CWCki - User contributions [en]

Tour of Chris's House II

2014-12-08T04:16:25Z

Ty Delle: /* Transcript */

In this video, leaked by [[Alec Benson Leary]] on 11 December [[2013]], [[Chris]] provides a '''second tour of [[14 Branchland Court|his house]]''' and the property that it's on, showing how it has deteriorated even further since [[Tour of Chris's House|the first house tour video]] in [[March 2009]].

The exact date in which the video was filmed has not been established with certainty. Chris's narration seems to imply that the video was shot after Bob's death, suggesting a date after 6 [[September 2011]]. The video may have been shot during early May 2013.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Tour of Chris's House II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WIGTdQhhxCA}}
| stardate = 11 December [[2013]]
| subject = [[14 Branchland Court]]
| style = {{Reason}} Reason
| saga =
| shirt = Not visible
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]
| next = [[Hello, my sweety baby]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Sounds of clutter can be heard as Chris steps over a pile of trash.''] Mmph... Mmph. What you just seen was the living room, pretty much where [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] and I are in, ([[Stress sigh|''Sighs'']]) then what's been... what's blocked off the other side of the... actually that... actually that was the family room in it's entirety, both halves. But, the other half, the second half was blocked.

And then the bathroom down here and [''struggles over the garbage blocking the passage''], pretty much the, that's pretty much the utility room, laundry, and back door, which that too is blocked. So freakin' cluttered in here, in this house. [''grunts repeatedly'']

[[Bob Chandler|Mr. C]], my father, [[Obesity|had to have narrow passageways, but they were not this narrow]]. Anyway uh, steps going to up the front door right there, and then more steps going up... ([[Chris and health|''Pants heavily'']]) [[Chris's kitchen|Kitchen]] very much blocked off all over... with the ''[[Wikipedia:Resident Evil|Resident Evil]]'' refrigerator right there. I use the term ''Resident Evil'' because in Japan, ''Resident Evil'' video game is called ''Biohazard''. And the one I cleaned recently.

That's as much of the living room as you can see above... To, above this lot, which essentially consists of two couches, hardly been used. [''Sighs'']

Bu- way through this narrow hallway, upstairs bathroom with bathtub and shower, pretty much [[April 16 Fetish Vids|hasn't changed]] since the (''unintelligible'') since the trolls first saw it. [''Sighs'']

And this is [[Chris's room|my room]], obviously. Lot more cleaner than it is now, lot more clearer than the rest of the house, actually right now. Couch under that pile. Um, I'll make the bed shortly after. Anyway that's pretty much the inside of the house.

I guess I better show... I guess I better show you the outside as well. [''Bends down to pick up what appears to be a plastic lighter.''] (Unintelligible) [''Sighs as he knocks something else to the floor.'']

[[The Simpsons|D'oh]]. [''Sighs again''] Droppin' everything. It's so crowded in here! [''Sighs''] Hoarding mom and dad and... everything... [''Sighs''] Cluttered, freaking cluttered.

[''Chris descends the stairs and opens the front door.'']

Hey [[Chandler cats#Scamper|Scamper]]! Yep, and we just exit the front of the house to the front yard. And there's accessible portion of the [[Wikipedia:Daylily|daylily]] garden.

That's essentially the front of the house. Yeah, that's... Yeah, I think the front yard is more cluttered than the back yard. Eh, there's garden shed. Pretty much not used n-nowadays.

My father liked to spend time in there. Yeah, trees cluttering up par-... cluttering up the gardens. And, driveway... more dead than the garden patch. There goes...

And, you saw [[Clover and Snoopy|the pen]] in the back yard earlier. Mmkay, so that's pretty much, that's the- well, actually there's one room I missed. One room I missed.

[''Chris re-enters the house and descends the stairs, approaching a wall of clutter. He places the camera in a small hole in the wall, revealing an entire room behind it.'']

And behind this... door frame is... music room. Cluttered in there too. So yeah, I'm not too proud of the state of the house. Okay? So that's pretty much everything right now.

==See also==
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]
*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
==References==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]|nextlink=[[Hello, my sweety baby]]|}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris's house]]

War Paint Video

2014-08-18T06:24:18Z

Ty Delle: /* Transcript */

[[Image:Megatron pistol.jpg|thumb|A traditional [[Megatron pistol|weapon]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]]]]

The '''War Paint Video''' (officially titled '''10142009''', not be confused with [[Challenge for Clyde II|another video with same title and posted the same day]]) is a video in which [[Chris]] delivers some sort of poem to the [[trolls]] while wearing "Amerindian" face paint. He then proclaims his proud [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] heritage while at the same time showing a complete [[honor roll|lack of knowledge]] about anything to do with Native American culture by [[Chris and race|repeating tired old Native American stereotypes]].

Also, if one looks close enough, the outline of Chris's [[Sports bra photo series|sports bra]] is visible through his shirt. There is also a set of [[Plush Breasts]] in the lower left corner of the frame (they are more easily seen in the later [[Brutal Legend]] video).

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = War Paint Video
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6YnwSa0o990}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
| next = [[15 October 2009]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Chants]'' Calling all trolls! Calling all trolls! You are at-We are at war! This is war! ''[Normally]'' I will not stand idly by while you [[Chris and English|take heed]] and mock and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] my friends and [[Bob|my]] [[Barb|family]]. For [[Chris and Reality|you have dishonored me]], and I will not stand for it! As I stand upon my native Cherokee heritage. [[Death threats|I will-I will hunt you down you damn dirty trolls! This is war!]]

'''''AIYIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI-YI!!'''''

''[Produces the [[Megatron pistol]] seen in [[CWC is Angry]]]''

[[Chris and English|Put down your wares and bring yourselves unto me]] [[Death threats|I will hun-Or I will hunt you down and really smite thee!]] You have [[Chris and English|been warned with the Cherokee ancestry.]]

''[Pause]''

[[Wikipedia:How (greeting)|How!]]

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = How Could You, Chris?
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hiiMeui27Qg}}
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/OhhhMyAxels OhhhMyAxels]
| stardate = 15 [[October 2009]]
}}

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[ECV 00001]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|nextlink=[[15 October 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-14]]

War Paint Video

2014-08-18T06:23:42Z

Ty Delle: /* Transcript */

[[Image:Megatron pistol.jpg|thumb|A traditional [[Megatron pistol|weapon]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]]]]

The '''War Paint Video''' (officially titled '''10142009''', not be confused with [[Challenge for Clyde II|another video with same title and posted the same day]]) is a video in which [[Chris]] delivers some sort of poem to the [[trolls]] while wearing "Amerindian" face paint. He then proclaims his proud [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] heritage while at the same time showing a complete [[honor roll|lack of knowledge]] about anything to do with Native American culture by [[Chris and race|repeating tired old Native American stereotypes]].

Also, if one looks close enough, the outline of Chris's [[Sports bra photo series|sports bra]] is visible through his shirt. There is also a set of [[Plush Breasts]] in the lower left corner of the frame (they are more easily seen in the later [[Brutal Legend]] video).

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = War Paint Video
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6YnwSa0o990}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
| next = [[15 October 2009]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Chants]'' Calling all trolls! Calling all trolls! You are at-We are at war! This is war! ''[Normally]'' I will not stand idly by while you [[Chris and English|take heed]] and mock and-[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] my friends and [[Bob|my]] [[Barb|family]]. For [[Chris and Reality|you have dishonored me]], and I will not stand for it! As I stand upon my native Cherokee heritage. [[Death threats|I will-I will hunt you down you damn dirty trolls! This is war!]]

'''''AIYIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI-YI!!'''''

''[Produces the [[Megatron pistol]] seen in [[CWC is Angry]]]''

[[Chris and English|Put down your wares and bring yourselves unto me]] [[Death threats|I will hun-Or I will hunt you down and really smite thee!]] You have [[Chris and English|been warned with the Cherokee ancestry.]]

''[Pause]''

[[Wikipedia:How (greeting)|How!]]

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = How Could You, Chris?
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hiiMeui27Qg}}
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/OhhhMyAxels OhhhMyAxels]
| stardate = 15 [[October 2009]]
}}

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[ECV 00001]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|nextlink=[[15 October 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-14]]

Autism Tutorial Part 1

2014-08-10T03:01:28Z

Ty Delle: /* Transcript */

'''Autism Tutorial Part 1''' is the first in a series of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' levels Chris uploaded on 13 February 2011. Chris once again reads off of [[Wikipedia]]'s [[autism]] article, this time adding his own two cents. Of note, Chris seems to be aware of the accepted cause of autism, and semi-correctly blames his [[Bob Chandler|father]] for it.

==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|B1mbTyKiqF8}}</Center>

===Transcript===

Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]]. And I am [[autistic]] – high-functionally autistic. In this animation, with [[Wikipedia]] facts and book diagrams and in my own words and opinions, we will look into autism: What it is, possible causes, and treatments and cures. And how we autistics SHOOOULD be treated and respected [''voice deepens with gravelly rage''] ''in real life social situations.''
''[Subtitles: "An Autism Tutorial" A [[LittleBiGPlanet]] animation by , and Starring, and Voicing, as himself, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]" "of Ruckersville, VA. U.S.A.. PSN: Sonichu. Creation and Production Started on [[January 2011|January 21 2011]]. Facts on Autism provided by Wikipedia's Autism page at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism Diagrahm of brain and other facts comes from the hard-cover book" "Autism", by Peggy J. Parks, published in 2009.]''

First, autism: What is it? In a nutshell, it is a [[Chris|malfunctioning]] in the neural development that impairs [[Honest Content|social interactions]], [[Speech Impediment|communications]], and [[Sonichu|restrictive]] or [[CWC-isms|repetitive behaviors]]. In the brain, autism affects many parts. Autism especially affects the connection between the amygdala, the social and [[anger|emotional]] behavioral gland, and the cerebral cortex and maybe cerebellum, the [[reality|logic]] and [[love quest|goal-making]] parts.
''[Subtitles: Other facts and stories of other people with Autism can be researched from this and other books at your local Library, Educational Videos and online directly at www.autism.org, or through search engines.]''

The connectors between the matter is called the corpus callosum, which I believe is the most effective. In my theory, a cure may be found in repairing this major component of the brain. The facts also state that autism occurs pre-birth, sadly in mutated genetics within the chromosomes, which can happen when the pregnant mother [[Tobacky|smokes]], [[McDonald's|binges]], takes drugs or certain meds, and other non- or real environmental factors, such as car exhaust. ''Ladies, get off the [[Tobacky|drugs]] NOW.''

Another factor lies in the [[Bob Chandler|father’s]] age upon child conception. The [[Barb|mother’s]] age is not a factor here. DUDES, HAVE YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE LIKE FORTY OR FIFTY! Anyway, the mutated chromosomes can involve deletion, duplication, and/or swapping. Scientists are still researching if- [''abrupt jump-cut'']

Common symptoms of autism include, and should be observed to notice: Little-to-no eye contact, mal-communication with [[Speech impediment|delayed babbling]], [[Claw of Fail|unusual gestures]], low responsiveness – try calling their name. At that young age, they seldom respond if they have autism – as well as [[Speech impediment|unsynched atypical vocal patterns]]. They also would have [[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|lack of intuition of other people]], [[Chris and Reality|lack of attention to social stimuli]], and little-to-no [[fangs|smiling]]. [[Things Chris has ripped off|Imagination]] and imaginative play is often blank in autistic minds, but with training they may be able to think in pictures at least, like the famous [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin Miss Temple Grandon]. By the way, boys are more affected with autism than girls. That’s just the way it is.

Compulsive behavior, or a type of A.D.D. [[Jack Thaddeus|Attention Difi-Deficit Disorder]], is also common. In worse cases, [[28 October 2011|self-destructive behavior]] such as self-cutting, hurting others, and bullying possibly, may be apparent. Fortunate for me I do not go into self-destructiveness. I do not hurt myself, and [[Death Threats|I]] [[Megan|do]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|not]] [[Ryan Cash|hurt]] [[Clyde Cash|others]]. The worst for me is essentially biting my fingernails… sometimes. Feeling restricted is also common. Staying within their [[Chris's Room|comfort zones]] with [[lie|realistic]] behavior – oh, [[Chris_and_religion#Chris_the_Shaman|ritualistic]] behavior, and such. And with repetition in play, we may as well be walking around in circles… [[Chris and English|for infinity time]]! And [[Chris|some]] of us actually do.

Parents and guardians should be very watchful and cautious of any autistic symptoms [''camera pans to a picture of Chris with appropriately meaningless labels''], as they can be obvious by the age of three years old. I myself spoke first at six weeks with the word “monkey”, in an attempt at saying ''“mommy”'' [''said in a very toddler-like inflection'']. My vocabulary and speech grew great until I stopped talking at one-and-a-half years old, and I did not speak again until I when was seven. The other infant symptoms followed in suit.

A controversy began when they blamed mercury in MMR vaccines. Though it was removed from all vaccines in early 2000, and yet the autism rate still grew over the decade.
''[Subtitles: The LBP 3D Layering glitch used throughout was found by Bakscratch and tools and [...] of the glitch was aided by TheAdipose, who also credits Compermc and Teebonesey.]]''

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|First]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 1

2014-08-10T03:01:12Z

Ty Delle:

'''Autism Tutorial Part 1''' is the first in a series of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' levels Chris uploaded on 13 February 2011. Chris once again reads off of [[Wikipedia]]'s [[autism]] article, this time adding his own two cents. Of note, Chris seems to be aware of the accepted cause of autism, and semi-correctly blames his [[Bob Chandler|father]] for it.

==Video==

<Center> {{#ev:youtube|B1mbTyKiqF8}}</Center>

===Transcript===

Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]]. And I am [[autistic]] – high-functionally autistic. In this animation, with [[Wikipedia]] facts and book diagrams and in my own words and opinions, we will look into autism: What it is, possible causes, and treatments and cures. And how we autistics SHOOOULD be treated and respected [''voice deepens with gravelly rage''] ''in real life social situations.''
''[Subtitles: "An Autism Tutorial" A [[LittleBiGPlanet]] animation by , and Starring, and Voicing, as himself, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]" "of Ruckersville, VA. U.S.A.. PSN: Sonichu. Creation and Production Started on [[January 2011|January 21 2011]]. Facts on Autism provided by Wikipedia's Autism page at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism Diagrahm of brain and other facts comes from the hard-cover book" "Autism", by Peggy J. Parks, published in 2009.]''

First, autism: What is it? In a nutshell, it is a [[Chris|malfunctioning]] in the neural development that impairs [[Honest Content|social interactions]], [[Speech Impediment|communications]], and [[Sonichu|restrictive]] or [[CWC-isms|repetitive behaviors]]. In the brain, autism affects many parts. Autism especially affects the connection between the amygdala, the social and [[anger|emotional]] behavioral gland, and the cerebral cortex and maybe cerebellum, the [[reality|logic]] and [[love quest|goal-making]] parts.
''[Subtitles: Other facts and stories of other people with Autism can be researched from this and other books at your local Library, Educational Videos and online directly at www.autism.org, or through search engines.]''

The connectors between the matter is called the corpus callosum, which I believe is the most effective. In my theory, a cure may be found in repairing this major component of the brain. The facts also state that autism occurs pre-birth, sadly in mutated genetics within the chromosomes, which can happen when the pregnant mother [[Tobacky|smokes]], [[McDonald's|binges]], takes drugs or certain meds, and other non- or real environmental factors, such as car exhaust. ''Ladies, get off the [[Tobacky|drugs]] NOW.''

Another factor lies in the [[Bob Chandler|father’s]] age upon child conception. The [[Barb|mother’s]] age is not a factor here. DUDES, HAVE YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE LIKE FORTY OR FIFTY! Anyway, the mutated chromosomes can involve deletion, duplication, and/or swapping. Scientists are still researching if- [''abrupt jump-cut'']

Common symptoms of autism include, and should be observed to notice: Little-to-no eye contact, mal-communication with [[Speech impediment|delayed babbling]], [[Claw of Fail|unusual gestures]], low responsiveness – try calling their name. At that young age, they seldom respond if they have autism – as well as [[Speech impediment|unsynched atypical vocal patterns]]. They also would have [[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|lack of intuition of other people]], [[Chris and Reality|lack of attention to social stimuli]], and little-to-no [[fangs|smiling]]. [[Things Chris has ripped off|Imagination]] and imaginative play is often blank in autistic minds, but with training they may be able to think in pictures at least, like the famous [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin Miss Temple Grandon]. By the way, boys are more affected with autism than girls. That’s just the way it is.

Compulsive behavior, or a type of A.D.D. [[Jack Thaddeus|Attention Difi-Deficit Disorder]], is also common. In worse cases, [[28 October 2011|self-destructive behavior]] such as self-cutting, hurting others, and bullying possibly, may be apparent. Fortunate for me I do not go into self-destructiveness. I do not hurt myself, and [[Death Threats|I]] [[Megan|do]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|not]] [[Ryan Cash|hurt]] [[Clyde Cash|others]]. The worst for me is essentially biting my fingernails… sometimes. Feeling restricted is also common. Staying within their [[Chris's Room|comfort zones]] with [[lie|realistic]] behavior – oh, [[Chris_and_religion#Chris_the_Shaman|ritualistic]] behavior, and such. And with repetition in play, we may as well be walking around in circles… [[Chris and English|for infinity time]]! And [[Chris|some]] of us actually do.

Parents and guardians should be very watchful and cautious of any autistic symptoms [''camera pans to a picture of Chris with appropriately meaningless labels''], as they can be obvious by the age of three years old. I myself spoke first at six weeks with the word “monkey”, in an attempt at saying ''“mommy”'' [''said in a very toddler-like inflection'']. My vocabulary and speech grew great until I stopped talking at one-and-a-half years old, and I did not speak again until I when was seven. The other infant symptoms followed in suit.

|A controversy began when they blamed mercury in MMR vaccines. Though it was removed from all vaccines in early 2000, and yet the autism rate still grew over the decade.
''[Subtitles: The LBP 3D Layering glitch used throughout was found by Bakscratch and tools and [...] of the glitch was aided by TheAdipose, who also credits Compermc and Teebonesey.]]''

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1|First]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Kacey Call 11

2014-08-04T06:51:55Z

Ty Delle:

*[[Chris]] got an email saying [[Target]] was not going to hire him.
*Chris has [[Chris and Money|10 dollars in the bank]] but he's going to start saving!
*[[Kacey]] offers to coach Chris and help him save money.
*Talking about walking and working out.
*Chris volunteers to give Kacey a Q&A about [[autism]] for her Abnormal Psychology class. Kacey asks him for info right now about autism. Chris says that he'll only do it if the maximum is 500 words.
*Kacey asks if Chris ever uploaded essays from [[High School]] to [[CWCipedia]], he says he hasn't found them yet.
*[[Women's rights|Chris tries to push a relationship on her]], [[Friend zone|but she turns him down right away.]]
*Chris is going to take a yoga class. He heard about yoga from ''[[Wii]] Fit''.
*Chris says the last workout he had was standing on one leg for an ENTIRE ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' song!
*Chris is comparing ''Rock Band'' [[guitar]]s to ''Guitar Hero'' guitars. Kacey says she likes real guitars and likes it when guys write songs for her. Chris says he could play ''Guitar Hero'' for her, and he can write a song in ''Guitar Hero'' for her. Kacey isn't impressed and Chris doesn't understand the difference between the two.
*"I can be just as good in ''Guitar Hero'' as a real guitar."
*Chris walks around the mall for exercise. Five whole laps!
*Chris complains about the lack of male bras at J.C. Penny.
*[[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Chris didn't realize you can wash bras...]] [[Naïve|He believed you had to throw them away after three days of use.]]
*Kacey suggests for Chris to spray his bras with febreze. Kacey recommends lavender.
*Kacey says that she mixes her perfumes to smell better. Chris compares this to mixing food together at Country Cookin'.
*Chris says he was reading [[Playboy]] earlier and they had a ''[[Family Guy]]'' article.
*'''Chris complains that ''Family Guy'' was canceled originally because [[9/11]] distracted people from the show.'''
*Chris is upset to find out that Stewie is [[homos|gay]].
*Chris admits to reading ''Playgirl'' once.
*Kacey was uncomfortable with the subject, so they stopped talking about ''Playboy''/''Playgirl''.
*Kim convinced Chris to watch the news more often.
*Chris claims he is drawing more [[Sonichu]].
*Kacey says that she is excited for [[Vivian]]'s next audiobook. Chris gets stressed out.
*Kacey suggests to Chris to make his own audiobooks if he doesn't like Vivian's version.
*Chris talks about how he can't trust Vivian due to [[Clyde Cash]] being related. Chris complains about Clyde for a while, but then says that Clyde is dead now so it's okay. Chris says he is glad that Clyde is dead.
*Chris says that he never read [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian's book]], and he gave it to [[Rocky]] instead.
*Chris is looking for new jobs. He says he can make 980 dollars a month without losing the tugboat.
*Chris is trying to get a discount at the gym by talking to his doctor.
*'''Chris sent a letter to his doctor about his [[penis]]. Letter included asking about if his penis being bent was okay, how to straighten it out, and trying to get penis enlarging medication.'''
*Chris asks Kacey how big Liquid's penis is. Kacey starts laughing really hard, and then says that it's 9 inches, thick, and it would hurt sometimes. Chris is amazed and sounds depressed and talks about how small his penis is.
*Chris is upset that Kacey said that she enjoyed [[Liquid]]'s cock.
*Chris admits that he is taking penis enlargement medication, and [[Honest Content|starts describing his duck in detail]] to Kacey.
*Kacey says she has to go, unless Chris has any more questions about Liquid's cock. Chris says no, and the call ends.

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 11
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|VYsWEeXrxSk}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 10]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 12]]
}} </Center>

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris! It’s Kacey, how are ya? 
'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm good, how are you? 
'''Kacey:''' Ah-I'm good. You know, just really busy with school and work. 
'''Chris:''' ...yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' Y'know, gotta make that money! Gotta save it up-up. (''Sound glitch'') 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I will be saving up my self, y'know, after I get my- after I get one- after I get mah joooooooob, you know. Even though I, ah, received an e-mail from target saying they're not gonna hire me, because y'know, they got- they got enough people as it is right now. I'm sure they'll keep my, ah, file on record, until they find an opening. 
'''Kacey:''' Nolikeyeah, I think they do that, um, I think it's, uh, it's easier every 30 days or 3 months, it depends on the company. (''beat, Kacey continues at the same moment Chris tries to start'') So, speaking of money, are you doing OK, curbing your spending? 
'''Chris:''' (''grunt/sigh'') Yeah, I'm turning out ok. Yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' ...Uhm. I mean, you know, I'm really worried about that because, I mean, you know, wif what you've told me about how much you spend on videogames and everything, uhm, are you buying anything from the, you know, all that stuff right now, like any games, do you have any plans? 
'''Chris:''' Ahh, yeah, I have no plans right now, so I'm not expecting to buy anything at the... for.. for a while. I've got money- I got like about, ten- I've got like 'bout 10 bucks in the bank right now. I can always- I can- I can always deposit it. 
'''Kacey:''' Well, um, you know, I think I've been to harsh on you, so I want to help you, uhm, do you think, maybe, uhm, I can help coach you with these things, like, you know, like, maybe you could forward me, like, what you spend, like- we'd just start something small like the Play Station network, or something. Like, and I can coach you, I-I'm really sorry, I think I was too harsh on you. 
'''Chris:''' (''chirps happily'') Hmm. Okay, that sounds good. [''unintelligible''] Yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, awesome. Yeah, it's my way of an apology. 
'''Chris:''' It's okay, I mean, you don't have to apologize uh I mean you acted the way you did because you felt like you had to. 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah but [Chris talks over her] just forward me whatever purchases you make and um I will definitely help you. I'm happy you appreciate that. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah I'll [unintelligible] 
'''Kacey:''' Okay. 
'''Chris:''' Uh and my - I was doing a lot of walking today and lap - I did a lot of laps around the neighborhood. Instead of taking the easier counter-clockwise route around the uh 'hood I went clockwise and actually powerwalked the steep incline we have here. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh nice. How much is a lap for you. Is it like a mile or something? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I'm not sure what the distance is. I could probably measure it in my car. Uh of course I'm counting also going into the uh the little courtyard- the little courts y'know. It's like y'know the court. The into the. I'm actually going into those- 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' Courts. Up and down them. 
'''Kacey:''' Well did you run or jog the whole time cause remember you just gotta get that heartrate up. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. I powerwalked. Today I powerwalked but yesterday I did some jogging in there as well. 
'''Kacey:''' I think you should look up how to get your heart rate up and where your heart rate should be. Because you just can't walk and I'm not there to show you obviously because I've got so much going with school but um if you Google it that should be awesome. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. Well let me ask you though. I thought of this question earlier. Uh yeah you're studying to be a nurse. Do you have to take any psychological type classes like y'know like any classes like a psychiatrist would have to take? 
'''Kacey:''' Oh of course. Um I'm actually in um 2nd Level Human Growth and Development this semester. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. 
'''Kacey:''' I mean a lot of it overlaps I mean I'll be taking Abnormal Psyche next semester. 
'''Chris:''' A normal... psyche class? 
'''Kacey:''' Abnormal? Like not normal. Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Oh abnormal. Okay. Yeah well I have- I'll tell you what if you get to the part where they talk about Autism I could give you some- some information on that and probably help you with any essays you have to write or whatever. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh yeah. That would be interesting. Y'know get a little perspective maybe I'll get some extra credit. 
'''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah you know I mean it's too bad we couldn't plan the uh trips of you coming over here with your hanging out y'know between Labor Day weekend. 
'''Kacey:''' I know, I know. 
'''Chris:''' I mean- 
'''Kacey:''' I had to work all day so I mean but hey- making that money. But back to what you said about helping me with class. You can start whenever because even though I'm taking it next semsester that way I'll be prepared I mean. Why don't you describe Autism to me? You know give me a feel for it. 
'''Chris:''' Alright. I'll have to give it some thought but I'll have - write you a uh minimum 100 maximum 500 word essay about it. 
 '''Chris:''' ...That
 '''Kacey:''' Okay cool
 '''Chris:''' Of course you definitely can with a multi-pack, you know,3 packs for like 10 dollars. Least there-least there still-one o- still one over here still sells them for that price, 3 for 10
 '''Kacey:''' Oh I mean, uh, wash them
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' You don't have to buy tons of them, you could just wash them. Like, I mean, unless you're doing it for style there's no reason to have a lot of them
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I currently have-I currently have 6, but I understand from my mom that I could wear uh, bra 3 underwear-a bra or underwear for 3 days, then switch over to the new ones
 '''Kacey:''' Well um also, with those things I know you've never used them before but you need to, you know, let them air out every night and um you know, um, I at [Chris: y-yeah] least rinse mine with you know a little bit of spray cleanser. You know maybe some febreeze, maybe, anything. But I mean I also wear perfume and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Okay so wait a minute, uh, spray what with febreeze?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, use some febreeze. That would work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah so wait a minute, you're talking about spraying the bra with febreeze?
 '''Kacey:''' Of course, you don't put that on your skin
 '''Chris:''' [laugh] Okay I just wanted to make sure I understood...mmkay febreeze. Yeah okay well I'm not sure we have any febreeze in the bathroom, but you know next chance I get I will definitely get some febreeze.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cool. Awesome. Like they have different scents now that smell really good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, what do you recommend, personally?
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] I like the lavender one, I love that one the most. It's one of the purple ones. There's a spring one and then there's a lavender one.
 '''Chris:''' I like lavender scent.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh cool.
 '''Chris:''' I have smelled lavender before and it does smell good.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' 'kay...that's good. 't's very good. We've found some common ground there, we both like lavender
 '''Kacey:''' [little laugh] It's not my favorite but it is one of them
 '''Chris:''' mmkay, one of them. Okay what is your top favorite scent?
 '''Kacey:''' Um...Probably...Either like a sandalwood amber thing, or vanilla.
 '''Chris:''' Vanilla is-vanilla is good. What's the other one you said, sandal with amber?
 '''Kacey:''' Sandalwood with amber.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. An-An. I'm sorry, andalwood?
 '''Kacey:''' Sandalwood.
 '''Chris:''' Oh okay
 '''Kacey:''' You know like sandals you wear on your feet? Yeah
 '''Chris:''' Ohhh, sandalwood, yeah okay. Sandalwood with amber. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I actually, um I have lots of different perfumes and I mix them and I layer them, but I make sure their scents all correspond.
 '''Chris:''' Wow you uh, you mix your own perfumes. [little laugh]
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' That's pretty-that's-that's very good, I mean uh...
 '''Kacey:''' That way when one wears off I've got another thing, it's really nice. But I mean men don't wear perfume, they wear like cologne and body spray and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah...(???)-mix things up I often like to uh mix things up-I often like to, uh, mix things up, like, you know, if I'm at my country club ??? golden corral, I-I sometimes like to mix things and, you know, mix food togeth-mix different foods-like y'know like a different combination of vegtables.Ok- Or, y'know, aside from a side but I mean like you know, maybe green beans, and corn, and cook-cooked carrots, whatever. Whatever they have there. Or you know, here's a fun-Here's a fun thing you could try: Mixing any-mixing-mixing any cooked vegtables in mashed potatoes.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I don't really like to mix my food. I'm just like that. I don't like cooked carrots either I think they're gross. I mean but I mean it's not the same as mixing.???-but I see what you're getting from. Like, um, I-I know people who do that all the time, but you know, I like to eat all my stuff individually. Unless it DOES go together.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear ya, that's good. Mmm. Mmkay. Okay, Well you know, just wanted to let you know, I was just reading an article about Seth MacFarlane, in, uh, this month's Playboy. You know, just talking about, uh, Fam- Just talking about Family Guy you know. You know ??? about-about ten years ago since it first aired just after Superbowl 33? And Seth MacFarlane just calls that ga-ns calls that-call that game boring.
 '''Kacey:''' [Sounds bored] Oh, really.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. He just calls the game boring, but, you know, and then it just-[mutters, as though reading off notecards]ah shoot, I mean, whaddya say about f-Family Guy and um...yeah I haven't s-well maybe I was just ??? but yeah [stops muttering] Yeah, he was prepped on the show-on the show was gonna be huge, and then...and then apparently had gotten huge numbers are

 '''Kacey:''' Well, when you finish a comic, I can't wait for the audiobook version, I think they're funny.
 '''Chris:''' ...You mean Vivian's audiobooks?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! I love those, I'm so glad you showed them to me.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Stress pause]'' Yeah, I never authorized those audiobooks.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think she did a great job. I think you should thank her, I mean, they're AWESOME.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' And it's like free publicity.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah... Ahhh, but still, so many things she's done against me.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what? I mean, I didn't see anything bad.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well how about that folder of her art I sent ya... The, uh, few comic pages where she mocked about me and my sw- My early days in my Sweetheart Search, like you know... You know, it's-
 '''Kacey:''' It's a parody, if you're gonna be famous you're gonna get parodies. I think it's great to go ahead and get them out of the way.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, still you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Just because somebody does a parody, doesn't mean that they hate you or anything, it's just, you know, it's publicity, come on. You've got to laugh at these things or else you're never gonna make it.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Okay-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's flattering. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Okay but you know I'm talking about the, uh, ones where she's got the Misdreavus in there with her. The Pokemon-
 '''Kacey:''' Still. You should just go with it, and be like "thank you for the free publicity". This is your show, so run it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, "this is my show so want it"?
 '''Kacey:''' So RUN it. Run it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, it opens it up to more people. I mean if you don't want her to do it, you should make your own audiobooks. You should narrate them yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. I thought about that, but it's like you know... I'd ra- I'd rather actually have a- My- A woman to read the, uh, Rosechu parts. But unfortunately I don't have a-
 '''Kacey:''' I'd be happy to help. I can give you recordings.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Silence]''
 '''Kacey:''' But you know I'm really busy so I probably wouldn't be able to for a long, long time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Okay, well I appreciate the offer. And I'll think about dat furder. But I think- But I was hoping, like you know, I could actually let my sweetheart do it, but like, unfortunately I just been having... the, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh then I think you should wait, that's a good idea.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, it's... Still so much- Still a lot for me- Still a lot of things for me to think. Umm... Yeah, but also, uh, cuz also, I think I have informed you about Vivian Gee being Clyde Cash's cousin.
 '''Kacey:''' But that doesn't mean anything.
 '''Chris:''' Clyde Cash was a major troll.
 '''Kacey:''' But, that doesn't mean SHE is.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Okay. But still you know, Clyde Cash, he was also the one- He was also the first guy that actually got into my- That actually hacked into my original hosting account on Tripod. And then the following one on-
 '''Kacey:''' How did he do it?
 '''Chris:''' He tried to... to turn the- turn the website around and make it look- make it look like- make it mock ME. He-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean how did he figure out your passwords and logins and stuff, did he hack it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' How did he hack it?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed]'' I don't know how he hacked it.
 '''Kacey:''' Did you use an easy-to-guess password?
 '''Chris:''' No, I did not use an easy password. I don't even remember what the password was, now.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but anyways, then I- then I tried to like- then I tried using [[Yahoo!]]... I think it was. Or maybe it was something else I don't know, but anyway then he got in- But then he hacked into that as well, even on Godaddy- Even on my last attempt at- Even on the last attempt at on Godaddy dot com being the web host, he got into that as well. And then I-
 '''Kacey:''' Wow, he sounds very talented!
 '''Chris:''' Ugh... But anyway, you know, I- Anyway, after I got my Godaddy account back I just basically pulled the plug on the- Pulled the plug on the whole Sonichu site thing. And then supposedly he ki- And then, supposedly he killed himself. So I just assumed-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...
 '''Chris:''' I just assumed that he's been dead for da few months. I think I sent you Vivian's ad- I think I sent you Vivian's address, if you wanna talk to her and verify.
 '''Kacey:''' That's... That's, um... I don't know what to say about that.
 '''Chris:''' Well you know, you could think- You know, no rush, you could think about dat furder. Um... Shoot, what was I gonna say- Oh yeah, yeah I just assumed that- I just, uh, assumed that he's been dead the whole time and GLAD that he's been dead.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh...
 '''Chris:''' Even Vivian- Even- Even Vivian agreed about- Even agreed on him being dead.
 '''Kacey:''' Then I guess he is, or... I don't know.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a really bad topic.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It was a bad topic. But you know, I mean like you know, I had to recall cuz you know...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's so sad when someone kills themselves.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it was just- It was just to verify the whole troll- The trolling situation there. From him, and... You know and also like you know, Vivian did write a book and she sent me a copy of it. I think it was called "Da Girl who Ruled Da World". Uhhh, don't tell Vivian, but I never actually read the book. Even though I told- Even though I told her- Even though I lied to her and told her that I read it.
 '''Kacey:''' You shouldn't lie, that's horrible! What if it's a really good book, I mean didn't we talking about this before? Why would you do that?
 '''Chris:''' Hm... It was like, uh, tryin'... I was like, I dunno. I don't remember. It was in the conversation, we were just talkin', and then you know... Yeah, I just- I just did not feel comfortable with saying like, you know, "Oh, I haven't read it", and den she would be encouraging me to read it, but anyway, then anyway- Uh, currently the uh, book is on loan to Rocky, she hasn't given it back to me yet, and she's just had an appendix operation. She's read, uh, she's read, uh, a whole chunk of da book, and it's mostly mockery- mockery against me anyway. Mockery against me and my Sonichu characters.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, like I said, it's probably just free publicity. So, I think I mentioned before I wanted to read it, but you should read it first. You have to read it before you judge it, I'm pretty sure we talked about this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah we're talkin' about- We're talkin' about Vivian's book, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah after I get it back from Rocky I'll be sure to read it.
 '''Kacey:''' You should probably get it back very soon.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. M'kay. Alright, so... Yeah, you did not have any classes today, so you just had work?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. I worked and studied.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, that's good, did you have a good- You had a good day, I guess?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it was work, you know, so... I just worked.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Puttin' a little more bread on your own table for yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm.
 '''Chris:''' Very commendable.
 '''Kacey:''' So uh, how's your job search going besides, uh... besides Target?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got another application to uh, go back online and fill in. But... But yeah, you know, at least I'm making- But yeah, you know, I'm making progress. Eventually, I'll get- Eventually... You know, I'll get da message saying like you know, "Yeah you're hired, come in for the in- or, come in for the interview".
 '''Kacey:''' Hm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, call in and ask.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' You know, make sure they got the application.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's a good idea, okay. Yeah. Alright I will do that, I will make calls and find out for certain.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you know, show them you're interested.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Especially- Especially since I know well- I know very well that I can make 980 dollars a month without it affecting my Social.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you're pretty lucky.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Oh by the way, uh... Yeah I'll let you know- I'll probably let you- I'll probably let you know about this- I wrote up my list of questions to, uh, my Doctor McGovern... Uh, you know, things that uh, you and me and Kim, we talked about a little bit. Um, I wrote 'em out in a letter but unfortunately I was gonna deliver it today, but the office was closed for Labor Day, so...
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, considering my next- Considering my next trip downtown would be Wednesday for the yoga session, I'll drop it off on Wednesday.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh cool, are you gonna send me the questions?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, sure, I'll get- I dunno, would you like me to?
 '''Kacey:''' Um... Sure, why not?
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Kacey:''' I just thought that was why you mentioned it.
 '''Chris:''' Well, no, I mean- I just- I'm just bringin' it up as like, you know, just... You know, just lettin' you know that I'm gonna be inquiring about all that with- with my doctor, sure. Anyway let me- Anyway, I- Anyway... Anyway, basically currently it's five questions, uh... First one is about the, uh, gym membership discount.
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm...
 '''Chris:''' And then the second one's a question about, uh, whether I should get back on the Paroxetine or not. But I mean, I don't- I mean, I think I've been okay with- Off- Off it, you know. I feel like I've been better, but it's like, uhh... I felt more- I feel a little bit more vulnerable to stress, but with uh, practicing the stress ma- More- With more practicing the uh, stress management techniques, I feel like I'm about starting to regain emotional control over dat.
 '''Kacey:''' So that was your anti-depressant?
 '''Chris:''' The, uh, Paxil originally, but then I switched over to Paroxetine... Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well I mean, are you not taking it anymore, 'cause I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I have not been taking it for a month.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean if you're so stressed all the time then maybe you should. I mean, that should be up to your doctor, you should ask him that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright... And then I asked- And then I asked him further about the uh, Lipitor... You know... Uh... I don't remember da question, I've already sealed the envelope. And it was just- It was just- And I have it on my- I have it- I have it on my bed in front of me, and... Hm. I guess I could- I guess I- I guess I can rip it open and send you the questions, anyway. But I'm just lettin' you know in a nutshell.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' And then like you know- And then the fourth and fifth questions are about my, uh, penis. Number four being about like you know, whether it should be level, or- or- Or, you know, if bent is normal. Or if like you know, if there's a way of straightening it- Of leveling it out. And then the second question is about like you know, getting a prescription to a penis extension medication pill... That sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Awkward pause]'' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. ''[Another awkward pause, as Chris prepares to ask what he's always wanted to ask]'' Ahh... Okay, I'll just go ahead and get it out of the way - How BIG was Chris's penis?
 '''Kacey:''' WHAT??!? What??
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I just- I asked you- I just asked you, how big was Chris's penis?
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Laughing]'' That's a really odd question for you to ask me... Um, but I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you, It was definitely, um, a little around nine inches.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, now I- Okay, shh... I mean, REALLY? Nine inches??
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah... You know, sometimes it hurt, but you know, it was good, and it was thick.
 '''Chris:''' Shoot, mine only gets, like, six to seven inches...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Laughing]'' I'm sorry, it's just a weird question...
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I just felt like I had to know.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... Okay... Why do you need to know? I mean, I thought you weren't interested in other people's penises, but just tell me, why'd you need to know?
 '''Chris:''' I mean like, who was the, uh... Supposed- In that sense, who was the bigger man, there.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I guess he won that. But I just- I don't- Okay... I mean, it was just nine, thick, and straight. It was there...
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well like, you know, while I'm feeling discomfort in that...
 '''Kacey:''' You're the one who asked about how he rocked my world with it!
 '''Chris:''' Well I did not- I did not necessarily ask how he rocked your world with it, I was just asking how big it was.
 '''Kacey:''' I- Well, I mean, come on... I mean you opened that up.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but it's like you know... Alright I just pretty much established this with Kim, but... I definitely have an insecurity... And- And that's one of my insecurities, like you know, in comparison to other guys... Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So you don't like other people's penises, but you want to hear about them so you can compare yourself to them?
 '''Chris:''' No I-
 '''Kacey:''' I don't do that with, like, women's breasts.
 '''Chris:''' No actually this is the first time I've asked that question, but it's like you know I just felt like I had to know.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, well, I mean, why?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, cuz it's like, you know, I'm def- It just makes me think that like, you know- I have been con- I have been on and off and on about like, you know, increasing the size of mine... But I- And then, it's just like you know, I wasn't sure if the, uh, till- It- I- I mean... For about two separate months, I had been, uh, had taken Extenze. But yeah I just hadn't- I just hadn't seen a big difference. Except for like, you know, just aft- Just after taking it, it definitely showed a maximum of seven inches. Erect. Oh by the way I- By the way, actually measuring it, it's like four inches limp.
 '''Kacey:''' ...Okay. I don't know... Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I just thought the only way to make a big difference is to actually get surgery, but...
 '''Chris:''' I mean haven't you- I mean haven't you seen the, uh- I mean surely- Surely you've heard of the penis extension pills.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I thought they weren't supposed to work. I mean, most of them aren't even approved by the FDA and stuff. But I mean, they also say that losing weight helps, they say uh... Every 20 or 30 pounds of fat that you take away, an inch comes back. I don't know if that's true or not, that's probably a rumor.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it does sound like a rumor.
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, no harm in trying, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... At least I'm starting a daily regimen of exercising. And I'm taking the appropriate steps and I'm losing my Buddha Belly...
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, I'd just hate to end our conversation- End our conversation on such a note, cuz you know, my mind's running- My mind's running blank right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well um... I'll go ahead and talk to you, I guess, tomorrow. Unless you wanna ask any more questions about Chris's penis, I guess. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' I'm not gonna ask any more questions that. ''[Laughs]'' Okay. Alright, well I- Okay, well yeah, good laugh, good laugh, that's a way to end a good- end a conversation well. Okay. Alright well, I'll let you go and I'll talk to you tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, alright, bye.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah alright, bye-bye.


==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 10]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 12]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2014-08-02T22:48:34Z

Ty Delle: /* Video */

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be [[Chris and Reality|closer to real life]], though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates [[Lie|liars]]. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her [[Obesity|fat]]. She points out that [[Women's rights|her face isn't under her shirt]] when Chris claims to have been looking at her face.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the [[Jerkops|police]] with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is autistic. [[Death threats|Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot.]] When it is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]], Solid is enraged by the idea. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being worried about being [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] instead of paying attention to what she is saying.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad gave Liquid his blessing, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about [[Honest Content|truth and honesty]]. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid asserts that he will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey & Liquid Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Ep6VulN-QdM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]; [[Liquid]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Father Call]]
| next = [[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' [[Kim]] and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad... That creeped my dad out! And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him! What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if you pissed me off... if I pissed you off! Come on!
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you [[lie]]? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm [[Honest Content|honest]]. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a "little lie". You lie all the time! That's pathetic!
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance! First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me! I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat, and on the other hand, you're like staring at me the whole time!
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face... I stare at your face. 
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==

 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And mbr>y name is Christian, and I'll thank you to call me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! I have been [[Honest Content|honest]] and [[Lie|true]]! [''Chris begins breaking down in tears'']
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taken Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the ''real'' Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— [[Kacey Call 1|He's been a]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|liar the whole time,]] [[Kacey Call 2|you know it...]]
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! You're 27, why do you br>font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. A/font>
re you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barb called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barb and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' No, Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barb that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/?08ro202hlz9pzlk the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5LnjUqby4 the call on YouTube]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2014-08-02T22:46:19Z

Ty Delle: /* Video */

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be [[Chris and Reality|closer to real life]], though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates [[Lie|liars]]. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her [[Obesity|fat]]. She points out that [[Women's rights|her face isn't under her shirt]] when Chris claims to have been looking at her face.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the [[Jerkops|police]] with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is autistic. [[Death threats|Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot.]] When it is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]], Solid is enraged by the idea. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being worried about being [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] instead of paying attention to what she is saying.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad gave Liquid his blessing, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about [[Honest Content|truth and honesty]]. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid asserts that he will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey & Liquid Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Ep6VulN-QdM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]; [[Liquid]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Father Call]]
| next = [[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' [[Kim]] and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad... That creeped my dad out! And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him! What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if you pissed me off... if I pissed you off! Come on!
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you [[lie]]? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm [[Honest Content|honest]]. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a "little lie". You lie all the time! That's pathetic!
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance! First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me! I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat, and on the other hand, you're like staring at me the whole time!
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face... I stare at your face. 
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==

 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And mbr>y name is Christian, and I'll thank you to call me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! I have been [[Honest Content|honest]] and [[Lie|true]]! [''Chris begins breaking down in tears'']
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taken Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the ''real'' Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— [[Kacey Call 1|He's been a]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|liar the whole time,]] [[Kacey Call 2|you know it...]]
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! You're 27, why do you br>font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. A/font>
re you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barb called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barb and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' No, Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barb that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/?08ro202hlz9pzlk the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5LnjUqby4 the call on YouTube]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2014-08-02T22:45:45Z

Ty Delle:

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be [[Chris and Reality|closer to real life]], though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates [[Lie|liars]]. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her [[Obesity|fat]]. She points out that [[Women's rights|her face isn't under her shirt]] when Chris claims to have been looking at her face.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the [[Jerkops|police]] with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is autistic. [[Death threats|Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot.]] When it is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]], Solid is enraged by the idea. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being worried about being [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] instead of paying attention to what she is saying.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad gave Liquid his blessing, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about [[Honest Content|truth and honesty]]. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid asserts that he will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey & Liquid Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Ep6VulN-QdM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]; [[Liquid]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Father Call]]
| next = [[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' [[Kim]] and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad... That creeped my dad out! And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him! What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if you pissed me off... if I pissed you off! Come on!
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you [[lie]]? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm [[Honest Content|honest]]. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a "little lie". You lie all the time! That's pathetic!
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance! First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me! I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat, and on the other hand, you're like staring at me the whole time!
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face... I stare at your face. 
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
br>/font>

 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And mbr>y name is Christian, and I'll thank you to call me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! I have been [[Honest Content|honest]] and [[Lie|true]]! [''Chris begins breaking down in tears'']
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taken Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the ''real'' Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— [[Kacey Call 1|He's been a]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|liar the whole time,]] [[Kacey Call 2|you know it...]]
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! You're 27, why do you br>font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. A/font>
re you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barb called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barb and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' No, Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barb that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/?08ro202hlz9pzlk the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5LnjUqby4 the call on YouTube]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2014-08-02T22:34:53Z

Ty Delle:

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be [[Chris and Reality|closer to real life]], though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates [[Lie|liars]]. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her [[Obesity|fat]]. She points out that [[Women's rights|her face isn't under her shirt]] when Chris claims to have been looking at her face.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the [[Jerkops|police]] with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is autistic. [[Death threats|Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot.]] When it is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]], Solid is enraged by the idea. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being worried about being [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] instead of paying attention to what she is saying.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad gave Liquid his blessing, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about [[Honest Content|truth and honesty]]. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid asserts that he will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey & Liquid Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Ep6VulN-QdM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]; [[Liquid]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Father Call]]
| next = [[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' [[Kim]] and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad... That creeped my dad out! And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him! What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if you pissed me off... if I pissed you off! Come on!
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you [[lie]]? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm [[Honest Content|honest]]. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie all the time! That's pathetic!
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time ly, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
br>/font>
you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And mbr>y name is Christian, and I'll thank you to call me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! I have been [[Honest Content|honest]] and [[Lie|true]]! [''Chris begins breaking down in tears'']
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taken Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the ''real'' Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— [[Kacey Call 1|He's been a]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|liar the whole time,]] [[Kacey Call 2|you know it...]]
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! You're 27, why do you br>font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. A/font>
re you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barb called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barb and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' No, Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barb that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/?08ro202hlz9pzlk the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5LnjUqby4 the call on YouTube]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2014-07-29T19:05:31Z

Ty Delle:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 4''', [[Chris]] uses his ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' soapbox to rail at society at large for ignoring him, not letting him do whatever ''he'' wants, and shunning him for being creepy.

Chris starts off by describing [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|epV54L7JWUA}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)''

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [[wikipedia:Thomas Jefferson|Mr. Thomas Jefferson]], [[wikipedia:James Monroe|Mr. James Monroe]], and [[wikipedia:James Madison|Mr. James Madison]]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Center, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything. I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

[[File:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|thumb|right|Chris being a good friend.]]
Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. [[Kacey Call 1|I would only]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|lie to protect]] [[Kacey Call 2|the other person's]] [[Kacey Call 3|feelings out of care]] [[Father Call|and respect]]. [[Chris|I]] [[Ego|AM]] [[Racism|NOT]] [[Women's Rights|A]] [[Death Threats|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Tomgirl|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. [[Mailbag|Snobbish, snooty...]] to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have one friend who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

''(The sackpeople [[The Creepy Stare|stare at each other like retards]] for the remaining few seconds of video)''

[''Subtitles:'']
[''Hey, Chris.'']
[''Hey, Mic.'']
[''I have friends to introduce you to. Follow me to El Kono.'']
[''Really?! That Is Awesome. Let's go.'']

== Fan video ==

{{Template:Deletedvideo}}
<center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = cwc lie detector
| video = {{#ev:youtube|INOdnCJjnA4}}
| Stardate = 19 March 2011
| Maker = NeverOnHexBox
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2014-07-29T19:03:40Z

Ty Delle:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 4''', [[Chris]] uses his ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' soapbox to rail at society at large for ignoring him, not letting him do whatever ''he'' wants, and shunning him for being creepy.

Chris starts off by describing [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|epV54L7JWUA}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)''

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [[wikipedia:Thomas Jefferson|Mr. Thomas Jefferson]], [[wikipedia:James Monroe|Mr. James Monroe]], and [[wikipedia:James Madison|Mr. James Madison]]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Center, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything. I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

[[File:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|thumb|right|Chris being a good friend.]]
Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. [[Kacey Call 1|I would only]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|lie to protect]] [[Kacey Call 2|the other person's]] [[Kacey Call 3|feelings out of care]] [[Father Call|and respect]]. [[Chris|I]] [[Ego|AM]] [[Racism|NOT]] [[Women's Rights|A]] [[Death Threats|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Tomgirl|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. [[Mailbag|Snobbish, snooty...]] to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have one friend who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

''(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)''

[''Subtitles:'']
[''Hey, Chris.'']
[''Hey, Mic.'']
[''I have friends to introduce you to. Follow me to El Kono.'']
[''Really?! That Is Awesome. Let's go.'']

== Fan video ==

{{Template:Deletedvideo}}
<center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = cwc lie detector
| video = {{#ev:youtube|INOdnCJjnA4}}
| Stardate = 19 March 2011
| Maker = NeverOnHexBox
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2014-07-29T19:02:58Z

Ty Delle:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 4''', [[Chris]] uses his ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' soapbox to rail at society at large for ignoring him, not letting him do whatever ''he'' wants, and shunning him for being creepy.

