CWCki - User contributions [en]

User talk:PsychoNerd054

2022-05-18T20:39:25Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico:

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==Adding CWC-isms==
While you've done a lot of good work adding some newer entries to the [[Minor CWC-isms]] page, I'm not sure some of your recent edits are distinctive enough to be CWC-isms by the standards on the page. Both [https://www.google.com/search?q=adulting "adulting"] and "young at heart" are in fairly common use with usage not particularly different from Chris's. They may be the kind of phrases Chris would stereotypically use but even with your descriptions to add context neither seems idiosyncratically Chris's. I do think both would have a place in a section of another page on Chris's immaturity, though. [[User:Ericitos Verdes|Ericitos Verdes]] ([[User talk:Ericitos Verdes|talk]]) 02:39, 28 August 2017 (UTC)

* That sounds like a good idea, I mainly put them into the index because I felt like Chris misused these words when he used them on his recent posts on how much he refuses to grow up. On what page do you propose we put this information on? [[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd054]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 02:52, 28 August 2017 (UTC)
== Enablers Article ==
Mind if I help out the enablers article I see in your userpage? I have a few ideas. [[User:Duff101|Duff101]] ([[User talk:Duff101|talk]]) 12:16, 10 December 2019 (UTC)

*Definitely, please help out if you can. [[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd054]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 14:25, 10 December 2019 (UTC)
== Sorry for autism ==
[[User:Klop|Your friendly neighbourhood Klop]] ([[User talk:Klop|talk]]) 14:13, 9 June 2020 (UTC)

:I wouldn’t really call it autism. It’s just a newbie mistake you just made. [[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd054]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 14:16, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
:: One more thing, I've completed Kacey call 11, so you can remove that from your userpage. - [[User:Klop|Your friendly neighbourhood Klop]] ([[User talk:Klop|talk]]) 14:43, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
: Chris and math also requires a rewrite - [[User:Klop|Your friendly neighbourhood Klop]] ([[User talk:Klop|talk]]) 03:43, 12 June 2020 (UTC)

==Chris and ==
My sandbox page has some more edits planned out they have been approved by hurtful truth level, so can you complete the ones that a non-jerkop cannot. - [[User:Klop|Klop (HALO INFINITE HYPE ((343 better not fuck it up)))]] ([[User talk:Klop|talk]]) 17:15, 26 June 2020 (UTC)

:Sure thing. Which of your two sandboxes is it in?[[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd054]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 01:36, 27 June 2020 (UTC)

:[[User:Klop/Sandbox]] under the ideas section - [[User:Klop|Klop (HALO INFINITE HYPE ((343 better not fuck it up)))]] ([[User talk:Klop|talk]]) 01:38, 27 June 2020 (UTC)

==Discord==
Theres been a lot of leaks in the discord and we need your help, it deals with the OCs. Can you join it? If you do, let me know on there so I can give you permission to access them - [[User:Klop|klop]] ([[User talk:Klop|talk]]) 14:51, 10 August 2020 (UTC)

:Yes. Just give me a link and I’ll be ready to go.[[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd054]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 15:10, 10 August 2020 (UTC)

:: https://discord.gg/b5GU9cz Hurtful Truth Level should be online, ask him to give you mod. Then ask Ross to explain the current situation. - [[User:Klop|klop]] ([[User talk:Klop|talk]]) 15:34, 10 August 2020 (UTC)

== Revert ==

Hi, you reverted my edit stating that the ween Dylon Winfield got hit with the ugly hammer. this is undoubtedly true, and I thought it was appropriate to add, so why'd you remove it? Did I break some rule? I'd be interested in knowing, TIA. [[User:Xcalibur|Xcalibur]] ([[User talk:Xcalibur|talk]]) 15:08, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

:As much as we joke around about certain people on this wiki, it's best not to get sidetracked with observations like that, the wiki is about primarily Chris, not the retards that contact him. When we do talk about people related to Chris, we primarily talk about their involvement with him. That's why I reverted your edit. [[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 15:45, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

::I see what you mean. I guess that simple statement could easily turn into piling onto other aspects of that ween, like how his horror novel probably sucks ass (I haven't read it, but I'm sure it does). I was wondering what the issue was, and that clears it up. Thanks for your response. [[User:Xcalibur|Xcalibur]] ([[User talk:Xcalibur|talk]]) 07:19, 16 September 2021 (UTC)

== About Ymlunneforh71.png ==

Whoops, I didn't realize it would display the raw source of my edit on the image upload. Sorry about that. Probably a good call to hide that edit. Just wanted to give you a heads-up that it's still there in the image upload summary on the page. I don't know if you can manually hide/edit/remove the summary, but if not, you might just want to delete the image and reupload. --[[User:4CentUser|4CentUser]] ([[User talk:4CentUser|talk]]) 23:52, 22 September 2021 (UTC)

:I'll probably just add a new version of the image, which would basically be a duplicate, and then remove the old version. [[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 00:01, 23 September 2021 (UTC)

::I ultimately decided to delete the old image entirely, and replaced it, as the comment contained her first name in the raw code. Just put the source back in, as I don't know how to use noinclude correctly.[[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 00:20, 23 September 2021 (UTC)

== I am the template god ==

Thanks for your message. I make an effort to not include ones that say I'm an admin or something. Sometimes I genuinely use my page to find templates. [[User:Foobar|Foobar]] ([[User talk:Foobar|talk]]) 11:37, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

:There's a page for that. It's right [[CWCki:Templates|here]]. [[User:PsychoNerd054|Psycho]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 13:13, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

:In addition, here's a link for all of the [[User:PsychoNerd054/MyTemplates|saga navigation templates]].[[User:PsychoNerd054|Psycho]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 13:18, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

== But I'm not the category god ==

I just realized these antics make me show up in nearly every category. How do I nocat the entire page? [[User:Foobar|Foobar]] ([[User talk:Foobar|talk]]) 11:43, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

:Not sure if there's a way to do that, as some of the templates, especially the saga navigation templates, have categories embeded in them. I suggest blanking your user page, and just using the Template Library link I sent you if you need to find templates. [[User:PsychoNerd054|Psycho]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 13:14, 20 January 2022 (UTC)

::It's not ''for'' finding templates, I just thought it'd be absurd to imagine all of these things applying to one entity. I'll tone it down a little. [[User:Foobar|Foobar]] ([[User talk:Foobar|talk]]) 02:56, 22 January 2022 (UTC)

== Prayer names ==

I think all letters should keep the standard of having the date in the title. I understand the last letters to Spamton and Kengle are related but every other one is named by date. The only exceptions I see are if two letters are from the same day or the date is unknown.

:I felt like calling them both "prayer to ______" for consistency's sake, plus Kengle's letter has an unknown date. Also, be sure to use 4 ~'s at the end of your message to write a signature. [[User:PsychoNerd054|Psycho]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 12:19, 3 March 2022 (UTC)

== Schedisphilia ==

Last December, you reverted my edit to the "Chris and Sex" page. I think it's possibly because you think the subject of Chris getting turned on by cartoon characters is irrelevant despite the correlation to Chris's overt horniness which has led him into all sorts of trouble time and time again, and the fact that a recent chatlog had him explicitly state how he had dream of himself being Sonic the Hedgehog having sex with Sally Acorn. UmJammer and 4centuser don't wish to continue the conversation, but I think maybe you may be interested. Now, let's look past the obvious disconcerting tidbit that Chris had recently been having sexual fantasies about two technically underage(Sonic and Sally are teenagers at age 16) anthropomorphic funny animals(furries, bestiality tendencies, Sonic is a hedgehog, Sally is a chipmunk), and look at the bigger picture. Chris is jacking off to cartoons. And I think, based on monumental certifiable evidence, that this attraction to cartoons is symptom of his warped sexuality and indicative of degenerate tendencies that lead to things like incest, pedophilia and bestiality. I mean, why would anyone masturbate to cartoons when real porn, made by willing actors and actresses, is available?

Number one, why would you, remove a segment called "Schediaphilia", which without bias, demonstrated that the subject of the wiki finds cartoons attractive, completely altogether? And yet, why would you, keep the homosexuality segment, when homosexuality is really just an orientation due to biological hiccups that we can't control? Are you one to say, that being a homosexual is weirder and more noteworthy than being attracted to cartoon characters? And number two, why would one dismiss the opinions of one Howard Stern, who has done numerous radio shows, and has talked about sex and interviewed about sex to such a degree for so many years and made so much money that it is without doubt that we can consider him to be an expert on healthy sexuality. -[[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] ([[User talk:TippyToesTommyTalarico|talk]]) 13:38, 18 May 2022 (UTC)

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User talk:UmJammer Lammy

2022-05-18T19:12:36Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico:

==Revision of My Edit==
We'll talk more on some other congruent subjects, but for now, this is solely about my edit, and the need to do it right. On November 18 2021, you undid an edit I made about Chris's attraction to cartoon characters. Your reasoning was "Removing this both for being poorly-written and because Chris isn't exceptional in this regard." So, I went back and made an in depth edit with links to other pages on the site which serve as proof, and overhauled my prose to fit what I felt was the Cwcki's neutral wiki standard POV. I removed *Channer terms like "rule 34" and explanations thereof, believing that such things were what you and 4CentUser considered as "poorly written". So, no condemnations, not even a hint of condemnation. No opinions. No silly willy channer talk. Just notations of instances of Chris expressing sexual arousal to cartoons and anime, and it was perfectly in line with the other sub headers. It went down like this: 1. Homosexuality 2. Pedophilia 3.Bestiality and than 4. Schediaphilia. And yes, I research too, the scientific term for this kind of sexual attraction, according to Urban Dictionary is "Schediaphilia" from the Greek word for "Love of Drawings". So here, I felt that my edit meets the standards. But no, because then on November 25 2021, I see my edit removed again, with your reasoning being: "Chris isn't exceptional in this regard, it just reads like you have a personal agenda against things you don't like just because Howard Stern said so." So now, I really trying hard here, to meet the standards of this CWCki. What am I doing wrong? And if Chris being attracted to cartoons is not notable, then would that mean the "Is Chris a furry?" segment is not notable or "exceptional" either? [[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] ([[User talk:TippyToesTommyTalarico|talk]]) 18:49, 25 November 2021 (UTC)

==Exceptionalism==
On another note, just so that we're on the same level of understanding, what do you mean by "exceptional"? I browse Kiwi Farms a lot sometimes, and there, "exceptional" is the word filter word for "retarded". So when you say "Chris is not exceptional in that regard", do you mean he is not notable enough in that aspect? Or do you mean that this aspect does not make him stupid? [[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] ([[User talk:TippyToesTommyTalarico|talk]]) 19:13, 25 November 2021 (UTC)

==Reply; Cartoon and Anime Porn 1, Relevancy to Chris==
Chris finding cartoons to be arousing is actually quite relevant. He got "married" to his own creation Magi-chan and willingly believed the many obvious falsehoods of the Idea Guys; the central core of which being that a "sexy" cute anime girl named Hyper Dimensional Neptunia was going to enter his dimension, wave a magic wand and make all his problems disappear. My thesis here is that Chris Chan created a disconnect with real life in favor of a fantasy, and just like many of his weird behaviors can be contributed to his autism mixed with his upbringing, so too, can his disconnected grasp of reality be attributed to his being sexually aroused by cartoon women. True, Chris is indeed, far from the only person who masturbated to cartoons, and he is also far from the only person who threw tantrums on the internet, and he is also far from the only person to make a recolor of Sonic The Hedgehog and think Sega would scout him, and he is far from the only person to draw himself as a furry anime hero, and he is also far from the only person to not shower and not get a job and still wonder why girls don't like him. The thing is, is like those latter things, masturbating to cartoons is an embarrassing thing and the hallmark of a loser. A lolcow. And maybe it should be that way, because otherwise, we might be normalizing a bad thing and bringing all society down with that. Or, maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong about that and hentai has its place in the world like a lot of other things like I used to think when I was back in late high school/college. But still, I'd argue that attraction to cartoons should a noted, maybe just a few sentences next time if there's a next time. [[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] ([[User talk:TippyToesTommyTalarico|talk]]) 17:30, 30 November 2021 (UTC)

==Reply; Cartoon and Anime Porn 2, The World's Opinion Thereof==
I'm not saying that Chris getting aroused from pornographic/cheesecake/fetish anime and cartoon art is the worst thing he's done. It's not. What I'm saying is that it is a notable thing. Something to jot down. For instance, if we were to talk about Andrew Dobson, and we will, we would note that he drew fetish art of anime schoolgirls getting cartoonishly blown up like baloons and then cartoonishly popped. Why? Because one's sexual preferences, as I was told by my irl friends, shows a window into a person's soul. If the person is sexually interested things most normal people are sexually into, like breasts/pecs, buttocks and thighs, maybe genitalia, then there's nothing to write home about, that person is normal. But if the person say, is aroused by an illustrated pink haired girl in a sailor uniform, with a child like baby face, then that says a little more about a person, and may be indicative of something. Just like if a person like Chris is attracted to his cartoon representation of a girl wearing a sailor moon uniform, or a girl transformed into a cartoon hedgehog, it may be indicative that this person is sexually warped and with that, is packaged with a bunch of other problems. Again, you can prove me wrong, but tell me of some successful and most of all, moral decent human beings who have cartoon fetishes. Can you name any? See, there's no personal vendetta at all. No anger, just love, empathy, and the sense of doing what's right. Why would I be angry or jealous at your typical guy in his parent's basement, living off of mommy and daddy's money buying imported goods until the well runs dry? Who would want to be that? There's nothing to be envious about that. If anything, such people need society's help or society needs to mend its cracks so people don't end up like that. It is alsot not just Howard Stern that made me think differently about this subject. This common thing you see on the internet, that may be actually damaging if not viewed a certain way(that is, with a critical and educated lens i.e. litmus testing, "Haha, this is misanthropic and perverse, I can't believe fap to this, people who do have issues"). It was also Socraturtles, it was also BennetTheSage, it was a medium article, it was Steve Blum, it was Hayao freaking Miyazaki, it was Satoshi Kon, it was my irl friends, it's the world and my observations thereof. Not one different opinion made me think differently they all had a hand. Though here is a link to Mark Friggan's run down on the November 26 show of Howard Stern courtesy of Mark Friggan if you are curious. These are his words not mine: http://www.marksfriggin.com/news18/11-26.htm Just hit ctrl+f and type in "hentai" to see Stern and company's two cents on that. I don't know if this show is archived on sirius xm, but you can try. Like I said, Hayao Miyazaki, anime god, has condemned attraction to cartoons https://www.polygon.com/animation-cartoons/2020/5/25/21266704/hayao-miyazaki-anime-was-a-mistake-meme-explained Here's this quote:

"You see, whether you can draw like this or not, being able to think up this kind of design, it depends on whether or not you can say to yourself, “Oh, yeah, girls like this exist in real life.” If you don’t spend time watching real people, you can’t do this, because you’ve never seen it. Some people spend their lives interested only in themselves. Almost all Japanese animation is produced with hardly any basis taken from observing real people, you know. It’s produced by humans who can’t stand looking at other humans. And that’s why the industry is full of otaku!"--Hayao Miyazaki

So, from that quote, we correlate what Miyazaki said right there, to what I brought up about "disconnecting from reality" just like Chris Chan did, and like so many other "weebs" are doing, but not realizing. Miyazaki's quote especially relates to Chris because we can all agree that he is one of the people who are only interested in themselves, as evidenced by his heavy presence in his fictional work based on an idealized version of his real life. But Miyzaki isn't the the only anime master, to condemn masturbation to cartoons, despite the long list of previously desperate lesser anime authors who dabbled in hentai to break out. https://sotaku.com/29-famous-manga-and-anime-artists-that-have-done-ero-manga/ Enter Satoshi Kon, who you may know as the creator of such movies like Perfect Blue, Millennium Actress, Tokyo Godfathers, and Paprika. Satoshi Kon also did a tv series called "Paranoia Agent", in where a pop cartoonist claims to get attacked by a bat wielding maniac, setting forth a chain of events to drags her whole city into a wave of paranoia. I really recommend this one series to you, because not just is it superbly written with a great ongoing social commentary that breaks cultural barriers, but also because of this one c-plot involving an otaku. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cy90iySXAAEBJGv?format=jpg&name=medium An obsessive doll collecting otaku who seems to have a fetish for anime girls of many different types in many different articles of fetish clothing(sailor school unforms, nurse outfits, cheerleader outfits, qi paos, bunny girls, cat girls, the works). http://explodedgoat.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/PAE3_shot1.png Like all such cartoon masturbators he is a chubby schlubby nerd that can't get a date, so he resorts to hiring a prostitute. I won't spoil much but eventually, he toom disconnects from reality, and gets consumed by his hobbies and interests and nullified in a way because of that. The one positive thing though, is that his nullification did serve as a stepping stone for this super cool superhero to use as a means of getting to the bottom of the thing destroying the city. Here's an article on Satoshi Kon's two cents. https://the-artifice.com/satoshi-kon-otaku-anime/ --[[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] ([[User talk:TippyToesTommyTalarico|talk]]) 13:24, 07 December 2021 (UTC)

: ''Again, you can prove me wrong, but tell me of some successful and most of all, moral decent human beings who have cartoon fetishes. Can you name any?''

Sorry, I can't read minds so I can't know if everyone who faps to cartoons is a good or bad person and frankly I don't care. This wiki also does not care if Howard Stern or Hayao Miyazaki condemn such behavior and you should just drop the subject as it goes beyond the site's scope. I'm quitting this conversation as it goes nowhere and I'm not interested in debating whether fapping to drawings is right or wrong, and if you re-add that to any article I'll remove it on sight, okay?. [[User:UmJammer Lammy|UmJammer Lammy]] ([[User talk:UmJammer Lammy|talk]]) 04:27, 9 December 2021 (UTC)

==Sally Acorn Dream==
I know you wanted to stop talking about the subject of Chris's Schedephilia, and it's potential status as a genuine mental disorder, all together, and I respect that, as I'm going to try to continue the conversation with Psychonerd instead.

However, I do want you to check this out:
https://sonichu.com/cwcki/The_Place_chats_(February_2021)#Sally_Acorn_Dream

Now you see? The Sailor Moon poster incident and the rule 34 Encyclopedia Dramatica uploads don't seem too irrelevant anymore do they? Just keep that in mind. -[[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] ([[User talk:TippyToesTommyTalarico|talk]]) 12:11, 18 May 2022 (UTC)

User talk:4CentUser

2022-01-03T20:58:28Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico:

== Refn ==

Nice work on adding the refn template. It's a neat addition. [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 23:50, 30 September 2021 (UTC)

:Thanks! I was trying to add a footnote with a reference inside it to the Randy Stair video transcript and realized it didn't work with the normal formatting, so I just imported it from Wikipedia. --[[User:4CentUser|4CentUser]] ([[User talk:4CentUser|talk]]) 19:24, 1 October 2021 (UTC)

== Discord ==

Do you have an account on the CWCki server? Just feel we should talk for a bit. [[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 15:19, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
:I don't, but I can join it if you want. --[[User:4CentUser|4CentUser]] ([[User talk:4CentUser|talk]]) 15:22, 3 October 2021 (UTC)

== The Reversion of My Edits and the Subject of Cartoon and Anime Porn ==

On 22 October 2021‎, you decided to revert the edits I made on the "Chris and Sex" article. The sub page was "Cartoon and Anime" porn. Your reason was "literally none of this has anything to do with chris[sic]".

Now, I may have gone on wild tangents with that edit, maybe going into unnecessary history anime porn distribution in America(which, was for the sole sake of source citing and noteworthiness), and maybe I went on too long about one notable radio Shock Jock's opinion. But, the subject has a LOT to do with Chris and how he sees sex for simple factor. Chris is erotically aroused by Cartoons and Anime, and that makes him different from normal folks.

I don't wish to cause trouble here. In fact, I only come in the best of intentions, to keep this wiki alive and imbue it with the best useful information possible. So I'm just going to have a friendly argument with you over the subject of Cartoon and Anime porn and its possible hand in creating sexually disturbed weirdos, sexually disturbed weirdos like Chris.

I'll start off this debate by bringing up a copypasta from Encyclopedia Dramatica about a-log. In short, it was a long list of compare-and-contrast that was written in order to show that A-log and Chris are a lot alike(and also to show, that by list's normie trollish standards and logic, A-log was more pathetic then Chris because he was fatter and was still a virgin). The item on the list caught my attention was "both think cartoons are attractive, and see nothing wrong with that." The key words are that they "see nothing wrong with that", in contrast to normal folks, who don't see cartoon characters in a sexual light.

