CWCki - User contributions [en]

CWCki:News

2010-12-11T03:57:44Z

V3N0M1300: /* Laser Pointer Shit */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Community Portal}}

This page is for discussion of da latest update.

== Flipnote Hatena return ==

So... how many <s>days</s> <s>hours</s> minutes before he's banned? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 04:57, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, they've been up for almost 12 hours now. He must have flown under the mod's radar. That's going to change since we're now aware of this development. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

And will we get many more badly drawn, idiotic animations? Also what is the general opinion of what we want to happen here? Do we want to report him so he will get banned again and rage, or do we want to see where he goes with this? -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 05:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
* Already reported his water maze dream. May as well to be perfectly honest. Besides, I don't think we'll get anything new, and I would love to see him rage about Flipnote Hatena Moderators for banning him because he is BAwwwwwtistic. Jump on the Pickle train, destination, Chris. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 02:33 25, July 2010 (UTC)

Knowing how fast Chris got banned from Flipnote Hatena(what was it, a week or two before he got perma-banned?), it will probably be even shorter. I mean, does he seriously think he can get back on and no one will notice? He's a real tool if he thinks Trolls aren't going to mess with him or report him, and an idiot if he thinks that the Moderators on FH wont notice his shenanigans and kick him right off. Also, how did he get around the ban? He must be using a library computer or something, or bought a new DS just to get around it. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 01:37 25, July 2010

SakuraBlossom is posting again. Apparently she had the watery maze dream too. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 06:38, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

:Any chance of a link to her channel? This sounds interesting. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 07:32, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::*http://flipnote.hatena.com/mobile/9C6792D0F3618798@DSi/ is SakuraBlossom's profile. She gave him a butt-tonne of stars just before. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Thanks. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 15:58, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Hey guys. Delabonte here. I don't want to have to be the one to point out the obvious but you all have Autism so here goes. How about you not report Chris this time? Haven't you realised that getting him banned from one of his few outlets is completely retarded? I know you think you're achieving something, but you are achieving the wrong thing. Think about it carefully. What was funnier, when he was making these cartoons or when he vanished and did nothing?''' --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 12:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

:Thanks for the sorely-needed message (and the protip), but I fear it may be too late as some have already taken the initiative to rat him out. Even without the dumbasses prematurely ending our fun, I'm sure it's just a matter of time until Chris gets HIMSELF in trouble with the mods. In the meantime, let's see if he catches a hold of a certain cherry flower who wants to be his heartsweet. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 14:09, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:*As far as we know, he hasn't responded to Sakura aside from in email. Still, it's important he not find out, or he could discover the woman who had the watery maze dream too... That would be a disaster. Also, I do agree; quit reporting him. It's funnier if/when he gets banned because of his own actions. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:08, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Anybody who reports Chris is a moron. Also, this means he bought another DSi. And that's just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:21, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

Update: Flipnotes previously reported to be taken down are (surprise) back up again. Oh Chris. (Hopefully this time around the trolltards won't do any reporting.) --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 01:53, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

== New tweets ==

Yeah. Chris has tweeted yet again, promoting his Sonichu Modnation crap and asking for ‘5-Star Votes’. No mention of Flipnote or anything related, though.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 08:02, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Where is Chris? ==

It seems like he has been pretty inactive lately. There have been no new updates since July 26th. I wonder what he is doing. What is he up to? Any thoughts?
-Interested bystander 08/10/2010
*Chris is playing [[ModNation Racers]]. He has been for quite a while. Nothing will happen for some time. Same thing happened when he got LBP. Also, you don't have to type your name out and stuff. Just put 4 tildes (~) after your message and it will sign your post for you. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 22:35, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

This quiet spell is killing me, someone go fire a petrol bomb through his house, get some reaction.. anything! If i lived within 3 hours of him, swear to god i'd be there everyday with my camera staking him out. --[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 04:47, 12 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Heh. The thing is... doing stuff that would make anyone RAEG (or at least, respond with huge amounts of emotion and anger) isn't really what's funny. The funny thing is doing [[Miyamoto|something]] [[Liquid|really]] [[Asperchu|minor]] that wouldn't phase anyone else, or would even amuse them, then watching him explode with disproportionate tard rage. There's also this tiny, niggling doubt in the back of my mind that... unless it actually hit Chris's room, or his car, or his parents raged at him for it (therefore inconveniencing him), he honestly wouldn't care. He'd just call it 'sad' or something. Chris really only cares about himself. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:59, 12 August 2010 (PDT)

Maybe Chris is still getting into stupid shit, but we're not seeing it. Maybe he was already banned from FAF for being a creep. We can't know at this point, but the possibility that we're missing out on some heavy shit is pretty frustrating. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 02:28, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

For some reason I am really interested in the whole Chris saga. I find him to be a pretty interesting person. I wish I lived near him so I could actually see him in action or actually talk to him. I tried adding him on facebook but apparently he never checks his facebook anymore. [[User:Interested bystander|Interested bystander]] 12:54, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

I swear this whole 2 year saga is like the best thing on the internet, but even so a lot of it has been dominated by quite spells. Then he'll release a new episode and in a whirlwind of shit and comeuppance he'll find his new sweetheart (I.E. any girl who dares to even acknowledge his existence, besides his mother.). Until then we just got be patient. [[User:Open the udder|Open the udder]] 15:34, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== Not a forum crackdown ==

Given recent events, I'm starting to get pissed about people who are using CWCki as a forum. Next person to do any of the follow (list not inclusive): posting trolling plans, posting personal comments on videos (like commenting how stupid Chris is), or pretty much '''anything that is not pertaining to improvement of the article will result in temporary bans.''' If you have any questions about this, feel free to contact me. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:58, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
*champ, despite you being the most cwcki leader of all cwcki things, to be honest, you're not doing a very good job of enforcing this. you SHOULD call it a forum crackdown. you should call it Crackdown: The End of All Things: The Movie [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:29, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

== He has returned ==

Dry spell officially over? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* That has still yet to be seen, but it appears so... I would, however, expect more video's soon in the immediate future given how much Chris has obsessed over his 10 year high-school reunion. When he finds out it isn't going to happen or he wasn't invited, there will definitely be some more videos (either of him crying about how the Greene County School board conspired to keep him out of the reunion, or raging against the school itself for not inviting him). Keep your eyes peeled, this high school reunion whining has the potential to become a saga in itself --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 06:10, 27 August 2010

if not the reunion this "trollbusters" alone could be another ego trip worth laughing at[[User:Mr.moose|Mr.moose]] 09:26, 27 August 2010
==Death of the Beloved PS3==
I don't understand why Chris destroyed his PS3... isn't formating the drive mean he just deleted all the data on the hard drive? I mean I realize he had a ton of shit on there but, now he has to buy a new one when he couldve just started from scratch with his old one... Anyone mind elaborating on this?[[User:Open the udder|Open the udder]] 01:21, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:This is either a gross overreaction to losing his hard drive (most of the content on which could easily be replaced, such as comics, songs, and purchased content.) or a somewhat extreme attempt at <s>re</s>gaining a social life. It actually reminds me of when I was a kid and I lost one of my Pokemon due to a trading glitch and came to the retarded conclusion that I should just wipe my entire save file. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 12:10, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:: who knows. my guess is that he will probably buy another one eventually with his tugboat
:::What about the rumors that he was trying to collect a bounty from trolls. [[User:Abyssal|Abyssal]] 22:37, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
::::Rumors and nothing more. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:01, 1 September 2010 (PDT)
Speaking of unsubstantiated rumors, I also heard that Chris's PSN is active again. Can anyone confirm? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:32, 1 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris spotted at Fashion Square...Again.==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34ueHWOKMh0 The guy who made the FAF vids posted this.]

Any thoughts? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 17:13, 31 August 2010 (EST)

: He looks almost normal. Interesting... -[[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 14:26, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

:Same orange shirt from this weekend's second video. I wonder if he's giving up on the trucker vest. Kind of disappointing, really, in the plain old slacks and a t-shirt he just looks like a garden-variety fat dude. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:27, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
::Chris is seriously not aging well. The more normal he dresses, the more obvious his poor health becomes. What I see is a mass of orange filth, and from that mass, four scrawny, sickly limbs have sprouted. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:09, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Maybe it's 'cos I live in the South. Take him out of the clown shirt and Chris isn't all that unusual down here. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 16:14, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
The way he's sitting suggests he's "spreading his plumage" just like his Captain Morgan pose with the muscle bra at FAF. He still fucking believes he's the apex of masculinity and women will flock to him if he makes himself visible. Of course, the only thing he's showcasing sitting like that is his gut and man boobs.

Should we add this to the [[Attraction Sign]] page? Same concept, Chris is just getting more and more implicit about it. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 14:38, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:He's not becoming more implicit, he's just becoming more lazy about it. Back in 2005, he actually put a tiny degree of effort into his attraction methods. Now he's not even trying anymore. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:02, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:There is no attraction sign in that video. Chris is just lusting after the chick while he sits slumped in the seat, at the height of his glory. --[[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 20:46, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

== Jerkops wanted ==

I'm looking for a few new jerkops.

Prereqs:

1) must not be a fag (homosexuals alright, I mean people who are just stupid).
2) must obsessively or at least semi-obsessively monitor the CWCki
3) must have a spine.
4) you must have been editing the CWCki for a while (in other words, I recognize your name).

Being a jerkop ''will not'' get you any special privileges. You will not get privy information about Chris. You will not get to troll Chris. You will probably not get any honor or glory. You will however get a userbox.

Contact info on my userpage.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:58, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

:ME ME ME ME ME ME [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:00, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:*No. Everyone else contact me privately.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:01, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris mentioned on Atop the Fourth Wall ==

Linkara mentioned ''Sonichu'' and Chris in his latest video "15 Comics I'll Never Review", under the entry regarding webcomics. The Embodiment of the Internet showed up and forced him to review ''Sonichu'', but then settled for a ''Sonic'' comic.

The episode in question: http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html -- [[User:TobyMobias|TobyMobias]] 22:13, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:I watched it earlier today and I lol'd hard when he mentioned it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:28, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

== Any news on Chris' High School Reunion ==

Hello everyone, I'm mostly a lurker but ever since I found out about this site I couldn't help myself and dig deeper into Mr. Chandler's mind. Chris has been hell bent on trying to go to his high school reunion, hoping to meet his old gal-pals. I've been trying to find anything about Manchester High School on the internet, hoping to find anything about anyone planning a 10 year reunion. From alumniclass.com to facebook, looks like no one is planning anything or seems to care about their high school reunion. I found this on alumniclass.com, but it looks like a troll made this. [http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c381/ShinGokuIAM/Others/MHSClassReunion00.jpg] I'm going to try and keep digging but I doubt anyone cares about this high school reunion. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 07:55, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

== Laser Pointer Shit ==
This post is six months old but it hasn't been mentioned here so I thought it might be worth crossposting.

"I have witnessed Chris Chan in the flesh and he's kind of a running joke at work. He would shine his laser pointer at a woman I worked with in order to get her attention, I guess because she fit his physical criteria, except that she was not boyfriend-free." ''-Komet, Something Awful Forums''

[[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 19:56, 10 December 2010 (PST)

CWCki:News

2010-12-11T03:56:41Z

V3N0M1300:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Community Portal}}

This page is for discussion of da latest update.

== Flipnote Hatena return ==

So... how many <s>days</s> <s>hours</s> minutes before he's banned? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 04:57, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, they've been up for almost 12 hours now. He must have flown under the mod's radar. That's going to change since we're now aware of this development. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

And will we get many more badly drawn, idiotic animations? Also what is the general opinion of what we want to happen here? Do we want to report him so he will get banned again and rage, or do we want to see where he goes with this? -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 05:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
* Already reported his water maze dream. May as well to be perfectly honest. Besides, I don't think we'll get anything new, and I would love to see him rage about Flipnote Hatena Moderators for banning him because he is BAwwwwwtistic. Jump on the Pickle train, destination, Chris. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 02:33 25, July 2010 (UTC)

Knowing how fast Chris got banned from Flipnote Hatena(what was it, a week or two before he got perma-banned?), it will probably be even shorter. I mean, does he seriously think he can get back on and no one will notice? He's a real tool if he thinks Trolls aren't going to mess with him or report him, and an idiot if he thinks that the Moderators on FH wont notice his shenanigans and kick him right off. Also, how did he get around the ban? He must be using a library computer or something, or bought a new DS just to get around it. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 01:37 25, July 2010

SakuraBlossom is posting again. Apparently she had the watery maze dream too. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 06:38, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

:Any chance of a link to her channel? This sounds interesting. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 07:32, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::*http://flipnote.hatena.com/mobile/9C6792D0F3618798@DSi/ is SakuraBlossom's profile. She gave him a butt-tonne of stars just before. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Thanks. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 15:58, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Hey guys. Delabonte here. I don't want to have to be the one to point out the obvious but you all have Autism so here goes. How about you not report Chris this time? Haven't you realised that getting him banned from one of his few outlets is completely retarded? I know you think you're achieving something, but you are achieving the wrong thing. Think about it carefully. What was funnier, when he was making these cartoons or when he vanished and did nothing?''' --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 12:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

:Thanks for the sorely-needed message (and the protip), but I fear it may be too late as some have already taken the initiative to rat him out. Even without the dumbasses prematurely ending our fun, I'm sure it's just a matter of time until Chris gets HIMSELF in trouble with the mods. In the meantime, let's see if he catches a hold of a certain cherry flower who wants to be his heartsweet. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 14:09, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:*As far as we know, he hasn't responded to Sakura aside from in email. Still, it's important he not find out, or he could discover the woman who had the watery maze dream too... That would be a disaster. Also, I do agree; quit reporting him. It's funnier if/when he gets banned because of his own actions. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:08, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Anybody who reports Chris is a moron. Also, this means he bought another DSi. And that's just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:21, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

Update: Flipnotes previously reported to be taken down are (surprise) back up again. Oh Chris. (Hopefully this time around the trolltards won't do any reporting.) --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 01:53, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

== New tweets ==

Yeah. Chris has tweeted yet again, promoting his Sonichu Modnation crap and asking for ‘5-Star Votes’. No mention of Flipnote or anything related, though.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 08:02, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Where is Chris? ==

It seems like he has been pretty inactive lately. There have been no new updates since July 26th. I wonder what he is doing. What is he up to? Any thoughts?
-Interested bystander 08/10/2010
*Chris is playing [[ModNation Racers]]. He has been for quite a while. Nothing will happen for some time. Same thing happened when he got LBP. Also, you don't have to type your name out and stuff. Just put 4 tildes (~) after your message and it will sign your post for you. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 22:35, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

This quiet spell is killing me, someone go fire a petrol bomb through his house, get some reaction.. anything! If i lived within 3 hours of him, swear to god i'd be there everyday with my camera staking him out. --[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 04:47, 12 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Heh. The thing is... doing stuff that would make anyone RAEG (or at least, respond with huge amounts of emotion and anger) isn't really what's funny. The funny thing is doing [[Miyamoto|something]] [[Liquid|really]] [[Asperchu|minor]] that wouldn't phase anyone else, or would even amuse them, then watching him explode with disproportionate tard rage. There's also this tiny, niggling doubt in the back of my mind that... unless it actually hit Chris's room, or his car, or his parents raged at him for it (therefore inconveniencing him), he honestly wouldn't care. He'd just call it 'sad' or something. Chris really only cares about himself. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:59, 12 August 2010 (PDT)

Maybe Chris is still getting into stupid shit, but we're not seeing it. Maybe he was already banned from FAF for being a creep. We can't know at this point, but the possibility that we're missing out on some heavy shit is pretty frustrating. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 02:28, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

For some reason I am really interested in the whole Chris saga. I find him to be a pretty interesting person. I wish I lived near him so I could actually see him in action or actually talk to him. I tried adding him on facebook but apparently he never checks his facebook anymore. [[User:Interested bystander|Interested bystander]] 12:54, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

I swear this whole 2 year saga is like the best thing on the internet, but even so a lot of it has been dominated by quite spells. Then he'll release a new episode and in a whirlwind of shit and comeuppance he'll find his new sweetheart (I.E. any girl who dares to even acknowledge his existence, besides his mother.). Until then we just got be patient. [[User:Open the udder|Open the udder]] 15:34, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== Not a forum crackdown ==

Given recent events, I'm starting to get pissed about people who are using CWCki as a forum. Next person to do any of the follow (list not inclusive): posting trolling plans, posting personal comments on videos (like commenting how stupid Chris is), or pretty much '''anything that is not pertaining to improvement of the article will result in temporary bans.''' If you have any questions about this, feel free to contact me. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:58, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
*champ, despite you being the most cwcki leader of all cwcki things, to be honest, you're not doing a very good job of enforcing this. you SHOULD call it a forum crackdown. you should call it Crackdown: The End of All Things: The Movie [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:29, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

== He has returned ==

Dry spell officially over? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* That has still yet to be seen, but it appears so... I would, however, expect more video's soon in the immediate future given how much Chris has obsessed over his 10 year high-school reunion. When he finds out it isn't going to happen or he wasn't invited, there will definitely be some more videos (either of him crying about how the Greene County School board conspired to keep him out of the reunion, or raging against the school itself for not inviting him). Keep your eyes peeled, this high school reunion whining has the potential to become a saga in itself --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 06:10, 27 August 2010

if not the reunion this "trollbusters" alone could be another ego trip worth laughing at[[User:Mr.moose|Mr.moose]] 09:26, 27 August 2010
==Death of the Beloved PS3==
I don't understand why Chris destroyed his PS3... isn't formating the drive mean he just deleted all the data on the hard drive? I mean I realize he had a ton of shit on there but, now he has to buy a new one when he couldve just started from scratch with his old one... Anyone mind elaborating on this?[[User:Open the udder|Open the udder]] 01:21, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:This is either a gross overreaction to losing his hard drive (most of the content on which could easily be replaced, such as comics, songs, and purchased content.) or a somewhat extreme attempt at <s>re</s>gaining a social life. It actually reminds me of when I was a kid and I lost one of my Pokemon due to a trading glitch and came to the retarded conclusion that I should just wipe my entire save file. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 12:10, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:: who knows. my guess is that he will probably buy another one eventually with his tugboat
:::What about the rumors that he was trying to collect a bounty from trolls. [[User:Abyssal|Abyssal]] 22:37, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
::::Rumors and nothing more. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:01, 1 September 2010 (PDT)
Speaking of unsubstantiated rumors, I also heard that Chris's PSN is active again. Can anyone confirm? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:32, 1 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris spotted at Fashion Square...Again.==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34ueHWOKMh0 The guy who made the FAF vids posted this.]

Any thoughts? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 17:13, 31 August 2010 (EST)

: He looks almost normal. Interesting... -[[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 14:26, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

:Same orange shirt from this weekend's second video. I wonder if he's giving up on the trucker vest. Kind of disappointing, really, in the plain old slacks and a t-shirt he just looks like a garden-variety fat dude. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:27, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
::Chris is seriously not aging well. The more normal he dresses, the more obvious his poor health becomes. What I see is a mass of orange filth, and from that mass, four scrawny, sickly limbs have sprouted. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:09, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Maybe it's 'cos I live in the South. Take him out of the clown shirt and Chris isn't all that unusual down here. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 16:14, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
The way he's sitting suggests he's "spreading his plumage" just like his Captain Morgan pose with the muscle bra at FAF. He still fucking believes he's the apex of masculinity and women will flock to him if he makes himself visible. Of course, the only thing he's showcasing sitting like that is his gut and man boobs.

Should we add this to the [[Attraction Sign]] page? Same concept, Chris is just getting more and more implicit about it. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 14:38, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:He's not becoming more implicit, he's just becoming more lazy about it. Back in 2005, he actually put a tiny degree of effort into his attraction methods. Now he's not even trying anymore. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:02, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:There is no attraction sign in that video. Chris is just lusting after the chick while he sits slumped in the seat, at the height of his glory. --[[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 20:46, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

== Jerkops wanted ==

I'm looking for a few new jerkops.

Prereqs:

1) must not be a fag (homosexuals alright, I mean people who are just stupid).
2) must obsessively or at least semi-obsessively monitor the CWCki
3) must have a spine.
4) you must have been editing the CWCki for a while (in other words, I recognize your name).

Being a jerkop ''will not'' get you any special privileges. You will not get privy information about Chris. You will not get to troll Chris. You will probably not get any honor or glory. You will however get a userbox.

Contact info on my userpage.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:58, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

:ME ME ME ME ME ME [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:00, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:*No. Everyone else contact me privately.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:01, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris mentioned on Atop the Fourth Wall ==

Linkara mentioned ''Sonichu'' and Chris in his latest video "15 Comics I'll Never Review", under the entry regarding webcomics. The Embodiment of the Internet showed up and forced him to review ''Sonichu'', but then settled for a ''Sonic'' comic.

The episode in question: http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html -- [[User:TobyMobias|TobyMobias]] 22:13, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:I watched it earlier today and I lol'd hard when he mentioned it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:28, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

== Any news on Chris' High School Reunion ==

Hello everyone, I'm mostly a lurker but ever since I found out about this site I couldn't help myself and dig deeper into Mr. Chandler's mind. Chris has been hell bent on trying to go to his high school reunion, hoping to meet his old gal-pals. I've been trying to find anything about Manchester High School on the internet, hoping to find anything about anyone planning a 10 year reunion. From alumniclass.com to facebook, looks like no one is planning anything or seems to care about their high school reunion. I found this on alumniclass.com, but it looks like a troll made this. [http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c381/ShinGokuIAM/Others/MHSClassReunion00.jpg] I'm going to try and keep digging but I doubt anyone cares about this high school reunion. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 07:55, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

== Laser Pointer Shit ==
This post is six months old but it hasn't been mentioned here so I thought it might be worth reposting.

"I have witnessed Chris Chan in the flesh and he's kind of a running joke at work. He would shine his laser pointer at a woman I worked with in order to get her attention, I guess because she fit his physical criteria, except that she was not boyfriend-free." ''-Komet, Something Awful Forums''

[[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 19:56, 10 December 2010 (PST)

Talk:Don'tPintheOop

2010-11-08T04:15:18Z

V3N0M1300:

I'll transcribe this.--[[User:Svek|Švek]] 09:17, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

Any word on the taped glasses? Just curious if anyone knew what happened to them. --[[User:Shearod|Shearod]] 17:12, 30 October 2010 (UTC)

--He said in a later video that he lost the nose piece. I assume that's the truth because Chris doubtfully did anything worth lying about in regards to his glasses. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 13:32, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

The title of the video. Can anyone shed some light on it? All I can think of is the "comedic" sign people sometimes have near pool: "Welcome to our Ool. Notice there is no "P", please keep it that way". [[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 19:26, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
:Don't P in the Oop. It's a reference to shit and probably piss as well. Eugh. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 19:31, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

I'd say this is reason enough to fire Chrissy from Wendy's especially if, given Chris's hygene, he didn't wash his hands after wiping off his underwear. He really is unemployable.[[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 20:15, 7 November 2010 (PST)

Help:A Guide to Piping

2010-10-15T05:49:04Z

V3N0M1300: /* Conclusion */

[[Image:Scrollover.jpg|thumb|284px|right|Scrolling over a pipe reveals the link as alt text.]]