Chris starts off by describing [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|epV54L7JWUA}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)''

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [[wikipedia:Thomas Jefferson|Mr. Thomas Jefferson]], [[wikipedia:James Monroe|Mr. James Monroe]], and [[wikipedia:James Madison|Mr. James Madison]]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Center, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything. I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

[[File:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|thumb|right|Chris being a good friend.]]
Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. [[Kacey Call 1|I would only lie to protect]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|only lie to protect]] [[Kacey Call 2|the other person's]] [[Kacey Call 3|feelings out of care]] [[Father Call|and respect]]. [[Chris|I]] [[Ego|AM]] [[Racism|NOT]] [[Women's Rights|A]] [[Death Threats|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Tomgirl|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. [[Mailbag|Snobbish, snooty...]] to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have one friend who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

''(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)''

[''Subtitles:'']
[''Hey, Chris.'']
[''Hey, Mic.'']
[''I have friends to introduce you to. Follow me to El Kono.'']
[''Really?! That Is Awesome. Let's go.'']

== Fan video ==

{{Template:Deletedvideo}}
<center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = cwc lie detector
| video = {{#ev:youtube|INOdnCJjnA4}}
| Stardate = 19 March 2011
| Maker = NeverOnHexBox
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

Autism Tutorial Part 4

2014-07-29T19:02:46Z

Ty Delle:

In '''Autism Tutorial Part 4''', [[Chris]] uses his ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' soapbox to rail at society at large for ignoring him, not letting him do whatever ''he'' wants, and shunning him for being creepy.

Chris starts off by describing [[Charlottesville]], and how it should be what he wants to replace the [[internet]]: "a social hotspring." However, Chris being Chris, he doesn't seem to understand why people avoid him in public, and blames some moral deficiency present in everyone else. Chris tries to demonstrate how [[Attraction Sign|socializing]] with him should work (SPOILER: everyone else does the work). He again demands respect, in what must be another ineffectual attempt to restore his reputation.

==Video==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|epV54L7JWUA}}</Center>

===Transcript===

''(Chris's voice is trembling with obvious [[stress]] throughout the entirety of the presentation)''

Only about ten miles south of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], is ''[[Charlottesville]]'' Virginia, historic home town of [[wikipedia:Thomas Jefferson|Mr. Thomas Jefferson]], [[wikipedia:James Monroe|Mr. James Monroe]], and [[wikipedia:James Madison|Mr. James Madison]]. Lewis and Clark also started their famous expedition from this area.

The expensive [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] of downtown Charlottesville houses a number of [[The GAMe PLACe|small businesses]], as well as the show-stopping pavilion tent and the Paramount Theatre. This, as well as the Fashion Square Shopping Center, should ''both'' be social watering holes, but for me, sadly, ''they are not.''

Anywhere herein, even including the bars and events like [[Fridays After Five]], nobody will even look or say hello to me. And of course the internet reputation I have against me... sadly thanks to those gross people that have taken my information... and... ''s-s-strew it around'' in their misconceptions of weirdness, twisting everything. I've already gotten into how bad that has half-fected me and how emotionally scarred I have a been. Back to social life, the [[autism]] increases my shyness, so I ''hardly'' have even the basic instinct to just say "hello" to anyone, or even open up so easily with trust. I need other people to come up and talk to me fir- (Abrupt jump-cut)

[[File:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|thumb|right|Chris being a good friend.]]
Allow me to make it perfectly clear about who I am so I am not misunderstood erroneously with the internet that's against me: My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], high-functioning autistic [[Chris and art|artist]]. I am [[Chris and anger|kind]], [[Chris and remorse|caring]], [[Chris and death|empathetic]], [[Stress|emotional]], a [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|good friend]], a ''loyal'' friend, cautious and weary, ''trustworthy''. Mostly [[Honest Content|honest]]. I do not like to [[Lies|lie]]. [[Kacey Call 1|I would only lie to protect]] [[[[Kacey Call 1.5|only lie to protect]] [[Kacey Call 2|the other person's]] [[Kacey Call 3|feelings out of care]] [[Father Call|and respect]]. [[Chris|I]] [[Ego|AM]] [[Racism|NOT]] [[Women's Rights|A]] [[Death Threats|MONSTER]]! I am a caring, emotional, feeling, [[Tomgirl|heterosexual]] human being! And [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I should be treated equally]], and respected as SUCH!

([[stress]]-[[sigh]]) Sadly back here in real life, everyone is in their ''[[CWCville|own dang world]]''. [[Mailbag|Snobbish, snooty...]] to even give care to ''one person'' who only has [[Trolls|few friends]] within the city, uh- that is Mr. Jefferson's hometown. Not even as much acquaintances, I feel invisible in public, and it's very sad to me. (stress-sigh) At least I do have one friend who cares about me around here. Unfortunately she refuses to go beyond [[Friend Zone|just friends]], but I care about her just the same anyway, because that is the kind of guy I am.

''(The sackpeople stare at each other like retards for the remaining few seconds of video)''

[''Subtitles:'']
[''Hey, Chris.'']
[''Hey, Mic.'']
[''I have friends to introduce you to. Follow me to El Kono.'']
[''Really?! That Is Awesome. Let's go.'']

== Fan video ==

{{Template:Deletedvideo}}
<center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = cwc lie detector
| video = {{#ev:youtube|INOdnCJjnA4}}
| Stardate = 19 March 2011
| Maker = NeverOnHexBox
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]|}}

[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]

ECV 00001

2014-07-28T22:01:49Z

Ty Delle: /* Video */

'''ECV 00001''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]], in which he paraphrases [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia article]] about the [[Cherokee]] while dressed as what he thinks they looked like.

Throughout the video, he holds a [[PlayStation]] [[Move]] controller and a matching "Navigation Controller". Chris has also returned to using his old [[PSEye]] to record this video, which causes a number of skips to occur throughout the video. As is evident in the video title, the EyeCreate video counter has been reset to 1, due to his [[PS3#The Rebirth|new PS3]].

Of note is how Chris is careful to elaborate how peaceful the Cherokee clan was, specifically how [[Prickly-Wicklies|war is bad]], yet he pulls a 180 near the end by stating how fierce they were and that the [[Death threats|trolls should beware]]. Chris, always sensitive to the plight of minorities, speaks in a stereotypical "kemosabe"-style Indian voice until he starts talking about black people at which point he starts speaking in a hip, urban manner in order to show that he is [[Retarded|"down"]].

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00001
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6ok9BWE4UIU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = | shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[100 2270]]
| next = [[A Hike]]
}}

{{quote|We were very peaceful, I tell ya what.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:TRUE and ORIGINAL Cherokian Man.png|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
''[Chris is wearing his [[muscle bra]] with construction paper accents to give his impression of a very, very [[homos|fierce]] Cherokee warrior. He has his arms crossed over his chest with a PlayStation Move controller in each hand.]''

Me noble Cherokee man. I come to you with a brief bit of introduction to our Cherokee clan. We were a peaceful lace...peaceful race, most of our history is encrypted within [[Spanish]] history. Some of it was previously, uh, translated, was translated, as can— found on the [[Wikipedia]] under the term "Cherokee": C-H-E-R-O-K-E-E. ''[Ed: The E is barely there because of one of the skips.]''

We were very peaceful, [[wikipedia:King of the Hill|I tell ya what.]] We were so peaceful, that we found war activities to be a polluting activity. And we had and a whole and before it was revoked, we had purity sessions of which our priests of our clans purified the warriors that went out into battle before they come into to the village and resume life there. And we were even bartered as [[Rosechu|slut]]— bartered off as [[Basement Rosechus|slaves]] to the [[Virginia]] and north and northward.

And we had a whole bunch of medishin [[Tobacky|medicianal supstances]] that were created within our times by our [[Chris and Religion#Chris the Shaman|witch doctors]], which I happen to have a witch doctor. His name is on my thing there, but [[Honor roll|I forgot memorize it]]. Which he comes from the Chandler Clan on my [[Bob Chandler|father's]] side. It was a good union, though, between my father meeting my mother, for she comes from the [[Daniel Weston|English clan]], but we were here in America first and we had our own tortures. And through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations, we ended up walking the Trail of Tears.

Which, beyond which, as we walked the trail, some of us wandered off the trail to be hidden from those that have considered us slaves. Unfortunately, thanks to our right— thanks to our guys, slavery has abolished altogether, including— including the [[Niggos|black slaves]]. Though I not say that, it was of an consasensus...

''[Chris suddenly changes from offensive Indian imitation to offensive urban patois.]''

Hey, we're with you on this one, dude, we're with you on this one, dudes. I mean, we were slaves as well back in the day. But we've managed to collect ourselves, and there only a few of us left within this [[America]] and mostly there are only partial regions with us, but there are organizations of us Cherokees within states like Oklahoma and Tennessee. More information on this, as well as our history, on the Wikipedia. Also, we did go off out in battle after that practice was abolished. Of which we have purified our warriors before they could return to our village. We were fierce, though. We were very, very fierce.

But anyway, with that, don't mess with us. For we will [[CWC is Angry|shoot you]] [[Gun Comic|down]]. Pew! ''[Pantomimes shooting a bow and arrow.]''

==See also==
* [[War Paint Video]]
* [[Cherokian Clan]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2270]]|nextlink=[[A Hike]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-09]]

ECV 00001

2014-07-28T22:01:05Z

Ty Delle: /* Video */

'''ECV 00001''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]], in which he paraphrases [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia article]] about the [[Cherokee]] while dressed as what he thinks they looked like.

Throughout the video, he holds a [[PlayStation]] [[Move]] controller and a matching "Navigation Controller". Chris has also returned to using his old [[PSEye]] to record this video, which causes a number of skips to occur throughout the video. As is evident in the video title, the EyeCreate video counter has been reset to 1, due to his [[PS3#The Rebirth|new PS3]].

Of note is how Chris is careful to elaborate how peaceful the Cherokee clan was, specifically how [[Prickly-Wicklies|war is bad]], yet he pulls a 180 near the end by stating how fierce they were and that the [[Death threats|trolls should beware]]. Chris, always sensitive to the plight of minorities, speaks in a stereotypical "kemosabe"-style Indian voice until he starts talking about black people at which point he starts speaking in a hip, urban manner in order to show that he is [[Retarded|"down"]].

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00001
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6ok9BWE4UIU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = | shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[100 2270]]
| next = [[A Hike]]
}}

{{quote|We were very peaceful, I tell ya what.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:TRUE and ORIGINAL Cherokian Man.png|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
''[Chris is wearing his [[muscle bra]] with construction paper accents to give his impression of a very, very [[homos|fierce]] Cherokee warrior. He has his arms crossed over his chest with a PlayStation Move controller in each hand.]''

Me noble Cherokee man. I come to you with a brief bit of introduction to our Cherokee clan. We were a peaceful lace...peaceful race, most of our history is encrypted within [[Spanish]] history. Some of it was previously, uh, translated, was translated, as can— found on the [[Wikipedia]] under the term "Cherokee": C-H-E-R-O-K-E-E. ''[Ed: The E is barely there because of one of the skips.]''

We were very peaceful, [[wikipedia:King of the Hill|I tell ya what.]] We were so peaceful, that we found war activities to be a polluting activity. And we had and a whole and before it was revoked, we had [[File:UngaWungaTime.jpg|purity sessions]] of which our priests of our clans purified the warriors that went out into battle before they come into to the village and resume life there. And we were even bartered as [[Rosechu|slut]]— bartered off as [[Basement Rosechus|slaves]] to the [[Virginia]] and north and northward.

And we had a whole bunch of medishin [[Tobacky|medicianal supstances]] that were created within our times by our [[Chris and Religion#Chris the Shaman|witch doctors]], which I happen to have a witch doctor. His name is on my thing there, but [[Honor roll|I forgot memorize it]]. Which he comes from the Chandler Clan on my [[Bob Chandler|father's]] side. It was a good union, though, between my father meeting my mother, for she comes from the [[Daniel Weston|English clan]], but we were here in America first and we had our own tortures. And through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations, we ended up walking the Trail of Tears.

Which, beyond which, as we walked the trail, some of us wandered off the trail to be hidden from those that have considered us slaves. Unfortunately, thanks to our right— thanks to our guys, slavery has abolished altogether, including— including the [[Niggos|black slaves]]. Though I not say that, it was of an consasensus...

''[Chris suddenly changes from offensive Indian imitation to offensive urban patois.]''

Hey, we're with you on this one, dude, we're with you on this one, dudes. I mean, we were slaves as well back in the day. But we've managed to collect ourselves, and there only a few of us left within this [[America]] and mostly there are only partial regions with us, but there are organizations of us Cherokees within states like Oklahoma and Tennessee. More information on this, as well as our history, on the Wikipedia. Also, we did go off out in battle after that practice was abolished. Of which we have purified our warriors before they could return to our village. We were fierce, though. We were very, very fierce.

But anyway, with that, don't mess with us. For we will [[CWC is Angry|shoot you]] [[Gun Comic|down]]. Pew! ''[Pantomimes shooting a bow and arrow.]''

==See also==
* [[War Paint Video]]
* [[Cherokian Clan]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2270]]|nextlink=[[A Hike]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-09]]

Jackie E-mails 26

2014-07-28T20:57:36Z

Ty Delle:

More e-mails between Chris and Jackie, from 6-19 [[May 2011]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|May 6, 2011 11:29pm

Chris, $2,000 really isn't that much for a fine quality piece of craftsmanship like this set. Conversely, how much have you spent on your [[PSN]]? at least twice that much, probably a lot more, and that's on kiddy games that you don't even own physical copies of - those games aren't really yours, you're basically just renting them from the distributor. Digital distribution is a terrible investment because if the PSN ever goes down or Sony sells it or something, you would just up and lose all that you had. $4,000 right down the shitter. I think THAT'S outrageous - you talk about how I don't "need" things like these chopsticks or any other hobby, but you don't include your own silly hobby in that statement. But we've discussed that before. But you didn't really offend me, you just kind of confused me.

Anyway, I'll inputt your suggestion for the cell phone into consideration. But for the mean time, I am still saving every cent I have for my chopsticks! :)

And I really like the letter! It was very well-put. Although I notice a factual inaccuracy: You say that Sony is not to blame for the hacking and data loss, but that's actually not true. Sony was incredibly inept, complacent, and careless about how they handled their customers' data, there was NO encryption whatsoever on personal information, it was like they just put peoples' credit cards on a silver platter and said "here you go trolls, come get some". But before this happened they claimed they did have encryption, which means they lied to their customers too. See? They have NO respect for their users, you included. What an awful, awful company.

Well, I gotta go to bed. Goodnight!!

XOXO

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 7, 2011 9:54pm

Yes, I do not deny spenidng the vast amount over the PSN in small
amounts that accumilated over time. I just feel that in the current
economical times, the lesser expensive items are just as good, and in
cases better, than the more expensive. Like paying $200 or so for a
fancy pen which may not or may be refillable or reusable after being
emptied or used up, when I can pay less than a dollar for an [[Wikipedia:Pentel|R.S.V.P.]]
brand pen which IS refillable, and it comes in multi-packs too.

And yes, one can blame Sony for faulty security, but it is still the
Trolls' fault for taking advantage of the situation. At least security
improvement is in the works, and I feel better for stepping forward and
admitting my fault in the situation. Aside from the bad, some good has
and will come from this. Justice against the Trolls! I still won't
feel peace of mind until at Least the [[Cwcki]] is down for good, and at
most in any Google search of my name, will show slim results or ONLY
Good Things about me. It irritates me that there is soo much hate
against me on the internet.

But I digress. I would like to inform you that even though I feel
little trust in you at the time, I still care about you, Jackie. I
really want you to earn my heart back, because we can only trust so
many people around us in the world. I seriously would do my best for
you and me in the relationship, but I want to feel like you can show me
your best in return. Do you understand what I am talking about?

I'll e-mail you later.
Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 7, 2011 11:49pm

Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? Your video game purchases weren't "small amounts", they were sometimes in the hundreds of dollars per month. Honest workers lose their jobs and go broke and homeless while you get the collector's edition of new [[PS3]] games that comes out. To follow your pen analogy, you spend $100 on a video game that often you'll never touch again after playing it for a month (as shown by your PSN activity). And what does the current economical times have to do with your situation? You keep getting your same monthly tugboat, and buying new games, no matter how people who actually have to earn their living are suffering. I just don't think you are in a position to be saying anything about the economy, or my behvior in reaction to it.

I thought you were done with the internet? You swore off of it a long time ago. Why do you still care what's on the [[internet]]? The cwcki isn't going to stop you from getting a job or anything like that. The kinds of jobs you apply for, like [[Wal-Mart]] and [[McDonalds]] and so forth, do not google your name; they hire [[Barbara Chandler|ex-cons]] and former drug addicts, they regularly hire people that would be considered "[[Christian Weston Chandler|unhireable]]" by other employers, they don't care about their employees past. And many people have told you that and shown you proof of that. So you're either done with the internet or you're not, which is it?

And what have I done to earn your mistrust? I haven't done shit to you. I didn't release your pictures, so why should you not trust me? Why should I have to "earn" your trust? You were never interested in earning my trust. What exactly do you want me to do? I think we should start with a blank slate, otherwise I don't see how this can work.

Honestly, you're just confusing the hell out of me.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 8, 2011 1:56pm

Well, my concerns that confuses my feelings include when right after
our first breakup there were previously confidential words that were
exchanged which were later posted on the Cwcki. Lars went out, came
back, then left again. I sense your feelings are still strong for him. You put chopsticks that won't care for you back over getting in better
in touch with someone who already does care about you. And not to
mention my currently ongoing paranoia of the Trolls, ill feels for a
long-distance relationship which hasn't been brough closer and my
feeling discomfort in communication through digital text that only lead
to a non-immediate response that can only be better put in person
and/or in vocal. I feel frustration from being by myself for real
without someone to talk with and/or be by my side for real. With these
issues, I feel clouded and confused myself. *sigh*

Resetting to a blank slate at the moment is easier said than done. I
can't feel easier peace of mind remaining by myself facing a monitor
instead of the emotionally changing at the respectful situation
(smiling or neutral prefferred), pretty face of yours.

I may still be communicating online on Rare occassions or ONLY for a
Few close people, but on a choice if I had one, it is Still Real Life
and In Person or Bust for me. I still Discourage Socializing Online
regardless.

And I will keep my finiancial opinions to myself for a while.

TTYL. Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 8, 2011 5:43pm

Hey Chris. I have a few points to respond to you in regards to your concerns. They are as follows:

<s>Lars went out, came back, then left again</s> Your old gal-pal [[Ivy]] died in an elevator accident, then you referred to me by her in not one but two addresses to me. I sense your feelings are still strong for <s>him</s> her. You put <s>chopsticks</s> your Playstation 3 that won't care for you back over <s>getting in better touch with</s> a new computer in order to stay in communication with someone who already does care about you. And not to mention my <s>currently ongoing paranoia of the Trolls</s> disappointment in your unwillingness to be honest with me <s>ill feels for a long-distance any relationship which hasn't been brough closer and my feeling discomfort in communication through digital text</s> your continual renegging of promises that you made to me that only lead to <s>a non-immediate response that can only be better put in person and/or in vocal</s> me getting nothing while you continue to play the victim card and act like I'm being unreasonable when all I want is for you to give effort without me having to ask for it.

Bottom line, I did the math, and we do need to clear the slate. But it turns out it's YOU who's in the red, not me. So how would you like to go about this? Is there anything you can think of that you can do to wipe it all clean? I mean, I know it looks daunting because there's so much history of dishonesty and deceit on your part. But I believe in you, Chris! I'll try to think of things you can do to bring us back to square one, but try to come up with some ideas on your own too. It would make me so ecstatic to wake up one morning soon and see a perfect idea of how you're going to do it in my inbox! Ooh, I'm shivering with anticipation!!! :D :D :D

Jackie}}
{{Email|May 9, 2011 9:23am

I forgot to ask one more thing, Chris. Answer me this: Why are you feeling mistrust toward me for my allowing my computer to get hacked and emails to get stolen from me, while at the same time you are defending Sony for their PSN getting hacked and your pictures stolen from them? What's the difference? You expect me to go above and beyond to earn your trust back but Sony doesn't have to do anything. Why do I earn mistrust while you still rush to defend Sony when the exact same thing happened?

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 10, 2011 7:11pm

For your information, I have long gotten over Ivy, AND that elevator
gag was ONLY for comic story; she in reality committed suicide over me.

And in response to your later question, there is little difference
between the two issues.

I feel frustration mostly from the internet communication and my
reluctance to online socializing. With the two factors cooenciding
with each other, it leaves me feeling the less trust with people I
haven't met in person. beforehand. With my past experiences with the
internet, how else am I supposed to feel?

I am soo complicated.

Stay Safe with care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 11, 2011 6:43pm

Hey Chris.

I'm sorry if I kind of shocked you with the way I phrased my previous emails, but I felt it was appropriate to use the wording that I did, because I needed to show you how my perspective of your words looked. I didn't mean to make it like a rude thing or anything, and I'm sorry for bringing up Ivy. I just thought it would help if I showed how your words looked in relation to some of the things I have brought up with you in the past. Like, how you question my buying the chopsticks instead of buying a cell phone to communicate with you, even though you chose to buy video games instead of getting a PC that would allow you to communicate with me. I thought it was a valid point to make, since it looks like total hypocrisy on your part, and I don't want you to be a hypocrite. And like you say, there is little difference between the two issues.

And on a related note, I don't think you should worry about internet communication being a problem, because I would really be bringing up the same exact questions and concerns whether we were in person, over the phone, or email, or whatever. I know the trolls have bothered you but that really has nothing to do with our communication with each other. The internet is just the medium, the things I say are the same no matter what.

Well anyway, since we've come to a consensus on that, I'll keep you posted on how my chopstick hunt is going, but I'm going to hold out til I can get the pair that really satisfies me. Anyway, how's your dad doing? Is he still at home or has he had to go back to the hospital? You must be really worried sick about him, I kind of feel silly for not having asked how you're feeling about him recently. How is your mom doing? What about other stuff?

XOXO

Jackie

P.S. Here's another set I'm interested in: [http://tinyurl.com/bvcfwk6]

Wish me luck!!}}
{{EmailReply|May 11, 2011 10:05pm

Yes, the rewording in that past e-mail left me feeling befuddled. At
least you and I have come upon mutual emotional agreement in the past
issues. I think I am starting to feel in a better state of mind about
the thing between us, but I still feel iffy in the heart at the moment. Yes, I think we can restart on a clean slate here. I still feel that
it is of importance that you and I meet in person ASAP, so let me know
when you'll be in C-Ville visiting your family again or whatever so
scheduling the meet is a good-to-go.

My dad is still at home faring okay, and my mom is okay too.

I also feel a bit of a moron, because I've forgotten some of your
details, except from what I remembered, including the C.T.D.s being
your favorite band, you attending [[Wikipedia:Mary Baldwin College|Mary Baldwin College]], working with
the newsletter as a journalist and bunkin' with your roomies. Please
refresh my memory, including your birthday (was it in June?). I'm soo
sorry for forgetting, it has been a while.

I'm gonna go shower now. I'll e-mail ya later.

Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|May 12, 2011 10:23pm

I'm feeling better adjusted to the emotional reset between you and me,
Jackie. I also looked up your past profile entry on the Cwcki; it
bothers me that after I said to myself that I would NOT go onto the
Cwcki to refresh my memory then I did. It does however take me back to
finding you back on [[OKCupid]], followed by the same article in [[The Hook Cafe|the Hook]],
a couple of years ago. You requested for an older man (and I, a
younger woman; both of us old-fashioned), good build, good smile and
good sense of style; also an outgoing person. Someone who doesn't Need
to be with someone, but wants to with knowledge of how amazing it can
be. I was soo lonely, and I had the bod and smile. Yet it took me a
while longer to find my better sense of style. I have had the great
awareness of how amazing True Love between man and woman was and is.
Upon retrospect I felt it was a need back then, yet throughout, I have
always Wanted to feel the Amazing.

You and I have had and still have the latter in common between us, and
now there is more. Now we can actually share styles and makeup.

In the past communications between us, there Was a mutual spark. Now I
understand to withhold the beyond like feelings during pre-in-person
meet communications. I mean, I Like you, Jacklyn, and I do care about
you as a person and a woman; I have to be cautious to not go too far
emotionally prematurly.

Do you feel the same about me at this time, Jackie? Do you still like
and care about me truly, yet feel like wanting to go further
emotionally but can't due to the distance and not having met in person
yet?

People have taken it soo far with their online socializings and what
they post on their pages; unlike them, I was just not ready at all to
be famous, even so cheaply. And yet those who think they're ready to
be famous when really they are not still volunteer lewd images and
converse details and secrets that should not be shared at all. And to
follow are vicious people who will remotely blackmail, smear and hate
those previously innocent people who lacked the understanding or
fullest social networking skills to prevent the hate campaignes from
happening to them. I was no different... I was no different. And all
I can do now is minimize internet communication and warn other people
to NOT become internet famous, NOT to share any private information or
footage at all and to socialize ONLY in real-life because it is way
better and more valid to make eye-contact and watch the other people's
expressions and body language. Internet Socializing inhibits
self-confidence in the Essential Real-Life social situations.

But I digress. I await your next e-mail.

Stay Safe, Jackie.
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 13, 2011 2:08pm

Hey Chris!

I'm glad you're feeling better about our blank slate beginnings. And I much enjoyed reading your recollections of our meeting on the Hook. You bring me back to the good old days of the nostalgia of our first encounterings. ;) Yes, I'm so glad I met you when I did. I posted all those silly things about wanting someone with a good well-muscled body, who was outgoing, and goal-driven, and successful, and all those superficial things. But then I met you, who had none of those qualities, and I began to see what really mattered - having one's heart in the right place. I mean, just think, if it wasn't for the internet, which allows for a person to show parts of themselves that would be hidden in real life encounters, I probably wouldn't have given you a second glance. Before you I was soo used to guys like Lars, who worked out and were physically strong, and who spent all their time out doing things and working and such. I never imagined that someone like you could have such a strong heart hidden under so much apathy and gristle. God Bless the internet for breaking us out of our rigid shells!! :) :) :)

And I'm glad you see it's important to not take things too quickly in the initial stages. We need time to grow and redevlop the trust and mutual feelings during this, our blank slate development. We need to take the time to build ourselves up once again, as we once did. Yay, I'm so excited Chris!! :D

Anyway, I know how difficult your pursuit of fame, power, and glory became for you. You saw how quickly [[Sonichu]] developed fans after you created it, and you became drunk on your e-fame. I remember you used to talk about wanting to turn Sonichu into your multi-million dollar business franchise - you wanted so badly to make Sonichu into a professional comic book, a video game, a kid's cartoon show... heck, you even wanted to build a Sonichu-themed shopping mall. Such grandiose aspirations... and all your fans, bless their poor naive souls, were no help to you; by feeding you such attention they didn't help you combat your ever-growing ego and vanity. I'm glad that you saw the evil path you were treading and chose to do away with those demons, to do away with your infernal tempter Sonichu. That comic was No Good for your soul and well-being and it took a strong person to admit that Sonichu was bad and that you needed to abandon it, which you did. Kudos, my lovely darling. In the end, your desire to keep your soul overpowered your desire for financial gain. I'm so proud of you :)

Well anyway, thank you for writing, you made my day. I'll write more later. But hey, in the next email, why don't you tell me a little bit about how your mom and dad are doing, and how your relationship with them is going? I'm sure you must have a lot on your mind regarding them, and it seems like you haven't written much about them to me (I hope you weren't trying to spare me from any negative feelings that are going on, I want to be able to support you and listen to anything you might want to say). I'll talk to you soon!!!!

XOXO

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 14, 2011 5:54pm

I appreciate the encouragement and appreciation in your reply, but I
have to inform you of a couple of "on the contraries". I am not
"apathetic"; I am FULL of emotions, and I do not lack feeling. I have
good Empathy. And while you have made the true point of being drunk
with power through fame, I actually have felt struggle and frustration from the amount of brainwork it took to respond to the fans and the
Trolls. Sometimes it is okay to think big on some things, and yes
there is still a limit on that. Like I did NOT have an idea for a
"Sonichu-Themed" Mall, and the [[Cwcville Shopping Center]] is not of any
particular theme. Although it did have the amount of ME in it, and it
has the built-in Mayoral Office. Also I am NOT finished with Sonichu;
I have a lot more in mind for the comic series; I am awaiting
inspiration to get back to drawing on a daily basis, as well as taking
the time to find myself, go out an socialize, find the truest love and
romance, somehow get all that hate campainge against me off of the
internet, finding financial security from employment and maybe finding
a place for myself away from this house or otherwise get the clutter of
my mom and dad out of here and donated to Goodwill or something
eventually.

And as for my mohter and father, there is little to hide about them.
Mom and Dad are both seinor citizens at 69 and 83 respectively. Dad's
a retired egineer from G.E. who also designed the controls for the
plastic molding machines, so without him, you wouldn't have the plastic
casing of things like your keyboard or as simple as a plastic funnel.
Mom was mostly employed in secretarial-type work in a few places
including Virginia Power and F.N.A.N.B. (First North American National
Bank). They're good people, but their mindset is little up-to-date;
they're not all that modern with the trends. Like for example, they're
still not used to me being a tomgirl, and they're against me wearing
makeup and nail color. And I wear my skirts behind their back as well. I wish they would accept the feminine fact and let me be, so I
wouldn't have to hide it from them. But the Trolls did get the photos
and wind, and they have pestered them into worse paranoia. Do not
believe everything that is on the internet about them either.

Something else I'll let you in on about myself; I do enjoy the chick
flicks as well as the romantic comedies and classic musicals. I'm game
for flicks among the other genres well. I'm up for the occational
thrill from a thriller or horror flick... come to think of it, I may
have told you about that before with my enjoying the story of John
Kramer, A.K.A. Jigsaw in the "[[Saw]]" movies. Please let me know if I
bring up anything I've already mentioned before.

And please ask me about anything else you'd like to know about. I'm
coming up blank on topics, but I do make reminder notes of
to-be-mentioned topics for reference; I need to think up some more.
Please verify for me if your birthday is coming up in June or when is
it?

TTYL. Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 14, 2011 10:43pm

Hey there Chris!!

Hey, I appreciate the position you're coming from, but you have a couple errors in there. I'll point them out for you, and also I'll bring up some questions I have about each of your points:

-The word "apathetic" doesn't have anything to do with emotions, at least not in the way you think. It means passive, unconcerned, unmotivated. Because, you know, you have trouble getting motivated to think of things to do or work to pursue, or to actually put any legwork into any of your projects or ventures to get them off the ground.

-I know that your fans bothered you with all their questions - that's part of what made you so drunk on your power. Because you were more concerned with what your fans could do for you, but you didn't really care about the thoughtfulness and concern you owed them in return for their long-time faithfulness (I think their feeling unappreciated was a big reason a lot of them left to follow Asperchu, wasn't it?).

-You certainly DID have an idea for a Sonichu-themed shopping center! It's all detailed right here: http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cwcville_Shopping_Center
It was a project you did in your [[CADD]] class in college, and I know I've heard you speak before about how it was a major project that you would like to put into reality at some point (I think when you spoke to that one girl's father a couple years ago you talked about it).

-I don't understand what you mean about Sonichu. You say you have inspiration for ideas, but then you say you DON'T have inspiration? Which is it? I mean, I'd love to see you start working on your artwork again, but it's been a year and a half of you doing absolutely nothing so you're going to have to forgive me for assuming you stopped caring. What ideas do you have for the series? For that matter, what ever happened with that [[trollbusters]] comic you were going to do? You had this huge plot outlined for the first issue but then you just dropped it and that was months ago. Are you still planning that one too? What other art/design projects are you planning currently? (Any new comic websites on the horizon? Oh hey, have you ever seen [[My Little Pony]]? You should make a tomgirl pony!!! It's cutie mark can be the tomgirl symbol!! That would be so rad!!!! :D)

-You have mentioned a lot about wanting to get a job, become financially secure, and move out of your parents. Those are all good ideas, but what have you done to actually pursue it? Where have you been applying recently? This is especially important considering that you're saying getting a job and becoming financially independent is a prerequisite for working on other goals. (That's why I say you're kind of apathetic; you talk a lot about your noble intentions but you never seem to want to put any work into it.)

As for your parents, that's all the basics, but don't you have anything else to say? I mean, you tell me not to believe everything I read about them on the internet, but the cwcki has over ten times the information on them that you just gave, and a lot more detailed too. Don't you ever converse with them? Don't you care about them? I mean, your dad just had cancer and major surgery, he ALMOST DIED. I would think that when I ask you to talk about your father, you would at least have something to say about that, but instead you just give me a little blurb about the most basic details, and then switch the conversation to how they bother YOU. You know, I understand that you are annoyed they aren't being very supportive of your transition to tomgirlhood, but you have to consider that your lifestyle changes are coming at the same time as your father and mother have to deal with life-threatening cancer. That's something that is taking a LOT of their energy to deal with. You really don't have a right to just demand that they put their priorities on hold and open their hearts without delay to whatever is going on in YOUR life, especially when you aren't willing to do the same for them.

Anyway, I had a bunch more to write but it's getting late and I have to get to bed, so I'll write more later. Goodnight!!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 14, 2011 10:57pm

I want to add something to my response to the Q about my parents. I
care about my mother and father a LOT. Given on how old they are, the
recent hospital drama we're still recovering from, and I'm working on
myself, I feel sad talking about them these days. Plus, between them,
they're arguing half the time, and I have been in the middle soo much;
frustrating. But in their own way they are generally good people.

My mother is a country-raised tomboy gal who worked through school,
been in and out of a few exes, one of which gave her my half-bro,
[[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]]. And he has had mental problems since he hit his
head on a bus, and has taken it out heavily on our mother. Then
finding and marrying my father, being the great wife and mother of me
she was throughout the years. She has done a lot and suffered through
hard times with my [[autism]]. She deserves the grandest award there ever
is, including my love and care for her while she puts up with her hubby.

My father was well-educated, became drafted into the signal corp of the
Army in WWII, stationed in Korea (before the split). Married one time
before my mom, during which he had my other half-bro, [[David Alan
Chandler]] and my half-sis, [[Carol Chandler|Carol Suzzane Chandler]]. Working between a
number of General Electric plants designing, working and all that. He
found and married my mama and put up with me too. Yet he picked
arguments with me and mama throughout. He also raised me on music and
the golden oldie musicals and got me started on the gaming world with a
Commodore 64 computer. His abilities have slowed down over the years,
and he was 53 upon my conception, so he was a Seinor ALL of my life. I
did not have much of a father figure to look up to, as he was fading on
and on and still truckin' with his [[Cherokee]] blood.

They both have done a lot for me throughout my life, and I will always
appreciate their deeds and all, and I will continue to care about them
both. But I have a life of my own too, and I feel crestfallen when
going into details of my fading family and the situation I feel traped
in, which are details for another time post-meeting.

sigh

I'll e-mail again later.
Stay Safe with care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 15, 2011 9:48am

Well, it's all well and good for you to SAY that your parents deserve better, but mostly you just complain about how they aren't serving your desires and whims. And once again, you just gave me kind of an encyclopedic little blurb about them which contains basic information I could find on the cwcki. I mean, your father almost dies from cancer, and you have nothing new to say about your relationship with him, just the same old complaining about him "starting arguments". I bet if I talked with your mother or father and asked about their relationship with you, they could go on for hours about you. I thought you wanted to start with a blank slate so we could build a talking relationship that wasn't based on only video games and toys; I don't really see why you refuse to talk about more serious subjects until some arbitrary point after we meet, but whatever.

<nowiki>~~~LE SIGH~~~</nowiki>

Anyway, I attached an image of some My Little Ponies I created! Maybe you can work them back into Sonichu now that you're working on it again, or your new comic, whichever one you're doing. (When are you going to have the first pages ready?) They are a tomgirl and tomboy pair of ponies by the names of KaKa HooHoo and Brony Dash (KaKa is on the left, Brony on the right). You should take them and use them!!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 15, 2011 5:33pm

I do have conversations with my mom and dad now and then, and they have
confided secrets in me before. It's mostly topics I have already heard
before which I can recollect about half or so of the grand latter. And
I do not "demand" that much from, and on the topic, I have rarely
"demanded" or expected Anything from my fans. Among topics, I learned
to try mixing appropriate edibles into a combination which mostly makes
it better in taste. Recently, my father suggested putting pork/beans
and sliced hot dog into a baked potato. He also likes to add his own
spices into the spaghetti from Sabaro's. I have remembered some of the
makeup and styling ideas from what I had learned from mother throughout
my life, as well as organization and following instructions to the
letter.

Back to the fans, having them AND the trolls in the mixed blender of
confusion, I always have felt appreciation of their support, and I have
felt disgust for the hate. Eventually, it became that much harder to
tell one from the other, so I was mostly blank and confused in response
without being sure how to respond, and no response or a neutral
response was all I could come up with. I Rarely "expected" or
"demanded" anything from them (the one time exception was when [[Fanmail Reading|someone
purchased as a gift the download of Half-Life 2 through Steam]]; I
responded with a "thank you, but I'm not a PC Gamer; I would have
better appreciated the Orange Box on PS3".

It's hard for me to get motivated to do some things, because I get that from my parents as well. Being in their years the past few years, they
hardly self-motivate themselves individually. Plus With my paranoia of
what can be found in the background check, regardless of rather or not,
and there ARE rumors that can get around. I applied to the new
Wal-Mart and McD in Ruckersville; supposedly NO background required,
right? NO, I never got a call back from Wal-Mart, even after reminding
them, and I was not hired after the Interview at McD. Rumors do fly
from the internet.

And I have little knowledge or aid in being able to move out of this
house; my SSI is under my father's name and SS#, so I'm stoned there.
Money is tight for me, and I am unable to pawn off anything at this
time after pawning off all of the older consoles and stuff, and I can't
do eBay or whatever for the unpawnable stuff I have. So I need
in-person help with all that.

I appreciate your artpiece of custom ponies, and it looks very nice. I
am not using any ponies in any of my comic pages, because they're not
really cannon with Sonichu and Rosechu. The Mall is [[Cwcville]]-Themed;
NOT Sonichu-Themed. I do not deny designing it, and if I had the
chance and the grand amount of money, I would buy Fashion Square and
have it rebuilt into the two-story mall of my design (with or without
the mayor office). Or if my family had the money, we would take the
old restaurant building in front of the Circuit City building in
C-Ville and turn it into a Meet, Eat and Greet Bar and Restaurant (my
father's idea; Emphasis on Meet and Greet). I have all of the ideas
for the future comic pages, but like my parents, I do as I feel. But I
have a LOT of details in my head from reality, that I find it hard to
focus talent-wise and feel blessed even to be able to focus on my
social skills and beauty improvement. And I have been going out more
for Karaoke and Fridays After 5 and such.

And you and I can discuss adult topics; all you have to do is bring
them up so I can respond appropriately and better think of more topics
of my own to bring up as well. Like for example, [[Twin Falling Towers|the death of Osama]]; I
am neutral on the topic. It is sad that another human being was
killed, but on the other hand, he WAS a terrorist and we're better off
without him. My father is against the death, though; he's responded to
it as a total murder on Obama's head. Maybe it's not the best example,
but it does emphasize that you and I CAN talk about adult topics and
current events and whatever; it does not have to be toyful, gamey or
cartooney.

And there ARE complicated details between me and my family and whatever
that I don't feel comfortable telling you over e-mail, and I promise
you that when the time is right and we have met in-person, I will share
them with you in strictest offline confidence. And even though I have
lied before, we are starting on a clean slate, and I promise you that I
will tell you only the truth, ONLY withholding deeper truths for
offline confidentiallity.

I'll have to re-read the other questions you have typed in your recent
e-mail that I have missed addressing before I address them in my reply.

I'll e-mail you later.
Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 16, 2011 8:46pm

Being around people who aren't motivated to do anything is no excuse for not motivating yourself, whether they're your parents or not. Especially when you KNOW that it's happening. I've known plenty of people in my life who are lazy and don't do anything with themselves, that doesn't excuse me from not having to do anything. Whether your parents are lazy or not - that has nothing to do with you, it doesn't matter. You are responsible for your OWN actions and behavior, not them. You're 30 years old, it's not their job to force you to do things to take care of yourself and improve your life.

As for Wal-Mart and McDonalds, you have no idea why they didn't hire you. Maybe they just hit their quota and your application came at a bad time. You can't just assume that your internet reputation and the cwcki are responsible. You have NO reason to assume that is the case; I told you, employers don't sit around and google applicants. How many places have you applied for besides those two? Or are they the only places you applied? And both were MONTHS ago. Where have you been looking for a job RECENTLY? Do you know how many jobs I have applied for in my life that I didn't get? DOZENS. And there is no website or group of trolls tarnishing my reputation, so how do you explain all those places that didn't hire me? But I still find employment because I KEEP LOOKING. And you've been using the excuse for years that you have "little knowledge" of how your tugboat works. It's your responsibility to go learn and figure it out, you know. I don't think anyone wants to hear you complain about how bad things are for you when you refuse to try to fix your problems yourself. If you actually tried and still failed and THEN asked for help, I think people would be a lot more sympathetic to you and willing to help. But you don't try, you just beg others to do the legwork for you.

But you know, speaking of the tugboat check, there's no possible way that check is not in your name. That money is YOURS, not THEIRS. YOU are the disabled person; that means the government issues it to you. You need to stand up to your parents and tell them that you are holding the banana, not they, and they need to respect that. You say how unmotivated they are, so what are they doing with that money of yours? Probably nothing. Don't just accept your dad's handwave that his SSI number means he controls the money. Confront your parents and find out the truth!

Well anyway, even if you don't want to use KaKa HooHoo and Brony Dash in Sonichu, I'd love to see what they look like if you drew them. Maybe you could start up a new comic featuring them, and then run it concurrently with Sonichu and Trollbusters. When are you bringing those two back again, by the way? (Or not "bringing back" Trollbusters I guess, since you never actually started it. But when will you be starting it?) Or maybe you could just draw a portrait poster of my two ponies or something. But I don't really get what the difference is between CWCville and Sonichu, CWcville is the location that Sonichu is set in; that would be like saying if I drew a Gotham City comic that it wasn't Batman-related, even though Batman is based in Gotham City. So really, it was a Sonichu-themed mall.

Well, I gotta go, but I'll talk to you soon!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 17, 2011 5:33pm

I am not 30 Yet. Those people MAY have met their quota in employees.
I do not know why they did not hire me; I am not a mind-reader. I do
not know what else I can inform you about that has to do with why I
further fear looking for a job. But I DO know that Most People who
Hire actually DO perform Background Checks. Regardless of Troll input,
I still feel fear on What IS found in my Background Check. I do not
know everything that is found when a Background Check IS performed on
me, and all things considered, I do not think or feel that I want to
know.

I will draw the two ponies for you another day; I stand behind my mall
NOT being Sonichu Themed; I can, and Will, use the city of Cwcville as
the Hometown of Cal and Dee^2, the TrollBusters. On that note, would
you be saying the mall is TrollBuster-Themed also? You can not mix
themes in that sense. The Mall is a Mall, and its ONLY theme is
C.W.C.; Christian Weston Chandler; ME. I don't want to further discuss
it.

I have also just been in another emotional family drama. Last Sunday,
My mother comes upstairs and yells at me about how She Thinks I'm
turning queer from being Tomgirly and Feminine, AND she fears that I
would kill her. Hand to God, I would never kill Anyone, including my
own mother and father. Violence and Murder is Rarely the answer;
murder is Morally Wrong; I care about my mother and father Very Much.
And even worse, she threatens to kill me in her episode of emotional
rage. She also took my keys. And shortly later, she tells me to come
downstairs, so I go; she tells me to sit down, and she does the worse
thing that broke the last straw on my camel's back, she Cuts my Long
Hair Short and Butchered. After seeing the butchered hair in the
mirror, I was soo in shock, I wield the double-edge sword I have been
holding in for weeks since a much earlier fit of emotional rage of
hers. I called her a Bitch. With her as a bitch, that makes me a son
of a bitch, and it hurts me deep too. My hair is soo bad, I have to
wear my PaRappa wool hat to cover the whole mess when I go out; I can
not be seen in public with this short-hair mess.

Yesterday, I go out to Wal-Mart with my father, and I find and purchase
some Shampoo and Conditioner from Garnier Fructise's Length and
Strength Brand to prayfully grow my hair back more quickly from what
would have been MONTHS. She cut off Two Inches; that's about 4 Months. This was supposed to be the Year of Me; I was making Best Social
Progress with the [[Wikipedia:Mary Tyler Moore|Mary Tyler Moore]] hairstyle, with Better
Self-Confidence; Gone in a snip snip snip of my mother's claws. I also
have retrieved the hair clippings shortly after the tragedy, gathered
them in a clump, wrapped the clump in a plastic wrap, put it in a
plush, satin-like baggie, attached a necklace to it, and I am wearing
my clippings as a Charm to prayfully promote quicker hair growth and
recovery. I forgave her for the butchering of my hair today, but now
while I still care and love her like a child for a mother, sadly there
is now a Mutual lack of deep trust between us. I will continue to run
errands and shop for her and dad, and we're talking again.

My head Feels a Bad Kind of Naked now. Answer a question for me,
please, Does a Hair Salon ACTUALLY have an immediate hair growth
solution for styling and such?

And now that we're on the subject, please tell (or remind) me of your
family; mom, dad, siblings, etc. I think you're familar with my half
brothers and sister.

E-Mail ya later.
Stay Safe with care,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 18, 2011 8:43pm

Hey Chris. In order to better answer the points you made, I'm going to break down your email into quoted segments and respond to each individually:

''"I am not 30 Yet."''
Oh, excuse me, 29 and change. Huge difference.

''"I do not know why they did not hire me; I am not a mind-reader."''
Then stop pretending like you are one. Stop pretending like you know for a fact that your internet reputation is the reason you haven't been hired.

''" But I DO know that Most People who Hire actually DO perform Background Checks."''
Of course you know that employers perform background checks. I know you know that because you have had background checks explained to you in detail a hundred times over, most of the time by myself.

''"I do not know everything that is found when a Background Check IS performed on me"''
Yes, yes you do. I have explained to you COUNTLESS TIMES what a background check is. A background check is an automated program in which the employer checks to see if you have any FELONIES ON YOUR CRIMINAL RECORD. As I have gone over with you MANY times, you have NO felonies to your name (the incidents with the police at the Game Place and Fashion Square were NOT felonies, your record is clear), so an employer's background check would cause NO PROBLEM for you. You have no excuse for not acknowledging this. But even if you don't believe I know what I'm talking about, why don't you take the effort to go learn from a source with more expertise?

''"I do not think or feel that I want to know."''
That much is evident. Sticking your head in the sand seems to be the only thing you DO want to do.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. How come you just sit and let her cut your hair? You could have gotten up and left, it's not like she could physically hold you down. I understand you feel bad about calling her a bitch but I understand why you did it; she obviously put you in a very bad place by betraying your trust like that.

Let me ask you, I know Rocky is helping to search for a job for you, but have you thought about asking her with help moving out? I think your relationship with your parents would be a lot smoother if you were out of the house and had freedom to pursue your goals without being mocked and judged by them. I think you should talk to her about it.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 19, 2011 8:02pm

Yes, I could have backed out and went back upstairs from my mother, but
at the moment, I was feeling fear, and I had the default mental preset
of honoring thy mother. Plus I also felt mentally paralyzed. I'm
praying for quicker hair growth, I'm using Garnier Fructise brand
Length & Strength Shampoo & Conditioner items, and I have a wig that is
adaquate enough for me to be seen in until when my hair grows back.

I have asked Rocky on looking for a way for me being able to move out
and into a place based on my Autism; the details of the deal are mostly
over my head, and I understand only like one or two things of it.

Let's talk about more pleasant things for a while (more or less). I
remembered it was you who recommended "[[DivineTrial|Pink Flamengos]]" and "[[Wikipedia:Cannibal Holocaust|Cannibal Holocaust]]" to me. I would still like to be reminded of some of the
other things you've told me before. And I would still like to read
about your family. I pray they are still doing well.

Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.}}

==References==
<references/>

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|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails 25]]
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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 26]]

Jackie E-mails 25

2014-07-28T20:55:44Z

Ty Delle:

More e-mails between Chris and [[Jackie]] from 25 [[April 2011]] to 5 [[May 2011]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|April 25, 2011 5:40pm

Yes, I know that you're [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_might_be_gay|straight]], you really don't need to convince me. Although I'm still not sure why you have these visceral vomiting reactions to seeing another [[penis]], normal straight people don't have that, but whatever.

I thought you were over [[the Game Place]]? I mean, we talked for months about you getting over it because it is long in the past It really seems like a serious issue that you retain these violent, hateful thoughts for years and years like that. And considering that we talked for hours and hours about the incidents at the Game Place but you were unwilling to accept that your behavior was in any way wrong, I'm willing to bet that [[Michael Snyder]] didn't think your [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] was sincere (How can you apologize properly for something when you believe you haven't done anything wrong?) Have you ever considered pursuing some sort of psychotherapy/counseling? You know to be honest, that's one of the reasons I didn't really want to start calling you yet, because I wanted to see if you had become willing to pursue self-improvement in the months since we last talked. I mean, you still have all your video games that you play all day, but that's not good enough, you also need to be able to go play [[Pokemon]] [[cards]] with children at the Game Place? In my humble opinion, you need therapeutic help with your anger problems much more than you need to play Pokemon cards or video games, and just like you said I would consider which is more of a "want" or a "need". (Besides, didn't you tell me that the reason you screamed out loud and got yourself banned was because all the children making noise and ruckus [[stress]]ed you into screaming in the first place? Why do you want to go back to a situation that caused you so much stress?) And as an aside, I think it's pretty selfish that you would want the Game Place to burn down and for no one else to enjoy it just because you can't.

But here's an idea for you: You know how they say that when you are really angry at a person, you should write a letter to that person telling them how you feel but not send it? Well, I would suggest this: How about you draw a picture of you burning the Game Place down? Put all your hatred and rage into that picture, make it really visceral and detailed. And don't send it to Mike Snyder or anyone else, just send it to me. Or Dana too. I think it would be very therapeutic for you to do, and also a lot more productive than just thinking about it. Tell you what, get that drawing to me by Wednesday night. I can't wait to see it!

Well anyway, it's your choice if you want to get over your problems and impress me or not, I won't force you. But I'm glad that we're opening a dialogue again. Hey, try not to feel too bad about what your mother is saying. It sucks that she's not being very supportive of your changes, but you know that you have people like me and [[Dana]] who recognize that you're doing what you need to be happy. And yes I did get the photos! They look so amazing!! I love the confidence and poise that you display in those photos, that tells me you're doing the right thing. Do you have a date for when you're getting the tattoo yet? I really look forward to seeing the pictures of that! Also, have you considered maybe getting some heels to wear? They make you taller... and you know how us girls like tall men ;)

XOXO

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 26, 2011 8:40pm

I am happy to hear your praise for my [[Tomgirl]]ish ways. :) Yes, I have thought of getting a pair of heels; I will be doing that soon enough too; also a denim skirt. It will be about mid-next-week when I get the tattoo.

On the Place topic, yes I still have the chip on my shoulder, but Rocky continues to hear me out there; I'm good. And on another hand, I've "been there, done that" on the fire-starting drawing of the Place. The other day, I drove by there, took a photo of the store front with my DS, and later drew TNT boxes and flames on the photo digitally. But I did not send it to Dana; I sent it over the [[PSN]] under one of my secondary accounts to a confirmed [[troll]], then deleted the original message from my end and all traces of the jpeg photo from my [[PS3]], DS and the SD memory card. This was like over a week ago, and since I have not seen it on the CWCki's recent uploaded photo log, it is obvious to me that nothing will come out of that anyway. Upon retrospect, sending it to a troll was wrong, and if I had thought of sending it to Dana instead, I would have. *inserts foot into mouth*

A fun story on another topic, I have recently imagined myself dressed in my feminine outfit and makeup in a bar full of lesbians (I got the silly idea that I would likely fit in at a lesbian bar). LOL I found a successful woman in the bar, we talked; she was fascinated with my stories; I liked her too; we went back to her place; I warned her that I was actually a male; she was surprised, yet curious and willing to try me; we did it. And here's a fun, kinky part, we did it in lesbian's position ([[South Park|the scissor-thing]]) with my dick in her vag. Again, this was only pretend in my head. If this turns you on, good. It was fun for me anyway. :)

I've been busy this week; [[Bob|my father]] was put back into the hospital under his doctor's orders for examination of his heart and such. He'll be back out by or before Friday. My mom and I have been visiting him each day for 3 or 4 hours. Mom kisses and hugs him before we leave; it is sweet. On the similar topic, apparently one of my [[Manchester High]] Class of [[2000]] classmates is working at Martha Jefferson. I have not met her yet, but I left a note with my number on it for a meet and greet arrangement. Talkin' about the old days and whatnot. Plus I may be able to track one or two of my [[Gal-pals|closer classmates]] with her help. If not, I'll still have a classmate for a friend within my current life.

