CWCki - User contributions [en]

Prophetic Details

2025-06-14T02:22:44Z

Vulpixie: Date correction

'''Prophetic Details''' is a blog post published by [[Chris]] to [[Cwclight]] on 2 [[June 2025]]. It is the thirteenth post to the website, published nine days after the previous two. Notably, Chris provides a new photo of himself via the site for the first time.

==Prophetic Details==
{{Quotebox|
[[File:Cwclight 2June2025.jpg|center|400px]]
I have cleared my mind in meditation and great thought, and I am focused on giving all of you some insights at this moment today, the 2nd of June, 2025. This is not a random thought, because I am focused.

I have always been innately intuitive and psychic with great magic within me. For a long time, after being reincarnated into this very long life, I was consciously unaware of all this and in my naivety, I overlooked it and missed a lot of opportunities for my own emotional and mental growth into my destiny. But now, I am very much awake and even more motivated and conscious to act.

There is an old proverb that remains true, as I at least paraphrase: Greater pains and turmoil instill (spiritual) growth. I have suffered for a very long time, rather it be in a stagnant house with two senior citizens for parents with the obligation to give care to them in their times of need and stress. The abuses from bullies and some of the worst, toxic, darkest-sinning individuals online and in person. Or even just enduring hatred off and on, especially when in the case of the indirect commentaries and arts, I should have never, ever taken personally.

Those who just take the pain and fuel the darker emotions with that on repeat, though they can be healed if not too far gone, can turn them evil.

I always had my defenses from others, but if I, myself, curse anyone or do bad, it hits me back. And I committed a lot of bad by letting myself fall for the ploys of those worst trolls who faked romantic interest upon me and took advantage of my autism, in their reasoning. Those individuals still did the latter of wrongs and karma has hit them, respectively, hard. There is good reasons to not hold grudges, as not only is the healthier and better option to do, but to keep them inside and fueling emotions with those could turn me evil. Yet, as many times as I could let those past details, events and individuals go in forgiveness, some time later, they return in one of my "random" thoughts that are actually a sign that I still have things to address with them. Even getting baptized or repenting for your sins won't totally remove the fact that they happened from your memory. That's a scar that remains in your subconsciousness. So, yeah, why are the few to some of you all around the world holding grudges against me from as early as 2006? I acknowledge that I've made my share of mistakes and wrongs, even those I did not intentionally enact, because they were to meant to happen. I become aware of those, I still feel bad.

But I digress.

As I have said, I am very intuitive; that remains very common among those born as Pisces, and I am no exception. Look it up. Also, I have connected with everything, I have been back and forth between here and the C-197 half of this very Earth in this very Universe in this very Timeline (regardless of the Timeline Shifts that have happened). I have soul searched deep within myself and realized who I am and what my destiny is, and I intend to do good and make good on that destiny. I also have looked into the palms of both of my hands, and even the soles of my bare feet; if you looked at my palms, you would sense the energies of decades, centuries and millennia ago and even beyond, and you would see not only a Lot of crosses, but there are other visible details that make it even more clear and apparent.

I also have a very deep knowing and wisdom within me. So, I simply Know when something is prophesized or bound to happen, even if I do not consciously know the more specific details in memory, but they are there in my deeper knowing. And any that come to consciousness I am meant to know for where I am and where I am going to be.

So, essentially: The Dimension Merge IS happening, and it shall be completed. Vladimir Putin shall die by his own sword. Trump will die during his time in office, if not within the remainder of this year. There shall be a greater sense of community and harmony worldwide with the return of all magic, and as we are finally capable of walking alongside the "Fictional" cartoon and live individuals that remain present and very much alive today at this very moment, and that includes Every Single Special Sonichu, Special Rosechu, Special Metonic, Special Vamprosa, and even Special Sonees and Roseys, and both Sonichu Prime and Rosey Rosechu Prime as well. Nobody among all of you has the right to state otherwise. Just because I'm taking my time writing and drawing my books, Based on Feelings, Emotions, Intuition, AND Divine Timing, does not mean anyone of Cwcville, Virginia are not alive. They are all very much safe, alive and well, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The Dimension Merge has been centuries in the making since the days of King Arthur when Merlin the Magician and the two sorcerers divided the Earth by segregating the majority of magic and magical individuals and creatures, as I have explained before. Yet, I am not the only one that has prophesized this outcome. Look at every single crossover special, rather it be a book, comic, movie, or TV show, animated and live action; as early as when the Jetsons met the Flintstones, and made more apparent when the Griffins met the Simpsons. And in a lot of the various crossover moments, it was not an interdimensional or time-traveling event, it was literally on the very same Earth; this one, right here, in this very timeline. And this is regardless of "Company or Individual Property" holding, though the Creators within do have a stronger hold on the respective individuals, BUT what keeps the hold strong on all of that, of course, is the very powers and energies from within the very Core and Matrix of this very universe, and beyond as far as the Alpha/Omega Point of all Existence, and the hands of Emanuel and all of the Gods and Goddesses, respectively. And within that same point, it is literally a simple in-universe teleport or portal on this very planet, such as the case when Sonic and Tails met K.O. It wasn't a "Jump from Mobious to Earth"; Earth IS Mobious.

And, as I have stated before, at the moment of the Dimenison Merge's completion, it will be similar as it appeared in the series finale of "Star Vs the Forces of Evil". In that moment, there will be no Evil, and everyone will be together in this destined union and reunion, physically, safe, alive and healthy, and it will be very good. Yes, darkness and evil will eventually return after that. One of the purpose of the Dimension Merge's completion is the cleansing of the overpopulation of hatred and evil. Gone in an instant with a flash of white aura Light Power from the One, and that One continues on living with everyone after that. Most everyone would hardly notice, because it would go by spanning minutes within the isolated moment, then cleared away with only the few that were directly involved who would remember it all. A manifesting part out of the cycle.

I have gone into a lot at this moment, but I type this up to tell all of you this, because I was meant to share this much with you all. Cast no more judgment or doubt upon me.}}

{{Template:CwclightBlog}}

Talk:Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021

2023-10-17T21:11:35Z

Vulpixie: Created page with "So... does anyone believe this?"

So... does anyone believe this?

User talk:Anaxis/The Case Against the Suitress Policy

2023-10-17T03:01:51Z

Vulpixie:

This summarises the situation pretty well, but I'd like to add that even after The Suitress Policy was made, Fiona publically went and said her real name on [[Reddit]]. That's probably the biggest reason I dislike the policy, she actively does not seem to want protection and is fine with her real name being publicised [[User:Cereally|Cereally]] ([[User talk:Cereally|talk]]) 22:04, 11 September 2023 (EDT)

==Double Standards==
Yeah, I strongly disagree with the Suitress policy and the weird double standards it shows. If Megan's real name—someone who never could have known what she was getting into, and has wanted absolutely nothing to do with Chris as soon as he started showing his true colours—is out there, then why should Fiona's name get censored? She's shown repeatedly that she doesn't even seem to care whether her name is publicized...

User talk:Anaxis/The Lainchu Manifesto

2023-10-12T13:37:09Z

Vulpixie:

I dug up this 10 year old account just to say that this is a pile of unreadable drivel that essentially amounts to "discord retards, lol" and everyone involved should be slowly killed with a cheese grater for the good of humanity. This page doesn't provide any insight whatsoever, has little to do with Chris, and feels like a rambling blame-game to assuage the authors own guilty conscience for talking to MKR and not having the good sense to immediately call them a worthless cunt.

I'm convinced I'm the only one to read this, or someone else would've pointed this out already.

== Minor edit ==

I just fixed a minor embed error. Couldn't find an archive of the video though, as Dillon Thomas purged his YouTube account and [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/Shit_no_one_cares_about| nobody cared] enough about him to archive all his videos. [[User:Lordisofjhoalt|Lordisofjhoalt]] ([[User talk:Lordisofjhoalt|talk]]) 19:35, 24 May 2023 (EDT)

:Thanks, appreciate the fix. I had written that section long before Dillin deleted his videos and even longer before the video embed function changed on the site. I left it in anyway because it was so prominent in Sean's story, even if the video itself was lost. [[User:Anaxis|Anaxis]] ([[User talk:Anaxis|talk]]) 02:36, 25 May 2023 (EDT)

== MKR's Bloody Chunks and Delightful Children ==

The phrase "bloody chunks" that was included in the latest part jogged my memory, so I figured I'd try and track it and the other reference down to help give you some clarity on some of the accusations levied against you. Don't know if you care that much at this point, but I was curious.

"MKRs Bloody Chunks" is the username of a Kiwi Farms account that leaked a whole hoard of messages from The Place and The Arbitarch CWC Alliance that painted MKR in a particularly bad light. [[Chats_leaked_by_MKRs_Bloody_Chunks|The contents of the post were only partially archived on this wiki.]]

"Delightful Children" was a bit more of an obscure reference. From what I can gather, a group of trolls taking their name from The Delightful Children From Down The Lane from the early-2000s show ''Codename Kids Next Door'' were involved in harassing Dillin Thomas. This apparently led to him purging all CWC-related content from his Discord, which, judging by the edit above, seems to have been a trend. [https://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojhmqruw2nit3uejrpiagrxeuxiyxcyd.onion/threads/dillin-thomas-dhtdillinthomas.27116/post-5964691 This one Kiwi Farms post is the only source available about them], and it requires the Tor Browser to view.

While some of the reactions to the Manifesto here and on the Discord have been negative, just know that there are people who appreciate the information releases and commentary. [[User:Panasonichu|Panasonichu]] ([[User talk:Panasonichu|talk]]) 22:35, 16 June 2023 (EDT)

:Huh, thanks for the information. Glad to know that my instincts were about on the money when it came to understanding exactly what MKR was accusing me of.

