CWCki - User contributions [en]

05142010

2010-05-18T03:13:26Z

Toughdog6789:

{{Rename}}

'''05142010''' is a 15 [[May 2010]] video where [[Chris]] bores his [[fanbase]] by discussing the [http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/05/sports/05lacrosse.html Yeardley Love murder case]. Love attended the [[University of Virginia]] located in [[Charlottesville]], which seems to be the only reason why Chris knows or cares about her.

In the past, Chris has stated that he's willfully ignorant of current events (in one of his [[IRC (22 December 2008)|IRC fan chats]], he explained that he hates "bad news") and hearing him discuss something of national interest is a rarity. After this, he goes on to blame the [[trolls]] and [[autism]] for his problems with females.

In this video, a new shirt emerges which seems to say "I got what I deserve." However the last word is partially illegible due to it being stuck between his ever-expanding rolls of stomach [[obesity|fat]] and his man tits.

Also of note in this video is the shocking realization that "women will not fall into [his] lap"-- an event which he has counted on happening for years. Confirmation that Chris is getting outside help? <s>Maybe.</s> Probably not.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 05142010
| video = {{#ev:youtube|IThZIRAMNbc}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Autism|Life}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100_2178]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcript==

[''A loud fan is humming in the background.'']

[[Captain's log]], the 14th of, uh May, 2010. [''adjusts his glasses''] I would like to take this, uh, brief moment to... talk about, uh, a loca- local... recent events. Like, uh, yeah, I understand... recen- I understand recently that there was a girl who was, uh, murdered at UVA by her ex-boyfriend. She was on the lacrosse team. [''glasses removal''] It was very sad... for a- for a woman. He just kicked the door in and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|banged her head against the wall]], and totally ruined her right side and- right side of her head. She died from that.

And then she- and then he [[Chris and English|tooked]] her computer, 'cause apparently there was some... there was an email on there that he sent her. And he didn't want that to get out. Sure it got out by now. [''pause''] That's very sad. I h- and I, uh, hope that- I hope that, if they haven't done so already, that the lacrosse team for UV- for UVA... wins, in memory of that- in memory of that girl.

And yeah, it was not an accident. He- as, as so that the, uh, dude claims to say as it was. 'Cause if he had not- if he had no intention of killing her, he would- he would not have banged her against the wall. No accident. He should get a whole- he should get [[Chris and the Law|like 20 years in jail. That's what he deserves for that.]] He deserves jail time and hard time... banging rocks, making license plates. So he can repay... [[Monthly tugboat|debt to society]] for... the ''shock'' from this girl's murder.

And also, uh... yeah, uh, also the other events around the world, uh... yeah, slip my mind right now, but... I am- well, I do watch the news. And, uh, when I have a thought about a recent event I feel is of, uh... good tal- of, uh, worth my talkin' about, then I will. I will record it, and I will... talk about it.

And also, yeah. [[Autism]] another- a little mention about that from my point of view. Uh, ap- apparently, uh, not- not just- uh, the fact that we are unable to soc- unable to socialize... but at least from my point of view, uh... in a crowded- in a crowded event or section, very crowded, where it's not easy for me to [[Chris and his ego|get much attention]]... I- I just wa- I just likely tend to freeze up vocally. I, uh, I can pretty much, uh, do [[Chris Loses It|body language]] fair enough, but it's like... can't get a word out... of my throat. Even, not even so much as a hello.

[''puts his fist to his forehead, apparently [[stress]]ed'']

[[Lie|I am not a bad man]]. I am not- have no... [[Chris and rape|intention]]- uh, anything [[Chris and anger|negative]] of [[Death threats|that sort]]. I'm just ver- I'm just... damn [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shy]] from the autism. Freezing me up. And I am working on that. I just... need he- I just need help from... my-- I just need help from my fr- from my [[Megan|''real'' friends]], [[Clyde Cash|real people]]... 'Cause I can't just expect... women that fall into my lap like that. I mean, if was that easy, then- if it was that easy, then... at this point, especially over the Internet... [[Blanca|Definitely]] [[PandaHalo|be]] [[Julie|an]] [[Ivy|action]] [[Kacey|of]] [[Vanessa Hudgens|a]] [[Sydney Contacts|troll]], so... I can tell- I can tell the difference right there.

Made me [[Virginia is for Virgins|paranoid]]... you did... damn trolls.

[''puts his glasses back on''] Leave you all with that for today, and, uhh... wait 'til another day when I have another thought about recent events. [''flashes the victory sign, then reaches to turn off the camera''] Have a good day.

==References==
<references />

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2178]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2010-05-15]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Aspergers (CWCipedia article)

2010-04-22T14:32:32Z

Toughdog6789:

[[Image:Autisticrace.jpg|thumb|"VICTORY OVER AUTISM BELONGS ONLY TO US TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE."]]
[[Image:cwcpergers.jpg|thumb|CWC with aspergers.]]

On 4 [[December 2009]], Chris uploaded a screed about '''Asperger's syndrome''' to his [[CWCipedia]]. Similar to his irrational hatred for Harry Potter, Chris's distaste for [[Asperger's]] is based not on reason but on his misconception that it is somehow competing with his precious crutch of autism. Chris has established an unwaverable brand loyalty, and he'll be damned if he gives any ground to this diabolical "competitor". It would be shocking, if not for the fact that this is typical [[Christian Weston Chandler]].

Chris has long suggested that somehow his form of autism is more special and worthy of pity than the forms of autism other people have. He'd never really given much of a reason as to [[Chris and his ego|why he felt this way]], though he started getting pressed heavily on the subject in several letters he received through his [[mailbag]]. When trying to explain why autism is completely different than Asperger's syndrome, he would cite sources that actually went against his suppositions. When people pointed that out, he finally decided to vomit a hateful essay all over his site that suggested, among other things, that he "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People", that he was one of the most successful autistic people of all time, that those afflicted with Asperger's syndrome are [[CChanSonichuCWC|"impostors"]] that are hogging the "limelight" from [[Kick the Autistic|autistics]]. He also acts as if the fact that the name can sound like "ass-burgers" or "ass-boogers" ("Most Terrible Cut of Meat from any Animal; even something that can be picked nasally") is more proof that the classification of Asperger's as a type of autism is flawed (as if poor Hans's last name were his fault). Chris misses the irony that ass meat is exactly what he eats every time he drives to [[McDonald's]].

==Article==

'''Christian Weston Chandler's Opinion on the Autisim/Aspergers Comparison.'''

December 4, 2009

Good day, I, Christian Weston Chandler, [[Chris and health#Mental health|of sound mind and body,]] type the following from honest personal opinions, and I apologize for all offensive remarks I will be making in the statement.

Aspergers is Nothing At All Like Autism. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.

Firstly, I can verify that I was diagnosed with Autism with papers in my parents' filing cabinets. And more current and immediate within my reach, I have the papers from my [[Autism papers|most recent Psychiatric Evaluation on November 5, 2004 with '''Dr. Zachariah C. Dameron, III, M.D.''']] She reverifies my Autisim in this, and I quote, "Mr. Chandler is a 22-year-old man with a history of developmental delays and '''autism'''. Despite these limitations, he semms to have been quite successful in maximizing his academic abilities. Despite his significant delays in language, he has over the years developed relatively affective communication skills."

And with that, I have not only Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People, but I have gone beyond the Autistic Dreams academically, communicatively and socially. Still, I have trouble maintaining Eye-Contact, my mentality is sometimes slow yet quick at other times. The people who first evaluated me ever even stated that I would never even make it to [[Manchester High School|High School]], much less even '''Write His Name'''. Take That and Smoke It, oldest doctors. I have worked very hard to achieve and maintain [[Honor roll|Honor Roll]] throughout Middle and High School, and even to make the [[PVCC]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|Dean's List]], and fulfill my parents' wishes to work for and earn the [[CADD|Degree and Certificate for Computer Aided Drafting and Design]].

And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us. I have received a message from one who DARED called me "Normal" in comparison to him. IF ANYTHING, the Asperger people ARE and HAVE BEEN NORMAL. They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such. THOSE Characteristics can be FAKED by them who are MOST NORMAL compared to us TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.

Even their Title is flawed, "Aspergers"; it can be misconstrued into a Most Terrible Cut of Meat from any Animal; even something that can be picked nasally.

I have fought Long and Hard to make a Stand for the Autistic People; I will most certainly NOT let these impostors Steal the True Original Title of Autistic from any of us.

VICTORY OVER AUTISM BELONGS ONLY TO US TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:16, 5 December 2009 (CET)

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Aspergers}}

* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Mailbag]]
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]
[[Category:Historical_Documents]]
[[Category:Mailbag]]
[[Category:Pages_with_HONEST_Content]]

File:Cwcpergers.jpg

2010-04-22T14:30:37Z

Toughdog6789:

Nsfw

2010-04-22T13:55:44Z

Toughdog6789: Redirected page to For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV

#REDIRECT [[For_J-R%27s_Eyes_Only.MOV]]

Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)

2010-04-19T03:21:46Z

Toughdog6789: /* tl;dr */

On 18 [[April 2010]], Chris created a page on the [[CWCipedia]] detailing many of the girls he's known, (or believed he knew) over his lifetime.

This list offers yet another disturbing look into Chris's deeply fucked-up mind. While most people on the internet avoid revealing their own personal information, Chris has apparently ran out of things he hasn't told about himself, and is now revealing the secrets of others. The fact that he's doing this post-[[Wallflower]] is surprising, considering that she broke off all ties with him because he leaked her information to the internet. The only explanation that currently exists for this recent action is that Chris is either an idiot or an asshole. Possibly both.

The list contains a mixture of real people and trolls, and is apparently in chronological order since he met them. Oddly, he includes one of his grade-school teachers on a list that is otherwise 100% people Chris wanted to bang. Notable exceptions include troll heroine [[Vivian Gee]] whom Chris has repeatedly claimed is a gal-pal, and the [[Hambeast|obese girl]] Chris went out with once. [[Rocky Shoemaker]] is also nowhere to be seen, which is unusual considering the inclusion of Mrs. Virginia Sanford, and the [[IRC (23 July 2009)|fact that he wanted to rape her]]. Another notable omission is [[Blanca Weiss]], whom Chris has finally identified as a troll.

==Page text==
I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime. They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations. I am here to set the records straight.

==How Do I Get and Know So Many Women?==
**A Major Reason I have had more women friends then males, is mostly due to the Medically Found Fact (which was found early in my life) that I get along better with Females than with Males.
 -I am naturally attracted to women, Pure and Simple.
 -In my view, women are more sweet, understanding and honest than most men are.
 -After they get to know me in person, women tend to like me much more.
 -I Am Good Looking.

==The Women in my Life==

===[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] (Spicer)===

My first female friend, and my childhood Best Friend, Sarah was and still is a very nice and sweet girl. She has affected me with positive encouragement in my life. Although I have lost touch with her since she married her husband, William, I will never forget her as the friend I have had longest in my lifetime.

===Tiffany Robinson===

My First Crush; she was a very pretty girl back in my Green County School days. We would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days.

===Mrs. [[Virginia Sanford]]===

She was the most influential teacher in my life. During my years at Providence Middle School, she taught me better social skills, how to better cope with other people, bullies and life. With a positive and fun tomboyish attitude, she was a teacher any child would be most proud to look up to and be taught by.

===Natasha Turner===

Another girl, slightly older than me, who I felt fond of. I did not meet her until my Providence Middle days. We were next-door neighbors for a while. She hung out with me at the nearby School Bus Stop. She was a good girl.

===Laura Beth Dorazio===

I did not meet her until my Freshman Year at Manchester High (she was a Cheerleader then); she was two grades ahead of me, and apparently she went to Providence Middle and was in the same class as me during my time, but she advanced to High School about 7th Grade. She was a pretty girl; I had a crush on her that one year.

===[[Kellie Lyn Andes]]===

Kellie was my High School Sweetheart (in my point of view). She was a pretty, sweet and smart girl in my class. We shared a number of classes together. After graduation, I kept touch with her for a while, then that touch got lost. Last I heard from a possibly hers MySpace page, she later got married and now has three children. If I could go back, I would date her and then some. I HAD TO BE NAIVE ON THE DATING SUBJECT BACK THEN!!!

===[[Tiffany Nicole Gowen]]===

She was a good girl and a good friend to me back in Manchester High. We shared a few classes, and sat at the same lunch table one year or two. She had a spot of a tomboy in her, and reminded me of Peppermint Patty. She danced with me at the Seinor Prom, and I look forward to returning the favor at the Class Reunion.

===Sarah Anne Bevel===

Another good girl of my class; shared classes and a lunch table. Not a moment flew by where I did not see her with her M.H.S. Sweetheart, Brian Smart (Lucky Dude). Last I heard, they broke up years ago now.

===Molly Quarles===

She was funny, sweet and possibly a bit quirky. We shared a few classes, and she was a cheerleader the same year as Laura Beth Dorazio during my Freshman Year, yet Molly was a Freshman too back then. Two years in a dating match-up thing they had every Valentines Day at M.H.S., I got matched up with Molly. The ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then.

===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===

A pretty girl, and was a big brain of my Circle of Friends. We shared a few classes; she was in my Class as well. She helped me in the early days of my Website Days by redesigning the "CWC's Pok'eSite 2!" Logo; she did a great job.

===[[Anna McLerran]]===

I met Anna while she was working at a PacSun in Fashion Square during my young adult years and the early days of my Sweetheart Search. She was a good and honest woman. It made me sad when much later she and her family moved to Utah. I later learned she was a Lesbian, and I do not hold that against her at all.

===[[Megan Schroeder]]===

She and I were good friends for years when I was going to the Pok'emon TCG League and the Yu-Gi-Oh Tournaments. I was hoping she and I would become Sweethearts, but I got too close; freaked her out a bit and eventually lost her. I still miss her sometimes.

===[[Sarah Jackson]]===

About during the time I was having an online relationship with one Blanca Weiss (Later learned she was a Troll), I met Sarah Jackson online. She was a good woman with sound advice and wisdom. She respected and understood me. Unfortunately, she got into an automobile accident and passed on.

===[[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]], A.K.A. PandaHalo===

She was a true and good Sonichu Girl (Fan); in further conversations long after I ended it with "Blanca", Sarah and I established an online relationship, and it was good. Sadly, she would get raped by the troll, "Clyde Cash" and stolen from me with their fated child. For over a year, I had thought she fell victim of the Australian Bushfires of Janurary, 2009, and I mourned over her and kept her in my heart. I recently learned that she was still alive, married to Clyde and with healthy child. Even though my memorial dedications were apparently a loss, I wish Sarah and Clyde many happy years in their marriage.

===[[Ivy O'Neil]]===

Another online romance, but better... with Telephone Conversations. Ivy and I were entwined within our relationship for about 3 months; it was good. Then later on, when I was talking to a detective on the case of finding my Trolls and seeing justice done unto them, he looked into Ivy and her family; found NOTHING on them, even her father who was a Police Officer. Then in a mental quandary and confusion, I stopped talking to Ivy for a few months. She called me one last time after the time; I still felt confused. Then I hear from Vivian that Ivy committed suicide by hanging.

===[[Kacey Devoria]]===

As I was in the online combat for my own identity against the Brown-Stripe-Wearing "Christian Chandler", I found my way into his e-mail account. There I found the e-mail of his girlfriend, Kacey. I felt I had to warn her about "Christian" lying to her about who he was. It got complicated as I pretended to be him, so I could show Kacey my face, the Real Face of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] of Ruckersville, VA, and Original Creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. Eventually, we would be good friends. Then with more complications, and "Christian"'s charm, she dumped me as a friend and got married to him. At least she has MET and was FRIENDS with the Real [[Christian Weston Chandler]].

===[[The Wallflower]]===

She and I had met in person at a Local Event in Charlottesville, VA. We started going out and were getting along together. We had plans on writing on a book together. But I made a huge honest mistake. To begin a small hype with the fans of her online FanFictions about our "Guardian of the Owl Kingdom", I started work on a level for LittleBiGPlanet. I uploaded a Foretaste Version of the level, stating that it was a "Chris Chan/Damien Anteria Production". Being Well-Aware of the Online Safety, I had thought she would be safe with me using her Pen Name; I HAD NEVER USED HER REAL NAME. But then my Trolls searched and found HER Facebook Page. The Trolls made a mockery page on their website about her; started harassing her and her family by pretending to be me on the telephone. Heather broke up our friendship, flat-out. If she did not have a Facebook Page, she would have been safe. But I have learned from my mistakes there.

''Chris used The Wallflower's real name as the title of this section. We have changed it to "The Wallflower" as she has requested that we not reveal her identity.''

==tl;dr==

Chris is a <s>sick fuck</s> stalker.

==External links==
[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Gal-Pals_and_Past_Sweethearts The page]

Bunny Hop

2010-04-04T18:22:52Z

Toughdog6789: /* Video */

'''Bunny Hop''' is a video by [[Christian]], shot on Easter [[2009]]. It shows [[Chris]] pretending to be a bunny with a [[Chris and race#Asians|stereotypical Japanese accent]], and doing a [[Retard|retarded]] dance.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Bunny Hop
| image = {{#ev:youtube|VPX7zS23n0U}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Saga = [[Image:Ivy_saga.png]] [[Ivy]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Redstripeshirt.png]] Red Stripe
| previous = [[The Return of Kimmi]]
| next = [[A CWC Audition]]
}}

===Transcript===

[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|A formative experience.]]

(Voice Over: "Pyoonn pyoonn pyoonn! For [[Crass and Champ|Crass and]] [[User:Champthom|Champ]]! Pyoonnnn pyoonnnn pyoonnnn!")

''[Chris is seen holding a pair of pipe cleaners behind his head to represent rabbit ears. He squats down to place his PS3 controller on the ground and gets back up.]''

''[attempting a kind of English accent]'' Hoppy Easter! Ivyyyyy! Crass and... Champ! Mmmm... Hoppy Easter!

''[Begins hopping around, doing a [[Fail|god-awful]] rendition of "Bunny Hop", a children's song, flailing his arms and wiggling around]''

''[Around 0:44 Chris attempts to continue the song using kissing noises]''

hhhooooooooooo-ppy Easter! Hoppy Easter! Mmm...[[Sex|we'regonnahavefun!]] ''[One of his "ears" falls off, and Chris reaches down to pick it up, he makes another unintelligible sound, and the video abruptly ends.]''
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[The Return of Kimmi]]|nextlink=[[A CWC Audition]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2010-04-02T21:52:52Z

Toughdog6789: /* Questions and Answers */ FUCK, LEARN FUCKING GRAMMAR, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!

==Introduction==

New people are being initiated to the horrors of the world of [[Chris-chan]] every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran Miscreant might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Questions and Answers==

; Is Chris a troll?
: No; the documentation on his entire life and testimony by real life people (including Chris [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile|himself]]) including [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|media reports]] [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|predating the Internet]] and no fewer than two [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|independent]] [[University_of_Virginia#UVA_student_on_Chris|accounts]] are way too complete for it to be an elaborate reverse-troll setup. If Chris is indeed faking this, somehow managing to fabricate an entire past, create [[Slideshow|hundreds of photos from his past]], control the media, get a huge number of people in on this, then he is the greatest troll and avant garde artist in history. However, Occam's Razor would suggest that Chris is just REALLY STUPID and really believes the things he does and does stupid things for reasons he believes are logically sound.

; Why doesn't he just get a prostitute?
: He wants [[love quest|TRUE and HONEST love]]. Prostitutes are expensive, and he wants a mothering companion. When prostitutes were sent to his house, Chris cried. Chris in [[Mumble 4]] said that he wouldn't hire a hooker out of fear of STDs. Though truth be told, Chris is cheap and odds are he'd find a crack whore too expensive. As to illustrate this point: it was discovered that he DID try to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, but tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref>.

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: We don't do it because he's autistic, but rather because he's a [[Niggos|racist]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]] and [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Bagget|spitefully]] [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]] [[Parody|thief]] and an all-around [[fail|failure]] who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. Furthermore, he's someone who realizes he has a problem and what he does doesn't work but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well meaning individuals]].

