CWCki - User contributions [en]

14 Branchland Court

2026-10-10T20:44:28Z

WarnerBro:

{{Split Off}}
{{Protip|CHRIS DOES NOT LIVE HERE ANYMORE. We highly discourage visiting to take photos or troll Barb. She’s an old lady who deserves some peace in her twilight years.}}
{{quote|No burglar would ever want anything in this house.|Chris, being surprisingly ([[Manchester High Leaks|almost]]) modest.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#No burglar would steal Chris's stuff|Mailbag 44]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Number 14 was aflame in '14. LOL|Chris, on the two-year anniversary of his [[2014 house fire|house fire]].<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Number 14 was aflame in '14. LOL]]</ref>}}
[[File:14bc-2024.jpg|thumb|The house in 2024.]]
[[File:August2021House1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2021.]]
[[Image:ChrisHouseMap.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
[[File:14BCBEV.jpg|thumb|A rough drawing of a top-down view of the house in [[2009]]. This cutaway shows the second floor, with [[Chris's room]], the [[kitchen]], living room, bathroom and an unknown area visible.]]

'''14 Branchland Court''', [[Ruckersville, VA]], often abbreviated to '''14BC''', and also currently known as '''[[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Sonichu Headquarters]]''' and the '''Temple of CWC Sonichu'''<ref>[[:File:CWCs Temples Gazebo TSSSF.jpg]]</ref> – is the last bastion of [[autism]]. This was the vile lair of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], up until his [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrest in 2021]]. Currently, it is inhabited by [[Christopher's name change|Christopher's ghost]], Chris's mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]],<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC"/> the surviving [[Chandler Cats|Chandler cats]],<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC"/> and Chris's dog [[Clover and Snoopy|Clover]].<ref name="BarbVisit">[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> It was a white two-story house with dark red trimming (which faded to ivory and pink respectively) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of Ruckersville, although since its renovation has been repainted in beige with dark green shutters. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house is just past the local trailer park and nestled in a lower middle-class suburban community. It was built in [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], and with no major work done from [[1986]]<ref>[[:File:14BranchlandCourt.png]]</ref> to [[2014]], the house shows its age with its tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding.

Chris and his family have notoriously spent decades constantly filling up the house with tons of garbage and junk, earning it the nickname of '''"The Hoard"'''. In earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday in [[2002]], for instance), the house seemed reasonably tidy; but, in his [[Tour of Chris's House|first video tour]], Chris kept referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has only grown fuller and fuller ever since. "Clutter" is, of course, a grievous understatement; the entire house is packed with garbage, to the point where junk fills up entire rooms and reach within two feet of the ceiling (the living room was, for a while, basically inaccessible due to all the accumulated junk). Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid, impassable slabs of filth like in the living room, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

Of the three Chandlers, Barb was the biggest hoarder, and one of the biggest obstacles to cleaning the place aside from the general laziness of the family. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] revealed that Chris's parents were aware of the alarming implications of the house's condition (with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and feared that Chris's video tours could've elicited the attention of the [http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/LHD/ThomasJefferson/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. In the wake of Bob making that remark, [[weens]] made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless, like most efforts to get the state to intervene in Chris's sorry life.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to [[Chris and work#Chores|simple maintenance]], like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts seemed to amount to little more than preventing himself from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis. Barb apparently threatened to throw him out of the house if he were to attempt to dispose of some of her hoard of useless shit.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a [[Chris and electronics|computer]], but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Whether or not Barb did it to stop Bob from using the computer is unknown, but at any rate he did.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

In [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] to [[Rocky Shoemaker]] in 2011, it was revealed that 14 Branchland Court was infested and that the parasitic infestation caused [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] to be "covered in bug bites" before [[Death of Bob Chandler|his death from heart disease]].

On 10 [[January 2014]], Chris reported that the house had sustained major structural damage from an [[2014 house fire|early-morning house fire]] following an electrical shortage. Chris, Barb, the dogs, Lucy the cat, and other possessions made it out safely, and they spent about a year in a [[Rental House|rental house]] – which they predictably completely trashed – before moving back to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[December 2014]]. Although Chris was temporarily detained in jail after his misadventure on the [[26 December 2014|26th]], he was later released on bail and moved back into his house in [[January 2015]].

The house was vacant between the time of Chris and Barb's separation after the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] fallout, and the first few weeks of the [[Jail Saga]] following Chris's arrest. A [[Kiwi Farms]] user confirmed that Barb returned to the house starting on, or at some point before, [[August 2021|August 29th 2021]].<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC">[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Status of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> As of 2023, it appears that 14 Branchland Court is finally receiving at least some of the TLC it deserves, as recent fan visits have found the lawn being clipped and cleared of rubbish, and portions of the all-consuming hoard within having been extricated into bins to be disposed of, suggesting that someone has been paid to help Barb maintain the property.<ref>[[Fan visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS]]</ref>

Following the dismissal of Chris's case in [[August 2023]], his car was spotted at 14 Branchland Court on 4 [[September 2023]]. Chris retrieved his possessions from the house, such as some [[2021_Lost_Commissions|commissioned artwork he never finished]] from [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|two years ago]]. In [[April 2024]], during a visit to 14 Branchland Court, Chris filmed himself collecting gravel from the front yard for selling on [[OfficialCWCmart]].<ref>[[Harvesting Process, Gravel at the Sonichu Temple]]</ref>

==History==
{{See also|Property tax assessment}}

14 Branchland Court was built in 1977 on a lot of 0.56 acres (2,300 m2.<ref>[[Property tax assessment]]</ref>

Chris's parents presumably purchased 14 Branchland Court at some point between their marriage on 7 June 1980 (at which point they were still living in the Richmond area) and Chris's birth 20 months later. A plaque which hangs above Chris's bed in some videos (notably [[All Star]]) indicates that his parents' nickname for the house was '''"Wes-Chandler-Ton Manor"'''.

Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from his birth on 24 [[February 1982]] until his family moved to the [[Richmond]] area in [[1993]] in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. Initially, Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in [[2000]] after Chris graduated [[high school]]. Chris wrote it as being his home address as of 20 June.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 1]]</ref> In [[Greene County Conspiracy|a video]] released in [[May 2010]], Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. Chris naturally attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system, but as this article explains, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.

The original number of the house was '''46 Branchland Court''' - this is the number given in [[A Week With Christian Chandler]] (2000) and [[Cole Smithey]]'s 1994 postcard to Barbara. It was changed to 14 sometime after 2000.

<center><gallery>
File:0617-AMom&DadMoment.jpg
File:0628-JustChristian3.jpg
File:0614-Mom&Christian.jpg
File:0627-AFather&SonMoment.jpg
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==First House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain".|Chris to [[Julie]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}

[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|right|[[Wikipedia:Inferno (Dante)#Canto III: Vestibule of Hell|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.]]]]

In two videos uploaded on 27 [[March 2009]], Chris provided a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so cluttered that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court circa 2009.

{{clear}}

===Ground Floor===
[[File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|250px|Bob in the family room.]]

The north corner is what Chris describes as the '''[[Chris and music|music]] room''' (probably where Bob kept his extensive music collection), which was primarily the domain of Barbara, who frequently slept there. A small '''bathroom''' is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the '''utility room''', in which the family kept a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The '''family room''' (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by Bob, who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, then they were never filmed.

{{clear}}

===Top Floor===
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|Barbara moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in April [[2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

'''[[Chris's room|Chris's bedroom]]''' is in the north corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the east corner, is a filthy '''bathroom''', which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown/green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The '''[[kitchen]]''' and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris used for Internet access at the time was in this part of the house, as was a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] here over a webcam feed. This implies that Chris's parents never actually went upstairs, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wanted]] undisturbed (well, [[Bob Walks In|mostly undisturbed]]). The '''living room''', filled with garbage to the point of uselessness, is across the stairway from Chris's room. It is likely the same as Chris's current '''[[Chris's room#Work room|work room]]''' used for storing toys and shooting videos.

{{clear}}

===Yard===
{{main|Yard (14 Branchland Court)}}

==Second House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House II}}

[[File:14bc1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2012.]]

In 2013, a video was leaked by [[Alec Benson Leary]] showing the state of Chris's home since the last tour he gave in 2009. Needless to say, especially in light of eyewitness reports of his front yard in 2012, the house became even ''more'' of a mess in the following years. Whereas Chris had at least ''some'' room to maneuver in the 2009 Tour Video, here, the passageways have become so narrow and jam-packed that even he complains about all of the clutter being in his way and begins sounding increasingly [[Stress|annoyed]] as he attempts to navigate the claustrophobic environment. The kitchen, in particular, has become an unsightly mess--the Chandlers apparently couldn't be half-assed to put away their groceries, so it's strewn all over the place. The living room, already an ocean of rubbish, has gotten worse, with the accumulated clutter now towering over Chris to the point where he has to stretch to get footage of it. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the [[ShowerClean|last video Chris released of him cleaning it]] - and he even admits so himself in the video.

Even the stairs of his home have become cluttered with nonsense such as Christmas ornaments, boxes, and bags, which could spell disaster if Chris or his mother have to evacuate the premises. Also notable is the fact that every so often, Chris can be observed picking up random pieces of garbage from the floor as well.

In [[Chris and his ego|typical Chris-Chan fashion]], he describes his room as "the cleanest of the whole house", despite it having unsightly masses of clothes everywhere and even an unmade bed that he couldn't be bothered to at least straighten up before making this ill-advised video.

When he steps outside, he basically confirms what trolls have documented as early as 2012: that his lawn is ''completely'' overgrown to the point where it has utterly consumed one of the structures in his yard. Also unsurprising is the fact that after Bob's death, the garden shed has been completely abandoned.

Given his commentary, it ''almost'' seemed like Chris acknowledges that he has kept his home in a very unacceptable condition....right until he blames [[Borb|his parents]] for being "hoarders" and [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|totally shifting blame away from himself]], ''despite'' being the "man" of the house.

By this time, the bug infestation appears to have been gotten rid of, or at least contained. It was stated before that the infestation was so bad that Chris was confined to his room in order to avoid getting bitten, but in this video, no bugs are seen and Chris makes no mention of them.

==2014 house fire==
[[Image:14 Branchland Court on Fire - Copy.jpg|thumb|right|Witness image of 14 Branchland Court on fire. On Facebook, Chris blamed Keurig for causing the fire, but later let slip in an email that it was plugged into a "heavy-duty" extension cord in the basement bathroom.]]

{{Main|2014 house fire}}

On 10 January 2014, a fire broke out at the Chandler household. According to Chris, this was caused by a worn extension cord plugged into a coffee machine, which sparked and started the blaze. Chris, his mother, the beagles, and Lucy (one of the cats) made it out safely, surprising when you consider how much clutter was obstructing the stairways. The firefighters could not effectively navigate the house through either door and were forced to enter through the windows. Sadly, one of the cats (revealed to be Scamper by Chris in February 2016) perished in the fire from smoke inhalation and was later buried in the backyard.

The Chandlers escaped with little more than the clothes on their backs. Chris wrote that he was able to take his wallet, medication for his mother, some clothes, and his iPhone. The day after the fire, he and his mother were allowed to reenter the structure, and he learned to his relief that many of his personal possessions, including his games, his computers, and his artwork, had survived. His [[Lego]] [[high school]] survived, albeit partially melted. Chris was also observed on [[Miiverse]] shortly after the fire, suggesting that he managed to save his [[Nintendo]] 3DS or Wii U at some point. However, it can be assumed that much of the hoard suffered fire, smoke, and/or water damage.

As completely tragic as this incident was, it did not come as much of a surprise, given Barbara's hoarding and Chris's unwillingness or inability to control his mother's compulsions or properly clean. As pointed out by quite a few concerned people, the house had ''always'' been a health and safety hazard, and it was only a matter of time before disaster struck. Sadly, Chris was unable or unwilling to act on this well-meaning advice, and, as a result, reaped what he and his family had sown.

Chris and his mother stayed at a [[Rental House|rental house]] in nearby [[wikipedia:Barboursville, Virginia|Barboursville]] for most of 2014 as repairs to 14 Branchland Court were made. They also rented a storage locker. To the shock of absolutely no one, Chris and Barb managed to trash that house up as well; photos taken by Chris showed rodent shit on the house's carpeting, and [[Rental House Tour|eyewitness reports]] showed that the conditions in the rental house were basically the same as they were at 14 Branchland Court. Trolls reported in [[April 2015]] that the house was still vacant four months after Chris and Barb moved out.

For reasons which are not entirely clear, the renovation of the house took much longer than anticipated. Nevertheless, the worst fears, that the house would be condemned or the renovations would not be finished, were unrealized. In December 2014 and January 2015, the Chandlers moved back in.

==Post-fire renovation==

[[File:14bc215.jpg|thumb|left|A renovated 14BC.]]

On the 6th of December, 2014, Chris announced on [[Facebook]] that his home had finally been repaired, and he would be moving back in near the start of the [[2015|new year]]. Ever a busy man, Chris managed to fit a [[26 December 2014|run-in with the law on Boxing Day, followed by two days in jail]] into his moving schedule. Once he was released on bond on 29 December, Chris was shortly back to complaining about having a "Charlie Horse [sic]" from moving his mother's hoard back to the house.

After Chris's second hearing in April started and finished half an hour early, and they failed to make it in, the Christorians who took it upon themselves to attend decided to make the most of their visit and go on a tour of the major places in Chris' life, including 14 Branchland Court. The photographs they took showed that the Chandler headquarters had been modernized, and no longer looked like ''total'' shit. This is partially due to the modernized exterior, and partially due to most of the hoard still being in storage. Photographs also showed some sort of outhouse in the backyard raised off the ground, and soon to be full of the hoard.

Other notable changes:

*The [[kitchen]] became accessible and could once again be used for cooking. Chris used it to [[Specimen Sample|store his semen]].
*Chris's [[bedroom]] moved to the first floor, his former room being used for storage.
*The downstairs living room, formerly full of Barb's hoard, became Chris's toy-filled workroom.

===Return of the hoard===
{{quote|A loving fairly well-kept home of my father. I kept it up..|Chris, lying to himself about the state of his home in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video]]
}}

[[File:Sonic Totem and More.png|thumb|250px|A room filled with what is presumably Barb's hoard.]]

In the few years after having the house rebuilt, the Chandlers' negligence and hoarding slowly turned it back to its filthy, cluttered past, proving, like mother like son, Barb is just as incapable of learning from her mistakes as Chris. Ironically, the Garden, which in the years before the fire had become increasingly bereft of plants, was just about the only part of the property which thrived as of 2020, having become overgrown and unkempt with weeds, wildflowers, and plants encroaching from neighboring properties.

<center><gallery>
File:Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!! original.mp400001.png|Nov 2016 - The dirty hallway carpet, seen in [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!!]]
File:A few seconds of Barb dancing.png|April 2018 - At the bottom left is one of the newspaper spots where [[Clover and Snoopy]] [[Clover and Snoopy#Poor Living Conditions and Neglect|relieve themselves]]. Near the [[kitchen]] entrance.
File:Filthy carpet in Work Room - July 2019.jpg|July 2019 - Filthy, stained carpet against a hoard of toys, taken in Chris's [[Work Room]] through the Pokemon Go game, shared with the comment, "Party Time."
File:Mewtwo May 2020.jpg|Outside of the house, with stained exterior.
</gallery></center>

In October 2017, one of the bathrooms had a clogged shower drain, possibly stuffed up with Chris's seaweed [[hair]]. His solution was to pour Liquid Plumr into it and whine that every house should have two bathtubs.<ref>[[October 2017 tweets#Clogged shower drain]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Third House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House III}}

Chris filmed the third tour during [[March 2018]]. While his house is shown being ''very'' slightly less messy than it normally is, even that's being ridiculously charitable. Chris's room is packed to the rafters with all sorts of clothes and Rubbermaid bins, though it is semi-accessible, and shockingly, so are the oven and kitchen sink. Overall, he is shown having less of a struggle walking through his house, but there is still plenty of junk accumulating over the tables, hallways, kitchen, and shelves.

==Mortgage==
The Chandler family has assumed two mortgages on 14 Branchland Court. The first was fully paid sometime before [[February 2009]], when Chris attested his house had no mortgage against it.<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref> The '''second mortgage''' on the property was filed in [[April 2009]] for $130,000,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-11#post-1896956</ref> held at first by {{w|SunTrust Banks}} but since transferred to [https://seterus.com/ Seterus], now operating as {{w|Mr. Cooper}}<ref>https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-financial-protection-bureau-settles-with-mortgage-servicer-for-illegal-practices-that-impeded-borrowers-attempts-to-avoid-foreclosure/#:~:text=Seterus%20is%20no%20longer%20operating,Cooper.</ref>. As of 31 [[August 2016]], the Chandlers still owe '''$115,000''', which is still more than the property is actually worth.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-12#post-1900319</ref> Chris's [[monthly tugboat]] furnishes (or once furnished) the roughly $800 monthly payment.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Hmmph!|"I pay the monthly mortgage which kills most of my monthly."]]</ref><ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts|Whining about the mortgage]]</ref> Contrary to a popular misconception, it is not a reverse mortgage:<ref>https://financial-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/reverse+mortgage</ref><ref>The latest confirmation that 14 Branchland Court currently has no reverse mortgage was during [[Discord Q&A 7]] on the night of 15 September 2020.</ref> the mortgage is estimated to extend thirty years, with 5% interest.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-12#post-1901342</ref>

Among the Chandlers' various [[debt]]s, the mortgage is the primary cause of the [[Financhu Crisis]]: acute circumstances relating to it have caused Chris to resort to begging many times. As for the reason why the Chandlers took on said mortgage can be summed up to paying off Barb's credit card debt; a bad move. On one occasion, [[Chris and negotiation|he pleaded idly]] with his [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] to pay the entire mortgage at once for him.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Who wants to pay our mortgage?!]]</ref> Moreover, the Chandlers have repeatedly neglected their monthly payments. When the [[Idea Guys]] had threatened to destroy [[CWCville]] and his [[eBay]] sales were not enough to meet their $6,000 ransom, Chris withheld a mortgage payment to save his [[Chris and reality|fictional setting]].

Chris's closest flirt with financial ruin occurred on 8 [[May 2018]], when he announced that the home could be foreclosed upon if they failed to make two mortgage payments the next day;<ref>[[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE#Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!|Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!]]</ref> fans donated enough to prevent this. Onlookers speculate, given [[Chris and money|Chris's financial habits]] and [[Barb]]'s other debts, that after she passes away, that the estate could well be liquidated after her passing, or that Chris may struggle to keep up mortgage payments in the face of so many [[My Little Pony|tempting]] [[Vidya|distractions]].

Chris claimed in [[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021|a jail letter]] that the "Sonichu Temple" now had a mortgage of less than $90,000 (assuming he has mastered the distinction between the [[Chris and science#Algebra|greater than and less than symbols]]), and begged for donations to [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] to help pay this.

During a gaming livestream from [[November 2023]], Chris said that funds from [[OfficialCWCmart]] and streams were helping to pay a mortgage (though Chris did not specify which mortgage and was at the time living in a [[Big Island, VA]] house he was renting).<ref>[[First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream ⚡️💙⚡️]]</ref> In [[November 2025]], Chris announced sales of his ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''GoBots'' figures with the claimed goal "to raise money to completely pay off the Mortgage on the old Sonichu Temple."<ref>[[JCWCSP's OLDER Transformers and Gobots Figures For Sale on Cwclight]]</ref> In [[March 2026]], while advertising his [[Cameo]], Chris claimed that savings towards the mortgage to be going very well.<ref>[[March 2026 social media posts#Attention, please]]</ref> On 29 [[July 2026]], Chris claimed in a video that he was about 20% of the way through the mortgage.<ref>[[CLog 07282026 - YouTube Channel Announcements and Updates]]</ref>

==Neighbors==
{{quote|When I was pulling up to the stop sign on the cul-de-sac, the neighbor directly across the street from 14 Branchland yelled out "He's in jail!" with a big grin.|A Kiwi Farms user visiting 14 Branchland Court in the wake of Chris's [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge.<ref name=Dec21photos>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#December Photos of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Ruckersville house prices near 14BC.jpeg|thumb|House prices in the vicinity of 14BC reported on Zillow in 2019. Note the decent price estimates of neighboring buildings, while 14BC itself lacks a valuation altogether.]]
Although the Chandlers have mostly kept to themselves over the years, they have had some notable interactions with their neighbors:

*The [[abusive babysitter]] was a neighbor of the Chandlers in 1983, living on Westwood Drive (probably at number 6), Ruckersville.
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] was one of Chris's neighbors when they were children.
*In the aftermath of the [[2014 house fire]], a neighbor allowed Chris and Barb to stay with them temporarily.<ref>[[January 2014 Facebook Posts#FIRE.21]]</ref>
*Barb once tried to steal a neighbor's dog which had slipped out of its collar but was forced to return it when the neighbor showed up at their door.<ref>[[Clover and Snoopy#Stealing a Neighbor.27s Dog]]</ref>
*At some point in 2014, a deeply paranoid Chris told of a feud with a preteen neighbor whom he had suspected of stealing his old homework and passing it in for credit. According to Chris, the Chandlers (Barb and Chris) contacted Animal Control on the neighbor's cat and had it put to sleep, after it had scratched Chris. Chris claims the neighbor retaliated by training a snake to invade 14 Branchland Court, egging the house and stealing some items.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Chris the Cat-Killer]]</ref>
*In 2015, Chris uploaded [[A few kicks]], a video of him kicking a soccer ball around in his yard. At one point, the ball enters the road and Chris gives chase. He abruptly stops once the ball enters a neighbor's driveway, possibly meaning that he had been told not to go on that property without permission.
*In 2017, one of Chris's cats, [[Sorbet]], was injured while outside and ended up under a neighbor's gutter.<ref>[[May 2017 Facebook_posts]]</ref>
*On 25 [[January 2019]], Chris claimed that a neighbor angrily yelled at Chris for making his child [[tomgirl|question their gender identity]].<ref>[[January 2019 social media posts#Week round-up]]</ref>
*On 15 [[July 2021]], one of Chris's neighbors helped him bury his dog [[Snoopy]].<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Eulogy for Snoopy]]</ref>

==Visiting==
{{main|Fan visits}}
[[File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto2.png|thumb|200px|A fan visiting Chris at his house.]]
When occupied by the Chandlers, visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and trades the deed to it for magic beans, are ill-advised. Harassing the Chandlers at their house is not only the paragon of [[ween]] behavior, ''it is also a criminal offense'' and will probably result in you getting arrested. Chris and especially Barb shouldn't have to contend with the troll horde within the sanctum of their own home. We shouldn't have to be saying it at this point, but '''do not visit 14 Branchland Court to troll Chris or Barb'''.

Unless, of course, you ''are'' personally invited. To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], the [[Magical Man]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], [[Catherine]] and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them except Magical Man has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned.

Despite this, some fans have made the trip out to visit Chris at his home and have posed for photos with him, showing that Chris had lightened up on his stance.

In 2021, after [[Jail Saga|Chris was jailed for incest]], some weens made the pilgrimage to harass Barb for information about Chris, leaving empty-handed.
That said, it bears repeating: '''do NOT visit 14 Branchland Court to harass Barb,''' as you are likely causing undue stress on an ailing woman who had an incestuous affair with her own son.

==Chris and his address==
[[File:Sonichu temple of ruckersville in cwcville va by nightstarrosechu2891 dg6od5t-pre.jpg|thumb|Drawing of Chris' house by him ([[December 2021]])]]
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Chris has probably never realized this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.
* On 29 January 2016, Chris proved he hasn't learned a ''thing'' over the years when, in [[Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever|a video]] intended to dissuade [[trolls|well-meaning fans]] from sending mail to famous YouTuber [[PewDiePie]] (aka Felix Kjellberg) at his address, he felt the need to specify 14 Branchland Court as the address at which Kjellberg does not live.
* On 20 April 2019, Chris listed his address and phone number as part of the [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Google My Business]] program under the name "Sonichu Headquarters." He also expressed interest in making his house a PokéStop. In August 2020, this [[The_Place_chats_(August_2020)#PokeStop_rejection|request was rejected]], as private dwellings are not allowed to become PokéStops.
When he and Barb stayed at the rental house, it didn't take long for him to [[Brushfire Video|drop ''that'' house's address]].

When Chris writes out his full home address, he has a tendency to write his nine-digit [[wikipedia:ZIP_Code#ZIP+4|ZIP+4]] number (22968-'''''9545''''') instead of just his five-digit ZIP Code. This is rarely done for home addresses as it is considered unnecessary.

==The Fate of 14 BC==
It goes without saying the house will be foreclosed once Barb passes away. What will become of it afterward remains uncertain. Because Chris no longer resides there, it is unlikely he'll be moving back in given his bad [[Financhu Crisis|financial]] [[Debt|record]], in addition to his tugboat being insufficient to cover upkeep, let alone mortgage. As for the property itself, it's possible the house will either be [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|condemned and subsequently demolished]] by the Virginia Health Department, sold to a family looking for a place to live (provided the property is up to standards), a [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fan]] looking to preserve the property, or by weens trying to outbid one another in order to convert it into a [[Messiah complex|temple]]/[[Chris and his ego|museum]] for all things Chris and Sonichu related.

==Gallery==
===September 2013===
On 7 [[September 2013]], some pictures of the house were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BranchlandCourt1.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt2.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt3.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt4.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt5.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

===March 2014===
On 3 [[March 2014]], pictures of the house post-fire were leaked on the forums. On the 3rd and 4th shots, note the damage to the left half of the roof, matching the location of the shot of the actual fire.
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BCPostFire1.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire2.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire3.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire4.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

===April 2014===
On 13 [[April 2014]], more pictures were leaked on the forums, then to the CWCki on the following day. Most of the windows had now been boarded up as the repair work commenced, and a large tarpaulin was covering the section of the roof where the fire had broken out to stop water from getting in. Chris's second known [[Son-Chu|car]], a white Cadillac Seville, was in attendance at the time. [[Cousin Al]] alleged that he had access to pictures of the interior, but they were "too sensitive for [him] to release anytime in the near future."<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/2014-04-14-photographs-of-house-reconstruction.3452/#post-211669</ref>

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</gallery>
</center>

===May 2014===
On 7 [[May 2014]], [[Cousin Al]] leaked three more pictures of the house, revealing that some of the garbage had been moved from the front. Chris's window has also been altered a tiny bit.

<center>
<gallery>
File:NewPlywoodChrisRoomWindow.JPG
File:TrashIsGone.JPG
File:CrapOnTheGround.JPG
</gallery>
</center>

===April 2015===
Yet more pictures were leaked in [[April 2015]], showing the house as it appeared after the renovations.

<center><gallery>
File:14BCApril2015I.jpg
File:14BCApril2015G.jpg
File:14BCApril2015F.jpg
File:14BCApril2015D.jpg
File:14BCApril2015C.jpg
File:14BCApril2015B.jpg
File:14BCApril2015H.jpg|Barb's car, still for sale.
File:14BCApril2015E.jpg
File:14BCApril2015.jpg|The front yard, still a sty.
File:Bobs greenhouse.jpeg|Bob's old greenhouse.
File:Itj5aFp.jpg
</gallery></center>

===June 2017-August 2021===
More, from [[June 2017]] to [[August 2021]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382102</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:14 BC in 2017 1.jpg|The lawn, overgrown but not ''quite'' as wrecked as it used to be.
File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|[[Son-Chu]], next to Barb's Dodge Caravan.
File:14 BC in 2017 3.jpg|While not visible in the photo, the license plate for Barb's car is "B. Weston".
File:14 BC in 2017 4.jpg|[[Patti]]'s doghouse.
File:14bc June 2019.jpg| [[June 2019]]
File:14bc620.jpg|[[June 2020]]
File:June2021Visit2.jpg|June 2020: [[Fanta|"Couldn't find any chocolate syrup, but I have some orange soda."]]
File:August2021House1.jpg|[[August 2021]]
File:August2021House2.jpg|August 2021
</gallery></center>

===September 2021===
{{main|Yard Tour (2021)}}

===December 2021===
On 16 [[December 2021]], [[Larry Vaughn]] took photos of the house at night, noting also that the [[Son-Chu|van]] was gone<ref>{{Cite Reddit|subreddit=ChrisChanSonichu|title=Just Went to Chris' House for the Second Time This Year. The Van's Gone.|post=ri3xbf/just_went_to_chris_house_for_the_second_time_this}}</ref> (as the photos were taken a few weeks after Barb's Fail to Yield Right of Way accident).
<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Court - 16 Dec 2021.jpg
File:14 Branchland Court - 16 Dec 2021 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

On 20 [[December 2021]], a Kiwi Farms user took a couple photos of the house. He disagreed with [[Larry Vaughn]]'s assertion that there was a "For Sale" sign, stating that he did not see one.<ref name=Dec21photos></ref> The overgrown lawn and bushes around the house also appeared to have been cut back by this time, suggesting that someone was given instructions to tend to it, revealing an abundance of plastic rubbish bins and other objects that had previously been hidden by the greenery.
<center><gallery>
File:14Branch01.jpg
File:14Branch02.jpg
</gallery></center>

===October 2022===
On 15 [[October 2022]] a user on the Kiwi Farms took pictures of the house in the day. The user notes how the patio had rotted and the shed had collapsed.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#October Photos of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo1.jpg ‎
File:IMG 2717.jpg
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo3.jpg
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo4.jpg
</gallery></center>

===January 2023===
{{main|Redditor Ruckersville visit}}
On 22 [[January 2023]], Reddit user Iron_Taipan took photos of the yard. His photos showed bags of trash placed at the curb, including a [[Transformers]] toy box.

<center><gallery>
File:HouseJan23_1.png
File:HouseJan23_2.png
File:HouseJan23_3.png
File:HouseJan23_4.jpg
File:HouseJan23_5.jpg
</gallery></center>

===March 2023===
Posted to a Facebook group, sonichu christianposting, on 13 March 2023.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/11qu2s3/14_blc_as_of_today/</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Ct Mar 2023.jpg
</gallery></center>

===May 2023===
{{main|Fan_visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS}}
On 3 [[May 2023]], Reddit user DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS posted a series of images of the front yard of 14BC at night. Of note, it showed a well-kept exterior, as well as the lit window of [[Chris's room]] and his hand-drawn [[Sonichu_Comic|Sonichu]] poster. Another ween visited on 23 May 2023, taking a daytime photo that does not contain anything of note, although the bins at the front of the property were full of hedge clippings, indicating that a gardener had recently tended to the grounds of the house.

<center><gallery>
File:14BC1_May2023_(1).jpg
File:14BC2_May2023_(1).jpg
File:14BC3_May2023.jpg
File:Ideaguy_poster.jpg|The poster in Chris' window, located on the top right.
File:14BC 25May2023.jpeg|25 May
</gallery></center>

===November 2023===
<center><gallery>
File:10 November 2023 14 Branchland Court1.jpeg
File:10 November 2023 14 Branchland Court2.jpeg|Sampled gravel from the house's driveway. Notice how different they are compared to the [[OfficialCWCmart]] listings.
</gallery></center>

===August 2024===
On 10 [[August 2024]], Reddit user Quiet-Listen-7774 took several pictures of the exterior of the property. There appears to be a swivel chair, a storage tote, and a shelf in front of the house. The lawn was cut and appears to be regrowing, indicating that gardening and other maintenance at the house is ongoing.

<center><gallery>
File:14bc 8-10-24.jpg
File:14bc 2-min.jpg
File:14bc (2) 8-10-24.jpg
File:14bc (3) 8-10-24.jpg
</gallery></center>

===March 2025===
<center><gallery>
File:12 March 2025 14 Branchland Court1.jpeg
File:12 March 2025 14 Branchland Court2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

==TSSSF cards==
14 Branchland Court has been featured as custom [[TSSSF]] cards.

<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Court TSSSF card.jpeg|The house, in which Chris refers to it as a "temple."
File:CWCs Temples Gazebo TSSSF.jpg|The abandoned gazebo. "Come on in."
</gallery></center>

== Videos ==

'''Rammspieler'''

A video panorama view from the street, taken 5 February 2015.

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 14 Branchland Court: The Motion Picture
| ytid = nHRsavBhxGA
| stardate = 5 [[February 2015]]
| maker = Rammspieler
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

Another from 2020.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu HQ (Chris-Chan House June 2020)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QOlC-LLQ7Vc}}
| stardate = 27 [[June 2020]]
| maker = Checkable Reality
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

Another from 2022.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu HQ (Chris-Chan House October 2022)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9n9BBPqJjCo}}
| stardate = 11 [[October 2022]]
| maker = whitepaws
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]
* [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Tour of Chris's House II]]
* [[2014 house fire]]
* [[Chris's homes]]
* [[Property tax assessment]] - Last appraisal of the house made by Greene County before the fire.
* [[Fan visits]]

==References==
<references />
{{Places}}
{{Health}}
{{Money}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

14 Branchland Court

2026-10-07T01:47:38Z

WarnerBro:

{{Split Off}}
{{Protip|CHRIS DOES NOT LIVE HERE ANYMORE. We highly discourage visiting to take photos or troll Barb. She’s an old lady who deserves some peace in her twilight years.}}
{{quote|No burglar would ever want anything in this house.|Chris, being surprisingly ([[Manchester High Leaks|almost]]) modest.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#No burglar would steal Chris's stuff|Mailbag 44]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Number 14 was aflame in '14. LOL|Chris, on the two-year anniversary of his [[2014 house fire|house fire]].<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Number 14 was aflame in '14. LOL]]</ref>}}
[[File:14bc-2024.jpg|thumb|The house in 2024.]]
[[File:August2021House1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2021.]]
[[Image:ChrisHouseMap.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
[[File:14BCBEV.jpg|thumb|A rough drawing of a top-down view of the house in [[2009]]. This cutaway shows the second floor, with [[Chris's room]], the [[kitchen]], living room, bathroom and an unknown area visible.]]

'''14 Branchland Court''', [[Ruckersville, VA]], often abbreviated to '''14BC''', and also currently known as '''[[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Sonichu Headquarters]]''' and the '''Temple of CWC Sonichu'''<ref>[[:File:CWCs Temples Gazebo TSSSF.jpg]]</ref> – is the last bastion of [[autism]]. This was the vile lair of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], up until his [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrest in 2021]]. Currently, it is inhabited by [[Christopher's name change|Christopher's ghost]], Chris's mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]],<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC"/> the surviving [[Chandler Cats|Chandler cats]],<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC"/> and Chris's dog [[Clover and Snoopy|Clover]].<ref name="BarbVisit">[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> It was a white two-story house with dark red trimming (which faded to ivory and pink respectively) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of Ruckersville, although since its renovation has been repainted in beige with dark green shutters. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house is just past the local trailer park and nestled in a lower middle-class suburban community. It was built in [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], and with no major work done from [[1986]]<ref>[[:File:14BranchlandCourt.png]]</ref> to [[2014]], the house shows its age with its tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding.

Chris and his family have notoriously spent decades constantly filling up the house with tons of garbage and junk, earning it the nickname of '''"The Hoard"'''. In earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday in [[2002]], for instance), the house seemed reasonably tidy; but, in his [[Tour of Chris's House|first video tour]], Chris kept referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has only grown fuller and fuller ever since. "Clutter" is, of course, a grievous understatement; the entire house is packed with garbage, to the point where junk fills up entire rooms and reach within two feet of the ceiling (the living room was, for a while, basically inaccessible due to all the accumulated junk). Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid, impassable slabs of filth like in the living room, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

Of the three Chandlers, Barb was the biggest hoarder, and one of the biggest obstacles to cleaning the place aside from the general laziness of the family. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] revealed that Chris's parents were aware of the alarming implications of the house's condition (with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and feared that Chris's video tours could've elicited the attention of the [http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/LHD/ThomasJefferson/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. In the wake of Bob making that remark, [[weens]] made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless, like most efforts to get the state to intervene in Chris's sorry life.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to [[Chris and work#Chores|simple maintenance]], like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts seemed to amount to little more than preventing himself from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis. Barb apparently threatened to throw him out of the house if he were to attempt to dispose of some of her hoard of useless shit.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a [[computer]], but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Whether or not Barb did it to stop Bob from using the computer is unknown, but at any rate he did.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

In [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] to [[Rocky Shoemaker]] in 2011, it was revealed that 14 Branchland Court was infested and that the parasitic infestation caused [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] to be "covered in bug bites" before [[Death of Bob Chandler|his death from heart disease]].

On 10 [[January 2014]], Chris reported that the house had sustained major structural damage from an [[2014 house fire|early-morning house fire]] following an electrical shortage. Chris, Barb, the dogs, Lucy the cat, and other possessions made it out safely, and they spent about a year in a [[Rental House|rental house]] – which they predictably completely trashed – before moving back to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[December 2014]]. Although Chris was temporarily detained in jail after his misadventure on the [[26 December 2014|26th]], he was later released on bail and moved back into his house in [[January 2015]].

The house was vacant between the time of Chris and Barb's separation after the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] fallout, and the first few weeks of the [[Jail Saga]] following Chris's arrest. A [[Kiwi Farms]] user confirmed that Barb returned to the house starting on, or at some point before, [[August 2021|August 29th 2021]].<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC">[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Status of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> As of 2023, it appears that 14 Branchland Court is finally receiving at least some of the TLC it deserves, as recent fan visits have found the lawn being clipped and cleared of rubbish, and portions of the all-consuming hoard within having been extricated into bins to be disposed of, suggesting that someone has been paid to help Barb maintain the property.<ref>[[Fan visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS]]</ref>

Following the dismissal of Chris's case in [[August 2023]], his car was spotted at 14 Branchland Court on 4 [[September 2023]]. Chris retrieved his possessions from the house, such as some [[2021_Lost_Commissions|commissioned artwork he never finished]] from [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|two years ago]]. In [[April 2024]], during a visit to 14 Branchland Court, Chris filmed himself collecting gravel from the front yard for selling on [[OfficialCWCmart]].<ref>[[Harvesting Process, Gravel at the Sonichu Temple]]</ref>

==History==
{{See also|Property tax assessment}}

14 Branchland Court was built in 1977 on a lot of 0.56 acres (2,300 m2.<ref>[[Property tax assessment]]</ref>

Chris's parents presumably purchased 14 Branchland Court at some point between their marriage on 7 June 1980 (at which point they were still living in the Richmond area) and Chris's birth 20 months later. A plaque which hangs above Chris's bed in some videos (notably [[All Star]]) indicates that his parents' nickname for the house was '''"Wes-Chandler-Ton Manor"'''.

Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from his birth on 24 [[February 1982]] until his family moved to the [[Richmond]] area in [[1993]] in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. Initially, Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in [[2000]] after Chris graduated [[high school]]. Chris wrote it as being his home address as of 20 June.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 1]]</ref> In [[Greene County Conspiracy|a video]] released in [[May 2010]], Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. Chris naturally attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system, but as this article explains, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.

The original number of the house was '''46 Branchland Court''' - this is the number given in [[A Week With Christian Chandler]] (2000) and [[Cole Smithey]]'s 1994 postcard to Barbara. It was changed to 14 sometime after 2000.

<center><gallery>
File:0617-AMom&DadMoment.jpg
File:0628-JustChristian3.jpg
File:0614-Mom&Christian.jpg
File:0627-AFather&SonMoment.jpg
</gallery></center>

==First House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain".|Chris to [[Julie]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}

[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|right|[[Wikipedia:Inferno (Dante)#Canto III: Vestibule of Hell|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.]]]]

In two videos uploaded on 27 [[March 2009]], Chris provided a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so cluttered that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court circa 2009.

{{clear}}

===Ground Floor===
[[File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|250px|Bob in the family room.]]

The north corner is what Chris describes as the '''[[Chris and music|music]] room''' (probably where Bob kept his extensive music collection), which was primarily the domain of Barbara, who frequently slept there. A small '''bathroom''' is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the '''utility room''', in which the family kept a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The '''family room''' (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by Bob, who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, then they were never filmed.

{{clear}}

===Top Floor===
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|Barbara moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in April [[2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

'''[[Chris's room|Chris's bedroom]]''' is in the north corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the east corner, is a filthy '''bathroom''', which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown/green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The '''[[kitchen]]''' and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris used for Internet access at the time was in this part of the house, as was a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] here over a webcam feed. This implies that Chris's parents never actually went upstairs, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wanted]] undisturbed (well, [[Bob Walks In|mostly undisturbed]]). The '''living room''', filled with garbage to the point of uselessness, is across the stairway from Chris's room. It is likely the same as Chris's current '''[[Chris's room#Work room|work room]]''' used for storing toys and shooting videos.

{{clear}}

===Yard===
{{main|Yard (14 Branchland Court)}}

==Second House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House II}}

[[File:14bc1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2012.]]

In 2013, a video was leaked by [[Alec Benson Leary]] showing the state of Chris's home since the last tour he gave in 2009. Needless to say, especially in light of eyewitness reports of his front yard in 2012, the house became even ''more'' of a mess in the following years. Whereas Chris had at least ''some'' room to maneuver in the 2009 Tour Video, here, the passageways have become so narrow and jam-packed that even he complains about all of the clutter being in his way and begins sounding increasingly [[Stress|annoyed]] as he attempts to navigate the claustrophobic environment. The kitchen, in particular, has become an unsightly mess--the Chandlers apparently couldn't be half-assed to put away their groceries, so it's strewn all over the place. The living room, already an ocean of rubbish, has gotten worse, with the accumulated clutter now towering over Chris to the point where he has to stretch to get footage of it. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the [[ShowerClean|last video Chris released of him cleaning it]] - and he even admits so himself in the video.

Even the stairs of his home have become cluttered with nonsense such as Christmas ornaments, boxes, and bags, which could spell disaster if Chris or his mother have to evacuate the premises. Also notable is the fact that every so often, Chris can be observed picking up random pieces of garbage from the floor as well.

In [[Chris and his ego|typical Chris-Chan fashion]], he describes his room as "the cleanest of the whole house", despite it having unsightly masses of clothes everywhere and even an unmade bed that he couldn't be bothered to at least straighten up before making this ill-advised video.

When he steps outside, he basically confirms what trolls have documented as early as 2012: that his lawn is ''completely'' overgrown to the point where it has utterly consumed one of the structures in his yard. Also unsurprising is the fact that after Bob's death, the garden shed has been completely abandoned.

Given his commentary, it ''almost'' seemed like Chris acknowledges that he has kept his home in a very unacceptable condition....right until he blames [[Borb|his parents]] for being "hoarders" and [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|totally shifting blame away from himself]], ''despite'' being the "man" of the house.

By this time, the bug infestation appears to have been gotten rid of, or at least contained. It was stated before that the infestation was so bad that Chris was confined to his room in order to avoid getting bitten, but in this video, no bugs are seen and Chris makes no mention of them.

==2014 house fire==
[[Image:14 Branchland Court on Fire - Copy.jpg|thumb|right|Witness image of 14 Branchland Court on fire. On Facebook, Chris blamed Keurig for causing the fire, but later let slip in an email that it was plugged into a "heavy-duty" extension cord in the basement bathroom.]]

{{Main|2014 house fire}}

On 10 January 2014, a fire broke out at the Chandler household. According to Chris, this was caused by a worn extension cord plugged into a coffee machine, which sparked and started the blaze. Chris, his mother, the beagles, and Lucy (one of the cats) made it out safely, surprising when you consider how much clutter was obstructing the stairways. The firefighters could not effectively navigate the house through either door and were forced to enter through the windows. Sadly, one of the cats (revealed to be Scamper by Chris in February 2016) perished in the fire from smoke inhalation and was later buried in the backyard.

The Chandlers escaped with little more than the clothes on their backs. Chris wrote that he was able to take his wallet, medication for his mother, some clothes, and his iPhone. The day after the fire, he and his mother were allowed to reenter the structure, and he learned to his relief that many of his personal possessions, including his games, his computers, and his artwork, had survived. His [[Lego]] [[high school]] survived, albeit partially melted. Chris was also observed on [[Miiverse]] shortly after the fire, suggesting that he managed to save his [[Nintendo]] 3DS or Wii U at some point. However, it can be assumed that much of the hoard suffered fire, smoke, and/or water damage.

As completely tragic as this incident was, it did not come as much of a surprise, given Barbara's hoarding and Chris's unwillingness or inability to control his mother's compulsions or properly clean. As pointed out by quite a few concerned people, the house had ''always'' been a health and safety hazard, and it was only a matter of time before disaster struck. Sadly, Chris was unable or unwilling to act on this well-meaning advice, and, as a result, reaped what he and his family had sown.

Chris and his mother stayed at a [[Rental House|rental house]] in nearby [[wikipedia:Barboursville, Virginia|Barboursville]] for most of 2014 as repairs to 14 Branchland Court were made. They also rented a storage locker. To the shock of absolutely no one, Chris and Barb managed to trash that house up as well; photos taken by Chris showed rodent shit on the house's carpeting, and [[Rental House Tour|eyewitness reports]] showed that the conditions in the rental house were basically the same as they were at 14 Branchland Court. Trolls reported in [[April 2015]] that the house was still vacant four months after Chris and Barb moved out.

For reasons which are not entirely clear, the renovation of the house took much longer than anticipated. Nevertheless, the worst fears, that the house would be condemned or the renovations would not be finished, were unrealized. In December 2014 and January 2015, the Chandlers moved back in.

==Post-fire renovation==

[[File:14bc215.jpg|thumb|left|A renovated 14BC.]]

On the 6th of December, 2014, Chris announced on [[Facebook]] that his home had finally been repaired, and he would be moving back in near the start of the [[2015|new year]]. Ever a busy man, Chris managed to fit a [[26 December 2014|run-in with the law on Boxing Day, followed by two days in jail]] into his moving schedule. Once he was released on bond on 29 December, Chris was shortly back to complaining about having a "Charlie Horse [sic]" from moving his mother's hoard back to the house.

After Chris's second hearing in April started and finished half an hour early, and they failed to make it in, the Christorians who took it upon themselves to attend decided to make the most of their visit and go on a tour of the major places in Chris' life, including 14 Branchland Court. The photographs they took showed that the Chandler headquarters had been modernized, and no longer looked like ''total'' shit. This is partially due to the modernized exterior, and partially due to most of the hoard still being in storage. Photographs also showed some sort of outhouse in the backyard raised off the ground, and soon to be full of the hoard.

Other notable changes:

*The [[kitchen]] became accessible and could once again be used for cooking. Chris used it to [[Specimen Sample|store his semen]].
*Chris's [[bedroom]] moved to the first floor, his former room being used for storage.
*The downstairs living room, formerly full of Barb's hoard, became Chris's toy-filled workroom.

===Return of the hoard===
{{quote|A loving fairly well-kept home of my father. I kept it up..|Chris, lying to himself about the state of his home in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video]]
}}

[[File:Sonic Totem and More.png|thumb|250px|A room filled with what is presumably Barb's hoard.]]

In the few years after having the house rebuilt, the Chandlers' negligence and hoarding slowly turned it back to its filthy, cluttered past, proving, like mother like son, Barb is just as incapable of learning from her mistakes as Chris. Ironically, the Garden, which in the years before the fire had become increasingly bereft of plants, was just about the only part of the property which thrived as of 2020, having become overgrown and unkempt with weeds, wildflowers, and plants encroaching from neighboring properties.

<center><gallery>
File:Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!! original.mp400001.png|Nov 2016 - The dirty hallway carpet, seen in [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!!]]
File:A few seconds of Barb dancing.png|April 2018 - At the bottom left is one of the newspaper spots where [[Clover and Snoopy]] [[Clover and Snoopy#Poor Living Conditions and Neglect|relieve themselves]]. Near the [[kitchen]] entrance.
File:Filthy carpet in Work Room - July 2019.jpg|July 2019 - Filthy, stained carpet against a hoard of toys, taken in Chris's [[Work Room]] through the Pokemon Go game, shared with the comment, "Party Time."
File:Mewtwo May 2020.jpg|Outside of the house, with stained exterior.
</gallery></center>

In October 2017, one of the bathrooms had a clogged shower drain, possibly stuffed up with Chris's seaweed [[hair]]. His solution was to pour Liquid Plumr into it and whine that every house should have two bathtubs.<ref>[[October 2017 tweets#Clogged shower drain]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Third House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House III}}

Chris filmed the third tour during [[March 2018]]. While his house is shown being ''very'' slightly less messy than it normally is, even that's being ridiculously charitable. Chris's room is packed to the rafters with all sorts of clothes and Rubbermaid bins, though it is semi-accessible, and shockingly, so are the oven and kitchen sink. Overall, he is shown having less of a struggle walking through his house, but there is still plenty of junk accumulating over the tables, hallways, kitchen, and shelves.

==Mortgage==
The Chandler family has assumed two mortgages on 14 Branchland Court. The first was fully paid sometime before [[February 2009]], when Chris attested his house had no mortgage against it.<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref> The '''second mortgage''' on the property was filed in [[April 2009]] for $130,000,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-11#post-1896956</ref> held at first by {{w|SunTrust Banks}} but since transferred to [https://seterus.com/ Seterus], now operating as {{w|Mr. Cooper}}<ref>https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-financial-protection-bureau-settles-with-mortgage-servicer-for-illegal-practices-that-impeded-borrowers-attempts-to-avoid-foreclosure/#:~:text=Seterus%20is%20no%20longer%20operating,Cooper.</ref>. As of 31 [[August 2016]], the Chandlers still owe '''$115,000''', which is still more than the property is actually worth.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-12#post-1900319</ref> Chris's [[monthly tugboat]] furnishes (or once furnished) the roughly $800 monthly payment.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Hmmph!|"I pay the monthly mortgage which kills most of my monthly."]]</ref><ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts|Whining about the mortgage]]</ref> Contrary to a popular misconception, it is not a reverse mortgage:<ref>https://financial-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/reverse+mortgage</ref><ref>The latest confirmation that 14 Branchland Court currently has no reverse mortgage was during [[Discord Q&A 7]] on the night of 15 September 2020.</ref> the mortgage is estimated to extend thirty years, with 5% interest.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-12#post-1901342</ref>

Among the Chandlers' various [[debt]]s, the mortgage is the primary cause of the [[Financhu Crisis]]: acute circumstances relating to it have caused Chris to resort to begging many times. As for the reason why the Chandlers took on said mortgage can be summed up to paying off Barb's credit card debt; a bad move. On one occasion, [[Chris and negotiation|he pleaded idly]] with his [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] to pay the entire mortgage at once for him.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Who wants to pay our mortgage?!]]</ref> Moreover, the Chandlers have repeatedly neglected their monthly payments. When the [[Idea Guys]] had threatened to destroy [[CWCville]] and his [[eBay]] sales were not enough to meet their $6,000 ransom, Chris withheld a mortgage payment to save his [[Chris and reality|fictional setting]].

Chris's closest flirt with financial ruin occurred on 8 [[May 2018]], when he announced that the home could be foreclosed upon if they failed to make two mortgage payments the next day;<ref>[[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE#Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!|Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!]]</ref> fans donated enough to prevent this. Onlookers speculate, given [[Chris and money|Chris's financial habits]] and [[Barb]]'s other debts, that after she passes away, that the estate could well be liquidated after her passing, or that Chris may struggle to keep up mortgage payments in the face of so many [[My Little Pony|tempting]] [[Vidya|distractions]].

Chris claimed in [[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021|a jail letter]] that the "Sonichu Temple" now had a mortgage of less than $90,000 (assuming he has mastered the distinction between the [[Chris and science#Algebra|greater than and less than symbols]]), and begged for donations to [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] to help pay this.

During a gaming livestream from [[November 2023]], Chris said that funds from [[OfficialCWCmart]] and streams were helping to pay a mortgage (though Chris did not specify which mortgage and was at the time living in a [[Big Island, VA]] house he was renting).<ref>[[First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream ⚡️💙⚡️]]</ref> In [[November 2025]], Chris announced sales of his ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''GoBots'' figures with the claimed goal "to raise money to completely pay off the Mortgage on the old Sonichu Temple."<ref>[[JCWCSP's OLDER Transformers and Gobots Figures For Sale on Cwclight]]</ref> In [[March 2026]], while advertising his [[Cameo]], Chris claimed that savings towards the mortgage to be going very well.<ref>[[March 2026 social media posts#Attention, please]]</ref> On 29 [[July 2026]], Chris claimed in a video that he was about 20% of the way through the mortgage.<ref>[[CLog 07282026 - YouTube Channel Announcements and Updates]]</ref>

==Neighbors==
{{quote|When I was pulling up to the stop sign on the cul-de-sac, the neighbor directly across the street from 14 Branchland yelled out "He's in jail!" with a big grin.|A Kiwi Farms user visiting 14 Branchland Court in the wake of Chris's [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge.<ref name=Dec21photos>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#December Photos of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Ruckersville house prices near 14BC.jpeg|thumb|House prices in the vicinity of 14BC reported on Zillow in 2019. Note the decent price estimates of neighboring buildings, while 14BC itself lacks a valuation altogether.]]
Although the Chandlers have mostly kept to themselves over the years, they have had some notable interactions with their neighbors:

*The [[abusive babysitter]] was a neighbor of the Chandlers in 1983, living on Westwood Drive (probably at number 6), Ruckersville.
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] was one of Chris's neighbors when they were children.
*In the aftermath of the [[2014 house fire]], a neighbor allowed Chris and Barb to stay with them temporarily.<ref>[[January 2014 Facebook Posts#FIRE.21]]</ref>
*Barb once tried to steal a neighbor's dog which had slipped out of its collar but was forced to return it when the neighbor showed up at their door.<ref>[[Clover and Snoopy#Stealing a Neighbor.27s Dog]]</ref>
*At some point in 2014, a deeply paranoid Chris told of a feud with a preteen neighbor whom he had suspected of stealing his old homework and passing it in for credit. According to Chris, the Chandlers (Barb and Chris) contacted Animal Control on the neighbor's cat and had it put to sleep, after it had scratched Chris. Chris claims the neighbor retaliated by training a snake to invade 14 Branchland Court, egging the house and stealing some items.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Chris the Cat-Killer]]</ref>
*In 2015, Chris uploaded [[A few kicks]], a video of him kicking a soccer ball around in his yard. At one point, the ball enters the road and Chris gives chase. He abruptly stops once the ball enters a neighbor's driveway, possibly meaning that he had been told not to go on that property without permission.
*In 2017, one of Chris's cats, [[Sorbet]], was injured while outside and ended up under a neighbor's gutter.<ref>[[May 2017 Facebook_posts]]</ref>
*On 25 [[January 2019]], Chris claimed that a neighbor angrily yelled at Chris for making his child [[tomgirl|question their gender identity]].<ref>[[January 2019 social media posts#Week round-up]]</ref>
*On 15 [[July 2021]], one of Chris's neighbors helped him bury his dog [[Snoopy]].<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Eulogy for Snoopy]]</ref>

==Visiting==
{{main|Fan visits}}
[[File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto2.png|thumb|200px|A fan visiting Chris at his house.]]
When occupied by the Chandlers, visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and trades the deed to it for magic beans, are ill-advised. Harassing the Chandlers at their house is not only the paragon of [[ween]] behavior, ''it is also a criminal offense'' and will probably result in you getting arrested. Chris and especially Barb shouldn't have to contend with the troll horde within the sanctum of their own home. We shouldn't have to be saying it at this point, but '''do not visit 14 Branchland Court to troll Chris or Barb'''.

Unless, of course, you ''are'' personally invited. To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], the [[Magical Man]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], [[Catherine]] and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them except Magical Man has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned.

Despite this, some fans have made the trip out to visit Chris at his home and have posed for photos with him, showing that Chris had lightened up on his stance.

In 2021, after [[Jail Saga|Chris was jailed for incest]], some weens made the pilgrimage to harass Barb for information about Chris, leaving empty-handed.
That said, it bears repeating: '''do NOT visit 14 Branchland Court to harass Barb,''' as you are likely causing undue stress on an ailing woman who had an incestuous affair with her own son.

==Chris and his address==
[[File:Sonichu temple of ruckersville in cwcville va by nightstarrosechu2891 dg6od5t-pre.jpg|thumb|Drawing of Chris' house by him ([[December 2021]])]]
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Chris has probably never realized this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.
* On 29 January 2016, Chris proved he hasn't learned a ''thing'' over the years when, in [[Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever|a video]] intended to dissuade [[trolls|well-meaning fans]] from sending mail to famous YouTuber [[PewDiePie]] (aka Felix Kjellberg) at his address, he felt the need to specify 14 Branchland Court as the address at which Kjellberg does not live.
* On 20 April 2019, Chris listed his address and phone number as part of the [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Google My Business]] program under the name "Sonichu Headquarters." He also expressed interest in making his house a PokéStop. In August 2020, this [[The_Place_chats_(August_2020)#PokeStop_rejection|request was rejected]], as private dwellings are not allowed to become PokéStops.
When he and Barb stayed at the rental house, it didn't take long for him to [[Brushfire Video|drop ''that'' house's address]].

When Chris writes out his full home address, he has a tendency to write his nine-digit [[wikipedia:ZIP_Code#ZIP+4|ZIP+4]] number (22968-'''''9545''''') instead of just his five-digit ZIP Code. This is rarely done for home addresses as it is considered unnecessary.

==The Fate of 14 BC==
It goes without saying the house will be foreclosed once Barb passes away. What will become of it afterward remains uncertain. Because Chris no longer resides there, it is unlikely he'll be moving back in given his bad [[Financhu Crisis|financial]] [[Debt|record]], in addition to his tugboat being insufficient to cover upkeep, let alone mortgage. As for the property itself, it's possible the house will either be [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|condemned and subsequently demolished]] by the Virginia Health Department, sold to a family looking for a place to live (provided the property is up to standards), a [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fan]] looking to preserve the property, or by weens trying to outbid one another in order to convert it into a [[Messiah complex|temple]]/[[Chris and his ego|museum]] for all things Chris and Sonichu related.

==Gallery==
===September 2013===
On 7 [[September 2013]], some pictures of the house were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BranchlandCourt1.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt2.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt3.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt4.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt5.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

===March 2014===
On 3 [[March 2014]], pictures of the house post-fire were leaked on the forums. On the 3rd and 4th shots, note the damage to the left half of the roof, matching the location of the shot of the actual fire.
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BCPostFire1.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire2.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire3.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire4.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

===April 2014===
On 13 [[April 2014]], more pictures were leaked on the forums, then to the CWCki on the following day. Most of the windows had now been boarded up as the repair work commenced, and a large tarpaulin was covering the section of the roof where the fire had broken out to stop water from getting in. Chris's second known [[Son-Chu|car]], a white Cadillac Seville, was in attendance at the time. [[Cousin Al]] alleged that he had access to pictures of the interior, but they were "too sensitive for [him] to release anytime in the near future."<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/2014-04-14-photographs-of-house-reconstruction.3452/#post-211669</ref>

<center>
<gallery>
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File:IMG 5358.JPG|
</gallery>
</center>

===May 2014===
On 7 [[May 2014]], [[Cousin Al]] leaked three more pictures of the house, revealing that some of the garbage had been moved from the front. Chris's window has also been altered a tiny bit.

<center>
<gallery>
File:NewPlywoodChrisRoomWindow.JPG
File:TrashIsGone.JPG
File:CrapOnTheGround.JPG
</gallery>
</center>

===April 2015===
Yet more pictures were leaked in [[April 2015]], showing the house as it appeared after the renovations.

<center><gallery>
File:14BCApril2015I.jpg
File:14BCApril2015G.jpg
File:14BCApril2015F.jpg
File:14BCApril2015D.jpg
File:14BCApril2015C.jpg
File:14BCApril2015B.jpg
File:14BCApril2015H.jpg|Barb's car, still for sale.
File:14BCApril2015E.jpg
File:14BCApril2015.jpg|The front yard, still a sty.
File:Bobs greenhouse.jpeg|Bob's old greenhouse.
File:Itj5aFp.jpg
</gallery></center>

===June 2017-August 2021===
More, from [[June 2017]] to [[August 2021]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382102</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:14 BC in 2017 1.jpg|The lawn, overgrown but not ''quite'' as wrecked as it used to be.
File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|[[Son-Chu]], next to Barb's Dodge Caravan.
File:14 BC in 2017 3.jpg|While not visible in the photo, the license plate for Barb's car is "B. Weston".
File:14 BC in 2017 4.jpg|[[Patti]]'s doghouse.
File:14bc June 2019.jpg| [[June 2019]]
File:14bc620.jpg|[[June 2020]]
File:June2021Visit2.jpg|June 2020: [[Fanta|"Couldn't find any chocolate syrup, but I have some orange soda."]]
File:August2021House1.jpg|[[August 2021]]
File:August2021House2.jpg|August 2021
</gallery></center>

===September 2021===
{{main|Yard Tour (2021)}}

===December 2021===
On 16 [[December 2021]], [[Larry Vaughn]] took photos of the house at night, noting also that the [[Son-Chu|van]] was gone<ref>{{Cite Reddit|subreddit=ChrisChanSonichu|title=Just Went to Chris' House for the Second Time This Year. The Van's Gone.|post=ri3xbf/just_went_to_chris_house_for_the_second_time_this}}</ref> (as the photos were taken a few weeks after Barb's Fail to Yield Right of Way accident).
<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Court - 16 Dec 2021.jpg
File:14 Branchland Court - 16 Dec 2021 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

On 20 [[December 2021]], a Kiwi Farms user took a couple photos of the house. He disagreed with [[Larry Vaughn]]'s assertion that there was a "For Sale" sign, stating that he did not see one.<ref name=Dec21photos></ref> The overgrown lawn and bushes around the house also appeared to have been cut back by this time, suggesting that someone was given instructions to tend to it, revealing an abundance of plastic rubbish bins and other objects that had previously been hidden by the greenery.
<center><gallery>
File:14Branch01.jpg
File:14Branch02.jpg
</gallery></center>

===October 2022===
On 15 [[October 2022]] a user on the Kiwi Farms took pictures of the house in the day. The user notes how the patio had rotted and the shed had collapsed.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#October Photos of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo1.jpg ‎
File:IMG 2717.jpg
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo3.jpg
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo4.jpg
</gallery></center>

===January 2023===
{{main|Redditor Ruckersville visit}}
On 22 [[January 2023]], Reddit user Iron_Taipan took photos of the yard. His photos showed bags of trash placed at the curb, including a [[Transformers]] toy box.

<center><gallery>
File:HouseJan23_1.png
File:HouseJan23_2.png
File:HouseJan23_3.png
File:HouseJan23_4.jpg
File:HouseJan23_5.jpg
</gallery></center>

===March 2023===
Posted to a Facebook group, sonichu christianposting, on 13 March 2023.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/11qu2s3/14_blc_as_of_today/</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Ct Mar 2023.jpg
</gallery></center>

===May 2023===
{{main|Fan_visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS}}
On 3 [[May 2023]], Reddit user DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS posted a series of images of the front yard of 14BC at night. Of note, it showed a well-kept exterior, as well as the lit window of [[Chris's room]] and his hand-drawn [[Sonichu_Comic|Sonichu]] poster. Another ween visited on 23 May 2023, taking a daytime photo that does not contain anything of note, although the bins at the front of the property were full of hedge clippings, indicating that a gardener had recently tended to the grounds of the house.

<center><gallery>
File:14BC1_May2023_(1).jpg
File:14BC2_May2023_(1).jpg
File:14BC3_May2023.jpg
File:Ideaguy_poster.jpg|The poster in Chris' window, located on the top right.
File:14BC 25May2023.jpeg|25 May
</gallery></center>

===November 2023===
<center><gallery>
File:10 November 2023 14 Branchland Court1.jpeg
File:10 November 2023 14 Branchland Court2.jpeg|Sampled gravel from the house's driveway. Notice how different they are compared to the [[OfficialCWCmart]] listings.
</gallery></center>

===August 2024===
On 10 [[August 2024]], Reddit user Quiet-Listen-7774 took several pictures of the exterior of the property. There appears to be a swivel chair, a storage tote, and a shelf in front of the house. The lawn was cut and appears to be regrowing, indicating that gardening and other maintenance at the house is ongoing.

