CWCki - User contributions [en]

Pmurt

2016-11-28T20:10:28Z

Toggletogs:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Plus, Trump is just too damn rich And [[Chris and hypocrisy|immature]]. And "Trump" spelled backwards is "Pmurt", which rhymes with "Hurt", and he would badly "Pmurt" this country in office.|[[Chris]]}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[File:Trump.jpg]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Donald Trump
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Pmurt [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|A Mean One]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 14 June 1946 (age {{Age|1946|6|14}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| [[Jerk|Male]]
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| President-elect of the United States Businessman
|-
| '''Term'''
| 2017-
|-
| '''Preceded by'''
| [[Barack Obama]]
|-
|}

'''Pmurt''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for billionaire and 2016 Republican President-elect '''[[wikipedia:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]]''' (born [[Pre-1980#1940s|14 June 1946]]). He initially pronounced it '''Murt''', based on his opinion that the P is silent when the name is said backwards<ref>[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]</ref>, however in [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!!]], he pronounced the P.

On 8 November 2016, Chris participated in the US presidential election and voted for Hillary Clinton<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Chris and Barb vote for Hillary]]</ref>. Following news that Trump had won the election, Chris reacted by making multiple death threats against him and Vice President-elect [[wikipedia:Mike Pence|Mike Pence]], which is actually against the [[law]].

==Meaning of the name==
This CWC-ism comes from a [[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote|Facebook comment from 25 September]] (partially quoted above), in which Chris says that "Trump spelled backwards is "Pmurt", [[Random Access Humor|which rhymes with hurt, and that Trump would badly "Pmurt" the US if elected.]]".

Reversing Trump’s name has twofold meanings. Firstly, names are particularly sacred to Chris<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref><ref>[[To Clyde Gregg]]</ref><ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref>; in his eyes, mocking anyone's name will severely degrade them — this article will establish that Chris has enormous disdain for Donald Trump. Secondly, Chris has historically assumed that saying anything backwards induces subliminal stimuli<ref>[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref> — which he believe are enormously influential on the psyche ''and'' the physical body<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]</ref>. Therefore, Chris may believe reversing Trump's name, in a negative context, might effectively alter his audience's perception of him. Beyond the random-access humor, Chris probably thinks his rendition of Trump’s name is a serious presidential objection for everyone to consider.

Chris continued using this backwards name in subsequent Facebook posts and videos.

==Chris's news sources==
On Facebook, Chris routinely browses pages on LGBTQ culture, such as Lizzy the Lezzy. In the wake of the 2016 election, many of those pages became inundated with articles written with a clear anti-Trump angle. Chris forms and reinforces his opinions on Trump based on those articles, rating many of them "Angry."

Examples of the pages Chris reacted to can be seen [https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-11-13-05-02-12-png.153431/ here] and [https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-11-13-19-08-04-png.153440/ here].

It's likely that Chris simply skims headlines or opening paragraphs. The second example was taken one hour after Chris posted to [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence|a Lizzy the Lezzy comments section]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-11-13-chris-hates-and-fears-trump-and-pence.25777/page-2#post-1878273</ref>; given that he was also busy with responding to its readers, it is impossible for him to have thoroughly read the articles.

Chris has also [[Honor Roll|cited an episode of The Simpsons]] as one of his major sources for being anti-Trump<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>.

Interestingly, both Trump and Chris [[Megan|have been accused of sexual harassment]].

==Opposition to Trump==
Chris is opposed to Trump becoming President for the following reasons:

===On character===

*He "[[Chris and Hypocrisy|is very spiteful]]."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card]]</ref>

*He is an "[[Chris|immature brat]] who mocks everyone."<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>

*He "was a [[Autism|one-track tape]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|repeating himself]] [[Honor Roll|on pat [sic] deeds]] [[CADD|that he was "proud"(?)]] of."<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#"Thoughts" on the debate]]</ref>

*He is "[[Chris and anger|hot-headed]], [[Chris and money#Chris and impulse spending|impulsive]], [[Clyde Cash|orange-faced]], [[Chris and money#Barb's toxic influence|money-grubbing]], [[Barbara Chandler|double-dealing]], [[Chris and race|immigrant and race offensive]], and most offensive [on] [[Homos|the LGBTQ]]."<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

*He "[[Gal Pal E-mails 4#OkCupid - She's overweight and unappealing|puts down Women VERY BAD.]]"<ref>[[Misc E-mails#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref>

*His "[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Womanizing and raping actions.]]"

*He is a [[Jerk|male]]. In February 2016, Chris said, "I feel like American [sic] needs a woman's touch finally after all these years"<ref>[[Update 02/16/2016]]</ref> as a reason for why he wanted Hillary Clinton [[Women's Rights|to become president.]] On 20 November, he stated Trump "is of SOO Many Typical Offensive MALE Stereotypes, he probably was born with Two damned "Y" Chromosomes instead of the usual "XY" pair."<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

*He is "[[Chris and Reality|Not Valid to be president.]]"<ref>[[Misc E-mails#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref>

===On the issues===

*He "Wants [[Chris and race|the immigrants to build their own "Keep Out" wall so [he] would kick them all out]]."<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>

*He has "ideals of [[Chris and money|cutting finances]] from all of the more important resources the country needs in communities and feeding the industries from the National Debt. And he acted against the immigrants in that topic as well; [[Monthly Tugboat|they have to work too, you know.]]"<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#"Thoughts" on the debate]]</ref>

*He "will ONLY make the Country go BROKE, as Groening predicted, and [[Chris and Money#Bank lawsuits against Barb|ALL the money will ONLY go to his own debtors]] and the Fat Cat Rich People, and [[Financhu Crisis|Hardly ANY for us in the middle class and below]]" and "Hillary will Tax the Fat Cats and fill the middle class and lower and get the country less in debt."<ref>[[Misc E-mails#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref>

===On issues relevant to Chris===

*LGBTQ

Chris is especially paranoid in his belief that Trump and Pence "hate" the LGBTQ<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>.

Chris has said he does "not just despise Trump and Pence, but as a Leabian Transwoman, and high-functioning autistic person, I fear, too, what would happen with those two God-damned jerks in the White House." In addition, he said, "I fear the loss of my own rights alongside our other LGBTQ community people's as well."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

However, he has been vague in explaining ''why'' any policies they might implement would affect him. Chris does not face discrimination in the workforce, or in society ([[Chris and the Law|at least not from being transgender]]).

In reality, Trump has expressed liberal ideas on transgender issues. Chris is aware of this, yet refuses to give Trump credit, saying he is "most offensive to us in the LGBTQ communities, regardless of his Transgender bathroom choice statement."<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

Chris also criticized Pence, saying that "[[Chris and politics|Pence is just as much Anti LGBTQ and everything else that Trump is]], so my feelings are the same with that rat bastard as well, very much."<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

*The tugboat

He will not give Chris a bigger tugboat, and Chris is worried that he might even try to sink it.

On 14 November, he stated<ref>[[[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|they would drain money from [[Monthly Tugboat|SSI]], making my mother and I closer to broke.}}

In truth, what makes Chris and Barb closer to broke is ''[[Financhu Crisis|themselves]]''.

Chris has adamantly refused to budge on his anti-Trump positions. On 20 November, after radio silence following Lizzy the Lezzy readers and his Facebook friends criticizing him for his repeated death wishes, he said, "there is Nothing, nor any amount of time or whatever else, that would make it the cold day in the earth's core to Ever make me have even a remote inkling of a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma of any change of feeling or heart of mine about Trump ever."<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

==Anti-Trump petitions==
Chris has signed several online petitions in an effort to prevent Trump from assuming the presidency.

