CWCki - User contributions [en]

Weens

2020-09-08T15:39:56Z

Uncultured82:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Incomplete}}
{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}

{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}

Rounding out ''The [[Unholy Tetrad]]'' of [[white knights]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]] and [[enablers]], '''weens''' are those who put effort into trying to troll but only mildly annoy Chris at most. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.

Think we're exaggerating? Maybe a video or three will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}
{{#ev:youtube|xpxk5cYRjWQ}}</center>

==Examples of weening==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]

* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]" or "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!" into the phone.
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but Chris' local Papa John's among other places have already blacklisted his address from delivery to prevent this.
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.
* Enabling Chris' fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap.
* Making fake [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Facebook Facebook] and [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter Twitter] profiles of people Chris follows.
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures to try and get a rise out of him, such as of [[pickles]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''Sonichu: The Animated Series'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/YouTube YouTube.]
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.]
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to “get a job” has become ween lingo.
* Worst of all, breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]]. This includes (but is certainly not limited to) vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking him, his mother and by extension the rest of his family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, '''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''

==Arguments against weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]

Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, or making and sending him parody comics is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. <del>While you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.

Why, you ask?

===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===

Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of crappy comics, to a mentally disturbed hippie that’s formed a small cult around said comics.

It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.

The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.

Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get [[Laughs Under Lucricities]], the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
Most of the greatest trolls didn't even mean to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] never intended to create the [[Julie]] character; he just rolled with it when Chris assumed he was a girl because of his voice. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later an alter-ego that spread from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as just a YouTube nobody who was surprisingly good at Chris impressions, and was eventually noticed by the man himself out of the blue. [[Emily]]/[[Kim]] had already seen Chris around, and she only pretended to be other people after finding out about his face blindness. [[Alec Benson Leary]] just made [[Asperchu|a parody comic]] with no intention to personally offend Chris. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow, and had no idea of the clusterfuck he was about to create. [[Vivian Gee]] started out actually defending Chris and counter-trolling those who tried to do him harm, and only eventually became a troll herself out of spite after Chris never listened to ([[Death_threats#Vivian_Gee|and eventually began threatening her]] as a result of) her numerous failed attempts to warn him of incoming trolling schemes, as well as due to the [[Audiobooks]]; which again, were not made to go out of their way to personally attack him. And [[Ivy]] merely asked Chris for a video shout-out to impress a friend, and didn't even think twice that Chris would [[Holding Out for a Hero|latch onto her as hard as he ended up doing]].

Ask any of Chris's seasoned trolls, and they'll tell you meticulous trolling plans ''really'' don't work with Chris, because it's not always so easy to predict how he'll react to anything. On one hand, he completely shrugged off [[Blanca Weiss|"Blanca"]] stealing and destroying the original medallions, even though the trolls behind Blanca had predicted he'd rage like nothing before. Conversely, he has also [[Chris and anger|completely]] [[Death threats|overreacted]] to what could be considered [[Pickle|quite]] [[Homos|minor]] [[Asperchu|triggers]] in comparison. At most, people who troll Chris successfully just go in with a rough outline and let Chris fill in the details as they go. So quit the elaborate planning, because it doesn't work and only makes you look obsessed; coincidentally, this is exactly what turned the trolls' attention to A-Log himself.

===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].

This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.

Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref>

As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.

===Your idea is probably not original===
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|A try hard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success.]]
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame, or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Bob walk in on Chris masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.

It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death, Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].

===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet -- and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a cache of disturbing cartoon pornography, a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after [[Bob Walks In|being caught masturbating in the studio]], and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time -- before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.

Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands -- mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks -- and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name -- including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed him, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].

By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and ''Tiger Beat'' magazines with [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|boy bands]] mugging on the front.

Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed'''; and as covered in more detail below, the attention you'll end up recieving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.

===Even if you do succeed, you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making [[Sonichu the Animated Series]] when he realized Chris wasn't trolling. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an emotionally vulnerable autistic man for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who willingly listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] mass debate for hours on end and forced him to shove a broken [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC|clay]] medallion up his ass, all at the age of 13. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself, sending false alarms to authorities such as the FBI, and extorting large sums of money from him, all for a sick joke.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] would like being constantly reminded by various weens of being harassed and almost becoming the victim of vehicular homicide in misguided attempts to congratulate him? In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.

===Chris is still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest we think the drought in content between 2011 and 2014 was because of a shortage of active trolls, consider that we would have had a ''windfall'' in content of unprecedented magnitude had Chris still been making frequent videos. A lot happened in that time, although you wouldn't know it from his near-invisible updates; Chris had another [[Catherine|girlfriend]] whom he eventually discovered was fake, was led to believe his [[gal-pals]] never liked him, [[Destruction of Chris's House|caused a house fire]] after brewing coffee in his bathroom at 2 in the morning, squabbled with [[eBay]] and got repeatedly banned over trying to break the site’s rules multiple times, launched a [[Sonic Boom Protests|dogged, one-man crusade against a simple design change]], and [[26 December 2014|got himself arrested again]] as a result of it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg; if Chris had been as enthusiastic for 24/7 content creation as he has been both before and since then, we'd have been utterly spoiled. While he eventually began making videos again in [[November 2015]], the staggering amount of missed opportunities still remains.

Honestly, most of the [[Saga|bullshit]] in his life has been [[Chris and anger|his]] [[Chris and his Ego|own]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|fault]]; even in the "golden age" of trolling, many Christorians' most fondly-remembered incidents had little or no active involvement from the trolls. Chris unexpectedly spilled the beans about his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] during an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] about [[Homos|a mostly-unrelated subject]]. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] came out of the seemingly innocuous act of him putting up [[House tour|footage of the inside of his house]] on YouTube. The events of 28 October 2011 would likely have taken much longer to come to light if not for Chris himself posting pictures of Michael Snyder and various other details to this very wiki within hours of him getting home from jail. Chris's macing of a GameStop employee on 26 December 2014 was provoked by a minor change to a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|cartoon hedgehog]]'s design that was done by professional video game designers unfettered by the vitriol they'd receive from obsessive fans like Chris; and as with the incident in 2011, several details of his misadventures at GameStop would've taken a lot longer to come to light, had he not posted his own mind-blowingly self-serving account of the incident on Facebook within days of being released on bail. And one can only imagine what on Earth possessed him to not only draw [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], but to post it online multiple times and [[CWC's Second Message|passionately proclaim]] that it depicted Megan, one of the few real friends he's ever had.

