CWCki - User contributions [en]

Update: 2/25/16

2016-02-28T19:12:26Z

TurboJUK: replaced video link after Chris accidentally deleted original

"'''Update: 2/25/16'''" was, unsurprisingly, uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[February 2016]] (one day after [[Christian Love Day|he turned 34]]).

His attempt to get people to buy a [[Sony|PS4]] for him predictably failed; instead, people sent him several gift cards with no money on them (as well as a non-winning lottery ticket, which some have said is a perfect metaphor for Chris's life). Instead of being grateful that people sent him anything at all, he instead whines about not getting what he wanted with all the grace of a [[Borb|spoilt child]], even ending the video with a petulant "thanks for nothing".

What caught many Christorians off guard was that Chris seems to have [[Chris and his ego|seriously]] [[Autism|expected]] a stranger to throw hundreds of dollars at him for no reason other than that it was his birthday and he asked, with such apparent surety that not receiving a PS4 seems to have [[Crash into slumber|shocked him into a depressive state]]. These implicit assumptions are troubling as they indicate that months of receiving payments of as much as $1000 in exchange for little to no effort on his part have only worsened his already devastating entitlement issues. In light of this, there is perhaps no greater gift anyone could have given Chris this year than nothing at all.

He also seems to have taken [[CatKnight Interview 3|Arthur Spatchcock's advice]], and gave the fans the official voices of cartoon-adapted [[Comic Chris|Comic Christine]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] within this video. Finally the fans know what Sonichu's real voice is, and of course, it's pretty much Chris', but somehow even more [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb]].

He also gets mad at ''[[South Park]]: The Stick of Truth'' because Cartman repeatedly calls the player character a "douchebag" (which Chris takes as [[Chris and reality|an insult towards him personally]]) - ignoring the fact that Cartman has always been characterized as an [[Chris|obnoxious jackass]], and that this is far from the worst thing he has done (c.f. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Tenorman_Must_Die "Scott Tenorman Must Die"], which [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails#Aftermath|he has referenced before]]).

[[Random-access humor]] and [[Donald Duck impersonation|horrible impersonations]] also return, most of which are curtailed from [[CWC 3D Voice Check|two of]] [[Cheesy!|his old]] [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]] (with the exception of Bing Bong from ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inside_Out_%282015_film%29 Inside Out]'').

==Description==
{{Quotebox|Watch, Subscribe, and Watch again for more videos, Only on Cwcville Guardian: the Official and Authentic Source for a lot about Sonichu, as well as the author herself, Christine Weston Chandler.

Voucher for Destiny White PS4 Bundle (no PS4 Camera required) Offer extended to March 5, 2016.

[[Etsy|http://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShop...]]

Coupon Code: FEB241982

Free Sonichu #4 Book with purchase of CWC Figure(s) (see earlier video for details; Expires March 17, 2016)}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update: 2/25/16
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-xm2o4rDrmg}}
| stardate = 25 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Pink T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 02/16/2016]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''[Chris drops something on his desk as the video starts. Worth noting is that both the [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are on his desk.]''

Hello, and welcome to another day... 'ere on the CwcvilleGuardian channel... ''[sigh]'' Christine Chandler here... alright, so... Mm. ''[Chris begins fiddling with his glasses]'' Aight, so yesterday was my 34th birthday... um... I ''have'' re''ceived''... and I... do ''not'' pro''mote'' such dishonesty... Gift cards that have... no activation... and no value or money on them at all. And also, I have received... another... piece of mail. This one had... a scratched-off lottery ticket that was ''not''--that was clearly not a winner. ''[Chris licks his lips]'' Alright?

And I certainly did not receive a PlayStation 4 console... [[Chris and English|even much less]] the white one with the ''Destiny'' game and all that... Still, I move forward, so... mm.

''[Chris reaches for something off-camera]''

But let's do something different today!

''[Chris pulls back, revealing he was reaching for [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Post 2011 Christine Weston Chandler Amiibo Figure (from Original Creator)|his tomgirl self-insert amiibo]].]''

Okay, a little voice acting.

''[Chris grabs all three of the amiibo on his desk, then sets Rosechu down.]''

Alright, so it's a cartoon series, I would definitely be voicing myself and Sonichu, and this is what he'd sound like--mm.

''[Chris rocks the figures back and forth as they "speak".]''

'''Christine:''' Hey, Sonichu, what's new?

'''Sonichu:''' ''[sounding like Chris's regular voice, only slightly higher pitched]'' Hey, mama, whatchu ''know?'' I'm doing OK with my wife, Rosey. ''[Chris slides her figure slightly closer to the others.]''

'''Rosechu:''' ''[in falsetto]'' Hello!

''[Chris breaks character for a moment]''

I'd get a femal-- I'd get a fem... woman to voice Rosechu for real. I don't know, somebody that sounds like... or similar ''to''... I dunno maybe, [[Britney Spears]] or... Katy Perry, or... hell, Meghan Trainor. I like her voice too. Mm.

''[Chris resumes voice acting]''

'''Christine:''' ''Ennnh'' yeah, yesterday was my [[birthday]]! So... I had low expectations for it, and I didn't get much about it... except... pretty much... birthday greetings, word of mouth, AND I had to buy my own cupcakes!

'''Sonichu:''' ''[Chris's regular voice]'' Oh that's a sha-- ''[slips back into "Sonichu" voice]'' Ohhh that's a shame, man! Mom! That's a shame, mom! Enh... Oh well! You get older, you find that people are not gonna care... as much about ya.

'''Christine:''' Enh... They only care about you on your own... ''[Chris slams figure of himself face first into desk]'' death bed. ''[flips figure to lie face up on desk, starts spinning it around]'' So that's ''anurr'' year on the old odometer. ''[inhales somewhat disgustedly, picks figure of himself upright again, and starts screeching while wobbling figure back and forth]''

'''Sonichu:''' ''[unintelligible, though clearly adding to Christine's screeching]''

'''Christine:''' ''[more screeching]''

''[licks lips as he finishes voice acting]''

Yeah. ''[blows a soft, sad raspberry]''

Hmm. Alright, um... also, um, those of you who have been watching my [[Playstation Network]] activity, you'd notice I've ha-had to go through my whole disk library once again, just because I've ended up having to... reformat my hard drive... after I... because of a corrupted... ''firmware file'' on it, that's... upsetting, but I've got that settled and fixed and... all the... games have been reinstalled and the DLC re-downloaded and everything, so... mm, ''[dissolves to gibberish]'' meh bdep blep bleh.

''[sigh]''

And yet, still no PS... 4! 'Cause I need to... catch back up! In the technology and everything. ''[sigh]'' Although, last night I did pu-- I did, uh-- I had-- already had purchased it on current, a copy of South Park: Stick of Truth. It's pretty good... the onl-- my only d-- the only downside that I really... did not like was, uh... actually two things. Could not be a girl! So I had to make the ''boy'' look like a girl. So that's one way of promoting being a transwoman. You dress up the new kid as a girl! And that wor-- And that works out. Mm.

And then also-- second part, I really... don't-- I really do not care for Cartman's attitude as well... and... it's not funny at all. ''[stammers]'' Y-yo-eh... You-- I enter my name as the character name, and get-- then he calls me... "Douchebag!" ''[shakes head disapprovingly]'' Seriously, Cartman... ''[raises voice, noticeably agitated]'' I'm the player! I'm gonna make progress in this game! ''[starts bashing figure of himself against desk as he rants]'' So don't you dare call me... a ''douchebag''! ''[slams figure one last time, pauses seeming to calm down]''

Ehh, well... ''[exhales frustratedly through pursed lips]'' and y'know... meanwhile... what else? ''[struggles to think of topics to discuss]'' What else, what else? ''[small sigh]'' Ahh, what else? ''[pause]'' What else?