*[https://act.credoaction.com/sign/russell_amendment A petition opposing the "anti-LGBTQ Russell Amendment"]

{{quotebox|On January 20, Donald Trump and Mike Pence are going to enter the White House.

They campaigned on a platform of hatred, bigotry, racism, misogyny, and xenophobia...

...[The Russell Amendment] would reverse existing nondiscrimination protections for 28 million people in the federal contracting workforce. That means employers could fire someone or refuse to give them a job because they have a same sex partner, use birth control, are a single mother, are transgender or even simply don’t practice the same religion as their employer.}} Of course, Chris supported this petition—probably because it disparages Trump and references the transgender community. It's unlikely he actually read or understood its contents.

*[https://www.change.org/p/electoral-college-electors-electoral-college-make-hillary-clinton-president-on-december-19 A petition calling on the Electoral College to disregard the election and install Hillary Clinton into the presidency]

Chris also signed this petition, in the hopes that on 19 December 2016, the Electoral College would "ignore" the results of the 2016 Presidential election—since Clinton won the popular vote—and abolish the democratic process of the United States. This will almost certainly not happen.

[[Image:Feelings of the election results (720p 30fps H264-192kbit AAC).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, wishing for Donald Trump's death.]]

==Death Threats==
Chris's hatred of Trump is so great that he made four videos of himself role-playing acts of violence on him with ''[[Transformers]]'', ''[[My Little Pony]]'' and ''[[Lego]]'' toys, with two of those occurring before the election.<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]</ref>, including one where he destroyed [[List of toys#Transformers: Titans Return|a Transformers toy]], further showing his lack of [[Chris and money|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|sense]].

[[Image:Legotrumppence.jpg|thumb|Trump and Pence depicted being murdered in Lego form by Chris, part of a line of his perceived enemies who have been the subject of his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise|voodoo-magic]] [[Gal Pal E-mails 4#OkCupid and Impotent Rage|revenge fantasies]].]]

'''Timeline'''

On 9 November 2016, Chris began making several enraged [[death threats]] against the President-elect. He continued his tirade in the following days, adding Vice President-elect Mike Pence to his death prayers on 10 November. in spite of the possibility that it could land him in serious legal trouble. According to [http://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?path=/prelim@title18/part1/chapter41&edition=prelim United States code], a threat against the President-elect is punishable by a fine and/or a maximum of five years in prison.

Chris has gotten himself into [[Chris and the law|legal trouble]] multiple times in the past, to the point that he has six misdemeanors on his record, with four of those stemming from assault crimes. He is also having [[Financhu Crisis|financial trouble]]. Only time will tell how far Chris pushes his luck with his repeated calls for Trump and Pence to die.

'''9 November'''

*3:28 am - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Chris wants Trump assassinated|posts on Facebook]] that he wants someone to assassinate Trump with a sniper rifle. Chris's Twitter account automatically tweets the post. Throughout the day, many [[Chris in the media#Death threats against Trump|high-profile Twitter users]] retweet the post. Several Twitter users say that they reported him to the FBI and Secret Service.<ref>http://archive.is/bHnGQ</ref>

*3:39 am - Chris [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|uploads a YouTube video]] depicting him smashing a ''Transformers'' toy in effigy of Trump, while screaming "die!"

*3:40 am - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!!|posts on Facebook]] again. He links to the YouTube video and says Trump "should Die now" before taking office. The post is also tweeted by his Twitter account.

*5:15 am - The "sniper rifle" death threat disappears from Facebook<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-calls-for-the-assassination-of-our-dear-leader.25664/page-4#post-1865911</ref>.

*8:30 am - An Infowars.com [http://www.infowars.com/hillary-supporters-burn-american-flag-riot-threaten-to-kill-trump-after-losing-election/ article], featuring Chris's death threat in tweet form, is published.

*11 pm - The same threat disappears from Twitter<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-calls-for-the-assassination-of-our-dear-leader.25664/page-14#post-1869300</ref>.

'''10 November'''
*4:07 am - Chris [[Twitter#10 November 2016.1|tweets]] the Infowars article.

*4:23 am - Chris [[Twitter#10 November 2016.2|tweets]] that he wants his audience to join him in wishing death to President-elect Trump before January 2017.

*6:53 pm - Chris again [[Twitter#10 November 2016.3|tweets]] to pray for Trump's death. He also prays for Vice President-elect Mike Pence's death. He then links to [https://act.credoaction.com/sign/russell_amendment a petition] from Credo Action, concerning the "anti-LGBTQ Russell Amendment."

'''13 November'''
*2:06 am - Chris [[Feelings of the election results|uploads a YouTube video]] in which he uses Legos to role-play Mike Pence murdering Trump and getting arrested. He then holds up a sheet of paper, with the handwritten words (backwards and facing himself):

<center>{{quotebox|(Before January 2017) Die, Trump, die, or by illness, by Mike Pence's hand.}}</center>

*2:36 am - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Feelings of the election results|posts on Facebook]] about being annoyed by leftover Trump/Pence campaign signs. It is unknown whether or not Chris will [[Sonic Boom Protests|take down the signs himself]].

*5:06 am - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Feelings of the election results|posts on Facebook]], linking to the Infowars article. He then tries to justify his behavior by saying, "I'm not the only one who wants him dead."

*9:17 pm - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence|posts]] to the Lizzy the Lezzy comment section, asking the readers to pray for Trump and Pence's deaths "before Thanksgiving." Many people respond, trying to talk sense into him, to no avail.

'''14 November'''
*12:53 pm - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows|posts a picture to Facebook]] depicting Lego versions of Trump and Pence being executed by hanging, while handcuffed. The text on the photo reads:

<center>{{quotebox|Die, Trump, Die. Die, Pence, Die.

We do not want either of you in office; jail for you both is unlikely; We, the LGBTQ community, do not want to lose our protection and rights}}</center>

*1:16 pm - Chris follows up by commenting that, since prison is "unlikely" and impeachment is "difficult" then "Death upon those two before January, 2017, at this time and point is a necessary evil."

*3:07 pm - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#I'm done adulting|posts]], saying "[[Chris and reality|Trump is Not president, mayor, or Anything in Cwcville.]]"

*7:30 pm - The execution-by-hanging post, and the associated comments, disappears from Facebook.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-14-16-chris-simulates-murder-with-legos.25791/page-7#post-1880108</ref>

'''15 November'''

*10:44 pm - Chris [[I Tweet AND Post Simultaneously|announces]] Facebook had temporarily banned him from posting for a week.

'''20 November'''

*5:00 am - Chris, in [[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...|a 22-tweet long rant]], makes several childish insults and says he had given his "issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified." He ends his rant by complaining about Twitter's 140-character limit.

===Chris on his death threats===
Chris has attempted to rationalize his constant calls for Trump and Pence's deaths and to reconcile his violent attitude with him being "bothered" that he has to "resort to death wishing on Anyone."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows]]</ref>

After Chris suggested to the readers of Lizzy the Lezzy (a LGBTQ Facebook page) to wish death on Trump and Pence, they instead criticized him for saying such "stupid" things.