Chris looked at a Sailor Moon poster on his ceiling to "Stay Straight." And he made cartoon porn of his own creations for the sake of masturbating to them. I will repeat that although Sailor Moon has been joked about being boner inducing in anime fandom, the fact remains that the characters in that show are high school and junior high school girls, which means if a 27 year old was to look at the main character of that show and pop a boner, that makes that 27 year old a hebephile or an ephebiphile by definition respectively. At least according to this video by this genius 14 year old:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmIMrPZGzP0

Lastly, back to the opinion of the shock jock. He makes more money than you or I, and he has friends everywhere. Howard Stern has watched and fapped to more pornography than you could ever imagine. He has interviewed an incredible amount of porn stars and kinky folks on his show. So, when this man says that cartoon masturbators disgust him, and that he considers himself superior to all cartoon masturbators on planet Earth, because is solely normal porn masturbator... Well, I think that says a lot, don't you think? How many do you know irl, admit that they fap to hentai? And how many of those are successful people with jobs and families? Aren't all of such are fat social invalids like Chris? -- [[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]]

:This is a lot to unpack, and I was originally going to give an elaborate point-by-point response, but I decided that's not worth it. No offense, but I'll just be completely honest about the reason why I reverted your edits: Your writing style is extremely unprofessional even by the standards of this site, you A-log like crazy in every sentence, and you go on at [[Honest Content|extreme length]] about subjects that do not deserve more than a few sentences. Just so it doesn't seem like I'm dismissing you out of hand, I'll briefly address your main points:
{{collapsible|A more in-depth response|
::''"Chris is erotically aroused by Cartoons and Anime, and that makes him different from normal folks. ... The key words are that they "see nothing wrong with that", in contrast to normal folks, who don't see cartoon characters in a sexual light."''
:This is '''wild speculation''' and absurd at face value. The vast majority of weebs do not turn into incestuous rapists, and it's ludicrous to insinuate otherwise.
::''"Chris looked at a Sailor Moon poster on his ceiling to "Stay Straight." And he made cartoon porn of his own creations for the sake of masturbating to them. [...] if a 27 year old was to look at the main character of that show and pop a boner, that makes that 27 year old a hebephile or an ephebiphile by definition respectively."''
:Yes, Chris has always had [[Mass debating|bizarre]] [[For J-R's Eyes Only|sexual]] [[Recycling|behaviors]]. This is not a new observation, and does not deserve an essay-sized explanation when a sentence or a paragraph would suffice.
::''"[Stern] makes more money than you or I, and he has friends everywhere. Howard Stern has watched and fapped to more pornography than you could ever imagine. He has interviewed an incredible amount of porn stars and kinky folks on his show. So, when this man says that cartoon masturbators disgust him, and that he considers himself superior to all cartoon masturbators on planet Earth, because is solely normal porn masturbator... Well, I think that says a lot, don't you think?"''
:Not really, no.}}
:If I was assuming the worst, I probably would say you were using this site to vent about your own personal vendetta against weebs. I'm not saying that ''is'' what you're doing - and honestly, I don't really care. I don't really edit here much nowadays anyway. The main reason that I removed your edits is just that what I've seen of your prose is simply not very good. --[[User:4CentUser|4CentUser]] ([[User talk:4CentUser|talk]]) 22:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)

So, I recently reinstated an edit, albeit a much brief one that I hope is more to the liking of the wiki community. It's just a few sentences that boil down to "Chris is an individual that looks at cartoon and anime girls and feels arousal from the images thereof." I really don't intend to A-log at all, in fact I watched myself to make sure I'm not insulting Chris, just stating societal expectations that I perceive. I think anything he does wrong should be noted because although no one will ever a loser like Chris, everyone at least has one thing in common with Chris, and if they nix that thing, they can take step towards being a better person. I see a lot of people expressing romantic feeling to cartoon characters these days, and I don't see them making a positive impact. All see are fat social invalids with messy break up, exposed drama, and a downward sprial that usually ends with a 1000+ forum thread on Kiwi Farms.
Famous cartoon fappers(other than Chris):
Kurt EichenWald (Lolcow journalist who had to lie about his hentai in order to save face)
Schmorky(Former SA cartoonist now Child Molestor and deranged furry)
David Gontermann(OG lolcow)
Digibrony(lolicon enthusiast)
Andrew Dobson(Small time artist with an INFLATED ego)
and much more, just browse ED and Kiwi Farms...

From what I see, maybe the correlation is significant. You don't ever hear of someone like Hayao Miyazaki or Hans Zimmer, John Cena, or Neil DeGrasse Tyson or John Glenn fapping to cartoons. On the subject of Howard Stern's opinion making an impression, you answered "Not, really no." To which I ask in return, "Why not?" Again, he has friends Robin(who is black, and female, and served in the air force), as well as other diverse people agreeing with him. He only watches live action pornography and only that for a reason. It kind of reminds me of Tommy Lee Jones noble but worn out sheriff character from the aptly named, No Country for Old Men, or, like Don McClean's perspective in the classic song American Pie. Old good guys commenting on the depravity of modern society and wondering where people's innocence and morals and honor went. One line from Stern from that radio segment that stuck with me, "those bombs we dropped on Japan, I think we really screwed them up..." I don't consider myself having a personal vendetta against "weebs." (And for the record, enlighten me on how you define "weeb", which I think you mean "weaboo" by which you mean "wapanese" or a "person that likes anime too much.") For the record, I freaking love anime, but a lot of the things I'm having cordial discussion with you about, are coming from a serious discussion I had with an irl friend, and suffice to say, the discussion changed my perspective on a lot of things, and even got me to be extremely introspective. --[[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] 12:35, 14 November 2021 (UTC)

==The Male Social Hierarchy and the Qualifications for Dating==
On December 10, you reverted an edit I made to the sweetheart page. Your reasoning being was "low quality edit, a-loggy". While I can agree that my caption about how "Despite his high expectations for others, Chris is at the bottom of the male totem pole", may have been "a-loggy", though, accurate based on his high standards for others, but low standards for himself, I cannot say the same for the picture, which was I found to be informative and helpful. Please tell me, what is low quality about this picture? https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Male_Social_Hierarchy_2.png The male social hierarchy is a useful guide for men to turn to help themselves gauge what kind of women are within their "league", and also check themselves to see if they are even should be dating rather than fixing themselves and becoming proper. One can usually determine whether or not they are either an alpha, a beta, a gamma, a delta, or an omega based on things like financial income, physical health, schooling, and whether or not the subject laughs at inappropriate things or masturbates to cartoons and anime. It's based on scientific observation in tribal hierarchies, namely with wolves and primates. When it came to the wolves in particular, the "alphas", which mated often, were the ones that seemed to be the most aggressive. Further examination found that these "alphas" were parents. In other words, the aggression served the purpose of defending the young, thus preserving the tribe. The bottom line is that "chicks dig Alpha males". But, contrary to how Adam Conover puts it, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ti86veZBjU , Alpha males are not always aggressive and some not at all. An alpha male, as I have come to understand it, based on the "How Not To Fail At Life Guide" https://sonichu.com/w/images/8/8d/How_not_to_fail_at_life.png is in the end, just a strong person who preserves the tribe through his extremely refined talents. For the alpha positive, that is charisma, strength, intelligence, and abilities, all good qualities. In the case of the alpha negatives, who are generally the kind of people that beta, gamma, and omega negatives call "jerks", are in actuality just misguided, and I don't blame women for going out with them, because unlike the other types, alpha negatives are still strong, handsome, and charismatic despite not being smart, and all they need is the proper "push" from the right person to guide to being an alpha positive. Alphas tend to be leaders due to their strong stature and charisma. Alphas don't even need dating advice, women just come to them. Betas tend to be the more sensitive less confident, but more empathetic "alpha". Contrary to "popular belief", and by "popular belief" I mean kindergarten level /pol/ grade insults from jealous omega male cartoon masturbators hiding behind anime girl avatars, being a Beta is NOT a bad thing at all, neither is being a gamma or a delta for that matter. Betas also tend to be a little more intellectual and introspective than alpha males. Think of the Beta as the Raiden to the alpha male Solid Snake, wet behind the ears, but also fresh healthy and more of a nice guy, well if he's a beta positive. Otherwise, the beta negative is the constantly jealous "nice guy" who doesn't see how good he has it all. The best advice for Beta males is find the right woman, be confident, and just try. Gamma males are the super intellectual and introspective. They are masterful of certain intellectual talents, but they lack the physical attractiveness that Alphas and Betas possess. This is because they neglect their physical health in favor of really excelling in academic pursuits. Gammas are geniuses and tend to be head scientists and philosophers, head engineers, head musicians, and head writers. The gamma tends to be at odds with the alpha, sometimes this is justified because the public (deltas in general) tend to be scientifically illiterate and sometimes the alpha in charge is running things based on an outdated model that the gamma needs to replace. Gamma positives tend to be more humble, and they put aside their ego and focus squarely on their talents and improving the world and finding solutions. Gamma negatives tend to spite the world and feel above other people and develop superiority complexes. The best dating advice for gammas, is to not focus on dating, but rather their beautiful talents. Then maybe, the right woman will come to them, and be interested in who they are. Deltas are your average male, kind like everybody's dad when their dad is at their hokiest. Deltas are simple standard and reliable, but also aimless. They need the guiding hand of either an alpha or a gamma to get them through life. Delta positives are altruistic busybodies that do their job, get paid, and relax after a job well done. Delta negatives tend to be sheepish folk who buy into bogus claims, hoard items, and spend all their money on QVC and infomercials. The best dating advice for Deltas, is beggars aren't choosers. Deltas need to stick to a woman of their stature or just drop out of dating altogether. Omegas are the outsiders. Whereas the other greek alphabet people form together to make a harmonious tribe of leaders, wingmen, thinkers, and workers; the omega is the outcast that would otherwise not survive in a crisis situation. All serious lolcows, and some of the worst people in the world are omegas. Omegas are defined by not having any talents, not contributing to society other than a parasitic sense, and having interest that most would find creepy or uninteresting at best. Omega males tend to live in their parents basement, and masturbate to anime. They lack a social life. Omegas tend not to have jobs, often living off welfare or mommy and daddy's money. Omega positives understand that they failed and lived their lives the wrong way, and they try to correct the course. Omega negatives see nothing wrong with themselves and resent the world for rejecting them. Negatives in particular tend to become rapists, serial killers and spree killers, usually after snapping and having a final mental breakdown. The best dating advice to omegas is to simply not date, because they are essentially like a peacock with no tail feathers. And maybe seek therapy and also go back to school to learn what they need in order to get a better job. Chris is certainly an omega male in every sense of the word, and an omega negative at that, wouldn't you say? --[[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] 6:07, 25 December 2021 (UTC)
:TL:DR? —[[User:4CentUser|4CentUser]] ([[User talk:4CentUser|talk]]) 14:12, 25 December 2021 (UTC)
Yeah, I guess you're right. That was a mouthful on my behalf. But the thing I want to ask is, how is this little info-graph bogus, and how could it be a low-quality shit-post?: https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Male_Social_Hierarchy_2.png To me, it looks like common sense. When it comes to relationships(and to life in general), I think a peacock analogy is one way to put it. People(peacocks) are attracted to people(other peacocks) with a lot of qualities(tail-feathers). People flaunt their qualities in order attract mates. Chris in particular, an omega, is like a peacock flaunting around a bare stub for a tail, thinking he's a full set in delusion. Contrast someone like Vin Diesel, an alpha who is totally a peacock with a full set, and more. Not only is he a super fit actor and action star, but he is also game developer, a film maker, and a practitioner of Brazillian Jiu Jitsu. Sure, a good personality is key, but you show a good personality through the qualities you possess which translate into paternal qualities. Just like with what this guide says: https://sonichu.com/w/images/8/8d/How_not_to_fail_at_life.png --[[User:TippyToesTommyTalarico|TippyToesTommyTalarico]] 13:59, 03 January 2022 (UTC)

User talk:4CentUser

2021-12-25T13:08:01Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: Wanted to discuss the Social Hierarchy

Chris and sex

2021-12-09T23:43:06Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: Unjammer, let's call it even, alright? There are many things in this world, that I can only wonder about. And a lot of things that I am uncertain about. I guess I really don't know if attraction to cartoon characters is a mental illness and one way street to depravity, and perhaps you don't either. But there is one fact that we can both be certain about. Chris Chan finds anime and cartoon characters attractive. Therefore, it is part of his complex sexuality. No description here.

{{Dated}}
{{Honest}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''' and '''romps in the hay'''<ref>Chris has used this phrase since approximately [[2018]], including in [[:File:SchuComic12-9Page29.JPG|Sonichu #12-9]], on his [[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts|polyamorous marriage]] and on his [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-incest-leak-chris-has-been-removed-from-14-branchland-court.96559 incest with his mother].</ref>), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
===The Bible===
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

===Sexism===
[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professing his love]] for "[[BlueSpike|Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In the 2018 [[All Star]] video, Chris is seen tugging his [[duck]] along to the song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of [[Transgender|HRT]]. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.

During his time losing his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm| prostitute]] its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, than demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; [[Obesity| but luckily for her]] he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him [[Navy| finishing]] so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.

Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own [[Barb|mom]], the exact details of the [[Incest| incestuous]] sex is a bit vague but needless to say every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.

==Homosexuality==
{{main|Chris and sexuality}}

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Schediaphilia==
{{main|Luv shack}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007175309/http://archive.sonichu.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
{{Wise|he is a furry.}}

{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry was, for a long time, debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it was confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris was actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], in May 2018, Chris went back on another of his long-held beliefs. Becoming another of the things he used to loathe, Chris dubbed himself a furry.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO]]</ref> The Idea Guys also [[brainwashed]] him into believing he is in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with furry [[imaginary friends]] such as [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel]], and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref>

While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry via his obsession with anthropomorphic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], he has not participated in the furry community itself.

{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that [[Mia Hamm|the girl]] was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210206132219/https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

[[File:ChrisChanSexForMoney.png|thumb|200px]]
On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.}}

A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Consider me a beginner with experience blowing [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my loving boyfriend]], willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.}}

Chris told [[CWCProtectSquad]] member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".<ref>[[:File:TingsTingz concern for the prostitution message.jpg]]</ref>

After the [[Guard Dogs]] rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720</ref> He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{main|Incest}}
{{Dated}}
{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}

[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]]-apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such- Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one-another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana- Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest- as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [https://web.archive.org/web/20051223102404/http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold of a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://archive.md/AL1PT</ref>. During the nonsensical [[Sonichu 13| issue 13]] of Sonichu incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] getting married to [[Magichan]] to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].

{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}

On 13 September 2019, while [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu]]</ref>

'''Actual sex with Barb'''

While it was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the [[Incest]] calls were leaked there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, the main one being the fact Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years and telling to Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each over have indicated incestuous interest in each over for a while, however many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's [[Autism]] making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.

After the incest calls were leaked it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so for ''months'', his "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during and after their romps in the hay.

It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.

==Rape==
Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to ''move in'' with her rapist ([[Chris and religion|which is technically in-line with certain archaic Christian principles]]), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the [[Christorical eras|Classic Era]] to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since [[BlueSpike]]'s [[Julie Reveals Herself|most infamous incident]] involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, he admitted that he drew [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against [[Megan Schroeder]], who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife [[Lovely Weather]] in the guise of being his future self [[Transgender|(whom is definitely a different person in the future)]]. During the [[Kacey Calls]], he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being [[Liquid Chris]], again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]]. Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the [[TooManyGames]] convention regardless of consent, which ultimately got him kicked out.

Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with a car]], and [[26 December 2014|macing a manager in the chest]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), it was encouraged that women should exercise caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Chris and his ego|an attractive enough]] [[Transgender|transwoman]] for [[Jacob Sockness|a man]] to consider raping him.

Questions of whether or not Chris was capable of rape have been discussed previously among observers, but the situation became much more complicated in [[2021]] following Chris's [[incest]] with [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], which has not been proven to be consensual or non-consensual despite circumstantial evidence pointing toward the latter. In light of the information revealed through the [[incest call]] and other outlets from around the same time, it's unclear whether or not Barb agreed to have sex with her son or if he forced himself onto her, and as such, it is not clear if Chris is actually a rapist. Chris noted that Barb appeared to be "partially confused" during certain sexual encounters, which fueled longtime speculation she could have a degenerative mental disease, which would thus make her unable to consent.

For what it's worth, Chris mentioned that Barb made the first move, which would be consistent with certain inappropriate behavior that she got Chris to do earlier in life (such as asking him to spoon with her). As there is little context as to what happened during the incestuous affair, [[List of Chris's lies|as Chris is known for being an unreliable source of information]], and as Barb has not spoken about the subject, it cannot clearly be confirmed to be rape without a proper criminal investigation. Chris has also not been charged with rape despite spending months in jail, awaiting his trial for the incest charge. With Barb being declared mentally competent enough to live on her own in 14 Branchland Court, it is unlikely that rape charges will be pursued, since the legal case for a rape charge is flimsy when operating on the assumption that Barb was cognizant while the affair was taking place. Barb would also most likely want to avoid incriminating herself in the event that she did consent, as she herself could face a prison sentence if she was a willing participant.

==Contraceptives==

{{quote|Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)

And I used condoms when I fooled with the [[Officer Nasty|L.D.s]] as well.|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 1]]}}

Condoms, or as Chris has called them "'''raincoats'''", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with [[Blanca]], he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have non-protected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010 <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Condoms</ref> and January 2013.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref>. Its not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his [[Duck]], he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these [[Chris and negligence| explanations]] [[Duck| are]] [[Health| equally]] [[Slow in the minds| possible]]. For those wondering however, it's probably safe to assume [[Mia Hamm]] won't be harboring [[Crystal]] any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.

Chris would later reveal to [[Null]] that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be [[Barb]]. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were [[Health|(at least where STIs were concerned)]] clean and both were completely infertile.

==See also==
*[[China]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Chris and sexuality]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Incest]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Anime

2021-12-09T21:52:58Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: This is a correction. I saw this anime when I was younger. I remember the the main hero smothering her enemies faces with her crotch til they passed out, but I don't ever recall Kekko Kamen killing her enemies, seeing as the villain Dr. Hell and Principal Toenail of Satan would be reoccurring villains that would get punished each episode. I'm not defending this work either, it's not Go Nagai's best, but I do like to set records straight.

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:054-CWCsAnimeWorldCD.jpg|thumb|Chris has liked anime since at least [[2000]].]]

'''Anime''' (アニメ) is a colloquial term for Japanese animation, a rather popular style that's been subbed/dubbed/emulated for its many hit series worldwide, drawing the attention of many loyal followers; including [[Chris]]. Over the years, Chris has taken quite an interest in the medium. Whether it be for [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] or [[Mass debating|self pleasure]], it's managed to make itself quite a large part of Chris's life. Chris enjoys the [[Chris and art|artform]] to some extent, as well, although it's not his primary obsession. Needless to say, he's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]].]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds that sparked his interest, as it was for millions of other kids in America during the turn of the millennium. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then. (He considered a trip to Baltimore's Otakon convention in 2010, but primarily as a way of meeting [[Jackie]] in person.)<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref> In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''{{w|Crayon Shin-chan}}'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "[[Sonichu 8|very-close-to-nude girls]]" (even bigger shock).

Chris still ripped off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "[[Sonichu Girls|harem]]" comedy-drama ''{{w|Shuffle!}}'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].
[[File:Fistofthesonichu.JPG|thumb|left|Chris summoning his stand,「Let Me Call You [[Sweetheart]]」.]]

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around [[November 2009]], Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and scantily-clad women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprised the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked. The last series might have had a particular impact on Chris, as the face-rape of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in [[Sonichu 8]] is [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|very similar]] to Pubic Hair Jump, a move by which the title character of ''Kekko Kamen'' defeats her enemies.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail.

During Chris's interview on the [[Internet Dream Lounge]], he would recommend the shojo series ''{{w|Nana (manga)|Nana}}'' when asked what anime series he would recommend.

The [[Idea Guys]] used images from ''{{w|Symphogear}}'' and ''{{w|Sword Art Online Alternative Gun Gale Online}}'' as part of their brainwashing of Chris.

In 2020, Chris made the somewhat dubious claim that watching {{w|''Cells at Work!''}} would strengthen one's immune system against [[coronavirus]].<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts]]</ref> He also posted about {{w|BNA: Brand New Animal|''BNA: Brand New Animal''}}.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
[[File:Anime.png|thumb|SO KAWAII! UGUU~]]
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], which he completed in the spring of [[2006]]. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "set-theoretic intersection" (∩) eyes. He also made use of creative elements that work in anime but not in a sequential comic, as well as tedious and unnecessary clichés common to anime.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
{{main|Things Chris has ripped off#Anime}}
[[File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 27, Revision 1.jpg|thumb|left|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] An example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork.]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''{{w|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo}}'': The ''[[My Little Pony]]'' greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''. Chris's [[Colossal Chan]] transformation from Sonichu #10 is also based on the Super Saiyan 4 transformation featured in the ''{{w|Dragon Ball GT}}'' series.
* ''{{w|New Cutey Honey|Cutey Honey}}'': Chris quotes, almost word for word, Cutey Honey transformation speech in [[Sonichu 5]]. It should be clear why he even knows about [[Chris and sex|Cutey Honey]].
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''{{w|Fullmetal Alchemist}}'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''{{w|Inuyasha}}'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''{{w|Serial Experiments Lain}}'': Lainchu, a character that Chris created for the [[Watchmen]], was named after the main character, Lain Iwakura.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'': Chris has made many fanmade ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards depicting himself and his creations. In [[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]], Chris would depict [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]'s husband-to-be, William Spicer, as a character from the cards.
* ''{{w|YuYu Hakusho}}'': Chris's Zap Cannon attack in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] bears an uncanny resemblance to the protagonist's Reigan attack.