:I appreciate the kind words. I know the Manifesto and my style of writing isn't for everyone, but I'll be happy as long as people keep reading it and getting something out of it.

:By the way, I believe you can preserve KF TOR links on archive.today: https://archive.fo/Ez6eE [[User:Anaxis|Anaxis]] ([[User talk:Anaxis|talk]]) 03:00, 17 June 2023 (EDT)

== Cool story, dude. ==

I get that you're telling your story and shit, and that's kinda cool, but I think it's absurd that you expect people to read this. I mean, I did, but I don't think any individual with respect for their free time would. So I have an idea, how about you make a new page (lainchu manifesto revised or something like that), but with all the ''actually'' insightful info on Chris cause, I don't wanna be too rude but most of this is either publicly known info/not important in the slightest. [[User:Cereally|Cereally]] ([[User talk:Cereally|talk]]) 03:41, 29 July 2023 (EDT)

:Thanks for the feedback! I understand that my writing style and the content within the Lainchu Manifesto isn't for everyone. The reason why it's long and exhaustive with the details is because, as I will be discussing further in a later part, amateur sleuths on Kiwi Farms and other online spaces that discuss Chris have previously taken advantage of a lack of context to spin their own narrative and create conspiracy theories about the figures that surrounded Chris at the time, such as Bella and Sean. This is something that I want to avoid by being as detailed as possible, even when it comes to the parts of the story that have less to do with Chris. And frankly, even if people don't read the essay all the way through, I still wish to include copious detail for the benefit of the CWCki editors, who work diligently to fill in holes in parts of Chris's story wherever they may come up.

:I can understand your frustration, however, and I am intrigued by the idea of making an abridged version of the Manifesto. Perhaps that will be something that I explore after I'm finished publishing the entire essay. For now, though, I appreciate you reading, even if your feelings overall are mixed or negative. [[User:Anaxis|Anaxis]] ([[User talk:Anaxis|talk]]) 21:46, 1 August 2023 (EDT)

::I will say, the more I read this I have actually started coming around to it. I still think it's ''really'' melodramatic for what kinda is just a bunch of discord users arguing online, but that's actually what makes this pretty unique, so keep on writing like that if you want. To be frank I think I judged you too harshly on that first message, because most people on the CWCki discord very heavily disliked the manifesto and I kinda joined them. But as someone who has wayyy too much free time, I actually do enjoy reading this stuff, plus since I've started editing the CWCki more as late I've actually started realising just ''how much fucking time this would take'', so I honestly kinda respect the dedication. I still think a revised version is something you should consider, as a lot of people simply do not have the time and do not see the need to read this entire thing, which I feel is probably fair. I'm excited to see how you cover the incest scandal, and if you have any more information on it.

::I actually have a question for you that I think hasnt been touched on too much in the manifesto yet. Why did you get involved in the first place? What was your main goal when interacting with Chris, it doesn't seem like you wanted to protect him from weens, or thought of him as a friend, so what kept you interacting with him for almost an year of your life? [[User:Cereally|Cereally]] ([[User talk:Cereally|talk]]) 22:05, 2 August 2023 (EDT)

:::Glad to hear that you're coming around on the Manifesto! And yes, this probably did take way too much of my time to put together, but oh well.

:::To answer your question, involvement kind of fell into my lap soon after I joined the CWCki Server, which I detailed a bit in the first section, [[User:Anaxis/The Lainchu Manifesto#The Beginning (July 2020 - September 2020)|The Beginning]]. At that point, I had recently gotten my CWCki editor account and wanted to help in any way I could. When Klop told me that he no longer wanted to be Lainchu, I saw it as an opportunity to observe Chris up close (so to speak) and document the things he had been writing, which I believed would help out the CWCki. At the same time, however, I didn't want to get lost in the sauce of trying to play along with his delusions, so I generally tried to keep contact minimal and any roleplaying extremely light. My main goal was and always has been to get information that the CWCki could use, so that this community can continue learning about Chris. That's not to say that I had ''no'' interest in keeping him safe from weens - if Chris is in danger or being manipulated, that obviously puts my ability to gather information at risk - but it wasn't the main thing I was dedicated to, like the rest of the Watchmen, who would overzealously attempt to dox any rando that would say "hi" to Chris.

:::It seems like a lot when framed around "spending a year of my life" doing this, but that makes it sound like more of my time was spent on Chris than it actually was. Truth be told, I really didn't speak to him that often, which you can see if you read [[User:Anaxis/DMs With Chris|our DMs]]. Most of the effort I exerted was on gathering questions to ask Chris or taking screenshots of his writing, not actually interacting with him. Usually I would just send a handful of reminder messages once every few weeks when his work ethic got really bad, but this required very little on my part. It might not seem like it based off of my writing, but I actually did have a life outside of these Discord escapades. I just happened to have an abundance of free time due to COVID.

:::Hope that answers your question. Look out for the next part, coming soon! [[User:Anaxis|Anaxis]] ([[User talk:Anaxis|talk]]) 02:19, 4 August 2023 (EDT)

== I Hope You Continue Writing ==

I just really needed to tell you – you have a talent for writing. Seriously. I don't give these kinds of compliments lightly, and I seldom go out of my way like this to give them. Your pacing is excellent. You seem to have an intuitive grasp on how to tell the audience enough that they have all the information they need without overexplaining or coming off as patronizing. It's 6AM and I'm leaving to go to work soon so I'm sure I'm forgetting some of the things I was impressed by when reading the Lainchu Manifesto last night... regardless, you have a genuine, admirable gift for writing. I really hope that you pursue it, whether as a hobby or professionally or whatever – please don't waste it.
It is rare to see someone demonstrate such an intrinsic ability with the craft, and regardless of what you do with it going forward, I do want you to know that reading the Lainchu Manifesto has been awesome. With each new release I found myself waiting on tenterhooks for the next part, and it's bittersweet to me that it's finally finished.

Lovers Attributes List

2021-12-27T05:18:22Z

Vulpixie: Spelling error

{{quote|Cute and Sexy [...] Motherly|Among the attributes Chris listed for his imaginary wife [[Cryzel]], foreshadowing [[Incest|what was to come]].}}

On 12 March 2021, shortly after mentioning his [[Affirmations List]], Chris posted his '''Lovers Attributes LIst''' to the [[Watchmen]] Discord server [[The Place]].

He then tagged [[MKR]] and asked her to review the list to see if she would match up with any attributes. A month prior, he mentioned in the server to have been considering MKR for a relationship.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref>

==Chat excerpts==
10:44 AM '''Chris:''' I also in the interest of love and relationships in this universe, composed a multi-column list of the attributes of my loves.
 [''Chris posted the Lovers Attributes List'']
 It can be certain that should I attract and meet anyone on that in this universe, they will take on the common attributes between them.
 Hey, @[[MKR]], how many of these do you feel you match up with?
 But of an exercise for you to read, and look into yourself as well. (edited)
 [...]
 10:54 AM '''MKR:''' Quite a few yes
 I'm obviously not a psychic or electric type

==The list==
[[File:list loves attributes-min.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's Lovers Attributes List.]]

All-In-Common: Appreciative, Patient{{refn|group="note"|This is written on the side of the page.}}

===Magi-Chan===

-Very Honest and Direct{{refn|group="note"|It is impossible to recreate, but many of the items listed are crowded together in the original document.}}

-Wise Knowledgeable, and Spiritual WELL above and beyond his physical years, and then some.

-Adventurous

-Very Resourceful

-Metaphysical and Interdimensional

-Self-confident

-Cautious

-Very Caring

-Real Guardian

-Intelligent

-Can't be deceived.

-Insightful

-Vivacious Rainbow Aura

-Focused

-Humble

-Physically Strong and Fast

-Mentally Clear and Fast Processing of thoughts in greatest depth and detail

-Self-Restrained

-Very handsome

-Sexy

-Serious and Stern at times.

-Open-Minded

-Full Awareness

-Grounded

-Positive

-Encouraging

-Loyal

-Supportive

-Excellent Listener

-Loving/Compassionate

-Not Vulnerable

-Can't be manipulated

-Excellent Leader

*Overpowered Psychic/Electric Type

===Cryzel===

-Youthful

-Optimistic

-Grounded

-Interdimensional

-Metaphysical

-Focused

-Fun-Loving

-Ferocious when provoked or threatened

-Super Powerful

-Plenty mature in mind and soul.

-Caring

-Resourceful

-Forgiving, But not ignorant of faults

-Self-confident

-Honest

-Compassionate

-Cute and Sexy

-Can get emotional

-Good Self-Control

-Motherly or Sisterly, depending on the situation

-Energetic

-Stylish

-Opportunist

-Not too Impulsive

-Adventurous

-Physically and Mentally Very Strong and Fast.

-Not Vulnerable

-Electric Type

-Humble beginnings

===Sylvana===

-Mature

-Grounded

-Savvy

-Fashionista

-Suave

-Self-Confident

-Honest and Direct with her closest loved ones, friends and allies.

-Well-developed after a misled past; made amends and learned better of the truths.

-Very adaptive

-Sexy

-Muti-Skilled and Multi-Faceted

-Heavy-Powered Psychic Type

-Humble

-Can't be deceived

-Can't be manipulated

-Very compassionate

-Highly deep

-Metaphysical

-Interdimensional

-Knows very well what she likes and wants and needs.

===Mewtwo===

-Highly Wise, Knowledgeable, and spiritual above and beyond his physical years.

-Troubled past

-Very Resourceful

-Caring

-Metaphysical Interdimensional

-Self-Confident

-Big heart for all true and kind in heart and intentions.