One person said, "wishing death on people you don't like doesn't exactly make you look like a better person in comparison." Chris replied by saying that, with Trump and Pence in office, it would then be difficult to "impeach them and get Hillary in."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris has shifted on how he wants Trump to die. Upon learning of the election results, he wanted someone to kill Trump with "a sniper rifle."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Chris wants Trump assassinated]]</ref> The next day, he asked [[Chris and religion|God]] to do it<ref>[[Twitter#10 November 2016.2]]</ref>. Days later, he wanted Mike Pence to murder him<ref>[[Feelings of the election results]]</ref>. He also believes it's possible that Trump will die from old age before inauguration day<ref>[[Feelings of the election results]]</ref>, and that Clinton would not, since "Men die earlier than women.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>" Inexplicably, Chris also wants "science" to kill Trump.<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

Chris has considered the notion of Trump and Pence going to prison, but has concluded that "Prison is unlikely for them, how difficult impeachment is, what other option is there?" He believes Trump should be jailed "for all of his [[Emily|sexual]] [[Catherine|assaults]] and rape on women."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows]]</ref>

He would prefer for Trump and Pence to simply hand over their democratically-elected positions, saying to "give the role of President, with most civil grace to Hillary Clinton. And since that is most bloody unlikely of Trump, ever, I am still most pained to continue having to pray for Trump's and Pence's Deaths to happen Before January, 2017, by someone else's hands or illness."<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

Due to his [[Autism|stubbornness]], Chris has refused to budge from his anti-Pmurt positions, even after Lizzy the Lezzy's readers ''and'' his Facebook friends criticized him for his repeated death threats. On 20 November, he stated, "I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified..." He followed by saying, "As much as I would like to choose to be rednecked and stubborn enough to plead complete ignorance and utter denial of him and Pence not only on the verge of taking office, there is still too many damn visuals about the bastards that plain further frustrate and upset me."<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

Unfortunately for Chris, he simply forms his opinions via skimming clickbait articles whose authors are highly biased against Trump. Due to his [[Announcement 06292016|untreated autism]], he does not attempt to do a more objective analysis. Instead, he has effectively become brainwashed on matters that he was not equipped to fully understand in the first place, to the point that he believes that "Death upon those two before January, 2017, at this time and point is a necessary evil.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows]]</ref>"

==See Also==
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[Death Threats]]

==Sources==
<references/>
{{People}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Muscle bra

2016-03-21T10:00:06Z

Toggletogs: Update on what CWC thinks his cup size is

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin.|Chris}}

[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Happy Chris in a muscle bra and with [[PS3|life upgrade]]]]
[[Image:Cwcbraorig.JPG|thumb|Unhappy Chris in a classic (read: his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]]'s) bra]]
'''Muscle bra''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for the [[Wikipedia:sports bra|sports bra]] that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] wears on his [[obesity|manboobs]]. Unfortunately for all involved, it only makes his [[Wikipedia:Gynecomastia|gynecomastia]] all the more appalling.

The muscle bra, also known as '''the Muscle Bra of Fail''', first appeared in [[October 2009]] in a leaked e-mail accompanied by photos. His usually bouncy moobs soon became less noticeable in subsequent videos.

For several years, Chris demanded that all men wear bras under penalty of law.

==Chris and bras==
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|Chris after converting his bra into a wearable [[Attraction Sign]]]]
[[File:Wantwoman.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
[[File:ToplessTuesday.jpg|thumb|What happens when Chris doesn't wear his bra.]]

Chris had a fetish for cross-dressing for some time before he proudly revealed it to the public. He wore his [[mother]]'s undergarments for [[Blanca]] in mid-2008. In the [[Chris Sex Videos]], recorded around the same time, he appears to be wearing a cut-off red t-shirt as a makeshift bra. In the summer of 2009, he admitted to [[Ivy]] that he enjoyed wearing women's underwear. She persuaded him to draw a picture of [[Punchy Sonichu]] wearing a bra and panties "to symbolically display an acceptance of Chris’ interests."<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> He did so, but for reasons which remained a mystery to his fans for the time being.

For a while he also had mixed feelings about showing his own naked chest. For Ivy he drew several pictures of himself [[:File:CWCFlex.jpg|topless]]. In one he is pointedly waving his clown shirt above his head. In this idealized self-image his manboobs are non-existent and thus need no support. Also, in April 2009, he made [[Power|three short videos]] in which he demonstrated his physical strength whilst topless.

On 1 September 2009 he told [[Kacey]] he was planning on buying a bra, presumably to control the bouncing of his manboobs while jogging. A few days later, he bought his first bras, and was so happy with them that he photographed himself wearing one and sent the images to a gal-pal.

{{quote|I just spent a whole minute just lookin' at myself without my shirt on, and it with- with my bra- with my bra on. J-just lookin' at myself in the mirror for one minute, studying myself. It was like, you know, I mean, you know, at first I didn't know what to think, that's, like you know- that's why I sit in the mirror and look- took a good long- took a good one- took a good long look, there. And then I went to feed my cats...and that was about fifteen minutes later, and then that thought came back-....I had- the thou- the image from what I saw in the mirror came back to me, and I thought- and then I was like, "yeah, I look pretty good, and I- and I can accept this, I can get used to this," and then I- and then I just felt confident.|Chris to Kasey<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>}}

From this moment he was hooked.

At first Chris assumed that bras were disposable. This was confirmed when he told Kacey that he threw away each bra after it accumulated three days' worth of 'tard sweat, because he didn't think that bras were washable.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> We already know from the below email that Chris bought one set of sports bras in a three-pack, and due to his notorious cheapness we have no reason to think he did not do the same with the second set of bras. Chris also reveals in a video that he wears bras with a band size of 42. His cup size has not been confirmed, although in one of his videos where he is mumbling and rambling he seems to say, "Might say a little bit an A, a little bit of a size A," as he slaps the slabs of fat. While this could be a confirmation, he does not exactly have the ability to accurately determine the size of things. (Update: As of 2015 and him flashing his viewers under the reasoning to #FreeTheNipple, he is now claiming he is a D cup. It is up to you, the reader, to decide if you'll believe he grew three cup sizes.)

The general public first became aware of Chris's muscle bras in [[April 2010]] with a [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|leaked video]]. The following day, possibly to steal the trolls' thunder, he voluntarily appeared in another [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video]] for the public wearing his muscle bra. By this time, however, his rationale had shifted--it was not for comfort, but rather because he was offended by the sight of shirtless men. This new conviction would spur his campaign described below.

In [[June 2010]] Chris went to [[Fridays After Five]], where he continued to carry out his campaign against exposed manboobs among the general public by wearing his muscle bra to the event. It seemed that Chris has also found another use for his muscle bra, demonstrated by his converting it into an [[attraction sign]] with a black marker. Whereas most normal people would perhaps draw on a t-shirt to make their point, Chris has devised a seemingly superior method of [[Love Quest|making his]]. That's right: for a woman to have read his statement of intent to engage in a romantic and sexual relationship with her, she'd have to have stared at one of the more disturbing outward pieces of evidence that he ''just doesn't understand how those relationships work'', which may or may not be a poetic microcosm of his entire fucking life since puberty.

In 2011 a new wrinkle appeared--he was into not just bras, but transvestism in general. He declared himself to be a [[Tomgirl Saga|Tomgirl]] and, later, a male lesbian, and he enthusiastically walked around in public wearing a blouse and skirt. He wore bras in photos uploaded to dating websites and Facebook. The muscle bra was folded into his new fashion paradigm.

==Muscle bras for everyone==
[[File:GrossedMyselfOUT.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's typical response to a shirtless dude.]]
''Main article:'' [[Brassieres For Males]]

Chris's appreciation for bras goes beyond his penchant for dressing like a woman. It is also tied closely to the disgust he feels at seeing male bodies. Chris seems to find the sight of bare male chests extremely unappealing and even offensive. As early as October 2009, in a [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|video]] he released showing an illustration of himself bare-chested, he censored his own drawn nipple with a slip of paper. In the [[April 2010]] video message [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Men Should NEVER be Topless]] he strongly insisted that all men should wear bras and said he would actually make it a [[law]]. He has gone so far as to cover or vandalize images of male torsos in stores while shopping.