Also recently, I have been experimenting with body hair removal systems. I tried waxing; I had diffculty, only a little pain; I could use some help on getting the hang of it. Then I tried the "As Seen on TV" Smooth Away; it worked some, but not so much; got a rash on my leg from the effort. I would not recommend the product. And lastly, which removed the latter, a hair remover shower cream [[Wikipedia:(Nair (hair removal)|Nair]] brand "Shower Power Max", to be specific). It worked great, but I either used a bit much or left some on longer; this was last night. I had worse pain on the rashed leg, and new rashy spots on the other, on the right side of my belly near the button, and on BOTH of my nipples. The pain was excruciating; I was lucky to find comfort and fall asleep with a few dreams. The areas still hurt some, and I will heal, with sexier legs to look forward to. It's a blessing neither of my arms were pained from the experiment. The pain was equivilant to harsh sunburn. I would have been more comfortable with Waxing in comparison. On the classic 1-10 scale; waxing was a 2; the S.P.Max was an 8.5 (going on 9 with the extended searing pain). At least my arms, legs, torso and pubic are sin hair and real smoooth. :)

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe with Love,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 26, 2011 10:47pm

Hey Chris!

Well, maybe you should ask [[Rocky]] to actually help you get over those [[Chris and religion|unchristian]] thoughts of revenge, but I am very happy that you're already one step ahead of me about getting it out of your system. Who exactly did you send that altered photo to? And I don't think I understand, why did you want it on the cwcki? Kind of too bad, if you wanted it to find its way there you could have asked me for help getting the trolls to bite it up. Well, tell you what: Do the picture again for me. Make it even better this time! I can't wait to see it. Draw the Game Place burning to the ground with you dancing on its rubble, happy to have justice done. Or photoshop it like you did the first time, either one works. Do you think tomorrow is soon enough to get it completed? Probably won't take you more than an hour or two. Get it to me tomorrow! :D

That's an odd fantasy that you bring up about the lesbian thing. Actually, it's really funny that you mention it: The other night I had a dream that was basically the exact same thing! Well, actually it was that you picked me up in a bar (We didn't previously know each other in the dream), and then you took me home and we started to make out and we were going to have sex. But then in the dream, I was secretly a man! And when I told you so, at first you were shocked, but open-minded, and we had [[Homos|hot passionate mansex]]. We did lots of erotic frottage in that dream. Isn't that funny that we had the exact same dream? I guess erotic minds think alike ;)

And hey, that's really great about your old classmate! Why don't you call her and try to set up lunch or something? It would really be great for you to catch up with her and maybe find some other of your old friends through her. Let me know what she says!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 28, 2011 7:09pm

The burn-down is not a big deal; I sent it to PSN user, [http://psnprofiles.com/tricomri tricomri]; obviously he didn't log in for a while. So, for the better, nothing bad will come from it. I do not need to do it over again; it is behind me.

In response to your dream, I thank you for sharing. At first after reading it, I felt a little disgust, but I have had my own thing where I would have you wear a strap-on, so in that view, it is not so farfetched.

I gtg; TTYL. Stay Safe with Love,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 28, 2011 7:25pm

Well, you're still fantasizing about the Game Place being burned down, and it's extremely apparent that you still hate Michael Snyder, so obviously it's not behind you. Besides, it's not only about you, it's about me too. If you did it for some random guy on your friends list, you can do it for your girl, right? I asked you to do it for me. So do it for me! Have the Game Place on fire, and Michael Snyder on his knees crying over losing his life's worth, and then you and [[Sonichu]] dancing around the wreckage laughing and pouring gasoline on the building (to show Sonichu helped you). And also, you should show yourself lecturing Mike Snyder, explaining exactly what he did wrong and why he deserved what happened to him. And put your full effort into it - color it this time, don't be lazy and skimp like you did on those [[Book10Replacement|issue 10 trial redux pages]] I asked for. I was hoping to see it by today. Get it to me by Saturday.

Anyway, I still don't understand exactly why you wanted the drawing to go on the [[cwcki]]. I thought you didn't want new details and stuff to go on there? So why would you want this picture there? And how do you know this tricomri guy is even a troll? I've never heard his name before.

Well, gtg; I look forward to the picture. Saturday!

Jackie}}
{{Email|April 30, 2011 1:34pm

Chris, is everything okay? I haven't heard from you in a couple days. Is your dad doing okay?

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 30, 2011 9:52pm

My father is fine. I sent you a message about Thursday. I went to watch "Grease" at the Paramount Friday with the Young Adult Group.

I:l( I just found ALL of ny tomgirl photos on the CWCki. I am feeling shock, crestfallen; uncertainty.

That's all I am going to say for now until I get my laptop.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 1, 2011 12:38am

What??? How did they get out???

I'm really sorry that happened Chris. Was it because the PSN got hacked? I heard that the hackers made away with a whole bunch of peoples' personal data, like credit card information, login info, and such. They say this is one of the biggest ever leaks of personal information. I've been reading about it here: [http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/gamesblog/2011/apr/29/psn-hack-industry-reactions]

I understand you're feeling down from that, so don't worry if you don't feel like talking much right now. But I'm here to listen if you want to talk.

Jackie}}
{{Email|May 2, 2011 5:30pm

Hey, Chris? What's going on? I know you're sad about the PSN being down but really, I don't get why you're just ignoring me. I guess if you aren't interested in reconnecting, that's your prerogative. Hope some other girl is actually able to capture your interest.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 2, 2011 11:06pm

For your information, Jacklyn, my life does not revolve around video games and the friggin' Network, although I do keep up-to-date on the restoration progress on the Blog, so I am well-aware.

NO! I am feeling more ticked with the Trolls right now, and with due respect, you. I have deleted ALL of the messages and photos I have shared in Better confidence with Dana after sending them off. It IS my fault however on authorizing the sharing my recent photos with you. Considering your History of sharing the stories, AND photos and art, of you and me since our first break up with the Trolls. And since then in our off-and-on relationship(?), I have seen "Leaked" e-mails from between you and me on the Cwcki and their damn websites against me. It's either them having direct access with YOUR computers, or you lying to me and possibly keeping a secret that you have become ONE OF THEM. I even remember your past excuse of Lars leaking our stuff to them as well. That and "your friend" will NOT fly with me. I feel disappointment and lack of trust with you. I am sorry, and I empathize with how sad you probably feel from reading this, because I do not like to hurt my friends, but this is the truth.

You WANT me to Earn Your Trust; well You have to Earn My Trust, WITH Interest. I will not be sharing photographs and confidential information with you again until you have earned it.

I would very much like a Successful, Lasting Relationship with a woman as pretty, sweet, trusting and kind as you Used to be. Obviously when there is little to no trust between you and me mutually, I'm afraid it is hard for me to see a future in the relationship between us, and that makes me feel really sad. *sigh*

Jacklyn, Prove me wrong in my theories; Earn My Trust. Think long and deep about that.

Stay Safe. Love,
Christian.}}
{{Email|May 3, 2011 2:10pm

Oh boy, Chris...

First of all, I have NO idea how your pictures got out. My friend that I told you about swears up and down that she kept it secret, and she doesn't even know who you are on the internet or about your past so she would have no reason to care about releasing them. She doesn't even HAVE copies of them. And so what if you deleted your pictures and messages after sending them? For all you know, Sony keeps archives of every message sent by its users without telling them. They already were proven to have lied once, they claimed that their credit card information storage was encrypted but it wasn't, which resulted in a whole lot of peoples' credit cards getting available to the hackers. Maybe when you "delete" something on the PSN it doesn't actually STAY deleted on Sony's servers. Have you thought about the fact that Sony might be screwing you over this time?

Secondly, you act like I have nothing better to care about than your troll activities and as if my entire existence revolves around you and your antics. I have a lot of things going on Chris, and among them I don't have time to give a shit about releasing your photos to trolls, or joining trolls, or BECOMING ONE OF THE TROLLS, as you suggest. Lars did release shit on you in the past but he isn't involved in this anymore, I haven't even told him you and I started talking again. And what do you mean, Lars and my friend will ""not fly" with you?? Are you accusing me of being a liar? How many times have you lied to me??? Only one person out of the two of us has a history of being caught repeatedly lying and warping the truth, and it's not me. Everything I have said to you has been true.

Thirdly, why is it such a big damn deal that those pictures are out? You go out dressed like that in public anyway. Given how obsessive some of those trolls are, I'm surprised none of them have captured photos of you outdoors already anyway. So what if they're laughing at you on their website? What exactly has changed by this?

Fourthly, how arrogant of you to say I have to earn your trust "WITH INTEREST". I spent countless hours talking with you and trying to forge a connection, and how did you respond? You acted like I owed you sex. You whined and complained whenever I asked you to do even the tiniest thing, and even when you did give way and do what I asked, you did it in the laziest, most slapdash method possible, all so you could get back to spending time playing more video games. Rather than you come see me, you wanted ME to come see YOU. You wanted ME to give up what I was doing to entertain YOU. What about just recently, when you got upset that I wanted to buy my new chopsticks? You said I should know the difference between a "want" and a "need", even though you yourself dropped everything so you could go buy a damn PS3 (that you claim your life does not revolve around). Funny how your "needs" apparently encompass toys while everyone else is only allowed to "need" what you think they should need.

But fair enough, I admit that you have reason to be a bit nervous because of the PAST information releases (even though I apologized for doing the email releases A YEAR AGO because I was mad, and I wasn't responsible for anything else after that). What exactly would you have me do to earn your trust? Tell me what you want, and I'll see what I can work with and what's feasible.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 3, 2011 8:04pm

I'm still reading thoroughly your reply. I will respond in detail in a day or two.}}
{{EmailReply|May 5, 2011 1:42am

Dearest Jacklyn

First and Foremost, I owe you a huge apology, Jacklyn. I have conversed with Dana earlier tonight, and she has confirmed for me the
fact of all sent messages and attached images over the PSN were saved on Sony's database in addition to on the sender's and receiver's
consoles. Jacklyn, I am sorry for accussing you of the photos getting in the Trolls' hands, and I am sorry for thinking you were in league with those fiends. I was feeling shocked, embrrassed, mortified and all out paranoid. It is my fault that the photos were put on an online server of any kind; once it's online, it's still going to be somewhere on there for good. And I am sorry for blaming your friend too. For my apologies, I ask only for forgiveness in respect.

On another topic, the leaked e-mails and the discussion which among which made me feel distrust towards you. All I ask in respect to that is you getting your cell phone ASAP (regardless of your chopsticks coming first), and meeting me in person ASAP as well, with due respect for your breakup recovery.

I have also just read that those among my Trolls HAVE hacked into the PSN, as it is described in their May 4th blog entry. A deliberately planned file was put into their servers under the name "Anonymous" and under the subject, "We are Legion". I was victim of the Anons, and I have received or read of their "Legion" before. I have prayed that My Trolls and Cyber Bullies would be found and tried in Sony's and FBI's investigations, and the downfall of ALL of the websites against me, especially the Cwcki, for good to follow. It looks like God is finally answering my prayers for giving due justice to my Trolls, and for this news, I am grateful. Yet I can't help but feel like the PSN hacking was relatively MY fault as well. I have egged the Trolls back for their mocking me, smearing my name and all that. And adding jealousy into the mix when they heard of my [[Monthly tugboat|SSI]], followed by them learning of [[Chris and money|the majority of my spendings]] and whatnot.

I will continue to withhold all photo files in any e-mails and such sendings and uploadings. But I will inform you this in confidence. To answer your question of the importance of the tomgirl photos, having them online and being made mockery of not only adds humilation to my emotions, but also they KNOW of my long hair and my current features; I am retargeted for real-life Trolling, and this enables them to recognize me. I did not want to be recognized in public. They have been calling my parents, increasing their paranoia of me "turning queer" from the makeup and all, when that is NOT the case. I will Always be Straight. It is bad enough that my parents both lack trust in me to a certain level that their paranoia takes over their elder minds. I feel that the only way they May begin to accept me as a Tomgirl is if I actually bring home a woman who sincerely likes me for all of who I am, including being a Tomgirl, wearing the makeup and all that. I have to change my shoes and such and put on makeup when I am AWAY from the house, leaving it in my past clothes (panties and bra remained concealed, so that's not much of an issue). And I have to change back and remove the makeup before entering the house again. Plus mom and dad are paranoid of me being targeted to be Killed for being soo different, but that's outdated theories that need to be updated. And they scare me with recent deaths, such as three who have died in Green County recently; Dana confirmed for me that those individuals died of Drug Overdose. I wish I did not have to conceal my makeup, feminine clothes and tomgirl ways in front of them; it saddens me and frustrates me.

sigh

I'm still recovering from my family giving me hell in that category on my way out yesterday and shouting angrily at me.

On another topic, the Sylvania "Smartbook" isn't working out as much for me as I had thought, and it is not upgradeable, even in downloadable software. I will save up and do better for a laptop in a month or two.

I'll e-mail you later. Stay Safe with Care,
Christian.

P.S.

In the "with interest" comment I made in the previous e-mail, it was NOT meant to be sexual; I meant solely for like things like keeping promises and confidential secrets and the like.}}
''Bob and Barb's worry probably stems from the death of Christopher Horr from heroin overdose; he was from Ruckersville but wasn't a tomgirl.''<ref>[http://www.heraldstandard.com/gcm/news/local_news/area-mother-to-speak-about-son-s-fatal-drug-overdose/article_0911fa76-eb65-5f93-b8fd-d83c1ed8e770.html]</ref>
{{Email|May 5, 2011 8:54pm

Hey Chris!

Thank you for your apology. It was very sweet of you to be so forthcoming, and it takes a big man to admit his mistakes. I forgive you ;)

Anyway, I don't have a lot of time to talk at the moment but I just wanted to say that. Also, I'll definitely be getting a new phone as soon as I have some cash available, but in the meantime I'm still saving up for my chopsticks. This is the pair I really want, take a look! :)
[http://tinyurl.com/bmjcbos]

I gotta go, but I'll write more later. Night!!

XOXO

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|May 6, 2011 10:08pm

First, let me offer my initial response to your last message's second
topic. I do not mean to give you a hard time; it's only an initial
response from surprise. $2,000 for a pair of chopsticks? I would say
that is outrageous if I didn't know better of you getting them locally
for less (correct me if I'm wrong). You could be getting that cell phone for less than $100.

I apologize if I offended you with the statement.

Onto another topic of importance, last night, I have hand-written an
8-page press-release documenting the details of my trolled experiences
and my apology for egging the Trolls in response. I will be typing the
document for yours, and Linnea's, reference. Plus, in your case, Jacklyn,
it would make a good article for your newsletter.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe with care,
Christian.}}
{{EmailReply|May 6, 2011 10:38pm

Subject: Re: PlayStation Network Hacking Issue

To All Who are concerned,

My name is Christian Weston Chandler; alias, Christopher, of
Ruckersville, VA, U.S.A. PSN ID: "Sonichu".

I take pen in hand as not only one of millions of [[PlayStation 3]] Owners
and Network Members, or a concerned individual on the Great, Vast topic
of Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, Anons, etc., but as a Victim of these fiends.

I have read on the May 4th PlayStation Blog entry @
blog.playstation.com, the confirmation of the sophisticated and planned
bug-planting from "Anonymous" with the message, "We Are Legion". I
have prayed throughout the PSN outtage since mid-April, 2011 that Sony
and the Federal Beural of Investigation would find all of MY Trolls,
who have been bothering me since November of 2007, starting with their
Hate and name-Smearing Campaigne against me on the now deceased
[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website.

I was, and still am (in a bad way), Internet Famous. I am the original
creator of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pok'emon]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; I have
drawn a number of comic books, by hand, of some of their, and mine,
adventures. But at around [[Sonichu 5|Book 5]] or [[Sonichu 8|8]], the Trolls have affected me,
and became obscenely intrusive in my head; Too Many Cooks in my work.
A MAJOR batch of thorns pinching and aching my nerves.

To the point, I erroniously for Years egged the Trolls back; responding
time and again to their mocking me, slandering my once good name,
destroying me with a terrible internet reputation full of lies and
exaggerations. I was also tricked, deceived, blackmailed, etc. of a
lot of my own personal information. And contrary to what they say
about me, and of utmost importance to me, I AM Heterosexual; I am
attracted to Women. It ticks me off to be grossly mislabled otherwise.

Over the years, the trolls continue to get more and more personal info from me through Hacking into MY Online accounts from my e-mail, to identity theft through my debit and credit cards, AND Destroying ALL of my websites including "[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC's Sonichu Site]]", The First and Original Sonichu and Rosechu website, created solely from my hands, and the last
to fall from my control, the later updated "[[Cwcipedia]]". The Trolls
have created among their websites, The Worst of their sites to slander,
hate and smear my name, The "[[Cwcki]]". They have also hacked into MY
PlayStation Network Account not Once, but THREE Times, getting my
Purchase History, Out of Jealousy, or something of their twisted
reasons, because from my High-Functioning Autism having a monthly
Social Security Income. I can not help it at this point, because
thanks to those fiends, Any Background Check on me from applying for a
Job or Work... INSTANT NO-HIRE! I man, Google My Name; ALL
HATE-CAMPAIGNE. I also LOST my [[MySpace]] and Facebook accounts to those
fiends. If I had ANY hacking skills, I would have Counter-Attacked the
Trolls and cleared my name, but I have no such skills at all. And for
about Two Years now, I have ceased Socializing Online, AND I heavily
discourage Everyone from Socializing Online. The whole world is
becoming more and more Anti-Social AND Autistic-Like from Online
Socializing. It is No Good.

It is REAL LIFE Socializing Or Bust For Me!!!

And Because of my trials of responding and egging them on, and it
leading them to hacking my PSN account, I feel, in association, it is
my fault the PlayStation Network was hacked in the first place, leading
to their sophisticated attack last April and the exposure of Sony's
faulty security and all this.

I feel bad, because from egging the Trolls on in my past immaturity in
response, it has caused a lot of grief, troubles and problems to the
good people at Sony. Yet on the other hand, I feel good, because from
my past addressed notes and concerns I called and told them before and
all, the security of the PSN is being addressed greatly, the F.B.I. is
closing in on the Trolls more, and finally Justice May be Served
Greatly to ALL of those fiendish Trolls.

In my past, my family and I have received phone calls that were obscene
and abusive from these Trolls as well. We have reported them to the
Police. We had trouble trying to, and finally reaching, report to the
F.B.I., and even talking to Congressman, Tom Perrillo. Sadly, The
Police have done Very Little to help us; the F.B.I. have not been able
to help us either, and Perrillo has flaked out on us too; NOTHING. He is a bad man to us.

And all the while, The Trolls continue to hurt and affect us
emotionally and mentally with their Trolling us, Me in real life with
unwanted photo-taking of me and uploading them for twisted Troll
reasons, and such; Mind Control-Like! My family and I are paranoid,
ticked off and emotionally worse of these Trolls and Cyber-Bullies.

What I am saying here is Sony is NOT TO Blame for the Data-Hacking,
Loss and all. It is the Trolls, Cyber-Bullies and Anons who ALL should be sued for this outtage and soo much more.

And because I egged them back, I feel like I am at fault as well, and I am greatly sorry for that.

What should be done from this point on is pure and simple; Do Not
Respond to Any Troll Attacks; Just Delete All e-mails, voice-mails and
snail-mails that insult you or ask for very personal information. And
if you know, or are related, to any suspicious people with hacking
knowledge or too may Personal Computer items in their possession,
REPORT THEM To your local Police Department or F.B.I., or any
authoritive person.

When we do our part, we can put an end to Cyber-Bullying, Trolling and
their "Anonymous" and "[[4-Chan]]" Groups, and all unrequired, unwanted
smear and hate campaignes of innocent people like me and you for GOOD.

Have a good and safe day.

(signed) Christian Weston Chandler.
May 5, 2011}}

==References==
<references/>

{{succession
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|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails 24]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie E-mails 26]]
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{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 25]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2014-07-26T23:17:56Z

Ty Delle:

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be [[Chris and Reality|closer to real life]], though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates [[Lie|liars]]. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her [[Obesity|fat]]. She points out that [[Women's rights|her face isn't under her shirt]] when Chris claims to have been looking at her face.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the [[Jerkops|police]] with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is autistic. [[Death threats|Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot.]] When it is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]], Solid is enraged by the idea. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being worried about being [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] instead of paying attention to what she is saying.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad gave Liquid his blessing, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about [[Honest Content|truth and honesty]]. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid asserts that he will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey & Liquid Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Ep6VulN-QdM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]; [[Liquid]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Father Call]]
| next = [[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' [[Kim]] and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time ly, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
br>/font>
you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And mbr>y name is Christian, and I'll thank you to call me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! I have been [[Honest Content|honest]] and [[Lie|true]]! [''Chris begins breaking down in tears'']
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taken Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the ''real'' Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— [[Kacey Call 1|He's been a]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|liar the whole time,]] [[Kacey Call 2|you know it...]]
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! You're 27, why do you br>font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. A/font>
re you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barb called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barb and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' No, Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barb that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/?08ro202hlz9pzlk the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5LnjUqby4 the call on YouTube]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 6

2014-07-26T04:16:23Z

Ty Delle: /* Transcript */

31 [[August 2009]]

*[[Chris]] got some calls from a [[troll]] pretending to be from [[GameFAQs|gamefaqs.com]] (Chris pronounces "GameFAQs" as if "faqs" is a word).
*Chris thinks he defeated a troll by calling him back and telling him to shut the fuck up.
*Chris's parents drop him off at the [[mall]] so he can draw [[comics]] while they go use their senior discount at Ihop.
*If Chris went to Ihop with his parents it would "mess things up" because they're using their senior discount to buy Chris sandwiches.
*Chris wrote a list of nice discussion topics because he doesn't want [[Kacey]] to yell at him again.
*First topic: ''Hannah Montanna''. Kacey says it's for 12 year old girls, [[Pedofork|Chris thinks it's pretty good and wants to buy it on Blu-Ray]].
*Second topic: Chris's [[college]] days. His first good memory is the time a hypnotist came and included Chris in his act.
*First the hypnotist wanted Chris to insult him, so Chris called him [[Random-access humor|"Uncle Screwy Louie"]]. He still thinks it's funny. Then the hypnotist said "when you open your eyes you'll see everyone naked". Chris didn't really see anyone naked, but he played along as he [[The Creepy Stare|smiled at the ladies]].
*Another good college memory is when he was included in a quiz show game. Chris didn't make it very far, but at least he tried.
*Chris was in touch with his "girl crush" [[Kellie Andes]] for a while after graduation; recently he found out she's married with two children. Chris could tell by looking at a prom picture of her that she was already taken by [[JERK|some guy]], when he saw that it put him into [[Stress|shock]] for a while.
*Chris made a few friends and acquaintances at [[PVCC]], "but they kinda came and gone", especially after he got kicked out of English class. He "became shy" after that.
*Chris talks about a teacher, or as Chris calls him "[[CADD Chef|this one black guy]]" at PVCC, and how upon first being there he "had bad vibes about him". He picked almost as many arguments as his father! Chris says the teacher would constantly [[Kick the Autistic|put him down and what-not]], with mean insults like "That's not right, do it over bla bla bla"... Kacey points out that's not putting him down, that's teaching. Chris did not like his tone of voice. "The way he carried on and such. He talked more calmly to the other students, I actually observed."
*Chris was happy to graduate from PVCC, because "It felt more like a Hellhole than Heaven". Chris was sad to graduate from [[High School]], because he didn't receive any awards.
*He's still whining about not getting any awards; he got a star pin but "that's SMALL in comparison to other awards". Kacey tells him to stop being childish and grow the fuck up; Chris ignores her and whines more.
*Chris watched ''Labyrinth'' because it's Kacey's favorite movie. Kacey talks about David Bowie's [[Pickle|"bulge"]]; Chris gets uncomfortable and tries to change the subject because he is [[Homos|STRAIGHT]].
*Chris "tried reading" ''[[Harry Potter]]'' but couldn't get into it. Also competition with [[Pokemon]] or whatever.
*Chris suddenly tard rages because a troll keeps calling him. He doesn't understand why he keeps calling after Chris told him to stop.
*Kacey asks what books Chris has read recently. He of course says Pamela Anderson's ''Star'', then admits he hasn't read anything else. Kacey tells him he should read ''Catch 22''. Chris thinks a "Catch 22" is a kind of "sexual touch".
*The only books Chris owns are [[R.L. Stine|''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'']].
*He also read ''The Giver'', so he spends five minutes recounting what happens in that book.
*Chris tries claiming that he has multiple personalities. Kacey tells him he's full of shit.
*'''Chris says he JUST NOW changed over to his other personality, so now he's [[Christopher]] instead of Christian. He is serious.'''
*"Christopher" says he only caught some of the conversation and doesn't know what's going on.
*Kacey tells him he might have a brain tumor.
*Christopher gives up and says he just switched back to Christian.
*Christian says "Christopher" came out recently while he was playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. He thinks there is a difference between his two personalities' voices.
*Chris says he'll talk to his doctor about this serious problem.
*Kacey isn't taking his stupidity seriously, so Chris suddenly backtracks and says he just made up this multiple personality shit to mess with the trolls.
*Chris stopped taking some of his meds and now he feels more confident.
*Chris has been taking Lipitor for the last 2 years to keep his cholesterol down. He's like "It was optional, but I thought it was a good idea".
*Chris says he mostly eats grilled chicken sandwiches from [[McDonald's]]. He thinks this is [[Chris and Health|healthy]]. He also only eats Hungry Man dinners "once or twice" a month, mostly he eats Healthy Choice frozen dinners.
*Chris says he walks about half an hour a day around the neighborhood, and thinks this is "strenuous".
*Kacey thinks Chris is going to die.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 6
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|fM8ktx0YG_o}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 5]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 7]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kace, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay, just a little tired from work, how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm okay, I'm a little too tired from uh, being trolled.
 '''Kacey:''' Aw.
 '''Chris:''' I keep answering incoming calls from the trolls. Uh, especially, uh, to- Especially, uh, you know, incoming calls from the one... troll who pretended to be an employee over at GAME FACKS ''[sic]'' dot com- You know, G-A-M-E F-A-Qs, uh... Anyway, uh... They say- Anyway, they say it was the guy that's been ordering all the uh, free catalogues and boxes and what-not, sending 'em to my house with the stupid [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] name on the address. Uh, yeah but I'm handling that and dealing with-
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should tell them to fuck off and leave you alone. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' You should tell 'em to fuck off and leave you alone. They won't be expecting that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my father- My father did tell them that. Actually, after we got home from the uh, church yesterday, he told 'em that. And they called a couple more times today and he's finally giving up.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but you shouldn't be bothering your father with that, I mean YOU should be able to do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' You should be able to fight your own battles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean- I mean, he's been calling the house phone and my father- And my mom and dad have been ans- Have been monitoring his calls with their caller I.D. which is downstairs. In their lair only.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then they shouldn't pick up either.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah well mostly they do not pick up. Uh, anyway, also this, uh, guy... that pretends to be a legal rep from- from uh, Bandai, Bandai or something... Yeah he's practically calling non-stop, and that's just been- That's just been bothering to me. I finally- I finally managed to to, uh- I think I finally shut him up though. Uh, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I think you should just keep telling them to fuck off, I think you need to take a better offensive stance on this. They're not going to expect that from you, you just need to be like... Like, just be strong.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you think I haven't tried telling 'em to uh, to back- to back the fuck off, I have done that before.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but you really have to be a man about it, you need to really say it in a tone, you can't show them any fear, any whining or anything, you need to just WOW them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah well anyway, I think I finally got- I finally got the Bandai guy to shut up, I, uh, you know, I called him back and I told him to call toll-free HIS phone number, OR shut the fuck up and stop calling my cell phone number. And then I said goodbye and hung up on him.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, that's a good start.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. ''[Forced laugh]'' Yeah, so anyway, um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well if you've got their numbers you should call back and do that yourself, I mean, don't wait for them to come on your turf, you need to show them you mean business.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they have your number anyways, it's not like it would hurt.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I should definitely be calling 'em back and telling 'em to, uh... Yeah. I will do that. Uh, but anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, shouldn't let them take control of you. You need to control THEM.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Turn the tables, you know.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I will do that. I will do that, but any- Yeah. Anyway, something else on my mind, my father and I were planning on going down to Social Security tomorrow or Wednesday, talking about what they can do for us with the, uh, job and all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's good, I mean it is on the website though, so it shouldn't harm you, but maybe they'll have someone who can help you through, but remember, don't let them do everything for you, and you should probably do it tomorrow, you know... Just because, I mean why not get it done as soon as possible?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well-
 '''Kacey:''' Get it done faster.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' That will surely show those trolls.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. You know one thing though, uh... I would do it myself but unfortunately I don't know the right questions to ask, my father is the one that has- has more knowledge about that sorta thing, so yeah. But definitely like, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' But you need to get the knowledge. So, YOU should be doing this, your dad can't do this for you, this is about you being independent.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I know, but I don't know the right questions to ask.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're gonna show you what you have to do, I mean the... It's common sense what questions you're gonna have to ask. Like, "How much can I make? How many hours can I do?" this is stuff you already know, you shouldn't sell yourself short.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Or ask your dad beforehand. Don't make him do it for you, just be like- See you don't even have to ask him, just be like "Do you have any suggestions?"
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Kacey:''' This is something that you need to do yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I need to ask suggestions, yeah. I should probably ask him to write down the right list of questions for me. But then he'll probably- Then he'll likely insist on wanting to come and, uh- Yeah, come along anyway. And plus like, you know, yeah, my mom's just finally offered me to, uh, to uh, to drive her car today, but unfortunately I had to let her drive, yeah, she was going to IHOP, and I wanted to do some- get some drawing done at the mall while we were out, uh, cuz you know, if I'm not going to [indecipherable] family, but they would drop me off at the mall while they're at IHOP, cuz if I go with them to IHOP that will mess up their uh, senior discount deal. And then they might not be able to get me the sandwiches that I would have- The sandwich I would have that night. It's a pretty good sandwich, by the way.
 '''Kacey:''' You got a sandwich from IHOP? That's like, the International House of Pancakes.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, my family gets like a senior discount, and uh...
 '''Kacey:''' But what does that have to do with pancakes, it's pancake house!
 '''Chris:''' ''[Laughs]'' Well, they sell sandwiches there. Heh, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' But, you go to IHOP for pancakes...
 '''Chris:''' Heh, well I'm sure my mom and dad would have eaten pancakes themselves there, but I mean I don't know, but you know, it's their- Order pancakes at the uh, International- Over at the IHOP... ''(Uncomfortable laugh)'' I don't know... Plus, I don't know all the details of the uh, senior citizens discount, though anyway if I went with them there, uh, it would just mess things up. I mean I know we- We know, we tried it once before, and they- Yeah, it just really messed it up.
 '''Kacey:''' Messed what up?
 '''Chris:''' The senior discount deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' I mean the people at the, uh, restaurant place are, uh, fairly strict.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah I'm surprised they even have a senior discount deal, I mean my restaurant doesn't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but it's like once a week though. Only on Monday nights.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well back to the Social thing, I mean... I think you need to tell your parents that this is something you need to do, you need to face the world on your own. It'll be a great learning experience for you and you'll be with people who are there to help you. So it's not gonna hurt you or anything.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, we'll I'll- I'll talk to my father and see- See if he'll write me the correct list of questions and let me go by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean plus they're gonna take you a LOT more seriously if you're coming to them yourself. They're gonna look at you with your parents and they're gonna be like, "This guy doesn't want help". They're gonna... not help you. They're going to do it resentfully.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that's just the way the world works, unfortunately, that's the way they're gonna see it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it's like a dog eat dog world, well you're right, I see- I see- I see it from your point of view, I get it. Hm. Anyway, I- Anyway, let me, uh- Anyway, uh... Anyway, other than that, I did come up with some nice, uh, discussion topics that you and I could talk about. You know, like a couple of days ago, but then uh... Then you brought up the maturity, telling me all that... It's like I couldn't get the, uh, conversation topics I managed to write-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you have them, go ahead and bring them out, that'd be cool.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Alright, well... Here's a good one, uh, let's talk about my feelings on Hanna Montanna, your feelings- Your, uh... We could- we could further your- Your- Destination of your feelings about her. And that show.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, um, well, Hanna Montanna's like a guilty pleasure for me, because you know, it's a show for like 13 year-old little teeny-boppers, and I really shouldn't be watching it.
 '''Chris:''' Heh.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, it's cool, Miley Cyrus is so talented.
 '''Chris:''' Well I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' But it's really for teeny-bopper girls.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean, I've only seen like a couple of episodes of the show, yeah, but from what I recall, you know, yeah, she's- she's pretty good. But it's like you know, I mean I could get into like, you know, watching more of the show myself, I just uh, hadn't really gotten around to it, or... Just hadn't really felt like it but it's like you know, I could. I mean you know they released season one on DVD, plus they have the uh, movie on Blu-Ray, I could rent that, or... rent the season one or whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Uh... but anyway yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Remember how I said I wanted to talk about more ADULT topics, and I just mean mature topics? Do you have any of those?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Well, kind of, we could talk about college- We could talk about my college days.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' You know, just uh- I mean I could reminisce a bit about uh... You know, between high school days and eventually leading on to college days. Got the rundown here (?)... Let's see...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well tell me about college.
 '''Chris:''' Um... Yeah, okay, I only have like a couple of good memories from my college days, like uh, you know... Uh, there was this one time, where uh... This good- Where this hypnotist came in, and uh, he- And then I- And then he let me uh, get up on stage and be one of the uh, subjects. But it's like, I wasn't really hyp- I wasn't really hypnotized. But I, like, played along with it, I mean I actually knew what was going on.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...
 '''Chris:''' And I think uh... Hang on, let me see if I can remember what happened. Um... Yeah I think at one point, uh... He wanted me to, like, insult him a little bit, when he said a cue. And it's like, uh... Yeah, it's like yeah, okay, I got it, when you say the word you'll want me to insult you, and it was like I couldn't- I tried to think of a good insult but I don't know, I just came up with like you know, just calling him "Uncle Screwey Louie". ''(Waits for Kacey to laugh)''
 '''Kacey:''' Ohh.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Laughs)'' I don't know why that- That little- He just.. Just a silly stupid name. Uncle Screwy Louie. Heh.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. ''(Laughs politely)''
 '''Chris:''' Yeah then like you know, later he's like you know, oh, then everyb- Then he says, like you know, he says at a certain point everybody opens their eyes and then... It's like- We're supposedly like to see everybody... naked- Everybody in the audience naked, and freak out or something. It's like, uh, you know, I- I opened my eyes and I didn't really see anybody naked, I saw everybody with their clothes on. But it's like you know, I played along and I just sat there and smiled. Heh. At the ladies in the audience. ''(Laughs)'' Yeah. And then he says like you know he gave me another cue like yeah, "Chicago", then everybody- Then we all- Then we all danced. A little bit.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' And it's like I did my fill of dancing, he touched my shoulder and told me to sit down, there you go. Uh, I think that was pretty much- I think that was pretty much it as far as I can remember from that day.
 '''Kacey:''' That's cool.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, anyway, uh, anyway another- Anyway another good memory I have from the college days is like you know I participated in a quiz sh- In uh, this one time, in a quiz show event. Uh... It was like you know, one of those remote con- One of those things where they hand you a remote control and you answer the- and you answer the uh, questions while you're in a seat. And if you're amongst the uh, top four scorers you get to go to a- You get to go and uh, be one of the uh, buzzers on the panel to uh, win the mon- win the prize money. Try and win the prize money. Uh, obviously I did not even get up there- I did not even get the chance to get up there, but, you know, I tried anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, at least you tried, that's all you can ask for.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Oh, another thing I uh, feel like I should mention, uh, remember- I think I remember telling you a little bit about my high school crush Kellie An- Kellie Andies?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, after we graduated I was in touch with her for like about a year and a half after that, and then it's like I- I missed calling her one weekend, and then it's like I sorta- I lost the habit. And then like a- And then like a couple of months- A couple of months, uh... earlier recent- Couple of months ago recently, I found that she had been... Excuse me. She had been married and she has like, one or two children. So...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' That's good for her then, anyway. But it's like you know, uh, I, you know, after I stopped the uh, habit my mom made me- My mom told me like you know- Oh yeah I can tell from like, you know, just from looking at her like, like in... The prom... The, uh... Yeah she was obviously already taken by this- By some guy. And it's like- I was like oh my God, I was in shock for a while. I think it was like for a couple of weeks or a couple of months. Maybe- Yeah, somewhere between there.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Not really listening)'' Oh that's cool.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, I lost touch with her and that was like a downfall. Uh, I've made a few friends and acquaintances since uh, Piedmont. But they kinda like came and gone. And it's like you know, mostly like GONE, because since, you know, after- Especially gone since after February 24th 2003, which was- that was the, uh... 21st birthday I got kicked outta the English classroom, so it's like you know, I couldn't make- I just didn't- I uh, just didn't feel like- I just didn't... I just became shy, and didn't make as many friends as I was able to beforehand. And then the uh, and then the uh, Sweetheart Search and Mary Lee Walsh, uh... Going on and all that. And then I got banned for a year and the anger management and the... I got the anger management from the uh, psychiatrist's class, I think I told you about that. Uh, but anyway, I, um... It also- Also, I told [[Kim]] about this part, but uh... You know, during my, like my last seme- My- My last, uh, couple of semesters... Before I got my diploma, um... Instead of my teacher being this, uh- Being this nice, uh... Woman teacher I knew, uh... It was this one black guy. Just one black ''[indecipherable, probably something racist]''... But he was just like uh, you know, upon first meeting him, I- [[Chris and race|I had bad vibes about him]]. And... And yeah, I was right- I was right with that cuz you know, he- He and I just never saw eye to eye. And he picked more arguments, almost as much as my father.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, okay, so you thought this guy was like your father?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... No, no, no, I did not consider him like my father, I'm just saying that like you know, he picked about as many arguments, and pushed a nu- pushed a number of buttons, about as much as my father did. And it was- it just- it just really made me angry at him-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, what sort of arguments were they about? What were they like? I mean, a teacher shouldn't do that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, like you know, he was contradicting my work, and this was also in the uh, last-
 '''Kacey:''' Are you sure he wasn't giving you constructive criticism? He is a teacher...
 '''Chris:''' Well- Yeah, it wasn't really constructive criticsm, it was just mostly put-downs and what-not.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what did he say?
 '''Chris:''' He's just like, uh, "No, this is not right, do it over, bla bla bla bla bla..."
 '''Kacey:''' That's not putting you down, that's teaching!
 '''Chris:''' Uh, but still, he was- His tone of voice was really- It was like- It was full of anger! And- And I just did not- I just did not like that I-
 '''Kacey:''' Well how many times did he have to tell you that, I mean I'd be angry too if someone kept making the same mistake...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, you know, I'm not- '''I'm not one to repeat mistakes''', and I was like doing this... really big project in my final semester. The big plans to make- The big Computer Aided Drafting and Design plans for my Cwcville Shopping Center, two stories, all the stores and the mayor's office!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think he was just trying to help you. I mean, he's teaching, he wants you to pass. He doesn't want you to fail.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I- I mean, I did finish it. Ended up getting a passing grade, but still, you know, I did not like his tone of voice! The way he carried on as such.
 '''Kacey:''' Well did you tell him that? Did you tell him that you appreciated his criticisms, but maybe he should, uh... watch his tone?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I don't remember exactly but I think I might have thanked him for his- uh, for uh, you know, being a teacher and that- and that sort of thing. Uh... Yeah I don't think I talked- I don't think I talked to him about his tone of voice.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe that's just the way he talks, I mean did he talk that way to the other students?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no he was- He talked more calmly. He talked more calmly to the other students, I actually observed.
 '''Kacey:''' Well what'd you get in the class?
 '''Chris:''' I ended up getting like a... You know, a passing a grade like an A- Like an A or a B.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, an A and a B is a really big difference. And, you know, passing- The only thing that isn't passing is one failing grade, so you know... That's, well...
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' At least you passed the course.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I passed the course, got my degree, but anyway, when I got my diploma then at the graduation ceremony, I mean like, I was only too glad to leave that Piedmont Virgina College, cuz you know, I had no new friends- I had no new friends that I would be leaving behind. And I had the bee-yotching Mary Lee Walsh. And then the-
 '''Kacey:''' I thought that it wasn't her- I thought you apologized about that, and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh- This- Yeah, I mean- This was like, only a couple of months ago... And, I like- Up to two months ago...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then you should probably stop referring to her as that. You know, let it go. Let the past go.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Annoyed grunt)'' Anyway the point was, I was only too glad get- to graduate from Piedmont, 'cause anyway, I just per- Just personally, it felt more like a Hellhole than Heaven. Felt more like Hell.
 '''Kacey:''' But... It's school, what do you expect?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Anyway but, I think a big difference though is like, you know, Manchester High School, I definitely have more... positive memories from there, like you know and I did have all my friends. And it's like you know, when I did graduate, I was just sad to leave all my friends. And the all- And all- And all- And all that. Plus, like you know, I didn't, uh, get an award for my creativity, even though I was very creative and I was like... I was highly commended- I was highly commended upon that, at- at- at that moment.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I think you've told me this before.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Ignoring/talking over her)'' But uh, I did not- I did not- I did not get an award at the end. During the award ceremony, that whole graduation mess just... Yeah. Between the award and-
 '''Kacey:''' Well remember, like I said, high school stuff really doesn't matter. Not in the real world.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Groan)'' Maybe not, but it makes you feel better about yourself, talks yourself up, from- to how you feel...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would you need that to feel good about yourself? You should feel good about yourself, period-dot-the end. You don't need an award, that's stupid. That's putting faith in material things, when you you should be putting faith in yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I did, I mean, I did have faith-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you got to graduate, you got the best reward of all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did- I did have faith in myself. It's just like you know, I felt like, you know, they did not see me as worthy of getting an award at that time, it's just like you know...
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Talking over him)'' You shouldn't think of it like that, maybe just, you know, other people deserved it. You can't win everything!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it's like, as if they were telling me like, they had no faith in me.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't mean anything! If you said you were commended, then you were commended, just 'cause you don't get an award, doesn't mean that you're not awesome, I mean, that's childish. That really is, you shouldn't need an award, and you shouldn't feel that they have to give it to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh...
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe someone else really deserved it.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Annoyed stress noises)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you weren't the only one who didn't get an award.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I know, I was not the only one who didn't get an- Well, actually, that's not really true, 'cause I got like... a star, for my grades. My [[Honor Roll]] grades. A star pin. But yeah- That's just- That's just like, you know... That's SMALL in comparison to these BIG awards, and I just felt like you know, oh, I'm looking forward to like-
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think it's a big award, I mean did they get money or something? If they didn't, it's not a big deal. They get a piece of paper, oh wow, it's a piece of paper that they probably don't even have anymore, it's probably lost.
 '''Chris:''' I wouldn't have- I would not have lost my piece of paper if I had gotten it.
 '''Kacey:''' I really don't think it's as important as you say it is, and you shouldn't put that much stock in it. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, yeah... I mean I don't put- I don't put as much into it back then, as I- Uh, I don't put as much nowadays. Into that, I just you know-
 '''Kacey:''' You shouldn't hold a grudge against that, I mean you're 27. You should get over it. High school is over. It's been over.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' You have one year until your ten year reunion, I mean it's DONE. Done deal.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the beginning of that sentence, you said something about the reunion?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, that's just showing how much time has passed.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So you should totally get over it. You don't wanna go there and, you know, talk about this, so people go, "Oh my gosh, this has been over, what are you talking about?" You wanna be adult.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... ''(Long pause)'' But I think that if, still, if I had've gotten an award, I would've felt- I would definitely have felt more- I could've felt a lot better, and much easier, to like you know, leaving high school behind. Like cuz you know, it was definitely more about leave- Me leaving my friends behind.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, just because you get out of high school doesn't mean you shouldn't keep in touch with your friends. Just leaving high school, it should be a good thing, because you're going on to bigger and better things.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. ''(Long pause)'' Yeah. Hm, you know I actually wanna talk about an adult thing, let's just talk- like you know, uh... Uh, how do you deal- Uh, it's like you know, you have your- You have your well-thought moments to yourself, and then you think- And then you think you don't go off (?) if you appreciate the uh... older things, and uh like you know, like- like the uh, older music and the older movies that you watch. You know, you better- You better appreciate them as an adult, cuz you- Rather than as a child, because you couldn't really understand it, it's like you know, recently I watched some- Recently I re-watched some [???] Brothers, and- and- and I have a better adult understanding of the movie than I did when I watched it there a number of times since I uh, was a child or a teenager. Uhh, what are some of the things that you reminisced about, that made you feel better? Or... And you felt, more better when you viewed it as an adult.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry I didn't get that, could you repeat that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Some of the things that you used to, uh think about when you were a child, but then you kinda thought about as an adult and further appreciated as such. Uh, what were some of those things?
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Long pause)''
 '''Chris:''' Did you understand that? Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' Um... Uh... Not much.
 '''Chris:''' Not much. Okay... Hm, okay, um... It's like- Okay, what was the, uh, favorite movie of yours that you watched when you were younger? When you were young.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, it's still ''Labyrinth''. I mean, ''Labyrinth'' is a pretty old movie.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, by- Yeah oh by the way I watched- Anyway I rented it and watched it last night, it is a good movie.
 '''Kacey:''' You watched it? Oh, cool!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. All the complex- All the complexities, and uh... That made it like you know, yeah I think knowledge would be [???] you know. I like the part in the beginning with the uh, maze. Like, oh yeah, you think it's a wall, but then it's actually like you know, it's actually a space between the vines that's just- It's just like a visual illusion right there.
 '''Kacey:''' So what do you think about Jareth? I mean, Jareth was my favorite.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, David Bowie played him. Yeah, he's okay-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh, I know, he coulda stolen me any day.
 '''Chris:''' He coulda stolen you any day? What, like as a little baby?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, obviously not, but I mean, he was... He was- Oh, that fucking [[Pickle|bulge]]! Ooh.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean that's- I mean, the uh- Yeah. You would- You would be impressed by that, but as a guy, I'm not totally impressed with that.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Trying not to laugh)'' Why not, it's David Bowie! Everybody loves David Bowie!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I'm str- Yeah well it's like, you know, uh... I don't wanna go into that, it's just like you know, just... Yeah. But, yeah, I'm straight.
 '''Kacey:''' But still, it's not like you can't appreciate.
 '''Chris:''' But I mean it's like you know, I appreciate his- I appreciate the way he sang, and yeah, he sang pretty good. But yeah I mean, then you go reference- referencing his BULGE. And then, that's like WHOA-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just because you can say another man is attractive or hot, doesn't mean you're gay, like I can easily say another GIRL is hot or attractive, and appreciate her for her womanly things, and it doesn't mean that I want to have a relationship with her.
 '''Chris:''' Uhhh, yeah but anyway- Uh, from my point of view though... Uh, definitely... have not really given it much- given it all that much though, and... Ahh, I don't- At this point I just don't feel like I could... care to really change my mind otherwise.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' But I liked how, uh, Jen- How uh, Jennifer played her role as the, uh, girl who went through da maze. That was pretty good.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' And then made the- And then made the friends along the way, like uh... Yeah she had that- That yeti-like guy, I think his name was, like, Yorda or something like that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, close enough, heh.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' I said close enough.
 '''Chris:''' Heh, close enough, okay. Yeah I kinda liked him, and... Oh yeah, there's like... I bet- You know, he keeps- He kept calling Hoggle, "Hogwart"? That's where- I bet that's where the author of ''[[Harry Potter]]'' got that- got that word. From that movie ''Labyrinth''.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know if that's where she got it, but... That's a good theory.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chuckles)'' Yeah. It is a good- Yeah it is a good theory. But, a lot of things in life, you know, start off as theories until proven right or wrong. But then it's- Like you know, then it's- If I wanted to actually prove that right or wrong just from my point of view it's like, I don't know, I would uh, probably- I would probably go- would go look on Wikipedia for, uh... ''Harry Potter'' or whatshername, the author, I know it's a woman, I forget what her name is but because I didn't know I never came up with-
 '''Kacey:''' J.K. Rowling.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's it, J.K. Rowling, thank you. Uh, but anyway. Yeah I never cared mu- I never cared for ''Harry Potter''. No, but anyway- Uh... anyway what were we talking about- Oh yeah, proving theories, yeah I could just try looking it up on Wikipedia and see what they say on there. ''(Long pause)''
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, I don't know, I don't think she's ever admitted something like that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah okay, well then yeah she- She may or may not have actually she- She may or may not seen ''Labyrinth'', but I don't know, that's uh, one thing or another, um... Uh, but yeah, I've been still, you know, yeah, David Bowie played his role-
 '''Kacey:''' Why do you not like ''Harry Potter''? I mean, have you ever read the books? I actually enjoyed them. Like, I thought a lot better of it after I read the books.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I tried reading one of the books, but it's like I could not really get into it. And originally I did not like ''Harry Potter'' very much cuz... Harry was like, uh, in league- In competition with Pokemon. And-
 '''Kacey:''' Not it's not, it's two totally different worlds. It's way more advanced than ''Pokemon''.
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Yeah but, yeah... Yeah but, this was like- This was like years ago, I don't remember all the details, so I guess it's like, uh... I don't know, it's like you know, I'm still saying I hate- I don't like Harry Potter that much... But it's like- But it's like, I forgot the original reason why- ''(Chris suddenly starts yelling)'' I WISH THIS STUPID INCOMING CALL WOULD- Ugh, that Bandai guy keeps getting- That Bandai person there keeps calling me back, that... It's like, you know, the beeping is- The beeping of his incoming call is just interrupting... the conversation, it's like you know, at points it's like the beeps interrupt you when you're talking and it's just like, it bothers me, I wish this guy would QUIT. I mean why doesn't he get through is skull- through his fuckin' skull I mean I told him right off when I called him back, that he was like- that he was just calling toll-free- "Call my- call your number toll-free but quit calling my number, shut the fuck up goodbye", I wish- I thought he was gonna- I thought he was gonna quit 'cause he hasn't called for like, five or ten minutes, then he starts calling again and interrupting the conversation with you!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, he should have way more respect, I mean, obviously you weren't answering for a reason.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, what- 'Cause you know, 'cause I'm not- 'Cause I know he's a troll. And I don't- I've already established that I know that he's a troll. And I asked him to- And I asked- And I pretty much just forced- I pretty much, uh, raised my voice against him and told him to stop, but he's continuing on and on!
 '''Kacey:''' That's... That's horrible, he shouldn't do that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You're gonna have to be more firm with him.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stress noise)'' Yeah. It's like you know, what- It's like you know, what I was saying is just I'm not exactly sure what to say, other than what I've already said.
 '''Kacey:''' Right, well I mean, let's go back to better things. Um... If you don't like ''Harry Potter'', what books have you read recently?
 '''Chris:''' The last book I read was Pamela Anderson's ''Star''. I thought that was a good story, for what she did.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I've never read that one.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah it's a good story, it's like, basically, she's like- It's like a book about- It's like, uh, as if she was writing her own life, but she was like renaming the characters, renaming herself Australia (?). Which is like you know, it's like-
 '''Kacey:''' That sounds crazy, I mean, I wouldn't put much stock in what Pamela Anderson does anyway, it's like when Courtney Love tried to do a manga, it's like, no thanks.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well it's not- I mean, like you know, yeah... You know, it showed that Pamela Anderson was definitely a smart woman, it's like you know, I wanted to appreciate her as, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm pretty sure she had a ghost writer. I'm pretty sure she did.
 '''Chris:''' No, it- No, I- She pretty much- I do believe she said so herself, she wrote the book herself.
 '''Kacey:''' That's all publicity.
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, still- Still, I've read the- I've read most of the book, and I- and I've enjoyed it. It's a pretty good story.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but like, celebrites never write their own books. They just don't have time. They just slap their name on it. I mean, uh, how about any other books?
 '''Chris:''' Uhhhh... Yeah, other than that- Other than ''Star'', I haven't read- I haven't read too many other books. ''(Long pause)'' Uh, it's like you know, I've either- either been watching- I've either been watching television or playing video games... Uh, other than ''Star'' I haven't read a book since I-
 '''Kacey:''' You know what you should read, you should read ''Catch-22''.
 '''Chris:''' I've heard of th- I've heard of ''Catch-22''.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a great, great book.
 '''Chris:''' I've heard that- Yeah, oh you know, that reminds me of this joke I heard Pamela Anderson- On the show Pamela Anderson starred in called ''Stacked''. And then it's like, uh... Oh shoot, how'd that joke go... Um... Yeah anyway it was a Catch-22 pun right there, but I'll have to watch that episode again to, uh, find- figure out how it goes-
 '''Kacey:''' Do you even know what a Catch-22 is?
 '''Chris:''' "A Catch-22"?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, do you even know what that is?
 '''Chris:''' Ummmm... I think it's like- I think it's like a sexual touch, or something?
 '''Kacey:''' No, that's a innuendo. Um, a Catch-22 is where you're "Damned if you do, damned if you don't".
 '''Chris:''' Ohhhh. Oh yeah, I see that now, yeah, okay. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, yeah I get it. I get it, yeah. M'kay. Anyway, I was- Anyway, I'm right now I'm just, uh... I just got my copy of, uh, ''Star''. Uh, right by my side, so I was just looking at the, hm... About the author, it's like- Okay, yeah, I'm looking on the inside cover on this inside here... Hmm. Yeah it talks about the, uh, author company, uh, "Atria Books"? Uhhh, it says here "This book is a work of fiction; names, characters, places and incidents are-
 '''Kacey:''' You know what was a really good book, that I really liked? ''Battle Royale''. The novel, not the manga, that was awesome.
 '''Chris:''' "Battle Royale". Hm. Okay, well I'm looking at- Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about a couple of books recently that uh, you were in- that you were in- Uh, I should defintely look those up, I wrote them down in my thing here...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like the "Looking Glass Wars."
 '''Chris:''' ''(mumbles confusedly)'' Yeah, oh, oh you're, no that's not it, I'm on the wrong page. Oh, here it is. Oh yeah, you were telling me about, uh, "The Looking Glass Wars," "(Red?)," and "Arch Enemy."
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. And "Seeing Red." Um, so, I mean, what books do you own, I mean, don't you own books that you can read?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I do own books. I got, I got, nearly all the Goose-, all the original "Goosebumps" books, ''(mumbles something)'', and some of the "Fear Street" books too.
 '''Kacey:''' Well do you have any adult books? Like, like, not erotic books, but adult books.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, [''pause''] um, well other than that, yeah, no, not really. Oh wait, I do have, actually, oh yeah, uh, oh shoot, I have a couple of other books in my collection as well. I have "To Kill a Mockingbird," and, uh '''Kacey:''' Oh good!
 '''Chris:''' and, uh this other one, I think this other one, I have this other one that I read back in High School as well. I think it was called ''The Giver.'' [''pause''] Yeah, I remember- I remember the story of ''The Giver.'' It was like, uh, yeah, we were living in- the setting was like, uh, a black-and-white time- time, where everyone was like, uh, the same, not too different from each other, and, uh, instead of like, you know- married couples and stuff, uh, just having a lot of children, it's like, uh, yeah they have birth mothers and, uh, birth fathers in these hospitals or whatever. They give birth to the babies, and the- and the- uh, and the- they don't even bother recording their actual birthdates or giving them their names there. They just, um, give them to the family and, uh, and think they do- I think they give- [''stammers''] I think the parents name the child. [''stammers more'']-
 '''Kacey:''' [''extremely annoyed''] Okay, well anything else?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, yeah, let me- let me finish talking about ''The Giver'' though. Um, but anyway, it centered around- around the, uh, boy, who, uh, was- was gi- was given- was given a job of being the giver, and was learning about all this stuff outside the, uh, black-and-white world where it's all colory- colory- he sees colors and everything, and then he starts seeing the color '''red''', among, uh- among other [''unintelligible''], and then he's like, 'oh, I'm starting to appreciate life now, then I wanna get out of this world,' then they ended the book, he takes his little brother and, uh, gets out of there, and then, it's like an open-ended- it's like an open ending there, so you're not really sure what happens beyond that. Anyway, uh, it's a- it's a compelling story, it's pretty go- Oh yeah! [''chuckles''] Here's a funny one! There's like a part in the beginning of the book, ''The Giver'', uh, where d- where this child is like waiting in line to get a ''snack'', and then- and then it's like a long line, and he's been waiting this- this whole time, and he's like, 'why have we been waiting so long? I want my ''smack''.' [''chuckles'']
 '''Kacey:''' [''forces a laugh'']
 '''Chris:''' And then the adults tear- and then the adults hear him, and then they- and then they- and then they hear him and they give him a ''smack''!
 '''Kacey:''' So, is there anything else on your mind? Like, I mean the email you sent me really worried me.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, well... Yeah, it's like when I'm still get- I'm still getting used to like, you know... Yeah, but, it definitely puts in perspective of why I'm often confused and blank. It's like points when I'm trying to think of something... It's like you know, it's like I'm switched over to Chris- To... Christopher. And, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris... You know it doesn't happen like that, right? Multiple personalities never surface at the same time, and they usually don't know about each other, like you would have that blank feeling and that is it. That sounds like possession, that's NOT schizophrenia, that's NOT multiple personalities.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Plus, you'd be born with it. You can't get it because of Autism. Or from a name change.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well uh, describe to me though, what uh- "Possession", what is that?
 '''Kacey:''' Possession?
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, this kind of possession that we're talking about here.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a possession... I mean, that's the only time I've ever heard of two different personalities being manifested in the same body at the same time. It means you're being controlled by an outside force.
 '''Chris:''' And... Sorry, what was that last one?
 '''Kacey:''' You know, like demons.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause)'' I don't know. But it's like, point is, it made me realize, like you know, yeah, you know... Me being Christian, I was- I was definitely the wuss and the [[Naive|gullible]] one. But then it took- And then it took the uh, dynamic half that I've been- that I've been talking to lately, uh... Made me-
 '''Kacey:''' Those are personality traits, those aren't personaliTIES.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Longer pause)'' Okay, well I don't claim to know everything about multiple personalities or whatever...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean you just can't make another personality come out like that, like it's not possible, you couldn't do it right now.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Even longer pause)'' Uh well I don't know, we'll just have to see about that, won't we? Heh. Anyway...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, if you think you have that much control over it, you should be able to do it right now.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Now Christopher)'' Yeah I pretty much just did! Heh, I pretty much just did. I'm the dynamic one right here!
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... So you're a completely different person. You don't know anything I've talked to you about before, you're completely different.
 '''Chris:''' I've caught wind of some of the conversation when you were talking to Christian, uh... Yeah. But, I don't know all the details, other than the fact that I've got ''Star'' right next to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Right... I mean, it still doesn't sound plausible at all. It really doesn't. I mean... That's like stuff you should go to a doctor for, 'cause that's definitely not healthy, like, you know that could be the sign of a brain tumor, right?
 '''Chris:''' ...Really?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, actually, it is. Like, next you're gonna be telling me that you feel like you're falling when you're standing.
 '''Chris:''' Falling on my standing?
 '''Kacey:''' No, like, people, when they stand, they could be standing or sitting, and they close their eyes and they feel like they're falling? That's a huge sign of a brain tumor. But this is what it sounds like, like it doesn't sound like multiple personalities, maybe you should really go get that checked out. I mean, this is what I'm going into, this is what I study. I'm really scared for you.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Uhh hang on, I'm gonna switch back. ''(Makes a noise to indicate that he "switched back")''
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Laughing at him)'' There's no "switching back"... What??
 '''Chris:''' ''(Christian again)'' Uhh, yeah. Uhh, I heard a little bit, uh, you said something about... Yeah, well I did- I did hear about this, uh... Yeah, I'm definitely gonna schedule to see my uh, psychiatrist Dr. Pryce about this, ''(Kacey talks over him)''
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Still laughing at him)'' No, you need to see a doctor! Like, these are horrible symptoms!
 '''Chris:''' Well anyway- Look, anyway, yeah, psychiatrist, I got- I still got Dr. Pryce's number, he was the psychiatrist I went to during that year I was kicked out of, uh... the, so... I think-
 '''Kacey:''' No, Chris, these are real medical symptoms. Like, so if this is an excuse, you need to quit it. Because if not, you are probably extremely, extremely sick.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause)'' Hm. I see. Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, this isn't cool to play around with.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, but uh, yeah, to make it- To make a point though, he has- I mean, before last- Even before last Sunday, he's come out a few subtle times, like you know, uh... Yeah, when I play Guitar Hero, he comes out like you know definitely, he plays Guitar Hero a little bit, and I-
 '''Kacey:''' Who is "he"? Who are you talking about? If we're gonna play this way, fine. Who is "he"?
 '''Chris:''' I'm talking about Christopher. You just talked to him a moment ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... So there's two of you.
 '''Chris:''' There's a big difference- There's a big difference right there just in the voice tone.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Long Pause)'' And you can control both of you at will, then?
 '''Chris:''' More or less, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, like I said, that really sounds like, um, symptoms of something wrong with your brain, but you know, what do I know, I'm only going into the medical field.
 '''Chris:''' ...Alright well yeah, I mean, I'll definitely talk to my... Yeah I'll get in touch with my psychiatrist to talk to him about it, or uh...
 '''Kacey:''' A psychiatrist isn't gonna be able to help with that, like, a real doctor would have to, like... If you told this to a real doctor, they're gonna be like, "Oh my God, you need help NOW". So like I said, if this is just an excuse, you need to quit it. Because this can get you, like, in serious shit.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause)'' Hmm. Well yeah, that's a lot for me to think about. Uhh... Yeah, but... I can schedule an appointment with my uh, with my physician Dr. McGovern, uh... Talk to him- Talk to him about that, and see what- See- Get his opinion... He's a medical doctor. Over at my- Over at, uh, Martha Jefferson Medical Clinic, nearby.
 '''Kacey:''' Is he a General Practitioner?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well then he can refer you to a specialist. But I mean, when's the last time you saw him?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not sure, last time I saw him was- I usually see him about, uh, every three or four months. Uhhh, so it's like I'm...
 '''Kacey:''' Alright well when was the last time you saw this psychiatrist?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, the last time I saw a psyc- A psychi- I saw Dr. Pryce was like, uhh... Uhh, two thousand six or seven. Something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I thought you said in [[30 August 2009|the video]] and in the email that psychiatrist helped you bring out your other side, so... Why was there, like, a two-year delay? That doesn't make sense to me. At all.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, when I was saying- Yeah, pretty much when I was saying that in the video... That was pretty much just something to, uh, give the trolls something- for the trolls, uh, inquiry, like you know, "Oh, you should go see a doctor", or something like that, it was just- It was just fuel for da trolls.
 '''Kacey:''' Um... Well... You used it against me too, I mean, I... That sounds like lying. I mean, did they give you any medicine?
 '''Chris:''' Uhhh, yep, I mean, they... Yeah, McGovern, they prescribed for me- Actually no, not McGoveren, original prescriber, it was like a doctor, this happened like, I don't know, in 1990-something. I was prescribed Paxil for [[stress]]... For stress problems, you know, keeping my stress down, whatever, but then I got upgraded- And then that went- And then Paxil went out- went out of date, and so I had to be switched to Paroxetine. Uh, but basically I- I was actually- Basically after- During the whole time I took- I took Paxil and Paroxetine, I never actually saw any emotional difference. Or, uh, like I mean you know, I felt- I mean, I still felt STRESS. And uh, all that- and all that stuff, it's- I- And then- Yeah, I recently- And I recently stopped taking the Paroxetine about a month ago, I mean, and then I felt- and then I- and then I fe- I still felt a little difference other than the fact like you know, I'm definitely feeling more CONFIDENT.
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's... That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, like, you know... There's also, like... Yeah, one of the original-
 '''Kacey:''' You do know that the psychiatrist is just the person who gives you drugs, they're not like a psychologist.
 '''Chris:''' Well I don't know the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist, other than-
 '''Kacey:''' I just told you what it was.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah you just told me, yeah, psychiatrist is what gives me medicine, psychologist is, uh... Okay, psychologist, explain that to me, please.
 '''Kacey:''' Psychiatrists give you-
 '''Chris:''' No, ''psychologist''.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm doing both, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Psychriatrist gives you the medicines, and psychologists are the people who are like therapists that you talk to.
 '''Chris:''' Ohhhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhh. Okay, now I get it.
 '''Kacey:''' This is simple stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well you see, I did not know that. I did not know that. That's new to me, so I learned that, and I'm going to keep that in my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, they have different degrees, and different areas of study.
 '''Chris:''' I see
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, are you still on any medications at all?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, I'm taking Lipitor to try to keep my cholesterol maintained , but it's like, you know, my cholesterol wasn't really that high, but, you know, when I started Lipitor, I just felt, uh, I just felt, you know, it'd probably be a good step to keep it down.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, uh, did your doctor recommend that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, McGovern recommended the, uh, Lipitor. He, as like an optional thing, but, you know, if you want to it's a good idea. So, yeah, so, I've been taking Lipitor for, I don't know, a few years now.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(mortified)'' But, you're- you're twenty-seven. That's not something you should worry about at twenty-seven.
 '''Chris:''' Cholesterol.
 '''Kacey:''' But- that- you don't get it. most twenty-seven year olds don't have to worry about that. That's for- old people who can't help it.
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, yeah, but this was like a few years ago when I was threatened over bad cholesterol and trying to maintain it, along with exercise. ''(stress sigh)'' Yeah, I don't remember that conversation very well.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should just start eating healthier. I mean, I don't really know what you eat, but, obviously if you're on Lipitor when you're twenty-seven- I mean. What do you eat?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mostly I eat like, mostly I eat like chicken sand- or-
 '''Kacey:''' From where? Chicken sandwiches you ''make'', or, from where?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, you know, like from, grilled chicken sandwiches like from McDonald's or IHOP-
 '''Kacey:''' You know that just because it's grilled doesn't mean that it's good for you. '''Chris:''' Well it's better than crispy
 '''Kacey:''' It, it doesn't matter. It's still bad for you. I mean, that's like saying- I don't even know. That's like saying that,um, eating a gallon of ice cream is better than eating a whole cake, because the ice cream has dairy.
 '''Chris:''' I never heard that before.
 '''Kacey:''' That's 'cause I just made it up.
 '''Chris:''' ''[chuckles]'' Oh, you just made it up. Oh. Okay. You just made it up.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep. Ha, I mean, but this isn't funny. You- you could- that shows a serious problem, you could be, uh, you could '''die''' from this.
 '''Chris:''' ''(long pause)'' Uh, well, if you suggest it then I could stop taking the Lipitor and uh-
 '''Kacey:''' '''NO! NO! NO!''' I mean if you're on it, you're on it for a reason! You need to stop eating all that fast food, I mean, how much, okay, you've got to eat something other than chicken sandwiches. What else do you eat?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, I eat- I eat- I eat salads.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, salad doesn't always mean healthy. I mean, what do you put on the salads? Do you put tons of dressing on it? Is there meat on it? Is there, uh- where do you get the salads from?
 '''Chris:''' It's basically just like lettuce, tomato, carrots, some cheese-
 '''Kacey:''' You see, that's where they get you, they put cheese on salads, I mean, where do you get these salads from?
 '''Chris:''' ''(pause)'' Yeah, they're like side salads from [[Wendy's]] or McDonald's.
 '''Kacey:''' Those- those aren't healthy, Chris. Just 'cause it says ''salad'', that- no!
 '''Chris:''' (''protesting'') It comes with- it comes with real vegetables!
 '''Kacey:''' It- but just because it- okay, but do you put any dressing on it?
 '''Chris:''' I do not put dressing on the salad.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that's- that's good and all, but still- I mean there's gonna come a point where even this medicine's not going to help you. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' Um,you're talking about the Lipitor, right? That's not gonna be good for me?
 '''Kacey:''' No, I mean there- there gets to a point where even modern medicine cannot help you because you've destroyed your body so much.
 '''Chris:''' ''(long pause)'' Oh, so much more stuff for me to talk to my doctor about.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't talk to you about this already! I mean, don't you read the nutritional facts? They have to be on fast food now.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, okay, do you eat anything that does '''not''' come from a fast food restaurant?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah, I sometimes, sometimes I buy food from the grocery store.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, like what? What do you have, like do you eat lean meat? Do you have fresh vegetables? Or is it just stuff like Hungry Man dinners and pizza?
 '''Chris:''' Once or twice, in like a- in like a month I have like a Hungry Man.
 '''Kacey:''' You know those things are awful for you, right? You know that they have like- one hundred per- like, they have like a '''thousand percent''' sodium, and tons of calories.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but mostly I have- mostly I eat like Healthy Choice- I- mostly I would eat Healthy- it, uh- of the frozen dinner varieties, I would eat Healthy Choice.
 '''Kacey:''' Even then those are bad for you, 'cause of all the preservatives. I mean, they have to have them, because it's not fresh. I mean- okay, that- is that all you eat, I mean, how many of those do you eat a week, 'cause you should only be eating them once a month at most, and even then that can hurt you.
 '''Chris:''' (''stress sigh'')
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, I'm sorry, I mean, this is- this is what I'm going to do. I'm gonna help people with this, that's why I'm trying to get fit myself, just, y-y- wow!
 '''Chris:''' I mean I'm tryin' to remember my, uh- I'm tryin' to remember some of the, uh, eating schedule from the past, like, month, er, from the past, like, month.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, okay, well can you cook things?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I can cook.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what? Like, okay, name the things that you can cook, but only if you cooked them for yourself and ate them within the last month.
 '''Chris:''' (''thinking hard to himself'') Within the last month. I can- I can cook the- I can cook vegetables in the, uh- '''Kacey:''' Like what? pot. Like green beans. Corn.
 '''Kacey:''' What do you cook them in?
 '''Chris:''' I put 'em- I put 'em in like- a pot- like a pot, with some water, and put them in the- I put them in the- on top of the oven.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but are they fresh vegetables or are they canned?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they're canned.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that has tons of sodium too, Chris! It's all the hidden stuff. I mean, you need to get some fresh produce. I need to take you to like a farmer's market or something.
 '''Chris:''' (''coughs or something'') Excuse me. Yeah, I guess you probably- I guess you probably do. I dunno, er, I mean- I mean- (''pause'') that's a lot for me- that's a lot for me to think about right there.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, this sounds like eating habits that means, you know- '''this is why people don't live past thirty or forty.''' You know that, right? I mean, do you at least- do you exercise, um, you know, to ''balance'' it? I mean, like, I know you said we were going to go jogging, but, um, how often do you exercise, and what do you do? Do you do cardio?
 '''Chris:''' I do exercise. I walk about- I walk about a half-hour to an hour a day, (''pause'') around the neighborhood.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you know, you need to get your cardio up, you need to break into a jog or something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that's pretty strenuous. I- I- I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' No, it's not strenuous, your body should be used to this! You- you just need to get you heart-rate up... to a certain beat-per-minute. I mean, just power-walking would work. How are you going to go jogging with me if it's so 'strenuous'?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, maybe I was exaggerating when I said strenuous. Hmm, but, yeah, mostly, yeah, it's, I mean, I'm just sayin' mostly I- mostly I do walk. And sometimes I do speed it up a little bit.
 '''Kacey:''' See, this is the stuff that I- this is why I want to become a nurse, 'cause I see people doing stuff like this and I want to help them, because this stuff- it hurts me on the inside.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' I- I can't stand to see someone hurt their body so much.
 '''Chris:''' (''long pause'') Yeah, I hear ya. I do. (''pause'') Yeah. I'm like one that needs help in this sorta thing.
 '''Kacey:''' (''long pause'') Okay, well I'm- I'm gonna go, I've gotta finish up some homework.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'll let you go.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, um, I'll send an e-mail, um, with, you know, some books and stuff and maybe, you know, a couple recipes and stuff. Um, you know, I'll just send you an all-around e-mail, so, can you, uh, check that? I'll- I'll send it in a minute. I'm just gonna send you some links.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, okay, well then, I'll talk to you later!
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Take care.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye. 
'''(''call ends'')'''