Piping is the practice of linking to a page using text that is different from the page title. This is done for many reasons, but it is often done to create an "Easter egg" effect in the text. After reading this guide, you will hopefully have a better understanding of how to pipe constructively, which will help to enrich CWCki as a whole.

==How to pipe==
Piping is pretty straightforward: it's like a normal link, but separate the link from the base text with a "|" symbol, which is called a pipe (hence the name).

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Chris and anger|Tard rage]]</nowiki> → [[Chris and anger|Tard rage]]

As shown the example above, the link is on the left side of the pipe, while the base text is on the right side. Don't switch this up, or the result will probably look really stupid.

==When to pipe==
There are three main categories of piping: ''relevant'' piping, ''ironic'' piping, and ''lulzy'' piping. Each type of piping has its place on CWCki, but some care must be taken for each type. Note that these categories are not mutually exclusive; in fact effective piping will usually fall into two or more categories.

'''Relevant piping''' is usually done to add a link where using simple linking syntax would render the sentence awkward, or when placing links in a quote, where you can't change the language, or to add a reference to the topic at hand. From a functional standpoint, this is the least troublesome type of piping, as it serves the same function a a regular link. However, this is also the type of piping most likely to be done improperly (see '''When not to pipe''' below).

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]]</nowiki>
: '''Another example:''' <nowiki>[[Chris-chan Sonichu|Mary Sue renditions]]</nowiki>

'''Ironic piping''' is usually used in quotes in order to juxtapose the words of the speaker (in this case, usually Chris) with said speaker's actions. This highlights Chris's [[Chris and hypocrisy|rank hypocrisy]].

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Death threats|I do not wish death]]</nowiki>

'''Lulzy piping''' is done as a joke. This is the most troublesome type of piping, as people can easily overestimate their own humor, and this sort of piping tends to be the least relevant by its nature. If a pipe gets reverted, it is usually a lulzy pipe that generated insufficient lulz. So make sure it's good before you pipe. Moreover, don't go out of your way to pipe in this style, as this is [[CWCki:NOTED#CWCki_is_not_ED|not what CWCki is about]]. (Besides, the more forced it is, the more likely it will suck.)

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Chris Sex Videos|terrible fortune]]</nowiki>

Of these three qualities, relevance takes precedence: make sure to pipe the most relevant article possible.

: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>[[Virginia is for virgins|lack of female companionship]]</nowiki>
: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>[[Love Quest|lack of female companionship]]</nowiki>

==When not to pipe==
Piping is not required when linking a singular word with a plural base (or vice versa), as a regular link will most likely go to a redirect page (and you can always add a redirect page if it doesn't). Another way to avoid unnecessary piping is to link only the relevant part of the word or phrase; the link will automatically extend to the end of the word.

: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>[[Gal-pal|Galpals]]</nowiki>
: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>[[Gal-pals]]</nowiki>
: '''ALSO RIGHT:''' <nowiki>[[Gal-pal]]s</nowiki>

==Piping to Wikipedia==
Piping is also used to link to Wikipedia; this is done by adding "Wikipedia:" followed by the name of the article being linked to.

:'''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Wikipedia:Top Gun (film)|Top Gun]]</nowiki>

Piping to Wikipedia should be done sparingly, usually to reference something important without a CWCki page or to help define a technical term that the average reader is not likely to understand.

==Piping Hard-to-Pipe Pages==
Some pages you may not pipe properly at first. To fix this, prefix the the page name with a colon (:).
: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>Megan was [[Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG|not happy]] when she saw "SheCameForCWC.jpg"</nowiki>
*Megan was [[Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG|300px|not happy]] when she saw "SheCameForCWC.jpg"

: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>Megan was [[:Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG|not happy]] when she saw "SheCameForCWC.jpg"</nowiki>
*Megan was [[:Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG|not happy]] when she saw "SheCameForCWC.jpg"

==Try to be as specific as possible.==
Remember, you can pipe to sections as well as whole articles; all you need to do is join the section to the article name with a number sign (#).

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Homos#Defenses against becoming homo|STAY STRAIGHT]]</nowiki>

This is especially important with articles with several largely independent sections, like [[Mailbag]]s; don't make people hunt for what you're referring to.

==Avoid piping to "Lie" or "Fail" if at all possible.==
"[[Lie]]" and "[[Fail]]," without a doubt, are the most over-piped links on CWCki. Piping to "Lie" or "Fail" is lazy and can usually be improved by piping to something more specific (see above); do it only when nothing else works.

: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>[[Lie|I am NOT "sexist"]]</nowiki>
: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>[[Women's rights|I am NOT "sexist"]]</nowiki>

Another seriously overdone pipe is linking to "[[troll]]" every time the word "fan" comes up. Just don't do it.

==Don't overdo it.==
Piping can add unnecessary clutter when taken to extremes. Try to pipe as small a phrase as you feel comfortable with, and not everything needs to be piped (especially if it has been piped earlier on). If a section is completely blue-shifted (or almost so), you've probably taken it too far. Piping parts of a word to different pages is just plain faggotry.

: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's [[CWC's Second Message|first over-reactions to trolls]] and the first step to becoming a LOLcow. </nowiki>
: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>Suffice to say, [[CWC's Second Message|this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls]] and the first step to becoming a LOLcow. </nowiki>
: '''ALSO WRONG:''' <nowiki>Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's [[CWC's Second Message|first over-reactions to]] [[trolls]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|the first step]] to [[Chris Loses It|becoming a LOLcow]]. </nowiki>
: '''VERY WRONG:''' <nowiki>[[CWC's Second Message|Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls and the first step to becoming a LOLcow]]. </nowiki>
: '''LOLWUT:''' <nowiki>Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first [[CWC's Second Message|over-]][[Chris and anger|reac]][[Stress|tions]] to trolls and the first step to becoming a LOLcow.</nowiki>

==Conclusion==
So now you should be able to pipe like a pro. Now go forth and [[sonichu 0|edit to the extreme!]]

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

Help:A Guide to Piping

2010-10-15T05:47:53Z

V3N0M1300:

[[Image:Scrollover.jpg|thumb|284px|right|Scrolling over a pipe reveals the link as alt text.]]

Piping is the practice of linking to a page using text that is different from the page title. This is done for many reasons, but it is often done to create an "Easter egg" effect in the text. After reading this guide, you will hopefully have a better understanding of how to pipe constructively, which will help to enrich CWCki as a whole.

==How to pipe==
Piping is pretty straightforward: it's like a normal link, but separate the link from the base text with a "|" symbol, which is called a pipe (hence the name).

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Chris and anger|Tard rage]]</nowiki> → [[Chris and anger|Tard rage]]

As shown the example above, the link is on the left side of the pipe, while the base text is on the right side. Don't switch this up, or the result will probably look really stupid.

==When to pipe==
There are three main categories of piping: ''relevant'' piping, ''ironic'' piping, and ''lulzy'' piping. Each type of piping has its place on CWCki, but some care must be taken for each type. Note that these categories are not mutually exclusive; in fact effective piping will usually fall into two or more categories.

'''Relevant piping''' is usually done to add a link where using simple linking syntax would render the sentence awkward, or when placing links in a quote, where you can't change the language, or to add a reference to the topic at hand. From a functional standpoint, this is the least troublesome type of piping, as it serves the same function a a regular link. However, this is also the type of piping most likely to be done improperly (see '''When not to pipe''' below).

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay sales]]</nowiki>
: '''Another example:''' <nowiki>[[Chris-chan Sonichu|Mary Sue renditions]]</nowiki>

'''Ironic piping''' is usually used in quotes in order to juxtapose the words of the speaker (in this case, usually Chris) with said speaker's actions. This highlights Chris's [[Chris and hypocrisy|rank hypocrisy]].

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Death threats|I do not wish death]]</nowiki>

'''Lulzy piping''' is done as a joke. This is the most troublesome type of piping, as people can easily overestimate their own humor, and this sort of piping tends to be the least relevant by its nature. If a pipe gets reverted, it is usually a lulzy pipe that generated insufficient lulz. So make sure it's good before you pipe. Moreover, don't go out of your way to pipe in this style, as this is [[CWCki:NOTED#CWCki_is_not_ED|not what CWCki is about]]. (Besides, the more forced it is, the more likely it will suck.)

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Chris Sex Videos|terrible fortune]]</nowiki>

Of these three qualities, relevance takes precedence: make sure to pipe the most relevant article possible.

: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>[[Virginia is for virgins|lack of female companionship]]</nowiki>
: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>[[Love Quest|lack of female companionship]]</nowiki>

==When not to pipe==
Piping is not required when linking a singular word with a plural base (or vice versa), as a regular link will most likely go to a redirect page (and you can always add a redirect page if it doesn't). Another way to avoid unnecessary piping is to link only the relevant part of the word or phrase; the link will automatically extend to the end of the word.

: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>[[Gal-pal|Galpals]]</nowiki>
: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>[[Gal-pals]]</nowiki>
: '''ALSO RIGHT:''' <nowiki>[[Gal-pal]]s</nowiki>

==Piping to Wikipedia==
Piping is also used to link to Wikipedia; this is done by adding "Wikipedia:" followed by the name of the article being linked to.

:'''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Wikipedia:Top Gun (film)|Top Gun]]</nowiki>

Piping to Wikipedia should be done sparingly, usually to reference something important without a CWCki page or to help define a technical term that the average reader is not likely to understand.

==Piping Hard-to-Pipe Pages==
Some pages you may not pipe properly at first. To fix this, prefix the the page name with a colon (:).
: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>Megan was [[Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG|not happy]] when she saw "SheCameForCWC.jpg"</nowiki>
*Megan was [[Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG|300px|not happy]] when she saw "SheCameForCWC.jpg"

: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>Megan was [[:Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG|not happy]] when she saw "SheCameForCWC.jpg"</nowiki>
*Megan was [[:Image:20080312-Meg-SawPorn.PNG|not happy]] when she saw "SheCameForCWC.jpg"

==Try to be as specific as possible.==
Remember, you can pipe to sections as well as whole articles; all you need to do is join the section to the article name with a number sign (#).

: '''Example:''' <nowiki>[[Homos#Defenses against becoming homo|STAY STRAIGHT]]</nowiki>

This is especially important with articles with several largely independent sections, like [[Mailbag]]s; don't make people hunt for what you're referring to.

==Avoid piping to "Lie" or "Fail" if at all possible.==
"[[Lie]]" and "[[Fail]]," without a doubt, are the most over-piped links on CWCki. Piping to "Lie" or "Fail" is lazy and can usually be improved by piping to something more specific (see above); do it only when nothing else works.

: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>[[Lie|I am NOT "sexist"]]</nowiki>
: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>[[Women's rights|I am NOT "sexist"]]</nowiki>

Another seriously overdone pipe is linking to "[[troll]]" every time the word "fan" comes up. Just don't do it.

==Don't overdo it.==
Piping can add unnecessary clutter when taken to extremes. Try to pipe as small a phrase as you feel comfortable with, and not everything needs to be piped (especially if it has been piped earlier on). If a section is completely blue-shifted (or almost so), you've probably taken it too far. Piping parts of a word to different pages is just plain faggotry.

: '''RIGHT:''' <nowiki>Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's [[CWC's Second Message|first over-reactions to trolls]] and the first step to becoming a LOLcow. </nowiki>
: '''WRONG:''' <nowiki>Suffice to say, [[CWC's Second Message|this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls]] and the first step to becoming a LOLcow. </nowiki>
: '''ALSO WRONG:''' <nowiki>Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's [[CWC's Second Message|first over-reactions to]] [[trolls]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|the first step]] to [[Chris Loses It|becoming a LOLcow]]. </nowiki>
: '''VERY WRONG:''' <nowiki>[[CWC's Second Message|Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls and the first step to becoming a LOLcow]]. </nowiki>
: '''LOLWUT:''' <nowiki>Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first [[CWC's Second Message|over-]][[Chris and anger|reac]][[Stress|tions]] to trolls and the first step to becoming a LOLcow.</nowiki>

==Conclusion==
So now you should be able to pipe like a pro. [[sonichu 0|Now go forth and edit to the extreme!]]

[[Category:CWCki policy]]

File talk:Report.png

2010-07-07T16:21:01Z

V3N0M1300: Created page with 'Care to post a link to the goomba firefox theme? I want it ~~~~'

Care to post a link to the goomba firefox theme? I want it [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 16:21, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

United States of America

2010-05-23T02:22:40Z

V3N0M1300:

[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|right|Christian's primary thoughts on the U.S....]]
{{Quote|Okay, I don't know the words, but I am being patriotic here!|Chris, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|forgetting the national anthem]].}}

[[Chris]] is a citizen of '''the United States of America''', a democratic republic nation in the western hemisphere. The nation is considered the only remaining [[China|superpower]] since the end of the cold war, and is a leading economic, political, and cultural force in the world.

Chris's stance on the nation he lives in is inconsistent at best. While he claims to be a good citizen who loves and respects his country, his actions are often [[Chris and Hypocrisy|very obviously]] contrary to these claims.
==Politics==
[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|left|...Christian's ''other'' thoughts on the U.S.]]
At a glance, Chris's sense of politics seem very inconsistent; on some issues, he takes a very conservative stance, on others a very liberal one. That said, the quagmire of political inclinations becomes much simpler once you realize that Chris doesn't vote on what's good for America, but on what's good for Chris. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates da [[homos]], supported [[Obama]] because he saw himself in him (before he accused him of [[Chris and race|selling out the country to brown-skinned people]]), and [[Mailbag 20#Chris on abortion|supports abortion]] because he thinks it might make girls more inclined to fuck him.

Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate". While typically this simply means not having extreme or overly partisan political beliefs, he takes this as an general-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues ''every'' voter should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion.''

==Understanding of government==
Chris's grasp of how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[reality]] as a whole, is shaky at best. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes and presumably files no tax returns. However, he still thinks of himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays ''sales taxes'' on the massive amount of crap he buys.

{{Quote|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.|Chris, [[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever|explaining why he deserves free money]].}}

It's highly unlikely that Chris understands the massive discrepancy between the amount the government pays him and the amount he gives back via sales tax. Chris also fails to understand the fact that sales taxes are collected by the state, and his welfare comes from the federal government.

Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the majority while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. When asked hypothetical questions about what he would do if he were running things, he proposes bizarre sweeping laws that single out [[Homos|certain minorities]], and force people into relationships whether they want to be in one or not.

{{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|on effective leadership]].}}

The fact that this would not help the country at all, and in fact could possibly destroy society as we know it, does not factor into Chris's thinking. By his logic, since he wants a girlfriend, ''everybody'' must want a girlfriend, and if everybody wants a girlfriend, the government needs to make it happen. Over the years, Chris has proposed a large number of laws, even sending letters to President [[Barack Obama]] demanding legislation against [[trolls]] and [[homos]]. This is completely useless for two reasons: one, the President of the United States has much more pressing concerns than making an insane manchild in Ruckersville, VA, happy, and two, the US President ''can't make laws''.

Oddly, the closest analog for how Chris views his government is how Chris views his [[religion]]. He treats both the US government and God as things that can be completely ignored unless he has a personal problem, at which point they should immediately step in and help. He believes that both have a deeply vested interest in himself, often at the expense of everybody else. God should damn [[Clyde Cash]], and the FBI should arrest him. It doesn't matter that Clyde hasn't done anything the FBI would be terribly interested in; Chris is mad at him, and that's all that matters.

== Chris on patriotism ==

As Chris likes to point out, he is a “true American” and a patriot. He's very concerned with his image as a patriot, and never misses an opportunity to emphasize it. These attempts, however, often feel forced or out of place. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the Clarksville Address:

{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring Sweetheart and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 8|delivering the Clarksville Address]]}}

Chris's battle against ED really doesn't have anything to do with America or patriotism; he just knows it's good to be patriotic, and that means he's the good guy. Hence, patriotic symbolism is thrown in, without really even considering whether or not it makes sense in context. Chris is patriotic simply because he believes that's what's expected of him. His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his [[Twin Falling Towers|tendency to mock national tragedies]] and [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" end up having the ''opposite'' effect.
{{Incomplete}}

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-05-20T17:04:48Z

V3N0M1300: /* I want to warn other women */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6]]

== I want to warn other women ==

Hello, my name is Jackie. Jesus, I can't believe I'm doing this.

Long story short, I'm in the market for a boyfriend and I posted online, thinking I would give it a shot. I meet a guy named Christian Weston Chandler. Guess where this is going.

I didn't know anything about this guy before I met him there. I talked back and forth with him for a bit on email, got to know him a little. I didn't know he was such an internet freak. But he told me all about this cwcki site, because I wanted to know more about him and I wanted him to make a video for me. He initially refused to make a video for me because he said it "got him in trouble before". I didn't know what he meant, so he sent me here to see videos of him talking to previous girlfriends and how the nasty trolls got him in trouble for it. Mind you, he was very careful to remind me that this website is full of lies and shouldn't be trusted, despite the fact he himself sent me here.

But I respected the fact he was at least being honest with me about this online shit. Or so it seemed. I watched a bunch of his videos, got more and more disturbed by them. I questioned him on some things, like how he apparently cheated on one of his ex-girlfriends with some other girl online. As was quite insulting (but not at all surprising now that I've familiarized myself with this site), he lied to me and said it never happened. Even though he himself admitted to cheating on her in a video HE MADE.

And a bunch of other shit he lied about too. Like professing his love for me every five minutes, even though he COULDN'T REMEMBER MY FUCKING NAME. Check this video out: http://www.mediafire.com/?zzivjw32mlj
I asked him to make me a video showing me his female-pleasuring skills (this was before I started to realize what a disgusting piece of shit he is), and he CALLS ME BY HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S NAME.

So there you go, have at it. He calls this website full of liars, but as far as I can tell he's a worthless piece of shit and this site is pretty frank about it. I'm fucking done dealing with him but I thought I'd contribute my experience as a warning to all the other women in Virginia.--[[User:JaxRomy|JaxRomy]] 12:24am, 22 April 2010 (EST)

:* Hello Jackie, and welcome. I am sorry you had to encounter Christian without any prior warning- the truth must be shocking and a little frightening (you know he twice tried to convince the trolls to trick him into raping someone who was [[rocky|trying to help him and only looking out for his best interests]], right?). I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say that you are most welcome here, and that your experience will be added to the massive (and growing) pile of documentation regarding this mental man and his life. Your goal of warning others is a noble one and I invite you to come, join in the documentation and study of Christian Weston Chandler. Again, you have my sympathies. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:54, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Glad to be of service! Also, if you feel like you want to, you can add a better profile for him to Dontdatehimgirl.com--there's been one up there since 4chan/SA found his comic in 2007 and it's woefully out of date. And sorry you had to put up with being in a relationship with Chris. You are also welcome to contribute any information you want.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:58, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Welcome, Jackie, and I apologize for the inconvenience you had in registering for a new account. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to leave a message on my [[User talk:Champthom|talk page]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:01, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Chris chan, "cute"? Lol. Anyway, welcome. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 05:08, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*At least Chris had the lack of sense to point you here and warn you of what you were in for if you met him. Every new bit of Chris we see is darker and more disturbing than the last. This site does little more than hold a mirror up to Chris and let his own words speak for themselves. Enjoy exploring the man-child-sized bullet you just dodged. Any and all contributions you wish to make would be most appreciated. As you can see, we "trolls" are mainly fascinated observers of the perversion of nature known as Christian Chandler. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 05:31, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Jackie, I am so sorry you had to go through this.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:58, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Welcome and we're sorry for what you had to experience with Chris. You were lucky he pointed you here so soon. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 06:01, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Welcome Jackie and thank you for sharing your experience with us. I must congratulate you on your fortitude. The video he sent you make me feel quite nauseous and it's not even aimed at me! Yes, Christian Chandler is quite the sick puppy we describe and yet your e-mails are filled with juicy details and interesting anecdotes. You have proven your value and you are most welcome here among us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:10, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Hey, there. I'm so sorry about what happened between you and Chris, but it was for the best, yes? Hope you have fun here. じゃね!--[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 13:21, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*I still have to ask why you answered an ad placed by guy dressed like Ash Ketchum. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 17:04, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

== YOU ARE FAGGOTS ==

every single last one of you. seriously. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:52, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
* We love you too, Clyde. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 02:05, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
:* Indeed. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 02:06, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
::* Have my babiez, plz?--[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 03:24, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
*I want you inside me, Clyde. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:30, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
*Oh Clyde, you're too nice. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 03:25, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
*Cool.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:40, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
*Yes. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 12:47, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
*he's on to me --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 01:58, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

== Icon Templates ==

So I've added some code to the icon templates (and even added the normal icon template code to about a third of the shirt icons) so we can toggle the text labels for the icons. I mainly forsee this being useful for the video boxes on articles, rather than having to type '''<nowiki>{{BlueRedSleeveRugby}}</nowiki> Blue & Red Sleeve Rugby''', you can type '''<nowiki>{{BlueRedSleeveRugby|text=yes}}</nowiki>''' to generate the same effect. It also allows all uses of the icon template to be easily updated, should we decided to do something like rename a shirt.