; Can he be helped? Should I try?
: [[Vivitheg|People]] who are [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried and have accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[white knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, you won't be able to do it. Seriously, consider [[Svenka]] - she posted pictures of the very [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] that would steal Chris's date, [[Emily]], months in advance of the plan yet Chris still fell for it.

:For recorded attempts to help Chris, see [[White knight emails]].

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Chris is seeing a church counselor. He refuses to get professional help because of money and because he thinks God, Jesus, and his church will him pull through [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|much better]].

; Is he really autistic?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. Some argue that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, please note that high-functioning autism is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Is he retarded?
: Socially retarded, yes, mentally retarded, not quite. He somehow managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, self-serving one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working, yet he chooses to pin the blame on external forces or goes about his way anyways. The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he is just really, really stupid.

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He's certainly into women and [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] while thinking about women; on the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, makes a practice of meditating upon [[Sailor Moon]] in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen every time he masturbates]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness.

; Is he a furry?
: Definite maybe. He states that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry]]</ref>, though he admits to being turned on by [[Rosechu]] (not as much as a human female, natch), has drawn [[Rule 34]] artwork of his characters, and has depicted himself as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] having sex with a furry version of his ex-[[sweetheart]] [[Ivy]]. He is a furry in the sense that he clearly derives enjoyment from sexualized anthropomorphic animal characters, and personally identifies with a particular anthro character; he is not a furry in the sense that he does not participate in the wider furfag community. Lucky bastards.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: Probably not, but it's fun to imply otherwise. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. However, given that he [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|stares at a poster with a six year old anime girl on it to stay straight]], the fact that he got [[CWC's Second Message|furious]] when accused of being a pedophile (similarly to how he becomes hostile when being accused of being a [[homo]]), and the fact that [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were originally jailbait engaging in sexual activity (and even by current [[Sonichu canon]], Rosechu was underage when she married Sonichu), there's an argument to be made. He also has stated he would like to lower his state's legal age of consent to 16, but this is more likely due to his inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia. In short, he's not a baby fucker but he'll play ball if grass is on the field.

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the homeless person stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with [[Sonic]], anyway?
: He has always liked kids games, and has won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on Sonic titles. Sonic appears to have certain qualities that attract autistic people more than other titles such as Mario.

; What's the deal with the shirts he always wears?
: Chris buys his [[shirt]]s from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist_warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug use. As far as [[Alcohol|drinking]] is concerned, Chris used to be against it as well, but in an ironic twist, video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]] tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] recently surfaced, and it appears he's [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the alcohol ban]] in [[CWCville]], making him a waffler. Given this was self-serving, it should surprise no one.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: Post it on PVCC or /cwc/. The trolls closest to Chris do look at these and do read these boards for suggestions. Just don't suggest something stupid like [[Krapple|dig up Patty's corpse]].

; Why doesn't Chris just lie and tell us he isn't a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] anymore?
: Because he's fucking stupid and besides, we'd see through it like all his other [[lies]].

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8]]?
: [[Sonichu_8#The_uncensored_scenes|Here]], you sick fuck.

; Was [[Ivy]] imaginary?
: No.

; I'm a complete twerp, and I keep reading on [[ED]] and [[YouTube]] that [[Ivy]] is his sex doll. Is this so?
: No. His sex dolls are [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. [[Kimmi]] has acted as a prop representing Ivy in some videos - hence the confusion - but Ivy is most definitely real and was in contact with Chris. Disregard anything you read on either ED or YouTube. The [[CWCki]] is the only TRUE and HONEST source for Chris-related material.

; I want to email Chris and pretend to be Megan/Jimmy Hill. Can I have his email?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. But srlsly, Chris doesn't read his e-mails.

; What's this about Chris hating Harry Potter?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris pretty much hated it since it was "competition" for Pokemon.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sychophant Squad (SASS), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This may be the only recorded example of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: Chris's current [[YouTube]] channel is [http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristianWChandler ChristianWChandler]. Chris's [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original web site]] is dead, but he's rebuilding his brand new site from ground-up at [[CWCipedia]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page]. This is also where the latest and (in some sense) greatest Sonichu comics get uploaded.

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through mail and supposedly filters out troll letters. His parents do likewise, though they sometimes read the content but disregard it as something they already know. If you think writing a hand written letter to Chris or his parents will somehow force him to read it and convince him to change the errors of his ways (or doing something lulzy), you are out of luck.

: Likewise, with Chris's phone, generally they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call, or Bob will pick up the phone and keep track of who calls for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cell phone unless it's someone he knows.

: But if you insist, you can find them on the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia].

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]] of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the email correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [[/cwc/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (Not quite as reliable.)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2

2010-03-26T05:34:04Z

Toughdog6789: /* Transcript */

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2''' is the second of the calls between Chris and Alec Benson Leary, which took place on 28 January 2010.

==Summary==
[[Image:DeadpoolYellowBoxes.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Alec lets Chris ramble on about the ads on the [[CWCipedia]] again before the topic changes to subjects that make Chris feel uncomfortable in his [[Mailbag]]. On the subject of Rosechu's gender and pointed tail, Chris attempts to get Alec to believe he meant for the original Raichu's tail to be dull all along and becomes angry when Alec points out that he is lying.

Chris goes on to discuss how he feels that [[Asperchu]] is a [[Chris and reality|living, breathing creature in another universe with thoughts and feelings who wouldn't want to be named Asperchu.]] Alec claims that Asperchu is unable to have a desire to be named something else because Asperchu doesn't exist, and Chris responds by repeatedly calling him "[[naïve]]" for not believing in a cartoon world similar to what's seen in the movie ''Who Framed Roger Rabbit''.

They both agree to disagree, then move on to the lack of updates in [[Sonichu]]. Chris blames his [[biological clock]] for his inability to upload new pages and explains how the creative process of his work requires a pain-staking 30 minutes of typing dialogue. Chris admits to using Photoshop, but says that since his comics are hand-drawn and hand-colored, in his opinion (and also his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s, apparently) Sonichu is the superior comic of the two. Alec points out that he draws his comics by hand, even if it's with a tablet, and that his art shouldn't and doesn't have any less "personality" than Chris's shit work.

Chris returns to complaining about the CWCipedia adspace, hinting that the only real reason he's negotiating with Alec at all is to get the Asperpedia ads removed. Alec brings up [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]], and Chris denies [[Simonla]] was ever inspired by Simonchu. When Alec explains that Evan wants Simonchu and Simonla written out of the comic, and that Evan may consider taking legal action, Chris replies with "I'll think about it". Unsurprisingly, Evan did take [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Closed (For Good) Due To Theft|legal action]].
{{Clear}}

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2
| image = {{#ev:youtube|LGB99JTZJes}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 28 January 2010
| Maker = [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Fanartn.PNG‎]] Fan Art
| Performance Style = {{reason}} Reason
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| Other = {{Leaked}} Leaked
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]]
}} </center>

[[Image:comparison.jpg|thumb|He might have a point here]]
===Transcript===

 '''Chris''': Hello?

 '''Alec''': Hi, is this uh, is this Chris?

 '''Chris''': Yeah, this is Christian Chandler, may I help you?

 '''Alec''': Hey Chris, this is Alec Benson Leary again, how are you?

 '''Chris''': Oh! I would have expected you to call at 9:30, uh, but anyway...

 '''Alec''': Oh! I actually did try to call at 9:30, didn't get an answer so I thought I'd try again, you-your quite a difficult man to get a hold of, Chris. 

 '''Chris''': Hmm... Yeah, I can talk for a few minutes, so let's try not to belabor this conversation.

 '''Alec''': Not at all, I don't..I don't wanna drag anything out. Um, well first I'll ask you if you have anything, uh, specific that you want to bring up, cause I know that you had to go kinda abruptly last time, and I thought maybe that there was a point you didn't get to or anything.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Okay... Wanna go ahead with that?

 '''Chris''': Umm... well first off, you know...you know I have, um...I have gone to the CWCikipedia recently, its the Ads are still super-sized, but, they are more of a mockery towards me now, and I do not appreciate that.

 '''Alec''': Yeeeaaah, I'm sorry about that, Mao is kinda, he got a little bit of a temper, you know, h-he-he is kinda mad about this whole... the mailbag situation, emails getting deleted and all that sort of thing. You know, I-I-I um, I saw in, uh, one of your mailbags, that you said that I delete, or uh, modify a lot of my emails. I don't know where you got that impression, actually, I don't do that. You know, I try to answer every email I get thoughtfully, and fully.

 '''Chris''': Well, that's probably easy for you....probably easier for you because, yours are not as.. mean and cruel and condescending as the ones I have been getting.

 '''Alec''': Have you been getting a lot of mean ones that have not been go into the mailbag? Cause, the ones I've see... a lot of them, well they do get critical at points, but I... I dunno, it seems like they been, they just kinda wanna, you know, have some questions answered.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, But I wish they wouldn't have'ta go so critical.

 '''Alec''': Like, uh, what do you mean, like uh, what are some of the things that you found just kinda crossed the line?

 '''Chris''': Like-Like they talk about... Like they talk about copyright issues and crap...

 '''Alec''': [Trying to talk] Well that is..that is kinda of an important issue, I mean....

 '''Chris''': [Chris interrupts] BUT-but I have my own Copyright registration, that slip of paper I got from the Virginia Library of Congress...

 '''Alec''': Yeah, uh, I noticed one of the copyright related e-mails was um, someone asked if they could see, just some letter, or some evidence Sega or Nintendo gave you, uh, permission to go with Sonic and Pikachu, and that kinda stuff for Sonichu's origin story. Um, you know, if you provided those, that would silence those kind of e-mails right away.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': I mean, you do have copyright of Sonichu, but you would still need to show Nintendos permission to publish it, you know what I mean?

 '''Chris''': Hmm...

 '''Alec''': 'Cause it has Pikachu in the origin story.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah, I think that would be a good idea to show everyone in the mailbag, you know, that would shut up that line of questioning right away.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, but there's... also... the homosexuals, and uh, other topics, ugh, I can't remember them off the top of my head. Yeah, there's quite a few.

 '''Alec''': Like the accusations that Rosechu is a boy? I think, that was kind of a big thing-

 '''Chris''': Yeah-

 '''Alec''': People were going after-

 '''Chris''': But I, I mean, yeah, that's only before the rainbow strike, I mean, the point where that Raichu- female Raichu is within the rainbow, that would be after the rainbow strikes that Raichu. 

 '''Alec''': Hmm.

 '''Chris''': And with the power of the- with the power of the Chaotic Crystals.

 '''Alec''': Well you know-

 '''Chris''': I-it was with a point, it was as point to the end of that tail, in the two panels that preceded it, the tail was definitely dull at the end.

 '''Alec''': Uhh, well, you know, the- as far as I know, the original comic does have a point tail, like a male has, and that's- that's still on your website, isn't it?

 '''Chris''': I-

 '''Alec''': You know, one thing I thought about was the gender differences in the pokemon, that didn't, Nintendo didn't do that until a while after you created it, Sonichu, right? So, I mean, I just don't get why you didn't go with that. That would've been a good explanation, but instead you kinda lied to your fans.

 '''Chris''': What do you mean, lied? I did not lie, I mean, you look at the two pictures before the rainbow hit, the tail is dull on the tip.

 '''Alec''': Oh, well, I see that in your picture that's on the front of the CWCipedia, but on the original comic he had a pointy tail, or she, I mean.

 '''Chris''': The original- 

 '''Alec''': I've seen the original.

 '''Chris''': That's because- look, outside, that's just a line that is going outside of the square, whatever goes outside, does not necessarily count.

 '''Alec''': Uh, it doesn't look like it goes, like, outside the panel here, but... I mean, y'know... I don't really know. I know that you don't... you probably should have corrected that mistake, but you left it in. I mean, I'm just trying to- I mean, I just kinda wish that thing had gotten nipped in the bud. It kinda sucks, but this is like, a huge point of contention right now.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Al-also, you know, another thing, I've actually found, I've actually found a forum of my loyal fans, and I have just read some posts about the ads that have been placed in the CWCipedia, and they really don't like 'em either.

 '''Alec''': Hmm.

 '''Chris''': So, I'm not alone in that. 

 '''Alec''': Well, alright. Well... you know, uh... if they wanted to buy the ad-space that's, I'm sure they could too. I mean, again, y'know, the ads, I'm gonna keep trying to talk to Mao but it's really his area. Mao's kind of the boss of the ads, I'm just kind of the artistic genius. Mao does the business work. 

 '''Chris''': Yeah, that definitely do not appreciate that- that drawing of me, in a diaper, and then just copying and pasting my signature to that. That's just wrong.

 '''Alec''': Well, you know, um, I noticed that even after our last talk you continued referring Asperchu as Mitch. I thought we had that cleared away. I thought you knew he was Asperchu, I mean Asperchu is my original creation.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, maybe so, but still-

 '''Alec''': And I think you still have the impression that Asperchu is a Sonichu, and you know that's not true, right? Asperchu is not a Sonichu.

 '''Chris''': Hmm, yeah, okay, but still think about this, y-y-y-you picked- you gave him the condition of Aspergers.

 '''Alec''': Yes, that's correct. Oh! That's another thing. I think you, I think you thought that I gave everyone that appeared on my comic Aspergers, but only Asperchu has it. Just Asperchu.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] Well-

 '''Alec''': Okay, you were gonna say something?

 '''Chris''': A-anyway, still, I think you could understand, since you have Aspergers and conservely, with my Autism, that we would pref- we don't really don't wanna be treated as sep- as treated as quote-unquote, "special" because of our mental conditions, we want to be treated as equal individuals.

 '''Alec''': [over Chris] Well that's certainly true, but how do you think I've been portraying Asperchu as being treated y'know different?

 '''Chris''': Try putting yourself in the shoes of your- of your Asperchu. If- if you, I mean, not only would you want to be treated as an individual equal, but-

 '''Alec''': That's how I portray him, he does everything normal people do.

 '''Chris''': But you would not want a name that empathizes the mental condition, you want a name that is more manly-

 '''Alec''': Well y'know, Chris, we don't choose our names. Our names are given to us. Asperchu never chose his name. I mean, think of it this way, the name Asperchu, if you think of that as a detriment -- I don't, but if you interpret the comic that way -- think of it as a personal, sort of, character flaw, if you will, that he has to work to overcome. All good characters have character flaws.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, I mean-

 '''Alec''': And, and, it's fiction. Sometimes characters don't always live the happiest lives in fiction, but that's part of what makes good fiction.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Hmm, yeah, but still, think about it, what if your parents had named you Asper?

 '''Alec''': Uhh...

 '''Chris''': Just to foretell that you had Aspergers, that you would have Aspergers.

 '''Alec''': Well...

 '''Chris''': You would not want that [stammers] you were being treated- wanting to be treated as an equal in society, you would not to be called Asper because-

 '''Alec''': But Chris-

 '''Chris''': Because that emphasizes the mental condition you have.

 '''Alec''': Okay Chris, that's part of the, again, character flaw Asperchu has things weighing him down, he has curses and... y'know, not literal curses, but he has detriments to his life that weigh him down as a character, and he has to work to overcome those. That's part of what makes a good character. You wouldn't make a character that's just [[Sonichu|all powerful and perfect in every way and has no real problems ever]], would you? That'd be kinda boring. Complex characters have problems that they overcome.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': And it takes, it takes time, too, to overcome a serious problem, I mean, you just renamed him Mitch, and that wouldn't do it, y'know you can't just go and snap your fingers and just wave the problem away and- 1. That's not realistic, and 2. That doesn't make for good fiction, I mean, all the drama you're building up, y'know, your readers really wouldn't really like that if you just kinda hand-waved it away, don't you think?

 '''Chris''': Alright, yeah, okay, but still-

 '''Alec''': Think about it like this: Superman is named Superman because he's super, right? And y'know, Superman is one of the most- [Alec is cut off]

 '''Chris''': I mean- as- as-as an individual, within his own world, outside of your control, Asperchu would not want that name, he would be in agreement with me, and would probably want to change his name to something like Mitch.

 '''Alec''': Ah, but the thing there is, Asperchu is not outside of my control because it's a comic, and I am the creator and, y'know, manager of his comic universe. So, I- as his creator I decide what Asperchu wants and what he doesn't want, and what his personality is like.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, don't you think?

 '''Chris''': Fairly. I mean, have you ever watched the movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

 '''Alec''': Yes I have, it was a good movie.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, you got the whole toon world there, and within that, it coincides with the comic as well, and every individual comic, published or unpublished, drawn altogether. And within the world, actually, would reside your Asperchu, but he would be with his individual thoughts since you gave him an adult attitude within his, within his individual thoughts, he would- he would hate having the name of Asperchu 'cause it emphasizes his mental problem. 

 '''Alec''': Umm...

 '''Chris''': His special condition. And he's like, his process of wanting to move from that, and become more acceptable in society, that he would not want a name that would make him feel...

 '''Alec''': Okay...

 '''Chris''': Like as if he's still living it, even after he's fully recovered from it.

 '''Alec''': Okay, but Chris, um, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", that was still a movie, and everything in it was predetermined by the movie writers and director, and there is no alternate cartoon world in reality, I mean, cartoon characters don't actually think and feel things. Okay, here's a question-

 '''Chris''': Well, you obviously are naive about that, cause you're not fully underst-, you're not understanding that possibility of that universe actually existing.

 '''Alec''': So you do believe that, um, when an artist creates a cartoon character, that character becomes real? That what you're saying to me?

 '''Chris''': Within that universe, yes.

[Raucous laughter can be heard in the background]

 '''Alec''': But the universe is fake. I mean, the Asperchu universe exists on paper and in my computer. It's just, it's whatever I write it to be. Oh, here's a question for you. Okay, so if you think a character would want, you know, and appropriate name, a good name, not a name that calls them out on something, or sets them back, um... Sonichu is the name of a species, correct? I mean, there's Sonichus and Rosechus, those are a species, right?

 '''Chris''': Yeah, but, he was the first one, the first original Sonichu, and she was the original Rosechu-

 '''Alec''': So, wouldn't they want their own--

 '''Chris''': [Indignant] And-and they each came up with their name, on their own, and they did not need a nickname to go with that.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, but Chris, if you're a human being would you be comfortable just being named, Human? Or Man? I mean, you wouldn't- would you be comfortable if the name Christian Weston Chandler didn't exist, and you were just called, Man, or Person or something?

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, y'know Homo Sapiens-

 '''Chris''': Yeah but I would [Chris and Alec talk over each other]

 '''Alec''': ...Homo Sapien.

 '''Chris''': Yes, but still-

 '''Alec''': Homo, homo.

 '''Chris''': I was not the first human being, and I actually had parents who gave me that name. Sonichu came in, he had to come up with his own name-

 '''Alec''': Well, Sonichu had you who gave him that name didn't he? I mean, within the comic, you Christian Weston Chandler are Sonichu's father right? I mean, why wouldn't, why wouldn't your cartoon self give him a name?

 '''Chris''':: Uh, that's the cartoon me, versus the real me.

 '''Alec''': Okay, but isn't the cartoon you... Okay, like you said cartoons are basically real, I mean, so shouldn't the cartoon version of you be just like you? Wouldn't you want to give your child a name? I mean you-

 '''Chris''': I did give him a name, he's the original Sonichu, so therefore, it's as such.

 '''Alec''': But all the other Sonichus also have nicknames, or secondary names, so, so the first Sonichu, I gotta think is feeling kinda left out. 

 '''Chris''': Well, he doesn't feel left out. He accepts that, and he's happy with it, just as Rosechu.

 '''Alec''':: Okay, well, I don't think Asperchu feels left out because, y'know, he's just my cartoon character. He's my property, y'know, he's my intellectual property, that's what he is. You can't have a person as property, so you know, he's my property, he's not a person, he doesn't feel things, he doesn't think.

 '''Chris''': Okay, well still, what if you could actually could see- what if you could actually could see the child with your girlfriend or wife? Then, would you feel that you own that child even after you have raised him from being a baby, to, let's say, late teenage years where that child would feel more like and individual and independent being?