I don't know much else, my brain's gone blank. Unngh... I have so much inside if-- built, poked[?] and pent up to my life, so it's no wonder my mind is constantl-- is constantly off and on blank. ''[blows small raspberry]''

Enngh... I'm sorry I can't b-- I'm sorry I'm... not so funny, but... if I ca-- if I don't feel it, then it just doesn't come up... as easily.

Oh well! In a trial of being funny... [playful voice] And now for some [[Random Access Humor|random, silly things]]!

''[pause as he thinks]''

Hey look, a monkey. Hi, monkey! Aaaaaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane![?]

''[Chris repeats it, because it was so good the first time]''

Hi, monkey! Aaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane!

''[long pause]''

It's plays out better in my head. It doesn't actually have characters.

Ehh, what else is there? Alright... well redoing vocal impressions.

And now here's Cheese from [[wikipedia:Foster's_Home_for_Imaginary_Friends|''Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends'']]:

''[grating, nasally voice]'' I like chocolate milk! Tinkle tinkle in the car, you should really use a jar! Prizes![?] I like cereal! I'm not a tampon! My name is Cheese! Do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again!

[lower voice] Autobots! Transform, and roll out! Ffff--

[restrained voice] I'm Meatwad, a ball of meat. Ffff--

[nasally voice, similar to last one] Egegegegegegegegeg. I speak Spanish, every day! Ffff--

[silly voice] Stop in the name of the law! Sorry about that chief!

[lower silly voice] [[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Idiots!]] ''[raspberry, starts singing tune]'' Nununununununununununununu.

[sings different tune] Bing Bong, Bing Bong, who's the friend that likes to play? ''[picks up figures and dances them around the desk]'' Bing Bong, Bing Bong, nanananananana! Bing Bong, Bing Bong, entertainment value! Bing Bong, Bing Bong... ''[peters out, keeps dancing figures around for a bit]''

Alright, well anyway... subscribe! Subscribe to my channel to get updates on... well, me, Sonichu, my store on [[Etsy]], Cwcville Shopping... and, uh... everything else nearly related, ''ourgh''-- or of interest.

''[sigh]''

I'm stuck in a... moody mode, so... oh well. Right, so... thanks for the mail and then... [[Chris and his ego|thanks for nothing]]! Alright. Well, be another update... in about a week or s-- week or... give or take. Have a good day, thank you.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Arthur Spatchcock Interviews

2016-01-28T20:14:31Z

TurboJUK: Soundtracks are still online - Links were formatted wrong

<div class="boilerplate metadata" id="incomplete">
{| cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" style="background-color: #ffff88; border: 2px solid #00B7EB; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"
|-
| [[Image:Stress.jpg|120px| ]]
| '''This section is still yet to be completed due to [[stress]].'''We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this section will be completed as soon as possible, and more images added, at our own pace...''[[HONEST]]!''
|-
|}</div>

[[Sonichu comic|Sonichu]] fan CatKnight/MasterDisaster AKA Arthur Spatchcock of England interviews our [[Chris|TRUE AND HONEST hero]], posing as an interested English entrepreneur. Chris is completely fooled, despite the affected English accent fluctuating a good deal, and even tries to British it up himself by responding ad nauseam with "quite" and "indeed". Naturally, numerous tangents that are totally inappropriate for a business call occur.
[[File:weeaboo.jpg|thumb|The resemblance is uncanny.]]
== Highlights ==
Chris reveals the plot for upcoming pages in [[Sonichu 11]], rants about [[Evan]] and how [[Barb]] does not look like a Snorlax, and claims that he looks like [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Neptune]].

== Transcript ==

'''''Part 1'''''

'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Arthur:''' Hello there! Yes, Christine!

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Arthur:''' It is my distinct honour to be talking to you. As you know, I'm [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Arthur Spatchcock]]. It's a pleasure, really it is.

'''Chris:''' ...Thank you.

'''Arthur:''' I've been a long-time fan of [[Sonichu]]. I mean, implacably so.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Arthur:''' My favourite character, actually, is [[Magi-Chan]], to be honest.

'''Chris:''' ...Oh, do tell me why?

'''Arthur:''' Magi-Chan, it's because of his-- you know, he wants to help all of his friends, and with his ability to contact them all simultaenously at the same time, it's an amazing ability to have.

'''Chris:''' Quite, he is the [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|psychic type]], after all.

'''Arthur:''' Right, yes. And I absolutely love the fact that, you know, he can plan things accordingly and contact everyone, simultaneously, and get that plan out.

'''Chris:''' He can also see into the future a bit as well.

'''Arthur:''' How far into the future can he see, actually? He doesn't want to ruin his own future, right?

'''Chris:''' Hm. Not enough to, uhh... Well, he knows quite-- he can see quite a bit far into the future, but although there are details of which you might not be able to see, a point or two.

'''Arthur:''' Right, he wouldn't want to time-logic himself, accidentally mess up the future by trying to affect it.

'''Chris:''' Quite.

'''Arthur:''' Yes. Also a big fan of [[Rosechu]]; I think every, I think every Sonichu fan loves Rosechu.

'''Chris:''' Thank you.

'''Arthur''' Of course. Now, as I said, I'm interviewing you because I want to get some personal information about Sonichu and a little bit about yourself.

'''Chris:''' Uh--

'''Arthur:''' For example, I cannot wait to see some more pages of the latest chapter -- [[Sonichu 11|chapter eleven]] -- great, the Christmas special was fantastic; loving [[Kevin]] as a character, by the way.

'''Chris:''' ...Okay, thank you.

'''Arthur:''' But uh, are there more coming? Because I can tell you right now, I know a few rabid fans, my niece included, who can't wait to see some more.

'''Chris:''' Yes, uh, yes, more pages will be coming and are still, are still in the, uh, works, it just, uh, depends on my mood, and how I feel in a days, 'cause...

'''Arthur:''' Oh yes, we -- we all get [[Stress|the frumps]].

'''Chris:''' Nobody's perfect.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, we all get the frumps.

'''Chris:''' ...Quite. But they're still-- they're still in my mind, and in the processes, and everything. I just take it one moment at a time and I do what I can when I'm able.

'''Arthur:''' Absolutely, you go at your pace, that's what I expect. I don't want you to rush yourself.

'''Chris:''' ...Indeed.

'''Arthur:''' And as for your [[medallions]] and stuff, I'm still thinking about getting one, but honestly, I just don't know where I could ever wear it.

'''Chris:''' Ha! I know: you could always, display it at the very least.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, very true. And your [[Amiibo]] collection is getting quite large, actually.

'''Chris:''' ...Well I have a wide variety of characters, and uh, a few more to come out, there's-- to expect.

'''Arthur:''' Have you considered releasing a box set at some point, with a special edition? Maybe -- ooh! How about this: a Christian-- a Christine Weston Chandler ultimate box set, the first edition set, all ten of the original completed comics, and a medallion of your choice, for a hundred dollars.

'''Chris:''' [''minor [[stress sigh]]''] [[Chris and Money|For a hundred dollars]]? Th-that's, that's quite, that's uh, it'd take more funds for me to, more funds than that for me to be able to acquire the material figures...

'''Arthur:''' Oh, well we can worry about those details in the uh, the process, the manufacturing aspect. I'm talking about after we make this stuff BIG, Christine. Not right now. Once you get some-- once you actually get some, uh, CLOUT behind Sonichu, you won't have to worry about things like funding anymore.

'''Chris:''' ...Well... Uh I'll just, I'll just wait and see how it comes about, and when it comes about I'll be able to plan better.

'''Arthur:''' Precisely. So, okay, I guess we should get to the question [fine?]. This conversation's great, but I don't want to waste all of your time, you might-- you must be ''very busy'' working on smaller projects as is.

'''Chris:''' Quite, indeed.