I notice that there is a lot of inconsistency on pages with videos - some use icon templates, some don't - so do partly, probably due to new icon templates having later been made. So my plan is to revisit pages with videos and update them to use the templates. My dilemma is - should the format for showing the text be: '''<nowiki>{{Icontemplate|text=yes}}</nowiki>''' or '''<nowiki>{{Icontemplate|text}}</nowiki>''' or something else? --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:56, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

:Oh and examples of the icons with their respective text labels can be found [[User:Anonymax/Sandbox2|here]]. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:59, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:I reallllly need some feedback on this. Plz replai --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:17, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Hey mate, looks fantastic. In my position as a complete nobody I approve of this change. Going back and retroactively changing every video is gunna be interesting, however... -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 22:32, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
:* It's a good job Anonymax. Well done- I was watching as you put them up last night, you've done a great job with them --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:38, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

:Well I had to make the change to the templates so the default behaviour was not to show the label - in an ideal world, the default would be to show the label. I'm currently a fan of the '''<nowiki>{{Icontemplate|text}}</nowiki>''' way of triggering the display of labels - and unless anyone comes up with a reason to set it a different way, I'll make some changes soon. Yes the task of going through every page with video templates is going to take some time - however, it will help make all of them consistent. We like consistency. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:58, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:Added some more code to my sandbox version of an icon template - now the template will accept custom text:
::*'''<nowiki>{{Icontemplate}}</nowiki>''' produces {{Comics}}
::*'''<nowiki>{{Icontemplate|text}}</nowiki>''' produces {{Comics|text}}
::*'''<nowiki>{{Icontemplate|Some Text}}</nowiki>''' produces {{Comics|Some Text}}
: A more flexible solution methinks --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:32, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

:*That works well, good job --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 02:43, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I think I'm happy with the sandbox example for icon templates and their usage - but any suggestions for improvements before I start to apply it to all templates would be good --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:54, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

All icon templates have been updated now. The process of editing each video page to make use of the templates is slowly underway. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:26, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

== Sonichu update ==

I noticed today that some troll has "updated" Sonichu 11 with some new pages. Does anybody know who is this troll?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 00:06, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Protip: When stuff appears on CWCipedia, we put it there. Clyde in all likelyhood. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:09, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Then the troll failed in completely capturing Chris's fail. The comic is actually well done and funny. But in all seriousness, i'm starting to thinkg that its alec after seeing th sonichu 11 page here.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 00:14, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

nah, the style is different, take for example the sonichu revolution pages, they are more blunt and the chris chan character ends up being the lazy jerk he usually is, while his characters are more kind and/or dumber than usual. This one has chris chan acting with reason, and focuses more onto the sonichus, and how they should really react on theyr miserable lives, on the other hand, this does go with someof the plans i've read around the CWCipedia.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 00:24, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

It was originally done by a PVCC poster, and appeared there first. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:34, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
:It's hilarious. I'm thinking I'll add this to the CWC blog page, with a note saying that Wikisysop's account was "hacked" and not TRUE AND HONEST. Gotta keep up appearances, you know.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:40, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
::Its funny until the end, when its just pretty depresing, but as realistic as it could be.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 00:54, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

== An attempt to rebuild old bridges ==

Hello friends. Embarrassed as I was by Chris's DEPLORABLE behavior concerning his latest female victim, I decided to write a letter to express my sheerest disapproval with his habitual dishonesty. Inspired by that young woman's disclosure of her correspondences, here is the letter I posted:

{{quoteboxred|From: Alec-Chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>
To: Mayor Ian Brandon Anderson <chrischansonichu@aol.com>

Hey, Chris, it's Alec. How you doing?

Some of my fans linked me to that new girl Jackie on the cwcki, all those emails between you two. Too bad she broke the confidence you two had, I didn't think that was necessary. But I like best the part where she thinks I was you and asks you about my comics, and you respond by saying I was some guy who made a "fan-fiction" of Sonichu and have been trying to "1-up" you this whole time. Wow, Chris, way to go back on your fucking word once again. Remember when you told me you understood Asperchu was original and that it had nothing to do with Sonichu? Guess that was a lie. I'd say I am disappointed but since you've lied to me dozens of times already, this is pretty predictable. By the way, I can't really "1-up" a comic that stopped being produced for months at a time, anyway.

On a more positive note, however, I'm happy you ARE finally working on your comic again. Between all my responsibilities and my own comic, it was getting pretty stressful to try to pick up your comic for you, too. I especially like that you decided to kill Sandy (this page: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_11/Page_27 is my favorite one). Even though you lied to Jackie repeatedly (that's why she dumped you, by the way), it's nice to see that you're now owning up to the fact that Sandy isn't your character any more than Simonla was.

Hope Patty is eating your soul,

Alec

P.S. Hey, you like God of War, don't you? Does your recent video mean you want Kratos to wear a bra? Most men don't have boobs like you do, you know.}}

I kept things positive and very cordial, as you can see; I wished to make peace. Here was Chris's reply:

{{quotebox|From: Mayor Ian Brandon Anderson <chrischansonichu@aol.com>
To: Alec-Chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>

Shut up.}}

Following this he blocked my email (again). I wish I could say I was disheartened, but as we know this isn't the first time my olive branch has been slapped away... --[[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] 21:52, 24 April 2010 (CST)

:Alec, every time you post it's like a tiny gift from the heavens.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:04, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
::Seconded.--[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 22:18, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Alec, I want you. Bad. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 22:29, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
: Alec, if you are ever in new york you are welcome here

== Internal Server Error 500 ==

Over the past 15min, I've noticed this error occurring more frequently. Also the site seems to be running slower today. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:35, 26 April 2010 (UTC) - observing
:Now getting worse again --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:45, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

Not noticed it in any seriousness for a while --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 10:14, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

== The most retarded thing ever ==

http://cwctwitter.wikia.com/wiki/CWCville_Twitter_Wiki

and legi0n complained about ed. jesus christ. they even stole the box template that i stole from halcy :( --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 12:17, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
*A wiki for Sonichu Joke Twitters. Oh internet, you never cease to amaze.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:46, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

== CWCpedia down ==

am i the only one getting an error when trying to enter cwcpedia? has chris taken the page down?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 11:20, 29 April 2010 (UTC)
:Chris can't take it down. It's just 110MB being stupid again.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:44, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

== A Question... ==

Has anyone here thought of trying to send Christian a copy of "Undateable"? I think the book might break his brain... I mean, one of thing things listed in that book that makes a guy Undateable is "he plays videogames"... you all see where I'm going with this? -Keeperofthekorteenee
:This might be an idea. If you got some spare money, please send him a copy. By the way, to sign your post, you need to type the symbol "~" four times. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 01:46, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
:*This is interesting. Let me give it some thought, although to be honest Chris doesn't want to make himself more datable, he wants the ''standards of the entire eligable female population of the world to change to accomodate him''. That's why, no matter how many times people say ''Girls are the metal, boys are the magnets'' he will scream denials and complain that it ''should be'' or, alternatively, ''sometimes is'' the other way around. Chris not only does not want to improve himself, he ''actively resists'' such attempts because he is perfect and you can't improve on perfection. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:34, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
Remember when Vivian sent a book to Chris? Any book you send Chris, that isn't positive stupid advice like "How To Talk To Girls" won't make any sort of effect on him.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:54, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
 
I think the Jackie emails have shown us exactly how little Chris is prepared to go through for china, I seriously doubt that he'll make as immense an improvement as giving up his precious vidya for it. Besides, he outright ''refused'' to sell any of his videogames or game systems during the Miyamoto saga, and let's keep in mind that the manchild has like 500 games and 10 game systems
No, I'm afraid Chris will forever be a virgin with rage, unless maybe he gets the chance of a free hooker again (he did accept a fatty/redhead as a potential sweetheart). [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 21:22, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
:Chris is able to call the entire practice of Psychology stupid simply because it doesn't match up with his opinions on aspergers. The manchild can Mental Block shit like you wouldn't believe.
:If someone sent him the book, he would just toss it in the giant pile of crap in his room and forget about it. On the slim chance that he actually did read it he would either mental block it (Well that's just your OPINION/That's debatable) or miss the point completely (Wow! Good thing none of these apply to me, because I'm perfect). If we go for the best possible outcome here and assume he both reads it, and misses the point completely, we might get some moderate lulz if he chooses to make a video and lecture us all on how much he knows about dating, but the chances of that happening are near-zero.
:Still, if you wanna buy Chris free stuff, be my guest.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:07, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
To all of you... good point. I'm a bit new to mocking this idiot manchild; I'll catch up eventually... [[User:Keeperofthekorteenee|Keeperofthekorteenee]] 22:42, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
 
:Welcome, friend, and enjoy the ride. I reccomend [[Chris and art]] and [[Chris and English]], two of my favs :D [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 22:52, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

== Hello All ==

New user here, been browsing this excellent site for a few days now, after first hearing about Chris last year. Look forward to becoming a contributing member of CWCki, and thought I'd post here to 1. Offer my aid/support/whatever in regards to future trolling efforts (You guys have done some really excellent work, if I may say so), and 2. Let it be known that the PVCC forum is apparently having trouble in regards to getting new-user registration past the "fill in your data and submit for registration" phase (I realize that it's a private forum, and that may well be by design, but I thought I'd speak up on the off chance that it's not intentional). Anyway, I suppose that's all I have to say at the moment, so... Yeah. Hello. [[User:RobGoblin|RobGoblin]] 17:16, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

:y hello thar--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 20:01, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
:Hiii <(^_^)> [[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:08, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
::The PVCC registrations are being submitted, but the handling of the confirmation page is broken. It's a known issue - unlikely to be fixed soon though. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:47, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

Hello Rob. And Hello CWCKi. I am another new user, and I would also like to offer my assistance as a writer/contributor as well as in any future trolling efforts. I first heard about CWC from monkeyoaaron's (sp?) Ear Rape Coffee video on the youtube. So I did a little research and found CWC's TRUE and HONEST videos of fail. I found out about the CWCki when Hells1ng920 posted his epic rant on youtube, he had a link to this website so I clicked it and it led me here, and now I'm a member, so I will talk to you all later! [[User:U2rockfan|U2rockfan]] 11:50, 8 May 2010 (UTC) (Patriot720 on Youtube)

Hello, everyone. I am new here, although I've lurked for quite a bit, and I would like to commend you for all your dedication towards chronicling the manchild's life. I've been missing out on the action for way too long, and I'm eager and willing to help this wiki grow and expand. I dutifully offer my services as a contributor and participant of any trolling attempts. Anyways, hello! :D-[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 02:33, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

== Performance styles ==

I have been browsing aorund the videos for a while and noticed that maybe we could add "Racist" to the performance styles as they have been relatively frequent. (the jugaloo, bunny hop video, the surfshack tito saga videos and possibly some others i may have missed).[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:12, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

== 500 Internal Server Error ==
Is it any better now? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:08, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

== Chris is dead, now what ==

So lets say that our hero decides to become an hero what becomes of the wiki ? --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:55, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
:i never realized that. but i doubt that chris would become an hero. i think it would be by diabetes or a heart attack. but either way i fear the day, as it would mean that the cwcki would go down.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 12:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
:*The CWCki will remain as a warning to future generations. The mistakes of CWC must never be repeated. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:08, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

That is actually something I have wondered for a while. What if Chris died? Hhhmmm...Well, for one thing, Da Update would certainly slow down. CWCipedia would either shut down, be turned into a monument to Chris or be opened to trolls again. And then CWCki would become a site for literal Christorians, and everyone would just be devoted to researching Chris's life. Then one day, Cogs sells the information to a movie studio, and we get Christian Weston Chandler: The Movie. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:21, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

== Visual consistency of comic Chris ==

Anyone notice how Chris has drawn himself looking like 50 different people across all these issues?
Anyway, I'm thinking of either adding an article about this or incorporating it into the comic chris page as a special section, any thoughts?
[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 18:54, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
*At one point, I wanted to collaborate every depiction of Chris into one image, but given he draws himself differently so many times, it is a Herculean task. If you feel like it, go for it. I'd say that this could easily be incorporated into the character page for Chris's comic book self. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:25, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

==Gamefaqs==
[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/user.php?board=960619&topic=54555151&user=5492961 Profile]

[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/960619-modnation-racers/54555151 Modnation]

[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/975212-super-street-fighter-iv/54555218 Street Fighter]

The writing style's pretty close. If it's a troll, he's either too subtle for his own good, or has no real goal other than "Pretend to be Chris".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:47, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
*Get Clyde to confirm or deny it and we'll go from there. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:50, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
:*Sir yes sir.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 07:28, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
*That thing reeks of Chris. I would bet money that it's him. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 08:23, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
*Believe it or not, I think Chris can spell separate. And also,it doesn't seem like him to try to help people. * "I will personally Not Judge one or ''Separate'' any individual People as such"
From the CWC Blog
[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 17:50, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
* Chris's writing style is highly inconsistent. Also, he's not "helping" them, it's more like he's trying to "rally the masses" so he can port his save data from one game to another. Or something like that.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:57, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
* "Rally the masses", I like that, it seems just like something he would do. But still, I have my doubts, some elaborate trolling might be set up here. In any case, I don't think we should concern ourselves with this until it's confirmed it's Chris or Chris responds to it being false. [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 18:03, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
*Well, he could be a troll, but Occams's razor leads me to say he's the real deal. Here's another thread Chris posted in: [http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/960619-modnation-racers/54377904?page=4]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:34, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

== Memo on uploading images ==

If you upload images you found on other sites, try to source the HONEST and ORIGINAL creator when possible, or at least where you found it. It's good wiki policy in general. Likewise, try to use Creative Commons stuff whenever possible. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:53, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

== Sydney Kirsch ==

In the wake of the [[Jackie]] emails, on or about the 22nd of April a brave <s>troll</s> woman named Sydney Kirsch mistook Chris for "[[Liquid|another Chris]]" at [[The Game Place]], with whom she had intended to do some Poke'mon related business. Since she had forgotten this handsome, devilishly charming man's e-mail address, she simply googled Chris and The Game Place then e-mailed the first place that came up. The following is all record of what took place...

Sydney had the noble end-goal of wanting to get Chris to resume answering the mailbags, by trading naked pictures of herself for answered questions. Unfortunately... things did not turn out that way at all.

Some subject matter (mostly audio clips and voice mail messages) have not been posted because they are mostly irrelevant, don't add to the story and/or don't contain input from Chris. Note that the date/time stamps on e-mails are for Virginia time, while the date/time stamps on audio clips are [[PandaHalo|Adelaide, Australia time]]. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]]

*Dude, don't forget to sign your posts! Anyways, I moved all the stuff about Sydney [[User:Ronichu/Sydney|here]] because I didn't expect you to make an entire damn page on the community portal about her. I can confirm that Chris was in contact with Sydney so yeah, we could make a regular page for her. For the time being, there's that user page. Not sure what to call a page for her though - most pages that are about the person are about the person them self and not so much the actual conversations they had with Chris (see [[Vanessa Hudgens]] versus [[Vanessa Saga]]). Yet this isn't a proper saga, given the nature of it. We can't just call it e-mails because there's also those two call. So mostly we need a name for this page and we can post stuff there.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:55, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

:* I agree that it's definitely not a saga. If you look at the saga timeline someone drew up, the sagas are getting remarkably shorter and shorter. I honestly think to be a saga it has to provoke significant public response from Chris over at least a few months. I don't know what to call it; maybe 'Sydney Contacts'? To be honest, as I said before Champ, I don't know if there's really much here at all. Chris is getting more desperate, he is still looking online but hoping to move it offline ASAP, Chris can't remember people's names... Probably the only significant information in this whole thing is that if you try to call Chris and be a faggot, it will not work so don't try. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:14, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

* Jesus, even Chris was bored by those emails. What would be the point of yet another e-girlfriend, anyway? Just stop it already. [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 21:37, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
:*The point was to get him to restart the mailbags and nothing more. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 22:59, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

== the manchild reverts the changes. ==

It seems that CWC has reverted most of the changes done by his "fan". Apparently, character development is the cancer that will kill sonichu. I saved the changes that were deleted by america's most hated autist. Also apparently, Bubbles is jewish.
{{quoteboxred|The reason he wanted to work with Mary Lee Walsh is because he wanted to align himself with anyone who would do his bidding; however, eventually she wanted to backstab him and then destroyed him.Count Graduon is currently dead, but soon he will return as the evil God Graduon and attack Vamprosa. Sonichu had not evolved into Metonic at that point and soon God Graduon will take over his body.}}

{{quoteboxred|:Zapina had a sad, lonely life. Her parents were killed by the evil Evan. She used to live in a 2 story house with her mom and dad. One day, Evan was really angry about the popular mayor so he took a gun and shot them dead. Then he lit their house on fire and Zapina had to run away.
Eventually Zapina found comfort in the home of Simonla Rosechu. Evan did not like this and had Simonla killed.
It turns out, before Zapina was born, her mom and dad owned a factory where they produced Pokeballs. Evan was a lazy worker at the factory and wanted revenge because they fired him.
Soon Zapina would form a relationship with Ganster Sonichu; however, Gangster Sonichu broke up with Zapina because he was dating her to cover up his homosexuality. Zapina would soon be great friends with Sandy Rosechu to help get over her break up.}}

{{quoteboxred|Cera Rosechu is a very pretty Rosechu who will grow up to become a strong-willed Rosechu. Her mom does not have a lot of time to take care of her because she is too busy saving the day, so her babysitter Heather, takes cares of her.
Her babysitter is a lesbian, however Cera does not grow up to be a lesbian. She is straight like her brother and other sister. Her future husband will be Blake and Bubbles's child who is called Kyle Sonichu.
Kyle and Cera are currently in kindergarten being taught by their teacher Mrs. Lyra. Mrs. Lyra is frustrated because Kyle and Cera keep talking in class. Cera is not very good with her mathematics and she often asks Kyle for help.}}
[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 21:40, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:Why are you writing this here and not in the CWCipedia tracker? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 21:48, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*<s>didn't know how. i'm going to right now.</s> someone already did it[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:05, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:If Chris reverted the changes without comment, then we need to have the girls make more changes. That ought to infuriate him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:42, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
::He still hasn't reverted the changes made to the captain's log on the main page. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:12, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:::Yeah, and I think I know why. This is pure speculation, but I think Chris just checks the recent changes page to get told what's going on. Daria Camacho made a bunch of changes with her account set to bot, and the default setting on that page is to hide bot edits. Chris hasn't reverted them because he has no idea they happened at all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:38, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
::::Actually, chris did not revert all the edits. the vamprosa page daria set up is unchanged and he didn't delete completely the graduon page. what i copied was just what he deleted.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 13:42, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
::::Well then I think it's clear that the correct course of action is mass bot vandalism. He'll have no idea what hit him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:44, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
:::::Yes! Do this! --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:20, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

== Broken audio links ==

Someone, do me a favor and post here pages that need working links to audio downloads and stuff like that. I believe one of the concern with transcribing some of the Mumble chats is that we have no working audio links so we need to fix that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:01, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Boss, the ones I could find are:

Mumble 12

CWCCumsforaCat

JackThaddius Call 2

JackThaddius Call 3

Julie Reveals Herself

DPF Phonecall

There may be more. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:54, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

== CHRIS IS STUPID ==
http://pastebin.com/1YndZLqf [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:04, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*Wait was this chris telling Anonymous to piss off or somebody talking to chris? if it was the former, yeah he's fucked.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:18, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:*god damn can you even read the first fucking line of the fucking thing? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:23, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*This sounds like Rocky.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:20, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:*this is too fucking retarded to be from anyone else. chris is just trying to justify his fucking atrocious reputation of being a retard. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:23, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:**But since when has he been trolled by Anonymous? When did chris send this email out?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 02:06, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
::*he's probably referring to the old meaning of anonymous. you know, before 4chan. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:08, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:::*He might not even make the distinction between his current trolls and the anons. Anyway this is a pretty neat document. Any idea where we should put it? Do we have any extra context?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:41, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
::* The e-mail is now the featured quote in the cwcpedia. Well at least the last lines.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:05, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
original e-mail:
{{quotebox|<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5a7HN0pa0w&feature=related</nowiki>

This was part of a radio show from a few months ago. It resurfaced recently and I had a listen.

If you wonder why this applies to you: skip to 7:00.

A woman comments about how YOU will be part of her nightmares now.

This is what normal people, not trolls, think of you. If you really think it's just trolls who have formed a bad opinion of you, think again. Just letting you know.}} [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:22, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

I don't see how anyone could have a good or even neutral opinion of Chris after hearing/reading about him. --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 22:28, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
*maybe its because chris is the epitome of self delution.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 22:43, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

Anyone want to hazard a guess as to why he thinks he's a good person in real life? Is he just wanting real companionship, or does he actually think that he's better in real life? If the former, he's still prime troll bait, but if it's the latter, we better pray he doesn't find a more forgiving Young Adult Social Group orwhateverthefuckitis. If he gets people in real life, and he realises he's screwed up on the internet, he won't be coming back. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:32, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
:If you remember from the Greene County conspiracy video, he said that he called up Rocky to see if anyone would come to the extreme sports show with him, and no one ever called back. It's obvious what's happening here. People are avoiding Chris out of disgust, because he is bad and he smells bad. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:53, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
::* If there is one thing I am glad for in this life it's that you cannot smell someone over the Internet. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:16, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Wait, I can see what's going on. First, remember that Chris thinks everyone is simply afraid of him--in fact, they're repulsed by his appearance/odor/behavior. He's found out about that murder case, and seems to think that it's one of those things that can happen in relationships. This is simply an extension of the "THEY ARE AFRAID OF AUTISTICS" line of thought--he thinks people look at him and think "OH NO A BAD GUY". Or perhaps someone just told him what a horrible person he was. His definition of "horrible person" is "guy who makes me stop using Simonla" or "guy who kills ex girlfriend", not "Overweight, odorous, naive, lying manchild"--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
:::*Makes sense to me. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:52, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
:::*I rather see it as a "Pity Plea". A creepy "I could had loved her" scenario. As far as the YASG goes, I guess Wallflower talked about her ordeal and even good-thinking Christians made the choice of keeping him away. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:05, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
::::*Which raises the question, where will he go next? Charlottesville is a pretty small place, judging by the Google Maps screenshots. My own town is about the same size, and everyone knows all the crazy people around. I'd imagine Chris has a very similar reputation, probably due to a mix of his IRL activitites and troll activity. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:55, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Well, Chris is obviously the village idiot, but the question is if he even realizes that himself. For all we know, he considers himself the grand master of Charlottesville and thinks everyone is honored to live in the same area. It sounds stupid and unlikely, but this is Chris we're talking about. Unless he's claimed otherwise, I don't think he'd even be aware of having a reputation like that. --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 21:52, 18 May 2010 (UTC)
:::::*I like to think that all the kids in Charlottesville believe that the Chandler Household haunted by fat, man-eating monsters. I can just imagine some girls having a sleepover nearby and one of them getting dared to go in it. Hilarity Ensues. And by Hilarity Ensues, I mean Raep Happens. :)[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 02:11, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
::::::*what's sad is that it would not be very far from reality. though we could count on bob to protect them...for now.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 02:37, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Well, only if he hasn't died yet. D:[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 03:28, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

== joinage ==

So I sent Chris a link to a Pokemon forum asking him to join. I also told him that it'd be awesome if someone as 'recognized' as him would join and such crap. Now, what are the chances that he'll actually join? I mean, we could do some pretty nice trolling should he actually join. :D So... yeah. That's all. <s>please don't kill me</s>[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 04:11, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