 '''Alec''':: [clearly frustrated with Chris's nonsense] Chris, you do understand, that a child, a human being is substantially more that a comic character, right? They're not the same thing, they're not even close. Of course I would name a child, children are real, and children are not our property, I mean if I had a child, I would give it all the love and support it needed, but it is it's own person, he or she, I should say. Where as a comic character is just, it's whatever you draw on paper or in PhotoShop. I mean, I draw Asperchu on paper, that's the only place he exists. And then I upload him onto my computer and that's where he exists, and he exists on the web. So I have a character, he grows, but he's never a person.

 '''Chris''': Hmm. Well anyway, this is confusing to think about. Okay- well- yeah...

 '''Alec''':: We can agree to disagree.

 '''Chris''': Okay, what if As- what if the shoe was on the other foot- what if Asperchu created you?

 '''Alec''':: Well then, I'd be a comic character, myself, and I wouldn't have any thoughts and feelings, so that's a moot point.

 '''Chris''': You think that comic character wouldn't have it's own thoughts and feelings?

 '''Alec''':: NO.

 '''Chris''': You are naive.

 '''Alec''':: Chris, you have told me that you think a comic character is fundamentally as much of a person as a real human being, that is the naive thought.

 '''Chris''': No, you are-

 '''Alec''':: I'm a writer, I'm like the god of the Asperchu world. I decide what goes on in Asperchu's world, I decide, who and what Asperchu is and what he thinks and feels, if anything, which he doesn't, because he's still just a character on paper, y'know, when I put the pen down, Asperchu stops being there. Nothing exists in Asperchu's world that I haven't drawn.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] Boy, you are-

 '''Alec''':: And it's naive to think that there's anything more.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs again]

 '''Alec''':: You know, I'm, uh- I think we should agree to disagree on this point.

 '''Chris''':Alright.

 '''Alec''': Um, because we have our own thoughts on that. Um, I kinda ask you about- I'm actually getting some letters about Sonichu, about why you're not updating daily, and I was kinda curious about that.

 '''Chris''': I- for your information, I am updating daily. I draw two pages- I draw and color my two pages a day. I can't help if I don't have access to my computer or if I can't get to it right away, besides which, my biological clock has been fickle on me and it's making me go- making fall asleep early.

 '''Alec''': Well, I understand-

 '''Chris''': And it's difficult to rearrange my schedule, and get back in- in a sync-synchronized routine like I would be.

 '''Alec''': Maybe you could get an alarm clock. You know, I- I'm just kinda curious, like, I know it takes, what, like an hour to do each page, about what you spend, I would kinda guess. Um, I'm just kinda confused why you'd spend an hour to draw a page, but not take that extra sixty seconds to upload it. I think consistency is important thing- 

 '''Chris''': But, wait, it could take- it takes more than sixty seconds to scan it in Photoshop, then upload it. It would probably take like half an hour for all that work.

 '''Alec''': I didn't know you did PhotoShop work with your pages. What do you, what do you use PhotoShop for, if I may ask? I'm just kinda curious. I thought you just-

 '''Chris''': T-t-to change it from more hand-written text, to more legible typed text.

 '''Alec''': Y'know, If I remember right, I think kinda one of the criticisms you had about Asperchu was that it was not completely hand-drawn original. Because I do use PhotoShop in part of my creative process, but it sounds like you do kind of the same thing. Which is, you know, that's fine. Digital, digital media is where our world is going, but I thought- see I thought you drew it all on paper and uploaded it.

 '''Chris''': I did draw it all on paper. The only part I edit in PhotoShop is the text; what you reeead.

 '''Alec''': 'Kay, I thought so. Well, it just seems a little hypocritical, but you do use PhotoShop in the creative process, but you criticized me for it. Don't you think?

 '''Chris''': No, actually, what I thought, is that you skip the hand-drawing and you draw everything on your PhotoShop with your computer mouse.

 '''Alec''': Well I don't-- here's what I do. I do sometimes draw the pages on paper, um, I'm kinda trying to shy away from that because, our society wastes so much paper, so I'm trying to be a little more socially responsible. But what I do, I use a tablet, and I draw on that, and that's basically the same thing as pen and paper, it's, uh, what I draw goes directly on the computer screen. So I don't use a mouse. 

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, it's the same thing-

 '''Chris''': Okay, but still, it looks crappy compared to mine. Even my mother agrees.

 '''Alec''': Oh, hey, hey, hey, c'mon that's a little insulting Chris, what do you mean, "crappy"? I mean, my mother says my comic is the most beautiful comic she's ever seen too but, I kind of think that's because she's a supportive mother. You know, mothers are supposed to support their children in their endeavors. And I have, y'know, got 20,000 fans now that love it too. None of them are my mother. My mother doesn't actually use a computer, I just show her the print-outs.

[There is a brief silence]

 '''Alec''': Y'know I get complemented on my art all the time. 

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, it's okay to disagree. I just, I'm curious why you think it's crappy?

 '''Chris''': Because it's computer drawn. It's not originally hand-drawn.

 '''Alec''': I just told you, it is hand-drawn. It's hand-drawn on a tablet. What do you mean, it's not an original hand-drawn?

 '''Chris''': It don't have the old-fashioned original pencil or pen markings, that's what I have.

 '''Alec''': So, because I don't have smudge-marks on my paper, is that's what you mean? That was another reason I went with the tablet, because I got a lot of smudge-marks on my paper when I was doing math and I had to spend extra time erasing it. Y'know is-- okay, by comparison, could I say that our cars are not true original transportation because people should be using old-fashioned horses? You use PhotoShop for lettering and effects. We're one in the same here, Chris.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs]

 '''Alec''': And-and again, I just don't see why, the exact method I use to draw determines the skill of my art. Weren't you um, I remember recently, didn't you put, like, a live picture of yourself in your comic for some Guitar Hero theme? I mean, you didn't draw that part in, did you?

 '''Chris''': I-I-It at least allows me, to put myself in my work. See, a bigger difference between drawing with a tablet or mouse versus hand-drawn is that you see more personality with the orig-- with the pen-marking, and color-- and marker coloring versus whats... whats digitally entered-

 '''Alec''': Well, if you feel that way. If you feel that way, I respect your opinion, but, I mean, y'know, 20,000 fans can't be wrong, and not a single one of them have ever said anything.

 '''Chris''': Okay well--okay well, l-let me give you a better example on that. Okay, say you got, uh, two letters, two exact same letters from a person, from the same person. One hand-written, and one computerized and printed, which one would you think would have more personality, or would appeal to you better?

 '''Alec''': I honestly don't remember the last time anyone wrote me a hand-written letter. I don't even remember the last time I wrote a hand-written letter, I type everything, every kind of- I mean, typing looks more professional.

 '''Chris''': Professional, yes, but-

 '''Alec''': I mean, hand-written wouldn't get you a job, or anything.

[[Image:MoarCharacter.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
 '''Chris''': At least I have had all the practice of hand-writing, and that- there's more character, more personality put into it, in hand-writing versus what you would just see, everyday in a monosynchronic(?) sense.

 '''Alec''': Well, you know why you see it everyday, everywhere, Chris? You see it everywhere, because it works. Because that's what people prefer.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs]

 '''Alec''': I think we're getting kinda off-topic, I mean I just-- I kinda wanna go back to, um, I understand it can be difficult to get to your computer and upload things, you know in a timely fashion, sometimes, you're not at your computer, things like that, but, I mean, Sonichu's your franchise, a lot of fans I know are getting kind of, y'know, fed up that you don't have pages uploaded everyday. I mean, Sonichu is your, that's your franchise, right? I just, I dunno, I mean, I got a lot of stuff going on in my day too, but I make sure to get at least one or two pages uploaded everyday. Which has been more difficult since my school term started, 'cause I'm in full time school, and, y'know, I work still, I'm still working at the station but... that's just a recommendation, but... again, I know it's difficult, but I recommend that you try. That's all I'm saying.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, I am drawing- I have been drawing the pages, and like I said, I cannot help it if I can't upload on some days, but at least I do upload them in the bulk on when I can upload.

 '''Alec''': You know, for a while, for a couple months, you were uploading most everyday weren't you? I mean, has something, has something, has your schedule gotten busier recently or something?

Chris: I've been falling asleep earlier. And with that, it's hard- and with that it's harder for me to readjust my schedule.

 '''Alec''': You know Chris, if I fell asleep on my job, I'd probably lose my job. I mean, Sonichu is supposed to be your big franchise, right? I mean... if fell asleep while drawing Asperchu and I started missing days, I would buy myself and alarm clock. Or I would upload them earlier, before I knew I was gonna get tired, or whatever.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': It's just-

 '''Chris''': Anyway, anyway I haven't been able to get my schedule around and I just haven't been able to get it in sync yet.

 '''Alec''': What's uh... if I may ask, what's... has something been going on that's been throwing your schedule for a loop? I mean, you-you haven't made videos in the past couple of days but you know prior to that, you were making videos fairly frequently, mostly attacking me. 

 '''Chris''': Originally did-- originally when I did the videos it was not necessarily on a daily basis, that's not like, journal, a video is not like a journal to me.

 '''Alec''': Well but, you know, if you spend 5, 10, 15 minutes making a video, that's time you could be uploading a comic. But instead you make videos attacking me. 

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] Pl-plus, the battery power on my digital camera is fickle.

 '''Alec''': What does your digital camera have to do with uploading pages? I'm saying you shouldn't be using the camera, you shouldn't be making videos. You know why I haven't made any videos, Chris? It's cause I don't have time, I'm uploading pages that and-- that and I don't make death threats to people on the internet, that's not a... I mean, you know-- you know you really hurt my feelings when you started doing those Chris, because, like I said you started as my inspiration and a couple months later you became my troll.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs]

 '''Alec''': I know you have trolls, you know, it sucks.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': It really sucks to have people attacking you like that, but you became my troll.

 '''Chris''': Alright well... you know, how 'bout you just tell Mao that I... if he just... I'll leave y'all alone, let y'all do your thang... y'all take your ads off my website.

 '''Alec''': That's just not a... that's not a sound business move for me, Chris. Those ads are bringing in a lot of viewers

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] So, put 'em on another website.

 '''Alec''': Well, what if that website tells me that, y'know, they don't want them there, then should I move to another website, and then another, and then another... Mao's job is to bring in fans for me, that's what he's doing and he's doing it well, and that's why I keep him-

 '''Chris''': Well, Mao- Mao never asked me before he could- before he put anything up there or before he paid off Jack Thaddeus.

 '''Alec''': Well, he doesn't have to, that's the way ads work. You buy adspace that's publically available. Advertising is not under your control.

 '''Chris''': Ye-Yeh- But I was- but I was never there to witness that monetary transaction, I was never there for that quote-unquote "agreement".

 '''Alec''': You don't own the site, Chris.

 '''Chris''': ...what?

 '''Alec''': You don't own that site. Right? I mean, the money from the ads go to keep the site up, that's my understanding.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] Actually, you're wrong, you see, Mao ga-put- gave that to 2000 Euros directly to Jack Thaddeus actually put that 2000 Euros into the CWCipedia funds, so therefore, Mao never saw his money in his money in the CWCipedia funds, they just went straight to Jack.

 '''Alec''': Um, I'm not really sure. I've never spoken to Jack, I don't know anything about what he and Mao talked about, y'know I'd kinda like to help you out, honestly I would, but I'm still a little... I'm a little miffed that um... even after we had a pretty good talk last time, but you still kept going with this whole Mitch business. I mean, you took my character, and altered him. You say, you say that I didn't get permission to use Sonichu, but you didn't get permission to use Asperchu either.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well...

 '''Alec''': Or Simonchu! I-I-I almost forgot to mention that, Evan wanted me to talk to you about that, about using Simonchu. Y'know, Simonchu was his creation and you used that without permission. And he asked you several times, not- to get rid of Simonchu and Simonla, or whatever her female form is. But- 

 '''Chris''': Yeah, but actually, Simonla was never very inspired by Simonchu... I took an original Rosechu, I changed her to a ground color, gave her the complexion, added an armadillo shell, and then a few drills in appropriate faces- places.

 '''Alec''': So kind of how I took a Sonic, and make him yellow, and gave him a goatee and glasses, and a Buddha belly, and thus was born Asperchu. And, it was- you thought it was a parody, but it just happened to be... that kinda what you're going with, for there? I mean, why didn't you just say that to Evan in the first place, 'cause he has been e-mailing you for a long time 

 '''Chris''': I-I told him- I responded- I told him that in response- in response to why those messages in the mailbag, but apparently, he had not read that.

 '''Alec''': Okay, uhm... let's see, I'm looking at the Simonla at your CWCipedia here, um, you say that... I'll just read what it says here: About, on or before August 26, 2008, I received and e-mail from Evan George, uhh... submitting his Sonichu fan-art to me, then later submitted his idea for Simonchu, it did not strike as good at first but for a few months, I wanted to create a ground type, um... so from Simonchu, I created Simonla Rosechu. That's on the Simonla article for your Cwcipedia. I mean that's, smoking gun, Chris, that's proof, that you used Simonchu as a base.

 '''Chris''': [Groans]

 '''Alec''': I'm... y'know I'm not trying to attack you with this but I really think this is Evan's, that you should get rid of Simonchu and Simonla, write 'em out. 'Cause the facts are right there Chris.

 '''Chris''': Well, actually it was not like that, I typed it in because Evan was badgering me as such, and it just stuck in my head, and pretty much stuck... when I typed it in originally. 

 '''Alec''': Why would that just stick in your head, why would that happen? Why would it stick in your head, unless it's true?

 '''Chris''': [Trying to think of an excuse]I put it in there to make a mockery out of him!

 '''Alec''': Well, then you kind of... kind of lied about it to people, didn't you? I mean, 'cause everyone else thinks that's the honest truth

 '''Chris''': Well, I can stick- well I can change that and fix it.

 '''Alec''': Doesn't matter, you already established it. I mean, when it comes to, like, copyright, and that sort of thing, Chris, I mean, the one thing that matters more that anything else is documentation, and history. And all of your documentation shows that you used Simonchu as inspiration. You acknowledge lega liability here. Whether it was a joke or not, you wrote it like it was real. And Evan's been pester-

 '''Chris''': [Chris lets out a big sigh]

 '''Alec''': ...ing me to talk to you, 'cause apparently you're ignoring his e-mails... although you ignore my e-mails too. I mean, like I said, it was a pain just to get a hold of you. I mean, for a guy who has so much to say to me, you are hard to get a hold of.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, you, you, I'm just I wanna let you know, you do need to comply with Evan's demands, 'cause he's talking about litigation, and that if he want to get a lawyer over this. He said that he'd, that he'd back off if you acknowledge, in the comic and write Simonchu and Simonla out, and y'know, say that they will be done and gone forever. He has the copyright for Simonchu. I mean, would you be willing to do that? Write 'em out? 

 '''Chris''': I'll con- I'll think about it.

 '''Alec''': Okay, well don't think too long. I mean, this is a serious issue.

 '''Chris''': [Sigh]

 '''Alec''': I'm just- I'm just trying to give you advice, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Yeah-

 '''Alec''': I don't wanna see litigation out of this.

 '''Chris''': Hmm... anyway I'm feeling tired right now.

 '''Alec''': Okay well, I'll let you go, um... you have a good night, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Alright, goodnight.

 '''Alec''': Goodnight.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|Chris and Alec Call 1]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Chris and Alec Call 3]]|}}

==External Links==

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGB99JTZJes The Call on Youtube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

File:Comparison.jpg

2010-03-26T05:32:11Z

Toughdog6789: It's true

It's true

Sonichu 10

2010-03-19T15:11:31Z

Toughdog6789: /* Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo */

[[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|thumb|Finalized issue cover, from [[July 2009]].]]

'''''Sonichu 10''''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]]. The final pages were uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]], also [[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]].

==Background==
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|09 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "[[time void]]" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu #9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. By the end of Episode 21, however, he remains in the comic.

===Death of Simonla===
During the production of Sonichu 10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was putting pressure on Chris to kill or otherwise remove from the comics [[Simonla Rosechu]], whose creation had been based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, Simonchu. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a kangaroo court, are bloodily executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of Sonichu 10.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==

===Curing Da [[Homos]]===

The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named [[Lovely Weather]]. Chris then goes on to reveal that he [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], and then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos]]exuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]] is worried sick about. [[Homos|The fate of the other syringe is never seen.]]

He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the <s>Sonichu Balls</s> Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!) Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he psychically calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the hundreds of plot holes: He calls out to Allison Amber and [[BILLY MAYS]], who somehow survived [[Sonichu 9]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], [[Guitar Hero]] and his plastic instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at [[4chan|4-Cent Garbage]]'s HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]] and [[Punchy]] to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild play in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]

Chris, before killing his enemies, makes a stop at a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (a large, not-so-subtle sign notes the building is somehow hosted by Tripod, one Chris's original webspace providers). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound; until the Devil [[Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The troll's flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, [[fail|as best he can]], the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed ''[[Brutal Legend]]'', though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He than proceeds to teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs <s>Chaos</s> Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building , erects a barrier around the building '''and fucking blows it up!''' Chris then claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, after "burning the Tripod bridge", proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, whose revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, preparing up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed. Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''Guitar Hero'' [[guitar]]. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two [[sonichus]] fight it out until the two of them conveniently hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the [[lies|completely non-homoerotic]] phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, Son-Chu, Sonichu, Blake and Wild arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===POWER RANGERS FUCK YEAH===

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel, evidently alive, [[Clyde Cash]], making his first official appearance in the comics, and [[Jack Thaddeus]], also making his first appearance, warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too [[alcohol|drunk]] to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. [[fail|Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375.]] A memorial would be put up in the ruins and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they probably' had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.]]

[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]

Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on [[Women's rights|Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon]], [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31|being Big Brother]]. Upon returning, Magi-Chan declares that testing on the vaccine is a success and that he brought the crates to the present and are sending them across on trucks. It is said that one February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be called [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]]. He also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female from [[GodJesus]] and [[Fail|fall in love with Magi-Chan]].

===Chris trolls himself again===

All of a sudden, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a [[fail|fan of the comic series]]. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris, cheating on his future wife AGAIN. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

===Ultra Sonichu and [[Collosal Chan]]===

After taking the time to grovel at his fans for the past comic and begging them not to abandon him, he and Sonichu take the Sonichu Ball Crystal things and transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, Chris decides to go back to CWCVille, but tells Ultra Sonichu to head for RuleCWC with Darkbind Sonichu before heading for [[Asperchu|Minnesota]] and wait for him. Back in CWCVille, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. As Crystal comes to, Allison says that she's called the paramedics to look after her. For some reason Crystal refers to Christian as "Christopher", though it's not clear if this is meant to be some kind of sign between the siblings, or if Chris just forgot about his [[The Bear|name change]].

Meanwhile in RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. In "Da Cave", a stone breaks open and someone, possibly Clawdorf, realizes the Chaotic Crystals freed him, then asks how long he was out. That's right, the act of Chris and Sonichu activating their super forms allows a vaguely defined evil force to escape imprisonment. It's not like Chris and Sonichu ''needed'' to transform, either. The greatest threat to CWCville at the moment is Chris himself as he [[Twin Falling Towers|destroys various buildings]] with the power of [[fail|rock]]. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, who acts like the rest of the vapid rosechus over what Darkbind did for her. This rescue complete, Ultra Sonichu races out, but not before he "coles" the window hatch.

[[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]

In Minnesota, Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu hover over the house of Alec Benson Leary, and break in. Discovering Alec's computer (which is revealed to be a [[Hex_bawx|HEX BAWX]] "Pavillion"; note Chris's computer is an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion (computer)|HP Pavillion]]), Chris [[Chris and sex|inserts his finger]] into a USB port, then concentrates and rips off ''Shadow the Hedgehog'' by placing himself inside the computer. Once inside, Chris proceeds to delete all files within the [[Asperpedia]], ban Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, the delete their accounts. He, then, steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator, before he escapes, planting another Lightning Bomb to blow up the HEX BAWX. While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. While the art in Asperchu is hardly professional grade, at the very least it shows some understanding of perspective, proportion, and pacing. If anything it looks like a moderately skilled artist who just happens to be drawing very quickly, whereas Sonichu looks like it's drawn by a [[Christian Weston Chandler|retarded child]].