'''Arthur:''' Indeed indeed. All right, so I guess the first question is: if Sonichu [[Jimmy Hill|were brought over here to Europe]] -- you know, Britain and all that, I guess if you want to be technical -- um, how do you think he would be best implemented? As a [[Sonichu the animated series|cartoon]], or maybe a [[Asperchu|comic]]?

'''Chris:''' I'm sure probably both.

'''Arthur:''' A cartoon and a comic, that's ambitious.

'''Chris:''' Eventually, uh, I would do the, the voice-acting of Sonichu and myself, personally.

'''Arthur:''' Now that is a question I do have to bring up. With the, um, with the change you've made in your life, going from "Chris" to "Christine," that is an interesting aspect based on the original comic pages. How do you plan on altering that, to fit into the storyline?

'''Chris:''' It's been, it's been implemented during the, uh, during the eleventh book here--

'''Arthur:''' Ah, it is.

'''Chris:''' It is, it is a bit of, I think I've mentioned it as a bit of a hint, of that, uh, amongst the recent pages I've uploaded, but if not there is something that will be hinted in the upcoming pages, of which I do have planned, which where everybody's gathered around the Christmas tree in the shopping mall.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, you've been bringing up that Christmas party on the last update of the comic, and let me tell you, I was absolutely surprised you had to stop right there. You could have just gone a little further.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, yeah, it just depends on my pace and my mood, and uh, all the other projects and everything that goes on in my life, it's just, [[Lego|it's really]] [[video games|busy]] [[television|around here]].

'''Arthur:''' Understandable, understandable.

'''Chris:''' ...I mean, I certainly do a lot around here, and uh, our funds are, most of our-- [[Monthly tugboat|mostly fixed, yet uh, limited, and can be varying]], but-- but for the most part we get by fairly well throughout the month.

'''Arthur:''' You're not hurting or anything, are you? I mean, you're not like, you're not stuck eating ramen noodles and uh, cups of water, are you?

'''Chris:''' No. We get-- no, we get by fairly well. We, uh, [[Chris and English|we try to eat very well and good]].

'''Arthur:''' I myself had some eggies in a basket today and some toad-in-the-hole which were really good.

'''Chris:''' I, warmed up a batch-- warmed up a couple of eggs with spinach to make green eggs and ham.

'''Arthur:''' Really now? How did that turn out, was it good?

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Arthur:''' Hmm, I'll have to try that sometime.

'''Chris:''' I mean, look it up on the internet, you uh, you put, you, uh, put the eggs in the-- in there with the, with the pieces of the spinach leaves, and mix 'em together to put [point?] to the frying pan, and put in whatever else you kn-- you might like, some salt or [?], and-- or maybe even put the-- put pieces of ham IN to the eggs, make yourself, uh, kind of an omelette there, as well. It'll work out pretty good.

'''Arthur:''' So you really are taking care of yourself physically. I've noticed in the last couple of videos that you've done, you've been looking a lot slimmer.

'''Chris:''' Thank you.

'''Arthur:''' It's nice to see you taking care of yourself.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I try to get out and about, uh, most days of the week, and get at least, uh, the thousand to ten thousand steps, if not greater.

'''Arthur:''' Ten thousand steps, that's impressive. ...Even I don't get that many, but I sit in front of a computer all day doing work, so I don't have that choice.

'''Chris:''' I'm sitting behind my-- I'm sitting behind my desk or, uh, sit-- or sitting with the dogs, and uh, giving them some time, but I try and make time for my family as well, during-- during each day.

'''Arthur:''' How has [[Barb|your mother]] been? If I'm not digging too deep; if that's going too far, just let me know.

'''Chris:''' My mother-- my mother is in quite good health. She is not, uhh, lazy or fat like a Snorlax, like, uh, some people would claim.

'''Arthur:''' I've-- I've seen the jokes, I find them in completely poor taste.

'''Chris:''' Yes, very poor taste. And quite most inaccurate.

'''Arthur:''' Now, one thing that does come to mind is that I know there are quite a few people out there who have besmirched your name; not only yours, but your creations as well. This "[[Asperchu]]," as he was called? Was completely asinine, if I remember correctly?

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Arthur:''' Now, this per-- now this person won't make an appearance if we try to bring this business deal to light, will he?

'''Chris:''' Mmph... Yeah, Asperchu is definitely not a canon character, except for, uh, in [[Sonichu 10|book ten]], where, to-- tried to put a damper on the... [[Parody|parodies]]... of my character, which is considerable parody of the other two characters, of [[Sonic]] and [[Pokemon|Pikachu]]. Yeah, but essentially, that's where I tried to remedy and tried to make-- him-- make him to be better, as in, uh, [important?] Among which, drawn to look better, definitely-- the way that guy drew his characters, and pages? It was just so blocky, and that's not really, quite all that befitting.

'''Arthur:''' Oh, understandable. I mean he's besmirching your name, he's stealing your [[copyright]], of course it's not going to look as good as the original.

'''''Part 2'''''

'''Chris:''' But then also the way my [[hair]] turned out, after the semi-permanent hair colour, [[Chris and reality|kind of makes me look like Sailor Nep-- Neptune]].

'''Arthur:''' Yes, I see the resemblance.

'''Chris:''' And I find that quite-- quite favourable, 'cause it's, in the anime she was an artiste as well, on the violin.

'''Arthur:''' I would suggest-- I would suggest, Christine, that if you really want to bring out that blue colour, that you should pick a lighter colour first and start with that, and then hit it with the blue, and it will come out extremely vibrant.

'''Chris:''' I'll keep that in mind.

'''Arthur:''' Like, go with a um, like a blonde or a platinum blonde, and THEN wait a few days to hit it with that blue? And it'll hit that battery blue colour you're looking for perfectly.

'''Chris:''' Mmkay.

'''Arthur:''' Because it would really bring out the colour in your eyes, you know?

'''Chris:''' Indeed.

'''Arthur:''' ...Okay, so we left off at Sonichu, if I remember correctly?

'''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, we were talking about, we were talking about the Asperchu part.

'''Arthur:''' That's right, we were talking about Asperchu. I noticed there's a few other things, like when you brought Simonla back from the dead. That was a very ballsy move, I have to say.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just don't care about [[Evan|the guy]] who created his Simonchu and claiming that [[Simonla]] was based off of that? That's not the case at all. I mean, even long before Simonchu ever came about from my viewpoint, I wanted to make a ground-type character, among which, and-- and uh, I wanted-- I definitely had in mind amongst which, uh, drill arms, and that sort of thing, but I just never really could figure out the, uh, shape and formula in my head. But then eventually I did see the Simonchu, and... and from, and from that, uh, I took a little out-- I took a little bit, here and there, and I made the Rosechu character. And, uh, I mean, Simonla is, was-- I got that name based off of the, uh, movie that's called "Simone"? Uhh, which uh, that was about a holographic, uh, woman, that was [tinted?] as a famous singer.

'''Arthur:''' I see, I see, yes. Well you know, all that copyright infringement and stuff, everything, I don't think you'll have to worry about that. I mean, the person would have to come forward and complain about it, and what are the odds of that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, quite. And plus, definitely stronger than his Simonchu with the simitanium bones and recovery aspect, similar to Wolverine.

'''Arthur:''' Actually, I looked up simitanium, and it's an actual thing.

'''Chris:''' Huh, it is. I thought I just made it up.

'''Arthur:''' No. It's actual-- I don't think it has much to do with what you're talking about, but it's actually [[wikipedia:Itanium|an electronic thing]] with [[computer]]s.

'''Chris:''' Huh. Well, chalk it up to coincidence, definitely, 'cause I never heard of that.

'''Arthur:''' No, no, completely coincidental. I mean, it seems to work; I mean, after all, it's basically given her Wolverine-like powers.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yes. And then the irony, com-- going to computers and electronics, she's a ground and electric type, it turns out to work out pretty good.