-Cautious

-Real Guardian

-Insightful

-Intelligent

-Focused

-Strong and Fast in all aspects

-Mentally Clear

-Humble

-Not deceivable

-Serious and Stern

-Compassionate

-Loyal

-Supportive

-Handsome

-Can tame a crowd

-Defensive

-Excellent leader

-Cares for wild life.

-Loves nature.

-Grounded

-Awesome Mentor Five-plus stars

-Overpowered Psychic Type

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:2021-03-12-AttributesList1.png
File:2021-03-12-AttributesList2.png
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Lonely feelings]]
*[[Masturbation discussions]]

{{References}}

==Notes==
<references group = "note"/>

{{FanChats}}

Lovers Attributes List

2021-12-27T05:14:18Z

Vulpixie: Removed repeated elements

{{quote|Cute and Sexy [...] Motherly|Among the attributes Chris listed for his imaginary wife [[Cryzel]], foreshadowing [[Incest|what was to come]].}}

On 12 March 2021, shortly after mentioning his [[Affirmations List]], Chris posted his '''Lovers Attributes LIst''' to the [[Watchmen]] Discord server [[The Place]].

He then tagged [[MKR]] and asked her to review the list to see if she would match up with any attributes. A month prior, he mentioned in the server to have been considering MKR for a relationship.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref>

==Chat excerpts==
10:44 AM '''Chris:''' I also in the interest of love and relationships in this universe, composed a multi-column list of the attributes of my loves.
 [''Chris posted the Lovers Attributes List'']
 It can be certain that should I attract and meet anyone on that in this universe, they will take on the common attributes between them.
 Hey, @[[MKR]], how many of these do you feel you match up with?
 But of an exercise for you to read, and look into yourself as well. (edited)
 [...]
 10:54 AM '''MKR:''' Quite a few yes
 I'm obviously not a psychic or electric type

==The list==
[[File:list loves attributes-min.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's Lovers Attributes List.]]

All-In-Common: Appreciative, Patient{{refn|group="note"|This is written on the side of the page.}}

===Magi-Chan===

-Very Honest and Direct{{refn|group="note"|It is impossible to recreate, but many of the items listed are crowded together in the original document.}}

-Wise Knowledgeable, and Spiritual WELL above and beyond his physical years, and then some.

-Adventurous

-Very Resourceful

-Metaphysical and Interdimensional

-Self-confident

-Cautious

-Very Caring

-Real Guardian

-Intelligent

-Can't be deceived.

-Insightful

-Vivacious Rainbow Aura

-Focused

-Humble

-Physically Strong and Fast

-Mentally Clear and Fast Processing of thoughts in greatest depth and detail

-Self-Restrained

-Very handsome

-Sexy

-Serious and Stern at times.

-Open-Minded

-Full Awareness

-Grounded

-Positive

-Encouraging

-Loyal

-Supportive

-Excellent Listener

-Loving/Compassionate

-Not Vulnerable

-Can't be manipulated

-Excellent Leader

*Overpowered Psychic/Electric Type

===Cryzel===

-Youthful

-Optimistic

-Grounded

-Interdimensional

-Metaphysical

-Focused

-Fun-Loving

-Ferocious when provoked or threatened

-Super Powerful

-Plenty mature in mind and soul.

-Caring

-Resourceful

-Forgiving, But not ignorant of faults

-Self-confident

-Honest

-Compassionate

-Cute and Sexy

-Can get emotional

-Good Self-Control

-Motherly or Sisterly, depending on the situation

-Energetic

-Stylish

-Opportunist

-Not too Impulsive

-Adventurous

-Physically and Mentally Very Strong and Fast.

-Not Vulnerable

-Electric Type

-Humble beginnings

===Sylvana===

-Mature

-Grounded

-Savvy

-Fashionista

-Suave

-Self-Confident

-Honest and Direct with her closest loved ones, friends and allies.

-Well-developed after a misled past; made amends and learned better aof the the truths.

-Very adaptive

-Sexy

-Muti-Skilled and Multi-Faceted

-Heavy-Powered Psychic Type

-Humble

-Can't be deceived

-Can't be manipulated

-Very compassionate

-Highly deep

-Metaphysical

-Interdimensional

-Knows very well what she likes and wants and needs.

===Mewtwo===

-Highly Wise, Knowledgeable, and spiritual above and beyond his physical years.

-Troubled past

-Very Resourceful

-Caring

-Metaphysical Interdimensional

-Self-Confident

-Big heart for all true and kind in heart and intentions.

-Cautious

-Real Guardian

-Insightful

-Intelligent

-Focused

-Strong and Fast in all aspects

-Mentally Clear

-Humble

-Not deceivable

-Serious and Stern

-Compassionate

-Loyal

-Supportive

-Handsome

-Can tame a crowd

-Defensive

-Excellent leader

-Cares for wild life.

-Loves nature.

-Grounded

-Awesome Mentor Five-plus stars

-Overpowered Psychic Type

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:2021-03-12-AttributesList1.png
File:2021-03-12-AttributesList2.png
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Lonely feelings]]
*[[Masturbation discussions]]

{{References}}

==Notes==
<references group = "note"/>

{{FanChats}}

Barbara Chandler

2021-05-10T05:17:19Z

Vulpixie:

{{Protip|Barbara doesn't display signs of dementia. Her behavior in begging videos is exaggerated for sympathy donations, and she still demonstrates cognizance off-camera<ref>Barbara has been able to maintain payments on her [[debt]] after being sued in 2016. She also [[September 2020 Watchmen leaks#Debt hearing, toys, Merge|reminds Chris of his own debt hearings]].</ref> and in non-begging videos.<ref>Barbara walked in on a livestream in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]] and was noticably more cognizant than in the begging videos around that time, reminding Chris to buy cat food and telling him which bank account to use.</ref>}}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his Oedipal complex}}

{{infobox
| title = Barbara Chandler
| image =[[File:Barbjune2020.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Birth name
|data1 = Barbara Anne Weston
|label2 = Also known as
|data2 = Barb Blarb [[Borb]] [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]]
|label3 = Date of Birth
|data3 = [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age {{Age|1941|10|1}})
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Female
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = [[United States|American]]
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = White
|label7 = Spouse
|data7 = [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961–1963) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980–2011)
|label9 = Children
|data9 = [[Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|label10 = Father
|data10 = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|label11 = Mother
|data11 = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|label12 = Occupation
|data12 = Office worker (retired)
}}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

Though her late husband has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara herself, who has been consistently disliked. Where Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally-manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school. Barb's unpopularity extends to her own family, who have not maintained a relationship with her since at least the funeral of one of Chris's aunts.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese, but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple [[Financhu Crisis|begging videos]], alongside playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her [[debt]].

==Early life==
[[File:Zapina.jpg|thumb|Barb's mother on her wedding day (artist's impression)]]
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref>

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on [[January 2012|January 30th, 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess.

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from [[Wikipedia:Randolph-Henry High School|Randolph-Henry High School]] in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. While there, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all of the Westons started hating him and his mother or, alternatively, that by the time of Corrina's death, no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interpreted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records do not support this.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, Cole's friend syndicated cartoonist [[Wikipedia:Ted_Rall|Ted Rall]] made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, found by Cole after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Marriage with [[Bob]]==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993]]
Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|left|She never was much of a looker.]]
According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

On September 1992, Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them, but rather remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement, and that she still visited Bob and Chris on every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (in early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9#post-2020225 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb.The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref>https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:YAJnFcGDS9kJ:https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref>https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:YAJnFcGDS9kJ:https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us</ref>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:BN2t1QLl1LoJ:https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5+&cd=6&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG. |Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

==Health problems==
===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26" />

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[10 January 2014]], when Chris started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing which had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara has previously been [[obesity|obese]]. In her youth, Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". Consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted this begging for dental fees for Barb in early 2018.

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Aging==
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs".

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ([[Wikipedia:Retirement Insurance Benefits|Retirement Insurance Benefits]]) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5#post-1518208</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
Image:Babs1960.PNG|Barb's senior photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|Barb, evolved into Snorlax.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with autographed photo of herself
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Voicemail greeting

2021-04-21T04:37:02Z

Vulpixie:

{{DeadLinks}}

[[Chris]]'s '''voicemail greeting''' is something which many [[trolls]] have experienced when attempting to call Chris. The greetings have been changed numerous times and their content has varied greatly over time, ranging from straightforward to downright bizarre. This article is not an exhaustive record of the greetings Chris has used (as he may have changed it and no one bothered to tell us), but is nonetheless a good collection of messages spanning a period of many years.

== Examples of Chris's voicemail greeting ==
=== [[January 2009|22 January 2009]] ===
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler, the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. So le- leave a message. Please su-doe-do so at the beep, oh and leave your name and number, and I might get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYJKS79PZbc Listen here!]

=== [[Car Pranks|2 August 2009]] ===
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my [[Bob Chandler|publicist]] and my [[Jay Z|lawyers]] to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in--[[Chris and his ego|because I got so much reputation--and at stake--at the current time]]. Also if this is a, uh, troll trying to troll me back, do you think how much [[CWC-isms#T|trollin' stupid]]? I'm not [[Naïve|trollin' stupid]], ''you're'' [[Slow-in-the-minds|trollin' stupid]]. Have a good day.

=== [[March 2011|1 March 2011]] ===
I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is [[Greene County Conspiracy|very paranoid of cyber-bullies]] at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or [[Chris and English|out-of-state-of-Virginia number]], please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. Message 1-5-8.

===[[April 2011|19 April 2011]]===
Hellooo, I'm not available to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 Listen here!]