==''The End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''{{w|The End of Evangelion}}'' as inspiration for finishing [[Sonichu 9]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...a lot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref><ref name="Ivy">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of [[Tomgirl Pictures|a boy's struggle for acceptance]]… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), [[Honor roll|but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized]].

Chris's favorite parts:
* The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
* The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
* The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
* Asuka freaking out.
* Everyone turns to [[Fanta|orange tang juice]].
* Rei Angels [[Un-clit 2.0|getting turned on by stabbing themselves]].
* Rei melting everywhere.
* The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even [[Stress|remotely depressing]].

Chris was familiar with ''Evangelion'' prior to watching the movie at Ivy's behest, "but not really a heavy watcher".<ref name="Ivy"/> Despite this, Chris owns a [http://myfigurecollection.net/item/83641 soap dish in the shape of the character Rei Ayanami], as [[:File:AMA3.jpg|pictured in his hotel at Anime-Mid Atlantic]] in 2005. It's likely that Chris saw this item at the convention, didn't even register the figure as an ''Evangelion'' character, and bought it because he thought a soap dish with a "hot anime chick" on it would make for a [[Mass debating|fun novelty item]].

After the [[incest]] situation became public, Christorians began using the song "Komm, süsser Tod" as a theme song for the end of Christory.

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]
*[[Japanophilia]]
*''[[Shojo Beat]]''

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = My Name is Christine Weston Chandler (Kira)
| ytid = EtNMUXDDO3M
| stardate =15 [[November 2019]]
| maker = Greystar2426
| subject = Anime
| type = Animation
| info =Parody of a [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-name-is-yoshikage-kira famous monologue] from ''JoJo's Bizarre Adventure''
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name =Chris Chan : The Anime Series : OP #1 Kimetsu no Yaiba / 鬼滅之刃 - Gurenge / 紅蓮華 (LiSA) (Cristina Vee)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kz2hr4uilzI}}
| stardate = 3 [[October 2021]]
| maker = sheWIND
| subject = Anime
| type = Animation
| info = "If [[Wikipedia:Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba|''Demon Slayer'']] starred Chris Chan instead of Tanjiro Kamado, this would be the opening for the show! This focuses on the Classic Era of Christian Weston Chandler, Creator of Sonichu and Mayor of Cwcville, before transitioning to Christine Weston Chandler. Some characters and events that are include are Manchester High School, Charlottesville Fashion Square, Piedmont Virgina Community College (PVCC), Rosechu, Angelo of Morioh, Godbear (Leonard Bearstein), Jerkops, Bob Chandler, Angelo Casper (who used to live under his house), Isabella Janke, Linkara, Barbara Chandler, Bubbles Rosechu, Punchy Sonichu, Angelica Rosechu, Crystal Weston Chandler (Chris Chan's Twin Sister), Pickle Dio, Liquid Chris, Clyde Cash, Surfside Tito, the man in the Pickle Suit, Jason Kendrick Howell, Adam Steakhouse, Jack Thaddeus, Mary Lee Walsh, Cakefarts, Patti the Dog, BlueSpike, Colossal Chan, the Sonichu Ball Crystals, CADD Chef, and even Sonic the Hedgehog himself! " }}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

User talk:UmJammer Lammy

2021-12-07T20:24:41Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: Wanted to continue the conversation

User talk:UmJammer Lammy

2021-12-01T00:31:05Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico:

User talk:UmJammer Lammy

2021-11-26T02:13:33Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico:

User talk:UmJammer Lammy

2021-11-26T01:51:33Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: Created page with "==Revision of My Edit== We'll talk more on some other congruent subjects, but for now, this is solely about my edit, and the need to do it right. On November 18 2021, you und..."

Dating education

2021-11-24T20:49:58Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: Undo revision 272880 by TippyToesTommyTalarico (talk)

{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|Chris|[[Mumble 4]]}}

[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]

'''Dating Education''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date. As with "Sex Ed," Chris abbreviates dating education to "'''Date Ed'''," and frequently makes use of the ([[Random-access humor|alleged]]) joke that the idea of "Date Ed" sounds "Dated." The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and mental healthcare|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.

Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating education comic]] and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience as it is a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about [[Chris and...|Chris and his mindset]].

__TOC__

==In Real Life==
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|Chris's Wikipedia page.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]</ref>}}

Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''[[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]]'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and the biology of the reproductive system. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on sexually transmitted diseases and contraception. Chris even suggested that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|violated in vivid Crayola color]]:

{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|Chris, talking to [[Megan Schroeder]].<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.

Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have "Coping Skills" instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:

*Special Education
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]
*Psychology and Psychiatry
*[[GodJesus|God]] AND the [[Bear]]

...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three [[inventions]]<ref>[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]</ref> – right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a [[Lego]] contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.

==Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future==
Chris's most fully-realized rationale for his pedagogical plan can be found in an essay he wrote on 11 May 2009 and later posted on the [[CWCipedia]]. Entitled "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future. The Solution: Dating Education," it was "originally written for a recent 2009 Community Support Contest sponsored by C-Ville's Battlefield Ford." Chris added, "too bad I did not win, but I'm not giving up on teaching our future generations the basics of Dating alongside Sexual Educaiton." The fact that Chris believes that his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea that all high schools in the [[United States]], possibly the whole world, should teach their students how to talk to one another (something most [[Autism|shy]] people can fix with a [[Rocky Shoemaker|counsellor]] or a [[Chris and psychology|psychologist]]), and should be graded on how they talk to [[Kimmi|dolls]], how well they study [[How to Talk to Girls|a book written by a nine-year old]] and how well they score on an extremely awkward paper test, as well as the fact that these schools should go directly against American anti-discrimination laws and not let [[homos]] into a required subject, with Chris saying that "it will stop people from becoming gay, [[Tomgirl Saga|since gay people usually turn when]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|they're lonely and in their 20's]]" speaks volumes on how Chris views dating, education and homosexuality. Here is the complete essay in all its glory:
{{quoteboxred|
I am one of a minority of people in the worldwide population; I am a Shy, Straight Caucasian Male who still struggles as an Adult Virgin. And I have dreams of sharing a family life with my Female Sweetheart, and to have and share between me and her our daughter named, Crystal Weston Chandler.

My shyness has belabored my dream from seeing birth. But mine is a mutual dream shared with every shy male in the world. Mine and their dreams could have been made individual realities sooner with a simple, great idea, '''DATING EDUCATION CLASSES'''.

We currently enforce, and have made required, Sexual Education classes in High Schools most everywhere. That is good for AFTER Date #3 or so, but the question remains, ''“How do we find, attract and talk to a single member of our individually respective Opposite Gender to even have a First Date Ever With?”''

I would like to see Dating Education Classes required along with, before or shortly after, Sexual Education. I envision the teacher starting with the social basics, such as the simple greeting of “Hey, there. It’s a good day.” :) Even quoting the Alec Grevin and his little red book, ''“How to Talk to Girls”''. Also, later in the semester, teaching empathetic social skills that can benefit both of the straight partners in each couple. I also envision classroom distribution/loaning of female Barbie Dolls for MEN to practice socializing on, and 8” GI-Joe Figures for WOMEN to practice socializing on as well. The Classmates could also be paired up, Male-for-Female/Female-for-Male, in Class Workshop(s). If there were any unpaired people of one gender in the class, volunteers of the opposite gender from within the school’s student roster can be brought in for them. There would be '''NO SAME-GENDER PAIRINGS, PERIOD'''.

It is a fact that individuals who were unable to find their opposite-gender Sweetheart or crushes and get lucky before adulthood are likely tempted to turn homo… A dismal future NO God-Loving Individual, including myself; I swear on my Holy Bible as I type this essay with every keystroke I make with my keyboard resting on my Bible, would ever want to see occur. :( The Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.

If my essay is selected, I would give the money to our local High Schools to begin the Long-Necessary and Required Dating Education Class Trend within these United States, and then Worldwide, for a Better, Bright Future for All.

Thank You.}}

==In ''Sonichu''==
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''

Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. However, any such notions will be destroyed in short order should you peruse ''Sonichu 9'', specifically the episode containing DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed and a heaping helping of complete lunacy. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:

*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate - in this class.
*The class was split perfectly: 50% male, 50% female.
*On the off chance that there were a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself wouldn't be paired up with anybody, because it would conflict with both regulations AND her current relationship. This puts a bullet in any remaining pretence of this class being simply to work on social skills.
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. Their names are [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]].
*Everybody hooks up with a date, except for "[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]]", who only got a 65% in the class.
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third date|DATE 03]].

==DAT 303==
===Course Syllabus===
'''Rationale''':
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|Chris, who would later identify as a [[bisexual]] [[Transgender|transwoman]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]</ref>}}

'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven

'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara [[Officer Nasty|Dolls]]; iDate Software

'''Core concepts''':
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]
*Being [[Friend zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan Schroeder|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]

'''Methodology:'''
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the Internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person.
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with their dolls.

===Final Exam===
Take the test [https://forms.gle/3b5M8hgwr7ohTi61A here]
{{collapsible|Final Exam|
Name_________________ Date__________

 1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys
 A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13

 2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?
 A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above

 3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?
 A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation

 4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, [[Honest Content|honest]], and [[Honor roll|smart]].
 A. True B. False

 5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.
 A. True B. False

 6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...
 A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above

 7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?
 A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else

 8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.
 A. True B. False

 9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...
 A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above

 10 Essay Question.
 From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>FOR ALL Sonichu & Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**

YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.
}}

===Answer Key===
{{collapsible|Answer Key|
<center>Multiple Choice</center>
# C
# D
# C
# A
# B
# B
# A
# B
# D
<center>Free Response</center>

**This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay. 
**Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! =D

1. Aprroach the boy 
- "Hi, what's up!"

2. Get the name 
- "I'm Alex, what are you called?"

3. Find out more, get his interest 
- "So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?"

4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested 
- "I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor."

5. Give interest/compliments back 
- "I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?"

6. Get more intimate details 
- "So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?"

7. Food is a conversation foundation 
- "Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke)."

8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets
shy or stumped.

9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store
is always a good choice.

10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start. 
- "It"s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime."

**Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009. 
**CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice questions.
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

==See Also==
*[[Dating|Dating]]
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Dating education

2021-11-24T20:48:59Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico:

{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|Chris|[[Mumble 4]]}}

[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]

'''Dating Education''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date. As with "Sex Ed," Chris abbreviates dating education to "'''Date Ed'''," and frequently makes use of the ([[Random-access humor|alleged]]) joke that the idea of "Date Ed" sounds "Dated." The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and mental healthcare|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.

Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating education comic]] and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience as it is a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about [[Chris and...|Chris and his mindset]].

__TOC__

==In Real Life==

[[File:How_not_to_fail_at_life.png|thumb|right|300px|An actual proper guide to dating, showcasing the fundamental steps to not being a social invalid. Such steps that could have saved Chris had Chris been aware of such things early in life. But hey! Maybe it can help you.]]

{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|Chris's Wikipedia page.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]</ref>}}

Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''[[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]]'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and the biology of the reproductive system. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on sexually transmitted diseases and contraception. Chris even suggested that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|violated in vivid Crayola color]]:

{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|Chris, talking to [[Megan Schroeder]].<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.

Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have "Coping Skills" instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:

*Special Education
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]
*Psychology and Psychiatry
*[[GodJesus|God]] AND the [[Bear]]

...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three [[inventions]]<ref>[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]</ref> – right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a [[Lego]] contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.

==Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future==
Chris's most fully-realized rationale for his pedagogical plan can be found in an essay he wrote on 11 May 2009 and later posted on the [[CWCipedia]]. Entitled "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future. The Solution: Dating Education," it was "originally written for a recent 2009 Community Support Contest sponsored by C-Ville's Battlefield Ford." Chris added, "too bad I did not win, but I'm not giving up on teaching our future generations the basics of Dating alongside Sexual Educaiton." The fact that Chris believes that his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea that all high schools in the [[United States]], possibly the whole world, should teach their students how to talk to one another (something most [[Autism|shy]] people can fix with a [[Rocky Shoemaker|counsellor]] or a [[Chris and psychology|psychologist]]), and should be graded on how they talk to [[Kimmi|dolls]], how well they study [[How to Talk to Girls|a book written by a nine-year old]] and how well they score on an extremely awkward paper test, as well as the fact that these schools should go directly against American anti-discrimination laws and not let [[homos]] into a required subject, with Chris saying that "it will stop people from becoming gay, [[Tomgirl Saga|since gay people usually turn when]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|they're lonely and in their 20's]]" speaks volumes on how Chris views dating, education and homosexuality. Here is the complete essay in all its glory:
{{quoteboxred|
I am one of a minority of people in the worldwide population; I am a Shy, Straight Caucasian Male who still struggles as an Adult Virgin. And I have dreams of sharing a family life with my Female Sweetheart, and to have and share between me and her our daughter named, Crystal Weston Chandler.

My shyness has belabored my dream from seeing birth. But mine is a mutual dream shared with every shy male in the world. Mine and their dreams could have been made individual realities sooner with a simple, great idea, '''DATING EDUCATION CLASSES'''.

We currently enforce, and have made required, Sexual Education classes in High Schools most everywhere. That is good for AFTER Date #3 or so, but the question remains, ''“How do we find, attract and talk to a single member of our individually respective Opposite Gender to even have a First Date Ever With?”''

I would like to see Dating Education Classes required along with, before or shortly after, Sexual Education. I envision the teacher starting with the social basics, such as the simple greeting of “Hey, there. It’s a good day.” :) Even quoting the Alec Grevin and his little red book, ''“How to Talk to Girls”''. Also, later in the semester, teaching empathetic social skills that can benefit both of the straight partners in each couple. I also envision classroom distribution/loaning of female Barbie Dolls for MEN to practice socializing on, and 8” GI-Joe Figures for WOMEN to practice socializing on as well. The Classmates could also be paired up, Male-for-Female/Female-for-Male, in Class Workshop(s). If there were any unpaired people of one gender in the class, volunteers of the opposite gender from within the school’s student roster can be brought in for them. There would be '''NO SAME-GENDER PAIRINGS, PERIOD'''.

It is a fact that individuals who were unable to find their opposite-gender Sweetheart or crushes and get lucky before adulthood are likely tempted to turn homo… A dismal future NO God-Loving Individual, including myself; I swear on my Holy Bible as I type this essay with every keystroke I make with my keyboard resting on my Bible, would ever want to see occur. :( The Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.

If my essay is selected, I would give the money to our local High Schools to begin the Long-Necessary and Required Dating Education Class Trend within these United States, and then Worldwide, for a Better, Bright Future for All.

Thank You.}}

==In ''Sonichu''==
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''

Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. However, any such notions will be destroyed in short order should you peruse ''Sonichu 9'', specifically the episode containing DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed and a heaping helping of complete lunacy. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:

*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate - in this class.
*The class was split perfectly: 50% male, 50% female.
*On the off chance that there were a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself wouldn't be paired up with anybody, because it would conflict with both regulations AND her current relationship. This puts a bullet in any remaining pretence of this class being simply to work on social skills.
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. Their names are [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]].
*Everybody hooks up with a date, except for "[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]]", who only got a 65% in the class.
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third date|DATE 03]].

==DAT 303==
===Course Syllabus===
'''Rationale''':
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|Chris, who would later identify as a [[bisexual]] [[Transgender|transwoman]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]</ref>}}

'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven

'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara [[Officer Nasty|Dolls]]; iDate Software

'''Core concepts''':
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]
*Being [[Friend zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan Schroeder|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]

'''Methodology:'''
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the Internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person.
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with their dolls.

===Final Exam===
Take the test [https://forms.gle/3b5M8hgwr7ohTi61A here]
{{collapsible|Final Exam|
Name_________________ Date__________

 1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys
 A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13

 2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?
 A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above

 3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?
 A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation

 4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, [[Honest Content|honest]], and [[Honor roll|smart]].
 A. True B. False

 5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.
 A. True B. False

 6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...
 A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above

 7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?
 A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With [[Hanky panky|Hankey]] in Mind D. Send Someone Else

 8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.
 A. True B. False

 9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...
 A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above

 10 Essay Question.
 From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>FOR ALL Sonichu & Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**

YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.
}}

===Answer Key===
{{collapsible|Answer Key|
<center>Multiple Choice</center>
# C
# D
# C
# A
# B
# B
# A
# B
# D
<center>Free Response</center>

**This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay. 
**Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! =D

1. Aprroach the boy 
- "Hi, what's up!"

2. Get the name 
- "I'm Alex, what are you called?"

3. Find out more, get his interest 
- "So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?"

4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested 
- "I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor."

5. Give interest/compliments back 
- "I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?"

6. Get more intimate details 
- "So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?"

7. Food is a conversation foundation 
- "Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke)."

8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art,
music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets
shy or stumped.

9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store
is always a good choice.

10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start. 
- "It"s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime."

**Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009. 
**CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice questions.
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

==See Also==
*[[Dating|Dating]]
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]
[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Chris and sex

2021-11-24T20:01:39Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: I have nixed all mention of internet channer terminology hope this counts as "well written."

{{Dated}}
{{Honest}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''' and '''romps in the hay'''<ref>Chris has used this phrase since approximately [[2018]], including in [[:File:SchuComic12-9Page29.JPG|Sonichu #12-9]], on his [[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts|polyamorous marriage]] and on his [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-incest-leak-chris-has-been-removed-from-14-branchland-court.96559 incest with his mother].</ref>), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
===The Bible===
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

===Sexism===
[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professing his love]] for "[[BlueSpike|Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In the 2018 [[All Star]] video, Chris is seen tugging his [[duck]] along to the song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of [[Transgender|HRT]]. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.

During his time losing his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm| prostitute]] its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, than demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; [[Obesity| but luckily for her]] he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him [[Navy| finishing]] so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.

Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own [[Barb|mom]], the exact details of the [[Incest| incestuous]] sex is a bit vague but needless to say every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.

==Homosexuality==
{{main|Chris and sexuality}}

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Schediaphilia==

The internet, being a space where anybody can post anything, and being a space where one can post it anonymously, is flooded with overwhelming images of cartoon and anime pornography, and Chris, being an impressionable fan of cartoons and some anime, had certainly come into contact with some of it. Chris's attraction to drawings can be traced to 4chan's first discovery of him all the way back in November 2007, when [[Evan|Evan]] sent him homoerotic [[Masturbating_and_squirtin'|troll art]]. During his [[List_of_Chris's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|first edit war with ED]], Chris uploaded pornographic art of his own characters that he drew himself. Chris has often in the past shown arousal towards cartoon and anime women. To dispel accusations of homosexuality from trolls back in 2007, he would claim to look up at a [[Sailor_Moon_Poster_of_Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] on the ceiling in order to "stay straight". On his [[Adult_Swim_posts#Chris_on_Crayon_Shin-chan_and_The_Super_Milk_Chan_Show_.28August_2006.29|Adult Swim message posts]], he demanded to see more anime with scantly clad women. He has expressed attraction to the [[Family_Guy|Family Guy]] character Meg Griffin. One of his sex dolls, [[Kimmi|Kimmi]], is made in the image of a naked nubile Anime girl. He downloaded and saved a sexual doujinshi picture of [[Sonic_the_Hedgehog#Amy_Rose|Amy Rose]] in order to use in his comics, and would later trace that image to use for his [[Sonichu_and_Rosechu's_Luv_Shack|Luv Shack]] images, which were pornographic drawings of his own creations, some of which, were the samedrawings he submitted willingly to Encyclopedia Dramatica in protest.

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007175309/http://archive.sonichu.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
{{Wise|he is a furry.}}

{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry was, for a long time, debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it was confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris was actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], in May 2018, Chris went back on another of his long-held beliefs. Becoming another of the things he used to loathe, Chris dubbed himself a furry.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO]]</ref> The Idea Guys also [[brainwashed]] him into believing he is in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with furry [[imaginary friends]] such as [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel]], and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref>

While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry via his obsession with anthropomorphic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], he has not participated in the furry community itself.

{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that [[Mia Hamm|the girl]] was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210206132219/https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

[[File:ChrisChanSexForMoney.png|thumb|200px]]
On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.}}

A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Consider me a beginner with experience blowing [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my loving boyfriend]], willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.}}

Chris told [[CWCProtectSquad]] member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".<ref>[[:File:TingsTingz concern for the prostitution message.jpg]]</ref>

After the [[Guard Dogs]] rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720</ref> He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{main|Incest}}
{{Dated}}
{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}

[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]]-apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such- Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one-another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana- Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest- as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [https://web.archive.org/web/20051223102404/http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold of a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://archive.md/AL1PT</ref>. During the nonsensical [[Sonichu 13| issue 13]] of Sonichu incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] getting married to [[Magichan]] to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].

{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}

On 13 September 2019, while [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu]]</ref>

'''Actual sex with Barb'''

While it was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the [[Incest]] calls were leaked there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, the main one being the fact Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years and telling to Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each over have indicated incestuous interest in each over for a while, however many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's [[Autism]] making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.