<center><gallery>
File:14bc 8-10-24.jpg
File:14bc 2-min.jpg
File:14bc (2) 8-10-24.jpg
File:14bc (3) 8-10-24.jpg
</gallery></center>

===March 2025===
<center><gallery>
File:12 March 2025 14 Branchland Court1.jpeg
File:12 March 2025 14 Branchland Court2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

==TSSSF cards==
14 Branchland Court has been featured as custom [[TSSSF]] cards.

<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Court TSSSF card.jpeg|The house, in which Chris refers to it as a "temple."
File:CWCs Temples Gazebo TSSSF.jpg|The abandoned gazebo. "Come on in."
</gallery></center>

== Videos ==

'''Rammspieler'''

A video panorama view from the street, taken 5 February 2015.

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 14 Branchland Court: The Motion Picture
| ytid = nHRsavBhxGA
| stardate = 5 [[February 2015]]
| maker = Rammspieler
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

Another from 2020.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu HQ (Chris-Chan House June 2020)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QOlC-LLQ7Vc}}
| stardate = 27 [[June 2020]]
| maker = Checkable Reality
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

Another from 2022.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu HQ (Chris-Chan House October 2022)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9n9BBPqJjCo}}
| stardate = 11 [[October 2022]]
| maker = whitepaws
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]
* [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Tour of Chris's House II]]
* [[2014 house fire]]
* [[Chris's homes]]
* [[Property tax assessment]] - Last appraisal of the house made by Greene County before the fire.
* [[Fan visits]]

==References==
<references />
{{Places}}
{{Health}}
{{Money}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

14 Branchland Court

2026-10-07T01:22:10Z

WarnerBro:

{{Split Off}}
{{Protip|CHRIS DOES NOT LIVE HERE ANYMORE. We highly discourage visiting to take photos or troll Barb. She’s an old lady who deserves some peace in her twilight years.}}
{{quote|No burglar would ever want anything in this house.|Chris, being surprisingly ([[Manchester High Leaks|almost]]) modest.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#No burglar would steal Chris's stuff|Mailbag 44]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Number 14 was aflame in '14. LOL|Chris, on the two-year anniversary of his [[2014 house fire|house fire]].<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Number 14 was aflame in '14. LOL]]</ref>}}
[[File:14bc-2024.jpg|thumb|The house in 2024.]]
[[File:August2021House1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2021.]]
[[Image:ChrisHouseMap.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
[[File:14BCBEV.jpg|thumb|A rough drawing of a top-down view of the house in [[2009]]. This cutaway shows the second floor, with [[Chris's room]], the [[kitchen]], living room, bathroom and an unknown area visible.]]

'''14 Branchland Court''', [[Ruckersville, VA]], often abbreviated to '''14BC''', and also currently known as '''[[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Sonichu Headquarters]]''' and the '''Temple of CWC Sonichu'''<ref>[[:File:CWCs Temples Gazebo TSSSF.jpg]]</ref> – is the last bastion of [[autism]]. This was the vile lair of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], up until his [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrest in 2021]]. Currently, it is inhabited by [[Christopher's name change|Christopher's ghost]], Chris's mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]],<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC"/> the surviving [[Chandler Cats|Chandler cats]],<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC"/> and Chris's dog [[Clover and Snoopy|Clover]].<ref name="BarbVisit">[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> It was a white two-story house with dark red trimming (which faded to ivory and pink respectively) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of Ruckersville, although since its renovation has been repainted in beige with dark green shutters. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house is just past the local trailer park and nestled in a lower middle-class suburban community. It was built in [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], and with no major work done from [[1986]]<ref>[[:File:14BranchlandCourt.png]]</ref> to [[2014]], the house shows its age with its tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding.

Chris and his family have notoriously spent decades constantly filling up the house with tons of garbage and junk, earning it the nickname of '''"The Hoard"'''. In earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday in [[2002]], for instance), the house seemed reasonably tidy; but, in his [[Tour of Chris's House|first video tour]], Chris kept referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has only grown fuller and fuller ever since. "Clutter" is, of course, a grievous understatement; the entire house is packed with garbage, to the point where junk fills up entire rooms and reach within two feet of the ceiling (the living room was, for a while, basically inaccessible due to all the accumulated junk). Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid, impassable slabs of filth like in the living room, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

Of the three Chandlers, Barb was the biggest hoarder, and one of the biggest obstacles to cleaning the place aside from the general laziness of the family. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] revealed that Chris's parents were aware of the alarming implications of the house's condition (with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and feared that Chris's video tours could've elicited the attention of the [http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/LHD/ThomasJefferson/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. In the wake of Bob making that remark, [[weens]] made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless, like most efforts to get the state to intervene in Chris's sorry life.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to [[Chris and work#Chores|simple maintenance]], like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts seemed to amount to little more than preventing himself from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis. Barb apparently threatened to throw him out of the house if he were to attempt to dispose of some of her hoard of useless shit.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a [[computer]], but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Whether or not Barb did it to stop Bob from using the computer is unknown, but at any rate he did.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

In [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] to [[Rocky Shoemaker]] in 2011, it was revealed that 14 Branchland Court was infested and that the parasitic infestation caused [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] to be "covered in bug bites" before [[Death of Bob Chandler|his death from heart disease]].

On 10 [[January 2014]], Chris reported that the house had sustained major structural damage from an [[2014 house fire|early-morning house fire]] following an electrical shortage. Chris, Barb, the dogs, Lucy the cat, and other possessions made it out safely, and they spent about a year in a [[Rental House|rental house]] – which they predictably completely trashed – before moving back to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[December 2014]]. Although Chris was temporarily detained in jail after his misadventure on the [[26 December 2014|26th]], he was later released on bail and moved back into his house in [[January 2015]].

The house was vacant between the time of Chris and Barb's separation after the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] fallout, and the first few weeks of the [[Jail Saga]] following Chris's arrest. A [[Kiwi Farms]] user confirmed that Barb returned to the house starting on, or at some point before, [[August 2021|August 29th 2021]].<ref name="BarbBackIn14BC">[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Status of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> As of 2023, it appears that 14 Branchland Court is finally receiving at least some of the TLC it deserves, as recent fan visits have found the lawn being clipped and cleared of rubbish, and portions of the all-consuming hoard within having been extricated into bins to be disposed of, suggesting that someone has been paid to help Barb maintain the property.<ref>[[Fan visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS]]</ref>

Following the dismissal of Chris's case in [[August 2023]], his car was spotted at 14 Branchland Court on 4 [[September 2023]]. Chris retrieved his possessions from the house, such as some [[2021_Lost_Commissions|commissioned artwork he never finished]] from [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|two years ago]]. In [[April 2024]], during a visit to 14 Branchland Court, Chris filmed himself collecting gravel from the front yard for selling on [[OfficialCWCmart]].<ref>[[Harvesting Process, Gravel at the Sonichu Temple]]</ref>

==History==
{{See also|Property tax assessment}}

14 Branchland Court was built in 1977 on a lot of 0.56 acres (2,300 m2.<ref>[[Property tax assessment]]</ref>

Chris's parents presumably purchased 14 Branchland Court at some point between their marriage on 7 June 1980 (at which point they were still living in the Richmond area) and Chris's birth 20 months later. A plaque which hangs above Chris's bed in some videos (notably [[All Star]]) indicates that his parents' nickname for the house was '''"Wes-Chandler-Ton Manor"'''.

Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from his birth on 24 [[February 1982]] until his family moved to the [[Richmond]] area in [[1993]] in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. Initially, Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in [[2000]] after Chris graduated [[high school]]. Chris wrote it as being his home address as of 20 June.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 1]]</ref> In [[Greene County Conspiracy|a video]] released in [[May 2010]], Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. Chris naturally attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system, but as this article explains, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.

The original number of the house was '''46 Branchland Court''' - this is the number given in [[A Week With Christian Chandler]] (2000) and [[Cole Smithey]]'s 1994 postcard to Barbara. It was changed to 14 sometime after 2000.

<center><gallery>
File:0617-AMom&DadMoment.jpg
File:0628-JustChristian3.jpg
File:0614-Mom&Christian.jpg
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==First House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain".|Chris to [[Julie]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}

[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|right|[[Wikipedia:Inferno (Dante)#Canto III: Vestibule of Hell|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.]]]]

In two videos uploaded on 27 [[March 2009]], Chris provided a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so cluttered that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court circa 2009.

{{clear}}

===Ground Floor===
[[File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|250px|Bob in the family room.]]

The north corner is what Chris describes as the '''[[music]] room''' (probably where Bob kept his extensive music collection), which was primarily the domain of Barbara, who frequently slept there. A small '''bathroom''' is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the '''utility room''', in which the family kept a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The '''family room''' (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by Bob, who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, then they were never filmed.

{{clear}}

===Top Floor===
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|Barbara moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in April [[2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

'''[[Chris's room|Chris's bedroom]]''' is in the north corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the east corner, is a filthy '''bathroom''', which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown/green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The '''[[kitchen]]''' and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris used for Internet access at the time was in this part of the house, as was a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] here over a webcam feed. This implies that Chris's parents never actually went upstairs, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wanted]] undisturbed (well, [[Bob Walks In|mostly undisturbed]]). The '''living room''', filled with garbage to the point of uselessness, is across the stairway from Chris's room. It is likely the same as Chris's current '''[[Chris's room#Work room|work room]]''' used for storing toys and shooting videos.

{{clear}}

===Yard===
{{main|Yard (14 Branchland Court)}}

==Second House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House II}}

[[File:14bc1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2012.]]

In 2013, a video was leaked by [[Alec Benson Leary]] showing the state of Chris's home since the last tour he gave in 2009. Needless to say, especially in light of eyewitness reports of his front yard in 2012, the house became even ''more'' of a mess in the following years. Whereas Chris had at least ''some'' room to maneuver in the 2009 Tour Video, here, the passageways have become so narrow and jam-packed that even he complains about all of the clutter being in his way and begins sounding increasingly [[Stress|annoyed]] as he attempts to navigate the claustrophobic environment. The kitchen, in particular, has become an unsightly mess--the Chandlers apparently couldn't be half-assed to put away their groceries, so it's strewn all over the place. The living room, already an ocean of rubbish, has gotten worse, with the accumulated clutter now towering over Chris to the point where he has to stretch to get footage of it. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the [[ShowerClean|last video Chris released of him cleaning it]] - and he even admits so himself in the video.

Even the stairs of his home have become cluttered with nonsense such as Christmas ornaments, boxes, and bags, which could spell disaster if Chris or his mother have to evacuate the premises. Also notable is the fact that every so often, Chris can be observed picking up random pieces of garbage from the floor as well.

In [[Chris and his ego|typical Chris-Chan fashion]], he describes his room as "the cleanest of the whole house", despite it having unsightly masses of clothes everywhere and even an unmade bed that he couldn't be bothered to at least straighten up before making this ill-advised video.

When he steps outside, he basically confirms what trolls have documented as early as 2012: that his lawn is ''completely'' overgrown to the point where it has utterly consumed one of the structures in his yard. Also unsurprising is the fact that after Bob's death, the garden shed has been completely abandoned.

Given his commentary, it ''almost'' seemed like Chris acknowledges that he has kept his home in a very unacceptable condition....right until he blames [[Borb|his parents]] for being "hoarders" and [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|totally shifting blame away from himself]], ''despite'' being the "man" of the house.

By this time, the bug infestation appears to have been gotten rid of, or at least contained. It was stated before that the infestation was so bad that Chris was confined to his room in order to avoid getting bitten, but in this video, no bugs are seen and Chris makes no mention of them.

==2014 house fire==
[[Image:14 Branchland Court on Fire - Copy.jpg|thumb|right|Witness image of 14 Branchland Court on fire. On Facebook, Chris blamed Keurig for causing the fire, but later let slip in an email that it was plugged into a "heavy-duty" extension cord in the basement bathroom.]]

{{Main|2014 house fire}}

On 10 January 2014, a fire broke out at the Chandler household. According to Chris, this was caused by a worn extension cord plugged into a coffee machine, which sparked and started the blaze. Chris, his mother, the beagles, and Lucy (one of the cats) made it out safely, surprising when you consider how much clutter was obstructing the stairways. The firefighters could not effectively navigate the house through either door and were forced to enter through the windows. Sadly, one of the cats (revealed to be Scamper by Chris in February 2016) perished in the fire from smoke inhalation and was later buried in the backyard.

The Chandlers escaped with little more than the clothes on their backs. Chris wrote that he was able to take his wallet, medication for his mother, some clothes, and his iPhone. The day after the fire, he and his mother were allowed to reenter the structure, and he learned to his relief that many of his personal possessions, including his games, his computers, and his artwork, had survived. His [[Lego]] [[high school]] survived, albeit partially melted. Chris was also observed on [[Miiverse]] shortly after the fire, suggesting that he managed to save his [[Nintendo]] 3DS or Wii U at some point. However, it can be assumed that much of the hoard suffered fire, smoke, and/or water damage.

As completely tragic as this incident was, it did not come as much of a surprise, given Barbara's hoarding and Chris's unwillingness or inability to control his mother's compulsions or properly clean. As pointed out by quite a few concerned people, the house had ''always'' been a health and safety hazard, and it was only a matter of time before disaster struck. Sadly, Chris was unable or unwilling to act on this well-meaning advice, and, as a result, reaped what he and his family had sown.

Chris and his mother stayed at a [[Rental House|rental house]] in nearby [[wikipedia:Barboursville, Virginia|Barboursville]] for most of 2014 as repairs to 14 Branchland Court were made. They also rented a storage locker. To the shock of absolutely no one, Chris and Barb managed to trash that house up as well; photos taken by Chris showed rodent shit on the house's carpeting, and [[Rental House Tour|eyewitness reports]] showed that the conditions in the rental house were basically the same as they were at 14 Branchland Court. Trolls reported in [[April 2015]] that the house was still vacant four months after Chris and Barb moved out.

For reasons which are not entirely clear, the renovation of the house took much longer than anticipated. Nevertheless, the worst fears, that the house would be condemned or the renovations would not be finished, were unrealized. In December 2014 and January 2015, the Chandlers moved back in.

==Post-fire renovation==

[[File:14bc215.jpg|thumb|left|A renovated 14BC.]]

On the 6th of December, 2014, Chris announced on [[Facebook]] that his home had finally been repaired, and he would be moving back in near the start of the [[2015|new year]]. Ever a busy man, Chris managed to fit a [[26 December 2014|run-in with the law on Boxing Day, followed by two days in jail]] into his moving schedule. Once he was released on bond on 29 December, Chris was shortly back to complaining about having a "Charlie Horse [sic]" from moving his mother's hoard back to the house.

After Chris's second hearing in April started and finished half an hour early, and they failed to make it in, the Christorians who took it upon themselves to attend decided to make the most of their visit and go on a tour of the major places in Chris' life, including 14 Branchland Court. The photographs they took showed that the Chandler headquarters had been modernized, and no longer looked like ''total'' shit. This is partially due to the modernized exterior, and partially due to most of the hoard still being in storage. Photographs also showed some sort of outhouse in the backyard raised off the ground, and soon to be full of the hoard.

Other notable changes:

*The [[kitchen]] became accessible and could once again be used for cooking. Chris used it to [[Specimen Sample|store his semen]].
*Chris's [[bedroom]] moved to the first floor, his former room being used for storage.
*The downstairs living room, formerly full of Barb's hoard, became Chris's toy-filled workroom.

===Return of the hoard===
{{quote|A loving fairly well-kept home of my father. I kept it up..|Chris, lying to himself about the state of his home in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video]]
}}

[[File:Sonic Totem and More.png|thumb|250px|A room filled with what is presumably Barb's hoard.]]

In the few years after having the house rebuilt, the Chandlers' negligence and hoarding slowly turned it back to its filthy, cluttered past, proving, like mother like son, Barb is just as incapable of learning from her mistakes as Chris. Ironically, the Garden, which in the years before the fire had become increasingly bereft of plants, was just about the only part of the property which thrived as of 2020, having become overgrown and unkempt with weeds, wildflowers, and plants encroaching from neighboring properties.

<center><gallery>
File:Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!! original.mp400001.png|Nov 2016 - The dirty hallway carpet, seen in [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!!]]
File:A few seconds of Barb dancing.png|April 2018 - At the bottom left is one of the newspaper spots where [[Clover and Snoopy]] [[Clover and Snoopy#Poor Living Conditions and Neglect|relieve themselves]]. Near the [[kitchen]] entrance.
File:Filthy carpet in Work Room - July 2019.jpg|July 2019 - Filthy, stained carpet against a hoard of toys, taken in Chris's [[Work Room]] through the Pokemon Go game, shared with the comment, "Party Time."
File:Mewtwo May 2020.jpg|Outside of the house, with stained exterior.
</gallery></center>

In October 2017, one of the bathrooms had a clogged shower drain, possibly stuffed up with Chris's seaweed [[hair]]. His solution was to pour Liquid Plumr into it and whine that every house should have two bathtubs.<ref>[[October 2017 tweets#Clogged shower drain]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Third House Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House III}}

Chris filmed the third tour during [[March 2018]]. While his house is shown being ''very'' slightly less messy than it normally is, even that's being ridiculously charitable. Chris's room is packed to the rafters with all sorts of clothes and Rubbermaid bins, though it is semi-accessible, and shockingly, so are the oven and kitchen sink. Overall, he is shown having less of a struggle walking through his house, but there is still plenty of junk accumulating over the tables, hallways, kitchen, and shelves.

==Mortgage==
The Chandler family has assumed two mortgages on 14 Branchland Court. The first was fully paid sometime before [[February 2009]], when Chris attested his house had no mortgage against it.<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref> The '''second mortgage''' on the property was filed in [[April 2009]] for $130,000,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-11#post-1896956</ref> held at first by {{w|SunTrust Banks}} but since transferred to [https://seterus.com/ Seterus], now operating as {{w|Mr. Cooper}}<ref>https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-financial-protection-bureau-settles-with-mortgage-servicer-for-illegal-practices-that-impeded-borrowers-attempts-to-avoid-foreclosure/#:~:text=Seterus%20is%20no%20longer%20operating,Cooper.</ref>. As of 31 [[August 2016]], the Chandlers still owe '''$115,000''', which is still more than the property is actually worth.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-12#post-1900319</ref> Chris's [[monthly tugboat]] furnishes (or once furnished) the roughly $800 monthly payment.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Hmmph!|"I pay the monthly mortgage which kills most of my monthly."]]</ref><ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts|Whining about the mortgage]]</ref> Contrary to a popular misconception, it is not a reverse mortgage:<ref>https://financial-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/reverse+mortgage</ref><ref>The latest confirmation that 14 Branchland Court currently has no reverse mortgage was during [[Discord Q&A 7]] on the night of 15 September 2020.</ref> the mortgage is estimated to extend thirty years, with 5% interest.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-12#post-1901342</ref>

Among the Chandlers' various [[debt]]s, the mortgage is the primary cause of the [[Financhu Crisis]]: acute circumstances relating to it have caused Chris to resort to begging many times. As for the reason why the Chandlers took on said mortgage can be summed up to paying off Barb's credit card debt; a bad move. On one occasion, [[Chris and negotiation|he pleaded idly]] with his [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] to pay the entire mortgage at once for him.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Who wants to pay our mortgage?!]]</ref> Moreover, the Chandlers have repeatedly neglected their monthly payments. When the [[Idea Guys]] had threatened to destroy [[CWCville]] and his [[eBay]] sales were not enough to meet their $6,000 ransom, Chris withheld a mortgage payment to save his [[Chris and reality|fictional setting]].

Chris's closest flirt with financial ruin occurred on 8 [[May 2018]], when he announced that the home could be foreclosed upon if they failed to make two mortgage payments the next day;<ref>[[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE#Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!|Please, HELP US! FORECLOSURE RISK HIGH!]]</ref> fans donated enough to prevent this. Onlookers speculate, given [[Chris and money|Chris's financial habits]] and [[Barb]]'s other debts, that after she passes away, that the estate could well be liquidated after her passing, or that Chris may struggle to keep up mortgage payments in the face of so many [[My Little Pony|tempting]] [[Vidya|distractions]].

Chris claimed in [[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021|a jail letter]] that the "Sonichu Temple" now had a mortgage of less than $90,000 (assuming he has mastered the distinction between the [[Chris and science#Algebra|greater than and less than symbols]]), and begged for donations to [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] to help pay this.

During a gaming livestream from [[November 2023]], Chris said that funds from [[OfficialCWCmart]] and streams were helping to pay a mortgage (though Chris did not specify which mortgage and was at the time living in a [[Big Island, VA]] house he was renting).<ref>[[First JCWCSP Gaming Live Stream ⚡️💙⚡️]]</ref> In [[November 2025]], Chris announced sales of his ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''GoBots'' figures with the claimed goal "to raise money to completely pay off the Mortgage on the old Sonichu Temple."<ref>[[JCWCSP's OLDER Transformers and Gobots Figures For Sale on Cwclight]]</ref> In [[March 2026]], while advertising his [[Cameo]], Chris claimed that savings towards the mortgage to be going very well.<ref>[[March 2026 social media posts#Attention, please]]</ref> On 29 [[July 2026]], Chris claimed in a video that he was about 20% of the way through the mortgage.<ref>[[CLog 07282026 - YouTube Channel Announcements and Updates]]</ref>

==Neighbors==
{{quote|When I was pulling up to the stop sign on the cul-de-sac, the neighbor directly across the street from 14 Branchland yelled out "He's in jail!" with a big grin.|A Kiwi Farms user visiting 14 Branchland Court in the wake of Chris's [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge.<ref name=Dec21photos>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#December Photos of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Ruckersville house prices near 14BC.jpeg|thumb|House prices in the vicinity of 14BC reported on Zillow in 2019. Note the decent price estimates of neighboring buildings, while 14BC itself lacks a valuation altogether.]]
Although the Chandlers have mostly kept to themselves over the years, they have had some notable interactions with their neighbors:

*The [[abusive babysitter]] was a neighbor of the Chandlers in 1983, living on Westwood Drive (probably at number 6), Ruckersville.
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] was one of Chris's neighbors when they were children.
*In the aftermath of the [[2014 house fire]], a neighbor allowed Chris and Barb to stay with them temporarily.<ref>[[January 2014 Facebook Posts#FIRE.21]]</ref>
*Barb once tried to steal a neighbor's dog which had slipped out of its collar but was forced to return it when the neighbor showed up at their door.<ref>[[Clover and Snoopy#Stealing a Neighbor.27s Dog]]</ref>
*At some point in 2014, a deeply paranoid Chris told of a feud with a preteen neighbor whom he had suspected of stealing his old homework and passing it in for credit. According to Chris, the Chandlers (Barb and Chris) contacted Animal Control on the neighbor's cat and had it put to sleep, after it had scratched Chris. Chris claims the neighbor retaliated by training a snake to invade 14 Branchland Court, egging the house and stealing some items.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Chris the Cat-Killer]]</ref>
*In 2015, Chris uploaded [[A few kicks]], a video of him kicking a soccer ball around in his yard. At one point, the ball enters the road and Chris gives chase. He abruptly stops once the ball enters a neighbor's driveway, possibly meaning that he had been told not to go on that property without permission.
*In 2017, one of Chris's cats, [[Sorbet]], was injured while outside and ended up under a neighbor's gutter.<ref>[[May 2017 Facebook_posts]]</ref>
*On 25 [[January 2019]], Chris claimed that a neighbor angrily yelled at Chris for making his child [[tomgirl|question their gender identity]].<ref>[[January 2019 social media posts#Week round-up]]</ref>
*On 15 [[July 2021]], one of Chris's neighbors helped him bury his dog [[Snoopy]].<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Eulogy for Snoopy]]</ref>

==Visiting==
{{main|Fan visits}}
[[File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto2.png|thumb|200px|A fan visiting Chris at his house.]]
When occupied by the Chandlers, visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and trades the deed to it for magic beans, are ill-advised. Harassing the Chandlers at their house is not only the paragon of [[ween]] behavior, ''it is also a criminal offense'' and will probably result in you getting arrested. Chris and especially Barb shouldn't have to contend with the troll horde within the sanctum of their own home. We shouldn't have to be saying it at this point, but '''do not visit 14 Branchland Court to troll Chris or Barb'''.

Unless, of course, you ''are'' personally invited. To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], the [[Magical Man]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], [[Catherine]] and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them except Magical Man has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned.

Despite this, some fans have made the trip out to visit Chris at his home and have posed for photos with him, showing that Chris had lightened up on his stance.

In 2021, after [[Jail Saga|Chris was jailed for incest]], some weens made the pilgrimage to harass Barb for information about Chris, leaving empty-handed.
That said, it bears repeating: '''do NOT visit 14 Branchland Court to harass Barb,''' as you are likely causing undue stress on an ailing woman who had an incestuous affair with her own son.

==Chris and his address==
[[File:Sonichu temple of ruckersville in cwcville va by nightstarrosechu2891 dg6od5t-pre.jpg|thumb|Drawing of Chris' house by him ([[December 2021]])]]
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Chris has probably never realized this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.
* On 29 January 2016, Chris proved he hasn't learned a ''thing'' over the years when, in [[Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever|a video]] intended to dissuade [[trolls|well-meaning fans]] from sending mail to famous YouTuber [[PewDiePie]] (aka Felix Kjellberg) at his address, he felt the need to specify 14 Branchland Court as the address at which Kjellberg does not live.
* On 20 April 2019, Chris listed his address and phone number as part of the [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Google My Business]] program under the name "Sonichu Headquarters." He also expressed interest in making his house a PokéStop. In August 2020, this [[The_Place_chats_(August_2020)#PokeStop_rejection|request was rejected]], as private dwellings are not allowed to become PokéStops.
When he and Barb stayed at the rental house, it didn't take long for him to [[Brushfire Video|drop ''that'' house's address]].

When Chris writes out his full home address, he has a tendency to write his nine-digit [[wikipedia:ZIP_Code#ZIP+4|ZIP+4]] number (22968-'''''9545''''') instead of just his five-digit ZIP Code. This is rarely done for home addresses as it is considered unnecessary.

==The Fate of 14 BC==
It goes without saying the house will be foreclosed once Barb passes away. What will become of it afterward remains uncertain. Because Chris no longer resides there, it is unlikely he'll be moving back in given his bad [[Financhu Crisis|financial]] [[Debt|record]], in addition to his tugboat being insufficient to cover upkeep, let alone mortgage. As for the property itself, it's possible the house will either be [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|condemned and subsequently demolished]] by the Virginia Health Department, sold to a family looking for a place to live (provided the property is up to standards), a [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fan]] looking to preserve the property, or by weens trying to outbid one another in order to convert it into a [[Messiah complex|temple]]/[[Chris and his ego|museum]] for all things Chris and Sonichu related.

==Gallery==
===September 2013===
On 7 [[September 2013]], some pictures of the house were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BranchlandCourt1.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt2.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt3.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt4.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt5.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

===March 2014===
On 3 [[March 2014]], pictures of the house post-fire were leaked on the forums. On the 3rd and 4th shots, note the damage to the left half of the roof, matching the location of the shot of the actual fire.
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BCPostFire1.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire2.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire3.jpg|
File:14BCPostFire4.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

===April 2014===
On 13 [[April 2014]], more pictures were leaked on the forums, then to the CWCki on the following day. Most of the windows had now been boarded up as the repair work commenced, and a large tarpaulin was covering the section of the roof where the fire had broken out to stop water from getting in. Chris's second known [[Son-Chu|car]], a white Cadillac Seville, was in attendance at the time. [[Cousin Al]] alleged that he had access to pictures of the interior, but they were "too sensitive for [him] to release anytime in the near future."<ref>https://kiwifarms.st/threads/2014-04-14-photographs-of-house-reconstruction.3452/#post-211669</ref>

<center>
<gallery>
File:IMG 5307.JPG|
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File:IMG 5357.JPG|
File:IMG 5358.JPG|
</gallery>
</center>

===May 2014===
On 7 [[May 2014]], [[Cousin Al]] leaked three more pictures of the house, revealing that some of the garbage had been moved from the front. Chris's window has also been altered a tiny bit.

<center>
<gallery>
File:NewPlywoodChrisRoomWindow.JPG
File:TrashIsGone.JPG
File:CrapOnTheGround.JPG
</gallery>
</center>

===April 2015===
Yet more pictures were leaked in [[April 2015]], showing the house as it appeared after the renovations.

<center><gallery>
File:14BCApril2015I.jpg
File:14BCApril2015G.jpg
File:14BCApril2015F.jpg
File:14BCApril2015D.jpg
File:14BCApril2015C.jpg
File:14BCApril2015B.jpg
File:14BCApril2015H.jpg|Barb's car, still for sale.
File:14BCApril2015E.jpg
File:14BCApril2015.jpg|The front yard, still a sty.
File:Bobs greenhouse.jpeg|Bob's old greenhouse.
File:Itj5aFp.jpg
</gallery></center>

===June 2017-August 2021===
More, from [[June 2017]] to [[August 2021]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382102</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:14 BC in 2017 1.jpg|The lawn, overgrown but not ''quite'' as wrecked as it used to be.
File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|[[Son-Chu]], next to Barb's Dodge Caravan.
File:14 BC in 2017 3.jpg|While not visible in the photo, the license plate for Barb's car is "B. Weston".
File:14 BC in 2017 4.jpg|[[Patti]]'s doghouse.
File:14bc June 2019.jpg| [[June 2019]]
File:14bc620.jpg|[[June 2020]]
File:June2021Visit2.jpg|June 2020: [[Fanta|"Couldn't find any chocolate syrup, but I have some orange soda."]]
File:August2021House1.jpg|[[August 2021]]
File:August2021House2.jpg|August 2021
</gallery></center>

===September 2021===
{{main|Yard Tour (2021)}}

===December 2021===
On 16 [[December 2021]], [[Larry Vaughn]] took photos of the house at night, noting also that the [[Son-Chu|van]] was gone<ref>{{Cite Reddit|subreddit=ChrisChanSonichu|title=Just Went to Chris' House for the Second Time This Year. The Van's Gone.|post=ri3xbf/just_went_to_chris_house_for_the_second_time_this}}</ref> (as the photos were taken a few weeks after Barb's Fail to Yield Right of Way accident).
<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Court - 16 Dec 2021.jpg
File:14 Branchland Court - 16 Dec 2021 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

On 20 [[December 2021]], a Kiwi Farms user took a couple photos of the house. He disagreed with [[Larry Vaughn]]'s assertion that there was a "For Sale" sign, stating that he did not see one.<ref name=Dec21photos></ref> The overgrown lawn and bushes around the house also appeared to have been cut back by this time, suggesting that someone was given instructions to tend to it, revealing an abundance of plastic rubbish bins and other objects that had previously been hidden by the greenery.
<center><gallery>
File:14Branch01.jpg
File:14Branch02.jpg
</gallery></center>

===October 2022===
On 15 [[October 2022]] a user on the Kiwi Farms took pictures of the house in the day. The user notes how the patio had rotted and the shed had collapsed.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#October Photos of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo1.jpg ‎
File:IMG 2717.jpg
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo3.jpg
File:Jeff the Thriller 14 Branchland Court photo4.jpg
</gallery></center>

===January 2023===
{{main|Redditor Ruckersville visit}}
On 22 [[January 2023]], Reddit user Iron_Taipan took photos of the yard. His photos showed bags of trash placed at the curb, including a [[Transformers]] toy box.

<center><gallery>
File:HouseJan23_1.png
File:HouseJan23_2.png
File:HouseJan23_3.png
File:HouseJan23_4.jpg
File:HouseJan23_5.jpg
</gallery></center>

===March 2023===
Posted to a Facebook group, sonichu christianposting, on 13 March 2023.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/11qu2s3/14_blc_as_of_today/</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Ct Mar 2023.jpg
</gallery></center>

===May 2023===
{{main|Fan_visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS}}
On 3 [[May 2023]], Reddit user DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS posted a series of images of the front yard of 14BC at night. Of note, it showed a well-kept exterior, as well as the lit window of [[Chris's room]] and his hand-drawn [[Sonichu_Comic|Sonichu]] poster. Another ween visited on 23 May 2023, taking a daytime photo that does not contain anything of note, although the bins at the front of the property were full of hedge clippings, indicating that a gardener had recently tended to the grounds of the house.

<center><gallery>
File:14BC1_May2023_(1).jpg
File:14BC2_May2023_(1).jpg
File:14BC3_May2023.jpg
File:Ideaguy_poster.jpg|The poster in Chris' window, located on the top right.
File:14BC 25May2023.jpeg|25 May
</gallery></center>

===November 2023===
<center><gallery>
File:10 November 2023 14 Branchland Court1.jpeg
File:10 November 2023 14 Branchland Court2.jpeg|Sampled gravel from the house's driveway. Notice how different they are compared to the [[OfficialCWCmart]] listings.
</gallery></center>

===August 2024===
On 10 [[August 2024]], Reddit user Quiet-Listen-7774 took several pictures of the exterior of the property. There appears to be a swivel chair, a storage tote, and a shelf in front of the house. The lawn was cut and appears to be regrowing, indicating that gardening and other maintenance at the house is ongoing.

<center><gallery>
File:14bc 8-10-24.jpg
File:14bc 2-min.jpg
File:14bc (2) 8-10-24.jpg
File:14bc (3) 8-10-24.jpg
</gallery></center>

===March 2025===
<center><gallery>
File:12 March 2025 14 Branchland Court1.jpeg
File:12 March 2025 14 Branchland Court2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

==TSSSF cards==
14 Branchland Court has been featured as custom [[TSSSF]] cards.

<center><gallery>
File:14 Branchland Court TSSSF card.jpeg|The house, in which Chris refers to it as a "temple."
File:CWCs Temples Gazebo TSSSF.jpg|The abandoned gazebo. "Come on in."
</gallery></center>

== Videos ==

'''Rammspieler'''

A video panorama view from the street, taken 5 February 2015.

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 14 Branchland Court: The Motion Picture
| ytid = nHRsavBhxGA
| stardate = 5 [[February 2015]]
| maker = Rammspieler
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

Another from 2020.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu HQ (Chris-Chan House June 2020)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QOlC-LLQ7Vc}}
| stardate = 27 [[June 2020]]
| maker = Checkable Reality
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

Another from 2022.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu HQ (Chris-Chan House October 2022)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9n9BBPqJjCo}}
| stardate = 11 [[October 2022]]
| maker = whitepaws
| subject = 14 Branchland Court
}}

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]
* [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Tour of Chris's House II]]
* [[2014 house fire]]
* [[Chris's homes]]
* [[Property tax assessment]] - Last appraisal of the house made by Greene County before the fire.
* [[Fan visits]]

==References==
<references />
{{Places}}
{{Health}}
{{Money}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

The Simpsons

2026-10-07T01:16:48Z

WarnerBro: /* Lisa Simpson Presidency */

{{Honest}}
[[File:DorkyExpression.jpg|thumb|Chris rips off Homer's catchphrase.]]

'''''The Simpsons''''' is an animated sitcom debuting in 1989, about an [[Bob Chandler|extremely]] [[Barbara Chandler|dysfunctional]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|family]], their daily life, and their various wacky adventures. Of course, Chris loves it; he's also a fan of similar animated series like ''[[Family Guy]]'' and as of later, ''F is For Family''. It goes without saying that the cutting [[parody|satire]] which has characterized the show goes over Chris's head.

==Appearances==
[[File:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|They would later have their own [[Bob Walks In|family bonding]]...]]
[[File:Homer Simpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, drawn for the [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Everfree Northwest]] fundraiser.]]
[[File:July12Fundraiser1.jpg|thumb|Formerly Chuck's.]]

Chris has [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] or referenced ''The Simpsons'' many times in his life. Specifically:

*In the [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|gallery of failure]] Chris added to his own [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article in March 2008, Chris tried to show some humility by having himself rip off Homer's catchphrase, seen at the top-right.
*Chris video taped himself [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|singing his own version of the Mr. Plow remix]] featured in ''The Simpsons'' 20th anniversary special.
*Chris has a Homer Simpson figurine on the dashboard of [[Son-Chu|his car]].
*Chris laughs like {{w|Nelson Muntz}}, a character of the series renowned for his signature "Ha, ha!" laugh, in the [[Secret Weapon]] video.
*Chris seems to have also lifted the idea of a second Valentine's Day called "[[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|Love Day]]" from the episode "{{w|Trash of the Titans}}." Of course, Chris missed the point that the holiday was an artificial one born out of [[Ego#Materialism|greed and selfishness]] rather than love, and also that the very people who created it thought it sounded stupid when they said the name should be, "like 'Love Day,' only not so lame."
*Many trolls have also noticed [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s similarities to {{w|Lisa Simpson}}, as both have spiky hair and are said to be child prodigies. The difference is that Lisa isn't a bastard child born from an egg, and she has a personality.
*In the [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|Common Questions]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris was called out on blatantly stealing jokes from many other shows. Chris justified himself by saying, "''Like [[Family Guy]], Simpsons, [[Excel Saga]], and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "{{w|Simpsons Already Did It|Simpsons}} [[South Park|Did It]]."''"
*[[Rule 34]] of Marge Simpson can be seen on the 63rd floor of [[4-cent_garbage.com]] headquarters in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].
*In [[Mumble 4]], Chris compared his life to Homer Simpson while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] (and does an impersonation of Homer).
*Chris downloaded ''{{w|The Simpsons Game}}'' on the [[List of Chris's games|PS3]].
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris "created" [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Constable Lou]], who may be connected to [[Wikipedia:List of recurring The Simpsons characters#Lou|Lou]].
*In the [[Chris dispels videogame rumors#cite_ref-0s|Chris dispels videogame rumors]] video, Chris attempted to reference, but ultimately ended up mangling, a joke from {{w|Sideshow Bob}} from the "{{w|Cape Feare}}" episode.
*In the [[Jackie]] saga, Chris decided to [[100 2277|cosplay Homer Simpson wearing Fred Flintstone's shirt]].
*Chris's affinity for [[muscle bra]]s could be attributed to a bit in the episode "{{w|Days of Wine and D'oh'ses}}" in which Homer finds one in a dumpster and comments "All I know is that, finally, I am getting the support I need."
*Chris bought the iPhone game ''The Simpsons: Tapped Out'' and spent an estimated $1,000 on DLC for it by September 2013.<ref>[[Chris's spending on iPhone games]]</ref>
*In 2019, Chris criticized Matt Groening for not allowing his characters to age: ''"They keep watering down the Chronicled Media for the sake of recognition, and THE MONEY. It is a real shame and a crime for them to mischronicle their OCs like that all of this time. I admit, I was no different as well, but I am reconciling, making amends, and taking firmer responsibility over my bunch of OCs and citizens as best as I can with my family, loves, allies and everyone there."''<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts]]</ref>
*In 2020, Chris (while being [[Spirit possession#Sonichu|"possessed" by Sonichu]]) mentioned in a [[Discord Q&A]] that Lisa Simpson was set to be the next [[president]] of the [[United States]] after the [[Dimensional Merge]] has been completed. This likely takes influence from the episode "{{w|Bart to the Future}}", which showcases a future in which President Lisa Simpson's administration succeeds [[Pmurt|Donald Trump's]]. However, the events of "Bart to the Future" are not predictive, despite numerous viral videos promoting such misconception: Donald Trump considered running for the job in 1999, one year before the episode aired, and the first of the six bankruptcies to affect his businesses (which the national debt joke referenced) occurred in 1991.<ref>https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/simpsons-predict-trump</ref>
*In 2021, Chris drew a [[commission]] of Sneed's Feed and Seed (Formerly Chuck's), a sign gag from the episode "{{w|E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)}}" which became a popular meme on [[4chan]]. The run-down depiction of the store is either an interpretation of how it would appear in the modern day or an alternate [[dimension]] version of the location.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> According to [[Null]], Chris privately told him in relation to this drawing that Sneed was dead and that Sneed and Chuck had been [[homo|gay]] [[Chris and sex#Incest|incestuous]] lovers.<ref>https://madattheinternet.com/2021/12/03/loicense-to-sneed/</ref>
*Chris also draw Homer Simpson for a commission request.<ref>[[:File:Homer Simpson.jpg]]</ref>
*In multiple [[jail letters]], Chris describes the Qur'an as being to the Bible what ''Family Guy'' is to ''the Simpsons'' (i.e. an inferior derivative work).

==Marge poster==
[[Image:MargePoster.jpg|thumb|right|Before you ask – yes, this is official art.]]

The centerfold poster of [http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/10/marge-simpson-playboy-photos-revealed/ Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine] became one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a [[homos#Defenses against becoming homo|homo]].

Interestingly enough, there were two potential choices for him to pin on his wall; the first was a more coy picture of Marge undressing (breasts visible but nipples concealed), the shadow of an eager Homer projected onto the rear wall, with Marge making eye contact with her husband.

The second was of Marge wearing a see-through dress, looking directly at the camera and offering donuts to the viewer. Chris, ever classy, picked the one with the [[Plush Breasts|boobs]] more seeable and rejected the one that even had the shadow of a [[JERKS|man]] on it (especially since Marge was looking at Homer, and not [[Chris|the camera]]).

The poster was presumably destroyed in the [[2014 house fire|2014 fire]].

==Lisa Simpson Presidency==
In [[November 2020]], Chris apparently [[Chris and politics|voted for Lisa Simpson]] in that year's election despite voicing his support for [[Joe Biden]]; [[Chris and reality|he actually believed]] she would become POTUS after the [[Dimensional Merge]] takes place.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 5#Operation of CWCville's Government]]</ref> This belief presumably takes its influence from ''The Simpsons'' episode "Bart to the Future," which is set years in the future after Lisa succeeds [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]'s (then-fictional) administration.

==Vocal impressions==
In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5|BlueSpike's PSN Chat v3.5]], Chris attempts (very poorly) some impressions of various Simpsons characters (specifically Mr. Burns, Homer, Marge and Maggie). He would do the same in [[Mumble 7]], impersonating Homer and fellow Matt Groening character [[Futurama|Bender]]; in an eerie bit of foreshadowing, Chris's Homer and Bender voices [[BlueSpike|sound exactly the same]], but he doesn't notice.

During his trip to the Downtown Mall with TheGamerFromMars and [[Copitz]], as seen in "[[The Chris Chan Conspiracy#Episode 3: The Golden Age of Chris Chan|The Golden Age of Chris-Chan]]", Chris [[Random-access humor|spontaneously]] launched into an impression of the character Apu, specifically [[Chris and race|copying his stereotypical Indian accent]]... while ''inside an Indian restaurant.'' He was quickly shushed by his embarrassed hosts, though he still wedged in a "Welcome to Kwik-E-Mart!" afterwards.

{{clear}}
{{References}}

==External links==
*''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' at [[Wikipedia]]

{{TV}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons}}
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

4-cent garbage.com

2026-10-05T16:47:16Z

WarnerBro:

{{Honest}}

[[Image:4-cent garbage.png|thumb|200px|INTERNET AUTISTIC HATE MACHINE]]
[[File:SchuComic8P11.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Star Wars|''"4-cent garbage. Never will you find a more wretched hive of lulz and trolling."'']]]]

'''4-cent_garbage''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s idea of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and 4chan. Since he blames ED for [[Megan Schroeder|breaking up the closest thing to a relationship that he ever had]], he must demonize it in his comics.

In the comics, it is depicted as a business based in a large 72 floor office building in which several hundred [[Trolls|employees]] work. Apparently, the business runs both a website and a magazine, the contents of which are unclear. The website seems to be analogous to the real life ED, having several articles on existing people, or at least mentioning them<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_30</ref> and a huge load of dickgirl images which are uploaded nearly constantly.

Jason's final speech in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], as well as Chris's ramblings in the [[Time Void]], seem to indicate that any percieved inaccuracies in the articles or images hosted on the site are deliberate attempts to slander Chris and his Sonichus.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_31</ref> Why exactly Jason would wish to do this or [[Chris and his ego#Persecution complex|why he has chosen to target Chris]] is never addressed, but his presence at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] meeting in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]] seem to suggest that the company and all of its employees are a part of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s secret trolling cabal.

It is worth noting that this was the only actual [[parody]] which Chris ever intentionally created.

==Inspiration==

4chan is an internet forum with dozens of boards dedicated to both broad and niche topics, from [[anime]] to the [[Magical thinking|paranormal]], from [[Chris and art|art]] to [[Nudes|pornography]]. Well-known as a platform full of trolls and [[homos]], 4chan's place in Christory is short-lived but highly influential - and some of the first contact Chris ever had with trolls. In late 2007, members of the video games board took notice of Chris's comics and began creating satirical (largely pornographic) artwork based on ''Sonichu''. A collection of this art was sent to Chris by 4chan user Evan, provoking fury and the demand that Rosechu be drawn "masturbating and squirtin'", rather than with a massive penis. The email exchanges between Chris and Evan would peter out in the face of Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Encyclopedia Dramatica (ED for short) is a satirical [[Wikipedia]] copy with hundreds of articles on internet culture, personalities, and politics- all of which are written to be as offensive as possible. Just like 4chan, it is full of trolls and homos.

In [[2007]], while stoking his [[Chris and his ego|ego]], Chris discovered ED's page satirizing him and [[Sonichu (comic)|his Sonichu comics]]. What really [[Family Guy|ground his gears]] about the page was the "fan art" of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle|penis]]. Beginning 10 November 2007, Chris embarked on a quest to [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|make the website less scathing]] by uploading hideously drawn [[Rule 34]] of his little abominations (and [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]), along with the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to his page.

Evan never mentioned that he was from 4chan, so Chris likely found out about the site through a message sent by a [[White-Knights|white-knight]]. An [[White knight e-mails#November 2007 .E2.80.94 ED alert|e-mail]] on 5 November 2007 attempted to alert him to the ED page, and referred to the article as being created and written by the same people making fun of Chris on 4chan's /v/ board. Whether he paid any attention to the message or not, what is known is that on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#November 2007|12 November 2007]], Chris first acknowledged 4chan when he made another edit to the "Chris-chan" article:

{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler would like ED and 4chan to know the following: '''I will continue to Shove The True Facts From My Heart and Soul Down Your Throats, only until you take this WHOLE PAGE Down For Good.'''}}

From this, it can be reasonably assumed that Chris discovered 4chan and ED around the same time, and that he considered them to be essentially one and the same. Chris would continue his Sisyphean edit war against ED well into 2008, but ultimately, all he succeeded in doing was making himself more of a target and alienating [[Megan Schroeder]].

By [[2008#August|August 2008]], Chris was finishing [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and he apparently felt the need to address these recent developments in the pages of his comic. Issue #7 opened with Megan as a supporting character in the story, but with the [[Megan Emails, 2008#Megan asks Chris to leave her alone again.2C attempts to talk sense into him|real Megan wanting nothing more to do with Chris]], he decided to write her out of the story. As for ED and 4chan, Chris would lump these two concepts together and dub them "4-cent_garbage_Magazine.com." The name is a slight mystery, because underscores (_) are not permitted in Internet domain names.

==Introduction: ''Sonichu'' #7==
''Sonichu'' #7 was the first issue of the series to be influenced by Chris's interactions with online [[trolls]]. While Chris didn't finish the comic until 20 August 2008, the events of the issue are all set in 2 November 2007, one day before the ED article was created. Just as past issues of ''Sonichu'' were very loosely based on Chris's real life, he must have wanted to acknowledge the conflict with ED/4chan and his estrangement from Megan in #7. But all of that happened ''after'' 2 November 2007.

Chris's solution was the [[Time Void]]; a poorly-defined realm where Chris's character would be trapped for the next two issues. While stranded in the Time Void, Chris would somehow experience events going on in his real life while the fictional events in the comics unfolded without him. Upon entering the Time Void, Chris found himself assaulted by "random...new memories...popping in...my head!" These were memories of things that happened after 2 November 2007, so Chris was essentially using the Time Void to "remember" the future. Along with fictional events like the [[Sonichu 9|Battle of CWCville]], Chris also experienced "memories" of [[Joshua Martinez]] setting him up with "[[Lori Lopez]]", and Megan "dumping" him via [[Megan_Emails, 2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|e-mail]].

{{quote|Dumping me? But why?!! 4-cent_garbage_Magazine.com? Mocking me? Slanderous Filth?!!! A drawing of me and [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Meg-Chan]]... Intimate? And I drew that?!! She dumped me over that? Oh... that hurts! Still. Curse your 4-cent garbage!|Chris first mentions 4-cent_garbage in the Time Void, ''Sonichu'' #7}}

It became clear from this scene that once Chris escaped from the Time Void, he would do battle with 4-cent_Garbage as a proxy for ED and 4chan, just as he had battled [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] as proxies for those who interfered with his [[Love Quest]].

==Conflict with Sonichu and Rosechu: ''Sonichu'' #8==
[[Image:4-CENT-GARBAGE.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and his super cool pals in front of the 4-cent_garbage.com headquarters]]
In the first part of ''Sonichu'' #8, "Rage Against the Garbage", 4-cent_garbage was formally introduced as a villainous organization dedicated to slandering people for the sake of amusement. (Note Chris's inability to differentiate between {{w|Defamation#Slander|slander}} and {{w|Defamation#Libel|libel}}, the former of which requires spoken words or real-life gestures, impossible for a website or magazine to do.) Rosechu discovers the site on 3 November 2007, which just happens to be the date that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] created the "Chris-chan" article on ED. The site's content includes a page that slanders Sonichu, Chris, and her, along with "lifelike" drawings of Rosechu with a [[pickle]]. While Sonichu is overcome with the [[Chris and stress|stress]] of seeing his mate depicted with a penis, Rosechu decides to fight fire with fire by editing the site, just as Chris had tried in real life. She crawls into her [[April 16 Fetish Vids|dirty, mildew-laden bathroom]] and takes pictures of herself in the [[nudes|nude]], and then uploads them onto the 4-cent website. However, 4-cent_garbage simply adds more dickgirl pictures, and she realizes that her plan will never work.

Instead, she travels with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] to 4-cent_garbage's headquarters in {{w|Clarksville, Tennessee}}, to confront the leader of the organization. While Wild sneaks into the building in search of one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], Sonichu and Rosechu take the elevator to the top floor, and meet [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and his 17-year-old "womanslave" [[Kathleen]], who had previously cameoed in issue #7. The meeting is civil at first, but when Jason refuses to take down the "Chris-chan" page, Sonichu tries to fight him, and loses. Rosechu fares better as [[The Incredible Lioness]], having [[Chris and the law|inflicted wounds that would have killed a normal man]] in fact, but the page remains up, and their mission is ultimately a failure.

==The Fall of 4-cent_garbage: ''Sonichu'' #10==
[[File:Jason's Hexbox.jpg|thumb|Jason plots against Chris with his [[HEXBox]].]]
Upon Chris's return from the Time Void on 9 [[August 2007]], he immediately coordinates an attack on the 4-cent_garbage HQ, ordering Sonichu, Wild, [[Black Sonichu]], [[Punchy Sonichu]], and [[Son-Chu]] to meet him in front of the building. Chris arrives first as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and Jason and [[Beel]] lay a trap for him and try to steal his [[medallions|medallion]]. However, Chris discovers that the TRUE AND HONEST source of his Anchuent powers is his [[high school ring]], which he uses to retrieve the Medallion and free himself.

Later, when Chris's allies arrive, he orders Son-Chu to transform into a sound stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]. Using the [[Gitar of Fail]], Chris then leads the band in a live performance of [[Revive Zordon]], and the intense power of their music begins to shake the building apart. Inside, Jason converts his throne into an escape pod, and flees with Kathleen, leaving the others behind. Jason declares that he is retiring from trolling, in order to settle down with Kathleen and live a normal life. Chris also takes the time to use Jason as a mouthpiece to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for "slandering and torturing and innocent man", [[Chris and hypocrisy|even though that was what Jason was supposedly doing not two issues ago]]. Beel meanwhile decides to take shelter in the basement, explaining that he could not be killed and would simply be reassigned to [[Count Graduon]] once the building was destroyed, and Clyde and Jack, alone on the top floor and with no way out, choose to commit suicide by leaping down the elevator shaft together just as the building collapses, refusing to let themselves be killed by Chris.

[[Twin Falling Towers|The building then gives way and collapses, with 1,500 people still alive inside.]]

[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] reports that of the 1,500 people who were in the building...
*500 were "[[Chris and reality|prefectly [sic] unharmed]]".
*250 were too drunk to escape on their own.
:*125 of these drunk trolls managed to get out alive with help from sober trolls.
:*125 of the drunk trolls were hurt, injured or killed.
*125 sober trolls were hurt, injured or killed.
*250 others were injured.
*150 others were "safe but hurt".
*100 were killed.

[[Honor roll|Note that this only accounts for 1,375 people.]]

Despite having just [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|destroyed a building and killed between 100-350 innocent people]], not to mention the injuries of at least 650 others, Chris then calls for the ambulances himself while he and his team of recolors help to rescue the survivors that they themselves had nearly killed. Afterwards, Chris then [[Chris and remorse|weeps for the victims of his own mass murder]], whilst also maintaining that it was [[Chris and his ego|the trolls' faults they were killed, because they made fun of him on the internet]].

Supposedly, destroying 4-cent_garbage's headquarters disabled its website as well, along with Encylcopedia Dramatica's website, such that both sites' data was irrevocably lost, and neither would ever be restored.

==The 4-cent_garbage building==
4-cent_garbage appears to be a multimedia operation, with a website and a print magazine operated from a brick-and-mortar building in Clarksville, Tennessee. The location of the building is probably intended to refer to where the real Jason lives, or at least where Chris ''thinks'' he lives.

The 4-cent_garbage building is 72 stories tall (66+6, as described by [[Beel]]), and the interior is painted bright red to resemble [[CWCville|Hell]]. On the ground floor, Beel sits at the receptionist desk and directs visitors to an elevator on the far side of the atrium. Employees are seen on several higher floors drinking an alcoholic beverage called "[[Reeb]]", and passing out on the floor when their shift is over. Their work seems to involve sitting at computer terminals, uploading and editing images of Chris and his characters.

On the 72nd floor, Jason Kendrick Howell holds court with his womanslave Kathleen at his side. It is unknown where Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus were stationed in the building, or what their jobs were before the building's destruction.

Security in the building was incredibly lax. [[Wild Sonichu]] turned invisible to sneak into the upper floors in search of a [[Sonichu Ball]], only to find it left on a desk. Once he took the ball, his invisibility wore off, but he was still able to slip back out of the building unnoticed.

===The elevator gags===
[[Image:SchuRchuReactions1.jpg|thumb|Planning? In MY ''Sonichu''? It's less likely than you think.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg|thumb|What is this, I don't even.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|thumb|That's right, the entire White House is on the 51st floor.]]
[[File:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg|thumb|Chris's favorite pictures from ED. Take special note of the [[pedofork|first and last ones]].]]
A large part of "Rage Against the Garbage" features Sonichu and Rosechu exploring different floors in the 4-cent_garbage Building. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at so many different floors to look around at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever is depicted, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no good reason.

This appears to have been one of Chris's attempts to employ some of his trademark [[random-access humor]], by showing wacky stuff on each floor. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not. In some strange attempt at foreshadowing, Chris located these images on ED and then put them on his user page while he was still trying to edit the site.

{{quote|You'll be seeing the following images AGAIN Soon Enough.|Christian Weston Chandler, on the images he put on his ED user page, which would later be used in ''Sonichu'' #8.}}

Whatever his reasons, Chris seemed to believe that using images from ED in one of his comics would somehow be a big deal. The floors used in the comic are listed below, along with a description of what Chris put on each one.

*2nd floor: Chris draws 4-cent_garbage.com employees passed out drunk at their workstations. When one of them recovers from his hangover and gets up, he relieves the only other conscious employee of his shift and takes over. The relieved guard then drinks a can of "[[Alcohol|Reeb]]" and passes out on the floor like the others, while Sonichu and Rosechu look on from the elevator and [[sigh]].
*3rd floor: [[Pedofork|Pedobear]] in a bathtub with the Powerpuff Girls. Sonichu doesn't understand the joke.
*4th floor: Banner reading "I hate SMRS", a reference to "[http://encyclopediadramatica.online/Sonicrocksmysocks Sonicrocksmysocks]", from the ED article of the same name.
*7th floor: A 4-cent_garbage.com employee works on a drawing of Rosechu with a dick. Rosechu angrily leaves the elevator to punch him in the face, shouting "I have a vagina, uterus, and ovaries, you freak!!!"
*8th floor: Sonichu spin dashes a 4-cent_garbage.com employee working on a picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], nude and leading Sonichu by a leash.
*9th floor: Sonichu and Rosechu electrocute an employee as he works on a picture of Sonichu sucking Rosechu's penis.
*10th floor: Chris emerges from the [[Time Void]] to attack an employee working on a picture of Chris using the [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]. Sonichu and Rosechu cheer him on in unison.
*11th floor: Troll parody of artwork by [http://encyclopediadramatica.online/Branca Branca], a batshit insane fan of the animated band {{w|Gorillaz}}. Sonichu considers it to be sad.
*12th floor: Fanart of Knuckles as a gangster, surrounded by sexualized versions of female "Sonic" characters. Sonichu [[naïve]]ly wonders when he became so popular.
*13th floor: Female versions of [[Sonic]], Tails, and Knuckles. Sonichu and Rosechu are dumbfounded.
*14th floor; Pedobear, depicted to resemble Phoenix Wright.
*21st floor: {{w|The Bathers (Cézanne)|''Les Grandes Baigneuses''}} an 1887 painting by {{w|Paul Cézanne}}. ED has a copy of the image which has been edited with captions to reference the "Branca" article on ED.
*22nd floor: ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' Rule 34, from the ED article. Sonichu innocently considers it an impressive dark magic attack.
*23rd floor: An anthropomorphized Charmeleon with her arms handcuffed behind her back spreads her asscheeks, as if for sexual activity. More Rule 34 from ED's ''[[Pokémon]]'' article. Sonichu ignores the sexualized content, and boasts that he could easily defeat the Charmeleon. Well, duh, it's handcuffed.
*24th floor: Hate art of Snapesnogger's hermaphrodite naga character drawn by Zeriara.
*33rd floor: Rule 34 Art from ED's ''[[Transformers]]'' page.
*34th floor: Sonic/Amy Rose Rule 34. Sonichu cheers on his "pal" as they watch him have sex in a position suspiciously similar to the "missionary cowgirl" used by Sonichu earlier in the issue.
*35th floor: Nude artwork of Amy Rose, Rouge the Bat, and Cream the Rabbit [[Pedofork|(who is 6 years old.)]] Sonichu and Rosechu shout "Holy Crap!" in unison.
*36th floor: Strip poker game featuring various female characters from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]''. The image has been adapted into a parody of a ''Magic: The Gathering'' Card.
*51st floor: The entire White House, with John McCain, Sarah Palin, and Hillary Clinton looking on while [[Barack Obama]] paints the walls black. [[George W. Bush]] cheerfully knocks his eventual successor off his ladder. Sonichu and Rosechu offer no discernible reaction. Chris notes that his father [[Bob Chandler]] came up with this "joke." Recall that this story is set in the fall of ''[[2007]]'', so the joke really makes no sense for that year.
*61st floor: Erotic artwork of Dot Warner, from ''Animaniacs''. '''NOTE:''' In the cartoon ''Animaniacs'', [[pedofork|the character Dot Warner is 9 years old]].
*62nd floor: Erotic artwork of Lois Griffin, from ''[[Family Guy]]''.
*63rd floor: Erotic artwork of Marge Simpson, from ''[[The Simpsons]]''.
*64th floor: Rule 34 of Misty and a Starmie, from ''[[Pokémon]]''. Sonichu and Rosechu make out during this and the preceding three floors.
*69th floor: Image of "XBOX 360-ko", an [[anime]]-style character patterned after design elements of the Xbox 360. As the following floor features an Xbox 360 console being destroyed, Chris includes a disclaimer, stating that his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] should not be connected to any lingering resentment of women. This was later changed to a ramble about the purpose of the building and about the trolls in general.
*70th floor: Drawing by Chris of an Xbox 360 console being chopped in half with a meat cleaver. Sonichu and Rosechu applaud the instrument's destruction. The imagery is a clear indication that Chris secretly desires to murder women. This was later changed to a drawing of a sad troll admitting that Chris is right about the previous floor.
*71st floor: [[PS3]] message congratulating whoever murdered the HEXBox. It states that you may "now play your PlayStation 3 or Nintendo Wii in peace", as though the existence of a single Xbox somehow interfered with such activity. This was later changed to an achievement for exposing all the trolls.

Note that it is never addressed whether or not the images such as the Rule 34 depicted here are really just drawings on computers and/or posters in the building, or if they have a physical presence. However, the fact that Sonichu cheers on Sonic as he has sex with Amy Rose suggests that they are really there.

===Business and Staff===
{{quote|I am a troll with no such beliefs, I know that we are born, then we die. I intend to make the most of my pitiful life by tormenting every person within my grasp until they all die from the shame and the distress of their existance ''[sic]''. The page will stay up; this meeting is over!|Jason Kendrick Howell, responding to Sonichu's request to remove the "Chris-chan" page, ''Sonichu'' #8}}

4-cent_garbage does not appear to have any clear marketing objective. While this may seem like an oversight on Chris's part, it may well be a genuine commentary on the pointlessness of 4chan and ED's activities. While most people would consider them to be entertainment sites, with no other purpose than to provide humor or diversion, Chris obviously doesn't find them funny, and so he depicted 4-cent_garbage as a tower of bullies, mass-producing cruelty for its own sake. In the comic, Jason says his only goal in life is to hurt as many people as he can before he dies. While he may have only been speaking for himself, this seems to be the ''raison d'être'' for everyone else who works there.

In ''Sonichu'' #10, Beel explains that "this trolling gig is my hell", suggesting that he has been condemned to work there, possibly because he had once been "main assistant to [[Nazis|Adolf Hitler]]". Unable to die, Beel would simply be damned to serve yet another villain, [[Count Graduon]], once the 4-cent_garbage building was destroyed.

While [[Clyde Cash]] had been previously depicted in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]] as an agent of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], he also appears in ''Sonichu'' #10 supporting 4-cent_garbage. Though confusing in some respects, especially concerning the canonicity of the Sonichu Specials, this dual role may not be a complete contradiction, as the exact relationship between 4-cent_garbage and [[PVCC]] is never explained.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
[[File:A concert that brings the house down-min.jpg|thumb|The episode depicted in a [[TSSSF]] card]]
*[[4chan posts (Bella)]]
*[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Kathleen]]
*[[Beel]]
*[[Clyde Cash]]
*[[Jack Thaddeus]]
*[[The Incredible Lioness]]
*[[Revive Zordon]]
*[[Twin Falling Towers]]
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021]]

== External links ==
*[http://www.4chan.org/ 4chan] - A *chan imageboard and inspiration behind 4-cent_garbage's name.
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.online/ Encyclopedia Dramatica] - An internet satire wiki and inspiration behind 4-cent_garbage's role in the comics. ([https://archive.vn/xsWWD the archived home page of encyclodediadramatica])
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20120920095517/http://789chan.org/cwc/ 789chan.org/cwc/ archive] - A defunct *chan imageboard which sometimes adopted the name 4-cent_garbage in reference to the comics.

{{CWCverse}}

{{DISPLAYTITLE:4-cent_garbage.com}}

[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Fictional places]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]

The Simpsons

2026-10-05T16:46:02Z

WarnerBro:

{{Honest}}
[[File:DorkyExpression.jpg|thumb|Chris rips off Homer's catchphrase.]]

'''''The Simpsons''''' is an animated sitcom debuting in 1989, about an [[Bob Chandler|extremely]] [[Barbara Chandler|dysfunctional]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|family]], their daily life, and their various wacky adventures. Of course, Chris loves it; he's also a fan of similar animated series like ''[[Family Guy]]'' and as of later, ''F is For Family''. It goes without saying that the cutting [[parody|satire]] which has characterized the show goes over Chris's head.

==Appearances==
[[File:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|They would later have their own [[Bob Walks In|family bonding]]...]]
[[File:Homer Simpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, drawn for the [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Everfree Northwest]] fundraiser.]]
[[File:July12Fundraiser1.jpg|thumb|Formerly Chuck's.]]