{{quote|I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a muscle bra. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.|Chris<ref>[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]</ref>}}

If anything, his revulsion has only intensified over time. In October 2014 he raged to a friend, "those UGLY, OFFENSIVE, VULGAR TOPLESS HIDES JUST GIVE ME REALLY BAD SHIVERS AND QUAKES; NEAR ENOUGH TO CAUSE A FREAKING SEIZURE!!!" He is convinced that at least half the population--especially straight men--share this belief. At other times he has claimed that "NOBODY is ever truly impressed with the topless male nudity."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref>

At first, it was supposed among his fans that there might be unstated reasons for his campaign. Perhaps due to his [[Chris and art|inability]] to differentiate differences in the anatomy of other human beings, he saw it as necessary for other males to cover up as well. Or perhaps, he simply wanted to rationalize the fact that he needed one for his big breasts by encouraging people who do not need one to wear one as well, thus hiding his embarrassment. As the years passed, however, his statements of repugnance at the male physique only multiplied, and it became apparent that he was being sincere in his rationale. Whether this stems from autism, projected self-hatred, or some undiagnosed mental illness, none can say.

Hiding the male body became such an important cause for Chris that in [[September 2013]], he revealed a [[Brassieres For Males|Facebook page]] dedicated to the muscle bra. Its original purpose was "to support making it legally required for men of all ages to wear (sports) bras to cover their topless chests." However, thanks to the influence of certain friends, the page was soon modified to say that men should be merely encouraged to wear bras, "as a way to express identity or modesty." After coming out as a male lesbian in 2014, he extended his appeal to the Human Rights Campaign, writing, "Topless male nudity is offensive to me, and to others as well I am sure. It should be socially appropriate for all men to wear a (Sports) Brassiere!"

==The bra e-mail==
The following e-mail was leaked in October 2009, along with a series of illustrative photos. The identity of the recipient has never been publicly revealed, but more of her correspondence can be found [[Gal Pal E-mails|here]].

{{quotebox|[[Stress]] causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my [[YouTube]]. 

Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of [[Guitar Hero|G.H.5]], my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]]; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my [[Wikipedia:Brassiere measurement|bust size]]; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a [[sex toys|Guitly Pleasure]] or something. 

Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to [[McDonald's|McD]], [[Wikipedia:Toys "R" Us|Toys 'R' Us]], [[Wikipedia:Sheetz|Sheetz]], [[Wikipedia:Food Lion|Food Lion]] and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really [[Family Guy|ground my gears]] to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]].

Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris on PowerWeb ("Why PowerWeb STINKS on Ice")|STUPID POWERWEB!]]<ref>{{CWCipedia link|TwoMarys#Mary_Lee_Walsh|TwoMarys on CWCipedia}} Chris seems to hate the PowerWeb because it's a pet project of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and he was too dumb to understand how to use it.</ref> Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth. 

<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good.

Something else, I'll forward you an e-mail I sent to [[Kacey]] last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine. 

I'll TTYL, 
Stay Safe, 
Chris.}}

==Gallery==
===E-mail images===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-little-teapot.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-creepy-stare.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-with-crossed-arm.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Animated gifs===
[[Image:127193894817.gif]]
[[Image:127193932971.gif]]
[[Image:127193992465.gif]]
[[Image:127193999352.gif]]

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Gaybian]]
*[[Tomgirl Pictures]] and the subsequent [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomgirl revelations]]
*[[Brassieres For Males]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5645734 Chris's bras at Wal-Mart]
*[http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090727052138AAL0i56 Chris's inspiring others to revolutionize men's fashion!!111]
{{CWC-isms}}
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

OkCupid

2014-09-01T08:26:48Z

Toggletogs:

'''OkCupid''', one of the more popular [[dating]] websites, matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as [[Match.com]], OkCupid allows users to message and search each other for [[Chris and money|free]], only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. Like so many other [[dating profiles|dating websites]] before, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] joined this one with high hopes.
{{TOC limit|2}}

==CWCSONICHU profile==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|OkCupid profile screencap ]]

Chris created his first OkCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it quickly, and he never answered any of the questions or quizzes that the site uses to build a personality profile of each user. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of [[True and Honest]] [[China|love]]. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual [[sex]]."

While mildly entertaining, this profile has been quickly overtaken by the veritable train wreck that is his current profile. After a short time, the profile was hacked by [[troll]]s.

===Profile text===

I am [[Autistic]], Fun, and [[Plagiarism|Creative.]]

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm [[naive|young at heart]]. I'm currently writing a [[comic]] book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit [[Autism|shy]], but I would enjoy the company of [[Boyfriend-free girl|a beautiful girl]] who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from [[Manchester High School|high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I am doing very well at [[PVCC]]. A lot of [[Jerks|men]] make false promises to their girlfriends, but [[List of Chris's lies|I am totally different.]] When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise [[Monthly tugboat|care]], [[Women's Rights|respect]], [[Chris and Death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.

Who I'd like to meet:

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] (both in the state of [[Virginia]]) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''Looking for:''' [[Gal-pal|New friends]], Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, [[PandaHalo|Long-distance penpals]], [[Hanky panky|Casual sex]]

OKCupid has a variety of other fields such as religion, height, race, ect, all of which Chris left blank.

==ChrisCSonichu profile==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, recycled from his adventures as [[The Hook Cafe|direct2sex]].]]

Chris's return to OkCupid started on 4 [[April 2009]] under the name "ChrisCSonichu." This was a much more involved affair than his earlier profile, as Chris updated this profile frequently. These updates slowly changed the page from a badly-written but largely benign profile, into a violently insane, sex-obsessed manifesto about how awesome Chris is, and how hot girls should be having sex with him right now. This slow evolution from stupid and relatively innocent to stupid, filthy and deranged can be found in virtually everything Chris has ever made, but is perhaps most evident in his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

The earliest saved version we have of Chris's page is relatively harmless. Chris makes an ass of himself in two languages, and refers to himself as a creative genius, but on the whole there's nothing too outlandish. This easygoing period would not last.
{{-}}
{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the first version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm [[Pedofork|young at heart]]. I have a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book series]]. I would [[Sex|enjoy the company]] of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from [[high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmong Virginia Community College]] with a Degree and a Certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[Niggos|black]] and single.

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on [[PS3|my projects]] and helping my family.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Chris and art|crafting]], [[The MovingFoward videos|making well-thought decisions]], [[51 50|heavy lifting]] and other things.

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to [[The Creepy Stare|my face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from [[R.L. Stine|R.L. Stein]]; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of [[Chris and music|music]] (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend/Sweetheart]].
 -My [[video games|Video Games]] ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], [[Nintendo|DS and Wii]], and all of my older consoles).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My good [[Chris and health|health]].
 (Not sure about the final two)

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing my "[[Sonichu]]'s Adventures" on [[LittleBiGPlanet]], or [[Guitar Hero]] or the current video game I'm playing.

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy [[Autism|autÃstico altamente funcionales]], y estoy un [[Virgin|virgen]] esperando por mi novia bonita.

''English Translation: I am an Autistic functioning at a high level, and I am a virgin searching for my pretty girlfriend.''

====You should message me if====
You're A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" and F) (the old expression) Boyfriend-Free.
|}
Over the course of several edits, Chris's profile eventually reached its current, horrifying form. All references to childish things, such as [[LittleBigPlanet]] and [[Sonichu]] were removed, and replaced with things Chris thought of as "manly" like [[Guitar Hero]]. The sheer importance that women meet him "[[Rape|in person]]" became more and more emphasized, as well as constant references to how much he needs sex as soon as humanly possible. The legendary [[Third Date]] is completely foregone in favor of Chris getting precious [[China]] on his very first encounter with a woman, and requirements were added demanding that in-person contact must be had no later than two days after the first online contact. Despite his attempts to avoid embarrassing himself with his profile, Chris still misspelled the name of his alma mater, referring to it as "Piedmong Valley Community College".