While investigating the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu overhears people talking and, upon leaving, discovers Asperchu and his variation of the Chaotic Combo, whom are tired of his world's mall. Upon seeing him, the Sonichu and Rosechu start going off into a nearly god-like praise for the [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu. The malformed beasts then proceed to tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's and pushed homosexuality on them and that they had real names before Alec gave them the names of the Chaotic Combo. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure them of Asperger's, transforming them into Michael, Bobby, Kitty, Trisha, Whisp and Swift (all of whom will never appear again). Asperchu then turns into a muscle-bound Sonichu known as Mitch. As thanks, Sonichu tells them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free. As he does, Chris blows up the HEX BAWX.

At this point the group literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before Chris]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God; simply a representative of God. Metal Asperchu then shows up and assaults the group. Chris creates a barrier, though he doesn't bother to use his nigh-omnipotence to destroy the enemy or send him to the [[The Moon|goddamn moon]] and instead forces the non-chaotic Combo to combine their powers to defeat the creature. With that out of the way, they thank Chris again for being so awesome, then spot Asperchu creator Alec Benson Leary off-screen, and go to [[death threats|physically assault him]]. Chris has never seen an actual picture of Alec, and so he is never depicted. Alec apparently had a group of rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Page 65 is a wall of text so mindbogglingly long and retarded that Chris has to cut his way out from the previous page (or something) to cram a picture. The tl;dr of it is an attempt to once again retcon everything his characters have done in anyone else's comics, reaffirming their sexuality, sweethearts, occupations, and rebuking any characterizations that say otherwise, in an attempt to absolutely distinguish that his Sonichu is unrelated to Asperchu in any way. He finishes by stating that his characters will never go to Minnesota, nor interact with any Mitch/Asperchu unless he says so.

Impatient, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story.

Back in CWCville, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]] (who has been trying to convince Chris to remove her from the comic via the [[Mailbag]] for weeks), who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]], but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest the Cwcville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Finally, Ultra Sonichu and the 4 unnamed Rosechu's supposedly from [[Chris|Alec's]] basement arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated rosechus just stare on despondently. [[Basement Rosechus|The rosechus]], named Brit-tay, Bride, Moe and Mary, decide to live their lives <s>as vapid airheads who do nothing but simper over sonichus</s> the way they should. Ultra Sonichu helps Mary into a wheelchair and flies off. As he leaves, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. The guy tells Sonichu he's been fighting a cold for five years and Sonichu thinks it's because of the nicotine (yes, folks. The man's high and Chris thinks it's because of tobacky!). He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]], where [[Fan: Moon-Pals|certain people will know how to use it better]]. Flying to the highest point of CWCVille, Ultra Sonichu uses Chaotic Control to free every [[Jerkop]] in the city.

===The Final Countdown===

Meanwhile, Collosal Chan confronts [[Slaweel Ryam]] in the [[PVCC]]. There, Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune as some means for Chris to justify the running plot thread of Mary Lee Walsh and her Jerkops had been somehow trying to stop TRUE and HONEST love and keep VIRGINIA for VIRGINS. [[Count Graduon]] had told her he could help her, but that obviously [[fail]]ed. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to smash it, her boobs apparently inflating to the levels of [[Mary Lee Walsh#Fan art|troll fan art]] as she does. Chris looks at it like an idiot and does so without a second thought. With that, Chris goes into a spiel in which he complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will kill Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and, of course, Chris gets the upper hand, reflecting Slaweel's attacks back at her before deftly defeating her. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

[[File:Simonlas Death WIP.jpg|thumb|Uncensored version of what happened in the toilet.]]

With Slaweel defeated, Chris goes on to make a public announcement, mentioning that Slaweel has been put in a maximum security prison, with her ex-manajerks being released free of charges. He also goes on to allow homosexuality in CWCVille, but makes marriage illegal. He appoints Crystal head of social relations to try to make things better. As he talks, admitting [[Asperchu|Alec]] had a bigger fan base, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. ''Deus Ex Machina'' that he is, Magi-Chan stops [[Evan]] and [[Simonchu]] from killing Simonla, but isn't able to stop Alec from planting Toilet Exploding Voltorb, which detonates and hits Simonla while she's taking a piss. The police and medics race to deal with the aftermath, with Magi-Chan handing Evan and Simonchu over to the police. As Wild tends to Simonla, she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'').

As Wild worries and everyone tries to save Simonla, things go downhill and Simonla dies. Wild is told the bad news by [[Bill the Scientist]] and plans to get revenge on Simonla's killers, only to be stopped by Magi-Chan, since the killers had all conveniently already been arrested. At that time, Simonla's egg hatches, and the first thing the Rosey asks is "Where's Mommy?" Magi-Chan, insensitive fuck that he is, tells her point blank Evan killed her. Over the week, Wild tends to the little Rosey, who quickly evolves into [[Sandy Rosechu]]. Some explanation is given for Sandy's training and home life, including a mention that she is taught English (even though she is shown to be perfectly capable of speaking full sentences at the exact moment of her birth).

===Forgiveness...?===

The sequence of events is interspersed with Chris delivering an [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_6|apology]] to Alec and Evan and bestowing a Forgiveness Blessing on Mao. Both are completely undermined by the events of the next several pages, proving yet again that Chris [[Chris_and_remorse#Motivation_to_apologize|views an apology purely as a way to get people off his back]].

Time then jumps ahead to the trial of CWCVille versus Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao. Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (who seems to be based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing. Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while high. The judge asks for order in the court and Sean orders [[fail|a beer float and pot stickers]]. All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. They're then sentenced to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
Alec is first, put on the Ten-Button Electric Chair. Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu - meaning Alec is '''flash-fried''' for daring to write a comic. Evan is chained to a wall and '''drilled to bits by the infant Sandy''', who keeps his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there). '''Sean is shot to death by Allison, Bill and Kellie''' and finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]] with his psychic powers''', making this the bloodiest comic ever, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|despite Chris stating just ''pages'' earlier that the rampant gore in the Asperpedia was practically criminal.]]

Although the battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] was the culmination of years of comics by Chris coming to a head, it is given far less time and importance than the trial and execution by the Asperpedia crew. Similarly, Crystal's rescue from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] is done in about a page and a half, with no dialogue and no indication that it is in any way significant to the plot.

Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Independence Day. The comic ends with a page dedicating the book to [[PandaHalo]] and includes her original fanart and a page from her comic.

==="Extras"===

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls| his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8| months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris then proceeds to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===Preview===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris (who obviously is NOT pulling himself out of the comic) admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her <s>special drill bit</s> lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s>Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]]. On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company - probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads.

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Chris Drops the N-Bomb

2010-03-18T07:18:56Z

Toughdog6789: /* Video */

'''Chris Drops the N-Bomb''' (officially posted as '''100_2151.MOV''') is a video where [[Chris]] sends yet another gory [[Death_threats|death threat]], and uses the infamous 'N-Word', at [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris once again drops the name of the [[Wallflower]]. His actual explicit and complete usage of the racial slur, however, was unexpected; the closest he had previously come was when [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into trying to say it, only for him to say [[Niggo]].

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation of Chris between this and his previous video]]
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2151.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|cuxOX-r7R50}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 17 March 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = Surfshack Tito
| Performance Style = {{rage}} Rage
| Saga = [[Image:Surfshacktito_saga.png]] [[Surfshack_Tito]]
| Shirt = {{TanWideLines}} Tan Wide Lines
| previous = [[Happy Sonichu Day]]
| next = [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Current]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
Tito! You stay away from [[The Wallflower|Heather]], you son of a bitch. You have no right taking her from me like that, you [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|womanizing rapist]]! And if you go near her again, then I will find you! I will find you, I will [[Pocket knife|cut you up]], I will [[CWC Fighter|beat you up]], I will knock you on your backside, stand on your gut like a [[Obesity|log roller]], and roll your fat right through your skull! Blow it wide open!

Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing raping [[troll|trollin' stupid]] [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle suited]] [[Niggo|'''nigger!''']] And don't you ever, don't you dare contact me in my E-mail again, or contact me ever! You stay away from me- you stay away from me and contact. Don't call me, I will find you!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Happy Sonichu Day]]|nextlink=[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Current]]|}}

{{Template:Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

File:Surfshacktito saga.png

2010-03-18T07:18:39Z

Toughdog6789:

"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!

2010-03-17T16:42:52Z

Toughdog6789:

'''"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!''' is a video released on 14 March 2010, in which Chris pleads to a [[gal-pal]] going by the pen name of [[The Wallflower|Damian Antaria]] to not get a new [[jerk|boyfriend]] and take him instead, because his life is unhappy. After singing (poorly) a shortened version of his song [[CWC_"Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend"]], he then asks Damian to "give him a break", and talks about his miserable life, and paying $100 to a hooker. It seems as if he did not actually go through with paying for sex, however, as he still claims he is a virgin. He may simply be referring to the familiar [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|incident from mid-2009]] where he tried and failed to hire a prostitute while being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]].

He repeatedly says "Please," because we all know that [[lie|women love men who beg]]. His tone of voice, though, sounds more demanding than anything, conveying the impression that [[Chris and his Ego|he feels he's entitled to have the object of his desire as his girlfriend]].

He also reveals that he still has no understanding of social interaction. He says that 'Damian' had told him multiple times she wasn't ready for a boyfriend which suggests that he both constantly tried to ask her out, prompting her to have to say a thin excuse multiple times, and that he is socially inept enough that he did not realize she was making an excuse. There is also a distinct possibility that her new boyfriend is either a cover she created to get him to back off, or is in fact not her boyfriend and their friendship is being misconstrued by Chris.

Note the lack of medallion and the many uses of the [[Claw of Fail]], looking as if he were menacing Damian. Also note that he seems to believe that Damian's new boyfriend is a [[troll]], implying that he's starting to have flashbacks to [[Liquid]], [[Kacey|who is already married]].

Uncharacteristically, Chris recorded and uploaded this video in the mid-afternoon. Thanks to his [[biological clock|peculiar day-night cycle]], he usually delivers his YouTube rants late at night or in the very early morning.

One of the many reasons that this attempt, as well as many others, failed is because he insults her boyfriend and then begs for sex, like any [[Chris|man with good intentions.]]

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU<nowiki>!!!</nowiki>
| image = {{#ev:youtube|OU7REQHxY6Q}}
| Stardate = 14 [[March 2010]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Tragedy}} Tragedy, {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = {{DangerStripeShirt}} The DangerStripe
| previous = [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]
| next = '''Current'''
}}

==Transcript==
[''Chris opens the video with a heavy [[sigh]] and removes his [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]]. His expression is troubled and grim.'']

This message goes out to Damian Antaria, her pen name. Not revealing her real name, all things considered. You know something? You don't, you don't need that new boyfriend, [[Chris and his ego|because... I need you]]. We were very depend-we had so much in common! I don't see why you had to go and do that I mean, you aren't even [[Boyfriend-free girl|ready for a boyfriend]]! You told me so yourself, multiple times! I respected that for a little while. [''sigh''] But, you know what? This puts to mind a little something...

[''He bends down to pick something up off the floor, a remote control, and queues up the old [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video on his TV.'']

...I have put together before.

[''He begins singing.'']

Hey hey, you you 
I don't like your boyfriend 
No way, no way 
I think you need a new one

Hey hey, you you 
I could be your boyfriend 
da na da, da na da 
da da da, da da da

[''He begins waving his hands around spastically, which continues through his performance.'']

In a second you'll be [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|wrapped around my finger]] 
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better 
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? 
He's so trollin' stupid, what the hell were you thinkin'?

That old sumbitch try to take you out of my life 
But you know I could do it better 
[[Liquid Chris|He's an impostor]], he's a poser 
What the hells were you thinkin' with that damn [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle suit]]?

[''The singing mercifully ends.'']

C'mon. Damian. Damian Antaria. Give me a break! You know my, I don't want to be back in a situation where I'm, [[Virgin with rage|that desperate I got...]]

[''He holds up the [[Claw of Fail|claw]].'']

Go as far as to pay a [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|hundred dollars for a damn hooker]]. Give me a breaaak!! I'm a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin! I'm in a [[cwcville|hell of my own]]! [''sigh''] C'mon, please? Pleeeeaaaase? [[Lies|I've been so very worried about you]], I've had [[Obesity|heartaches]] since last Wednesday. I've had [[Biological Clock|sleepless nights]]! It really hurts!

[''He clutches at his chest.'']

Heartaches hurt. Think about that.

[''He turns off the camera.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]|nextlink=Current|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos_Christian_uploaded_to_YouTube]]

"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!

2010-03-17T16:25:09Z

Toughdog6789: reuploading video to another account

"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!

2010-03-17T15:49:55Z

Toughdog6789:

'''"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!''' is a video released on 14 March 2010, in which Chris pleads to a [[gal-pal]] going by the pen name of [[The Wallflower|Damian Antaria]] to not get a new [[jerk|boyfriend]] and take him instead, because his life is unhappy. After singing (poorly) a shortened version of his song [[CWC_"Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend"]], he then asks Damian to "give him a break", and talks about his miserable life, and paying $100 to a hooker. It seems as if he did not actually go through with paying for sex, however, as he still claims he is a virgin. He may simply be referring to the familiar [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|incident from mid-2009]] where he tried and failed to hire a prostitute while being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]].

He repeatedly says "Please," because we all know that [[lie|women love men who beg]]. His tone of voice, though, sounds more demanding than anything, conveying the impression that [[Chris and his Ego|he feels he's entitled to have the object of his desire as his girlfriend]].

He also reveals that he still has no understanding of social interaction. He says that 'Damian' had told him multiple times she wasn't ready for a boyfriend which suggests that he both constantly tried to ask her out, prompting her to have to say a thin excuse multiple times, and that he is socially inept enough that he did not realize she was making an excuse. There is also a distinct possibility that her new boyfriend is either a cover she created to get him to back off, or is in fact not her boyfriend and their friendship is being misconstrued by Chris.

Note the lack of medallion and the many uses of the [[Claw of Fail]], looking as if he were menacing Damian. Also note that he seems to believe that Damian's new boyfriend is a [[troll]], implying that he's starting to have flashbacks to [[Liquid]], [[Kacey|who is already married]].

Uncharacteristically, Chris recorded and uploaded this video in the mid-afternoon. Thanks to his [[biological clock|peculiar day-night cycle]], he usually delivers his YouTube rants late at night or in the very early morning.

One of the many reasons that this attempt, as well as many others, failed is because he insults her boyfriend and then begs for sex, like any [[Chris|man with good intentions.]]

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU<nowiki>!!!</nowiki>
| image = {{#ev:youtube|OU7REQHxY6Q}}
| Stardate = 14 [[March 2010]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Tragedy}} Tragedy, {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = {{DangerStripeShirt}} The DangerStripe
| previous = [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]
| next = '''Current'''
}}

==Transcript==
[''Chris opens the video with a heavy [[sigh]] and removes his [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]]. His expression is troubled and grim.'']

This message goes out to Damian Antaria, her pen name. Not revealing her real name, all things considered. You know something? You don't, you don't need that new boyfriend, [[Chris and his ego|because... I need you]]. We were very depend-we had so much in common! I don't see why you had to go and do that I mean, you aren't even [[Boyfriend-free girl|ready for a boyfriend]]! You told me so yourself, multiple times! I respected that for a little while. [''sigh''] But, you know what? This puts to mind a little something...

[''He bends down to pick something up off the floor, a remote control, and queues up the old [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video on his TV.'']

...I have put together before.

[''He begins singing.'']

Hey hey, you you 
I don't like your boyfriend 
No way, no way 
I think you need a new one

Hey hey, you you 
I could be your boyfriend 
da na da, da na da 
da da da, da da da

[''He begins waving his hands around spastically, which continues through his performance.'']

In a second you'll be [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|wrapped around my finger]] 
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better 
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? 
He's so trollin' stupid, what the hell were you thinkin'?

That old sumbitch try to take you out of my life 
But you know I could do it better 
[[Liquid Chris|He's an impostor]], he's a poser 
What the hells were you thinkin' with that damn [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle suit]]?

[''The singing mercifully ends.'']

C'mon. Damian. Damian Antaria. Give me a break! You know my, I don't want to be back in a situation where I'm, [[Virgin with rage|that desperate I got...]]

[''He holds up the [[Claw of Fail|claw]].'']

Go as far as to pay a [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|hundred dollars for a damn hooker]]. Give me a breaaak!! I'm a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin! I'm in a [[cwcville|hell of my own]]! [''sigh''] C'mon, please? Pleeeeaaaase? [[Lies|I've been so very worried about you]], I've had [[Obesity|heartaches]] since last Wednesday. I've had [[Biological Clock|sleepless nights]]! It really hurts!

[''He clutches at his chest.'']

Heartaches hurt. Think about that.

[''He turns off the camera.'']

==An accurate reinactment==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Ballet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|u07doTI_Wfo}}
| Stardate = 16 March 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/toughdog6789 toughdog6789]
| Subject = '''Chris's plea to wallflower'''
| Video Type = [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Other Info = This is pretty much the exact same video (except with horrible voice acting).
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]|nextlink=Current|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos_Christian_uploaded_to_YouTube]]

Camerawork

2010-02-14T05:22:46Z

Toughdog6789:

[[Image:camerawork1.png|thumb|You can totally make out the face.]]
[[Image:camerawork2.png|thumb|Chris is real good at hiding his failures.]]

Chris has no fucking idea how to use a camera. Chris assumes that if he can see the lens, then everything can be seen by the lens. He has no idea what it means to be in the focus of a shot, and is constantly standing way out of center, or is putting shit way too close to the camera, so that you cant even tell what the fuck you're looking at.

Talk:Camerawork

2010-02-14T05:19:57Z

Toughdog6789: Created page with '== I don't think this page exists yet == I looked, and saw nothing about Chris's actually camerawork, so I started it up--~~~~'

== I don't think this page exists yet ==

I looked, and saw nothing about Chris's actually camerawork, so I started it up--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 05:19, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

Camerawork

2010-02-14T05:18:52Z

Toughdog6789: lets get this shit rolling

[[Image:camerawork1.png|thumb|You can totally make out the face.]]
[[Image:camerawork2.png|thumb|Chris is real good at hiding his failures.]]

Chris have no fucking idea how to use a camera. Chris assumes that if he can see the lens, then everything can be seen by the lens. He has no idea what it means to be in the focus of a shot, and is constantly standing way out of center, or is putting shit way too close to the camera, so that you cant even tell what the fuck you're looking at.

File:Camerawork2.png

2010-02-14T05:16:11Z

Toughdog6789:

File:Camerawork1.png

2010-02-14T05:15:38Z

Toughdog6789: Chris can't center shit

Chris can't center shit

RAH

2010-02-12T19:42:47Z

Toughdog6789: Redirected page to Random access humor

#REDIRECT [[Random_access_humor]]

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-02-10T04:43:05Z

Toughdog6789: i lol'd

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|right|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of The Simpsons.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[Obesity|McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be [[Sonichu (comic)|forced to actually put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===
In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 27-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has been employed for two months of his entire life]], lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Despite this, he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school (in a scandalously revealing outfit). At age 27 Chris has dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], regular sleep patterns, and some purpose in life apart from creating terrible comics and debasing himself on the internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|right|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his [[Resume|resume]], Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren play Pokémon with little kids all the time. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the hobby store where he played cards.

Much like acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her the richest woman in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising Sonichu (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him a dime). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] in check, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing [[Niggos|tolerance]] [[JERKS|and]] [[Homos|respect]] for other people, and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[Monthly tugboat|money]] or [[Gal pals|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) autistic. However, Chris [[Myspace|distances himself]] from others with autism, calling them "slow-in-the-minds" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and Health|seriously]] [[Duck|physically]] [[Chris|deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "blacks" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "that's another story."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic, even though they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|He thinks it's normal for adults to shit their pants from time to time]], and he found nothing strange about [[Recycling#Recycling|jerking off into a cup and chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a YouTube video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll with a picture of his sweetheart taped to the face]] because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra that he wears happily]]. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]]. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's not ashamed of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them any amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag_7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that no gay person had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack <s>is</s> was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they [[recycling|do]] behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that gays are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage."