== An eyewitness emerges ==

[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/41019.html Gamer Paulo tells us about Chris at the Game Place.] --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:09, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*We (at least certain people) are working on establishing the validity of this account (i.e. asking Mimms and Lucas to comment on PVCC). Once we get confirmation, we can add it here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:15, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*I'm going to call troll--you'd think Chris would boast about the time Mimms supposedly begged him for forgiveness. That would have been a massive boost to his ego and you just know he would have mentioned it somewhere. But other than that I wish the rest was true, espicially the part where Snorlax sat down on the floor and rambled about Greene County.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:23, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*It does seem sort of suspect - The guy claiming to verify him as the Gym Leader at TGP reeks of samefag, at least imho. [[User:RobGoblin|Gobs]] 05:56, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
**Supposed samefag here. I'm just deeply embedded in the Pokemon TCG scene. When I saw the thread I got really excited since someone still playing the game there had (or claimed to have) interacted with Chris. Posted PMs exchanged @Pokegym.net/forums in #sonichu via screencap. (Links here: [http://tinypic.com/r/10wv2w7/6 1] [http://tinypic.com/r/29kweg3/6 2] [http://tinypic.com/r/2q1cmkp/6 3] [http://tinypic.com/r/2hcqkah/6 4] [http://tinypic.com/r/vg5r8x/6 5] [http://tinypic.com/r/2r6ebk3/6 6]) The only thing that I couldn't find was his real name. Usually it's on the Organized Play website but The Game Place's page doesn't have a contact name (Neither did the "Virginia Pokemon" website, and the few people I know who play in VA didn't know either.) A quick google search got me a post on the Gym by user PokeMedic who said they'd recently taken over as League Leader at the Charlottesville location. I've had an account there for years, PM'd the person expecting no response. Surprisingly I received confirmation. The way our conversation panned out, he appears to be legit, or at the very least the current League Leader at the Game Place. Hopefully Mimms or Lucas can provide a name. [[User:Skuntank|Skuntank]] 06:58, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
**PokeMedic? As in, Medic the mod on /cwc/? Now that would make me lol if he's behind this trolling effort. I'm suspicious that Paulo's original post in the thread implies that he first heard about cwcki and /cwc/ and only recently read the ED article, even though he's been in on the Chris-GamePlace saga since "day one." Wut? [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 07:53, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*Sounds like a troll to me. Besides, he's aware of this wiki's existence, so why didn't he post it here in the first place? And he seems to be avoiding giving direct answer/saying something we don't know. Also, WTF with Megan being a manipulative bitch?[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 06:13, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE BACKGROUND [[User:RobGoblin|RobGoblin]] 06:25, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
**Adblock Plus, dude. Find the image, filter, seizure over. [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 07:53, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*Totally not a troll. I was hoping to get my feet wet in this because Mike really wanted to get in on this but can't commit to it. Mimms will confirm, but he's not going to say nice things about me and likewise. --Gamer Paulo 06:38, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*Troll or not, his take on Megan is one that I'm sure myself and a lot of others have suspected is closer to the truth for a long time. This isn't some teen movie where the shy, friendly girl is spit on by the blonde cheerleader clique for no reason. In the real world, if you don't have friends there is probably a good reason for it, and we know that Megan really didn't have any. She's also a Nazi fetishist in her twenties that still plays Pokemon, traces Sonic recolors and Sailor Moons, and uses a retard for material gain, these are all known facts. I find it hard to buy that she was just some innocent demure flower ruined by Chris's actions (which is not to say Chris would not have been perfectly capable of doing so if it was in fact the case) [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 06:39, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*(Stress sighs) Since /cwc/ is in seizure mode, somebody requested that I upload a screencap of the thread. Here ya go. [http://s000.tinyupload.com/index.php?file_id=00599092886322880810]--[[User:Inetlumberjack|Inetlumberjack]] 07:08, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
**I'm pretty sure that the seizure background is to make sure "you-know-who" doesn't read it. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 07:17, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
**He's forgotten it exists and doesn't check the community portal, don't worry too much. Plus, PARTY HARD mode will rape his eyes if he got uncomfortable just looking at a red-black gradient.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 07:58, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
* I can't keep out of my head the possibility that the new source is a troll. Nevertheless, it still adds a piece to the mosaic of the Game Place. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 13:04, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
Well, It looks like there might be some truth to this after all... According to Lucas, he knows who it is. Taking in all these facts, perhaps this person is indeed Eric: in The Lucas & Mimms Q&A, they said Chris picked on a kid who took over Chris's role as gym leader a few times. Just a guess, but that's who it might be if this isn't a troll [[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 12:49, 19 May 2010 (EST)
* That is my name, but the other stuff about me isn't accurate. As far as Chris goes, he never picked on me and I didn't really do anything with Chris except play one game of Pokemon with him. Everything else we heard and saw was through observation. Mike and I wanted to put ourselves out here to maybe get in on some FAing since we're tired of how persistent he is in trying to get back into the store and how his actions keep affecting business. While I was in the store today talking to everyone and showing them the comments that were made on /cwc/ we had a riot. We then got a phone call from the owner this afternoon who just seems to have found out about everything from another employee who saw what was going on yesterday on /cwc/. He thought it was a riot but since he's now aware we need to stop what we were hoping to get accomplished since it might make us look like instigators. From the looks of it though we weren't really going get anywhere. --[http://http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/User:Gamer_Paulo Gamer Paulo] What the hell are these? Some words? 17:30, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, it might not have been such a great idea for you go on /cwc/ and out the owner as a registered sex offender. Some people are so touchy. [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 19:03, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

regards putting stuff on cwcki, only use information they agree on. so, nothing about mimms begging chris, nothing about megan and nothing about paulo being a furry. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 19:37, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*I assume this means that the post Lucas made on PVCC is mostly valid(by "mostly" I mean the part about Megan, which is debatable).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:44, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed"
|-
! Lucas post on PVCC - Wednesday, May 19th, 2010, 8:42 PM
|-
|Okay

that's what I should've done in the first place, my bad, I was kind of peeved and it got the better of me

-he's a real guy

-what he said about barb the day chris was banned is more than likely true

-I want to say chris trying to segregate the kids never happened. That's a pretty big deal and I'd imagine if he did do that he would have been booted instantly. You guys would have heard about it too from Mimms since he was almost always there and you guys asked us about his racist exploits many times already

-There were never many parents staying around until fairly recently like after chris left

-like I said I personally think his thing about megan is crap from my point of view

-story about mimms lies and exaggeration probably fueled by their dumb feud

-ask me about anything else but I think these are the most important parts. A lot of his other stories are just about him
|-
|}
since the validity of the info is disputed, anything that the two agree on can be put into an article. everything else should be considered false until proven otherwise. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 21:04, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

put the meagan stuff in there just as an "alternate interpretation" section --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] needs to sign their comments

So, does this mean that Medic = Gamer Paulo or that Medic hacked Gamer Paulo's user account?

http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/User_talk:Canine
''Please delete my account. medic is here, canine is a faggot --Gamer Paulo''

The Paulo thread has been disappeared from /cwc/, by the way.[[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 16:16, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

===My thoughts===
This is one of those interesting times when we get into meta-wiki issues which starts to delve into epistemology and areas like that. As I see it, we should document Gamer Paulo's account. As with any history, it's ultimately biased towards the historian's personal views. I will disagree with Cogs in that we should include stuff of suspect, and let people decide for them self what is valid and what is not. So my approach would be to post all of Gamer Paulo's stuff, and to include Lucas's commentary so the reader will be able to see criticism from another Game Place regular.

The problem with any eye witness account of Chris is that it's going to be biased in some way - for all we know, Lucas could be exaggerating, [[Anna]] could be exaggerating in [[Tale of the Crazy Pacer]], and so forth. I believe we've discussed the validity of taking Chris's personal history as valid, even though it's obviously very biased.

That's my two cents. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:56, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

Doctor Robotnik

2010-02-26T02:15:15Z

V3N0M1300:

[[Image:Robotnik.jpg|right|thumb|Robotnik hatching another evil plan for Sonichu's balls.]]
[[Image:And your little dog too.jpg|left|thumb|A rendering of Robotnik in Nintendo Power]]

'''Doctor Robotnik''' (full Name: '''Doctor Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik''') is the main antagonist of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series that [[Chris]] rips off for his own purposes. According to the user's manual for Sonic Adventure 2, Robotnik has an IQ of 300, which is likely the reason Chris makes the same [[lie|claim about his own intelligence]].

==History==
Robotnik is briefly alluded to in [[Sonichu #0|Sonichu comic #0]], and he makes his first actual appearance in [[Sonichu #1|Issue #1]] as the issue's primary villain. He also makes a guest appearance in the homemade Nintendo Power magazine. Robotnik seems to be head research scientist for [[Giovanni]] where he orders around the enigmatic Bill, a lab assistant lacking a face. He is also a member of [[PVCC| The Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], as well as the creator of [[Blake]], a clone of [[Sonichu]] genetically engineered to be Sonichu's superior. However, during the creation process, cherry cola was poured over the beakers and stained Blake black and made him profoundly retarded, making him Sonichu's [[niggo]] equal instead. Robotnik was last seen towards the end of [[Sonichu #9| Issue #9]], where Robotnik, Giovanni, and Reldnahc hold Rosechu captive while Giovanni asks Sonichu whether he'll choose his girlfriend over Cwcville. He and Reldnahc are then knocked out by an unseen force (because apparently someone KO'd them from behind or something) and they have to retreat while Reldnahc [[dirty crapped briefs|shits]] himself in embarassment.

==Purpose==
Robotnik's presence in the comic initially appeared to be that of an antagonist, or at the very least a supporting character as part of the evil cabal who attempts to [[Love_Quest|thwart Chris]]. Instead his presence only stands to reinforce that Chris has absolutely no skills in character development. The fact that he is the villain of the Sonic games also seems to reinforce the fact that Chris has [[Sonic|blatantly ripped off a far more entertaining plot line]]. Hell, Robotnik even hints at the fact that [[Black Sonichu]] looks like Shadow upon his creation in [[Sonichu 1]].

==Objective==
Robotnik's goal in the whole story is never really stated. It can be assumed that he just wants to be an evil asshole like everybody else. In the actual Sonic series, Robotnik is a madman hellbent on imposing his own view of utopia upon the world. In Sonichu, he just seems like a total fruitcake. However, the fact that he is fat, claims to be extraordinarily [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Eggman#Concept_and_inspiration intelligent], all while being a bumbling idiot who is always defeated shows that he is actually more representative of Chris than the actual comic character of Chris.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Villains]]
[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

List of Chris's lies

2010-02-26T02:13:08Z

V3N0M1300: /* Chris's lies */

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing so his lies have the opposite effect (ex. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (ex. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg | rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie", a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[Autism|autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[Honest]].

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be related to [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact he willingly consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble_2|Mumble Chat 2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he was already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris_dispels_videogame_rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, the truth of the game was not revealed until 4 February 2010 where it was revealed to be ''Sonic the Hedgehog 4''. The idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut,"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref> yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while he left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*In an email<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website".

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship<ref>[http://www.pilgrimhall.org/mayfpass.htm A list of all passengers on the Mayflower from a guy who was actually there]</ref>.

*He has made [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|occasional]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|claims]] that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|several]] [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|instances]] [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|of]] [[It's UGH!|him]] [[CWC "Boyfriend"|showing]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|otherwise]].

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an [[Robotnik|IQ of over 300]].<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref>. For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later on, he claimed to have an IQ of 150.<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics. [[Megan Schroeder|Does]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|he]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|think]] [[ScotPalazzo|he's]] [[Wes Iseli|fooling]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|anybody?]]}}

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*In a [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself|Skype chat]] with [[Sarah May]], she agreed to tell Chris how to get his Yahoo! accounts back if Chris would draw [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_draws_Rosechu_with_a_dick|"any female Rosechu with a penis, either masturbating, or penetrating a male Sonichu with it."]] Despite the clarity of the request, Chris tried to weasel out of it by drawing [[Rosechu]] with a strap-on dildo instead of an actual [[duck|penis]]. When Sarah May called him on it, he first lied that it was a [[pickle|dick]], and then lied that it was a "mistake in drawing," even though it's plainly obvious that the strap-on was intentionally drawn. The strap-on was not only rendered in detail, but Chris even colored around it instead of through it, [[fail|making it stand out even more]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] [[Captain's Log]] entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|off the internet]]. The videos are still available on YouTube.

*Chris claims he can lift [[Mailbag 48#Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes|"well over 100 pounds"]].

*Chris claims to have taken [[Mailbag 51#Perspectives and all that|"over 15 art classes"]].

*In order to substantiate his claim that [[Asperchu]] is a [[parody]] of himself, Chris would logically be forced to admit their many similarities. However, most of that would involve admitting that Chris is a delusional, self-centered prick. Chris instead opts to note the similarities in their physical appearance. To wit: Asperchu's [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]], and [[Chris and Fashion|striped shirts]]. However, when it comes to Asperchu's rotund figure and obvious man-boobs, Chris admits that he ''used to'' have "manboobs" and a "buddha belly". Obviously, those things should not be described in the [[obesity|past tense]].

*Chris began receiving emails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. As Chris is a 300-IQ-having detail-oriented Pokémon expert, and he drew this Raichu with a pointed tail several times, [[trolls|fans]] concluded that he must have intended this, and let Chris know they now understand Rosechu started out male, and may still be male or hermaphroditic. Panicked that he'd been cornered, but unable to just issue a simple [[retcon]] due to his [[Chris and his ego|crippling ego]], Chris instead made a 22 January post on his [[CWCipedia]] including a doctored picture of the Raichu with the tail now blunted and lied to his readers that it had always been drawn that way since the very beginning. Not only was it obviously photoshopped, but he's such a tremendous idiot that he didn't change the actual comic page showing the pointed tail in his own site's archives. (It should be noted that Chris devised Rosechu's back story before Pokémon introduced the concept of gender specific features; all Raichu were depicted with a pointed tail before 2006. While Chris could have simply made this point, he opted to instead lie to his TRUE and HONEST fans.)

*In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] claiming that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.

*When [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_6|talking to Alec]], Chris claimed that the [[Basement Rosechus]] were not meant to imply that Alec raped them, only that he allegedly treated them like hamsters. If this were so, why is one of them wearing a bridal gown, and why is one clad in only her undergarments if he was just keeping them as non-sexual pets?

*[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|On Chris's fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.

*During the [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_8|the eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Nintendo simply giving away rights to use one of the most popular characters from one of their biggest cash cows is absolutely ridiculous. Also during the call, Chris made it a point to state very confidently that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns as a valid reason to not sell off any of his games to make some money. [[List of Chris's games|Chris owns roughly 600 different video games]], so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly. Even if he played games for 10 hours a day, 30 minutes at a time for each game, he'd only be able to play each game once a month.

*Chris went to great lengths to tell the [[trolls|fans]] that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10]].

==Addressing Liquid==

In the wee hours of [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|22 October 2009, Chris posted a video response]] to [[Addressing_Liquid#Liquid.27s_Video|CChanSonichuCWC]] that was possibly the largest concentration of blatant dishonesty Chris has ever compressed into a nine minute span. In a video that would leave even the most crooked politician stunned and agape, Chris had the chutzpah to rattle off a manifesto chock full of falsehoods, starting it off by declaring he is an honest man (if you've made it this far down the page, you know how ridiculous that is). He then went on to list all of his most [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_November_7th%2C_2007|positive]] qualities:

'''He is kind, good-hearted, and caring.''' He has cheated on his [[Sarah Jackson|e-sweethearts]] [[PandaHalo|numerous]] [[Ivy|times]], and the sole focus of all of his relationships is [[fuck quest|to get poon]]. He was completely indifferent to the deaths of PandaHalo, [[CWC_Shout_Out_to_Sarah_May|Sarah May]], and [[Ryan Cash]], giving selfish reasons as to how their deaths affected him. He called his [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|lone true fan of the comic]] a naïve dumbass. The ghost of his [[Aunt Corrina|dead aunt]] could also tell you how much he cared about her when it came time to bury her. Chris will outright [[Bruce_Johnson|smear other people]] to make himself look better. He humiliated his good friend [[Megan]] by uploading a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|drawing of himself fingerbanging her]] to the internet. His explanations as to why he did so included needing some sort of [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|release to keep from flipping out and raping her]]. Despite her clear objections to the picture and Chris claiming he still cared about her, he decided to go ahead and use the picture to unnecessarily fill out his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|cartoon porn site.]] He also hates [[Homos|homosexuals]] just because they're gay, and is a noted [[Niggos|racist]].

'''He cares about Kacey.''' Chris's entire pursuit of [[Kacey|her]] was a sham to [[For_Kacey_from_CWC|trick her]] and [[Kacey Phone Call|get into her pants]]. He pretended to be [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]] over the phone and on [[YouTube]] videos to get her to fall for him. When they met up, Chris could have tried to build a rapport with her and looked for a way to lay the foundation for a good emotional connection. But he was only interested in sex and spent much of the time staring at her goods, [[Father_Call|sniffing her, trying to cop a feel, and even tried to plant a surreptitious kiss on her]]. When it was all over, Chris posted a video showing that he was [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|back on top of the world]] despite having posted a [[CWC_is_sad|teary-eyed video just two days prior]]. He'd already forgotten about her, even though he told her she was, [[Kacey_and_Liquid_Call|"the sweetest kindest woman I've ever known in my life."]]

'''He is intelligent.''' Chris gets [[Blanca Weiss|swindled]] [[BlueSpike|by]] [[Ivy|trolls]] [[CChanSonichuCWC|practically]] [[Emily|non-stop]], and has even fallen for some of the [[Vanessa_Hudgens|stupidest ruses]] ever devised by humankind. He almost never deduces on his own that he's being tricked and [[White_knight|ignores warnings from others]] that he's being tricked. [[Chris and English|He can't write for shit]] or [[Hex_Bawx#The_hatred|do math]], and [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|he thinks it's possible for a completely heterosexual person to turn gay just by momentarily letting their guard down]]. He also thought the best way to get [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to stop talking about his delusional insanity was to [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|bombard them with further examples of his delusional insanity]].

'''He is generous and gives to his friends.''' Yes, Chris is so generous, that he once admitted that if he had the cure to [[autism]], a truly invaluable thing that would bring life-changing help to millions around the world, [[Pixelated PS3|that he'd throw it away just to get a PS3]]. In the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], after saying he'd share the prize money with his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]], he ended up spending the majority of it on himself. And he [[Chris_and_money#Credit_cards|stole money from his own parents]] so he could buy video game content for [[PSN|games he didn't even own]].

'''He can be cheerful and easy-going.''' He constantly started arguments with everyone at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over [[Pokémon]] games, and [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Sauces|almost got his ass kicked]] once because of them. He will resist doing or feeling anything that will be even a minor inconvenience upon him. He has also [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_English|publicly cried like a baby]] at [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|inappropriate times]] over issues that were either largely insignificant or the direct result of his own fuck-ups.

'''He is a good listener.''' Countless numbers of [[White knight|people have tried to talk sense into him]] to get him to not fall for [[trolls]], and to try to help him change his life for the better. He's resisted nearly every bit of advice he's received. [[Vivian Gee]] spent hours trying to give him sound advice about fixing his life, and he just [[Stress sigh|sighed]] and rejected her advice so much that she [[The Miscreants|turned against him]]. He [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_thinks_she_was_scarred_because_she_doesn.27t_know_much_about_sex|completely missed the point about why Megan was so upset]] with him about spreading embarrassing things about her online, thinking she was just mad because she didn't know much about sex.

'''He is empathetic/sympathetic.''' Maybe he just doesn't know what these words truly mean, but likely he knows and just doesn't care. If he were either of those things, he would understand why [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and various [[jerkops]] didn't want him soliciting himself in public, and why potential [[Sweetheart]]s would be put off by his [[The Creepy Stare|creepy overly-forward advances]]. He might have shown true remorse over the death of Ryan Cash instead of being [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_December_28th%2C_2008|awestruck by the power of causing someone to kill themselves]] and telling his brother to [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|just get over it]]. And he certainly wouldn't have cheated on his aforementioned e-sweethearts. Two weeks after he declared how empathetic and sympathetic he is, he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|stunned YouTube by uploading a video]] intending to tease a blackmail photo of [[Gregg Mays]] by photoshopping it into a picture of the World Trade Center and illustrating the towers being attacked, saying that they were both weak and would go crumbling down. Backpedaling after the subsequent outrage, Chris removed that video and [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|replaced it with another video]] showing a birthday cake with two candles...the candles being the towers from the World Trade Center photoshop copy-pasted directly over the cake, except with the tops removed and set ablaze.

'''He is fairly popular and it's easy for him to make friends.''' Chris has never been popular. He was [[A_Week_With_Christian_Chandler|harrassed in school]], had to [[High_school#The_Seinor_Prom|take his mother to the prom]], and most of the people that he had regular positive contact with [[Kellie Andes|didn't like him nearly as much as he liked them]]. After getting out of school, most people that stayed in his life or entered it drifted away quickly or have been [[Megan Schroeder|driven away by his direct actions]]. He was widely disliked at The GAMe PLACe, and had to [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School|change schools]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|churches]] due to numerous conflicts. Since he was discovered by the interwebs, practically everyone that has entered his life—both online and off--has done so just to troll him, and the few that didn't mostly ended up becoming trolls. 99% of all the comments on his [[YouTube]] videos are negative, and he is bombarded with negative emails from trolls daily. He automatically considers all males to be [[JERKS|jerks]], and even [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|belittled someone]] who is considered to be the only true fan of his comic that he ever had.

Perhaps he is confusing being popular with being notorious, but given how [[Chris_and_Wikipedia|full of himself]] he his, that is unlikely.

'''He is good at talking to people, knows what to say to them, and shares his feelings because they are "good feelings most of the time."''' Any [[Mumble|chatlog or clip]] of him conversing with someone else makes it plainly obvious he cannot carry on a conversation and constantly tries to steer the focus on himself. When he strikes up conversation with potential sweethearts, he uses [[How to Talk to Girls|shitty tips from books]] and [[Sprung|cheesy pickup lines straight out of video games]]. He thinks there are [[Dating|strict rules to follow when being social]], and even thinks that making spontaneous human connections is [[Dating education|something to be taught in a classroom]]. He's [[Megan_E-mails#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|completely incapable of saying the right thing to someone based on his conversations with Megan]] and [[Chris_and_death#RocketFox.27s_Dad|people who have suffered hardships that don't involve Chris at all]]. And when he does share his feelings, he will blurt out things that are either [[Virgin_with_rage|wildly inappropriate]], or details about himself that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|no human being would ever want to know]].