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the second version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|making well-thought decisions]], [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and [[Speech impediment|easy to converse with]].

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -Sex
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -Sex
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -[[Random Access Humor|Sex LOL]]
 -My good health.
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.

''Note:Chris has recently removed the Sex, Sex, and Sex LOL requirements from this list, replacing them with a single entry for "Food and Water". We have retained them in our version for the sake of completeness.''

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

The only interim change between the first and final versions of this page is Chris's most private thing, where he briefly stated in English that he was an autistic virgin.

{{Quote|I am high-functioning autistic, and I am a virgin; do not be afraid of me nor judge me. I've conquered most of my autistic traits (more of which can be learned on [[wikipedia]] or on autism.org)|Chris, before expunging it from the record entirely.}}

{{-}}

On or around June 12, Chris revisited his OKCupid entry and updated it briefly. Beyond an extra line, Chris added in a new section to the list. [[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet, our ass.]]

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the third version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

I am compassionate, reliable, and honest

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, making well-thought decisions, [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My [[Health|good health]].
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.
 -[[McDonalds|Food]]/[[Coca-Cola|Water]]

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====I'm Looking For====
 * Girls who like guys
 * Ages 21-28
 * Near me
 * Who are single
 * For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

[[File:Dat-thinning.jpeg|thumb|Evidence of Chris' marked decline in health.]]

As of February 2013, Chris's profile has been updated once again. The latest version of his profile now features new references to [[Tomgirl|tomgirlism]] and a considerable de-emphasis on the importance of quick sex. Particularly notable about this update is the addition of a new photo, showing Chris to have a [[Chris and Health|sickly blue complexion]], thinning uncut hair, and worsening [[obesity]]. This apparent decline in health is hardly suprising, considering Chris' sedentary lifestyle and gratuitous consumption of [[McDonald's]].

Also of note is Chris' insistence that all potential dates "IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS", a mantra he has repeated on his [[Facebook]] profile and even in personal correspondence, referring people who wish to know more about him to the [[CWCki]] while simultaneously instructing them to IGNORE ALL DEROGATORY CONTENT. Obviously, Chris has failed to realize the paradoxical effect of preemptively instructing people to ignore anything bad they may read about him, only serving to further interest in his autistic antics.

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the fourth version.
|-
|

====My self-summary====
I am an all-around, [[Toys|emotionally mature]], good natured, high-functioning [[Autism|autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of freak or something. I am a good listener, and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the Original Creator of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of [[Cwcville]], VA. ([[Chris and reality|IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS]])

I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant [[Stress|heartaches]].

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/[[Sweetheart from the ground up|Future Wife from the ground up]]. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding and patient.

ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY; I have had [[Julie|bad]] [[Ivy|online]] [[Jackie|experiences]] numerously from a lot of [[Trolls|fake people]]. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be.

====[[PS3|What I’m doing with my life]]====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my [[Sonichu (comic)|projects]] and helping my family. I also work on my art projects, get some exercise in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
Drawing, writing, crafting, [[28 October 2011|making well-thought decisions]], heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====[[Axe|The first things people usually notice about me]]====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food====
[[Goosebumps]] or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
*(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart.
*My iPhone.
*My creative genius.
*My good health.
*My glasses.
*Food/Water.

====[[Sex|I spend a lot of time thinking about]]====
[[Attraction Sign|How]] and [[Fridays After Five|where]] to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
I am Very Interested in pleasantly livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|Compassionate]] And Passionate.

====I’m looking for====

* Straight girls only
* Ages 25–30
* Near me
* Who are single
* For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON Right Now; Online Communications are OUT. As Well As If You are A) 25-30 years old, B) not [[Niggos|black]] (no personal offense), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) [[Honest Content|Honest]], Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA, H) financially stable ([[Monthly tugboat|I get along fair and surviving]]), and You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc.

|}

{{clear}}
==LevelUpKing Profile==
[[File:LevelUpKing okcupid profile screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg|thumb|Screenshot of profile]]
In July 2014, a [[CWCki Forums]] member found yet another OkCupid profile that Chris created.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/updated-okc-profile.4193</ref>

However, the profile is mostly unused as of September, due to [[trolls|mysterious reasons]].
[[File:TrollsonOKCupid2014.png]]

===About===
'''My self-summary''' 
I'm an empathetic artistic individual with honest emotions. I'm [[List of Chris's lies|genuine]] about how I feel and [[Chris and hypocrisy|I stick to my beliefs]]. I care about those closest to me, especially [[Cole Smithey|my family]]. I have a [[Things Chris has ripped off|big imagination]] and love using it towards my creations. I graduated from PVCC with an associates in Computer Aided Drafting. I try to think outside the box. My sense of [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] matches my personality and how I emotionally feel. Sometimes I'm [[slow-in-the-minds|a little scatterbrained]], so please don't mind me if I jump topics. :)

My hobbies/interests include creating, drawing/coloring, creating with Lego, video games, walking, music, and shopping.

'''What I’m doing with my life''' 
Taking care of my mother and pets.

'''I’m really good at''' 
Anything art related. I'm also pretty good at video games.

'''The first things people usually notice about me''' 
[[Tomgirl Pictures|My fashion. ;)]]

'''Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food''' 
Movies: tied for #1, Mary Poppins and My Little Pony - Equeatria Girls. #2: The Lego Movie. #3: Yellow Submarine. Meet Me In St. Louis, Singin' in the Rain, On the Town, and other musicals.

TV Shows: My Little Pony (all generations), Sonic the Hedgehog, Transformers, Fraiser, Keeping Up Appearances, Daria, Sailor Moon and other anime.

Music: I like most types of music, including Pop, Jazz, Rock and Classic. Artists: Britney Spears, Katy Perry, the Beatles and others.

'''The six things I could never do without''' 
No particular order. My iPhone, Lego collection and creations, video games, my family of mother, 2 beagles and cat, my artworks, my future sweetheart and children (still yet to be determined).

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about''' 
How I can improve my life and future.

'''On a typical Friday night I am''' 
At home, minding my small family, piddling with my Legos, watching a flick, playing a video game or whatever. And definitely Feeling lonely for an eligible woman to be my Sweetheart, closest friend and Future Wife.

'''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|The most private thing I’m willing to admit]]''' 
I have been emotionally hurt a lot before, and I am reasonably paranoid of others, especially online. Which is WHY it is Mandetory for immediate in person meeting with me.

'''I’m looking for''' 
*Girls who like guys
*Ages 23–32
*Near me
*Who are [[Boyfriend-free girl|single]]
*For [[gal pal|new friends]], long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

'''You should message me if''' 
YOU Make the First Move and Ask ME Out, Please. 
And if you are single, caring, compassionate, confident, honest, smoke-free, and you MUST be willing to Meet In Person IMMEDIATELY or ASAP. :)

"My Details"

Orientation: [[Homos|straight]]

Ethnicity: [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White]]

Height: 5`10"(1.78m)

Body type: [[obesity|Average]]

Diet: [[McDonald's|Mostly anything]]

Smokes: No

Drinks: Socially

Drugs: Never

Religion: [[Chris and religion|christianity]], and somewhat serious about it

Sign: Pisces, and it`s fun to think about

Education: graduated from two-year college

Job: other

Income: [[monthly tugboat|-]]

Relationship status: single

Relationship type: [[Vanessa Hudgens|strictly monogamous]]

Offspring: [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|doesn`t have kids but wants them]]

Pets: has cats and has dogs

Speaks: [[Chris and English|english]](fluently), [[Spanish|spanish]](okay)
-----------------------------------
It should be noted that as of this edit (July 9th, 2014), Chris had answered at least 1,333 questions (that's 134 pages).