==Carpetbaggers==

Alongside weens, who consistently fail to use Chris’ infamy to boost their internet prescence, there are those who manage to succeed and are much less laughing stocks than their failed counterparts. Such successes are referred to as '''carpetbaggers'''. Despite being under this page, carpetbaggers are not weens by definition, but they are related in how they try to use and exploit Chris for their own personal gain. The main difference is that carpetbaggers tend to run semi-successful channels and comics purely off of Chris’ infamy alone.

Carpetbagging isn’t always for completely selfish motives in mind. Some people who latch onto Chris for this purpose may also be doing it to protect him from everyone else.

==Conclusion==

To sum it all up, an old saying among long-time Christorians applies here more than anywhere; "''[[Trolls#Chris_the_troll|Nobody trolls Chris better than Chris]]''". In other words; even without the active trolling, Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster that not even the triumphant return of Clyde Cash and The Miscreants could top how much he perpetually trolls ''himself'' with everything he currently gets up to (even simply on his own initiative) to this very day. So, with no direct provoking or intervention needed aside from casually observing and documenting each event as it comes; just sit back, relax, and [[Main Page|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Enablers]]
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Unholy}}

[[Category:Trolling]]

Weens

2020-09-08T15:35:27Z

Uncultured82: Added example of Spazkid to "you might regret it later" section

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Incomplete}}
{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}

{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}

Rounding out ''The [[Unholy Tetrad]]'' of [[white knights]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]] and [[enablers]], '''weens''' are those who put effort into trying to troll but only mildly annoy Chris at most. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.

Think we're exaggerating? Maybe a video or three will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}
{{#ev:youtube|xpxk5cYRjWQ}}</center>

==Examples of weening==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]

* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]" or "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!" into the phone.
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but Chris' local Papa John's among other places have already blacklisted his address from delivery to prevent this.
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.
* Enabling Chris' fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap.
* Making fake [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Facebook Facebook] and [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter Twitter] profiles of people Chris follows.
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures to try and get a rise out of him, such as of [[pickles]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''Sonichu: The Animated Series'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/YouTube YouTube.]
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.]
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to “get a job” has become ween lingo.
* Worst of all, breaking the [[law]] in pursuit of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]]. This includes (but is certainly not limited to) vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking him, his mother and by extension the rest of his family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, '''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''

==Arguments against weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]

Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, or making and sending him parody comics is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. <del>While you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.

Why, you ask?

===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===

Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of crappy comics, to a mentally disturbed hippie that’s formed a small cult around said comics.

It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.

The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.

Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get [[Laughs Under Lucricities]], the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
Most of the greatest trolls didn't even mean to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] never intended to create the [[Julie]] character; he just rolled with it when Chris assumed he was a girl because of his voice. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later an alter-ego that spread from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as just a YouTube nobody who was surprisingly good at Chris impressions, and was eventually noticed by the man himself out of the blue. [[Emily]]/[[Kim]] had already seen Chris around, and she only pretended to be other people after finding out about his face blindness. [[Alec Benson Leary]] just made [[Asperchu|a parody comic]] with no intention to personally offend Chris. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow, and had no idea of the clusterfuck he was about to create. [[Vivian Gee]] started out actually defending Chris and counter-trolling those who tried to do him harm, and only eventually became a troll herself out of spite after Chris never listened to ([[Death_threats#Vivian_Gee|and eventually began threatening her]] as a result of) her numerous failed attempts to warn him of incoming trolling schemes, as well as due to the [[Audiobooks]]; which again, were not made to go out of their way to personally attack him. And [[Ivy]] merely asked Chris for a video shout-out to impress a friend, and didn't even think twice that Chris would [[Holding Out for a Hero|latch onto her as hard as he ended up doing]].

Ask any of Chris's seasoned trolls, and they'll tell you meticulous trolling plans ''really'' don't work with Chris, because it's not always so easy to predict how he'll react to anything. On one hand, he completely shrugged off [[Blanca Weiss|"Blanca"]] stealing and destroying the original medallions, even though the trolls behind Blanca had predicted he'd rage like nothing before. Conversely, he has also [[Chris and anger|completely]] [[Death threats|overreacted]] to what could be considered [[Pickle|quite]] [[Homos|minor]] [[Asperchu|triggers]] in comparison. At most, people who troll Chris successfully just go in with a rough outline and let Chris fill in the details as they go. So quit the elaborate planning, because it doesn't work and only makes you look obsessed; coincidentally, this is exactly what turned the trolls' attention to A-Log himself.

===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].

This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.

Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref>

As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.

===Your idea is probably not original===
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|A try hard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success.]]
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame, or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Bob walk in on Chris masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.

It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death, Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].

===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet -- and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a cache of disturbing cartoon pornography, a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after [[Bob Walks In|being caught masturbating in the studio]], and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time -- before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.

Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands -- mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks -- and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name -- including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed him, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].

By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and ''Tiger Beat'' magazines with [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|boy bands]] mugging on the front.

Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed'''; and as covered in more detail below, the attention you'll end up recieving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.

===Even if you do succeed, you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making Sonichu: The Animated Series when he realized Chris wasn't trolling. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an emotionally vulnerable autistic man for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who willingly listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] mass debate for hours on end and forced him to shove a broken [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC|clay]] medallion up his ass, all at the age of 13. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself, sending false alarms to authorities such as the FBI, and extorting large sums of money from him, all for a sick joke.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] would like being constantly reminded by various weens of being harassed and almost becoming the victim of vehicular homicide in misguided attempts to congratulate him? In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.

===Chris is still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest we think the drought in content between 2011 and 2014 was because of a shortage of active trolls, consider that we would have had a ''windfall'' in content of unprecedented magnitude had Chris still been making frequent videos. A lot happened in that time, although you wouldn't know it from his near-invisible updates; Chris had another [[Catherine|girlfriend]] whom he eventually discovered was fake, was led to believe his [[gal-pals]] never liked him, [[Destruction of Chris's House|caused a house fire]] after brewing coffee in his bathroom at 2 in the morning, squabbled with [[eBay]] and got repeatedly banned over trying to break the site’s rules multiple times, launched a [[Sonic Boom Protests|dogged, one-man crusade against a simple design change]], and [[26 December 2014|got himself arrested again]] as a result of it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg; if Chris had been as enthusiastic for 24/7 content creation as he has been both before and since then, we'd have been utterly spoiled. While he eventually began making videos again in [[November 2015]], the staggering amount of missed opportunities still remains.

