CWCki - User contributions [en]

Carlos Chantor

2011-01-02T08:01:24Z

Vivalaaspie:

{{quote|Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of '''"Carlos Chantor"''''(DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias).|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 6]].}}

[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|"[[List of Chris's lies|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]."]]

'''Carlos Chantor''' was Chris's alias during his short-lived career as a male escort.

Chris came up with the alias after his first break up with his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. He tried joining with [[Charlottesville]]'s "Naughty and Nice" escort services, but after being told that there was no market for [[duck|bent]], [[autism|autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgins with rage]], he made a profile (now deleted) at '''Escorts.com''', apparently unaware that most male prostitutes belong to a rather [[Gay|rough trade]]. Interestingly, on the Escort.com profile Chris checked that he was comfortable with every fetish available (except the ones he found too [[homosexual]]). After a [[Prank calls#Carlos Chantor Call|certain prank call inquired about watersports]] however, he quickly reverted his decision and removed watersports as a fetish. He also distributed cards promoting himself as an escort around Charlottesville. This shows once again that Chris does not care about sex as an act between two lovers but a way to lose his virginity, as well as get a quick buck.

For some reason, no one has called Chris up.

== Escorts.com profile ==

=== About Me ===
[[Virgin|Experienced]] for Her Pleasure.

Hey, Ladies. I am a cool dude to hang with, and I can make you [[CWC's Message for Ivy|feel good emotionally]] and [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|show you a fun time]]. I enjoy a lot of things; [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|I'll let you know when it's going too far]]. Give me [[Prank calls|a call]] to hook up (434 area code only).

=== My Details ===
[[File:CarlosChantor.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The explicit personal details of notorious womanizer, Carlos Chantor.]]
* '''Sex''': Male
* '''Date of Birth''': 2/24/[[1982]] (age 28)
* '''Orientation''': [[Homos|Straight]] Male
* '''Ethnicity''': [[Chris and race|Caucasian]]
* '''Body Type:''' [[Obesity|Average (height/weight proportional)]]
* '''Height''': 5 feet 10 inches (178 cm)
* '''Hair Color''': [[Hair|Brown]]
* '''Eye Color''': [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
* '''Smoking''': [[Tobacky|Do Not Smoke]]
* '''Drinking''': [[Alcohol|Occasionally]]
* '''Drug Use''': Never use them
* '''Language Spoken''': [[Chris and English|English]]
* '''Secondary Language''': [[Spanish]]

[[File:Randy-trailer-park-boys.jpg|right|thumb|He's not the only one selling sex for cheeseburgers.]]

===My Location===
*'''Home''': [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]

===My Availability===
*'''Available as a(n)''': [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Accommodating Male]], [[Patti|Master]]/[[Julie Reveals Herself|Slave]], [[Butt garments|Model]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Masseuse]], [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_Undressing|Stripper]]/[[WelcometoBollywood|Dancer]], [[Barbara|Escort]]
* '''Available For''': Outcall, [[14 Branchland Court|Incall]]
* '''Management''': Independent

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]

[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]
[[Category:Websites]]

2012

2011-01-02T07:51:31Z

Vivalaaspie:

Things <s>planned</s> that will happen in '''2012''':