== He Might Be... ==
The chart OkCupid generated to summarize Chris compares his traits against other members of the site, claiming that he might be "more morally conventional", "[[Chris and religion|more spiritual]]", "[[Chris and art|more artsy]]", "more sloppy", "worse mannered", "[[Chris and sex|less sex driven]]", "[[Barbara Chandler|less independent]]", "[[Chris and remorse|less compassionate]]", "[[Love quest|less experienced in love]]", "[[Chris and his ego|less arrogant]]", "[[Chris and reality|less scientific]]", and "less experienced in life" than the average OkCupid user.

Take that however you like.

===Photos===
<center><gallery>
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 1.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 2.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 3.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 4.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 5.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg
File:LevelUpKing okcupid personality screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[List of OkCupid Answers]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Match.com]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/CWCSONICHU Chris's first OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu Chris's second OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LevelUpKing Chris's third OkCupid profile]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

OkCupid

2014-09-01T08:23:08Z

Toggletogs: /* LevelUpKing Profile */

'''OkCupid''', one of the more popular [[dating]] websites, matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as [[Match.com]], OkCupid allows users to message and search each other for [[Chris and money|free]], only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. Like so many other [[dating profiles|dating websites]] before, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] joined this one with high hopes.
{{TOC limit|2}}

==CWCSONICHU profile==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|OkCupid profile screencap ]]

Chris created his first OkCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it quickly, and he never answered any of the questions or quizzes that the site uses to build a personality profile of each user. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of [[True and Honest]] [[China|love]]. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual [[sex]]."

While mildly entertaining, this profile has been quickly overtaken by the veritable train wreck that is his current profile. After a short time, the profile was hacked by [[troll]]s.

===Profile text===

I am [[Autistic]], Fun, and [[Plagiarism|Creative.]]

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm [[naive|young at heart]]. I'm currently writing a [[comic]] book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit [[Autism|shy]], but I would enjoy the company of [[Boyfriend-free girl|a beautiful girl]] who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from [[Manchester High School|high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I am doing very well at [[PVCC]]. A lot of [[Jerks|men]] make false promises to their girlfriends, but [[List of Chris's lies|I am totally different.]] When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise [[Monthly tugboat|care]], [[Women's Rights|respect]], [[Chris and Death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.

Who I'd like to meet:

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] (both in the state of [[Virginia]]) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''Looking for:''' [[Gal-pal|New friends]], Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, [[PandaHalo|Long-distance penpals]], [[Hanky panky|Casual sex]]

OKCupid has a variety of other fields such as religion, height, race, ect, all of which Chris left blank.

==ChrisCSonichu profile==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, recycled from his adventures as [[The Hook Cafe|direct2sex]].]]

Chris's return to OkCupid started on 4 [[April 2009]] under the name "ChrisCSonichu." This was a much more involved affair than his earlier profile, as Chris updated this profile frequently. These updates slowly changed the page from a badly-written but largely benign profile, into a violently insane, sex-obsessed manifesto about how awesome Chris is, and how hot girls should be having sex with him right now. This slow evolution from stupid and relatively innocent to stupid, filthy and deranged can be found in virtually everything Chris has ever made, but is perhaps most evident in his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

The earliest saved version we have of Chris's page is relatively harmless. Chris makes an ass of himself in two languages, and refers to himself as a creative genius, but on the whole there's nothing too outlandish. This easygoing period would not last.
{{-}}
{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the first version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm [[Pedofork|young at heart]]. I have a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book series]]. I would [[Sex|enjoy the company]] of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from [[high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmong Virginia Community College]] with a Degree and a Certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[Niggos|black]] and single.

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on [[PS3|my projects]] and helping my family.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Chris and art|crafting]], [[The MovingFoward videos|making well-thought decisions]], [[51 50|heavy lifting]] and other things.

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to [[The Creepy Stare|my face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from [[R.L. Stine|R.L. Stein]]; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of [[Chris and music|music]] (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend/Sweetheart]].
 -My [[video games|Video Games]] ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], [[Nintendo|DS and Wii]], and all of my older consoles).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My good [[Chris and health|health]].
 (Not sure about the final two)

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing my "[[Sonichu]]'s Adventures" on [[LittleBiGPlanet]], or [[Guitar Hero]] or the current video game I'm playing.

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy [[Autism|autÃstico altamente funcionales]], y estoy un [[Virgin|virgen]] esperando por mi novia bonita.

''English Translation: I am an Autistic functioning at a high level, and I am a virgin searching for my pretty girlfriend.''

====You should message me if====
You're A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" and F) (the old expression) Boyfriend-Free.
|}
Over the course of several edits, Chris's profile eventually reached its current, horrifying form. All references to childish things, such as [[LittleBigPlanet]] and [[Sonichu]] were removed, and replaced with things Chris thought of as "manly" like [[Guitar Hero]]. The sheer importance that women meet him "[[Rape|in person]]" became more and more emphasized, as well as constant references to how much he needs sex as soon as humanly possible. The legendary [[Third Date]] is completely foregone in favor of Chris getting precious [[China]] on his very first encounter with a woman, and requirements were added demanding that in-person contact must be had no later than two days after the first online contact. Despite his attempts to avoid embarrassing himself with his profile, Chris still misspelled the name of his alma mater, referring to it as "Piedmong Valley Community College".

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the second version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|making well-thought decisions]], [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and [[Speech impediment|easy to converse with]].

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -Sex
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -Sex
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -[[Random Access Humor|Sex LOL]]
 -My good health.
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.

''Note:Chris has recently removed the Sex, Sex, and Sex LOL requirements from this list, replacing them with a single entry for "Food and Water". We have retained them in our version for the sake of completeness.''

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

The only interim change between the first and final versions of this page is Chris's most private thing, where he briefly stated in English that he was an autistic virgin.

{{Quote|I am high-functioning autistic, and I am a virgin; do not be afraid of me nor judge me. I've conquered most of my autistic traits (more of which can be learned on [[wikipedia]] or on autism.org)|Chris, before expunging it from the record entirely.}}

{{-}}

On or around June 12, Chris revisited his OKCupid entry and updated it briefly. Beyond an extra line, Chris added in a new section to the list. [[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet, our ass.]]

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the third version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

I am compassionate, reliable, and honest

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, making well-thought decisions, [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My [[Health|good health]].
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.
 -[[McDonalds|Food]]/[[Coca-Cola|Water]]

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====I'm Looking For====
 * Girls who like guys
 * Ages 21-28
 * Near me
 * Who are single
 * For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

[[File:Dat-thinning.jpeg|thumb|Evidence of Chris' marked decline in health.]]

As of February 2013, Chris's profile has been updated once again. The latest version of his profile now features new references to [[Tomgirl|tomgirlism]] and a considerable de-emphasis on the importance of quick sex. Particularly notable about this update is the addition of a new photo, showing Chris to have a [[Chris and Health|sickly blue complexion]], thinning uncut hair, and worsening [[obesity]]. This apparent decline in health is hardly suprising, considering Chris' sedentary lifestyle and gratuitous consumption of [[McDonald's]].

Also of note is Chris' insistence that all potential dates "IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS", a mantra he has repeated on his [[Facebook]] profile and even in personal correspondence, referring people who wish to know more about him to the [[CWCki]] while simultaneously instructing them to IGNORE ALL DEROGATORY CONTENT. Obviously, Chris has failed to realize the paradoxical effect of preemptively instructing people to ignore anything bad they may read about him, only serving to further interest in his autistic antics.

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the fourth version.
|-
|

====My self-summary====
I am an all-around, [[Toys|emotionally mature]], good natured, high-functioning [[Autism|autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of freak or something. I am a good listener, and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the Original Creator of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of [[Cwcville]], VA. ([[Chris and reality|IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS]])

I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant [[Stress|heartaches]].