==External links==
*<strike>mp3 of phonecall</strike> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 5]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 7]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Homos

2014-07-25T16:30:07Z

Ty Delle: /* Evidence that Chris might be gay */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; Vaginas and Boobies Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|I put a condom on the dildo and actually did put it up my, uh, A-hole. Uh...and uh, in my humble opinion, it just did not feel right to me. And uh, the anal beads, I just put 'em in there and they were, it's like... in. Not so stiff. So it was just that one time, then they got covered in poo, and I just, I put them in the trash can.|Chris.<ref>[[BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3]]</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people'''. He uses this term almost exclusively. He also occasionally uses phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", presumably because even saying the word "homo" makes him somewhat uncomfortable.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|STAY STRAIGHT]]" have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a [[Tomgirl|gender change operation]]."|Chris. <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: He is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating education|Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to prevent people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt (and fail) to wildly assert his straightness, using anything from [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a poster of Sailor Moon]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic the Hedgehog|one of his own abominations]].]]

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy where all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostituites, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain Herr Himmler had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

{{quote|[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.|Chris, 2 January 2009, 12:01.}}

On [[CWC Update 18 February 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[Gal pal|gal pals]] and his [[List of Chris's sweethearts|sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|10 March 2009]] Chris was [[Chris and religion|reciting verses from the Bible]] to justify his position against homos.

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), an author of several blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] [[Kim]]'s boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris. <ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Chris sees no problem waving around his degenerate sexuality and showcasing real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496</ref>

{{quote|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Wikipedia: Sonderbehandlung|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter feed onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting it off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be [[Chris and the Law|arrested and fined heavily.]]

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[CWCville|Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]].

On the February 5th, 2012 entry on his [[Facebook_statuses|Facebook page]], he mentions buying Napoleon Dynamite because he learned 'that homo Andy Dick' didn't star in it.

In a [[Facebook]] post on March 29th, 2013, Chris threw a tantrum over media coverage of homosexual unions. Ironically, he showed support towards lesbian couplings, which would totally defeat the purpose of his [[sweetheart]] search since that would mean he'd have even ''more'' competition for single women.

In early 2014, the Court of Virginia legalized gay marriage. It has however been appealed. Chris has yet responded.

==Views on lesbianism==

Whereas Chris' discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have vacillated. In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed as a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with male friends all the time. As the work serves as a backstory to the villanous [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Terrah may have served as a fictional parallel to the endless accusations of homosexualty lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[Creepy stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight [[Christian Weston Chandler|Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a [[CWC "Boyfriend"|rambling and nonsensical video]] to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersprses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

{{quote|
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me!
Hey, you! Hey, you!
You need to be straight, girl!
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your boyfriend! }}

Later, Chris would begin to revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Cwcipedia: Sonichu]</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> Chris most likely shoehorned a lesbian character into ''Sonichu'' to appear more tolerant, although his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In [[Mumble 1]], Chris declares his support for lesbians and reiterates his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating how he hates [[JERKS]] in general, and how a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris supports lesbians solely because women are beautiful and men are icky.

{{quote|Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

{{quote|Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.|Chris, [[Mumble 1]]}}

On 28 [[March 2013]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook#Gay Marriage |Facebook message]] whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's [[:wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Proposition 8]] and [[:wikipedia:United States v. Windsor|DOMA]] deliberations. In it, he reiterates his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

== Chris and transgender topics ==

[[Image:Die-cis-scum.jpg|thumb|right|Likelier than you think.]]

Chris has stated that, if he were to find himself experiencing pervasive same-sex attraction, he would undergo sex reassignment, so as to become a heterosexual woman, as opposed to a gay man.<ref>[[Mumble 1]] "I'd sooner have a sex change before I would ever turn into a homo."</ref> (Note: He may have changed his position some time later.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]] "In his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely not be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever."</ref>) This implies that Chris considers trans women to be legitimately female, an uncharacteristically positive stance on an LGBT issue for Chris. ([[Wikipedia:Transphobia|Transphobic]] people believe that one's assigned sex is unchangeable and consider trans men and trans women "pseudo-men" and "pseudo-women," respectively. By contrast, pro-trans individuals consider one's volitional gender identity to be legitimate regardless of one's assigned sex. Surprisingly enough, Chris seems to take the latter view.) Further, if the [[Tomgirl Saga]] is any indication, Chris himself may be [[Wikipedia:Genderqueer|genderqueer]]. During the aforementioned saga, Chris stated that "tomboys" and "tomgirls" ought to be allowed to use the restroom which matches their gender identity. A bona fide transgender activist might agree with such a sentiment.

==Evidence that Chris might be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't fail at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat sum lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies ([[Recycling|and eats imaginary man asses]]).}}

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png|thumb|Totally not gay at all.]]
[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png|thumb|''One... eyebrow.'']]

Ironically, the harder Chris [[I am STRAIGHT|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the gayer he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would [[Tomgirl|rather be female]] than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Call 1|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* In the chat where [[Julie Reveals Herself]], when [[Bluespike|Max]] told Chris to suck his dick, Chris asked, "How can I do yours if I'm all the way over here?" instead of simply saying "No." Also, later on in the same chat, Chris attempted to show Max his [[Duck|duck]] when the latter began to taunt him with claims that he had a [[China|pussy.]] While you might be thinking that it's a typical knee-jerk reaction from Chris, an [[Julie_Reveals_Herself:_The_Prequel|earlier chat]] reveals a part where Chris ''offers'' to show Max his dick.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* Chris once drew [[Sonichu]], a male character, on his [[duck]].
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* According to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|receipts]] uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for anal beads as a gift with an order of pornography. Chris, however, lied, claiming that the anal beads as well as a vibrator were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. Chris kept said vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man (or a 'gaybian'). He later issued a retraction, which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* When [[Julie_Reveals_Herself|Julie finally revealed herself]] as a [[pedofork|13 year old boy]], Chris's immediate response was "I did not know you were a 13 year old!" making it sound like he's shocked by the age but not the least bit concerned about the fact that he's a boy.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|close-up picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] i.e. hair clips, i.e women's fashion accessories.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving all the characters a [[Wikipedia:Queer Eye|free makeover]].
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from the virus, implying that Chris is "infected" with homosexuality if his blood could be used to make a vaccine.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.
* In the above same Trollin Train post he mentioned achieving [[Semen|Comeuppance]] before vomiting, indicating he had an erection, and thus was sexually aroused from being sodomized by a man.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Punchylaylalove.jpg wearing panties and a bra].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He [[Tomgirl|voluntarily dressed up as a woman]], went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals and vice-versa, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public. When [[Bob]] learned of Chris's crossdressing, his immediate response was to call him a "fag".
* On the 29th April, 2012, Chris 'reveals' that the gay camp experience story he made up as [[JenkinsJinkies]] was a fake. Aside from the fact that [[Naive|absolutely nobody fell for this at all]], it does leave this question: Out of all of the stories that Chris could have made up under a fake identity, why did he go with one where he gets sodomized at [[Pedofork|seven]]?
* [[It%27s_not_that_cold|This video]], where Chris infamously says, "Would you fuck me, 789chan? I'd fuck me." Take note that Chris is dressed in a mini-skirt and hikes it up to reveal his grotesque man ass at the camera, indicating that he'd like to be taken from behind.
* Whenever anyone calls Chris out on his [[Women's rights|objectification of women's bodies]], he is always quick to back-pedal and say he appreciates women more for their personalities, unaware that personalities are the key reason for relationships between gay men and their female friends.
* Chris created a modified version of the song "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There" from ''The Boondocks'' called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]". However, the character who sings the original song is Uncle Ruckus, a self-loathing black man. This makes Chris look like a self-loathing homosexual.
*The fact that he uses the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to keep himself straight, implies he has homosexual thoughts and fantasies that he wants to keep in check. The irony of the fact that he thinks staring hard enough at a poster of a gay icon will magically suppress these homoerotic urges is lost on him.
* After [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] became Chris's equal and opposite as the result of the latter's brief immersion in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], he turned openly gay. One would think that this logically means Chris is straight, except for the fact that it's made clear that the two differ only in their openness, not their homosexuality.
* Chris posted an absurd riddle on [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook]] containing random pictures, containing Mark Cuban, lemon cake, Delaware Blue Hens and the sphynx. It's worth noted that :
**[http://i.imgur.com/oKAtnAo.jpg Mark Cuban] is gay.
**Lemon Cake is often dyed rainbow in [http://i.imgur.com/qy1U14g.jpggay pride festivals].
**Delaware is one of the only states to uphold [http://i.imgur.com/YVAnfl9.jpg gay marriage].
**Hens often exhibit homosexuality, and there's a game called [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20chicken Gay Chicken].
**And the sphynx is also a breed of cat. A breed of cat that's [http://i.imgur.com/uBwdEdz.jpg really gay].
* In 2012, Chris signed in the [[CWCki Forums]] as "paintingatree". The term "Painting The Tree" is an [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Painting%20the%20tree act of oral sex], which may refer to Chris's [[duck]].
* Chris posted a picture on [[Facebook#I_got_new_shoes|Facebook]] showing his new shoes. Note the gay pink laces and it looks like sneakers worn for women.
* Chris posted a pointless picture on [[Facebook#One_Eyebrow|Facebook]], showing his eyebrow. Note that it's '''eyebrow''' and not '''eyebrows''', as [http://www.discodamaged.com/2010/12/lesbians-to-grown-on-eyebrow.html lesbians are proposing to grow one eyebrow on Decembrow].
* Chris pierced his right ear (twice), a common code for homosexuality.
* Chris wrote a [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook post]] comparing Tabitha St. Germaine to Judy Garland, a gay icon.
* Attempting to prove that [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] is a separate identity, Chris favorited and commented on a number of gay [[pedofork]] [[anime]]s on [[Youtube]].

==Defenses against becoming a homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[Sex toys|vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs as an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one needs not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women not to drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: He covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (We can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].

Considering the large amount of blatantly homoerotic activities Chris has engaged in, it's a safe bet to say he's a self-hating closeted homosexual, and no amount of defenses will stop the man-child's suppressed urges.

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[Tomgirl]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007

2014-07-25T03:53:13Z

Ty Delle: /* Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails exchanged by [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] from August through December [[2007]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Adam Stackhouse wins, Chris is a horrible cheater and likes Megan "so much"===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Fri, 3 Aug 2007 9:08:40 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Well, I'm emotionally busted... :(

I just learned that I am not the [[Adam Stackhouse|winner]] of the [[PaRappa]] [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Chop Chop Master Onion Contest]]; among their ten [[videos]], they were organized Alphabetically (I checked the html source, and that explained why I was number 7. Anyway, that lucky jerk, admstackhouse (assumed to be his e-mail name), gets to go to Seattle. That SOB should have really been disqualified; his dance was supposed to be MUSIC-FREE, yet he has some s***y beatbox noises in the background throughout his video (so did two others).

I am [[Chris and Anger|Angry]], Depressed and Lonesome ALL SIMULTANEOUSLY. I worked so d*** hard; I sent like over 500 messages between [[MySpace]], [[PSN|Playstation Network]] and AOL. And I even made up over 120 dummy e-mail accounts to match with their dummy Playstation accounts, so I could stuff the f***in' ballot...

I really wanted to take you somewhere fun and exciting so you and I could be together for longer than usual...and I really wanted to give you and [[John]] each a [[PSP]]... *sigh* I've failed. So much effort...rappin' and dancin' with goofy effects to be even considered...spreading the word as far and wide as possible...wasted. And I did it all for you, Megan; I had you in my heart as I chopped the Onion A-La Mode dance...I gave so much energy, even had a gut virus for a couple of days...crazy I guess.

Anyway, I'm not in such a delighful mood at this time; it may take a few days or so for me to recover...then again, you make me feel happy...I just realized that you were and still are a continuing inspiration for me. I looked at you in our photo ever since you left for Kentucky, and I get a happy feeling... from the feeling of having you to fall on when I feel low. You are such a delightful listener, and you are truly intelligent when you talk about what interests you and such. I am so delighted to have you in my life, and I appreciate you everyday. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Oh, so what if I didn't win that trip; I still can look forward to being able to coming over to your house, or you to mine, sometime. And I will get to see you at least on Fridays (although I'd like to be able to be with you much more than that). I like you so much, Megan.

As for the what happened at [[the Game Place]]; it was so-so, and I didn't get any [[Soul Calibur]] [[cards]] today. Although from my monthly tugboat, I did get the new [[Guitar Hero]] game and the PS1 classic, [[Wikipedia:UmJammer Lammy|UmJammer Lammy]], some ink for my printer, a bunch of slim cd and [[DVD]] cases and a 4GB memory stick duo.

Although I'm certain you have oodles of stories of your days in Kentucky, and I truly look forward to listening to you telling me about them. :)

Thank you, Megan, for being my continuing inspiration. I hope you all are doing well, and I await your safe and sound return. Take care.

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris hopes to make Adam Stackhouse lose by a loophole in the rules===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sun, 5 Aug 2007 8:13:34 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

Yesterday, after some rest, I still felt [[Chris and Anger|anger]] and resentment against that [[Adam Stackhouse|lucky S.O.B. winner]]. But I have found two faults in his video that were against the official rules; there was music, and there was more than one person in the video. I also found three more out of the remaining nine with the similar violations. I have sent some e-mails among the Playstation consumer services, and I have called the company personally and registered my grand complaint. It's not a matter of jealousy or loss; it's the principal of rule violations. Justice will be done to the seven people involved in the four violating videos, or I am not [[Autism|Autistic]].

Anyway, I wanted to let you know about that. I hope you all are still doing well in Kentucky, and I will truly feel so much better when I see you personally in front of me [[Chris and sex|safe and sound]]. :)

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan. <3<3<3}}

===Megan is annoyed and creeped out===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Sent: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 12:42 am 
Subject: .....

Christian-

I haven't been checking my email until recently, and I just want to say that your [[Chris and psychology|behavior has irritated me]] for the last time. First I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|contest]] because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me. I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be. When I say "don't touch me" that means DON'T TOUCH ME! What may seem friendly to you is [[Fuck Quest|sexual harrassment]] to me. You whine that you're just being friendly but you obviously have no consideration for my feelings. The way you went off on Nina because she patted me on the head was very rude and uncalled for. Just because someone else has made physical contact with me doesn't give you the authority to do so. Remember, I have the right to decide who can come near me.

Also I can't say I like how you used my photo in your video and on the cover of your comic book. I want them removed from the internet immediately. Since I'm not a myspace member I can't view what you post. If there are any photos of me on your blog I want them removed.

And I don't like your [[Megan Shrine|"Megan Obsession"]] I don't like being [[Sailor Megtune|a character]] in your [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]]. I don't like how you made me a character in [[Soul Calibur|Soulcalibur]] and [[Animal Crossing]]. That kind of behavior really freaks me out.

With all that said, we're down to two options: 
A: We remain friends and ONLY friends period. As in no more touching me, following me, asking me personal questions, and giving me things. We can still battle and trade cards and talk. 
-or- 
B: Never see me again

I'm sorry it's come down to this but I've told you repeatedly in a nice way to stop, but you've never listened.

I hope you will finally take what I just said into serious consideration, and know now that if try your advances again I won't be very nice about it.

Please listen to me next time 
~Megan}}

===Shit hits the fan, Chris confesses his love===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Tue, 7 Aug 2007 2:51:47 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: OUCH....My Heart...

Megan, sweetie, [[List of Chris's lies|I NEVER said anything about you being my "girlfriend"]]; in the video, I said, "The only song I know is 'Master Onion' which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend, Megan. I truly care about your feelings, and I am 500 times sorry... :_( I meant what all I did when I talk about you to be complimentive and flattering, not the contrary. I was only trying to make you happy.

I NEVER meant any [[Chris and rape|"sexual harrassment"]]; granted that [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|I have had one or two fantasies before]], but I sincerely would NEVER intentionally do anything of the sort to you without your consent. You mean SOOOOOO much to me... As youu are aware, I'm guessing, I do not have many [[gal pal|gal-pals]] in or around [[Charlottesville]], and I treasure having you in my life, and as my closest, sweetest friend I could ever have in this one-hores, [[Virgina is for Virgins|VIRGIN-ONLY STATE]]. If I lost you... it would [[Heart level|TOTALLY SHATTER my heart]], my soul, my being. I CAN NOT AFFOARD to lose you; I need you. Having you in my life, and as my gal-pal, is essentally wkat keeps me from reverting to a sad, lonely, depressed, apocolyptic state, like I have expierenced before when that witch of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], SHATTERED MY HEART AND SOUL when I was searching for a [[boyfriend-free girl|BOYFRIEND-FREE]], caring, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], [[Alcohol|non-alcoholic]], white girl to be my friend, and over time maybe grow into a [[sweetheart|SWEETHEART]]. Even right now, as I type this E-mail, I feel like I have been torn vertically into two, and I am typing on a keyboard that has been turned upwardly crooked from being banged against a raised knee... It really hurts...

I will remove the video from the [[internet]] soon as per your request, and I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want you and me to still be friends. And as much as I truly understand how you feel about romance and love, I can't deny the feelings in my heart... I MISSED YOU SOOOOO MUCH; I would look at our [[Chris and religion|sacred photo]] every night, and I would feee soooo much happier, because I have you as my one-and-only, single-solitary, once-in-a-lifetime-like, gal-pal. And I would wonder how you were getting along and faring in Kentucky, and I would hope to get to see you again in front of me soon... Megan... [[Love Quest|I love ou]].

I gotta go.

Faithfully yours; Christian W. Chandler.}}

===Chris begs Megan not to leave him===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 11:55 am 
Subject: Hey.

I took care of the video; I edited the original video by removing the pic, then I uploaded the new to repace the old. So your face is not in there anymore.

I was depressed ALL DAY from those harsh words, but I'm not blaming you. I can only guess something unexpected happened that wasn't in favor. I apologize if I have offended you in any way. Please don't leave me, Sweet Friend, Megan.

Faithfully yours;

Chris Chan.}}

===Chris says he's not angry or jealous of Adam Stackhouse anymore===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 3:46 pm 
Subject: I now understand.

I understand the possible irriation from being touched, but I now realize what may have set off the [[Chris and Anger|burst of anger]]. It was because of my immature behavior (with jealousy) over the winner of that contest, wasn't it? I wanted you to know that I have honestly given up on that erronious behavior. I do apologize for having expressed that anger, and I offer a peaceful [[rainbow]] as my promise to not get jealous and express such anger again.

You, Megan, truly are an inspiration for the better, even a neccessary "better half", for me. I thank you for leading me toward the light of better judgement.

I hope to see you again soon. <3<3<3<3

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan. :)}}

===Chris continues to beg Megan not to leave===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Mon, 13 Aug 2007 8:27:50 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey...How you doing?

It's been a while, and I haven't heard anything from you. So I thought I would check in.

I can only imagine what your may be feeling from the recent trauma. I truly care and worry about you. I wanted you to know that I blurted out my confession, because [[Heart level|my heart was hit so bad]], that it [[Sex doll|sprung a leak]]... it leaked pain, torment and the deep feelings I had held in for so long. *sigh*

I can't apologize enough for hurting you the way I did with my jealously over the [[Adam Stackhouse|rule-violating winner]], for my lonely, [[Chris and sex|wandering hands]] wanting to feel your gentle, and spunky, soul, for figiting over such trivial gestures that some others were permitted to share with you, whereas you wouldn't permit me to for your reasons... Not knowing your current feelings, not knowing what else is going on in your world, not knowing if you and I are still the closest friends to have been for almost two whole years... is all a great weight on my still-recovering heart and my tearful soul... It's hard for me to enjoy things as I did while I knew you and I were sweet friends, and as I felt there could have been a strong foundation for my one bright future in this [[Autism|cursed Autistic life]]. But since I read that message last week and not having heard anything new from you, my faith for that future felt sooo lost; my faith in our friendship wained thin.

[[Virgin with rage|I CAN'T LOSE YOU, Megan Schroeder]], you are the foundation of my happiness after the depression from my LONG, ENDURING [[Love Quest]], you are the inspiration for me to carry on as I was able to for the past greater than a year and so on, you were the reason that I was able to shed fewest tears for that time.

Please, please, please, forgive me, let me know that you and I are still the closest friends, and don't deprive you and me of our fun by boycotting the Friday trips to [[the Game Place]].

Truly, I just would fall into an infinite sink-hole of depression if I lost you from my life, and it would be an unbearable tragedy... *sigh*

Please reply as soon as possible.

<3<3<3.....<3........<.....3................

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

===Chris talks about another contest and his ENDURING LOVE QUEST===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Subject: Hey, Megan 
Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 10:09 pm 
Attachments: Patti-Chan_Folklore_plus_details.jpg (238K), Patti-Chan_Folklore.jpg (111K)

I didn't get a chance to tell you, but it was truly good to see that you all got back safe from Kentucky...I truly did miss you. Also it is a weight off my shoulders to hear from you that we are still good friends.

Anyhoo, how did John do in his Mechanics class; what was his grade and such? How was your stay in Kentucky? And have you been practicing your [[Guitar]] skills on your PS2? *I hope you got better. :)

Also, a few weeks ago, I learned about the Folklore Create-A-Creature contest on the Playstation website; make up a unique creature suitable for the Fantasy world of the upcoming [[PS3]] game, write up the details of the character and send in the .jpg file. Five will be chosen, among whom will win a copy of the PS3 game and a matching artwork book, and Only One will be programmed into a upcoming Downloable-from-the-Playstation-Store Add-On where the creature will be catchable and playable in the game. Simply put, I sent in [[Patti-Chan]] (see image below). Speaking of [[Patti]], cute-like story, it was June 27, 2007, the date of the first year anniversary since her [[Chris and English|accent]] to heaven. On that date, neither of us realizing the anniversary yet, but my mother talked about going to the local SPCA building and adopting a new dog. That night, I realized it upon a Random Remembering, and I cried for a while, so did my mother after I had informed her. But we did realize that we talked about adopting a new dog on the date of the first anniversary. Bless her soul.

Well, like I said, I will be returing to the [[University of Virginia|UVA's Alderman Library]] twice a week starting Sept. 4 to resume my Sweetheart Search (AKA [[Love Quest]]). *sigh* It will be lonely, torturing and enduring like it has been in the past, but I have my dream of a lil' [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. And the movies and games on my PSP will give me something else to think about as I go back to wishin', hopin', and prayin' to be found by an "18-25-Year Old, caring, sweet, smoke-free, non-alcoholic, white girl" (hopefully a virgin) "to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up". And at the end of each lonely wait, I will quote my old [[random access humor|joke]] of a commercial, "Call Right Now, and we'll send you a Beautiful Girlfriend FREE". Then I will pretend to call RIGHT NOW, and always get BUPKIS. *sigh* Whatever.

One more thing, while I'm thinking about it, are you finished with the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Ranger|Pok'emon Ranger]] DS game yet, because I still remember our deal?

Well, take care you all; I'll see you all again next Friday.

Your Friend; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan is going to give Chris some stuff, appreciates him backing off===
{{quoteboxred|
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Subject: hey 
Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2007 5:37 pm

That's odd...according to my yahoo sent items folder it was sent. 
It pretty much said how I had all the unwanted cards. And I am looking for 3 cards now since you somehow figured out Revenant was on that list as well. Dang you're good! The [[Wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS cards]] I'm looking for are these: Manas & Ayas (note I think the card spells it "Ayus" which is different from the game's spelling) It's from the first SC expansion Voldo (from the first exp. 4 dots, standing upright, arms crossed) Voldo (a promo card, back facing us, butt visible, the image is an official namco drawing) And I'm also really looking for ANYTHING on the StreetFighter character [[Wikipedia:Vega (Street Fighter)|Vega]]. And one more thing, a Promo card of R. Mika. (I think the picture- she has her arms in the air.) And that's it. I hope you get lucky! Not saying you would but please don't start a R.Mika deck...I worked hard and hate being copied. You stick with the Greek Girls!

I also said how I'm doing a major room clean and can give you things I don't want. I'm still finding more stuff but so far I have: 
Absolute Boyfriend poster 
figurine of Primera from the series [[Wikipedia:Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle|Tsubasa Chronicle]] 
[[Wikipedia:Tokyo Boys & Girls|Tokyo Boys and Girls]] vol.1 (manga) 
[[Wikipedia:Someday's Dreamers|Someday's Dreamers: Spellbound]] vol.1 (manga) 
a [[My Little Pony]] badge/button/pin thing 
Some more extra [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] cards

I'm sure I'll find more stuff, let me know if you want any and all of the above. In exchange for whatever cards you find or something Still haven't played SCIII <nowiki>*sigh</nowiki>...I'll get around to it soon...

Let me know and thanks!

~Megan

PS I also said thank you for finally understanding and giving me space and toning down your affections. Even so I also said that you are still my good friend and take everything you've given me and done with great appreciation.}}

===Chris talks about cards and how lonely he is===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Subject: Re: hey 
Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2007 11:24 pm 
Okay, here's the summary:

UFS SC Set 1 FOIL UR SR Manas & Ayas 
UFS New UR SR Promo Foil R Mika 
From same Vendor for total of $8.25 
UFS Street Fighter Vega SF02 092/126 
From another Vendor for a total of $4 
UFS Street Fighter VEGA'S CLAW SF02...096/126 Rare 
From another for a total of $3.99 
UFS Street Fighter FOIL Vega SF1P****06/12 PROMO 
UFS Soulcalibur III FOIL Voldo SC3P****14/16 PROMO 
UFS Soulcalibur III FOIL Voldo SC01****091/143 URARE 
From Paladin Game and Hobbies for a total of $10.72

Which totals to (rounded up) $27, and with the $4 from Revenants, that makes it $31. Although I would feel better with a total cash settlement (or installments totaling to), I will take off $18 for your listed merchandise in your recent e-mail, taking the total down to $13. Also, for your information, you have mentioned the Revenant card in your e-mail from your Yahoo address you sent on the 30th of Sept. And as for the whole toning down the affections thing... in a nutshell, yes that's what I did... but I had to redirect them towards going back to my Sweetheart Search... Until I am found by a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] who can and is willing to grow into my sweetheart, (since I have no new special someone to call upon yet) I am finding myself still [[Mass debating|silently calling]] for you when I'm feeling lonely... Quite the quandry. 
Anyhoo, I will let you know of any updates, or I will read your reply.

Take care; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Megan also talks about cards===
{{quoteboxred|
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Subject: Re: hey 
Date: Tue, 2 Oct 2007 10:53 am

Thank you very much. I will bring you the 13$ and merchandise this friday. Thank you for finding these cards I never find what I'm looking for too often.

I will also bring the lot of girl cards and I hope to find the rest of the cassandras as well. Can you list me the holos you have and I'll tell you ahead what I'm interested in. Only list what you're willing to trade. And when you list found/act/attk please write beside- the character they go with like Despair-Voldo. 
Thanks so much again! See you soon!

~Megan}}
===Chris talks about Crocs and how he was kicked out of the library for soliciting sex===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Subject: Just wanted to warn John... 
Date: Thu, 4 Oct 2007 8:37 pm

I've just learned on the [[Wikipedia:John_Tesh#John_Tesh_Radio_Show|John Tesh Radio Show]] that people who wear [[Wikipedia:Crocs|Croc Shoes]] on escelators are having their toes, toenails gnashed, torn off or worse. If he is in an area where there is an escelator, encourage him to use an elevator or stairs.

I have not received the cards yet, nor have I been able to get that second [[Wikipedia:Manaphy#Manaphy|Manaphy]] egg yet. I've had a surprise Tuesday while I was sittin' at the [[University of Virginia|Alderman Library]] (waitin' to be found by a Boyfriend-Free girl). Some old hag and her bodyguard approached me and made it obvious that it was verbodden to find True Love there. Who did she think she was; the wife of the Pope? I disregarded her intrusion, but I am cautious about the possibility of another clash of battle, like in the past with that Witch of [[PVCC]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], that [[Jerkief]] at [[Fashion Square]] and the [[Manajerks]] at [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]]. Unlike Tuesday and the previous events, I am much saltier than I was.

I will never fall for the FALSE Law of True Love searching and sharing being illegal in the State of Virginia, or in short "[[Virginia is for Virgins]]," nor will I quit chillin' at the Library's Lounge Tuesdays and Thursdays with a printed advertisement in the neighborhood.

But I digress. I will see you at the Game Place tomorrow.

Take Care; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Megan is pissed that Chris is nosing in her business===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 21 Oct 2007 4:24 am 
Subject: what's up?

Christian I can probably understand how you're feeling. You looked [[Chris and anger|pretty pissed]].....not to mention giving my friend the "[[:Image:FuckYouTito.jpg|fucky finger]]".

Why? Why do you hate him so much? Cause now he's really scared that you're going to go after him and kill him!

Besides if you have to hate someone, it should be me because I'M the one who didn't return your feelings and didn't want a serious relationship. Remember I have [[Women's Rights|the right]] to decide who I want to be with. Now I'm not saying that I hate you. You are still my friend....that is if you're going to stop keep getting grudges and tormenting my friend. You're hatred and jealousy towards him is affecting me as well. How do I know you're not going to do something rash? So please just leave us alone.

I'd like for you to just accept this and move on. You have no right to hate him, he did nothing bad to you! Personally I thought you'd actually be happy for me. So please listen to me and please don't do anything bad and just leave Chris alone.

Please get back to me 
~Megan}}

===Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10:26 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: I'm sorry... <nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

The hugging was one thing, but when I heard the smack of your kiss on his cheek, it started a chain reaction in my head from "OMG" to simultanious infuration and jealousy. I assure you that I would not do anything extreme to Christopher.

Originally, I was not fond of him, because it was obvious that he was a [[homos|homo]]. Yes, I am a [[Bigotry|homophobe]]; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation. I've seen [[Wikipedia:Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina|the episode]] of "[[South Park]]" where [[Wikipedia:Herbert Garrison|Mr. Garrison]] had that operation; they showed the [[Nudes|gruesome details]]. ugh...

I was programmed to be more favorable towards women over those of my gender. With the infinitely high Boyfriend-Factor, I am not fond of about 99.999999999996% of the total male population, with a margin-of-error of the 4 billionth of a percent (for about 100 men) of whom are okay acquaintences. Those doofs get all the luck, having a Sweetheart to care for and to be cared from, getting all the hugs, kisses and e motional support and the security of a solid future without lonliness and with love and children. And besides that, my [[Autism]] is not much help on the programming of my mind. *sigh*

Oh, my life.