Honestly, most of the [[Saga|bullshit]] in his life has been [[Chris and anger|his]] [[Chris and his Ego|own]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|fault]]; even in the "golden age" of trolling, many Christorians' most fondly-remembered incidents had little or no active involvement from the trolls. Chris unexpectedly spilled the beans about his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] during an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] about [[Homos|a mostly-unrelated subject]]. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] came out of the seemingly innocuous act of him putting up [[House tour|footage of the inside of his house]] on YouTube. The events of 28 October 2011 would likely have taken much longer to come to light if not for Chris himself posting pictures of Michael Snyder and various other details to this very wiki within hours of him getting home from jail. Chris's macing of a GameStop employee on 26 December 2014 was provoked by a minor change to a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|cartoon hedgehog]]'s design that was done by professional video game designers unfettered by the vitriol they'd receive from obsessive fans like Chris; and as with the incident in 2011, several details of his misadventures at GameStop would've taken a lot longer to come to light, had he not posted his own mind-blowingly self-serving account of the incident on Facebook within days of being released on bail. And one can only imagine what on Earth possessed him to not only draw [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], but to post it online multiple times and [[CWC's Second Message|passionately proclaim]] that it depicted Megan, one of the few real friends he's ever had.

==Carpetbaggers==

Alongside weens, who consistently fail to use Chris’ infamy to boost their internet prescence, there are those who manage to succeed and are much less laughing stocks than their failed counterparts. Such successes are referred to as '''carpetbaggers'''. Despite being under this page, carpetbaggers are not weens by definition, but they are related in how they try to use and exploit Chris for their own personal gain. The main difference is that carpetbaggers tend to run semi-successful channels and comics purely off of Chris’ infamy alone.

Carpetbagging isn’t always for completely selfish motives in mind. Some people who latch onto Chris for this purpose may also be doing it to protect him from everyone else.

==Conclusion==

To sum it all up, an old saying among long-time Christorians applies here more than anywhere; "''[[Trolls#Chris_the_troll|Nobody trolls Chris better than Chris]]''". In other words; even without the active trolling, Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster that not even the triumphant return of Clyde Cash and The Miscreants could top how much he perpetually trolls ''himself'' with everything he currently gets up to (even simply on his own initiative) to this very day. So, with no direct provoking or intervention needed aside from casually observing and documenting each event as it comes; just sit back, relax, and [[Main Page|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Enablers]]
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Unholy}}

[[Category:Trolling]]

Sonichu (comic)

2020-09-08T15:26:23Z

Uncultured82: Just added the info about Blake's name change

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Protip|Stop messaging Chris about his comics. Everyone else gets the point that Chris hasn’t made anything in ages, and spamming "Where's the comics, Chris" messages to him won't make production any quicker.

 We also advise you don't make your own comics for Chris to implement. It makes you look just as retarded as he does when he does it alone.}}
[[Image:SonichuLogo.png|center|Man's ultimate Rorschach test.]]
[[File:Sonichu Graphic Novel Set From Zero To Awakening1.jpg|thumb|''Sonichu'', issues 0 to 7]]
{{quote|[[Chris and art|My art]] speaks for me.|[[Chris]]<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>}}

'''''Sonichu''''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s official life work, magnum opus, and largest contribution to society and culture. To most, however, it is a poorly-[[Art|drawn]] and [[Chris and writing|written]] comic book series about the adventures and travels that befall "[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|him]]" and his (imaginary) friends. Despite starting out as a comic about the titular character, it quickly turned into a wish-fulfillment outlet for Chris and his depraved fantasies, with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] being a main character in name only, playing second fiddle to Chris's primary [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] self-insert. Other characters include [[Rosechu]] and Chris's many other self-inserts.

==Introduction==
[[Image:SonicVsSonichu.jpg|thumb|180px|[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics)|THE WORLD'S MOST WAY PAST COOL COMIC!]]]]

The inadvertent shattering of his heart from [[Sarah Hammer]], along with the expulsion from English class and the confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], provided the impetus for Christian to kick-start the comic series in full force. It initially served as a complement to his [[Love Quest]] as a feeble attempt to link an accomplishment, or boost his own self-worth to unsuspecting prey; after all, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] ''is'' "Zappin' to the Extreme!" He is Christian Weston Chandler's ''only'' son, and the first ''way past cooler'' [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]!

The comics series was originally hosted on the various incarnations of Christian's [[Sonichu site|homepage]] (as seen in the [[CWCipedia]] archive). In 2013 he began to upload the comics as albums on his [[Facebook]] page, and he affirmed in 2015, when he picked up the comic again, that this would be the place to find new pages. In [[September 2015]] he finally began to sell printed and autographed issues on [[Etsy]] and Lulu.com. The comic was originally promoted from now-defunct ''Sonichu'' business cards, and he has since graduated to flyers. Each new addition to the series proudly sports a "To be continued..." disclaimer page. In fact, the comics are not updated with any regular frequency: in the fifteen years since the character's creation, Chris has yet to complete twelve issues, even though he has zero responsibilities and unlimited free time.

==Reader's Guide to ''Sonichu''==

===How-to and Overview===
[[File:Sonichu - Jargon Page.jpg|thumb|180px|The ever infamous JARGON page.]]
[[Image:ComicTBCont.jpg|thumb|180px|TO BE CONTINUED (c.) 2001-????]]

The ''Sonichu'' series began with issue #0 instead of #1, and each issue contained multiple separately-numbered "episodes", so [[trolls|readers]] often lost track of which story happened in which issue. For example, [[Black Sonichu]] (now known as Blake) was introduced in Episode #4, which was the fifth story in the overall series and the first story in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], which was in turn the second comic. Further confounding matters were the [[Sub-Episodes]] about Christian's [[Love Quest]], which appeared in issues #0-4, and were numbered separately from the main stories.

Issues #0 and #1 featured [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as the unchallenged star of the series, with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] as a supporting character also appearing in the backup strips. By issue #2, the comic had abruptly transitioned to Christian encountering people from his real life in shitty [[anime]] battles. Token attempts to tell Sonichu stories and introduce Sonichu spin-off characters were made in #3, but all pretense was dropped in #4-#7 as the series becomes a vehicle for Christian, as the leader of a heroic [[Chaotic Combo|band of recolors]], to battle against [[Mary Lee Walsh|a college dean]], a group of ineffectual [[Jerkop|security guards]], [[manajerks|store managers]], and later on, [[trolls|Internet trolls]] and [[Alec Benson Leary|other people who made fun of the comic]]. Originally it was mostly innocent and harmless, being the by-product of a simple man with a childish imagination, until it became an outlet to call out trolls, explore his depraved [[Sonichu 8|sexual desires]] and live out his [[Sonichu 10|violent revenge fantasies]].