=== c. [[May 2011]] ===
[[Autism|Hello. Leave message. Goodbye]].
<s>*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4HaqaJmYHQ Listen here!]</s> (privated)

=== 13 May 2011===
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Otherwise if this is an unsolicited call or you are a person I have not met personally before this call do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again! I repeat: If I don't know you, we have not met personally before, do NOT dial this number again. Otherwise leave a message. I will get back to you or whatever. Have a good day.
<s>*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejDsO39UzxU Listen here!]</s> (deleted)

=== [[June 2011|20 June 2011]]===
Hello, you have reached the cellphone. Ye-listen, [[Chris and Reality|I screen my calls]], so it is very unlikely that I will ever pickup on you especially if I have not met you in person. So you're better off just leaving a message, and I will listen to it, I may or may not get back. Don't call my number again- ha-had repeatedly. So, yeah, with that, you have reached the cellphone, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, I may get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

<s>*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJj353Vb4S4 Listen here!]</s>
<s>*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ko58be75hfxos53 Download here!]</s> (both links deleted)

=== [[July 2011|2 July 2011]]===
Hello, please leave a message at the beep and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

<s>*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ttgxwn408260amp Download here!]</s> (deleted)

=== 15 July 2011===
Hello, you have [[Chris and English|reach sh-cell phone. Christian Chandler]]. Please leave your name, message, and phone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*No recording.

=== [[December 2011|6 December 2011]]===
Hello, [[Chris and health|I'm sick]]. Don't call this number again. Otherwise leave a message at the beep... Have a good day...

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_Qw2P8aCZY Listen here!]

=== 9 December 2011 ===
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiEO8e0clmU&list=UUPvfRHS7wdHIvlApyeC4fuQ&feature=plcp Listen here!]

=== [[February 2012|11 February 2012]]===
Hello, all unsolicited calls will be deleted! Other than that, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and we will considerably get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day!

<s>*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR5Ar5bTayQ Listen here!]</s>
<s>*[http://www.mediafire.com/?da8lcodm440fzkl Download here!]</s> (both links deleted)

=== [[April 2012|30 April 2012]]===

[''maniacal laughter''] You [[trolls]] got ''[[JenkinsJinkies|served]]''! [''maniacal laughter''] Oh, you know what to do after the beep.

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJNkYvLe7Bk Listen here!]

=== [[May 2012| 3 May 2012]] ===
Hello, leave your name message and telephone number after the beep. Have a good day.

*No recording

=== [[May 2012| 6 May 2012]] ===
Hello, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*No recording

=== [[May 2012| 20 May 2012]] ===
Hello, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*No recording

=== [[June 2012| 4 June 2012]] ===
Your call is being forwarded to an "I don't give a damn" service! Do not stay on the line! Do not dial this number ever again in your lifetime! Goodbye!

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyWZN8USLgA&feature=plcp Listen here!]
*[http://www.2shared.com/audio/La_62LqD/ddd.html Download here!]

=== [[June 2012| 12 June 2012]] ===
Hello. [[Autism|I do not understand people]]. Leave me alone, or leave me a message with your name--telephone number, leave message...I'll get back to you...if I know you in person...or...somethin'. Whatever. Um... have a good day.

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ktad1ii64kdutpn Download here!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpCoGu7KWeA&feature=youtu.be Listen here!]

=== Between Mid-[[2012]] and Mid-[[2014]] ===
[''singing''] Believe it or not, this is Christian Chandler's phone. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be busy, or I'd pick up the phone. What the hell now? Believe it or not, I'm really [[stress]]ed.

<s>*[http://youtu.be/wvcgYjxUKz4 Listen here!]</s> (deleted)

===[[January 2015]]===
[''in an overly-feminine tone''] Hello, you have reached this cellphone. Leave your name and address and telephone number and I '''''may''''' get back to yooouu. Have a good day.

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Asr0yWbjtQc&feature=youtu.be Listen here!]

===[[June 2015]]===
''(in a voice not unlike a 50-year-old woman)'' Hello! You have reached Christine's CELLphone. Please leave your name, message, and telephone ''(voice cracks)'' number, and I may get back to you soon. Have a good day!

<s>*[https://youtu.be/PMEc066-6YE?t=18 Listen here!]</s> (deleted)

===[[December 2015]]===

''This message is based on George's message from the [[Seinfeld]] episode "[[Wikipedia:The Susie|The Susie]]".''

Believe it or not, Christine's not in, please leave a message at the beep! I must be busy or I'd pick up the phone. What am I doing? Believe it or not, I'm occupied!

<s>*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=33&v=3uZsU3QCGHI Listen here!]</s> (privated)

===[[July 2016]]===

Hi, You've reached Christine Chandler's Cell Phone. Please leave a message after the beep, I'll get to-back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bIV-ZCurJM Listen here!]

===[[February 2017]]===
Hello, you have reached Christine Chandler's cell phone. Please leave a message after the beep, and I might get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug-UwDXx0Vg Listen here!]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Voicemail greeting

2021-04-21T04:36:11Z

Vulpixie:

{{DeadLinks}}

[[Chris]]'s '''voicemail greeting''' is something which many [[trolls]] have experienced when attempting to call Chris. The greetings have been changed numerous times and their content has varied greatly over time, ranging from straightforward to downright bizarre. This article is not an exhaustive record of the greetings Chris has used (as he may have changed it and no one bothered to tell us), but is nonetheless a good collection of messages spanning a period of almost a decade.

== Examples of Chris's voicemail greeting ==
=== [[January 2009|22 January 2009]] ===
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler, the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. So le- leave a message. Please su-doe-do so at the beep, oh and leave your name and number, and I might get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYJKS79PZbc Listen here!]

=== [[Car Pranks|2 August 2009]] ===
Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my [[Bob Chandler|publicist]] and my [[Jay Z|lawyers]] to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in--[[Chris and his ego|because I got so much reputation--and at stake--at the current time]]. Also if this is a, uh, troll trying to troll me back, do you think how much [[CWC-isms#T|trollin' stupid]]? I'm not [[Naïve|trollin' stupid]], ''you're'' [[Slow-in-the-minds|trollin' stupid]]. Have a good day.

=== [[March 2011|1 March 2011]] ===
I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is [[Greene County Conspiracy|very paranoid of cyber-bullies]] at this time. If you are coming in on restricted, unknown, or [[Chris and English|out-of-state-of-Virginia number]], please do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again. Message 1-5-8.

===[[April 2011|19 April 2011]]===
Hellooo, I'm not available to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?85bb6bbjb3cdw52 Listen here!]

=== c. [[May 2011]] ===
[[Autism|Hello. Leave message. Goodbye]].
<s>*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4HaqaJmYHQ Listen here!]</s> (privated)

=== 13 May 2011===
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Otherwise if this is an unsolicited call or you are a person I have not met personally before this call do NOT leave a message and do NOT dial this number again! I repeat: If I don't know you, we have not met personally before, do NOT dial this number again. Otherwise leave a message. I will get back to you or whatever. Have a good day.
<s>*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejDsO39UzxU Listen here!]</s> (deleted)

=== [[June 2011|20 June 2011]]===
Hello, you have reached the cellphone. Ye-listen, [[Chris and Reality|I screen my calls]], so it is very unlikely that I will ever pickup on you especially if I have not met you in person. So you're better off just leaving a message, and I will listen to it, I may or may not get back. Don't call my number again- ha-had repeatedly. So, yeah, with that, you have reached the cellphone, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, I may get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

<s>*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJj353Vb4S4 Listen here!]</s>
<s>*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ko58be75hfxos53 Download here!]</s> (both links deleted)

=== [[July 2011|2 July 2011]]===
Hello, please leave a message at the beep and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

<s>*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ttgxwn408260amp Download here!]</s> (deleted)

=== 15 July 2011===
Hello, you have [[Chris and English|reach sh-cell phone. Christian Chandler]]. Please leave your name, message, and phone number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*No recording.

=== [[December 2011|6 December 2011]]===
Hello, [[Chris and health|I'm sick]]. Don't call this number again. Otherwise leave a message at the beep... Have a good day...

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_Qw2P8aCZY Listen here!]

=== 9 December 2011 ===
Hello. Please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiEO8e0clmU&list=UUPvfRHS7wdHIvlApyeC4fuQ&feature=plcp Listen here!]

=== [[February 2012|11 February 2012]]===
Hello, all unsolicited calls will be deleted! Other than that, please leave your name, message, and telephone number, and we will considerably get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day!

<s>*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR5Ar5bTayQ Listen here!]</s>
<s>*[http://www.mediafire.com/?da8lcodm440fzkl Download here!]</s> (both links deleted)

=== [[April 2012|30 April 2012]]===

[''maniacal laughter''] You [[trolls]] got ''[[JenkinsJinkies|served]]''! [''maniacal laughter''] Oh, you know what to do after the beep.

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJNkYvLe7Bk Listen here!]

=== [[May 2012| 3 May 2012]] ===
Hello, leave your name message and telephone number after the beep. Have a good day.

*No recording

=== [[May 2012| 6 May 2012]] ===
Hello, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*No recording

=== [[May 2012| 20 May 2012]] ===
Hello, please leave your name, message, and telephone number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*No recording

=== [[June 2012| 4 June 2012]] ===
Your call is being forwarded to an "I don't give a damn" service! Do not stay on the line! Do not dial this number ever again in your lifetime! Goodbye!

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyWZN8USLgA&feature=plcp Listen here!]
*[http://www.2shared.com/audio/La_62LqD/ddd.html Download here!]