Chris has [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] or referenced ''The Simpsons'' many times in his life. Specifically:

*In the [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|gallery of failure]] Chris added to his own [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article in March 2008, Chris tried to show some humility by having himself rip off Homer's catchphrase, seen at the top-right.
*Chris video taped himself [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|singing his own version of the Mr. Plow remix]] featured in ''The Simpsons'' 20th anniversary special.
*Chris has a Homer Simpson figurine on the dashboard of [[Son-Chu|his car]].
*Chris laughs like {{w|Nelson Muntz}}, a character of the series renowned for his signature "Ha, ha!" laugh, in the [[Secret Weapon]] video.
*Chris seems to have also lifted the idea of a second Valentine's Day called "[[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|Love Day]]" from the episode "{{w|Trash of the Titans}}." Of course, Chris missed the point that the holiday was an artificial one born out of [[Ego#Materialism|greed and selfishness]] rather than love, and also that the very people who created it thought it sounded stupid when they said the name should be, "like 'Love Day,' only not so lame."
*Many trolls have also noticed [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s similarities to {{w|Lisa Simpson}}, as both have spiky hair and are said to be child prodigies. The difference is that Lisa isn't a bastard child born from an egg, and she has a personality.
*In the [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|Common Questions]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris was called out on blatantly stealing jokes from many other shows. Chris justified himself by saying, "''Like [[Family Guy]], Simpsons, [[Excel Saga]], and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "{{w|Simpsons Already Did It|Simpsons}} [[South Park|Did It]]."''"
*[[Rule 34]] of Marge Simpson can be seen on the 63rd floor of [[4-cent_garbage.com]] headquarters in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].
*In [[Mumble 4]], Chris compared his life to Homer Simpson while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] (and does an impersonation of Homer).
*Chris downloaded ''{{w|The Simpsons Game}}'' on the [[List of Chris's games|PS3]].
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris "created" [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Constable Lou]], who may be connected to [[Wikipedia:List of recurring The Simpsons characters#Lou|Lou]].
*In the [[Chris dispels videogame rumors#cite_ref-0s|Chris dispels videogame rumors]] video, Chris attempted to reference, but ultimately ended up mangling, a joke from {{w|Sideshow Bob}} from the "{{w|Cape Feare}}" episode.
*In the [[Jackie]] saga, Chris decided to [[100 2277|cosplay Homer Simpson wearing Fred Flintstone's shirt]].
*Chris's affinity for [[muscle bra]]s could be attributed to a bit in the episode "{{w|Days of Wine and D'oh'ses}}" in which Homer finds one in a dumpster and comments "All I know is that, finally, I am getting the support I need."
*Chris bought the iPhone game ''The Simpsons: Tapped Out'' and spent an estimated $1,000 on DLC for it by September 2013.<ref>[[Chris's spending on iPhone games]]</ref>
*In 2019, Chris criticized Matt Groening for not allowing his characters to age: ''"They keep watering down the Chronicled Media for the sake of recognition, and THE MONEY. It is a real shame and a crime for them to mischronicle their OCs like that all of this time. I admit, I was no different as well, but I am reconciling, making amends, and taking firmer responsibility over my bunch of OCs and citizens as best as I can with my family, loves, allies and everyone there."''<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts]]</ref>
*In 2020, Chris (while being [[Spirit possession#Sonichu|"possessed" by Sonichu]]) mentioned in a [[Discord Q&A]] that Lisa Simpson was set to be the next [[president]] of the [[United States]] after the [[Dimensional Merge]] has been completed. This likely takes influence from the episode "{{w|Bart to the Future}}", which showcases a future in which President Lisa Simpson's administration succeeds [[Pmurt|Donald Trump's]]. However, the events of "Bart to the Future" are not predictive, despite numerous viral videos promoting such misconception: Donald Trump considered running for the job in 1999, one year before the episode aired, and the first of the six bankruptcies to affect his businesses (which the national debt joke referenced) occurred in 1991.<ref>https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/simpsons-predict-trump</ref>
*In 2021, Chris drew a [[commission]] of Sneed's Feed and Seed (Formerly Chuck's), a sign gag from the episode "{{w|E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)}}" which became a popular meme on [[4chan]]. The run-down depiction of the store is either an interpretation of how it would appear in the modern day or an alternate [[dimension]] version of the location.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> According to [[Null]], Chris privately told him in relation to this drawing that Sneed was dead and that Sneed and Chuck had been [[homo|gay]] [[Chris and sex#Incest|incestuous]] lovers.<ref>https://madattheinternet.com/2021/12/03/loicense-to-sneed/</ref>
*Chris also draw Homer Simpson for a commission request.<ref>[[:File:Homer Simpson.jpg]]</ref>
*In multiple [[jail letters]], Chris describes the Qur'an as being to the Bible what ''Family Guy'' is to ''the Simpsons'' (i.e. an inferior derivative work).

==Marge poster==
[[Image:MargePoster.jpg|thumb|right|Before you ask – yes, this is official art.]]

The centerfold poster of [http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/10/marge-simpson-playboy-photos-revealed/ Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine] became one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a [[homos#Defenses against becoming homo|homo]].

Interestingly enough, there were two potential choices for him to pin on his wall; the first was a more coy picture of Marge undressing (breasts visible but nipples concealed), the shadow of an eager Homer projected onto the rear wall, with Marge making eye contact with her husband.

The second was of Marge wearing a see-through dress, looking directly at the camera and offering donuts to the viewer. Chris, ever classy, picked the one with the [[Plush Breasts|boobs]] more seeable and rejected the one that even had the shadow of a [[JERKS|man]] on it (especially since Marge was looking at Homer, and not [[Chris|the camera]]).

The poster was presumably destroyed in the [[2014 house fire|2014 fire]].

==Lisa Simpson Presidency==
In [[November 2020]], Chris apparently voted for Lisa Simpson in that year's election despite voicing his support for [[Joe Biden]]; [[Chris and reality|he actually believed]] she would become POTUS after the [[Dimensional Merge]] takes place.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 5#Operation of CWCville's Government]]</ref> This belief presumably takes its influence from ''The Simpsons'' episode "Bart to the Future," which is set years in the future after Lisa succeeds [[Donald Trump]]'s (then-fictional) administration.

==Vocal impressions==
In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5|BlueSpike's PSN Chat v3.5]], Chris attempts (very poorly) some impressions of various Simpsons characters (specifically Mr. Burns, Homer, Marge and Maggie). He would do the same in [[Mumble 7]], impersonating Homer and fellow Matt Groening character [[Futurama|Bender]]; in an eerie bit of foreshadowing, Chris's Homer and Bender voices [[BlueSpike|sound exactly the same]], but he doesn't notice.

During his trip to the Downtown Mall with TheGamerFromMars and [[Copitz]], as seen in "[[The Chris Chan Conspiracy#Episode 3: The Golden Age of Chris Chan|The Golden Age of Chris-Chan]]", Chris [[Random-access humor|spontaneously]] launched into an impression of the character Apu, specifically [[Chris and race|copying his stereotypical Indian accent]]... while ''inside an Indian restaurant.'' He was quickly shushed by his embarrassed hosts, though he still wedged in a "Welcome to Kwik-E-Mart!" afterwards.

{{clear}}
{{References}}

==External links==
*''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' at [[Wikipedia]]

{{TV}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons}}
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

The Simpsons

2026-10-05T16:44:47Z

WarnerBro:

{{Honest}}
[[File:DorkyExpression.jpg|thumb|Chris rips off Homer's catchphrase.]]

'''''The Simpsons''''' is an animated sitcom debuting in 1989, about an [[Bob Chandler|extremely]] [[Barbara Chandler|dysfunctional]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|family]], their daily life, and their various wacky adventures. Of course, Chris loves it; he's also a fan of similar animated series like ''[[Family Guy]]'' and as of later, ''F is For Family''. It goes without saying that the cutting [[parody|satire]] which has characterized the show goes over Chris's head.

==Appearances==
[[File:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|They would later have their own [[Bob Walks In|family bonding]]...]]
[[File:Homer Simpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, drawn for the [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Everfree Northwest]] fundraiser.]]
[[File:July12Fundraiser1.jpg|thumb|Formerly Chuck's.]]

Chris has [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] or referenced ''The Simpsons'' many times in his life. Specifically:

*In the [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|gallery of failure]] Chris added to his own [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article in March 2008, Chris tried to show some humility by having himself rip off Homer's catchphrase, seen at the top-right.
*Chris video taped himself [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|singing his own version of the Mr. Plow remix]] featured in ''The Simpsons'' 20th anniversary special.
*Chris has a Homer Simpson figurine on the dashboard of [[Son-Chu|his car]].
*Chris laughs like {{w|Nelson Muntz}}, a character of the series renowned for his signature "Ha, ha!" laugh, in the [[Secret Weapon]] video.
*Chris seems to have also lifted the idea of a second Valentine's Day called "[[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|Love Day]]" from the episode "{{w|Trash of the Titans}}." Of course, Chris missed the point that the holiday was an artificial one born out of [[Ego#Materialism|greed and selfishness]] rather than love, and also that the very people who created it thought it sounded stupid when they said the name should be, "like 'Love Day,' only not so lame."
*Many trolls have also noticed [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s similarities to {{w|Lisa Simpson}}, as both have spiky hair and are said to be child prodigies. The difference is that Lisa isn't a bastard child born from an egg, and she has a personality.
*In the [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|Common Questions]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris was called out on blatantly stealing jokes from many other shows. Chris justified himself by saying, "''Like [[Family Guy]], Simpsons, [[Excel Saga]], and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "{{w|Simpsons Already Did It|Simpsons}} [[South Park|Did It]]."''"
*[[Rule 34]] of Marge Simpson can be seen on the 63rd floor in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].
*In [[Mumble 4]], Chris compared his life to Homer Simpson while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] (and does an impersonation of Homer).
*Chris downloaded ''{{w|The Simpsons Game}}'' on the [[List of Chris's games|PS3]].
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris "created" [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Constable Lou]], who may be connected to [[Wikipedia:List of recurring The Simpsons characters#Lou|Lou]].
*In the [[Chris dispels videogame rumors#cite_ref-0s|Chris dispels videogame rumors]] video, Chris attempted to reference, but ultimately ended up mangling, a joke from {{w|Sideshow Bob}} from the "{{w|Cape Feare}}" episode.
*In the [[Jackie]] saga, Chris decided to [[100 2277|cosplay Homer Simpson wearing Fred Flintstone's shirt]].
*Chris's affinity for [[muscle bra]]s could be attributed to a bit in the episode "{{w|Days of Wine and D'oh'ses}}" in which Homer finds one in a dumpster and comments "All I know is that, finally, I am getting the support I need."
*Chris bought the iPhone game ''The Simpsons: Tapped Out'' and spent an estimated $1,000 on DLC for it by September 2013.<ref>[[Chris's spending on iPhone games]]</ref>
*In 2019, Chris criticized Matt Groening for not allowing his characters to age: ''"They keep watering down the Chronicled Media for the sake of recognition, and THE MONEY. It is a real shame and a crime for them to mischronicle their OCs like that all of this time. I admit, I was no different as well, but I am reconciling, making amends, and taking firmer responsibility over my bunch of OCs and citizens as best as I can with my family, loves, allies and everyone there."''<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts]]</ref>
*In 2020, Chris (while being [[Spirit possession#Sonichu|"possessed" by Sonichu]]) mentioned in a [[Discord Q&A]] that Lisa Simpson was set to be the next [[president]] of the [[United States]] after the [[Dimensional Merge]] has been completed. This likely takes influence from the episode "{{w|Bart to the Future}}", which showcases a future in which President Lisa Simpson's administration succeeds [[Pmurt|Donald Trump's]]. However, the events of "Bart to the Future" are not predictive, despite numerous viral videos promoting such misconception: Donald Trump considered running for the job in 1999, one year before the episode aired, and the first of the six bankruptcies to affect his businesses (which the national debt joke referenced) occurred in 1991.<ref>https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/simpsons-predict-trump</ref>
*In 2021, Chris drew a [[commission]] of Sneed's Feed and Seed (Formerly Chuck's), a sign gag from the episode "{{w|E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)}}" which became a popular meme on [[4chan]]. The run-down depiction of the store is either an interpretation of how it would appear in the modern day or an alternate [[dimension]] version of the location.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> According to [[Null]], Chris privately told him in relation to this drawing that Sneed was dead and that Sneed and Chuck had been [[homo|gay]] [[Chris and sex#Incest|incestuous]] lovers.<ref>https://madattheinternet.com/2021/12/03/loicense-to-sneed/</ref>
*Chris also draw Homer Simpson for a commission request.<ref>[[:File:Homer Simpson.jpg]]</ref>
*In multiple [[jail letters]], Chris describes the Qur'an as being to the Bible what ''Family Guy'' is to ''the Simpsons'' (i.e. an inferior derivative work).

==Marge poster==
[[Image:MargePoster.jpg|thumb|right|Before you ask – yes, this is official art.]]

The centerfold poster of [http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/10/marge-simpson-playboy-photos-revealed/ Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine] became one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a [[homos#Defenses against becoming homo|homo]].

Interestingly enough, there were two potential choices for him to pin on his wall; the first was a more coy picture of Marge undressing (breasts visible but nipples concealed), the shadow of an eager Homer projected onto the rear wall, with Marge making eye contact with her husband.

The second was of Marge wearing a see-through dress, looking directly at the camera and offering donuts to the viewer. Chris, ever classy, picked the one with the [[Plush Breasts|boobs]] more seeable and rejected the one that even had the shadow of a [[JERKS|man]] on it (especially since Marge was looking at Homer, and not [[Chris|the camera]]).

The poster was presumably destroyed in the [[2014 house fire|2014 fire]].

==Lisa Simpson Presidency==
In [[November 2020]], Chris apparently voted for Lisa Simpson in that year's election despite voicing his support for [[Joe Biden]]; [[Chris and reality|he actually believed]] she would become POTUS after the [[Dimensional Merge]] takes place.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 5#Operation of CWCville's Government]]</ref> This belief presumably takes its influence from ''The Simpsons'' episode "Bart to the Future," which is set years in the future after Lisa succeeds [[Donald Trump]]'s (then-fictional) administration.

==Vocal impressions==
In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5|BlueSpike's PSN Chat v3.5]], Chris attempts (very poorly) some impressions of various Simpsons characters (specifically Mr. Burns, Homer, Marge and Maggie). He would do the same in [[Mumble 7]], impersonating Homer and fellow Matt Groening character [[Futurama|Bender]]; in an eerie bit of foreshadowing, Chris's Homer and Bender voices [[BlueSpike|sound exactly the same]], but he doesn't notice.

During his trip to the Downtown Mall with TheGamerFromMars and [[Copitz]], as seen in "[[The Chris Chan Conspiracy#Episode 3: The Golden Age of Chris Chan|The Golden Age of Chris-Chan]]", Chris [[Random-access humor|spontaneously]] launched into an impression of the character Apu, specifically [[Chris and race|copying his stereotypical Indian accent]]... while ''inside an Indian restaurant.'' He was quickly shushed by his embarrassed hosts, though he still wedged in a "Welcome to Kwik-E-Mart!" afterwards.

{{clear}}
{{References}}

==External links==
*''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' at [[Wikipedia]]

{{TV}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons}}
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Chris and art

2026-10-05T16:43:52Z

WarnerBro: /* Color choices and coordination */

{{quote|My art style, I feel, is one that would be typically mistaken as child-like, yet there is an elegance that gives its simplicity an appealing charm. This is a style that needs not be overthought, as it is typically to the point.|[[Chris]], talking about his art<ref>[[January 2020 social media posts]]</ref>}}
[[File:Goddess at work by nightstarrosechu2891 dg6od9g-414w-2x.jpg|thumb|"Goddess At Work" (2022), showing Chris working on comic pages in his work room at [[14 Branchland Court]].]]
[[File:MyMindIsABlank.jpg|thumb|''[[January 2015 Facebook posts#He Hasn't Forgotten Us!|My Mind Is a Blank]]'', January 2015]]

[[File:CWCPeterPaulRubens.png|thumb|How Chris sees his self-portraits.]]

'''Art''' has been, and always will be, Chris's selling point. Chris has been involved with some form of art or another throughout his life. He has taken numerous art and design classes in [[high school]], and he holds a degree in [[CADD|computer-aided drafting and design]]. But despite his extensive education in the visual arts (and relative lack of other discernible skills), his style is quite unique, to say the least.

Ever since the very day [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] found out about Chris's creation of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], many people have taken interest in Chris because of his infamously bad artwork. Ironically, his crude creative abilities are what made him stand out as an artist. ''Sonichu'' wouldn't be ''Sonichu'' without Chris's art. Encouraging Chris to produce more of it remains a popular objective amongst [[troll]]s and [[ween]]s.

==Before we get started with today's critique...==
It can be easy to simply write off Chris as a bad artist without asking why. But of course, visual art is subjective – there are a multitude of reasons ''why'' someone might not like a particular work, and there are bound to be people who will like it. Different styles suit different artists (and viewers), and realism isn't exactly the gold standard of good art. The fact that people [[commissions|commission]] Chris is proof that he isn't objectively a failed artist. After all, he sold more art than Van Gogh ever did in his lifetime.

Chris is no [[Naïve|naive]] artist – he took art classes throughout his schooling. He is most likely familiar with the process of artistic critiques in an academic setting. This article will reflect that process.

Instead of outright praising or bashing Chris's art, this critique will offer constructive criticism. It will examine strong and weak points of Chris's art in an objective, taste-neutral manner. It will examine all media but place special emphasis on his most proficient medium: drawing. The article will also consider the context of Chris's art. Finally, it will consider ways he has improved his craft, aspects that can be improved, and techniques he is outright unwilling to improve.

==Weak points==

===Exercise of skills and improvement in craft===
[[Image:0025-ChristophersMicroMornings.jpg|thumb|left|Not bad for a grade-schooler.]]

Chris does not seem to consider his artistic skill in need of revision; he is always fully satisfied by the first attempt at a drawing he makes. Naturally, being an artist of that caliber, Chris takes it upon himself to criticize the art that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] send to him, and is quick to point out the myriad of "flaws" in each work.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#After Emily]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2]]</ref>

Chris has said he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it.<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In which Chris insults someone who drew a picture for him]]</ref> He does not seem to be aware of the fact that producing the kind of high-quality artwork that fans expect in a good comic strip is very labor-intensive and can easily take hours, sometimes days, even with professional software programs like Photoshop. He also doesn't seem to understand, or care, that any good artist will draw a scene multiple times before they publish it, especially if there are mistakes. In pretty much any episode of ''Sonichu'', you will be sure to find at least one mistake Chris has made that he refuses to redo and simply colors over. One good example is the scene from Chris and Ivy [[Giant Penis Comic|going to a hotel for hanky-panky]].<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg]]</ref> If you look at the scene, you can see multiple mistakes that any artist would have seen as a reason to redo the picture. Chris started to draw his balls (via tracing), but decided he didn't like the proportions that presented, so he decided to keep the start of the trace and just add some "speed lines". If you look at the picture of Ivy you will see that Chris messed up a bit around her face but decided that instead of redoing it, he'd just color over it. He also messed up a bit on her right breast; he drew one too small and decided to make it bigger, by just adding another curved line.

At times, he would expand ''Sonichu'' stories in summary form on [[CWCipedia]], a medium better equipped to keep up with his racing, easily distracted imagination. Everything he says or writes, he considers being a part of his comic's continuity partly because it is easier to record these euphoric and fleeting bouts of inspiration as they occur rather than days, weeks, months, or even years later in comic form.

Chris's art ''has'' improved in recent years: compare the original [[Sonichu 0]] cover to his later covers. The amount in which he has improved, though, is up for debate.

===Choices of materials and technology===
[[File:July14MarkerPhoto.jpg|thumb|Chris's tools.]]

Chris believes that his so-called "hand-drawn style" is superior to art produced by any other means. This is due to Chris's hatred to change what he has already learned and his belief, as a consequence of his [[ego]], that his method is the best by virtue of being his.

Obviously, Chris's skill cannot compensate for the poor materials he uses. He does his work a disservice by using tools that are the cheapest available: copy paper, Pentel RSVP ballpoint pens, and Crayola washable markers.<ref>[[Mumble 7#10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies|Mumble #7]]</ref> These happen to be the tools he has used since childhood.

Far from archival quality, his art has sometimes shown [[Wedding Comic|signs of wrinkling]] as soon as it has been finished. Chris has defended his practice of [[Chris and writing#Dialogue|rampant textwalling]] as a way to "save marker ink."<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

When Chris wants to alter a panel, but does not want to put in the effort to redraw the entire page, his method to fix it is to draw a piece on another page, cut it out, and glue it over the original drawing. This can be seen in revisions to [[Sonichu 15]].

While Chris has claimed at various times to use {{w|Adobe Photoshop}} to create his characters and edit his comics,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation Sonichu's Conception and Creation], archived from [[CWCipedia]].</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800]]</ref><ref>[[Chris's resume#Experience]]</ref> he has only ever been seen using {{w|Adobe PhotoDeluxe}},<ref>The Adobe PhotoDeluxe name can be seen on the taskbar of Chris's computer at 0:13 in [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]].</ref><ref>Chris offered PhotoDeluxe advice to [[The Wallflower]] in [[Wallflower E-mails 2]].</ref> with which he created his [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|slanderous head-swap]] of [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s buddy Matt. This is in spite of the fact that PhotoDeluxe is intended for scanning and touching up photographs, and Photoshop (which Chris claims to own) would be better suited for the kind of general-purpose image editing and head-swapping that Chris does. In addition, PhotoDeluxe is a fossil of a program that hasn't been supported by Adobe since [[2002]]. Chris's claim in [[Mailbag 3]] that he uses "a past version" of Photoshop<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Art questions]]</ref> could imply that he is [[Slow-in-the-minds|confusing PhotoDeluxe for a part of the Photoshop line]], or that, if he really does use Photoshop, the revision he owns is just as woefully out-of-date as his ancient PhotoDeluxe program.

Chris's font of choice for most of the ''Sonichu'' comics was {{w|Comic Sans}}, a font almost universally condemned for being overused, childish, unprofessional, and ugly; serious designers generally only use it as a last resort or for ironic effect, since better handwritten fonts are available for purchase.<ref>[http://bancomicsans.com Ban the Comic Sans]</ref><ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 They will make you taste the curb]</ref> However, starting from [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] onward, he switched to Proxima Nova.

===Drawing techniques===
[[File:CChanDraws.jpg|thumb|Strange pen grips can be corrected with the assistance of school teachers. Chris slept through these lessons.]]
Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen. Give this a try and see how long it takes for you to get carpal tunnel.

In [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] (2009), [[Live Drawing Streams]] (2017), and [[Over the shoulder colouring stream]] (2023), Chris demonstrated his drawing technique on video.

[[File:Chris pen grip 2019.jpg|Wearing gym gloves while drawing.|thumb]]

During 2019, Chris hampered his ability further by wearing his gym gloves while drawing.

{{quote|I don’t want to deal with the constant pencil sharpening and all that trash.|Chris giving one of his reasons for why he uses a pen for line art<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20191108234140/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1001562775209086976</ref>}}

While most artists will produce multiple sketch versions of a single drawing, often layered on top of one another, Chris is so confident in his innate artistic ability that his first step in a page of ''Sonichu'' is drawing the final line art in pen before coloring it in with Crayola markers. If he makes a mistake, he shrugs it off and continues. There is no post-processing beyond adding text to word balloons with MS Paint and PhotoDeluxe. Attempts to inform him that digital coloring is more efficient and far less expensive than wasting gallons of marker ink filling in monocolor backgrounds have failed.
[[File:ChrisChanColoringPenGrip2023.png||thumb]]

===Visual style and most artistic fundamentals===
[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|250px|left|Nice arms you got there, Chris.]]
[[File:SchuComic12-1P106.jpg|thumb|Try and work out what's meant to be happening here.]]
{{Quote|sonichu had kind of a kiddy art style, which i guess was your point. [...] i thought you meant it as an avant-garde thing, to make a statment like, ironically bad|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>}}

Before the comics, Chris attempted realism for work in oil pastel, charcoal, and graphite, presumably for art classes in school. The results can be seen in the gallery below. While he did spend some time in high school taking art classes, most professional artists heavily study artistic fundamentals before venturing off into the territory of stylization. Without knowing how things appear in reality, it is difficult to distort properties to an aesthetically pleasing effect. Chris trusts in his abilities yet lacks proficiency in the most important fundamentals. This overconfidence results in the ''Sonichu'' comics looking like they were drawn by a grade-schooler.

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, full of techniques consistent with early efforts at drawing by small children. Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]] and manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his [[gal-pal]] at the time, [[Megan Schroeder]]. Like many amateur western artists, he copies only the surface elements of the anime style: big eyes, pentagonal heads, speed lines, emotions. These elements were simply laid over his original "style" with no adjustment, and did nothing to improve the quality of his work.

[[File:Michiru and Haruka translated art2.jpg|thumb|This woman has three elbows.]]

Chris has no understanding of classical anatomy, proportion in figure drawing, or even basic form. His characters are drawn using simple shapes – colored-in outlines, without any shading, ''ever'' – and even so, he is unable to keep the shapes consistent to any degree. These shapes rarely have any form at all, leading to characters having a "cardboard cutout" quality to them: head-on body with a slightly turned head. Though he lacks the skills to make even decent simple poses, Chris has the balls to attempt foreshortening on occasion- with disastrous results.
[[File:ChrisDislocatedWrists.png|thumb|right|In his hastiness to draw [[Giant Penis Comic|pornography]] of himself and [[Ivy]], Chris seems to have forgotten that wrists and forearms are incapable of twisting in such a way without causing serious and extremely painful dislocation injuries.]]
[[File:Billy mays hand.png|thumb|left|Something's not right with this picture...]]

Characters have no set proportions: limbs morph, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by the color scheme that we can guess which character is which. For example, in the opening of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|the children]] tend to noticeably get deformed in a different manner in each panel, despite the fact that they're drawn as just an oval for the head, a rectangle for the body, and smaller ovals for the arms and legs. Just to be sure we know who's who (a job that is taken care of by the artwork in any normal comic) Chris sometimes relies on labelling characters with text and arrows. Beyond his [[Heterochromia|differently-colored eyes]] and [[Sonichu medallion]], no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely resembled the actual Chris. The character sizes are also inconsistent, which is strange considering most of the characters appear to be about the same size: in most drawings where Sonichu is carrying Rosechu, Rosechu seems to shrink.

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion.]]

Finer details of human anatomy have long escaped him; because Chris never draws women with pronounced hips, the results tend to resemble children or men (such as with the character [[Lovely Weather]]), with unfortunate implications in either case. Chris also doesn't seem to realize that drawing techniques that work in other media might not work in cartoons. For example, he sometimes draws himself with almond-shaped eyes. While no real person's eyelids are perfectly circular like a cartoon character, cartoonists generally reserve non-circular eyes for Asian characters.

[[Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|thumb|This car will either always veer left or never run at all.]]

Despite boasting that his "drawings of perspective viewpoints are surpassive [sic]"<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> due to his training in [[CADD]], Chris constantly fails at perspective, with objects implied to be far-away depicted too large. This is evident in his many [[Son-Chu|vehicle designs]], where the front is usually a direct frontal (90 degree) view, regardless of the view angle of other sides. This inability to demonstrate parallel lines renders the car distorted. The lack of any concept of shading only further destroys any semblance of perspective; legs that are implied to be bent forward at the knee only end up looking shorter.

Possibly the worst offender is Chris's constant omission of backgrounds. Most scenes happen only on the white backdrop of the paper. Readers are apparently supposed to infer what the background looks like based on context, similar to some daily newspaper comic strips. Thus, simply drawing a wide-angle shot of the scenery as the first (usually transitional) panel in a scene would suffice. Combined with his inability to make a proper layout, many action scenes end up becoming a jumble of characters moving around without regards to sequence. The reason he does this is probably the same as the reason why he textwalls so often: to "save marker ink," meaning he's lazy. (Incidentally, the proper use of white space and the conservation of painted space is a key element in East Asian art, but despite his anime obsession he is unlikely to have heard of this).

A related phenomenon is simply drawing characters as floating disembodied heads. The [[Magi-chan|deus ex machina/exposition machine]] is the biggest victim of this. Once again, Chris couldn't bother to draw a full body. Thus, combining all known forms of "marker ink conservation", some pages are just a bunch of literal talking heads speaking walls of text.

Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples, including images of couples in bed making love. Whether Chris bought it to better draw out his delusional fantasies or for more material to [[mass debate]] to isn't known, but either way, the book taught him nothing.

=== Character design ===
{{Protip|Keep in mind that Chris dislikes it when people redesign his characters.}}
See also: [[Chris and writing#Characterization|Written characterization]]

A large portion of the ''Sonichu'' cast is clearly derivative of existing characters. In addition to the obvious ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' recolors, Chris has lifted designs from any anime, video game, or even Western animation he is fond of, with no regard for visual consistency.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing, and Chris himself wears his usual [[clown shirt]]s and pants. With the sole exception of [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes.

Even when the source of Chris's plagiarism is readily apparent, these lifts can still add up to less than the sum of their parts. Inspired by the fusion characters of ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[God of War]]'', [[Collosal Chan]] looks more like a hobo than a fusion of Chris and Chris-Chan Sonichu. Though clearly, his own effort to design baby [[Pokémon]], [[Sonee and Rosey]] look more unnerving than adorable.

===Fan (dis)service===
[[File:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Insta-boner.]]
{{quote|I am not a gorey artist; just accept the Fan Service of panty-shots and get over yourselves.|<ref>[[Mailbag 45#Chris' hormones + Rosechu's ass = Fan service]]</ref>}}
{{w|Fan service}} is a term used to describe something that is meant to tease or please the audience. It can refer to any content seen as an effort to appease the desires of fans, but for the sake of this section, it's used primarily to describe scenes of a sexually titillating nature.

Since his discovery by the Internet, Chris has inserted increasingly large amounts of fan service into the initially tame ''Sonichu'' in an effort to assert the heterosexuality of himself and his characters. The range of fan service in ''Sonichu'' includes panty shots, Rosechu's [[women's rights|stripping]], cameltoe indentations, and even a full [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|sex scene]] followed by four pages of text and diagrams describing Sonichu and Rosechu's sexual anatomy.

[[File:Battery-Charge Heart intro.jpg|thumb|left|150px|He made sure to draw [[Battery-Charge Heart]]'s skirt so short, we can see the carpet matches the drapes.]]
Due to his lack of artistic faculties, much of Chris's depictions of sexuality are highly unsettling to most readers. Any attempts to add "sexy" material come across as Chris's own wish-fulfillment or self-interest, rather than attempts by Chris to please his audience.

While the point of fan service is to hint at sexuality in an otherwise clean work meant for general audiences, ''Sonichu'''s sexual content hides nothing and disturbs many, despite the fact that Chris has always viewed ''Sonichu'' as a comic intended for children. Chris tried to justify putting panty shots in a children's comic by saying... {{quote|Children will likely be seeing the same things in real life, so mellow out and let them learn a bit, and further educate the children with discussions.|Children will be seeing furry porn in real life.<ref>[[Mailbag_47#Children_will_be_seeing_furry_porn_in_real_life]]</ref>}}

==Strong points==
Chris is far from the worst artist ever; there are several strong points to his work that set him apart from other poor artists.
===Color choices and coordination===
Chris does get color coordination. Most of the color schemes he uses in his work look decent. Being Chris, he still fails occasionally, such as with the [[CWCipedia]] color scheme. Still, color is one of his few strong points, at least compared to the rest of his art style. As evidenced by most of his websites, custom console skins, and a good chunk of his character designs, Chris's favorite colors appear to be yellow and blue. That color combination is hard to get wrong, which is why so many cartoon characters (from [[the Simpsons]] to SpongeBob) have yellow skin. Chris also appears to be fond of the [[United States of America|red, white, and blue]] compliment, judging by his [[The Classic|trademark polo shirt]].

Despite excelling in this fundamental field, Chris does struggle with coloring [[rainbow]]s in the correct order of ROYGBIV.

===Dexterity===
Despite his awkward pen grip, Chris seems to have a mostly steady hand. His penmanship is neat and legible, and most of his mistakes stem from writing the wrong letter and scribbling/doctoring it into the right one, instead of any kind of actual handwriting disorder. His most recent driver's license signature appears to be quite flourished and feminine. Many artists with unorthodox hand techniques claim their grips can actually give them more control over the pen, and even trained calligraphers don't always stick to the standard grip that most are taught in kindergarten.

Chris never seemed to struggle in the dexterity department – he can write and draw more neatly than folks with poor {{w|fine motor skills}}. He doesn't have an issue with other activities requiring dexterity, such as typing or playing [[video games]]. The [[autism papers]] don't even mention poor fine motor coordination, which is relatively common (but not universal) among autistics. Even [[autism|our own article on Chris's diagnosis]] doesn't touch his dexterity, only his {{w|gross motor skills}}. '''For once, Chris's autism isn't the culprit!'''

If Chris actually took his time and learned patience, his line work could be phenomenal.

===Reach===
''See also: [[Warhol / Chris Chan]]''

Chris has undoubtedly become a pop culture phenomenon, while many other artists who spent decades refining their craft can go their entire lives without selling many paintings – or any at all. ''Looking at [[medallions]] alone,'' Chris has sold more works than Frida Kahlo even ''produced'' in her lifetime. Chris's works have been referenced in master theses, published essays, and other academic media countless times. Judging by artists like Van Gogh or Warhol, GodBear knows if Chris's works will end up in a museum some time after his [[Chris and death|passing]]. The fact that people are compelled to look at Chris's work at all speaks volumes.

===Is art even ''Sonichu's'' main failing?===
{{main|Chris and writing}}

Complex drawing is not mandatory for making a good comic. Chris's art style is arguably more complex than the style Charles Schulz used for ''Peanuts''. ''{{w|Diary of a Wimpy Kid}}'' and ''{{w|xkcd}}'' get the job done with simple stick figures. Some artistically challenged cartoonists will even ditch the pen for a nice camera to create a {{w|photo comic}}. These genres might not carry museum-quality art, but the cartoonists generally make up for it with clever writing.

However, ''Sonichu'' doesn't even have that to fall back on. Chris does no preparatory writing or preliminary revision; his narrative is wholly improvised and shifts regularly. He cannot write clear, succinct dialogue, and he has little regard for visual clarity.

He doesn't understand how graphic novels are supposed to work as a narrative through sequential images, and instead presents the series more like a storyboard for a hypothetical television series. As a whole, the series has excessive dialogue, something better suited for a novel or television script. It often uses literal phrases (e.g., "cuts grass") as a substitute for visual action and/or comic onomatopoeia. Chris divides each volume of ''Sonichu'' into "episodes", a concept popular in TV land, but unheard of in the comic book industry. Perhaps Chris isn't interested in art or comics – he's just interested in ''Sonichu''.

==Other peculiarities==
==="Me" arrow===
[[File:Me arrow.jpeg|thumb|left|An example of the "me" arrow]]
In some artwork from the latter 2010s, Chris put a small "Me" sign, often with an arrow, next to the character (or characters) meant to represent him. It is unclear why Chris does this, although the usage correlates with him exploring the concept of alternate realities as a [[coping]] mechanism.
{{clear}}
<center><gallery>
File:NightStarBorb.png
File:Ring Comic for The Captain (compressed from original).png
File:CWC drawing for Joshua Moon.jpg
File:Chris Sonichu CPU.jpeg
File:RuleBreaker1.jpg
File:30 09 18 Twitter post.jpeg
File:SchuBlockedbyBroniesdraftP1.jpg
File:Chris Chan Sonichu in TF2 Analysis.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Chris and digital art==
Much like his opinions on [[Chris and drugs#Alcohol|alcohol]], [[SLGBTQ|LGBT+ folks]], [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|butt play]], and the holy [[HEXBox]], Chris's thoughts on digital art have evolved from outright bashing to a much more open outlook.

===During the classic era===
In the early 2000s, Chris was somewhat open to the digital arts. He created [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in a high school computer graphics class, and he would brag and boast about his [[CADD]] major. Things changed soon after.

Chris would often state that using new technology creatively provides an unfair advantage in the service of inferior results. Repeatedly, he has called ''[[Asperchu]]'' "blocky and low resolution" because it was drawn with a tablet, this is most likely because Chris thinks that doing digital art instead of the traditional way makes results comparable to poor MS Paint drawings that are more familiar with him. In one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|phone calls to Alec Benson Leary]], Chris said his hand-drawn art had "more character" (never mind that tablet art is technically hand-drawn art anyway).

===A change of heart: Chris gets an iPad===
[[File:Sonichuipaddrawing2020.jpg|thumb|200px|[[CWC-isms#hand-drawing|A blocky and low-resolution]][[Spirit possession| self portrait]]: Chris's foray into iPad art.]]
Chris began opening up to digital media in the 2010s. In [[May 2020]], during his phase of [[role-play]]ing as [[Sonichu]], Chris used his [[COVID-19]] Economic Impact Payment check on an iPad, software, and accessories for drawing digital art. He successfully made a drawing of Sonichu, though was annoyed by the interface during the process.<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Chris gets an iPad]]</ref>
[[File:Digital drawing commissions drawing 8 December 2025.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Example promoting Chris's digital commissions]]
On 14 [[July 2021]], Chris tagged the Crayola company in a Twitter thread, complaining about inconsistencies between similar- and same-colored markers.

A Twitter user then asked Chris if he would switch to digital art, stating "it might be better for you in the long run". Instead of defending his marker-on-paper style like usual, he responded favorably:

{{quote|Eventually, likely so. I have been so very busy to totally find my niche with a tablet and stylus pen setup. Sonichu gave my body a conscious start on the setup with the iPad, but that’s a major Gonna need more free time to practice with it. I haven’t found the right timing yet|Chris<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Digital art]]</ref>}}

Notably, Chris admitted that digital art takes effort, and he seems willing to make the switch in the future after some practice.

[[File:Digital drawing commission - Magi-Chan's cool bro 14 December 2025.jpeg|thumb]]
In [[December 2025]], Chris began offering digitally-drawn commissions for sale (alongside physical drawings).<ref>[[December 2025 social media posts#Announcing digital commissions]]</ref>

===AI Art===
{{Main|Chris and Artificial Intelligence}}

==Chris's other artistic media==

Drawing may be Chris's medium of choice, but he's dabbled in others.

===3D Media===
[[File:Med_59_A.png|thumb|150px|One of the replica medals]]
Chris has produced a line of Sonichu [[medallions]], made out of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]]. In [[September 2014]], Chris started selling replicas of his handcrafted medals, produced to various qualities.

He has made [[Sonichu Amiibo]] by Frankensteining multiple Amiibos together and crudely painting them.

Another 3D piece is his [[Sonic Totem]] from middle school, which sold on [[eBay]] for $1500 USD.

===3D printing===
{{main|3D printing}}

Chris has long held an interest in using 3D-printing technology, although the most he has done with it is plagiarize files for printing, then hand-paint them.

===Photography and Videography===
{{Main|Chris and cinematography}}

Video media has been some of Chris's most frequently produced content. The lacking production quality is frequently compensated for by Chris's emotional theatrics.

===Animation===
Chris at one point tried taking up a new medium in the form of animation. Using the Nintendo DSi program ''[[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]]'', Chris took his drawing to a whole new level...or least, he could have. His drawing degraded greatly when doing artwork here, mostly due to using the DS's stylus pen. When doing animations, his characters have very little fluid movement to them and they seem to [[jerk]] and wobble, as if they're characters from ''[[CWCFlyingElephants|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'' or ''[[Adult Swim|Home Movies]]''. The best one to tell of this is the [[Don'tGetTrolled!]] animation; you can tell which part was animated by Chris and which part was animated by the original author, 8-Bit, because Chris's artwork just wobbles in a distorted fashion.

===Music===
{{Main|Chris and music}}

Chris is a passionate musician who has self-released three albums, all of which feature him tone-deafly singing derivatives songs on top of famous music.

===Sewing===
[[File:Cwc_sewing3.jpeg|thumb|150px|Chris the seamstress.]]

Chris "restored" [[The Classic|his classic striped shirt]] himself before attempting to sell it. As said shirt spent three years in a water-filled trash bag and was damaged beyond repairability, it didn't work out that well.

===Spray-painting===
{{Main|Shoe Colouring}}

On 3 August 2018, Chris tackled shoe customization and spent an hour spray-painting a pair of Adidas in Sonichu colors.

===Costume Design===
{{Main|Chris and cosplaying}}
Continuing his trend of using the cheapest materials possible while incorporating only the vaguest of likenesses, Chris's foray in cosplay is par for the course with his hand-drawings. They're poorly made, not thought out, and Chris likely believes they're professional quality.

==Originality and plagiarism==
{{Main|Things Chris has ripped off}}
{{see also|Chris and copyright|Parody}}

When it comes to originality, Chris has absolutely none.

''Sonichu'' is a fine blend of Chris's personal life and a wide variety of recognizable copyrighted elements. Just about any existing medium that Chris has ever expressed a fondness for appears in some capacity.

Chris has a long history of claiming all credit for fan characters initially acknowledged as being created by others and offered for use in Chris's comics. The first of these were [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]], and [[Layla]], but the most infamous instance, and the one that Chris defended the most fervently, was [[Simonla Rosechu]].

At the same time, Chris once had a policy of threatening nonexistent legal action against the creators of any ''Sonichu'' fan art he could find, and was worked into a [[12 January 2010|magnificent rage]] over the ''Sonichu''-derivative fan [[parody]] ''Asperchu''.

As well, Chris has gone so far as to take a video, the aforementioned [[Don'tGetTrolled!]], and alter it to suit his needs. Now, granted, there were other videos done using that same video, but where they just altered the stick character or sped up the video in the same vein as a [[Random-access humor|YouTube Poop]], Chris completely and utterly altered the video to suit his needs so that a humorous song about [[trolling]] is turned into Chris's mouthpiece to destroy Freedom of Speech to make the Internet safer for him.

==Art gallery==
===School art===
Seen below is a selection of Chris's public school art assignments, from a slideshow on Chris's homemade [[DVD]]. At his high school graduation, Chris expected to be "Highly Recognized" for his "ARTISTIC TALENT", represented in this body of work. When he was not, he cried.<ref>[[Manchester High School#Graduation]]</ref> This work was produced under the supervision of a professional art instructor and the incentive for Chris to give each piece more thought, care and attention than he now prefers to when creating only for his own satisfaction. Despite this, they're still terrible. Note that some readers may find several of these images inadvertently terrifying.

{{collapsible
|Gallery
|<gallery>
Image:441-CubScoutShield.JPG|Defending the honor of [[Chris and health|junk food everywhere!]]
Image:442-HedgehogShark1.JPG|Sculpted in such a way that it looks like a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|toilet]] at first blush.
Image:443-HedgehogShark2.JPG|
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|Fox McCloud, one month after crash-landing in the middle of Africa.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|This thing deserves [[Sonic Totem|its own page]] by now.
Image:446-CWCWeave.JPG|The teacher quickly thought up something to keep Chris occupied for the rest of the lesson.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Coming soon from Franklin Mint...
Image:448-CWCWigwam.JPG|Ancient relic of the [[Cherokian Clan]].
Image:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG|It doesn't catch dreams. It ''stares into your soul''.
Image:450-HedgehogFish1.JPG|Sad to say, it was originally Chris who came up with the "Long fish is loooooo
Image:451-HedgehogFish2.JPG|oooooooooooong" meme.
Image:452-CWCsBunchOfArt.jpg|Scan of a print of a photograph of drawings. How very meta!
Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|[[Autism]] is in Living Room. Autism is in Wife. Autism is in Children and - well - Autism is in Life.
Image:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|A rare shot of Chris's largely forgotten Pokémons, Espanolic and Vegaton.
Image:459-CWCsBanjo.JPG|Banjo, the champion of Christianity and bright colors.
Image:460-CWCsComputerGraphicsPoster.JPG|In the first lesson, the computer graphics teachers usually say something like "Don't go crazy with the effects, m'kay?" Chris never listens.
Image:463-SonicAndTailsBunch.jpg|A Magic Eye picture that reveals absolutely nothing. We tried.
Image:464-CWCSpeckle.jpg|The teacher who traumatized Chris wasn't actually the principal - it was the art teacher, who forced Chris to make a drawing with prickly-wicklies.
Image:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|Chris's masterpiece of originality, second only to the creation of Sonichu<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>: an ash tray that shoots tobacco straight to the Sun - powered by dark magic.
Image:466-CWCNecklace.jpg|Some [[Cherokian Clan|Ancient Cherokian]] [[Sex toys|anal beads]].
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|It's... off-center.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Sonic [[Yawning Squirtle|unfocuses]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's shield was eaten.
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Following in Ed Gein's footsteps.
Image:472-CWCWingCapDish.JPG|We don't know ''what'' this is, but it has the letter C, so it's obviously Chris's.
Image:473-YarnPot.JPG
Image:474-SquarePot.JPG
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|A relaxing person who bears little resemblance to Chris.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|The same. Hilariously enough, [http://www.miketyndall.com/todd_goldman/ Todd Goldman] ripped off the "[[White knight#Chris will reject your advice|I just don't listen]]" things on the background. Everything is interconnected! [[Soul Calibur|Tracing and ignorance, fiercely entangled!]]
Image:477-PastelDuoPic.JPG
Image:478-PastelHorses.JPG|[[My Little Pony|Proto-Cheroki-Chan.]]
Image:479-PastelSunset.JPG|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|A big golden turd.]]
Image:482-SwirlingEspanolics.JPG
Image:483-RainbowLeaf.JPG|OH, GOD! What does this ''mean''?
Image:484-MergingPeople.JPG|Art class pictures usually have some sort of central idea the teacher gave to the students. Chris is [[Autism|unable to communicate it to us.]]
Image:485-CWCsF.JPG|It's a passable drawing, so it's possible Chris didn't fail the class. But if it is a drawing of failure, did he also create his first time paradox here?
Image:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG|Chris approaches a wild Pikachu, aiming to bash its brains out with a rare pygmy Electrode.
Image:487-CWCMergedinArt.jpg|A clever idea. Probably his teacher's, though.
Image:488-100_0521.JPG|Something that looks like the shopping mall, but actually isn't.
Image:489-100_0522.JPG|"I wish I were in [[Inos|Jamacia]]" (sic). Deep-rooted wishes, I see.
Image:490-100_0523.JPG|Colorful arboreal antics.
Image:491-100 0524.JPG|Possibly "L" and "O". Could be a corruption of LOL.
Image:492-100 0525.JPG|Raichu, the Turbo Megazord, Sonic, Game Boy and Nintendo 64 controller.
Image:493-100 0526.JPG|See, he ''can'' draw a proportional drinking straw. [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] was ''deliberate''.
Image:494-100 0527.JPG|Indistinct shapes, possibly [[Crass and Champ|crabs]].
Image:495-100 0528.JPG|A collage of weird local imagery.
Image:496-100 0529.JPG|Daffodils, which, in Greek mythology, first came forth as a result of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. Also: Skeleton.
Image:497-100 0530.JPG|[[Christian's name change|The Bear]] keeps on truckin'.
Image:498-100 0531.JPG|[[fapcup|Jars]]. A proudly standing bottle and a tomato, casting nice round shadows.
Image:499-100 0532.JPG|Mysterious floating keyring.
Image:500-100 0533.JPG|Not sure what ''this'' is, but it looks a bit phallic.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|Chris's Ash Ketchum get-up.
Image:503-100 0537.JPG|Pikachu, Mew, what looks like Chris's personal Pokégear stuff, and an ad for [[CWC's Pokésite 2]].
Image:504-100 0538.JPG|[[April 16 Fetish Vids|Shower]]???
Image:505-100 0539.JPG|A drawer full of what appears to be [[CWCFlyingElephants|socks]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
Image:506-100 0540.JPG|[[R.L. Stine]] books and Pokémon.
</gallery>}}

===Tracing===
'''Tracing''' is an art technique where another piece of art, in whole or part, is copied along with its outlines. As a means of producing original art claimed as one's own, tracing is a form of plagiarism.

Images traced from existing copyrighted content appear regularly in ''Sonichu''. Chris traces with the Reflecta Sketch, a long-discontinued toy tracing kit produced by Spin Master. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline. This is why most traced images in ''Sonichu'' are mirror images of the original work. Due to their poor quality, consistent in appearance with ''Sonichu'' art that is not traced, these traced images often go unnoticed as tracing. The fact that Chris fails even at tracing is a surprise to no one.

Alternatively, Chris uses these images as references and simply tries to draw images free-hand based on them. This is no worse than directly tracing the outlines, but better explains why his results are so distorted in respect to their references. Chris probably uses a combination of both techniques (as some images look closer to their originals than others), showing an utter lack of skill and originality either way.

The coveted art award at his high school [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|graduation]] would have lost a crap ton of prestige had it been awarded to a cheater like Chris.

{{collapsible
|Traced images from the ''Sonichu'' Comic
|<gallery>
Image:Trace1.jpg
Image:Trace2.jpg
Image:Trace3.jpg
Image:Trace4.jpg
Image:Trace5.jpg
Image:Trace6.jpg
Image:Aquateenvssonichu.jpg
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg
Image:RClina.jpg
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg
Image:Bumble-Lumba-Bumblebee.jpg
Image:Prowl prower.jpg
Image:SOUNDAXE.JPG
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg
Image:Familyguytrace.png
Image:Cwct1.JPG
</gallery>}}

===Rule 34===
{{Honest}}
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|Chris's creations believe that his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]
Chris has no shame, and neither does his artwork. Of his many [[Chris and pornography#Art|sexually explicit drawings]], the most damning one of all is [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]].

[[File:TingsArt1.png|thumb|left|Some sexually provacative art from [[Tings Tingz]] that Chris had actually approved of.]]

As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Cunt", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, making it appear to glow, or inhabit heavenly clouds.

It can be reasonably assumed that all of the images in this gallery are traced, and that those not paired plagiarized source material simply have yet to have their "inspirations" discovered.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of traced Rule 34 pictures. Incredibly horrific, NSFW, and contains robo-clits. This is your last chance to escape with your sanity.
|<gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery>}}

===Tomgirl art===
Drawings Chris made since 2011. Some are NSFW.

{{collapsible
|Gallery
|<gallery>
File:MyMindIsABlank.jpg|''My Mind Is a Blank'', January 2015.
File:Pink Lemonade.jpg|''Pink Lemonade'', July 2015.
File:26 June 2016 Cole Smithey drawing.jpeg|Caricature of [[Cole Smithey]] burning his money, June 2016.
File:SLGBTQ Sonichu poster.jpeg|Chris's LGBT poster for the Sonichu series, May 2017. The S stands for straight.
File:Sonichu-Planet Dolan.jpeg|Crossover fanart of Sonichu and Planet Dolan, May 2017.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg |''Miss Night Star'', June 2017, Chris's self-insert imagined as a [[MLP]] character. Note the redrawn Sonichu #0 cover.
File:Night Star crossover MLP.jpeg ‎|Crossover with MLP characters, June 2017.
File:Flat-chested women April 2018.jpg|Flat-chested women, April 2018.
File:Pride Month drawing June 2018.jpg|For Pride Month, June 2018.
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|Art for [[Catherine]], 2014
|<gallery>
File:TrollTragedy.jpeg
File:TrollTragedydetailA.jpeg|Zoomed in
File:TrollTragedydetailB.jpeg|Another zoom
File:ZappinBoobs.jpeg
File:CandC.jpeg
</gallery>}}

===Paid art===
Drawings from Chris's [[eBay]] and [[Etsy]] sales.
{{main|Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing}}
{{main|Commissions}}

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}

Red Skelton

2026-10-05T15:03:36Z

WarnerBro:

{{quote|I've also learned from Red Skelton of how to be a gentleman.|Chris, in a post on [[Sonichu Girls#Introduction|Sonichu Girls]]}}

[[Image:RedSkelton_112809.jpg|thumb|Luckily, he never lived to find out about his biggest fan.]]
'''Richard Bernard "Red" Skelton''' (18 July 1913 – 17 September [[1997]]) was a popular [[American]] TV and movie comic of the mid-20th century. Originally a circus clown and vaudeville comedian, he parlayed his talents as a funnyman into a successful screen career spanning almost five decades, while also pursuing a separate career as a [[Chris and art|painter]].

In keeping with his often anachronistic taste in entertainment, [[Chris]] is an avowed fan of Skelton's comedy. (Coincidentally, Skelton's first TV show hit the airwaves in [[1950s|1951]], the same year as ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', another Chandler family favorite.) He often claims to have used Skelton as a role model as far as learning how to effectively interact in social situations.

Exactly what he's learned from Skelton, though, is something of a mystery. On the [[Sonichu Girls]] forum, he talked about learning "how to be a gentleman", but didn't go into detail about what gentlemanly traits he picked up from Red. Likewise, on his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]], he claims to have developed "a positive social behavior similar to Red Skelton" during [[high school]], but doesn't offer any more details than that.

Some of Chris's comments from an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] in [[December 2008]] go into a bit more depth. There, Chris explains that Skelton taught him "how to be a more hospitable gentleman for one thing…how to speak with a softer tone of voice in pleasant conversation, and some fun jokes as well".

He also butchered a Skelton routine in [[Some Favored Comedians]].

Whatever Chris learned from Skelton about how to relate to other people, in any event, it manifestly hasn't done him any good.

Skelton is apparently a regular attraction in the restaurant at [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo]], despite having died in [[1997]].
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Skelton, Red}}
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People from Indiana]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:Greatest Generation]]

Ignatius J. Reilly

2026-10-05T13:58:33Z

WarnerBro:

{{Troll}}
{{Infobox Person
|image = Ignatius.jpg
|name = Ignatius J. Reilly
|aliases = Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD. 
QueerSonichuLuvr 
queersonichulvr
|gender = {{gender|gender = male}}
|occupation= Professor of Gay and Lesbian Studies 
Internet Troll
|saga = {{saga|clyde|cn}}, {{saga|cwcipedia|cn}}
}}

{{quote|Chris, you have given me and so many homosexuals the courage to come out of the closet.|Ignatius thanking Chris for helping him come out of the closet.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>}}

'''Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD''', known online as '''QueerSonichuLuvr''', is a professor of Gay and Lesbian studies from the University of New Orleans, and the acclaimed author of the research paper "''HETEROSEXUAL HOMOEROTICISM IN INTERNET SUBCULTURES: A CASE STUDY''", which studies how Chris's Sonichu comics have the tremendous effect of bringing queer people of all walks out of the closet. He made this discovery after reading the comics himself, being moved by its homoerotic elements.

From this, Ignatius created the short-lived [[Gay 4 Sonichu]] forum, where [[Homos|Gay, Lesbian]], [[Bisexual|Bi]], and [[Hermaphrodite|Trans]] Sonichu fans alike can gather and talk about their favorite comic.

==The Paper==

Ignatius' paper was posted onto the CWCki on 13 August 2009.<ref>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Champthom/Paper&oldid=37365</ref> In the paper, Ignatius theorizes that the reason for Chris's desire for a sweetheart comes from him being pressured to follow societal norms.

{{quoteboxbrown|<center>
'''HETEROSEXUAL HOMOEROTICISM IN INTERNET SUBCULTURES:''' 
'''A CASE STUDY'''

by 
Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD. 
[[Wikipedia:University of New Orleans|University of New Orleans]] 
Department of Gay and Lesbian Studies 
</center>

<big>Abstract</big> 
----
The advent of the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] and the emergence of Internet subcultures has tremendously opened heterosexual people up to each other; for example, to discuss issues such as sexual orientation used to be somewhat taboo in mainstream society, until the internet opened an avenue for totally open homosexual expression. In this paper, the author looks at one remarkable case of a sexually confused young man, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], author of the popular [[Sonichu (comic)|"Sonichu" comics]] who manages to place homoerotic themes throughout his seemingly heterosexual comic. In this effect, he manages to create a comic that manages to capture the essence of the homoerotic urges a homosexual man must repress in modern Western culture and proves to be an inspiring work for the GLBT audience.

<big>Paper</big> 
----
Focusing upon the author Christian Weston Chandler. Due to the fact that as a young child he was often left with a [[Abusive babysitter|baby-sitter]] as his parents went out, we can assume he never went through the [[Affair with Mother|Oedipus complex]], due to the frequent absence of his father figure, [[Robert Chandler]] Junior. As stated in [[Wikipedia:Sigmund Freud|Sigmund Freud]]'s Psychoanalytical theory this is the time where a son is supposed to gain an attraction for his mother but hates his father due to knowledge that he is more powerful. The child is supposed to then identify with his father and his role as a male and thus seek another woman. Chris [[Love Quest|exhibit's a desire for a girlfriend ]]but he still seems to show a desire for his mother sharing several times cuddling together but only while Bob is away which would lead to that he is still in the complex.

A very likely explanation for Chris's desire for a female stems from denial or possibly trying to conform to society despite the emotional strains he puts upon himself as a sacrifice to show himself as a heterosexual. However Chris seems to project his gay desires into the characters of his Sonichu Comic; a very common occurrence for people in a situation like his.

As mentioned before Chris is in the Phallic stage of the psychosexual stages quite a lot of his comic contains a lot of Phallic imagery, a notable example being the [[Target]] cup with the straw in [[Sonichu 8]].
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|150px|]]

A full discussion of the "Sonichu" phenomenon cannot exclusively fixate on Chris, however. The reaction of the GLBT community, and GLBT-friendly heterosexuals, in accordance with postmodern concepts of the "[[Wikipedia:Death of the Author|Death of the Author]]", has brought about a collective interpretation of the work by the fan community which brings clarity and a coherent social message in sharp contrast to the personal confusion evident on the part of the author.

For example, the popularity of the comparatively new [[Silvana]] character is drastically at odds with the apparent intent of the character. Chandler clearly intends hir to fill a Wounded Antagonist archetype, hir formative years in isolation in the presence of the phallic [[Count Graduon]] having turned hir into a [[hermaphrodite]], which in Chandler's construction of homosocial ethics renders her incapable of personal psychosexual satisfaction and long-term life fulfilment. The fan community's embrace of hir, however, interprets hir not as a distorted or mutilated individual doing evil through abuse, but a bold genderqueer figure whose renegade activities reflect hir willingness to confront heteronormative social norms. The cross-dressing activities of the Team Rocket character James in "[[Pokemon]]", a source text for the postmodern collage of Sonichu, provides some precedent for this, but in Silvana it reaches a peak.

As a metamorph, Silvana has transcended and overcome all social expectations and boundaries with regards to gender and sexual roles, and this is embraced by the fanbase, most notably by the "Silvana team" who are a controversial and prominent element within the Sonichu fanbase at anime and furry conventions. A group of people, each costumed as Silvana, makes themselves sexually available to Sonichu fans who wish to lose their virginity, a process regarded almost as an initiatory within the hardcore Sonichu fanbase. However, a fan who takes them up on their offer never knows whether they will end up sleeping with a man, woman, or transperson, whether their partner will take the active or passive role, whether their partner will penetrate or offer themselves up for penetration. The experience is reputed to be extremely cathartic, almost religious in nature. Many Sonichu fans, having had their "Silvana moment", have either come out as gay or bisexual, or feel more comfortable in their heterosexuality as a result.

"Even if your Silvana moment isn't with someone of your preferred gender, they find ways to make it work," said R.W., a Sonichu fan interviewed at Anthrocon [[2009]]. "They're really talented, and it does make you think. Most Sonichu fans agree that it can be very positive for a heterosexual person to have a pleasing and fulfilling homosexual experience, or vice versa... I mean, [[Blake]] is straight in the comics, but he had his walk on the wild side under the pier with Silvana, and that was a key moment in his redemption and his acceptance by the other [[electric hedgehog pokemon]], and it's generally accepted that there was something going on between Rosechu and [[Kel]] before Sonichu showed up - not a relationship, but just friends giving friends what they need."}}

==Gay 4 Sonichu==
{{Main|Gay 4 Sonichu}}

==IRC Chat==
{{Main|IRC (20 January 2009)}}

During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] on 20 [[January 2009]] (the same one where Chris admitted to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|frequently pooping his pants]]), Reilly joined the chat to mention that Chris's comic inspired him to create the Gay 4 Sonichu forum, and points out numerous aspects to it that'd make it appeal to gay people (like the frequent [[rainbow]] imagery, the [[Sonichu Balls]], and Chris's flamboyant [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] sense, among others). Chris was not pleased by this, and defended his straightness numerous times before exploding in an ALL CAPS fit of rage.

{{References}}
{{CWCipediaSaga}}
{{People}}

[[Category:LGBT]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Louisiana]]

Ignatius J. Reilly

2026-10-05T13:58:10Z

WarnerBro:

{{Troll}}
{{Infobox Person
|image = Ignatius.jpg
|name = Ignatius J. Reilly
|aliases = Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD. 
QueerSonichuLuvr 
queersonichulvr
|gender = {{gender|gender = [[JERKS|male]]}}
|occupation= Professor of Gay and Lesbian Studies 
Internet Troll
|saga = {{saga|clyde|cn}}, {{saga|cwcipedia|cn}}
}}

{{quote|Chris, you have given me and so many homosexuals the courage to come out of the closet.|Ignatius thanking Chris for helping him come out of the closet.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>}}

'''Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD''', known online as '''QueerSonichuLuvr''', is a professor of Gay and Lesbian studies from the University of New Orleans, and the acclaimed author of the research paper "''HETEROSEXUAL HOMOEROTICISM IN INTERNET SUBCULTURES: A CASE STUDY''", which studies how Chris's Sonichu comics have the tremendous effect of bringing queer people of all walks out of the closet. He made this discovery after reading the comics himself, being moved by its homoerotic elements.

From this, Ignatius created the short-lived [[Gay 4 Sonichu]] forum, where [[Homos|Gay, Lesbian]], [[Bisexual|Bi]], and [[Hermaphrodite|Trans]] Sonichu fans alike can gather and talk about their favorite comic.

==The Paper==

Ignatius' paper was posted onto the CWCki on 13 August 2009.<ref>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Champthom/Paper&oldid=37365</ref> In the paper, Ignatius theorizes that the reason for Chris's desire for a sweetheart comes from him being pressured to follow societal norms.

{{quoteboxbrown|<center>
'''HETEROSEXUAL HOMOEROTICISM IN INTERNET SUBCULTURES:''' 
'''A CASE STUDY'''

by 
Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD. 
[[Wikipedia:University of New Orleans|University of New Orleans]] 
Department of Gay and Lesbian Studies 
</center>

<big>Abstract</big> 
----
The advent of the [[Internet]] and the emergence of Internet subcultures has tremendously opened heterosexual people up to each other; for example, to discuss issues such as sexual orientation used to be somewhat taboo in mainstream society, until the internet opened an avenue for totally open homosexual expression. In this paper, the author looks at one remarkable case of a sexually confused young man, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], author of the popular [[Sonichu (comic)|"Sonichu" comics]] who manages to place homoerotic themes throughout his seemingly heterosexual comic. In this effect, he manages to create a comic that manages to capture the essence of the homoerotic urges a homosexual man must repress in modern Western culture and proves to be an inspiring work for the GLBT audience.

<big>Paper</big> 
----
Focusing upon the author Christian Weston Chandler. Due to the fact that as a young child he was often left with a [[Abusive babysitter|baby-sitter]] as his parents went out, we can assume he never went through the [[Affair with Mother|Oedipus complex]], due to the frequent absence of his father figure, [[Robert Chandler]] Junior. As stated in [[Wikipedia:Sigmund Freud|Sigmund Freud]]'s Psychoanalytical theory this is the time where a son is supposed to gain an attraction for his mother but hates his father due to knowledge that he is more powerful. The child is supposed to then identify with his father and his role as a male and thus seek another woman. Chris [[Love Quest|exhibit's a desire for a girlfriend ]]but he still seems to show a desire for his mother sharing several times cuddling together but only while Bob is away which would lead to that he is still in the complex.