'''Arthur:''' Hm. Maybe you should point that out sometime, make it a part-- make it a part of the character.

'''Chris:''' I'll make a little [[Random Access Humor|joke]] out of that at one point, then.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, sounds like a good idea to me. So we were talking about Sonichu, and like I said, you won't have to worry-- hope too much about some of your, um, less than desirable people. I know that you went on a bit of a hiatus for a while; you came back, stronger than ever. I mean, I thought Sonichu was dead and gone forever, but then you came back with new comics, and new medallions and Amiibos, and I was blown away.

'''Chris:''' Yes. I never meant-- I w-- I was never meant-- I mean, Sonichu was not dead. I never meant for that to be uh, the outcome there. I fell into the hiatus because I felt overwhelmed with the stress, and uhh... [[Mental Block|shoot, what's the word there I'm trying to think of]]... Well anyway, I just-- I just felt overwhelmed from between the internet trolls laying me down, and I had to take my webpages down because of them hacking into it. And it just killed-- it just killed my inspiration for a while. And then eventually I realised that trolls are people, and I started find-- and especially after I identified myself as a female soul trapped in this male body, and a lesbian transwoman from that? I def-- I definitely was able to turn my self-esteem around from that, but uh, I still need improvements here and there.

'''Arthur:''' Oh no, you seem more confident than ever.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Arthur:''' Honestly, you seem more confident than you did five years ago, and that's great.

'''Chris:''' Thank you.

'''Arthur:''' ...It's nice to see that you've finally came to terms with the fact that if you can't beat the trolls, you just ignore them.

'''Chris:''' Yes. And definitely to quote the WatchMojo dot com Top Ten Internet Trolls, it definitely puts in better perspective that they are still just people, don't know how better communicate in better words, or emotions. ...But yeah, nobody's perfect, anyway.

'''Arthur:''' Right. ...Okay, so so far we've covered Sonichu, we've covered, um, the people from your past that hopefully won't come forward trying to claim rights to Sonichu; we wouldn't want THAT issue when we're trying to set up our little endeavour.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Arthur:''' Now the last thing we need to talk about is your input on this. Now, you said you wanted to voice Sonichu AND yourself in the show. That makes sense.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Arthur:''' Are there any other characters-- Now, honestly, there are a few characters we simply cannot touch. Now I noticed you brought in Ren Skysoar to replace Doctor Robotnik. Now that's a good start, but I can tell you right now that my associates CANNOT get Sonic into that show easily.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Although I tell you, um, definitely I was able to rectify the problem in book one, where Simonla disguised hers-- transformed, and made herself into Sonic, for that book, and then definitely later into Amy Rose just for the [walk-in?].

'''Arthur:''' Okay. So that will definitely cover those small bases. Because honestly, we can't touch characters like, you know, we can't touch Robotnik, we can't touch Aqua Teen Hunger Force, because that'll just create all kinds of issues with other companies, and they're gonna, they're all gonna want their piece of the pie. And let's face it, you don't want your piece to get any smaller.

'''Chris:''' Quite, mm. What makes you bring in the, uh, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, if I may ask?

'''Arthur:''' You remember, that scene when they're inside the, the restaurant, when Son-- uh, no, it's the mall, and Sonichu and Rosechu are eating at the restaurant, and you've got the little meatwad thing on the table?

'''Chris:''' Oh, oh, oh yeah. Yes, just to make a little-- fun happy-- fun-- yeah. I do remember that part, yeah.

'''Arthur:''' You've got to be careful, because I can tell you right now, people on the internet'll notice the smallest things and point them out.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but it's not pertinent to the story or whatever.

'''Arthur:''' It might not hurt anything.

'''Chris:''' It's not gonna be repeated.

'''Arthur:''' We'll-- Oh, I'm sorry, please continue.

'''Chris:''' It'll definitely be revealed in, uh, a later part that after I've made apparent in the Facebook post that Sonichu is allergic to [[Pickle|pickles]].

'''Arthur:''' Yes, I find that-- I've always found his allergy to pickles to be quite hilarious.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And uh, kind of a spoiler, there will be a part in a future story where he-- where pretty much in a dream scenario, he has to swim in a river of essentially pickle brine juice.

'''Arthur:''' Oh no.

'''Chris:''' And he blows up during the swim.

'''Arthur:''' Really? So he's like, he's like deathly allergic to pickles?

'''Chris:''' Quite.

'''Arthur:''' He better hope he gets an [?] after that.

'''Chris:''' Well he's quite, uh, he's quite strong, so he's able to survive it, and at the end of the river is uh, is a healing pond at which he recovers from the allergy fairly quick.

'''Arthur:''' Well I guess that will definitely take care of that problem.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Arthur:''' Now are you going to be introducing any more new characters into the series? Because right now you've already got quite a collection of people already ready to go. But seeing as how previous villains in the series have either been arrested, or, or gone, or dead, or missing, I should say, are you introducing new villains into the series based on the current, you know, issues in your life?

'''Chris:''' I would say that's still yet to be determined. But at least I was-- at least I am definitely glad to give Count Graduon a past human form with which to lead into his spirit, and um, [[Duck|very small]] spoiler, among the uh, people he'll be bringing in uh, the bodies, he finds somebody that looks nearly exactly like he used to, and he brings in-- he becomes one of the Jerkops, so he brings him in and moves his soul from the Metal Sonichu into that body.

'''Arthur:''' Now I gotta tell you right now, I definitely want to see more Metal Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll definitely see Graduon's soul in Metal Sonichu's body, and uh, Skysoar will be employed under Graduon, and he'll make a few more of them.

'''Arthur:''' See, what you need in the series, I think to really push the bad guys now, instead of just having Jerkops, you need like, robotic Jerkops, like 2.0.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, pretty much, uh...

'''Arthur:''' After all, when you have a hero like Sonichu... Sonichu is already pretty powerful, and all of his friends are pretty strong too. You need to start adding that concept of conflict by making the enemies tougher too.

'''Chris:''' ...Yes, that will be taken under consideration. I already have a few-- I already have a few ideas on my mind, among which. But that is definitely one I could definitely add into, uh, the uh, into the Jerkop and Janekops, there.

'''Arthur:''' Because--

'''Chris:''' Make 'em-- make 'em a bit cyborg.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, you know, it's like, uh, it's like Power Rangers, the original Power Rangers, with Zordon? When they had the Putties, and then they had the Lord Zedd Putties?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. ...Quite. But anyway, yes, I will take all that under great consideration.

'''Arthur:''' Just ideas to implement. You know, create-- because after all, if you're going to make a cartoon, you definitely want it to be action-packed for the kids.

'''Chris:''' Uh, yes, action-packed, but also would like to be able to, put a good lesson or positive story in, every now and then.

'''Arthur:''' Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Put a nice little bit of Column A, and a little bit of Column B, and that makes sure you've got a great show for kids.

'''Chris:''' Yes. I do agree.

'''Arthur:''' Because after all, your core demographic are the kids, you want them, 'cause they're the ones who are gonna get their kids-- their parents to buy them Sonichu action figures, and Sonichu video games.

'''Chris:''' Yep, definitely in there amongst my pipe dreams, there.

'''Arthur:''' Well, the great thing about a pipe dream is it's always there. So if you try hard enough, it might happen.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Thank you.

'''Arthur:''' We're slowly building the foundations, here. Right now, this is the foundation. I'm going to show this to my superiors, and we're gonna see where things go from there.

'''Chris:''' That sounds good.

'''Arthur:''' I will get back to you, and I will share their ideas with you, to see what the next step is.

'''Chris:''' All right. That's good. And uh, definitely be sure to, uh, when you, when you broadcast this interview, to talk about my CWCVille shopping store on [[Etsy]].

'''Arthur:''' Absolutely.

'''Chris:''' And uh-- and I'm guessing that you do have to link to that, so copy and paste that to the storefront.