=== [[June 2012| 12 June 2012]] ===
Hello. [[Autism|I do not understand people]]. Leave me alone, or leave me a message with your name--telephone number, leave message...I'll get back to you...if I know you in person...or...somethin'. Whatever. Um... have a good day.

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ktad1ii64kdutpn Download here!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpCoGu7KWeA&feature=youtu.be Listen here!]

=== Between Mid-[[2012]] and Mid-[[2014]] ===
[''singing''] Believe it or not, this is Christian Chandler's phone. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be busy, or I'd pick up the phone. What the hell now? Believe it or not, I'm really [[stress]]ed.

<s>*[http://youtu.be/wvcgYjxUKz4 Listen here!]</s> (deleted)

===[[January 2015]]===
[''in an overly-feminine tone''] Hello, you have reached this cellphone. Leave your name and address and telephone number and I '''''may''''' get back to yooouu. Have a good day.

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Asr0yWbjtQc&feature=youtu.be Listen here!]

===[[June 2015]]===
''(in a voice not unlike a 50-year-old woman)'' Hello! You have reached Christine's CELLphone. Please leave your name, message, and telephone ''(voice cracks)'' number, and I may get back to you soon. Have a good day!

<s>*[https://youtu.be/PMEc066-6YE?t=18 Listen here!]</s> (deleted)

===[[December 2015]]===

''This message is based on George's message from the [[Seinfeld]] episode "[[Wikipedia:The Susie|The Susie]]".''

Believe it or not, Christine's not in, please leave a message at the beep! I must be busy or I'd pick up the phone. What am I doing? Believe it or not, I'm occupied!

<s>*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=33&v=3uZsU3QCGHI Listen here!]</s> (privated)

===[[July 2016]]===

Hi, You've reached Christine Chandler's Cell Phone. Please leave a message after the beep, I'll get to-back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bIV-ZCurJM Listen here!]

===[[February 2017]]===
Hello, you have reached Christine Chandler's cell phone. Please leave a message after the beep, and I might get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug-UwDXx0Vg Listen here!]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Chris and religion

2021-04-13T04:43:03Z

Vulpixie:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! (Facebook, 2013)}}

{{quote|So, I dare say with all due respect to the Lord: meh|Chris abandons the Christian God for [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] goddesses<ref>[[:File:IdeaGuyCWCreligion6.png]]</ref>}}

[[Image:NeptuniagoodbyeJC.png|thumb|[[China|The real reason Chris abandoned Christianity.]]]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''religious beliefs''' have long been a complicated matter. For most of his life, Chris would declare himself to be Christian, yet his stated religious convictions would often diverge starkly from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil, incorporating a grab bag of other beliefs from unrelated traditions and [[Family Guy|other sources]]. Moreover, Chris has long believed himself to be of unique spiritual importance, believing that he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]] and that he has magical powers. Already in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], his characters would regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions. Chris finally gave up on Christianity and started following the CPU goddesses from [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] on 17 [[December 2017]].<ref>[[:File:Sonichu_16_page-34.jpeg|Official renouncement of God]]</ref> Since then, under influence by the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Teen Troon Squad|others]], Chris has come to believe that he is a [[Tomgirl Saga|goddess]], [[CPU Blue Heart]], orchestrating an [[Dimensional Merge|apocalypse]] that will end in a [[Dimensions#1C-211987|heavenly new creation]]. Much of his mythology was [[Things Chris has ripped off|lifted]] from the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] anime. The result is an unholy amalgam of authentic religious traditions, troll forgeries and narcissism, mixed together with neither forethought nor consistency.

With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears [[Chris and his ego|what he wants]] to hear. Chris long espoused traditional Christian teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality while ignoring that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]] and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Chris's [[autism|narrow view of the world]] requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in the comics, and his [[true and loyal fanbase]] in the [[Chris and reality|real world]], share his religious beliefs. He has demanded that watchers worship him, and believes it feasible that he could convince half of the world population to join his personality cult.<ref>For comparison, Christendom, the world's largest religion, [https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/04/05/christians-remain-worlds-largest-religious-group-but-they-are-declining-in-europe/ makes up only 31%] of the world population.</ref>

==Delusions of godhood==
{{see also|Messiah complex}}

{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
[[File:EmperorChris.png|thumb|left|All hail Christian Weston Chandler, God-<s>Emperor</s> Mayor of [[CWCville]].]]

Beyond his [[Chris and his ego|self-infatuation]] visible from any of Chris's creative output, Chris had shown from an early period the nascent belief that he might have been specially chosen. Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate. In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God." More definite signs first emerged in late [[2009]], and have accreted over the decade since into Chris's current apotheosis.

Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stony state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_61 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon Chaotic Combo worshipping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the Ten Commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over one billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad mentality is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

{{quote|as a Goddess Mysef[sic], I am unable to worship in churches|Chris, June 2019<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris says, according to Jesus, dimensional merge will be finished soon]]</ref>}}

It was under the [[Idea Guys]]'s manipulation that Chris's gathering apotheosis came to a head. [[File:Sonichu 16 page-4.JPG|thumb|200px|Chris depicting how he came to share his body with a video game goddess.]]
In November 2017, Chris became obsessed with [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]], a video game/anime series. He declared a belief in body-sharing with a goddess character (who represents the Sega Dreamcast in the series) by consulting with [[Magi-Chan]], then [[Chris and money|leaving his Dreamcast console powered on for 24 hours]] in order to focus his own psychic power onto it and pull the goddess into his body. Since then, Chris has come to believe that he's actually a goddess to the Sonichu universe, leading to the creation of the Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu.

{{clear}}

==Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu==

[[File:The_Devotees_of_Chris_Chan_Sonichu_(DoCCS).jpg|thumb|TSSSF card dedicated to his loyal devotees.]]

Chris had some divine revelations, which he shared on 2 November 2019 in a series of tweets, these revelations are as follows<ref name="divinerev">[[November_2019_social_media_posts#Devotees_of_Chris_Chan_Sonichu|Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu]]</ref>:

*He is the godess of the Sonichu/Rosechu species, and is of a higher deity level than a CPU.
*His powers are more apparent and potent in C-197, but do exist in 1218.
*The terms "CWCans" and "CWCanism" does not feel or sound fitting for his religion.
*FoCCS and FoCWCS do not sound appealing, either.
*Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu (DoCCS) is chosen. Pronounced [[dox]], like Chris's favorite pasttime.

And thus, Chris's [[true and honest]] religion, DoCCS, was born.

The DoCCS all share [[kindness]] and [[Vanessa_AIM_Chat_2|loyalty]], which is a defining figure of a devotee. They also pray to Chris, and channel energy to him so that he can use his godess powers. <s>Chris</s> [[Spirit_possession#Sonichu|Sonichu]] has noted that it's far easier for <s>him</s> Chris to answer prayer in C-197, due to his additional power that he has access to in his Chris Chan Sonichu body.<ref>[[April_2020_social_media_posts#Chris_body_swaps_with_Sonichu_to_cope_with_missing_BABScon|Mentioned here]], Sonichu says: "She is Now, literally, in the position to fully and actively take and answer your Prayers, as the Goddess that she is."</ref>

Chris can also store this energy in [[magic stones]], and often wears these around his neck with the Sonichu medallion.<ref>Sightings [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_2_Reaction_Video|here]] and [[:File:July_2020_jewels.jpeg|here]], and many more.</ref> Chris used one of these stones to demonstrate his power, even in 1218, by [[PsychicPowers#Amethyst_stone|dropping it with as little movement as possible]], which, when scaled up to C-197 proportions would equate to miraculous healing. Chris thinks that the crystals contain healing power and that they can make you happy.<ref>[[August_2019_social_media_posts#Chris_is_all_in_on_Healing_Crystals|Twitter reply about healing crystals]]</ref>

===The First holy temple of DoCCS===

[[File:14bc_June_2019.jpg|thumb|The illustrious temple of the Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu]]

In late 2019, the First holy temple of DoCCS was consecrated.<ref>[[:File:14_Branchland_Court_TSSSF_card.jpeg|Temple's TSSSF card]]</ref> The temple has been a central in-between in traversing between this dimension (1218) and it's sister dimension (C-197). The whole property, including the gazebo and sheds have travelled back and forth from 1218 to C-197 many times. Unlike most temples, almost no DoCCS congregate there to worship, and instead the temple acts as private residence to their deity, Chris.

Upon reaching level 40 in Pokemon GO, Chris was able to put the temple forward for an additional consecration ceremony from Niantic (the creators of Pokemon GO) to become the truest and honestest PokeStop of them all, Which he did on 20 August 2020. However, despite numerous efforts<ref>[[August_2020_social_media_posts#Sonichu_levels_up.21|First mention of the nomination.]]</ref><ref>[[August_2020_social_media_posts#CWCSonichu_Temple_is_nominated|Further encouragement to aid the cause.]]</ref> to rally his devotees to help the nomination be accepted, his nomination was eventually denied.<ref>[[:File:PokeStop_rejected.png|Nomination rejected.]]</ref>

The gazebo on the property contains magic power, and using deity level powers can be used as a vessel for a portal between the dimensions, and can transport items and even living things.<ref name="gazebo">[[:File:CWCs_Temples_Gazebo_TSSSF.jpg|Information on this card]]</ref> Interestingly, in the TSSSF game, it's card is a "Unicorn" card and can be in a relationship with Pony OCs,<ref name="gazebo"></ref> though this is probably due to Chris using the card game wrong, rather than him regarding his gazebo as a unicorn.