The comic series was presented as if it were a cartoon or [[anime]] (which might explain why the comics mimic visual effects that work in an audiovisual context but fail on paper), and was encapsulated into ''seasons'' with various episodes (or "series", for our European friends). [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] was intended to wrap up the "first season" of ''Sonichu''. This opened a can of worms as to the current vision of the comics: was ''Sonichu'' intended to be the hit action/adventure soap-opera TV show that is broadcast in [[CWCville]], or was it the historical documentation of Christian's and Sonichu's life and times? Perhaps it was destined to be the Gospel from the Stay-at-Home Autistic Virgin Male, [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood.3F|''hallowed be His name'']]. Either way, it remained unanswered whether Christian continues on with the series because he has a vain, misguided belief that some TRUE and HONEST soul would consider these as "storyboards" for proper licensing and production.

===Art imitating life===
Sensing some criticism for the self-centeredness of his work, Christian wrote himself out of the series toward the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], trapping the Christian character in the [[Time Void]] so that the storyline could focus on other characters. Despite this, Sonichu still served as a strong Mary Sue character, as seen in Sonichu fighting [[4-cent garbage.com]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], as well as the clear Sue tendencies of [[Reginald Sneasel]].

He returned from the Time Void at the end of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], giving all non-Chris characters approximately one issue to have the spotlight to themselves, during which they mostly talked about how much they loved Chris and hoped he would return safely. On the final page of the issue, Chris claimed that he would write himself out of the series permanently, giving his characters the opportunity to shine on their own. He went back on this promise almost the moment he made it — issue #10 is one of the most Christian-centric of the entire series.

Following the theft of his [[Medallions of Fail]] by [[Blanca]], Christian immediately released a new comic adapting the theft into his canon and explaining that the TRUE source of his power lay in his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Since this story was necessarily set after Christian escapes the Time Void, it was deemed a special preview of ''Sonichu'' #10, despite the fact that Chris had at that point not finished ''Sonichu'' #8 nor begun ''Sonichu'' #9.

Chris started ''Sonichu'' #11 in [[December 2009]] and completed ''Sonichu'' #10 in [[February 2010]]. He produced a revised ending to issue #10 in [[October 2010]].<ref>[[Book10Replacement]]</ref> After a long inspirationless lull, he began churning out new pages of Sonichu #11 in [[September 2015]].

Chris has claimed that in total, he plans to complete 50 to 100 issues in his lifetime.<ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]</ref>

==Currently==
{{Quote|I have not ended Sonichu; I only lost inspiration to draw, thanks to [[Trolls|the people online]].|Chris<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref>}}

On 27 [[May 2010]], Chris announced that he was abandoning the [[CWCipedia]] to the trolls. On 30 [[October 2010]], Chris claimed that the trolls drained his creativity and scared him away from drawing any more ''Sonichu''.<ref>[[DrainedCreativity]]</ref>

On 27 February [[2013]], Chris wrote in a [[Facebook]] post that he might continue, but probably won't.
{{Quote|When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.}}

On 10 [[January 2014]], Chris's house [[Destruction Of Chris's House|was gutted by a fire]]. Later in [[November 2015]], Chris showcased the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] in a [[Reaching Out to Game Developers.|video]], confirming that the master copies of the ''Sonichu'' comics and his original artwork survived the blaze. They also continue to survive in digital form all across the Internet, and on the CWCki itself.

In a Facebook post on April 2015, Chris stated that if Sonichu was released as downloadable content for the fourth iteration of the ''Super Smash Bros.'' video game, he would ''consider'' resuming the ''Sonichu'' comics. Needless to say, the probability of either of these possibilities were slim to none.

A [[August 2015 Facebook Posts#New Comics?|Facebook post]] in August 2015, while Chris was enthusiastically selling his [[Sonichu Amiibo|<s>knockoff</s> "official" Amiibo figures]], seemed to imply Chris was once again interested in returning to the comics;
{{Quote|I am setting up an opportunity for me to get back to drawing the pages, and getting Paid too[...]}}

On 4 [[September 2015]], Chris confirmed the rumors as true and finally added new content to ''Sonichu'' for the first time in 5 years. 11 new pages were added to [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] that day, with more pages added to the album "maybe every other week"; however, he cannot make any promises due to "unforeseeable variables and circumstances".

In [[June 2017]], Chris began making regular updates to the comic again, completing ''Sonichu'' #11 that month and ''Sonichu'' #12 in October. Chris announced that ''Sonichu'' #13 would be an [[Chris and copyright|unofficial]] crossover with [[Planet Dolan]]; however, after falling out with [[DoopieDoOver]], Chris scrapped the original concept and announced [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]], based around [[My Little Pony]] and featuring a [[Night Star|new self-insert of his]].

However, partway through #12-9, Chris's work on the comic and update schedule broke down. Chris began working on what was originally named [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #14]], which was to return to the normal ''Sonichu'' setting; however, he soon spilled paint on the first few unfinished pages and [[Financhu Crisis|sold them]] on [[eBay]] for a quick buck, presumably scrapping his work once again (and illustrating a weakness of his "hand-drawing" technique).

However, Chris apparently still intended to complete #14, as he next announced [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]]. The comic was intended as a remake/[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|reboot]] of the early issues, but was soon derailed under the influence of the fancomic "Rosechu's Story", and Chris, under the [[Idea Guy]]'s influence, hesitantly decided to retcon Rosechu to be [[Tomgirl|transgender]].

Before Chris could publicly reveal what was originally [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #16]], several pages were leaked in January 2018 by [[Kiwi Farms]] users in contact with the Idea Guys. The unfinished pages revealed that the comic's story had largely been penned by the Idea Guys themselves and brought together many of the [[Idea Guys#Ideas|concepts and plotlines]] they had been feeding Chris for the past few months. After months without updates, Chris revealed in May 2018 that he had continued to work on #16, but that he was now hesitant to release the nearly-finished comic now that he realized the Idea Guys – or ''an'' idea guy – had such an influence on it.