After the incest calls were leaked it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so for ''months'', his "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during and after their romps in the hay.

It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.

==Rape==
Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to ''move in'' with her rapist ([[Chris and religion|which is technically in-line with certain archaic Christian principles]]), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the [[Christorical eras|Classic Era]] to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since [[BlueSpike]]'s [[Julie Reveals Herself|most infamous incident]] involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, he admitted that he drew [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against [[Megan Schroeder]], who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife [[Lovely Weather]] in the guise of being his future self [[Transgender|(whom is definitely a different person in the future)]]. During the [[Kacey Calls]], he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being [[Liquid Chris]], again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]]. Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the [[TooManyGames]] convention regardless of consent, which ultimately got him kicked out.

Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with a car]], and [[26 December 2014|macing a manager in the chest]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), it was encouraged that women should exercise caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Chris and his ego|an attractive enough]] [[Transgender|transwoman]] for [[Chris and reality|a man to consider raping him]].

Questions of whether or not Chris was capable of rape have been discussed previously among observers, but the situation became much more complicated in [[2021]] following Chris's [[incest]] with [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], which has not been proven to be consensual or non-consensual. In light of the information revealed through the [[incest call]] and other outlets from around the same time, it's unclear whether or not Barb agreed to have sex with her son or if he forced himself onto her, and as such, it is not clear if Chris is actually a rapist. Chris noted that Barb appeared to be "partially confused" during certain sexual encounters, which fueled longtime speculation she could have a degenerative mental disease, which would thus make her unable to consent. For what it's worth, Chris mentioned that Barb made the first move, which would be consistent with certain inappropriate behavior that she got Chris to do earlier in life (such as asking him to spoon with her).

As there is little context as to what happened during the incestuous affair, [[List of Chris's lies|as Chris is known for being an unreliable source of information]], and as Barb has not spoken about the subject, it cannot clearly be confirmed to be rape without a proper criminal investigation. Chris has also not been charged with rape despite spending months in jail, awaiting his trial. With Barb being declared mentally competent enough to live on her own in 14 Branchland Court, it is highly unlikely that rape charges will be pursued, since the legal case for a rape charge is flimsy at best without any further evidence. It can therefore be assumed that Chris's incest with his mother was a consensual matter, at least in the eyes of the law.

==Contraceptives==

{{quote|Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)

And I used condoms when I fooled with the [[Officer Nasty|L.D.s]] as well.|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 1]]}}

Condoms, or as Chris has called them "'''raincoats'''", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with [[Blanca]], he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have non-protected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010 <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Condoms</ref> and January 2013.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref>. Its not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his [[Duck]], he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these [[Chris and negligence| explanations]] [[Duck| are]] [[Health| equally]] [[Slow in the minds| possible]]. For those wondering however, it's probably safe to assume [[Mia Hamm]] won't be harboring [[Crystal]] any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.

Chris would later reveal to [[Null]] that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be [[Barb]]. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were [[Health|(at least where STIs were concerned)]] clean and both were completely infertile.

==See also==
*[[China]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Chris and sexuality]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Incest]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

User talk:4CentUser

2021-11-14T19:37:08Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico:

User talk:4CentUser

2021-11-14T19:36:09Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico:

Chris and sex

2021-11-12T19:04:15Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: Reinstated a variant of a previous edit. I hope this one is to everyone's liking.

{{Dated}}
{{Honest}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''' and '''romps in the hay'''<ref>Chris has used this phrase since approximately [[2018]], including in [[:File:SchuComic12-9Page29.JPG|Sonichu #12-9]], on his [[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts|polyamorous marriage]] and on his [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-incest-leak-chris-has-been-removed-from-14-branchland-court.96559 incest with his mother].</ref>), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
===The Bible===
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

===Sexism===
[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professing his love]] for "[[BlueSpike|Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In the 2018 [[All Star]] video, Chris is seen tugging his [[duck]] along to the song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of [[Transgender|HRT]]. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.

During his time losing his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm| prostitute]] its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, than demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; [[Obesity| but luckily for her]] he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him [[Navy| finishing]] so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.

Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own [[Barb|mom]], the exact details of the [[Incest| incestuous]] sex is a bit vague but needless to say every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.

==Homosexuality==
{{main|Chris and sexuality}}

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007175309/http://archive.sonichu.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

==Cartoon and Anime Porn==
Rule 34 is an unofficial, memetic rule on the internet that states: "If it exists, there's porn of it". The internet is flooded with cartoon and anime porn and Chris has certainly come into contact with a lot of it. Chris has often in the past shown arousal towards cartoon and anime women. During the Megan Saga, he would claim to look up at a Sailor Moon poster on the ceiling in order to "stay straight". On his Adult Swim message posts, he demanded to see more anime with scantly clad women. He has expressed attraction to the Family Guy character Meg Griffin. One of his sex dolls, Kimmi, is made in the image of a naked nubile Anime girl. He downloaded and saved a sexualized doujin picture of Amy Rose in order to use in his comics, and would later trace that image to use for his "Luv Shack" images.
===Is Chris a furry?===
{{Wise|he is a furry.}}

{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry was, for a long time, debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it was confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris was actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], in May 2018, Chris went back on another of his long-held beliefs. Becoming another of the things he used to loathe, Chris dubbed himself a furry.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO]]</ref> The Idea Guys also [[brainwashed]] him into believing he is in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with furry [[imaginary friends]] such as [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel]], and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref>

While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry via his obsession with anthropomorphic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], he has not participated in the furry community itself.

{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that [[Mia Hamm|the girl]] was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210206132219/https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

[[File:ChrisChanSexForMoney.png|thumb|200px]]
On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.}}

A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Consider me a beginner with experience blowing [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my loving boyfriend]], willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.}}

Chris told [[CWCProtectSquad]] member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".<ref>[[:File:TingsTingz concern for the prostitution message.jpg]]</ref>

After the [[Guard Dogs]] rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720</ref> He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{main|Incest}}
{{Dated}}
{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}

[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]]-apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such- Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one-another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana- Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest- as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [https://web.archive.org/web/20051223102404/http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold of a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://archive.md/AL1PT</ref>. During the nonsensical [[Sonichu 13| issue 13]] of Sonichu incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] getting married to [[Magichan]] to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].

{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}

On 13 September 2019, while [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu]]</ref>

'''Actual sex with Barb'''

While it was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the [[Incest]] calls were leaked there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, the main one being the fact Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years and telling to Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each over have indicated incestuous interest in each over for a while, however many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's [[Autism]] making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.

After the incest calls were leaked it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so for ''months'', his "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during and after their romps in the hay.

It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.

==Rape==
Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to ''move in'' with her rapist ([[Chris and religion|which is technically in-line with certain archaic Christian principles]]), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the [[Christorical eras|Classic Era]] to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since [[BlueSpike]]'s [[Julie Reveals Herself|most infamous incident]] involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, he admitted that he drew [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against [[Megan Schroeder]], who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife [[Lovely Weather]] in the guise of being his future self [[Transgender|(whom is definitely a different person in the future)]]. During the [[Kacey Calls]], he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being [[Liquid Chris]], again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]]. Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the [[TooManyGames]] convention regardless of consent, which ultimately got him kicked out.

Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with a car]], and [[26 December 2014|macing a manager in the chest]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), it was encouraged that women should exercise caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Chris and his ego|an attractive enough]] [[Transgender|transwoman]] for [[Chris and reality|a man to consider raping him]].

==Contraceptives==

{{quote|Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)

And I used condoms when I fooled with the [[Officer Nasty|L.D.s]] as well.|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 1]]}}

Condoms, or as Chris has called them "'''raincoats'''", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with [[Blanca]], he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have non-protected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010 <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Condoms</ref> and January 2013.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref>. Its not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his [[Duck]], he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these [[Chris and negligence| explanations]] [[Duck| are]] [[Health| equally]] [[Slow in the minds| possible]]. For those wondering however, it's probably safe to assume [[Mia Hamm]] won't be harboring [[Crystal]] any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.

Chris would later reveal to [[Null]] that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be [[Barb]]. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were [[Health|(at least where STIs were concerned)]] clean and both were completely infertile.

==See also==
*[[China]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Chris and sexuality]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Incest]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Sweetheart

2021-11-06T09:54:52Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: I added the Male Social Hierarchy list of male classifications.

User talk:4CentUser

2021-11-04T19:50:28Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: whoops forget my signature.

User talk:4CentUser

2021-11-04T19:48:45Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: A word on the reversion of the edits I made.

Talk:Main Page

2021-10-21T21:22:15Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: /* Potential New Direction for the Wiki. "Life Advice", "Parental Guides", "How to be Normie and Not Chris", "Psychoanalysis Theories by Accredited Psychiatrists, Psychotherapists, and Therapists" */ new section

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates. For other questions, please use [https://kiwifarms.net/forums/christian-weston-chandler.18/ Kiwi Farms].}}

For older conversations, see the '''archives''':

* [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|Archive 1]] (2009)

* [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 2|Archive 2]] (2009 - 2010)

* [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 3|Archive 3]] (2010 - 2020)
== "The encyclopedia about" line ==

Currently it reads "The encyclopedia about Christian Weston Chandler." Should we change that to read "Chris Chan" or "Christine Weston Chandler" instead? Christian hasn't been his name for years. [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 03:27, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:My personal preference is the latter (Christine). Alternatively: "The encyclopedia about the [[Chris|author]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''". --[[User:Little Owl|Little Owl]] ([[User talk:Little Owl|talk]]) 04:37, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
::I say, focus on "Chris-Chan". Officially CWCki policy is to stick with [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|Chris's TRUE and ORIGINAL gender]], so "Christine" isn't typically used in spite of the name-change legally happening. Plus, Chris-Chan is the name that garnered the most attention anyways. [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] ([[User talk:KingClark|talk]]) 10:18, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:"Chris Chan" would be convenient since the [[:File:CWCiki Introduction.jpg]] uses Christian, and "Chris Chan" has been a nickname for both "Christian" and "Christine". Otherwise we would need a new CWCki Intro image with "Christine" to avoid confusion. [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 12:58, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
::Something like this? — "The encyclopedia about [[Chris-Chan]], the author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''". --[[User:Little Owl|Little Owl]] ([[User talk:Little Owl|talk]]) 20:37, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:::Okay with me. [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 07:56, 25 April 2021 (UTC)
::Chris has been fine with being referred to as Chris post-namechange to Christine, so I think if we were to change it, Chris-Chan/Chris Chan would be the best way to do it. Most people refer to him as Chris as opposed to Christian or Christine anyway. --[[User:Abaddon|Abaddon]] ([[User talk:Abaddon|talk]]) 01:23, 24 April 2021 (UTC)
:Someone on the CWCki Discord suggested linking to [[Chris Chan]] as a way to link to his different names. Thoughts? Also, should it be written with or without the hyphen? [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 07:56, 25 April 2021 (UTC)
::I agree with Hurtful here, chris chan is a much more well known name and is normally the first thing we think of when we talk about chris. But i also think we should add a 'creator of sonichu' to the tagline too, similar to what little owl thought of. [[User:Mon1ka|Mon1ka]] ([[User talk:Mon1ka|talk]]) 4:01am, 26th of april 2021 (utc)
While we're at it, should we change the disclaimer at the bottom? It seems like a set-up for a punchline about Chris's inability to understand what does and does not qualify as "parody", since the subject of the wiki is a real person. [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] ([[User talk:KingClark|talk]]) 06:25, 28 April 2021 (UTC)
:The editor who added the parody line explained his reasoning [http://cwcki.club/index.php?threads/the-cwcki.1979/#post-55098 in a CWCki Club post]. I think he has a point. Much of the narrative about Chris is framed by trolls who manipulated him. Chris Chan the Internet personality is basically a parody of Chris Chandler the person. Also many CWCki pages, especially earlier ones, tend to be heavy on the mockery. What would you have in mind to change the dislaimer to? [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 07:57, 28 April 2021 (UTC)

== Contingency ==

So as you may know Kiwifarms may be in some hot water. If they go the way of 8Chan in August 2019 what's the plan to keep the Cwcki from going down forever, because IIRC this is hosted by a service set up by Null that would go down if KF is deplatoformed. The KF drama is affecting the Cwcki right now in fact, I've been getting intermittent time out errors as of late. [[User:Homsar|Homsar]] ([[User talk:Homsar|talk]]) 03:44, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
:Wait a minute, what's going on with Kiwi Farms? I don't really pay attention to it, but I'm gonna assume that this has something to do with Null saying that he would shut down the site if Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act wasn't renewed. [[User:Superspongebobbros|Superspongebobbros]] ([[User talk:Superspongebobbros|talk]]) 17:59, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
::It's under a DDOS attack. Marvin/[[User:Canine]] would be the one to ask about contingencies, he's the owner. [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] ([[User talk:Hurtful Truth Level|talk]]) 18:16, 30 June 2021 (UTC)

== Future of coping and begging counters ==

In light of the incest shit and Chris' eviction, do you think we still need the begging and coping counters? [[User:FokkerTISM|FokkerTISM]] ([[User talk:FokkerTISM|talk]]) 05:20, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
:I think that they should probably be taken down at some point and the page should be reorganized, but not until Chris has been detained. We are approaching the end of Christory as it once was, but we're still not there just yet. [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] ([[User talk:KingClark|talk]]) 11:07, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
::I've gone ahead and removed them now he's actually in custody. [[User:FokkerTISM|FokkerTISM]] ([[User talk:FokkerTISM|talk]]) 03:00, 2 August 2021 (UTC)

== Reorganization ==

After taking down the counters, the page looks weirdly asymmetrical. Could we compensate for this by making each batch of DYK entries longer, or move the CWCki news section to the other side while letting Da Update be longer instead? [[User:KingClark|KingClark]] ([[User talk:KingClark|talk]]) 08:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
:I think we should make the DYK batches longer, as making Da Update longer would defeat the purpose of it being a way to see all '''recent''' happenings related to CWC. Also, since I might as well bring it up here, should we add some type of counter related to Chris being arrested? Or would that be too redundant? [[User:Lez|Lez]] ([[User talk:Lez|talk]]) 11:23, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
::Might be worth putting up a new counter for how many days Chris has been in jail, considering he's being held without bond and he got a continence until at least November. --[[User:Holdek|Holdek]] ([[User talk:Holdek|talk]]) 18:38, 16 September 2021 (UTC)

==Re-add the discord link==

The discord link was disabled a little while ago, but the discord is now accepting new members again so the link being dead is not necessary, so I think it should be re-added. [[User:Good username|Good username]] ([[User talk:Good username|talk]]) 20:50, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
*Nvm I just figured out that i can fix it. [[User:Good username|Good username]] ([[User talk:Good username|talk]]) 21:49, 21 September 2021 (UTC)

==Wonky formatting==

Something is off with the formatting of the Main Page, I feel this needs to fixed as soon as possible. [[User:PsychoNerd054|PsychoNerd]] ([[User talk:PsychoNerd054|talk]]) 23:01, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
:I think [[User:Good username|Good username]]'s edits to the prison counter messed something up. I'm gonna revert everything there. --[[User:4CentUser|4CentUser]] ([[User talk:4CentUser|talk]]) 23:07, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
:Yep, that fixed it. --[[User:4CentUser|4CentUser]] ([[User talk:4CentUser|talk]]) 23:08, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

== Potential New Direction for the Wiki. "Life Advice", "Parental Guides", "How to be Normie and Not Chris", "Psychoanalysis Theories by Accredited Psychiatrists, Psychotherapists, and Therapists" ==

Now with Chris in prison and his life ruined forever permanently confirmed, this wiki will definitely be going through a dry spell aside from minor updates.
(i.e. predictably, more letters, Chris getting abused in the shower room, being released as a homeless person at age 50, shock surprising us once again by attempting to molest a child only to get beat up by said child, than, shock surprising us again by trying to molest a horse, then getting clopped in the nads by said horse, and then dying, but not before defecating on his own face before he dies. His final words being "MMMMM! I love the taste of my own POOP!") ...So, to keep users active, I propose a plethora of new things. One of them being the creation of articles designed to keep people from falling into the same irrecoverable pit that Chris did. Chris was not the first to do most of the embarrassing things he did. There have been other lolcows on the net, and they all fall into similar pits if not as hard as Chris. Take David Gonterman for instance, or Robert Pelloni from Bob's Game infamy, ChaseTheHedgehog or YandereDEV or A-log. They all share similarities and a dash of the highly potent flaws that Chris possessed. Then you have to take into account that there are like 10000 or more people out there like them who are undiscovered. I am of theory that our society is dysfuctional, and made so because of a lack of care by wealthy individuals and policymakers and businessemn. And that if things aren't improved, there are going to be less and less prodigies, inventors, leaders, and cool people, and more and more lolcows and general losers like Chris.

Take for instance, this. A sign of the times:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/minority-report/202007/why-millennials-love-anime-and-hentai-pornography

https://www.bustle.com/articles/99659-millennials-are-masturbating-to-my-little-pony-porn-says-new-survey-and-rainbow-dash-is-the

Now I've been inspired by this ED article, which is my favorite:

https://encyclopediadramatica.online/The_Comprehensive_Guide_To_Life

It contains so much useful info that a lot of people these days don't regard. They live their lives wrong, and then what happens? They get weirdo internet fetishes and become basement dwellers. They also get desperate and either become like that doll collector from Paranoia Agent or they hook up with volatile partners and suffer with it indefinitely or divorce. The children suffer the most, because they are confused and there is no light for them and they lack skills to become competent adults because Corps see all human beings as cattle to be milked for money, and money doesn't really have real value anyway outside perception when you think about it.

I think this wiki should rocket itself forward and become a learning tool. I worry so much about today's parents. I see them letting their kids use the internet and talk with fandoms that will lead to getting fetishes and becoming weird. I see Parent letting their kids eat McDonalds because they financially struggle, and the kids get fat, and then they get stupid because they are fat. Kids are also unable to go out side and exercise. They lack discipline and they need to know martial arts and yoga stances much like kids in Asian countries do and make a routine out of it every morning. Kids need to become worldly, and learn about all cultures and countries and people and ingrain good disciplines and clean their houses and manage their finances.

I think all parents need to know about Chris Chan, and have thoughts of him in the back of their head so that they avoid everything that Bob and Barb did whenever doing a parental decision so that their kid is happy and successful and moral and just plain good.

This wiki needs to recruit actual psychiatrists, therapists, and psychoanalysts, and other mental socio scientists to analyze our findings and create road maps to life fulfillment.

Sweetheart

2021-10-19T20:50:22Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: fixed some mistakes I made in numbering

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]
{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, and a trip to a hooker (two in fact). Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.

Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]]. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with his parents [[14 Branchland Court|and their hoard]], who he'd presumably leave his sweetheart-to-be to raise his kids with.

==Qualifications==
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Chris spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Two's company snapshots|bent a little]], as expedient.

*18 - [Chris's age then] Years Old
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring

In other exchanges, Chris established a few more rules:

*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

==Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?==
[[File:Chris-chan_010714.JPG|thumb|Helloooooo, ladies.]]

Despite an old Trinidadian saying that goes "Every bread has its cheese" ''(meaning that a special someone is waiting for everybody, no matter how badly off they are)'', [[Clyde Cash|many]] [[Matthew Devoria|who]] [[Jackie|have]] [[White knights|dealt]] with Chris would be quick to rebut the idea. (However, an argument could be made that [[Jacob Sockness]] qualifies.)

However, in case anybody reading this article is curious as to why not, there are quite a few reasons:

'''1) Chris refuses to grow up.''' He is a nearly 40 year old man who plays with children's toys and video games all day and still lives with his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Adult responsibilities such as gainful employment and living on your own are completely foreign concepts to Chris, and any [[Monthly tugboat|money he does receive]] is promptly [[Chris and money|wasted on stupid shit he doesn't need]]. As of [[2019]], this habit has been coming back to bite him in the ass harder than ever as the [[Financhu Crisis|Chandler finances sink into an all-time low]]. Refusing to take responsibility, he has [[Please, Donate|resorted]] [[Donation Request|to]] [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.|e]]-[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation|begging]] [[Donations_Requested,_Please|a]] [[Donations_Required,_Serious._Please_help|very]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_1|large]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_2|number]] [[Announcement_06292016|of]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|times]] like a child to make up for his failure to put the simplest of money aside for [[McDonald's|food]], bills and medicine. On top of that, he has implied that if he does get married, [[PlayingHouse|all he'll do is stay home while his wife goes to work]]. He doesn't even plan on looking after the kids for her; he'd dump this responsibility on his old, ailing mother. This lack of maturity and inability to stand on his own two feet would be an instant turn-off to any woman.