In the world of Sonichu, the villanous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her trap shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with [[Recycling|drinking his own semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.''' That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works - legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a great number of sources. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "parodic", but doesn't like creations that he has labelled "parodies" either.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over (nonexistent) unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[EBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where [[Homos|homosexuality]] is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and Robbie Sonee describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras,]] to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman actually willing to participate]].

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===

It is evident to the readers of Sonichu that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (a idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolated incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but is not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated ([[Fail|without success]]) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[China|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]], issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]], and trying to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic, where he shot him in the shins for no apparent reason. When the girlfriend, scared for her and her boyfriend's safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Strangely, Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Issue_C/Page_29 business end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

A big example of Chris's hypocrisy are the ridiculously high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders in regards to hypocrisy are;

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|Government Welfare]] yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|overweight lazy slob]], yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]" Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==Chris on hypocrisy==

{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a newer, yet badly drawn, thing, after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is vague, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist.

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all Sonic the Hedgehog games regardless of quality, and wear and display Pokémon merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed Sonic and Pokémon when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Template:Video of the now

2010-02-06T23:51:32Z

Toughdog6789: its not the video that matters, its the song, which is AMAZING

<center>{{#ev:youtube|be0JuT7qRQo}}</center>
<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]]</noinclude>

CWC Update 18 January 2009

2010-02-06T01:12:49Z

Toughdog6789: He DOES say it, learn to listen closely people

"'''CWC Update 18 January 2009'''" (officially "'''CWCUpdate01182009'''") is a video in which [[Christian]] issues a scathing statement concerning hackers who used his email account to send messages to dozens of people saying Christian has [[homos|come out of the closet]]. He denies this outrageous claim and proves his heterosexuality by stomping on the [[vibrator]] he has owned for years. Taped to his foot is a message featuring a crudely drawn nude female torso to hammer home his point. Internet scientists are hard at work determining which [[anime]] he copied this stupid idea from.

There is delicious irony in hearing Christian bellow "I'm straight, I'm straight, believe me!" while the camera shows four pink purses lined up on his wall behind him.

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 18 January 2009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|5LJOSQ4fnLI}}
| Stardate = 18 January 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Homosn.png]] [[Homos]]
| Performance Style = {{Rage}} [[Chris and anger|Rage]]
| Shirt = [[Image:classicshirt.png]] Classic shirt
| previous = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009#Video|Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]]
| next = [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash#Video|Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]
}}</center>

{{quote|You can ''kiss my foot!'' ''And you know what else else?''}}

===Transcript===

January 18, 2009.

[Note: Chris says "Captain's Log" right before this, but the first second of the video is corrupt.]

Uh, this is ''another'' brief update.

For those of you that have actu—who have actually received them—um… the e-mails that possibly came from my AOL account: [[trolls|''troll'']]—another troll has—hacked into my AOL account yesterday… and, uh, spammed the e-mails around. I had, uh, closed the account ''temporarily''… and I am currently, uh, without the e-mail address.

So, therefore, uh… just—just to rem—just to let everybody in my fan base and on the Internet know: I'm sti—I ''am'' straight! I am straight! ''And no troll''—''no slanderous troll'' is gonna… alter me in such way!

I'm straight. Straight! ''Believe me!''

I have a subscription to ''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Playboy]]''.

[''sniffles'']

And look into my—and look in my ''eyes'' [looks away], in my ''face''. I ''can't'' be more serious than how I am right now.

''Those damn slanderous trolls!''

[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|right|Chris defends his sexuality.]]

''Damn them all to Hell.''

[''cut to Chris at a new angle'']

And another thing, ya slanderous trolls:

[''cut to sole of Chris's shoe'']

You can ''kiss my foot!''

''And you know what else else?''

[''cut to Chris loudly slamming his foot down on top of his [[sex toys|vibrator]]'']

[''grinds foot into vibrator until it slips loose, rolling out of the shot'']

[''turns foot to reveal a note that depicts a naked woman's torso and the message "CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IS STRAIGHT!!"'']

And don't you forget it!

[''nearly kicks camera over by sliding heel forward for an extreme close-up'']

[''cut back to Chris at original angle'']

Uh, but, the rest of y'all, the ''true'', good citizens: ''peace'', and have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san]]|nextlink=[[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2009-01-18]]

Talk:Chris and sex

2010-02-06T01:03:29Z

Toughdog6789: /* Common Questions */

Actually, so far so good, but I'm wondering - should we include Chris's views on women in a separate article (like how they're "so sweet" and such) or should we include it here? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:11, 28 January 2009 (CET)

It could go under "Knowledge of Sex and Gender." It'd only be a paragraph or so.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]

"he didn't understand sex until watch softcore porn on HBO around age 16)" < Fixed it to "he didn't understand sex until he watched softcore porn on HBO around age 16)". Was a glaring error; Though it was understandable to read through. [[User:IJustDontCareAnymore|IJustDontCareAnymore]] 00:13, 18 April 2009 (CEST)

I added the asexuality section to here, I totally forgot about this article when I originally wrote it. -- [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 09:13, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
:While I don't subscribe to the idea he's asexual, you present a great case for the idea. Personally, I'm of the belief Chris has the mentality of a spoiled 9-year-old who wants to play with his toys and video games 24/7, but who also wants in on the fun parts of being "grown up" without really understanding their implications. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 10:06, 8 August 2009 (CEST)

Is that conversation between Chris and Panda about her getting raped recorded somewhere? That is fucking beyond belief and I need to see it. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 21:04, 18 August 2009 (CEST)

== Chris and Incest ==

Shouldn't there be a section on this page that displays Chris' thoughts on incest? As I recall, Chris and a troll talked about it back a long time ago in one of the earliest Mumble chats. Let's also not forget what was implied between Sonichu and Rosechu in episode 9 of the audiobooks. What do you think? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 12:39. 29 September 2009

I think your furriness masks your intelligence, kid. Good Idea.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:51, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

==Rape split==
Given the stuff about Panda particularly and the fact that rape is a frequent thing when it comes to Chris, anyone think that perhaps the rape section could be split off into its own article? Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:01, 3 October 2009 (CEST)
* Sounds like a good idea to me. A ''lot'' could be written about that subject.

It'll probably be the creepiest article on this site, though. *shudder* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 08:11, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

==Prostitution quote==
Where did the quote from the prostitution thing come from? that seems like a conversation or e-mail worth reading.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:44, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==Chris's penis==
Could someone find a pic of a seven inch erect penis in flaccid state, to compare to Chris's flaccid penis? The one from the shower vid definitely can't be seven inches, because it's about the same size as mine and I'm sure as hell not seven inches. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:58, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Turgid size doesn't always correlate perfectly with flaccid size. [[User:Kajillion|Kajillion]] 06:26, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Another point; Chris's obesity is not helping his manhood's size. The layers of fat around the base of his penis might artificially shrinks it. Besides, I wonder why we are talking about this. Chris got the habit to make false claims. In fact, I took the time to download and watch his "Mass-Debate" videos and I refuse to believe that his unit measure seven inches. He might make the number by adding his scrotum but I bet he's not longer than five. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:44, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Speaking of which, would it be possible to move that lower in the page, maybe put it under a spoiler tag? I and maybe a few others would rather not be scarred for life any further by it showing up the first second we glance our eyes onto the page. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:26, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
* A sign warning you of really nasty shit like this would be okay, too. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:28, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

==Coping Methods==
Would anyone happen to exactly know how Chris's coping methods are unhealthy? I kind of know about the sex change, but what about his other methods? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 21:10, 14 March 2009 (GMT)

*They're explained pretty well here. He wants to, at least mentally, punish himself for having homoerotic thoughts. He wants to ban gay people from reality so that he never has to have those thoughts again. He's so convinced, for whatever reason, that homosexuality is just plain wrong, that he can't even allow himself to have these thoughts, let alone accept them. It's no healthier than reparative therapy is. also why does your sig say it's March? --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 05:25, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**This goes beyond homosexuality. Chris is taking great length to not mention anything remotely sexualized. His use of the terms "Pickle", "China" "Mass Debating" and "Hanky-Panky" instead of the proper terms for genitals, masturbation and sexual relations shows us what kind of cluster-fuck Chris's psyche really is. He's still in the stage where using or not using a "Magical Mantra" can give you free stuff and avoid taking responsibilities. Quite immature but oh-so autistic if you ask me. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:07, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Common Questions==
*A while back Chris said his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie. I was hoping he would have a weirder taste, but is there any way we can use this information? [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 08:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*You can just slap it in the article. (I.E. "At one time, Chris admitted that his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie.")

Chris and sex

2010-02-06T00:59:05Z

Toughdog6789: Not everyone wants to go to google all the time. Just because some of you know big words, doesn't mean you should fucking use them all the time.

{{Honest}}
{{oversized}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. Chris repeatedly refers to women as the "opposite gender" as opposed to "opposite sex." By definition, "gender" refers to the personality of a person, while "sex" refers to the physiology or genetics of a person. So a request from Chris for love from the opposite gender, is an open invitation to MTF trannies. In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like men.

In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. Who would think that such art forms could be this beneficial? This thinking has certainly worked wonders for Chris, who now believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And, he has a subscription to ''Playboy''!

Chris also suffers from the delusion that his [[duck|penis]] is [[Giant Penis Comic|huge]]. Unfamiliar with the concept of "inconsistency," he'll still claim the former. He also has a flaccidity problem, which is possibly a hormonal pathology or [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]]. Despite this obvious lack of virility, he is still a stud in his own mind.

Chris has advised little children to play with the opposite gender's toys. According to him, boys should get [[My Little Pony]]s, and girls ought to go for [[Transformers]], all to better understand the opposite gender. Go ahead, take advice from a 27-year-old virgin retard (seriously, don't). In his [[Sonichu 9|Dating ED]] comic, the teacher gave boys "Barbara" dolls, while the girls received "Robert" dolls. Disturbingly enough, these are the names of his parents. This is consistent with Freudian psychology - to a child, their parents are their model for sexual relationships. Of course, Chris's selfish ass doesn't realize that not everyone is lucky (if you could call it that) enough to have parents like his.

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of sexist tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. This view is supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.

To further reiterate just how straight he is, Chris released his infamous [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|dildo crushing video]], featuring a sign on the back of his foot — which he uses to proclaim that HE IS STRAIGHT for the 9001st time — containing a crude drawing of a female body, consisting of breasts and a hairy vagina. Because this is what all straight men do to assert their heterosexuality.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? LOL. I mean ''really''? In a ''children's'' comic? 'Cuz they know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew straight over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a third or fourth date with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his [[semen|navy]], or just is simply too retarded to figure out that masturbation ''itself'' is the sin, not spilling your DNA. Whatever the reason, it's hilarious. It should also be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. He also believes that premarital sex is okay as long as he's wearing a condom, because that means there will be a barrier between his [[duck]] and her [[china]]. Again, he doesn't understand that the sex itself is the sin, and not whether they're touching or not.

Despite being told many a time about these fallacies, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris has confronted Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. He can't hold a conservative view of homosexuality and a liberal view of fornication at the same time. Some might call this doublethink, but those who know better know it's just Chris being too retarded to understand hypocrisy.

In fact, Chris seems to consider a women sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video of his first full sexual intercourse]]. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public]]. This brazen attitude toward women only validates us with an image of what a woman is for Chris: a [[Megan Schroeder|living, sentient sex-toy]] existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|right]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan while calling out his partner's name.

Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

Chris having sex also involves shouting his lover's name (JUUULAAAAAAY!!!) in the same way an adolescent would shout out "PENIS" during the Penis Game — again, copying what he sees in porn. Chris constantly speaks in a monotone yet high pitched and feminine voice, without any real feeling.

Chris takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See also [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

Chris apparently thinks that homosexuality is contagious. He feels that spending time with men will turn him gay, so he insists on only having female friends ([[gal pal]]s). He admitted to using a ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' poster to stay straight. When he met a gay friend of [[Megan]]'s, he became hostile. In his apology letter to Megan, he had this to say:

{{quote|Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."'| Chris, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*" , Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm)}}

Chris's answers to [[Mailbag|fan mail]] suggest that he is bombarded by constant homoerotic thoughts and uses several unhealthy coping methods to suppress them:

{{quote|Although the gender change would be my "rather-to-do" over becoming a homo, but in your case, I would suggest looking at women more, fantasize yourself with their breasts and pussys [sic]; do this continuously. Hypnotize yourself; every time you have a homo thought, you will feel like you are being shocked by lightning and that it really hurts. And every time you fantasize women, breasts and pussy, you will feel calm, relaxed and good. But DO NOT hurt yourself physically for real; that would be really bad. In other words, you would be reprogramming your brain. | Chris, [[Mailbag 3]]}}

{{quote|First off, should such images enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever. | Chris, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

In an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC fan chat]], Chris went so far as wanting to make homosexuality illegal:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls".|Chris, 02 January 09, 11:59}}

When asked how he would go about this, he commented that homosexuals would be "taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]" and that "prisons will no longer be divided between gender." Take a moment to consider how twisted that would be. He justifies this by saying that "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." Apparently lazy, greedy, sexually lascivious, vengeful retards who wish damnation upon others are all part of God's divine plan.

Chris also believes his "straight" blood could be used to engineer some kind of anti-gay vaccine:

{{quote|Spoiler Alert: In the comic, during my time in the void, I end up at a later year when scientists have truly isolated the Homo Gene, and needed to isolate the Straight Gene to make the Vaccine. I Personally Volunter [sic] a bit of my blood, they find the Straight Gene, and I take a couple of syringes with me back into the void on my trek back to my time. Guess who will be the first to be injected and transformed back to his past self Permanently... [[Reldnahc]]. I took two syringes for in case one of them breaks or gets lost.| Chris, [[Mailbag 1]]}}

The true irony of Chris' homophobia lies in his own logic. Chris hates [[Jerks|every male on the face of the earth]] save his [[Bob Chandler|father]] due to numerous rejections from women, under the guise of them already having boyfriends. [[Dating education|Completely confident]] that he is a perfect Adonis and that there must be some other reason women reject him, Chris took their statements to heart and came up with the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. Now, if the the entire gay community were strapped down and tortured into being straight, Chris' already pathetically slim chances of finding a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] rocket down another notch, increasing the manchild's chances of dying alone, and the Gene Pool taking a step forward.

TL;DR: Chris want to force all men into being straight, even though it would be a step back for rational society, and — even by his own standards — bad for him.

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is a homo deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?

* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more.

* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.

* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).

* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.

* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, one should consider the fact that some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, autistic and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). Chris could very well not be genuinely interested in sex not due to asexuality, but because he genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. Just wait until he finds out that's not the definition of adulthood, that growing up brings things like responsibility, along with the expectation that you'll be able to support yourself and others, and have meaningful relationships. Don't worry, he won't. He never learns.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

==Pedophilia==
[[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|right|250px|"I AM NOT A PEDOFORK, YOU DORKS!"]]
To avoid looking like a pedophile, Chris made an announcement before [[Sonichu 8|issue 8]] that he was changing the ages of the characters so they could all legally have sex (in Virginia, at least. The age of consent for most states is 16). While retconning a character's age is hardly unusual, it's obvious in this case that he did it just so his recolors could have sexual relations — after all, why else would he make such a big announcement about retconning anyway?

Although the Sonichu series was originally intended for children, he put a bunch of porn into issue 8. This included (but was not limited to) graphic depictions of Sonichu and Rosechu having sex, and multiple instances of Rosechu stripping naked. One of the most notorious sequences came near the end of episode 17, where Rosechu face-raped [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to a near-death state after he taunted her by throwing a pickle at her. Also, towards the end of episode 17, an [[Zapina|anthropomorphic lightning bug]] exclaims "I've just turned 14-years cute!!!" and wishes to assist [[Rosechu]] in making porn for "[[women's rights]]." Rosechu says "I don't know child, what with the dumb laws." This quote is a good indicator that [[Pedofork|Chris believes the legal age should be lower.]] This belief was later confirmed in one of Chris's responses to [[troll|fan]] mail in [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]], where he states that if given the power, he would change the age of consent in America to "Sweet 16", making it "another good reason it would be a 'Sweet' age." He is obviously unaware that age of consent is controlled by the state, and most states already have it set at 16 or 17. But in Virginia, it's 18. He also believes that kids can participate in "adult" activities, like perverse satires with adult themes and making a porno, as long as there's adult supervision.

All of his attempts at a classified ad for himself always start with "I'm looking for an 18-2X boyfriend free girl…" At his age, being seen with a woman almost a decade younger than him would be considered socially unacceptable and downright creepy, based on the "half-your-age-plus-seven" tradition. Of course, Chris doesn't understand social mores regarding age differences, so to him, if she's legal and breathing, she's fit as a sexual partner. This, of course, may lead one to ask how low he'd go. If the legal age were, for example, 14, would he instead be saying "I'm looking for an 14-27 year old boyfriend-free girl…"?

In addition, Chris notoriously had sex with [[Kimmi]], an anime blow up doll that looks underage. He maintains that he stays straight by looking at a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]], which features said character and her 8 year old daughter from the future, and when he was editing his [[ED]] article in his favor, one of his accounts had underage porn featured prominently on the user page. Most of the underage porn from this user page, along with a few other pieces of pornographic art chosen by him (which, ironically enough, includes Pedobear… ''twice'') would reappear in the "elevator gag" in Sonichu #8. One might argue that because of his notoriously bad facial recognition, he might not realize how young they actually are. But as mentioned in the [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]], he is quite good at age recognition (a talent common among autistics). This obviously brings up many questions.

Chris also harbors a longing for 17-year-old [[Megan|Megan Griffin]] from [[Family Guy]], and even had a video in the favorites of his old YouTube account depicting her with inflatable breasts.{{cite}} His ED user page had a picture of her, proclaiming he would be more than willing to be her boyfriend. When he began to be harassed about being a pedophile, he changed it to say, "I'll be your boyfriend, 18-year-old Megan Griffin." Smooth, Chris. [[fail|''Reeeeeeal'' smooth]]. This took on a whole new level when he openly proclaimed a desire to have sex with Megan, though he kept himself in check enough to ask that the writers of Family Guy at least [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|age her to 18 before he somehow has sex with her]].

To be fair, there is evidence to suggest that even Chris has '''some''' degree of an age limit. In one of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Guru Larry's Interviews]] with him, Chris reacted in somewhat shock when Larry mentioned how another internet lolcow, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spax3 Spax3], allegedly has a crush on Cream the Rabbit, a six-year-old character from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series. Now this shock could mean that he looks down on someone going after someone so young or it could just be shock that someone shares a [[Love Quest|common interest]] with him... In addition to his shock he stated that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|bestiality]] is wrong, but of course he didn't mention the age factor. Whether this means Chris doesn't mind that or whether he's just an idiot (or [[For Julie's Eyes Only|both]]) is up for debate, but keep in mind his own original character [[Rosechu]] is based off [[Amy Rose]], another character from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, and one who is only twelve years old in canon.<ref>http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Amy_Rose</ref>

It's possible Chris only cares about getting his [[china]], and not so much how old it is. Then again, he doesn't ask for girls any older than him on his [[sign]], so clearly he [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|likes 'em young]], so to speak. But this also might be a throwback from his "old-fashioned" rearing, which demands that the woman must be younger.

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

Some argue that he only said that so he could get to [[PandaHalo|Panda's]] sweet china. But still — dude would have sexual intercourse with a dog.

Chris is a notorious furry, as he has used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|exceptions]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is. Another possible theory is, knowing the [[Chris and hypocrisy|level of maturity]] Chris displays every day, he's unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.). For this [[Autism|retarded]] reason, the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material while not really presenting anything.

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time}}

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

==Chris and rape==
{{Quote|I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.|Chris, a man that groped a [[Kacey|woman]] the first time he met her.}}
As Chris's sexual frustrations continue to build and build, some observers have raised the unsettling question of whether he might try to force himself on a woman. The possibility does seem real - his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]] provides many examples of his inability to understand the importance of respecting physical boundaries and the simple fact that "no means no."