On 26 June 2019, Chris uploaded eight new pages for a new issue of ''Sonichu'' designed to be a sequel to ''Sonichu'' #16. Two days later, in a Patreon post, he would renumber issues #14, #15, and #16. ''Sonichu'' #14 would be moved to #16, ''Sonichu'' #16 would be renamed ''The Awakening of a CPU aka The Idea Guy Corruptions,'' and the new issue would be numbered issue #14. <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/June_2019_social_media_posts#Patreon_Post:_Back_on_drawing_track</ref> Later, on 29 August 2019, Chris, while believing he had [[spirit possession|body swapped]] with Magi-Chan, posted that, among other things, ''The Awakening of a CPU aka The Idea Guy Corruptions'' was renamed to ''Sonichu #13.''<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2019_social_media_posts#The_Idea_Guys.27_nonsense_was_meant_to_be</ref>

==The ''Sonichu'' canon==

===Official releases===

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Episode
! style="background:silver;" width=20% | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot Summary
|-
| rowspan="5"|[[File:Sonichu - Issue 0, Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 0|'''''Sonichu'' #0''']] ''Begun'' 3 Jan [[2004]] ''Complete'' 24 Mar [[2005]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #1
| "Sonichu's Orgin"
| Sonichu and Rosechu are created by the Chaotic Rainbow. Kel adopts Rosechu. ''First appearance of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Kel]], and [[Rosechu]]. Only appearance of [[Perfect Chaos]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #2
| Sonichu in "Genesis of the Lovehogs"
| Sonichu, [[obesity|hungry]] and lonesome, follows Rosechu home to Kel. They fall in love.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #3
| "Sonichu vs. Naitcirhc" [''sic'']
| Sonichu and Rosechu go shopping; Naitsirhc tries to kidnap Rosechu but Sonichu fights off his Zapdos and rescues Rosechu. Mayor Chris congratulates him. ''First appearance of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].''
|-
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"Classic Sonichu Strips"
| Random stupid stories with Sonichu. ''First appearance of [[Black Sonichu]] (Blake), [[Jerkops]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Only appearances of [[Metonic]], [[Vamprosa]], and [[Barbara Chandler]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #1
| "Christian Chandler in ''Jerkop-tastropie''"
| Chris is [[Calling Out|called out]] by a manajerk and transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu to fight him and the jerkops off.
|-
| rowspan="4"|[[File:issueone.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 1|'''''Sonichu'' #1''']] ''Begun'' 31 Mar 2005 ''Complete'' 18 Apr 2005
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #4
| "Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''"
| The origin of Blake! ''First appearance of [[Doctor Robotnik]], [[Giovanni]], and [[Bill the Scientist]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #5
| "Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''"
| Blake kidnaps Rosechu. Sonic and Sonichu run into each other and then team up.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #6
| "Sonic & Sonichu ''Black Metal Combat''"
| Sonic and Sonichu fight Robotnik's latest creation. ''Only appearance of [[Metal Sonichu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #2
| "Christian Chandler in ''The Rise & Fall of My Heart''"
| The comic version of Chris's encounter with Hanna. ''Only appearance of [[Hanna]].''
|-
| rowspan="4"|[[File:Sonichu - Issue 2, Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 2|'''''Sonichu'' #2''']] ''Begun'' 24 Apr 2005 ''Complete'' 3 May 2005
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #7
| "Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''"
| Chris takes over the story as his Sonichu medallion unleashes the power of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. ''First appearance of [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Wes Iseli]], and the [[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]].'' ''Only appearance of the Keeper of the Destiny Cave.''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #8
| "Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''"
| The three empowered hedgehogs meet and fight. ''First appearance of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Saramah Rosechu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #9
| "Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''"
| Saramah breaks up with Wes-Li as Slaweel the Witch makes her first big attack on CWCville! ''First appearance of [[Count Graduon]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #3
| "Christian Chandler & Sonichu in ''Witch Confront''"
| Chris and Sonichu confront Slaweel!
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Sonichu - Issue 3, Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 3|'''''Sonichu'' #3''']] ''Begun'' 20 Jun 2005 ''Complete'' 21 Feb [[2006]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #10
| "Sonichu Babies"
| The origins of the Chaotic Combo! ''First appearances of [[Wild Sonichu]], [[Bubbles Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Angelica Rosechu]], [[Punchy Sonichu]], [[Sonee and Rosey]], [[Nabe-Shin]]. Only appearance of [[Mypoe]], and the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #11
| "The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''"
| Blake steals the Master Sunstone and the Chaotic Combo unite! ''First appearance of [[Flame the Sunbird]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #4
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack''"
| Chris is attacked in the M-C-D-ville by two Manajerks! ''First appearance of [[B-Manajerk]], [[Merried Seinor Comic]], [[W-M Manajerk]], and [[Darkbind Sonichu]].'' ''Only appearance of Super Chris-chan Sonichu.''
|-
| rowspan="8"|[[File:Issue4.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 4|'''''Sonichu'' #4''']] ''Begun'' 24 Mar 2005 ''Complete'' <abbr title="Precise date unknown: sometime before 2 Nov 2005.">2 Sep 2005?<abbr>
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #1
| "Christian Chandler in ''Jerkop-tastropie''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #0.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #2
| "Christian Chandler in ''The Rise & Fall of My Heart''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #1.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #3
| "Christian Chandler & Sonichu in ''Witch Confront''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #2.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #4
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #3.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #5
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack Part 2''"
| Crystal appears to save the day as the W-M Manajerk attacks! ''First appearance of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]] and [[W-M Manajerk]]. Last appearance of the [[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #6
| "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"
| Chris gives us an inside look at the Jerkops. ''First appearance of [[ScotPalazzo]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #7
| "Christian Chandler in ''Off-Target''"
| Bagget arrives to attack Chris! ''First appearance of [[Bagget]] and [[Crackder]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #8
| "Christian Chandler in ''Off-Target Part 2''"
| Chris is taken captive, but is rescued by Crystal!
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:Sonichu - Issue 5, Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 5|'''''Sonichu'' #5''']] ''Begun'' 29 Apr 2006 ''Complete'' 20 Jun 2006
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #12
| "Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''"
| Chris attends Sarah Hammer's wedding, which is spoiled by Wes-Li Sonichu. Chris, with the aid of [[Megan Schroeder]], saves the day. ''First appearance of [[Megagi La Skunk]].'' ''Only appearances of [[William Spicer]] and [[Sailor Megtune]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #13
| "Shattered Hearts & Entrapment"