A very likely explanation for Chris's desire for a female stems from denial or possibly trying to conform to society despite the emotional strains he puts upon himself as a sacrifice to show himself as a heterosexual. However Chris seems to project his gay desires into the characters of his Sonichu Comic; a very common occurrence for people in a situation like his.

As mentioned before Chris is in the Phallic stage of the psychosexual stages quite a lot of his comic contains a lot of Phallic imagery, a notable example being the [[Target]] cup with the straw in [[Sonichu 8]].
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|150px|]]

A full discussion of the "Sonichu" phenomenon cannot exclusively fixate on Chris, however. The reaction of the GLBT community, and GLBT-friendly heterosexuals, in accordance with postmodern concepts of the "[[Wikipedia:Death of the Author|Death of the Author]]", has brought about a collective interpretation of the work by the fan community which brings clarity and a coherent social message in sharp contrast to the personal confusion evident on the part of the author.

For example, the popularity of the comparatively new [[Silvana]] character is drastically at odds with the apparent intent of the character. Chandler clearly intends hir to fill a Wounded Antagonist archetype, hir formative years in isolation in the presence of the phallic [[Count Graduon]] having turned hir into a [[hermaphrodite]], which in Chandler's construction of homosocial ethics renders her incapable of personal psychosexual satisfaction and long-term life fulfilment. The fan community's embrace of hir, however, interprets hir not as a distorted or mutilated individual doing evil through abuse, but a bold genderqueer figure whose renegade activities reflect hir willingness to confront heteronormative social norms. The cross-dressing activities of the Team Rocket character James in "[[Pokemon]]", a source text for the postmodern collage of Sonichu, provides some precedent for this, but in Silvana it reaches a peak.

As a metamorph, Silvana has transcended and overcome all social expectations and boundaries with regards to gender and sexual roles, and this is embraced by the fanbase, most notably by the "Silvana team" who are a controversial and prominent element within the Sonichu fanbase at anime and furry conventions. A group of people, each costumed as Silvana, makes themselves sexually available to Sonichu fans who wish to lose their virginity, a process regarded almost as an initiatory within the hardcore Sonichu fanbase. However, a fan who takes them up on their offer never knows whether they will end up sleeping with a man, woman, or transperson, whether their partner will take the active or passive role, whether their partner will penetrate or offer themselves up for penetration. The experience is reputed to be extremely cathartic, almost religious in nature. Many Sonichu fans, having had their "Silvana moment", have either come out as gay or bisexual, or feel more comfortable in their heterosexuality as a result.

"Even if your Silvana moment isn't with someone of your preferred gender, they find ways to make it work," said R.W., a Sonichu fan interviewed at Anthrocon [[2009]]. "They're really talented, and it does make you think. Most Sonichu fans agree that it can be very positive for a heterosexual person to have a pleasing and fulfilling homosexual experience, or vice versa... I mean, [[Blake]] is straight in the comics, but he had his walk on the wild side under the pier with Silvana, and that was a key moment in his redemption and his acceptance by the other [[electric hedgehog pokemon]], and it's generally accepted that there was something going on between Rosechu and [[Kel]] before Sonichu showed up - not a relationship, but just friends giving friends what they need."}}

==Gay 4 Sonichu==
{{Main|Gay 4 Sonichu}}

==IRC Chat==
{{Main|IRC (20 January 2009)}}

During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] on 20 [[January 2009]] (the same one where Chris admitted to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|frequently pooping his pants]]), Reilly joined the chat to mention that Chris's comic inspired him to create the Gay 4 Sonichu forum, and points out numerous aspects to it that'd make it appeal to gay people (like the frequent [[rainbow]] imagery, the [[Sonichu Balls]], and Chris's flamboyant [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] sense, among others). Chris was not pleased by this, and defended his straightness numerous times before exploding in an ALL CAPS fit of rage.

{{References}}
{{CWCipediaSaga}}
{{People}}

[[Category:LGBT]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Louisiana]]

Ignatius J. Reilly

2026-10-04T00:52:42Z

WarnerBro:

{{Troll}}
{{Infobox Person
|image = Ignatius.jpg
|name = Ignatius J. Reilly
|aliases = Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD. 
QueerSonichuLuvr 
queersonichulvr
|gender = {{gender|gender = male}}
|occupation= Professor of Gay and Lesbian Studies 
Internet Troll
|saga = {{saga|clyde|cn}}, {{saga|cwcipedia|cn}}
}}

{{quote|Chris, you have given me and so many homosexuals the courage to come out of the closet.|Ignatius thanking Chris for helping him come out of the closet.<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>}}

'''Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD''', known online as '''QueerSonichuLuvr''', is a professor of Gay and Lesbian studies from the University of New Orleans, and the acclaimed author of the research paper "''HETEROSEXUAL HOMOEROTICISM IN INTERNET SUBCULTURES: A CASE STUDY''", which studies how Chris's Sonichu comics have the tremendous effect of bringing queer people of all walks out of the closet. He made this discovery after reading the comics himself, being moved by its homoerotic elements.

From this, Ignatius created the short-lived [[Gay 4 Sonichu]] forum, where [[Homos|Gay, Lesbian]], [[Bisexual|Bi]], and [[Hermaphrodite|Trans]] Sonichu fans alike can gather and talk about their favorite comic.

==The Paper==

Ignatius' paper was posted onto the CWCki on 13 August 2009.<ref>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Champthom/Paper&oldid=37365</ref> In the paper, Ignatius theorizes that the reason for Chris's desire for a sweetheart comes from him being pressured to follow societal norms.

{{quoteboxbrown|<center>
'''HETEROSEXUAL HOMOEROTICISM IN INTERNET SUBCULTURES:''' 
'''A CASE STUDY'''

by 
Ignatius J. Reilly, PhD. 
[[Wikipedia:University of New Orleans|University of New Orleans]] 
Department of Gay and Lesbian Studies 
</center>

<big>Abstract</big> 
----
The advent of the [[Internet]] and the emergence of Internet subcultures has tremendously opened heterosexual people up to each other; for example, to discuss issues such as sexual orientation used to be somewhat taboo in mainstream society, until the internet opened an avenue for totally open homosexual expression. In this paper, the author looks at one remarkable case of a sexually confused young man, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], author of the popular [[Sonichu (comic)|"Sonichu" comics]] who manages to place homoerotic themes throughout his seemingly heterosexual comic. In this effect, he manages to create a comic that manages to capture the essence of the homoerotic urges a homosexual man must repress in modern Western culture and proves to be an inspiring work for the GLBT audience.

<big>Paper</big> 
----
Focusing upon the author Christian Weston Chandler. Due to the fact that as a young child he was often left with a [[Abusive babysitter|baby-sitter]] as his parents went out, we can assume he never went through the [[Affair with Mother|Oedipus complex]], due to the frequent absence of his father figure, [[Robert Chandler]] Junior. As stated in [[Wikipedia:Sigmund Freud|Sigmund Freud]]'s Psychoanalytical theory this is the time where a son is supposed to gain an attraction for his mother but hates his father due to knowledge that he is more powerful. The child is supposed to then identify with his father and his role as a male and thus seek another woman. Chris [[Love Quest|exhibit's a desire for a girlfriend ]]but he still seems to show a desire for his mother sharing several times cuddling together but only while Bob is away which would lead to that he is still in the complex.

A very likely explanation for Chris's desire for a female stems from denial or possibly trying to conform to society despite the emotional strains he puts upon himself as a sacrifice to show himself as a heterosexual. However Chris seems to project his gay desires into the characters of his Sonichu Comic; a very common occurrence for people in a situation like his.

As mentioned before Chris is in the Phallic stage of the psychosexual stages quite a lot of his comic contains a lot of Phallic imagery, a notable example being the [[Target]] cup with the straw in [[Sonichu 8]].
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|150px|]]

A full discussion of the "Sonichu" phenomenon cannot exclusively fixate on Chris, however. The reaction of the GLBT community, and GLBT-friendly heterosexuals, in accordance with postmodern concepts of the "[[Wikipedia:Death of the Author|Death of the Author]]", has brought about a collective interpretation of the work by the fan community which brings clarity and a coherent social message in sharp contrast to the personal confusion evident on the part of the author.

For example, the popularity of the comparatively new [[Silvana]] character is drastically at odds with the apparent intent of the character. Chandler clearly intends hir to fill a Wounded Antagonist archetype, hir formative years in isolation in the presence of the phallic [[Count Graduon]] having turned hir into a [[hermaphrodite]], which in Chandler's construction of homosocial ethics renders her incapable of personal psychosexual satisfaction and long-term life fulfilment. The fan community's embrace of hir, however, interprets hir not as a distorted or mutilated individual doing evil through abuse, but a bold genderqueer figure whose renegade activities reflect hir willingness to confront heteronormative social norms. The cross-dressing activities of the Team Rocket character James in "[[Pokemon]]", a source text for the postmodern collage of Sonichu, provides some precedent for this, but in Silvana it reaches a peak.

As a metamorph, Silvana has transcended and overcome all social expectations and boundaries with regards to gender and sexual roles, and this is embraced by the fanbase, most notably by the "Silvana team" who are a controversial and prominent element within the Sonichu fanbase at anime and furry conventions. A group of people, each costumed as Silvana, makes themselves sexually available to Sonichu fans who wish to lose their virginity, a process regarded almost as an initiatory within the hardcore Sonichu fanbase. However, a fan who takes them up on their offer never knows whether they will end up sleeping with a man, woman, or transperson, whether their partner will take the active or passive role, whether their partner will penetrate or offer themselves up for penetration. The experience is reputed to be extremely cathartic, almost religious in nature. Many Sonichu fans, having had their "Silvana moment", have either come out as gay or bisexual, or feel more comfortable in their heterosexuality as a result.

"Even if your Silvana moment isn't with someone of your preferred gender, they find ways to make it work," said R.W., a Sonichu fan interviewed at Anthrocon [[2009]]. "They're really talented, and it does make you think. Most Sonichu fans agree that it can be very positive for a heterosexual person to have a pleasing and fulfilling homosexual experience, or vice versa... I mean, [[Blake]] is straight in the comics, but he had his walk on the wild side under the pier with Silvana, and that was a key moment in his redemption and his acceptance by the other [[electric hedgehog pokemon]], and it's generally accepted that there was something going on between Rosechu and [[Kel]] before Sonichu showed up - not a relationship, but just friends giving friends what they need."}}

==Gay 4 Sonichu==
{{Main|Gay 4 Sonichu}}

==IRC Chat==
{{Main|IRC (20 January 2009)}}

During an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] on 20 [[January 2009]] (the same one where Chris admitted to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|frequently pooping his pants]]), Reilly joined the chat to mention that Chris's comic inspired him to create the Gay 4 Sonichu forum, and points out numerous aspects to it that'd make it appeal to gay people (like the frequent [[rainbow]] imagery, the [[Sonichu Balls]], and Chris's flamboyant [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] sense, among others). Chris was not pleased by this, and defended his straightness numerous times before exploding in an ALL CAPS fit of rage.

{{References}}
{{CWCipediaSaga}}
{{People}}

[[Category:LGBT]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Louisiana]]

Gay 4 Sonichu

2026-10-03T21:41:04Z

WarnerBro:

[[Image:G4sbanner.jpg|center]]

'''Gay 4 Sonichu''' is the Internet's first web forum for [[Homos|Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered]] [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]]. Unsurprisingly, the message board was an attempt to bait Chris into a response by [[trolls]], which Chris [[naïve|fell for hook, line, and sinker]].

==Impact==
[[Image:SonichuGayPrideParade.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu at the Gay Pride Parade.]]

While Gay 4 Sonichu was very short term, with only one instance of direct contact with Chris (in the form of an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC encounter]] between Chris and Gay 4 Sonichu founder '''{{w|A Confederacy of Dunces|Ignatius J. Reilly}}, PhD.''') it had a long term impact. Reilly's paper on the homoerotic themes of Sonichu, "[[User:Champthom/Paper|Heterosexual Homoeroticism in Internet Subcultures: A Case Study]]" (published in the ''Journal of Gay and Lesbian Subculture Studies'', Fall [[2009]]) seemed to hit Chris hard. From [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quote|I have also heard of My Sonichu being written in College Essays that promote homosexuality. And even worse, promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades. '''WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH!''' [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|ALL]] [[Rosechu|Sonichus]] [[Magi-Chan|Are]] [[Darkbind Sonichu|Straight!]] ALL Rosechus Are Straight! I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS. I, Sonichu and Rosechu, '''We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!'''|Chris<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality Homosexuality article on CWCipedia]</ref>}}

Chris would also [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] aspects of his comic that could be taken to be gay, such as the [[Rainbow]] Chris scene from [[Sub-Episode 2]] and redubbing the [[Sonichu Balls]] "Sonichu Crystals."

When Chris was asked why he didn't just confront the forum, he said that [[PS3|he didn't have the time]].

==References by Chris==
*In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Chris alludes to Gay 4 Sonichu and Ignatius J. Reilly based on information from his [[IRC]] encounter, where Sonichu appreciates his fans regardless of sexual orientation, but reaffirms that Chris, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], etc. are STRAIGHT. In fact, he spends a grand total of one paragraph thanking his fans, no matter their orientation, and several pages ranting about being straight and how homosexuality is wrong.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]

==External links==
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20100330020304/http://gay4sonichu.yuku.com/ Gay 4 Sonichu (archive from 30 Mar 2010)]

{{CWCipediaSaga}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Reilly}}
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Christopher's name change

2026-10-01T15:28:10Z

WarnerBro:

[[Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Godbear|"I am GodBear Almighty; walk before me faithfully and be blameless. Then I will make [[Anchuent Prophecy|my covenant]] between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers." Christopher fell facedown, and the Bear said to him, "As for me, this is my covenant with you: No longer will you be called Christopher; your name will be Christian, for you will be the father of [[CWCville|many <s>towns</s> nations]]."]]

At age ten, Christopher Weston Chandler '''changed his name''' to [[Christian Weston Chandler]] as a result of events in December [[1992]]. His name was legally changed in late 1993 or early 1994. Given the significance Chris ascribes to his identity and his name, it's no wonder that he continues to consider this to be one of the most significant events of his life.

In 2016, Chris legally changed his name a second time to "[[Transgender|Christine Weston Chandler]]".<ref>[[Name change#Christian to Christine]]</ref> Two years later, he would say that his full name was Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, but he did not file to add Sonichu to his name.

==Leonard Bearstein==
Chris credits his name change to "Leonard Bearstein", an animatronic bear in a musical program presented at shopping malls and other venues. The Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra is still in operation to this day, albeit running shows in only in Kannapolis, North Carolina during its annual Celebration of Lights festival as of 2022, with prior shows in Virginia and elsewhere during the Christmas season. The Leonard character is designed to be fully interactive and engage in conversations with the audience via a human operator behind the scenes.<ref>[https://www.spintasticsounds.com/christmasbears Leonard Bearstein's about section]</ref><ref>[<s>http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leonard-Bearstein/205357189065</s> Leonard Bearstein has a Facebook FFS https://archive.vn/IuXUS the Post]</ref> During a shopping trip to [[Richmond]] in late 1992, the Chandler family encountered the Bearstein show at the Regency Square shopping mall (now [[Wikipedia:Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall]]). Chris was evidently fascinated by the spectacle, and due to the light turnout that day, he received considerable attention from the interactive bear. The performer operating Leonard asked Chris his name, and misheard "Christopher" as "Christian." Chris and his family seem to attribute this error to Leonard's English accent, rather than the fact that a [[speech impediment|mumbling]] kid was slurring to a man (one who was probably faking his accent) over a microphone built into a robotic bear.<ref name="a">[[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves]]</ref>

For reasons understood only by him, Chris adopted the new name and insisted upon being called by it.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> [[1993|On 29 December 1993]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' ran [[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves|a fluff piece]] on the incident. The story drew a connection between Chris's experience with the bear and his successes in finding an [[autism]]-friendly school and winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], and reported the family's decision to begin the legal process to rename him. It also quoted Chris's father [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as admitting that he had wanted to name his son "Christian" to begin with, but "was chicken".<ref name="a" /><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Christopher|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]], 52:22</ref>

Chris has [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|repeatedly]] [[DVD Slideshow Transcripts|misstated]] [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|the date of the event]] as 1989, as has Bob, who said it took place when Chris was "seven or eight years old".<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)]]</ref>

==Significance today==
[[Image:Crystal.jpg|thumb|right|Who the hell is Christopher? Now you know.]]

As even a cursory examination will reveal, Chris is fixated on his own name and events from his childhood. Thus an event which resulted in him having ''two'' names to obsess over is of supreme importance to him, even after almost twenty years. However, Chris routinely glosses over key details in the story – at times he will simply refer to "Christopher" or discuss being renamed by "a conducting Bear" as if no further context is required.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]</ref> For example, the [[trolls]]' first real insight into the event comes from this brief note in Chris's [[DVD]] slideshow:

{{quote|Before moving from Ruckersville to Richmond, in December of [[1989]], my family and I were watching the Regency Square Bear Band perform. When the Conductor asked me my name, I told him "Christopher", but apparently he was english, since he misunderstood me and called me "Christian". The name change settled in. Originally when I was born my father wanted to name me Christian, but he chickened out and named me Christopher.|Chris's note in his DVD Slideshow<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts]]</ref>}}

As seen here, even at age 25 Chris saw no need to explain why he would change his name at the behest of a total stranger, ursine or otherwise.

Chris's fixation on his identity came to the fore during the [[Liquid Saga]], when he was confronted with an impostor of himself. In his struggle to affirm his uniqueness in the universe, Chris reluctantly conceded that Liquid might truly share the name "Christian Weston Chandler", but clung to the idea that he and he alone was ''born'' Christopher Weston Chandler and later ''became'' Christian Weston Chandler. (This, of course, missed the point that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] was not merely taking credit for Chris's accomplishments but was claiming to ''be'' the true and honest Christian, name change and all.) This became a recurring theme in Chris's videos at the time, as he would repeatedly cite his name change as something that the impostor could not possibly claim as his own.

Since Liquid and others were constantly accusing Chris of being an impostor named "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]", Chris frequently asserted the authenticity of his name. However, the name change clouds the matter, and Chris could not even use a phrase like "my God-given name" without qualifiers:

{{quote|I am CHRISTIAN...WESTON...CHANDLER! SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME THE REAL NAME THAT [[Slow-in-the-minds|HAVE GOD HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME]], AND the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989...YOU DAMN, MOCKING, BASTARD!!!|Chris makes no sense, 6 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref>}}

Along with Chris's tendency to refer to [[God and Jesus]] in the same breath (or even [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|the same word]]), this quote gave rise to the troll meme that Leonard Bearstein is an avatar of GodJesus, or perhaps GodBear.

==Christopher as a separate personality==
{{quote|We left Christopher over there with those people in Greene County.|Bob, 19 [[March 2009]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Recent Activity.jpg|thumb|250px|"Christopher" in action]]

That Chris's preadolescence has a name unto itself seems to encourage Chris to treat "Christopher" as a former life. In his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special|KCWC dedication special]], Christian dedicated a song to Christopher and explained the distinction:

{{quote|Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the one that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me in [[heterochromia|my one blue eye]]. And in my heart and soul. Cuz he is me, I am him.|Chris, 12 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 4: #6 and #5]]</ref>}}

Shortly thereafter, Chris briefly tried to imply that Christian and Christopher were [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], going as far as faving [[anime]] [[Chris and pornography|porn]] videos on [[YouTube]] in the name of "Christopher".<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref> However, he quickly abandoned the act, and later admitted that he made the whole thing up.<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> He also tried it on [[Kacey]], but she didn't bite.<ref>[[Kacey Call 6]]</ref>

Despite Chris's assertion that Christopher lives on in him, it would appear Christopher's spirit haunts the grounds at [[14 Branchland Court]], judging by the account of ace field agent [[JenkinsJinkies]]:

{{squote|I went over to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too; strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shittin' my pants]] here. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and [[Autism|my mind]]. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[abusive babysitter]] called "Roache" locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence. [...] I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave.|Jenkins reports on the Chandler household, 27 July 2010<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|From the [[scrapbook]]
Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|From the [[DVD]]
File:The Place-1st Layer- 08Jan21 - Plushes photo.jpg|Chris's plush of Leonard
Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|Bearstein performance in the Regency Sq. Mall
Image:Godbear.jpg|A challenger appeared. Beware, Raptor Jesus!
Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|Another performance
Image:Leonard Bernstein.jpg|[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|No relation]]
Image:Angrybear.png|Don't mess with GodBear.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]
*[[Carlos Chantor]]
*[[Transgender|Christine Chandler]]
*[[Jail Saga#Arrest|August 2021 arrest]], another pivotal event in Chris's life involving Regency Mall

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20011203063210/http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ earliest archive of Leonard Bearstein's site]
*[https://archive.vn/VjC7y Archive of Richmond Times - Dispatch article, 29 December 1993]
*[https://www.shopregencymall.com/ Regency Square Mall site]

{{BearsteinSaga}}

[[Category:1990s]]
[[Category:Events]]

Christopher's name change

2026-10-01T15:27:56Z

WarnerBro:

[[Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Godbear|"I am GodBear Almighty; walk before me faithfully and be blameless. Then I will make [[Anchuent Prophecy|my covenant]] between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers." Christopher fell facedown, and the Bear said to him, "As for me, this is my covenant with you: No longer will you be called Christopher; your name will be Christian, for you will be the father of [[CWCville|many <s>towns</s> nations]]."]]

At age ten, Christopher Weston Chandler '''changed his name''' to [[Christian Weston Chandler]] as a result of events in December [[1992]]. His name was legally changed in late 1993 or early 1994. Given the significance Chris ascribes to his identity and his name, it's no wonder that he continues to consider this to be one of the most significant events of his life.

In 2016, Chris legally changed his name a second time to "[[Transgender|Christine Weston Chandler]]".<ref>[[Name change#Christian to Christine]]</ref> Two years later, he would say that his full name was Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, but he did not file to add Sonichu to his name.

==Leonard Bearstein==
Chris credits his name change to "Leonard Bearstein", an animatronic bear in a musical program presented at shopping malls and other venues. The Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra is still in operation to this day, albeit running shows in only in Kannapolis, North Carolina during its annual Celebration of Lights festival as of 2022, with prior shows in Virginia and elsewhere during the Christmas season. The Leonard character is designed to be fully interactive and engage in conversations with the audience via a human operator behind the scenes.<ref>[https://www.spintasticsounds.com/christmasbears Leonard Bearstein's about section]</ref><ref>[<s>http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leonard-Bearstein/205357189065</s> Leonard Bearstein has a Facebook FFS https://archive.vn/IuXUS the Post]</ref> During a shopping trip to [[Richmond]] in late 1992, the Chandler family encountered the Bearstein show at the Regency Square shopping mall (now [[Wikipedia:Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall]]). Chris was evidently fascinated by the spectacle, and due to the light turnout that day, he received considerable attention from the interactive bear. The performer operating Leonard asked Chris his name, and misheard "Christopher" as "Christian." Chris and his family seem to attribute this error to Leonard's English accent, rather than the fact that a [[speech impediment|mumbling]] kid was slurring to a man (one who was probably faking his accent) over a microphone built into a robotic bear.<ref name="a">[[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves]]</ref>

For reasons understood only by him, Chris adopted the new name and insisted upon being called by it.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> [[1993|On 29 December 1993]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' ran [[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves|a fluff piece]] on the incident. The story drew a connection between Chris's experience with the bear and his successes in finding an [[autism]]-friendly school and winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], and reported the family's decision to begin the legal process to rename him. It also quoted Chris's father [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as admitting that he had wanted to name his son "Christian" to begin with, but "was chicken".<ref name="a" /><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Christopher|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]], 52:22</ref>

Chris has [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|repeatedly]] [[DVD Slideshow Transcripts|misstated]] [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|the date of the event]] as 1989, as has Bob, who said it took place when Chris was "seven or eight years old".<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)]]</ref>

==Significance today==
[[Image:Crystal.jpg|thumb|right|Who the hell is Christopher? Now you know.]]

As even a cursory examination will reveal, Chris is fixated on his own name and events from his childhood. Thus an event which resulted in him having ''two'' names to obsess over is of supreme importance to him, even after almost twenty years. However, Chris routinely glosses over key details in the story – at times he will simply refer to "Christopher" or discuss being renamed by "a conducting Bear" as if no further context is required.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]</ref> For example, the [[trolls]]' first real insight into the event comes from this brief note in Chris's [[DVD]] slideshow:

{{quote|Before moving from Ruckersville to Richmond, in December of [[1989]], my family and I were watching the Regency Square Bear Band perform. When the Conductor asked me my name, I told him "Christopher", but apparently he was english, since he misunderstood me and called me "Christian". The name change settled in. Originally when I was born my father wanted to name me Christian, but he chickened out and named me Christopher.|Chris's note in his DVD Slideshow<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts]]</ref>}}

As seen here, even at age 25 Chris saw no need to explain why he would change his name at the behest of a total stranger, ursine or otherwise.

Chris's fixation on his identity came to the fore during the [[Liquid Saga]], when he was confronted with an impostor of himself. In his struggle to affirm his uniqueness in the universe, Chris reluctantly conceded that Liquid might truly share the name "Christian Weston Chandler", but clung to the idea that he and he alone was ''born'' Christopher Weston Chandler and later ''became'' Christian Weston Chandler. (This, of course, missed the point that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] was not merely taking credit for Chris's accomplishments but was claiming to ''be'' the true and honest Christian, name change and all.) This became a recurring theme in Chris's videos at the time, as he would repeatedly cite his name change as something that the impostor could not possibly claim as his own.

Since Liquid and others were constantly accusing Chris of being an impostor named "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]", Chris frequently asserted the authenticity of his name. However, the name change clouds the matter, and Chris could not even use a phrase like "my God-given name" without qualifiers:

{{quote|I am CHRISTIAN...WESTON...CHANDLER! SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME THE REAL NAME THAT [[Slow-in-the-minds|HAVE GOD HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME]], AND the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989...YOU DAMN, MOCKING, BASTARD!!!|Chris makes no sense, 6 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref>}}

Along with Chris's tendency to refer to [[God and Jesus]] in the same breath (or even [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|the same word]]), this quote gave rise to the troll meme that Leonard Bearstein is an avatar of GodJesus, or perhaps GodBear.

==Christopher as a separate personality==
{{quote|We left Christopher over there with those people in Greene County.|Bob, 19 [[March 2009]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Recent Activity.jpg|thumb|250px|"Christopher" in action]]

That Chris's preadolescence has a name unto itself seems to encourage Chris to treat "Christopher" as a former life. In his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special|KCWC dedication special]], Christian dedicated a song to Christopher and explained the distinction:

{{quote|Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the one that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me in [[heterochromia|my one blue eye]]. And in my heart and soul. Cuz he is me, I am him.|Chris, 12 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 4: #6 and #5]]</ref>}}

Shortly thereafter, Chris briefly tried to imply that Christian and Christopher were [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], going as far as faving [[anime]] [[Chris and porn|porn]] videos on [[YouTube]] in the name of "Christopher".<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref> However, he quickly abandoned the act, and later admitted that he made the whole thing up.<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> He also tried it on [[Kacey]], but she didn't bite.<ref>[[Kacey Call 6]]</ref>

Despite Chris's assertion that Christopher lives on in him, it would appear Christopher's spirit haunts the grounds at [[14 Branchland Court]], judging by the account of ace field agent [[JenkinsJinkies]]:

{{squote|I went over to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too; strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shittin' my pants]] here. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and [[Autism|my mind]]. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[abusive babysitter]] called "Roache" locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence. [...] I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave.|Jenkins reports on the Chandler household, 27 July 2010<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|From the [[scrapbook]]
Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|From the [[DVD]]
File:The Place-1st Layer- 08Jan21 - Plushes photo.jpg|Chris's plush of Leonard
Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|Bearstein performance in the Regency Sq. Mall
Image:Godbear.jpg|A challenger appeared. Beware, Raptor Jesus!
Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|Another performance
Image:Leonard Bernstein.jpg|[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|No relation]]
Image:Angrybear.png|Don't mess with GodBear.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]
*[[Carlos Chantor]]
*[[Transgender|Christine Chandler]]
*[[Jail Saga#Arrest|August 2021 arrest]], another pivotal event in Chris's life involving Regency Mall

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20011203063210/http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ earliest archive of Leonard Bearstein's site]
*[https://archive.vn/VjC7y Archive of Richmond Times - Dispatch article, 29 December 1993]
*[https://www.shopregencymall.com/ Regency Square Mall site]

{{BearsteinSaga}}

[[Category:1990s]]
[[Category:Events]]

Christopher's name change

2026-10-01T15:18:32Z

WarnerBro:

[[Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Godbear|"I am GodBear Almighty; walk before me faithfully and be blameless. Then I will make [[Anchuent Prophecy|my covenant]] between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers." Christopher fell facedown, and the Bear said to him, "As for me, this is my covenant with you: No longer will you be called Christopher; your name will be Christian, for you will be the father of [[CWCville|many <s>towns</s> nations]]."]]

At age ten, Christopher Weston Chandler '''changed his name''' to [[Christian Weston Chandler]] as a result of events in December [[1992]]. His name was legally changed in late 1993 or early 1994. Given the significance Chris ascribes to his identity and his name, it's no wonder that he continues to consider this to be one of the most significant events of his life.

In 2016, Chris legally changed his name a second time to "[[Transgender|Christine Weston Chandler]]".<ref>[[Name change#Christian to Christine]]</ref> Two years later, he would say that his full name was Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, but he did not file to add Sonichu to his name.

==Leonard Bearstein==
Chris credits his name change to "Leonard Bearstein", an animatronic bear in a musical program presented at shopping malls and other venues. The Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra is still in operation to this day, albeit running shows in only in Kannapolis, North Carolina during its annual Celebration of Lights festival as of 2022, with prior shows in Virginia and elsewhere during the Christmas season. The Leonard character is designed to be fully interactive and engage in conversations with the audience via a human operator behind the scenes.<ref>[https://www.spintasticsounds.com/christmasbears Leonard Bearstein's about section]</ref><ref>[<s>http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leonard-Bearstein/205357189065</s> Leonard Bearstein has a Facebook FFS https://archive.vn/IuXUS the Post]</ref> During a shopping trip to [[Richmond]] in late 1992, the Chandler family encountered the Bearstein show at the Regency Square shopping mall (now [[Wikipedia:Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall]]). Chris was evidently fascinated by the spectacle, and due to the light turnout that day, he received considerable attention from the interactive bear. The performer operating Leonard asked Chris his name, and misheard "Christopher" as "Christian." Chris and his family seem to attribute this error to Leonard's English accent, rather than the fact that a [[speech impediment|mumbling]] kid was slurring to a man (one who was probably faking his accent) over a microphone built into a robotic bear.<ref name="a">[[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves]]</ref>

For reasons understood only by him, Chris adopted the new name and insisted upon being called by it.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> [[1993|On 29 December 1993]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' ran [[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves|a fluff piece]] on the incident. The story drew a connection between Chris's experience with the bear and his successes in finding an [[autism]]-friendly school and winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], and reported the family's decision to begin the legal process to rename him. It also quoted Chris's father [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as admitting that he had wanted to name his son "Christian" to begin with, but "was chicken".<ref name="a" /><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Christopher|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]], 52:22</ref>

Chris has [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|repeatedly]] [[DVD Slideshow Transcripts|misstated]] [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|the date of the event]] as 1989, as has Bob, who said it took place when Chris was "seven or eight years old".<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)]]</ref>

==Significance today==
[[Image:Crystal.jpg|thumb|right|Who the hell is Christopher? Now you know.]]

As even a cursory examination will reveal, Chris is fixated on his own name and events from his childhood. Thus an event which resulted in him having ''two'' names to obsess over is of supreme importance to him, even after almost twenty years. However, Chris routinely glosses over key details in the story – at times he will simply refer to "Christopher" or discuss being renamed by "a conducting Bear" as if no further context is required.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]</ref> For example, the [[trolls]]' first real insight into the event comes from this brief note in Chris's [[DVD]] slideshow:

{{quote|Before moving from Ruckersville to Richmond, in December of [[1989]], my family and I were watching the Regency Square Bear Band perform. When the Conductor asked me my name, I told him "Christopher", but apparently he was english, since he misunderstood me and called me "Christian". The name change settled in. Originally when I was born my father wanted to name me Christian, but he chickened out and named me Christopher.|Chris's note in his DVD Slideshow<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts]]</ref>}}

As seen here, even at age 25 Chris saw no need to explain why he would change his name at the behest of a total stranger, ursine or otherwise.

Chris's fixation on his identity came to the fore during the [[Liquid Saga]], when he was confronted with an impostor of himself. In his struggle to affirm his uniqueness in the universe, Chris reluctantly conceded that Liquid might truly share the name "Christian Weston Chandler", but clung to the idea that he and he alone was ''born'' Christopher Weston Chandler and later ''became'' Christian Weston Chandler. (This, of course, missed the point that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] was not merely taking credit for Chris's accomplishments but was claiming to ''be'' the true and honest Christian, name change and all.) This became a recurring theme in Chris's videos at the time, as he would repeatedly cite his name change as something that the impostor could not possibly claim as his own.

Since Liquid and others were constantly accusing Chris of being an impostor named "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]", Chris frequently asserted the authenticity of his name. However, the name change clouds the matter, and Chris could not even use a phrase like "my God-given name" without qualifiers:

{{quote|I am CHRISTIAN...WESTON...CHANDLER! SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME THE REAL NAME THAT [[Slow-in-the-minds|HAVE GOD HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME]], AND the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989...YOU DAMN, MOCKING, BASTARD!!!|Chris makes no sense, 6 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref>}}

Along with Chris's tendency to refer to [[God and Jesus]] in the same breath (or even [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|the same word]]), this quote gave rise to the troll meme that Leonard Bearstein is an avatar of GodJesus, or perhaps GodBear.

==Christopher as a separate personality==
{{quote|We left Christopher over there with those people in Greene County.|Bob, 19 [[March 2009]]<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Recent Activity.jpg|thumb|250px|"Christopher" in action]]

That Chris's preadolescence has a name unto itself seems to encourage Chris to treat "Christopher" as a former life. In his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special|KCWC dedication special]], Christian dedicated a song to Christopher and explained the distinction:

{{quote|Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the one that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me in [[heterochromia|my one blue eye]]. And in my heart and soul. Cuz he is me, I am him.|Chris, 12 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 4: #6 and #5]]</ref>}}

Shortly thereafter, Chris briefly tried to imply that Christian and Christopher were [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], going as far as faving [[anime]] porn videos on [[YouTube]] in the name of "Christopher".<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref> However, he quickly abandoned the act, and later admitted that he made the whole thing up.<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> He also tried it on [[Kacey]], but she didn't bite.<ref>[[Kacey Call 6]]</ref>

Despite Chris's assertion that Christopher lives on in him, it would appear Christopher's spirit haunts the grounds at [[14 Branchland Court]], judging by the account of ace field agent [[JenkinsJinkies]]:

{{squote|I went over to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too; strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shittin' my pants here]]. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and [[Autism|my mind]]. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[abusive babysitter]] called "Roache" locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence. [...] I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave.|Jenkins reports on the Chandler household, 27 July 2010<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|From the [[scrapbook]]
Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|From the [[DVD]]
File:The Place-1st Layer- 08Jan21 - Plushes photo.jpg|Chris's plush of Leonard
Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|Bearstein performance in the Regency Sq. Mall
Image:Godbear.jpg|A challenger appeared. Beware, Raptor Jesus!
Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|Another performance
Image:Leonard Bernstein.jpg|[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|No relation]]
Image:Angrybear.png|Don't mess with GodBear.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]
*[[Carlos Chantor]]
*[[Transgender|Christine Chandler]]
*[[Jail Saga#Arrest|August 2021 arrest]], another pivotal event in Chris's life involving Regency Mall

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20011203063210/http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ earliest archive of Leonard Bearstein's site]
*[https://archive.vn/VjC7y Archive of Richmond Times - Dispatch article, 29 December 1993]
*[https://www.shopregencymall.com/ Regency Square Mall site]

{{BearsteinSaga}}

[[Category:1990s]]
[[Category:Events]]

Decepti-Clones

2026-10-01T03:28:26Z

WarnerBro:

The '''Decepti-Clones''' are a line of evil robots in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]] which work for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Created by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and her minions for use in battle, the Decepti-Clones come in three variants with different purposes, all based on actual Decepticons from the various ''[[Transformers]]'' animated series, movies and comics. The very first of these was the Crackder, which appeared all the way back in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. However, in this model's first appearance, there was only one Crackder, and he was described as a "[[Chris and copyright|Change-Bot]]" rather than a transformer. Crackder would later reappear as a mass-produced robot and backed up by two other Decepti-Clone models.

Conceptually, the Decepti-Clone army originated from the ''Transformers'' video game for PS2, which featured many weak, mass-produced enemies like the Decepti-Clones which could be killed in droves by the player character so as to reserve actual Decepticons for boss encounters. In essence, they were to the Decepticons what the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] are to the [[Manajerks]]. Their spiritual successors in ''Sonichu'' serve much the same purpose.

== S.A.V.s (Scoundrals As Vessels) ==
[[Image:SAVBot.jpg|thumb|Not the [[Bionic the Hedgehog|gayest of Chris's creations]], but the colors don't help.]]

The S.A.V.s ('''[[Chris and English|Scoundrals]] As Vessels''', spelling later corrected to '''Scoundrels As Vessels''') were the most prominently featured of Chris's Decepti-Clones, despite not being the first he created. Their purpose was simple: They were unmanned robots and came in large numbers, which meant that Chris's characters could destroy hundreds of them at a time and not have to worry about actually killing anyone. Unlike with a [[Jerkop]], a giant robot can be sliced in half or blown up, and no one will think anything of it, even if the robot is sentient. Also, it goes without saying that fighting robots is infinitely cooler than fighting mall cops.

The S.A.V.s themselves transformed into armored S.U.V.s, hence the name, with large cannons mounted on top. They were said to act much like tanks in battle. They were slow and heavy, and Chris claimed among other things that an S.A.V. stomping could be heard and felt from ten miles away, and that a hit by a blast from their cannons was equivalent to an impact from "Class 5 Meteor".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150323064309/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Scoundrals_As_Vessels old CWCki S.A.V.]</ref>

Their design is based on that of [[Wikipedia:Swindle (Transformers)|Swindle]] from [[Wikipedia: Transformers Animated|''Transformers Animated'']]. The name is also most likely based on the Transformers Animated episode "SUV: Society of Ultimate Villainy", the episode in which that continuity's iteration of Swindle was introduced.

They appeared for the first and last time in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], where they almost outnumbered the Jerkops in their sheer numbers. [[Sonichu]], [[Blake]], [[Bubbles]], [[Armoraxe]] and [[Reginald Sneasel]] are all seen killing S.A.V.s at various points in the comic, with Sonichu destroying an S.A.V. as part of the [[Sonichu Fan Promo]] adaptation and Blake also killing an S.A.V. with a crown who seemed to be a squad leader.

Towards the end of the comic, [[Magi-Chan]] sends a psychic message to Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] to tell them of the state of [[CWCville]] and the ongoing battle. In a long textwall, Magi-Chan mentions in passing that the entirety of Mary's Decepti-Clone army had been destroyed, and that [[Son-Chu]] and [[Samurai Pizza Bots|Excelina]] had already gathered up the parts and shipped them off to an army base to be [[Recycling|recycled]]. The S.A.V.s are never seen again.

== Crackders ==
[[Image:CrackderBot.jpg|thumb|left|Behold, [[Wes Iseli|one]] [[Bagget|of]] [[W-M Manajerk|many]] [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|foes]] who has no problem beating Chris and yet does not kill him.]]

The Crackder was one of the first Decepti-Clones to appear in ''Sonichu'', having first been called upon in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] by [[Bagget]] to defeat Chris at the [[Get-Tar Region]]. Though Chris tried to defeat the Crackder, it easily won by tripping him up and causing his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form to deactivate. Jerkops were then able to handcuff him while Crackder picked him up and dropped him from a high height, just because he deserved that little extra bit of humiliation. Crackder then transformed into a fighter jet (based on the Soviet ''[[wikipedia: Sukhoi Su-35|Su-35]]'') to take Bagget, [[Jerkhief]] and Chris back to PVCC headquarters, and was then not seen again until much later in the series.

Crackder, while similar in nature to [[Wikipedia:Starscream|Starscream]], was actually a ripoff of a different Decepticon named [[Wikipedia:Thundercracker|Thundercracker]], specifically the [[Wikipedia:Transformers: Cybertron|''Transformers: Cybertron'']] version of him. This is even alluded to in the dialogue, as Bagget at one point claims that Crackder was made from parts imported from Cybertron, which in-universe is the home planet of the Transformers and the namesake of the series.

There were many differences between Crackder in his two appearances. As was mentioned above, in his original appearance Crackder was referred to as a "Change-Bot" rather than explicitly as a transformer, and there was originally only one of him. By the time of his next appearance in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] however, his status was upgraded to an official Transformer, (or to a Decepti-Clone at least), he was mass-produced, he was backed up by two other Decepti-Clone variants, and he seemed to have undergone a dramatic decrease in both power and ability, as in his original appearance, the lone Crackder was able to take down Chris in his super form single-handedly, whilst by the time of ''Sonichu #9'' [[Angelica]] was able to destroy four of them by herself in less than two pages, meaning that either the mass-produced Crackders were a lot weaker than the original, or Chris was just a useless pussy.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], Crackders are primarily armed with long-range Guided Missiles in their jet form, and a massive Arm Cannon in robot form. They are described as the quickest of the Decepti-Clone variants, as well as the "most deadly and cunning".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140829070102/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Crackder old CWCki Crackder]</ref>

When the Crackder reappeared in ''Sonichu #9'' as a mass produced model, it served as the Jerkop's aerial offensive on CWCville. While the S.A.V.s were unpiloted mechs which drove on the ground and the Punislavs were [[Jerkop]]-driven [[Son-Chu|cars]] in vehicle mode, Crackder still transforms into a jet fighter, and in fact, is only ever seen in this form in the issue. Whether or not they are still piloted is never made clear, but if they were, then [[Chaotic Combo|our heroes]] are most certainly guilty of murder now. Throughout the issue, a grand total of nine of them appear. Five of them attack [[Angelica Rosechu]]'s church early in the issue and are all destroyed, [[Excelina]] shoots down one, and another three are seen flying over the shielded [[CWCville Mall]], possibly trying to bomb it given the state of it later in the issue. [[Magi-Chan]] takes down at least one of them, and also has a psychic battle with [[Silvana Rosechu]] on top of another. As stated above, by the end of the issue, Magi-Chan claims that all the Decepti-Clones were destroyed and the parts were sent off to army bases to be recycled, so it is assumed that he destroyed the other two as well.

== Punislavs ==
[[Image:PunislavBot.jpg|thumb|Punislavs would be a lot more menacing if they didn't look like big logs of shit on wheels when in vehicle mode.]]

The Jerkop Punislav (Джэркоп Пунислав) was the final model of the Decepti-Clones used by the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Punislav is one of the most obvious [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripoffs]] that Chris has created, with almost every feature an exact copy of [[Wikipedia:Barricade (Transformers)|Barricade]] as he appeared in the ''Transformers'' movie. Like Barricade, the Punislavs all transform into mock police cruisers with a parody of the police motto "To Protect and Serve". There are precisely two differences between Barricade and a Punislav, the first being that Barricade is black and white while the Punislavs are brown and gray, and second being that while Barricade has the far more menacing "To Punish and Enslave" description on the side, Chris's one track mind came up with "[[Love Quest|To Shatter and Torture All Hearts]]" instead.

While the S.A.V.s and possibly the Crackders too were both unmanned pilot-free mechs, built to fight both on the ground and in the air, the Punislavs in the comic appeared to have the primary purpose of transporting [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] around [[CWCville]] in large numbers so that they could get to different parts of the battle quicker. While quite often seen in vehicle mode, some were seen in robot mode too, though whether they were still piloted in that form is never made clear. In their robot forms, they depend on their sharp claws, fast speed, and quick reflexes to fight.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140829070110/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punislav old CWCki Punislav]</ref>

The name "Punislav" is said to have come from Chris wanting to call the robot a Punislave, (from Barricade's inscription), but he decided to change it at the last minute to avoid accusations of [[Chris and race|racism]], given that it was a [[niggos|brown car]] being referred to as a slave. However, the "-slav" suffix implies that the character has [[Molvanîa|Slavic]] origins instead.

In the comics, Punislavs only ever appeared ''Sonichu #9''. Much like the S.A.V.s before them, they appeared in great numbers throughout the issue. A few were seen in the forest early on, with at least one destroyed by [[Simonla]] after causing it to crash into a tree in vehicle mode. [[Reginald Sneasel]] destroyed two more shortly afterward at Angelica's church. Another two showed up in downtown CWCville destroying a building, both of which were destroyed by [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], and a further two are killed by [[Prower]] and [[Bumble-Lumba]]. The biggest role they play however is in Chris's comic adaptation of [[Sonichu Fan Promo]], in which it is a Punislav who captured Rosechu and takes her away, transforming into vehicle mode and driving away with her in the backseat. This particular Punislav is followed by Sonichu to CWCville Park, where it turns out to be under the control of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]], who use the captured Rosechu held unconscious in the Punislav's arms as a ransom, demanding Sonichu hand over control of the city to them. The Punislav is destroyed, however, and Rosechu is saved. All the Punislavs are assumed to have been destroyed and recycled by the army following Magi-Chan's claim towards the end of the issue. After this, they are never seen again.

In [[January 2025]], Chris published to YouTube a video on his customized figure of Punislav, a part of his made-up line of figures [[Transformers Legacy United Merged]].<ref>[[Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First]]</ref> In it, Chris shows his box art which contains the bio:<ref>[[:File:Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First 83ebXzBmoWQ.webm00001.jpg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|The longest surviving Punislav from the bunch of Punislavs made by [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] of PVCCitizens. This one Punislav stood the greatest of endurance amidst the number of battles against the Sonichus and Rosechus of Cweville, as well as [[Chris Chan Sonichu]], herself. This one got upgraded by [[Megatron]] and his dark leader boss, [[Gwen Mikoto|Gwenmi Mikoto]]. Punislav, here, is like an old man compared to his two partners. Cracker and S A V. (the Firsts), but he still has the villainous rush to destroy with the old, yet outdated, ideal of making true love illegal. He's so stuck in old times like that}}

==Gallery of plagiarism==
<center><gallery>
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg|Crackder = Cybertron [[Wikipedia:Thundercracker|Thundercracker]]
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg|S.A.V. = Animated [[Wikipedia:Swindle (Transformers)|Swindle]]
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg|Punislav = movie [[Wikipedia:Barricade (Transformers)|Barricade]]
File:Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First 83ebXzBmoWQ.webm00001.jpg|Box art for Punislav
</gallery></center>

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Transformers]]
*[[Samurai Pizza Bots]]
*[[Son-Chu]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Transformers}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Transformers]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Decepti-Clones

2026-09-30T23:01:48Z

WarnerBro:

The '''Decepti-Clones''' are a line of evil robots in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]] which work for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Created by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and her minions for use in battle, the Decepti-Clones come in three variants with different purposes, all based on actual Decepticons from the various ''[[Transformers]]'' animated series, movies and comics. The very first of these was the Crackder, which appeared all the way back in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. However, in this model's first appearance, there was only one Crackder, and he was described as a "[[Transformer|Change-Bot]]" rather than a transformer. Crackder would later reappear as a mass-produced robot and backed up by two other Decepti-Clone models.

Conceptually, the Decepti-Clone army originated from the ''Transformers'' video game for PS2, which featured many weak, mass-produced enemies like the Decepti-Clones which could be killed in droves by the player character so as to reserve actual Decepticons for boss encounters. In essence, they were to the Decepticons what the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] are to the [[Manajerks]]. Their spiritual successors in ''Sonichu'' serve much the same purpose.

== S.A.V.s (Scoundrals As Vessels) ==
[[Image:SAVBot.jpg|thumb|Not the [[Bionic the Hedgehog|gayest of Chris's creations]], but the colors don't help.]]

The S.A.V.s ('''[[Chris and English|Scoundrals]] As Vessels''', spelling later corrected to '''Scoundrels As Vessels''') were the most prominently featured of Chris's Decepti-Clones, despite not being the first he created. Their purpose was simple: They were unmanned robots and came in large numbers, which meant that Chris's characters could destroy hundreds of them at a time and not have to worry about actually killing anyone. Unlike with a [[Jerkop]], a giant robot can be sliced in half or blown up, and no one will think anything of it, even if the robot is sentient. Also, it goes without saying that fighting robots is infinitely cooler than fighting mall cops.

The S.A.V.s themselves transformed into armored S.U.V.s, hence the name, with large cannons mounted on top. They were said to act much like tanks in battle. They were slow and heavy, and Chris claimed among other things that an S.A.V. stomping could be heard and felt from ten miles away, and that a hit by a blast from their cannons was equivalent to an impact from "Class 5 Meteor".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150323064309/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Scoundrals_As_Vessels old CWCki S.A.V.]</ref>

Their design is based on that of [[Wikipedia:Swindle (Transformers)|Swindle]] from [[Wikipedia: Transformers Animated|''Transformers Animated'']]. The name is also most likely based on the Transformers Animated episode "SUV: Society of Ultimate Villainy", the episode in which that continuity's iteration of Swindle was introduced.

They appeared for the first and last time in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], where they almost outnumbered the Jerkops in their sheer numbers. [[Sonichu]], [[Blake]], [[Bubbles]], [[Armoraxe]] and [[Reginald Sneasel]] are all seen killing S.A.V.s at various points in the comic, with Sonichu destroying an S.A.V. as part of the [[Sonichu Fan Promo]] adaptation and Blake also killing an S.A.V. with a crown who seemed to be a squad leader.

Towards the end of the comic, [[Magi-Chan]] sends a psychic message to Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] to tell them of the state of [[CWCville]] and the ongoing battle. In a long textwall, Magi-Chan mentions in passing that the entirety of Mary's Decepti-Clone army had been destroyed, and that [[Son-Chu]] and [[Samurai Pizza Bots|Excelina]] had already gathered up the parts and shipped them off to an army base to be [[Recycling|recycled]]. The S.A.V.s are never seen again.

== Crackders ==
[[Image:CrackderBot.jpg|thumb|left|Behold, [[Wes Iseli|one]] [[Bagget|of]] [[W-M Manajerk|many]] [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|foes]] who has no problem beating Chris and yet does not kill him.]]

The Crackder was one of the first Decepti-Clones to appear in ''Sonichu'', having first been called upon in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] by [[Bagget]] to defeat Chris at the [[Get-Tar Region]]. Though Chris tried to defeat the Crackder, it easily won by tripping him up and causing his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form to deactivate. Jerkops were then able to handcuff him while Crackder picked him up and dropped him from a high height, just because he deserved that little extra bit of humiliation. Crackder then transformed into a fighter jet (based on the Soviet ''[[wikipedia: Sukhoi Su-35|Su-35]]'') to take Bagget, [[Jerkhief]] and Chris back to PVCC headquarters, and was then not seen again until much later in the series.

Crackder, while similar in nature to [[Wikipedia:Starscream|Starscream]], was actually a ripoff of a different Decepticon named [[Wikipedia:Thundercracker|Thundercracker]], specifically the [[Wikipedia:Transformers: Cybertron|''Transformers: Cybertron'']] version of him. This is even alluded to in the dialogue, as Bagget at one point claims that Crackder was made from parts imported from Cybertron, which in-universe is the home planet of the Transformers and the namesake of the series.

There were many differences between Crackder in his two appearances. As was mentioned above, in his original appearance Crackder was referred to as a "Change-Bot" rather than explicitly as a transformer, and there was originally only one of him. By the time of his next appearance in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] however, his status was upgraded to an official Transformer, (or to a Decepti-Clone at least), he was mass-produced, he was backed up by two other Decepti-Clone variants, and he seemed to have undergone a dramatic decrease in both power and ability, as in his original appearance, the lone Crackder was able to take down Chris in his super form single-handedly, whilst by the time of ''Sonichu #9'' [[Angelica]] was able to destroy four of them by herself in less than two pages, meaning that either the mass-produced Crackders were a lot weaker than the original, or Chris was just a useless pussy.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], Crackders are primarily armed with long-range Guided Missiles in their jet form, and a massive Arm Cannon in robot form. They are described as the quickest of the Decepti-Clone variants, as well as the "most deadly and cunning".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140829070102/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Crackder old CWCki Crackder]</ref>

When the Crackder reappeared in ''Sonichu #9'' as a mass produced model, it served as the Jerkop's aerial offensive on CWCville. While the S.A.V.s were unpiloted mechs which drove on the ground and the Punislavs were [[Jerkop]]-driven [[Son-Chu|cars]] in vehicle mode, Crackder still transforms into a jet fighter, and in fact, is only ever seen in this form in the issue. Whether or not they are still piloted is never made clear, but if they were, then [[Chaotic Combo|our heroes]] are most certainly guilty of murder now. Throughout the issue, a grand total of nine of them appear. Five of them attack [[Angelica Rosechu]]'s church early in the issue and are all destroyed, [[Excelina]] shoots down one, and another three are seen flying over the shielded [[CWCville Mall]], possibly trying to bomb it given the state of it later in the issue. [[Magi-Chan]] takes down at least one of them, and also has a psychic battle with [[Silvana Rosechu]] on top of another. As stated above, by the end of the issue, Magi-Chan claims that all the Decepti-Clones were destroyed and the parts were sent off to army bases to be recycled, so it is assumed that he destroyed the other two as well.

== Punislavs ==
[[Image:PunislavBot.jpg|thumb|Punislavs would be a lot more menacing if they didn't look like big logs of shit on wheels when in vehicle mode.]]

The Jerkop Punislav (Джэркоп Пунислав) was the final model of the Decepti-Clones used by the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Punislav is one of the most obvious [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripoffs]] that Chris has created, with almost every feature an exact copy of [[Wikipedia:Barricade (Transformers)|Barricade]] as he appeared in the ''Transformers'' movie. Like Barricade, the Punislavs all transform into mock police cruisers with a parody of the police motto "To Protect and Serve". There are precisely two differences between Barricade and a Punislav, the first being that Barricade is black and white while the Punislavs are brown and gray, and second being that while Barricade has the far more menacing "To Punish and Enslave" description on the side, Chris's one track mind came up with "[[Love Quest|To Shatter and Torture All Hearts]]" instead.

While the S.A.V.s and possibly the Crackders too were both unmanned pilot-free mechs, built to fight both on the ground and in the air, the Punislavs in the comic appeared to have the primary purpose of transporting [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] around [[CWCville]] in large numbers so that they could get to different parts of the battle quicker. While quite often seen in vehicle mode, some were seen in robot mode too, though whether they were still piloted in that form is never made clear. In their robot forms, they depend on their sharp claws, fast speed, and quick reflexes to fight.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140829070110/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punislav old CWCki Punislav]</ref>

The name "Punislav" is said to have come from Chris wanting to call the robot a Punislave, (from Barricade's inscription), but he decided to change it at the last minute to avoid accusations of [[Chris and race|racism]], given that it was a [[niggos|brown car]] being referred to as a slave. However, the "-slav" suffix implies that the character has [[Molvanîa|Slavic]] origins instead.

In the comics, Punislavs only ever appeared ''Sonichu #9''. Much like the S.A.V.s before them, they appeared in great numbers throughout the issue. A few were seen in the forest early on, with at least one destroyed by [[Simonla]] after causing it to crash into a tree in vehicle mode. [[Reginald Sneasel]] destroyed two more shortly afterward at Angelica's church. Another two showed up in downtown CWCville destroying a building, both of which were destroyed by [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], and a further two are killed by [[Prower]] and [[Bumble-Lumba]]. The biggest role they play however is in Chris's comic adaptation of [[Sonichu Fan Promo]], in which it is a Punislav who captured Rosechu and takes her away, transforming into vehicle mode and driving away with her in the backseat. This particular Punislav is followed by Sonichu to CWCville Park, where it turns out to be under the control of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]], who use the captured Rosechu held unconscious in the Punislav's arms as a ransom, demanding Sonichu hand over control of the city to them. The Punislav is destroyed, however, and Rosechu is saved. All the Punislavs are assumed to have been destroyed and recycled by the army following Magi-Chan's claim towards the end of the issue. After this, they are never seen again.

In [[January 2025]], Chris published to YouTube a video on his customized figure of Punislav, a part of his made-up line of figures [[Transformers Legacy United Merged]].<ref>[[Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First]]</ref> In it, Chris shows his box art which contains the bio:<ref>[[:File:Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First 83ebXzBmoWQ.webm00001.jpg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|The longest surviving Punislav from the bunch of Punislavs made by [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] of PVCCitizens. This one Punislav stood the greatest of endurance amidst the number of battles against the Sonichus and Rosechus of Cweville, as well as [[Chris Chan Sonichu]], herself. This one got upgraded by [[Megatron]] and his dark leader boss, [[Gwen Mikoto|Gwenmi Mikoto]]. Punislav, here, is like an old man compared to his two partners. Cracker and S A V. (the Firsts), but he still has the villainous rush to destroy with the old, yet outdated, ideal of making true love illegal. He's so stuck in old times like that}}

==Gallery of plagiarism==
<center><gallery>
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg|Crackder = Cybertron [[Wikipedia:Thundercracker|Thundercracker]]
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg|S.A.V. = Animated [[Wikipedia:Swindle (Transformers)|Swindle]]
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg|Punislav = movie [[Wikipedia:Barricade (Transformers)|Barricade]]
File:Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First 83ebXzBmoWQ.webm00001.jpg|Box art for Punislav
</gallery></center>

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Transformers]]
*[[Samurai Pizza Bots]]
*[[Son-Chu]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Transformers}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Transformers]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Decepti-Clones

2026-09-30T23:00:32Z

WarnerBro:

The '''Decepti-Clones''' are a line of evil robots in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]] which work for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Created by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and her minions for use in battle, the Decepti-Clones come in three variants with different purposes, all based on actual Decepticons from the various ''[[Transformers]]'' animated series, movies and comics. The very first of these was the Crackder, which appeared all the way back in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. However, in this model's first appearance, there was only one Crackder, and he was described as a "[[Transformer|Change-Bot]]" rather than a transformer. Crackder would later reappear as a mass-produced robot and backed up by two other Decepti-Clone models.

Conceptually, the Decepti-Clone army originated from the ''Transformers'' video game for PS2, which featured many weak, mass-produced enemies like the Decepti-Clones which could be killed in droves by the player character so as to reserve actual Decepticons for boss encounters. In essence, they were to the Decepticons what the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] are to the [[Manajerks]]. Their spiritual successors in ''Sonichu'' serve much the same purpose.

== S.A.V.s (Scoundrals As Vessels) ==
[[Image:SAVBot.jpg|thumb|Not the [[Bionic the Hedgehog|gayest of Chris's creations]], but the colors don't help.]]

The S.A.V.s ('''[[Chris and English|Scoundrals]] As Vessels''', spelling later corrected to '''Scoundrels As Vessels''') were the most prominently featured of Chris's Decepti-Clones, despite not being the first he created. Their purpose was simple: They were unmanned robots and came in large numbers, which meant that Chris's characters could destroy hundreds of them at a time and not have to worry about actually killing anyone. Unlike with a [[Jerkop]], a giant robot can be sliced in half or blown up, and no one will think anything of it, even if the robot is sentient. Also, it goes without saying that fighting robots is infinitely cooler than fighting mall cops.

The S.A.V.s themselves transformed into armored S.U.V.s, hence the name, with large cannons mounted on top. They were said to act much like tanks in battle. They were slow and heavy, and Chris claimed among other things that an S.A.V. stomping could be heard and felt from ten miles away, and that a hit by a blast from their cannons was equivalent to an impact from "Class 5 Meteor".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150323064309/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Scoundrals_As_Vessels old CWCki S.A.V.]</ref>

Their design is based on that of [[Wikipedia:Swindle (Transformers)|Swindle]] from [[Wikipedia: Transformers Animated|''Transformers Animated'']]. The name is also most likely based on the Transformers Animated episode "SUV: Society of Ultimate Villainy", the episode in which that continuity's iteration of Swindle was introduced.

They appeared for the first and last time in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], where they almost outnumbered the Jerkops in their sheer numbers. [[Sonichu]], [[Blake]], [[Bubbles]], [[Armoraxe]] and [[Reginald Sneasel]] are all seen killing S.A.V.s at various points in the comic, with Sonichu destroying an S.A.V. as part of the [[Sonichu Fan Promo]] adaptation and Blake also killing an S.A.V. with a crown who seemed to be a squad leader.

Towards the end of the comic, [[Magi-Chan]] sends a psychic message to Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] to tell them of the state of [[CWCville]] and the ongoing battle. In a long textwall, Magi-Chan mentions in passing that the entirety of Mary's Decepti-Clone army had been destroyed, and that [[Son-Chu]] and [[Samurai Pizza Bots|Excelina]] had already gathered up the parts and shipped them off to an army base to be [[Recycling|recycled]]. The S.A.V.s are never seen again.

== Crackders ==
[[Image:CrackderBot.jpg|thumb|left|Behold, [[Wes Iseli|one]] [[Bagget|of]] [[W-M Manajerk|many]] [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|foes]] who has no problem beating Chris and yet does not kill him.]]

The Crackder was one of the first Decepti-Clones to appear in ''Sonichu'', having first been called upon in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] by [[Bagget]] to defeat Chris at the [[Get-Tar Region]]. Though Chris tried to defeat the Crackder, it easily won by tripping him up and causing his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form to deactivate. Jerkops were then able to handcuff him while Crackder picked him up and dropped him from a high height, just because he deserved that little extra bit of humiliation. Crackder then transformed into a fighter jet (based on the Soviet ''[[wikipedia: Sukhoi Su-35|Su-35]]'') to take Bagget, [[Jerkhief]] and Chris back to PVCC headquarters, and was then not seen again until much later in the series.

Crackder, while similar in nature to [[Wikipedia:Starscream|Starscream]], was actually a ripoff of a different Decepticon named [[Wikipedia:Thundercracker|Thundercracker]], specifically the [[Wikipedia:Transformers: Cybertron|''Transformers: Cybertron'']] version of him. This is even alluded to in the dialogue, as Bagget at one point claims that Crackder was made from parts imported from Cybertron, which in-universe is the home planet of the Transformers and the namesake of the series.

There were many differences between Crackder in his two appearances. As was mentioned above, in his original appearance Crackder was referred to as a "Change-Bot" rather than explicitly as a transformer, and there was originally only one of him. By the time of his next appearance in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] however, his status was upgraded to an official Transformer, (or to a Decepti-Clone at least), he was mass-produced, he was backed up by two other Decepti-Clone variants, and he seemed to have undergone a dramatic decrease in both power and ability, as in his original appearance, the lone Crackder was able to take down Chris in his super form single-handedly, whilst by the time of ''Sonichu #9'' [[Angelica]] was able to destroy four of them by herself in less than two pages, meaning that either the mass-produced Crackders were a lot weaker than the original, or Chris was just a useless pussy.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], Crackders are primarily armed with long-range Guided Missiles in their jet form, and a massive Arm Cannon in robot form. They are described as the quickest of the Decepti-Clone variants, as well as the "most deadly and cunning".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140829070102/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Crackder old CWCki Crackder]</ref>

When the Crackder reappeared in ''Sonichu #9'' as a mass produced model, it served as the Jerkop's aerial offensive on CWCville. While the S.A.V.s were unpiloted mechs which drove on the ground and the Punislavs were [[Jerkop]]-driven [[Son-Chu|cars]] in vehicle mode, Crackder still transforms into a jet fighter, and in fact, is only ever seen in this form in the issue. Whether or not they are still piloted is never made clear, but if they were, then [[Chaotic Combo|our heroes]] are most certainly guilty of murder now. Throughout the issue, a grand total of nine of them appear. Five of them attack [[Angelica Rosechu]]'s church early in the issue and are all destroyed, [[Excelina]] shoots down one, and another three are seen flying over the shielded [[CWCville Mall]], possibly trying to bomb it given the state of it later in the issue. [[Magi-Chan]] takes down at least one of them, and also has a psychic battle with [[Silvana Rosechu]] on top of another. As stated above, by the end of the issue, Magi-Chan claims that all the Decepti-Clones were destroyed and the parts were sent off to army bases to be recycled, so it is assumed that he destroyed the other two as well.