Thanks to his characteristic lack of empathy, Chris has almost no grasp on how emotional and physical intimacies develop in the real-world. [[Anime]] and porn have taught him all the wrong lessons — he assumes that sex is something that just happens, and usually sooner rather than later. He quite literally follows the saying "rape is how they say 'hello' in Japan". Being a retard, he assumes that not only is that true, but that it applies to Western culture as well. He took it as a given that Megan would put out if he won the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest and took her to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]. In his conversations with [[Vivian Gee]], he professed a belief that sex automatically happens after the [[third date]]. During his feud with [[CChanSonichuCWC]], he seemed to think that he’d be able to get some if he lured his rival's girlfriend [[Kacey]] to his house, and never mind that she'd probably be able to tell the difference between Chris and her ''real'' boyfriend. This is him again believing that everyone is as stupid and terrible with faces as he is.

Whether Chris understands rape as a concept is up for debate. He claims that he knows what rape is, but at the very least, his self-absorption and lack of empathy mean that he doesn't understand the gravity of rape, or its long-term consequences for the victim. It is possible that the only reason he knows anything about rape is through porn, where it isn't portrayed as bad, and the girl always ends up enjoying it in the end.

As stated above, Chris has claimed that in his ideal world, homosexuals would be ''"taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]"''and that ''"prisons will no longer be divided between gender."'' It is unknown if Chris would obtain permission from the women before putting them to work "reprogramming" gay men, but the fact that he specifies prison inmates seems to imply that he doesn't expect the women to cooperate willingly. The fact that he believes prisons being co-ed would reduce the incidence of homosexuality shows that he is, on some level, aware that homosexual sex and rape occurs in prison, but he doesn't specify whether integration would allow men and women to have consensual relations or just shift the rape from male on male to male on female.

When [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|confronted with the news]] that his sweetheart [[PandaHalo]] had been raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and become pregnant as a result, Chris was easily distracted from the emotional impact of what had happened, and instead focused most of his attention on what kind of domestic arrangements would result, or whether he might have to forego his trip to Nintendo of America headquarters in order to pay for an abortion. His first reaction was to tell her that he wouldn't blame her or "hold it against [her]". Any woman assumes as long as her mate isn't a misogynistic asshole that he wouldn't blame her, and being "reassured" of such isn't exactly comforting or helpful. Chris was even willing to accept the mind-boggling possibility that Panda might want to live with Clyde, and raise her child alongside him.

While [[IRC (23 July 2009)|pretending to be a troll]] in an IRC conversation, Chris suggested twice that the trolls should instigate him to rape [[Rocky]]. What this says about Chris, be it that he actually wants to rape Rocky and then use the trolls as a convenient scapegoat ("They made me do it!"), or that he is particularly awful at bluffing, remains a mystery.

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris reveals that he had traveled forward in time and, aside from finding the cure for homosexuality, he also meets his "future wife", whom he rapes. More specifically, she thinks that Christian is his future self (of course, seeing how rapidly Chris appears to be aging now that he's dealing with the [[stress]] of everyone on the internet hating him, that seems unlikely) and proceeds to invite him home for some sexing. Chris seems to think that there's nothing wrong with having sex with a woman if she thinks you're someone you're not. Chris falls back on the old standby, "if she didn't say no, it's not rape." Like his stance on [[Women's Rights]], where he maintains he's not a chauvinist because he'd never physically abuse a woman, Chris fails to realize that there's more to it than that.

In his video [[IPods Down and Listen Up]], Chis went as far as literally "singing" about sexual assault with him as the "star" rapist. The lyrics describe the victim as a "[[Niggos|sleek, sexy panther]]" whom he fails to ambush as she flees. Then [[Sonichu's Edge|he chases her]], wear her out and, in his own words, ''"...You take it like a gal (gal), and then we pump (pump-pump, pump) ..."'' until impregnation. Then he describes his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|bastard children]]. There's nothing more [[Hello, Juffalo|sickening than this]].

In the face all these foreboding implications, however, it helps to keep a few practical facts in mind. Chris is a [[Chris and health|physically decrepit]] coward with an incredibly low threshold of pain. If he ever attempted to assault a woman, he probably wouldn’t get very far. For the sake of all involved, anyway, let's hope so. This is assuming that he doesn't squash her first with his [[obesity|massive girth]], in which case, there would be a problem.

== TL;DR ==
Chris is about as straight as his [[duck]].

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User talk:Toughdog6789

2010-02-05T02:11:41Z

Toughdog6789: read the intro, explained why i blanked that page to an admin. wanted a fresh discuss page

User:Toughdog6789

2010-02-05T02:06:29Z

Toughdog6789: I was part of operation restore, check my uploads

== How I found out about our manchild friend ==

The first time I saw CWC was when my friend sent me a link to his video about homo's using Axe Body Spray, but I never really followed up on it or asked who he was, I just thought it was a dumbass making a stupid video. Then, one day, while browsing ED, I stumbled upon CWC's page, I can't recall exactly HOW I got there, but the first thing I saw was the GIF of that fat sack of shit jumping up and down, and I clicked on the link which led to the video of him screaming "MY NAME IS NOT IAN BRANDON SOMETHING". From there I started reading about him little by little, then I found out he had his own wiki, so I checked it out, and was disappointed that all the articles where about sonichu, as I wanted to read what this flaming rainbow thought of himself. I had heard about CWCki, but didn't think it would be that interesting of a site, until a few weeks later, I somehow (again, I forget exactly how) ended up on this site, and found out that this site is fucking hilarious, so instead of using ED as my source for all that's autistic, fat and dumb as dirt, I've switched to CWCki, since theres no wierd shit (hidden ads, virus warnings) on here like there is on ED, and that CWC's life is just so fascinatingly stupid that I wanted to be a part of the only site (that I know of) that's dedicated to all that's CWC.

{{Americunt}}
{{GrammarNazi}}
{{EDUser}}
{{Scamper}}
{{RestoreMedal}}

Template talk:Mexicant

2010-02-05T02:03:38Z

Toughdog6789: Created page with '==WTF?!== *These mother fuckers get paid more then me!!!--~~~~'

==WTF?!==
*These mother fuckers get paid more then me!!!--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 02:03, 5 February 2010 (UTC)

User:Toughdog6789

2010-02-05T01:53:41Z

Toughdog6789:

User:Toughdog6789

2010-02-05T01:51:17Z

Toughdog6789: /* How I found out about our manchild friend */

Category talk:Templates

2010-02-05T01:44:53Z

Toughdog6789: i keep forgetting my fucking siggy

== Free to make our own templates? ==
*Can I make a template I've been wanting to make for the longest time, are we allowed to just make templates and post them? (assuming they aren't just stupid shit of course)--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 01:17, 5 February 2010 (UTC)
:*This is a wiki, that's what you do on wikis, you don't need anyone's permission, just do it. Only thing is don't be a fuckup about it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:38, 5 February 2010 (UTC)
:**Alright. How do I make it appear on the template list? Do I just add the template category thing to the bottom of the page?--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 01:44, 5 February 2010 (UTC)

Category talk:Templates

2010-02-05T01:44:36Z

Toughdog6789: /* Free to make our own templates? */

Dumbass

2010-02-05T01:34:29Z

Toughdog6789: Redirected page to Chris

#REDIRECT [[Chris]]

Depression

2010-02-05T01:33:44Z

Toughdog6789: thought this was appropriate

#REDIRECT [[Stress]]

Depressed

2010-02-05T01:32:54Z

Toughdog6789: Redirected page to Stress

#REDIRECT [[Stress]]

Depressed

2010-02-05T01:31:42Z

Toughdog6789: amidoinitrite?

#REDIRECT [[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Stress]]

Depressed

2010-02-05T01:30:40Z

Toughdog6789: Blanked the page

Depressed

2010-02-05T01:30:10Z

Toughdog6789: Created page with '# REDIRECT stress'

# REDIRECT [[stress]]

Category talk:Templates

2010-02-05T01:17:48Z

Toughdog6789:

Category talk:Templates

2010-02-05T01:17:22Z

Toughdog6789:

== Free to make our own templates? ==
*Can I make a template I've been wanting to make for the longest time, are we allowed to just make templates and post them?--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 01:17, 5 February 2010 (UTC)

Category talk:Templates

2010-02-05T01:17:08Z

Toughdog6789: Created page with '== Free to make our own templates? == *Can I make a template I've been wanting to make for the longest time, are we allowed to just make templates and post them?'

== Free to make our own templates? ==
*Can I make a template I've been wanting to make for the longest time, are we allowed to just make templates and post them?

April 16 Fetish Vids

2010-02-05T01:13:42Z

Toughdog6789: minor fix

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|right|The [[April 16 Fetish Vids]] also include a set of photos, showing [[Chris]] wearing [[butt garments|diapers]].]]
{{Honest}}

The '''April 16 Fetish Vids''' is a set of 3 videos and a handful of photos, showing [[Christian Weston Chandler]] engaged in different explicit and shocking practices. The footage was released by [[The Miscreants]] on 16 April [[2009]].

==Fanta: Semen Flavor==

{{quote|Who Loves Orange Soda?|Kel}}
===Transcript===

''[Chris appears in his room, dressed in a green bathrobe. His hair is disheveled.]''

This is for my sweetest [[Ivy|Ivy's]] eyes only.

''[Chris holds up a small disposable cup made of clear plastic. A thick, white liquid rests in a thin layer along the bottom.]''

Here's some of my, uh, [[Semen|cum]] I just masturborted out.

''[He points at his own semen in the cup and brings it even closer to the camera.]''

'Bout to that much, that's usually a lot.

''[Chris holds a can of Fanta orange soda near the camera. He wears his [[Amnyfest Ring]] on his hand.]]

Couldn't find any [[Obesity|chocolate syrup]], but I have some orange soda.

''[Chris cracks open the can of Fanta. He fills the bottom third of the [[Fapcup]] with soda. He swishes the soda and semen around, with an extremely disquieting smirk on his face.]''

Well... bottoms up!

''[He tilts back his head and drinks the cup of semen and Fanta.]''

There you go, Ivy, orange-flavored cum. Hope you enjoyed that!

===Screen caps===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cumguzzlingchris1.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris2.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris3.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris4.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris5.jpg
Image:Cumguzzlingchris6.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

Can be viewed here: [http://www.slutload.com/watch/M20g7MWCNa5/Chris-chan-Fanta-and-Cum.html]

* Download: [http://www.mediafire.com/?7yw5fyttez9]

==Spank Dat Ass==
===Transcript===
''[Chris is dressed in a green bathrobe and nothing else. He looks at the camera, kneels on his filthy, yellowed matress and begins spanking himself. He doesn't do a very good job.]''

Oh, I'm sorry for being...

''[spanks self]''

Uh!

''[spanks self]''

Oh!

''[spanks self]''

Yeah!

''[spanks self]''

A bit harder!

''[spanks self]''

Oh, I'm sorry!

''[spanks self]''

Oh Ivy, that smarts!

''[rubs ass]''

Aah.

===Screen caps===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Spanking1.jpg
Image:Spanking2.jpg
Image:Spanking3.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

* Download: [http://www.mediafire.com/?9zgntjn3tl5]

==How NOT to take a Shower==
{{quote|C'mon, let's go do it in the bedroom!|Chris, ever classy}}

===Transcript===
''[A disgusting shower stall is shown. The grout is black with mildew and there are large blotchy brown stains on the tile. Two rolls of toilet paper appear in the foreground. Suddenly, the giant fat ass of a white male enters the frame.]''

Hey Ivy! May I have this dance?

''[Christian extends his hand towards the shower, which is empty except for mold and fungus. He steps inside, and begins a naked slow dance in his shower. His body is only visible from the chest down and his body is completely shaved. His skin tone is hard to describe due to the lighting but looks unhealthy. His hands are clenched tightly, as if he is holding the hands of a small child. About 25 seconds in he tries to twirl, and has a hard time turning his body around. He stumbles off-balance and catches himself against the wall. He then holds one arm up like he's twirling his imaginary dance partner. At 50 seconds in he makes a hugging motion and leans forward as if kissing his pretend Internet girlfriend.]''

Oh yeah, c'mon, let's go do it in the bedroom. Let's go Ivy. I'll help you.

''[Chris steps out of the tub and walks towards the camera, bringing his tiny, hairless, shrunken genitals extremely close to the camera. He fumbles at the camera for a second and it shuts off.]''

===Screen caps===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg|Oh god that grout.
Image:Assofterror.jpg|In the actual video it jiggles alarmingly.
Image:Goodbyehorses.jpg|Chris shows off his dance moves to the <s>camera</s> mold and mildew.
Image:Fallingoffbalance.jpg|Chris lightens the mood of an otherwise intensely disturbing moment by almost falling on his face.
Image:Doitinthebedroom.jpg|"Let's do it in the bedroom!"
Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|HA HA HA HA HA!
</gallery>
</center>

Can be viewed here: [http://www.slutload.com/watch/BiQqrpqIPub/Chris-chan-takes-a-Shower.html]

* Download: [http://www.mediafire.com/?htymxy4incb]

==Really? This fetish?==
A set of pictures showing Chris wearing diapers (nappies to Eurofags), or, as Chris calls them, [[butt garments]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ecp00063.jpg
Image:HelloSpas.jpg
Image:Ecp00065.jpg
Image:Ecp00066.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

* Download: [http://www.mediafire.com/?ujy9stnezvm]

 
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A CWC Audition]]|nextlink=[[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Trolling]]

Chris and copyright

2010-02-05T00:44:52Z

Toughdog6789: The only thing that is documented as his is the WORD sonichu, there is no record of him copyrighting jack fucking shit, other then the word sonichu.

[[Image:SonichuCertificate.jpg|thumb|Chris's copyright registration certificate]]
{{Quote|...anyone using my characters and all Without My Consent are Criminals, and such people should be reported to the Police immediately.|[[Chris]]|[[CWCipedia]]'s Copyright page}}

Like with many things, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a very obscure idea of what '''copyright''' entails. He believes that all copyrighting something involves is [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|<nowiki>[putting]</nowiki> a little C-In-A-Circle and <nowiki>[his]</nowiki> John Hancock]].

Chris doesn't even know what a copyright ''is,'' legally speaking. He can't ''copyright'' [[Sonichu]], but he could '''trademark''' Sonichu. He could copyright individual works using Sonichu. Too bad he doesn't know anything about anything.

== Sonichu as a copyrightable work ==
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Crooks!]]
In Chris's mind, it's perfectly reasonable to take two very popular fictitious characters and mash them both together in a [[Fail|failtastic]] [[rainbow]] of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|incestous]] [[Sonichu|electric]] [[Rosechu|rodents]]. This means you've created a completely new thing, and therefore are entitled to the rights of said "Original Characters" regardless of how crappy, ''un''original and disgusting they may be.

Here in real life, however, any work that uses ''previously copyrighted work'' as a basis is a derivative work; this means that while it can be copyrighted by the creator, it cannot be published without permission of the original copyright holders. There are very specific exceptions to this rule. One way to avoid this is to simply not use too much of the previous work's material to begin with: complete works or significant portions of them are copyrightable, but you ''can'' steal general vague ideas as much as you want (and Chris is stealing way too much to qualify for this). Another would be Fair Use: use the copyrighted work to provide criticism, journalistic or educational information, or parody (of which more later). In short, Chris has no excuse.

Moreover, any attempt to argue that Sonichu is not a derivative work would be entirely self-demolishing. Sonichu is ''explicitly'' stated to be a fusion of two existing characters, both by Chris as its creator and in the comic story itself. Chris has worked the fact that the two original characters were merged into Sonichu's backstory and the Sonichuverse in general. His process of incorporating copyrighted properties into his works is both ''unabashed'' and ''deep-rooted''. He ''can't'' talk his way out of this.

Apparently, the idea of Sonichu being a publishable work stems way back into the character's creation. According to [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Chris's]] [[Sonichu (character)|"autobiography"]], when Chris ended up backed into a corner as to what to put onto a CD cover, he decided to fuse Sonic and Pikachu, whom he couldn't use because of they were copyrighted characters, and turn them into Sonichu. When his teacher accepted the portmanteau character, Chris automatically assumed that he was free to create his multimedia empire from them. In [[Father Call|call with Kacey's father]], he also says his father said he had been in the clear with the beginning as far as copyright is concerned.

So let's remember that Chris is so [[naive]] that he would treat the advice of his high-school teacher as if it were the law of the land.

== Chris as an enforcer of rights ==
[[Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|thumb|right|Don't look right into their eyes.]]
Chris is very paranoid regarding his copyright, and will frequently [[CWC Public Disclaimer|hand out all of his personal information to complete strangers]] if he thinks it is being contested. This has backfired in a plethora of astounding ways.

Chris has encouraged people to report copyright infringements to the police. The police, unfortunately, can't do much when random citizens report ''civil offenses'' such as copyright infringement. Even if Chris ''had'' the rights to the works in question, suing people for copyright infringement would be Chris's job and his job alone, or that of a representative whom he has specifically appointed to that specific task.

Unsurprisingly, Chris is a total and complete hypocrite when it comes to abusing the work of other creators. In the span of nine issues, Chris pulls characters and concepts from numerous franchises and even goes so far as to steal "original" characters from [[trolls|fans]] and [[sweethearts]] without an ounce of due respect to their creators. It's easy to say that, if Chris were to make money off Sonichu ''somehow'', he could easily be sued by those who created the characters he stole.

Even worse, Chris refuses to listen to anyone, especially the original creators of his "original" characters, when they know Chris has done wrong. The best example would be the ever-continuing fight between [[Evan]] and Chris over the character [[Simonla]]. When Evan demanded that Chris remove Simonla from the comics in an on-screen death, Chris refused because ''it would take Wild Sonichu's girlfriend away''. That's right: Chris refuses to remove a character because of a meaningless throw-away relationship between minor characters. As time went on, Chris has fought tooth and nail to keep Simonla in, going so far as to write out a scenario where Simonchu appears in CWCVille, tries to bring Simonla back, only to be beaten back by Wild and forces Simonchu to return and tell Evan Simonla likes it there, proclaiming it's his "Great Director Chandler" powers that lets him do it.

===Copyright registration===
It appears that Chris has actually paid $45, and somehow got <s>[http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?v1=1&ti=1,1&Search%5FArg=Sonichu&Search%5FCode=TALL&CNT=10&PID=ZvDUHHsi-vkzrRWQU2p5oLpU7yxe&SEQ=20091106120549&SID=1 Sonichu approved by The United States Copyright Office]</s> the word "Sonichu" copyrighted (The only thing that is documented as his is the WORD sonichu, there is no record of him copyrighting jack fucking shit, other then the word sonichu.). In 12 November 2009, he also posted a scan of the confirmation letter he received to [[CWCipedia]] and posted a highly predictable [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|my-heart-level-just-went-to-100%-again video]].

Psychologically, this copyright registration represents a big win for Chris, because it gives him what he thinks are bragging rights ''even'' though he has no idea what the copyright registration ''actually'' means. In his confused state, receiving a registration from the US Copyright Office means that he has been right the whole time and now he ''officially'' has all imaginable intellectual property rights regarding his character and creations. In his mind, he now has the right and the power to tell everybody how Sonichu may or may not be used. The most annoying thing about this is that unless Chris actually sues someone or someone sues Chris, we can't make him shut up about it - the state of intellectual property legislation is such that people can make all sorts of weird assertions ("I patented forks and knives ''when used over the Internet''"), and if someone's wrong, that is up for the courts to settle.

Now, here in reality, copyright registration is not an official ''recognition'' of copyright. It is an officially registered ''assertion'' that a person or company has created a specific work at specific date. Every new work automatically has copyright whether it's registered or not. The registration of copyright is only required if you're suing people for copyright infringement. One party asserts that a work has been created at one time, another party has used the work at another time, and then it's up to a judge to decide who is in the right. If Nintendo or Sega sue Chris, they can easily demonstrate that they've held the rights to original characters like Sonic and Pikachu and Chris's work is derivative. More important, Chris does ''not'' have a trademark on Sonichu; he has never had it, and this registration doesn't have anything to do with trademark rights.