I have been trying to move on, but I still have caring feelings for you, Megan, since I still have not found another Boyfriend-Free woman to transfer the care to. I sit at the UVA's Alderman library for Three Hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with a printed advertisement taped on the bar-type furniture across from me, and I am waiting, hoping and praying to be found/picked up by a Boyfriend-Free, 18-25-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcholic, white woman, who will voluntarily be my Gal-Pal to Girlfriend to Sweetheart. Can you understand the loneliness I feel from days and days of not even being approached by a caring someone while I wait and wait and wait to be found by a caring someone? Not only is it Very Lonesome, but it is Tiresome, Troubling and Frustrating... *sigh* It's been that way since the beginning of my Sweetheart Search in August, 2003. Granted the relieving heart poundings I felt for you for over a year, until the e-mail I received during the Parappa contest last August.

But rest-assured, aside from the past issues and angst against the males of the Boyfriend-Factor, I, Christian Christopher Weston Chandler, have not and will not ever have any intention of killing or murdering or physically ensue pain towards any person, including your Christopher.

I am sorry about Friday night, Megan.

Take care; Christian Christopher Weston Chandler.}}

===Megan had it worse in school===
{{quoteboxred|
From: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Cc: pearl3 <fourdogs4@sitestar.net> 
Subject: ok 
Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 5:18 pm

Ok, thanks for the reassurance. Yes I can understand your lonliness because I was the same way...worse maybe. I mean you actually had friends through school. I didn't have any friends at all. I was treated very badly by everyone. To the point where I had to drop out and graduate through homeschool.

I still want you to know that you are still my friend. And I am grateful for everything you've done. When I look through my huge book of Sailormoon cards, I'm almost to tears because YOU were the reason it has grown into a magnificent collection! :) I appreciate everything you've done and given me. Thank you.

I'm still not interested in marriage though. It's not my style. ;)

Well hopefully things will work out now. 
And let me know if there was anything you wanted for the foil [[Wikipedia:Street Fighter Alpha 3|R. Mika]] cards you have. I even have extra commons for her if you're interested. 
Talk to you later 
You take care and feel better soon. 
haha I'm still shy about his affections though! I'm like, ok, I'm on his lap, what do I do? hahaha 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Subject: Hey, I'm cool. 
Date: Sun, 21 Oct 2007 9:25 pm

Yeah, I'm mostly over what happened Friday. But I have a single quandry to ask, and I would appreciate an [[Honest Content|honest answer]], please. Did Christopher ask you to sit on his lap, or what incentive gave you reason to do that? Please reply with an honest answer.

Other note, I picked up a couple of blank [[wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS League cards]] for you and John to sign your names on; I'll give them to you two Friday. No tournament happened earlier; not enough people.

Take care; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Chris is scared of some fanart===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Nov 2007 11:50:23 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Megan, I've had so much to worry about today

The Good News though is that I've had more fans for Sonichu than I thought. Now the worse to bad...

I got this [[Evan|E-Mail]] earlier that had a set of four fanart of Sonichu and ME. While I enjoyed more the spoof of me sitting at by a box on a sidewalk, "Girlfriend Auditions," and the one with me glaring in the eyes of a blue hedgehog in armor. The OTHER TWO in that set of four... FREAKED, CREEPED AND SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!! (A lot worse than my freak-out over you on Christopher's lap last night; please keep that in private, in other words, "Get A Room.") I sent him a reply with respective [[Masturbating and squirtin'|criticism]]. I WAS INFURIATED!!!

Then later, I learn from an anonymous tipster about this girl'ss profile page on [[deviantART]], while she has good and fun fanart of Sonichu, SHE IS TAKING THE CREDIT, AND PLACING A FAKE COPYRIGHT, 2007 WITH HER NAME ON IT!!! You, Me, and the rest of the Sonichu Fan Club know that Sonichu Was Born On MARCH, 17, 2000 (Y2K). I sent her a message requesting her to remover her claim of copyright with a warning of Legal Actions.

All the images are attached to this e-mail, or I can show them to you on my PSP later. =0 A I just needed to get that off my head and heart, since my mom fell asleep on me at the moment.

Okay, I'll see you hopefully at the UFS Tournament. Also, don't forget to set your clocks one hour back this weekend.

Take care; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris talks about cards and mentions Lori===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net Cc: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Sun, 18 Nov 2007 2:45:14 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Just to let you know...

Hey, Megan. It became kind of a ghost-town at the Game Place last Friday; most of the children left. It's too bad you didn't make it. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I got a Piplup and Turtwig through SUCCESSFUL Trades through the [[wikipedia:Global Trade Station|GTS (Wi-Fi)]]. Also, have you or John gone underground with the Explorers' Kit? I found 4 Skull Fossils, so I have 3 extra Craniados; if I don't get one through the GTS by the Friday after Thanksgiving (NO LEAGUE this coming Friday), I need the other fossil Pokemon of the Diamond/Pearl Generation (the one that evolves into Bastiedon). I will trade you or John a Craniados for that Fossil Pokemon. One more thing, please Show me a Palkia in my Diamond game, so I can try to get one through the GTS.

That's about it for now. Please reply ASAP.

Take care; Chris Chan.

P.S. This is [[Lori Lopez|Lori]]; the girl my buddy [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] is hooking me up with. She had it done at JMU; that's why it has her name on it.}}

===Megan is curious===
{{quoteboxred|
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Subject: Re: Just to let you know... 
Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 10:05 am

Well I'm not too far with Pearl but John has a lot of Pokemon. Have you met this girl yet? Well I hope it goes well for you. Let me know how it goes! I forgot to ask last night but could you find out if there will be UFS this coming sunday? Thanks!

Bye bye 
~Megan}}
===Chris really likes Pokemon===
{{quotebox|
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Subject: Re: Just to let you know... 
Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 2:17 pm

I'll be meeting [[Lori Lopez|Lori]] soon. I've traded a LV.20 Male Burmy for a Shieldon over the GTS, so I'm good on the fossils for now. Not this coming Sunday; it's Thanksgiving Weekend; No Pokemon this week either. Thank you for replying and letting meknow. Please work on getting that Palkia, so I can have my character see it, so I can find it through the GTS. I will likely start the Ranger adventure again so I can get my own Manaphy. BTW, try Manaphy and Ditto at the Day Care; my Player's Guide says there's a non-evolving baby Manaphy to be hatched from that combination.

Take care; 
Chris Chan.}}

===Megan asks him for Nazi music or something===
{{quoteboxred|
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: Christian Chandler <cwcsonichu@aol.com> 
Subject: one more favor? 
Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:08 pm

Hey, I hope things go well between you and Lori.

Hope it's not a problem but I have ONE more request from [http://sailormusic.net/ Sailormusic.net]. I was going to download the ogg.vorbis thing but it didn't work...

On the international Albums could you please save all the German stuff for me please? I think each link is compressed file of several songs. Would that be ok with you? I would really like them and can't find them anywhere else...

Thanks again, I'll remember to bring Pokemon next time 
PS is it possible to save them and maybe email me the converted files? 
~Megan}}

===Chris is boring and still likes Pokemon===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com Cc: polizeigewalt@aim.com 
Sent: Tue, 18 Dec 2007 8:42:27 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hey, Megan.

Just a reminder; please reply if otherwise, but please don't forget my [[wikipedia:Memory Stick#Memory Stick Duo|Memory Stick Duo]], as well as yours and John's Pokemon Diamond/Pearl games and DS Systems for when I meet you all at The End tomorrow.

I will be sure to come with my Wii and Pokemon Battle Revolution and my [[wikipedia:Datel Action Replay|Action Replay DS]] accessory.

I will check my e-mail tomorrow in the afternoon for your reply.

Take care, and see you all tomorrow. Chris Chan.}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:20070807a-Meg-Piss Off.PNG
Image:Megan 07-10-20-1.PNG
Image:Megan_07-10-20-2.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]

Carlos Chantor

2014-07-25T03:44:18Z

Ty Delle: /* Escorts.com Profile */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of '''"Carlos Chantor"''''(DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias).|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 6|Jackie E-mails #6]]}}

[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|"[[List of Chris's lies|Experienced for Her Pleasure.]]"]]

'''Carlos Chantor''' was Chris's alias during his short-lived career as a male escort.

Chris came up with the alias after his first break up with his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. He tried joining with [[Charlottesville]]'s "Naughty and Nice" escort services, but after being told that there was no market for [[duck|bent]], [[autism|autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgins with rage]], he made a profile (now deleted) at '''Escorts.com''', apparently unaware that most male prostitutes belong to a rather [[homos|rough trade]]. Interestingly, on the Escort.com profile Chris checked that he was comfortable with every fetish available (except the ones he found too [[homos|homosexual]]). After a [[Prank calls#Carlos Chantor Call|certain prank call inquired about watersports]], however, he quickly reverted his decision and removed watersports as a fetish. He also distributed cards promoting himself as an escort around Charlottesville. This shows once again that Chris does not care about sex as an act between two lovers, but rather, he sees it as a way to lose his virginity, as well as to get a quick buck.

For some reason, no one has called Chris up.

== Escorts.com Profile ==

=== About Me ===
[[Virgin|Experienced]] for [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Her Pleasure]].

Hey, Ladies. [[Chris and Reality|I am a cool dude to hang with]], and I can make you [[CWC's Message for Ivy|feel good emotionally]] and [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|show you a fun time]]. I enjoy a lot of things; [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|I'll let you know when it's going too far]]. Give me [[Prank calls|a call]] to hook up (434 area code only).

=== My Details ===
[[File:CarlosChantor.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The explicit personal details of notorious womanizer, Carlos Chantor.]]
* '''Sex:''' Male
* '''Date of Birth:''' 2/24/[[1982]] (age 28)
* '''Orientation:''' [[Homos|Straight]] Male
* '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|Caucasian]]
* '''Body Type:''' [[Obesity|Average (height/weight proportional)]]
* '''Height:''' 5 feet 10 inches (178 cm)
* '''Hair Color:''' [[Hair|Brown]]
* '''Eye Color:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
* '''Smoking:''' [[Tobacky|Do Not Smoke]]
* '''Drinking:''' [[Alcohol|Occasionally]]
* '''Drug Use:''' Never use them
* '''Language Spoken:''' [[Chris and English|English]]
* '''Secondary Language:''' [[Spanish]]

===My Location===
* '''Home:''' [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]

===My Availability===
* '''Available as a(n):''' [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Accommodating Male]], [[Patti|Master]]/[[niggo|Slave]], [[Butt garments|Model]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Masseuse]], [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_Undressing|Stripper]]/[[WelcometoBollywood|Dancer]], [[Barbara|Escort]]
* '''Available For:''' Outcall, [[14 Branchland Court|Incall]]
* '''Management:''' Independent

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]

[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Carlos Chantor

2014-07-25T03:43:08Z

Ty Delle: /* About Me */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of '''"Carlos Chantor"''''(DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias).|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 6|Jackie E-mails #6]]}}

[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|"[[List of Chris's lies|Experienced for Her Pleasure.]]"]]

'''Carlos Chantor''' was Chris's alias during his short-lived career as a male escort.

Chris came up with the alias after his first break up with his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. He tried joining with [[Charlottesville]]'s "Naughty and Nice" escort services, but after being told that there was no market for [[duck|bent]], [[autism|autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgins with rage]], he made a profile (now deleted) at '''Escorts.com''', apparently unaware that most male prostitutes belong to a rather [[homos|rough trade]]. Interestingly, on the Escort.com profile Chris checked that he was comfortable with every fetish available (except the ones he found too [[homos|homosexual]]). After a [[Prank calls#Carlos Chantor Call|certain prank call inquired about watersports]], however, he quickly reverted his decision and removed watersports as a fetish. He also distributed cards promoting himself as an escort around Charlottesville. This shows once again that Chris does not care about sex as an act between two lovers, but rather, he sees it as a way to lose his virginity, as well as to get a quick buck.

For some reason, no one has called Chris up.

== Escorts.com Profile ==

=== About Me ===
[[Virgin|Experienced]] for Her Pleasure.

Hey, Ladies. [[Chris and Reality|I am a cool dude to hang with]], and I can make you [[CWC's Message for Ivy|feel good emotionally]] and [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|show you a fun time]]. I enjoy a lot of things; [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|I'll let you know when it's going too far]]. Give me [[Prank calls|a call]] to hook up (434 area code only).

=== My Details ===
[[File:CarlosChantor.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The explicit personal details of notorious womanizer, Carlos Chantor.]]
* '''Sex:''' Male
* '''Date of Birth:''' 2/24/[[1982]] (age 28)
* '''Orientation:''' [[Homos|Straight]] Male
* '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|Caucasian]]
* '''Body Type:''' [[Obesity|Average (height/weight proportional)]]
* '''Height:''' 5 feet 10 inches (178 cm)
* '''Hair Color:''' [[Hair|Brown]]
* '''Eye Color:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
* '''Smoking:''' [[Tobacky|Do Not Smoke]]
* '''Drinking:''' [[Alcohol|Occasionally]]
* '''Drug Use:''' Never use them
* '''Language Spoken:''' [[Chris and English|English]]
* '''Secondary Language:''' [[Spanish]]

===My Location===
* '''Home:''' [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]

===My Availability===
* '''Available as a(n):''' [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Accommodating Male]], [[Patti|Master]]/[[niggo|Slave]], [[Butt garments|Model]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Masseuse]], [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_Undressing|Stripper]]/[[WelcometoBollywood|Dancer]], [[Barbara|Escort]]
* '''Available For:''' Outcall, [[14 Branchland Court|Incall]]
* '''Management:''' Independent

==See also==
* [[Chris and sex]]

[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Ian Brandon Anderson

2014-07-25T01:47:08Z

Ty Delle:

{{Articleofthenow}}

'''Ian Brandon Anderson''' was a name given to [[Chris]] in late [[2009]] as part of an in-joke with regards to the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. When Liquid first showed up, his gimmick was that he was supposedly the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler, and that the CChanSonichu account on [[YouTube]] had been hacked by an impostor a short while ago, and it was the impostor who was now operating the '''IBAChandler''' account and pretending to be the real Chris. In this narrative, Ian Brandon Anderson was supposedly the real name of the impostor.
[[Image:JAELou2.jpg|thumb|IBA Chandler sniper rifle.]]
==The name==
The name originated from the first three initials in Chris's new YouTube screen name. As Chris later explained, the real meaning of IBAChandler was really that it was a magnificently retarded wordplay joke, meaning "I Be A Chandler", as in "I, Christian, am one of the Chandlers". However, when Chris later uploaded [[Rollin' and Trollin']], he gave the real [[trolls]] ammunition to use against him, as they were able to support Liquid's claims of being the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris-Chan, whilst claiming that the actual Chris was really a troll, and using the video as proof of their claims. During this, one of the many YouTube trolls involved came up with the idea that IBA was actually an acronym for the impostor's real name, deciding that it meant Ian Brandon Anderson. Liquid himself later picked up on this and began accusing Chris of being Ian as well, leading directly into the rest of the Liquid Saga, such as the [[Singstar Challenge]] and the conflict over [[Kacey]].

==Chris's reaction==
Of course, suggesting that Chris was anything other than the true and honest Christian Weston Chandler was a serious insult to him. Every instance of Liquid calling him Ian in [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone calls]] or in a video would cause Chris to rage and scream about how he was the real Christian, resulting in such humorous videos as [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]] in which he screamed the infamous words "MY NAME IS NOT IAN...[[Speech impediment|BRANNAN]]...SOMETHING!!!".

When Chris later included Liquid as a character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]], his character's name was [[Liquid Chris|IBAChandler]], just like the YouTube screen name.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_79</ref>

Though Chris did [[tard rage]] over being called Ian several times during the Liquid saga, it should be noted that he only ever reacted to Liquid calling him as such. In spite of what they may think, [http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePCassassins faggots] commenting on Chris's YouTube channel and calling his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] to [[Prank calls|scream into his phone]] did nothing to Chris, because Chris never gave a shit about them either way.

==Fan videos==

<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Denial: The Ian Brandon Anderson Story (trailer)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|iS42GGu2f2o}}
| Stardate = 29 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/GodAndTheBearFilms GodAndTheBearFilms]
| Subject = Ian Brandon Anderson
| Video Type = Mock-Trailer
}}</center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Liquid Chris]] - The first person to call Chris Ian to his face
*[[Asperchu]] - Which used Ian jokes on occasion
*[[Singstar Challenge]] - In which Liquid called Chris Ian several times
*[[Rollin' and Trollin']] - The catalyst for the original Ian meme

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]

Common Questions

2014-07-23T22:38:32Z

Ty Delle: /* 22 February 2010 */

In late [[December 2009]], the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag|Mailbags]] gained a new subsection, a series of short questions allegedly asked by many people who had written to Chris. Chris was surprisingly diligent about answering all of these '''Common Questions''' (normal people would call them "Frequently Asked Questions" - "FAQ") with every new Mailbag. The answers, unsurprisingly, were erratic at best. Sometimes Chris provided [[Honest Content|far too much information]], and other times he would provide a single word in response when a longer answer would have been expected. On occasion, he would change the text in the question itself to suit his needs, a practice of editing he'd been using in the mailbags since day one.

All of his answers have been compiled here, arranged by the date on which he answered them.

==28 December 2009==

*'''Q: Have you ever read any books on how to go about creating [[art]]? e.g. [[Wikipedia:Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain|Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain]], [[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]], How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, [[Mailbag 26#In which Chris's brain starts to work!|On Writing]], or things like internet tutorials?'''
::A: [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|I have read such books]], and I have taken many [[art]]s classes too.

*'''Q: If you were a director [[A CWC Audition|in Hollywood]], what kinds of films would you make?'''
::A: Action/Steamy ([[Chris and English|Striaght]]) Romance

*'''Q: You said you read [[R.L. Stine]] books when you were in high school. What kind of books do you read now? "Literary" fiction? Genre, like mystery or horror or science fiction? Nonfiction?'''
::A: I read less books now, although the last book I read was [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]]'s Star.

*'''Q: Have you considered creating non-[[Sonichu]] comics or stories?'''
::A: Yes, and the ideas are still in my head.

*'''Q: Have you ever accepted and used constructive criticism in your comics? Or do you blow off anything anyone says that is slightly negative, even if their intentions are to help you improve your art?'''
::A: I have accepted and used ideas and criticism one such example was the [[Sonichu Fan Promo|Sonichu Animations from YouTube User: Timmys1984]]; it was very good, yet the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my [[Sonichu 9|9th Book]].

*'''Q: Why do you steal jokes from so many other sources (i.e. [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]]) and put it in your comics? It isn't very original and you can't come up with an original concept if all the humor in your comics is stolen.'''
::A: Like Family Guy, [[The Simpsons|Simpsons]], Excel Saga, and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "[[wikipedia:Simpsons_Already_Did_It|Simpsons Did It]]."

*'''Q: Describe your artistic process. How do you get inspiration for ideas for your comics? What goes through your head when you draw and color your comics?'''
::A: I get the idea beforehand in random thought/imagination/dream, get pen and paper and write/draw it out. A lot goes through my head, and it is hard for me as a [[Chris and his Ego|creative genius]] to remember it all on-the-spot verbatim.

*'''Q: We all know you have [[autism]], but exactly what type do you have? There are multiple types on the spectrum.'''
::A: High-Functioning Autism.

*'''Q: What do you plan to do after you have found your true [[sweetheart]] and had your daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]?'''
::A: I will live my family life as I had dreamed and waited for hapily.

*'''Q: What would you do if either of you turned out to be infertile?'''
::A: That is just plain stupid; I am VERY Fertile; Certified in the Medical Clinic, and I would make sure my woman has not hit Menopause yet.

*'''Q: What would you do if you found your sweetheart, fell in love with her, married her, but she could only give birth to male children?.'''
::A: It is a 50/50 chance among all women; I trust God to come through in his promise as he has told me before. I will keep trying though; I am not [[Wikipedia:Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII]].

*'''Q: Aside from creating Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] and excluding your future accomplishment of getting a true sweetheart and having your daughter Crystal, what is your greatest accomplishment in life and why?'''
::A: Graduating [[Manchester_High_School|High School]] and [[College]]; I have learned a LOT and met the requirements; it's all good.

*'''Q: What are your top five priorities in life and why?'''
::A: 1) Good [[Health]] - Who wants to be ill or sick? 2) Happiness - I don't like being [[CWC is sad|sad]]. 3) [[Love Quest|Love]] - I want to feel loved and appreciated by my closest ones. 4) Projects/Job - It gives me something to do. 5) [[Money]] - It does not make the world go around, but everyone wants it to feel like they are getting something out of a deal.

*'''Q: If you were made the absolute leader of the entire world for a day and your word was taken as law, what sorts of things would you do to make the world a better place?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples]], leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All [[gays]] would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.

*'''Q: What about fucking [[sex toys|sex dolls]], [[masturbating]], drawing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|smut]]? Isn't this all forbidden for true Christians?'''
::A: It is not forbidden; that would be the Jews who are against those things, and I am not Jewish, and I respect them as [[Michael Snyder|individual people.]]

*'''Q: Contrary to what you stated in issue 8, the age of consent in most of the United States is BELOW 18 (17 or 16). What is your opinion on this?'''
::A: I understand that SOME states have that law, and I feel that it is good; [[Pedofork|it broadens the range by one or two years, so one would feel lest restricted]].

*'''Q: What would you say is the most romantic thing you have ever done with or to a woman?'''
::A: [[The Creepy Stare|Sensual, emotionally-linked eye-contact]].

*'''Q: We've been hearing about your creations becoming more and more popular amongst the gay community. What are your thoughts on this?'''
::A: Firstly, their perspectives of my work are flawed; they misunderstand some points, and I do not care for that at all; It is a STRAIGHT Comic; [[Homos]]exuality Lifestyle is HEAVILY DISCOURAGED and DETESTED. Second, I really feel hatred in them placing MY characters in their events WRONGFULLY, even in... [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]]... pride parades and essays promoting their lifestyle. All of My [[Magi-Chan|Sonichus]] and [[Silvana|Rosechus]] Are Straight! And I Am Straight! DO NOT SAY OTHERWISE, Because It is Mislabeling; it is Very Wrong, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.

*'''Q: Do you plan to give an ending to Sonichu's story?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|No]].

*'''Q: Do Sonichu and Rosechu have full names (that is, two-part names, like all other [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]])? If so, what are they?'''
::A: No, they are the very first Sonichu and Rosechu, so they do not have such names.

*'''Q: Will [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Eevails]], or possibly some other [[Tails]]-like creature, appear in your comic?'''
::A: No.

==31 December 2009==

*'''Q: What do you think about people harassing others over [[PlayStation]] home?'''
::A: I do not like it at all.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: [[Homos|''Brokeback Mountain'']], [[Wikipedia:Borat|''Borat'']], [[Homos|''Bruno, Crying Game'']], ''[[Wikipedia:Krull (film)|Krull]]''.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst TV shows you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: I am unsure.

''Note: Chris added the strikeouts himself.''

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst video games you have ever played?'''
::A: I am unsure.

*'''Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Mary Poppins]], All [[Transformers]] Movies, Both [[Ghostbusters|Ghostbuster]] Movies, [[Saw|All Saw Movies]], [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|The 40-Year Old Virgin]].

*'''Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Transformers]] (ALL Seasons and Sets), [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (All Shows), [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] (All Seasons), [[Wikipedia:Mythbusters|Mythbusters]], [[Filmation's Ghostbusters]] (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE [[Honest_Content#True_and_Honest,_HOnest_and_True|ORIGINAL]] REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

*'''Q: What are the 5 best video games you have ever played?'''
::A: All [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog Titles]], [[LittleBiGPlanet]] ([[PS3]] AND [[PSP]]), All [[Guitar Hero]] Titles, All [[Animal Crossing]] Titles, All Pok'emon Titles.

*'''Q: Have you read classic comics like: [[Wikipedia:A Contract With God|A Contract With God]], [[Wikipedia:Maus|Maus]], [[Wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]], or [[Wikipedia:The Sandman (Vertigo)|The Sandman]]?'''
::A: [[Wikipedia:Superman|Superman]], [[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]] and the like.

*'''Q: Could you mention any specific titles or series of comics you have read (besides [[Sonic the Hedgehog]])?'''
::A: [[Wikipedia:Superman|Superman]], [[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]] and the like.

*'''Q: What's your creative process like?'''
::A: [[Random]], Extensive, [[Autism|Tough to Comprehend]] sometimes...

*'''Q: How do you go about creating each comic--do you do storyboards or scriptwriting beforehand?'''
::A: Mental Storyboards and Scriptwriting, but I do write some of it out on paper.

*'''Q: How far in advance do you plan the story?'''
::A: About weeks to months in advance.

*'''Q: Besides [[Sonic]], [[Pokemon]], and your daily struggles, what inspires your [[writing]] and [[art]]?'''
::A: [[Things Chris has ripped off|Other shows, comics, video games]], and most importantly my [[Evan|Fans]]. :)

*'''Q: Did any specific comic book inspire you to create your own?'''
::A: I'd say the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|Sonic the Hedgehog Comic Book Series]]

*'''Q: Why comics as opposed to short stories/novels?'''
::A: I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], and I feel better with having pictures to associate the words with.

*'''Q: Would you ever consider getting a massage?'''
::A: Yes, [[Women's rights|from Women Only.]]

*'''Q: What is your purpose in life?'''
::A: Does anyone really know their own [[China|ONE TRUE purpose in life]]? We mostly are supposed to live one moment and day at a time as best we can to make us individually feel [[Love Quest|satisfied]] and at [[Tomgirl|peace]].

*'''Q: Do you believe in an afterlife?'''
::A: [[Chris and Religion#Afterlife|Yes]].

*'''Q: What do you think happens after we die?'''
::A: Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in [[Wikipedia:Heaven|Heaven]] or [[Wikipedia:Hell|Hell]] depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and [[Chris and Religion|possibly Reincarnation]].

==1 January 2010==

*'''Q: Where do you think you'll go after you die and why do you think that will be the case?'''
::A: I do my best and what I can to end up in [[Heaven]] , [[Lie|I do a lot of good deeds]].

*'''Q: You follow the Bible rigorously and believe homosexuality will send you to [[Wikipedia:Hell|Hell]]. However, the Bible says that having unmarried sex will send you to Hell as well. Explain your reasonings you choose to ignore God's word and not waiting until after marriage but instead "after the [[Third date|3rd date]]".'''
::A:Those more strict rules apply to the [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]], especially the [[Wikipedia:Boook of Leviticus|book of Leviticus]]. I am a Christian [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]], and as long as we feel comfortable and happy with our lives, if the Christian individual feels comfortable with [[Chris and sex|premarital sex]], then it is [[Chris and Hypocrisy|cool]].

*'''Q: Can you justify your anti-homosexuality? How exactly?'''
::A: Yes; the [[Homos]] I have heard from [[Tomgirl|try to push their damn lifestyle in my face]], and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.

*'''Q: Why does [[Rosechu]] wear clothes while Sonichu does not? Additionally, why are [[Lolisa]], [[DJ Jamsta]], and Rosechu the only Sonichus and Rosechus who wear clothing?'''
::A: Well, Why does [[Wikipedia:The Yogi Bear Show#Cindy Bear|Cindy Bear]] not wear clothes? Why does [[Wikipedia:Mickey Mouse|Mickey Mouse]] wear pants yet [[Sonic]] and [[Wikipedia:Donald Duck|Donald Duck]] do not? Why does [[Wikipedia:Daisy Duck|Daisy Duck]] wear ONLY a Top, yet [[Wikipedia:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]] wears a skirt? IT'S A CARTOON; WHO CARES?!

*'''Q: Are the [[Sonichu comics|''Sonichu'' comics]] still aimed at children? If so, what age group?'''
::A: Yes, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ages 7 and Up]].

*'''Q: I am really interested in your [[Lego]] [[CWCville]], could you please draw an elaborate map of it for me?'''
::A: One Day, I will draw a map, although it is similar to the City of Cwcville, VA.

==5 January 2010==

*'''Q: If [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] got published how much would each Issue cost?'''
::A: I'd estimate $2.25, given the current shelf-comic prices. But ON the [[PS3|Playstation Network]]'s Digital Comic Service, I'd estimate $0.99 or $1.99 per Digital Issue.

*'''Q: How often does [[Sonichu]] have to stop and take breaks when he's running?'''
::A: He only stops for a rescue, [[China|social life]], [[Obesity|eating a chili dog, tacos or whatever he feels like chowin' down]], and to relax at home with [[Robbie Sonee|his family]].

*'''Q: [[Virginia]] lets you to [[Wikipedia:Cousin marriage law in the United States by state|marry your first cousin]], but doesn't allow [[gays]] to marry. Do you think cousin-marriage is better than gay marriage? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and anger|WHAT THE F***?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT C***PIEST OF HEINOUS LIES ABOUT VIRGINIA?!]] Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN [[Barbara|MOTHER]] OR [[Bob|FATHER]]! In comparison, both unholy marriages are equally terrible.

==7 January 2010==

*'''Q: You said that you confess your sins and pray every night. What sins do you confess?'''
::A: To name a couple: I apologize right after each time I say something like "God damn" (I'm sorry, God); I confess and apologize for, if any that day, angry responses to [[Bob|my own father]] after he starts an arguement or gets on my nerves.

*'''Q: What exactly happened when you were called into [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s office?'''
::A: That was one time I would rather not go into or recall. She raised her voice at me in harsh tones about how "You won't be getting any women" or "Your methods are flawed and stupid" and even "You are Stupid, Christian". I responded very angrily and verbally abused her back. Then I was kicked out for a year with [[Wikipedia:Anger Management|Anger management]] and [[Wikipedia:Psychiatrist|psychiatrist]] assistance.

*'''Q: Why do you [[Autism|randomly capitalize words when you type?]]'''
::A: I do not type in [[Chris and hypocrisy|Caps at Random]]; I type those phrases or words in caps to EMPHASIZE MY POINT OR FACT.

*'''Q: When did you first realize that you hated the homos? Do your parents hate them as much as you do?'''
::A: I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a [[Lesbian]]." That, combined with my PAST dislike of [[JERKS|MEN]] in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a [[Sonichu]] BALLOON in one of their God [[Chris and English|DAMED]] Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE! And I will say this again, '''SONICHU IS STRAIGHT, YOU DUMBASS GAYWADS.'''

==9 January 2010==

*'''Q: What do you think of people of different faiths other than your own (this includes [[Wikipedia:Satanism|Satanism]],[[Wikipedia:Atheism|Atheism]], [[Wikipedia:Agnosticism|Agnosticism]])'''
::A: For most other religions, I am of neutral opinion and have no objections to them whatsoever. But for ALL those of Satanism and Atheism; I do not care for those Non-Religions AT ALL. [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|I will not discriminate]] the people of those Non-Religions as Individual People.

*'''Q: How do you feel about [[Homos|the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual community]]? do they deserve the same rights as anyone else?'''
::A: As individual people, they all deserve Most Rights, but GAY MARRIAGE Should be made Illegal ALL Countries; Marriage is ONLY for Straight Man/Woman couples. I stand behind that most fully.

*'''Q: How do you feel about people of different political parties, political parties spanning from Anarchism to Fascism.'''
::A: As a Moderate (of Middle, Neutral Opinion), I have nothing against the other political parties. Mainly, because even though I do have the ability to learn about them, I know not ALL of the details of them.

*'''Q: How do you feel about Drugs? Drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigarettes, [[Alcohol]], etc.'''
::A: I STAND FULLY AGAINST [[Tobacky|Cigarettes, Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigars]] and ALL other Drugs of the sort. The only exceptions are drugs that are Prescribed to the Individual Person, as long as they are not given to anyone they were not originally prescribed to, I have no objections. And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, irresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to [[6 June 2010|fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents]].

*'''Q: Do you hold any distaste for any worldly culture?'''
::A: Only those who fully promote [[Tobacky|smoking]] or such drugs that I have just elaborated against of.

*'''Q: Are you uncomfortable about [[Chris and race|people of Color]]? do you have any tensions towards them?'''
::A: I have no discomfort or tension against people of all colors. The only exception is in my choice of [[Sweetheart]] or Mate; No Personal Offense, but she can not be [[Niggos|Black]].

*'''Q: Are you disturbed or disgusted by different types of music?''' Many people dislike [[Wikipedia:Death Metal|Death Metal]]: [http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5 http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5]
::A: I have agreement on some lyrics of Death Metal tracks, but the Tune, as long as it is not at loud volume, it is still good.

*'''Q: What do you think of our current president? Is he deceiving [[America]]ns as the Right Wing has expressed?'''
::A: I think [[Obama]] is doing okay, yet I disagree with his Health Plan; it is premature at the time, because we can not afford it yet. The Right Wing are [[Bob Chandler|sour]], mean people; I give no concern to them.

*'''Q: Do you think Countries such as the Soviet Union or [[CWCville|North Korea]] Are actually Communist?'''
::A: I do not know much about those countries, so I can not give a full opinion on the topic. Although I do hate Communism; [[Monthly Tugboat |they are of wrong opinions and are considerably mean]].

*'''Q: How do you think the situation in Afghanistan is going? Is there anything you would do different?'''
::A: I do not have full knowledge of that situation either.

*'''Q. Would you be willing to preform oral sex on a woman?'''
::A: Yes I would.

*'''Q. You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?'''
::A: Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and Reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say [[Autism|"Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."]]

*'''Q. Have you ever thought about documenting your daily life? Kind of like a reality show?'''
::A: The topic has come to mind, yet I do not feel it appropriate yet.

*'''Q. Do you eat at restaurants other than [[McDonalds]] or [[Burger King]]?'''
::A: Yes, namely [[Golden Corral]], [[Country Cookin']] and iHop.

*'''Q. Do you ever consider playing [[Guitar Hero]] on expert instead of hard?'''
::A: I have played on Expert, and it is good.

*'''Q. What do you argue about with your dad?'''
::A: A number of things; I would not know where to begin on making the list of dumb topics he comes up with.

*'''Q. Why do you want to get the original [[Power Rangers]] back together? They're 40, no longer fit the costumes, one of them is dead, and one of them went to jail for drunk driving.'''
::A: Originally, I meant ONLY to '''[[Revive Zordon]]'''; I mean PRESIDENTS, POLICE CHIEFS and such Recruiting Power Rangers and Creating Zords? Not only is it Trite and LAME, it is not as CLASSIC or Good Quality as Zordon.

*'''Q. Do your parents freak out about you playing with [[My Little Pony|girl's toys]] when you're a grown man?'''
::A: No, they do not, and I gave that up [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|long ago]].

*'''Q. What other ideas did you think of to attract women before you settled on a cardboard sign?'''
::A: Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; [[Chris and Money|THEY COST MONEY]].

*'''Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?'''
::A: I am [[Chris and reality|ALREADY GROWN UP]]; I am 27 Years Old, going on 28. I am a [[Chris and reality|great artist]], and I am looking forward to an Office Job.

==15 January 2010==

*'''Q: If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the [[friend zone]]? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?'''
::A: Nothing has happened in [[Women's Rights]]; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone [[Megan|the woman]] deeply cares about and trusts so she could [[Chris and rape|get out of sex]] or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.

*'''Q: Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?'''
::A: Non-gay stuff is acceptable, but I don't like EVERYTHING I SEE; there are some things, even straight things, that I don't like either.

*'''Q: [http://www.ratpacker.com/Images/Core_Commander.gif| If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you? ]'''
::A: I do not think so.

*'''Q: Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed [[List of Chris's games|every game you played]].'''
::A: I just could not think of any that would total up to five.

*'''Q: If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?'''
::A: I am not sure.

*'''Q: Why do you like the name "[[Reginald]]" so much?'''
::A: Because [[PandaHalo|a woman]] who was close to me picked it out for the son in our role-play scenario; now she's [[Chris and death|dead]], and I still miss her sometimes.

*'''Q: Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?'''
::A: Whatever; I do not care.

*'''Q: [[Christian Love Day|Why did you get rid of asexuality in Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single? '''
::A: It had occured to me about asexuality recently from a mailbag question, and made me think about it, and NOT being able to FEEL the Attraction is Just Sad.

*'''Q: In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]] left you?'''
::A: I would not want them to leave; they are still fans.

*'''Q: Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so? '''
::A: Yes I have considered it. [[Chris and money|Current financial situations]] and fear of change (a common [[Autistic]] Trait) prevents me from doing so.

*'''Q: If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?'''
::A: ONLY if that was the case, I would say Shoot Me.

*'''Q: Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?'''
::A: It's one of the flaws in recording with Sony's EyeCreate Program (a downloadable Playstation 3 Application that requires the [[PSEye|Playstation Eye Camera]]); THEY NEED TO FIX THE PROGRAM, not only of that tint from Lack Of Some Light, but the Audio/Video skips that seems to occur during recording.

*'''Q: You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?'''
::A: NO, because Homosexuality is STILL WRONG.

*'''Q: Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?'''
::A: Oh, I don't know, how about being a [[Virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]?!

*'''Q: Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?'''
::A: That is Bull[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|c***]].

*'''Q: Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?'''
::A: To name a few: [[Wikipedia:Jenna Jameson|Jenna Jameson]], [[Wikipedia:Daisy Marie|Daisy Marie]] and [[Wikipedia:Carmen Luvana|Carmen Luvana]].

*'''Q: Do you have any friends in the Autistic community?'''
::A: Only a few Acquaintances.

==20 January 2010==

*'''Q: Have you ever considered the possibility that you may never lose your [[Virgin with rage|virginity]]? What will you do then? How old do you think is too old to be a virgin?'''
::A: No. The next question is Non-Applicable. [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|40]].

*'''Q: If you could have sex with one famous woman, living or historical, who would it be?'''
::A: [[Britney Spears]].

*'''Q: Why do you think [[Asperchu]] currently has 10 times as many fans as Sonichu?'''
::A: "Fans" are fickle, and so are "Fads"; the Non-True Fans will always look for the Next "Fad" until they tire of it and move on to the next "Fad". In this note, I would say that I am Possibly Retro, and [[Chris and Fashion|Retro is ALWAYS IN]].

*'''Q: Would you say your life has improved since thinking up [[Sonichu]]? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and his ego|Yes; I became famous]], and becoming famous is not an easy task.

*'''Q: Do you know what the word "[[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]]" means?'''
::A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) [[Chris and religion|to be of a belief while not upholding that belief.]] 2) [[List of Chris's lies|a total liar.]] 3) an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a [[Asperchu|newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a '''hypocrite''' among the [[Fanbase|Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].

*'''Q: I noticed that you have [[The Simpsons|a Marge Simpson poster]] on [[Chris's room|your wall]]. Do you find her sexually appealing and if yes why?'''
::A: That is the pin-up from a "[[Wikipedia:Playboy (magazine)|Playboy]]" a few months ago. She is appealing, yes, but I am more attracted to the real-life women around us all.

*'''Q: What's with all the pictures of Rosechu with a [[pickle]] on the internet? I thought she was supposed to be ALL WOMAN?'''
::A: Rosechu IS All Woman; she transformed from a Female Raichu; those people are just being stupid [[jerk]]s with such "renditions".

*'''Q: How do you expect to keep us last remaining fans by stop working on the comic pages?'''
::A: I am drawing pages every day; just be patient and have full faith, unless you want to be considered a '''hypocrite''' among True, Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fans.

==26 January 2010==
*'''Q: If Rosechu is a Raichu, that means she's more evolved then Sonichu, who is a Pikachu. Shouldn't she be more powerful than Sonichu and be the leader?'''
::A: Evolution makes no difference; Rosechu is equally as powerful as Sonichu; Sonichu is the main character; Rosechu has equal leadership roles, so [[Women's rights|she leads when appropriate]].

*'''Q: Why do you think you are better artist than [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]], aside from low-resolution and his style's blockiness? Is there something wrong to have quirky and blocky drawing style?'''
::A: How about the fact that his style looks [[Slow-in-the-minds|Retarded]] and something that [[Chris and hypocrisy|a 2-Year Old can do]]? There's nothing wrong, unless you want to be TRULY Respected as [[Chris and art|an Avid Artist]] and [[Chris_and_reality|Serious Person.]]

*'''Q: Why is [[Flame the Sunbird]] a ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Kazooie|Kazooie]]?'''
::A: Flame was NEVER taken from Kazooie; if anything, he is MORE similar to [[Sonic|Knuckles]], but with a Sunbird Form.

*'''Q: You have expressed disdain for Asperchu and [[Simonchu]], but how do you feel about [[Moon-Pals]]? Have you read it? If not, it would only be fair for you to do so.'''
::A: I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way [[Sean]] draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely.

*'''Q: How many fans do you think you have? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: [[Chris and his Ego|1000000000+.]]

*'''Q: How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: 0-10
''Chris left this last question unanswered until 30 January.''

==30 January 2010==
*'''Q: Will you ever be able to accept criticism without being condescending or changing the subject?'''
::A: [[Lie|Yes]].

*'''Q: Capital punishment (the Death Penalty) is legal in the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]]. Do you support the death penalty?'''
::A: [[9 February 2010|I do not support the death penalty]].

*'''Q: Could you post the letter you sent to [[Barack Obama]] on the [[CWCipedia]]?'''
::A: I am afraid I did not make a photocopy of the letter, and I had snail-mailed it weeks ago, so I can not do that.

*'''Q: You talk about how [[Asperchu]] is just a fad, but what if Sonichu is actually the fad that's starting to fade?'''
::A: I disagree.

*'''Q: If Rosechu is equal to Sonichu in power why does she need to be saved by him?'''
::A: [[Women's rights|She was caught off-guard at those times.]]

==1 February 2010==
*'''Q: Why do people who "[[Mailbag 49#Apparently that's reason enough|tick you off]]" [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|deserve to die in explosions]]? Didn't Matthew say to love thy enemy?'''
::A: [[Lie|I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way]].

*'''Q: If you don't support [[Sonichu 10|the death penalty]], that means you believe all life is sacred, right? Then why do you call for the deaths of [[Homos|gays]]? Is it only straight people who shouldn't get the death penalty?'''
::A: [[Death threats|All Life IS sacred]].

*'''Q: How come you become more and more like a dictator like [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|Kim Jong Il]], [[wikipedia:Hugo Chavez|Hugo Chavez]], or [[Wikipedia:Vladimir Putin|Vladimir Putin]] with your mailbags?'''
::A: [[CWCville|I am NOT a Dictator.]] Why are you giving me an even WORSE Mislabeling than the [[Homos]]exual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again?

*'''Q: Why did you choose to show the first [[Niggos|black]] character in the series in a negative and racist light?'''
::A: [[Inos|That one]] is NOT a recurring character; the one who WILL be recurring characters are and will be like [[Jerkop|Police Officers]] like [[Louis Perez]].

*'''Q: Why did [[Ultra Sonichu]] cure [[Aspergers]], but did nothing for the physically challenged Rosechus in [[CWCville]]?'''
::A: Mental Problems can be cured Easier than Physical.

*'''Q: Why do you constantly [[Mailbag|edit the letters]] you receive? Don't you think it is insulting and rude?'''
::A: I am working on that, and Editing Less.

*'''Q: Do you like zombies? What weapon would you use to defend yourself in the zombie apocalypse? Where would you hold out?'''
::A: No, I do not like zombies. I would use a [[Megatron pistol|Gun]]. [[14 Branchland Court|Where I can]].

*'''Q: If you claim to respect your fans, why is it okay for you to "promise" to do a [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] page everyday, and then not keep up on that promise?'''
::A: I am [[Chris and art|drawing the pages For Real]]; Hand-to-God. I have other life problems that delay me from getting them scanned and online sooner; Shoveling Snow, [[Chores]], [[Biological clock|Earlier Bedtime]] and Routine Resituating.

*'''Q: Why don't you just draw [[Wild]] a new girlfriend, so you can remove [[Simonla]] like [[Evan]] asked you to? Most people have more than one relationship in their lives, so it should not be that much of a problem. Or a you so uncreative that you can not think of a new character?'''
::A: I have stated before that when ONE finds [[Boyfriend-free girl|their Match]], they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple.

==22 February 2010==
*'''Q: How come your comics [[art]] hasn't improved since [[2005]], do you think you've reached your limit when it's come to the art of [[Sonichu (comic)|the Sonichu comic]]?'''
::A: On the contrary, my [[Chris and art|drawing skills]] have improved greatly over the years, yet it may be subtle and not obvious.

*'''Q: Why do you have a bedtime when you are around 30 years old?'''
::A: Everybody needs to [[Biological clock|sleep a while]] to recover energy from the past day.

*'''Q: What do you think of legally blind people?'''
::A: They're okay; they are keen to their other senses, and that is admirable. I have neutral to positive opinions of the legally blind.

*'''Q: Hey, Chris, what were your favorite after-school activities when you were a kid?'''
::A: [[Video games]] and Homework.

*'''Q: Were you ever involved in sports besides being the [[Bionic|basketball]] towelboy, or did you take music lessons or art classes outside of school?'''
::A: I took a lot of Physical Education classes; I did not take classes outside of school before [[PVCC|college]].

*'''Q: If you can't get [[Son-Chu|your car]] out because of the snow, shouldn't now be the perfect time to work on updating [[Sonichu (comic)|your comic]]?'''
::A: I have been working on the comic the whole time, as you will see very soon.

*'''Q: What's your favorite food? Does your mom ever cook at home? If she asked you to fix dinner, what would you do?'''
::A: Macaroni and Cheese; Yes; a small meal or soup.

*'''Q: Are there any [[video games]] out right now that you really want to play, but haven't gotten a chance to yet?'''
::A: [[Fanmail Reading|The Orange Box]], [[God of War]] III and Heavy Rain.
::''Note: neither God of War III nor [[Wikipedia:Heavy Rain|Heavy Rain]] had been released when Chris answered this question.''

*'''Q: If you could change anything about yourself physically, what would you change and why?'''
::A: Weigh myself down to [[WeighIn|180 pounds]].

*'''Q: How often do you shower?'''
::A: [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Nightly]].

*'''Q: How often do you visit with friends and family outside of the house?'''
::A: Sometimes.

*'''Q: Do you enjoy [[20 December 2009|playing]] with your [[cats]]?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Do you actually play with all the [[toys]] in your room? If not, why not donate some to children who actually will play with them?'''
::A: I do sometimes play with all my toys.

*'''Q: Do you envy Sonichu for having [[Rosechu|a wife]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|kids]]?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: Which of the Rosechus is the sexiest in your opinion?'''
::A: The Original [[Rosechu]].

*'''Q: If [[Chores|shoveling snow]] is that hard for you, why don't you just pay some kid [[Chris and money|$10]] to shovel your driveway?'''
::A: [[Obesity|Hard work is good for me]].

*'''Q: From between Issues [[Sonichu 0|#0]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]] Which [[Electric Hedgehog pokemon]] do you like least and why?'''
::A: [[Silvana Rosechu]], because of the [[Troll]] Influences, I felt forced to let [[Graduon]] magically make her a hermaphrodite for the sake of "TRANSFORM".

*'''Q: Have any of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|the Sonichus and Rosechus]] ever considered "[[Wikipedia:Swinging|swinging]]," aka swapping [[sex]] partners for the night?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: What are the ten worst things that have happened to you in your life?'''
::A: 1) [[Troll]]s Pestering Me Constantly. 2) [[Julie|Learning that Ohio woman was actually a 13-year old boy]]. 3) Having[[PSN|my accounts]] hacked into. 4) [[Clyde Cash]] breaking into my ORIGINAL, which hosted The Original "[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC's Sonichu Site]]", Tripod Account and screwing it up Royally. 5) Being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] by that S.O.B., '''[[Michael Snyder]]'''; we never saw eye-to-eye, and for [[Chris and anger|some UNCOMPREHENDIBLE Reason]], aside from that time with my [[Nintendo|Wii]], He Hated Me, Period. 6) Learning of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Website late October, [[2007]], followed by learning [[Lucas|TWO OF]] [[Mimms|THE TROLLS]] were old Pokémon TCG comrades in that same League I used to go to HAD PART in the creation of that D*** E.D. Page. 7) The loss of two True and Good Women who I had friendships with, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie ([[PandaHalo]]), and [[Sarah Jackson]]. 8) Being banned from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a year. 9) Having to leave behind all of my [[Gal-pal|Girl Friends]] from [[High School]] after Graduation. 10) [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade]]. 11) The [[Autism]].

*'''Q: Chris, what are the good deeds you have done that earn you the right to go to heaven?'''
::A: I have done a lot of good in my life, yet I did some bad, [[Chris and remorse|most of which was accidental, unintentional or beyond my knowledge]]. To name a few good things: holding the door for many people in various places, [[Chris and Death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|honoring my promises]], [[Chris and anger|being friendly and kind in person]], [[Chris and money|donating to various causes and a lot of other good things]].

*'''Q: Why does [[homos]]exuality immediately condemn the person to hell regardless of how good they are?'''
::A: I can not say; ask a Priest or Pastor.

*'''Q: At what age did you officially become mayor of [[CWCville]]?'''
::A: [[Sonichu chronology#2000|18]]

*'''Q: At what age will [[Daughter|your future daughter]] inherit the title of mayor of [[CWCville]]?'''
::A: 13 - 18

*'''Q: You know that crystal isn't a kind of metal, right?'''
::A: I know that; [[Chris and writing|cyrstal]] is a kind of [[wikipedia:Mineral|Mineral]].

*'''Q: Who came up with the "Chris Chan" nickname?'''
::A: I did; it's the first halves of my first and last names, Chris tian Chan dler, and it has a "[[Punchy|Jackie Chan]]" feel to it.

*'''Q: What inspired you to create Sonichu?'''
::A: The [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD Cover Project]] for [[CADD|Computer Graphics]] during my [[Chris and english|Seinor]] Year at [[Manchester High]]; [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]].

*'''Q: Even though you've created him for over a decade, did [[Sonichu]] ever helped you accomplished anything?'''
::A: Yes; see myself as a better person.

*'''Q: Why did the [[Wailord]] dropped a boulder on [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble]]'s adoptive mother [[Swampert]]?'''
::A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like [[Wikipedia:Barnacle|Barnicles]], and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.

*'''Q: Since you hate [[Homos|gay people]] so much, why do you use [[Rainbow]]s in your comics?'''
::A: I do not understand why the [[Chris and Censorship|f***]] the gays decided to use Rainbows as their symbol; that's like asking [[CWCville|Hitler]] why he used [[Mailbag 5|the Swastika]] (which originally was a Lucky Symbol) for [[CWCville|his whole mess]].

*'''Q: What purpose have the [[Chaotic Combo]] served through out the whole comic?'''
::A: It's like asking why [[Sailor Moon]] needed the Sailor Soldiers of the other 8 planets; [[Rule 34|BACKUP, ADVICE and COMRADESHIP]].

*'''Q: Why do you add yourself as a character?'''
::A: If it was good enough for Shinichi Watanabe in [[Excel Saga]] and [[Puni Puni Poemy]], [[Chris and his Ego|it was good enough for me]]. But upon retrospect, I saw why it was a mistake.

==Unanswered==
===From [[Mailbag 58]]===
*'''Q: What do you think of people who read both Sonichu and Asperchu? Do you think they are loyal fans?

*'''Q: Have you considered letting more comic series onto the the [[CWCipedia]]?

*'''Q: Would you date someone who loved the [[Xbox]] as much as you love [[PS3]] and hates PS3 as much as you do the Xbox?

*'''Q: If only [[slow in the minds]] could be turned into [[jerkops]], why didn't you get turned into one?

*'''Q: Why do you refuse to buy [[Bob|your father]] nice gifts and just settle for cheap candy or even nothing?

*'''Q: You say you're against the death penalty, so why is it that in your most recent comic pages you decided to kill off the Asperpedia crew?

*'''Q: Do you wish you could punish the [[Asperpedia|Asperpals]] in real life the same way you did in [[Sonichu 10|your most recent comic book]]?