{{clear}}

== Doctrines of the Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu ==
[[File:BarneySatanism.jpeg|thumb|Chris addresses a theological dispute.]]
Chris's convictions (not [[Chris and the law|that kind]]) are a confused tangle, ever shifting as [[weens]] twist his malleable perception of reality and his mental state continues to deteriorate. The below seeks to describe Chris's contemporary beliefs as accurately as possible, though information is subject to change in light of new revelations at at any time. Chris has hesitated to describe his beliefs as a religion. On 13 [[April 2018]], Chris claimed in a Twitter post that he no longer follows a religion, yet he is neither "atheist" nor "satanist", and over a year later would describe what follows as "a belief and faith system, not a religion".<ref>[[Believe in the OCs and Deities!]]</ref>

===Uzume Possession===
Initially, sharing his body with a clone of the CPU Goddess Uzume Tennouboshi was critial to Chris's newfound religion. Naming the clone that resided within his body as "Orange Spiral Seal", Chris believed that he had "the powers of the four main Goddesses, as well as [his] own powers." In a way, this was a bizarre continuation of his classic [[Love Quest]]. Not only did he believe that he could create a new CPU Goddess From The Ground-Up, but that, with the CPU, he will bring [[Crystal]] into reality and create her as a CPU Goddess, saying that is something that GodJesus would never grant to him. Chris's religion has little in the way of ethics, but he [[August 2019 social media posts#No Pizza Time for Chris|has indicated]] that he believes in the Hindu concept of ''karma'', administered by himself, as an instrument of his vengeance against the [[jerkops]] who tormented him in years past.

===CPU Blue Heart===

{{main|CPU Blue Heart}}

On 16 June 2018,<ref name="CPUBHInfo">[[May_2019_social_media_posts#CPU_One_Year_Anniversary|As mentioned here]]</ref> '''CPU Blue Heart''' (also known as '''Scarlett Celestia''')<ref>[[June_2019_social_media_posts#New_information_on_CPU_Blue_Heart|Name mentioned here]]</ref> came upon Chris and gave him her powers, making him CPU Blue Heart, goddess of comma nation, the Commodore consoles,<ref name="CPUBHInfo"></ref> Cwcville and all Sonichus and Rosechus,<ref name="divinerev"></ref> and everything else.<ref>Chris often suggests he is goddess of everything, since he asks people who aren't even Sonichus or Rosechus or in any of his provinces to pray to him, [[December_2018_social_media_posts#Chris.27s_psychiatrist_is_taken_aback|such as this post]].</ref> However, Chris only found out about this on the 3 August when his hubby Magi-chan told him.<ref>[[August_2018_social_media_posts#The_Awakening_of_a_CPU|Mentioned in this Twitter thread]]</ref> In the same way Chris had connected with his Dreamcast before, this time Chris connected with his [[Commodore 64]] to obtain her memories and soul.<ref>[[Sonichu_13#Transcript|Mentioned in the epilogue of Sonichu 13]].</ref> This possession has helped Chris develop his psychic and electric super powers, and helped the merge become closer as C-197s characters became more tangible in 1218. He also started feeling more energy surges and electricity flowing in him.<ref>[[:File:MergeComic4.jpg|Comic page with this information on]]</ref> Chris also felt long, loud belches as a result of the possession, which were obvious indicators of the impending merge, Chris was being given a lot of responsibility for the merge when he became CPU Blue Heart.<ref>[[:File:MergeComic5.jpg|Information here]]</ref> Chris also claims to be feeling heart attacks that he pulls himself back from,<ref>[[:File:MergeComic7.jpg|As mentioned on this comic page]]</ref> whilst these are obviously not [[Obesity|heart attacks]], they are certainly some sort of ongoing problem from Chris's [[health]], and these delusions are preventing him from getting the help he needs.

=== Pantheon ===
{{main|Hyperdimension Neptunia}}
In [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Goddess Emanuelle|August 2016]], Chris revealed that he thinks of God as a goddess. Chris has long considered [[gal-pal|women]] to be good and [[jerks|men]] to be evil, and since Chris does not want to think of himself or God as evil, he simply swapped the genders in his mind, making [[Tomgirl]] Christine and Goddess Emmanuelle.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Ben_Saint_-_Chatting_with_Chris-Chan</ref> During a conversation with [[Joshua Wise]], Chris revealed that he had forsaken Christianity altogether, believing instead in the CPU Goddesses from the anime ''Hyperdimension Neptunia''.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A#Chris abandons Christianity for Neptunia]]</ref>

Chris's view of God's nature, is [[naïve]] and even childish. He has used the fandom jargon acronym <abbr title="Original character">''OC''</abbr> as a rough [[CWC-ism]] synonym for ''god'', and uses this broad category to include Christ, men respected but not worshipped in their own separate traditions like the Buddha, ancient pagan gods such as Zeus, the ''Neptunia'' CPU goddesses and other anime characters, himself and his viewers and lazy [[My Little Pony|ponysonas]]. He is extremely syncretic, believing all of these, including the latter categories of clearly fictional characters intended and universally understood as such, to be real and divine. Monotheism, the cornerstone of Christendom that cannot be compromised, was apparently never assimilated into Chris's thought processes, allowing him to continue regard Christ as ''a'' god. He claims to converse with, and be friends with, Jesus and ''several other deities''. Nonetheless, Chris does not worship literally everybody: in a 2019 Twitter post, he was alarmed by [[Jacob Sockness]]'s apparent Satanism, saying that "no one should ever worship [[Beel|Satan]]."<ref>[[:File:BarneySatanism.jpeg]]</ref>

=== Worship ===

As late as [[August 2017]], Chris could be seen in a normal church, albeit irreverently wearing his [[unicorn cosplay]]. However, he has since stopped attending, believing that he is "unable to worship Jesus or any of the other deities" on virtue of being a goddess himself. In [[Believe in the OCs and Deities]], Chris appeals to his viewers to send positive thoughts to fictional characters, as though through telepathy, perhaps indicating that he believes divine power requires worship and oblations. (Implicit in this is Chris's long-standing secular belief that he has hundreds of millions of earnest followers across the globe.)

On 22 December 2018, in a long rant on Twitter about the [[Dimensional Merge Announcements|Merge]] (see the next section), Chris encouraged his audience to pray to him:

{{quote|I encourage Everyone to Keep Faith, and Pray to the CPUs, y’all may pray to me as well.|Chris, blaspheming<ref>[[December 2018 social media posts#Chris's psychiatrist is taken aback]]</ref>}}

He has made several such appeals in months since.

=== Afterlife and eschatology ===
Under the [[Idea Guys]]'s lingering influence, Chris believes that departed souls go to [[C-197]], the fictional universe that includes [[CWCville]], other [[Night Star|misbegotten OCs]] and various [[Chris and copyright|media franchises' universes]], which he believes objectively exist. He teaches that, upon death, one may merge with one's [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] counterpart there. Among those who have been depicted in their Sonichu form on the other side include disastrous German chancellor [[Nombie-zazis|Adolf Hitler]], serial killer and rapist [[Ted Bundy]] and Chris's late father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Only the truly wicked, such as [[Liquid Chris]], are denied this in the hereafter: Satan instead burns their bodies in 'hell's lava pool', purges them of their memories and sends their oblivious souls to be reincarnated.<ref>[[:File:Ibachandlercroppedsmaller.jpg|Solid Chris exhibits Liquid's fate, 2016]]</ref>

Since the autumn of [[2018]], Chris has taught that we are living in the latter days. From a mixture of off-hand comments by comic artists and several [[weens]] foddering him with misinformation and dumb inside jokes, Chris thinks that beginning in [[November 2018]], the real world (or 'Dimension 1218', as he calls it) is in the process of combining with C-197, in what he calls the [[Dimensional Merge]]. Chris has attributed miscellaneous events past and present, real and fictional, ranging from tragedies like the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Centre's destruction]] to salad recalls,<ref>[https://archive.md/H3gJk Chris attributes the WTC attacks to the Merge, 28 October 2019]</ref> to the impending Merge. Originally projected to be complete before [[January 2019|New Year's 2019]], Chris maintains still that the Merge is just about the corner. Chris foretells massive destruction heralding the Merge that will result in the deaths of about half the world's population, as well as half of the fictional characters from C-197. [[Chris and his ego|Naturally]], Chris, being the goddess in charge of managing this brouhaha, will be spared: everyone else must take their chances. Survivors will be able to enjoy the company of their favorite cartoon characters in the flesh, as well as their deceased relatives transformed into Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

=== Mysticism and sorcery ===
{{main|Magical thinking}}
As early as [[2003]], Chris has invoked curses against his enemies: most famous is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], borrowed from ''Dragonball Z'', which he had employed against [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. His magical thinking has been directed in various ways, as when he thought he could shift his [[obesity|body fat]] about by watching [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|hypnotic internet videos]]. In recent years, he has embraced several occultic teachings and practises from the [https://encyclopedia2.thefreedictionary.com/New+Age New Age] movement: out-of-body experiences, chakras and special powers associated with crystals, among others.

== Chris and Christianity: Historical beliefs ==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all [[Jacob Sockness|unrighteousness]], [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], [[Etsy|covenantbreakers]], [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Program from Chris's baptism.]]

The first church Chris and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris traditionally identified himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of ''him'', so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the {{w|Southern Baptist}} and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not spiritually identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian.

===Concept of Emanuelle===
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]

Traditionally, Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent male God. He also accepted Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He was reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God (despite other Abrahamic sects using completely different words for Him). In effect, Chris frequently referred to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of {{w|Binitarianism|Binity}}, a deviation from the mainstream Christian concept of the {{w|Trinity}} ("The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit") that his churches would regard as heretical.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his ego|egotism]] he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of an instrument of his own will than a supreme being to Whom he is subject. In Chris's view of God, the Almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they malign Chris. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did, and Chris invoked God numerous times in his threats to Adam.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his world-view, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He has been commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...". He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the {{w|Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini}}, Chris attributes most of his impetus to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. “I'd say my spirit is active while I am awake, but it does more when I am at rest or sleeping,” he wrote in 2014.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref> His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that his prophesied daughter must be white.