We know Chris messed the registration up, but the sad thing is that without complete documentation of exactly what he submitted, we may never know exactly ''how'' badly Chris messed this up. The documentation Chris published doesn't show exactly what he submitted. The application appears to be for "digital files", which is probably to say specific image files, created in 2000. (We'd need actual documents, because Chris will probably say that he has ''official'' copyright on a ''character'' he created in 2000 and babble some more confused nonsense.) It's also possible that he has submitted files that ''weren't'' created in 2000, and he's just insisting that the ''character'' was created at that time. These kinds of distinctions and little details can be extremely important in a court of law.

'''IN SHORT:''' Chris's copyright registration doesn't mean his comics are non-infringing.

=== Use of copyright notices ===
The way he maintains his so-called copyrights within his works is also baffling. It's possible Chris goes by the assumption that almost everything he draws must contain copious amounts of copyright notices, usually in the form of this disclaimer, written in large cursive any third-grader would be embarrassed to maintain (pity any poor bank employee who must look at his checks);

{{quote|© Christian Weston Chandler, March 2000-????}}

However, only '''daily''' newspaper comic strips have constant notices reminding about copyright due to their daily nature, and usually these notices are edited out of strip compilation books for basic aesthetic purposes. In most forms of media throughout the world, one copyright notice at the beginning of the work is enough to assert rights, and only the year is noted in a copyright notice. The way his copyrights are written, they are not in the traditional "mouse type" which is unobtrusive to most readers, but in large written letters which distract incredibly from his work.

Finally, the year of the creation of a certain work, not the year it was created, is what should be noted in the copyright; for example [[Sonichu 10]] should be "''© 2009-2010 CWC''" (abbreviations are allowed in notices), '''not''' the example listed above. Going by this, if a copyright lawyer were hired by Chris in an attempt to maintain his copyrights, it would be questioned and likely Chris would lose his case because the date of copyright and release were conflicting and incorrect.

Chris also obsessively includes copyright symbols in pictures he draws of Sonichu, including a picture he drew in the snow in his [[Holiday Greetings]] video and a doodle he drew on his ticket to the 2005 [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention.

===Chris's motivations===
Chris doesn't really understand what his copyright registration means and what it might or might not be good for, practically speaking. To him, it's mainly just a crutch for his ego. In the aftermath of his feud with [[Liquid Chris]], he sees it as the final and clinching proof that he himself is the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu. On 26 November 2009, he posted the following as part of an announcement on [[CWCipedia]], which is quite illuminating:

{{quotebox|Also, I have been thinking, although all Sonichu "Merchandise" sold online in the past I have labeled false; I did that, because it came as a surprise to me then, I felt outraged appropriately (most everyone can relate to that; it's comparable to if Godzilla or Clover came to YOUR Metropolis and suddenly attacked your city). I realize now that even though it is still considerably Not Official, it all still is an homage to my creation. So I will make it clear to ALL those Vendors.

As long as it is NOT printed copies of my books' pages, or bootlegged copies of my "Christian Weston Chandler, Yep, I'm On T.V." DVD, AND As Long As I am quoted on ALL websites' and vendors' locations as Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all of such, I, Christian Weston Chandler, approve of such merchandise from Day Forward. At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera and such.

I have spoken, and I wish everyone a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

--ChrisChanSonichu 02:17, 26 November 2009 (CET) }}

Translated from the jackass, he's saying that he doesn't actually understand or care about the legal and economic ramifications of other people using his supposed intellectual property, so long as he's the one that gets the credit, not some impostor in brown stripes. Money isn't as important to him as his precious e-fame.

==Chris's views==
{{main|Parody}}
Chris is VERY protective of his characters. Well, as protective as an autistic manchild could be to such unoriginal monstrosities. Chris believes that his characters are officially parodies, thus, he is allowed to create his multimedia empire on a legal loophole. What Chris fails to realize that is that parodies are essentially just mockeries of something they're based on, done for laughs or as a commentary on the original work.

Some examples: [[Wikipedia:"Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic's]] songs are considered parodies; note, however, that he obtains permission from artists whose songs he covers, going through the necessary legal process to make his work. He also does his own work, including pastiche of artists' styles, and impressively so, with a Devo frontman commenting that Weird Al's [[Transformers|"Dare to Be Stupid"]] encompassed his entire body of works in one gag tune. It's a known fact that Yankovic actually has one of the tightest, most competent legal team in music to make sure his parodies don't get him in legal trouble down the road. [[Wikipedia:Mel Brooks|Mel Brooks's]] works are considered parodies, but his most famous parodies either use works from the public domain (such as ''Young Frankenstein,'' based on the novel and done in the ''style of'' classic Frankenstein films) or cover similar plot points without actually lifting characters. Likewise, the creators of another famous parody, ''Airplane!'', acquired the rights to a film they were very closely parodying so there would be no legal trouble. Works that "parody" scenes by copying them verbatim, like ''Scary Movie'' or [[Family Guy|a certain animated sitcom]], are usually looked down upon for simply relying on [[Random Access Humor|constant references]] in lieu of actually parodying the original work.

Sonichu and Rosechu are ''not'' parodies, just shitty recolors. As mentioned on the "parody" page, Chris doesn't mean to make fun of the characters they're based on, he slavishly imitates the kind of adventures they have in an attempt to tell his own stories. The stories he makes aren't commentaries on the style or message or story of Sonic or Pokémon; he simply lifts elements and characters wholesale in lieu of creating his own world. Even his most original characters are either based on [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|someone he knows]] or [[Flame the Sunbird|are cribbed extensively from existing characters]]. He might be able to claim a trademark on Flame the Sunbird, of all characters, because he's merely relentlessly derivative as opposed to stolen wholesale. The non-Chris-Chan core of the comics, though, most certainly cannot.

Regardless of how much claim he's ''really'' entitled to, Chris will make a great deal of noise about protecting his work when he feels it is being threatened. Whenever he finds his work being used elsewhere without his permission, he ends up demanding that the offending work be taken down within 14 days or he will pursue legal action, sometimes accompanied by a picture of Chris and Sonichu glaring at the offender as if they can actually ''do'' something. Thus far, there is no evidence of Chris actually pursuing legal action against anyone.

With the use of Sonichu, the Chaotic Combo and Chris himself in the [[Asperchu]] comics, Chris has used a brand new method to get his characters away from others - by [[death threats]].

== See also ==

*[[CChanSonichuCWC]]
*[[Jimmy Hill]]
*[[Parody]]
*[[Asperchu]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:Toughdog6789

2010-02-04T00:58:24Z

Toughdog6789:

Chris and money

2010-02-04T00:44:12Z

Toughdog6789: /* But wait, Chris isn't employed! */

It's obvious that [[Chris]] himself has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on luxuries like [[Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], and, more recently, [[alcohol]]. He also once, when giving out the laws of [[CWCville]], equated 10 years in prison to a $1,500 fine. He also equated 50 hours of community service to $500 (for any sexual violations).

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His PSN account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' PS3 game that he's ever purchased, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely cost at least about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris buys his clothes at second-hand discount thrift stores.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed! ==

Chris is what most would call a welfare leech. Chris's only source of income is the $800 [[monthly tugboat|"tugboat"]] that he receives from the federal government every month. Chris's parents take $450 to pay for room and board.<ref>Miyamoto Saga</ref>

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. |Chris, completely deluded.}}

It appears that [[Bob]] encourages Chris not to get a job, as it would void his Social Security status. Bob's encouragement indicates one of two things: he knows his son is a [[fail]]ure and wants him to stop trying, or he's instructing Chris on being a parasite.

Chris strongly believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34]]</ref> Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy fixation on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff; and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond.

==Credit cards==

As surprising as it is that Chris has his own credit cards, it is equally unsurprising how unwisely he uses them. Chris has managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (according to [[Mumble 4]], 1000 of which comes from the PSN store, but this number has increased over the past few weeks) and has even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his were maxed out. Being the greedy twat that he is, when Chris finally does make payments towards his debts, he always does so in the smallest installments possible, freeing himself to spend as much as he has (or more) on worthless [[LittleBigPlanet|shit]], entirely oblivious to the fact that he's only increasing his debt by letting interest charges rack up. Economists are currently working on the theory that it is Chris's debts, not the collapse of financial institutions, which have caused the current global financial crisis.

==Debtors==

Based on current projections, it won't be long before the repo men are called in and Chris is forced to forfeit his [[PlayStation 3|shit]]. And considering that Chris has an unnatural obsession with his worthless crap we can expect a lot of BAWWWWING when the day comes. We eagerly await the inevitable inclusion of the Jerkollectors, or perhaps the Repo Gang, in future comics. Debt, like anything else that represents a challenge to his [[Autism|ignorant bliss]], is just another example of the world trying to keep him down.

If only he had taken money from the loan sharks, maybe then would they beat the crap out of his HFA ass. Chris would only continue spending, of course, and definitely bitch about it on [[YouTube]].

==In the comic==

In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely, all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21|"paid" in average of $3,500 a month just to hang around]].

This, along with what else we know about CWCville, could mean that Chris is a communist, or at the very least, a socialist. Of course, he's most likely too much of a retard to actually know what that means.

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]] it's shown that CWCVille actually uses their own currency, in the form of C Quarters, W Quarters, and C Quarters. 10 C Quarters make up a W Quarter, and 10 W Quarters make up a C Quarter. Don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, especially considering [[Fail|what the word 'quarter' means]].

==In other works==

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American Social Security system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]". This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. |Chris with a very bad idea...}}

So, what is a "Soup Hotel"? Chris describe it in the [[Mailbag 20]] as a building ten stories floor tall with 10 to 20 rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and Cable TV. Of course, the homeless will stay there for free. So, instead of building Homeless shelters with dormitories, commons rooms and shared TV sets, Chris think the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a Bona-Fide hotel. This means that, in CWCville, there's around 1000-2000 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, chocked by heavy taxes needed to pay those [[Monthly Tugboat|social expenses]], are unable to make a profit there and are moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open 7 new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things.

In [[Mailbag 29]] he states that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of [[CWCville|state-run]] brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp (which would be a redundant middleman in a state-approved brothel), pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for virgins. In real life, Chris tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] (who was charging $100 for the hour) by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him.

==See also==

*[[Monthly tugboat]] - what Chris calls his welfare check.

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Chris-chan]]

CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation

2010-02-03T23:51:05Z

Toughdog6789:

The '''CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation''' is a set of videos that [[Chris]] is releasing in order to sell the [[Sonichu]] franchise to others. Note that "Personal Sonichu Presentation" can be shortened to PSP.

Chris imagines that he is speaking directly to "businesspeople" who might invest in the commercial development of Sonichu. In the first video, he delivers a brief history of Sonichu's creation, and also displays a few Sonichu-related creations beyond his comics and his famous medallion, including crude clay sculptures of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] and a "[[Sonic]] versus Sonichu" racing board game. He concludes by claiming that he plans to complete between 50 and 100 Sonichu comics in his lifetime. If he keeps up his current pace, he will have reached the minimum goal in 2029.

The second video is substantially less coherent. Chris loses the plot as far as attempting to sell his character and settles down to narcissistic wallowing in his supposed personal achievements and his fantasies of a vast international Sonichu fandom. He spends several minutes showing off fan art submitted by [[trolls]], all of which is unsurprisingly far better than anything Chris himself could ever dream of drawing. He also seems to have revived his old dreams of a Pokémon video game or trading card expansion starring Sonichu, which suggests he has forgotten the conclusion of the [[Miyamoto Saga]] or managed to actively push those events out of his mind.

Perhaps his most impressively deluded fantasy involves the prospect of a [[Fan:Sonichu: The Animated Series|Sonichu animated series]]. He believes that [[Sony]] would be interested in developing the show, that the [[Adult Swim|Cartoon Network]] would be interested in broadcasting the show, and that he would direct and star as the voice of himself and Sonichu. (He briefly shows off his "Sonichu voice," an almost indistinguishably higher-pitched version of his normal voice.)

As usual, Chris displays a shocking lack of awareness concerning the actual commercial viability of his character. (Hint: it has none.) He also, once again, fails to realize that giving out your home address, home phone number, mobile phone number, and other key bits of personal information in a video that's publicly available on [[YouTube]] is not such a hot idea.

In addition to uploading the videos to YouTube, Chris also made a page for these presentations on the [[CWCipedia]]. He also attempted to upload the follow-up PowerPoint presentation videos, but failed, possibly because either the video files were corrupt or he actually thought .ppt files were video files compatible with YouTube.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 1
| image = {{#ev:youtube|w_XTQhBp3v0}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 23 November 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Comics.png]] [[Comic]] [[Image:Fanartn.PNG]] [[:Category:Fan art|Fanart]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Classicshirt.png]] Classic
| previous = [[14 November 2009]]
| next = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2|CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 2]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[''The song ''Sonic Boom'' is playing on the PS3 behind Chris, at times loud enough to make Chris hard to understand.''] Mmm. HELLO, w—hello there muh-business people! Welcome to world of [[CWCville]], Virginia, [''Chris fidgets with his [[Medallion of Fail]]''] and the world of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]] of [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], [[14 Branchland Court]], ZIP code 22968. And, uh, my home phone number is (434) 990-0198, my cell phone being 760-0848.

Anyway, I am here today to talk to you about d—revolutionary geh—leviloutionary lil' character that WILL [''jump cut''] pah, uh—will make a lot of [[money]], because he's already been innernet-famous fer about 20—fer almost 10 years now. [''pulls out a [[Scrapbook of Fail|Sonichu binder]] and holds it up to the camera''] His name is Sonichu. The l'il, real electric hedgehog [[Pokémon]] right here. [''points to Sonichu on cover of [[Sonichu 0|Issue 0]], then starts to put away the binder''] You'll find out more about him. You can learn more about him and read [''holds the binder back up to the camera''] the comic books—comic book pages I've written—I've drawn and written so far [''puts the binder away this time''] on [[CWCipedia]], which, uh, the address to that would be next to this [[YouTube]] video in da details.

Anyway, we are here t—t—anyway yeah. His or—his origin is basically... yeah, first off, uh, we have to c—look at the—my big BOOK here. [''pulls out a different, giant binder''] Look how big that book is. So thick, I had to get ANOTHER BOOK. [''hefts a second equally huge binder''] Heh. [''sets second binder down'']

Anyway, [''sets giant binder down and opens it''] it all s—[''video skips''] Anyway, uh... upon the cre—uh, upon the physical—upon the mental creation of Sonichu, it originally came to me, because, for one—for a computer graphics class back in high school, I had to create a CD cover for... [''wipes his forehead with his sleeve''] a CD that's, uh, was not to be sold anywhere, but, anyway. Made for fun, but—so, I drew up a...—a—this—this CD cover right here [''holds up a binder page showing [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''] and this—this—this was Sonichu's first a—forst official appearance. Front and back on the ins—on the insert. If, anyway, uh, basically, [''video skips''] the—uh, the idea came to me, like, you know, yeah, I wanted to use Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu on the cover of my CD, but they're both copyrighted characters, and previously-copyrighted characters were not allowed. So, uh, after lunch, uh, during that same day, in da [[Manchester High School]] with my teacher Miss Naelie Chalifoux, thank'a very much, I have...—it just dawned upon me, with, uh, merging together, in combination of the two, and then Sonichu was born.

Now that and then [[homos|in da but]] storywise, he was born—he—he was born amidst the, uh, s—sitcha—situation in Station Square whereas portray—previous portrayed in the ''Sonic Adventure'' game, available on Dreamcast and Nintendo GameCube. Ay—yeah, but during the battle, the Chaos Monster, Super Sonic, ran into a spystanding Pikachu and, uh, transformed in—into Sonichu... as that was also—as the origins also described in the ''Number Zero'' book on the—on the CWCipedia.

[''reaches for glasses, then reconsiders and wipes his forehead with his arm'']

Now, the, uhh...—now, Sonichu's appeal—Sonichu and Rosechu's appeal: yeah, mainly, the, uhh, appeal was... t—aimed towards children... and, uhh, there was the start of the books, there. We got little toys here, I put togetter. Even a—even a board game, where we put the boards... right here. Sonic vs. Sonichu, a little racing-type game, but it's a l'il—it's a little bit Monopoly-style, with game ca—with, uhh, cards that you pick up... uhn, and shortcuts. Anyway, that is, uhh, part of the, uhh, merchandising thing that I plan on branching out with... in the world of Sonichu, eventually. As, uhh, p—as portrayed—as previously-mentioned in a YouTube video, I have the official registration copyright of Sonichu... and Rosechu and the C-uh-CWCville, in my—in my own name, and that—and that is also accessible on the CWCipedia: the scan of that... actual piece of paper that came from the Virginia Library of Congress.

[''opens binder and sighs'']

Anyway, yeah, I got a ''whole'' bunch of history here. All my history. It comes, like, you know, from creation... with, uhh...—to making, uhh, to a whole bunch of stories, and from, uhh...—and even, uhh, made a title(?)... for it in my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]], which was, uhh—which I believe I told Nintendo of America about... in a previous letter or two. Anyway, yeah, it was—it was very—it was very lucrative, and... we do play(?) a buncha—even on DVD, of, like, on my live DVD that's called [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|''CWC... Christian Weston Chandler... That's Me. Yep, I'm on TV!'']] Uhh, C-''Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm on TV!'' That's the name of the DVD. So, if it comes out on DVD, I hope to get it on... Blu-ray, as well. And, also, I've created the, uhh—a couple of Sonich—a, uhh, level S—for Sonichu, on ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', Sony—on Sony [[PlayStation 3]]... which, uhh, is called "Sonichu Episode 0". You can look it up; my [[PSN]] ID is ''Sonichu'': S-o-n-i-c-h-u. ...Anyway, e—e—following this, uhh, video... there will be a... video where, uhh... it will be presented live from my PC: a PowerPoint presentation that can better describe... the situation. Anyway, with the count of books, I plan—I plan on drawing, at least, in my lifetime, hopefully, between fifty to a hundred books.

==Part 2==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 2
| image = {{#ev:youtube|VorW1ExsuAM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 23 November 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Comics.png]] [[Comic]] [[Image:Fanartn.PNG]] [[:Category:Fan art|Fanart]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Classicshirt.png]] Classic
| previous = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Video|CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 1]]
| next = [[Sonichu Powerpoint]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[''Picking up where the first video left off.'']

By which, uh, definitely more will be a re—a ra—around Sonichu, after I, which I have dubbed myself the [[CWCville|Mayor of CWCville]], in this glorious shopping, this glorious two-story shopping mall, ah, that is glorious. I actually have, uh, plans that I have, uh, made in Computer Aided Drafting and Design, which I will present through this video, near the end of it—near the end of this video.

[''He begins flipping through a thick three-ring binder.'']

Anyway, yeah, got a whooole bunch of stuff here. Yeah, we can definitely franchise 'n' all this, you know. Even ideas of a ''Pokémon: Lightning Version'', where players can catch Sonichu and Rosechu in the wild, even breeding them to make the other individual electric hedgehog characters that are—have been portrayed in the book, such as Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy, and Magi-Chan, among others that have also been created as well, due—due—due to, you know, processes of the evolution stones, and daytime/nighttime evolutions, friendship, all that good stuff. All in the—the files here, including their little baby forms Sonee and Rosee, to evolutions from original Sonichu and Rosechu....

[''He displays the Sonichu and Rosechu figures again.'']

...Metonic and Vamprosa. Those characters are also featured on the CWCipedia. At least on Sonichu's page; I'm planning on making a page for Rosechu herself on that note. But, anyway, This—this—this Sonichu franchise, it has a biiig number of fans. I even have a number of fan submissions. Like, this here is a draw—is a piece of fan art that came from a girl I knew in Australia.
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|right|PandaHalo's fanart, which serves as the cover of [[Sonichu 10]].]]
[''He holds up the picture, presumably from [[PandaHalo]], to the camera.'']

And that's a postcard sent from her, right there. She, uh, also, uh, created a Sonichu and Rosechu that's featured in the ''Number Nine'' book I'm currently drawing. They go by the name of [[Chloe]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu|BlazeBob]].

[''Chris turns around the file revealing another piece of art.'']

Anyway, also, on the flip side of this page is from somebody else. It's possibly the best Sonichu fan art ever. Look at that. That's gonna be the cover of the, uh, the first book that's just based on Sonichu, which'll definitely be after ''Number Ten''...