== Punislavs ==
[[Image:PunislavBot.jpg|thumb|Punislavs would be a lot more menacing if they didn't look like big logs of shit on wheels when in vehicle mode.]]

The Jerkop Punislav (Джэркоп Пунислав) was the final model of the Decepti-Clones used by the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Punislav is one of the most obvious [[List of things Chris has ripped off|ripoffs]] that Chris has created, with almost every feature an exact copy of [[Wikipedia:Barricade (Transformers)|Barricade]] as he appeared in the ''Transformers'' movie. Like Barricade, the Punislavs all transform into mock police cruisers with a parody of the police motto "To Protect and Serve". There are precisely two differences between Barricade and a Punislav, the first being that Barricade is black and white while the Punislavs are brown and gray, and second being that while Barricade has the far more menacing "To Punish and Enslave" description on the side, Chris's one track mind came up with "[[Love Quest|To Shatter and Torture All Hearts]]" instead.

While the S.A.V.s and possibly the Crackders too were both unmanned pilot-free mechs, built to fight both on the ground and in the air, the Punislavs in the comic appeared to have the primary purpose of transporting [[Jerkops]] around [[CWCville]] in large numbers so that they could get to different parts of the battle quicker. While quite often seen in vehicle mode, some were seen in robot mode too, though whether they were still piloted in that form is never made clear. In their robot forms, they depend on their sharp claws, fast speed, and quick reflexes to fight.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140829070110/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punislav old CWCki Punislav]</ref>

The name "Punislav" is said to have come from Chris wanting to call the robot a Punislave, (from Barricade's inscription), but he decided to change it at the last minute to avoid accusations of [[racism]], given that it was a [[niggo|brown car]] being referred to as a slave. However, the "-slav" suffix implies that the character has [[Molvanîa|Slavic]] origins instead.

In the comics, Punislavs only ever appeared ''Sonichu #9''. Much like the S.A.V.s before them, they appeared in great numbers throughout the issue. A few were seen in the forest early on, with at least one destroyed by [[Simonla]] after causing it to crash into a tree in vehicle mode. [[Reginald Sneasel]] destroyed two more shortly afterward at Angelica's church. Another two showed up in downtown CWCville destroying a building, both of which were destroyed by [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], and a further two are killed by [[Prower]] and [[Bumble-Lumba]]. The biggest role they play however is in Chris's comic adaptation of [[Sonichu Fan Promo]], in which it is a Punislav who captured Rosechu and takes her away, transforming into vehicle mode and driving away with her in the backseat. This particular Punislav is followed by Sonichu to CWCville Park, where it turns out to be under the control of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]], who use the captured Rosechu held unconscious in the Punislav's arms as a ransom, demanding Sonichu hand over control of the city to them. The Punislav is destroyed, however, and Rosechu is saved. All the Punislavs are assumed to have been destroyed and recycled by the army following Magi-Chan's claim towards the end of the issue. After this, they are never seen again.

In [[January 2025]], Chris published to YouTube a video on his customized figure of Punislav, a part of his made-up line of figures [[Transformers Legacy United Merged]].<ref>[[Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First]]</ref> In it, Chris shows his box art which contains the bio:<ref>[[:File:Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First 83ebXzBmoWQ.webm00001.jpg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|The longest surviving Punislav from the bunch of Punislavs made by [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] of PVCCitizens. This one Punislav stood the greatest of endurance amidst the number of battles against the Sonichus and Rosechus of Cweville, as well as [[Chris Chan Sonichu]], herself. This one got upgraded by [[Megatron]] and his dark leader boss, [[Gwen Mikoto|Gwenmi Mikoto]]. Punislav, here, is like an old man compared to his two partners. Cracker and S A V. (the Firsts), but he still has the villainous rush to destroy with the old, yet outdated, ideal of making true love illegal. He's so stuck in old times like that}}

==Gallery of plagiarism==
<center><gallery>
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg|Crackder = Cybertron [[Wikipedia:Thundercracker|Thundercracker]]
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg|S.A.V. = Animated [[Wikipedia:Swindle (Transformers)|Swindle]]
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg|Punislav = movie [[Wikipedia:Barricade (Transformers)|Barricade]]
File:Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First 83ebXzBmoWQ.webm00001.jpg|Box art for Punislav
</gallery></center>

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Transformers]]
*[[Samurai Pizza Bots]]
*[[Son-Chu]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Transformers}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Transformers]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Decepti-Clones

2026-09-30T22:58:21Z

WarnerBro: /* S.A.V.s (Scoundrals As Vessels) */

The '''Decepti-Clones''' are a line of evil robots in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]] which work for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Created by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and her minions for use in battle, the Decepti-Clones come in three variants with different purposes, all based on actual Decepticons from the various ''[[Transformers]]'' animated series, movies and comics. The very first of these was the Crackder, which appeared all the way back in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. However, in this model's first appearance, there was only one Crackder, and he was described as a "[[Transformer|Change-Bot]]" rather than a transformer. Crackder would later reappear as a mass-produced robot and backed up by two other Decepti-Clone models.

Conceptually, the Decepti-Clone army originated from the ''Transformers'' video game for PS2, which featured many weak, mass-produced enemies like the Decepti-Clones which could be killed in droves by the player character so as to reserve actual Decepticons for boss encounters. In essence, they were to the Decepticons what the [[Jerkops]] are to the [[Manajerks]]. Their spiritual successors in ''Sonichu'' serve much the same purpose.

== S.A.V.s (Scoundrals As Vessels) ==
[[Image:SAVBot.jpg|thumb|Not the [[Bionic the Hedgehog|gayest of Chris's creations]], but the colors don't help.]]

The S.A.V.s ('''Scoundrals As Vessels''', spelling later corrected to '''Scoundrels As Vessels''') were the most prominently featured of Chris's Decepti-Clones, despite not being the first he created. Their purpose was simple: They were unmanned robots and came in large numbers, which meant that Chris's characters could destroy hundreds of them at a time and not have to worry about actually killing anyone. Unlike with a [[Jerkop]], a giant robot can be sliced in half or blown up, and no one will think anything of it, even if the robot is sentient. Also, it goes without saying that fighting robots is infinitely cooler than fighting mall cops.

The S.A.V.s themselves transformed into armored S.U.V.s, hence the name, with large cannons mounted on top. They were said to act much like tanks in battle. They were slow and heavy, and Chris claimed among other things that an S.A.V. stomping could be heard and felt from ten miles away, and that a hit by a blast from their cannons was equivalent to an impact from "Class 5 Meteor".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150323064309/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Scoundrals_As_Vessels old CWCki S.A.V.]</ref>

Their design is based on that of [[Wikipedia:Swindle (Transformers)|Swindle]] from [[Wikipedia: Transformers Animated|''Transformers Animated'']]. The name is also most likely based on the Transformers Animated episode "SUV: Society of Ultimate Villainy", the episode in which that continuity's iteration of Swindle was introduced.

They appeared for the first and last time in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], where they almost outnumbered the Jerkops in their sheer numbers. [[Sonichu]], [[Blake]], [[Bubbles]], [[Armoraxe]] and [[Reginald Sneasel]] are all seen killing S.A.V.s at various points in the comic, with Sonichu destroying an S.A.V. as part of the [[Sonichu Fan Promo]] adaptation and Blake also killing an S.A.V. with a crown who seemed to be a squad leader.

Towards the end of the comic, [[Magi-Chan]] sends a psychic message to Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] to tell them of the state of [[CWCville]] and the ongoing battle. In a long textwall, Magi-Chan mentions in passing that the entirety of Mary's Decepti-Clone army had been destroyed, and that [[Son-Chu]] and [[Samurai Pizza Bots|Excelina]] had already gathered up the parts and shipped them off to an army base to be [[Recycling|recycled]]. The S.A.V.s are never seen again.

== Crackders ==
[[Image:CrackderBot.jpg|thumb|left|Behold, [[Wes Iseli|one]] [[Bagget|of]] [[W-M Manajerk|many]] [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|foes]] who has no problem beating Chris and yet does not kill him.]]

The Crackder was one of the first Decepti-Clones to appear in ''Sonichu'', having first been called upon in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']] by [[Bagget]] to defeat Chris at the [[Get-Tar Region]]. Though Chris tried to defeat the Crackder, it easily won by tripping him up and causing his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form to deactivate. Jerkops were then able to handcuff him while Crackder picked him up and dropped him from a high height, just because he deserved that little extra bit of humiliation. Crackder then transformed into a fighter jet (based on the Soviet ''[[wikipedia: Sukhoi Su-35|Su-35]]'') to take Bagget, [[Jerkhief]] and Chris back to PVCC headquarters, and was then not seen again until much later in the series.

Crackder, while similar in nature to [[Wikipedia:Starscream|Starscream]], was actually a ripoff of a different Decepticon named [[Wikipedia:Thundercracker|Thundercracker]], specifically the [[Wikipedia:Transformers: Cybertron|''Transformers: Cybertron'']] version of him. This is even alluded to in the dialogue, as Bagget at one point claims that Crackder was made from parts imported from Cybertron, which in-universe is the home planet of the Transformers and the namesake of the series.

There were many differences between Crackder in his two appearances. As was mentioned above, in his original appearance Crackder was referred to as a "Change-Bot" rather than explicitly as a transformer, and there was originally only one of him. By the time of his next appearance in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] however, his status was upgraded to an official Transformer, (or to a Decepti-Clone at least), he was mass-produced, he was backed up by two other Decepti-Clone variants, and he seemed to have undergone a dramatic decrease in both power and ability, as in his original appearance, the lone Crackder was able to take down Chris in his super form single-handedly, whilst by the time of ''Sonichu #9'' [[Angelica]] was able to destroy four of them by herself in less than two pages, meaning that either the mass-produced Crackders were a lot weaker than the original, or Chris was just a useless pussy.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], Crackders are primarily armed with long-range Guided Missiles in their jet form, and a massive Arm Cannon in robot form. They are described as the quickest of the Decepti-Clone variants, as well as the "most deadly and cunning".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140829070102/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Crackder old CWCki Crackder]</ref>

When the Crackder reappeared in ''Sonichu #9'' as a mass produced model, it served as the Jerkop's aerial offensive on CWCville. While the S.A.V.s were unpiloted mechs which drove on the ground and the Punislavs were [[Jerkop]]-driven [[Son-Chu|cars]] in vehicle mode, Crackder still transforms into a jet fighter, and in fact, is only ever seen in this form in the issue. Whether or not they are still piloted is never made clear, but if they were, then [[Chaotic Combo|our heroes]] are most certainly guilty of murder now. Throughout the issue, a grand total of nine of them appear. Five of them attack [[Angelica Rosechu]]'s church early in the issue and are all destroyed, [[Excelina]] shoots down one, and another three are seen flying over the shielded [[CWCville Mall]], possibly trying to bomb it given the state of it later in the issue. [[Magi-Chan]] takes down at least one of them, and also has a psychic battle with [[Silvana Rosechu]] on top of another. As stated above, by the end of the issue, Magi-Chan claims that all the Decepti-Clones were destroyed and the parts were sent off to army bases to be recycled, so it is assumed that he destroyed the other two as well.

== Punislavs ==
[[Image:PunislavBot.jpg|thumb|Punislavs would be a lot more menacing if they didn't look like big logs of shit on wheels when in vehicle mode.]]

The Jerkop Punislav (Джэркоп Пунислав) was the final model of the Decepti-Clones used by the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. Punislav is one of the most obvious ripoffs that Chris has created, with almost every feature an exact copy of [[Wikipedia:Barricade (Transformers)|Barricade]] as he appeared in the ''Transformers'' movie. Like Barricade, the Punislavs all transform into mock police cruisers with a parody of the police motto "To Protect and Serve". There are precisely two differences between Barricade and a Punislav, the first being that Barricade is black and white while the Punislavs are brown and gray, and second being that while Barricade has the far more menacing "To Punish and Enslave" description on the side, Chris's one track mind came up with "[[Love Quest|To Shatter and Torture All Hearts]]" instead.

While the S.A.V.s and possibly the Crackders too were both unmanned pilot-free mechs, built to fight both on the ground and in the air, the Punislavs in the comic appeared to have the primary purpose of transporting [[Jerkops]] around [[CWCville]] in large numbers so that they could get to different parts of the battle quicker. While quite often seen in vehicle mode, some were seen in robot mode too, though whether they were still piloted in that form is never made clear. In their robot forms, they depend on their sharp claws, fast speed, and quick reflexes to fight.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140829070110/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punislav old CWCki Punislav]</ref>

The name "Punislav" is said to have come from Chris wanting to call the robot a Punislave, (from Barricade's inscription), but he decided to change it at the last minute to avoid accusations of [[racism]], given that it was a [[niggo|brown car]] being referred to as a slave. However, the "-slav" suffix implies that the character has [[Molvanîa|Slavic]] origins instead.

In the comics, Punislavs only ever appeared ''Sonichu #9''. Much like the S.A.V.s before them, they appeared in great numbers throughout the issue. A few were seen in the forest early on, with at least one destroyed by [[Simonla]] after causing it to crash into a tree in vehicle mode. [[Reginald Sneasel]] destroyed two more shortly afterward at Angelica's church. Another two showed up in downtown CWCville destroying a building, both of which were destroyed by [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], and a further two are killed by [[Prower]] and [[Bumble-Lumba]]. The biggest role they play however is in Chris's comic adaptation of [[Sonichu Fan Promo]], in which it is a Punislav who captured Rosechu and takes her away, transforming into vehicle mode and driving away with her in the backseat. This particular Punislav is followed by Sonichu to CWCville Park, where it turns out to be under the control of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]], who use the captured Rosechu held unconscious in the Punislav's arms as a ransom, demanding Sonichu hand over control of the city to them. The Punislav is destroyed, however, and Rosechu is saved. All the Punislavs are assumed to have been destroyed and recycled by the army following Magi-Chan's claim towards the end of the issue. After this, they are never seen again.

In [[January 2025]], Chris published to YouTube a video on his customized figure of Punislav, a part of his made-up line of figures [[Transformers Legacy United Merged]].<ref>[[Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First]]</ref> In it, Chris shows his box art which contains the bio:<ref>[[:File:Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First 83ebXzBmoWQ.webm00001.jpg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|The longest surviving Punislav from the bunch of Punislavs made by [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] of PVCCitizens. This one Punislav stood the greatest of endurance amidst the number of battles against the Sonichus and Rosechus of Cweville, as well as [[Chris Chan Sonichu]], herself. This one got upgraded by [[Megatron]] and his dark leader boss, [[Gwen Mikoto|Gwenmi Mikoto]]. Punislav, here, is like an old man compared to his two partners. Cracker and S A V. (the Firsts), but he still has the villainous rush to destroy with the old, yet outdated, ideal of making true love illegal. He's so stuck in old times like that}}

==Gallery of plagiarism==
<center><gallery>
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg|Crackder = Cybertron [[Wikipedia:Thundercracker|Thundercracker]]
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg|S.A.V. = Animated [[Wikipedia:Swindle (Transformers)|Swindle]]
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg|Punislav = movie [[Wikipedia:Barricade (Transformers)|Barricade]]
File:Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Punislav the First 83ebXzBmoWQ.webm00001.jpg|Box art for Punislav
</gallery></center>

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Transformers]]
*[[Samurai Pizza Bots]]
*[[Son-Chu]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Transformers}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Transformers]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Kick the Autistic

2026-09-28T18:53:01Z

WarnerBro:

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]
[[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST [[Megan Schroeder|MEGAN]] AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC [[Virgin with rage|25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN]], HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!"|Chris, coining the phrase [[Chris and contests|after taking a loss in a contest pretty well]].}}
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, every year. Available on the Wii...]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is a phrase first coined by [[Chris]] when he complained about not receiving preferential treatment for having [[autism]], shortly after he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. Soon the phrase developed into a game that consists of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. He alleges it is America's favorite, owing to the frequency of his [[trolls|antagonists]] (perceived and real) playing it.

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|...and on the [[Car pranks|blatantly-stupid]] [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and below are the most noteworthy.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a [[Chris and contests|competition]] of artistry where Chris is also competing, and [[Honor roll|beat him]]. This is generally easily done by showing any sort of competence. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good]] [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and print your picture out to shoot at]], beat you up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]'', or make a [[Magical thinking#Voodooism|Lego voodoo doll]] out of you.

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]], and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you [[Honest Content|discuss freely]] on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people as well as those with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's Syndrome]] (which he hates) a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]] Style===
Prevent Chris from pursuing his [[Love Quest]] by tearing his [[Attraction Sign|attraction signs]] down from the corridors of his college, and telling him that this is not a proper way of finding a girlfriend. If he continues, have a meeting with him further forcing him to stop. If he ''still'' continues, suspend him from college for a year.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Pretend to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Take the time to befriend Chris until he trusts you. Once that happens, get him to send you horrific [[Nudes|n00dz]] and [[Medallions|something of value to him]], then share the former and record yourself destroying the latter.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's own plagiarized comics. Chris is [[Chris and hypocrisy|very defensive]] about the material which he has [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarized]], and he will throw a fit and take [[Chris and the law|legal action]] against you "if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Pretend to befriend Chris, known for being of the completely clueless type and willing to trust anyone who claims to have a [[china]]. Then, when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something amusing. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him [[recycling]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[Kiwi Farms]], and sit back as you watch them get their lulz.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Go to [[Virginia]] and somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a [[pickle]] costume. He will be bewildered by it, and be too powerless to act. Bonus points if you go to him while he's with [[Emily|another girl]], and you can manage to [[Date with Emily|steal his date]] in the process.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid]]. Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rape]] a woman to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for clouding up [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement]]. As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity...or reincarnated as a pickle; whichever. The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours. Bonus points if you purchase ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect.

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Give Chris [[List of places that have banned Chris|the banhammer]], thus preventing him from going to [[The GAMe PLACe|his favorite establishment]], for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[Chris and religion|God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville, VA]] whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], [[Mal-Wart|vandalizes store displays]], [[Affair with Mother|incest]] or [[26 December 2014|macing GameStop employees]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets his home ablaze]].

===[[Gal pal|Gal Pal]] Style===
Reveal that [[Kellie Andes|you]] were [[Gal pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]]. Then, when Chris [[Chris and anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into laughter by linking to one of [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him. Then, when the [[Catherine]] saga is coming to a close, reveal yourself as the fabricating troll mastermind behind both the admitting of befriending Chris out of pity, and the saga itself.

===[[Sega]] Style===
Push your biggest fan's buttons by changing the arm color of your main hero from tan to blue. Watch [[Sonic Boom Protests|the hilarity]] [[26 December 2014|ensue.]]

===[[Financhu Crisis]] Style===
Grant the Chandlers another mortgage on [[14 Branchland Court]], so they can have more spending money for their hoards, then [[stress]] them out by holding them to a payment plan.

===[[Pmurt]] Style===
Gradually work your way up in life to become a billionaire, and eventually the President of the United States. Watch as Chris films himself [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|threatening death on you by smashing his own toys]].

===[[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] Style===
Be a voice actress/artist who Chris orbits on Twitter. Accept his money to draw art commissions for him, then take cover as [[weens]] make fake pledges on your Patreon while Chris begins calling you "darling" and spamming your business email. Finally, call him out in public for being creepy and spending beyond his means, then step back as Chris tries to win you over by painting a bulls-eye on himself and telling everyone to [[HarassCWCdirectly]]. For bonus points, join the [[Kiwi Farms|trolls' internet forum]] and [[Doopie E-mails|leak the emails he had sent to you]]. Afterwards, have Chris talk with one of your [[LadyOfTheCosmo|best friends]], and have them start a flame war. If done right, have her [[A-Log]] Chris throughout all of her posts for him displaying the same creepy behavior towards her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Quinn]] Style===
Be one of Chris' Facebook friends over a span of years and latch onto him when he's desperate for a girlfriend. As soon as you see him stalking a [[DoopieDoOver|voice actress]] on LazyCast, break up with him, wait for him to film himself crying about it, and then get back together with him. Be sure to goad him into making a rage video cursing [[Kiwi Farms]] trolls by completely ending the relationship one day before you were set to meet in real life and saying that they had hacked your Facebook as the reason.

===[[Idea Guy]] Style===
When you notice Chris's [[Chris and reality|detachment from reality]] and [[Autism|his gullibility]], take advantage of both to troll him. First, make up stories about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|the various happenings]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|his creation]], and then inform Chris about them. Afterward, tell Chris to do a number of ridiculous tasks that you know will fly over his head, whether it be telling him to write "I have a penis" in Japanese, whilst making him think it's his signature, or forcing him to do the ''S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'' chant, whilst making him think it's an [[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] Cherokean chant. Chris's response to such coercion will vary, so use it wisely. This style is bound to work if you inform him that Rosechu has a pickle, though. As an alternative, you can go the extra mile, and do some of the most deranged stuff any player of the game has commited, whether it be telling him to [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] on the floor, or telling him to physically beat both himself and his mother.

===[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter#Blocks Twitter] Style===
Message and harass the Twitter accounts that Chris follows with large amounts of embarrassing information about him in order to get Chris [[Twitter blocks from TF2 Analysis crew|blocked]] from viewing those accounts.

===[[ProjectSNT]] Style===
Redesign some of Chris's characters and [[Stress|watch his mind completely break because he doesn't like a certain design element.]]

===[[Jacob Sockness|Sockness]] Style===
Hijack Chris' delusions and tell him that he has to have sex with you in order for them to come true. Spend thousands of dollars for the opportunity to get access to Chris, only for him to epically shut you down.

===[[Weens|Trollshielding]] Style===
[[File:ChrisKicksHirtes.png|thumb|How to lose the game spectacularly]]

If you have [[weening|no creativity]] or aren't skilled enough to execute the above versions of play properly, but you want to use Chris's tard rage [[a-logging|to cover up your lulzyness]], you may want to use this variation of the game as a last resort. You'll see why this is a very bad idea as soon as you've read the instructions. First, you'll either want to [[Michael Hirtes|create close to ten Twitter sockpuppet accounts to spam and flame Chris with]], or [[A-log|create a YouTube channel solely dedicated to subpar commentaries on his older videos]]. Once you've farmed enough content, share your hard work and effort to get as many desperate upvotes and views as possible. If somebody figures out your shenanigans, do not fret. Just try to cover it up in a half-assed fashion, even if you stupidly include your own profile pic in one of the screenshots you sent to the [[Kiwi Farms]]. Even after you've been called out on your bullshit, simply continue attacking Chris on your preferred platform every time he posts new content, usually with some dead meme that anyone else would find cringy or by telling the rest of the world how horrible Chris is compared to you. All and all, you should never try to play the game this way, as you are always going to lose regardless of how you try to execute it. Chris will never respond to your unfunny commentaries let alone rage over them. Plus, all of your desperate trollshielding and spamming will only lead you to being mocked even more. Double Dumbass points if it is Chris who ends up kicking you instead.

===[[Hasbro]] Style===
Conclude his [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|favorite TV show]] and replace it with [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|something else]]. Then [[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5|make a presentation]] showing off the new show to the [[Russia]]n market. Sit back and enjoy.

===Literally===
Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: the teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (allegedly), [[Jerkop]]s (probably exaggerated), [[Chris and Race#Black_people|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost), and the staff at [[Western State Hospital]] (allegedly).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of; no broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no evidence of him ever being grounded, or punished in any significant way – even after being [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]! The only citation provided by Chris of physical pain whatsoever is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller-skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]]), he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. On [[28 October 2011]] and [[26 December 2014]], respectively, Chris committed crimes which could have seen him end up in jail, where inmates don't take kindly to [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums]]. [[Jail Saga|When it finally happened]], Chris was given solitary confinement, which helped him avoid any further attempts at being a part of this game.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January|21 January 2008]], Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"'' in an attempt to get them to back off.
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Former [[Video games|Nintendo of America]] president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major [[Nintendo]] consoles in time for [[Christmas]].
*[[Trolls]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Pin the Autistic]] – The prequel to America's favorite game.
*[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban the Autistic]] – The spin-off to America's favorite game.
*[[TF2 Analysis|Block the Autistic]] – The hit sequel to America's favorite game.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Kick the Autistic

2026-09-28T18:49:57Z

WarnerBro:

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]
[[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST [[Megan Schroeder|MEGAN]] AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC [[Virgin with rage|25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN]], HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!"|Chris, coining the phrase [[Chris and contests|after taking a loss in a contest pretty well]].}}
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, every year. Available on the Wii...]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is a phrase first coined by [[Chris]] when he complained about not receiving preferential treatment for having [[autism]], shortly after he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. Soon the phrase developed into a game that consists of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. He alleges it is America's favorite, owing to the frequency of his [[trolls|antagonists]] (perceived and real) playing it.

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|...and on the [[Car pranks|blatantly-stupid]] [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and below are the most noteworthy.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a [[Chris and contests|competition]] of artistry where Chris is also competing, and [[Honor roll|beat him]]. This is generally easily done by showing any sort of competence. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good]] [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and print your picture out to shoot at]], beat you up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]'', or make a [[Magical thinking#Voodooism|Lego voodoo doll]] out of you.

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]], and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you [[Honest Content|discuss freely]] on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people as well as those with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's Syndrome]] (which he hates) a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]] Style===
Prevent Chris from pursuing his [[Love Quest]] by tearing his [[attraction sign]]s down from the corridors of his college, and telling him that this is not a proper way of finding a girlfriend. If he continues, have a meeting with him further forcing him to stop. If he ''still'' continues, suspend him from college for a year.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Pretend to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Take the time to befriend Chris until he trusts you. Once that happens, get him to send you horrific [[Nudes|n00dz]] and [[Medallions|something of value to him]], then share the former and record yourself destroying the latter.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's own plagiarized comics. Chris is [[Chris and hypocrisy|very defensive]] about the material which he has [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarized]], and he will throw a fit and take [[Chris and the law|legal action]] against you "if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Pretend to befriend Chris, known for being of the completely clueless type and willing to trust anyone who claims to have a [[china]]. Then, when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something amusing. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him [[recycling]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[Kiwi Farms]], and sit back as you watch them get their lulz.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Go to [[Virginia]] and somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a [[pickle]] costume. He will be bewildered by it, and be too powerless to act. Bonus points if you go to him while he's with [[Emily|another girl]], and you can manage to [[Date with Emily|steal his date]] in the process.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid]]. Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rape]] a woman to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for clouding up [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement]]. As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity...or reincarnated as a pickle; whichever. The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours. Bonus points if you purchase ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect.

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Give Chris [[List of places that have banned Chris|the banhammer]], thus preventing him from going to [[The GAMe PLACe|his favorite establishment]], for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[Chris and religion|God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville, VA]] whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], [[Mal-Wart|vandalizes store displays]], [[Affair with Mother|incest]] or [[26 December 2014|macing GameStop employees]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets his home ablaze]].

===[[Gal pal|Gal Pal]] Style===
Reveal that [[Kellie Andes|you]] were [[Gal pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]]. Then, when Chris [[Chris and anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into laughter by linking to one of [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him. Then, when the [[Catherine]] saga is coming to a close, reveal yourself as the fabricating troll mastermind behind both the admitting of befriending Chris out of pity, and the saga itself.

===[[Sega]] Style===
Push your biggest fan's buttons by changing the arm color of your main hero from tan to blue. Watch [[Sonic Boom Protests|the hilarity]] [[26 December 2014|ensue.]]

===[[Financhu Crisis]] Style===
Grant the Chandlers another mortgage on [[14 Branchland Court]], so they can have more spending money for their hoards, then [[stress]] them out by holding them to a payment plan.

===[[Pmurt]] Style===
Gradually work your way up in life to become a billionaire, and eventually the President of the United States. Watch as Chris films himself [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|threatening death on you by smashing his own toys]].

===[[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] Style===
Be a voice actress/artist who Chris orbits on Twitter. Accept his money to draw art commissions for him, then take cover as [[weens]] make fake pledges on your Patreon while Chris begins calling you "darling" and spamming your business email. Finally, call him out in public for being creepy and spending beyond his means, then step back as Chris tries to win you over by painting a bulls-eye on himself and telling everyone to [[HarassCWCdirectly]]. For bonus points, join the [[Kiwi Farms|trolls' internet forum]] and [[Doopie E-mails|leak the emails he had sent to you]]. Afterwards, have Chris talk with one of your [[LadyOfTheCosmo|best friends]], and have them start a flame war. If done right, have her [[A-Log]] Chris throughout all of her posts for him displaying the same creepy behavior towards her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Quinn]] Style===
Be one of Chris' Facebook friends over a span of years and latch onto him when he's desperate for a girlfriend. As soon as you see him stalking a [[DoopieDoOver|voice actress]] on LazyCast, break up with him, wait for him to film himself crying about it, and then get back together with him. Be sure to goad him into making a rage video cursing [[Kiwi Farms]] trolls by completely ending the relationship one day before you were set to meet in real life and saying that they had hacked your Facebook as the reason.

===[[Idea Guy]] Style===
When you notice Chris's [[Chris and reality|detachment from reality]] and [[Autism|his gullibility]], take advantage of both to troll him. First, make up stories about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|the various happenings]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|his creation]], and then inform Chris about them. Afterward, tell Chris to do a number of ridiculous tasks that you know will fly over his head, whether it be telling him to write "I have a penis" in Japanese, whilst making him think it's his signature, or forcing him to do the ''S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'' chant, whilst making him think it's an [[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] Cherokean chant. Chris's response to such coercion will vary, so use it wisely. This style is bound to work if you inform him that Rosechu has a pickle, though. As an alternative, you can go the extra mile, and do some of the most deranged stuff any player of the game has commited, whether it be telling him to [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] on the floor, or telling him to physically beat both himself and his mother.

===[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter#Blocks Twitter] Style===
Message and harass the Twitter accounts that Chris follows with large amounts of embarrassing information about him in order to get Chris [[Twitter blocks from TF2 Analysis crew|blocked]] from viewing those accounts.

===[[ProjectSNT]] Style===
Redesign some of Chris's characters and [[Stress|watch his mind completely break because he doesn't like a certain design element.]]

===[[Jacob Sockness|Sockness]] Style===
Hijack Chris' delusions and tell him that he has to have sex with you in order for them to come true. Spend thousands of dollars for the opportunity to get access to Chris, only for him to epically shut you down.

===[[Weens|Trollshielding]] Style===
[[File:ChrisKicksHirtes.png|thumb|How to lose the game spectacularly]]

If you have [[weening|no creativity]] or aren't skilled enough to execute the above versions of play properly, but you want to use Chris's tard rage [[a-logging|to cover up your lulzyness]], you may want to use this variation of the game as a last resort. You'll see why this is a very bad idea as soon as you've read the instructions. First, you'll either want to [[Michael Hirtes|create close to ten Twitter sockpuppet accounts to spam and flame Chris with]], or [[A-log|create a YouTube channel solely dedicated to subpar commentaries on his older videos]]. Once you've farmed enough content, share your hard work and effort to get as many desperate upvotes and views as possible. If somebody figures out your shenanigans, do not fret. Just try to cover it up in a half-assed fashion, even if you stupidly include your own profile pic in one of the screenshots you sent to the [[Kiwi Farms]]. Even after you've been called out on your bullshit, simply continue attacking Chris on your preferred platform every time he posts new content, usually with some dead meme that anyone else would find cringy or by telling the rest of the world how horrible Chris is compared to you. All and all, you should never try to play the game this way, as you are always going to lose regardless of how you try to execute it. Chris will never respond to your unfunny commentaries let alone rage over them. Plus, all of your desperate trollshielding and spamming will only lead you to being mocked even more. Double Dumbass points if it is Chris who ends up kicking you instead.

===[[Hasbro]] Style===
Conclude his [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|favorite TV show]] and replace it with [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|something else]]. Then [[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5|make a presentation]] showing off the new show to the [[Russia]]n market. Sit back and enjoy.

===Literally===
Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: the teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (allegedly), [[Jerkop]]s (probably exaggerated), [[Chris and Race#Black_people|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost), and the staff at [[Western State Hospital]] (allegedly).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of; no broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no evidence of him ever being grounded, or punished in any significant way – even after being [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]! The only citation provided by Chris of physical pain whatsoever is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller-skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]]), he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. On [[28 October 2011]] and [[26 December 2014]], respectively, Chris committed crimes which could have seen him end up in jail, where inmates don't take kindly to [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums]]. [[Jail Saga|When it finally happened]], Chris was given solitary confinement, which helped him avoid any further attempts at being a part of this game.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January|21 January 2008]], Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"'' in an attempt to get them to back off.
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Former [[Video games|Nintendo of America]] president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major [[Nintendo]] consoles in time for [[Christmas]].
*[[Trolls]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Pin the Autistic]] – The prequel to America's favorite game.
*[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban the Autistic]] – The spin-off to America's favorite game.
*[[TF2 Analysis|Block the Autistic]] – The hit sequel to America's favorite game.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Kick the Autistic

2026-09-27T03:10:38Z

WarnerBro:

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]
[[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST [[Megan Schroeder|MEGAN]] AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC [[Virgin with rage|25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN]], HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!"|Chris, coining the phrase [[Chris and contests|after taking a loss in a contest pretty well]].}}
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, every year. Available on the Wii...]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is a phrase first coined by [[Chris]] when he complained about not receiving preferential treatment for having [[autism]], shortly after he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. Soon the phrase developed into a game that consists of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. He alleges it is America's favorite, owing to the frequency of his [[trolls|antagonists]] (perceived and real) playing it.

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|...and on the [[Car pranks|blatantly-stupid]] [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and below are the most noteworthy.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a [[Chris_and_contests|competition]] of artistry where Chris is also competing, and [[Honor roll|beat him]]. This is generally easily done by showing any sort of competence. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good]] [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and print your picture out to shoot at]], beat you up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]'', or make a [[Magical thinking#Voodooism|Lego voodoo doll]] out of you.

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]], and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you [[Honest Content|discuss freely]] on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people as well as those with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's Syndrome]] (which he hates) a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]] Style===
Prevent Chris from pursuing his [[Love Quest]] by tearing his [[attraction sign]]s down from the corridors of his college, and telling him that this is not a proper way of finding a girlfriend. If he continues, have a meeting with him further forcing him to stop. If he ''still'' continues, suspend him from college for a year.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Pretend to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Take the time to befriend Chris until he trusts you. Once that happens, get him to send you horrific [[Nudes|n00dz]] and [[Medallions|something of value to him]], then share the former and record yourself destroying the latter.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's own plagiarized comics. Chris is [[Chris and hypocrisy|very defensive]] about the material which he has [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarized]], and he will throw a fit and take [[Chris and the law|legal action]] against you "if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Pretend to befriend Chris, known for being of the completely clueless type and willing to trust anyone who claims to have a [[china]]. Then, when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something amusing. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him [[recycling]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[Kiwi Farms]], and sit back as you watch them get their lulz.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Go to [[Virginia]] and somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a [[pickle]] costume. He will be bewildered by it, and be too powerless to act. Bonus points if you go to him while he's with [[Emily|another girl]], and you can manage to [[Date with Emily|steal his date]] in the process.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid]]. Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rape]] a woman to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for clouding up [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement]]. As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity...or reincarnated as a pickle; whichever. The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours. Bonus points if you purchase ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect.

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Give Chris [[List of places that have banned Chris|the banhammer]], thus preventing him from going to [[The GAMe PLACe|his favorite establishment]], for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[Chris and religion|God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville, VA]] whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], [[Mal-Wart|vandalizes store displays]], [[Affair with Mother|incest]] or [[26 December 2014|macing GameStop employees]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets his home ablaze]].

===[[Gal pal|Gal Pal]] Style===
Reveal that [[Kellie Andes|you]] were [[Gal pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]]. Then, when Chris [[Chris and anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into laughter by linking to one of [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him. Then, when the [[Catherine]] saga is coming to a close, reveal yourself as the fabricating troll mastermind behind both the admitting of befriending Chris out of pity, and the saga itself.

===[[Sega]] Style===
Push your biggest fan's buttons by changing the arm color of your main hero from tan to blue. Watch [[Sonic Boom Protests|the hilarity]] [[26 December 2014|ensue.]]

===[[Financhu Crisis]] Style===
Grant the Chandlers another mortgage on [[14 Branchland Court]], so they can have more spending money for their hoards, then [[stress]] them out by holding them to a payment plan.

===[[Pmurt]] Style===
Gradually work your way up in life to become a billionaire, and eventually the President of the United States. Watch as Chris films himself [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|threatening death on you by smashing his own toys]].

===[[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] Style===
Be a voice actress/artist who Chris orbits on Twitter. Accept his money to draw art commissions for him, then take cover as [[weens]] make fake pledges on your Patreon while Chris begins calling you "darling" and spamming your business email. Finally, call him out in public for being creepy and spending beyond his means, then step back as Chris tries to win you over by painting a bulls-eye on himself and telling everyone to [[HarassCWCdirectly]]. For bonus points, join the [[Kiwi Farms|trolls' internet forum]] and [[Doopie E-mails|leak the emails he had sent to you]]. Afterwards, have Chris talk with one of your [[LadyOfTheCosmo|best friends]], and have them start a flame war. If done right, have her [[A-Log]] Chris throughout all of her posts for him displaying the same creepy behavior towards her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Quinn]] Style===
Be one of Chris' Facebook friends over a span of years and latch onto him when he's desperate for a girlfriend. As soon as you see him stalking a [[DoopieDoOver|voice actress]] on LazyCast, break up with him, wait for him to film himself crying about it, and then get back together with him. Be sure to goad him into making a rage video cursing [[Kiwi Farms]] trolls by completely ending the relationship one day before you were set to meet in real life and saying that they had hacked your Facebook as the reason.

===[[Idea Guy]] Style===
When you notice Chris's [[Chris and reality|detachment from reality]] and [[Autism|his gullibility]], take advantage of both to troll him. First, make up stories about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|the various happenings]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|his creation]], and then inform Chris about them. Afterward, tell Chris to do a number of ridiculous tasks that you know will fly over his head, whether it be telling him to write "I have a penis" in Japanese, whilst making him think it's his signature, or forcing him to do the ''S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'' chant, whilst making him think it's an [[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] Cherokean chant. Chris's response to such coercion will vary, so use it wisely. This style is bound to work if you inform him that Rosechu has a pickle, though. As an alternative, you can go the extra mile, and do some of the most deranged stuff any player of the game has commited, whether it be telling him to [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] on the floor, or telling him to physically beat both himself and his mother.

===[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter#Blocks Twitter] Style===
Message and harass the Twitter accounts that Chris follows with large amounts of embarrassing information about him in order to get Chris [[Twitter blocks from TF2 Analysis crew|blocked]] from viewing those accounts.

===[[ProjectSNT]] Style===
Redesign some of Chris's characters and [[Stress|watch his mind completely break because he doesn't like a certain design element.]]

===[[Jacob Sockness|Sockness]] Style===
Hijack Chris' delusions and tell him that he has to have sex with you in order for them to come true. Spend thousands of dollars for the opportunity to get access to Chris, only for him to epically shut you down.

===[[Weens|Trollshielding]] Style===
[[File:ChrisKicksHirtes.png|thumb|How to lose the game spectacularly]]

If you have [[weening|no creativity]] or aren't skilled enough to execute the above versions of play properly, but you want to use Chris's tard rage [[a-logging|to cover up your lulzyness]], you may want to use this variation of the game as a last resort. You'll see why this is a very bad idea as soon as you've read the instructions. First, you'll either want to [[Michael Hirtes|create close to ten Twitter sockpuppet accounts to spam and flame Chris with]], or [[A-log|create a YouTube channel solely dedicated to subpar commentaries on his older videos]]. Once you've farmed enough content, share your hard work and effort to get as many desperate upvotes and views as possible. If somebody figures out your shenanigans, do not fret. Just try to cover it up in a half-assed fashion, even if you stupidly include your own profile pic in one of the screenshots you sent to the [[Kiwi Farms]]. Even after you've been called out on your bullshit, simply continue attacking Chris on your preferred platform every time he posts new content, usually with some dead meme that anyone else would find cringy or by telling the rest of the world how horrible Chris is compared to you. All and all, you should never try to play the game this way, as you are always going to lose regardless of how you try to execute it. Chris will never respond to your unfunny commentaries let alone rage over them. Plus, all of your desperate trollshielding and spamming will only lead you to being mocked even more. Double Dumbass points if it is Chris who ends up kicking you instead.

===[[Hasbro]] Style===
Conclude his [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|favorite TV show]] and replace it with [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|something else]]. Then [[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5|make a presentation]] showing off the new show to the [[Russia]]n market. Sit back and enjoy.

===Literally===
Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: the teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (allegedly), [[Jerkop]]s (probably exaggerated), [[Chris and Race#Black_people|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost), and the staff at [[Western State Hospital]] (allegedly).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of; no broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no evidence of him ever being grounded, or punished in any significant way – even after being [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]! The only citation provided by Chris of physical pain whatsoever is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller-skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]]), he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. On [[28 October 2011]] and [[26 December 2014]], respectively, Chris committed crimes which could have seen him end up in jail, where inmates don't take kindly to [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums]]. [[Jail Saga|When it finally happened]], Chris was given solitary confinement, which helped him avoid any further attempts at being a part of this game.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January|21 January 2008]], Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"'' in an attempt to get them to back off.
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Former [[Video games|Nintendo of America]] president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major [[Nintendo]] consoles in time for [[Christmas]].
*[[Trolls]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Pin the Autistic]] – The prequel to America's favorite game.
*[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban the Autistic]] – The spin-off to America's favorite game.
*[[TF2 Analysis|Block the Autistic]] – The hit sequel to America's favorite game.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Kick the Autistic

2026-09-27T03:02:47Z

WarnerBro:

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[[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST [[Megan Schroeder|MEGAN]] AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC [[Virgin with rage|25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN]], HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!"|Chris, coining the phrase [[Chris and contests|after taking a loss in a contest pretty well]].}}
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, every year. Available on the Wii...]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is a phrase first coined by [[Chris]] when he complained about not receiving preferential treatment for having [[autism]], shortly after he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. Soon the phrase developed into a game that consists of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. He alleges it is America's favorite, owing to the frequency of his [[trolls|antagonists]] (perceived and real) playing it.

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|...and on the [[Car pranks|blatantly-stupid]] [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and below are the most noteworthy.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a [[Chris_and_contests|competition]] of artistry where Chris is also competing, and [[Honor roll|beat him]]. This is generally easily done by showing any sort of competence. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good]] [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and print your picture out to shoot at]], beat you up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]'', or make a [[Magical thinking#Voodooism|Lego voodoo doll]] out of you.

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]], and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you [[Honest Content|discuss freely]] on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people as well as those with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's Syndrome]] (which he hates) a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]] Style===
Prevent Chris from pursuing his [[Love Quest]] by tearing his [[attraction sign]]s down from the corridors of his college, and telling him that this is not a proper way of finding a girlfriend. If he continues, have a meeting with him further forcing him to stop. If he ''still'' continues, suspend him from college for a year.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Pretend to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Take the time to befriend Chris until he trusts you. Once that happens, get him to send you horrific [[Nudes|n00dz]] and [[Medallions|something of value to him]], and record yourself destroying it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's own plagiarized comics. Chris is [[Chris and hypocrisy|very defensive]] about the material which he has [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarized]], and he will throw a fit and take [[Chris and the law|legal action]] against you "if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Pretend to befriend Chris, known for being of the completely clueless type and willing to trust anyone who claims to have a [[china]]. Then, when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something amusing. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him [[recycling]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[Kiwi Farms]], and sit back as you watch them get their lulz.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Go to [[Virginia]] and somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a [[pickle]] costume. He will be bewildered by it, and be too powerless to act. Bonus points if you go to him while he's with [[Emily|another girl]], and you can manage to [[Date with Emily|steal his date]] in the process.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid]]. Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rape]] a woman to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for clouding up [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement]]. As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity...or reincarnated as a pickle; whichever. The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend-free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours. Bonus points if you purchase ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect.

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
Give Chris [[List of places that have banned Chris|the banhammer]], thus preventing him from going to [[The GAMe PLACe|his favorite establishment]], for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[Chris and religion|God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville, VA]] whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], [[Mal-Wart|vandalizes store displays]], [[Affair with Mother|incest]] or [[26 December 2014|macing GameStop employees]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets his home ablaze]].

===[[Gal pal|Gal Pal]] Style===
Reveal that [[Kellie Andes|you]] were [[Gal pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]]. Then, when Chris [[Chris and anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into laughter by linking to one of [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him. Then, when the [[Catherine]] saga is coming to a close, reveal yourself as the fabricating troll mastermind behind both the admitting of befriending Chris out of pity, and the saga itself.

===[[Sega]] Style===
Push your biggest fan's buttons by changing the arm color of your main hero from tan to blue. Watch [[Sonic Boom Protests|the hilarity]] [[26 December 2014|ensue.]]

===[[Financhu Crisis]] Style===
Grant the Chandlers another mortgage on [[14 Branchland Court]], so they can have more spending money for their hoards, then [[stress]] them out by holding them to a payment plan.

===[[Pmurt]] Style===
Gradually work your way up in life to become a billionaire, and eventually the President of the United States. Watch as Chris films himself [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|threatening death on you by smashing his own toys]].

===[[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] Style===
Be a voice actress/artist who Chris orbits on Twitter. Accept his money to draw art commissions for him, then take cover as [[weens]] make fake pledges on your Patreon while Chris begins calling you "darling" and spamming your business email. Finally, call him out in public for being creepy and spending beyond his means, then step back as Chris tries to win you over by painting a bulls-eye on himself and telling everyone to [[HarassCWCdirectly]]. For bonus points, join the [[Kiwi Farms|trolls' internet forum]] and [[Doopie E-mails|leak the emails he had sent to you]]. Afterwards, have Chris talk with one of your [[LadyOfTheCosmo|best friends]], and have them start a flame war. If done right, have her [[A-Log]] Chris throughout all of her posts for him displaying the same creepy behavior towards her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Quinn]] Style===
Be one of Chris' Facebook friends over a span of years and latch onto him when he's desperate for a girlfriend. As soon as you see him stalking a [[DoopieDoOver|voice actress]] on LazyCast, break up with him, wait for him to film himself crying about it, and then get back together with him. Be sure to goad him into making a rage video cursing [[Kiwi Farms]] trolls by completely ending the relationship one day before you were set to meet in real life and saying that they had hacked your Facebook as the reason.

===[[Idea Guy]] Style===
When you notice Chris's [[Chris and reality|detachment from reality]] and [[Autism|his gullibility]], take advantage of both to troll him. First, make up stories about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|the various happenings]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|his creation]], and then inform Chris about them. Afterward, tell Chris to do a number of ridiculous tasks that you know will fly over his head, whether it be telling him to write "I have a penis" in Japanese, whilst making him think it's his signature, or forcing him to do the ''S.T.A.L.K.E.R.'' chant, whilst making him think it's an [[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] Cherokean chant. Chris's response to such coercion will vary, so use it wisely. This style is bound to work if you inform him that Rosechu has a pickle, though. As an alternative, you can go the extra mile, and do some of the most deranged stuff any player of the game has commited, whether it be telling him to [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] on the floor, or telling him to physically beat both himself and his mother.

===[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter#Blocks Twitter] Style===
Message and harass the Twitter accounts that Chris follows with large amounts of embarrassing information about him in order to get Chris [[Twitter blocks from TF2 Analysis crew|blocked]] from viewing those accounts.

===[[ProjectSNT]] Style===
Redesign some of Chris's characters and [[Stress|watch his mind completely break because he doesn't like a certain design element.]]

===[[Jacob Sockness|Sockness]] Style===
Hijack Chris' delusions and tell him that he has to have sex with you in order for them to come true. Spend thousands of dollars for the opportunity to get access to Chris, only for him to epically shut you down.

===[[Weens|Trollshielding]] Style===
[[File:ChrisKicksHirtes.png|thumb|How to lose the game spectacularly]]

If you have [[weening|no creativity]] or aren't skilled enough to execute the above versions of play properly, but you want to use Chris's tard rage [[a-logging|to cover up your lulzyness]], you may want to use this variation of the game as a last resort. You'll see why this is a very bad idea as soon as you've read the instructions. First, you'll either want to [[Michael Hirtes|create close to ten Twitter sockpuppet accounts to spam and flame Chris with]], or [[A-log|create a YouTube channel solely dedicated to subpar commentaries on his older videos]]. Once you've farmed enough content, share your hard work and effort to get as many desperate upvotes and views as possible. If somebody figures out your shenanigans, do not fret. Just try to cover it up in a half-assed fashion, even if you stupidly include your own profile pic in one of the screenshots you sent to the [[Kiwi Farms]]. Even after you've been called out on your bullshit, simply continue attacking Chris on your preferred platform every time he posts new content, usually with some dead meme that anyone else would find cringy or by telling the rest of the world how horrible Chris is compared to you. All and all, you should never try to play the game this way, as you are always going to lose regardless of how you try to execute it. Chris will never respond to your unfunny commentaries let alone rage over them. Plus, all of your desperate trollshielding and spamming will only lead you to being mocked even more. Double Dumbass points if it is Chris who ends up kicking you instead.

===[[Hasbro]] Style===
Conclude his [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|favorite TV show]] and replace it with [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|something else]]. Then [[February 2024 social media posts#RussiaIsMLPG5|make a presentation]] showing off the new show to the [[Russia]]n market. Sit back and enjoy.

===Literally===
Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: the teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (allegedly), [[Jerkop]]s (probably exaggerated), [[Chris and Race#Black_people|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost), and the staff at [[Western State Hospital]] (allegedly).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of; no broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no evidence of him ever being grounded, or punished in any significant way – even after being [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]! The only citation provided by Chris of physical pain whatsoever is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller-skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]]), he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. On [[28 October 2011]] and [[26 December 2014]], respectively, Chris committed crimes which could have seen him end up in jail, where inmates don't take kindly to [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums]]. [[Jail Saga|When it finally happened]], Chris was given solitary confinement, which helped him avoid any further attempts at being a part of this game.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]] include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January|21 January 2008]], Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"'' in an attempt to get them to back off.
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Former [[Video games|Nintendo of America]] president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major [[Nintendo]] consoles in time for [[Christmas]].
*[[Trolls]]
*[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Pin the Autistic]] – The prequel to America's favorite game.
*[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban the Autistic]] – The spin-off to America's favorite game.
*[[TF2 Analysis|Block the Autistic]] – The hit sequel to America's favorite game.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

The GAMe PLACe

2026-09-27T03:01:52Z

WarnerBro:

{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris, being oddly prophetic in [[2014 house fire|two ways]]<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}
[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe when in business at 243B Ridge McIntire Rd, Charlottesville, VA.]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]

'''The GAMe PLACe''' (Also known as simply '''The Place''', and later known as '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''' from [[August 2011]] until closure) was a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]], [[video game]], [[Card games|card]], [[Toys|toy]] and [[Tomgirl|hobby]] shop in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]] that originally opened in 1995. It is located about 12 miles away from [[14 Branchland Court]].

From at least [[2002]]<ref group = "note">In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.</ref> up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' [[TCGs]]. The shop hosted the {{w|Play! Pokémon|''Pokémon TCG'' League}}, where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of increasingly disruptive behavior, and repeated warnings from staff, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 6 June 2008. After his permanent [[List of places that have banned Chris|ban]], Chris attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris was forced to keep away from Michael Snyder at all times, which by extension meant that he was permanently banned from the store by law after the judgement, up until its closure, which was reported on in [[June 2014]] (to date the second-longest ban-to-closure period, getting beaten out by [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] shutting its doors in late [[January 2025]]).

The former owner of the GAMe PLACe, Robert Lightburn, is a registered sex offender who was convicted for trying to arrange a liaison with a [[pedofork|policeman posing as a fourteen-year-old girl]].<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150911025700/http://www.readthehook.com/92338/cover-sidebar-risky-business-porn-loving-merchant-does-his-time The Hook article on Robert Lightburn's arrest.]</ref><ref>[[:File:Lightburn.jpg]]</ref> Chris would repeatedly invoke this fact in his tirades against the shop and even made the baseless accusation that ''Snyder'' was a pedophile as well and was perhaps [[Chris and sex#Incest|molesting his own daughter]].<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref>

As of [[2015]], the premises formerly occupied by the PLACe are now host to Gearharts, an artisan chocolate shop.

==People of Note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2004]],<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris-Chan explains it all]]</ref> where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of 2008, although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

Michael Snyder was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he actually purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life enemies when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|Mimms}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]

In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual [[Chris and fashion|clown shirts]] and [[medallions|Sonichu medallions]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his [[gal pal|gal-pal]].

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his blatant [[Chris and race|racism]] with his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself [[Kick the Autistic|a beating]] from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's [[homos|homophobia]] occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A gay regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery, insults, and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for [[Obesity|obvious reasons]], Chris wasn't likely to ever do Eric any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that [[Michael Snyder]] and the former owner's son Tito were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks – his [[Autism|literal mind]] took that as proof that they were an actual couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the Card Gamer==
{{Main|Card games}}
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}

Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and [[Chris and his ego|proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"]]<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|résumé]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing [[Gal pal|female characters]] such as [[Soul Calibur|Cassandra]] and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe Photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because Mimms was trying to be covert.]]

In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/> Shortly afterward, Michael Snyder said he would call the [[Jerkops|cops]] if Chris ever brought his parents in once more, also threatening to ban Chris for a month if he ever mentioned the page again.<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris emails her some detective work, Megan likely doesn't give a shit]]</ref>.

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|the porn he drew of her]]), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris Gets the Boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management and customers in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flatscreen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

Chris received his first ban from the store on April 4, 2008 (lasting two weeks) after he went into the store's back room without permission to grab a box of assorted items for Pokémon card game sessions. According to Mimms, Mike used this as a pretext when in fact, he was losing customers because Chris was constantly making an uncomfortable environment with his spoiled and obnoxious behavior.<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow-up]]</ref> Unfortunately, Chris did nothing to change his ways and things would only get worse for him later on.

The straw that broke the camel's back was an incident in the summer of [[2008]], where Chris got into a shouting match with a young [[Chris and race#Black_people|black]] kid. That particular incident triggered Chris's permanent ban from the store, though Mimms stated "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point."<ref name=mimms1/> While Mimms' recollection was that the permanent ban took place in August, Chris's correspondence indicates that it must have occurred on the first Saturday of June.<ref group = "note">This is arrived at by a comparison of Chris's emails to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his GAMe PLACe friends during this summer.</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[jerkop|police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and from that point onward every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own version of events. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Mike's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [https://web.archive.org/web/20160712220237/https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan+Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his banning would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, destruction of her dignity, anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wanted Chris to ever return to the store.

In February 2011, Chris mentioned in [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]] that he still feels bitter over his banning.

==Unbanning Attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial 1-month ban. According to Lucas, this apology letter was met with peals of laughter from himself and others at the store.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place (not to mention he brought up that the store was the only local place where he could buy cards for [[The Eye of Judgment|a TCG he was interested in]]). A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran [[Sonichu's Edge|as far away as he could]].

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe, Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban ([[TheRcholic]], a YouTube account purporting to be Michael's, later claimed that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20130408132328/http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=u_p6bShW97Y</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off, called him a '''''JEW''''', and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually physically abused.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's not hard to see why it was wiped off the website.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[Chris and stress|stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Unsurprisingly, Mike wasn't moved.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it was clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe were almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]] (without the use of [[Mia Hamm|commercial services]]).

==The Charlottesville Incident==
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder so he could print it out and use it as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police.

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything, and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Crime Story==
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}

On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as photographs uploaded to [[CWCki|this very wiki]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.

In an email account of the incident, Chris justified his attempted intrusion by saying that he noticed the store was under new management and assumed this would allow him an opportunity to get his ban repealed, only to find out that Michael was still working there, thus conflict ensued.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email]]</ref>

After the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a "cyber-bullies hang-out" and encouraging people to "stay far away". He also stated that the PLACe will go down by "[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs" suggesting he has learned absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.

===Google Maps Spamming===
A scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by one "[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]" was discovered by trolls. What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.

{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus "hit and run" charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else."'''|"Robert", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that "Robert" was actually Chris. The mere fact that his "friend" has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also that the words "WIDOWED MOTHER" is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and anger|angry]].

A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as "Ben McMullan." The review read:

{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons."'''|"Ben McMullan", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia and North Carolina (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.

Another review from "Alexander Deck" also appeared, and looks very similar to "Robert's" review:
{{quote|"This HORRIBLE place kicked my friend Chris out, and for that I can NEVER FORGIVE THEM."'''|"Alexander Deck", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=117832957550460545229&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Another review from "Henry Bradston" is possibly by Chris:
{{Quote|This store has a wonderful and expansive selection of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards, which is what attracted me to the store in the first place. Then my cousin mentioned he was banned from the store a few years ago, and that made me realize how nasty the employees are. Upon a visit I took to the "Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys" last month, I had the pleasure of meeting who I think was the supervisor, or possibly the owner(...?) His name was Mike and he seemed like a very nice man. After only browsing booster packs for five minutes, I saw him start screaming at another patron. I don't recall what the argument was about, but it only lasted a couple minutes. The little kid (who couldn't have been older than ten) ran out of the store, crying. This incident alone coupled with the fact my cousin (who already has [[Autism|troubles]] of his own) was banned for what he says was "no good reason" has changed my perception of the store entirely. I would advise anyone who is interested in comics, TCGs, or toy collecting to NOT visit this store. And if I could say something to that fat sixty-something year old, I'd tell him to change his business tactics of scaring kids away cause it will only hurt business. ALSO, it turns out the OWNER is a registered sex offender.|"Henry Bradston"<ref>[https://plus.google.com/100281781145752145855/reviews "Herny Bradston's" Review]</ref>}}

==[[Borb]] and the GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] revealed many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler held and continue to hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they show a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he'll never play, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

During [[Bob Call 6|a phone conversation with]] [[ThePCAssassins]], Bob claimed that "people started hating" Chris because he was "so good at" the Pokémon TCG when in fact (as noted), Chris constantly lost card game matches to ''kids'' because of how poorly he played. It also goes without saying that "people started hating" Chris because of his ill-mannered behavior and not simply due to jealousy of skills he didn't actually have.

==Chris Accepts the GAMe PLACe?==
On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It never fell through, but it could've been a ''geinus'' plan to lull Mike into a false sense of security.

==Nope, He Still Wants It Scalded==
Amusingly, Chris believed that everyone at the PLace masterminded the trolling that continues to haunt him to this day, particularly Megan and Mike, who he deemed as the "Prime Trolls". He also wished for the PLace itself to be destroyed, if only for the reason of ousting a manchild that acted like a jackass in the store.<ref>[[April 2013 Facebook posts#Leaving the Game Place behind]]</ref>

Either way, given the consequences of his actions and his utter refusal to let go of childish things, it seems very unlikely that Chris will forgive or forget the GAMe PLACe. It does, however, raise a valid question concerning Chris: What will he do once his probation ends?

Proving once and for all that Chris absolutely refuses to let go of his ban from the GAMe PLACe, on 4 October 2013, Chris posted a very angry [[Facebook]] post where he shifts all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "homosexual [[JERKS|jerk]]", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan [[Chris and hypocrisy|until ''she'' apologizes for what she's done]].

==The Saga Ends==
[[File:Retail Space For Rent.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Poster indicating the former location of the GAMe PLACe is now up for rent.]]
[[File:GamePlace2015A.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The interior of the vacant store in April 2015.]]

In June 2014, information was leaked on the [[Kiwi Farms]] that seemed to indicate that the GAMe PLACe had shut down for good. The historical location of the store was empty, and a poster on the store's glass front indicated that the location was up for rent. It is unknown what time frame exactly when the PLACe closed, but judging from the store's website going offline in-between December 2013 and January 2014, it could have been from around that time. According to Rail Tales, a railroad-focused hobby shop that used to share space with the PLACe before splitting and moving to its own standalone venue, the reason for its closure was due to financial issues. Even after the shut down of the store, Chris continues to hold a grudge against Mike. It is also unknown if the business simply moved away and changed its name to avoid being detected by both Chris and [[weens]] alike.

===Today===
In November 2015, Gearharts, a local fine chocolate business, moved to and opened in the former GAMe PLACe site, where it has remained operational to date. Chris mentioned the new store on the [[CatKnight Interview 2|second CatKnight interview]], saying that he does not feel it is as good as the PLACe and is not interested in entering; assuming, of course, that the new tenants allow him back in.

Also in 2015, Chris began frequenting a similar card and hobby store in Charlottesville, [[The End Games]]. However, proving he can't learn from his mistakes, Chris ended up being banned from that store too, for similar reasons to his GAMe PLACe ban no less.

In September 2019, two years shy of a decade after Chris's ban, rumors began circulating online that a new PLACe had opened in the suburbs of Washington D.C., once again led by Snyder. Chris has yet to comment on this potential revival of his old haunt, but one of his orbiters, the malicious [[Jacob Sockness]], chose to harass Snyder in response to this, tracking down a guestbook for the funeral to the latter's recently-deceased father to torment him over banning Chris. Needless to say, nobody was impressed with this new low of [[Weens|weenery]].

{{Notes}}
{{References}}

==See also==
*[[GameStop]] - another game store Chris was banned from
*[[The End Games]] - another card and hobby store Chris was banned from

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Defunct businesses]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Bob Chandler

2026-09-25T18:36:43Z

WarnerBro:

{{Incomplete|[[ThePCAssassins]]}}
{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>}}

{{quote|All around the world, everyone prays to their own God, but they are all praying to the same God.|Bob's alleged last words.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Chris is the Avatar, Bob's last words]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I don't believe he ever, Mr. C, any of her past boyfriends, ex-husbands... haven't really reached and hit her G-spot really with their dicks.|Chris, insulting Bob's memory by claiming that [[Affair with Mother|he was better at fucking]] [[Barbara Chandler|the man's wife]] [[Chris and his ego|than he ever was]].<ref>[[Incest Call]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
| image = Chrischansdad.jpg
|imagesize = 250
|aliases = Bob Bobby Mr. C [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]] [[Cole Smithey#Relationship with Barbara and Bob|Republican cur]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Gallop Crush]] Robertchu<ref>[[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris#Sonichu genealogy for Chris, Bob and Ted Bundy]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|day = 4
|month = 9
|year = 1927
|deathday = 6
|deathmonth = 9
|deathyear = 2011
|gender = {{gender|gender=male}}
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White [[Count Dankula|Half-Sonichu]]<ref>Planted by [[Idea Guys#Lingering influence|Idea Guy]], mentioned in [[Count Dankula]] interview</ref>
|religion = Protestant (Methodist)
|label8 = Height
|ft = 5
|in = 7.5
|spouse = Patricia Faye Harley (1956–1980, divorce) [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Ann Weston]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = Dr. David Alan Chandler (1961 – 2026) Carol Suzanne Chandler [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Cole Smithey]] (stepson)
|grandchildren = [[Savannah Chandler]]
|father = Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906–1977)
|mother = Jean Hollomon (1906–1945)
|education = [[wikipedia:Auburn_University|Auburn University]] ([[wikipedia:Bachelor of Electrical Engineering|BEE]]) [[wikipedia:Jacksonville_State_University|Jacksonville State University]] (did not graduate)
|occupation = Military communications Engineer Inventor
|saga = {{saga|childhood|cn}}, {{saga|greene|cn}}, {{saga|bearstein|cn}}, {{saga|julie|cn}}, {{saga|emily|cn}}, {{saga|ivy|cn}}, {{saga|secondexile|cn}}
}}

'''Robert "Bob" Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]] – 6 September [[2011]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180110224343/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], the stepfather of [[Cole Smithey]], and husband of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he [[Bob Walks In|walked in]] on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack," came from this incident, wherein he promised to cut the internet down.