'''He stays out of conflict.''' If anyone offers [[Vivian Gee|any criticism]], [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|rips off his rip-offs]], or [[CWC_Address_to_Unilever_About_AXE|suggests he's not entirely straight]], he gets [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|defensive]] and/or flies into [[Chris and anger|nuclear tard rage]]. He gets into it with [[trolls]] at every opportunity, will not back down from an argument until he's had the last word, and will even [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|hypocritically mock]] people rather than just letting things slide. He absolutely cannot let any slight against him go, proven in his [[Clyde_Cash|lengthy campaigns]] against [[CChanSonichuCWC|various trolls]]. This video is further proof to the point; after CChanSonichuCWC reappeared, Chris absolutely had to respond to Liquid twice though he said he wouldn't ever do so again.

'''He is reliable.''' Chris can't even put out his [[Sonichu_(comic)|shitty scribble of a comic]] at any kind of regular schedule, sometimes going months at a time without updating despite the fact that he has no job and rarely leaves his house. He stood up [[Emily]] when they first arranged their date in the mall. He couldn't even be counted on to do basic minimum wage work, having been fired from a [[Wendy's|fast-food restaurant]].

'''He tries to control his temper.''' [[NO_D***_WAY%2C_IMPOSTOR!!!|Please]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|feast]] [[I'LL_BREAK_YOU_DEAD|your]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|eyes]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|on]] [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!|these]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|articles]], [[Chris_Loses_It|and ask]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|yourself]] [[Adam_Stackhouse#Chris.27s_opinion_of_Adam|just]] [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_contest#Aftermath|how]] [[B-Manajerk|in]] [[10112009|control]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_4th%2C_2009|of]] [[Youtube_Finale|his]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|temper]] [[ED|he]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_8th%2C_2009|is]].

'''He can keep secrets.''' Ever since he [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|came in contact with ED]], he has continuously uploaded [[14_Branchland_Court|sensitive personal details about himself]], [[Tour_of_Chris's_House|his family]], and [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|his friends]]. He keeps doing so despite the fact that [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|trolls are constantly using this information to torment him and people close to him]]. He told the internet that his mom has [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2009|problems with her ass.]] He will also [[PandaHalo|give information freely to people posing as trolls]], because as long as someone strings together a few nice things to say about him, [[Blanca Weiss|he will immediately trust that person without question]].

{{quote|I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole 'honesty' thing you keep talking about.|Matthew Devoria - [[Father Call]]}}

==Addressing Liquid (Counterpoint)==

In the interest of fairness, here's a complete list of the qualities he listed about himself that weren't utter horseshit.

'''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|He]] [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|is]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|not]] [[Dirty_crapped_briefs|shy]].'''

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Talk:CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero

2010-02-13T01:55:48Z

V3N0M1300:

==To do==
Instead of the normal transcript, because it's just Bonnie Taylor's "Holding Out for a Hero" (and the lyrics are actually copyrighted, which is SERIOUS BUSINESS), we just do highlights of stuff that goes on in the video. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:39, 26 March 2009 (CET)

I do think we should transcribe his ad lib lyrics at the end about how he's holding out for a heroine "fresh from the shop," since that's gold right there. I'm also very curious how much of this video (and the art shown in it) is based on ''Shrek 2''. But not, y'know, curious enough to watch the movie myself. --[[User:MachPunch|MachPunch]] 03:07, 28 March 2009 (CET)

I saw Shrek 2 and none of the art looks like it's based on it. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 01:55, 13 February 2010 (UTC)

== Ripping off Family Guy? ==

Explain. [[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 12:43, 16 May 2009 (CEST)

Indeed. [[User:Jump|Jump]] 07:21, 21 June 2009 (CEST)

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-02-10T08:08:11Z

V3N0M1300: /* "I would have them ESS-acuted!" - Capital Punishment */

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|right|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of The Simpsons.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[Obesity|McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be [[Sonichu (comic)|forced to actually put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===
In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 27-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has been employed for two months of his entire life]], lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Despite this, he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school (in a scandalously revealing outfit). At age 27 Chris has dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], regular sleep patterns, and some purpose in life apart from creating terrible comics and debasing himself on the internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|right|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his [[Resume|resume]], Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren play Pokémon with little kids all the time. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the hobby store where he played cards.

Much like acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her the richest woman in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising Sonichu (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him a dime). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] in check, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing [[Niggos|tolerance]] [[JERKS|and]] [[Homos|respect]] for other people, and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[Monthly tugboat|money]] or [[Gal pals|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) autistic. However, Chris [[Myspace|distances himself]] from others with autism, calling them "slow-in-the-minds" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and Health|seriously]] [[Duck|physically]] [[Chris|deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "blacks" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "that's another story."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic, even though they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|He thinks it's normal for adults to shit their pants from time to time]], and he found nothing strange about [[Recycling#Recycling|jerking off into a cup and chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a YouTube video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll with a picture of his sweetheart taped to the face]] because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra that he wears happily]]. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]]. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's not ashamed of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them any amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag_7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that no gay person had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack <s>is</s> was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they [[recycling|do]] behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that gays are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage."

In the world of Sonichu, the villanous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her trap shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with [[Recycling|drinking his own semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.''' That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works - legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a great number of sources. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "parodic", but doesn't like creations that he has labelled "parodies" either.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over (nonexistent) unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[EBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where [[Homos|homosexuality]] is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and Robbie Sonee describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras,]] to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman actually willing to participate]].

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===

It is evident to the readers of Sonichu that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (a idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolated incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but is not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated ([[Fail|without success]]) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[China|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]], issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]], and trying to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic, where he shot him in the shins for no apparent reason. When the girlfriend, scared for her and her boyfriend's safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Strangely, Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Issue_C/Page_29 business end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

A big example of Chris's hypocrisy are the ridiculously high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders in regards to hypocrisy are;

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|Government Welfare]] yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|overweight lazy slob]], yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]" Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" - Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is opposed to the death penalty. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the Cwckipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. That's right, serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

==Chris on hypocrisy==

{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a newer, yet badly drawn, thing, after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is vague, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist.

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all Sonic the Hedgehog games regardless of quality, and wear and display Pokémon merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed Sonic and Pokémon when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-02-10T08:07:35Z

V3N0M1300: Chris and the Death Penalty

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|right|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of The Simpsons.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[Obesity|McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be [[Sonichu (comic)|forced to actually put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===
In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 27-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has been employed for two months of his entire life]], lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Despite this, he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school (in a scandalously revealing outfit). At age 27 Chris has dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], regular sleep patterns, and some purpose in life apart from creating terrible comics and debasing himself on the internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|right|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his [[Resume|resume]], Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren play Pokémon with little kids all the time. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the hobby store where he played cards.

Much like acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her the richest woman in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising Sonichu (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him a dime). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] in check, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing [[Niggos|tolerance]] [[JERKS|and]] [[Homos|respect]] for other people, and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[Monthly tugboat|money]] or [[Gal pals|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) autistic. However, Chris [[Myspace|distances himself]] from others with autism, calling them "slow-in-the-minds" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and Health|seriously]] [[Duck|physically]] [[Chris|deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "blacks" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "that's another story."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic, even though they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|He thinks it's normal for adults to shit their pants from time to time]], and he found nothing strange about [[Recycling#Recycling|jerking off into a cup and chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a YouTube video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll with a picture of his sweetheart taped to the face]] because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra that he wears happily]]. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]]. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's not ashamed of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them any amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag_7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that no gay person had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack <s>is</s> was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they [[recycling|do]] behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that gays are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage."

In the world of Sonichu, the villanous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her trap shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with [[Recycling|drinking his own semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.''' That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works - legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a great number of sources. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "parodic", but doesn't like creations that he has labelled "parodies" either.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over (nonexistent) unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[EBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where [[Homos|homosexuality]] is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and Robbie Sonee describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras,]] to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman actually willing to participate]].

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===

It is evident to the readers of Sonichu that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (a idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolated incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but is not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated ([[Fail|without success]]) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[China|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]], issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]], and trying to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic, where he shot him in the shins for no apparent reason. When the girlfriend, scared for her and her boyfriend's safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Strangely, Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Issue_C/Page_29 business end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

A big example of Chris's hypocrisy are the ridiculously high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders in regards to hypocrisy are;

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|Government Welfare]] yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|overweight lazy slob]], yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]" Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" - Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is opposed to the death penalty. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the Cwckipedia was taken offline, he stated that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. That's right, serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

==Chris on hypocrisy==

{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a newer, yet badly drawn, thing, after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is vague, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist.

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all Sonic the Hedgehog games regardless of quality, and wear and display Pokémon merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed Sonic and Pokémon when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Anime Mid-Atlantic

2010-02-06T04:39:09Z

V3N0M1300:

[[Image:132-AnimeMidAtlanticBadge.jpg|<code>8D</code>|thumb]]
[[Image:131-AnimeMid2004.jpg|thumb|;D]]
'''Anime Mid-Atlantic''' is an [[anime]] convention that [[Chris]] attended on the 29th of [[May 2004]] and the 17th of [[June 2005]]. It took place at a Holiday Inn in [[Richmond]].

==2004==
Chris recounts this event in [[Sonichu's News Dash]] #5:<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews5.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some Ramune (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, Monica Rial (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki (Steel
Angel Kurumi), Mikako (Martian Sucessor Nadesico) and Shii (Puni Puni Poemy). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)
}}

<gallery>
Image:CWCMonica.jpg|Chris develops his [[Megan Schroeder|shoulder]] fetish
Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|:D
</gallery>

==2005==

Chris anticipates this event in [[Sonichu's News Dash]] #9 and #10:<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews9.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
Since he has put himself into Sonichu’s world, he will “Cosplay” as himself ([[Chris and his Ego|talk about self-respect]], huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, Greg Ayers and Doug Smith, and author Robert V. Aldrich. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see News Dash issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell Cool Anime items (some imported from Japan), and much, much more.
}}

This year, Chris stayed for all three days of the convention, and spent two nights at a hotel alone.

<gallery>
Image:AMA1.jpg|[[Nintendo|GameCube]]...check
Image:AMA2.jpg|24-pack of Pepsi...check
Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|[[Pixelblocks]]...check
Image:AMA4.jpg|...I said "check"
Image:AMA3.jpg|Erotic soap dish...check
Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan]] costume...check!
Image:0679-ANIME525.JPG|AWESOME!
</gallery>

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/105 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2004 convention information page]
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/638 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005 convention information page]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Anime Mid-Atlantic

2010-02-06T04:37:21Z

V3N0M1300:

[[Image:132-AnimeMidAtlanticBadge.jpg|<code>8D</code>|thumb]]
[[Image:131-AnimeMid2004.jpg|thumb|;D]]
'''Anime Mid-Atlantic''' is an [[anime]] convention that [[Chris]] attended on the 29th of [[May 2004]] and the 17th of [[June 2005]]. It took place at a Holiday Inn in [[Richmond]].

==2004==
Chris recounts this event in [[Sonichu's News Dash]] #5:<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews5.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some Ramune (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, Monica Rial (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki (Steel
Angel Kurumi), Mikako (Martian Sucessor Nadesico) and Shii (Puni Puni Poemy). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)
}}

<gallery>
Image:CWCMonica.jpg|Chris develops his [[Megan Schroeder|shoulder]] fetish
Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|:D
</gallery>

==2005==

Chris anticipates this event in [[Sonichu's News Dash]] #9 and #10:<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews9.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
Since he has put himself into Sonichu’s world, he will “Cosplay” as himself (talk about self-respect, huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, Greg Ayers and Doug Smith, and author Robert V. Aldrich. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see News Dash issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell Cool Anime items (some imported from Japan), and much, much more.
}}

This year, Chris stayed for all three days of the convention, and spent two nights at a hotel alone.

<gallery>
Image:AMA1.jpg|[[Nintendo|GameCube]]...check
Image:AMA2.jpg|24-pack of Pepsi...check
Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|[[Pixelblocks]]...check
Image:AMA4.jpg|...I said "check"
Image:AMA3.jpg|Erotic soap dish...check
Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan]] costume...check!
Image:0679-ANIME525.JPG|AWESOME!
</gallery>

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/105 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2004 convention information page]
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/638 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005 convention information page]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Anime Mid-Atlantic

2010-02-06T04:36:30Z

V3N0M1300: /* 2005 */

[[Image:132-AnimeMidAtlanticBadge.jpg|<code>8D</code>|thumb]]
[[Image:131-AnimeMid2004.jpg|thumb|;D]]
'''Anime Mid-Atlantic''' is an [[anime]] convention that [[Chris]] attended on the 29th of [[May 2004]] and the 17th of [[June 2005]]. It took place at a Holiday Inn in [[Richmond]].

==2004==
Chris recounts this event in [[Sonichu's News Dash]] #5:<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews5.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some Ramune (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, Monica Rial (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki (Steel
Angel Kurumi), Mikako (Martian Sucessor Nadesico) and Shii (Puni Puni Poemy). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)
}}

<gallery>
Image:CWCMonica.jpg|Chris develops his [[Megan Schroeder|shoulder]] fetish
Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|:D
</gallery>

==2005==

Chris anticipates this event in [[Sonichu's News Dash]] #9 and #10:<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews9.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
Since he has put himself into Sonichu’s world, he will [Ego|“Cosplay” as himself] (talk about self-respect, huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, Greg Ayers and Doug Smith, and author Robert V. Aldrich. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see News Dash issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell Cool Anime items (some imported from Japan), and much, much more.
}}

This year, Chris stayed for all three days of the convention, and spent two nights at a hotel alone.

<gallery>
Image:AMA1.jpg|[[Nintendo|GameCube]]...check
Image:AMA2.jpg|24-pack of Pepsi...check
Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|[[Pixelblocks]]...check
Image:AMA4.jpg|...I said "check"
Image:AMA3.jpg|Erotic soap dish...check
Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan]] costume...check!
Image:0679-ANIME525.JPG|AWESOME!
</gallery>

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/105 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2004 convention information page]
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/638 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005 convention information page]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Anime Mid-Atlantic

2010-02-06T04:35:53Z

V3N0M1300:

[[Image:132-AnimeMidAtlanticBadge.jpg|<code>8D</code>|thumb]]
[[Image:131-AnimeMid2004.jpg|thumb|;D]]
'''Anime Mid-Atlantic''' is an [[anime]] convention that [[Chris]] attended on the 29th of [[May 2004]] and the 17th of [[June 2005]]. It took place at a Holiday Inn in [[Richmond]].

==2004==
Chris recounts this event in [[Sonichu's News Dash]] #5:<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews5.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some Ramune (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, Monica Rial (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki (Steel
Angel Kurumi), Mikako (Martian Sucessor Nadesico) and Shii (Puni Puni Poemy). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)
}}

<gallery>
Image:CWCMonica.jpg|Chris develops his [[Megan Schroeder|shoulder]] fetish
Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|:D
</gallery>

==2005==

Chris anticipates this event in [[Sonichu's News Dash]] #9 and #10:<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews9.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
Since he has put himself into Sonichu’s world, he will [Chris and his Ego|“Cosplay” as himself] (talk about self-respect, huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, Greg Ayers and Doug Smith, and author Robert V. Aldrich. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see News Dash issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell Cool Anime items (some imported from Japan), and much, much more.
}}

This year, Chris stayed for all three days of the convention, and spent two nights at a hotel alone.

<gallery>
Image:AMA1.jpg|[[Nintendo|GameCube]]...check
Image:AMA2.jpg|24-pack of Pepsi...check
Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|[[Pixelblocks]]...check
Image:AMA4.jpg|...I said "check"
Image:AMA3.jpg|Erotic soap dish...check
Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan]] costume...check!
Image:0679-ANIME525.JPG|AWESOME!
</gallery>

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/105 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2004 convention information page]
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/638 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005 convention information page]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Talk:Optimus Prime

2010-02-06T01:14:49Z

V3N0M1300: /* Trolling Opportunity */

Add the reference from the Wikipedia page about how Chris is "a leadership figure, like Optimus Prime."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:01, 13 June 2009 (CEST)

Is it worth noting that Chris also apologizes to God the same way this article claims he apologizes to Optimus? It was in a mailbag somewhere. I'll dig it up. [[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 14:09, 20 January 2010 (UTC)

==Kid in Closet==

''In spite of this act, Chris remains a fan of Optimus Prime and considers himself just as strong and noble. Chris has referenced a story of a boy who locked himself in his room upon seeing Prime's death in the 1986 film "Transformers: The Movie." Since nobody else in the universe has ever heard this story, the boy was most likely Christian himself. Wuss. ''

Actually? I did find out where this anecdote came from. Apparently, it's in the commentary on the 20th Anniversary Transformers Movie. I found that out [http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/1600-nostalgia-critic-top-11-saddest-moments here]. So, yes, Chris DOES have a basis to say this, and no, this isn't him trying to pass it off as himself! --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:52, 5 February 2010 (UTC)

==Trolling Opportunity==

Since Chris takes Optimus Prime so seriously, we could piss him off by flooding his inbox and adspace with transformers porn. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 23:35, 5 February 2010 (UTC)
*I doubt it would have much effect. He used [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Chrischantraced4.jpg transformers porn] as inspiration in [[Sonichu 8]]. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 00:04, 6 February 2010 (UTC)
**Try ''gay'' transformers porn. With Optimus as the bitch.
**Come on, get creative. Lets crank it up a notch; Gay transformers with Optimus Prime sodomizing his car Son-Chu, who is supposedly a transformer. And maybe have Magi-Chan fucking Sonichu in the back seat as well. If we got enough space left we can photoshop in some gay Sonic the hedgehog stuff as well. Theres plenty of Sonic and Tails stuff floating around out there. You mix that up all together...Why, nothing could destroy his childhood quicker! (With the possible exception of the destruction of lego CWCVille) --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 01:05, 6 February 2010 (UTC)
**How about Optimus Prime fucking a sonee? [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 01:14, 6 February 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Optimus Prime

2010-02-06T00:28:28Z

V3N0M1300:

Talk:Optimus Prime

2010-02-05T23:35:21Z

V3N0M1300:

Talk:Chris and sex

2010-02-04T08:46:02Z

V3N0M1300:

Actually, so far so good, but I'm wondering - should we include Chris's views on women in a separate article (like how they're "so sweet" and such) or should we include it here? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:11, 28 January 2009 (CET)

It could go under "Knowledge of Sex and Gender." It'd only be a paragraph or so.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]

"he didn't understand sex until watch softcore porn on HBO around age 16)" < Fixed it to "he didn't understand sex until he watched softcore porn on HBO around age 16)". Was a glaring error; Though it was understandable to read through. [[User:IJustDontCareAnymore|IJustDontCareAnymore]] 00:13, 18 April 2009 (CEST)

I added the asexuality section to here, I totally forgot about this article when I originally wrote it. -- [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 09:13, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
:While I don't subscribe to the idea he's asexual, you present a great case for the idea. Personally, I'm of the belief Chris has the mentality of a spoiled 9-year-old who wants to play with his toys and video games 24/7, but who also wants in on the fun parts of being "grown up" without really understanding their implications. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 10:06, 8 August 2009 (CEST)

Is that conversation between Chris and Panda about her getting raped recorded somewhere? That is fucking beyond belief and I need to see it. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 21:04, 18 August 2009 (CEST)

== Chris and Incest ==

Shouldn't there be a section on this page that displays Chris' thoughts on incest? As I recall, Chris and a troll talked about it back a long time ago in one of the earliest Mumble chats. Let's also not forget what was implied between Sonichu and Rosechu in episode 9 of the audiobooks. What do you think? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 12:39. 29 September 2009

I think your furriness masks your intelligence, kid. Good Idea.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:51, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

==Rape split==
Given the stuff about Panda particularly and the fact that rape is a frequent thing when it comes to Chris, anyone think that perhaps the rape section could be split off into its own article? Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:01, 3 October 2009 (CEST)
* Sounds like a good idea to me. A ''lot'' could be written about that subject.

It'll probably be the creepiest article on this site, though. *shudder* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 08:11, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

==Prostitution quote==
Where did the quote from the prostitution thing come from? that seems like a conversation or e-mail worth reading.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:44, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==Chris's penis==
Could someone find a pic of a seven inch erect penis in flaccid state, to compare to Chris's flaccid penis? The one from the shower vid definitely can't be seven inches, because it's about the same size as mine and I'm sure as hell not seven inches. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:58, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Turgid size doesn't always correlate perfectly with flaccid size. [[User:Kajillion|Kajillion]] 06:26, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Another point; Chris's obesity is not helping his manhood's size. The layers of fat around the base of his penis might artificially shrinks it. Besides, I wonder why we are talking about this. Chris got the habit to make false claims. In fact, I took the time to download and watch his "Mass-Debate" videos and I refuse to believe that his unit measure seven inches. He might make the number by adding his scrotum but I bet he's not longer than five. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:44, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Speaking of which, would it be possible to move that lower in the page, maybe put it under a spoiler tag? I and maybe a few others would rather not be scarred for life any further by it showing up the first second we glance our eyes onto the page. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:26, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
* A sign warning you of really nasty shit like this would be okay, too. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:28, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

==Coping Methods==
Would anyone happen to exactly know how Chris's coping methods are unhealthy? I kind of know about the sex change, but what about his other methods? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 21:10, 14 March 2009 (GMT)

*They're explained pretty well here. He wants to, at least mentally, punish himself for having homoerotic thoughts. He wants to ban gay people from reality so that he never has to have those thoughts again. He's so convinced, for whatever reason, that homosexuality is just plain wrong, that he can't even allow himself to have these thoughts, let alone accept them. It's no healthier than reparative therapy is. also why does your sig say it's March? --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 05:25, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**This goes beyond homosexuality. Chris is taking great length to not mention anything remotely sexualized. His use of the terms "Pickle", "China" "Mass Debating" and "Hanky-Panky" instead of the proper terms for genitals, masturbation and sexual relations shows us what kind of cluster-fuck Chris's psyche really is. He's still in the stage where using or not using a "Magical Mantra" can give you free stuff and avoid taking responsibilities. Quite immature but oh-so autistic if you ask me. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:07, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Common Questions==
I while back Chris said his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie. I was hoping he would have a weirder taste, but is there any way we can use this information? [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 08:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)

File talk:Rawr fag.jpg

2010-01-17T22:45:02Z

V3N0M1300:

Total nightmare material --[[User:Briscoe|Briscoe]] 22:28, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
*Every time he shows his fangs like that I get the impression he wants to bite somebody. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 22:45, 17 January 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Mailbag 39

2010-01-13T21:30:04Z

V3N0M1300: /* Gendo */

I guess we're at the point where if a letter doesn't make Chris get the rage, it's not worth sending.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:06, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

That may be why he's refusing to answer them. Or maybe the Asperchu is causing him to [[stress|crash into slumber.]] --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 16:30, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

: I'm hoping for a particularly lulzy bout of tard rage from my email (the suicide one). I'm worried that it might just get rejected though. :( BTW I fucking LOL'd at Arle Nadja! Puyo Puyo terrorists FTW! [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 19:13, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

*Thank you, I pride myself in my work. The little bitch deleted my e-mail though. I think it's time Satan-sama sent him a message. [[User:NasuGrave|NasuGrave]] 21:47, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

experiement of mailbags 38+39= don't filter at all (well save for some really fucking retarded ones.) [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:40, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

== CRASH INTO SLUMBER ==

He just did.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:27, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
* Impressed. I really am.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:29, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

== How long does the mailbag have? ==

He's just deleting e-mails now without even putting them in the rejected section. How long until he just refuses to answer questions? [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 08:56, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
:*I am sure his "Manager" explained to him how important it is to answer letters. He might need to be reminded. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 13:57, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

== My e-mail (Shane Smith) ==

I referenced Zappa in that. A lot. --''Unsigned comment left by [[User:Jay Farrar|Jay Farrar]]''.