[''He turns around the picture to display Panda's image.'']

...which this one will be the cover of.

[''He looks at the other image again.'']

Hm. This one came from, uh, "Zorah Q. Zowild," that's his YouTube name. Yeah, also, you know, I've received fan art in the snail mail, those are printed off the internet. Like this lovely one.
[[Image:AllisonSonichuRosechu.jpg|thumb|And from that, you know, that's, you know, she could have done a little better like, you know, like Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her]]
[''He holds up a drawing of Sonichu and Rosechu in formal wear.'']

That came from, uh, that came from a lovely woman named Allie, in Sun Valley, California. Thank you. Thank you very much. And from that, you know, that's, you know, she could have done a little better like, you know, like Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her. But, still, drew my own version of it.

[''He holds up a crude imitation of the previous drawing.'']
[[Image:CWCsEloquateSonichuandRosechu.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's "superior" version of Allie's drawing.]]
Heh, heh. Isn't that fun? Oh, of course, local art, in Charlottesville, an art—an artist did a caricature of me.

[''He turns around the file to display the caricature.'']

I included that in the ''Number Nine'' book on a billboard.

[''He holds up one more piece of art.'']

Here's another fun piece of fan art. It comes from, uh... B.C. Uh, okay, I can't, uh, Vancouver, B.C. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. [[Chris_and_reality|Very famous. Very, very famous.]] Yep. Uh, this one's just a fan letter from a... from a [[BlueSpike|Julie in Ohio]].

[''He holds up an image, but the high contrast of his video renders it impossible to make out.'']

Here's a little piece of fan art from a, uh, from someone who's possibly, uh, Japanese. Who lives in Virginia. And also, recently, this guy here, uh, Jason Darling...thank you very much; I got your package.

[''He holds up a folder of photographs.'']

He made a replica of my [[medallion]], which in them, which, you know, this one here is the original that I made myself from my own hands, from Crayola Model Magic and acrylic paints. In the comic books this allows me to transform into Chris-chan Sonichu. Which, that is described in the comic book pages as reposed in the CWCipedia. Also sent me a pack of Maple Story cards, so again, thank you Jason. I appreciate your encouragement, as well as everybody else's. Anyway, uh... hmm... yeah, I picked up a—also received a fan CD from a—from a, uhh... BK Jones in Texas. Oh, here's anutter—here's anutter fun one that's recent. Look at this envelope. Isn't that... cute? That's fun. And then they did a computer art... over there. This came all the way from... Portland... Oregon, I believe it is. And, uhh, I got various other... fan letters in—in this page. Uhh, I'd pull 'em out, but, you know, they're in—I just left them in their envelopes. Nope, fan art dere.

But, anyway, also, aside from that, uhh... I have definitely—I have definitely made a set of trading—'kay, this is my [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon trading cards]]... which I, uhh, used—which I keep at home for art's sake. A whole heck—got, like—whole—a ''whole lot'' of them here. This could definitely branch out.... And a very ''profitable'' thing, both for between Nintendo and Sega, and also with Son—also possibly with Sony, with, uhh—you know, with the a—also with, uhh, the anime show that maybe—maybe Cartoon Network and their people could help me out on... eh, when tha—when that TV show gets run. Where I'll voic—where I will be happy to—where I will be the ''director'', and I will be voicing myself as Sonichu. Listen to the difference: okay, this is me, Christian Weston Chandler, and this will be Sonichu: [''clearly taking after [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEIpeZFUnJE George] by not changing his voice whatsoever''] Hey, Rosechu! Let's go out and zap to the extreme! We got some bad guys to defeat! Come on, let's go! Yeah!

[''quietly musing over his own amazing degree of fail''] Hmm... odd, but... [''recovered from the shock, back at normal volume''] anyway, uhh, running low on time. Uhh, just a couple of, uhh, other things of interest: uhh, Sonichu was also previously featured in May, 2004, in this issue of ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine, in "The Crossing Quarterly"... with a, uhh, submission from my ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game—for Nintendo GameCube, currently also available in—in other titles on DS and Nintendo Wii. And, also, uhh—and, shortly after that, it was featured... in a newsletter at the Piedmont Virgi—at the local [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]... among, uhh, other... published things. Also, uhh, when the, uhh, Sonic website was owiginawwy—was just CWCSonichu site, I had my own [[Sonichu's News Dash|News Dash newsletters]]. That lasted a short while.... Hmm. Actually, uh, yeah, but any—yeah, but, anyway, everybody knows on the CWCipedia, so....

[''sigh'']

Anyway, here: I'll show you the, uhh, just the, uhh, whole layout of the CWCville Shopping Center. I actually have all these... printouts from... my... [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and cla—cla—Computer-Aided Drafting and Design classes]], but this is the last one, right before I graduated from Piedmont Virginia College. Then my degree and certificate in Commu—Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. It's very—it's very good. I mean, I would just imagine this in real life. It would even have a Pokémon Center in there, like the one in New York used to have, before it turned into a Nintendo World, USA. It shoulda stayed a ''Pokémon Center''! Now, that was definitely better appeal than just... Nintend—than just Nintendo, even though, yes, Nintendo... has the rights and everything, but... it was ''the Pokémon Center''! I mean... le—if the CWC—if the CWCville Shopping Center does get built... let's agree to put a Pokémon Center in it. And it has a Mayor's Office... right here, above the... front of—up above the main front entrance of the building... which is as portrayed in the comic book series. Aaand a whole buncha... other stuff I have, uh, here. It's just side-...stuff from... my... life, and whatever.

Anyway, uhh... uhh, pretty much, uhh, take care of it for, uhh, this par—for this portion of the, uhh, video, [''removes glasses''] so the next video to follow this one will be the... [''taps table''] PowerPoint presentation, so I will be reading audioly—I will be reading from that and pointing the camera toward the PC, [''quietly and unconfidently''] thank you. [''gives a half-assed Cub Scout salute'']

So... to Nintendo and Sega and Sony and all the other companies interested in... franchising with me here: [''gives another half-assed Cub Scout salute''] I await your call to my home phone... number or my cell phone.

Thank you very much, and have a [''gives ANOTHER half-assed [[Chris's mannerisms|Cub Scout salute]]''] ''pleasant day''!
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Presentations}}
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[14 November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Powerpoint]]|}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Anna McLerran

2010-01-29T06:34:25Z

Toughdog6789: come on, learn to fucking spell

[[Image:Anamc.jpg|thumb|right|Never trust a Mormon troll]]

'''Anna McLerran''' (born 30 July [[1985]]<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>) met [[Chris]] through her job at the Pac Sun in the [[Fashion Square Mall]]. Chris has a tendency to pace in front of the storefront of various stores. The events occurring shortly after he decided to stop annoying the employees at Abercrombie & Fitch and start annoying the employees at the Pac Sun were what inspired her short story [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]].

Despite the insight she gave into the [[love quest]], she is widely disliked. According to the the [[Blanca]] Emails by Chris, she is a lesbian.<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Future dates with Blanca]]</ref>

==ED drama==

After Christian discovered the aforementioned story on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of [[White knight|white knighting]], she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article, in an attempt to paint Chris as a [[Chris and Fashion|goofy clown]], rather than a [[Chris Loses It|perverse psychotic]]. {{quote|I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.|Note From Anniebannany<ref>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=next&oldid=1997694799</ref>}} This passage was so masturbatory, it was assumed that it was written by Christian himself and it was credited as such. However, in [[December 2009]], Anna admitted to writing the article section herself<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439</ref>. It is unknown why she had actually befriended him; whether or not it was to quietly troll him and laugh at his stories; or if it was genuine. Many people lean towards the former as she appears to have a bit of a sadistic streak. While she is well known to defend her friends to the bitter end, Christian included, she has a prejudice against the mentally handicapped (who doesn't?), implying that [[autistic]] people should be embarrassed for being, well, autistic.

{{quote|C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.|Anna (clearly delusional)<ref>http://annamclerran.blogspot.com/2009/01/el-dee-ess-bee-see.html</ref>}}

==Current events==

She currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, far from Chris, working as a Shipping Manager for the Family First Foundation<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref> and going to LDS Business school trying to get some bullshit Executive Assistant degree.<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>

Anna has attempted to break into the art world with a seldom-updated [[DeviantART]] account, though her interest (but not talent) lies in writing. Anna has announced plans to write a book encompassing the life and failure of Chris-chan. As with many of her claims, this is to be taken with a grain of salt.

On the night of 5 [[December 2009]], Anna complained about pampered socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Ritchie|Nicole Ritchie's]] having appropriated a classic picture of Christian in his mother's underwear to use against tiresome faux-punk guitarist, Benji Madden. Anna, self-appointed guardian of the Manchild, kicked up a stink, demanding that the picture be taken down, as if it could not be found elsewhere. According to Anna, "he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(",<ref>http://twitpic.com/s7pfi</ref> ignoring the substantial amount of depravity that he commits without any outside encouragement. Anna went on to criticizing the CWCki, claiming that "[[Lie|there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him]]. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. super nice."<ref>Ibid.</ref> This is all very amusing when you consider her reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"<ref>[http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6377147359 Anna's Twitter]</ref>
==Criticism==

Anna is a polarizing figure for trolls. Despite her openness and apparent willingness to help, she is disliked by many [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] regulars, who accuse her of being an "attention whore" who promises information on Chris but never delivers, or of providing well-known information (notably about his [[Christian's name change|name change]]). Her appearances on the PVCC usually tend to be vapid attention seeking exercises full of retarded [[random-access humor]] rather than any kind of personal insights into Chris.

On the other hand, she is highly regarded by some trolls (who clearly don't have much female interaction) who fawn over her many [[YouTube]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWYguLerBg8 dancing videos] and mistake her forced randomness for personality. Many fool hearty young trolls have attempted to white knight for Anna, only to be reminded that she is a lesbian (or at least uses that as a excuse to stop Chris from stalking her). This certainly hasn't stopped all the [[mass debating]] that surrounds her.

==Anna's b-day/going away party==
Before Anna left for Utah, Chris decided to throw a birthday/going away party for her {{cite}}. Fortunately for trolls, it was documented and Chris is seen outside of his natural habitat, attempting to socialize with his peers.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0689-ANNABD2.JPG|Everyone's favorite crypto-troll, Anna.
Image:0690-ANNABD3.JPG|A seemingly innocent party...
Image:0691-ANNABD4.JPG|...with cards...
Image:0692-ANNABD5.JPG|...the close company of friends...
Image:0693-AnnaBD7.JPG|...cake...
Image:0697-AnnaBD10.JPG|...(too hard to tell)...
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|...aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|"You gonna get raped."
Image:0696-AnnaBD6.JPG|Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:AVDYT01-001.jpg
</gallery>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.annamclerran.blogspot.com/ Her blog]
*[http://dangerless.blogspot.com/ Her other blog]
*[http://thisisaskateblog.blogspot.com/ Another goddamn blog!]
*[http://mclerran.deviantart.com/ Her mediocre DA]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/mickylaren Her YT account]

{{People}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]

CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers

2010-01-29T06:18:42Z

Toughdog6789: /* Transcript */

'''CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers''' is a series of three videos posted on 10 [[July 2009]] by [[Chris]] for three individuals: ShmionSonozaki, sonichuizcool and oxycleanfanatic2264. Their accounts were already closed when the videos were posted.

Deemed "Too Hot for [[YouTube]]" for Chris's very blunt and inflammatory rhetoric (calling individuals retards, telling individuals to kill themselves, etc), it lead to an immediate suspension of his account. Luckily a brave patriot discovered them when they were new and found them lulzy enough to mirror, allowing them to then be archived by the [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]]. Each video begins with Chris holding up a piece of paper with the user's name written on it and playing the same recorded disclaimer in the background.

Ironically, Chris called the users "[[naïve]]" and revealed his particular disdain for this word calling it "the most cruelest of words", and then he proceeded to butcher its definition by saying it meant being stupid. It has been speculated on [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] that he might have been slightly intoxicated when making the videos. He also threatens one user with a detective. Considering that his demands were not met, and we never heard from this detective again, there was surely no detective.

==CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki==

{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki
| image = {{#ev:youtube|aqHzjnCcOw8}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 10 July 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] [[Rage]]
| previous = [[CWC Update 7 July 2009]]
| next = [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool|CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===

[The screen shows a piece of paper with the name ‘ShmionSonozaki’ written on it in felt tip pen.]

The following is addressed to this individual whose YouTube account is this only. The opinions and if—feelings and emotions expressed in this video are not res—are not representative towards any persons other than this one. Thank you very much.

[camera cut to Chris]

Hellooo. Hmm… you hide under a veil. I don’t know, are you a pretty woman? Or are you a, or do you hide a beard underneath that veil. Or do you hide that beard. Perhaps you are actually a dude, or even worse, a hermaphrodite. You know what, you get not much of response from me, because, you even delete your own account. You are such a cowardly naïve retarded individual. Naïve is the cruelest of words cause it questions ones intelbi—intelligence... and that’s why I’m calling you… naïve retard.

[camera cut]

And also, I know you live… in Pennsylvania.

==CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool==

{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool
| image = {{#ev:youtube|18_-CUNjuE8}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 10 July 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] [[Rage]]
| previous = [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki|CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki]]
| next = [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264|CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===

[The screen shows a piece of paper with the name ‘sonichuizcool’ written on it in felt tip pen.]

The following is addressed to this individual whose YouTube account is this only.
the opinions and if—feelings and emotions expressed in this video are not res—are not representative towards any persons other then this one. Thank you very much.

[camera cut to Chris]

Hmm... I don’t know... You seem to hide behind a face mask... and a beanie. Who do you think you are? [[Sailor_Moon|Tuxedo Kamen]]? Aehh, you’re so naïve and [[slow in the minds|slow in the mind]], I couldn’t even give a dang about you. And if you want my trust you’re gonna have to do some earning bang, you’re gonna have to come out and into the open. You godda come out where I can meet you. Aehh? Aehh? Dumbass.

==CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264==

{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264
| image = {{#ev:youtube|DfbFnB9jWcs}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 10 July 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] [[Rage]]
| previous = [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool|CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool]]
| next = [[A near public apology]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===

[The screen shows a piece of paper with the name ‘oxycleanfanatic2264’ written on it in felt tip pen. Below it says 'not a YouTube handle...something']

The following is addressed to this individual whose YouTube account is this only.
The opinions and if—feelings and emotions expressed in this video are not res—are not representative towards any persons other than this one. Thank you very much.

[camera cut to Chris]

Hey! You! I know you. I have your name! You live in Sacramento California. I have a detective on the case and I am going to send him against you as soon as possible. Which that would be in the next few days, or tomorrow when I can get in touch with him. And I will get in touch with him. And you think you’re sooo [sic] smart and you think you’re soo'''ooo''' corny by doing the things that you have done so far, mister hackerrrr!
You think you’re so smart? Well you know what? you’re just a naïve retard! And naïve is my least favorite word because it s'''ou'''nds like nails on a chalkboard. You naïve retarded bastard! [...] You should just go ha- you should go hang yourself after you have given me back what you have stolen from me. Do it '''now'''! Give’m back to me! Or I will send the detective and the po-lice on your case. You bastard you, naïve retarded bastard.

[camera cut]

And not only that but your are such a coward you dare not even show your face like others have done partially on their YouTube videos. You are such a cowardly naïve retarded '''bastard'''!

[camera cut]

That’s right, I’m calling you out!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 7 July 2009]]|nextlink=[[A near public apology]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]

White knight

2010-01-29T06:05:52Z

Toughdog6789: /* Chris is beyond pity */

[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the internet to help or defend someone else on the internet against other people on the internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris-chan has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris-chan saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving or even beyond such assistance. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[Racism|racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him on good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons, many of which are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up; they think they can reason with Chris by speaking from experience.

BAAAAAAAW! [[Kick the Autistic]] is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
There is ongoing debate about whether Chris is actually [[autism|autistic]]. Regardless, there is clear evidence that Chris suffers from serious mental deficiencies.

Chris [[fail]]s to identify people, a possible sign of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia Prosopagnosia]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't identify them as the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself<ref> [[Sonichu 7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> — since chances are he hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation as to why he denies being fat.

Chris fails to read between the lines. He interprets [[Family Guy]] as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

Furthermore, Chris's upbringing was anything but ideal. All of these factors and probably a lot more have led to the man-child we know today.

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris - or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s total control of Chris was disgusting, but his near sadism and what he made Chris do [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]], [[Chris and his Ego]]''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he [[Dating education|magically dreams up his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, Chris's reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref>. When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends due to suicides, he still has no problems telling [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to dealt with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides might not exactly find this amusing.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used the mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[trolls|fan]] tells him that the religious authorities set her to be beheaded for reading Sonichu, Chris answers that he's sorry and that the situation is "Pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8]]</ref>

While this can actually be accounted to Chris's [[autism]], where lack of empathy is a common trait, most autistics can at least learn how to express it through a combination of carefully reading emotions and thinking about how this affects the other one, yet Chris refuses psychiatric help for this sort of thing - but that's another point.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===

Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris Chandler. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and are able to gain social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is remarkably not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions, has a sense of morality, and would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law. The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a misogynist has nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling; merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack - up to and including death threats. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing ''nasty'' things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he's not thinking of the consequences at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation - <s>sometimes</s> often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids in card games]] and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the internet, can't list any redeemable qualities of Chris.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. It was made explicitly clear to him by Megan that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill manchild and become his [[Sweethearts| Sweetheart From The Ground Up]].

After [[Megan]] yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingebanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he [[The July 10th Messages|addressed a person named 'SonichuIzCool']] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''was'') probably the only genuine fan of Sonichu, and tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris calls her "[[naïve]] and [[slow in the mind]]". He tells her she has to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused; yet, when he posted these videos, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, he went so far as to mock the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center terror attacks]]. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but he used the ''fall of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was, and used it to threaten and mock Clyde. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To our knowledge, he was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images; he came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

===Chris cares only for himself===

Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxury, and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. Chris does have the skills and confidence to hold a job with no client interaction, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for mentally challenged people, but he hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's easier to be paid for doing absolutely nothing via benefit than to actually do any sort of physical labor whatsoever. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking full advantage of the government by vastly exaggerating claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income of your money for rent, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has a breakdown in public.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===

Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message goes through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in the communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway - yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet; the thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the fact that people who block him try to hint something (often something along the lines of "GTFO") never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] shows more of this. The banner ad crisis in late 2009 is a good example of his [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] in action. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He just can't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers."

===Chris will reject your advice===

[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]

Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being overweight.

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try". Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but recently, Chris even began to [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===

* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.

See a trend here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===

Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's True and Honest, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing, so what's the problem?]]

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. So what's the problem?

===Chris outcast-ed himself===

High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, out of [his] own volition,'' to integrate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the Dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction_sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate for a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was him against the world. After being kicked from The Game Place (after again being given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was kicked from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and was left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never show up again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He was forced into exile to [[Cwcville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===

In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_21st,_2008|Crash Into Slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===

The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===

Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by [[Mimms|friends]] [[Lucas|who]] grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna_McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flaunting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]].

If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet.

If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS0kIavTfic real life trolls] at the mental hospital.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards [[Jerkops|legitimate]] [[Bagget|assertions]] [[B-Manajerk|of]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|authority]] as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive and he did so most likely without knowing of the manchild's existence. Bleak as it is, unless Chris radically embarks on a program of self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris, and indeed others===
If Chris was just some random nobody on the internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died, then he would be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a virgin all his life, with no job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. His bringing humor to millions all over the world is an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving - the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated with him that they study his life.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually realizing his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller that's unknown, he's an internet-famous unemployable, hideous, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie or TV series.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#What other aspies think of Chris|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He's a paranoid fucktard who screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most recent big example of this. He hates being corrected, and will cling to his misinformation; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and Autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything at all, or outright ignore parts of the question.

==Examples==

:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

[[Svenka]] is a counter-troll.

On 6 [[May 2009]], [[YouTube]] user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS.'''

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]