[[Image:FutureChris.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in 2012]]
[[Image:The toppling of Christian.jpg|thumb|'''February 24:''' Two years after the proclamation of [[Christian Love Day]], the citizens of [[CWCville]] revolt against their tyrant, undoing all the damage done in his "crusade of [[Honest Content|honesty]]"]]
[[Image:Sonichuspore1.png|thumb|"ALL Sonichus are [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!"]]
* '''SPOILER ALERT:''' Chris still [[virgin with rage|won't have a girlfriend]]
*[[Scampers Chandler|Scampers]] runs away. ''(go go Scampers! :3)''
*[[Bob Chandler]] finally kicks the bucket. He then goes on to successfully [[Bob Walks In|cut down the]] [[Internet]] in Heaven.
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' & ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu the Game]]'' are released as [[Hex Bawx|Kinect]] exclusive titles, earning Chris millions and mad [[lie|poon]], but at the compromise of his beliefs. Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to [[Wii]] and [[PS3]]. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
*Hasbro, in cooperation with [[The Miscreants]], releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "[[Kick the Autistic]]" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
*Having made millions of dollars from their famous game, [[Clyde Cash]] is able to bring his organization back into the public. He then enlists the help of [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[User:Cogsdev|Webmaster Cogsdev]] to construct a network of proxy A.I.s to run all future organized trolling from then on out. Clyde is then allowed to retire in peace, knowing [[Ryan Cash|his brother's]] will had been carried on...
*With her cat and husband gone and her son a total failure, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
*Chris goes to the [[Charlottesville]] [[Mal-Wart]] armed with an [[IBA Chandler]] sniper rifle. In a fit of tard [[rage]], he fires at several [[manager]]s and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]], missing every time.
*Chris is sentenced to six months house arrest for his failed rampage. He starts storming [[YouTube]] with meaningless [[PSEye]] videos again and tries to convince women to come to his house.
*Chris is released from house arrest, and soon proceeds to run over two people with [[Son-Chu]] while pretending his car is a <s>[[Transformers|Transformer]]</s> [[Metal Gear|walking battle tank]].
*For his crime, Chris is sentenced to two years in prison. He struggles to STAY STRAIGHT, but is raped by [[niggos]] daily.
*Chris is let off after one month for good behavior, and is instead sentenced to house arrest, yet again...
*Virginian [[police]] discover the corpse of a [[Zapina|14-year-old girl]] who had been [[rape]]d several miles from [[14 Branchland Court]]. Numerous signs of trauma to her [[vagina]], traces of [[semen]] and [[Fanta]] are found on the corpse, and [[Medallion|pieces of Crayola model magic]] are found [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoved up her anus]]. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Decorated officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to bring the perpetrator to justice.
*Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]" by stitching together their various body parts and tries to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his [[Amnyfest Ring]], the [[Heart Torch of Fail]], and his [[PS3]]. None of the methods work.
*Chris proceeds to instead stick the Heart Torch of Fail up his ass and creates Crystal, who later dies 5 seconds after seeing her father. Chris then rapes her corpse.
*After removing said object from his ass, he finds out at least 15 [[Pixelblocks]] are trapped in his ass. He is hospitalized for a week.
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun.
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in Son-Chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a vintage [[Megatron Pistol|WWII German pistol]], Officer Bagget orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "[[random-access humor|Down where? All that's down there is the ground]]" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
*Barbara's corpse is discovered during a search on their house, half-eaten by [[Kitty]] and a zombie-esque Patti.
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing.
*The CWC Saga is declared over, and heroic [[trolls]] everywhere retire in peace to live happy successful lives. The [[CWCki]] is left up as a monument to Christian's [[fail]].
*Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris' rectum contained an environment so volatile that it spawned the first recorded traces of [[PS3|Silicon-Based Life.]]
*On [[Christmas]] Day 2012, scientists announce that they had created a cure for [[autism]], derived from chemicals found in Christian's body.
*''Chris-Chan: An Autistic Odyssey'' is picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time (starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as Chris, Clint Eastwood as Bob, Kathy Bates as Barbara, Ulliel Gaspard as [[Liquid]], Emma Watson as [[Kacey]], Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino as [[Clyde Cash]], Ken Leung as [[Mao]], Rebecca Hall as [[Vivian Gee]], Jason Scott Lee as [[Surfshack Tito]], Ashley Tisdale as [[Sarah Hammer]], Ellen Page as [[Megan]], Samuel L. Jackson as [[Jerkhief]], Tom Baker as [[Michael Snyder]], Judi Dench as [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Lucy Liu as [[Vivian Gee]], Bruce Willis as [[Cole Smithey]] and Jaleel White as the voice of Sonichu). Cole tarnishes the film by giving it the only negative review.

<gallery>
Image:SchuRL.jpg|[[Sonichu]] in 2012.
Image:Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]] in 2012.
Image:Alenci.jpg|[[Angelica Rosechu]] in 2012.
Image:Simonl.jpg|What [[Simonla Rosechu]] could have looked like in 2012.
</gallery>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2012

2011-01-02T07:51:09Z

Vivalaaspie:

Things <s>planned</s> that will happen in '''2012''':