| Slaweel initiates an attack on CWCville, leading to Crystal getting trapped in the mirror! ''First appearance of [[DJ Jamsta]].''
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:Sonichu - Issue 6, Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 6|'''''Sonichu'' #6''']] ''Begun'' 4 Jul 2006 ''Complete'' 21 Feb [[2007]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #12.5
| "One Lucky Dog"
| Chris's dog, Patti, is transported to CWCville and becomes an anthropomorphic dog with magic powers. ''First appearances of [[Patti-Chan]] and [[Allison Amber]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #14
| "Evil is Afoot!"
| Chris and the Chaotic Combo begin their quest for the Sonichu Balls as Reldnahc makes his appearance. ''First appearance of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].''
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Sonichu Issue 7.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 7|'''''Sonichu'' #7''']] ''Begun'' 5 Mar 2007 ''Complete'' 20 Aug [[2008]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #15
| "Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''"
| Chris learns the location of one of the [[Sonichu Balls]] and goes to get it. ''Only appearance of [[Sammy]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #16
| "C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''"
| Chris and Sonichu retrieve a Sonichu Ball, only for Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]].
|-
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!"
| DJ Jamsta interviews Blanca and Jiggliami. ''First appearance of [[Jiggliami]] and [[Blanca]].'' ''Only appearance of [[Robert Simmons V]].''
|-
|rowspan="2"|[[File:Sonichu8.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 8|'''''Sonichu'' #8''']] ''Begun'' 20 Aug 2008 ''Complete'' 1 [[January 2009|Jan 2009]] ''Revised'' 10 [[July 2019|Jul 2019]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #17
| "Rage Against the Garbage"
| After sex, Sonichu and Rosechu learn about [[4-cent garbage.com]] and go to confront Jason Kendrick Howell over his work. They get a Sonichu Ball for their trouble. ''First appearance of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[The Incredible Lioness]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #18
| "Spring Break, 2008"
| Silvana makes her move as Jiggliami warns the others of her plans and they get another Sonichu Ball. ''First appearance of [[Zapina]], [[Simonla Rosechu]], and [[Silvana]].'' ''Last appearance of [[Jiggliami]] and Blanca.'' ''Only appearance of [[Yawning Squirtle]].''
|-
|rowspan="2"| [[File:SchuComic9.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 9|'''''Sonichu'' #9''']] ''Begun'' 1 Dec 2008 ''Complete'' 7 [[December 2009|Dec 2009]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #19
| "Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)"
| THRILL to the wonder that is Chris's Dating Education classes! ''First appearances of [[Reginald Sneasel]], [[Layla]], and Rita Jackaras.'' ''Only appearance of Ms. Jackaras.''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #20
| "CWC-Defense"
| The PVCC mounts a massive attack on CWCVille! Chris is later pulled out of the Time Void. ''First appearance of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] and the [[Power Rangers]].'' ''Only appearance of [[BILLY MAYS]].''
|-
| [[File:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 10|'''''Sonichu'' #10''']] ''Begun'' 15 Sep 2008 ''Complete'' 25 [[February 2010|Feb 2010]] ''Revised [[2010]] and [[2015]].
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #21
| "Christian Chandler in ''Director Amenities''"
| [[Ego|Chris rains holy hell on all his enemies!]] ''First appearance of [[Clyde Cash]], [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Lovely Weather]], [[Asperchu]], [[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)]], Metal Asperchu, the [[Asperpedia Four]], and [[Sandy Rosechu]].'' ''Deaths of Reldnahc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Asperchu, Clyde Cash, Jack Thaddeus, Chaotic Combo (Asperchu), Metal Asperchu, the Asperpedia Four, Slaweel the Witch, homosexuality, asexuality, and Simonla.''
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Issue 11 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 11|'''''Sonichu'' #11''']] ''Begun'' 13 [[August 2009|Aug 2009]] ''Complete'' 30 [[June 2017|Jun 2017]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"A Sonichu Christmas"
| [[Christmas]] is coming, and Sonichu, Rosechu, and their children faff about the place doing nothing of importance. Cera befriends [[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]], a ''[[Peanuts]]''-type character. Robbie and Sonichu help a homeless woman. [[Simonla Rosechu]] miraculously recovers from her execution. ''This is apparently Episode 22, but it is not numbered as such.''
''First appearance of [[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]], [[Stephanie]].'' ''Resurrection of [[Simonla Rosechu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #23
| "Simonchu & Bananafunkle"
| Simonchu finds a new Pokémon and Punchy adopts it, causing Layla to leave him.
''First appearance of [[Bananasauros]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #24, Part 1
| "The Clip Show: Catching Up"
| Sonic and Sonichu catch up at the mall. ''Return of [[Sonic]]. First appearance of [[Ferrah]] and [[Dogson]]''
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Sonichu - Issue 12, Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 12|'''''Sonichu'' #12''']] ''Begun'' 21 [[May 2017]] ''Complete'' 16 [[October 2017|Oct 2017]]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #25
| "To Be or Naught a Tomgirl…"
| [[Robbie Sonee]] comes to terms with xir gender identity.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #26
| "Prideful"
| The first CWCville pride festival
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #24, Part 2
| Clip Show continued
| Sonic and Sonichu catch up at the mall.
|-
| [[File:Sonichu 12-9 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 12-9|'''''Sonichu'' #12-9''']] ''Begun'' 25 [[August 2017|Aug 2017]] ''Complete'' 20 [[July 2018|Jul 2018]]
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|(''NB - Chris abandons his traditional habit of dividing his comics into episodes in this and all future issues.'')
| The origin story of [[Night Star]] and how she learned to traverse [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|dimensions]], visiting [[CWCville]] and getting to know Christine.
|-
| [[File:Sonichu - Issue 13, Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 13|'''''Sonichu'' #13''']] ''Begun'' 1 [[November 2017|Nov 2017]] ''Complete'' 3 [[August 2018|Aug 2018]]
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"| "The Awakening of a CPU, Also Known As The Idea Guy Corruptions"
| How [[John Yamada]] came to influence Chris. Really an incoherent series of plot threads involving material from existing fictional universes and real-world politics of interest to the [[Idea Guys]].
|-
| [[File:Sonichu - Issue 14, Cover (draft).jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 14|'''''Sonichu'' #14''']] ''Begun'' 26 [[June 2019|Jun 2019]] ''Not yet complete.''
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"| "The Awakening of a CPU: Book Two"
| Events leading up to the [[Dimensional Merge]].
|-
| [[File:Sonichu - Issue 15, Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 15|'''''Sonichu'' #15''']] ''Begun'' 16 [[October 2017|Oct 2017]] ''Not yet complete.''
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|
| The retelling of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], this time with [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christine]] as the lead: most of the content was [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarised]] from ''Rosechu's Story'', a fan comic.
|-
| [[File:Sonichu - Issue 16, Cover (restored).jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 16|'''''Sonichu'' #16''']] ''Begun'' 30 [[May 2017]] ''Seemingly abandoned.''
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"| "Count Graduon, The Mighty Warrior!"
|Count Graduon's origin story. Chris sold the master copy to an [[enabler]] on [[eBay]] after spilling paint on it.
|}