Despite being estranged from his other children and despised by his stepson for alleged abusive behavior, Bob was widely viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] by Christorians, and – as far as Chris's own testimony can be trusted – he treated Chris better than any of his previous children. Bob had serious difficulties working with Chris's [[autism]], but nonetheless, he had high hopes for his child despite the difficulties that he faced. Bob hoped to instill Chris with a variety of interests that reflected his own varied tastes, and he created The [[Dreaming Studio]] in their backyard, hoping they'd create things there (though sadly, nothing of note was ever created there).

Because of this, Bob's popularity stems from his concern for Chris's foolish behavior and from his occasional attempts to encourage a modicum of responsibility in Chris's life, noting that he devoted 29 years to raising his son. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb, he at least made the effort, even if his attempts were futile or harmful at worst. That being said, he also encouraged Chris to ''not'' seek employment in favor of getting [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]], even though Chris could still hold a part-time job and receive those benefits, so he's not entirely blameless for the state that his son is in today, either. Not to mention that many of [[Homos|Chris's more backward]] [[Chris and race|social perspectives]] that he had in the "Classic Era" stem from his influence.

Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed, much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. It seems that Chris's passion for [[Honest Content]] did not fall too far from that tree, although Bob at least had a filter that his son lacks. Whether in person or over the phone, Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone. According to Chris, he was also a strong negotiator.<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#Browsing Kiwi Farms]]</ref>

On 6 September 2011, Bob died of complications from heart failure at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU, surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObitarchive">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> He was survived by his wife and son, who then had to become the man of the house. Chris occasionally raked in some income through commission work, though he has never looked for a serious career. Chris initially came to terms with his father's death in a conventional, healthy way, but eventually turned to a [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism where he genuinely believed that his father was alive in [[Dimensions|another dimension]] as a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] named [[Robertchu]].

Years later, in 2021, Chris would disgrace Bob's memory by repeatedly having sex with his wife in an [[Affair with Mother|incest]]-based affair, with Chris bragging that he could get Barb off better than "Mr. C" ever could.<ref>[[Incest Texts]]</ref>

==Biography==
Bob was born on 4:15 PM at a medical arts building in {{w|Fort Worth, Texas}},<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in {{w|Sylacauga, Alabama}}.<ref name="About">[[Date with Emily#Bob's work history (0:07:18–0:16:58)]]</ref> He was the only child of Robert "Bob" Franklin Chandler Sr. (8 February 1906<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/103153414/robert-franklin-chandler ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328063730/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM archive])</ref> – 27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6 ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328072547/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6 archive])</ref>), an Alabamian insurance agent, and Jean Hollomon (28 March 1906<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/5947049/jean-chandler ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328094240/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M archive])</ref> – 10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8 ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328092829/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8 archive])</ref>), a Texan housewife.<ref>[[:File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg]]</ref> Bob has eight younger half-siblings on his father's side.<ref>https://www.hufffuneralhome.com/obituary/Dorothy-Chandler</ref> He also mentioned having a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> However, a distant relative disputed his Cherokee heritage,<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree#Ancestry.com content]]</ref> and his son's [[Cherokian Clan#Reality|DNA test results]] in 2018 belied any American Indian descent. It is common for white Southerners to make dubious claims to Cherokee ancestry, for a variety of historical reasons.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210120042/https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2015/10/cherokee-blood-why-do-so-many-americans-believe-they-have-cherokee-ancestry.html Slate article]</ref>

[[File:Robert Sr 1942.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|Bob in army uniform, 1946]]

[[File:Bob_Chandler_1945.png|thumb|right|200px|Bob Chandler (left) as a Boy Scout in 1945.]]

Bob has said that he was, "...interested in the world," around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign [[stamps]] as a child in the [[1930s]]; his first stamp was of {{w|Michael I of Romania}}. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> About 100 or so survived the 2014 [[house fire]].<ref>[[Discord Q&A 4#Bob's record collection]]</ref>

Bob joined the [[wikipedia:Boy Scouts of America|Boy Scouts]], becoming an Eagle Scout and a Scoutmaster for over 20 years.<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris]]</ref>

According to Chris, Bob lost his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] at the age of 27, which would have been in 1954 or 1955.<ref>[[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up]]</ref>

===Service and education===

A 1942 yearbook from Sylacauga High School lists a "Bobby Chandler" in the freshman class and glee club, suggesting that he graduated from this school in spring 1945 before matriculating at {{w|Auburn University}} as an aeronautical engineering major that autumn.

[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.]]

Bob apparently had knowledge that the Army desired,<ref>(Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725175556/http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/4124/rec/14])</ref> was conscripted as a special draftee in 1946 and placed in the {{w|Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps}}. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School in {{w|Fort Monmouth}}, New Jersey, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. Bob recounted a reckless decision he made during his time in the Army after returning from Korea for the Christmas holiday in 1947. He hitchhiked to New York City, where he stayed for two weeks before running out of money, and then had to figure out how to get back to Fort Monmouth.. Serving until 1948, he was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal: his service number was 44107856.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210120633/https://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?dt=893&mtch=11&tf=F&q=Chandler&bc=&sort=24996%2520desc&rpp=10&pg=4&rid=8565331&rlst=5136538%2C4652469%2C8564216%2C1000879%2C987835%2C4549799%2C991002%2C8565331%2C5188385%2C8565346]</ref>

Figuring he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college, {{w|Jacksonville State Teachers College}} (now Jacksonville State University), after leaving the military. He studied pre-engineering and played French horn for the band and orchestra there for two years before returning to Auburn University, where he studied electrical engineering and graduated in 1952 with a {{w|Bachelor of Electrical Engineering}} degree.<ref>(page 269 of the 1952 yearbook)[https://web.archive.org/web/20170725175342/http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/16173/rec/20] {{w|G.I. Bill}}.</ref><ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref name = "Meet">[[Date with Emily#Meet the Parent (0:05:20–0:07:17)]]</ref> While he was at Auburn, he was part of the band once again, was a member of {{w|Wesley Foundation}}, a [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|United Methodist]] religious group; and Phi Mu Alpha, a social frat dedicated to men who are interested in music.

===Career===
[[File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg|thumb|200px|Article on Bob's 25th anniversary at General Electric.]]

A 1946 military record included Bob's occupation while he was a student as "tinsmith, coppersmith, and sheet metal worker".

Bob worked for {{w|Western Electric}} as an engineer for four years, where he designed a variety of electrical subsystems, including relays, telephones and valve systems. Initially, he was working with the radar systems in test-planning automatic test equipment. With Western Electric, Bob and his co-worker filed a patent for electrical terminal block in 1955, which was published in 1959.<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US2884613A/en</ref> During the 1950s, he lived in [[wikipedia:Winston-Salem, North Carolina|Winston-Salem, North Carolina]], where his father and half of his half-siblings lived for the rest of their lives.

He was then offered a job by [[wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]] in [[wikipedia:Utica, New York|Utica, New York]]. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he left after three years, returning back to Winston-Salem for a few years before transferring to [[wikipedia:Roanoke, Virginia|Roanoke]] in Southwest Virginia, where he discovered his love for the mountains. In 1975, he moved to [[Richmond]], where he worked until 1980, when he was transferred to [[Charlottesville]].<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] claimed, in an email to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the {{w|Nintendo Entertainment System|NES}} "...might not have arrived so soon,"<ref name="Barbara" /> despite the international field of electronics having so many contributors that Bob likely had zero significant influence.

{{quote|Bob Chandler is one of the most creative engineers in the organization.|The General Manager at G.E.<ref>[[:File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg]]</ref>}}

Examples of Bob's accomplishments include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a vehicle logging system.<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US3486009</ref> Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed controls<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US3889849</ref> that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#A Word from Snorlax]]</ref>

Bob retired in 1987 at the age of 59 or 60 after 31 years of service for General Electric.<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris#Open Letter - December 26th, 1987]]</ref> His relatively early retirement may have been provoked by health problems, as he writes in his December 1987 [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letter to Chris]] that "I know now that I, at best, haven't much time left to share myself with you".

Bob himself was proud of his, "...natural inclination for logic," although he was, "...inundated," by all his designs and whether he did well for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob Chandler learning how to cut that Internet down.]]

{{quote|I have been very interested in the world since I was 10 years old, and that was 70 years ago and, the, uh, I'm very fond of and I really truly believe in the United Nations, but you won't find anybody else in my countryside or around here, I think, that does. (laughing) But anyway, I'm very world conscious.|[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|Bob]]}}

Bob referred to himself as a {{w|Republican Party (United States)|Republican}}, and he did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in {{w|United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election}}.<ref name="Prank calls"/> That said, he had misgivings about {{w|Bob McDonnell}}, the Republican candidate in the {{w|Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|2009 Virginia gubernatorial election}} and the ultimate winner of the election, possibly because of McDonnell's support for very strict anti-abortion laws, which made no exceptions for cases of rape or [[Chris and sex#incest|incest]]. Bob and Chris considered writing in Snoopy from ''[[Peanuts]]'' as a protest vote.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin,<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> but he continued talking on the grounds that his grasp of post-Soviet geography was shaky. He apparently convinced himself that Molvanîa was the same place as the real country of {{w|Moldova}}, a former Soviet republic located near the Black Sea.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> However, he rather damningly failed to question why Julie spoke perfect English with an American accent.

Besides Korea, Bob also visited Australia and England at some point in his life.<ref name = "Retired Life">[[Date with Emily#Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)]]</ref>

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia Harley on 29 September 1956 at a United Methodist church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. They had two children, [[David Alan Chandler]] (b. 1961) and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] (b. 1964).

Bob and Patricia separated on 28 June 1976 before divorcing on 28 January 1980.<ref name="BobObit">https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/dailyprogress/name/robert-franklin-chandler-obituary?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref><ref>[[:File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png]]</ref> Bob's relationships with David and Carol were strained in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Because of this, Chris did not know he had a niece via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]], until she was 8 years old,<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref> and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more distant. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and the last they had heard was that she was working for the federal government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref> David, on the other hand, did attend his father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler.png]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]].]]

Bob and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] met in 1979 at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader in the late 1970s).<ref name=godbear>[[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves]]</ref> Barbara was there with a friend and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Bob claimed that Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hallway," though Barb has disputed this.<ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special#Part 2]]</ref> This version of events may be why Chris figured that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]'s friend Chuck McGuigan, who worked at the pub as a bartender, has a vivid memory of them, "...acting out as a couple of drunken losers."<ref name="Cole2" />

They got married in 1980,<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> only months after Bob and Patricia had divorced.<ref>[[:File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg]]</ref> Barb later told Chris that she ultimately married Bob because, "...he owned [[14 Branchland Court|a house]]."<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb and Bob did not have sex for at least two decades before Bob's passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms in the years leading up to his death.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris also recalled Bob and Barb would routinely argue with each other, in which he felt the need to play "peacemaker" and the constant shouting matches caused him [[Chris and stress|stress]] which he struggled to [[Chris and coping|cope with]].<ref name=feb26>[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]</ref>

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] was nearly 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness ruined the relationship between himself and his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "...when that fuck Bob finally drops,"<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though there isn't any proof that Bob hated Cole. At the least, Bob certainly knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name = "Meet" />

===Chris===

{{see also|Bob's Letters to Chris}}

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[File:Dreaming studio.png|thumb|Dreaming studio of Mr. C and Little C. Where dreams do come true - 1989.]]

When Chris was a boy, Bob encouraged him to learn more about the world and tried sharing his interests and hobbies, including engineering, geography and [[Stamps|stamp collecting]].

When Chris was seven, Bob converted a shed in the backyard of [[14 Branchland Court]] to a workshop where he and Chris could build things together, dubbing it the "dreaming studio." Chris could not recall what they had built together when asked about it in the years following Bob's death;<ref>[[IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> he and Barb had been using the space for hoard storage.

Bob wished that Chris were more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography, such as [[Julie|Europe]] and [[PandaHalo|Australia]], but figured (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[television]], and can only associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

During Chris's fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], there was an incident which resulted in Chris being pinned down by staff. Bob took legal action against the school, though his suit was later dismissed. Greene's staff suggested Chris be enrolled at an institution 80 miles away in the city of Winchester. Following the dispute, Bob pulled Chris out of Greene County's school system and Chris was homeschooled through fifth grade. The two moved near the larger Chesterfield County's school district for Chris to attend [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]]. While in Chesterfield's district, Chris was enrolled as a special education student, taking Coping Skills classes, and he also continued to be mainstreamed into regular classes.

While Chris attended middle school, Bob felt he needed supervision to get to and from the bus stop safely. He paid a classmate of Chris's, [[Natasha Turner]], to walk with him. Despite Bob giving Chris the money to pay Natasha and explicitly informing him it was like babysitter money, Chris [[Slow-in-the-minds|did not realize]] why Natasha was being paid until [[2013]] when the revelation shocked him.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Natasha]]</ref>

When Chris entered [[Manchester High]], Bob (allegedly, according to Chris) consulted with the school principal about Chris's socialization, which resulted in [[Gal pal|a bunch of girls]] asked to be friends with Chris. The exact details are, however, murky at best, and Chris's accounting may be affected by a later lie told to him by the troll [[Thetan]]. While at Manchester, Chris had an incident on the regular bus which resulted in him being placed on the special education bus (which makes direct door-to-door pickups) for the remainder of his high school years.

Bob enjoyed collecting stamps as a boy growing up in the 1930s, and he continued to do so for several decades, with a focus on the United Nations and foreign countries,<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> building a collection of stamp albums which filled six boxes.<ref>[[I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it]]</ref> He taught Chris about his hobby, buying him a beginner's stamp album in 1992.<ref>[[eBay#Chris's stamp album]]</ref> Chris seemed to enjoy the hobby as well, since he had many pages of stamps filled in. In [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letters]] to Chris (written when Chris was a few years old), Bob gave Chris permission to pass along his various collections to others after inheriting them. In 2017, Chris began selling pieces of the inherited stamp collection. Bob's pieces were decently priced, generally for $5 per set, though he tried to sell his own personal stamp album for $1,000.<ref>[[eBay]] - see listings for their stamp collections.</ref>

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

Chris's phobia of [[Pickle|penises]] was apparently sparked by barging into his parents' room, where Bob had a habit of sleeping nude from the waist down.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#On seeing his father's penis]]</ref>

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements [sic], annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded).|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

{{quote|I've wanted to yell back at Mister C for Years, then I finally did in High School over his stupid random thought of verbal "sparring" over freaking frog's teeth! Gah!!!|Chris, [[February 2026]]<ref name=feb26></ref>}}

However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. As seen during the lead up to the encounter between [[Emily]], Chris and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], Bob seemed to be more than happy to discuss stories with people, even those he hadn't seen or heard that much of - [[Robert Simmons V]], who met Bob during his [[Church audio|visit to Chris's church]] conversed with him extensively, later saying that he was a 'really pleasant guy.' Bob also engaged in friendly and interesting conversation with [[ThePCAssassins]] many times through [[2010]] and [[2011]], further disproving Chris's belief. The antagonism to which Chris refers was likely Bob attempting to constructively criticize Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.
[[File:Bob drawing Nov. '15.jpg|thumb|200px|left|A drawing of Bob by Chris, released in [[November 2015]].]]

An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, and seeing no reason as to why he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love," "support," "gratitude," and "willingness to help." Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris still ran for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional [[Mumble 1|frustration]] over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the success that he has earned from his own Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appeared that Bob was the source of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[Chris and stress|stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.]]
Once during a phone call with a troll, Bob stated that Chris was [[Chris and anger|"a hell of a lot nicer"]] and "has done a lot better than" the troll calling him.<ref name="Prank">[[Prank calls#Snake Productions Calls Bob Chandler]]</ref>

In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's emails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about the beginning of Chris's [[transgender]]ism in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a "fag".

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris doesn't take the presence of others for granted. He also got genuinely emotional while reading a letter that his father had left for him on-camera, again indicating how much he misses his father.<ref>[[CLog 09042017 - Mister C]]</ref>

In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the [[WTJU Marathon|1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon]], in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris publicly honored his father's memory since his passing in [[September 2011]].

Bob lives on in his son's memory. Chris noted the occasion of his father's passing by attaching angel wings to the [[Lego]] minifigure representing him,<ref>Seen at 4:24 in [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]</ref> and displaying two photos of him in front of his TV.<ref>[[:File:Totem2ebay.jpeg]]</ref> He often sees Bob in his [[dreams]].<ref>[[March 2012 Facebook Posts#Still Feeling Lonely II|March 2012 Facebook Posts]]</ref><ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing|OkCupid Answers]]</ref>

Due to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris later expressed beliefs that Bob is half-Sonichu and is apparently still alive in the [[CWCville]] dimension. These beliefs began around December 2017 and continued even after the Idea Guys had been removed from power, as shown by the below quote from 2018's Father's Day.

{{quotebox|[[File:Father's Day 2018.jpg|200px|thumb]]

<nowiki>#HappyFathersDay</nowiki> to each and every Father in This World and in Every Single Other Dimension Too! My father is alive again! I still love him, even in his checker-patterned glory! ⚡️💙❤️⚡️<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20191211070743/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1008449921387778048</ref>}}

In the [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]], Chris claimed he was better at [[Affair with Mother|pleasuring]] [[Barb]] than his own father. One can only imagine Bob's reaction to this news if he were still alive to bear witness to what his son has become.

Despite his best efforts to the contrary, Chris, his second chance at being a father, was Bob's greatest failure as a parent, even when factoring in his strained relationship with his other children.

===Other relationships===
In spite of his redneck background, Bob seems to have gotten along better with foreigners than with his own countrymen. His closest friend in Richmond was Reverend Chen of Korean Canaan Presbyterian Church,<ref>[[Date with Emily#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> and he had English friends through his involvement with Matt's British Pub.<ref name=godbear></ref> He also had friends in Australia,<ref>BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7</ref> and Czechoslovakian friends in late 1970s, who were illegal immigrants escaping Czechoslovakia. Chris said Bob and Barb enjoyed conversing and drinking {{w|Slivovitz}} with them and that Bob would drive to Maryland to buy Slivovitz.<ref>[[Regina_e-mails#Random-access_humor_demonstration]]</ref>

From his father's second marriage, Bob had, "...a large number of half-brothers and sisters in... [[wikipedia:Winston-Salem, North Carolina|Salem, North Carolina]],"<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris]]</ref> but he does not seem to have been very close with them. Bob's stepmother's obituary confirms that eight of these half-siblings were alive as of 2015.<ref>https://www.hufffuneralhome.com/obituary/Dorothy-Chandler</ref>

[[Prank calls#Call Bobby Chandler|Contrary to popular beliefs]], he did not have friends in the Ku Klux Klan.

==Later life, poor health and death==
{{See also|Death of Bob Chandler}}
[[File:Bob playbill for musical push cart.jpg|thumb|200px|Playbill for Mr. C. and his musical pushcart.]]

Bob lived on Social Security as well as his General Electric pension.<ref name = "Retired Life" /> He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to [[Trolls|total strangers]] on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to 'swing with the music' on his swing there.<ref name="Retired Life" />

Bob had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple-bypass operations took place first in August 1980 and at last in 1992. He had {{w|Coronary artery disease}} and wore an {{w|Artificial cardiac pacemaker|artificial pacemaker}}.<ref>[[Autism papers#FAMILY_HISTORY:]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> He apparently had several vivid near-death experiences: during [[Date with Emily#Bob's health problems (0:24:23–0:25:29)|Chris's date with]] [[Emily]], Bob tells her that he has "died" several times, and Chris says that Bob, "...has seen the light, but did not actually go to it." In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build-up in his legs, which is symptomatic of CHF. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at [[Burger King]] daily.<ref>[[Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris]]</ref><ref>[[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)]]</ref> Bob had voted for the sheriff of Greene County, John Scott Haas, and also met him at a fruit stand while he was running for office (which could've been around either [[2003]] or [[2007]]).<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref>

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|tweeted]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [sic] {{w|heart failure}}". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, [[trolls]] and [[White-Knights|white knights]] alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose [[Chris and his ego|when Chris was inclined to complain about it online]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210121845/https://www.healthline.com/health/chf-life-expectancy]</ref> but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and [[Tour of Chris's House|lifestyle]] made this a very serious situation.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. His silence on the subject of his father was probably because of [[Naïve|genuine ignorance]] of the seriousness of his father's condition.

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."<ref>[[:File:Bobbetter.jpg]]</ref> Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well". Chris was, at least, half right.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
{{quote|Christian, you are not a girl! Go put your pants back on.|Bob, ''Sonichu'' #12}}

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb]]

In [[Sonichu 8#Spring Break, 2008!|"Spring Break, 2008"]], a radio announcement from [[Jamsta Sonichu]] mentions that Bob founded [[CWCville]] in 1982, presumably after Chris's birth on [[Chris's birthday|24 February]] given that Bob named the city after his newborn son. Comic Bob presumably served as mayor before Chris took the office at an unknown date. At other points, Bob was mentioned in Chris's tangents about hating men other than himself and his father.

In [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|"Date Ed"]], there are two dolls for the class to practice talking to, girls received "Robert" dolls, while boys received "Barbara" dolls, an obvious reference/homage to Bob and Barb.

Bob made his first official appearance in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Barb and various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

[[File:Bob,Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|right]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Bob appears in a set of pages that combine an autobiographical account of Chris coming out as a [[tomgirl]] to his parents, and a tribute to his late father. He is depicted as an elderly man, as the page took place in 2010 (due to Chris's [[Oedipus complex]], Barb is depicted as much more youthful). He attempts to dissuade Chris from continuing his tomgirl lifestyle, although Chris states that Bob later, "...told me he accepts and love ''[sic]'' me for who I am," shortly before his passing in 2011.

Chris concludes Bob's appearance in the book with a photo in memoriam of his life, saying that he and Barb continue to miss him every day.

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Bob, pictured at right, as ''Gallop Crush'', in a [[MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying that they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]. The ponified Bob, known as "Gallop Crush", appears as [[Night Star]]'s father, reaffirming the self-insert nature of Chris's ponysona.

In the [[Idea Guy]]-written [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]], Bob's spirit crosses over into CWCville where he meets and strikes up a conversation with serial killer [[Ted Bundy]].

{{Mayors of CWCville}}

===As a toy===

<center><gallery>
File:BobAmiibo.jpg|[[Amiibo]] Bob, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]]. Oh yes.
File:ChrisFamilyEtsyC.jpg|Promo drawing
</gallery></center>

===Audio and video===

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).

* [[1990]]: Bob appeared as the DJ to the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the [[Chris in the media|Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
*[[Christmas|25 December]] [[2004]]: Bob makes multiple physical appearences in [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004]], where he appears remarkably depressed.
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]] in the [[kitchen]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church Visit|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the house tour, (incorrectly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn Internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also is audible at the end of the call.
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these. He was usually sincere when talking with prank callers, providing them with true and honest information about himself and Chris, but was occasionally pushed to trolling them back, on one occasion telling a particularly obnoxious pair of trolls that he had ties to the Ku Klux Klan.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Bob1946Auburn.jpg|Bob's Auburn freshman yearbook photo, taken for the 1946 yearbook.
File:BobJax1950.PNG|Bob's 1950 Jacksonville State Teachers College sophomore yearbook photo.
File:Bobauburn1951.PNG|Bob's 1951 Auburn junior yearbook photo.
File:Bobauburn1952.PNG|Bob's Auburn senior yearbook photo.
File:WW2BobChandler(badquality).jpg|Bob's 1946 U.S. Army draftee (written in 1945).
File:Bob1946WW2DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Bob's 1946 Draft card on a physical detail (written in 1945).
File:BobPatMarriage.png|Bob and Patricia's newspaper engagement.
File:1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.png|1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.
File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png|1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.
File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.
File:Bob and his parents - 1930s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1930s census.
File:Bob and his parents - 1940s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1940s census.
File:Bob1950Census.jpg|Bob in the Jacksonville State Teachers University's dormitory room - 1950s census.
File:Bob's birth certificate.png|Bob's birth certificate.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
File:RobertChandler1960s.png|Bob in the late 1960s/early 1970s
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Christmas at the Chandlers, taken sometime during the 1980s.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg
File:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|
File:1993family.png|Barb, Chris and Bob in [[1993]]
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|
File:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
File:0090-Christmas95-5.jpg
File:0091-Christmas95-6.jpg
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|
File:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg
File:0473-CWC18th4.jpg
File:0114-MomsBirthday97-2.jpg
File:0115-MomsBirthday97-3.jpg
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|
File:Bob&BarbMay2000.png|
File:Bob1997article1.png|Bob's short brief article from Richmond Times-Dispatch in July 1997.
File:Bob1997article2.png|Bob's short brief article from Richmond Times-Dispatch in August 1997.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|Bob used to enjoy gardening back in the day.
File:0472-CWC18th3.jpg
File:Robert Chandler, 19 June 2016 Facebook post photo.jpg
File:2002 BrickFest7.jpg|Bob with Chris at [[BrickFest]] [[2001]].
File:2002 BrickFest10.jpg
File:0612-DaddyIs75.jpg|75th birthday.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG
Image:Bob_80th.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20201210122203/https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/141038783/robert-franklin-chandler Bob Chandler at Find a Grave]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
{{ChildhoodSaga}}
{{GreeneSaga}}
{{BearsteinSaga}}
{{SecondExile}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Greatest Generation]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People from Texas]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Bob Chandler

2026-09-23T22:21:19Z

WarnerBro:

{{Incomplete|[[ThePCAssassins]]}}
{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>}}

{{quote|All around the world, everyone prays to their own God, but they are all praying to the same God.|Bob's alleged last words.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Chris is the Avatar, Bob's last words]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I don't believe he ever, Mr. C, any of her past boyfriends, ex-husbands... haven't really reached and hit her G-spot really with their dicks.|Chris, insulting Bob's memory by claiming that [[Affair with Mother|he was better at fucking]] [[Barbara Chandler|the man's wife]] [[Chris and his ego|than he ever was]].<ref>[[Incest Call]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
| image = Chrischansdad.jpg
|imagesize = 250
|aliases = Bob Bobby Mr. C [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]] [[Cole Smithey#Relationship with Barbara and Bob|Republican cur]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Gallop Crush]] Robertchu<ref>[[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris#Sonichu genealogy for Chris, Bob and Ted Bundy]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|day = 4
|month = 9
|year = 1927
|deathday = 6
|deathmonth = 9
|deathyear = 2011
|gender = {{gender|gender=male}}
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White [[Count Dankula|Half-Sonichu]]<ref>Planted by [[Idea Guys#Lingering influence|Idea Guy]], mentioned in [[Count Dankula]] interview</ref>
|religion = Protestant (Methodist)
|label8 = Height
|ft = 5
|in = 7.5
|spouse = Patricia Faye Harley (1956–1980, divorce) [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Ann Weston]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = Dr. David Alan Chandler (1961 – 2026) Carol Suzanne Chandler [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Cole Smithey]] (stepson)
|grandchildren = [[Savannah Chandler]]
|father = Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906–1977)
|mother = Jean Hollomon (1906–1945)
|education = [[wikipedia:Auburn_University|Auburn University]] ([[wikipedia:Bachelor of Electrical Engineering|BEE]]) [[wikipedia:Jacksonville_State_University|Jacksonville State University]] (did not graduate)
|occupation = Military communications Engineer Inventor
|saga = {{saga|childhood|cn}}, {{saga|greene|cn}}, {{saga|bearstein|cn}}, {{saga|julie|cn}}, {{saga|emily|cn}}, {{saga|ivy|cn}}, {{saga|secondexile|cn}}
}}

'''Robert "Bob" Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]] – 6 September [[2011]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180110224343/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], the stepfather of [[Cole Smithey]], and husband of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he [[Bob Walks In|walked in]] on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack," came from this incident, wherein he promised to cut the internet down.

Despite being estranged from his other children and despised by his stepson for alleged abusive behavior, Bob was widely viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] by Christorians, and – as far as Chris's own testimony can be trusted – he treated Chris better than any of his previous children. Bob had serious difficulties working with Chris's [[autism]], but nonetheless, he had high hopes for his child despite the difficulties that he faced. Bob hoped to instill Chris with a variety of interests that reflected his own varied tastes, and he created The [[Dreaming Studio]] in their backyard, hoping they'd create things there (though sadly, nothing of note was ever created there).

Because of this, Bob's popularity stems from his concern for Chris's foolish behavior and from his occasional attempts to encourage a modicum of responsibility in Chris's life, noting that he devoted 29 years to raising his son. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb, he at least made the effort, even if his attempts were futile or harmful at worst. That being said, he also encouraged Chris to ''not'' seek employment in favor of getting [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]], even though Chris could still hold a part-time job and receive those benefits, so he's not entirely blameless for the state that his son is in today, either. Not to mention that many of [[Homos|Chris's more backward]] [[Chris and race|social perspectives]] that he had in the "Classic Era" stem from his influence.

Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed, much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. It seems that Chris's passion for [[Honest Content]] did not fall too far from that tree, although Bob at least had a filter that his son lacks. Whether in person or over the phone, Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone. According to Chris, he was also a strong negotiator.<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#Browsing Kiwi Farms]]</ref>

On 6 September 2011, Bob died of complications from heart failure at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU, surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObitarchive">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> He was survived by his wife and son, who then had to become the man of the house. Chris occasionally raked in some income through commission work, though he has never looked for a serious career. Chris initially came to terms with his father's death in a conventional, healthy way, but eventually turned to a [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism where he genuinely believed that his father was alive in [[Dimensions|another dimension]] as a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] named [[Robertchu]].

Years later, in 2021, Chris would disgrace Bob's memory by repeatedly having sex with his wife in an [[Affair with Mother|incest]]-based affair, with Chris bragging that he could get Barb off better than "Mr. C" ever could.<ref>[[Incest Texts]]</ref>

==Biography==
Bob was born on 4:15 PM at a medical arts building in {{w|Fort Worth, Texas}},<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in {{w|Sylacauga, Alabama}}.<ref name="About">[[Date with Emily#Bob's work history (0:07:18–0:16:58)]]</ref> He was the only child of Robert "Bob" Franklin Chandler Sr. (8 February 1906<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/103153414/robert-franklin-chandler ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328063730/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM archive])</ref> – 27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6 ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328072547/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6 archive])</ref>), an Alabamian insurance agent, and Jean Hollomon (28 March 1906<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/5947049/jean-chandler ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328094240/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M archive])</ref> – 10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8 ([https://web.archive.org/web/20160328092829/https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8 archive])</ref>), a Texan housewife.<ref>[[:File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg]]</ref> Bob has eight younger half-siblings on his father's side.<ref>https://www.hufffuneralhome.com/obituary/Dorothy-Chandler</ref> He also mentioned having a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> However, a distant relative disputed his Cherokee heritage,<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree#Ancestry.com content]]</ref> and his son's [[Cherokian Clan#Reality|DNA test results]] in 2018 belied any American Indian descent. It is common for white Southerners to make dubious claims to Cherokee ancestry, for a variety of historical reasons.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210120042/https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2015/10/cherokee-blood-why-do-so-many-americans-believe-they-have-cherokee-ancestry.html Slate article]</ref>

[[File:Robert Sr 1942.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|Bob in army uniform, 1946]]

[[File:Bob_Chandler_1945.png|thumb|right|200px|Bob Chandler (left) as a Boy Scout in 1945.]]

Bob has said that he was, "...interested in the world," around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign [[stamps]] as a child in the [[1930s]]; his first stamp was of {{w|Michael I of Romania}}. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> About 100 or so survived the 2014 [[house fire]].<ref>[[Discord Q&A 4#Bob's record collection]]</ref>

Bob joined the [[wikipedia:Boy Scouts of America|Boy Scouts]], becoming an Eagle Scout and a Scoutmaster for over 20 years.<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris]]</ref>

According to Chris, Bob lost his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] at the age of 27, which would have been in 1954 or 1955.<ref>[[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up]]</ref>

===Service and education===

A 1942 yearbook from Sylacauga High School lists a "Bobby Chandler" in the freshman class and glee club, suggesting that he graduated from this school in spring 1945 before matriculating at {{w|Auburn University}} as an aeronautical engineering major that autumn.

[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.]]

Bob apparently had knowledge that the Army desired,<ref>(Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [https://web.archive.org/web/20170725175556/http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/4124/rec/14])</ref> was conscripted as a special draftee in 1946 and placed in the {{w|Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps}}. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School in {{w|Fort Monmouth}}, New Jersey, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. Bob recounted a reckless decision he made during his time in the Army after returning from Korea for the Christmas holiday in 1947. He hitchhiked to New York City, where he stayed for two weeks before running out of money, and then had to figure out how to get back to Fort Monmouth.. Serving until 1948, he was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal: his service number was 44107856.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210120633/https://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?dt=893&mtch=11&tf=F&q=Chandler&bc=&sort=24996%2520desc&rpp=10&pg=4&rid=8565331&rlst=5136538%2C4652469%2C8564216%2C1000879%2C987835%2C4549799%2C991002%2C8565331%2C5188385%2C8565346]</ref>

Figuring he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college, {{w|Jacksonville State Teachers College}} (now Jacksonville State University), after leaving the military. He studied pre-engineering and played French horn for the band and orchestra there for two years before returning to Auburn University, where he studied electrical engineering and graduated in 1952 with a {{w|Bachelor of Electrical Engineering}} degree.<ref>(page 269 of the 1952 yearbook)[https://web.archive.org/web/20170725175342/http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/16173/rec/20] {{w|G.I. Bill}}.</ref><ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref name = "Meet">[[Date with Emily#Meet the Parent (0:05:20–0:07:17)]]</ref> While he was at Auburn, he was part of the band once again, was a member of {{w|Wesley Foundation}}, a [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|United Methodist]] religious group; and Phi Mu Alpha, a social frat dedicated to men who are interested in music.

===Career===
[[File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg|thumb|200px|Article on Bob's 25th anniversary at General Electric.]]

A 1946 military record included Bob's occupation while he was a student as "tinsmith, coppersmith, and sheet metal worker".

Bob worked for {{w|Western Electric}} as an engineer for four years, where he designed a variety of electrical subsystems, including relays, telephones and valve systems. Initially, he was working with the radar systems in test-planning automatic test equipment. With Western Electric, Bob and his co-worker filed a patent for electrical terminal block in 1955, which was published in 1959.<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US2884613A/en</ref> During the 1950s, he lived in [[wikipedia:Winston-Salem, North Carolina|Winston-Salem, North Carolina]], where his father and half of his half-siblings lived for the rest of their lives.

He was then offered a job by [[wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]] in [[wikipedia:Utica, New York|Utica, New York]]. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he left after three years, returning back to Winston-Salem for a few years before transferring to [[wikipedia:Roanoke, Virginia|Roanoke]] in Southwest Virginia, where he discovered his love for the mountains. In 1975, he moved to [[Richmond]], where he worked until 1980, when he was transferred to [[Charlottesville]].<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] claimed, in an email to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the {{w|Nintendo Entertainment System|NES}} "...might not have arrived so soon,"<ref name="Barbara" /> despite the international field of electronics having so many contributors that Bob likely had zero significant influence.

{{quote|Bob Chandler is one of the most creative engineers in the organization.|The General Manager at G.E.<ref>[[:File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg]]</ref>}}

Examples of Bob's accomplishments include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a vehicle logging system.<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US3486009</ref> Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed controls<ref>https://patents.google.com/patent/US3889849</ref> that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#A Word from Snorlax]]</ref>

Bob retired in 1987 at the age of 59 or 60 after 31 years of service for General Electric.<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris#Open Letter - December 26th, 1987]]</ref> His relatively early retirement may have been provoked by health problems, as he writes in his December 1987 [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letter to Chris]] that "I know now that I, at best, haven't much time left to share myself with you".

Bob himself was proud of his, "...natural inclination for logic," although he was, "...inundated," by all his designs and whether he did well for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob Chandler learning how to cut that Internet down.]]

{{quote|I have been very interested in the world since I was 10 years old, and that was 70 years ago and, the, uh, I'm very fond of and I really truly believe in the United Nations, but you won't find anybody else in my countryside or around here, I think, that does. (laughing) But anyway, I'm very world conscious.|[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|Bob]]}}

Bob referred to himself as a {{w|Republican Party (United States)|Republican}}, and he did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in {{w|United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election}}.<ref name="Prank calls"/> That said, he had misgivings about {{w|Bob McDonnell}}, the Republican candidate in the {{w|Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|2009 Virginia gubernatorial election}} and the ultimate winner of the election, possibly because of McDonnell's support for very strict anti-abortion laws, which made no exceptions for cases of rape or [[Chris and sex#incest|incest]]. Bob and Chris considered writing in Snoopy from ''[[Peanuts]]'' as a protest vote.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin,<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> but he continued talking on the grounds that his grasp of post-Soviet geography was shaky. He apparently convinced himself that Molvanîa was the same place as the real country of {{w|Moldova}}, a former Soviet republic located near the Black Sea.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> However, he rather damningly failed to question why Julie spoke perfect English with an American accent.

Besides Korea, Bob also visited Australia and England at some point in his life.<ref name = "Retired Life">[[Date with Emily#Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)]]</ref>

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia Harley on 29 September 1956 at a United Methodist church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. They had two children, [[David Alan Chandler]] (b. 1961) and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] (b. 1964).

Bob and Patricia separated on 28 June 1976 before divorcing on 28 January 1980.<ref name="BobObit">https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/dailyprogress/name/robert-franklin-chandler-obituary?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref><ref>[[:File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png]]</ref> Bob's relationships with David and Carol were strained in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Because of this, Chris did not know he had a niece via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]], until she was 8 years old,<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref> and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more distant. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and the last they had heard was that she was working for the federal government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref> David, on the other hand, did attend his father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler.png]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]].]]

Bob and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] met in 1979 at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader in the late 1970s).<ref name=godbear>[[It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves]]</ref> Barbara was there with a friend and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Bob claimed that Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hallway," though Barb has disputed this.<ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special#Part 2]]</ref> This version of events may be why Chris figured that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]'s friend Chuck McGuigan, who worked at the pub as a bartender, has a vivid memory of them, "...acting out as a couple of drunken losers."<ref name="Cole2" />

They got married in 1980,<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> only months after Bob and Patricia had divorced.<ref>[[:File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg]]</ref> Barb later told Chris that she ultimately married Bob because, "...he owned [[14 Branchland Court|a house]]."<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb and Bob did not have sex for at least two decades before Bob's passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms in the years leading up to his death.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris also recalled Bob and Barb would routinely argue with each other, in which he felt the need to play "peacemaker" and the constant shouting matches caused him [[Stress|stress]] which he struggled to [[Chris and coping|cope with]].<ref name=feb26>[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]</ref>

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] was nearly 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness ruined the relationship between himself and his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "...when that fuck Bob finally drops,"<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though there isn't any proof that Bob hated Cole. At the least, Bob certainly knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name = "Meet" />

===Chris===

{{see also|Bob's Letters to Chris}}

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[File:Dreaming studio.png|thumb|Dreaming studio of Mr. C and Little C. Where dreams do come true - 1989.]]

When Chris was a boy, Bob encouraged him to learn more about the world and tried sharing his interests and hobbies, including engineering, geography and [[Stamps|stamp collecting]].

When Chris was seven, Bob converted a shed in the backyard of [[14 Branchland Court]] to a workshop where he and Chris could build things together, dubbing it the "dreaming studio." Chris could not recall what they had built together when asked about it in the years following Bob's death;<ref>[[IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> he and Barb had been using the space for hoard storage.

Bob wished that Chris were more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography, such as [[Julie|Europe]] and [[PandaHalo|Australia]], but figured (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[television]], and can only associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

During Chris's fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], there was an incident which resulted in Chris being pinned down by staff. Bob took legal action against the school, though his suit was later dismissed. Greene's staff suggested Chris be enrolled at an institution 80 miles away in the city of Winchester. Following the dispute, Bob pulled Chris out of Greene County's school system and Chris was homeschooled through fifth grade. The two moved near the larger Chesterfield County's school district for Chris to attend [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]]. While in Chesterfield's district, Chris was enrolled as a special education student, taking Coping Skills classes, and he also continued to be mainstreamed into regular classes.

While Chris attended middle school, Bob felt he needed supervision to get to and from the bus stop safely. He paid a classmate of Chris's, [[Natasha Turner]], to walk with him. Despite Bob giving Chris the money to pay Natasha and explicitly informing him it was like babysitter money, Chris [[Slow-in-the-minds|did not realize]] why Natasha was being paid until [[2013]] when the revelation shocked him.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Natasha]]</ref>

When Chris entered [[Manchester High]], Bob (allegedly, according to Chris) consulted with the school principal about Chris's socialization, which resulted in [[Gal pal|a bunch of girls]] asked to be friends with Chris. The exact details are, however, murky at best, and Chris's accounting may be affected by a later lie told to him by the troll [[Thetan]]. While at Manchester, Chris had an incident on the regular bus which resulted in him being placed on the special education bus (which makes direct door-to-door pickups) for the remainder of his high school years.

Bob enjoyed collecting stamps as a boy growing up in the 1930s, and he continued to do so for several decades, with a focus on the United Nations and foreign countries,<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> building a collection of stamp albums which filled six boxes.<ref>[[I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it]]</ref> He taught Chris about his hobby, buying him a beginner's stamp album in 1992.<ref>[[eBay#Chris's stamp album]]</ref> Chris seemed to enjoy the hobby as well, since he had many pages of stamps filled in. In [[Bob's Letters to Chris|letters]] to Chris (written when Chris was a few years old), Bob gave Chris permission to pass along his various collections to others after inheriting them. In 2017, Chris began selling pieces of the inherited stamp collection. Bob's pieces were decently priced, generally for $5 per set, though he tried to sell his own personal stamp album for $1,000.<ref>[[eBay]] - see listings for their stamp collections.</ref>

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

Chris's phobia of [[Pickle|penises]] was apparently sparked by barging into his parents' room, where Bob had a habit of sleeping nude from the waist down.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#On seeing his father's penis]]</ref>

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements [sic], annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded).|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

{{quote|I've wanted to yell back at Mister C for Years, then I finally did in High School over his stupid random thought of verbal "sparring" over freaking frog's teeth! Gah!!!|Chris, [[February 2026]]<ref name=feb26></ref>}}

However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. As seen during the lead up to the encounter between [[Emily]], Chris and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], Bob seemed to be more than happy to discuss stories with people, even those he hadn't seen or heard that much of - [[Robert Simmons V]], who met Bob during his [[Church audio|visit to Chris's church]] conversed with him extensively, later saying that he was a 'really pleasant guy.' Bob also engaged in friendly and interesting conversation with [[ThePCAssassins]] many times through [[2010]] and [[2011]], further disproving Chris's belief. The antagonism to which Chris refers was likely Bob attempting to constructively criticize Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.
[[File:Bob drawing Nov. '15.jpg|thumb|200px|left|A drawing of Bob by Chris, released in [[November 2015]].]]

An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, and seeing no reason as to why he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love," "support," "gratitude," and "willingness to help." Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris still ran for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional [[Mumble 1|frustration]] over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the success that he has earned from his own Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appeared that Bob was the source of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[Chris and stress|stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.]]
Once during a phone call with a troll, Bob stated that Chris was [[Chris and anger|"a hell of a lot nicer"]] and "has done a lot better than" the troll calling him.<ref name="Prank">[[Prank calls#Snake Productions Calls Bob Chandler]]</ref>

In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's emails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about the beginning of Chris's [[transgender]]ism in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a "fag".

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris doesn't take the presence of others for granted. He also got genuinely emotional while reading a letter that his father had left for him on-camera, again indicating how much he misses his father.<ref>[[CLog 09042017 - Mister C]]</ref>

In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the [[WTJU Marathon|1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon]], in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris publicly honored his father's memory since his passing in [[September 2011]].

Bob lives on in his son's memory. Chris noted the occasion of his father's passing by attaching angel wings to the [[Lego]] minifigure representing him,<ref>Seen at 4:24 in [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]</ref> and displaying two photos of him in front of his TV.<ref>[[:File:Totem2ebay.jpeg]]</ref> He often sees Bob in his [[dreams]].<ref>[[March 2012 Facebook Posts#Still Feeling Lonely II|March 2012 Facebook Posts]]</ref><ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing|OkCupid Answers]]</ref>

Due to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris later expressed beliefs that Bob is half-Sonichu and is apparently still alive in the [[CWCville]] dimension. These beliefs began around December 2017 and continued even after the Idea Guys had been removed from power, as shown by the below quote from 2018's Father's Day.

{{quotebox|[[File:Father's Day 2018.jpg|200px|thumb]]

<nowiki>#HappyFathersDay</nowiki> to each and every Father in This World and in Every Single Other Dimension Too! My father is alive again! I still love him, even in his checker-patterned glory! ⚡️💙❤️⚡️<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20191211070743/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1008449921387778048</ref>}}

In the [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]], Chris claimed he was better at [[Affair with Mother|pleasuring]] [[Barb]] than his own father. One can only imagine Bob's reaction to this news if he were still alive to bear witness to what his son has become.

Despite his best efforts to the contrary, Chris, his second chance at being a father, was Bob's greatest failure as a parent, even when factoring in his strained relationship with his other children.

===Other relationships===
In spite of his redneck background, Bob seems to have gotten along better with foreigners than with his own countrymen. His closest friend in Richmond was Reverend Chen of Korean Canaan Presbyterian Church,<ref>[[Date with Emily#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> and he had English friends through his involvement with Matt's British Pub.<ref name=godbear></ref> He also had friends in Australia,<ref>BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7</ref> and Czechoslovakian friends in late 1970s, who were illegal immigrants escaping Czechoslovakia. Chris said Bob and Barb enjoyed conversing and drinking {{w|Slivovitz}} with them and that Bob would drive to Maryland to buy Slivovitz.<ref>[[Regina_e-mails#Random-access_humor_demonstration]]</ref>

From his father's second marriage, Bob had, "...a large number of half-brothers and sisters in... [[wikipedia:Winston-Salem, North Carolina|Salem, North Carolina]],"<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris]]</ref> but he does not seem to have been very close with them. Bob's stepmother's obituary confirms that eight of these half-siblings were alive as of 2015.<ref>https://www.hufffuneralhome.com/obituary/Dorothy-Chandler</ref>

[[Prank calls#Call Bobby Chandler|Contrary to popular beliefs]], he did not have friends in the Ku Klux Klan.

==Later life, poor health and death==
{{See also|Death of Bob Chandler}}
[[File:Bob playbill for musical push cart.jpg|thumb|200px|Playbill for Mr. C. and his musical pushcart.]]

Bob lived on Social Security as well as his General Electric pension.<ref name = "Retired Life" /> He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to [[Trolls|total strangers]] on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to 'swing with the music' on his swing there.<ref name="Retired Life" />

Bob had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple-bypass operations took place first in August 1980 and at last in 1992. He had {{w|Coronary artery disease}} and wore an {{w|Artificial cardiac pacemaker|artificial pacemaker}}.<ref>[[Autism papers#FAMILY_HISTORY:]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> He apparently had several vivid near-death experiences: during [[Date with Emily#Bob's health problems (0:24:23–0:25:29)|Chris's date with]] [[Emily]], Bob tells her that he has "died" several times, and Chris says that Bob, "...has seen the light, but did not actually go to it." In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build-up in his legs, which is symptomatic of CHF. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at [[Burger King]] daily.<ref>[[Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris]]</ref><ref>[[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)]]</ref> Bob had voted for the sheriff of Greene County, John Scott Haas, and also met him at a fruit stand while he was running for office (which could've been around either [[2003]] or [[2007]]).<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref>

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|tweeted]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [sic] {{w|heart failure}}". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, [[trolls]] and [[White-Knights|white knights]] alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose [[Chris and his ego|when Chris was inclined to complain about it online]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201210121845/https://www.healthline.com/health/chf-life-expectancy]</ref> but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and [[Tour of Chris's House|lifestyle]] made this a very serious situation.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. His silence on the subject of his father was probably because of [[Naïve|genuine ignorance]] of the seriousness of his father's condition.

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."<ref>[[:File:Bobbetter.jpg]]</ref> Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well". Chris was, at least, half right.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
{{quote|Christian, you are not a girl! Go put your pants back on.|Bob, ''Sonichu'' #12}}

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb]]

In [[Sonichu 8#Spring Break, 2008!|"Spring Break, 2008"]], a radio announcement from [[Jamsta Sonichu]] mentions that Bob founded [[CWCville]] in 1982, presumably after Chris's birth on [[Chris's birthday|24 February]] given that Bob named the city after his newborn son. Comic Bob presumably served as mayor before Chris took the office at an unknown date. At other points, Bob was mentioned in Chris's tangents about hating men other than himself and his father.

In [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|"Date Ed"]], there are two dolls for the class to practice talking to, girls received "Robert" dolls, while boys received "Barbara" dolls, an obvious reference/homage to Bob and Barb.

Bob made his first official appearance in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Barb and various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

[[File:Bob,Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|right]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Bob appears in a set of pages that combine an autobiographical account of Chris coming out as a [[tomgirl]] to his parents, and a tribute to his late father. He is depicted as an elderly man, as the page took place in 2010 (due to Chris's [[Oedipus complex]], Barb is depicted as much more youthful). He attempts to dissuade Chris from continuing his tomgirl lifestyle, although Chris states that Bob later, "...told me he accepts and love ''[sic]'' me for who I am," shortly before his passing in 2011.

Chris concludes Bob's appearance in the book with a photo in memoriam of his life, saying that he and Barb continue to miss him every day.

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Bob, pictured at right, as ''Gallop Crush'', in a [[MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying that they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]. The ponified Bob, known as "Gallop Crush", appears as [[Night Star]]'s father, reaffirming the self-insert nature of Chris's ponysona.

In the [[Idea Guy]]-written [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]], Bob's spirit crosses over into CWCville where he meets and strikes up a conversation with serial killer [[Ted Bundy]].

{{Mayors of CWCville}}

===As a toy===

<center><gallery>
File:BobAmiibo.jpg|[[Amiibo]] Bob, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]]. Oh yes.
File:ChrisFamilyEtsyC.jpg|Promo drawing
</gallery></center>

===Audio and video===

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).

* [[1990]]: Bob appeared as the DJ to the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the [[Chris in the media|Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
*[[Christmas|25 December]] [[2004]]: Bob makes multiple physical appearences in [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004]], where he appears remarkably depressed.
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]] in the [[kitchen]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church Visit|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the house tour, (incorrectly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn Internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also is audible at the end of the call.
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these. He was usually sincere when talking with prank callers, providing them with true and honest information about himself and Chris, but was occasionally pushed to trolling them back, on one occasion telling a particularly obnoxious pair of trolls that he had ties to the Ku Klux Klan.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Bob1946Auburn.jpg|Bob's Auburn freshman yearbook photo, taken for the 1946 yearbook.
File:BobJax1950.PNG|Bob's 1950 Jacksonville State Teachers College sophomore yearbook photo.
File:Bobauburn1951.PNG|Bob's 1951 Auburn junior yearbook photo.
File:Bobauburn1952.PNG|Bob's Auburn senior yearbook photo.
File:WW2BobChandler(badquality).jpg|Bob's 1946 U.S. Army draftee (written in 1945).
File:Bob1946WW2DraftCardPhysicalDetail.png|Bob's 1946 Draft card on a physical detail (written in 1945).
File:BobPatMarriage.png|Bob and Patricia's newspaper engagement.
File:1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.png|1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.
File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png|1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.
File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.
File:Bob and his parents - 1930s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1930s census.
File:Bob and his parents - 1940s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1940s census.
File:Bob1950Census.jpg|Bob in the Jacksonville State Teachers University's dormitory room - 1950s census.
File:Bob's birth certificate.png|Bob's birth certificate.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
File:RobertChandler1960s.png|Bob in the late 1960s/early 1970s
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Christmas at the Chandlers, taken sometime during the 1980s.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg
File:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|
File:1993family.png|Barb, Chris and Bob in [[1993]]
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|
File:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
File:0090-Christmas95-5.jpg
File:0091-Christmas95-6.jpg
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|
File:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg
File:0473-CWC18th4.jpg
File:0114-MomsBirthday97-2.jpg
File:0115-MomsBirthday97-3.jpg
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|
File:Bob&BarbMay2000.png|
File:Bob1997article1.png|Bob's short brief article from Richmond Times-Dispatch in July 1997.
File:Bob1997article2.png|Bob's short brief article from Richmond Times-Dispatch in August 1997.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|Bob used to enjoy gardening back in the day.
File:0472-CWC18th3.jpg
File:Robert Chandler, 19 June 2016 Facebook post photo.jpg
File:2002 BrickFest7.jpg|Bob with Chris at [[BrickFest]] [[2001]].
File:2002 BrickFest10.jpg
File:0612-DaddyIs75.jpg|75th birthday.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG
Image:Bob_80th.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

==External links==
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20201210122203/https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/141038783/robert-franklin-chandler Bob Chandler at Find a Grave]

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Chris and hypocrisy

2026-09-23T13:01:14Z

WarnerBro:

{{quote|You're all just immature, [[naïve]], condescending, soulless monsters. You don't care about others, [[Chris and his ego|you only care about yourselves]]. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- [[Chris and socialization|you don't have your own social life]]!|[[Chris]], describing himself.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost 30 years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]''.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref>

Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards that he himself does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious [[Chris and introspection|introspection and self-examination]] due to his [[autism]] (but on a more self-inflicted level, his [[ego]]). He's so strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change the world into one where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Chris and stress|feel uncomfortable]], [[Sonic Boom Protests|suffer any inconveniences]], or be forced to actually [[Chris and work|put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "You grow up!" - Maturity ===
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!|Chris<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref>}}

In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up". This was coming from a 27 year-old who was living with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits himself]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his 30s, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay and, like him, are rarely gainfully employed. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]" in reference to his much hated [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

==="Spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job)" - [[Chris and work|Work]] ===
{{quote|I say move on; GET A JOB, DUDE.|Chris<ref name="mail7">[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his [[Chris's resume|résumé]] from 2009, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work. Chris sometimes claims he was supervising or babysitting the children involved,<ref>[[Father Call#The Pokémon Volunteer Who Lives with His Parents (4:28-11:01)|Father Call (4:28-11:01)]]</ref> where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The GAMe PLACe|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]] (and still ended up [[List of places that have banned Chris|getting banned]] anyway).

Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoided searching for employment to focus on merchandising ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing [[Chris and race|tolerance]] and [[Chris and kindness|respect]] for other people, and [[Megan Schroeder|keeping his hands off women]].

=== "These busses are full of nutty 'slow-in-the-minds.'" - Other people with mental disabilities ===
{{quote|yeeeeeah... generally, I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional; it would be like looking through a window to hell to me.|Chris <ref name="irc1708">[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>}}

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[Chris and money|money]] and/or [[White knights|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autism|autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref name="irc1708" /> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[Chris and his ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues who need to be in the [[Dating education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.

Inversely, while Chris has repeatedly displayed intolerance of other autistics (and special-needs folks in general), he has also outright accused [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|some]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_out_of_English|authority]] [[Michael Snyder|figures]] of discrimination towards autistics due to incidents that negatively impacted ''[[Chris and his ego|him]]'' in some way, even going so far as to [[Greene County Conspiracy|machinate a belief]] that a local school board conspired with a game store manager to ruin his life.

=== "I'll pray for you to open your mind" - Tolerance ===
{{quote|...obviously you have not opened your mind to all things in life, and your religion is a closed-minded one.|Chris, shortly after condemning homosexuality<ref name="mail7" />}}

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]] on a routine basis, and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Muscle bra|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay"]], though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010|Common Questions, January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I shoved them up my ass" - [[Homos|Homosexuality]] ===
{{quote|While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page (the Wikipedia page on "effeminacy") is against us, due to it addressing the homos.|Chris<ref>[[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.

In his [[Date Ed#Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future|essay about]] his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea for [[dating education]], he claims that homosexual relations are "unnatural", [[Honor roll|despite over 300 species of animals]], including [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?|bonobos]], practicing it. Apparently, there is only one species that practices homophobia. Go figure.

In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris had no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music that is also iconic with gay men, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]] and [[Britney Spears]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]], and has shoved enough [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass to warrant [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|an entire CWCki page on the subject]].<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as stereotypically gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "No female soul whatsoever" - [[Transphobia]] ===
While Chris has requested that people respect his identity change after coming out as [[transgender]], he has not demonstrated this same courtesy to another transgender person on one occasion - while under the [[manipulation]] of troll character [[Jeff/Francine]], a purported transwoman, Chris used her deadname (Jeff). He also mocked the status of Francine's gender transitioning and called her a "lady-man".<ref>[[Doxing_Jeff/Francine]]</ref> Soon after, he used masculine pronouns to describe Francine, said that she was "no woman", and mocked the fact that she went through a gender reassignment surgery, [[Chris and his ego|while also boasting about his own progress in transitioning]] (despite the fact that he looks largely the same as he did pre-transition, only growing his hair out and looking more bloated than usual).<ref>[[I Am me; He is not]]</ref>

In spite of this, the Jeff/Francine example has proven to be an anomaly, as Chris has used preferred pronouns and identities of other transgender people, such as the MTF violet4151<ref>[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To]]</ref> and [[Miss Cherry]], and the FTM Lukas of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] and [[Nowacking]].

=== "You thieving impostor!" - Chris's creations ===
{{quote|Jack Thaddeus... is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic [[Asperchu]]|Chris, the TRUE AND HONEST creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], complaining about fan fiction.<ref name="dwasperchu">[[Down with Asperchu]]</ref>}}

Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions, December 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref name="dwasperchu" /> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' – he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work. One particularly glaring example of this double standard comes in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where Bugs Bunny scolds [[Jimmy Hill]] for using Chris's characters without permission, never mind the fact that Chris is doing the exact same thing by appropriating Bugs in such a way.

Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels – [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

=== "I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube" - Privacy ===
{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.|Chris, encouraging people to troll his former friend. <ref>[[Daniel_Mimms#Facebook|Facebook posts]]</ref>}}

In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.

Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref> This could possibly stem from Chris being unfavorably featured on local news with a [[I Got A Fish|video]] of his.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even afterward, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."

[[File:Facebook post 9 June 2012.png|thumb|right|150px|Quite possibly a troll.]]
While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted Chris, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.

=== "He sets me on fire!" - Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]
It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.

The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad since he barely shot him in the legs.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of ''[[Asperchu]]'', Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off [[Sonichu 10]] with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true), Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his own daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Chris and race#Black_people|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.

==="Sonichus in the basement" - [[Alec Benson Leary]]===
Chris is not only hypocritical in the rage he feels when someone makes an [[asperchu|unlicensed parody]] of his unlicensed parody, but he believes that doing so is against the wishes of the characters and [[Chris and reality|hurts their feelings somehow]]. However, him literally [[January_2021_social_media_posts#Bodyswap_announcement|taking over the body of Sonichu and dressing it in drag]] to the explicit discomfort of Sonichu is okay. Obviously, the entire thing is made up but it's real to Chris and therefore still counts.

==="Well-Informed to Expert in sex" - Women===
Chris's hypocrisy was also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." When this rule was in place, Chris did not have a job, had no prospects for a job, and lived on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dated must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris could [[Chris and money|squander]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris was an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demanded that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris had made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refused to consider any girl with the same condition.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[Simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''

Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.

==="I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross" - Mature content===
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip through his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.

Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag 47#Children will be seeing furry porn in real life|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.

==="I am removing myself from the Internet" - Leaving the Internet forever ===
{{quote|I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HOOKING UP ONLINE; IN-PERSON OR BUST FOR ME.|Chris<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010]]</ref>}}

On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload ''Sonichu'' comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the ''Sonichu'' comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN.

Although he did stop posting videos for a while after [[Bob]]'s death, he remained active online, most visibly posting to [[Facebook]]. That all changed, however, when Chris uploaded [[I Love You, Catherine|a surprise video]] in [[October 2014]].

==="Now she's with a real man" - Romantic rivalry===
{{quote|...you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over? |Chris, trying to entice a woman to cheat on her boyfriend.<ref>[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref>}}

One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.

And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==="I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways..." - Flamboyancy===
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|Hear that, homos? Chris is offended by your flamboyance!]]

When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals, saying that it's like homos are shoving their flamboyancy in your face. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.

What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].

==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===

Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris and the law#Timeline|he himself has also committed.]]

After watching YouTube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]

When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was dating a girl named [[Kathleen]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself, then aged 28, winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.

Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that harassment is [[Love Quest|what Chris does best]]. Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word "banned" means, [[28 October 2011|he was to appear in front of a judge]].

In the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.

Chris has also expressed hatred of police (even going so far as to coin [[Jerkop|his own disparaging term for them]]) because they dared to take action against his loitering and other things, but that didn't stop him from [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|threatening his trolls that detectives and police would be sicced upon them if they didn't remove their copies of his house tour]]. [[2024|Nearly 15 years later]], Chris similarly [[May 2024 social media posts#Stalker gets caught on security camera|warned of intent to report stalkers if he caught any on the security camera of his newer house]]. Keep in mind that this comes after Chris had spent a year released from jail for [[Affair With Mother|arguably the worst crime he has ever committed]].

==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===

In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild Ahuviya Harel, the man/woman he believed was Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion]] other than the bits condemning homosexuality and believes that the Federal Government [[A Public Announcement for Congress|just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some]] [[Russia|people]] who did some not very nice things in its name and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that Adolf Hitler was not a communist and in fact [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]].

Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular, during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies.

While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].

==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity===
Chris seems to be [[Facial blindness|completely unaware of his own weight]], possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.

And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat". He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people – during his [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile", adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.

==="Sonic's arms are NOT blue!!!" - Blue Arms===
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|200px|"I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"]]

In 2014, Chris began [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ''Sonic Boom'' due to the relatively minor change of making the famed hedgehog's arms blue instead of their usual fleshy color. Chris's hatred for this insignificant change is so passionate that he [[26 December 2014|actually got himself arrested for assaulting a GameStop employee]] after said employee tried to stop him from vandalizing ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise. However, Chris is guilty of exactly the same thing, because in his first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, he is depicted with blue arms. Furthermore, [[Nintendo employee reveals details of Chris's Nintendo transactions|documents]] were leaked on 12 [[January 2015]], revealing that Chris actually has both ''Sonic Boom'' games. Naturally, he felt the need to post a long tirade on his Facebook, denying he bought either game and that the copies he received were gifts from his [[Catherine|then-girlfriend]]'s cousin and an anonymous troll (though the post stated he registered a physical Wii U disc and a digital 3DS copy, and Chris claimed he only registered a physical 3DS copy).

==="Worrying Mongoose Knows How You Feel!" - Memes===
On 18 [[December 2014]], Chris posted a long tirade on why he hates trolls, as well as a section dedicated to his sheer anger after playing the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'', and his comparing of famous memes in the game to trolls. However, Chris is guilty of using memes, because [[January 2015|the next month]], he posted an image macro featuring Sunil the Mongoose from the 2012 ''Littlest Pet Shop'' series, detailing his feel of worry.

==="Parodies in jest" - Maturity===
In October 2016, Chris [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest|criticized]] then Presidential Candidate [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], saying that he should have taken "[[Asperchu|a parody]] [[Liquid Chris|of himself]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|in jest]]."

==="He is very spiteful" - Spite===
In July 2016, Chris said that [[Pmurt]] "is very spiteful."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card|July 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref>

In November, upon Pmurt winning the US election, Chris reacted by making multiple [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|death threats]] and [[Feelings of the election results|prayers]].

==="Womanizing and raping actions" - Sexual Misconduct===
In November 2016, Chris called President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] a womanizer and a rapist, in reference to molestation allegations against him. Chris himself has molested [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Catherine|women]], and, unlike Trump, most of [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_is_fed_up|these incidents]] are [[Catherine#The_bowling_outing|well documented]]. Chris doesn't seem to grasp the concept that women aren't into being touched by him. While he bragged to Catherine that he's learned to respect women's personal space after the Megan fiasco, he disproved himself soon after by planting his face into her breasts. However, Chris still thinks Trump's sexual misconduct is enough to justify his [[Death Threats|death prayers]] against the President-elect.