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/[[Sweetheart from the ground up|Future Wife from the ground up]]. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding and patient.

ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY; I have had [[Julie|bad]] [[Ivy|online]] [[Jackie|experiences]] numerously from a lot of [[Trolls|fake people]]. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be.

====[[PS3|What I’m doing with my life]]====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my [[Sonichu (comic)|projects]] and helping my family. I also work on my art projects, get some exercise in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
Drawing, writing, crafting, [[28 October 2011|making well-thought decisions]], heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====[[Axe|The first things people usually notice about me]]====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food====
[[Goosebumps]] or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
*(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart.
*My iPhone.
*My creative genius.
*My good health.
*My glasses.
*Food/Water.

====[[Sex|I spend a lot of time thinking about]]====
[[Attraction Sign|How]] and [[Fridays After Five|where]] to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
I am Very Interested in pleasantly livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|Compassionate]] And Passionate.

====I’m looking for====

* Straight girls only
* Ages 25–30
* Near me
* Who are single
* For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON Right Now; Online Communications are OUT. As Well As If You are A) 25-30 years old, B) not [[Niggos|black]] (no personal offense), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) [[Honest Content|Honest]], Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA, H) financially stable ([[Monthly tugboat|I get along fair and surviving]]), and You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc.

|}

{{clear}}
==LevelUpKing Profile==
[[File:LevelUpKing okcupid profile screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg|thumb|Screenshot of profile]]
In July 2014, a [[CWCki Forums]] member found yet another OkCupid profile that Chris created.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/updated-okc-profile.4193</ref>

However, the profile is mostly unused as of September, due to [[mysterious reasons|trolls]].
[[File:TrollsonOKCupid2014.png]]

===About===
'''My self-summary''' 
I'm an empathetic artistic individual with honest emotions. I'm [[List of Chris's lies|genuine]] about how I feel and [[Chris and hypocrisy|I stick to my beliefs]]. I care about those closest to me, especially [[Cole Smithey|my family]]. I have a [[Things Chris has ripped off|big imagination]] and love using it towards my creations. I graduated from PVCC with an associates in Computer Aided Drafting. I try to think outside the box. My sense of [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] matches my personality and how I emotionally feel. Sometimes I'm [[slow-in-the-minds|a little scatterbrained]], so please don't mind me if I jump topics. :)

My hobbies/interests include creating, drawing/coloring, creating with Lego, video games, walking, music, and shopping.

'''What I’m doing with my life''' 
Taking care of my mother and pets.

'''I’m really good at''' 
Anything art related. I'm also pretty good at video games.

'''The first things people usually notice about me''' 
[[Tomgirl Pictures|My fashion. ;)]]

'''Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food''' 
Movies: tied for #1, Mary Poppins and My Little Pony - Equeatria Girls. #2: The Lego Movie. #3: Yellow Submarine. Meet Me In St. Louis, Singin' in the Rain, On the Town, and other musicals.

TV Shows: My Little Pony (all generations), Sonic the Hedgehog, Transformers, Fraiser, Keeping Up Appearances, Daria, Sailor Moon and other anime.

Music: I like most types of music, including Pop, Jazz, Rock and Classic. Artists: Britney Spears, Katy Perry, the Beatles and others.

'''The six things I could never do without''' 
No particular order. My iPhone, Lego collection and creations, video games, my family of mother, 2 beagles and cat, my artworks, my future sweetheart and children (still yet to be determined).

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about''' 
How I can improve my life and future.

'''On a typical Friday night I am''' 
At home, minding my small family, piddling with my Legos, watching a flick, playing a video game or whatever. And definitely Feeling lonely for an eligible woman to be my Sweetheart, closest friend and Future Wife.

'''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|The most private thing I’m willing to admit]]''' 
I have been emotionally hurt a lot before, and I am reasonably paranoid of others, especially online. Which is WHY it is Mandetory for immediate in person meeting with me.

'''I’m looking for''' 
*Girls who like guys
*Ages 23–32
*Near me
*Who are [[Boyfriend-free girl|single]]
*For [[gal pal|new friends]], long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

'''You should message me if''' 
YOU Make the First Move and Ask ME Out, Please. 
And if you are single, caring, compassionate, confident, honest, smoke-free, and you MUST be willing to Meet In Person IMMEDIATELY or ASAP. :)

"My Details"

Orientation: [[Homos|straight]]

Ethnicity: [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White]]

Height: 5`10"(1.78m)

Body type: [[obesity|Average]]

Diet: [[McDonald's|Mostly anything]]

Smokes: No

Drinks: Socially

Drugs: Never

Religion: [[Chris and religion|christianity]], and somewhat serious about it

Sign: Pisces, and it`s fun to think about

Education: graduated from two-year college

Job: other

Income: [[monthly tugboat|-]]

Relationship status: single

Relationship type: [[Vanessa Hudgens|strictly monogamous]]

Offspring: [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|doesn`t have kids but wants them]]

Pets: has cats and has dogs

Speaks: [[Chris and English|english]](fluently), [[Spanish|spanish]](okay)
-----------------------------------
It should be noted that as of this edit (July 9th, 2014), Chris had answered at least 1,333 questions (that's 134 pages).

== He Might Be... ==
The chart OkCupid generated to summarize Chris compares his traits against other members of the site, claiming that he might be "more morally conventional", "[[Chris and religion|more spiritual]]", "[[Chris and art|more artsy]]", "more sloppy", "worse mannered", "[[Chris and sex|less sex driven]]", "[[Barbara Chandler|less independent]]", "[[Chris and remorse|less compassionate]]", "[[Love quest|less experienced in love]]", "[[Chris and his ego|less arrogant]]", "[[Chris and reality|less scientific]]", and "less experienced in life" than the average OkCupid user.

Take that however you like.

===Photos===
<center><gallery>
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 1.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 2.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 3.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 4.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 5.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg
File:LevelUpKing okcupid personality screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[List of OkCupid Answers]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Match.com]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/CWCSONICHU Chris's first OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu Chris's second OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LevelUpKing Chris's third OkCupid profile]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

File:TrollsonOKCupid2014.png

2014-09-01T08:22:34Z

Toggletogs:

Talk:Chris and depression

2014-03-13T06:34:12Z

Toggletogs:

I hate to bum the new user who started this article but I say we delete this. It feels too A-loggy, plus we already have a Chris and Psychology article, and second I'm pretty much against users speculating about Chris's mental state. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 22:43, 12 March 2014 (UTC)

I didn't just sit there and write an article bashing him; at the least I listed multiple reasons for why he would be that way, a quote of him being depressed, and the two bottom parts are just a filler. I didn't create it to bash, I just didn't really notice an article going over it, and the closest to it being would be [[stress]]. I wasn't really going to write a giant article on the spot. And speculation? It's pretty much spot on. --[[User:Toggletogs|Toggletogs]] ([[User talk:Toggletogs|talk]]) 06:34, 13 March 2014 (UTC)

Chris and depression

2014-03-12T18:05:35Z

Toggletogs:

[[File:Lookingdelightfulasever.jpg|thumb|Chris has a tendency to smile in photos.]]

Years of trolling has taken a toll on our beloved [https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Lol-cow lolcow] and [[You_know_what,_I_HATE_ME_TOO!!!|signs of depression]] have set in, along with occasional whining about said depression. There is just something about having things in your life such as the recent [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|house fire]], living in a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|shit shack]] with your mother past the age thirty, years of secretly loathing your existence and being ridiculed for putting up a [[Chris_and_ego|front]], being bombarded constantly by trolls whether he [[Troll%27s_remorse|deserves it or not]], being too [[naive]] to know who is your friend or not in this world, and all kinds of ridiculous casualties that could have been avoided all rolled into about three decades. What kind of human being ''wouldn't'' be depressed?