===Special editions===
These special issues were one-offs intended for [[gal pal|specific audiences]], but subsequently obtained by trolls and publicly released.

{|class="wikitable" style="text-align:center;"
! style="background:silver; | Image
! style="background:silver; width=20% | Issue
! style="background:silver; width=20% | Informal Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot Summary
|-
| [[File:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special #1'']]
| CWC Holding Out For a Hero
| style = "text-align:left;"| Chris rescues Ivy from the clutches of "Cly". ''First appearances of [[Ivy]] and [[Clyde Cash]].''
|-
| [[File:IvyWedding.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu Special 2|''Sonichu Special #2'']]
| Wedding Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| The fail-tastic union of Chris and Ivy. ''Only appearances of Spas the Cat, Canino Houndhowl, Lilith, Rachel, [[Ching Chong]], and the unnamed priest.''
|-
| [[File:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu Special 3|''Sonichu Special #3'']]
| Giant Penis Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| The even more fail-tastic honeymoon of Chris and Ivy. ''Last appearances of [[Ivy]] and [[Officer Keino]].''
|-
| [[File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special #4'']]
| Gun Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] "rescues" [[Kacey]] from [[CChanSonichuCWC]] (though it's unclear why Kacey needs to be rescued if she's in a consensual relationship with Liquid), shoots Liquid in the shins, and then makes out with Kacey. ''Only appearances of [[Kacey]], Kacey's mom, [[Matthew Devoria]], and [[Liquid Chris]].''
|-
|[[File:Ring Comic for The Captain (compressed from original).png|150px]]
|[[Sonichu Special 5|''Sonichu Special #5'']]
| [[Guard Dogs]] Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| Chris sends the [[Amnyfest Ring]] to [[The Captain]].
|-
|[[File:SchuBlockedbyBroniesdraftP3.jpeg|150px]]
|[[Sonichu Special 6|''Sonichu Special #6'']]
| [[Soft Exile]] Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| Magi-Chan talks to Dr. Wolf, a creator of the TF2 Analysis show, about Chris being blocked on Twitter by several high-profile creators from the MLP brony fandom, in particular members of [[TF2 Analysis]].
|-
|[[File:ChrisSlimeComicP2.jpg|150px]]
|[[Sonichu Special 7|''Sonichu Special #7'']]
| Slime Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| Chris's TRUE and HONEST rendition of [[Ben Saint|Ben Saint's]] promotional comic.
|}

===Approved fanfictions===
{{Incomplete}}
On 17 [[December 2019]], Chris uploaded a complete set of the ''Sonichu'' series, including comics 0 through 13 of the main series, but also two fan comics that he has officially endorsed, to [[Chris and business#Storefronts|CWCville Shopping]]. Not being derived from his own [[CWCisms#G|geinus]], they are a step below [[TRUE and HONEST]] ''Sonichu'' canon. Nevertheless he has sanctioned them as mostly true to his vision, and is exploiting these fruits of others' labors [[Chris and money|financially]].

{|class="wikitable" style="text-align:center;"
! style="background:silver; | Image
! style="background:silver; width=20% | Issue
! style="background:silver;" | Plot Summary
|-
| [[File:Rosechu's_Story_comic_book_cover.jpeg|150px]]
| Rosechu's Story
| style = "text-align:left;"| Designed by Tricklechu. Originally a [[Kiwi Farms]] project to redeem as much as possible from Chris's [[Chris and writing|lackluster writing]] by focusing on the side character [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]].
|-
| [[File:PrequelCover.jpeg|150px]]
| Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| Created by [[Bryanfrogboy]]. Written as a deconstruction of Chris's life, told from Chris's point of view.
|}

==Marketing==
In his [[August 2009]] [[resume|résumé]], Chris stated that his dream was to "get me paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics". He finally made this happen – sort of – in [[September 2015]], when he discovered [[Wikipedia:Lulu (company)|Lulu.com]] and put a bound copy of ''Sonichu'' #0 for sale for ten bucks. A print version of Book #1 appeared the following month. Although his Lulu account disappeared from public view after about a week, he continued to offer the books (autographed upon request) on [[Etsy]]. He made routine updates on [[Facebook]].

A recipient of the first issue provided a review:<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/9-23-15-printed-number-zero-book-now-available-through-lulu.12833/page-5#post-1014307</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|The cover is pixelated and shitty, Chris really obviously just stretched out whatever resized image he happened to have on his PC at the time, rather than rescan the original or do anything that required any effort.

The spine is completely fucked up, and spills over onto the back of the book, making it totally useless – the bottom half of text can't be viewed from the side. If by some shitty reason you ever wanted to buy multiple future issues to put on your shelf, you'd never be able to tell which one is which. I don't know if this is because he just copied/pasted a book spine he ''assumed'' would work, or if he really underestimated how big the book would be. Probably both. The result is that the cover is one of the worst things in comic history. It honestly is so poorly done and so low quality that if Chris wasn't ''saying'' it was his I would assume this was a troll attempt to make him look bad.

The back cover is significantly less pixelated, but still looks like garbage because it is, of course, drawn all in markers and pen by Chris.

The paper used is matte and looks like the lowest quality/cheapest option he could get it printed on. Someone else mentioned it looks like "draft" quality and that pictures make it better – it seriously is so ugly and the resolution so low, it looks like a test page, and I can't even capture how shitty it is on camera. I've purchased comics from Lulu before, and they weren't nearly this bad, so there must be varying levels of publishing quality (or Lulu themselves has dropped in quality significantly – it's been years) and Chris picked the worst.

So, it's exactly what you expect. Low quality and no effort by Chris other than uploading it. He didn't even check to see if things fit on the ''cover''.}}

As advertised on Etsy:

===Printed and Autographed Sonichu #0 Comic Book===
{{Main|Sonichu 0}}
{{quotebox|
$10.00

'''Overview'''

* Handmade item
* Materials: paper, ink
* Made to order
* Ships worldwide from Ruckersville, Virginia

'''Item Details'''

This is a Preorder of a Printed version of my first Sonichu Comic Book, #0. It will be in Comic Book size and paper format. The reserve price is an estimate, and it allows room for the print set of Book #1, which follows Book #0.

See the hand drawn beginnings of Sonichu and Rosechu, as well as their classic and romantic coming together and meet, the meeting and battle against [[Naitsirhc]], a few past drawn classic comic strips, and the first of a few [[sub-episodes]] featuring the artist/author, years before finding herself, feeling lost and searching for true love from friendship, intended, but finds constant troubles from the past goons of her arch nemesis, [[Count Graduon]] (with holstered help from the witch, [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]).

(Of which SEGA is still quoted for their Sonic characters, but I have my own personal copyright on Sonichu, Rosechu, and everything else therein. Also, any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of my own, that may seem similar to anyone in real life or wherever else, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic, and not cannon to their source stories and/or formats). Also, the legal page, and the corner author note on the front will be updated to respectively match my current name and other related items. The contents of this and the other completed and future books have been edited to allow the age range to be for the TV-Y7 and above.

It will take me a week or two to put together the pages into the publishing site's template size, uploading them there, and then it will take up to another four weeks for them to print and ship the books to me, so I can autograph them and send them each off to each person who will have reserved a copy. Therefore, the estimated wait time for the books' full completion will be as late as the end of October of this year.