*'''Q: [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Why are things a fact when said by you, but an opinion when said by others?]]

*'''Q: What has been your greatest victory over the [[trolls]]?

*'''Q: What has been your biggest defeat at the hands of trolls?

===From [[Mailbag 59]]===
*'''Q:Why do you put Sonichu on your [[resume]] if you don't want it to be a job?

{{Mailbag}}

Common Questions

2014-07-23T22:34:09Z

Ty Delle: /* From Mailbag 58 */

In late [[December 2009]], the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag|Mailbags]] gained a new subsection, a series of short questions allegedly asked by many people who had written to Chris. Chris was surprisingly diligent about answering all of these '''Common Questions''' (normal people would call them "Frequently Asked Questions" - "FAQ") with every new Mailbag. The answers, unsurprisingly, were erratic at best. Sometimes Chris provided [[Honest Content|far too much information]], and other times he would provide a single word in response when a longer answer would have been expected. On occasion, he would change the text in the question itself to suit his needs, a practice of editing he'd been using in the mailbags since day one.

All of his answers have been compiled here, arranged by the date on which he answered them.

==28 December 2009==

*'''Q: Have you ever read any books on how to go about creating [[art]]? e.g. [[Wikipedia:Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain|Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain]], [[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]], How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, [[Mailbag 26#In which Chris's brain starts to work!|On Writing]], or things like internet tutorials?'''
::A: [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|I have read such books]], and I have taken many [[art]]s classes too.

*'''Q: If you were a director [[A CWC Audition|in Hollywood]], what kinds of films would you make?'''
::A: Action/Steamy ([[Chris and English|Striaght]]) Romance

*'''Q: You said you read [[R.L. Stine]] books when you were in high school. What kind of books do you read now? "Literary" fiction? Genre, like mystery or horror or science fiction? Nonfiction?'''
::A: I read less books now, although the last book I read was [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]]'s Star.

*'''Q: Have you considered creating non-[[Sonichu]] comics or stories?'''
::A: Yes, and the ideas are still in my head.

*'''Q: Have you ever accepted and used constructive criticism in your comics? Or do you blow off anything anyone says that is slightly negative, even if their intentions are to help you improve your art?'''
::A: I have accepted and used ideas and criticism one such example was the [[Sonichu Fan Promo|Sonichu Animations from YouTube User: Timmys1984]]; it was very good, yet the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my [[Sonichu 9|9th Book]].

*'''Q: Why do you steal jokes from so many other sources (i.e. [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]]) and put it in your comics? It isn't very original and you can't come up with an original concept if all the humor in your comics is stolen.'''
::A: Like Family Guy, [[The Simpsons|Simpsons]], Excel Saga, and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "[[wikipedia:Simpsons_Already_Did_It|Simpsons Did It]]."

*'''Q: Describe your artistic process. How do you get inspiration for ideas for your comics? What goes through your head when you draw and color your comics?'''
::A: I get the idea beforehand in random thought/imagination/dream, get pen and paper and write/draw it out. A lot goes through my head, and it is hard for me as a [[Chris and his Ego|creative genius]] to remember it all on-the-spot verbatim.

*'''Q: We all know you have [[autism]], but exactly what type do you have? There are multiple types on the spectrum.'''
::A: High-Functioning Autism.

*'''Q: What do you plan to do after you have found your true [[sweetheart]] and had your daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]?'''
::A: I will live my family life as I had dreamed and waited for hapily.

*'''Q: What would you do if either of you turned out to be infertile?'''
::A: That is just plain stupid; I am VERY Fertile; Certified in the Medical Clinic, and I would make sure my woman has not hit Menopause yet.

*'''Q: What would you do if you found your sweetheart, fell in love with her, married her, but she could only give birth to male children?.'''
::A: It is a 50/50 chance among all women; I trust God to come through in his promise as he has told me before. I will keep trying though; I am not [[Wikipedia:Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII]].

*'''Q: Aside from creating Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] and excluding your future accomplishment of getting a true sweetheart and having your daughter Crystal, what is your greatest accomplishment in life and why?'''
::A: Graduating [[Manchester_High_School|High School]] and [[College]]; I have learned a LOT and met the requirements; it's all good.

*'''Q: What are your top five priorities in life and why?'''
::A: 1) Good [[Health]] - Who wants to be ill or sick? 2) Happiness - I don't like being [[CWC is sad|sad]]. 3) [[Love Quest|Love]] - I want to feel loved and appreciated by my closest ones. 4) Projects/Job - It gives me something to do. 5) [[Money]] - It does not make the world go around, but everyone wants it to feel like they are getting something out of a deal.

*'''Q: If you were made the absolute leader of the entire world for a day and your word was taken as law, what sorts of things would you do to make the world a better place?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples]], leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All [[gays]] would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.

*'''Q: What about fucking [[sex toys|sex dolls]], [[masturbating]], drawing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|smut]]? Isn't this all forbidden for true Christians?'''
::A: It is not forbidden; that would be the Jews who are against those things, and I am not Jewish, and I respect them as [[Michael Snyder|individual people.]]

*'''Q: Contrary to what you stated in issue 8, the age of consent in most of the United States is BELOW 18 (17 or 16). What is your opinion on this?'''
::A: I understand that SOME states have that law, and I feel that it is good; [[Pedofork|it broadens the range by one or two years, so one would feel lest restricted]].

*'''Q: What would you say is the most romantic thing you have ever done with or to a woman?'''
::A: [[The Creepy Stare|Sensual, emotionally-linked eye-contact]].

*'''Q: We've been hearing about your creations becoming more and more popular amongst the gay community. What are your thoughts on this?'''
::A: Firstly, their perspectives of my work are flawed; they misunderstand some points, and I do not care for that at all; It is a STRAIGHT Comic; [[Homos]]exuality Lifestyle is HEAVILY DISCOURAGED and DETESTED. Second, I really feel hatred in them placing MY characters in their events WRONGFULLY, even in... [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]]... pride parades and essays promoting their lifestyle. All of My [[Magi-Chan|Sonichus]] and [[Silvana|Rosechus]] Are Straight! And I Am Straight! DO NOT SAY OTHERWISE, Because It is Mislabeling; it is Very Wrong, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.

*'''Q: Do you plan to give an ending to Sonichu's story?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|No]].

*'''Q: Do Sonichu and Rosechu have full names (that is, two-part names, like all other [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]])? If so, what are they?'''
::A: No, they are the very first Sonichu and Rosechu, so they do not have such names.

*'''Q: Will [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Eevails]], or possibly some other [[Tails]]-like creature, appear in your comic?'''
::A: No.

==31 December 2009==

*'''Q: What do you think about people harassing others over [[PlayStation]] home?'''
::A: I do not like it at all.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: [[Homos|''Brokeback Mountain'']], [[Wikipedia:Borat|''Borat'']], [[Homos|''Bruno, Crying Game'']], ''[[Wikipedia:Krull (film)|Krull]]''.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst TV shows you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: I am unsure.

''Note: Chris added the strikeouts himself.''

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst video games you have ever played?'''
::A: I am unsure.

*'''Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Mary Poppins]], All [[Transformers]] Movies, Both [[Ghostbusters|Ghostbuster]] Movies, [[Saw|All Saw Movies]], [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|The 40-Year Old Virgin]].

*'''Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Transformers]] (ALL Seasons and Sets), [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (All Shows), [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] (All Seasons), [[Wikipedia:Mythbusters|Mythbusters]], [[Filmation's Ghostbusters]] (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE [[Honest_Content#True_and_Honest,_HOnest_and_True|ORIGINAL]] REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

*'''Q: What are the 5 best video games you have ever played?'''
::A: All [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog Titles]], [[LittleBiGPlanet]] ([[PS3]] AND [[PSP]]), All [[Guitar Hero]] Titles, All [[Animal Crossing]] Titles, All Pok'emon Titles.

*'''Q: Have you read classic comics like: [[Wikipedia:A Contract With God|A Contract With God]], [[Wikipedia:Maus|Maus]], [[Wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]], or [[Wikipedia:The Sandman (Vertigo)|The Sandman]]?'''
::A: [[Wikipedia:Superman|Superman]], [[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]] and the like.

*'''Q: Could you mention any specific titles or series of comics you have read (besides [[Sonic the Hedgehog]])?'''
::A: [[Wikipedia:Superman|Superman]], [[Wikipedia:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]] and the like.

*'''Q: What's your creative process like?'''
::A: [[Random]], Extensive, [[Autism|Tough to Comprehend]] sometimes...

*'''Q: How do you go about creating each comic--do you do storyboards or scriptwriting beforehand?'''
::A: Mental Storyboards and Scriptwriting, but I do write some of it out on paper.

*'''Q: How far in advance do you plan the story?'''
::A: About weeks to months in advance.

*'''Q: Besides [[Sonic]], [[Pokemon]], and your daily struggles, what inspires your [[writing]] and [[art]]?'''
::A: [[Things Chris has ripped off|Other shows, comics, video games]], and most importantly my [[Evan|Fans]]. :)

*'''Q: Did any specific comic book inspire you to create your own?'''
::A: I'd say the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|Sonic the Hedgehog Comic Book Series]]

*'''Q: Why comics as opposed to short stories/novels?'''
::A: I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], and I feel better with having pictures to associate the words with.

*'''Q: Would you ever consider getting a massage?'''
::A: Yes, [[Women's rights|from Women Only.]]

*'''Q: What is your purpose in life?'''
::A: Does anyone really know their own [[China|ONE TRUE purpose in life]]? We mostly are supposed to live one moment and day at a time as best we can to make us individually feel [[Love Quest|satisfied]] and at [[Tomgirl|peace]].

*'''Q: Do you believe in an afterlife?'''
::A: [[Chris and Religion#Afterlife|Yes]].

*'''Q: What do you think happens after we die?'''
::A: Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in [[Wikipedia:Heaven|Heaven]] or [[Wikipedia:Hell|Hell]] depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and [[Chris and Religion|possibly Reincarnation]].

==1 January 2010==

*'''Q: Where do you think you'll go after you die and why do you think that will be the case?'''
::A: I do my best and what I can to end up in [[Heaven]] , [[Lie|I do a lot of good deeds]].

*'''Q: You follow the Bible rigorously and believe homosexuality will send you to [[Wikipedia:Hell|Hell]]. However, the Bible says that having unmarried sex will send you to Hell as well. Explain your reasonings you choose to ignore God's word and not waiting until after marriage but instead "after the [[Third date|3rd date]]".'''
::A:Those more strict rules apply to the [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]], especially the [[Wikipedia:Boook of Leviticus|book of Leviticus]]. I am a Christian [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]], and as long as we feel comfortable and happy with our lives, if the Christian individual feels comfortable with [[Chris and sex|premarital sex]], then it is [[Chris and Hypocrisy|cool]].

*'''Q: Can you justify your anti-homosexuality? How exactly?'''
::A: Yes; the [[Homos]] I have heard from [[Tomgirl|try to push their damn lifestyle in my face]], and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.

*'''Q: Why does [[Rosechu]] wear clothes while Sonichu does not? Additionally, why are [[Lolisa]], [[DJ Jamsta]], and Rosechu the only Sonichus and Rosechus who wear clothing?'''
::A: Well, Why does [[Wikipedia:The Yogi Bear Show#Cindy Bear|Cindy Bear]] not wear clothes? Why does [[Wikipedia:Mickey Mouse|Mickey Mouse]] wear pants yet [[Sonic]] and [[Wikipedia:Donald Duck|Donald Duck]] do not? Why does [[Wikipedia:Daisy Duck|Daisy Duck]] wear ONLY a Top, yet [[Wikipedia:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]] wears a skirt? IT'S A CARTOON; WHO CARES?!

*'''Q: Are the [[Sonichu comics|''Sonichu'' comics]] still aimed at children? If so, what age group?'''
::A: Yes, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ages 7 and Up]].

*'''Q: I am really interested in your [[Lego]] [[CWCville]], could you please draw an elaborate map of it for me?'''
::A: One Day, I will draw a map, although it is similar to the City of Cwcville, VA.

==5 January 2010==

*'''Q: If [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] got published how much would each Issue cost?'''
::A: I'd estimate $2.25, given the current shelf-comic prices. But ON the [[PS3|Playstation Network]]'s Digital Comic Service, I'd estimate $0.99 or $1.99 per Digital Issue.

*'''Q: How often does [[Sonichu]] have to stop and take breaks when he's running?'''
::A: He only stops for a rescue, [[China|social life]], [[Obesity|eating a chili dog, tacos or whatever he feels like chowin' down]], and to relax at home with [[Robbie Sonee|his family]].

*'''Q: [[Virginia]] lets you to [[Wikipedia:Cousin marriage law in the United States by state|marry your first cousin]], but doesn't allow [[gays]] to marry. Do you think cousin-marriage is better than gay marriage? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and anger|WHAT THE F***?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT C***PIEST OF HEINOUS LIES ABOUT VIRGINIA?!]] Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN [[Barbara|MOTHER]] OR [[Bob|FATHER]]! In comparison, both unholy marriages are equally terrible.

==7 January 2010==

*'''Q: You said that you confess your sins and pray every night. What sins do you confess?'''
::A: To name a couple: I apologize right after each time I say something like "God damn" (I'm sorry, God); I confess and apologize for, if any that day, angry responses to [[Bob|my own father]] after he starts an arguement or gets on my nerves.

*'''Q: What exactly happened when you were called into [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s office?'''
::A: That was one time I would rather not go into or recall. She raised her voice at me in harsh tones about how "You won't be getting any women" or "Your methods are flawed and stupid" and even "You are Stupid, Christian". I responded very angrily and verbally abused her back. Then I was kicked out for a year with [[Wikipedia:Anger Management|Anger management]] and [[Wikipedia:Psychiatrist|psychiatrist]] assistance.

*'''Q: Why do you [[Autism|randomly capitalize words when you type?]]'''
::A: I do not type in [[Chris and hypocrisy|Caps at Random]]; I type those phrases or words in caps to EMPHASIZE MY POINT OR FACT.

*'''Q: When did you first realize that you hated the homos? Do your parents hate them as much as you do?'''
::A: I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a [[Lesbian]]." That, combined with my PAST dislike of [[JERKS|MEN]] in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a [[Sonichu]] BALLOON in one of their God [[Chris and English|DAMED]] Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE! And I will say this again, '''SONICHU IS STRAIGHT, YOU DUMBASS GAYWADS.'''

==9 January 2010==

*'''Q: What do you think of people of different faiths other than your own (this includes [[Wikipedia:Satanism|Satanism]],[[Wikipedia:Atheism|Atheism]], [[Wikipedia:Agnosticism|Agnosticism]])'''
::A: For most other religions, I am of neutral opinion and have no objections to them whatsoever. But for ALL those of Satanism and Atheism; I do not care for those Non-Religions AT ALL. [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|I will not discriminate]] the people of those Non-Religions as Individual People.

*'''Q: How do you feel about [[Homos|the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual community]]? do they deserve the same rights as anyone else?'''
::A: As individual people, they all deserve Most Rights, but GAY MARRIAGE Should be made Illegal ALL Countries; Marriage is ONLY for Straight Man/Woman couples. I stand behind that most fully.

*'''Q: How do you feel about people of different political parties, political parties spanning from Anarchism to Fascism.'''
::A: As a Moderate (of Middle, Neutral Opinion), I have nothing against the other political parties. Mainly, because even though I do have the ability to learn about them, I know not ALL of the details of them.

*'''Q: How do you feel about Drugs? Drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigarettes, [[Alcohol]], etc.'''
::A: I STAND FULLY AGAINST [[Tobacky|Cigarettes, Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigars]] and ALL other Drugs of the sort. The only exceptions are drugs that are Prescribed to the Individual Person, as long as they are not given to anyone they were not originally prescribed to, I have no objections. And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, irresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to [[6 June 2010|fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents]].

*'''Q: Do you hold any distaste for any worldly culture?'''
::A: Only those who fully promote [[Tobacky|smoking]] or such drugs that I have just elaborated against of.

*'''Q: Are you uncomfortable about [[Chris and race|people of Color]]? do you have any tensions towards them?'''
::A: I have no discomfort or tension against people of all colors. The only exception is in my choice of [[Sweetheart]] or Mate; No Personal Offense, but she can not be [[Niggos|Black]].

*'''Q: Are you disturbed or disgusted by different types of music?''' Many people dislike [[Wikipedia:Death Metal|Death Metal]]: [http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5 http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5]
::A: I have agreement on some lyrics of Death Metal tracks, but the Tune, as long as it is not at loud volume, it is still good.

*'''Q: What do you think of our current president? Is he deceiving [[America]]ns as the Right Wing has expressed?'''
::A: I think [[Obama]] is doing okay, yet I disagree with his Health Plan; it is premature at the time, because we can not afford it yet. The Right Wing are [[Bob Chandler|sour]], mean people; I give no concern to them.

*'''Q: Do you think Countries such as the Soviet Union or [[CWCville|North Korea]] Are actually Communist?'''
::A: I do not know much about those countries, so I can not give a full opinion on the topic. Although I do hate Communism; [[Monthly Tugboat |they are of wrong opinions and are considerably mean]].

*'''Q: How do you think the situation in Afghanistan is going? Is there anything you would do different?'''
::A: I do not have full knowledge of that situation either.

*'''Q. Would you be willing to preform oral sex on a woman?'''
::A: Yes I would.

*'''Q. You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?'''
::A: Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and Reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say [[Autism|"Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."]]

*'''Q. Have you ever thought about documenting your daily life? Kind of like a reality show?'''
::A: The topic has come to mind, yet I do not feel it appropriate yet.

*'''Q. Do you eat at restaurants other than [[McDonalds]] or [[Burger King]]?'''
::A: Yes, namely [[Golden Corral]], [[Country Cookin']] and iHop.

*'''Q. Do you ever consider playing [[Guitar Hero]] on expert instead of hard?'''
::A: I have played on Expert, and it is good.

*'''Q. What do you argue about with your dad?'''
::A: A number of things; I would not know where to begin on making the list of dumb topics he comes up with.

*'''Q. Why do you want to get the original [[Power Rangers]] back together? They're 40, no longer fit the costumes, one of them is dead, and one of them went to jail for drunk driving.'''
::A: Originally, I meant ONLY to '''[[Revive Zordon]]'''; I mean PRESIDENTS, POLICE CHIEFS and such Recruiting Power Rangers and Creating Zords? Not only is it Trite and LAME, it is not as CLASSIC or Good Quality as Zordon.

*'''Q. Do your parents freak out about you playing with [[My Little Pony|girl's toys]] when you're a grown man?'''
::A: No, they do not, and I gave that up [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|long ago]].

*'''Q. What other ideas did you think of to attract women before you settled on a cardboard sign?'''
::A: Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; [[Chris and Money|THEY COST MONEY]].

*'''Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?'''
::A: I am [[Chris and reality|ALREADY GROWN UP]]; I am 27 Years Old, going on 28. I am a [[Chris and reality|great artist]], and I am looking forward to an Office Job.

==15 January 2010==

*'''Q: If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the [[friend zone]]? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?'''
::A: Nothing has happened in [[Women's Rights]]; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone [[Megan|the woman]] deeply cares about and trusts so she could [[Chris and rape|get out of sex]] or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.

*'''Q: Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?'''
::A: Non-gay stuff is acceptable, but I don't like EVERYTHING I SEE; there are some things, even straight things, that I don't like either.

*'''Q: [http://www.ratpacker.com/Images/Core_Commander.gif| If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you? ]'''
::A: I do not think so.

*'''Q: Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed [[List of Chris's games|every game you played]].'''
::A: I just could not think of any that would total up to five.

*'''Q: If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?'''
::A: I am not sure.

*'''Q: Why do you like the name "[[Reginald]]" so much?'''
::A: Because [[PandaHalo|a woman]] who was close to me picked it out for the son in our role-play scenario; now she's [[Chris and death|dead]], and I still miss her sometimes.

*'''Q: Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?'''
::A: Whatever; I do not care.

*'''Q: [[Christian Love Day|Why did you get rid of asexuality in Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single? '''
::A: It had occured to me about asexuality recently from a mailbag question, and made me think about it, and NOT being able to FEEL the Attraction is Just Sad.

*'''Q: In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]] left you?'''
::A: I would not want them to leave; they are still fans.

*'''Q: Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so? '''
::A: Yes I have considered it. [[Chris and money|Current financial situations]] and fear of change (a common [[Autistic]] Trait) prevents me from doing so.

*'''Q: If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?'''
::A: ONLY if that was the case, I would say Shoot Me.

*'''Q: Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?'''
::A: It's one of the flaws in recording with Sony's EyeCreate Program (a downloadable Playstation 3 Application that requires the [[PSEye|Playstation Eye Camera]]); THEY NEED TO FIX THE PROGRAM, not only of that tint from Lack Of Some Light, but the Audio/Video skips that seems to occur during recording.

*'''Q: You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?'''
::A: NO, because Homosexuality is STILL WRONG.

*'''Q: Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?'''
::A: Oh, I don't know, how about being a [[Virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]?!

*'''Q: Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?'''
::A: That is Bull[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|c***]].

*'''Q: Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?'''
::A: To name a few: [[Wikipedia:Jenna Jameson|Jenna Jameson]], [[Wikipedia:Daisy Marie|Daisy Marie]] and [[Wikipedia:Carmen Luvana|Carmen Luvana]].

*'''Q: Do you have any friends in the Autistic community?'''
::A: Only a few Acquaintances.

==20 January 2010==

*'''Q: Have you ever considered the possibility that you may never lose your [[Virgin with rage|virginity]]? What will you do then? How old do you think is too old to be a virgin?'''
::A: No. The next question is Non-Applicable. [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|40]].

*'''Q: If you could have sex with one famous woman, living or historical, who would it be?'''
::A: [[Britney Spears]].

*'''Q: Why do you think [[Asperchu]] currently has 10 times as many fans as Sonichu?'''
::A: "Fans" are fickle, and so are "Fads"; the Non-True Fans will always look for the Next "Fad" until they tire of it and move on to the next "Fad". In this note, I would say that I am Possibly Retro, and [[Chris and Fashion|Retro is ALWAYS IN]].

*'''Q: Would you say your life has improved since thinking up [[Sonichu]]? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and his ego|Yes; I became famous]], and becoming famous is not an easy task.

*'''Q: Do you know what the word "[[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]]" means?'''
::A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) [[Chris and religion|to be of a belief while not upholding that belief.]] 2) [[List of Chris's lies|a total liar.]] 3) an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a [[Asperchu|newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a '''hypocrite''' among the [[Fanbase|Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].

*'''Q: I noticed that you have [[The Simpsons|a Marge Simpson poster]] on [[Chris's room|your wall]]. Do you find her sexually appealing and if yes why?'''
::A: That is the pin-up from a "[[Wikipedia:Playboy (magazine)|Playboy]]" a few months ago. She is appealing, yes, but I am more attracted to the real-life women around us all.

*'''Q: What's with all the pictures of Rosechu with a [[pickle]] on the internet? I thought she was supposed to be ALL WOMAN?'''
::A: Rosechu IS All Woman; she transformed from a Female Raichu; those people are just being stupid [[jerk]]s with such "renditions".

*'''Q: How do you expect to keep us last remaining fans by stop working on the comic pages?'''
::A: I am drawing pages every day; just be patient and have full faith, unless you want to be considered a '''hypocrite''' among True, Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fans.

==26 January 2010==
*'''Q: If Rosechu is a Raichu, that means she's more evolved then Sonichu, who is a Pikachu. Shouldn't she be more powerful than Sonichu and be the leader?'''
::A: Evolution makes no difference; Rosechu is equally as powerful as Sonichu; Sonichu is the main character; Rosechu has equal leadership roles, so [[Women's rights|she leads when appropriate]].

*'''Q: Why do you think you are better artist than [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]], aside from low-resolution and his style's blockiness? Is there something wrong to have quirky and blocky drawing style?'''
::A: How about the fact that his style looks [[Slow-in-the-minds|Retarded]] and something that [[Chris and hypocrisy|a 2-Year Old can do]]? There's nothing wrong, unless you want to be TRULY Respected as [[Chris and art|an Avid Artist]] and [[Chris_and_reality|Serious Person.]]

*'''Q: Why is [[Flame the Sunbird]] a ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Kazooie|Kazooie]]?'''
::A: Flame was NEVER taken from Kazooie; if anything, he is MORE similar to [[Sonic|Knuckles]], but with a Sunbird Form.

*'''Q: You have expressed disdain for Asperchu and [[Simonchu]], but how do you feel about [[Moon-Pals]]? Have you read it? If not, it would only be fair for you to do so.'''
::A: I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way [[Sean]] draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely.

*'''Q: How many fans do you think you have? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: [[Chris and his Ego|1000000000+.]]

*'''Q: How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: 0-10
''Chris left this last question unanswered until 30 January.''

==30 January 2010==
*'''Q: Will you ever be able to accept criticism without being condescending or changing the subject?'''
::A: [[Lie|Yes]].

*'''Q: Capital punishment (the Death Penalty) is legal in the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]]. Do you support the death penalty?'''
::A: [[9 February 2010|I do not support the death penalty]].

*'''Q: Could you post the letter you sent to [[Barack Obama]] on the [[CWCipedia]]?'''
::A: I am afraid I did not make a photocopy of the letter, and I had snail-mailed it weeks ago, so I can not do that.

*'''Q: You talk about how [[Asperchu]] is just a fad, but what if Sonichu is actually the fad that's starting to fade?'''
::A: I disagree.

*'''Q: If Rosechu is equal to Sonichu in power why does she need to be saved by him?'''
::A: [[Women's rights|She was caught off-guard at those times.]]

==1 February 2010==
*'''Q: Why do people who "[[Mailbag 49#Apparently that's reason enough|tick you off]]" [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|deserve to die in explosions]]? Didn't Matthew say to love thy enemy?'''
::A: [[Lie|I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way]].

*'''Q: If you don't support [[Sonichu 10|the death penalty]], that means you believe all life is sacred, right? Then why do you call for the deaths of [[Homos|gays]]? Is it only straight people who shouldn't get the death penalty?'''
::A: [[Death threats|All Life IS sacred]].

*'''Q: How come you become more and more like a dictator like [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|Kim Jong Il]], [[wikipedia:Hugo Chavez|Hugo Chavez]], or [[Wikipedia:Vladimir Putin|Vladimir Putin]] with your mailbags?'''
::A: [[CWCville|I am NOT a Dictator.]] Why are you giving me an even WORSE Mislabeling than the [[Homos]]exual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again?

*'''Q: Why did you choose to show the first [[Niggos|black]] character in the series in a negative and racist light?'''
::A: [[Inos|That one]] is NOT a recurring character; the one who WILL be recurring characters are and will be like [[Jerkop|Police Officers]] like [[Louis Perez]].

*'''Q: Why did [[Ultra Sonichu]] cure [[Aspergers]], but did nothing for the physically challenged Rosechus in [[CWCville]]?'''
::A: Mental Problems can be cured Easier than Physical.

*'''Q: Why do you constantly [[Mailbag|edit the letters]] you receive? Don't you think it is insulting and rude?'''
::A: I am working on that, and Editing Less.

*'''Q: Do you like zombies? What weapon would you use to defend yourself in the zombie apocalypse? Where would you hold out?'''
::A: No, I do not like zombies. I would use a [[Megatron pistol|Gun]]. [[14 Branchland Court|Where I can]].

*'''Q: If you claim to respect your fans, why is it okay for you to "promise" to do a [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] page everyday, and then not keep up on that promise?'''
::A: I am [[Chris and art|drawing the pages For Real]]; Hand-to-God. I have other life problems that delay me from getting them scanned and online sooner; Shoveling Snow, [[Chores]], [[Biological clock|Earlier Bedtime]] and Routine Resituating.

*'''Q: Why don't you just draw [[Wild]] a new girlfriend, so you can remove [[Simonla]] like [[Evan]] asked you to? Most people have more than one relationship in their lives, so it should not be that much of a problem. Or a you so uncreative that you can not think of a new character?'''
::A: I have stated before that when ONE finds [[Boyfriend-free girl|their Match]], they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple.

==22 February 2010==
*'''Q: How come your comics [[art]] hasn't improved since [[2005]], do you think you've reached your limit when it's come to the art of [[Sonichu (comic)|the Sonichu comic]]?'''
::A: On the contrary, my [[Chris and art|drawing skills]] have improved greatly over the years, yet it may be subtle and not obvious.

*'''Q: Why do you have a bedtime when you are around 30 years old?'''
::A: Everybody needs to [[Biological clock|sleep a while]] to recover energy from the past day.

*'''Q: What do you think of legally blind people?'''
::A: They're okay; they are keen to their other senses, and that is admirable. I have neutral to positive opinions of the legally blind.

*'''Q: Hey, Chris, what were your favorite after-school activities when you were a kid?'''
::A: [[Video games]] and Homework.

*'''Q: Were you ever involved in sports besides being the [[Bionic|basketball]] towelboy, or did you take music lessons or art classes outside of school?'''
::A: I took a lot of Physical Education classes; I did not take classes outside of school before [[PVCC|college]].

*'''Q: If you can't get [[Son-Chu|your car]] out because of the snow, shouldn't now be the perfect time to work on updating [[Sonichu (comic)|your comic]]?'''
::A: I have been working on the comic the whole time, as you will see very soon.

*'''Q: What's your favorite food? Does your mom ever cook at home? If she asked you to fix dinner, what would you do?'''
::A: Macaroni and Cheese; Yes; a small meal or soup.

*'''Q: Are there any [[video games]] out right now that you really want to play, but haven't gotten a chance to yet?'''
::A: [[Fanmail Reading|The Orange Box]], [[God of War]] III and Heavy Rain.
::''Note: neither God of War III nor [[Wikipedia:Heavy Rain|Heavy Rain]] had been released when Chris answered this question.''

*'''Q: If you could change anything about yourself physically, what would you change and why?'''
::A: Weigh myself down to [[WeighIn|180 pounds]].

*'''Q: How often do you shower?'''
::A: [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Nightly]].

*'''Q: How often do you visit with friends and family outside of the house?'''
::A: Sometimes.

*'''Q: Do you enjoy [[20 December 2009|playing]] with your [[cats]]?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Do you actually play with all the [[toys]] in your room? If not, why not donate some to children who actually will play with them?'''
::A: I do sometimes play with all my toys.

*'''Q: Do you envy Sonichu for having [[Rosechu|a wife]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|kids]]?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: Which of the Rosechus is the sexiest in your opinion?'''
::A: The Original [[Rosechu]].

*'''Q: If [[Chores|shoveling snow]] is that hard for you, why don't you just pay some kid [[Chris and money|$10]] to shovel your driveway?'''
::A: [[Obesity|Hard work is good for me]].

*'''Q: From between Issues [[Sonichu 0|#0]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]] Which [[Electric Hedgehog pokemon]] do you like least and why?'''
::A: [[Silvana Rosechu]], because of the [[Troll]] Influences, I felt forced to let [[Graduon]] magically make her a hermaphrodite for the sake of "TRANSFORM".

*'''Q: Have any of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|the Sonichus and Rosechus]] ever considered "[[Wikipedia:Swinging|swinging]]," aka swapping [[sex]] partners for the night?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: What are the ten worst things that have happened to you in your life?'''
::A: 1) [[Troll]]s Pestering Me Constantly. 2) [[Julie|Learning that Ohio woman was actually a 13-year old boy]]. 3) Having[[PSN|my accounts]] hacked into. 4) [[Clyde Cash]] breaking into my ORIGINAL, which hosted The Original "[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC's Sonichu Site]]", Tripod Account and screwing it up Royally. 5) Being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] by that S.O.B., '''[[Michael Snyder]]'''; we never saw eye-to-eye, and for [[Chris and anger|some UNCOMPREHENDIBLE Reason]], aside from that time with my [[Nintendo|Wii]], He Hated Me, Period. 6) Learning of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Website late October, [[2007]], followed by learning [[Lucas|TWO OF]] [[Mimms|THE TROLLS]] were old Pokémon TCG comrades in that same League I used to go to HAD PART in the creation of that D*** E.D. Page. 7) The loss of two True and Good Women who I had friendships with, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie ([[PandaHalo]]), and [[Sarah Jackson]]. 8) Being banned from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a year. 9) Having to leave behind all of my [[Gal-pal|Girl Friends]] from [[High School]] after Graduation. 10) [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade]]. 11) The [[Autism]].

*'''Q: Chris, what are the good deeds you have done that earn you the right to go to heaven?'''
::A: I have done a lot of good in my life, yet I did some bad, [[Chris and remorse|most of which was accidental, unintentional or beyond my knowledge]]. To name a few good things: holding the door for many people in various places, [[Chris and Death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|honoring my promises]], [[Chris and anger|being friendly and kind in person]], [[Chris and money|donating to various causes and a lot of other good things]].

*'''Q: Why does [[homos]]exuality immediately condemn the person to hell regardless of how good they are?'''
::A: I can not say; ask a Priest or Pastor.

*'''Q: At what age did you officially become mayor of [[CWCville]]?'''
::A: [[Sonichu chronology#2000|18]]

*'''Q: At what age will [[Daughter|your future daughter]] inherit the title of mayor of [[CWCville]]?'''
::A: 13 - 18

*'''Q: You know that crystal isn't a kind of metal, right?'''
::A: I know that; cyrstal is a kind of [[wikipedia:Mineral|Mineral]].

*'''Q: Who came up with the "Chris Chan" nickname?'''
::A: I did; it's the first halves of my first and last names, Chris tian Chan dler, and it has a "[[Punchy|Jackie Chan]]" feel to it.

*'''Q: What inspired you to create Sonichu?'''
::A: The [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD Cover Project]] for [[CADD|Computer Graphics]] during my [[Chris and english|Seinor]] Year at [[Manchester High]]; [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]].

*'''Q: Even though you've created him for over a decade, did [[Sonichu]] ever helped you accomplished anything?'''
::A: Yes; see myself as a better person.

*'''Q: Why did the [[Wailord]] dropped a boulder on [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble]]'s adoptive mother [[Swampert]]?'''
::A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like [[Wikipedia:Barnacle|Barnicles]], and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.

*'''Q: Since you hate [[Homos|gay people]] so much, why do you use [[Rainbow]]s in your comics?'''
::A: I do not understand why the f*** the gays decided to use Rainbows as their symbol; that's like asking [[CWCville|Hitler]] why he used [[Mailbag 5|the Swastika]] (which originally was a Lucky Symbol) for [[CWCville|his whole mess]].

*'''Q: What purpose have the [[Chaotic Combo]] served through out the whole comic?'''
::A: It's like asking why [[Sailor Moon]] needed the Sailor Soldiers of the other 8 planets; BACKUP, ADVICE and COMRADESHIP.

*'''Q: Why do you add yourself as a character?'''
::A: If it was good enough for Shinichi Watanabe in [[Excel Saga]] and [[Puni Puni Poemy]], [[Chris and his Ego|it was good enough for me]]. But upon retrospect, I saw why it was a mistake.

==Unanswered==
===From [[Mailbag 58]]===
*'''Q: What do you think of people who read both Sonichu and Asperchu? Do you think they are loyal fans?

*'''Q: Have you considered letting more comic series onto the the [[CWCipedia]]?

*'''Q: Would you date someone who loved the [[Xbox]] as much as you love [[PS3]] and hates PS3 as much as you do the Xbox?

*'''Q: If only [[slow in the minds]] could be turned into [[jerkops]], why didn't you get turned into one?

*'''Q: Why do you refuse to buy [[Bob|your father]] nice gifts and just settle for cheap candy or even nothing?

*'''Q: You say you're against the death penalty, so why is it that in your most recent comic pages you decided to kill off the Asperpedia crew?

*'''Q: Do you wish you could punish the [[Asperpedia|Asperpals]] in real life the same way you did in [[Sonichu 10|your most recent comic book]]?

*'''Q: [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Why are things a fact when said by you, but an opinion when said by others?]]

*'''Q: What has been your greatest victory over the [[trolls]]?

*'''Q: What has been your biggest defeat at the hands of trolls?

===From [[Mailbag 59]]===
*'''Q:Why do you put Sonichu on your [[resume]] if you don't want it to be a job?

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 43

2014-07-23T22:10:28Z

Ty Delle: /* "Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work" */

'''Mailbag 43''' was uploaded onto the [[CWCipedia]] on 19 [[January 2010]] and answered on 21 January 2010. This is the first official [[Mailbag]] following [[Chris]]'s decree of no [[Asperchu]] letters.

Amongst this set of letters, we get another answer as to why Chris hates Asperchu, explains why he turned Asperchu into [[Mitch Sonichu]], he also tells a letter writer who calls him out on his Asperchu manifesto to go fuck himself and removes another letter that calls him out on his Christian overtones, especially how he made [[Ultra Sonichu]] into [[Jesus]].

Perhaps the most bizarre letter is his response to [[Evan]], where he claims that Simonchu (Evan's fictional character) has already attempted to convince [[Simonla]] to leave [[CWCville]]. In fact, he writes what amounts to a ([[Chris and writing|terrible]]) short story to justify his continued use of Simonla in his comic.

On 26 January 2010, Chris moved the letter telling the person to go fuck himself into the Rejected Mailbag.

==Answered==
==="Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work"===
{{Email|From: Apple Pie <effence@yahoo.ca>
Hi,

I find it strange that you think Asperchu is bad for swears and anti-religiousness when your favorite shows like [[South Park]] and [[Family Guy]] do the exact same thing. Please explain your logic.}}
{{EmailReply|It is because "Asperchu" is considered a parody to My Sonichu and Myself, and to have the comparisons between the two, it is a kick in the bells to have [[Chris and Art|My Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work]] [[Chris and Hypocrisy| compared to such Gross Low-Class, Low-Resolution, Blocky-Style]] stuff like "Asperchu". And from that, I BLAME the artist, Alec Benson Leary, to [[Chris_and_Reality#Fantasy_and_fiction|force the characters]] into such [[Rule 34|shameful and distasteful acts]]. I do not blame the characters, because it is NOT Their fault that their "Director" directs them to do those things.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris defends Ultra Sonichus OPness===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Masaki Sumitani|Masaki Sumitani]] <Hadogei@gmail.com>

Hey, I hope you don't count this as an "Asperchu" question and delete this because it's not:

Some questions about the new pages: 1.) If Ultra Sonichu's powers include curing [[Asperger's Syndrome]], why don't you tell Ultra Sonichu to cure your [[autism]]? 2.) Why do you say that Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu needs a makeover, and that his glasses are terrible, when the outfit he was wearing is the same as one you own, and his [[glasses]] look like your glasses? 3.) Is Ultra Sonichu supposed to be a Christ-like figure? Isn't this kind of blasphemous since Sonichu is a Christian?

Thanks for answering!

Masaki Sumitani}}
{{EmailReply|1) It is a cartoon; it is not like I can summon him into Real Life and use the Chaotic Crystal Power to cure my Mental Block for Real. 2) If you were in Asperchu's situation where you were constantly drawn to LOOK and ACT retarded all the time, would you not want a Makeover to make you more confident, intelligent and such? 3) A Christian Individual, or ANYONE for that matter, has the capability to do such things in acts of generosity; it Does Not necessarily make that individual THE Jesus Christ. The [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] Considered Mine, the Original Sonichu, a Savior, because from the later-named Swift Sonichu, he had Foretold of the True Original coming to their Rescue and Aid. If you were rescued from a life-threatening situation, quick-as-a-flash, by someone, would you not consider that person A Savior or Hero? There is nothing "blasphemous" about the generous deed and act.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===We can watch it ourselves, thanks.===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:List of recurring Monty Python's Flying Circus characters|Ken Shabby]] <spamspamspam@aol.com>

Dear Chris: What [[Monty Python]] sketch is your favorite? Mine is Eric Idle's "Storytime" sketch, which can be seen here:

http://tinyurl.com/ylmgwu4

I find it hilarious because I can't imagine what kind of sick pervert would put that kind of stuff in something intended for children.}}
{{EmailReply|I like the Parrot Sketch. "Look, Matey. This Parrot wouldn't VOOM if I put 4,000 volts through it. It's bleeding demised. It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more; it has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. It is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If he hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an Ex-Parrot. '''You have to complain until you're blue in the mouth to get your way around here'''."}}

===Surrrrrrrrrre...===
{{Email|From: Lars Underwood <kneelbeforelarsunderwood@aol.com>

Chris,

In the Sonichu comics you've drawn your Sonichus and Rosechus praying to you. Do the other citizens of CWCville pray to you, too? The reason I ask is that I'm trying to start a cult, and was wondering how you got people to see you as an all-powerful, Godlike figure. So far my cult is only my girlfriend and a couple of other kids at my high school, but I think that's pretty good for a senior. Any advice for a fellow cult leader?

Lars Underwood}}
{{EmailReply|You are mistaken, I have never drawn my Sonichus and Rosechus praying to ME; they pray to God and Jesus like everyone else. I do not care much for Cults, because they often lead towards a life-threatening situation often.}}

===Chris still hates the gays===
{{Email|From: David Price <dprice22@gmail.com>

Dear Christian,

I apologise for the earlier e-mail in which I enquired about Asperchu and completely overlooked your own talents.

Your recent comic pages, in which you provided a makeover for Asperchu to give him a new look as "Mitch Sonichu", has proved to me that you have your own unique skills and qualities. This makes you perfect for television! We're starting up a remake of a classic TV show in which young, style-setting gentlemen such as yourself give fashion pointers to volunteers.

If you would like to be on the lineup of the brand new, remade "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", please get in touch with me.}}
{{EmailReply|I heard that was a [[gay]] show, and I am Straight, so no thank you.}}

===Chris defends the makeovers===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:R. Dorothy Wayneright|Dot Wayneright]] <neg0t8r@paragoncity.net>

Greetings!

From your latest comic, I see you have cured Asperchu and ''Alec's (Unapproved) Recreation of your'' [[Chaotic Combo]]. I noticed that many of your characters were not happy with their names and role. It's a bold step for a writer to change ''someone else's'' characters around like that. ''However, I was surprised to see that not only did [[Bubbles Rosechu]] forget about [[Blake]] when her name changed to Kitty, but she also claims "she'd hit that," which implies she had a pickle! Has Bubbles always been a hermaphrodite or was this only since your Chaotic Remedy on her?''

Regards,
Dorothy Wayneright}}
''Chris added the first two italicized portions, and deleted the third one from the original letter.''
{{EmailReply|What I have done was only done to Alec's "version" of MY Electric-Hedgehogs; The Original Sonichus and Rosechus are STILL the way they are. Kitty was referring to that the madeover Asperchu, now Mitch Sonichu, looked very handsome.}}

===...Well, this is disturbing!===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>
Why do you think that putting in "evan.ip" in a computer will block
me? That's not even an IP address, that's just my name and the letters
"IP". Furthermore, you do it in your [[comic|COMIC]], not in real life. Do you
think CWCville actually exists or something?

Also take Simonla out of your comic.

-Evan}}
{{EmailReply|No. As a matter of fact, [[Chris and reality|YOUR Simonchu]] came to Cwcville while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True [[Wild Sonichu]] was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the [[Chris and censorship|c***]]-shack known as "Ecgville". ([[CWCville|HOW IS THAT SO-CALLED CITY PRONOUNCED ANYWAY?]] It sounds like a very "Eckie" Ailment, possibly Cold-Like.) Simonchu uses force, yet Wild attacks him with his Razor Leaf and unleashed his grasp of her. Wild says, "The lady said that she does not want to return with you." Simonchu replies, "Listen, shock-breath, I'll quake you away in a rock's-throw." Wild says, "Well, before you can even throw a rock, I will have quick-as-a-flash Vine Whipped you, and launched you to fly back to your Villa of Eck." Wild launches his Vine Whip which was Super-Effective against Simonchu's Ground-Type body, and throws him back to that city in Minnesota.

[[Chris and reality|Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life.]] [[Chris and his Ego|I am the Great Director Chandler!]]

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===Go Fuck Yourself, too!===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, here's my response to your BLATANT CENSORSHIP and DENIAL OF FREE SPEECH in [[Mailbag 41]].

"1) Alec and his crew have No Right Whatsoever on MY original Sonichu/Rosechu Characters; I Never Ever Gave Him OR his crew ANY permission to use them At All."

Did Sega give you permission to use [[Sonic]] and Eggman? How about [[Nintendo]]? Did they let you use Giovanni or any [[Pokemon]]?

No. They didn't. The only way Sonichu can stay afloat is because it is a [[Parody|PARODY]]. And PARODIES do not need to ask permission.

"2) I never gave him permission to place ANY advertisements for his Low-Rate Work and Copycat Website; he bought [[Jack]] Thaddius out WRONGFULLY. I still Disapprove of his ads in any shape or form regardless of image content. "

You have no right to decide on this, the SysOp needs to keep the website up some how. And if it were not for her efforts, the website would have crashed by now.

I mean, she certainly cares about keeping the site up. You nearly got it destroyed when you stole from Coke and Fox.

"4) The Cwcipedia IS DESIGNED MAINLY FOR the Original Sonichus and Rosechus in and around Cwcville, [[Virginia]]; Alec and his blocky-drawn characters are in Minnesota, and therefore are NOT Associated Officially With Cwcipedia OR the world of Cwcville."

Blocky? Chris, perhaps you don't realize that half the time you can't keep the size of a character consistent. Body parts inflate and deflate at random and at one point a character went from square to spherical within the same page. Heck, people could write a book on your horrible drawings.

"5) At the time, I have done Comparison Drawing within the recent 12 pages I have drawn and uploaded between HIS drawing style and Mine. Obviously Mine is the Superior, because it is more pleasant to look at, and it was Hand-Drawn, versus Computer-Drawn which Alec and his crew have chosen for their media. Officially, I still have NO association with Alec at all, even after this short-time addition within the 10th Book."

Chris, you can't judge your drawing style and his because you're biased in your own favor.

I personally think Alec is a better artist. At least he always provides a goddamn background and doesn't textwall out of pure lazyness.

"7) From this day forward, Any and All future messages that DO NOT ADDRESS Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself (Christian Weston Chandler), or anything that is originated ONLY ON the Cwcipedia will be DELETED. ADDRESS ALL Asperchu inquires ONLY to Alec Benson Leary on HIS COPYCAT WEBSITE"

This relates to you, the comic, and how you can't draw. So yeah, if you delete this I'll know that you're lying out your ass. AGAIN.}}
{{EmailReply|You can go f*** yourself.}}

==Gone Forever==
===Chris will always be beautiful to someone===
{{Email|From: Mirko Calusic <sathael@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris! I have to say, even though Alec is a much better atist, I prefer your Sonichu over his Asperchu comic, because your comic supports the homosexual lifestyle. I understand that you've lost a bunch of fans, but I want you to know that the [[homos]]exual population will always support you. Heck, probably all the fans you have left are gay.

I have to admit, I find you very attractive. Often I've dreamt of your sweaty body pressing against mine. First I would suck your tiny cock and then I'd ram my manstaff up your butthole, all the while massaging your large soft breasts. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know about that.

I've drawn some fanart for you as well!

http://tinyurl.com/yftsew7}}

===The everlasting man===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:G. K. Chesterton|Gilbert Keith Chesterton]] <FaithfulMan@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

The creators of the award winning Evangelical Christian cartoon "Veggie Tales" were once interviewed about the nature of creating a Christian work of art with characters that were explicitly not human. Their response was actually very well-thought-out. They said that they took special time and effort to make sure that their adaptations of biblical stories emphasized what could be learned and applied to life though the passage, was nothing short of completely respectful to the book upon which they placed their faith, and was appropriate for very young children. They also spoke of their all-important rule #1:

'''Never''' would they depict Jesus as a vegetable.

It's not right, they said. Jesus is the son of God, the most important thing in our lives. The reason we're even doing this is to try and help others understand how important Jesus is. It doesn't matter that every other character is a plant byproduct, the setting and tone of the show are ultimately unimportant. Showing Jesus as anything less than what we believe him to be would be blasphemy.

And they're right! To put words in Jesus's mouth, to depict Jesus as he wasn't, to use his or God's holy name in vain, it's all blasphemy. Blasphemy's not like other sins like envy, lust, or wrath, it's wrong on two distinct levels. On one it's direct disrespect to your creator. One the other it hurts your credibility as a Christian. If a Christian blasphemes himself in public, or puts blasphemous things in the internet where everyone can see them, it becomes harder to take them seriously. If someone who's legitimately interested in accepting God into their life sees it, they'll likely think "I thought Christians were supposed to love God, but obviously it's all a lie, because someone who loved God wouldn't act that way."

Bearing all that in mind, why did you represent Jesus as an orange sonic the hedgehog?

Don't say you didn't. Issue 10, page 48. You even drew the tomb being cast open, just like when Jesus rose on the third day. "Hyper Sonichu" or whatever you call him appears with his arms spread (as though nailed to a crucifix) in a beam of light, while some sort of purple soldier kneels before him, in awe. For a few short pages, you had the gall to mock God, turning Jesus, a man without sin into a character that just a few pages ago toppled a building, killing hundreds. A character that spends all his time having sex with his wife or punching old women in the face.

I could understand an Atheist doing this as some sort of protest against Christian hypocrisy, but you claim to be a steadfast believer. So my question to you Chris is in what way could this possibly be considered a Christian piece of work, when you so blatantly mock God?

Sincerely,

G. Chesterson}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 43

2014-07-23T22:09:42Z

Ty Delle: /* "Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work" */

'''Mailbag 43''' was uploaded onto the [[CWCipedia]] on 19 [[January 2010]] and answered on 21 January 2010. This is the first official [[Mailbag]] following [[Chris]]'s decree of no [[Asperchu]] letters.

Amongst this set of letters, we get another answer as to why Chris hates Asperchu, explains why he turned Asperchu into [[Mitch Sonichu]], he also tells a letter writer who calls him out on his Asperchu manifesto to go fuck himself and removes another letter that calls him out on his Christian overtones, especially how he made [[Ultra Sonichu]] into [[Jesus]].

Perhaps the most bizarre letter is his response to [[Evan]], where he claims that Simonchu (Evan's fictional character) has already attempted to convince [[Simonla]] to leave [[CWCville]]. In fact, he writes what amounts to a ([[Chris and writing|terrible]]) short story to justify his continued use of Simonla in his comic.

On 26 January 2010, Chris moved the letter telling the person to go fuck himself into the Rejected Mailbag.

==Answered==
==="Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work"===
{{Email|From: Apple Pie <effence@yahoo.ca>
Hi,

I find it strange that you think Asperchu is bad for swears and anti-religiousness when your favorite shows like [[South Park]] and [[Family Guy]] do the exact same thing. Please explain your logic.}}
{{EmailReply|It is because "Asperchu" is considered a parody to My Sonichu and Myself, and to have the comparisons between the two, it is a kick in the bells to have [[Chris and Art|My Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work]] [[Chris and Hypocrisy| compared to such Gross Low-Class, Low-Resolution, Blocky-Style]] stuff like "Asperchu". And from that, I BLAME the artist, Alec Benson Leary, to [[Chris and Reality|force the characters]] into such [[Rule 34|shameful and distasteful acts]]. I do not blame the characters, because it is NOT Their fault that their "Director" directs them to do those things.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris defends Ultra Sonichus OPness===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Masaki Sumitani|Masaki Sumitani]] <Hadogei@gmail.com>

Hey, I hope you don't count this as an "Asperchu" question and delete this because it's not:

Some questions about the new pages: 1.) If Ultra Sonichu's powers include curing [[Asperger's Syndrome]], why don't you tell Ultra Sonichu to cure your [[autism]]? 2.) Why do you say that Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu needs a makeover, and that his glasses are terrible, when the outfit he was wearing is the same as one you own, and his [[glasses]] look like your glasses? 3.) Is Ultra Sonichu supposed to be a Christ-like figure? Isn't this kind of blasphemous since Sonichu is a Christian?