'''2) Chris has issues that would damage a relationship.''' Autistic antics aside, Chris does a lot of things that upset women. For starters, he seems to have no sense of personal space, and [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Emily|women]] [[Kacey|have]] [[Catherine|found]] themselves creeped out by his habit of inappropriately touching them. On his date with Catherine, he made a point of bragging about learning from his mistakes with Megan shortly before he ''molested'' Catherine by hugging her and burying his face in her breasts, after specifically being told not to. Needless to say, had this been a real date, Catherine and "cousin Al" would've [[Kick the Autistic|beaten him up]] or [[Michael Snyder|called the]] [[Jerkops|cops]] at this point. He also [[List of Chris's lies|lies a lot]], and when he doesn't lie, he makes poor excuses for his shortcomings, both of which can damage a girl's trust in him. [[Chris and remorse|His lack of genuine sympathy towards people]] has led to a lot of complaints about him apologizing without meaning it. On top of that, he seems to be of the idea that women in a relationship with him [[Women's rights#In real life|will tolerate waiting on him hand and foot while he plays video games all day, and bear his children]], and enable his [[Megan Schroeder|deranged]] [[Michael Snyder|theories]] about conspiracies and trolls.

'''3) Chris is not self-sufficient.''' As mentioned before, Chris doesn't have a job and has no plans to get one, opting instead to live with his mother. His welfare after room and board deductions is barely over the $200 mark, which he wastes on toys and video games instead of saving for something really important. He also has a habit of landing himself into [[debt]] with his purchases, and isn't even aware of [[Mumble 4|all of the necessary bills one needs to pay to keep a house running.]] He has also [[PlayingHouse|indicated]] that if he becomes a family man, he will be leeching off his wife instead of looking for work on his own (of course, there would be no problem with him being a "house husband" if he knew how to maintain a household - [[Tour of Chris's House|which he doesn't]]). It'll become crystal clear to any woman who learns this about Chris that he is definitely not marriage material, as he has at no point in his life been able to support himself, much less a family.

'''4) Chris has issues with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]].''' Above and beyond Chris's problems with self-sufficiency is the person he is dependent on. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but Barb isn't the easiest of people to live with. Aside from her own [[Barbara Chandler#Mental|personality problems]], she has issues with hoarding, she has many of the same issues with authority figures that Chris does, and shows only slightly more of an ability to manage her money. Many people around Chris's age have difficulty dealing with their parents, but Chris has (aside from his devotion to being a [[tomgirl]]) been shown to be neither willing nor able to stand up to her. As it stands, Barb is another obstacle on his [[Love Quest]] and, if Chris was willing to move out from under her shadow, his chances of landing a sweetheart would substantially improve.

'''5) [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Chris's hygiene]].''' Chris does not shower regularly, believing that all you need to be hygienic are a few sprays of [[Axe]]. He also lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy house with garbage everywhere]], and routinely [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shits himself]]. [[Emily|One woman]] has described him as smelling like 'rotten watermelons'.

'''6) Chris is physically unattractive.''' Chris is not inherently ugly, but his lifestyle and fashion choices have rendered his appearance deeply repulsive. Even before he started dressing like a [[Tomgirl]] (already a deterrent in itself for a [[Homos|certain reason]]), Chris always [[Chris and fashion|had very questionable tastes in fashion]], and would often have an unkempt appearance, as shown in the picture above. When first spotted from a distance by Catherine, she believed she was looking at an ugly old woman. The fact that he [[Chris and health|doesn't take good care of himself]] also hurts his chances of attracting the opposite sex, and has resulted in him becoming [[Obesity|clinically obese]] and [[Hair|nearly bald]]. If Chris dressed somewhat fashionably, bothered grooming himself properly and worked out, his chances with the ladies would improve a bit. In fact, during Chris's stint as a [[Carlos Chantor|male escort]], his appearance was comparatively rather presentable and he appeared well-groomed.

'''7) Chris has no idea how to behave around women.''' Chris has many childish mannerisms and social hindrances that are repellent to women (and men alike). In the infamous [[For My Sweetest Ivy|video for Ivy]], these things are in abundance. Chris thinks that when you talk to a woman you like, you babble and coo like you're addressing a toddler. Also, he thinks that women in this day and age would like watching ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', an ancient show from his elderly parents' days. One of the first things new people also notice about Chris' room is that he's surrounded by toys and video games, which pretty much scream "manchild", and Chris has been known to post pictures and videos addressed to potential dates in this room.<ref>[[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG]]</ref> His [[transgender]] identity haven't helped either - he's now a manchild that dresses like a woman, which doesn't even make him seem heterosexual anymore (sure enough, this happened when one of his Tomgirl pictures was [[Chris in the media#Failosophy|featured on MTV's ''Failosophy'']], where the ''only'' person who would date him was the [[Homos|gay guy]], provided he wasn't joking).

'''8) Chris is ignorant and averse to change.''' A feature of autism is hostility to and even fear of change, and Chris is no exception. Chris often believes that, above all else, his way is right, and [[Clyde Cash|anybody who tries to tell him otherwise is a dirty troll]], especially if it interferes with his immediate [[China|interests]]. This kind of thinking can severely damage a relationship where a well-meaning girl is trying to steer him in the right direction, as many trolls posing as women have tried to do.

'''9) Chris is an intolerant bigot.''' [[Homos|He still hates gay men]]. He has shown insensitivity (if not outright [[Niggos|enmity]]) towards people of different races. Woe be unto you if [[Noviophobia|you're ''male'']], too. Needless to say, the only women who'd approve of this stance would have to be outright racists who don't have any male friends themselves, and then you'd have to consider the fact that they must also put up with financially supporting a couch potato who plans to let her do everything for him and shits himself, which would put the total of women who'd be interested in Chris to a big, fat '''ZERO'''. For an example of this and how women would not tolerate such an attitude, consider [[March_2013_Facebook_posts#Gay_Marriage|this homophobic post he made]] (and the replies he got as a result) on Facebook (to truly hammer the point home, Kim, a long-time ''friend'' of Chris's, chastised him for his bigotry).

'''10) Chris has problems with authority.''' Despite the cliché that "all girls love [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|bad boys]]", a sensible woman is going to be put off by someone who is in constant trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. Consider that Chris has on [[26 December 2014|two]] separate [[28 October 2011|occasions]] come very close to being sent to jail for several months; this is on top of his other lesser [[List of places that have banned Chris|brushes with authority figures]]. And it's not even as though Chris's attitude stems from him [[Episode 17#Epilogue|fighting for an important cause]] - Chris is willing to risk imprisonment for something as petty as [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of an animated character's arms]]. Even if Chris does find his elusive sweetheart, few will be able to put up with the constant stream of bans, fines, and jail time brought about by Chris's [[Chris and anger|poor self-control]].

'''11) Chris is incompetent.''' Chris has claimed, numerous times, to be [[Chris and writing|proficient]] [[CADD|in]] [[Chris and art|several]] [[Chris and music|of the arts]], but in reality is incompetent in pretty much every sphere imaginable. He compares [[Father Call|cleaning his house to fighting in a war]], and even then, [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|his idea of "cleaning the house" leaves a lot to be desired]]. One could even argue that it's because of this and his lack of common sense that the aforementioned [[14 Branchland Court|house]] eventually [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burned to the ground]], the result of him choosing to brew coffee in his bathroom with an extension cable propped over the door. He has been employed for maybe a few months in his whole life, then was fired, as he proved too [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical and stubborn]] [[Wendy's|to keep even a minimum wage job at a fast food place]], and he simply hasn't bothered since. He is completely inept when it comes to [[Chris and money|managing money]], meaning any relationship with him will be a financial nightmare. He gets himself [[Banned|into]] [[28_October_2011|trouble]] way more times than he should, such as his attempts to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]], where basic common sense should have told him to stay away like he'd been told. So, long story short, ladies, If you were looking for somebody to be the "man of the house", would Chris even remotely fit the bill?

'''12) Chris's past will always return to haunt him.''' Thanks to the combined forces of the Internet, [[weens]], and even Chris ''himself'', there are literally [[Incest|volumes]] [[Death Threats|of]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|unsavory]] [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|information]] about Chris out in the open for all to see, almost all of which is documented right here. Chris knows this all too well, which is why he strongly discourages anybody from doing even a simple Google Search about him. This was, in fact, one of the key reasons why he didn't even make it to first base with [[The Wallflower]] - a ween mailed her a link to the [[CWCki]]. But even if we were to put aside anything to do with the internet, there are still many, ''many'' embarrassing and undesirable things about Chris that will, in one way or the other, surface that would damage, if not outright destroy a budding relationship - to which this very list can attest.

'''13) Chris is a Sexual Deviant. '''

Chris has many weird fetishes and off putting sexual hang ups that severely limit the kind of women Chris would be able to date. The first of which is his strange semen spilling habits that involve cumming onto his and his potential partner’s skin and licking semen off the skin. Chris swallows his own semen, believing that he will run out of cum if he doesn’t drink his own seed <ref>[[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Semen]]</ref>. Among the anime Chris has watched, he enjoyed the sexualized aspects of anime like Shuffle and the sexual scenes in Evangelion. On the Adult Swim posts, Chris expressed desire to see anime featuring close-to-nude girls (https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Adult_Swim_posts). Chris claims he looked at a Sailor Moon poster in his room in order to “stay straight”, It should be noted that the poster was of Serena/Usagi/Sailor Moon (who is roughly (12-16 years old) and Rini/Chibi-Usa/Sailor “Mini Moon” (Who is a child [!!!]. Chris was 27 at the time [!!!]). As proof with his reactions to softcore ecchi anime, Sailor Moon, cartoons and even his own Sonichu comics when they get nsfw, Chris finds women in anime and cartoons attractive and even gets aroused by his own poorly drawn “sexy” comics. Chris has a blow up doll of an anime woman who again, based on design, could very well be a depiction of a minor(est. around 14-17). Chris finds cartoon animals like Sonic Characters, and his own Sonichu characters attractive. He even saved and lauded a pornographic pin up jpeg/pinup of Amy Rose(A Sonic character who is canonically 12[!!!]) to use in the “4cent garbage arc”. He even did [[Luv Shack|rule 34 of all his creations]]. There is debate amongst Christorians over whether one can classify Chris as a furry or pedophile or furry pedophile. Furry fandom in itself is an infamous fandom with a low reputation on the internet. One of the reasons for such infamy is sexualized cartoon animal art. Chris even finds Meg, a character from the animated sitcom Family Guy, attractive. Not only is Meg not even meant to be attractive (according to the show’s writing team, she is a “plain Jane” character who is the butt of a lot jokes regarding that), but Meg is also another underage character(est. 14-17) For his attraction to anime girls, this is one of the reasons why most consider Chris to be “The Ultimate Otaku” despite not having seen that much anime besides video game and boobie related titles.

While there is a lot of “eroge(erotic games)”, “doujins(fan fiction and fan created works)” and “H-Anime” in the Japanese market, and while plenty of notable “manga-ka” got their start dabbling in “H”-media. Japanese public tends to be low key about illustrated H media. Even if somebody does read pornographic doujins or watch H-anime, they will either try to politely change the subject, deny interest, or refer to someone else<ref>[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZahxIvEBw74]]</ref>. In the American society of the USA, “hentai” as it is known is commonly associated with “neckbeards” and “incels” and other forms of “ronery men” as well as social outcasts that other social outcasts will put down. Self proclaimed otaku often refer to favorite girls or guys they masturbate to as “waifus” and “husbandos” respectively. Such otaku are often stereotyped as pedophilic neckbeards that people at large distrust. “Hentai”, as well as ecchi and other kinds of fanservicey shows are often described as being associated with people who have pedophiliac tendencies by the general public.<ref>[[https://youtu.be/BBnlC9lrKVM?t=81]]</ref> This is because most anime women tend to have a look that most people find infantile(Big head, round eyes). That and the fact that most anime girls that anime fans find sexy are indeed underage by US law (Senran Kaguran characters are all High School Students [!!!]) And in turn, people distrust pedophiles because they are considered shifty since pedophiles tend to be the types to prey on the defenseless like innocent harmless children, and Chris cannot naturally convince people that he is not a pedophile. Naturally, most women don’t go out with people who have the capability to be child molesters because they want the best for their potential children, and other people’s children. Pedophilia is also considered a serious mental disorder in the DSMV and is uncurable. <ref>[[https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/explaining-pedophilia]]</ref> It is speculated that a lot of pedophiles, are very likely manchildren who have had stunted development that has prevented them from growing up. Statistically, pedophiles tend to have lower IQs. This explains why they are attracted towards younger people, because they haven’t grown up mentally, and they want to be with someone on their stunted level of maturity. <ref>[[https://themamabeareffect.org/think-all-child-molesters-are-pedophiles-think-again]]</ref> Chris is indeed a mentally stunted man child, so his gravitation towards young anime girls and cartoon hedgehogs fits in with such speculated theory.
When Chris is horny, he faps, and he doesn’t really pay attention or think about what he faps to, and what he faps to scares off a lot of people, including “potential girlfriends.”
All this correlates to the factor that Chris knows no boundaries, as again, he has groped and touched female acquaintances like Megan and Emily inappropriately, as well as inappropriately touching people at certain cons recently. And this perverse behavior can stem from a twisted perverse mind fueled by a non- discerning uncritical mind towards sexual media and an over indulgence of such media like Ecchi Harem Anime and “waifu” and “moe” ideas of the submissive and comforting perfect girlfriend.

'''14) Chris is sociology-politically Confused '''

Chris is a citizen of Ruckersville Virginia. Virginia is a state in the United States of America, which is a sovereign nation ruled by a government that is considered a democratic republic where members of political parties vie to compete against members of other political parties for votes in order to gain seats in various offices. The party members adopt a set series of stances in order to let people know what they are voting for. Chris has no idea how politics affects himself, but he votes anyway based on illogical feelings. In addition, he lives in ways that betray the political ideals he votes for. He has considered himself a conservative Christian, but lives on welfare(the Kacey’s Father Persona troll, identified as a republican, and explained to Chris, that when members of republican families cant find work, they just go into the military since republicans tend to believe in the power the US military unquestioningly anyway, and that the current actions of such in the War On Terror are completely justified because Americans are always the good guys from a neoconservative point of view..) Chris has voted for Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, but he expresses bigotry towards homosexuals other races. When a potential girlfriend wants to bond with someone, politics is generally a factor. Usually when one doesn’t care about political differences between themselves, a divorce is generally expected to come strictly after. The USA is divided between liberal democrats(who are pro welfare, pro-choice, pro social rights) and conservative republicans (who are pro military and national defense, pro life, and pro free market and gun rights). Chris falls into a camp that is neither of these parties, nor any third party like Libertarian and Green, and lives an unsustainable lifestyle that would anger each active member of a political party. Chris can not properly express his opinion or debate or stand for himself nor just conform to a party which makes finding a girlfriend even more difficult. Republican women won’t stand him for his lazy welfare living, misandry, and sexual deviancy, Democrat women won’t stand him for his bigotry and misogynist attitudes, Libertarian women won’t stand him for both his lazy welfare living AND his bigotry and misogynist/misandrist attitudes, and Green Party women won’t stand him for littering, making fire hazards and being bad for the environment.

'''15) Chris Has No Life Outside of Playing Videogames and Being Trolled. '''

When people look for another mate, they tend to gravitate towards people who are interesting. People who have a magnetism going about them that can draw another person into their life. This magnetism comes from various factors. Maybe the person is incredibly skilled. Maybe the person is a great architect, helping lay the foundation for several buildings that define the cityscapes. Maybe the person is a verteran from a war, with many stories to tell and near death experiences to share and learn from. Maybe the person contributes heavily to a wiki, writing the very information that people absorb across the web. Maybe that person is a politician with a lot of influence, or a scientist researching diseases that are currently uncurable. Maybe that person is a kick-ass martial artists. Or a musician, traveling with a band. Maybe that person is a doctor, or a lawyer, or an accountant, or even a film or book critic, all of which are decent “non-paper hat jobs” that pay well and grant the person much experience. Maybe the person is a firefighter or Navy SEAL, who has saved dozens of lives. Maybe the person is dangerous, or an outcast, but a misunderstood outcast, like a drug dealer running a dark web site to sell contraband based on his libertarian values. Or someone not as dangerous like an anime translator spending long nights translating things he hates. A film director that makes so-bad-they’re-good films. Maybe the person is an anime expert who does a web show, and maybe someone who likes that person wants in on that person’s craft. Maybe that person is rich beyond ones wildest imagination, or dirt poor, with uncanny unmatched urban survival skills. Maybe that person is comic writer who uses heavy symbolism in his work and considers himself an actual wizard ironically. Or maybe that person is a punk rocker with absolute anarchic values and wants to return society rules to year zero. Even serial killers have attracted potential mates.
Chris is indeed, an interesting specimen, as this wiki can attest, but not for any positive or helpful kind of interest. All previous examples of people of interest are people who gain that interest out of some degree of respect and admiration. Outside of the trolling and the Sagas and the speculation, Chris is a boring dull person who has nothing to offer society other than laughs at his own expense and cautionary tales about how to use the internet. Chris is not well read; he mostly just read Goosebumps all the way through high school without picking up any other challenging affair. He barely remembers To Kill a Mockingbird or The Grapes of Wrath, if he even read them. Chris doesn’t know how to sing or play a musical instrument; he only plays guitar hero(badly) and his singing voice is off key, arrhythmic, and cracks every second . He can’t write a complete story with a dozen or so plot holes and a grammatical error or two. And his claim to fame, his bread and butter, his art skills are not to par either; he draws like a kindergartner. He is not charismatic; he wears goofy dirty clothes and stutters and puts his foot in his mouth every time he opens his gob. He is messy and disorganized. Chris has no marketable skills other than what his CAD degree entails(and even that, raises some doubt). Anything interesting about Chris stems from his failures and not his achievements. Because he is interesting from a sheer lack of respect, and that lack of respect is because nobody in their right mind would want to be Chris. Any potential girlfriend will recognize the extreme risk being Chris’s girlfriend, since there is no benefit, and the only thing to gain is a whirlwind of never ending drama. So thus, Chris wont attract a sweetheart, but he will always attract a troll.

'''16) Chris is too old.''' Let's imagine that even if Chris had a job, or didn't smell, didn't have a temper, didn't masturbate to cartoons, wasn't fat, and cleaned up after himself, handled finances decently, he would still be aged past 30. As of now Chris is 39, and will turn 40 in prison. When he gets out of prison, he will be over 50. People in general lose their attractiveness as they age. They wrinkles, and their bodies slow down and are not as spry. The ideal time for Americans to date is in high school, and college. Past that is an age desperation, often highlighted and parodied in movies like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and "40-Year Old Virgin". Most single men at Chris age try to find a woman in a bar(which usually leads to disastrous results) or try to flirt and mingle with a coworker(which leads to even bigger disastrous results). Some men would buckle down and find a single mom, though that is completely out of the option for Chris. To partner up a single mom, one needs to have a virtuous demeanor with the intent of raising the child and raising the child right. Other maladjusted but more functional men than Chris may either just settle for a secret blow-up doll, or hire a prostitute. Chris's parents were an example of desperate marriage. Both Bob and Barb were drunk in a bar and tearing up because of their previous failed marriages. They got together because of codependency since they couldn't stand to be alone. Barb was old at 40 and Bob was really old at 52. It should noted that having children when you are old can cause birth defects and irregularities, such as Autism, which is what Chris has. Also, when you are raising children at an older age, you run risk of being "out of touch" with the world. This phenomena can be observed with most old people and technology and attributed to the old adage "you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Old people trying to raise a child will have a harder time connecting with them, especially is that child is neural atypical which was the case with Chris. Bob and Barb could understand or connect with their son beyond a surface level, so Chris turned out the way he is. If Chris was theoretically to have a child, that child would have a high probability of being even more abnormal than Chris. When one becomes too old, they need to know when to fold, and cut their losses.

'''17) Chris doesn't try.''' Throughout his whole life, Chris has not had even one [[TRUE and HONEST|real]] girlfriend. The reason for this is simple: he won't initiate. Chris is well known to have a fear of talking to women, even [[How to Talk to Girls|resorting to a book to try and get over his anxiety]]. While not as true today, men are supposed to play the role of the "go-getter", and try to woo over "the fair lady". How does the scenario play out in this autistic's mind? Stand around with an [[attraction sign]] with [[Chris and his Ego|ridiculous requirements]]. Back in the day, even if a girl did express interest, Chris would've been too shy to even talk back to her. He's a little more confident today, but it's hardly done wonders for his chances of scoring - instead, he'll turn her off with a cheesy, ham-fisted attempt at a pickup line that just makes him look incredibly creepy and out-of-touch. If there was such a girl who could and would overcome these barriers, the odds that she would meet his standards (just in appearance) are about 1 in 100. And if that ''still'' isn't enough, Chris would never stick to his sweetheart. In his entire life, he has barely had any friends, so what makes anyone in the whole world think he is capable of having a girlfriend? If he is, then his habit of holding back on anything that requires effort and no immediate reward (like moving out, getting a job, maintaining a social life, etc.) will inevitably keep Chris from ever catching that one [[I Got A Fish|fish]] out there.

== Present situation ==

[[File:NaiveChrisHedgehog.gif|thumb|right|300px|This is what Chris's break-ups are like.]]

In July 2015,<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sweetheart&diff=188584&oldid=188265 Revision] as of 26 July 2015.</ref> the CWCki originally concluded that no person - male, female or [[Tomgirl Saga|other]] - would likely find him attractive, but there was still a small window of opportunity for Chris to improve his chances of enticing a sweetheart, with a major lifestyle overhaul and some serious self-betterment.