In 2018, Chris unconsensually kissed people on the cheek at a [[TooManyGames|convention]] and then, a month later, went on to tell people to not harass him and respect the rules at another [[BronyCon 2018|convention]].<ref>[[BronyCon 2018#Day 1]]</ref>

And his statements aren't the ''only'' time he has railed against someone for (alleged) perverse intent despite his own dirty laundry. For quite a while, he asserted that [[Bruce Johnson|his elementary school principal]] was molesting him and he denounced [[The GAMe PLACe]] for the fact that its owner was a sex offender (even going so far as to baselessly accuse [[Michael Snyder|his then-nemesis]] of being an incestuous pedophile).

As mentioned, he himself has molested various others (and once [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rapped about himself forcibly siring children with a woman trying to elude his sexual advances]]). As for incest accusations, he would later [[Affair with Mother|initiate sex with his elderly mother]].

===Don't end up "as a full-on Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" - Kindness===
In January 2017, Chris typed out an [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Open letter to Barron Trump|open letter to Barron Trump]], in which he urges Barron not to become a "Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical [[JERKS|Male]]" like his father, President Trump. This came after two months of Chris [[Pmurt#Death Threats|constantly trying to organize prayers for the elder Trump's death]]. As for [[Chris and his ego|ego]], Chris spent much of the essay whining about how trolls affected his own life.

==="If people didn’t overspend so much..." - Finances===
In [[May 2019]], Chris commented on an article about excessive spending of public funds by a former EPA chief, criticizing people for overspending. This was only a day after he went to court for [[debt]], a consequence of [[Chris and money#Chris and impulse spending|reckless spending on toys and video games]]. Chris also bemoaned inflation, blaming it on people getting "greedy for the green".

Only three days prior, he sold a dirty old blanket on [[eBay]] for $200,<ref>[[2019 Sales Listings#Rainbow Pride Throw Blanket|2019 Sales Listings]]</ref> which is only a minor episode in Chris's [[Financhu Crisis|long history of e-begging]] to sustain the Chandlers' aforementioned habit of wasting funds on useless garbage, alongside his [[Chris and money|irresponsible spending habits in general]].

==="Break your own Fourth Wall!" - Dimensions===

On [[November 2019]], Chris has made a string of Twitter posts telling people to "break their [[Fourth Wall|fourth wall]]" in order to interact with the OC's living in their home dimensions. The term "[[OC]]" is what Chris uses to refer to any of the characters found within a cartoon. Chris believes that these characters are all sentient beings with their own consciences and feelings. Fast forward to a few days later, Chris becomes enraged when he sees the promo of [[Pony Life]]. Believing it to be a cartoon along the lines of Teen Titans Go solely due to its art style, Chris began starting rallies against the show on his Twitter account, spamming both Hasbro and people who showed any interest in the show with complaints. He even claims that he desires to kill all of the characters within the show itself by having it cancelled.

=== "Can't we just forgive and forget?" - Forgiveness ===
Every so often, Chris will do something that serves to bother or even negatively impact those around him, be it loitering in a [[Get-Tar Region|retail]] [[Mal-Wart|setting]] to seek out a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], [[26 December 2014| assaulting employees of stores he was banned from]], [[Affair with Mother|engaging in sex with his elderly mother]] and so forth. Once he realizes he's in trouble and others have reacted negatively to any of his shenanigans, he'll sometimes [[Chris and remorse|try to serve an apology]] to whichever parties were hurt in the situation. Naturally, Chris's feeble and hollow expression of remorse is quickly denied, at which point he is bound to take such a thing personally.

A good example would be Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|recording of an attempt to persuade]] [[Michael Snyder]] to revoke his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. When Chris's insincerity was point-blank rejected and he was urged to leave, Chris got indignant and pleaded for Snyder to "forgive and forget". Ironically, before and after this incident, Chris had been harboring complete animosity towards Snyder and the store itself to the point where [[28 October 2011|he eventually committed a hit-and-run against the then-newer owner himself]].

Even when [[This is how the Trial went|the case had been taken to court]], Chris refused to let go of his unjustified hatred towards Snyder, such that when informed he was to cover medical expenses (as part of a plea bargain to ensure Chris wouldn't suffer from a criminal record, mind you), he openly referred to the very man who had just arranged to make the case easier for him as a 'thieving liar'.

Even outside of that, Chris isn't really in any position whatsoever to chide others for a lack of forgiveness, considering one of many things he is infamous for is [[Chris and anger|a tendency to fly into extreme rage]] against others for perceived slights and/or attacks on him, sometimes going so far as to unleash [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|a "curse"]] or even [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|desire for them to be killed outright]]. Not just that, but he has even held years-long grudges against the aforementioned Michael Snyder, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Megan Schroeder]], all for things that were his own fault in the first place.

It should come as no surprise that even in [[Sonichu (comic)|his magnum opus]], Chris will screw up a message of forgiveness almost immediately after he says it. In [[Sonichu #8]], Rosechu reminds Sonichu of the importance of forgiveness but near the end of the same volume, a single [[Pickle|pickle]] getting thrown at her induces transformation into [[The Incredible Lioness]], whereupon she brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in retaliation.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[True and Loyal Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Chris and morality]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}

Chris and hypocrisy

2026-09-23T12:54:56Z

WarnerBro:

{{quote|You're all just immature, [[naïve]], condescending, soulless monsters. You don't care about others, [[Chris and his ego|you only care about yourselves]]. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- [[Chris and socialization|you don't have your own social life]]!|[[Chris]], describing himself.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost 30 years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]''.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref>

Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards that he himself does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious [[Chris and introspection|introspection and self-examination]] due to his [[autism]] (but on a more self-inflicted level, his [[ego]]). He's so strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change the world into one where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Chris and stress|feel uncomfortable]], [[Sonic Boom Protests|suffer any inconveniences]], or be forced to actually [[Chris and work|put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "You grow up!" - Maturity ===
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!|Chris<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref>}}

In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up". This was coming from a 27 year-old who was living with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits himself]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his 30s, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay and, like him, are rarely gainfully employed. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]" in reference to his much hated [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

==="Spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job)" - [[Chris and work|Work]] ===
{{quote|I say move on; GET A JOB, DUDE.|Chris<ref name="mail7">[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his [[Chris's resume|résumé]] from 2009, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work. Chris sometimes claims he was supervising or babysitting the children involved,<ref>[[Father Call#The Pokémon Volunteer Who Lives with His Parents (4:28-11:01)|Father Call (4:28-11:01)]]</ref> where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The GAMe PLACe|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]] (and still ended up [[List of places that have banned Chris|getting banned]] anyway).

Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoided searching for employment to focus on merchandising ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing [[Chris and race|tolerance]] and [[Chris and kindness|respect]] for other people, and [[Megan Schroeder|keeping his hands off women]].

=== "These busses are full of nutty 'slow-in-the-minds.'" - Other people with mental disabilities ===
{{quote|yeeeeeah... generally, I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional; it would be like looking through a window to hell to me.|Chris <ref name="irc1708">[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>}}

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[Chris and money|money]] and/or [[White knights|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autism|autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref name="irc1708" /> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[Chris and his ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues who need to be in the [[Dating education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.

Inversely, while Chris has repeatedly displayed intolerance of other autistics (and special-needs folks in general), he has also outright accused [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|some]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_out_of_English|authority]] [[Michael Snyder|figures]] of discrimination towards autistics due to incidents that negatively impacted ''[[Chris and his ego|him]]'' in some way, even going so far as to [[Greene County Conspiracy|machinate a belief]] that a local school board conspired with a game store manager to ruin his life.

=== "I'll pray for you to open your mind" - Tolerance ===
{{quote|...obviously you have not opened your mind to all things in life, and your religion is a closed-minded one.|Chris, shortly after condemning homosexuality<ref name="mail7" />}}

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]] on a routine basis, and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Muscle bra|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay"]], though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010|Common Questions, January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I shoved them up my ass" - [[Homos|Homosexuality]] ===
{{quote|While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page (the Wikipedia page on "effeminacy") is against us, due to it addressing the homos.|Chris<ref>[[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.

In his [[Date Ed#Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future|essay about]] his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea for [[dating education]], he claims that homosexual relations are "unnatural", [[Honor roll|despite over 300 species of animals]], including [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?|bonobos]], practicing it. Apparently, there is only one species that practices homophobia. Go figure.

In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris had no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music that is also iconic with gay men, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]] and [[Britney Spears]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]], and has shoved enough [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass to warrant [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|an entire CWCki page on the subject]].<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as stereotypically gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "No female soul whatsoever" - [[Transphobia]] ===
While Chris has requested that people respect his identity change after coming out as [[transgender]], he has not demonstrated this same courtesy to another transgender person on one occasion - while under the [[manipulation]] of troll character [[Jeff/Francine]], a purported transwoman, Chris used her deadname (Jeff). He also mocked the status of Francine's gender transitioning and called her a "lady-man".<ref>[[Doxing_Jeff/Francine]]</ref> Soon after, he used masculine pronouns to describe Francine, said that she was "no woman", and mocked the fact that she went through a gender reassignment surgery, [[Chris and his ego|while also boasting about his own progress in transitioning]] (despite the fact that he looks largely the same as he did pre-transition, only growing his hair out and looking more bloated than usual).<ref>[[I Am me; He is not]]</ref>

In spite of this, the Jeff/Francine example has proven to be an anomaly, as Chris has used preferred pronouns and identities of other transgender people, such as the MTF violet4151<ref>[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To]]</ref> and [[Miss Cherry]], and the FTM Lukas of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] and [[Nowacking]].

=== "You thieving impostor!" - Chris's creations ===
{{quote|Jack Thaddeus... is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic [[Asperchu]]|Chris, the TRUE AND HONEST creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], complaining about fan fiction.<ref name="dwasperchu">[[Down with Asperchu]]</ref>}}

Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions, December 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref name="dwasperchu" /> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' – he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work. One particularly glaring example of this double standard comes in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where Bugs Bunny scolds [[Jimmy Hill]] for using Chris's characters without permission, never mind the fact that Chris is doing the exact same thing by appropriating Bugs in such a way.

Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels – [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

=== "I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube" - Privacy ===
{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.|Chris, encouraging people to troll his former friend. <ref>[[Daniel_Mimms#Facebook|Facebook posts]]</ref>}}

In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.

Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref> This could possibly stem from Chris being unfavorably featured on local news with a [[I Got A Fish|video]] of his.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even afterward, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."

[[File:Facebook post 9 June 2012.png|thumb|right|150px|Quite possibly a troll.]]
While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted Chris, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.

=== "He sets me on fire!" - Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]
It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.

The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad since he barely shot him in the legs.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of ''[[Asperchu]]'', Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off [[Sonichu 10]] with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true), Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his own daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.

==="Sonichus in the basement" - [[Alec Benson Leary]]===
Chris is not only hypocritical in the rage he feels when someone makes an [[asperchu|unlicensed parody]] of his unlicensed parody, but he believes that doing so is against the wishes of the characters and [[Chris and reality|hurts their feelings somehow]]. However, him literally [[January_2021_social_media_posts#Bodyswap_announcement|taking over the body of Sonichu and dressing it in drag]] to the explicit discomfort of Sonichu is okay. Obviously, the entire thing is made up but it's real to Chris and therefore still counts.

==="Well-Informed to Expert in sex" - Women===
Chris's hypocrisy was also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." When this rule was in place, Chris did not have a job, had no prospects for a job, and lived on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dated must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris could [[Chris and money|squander]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris was an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demanded that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris had made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refused to consider any girl with the same condition.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[Simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''

Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.

==="I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross" - Mature content===
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip through his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.

Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag 47#Children will be seeing furry porn in real life|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.

==="I am removing myself from the Internet" - Leaving the Internet forever ===
{{quote|I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HOOKING UP ONLINE; IN-PERSON OR BUST FOR ME.|Chris<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010]]</ref>}}

On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload ''Sonichu'' comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the ''Sonichu'' comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN.

Although he did stop posting videos for a while after [[Bob]]'s death, he remained active online, most visibly posting to [[Facebook]]. That all changed, however, when Chris uploaded [[I Love You, Catherine|a surprise video]] in [[October 2014]].

==="Now she's with a real man" - Romantic rivalry===
{{quote|...you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over? |Chris, trying to entice a woman to cheat on her boyfriend.<ref>[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref>}}

One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.

And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==="I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways..." - Flamboyancy===
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|Hear that, homos? Chris is offended by your flamboyance!]]

When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals, saying that it's like homos are shoving their flamboyancy in your face. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.

What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].

==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===

Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris and the law#Timeline|he himself has also committed.]]

After watching YouTube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]

When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was dating a girl named [[Kathleen]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself, then aged 28, winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.

Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that harassment is [[Love Quest|what Chris does best]]. Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word "banned" means, [[28 October 2011|he was to appear in front of a judge]].

In the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.

Chris has also expressed hatred of police (even going so far as to coin [[Jerkop|his own disparaging term for them]]) because they dared to take action against his loitering and other things, but that didn't stop him from [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|threatening his trolls that detectives and police would be sicced upon them if they didn't remove their copies of his house tour]]. [[2024|Nearly 15 years later]], Chris similarly [[May 2024 social media posts#Stalker gets caught on security camera|warned of intent to report stalkers if he caught any on the security camera of his newer house]]. Keep in mind that this comes after Chris had spent a year released from jail for [[Affair With Mother|arguably the worst crime he has ever committed]].

==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===

In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild Ahuviya Harel, the man/woman he believed was Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion]] other than the bits condemning homosexuality and believes that the Federal Government [[A Public Announcement for Congress|just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some]] [[Russia|people]] who did some not very nice things in its name and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that Adolf Hitler was not a communist and in fact [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]].

Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular, during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies.

While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].

==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity===
Chris seems to be [[Facial blindness|completely unaware of his own weight]], possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.

And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat". He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people – during his [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile", adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.

==="Sonic's arms are NOT blue!!!" - Blue Arms===
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|200px|"I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"]]

In 2014, Chris began [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ''Sonic Boom'' due to the relatively minor change of making the famed hedgehog's arms blue instead of their usual fleshy color. Chris's hatred for this insignificant change is so passionate that he [[26 December 2014|actually got himself arrested for assaulting a GameStop employee]] after said employee tried to stop him from vandalizing ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise. However, Chris is guilty of exactly the same thing, because in his first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, he is depicted with blue arms. Furthermore, [[Nintendo employee reveals details of Chris's Nintendo transactions|documents]] were leaked on 12 [[January 2015]], revealing that Chris actually has both ''Sonic Boom'' games. Naturally, he felt the need to post a long tirade on his Facebook, denying he bought either game and that the copies he received were gifts from his [[Catherine|then-girlfriend]]'s cousin and an anonymous troll (though the post stated he registered a physical Wii U disc and a digital 3DS copy, and Chris claimed he only registered a physical 3DS copy).

==="Worrying Mongoose Knows How You Feel!" - Memes===
On 18 [[December 2014]], Chris posted a long tirade on why he hates trolls, as well as a section dedicated to his sheer anger after playing the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'', and his comparing of famous memes in the game to trolls. However, Chris is guilty of using memes, because [[January 2015|the next month]], he posted an image macro featuring Sunil the Mongoose from the 2012 ''Littlest Pet Shop'' series, detailing his feel of worry.

==="Parodies in jest" - Maturity===
In October 2016, Chris [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest|criticized]] then Presidential Candidate [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], saying that he should have taken "[[Asperchu|a parody]] [[Liquid Chris|of himself]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|in jest]]."

==="He is very spiteful" - Spite===
In July 2016, Chris said that [[Pmurt]] "is very spiteful."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card|July 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref>

In November, upon Pmurt winning the US election, Chris reacted by making multiple [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|death threats]] and [[Feelings of the election results|prayers]].

==="Womanizing and raping actions" - Sexual Misconduct===
In November 2016, Chris called President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] a womanizer and a rapist, in reference to molestation allegations against him. Chris himself has molested [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Catherine|women]], and, unlike Trump, most of [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_is_fed_up|these incidents]] are [[Catherine#The_bowling_outing|well documented]]. Chris doesn't seem to grasp the concept that women aren't into being touched by him. While he bragged to Catherine that he's learned to respect women's personal space after the Megan fiasco, he disproved himself soon after by planting his face into her breasts. However, Chris still thinks Trump's sexual misconduct is enough to justify his [[Death Threats|death prayers]] against the President-elect.

In 2018, Chris unconsensually kissed people on the cheek at a [[TooManyGames|convention]] and then, a month later, went on to tell people to not harass him and respect the rules at another [[BronyCon 2018|convention]].<ref>[[BronyCon 2018#Day 1]]</ref>

And his statements aren't the ''only'' time he has railed against someone for (alleged) perverse intent despite his own dirty laundry. For quite a while, he asserted that [[Bruce Johnson|his elementary school principal]] was molesting him and he denounced [[The GAMe PLACe]] for the fact that its owner was a sex offender (even going so far as to baselessly accuse [[Michael Snyder|his then-nemesis]] of being an incestuous pedophile).

As mentioned, he himself has molested various others (and once [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rapped about himself forcibly siring children with a woman trying to elude his sexual advances]]). As for incest accusations, he would later [[Affair with Mother|initiate sex with his elderly mother]].

===Don't end up "as a full-on Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" - Kindness===
In January 2017, Chris typed out an [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Open letter to Barron Trump|open letter to Barron Trump]], in which he urges Barron not to become a "Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical [[JERKS|Male]]" like his father, President Trump. This came after two months of Chris [[Pmurt#Death Threats|constantly trying to organize prayers for the elder Trump's death]]. As for [[Chris and his ego|ego]], Chris spent much of the essay whining about how trolls affected his own life.

==="If people didn’t overspend so much..." - Finances===
In [[May 2019]], Chris commented on an article about excessive spending of public funds by a former EPA chief, criticizing people for overspending. This was only a day after he went to court for [[debt]], a consequence of [[Chris and money#Chris and impulse spending|reckless spending on toys and video games]]. Chris also bemoaned inflation, blaming it on people getting "greedy for the green".

Only three days prior, he sold a dirty old blanket on [[eBay]] for $200,<ref>[[2019 Sales Listings#Rainbow Pride Throw Blanket|2019 Sales Listings]]</ref> which is only a minor episode in Chris's [[Financhu Crisis|long history of e-begging]] to sustain the Chandlers' aforementioned habit of wasting funds on useless garbage, alongside his [[Chris and money|irresponsible spending habits in general]].

==="Break your own Fourth Wall!" - Dimensions===

On [[November 2019]], Chris has made a string of Twitter posts telling people to "break their [[Fourth Wall|fourth wall]]" in order to interact with the OC's living in their home dimensions. The term "[[OC]]" is what Chris uses to refer to any of the characters found within a cartoon. Chris believes that these characters are all sentient beings with their own consciences and feelings. Fast forward to a few days later, Chris becomes enraged when he sees the promo of [[Pony Life]]. Believing it to be a cartoon along the lines of Teen Titans Go solely due to its art style, Chris began starting rallies against the show on his Twitter account, spamming both Hasbro and people who showed any interest in the show with complaints. He even claims that he desires to kill all of the characters within the show itself by having it cancelled.

=== "Can't we just forgive and forget?" - Forgiveness ===
Every so often, Chris will do something that serves to bother or even negatively impact those around him, be it loitering in a [[Get-Tar Region|retail]] [[Mal-Wart|setting]] to seek out a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], [[26 December 2014| assaulting employees of stores he was banned from]], [[Affair with Mother|engaging in sex with his elderly mother]] and so forth. Once he realizes he's in trouble and others have reacted negatively to any of his shenanigans, he'll sometimes [[Chris and remorse|try to serve an apology]] to whichever parties were hurt in the situation. Naturally, Chris's feeble and hollow expression of remorse is quickly denied, at which point he is bound to take such a thing personally.

A good example would be Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|recording of an attempt to persuade]] [[Michael Snyder]] to revoke his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. When Chris's insincerity was point-blank rejected and he was urged to leave, Chris got indignant and pleaded for Snyder to "forgive and forget". Ironically, before and after this incident, Chris had been harboring complete animosity towards Snyder and the store itself to the point where [[28 October 2011|he eventually committed a hit-and-run against the then-newer owner himself]].

Even when [[This is how the Trial went|the case had been taken to court]], Chris refused to let go of his unjustified hatred towards Snyder, such that when informed he was to cover medical expenses (as part of a plea bargain to ensure Chris wouldn't suffer from a criminal record, mind you), he openly referred to the very man who had just arranged to make the case easier for him as a 'thieving liar'.

Even outside of that, Chris isn't really in any position whatsoever to chide others for a lack of forgiveness, considering one of many things he is infamous for is [[Chris and anger|a tendency to fly into extreme rage]] against others for perceived slights and/or attacks on him, sometimes going so far as to unleash [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|a "curse"]] or even [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|desire for them to be killed outright]]. Not just that, but he has even held years-long grudges against the aforementioned Michael Snyder, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Megan Schroeder]], all for things that were his own fault in the first place.

It should come as no surprise that even in [[Sonichu (comic)|his magnum opus]], Chris will screw up a message of forgiveness almost immediately after he says it. In [[Sonichu #8]], Rosechu reminds Sonichu of the importance of forgiveness but near the end of the same volume, a single [[Pickle|pickle]] getting thrown at her induces transformation into [[The Incredible Lioness]], whereupon she brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in retaliation.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[True and Loyal Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Chris and morality]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}

Chris and hypocrisy

2026-09-23T12:54:11Z

WarnerBro:

{{quote|You're all just immature, [[naïve]], condescending, soulless monsters. You don't care about others, [[Chris and his ego|you only care about yourselves]]. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- [[Chris and socialization|you don't have your own social life]]!|[[Chris]], describing himself.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost 30 years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]''.]]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref>

Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards that he himself does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious [[Chris and introspection|introspection and self-examination]] due to his [[autism]] (but on a more self-inflicted level, his [[ego]]). He's so strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change the world into one where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Chris and stress|feel uncomfortable]], [[Sonic Boom Protests|suffer any inconveniences]], or be forced to actually [[Chris and work|put effort into anything]]. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "You grow up!" - Maturity ===
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!|Chris<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref>}}

In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up". This was coming from a 27 year-old who was living with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits himself]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his 30s, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay and, like him, are rarely gainfully employed. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]" in reference to his much hated [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

==="Spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job)" - [[Chris and work|Work]] ===
{{quote|I say move on; GET A JOB, DUDE.|Chris<ref name="mail7">[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his [[Chris's resume|résumé]] from 2009, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work. Chris sometimes claims he was supervising or babysitting the children involved,<ref>[[Father Call#The Pokémon Volunteer Who Lives with His Parents (4:28-11:01)|Father Call (4:28-11:01)]]</ref> where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The GAMe PLACe|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]] (and still ended up [[List of places that have banned Chris|getting banned]] anyway).

Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoided searching for employment to focus on merchandising ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing [[Chris and race|tolerance]] and [[Chris and kindness|respect]] for other people, and [[Megan Schroeder|keeping his hands off women]].

=== "These busses are full of nutty 'slow-in-the-minds.'" - Other people with mental disabilities ===
{{quote|yeeeeeah... generally, I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional; it would be like looking through a window to hell to me.|Chris <ref name="irc1708">[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>}}

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[Chris and money|money]] and/or [[White knights|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autism|autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref name="irc1708" /> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[Ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues who need to be in the [[Dating education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.

Inversely, while Chris has repeatedly displayed intolerance of other autistics (and special-needs folks in general), he has also outright accused [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|some]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_out_of_English|authority]] [[Michael Snyder|figures]] of discrimination towards autistics due to incidents that negatively impacted ''[[Chris and his ego|him]]'' in some way, even going so far as to [[Greene County Conspiracy|machinate a belief]] that a local school board conspired with a game store manager to ruin his life.

=== "I'll pray for you to open your mind" - Tolerance ===
{{quote|...obviously you have not opened your mind to all things in life, and your religion is a closed-minded one.|Chris, shortly after condemning homosexuality<ref name="mail7" />}}

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]] on a routine basis, and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Muscle bra|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay"]], though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010|Common Questions, January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I shoved them up my ass" - [[Homos|Homosexuality]] ===
{{quote|While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page (the Wikipedia page on "effeminacy") is against us, due to it addressing the homos.|Chris<ref>[[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.

In his [[Date Ed#Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future|essay about]] his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea for [[dating education]], he claims that homosexual relations are "unnatural", [[Honor roll|despite over 300 species of animals]], including [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?|bonobos]], practicing it. Apparently, there is only one species that practices homophobia. Go figure.

In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris had no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music that is also iconic with gay men, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]] and [[Britney Spears]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]], and has shoved enough [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass to warrant [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|an entire CWCki page on the subject]].<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as stereotypically gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "No female soul whatsoever" - [[Transphobia]] ===
While Chris has requested that people respect his identity change after coming out as [[transgender]], he has not demonstrated this same courtesy to another transgender person on one occasion - while under the [[manipulation]] of troll character [[Jeff/Francine]], a purported transwoman, Chris used her deadname (Jeff). He also mocked the status of Francine's gender transitioning and called her a "lady-man".<ref>[[Doxing_Jeff/Francine]]</ref> Soon after, he used masculine pronouns to describe Francine, said that she was "no woman", and mocked the fact that she went through a gender reassignment surgery, [[Chris and his ego|while also boasting about his own progress in transitioning]] (despite the fact that he looks largely the same as he did pre-transition, only growing his hair out and looking more bloated than usual).<ref>[[I Am me; He is not]]</ref>

In spite of this, the Jeff/Francine example has proven to be an anomaly, as Chris has used preferred pronouns and identities of other transgender people, such as the MTF violet4151<ref>[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To]]</ref> and [[Miss Cherry]], and the FTM Lukas of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] and [[Nowacking]].

=== "You thieving impostor!" - Chris's creations ===
{{quote|Jack Thaddeus... is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic [[Asperchu]]|Chris, the TRUE AND HONEST creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], complaining about fan fiction.<ref name="dwasperchu">[[Down with Asperchu]]</ref>}}

Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions, December 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref name="dwasperchu" /> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' – he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work. One particularly glaring example of this double standard comes in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where Bugs Bunny scolds [[Jimmy Hill]] for using Chris's characters without permission, never mind the fact that Chris is doing the exact same thing by appropriating Bugs in such a way.

Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels – [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

=== "I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube" - Privacy ===
{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.|Chris, encouraging people to troll his former friend. <ref>[[Daniel_Mimms#Facebook|Facebook posts]]</ref>}}

In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.

Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref> This could possibly stem from Chris being unfavorably featured on local news with a [[I Got A Fish|video]] of his.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even afterward, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."

[[File:Facebook post 9 June 2012.png|thumb|right|150px|Quite possibly a troll.]]
While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted Chris, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.

=== "He sets me on fire!" - Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]
It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.

The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad since he barely shot him in the legs.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of ''[[Asperchu]]'', Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off [[Sonichu 10]] with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true), Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his own daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.

==="Sonichus in the basement" - [[Alec Benson Leary]]===
Chris is not only hypocritical in the rage he feels when someone makes an [[asperchu|unlicensed parody]] of his unlicensed parody, but he believes that doing so is against the wishes of the characters and [[Chris and reality|hurts their feelings somehow]]. However, him literally [[January_2021_social_media_posts#Bodyswap_announcement|taking over the body of Sonichu and dressing it in drag]] to the explicit discomfort of Sonichu is okay. Obviously, the entire thing is made up but it's real to Chris and therefore still counts.

==="Well-Informed to Expert in sex" - Women===
Chris's hypocrisy was also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." When this rule was in place, Chris did not have a job, had no prospects for a job, and lived on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dated must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris could [[Chris and money|squander]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris was an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demanded that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris had made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refused to consider any girl with the same condition.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[Simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''

Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.

==="I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross" - Mature content===
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip through his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.

Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag 47#Children will be seeing furry porn in real life|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.

==="I am removing myself from the Internet" - Leaving the Internet forever ===
{{quote|I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HOOKING UP ONLINE; IN-PERSON OR BUST FOR ME.|Chris<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010]]</ref>}}

On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload ''Sonichu'' comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the ''Sonichu'' comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN.

Although he did stop posting videos for a while after [[Bob]]'s death, he remained active online, most visibly posting to [[Facebook]]. That all changed, however, when Chris uploaded [[I Love You, Catherine|a surprise video]] in [[October 2014]].

==="Now she's with a real man" - Romantic rivalry===
{{quote|...you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over? |Chris, trying to entice a woman to cheat on her boyfriend.<ref>[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref>}}

One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.

And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==="I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways..." - Flamboyancy===
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|Hear that, homos? Chris is offended by your flamboyance!]]

When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals, saying that it's like homos are shoving their flamboyancy in your face. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.

What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].

==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===

Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris and the law#Timeline|he himself has also committed.]]

After watching YouTube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]

When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was dating a girl named [[Kathleen]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself, then aged 28, winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.

Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that harassment is [[Love Quest|what Chris does best]]. Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word "banned" means, [[28 October 2011|he was to appear in front of a judge]].

In the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.

Chris has also expressed hatred of police (even going so far as to coin [[Jerkop|his own disparaging term for them]]) because they dared to take action against his loitering and other things, but that didn't stop him from [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|threatening his trolls that detectives and police would be sicced upon them if they didn't remove their copies of his house tour]]. [[2024|Nearly 15 years later]], Chris similarly [[May 2024 social media posts#Stalker gets caught on security camera|warned of intent to report stalkers if he caught any on the security camera of his newer house]]. Keep in mind that this comes after Chris had spent a year released from jail for [[Affair With Mother|arguably the worst crime he has ever committed]].

==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===

In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild Ahuviya Harel, the man/woman he believed was Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion]] other than the bits condemning homosexuality and believes that the Federal Government [[A Public Announcement for Congress|just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some]] [[Russia|people]] who did some not very nice things in its name and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that Adolf Hitler was not a communist and in fact [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]].

Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular, during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies.

While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].

==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity===
Chris seems to be [[Facial blindness|completely unaware of his own weight]], possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.

And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat". He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people – during his [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile", adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.

==="Sonic's arms are NOT blue!!!" - Blue Arms===
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|200px|"I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"]]

In 2014, Chris began [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ''Sonic Boom'' due to the relatively minor change of making the famed hedgehog's arms blue instead of their usual fleshy color. Chris's hatred for this insignificant change is so passionate that he [[26 December 2014|actually got himself arrested for assaulting a GameStop employee]] after said employee tried to stop him from vandalizing ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise. However, Chris is guilty of exactly the same thing, because in his first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, he is depicted with blue arms. Furthermore, [[Nintendo employee reveals details of Chris's Nintendo transactions|documents]] were leaked on 12 [[January 2015]], revealing that Chris actually has both ''Sonic Boom'' games. Naturally, he felt the need to post a long tirade on his Facebook, denying he bought either game and that the copies he received were gifts from his [[Catherine|then-girlfriend]]'s cousin and an anonymous troll (though the post stated he registered a physical Wii U disc and a digital 3DS copy, and Chris claimed he only registered a physical 3DS copy).

==="Worrying Mongoose Knows How You Feel!" - Memes===
On 18 [[December 2014]], Chris posted a long tirade on why he hates trolls, as well as a section dedicated to his sheer anger after playing the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'', and his comparing of famous memes in the game to trolls. However, Chris is guilty of using memes, because [[January 2015|the next month]], he posted an image macro featuring Sunil the Mongoose from the 2012 ''Littlest Pet Shop'' series, detailing his feel of worry.

==="Parodies in jest" - Maturity===
In October 2016, Chris [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest|criticized]] then Presidential Candidate [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], saying that he should have taken "[[Asperchu|a parody]] [[Liquid Chris|of himself]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|in jest]]."

==="He is very spiteful" - Spite===
In July 2016, Chris said that [[Pmurt]] "is very spiteful."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card|July 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref>

In November, upon Pmurt winning the US election, Chris reacted by making multiple [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|death threats]] and [[Feelings of the election results|prayers]].

==="Womanizing and raping actions" - Sexual Misconduct===
In November 2016, Chris called President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] a womanizer and a rapist, in reference to molestation allegations against him. Chris himself has molested [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Catherine|women]], and, unlike Trump, most of [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_is_fed_up|these incidents]] are [[Catherine#The_bowling_outing|well documented]]. Chris doesn't seem to grasp the concept that women aren't into being touched by him. While he bragged to Catherine that he's learned to respect women's personal space after the Megan fiasco, he disproved himself soon after by planting his face into her breasts. However, Chris still thinks Trump's sexual misconduct is enough to justify his [[Death Threats|death prayers]] against the President-elect.

In 2018, Chris unconsensually kissed people on the cheek at a [[TooManyGames|convention]] and then, a month later, went on to tell people to not harass him and respect the rules at another [[BronyCon 2018|convention]].<ref>[[BronyCon 2018#Day 1]]</ref>

And his statements aren't the ''only'' time he has railed against someone for (alleged) perverse intent despite his own dirty laundry. For quite a while, he asserted that [[Bruce Johnson|his elementary school principal]] was molesting him and he denounced [[The GAMe PLACe]] for the fact that its owner was a sex offender (even going so far as to baselessly accuse [[Michael Snyder|his then-nemesis]] of being an incestuous pedophile).

As mentioned, he himself has molested various others (and once [[iPods Down and Listen Up|rapped about himself forcibly siring children with a woman trying to elude his sexual advances]]). As for incest accusations, he would later [[Affair with Mother|initiate sex with his elderly mother]].

===Don't end up "as a full-on Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" - Kindness===
In January 2017, Chris typed out an [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Open letter to Barron Trump|open letter to Barron Trump]], in which he urges Barron not to become a "Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical [[JERKS|Male]]" like his father, President Trump. This came after two months of Chris [[Pmurt#Death Threats|constantly trying to organize prayers for the elder Trump's death]]. As for [[Chris and his ego|ego]], Chris spent much of the essay whining about how trolls affected his own life.

==="If people didn’t overspend so much..." - Finances===
In [[May 2019]], Chris commented on an article about excessive spending of public funds by a former EPA chief, criticizing people for overspending. This was only a day after he went to court for [[debt]], a consequence of [[Chris and money#Chris and impulse spending|reckless spending on toys and video games]]. Chris also bemoaned inflation, blaming it on people getting "greedy for the green".

Only three days prior, he sold a dirty old blanket on [[eBay]] for $200,<ref>[[2019 Sales Listings#Rainbow Pride Throw Blanket|2019 Sales Listings]]</ref> which is only a minor episode in Chris's [[Financhu Crisis|long history of e-begging]] to sustain the Chandlers' aforementioned habit of wasting funds on useless garbage, alongside his [[Chris and money|irresponsible spending habits in general]].

==="Break your own Fourth Wall!" - Dimensions===

On [[November 2019]], Chris has made a string of Twitter posts telling people to "break their [[Fourth Wall|fourth wall]]" in order to interact with the OC's living in their home dimensions. The term "[[OC]]" is what Chris uses to refer to any of the characters found within a cartoon. Chris believes that these characters are all sentient beings with their own consciences and feelings. Fast forward to a few days later, Chris becomes enraged when he sees the promo of [[Pony Life]]. Believing it to be a cartoon along the lines of Teen Titans Go solely due to its art style, Chris began starting rallies against the show on his Twitter account, spamming both Hasbro and people who showed any interest in the show with complaints. He even claims that he desires to kill all of the characters within the show itself by having it cancelled.

=== "Can't we just forgive and forget?" - Forgiveness ===
Every so often, Chris will do something that serves to bother or even negatively impact those around him, be it loitering in a [[Get-Tar Region|retail]] [[Mal-Wart|setting]] to seek out a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], [[26 December 2014| assaulting employees of stores he was banned from]], [[Affair with Mother|engaging in sex with his elderly mother]] and so forth. Once he realizes he's in trouble and others have reacted negatively to any of his shenanigans, he'll sometimes [[Chris and remorse|try to serve an apology]] to whichever parties were hurt in the situation. Naturally, Chris's feeble and hollow expression of remorse is quickly denied, at which point he is bound to take such a thing personally.

A good example would be Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|recording of an attempt to persuade]] [[Michael Snyder]] to revoke his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. When Chris's insincerity was point-blank rejected and he was urged to leave, Chris got indignant and pleaded for Snyder to "forgive and forget". Ironically, before and after this incident, Chris had been harboring complete animosity towards Snyder and the store itself to the point where [[28 October 2011|he eventually committed a hit-and-run against the then-newer owner himself]].

Even when [[This is how the Trial went|the case had been taken to court]], Chris refused to let go of his unjustified hatred towards Snyder, such that when informed he was to cover medical expenses (as part of a plea bargain to ensure Chris wouldn't suffer from a criminal record, mind you), he openly referred to the very man who had just arranged to make the case easier for him as a 'thieving liar'.

Even outside of that, Chris isn't really in any position whatsoever to chide others for a lack of forgiveness, considering one of many things he is infamous for is [[Chris and anger|a tendency to fly into extreme rage]] against others for perceived slights and/or attacks on him, sometimes going so far as to unleash [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|a "curse"]] or even [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|desire for them to be killed outright]]. Not just that, but he has even held years-long grudges against the aforementioned Michael Snyder, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Megan Schroeder]], all for things that were his own fault in the first place.

It should come as no surprise that even in [[Sonichu (comic)|his magnum opus]], Chris will screw up a message of forgiveness almost immediately after he says it. In [[Sonichu #8]], Rosechu reminds Sonichu of the importance of forgiveness but near the end of the same volume, a single [[Pickle|pickle]] getting thrown at her induces transformation into [[The Incredible Lioness]], whereupon she brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in retaliation.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[True and Loyal Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Chris and morality]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}

THAT IS MY HOUSE

2026-09-23T03:10:17Z

WarnerBro:

[[File:DeathStarCam7.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Star Wars|Do you ''realize''...? Do... you... '''realize''' something? Let me tell you: If the Rebel Alliance sees those Death Star plans, that you put in the damn droid, they could destroy our base, and we would have to move out of it...?]]]]

'''THAT IS MY HOUSE''', aka '''ECV 00193''', is a video uploaded on 27 [[August 2009]], in which [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] demands footage of his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] be removed from the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] [[Chris and anger|in a calm and concise manner]].

Chris took down the video not too long afterward, only for it be re-uploaded by [[trolls|troll]] [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|archivists]]. On 29 August 2009, an uncut version of the video featuring [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was acquired by [[Vivian Gee]] and [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|leaked]] onto [[YouTube]].

This video is easily one of Christian's most infamous and popular videos, with a reupload of the uncut version with Bob cracking 2.1 million views as of [[December 2025]]. In [[January 2024]], meme edits of the video began circulating on YouTube, often replacing Chris and Bob with fictional characters or placing them in alternative settings. In [[November 2025]], Chris commented about the trend, saying that he still couldn't laugh off the incident and that it still stung him, and that he regretted that the house tour video was leaked.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Regret]]</ref>

The video was even referenced in an episode of ''[[Smiling Friends]]''; the show's creators previously mentioned being influenced by this video when they expressed wanting to get Chris a cameo role on the show.

==YouTube Version==
{{Tardrage|1=border:12px double rgb(255,0,0)|2=EXTREME}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| ytid = m3xeZTBgvwg
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|[[The Internet]]}}
| style = {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Chan creepy smile]]
| next = [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|ECV 00192]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|I was Already In Deep Enough, but THIS IS TOO DEEP! GET ALL MY HOUSE IMAGES OFF THE INTERNET!

I am counting on ALL FULL Positive Cooperation in this major matter.

Christian Weston Chandler, August 17 [sic], 2009 }}

==Uncut Version==
{{quote|Shut that goddamn thing off!|Bob Chandler, addressing his old foe: that ''goddamn Internet''.}}

An uncut version entitled '''ECV 00192''' was posted by Vivian on 29 August 2009, where Bob walks in and scolds Chris. This is the second and last time we see Bob showing any kind of parental authority over Chris. In [[Mailbag 25]], Chris revealed that he lied to his father, telling him that he had gotten the house videos off of the Internet.

We also learn the real reason why Chris's parents are concerned about the tour videos: the fear that the [https://www.gcph.info/ Health Department of Greene County] will discover the squalor of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler household]] and condemn it. Unsurprisingly, in typical CWC fashion, [[Chris and remorse|Chris doesn't seem to care about that]] and is only concerned that he got in trouble with his parents.

Also noteworthy is the fact that this marks the first Chris video explicitly featuring another living, breathing person (as opposed to [[Kimmi|an inflatable person, made of plastic]]).

{{Tardrage|1=border:12px double rgb(255,0,0)|2=EXTREME}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00192
| video = {{#ev:youtube|riHgBEu3OSk}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2009]]
| style = {{Comedy|[[Random-access humor|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| next = [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris races into the frame, obviously angry and upset; he begins speaking quietly, but gradually gets louder'']

This does not even deserve a [[Captain's Log]] introduction... [''[[dramatic glasses removal]]''] because this is dead serious! The [[Tour of Chris's House|inside and outside tour]] I did A FEW MONTHS ago of my house, everyone on the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]...

[''Chris jumps up and suddenly begins to scream and yell in a fit of childish rage, flapping his arms as he puts louder emphasis on certain words, sounding somewhat similar to Gilbert Gottfried'']

{{RageQuote|[[Barbara Chandler|MY MOTHER]] AND [[Bob Chandler|MY FATHER]] ARE}}

'''ANGRY AT ME!''' They're BLAMING it at me! IT'S my fault, {{RageQuote|''I ADMIT IT!''}} it's my fault! I WANT everything a-{{RageQuote|'''''BOUT MY HOUSE''''' ''OFF!'' ''THE!'' ''INNERNET!''}}

[''Chris starts gesticulating ridiculously''] I'll send in detectives! I'll send in [[police]]! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY {{RageQuote|''[[POWER]]!''}}

'''Chris''': Just get it ''OFF'' the internet...

'''Bob''': Listen-to-me! [''muffled by Chris's "OFF THE INTERNET!"''] Listen to me.

'''Chris''': [''his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|expression changes rapidly]] and slowly turns to face Bob''] Yes...

'''Bob''': Listen to ''ME''.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Bob''': Shut that goddamn thing off!

[''Chris [[stress sigh|sighs]] and turns off his TV, unaware or indifferent to the fact that his [[PSEye|camera]] is still recording the conversation. Bob walks over to him'']

'''Bob''': I don't care what you do. [''pointing at PSEye''] You get all that stuff off of there. Tonight.

'''Chris''': I'm working on it. [''slaps hands to his side'']

'''Bob''': Go work on it! [''points to the door, instructing Chris to go to the computer downstairs'']

'''Chris''': I am workin-

'''Bob''': Do you ''realize''...? Do you '''''realize''''' something? Let me tell you: If the [http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/thomas-jefferson/ Health Department of Greene County]... sees those videos... that you put on the damn Internet... they could condemn our house, and we would have to move out of it...?

'''Chris''': [''sighs''] I see.

'''Bob''': You go get that [''nervously laughs when saying the next few words''] goddamn stuff off of there and fast!

'''Chris''': I'm ''working'' on it! I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...

'''Bob''': No...

'''Chris''': Its—It's, ahh, ''out of my control'' [''flails arms'']

'''Bob''': No, ''you'' get 'em off.

'''Chris''': It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! ''I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO''-

'''Bob''': You loaded them up there, you unload 'em!

'''Chris''': I'm working on it!

'''Bob''': Go ''do it''!

'''Chris''': ''I AM WORK'- I AM DOIN' IT... I'M STARTIN'...''

'''Bob''': Get in ''here'' and ''do it''!

'''Chris''': I- [''sputters'']

'''Bob''': [''walks out of the room''] I'll be up all night with you if ''I have to''. You won't get any sleep until that stuff's off.

'''Chris''': I'm working on it!

'''Bob''': [''from outside''] Get in there and start!

'''Chris''': ''I'M WOR-KIN' ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[Trolls|E'RRYBODY]], [[True and Loyal Fanbase|IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET-''

'''Bob''': [''interrupting''] Listen!

'''Chris''': -about our house!

'''Bob''': I don't wanna get kicked outta my house. By the Health Department. And what you just did was stick a [[Cutco|knife]] in our back, and kill us! [''Bob exits the room again'']

'''Chris''': Aw'right... lemme just...

'''Bob''': Get that stuff ''offa'' there...

'''Chris''': ''I'M '''WORK'''''-

'''Bob''': ...and get it offa there fast!

'''Chris''': I'm ''workin''' on it! I'm ''WORKIN''' on it! [''Chris turns his TV back on'']

So yeah, please, get everything off the Internet...

{{RageQuote|Now, NOW, NOW, ''NOW'', ''NOW'', ''NOOOOW!''}}

[''Chris stomps the ground as he yells like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, the camera [[Obesity|noticeably shakes]]; he then quickly calms down, then holds up the peace sign'']

[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse]] the [[trolls]], peace to everybody else.

==The Greene County Health Department responds==
In addition to creating [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect many, many mirrors of the videos Bob wanted cut down], some more intrepid viewers actually did contact the Greene County Health Department. The Health Department did respond (3 weeks later) to one such letter, although they seemed indifferent to their living situation, citing that the Chandler's messes were firmly confined within their home and seemingly not affecting their community. They stated that their decision to live in a garbage house full of dirty dishes and animal feces was part of their inalienable rights as guaranteed by the US Constitution:

{{quotebox|Dear Bob S:

Thank you for your interest in this situation. The challenge is to
clarify if the conditions at this residence are a risk to the public's
health or if they are personal risks accepted by the individuals that
choose to live there.

Public Health relates to the general health of a community. When
diseases can be transmitted from person to person or when the health
risk affects the community, regulations have normally been enacted to
address these public health threats. Even so, the individual's right to
choose is protected by the Constitution. We know smoking greatly
increases the risk of cancer and heart disease, yet individuals continue
to choose to smoke. Regulations are in place to minimize public exposure
to contaminated or mishandled foods, yet some individuals still choose
to eat raw hamburger. In the case you've brought to our attention, the
"deplorable conditions" you refer to appear to be confined to the
individual residence and are the choice of those that live there. They
do not appear to effect the health of the community. There are no
specific health regulations that address individual choices in private
living conditions.

We have contacted the building official to see if any building, zoning
of fire prevention laws apply and were informed that they did not. We
also contacted the Greene County Attorney to see if he knew of any
County ordinances that would be applicable. He did not know of any. We
also contacted adult protective services to make sure they are aware of
the situation.

Please contact me if I can be of further assistance.

Jeffrey T. McDaniel 
Environmental Health Manager 
[http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/thomasjefferson/ Thomas Jefferson Health District]}}

This raises the question of whether Chris is properly informed about the risks to his health and all of his rights as a disabled person (especially the right to [[Chris and mental healthcare|humane psychiatric treatment]] that would help him live on his own), although this probably isn't a matter for the Health Department.

==Fan videos==
{|align="center"
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok (Presented to You by Christian Weston Chandler)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TLN-6lKDdhI}}
| stardate = 09 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject =
| type = Remix to "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
| info = Arguably the most popular fan video of them all.}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = BUST A CHRIS
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9j3IUYX8QGU}}
| Stardate =
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = NOW MIX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dboXPv-eIiU}}
| Stardate =
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "That's My House!" - Ca. 1912 Silent Film Starring Christian and Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|csQWQzpfDBc}}
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tregnier279 tregnier279]
| subject =
| type = Remix
| info = }}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = (YTPMV) THAT IS MY GENTLEMENTLEMEN
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dFUikkbOf40}}
| stardate = 25 [[April 2011]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/RainingMetal?feature=mhum RainingMetal]
| subject =
| type = YouTube Poop Music Video}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler vs Darth Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NcBSyaWnk9I}}
| stardate = 25 [[March 2016]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI2gRuUl9SVnjsfMOwoXXDA Griffin Law]
| type = (Film) Parody
| info = Bob as [[Star Wars|Darth Vader]].}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan and Bob fight but its Pirate voices
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w73aHGYTzxU}}
| stardate = 18 [[November 2023]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/@DockingTwo DockingTwo]
| type = Parody}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = chris chan reference in smiling friends
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Vn--zr3nQYg}}
| stardate = 6 [[October 2025]]
| maker = [[Adult Swim]]; [https://www.youtube.com/@ramonacheeseburger/ Mona]
| type = Yup, he's (sort of) on TV!}}
|-
|}

==See also==
*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Chris and negotiation]]
*[[Look, I Am helping my mother and I with the monies]]
*[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]
*[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2009#My mother and my father are angry with me!]], an email dated around the time the video was uploaded
{{References}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]|nextlink=[[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]|}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-27]]
[[Category:Videos published to ChristianWChandler]]

Niggos

2026-09-20T18:53:43Z

WarnerBro:

{{Honest}}
{{Misinfo|Chris has only used these slurs during the time he was being [[manipulated]] by the Miscreants group of [[trolls]]. He has not used them before or since. He has also never used the phrase "no darkies" - it was used in a [[:File:Nodarkies.JPG|piece of fan art]], mocking Chris's specific requirements on his attraction sign.}}

'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many [[Chris and censorship|minced oaths]], this one meant to refer to black people. While he only used the term once, it has become a popular term among Christorians that use it to allude to [[Chris and race|Chris's history of problematic behavior]] where African American people are concerned.

==Etymology of "Niggos"==
His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|3 March 2009 chat]], where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying "''[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers.''" Chris repeated the line as ordered, but ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying "niggos" instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done, like...

* Refuse to say "nigger",
* Literally say "N-word",
* Say something else like "blacks" or "African-Americans",
* Say something else entirely [[Random access humor|as a non sequitur]],
* Bleep himself out, or
* Just end the conversation,

He chose to coin a dumb ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal. It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. BlueSpike pointed out Chris's stupidity, and our autistic hero then went on to to say "niggers" several times at BlueSpike's prompting. He even warmed to the subject and started reciting "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There]]" on his own will until BlueSpike cussed him out for it. Chris has done this more than once before.<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary|"Mumble #7"]]</ref><ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5#Summary|"BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5"]]</ref>

Chris has never again used the word "niggo" and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. Nonetheless, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

==Chris and the actual N-word==
{{Quote|Sit, Spin and Shut the Fuck Up, NIGGER!!! And I WILL call you That RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!|[[Chris]], [[March 2010]]<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|Thankfully, this is ''not'' what Chris actually believes.]]

Chris has used "nigga" or "nigger" on occasion, often in quotation.

According to a 2010 comment by [[TheRcholic]] (a YouTube account which is potentially [[Michael Snyder]]'s), Chris used the words "nigger" and "black" as pejorative terms to describe others while attending [[The GAMe PLACe]], which nearly led to him getting his ass kicked at one point. However, that claim is contradicted by [[Daniel Mimms]], who said in a 2009 interview that Chris never used the word nigger.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Chris's first recorded use of the word "nigger" is in [[Mumble 7]], recorded 13 [[February 2009]]. Chris is asked if he watches the [[Adult Swim]] sitcom ''{{w|The Boondocks (2005 TV series)|The Boondocks}}'', and when he answers in the affirmative, he is asked to do an impression of the self-hating black character Uncle Ruckus. He responds by quoting the line "Don't trust them new niggers over there!" from the series' premiere episode. He would repeat this performance in [[Mumble 8]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]. In the [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 10]] and [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 11|11]], however, Chris refuses to type the word, rendering it as "n*ggers". Chris is forced to say the word in [[Julie Reveals Herself]], saying "niggos" before BlueSpike forces him to say the word.

In [[June 2009]] Chris made up and sang a parody version of Uncle Ruckus's song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]". He modified most of the lyrics to make fun of [[Homos|gay people]] to establish his commitment to heterosexuality but leaves in references to "nigga fingas on the trigga".

As part of the [[SingStar Challenge Round 5]], Chris recorded two cover versions of the song "Smell Yo Dick" by Riskay, which uses the word "nigga" multiple times. Chris's singing was extremely slurred and unintelligible, however – not because he was uncomfortable with saying "nigga" but because he was uncomfortable saying "[[duck|dick]]".

Chris called the troll [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] a nigger multiple times, both orally in the [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]] video from 17 [[March 2010]] and in writing in the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Surfshack Tito e-mails]], released shortly afterwards – even though Tito, like the ''Rocket Power'' character he's named after, is Hawaiian, not black. Tito, noticing this, made a video response to Chris using footage of an [[Obesity|obese]] black YouTuber, obscuring his face while dubbing over an apology to Chris.

In the [[Lars Call]], Chris says "I'll be yo nigga" and "I'm yo nigga" when prompted by [[Lars]].

Once again referencing ''The Boondocks'', Chris states in a [[March 2021 social media posts#Angelica and other stuff|March 2021 Twitter thread]] that the black ''Sonichu'' character [[Inos]] is not a victim of "Nigga Moments", a term used in the episode "Granddad's Fight" to refer to violent conflicts between two black men over petty incidents.

In [[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act 4]], Chris is tricked into giving a shoutout to "Nick Gurr", which is a common prank played on livestreamers. He has also been coerced to say "Knee Gur" and "Vinegar" on other occassions, as well as sang Don't Trust Them New Niggas several times unprompted.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Nodarkies.JPG|The infamous 'No Darkies' Fan art
File:Niggo.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[Julie Reveals Herself]]
* [[Chris and race]]
* [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]
* [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]
* [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]
* [[Attraction Sign]]
* [[Mumble 7]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[SingStar Challenge Round 5]]
* [[Song for Jackie.MOV|Song for Jackie.MOV]] - Chris's infamous blackface video.
* [[100 2267]] - Chris's other infamous blackface video.
* [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]] - Chris in all his thugnificence.
* [[Lars Call]] - Chris becomes black.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:People]]

Niggos

2026-09-20T18:45:59Z

WarnerBro:

{{Honest}}
{{Misinfo|Chris has only used these slurs during the time he was being [[manipulated]] by the Miscreants group of [[trolls]]. He has not used them before or since. He has also never used the phrase "no darkies" - it was used in a [[:File:Nodarkies.JPG|piece of fan art]], mocking Chris's specific requirements on his attraction sign.}}

'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. While he only used the term once, it has become a popular term among Christorians that use it to allude to [[Chris and race|Chris's history of problematic behavior]] where African American people are concerned.

==Etymology of "Niggos"==
His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|3 March 2009 chat]], where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying "''[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers.''" Chris repeated the line as ordered, but ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying "niggos" instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done, like...

* Refuse to say "nigger",
* Literally say "N-word",
* Say something else like "blacks" or "African-Americans",
* Say something else entirely [[Random access humor|as a non sequitur]],
* Bleep himself out, or
* Just end the conversation,

He chose to coin a dumb ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal. It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. BlueSpike pointed out Chris's stupidity, and our autistic hero then went on to to say "niggers" several times at BlueSpike's prompting. He even warmed to the subject and started reciting "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There]]" on his own will until BlueSpike cussed him out for it. Chris has done this more than once before.<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary|"Mumble #7"]]</ref><ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5#Summary|"BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5"]]</ref>

Chris has never again used the word "niggo" and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. Nonetheless, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

==Chris and the actual N-word==
{{Quote|Sit, Spin and Shut the Fuck Up, NIGGER!!! And I WILL call you That RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!|[[Chris]], [[March 2010]]<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|Thankfully, this is ''not'' what Chris actually believes.]]

Chris has used "nigga" or "nigger" on occasion, often in quotation.

According to a 2010 comment by [[TheRcholic]] (a YouTube account which is potentially [[Michael Snyder]]'s), Chris used the words "nigger" and "black" as pejorative terms to describe others while attending [[The GAMe PLACe]], which nearly led to him getting his ass kicked at one point. However, that claim is contradicted by [[Daniel Mimms]], who said in a 2009 interview that Chris never used the word nigger.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Chris's first recorded use of the word "nigger" is in [[Mumble 7]], recorded 13 [[February 2009]]. Chris is asked if he watches the [[Adult Swim]] sitcom ''{{w|The Boondocks (2005 TV series)|The Boondocks}}'', and when he answers in the affirmative, he is asked to do an impression of the self-hating black character Uncle Ruckus. He responds by quoting the line "Don't trust them new niggers over there!" from the series' premiere episode. He would repeat this performance in [[Mumble 8]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]. In the [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 10]] and [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 11|11]], however, Chris refuses to type the word, rendering it as "n*ggers". Chris is forced to say the word in [[Julie Reveals Herself]], saying "niggos" before BlueSpike forces him to say the word.

In [[June 2009]] Chris made up and sang a parody version of Uncle Ruckus's song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" called "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]". He modified most of the lyrics to make fun of [[Homos|gay people]] to establish his commitment to heterosexuality but leaves in references to "nigga fingas on the trigga".

As part of the [[SingStar Challenge Round 5]], Chris recorded two cover versions of the song "Smell Yo Dick" by Riskay, which uses the word "nigga" multiple times. Chris's singing was extremely slurred and unintelligible, however – not because he was uncomfortable with saying "nigga" but because he was uncomfortable saying "[[duck|dick]]".

Chris called the troll [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] a nigger multiple times, both orally in the [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]] video from 17 [[March 2010]] and in writing in the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Surfshack Tito e-mails]], released shortly afterwards – even though Tito, like the ''Rocket Power'' character he's named after, is Hawaiian, not black. Tito, noticing this, made a video response to Chris using footage of an [[Obesity|obese]] black YouTuber, obscuring his face while dubbing over an apology to Chris.

In the [[Lars Call]], Chris says "I'll be yo nigga" and "I'm yo nigga" when prompted by [[Lars]].

Once again referencing ''The Boondocks'', Chris states in a [[March 2021 social media posts#Angelica and other stuff|March 2021 Twitter thread]] that the black ''Sonichu'' character [[Inos]] is not a victim of "Nigga Moments", a term used in the episode "Granddad's Fight" to refer to violent conflicts between two black men over petty incidents.

In [[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act 4]], Chris is tricked into giving a shoutout to "Nick Gurr", which is a common prank played on livestreamers. He has also been coerced to say "Knee Gur" and "Vinegar" on other occassions, as well as sang Don't Trust Them New Niggas several times unprompted.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Nodarkies.JPG|The infamous 'No Darkies' Fan art
File:Niggo.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[Julie Reveals Herself]]
* [[Chris and race]]
* [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]
* [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]
* [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]
* [[Attraction Sign]]
* [[Mumble 7]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[SingStar Challenge Round 5]]
* [[Song for Jackie.MOV|Song for Jackie.MOV]] - Chris's infamous blackface video.
* [[100 2267]] - Chris's other infamous blackface video.
* [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]] - Chris in all his thugnificence.
* [[Lars Call]] - Chris becomes black.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:People]]

Don't Trust Any Homos Over There

2026-09-20T14:00:52Z

WarnerBro:

{{Honest}}
"'''Don't Trust Any Homos Over There'''" is an "Audio Only" video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 5 [[June 2009]].

Holding up a sign in front of the camera the entire time, Chris sings the titular song [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5#Impressions (.2800:02:38.29)|for Julie]], which is his own version of "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" by ''[[Wikipedia:The_Boondocks (TV series)|The Boondocks]]''' self-hating black character [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]. The only differences between these songs is that Chris replaced "[[niggos|nigga]]" with "homo" in some places in an attempt to make the song homophobic, but still [[Chris and copyright|left the other racist lyrics intact]].

This is the second time Chris imitates Uncle Ruckus, the first time being the [[BlueSpike PSN Chats]]. The parallels between Uncle Ruckus and Chris are uncanny. Uncle Ruckus is a self-hating black man, who frequently denies his blackness at every given opportunity. Chris finds every opportunity to [[Chris and hypocrisy|show off his homophobia]] [[Homos|and deny his homosexuality]].

Within two hours of posting the video, Chris added a description to it [[Chris and remorse|making excuses and apologizing]] "for any [[Naïve|misunderstandings]] that may lead to [[heart level|hard feelings]]" and made a follow-up video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]" where he apologized to an acquaintance who saw it (or at least, Chris thinks he did) and was offended.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Don't Trust Any Homos Over There
| ytid = H3FlT1keb-A
| stardate = 15 [[June 2009]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}, {{Racism|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Julie|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| previous = [[Chris's Big Night Out]]
| next = [[I'm Sorry, Dude]]
}}

{{quote|Woman and man make da babies.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Video opens with a yellow piece of paper with "THIS VIDEO IS AUDIO ONLY" written on it in front of the camera. It constantly moves through the entire video, indicating that Chris is merely holding a piece of paper there the whole time.'']

Ha-ha! Hello, my name ain't Uncle Ruckus, no relation. I'm gonna sing y'all a song I just made up. It's called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There". Sing along if you know the words. A-huh-huh-da-da-da-da-da-da...

Don't trust any homos over there 
Leavin' their homo stank in the air 
Them sappy lappy dumb homos 
With their nigga finger on the trigga 
Don't trust any homos over there!

Don't trust them [[Crass and Champ|crass]] nostrils over yonda 
They suck up so much air, it'll make you wonda! 
Don't trust any homos with their jabba flippin' jabber 
Don't trust any homos over there

Woman and man make da babies 
Straight way is the way to play 
No ifs, or buts, or maybes 
Man plays with [[China|pussy]] to get that ticket to heaven 
They stay true from 69 to 11 
We be playin' hos over bros everyday 
We get full pleasure and no sin and pain 
Give no pity to them homos, they going straight to hell

Don't trust any homos over there 
Don't trust them crass nostrils over yonda 
They suck up so much air, it'll make you wonda 
Don't trust them any homos 
With their jibber jabba flippin' jabber 
And a nigga finger at the trigga!

Don't trust any homoooooos...over theeeeeeeeere! Whaaa!

===Description===
He later added the following description:

{{quotebox|**This video is directed towards the mean and cruel men who may or may not be homos; it is NOT directed towards the nicer, more understanding [[Red Skelton|Gentlemen]], Straight or Homosexual.

*I humbly apologize for any misunderstandings that may lead to hard feelings.

Also, I want to make it clear that I respect the number of gentlemen of either orientation that have done something worthwhile, like [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|battle in a war]], [[LittleBigPlanet|voice-acting]], etc.

I'll stop there.}}

==Original Boondocks Version==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|KqV2n5h7RWs}}</center>

==See also==
*[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Chris and race#Black_people|Chris and Race]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris's Big Night Out]]|nextlink=[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-06-14]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, June 2009| 2009-06-14]]
[[Category:Videos published to CChanSonichu]]
[[Category:My Personal Videos (that can stay online)]]

Chris and pornography

2026-09-20T12:04:22Z

WarnerBro: /* DVDs */

{{Honest}}
[[File:Cwc porn 5.jpg|thumb|200px|A small selection of Chris's pornography collection]]

'''Pornography''' is [[Chris and sex|sexual]] media content. Like with many other things, Chris has developed a fixation over porn, to the extent that he views it as educational.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref> He has made many different pieces of porn and viewed plenty as well.

== Discovery ==
[[Image:I Like to Play Games.jpg|thumb|right|The pool scene in question]]
By the age of 15, Chris had discovered softcore pornography, which he watched on HBO and Cinemax. He would lay belly-down on a bed on top of a clean washcloth while watching it, eventually leading to his discovery of [[Mass debating|masturbation]]<ref>[[Masturbation discussions#18 May 2021]]</ref>. Based on a PSN chat with [[PandaHalo]] and [[Chris_Chat_27_December_2008#Transcript|an IRC chat]], Chris would access pornography after he figured out how to bypass the parental controls on [[Borb|his parents']] TV:

{{quote|actually figured it out for myself, in my room one night after having unlocked the parental lock; I found the pool scene in "[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0210112/ I Like to Play Games 2]" [sic], and I just figured it out for myself.}}

Chris would go on to clarify in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]] that the scene that taught him how to masturbate featured a man and a woman having sex in a swimming pool. No such scene exists in ''I Like to Play Games Too'', however a scene fitting Chris' description appears in the first ''I Like to Play Games''.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> It is possible that this scene was the inspiration for Chris's [[RomanticLabyrinth|Romantic Labyrinth]] wet [[dreams|dream]], which he would later recreate in [[Flipnote Hatena]].