Thanks for answering!

Masaki Sumitani}}
{{EmailReply|1) It is a cartoon; it is not like I can summon him into Real Life and use the Chaotic Crystal Power to cure my Mental Block for Real. 2) If you were in Asperchu's situation where you were constantly drawn to LOOK and ACT retarded all the time, would you not want a Makeover to make you more confident, intelligent and such? 3) A Christian Individual, or ANYONE for that matter, has the capability to do such things in acts of generosity; it Does Not necessarily make that individual THE Jesus Christ. The [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] Considered Mine, the Original Sonichu, a Savior, because from the later-named Swift Sonichu, he had Foretold of the True Original coming to their Rescue and Aid. If you were rescued from a life-threatening situation, quick-as-a-flash, by someone, would you not consider that person A Savior or Hero? There is nothing "blasphemous" about the generous deed and act.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===We can watch it ourselves, thanks.===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:List of recurring Monty Python's Flying Circus characters|Ken Shabby]] <spamspamspam@aol.com>

Dear Chris: What [[Monty Python]] sketch is your favorite? Mine is Eric Idle's "Storytime" sketch, which can be seen here:

http://tinyurl.com/ylmgwu4

I find it hilarious because I can't imagine what kind of sick pervert would put that kind of stuff in something intended for children.}}
{{EmailReply|I like the Parrot Sketch. "Look, Matey. This Parrot wouldn't VOOM if I put 4,000 volts through it. It's bleeding demised. It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more; it has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. It is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If he hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an Ex-Parrot. '''You have to complain until you're blue in the mouth to get your way around here'''."}}

===Surrrrrrrrrre...===
{{Email|From: Lars Underwood <kneelbeforelarsunderwood@aol.com>

Chris,

In the Sonichu comics you've drawn your Sonichus and Rosechus praying to you. Do the other citizens of CWCville pray to you, too? The reason I ask is that I'm trying to start a cult, and was wondering how you got people to see you as an all-powerful, Godlike figure. So far my cult is only my girlfriend and a couple of other kids at my high school, but I think that's pretty good for a senior. Any advice for a fellow cult leader?

Lars Underwood}}
{{EmailReply|You are mistaken, I have never drawn my Sonichus and Rosechus praying to ME; they pray to God and Jesus like everyone else. I do not care much for Cults, because they often lead towards a life-threatening situation often.}}

===Chris still hates the gays===
{{Email|From: David Price <dprice22@gmail.com>

Dear Christian,

I apologise for the earlier e-mail in which I enquired about Asperchu and completely overlooked your own talents.

Your recent comic pages, in which you provided a makeover for Asperchu to give him a new look as "Mitch Sonichu", has proved to me that you have your own unique skills and qualities. This makes you perfect for television! We're starting up a remake of a classic TV show in which young, style-setting gentlemen such as yourself give fashion pointers to volunteers.

If you would like to be on the lineup of the brand new, remade "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", please get in touch with me.}}
{{EmailReply|I heard that was a [[gay]] show, and I am Straight, so no thank you.}}

===Chris defends the makeovers===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:R. Dorothy Wayneright|Dot Wayneright]] <neg0t8r@paragoncity.net>

Greetings!

From your latest comic, I see you have cured Asperchu and ''Alec's (Unapproved) Recreation of your'' [[Chaotic Combo]]. I noticed that many of your characters were not happy with their names and role. It's a bold step for a writer to change ''someone else's'' characters around like that. ''However, I was surprised to see that not only did [[Bubbles Rosechu]] forget about [[Blake]] when her name changed to Kitty, but she also claims "she'd hit that," which implies she had a pickle! Has Bubbles always been a hermaphrodite or was this only since your Chaotic Remedy on her?''

Regards,
Dorothy Wayneright}}
''Chris added the first two italicized portions, and deleted the third one from the original letter.''
{{EmailReply|What I have done was only done to Alec's "version" of MY Electric-Hedgehogs; The Original Sonichus and Rosechus are STILL the way they are. Kitty was referring to that the madeover Asperchu, now Mitch Sonichu, looked very handsome.}}

===...Well, this is disturbing!===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>
Why do you think that putting in "evan.ip" in a computer will block
me? That's not even an IP address, that's just my name and the letters
"IP". Furthermore, you do it in your [[comic|COMIC]], not in real life. Do you
think CWCville actually exists or something?

Also take Simonla out of your comic.

-Evan}}
{{EmailReply|No. As a matter of fact, [[Chris and reality|YOUR Simonchu]] came to Cwcville while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True [[Wild Sonichu]] was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the [[Chris and censorship|c***]]-shack known as "Ecgville". ([[CWCville|HOW IS THAT SO-CALLED CITY PRONOUNCED ANYWAY?]] It sounds like a very "Eckie" Ailment, possibly Cold-Like.) Simonchu uses force, yet Wild attacks him with his Razor Leaf and unleashed his grasp of her. Wild says, "The lady said that she does not want to return with you." Simonchu replies, "Listen, shock-breath, I'll quake you away in a rock's-throw." Wild says, "Well, before you can even throw a rock, I will have quick-as-a-flash Vine Whipped you, and launched you to fly back to your Villa of Eck." Wild launches his Vine Whip which was Super-Effective against Simonchu's Ground-Type body, and throws him back to that city in Minnesota.

[[Chris and reality|Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life.]] [[Chris and his Ego|I am the Great Director Chandler!]]

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===Go Fuck Yourself, too!===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, here's my response to your BLATANT CENSORSHIP and DENIAL OF FREE SPEECH in [[Mailbag 41]].

"1) Alec and his crew have No Right Whatsoever on MY original Sonichu/Rosechu Characters; I Never Ever Gave Him OR his crew ANY permission to use them At All."

Did Sega give you permission to use [[Sonic]] and Eggman? How about [[Nintendo]]? Did they let you use Giovanni or any [[Pokemon]]?

No. They didn't. The only way Sonichu can stay afloat is because it is a [[Parody|PARODY]]. And PARODIES do not need to ask permission.

"2) I never gave him permission to place ANY advertisements for his Low-Rate Work and Copycat Website; he bought [[Jack]] Thaddius out WRONGFULLY. I still Disapprove of his ads in any shape or form regardless of image content. "

You have no right to decide on this, the SysOp needs to keep the website up some how. And if it were not for her efforts, the website would have crashed by now.

I mean, she certainly cares about keeping the site up. You nearly got it destroyed when you stole from Coke and Fox.

"4) The Cwcipedia IS DESIGNED MAINLY FOR the Original Sonichus and Rosechus in and around Cwcville, [[Virginia]]; Alec and his blocky-drawn characters are in Minnesota, and therefore are NOT Associated Officially With Cwcipedia OR the world of Cwcville."

Blocky? Chris, perhaps you don't realize that half the time you can't keep the size of a character consistent. Body parts inflate and deflate at random and at one point a character went from square to spherical within the same page. Heck, people could write a book on your horrible drawings.

"5) At the time, I have done Comparison Drawing within the recent 12 pages I have drawn and uploaded between HIS drawing style and Mine. Obviously Mine is the Superior, because it is more pleasant to look at, and it was Hand-Drawn, versus Computer-Drawn which Alec and his crew have chosen for their media. Officially, I still have NO association with Alec at all, even after this short-time addition within the 10th Book."

Chris, you can't judge your drawing style and his because you're biased in your own favor.

I personally think Alec is a better artist. At least he always provides a goddamn background and doesn't textwall out of pure lazyness.

"7) From this day forward, Any and All future messages that DO NOT ADDRESS Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself (Christian Weston Chandler), or anything that is originated ONLY ON the Cwcipedia will be DELETED. ADDRESS ALL Asperchu inquires ONLY to Alec Benson Leary on HIS COPYCAT WEBSITE"

This relates to you, the comic, and how you can't draw. So yeah, if you delete this I'll know that you're lying out your ass. AGAIN.}}
{{EmailReply|You can go f*** yourself.}}

==Gone Forever==
===Chris will always be beautiful to someone===
{{Email|From: Mirko Calusic <sathael@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris! I have to say, even though Alec is a much better atist, I prefer your Sonichu over his Asperchu comic, because your comic supports the homosexual lifestyle. I understand that you've lost a bunch of fans, but I want you to know that the [[homos]]exual population will always support you. Heck, probably all the fans you have left are gay.

I have to admit, I find you very attractive. Often I've dreamt of your sweaty body pressing against mine. First I would suck your tiny cock and then I'd ram my manstaff up your butthole, all the while massaging your large soft breasts. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know about that.

I've drawn some fanart for you as well!

http://tinyurl.com/yftsew7}}

===The everlasting man===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:G. K. Chesterton|Gilbert Keith Chesterton]] <FaithfulMan@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

The creators of the award winning Evangelical Christian cartoon "Veggie Tales" were once interviewed about the nature of creating a Christian work of art with characters that were explicitly not human. Their response was actually very well-thought-out. They said that they took special time and effort to make sure that their adaptations of biblical stories emphasized what could be learned and applied to life though the passage, was nothing short of completely respectful to the book upon which they placed their faith, and was appropriate for very young children. They also spoke of their all-important rule #1:

'''Never''' would they depict Jesus as a vegetable.

It's not right, they said. Jesus is the son of God, the most important thing in our lives. The reason we're even doing this is to try and help others understand how important Jesus is. It doesn't matter that every other character is a plant byproduct, the setting and tone of the show are ultimately unimportant. Showing Jesus as anything less than what we believe him to be would be blasphemy.

And they're right! To put words in Jesus's mouth, to depict Jesus as he wasn't, to use his or God's holy name in vain, it's all blasphemy. Blasphemy's not like other sins like envy, lust, or wrath, it's wrong on two distinct levels. On one it's direct disrespect to your creator. One the other it hurts your credibility as a Christian. If a Christian blasphemes himself in public, or puts blasphemous things in the internet where everyone can see them, it becomes harder to take them seriously. If someone who's legitimately interested in accepting God into their life sees it, they'll likely think "I thought Christians were supposed to love God, but obviously it's all a lie, because someone who loved God wouldn't act that way."

Bearing all that in mind, why did you represent Jesus as an orange sonic the hedgehog?

Don't say you didn't. Issue 10, page 48. You even drew the tomb being cast open, just like when Jesus rose on the third day. "Hyper Sonichu" or whatever you call him appears with his arms spread (as though nailed to a crucifix) in a beam of light, while some sort of purple soldier kneels before him, in awe. For a few short pages, you had the gall to mock God, turning Jesus, a man without sin into a character that just a few pages ago toppled a building, killing hundreds. A character that spends all his time having sex with his wife or punching old women in the face.

I could understand an Atheist doing this as some sort of protest against Christian hypocrisy, but you claim to be a steadfast believer. So my question to you Chris is in what way could this possibly be considered a Christian piece of work, when you so blatantly mock God?

Sincerely,

G. Chesterson}}

{{Mailbag}}

Chris and reality

2014-07-23T22:06:58Z

Ty Delle: /* Fantasy and fiction */

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]
{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s understandable response to the above}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. More than likely because he barely leaves [[Chris's Room|his room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have troubles with distinguishing reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

Chris often denies facts and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own stupidity or stubbornness, flaws which Chris will never [[Chris and his Ego|ever]] admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris}}
{{quote|NO!|[[Alec Benson Leary]]}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville, as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this thinking is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. Most likely, he defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he therefore likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, proving even further that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be his or her father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events (both major and minor) such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment introduction of a throwaway plot element]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris makes a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that in Chris's head that this already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canon if he's the one doing it, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris pro tip: most cars weigh two or three tons<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor, such his exaggeration of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade for 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], which is common with [[autism]], where the sufferer has no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. But this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth.

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger syndrome]] "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and Religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'').

During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and Psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a pro-gay rights, liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as pretty delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. On the 28th April, 2012, for example, he made an empty threat to the CWCki forum about hunting down each of its members, claiming to know where each of them lives. He did this in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one was to gloss over the fact that he couldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, if not the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing harm to them. All things considered, Chris ends up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]], to an extent. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] also told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems, or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor.<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things, most importantly that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]] and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]].

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he shares his parent's ridiculous beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place.

Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going so far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling of Chris' belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[White knight|White Knights]]. Despite several of them trying to do things like offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. As far as Chris himself is concerned, this is a case of people telling him what he doesn't want to hear, and so must be disregarded since they're obviously trolls who are getting in the way of what he wants.

==Descent into Madness==
As time has gone on, it's become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris' already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to loosen further and further- getting to the point where it has alienated [[White knight|many of his closest supporters]], including [[Anna McLerran]] and [[William Elliott Waterman]].

A particularly troubling example of this are his [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|October 2013 rants]] on [[Facebook]], about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] fictitious character [[Megagi La Skunk]] has talked to him and told him that she should never have been born. Chris claims she's at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|uncursed]], closing by stating that he and [[Bob Chandler|his father]] will get revenge if she does not.

What is truly horrifying about this is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]]. This unbelievable tirade is entirely of Chris' own making- in what can only be described as pure, unbridled insanity.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and reality

2014-07-23T22:03:13Z

Ty Delle: /* Real Life */

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]
{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s understandable response to the above}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. More than likely because he barely leaves [[Chris's Room|his room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have troubles with distinguishing reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

Chris often denies facts and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own stupidity or stubbornness, flaws which Chris will never [[Chris and his Ego|ever]] admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris}}
{{quote|NO!|[[Alec Benson Leary]]}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville, as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this thinking is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. Most likely, he defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he therefore likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, proving even further that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be his or her father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events (both major and minor) such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment introduction of a throwaway plot element]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris makes a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that in Chris's head that this already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canon, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris pro tip: most cars weigh two or three tons<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor, such his exaggeration of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade for 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], which is common with [[autism]], where the sufferer has no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. But this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth.

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger syndrome]] "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and Religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'').

During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and Psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a pro-gay rights, liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as pretty delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. On the 28th April, 2012, for example, he made an empty threat to the CWCki forum about hunting down each of its members, claiming to know where each of them lives. He did this in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one was to gloss over the fact that he couldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, if not the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing harm to them. All things considered, Chris ends up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]], to an extent. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] also told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems, or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor.<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things, most importantly that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]] and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]].

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he shares his parent's ridiculous beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place.

Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going so far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling of Chris' belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[White knight|White Knights]]. Despite several of them trying to do things like offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. As far as Chris himself is concerned, this is a case of people telling him what he doesn't want to hear, and so must be disregarded since they're obviously trolls who are getting in the way of what he wants.

==Descent into Madness==
As time has gone on, it's become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris' already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to loosen further and further- getting to the point where it has alienated [[White knight|many of his closest supporters]], including [[Anna McLerran]] and [[William Elliott Waterman]].

A particularly troubling example of this are his [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|October 2013 rants]] on [[Facebook]], about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] fictitious character [[Megagi La Skunk]] has talked to him and told him that she should never have been born. Chris claims she's at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|uncursed]], closing by stating that he and [[Bob Chandler|his father]] will get revenge if she does not.

What is truly horrifying about this is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]]. This unbelievable tirade is entirely of Chris' own making- in what can only be described as pure, unbridled insanity.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and reality

2014-07-23T22:01:53Z

Ty Delle: /* Real Life */

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]
{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s understandable response to the above}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. More than likely because he barely leaves [[Chris's Room|his room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have troubles with distinguishing reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

Chris often denies facts and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own stupidity or stubbornness, flaws which Chris will never [[Chris and his Ego|ever]] admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris}}
{{quote|NO!|[[Alec Benson Leary]]}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville, as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this thinking is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. Most likely, he defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he therefore likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, proving even further that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be his or her father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events (both major and minor) such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment introduction of a throwaway plot element]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris makes a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that in Chris's head that this already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canon, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris pro tip: most cars weigh two or three tons<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor, such his exaggeration of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade for 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], which is common with [[autism]], where the sufferer has no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. But this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth.

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger syndrome]] "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and Religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'').

During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a pro-gay rights, liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as pretty delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. On the 28th April, 2012, for example, he made an empty threat to the CWCki forum about hunting down each of its members, claiming to know where each of them lives. He did this in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one was to gloss over the fact that he couldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, if not the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing harm to them. All things considered, Chris ends up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]], to an extent. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] also told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems, or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor.<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things, most importantly that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]] and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]].

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he shares his parent's ridiculous beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place.

Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going so far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling of Chris' belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[White knight|White Knights]]. Despite several of them trying to do things like offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. As far as Chris himself is concerned, this is a case of people telling him what he doesn't want to hear, and so must be disregarded since they're obviously trolls who are getting in the way of what he wants.

==Descent into Madness==
As time has gone on, it's become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris' already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to loosen further and further- getting to the point where it has alienated [[White knight|many of his closest supporters]], including [[Anna McLerran]] and [[William Elliott Waterman]].

A particularly troubling example of this are his [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|October 2013 rants]] on [[Facebook]], about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] fictitious character [[Megagi La Skunk]] has talked to him and told him that she should never have been born. Chris claims she's at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|uncursed]], closing by stating that he and [[Bob Chandler|his father]] will get revenge if she does not.

What is truly horrifying about this is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]]. This unbelievable tirade is entirely of Chris' own making- in what can only be described as pure, unbridled insanity.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and reality

2014-07-23T21:49:18Z

Ty Delle:

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]
{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s understandable response to the above}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. More than likely because he barely leaves [[Chris's Room|his room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have troubles with distinguishing reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

Chris often denies facts and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own stupidity or stubbornness, flaws which Chris will never [[Chris and his Ego|ever]] admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris}}
{{quote|NO!|[[Alec Benson Leary]]}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville, as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this thinking is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. Most likely, he defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he therefore likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, proving even further that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be his or her father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events (both major and minor) such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment introduction of a throwaway plot element]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris makes a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that in Chris's head that this already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canon, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris pro tip: most cars weigh two or three tons<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor, such his exaggeration of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade for 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], which is common with [[autism]], where the sufferer has no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. But this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth.

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger syndrome]] "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "Fact" is only his "own idea," he still thinks that to believe otherwise is to "conform to blasphem[y]."<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'').

During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a pro-gay rights, liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as pretty delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. On the 28th April, 2012, for example, he made an empty threat to the CWCki forum about hunting down each of its members, claiming to know where each of them lives. He did this in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one was to gloss over the fact that he couldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, if not the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing harm to them. All things considered, Chris ends up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]], to an extent. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] also told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems, or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor.<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things, most importantly that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]] and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]].

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he shares his parent's ridiculous beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place.

Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going so far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling of Chris' belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[White knight|White Knights]]. Despite several of them trying to do things like offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. As far as Chris himself is concerned, this is a case of people telling him what he doesn't want to hear, and so must be disregarded since they're obviously trolls who are getting in the way of what he wants.

==Descent into Madness==
As time has gone on, it's become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris' already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to loosen further and further- getting to the point where it has alienated [[White knight|many of his closest supporters]], including [[Anna McLerran]] and [[William Elliott Waterman]].

A particularly troubling example of this are his [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|October 2013 rants]] on [[Facebook]], about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] fictitious character [[Megagi La Skunk]] has talked to him and told him that she should never have been born. Chris claims she's at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|uncursed]], closing by stating that he and [[Bob Chandler|his father]] will get revenge if she does not.

What is truly horrifying about this is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]]. This unbelievable tirade is entirely of Chris' own making- in what can only be described as pure, unbridled insanity.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Liquid Chris

2014-07-23T06:17:24Z

Ty Delle: /* In the comic */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Improve|massive reorganization|Expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga'' for great justice. Add details and citations.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | <s>Trolls</s> Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Liquid Chris
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Chris Chandler<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref> Jeff<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref>
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 24 February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Kacey]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer Musician
|-
|}
'''Liquid Chris''' (born 24 [[February 1982]]) is the '''[[TRUE and HONEST]] Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY — DO NOT STEAL) and the one and only creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu]].

==Prologue==
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for [[Christian]] (henceforth '''[[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]]'''), with both highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris<ref name="realprotest">[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

==Liquid Saga==

====A challenger appears====
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid Chris torturing the impostor.|thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
* An official Sonichu medallion
* A striped shirt (brown)
* [[Pedo-Glasses|A pair of rather bulky glasses which would look ridiculous on anybody else.]]
* Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
* Autism

All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

====Ian Brandon Anderson====
{{main|Ian Brandon Anderson}}

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".

The next piece fell into place when he posted his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]] video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

===CWCivil War begins===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Now_Selling_the_OFFICIAL_and_ORIGINAL_SONICHU_Merchandise_of_CWC.2C_NO_FAKERIES_OR_IMPOSTORY|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC]". HE IS CRAPPY, and [[Chris and English|his Nasal Voice]] is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR [[Speech impediment|NASAL VOICE]] IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

==The battleground==

===="More Than A Feeling"====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]

For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''

More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====''SingStar'' Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]
{{Main|SingStar Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}

And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.

As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

==="SHOWDOWN"===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}

{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}

On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.

{{quotebox|If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}

==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_Gs7ZqOl2CA}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|CzDj29Vy7ro}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

===CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo===
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}

Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.

In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid's behavior had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the Liquid.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fLVg6VkxpLY}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===
Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo]] DS and [[Xbox]] 360, respectively.<ref><s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M</s> (dead link as of Jul 2014)</ref> On 27 July 2011, Liquid bid fond faredieu to the trolling universe on YouTube by closing his account.

Solid Chris now considers Liquid Chris a friend.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Lav-RaVcYXQ}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}

'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

==Irony==
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|left|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]
IBAChandler has mocked Liquid on several points:

* [[Speech impediment|His nasal tone.]]
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]
* [[Chris and money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]
* [[Obesity|His appearance.]]

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning.

In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly [sic] sieze [sic] to the extreme!]]

On 17 [[November 2009]], the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler made his very first appearance in Solid' Chris's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Solid, being the slanderous impostor that he is, had the nerve to claim that Liquid's name was Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried (and failed) to convince everyone that he was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of the [[Sonichu]] franchise.

Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced [[Christian_Weston_Chandler_(comic_character)|Chris]] to cede control over [[CWCville]] to Liquid. This, however, has yet to be done. <ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Deletedvideo}}{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ayObshLZQwI}}
| Stardate = 2 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s1SBdwZDN1k}}
| Stardate = 4 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dYrgl-otclY}}
| Stardate = 6 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.
}}
}}

==See also==
[[File:Chrischan_cosplay.jpg|thumb|Liquidus Chris]]
* [[Solid Chris]]
* [[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
* [[Jimmy Hill]]
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], another doppelganger of Chris featured in the Sonichu comics

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
* [http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL51E59E5BF480DBD4 Archived versions of all of Liquid's videos]
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.es/The_Real_Chris_Chan The Real Chris-chan] on [[ED]]

 {{SingStarChallenge}} 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Liquid Chris

2014-07-23T06:16:16Z

Ty Delle: /* In the comic */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Improve|massive reorganization|Expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga'' for great justice. Add details and citations.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | <s>Trolls</s> Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Liquid Chris
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Chris Chandler<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref> Jeff<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref>
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 24 February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Kacey]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer Musician
|-
|}
'''Liquid Chris''' (born 24 [[February 1982]]) is the '''[[TRUE and HONEST]] Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY — DO NOT STEAL) and the one and only creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu]].

==Prologue==
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for [[Christian]] (henceforth '''[[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]]'''), with both highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris<ref name="realprotest">[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

==Liquid Saga==

====A challenger appears====
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid Chris torturing the impostor.|thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
* An official Sonichu medallion
* A striped shirt (brown)
* [[Pedo-Glasses|A pair of rather bulky glasses which would look ridiculous on anybody else.]]
* Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
* Autism

All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

====Ian Brandon Anderson====
{{main|Ian Brandon Anderson}}

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".

The next piece fell into place when he posted his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]] video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

===CWCivil War begins===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Now_Selling_the_OFFICIAL_and_ORIGINAL_SONICHU_Merchandise_of_CWC.2C_NO_FAKERIES_OR_IMPOSTORY|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC]". HE IS CRAPPY, and [[Chris and English|his Nasal Voice]] is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR [[Speech impediment|NASAL VOICE]] IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

==The battleground==

===="More Than A Feeling"====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]

For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''

More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====''SingStar'' Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]
{{Main|SingStar Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}

And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.

As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

==="SHOWDOWN"===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}

{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}

On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.

{{quotebox|If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}

==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_Gs7ZqOl2CA}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|CzDj29Vy7ro}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

===CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo===
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}

Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.

In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid's behavior had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the Liquid.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fLVg6VkxpLY}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===
Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo]] DS and [[Xbox]] 360, respectively.<ref><s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M</s> (dead link as of Jul 2014)</ref> On 27 July 2011, Liquid bid fond faredieu to the trolling universe on YouTube by closing his account.

Solid Chris now considers Liquid Chris a friend.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Lav-RaVcYXQ}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}

'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

==Irony==
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|left|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]
IBAChandler has mocked Liquid on several points:

* [[Speech impediment|His nasal tone.]]
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]
* [[Chris and money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]
* [[Obesity|His appearance.]]

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning.

In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly [sic] sieze [sic] to the extreme!]]

On 17 [[November 2009]], the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler made his very first appearance in Solid' Chris's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Solid, being the slanderous impostor that he is, had the nerve to imply that Liquid's name was Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried (and failed) to convince everyone that he was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of the [[Sonichu]] franchise.

Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced [[Christian_Weston_Chandler_(comic_character)|Chris]] to cede control over [[CWCville]] to Liquid. This, however, has yet to be done. <ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Deletedvideo}}{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ayObshLZQwI}}
| Stardate = 2 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s1SBdwZDN1k}}
| Stardate = 4 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight — Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dYrgl-otclY}}
| Stardate = 6 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.
}}
}}

==See also==
[[File:Chrischan_cosplay.jpg|thumb|Liquidus Chris]]
* [[Solid Chris]]
* [[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
* [[Jimmy Hill]]
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], another doppelganger of Chris featured in the Sonichu comics

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
* [http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL51E59E5BF480DBD4 Archived versions of all of Liquid's videos]
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.es/The_Real_Chris_Chan The Real Chris-chan] on [[ED]]

 {{SingStarChallenge}} 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey

2014-07-23T06:04:44Z

Ty Delle:

[[Image:Manga couples.jpg|thumb|Ian owns at least one how-to-draw book, but [[Chris and art|aggressively ignores its instructions]]]]

'''My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey''' is a video uploaded on 31 [[October 2009]] by the impostor [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] where, in a [[Ego|vain assumption]] that the [[Kacey]]'s video was directed at him and not at [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]], he attempts to sing the male part of the song [[Wikipedia:A Whole New World|"A Whole New World"]] as seen in Disney's ''Aladdin''. Like [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|his other attempts at singing]], the original vocal track is heard underneath his off-key warbling.

The poorly-framed image of the [[animu]] girl is from ''How to Draw Manga, Volume 28: Couples''. It's unknown at this time what Ian stole from this particular book. A point of interest is the framing of the cover of the book, in which Ian has gone to [[Chris and cinematography|great lengths]] to cut the [[Jerk|male character]] from the view of his [[camera]].

The original version of the song was also played in the background on [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]] video uploaded shortly afterward on the same day.

[[Liquid|TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]] soon uploaded [[My_Half_of_A_Whole_New_World_for_Kacey#CChanSonichu_CWC_responds|his own performance]] of this song, as well.

==Original video from Kacey==

{{quote|Baby I thought of you as soon as I heard this song again! I want us to sing a duet, can you?? I left out some of the male speaking parts, this song really needs a duet. Sorry I went flat and too high in some places!

I adore you so much. Sing this for me and with me and solidify who I'm with! I know you can do it, my one and only!

Always yours,
Kacey}}

{{deletedvideo}}

{{#ev:youtube|a2uKaaqcWXM }}</center>

== Ian's video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ulzZD3pyb50}}
| stardate = 31 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| previous = [[CWC 30 Push Ups]]
| next = [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
I can show you the world 
Shining, shimmering, splendid 
Tell me princess, now when did you last 
Let your heart decide

I can open your eyes 
Take you wonder by wonder 
[[Chris and sex|Over sideways and under]] 
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world 
A new fantastic point of view 
No one to tell us no 
Or where to go 
Or say we're only dreaming

[''<s> Kacey</s> Jasmine is heard in background due to the fact he did not choose the instrumental track'']

[''Jasmine''] A whole new world 
A dazzling place I never knew 
But when I'm way up here 
It's crystal clear 
That now I'm in a whole new world 
With you

[''Ian joins back in''] Now I'm in a whole new world with you

[''Jasmine part again'']
Unbelievable sights 
Indescribable feeling 
Soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling 
Through an endless diamond sky 
A whole new world 

[''Ian''] Don't you dare close your eyes 
[''Jasmine''] A hundred thousand things to see 
[''Ian''] Hold your breath it gets better 
[''Jasmine''] I'm like a shooting star 
I've [[Semen|come]] so far 
I can't go back to where I used to be

[''Ian''] A whole new world 
[[Honor roll|Repeat verse 2]] 
[''Together''] I'll chase them everywhere 
There's time to spare 
Let me share this 
Whole new world with you 
[''Ian''] A whole new world 
[''Jasmine''] A whole new world 
[''Ian''] That's where we'll be 
[''Jasmine''] That's where we'll be 
[''Ian''] A thrilling chase 
[''Jasmine''] A wondrous place 
[''Together''] For you and me 
[''Ian's shadow is seen giving a thumbs up.'']

==CChanSonichu CWC responds==

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hOOFgOyJFbA}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|Kacey}}, {{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLiquidShirt|text}}
| previous = [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back]]
| next = [[Liquid_Chris#Epilogue|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Let us Sing This Duet together in Our Hearts.

CWC}}

==How to Draw Manga: Couples==

According to [http://www.amazon.com/How-Draw-Manga-28-Couples/dp/4766112415 Amazon.com reviews], this volume contains instructions for drawing [[Homos|same-sex]] couples, as well as erotica. Although this book was probably bought long ago in a futile attempt to impress fellow [[Anime|weeaboo]] and [[gal pal]] [[Megan Schroeder]], <s>famous</s> Internet-famous homophobe IBA Chandler owns a book full of naked anime men having sex with each other.

==See also==
*[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]]
*[[Chris Sings Lovin' You|Lovin' You]]
*[[SHE IS MINE NOW]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC 30 Push Ups]]|nextlink=[[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Articles with removed videos]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-31]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-31]]

My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey

2014-07-23T06:03:24Z

Ty Delle:

[[Image:Manga couples.jpg|thumb|Ian owns at least one how-to-draw book, but [[Chris and art|aggressively ignores its instructions]]]]

'''My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey''' is a video uploaded on 31 [[October 2009]] by the impostor [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] where, in a [[Ego|vain assumption]] that the [[Kacey]]'s video was directed at him and not at [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]], he attempts to sing the male part of the song [[Wikipedia:A Whole New World|"A Whole New World"]] as seen in Disney's ''Aladdin''. Like [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|his other attempts at singing]], the original vocal track is heard underneath his off-key warbling.

The poorly-framed image of the [[animu]] girl is from ''How to Draw Manga, Volume 28: Couples''. It's unknown at this time what Ian stole from this particular book. A point of interest is the framing of the cover of the book, in which Ian has gone to [[Chris and cinematography|great lengths]] to cut the [[Jerk|male character]] from the view of his [[camera]].

The original version of the song was also played in the background on [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]] video uploaded shortly afterward on the same day.

[[Liquid|TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]] soon uploaded [[#ev:youtube|hOOFgOyJFbA|his own performance]] of this song, as well.

==Original video from Kacey==

{{quote|Baby I thought of you as soon as I heard this song again! I want us to sing a duet, can you?? I left out some of the male speaking parts, this song really needs a duet. Sorry I went flat and too high in some places!

I adore you so much. Sing this for me and with me and solidify who I'm with! I know you can do it, my one and only!

Always yours,
Kacey}}

{{deletedvideo}}

{{#ev:youtube|a2uKaaqcWXM }}</center>

== Ian's video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ulzZD3pyb50}}
| stardate = 31 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| previous = [[CWC 30 Push Ups]]
| next = [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
I can show you the world 
Shining, shimmering, splendid 
Tell me princess, now when did you last 
Let your heart decide

I can open your eyes 
Take you wonder by wonder 
[[Chris and sex|Over sideways and under]] 
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world 
A new fantastic point of view 
No one to tell us no 
Or where to go 
Or say we're only dreaming

[''<s> Kacey</s> Jasmine is heard in background due to the fact he did not choose the instrumental track'']

[''Jasmine''] A whole new world 
A dazzling place I never knew 
But when I'm way up here 
It's crystal clear 
That now I'm in a whole new world 
With you

[''Ian joins back in''] Now I'm in a whole new world with you

[''Jasmine part again'']
Unbelievable sights 
Indescribable feeling 
Soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling 
Through an endless diamond sky 
A whole new world 

[''Ian''] Don't you dare close your eyes 
[''Jasmine''] A hundred thousand things to see 
[''Ian''] Hold your breath it gets better 
[''Jasmine''] I'm like a shooting star 
I've [[Semen|come]] so far 
I can't go back to where I used to be

[''Ian''] A whole new world 
[[Honor roll|Repeat verse 2]] 
[''Together''] I'll chase them everywhere 
There's time to spare 
Let me share this 
Whole new world with you 
[''Ian''] A whole new world 
[''Jasmine''] A whole new world 
[''Ian''] That's where we'll be 
[''Jasmine''] That's where we'll be 
[''Ian''] A thrilling chase 
[''Jasmine''] A wondrous place 
[''Together''] For you and me 
[''Ian's shadow is seen giving a thumbs up.'']

==CChanSonichu CWC responds==

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hOOFgOyJFbA}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|Kacey}}, {{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLiquidShirt|text}}
| previous = [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back]]
| next = [[Liquid_Chris#Epilogue|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Let us Sing This Duet together in Our Hearts.

CWC}}

==How to Draw Manga: Couples==

According to [http://www.amazon.com/How-Draw-Manga-28-Couples/dp/4766112415 Amazon.com reviews], this volume contains instructions for drawing [[Homos|same-sex]] couples, as well as erotica. Although this book was probably bought long ago in a futile attempt to impress fellow [[Anime|weeaboo]] and [[gal pal]] [[Megan Schroeder]], <s>famous</s> Internet-famous homophobe IBA Chandler owns a book full of naked anime men having sex with each other.

==See also==
*[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]]
*[[Chris Sings Lovin' You|Lovin' You]]
*[[SHE IS MINE NOW]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC 30 Push Ups]]|nextlink=[[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Articles with removed videos]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-31]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-31]]

My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey

2014-07-23T05:59:00Z

Ty Delle:

[[Image:Manga couples.jpg|thumb|Ian owns at least one how-to-draw book, but [[Chris and art|aggressively ignores its instructions]]]]

'''My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey''' is a video uploaded on 31 [[October 2009]] by the impostor [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] where, in a [[Ego|vain assumption]] that the [[Kacey]]'s video was directed at him and not at [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]], he attempts to sing the male part of the song [[Wikipedia:A Whole New World|"A Whole New World"]] as seen in Disney's ''Aladdin''. Like [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|his other attempts at singing]], the original vocal track is heard underneath his off-key warbling.

The poorly-framed image of the [[animu]] girl is from ''How to Draw Manga, Volume 28: Couples''. It's unknown at this time what Ian stole from this particular book. A point of interest is the framing of the cover of the book, in which Ian has gone to [[Chris and cinematography|great lengths]] to cut the [[Jerk|male character]] from the view of his [[camera]].

The original version of the song was also played in the background on [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]] video uploaded shortly afterward on the same day.

[[Liquid|TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]] soon uploaded his own performance of this song, as well.

==Original video from Kacey==

{{quote|Baby I thought of you as soon as I heard this song again! I want us to sing a duet, can you?? I left out some of the male speaking parts, this song really needs a duet. Sorry I went flat and too high in some places!

I adore you so much. Sing this for me and with me and solidify who I'm with! I know you can do it, my one and only!

Always yours,
Kacey}}

{{deletedvideo}}

{{#ev:youtube|a2uKaaqcWXM }}</center>

== Ian's video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ulzZD3pyb50}}
| stardate = 31 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| previous = [[CWC 30 Push Ups]]
| next = [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
I can show you the world 
Shining, shimmering, splendid 
Tell me princess, now when did you last 
Let your heart decide

I can open your eyes 
Take you wonder by wonder 
[[Chris and sex|Over sideways and under]] 
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world 
A new fantastic point of view 
No one to tell us no 
Or where to go 
Or say we're only dreaming

[''<s> Kacey</s> Jasmine is heard in background due to the fact he did not choose the instrumental track'']

[''Jasmine''] A whole new world 
A dazzling place I never knew 
But when I'm way up here 
It's crystal clear 
That now I'm in a whole new world 
With you

[''Ian joins back in''] Now I'm in a whole new world with you

[''Jasmine part again'']
Unbelievable sights 
Indescribable feeling 
Soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling 
Through an endless diamond sky 
A whole new world 

[''Ian''] Don't you dare close your eyes 
[''Jasmine''] A hundred thousand things to see 
[''Ian''] Hold your breath it gets better 
[''Jasmine''] I'm like a shooting star 
I've [[Semen|come]] so far 
I can't go back to where I used to be

[''Ian''] A whole new world 
[[Honor roll|Repeat verse 2]] 
[''Together''] I'll chase them everywhere 
There's time to spare 
Let me share this 
Whole new world with you 
[''Ian''] A whole new world 
[''Jasmine''] A whole new world 
[''Ian''] That's where we'll be 
[''Jasmine''] That's where we'll be 
[''Ian''] A thrilling chase 
[''Jasmine''] A wondrous place 
[''Together''] For you and me 
[''Ian's shadow is seen giving a thumbs up.'']

==CChanSonichu CWC responds==

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hOOFgOyJFbA}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|Kacey}}, {{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLiquidShirt|text}}
| previous = [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back]]
| next = [[Liquid_Chris#Epilogue|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Let us Sing This Duet together in Our Hearts.

CWC}}

==How to Draw Manga: Couples==

According to [http://www.amazon.com/How-Draw-Manga-28-Couples/dp/4766112415 Amazon.com reviews], this volume contains instructions for drawing [[Homos|same-sex]] couples, as well as erotica. Although this book was probably bought long ago in a futile attempt to impress fellow [[Anime|weeaboo]] and [[gal pal]] [[Megan Schroeder]], <s>famous</s> Internet-famous homophobe IBA Chandler owns a book full of naked anime men having sex with each other.

==See also==
*[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]]
*[[Chris Sings Lovin' You|Lovin' You]]
*[[SHE IS MINE NOW]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC 30 Push Ups]]|nextlink=[[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Articles with removed videos]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-31]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-31]]

My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey

2014-07-23T05:58:20Z

Ty Delle:

[[Image:Manga couples.jpg|thumb|Ian owns at least one how-to-draw book, but [[Chris and art|aggressively ignores its instructions]]]]

'''My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey''' is a video uploaded on 31 [[October 2009]] by the impostor [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] where, in a [[Ego|vain assumption]] that the [[Kacey]]'s video was directed at him and not at [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]], he attempts to sing the male part of the song [[Wikipedia:A Whole New World|"A Whole New World"]] as seen in Disney's ''Aladdin''. Like [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|his other attempts at singing]], the original vocal track is heard underneath his off-key warbling.

The poorly-framed image of the [[animu]] girl is from ''How to Draw Manga, Volume 28: Couples''. It's unknown at this time what Ian stole from this particular book. A point of interest is the framing of the cover of the book, in which Ian has gone to [[Chris and cinematography|great lengths]] to cut the [[Jerk|male character]] from the view of his [[camera]].

The original version of the song was also played in the background on [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]] video uploaded shortly afterward on the same day.

The [[TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler|Liquid]] soon uploaded his own performance of this song, as well.

==Original video from Kacey==

{{quote|Baby I thought of you as soon as I heard this song again! I want us to sing a duet, can you?? I left out some of the male speaking parts, this song really needs a duet. Sorry I went flat and too high in some places!

I adore you so much. Sing this for me and with me and solidify who I'm with! I know you can do it, my one and only!

Always yours,
Kacey}}

{{deletedvideo}}

{{#ev:youtube|a2uKaaqcWXM }}</center>

== Ian's video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ulzZD3pyb50}}
| stardate = 31 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| previous = [[CWC 30 Push Ups]]
| next = [[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
I can show you the world 
Shining, shimmering, splendid 
Tell me princess, now when did you last 
Let your heart decide

I can open your eyes 
Take you wonder by wonder 
[[Chris and sex|Over sideways and under]] 
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world 
A new fantastic point of view 
No one to tell us no 
Or where to go 
Or say we're only dreaming

[''<s> Kacey</s> Jasmine is heard in background due to the fact he did not choose the instrumental track'']

[''Jasmine''] A whole new world 
A dazzling place I never knew 
But when I'm way up here 
It's crystal clear 
That now I'm in a whole new world 
With you

[''Ian joins back in''] Now I'm in a whole new world with you

[''Jasmine part again'']
Unbelievable sights 
Indescribable feeling 
Soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling 
Through an endless diamond sky 
A whole new world 

[''Ian''] Don't you dare close your eyes 
[''Jasmine''] A hundred thousand things to see 
[''Ian''] Hold your breath it gets better 
[''Jasmine''] I'm like a shooting star 
I've [[Semen|come]] so far 
I can't go back to where I used to be

[''Ian''] A whole new world 
[[Honor roll|Repeat verse 2]] 
[''Together''] I'll chase them everywhere 
There's time to spare 
Let me share this 
Whole new world with you 
[''Ian''] A whole new world 
[''Jasmine''] A whole new world 
[''Ian''] That's where we'll be 
[''Jasmine''] That's where we'll be 
[''Ian''] A thrilling chase 
[''Jasmine''] A wondrous place 
[''Together''] For you and me 
[''Ian's shadow is seen giving a thumbs up.'']

==CChanSonichu CWC responds==

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hOOFgOyJFbA}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|Kacey}}, {{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLiquidShirt|text}}
| previous = [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|M.C. CWC Serves The Girlfriend Thief the Rhymes to Win Kacey Back]]
| next = [[Liquid_Chris#Epilogue|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Let us Sing This Duet together in Our Hearts.

CWC}}

==How to Draw Manga: Couples==

According to [http://www.amazon.com/How-Draw-Manga-28-Couples/dp/4766112415 Amazon.com reviews], this volume contains instructions for drawing [[Homos|same-sex]] couples, as well as erotica. Although this book was probably bought long ago in a futile attempt to impress fellow [[Anime|weeaboo]] and [[gal pal]] [[Megan Schroeder]], <s>famous</s> Internet-famous homophobe IBA Chandler owns a book full of naked anime men having sex with each other.

==See also==
*[[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]]
*[[Chris Sings Lovin' You|Lovin' You]]
*[[SHE IS MINE NOW]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC 30 Push Ups]]|nextlink=[[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Articles with removed videos]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-31]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-31]]

Claw of Fail

2014-07-23T05:49:36Z

Ty Delle:

[[Image:Furyofmywrath.jpg|center]]

{{quote|SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY WRATH!|Chris, threatening [[Vivian Gee]] during his [[Sign Destruction Video]]}}

The '''Claw of Fail''' is a dramatic hand gesture used by Chris when he wants to emphasize whatever stupid point he's trying to make at the moment. Chris will hold his hand out, palm upturned, with his fingers outstretched and curled upwards, in the manner of a cartoonish villain.

Much in the way that Chris [[parody|steals]] [[Random access humor|jokes]], [[Things Chris has ripped off|ideas]], and phrases he uses in everyday speech from movies, [[anime]], video games, and [[Ghostbusters|cartoons]], he also copies body language and hand gestures. Although normal humans may reference movies and such when it is funny, appropriate or ironic, Chris relies on these to teach him new words, phrases and ideas. In short, Chris is like a feral child, raised by television, who copies the mannerisms of his adoptive parent. When Chris stopped talking as a small child, his parents put him in front of the television for two-thirds of the day, which is a habit he's kept up all the way to the present time. Remember, whenever Chris is playing [[Little Big Planet|video games]], [[Sonichu|drawing comics]], or talking on the phone in his room, he often has a TV running in the background (sometimes muted and with closed captioning on, sometimes not).

The Claw of Fail is associated with, but not exclusive to, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]].

Christian has also shown TV pitchman [[BILLY MAYS]] clutching a miniature [[Wikipedia:Cornus (genus)|dogwood tree]] in a similar fashion, possibly as a display of dominance. In acting, this is usually called "milking the giant cow," and considered to be something only hams do. Chris can't even ham properly, though; the Claw looks [[Duck#Chris_and_his_duck|stiff and unnatural]], whereas a proper milking (see anything with [[wikipedia:Rudolf Klein-Rogge|Rudolf Klein-Rogge]] in it) is typically a very fluid and passionate gesture.

== Use in 2009 and beyond ==
Chris has taken to using the Claw of Fail as a symbol of power or dominance over his enemies, as seen in [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|his rap video]]. This is perhaps a sign of Chris's slow turn to the Dark Side as he indulges in the art of what he hates the most: [[troll]]ing. Given the blackmail videos and the theft of [[Kacey]], we can only assume it's a matter of time before Chris becomes a full blown supervillain and wears the [[Medallions of Fail|Black Sonichu medallion]] on a more regular basis.

It is also likely that the use of the Claw is directly proportional to the size of Chris's [[ego]], evident in the fact that as of [[October 2009]], Chris' ego had inflated beyond human proportions; blocking out the sun and causing it to snow in [[CWCville]] as seen in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrxb_8dWa5Y this] video.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Claw.jpg|Notice how the threatening gesture is immediately negated by the [[medallions|Sonichu medallion]], the room full of toys, and the fact that it's being performed by what appears to be a blob that has sprouted limbs and a human head.
Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|[[BILLY MAYS]] shown plucking a still-living tree from the earth.
Image:Clawofdoom whatchrisbelieves.jpg|This is what Chris thinks he will look like after a few more weeks of playing [[Brutal Legend|''Brütal Legend'']].
Image:Claw of fail.jpg|She is mine now!
Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|You cannot ignore my [[power]]!
Image:Claw of fail 3.jpg|Seems like Chris is devoloping a new tic to go with [[Stress sigh|sigh]]s and [[Speech impediment|hmm]].
Image:Claw of fail attack.jpg|[[Duck|Duck]], it's coming right at us!
Image:Claw of fail 4.jpg|Moar claw
Image:Rageclaw.jpg|Has this gesture gotten less threatening with overuse?
File:Chriscash.jpg|[[100 2267|Clawd Cash]]
Image:SchuComic9P38.jpg|Double claws for the [[Homos]].
Image:Sonichu05-P12.jpg|An early claw cameo, note the evil character doing it.
Image:Hitler three.jpg| They both struggled against enemies, real and imagined, but Hitler never let a [[Michael Snyder|Jew]] get the better of him.
File:Rage1.PNG|Sonichu can do it too!
</gallery>
</center>

{{Mannerisms}}

[[Category:Mannerisms]]

Claw of Fail

2014-07-23T05:45:19Z

Ty Delle:

[[Image:Furyofmywrath.jpg|center]]

{{quote|SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY WRATH!|Chris, threatening [[Vivian Gee]] during his [[Sign Destruction Video]]}}

The '''Claw of Fail''' is a dramatic hand gesture used by Chris when he wants to emphasize whatever stupid point he's trying to make at the moment. Chris will hold his hand out, palm upturned, with his fingers outstretched and curled upwards, in the manner of a cartoonish villain.

Much in the way that Chris [[parody|steals]] [[Random access humor|jokes]], [[Things Chris has ripped off|ideas]], and phrases he uses in everyday speech from movies, [[anime]], video games, and [[Ghostbusters|cartoons]], he also copies body language and hand gestures. Although normal humans may reference movies and such when it is funny, appropriate or ironic, Chris relies on these to teach him new words, phrases and ideas. In short, Chris is like a feral child, raised by television, who copies the mannerisms of his adoptive parent. When Chris stopped talking as a small child, his parents put him in front of the television for two-thirds of the day, which is a habit he's kept up all the way to the present time. Remember, whenever Chris is playing [[Little Big Planet|video games]], [[Sonichu|drawing comics]], or talking on the phone in his room, he often has a TV running in the background (sometimes muted and with closed captioning on, sometimes not).

The Claw of Fail is associated with, but not exclusive to, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]].

Christian has also shown TV pitchman [[BILLY MAYS]] clutching a miniature [[Wikipedia:Cornus (genus)|dogwood tree]] in a similar fashion, possibly as a display of dominance. In acting, this is usually called "milking the giant cow," and considered to be something only hams do. Chris can't even ham properly, though; the Claw looks stiff and unnatural, whereas a proper milking (see anything with [[wikipedia:Rudolf Klein-Rogge|Rudolf Klein-Rogge]] in it) is typically a very fluid and passionate gesture.

== Use in 2009 and beyond ==
Chris has taken to using the Claw of Fail as a symbol of power or dominance over his enemies, as seen in [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|his rap video]]. This is perhaps a sign of Chris's slow turn to the Dark Side as he indulges in the art of what he hates the most: [[troll]]ing. Given the blackmail videos and the theft of [[Kacey]], we can only assume it's a matter of time before Chris becomes a full blown supervillain and wears the [[Medallions of Fail|Black Sonichu medallion]] on a more regular basis.

It is also likely that the use of the Claw is directly proportional to the size of Chris's [[ego]], evident in the fact that as of [[October 2009]], Chris' ego had inflated beyond human proportions blocking out the sun and causing it to snow in [[CWCville]] as seen in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrxb_8dWa5Y this] video.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Claw.jpg|Notice how the threatening gesture is immediately negated by the [[medallions|Sonichu medallion]], the room full of toys, and the fact that it's being performed by what appears to be a blob that has sprouted limbs and a human head.
Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|[[BILLY MAYS]] shown plucking a still-living tree from the earth.
Image:Clawofdoom whatchrisbelieves.jpg|This is what Chris thinks he will look like after a few more weeks of playing [[Brutal Legend|''Brütal Legend'']].
Image:Claw of fail.jpg|She is mine now!
Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|You cannot ignore my [[power]]!
Image:Claw of fail 3.jpg|Seems like Chris is devoloping a new tic to go with [[Stress sigh|sigh]]s and [[Speech impediment|hmm]].
Image:Claw of fail attack.jpg|[[Duck|Duck]], it's coming right at us!
Image:Claw of fail 4.jpg|Moar claw
Image:Rageclaw.jpg|Has this gesture gotten less threatening with overuse?
File:Chriscash.jpg|[[100 2267|Clawd Cash]]
Image:SchuComic9P38.jpg|Double claws for the [[Homos]].
Image:Sonichu05-P12.jpg|An early claw cameo, note the evil character doing it.
Image:Hitler three.jpg| They both struggled against enemies, real and imagined, but Hitler never let a [[Michael Snyder|Jew]] get the better of him.
File:Rage1.PNG|Sonichu can do it too!
</gallery>
</center>

{{Mannerisms}}

[[Category:Mannerisms]]

Claw of Fail

2014-07-23T05:45:10Z

Ty Delle:

[[Image:Furyofmywrath.jpg|center]]

{{quote|SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY WRATH!|Chris, threatening [[Vivian Gee]] during his [[Sign Destruction Video]]}}

The '''Claw of Fail''' is a dramatic hand gesture used by Chris when he wants to emphasize whatever stupid point he's trying to make at the moment. Chris will hold his hand out, palm upturned, with his fingers outstretched and curled upwards, in the manner of a cartoonish villain.