*I got it. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 14:12, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

== Gendo ==
I feel that Gendo deserves an Order of the Pickle for his "9 numbers" letter. I just hope Chris bites. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 20:40, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

*That's his social security number, right? I can't remember if it's 9 or 10. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 20:47, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
**123-45-6789 [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 21:30, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Tour of Chris's House

2010-01-13T21:29:06Z

V3N0M1300:

Why the fuck did he take these down so quick? Don't tell me he was uploading videos to his YT channel and expecting only Ivy to watch them. [[User:William Maize|William Maize]] 23:31, 27 March 2009 (CET)
*Yes, pretty much that is the reason. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:21, 28 March 2009 (CET)
:* It could also be his parents found out and they didn't want a visit from the social services... [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 11:36, 28 March 2009 (CET)

So, it's a two story raised ranch? can someone use the footage to build a simple floorplan? We may need to case the place!--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 10:21, 3 April 2009 (CEST)

Kind of tried figuring that out... its sort of tough because its impossible to get your bearings due to all the shit. It's like there isn't a landmark in the place. Plus the screen goes dark every now and then..--[[User:DrBonerSauce|DrBonerSauce]] 14:43, 28 August 2009 (CEST)

*Here are my attempts:
<gallery>Image:CWChouse1.JPG
Image:CWChouse2.JPG
Image:CWChouse3.JPG
</gallery>
The green line is CWC's route. The rooms aren't in the right proportions but you can see how they align to each other. Does it suffice for the article? --[[User:Taffer|Taffer]] 18:53, 3 December 2009 (CET)

==Trancript==

It might be profitable to get some images from the video and use those still pics with the transcript to show what he's describing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:29, 20 June 2009 (CEST)

:*I totally agree. Right now, I'm working on the transcript for the Outside half of the tour, but maybe I could do that once I'm done. If not, I'm sure someone else would like to. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 22:35, 20 June 2009 (CEST)

==Rage==

Well, you heard Chris......

Get this off the internet "NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!!!!! >:(" [[User:kewlkat101|kewlkat101]] 19:47, 28 August 2009 (ET)
*OMG, DELETE EVERYTHING!!!, he's calling the detectives!!! :o [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 00:36, 30 August 2009 (CEST)
*Bob Chandler Doesn't know the vids are still circulating. Someone should contact him and record it for posterity. [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 21:29, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

Sonic the Hedgehog

2010-01-13T21:27:06Z

V3N0M1300:

[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] is a shitty recolor of beloved hero and [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Sega's blatant plagarism has given renowned Sonichu creator [[Christian Weston Chandler]] many sleepless nights.

Chris has based his life on Sonic's teachings from [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|AOSTH]]. He has been Chris's life hero since June 1990 [sic<ref>Sonic the Hedgehog wasn't released in North America or even Japan until June 1991 - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Ironically, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|Sonic the Hedgehog MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991. Of course, there can be [[Wikipedia:Rad Mobile|Rad Mobile]] by Sega released in 1990, but that would have not made much sense either seeing as Sonic only made a cameo appearance as an air freshener and nothing more, despite the particular appearance in that game predating Sonic's own first game. That, and Rad Mobile was a very less known game from Sega, so the chance of Chrissy playing the game during 1990 ([[Soul Calibur|and failing miserably at it]]) would be highly unlikely.</ref>], replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog", involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat Robotnik, who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and Fame|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. At the end of every show, a small segment titled "Sonic Says" ([[Random-access humor|humorously]] misspelled "Sonic Sez" by Tails) would begin. Each segment would involve Sonic teaching a small moral lesson for kids to learn, such as [[Jerkops|when to call 911]], [[Rape|what to do if someone attempts to molest or kidnap you]], and telling kids [[Megatron pistol|not to play with guns]].

The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree.]] Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|decisions]] [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|to]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|enter]] [[Pixelated PS3|contests]] to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]].

Apparently, at one point Sonic was more widely recognized than Mickey Mouse. He was also intentionally designed to be easy to draw, had an incoherently random daily cartoon and a dead-serious, still-ridiculous psuedo-cyberpunk Saturday cartoon to cover both ends of the kid's cartoon spectrum, an army of merchandising, and, oh yeah, the games actually didn't suck back in the day. That and its enormous popularity (he likes all popular music, after all, why not all popular cartoons?) almost certainly drew in Chris.

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to Sonic is unknown. As the years went by, the games became steadily worse until they fell into a randomly spawning black hole of supercrap and seem doomed to dwell within its depths forever. The cartoons both ended, were replaced by something almost as godawful as Sonichu, and the current cartoon is dumb enough to suck, yet not egregious enough at sucking to be ironically entertaining. Many more pop culture trends have come and gone, some good, some heinously bad, but Chris has stuck by Sonic (and Pokemon) like an abused wife. Judging by the large amount of pages about Sonic-loving lolcows (autistic or not) on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], there's obviously something about Sonic that [[Trolls|we]] don't see. Given how rabid a fanboy Chris has become, perhaps brand loyalty has transitioned into a sort of fannish Stockholm syndrome.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[sonichu 0|issue 0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue 1, literally never even mentioned again.

==Tail's (Lack of a) Role in the Comics==
Chris has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckes and Shadow and featuring an autobot named "Prower." If his response in [[Mailbag 38]] any indication, it is possible Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by 13 year olds on Gamefaqs and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were [[homos|gay]]. According to Christian, Tails would be "[[Chris and Hypocrisy|inappropriate]]" for the comic.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 5 and 27.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with 20 years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|<s>Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day!</s> [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]

Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg

Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own unlicensed Sonic merchandise.
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.

Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[Kimmi|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces/Notes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Amy Rose]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Wikipedia article on Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/4762-adventures-of-sonic-the-hedgehog Nostalgia Critic review of both cartoons]

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Talk:Mailbag 39

2010-01-13T20:40:11Z

V3N0M1300:

Talk:Down with Asperchu

2010-01-10T03:36:55Z

V3N0M1300:

This video: You rage you ruse -[[User:Briscoe|Briscoe]] 7:30 PM, January 9th 2010

I was seriously about to start transcripting it when somebody else began doing it.

CWCki:Operation Knowledge

2010-01-05T20:14:30Z

V3N0M1300:

{{protip|Stuff from here goes onto the Common Questions page on the Cwcipedia. No frills. Just get the facts. Bill O Reilly said that. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:31, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

[[Category:CWCki projects]]

Q: What are the worst movies you have actually seen, not just ones you've heard about and won't see?

Q: Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed every game you played.

Q: Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?

Q: Why is "hand-drawn" superior to digital art? Almost all professional art nowadays is done in part or whole on computer.

Q: Do you like challenging games? Or do you prefer games which are easy?

Q: Sega and Nintendo were seen as rivals and enemies in the old days, but you had both Nintendo and Sega products. So why didn't you get into Harry Potter even as it "competed" with Pokemon? You know you can like both sides of a "rivalry."

Q: What do you think of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006? Most people think it's the worst Sonic game ever.

Q: What don't you like about Sonic the Hedgehog or Pokemon?

Q: You don't seem to have very many RPGs. Why is that?

Q: You only seem to read Sonic the Hedgehog comics and superhero comics. If you want to be a comic artist, why don't you read more challenging comics? You can only get better by broadening your horizons.

Q: Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?

Q: If you could change three things about yourself, what would you change? That's three qualities that you have, not three things other people do to you.

Q: Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so gung-ho about sex?

Q: If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you?

Q: If you won 1,000,000 dollars in the lottery, what would you spend it on?

Q: If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?

Q: If you could speak three foreign languages (besides Spanish), which would they be?

Q: Have you ever thought about getting your "curse" superpower scientifically verified? The power could be worth billions of dollars to the scientific community.

Q: If you were born a woman, how would your life be different?

Q: Why are lesbians morally superior to gays?

Q: If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?

Q: If you had never thought of Sonichu, what kind of art would you be producing?

Q: If you knew you wanted to make Sonichu comics, why did you major in computer-aided drafting and design as opposed to an art major?

Q: Why haven't you sent proposals to a comics company yet? Comic companies look for completed issues before picking up a series, so since you've got 10 issues of Sonichu in the bag, you've got plenty to work with.

Q: Alternately, why not self publish on Lulu.com or similar? You could start selling Sonichu books immediately and make some money.

Q: Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?

Q: Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?

Q: Have you met any other victims of "Kick the Autistic?"

List of Chris's lies

2010-01-04T21:42:42Z

V3N0M1300: /* Chris's lies */

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing so his lies have the opposite effect (ex. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (ex. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg | rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie", a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[Autism|autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[Honest]].

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be related to [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact he willingly consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble_2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*Chris not only lied to Miyamoto, but he also lied to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]. In order to make a case for his distinguished character, Chris told him that he spent three-quarters of his [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] prize money on his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]]. In reality, he spent 45% of it on them, and kept the rest. He even listed everything he bought with it--both what he bought for them and for himself--making it quite plain to see he was lying about his generosity.

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he was already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris_dispels_videogame_rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, as of this writing (5 October 2009) Sega has not officially announced what the game is, and major video game review sites like IGN and Gamespot still haven't received any official word from Sega. While it's pretty obvious that it is some sort of Sonic game, the idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref>, yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube.<ref>[[Blanca]]</ref> Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]],<ref>[[Robert Simmons V#Church visit]]</ref> Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while he left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*He claimed in [[The Sonichu Chronicles|his slideshow]] for [[Miyamoto]] that "Sonichu" was not a portmanteau of "Sonic" and "Pikachu"--he was playing off Sonic's Japanese name, "Sonikku." Anyone with a working brain stem can see through this particular untruth.

*In an email<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website".

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.

*He has made [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|occasional]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|claims]] that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|several]] [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|instances]] [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|of]] [[It's UGH!|him]] [[CWC "Boyfriend"|showing]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|otherwise]].

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an IQ of over 300<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref>. For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later he claimed to have an IQ of 150<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>.

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics. [[Megan Schroeder|Does]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|he]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|think]] [[ScotPalazzo|he's]] [[Wes Iseli|fooling]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|anybody?]]}}

*Pretended to be famed troll "Bill Riley" in an [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC Chat]] in a miserably failed attempt to learn what the trolls had planned for him. Includes a bizarre moment where he tries to convince the trolls that they should force [[Chris|"That Retard"]] to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*In a [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself|Skype chat]] with [[Sarah May]], she agreed to tell Chris how to get his Yahoo! accounts back if Chris would draw [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_draws_Rosechu_with_a_dick|"any female Rosechu with a penis, either masturbating, or penetrating a male Sonichu with it."]] Despite the clarity of the request, Chris tried to weasel out of it by drawing [[Rosechu]] with a strap-on dildo instead of an actual [[duck|penis]]. When Sarah May called him on it, he first lied that it was a [[pickle|dick]], and then lied that it was a "mistake in drawing," even though it's plainly obvious that the strap-on was intentionally drawn. The strap-on was not only rendered in detail, but Chris even colored around it instead of through it, [[fail|making it stand out even more]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] [[Captain's Log]] entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|off the internet]]. The videos are still available on youtube.

==Addressing Liquid==

In the wee hours of [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|22 October 2009, Chris posted a video response]] to [[Addressing_Liquid#Liquid.27s_Video|CChanSonichuCWC]] that was possibly the largest concentration of blatant dishonesty Chris has ever compressed into a nine minute span. In a video that would leave even the most crooked politician stunned and agape, Chris had the chutzpah to rattle off a manifesto chock full of falsehoods, starting it off by declaring he is an honest man (if you've made it this far down the page, you know how ridiculous that is). He then went on to list all of his most [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_November_7th%2C_2007|positive]] qualities:

'''He is kind, good-hearted, and caring.''' He has cheated on his [[Sarah Jackson|e-sweethearts]] [[PandaHalo|numerous]] [[Ivy|times]], and the sole focus of all of his relationships is [[fuck quest|to get poon]]. He was completely indifferent to the deaths of PandaHalo, [[CWC_Shout_Out_to_Sarah_May|Sarah May]], and [[Ryan Cash]], giving selfish reasons as to how their deaths affected him. He called his [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|lone true fan of the comic]] a naïve dumbass. The ghost of his [[Aunt Corrina|dead aunt]] could also tell you how much he cared about her when it came time to bury her. Chris will outright [[Bruce_Johnson|smear other people]] to make himself look better. He humiliated his good friend [[Megan]] by uploading a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|drawing of himself fingerbanging her]] to the internet. His explanations as to why he did so included needing some sort of [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|release to keep from flipping out and raping her]]. Despite her clear objections to the picture and Chris claiming he still cared about her, he decided to go ahead and use the picture to unnecessarily fill out his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|cartoon porn site.]] He also hates [[Homos|homosexuals]] just because they're gay, and is a noted [[Niggos|racist]].

'''He cares about Kacey.''' Chris's entire pursuit of [[Kacey|her]] was a sham to [[For_Kacey_from_CWC|trick her]] and [[Kacey Phone Call|get into her pants]]. He pretended to be [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]] over the phone and on [[YouTube]] videos to get her to fall for him. When they met up, Chris could have tried to build a rapport with her and looked for a way to lay the foundation for a good emotional connection. But he was only interested in sex and spent much of the time staring at her goods, [[Father_Call|sniffing her, trying to cop a feel, and even tried to plant a surreptitious kiss on her]]. When it was all over, Chris posted a video showing that he was [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|back on top of the world]] despite having posted a [[CWC_is_sad|teary-eyed video just two days prior]]. He'd already forgotten about her, even though he told her she was, [[Kacey_and_Liquid_Call|"the sweetest kindest woman I've ever known in my life."]]

'''He is intelligent.''' Chris gets [[Blanca Weiss|swindled]] [[BlueSpike|by]] [[Ivy|trolls]] [[CChanSonichuCWC|practically]] [[Emily|non-stop]], and has even fallen for some of the [[Vanessa_Hudgens|stupidest ruses]] ever devised by humankind. He almost never deduces on his own that he's being tricked and [[White_knight|ignores warnings from others]] that he's being tricked. [[Chris and English|He can't write for shit]] or [[Hex_Bawx#The_hatred|do math]], and [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|he thinks it's possible for a completely heterosexual person to turn gay just by momentarily letting their guard down]]. He also thought the best way to get [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to stop talking about his delusional insanity was to [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|bombard them with further examples of his delusional insanity]].

'''He can be fun.''' Many videos showing him [[Chris's_Big_Night_Out|out and about]] (that is, when he can be bothered to leave his house) prove that he's a [[So_Need_A_Cute_Girl#Live_Performance|complete stiff]] that needs prodding to get him to converse, and he is an embarrassment to be around. He believes [[Sonichu_9|McDonald's]] is an awesome place to go on a date. [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|The best moments of what he called "a good life"]] were playing the lottery a few times, [[BlueSpike|a quick trip to Cleveland that he was hoodwinked into taking]], and to [[Chris's Big Night Out|have had a few drinks]] (with losing his virginity being the only thing on his list left to accomplish to complete himself). He also has almost [[Pixelblocks|no]] [[Lego|adult]] [[My Little Pony|interests]] that people his age can share in, and he [[Wendy's|scares]] and [[The_Game_Place#Sauces|intimidates]] little kids.

'''He is fairly good-looking.''' Come on, [[Christian Weston Chandler|just look at the guy]]. He commented he's good-looking with or without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]], ''BUT'' he needs them, a statement which suggests that he honestly doesn't believe he's as good looking with them. This is further evidenced by the fact that didn't wear them when he took his [[Love_quest#Promotional_Images|"sexy photos."]] He then gives the excuse that he needs the glasses because he's nearsighted, but nearsightedness can easily be corrected with contact lenses, or even a stylish pair of glasses that don't make him look like a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. But that would require spending a bit of his [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] on something that isn't related to [[PS3|video games]] and/or intended to [[sex toys|go in his ass]]. And on the subject of [[Chris and money|his spending habits]]...

'''He is generous and gives to his friends.''' Yes, Chris is so generous, that he once admitted that if he had the cure to [[autism]], a truly invaluable thing that would bring life-changing help to millions around the world, [[Pixelated PS3|that he'd throw it away just to get a PS3]]. In the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], after saying he'd share the prize money with his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]], he ended up spending the majority of it on himself. And he [[Chris_and_money#Credit_cards|stole money from his own parents]] so he could buy video game content for [[PSN|games he didn't even own]].

'''He can be cheerful and easy-going.''' He constantly started arguments with everyone at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over [[Pokémon]] games, and [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Sauces|almost got his ass kicked]] once because of them. He will resist doing or feeling anything that will be even a minor inconvenience upon him. He has also [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_English|publicly cried like a baby]] at [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|inappropriate times]] over issues that were either largely insignificant or the direct result of his own fuck-ups.

'''He is a good listener.''' Countless numbers of [[White knight|people have tried to talk sense into him]] to get him to not fall for [[trolls]], and to try to help him change his life for the better. He's resisted nearly every bit of advice he's received. [[Vivian Gee]] spent hours trying to give him sound advice about fixing his life, and he just [[Stress sigh|sighed]] and rejected her advice so much that she [[The Miscreants|turned against him]]. He [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_thinks_she_was_scarred_because_she_doesn.27t_know_much_about_sex|completely missed the point about why Megan was so upset]] with him about spreading embarrassing things about her online, thinking she was just mad because she didn't know much about sex.

'''He is empathetic/sympathetic.''' Maybe he just doesn't know what these words truly mean, but likely he knows and just doesn't care. If he was either of those things, he would understand why [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and various [[jerkops]] didn't want him soliciting himself in public, and why potential [[Sweetheart|sweethearts]] would be put off by his [[The Creepy Stare|creepy overly-forward advances]]. He might have shown true remorse over the death of Ryan Cash instead of being [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_December_28th%2C_2008|awestruck by the power of causing someone to kill themselves]] and telling his brother to [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|just get over it]]. And he certainly wouldn't have cheated on his aforementioned e-sweethearts. Two weeks after he declared how empathetic and sympathetic he is, he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|stunned YouTube by uploading a video]] intending to tease a blackmail photo of [[Gregg Mays]] by photoshopping it into a picture of the World Trade Center and illustrating the towers being attacked, saying that they were both weak and would go crumbling down. Backpedaling after the subsequent outrage, Chris removed that video and [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|replaced it with another video]] showing a birthday cake with two candles...the candles being the towers from the World Trade Center photoshop copy-pasted directly over the cake, except with the tops removed and set ablaze.

'''He is fairly popular and it's easy for him to make friends.''' Chris has never been popular. He was [[A_Week_With_Christian_Chandler|harrassed in school]], had to [[High_school#The_Seinor_Prom|take his mother to the prom]], and most of the people that he had regular positive contact with [[Kellie Andes|didn't like him nearly as much as he liked them]]. After getting out of school, most people that stayed in his life or entered it drifted away quickly or have been [[Megan Schroeder|driven away by his direct actions]]. He was widely disliked at The GAMe PLACe, and had to [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School|change schools]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|churches]] due to numerous conflicts. Since he was discovered by the interwebs, practically everyone that has entered his life--both online and off--has done so just to troll him, and the few that didn't mostly ended up becoming trolls. 99% of all the comments on his [[YouTube]] videos are negative, and he is bombarded with negative emails from trolls daily. He automatically considers all males to be [[JERKS|jerks]], and even [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|belittled someone]] who is considered to be the only true fan of his comic that he ever had.

Perhaps he is confusing being popular with being notorious, but given how [[Chris_and_Wikipedia|full of himself]] he his, that is unlikely.

'''He is good at talking to people, knows what to say to them, and shares his feelings because they are "good feelings most of the time."''' Any [[Mumble|chatlog or clip]] of him conversing with someone else makes it plainly obvious he cannot carry on a conversation and constantly tries to steer the focus on himself. When he strikes up conversation with potential sweethearts, he uses [[How to Talk to Girls|shitty tips from books]] and [[Sprung|cheesy pickup lines straight out of video games]]. He thinks there are [[Dating|strict rules to follow when being social]], and even thinks that making spontaneous human connections is [[Dating education|something to be taught in a classroom]]. He's [[Megan_E-mails#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|completely incapable of saying the right thing to someone based on his conversations with Megan]] and [[Chris_and_death#RocketFox.27s_Dad|people who have suffered hardships that don't involve Chris at all]]. And when he does share his feelings, he will blurt out things that are either [[Virgin_with_rage|wildly inappropriate]], or details about himself that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|no human being would ever want to know]].

'''He stays out of conflict.''' If anyone offers [[Vivian Gee|any criticism]], [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|rips off his rip-offs]], or [[CWC_Address_to_Unilever_About_AXE|suggests he's not entirely straight]], he gets [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|defensive]] and/or flies into [[Chris and anger|nuclear tard rage]]. He gets into it with [[trolls]] at every opportunity, will not back down from an argument until he's had the last word, and will even [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|hypocritically mock]] people rather than just letting things slide. He absolutely cannot let any slight against him go, proven in his [[Clyde_Cash|lengthy campaigns]] against [[CChanSonichuCWC|various trolls]]. This video is further proof to the point; after CChanSonichuCWC reappeared, Chris absolutely had to respond to Liquid twice though he said he wouldn't ever do so again.

'''He is reliable.''' Chris can't even put out his [[Sonichu_(comic)|shitty scribble of a comic]] at any kind of regular schedule, sometimes going months at a time without updating despite the fact that he has no job and rarely leaves his house. He stood up [[Emily]] when they first arranged their date in the mall. He couldn't even be counted on to do basic minimum wage work, having been fired from a [[Wendy's|fast-food restaurant]].