Unfortunately, that window of opportunity has closed: in addition to all the reasons listed above, Chris has given up on reality with the [[Dimensional Merge]]. What little remained of his chances of attracting a sweetheart disappeared in 2018, when Chris ended his [[Love Quest]] by marrying some of his [[Polyamorous marriage|imaginary OCs]], and then [[Love_Quest#Idea Guys influences|declined]] an offer of a date with a female fan cosplaying as him because of his imaginary marriage.

Even ''more'' unfortunately, that window of opportunity had not closed as we once thought it did. in late [[July 2021]], the [[incest]] call was leaked, and the grim truth of Chris's love-life came to the surface. Called "the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]] of the internet" by some, it turned out that Chris had been in a sexual relationship with his mother since at least June of that year. It is unlikely that [[Barb]] could be considered a real sweetheart of Chris's, since their sexual relationship was probably nonconsensual. If Chris wasn't forcing himself on his mother continuously, there's a high chance that she felt pressured to satisfy Chris's desires and decided to go along with him. This event adds one last reason for why the chances of Chris getting a sweetheart are astronomically low: nobody wants to date a literal motherfucker.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Boyfriend-free girl]]
*[[Gal pal]]
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
*[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Noviophobia]]
*[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]
*[[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Semen]]
*[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZahxIvEBw74]]
*[[https://youtu.be/BBnlC9lrKVM?t=81]]
*[[https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/explaining-pedophilia]]
*[[https://themamabeareffect.org/think-all-child-molesters-are-pedophiles-think-again]]

{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

Sweetheart

2021-10-19T20:49:11Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: Added the section "17) Chris is too old."

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]
{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, and a trip to a hooker (two in fact). Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.

Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]]. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with his parents [[14 Branchland Court|and their hoard]], who he'd presumably leave his sweetheart-to-be to raise his kids with.

==Qualifications==
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Chris spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Two's company snapshots|bent a little]], as expedient.

*18 - [Chris's age then] Years Old
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring

In other exchanges, Chris established a few more rules:

*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

==Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?==
[[File:Chris-chan_010714.JPG|thumb|Helloooooo, ladies.]]

Despite an old Trinidadian saying that goes "Every bread has its cheese" ''(meaning that a special someone is waiting for everybody, no matter how badly off they are)'', [[Clyde Cash|many]] [[Matthew Devoria|who]] [[Jackie|have]] [[White knights|dealt]] with Chris would be quick to rebut the idea. (However, an argument could be made that [[Jacob Sockness]] qualifies.)

However, in case anybody reading this article is curious as to why not, there are quite a few reasons:

'''1) Chris refuses to grow up.''' He is a nearly 40 year old man who plays with children's toys and video games all day and still lives with his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Adult responsibilities such as gainful employment and living on your own are completely foreign concepts to Chris, and any [[Monthly tugboat|money he does receive]] is promptly [[Chris and money|wasted on stupid shit he doesn't need]]. As of [[2019]], this habit has been coming back to bite him in the ass harder than ever as the [[Financhu Crisis|Chandler finances sink into an all-time low]]. Refusing to take responsibility, he has [[Please, Donate|resorted]] [[Donation Request|to]] [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.|e]]-[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation|begging]] [[Donations_Requested,_Please|a]] [[Donations_Required,_Serious._Please_help|very]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_1|large]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_2|number]] [[Announcement_06292016|of]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|times]] like a child to make up for his failure to put the simplest of money aside for [[McDonald's|food]], bills and medicine. On top of that, he has implied that if he does get married, [[PlayingHouse|all he'll do is stay home while his wife goes to work]]. He doesn't even plan on looking after the kids for her; he'd dump this responsibility on his old, ailing mother. This lack of maturity and inability to stand on his own two feet would be an instant turn-off to any woman.

'''2) Chris has issues that would damage a relationship.''' Autistic antics aside, Chris does a lot of things that upset women. For starters, he seems to have no sense of personal space, and [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Emily|women]] [[Kacey|have]] [[Catherine|found]] themselves creeped out by his habit of inappropriately touching them. On his date with Catherine, he made a point of bragging about learning from his mistakes with Megan shortly before he ''molested'' Catherine by hugging her and burying his face in her breasts, after specifically being told not to. Needless to say, had this been a real date, Catherine and "cousin Al" would've [[Kick the Autistic|beaten him up]] or [[Michael Snyder|called the]] [[Jerkops|cops]] at this point. He also [[List of Chris's lies|lies a lot]], and when he doesn't lie, he makes poor excuses for his shortcomings, both of which can damage a girl's trust in him. [[Chris and remorse|His lack of genuine sympathy towards people]] has led to a lot of complaints about him apologizing without meaning it. On top of that, he seems to be of the idea that women in a relationship with him [[Women's rights#In real life|will tolerate waiting on him hand and foot while he plays video games all day, and bear his children]], and enable his [[Megan Schroeder|deranged]] [[Michael Snyder|theories]] about conspiracies and trolls.

'''3) Chris is not self-sufficient.''' As mentioned before, Chris doesn't have a job and has no plans to get one, opting instead to live with his mother. His welfare after room and board deductions is barely over the $200 mark, which he wastes on toys and video games instead of saving for something really important. He also has a habit of landing himself into [[debt]] with his purchases, and isn't even aware of [[Mumble 4|all of the necessary bills one needs to pay to keep a house running.]] He has also [[PlayingHouse|indicated]] that if he becomes a family man, he will be leeching off his wife instead of looking for work on his own (of course, there would be no problem with him being a "house husband" if he knew how to maintain a household - [[Tour of Chris's House|which he doesn't]]). It'll become crystal clear to any woman who learns this about Chris that he is definitely not marriage material, as he has at no point in his life been able to support himself, much less a family.

'''4) Chris has issues with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]].''' Above and beyond Chris's problems with self-sufficiency is the person he is dependent on. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but Barb isn't the easiest of people to live with. Aside from her own [[Barbara Chandler#Mental|personality problems]], she has issues with hoarding, she has many of the same issues with authority figures that Chris does, and shows only slightly more of an ability to manage her money. Many people around Chris's age have difficulty dealing with their parents, but Chris has (aside from his devotion to being a [[tomgirl]]) been shown to be neither willing nor able to stand up to her. As it stands, Barb is another obstacle on his [[Love Quest]] and, if Chris was willing to move out from under her shadow, his chances of landing a sweetheart would substantially improve.

'''5) [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Chris's hygiene]].''' Chris does not shower regularly, believing that all you need to be hygienic are a few sprays of [[Axe]]. He also lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy house with garbage everywhere]], and routinely [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shits himself]]. [[Emily|One woman]] has described him as smelling like 'rotten watermelons'.

'''6) Chris is physically unattractive.''' Chris is not inherently ugly, but his lifestyle and fashion choices have rendered his appearance deeply repulsive. Even before he started dressing like a [[Tomgirl]] (already a deterrent in itself for a [[Homos|certain reason]]), Chris always [[Chris and fashion|had very questionable tastes in fashion]], and would often have an unkempt appearance, as shown in the picture above. When first spotted from a distance by Catherine, she believed she was looking at an ugly old woman. The fact that he [[Chris and health|doesn't take good care of himself]] also hurts his chances of attracting the opposite sex, and has resulted in him becoming [[Obesity|clinically obese]] and [[Hair|nearly bald]]. If Chris dressed somewhat fashionably, bothered grooming himself properly and worked out, his chances with the ladies would improve a bit. In fact, during Chris's stint as a [[Carlos Chantor|male escort]], his appearance was comparatively rather presentable and he appeared well-groomed.

'''7) Chris has no idea how to behave around women.''' Chris has many childish mannerisms and social hindrances that are repellent to women (and men alike). In the infamous [[For My Sweetest Ivy|video for Ivy]], these things are in abundance. Chris thinks that when you talk to a woman you like, you babble and coo like you're addressing a toddler. Also, he thinks that women in this day and age would like watching ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', an ancient show from his elderly parents' days. One of the first things new people also notice about Chris' room is that he's surrounded by toys and video games, which pretty much scream "manchild", and Chris has been known to post pictures and videos addressed to potential dates in this room.<ref>[[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG]]</ref> His [[transgender]] identity haven't helped either - he's now a manchild that dresses like a woman, which doesn't even make him seem heterosexual anymore (sure enough, this happened when one of his Tomgirl pictures was [[Chris in the media#Failosophy|featured on MTV's ''Failosophy'']], where the ''only'' person who would date him was the [[Homos|gay guy]], provided he wasn't joking).

'''8) Chris is ignorant and averse to change.''' A feature of autism is hostility to and even fear of change, and Chris is no exception. Chris often believes that, above all else, his way is right, and [[Clyde Cash|anybody who tries to tell him otherwise is a dirty troll]], especially if it interferes with his immediate [[China|interests]]. This kind of thinking can severely damage a relationship where a well-meaning girl is trying to steer him in the right direction, as many trolls posing as women have tried to do.

'''9) Chris is an intolerant bigot.''' [[Homos|He still hates gay men]]. He has shown insensitivity (if not outright [[Niggos|enmity]]) towards people of different races. Woe be unto you if [[Noviophobia|you're ''male'']], too. Needless to say, the only women who'd approve of this stance would have to be outright racists who don't have any male friends themselves, and then you'd have to consider the fact that they must also put up with financially supporting a couch potato who plans to let her do everything for him and shits himself, which would put the total of women who'd be interested in Chris to a big, fat '''ZERO'''. For an example of this and how women would not tolerate such an attitude, consider [[March_2013_Facebook_posts#Gay_Marriage|this homophobic post he made]] (and the replies he got as a result) on Facebook (to truly hammer the point home, Kim, a long-time ''friend'' of Chris's, chastised him for his bigotry).

'''10) Chris has problems with authority.''' Despite the cliché that "all girls love [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|bad boys]]", a sensible woman is going to be put off by someone who is in constant trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. Consider that Chris has on [[26 December 2014|two]] separate [[28 October 2011|occasions]] come very close to being sent to jail for several months; this is on top of his other lesser [[List of places that have banned Chris|brushes with authority figures]]. And it's not even as though Chris's attitude stems from him [[Episode 17#Epilogue|fighting for an important cause]] - Chris is willing to risk imprisonment for something as petty as [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of an animated character's arms]]. Even if Chris does find his elusive sweetheart, few will be able to put up with the constant stream of bans, fines, and jail time brought about by Chris's [[Chris and anger|poor self-control]].

'''11) Chris is incompetent.''' Chris has claimed, numerous times, to be [[Chris and writing|proficient]] [[CADD|in]] [[Chris and art|several]] [[Chris and music|of the arts]], but in reality is incompetent in pretty much every sphere imaginable. He compares [[Father Call|cleaning his house to fighting in a war]], and even then, [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|his idea of "cleaning the house" leaves a lot to be desired]]. One could even argue that it's because of this and his lack of common sense that the aforementioned [[14 Branchland Court|house]] eventually [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burned to the ground]], the result of him choosing to brew coffee in his bathroom with an extension cable propped over the door. He has been employed for maybe a few months in his whole life, then was fired, as he proved too [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical and stubborn]] [[Wendy's|to keep even a minimum wage job at a fast food place]], and he simply hasn't bothered since. He is completely inept when it comes to [[Chris and money|managing money]], meaning any relationship with him will be a financial nightmare. He gets himself [[Banned|into]] [[28_October_2011|trouble]] way more times than he should, such as his attempts to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]], where basic common sense should have told him to stay away like he'd been told. So, long story short, ladies, If you were looking for somebody to be the "man of the house", would Chris even remotely fit the bill?

'''12) Chris's past will always return to haunt him.''' Thanks to the combined forces of the Internet, [[weens]], and even Chris ''himself'', there are literally [[Incest|volumes]] [[Death Threats|of]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|unsavory]] [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|information]] about Chris out in the open for all to see, almost all of which is documented right here. Chris knows this all too well, which is why he strongly discourages anybody from doing even a simple Google Search about him. This was, in fact, one of the key reasons why he didn't even make it to first base with [[The Wallflower]] - a ween mailed her a link to the [[CWCki]]. But even if we were to put aside anything to do with the internet, there are still many, ''many'' embarrassing and undesirable things about Chris that will, in one way or the other, surface that would damage, if not outright destroy a budding relationship - to which this very list can attest.

'''13) Chris is a Sexual Deviant. '''

Chris has many weird fetishes and off putting sexual hang ups that severely limit the kind of women Chris would be able to date. The first of which is his strange semen spilling habits that involve cumming onto his and his potential partner’s skin and licking semen off the skin. Chris swallows his own semen, believing that he will run out of cum if he doesn’t drink his own seed <ref>[[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Semen]]</ref>. Among the anime Chris has watched, he enjoyed the sexualized aspects of anime like Shuffle and the sexual scenes in Evangelion. On the Adult Swim posts, Chris expressed desire to see anime featuring close-to-nude girls (https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Adult_Swim_posts). Chris claims he looked at a Sailor Moon poster in his room in order to “stay straight”, It should be noted that the poster was of Serena/Usagi/Sailor Moon (who is roughly (12-16 years old) and Rini/Chibi-Usa/Sailor “Mini Moon” (Who is a child [!!!]. Chris was 27 at the time [!!!]). As proof with his reactions to softcore ecchi anime, Sailor Moon, cartoons and even his own Sonichu comics when they get nsfw, Chris finds women in anime and cartoons attractive and even gets aroused by his own poorly drawn “sexy” comics. Chris has a blow up doll of an anime woman who again, based on design, could very well be a depiction of a minor(est. around 14-17). Chris finds cartoon animals like Sonic Characters, and his own Sonichu characters attractive. He even saved and lauded a pornographic pin up jpeg/pinup of Amy Rose(A Sonic character who is canonically 12[!!!]) to use in the “4cent garbage arc”. He even did [[Luv Shack|rule 34 of all his creations]]. There is debate amongst Christorians over whether one can classify Chris as a furry or pedophile or furry pedophile. Furry fandom in itself is an infamous fandom with a low reputation on the internet. One of the reasons for such infamy is sexualized cartoon animal art. Chris even finds Meg, a character from the animated sitcom Family Guy, attractive. Not only is Meg not even meant to be attractive (according to the show’s writing team, she is a “plain Jane” character who is the butt of a lot jokes regarding that), but Meg is also another underage character(est. 14-17) For his attraction to anime girls, this is one of the reasons why most consider Chris to be “The Ultimate Otaku” despite not having seen that much anime besides video game and boobie related titles.

While there is a lot of “eroge(erotic games)”, “doujins(fan fiction and fan created works)” and “H-Anime” in the Japanese market, and while plenty of notable “manga-ka” got their start dabbling in “H”-media. Japanese public tends to be low key about illustrated H media. Even if somebody does read pornographic doujins or watch H-anime, they will either try to politely change the subject, deny interest, or refer to someone else<ref>[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZahxIvEBw74]]</ref>. In the American society of the USA, “hentai” as it is known is commonly associated with “neckbeards” and “incels” and other forms of “ronery men” as well as social outcasts that other social outcasts will put down. Self proclaimed otaku often refer to favorite girls or guys they masturbate to as “waifus” and “husbandos” respectively. Such otaku are often stereotyped as pedophilic neckbeards that people at large distrust. “Hentai”, as well as ecchi and other kinds of fanservicey shows are often described as being associated with people who have pedophiliac tendencies by the general public.<ref>[[https://youtu.be/BBnlC9lrKVM?t=81]]</ref> This is because most anime women tend to have a look that most people find infantile(Big head, round eyes). That and the fact that most anime girls that anime fans find sexy are indeed underage by US law (Senran Kaguran characters are all High School Students [!!!]) And in turn, people distrust pedophiles because they are considered shifty since pedophiles tend to be the types to prey on the defenseless like innocent harmless children, and Chris cannot naturally convince people that he is not a pedophile. Naturally, most women don’t go out with people who have the capability to be child molesters because they want the best for their potential children, and other people’s children. Pedophilia is also considered a serious mental disorder in the DSMV and is uncurable. <ref>[[https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/explaining-pedophilia]]</ref> It is speculated that a lot of pedophiles, are very likely manchildren who have had stunted development that has prevented them from growing up. Statistically, pedophiles tend to have lower IQs. This explains why they are attracted towards younger people, because they haven’t grown up mentally, and they want to be with someone on their stunted level of maturity. <ref>[[https://themamabeareffect.org/think-all-child-molesters-are-pedophiles-think-again]]</ref> Chris is indeed a mentally stunted man child, so his gravitation towards young anime girls and cartoon hedgehogs fits in with such speculated theory.
When Chris is horny, he faps, and he doesn’t really pay attention or think about what he faps to, and what he faps to scares off a lot of people, including “potential girlfriends.”
All this correlates to the factor that Chris knows no boundaries, as again, he has groped and touched female acquaintances like Megan and Emily inappropriately, as well as inappropriately touching people at certain cons recently. And this perverse behavior can stem from a twisted perverse mind fueled by a non- discerning uncritical mind towards sexual media and an over indulgence of such media like Ecchi Harem Anime and “waifu” and “moe” ideas of the submissive and comforting perfect girlfriend.

'''14) Chris is sociology-politically Confused '''

Chris is a citizen of Ruckersville Virginia. Virginia is a state in the United States of America, which is a sovereign nation ruled by a government that is considered a democratic republic where members of political parties vie to compete against members of other political parties for votes in order to gain seats in various offices. The party members adopt a set series of stances in order to let people know what they are voting for. Chris has no idea how politics affects himself, but he votes anyway based on illogical feelings. In addition, he lives in ways that betray the political ideals he votes for. He has considered himself a conservative Christian, but lives on welfare(the Kacey’s Father Persona troll, identified as a republican, and explained to Chris, that when members of republican families cant find work, they just go into the military since republicans tend to believe in the power the US military unquestioningly anyway, and that the current actions of such in the War On Terror are completely justified because Americans are always the good guys from a neoconservative point of view..) Chris has voted for Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, but he expresses bigotry towards homosexuals other races. When a potential girlfriend wants to bond with someone, politics is generally a factor. Usually when one doesn’t care about political differences between themselves, a divorce is generally expected to come strictly after. The USA is divided between liberal democrats(who are pro welfare, pro-choice, pro social rights) and conservative republicans (who are pro military and national defense, pro life, and pro free market and gun rights). Chris falls into a camp that is neither of these parties, nor any third party like Libertarian and Green, and lives an unsustainable lifestyle that would anger each active member of a political party. Chris can not properly express his opinion or debate or stand for himself nor just conform to a party which makes finding a girlfriend even more difficult. Republican women won’t stand him for his lazy welfare living, misandry, and sexual deviancy, Democrat women won’t stand him for his bigotry and misogynist attitudes, Libertarian women won’t stand him for both his lazy welfare living AND his bigotry and misogynist/misandrist attitudes, and Green Party women won’t stand him for littering, making fire hazards and being bad for the environment.

'''15) Chris Has No Life Outside of Playing Videogames and Being Trolled. '''

When people look for another mate, they tend to gravitate towards people who are interesting. People who have a magnetism going about them that can draw another person into their life. This magnetism comes from various factors. Maybe the person is incredibly skilled. Maybe the person is a great architect, helping lay the foundation for several buildings that define the cityscapes. Maybe the person is a verteran from a war, with many stories to tell and near death experiences to share and learn from. Maybe the person contributes heavily to a wiki, writing the very information that people absorb across the web. Maybe that person is a politician with a lot of influence, or a scientist researching diseases that are currently uncurable. Maybe that person is a kick-ass martial artists. Or a musician, traveling with a band. Maybe that person is a doctor, or a lawyer, or an accountant, or even a film or book critic, all of which are decent “non-paper hat jobs” that pay well and grant the person much experience. Maybe the person is a firefighter or Navy SEAL, who has saved dozens of lives. Maybe the person is dangerous, or an outcast, but a misunderstood outcast, like a drug dealer running a dark web site to sell contraband based on his libertarian values. Or someone not as dangerous like an anime translator spending long nights translating things he hates. A film director that makes so-bad-they’re-good films. Maybe the person is an anime expert who does a web show, and maybe someone who likes that person wants in on that person’s craft. Maybe that person is rich beyond ones wildest imagination, or dirt poor, with uncanny unmatched urban survival skills. Maybe that person is comic writer who uses heavy symbolism in his work and considers himself an actual wizard ironically. Or maybe that person is a punk rocker with absolute anarchic values and wants to return society rules to year zero. Even serial killers have attracted potential mates.
Chris is indeed, an interesting specimen, as this wiki can attest, but not for any positive or helpful kind of interest. All previous examples of people of interest are people who gain that interest out of some degree of respect and admiration. Outside of the trolling and the Sagas and the speculation, Chris is a boring dull person who has nothing to offer society other than laughs at his own expense and cautionary tales about how to use the internet. Chris is not well read; he mostly just read Goosebumps all the way through high school without picking up any other challenging affair. He barely remembers To Kill a Mockingbird or The Grapes of Wrath, if he even read them. Chris doesn’t know how to sing or play a musical instrument; he only plays guitar hero(badly) and his singing voice is off key, arrhythmic, and cracks every second . He can’t write a complete story with a dozen or so plot holes and a grammatical error or two. And his claim to fame, his bread and butter, his art skills are not to par either; he draws like a kindergartner. He is not charismatic; he wears goofy dirty clothes and stutters and puts his foot in his mouth every time he opens his gob. He is messy and disorganized. Chris has no marketable skills other than what his CAD degree entails(and even that, raises some doubt). Anything interesting about Chris stems from his failures and not his achievements. Because he is interesting from a sheer lack of respect, and that lack of respect is because nobody in their right mind would want to be Chris. Any potential girlfriend will recognize the extreme risk being Chris’s girlfriend, since there is no benefit, and the only thing to gain is a whirlwind of never ending drama. So thus, Chris wont attract a sweetheart, but he will always attract a troll.