Much in the way that Chris [[parody|steals]] [[Random access humorjokes]], [[Things Chris has ripped off|ideas]], and phrases he uses in everyday speech from movies, [[anime]], video games, and [[Ghostbusters|cartoons]], he also copies body language and hand gestures. Although normal humans may reference movies and such when it is funny, appropriate or ironic, Chris relies on these to teach him new words, phrases and ideas. In short, Chris is like a feral child, raised by television, who copies the mannerisms of his adoptive parent. When Chris stopped talking as a small child, his parents put him in front of the television for two-thirds of the day, which is a habit he's kept up all the way to the present time. Remember, whenever Chris is playing [[Little Big Planet|video games]], [[Sonichu|drawing comics]], or talking on the phone in his room, he often has a TV running in the background (sometimes muted and with closed captioning on, sometimes not).

The Claw of Fail is associated with, but not exclusive to, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]].

Christian has also shown TV pitchman [[BILLY MAYS]] clutching a miniature [[Wikipedia:Cornus (genus)|dogwood tree]] in a similar fashion, possibly as a display of dominance. In acting, this is usually called "milking the giant cow," and considered to be something only hams do. Chris can't even ham properly, though; the Claw looks stiff and unnatural, whereas a proper milking (see anything with [[wikipedia:Rudolf Klein-Rogge|Rudolf Klein-Rogge]] in it) is typically a very fluid and passionate gesture.

== Use in 2009 and beyond ==
Chris has taken to using the Claw of Fail as a symbol of power or dominance over his enemies, as seen in [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|his rap video]]. This is perhaps a sign of Chris's slow turn to the Dark Side as he indulges in the art of what he hates the most: [[troll]]ing. Given the blackmail videos and the theft of [[Kacey]], we can only assume it's a matter of time before Chris becomes a full blown supervillain and wears the [[Medallions of Fail|Black Sonichu medallion]] on a more regular basis.

It is also likely that the use of the Claw is directly proportional to the size of Chris's [[ego]], evident in the fact that as of [[October 2009]], Chris' ego had inflated beyond human proportions blocking out the sun and causing it to snow in [[CWCville]] as seen in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrxb_8dWa5Y this] video.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Claw.jpg|Notice how the threatening gesture is immediately negated by the [[medallions|Sonichu medallion]], the room full of toys, and the fact that it's being performed by what appears to be a blob that has sprouted limbs and a human head.
Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|[[BILLY MAYS]] shown plucking a still-living tree from the earth.
Image:Clawofdoom whatchrisbelieves.jpg|This is what Chris thinks he will look like after a few more weeks of playing [[Brutal Legend|''Brütal Legend'']].
Image:Claw of fail.jpg|She is mine now!
Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|You cannot ignore my [[power]]!
Image:Claw of fail 3.jpg|Seems like Chris is devoloping a new tic to go with [[Stress sigh|sigh]]s and [[Speech impediment|hmm]].
Image:Claw of fail attack.jpg|[[Duck|Duck]], it's coming right at us!
Image:Claw of fail 4.jpg|Moar claw
Image:Rageclaw.jpg|Has this gesture gotten less threatening with overuse?
File:Chriscash.jpg|[[100 2267|Clawd Cash]]
Image:SchuComic9P38.jpg|Double claws for the [[Homos]].
Image:Sonichu05-P12.jpg|An early claw cameo, note the evil character doing it.
Image:Hitler three.jpg| They both struggled against enemies, real and imagined, but Hitler never let a [[Michael Snyder|Jew]] get the better of him.
File:Rage1.PNG|Sonichu can do it too!
</gallery>
</center>

{{Mannerisms}}

[[Category:Mannerisms]]

A message to the Trolls

2014-07-22T21:44:52Z

Ty Delle: /* Transcript */

'''A message to the Trolls''' (video name: '''A message to the Trolls.MOV''') is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 10 [[March 2010]], a while after learning that [[The Wallflower]] had discovered the [[CWCki]]. In it, he mostly whines to the trolls for interfering with his life, but doesn't go into specifics- mentioning only that trolls have been messing with his [[Gal-Pals|friends]]. Then he [[Chris and Anger|punches]] [[PSEye|his camera]].

Note the lack of [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] and [[Amnyfest Ring|class ring]].

==Video==

{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = A message to the Trolls.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w2wd1cTdtqg}}
| stardate = 10 [[March 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{JokerShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Surfshack Tito (video)|Surfshack Tito]]
| next = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
}}

{{quote|You are nothing but god damn greedy, impatient, unloved, and corrupted fools.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A visibly upset Chris begins the video by speaking in a [[Speech impediment|barely-audiable, whining tone]]'']
This message is for every last god damn troll that has been pestering me for the past number of years, even the recent ones. I have been in a number of moments finding [[china|peace]] and losing it later. Because YOU [[Bob Walks In|WON'T LET ME BE]]!

You are su- You are a bunch of damn [[Chris's room|immature]] [[Chris's education|DUMBASSES]] who have [[Chris and hypocrisy|no lives of your own]].

You don't want me to have a little life of my own, you don't want me [[love quest|to find long-lasting peace and happiness for myself]], you don't want me to find the whole true love for myself because you are so [[Chris and Ego|sub-absorbed]] in yourselves, you don't wan- you only want me to give you more got-dang stories and [[Chris and art|art]] then I can give because of my... [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] comes in and out... it mostly comes in when I'm happy and have peace.

You are nothing but god damn [[Chris and money|greedy]], [[Mailbag|impatient]], [[Chris and remorse|unloved]], and [''shows the [[Claw of Fail|claw]]''] [[Chris and religion|corrupted]] fools. [[Heart level|Heartbreaks and heartaches]], they really hurt. I've let you all done so much whatever you want emotionally than me... but... it is GOD DAMN ANOTHER STORY WHEN YOU TRYTA HURT MY [[Megan|FRIENDS]] [[ShecameforCWC|AND GET THEM INVOLVED]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING]]! [''Chris punches the camera'']

==See also==
*[[Don't Mess With Me]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Surfshack Tito (video)|Surfshack Tito]]|nextlink=[[Don't Mess With Me]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2010| 2010-03-10]]
[[Category:Surfshack Tito Saga videos| 2010-03-10]]

A message to the Trolls

2014-07-22T21:42:44Z

Ty Delle: /* Transcript */

'''A message to the Trolls''' (video name: '''A message to the Trolls.MOV''') is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 10 [[March 2010]], a while after learning that [[The Wallflower]] had discovered the [[CWCki]]. In it, he mostly whines to the trolls for interfering with his life, but doesn't go into specifics- mentioning only that trolls have been messing with his [[Gal-Pals|friends]]. Then he [[Chris and Anger|punches]] [[PSEye|his camera]].

Note the lack of [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] and [[Amnyfest Ring|class ring]].

==Video==

{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = A message to the Trolls.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w2wd1cTdtqg}}
| stardate = 10 [[March 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = {{JokerShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Surfshack Tito (video)|Surfshack Tito]]
| next = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
}}

{{quote|You are nothing but god damn greedy, impatient, unloved, and corrupted fools.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''A visibly upset Chris begins the video by speaking in a [[Speech impediment|barely-audiable, whining tone]]'']
This message is for every last god damn troll that has been pestering me for the past number of years, even the recent ones. I have been in a number of moments finding [[china|peace]] and losing it later. Because YOU [[Bob Walks In|WON'T LET ME BE]]!

You are su- You are a bunch of damn [[Chris's room|immature]] [[Chris's education|DUMBASSES]] who have [[Chris and hypocrisy|no lives of your own]].

You don't want me to have a little life of my own, you don't want me [[love quest|to find long-lasting peace and happiness for myself]], you don't want me to find the whole true love for myself because you are so [[Chris and Ego|sub-absorbed]] in yourselves, you don't wan- you only want me to give you more got-dang stories and [[Chris and art|art]] then I can give because of my... [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] comes in and out... it mostly comes in when I'm happy and have peace.

You are nothing but god damn [[Chris and money|greedy]], [[Mailbag|impatient]], [[Chris and remorse|unloved]], and [''shows the [[Claw of Fail|claw]]''] [[Chris and religion|corrupted]] fools. [[Heart level|Heartbreaks and heartaches]], they really hurt. I've let you all done so much whatever you want emotionally than me... but... it is GOD DAMN ANOTHER STORY WITH YOU TRYTA HURT MY [[Megan|FRIENDS]] [[ShecameforCWC|AND GET THEM INVOLVED]] LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING [''Chris punches the camera'']

==See also==
*[[Don't Mess With Me]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Surfshack Tito (video)|Surfshack Tito]]|nextlink=[[Don't Mess With Me]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2010| 2010-03-10]]
[[Category:Surfshack Tito Saga videos| 2010-03-10]]

The Hook Cafe

2014-07-22T14:20:21Z

Ty Delle:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, or what Ash Ketchum would look like if he had grown up to be a [[obesity|fat]], [[Chris and health|acne-ridden]], [[homos|deeply closeted]] [[Chris|manchild]].]]

The local alternative weekly paper in [[Charlottesville]] is ''[[Wikipedia:The Hook (newspaper)|The Hook]]'', and its online personal-ads site is called '''''The HooK'' Café'''. Some time in early [[2010]], Chris posted a personal ad at the Cafe under the nickname "[[Chris and sex|direct2sex]]", declaring that he "Need [[China|Sexy Sweets]] from Woman." A ninety-day pass to the site is [[Chris and money|$40]], which means that Chris had to use his [[monthly tugboat]] to put the ad up.

The ad was one of the most blatant confirmations that Chris is no longer interested in "true love" and was now simply looking to get laid. This is not totally unexpected, as most of his followers have always believed that true honest love was merely a ruse to get sex, and that if Chris could get to the [[hanky-panky]] without having to actually care about someone, he would do so in a heartbeat.

Of note are the differences between this and his previous [[dating profiles]]. By this time, Chris had apparently been making an attempt at being a grown-up, and as a result he neglected to mention ''[[Sonichu]]'', his [[autism]], or the fact he was a twenty-eight-year-old [[virgin with rage]]. He also has started to specify a desire for women 21 years or older (but not older than himself, despite his pretty obvious desire for a mother-like mate). In the past, he had been open to the idea of dating an eighteen-year-old, despite the vast age difference, and really only stopped at that age for [[Pedofork|legal reasons]].

This is also not the first time Chris has posted a personal ad on ''The HooK'' Café. An earlier attempt, where Chris promoted himself as a "Handsome Virgin searching for Woman," fell victim to hackers around the beginning of 2009. Unfortunately, most of its original contents weren't preserved before the trolls gave it a makeover. It's the hacked version that's referred to in Chris's [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]].

Chris was able to solicit the attentions of a young lady named [[Jackie]] on this website. After [[Jackie e-mails|getting to know him]], she learned to steer clearly away. Long after she stopped responding to his pleas, Chris released [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] in [[September 2010]] declaring his undying love for her.

On 9 [[April 2010]], the moderators on the site deleted Chris's profile, possibly due to a flood of fake profiles set up by [[trolls]]. Several troll profiles were also deleted. With the death of this profile, Chris has apparently shifted his efforts back to [[OkCupid]] as his go-to for soliciting sex via the Internet.

==Ad==
[[Image:direct2sex.jpg|thumb|A screenshot of the ad, as of 5 April 2010.]]
The following is all the information included in the ad as of 5 [[April 2010]]. All misspellings or unusual capitalizations are from the original page. The peculiar entry under "Religion" (which lists his affiliation as both "[[Chris and religion|Methodist]]" and "None") is probably the result of an error Chris made when filling out the form that produced his profile.

===Introduction===
I am an [[honest content|honest]], [[Chris and anger|compassionate]] [[Megan Saga|gentleman]], with a good sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. I am looking for good time(s) with a woman; I'm not getting any younger. I would like a 21-28 year old woman with a pretty face, a sexy slim to [[Obesity|average body]] and an honest and compassionate personality. Show me your honest and sweet interest and love, and I'll show you a good time. Hit me up with an e-mail with your photo and digits, and I will respond quickly in suit. Smokers, [[Obesity|overweights]], [[Niggos|blacks]] and [[List of Chris's lies|liars]] need not apply.

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Man''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''[[Fuck Quest|Friends with benefits]], [[Hanky-panky|Some Action]], Casual Dating''' 
Body Type: '''[[Obesity|Average, Muscular, Height / Weight proportionate]]''' 
Eyes: '''[[Heterochromia|L=Blue, R=Green]]''' 
Height: '''5' 10"''' 
Hair Type: '''Brown''' 
Age: '''28''' 
Seeks: [[china|'''Woman for Dating, Woman for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|College graduate]]''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''[[Chris and religion|None, Christian / Methodist]]''' 
Political Leanings: '''[[Obama|Moderate]]''' 
City: '''[[Ruckersville]]''' 
Occupation: '''[[Chris and art|Artist]]''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Yes]]'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Socially]]''' 
Drugs: '''[[Yawning Squirtle|Not interested]]'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''[[Son-chu|Car]], [[Sonichu's Edge|Walk]]''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Obesity|Conscious Omnivore]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''[[R.L. Stine|Reading]], [[Sonichu|Creating]], [[Guitar Hero|Playing sports]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Clubbing]], [[30 Push-Ups|Working out]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Shopping]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], Biking''' 
Funniest Thing: '''A man chasing a dog. [[Random-access humor|And the dog has a ham in its mouth]]'''

===Deeper===
The best thing about Charlottesville is: '''The vast history behind it.'''

My radio dial is usually tuned to? '''[[Chris and music|Z-95.1]]'''

Quote a line from your favorite movie. '''[[Mary Poppins|Supercalifragilisticespialadocious]]'''

[[A Hike|Thomas Jefferson]] makes me: '''feel inspired and better enjoy Charlottesville, VA.'''

The first thing I read in the Hook is? '''[[Chris and art|The Arts]].'''

Name three things [[Semen|you shouldn't have eaten]]. '''Beets, [[Pickles]], Relish.'''

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Tobacky|smokers]]''' [[Chris and English|is]] a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: [[Chris and reality|the brain of a '''college graduate''' and the body of a '''Playboy Womam]]'''

[[Mom|People]] say '''[[Chris and his Ego|my face is my best feature]]'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''[[Chris and art|The Arts]]'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''sweet compassion''' The quickest way to my bed is '''honest lovin'''' And in the morning, I like my [[Christian's sex joke|eggs]] cooked '''fried and well-done'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'''

'''[[Golden Corral]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
'''[[Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Summer''' or Winter

'''[[Computers|PC]]''' or Mac

'''Cavaliers''' or [[War Paint Video|Redskins]]

'''[[Chris and death|Casket]]''' or Cremation

Fax or '''Email'''

[[Hair|Dyed or '''Natural''']]

SUV or '''[[Son-Chu|Sedan]]'''

==See also==
* [[Dating profiles]]
* [[Match.com]]

==External links==
*[http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/ ''The HooK'' Café]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hook Cafe}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga]]

Match.com

2014-07-22T14:16:33Z

Ty Delle: /* In his own words */

[[File:Matchdotcomscreencap.jpg|thumb|Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.]]

Probably the most famous dating site on [[the Internet]], '''Match.com''' has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the [[Homos|same sex]]). The site is overflowing with [[boyfriend-free girls]] looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up an account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' days. The profile probably dates to some time in [[2006]], since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24 (Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart). However, he also claims to be "doing well" at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (which he graduated in [[2005]]), but perhaps he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it since, and yet he's logged into the site as recently as 6 [[April 2010]], which is surprising considering how quickly he abandoned his [[Dating profiles#OKCupid|OKCupid profile]].

The text of the page is pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet before he [[The Hook Cafe|gave up on "true love" altogether]]: claims about how he keeps his promises, is [[honest]], etc. There are, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He fails to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a [[Cherokian|Native American]] mate, instead of his usual demand of a White/Asian woman.

Chris's old Match.com profile was eventually deleted, but a new profile under the username "cwcvilleguardian" was discovered on [[2013|August 2013]]. Reproduced below are the two profiles in question.

==SonichuCWC profile text==
[[File:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|One of Chris's 4 profile pictures]]
[[File:Matchdotcom2.jpeg|thumb|And another.]]
'''Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)'''

28-year-old man [''Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
 [[wikipedia:Advance Mills, Virginia|Advance Mills]], [[Virginia]], [[United States]] ''[Note: Chris litsted Advance Mills as his location in both this profile and his cwcvilleguardian profiles. As far as it is publicly known Chris has never lived there, and we do not know why it was listed it as his location.]''
 seeking women 18-24
 within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
 '''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Some]][[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|day]]
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''[[Fat|Body type:]]''' [[WeighIn|About average]] [''This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris ever was'']
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Religion:''' [[Chris and religion|No Answer]]
 '''Smoke:''' [[Tobacky|No Way]]
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Never]]

===About me and who I'm looking for===
I feel that I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Lego]]s, [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Chris and art|drawing cartoonishly]]. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, [[Sonichu]]. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes [[Chris and sex|some of the things I do]]. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area, has a happy, positive personality, [[Pedofork|young at heart]], [[Chris and reality|very pretty]], Average income, and [[Noviophobia|does not already have a Boyfriend]]. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from [[High School]] with [[Honor Roll]], [[Chris and Reality|I am doing very well at]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

===In my Own Words===
'''for fun:''' I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], listening to music, playing video games and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[card games]]. I also like [[anime]], creating with [[Lego]] pieces, and I love [[Barb|my]] [[Bob|family]]. And sometimes, I work on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my Sonichu Site]].

'''[[Chris's education|my education]]:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[Charlottesville]] where I am working towards a [[CADD]] degree.

'''favorite hot spots:''' I go to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping center]] on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic Game & Hobby Place]] (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at [[Wal-Mart]] in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

'''favorite things:''' In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, [[Mary Poppins]] (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the [[China|lovely scenery]] on the [[UVA]] campus.

===About me===
'''[[Hair]]:''' Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
 '''Sports and exercise:''' Baseball, [[Bionic|Basketball]], Bowling, [[Fridays After Five|Dancing]], Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, [[Sonichu's Edge|Running]], Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, [[A Hike|Walking / Hiking]], [[11042009 51 50|Weights / Machines]]
 '''Exercise habits:''' Exercise 1-2 times per week
 '''Interests:''' [[Coffee Place|Coffee]] and conversation, [[SpaghettiRoutine|Cooking]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], [[Ohio trip|Exploring new areas]], Fishing/Hunting, [[Chris and art|Hobbies and crafts]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Movies/Videos]], Museums and art, [[Music]] and [[Fridays After Five|concerts]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Nightclubs]]/[[Chris's Big Night Out II|Dancing]], [[Card games|Playing cards]], [[Bionic|Playing sports]], [[Chris and money|Shopping/Antiques]], [[Video games]], Volunteering
 '''Education:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]]
 '''Occupation:''' [[Wendy's|No Answer]]
 '''Income:''' [[Monthly tugboat|No Answer]]
 '''Languages:''' Spanish
 '''Politics:''' Middle of the Road
 '''Sign:''' [[I Got A Fish|Pisces]]
 '''Pets I have:''' [[Cats]], [[Patti|Dogs]]
 '''Pets I like:''' Birds, Fish, Horses

===About my date===
'''Hair:''' Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|No Answer]]
 '''Height:''' 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Cherokian|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''Faith:''' No Answer
 '''Education:''' [[High school]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]], [[CADD|Associates degree]], [[Chris and reality|Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral]]
 '''Job:''' No Answer
 '''Income:''' No Answer
 '''[[Tobacky|Smoke]]:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' Never
 '''Relationships:''' [[Virgin with rage|Never Married]]
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Definitely]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Someday]]

==cwcvilleguardian profile text==

32 year old man
 Advance Mills, [[Virginia]], [[United States]]
 seeking women 25-30
 within 25 miles of [[Ruckersville]], [[VA]]

===His details===

'''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' Definitely
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Native American]], White / Caucasian
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Religion:''' Christian / Other ''[Note: As of the time of this writing (20 June 2014), Match.com allows its users to list as their religion four options pertaining to Christianity: "Christian / Catholic", "Christian / LDS", "Christian / Protestant" and "Christian / Other". Why did Chris chose the last option when "Christian / Protestant" is more fitting of him is not known.]''
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Social Drinker]]

===In his own words===

"I am an all-around, [[Chris and Anger|emotionally]] [[Chris's Room|mature]], [[Gun Comic|good natured]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of [[Chris|freak]] or something. [[Father Call|I am a good listener]], and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of Cwcville, VA. I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant heartaches.

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding, patient, and [[Chris and Money|financially stable]] [[Chris and Reality|(I get along fair and surviving)]]..

[[Women's Rights|ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY]]; I have had bad online experiences numerously from a lot of fake people. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be."

'''Sign:''' Pisces

'''Political views:''' Middle of the Road

'''College:''' Piedmont Virginia Community College, Charlottesville, VA

'''For fun:''' "Creating artwork, reflecting/thinking, video games, [[Chris and English|care taking]] [[Barb|my mom]] and our two beagle pups."

'''Pets:''' I have Cats, Dogs

'''Favorite hot spots:''' "I can be found either pondering over tea or coffee at McDonalds, or Burger King, in Ruckersville, or walking once around the nearby Wal-Mart."

'''Favorite things:''' "Sonichu and Rosechu, Mary Poppins (movie), color: blue, most music (jazz, POP and easy listening are cool); I like Britney Spears and Katy Perry (top two favorite artists)."

===More about him===

====Him====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Obesity|About average]]
 '''Eyes:''' Blue
 '''Hair:''' Light brown

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' Social Drinker
 '''Occupation:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|I'll tell]] [[lie|you later]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' Native American, White / Caucasian
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Part Cherokee, British, French and English."
 '''Faith:''' Christian / Other
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Methodist at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
 '''Languages:''' English, Spanish
 '''Education:''' Bachelors degree

====What he is looking for====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 4'10" (147cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, Full-figured]]
 '''Eyes:''' No preference
 '''Hair:''' No preference

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' No preference
 '''Occupation:''' No preference
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|$50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely, Someday

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Niggos|No preference]]
 '''Faith:''' No preference
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Education:''' No preference

==See also==
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Dating profiles]]

==External links==
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&Handle=SonichuCWC&uid=p6pWeNyd69Zt4vDF/badgQ== Chris's page (404'd as of Jun 2014)]
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx/?handle=cwcvilleguardian&tp=prtbk Chris's new page]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Match.com

2014-07-22T14:15:51Z

Ty Delle:

[[File:Matchdotcomscreencap.jpg|thumb|Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.]]

Probably the most famous dating site on [[the Internet]], '''Match.com''' has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the [[Homos|same sex]]). The site is overflowing with [[boyfriend-free girls]] looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up an account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' days. The profile probably dates to some time in [[2006]], since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24 (Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart). However, he also claims to be "doing well" at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (which he graduated in [[2005]]), but perhaps he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it since, and yet he's logged into the site as recently as 6 [[April 2010]], which is surprising considering how quickly he abandoned his [[Dating profiles#OKCupid|OKCupid profile]].

The text of the page is pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet before he [[The Hook Cafe|gave up on "true love" altogether]]: claims about how he keeps his promises, is [[honest]], etc. There are, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He fails to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a [[Cherokian|Native American]] mate, instead of his usual demand of a White/Asian woman.

Chris's old Match.com profile was eventually deleted, but a new profile under the username "cwcvilleguardian" was discovered on [[2013|August 2013]]. Reproduced below are the two profiles in question.

==SonichuCWC profile text==
[[File:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|One of Chris's 4 profile pictures]]
[[File:Matchdotcom2.jpeg|thumb|And another.]]
'''Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)'''

28-year-old man [''Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
 [[wikipedia:Advance Mills, Virginia|Advance Mills]], [[Virginia]], [[United States]] ''[Note: Chris litsted Advance Mills as his location in both this profile and his cwcvilleguardian profiles. As far as it is publicly known Chris has never lived there, and we do not know why it was listed it as his location.]''
 seeking women 18-24
 within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
 '''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Some]][[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|day]]
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''[[Fat|Body type:]]''' [[WeighIn|About average]] [''This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris ever was'']
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Religion:''' [[Chris and religion|No Answer]]
 '''Smoke:''' [[Tobacky|No Way]]
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Never]]

===About me and who I'm looking for===
I feel that I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Lego]]s, [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Chris and art|drawing cartoonishly]]. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, [[Sonichu]]. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes [[Chris and sex|some of the things I do]]. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area, has a happy, positive personality, [[Pedofork|young at heart]], [[Chris and reality|very pretty]], Average income, and [[Noviophobia|does not already have a Boyfriend]]. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from [[High School]] with [[Honor Roll]], [[Chris and Reality|I am doing very well at]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

===In my Own Words===
'''for fun:''' I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], listening to music, playing video games and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[card games]]. I also like [[anime]], creating with [[Lego]] pieces, and I love [[Barb|my]] [[Bob|family]]. And sometimes, I work on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my Sonichu Site]].

'''[[Chris's education|my education]]:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[Charlottesville]] where I am working towards a [[CADD]] degree.

'''favorite hot spots:''' I go to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping center]] on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic Game & Hobby Place]] (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at [[Wal-Mart]] in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

'''favorite things:''' In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, [[Mary Poppins]] (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the [[China|lovely scenery]] on the [[UVA]] campus.

===About me===
'''[[Hair]]:''' Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
 '''Sports and exercise:''' Baseball, [[Bionic|Basketball]], Bowling, [[Fridays After Five|Dancing]], Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, [[Sonichu's Edge|Running]], Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, [[A Hike|Walking / Hiking]], [[11042009 51 50|Weights / Machines]]
 '''Exercise habits:''' Exercise 1-2 times per week
 '''Interests:''' [[Coffee Place|Coffee]] and conversation, [[SpaghettiRoutine|Cooking]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], [[Ohio trip|Exploring new areas]], Fishing/Hunting, [[Chris and art|Hobbies and crafts]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Movies/Videos]], Museums and art, [[Music]] and [[Fridays After Five|concerts]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Nightclubs]]/[[Chris's Big Night Out II|Dancing]], [[Card games|Playing cards]], [[Bionic|Playing sports]], [[Chris and money|Shopping/Antiques]], [[Video games]], Volunteering
 '''Education:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]]
 '''Occupation:''' [[Wendy's|No Answer]]
 '''Income:''' [[Monthly tugboat|No Answer]]
 '''Languages:''' Spanish
 '''Politics:''' Middle of the Road
 '''Sign:''' [[I Got A Fish|Pisces]]
 '''Pets I have:''' [[Cats]], [[Patti|Dogs]]
 '''Pets I like:''' Birds, Fish, Horses

===About my date===
'''Hair:''' Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|No Answer]]
 '''Height:''' 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Cherokian|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''Faith:''' No Answer
 '''Education:''' [[High school]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]], [[CADD|Associates degree]], [[Chris and reality|Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral]]
 '''Job:''' No Answer
 '''Income:''' No Answer
 '''[[Tobacky|Smoke]]:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' Never
 '''Relationships:''' [[Virgin with rage|Never Married]]
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Definitely]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Someday]]

==cwcvilleguardian profile text==

32 year old man
 Advance Mills, [[Virginia]], [[United States]]
 seeking women 25-30
 within 25 miles of [[Ruckersville]], [[VA]]

===His details===

'''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' Definitely
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Native American]], White / Caucasian
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Religion:''' Christian / Other ''[Note: As of the time of this writing (20 June 2014), Match.com allows its users to list as their religion four options pertaining to Christianity: "Christian / Catholic", "Christian / LDS", "Christian / Protestant" and "Christian / Other". Why did Chris chose the last option when "Christian / Protestant" is more fitting of him is not known.]''
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Social Drinker]]

===In his own words===

"I am an all-around, [[Chris and Anger|emotionally]] [[Chris's Room|mature]], [[Gun Comic|good natured]], [[Slow In The Minds|high-functioning autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of [[Chris|freak]] or something. [[Father Call|I am a good listener]], and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of Cwcville, VA. I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant heartaches.

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding, patient, and [[Chris and Money|financially stable]] [[Chris and Reality|(I get along fair and surviving)]]..

[[Women's Rights|ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY]]; I have had bad online experiences numerously from a lot of fake people. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be."

'''Sign:''' Pisces

'''Political views:''' Middle of the Road

'''College:''' Piedmont Virginia Community College, Charlottesville, VA

'''For fun:''' "Creating artwork, reflecting/thinking, video games, [[Chris and English|care taking]] [[Barb|my mom]] and our two beagle pups."

'''Pets:''' I have Cats, Dogs

'''Favorite hot spots:''' "I can be found either pondering over tea or coffee at McDonalds, or Burger King, in Ruckersville, or walking once around the nearby Wal-Mart."

'''Favorite things:''' "Sonichu and Rosechu, Mary Poppins (movie), color: blue, most music (jazz, POP and easy listening are cool); I like Britney Spears and Katy Perry (top two favorite artists)."

===More about him===

====Him====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Obesity|About average]]
 '''Eyes:''' Blue
 '''Hair:''' Light brown

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' Social Drinker
 '''Occupation:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|I'll tell]] [[lie|you later]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' Native American, White / Caucasian
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Part Cherokee, British, French and English."
 '''Faith:''' Christian / Other
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Methodist at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
 '''Languages:''' English, Spanish
 '''Education:''' Bachelors degree

====What he is looking for====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 4'10" (147cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, Full-figured]]
 '''Eyes:''' No preference
 '''Hair:''' No preference

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' No preference
 '''Occupation:''' No preference
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|$50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely, Someday

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Niggos|No preference]]
 '''Faith:''' No preference
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Education:''' No preference

==See also==
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Dating profiles]]

==External links==
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&Handle=SonichuCWC&uid=p6pWeNyd69Zt4vDF/badgQ== Chris's page (404'd as of Jun 2014)]
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx/?handle=cwcvilleguardian&tp=prtbk Chris's new page]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Match.com

2014-07-22T14:15:30Z

Ty Delle:

[[File:Matchdotcomscreencap.jpg|thumb|Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.]]

Probably the most famous dating site on [[the Internet]], '''Match.com''' has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the [[Homos|same sex]]). The site is overflowing with [[boyfriend-free girls]] looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up an account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' days. The profile probably dates to some time in [[2006]], since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24 (Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart). However, he also claims to be "doing well" at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (which he graduated in [[2005]]), but perhaps he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it since, and yet he's logged into the site as recently as 6 [[April 2010]], which is surprising considering how quickly he abandoned his [[Dating profiles#OKCupid|OKCupid profile]].

The text of the page is pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet before he [[The Hook Cafe|gave up on "true love" altogether]]: claims about how he keeps his promises, is [[honest]], etc. There are, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He fails to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a [[Cherokian|Native American]] mate, instead of his usual demand of a White/Asian woman.

Chris's old Match.com profile was eventually deleted, but a new profile under the username "cwcvilleguardian" was discovered on [[2013|August 2013]]. Reproduced below are the two profiles in question.

==SonichuCWC profile text==
[[File:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|One of Chris's 4 profile pictures]]
[[File:Matchdotcom2.jpeg|thumb|And another.]]
'''Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)'''

28-year-old man [''Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
 [[wikipedia:Advance Mills, Virginia|Advance Mills]], [[Virginia]], [[United States]] ''[Note: Chris litsted Advance Mills as his location in both this profile and his cwcvilleguardian profiles. As far as it is publicly known Chris has never lived there, and we do not know why it was listed it as his location.]''
 seeking women 18-24
 within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
 '''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Some]][[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|day]]
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''[[Fat|Body type:]]''' [[WeighIn|About average]] [''This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris ever was'']
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Religion:''' [[Chris and religion|No Answer]]
 '''Smoke:''' [[Tobacky|No Way]]
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Never]]

===About me and who I'm looking for===
I feel that I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Lego]]s, [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Chris and art|drawing cartoonishly]]. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, [[Sonichu]]. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes [[Chris and sex|some of the things I do]]. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area, has a happy, positive personality, [[Pedofork|young at heart]], [[Chris and reality|very pretty]], Average income, and [[Noviophobia|does not already have a Boyfriend]]. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from [[High School]] with [[Honor Roll]], [[Chris and Reality|I am doing very well at]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

===In my Own Words===
'''for fun:''' I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], listening to music, playing video games and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[card games]]. I also like [[anime]], creating with [[Lego]] pieces, and I love [[Barb|my]] [[Bob|family]]. And sometimes, I work on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my Sonichu Site]].

'''[[Chris's education|my education]]:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[Charlottesville]] where I am working towards a [[CADD]] degree.

'''favorite hot spots:''' I go to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping center]] on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic Game & Hobby Place]] (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at [[Wal-Mart]] in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

'''favorite things:''' In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, [[Mary Poppins]] (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the [[China|lovely scenery]] on the [[UVA]] campus.

===About me===
'''[[Hair]]:''' Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
 '''Sports and exercise:''' Baseball, [[Bionic|Basketball]], Bowling, [[Fridays After Five|Dancing]], Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, [[Sonichu's Edge|Running]], Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, [[A Hike|Walking / Hiking]], [[11042009 51 50|Weights / Machines]]
 '''Exercise habits:''' Exercise 1-2 times per week
 '''Interests:''' [[Coffee Place|Coffee]] and conversation, [[SpaghettiRoutine|Cooking]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], [[Ohio trip|Exploring new areas]], Fishing/Hunting, [[Chris and art|Hobbies and crafts]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Movies/Videos]], Museums and art, [[Music]] and [[Fridays After Five|concerts]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Nightclubs]]/[[Chris's Big Night Out II|Dancing]], [[Card games|Playing cards]], [[Bionic|Playing sports]], [[Chris and money|Shopping/Antiques]], [[Video games]], Volunteering
 '''Education:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]]
 '''Occupation:''' [[Wendy's|No Answer]]
 '''Income:''' [[Monthly tugboat|No Answer]]
 '''Languages:''' Spanish
 '''Politics:''' Middle of the Road
 '''Sign:''' [[I Got A Fish|Pisces]]
 '''Pets I have:''' [[Cats]], [[Patti|Dogs]]
 '''Pets I like:''' Birds, Fish, Horses

===About my date===
'''Hair:''' Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|No Answer]]
 '''Height:''' 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Cherokian|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''Faith:''' No Answer
 '''Education:''' [[High school]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]], [[CADD|Associates degree]], [[Chris and reality|Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral]]
 '''Job:''' No Answer
 '''Income:''' No Answer
 '''[[Tobacky|Smoke]]:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' Never
 '''Relationships:''' [[Virgin with rage|Never Married]]
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Definitely]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Someday]]

==cwcvilleguardian profile text==

32 year old man
 Advance Mills, [[Virginia]], [[United States]]
 seeking women 25-30
 within 25 miles of [[Ruckersville]], [[VA]]

===His details===

'''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' Definitely
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Native American]], White / Caucasian
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Religion:''' Christian / Other ''[Note: As of the time of this writing (20 June 2014), Match.com allows its users to list as their religion four options pertaining to Christianity: "Christian / Catholic", "Christian / LDS", "Christian / Protestant" and "Christian / Other". Why did Chris chose the last option when "Christian / Protestant" is more fitting of him is not known.]''
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Social Drinker]]

===In his own words===

"I am an all-around, [[Chris and Anger|emotionally]] [[Chris's Room|mature]], [[Gun Comic|good natured]], [[Slow-In-The-Minds|high-functioning autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of [[Chris|freak]] or something. [[Father Call|I am a good listener]], and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of Cwcville, VA. I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant heartaches.

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding, patient, and [[Chris and Money|financially stable]] [[Chris and Reality|(I get along fair and surviving)]]..

[[Women's Rights|ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY]]; I have had bad online experiences numerously from a lot of fake people. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be."

'''Sign:''' Pisces

'''Political views:''' Middle of the Road

'''College:''' Piedmont Virginia Community College, Charlottesville, VA

'''For fun:''' "Creating artwork, reflecting/thinking, video games, [[Chris and English|care taking]] [[Barb|my mom]] and our two beagle pups."

'''Pets:''' I have Cats, Dogs

'''Favorite hot spots:''' "I can be found either pondering over tea or coffee at McDonalds, or Burger King, in Ruckersville, or walking once around the nearby Wal-Mart."

'''Favorite things:''' "Sonichu and Rosechu, Mary Poppins (movie), color: blue, most music (jazz, POP and easy listening are cool); I like Britney Spears and Katy Perry (top two favorite artists)."

===More about him===

====Him====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Obesity|About average]]
 '''Eyes:''' Blue
 '''Hair:''' Light brown

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' Social Drinker
 '''Occupation:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|I'll tell]] [[lie|you later]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' Native American, White / Caucasian
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Part Cherokee, British, French and English."
 '''Faith:''' Christian / Other
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Methodist at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
 '''Languages:''' English, Spanish
 '''Education:''' Bachelors degree

====What he is looking for====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 4'10" (147cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, Full-figured]]
 '''Eyes:''' No preference
 '''Hair:''' No preference

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' No preference
 '''Occupation:''' No preference
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|$50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely, Someday

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Niggos|No preference]]
 '''Faith:''' No preference
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Education:''' No preference

==See also==
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Dating profiles]]

==External links==
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&Handle=SonichuCWC&uid=p6pWeNyd69Zt4vDF/badgQ== Chris's page (404'd as of Jun 2014)]
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx/?handle=cwcvilleguardian&tp=prtbk Chris's new page]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Match.com

2014-07-22T14:12:08Z

Ty Delle: /* About me and who I'm looking for */

[[File:Matchdotcomscreencap.jpg|thumb|Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.]]

Probably the most famous dating site on [[the Internet]], '''Match.com''' has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the [[Homos|same sex]]). The site is overflowing with [[boyfriend-free girls]] looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up an account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' days. The profile probably dates to some time in [[2006]], since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24 (Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart). However, he also claims to be "doing well" at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (which he graduated in [[2005]]), but perhaps he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it since, and yet he's logged into the site as recently as 6 [[April 2010]], which is surprising considering how quickly he abandoned his [[Dating profiles#OKCupid|OKCupid profile]].

The text of the page is pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet before he [[The Hook Cafe|gave up on "true love" altogether]]: claims about how he keeps his promises, is [[honest]], etc. There are, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He fails to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a [[Cherokian|Native American]] mate, instead of his usual demand of a White/Asian woman.

Chris's old Match.com profile was eventually deleted, but a new profile under the username "cwcvilleguardian" was discovered on [[2013|August 2013]]. Reproduced below are the two profiles in question.

==SonichuCWC profile text==
[[File:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|One of Chris's 4 profile pictures]]
[[File:Matchdotcom2.jpeg|thumb|And another.]]
'''Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)'''

28-year-old man [''Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
 [[wikipedia:Advance Mills, Virginia|Advance Mills]], [[Virginia]], [[United States]] ''[Note: Chris litsted Advance Mills as his location in both this profile and his cwcvilleguardian profiles. As far as it is publicly known Chris has never lived there, and we do not know why it was listed it as his location.]''
 seeking women 18-24
 within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
 '''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Some]][[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|day]]
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''[[Fat|Body type:]]''' [[WeighIn|About average]] [''This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris ever was'']
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Religion:''' [[Chris and religion|No Answer]]
 '''Smoke:''' [[Tobacky|No Way]]
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Never]]

===About me and who I'm looking for===
I feel that I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Lego]]s, [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Chris and art|drawing cartoonishly]]. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, [[Sonichu]]. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes [[Chris and sex|some of the things I do]]. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area, has a happy, positive personality, [[Pedofork|young at heart]], [[Chris and reality|very pretty]], Average income, and [[Noviophobia|does not already have a Boyfriend]]. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from [[High School]] with [[Honor Roll]], [[Chris and Reality|I am doing very well at]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

===In my Own Words===
'''for fun:''' I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], listening to music, playing video games and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[card games]]. I also like [[anime]], creating with [[Lego]] pieces, and I love [[Barb|my]] [[Bob|family]]. And sometimes, I work on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my Sonichu Site]].

'''[[Chris's education|my education]]:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[Charlottesville]] where I am working towards a [[CADD]] degree.

'''favorite hot spots:''' I go to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping center]] on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic Game & Hobby Place]] (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at [[Wal-Mart]] in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

'''favorite things:''' In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, [[Mary Poppins]] (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the [[China|lovely scenery]] on the [[UVA]] campus.

===About me===
'''[[Hair]]:''' Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
 '''Sports and exercise:''' Baseball, [[Bionic|Basketball]], Bowling, [[Fridays After Five|Dancing]], Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, [[Sonichu's Edge|Running]], Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, [[A Hike|Walking / Hiking]], [[11042009 51 50|Weights / Machines]]
 '''Exercise habits:''' Exercise 1-2 times per week
 '''Interests:''' [[Coffee Place|Coffee]] and conversation, [[SpaghettiRoutine|Cooking]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], [[Ohio trip|Exploring new areas]], Fishing/Hunting, [[Chris and art|Hobbies and crafts]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Movies/Videos]], Museums and art, [[Music]] and [[Fridays After Five|concerts]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Nightclubs]]/[[Chris's Big Night Out II|Dancing]], [[Card games|Playing cards]], [[Bionic|Playing sports]], [[Chris and money|Shopping/Antiques]], [[Video games]], Volunteering
 '''Education:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]]
 '''Occupation:''' [[Wendy's|No Answer]]
 '''Income:''' [[Monthly tugboat|No Answer]]
 '''Languages:''' Spanish
 '''Politics:''' Middle of the Road
 '''Sign:''' [[I Got A Fish|Pisces]]
 '''Pets I have:''' [[Cats]], [[Patti|Dogs]]
 '''Pets I like:''' Birds, Fish, Horses

===About my date===
'''Hair:''' Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|No Answer]]
 '''Height:''' 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Cherokian|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''Faith:''' No Answer
 '''Education:''' [[High school]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]], [[CADD|Associates degree]], [[Chris and reality|Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral]]
 '''Job:''' No Answer
 '''Income:''' No Answer
 '''[[Tobacky|Smoke]]:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' Never
 '''Relationships:''' [[Virgin with rage|Never Married]]
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Definitely]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Someday]]

==cwcvilleguardian profile text==

32 year old man
 Advance Mills, [[Virginia]], [[United States]]
 seeking women 25-30
 within 25 miles of [[Ruckersville]], [[VA]]

===His details===

'''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' Definitely
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Native American]], White / Caucasian
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Religion:''' Christian / Other ''[Note: As of the time of this writing (20 June 2014), Match.com allows its users to list as their religion four options pertaining to Christianity: "Christian / Catholic", "Christian / LDS", "Christian / Protestant" and "Christian / Other". Why did Chris chose the last option when "Christian / Protestant" is more fitting of him is not known.]''
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Social Drinker]]

===In his own words===

"I am an all-around, [[Chris and Anger|emotionally]] [[Chris's Room|mature]], [[Gun Comic|good natured]], [[Slow-In-The-Mind|high-functioning autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of [[Chris|freak]] or something. [[Father Call|I am a good listener]], and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of Cwcville, VA. I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant heartaches.

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding, patient, and [[Chris and Money|financially stable]] [[Chris and Reality|(I get along fair and surviving)]]..

[[Women's Rights|ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY]]; I have had bad online experiences numerously from a lot of fake people. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be."

'''Sign:''' Pisces

'''Political views:''' Middle of the Road

'''College:''' Piedmont Virginia Community College, Charlottesville, VA

'''For fun:''' "Creating artwork, reflecting/thinking, video games, [[Chris and English|care taking]] [[Barb|my mom]] and our two beagle pups."

'''Pets:''' I have Cats, Dogs

'''Favorite hot spots:''' "I can be found either pondering over tea or coffee at McDonalds, or Burger King, in Ruckersville, or walking once around the nearby Wal-Mart."

'''Favorite things:''' "Sonichu and Rosechu, Mary Poppins (movie), color: blue, most music (jazz, POP and easy listening are cool); I like Britney Spears and Katy Perry (top two favorite artists)."

===More about him===

====Him====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Obesity|About average]]
 '''Eyes:''' Blue
 '''Hair:''' Light brown

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' Social Drinker
 '''Occupation:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|I'll tell]] [[lie|you later]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' Native American, White / Caucasian
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Part Cherokee, British, French and English."
 '''Faith:''' Christian / Other
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Methodist at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
 '''Languages:''' English, Spanish
 '''Education:''' Bachelors degree

====What he is looking for====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 4'10" (147cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, Full-figured]]
 '''Eyes:''' No preference
 '''Hair:''' No preference

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' No preference
 '''Occupation:''' No preference
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|$50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely, Someday

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Niggos|No preference]]
 '''Faith:''' No preference
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Education:''' No preference

==See also==
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Dating profiles]]

==External links==
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&Handle=SonichuCWC&uid=p6pWeNyd69Zt4vDF/badgQ== Chris's page (404'd as of Jun 2014)]
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx/?handle=cwcvilleguardian&tp=prtbk Chris's new page]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Match.com

2014-07-22T13:57:20Z

Ty Delle: /* About me and who I'm looking for */

[[File:Matchdotcomscreencap.jpg|thumb|Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.]]

Probably the most famous dating site on [[the Internet]], '''Match.com''' has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the [[Homos|same sex]]). The site is overflowing with [[boyfriend-free girls]] looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up an account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' days. The profile probably dates to some time in [[2006]], since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24 (Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart). However, he also claims to be "doing well" at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (which he graduated in [[2005]]), but perhaps he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it since, and yet he's logged into the site as recently as 6 [[April 2010]], which is surprising considering how quickly he abandoned his [[Dating profiles#OKCupid|OKCupid profile]].

The text of the page is pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet before he [[The Hook Cafe|gave up on "true love" altogether]]: claims about how he keeps his promises, is [[honest]], etc. There are, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He fails to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a [[Cherokian|Native American]] mate, instead of his usual demand of a White/Asian woman.

Chris's old Match.com profile was eventually deleted, but a new profile under the username "cwcvilleguardian" was discovered on [[2013|August 2013]]. Reproduced below are the two profiles in question.

==SonichuCWC profile text==
[[File:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|One of Chris's 4 profile pictures]]
[[File:Matchdotcom2.jpeg|thumb|And another.]]
'''Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)'''

28-year-old man [''Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
 [[wikipedia:Advance Mills, Virginia|Advance Mills]], [[Virginia]], [[United States]] ''[Note: Chris litsted Advance Mills as his location in both this profile and his cwcvilleguardian profiles. As far as it is publicly known Chris has never lived there, and we do not know why it was listed it as his location.]''
 seeking women 18-24
 within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
 '''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Some]][[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|day]]
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''[[Fat|Body type:]]''' [[WeighIn|About average]] [''This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris ever was'']
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Religion:''' [[Chris and religion|No Answer]]
 '''Smoke:''' [[Tobacky|No Way]]
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Never]]

===About me and who I'm looking for===
I feel that I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Lego]]s, [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Chris and art|drawing cartoonishly]]. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, [[Sonichu]]. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes [[Chris and sex|some of the things I do]]. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area, has a happy, positive personality, [[Pedofork|young at heart]], [[Chris and reality|very pretty]], Average income, and [[Noviophobia|does not already have a Boyfriend]]. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from [[High School]] with [[Honor Roll]], [[Chris and Reality|I am doing very well at]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

===In my Own Words===
'''for fun:''' I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], listening to music, playing video games and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[card games]]. I also like [[anime]], creating with [[Lego]] pieces, and I love [[Barb|my]] [[Bob|family]]. And sometimes, I work on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my Sonichu Site]].

'''[[Chris's education|my education]]:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[Charlottesville]] where I am working towards a [[CADD]] degree.

'''favorite hot spots:''' I go to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping center]] on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic Game & Hobby Place]] (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at [[Wal-Mart]] in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

'''favorite things:''' In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, [[Mary Poppins]] (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the [[China|lovely scenery]] on the [[UVA]] campus.

===About me===
'''[[Hair]]:''' Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
 '''Sports and exercise:''' Baseball, [[Bionic|Basketball]], Bowling, [[Fridays After Five|Dancing]], Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, [[Sonichu's Edge|Running]], Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, [[A Hike|Walking / Hiking]], [[11042009 51 50|Weights / Machines]]
 '''Exercise habits:''' Exercise 1-2 times per week
 '''Interests:''' [[Coffee Place|Coffee]] and conversation, [[SpaghettiRoutine|Cooking]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], [[Ohio trip|Exploring new areas]], Fishing/Hunting, [[Chris and art|Hobbies and crafts]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Movies/Videos]], Museums and art, [[Music]] and [[Fridays After Five|concerts]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Nightclubs]]/[[Chris's Big Night Out II|Dancing]], [[Card games|Playing cards]], [[Bionic|Playing sports]], [[Chris and money|Shopping/Antiques]], [[Video games]], Volunteering
 '''Education:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]]
 '''Occupation:''' [[Wendy's|No Answer]]
 '''Income:''' [[Monthly tugboat|No Answer]]
 '''Languages:''' Spanish
 '''Politics:''' Middle of the Road
 '''Sign:''' [[I Got A Fish|Pisces]]
 '''Pets I have:''' [[Cats]], [[Patti|Dogs]]
 '''Pets I like:''' Birds, Fish, Horses

===About my date===
'''Hair:''' Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|No Answer]]
 '''Height:''' 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Cherokian|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''Faith:''' No Answer
 '''Education:''' [[High school]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]], [[CADD|Associates degree]], [[Chris and reality|Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral]]
 '''Job:''' No Answer
 '''Income:''' No Answer
 '''[[Tobacky|Smoke]]:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' Never
 '''Relationships:''' [[Virgin with rage|Never Married]]
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Definitely]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Someday]]

==cwcvilleguardian profile text==

32 year old man
 Advance Mills, [[Virginia]], [[United States]]
 seeking women 25-30
 within 25 miles of [[Ruckersville]], [[VA]]

===His details===

'''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' Definitely
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Native American]], White / Caucasian
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Religion:''' Christian / Other ''[Note: As of the time of this writing (20 June 2014), Match.com allows its users to list as their religion four options pertaining to Christianity: "Christian / Catholic", "Christian / LDS", "Christian / Protestant" and "Christian / Other". Why did Chris chose the last option when "Christian / Protestant" is more fitting of him is not known.]''
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Social Drinker]]

===In his own words===

"I am an all-around, emotionally mature, good natured, high-functioning autistic, heterosexual tomgirl artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of freak or something. I am a good listener, and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu, and the city of Cwcville, VA. I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant heartaches.

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding, patient, and financially stable (I get along fair and surviving)..

ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY; I have had bad online experiences numerously from a lot of fake people. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be."

'''Sign:''' Pisces

'''Political views:''' Middle of the Road

'''College:''' Piedmont Virginia Community College, Charlottesville, VA

'''For fun:''' "Creating artwork, reflecting/thinking, video games, care taking my mom and our two beagle pups."

'''Pets:''' I have Cats, Dogs

'''Favorite hot spots:''' "I can be found either pondering over tea or coffee at McDonalds, or Burger King, in Ruckersville, or walking once around the nearby Wal-Mart."

'''Favorite things:''' "Sonichu and Rosechu, Mary Poppins (movie), color: blue, most music (jazz, POP and easy listening are cool); I like Britney Spears and Katy Perry (top two favorite artists)."

===More about him===

====Him====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Eyes:''' Blue
 '''Hair:''' Light brown

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' Social Drinker
 '''Occupation:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Income:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' Native American, White / Caucasian
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Part Cherokee, British, French and English."
 '''Faith:''' Christian / Other
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Methodist at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
 '''Languages:''' English, Spanish
 '''Education:''' Bachelors degree

====What he is looking for====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 4'10" (147cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
 '''Body type:''' Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, Full-figured
 '''Eyes:''' No preference
 '''Hair:''' No preference

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' No preference
 '''Occupation:''' No preference
 '''Income:''' $50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely, Someday

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Niggos|No preference]]
 '''Faith:''' No preference
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Education:''' No preference

==See also==
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Dating profiles]]

==External links==
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&Handle=SonichuCWC&uid=p6pWeNyd69Zt4vDF/badgQ== Chris's page (404'd as of Jun 2014)]
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx/?handle=cwcvilleguardian&tp=prtbk Chris's new page]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]