'''He tries to control his temper.''' [[NO_D***_WAY%2C_IMPOSTOR!!!|Please]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|feast]] [[I'LL_BREAK_YOU_DEAD|your]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|eyes]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|on]] [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!|these]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|articles]], [[Chris_Loses_It|and ask]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|yourself]] [[Adam_Stackhouse#Chris.27s_opinion_of_Adam|just]] [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_contest#Aftermath|how]] [[B-Manajerk|in]] [[10112009|control]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_4th%2C_2009|of]] [[Youtube_Finale|his]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|temper]] [[ED|he]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_8th%2C_2009|is]].

'''He can keep secrets.''' Ever since he [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|came in contact with ED]], he has continuously uploaded [[14_Branchland_Court|sensitive personal details about himself]], [[Tour_of_Chris's_House|his family]], and [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|his friends]]. He keeps doing so despite the fact that [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|trolls are constantly using this information to torment him and people close to him]]. He told the internet that his mom has [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2009|problems with her ass.]] He will also [[PandaHalo|give information freely to people posing as trolls]], because as long as someone strings together a few nice things to say about him, [[Blanca Weiss|he will immediately trust that person without question]].

==Addressing Liquid (Counterpoint)==

In the interest of fairness, here's a complete list of the qualities he listed about himself that weren't utter horseshit.

'''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|He]] [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|is]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|not]] [[Dirty_crapped_briefs|shy]].'''

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2010-01-04T21:42:03Z

V3N0M1300: /* Chris's lies */

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing so his lies have the opposite effect (ex. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (ex. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg | rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie", a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[Autism|autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[Honest]].

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be related to [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact he willingly consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble_2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*Chris not only lied to Miyamoto, but he also lied to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]. In order to make a case for his distinguished character, Chris told him that he spent three-quarters of his [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] prize money on his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]]. In reality, he spent 45% of it on them, and kept the rest. He even listed everything he bought with it--both what he bought for them and for himself--making it quite plain to see he was lying about his generosity.

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he was already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris_dispels_videogame_rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, as of this writing (5 October 2009) Sega has not officially announced what the game is, and major video game review sites like IGN and Gamespot still haven't received any official word from Sega. While it's pretty obvious that it is some sort of Sonic game, the idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref>, yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube.<ref>[[Blanca]]</ref> Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]],<ref>[[Robert Simmons V#Church visit]]</ref> Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while he left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*He claimed in [[The Sonichu Chronicles|his slideshow]] for [[Miyamoto]] that "Sonichu" was not a portmanteau of "Sonic" and "Pikachu"--he was playing off Sonic's Japanese name, "Sonikku." Anyone with a working brain stem can see through this particular untruth.

*In an email<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website".

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.

*He has made [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|occasional]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|claims]] that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|several]] [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|instances]] [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|of]] [[It's UGH!|him]] [[CWC "Boyfriend"|showing]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|otherwise]].

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an IQ of over 300<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref>. For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later he claimed to have an IQ of 150<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>.

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics. [[Megan Schroeder|Does]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|he]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|think]] [[ScotPalazzo|he's]] [[Wes Iseli|fooling]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|anybody?]]}}

*Pretended to be famed troll "Bill Riley" in an [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC Chat]] in a miserably failed attempt to learn what the trolls had planned for him. Includes a bizarre moment where he tries to convince the trolls that they should force [[Chris|"That Retard"]] to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*In a [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself|Skype chat]] with [[Sarah May]], she agreed to tell Chris how to get his Yahoo! accounts back if Chris would draw [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_draws_Rosechu_with_a_dick|"any female Rosechu with a penis, either masturbating, or penetrating a male Sonichu with it."]] Despite the clarity of the request, Chris tried to weasel out of it by drawing [[Rosechu]] with a strap-on dildo instead of an actual [[duck|penis]]. When Sarah May called him on it, he first lied that it was a [[pickle|dick]], and then lied that it was a "mistake in drawing," even though it's plainly obvious that the strap-on was intentionally drawn. The strap-on was not only rendered in detail, but Chris even colored around it instead of through it, [[fail|making it stand out even more]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] [[Captain's Log]] entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] [[That Is My House|off the internet]]. The videos are still available on youtube.

==Addressing Liquid==

In the wee hours of [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|22 October 2009, Chris posted a video response]] to [[Addressing_Liquid#Liquid.27s_Video|CChanSonichuCWC]] that was possibly the largest concentration of blatant dishonesty Chris has ever compressed into a nine minute span. In a video that would leave even the most crooked politician stunned and agape, Chris had the chutzpah to rattle off a manifesto chock full of falsehoods, starting it off by declaring he is an honest man (if you've made it this far down the page, you know how ridiculous that is). He then went on to list all of his most [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_November_7th%2C_2007|positive]] qualities:

'''He is kind, good-hearted, and caring.''' He has cheated on his [[Sarah Jackson|e-sweethearts]] [[PandaHalo|numerous]] [[Ivy|times]], and the sole focus of all of his relationships is [[fuck quest|to get poon]]. He was completely indifferent to the deaths of PandaHalo, [[CWC_Shout_Out_to_Sarah_May|Sarah May]], and [[Ryan Cash]], giving selfish reasons as to how their deaths affected him. He called his [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|lone true fan of the comic]] a naïve dumbass. The ghost of his [[Aunt Corrina|dead aunt]] could also tell you how much he cared about her when it came time to bury her. Chris will outright [[Bruce_Johnson|smear other people]] to make himself look better. He humiliated his good friend [[Megan]] by uploading a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|drawing of himself fingerbanging her]] to the internet. His explanations as to why he did so included needing some sort of [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|release to keep from flipping out and raping her]]. Despite her clear objections to the picture and Chris claiming he still cared about her, he decided to go ahead and use the picture to unnecessarily fill out his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|cartoon porn site.]] He also hates [[Homos|homosexuals]] just because they're gay, and is a noted [[Niggos|racist]].

'''He cares about Kacey.''' Chris's entire pursuit of [[Kacey|her]] was a sham to [[For_Kacey_from_CWC|trick her]] and [[Kacey Phone Call|get into her pants]]. He pretended to be [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]] over the phone and on [[YouTube]] videos to get her to fall for him. When they met up, Chris could have tried to build a rapport with her and looked for a way to lay the foundation for a good emotional connection. But he was only interested in sex and spent much of the time staring at her goods, [[Father_Call|sniffing her, trying to cop a feel, and even tried to plant a surreptitious kiss on her]]. When it was all over, Chris posted a video showing that he was [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|back on top of the world]] despite having posted a [[CWC_is_sad|teary-eyed video just two days prior]]. He'd already forgotten about her, even though he told her she was, [[Kacey_and_Liquid_Call|"the sweetest kindest woman I've ever known in my life."]]

'''He is intelligent.''' Chris gets [[Blanca Weiss|swindled]] [[BlueSpike|by]] [[Ivy|trolls]] [[CChanSonichuCWC|practically]] [[Emily|non-stop]], and has even fallen for some of the [[Vanessa_Hudgens|stupidest ruses]] ever devised by humankind. He almost never deduces on his own that he's being tricked and [[White_knight|ignores warnings from others]] that he's being tricked. [[Chris and English|He can't write for shit]] or [[Hex_Bawx#The_hatred|do math]], and [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|he thinks it's possible for a completely heterosexual person to turn gay just by momentarily letting their guard down]]. He also thought the best way to get [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to stop talking about his delusional insanity was to [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|bombard them with further examples of his delusional insanity]].

'''He can be fun.''' Many videos showing him [[Chris's_Big_Night_Out|out and about]] (that is, when he can be bothered to leave his house) prove that he's a [[So_Need_A_Cute_Girl#Live_Performance|complete stiff]] that needs prodding to get him to converse, and he is an embarrassment to be around. He believes [[Sonichu_9|McDonald's]] is an awesome place to go on a date. [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|The best moments of what he called "a good life"]] were playing the lottery a few times, [[BlueSpike|a quick trip to Cleveland that he was hoodwinked into taking]], and to [[Chris's Big Night Out|have had a few drinks]] (with losing his virginity being the only thing on his list left to accomplish to complete himself). He also has almost [[Pixelblocks|no]] [[Lego|adult]] [[My Little Pony|interests]] that people his age can share in, and he [[Wendy's|scares]] and [[The_Game_Place#Sauces|intimidates]] little kids.

'''He is fairly good-looking.''' Come on, [[Christian Weston Chandler|just look at the guy]]. He commented he's good-looking with or without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]], ''BUT'' he needs them, a statement which suggests that he honestly doesn't believe he's as good looking with them. This is further evidenced by the fact that didn't wear them when he took his [[Love_quest#Promotional_Images|"sexy photos."]] He then gives the excuse that he needs the glasses because he's nearsighted, but nearsightedness can easily be corrected with contact lenses, or even a stylish pair of glasses that don't make him look like a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. But that would require spending a bit of his [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] on something that isn't related to [[PS3|video games]] and/or intended to [[sex toys|go in his ass]]. And on the subject of [[Chris and money|his spending habits]]...

'''He is generous and gives to his friends.''' Yes, Chris is so generous, that he once admitted that if he had the cure to [[autism]], a truly invaluable thing that would bring life-changing help to millions around the world, [[Pixelated PS3|that he'd throw it away just to get a PS3]]. In the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], after saying he'd share the prize money with his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]], he ended up spending the majority of it on himself. And he [[Chris_and_money#Credit_cards|stole money from his own parents]] so he could buy video game content for [[PSN|games he didn't even own]].

'''He can be cheerful and easy-going.''' He constantly started arguments with everyone at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over [[Pokémon]] games, and [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Sauces|almost got his ass kicked]] once because of them. He will resist doing or feeling anything that will be even a minor inconvenience upon him. He has also [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_English|publicly cried like a baby]] at [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|inappropriate times]] over issues that were either largely insignificant or the direct result of his own fuck-ups.

'''He is a good listener.''' Countless numbers of [[White knight|people have tried to talk sense into him]] to get him to not fall for [[trolls]], and to try to help him change his life for the better. He's resisted nearly every bit of advice he's received. [[Vivian Gee]] spent hours trying to give him sound advice about fixing his life, and he just [[Stress sigh|sighed]] and rejected her advice so much that she [[The Miscreants|turned against him]]. He [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_thinks_she_was_scarred_because_she_doesn.27t_know_much_about_sex|completely missed the point about why Megan was so upset]] with him about spreading embarrassing things about her online, thinking she was just mad because she didn't know much about sex.

'''He is empathetic/sympathetic.''' Maybe he just doesn't know what these words truly mean, but likely he knows and just doesn't care. If he was either of those things, he would understand why [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and various [[jerkops]] didn't want him soliciting himself in public, and why potential [[Sweetheart|sweethearts]] would be put off by his [[The Creepy Stare|creepy overly-forward advances]]. He might have shown true remorse over the death of Ryan Cash instead of being [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_December_28th%2C_2008|awestruck by the power of causing someone to kill themselves]] and telling his brother to [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|just get over it]]. And he certainly wouldn't have cheated on his aforementioned e-sweethearts. Two weeks after he declared how empathetic and sympathetic he is, he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|stunned YouTube by uploading a video]] intending to tease a blackmail photo of [[Gregg Mays]] by photoshopping it into a picture of the World Trade Center and illustrating the towers being attacked, saying that they were both weak and would go crumbling down. Backpedaling after the subsequent outrage, Chris removed that video and [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|replaced it with another video]] showing a birthday cake with two candles...the candles being the towers from the World Trade Center photoshop copy-pasted directly over the cake, except with the tops removed and set ablaze.

'''He is fairly popular and it's easy for him to make friends.''' Chris has never been popular. He was [[A_Week_With_Christian_Chandler|harrassed in school]], had to [[High_school#The_Seinor_Prom|take his mother to the prom]], and most of the people that he had regular positive contact with [[Kellie Andes|didn't like him nearly as much as he liked them]]. After getting out of school, most people that stayed in his life or entered it drifted away quickly or have been [[Megan Schroeder|driven away by his direct actions]]. He was widely disliked at The GAMe PLACe, and had to [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School|change schools]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|churches]] due to numerous conflicts. Since he was discovered by the interwebs, practically everyone that has entered his life--both online and off--has done so just to troll him, and the few that didn't mostly ended up becoming trolls. 99% of all the comments on his [[YouTube]] videos are negative, and he is bombarded with negative emails from trolls daily. He automatically considers all males to be [[JERKS|jerks]], and even [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|belittled someone]] who is considered to be the only true fan of his comic that he ever had.

Perhaps he is confusing being popular with being notorious, but given how [[Chris_and_Wikipedia|full of himself]] he his, that is unlikely.

'''He is good at talking to people, knows what to say to them, and shares his feelings because they are "good feelings most of the time."''' Any [[Mumble|chatlog or clip]] of him conversing with someone else makes it plainly obvious he cannot carry on a conversation and constantly tries to steer the focus on himself. When he strikes up conversation with potential sweethearts, he uses [[How to Talk to Girls|shitty tips from books]] and [[Sprung|cheesy pickup lines straight out of video games]]. He thinks there are [[Dating|strict rules to follow when being social]], and even thinks that making spontaneous human connections is [[Dating education|something to be taught in a classroom]]. He's [[Megan_E-mails#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|completely incapable of saying the right thing to someone based on his conversations with Megan]] and [[Chris_and_death#RocketFox.27s_Dad|people who have suffered hardships that don't involve Chris at all]]. And when he does share his feelings, he will blurt out things that are either [[Virgin_with_rage|wildly inappropriate]], or details about himself that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|no human being would ever want to know]].

'''He stays out of conflict.''' If anyone offers [[Vivian Gee|any criticism]], [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|rips off his rip-offs]], or [[CWC_Address_to_Unilever_About_AXE|suggests he's not entirely straight]], he gets [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|defensive]] and/or flies into [[Chris and anger|nuclear tard rage]]. He gets into it with [[trolls]] at every opportunity, will not back down from an argument until he's had the last word, and will even [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|hypocritically mock]] people rather than just letting things slide. He absolutely cannot let any slight against him go, proven in his [[Clyde_Cash|lengthy campaigns]] against [[CChanSonichuCWC|various trolls]]. This video is further proof to the point; after CChanSonichuCWC reappeared, Chris absolutely had to respond to Liquid twice though he said he wouldn't ever do so again.

'''He is reliable.''' Chris can't even put out his [[Sonichu_(comic)|shitty scribble of a comic]] at any kind of regular schedule, sometimes going months at a time without updating despite the fact that he has no job and rarely leaves his house. He stood up [[Emily]] when they first arranged their date in the mall. He couldn't even be counted on to do basic minimum wage work, having been fired from a [[Wendy's|fast-food restaurant]].

'''He tries to control his temper.''' [[NO_D***_WAY%2C_IMPOSTOR!!!|Please]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|feast]] [[I'LL_BREAK_YOU_DEAD|your]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|eyes]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|on]] [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!|these]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|articles]], [[Chris_Loses_It|and ask]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|yourself]] [[Adam_Stackhouse#Chris.27s_opinion_of_Adam|just]] [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_contest#Aftermath|how]] [[B-Manajerk|in]] [[10112009|control]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_4th%2C_2009|of]] [[Youtube_Finale|his]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|temper]] [[ED|he]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_8th%2C_2009|is]].

'''He can keep secrets.''' Ever since he [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|came in contact with ED]], he has continuously uploaded [[14_Branchland_Court|sensitive personal details about himself]], [[Tour_of_Chris's_House|his family]], and [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|his friends]]. He keeps doing so despite the fact that [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|trolls are constantly using this information to torment him and people close to him]]. He told the internet that his mom has [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2009|problems with her ass.]] He will also [[PandaHalo|give information freely to people posing as trolls]], because as long as someone strings together a few nice things to say about him, [[Blanca Weiss|he will immediately trust that person without question]].

==Addressing Liquid (Counterpoint)==

In the interest of fairness, here's a complete list of the qualities he listed about himself that weren't utter horseshit.

'''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|He]] [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|is]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|not]] [[Dirty_crapped_briefs|shy]].'''

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2010-01-04T21:39:45Z

V3N0M1300: /* Chris's lies */

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing so his lies have the opposite effect (ex. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (ex. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg | rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie", a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[Autism|autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[Honest]].

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be related to [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact he willingly consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble_2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*Chris not only lied to Miyamoto, but he also lied to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]. In order to make a case for his distinguished character, Chris told him that he spent three-quarters of his [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] prize money on his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]]. In reality, he spent 45% of it on them, and kept the rest. He even listed everything he bought with it--both what he bought for them and for himself--making it quite plain to see he was lying about his generosity.

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he was already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris_dispels_videogame_rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, as of this writing (5 October 2009) Sega has not officially announced what the game is, and major video game review sites like IGN and Gamespot still haven't received any official word from Sega. While it's pretty obvious that it is some sort of Sonic game, the idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref>, yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube.<ref>[[Blanca]]</ref> Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]],<ref>[[Robert Simmons V#Church visit]]</ref> Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while he left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*He claimed in [[The Sonichu Chronicles|his slideshow]] for [[Miyamoto]] that "Sonichu" was not a portmanteau of "Sonic" and "Pikachu"--he was playing off Sonic's Japanese name, "Sonikku." Anyone with a working brain stem can see through this particular untruth.

*In an email<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website".

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.

*He has made [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|occasional]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|claims]] that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|several]] [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|instances]] [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|of]] [[It's UGH!|him]] [[CWC "Boyfriend"|showing]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|otherwise]].

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an IQ of over 300<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref>. For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later he claimed to have an IQ of 150<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>.

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics. [[Megan Schroeder|Does]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|he]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|think]] [[ScotPalazzo|he's]] [[Wes Iseli|fooling]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|anybody?]]}}

*Pretended to be famed troll "Bill Riley" in an [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC Chat]] in a miserably failed attempt to learn what the trolls had planned for him. Includes a bizarre moment where he tries to convince the trolls that they should force [[Chris|"That Retard"]] to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*In a [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself|Skype chat]] with [[Sarah May]], she agreed to tell Chris how to get his Yahoo! accounts back if Chris would draw [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_draws_Rosechu_with_a_dick|"any female Rosechu with a penis, either masturbating, or penetrating a male Sonichu with it."]] Despite the clarity of the request, Chris tried to weasel out of it by drawing [[Rosechu]] with a strap-on dildo instead of an actual [[duck|penis]]. When Sarah May called him on it, he first lied that it was a [[pickle|dick]], and then lied that it was a "mistake in drawing," even though it's plainly obvious that the strap-on was intentionally drawn. The strap-on was not only rendered in detail, but Chris even colored around it instead of through it, [[fail|making it stand out even more]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] [[Captain's Log]] entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland court|Chandler house]] [[That Is My House|off the internet]]. The videos are still available on youtube.

==Addressing Liquid==

In the wee hours of [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|22 October 2009, Chris posted a video response]] to [[Addressing_Liquid#Liquid.27s_Video|CChanSonichuCWC]] that was possibly the largest concentration of blatant dishonesty Chris has ever compressed into a nine minute span. In a video that would leave even the most crooked politician stunned and agape, Chris had the chutzpah to rattle off a manifesto chock full of falsehoods, starting it off by declaring he is an honest man (if you've made it this far down the page, you know how ridiculous that is). He then went on to list all of his most [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_November_7th%2C_2007|positive]] qualities:

'''He is kind, good-hearted, and caring.''' He has cheated on his [[Sarah Jackson|e-sweethearts]] [[PandaHalo|numerous]] [[Ivy|times]], and the sole focus of all of his relationships is [[fuck quest|to get poon]]. He was completely indifferent to the deaths of PandaHalo, [[CWC_Shout_Out_to_Sarah_May|Sarah May]], and [[Ryan Cash]], giving selfish reasons as to how their deaths affected him. He called his [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|lone true fan of the comic]] a naïve dumbass. The ghost of his [[Aunt Corrina|dead aunt]] could also tell you how much he cared about her when it came time to bury her. Chris will outright [[Bruce_Johnson|smear other people]] to make himself look better. He humiliated his good friend [[Megan]] by uploading a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|drawing of himself fingerbanging her]] to the internet. His explanations as to why he did so included needing some sort of [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|release to keep from flipping out and raping her]]. Despite her clear objections to the picture and Chris claiming he still cared about her, he decided to go ahead and use the picture to unnecessarily fill out his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|cartoon porn site.]] He also hates [[Homos|homosexuals]] just because they're gay, and is a noted [[Niggos|racist]].

'''He cares about Kacey.''' Chris's entire pursuit of [[Kacey|her]] was a sham to [[For_Kacey_from_CWC|trick her]] and [[Kacey Phone Call|get into her pants]]. He pretended to be [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]] over the phone and on [[YouTube]] videos to get her to fall for him. When they met up, Chris could have tried to build a rapport with her and looked for a way to lay the foundation for a good emotional connection. But he was only interested in sex and spent much of the time staring at her goods, [[Father_Call|sniffing her, trying to cop a feel, and even tried to plant a surreptitious kiss on her]]. When it was all over, Chris posted a video showing that he was [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|back on top of the world]] despite having posted a [[CWC_is_sad|teary-eyed video just two days prior]]. He'd already forgotten about her, even though he told her she was, [[Kacey_and_Liquid_Call|"the sweetest kindest woman I've ever known in my life."]]

'''He is intelligent.''' Chris gets [[Blanca Weiss|swindled]] [[BlueSpike|by]] [[Ivy|trolls]] [[CChanSonichuCWC|practically]] [[Emily|non-stop]], and has even fallen for some of the [[Vanessa_Hudgens|stupidest ruses]] ever devised by humankind. He almost never deduces on his own that he's being tricked and [[White_knight|ignores warnings from others]] that he's being tricked. [[Chris and English|He can't write for shit]] or [[Hex_Bawx#The_hatred|do math]], and [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|he thinks it's possible for a completely heterosexual person to turn gay just by momentarily letting their guard down]]. He also thought the best way to get [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to stop talking about his delusional insanity was to [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|bombard them with further examples of his delusional insanity]].

'''He can be fun.''' Many videos showing him [[Chris's_Big_Night_Out|out and about]] (that is, when he can be bothered to leave his house) prove that he's a [[So_Need_A_Cute_Girl#Live_Performance|complete stiff]] that needs prodding to get him to converse, and he is an embarrassment to be around. He believes [[Sonichu_9|McDonald's]] is an awesome place to go on a date. [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|The best moments of what he called "a good life"]] were playing the lottery a few times, [[BlueSpike|a quick trip to Cleveland that he was hoodwinked into taking]], and to [[Chris's Big Night Out|have had a few drinks]] (with losing his virginity being the only thing on his list left to accomplish to complete himself). He also has almost [[Pixelblocks|no]] [[Lego|adult]] [[My Little Pony|interests]] that people his age can share in, and he [[Wendy's|scares]] and [[The_Game_Place#Sauces|intimidates]] little kids.