'''17) Chris is too old.''' Let's imagine that even if Chris had a job, or didn't smell, didn't have a temper, didn't masturbate to cartoons, wasn't fat, and cleaned up after himself, handled finances decently, he would still be aged past 30. As of now Chris is 39, and will turn 40 in prison. When he gets out of prison, he will be over 50. People in general lose their attractiveness as they age. They wrinkles, and their bodies slow down and are not as spry. The ideal time for Americans to date is in high school, and college. Past that is an age desperation, often highlighted and parodied in movies like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and "40-Year Old Virgin". Most single men at Chris age try to find a woman in a bar(which usually leads to disastrous results) or try to flirt and mingle with a coworker(which leads to even bigger disastrous results). Some men would buckle down and find a single mom, though that is completely out of the option for Chris. To partner up a single mom, one needs to have a virtuous demeanor with the intent of raising the child and raising the child right. Other maladjusted but more functional men than Chris may either just settle for a secret blow-up doll, or hire a prostitute. Chris's parents were an example of desperate marriage. Both Bob and Barb were drunk in a bar and tearing up because of their previous failed marriages. They got together because of codependency since they couldn't stand to be alone. Barb was old at 40 and Bob was really old at 52. It should noted that having children when you are old can cause birth defects and irregularities, such as Autism, which is what Chris has. Also, when you are raising children at an older age, you run risk of being "out of touch" with the world. This phenomena can be observed with most old people and technology and attributed to the old adage "you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Old people trying to raise a child will have a harder time connecting with them, especially is that child is neural atypical which was the case with Chris. Bob and Barb could understand or connect with their son beyond a surface level, so Chris turned out the way he is. If Chris was theoretically to have a child, that child would have a high probability of being even more abnormal than Chris. When one becomes too old, they need to know when to fold, and cut their losses.

'''18) Chris doesn't try.''' Throughout his whole life, Chris has not had even one [[TRUE and HONEST|real]] girlfriend. The reason for this is simple: he won't initiate. Chris is well known to have a fear of talking to women, even [[How to Talk to Girls|resorting to a book to try and get over his anxiety]]. While not as true today, men are supposed to play the role of the "go-getter", and try to woo over "the fair lady". How does the scenario play out in this autistic's mind? Stand around with an [[attraction sign]] with [[Chris and his Ego|ridiculous requirements]]. Back in the day, even if a girl did express interest, Chris would've been too shy to even talk back to her. He's a little more confident today, but it's hardly done wonders for his chances of scoring - instead, he'll turn her off with a cheesy, ham-fisted attempt at a pickup line that just makes him look incredibly creepy and out-of-touch. If there was such a girl who could and would overcome these barriers, the odds that she would meet his standards (just in appearance) are about 1 in 100. And if that ''still'' isn't enough, Chris would never stick to his sweetheart. In his entire life, he has barely had any friends, so what makes anyone in the whole world think he is capable of having a girlfriend? If he is, then his habit of holding back on anything that requires effort and no immediate reward (like moving out, getting a job, maintaining a social life, etc.) will inevitably keep Chris from ever catching that one [[I Got A Fish|fish]] out there.

== Present situation ==

[[File:NaiveChrisHedgehog.gif|thumb|right|300px|This is what Chris's break-ups are like.]]

In July 2015,<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sweetheart&diff=188584&oldid=188265 Revision] as of 26 July 2015.</ref> the CWCki originally concluded that no person - male, female or [[Tomgirl Saga|other]] - would likely find him attractive, but there was still a small window of opportunity for Chris to improve his chances of enticing a sweetheart, with a major lifestyle overhaul and some serious self-betterment.

Unfortunately, that window of opportunity has closed: in addition to all the reasons listed above, Chris has given up on reality with the [[Dimensional Merge]]. What little remained of his chances of attracting a sweetheart disappeared in 2018, when Chris ended his [[Love Quest]] by marrying some of his [[Polyamorous marriage|imaginary OCs]], and then [[Love_Quest#Idea Guys influences|declined]] an offer of a date with a female fan cosplaying as him because of his imaginary marriage.

Even ''more'' unfortunately, that window of opportunity had not closed as we once thought it did. in late [[July 2021]], the [[incest]] call was leaked, and the grim truth of Chris's love-life came to the surface. Called "the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]] of the internet" by some, it turned out that Chris had been in a sexual relationship with his mother since at least June of that year. It is unlikely that [[Barb]] could be considered a real sweetheart of Chris's, since their sexual relationship was probably nonconsensual. If Chris wasn't forcing himself on his mother continuously, there's a high chance that she felt pressured to satisfy Chris's desires and decided to go along with him. This event adds one last reason for why the chances of Chris getting a sweetheart are astronomically low: nobody wants to date a literal motherfucker.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Boyfriend-free girl]]
*[[Gal pal]]
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
*[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Noviophobia]]
*[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]
*[[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Semen]]
*[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZahxIvEBw74]]
*[[https://youtu.be/BBnlC9lrKVM?t=81]]
*[[https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/explaining-pedophilia]]
*[[https://themamabeareffect.org/think-all-child-molesters-are-pedophiles-think-again]]

{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

Chris and sex

2021-10-11T22:38:39Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: I added the section "cartoon and anime porn". I feel that Chris's attraction to cartoon characters is often not talked about despite it very possibly being key to understanding his mind. I am actually internally divided on the subject of anime porn.

{{Dated}}
{{Honest}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''' and '''romps in the hay'''<ref>Chris has used this phrase since approximately [[2018]], including in [[:File:SchuComic12-9Page29.JPG|Sonichu #12-9]], on his [[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts|polyamorous marriage]] and on his [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-incest-leak-chris-has-been-removed-from-14-branchland-court.96559 incest with his mother].</ref>), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

==Cartoon and Anime Porn==

Rule 34 is a phenomena “rule” on the internet that states:
“If it exists, there must be porn of it.”
Generally, pornographic content and cartoons are made based on all media and properties. If you search for anything, including “lunch sandwich and mountain dew”, you will find a pornographic representation of it.
Chris being prominent on the internet through surfing and links, has undoubtedly come across much cartoon porn.
Chris has reacted to phenomena of Rule 34 bizarrely. He expresses disgust for any representation of male genitals, but he loves depictions of female genitalia and has expressed arousal from pornographic drawings. When Encyclopedia Dramatica peppered the Chris-chan article with rule 34 hate art, Chris responded, by creating an account and uploading his own rule 34 art, to the shock and dismay of everybody.

Even so cartoon porn and hentai are prominent on the internet, they are not considered by society to be socially normal things compared to live-action porn. Currently there is no thorough research on Hentai, Eroge, rule 34 cartoons, and various H media online and its effects on the human mind. Though there is speculation on whether those who consume and masturbate to anime characters are disconnecting from reality or are sexually warped people. This speculation leads society at large to outcast such people who find cartoons sexually attractive. Chris is unaware of this stigma. For instance both Zone-sama and Shadman, are the online monikers of two very (in)famous western hentai artists. Zone-Sama in particular, does hentai animations of popular cartoon shows(they are for adults but a lot of them are porn parodies of cartoons aimed at children and generally of Characters that are minors like the Cartoon Network Teen Titans variant of DC Comic’s Starfire[!]). Zone-sama has never shown his face and general uses the avatar of a little girl named Zone-Tan(voiced by VA named Rika) to update people on upcoming art and animation.
Shadman is known for doing very shocking edgy artwork and porn parodies, often crossing into ero-guro territory(erotic grostesque, a Japanese art movement, and also a problematic fetish genre in porn). Shadman has drawn pornographic pin up caricatures are real life children(The actress for X-22 and the daughter of internet personality Keemstar). For this a lot debate on whether or not he is a pedophile. Shadman is low key and hides his face, and wears a mask when he films himself on podcast. Chris also favorited and liked one of his risqué “loli(lolicon or Lolita Complex)” pictures. One example of this stigma in action would be when CNN journalist Kurt Eichenwald got caught with a hentai site in one of his browser tabs. Kurt became a laughingstock and lost his job afterwards. John Kricfalusi, creator of Ren & Stimpy, was an artist who would constantly draw scenarios of “sexy cute girls”, and he turned out to be a sexual predator. Howard Stern, notable comedian, normal live-action pornography connoisseur, and radio media “shock jock” personality, has expressed disgust towards H anime and it’s ilk when looking at clips of anime con featuring live showings of Hentai anime, and his friends like Robin Quivers have expressed disgust towards it as well. They expressed dismay over people who were going to anime convention in public to watch a live screening of hentai genre anime. They could not understand why anyone would want to masturbate to anime porn, when live action porn is readily available. He also felt that the anime porn was way too perverse and it made him queasy. <ref>[[ http://www.marksfriggin.com/news18/11-26.htm]]</ref> When a listener called in to inquire about his wife who got off watching hentai anime Howard Stern responded:
“Only monsters and women jack off to cartoons” – Howard Stern. On the other end of the spectrum, Bennet The Sage, an anime reviewer and general internet personality is friends with the western Hentai artist Zone-Sama, who again, is an anonymous individual who hides behind a female persona named “Zone-Tan.” He often does sketches with Zone-sama in these animated videos that are published in order to update his followers. Bennet The Sage has asked himself on twitter:
“Am I deranged because I watch hentai? Or do I watch hentai because I am deranged?” – BennetTheSage It should go without saying that Japan has a different culture than the United States and among the many things that are different include laws regarding the age of consent. The age of consent in Japan was at one time 14 years old. Granted, there’s some extra laws regarding this.(An older adult male is not allowed to consummate marriage with the 14 year old until age 18 etc.) This is one of the reasons why there is a lot of sexualized “fanservice” of characters who happen to be minors in correlation to US law. This in turn also correlates to Japan’s heavy emphasis on education(6 days a week of school, lots of studies, heavy emphasis on clubs. A High school club in Japan is akin to a College Major in the USA.) In the USA, it’s most natural to date when one is in High School or College. Most of the popular manga and anime titles out there are of the “Shonen” genre(Boys 7-18), and fanservicey content tends to creep in because the average minds pf 14 year olds in Japan can be considered on par for those of High Schoolers in the USA, making them far more mature for their age. Thus the ideas of a sexy woman are commonly expressed as sexy 14 year olds because junior high students in Japan are advanced compared to the lax junior high students in the USA and have a degree of thought akin to an American High School student. To the average, well adjusted, American eyes, a lot of romance in manga and anime can be quite “eyebrow raising” to say the least.

When popular anime and manga was ported over to the USA, companies like DIC, Ocean Group, and Funimation would tone things down in order to broadcast anime on American TV. Often times these anime were completely re-scored with different soundtracks in addition to being rewritten. Sailor Moon for instance, has the romance between the protagonist Usagi(Rewritten as Serena), and the love interest Mamono(Rewritten as Darien). In the USA version, Serena was a Junior High School student, and Darien was a high school student. In the original, Usagi was a Junior high school student and Mamono was a college student[!!!].
Back in the late 80’s and onwards and towards the new millennium., translation companies like Central Park Media would bring over many titles state side, including much H anime. Their motives were profit driven rather than cultural enrichment or anything like that, so a huge repertoire would include “B-movie style” media OVAs like Project A-Ko, Devil Hunter Yohko, and MD Geist. They wanted to capitalize on the anime boom train and even translated materials that one can say didn’t fit in culturally speaking. These titles included such staples as underage pantyshots, clothes ripping and the like, often happening to female high school/junior high school students. In order to avoid potential lawsuits regarding sexualization of minors, if someone were to care(pornography laws vary across the USA, and lolicon drawings were at one point almost illegalized under the Bush administration), a general disclaimer on hentai and translated eroge boxes would state “All characters In this game/anime are 18 years and older” even so the characters in the anime or eroge are clearly teenagers or children and/or were intended to look like children and teenagers. Since anime art is completely fiction and not photographs, you can say anything. “Cest n’est pas une pipe”<ref>[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Treachery_of_Images]]</ref> indeed. This goes on to even today with eroge titles like Deus Machina Demonbane and Song of Saya carrying the disclaimer.

There are plenty of fans who like this kind of media<ref>[[https://kotaku.com/saya-no-uta-the-song-of-saya-the-kotaku-review-509012142]]</ref>, but the smarter fans tend to be low key about such media and consider the weird sexualized content to be bizarre and off putting by their country’s standards. All of that which results from the weird cultural barrier between the United States and Japan and what the populace of each country considers sexy. Chris is not low key about such a thing, nor does he ever educate himself about this weirdness, but rather grows fetishes for hot young nubile anime women, and expresses dismay over “dumb child protection laws.”

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
===The Bible===
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

===Sexism===
[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professing his love]] for "[[BlueSpike|Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In the 2018 [[All Star]] video, Chris is seen tugging his [[duck]] along to the song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of [[Transgender|HRT]]. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.

During his time losing his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm| prostitute]] its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, than demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; [[Obesity| but luckily for her]] he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him [[Navy| finishing]] so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.

Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own [[Barb|mom]], the exact details of the [[Incest| incestuous]] sex is a bit vague but needless to say every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.

==Homosexuality==
{{main|Chris and sexuality}}

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007175309/http://archive.sonichu.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
{{Wise|he is a furry.}}

{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry was, for a long time, debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it was confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris was actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], in May 2018, Chris went back on another of his long-held beliefs. Becoming another of the things he used to loathe, Chris dubbed himself a furry.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO]]</ref> The Idea Guys also [[brainwashed]] him into believing he is in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with furry [[imaginary friends]] such as [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel]], and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref>

While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry via his obsession with anthropomorphic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], he has not participated in the furry community itself.

{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that [[Mia Hamm|the girl]] was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210206132219/https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

[[File:ChrisChanSexForMoney.png|thumb|200px]]
On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.}}

A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Consider me a beginner with experience blowing [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my loving boyfriend]], willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.}}

Chris told [[CWCProtectSquad]] member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".<ref>[[:File:TingsTingz concern for the prostitution message.jpg]]</ref>

After the [[Guard Dogs]] rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720</ref> He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{main|Incest}}
{{Dated}}
{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}

[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]]-apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such- Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one-another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana- Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest- as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [https://web.archive.org/web/20051223102404/http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold of a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://archive.md/AL1PT</ref>. During the nonsensical [[Sonichu 13| issue 13]] of Sonichu incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] getting married to [[Magichan]] to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].

{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}

On 13 September 2019, while [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu]]</ref>

'''Actual sex with Barb'''

While it was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the [[Incest]] calls were leaked there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, the main one being the fact Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years and telling to Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each over have indicated incestuous interest in each over for a while, however many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's [[Autism]] making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.

After the incest calls were leaked it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so for ''months'', his "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during and after their romps in the hay.

It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.

==Rape==

{{Protip|<strike>Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying that.</strike> [[Barbara Chandler|We were wrong.]] [[Incest|We were so, so wrong.]]}}

Prior to shit hitting the fan in [[2021]], Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to ''move in'' with her rapist ([[Chris and religion|which is technically in-line with certain archaic Christian principles]]), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the [[Christorical eras|Classic Era]] to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since [[BlueSpike]]'s [[Julie Reveals Herself|most infamous incident]] involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, he admitted that he drew [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against [[Megan Schroeder]], who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife [[Lovely Weather]] in the guise of being his future self [[Transgender|(whom is definitely a different person in the future)]]. During the [[Kacey Calls]], he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being [[Liquid Chris]], again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]]. Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the [[TooManyGames]] convention regardless of consent, which ultimately got him kicked out.

Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with a car]], and [[26 December 2014|macing a manager in the chest]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), it was encouraged that women should exercise caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Chris and his ego|an attractive enough]] [[Transgender|transwoman]] for [[Chris and reality|a man to consider raping him]].

In a move that would take everyone by complete surprise, Chris did the unthinkable and committed an act of [[incest]] against his mother Barbara in mid-2021. When one considers that Barb had allegedly been on a mental decline ''(possibly suffering from dementia)'' and confused during the incident, she therefore '''could not consent'''. Making matters worse, she was also likely unable to defend herself due to being frail in her advanced age. This unfortunately means that Chris had committed an act of rape, even if, going by his perspective and his own description of the events, that Barb seemed willing to partake in it.

==Contraceptives==

{{quote|Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)

And I used condoms when I fooled with the [[Officer Nasty|L.D.s]] as well.|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 1]]}}

Condoms, or as Chris has called them "'''raincoats'''", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with [[Blanca]], he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have non-protected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010 <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Condoms</ref> and January 2013.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref>. Its not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his [[Duck]], he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these [[Chris and negligence| explanations]] [[Duck| are]] [[Health| equally]] [[Slow in the minds| possible]]. For those wondering however, it's probably safe to assume [[Mia Hamm]] won't be harboring [[Crystal]] any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.

Chris would later reveal to [[Null]] that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be [[Barb]]. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were [[Health|(at least where STIs were concerned)]] clean and both were completely infertile.

==See also==
*[[China]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Chris and sexuality]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Incest]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Sweetheart

2021-10-11T20:48:43Z

TippyToesTommyTalarico: My additions are numbers 13-15. They cover Chris's sexual deviancy, his politics and lack of life accomplishments. And the correlation of the aspects being additional barriers to Chris getting a girlfriend. I decided to just be bold.

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]
{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, and a trip to a hooker (two in fact). Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Chris's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Chris and don't appear to hate him.

Chris's ideal vision for a sweetheart is more or less one that allowed him to continue living as a "self-employed" stay-at-home husband/father/son, since he didn't make a significant effort to support a prospective family at any point during his [[Love Quest]] aside from briefly applying for a minimum-wage job for [[Kacey]]. Based on [[Chris and work|his frustration at the idea of doing any work whatsoever]], it's likely that he wanted someone to effectively mother him rather than an equal partner, who he could also have sex with and impregnate with [[Crystal Weston Chandler|a kid]] [[Reginald Chandler|or two]]. Chris also seemed to be under the impression that they'd live with his parents [[14 Branchland Court|and their hoard]], who he'd presumably leave his sweetheart-to-be to raise his kids with.

==Qualifications==
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Chris spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Two's company snapshots|bent a little]], as expedient.

*18 - [Chris's age then] Years Old
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring

In other exchanges, Chris established a few more rules:

*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

==Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?==
[[File:Chris-chan_010714.JPG|thumb|Helloooooo, ladies.]]

Despite an old Trinidadian saying that goes "Every bread has its cheese" ''(meaning that a special someone is waiting for everybody, no matter how badly off they are)'', [[Clyde Cash|many]] [[Matthew Devoria|who]] [[Jackie|have]] [[White knights|dealt]] with Chris would be quick to rebut the idea. (However, an argument could be made that [[Jacob Sockness]] qualifies.)

However, in case anybody reading this article is curious as to why not, there are quite a few reasons:

'''1) Chris refuses to grow up.''' He is a nearly 40 year old man who plays with children's toys and video games all day and still lives with his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Adult responsibilities such as gainful employment and living on your own are completely foreign concepts to Chris, and any [[Monthly tugboat|money he does receive]] is promptly [[Chris and money|wasted on stupid shit he doesn't need]]. As of [[2019]], this habit has been coming back to bite him in the ass harder than ever as the [[Financhu Crisis|Chandler finances sink into an all-time low]]. Refusing to take responsibility, he has [[Please, Donate|resorted]] [[Donation Request|to]] [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.|e]]-[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation|begging]] [[Donations_Requested,_Please|a]] [[Donations_Required,_Serious._Please_help|very]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_1|large]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_2|number]] [[Announcement_06292016|of]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|times]] like a child to make up for his failure to put the simplest of money aside for [[McDonald's|food]], bills and medicine. On top of that, he has implied that if he does get married, [[PlayingHouse|all he'll do is stay home while his wife goes to work]]. He doesn't even plan on looking after the kids for her; he'd dump this responsibility on his old, ailing mother. This lack of maturity and inability to stand on his own two feet would be an instant turn-off to any woman.