'''Arthur:''' Of course.

'''Chris:''' And, this-- this has been good.

'''Arthur:''' Yes, it's been a great conversation. Like I said before, it was a glorious opportunity to get this first opportunity to speak with you.

'''Chris:''' Yes, thank you.

'''Arthur:''' Of course. You're one of my-- I'm one of your biggest fans.

'''Chris:''' Thank you very much, I really do appreciate th-- your support, and everyone's sup-support, regardless of them being good or bad or trolls or bullies or indifferent.

'''Arthur:''' Well, you know what they say, Christine: all-- no publicity is bad publicity.

'''Chris:''' I have heard that, yes.

'''Arthur:''' So even if people, even if people are being [[jerks]] and making fun of you, they're still bringing attention to you, and bringing attention to you brings attention to Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Yes. I have realised that.

'''Arthur:''' All right, Christine. I think we've covered enough on this first little meeting. I'll get back to you in a few days to see how things have turned out with my superiors.

'''Chris:''' Okay, thank you, Arthur.

'''Arthur:''' No problem, Christine, you have a nice evening.

'''Chris:''' Yes, you have a good evening, too. Y'all take care.

'''Arthur:''' Thank you.

'''Chris:''' Bye bye.

'''Arthur:''' Goodbye.

== The Interview ==
Part 1:
[https://soundcloud.com/cat-knight-430471584/part-1-christine/s-iCiQa]
Part 2:
[https://soundcloud.com/cat-knight-430471584/part-2/s-o9B33]

Youtube Mirror:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2foze6TYvE]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2014-11-18T13:18:13Z

TurboJUK: removed repeating sections

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be [[Chris and Reality|closer to real life]], though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates [[Lie|liars]]. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her [[Obesity|fat]]. She points out that [[Women's rights|her face isn't under her shirt]] when Chris claims to have been looking at her face.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the [[Jerkops|police]] with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is autistic. [[Death threats|Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot.]] When it is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]], Solid is enraged by the idea. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being worried about being [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] instead of paying attention to what she is saying.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad gave Liquid his blessing, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about [[Honest Content|truth and honesty]]. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid asserts that he will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey & Liquid Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Ep6VulN-QdM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]; [[Liquid]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Father Call]]
| next = [[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' [[Kim]] and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad... That creeped my dad out! And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him! What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if you pissed me off... if I pissed you off! Come on!
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you [[lie]]? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm [[Honest Content|honest]]. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a "little lie". You lie all the time! That's pathetic!
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance! First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me! I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat, and on the other hand, you're like staring at me the whole time!
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face... I stare at your face. 
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And mbr>y name is Christian, and I'll thank you to call me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! I have been [[Honest Content|honest]] and [[Lie|true]]! [''Chris begins breaking down in tears'']
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taken Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the ''real'' Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— [[Kacey Call 1|He's been a]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|liar the whole time,]] [[Kacey Call 2|you know it...]]
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! You're 27, why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barb called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barb and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' No, Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barb that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/?08ro202hlz9pzlk the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5LnjUqby4 the call on YouTube]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

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2014-06-24T19:18:28Z

TurboJUK: Added link to June 2014

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<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's [[E-mails|e-mail]] correspondence. The format for using this template is as follows: 

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The End For Real (Kacey call)

2014-04-21T21:00:46Z

TurboJUK: replacing deleted download link

'''The End For Real''' is a phone call which took place between [[Kacey]] and Chris on [[November 2009|10 November 2009]], and led to Kacey severing all connections from Chris, [[Kacey#Marriage to Liquid|Kacey marrying Liquid Chris the following day]], and the resulting [[CWC is Sad|video]] in which Chris tried not to cry over losing his [[Chris and reality|potential]] [[sweetheart]].

It was leaked to the [[CWCki]] on 16 [[February 2011]].

== Part 1 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|NBmE4Z9sUBo}}
| Stardate = 10 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = First
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}}

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi, Chris. It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, hey Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I got [[Kim]]'s e-mail, she said to call you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, we need-yeah, uh, I feel like we need to, uh, talk, you know, [[Kacey and Liquid Call|sort out what happened the other night]]. Yeah, I did not mean-I did not mean to ignore you, and I was aware you were there and I'm sorr-I'm sorr-I wanted to call you guys back.
 '''Kacey:''' [speaks over Chris] Well, you didn't really... act like I was there, I, like, I'm pretty sure you just straight-out [[Women's rights|ignored everything I said]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes a strange grunting noise''] Yeah, yeah well let me talk about that. You see, uh, I have, uh, what- one of my problems is that I have [[Wikipedia:Tunnel vision|tunnel vision]]. You know, it's like, uh, when, like, [[Autism|you concentrate on one thing and you're pretty much set until its done]]. And, uh, and Chris was-
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaks over Chris''] It-It-It doesn't matter, it made me feel like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is more important than I was. You were more concerned about what he was saying even though you think they're lies, than what I was saying even though I'm saying the truth. I mean, it's like, it's like you wanted him more than you wanted me.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey... That's not true. That's not true.
 '''Kacey:''' But-But I mean, if you have tunnel vision shouldn't your tunnel vision have been pointed at ''me'' and not ''him''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you see, another one of my flaws is, uh, when I get really [[stressed]] my mind tends to blank out and my problem-solving skills, uh, pretty much, uh, temporary [[Chris and English|[''sic'']]] go down the toilet there. And...it just blank up and it justs really blanks me out, and, don't-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what's very important to me is that I have someone who can defend me, you weren't even defending me at all, you were just [[Chris and anger|screaming]] at him. I need someone who's quick on their feet. I mean, did you realize how much I was hurt last night?
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, I realize how much you were hurt, um, I'm very sorry about that, I real-I realize what a heel I was.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but did you really realize that, or did someone have to tell you that?
 '''Chris:''' Nope, I realized it. No one had to tell me. [''pause''] I did talk to Kim about it, though.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I know you talked to Kim, she's the one who e-mailed me.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yep. But, anyway, Kacey, I do love you. I really do. I'm very sorry I ignored you.
 '''Kacey:''' But, you haven't even tried to contact me until Kim told you to! I mean, how can you say you love me or care about me, and you were just going to, like, okay, I was so hurt, and I, I mean, what would you have done, I mean, if you didn't talk to me? I mean, I could have just gone off and done whatever, you would have been out of sight, out of mind. You couldn't even send a simple e-mail. I mean, it's like you didn't even care that I was hurt or crying or anything.
 '''Chris:''' No, I di-I did care. I just, uh, I was under st-I was under the shock, too.
 '''Kacey:''' What shock? There was no shock!
 '''Chris:''' You know, realizing what a heel I was and how hurt you were...and that made me feel hurt. You know? 'Cause...
 '''Kacey:''' Then, why didn't you try to contact me? You would think you want to if you hurt someone you, um, supposedly love.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I should have, yeah, I should have contacted you sooner. I just feel I-I thought-
 '''Kacey:''' You were too busy playing [[video games]] again, weren't you?
 '''Chris:''' No, I just thought-I just thought that you might need your spa-you might need some space, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I'm hurting so you're just going to let me hurt all alone, or-or-or worse, in your opinion, you were gonna let me be with Chris, I mean, what did you think was gonna happen? I mean, you were playing video games today anyway, don't lie to me, I know you were.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I played some video games. I played some video games.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Those are more important than me, too! How the heck are you supposed to have a [[girlfriend]] if you can't even talk to her unless her friend tells you to do it? You're just going to sit around and play video games all day, like, I could be hurt or sick or something, and you wouldn't know because your video games are more important.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, you are more important. And if I- [Chris begins to speak, but Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' But you're not acting like it at all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, maybe I'm not acting like uh guh, m-maybe I'm not giving that impression right now. But Kacey- [Chris is interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' Or ever.
 '''Chris:''' But Kacey, please believe me. You are very important. [[Chris and English|Because you are kind, caring]] [[China|woman]]. And you mean a lot to me. And I would really be hurt if something happened to you. And I will defend you. I really would. [mumbles incoherently]
 '''Kacey:''' But you never listen to me. You don't act like it. These are all just empty, meaningless words to me right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, y-I-I do listen to you.
 '''Kacey:''' No you don't! You haven't stopped eating McDonald's, you haven't gone jogging, you still play video games, you still ignore me. Name one thing that you do listen to me about. ONE thing.
 '''Chris:''' I did listen to you, on the fact that I should not go to McDonald's. And I have- [Interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' But I know you've been eating at McDonald's.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, uh, well, um, okay, yes, I was eating at McDonald's for a little while.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, and it's all fast food, you still go to fast food, I know you do.
 '''Chris:''' [[sigh|*stress sigh*]], I, okay, I have not gone to McDonald's for over a week.
 '''Kacey:''' Or ANY fast food.
 '''Chris:''' [[Lie|I have not gone to any fast food, have not eaten the fast food, for over a week.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Then [[McDonalds|what]] have you been eating? What did you eat tonight?
 '''Chris:''' I have been-I have been eating mostly TV Dinners.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' Like Michelina, or Banquet.
 '''Kacey:''' [[Chris_and_health|Have you looked at the nutritional values of those]]? Most of those are like, 300% sodium. That's just as bad, if not worse, because sodium can be just as bad as fat. Why don't you freshly prepare some food? I mean, even getting something at a deli is better. You should be making meals, you said you could cook. Or was that a lie too?
 '''Chris:''' ...I can cook.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why don't you?
 '''Chris:''' Because I-because I don't have the individual ingredients at the time.
 '''Kacey:''' [incredulous]...Then go buy them.
 '''Chris:''' And I will. I'm going to buy the individual ingredients to make- to make da better food.
 '''Kacey:''' Why haven't you already? I mean, if you can't even take the initiative to cook your food... I mean, why haven't you done this throughout your life?! Like, you're just lying to me again to make yourself look better, but I know you're never going to do it! I know you're not.
 '''Chris:''' I am. I am going to do it. I am going to do it. [long, awkward pause] I have been working on making myself better. I have been going out jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like, for like, what? Five minutes? I run five miles, 2.5 at the... least. I mean, you should be able to jog at least two miles by now if you were even trying. And you don't listen to- [Chris tries to speak over her, saying "I am trying."] me when I'm trying to tell you I'm worried about how you're probably losing muscle mass or anything. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I do- I listen to you and like... I-I-I really ap'riciate your concern, but that concern makes me think, and it makes me act... Truly.
 '''Kacey:''' That's- I mean, I saw those [[11042009 51 50|videos when you were trying to lift lemonade...]] Those weren't fifty pounds. I mean, that's not even a workout, anyway, that's not even balanced. Get some real weights. I mean, that's just gonna hurt you, 'cuz you're displacing the weight.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm going to get a pair of fifty pound weights...
 '''Kacey:''' Either way, it shouldn't have been that hard, I mean, you shouldn't have struggled with something that was like what, five, seven pounds?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well maybe I- Okay, I exa- I exa- I likely exaggerated when I said that they were each fifty.
 '''Kacey:''' That's a huge exaggeration! That's a ''big'' difference!
 '''Chris:''' They felt, like, more than twenty pounds apiece.
 '''Kacey:''' Kim said they were ten pounds. I'm not even sure if it's that much.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well... okay, I-I do not claim to actually know how many pounds one of those actually is...
 '''Kacey:''' Then you shouldn't have.