'''He is fairly good-looking.''' Come on, [[Christian Weston Chandler|just look at the guy]]. He commented he's good-looking with or without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]], ''BUT'' he needs them, a statement which suggests that he honestly doesn't believe he's as good looking with them. This is further evidenced by the fact that didn't wear them when he took his [[Love_quest#Promotional_Images|"sexy photos."]] He then gives the excuse that he needs the glasses because he's nearsighted, but nearsightedness can easily be corrected with contact lenses, or even a stylish pair of glasses that don't make him look like a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. But that would require spending a bit of his [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] on something that isn't related to [[PS3|video games]] and/or intended to [[sex toys|go in his ass]]. And on the subject of [[Chris and money|his spending habits]]...

'''He is generous and gives to his friends.''' Yes, Chris is so generous, that he once admitted that if he had the cure to [[autism]], a truly invaluable thing that would bring life-changing help to millions around the world, [[Pixelated PS3|that he'd throw it away just to get a PS3]]. In the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], after saying he'd share the prize money with his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]], he ended up spending the majority of it on himself. And he [[Chris_and_money#Credit_cards|stole money from his own parents]] so he could buy video game content for [[PSN|games he didn't even own]].

'''He can be cheerful and easy-going.''' He constantly started arguments with everyone at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over [[Pokémon]] games, and [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Sauces|almost got his ass kicked]] once because of them. He will resist doing or feeling anything that will be even a minor inconvenience upon him. He has also [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_English|publicly cried like a baby]] at [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|inappropriate times]] over issues that were either largely insignificant or the direct result of his own fuck-ups.

'''He is a good listener.''' Countless numbers of [[White knight|people have tried to talk sense into him]] to get him to not fall for [[trolls]], and to try to help him change his life for the better. He's resisted nearly every bit of advice he's received. [[Vivian Gee]] spent hours trying to give him sound advice about fixing his life, and he just [[Stress sigh|sighed]] and rejected her advice so much that she [[The Miscreants|turned against him]]. He [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_thinks_she_was_scarred_because_she_doesn.27t_know_much_about_sex|completely missed the point about why Megan was so upset]] with him about spreading embarrassing things about her online, thinking she was just mad because she didn't know much about sex.

'''He is empathetic/sympathetic.''' Maybe he just doesn't know what these words truly mean, but likely he knows and just doesn't care. If he was either of those things, he would understand why [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and various [[jerkops]] didn't want him soliciting himself in public, and why potential [[Sweetheart|sweethearts]] would be put off by his [[The Creepy Stare|creepy overly-forward advances]]. He might have shown true remorse over the death of Ryan Cash instead of being [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_December_28th%2C_2008|awestruck by the power of causing someone to kill themselves]] and telling his brother to [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|just get over it]]. And he certainly wouldn't have cheated on his aforementioned e-sweethearts. Two weeks after he declared how empathetic and sympathetic he is, he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|stunned YouTube by uploading a video]] intending to tease a blackmail photo of [[Gregg Mays]] by photoshopping it into a picture of the World Trade Center and illustrating the towers being attacked, saying that they were both weak and would go crumbling down. Backpedaling after the subsequent outrage, Chris removed that video and [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|replaced it with another video]] showing a birthday cake with two candles...the candles being the towers from the World Trade Center photoshop copy-pasted directly over the cake, except with the tops removed and set ablaze.

'''He is fairly popular and it's easy for him to make friends.''' Chris has never been popular. He was [[A_Week_With_Christian_Chandler|harrassed in school]], had to [[High_school#The_Seinor_Prom|take his mother to the prom]], and most of the people that he had regular positive contact with [[Kellie Andes|didn't like him nearly as much as he liked them]]. After getting out of school, most people that stayed in his life or entered it drifted away quickly or have been [[Megan Schroeder|driven away by his direct actions]]. He was widely disliked at The GAMe PLACe, and had to [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School|change schools]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|churches]] due to numerous conflicts. Since he was discovered by the interwebs, practically everyone that has entered his life--both online and off--has done so just to troll him, and the few that didn't mostly ended up becoming trolls. 99% of all the comments on his [[YouTube]] videos are negative, and he is bombarded with negative emails from trolls daily. He automatically considers all males to be [[JERKS|jerks]], and even [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|belittled someone]] who is considered to be the only true fan of his comic that he ever had.

Perhaps he is confusing being popular with being notorious, but given how [[Chris_and_Wikipedia|full of himself]] he his, that is unlikely.

'''He is good at talking to people, knows what to say to them, and shares his feelings because they are "good feelings most of the time."''' Any [[Mumble|chatlog or clip]] of him conversing with someone else makes it plainly obvious he cannot carry on a conversation and constantly tries to steer the focus on himself. When he strikes up conversation with potential sweethearts, he uses [[How to Talk to Girls|shitty tips from books]] and [[Sprung|cheesy pickup lines straight out of video games]]. He thinks there are [[Dating|strict rules to follow when being social]], and even thinks that making spontaneous human connections is [[Dating education|something to be taught in a classroom]]. He's [[Megan_E-mails#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|completely incapable of saying the right thing to someone based on his conversations with Megan]] and [[Chris_and_death#RocketFox.27s_Dad|people who have suffered hardships that don't involve Chris at all]]. And when he does share his feelings, he will blurt out things that are either [[Virgin_with_rage|wildly inappropriate]], or details about himself that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|no human being would ever want to know]].

'''He stays out of conflict.''' If anyone offers [[Vivian Gee|any criticism]], [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|rips off his rip-offs]], or [[CWC_Address_to_Unilever_About_AXE|suggests he's not entirely straight]], he gets [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|defensive]] and/or flies into [[Chris and anger|nuclear tard rage]]. He gets into it with [[trolls]] at every opportunity, will not back down from an argument until he's had the last word, and will even [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|hypocritically mock]] people rather than just letting things slide. He absolutely cannot let any slight against him go, proven in his [[Clyde_Cash|lengthy campaigns]] against [[CChanSonichuCWC|various trolls]]. This video is further proof to the point; after CChanSonichuCWC reappeared, Chris absolutely had to respond to Liquid twice though he said he wouldn't ever do so again.

'''He is reliable.''' Chris can't even put out his [[Sonichu_(comic)|shitty scribble of a comic]] at any kind of regular schedule, sometimes going months at a time without updating despite the fact that he has no job and rarely leaves his house. He stood up [[Emily]] when they first arranged their date in the mall. He couldn't even be counted on to do basic minimum wage work, having been fired from a [[Wendy's|fast-food restaurant]].

'''He tries to control his temper.''' [[NO_D***_WAY%2C_IMPOSTOR!!!|Please]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|feast]] [[I'LL_BREAK_YOU_DEAD|your]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|eyes]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|on]] [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!|these]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|articles]], [[Chris_Loses_It|and ask]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|yourself]] [[Adam_Stackhouse#Chris.27s_opinion_of_Adam|just]] [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_contest#Aftermath|how]] [[B-Manajerk|in]] [[10112009|control]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_4th%2C_2009|of]] [[Youtube_Finale|his]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|temper]] [[ED|he]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_8th%2C_2009|is]].

'''He can keep secrets.''' Ever since he [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|came in contact with ED]], he has continuously uploaded [[14_Branchland_Court|sensitive personal details about himself]], [[Tour_of_Chris's_House|his family]], and [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|his friends]]. He keeps doing so despite the fact that [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|trolls are constantly using this information to torment him and people close to him]]. He told the internet that his mom has [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2009|problems with her ass.]] He will also [[PandaHalo|give information freely to people posing as trolls]], because as long as someone strings together a few nice things to say about him, [[Blanca Weiss|he will immediately trust that person without question]].

==Addressing Liquid (Counterpoint)==

In the interest of fairness, here's a complete list of the qualities he listed about himself that weren't utter horseshit.

'''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|He]] [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|is]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|not]] [[Dirty_crapped_briefs|shy]].'''

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2010-01-04T21:38:30Z

V3N0M1300: /* Chris's lies */

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing so his lies have the opposite effect (ex. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (ex. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg | rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie", a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[Autism|autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[Honest]].

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be related to [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact he willingly consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble_2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*Chris not only lied to Miyamoto, but he also lied to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]. In order to make a case for his distinguished character, Chris told him that he spent three-quarters of his [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] prize money on his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]]. In reality, he spent 45% of it on them, and kept the rest. He even listed everything he bought with it--both what he bought for them and for himself--making it quite plain to see he was lying about his generosity.

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he was already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris_dispels_videogame_rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, as of this writing (5 October 2009) Sega has not officially announced what the game is, and major video game review sites like IGN and Gamespot still haven't received any official word from Sega. While it's pretty obvious that it is some sort of Sonic game, the idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref>, yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube.<ref>[[Blanca]]</ref> Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]],<ref>[[Robert Simmons V#Church visit]]</ref> Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while he left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*He claimed in [[The Sonichu Chronicles|his slideshow]] for [[Miyamoto]] that "Sonichu" was not a portmanteau of "Sonic" and "Pikachu"--he was playing off Sonic's Japanese name, "Sonikku." Anyone with a working brain stem can see through this particular untruth.

*In an email<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website".

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.

*He has made [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|occasional]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|claims]] that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|several]] [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|instances]] [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|of]] [[It's UGH!|him]] [[CWC "Boyfriend"|showing]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|otherwise]].

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an IQ of over 300<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref>. For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later he claimed to have an IQ of 150<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>.

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics. [[Megan Schroeder|Does]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|he]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|think]] [[ScotPalazzo|he's]] [[Wes Iseli|fooling]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|anybody?]]}}

*Pretended to be famed troll "Bill Riley" in an [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC Chat]] in a miserably failed attempt to learn what the trolls had planned for him. Includes a bizarre moment where he tries to convince the trolls that they should force [[Chris|"That Retard"]] to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*In a [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself|Skype chat]] with [[Sarah May]], she agreed to tell Chris how to get his Yahoo! accounts back if Chris would draw [[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_draws_Rosechu_with_a_dick|"any female Rosechu with a penis, either masturbating, or penetrating a male Sonichu with it."]] Despite the clarity of the request, Chris tried to weasel out of it by drawing [[Rosechu]] with a strap-on dildo instead of an actual [[duck|penis]]. When Sarah May called him on it, he first lied that it was a [[pickle|dick]], and then lied that it was a "mistake in drawing," even though it's plainly obvious that the strap-on was intentionally drawn. The strap-on was not only rendered in detail, but Chris even colored around it instead of through it, [[fail|making it stand out even more]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] [[Captain's Log]] entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[bob chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Braqnchland court|Chandler house]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|off the internet]]. The videos are still available on youtube.

==Addressing Liquid==

In the wee hours of [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|22 October 2009, Chris posted a video response]] to [[Addressing_Liquid#Liquid.27s_Video|CChanSonichuCWC]] that was possibly the largest concentration of blatant dishonesty Chris has ever compressed into a nine minute span. In a video that would leave even the most crooked politician stunned and agape, Chris had the chutzpah to rattle off a manifesto chock full of falsehoods, starting it off by declaring he is an honest man (if you've made it this far down the page, you know how ridiculous that is). He then went on to list all of his most [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_November_7th%2C_2007|positive]] qualities:

'''He is kind, good-hearted, and caring.''' He has cheated on his [[Sarah Jackson|e-sweethearts]] [[PandaHalo|numerous]] [[Ivy|times]], and the sole focus of all of his relationships is [[fuck quest|to get poon]]. He was completely indifferent to the deaths of PandaHalo, [[CWC_Shout_Out_to_Sarah_May|Sarah May]], and [[Ryan Cash]], giving selfish reasons as to how their deaths affected him. He called his [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|lone true fan of the comic]] a naïve dumbass. The ghost of his [[Aunt Corrina|dead aunt]] could also tell you how much he cared about her when it came time to bury her. Chris will outright [[Bruce_Johnson|smear other people]] to make himself look better. He humiliated his good friend [[Megan]] by uploading a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|drawing of himself fingerbanging her]] to the internet. His explanations as to why he did so included needing some sort of [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|release to keep from flipping out and raping her]]. Despite her clear objections to the picture and Chris claiming he still cared about her, he decided to go ahead and use the picture to unnecessarily fill out his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|cartoon porn site.]] He also hates [[Homos|homosexuals]] just because they're gay, and is a noted [[Niggos|racist]].

'''He cares about Kacey.''' Chris's entire pursuit of [[Kacey|her]] was a sham to [[For_Kacey_from_CWC|trick her]] and [[Kacey Phone Call|get into her pants]]. He pretended to be [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]] over the phone and on [[YouTube]] videos to get her to fall for him. When they met up, Chris could have tried to build a rapport with her and looked for a way to lay the foundation for a good emotional connection. But he was only interested in sex and spent much of the time staring at her goods, [[Father_Call|sniffing her, trying to cop a feel, and even tried to plant a surreptitious kiss on her]]. When it was all over, Chris posted a video showing that he was [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|back on top of the world]] despite having posted a [[CWC_is_sad|teary-eyed video just two days prior]]. He'd already forgotten about her, even though he told her she was, [[Kacey_and_Liquid_Call|"the sweetest kindest woman I've ever known in my life."]]

'''He is intelligent.''' Chris gets [[Blanca Weiss|swindled]] [[BlueSpike|by]] [[Ivy|trolls]] [[CChanSonichuCWC|practically]] [[Emily|non-stop]], and has even fallen for some of the [[Vanessa_Hudgens|stupidest ruses]] ever devised by humankind. He almost never deduces on his own that he's being tricked and [[White_knight|ignores warnings from others]] that he's being tricked. [[Chris and English|He can't write for shit]] or [[Hex_Bawx#The_hatred|do math]], and [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|he thinks it's possible for a completely heterosexual person to turn gay just by momentarily letting their guard down]]. He also thought the best way to get [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to stop talking about his delusional insanity was to [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|bombard them with further examples of his delusional insanity]].

'''He can be fun.''' Many videos showing him [[Chris's_Big_Night_Out|out and about]] (that is, when he can be bothered to leave his house) prove that he's a [[So_Need_A_Cute_Girl#Live_Performance|complete stiff]] that needs prodding to get him to converse, and he is an embarrassment to be around. He believes [[Sonichu_9|McDonald's]] is an awesome place to go on a date. [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|The best moments of what he called "a good life"]] were playing the lottery a few times, [[BlueSpike|a quick trip to Cleveland that he was hoodwinked into taking]], and to [[Chris's Big Night Out|have had a few drinks]] (with losing his virginity being the only thing on his list left to accomplish to complete himself). He also has almost [[Pixelblocks|no]] [[Lego|adult]] [[My Little Pony|interests]] that people his age can share in, and he [[Wendy's|scares]] and [[The_Game_Place#Sauces|intimidates]] little kids.

'''He is fairly good-looking.''' Come on, [[Christian Weston Chandler|just look at the guy]]. He commented he's good-looking with or without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]], ''BUT'' he needs them, a statement which suggests that he honestly doesn't believe he's as good looking with them. This is further evidenced by the fact that didn't wear them when he took his [[Love_quest#Promotional_Images|"sexy photos."]] He then gives the excuse that he needs the glasses because he's nearsighted, but nearsightedness can easily be corrected with contact lenses, or even a stylish pair of glasses that don't make him look like a [[pedofork|pedophile]]. But that would require spending a bit of his [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] on something that isn't related to [[PS3|video games]] and/or intended to [[sex toys|go in his ass]]. And on the subject of [[Chris and money|his spending habits]]...

'''He is generous and gives to his friends.''' Yes, Chris is so generous, that he once admitted that if he had the cure to [[autism]], a truly invaluable thing that would bring life-changing help to millions around the world, [[Pixelated PS3|that he'd throw it away just to get a PS3]]. In the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], after saying he'd share the prize money with his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church congregation]], he ended up spending the majority of it on himself. And he [[Chris_and_money#Credit_cards|stole money from his own parents]] so he could buy video game content for [[PSN|games he didn't even own]].

'''He can be cheerful and easy-going.''' He constantly started arguments with everyone at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over [[Pokémon]] games, and [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Sauces|almost got his ass kicked]] once because of them. He will resist doing or feeling anything that will be even a minor inconvenience upon him. He has also [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_English|publicly cried like a baby]] at [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|inappropriate times]] over issues that were either largely insignificant or the direct result of his own fuck-ups.

'''He is a good listener.''' Countless numbers of [[White knight|people have tried to talk sense into him]] to get him to not fall for [[trolls]], and to try to help him change his life for the better. He's resisted nearly every bit of advice he's received. [[Vivian Gee]] spent hours trying to give him sound advice about fixing his life, and he just [[Stress sigh|sighed]] and rejected her advice so much that she [[The Miscreants|turned against him]]. He [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_thinks_she_was_scarred_because_she_doesn.27t_know_much_about_sex|completely missed the point about why Megan was so upset]] with him about spreading embarrassing things about her online, thinking she was just mad because she didn't know much about sex.

'''He is empathetic/sympathetic.''' Maybe he just doesn't know what these words truly mean, but likely he knows and just doesn't care. If he was either of those things, he would understand why [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and various [[jerkops]] didn't want him soliciting himself in public, and why potential [[Sweetheart|sweethearts]] would be put off by his [[The Creepy Stare|creepy overly-forward advances]]. He might have shown true remorse over the death of Ryan Cash instead of being [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_December_28th%2C_2008|awestruck by the power of causing someone to kill themselves]] and telling his brother to [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|just get over it]]. And he certainly wouldn't have cheated on his aforementioned e-sweethearts. Two weeks after he declared how empathetic and sympathetic he is, he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|stunned YouTube by uploading a video]] intending to tease a blackmail photo of [[Gregg Mays]] by photoshopping it into a picture of the World Trade Center and illustrating the towers being attacked, saying that they were both weak and would go crumbling down. Backpedaling after the subsequent outrage, Chris removed that video and [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|replaced it with another video]] showing a birthday cake with two candles...the candles being the towers from the World Trade Center photoshop copy-pasted directly over the cake, except with the tops removed and set ablaze.

'''He is fairly popular and it's easy for him to make friends.''' Chris has never been popular. He was [[A_Week_With_Christian_Chandler|harrassed in school]], had to [[High_school#The_Seinor_Prom|take his mother to the prom]], and most of the people that he had regular positive contact with [[Kellie Andes|didn't like him nearly as much as he liked them]]. After getting out of school, most people that stayed in his life or entered it drifted away quickly or have been [[Megan Schroeder|driven away by his direct actions]]. He was widely disliked at The GAMe PLACe, and had to [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School|change schools]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|churches]] due to numerous conflicts. Since he was discovered by the interwebs, practically everyone that has entered his life--both online and off--has done so just to troll him, and the few that didn't mostly ended up becoming trolls. 99% of all the comments on his [[YouTube]] videos are negative, and he is bombarded with negative emails from trolls daily. He automatically considers all males to be [[JERKS|jerks]], and even [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|belittled someone]] who is considered to be the only true fan of his comic that he ever had.

Perhaps he is confusing being popular with being notorious, but given how [[Chris_and_Wikipedia|full of himself]] he his, that is unlikely.

'''He is good at talking to people, knows what to say to them, and shares his feelings because they are "good feelings most of the time."''' Any [[Mumble|chatlog or clip]] of him conversing with someone else makes it plainly obvious he cannot carry on a conversation and constantly tries to steer the focus on himself. When he strikes up conversation with potential sweethearts, he uses [[How to Talk to Girls|shitty tips from books]] and [[Sprung|cheesy pickup lines straight out of video games]]. He thinks there are [[Dating|strict rules to follow when being social]], and even thinks that making spontaneous human connections is [[Dating education|something to be taught in a classroom]]. He's [[Megan_E-mails#Shit_hits_the_fan.2C_Chris_confesses_his_love|completely incapable of saying the right thing to someone based on his conversations with Megan]] and [[Chris_and_death#RocketFox.27s_Dad|people who have suffered hardships that don't involve Chris at all]]. And when he does share his feelings, he will blurt out things that are either [[Virgin_with_rage|wildly inappropriate]], or details about himself that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|no human being would ever want to know]].

'''He stays out of conflict.''' If anyone offers [[Vivian Gee|any criticism]], [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|rips off his rip-offs]], or [[CWC_Address_to_Unilever_About_AXE|suggests he's not entirely straight]], he gets [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|defensive]] and/or flies into [[Chris and anger|nuclear tard rage]]. He gets into it with [[trolls]] at every opportunity, will not back down from an argument until he's had the last word, and will even [[Brutal_Legend_Plus|hypocritically mock]] people rather than just letting things slide. He absolutely cannot let any slight against him go, proven in his [[Clyde_Cash|lengthy campaigns]] against [[CChanSonichuCWC|various trolls]]. This video is further proof to the point; after CChanSonichuCWC reappeared, Chris absolutely had to respond to Liquid twice though he said he wouldn't ever do so again.

'''He is reliable.''' Chris can't even put out his [[Sonichu_(comic)|shitty scribble of a comic]] at any kind of regular schedule, sometimes going months at a time without updating despite the fact that he has no job and rarely leaves his house. He stood up [[Emily]] when they first arranged their date in the mall. He couldn't even be counted on to do basic minimum wage work, having been fired from a [[Wendy's|fast-food restaurant]].

'''He tries to control his temper.''' [[NO_D***_WAY%2C_IMPOSTOR!!!|Please]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|feast]] [[I'LL_BREAK_YOU_DEAD|your]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|eyes]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|on]] [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!|these]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|articles]], [[Chris_Loses_It|and ask]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|yourself]] [[Adam_Stackhouse#Chris.27s_opinion_of_Adam|just]] [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_contest#Aftermath|how]] [[B-Manajerk|in]] [[10112009|control]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_4th%2C_2009|of]] [[Youtube_Finale|his]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|temper]] [[ED|he]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_8th%2C_2009|is]].

'''He can keep secrets.''' Ever since he [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|came in contact with ED]], he has continuously uploaded [[14_Branchland_Court|sensitive personal details about himself]], [[Tour_of_Chris's_House|his family]], and [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|his friends]]. He keeps doing so despite the fact that [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|trolls are constantly using this information to torment him and people close to him]]. He told the internet that his mom has [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2009|problems with her ass.]] He will also [[PandaHalo|give information freely to people posing as trolls]], because as long as someone strings together a few nice things to say about him, [[Blanca Weiss|he will immediately trust that person without question]].

==Addressing Liquid (Counterpoint)==

In the interest of fairness, here's a complete list of the qualities he listed about himself that weren't utter horseshit.

'''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|He]] [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|is]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|not]] [[Dirty_crapped_briefs|shy]].'''

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]