'''2) Chris has issues that would damage a relationship.''' Autistic antics aside, Chris does a lot of things that upset women. For starters, he seems to have no sense of personal space, and [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Emily|women]] [[Kacey|have]] [[Catherine|found]] themselves creeped out by his habit of inappropriately touching them. On his date with Catherine, he made a point of bragging about learning from his mistakes with Megan shortly before he ''molested'' Catherine by hugging her and burying his face in her breasts, after specifically being told not to. Needless to say, had this been a real date, Catherine and "cousin Al" would've [[Kick the Autistic|beaten him up]] or [[Michael Snyder|called the]] [[Jerkops|cops]] at this point. He also [[List of Chris's lies|lies a lot]], and when he doesn't lie, he makes poor excuses for his shortcomings, both of which can damage a girl's trust in him. [[Chris and remorse|His lack of genuine sympathy towards people]] has led to a lot of complaints about him apologizing without meaning it. On top of that, he seems to be of the idea that women in a relationship with him [[Women's rights#In real life|will tolerate waiting on him hand and foot while he plays video games all day, and bear his children]], and enable his [[Megan Schroeder|deranged]] [[Michael Snyder|theories]] about conspiracies and trolls.

'''3) Chris is not self-sufficient.''' As mentioned before, Chris doesn't have a job and has no plans to get one, opting instead to live with his mother. His welfare after room and board deductions is barely over the $200 mark, which he wastes on toys and video games instead of saving for something really important. He also has a habit of landing himself into [[debt]] with his purchases, and isn't even aware of [[Mumble 4|all of the necessary bills one needs to pay to keep a house running.]] He has also [[PlayingHouse|indicated]] that if he becomes a family man, he will be leeching off his wife instead of looking for work on his own (of course, there would be no problem with him being a "house husband" if he knew how to maintain a household - [[Tour of Chris's House|which he doesn't]]). It'll become crystal clear to any woman who learns this about Chris that he is definitely not marriage material, as he has at no point in his life been able to support himself, much less a family.

'''4) Chris has issues with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]].''' Above and beyond Chris's problems with self-sufficiency is the person he is dependent on. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but Barb isn't the easiest of people to live with. Aside from her own [[Barbara Chandler#Mental|personality problems]], she has issues with hoarding, she has many of the same issues with authority figures that Chris does, and shows only slightly more of an ability to manage her money. Many people around Chris's age have difficulty dealing with their parents, but Chris has (aside from his devotion to being a [[tomgirl]]) been shown to be neither willing nor able to stand up to her. As it stands, Barb is another obstacle on his [[Love Quest]] and, if Chris was willing to move out from under her shadow, his chances of landing a sweetheart would substantially improve.

'''5) [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Chris's hygiene]].''' Chris does not shower regularly, believing that all you need to be hygienic are a few sprays of [[Axe]]. He also lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy house with garbage everywhere]], and routinely [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shits himself]]. [[Emily|One woman]] has described him as smelling like 'rotten watermelons'.

'''6) Chris is physically unattractive.''' Chris is not inherently ugly, but his lifestyle and fashion choices have rendered his appearance deeply repulsive. Even before he started dressing like a [[Tomgirl]] (already a deterrent in itself for a [[Homos|certain reason]]), Chris always [[Chris and fashion|had very questionable tastes in fashion]], and would often have an unkempt appearance, as shown in the picture above. When first spotted from a distance by Catherine, she believed she was looking at an ugly old woman. The fact that he [[Chris and health|doesn't take good care of himself]] also hurts his chances of attracting the opposite sex, and has resulted in him becoming [[Obesity|clinically obese]] and [[Hair|nearly bald]]. If Chris dressed somewhat fashionably, bothered grooming himself properly and worked out, his chances with the ladies would improve a bit. In fact, during Chris's stint as a [[Carlos Chantor|male escort]], his appearance was comparatively rather presentable and he appeared well-groomed.

'''7) Chris has no idea how to behave around women.''' Chris has many childish mannerisms and social hindrances that are repellent to women (and men alike). In the infamous [[For My Sweetest Ivy|video for Ivy]], these things are in abundance. Chris thinks that when you talk to a woman you like, you babble and coo like you're addressing a toddler. Also, he thinks that women in this day and age would like watching ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', an ancient show from his elderly parents' days. One of the first things new people also notice about Chris' room is that he's surrounded by toys and video games, which pretty much scream "manchild", and Chris has been known to post pictures and videos addressed to potential dates in this room.<ref>[[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG]]</ref> His [[transgender]] identity haven't helped either - he's now a manchild that dresses like a woman, which doesn't even make him seem heterosexual anymore (sure enough, this happened when one of his Tomgirl pictures was [[Chris in the media#Failosophy|featured on MTV's ''Failosophy'']], where the ''only'' person who would date him was the [[Homos|gay guy]], provided he wasn't joking).

'''8) Chris is ignorant and averse to change.''' A feature of autism is hostility to and even fear of change, and Chris is no exception. Chris often believes that, above all else, his way is right, and [[Clyde Cash|anybody who tries to tell him otherwise is a dirty troll]], especially if it interferes with his immediate [[China|interests]]. This kind of thinking can severely damage a relationship where a well-meaning girl is trying to steer him in the right direction, as many trolls posing as women have tried to do.

'''9) Chris is an intolerant bigot.''' [[Homos|He still hates gay men]]. He has shown insensitivity (if not outright [[Niggos|enmity]]) towards people of different races. Woe be unto you if [[Noviophobia|you're ''male'']], too. Needless to say, the only women who'd approve of this stance would have to be outright racists who don't have any male friends themselves, and then you'd have to consider the fact that they must also put up with financially supporting a couch potato who plans to let her do everything for him and shits himself, which would put the total of women who'd be interested in Chris to a big, fat '''ZERO'''. For an example of this and how women would not tolerate such an attitude, consider [[March_2013_Facebook_posts#Gay_Marriage|this homophobic post he made]] (and the replies he got as a result) on Facebook (to truly hammer the point home, Kim, a long-time ''friend'' of Chris's, chastised him for his bigotry).

'''10) Chris has problems with authority.''' Despite the cliché that "all girls love [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|bad boys]]", a sensible woman is going to be put off by someone who is in constant trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. Consider that Chris has on [[26 December 2014|two]] separate [[28 October 2011|occasions]] come very close to being sent to jail for several months; this is on top of his other lesser [[List of places that have banned Chris|brushes with authority figures]]. And it's not even as though Chris's attitude stems from him [[Episode 17#Epilogue|fighting for an important cause]] - Chris is willing to risk imprisonment for something as petty as [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of an animated character's arms]]. Even if Chris does find his elusive sweetheart, few will be able to put up with the constant stream of bans, fines, and jail time brought about by Chris's [[Chris and anger|poor self-control]].

'''11) Chris is incompetent.''' Chris has claimed, numerous times, to be [[Chris and writing|proficient]] [[CADD|in]] [[Chris and art|several]] [[Chris and music|of the arts]], but in reality is incompetent in pretty much every sphere imaginable. He compares [[Father Call|cleaning his house to fighting in a war]], and even then, [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|his idea of "cleaning the house" leaves a lot to be desired]]. One could even argue that it's because of this and his lack of common sense that the aforementioned [[14 Branchland Court|house]] eventually [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burned to the ground]], the result of him choosing to brew coffee in his bathroom with an extension cable propped over the door. He has been employed for maybe a few months in his whole life, then was fired, as he proved too [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical and stubborn]] [[Wendy's|to keep even a minimum wage job at a fast food place]], and he simply hasn't bothered since. He is completely inept when it comes to [[Chris and money|managing money]], meaning any relationship with him will be a financial nightmare. He gets himself [[Banned|into]] [[28_October_2011|trouble]] way more times than he should, such as his attempts to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]], where basic common sense should have told him to stay away like he'd been told. So, long story short, ladies, If you were looking for somebody to be the "man of the house", would Chris even remotely fit the bill?

'''12) Chris's past will always return to haunt him.''' Thanks to the combined forces of the Internet, [[weens]], and even Chris ''himself'', there are literally [[Incest|volumes]] [[Death Threats|of]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|unsavory]] [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|information]] about Chris out in the open for all to see, almost all of which is documented right here. Chris knows this all too well, which is why he strongly discourages anybody from doing even a simple Google Search about him. This was, in fact, one of the key reasons why he didn't even make it to first base with [[The Wallflower]] - a ween mailed her a link to the [[CWCki]]. But even if we were to put aside anything to do with the internet, there are still many, ''many'' embarrassing and undesirable things about Chris that will, in one way or the other, surface that would damage, if not outright destroy a budding relationship - to which this very list can attest.

'''13) Chris is a Sexual Deviant. '''

Chris has many weird fetishes and off putting sexual hang ups that severely limit the kind of women Chris would be able to date. The first of which is his strange semen spilling habits that involve cumming onto his and his potential partner’s skin and licking semen off the skin. Chris swallows his own semen, believing that he will run out of cum if he doesn’t drink his own seed <ref>[[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Semen]]</ref>. Among the anime Chris has watched, he enjoyed the sexualized aspects of anime like Shuffle and the sexual scenes in Evangelion. On the Adult Swim posts, Chris expressed desire to see anime featuring close-to-nude girls (https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Adult_Swim_posts). Chris claims he looked at a Sailor Moon poster in his room in order to “stay straight”, It should be noted that the poster was of Serena/Usagi/Sailor Moon (who is roughly (12-16 years old) and Rini/Chibi-Usa/Sailor “Mini Moon” (Who is a child [!!!]. Chris was 27 at the time [!!!]). As proof with his reactions to softcore ecchi anime, Sailor Moon, cartoons and even his own Sonichu comics when they get nsfw, Chris finds women in anime and cartoons attractive and even gets aroused by his own poorly drawn “sexy” comics. Chris has a blow up doll of an anime woman who again, based on design, could very well be a depiction of a minor(est. around 14-17). Chris finds cartoon animals like Sonic Characters, and his own Sonichu characters attractive. He even saved and lauded a pornographic pin up jpeg/pinup of Amy Rose(A Sonic character who is canonically 12[!!!]) to use in the “4cent garbage arc”. He even did [[Luv Shack|rule 34 of all his creations]]. There is debate amongst Christorians over whether one can classify Chris as a furry or pedophile or furry pedophile. Furry fandom in itself is an infamous fandom with a low reputation on the internet. One of the reasons for such infamy is sexualized cartoon animal art. Chris even finds Meg, a character from the animated sitcom Family Guy, attractive. Not only is Meg not even meant to be attractive (according to the show’s writing team, she is a “plain Jane” character who is the butt of a lot jokes regarding that), but Meg is also another underage character(est. 14-17) For his attraction to anime girls, this is one of the reasons why most consider Chris to be “The Ultimate Otaku” despite not having seen that much anime besides video game and boobie related titles.

While there is a lot of “eroge(erotic games)”, “doujins(fan fiction and fan created works)” and “H-Anime” in the Japanese market, and while plenty of notable “manga-ka” got their start dabbling in “H”-media. Japanese public tends to be low key about illustrated H media. Even if somebody does read pornographic doujins or watch H-anime, they will either try to politely change the subject, deny interest, or refer to someone else<ref>[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZahxIvEBw74]]</ref>. In the American society of the USA, “hentai” as it is known is commonly associated with “neckbeards” and “incels” and other forms of “ronery men” as well as social outcasts that other social outcasts will put down. Self proclaimed otaku often refer to favorite girls or guys they masturbate to as “waifus” and “husbandos” respectively. Such otaku are often stereotyped as pedophilic neckbeards that people at large distrust. “Hentai”, as well as ecchi and other kinds of fanservicey shows are often described as being associated with people who have pedophiliac tendencies by the general public.<ref>[[https://youtu.be/BBnlC9lrKVM?t=81]]</ref> This is because most anime women tend to have a look that most people find infantile(Big head, round eyes). That and the fact that most anime girls that anime fans find sexy are indeed underage by US law (Senran Kaguran characters are all High School Students [!!!]) And in turn, people distrust pedophiles because they are considered shifty since pedophiles tend to be the types to prey on the defenseless like innocent harmless children, and Chris cannot naturally convince people that he is not a pedophile. Naturally, most women don’t go out with people who have the capability to be child molesters because they want the best for their potential children, and other people’s children. Pedophilia is also considered a serious mental disorder in the DSMV and is uncurable. <ref>[[https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/explaining-pedophilia]]</ref> It is speculated that a lot of pedophiles, are very likely manchildren who have had stunted development that has prevented them from growing up. Statistically, pedophiles tend to have lower IQs. This explains why they are attracted towards younger people, because they haven’t grown up mentally, and they want to be with someone on their stunted level of maturity. <ref>[[https://themamabeareffect.org/think-all-child-molesters-are-pedophiles-think-again]]</ref> Chris is indeed a mentally stunted man child, so his gravitation towards young anime girls and cartoon hedgehogs fits in with such speculated theory.
When Chris is horny, he faps, and he doesn’t really pay attention or think about what he faps to, and what he faps to scares off a lot of people, including “potential girlfriends.”
All this correlates to the factor that Chris knows no boundaries, as again, he has groped and touched female acquaintances like Megan and Emily inappropriately, as well as inappropriately touching people at certain cons recently. And this perverse behavior can stem from a twisted perverse mind fueled by a non- discerning uncritical mind towards sexual media and an over indulgence of such media like Ecchi Harem Anime and “waifu” and “moe” ideas of the submissive and comforting perfect girlfriend.

'''14) Chris is sociology-politically Confused '''

Chris is a citizen of Ruckersville Virginia. Virginia is a state in the United States of America, which is a sovereign nation ruled by a government that is considered a democratic republic where members of political parties vie to compete against members of other political parties for votes in order to gain seats in various offices. The party members adopt a set series of stances in order to let people know what they are voting for. Chris has no idea how politics affects himself, but he votes anyway based on illogical feelings. In addition, he lives in ways that betray the political ideals he votes for. He has considered himself a conservative Christian, but lives on welfare(the Kacey’s Father Persona troll, identified as a republican, and explained to Chris, that when members of republican families cant find work, they just go into the military since republicans tend to believe in the power the US military unquestioningly anyway, and that the current actions of such in the War On Terror are completely justified because Americans are always the good guys from a neoconservative point of view..) Chris has voted for Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, but he expresses bigotry towards homosexuals other races. When a potential girlfriend wants to bond with someone, politics is generally a factor. Usually when one doesn’t care about political differences between themselves, a divorce is generally expected to come strictly after. The USA is divided between liberal democrats(who are pro welfare, pro-choice, pro social rights) and conservative republicans (who are pro military and national defense, pro life, and pro free market and gun rights). Chris falls into a camp that is neither of these parties, nor any third party like Libertarian and Green, and lives an unsustainable lifestyle that would anger each active member of a political party. Chris can not properly express his opinion or debate or stand for himself nor just conform to a party which makes finding a girlfriend even more difficult. Republican women won’t stand him for his lazy welfare living, misandry, and sexual deviancy, Democrat women won’t stand him for his bigotry and misogynist attitudes, Libertarian women won’t stand him for both his lazy welfare living AND his bigotry and misogynist/misandrist attitudes, and Green Party women won’t stand him for littering, making fire hazards and being bad for the environment.

'''15) Chris Has No Life Outside of Playing Videogames and Being Trolled. '''

When people look for another mate, they tend to gravitate towards people who are interesting. People who have a magnetism going about them that can draw another person into their life. This magnetism comes from various factors. Maybe the person is incredibly skilled. Maybe the person is a great architect, helping lay the foundation for several buildings that define the cityscapes. Maybe the person is a verteran from a war, with many stories to tell and near death experiences to share and learn from. Maybe the person contributes heavily to a wiki, writing the very information that people absorb across the web. Maybe that person is a politician with a lot of influence, or a scientist researching diseases that are currently uncurable. Maybe that person is a kick-ass martial artists. Or a musician, traveling with a band. Maybe that person is a doctor, or a lawyer, or an accountant, or even a film or book critic, all of which are decent “non-paper hat jobs” that pay well and grant the person much experience. Maybe the person is a firefighter or Navy SEAL, who has saved dozens of lives. Maybe the person is dangerous, or an outcast, but a misunderstood outcast, like a drug dealer running a dark web site to sell contraband based on his libertarian values. Or someone not as dangerous like an anime translator spending long nights translating things he hates. A film director that makes so-bad-they’re-good films. Maybe the person is an anime expert who does a web show, and maybe someone who likes that person wants in on that person’s craft. Maybe that person is rich beyond ones wildest imagination, or dirt poor, with uncanny unmatched urban survival skills. Maybe that person is comic writer who uses heavy symbolism in his work and considers himself an actual wizard ironically. Or maybe that person is a punk rocker with absolute anarchic values and wants to return society rules to year zero. Even serial killers have attracted potential mates.
Chris is indeed, an interesting specimen, as this wiki can attest, but not for any positive or helpful kind of interest. All previous examples of people of interest are people who gain that interest out of some degree of respect and admiration. Outside of the trolling and the Sagas and the speculation, Chris is a boring dull person who has nothing to offer society other than laughs at his own expense and cautionary tales about how to use the internet. Chris is not well read; he mostly just read Goosebumps all the way through high school without picking up any other challenging affair. He barely remembers To Kill a Mockingbird or The Grapes of Wrath, if he even read them. Chris doesn’t know how to sing or play a musical instrument; he only plays guitar hero(badly) and his singing voice is off key, arrhythmic, and cracks every second . He can’t write a complete story with a dozen or so plot holes and a grammatical error or two. And his claim to fame, his bread and butter, his art skills are not to par either; he draws like a kindergartner. He is not charismatic; he wears goofy dirty clothes and stutters and puts his foot in his mouth every time he opens his gob. He is messy and disorganized. Chris has no marketable skills other than what his CAD degree entails(and even that, raises some doubt). Anything interesting about Chris stems from his failures and not his achievements. Because he is interesting from a sheer lack of respect, and that lack of respect is because nobody in their right mind would want to be Chris. Any potential girlfriend will recognize the extreme risk being Chris’s girlfriend, since there is no benefit, and the only thing to gain is a whirlwind of never ending drama. So thus, Chris wont attract a sweetheart, but he will always attract a troll.

'''16) Chris doesn't try.''' Throughout his whole life, Chris has not had even one [[TRUE and HONEST|real]] girlfriend. The reason for this is simple: he won't initiate. Chris is well known to have a fear of talking to women, even [[How to Talk to Girls|resorting to a book to try and get over his anxiety]]. While not as true today, men are supposed to play the role of the "go-getter", and try to woo over "the fair lady". How does the scenario play out in this autistic's mind? Stand around with an [[attraction sign]] with [[Chris and his Ego|ridiculous requirements]]. Back in the day, even if a girl did express interest, Chris would've been too shy to even talk back to her. He's a little more confident today, but it's hardly done wonders for his chances of scoring - instead, he'll turn her off with a cheesy, ham-fisted attempt at a pickup line that just makes him look incredibly creepy and out-of-touch. If there was such a girl who could and would overcome these barriers, the odds that she would meet his standards (just in appearance) are about 1 in 100. And if that ''still'' isn't enough, Chris would never stick to his sweetheart. In his entire life, he has barely had any friends, so what makes anyone in the whole world think he is capable of having a girlfriend? If he is, then his habit of holding back on anything that requires effort and no immediate reward (like moving out, getting a job, maintaining a social life, etc.) will inevitably keep Chris from ever catching that one [[I Got A Fish|fish]] out there.

== Present situation ==

[[File:NaiveChrisHedgehog.gif|thumb|right|300px|This is what Chris's break-ups are like.]]

In July 2015,<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sweetheart&diff=188584&oldid=188265 Revision] as of 26 July 2015.</ref> the CWCki originally concluded that no person - male, female or [[Tomgirl Saga|other]] - would likely find him attractive, but there was still a small window of opportunity for Chris to improve his chances of enticing a sweetheart, with a major lifestyle overhaul and some serious self-betterment.

Unfortunately, that window of opportunity has closed: in addition to all the reasons listed above, Chris has given up on reality with the [[Dimensional Merge]]. What little remained of his chances of attracting a sweetheart disappeared in 2018, when Chris ended his [[Love Quest]] by marrying some of his [[Polyamorous marriage|imaginary OCs]], and then [[Love_Quest#Idea Guys influences|declined]] an offer of a date with a female fan cosplaying as him because of his imaginary marriage.

Even ''more'' unfortunately, that window of opportunity had not closed as we once thought it did. in late [[July 2021]], the [[incest]] call was leaked, and the grim truth of Chris's love-life came to the surface. Called "the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]] of the internet" by some, it turned out that Chris had been in a sexual relationship with his mother since at least June of that year. It is unlikely that [[Barb]] could be considered a real sweetheart of Chris's, since their sexual relationship was probably nonconsensual. If Chris wasn't forcing himself on his mother continuously, there's a high chance that she felt pressured to satisfy Chris's desires and decided to go along with him. This event adds one last reason for why the chances of Chris getting a sweetheart are astronomically low: nobody wants to date a literal motherfucker.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Boyfriend-free girl]]
*[[Gal pal]]
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
*[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Noviophobia]]
*[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]
*[[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Semen]]
*[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZahxIvEBw74]]
*[[https://youtu.be/BBnlC9lrKVM?t=81]]
*[[https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/explaining-pedophilia]]
*[[https://themamabeareffect.org/think-all-child-molesters-are-pedophiles-think-again]]

{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

User:TippyToesTommyTalarico

2021-03-15T01:15:00Z

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Hello, I'm new here, but I've lurked and have been keeping up with comedy/tragedy since 2007. I'm currently writing something for the Sweetheart page. I would like to thank FrogWrangler from the Discord server for being kind enough to grant me the privilege of posting here.