== Part 2 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|0SxPP6z8f0g}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}}

 '''Chris:''' But, it felt like at least twenty.
 '''Kacey:''' No it's not. I'm looking it up on Google right now and it says around eight, ten pounds. I mean, it's just [[Honor roll|simple math and conversion]].
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how hard is it to look it up, so you don't look stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I could've- I could've looked it up. I just didn't- I did not think about that. I did not think of that. One of my faults, sometimes I don't think of everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, do you ever think, cause I'm starting to think you don't, because you've been making a ''lot'' of mistakes lately. And... it's really, really, making ''me'' think. I mean, I'm tired of the excuses.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm ti- I, I don't like excuses either.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why do you make them all the time? That's all you ever do.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Okay, maybe- okay. I have made some excuses in the past.
 '''Kacey:''' You make a ''lot'' of excuses in the past. You make any excuse, you ever do, it's always "[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it]]," or "I'm thinking about it," like, whenever you say stuff like that I know it's not going to get done. I mean, that's really bad, when... I already ''know'' you're not going to do anything by the words you say. You're just gonna continue to make excuses. You left me alone for several days after you heard how upset I was! The hell? You really think I want a boyfriend like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you ta- yeah, you would not want a boyfriend like that. But, I ca-yeah, I mean I have, I realize that...
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so, you see what I'm saying. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand... what you are saying. And I could be better, and I am willing to improve.
 '''Kacey:''' Sssomehow, I don't really think you're going to.
 '''Chris:''' I am going to improve on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you haven't yet, so... why would I believe you now?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long silence]'' Okay, you have every right to question that, but... please believe me, I mean, ya know, one thing that- ya know, I would be, I would be ''glad'' to be there for you, but... I don't know your address.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter, you should be able to be there for me otherwise. You haven't earned that address. I mean, is that really all you've got? I mean... and after that comic, how wo- why would I want to give you my address? You're just going to shoot [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] or me anyway!
 '''Chris:''' I, I promise you, I would not shoot anybody for real. I do not even own a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' Doesn't mean you couldn't get one, I could get a gun and I don't own one.
 '''Chris:''' I do not, I have no intention on getting a real gun in the near future.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, but it's so easy to get guns, do you remember the Virginia Tech shooter? It's easy. Doesn't matter, all you need to do is get mad again, then you'll just ignore me anyway.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you that I would not ignore you in the future, even when I get- even when I get... riled up, and angry and [mumbling], I would not ignore you.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, you've ignored me enough, don't you think it might be a little too late? I mean, that comic really scared me, I mean, I'm pretty sure... you shot him in the comic so he couldn't follow and take me back. I mean, that's just ''creepy''. That's psychotic. That's delusional.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I, I agree with you, that... I may have some issues to resolve with Chris. Like, you know, I definitely should... like, you know, try... to sit in front of him...
 '''Chris:''' ...and discuss things, calmly...
 '''Kacey:''' You think he's gonna do that after he saw that comic?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, obviously he definitely has other skeletons in his closet-
 '''Kacey:''' This isn't about him; this isn't about him. This is about you. And I'm tired of you talking bad about him.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yeah. I don- I don't like talking bad about people, but-
 '''Kacey:''' But you do all the time!
 '''Chris:''' Well, only... just, only- ok, well.
 '''Kacey:''' Tell me again why you think you're better than him. Go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm- because I'm loyal.
 '''Kacey:''' You're not very loyal; you haven't called me. You're not very honest; you lie to me all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Because I tell you- I tell you everything I'm- from my heart. And [when] I tell you I love you, I mean it.
 '''Kacey:''' That's lying. You can't even send me a simple email to make sure I'm OK. Like, I don't think you get how hurt and angry I am, so no, I want something that you're better at him at that is real, because your lies come from your heart too.
 '''Chris:''' [Stuttering incoherently for a rebuttal] Ok, I have made the mistake of lying at-
 '''Kacey:''' A lot.
 '''Chris:''' A lot, a lot, but a lot of the things that I have told you, in the past, were true. I swear, I have told you a lot of truth like you know, like when I tell you about myself on the kind of person I am, those are true. And how I feel about you, that's true, too.
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that?
 '''Chris:''' And my hit-
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know you're not just ready to drop me, because it's easier, or something stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Because... we started out as friends, and I in-
 '''Kacey:''' That's right, friends.
 '''Chris:''' Well, hang on, hang on! We started out as friends with the possibility of a relationship, and I would like a relationship.
 '''Kacey:''' How would we start off as friend with the possibility of a relationship? You lied to me the first time you talked to me.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did the things-
 '''Kacey:''' You pretended to be my boyfriend, my fiance.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did pretend to be Chris. But that was in the case, to let you know, that he was who you- he was not who you thought he was. You know, he was- He ''was'' pretending to be me.
 '''Kacey:''' He wasn't pretending to be you! This is what I don't get. Stop saying he's pretending to be you. Just 'cause you guys have the same name doesn't mean he was pretending to be you, because you two are two totally different people.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yes, we are two totally different people, and I can list the whole number of things that I am and he's no- that he's not that he claims.
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can list the whole things he does that you can't. He can play guitar. He doesn't lie to me. He jogs with me. He does stuff with me. He doesn't sit around and play video games. He has a job. He has a college education. He goes to school. I mean, wh- the hell? I mean, c'mon. Do it, do it. Sho- Tell me. Tell me what's he's not doing and I bet you I can refute everything.
 '''Chris:''' ''[stutters, then sighs]''
 '''Kacey:''' So you don't have anything, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, I can definitely tell you that he did not go to Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is he's in school now. And that he's gonna make himself better.
 '''Chris:''' He is... yes he is, okay, he is...
 '''Kacey:''' His high s- I told you before, high school doesn't matter to me, it's stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Well, you get your education through high school. You need your high school diploma to move on to college...
 '''Kacey:''' Not really, anyone can get their GED and blaze through it. What matters even more than high school education is like your SATs and your ACTs. College is what's important to me. Because that shows a future. I mean, I bet you don't even know what a GED is.
 '''Chris:''' I do know, I have a general idea of what a GED is.