Visions from God supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], then [[PandaHalo]] and finally [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if He exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]], an idea which Chris may have later taken to heart.

===Afterlife===
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris.<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to Heaven and bad deeds sending them to Hell is a common one, most Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. Defying this, Chris has stated that one goes to Heaven or Hell based completely on personal actions. He thinks that he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#1 January 2010|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to Hell, and need to become heterosexuals to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to Heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for Hell for making fun of people over the Internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster. In [[Common Questions#09 January 2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], [[Thorg]] questioned Chris for threatening damnation against his Internet adversaries:

{{quotebox|"You often attempt to scare your [[trolls]] by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?"}}

To which Chris responded:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

Further complicating Chris's ideas of the afterlife, he believes in ghosts, going so far as to claim that he might have seen one.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, {{w|Limbo}} is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. {{w|Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide}} and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied. His belief that suicide leads one to Limbo may stem from the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "{{w|Death (South Park)|Death}}", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

=== Reincarnation ===
[[File:IsThisMyBodyorYoursCard.jpg|thumb|200px|When you're a headmaster, the possibilities are endless]]
Chris has said that he's open to the idea of reincarnation, common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions. In 2009 he stated flatly that he believed in the concept,<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor]]</ref> but in 2014 he seemed more uncertain, writing “It is possible, but I'm not sure.”<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>. He has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris has nothing to do with them and seems to have lifted the notion from [[anime|somewhere else]].

Chris has suggested that he is himself a reincarnation of various people. In [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], Chris's [[Comic Chris|fictional counterpart]] is the reincarnation of the [[ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], though he does not appear to believe this about himself in real life. However, during the epilogue of [[Sonichu_12#Episode_26:_Prideful|''Sonichu'' Episode 26]], Chris mentions a real-world dream in which he discovered he had been a (true and honest) [[Homos|lesbian]] hippie who attended {{w|Woodstock}} in a recent past life. He credits this dream with his realization that he is a "female soul" and decision to identify as a transsexual as opposed to a [[Tomgirl|cross-dresser]], further calling the psychological validity of his gender identity into question. Besides his own reincarnation, Chris's explanation of [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|what happened to Liquid Chris]] in the ''Sonichu'' canon mentions Liquid's soul being cleared of all memory of previous incarnations before being reincarnated, as what Chris considers an ironic punishment for someone who dared impersonate him.

Chris believes that in other [[dimensions]], people have the innate ability to swap bodies with others, even inanimate robots.

=== Sin ===
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}
{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}
{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]]}}

[[File:John Asperchu.JPG|thumb|right|200px|Take note, Chris.]]
Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His hatred of the homos had nothing to do with the prohibition of sodomy in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion. Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to Hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris believed that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] and genuinely to atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they[sic] have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

Chris clearly does not follow the Christian concept of the seven deadly sins, as he commits [[death threats|wrath]], [[Liquid Chris|envy]], [[obesity|gluttony]], [[monthly tugboat|sloth]], [[Chris and money|greed]], [[virgin with rage|lust]] and [[Chris and his ego|pride]] constantly.

=== Forgiveness ===
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of forgiveness immediately prior to Rosechu brutally injuring and sexually assaulting [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in vengeance for [[Pickle|comparatively innocuous actions]].]]

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as he goes on to curse and scream at them later on.

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made an honorable plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|threatening to set fire to his business]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris's show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

However, Chris has on occasion shown some capacity to genuinely forgive and move on, as shown at [[MAGfest]] where he was seen making up with [[Adam Stackhouse]] (albeit after 11 years). Such forgiveness has not been extended to the [[jerkops]], however.

=== Apostasy ===
For years before the [[Idea Guys]] seized the opportunity to infuse patent absurdities into Chris's mind, Chris appeared to have become somewhat disenchanted with God. Traditional theology has long dealt with the ''problem of evil'' in books Chris is unlikely to read any time soon. Despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus was backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], God has nevertheless imparted upon him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seemed to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer was apparently like ordering a pizza: as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it. Since Chris hasn't gotten exactly what he has prayed for, the fault must lie with God. In a farewell [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial, he wrote that "God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx."

On 7 September 2013, Chris cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[Jerkop]]:

{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

He explained the reasons for his disillusionment in a [[May 2013]] letter to [[Kim Wilson|Kim]]:

{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)}}

Soon thereafter, inspired by ''{{w|Futurama}}'', he seemed to divorce himself from a Christian conception of God altogether, choosing to believe in a rather capricious, relativistic deity:

{{quote|The Higher Force above us is Always Messing with each of our individual minds every day, rather each of you call him God, Emanuelle, Zeus, Buudah, or even the individual Destiny of your own. I am Not an Atheist, because I Sincerely Believe in the Higher Force of Above Us, even Jesus may be the Higher Force's Son. But every religion will have you believing in the One Same Higher Force. Right Or Wrong, It is truly set up to each Individual Perception of Every Individual Soul among us the Billions of People on this Big Blue Marble among Marbles in the Universe.|Chris on Facebook, August 2014.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#tl;dr]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] — she's still as much of a slut as the rest of her [[Rosechu (species)|species]]. Through Angelica, it is obvious that Chris knows almost nothing about Catholicism and seems to think it's just a variety of Protestantism with nuns — he refers to Catholic priests as [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu|"pastors"] and almost certainly doesn't know the Catholic Bible is different from the one generally used by Protestants. Also, Angelica's home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with. He does, at least, realise that Catholicism is a form of Christianity, although he probably has no idea what its relationship to Protestantism is.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, deference to a cleric on ethical matters is far more typical for Catholics than Protestants). It didn't even occur to Chris that what his pastor said to him wouldn't apply to a Catholic, because Chris is incapable of seeing things from perspectives besides his own.

Given that he takes his own religion ''à la carte'', Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and the relationship between Protestantism and other kinds of Christianity. He has never been pressed for comment on Eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.

===Other religions===

''See also: [[Chris and race#Jews|Chris and race]]''

Most of Chris's opinions towards non-Christian faiths have been culled from ''[[South Park]]'' and other television series. For example, on 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment, Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref>

"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and [[Sonichu 11]]" reveal that Chris has a somewhat basic awareness of {{w|Judaism}}, probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and {{w|Buddhism|Buddhists}} don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich [sic] Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park'') and states he is "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish; he incidentally subscribes to his father's view that Snyder, [[Megan Schroeder]] and others were secretly directing the [[trolls]] to ruin Chris's life. [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

Chris has described "{{w|Mormonism|Mormans}}" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much Chris knows about {{w|Unitarianism|Unitarianism}} (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

{{Wise|Islam is the place to go to for exorcising lustful demons; mainly by someone [[Bluespike| shoving a medallion into Chris's ass]] while shouting "Allahu Ackbar!}}

In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan the Moralf**|article]], he hints at a hatred of Islam. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> In all likelihood he knows nothing about Islam or the Koran, and is not known to have ever publicly commented on the religion directly. Besides using the popular Western image of the [[Buddha belly|fat Buddha]] (actually a [[China|Chinese]] monk) and mentioning "Buddha" a few times, Chris has never shown any knowledge of oriental religions, let alone any opinion of them. Indeed, [[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in {{w|Taoism}} seemed to be a concept he couldn't process, and even seemed to make him uneasy.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

===Atheism===
{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly [[Chris and Hypocrisy|wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork]], following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}
Chris's opinion of the irreligious is the most vacillating and incoherent, and incidentally one of the best documented. [[Ruckersville, VA|Unsurprisingly]], he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". In his [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gave "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist, although his opinion on this is unclear.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref>, and as the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Messiah complex]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Template:DYK

2021-03-01T04:11:16Z

Vulpixie: Group 8 "throws rocks at women" erroneously linked to Fridays After Five, which does not concern the incident. Link replaced with McIntire Park, in which the rock-throwing sighting occurred.