[[Image:FutureChris.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in 2012]]
[[Image:The toppling of Christian.jpg|thumb|'''February 24:''' Two years after the proclamation of [[Christian Love Day]], the citizens of [[CWCville]] revolt against their tyrant, undoing all the damage done in his "crusade of [[Honest Content|honesty]]"]]
[[Image:Sonichuspore1.png|thumb|"ALL Sonichus are [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!"]]
* '''SPOILER ALERT:''' Chris still [[virgin with rage|won't have a girlfriend]]
*[[Scampers Chandler|Scampers]] runs away. ''(go go Scampers! :3)''
*[[Bob Chandler]] finally kicks the bucket. He then goes on to successfully [[Bob Walks In|cut down the]] [[Internet]] in Heaven.
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' & ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu the Game]]'' are released as [[Hex Bawx|Kinect]] exclusive titles, earning Chris millions and mad [[lie|poon]], but at the compromise of his beliefs. Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to [[Wii]] and [[PS3]]. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
*Hasbro, in cooperation with [[The Miscreants]], releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "[[Kick the Autistic]]" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
*Having made millions of dollars from their famous game, [[Clyde Cash]] is able to bring his organization back into the public. He then enlists the help of [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[User:Cogsdev|Webmaster Cogsdev]] to construct a network of proxy A.I.s to run all future organized trolling from then on out. Clyde is then allowed to retire in peace, knowing [[Ryan Cash|his brother's]] will had been carried on...
*With her cat and husband gone and her son a total failure, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
*Chris goes to the [[Charlottesville]] [[Mal-Wart]] armed with an [[IBA Chandler]] sniper rifle. In a fit of tard [[rage]], he fires at several [[manager]]s and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]], missing every time.
*Chris is sentenced to six months house arrest for his failed rampage. He starts storming [[YouTube]] with meaningless [[PSEye]] videos again and tries to convince women to come to his house.
*Chris is released from house arrest, and soon proceeds to run over two people with [[Son-Chu]] while pretending his car is a <s>[[Transformers|Transformer]]</s> [[Metal Gear|walking battle tank]].
*For his crime, Chris is sentenced to two years in prison. He struggles to STAY STRAIGHT, but is raped by [[niggos]] daily.
*Chris is let off after one month for good behavior, and is instead sentenced to house arrest, yet again...
*Virginian [[police]] discover the corpse of a [[Zapina|14-year-old girl]] who had been [[rape]]d several miles from [[14 Branchland Court]]. Numerous signs of trauma to her [[vagina]], traces of [[semen]] and [[Fanta]] are found on the corpse, and [[Medallion|pieces of Crayola model magic]] are found [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoved up her anus]]. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Decorated officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to bring the perpetrator to justice.
*Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]" by stitching together their various body parts and tries to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his [[Amnyfest Ring]], the [[Heart Torch of Fail]], and his [[PS3]]. None of the methods work.
*Chris proceeds to instead stick the Heart Torch of Fail up his ass and creates Crystal, who later dies 5 seconds after seeing her father. Chris then rapes her corpse.
*After removing said object from his ass, he finds out at least 15 [[Pixelblocks]] are trapped in his ass. He is hospitalized for a week.
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun.
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in Son-Chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a vintage [[Megatron Pistol|WWII German pistol]], Officer Bagget orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "[[random-access humor|Down where? All that's down there is the ground]]" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
*Barbara's corpse is discovered during a search on their house, half-eaten by [[Kitty]] and a zombie-esque Patti.
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing.
*The CWC Saga is declared over, and heroic [[trolls]] everywhere retire in peace to live happy successful lives. The [[CWCki]] is left up as a monument to Christian's [[fail]].
*Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris'rectum contained an environment so volatile that it spawned the first recorded traces of [[PS3|Silicon-Based Life.]]
*On [[Christmas]] Day 2012, scientists announce that they had created a cure for [[autism]], derived from chemicals found in Christian's body.
*''Chris-Chan: An Autistic Odyssey'' is picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time (starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as Chris, Clint Eastwood as Bob, Kathy Bates as Barbara, Ulliel Gaspard as [[Liquid]], Emma Watson as [[Kacey]], Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino as [[Clyde Cash]], Ken Leung as [[Mao]], Rebecca Hall as [[Vivian Gee]], Jason Scott Lee as [[Surfshack Tito]], Ashley Tisdale as [[Sarah Hammer]], Ellen Page as [[Megan]], Samuel L. Jackson as [[Jerkhief]], Tom Baker as [[Michael Snyder]], Judi Dench as [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Lucy Liu as [[Vivian Gee]], Bruce Willis as [[Cole Smithey]] and Jaleel White as the voice of Sonichu). Cole tarnishes the film by giving it the only negative review.

<gallery>
Image:SchuRL.jpg|[[Sonichu]] in 2012.
Image:Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]] in 2012.
Image:Alenci.jpg|[[Angelica Rosechu]] in 2012.
Image:Simonl.jpg|What [[Simonla Rosechu]] could have looked like in 2012.
</gallery>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]