Also, please do continue to show me your support by buying a medal, an amiibo figure, or donate towards my creation and peace of mind cause. Thank You, and have a Great and Safe Day.

<center><gallery>
File:Sonichu - Issue 0, Cover.jpg
File:Sonichu - Episode 1, Page 1.jpg
File:Sonichu - Episode 1, Page 2.jpg
File:Sonichu - Episode 1, Page 3.jpg
File:Sonichu - Episode 1, Page 4.jpg
</gallery></center>
}}

On 23 September, Chris edited the first paragraph of this description to read:

{{quotebox|
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Please note: This book is now available from its matching listing on [[Wikipedia:Lulu (company)|lulu.com]]. ONLY by ordering it through me, will I have the chance to personally autograph your copy of the book for you. Otherwise, you may go to the listing on lulu.com and order a physical copy for yourself there as well. My price here covers shipping from there to me, and then to you. Thank you.}}

In the second week of October, however, his Lulu account went down, and he had to change this again:

{{quotebox|
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Please note: This is the ONLY way to order the book; I have it printed through Lulu.com (the listing there is only viewable to me); anyhow, I stil have the liberty to personally autograph your copy of the book for you. If you do not wish it autographed, please select the Variation Option of "Not Autographed Book". The advantage of having it not autographed, being I can order it from the printer and have it shipped to your address, but it won't be in a comic book sleeve. And each copy sent from me will be shipped in a plastic Comic Book Sleeve with cardboard lining, inside a large envelope. My price here covers shipping from there to me, and then to you. Thank you.}}

===Printed and Autographed Sonichu #1 Comic Book===
{{Main|Sonichu 1}}

The description text was more or less identical to that for Sonichu #0.

{{quotebox|
$10.00

'''Item Details'''

In this book, see the genetic cloning of Sonichu, with an accidental dose of cherry cola, resulting in Blake Sonichu. Teaming up in the conclusion to the accident in Book 0, Sonichu and Sonic work together to rescue Rosechu from a Team Rocket, USA Division, crew and robotics scientists, Dr. Ren Skysoar, and his robotic creation.

<center><gallery>
File:Issueone.jpg
File:Son1p1.jpg
File:Son1p4.jpg
File:E1p11.jpg
File:Son1p27.jpg
</gallery></center>
}}

===Printed and Autographed Sonichu #2 Comic Book===
{{Main|Sonichu 2}}

===Printed and Autographed Sonichu #3 Comic Book===
{{Main|Sonichu 3}}

===Printed and Autographed Sonichu #4 Comic Book, plus rant against online dating===
{{Main|Sonichu 4}}

Chris veered into an off-topic rant on online dating in the description.

{{quotebox|
$15.00

'''Item Details'''

Contains 96 Pages; Recommended for people Ages Seven and Up.

In this SPECIAL Book, archived and retold are the past short adventures of the past Christian Weston Chandler, LONG Before coming out as a Lesbian TransWoman, during the days of his Sweetheart Search, of which were constantly thwarted by the Jerkops and Janekops, sent by the evil Count Graduon and Slaweel Ryam, in Their actions towards making True Love and Being Sweethearts ILLEGAL and LOST in the City of Cwcville, followed by the State of Virginia, Then the United States, and the world! But the Artist and Creator, and Mayor of Cwcville, refuses to stand down and give up in finding the One Woman WHO will be his One True Sweetheart, seeded from the Ground-Up with Good and Honest Face-To-Face Friendship!, along with new short chapter segments to conclude this set of sub-episodes.

Seriously, though: MEETING PEOPLE ONLINE, Communicating for WEEKS to MONTHS, even YEARS(?), Before EVER Meeting Face-to-Face IN PERSON, which is VITAL and REQUIRED for ANY True and Real Friendship AND Relationship... That is Plain NO GOOD! What happened to the days of EVERYONE Actually being Friendly towards one another in the towns and cities; even In This WORLD? WHY do we have to Fear Each Other for the FEAR and Unknown that has stemmed from Wars, Attacks, and Bad People? OMFG!!! Are we ALL so Bleeding Paranoid that we are forced into a Sense of Psuedo-Autism by remaining CONSTANTLY with our faces looking at Screens and Monitors, with LACK of REAL Eye Contact from Initial In Person, Face-to-Face MEETINGS at a Bar, Shopping Mall, College Library, or Coffee Shop?! Not Only do I, PERSONALLY, Suck at Meeting and Communicating with People ONLINE, ESPECIALLY to Establish Honest and Real and True Relationships in the Trials and Errors that are Not Only More Efficient and Better WITHOUT Hiding Behind Screens and Monitors,... *sigh* BUT I remain Constantly LONELY and Freaking SHY from Lack of Women ACTUALLY offering me their Time of Day Or Interest, Face-To-Face. But I digress.

(Of which SEGA is still quoted for their Sonic characters, and Nintendo for Pikachu). But I have my own personal copyright on Sonichu, Rosechu, and everything else therein. Also, any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of my own, that may seem similar to anyone in real life or wherever else, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic, and not cannon to their source stories and/or formats). Also, the legal page, and the corner author note on the front will be updated to respectively match my current name and other related items. The contents of this and the other completed and future books have been edited to allow the age range to be for the TV-Y7 and above.

Also, please do continue to show me your support by buying a medal, a custom figure, or donate towards my creation and peace of mind cause. Thank You, and have a Great and Safe Day.

**Please note: This is the ONLY way to order the book. }}

==Future plotlines==
Over the years Chris has dropped a few hints about specific plotlines. At one point he stated, ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> He later elaborated, ''"Count Graduon will be the Major Villain beyond ''[''Sonichu'' #10]'', possessing the [[Metal Sonichu]] that crashed on [[the moon]] back in [[Sonichu 1|Book 1]].''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> The issue may also move to [[RuleCWC]]: Chris has said that ''"[[Darkbind]] and [[Zelina]] will be fighting [[Clawdorf]] with great sword and bow/arrow battles."''<ref>[[Mailbag 52]]</ref>

There may also be a lack of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Great Director intrusion]]: ''"After [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]], I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the [[Love quest|trials and tribulations]] in my life, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|real]] and [[BlueSpike|online]], that it completely messed me up."''<ref>[[Mailbag 53]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu_Comic_Collection CWCipedia comic archive (Episode #20 updates included)]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu TV Tropes: ''Sonichu'']
* [http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html Video stating that ''Sonichu'' is too bad to be featured on Atop the Fourth Wall, which reviews bad comics.]

{{Sonichu}}
{{BusinessList}}

[[Category:Comic]]