{{quote|I know nothing. I am lost. My mind is a constant, zombie-like, blank. I am depressed. I am in misery. No one outside my house acknowledges me. There is no true care or love on the internet, or from anyone hiding behind their screens and monitors of any kind. I know nothing. I am lost.|Chris on Facebook 23 December 2013}}

==Is he trying to garner attention?==
Most likely.

==Will he ever recover?==
<nowiki>*shrugs*</nowiki>

Chris and...

2014-03-12T17:09:42Z

Toggletogs:

{{Disambiguation}}__NOTOC__
'''Chris and...''' can refer to his...

===Lifestyle===
*[[Chris and health|Health]]
*[[Chris and religion|Religion]]
*[[Chris and money|Money]]
*[[Chris and sex|Sex]]
*[[Chris and television|Television]]
*[[Chris and fashion|Fashion]]
*[[Chris and brand loyalty|Brand loyalty]]

===Psyche===
*[[Chris and psychology|Psychology]]
*[[Chris and reality|Reality]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy|Hypocrisy]]
*[[Chris and anger|Anger]]
*[[Chris and ego|Ego]]
*[[Chris and remorse|Remorse]]
*[[Chris_and_depression|Depression]]
===People===
*[[Chris and death|Death]]
*[[Chris and race|Race]]
*[[Chris and sexism|Sexism]]
*[[Chris and negotiation|Negotiation]]
*[[Chris and the law|The law]]
*[[Chris and the internet|The internet]]
===Comic===
*[[Chris and art|Art]]
*[[Chris and English|English]]
*[[Chris and writing|Writing]]
*[[Chris and the industry|The industry]]
*[[Chris and copyright|Copyright]]
*[[Chris and censorship|Censorship]]
===Skills===
*[[Chris and cinematography|Camerawork]]
*[[Chris and music|Music]]
*[[Cosplay]]
*[[Spanish]]
*[[Contests]]

{{Chris and}}

User:Toggletogs

2014-03-12T17:04:42Z

Toggletogs: Created page with "Hi. I fix what I see needs to be fixed. I draw what needs to be drawn. {{artfag}}"

Hi. I fix what I see needs to be fixed. I draw what needs to be drawn.

{{artfag}}

Chris and depression

2014-03-12T16:48:05Z

Toggletogs: A stub so far of him feeling his impending doom.

[[File:Lookingdelightfulasever.jpg|thumb|Chris has a tendency to smile in photos.]]

Years of trolling has taken a toll on our beloved [https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Lol-cow lolcow] and signs of depression have set in, along with occasional whining about said depression. There is just something about having things in your life such as the recent [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|house fire]], living in a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|shit shack]] with your mother past the age thirty, years of secretly loathing your existence and being ridiculed for putting up a [[Chris_and_ego|front]], being bombarded constantly by trolls whether he [[Troll%27s_remorse|deserves it or not]], being too [[naive]] to know who is your friend or not in this world, and all kinds of ridiculous casualties that could have been avoided all rolled into about three decades. What kind of human being ''wouldn't'' be depressed?

{{quote|I know nothing. I am lost. My mind is a constant, zombie-like, blank. I am depressed. I am in misery. No one outside my house acknowledges me. There is no true care or love on the internet, or from anyone hiding behind their screens and monitors of any kind. I know nothing. I am lost.|Chris on Facebook 23 December 2013}}

==Is he trying to garner attention?==
Most likely.

==Will he ever recover?==
<nowiki>*shrugs*</nowiki>

File:Lookingdelightfulasever.jpg

2014-03-12T16:13:17Z

Toggletogs: A facebook profile picture from December 2013.

A facebook profile picture from December 2013.

User talk:Toggletogs

2014-03-12T15:56:41Z

Toggletogs:

==Hi.==

Yup.

I draw and shit.

Just here to fix any little problems I may see around here.

{{Artfag}}

User talk:Toggletogs

2014-03-12T15:50:42Z

Toggletogs: Replaced content with "==Hi.== Yup. I draw and shit. Just here to fix any little problems I may see around here."

==Hi.==

Yup.

I draw and shit.

Just here to fix any little problems I may see around here.

List of Love Quest candidates

2014-02-28T17:22:58Z

Toggletogs:

[[Chris]], despite being [[autistic]], lazy, and [[fat]], has had many attractive young ladies thrown themselves upon him to hold the title of being Chris's TRUE and [[HONEST]] '''[[sweetheart]].'''

==How does Chris get so many women?==
Originally, he would make the ladies swoon with his to-the-point signs and his excessive burl but in more recent times his bubbly nature has subsided. For at least a decade he was so desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]," that when a girl threw herself at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life. Until recently, that was what you would expect from him.

==The Women in Chris's Life==

===[[Lori Lopez]]===
An American/Spanish girl who Chris met through [[MySpace]] via [[Joshua Martinez]] in November 2007. Not much is known about these two during their short time together.

===[[Blanca Weiss]]===
A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Things had pretty much went swimmingly between the two until Chris began suspecting something about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
A woman Chris met the same time he was with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]].

===[[PandaHalo]]===
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on Panda. Panda discovered just how desperate he was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

===[[Julie]]===
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing Julie. Through Julie, Chris began doing a number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recording them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Max, Julie's brother, held her against her will, forcing Chris to mount a daring rescue which didn't exactly work. Max would put Chris through the rings, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl, before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]].

===[[Ivy]]===
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing her not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process, even wanting to get married. Sadly, Ivy would break up with Chris after getting into a major clusterfuck with an obvious troll.

===[[Kacey]]===
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named Kacey, he attempted to win her over, the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey would later break with Chris and be happily married to Liquid.

==Fictional Sweethearts==

===[[Chloe]]===
A possible codename for PandaHalo. When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named Chloe, whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again.

==Sweethearts of Dubious Origins==
{{Sweethearts}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Chris and sex

2014-02-28T16:57:33Z

Toggletogs:

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong—Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his sex dolls [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his [[Duck|broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms—either medical or slang—for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "Tom-Tom".

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]).

===Chris and gender===
Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass Debating|masturbatorily]].<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). A blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no apparent [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before his alleged 'losing of virginity' incident.]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in general in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage - something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still desperately needs the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, [[Patti-chan|Patti]]!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female (because he's not a homo) dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLNUncC6Nm8&list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw&index=6&feature=plpp_video</ref>

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still [[Mass debate|debated]].<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion abound that this was due to the help of a hooker ([[List of Chris's Lies|presuming Chris's story is true]]). Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationship were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible.<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has an extremely poor understanding of the effects of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde]], Chris reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom Chris called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, Chris would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], Chris doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. During a particularly [[IRC_(23_July_2009)|disturbing chat]], Chris (incognito) suggested that the trolls make him rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. Though it's likely he did this as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested (never mind the fact that Chris would end up in worse trouble if he actually committed the crime), it's still pretty ''fucked up'' that he'd even suggest something like this (but then again, when has Chris ever actually [[Autism|thought out his plans before carrying them out]] to begin with?)

Misguided people think Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies, but with his warped view of romance and his [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]], this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> Similar to his [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], the only outcome of Chris attempting rape at all is a swift knee to the [[pickle]] and a rousing game of [[Kick the Autistic]].

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

File:Female anatomy according to chris.png

2014-02-28T16:52:39Z

Toggletogs: Based on how he handled his blow up dolls and draw his characters, we can only assume this is what he sees.

Based on how he handled his blow up dolls and draw his characters, we can only assume this is what he sees.

Muscle bra

2014-02-28T16:44:17Z

Toggletogs: