniel Weston]], who was on the main Mayflower voyage. And, uh, beyond him, [[Anne Boleyn]], who was the, uh, one of H—Henry VIII's… ''King'' Henry VIII's wives, who gave birth to, uh, Queen Elizabeth I, and “Chandler”: the, uh, name—the family name my father had. And, uh, from his, uh, line, uh, we have, uh, from his side of the family, we have the, uh, [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee blood]]. I'm one-sixteenth. [''inhales sharply''] And from among us Cherokees, there are very few of us left, because we were big in number, but then came along the, uh, forced march on the Trail of Tears, where some of us went into hiding…. Yeah, short line there: ''Cherokees''. We're a respected tribe. We ''should'' be respected. Anyway… even though we were forced onto the Trail of Tears, but that's another—that's another—whole 'nother story. You can go read—you can learn about in your local libraries.

Ahem. My mother and [[Bob Chandler|my father]] are both really nice, old-fashioned-type people who not only gave the birth—[[Chris and sex|gave me birth]] at their ages… which my mother is 66, currently, and my father is currently 80. They both just turned that way in the last couple of months. And, uh, I was born in [[1980s#1982|1982]]. They gave me the birth… then, and, uh, anyway, it was so nice of—for them to give me the, uh, birth during the early 1980s.

I was diagnosed with high-functional autism, and I lived a, uh, somewhat rough life. I've had an [[abusive babysitter]] at one time, [''inhales sharply''] and some of the teachers and principals of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]… that I was attending in later years (about, uh, late 1980s, early [[1990s]]) [''inhales sharply''] They abused me—[[Kick the Autistic|they abused me by pinning me to the ground]] with, uh, their ha—with, uh, holding my wrists and my ankles, pinning me down to the ground and—and audio-taping my cries and shouts. But, anyway, my mother and my father, they both fought the court system, the Greene County court system, which, uh, they were not a very nice bunch of people, very not. Hands down. But, anyway, we eventually moved to Chesterfield County for a nice, better school system. And one teacher in particular, of [[Providence Middle School]], who I would like to give much kudos to, who w—who was—who, uh, let—who not—who not only, uh, let me—who was a good—good, uh, person to go by dur—uh, during my mainstreaming, and she was also the, uh, also a good leader in my learning to cope. I wish to give kudos to [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Virginia Jeanine Sanford]], of Providence Middle School, in Chesterfield County, whose picture is, uh, in the trailer of my [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|"CWC on TV" DVD]], which is also on the—the [[YouTube]].

And, after being on [[honor roll]] throughout, uh, Providence Middle and Manchester High, Sonichu was first thought up in my senior year at Ma— [''jump cut''] …along with a nice bunch of teachers backing me up, and my circle of [[gal pal]]s (I mostly had gal—mostly had that circle during my high school years), anyway, after all that, I graduated. I graduated. Then, we moved back to, uh, our old home in Ruckersville, where I attended [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], and, eventually, I graduated from there, too, with a degree in Computer-Aided Drafting and Design, also known as "CAD/CAM".

And, uh, during my high school years, I was used to being surrounded by… girls… in my circle, and after having to, uh, leave them I felt ''ever so lonesome''. And, after the [[stress]] from some of the people—people at [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]], as well as my mental block [''mimes punching himself in the head''] of autism, it became hard from me to approach gir—approach the girls like I used to. And I would like to point out right now, at this—at, uh—during my—ever since I—ever—during the whole—my whole [[Sweetheart Search]] has started, when I turned 21 on February 24, 2002. Anyway, beyond that date, I ''never have stalked anybody''. ''Never have stalked''. I'm telling you right—I'm telling you right now. All I did was sit around, with a [[sign]] by my side that said I was looking for a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], 18-25, yadda yadda yadda, all tha— [abrupt jump cut] …page. And I did all that, because I had feared rejection, and the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], because you cannot tell which ladies are paired up, and which are not. And wedding rings, that's just a whole different story, 'cause they're married, because y—it's not like you give every women a ring who's already paired up. [''long pause''] Well, that's just one perspective. [''inhales sharply''] But, anyway, uh, I did not move from my seat… at all, unless [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|I needed to go use the restroom]]. That's it. Okay? I never moved from my seat while I'm sitting around waiting for the girl to come to me. ‘Cause that's all I'm doing there; I'm just waiting for a girl to come talk to me, 'cause... [''inhales sharply''] like I said, I'm afraid to approach them… at that point.

So please understand: I am not a violent person. I'm decent. I come from a caring, loving pair of parents. I'm kind. I'm considerate. I will respect your [[Megan|space]] [''removes glasses'']—and your feelings—ever so much. [''puts glasses back on and inhales sharply''] And… I apologize for my [[MySpace]] profile, if it appears to reflect anything on the contrary of all that. I apologize that I appear to be a [''puts on a “slow” voice and sways with each word''] [[slow-in-the-minds|slowww-miiinded perrrsonnn]]! [abrupt jump cut] I'm sorry for reflecting any negative feelings towards each of you that have felt them, including those who have had such feelings they have created, uh, demeaning web pages. ''All I ask''—''all I ask'' are those people who are watching this right now, is just… take them down? Please? I'm asking as an innocent victim of misunderstanding, just take down your web pages, or edit them to ''positively'' better reflect my feelings as an individual, as a person… as a man who has suffered, like most everybody in this world that we all live in. [''sighs'']

Thank you very much for li—for your time, and listening, and please remember: I'm a innocent person. Just like most every one of you, I've had my faults, I've had my share of… bad times, and my share of good times. Please understand that.

Thank you again. Take care.

{{Captain's Log}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|nextlink=[[CWC's Second Message]]|}}
[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2007-11-07]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-11-07]]

Mailbag 50

2011-07-12T09:33:14Z

Thsprppr: Autism? Autism.

On 30 [[January 2010]], [[Chris]] uploaded '''Mailbag 50''', containing questions picked out by himself. It is the first mailbag not uploaded by the Sysop. Oddly, none of the "letters" are actually emails, with Chris simply responding to a forum conversation a group of [[trolls|users]] have had on a [[Sonichu Forum|Sonichu fan forum]].

As such, Chris doesn't so much respond to individual letters, so much as lines of conversation. Although these letters are all cherry-picked by Chris to focus on how [[Chris and his ego|awesome]] Chris is or to support his war with [[Asperchu]], there are still plenty of letters that sarcastically mock him, with Chris [[Naive|none the wiser]]. The funniest is probably Dr. [[Wikipedia:Cthulhu|Cthulhu]], who outright mocks Chris's entire life, but in such a way as to stroke Chris's [[ego]] enough for Chris to thank him for his input. Chris also bolds parts of most of the letters to put focus on specific points, or to downplay the negative things people say about him (or positive things they say about Asperchu). The note at the top implies that Chris has deliberately chosen a few harsh letters so he won't seem like such a pussy.

==Special note==

{{EmailReply|This mailbag is one that I have personally put together to show EVERYONE the BEST examples of how Letters in the Mailbag Should be phrased, thought and written. Please take the following examples to heart when writing future letters to me at the Cwcipedia. In a nutshell, though, the recent letters were JUST TOO DARN HARSH and [[autism|CONFUSING]]. These here are nearly harsh, but more comprehensible to me. 
I am only doing this once, and these have come from a True, Good and Loyal Sonichu Fan Forum Site.

Thank you, and Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

==Letters==

===Asperchu causes homosexuality===
{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu I try not to be a [[homo]]phobe, but I myself have struggled with homosexuality, and the gay ads on [[CWCipedia]] are NOT helping. They're gone for now, thanks to Alec Benson Leary (probably the only good thing he's ever done), but it's kind of worse. The other day out of curiosity I clicked and '''read some [[Asperchu]] and [[Simonchu]]. Terrible comic''', but the homosexuality in it aroused me, brought back old feelings and I couldn't help but...do it to myself. If Chris doesn't make Alec take them down I may have to stop reading Sonichu forever!}}

===Especially in children===
{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme '''Yeah those ads were terrible'''. As a devout Christian, I try to be accepting and understanding but those ads were very explicit. I thought about writing Chris a letter in protest for letting those ads be placed on CWCkipedia. One day, '''my little brother almost saw them. He could have turned into a homosexual just by looking at them!'''}}

===The beauty of dickless ads===
{{Email|From: stacieee

um, i kno this is gonna make me real unpopular around here, but i've actually started goin to the asperpedia when the ads on cwcipedia are bad

'''asperpedia ISN'T AS GOOD AS CWCIPEDIA, the big CWC will always own my heart lol!''' but at least their ads are under control and they don't have all like dicks and stuff.}}

===Straight girls hate dicks===
{{Email|From: carissamae
'''Ughhhhhh! I agree so much! I feel bad because it seems like Christian C. isn't able to get rid of any of these ads and they are ruining his site! He really needs to get rid of those ads because straight girls like me get grossed out when they have to see so many horrible ads like that.'''

Did you see the ads that had so many penises in them? Oh my godddd!}}

===Retarded chimpanzee colors===
{{Email|From: valentina
'''Yeah the Asperpedia isn't as good because it's not about Sonichu''', but it's got a ton more articles and it looks a lot better...I hate the colors Chris chose for the CWCIPEDIA, it looks like something a color-blind retarded chimpanzee picked out of a crayon box.

Though I really don't care much about Asperchu, it does seem that Alec gives a lot of effort to his fans, he uploads a lot of content every day and is very polite when replying to fan mail. So I think he should be respected for that.}}

{{EmailReply|In an immediate response to you, I have read notes from people complaining about the classic background art. I will take votes from future letters up till the end of February, 2010; Should the background be of '''A single Solid Color, Character Images''' or '''What?''' Mailbags beyond this 50 will count towards the votings for this issue. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:29, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris the humble===
{{Email|From: foofs '''Alec wishes he was as popular as Big CWC''' but he does upload alot of content all the time and is very polite so kudos to him, but '''he's still got nothing on CWC'''.}}

{{EmailReply|I could not personally agree more, and I am doing what I can to have Alec's "Manager", Mao, REMOVE all of his ads from this, my Cwcipedia. It is a struggling task, especially in verbal exchange; it is like [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|talking to a brick wall]]. But maybe with your inputs, they will finally understand, take them down and leave us be with the Cwcipedia as it should be. --ChrisChanSonichu 17:20, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

==The "Chris's art sucks on purpose" emails==

{{Email|From: zap2daxtreme
Ok, I know a lot of you might not agree with this, but I'm kind of disappointed about Chris's mailbag behavior. I mean, I know '''he must get a lot of mail from people trying to troll him and it stresses him out''', but that's no reason to be so rude with HONEST fans! For most of us Sonichu fans, if not all, that is our only means of communication with the CWC himself. I've wanted to send letters but I'm kind of worried he might misunderstand and yell at me.

Anyone else?}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris has NOT gone mad with power! He's a very sensitive and disturbed genius and you can't expect him to act like a bland normal person! He's avant garde, he does strange things that don't make sense with some purpose in mind. His entire life is his art, and as he says, his art speaks for him. The seemingly crude childish style of Sonichu is done, not because he can't draw, but to make a statement'''. Some of the "questionable" videos he made, like where he does the naughty with with the naughty doll, or drinks his...you know...are done because he strives to break down boundaries of "normalcy" and "morality" and "common sense", because these ideas are a lie constructed by the corporate elite to keep us down and make us normal.

His terse, unpleasant cwcipedia responses are his attempt to redefine the relationship between the master and the followers. So we aren't forced to rely on him, but on ourselves!}}

{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx i think '''the purpose behind the use of a child-like artistic style is to invoke the feel of childhood imagination'''. who didnt used to scribble funny doodles about their favorite cartoon characters when they were little? for me sonichu '''reminds me of being a little kid and not having to worry about grown up stuff like college and money and my stupid dead-end job. thats why i like it so much'''.}}

{{Email|From: lucywatson Me too! My little brother, whom suffers from Down's Syndrome, draws in the same exact style, and it's nice to see someone draw like him! '''My little brother gets so much inspiration from Chris because his art is just like the popular Sonichu! I think that's why Chris draws in such a childish, and in some ways slow in the mind way. He wishes to be an inspiration''' to mentally handicapped children everywhere!}}

{{Email|From: Dr. Cthulhu
'''Chris challenges you to change your ideas about what constitutes "art". He's very post modern, always pushing the envelope of what we perceive of as "quality".'''

'''Are yo brave enough''' to make yourself stupider '''to follow him into the creative world he wishes to lead us? I, for one, AM!'''

Seriously, it takes a lot of talent to draw in such an intentionally crude and childish manner.}}

{{Email|From: Politails
I kind of wish he'd buy a drawing tablet for his computer and learn to draw digitally just so we could get comic pages faster. Coloring in a full page in marker takes forever.

In photoshop, all you have to do is make a layer under your outlines, pick your color, use the paintbrush to close any gaps in the outline, and use the paintbucket tool (click a few times so it bleeds under the inside edge of the outline) with "use all layers" selected and BAM! you've filled a whole shape with flat color in two seconds. There's more advanced ways, but this is what I usually do and it's really quick.

'''You guys are right though, the childlike-style is part of the charm and it wouldn't be Sonichu without it.'''}}

{{EmailReply|I deeply apologize for being rude in some of my responses to Mailbag Letters, but between you all, you have theorized correctly; I am not mad with power, I do feel sensitive and can take Harshest Criticism ONLY to a Certain Level. And I do feel that I AM a disturbed creative genius; between my life with Autism, real life events and people when and who have taunted and tortured me, the Online Internet tortures of the Encyclopedia Dramatica page, ALL of the Trolls deceiving me with pretending to be Women and Friends just to get the Naked Content they have conned me out of, Having trouble separating True Person from Troll on the Internet through Typed Letters and such... I am a Very Complex Person; Avant Garde, as '''Dr. Cthulhu''' puts it. And the Trolls ONLY THINK they know me, but they have NEVER met me In Person in Real Life, much less LEARN how much of a Caring, Trustworthy Person I am. If I did not have to deal with such tortures, I would be as Bland as Alec and his bunch. How Bland would my comics be if I had not have to suffer from all of MY OWN Trail of Tears.

--ChrisChanSonichu 17:47, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Good writing sucks===

{{Email|From: xxros3ychuxx

dunno if this is exactly the right forum for this topic but it had to be mentioned eventually lol! what do you guys think of all the sonichu spin-off comics (or '''fanfiction comics''', if you prefer) that are around these days?

personally i sometimes read asperchu but '''after the chaotic combo got killed off i was so sad i just couldnt stand it anymore!!'''

it was really poignant and dramatic but '''it was so sad (and not to mention so gross-looking!!!) that i just felt too stressed to read it anymore!''' at least when people die horribly violent deaths in Chris's comic you just hear about it, never see it (like [[Ivy]] *shudders*)!!!!!}}

===Yay, Max!===

{{Email|From: valentina
'''I don't care much about Asperchu just because some of the things he does seem to be mean to Chris, like we all know that Sonichu hates pickles but he wrote them into the story anyway'''. But other things are really fun, like I looooove [[Max]], he's so cute! I also think the scenes where Asperchu and Sonichu spend some time together are really cute. I love how they call each other "Joy-boys"!

I wish Christian incorporated more of that male bonding / friendship aspect in his stories. I don't know about you girls, but seeing guys acting affectionate and tender really turns me on.}}

===Obviously they didn't notice [[Inos]]===

{{Email|From: carissamae '''I think sometimes Asperchu is mean to Christian W. Chandler like when Asperchu called him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]! That was not very nice.''' But I think Asperchu teaches some really good lessons and Jivin is such a good character. I wish Christian C. would have some black characters in his comics but he doesn't.}}

===And in closing...===
{{EmailReply|You all are singing with my choir on why Alec's pages are bad. Ivy was actually a real person in Real Life, and I had thought we'd stay a couple forever, but then she commited Suicide after a series of events. I could not go on drawing her in. To disclose real-life links, I '''Made Up''' [[Lovely Weather]] for my cartoon self; She is not a real person. And her name comes from the Christmas Song, "Sleigh Ride", with the lyric that can be repeated over and over to [[Autism|continue to be good]], "(Come on, it's) Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" "Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with" '''Love Weather, she's a beautiful girl.'''
And as a real-life homophobe, I would rarely draw such closeness between dudes, even in a Platonic Sense; I feel creeped out if I were to even think that. *Shudder* And there are people of other countries and colors within Cwcville, like I have just introduced Cwcville [[Police]] Constable, '''Louis Perez'''; he's a black dude, yes, and you can see the "bro-han" link I am comfortable drawing and portraying with such.

Anyway, I'll leave this mailbag with that for now; I will answer more mailbag letters in the past three later today. Plus, I have snow on my ground right now, and I should do some more shoveling. :(

Y'all take care, stay safe, and have a good day,

--ChrisChanSonichu 18:02, 30 January 2010 (CET)}}

{{Mailbag}}

Chris and electronics

2011-06-26T23:30:31Z

Thsprppr: RAM

The most important tool of Chris is his '''computer'''. His window to the world, Chris uses it to connect with his fans and to espouse his way of life. Needless to say, [[PSEye|just like everything else he has]], he ruins it in some way.

==Type of computer and equipment==
Currently, Chris uses an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion|HP Pavilion]] desktop computer,<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]</ref> situated in the kitchen at [[14 Branchland Court]]. The computer runs [[Wikipedia:Windows XP|Windows XP]].<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]</ref> It's equipped with a scanner and a printer (or perhaps a scanner/printer combo), allowing him to scan [[Sonichu (comic)|comic pages]] and print [[Chris and art|artwork]]. He also must have a broadband connection to the [[internet]], since he's been able to connect to Mumble voice chats. The computer has a version of Adobe PhotoDeluxe installed on it,<ref>[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]</ref> which Chris primarily uses to [[Chris and writing|type in text bubbles in his comics]] or [[Rosechu|to alter the truth]].

Despite taking a course in computer construction,<ref>[[Father_Call#Prophetic_dreams_and_Bob_Chandler]]</ref> Chris did not know the difference between RAM and HD space.<ref>[[Mumble_6#Music_and_Computers]]</ref> When confronted about forgetting things so often, he claims that his memory works like RAM, believing the "random" in RAM means that it only works some of the time, or randomly (despite the fact that it almost means the exact opposite).<ref>Kacey_Call_12</ref>

==Computer Troubles==
To hear Chris tell it, his computer is on its last legs. In his conversations with [[Alec Benson Leary calls|Alec Benson Leary]], Chris complained that multiple power surges (resulting from blackouts in his area) have disabled his computer for days at a time, forcing him to restore it constantly. In mid-[[February 2010]], this was his excuse for failing to regularly upload new comic pages. When Alec reasonably asked him why he didn't just buy a new, more reliable computer, Chris claimed that [[monthly tugboat|he doesn't have the money]]. (A low-end replacement for his current machine, powerful enough for his purposes, would only cost a few hundred dollars, but apparently Chris [[video games|has better]] [[sex toys|things to buy]].)

Chris often claimed to be unable to upload videos for Jackie or chat with her via instant message because he couldn't get his computer to start up, causing him much [[stress]] and discomfort over the possibility that she would feel that he is neglecting her and break up with him. Chris continued to complain that he didn't have the money for a new PC, all the while continuing to buy new video games for his second PS3. To make things worse, Chris later revealed that there was a second, working PC in the house, and the only reason he didn't attempt to use it is because it was blocked by a pile of clothes (which incidentally is the same excuse he uses for [[HairDifference|not showering]]).<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

'''Chris's Computer Maintenance:'''
*STEP 1: Turn computer on.
*STEP 2: Wait for computer to start up. If it fails, go to Step 1.

==See also==
*[[PS3]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Kacey

2011-04-25T00:12:11Z

Thsprppr: Fixing references to Ian

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Kacey.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Kacey
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Kacey Devoria
|-
| '''Full name'''
| Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 30 June 1983
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Matt Devoria]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| Kale Devoria (elder brother) Kara Devoria (little sister)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Liquid Chris]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
|Nursing/Biology undergraduate
|-
|}

'''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler''', née '''Devoria''' (born 30 June [[1983]]), is the [[sweetheart]] of [[CChanSonichuCWC]] (Liquid Chris) who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]", "[[china|kind]]" personality, as Ian believes all women do. As Ian is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!

==Background==

Basically, Ian became enraged with jealousy that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and come all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man, it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Ian was trying to trick her.

Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] the impostor has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that <s>becomes</s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note is that Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris's [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part, Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the real Chris. Ian, of course, never notices.

As revealed by Ian in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr and Mrs D (Devoria).

Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.

==Contact with Ian==

On 3 [[August 2009]], Ian sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.

On 4 August 2009, Ian created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.

Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Ian tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood, he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proved he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or he'd put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never noticed the glaring differences while he [[recycling|ate]] his own [[navy]] off of her.

On 15 August 2009, she posted a video announcing ChanSonichuCWC's disappearance and felt distraught and heartbroken over the event, calling the police and going as far as to withdraw herself from their marriage.
{{Deletedvideo}}
{{Infobox/Galpal
| name = August 15, 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|K9kIcTdeqYU}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = Kacey
| Subject = [[CChanSonichuCWC]]
| Video Type = Worry
| Other Info = Kacey goes insane over Liquid's disappearance.
}}

On 20 August 2009, she posted another video announcing that the police believed the kidnapping was a hoax, and asked for peace while hoping for the real Chris's return.
{{Deletedvideo}}
{{Infobox/Galpal
| name = Update
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2KNlmx8Nt2o}}
| Stardate = 20 August 2009
| Maker = Kacey
| Subject = [[CChanSonichuCWC]]
| Video Type = Reason
| Other Info = Kacey finds out the kidnapping was a hoax.
}}

==The Love Quest==

Once [[CChanSonichuCWC#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Ian and Kacey began to emerge. In Ian's [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Ian would later officially proclaim his love for her in the [[fail|creatively]] titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared.

In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Ian graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Ian implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Ian as friends.

However, Ian being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Ian's Sinatra-esque tones]].

==The end of Kacey==

Ian and Kacey's <s>friendship</s> love affair continued for a while afterward, until Ian got into an [[Father Call|argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Ian's chances were utterly dashed after she got a hold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing go and ''shoot'' Liquid. Horrified, Kacey scorned Ian for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call|a final phone call to him]], never to return. Ian would later upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.

With the release of [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|the ''actual'' final phone call between Kacey and Ian,]] it is shown that Kacey is very wise about Ian's dealings. Following the end of the call, Kacey makes an assumption about Ian never mentioning her again. While he does in [[CWC is sad]], the very next day after said video, a new video is released where [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|Ian is smiling from ear to ear.]] The very next day. The coincidence is stunning.

==Marriage to Liquid==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|The happy couple.]]

Liquid and Kacey were married on 11 [[November 2009]], at 2 p.m. EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Solid tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving copyright papers, which, as you probably guessed, [[Fail|failed miserably]].

Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid Chris resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].

==See also==
*[[Kacey calls]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
*[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Devoria, Kacey}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]