== Part 3 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 3
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|dGsmT70aDus}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Final]]
}}

 '''Chris:''' It's a sort of degree.
 '''Kacey:''' ...No... It's... in place of a diploma. I mean, did you even take the SAT?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I did take the SAT in high school.
 '''Kacey:''' What was your scores?
 '''Chris:''' ...I do not remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh come on, you've got to remember. Nobody forgets their SAT scores.
 '''Chris:''' It, uh, with a small detail like that, and I felt it was small... it was in one ear and out the other.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, was it- was it above 1100? Was it above 1200? Was it above... anything like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mmm... Ah, yeah, I think it, I think it was... over 1100. [long pause] But that's to the best of my recollection. [[Lie|I swear]].
 '''Kacey:''' So you had something over 1100, but you went to a community college. I mean, did- did you even try to get into a university? Not that I'm saying community colleges are bad, but, come on.
 '''Chris:''' I did- yeah well, yeah, my mom and dad advised me to go ''to'' the community college, because my family could not afford university.
 '''Kacey:''' That's... my- okay, okay, first off... you're on [[Monthly tugboat|disability]]. Government would have paid for your schooling, the end. That's just being lazy. Um, number two, financial aid and student loans. That would have been all on you, not on them. And the thing is, you... should at ''least'' have transferred to university ''after'' the community college cause community college is a stepping stone. Yes, it's a great way to get your classes for cheaper, but then you ''have'' to go to university to get, like, a bachelor's. I mean, did you even look into that?
 '''Chris:''' That had not come to mind. By the way, I ca- by the way, just to let you know, I did check with my mom and dad, I mean... yes, they were in for, of the, of the financial aid, but they...
 '''Kacey:''' Well then your parents should have done something about that, that just shows your parents didn't care about your future either. But it's not up to them. You should have done it, why didn't you use it? ''[talking over Chris]'' I wish I'd had financial aid right way.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Look. I would have taken the financial aid if I-if I could, but my mom and dad, there was a whole lot of stress going on in just starting out at the community college...
 '''Kacey:''' But you still... should have been able to do it later... ''[Chris stutters]'' Don't you overtalk me! Don't overtalk me. That's the thing, it's always stress, it's always stress this stress that. It...doesn't...''matter''. You should have been able to do something ''afterwards''. Even if you didn't do it right away, you should have been able to go to a four-year university afterwards, and gotten something better than just a little [[CADD]] certificate...whatever. An associate's doesn't do ''shit.'' I'm... I mean, like, I'm sick and tired of hearing you use the word "stress." You don't know stress. We've been through this before. You ''don't know'' what stress is.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I will not disagree with you...but on the...
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn ''straight'' you're not gonna disagree with me because you know I'm right! You don't have a job, you don't even- you don't have job stress. You...You sit around, play video games, and get... ''money''. If your life was a hundred times more stressful than it is now, you still wouldn't have as much stress as I do, you wouldn't have as much stress as...my ''[[Chandler cats|cat]]'', probably.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, y-you're probably right.
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn straight I'm right! I mean, you take days off where you don't do anything except color or play video games. ''[pause]'' I mean, I don't think you get... that all you have shown me the whole time I've known you, is that you don't want to do anything unless it's easy. You want everything to be handed ''to'' you. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of ambitious. Why would I want someone like that?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, you're right. I would not want, uh... I would, if I was to... go out with a woman, I, ah, would want one who was a go-getter. And you...
 '''Kacey:''' But the thing is, don't you think go-getters want ''other'' go-getters? Why would I want someone who's just gonna lay at home and suck up my money? I mean, cause that's all it would be, instead of sucking up the government's money you'd be sucking up my money. And, uh, I'm not sure I'd like that. At all. I mean, I don't want to have to take care of someone until I have kids, and you're ''definitely'' not my kid.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' I can definitely, be able- I can definitely take care of myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No you can't! You don't have a job. Can't take care of yourself without a job. My job is hanging on a thread, and I'm still doing way better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, you're doing... way better than me. You know a lot more than I do.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, seriously, tell me: without your parents, could you survive?
 '''Chris:''' I would do my best to survive, and... I think I would get by.
 '''Kacey:''' Really. Your best. Because, I mean... what kind of bills do you think need to be paid off every month?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah... electric, water, heating... that sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[pause]'' Um, how about car insurance? Um, [[Television|cable?]]
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, car, um...
 '''Kacey:''' Rent? Property? You got taxes? Um, trash pickup if you have trash? Recycling if you have recycling? Oh, and don't forget any repairs.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, there is all that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how much do you get a month again? Like, what, 600?
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm ge- I'm getting... about 800 a month right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Still, my bills are slightly larger than that. I mean, you couldn't survive on your own. And, I mean, these are my bills with ''roommates.'' I don't think you could survive without your parents. You can't even move out! And even if you could move out, you wouldn't have anybody to move out ''with''! That's, that's insane!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is insane. And I...
 '''Kacey:''' Then why haven't you done something about it?! I have been living out on my own since I was eighteen, nineteen. You are twenty-seven! And you haven't moved out yet!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well one reason is- yeah, I don't have anybody to move out... with.
 '''Kacey:''' I moved out with ''nothing.'' I moved out with no job, hardly any money, without a car, and I still survived. And I got myself a job, and I got myself a car.
 '''Chris:''' Well I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, find someone, there's people in craigslist, the newspapers, um universities, everywhere. You can find something. You can find someone who, will just rent a room. And then you don't even need to be around that person. I mean, Hell, you could probably get housing.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, [stutters] That's true, but ah... If I move out that's actually- I think I could be able to move out.. with my girlfriend. I don't, I mean, I wouldn't want just some other, I don't think- I just wouldn't feel comfortable-
 '''Kacey:''' [cuts in] But be realistic Chris, I mean.
 '''Chris:''' with some kind of stranger...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to know how to live on your own before you go into a relationship. Because if you go straight into, living out with a relationship, it's going to put a strain on there. I mean, you need to know how to deal with strangers, you need to know how to live on your own. I mean if you can't take care of yourself, you can't expect to be in a relationship. You'll just drag it down. Besides, I mean, you shouldn't move out with someone right away anyway, so you should probably live on your own first. I mean, besides, if you keep acting the way you're acting, you aren't likely to get a girlfriend anyway. Besides, if you had your own place to be, it'd be easier, because then there'd be a place for her to move and normally it's the girl who moves in with the guy. [obvious sounds of Kacey being tired from wailing on Chris so much] And ''besides,'' if you can't-