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|1=
*...that Chris claims that he is no longer [[So Need a Cute Girl|stuck as a]] [[virgin with rage]] after [[Mia Hamm|hiring a prostitute]]?
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*...that Chris, [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|in his own words]], buys "[[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[List of toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris has committed [[28 October 2011|assault and battery]] against [[Michael Snyder]] and [[26 December 2014|illegally pepper sprayed]] the [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]?
*...that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child with his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]?
*...that Chris attempted to fix [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]], and somehow made it make less sense?
*...that <s>[[Chris]]</s> <s>[[BILLY MAYS]]</s> <s>[[Allison Amber]]</s> [[Brendan Fraser]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris once tried to get [[Nowacking|a MLP fandom voice actor]] to unblock him on [[Twitter]] by [[BronyCon_2018#Nowacking_rejection|gifting a toy and a drawing]]?
*...that an [[Idea Guy]] [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] Chris into believing that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|his imaginary daughter Crystal]] would be brought into the world by [[:File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|Chris anally raping Sonichu]]?
:*...that Chris is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#Edit details|blood, tears and semenal descent?]]
*...that Chris can put his [[January 2020 social media posts#Magic Bottle|energy into crystals]] and drink that same energy to rejuvenate himself, thus creating energy in the process?
|2=
*...that Chris [[Polyamorous marriage|got married]] to [[Cryzel Rosechu|a 15 year old Rosechu]]?
*...that [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|this website, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Misc E-mails#Uri Geller Emails|Uri Geller]], a famed magician, tried to give Chris a reality check when he sought psychic training?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself]]?
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris and mental healthcare#Relationship Management Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob]] wanted Chris to [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
:*...that Chris is working on it!?
*...that Chris did not discover [[Mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris has performed [[Dick Licker; that is I|oral sex on Magi-Chan]]?
|3=
*...that Chris believes that he could influence the international company Hasbro to [[My Little Pony Protests|cancel a ''My Little Pony'' reboot]] because he told them that the characters didn't like being in it?
*...that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
*...that Chris recycles his own [[semen]] by drinking it?
:*...that Chris believed that drinking Fanta before cumming would give his semen the same taste?
:*...that Chris [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta: Semen Flavor| mixed semen with Fanta]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris called his [[Chandler Family Tree|family]] a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris has said [[Niggos]] only once, but has used the actual N-word multiple times?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|stuck anal beads up his asshole]] but threw them away after using them because they were covered in shit?
*...that you should [[Believe in the OCs and Deities!|believe in the OCs]]?
*...that serial killer Ted Bundy was actually a framed [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] named [[Bundychu]]?
:*...and that [[Bundychu]] is friends with [[Bob Chandler]]?
|4=
*...that Chris [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|reinterpreted]] one of [[Lovely Weather|his characters]] when he believed that she had taken the form of [[Jessica Quinn|his newest sweetheart]]?
*...that Chris believed he cured his [[autism]] by listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Chris and stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the Law|imprisoned]] in [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]]?
*...that Chris told [[Barbara]] about his [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|masturbation]], but [[Bob]] was not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Self-inflicted taint wound|slashed his taint]] open as part of a DIY gender transition attempt?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|the pickle man]] [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|tricked Chris again]]?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that Chris describes World War II as [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|"a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!"]]?
*...that Chris's [[CWC Ancestry|23andMe DNA results]] indicate that he has no [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] ancestry, but is 0.3% [[Chris and Spanish|Spanish]]?
|5=
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do a single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
*...that Chris [[Power|once knew a man from Nantucket]]?
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his fat contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris the Card Gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris once [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|said Pain is a fun game]], despite having no trophies for it on PSN?
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
:*...that Chris has no idea what [[Naïve]] actually means?
*...that [[Bryan Bash]] sent [[Hooker incident|a handful of hookers to Chris' house]]?
|6=
*...that [[Jerkhief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
*...that Chris loves [[McDonald's]], while his [[dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*...that Chris's name used to be "Christopher", [[Christopher's name change|until a man in a bear suit misheard his name and called him "Christian"]]?
:*...that his [[Chris and Spanish|Spanish]] name is Ricardo?
:*...and that his legal name is now [[Transgender|Christine]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out#Grip 'n' Sip|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[/cow/]]?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
:*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*...that [[Brushfire Video|a male idiot tried to put out a fire]] while Chris just stood there and watched?
*...that [[Liquid Chris]]'s real name is [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]?
:*...that Solid Chris's name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]?
*...that [[Jerkops]] are actually mall security "in colors other than blue and black"?
*...that the ''[[Saw]]'' movies are some of [[Common Questions#31 December 2009|Chris's favorite movies]]?
|7=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[Tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris [[Imaginary friends|had a conversation with]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] while in a meeting with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]?
:*...that Chris fired a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] at Walsh [[Jackie Chat 5|in the same meeting]]?
:*...that this incident is what got him suspended from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]?
*...that Chris insulted a [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|mentally disabled]] fan?
*...that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
:*...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
*...that Chris was hoping to celebrate his birthday and eating pancakes instead of attending his [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral the same day?
*...that Chris believes himself to be a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that Chris and [[Jacob Sockness]] aren't dating... yet?
*...that Chris believes that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC (27 December 2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Christian's Update 13 September 2008|real]]?
*...that Chris attempted to [[dox]] multiple people, while not realizing that just posting a list of Twitter handles isn't doxing?
|8=
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that Chris has dreamed about [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|having sex with his mom]]?
*...that Chris believes if ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G4 isn't renewed to Season 14, [[Akan]] will [[My Little Pony Protests|invade Equestria]] and eventually [[1218|our own universe]]?
*...that [[Barb]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[McIntire Park|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
*...that even now, Chris does not think he is [[Obesity|fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[CWC Blog#29 November 2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|a real date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dreams]]?
*...that Chris [[Chris lost Crystal|recorded himself screaming at a toilet]]?
|9=
*...that [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]]?
:*...that [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]] serves as the spiritual successor to that band?
*...that Chris [[Homos|used to be a massive Homophobe]]?
:*...that Chris is now a proud member of the [[SLGBTQ]] community?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck]], but never once in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Gal pal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[Boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]] rocks?
*...that [[CWCville]] is pronounced as "quick-ville"?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music]]?
*...that Chris has no idea what [[Autism]] really is?
|10=
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''[[Seinfeld]]''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#College Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at random) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
*...that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel the Witch]] isn't blonde with devil horns, she has grey hair and wears a horned helmet?
*...that Chris actually [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] Sonichu?
*...that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[June 2015|Sega knows]] about [[Sonic Boom Protests|Chris's attempts]] to [[Keep Sonic Original|change Sonic's]] [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|arms back]]?
*...that [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of [[Chris's birthday|age]], [[race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Chris and money|socio-economic]] [[Financhu Crisis|situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
|11=
*...that Chris once [[Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes|visited an abandoned sanatorium]] to leave an offering to the haunting spirits, only to have it removed by a [[Weening|ween]] mere hours later?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
:*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Stephanie Bustcakes|female prostitute]]?
*...that Chris thinks that those with [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true [[Autism|autistic]] people?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] helped host the [[WTJU Marathon]] back in [[1990s#1990|1990]]?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent]]?
*...that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*...that Chris's failure is in defiance of genetics: his [[Bob Chandler|father]] was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*...that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [https://www.youtube.com/user/CWCAnimatedLibrary animated series]?
*...that the [[Dimensional Merge]] will bring fictional characters and [[imaginary friends]] into reality?
:*...that the new [[dimension]] will be named 1C-211987, a mashup of our current dimension 1218 and Chris's fantasy dimension C-197?
*...that Chris is [[JenkinsJinkies|as wild as a serial raper]]?
:*...that Chris tried to scare us with a ghost dog story?
:*...that Chris tried to disguise himself as a troll?
|12=
*...that [[Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
:*...and that Chris [[Facebook#Game Place|believed it too]]?
*...that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*...that Chris believes he has [[Common Questions#26 January 2010|over a billion people]] in his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]?
*...that Chris wanted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*...that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*...that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*...that Chris has been the dog in [[America]]'s favorite game, '[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]' for his whole life?
*...that [[Common Questions#31 December 2009|Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes]]?
*...that Chris thinks you're "[[10 September 2009|trolling stupid]]"?
*...that [[A-Logging|A-Log]] is Chris-Chan 2.0?
:*...that [[Michael J. Hirtes]] is A-Log 2.0 (and thus Chris-Chan 3.0)?
|13=
*...that despite being the [[Chris and his ego|so-called]] [[CPU]] of the Commodore systems, Chris [[naive|doesn't know]] how to turn a [[Commodore 64]] on?
*...that Chris stuck his [[duck]] in some [[Cwcsicle|snow]]?
*...that [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]?
*...that [[Alec Benson Leary]] imprisoned four [[Rosechu]]s in his [[Asperchu parodies#Basement Rosechus|basement]]?
*...that Chris drove [[Ryan Cash]] to [[Chris and death#Suicide|suicide]] when he temporarily cancelled ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''?
*...that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]?
*...that [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]?
*...that Chris goes to a [[Impulse Gay Social Club]]?
*...that the [[United States of America|American]] government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit around the house doing little to nothing?
*...that Chris [[Autism Awareness E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|14=
*...that Chris believes that ''{{w|Who Framed Roger Rabbit}}'' is [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|an accurate depiction]] of [[Chris and reality|reality]]?
*...that Chris believes that [[CWCville]] is real?
**...that in the days before [[Meditation#Astral projection|Astral projection]], a dance mat in his room was [[CWCville#Geography and location|one way]] to reach CWCville?
*...that Chris got [[Polyamorous marriage|married]]... [[Magi-Chan|to]] [[Cryzel Rosechu|four]] [[Mewtwo|of]] [[Sylvana|his]] [[imaginary friends]]?
*...that Chris’s [[BronyCon 2017#Dancing with Magi-Chan|dance partner]] in BronyCon 2017 was also an imaginary friend?
*...that Chris’s investment strategy is to [[Chris and money#Lottery|stake $8 on the lottery]] every week?
*...that ''[[My Little Pony|Equestria Girls]]'' is ranked #2 in Chris's [[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Top Movies List|Top Movies List on Facebook]]?
*...that Chris once had a strong disdain for the ''[[Harry Potter]]'' franchise [[Chris and brand loyalty|due to a perceived rivalry with]] the ''[[Pokémon]]'' franchise?
*...that Chris believes that [[The Simpsons|Lisa Simpson]] will be the President of the United States after the [[Dimensional Merge]]?
**...that [[November 2020 social media posts#.23LisaSimpson2020|Chris seemingly voted for Lisa Simpson in the 2020 Election]], despite endorsing [[Joe Biden]] to take over the Presidency after [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]?
*...that [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]], even though Chris now identifies as [[transgender]] and isn't actively growing facial hair?
*...that Chris spends a lot of time in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]], in spite of a traumatic experience with [[Abusive babysitter|a babysitter locking him in there]]?
*...that the [[trolls]] may have [[2012 Poster campaign|hired a skywriter]]?
}}<noinclude>
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* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
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