== Part 4 ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real, Part 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|qbFaHzrtoo4}}
| Stardate = 10 [[November 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
| next = Final
}}

 '''Kacey:''' even take care of that, how do you expect to take care of a daughter... Which you keep dreaming about. I mean, are you expecting to just marry someone rich?
[''slight pause'']
 '''Chris:''' No, I do not... I- [cut off by Kacey]
 '''Kacey:''' Then how are you gonna take care of her? How are you gonna take care of a daughter?
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris_and_Reality|One day at a time.]]
 '''Kacey:''' No, there is no one day at a time. You-You... There is no one day at a time. You do that, you're going to [[Obesity|starve.]] You need ''plans.'' I mean, that's like Alcoholics Anonymous, that's not living.
 '''Chris:''' [[Alcohol|Well, I mean, at least I don't go out and get drunk every night.]] I don't do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know what, at least those drunks could pay for their drinks. You couldn't even do that! I mean, are you just trying to make yourself look good?
 '''Chris:''' [incoherent mumbling, sounds like he's repeating what Kacey just asked him] Yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, stop! It's-It's... I mean, that's- uh, that's stupid!
 '''Chris:''' Well, wait, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' You're comparing apples to oranges!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, wait, maybe I'm misunderstanding the ques- maybe I misunderstood the question. You just said, I mean, I thought you said, uh, "[...]trying to make myself look good."
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you're just trying to make yourself look good by comparing yourself to someone you think is worse than you. But, I mean, you're not going to be able to always do that. That's not adult.
 '''Chris:''' [completely skipping over the latter half of her last statements] Oooh, yeah, okay, yeah, now I understand. I just, mm... okay. Mmmm... Yeah. Mmm... Yeah, but, that is, uh, that is kind of a lame deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, at this point, they're probably better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're pro'lly- Yeah... You're right. A lot of people are better than me. Uh... In situations of being able to take care of him or herselves... Themselves.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, so obviously you're never gonna be able to take care of anyone. Why would girls want that? Girls want [[Liquid_Chris|real men.]] They want somebody who's gonna give them comfort and security. Not saying that the girl shouldn't be making money, too, and helping out, but I mean, nobody wants somebody who's just going to, [scoff] to, just, lay there and do nothing!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, oh-kay, look at what I'm being offered with Chris. Look at what I'm being offered with you. If you were me, what would you do?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... Yeah... Probably go to one that's better. But... Lemme just ask you- I mean, I know it's not about Chris, lemme ask you, have you actually ''checked'' his back- his background and actually seen where he works?
 '''Kacey:''' ''Yes!'' And that's why he- I know he's honest with me! And it doesn't matter anyway, you just said it's not about him, but then you made it about him. I mean, I've been to a company lunch with him.
 '''Chris:''' Well, um, I was just askin'. I was just askin'.
 '''Kacey:''' So, I mean, seriously, once again, I mean, who do you think would be the better one?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, [[Liquid_Chris|him.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so why-why do you think I would even give you a chance after all the lies and all the ch-shit you put me through? You ignored me.
 '''Chris:''' I lis- I listen to your every word, I ''did...'' I-I-Okay, well...
 [''Chris and Kacey talk over each other, Kacey comes out victorious'']
 '''Kacey:''' If you listen to it, you definitely didn't do anything about it. I mean, stop lying.
 '''Chris:''' I have been exercising, I have been... going out walking and jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, for five minutes. Not good enough. Totally not good enough.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, not good en-could be better. Could be better.
 '''Kacey:''' Could be ''a LOT'' better. I mean, working is not good enough if you don't push yourself. Then you're not really working on it. Then you're just kinda coasting through it. You're just kinda being half-assed. Do I really seem like the girl who needs someone half-assed?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're not the... kinda girl that would want somebody who's... half-assed.
 [''21 second pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just... [sigh] Right now, in my eyes, you're just a horrible human being. You leech off [[Monthly_Tugboat|everyone.]] And I can't stand that, for one, you don't even know the principles of your religion right, which is extremely important to me. You've insulted and hurt my fiancé beyond anything, then you've insulted and hurt me, you've ignored me, you think ''he's'' more important, you've disrespected everyone on [[Twin_Falling_Towers|9/11,]] when, of course, nothing touches YOU, you insulted my father, you insulted my family... You- I mean, you compared my grandmother dying to a [[Patti-chan|DOG.]] A ''dog.'' A mangy, dirty dog. I mean. Oh. My. [[Godjesus#Concept_of_God_.28or:_GodJesus.29|GOD.]]
 '''Chris:''' [obviously jumping over everything Kacey just said yet again] Patti was not a mangy, dirty dog... She was a member of my family.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well, that still doesn't mean that she's like my grandmother dying in a terrorist attack. She still a damned dog. I mean, I love my cats and everything, but they're still cats! She was still a damn dog. I mean, fuck you for even COMPARING that to my grandmother dying.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well- kay...
 '''Kacey:''' You don't understand life, you don't understand [[Chris_and_Death|death,]] obviously.
 '''Chris:''' I do understand death. It hurts...
 '''Kacey:''' The thing is, you don't understand. I mean, you're not even going to live to see thirty. Why would I wanna be with someone who I know is going to be dead in four years? Three years? I mean... [sigh] I wouldn't even give you five years. My family hates you, you're lying to me, you're nasty to my friends, you lie to my friends. I mean, don't think I don't know that you don't lie to Kim. Don't think I don't know that you don't lie to me! I don't think you'd have luck with anyone, to tell you the truth. So you can not tell me that you want me to be with you or that you love me because you're just gonna die wasting your life playing video games and doing nothing. I mean, even though a [[CADD]] degree isn't much, you haven't done anything with it. You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want. You definitely didn't fight for me, so you know what? I don't need this at all. This is totally not what I need. I mean, fuck you, I don't even wanna be friends, because you are a total waste of space. I mean, you disrespect everyone. And you know what? I'm getting married tomorrow, 2PM. You know what, and it's all thanks to you, cause if it weren't for you being such an [[Nudes|ass,]] I wouldn't see what a great person Chris is and how much he really does love me 'cause I had someone to compare him to, who doesn't give a [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] about me, who only loves his video games and himself. So you know what? You- Just- You know what? I don't even care because I don't even have anything to say to you because you know what, won't hurt about this, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|you'll be over this by tomorrow]]. I will never see anything that shows you're even hurt by this or you even care! So you know what, I'm going to go ahead and get married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead. I mean, I'd recommend talking to someone about that. Y'should probably call up, you know, an institution, therapy, something, because, I mean, you're gonna be the five- doing the same thing in five minutes. I bet you I will never be mentioned again by you. You're not gonna be upset. You're not gonna do anything. I bet you anything I'm gonna see a new video being like, "Oh, who the hell was Kacey? I'm going after..." I don't even care anymore. I. Don't. Care. I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy, so you know what? Go do whatever because you know what, just fuck you, you're just gonna go off with someone else because, I mean, you've already shown me that, you've already shown me that, sooo... Have fun making a video about meeting a new girlfriend, because I'm done.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh...
 '''Kacey:''' Peace out.
 [''tape ends'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]|nextlink=[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]|Final]]}}

==External links==

[http://www.mediafire.com/download/1d241aekda9c2ce/111009theendforreal.mp3 Download call (MP3)]

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