== Viewing ==
===DVDs===
[[File:Adameve 07-12-26.PNG|thumb|200px|One of Chris's [[Adam & Eve]] receipts for a porn DVD, along with [[Kimmi]] the sex doll]]

Chris has been collecting pornographic DVDs since at least [[2006]], when he began purchasing a bunch through [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Adam & Eve]]. However, he paid full price for very few of these DVDs — most of them were either free gifts or sold at a steep discount. One of the only discs he looks to have specifically shopped for was a collection of vintage American smut cartoons priced at $14.95.

By [[December 2013]], Chris had amassed a collection of at least 56 pornographic DVDs. He attempted to sell them on [[Craigslist]] and asked one of [[LoveYouLongTime]]'s personas if she would buy them, listing as a lot for $1,000.<ref>[[Craigslist#Used Porn]]</ref><ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Used Porn for Sale]]</ref> He listed the titles as:

{{quotebox|Hentai:

Love Lessons 1 and 2, Love Doll 1 and 2, Anime Fiction 1 and 2, Sailor and the Seven Balls 1 and 2, Desperate Carnal Housewives 1. Vintage XXX Cartoons (featuring little Annie and the Phallum), Pure Love2, Fruits Cup

From Adam & Eve:

The Edge, Black Safari: Legend has it, XXX pleasure Seekers, Wicked Now and Wicked Classic, Titanium 5 star Video Collection, Rawhide (2 disc set), Jenna's Private Parts, The Best of Amateur Angels, Amateure Angels 5, The Perfect Secretary, Carmen & Friends, Build Your Own Collection, Extreme Behavior 2, Nina Hartley's Guide to Sex Toys

Educational from Sinclair institute and Alexander Institute Spearmint Rhino:

101 Advanced Sexual Positions. Sexplorations Wols 1, 2, 3 DVD and Music CD Set, Creative Positions For Lowers: Beyond the Bedroom. Sexual Positions for lowers: Beyond the Missionary Position, Kama Sutra: Sensual Secrets to Amazing Sex 1, Sex: A Lifelong Pleasure: Satisfying Heil Him Wol 1 and 2. Erotic Seduction, More of What Women Want, New Erotic Seduction, The Art of Erotic Dancing, Sexual Satisfaction, Sexual Healing. Sexual Fitness

Other:

Playboy Girls of Reality TV, Playboy's Girlfriends, Sex Trivia, pleasure principle, Sweet Young Things 1.2 and 3. Latin Sinsations, Pamm & Tommy Lee: Hardcore and Uncerts ored. On Top of Of Woody, Teen Models 1, Just Vagina, Cal Wash Girls. Angelina Aimani Statlets. Kagney Linn Karter: Superhero Sex Therapist}}

===Online===
{{quote|I am [[Honest Content|Not ashamed]] to tell you I enjoyed a number of the screen caps on welivetogether.com, and when I feel like totally grossed out with even an image of a [[penis]], and recalling and focusing on a [[China|vagina]] image in my mind usually works, but when it doesn't, I turned on W.L.T. and focus on those images.|Chris, [[September 2017]]<ref name=septwlt>[[Desiree Delightful#DMs]]</ref>}}

Chris's favorite lesbian porn website is welivetogether.com, mentioning it in conversations from [[May 2015]]<ref name=maywlt>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?]]</ref> and [[September 2017]].<ref name=septwlt></ref> Chris wrote that the site "really thrills me", although added that he is not a member and just likes to browse the free samples.<ref name=maywlt></ref> He also used it as a [[coping]] mechanism for when he saw imagery of a [[penis]] - Chris's usual technique for this emergency was to imagine vaginas. For times when this was not enough, he turned to browsing welivetogether.com for an added boost.<ref name=septwlt></ref>

During the [[Idea Guys]] saga, Chris was coerced to "record a two hour video of himself watching rather grotesque pornography as a "reaction" type video." The video has not been released to the public.<ref>[[The Chris-Chan Extortionists]]</ref>

On 30 [[July 2019]], [[MKRNightVee]] posted some ''[[Transformers]]'' R34 porn artwork in a Discord server. Chris commented, "I was curious about the twitchy servos in that for a while, but it ended up being hit-or-miss with me."<ref>[[Midnight's Nightlings and Starettes#Hit-or-Miss R34]]</ref>

==Creating==
===Art===
Chris has created numerous pieces of pornographic artwork, though initially it was for the purpose of imitating all of the porn he found on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to protest against his page's existence.

The first set of porn he made came about in [[2007]] amidst his fight against [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Repulsed by the copious [[pickle]]s on the site, he set out on a mission to add 'positivity' by replacing the dick-filled artwork with hand-drawn porn pictures [[I am STRAIGHT|aligning with his own tastes]]. Armed with his magic markers, he gave the world an eyeful of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] fucking, [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] also fucking, [[Angelica Rosechu]] fingering herself, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] commanding one of her [[jerkop]] slaves to pleasure her, and the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] (in which he fingers [[Megan Schroeder]]). Unsurprisingly, the latter came back to bite him in the ass.<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>

Chris doubled down on drawing porn for ''[[Sonichu 8]]'', which opens with a graphic sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu, and includes [[Chris and art#Rule 34|badly traced nudes of Rosechu]]. If that's not hideous enough, he adds a dose of [[The Incredible Lioness|face-rape]].

In [[2009]], Chris created [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]] as a notorious outlet to show off all the porn art he had drawn so far. He even included ShecameforCWC, [[Chris and remorse|despite this picture being the final nail in the coffin for his friendship with Megan]].

{{collapsible
|Chris's pornographic and erotic artwork. WARNING: INCREDIBLY NSFW.
|<center><gallery>
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG
Image:HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG
Image:BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG
Image:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG
Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG
Image:Rosechu pegging Sonichu.jpg
Image:Original-chrischan-rosechu-trap.jpg
Image:Silvana34.jpg
Image:IvyBondage.jpg
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg
Image:SchuComic9Page1-B.jpg
Image:SchuComic9Page1-G.jpg
Image:SchuComic9Page1-H .jpg
Image:SchuComic9Page5-A.jpg
Image:RosechuNude2.jpg
Image:RosechuNude3.jpg
Image:RosechuNude4.jpg
Image:RosechuNude5.jpg
Image:RosechuNude6.jpg
Image:RosechuNude7.jpg
Image:RosechuNude8.jpg
Image:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg
Image:SchuComic9Page32-F.jpg
Image:SchuComic9Page32-G.jpg
Image:SchuComic9Page61.jpg
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg
Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg
Image:UngaWungaTime.jpg
Image:WetFunCircleTime.jpg
Image:CirclingOnJackie.jpg
Image:Pink Lemonade.jpg

</gallery></center>}}

=== Selling porn ===
[[File:Christine Weston Chandler’s Lot Of 32 Porn Drawings 01.jpg|thumb|200px|One of the listing photos showing the cut-up [[shecameforCWC.JPG]]]]
Chris has successfully sold some of the porn artwork he made. On 23 [[April 2018]], Chris listed for sale on [[eBay]] the contents of the [[Crumple-Lope]] - several pornographic drawings (which included his neatly cut-up [[shecameforCWC.JPG]]). Though the listing was struck from eBay for a TOS violation, [[Lukas Simpkins]] made a private offer to purchase the lot for Chris's initial asking price of $1,000, which Chris accepted.<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings#Lot of 32 porn drawings]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Cyber Sex and Sexting ==
{{See also|Nudes}}

Chris has created porn of himself for the enjoyment some of his gal-pals, though the ones that he has done this with were trolls posing as potential sweethearts. Some of these included Chris dressing in his mother's underwear, or showing off his naked body. Other instances of him showing his goods can also get particularly odd, such as with the infamous [[Flying Elephants]] video he sent to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], where he does various skits while completely naked, or the [[Cakefarts]] video he sent to [[Jackie]], where he does as the title would entail.

Along with voice chats and Facetime videos, Chris also appeared to have performed some form of cyber sex with [[Fiona Cooper]] according to her. In a chat between her and Bella, Fiona had claimed that she had at one point shown herself topless to Chris, which aroused him.<ref>[[Bella and Fiona chats#Sets B]]</ref>

== Effects of pornography on Chris's beliefs ==
Chris's consumption of pornography has engendered many false beliefs about sex in him, which he sticks to religiously. His [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] are a prime example of this – Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal BDSM tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He [[For Julie's Eyes Only|mimics female porn stars' sex positions]], [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across]], and [[CWC Cums for a Cat|believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable]].

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Adam & Eve]], an online store selling porn DVDs, sex toys, and other things of similar nature.
*[[April 16 Fetish Vids]], a set of three videos and multiple photos of Chris engaged in multiple explicit practices.
*[[Chris and sex]] - Chris's viewing of pornography has shaped some of his understanding of sex.
*[[Hermaphrodite]] - Porn/explicit art involving these was a notable stressor of Chris's.
*[[Nudes]], pictures of Chris naked or borderline naked.
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], a pornographic drawing depicting Chris giving [[Megan Schroeder]] a handjob.
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], a section of Chris's Sonichu site containing pornography, including ShecameforCWC.JPG.
{{References}}
{{Chris and}}

THAT IS MY HOUSE

2026-09-20T12:02:43Z

WarnerBro:

[[File:DeathStarCam7.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Star Wars|Do you ''realize''...? Do... you... '''realize''' something? Let me tell you: If the Rebel Alliance sees those Death Star plans, that you put in the damn droid, they could destroy our base, and we would have to move out of it...?]]]]

'''THAT IS MY HOUSE''', aka '''ECV 00193''', is a video uploaded on 27 [[August 2009]], in which [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] demands footage of his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] be removed from the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] [[Chris and anger|in a calm and concise manner]].

Chris took down the video not too long afterward, only for it be re-uploaded by [[troll]] [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|archivists]]. On 29 August 2009, an uncut version of the video featuring [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was acquired by [[Vivian Gee]] and [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|leaked]] onto [[YouTube]].

This video is easily one of Christian's most infamous and popular videos, with a reupload of the uncut version with Bob cracking 2.1 million views as of [[December 2025]]. In [[January 2024]], meme edits of the video began circulating on YouTube, often replacing Chris and Bob with fictional characters or placing them in alternative settings. In [[November 2025]], Chris commented about the trend, saying that he still couldn't laugh off the incident and that it still stung him, and that he regretted that the house tour video was leaked.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Regret]]</ref>

The video was even referenced in an episode of ''[[Smiling Friends]]''; the show's creators previously mentioned being influenced by this video when they expressed wanting to get Chris a cameo role on the show.

==YouTube Version==
{{Tardrage|1=border:12px double rgb(255,0,0)|2=EXTREME}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| ytid = m3xeZTBgvwg
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|[[The Internet]]}}
| style = {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Chan creepy smile]]
| next = [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|ECV 00192]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|I was Already In Deep Enough, but THIS IS TOO DEEP! GET ALL MY HOUSE IMAGES OFF THE INTERNET!

I am counting on ALL FULL Positive Cooperation in this major matter.

Christian Weston Chandler, August 17 [sic], 2009 }}

==Uncut Version==
{{quote|Shut that goddamn thing off!|Bob Chandler, addressing his old foe: that ''goddamn Internet''.}}

An uncut version entitled '''ECV 00192''' was posted by Vivian on 29 August 2009, where Bob walks in and scolds Chris. This is the second and last time we see Bob showing any kind of parental authority over Chris. In [[Mailbag 25]], Chris revealed that he lied to his father, telling him that he had gotten the house videos off of the Internet.

We also learn the real reason why Chris's parents are concerned about the tour videos: the fear that the [https://www.gcph.info/ Health Department of Greene County] will discover the squalor of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler household]] and condemn it. Unsurprisingly, in typical CWC fashion, [[Chris and remorse|Chris doesn't seem to care about that]] and is only concerned that he got in trouble with his parents.

Also noteworthy is the fact that this marks the first Chris video explicitly featuring another living, breathing person (as opposed to [[Kimmi|an inflatable person, made of plastic]]).

{{Tardrage|1=border:12px double rgb(255,0,0)|2=EXTREME}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00192
| video = {{#ev:youtube|riHgBEu3OSk}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2009]]
| style = {{Comedy|[[Random-access humor|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| next = [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris races into the frame, obviously angry and upset; he begins speaking quietly, but gradually gets louder'']

This does not even deserve a [[Captain's Log]] introduction... [''dramatic [[Respectable Frames|glasses]] removal''] because this is dead serious! The [[Tour of Chris's House|inside and outside tour]] I did A FEW MONTHS ago of my house, everyone on the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]...

[''Chris jumps up and suddenly begins to scream and yell in a fit of childish rage, flapping his arms as he puts louder emphasis on certain words, sounding somewhat similar to Gilbert Gottfried'']

{{RageQuote|[[Barbara Chandler|MY MOTHER]] AND [[Bob Chandler|MY FATHER]] ARE}}

'''ANGRY AT ME!''' They're BLAMING it at me! IT'S my fault, {{RageQuote|''I ADMIT IT!''}} it's my fault! I WANT everything a-{{RageQuote|'''''BOUT MY HOUSE''''' ''OFF!'' ''THE!'' ''INNERNET!''}}

[''Chris starts gesticulating ridiculously''] I'll send in detectives! I'll send in [[police]]! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY {{RageQuote|''[[POWER]]!''}}

'''Chris''': Just get it ''OFF'' the internet...

'''Bob''': Listen-to-me! [''muffled by Chris's "OFF THE INTERNET!"''] Listen to me.

'''Chris''': [''his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|expression changes rapidly]] and slowly turns to face Bob''] Yes...

'''Bob''': Listen to ''ME''.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Bob''': Shut that goddamn thing off!

[''Chris [[stress sigh|sighs]] and turns off his TV, unaware or indifferent to the fact that his [[PSEye|camera]] is still recording the conversation. Bob walks over to him'']

'''Bob''': I don't care what you do. [''pointing at PSEye''] You get all that stuff off of there. Tonight.

'''Chris''': I'm working on it. [''slaps hands to his side'']

'''Bob''': Go work on it! [''points to the door, instructing Chris to go to the computer downstairs'']

'''Chris''': I am workin-

'''Bob''': Do you ''realize''...? Do you '''''realize''''' something? Let me tell you: If the [http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/thomas-jefferson/ Health Department of Greene County]... sees those videos... that you put on the damn Internet... they could condemn our house, and we would have to move out of it...?

'''Chris''': [''sighs''] I see.

'''Bob''': You go get that [''nervously laughs when saying the next few words''] goddamn stuff off of there and fast!

'''Chris''': I'm ''working'' on it! I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...

'''Bob''': No...

'''Chris''': Its—It's, ahh, ''out of my control'' [''flails arms'']

'''Bob''': No, ''you'' get 'em off.

'''Chris''': It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! ''I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO''-

'''Bob''': You loaded them up there, you unload 'em!

'''Chris''': I'm working on it!

'''Bob''': Go ''do it''!

'''Chris''': ''I AM WORK'- I AM DOIN' IT... I'M STARTIN'...''

'''Bob''': Get in ''here'' and ''do it''!

'''Chris''': I- [''sputters'']

'''Bob''': [''walks out of the room''] I'll be up all night with you if ''I have to''. You won't get any sleep until that stuff's off.

'''Chris''': I'm working on it!

'''Bob''': [''from outside''] Get in there and start!

'''Chris''': ''I'M WOR-KIN' ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[Trolls|E'RRYBODY]], [[True and Loyal Fanbase|IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET-''

'''Bob''': [''interrupting''] Listen!

'''Chris''': -about our house!

'''Bob''': I don't wanna get kicked outta my house. By the Health Department. And what you just did was stick a [[Cutco|knife]] in our back, and kill us! [''Bob exits the room again'']

'''Chris''': Aw'right... lemme just...

'''Bob''': Get that stuff ''offa'' there...

'''Chris''': ''I'M '''WORK'''''-

'''Bob''': ...and get it offa there fast!

'''Chris''': I'm ''workin''' on it! I'm ''WORKIN''' on it! [''Chris turns his TV back on'']

So yeah, please, get everything off the Internet...

{{RageQuote|Now, NOW, NOW, ''NOW'', ''NOW'', ''NOOOOW!''}}

[''Chris stomps the ground as he yells like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, the camera [[Obesity|noticeably shakes]]; he then quickly calms down, then holds up the peace sign'']

[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse]] the [[trolls]], peace to everybody else.

==The Greene County Health Department responds==
In addition to creating [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect many, many mirrors of the videos Bob wanted cut down], some more intrepid viewers actually did contact the Greene County Health Department. The Health Department did respond (3 weeks later) to one such letter, although they seemed indifferent to their living situation, citing that the Chandler's messes were firmly confined within their home and seemingly not affecting their community. They stated that their decision to live in a garbage house full of dirty dishes and animal feces was part of their inalienable rights as guaranteed by the US Constitution:

{{quotebox|Dear Bob S:

Thank you for your interest in this situation. The challenge is to
clarify if the conditions at this residence are a risk to the public's
health or if they are personal risks accepted by the individuals that
choose to live there.

Public Health relates to the general health of a community. When
diseases can be transmitted from person to person or when the health
risk affects the community, regulations have normally been enacted to
address these public health threats. Even so, the individual's right to
choose is protected by the Constitution. We know smoking greatly
increases the risk of cancer and heart disease, yet individuals continue
to choose to smoke. Regulations are in place to minimize public exposure
to contaminated or mishandled foods, yet some individuals still choose
to eat raw hamburger. In the case you've brought to our attention, the
"deplorable conditions" you refer to appear to be confined to the
individual residence and are the choice of those that live there. They
do not appear to effect the health of the community. There are no
specific health regulations that address individual choices in private
living conditions.

We have contacted the building official to see if any building, zoning
of fire prevention laws apply and were informed that they did not. We
also contacted the Greene County Attorney to see if he knew of any
County ordinances that would be applicable. He did not know of any. We
also contacted adult protective services to make sure they are aware of
the situation.

Please contact me if I can be of further assistance.

Jeffrey T. McDaniel 
Environmental Health Manager 
[http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/thomasjefferson/ Thomas Jefferson Health District]}}

This raises the question of whether Chris is properly informed about the risks to his health and all of his rights as a disabled person (especially the right to [[Chris and mental healthcare|humane psychiatric treatment]] that would help him live on his own), although this probably isn't a matter for the Health Department.

==Fan videos==
{|align="center"
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok (Presented to You by Christian Weston Chandler)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TLN-6lKDdhI}}
| stardate = 09 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject =
| type = Remix to "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
| info = Arguably the most popular fan video of them all.}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = BUST A CHRIS
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9j3IUYX8QGU}}
| Stardate =
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = NOW MIX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dboXPv-eIiU}}
| Stardate =
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "That's My House!" - Ca. 1912 Silent Film Starring Christian and Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|csQWQzpfDBc}}
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tregnier279 tregnier279]
| subject =
| type = Remix
| info = }}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = (YTPMV) THAT IS MY GENTLEMENTLEMEN
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dFUikkbOf40}}
| stardate = 25 [[April 2011]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/RainingMetal?feature=mhum RainingMetal]
| subject =
| type = YouTube Poop Music Video}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler vs Darth Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NcBSyaWnk9I}}
| stardate = 25 [[March 2016]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI2gRuUl9SVnjsfMOwoXXDA Griffin Law]
| type = (Film) Parody
| info = Bob as [[Star Wars|Darth Vader]].}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan and Bob fight but its Pirate voices
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w73aHGYTzxU}}
| stardate = 18 [[November 2023]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/@DockingTwo DockingTwo]
| type = Parody}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = chris chan reference in smiling friends
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Vn--zr3nQYg}}
| stardate = 6 [[October 2025]]
| maker = [[Adult Swim]]; [https://www.youtube.com/@ramonacheeseburger/ Mona]
| type = Yup, he's (sort of) on TV!}}
|-
|}

==See also==
*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Chris and negotiation]]
*[[Look, I Am helping my mother and I with the monies]]
*[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]
*[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2009#My mother and my father are angry with me!]], an email dated around the time the video was uploaded
{{References}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]|nextlink=[[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]|}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-27]]
[[Category:Videos published to ChristianWChandler]]

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2026-09-20T03:41:18Z

WarnerBro:

{{Incomplete}}

A recurring tragicomic element of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is how Chris [[Chris and writing|''tries'' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[:File:Sonichu - Episode 7, Page 4.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s cockiness, the vices and shortcomings the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her Dragonite to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Kevin_the_Jew|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, their hypersexuality has directly led the protagonists into danger. They tend to become uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|twisted views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|sexual assault]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how mildly they were originally antagonised. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes or bring them to justice is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokémon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights violations and poor resource allocation that, unsurprisingly, fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run, and in fact are shown to be the mayor's cronies, with complete immunity from the law, and receive free houses, credit cards and other gifts from the mayor, not unlike Soviet nomenklatura.
* Fight scenes involving the main characters often have them beating up [[jerkop|jerkops]], innocent, mentally handicapped people who've been brainwashed into becoming [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s evil minions. It's not until ''Sonichu #9'' that anybody even tries to cure them of their brainwashing. Even then, it's explicitly mentioned that the "heroes" have killed several jerkops, knowing full well they are victims rather than villains.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
[[Image:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|"Hee Hee!"]]
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to her like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* [[Giovanni]]'s son [[Naitsirhc]] is shown to have ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon (Zapdos and Raikou) and sports even more in the team Chris describes him having. Combined with how no trainers from the video games or the anime appear in the series, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and friends, whose bodies are presumably decaying in shallow graves somewhere outside Saffron City. That, or for whatever reason, the heroes are simply not doing anything to stop Team Rocket from holding power over the world, which while less grim, is no less questionable from an ethical standpoint.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]], a protagonist, is shown as a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the blood of others.
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris and Sonichu to attack [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely ''existing'' and saying "Hee Hee" and "Want a girlfriend? Tough lightning!"
* No reason is given as to why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot at defeating Mary Lee Walsh. If they had missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- [[Blake|a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them]] -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"? Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
* A map of the area on page twelve shows that Sonic lives fairly close to Giovanni's undisguised headquarters. Why Sonic remained oblivious of and/or ignored the existence of Pokémon's biggest villain for so long is an exercise left to the reader.

===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that you can't always brute force your way through problems and that cunning, strategy, and determination can triumph over raw power, this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are. Due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* Sonic, a seasoned superhero, not only lets the much more inexperienced Sonichu go in ahead of him but does so even after suspecting that they're walking into a trap. Letting Sonichu take point and even springing the aforementioned trap without so much as a warning was pretty weaselly on Sonic's part.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; Chris isn't so lucky. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's "father", his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a self-aggrandizing rant and tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[Chris and his ego|ego]] than getting his and Wes's shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* Punchy unambiguously murders [[Mypoe]].
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions, Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for his own reasons. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know these reasons]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open, guarded solely by a powerless [[Flame the Sunbird|parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Speaking of [[Flame the Sunbird]], he's only able to fly for about 20 miles (the distance between the shores to where Bubbles is) before being winded. For a bird, especially one that's a self-styled guardian, this is a pathetic level of physical fitness.
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat him to a bloody pulp. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by half a dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain. Besides, Black Sonichu didn't even mean to aggravate them.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkhief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave. Granted, said person's head could be removed more-or-less unharmed, but football-kicking it into an old woman's face afterward pushes it right into one of these.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]] after loitering looking for [[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free girls]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card, or at the very least, warning the crowd when he realized that his reasoning wasn't getting through? Innocent bystanders might have gotten hurt or even killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not they clashed with her wedding gown. Chris evidently believes women care more about matching their outfits than about protecting the people they love. Also, why couldn't she just get a gown that didn't clash?
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad Chris lost interest in the franchise after this issue, so they'll never be seen or even mentioned again.

===Episode #13: ''Smashed Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his [[Patti Chandler|pet dog]]. In-story she merely turned from a dog into [[Patti-Chan|a magical talking dog]], but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], it becomes obvious that even in his fantasy world, Chris is too lazy to do any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command has been promoted to Vice Mayor, although we were led to believe [[Women's rights|she was just an overpowered secretary]] for a long time. Allison performs almost literally all of Chris's mayoral duties, which is [[Chris and the law|highly illegal]] because she doesn't have the relevant authority.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes the highly progressive assumption that [[Third date|women always put out after the third date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy O'Neil|countless]] [[PandaHalo|lives]].

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has been flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to helping him. Magi-Chan should have been able to sense it telepathically or whatever.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[trolls|trolling]] works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Transgender Drama|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, [[Jason Kendrick Howell|Jason]] is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets long enough to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't even be assed to look for his own damn father himself. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Hell, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime is uploading pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about Rosechu being drawn with a penis.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him, and the latter goes even further by attempting to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year-old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are "dumb".

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday morning cartoon villain]], his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get <s>his</s> her teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Doctor Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with [[Silvana]]-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck an impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles for his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault, but the [[dating education|Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* [[Ivy]] refuses to pair up with anyone because she is holding out for Chris, despite this nominally being just practice. Since the class has equal amounts of boys and girls, this means George Philip, the boy she got paired up with, is being screwed over. Somehow, Ivy still gets a 99% in the class.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names, which doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who [[Simonla Rosechu|DigDugette416]] could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast, Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla and tries to keep an open mind about her despite also having his eye on [[Angelica Rosechu|someone else]], foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentleman on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Knuckles headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless rival suitor that potboiler romantic comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]], he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.
* Ms. Jackaras just abruptly dies halfway through the narrative and nobody even reacts except her sister, who replaces her instantly for some reason. Her sister mourns for precisely one panel.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's panties while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an unprompted, uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and psychopathic, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, and there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon, or even at all at this point. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an over-promoted secretary. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla when they were surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* CWCVille's hapless defenders are completely blindsided by the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]], sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while apparently not thinking to leave the [[CWCville Shopping Center]], the seat of the municipal government and the main target of the invasion, with any better defenders than [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] doesn't even bother to let the media know, let alone try to get assistance. Bionic and Darkbind for instance, only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup, especially when he literally had her at arms' length and in a position to easily capture or otherwise finish off.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon show basically no concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has befallen their city]].

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of sheer evil the "protagonists" exhibit in this issue clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifyingly violent and sadistic psychopaths]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|genocide]], this issue has it all.
* Chris poisons the planet's water supplies with his "[[Homos|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating a genocide against homosexuals, bisexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows an [[honor roll|inexcusable ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water supply for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris ''{{w|Rape by deception|rapes}}'' his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with "devil [[trolls]]", sealing it up beforehand as well to ensure that none can escape as he does so.
* Chris (by now you're probably realizing it's almost ''all'' Chris) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man]]'s [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris violently injects his own blood into his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that his evil behavior was due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation and was shown to have access to multiple legendaries. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations on the planet straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] destroy a populated high-rise building, killing and injuring hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face hard enough to knock out his teeth, for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* [[Collosal Chan]] breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman]]'s house completely unprovoked, and brutally attacks her to the extent of causing permanent paralysis, before having her stripped of her powers and sent to a maximum-security prison with no trial.
* Collosal Chan also willingly smashes the staff [[Count Graduon]] is sealed in and releases him at Mary's request, so she can "punish [Graduon] another day."
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (she refused a previous offer) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even infancy doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and his entourage, including a one-week-old girl and a [[Kel|preteen]], brutally execute four people in violent and inhumane ways. Remember, this is a comic Chris [[Chris and censorship|claims is aimed at children]].
* Chris disrespects [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|a national holiday]] by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==

===''Episode #22: A Sonichu Christmas''===

-WIP-
* Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a Jewish kid named Kevin in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies.

===''Episode #23: Simonchu & Bananafunkle''===

* When Simonchu returns to see his sister, he is met with extreme hostility by both Sandy and Wild, with Sandy threatening to use Horn Drill to kill him and Wild even knocking him unconscious on sight. It's only until after Simonla shouts at them do they back down. It should also be made note of that [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|since Simonla never died]], neither Wild nor Sandy have any reason to act as violently as they do.
* After an intense night of fucking, [[Reginald Sneasel]] evolves into a Weavile and proceeds to destroy everything in the church. When Angelica wakes and finds him, he says he's too far gone as some sort of monster. Later in the episode, he hooks up with [[Layla]] and seems to have full control over his new form. It should be known that [[Chris and Writing|Weavile don't become more vicious upon evolving]], so that means that Reginald effectively used his evolution as an easy way out after ripping apart Angelica's church and breaking up with her.
* Simonchu apparently discovers a fossil of an undocumented Pokémon, which has been brought back to life. Said Pokémon also apparently used to be human high school senior and was hit by a car before being brought back as a new Pokémon... [[Chris and Writing|somehow]]. Rather then give it to proper researchers of the field for further study, Simonchu dumps it on [[Punchy Sonichu]] because he's apparently the only one who can understand it.
* Punchy agreeing to bring [[Bananasauros]] to his home to live with him wouldn't be all too terrible... if Layla, his girlfriend, wasn't ''also'' living with him. And of course, he didn't call ahead to say he was bringing company; let alone some weird banana dinosaur.
* While Bananasauros is effectively an animal who has little control over the situation, he is fully aware that him being there is straining Punchy and Layla's relationship. He doesn't bring it up or care, instead mooching off of Punchy's welfare and just sitting on the couch and gaming. In the end, Layla does indeed move out, and he shows no remorse for causing it.
* For the sake of science and research, Punchy gets Bananasauros to fuck a Ditto to make some eggs. Remember that this is a human mind inside of a dinosaur banana's body, being forced to have sex for whatever the hell species he is now.
* Before leaving, Layla flat-out punches Bananasauros in the face. While Layla has every right to be angry at Bananasauros, he'd done nothing to instigate that.

===''The Clip Show: Catching Up''===

==[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]==
===Episode 24, Part 2: The Clip Show: Catching Up===
*Sonichu has a dream where Rosechu and Chris are both trapped in a fire, and he only has time to save one of them. If he saves Chris, then Rosechu will die, and Sonichu won't be able to live without her. If he saves Rosechu, then Chris will die, and CWCville will have no mayor and cease to exist, <s>killing everyone in it</s> leaving everyone "lost in a void forever". Sonichu then saves Rosechu, abandoning everyone to their fate for the sake of someone who, for the record, will die anyway as a result of his own actions.

==''Sonichu'' Specials==
* In ''[[Sonichu Special 4]]'', Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to [[Kacey]]'s [[Liquid Chris|kidnapper]]'s location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder. Or not, since CWCVille is effectively an absolute monarchy; Chris rules with undefined power and is of course above the law.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that homosexuality is - as it in the author's own mind - thoroughly suppressed.

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2026-09-20T03:39:40Z

WarnerBro:

{{Incomplete}}

A recurring tragicomic element of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is how Chris [[Chris and writing|''tries'' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[:File:Sonichu - Episode 7, Page 4.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s cockiness, the vices and shortcomings the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her Dragonite to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Kevin_the_Jew|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, their hypersexuality has directly led the protagonists into danger. They tend to become uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|twisted views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|sexual assault]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how mildly they were originally antagonised. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes or bring them to justice is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokémon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights violations and poor resource allocation that, unsurprisingly, fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run, and in fact are shown to be the mayor's cronies, with complete immunity from the law, and receive free houses, credit cards and other gifts from the mayor, not unlike Soviet nomenklatura.
* Fight scenes involving the main characters often have them beating up [[jerkop|jerkops]], innocent, mentally handicapped people who've been brainwashed into becoming [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s evil minions. It's not until ''Sonichu #9'' that anybody even tries to cure them of their brainwashing. Even then, it's explicitly mentioned that the "heroes" have killed several jerkops, knowing full well they are victims rather than villains.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
[[Image:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|"Hee Hee!"]]
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to her like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* [[Giovanni]]'s son [[Naitsirhc]] is shown to have ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon (Zapdos and Raikou) and sports even more in the team Chris describes him having. Combined with how no trainers from the video games or the anime appear in the series, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and friends, whose bodies are presumably decaying in shallow graves somewhere outside Saffron City. That, or for whatever reason, the heroes are simply not doing anything to stop Team Rocket from holding power over the world, which while less grim, is no less questionable from an ethical standpoint.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]], a protagonist, is shown as a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the blood of others.
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris and Sonichu to attack [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely ''existing'' and saying "Hee Hee" and "Want a girlfriend? Tough lightning!"
* No reason is given as to why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot at defeating Mary Lee Walsh. If they had missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- [[Blake|a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them]] -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"? Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
* A map of the area on page twelve shows that Sonic lives fairly close to Giovanni's undisguised headquarters. Why Sonic remained oblivious of and/or ignored the existence of Pokémon's biggest villain for so long is an exercise left to the reader.

===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that you can't always brute force your way through problems and that cunning, strategy, and determination can triumph over raw power, this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are. Due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* Sonic, a seasoned superhero, not only lets the much more inexperienced Sonichu go in ahead of him but does so even after suspecting that they're walking into a trap. Letting Sonichu take point and even springing the aforementioned trap without so much as a warning was pretty weaselly on Sonic's part.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; Chris isn't so lucky. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's "father", his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a self-aggrandizing rant and tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[Chris and his ego|ego]] than getting his and Wes's shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* Punchy unambiguously murders [[Mypoe]].
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions, Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for his own reasons. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know these reasons]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open, guarded solely by a powerless [[Flame the Sunbird|parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Speaking of [[Flame the Sunbird]], he's only able to fly for about 20 miles (the distance between the shores to where Bubbles is) before being winded. For a bird, especially one that's a self-styled guardian, this is a pathetic level of physical fitness.
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat him to a bloody pulp. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by half a dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain. Besides, Black Sonichu didn't even mean to aggravate them.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkhief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave. Granted, said person's head could be removed more-or-less unharmed, but football-kicking it into an old woman's face afterward pushes it right into one of these.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]] after loitering looking for [[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free girls]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card, or at the very least, warning the crowd when he realized that his reasoning wasn't getting through? Innocent bystanders might have gotten hurt or even killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not they clashed with her wedding gown. Chris evidently believes women care more about matching their outfits than about protecting the people they love. Also, why couldn't she just get a gown that didn't clash?
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad Chris lost interest in the franchise after this issue, so they'll never be seen or even mentioned again.

===Episode #13: ''Smashed Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his [[Patti Chandler|pet dog]]. In-story she merely turned from a dog into [[Patti-Chan|a magical talking dog]], but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], it becomes obvious that even in his fantasy world, Chris is too lazy to do any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command has been promoted to Vice Mayor, although we were led to believe [[Women's rights|she was just an overpowered secretary]] for a long time. Allison performs almost literally all of Chris's mayoral duties, which is [[Chris and the law|highly illegal]] because she doesn't have the relevant authority.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic the Hedgehog|Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes the highly progressive assumption that [[Third date|women always put out after the third date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy O'Neil|countless]] [[PandaHalo|lives]].

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has been flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to helping him. Magi-Chan should have been able to sense it telepathically or whatever.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[trolls|trolling]] works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Transgender Drama|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, [[Jason Kendrick Howell|Jason]] is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets long enough to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't even be assed to look for his own damn father himself. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Hell, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime is uploading pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about Rosechu being drawn with a penis.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him, and the latter goes even further by attempting to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year-old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are "dumb".

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday morning cartoon villain]], his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get <s>his</s> her teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Doctor Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with [[Silvana]]-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck an impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles for his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault, but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* [[Ivy]] refuses to pair up with anyone because she is holding out for Chris, despite this nominally being just practice. Since the class has equal amounts of boys and girls, this means George Philip, the boy she got paired up with, is being screwed over. Somehow, Ivy still gets a 99% in the class.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names, which doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who [[Simonla Rosechu|DigDugette416]] could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast, Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla and tries to keep an open mind about her despite also having his eye on [[Angelica Rosechu|someone else]], foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentleman on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Knuckles headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless rival suitor that potboiler romantic comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]], he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.
* Ms. Jackaras just abruptly dies halfway through the narrative and nobody even reacts except her sister, who replaces her instantly for some reason. Her sister mourns for precisely one panel.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's panties while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an unprompted, uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and psychopathic, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, and there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon, or even at all at this point. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an over-promoted secretary. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla when they were surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* CWCVille's hapless defenders are completely blindsided by the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]], sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while apparently not thinking to leave the [[CWCville Shopping Center]], the seat of the municipal government and the main target of the invasion, with any better defenders than [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] doesn't even bother to let the media know, let alone try to get assistance. Bionic and Darkbind for instance, only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup, especially when he literally had her at arms' length and in a position to easily capture or otherwise finish off.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon show basically no concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has befallen their city]].

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of sheer evil the "protagonists" exhibit in this issue clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifyingly violent and sadistic psychopaths]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|genocide]], this issue has it all.
* Chris poisons the planet's water supplies with his "[[Homos|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating a genocide against homosexuals, bisexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows an [[honor roll|inexcusable ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water supply for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris ''{{w|Rape by deception|rapes}}'' his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with "devil [[trolls]]", sealing it up beforehand as well to ensure that none can escape as he does so.
* Chris (by now you're probably realizing it's almost ''all'' Chris) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man]]'s [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris violently injects his own blood into his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that his evil behavior was due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation and was shown to have access to multiple legendaries. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations on the planet straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] destroy a populated high-rise building, killing and injuring hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face hard enough to knock out his teeth, for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* [[Collosal Chan]] breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman]]'s house completely unprovoked, and brutally attacks her to the extent of causing permanent paralysis, before having her stripped of her powers and sent to a maximum-security prison with no trial.
* Collosal Chan also willingly smashes the staff [[Count Graduon]] is sealed in and releases him at Mary's request, so she can "punish [Graduon] another day."
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (she refused a previous offer) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even infancy doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and his entourage, including a one-week-old girl and a [[Kel|preteen]], brutally execute four people in violent and inhumane ways. Remember, this is a comic Chris [[Chris and censorship|claims is aimed at children]].
* Chris disrespects [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|a national holiday]] by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==

===''Episode #22: A Sonichu Christmas''===

-WIP-
* Cerah makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a Jewish kid named Kevin in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie, made in the vague shape of a candle, bears no resemblance to any Jewish symbol. The cookie is vanilla-flavored, in case the kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cerah do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies.

===''Episode #23: Simonchu & Bananafunkle''===

* When Simonchu returns to see his sister, he is met with extreme hostility by both Sandy and Wild, with Sandy threatening to use Horn Drill to kill him and Wild even knocking him unconscious on sight. It's only until after Simonla shouts at them do they back down. It should also be made note of that [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|since Simonla never died]], neither Wild nor Sandy have any reason to act as violently as they do.
* After an intense night of fucking, [[Reginald Sneasel]] evolves into a Weavile and proceeds to destroy everything in the church. When Angelica wakes and finds him, he says he's too far gone as some sort of monster. Later in the episode, he hooks up with [[Layla]] and seems to have full control over his new form. It should be known that [[Chris and Writing|Weavile don't become more vicious upon evolving]], so that means that Reginald effectively used his evolution as an easy way out after ripping apart Angelica's church and breaking up with her.
* Simonchu apparently discovers a fossil of an undocumented Pokémon, which has been brought back to life. Said Pokémon also apparently used to be human high school senior and was hit by a car before being brought back as a new Pokémon... [[Chris and Writing|somehow]]. Rather then give it to proper researchers of the field for further study, Simonchu dumps it on [[Punchy Sonichu]] because he's apparently the only one who can understand it.
* Punchy agreeing to bring [[Bananasauros]] to his home to live with him wouldn't be all too terrible... if Layla, his girlfriend, wasn't ''also'' living with him. And of course, he didn't call ahead to say he was bringing company; let alone some weird banana dinosaur.
* While Bananasauros is effectively an animal who has little control over the situation, he is fully aware that him being there is straining Punchy and Layla's relationship. He doesn't bring it up or care, instead mooching off of Punchy's welfare and just sitting on the couch and gaming. In the end, Layla does indeed move out, and he shows no remorse for causing it.
* For the sake of science and research, Punchy gets Bananasauros to fuck a Ditto to make some eggs. Remember that this is a human mind inside of a dinosaur banana's body, being forced to have sex for whatever the hell species he is now.
* Before leaving, Layla flat-out punches Bananasauros in the face. While Layla has every right to be angry at Bananasauros, he'd done nothing to instigate that.

===''The Clip Show: Catching Up''===

==[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]==
===Episode 24, Part 2: The Clip Show: Catching Up===
*Sonichu has a dream where Rosechu and Chris are both trapped in a fire, and he only has time to save one of them. If he saves Chris, then Rosechu will die, and Sonichu won't be able to live without her. If he saves Rosechu, then Chris will die, and CWCville will have no mayor and cease to exist, <s>killing everyone in it</s> leaving everyone "lost in a void forever". Sonichu then saves Rosechu, abandoning everyone to their fate for the sake of someone who, for the record, will die anyway as a result of his own actions.

==''Sonichu'' Specials==
* In ''[[Sonichu Special 4]]'', Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to [[Kacey]]'s [[Liquid Chris|kidnapper]]'s location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder. Or not, since CWCVille is effectively an absolute monarchy; Chris rules with undefined power and is of course above the law.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that homosexuality is - as it in the author's own mind - thoroughly suppressed.

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

Bagget

2026-09-19T23:12:33Z

WarnerBro:

[[Image:Bagget.jpg||thumb|Bagget with backup.]]

'''Marcus Baggett''' (spelled by Chris as '''Bagget''') is a senior police detective who currently works for the Albemarle County Police Department. He is the "[[Jerkop]] of all Jerkops" who arrested Chris at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] in July [[2005]]. Baggett has done numerous good deeds over the years for his community; naturally, Chris has gone to great lengths to demonize him, proving once and for all that no matter the great deeds someone has done, [[Chris and his ego|if they inconvenience Chris in any way they're evil]]. When Chris was being arrested, he found the situation humorous when he learned the jerkop's name, thinking how "Baggett" sounds a lot like "[[Homos|faggot]]". [[Autism|Witty.]]

==In real life==
Not much is known about Baggett's personal life, but it is known that he was commended by the local [[Wikipedia:Virginia House of Delegates|House of Delegates]] for his selfless commitment to public safety after stepping down from his squad car to rescue two people from a smoking restaurant, shortly before it erupted into flames, on 9 March [[2002]]. Ironically, one of the sponsors of the resolution was [[Rob Bell|Robert Bell]], who would later on [[28 October 2011|defend Chris in court]].<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?031+ful+HJ620</ref>

In [[2008]], Baggett participated in the 16th Annual Polar Plunge along with several other police officers from the Albemarle County Police Department to raise money for the Special Olympics of [[Virginia]]. He personally succeeded in raising $630.<ref>[http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/marcus-baggett/marcusbaggett]</ref>

In [[2009]], Baggett was named The American Legion's Commonwealth of Virginia Law Enforcement Officer of the Year.<ref>[http://www.albemarle.org/upload/images/forms_center/departments/Police/forms/2009%20Annual%20Report.pdf]</ref> He later participated in the shooting of Colby Eppard on 1 [[January 2010]] after the 18-year-old stole a police car and shot at several officers. Baggett fired a [[Wikipedia:Spike strip|stinger]] to burst Eppard's tires, and subsequently fatally shot Eppard alongside several other officers.<ref>http://www.readthehook.com/stories/2010/02/25/COVER-eppard-authorites-duck-parents-d.aspx</ref>

==Chris's arrest==
From [[CWC's Diary#July|CWC's Diary]]:

{{quotebox|"July 20, 2005: … I was at the new [[Get-Tar Region|Target store]], just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these two [[Manajerks]] asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was [[Virgin with rage|NOT]]! I was there [[Love Quest|hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl]], like I usually do. Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two [[Jerkops]]! I was slightly intimidated, but mostly annoyed and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|ready to strike back on them]]. They asked me to leave, and never return. I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared [[Chris and oration|speech]] to say to them stupid Jerkops. And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pants]], and [[Kick the autistic|pinned me to the floor]]. Five Jerkops dog-piled on me as I struggled to get free. A thousand pounds of [[Pickle|sausages]] on my [[Obesity|180-pound]] body was seriously a cut-off for my Breathing Flow. They handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humiliated from being the victim, but I was [[Fangs|angry]] at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl. They drove me to the county jail, but fortunately, they did not keep me there; I was released to my [[Bob Chandler|family]]. But now I have to go to [[Chris and the law|court]] on July 29 at 9:00 AM at the Albemarle County Courthouse, close to the Downtown Mall. So now, I feel very miserable, sad, lonely and rejected. And, while I had the handcuffs on me, both my hands, mostly my right, were seriously cut off from blood flow, and they both felt numb. It was terrible. But my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and I are going to get back at them in court, in fact, I learned that the Jerkop who arrested me was called '''Bagget''' (that was the only thing about the situation that was hilarious; replace the “B” with an “F,” and you can see how [[Random-access humor|funny]] it was).}}

You'd think that Chris would recall that he had previously said that all cops were good so long as they wore blue and black.<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007#February]]</ref> However, because Baggett, a real police officer, arrested Chris (for completely legitimate reasons), he is suddenly not a [[TRUE and HONEST]] police officer. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay if they wear blue and black and don't try to arrest him for breaking the law.

==In the comic==
Bagget appeared in [[Sub-Episode 7]] in a dramatization of Chris's arrest at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]]. He is portrayed as the "Jerkop Daitenzen", a sort of strange evil [[Power Rangers|Power Ranger]], and a reference to ''[[Excel Saga]]''. He wears a brown uniform like the other [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] and at times wears a helmet in the same color. He also wears a pair of white gloves and boots, both with blue stripes to complete his appearance, looking somewhat like one of the many Kamen Riders, but without a mask. He commands a great number of Jerkops, as well as the [[Crackder]] that takes Chris down. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] seems to hold him in high regard, and at one point refers to him as "the strongest most evil villian [sic] ever,"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_66</ref><ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_67</ref> apparently making him more evil than [[Count Graduon]].

He is called into action after Chris assaults [[Turdijerk]] and [[Trebor Capman]], backed up by the [[Jerkhief]] and his men. He fights with a sword, and calls in Crackder to defeat Chris when he fails to fell the manchild himself, which it successfully does. He also briefly lapses into ye olde [[Chris and English|English]] for some reason.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_77</ref> After a brief round of torture, he then throws Chris into Crackder and they fly off to [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]], where he presents a hog-tied Chris to Mary Lee Walsh on a giant plate. Despite Chris's humiliating defeat at his hands, he never gets any kind of revenge on Bagget, and he disappears from the comic after handing Chris over.

He would later return in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], making a brief cameo at Mary Lee Walsh's villain meet-up. This was his last appearance in the comic, and his ultimate fate following the destruction of PVCC at the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] is unknown.

In later [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcons]], Chris changed his name to "'''Dagget'''"- it's not known whether the ''[[Wikipedia:The Angry Beavers|Angry Beavers]]'' reference was intentional.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Get-Tar Region]]
*[[PVCCitizens]]
*[[Chris and the law]]

{{people}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Jason Kendrick Howell

2026-09-19T23:09:04Z

WarnerBro:

{{Infobox Person
|name = Jason Kendrick Howell
|aliases = Liquid Snake Dork of Ages Howellgames<ref>[[Chris emails 2008]]</ref>
|image = Jasonhowell1.jpg
|gender = [[JERKS|MALE]]
|nationality = American
|race = White
|knownfor = {{•}} Creating Chris's Encyclopedia Dramatica page. 
{{•}} Being mistakenly blamed by Chris for CWCipedia being hacked.
|saga = {{saga|ed|cn}}, {{saga|miyamoto|cn}}
}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO [[GodJesus|GOD AND JESUS]] TO [[Death threats|KILL]] JASON KENDRICK HOWELL.|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

'''Jason Kendrick Howell''' is the original creator<ref>[https://encyclopediadramatica.win/index.php/Chris-chan/JKH_Interview Proof Jason was the creator.]</ref> of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|"Chris-chan" ED page]]. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] wanted to call the [[jerkop|jerkops]] on Howell for allegedly having sex with an [[BlueSpike|underage girl]], [[Kathleen]].<ref group = note>Spoiler: Howell never did have that underage sex.</ref> Howell goes by [[Metal Gear|"Liquid Snake"]] on [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]]'s /v/. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|According to Chris]], he is also "the Dork of Ages", a phrase [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|stolen]] from ''[[American Dad!]]''.<ref>"{{w|Dungeons and Wagons}}"</ref>

==In real life==

After Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] page he had some e-mail correspondence with Jason, from which Chris got Jason's phone number.<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008#August]]</ref> Chris later used the phone number to find the city which Jason lived in, as well as tracing down his [[MySpace]] page, where he found [[Kathleen]] by looking at Jason's friend list. Chris made the assumption that Kathleen was Jason's girlfriend and Jason has had sex with her, which, combined with Kathleen's status as a seventeen-year-old, led to his accusation of Jason [[pedofork|having underage sex]]. Chris also took note of the background image on Jason's MySpace page, and based Jason's appearance in the comic upon that picture.

[[File:Screenshot_2021-01-14_at_22.30.51.png|thumb|Jason, and Kathleen artistic recreation @miiashapphire ]]

After Jason's inclusion in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]], Chris exchanged some more e-mails with him, but it soon came to a hold. About a year later Chris's [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu site]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash]]. Chris, assuming that Jason was behind the deed, responded by calling him and making the infamous "[[Jason Kendrick Howell message|I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]" threat.

Jason eventually joined forces with [[Vivian Gee]], recording his own voice for the [[Audiobooks]]. He also provided commentary for the
[[Official Videobooks]], though he didn't so much comment on the videobooks so much as just ramble about the history of Chris with 4chan and ED.

==In ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:Jason Kendrick Howell.jpg|250px|thumb|Jason as he appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]].]]
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason, resembling {{w|Big Boss (Metal Gear)|Big Boss}} of the ''[[Metal Gear]]'' series.]]

Jason appears in ''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]'' in the episode, "Rage Against the Garbage", as the episode's primary antagonist. He appears to reside in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building on the 72nd floor <ref group = note>Seems to be based on the fact that 72 is 66+6, and that these numbers make 666, a number associated with the Devil.</ref>

Jason wears a cloak most of the time, and also has an eyepatch, headband, and brown hair. The eyepatch, headband, and hair color sparked some curiosity and confusion amongst the [[trolls]], considering that it was almost a blatant reference to {{w|Big Boss (Metal Gear)|Big Boss}} of the ''[[Metal Gear]]'' series. Some were worried that Chris had actually played ''MGS'', and was now [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping it off]]. However, it was revealed later by Jason himself that he actually sent Chris a photograph of himself wearing an eyepatch. (Jason also tried to send Chris the first disc of ''{{w|Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence}}'', but due to Chris's mail paranoia at the time, it was returned to the sender.<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrbYRbYOifs A Jason Retrospective, Part 3] </ref>)

[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] confront Jason and [[Kathleen]] over the images featured on the website of Rosechu's TRUE and HONEST [[china|genitalia]]. After refusing to take down the website following Sonichu's shitty and meaningless speech, Sonichu attempts to fight Jason, only to have his furry ass kicked by Jason's "dark force" powers. Rosechu (as [[The Incredible Lioness]]) then face-rapes him nearly to death (a move [[Things Chris has ripped off|stolen]] from Kekko Kamen), but the "dark forces" keep him alive.

Later on, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Jason is seen talking with [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Beel]] and [[Clyde Cash]] on the "66+6" floor. He calls them all [[homos|Gaywads]] and flies off with [[Kathleen]] at his side to his two-storey house in the suburbs.

In a [[Book10Replacement|video]] released on 30 [[October 2010]], Chris presents a revised ending of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], in which he reveals that the couple broke up when Kathleen cheated on him with their secretary, and she later went to maximum security prison for smoking [[Tobacky|pot]], where she shares a cell with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Jason supposedly dies offscreen in a car crash.

==See also==
*[[Kathleen]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell interview]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell message]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Jasonhowell 08-09-12.PNG
</gallery>
{{Notes}}
{{References}}
==External links==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPCgkCaSy0s A Jason Retrospective: Jason talks of his part in the trolling] by [[Vivian Gee]]

{{EDSaga}}
{{MiyamotoSaga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{People}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Howell, Jason Kendrick}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Tennessee]]

THAT IS MY HOUSE

2026-09-19T23:04:53Z

WarnerBro:

[[File:DeathStarCam7.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Star Wars|Do you ''realize''...? Do... you... '''realize''' something? Let me tell you: If the Rebel Alliance sees those Death Star plans, that you put in the damn droid, they could destroy our base, and we would have to move out of it...?]]]]

'''THAT IS MY HOUSE''', aka '''ECV 00193''', is a video uploaded on 27 [[August 2009]], in which [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] demands footage of his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] be removed from the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] [[Chris and anger|in a calm and concise manner]].

Chris took down the video not too long afterward, only for it be re-uploaded by [[troll]] [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|archivists]]. On 29 August 2009, an uncut version of the video featuring [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was acquired by [[Vivian Gee]] and [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|leaked]] onto [[YouTube]].

This video is easily one of Christian's most infamous and popular videos, with a reupload of the uncut version with Bob cracking 2.1 million views as of [[December 2025]]. In [[January 2024]], meme edits of the video began circulating on YouTube, often replacing Chris and Bob with fictional characters or placing them in alternative settings. In [[November 2025]], Chris commented about the trend, saying that he still couldn't laugh off the incident and that it still stung him, and that he regretted that the house tour video was leaked.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Regret]]</ref>

The video was even referenced in an episode of ''[[Smiling Friends]]''; the show's creators previously mentioned being influenced by this video when they expressed wanting to get Chris a cameo role on the show.

==YouTube Version==
{{Tardrage|1=border:12px double rgb(255,0,0)|2=EXTREME}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| ytid = m3xeZTBgvwg
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|[[The Internet]]}}
| style = {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Chan creepy smile]]
| next = [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|ECV 00192]]
}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|I was Already In Deep Enough, but THIS IS TOO DEEP! GET ALL MY HOUSE IMAGES OFF THE INTERNET!

I am counting on ALL FULL Positive Cooperation in this major matter.

Christian Weston Chandler, August 17 [sic], 2009 }}

==Uncut Version==
{{quote|Shut that goddamn thing off!|Bob Chandler, addressing his old foe: that ''goddamn Internet''.}}

An uncut version entitled '''ECV 00192''' was posted by Vivian on 29 August 2009, where Bob walks in and scolds Chris. This is the second and last time we see Bob showing any kind of parental authority over Chris. In [[Mailbag 25]], Chris revealed that he lied to his father, telling him that he had gotten the house videos off of the Internet.

We also learn the real reason why Chris's parents are concerned about the tour videos: the fear that the [https://www.gcph.info/ Health Department of Greene County] will discover the squalor of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler household]] and condemn it. Unsurprisingly, in typical CWC fashion, [[Chris and remorse|Chris doesn't seem to care about that]] and is only concerned that he got in trouble with his parents.

Also noteworthy is the fact that this marks the first Chris video explicitly featuring another living, breathing person (as opposed to [[Kimmi|an inflatable person, made of plastic]]).

{{Tardrage|1=border:12px double rgb(255,0,0)|2=EXTREME}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00192
| video = {{#ev:youtube|riHgBEu3OSk}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2009]]
| style = {{Comedy|[[Random-access humor|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| next = [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris races into the frame, obviously angry and upset; he begins speaking quietly, but gradually gets louder'']

This does not even deserve a [[Captain's Log]] introduction... [''dramatic [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] removal''] because this is dead serious! The [[Tour of Chris's House|inside and outside tour]] I did A FEW MONTHS ago of my house, everyone on the [[Internet]]...

[''Chris jumps up and suddenly begins to scream and yell in a fit of childish rage, flapping his arms as he puts louder emphasis on certain words, sounding somewhat similar to Gilbert Gottfried'']

{{RageQuote|[[Barbara Chandler|MY MOTHER]] AND [[Bob Chandler|MY FATHER]] ARE}}

'''ANGRY AT ME!''' They're BLAMING it at me! IT'S my fault, {{RageQuote|''I ADMIT IT!''}} it's my fault! I WANT everything a-{{RageQuote|'''''BOUT MY HOUSE''''' ''OFF!'' ''THE!'' ''INNERNET!''}}

[''Chris starts gesticulating ridiculously''] I'll send in detectives! I'll send in [[police]]! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY {{RageQuote|''[[POWER]]!''}}

'''Chris''': Just get it ''OFF'' the internet...

'''Bob''': Listen-to-me! [''muffled by Chris's "OFF THE INTERNET!"''] Listen to me.

'''Chris''': [''his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|expression changes rapidly]] and slowly turns to face Bob''] Yes...

'''Bob''': Listen to ''ME''.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Bob''': Shut that goddamn thing off!

[''Chris [[stress sigh|sighs]] and turns off his TV, unaware or indifferent to the fact that his [[PSEye|camera]] is still recording the conversation. Bob walks over to him'']

'''Bob''': I don't care what you do. [''pointing at PSEye''] You get all that stuff off of there. Tonight.

'''Chris''': I'm working on it. [''slaps hands to his side'']

'''Bob''': Go work on it! [''points to the door, instructing Chris to go to the computer downstairs'']

'''Chris''': I am workin-

'''Bob''': Do you ''realize''...? Do you '''''realize''''' something? Let me tell you: If the [http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/thomas-jefferson/ Health Department of Greene County]... sees those videos... that you put on the damn Internet... they could condemn our house, and we would have to move out of it...?

'''Chris''': [''sighs''] I see.

'''Bob''': You go get that [''nervously laughs when saying the next few words''] goddamn stuff off of there and fast!

'''Chris''': I'm ''working'' on it! I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...

'''Bob''': No...

'''Chris''': Its—It's, ahh, ''out of my control'' [''flails arms'']

'''Bob''': No, ''you'' get 'em off.

'''Chris''': It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! ''I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO''-

'''Bob''': You loaded them up there, you unload 'em!

'''Chris''': I'm working on it!

'''Bob''': Go ''do it''!

'''Chris''': ''I AM WORK'- I AM DOIN' IT... I'M STARTIN'...''

'''Bob''': Get in ''here'' and ''do it''!

'''Chris''': I- [''sputters'']

'''Bob''': [''walks out of the room''] I'll be up all night with you if ''I have to''. You won't get any sleep until that stuff's off.

'''Chris''': I'm working on it!

'''Bob''': [''from outside''] Get in there and start!

'''Chris''': ''I'M WOR-KIN' ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[Trolls|E'RRYBODY]], [[True and Loyal Fanbase|IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET-''

'''Bob''': [''interrupting''] Listen!

'''Chris''': -about our house!

'''Bob''': I don't wanna get kicked outta my house. By the Health Department. And what you just did was stick a [[Cutco|knife]] in our back, and kill us! [''Bob exits the room again'']

'''Chris''': Aw'right... lemme just...

'''Bob''': Get that stuff ''offa'' there...

'''Chris''': ''I'M '''WORK'''''-

'''Bob''': ...and get it offa there fast!

'''Chris''': I'm ''workin''' on it! I'm ''WORKIN''' on it! [''Chris turns his TV back on'']

So yeah, please, get everything off the Internet...

{{RageQuote|Now, NOW, NOW, ''NOW'', ''NOW'', ''NOOOOW!''}}

[''Chris stomps the ground as he yells like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, the camera [[Obesity|noticeably shakes]]; he then quickly calms down, then holds up the peace sign'']

[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse]] the [[trolls]], peace to everybody else.

==The Greene County Health Department responds==
In addition to creating [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect many, many mirrors of the videos Bob wanted cut down], some more intrepid viewers actually did contact the Greene County Health Department. The Health Department did respond (3 weeks later) to one such letter, although they seemed indifferent to their living situation, citing that the Chandler's messes were firmly confined within their home and seemingly not affecting their community. They stated that their decision to live in a garbage house full of dirty dishes and animal feces was part of their inalienable rights as guaranteed by the US Constitution:

{{quotebox|Dear Bob S:

Thank you for your interest in this situation. The challenge is to
clarify if the conditions at this residence are a risk to the public's
health or if they are personal risks accepted by the individuals that
choose to live there.

Public Health relates to the general health of a community. When
diseases can be transmitted from person to person or when the health
risk affects the community, regulations have normally been enacted to
address these public health threats. Even so, the individual's right to
choose is protected by the Constitution. We know smoking greatly
increases the risk of cancer and heart disease, yet individuals continue
to choose to smoke. Regulations are in place to minimize public exposure
to contaminated or mishandled foods, yet some individuals still choose
to eat raw hamburger. In the case you've brought to our attention, the
"deplorable conditions" you refer to appear to be confined to the
individual residence and are the choice of those that live there. They
do not appear to effect the health of the community. There are no
specific health regulations that address individual choices in private
living conditions.

We have contacted the building official to see if any building, zoning
of fire prevention laws apply and were informed that they did not. We
also contacted the Greene County Attorney to see if he knew of any
County ordinances that would be applicable. He did not know of any. We
also contacted adult protective services to make sure they are aware of
the situation.

Please contact me if I can be of further assistance.

Jeffrey T. McDaniel 
Environmental Health Manager 
[http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/thomasjefferson/ Thomas Jefferson Health District]}}

This raises the question of whether Chris is properly informed about the risks to his health and all of his rights as a disabled person (especially the right to [[Chris and mental healthcare|humane psychiatric treatment]] that would help him live on his own), although this probably isn't a matter for the Health Department.

==Fan videos==
{|align="center"
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok (Presented to You by Christian Weston Chandler)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TLN-6lKDdhI}}
| stardate = 09 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject =
| type = Remix to "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
| info = Arguably the most popular fan video of them all.}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = BUST A CHRIS
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9j3IUYX8QGU}}
| Stardate =
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = NOW MIX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dboXPv-eIiU}}
| Stardate =
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "That's My House!" - Ca. 1912 Silent Film Starring Christian and Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|csQWQzpfDBc}}
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tregnier279 tregnier279]
| subject =
| type = Remix
| info = }}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = (YTPMV) THAT IS MY GENTLEMENTLEMEN
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dFUikkbOf40}}
| stardate = 25 [[April 2011]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/RainingMetal?feature=mhum RainingMetal]
| subject =
| type = YouTube Poop Music Video}}
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler vs Darth Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NcBSyaWnk9I}}
| stardate = 25 [[March 2016]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI2gRuUl9SVnjsfMOwoXXDA Griffin Law]
| type = (Film) Parody
| info = Bob as [[Star Wars|Darth Vader]].}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan and Bob fight but its Pirate voices
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w73aHGYTzxU}}
| stardate = 18 [[November 2023]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/@DockingTwo DockingTwo]
| type = Parody}}
|-
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = chris chan reference in smiling friends
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Vn--zr3nQYg}}
| stardate = 6 [[October 2025]]
| maker = [[Adult Swim]]; [https://www.youtube.com/@ramonacheeseburger/ Mona]
| type = Yup, he's (sort of) on TV!}}
|-
|}

==See also==
*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Chris and negotiation]]
*[[Look, I Am helping my mother and I with the monies]]
*[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]
*[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2009#My mother and my father are angry with me!]], an email dated around the time the video was uploaded
{{References}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]|nextlink=[[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]|}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-27]]
[[Category:Videos published to ChristianWChandler]]

Chris and anger

2026-09-19T23:04:30Z

WarnerBro:

{{dated}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
 

<center>{{#ev:youtube|_aolN7WNKno}}</center>

{{Quote|I'm not a man who likes to keep rage constantly in my [[heart level|heart]].|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], [[List of Chris's lies|lying through his]] [[fangs|teeth]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3]]</ref>}}

To call Chris an angry person would be an understatement. Chris has '''anger''' management issues that usually surface when he is under [[stress]]. Trolls refer to Chris's fits of rage as "'''tard rage'''", an expression normally used to describe the seemingly [[100_2278|superhuman strength]] a normally mild-tempered [[slow-in-the-mind]] displays when he or she is pushed too far and goes on an anger-fueled rampage. Although in Chris's case, "superhuman" and "strength" can easily be replaced with "impotent" and "bawling".

==Causes of Chris's anger==
[[Image:Rawr fag.jpg|thumb|[[12_January_2010#Part_2|A typical fit of tard rage.]]]]

Chris's issues with anger may stem from being tormented in his early childhood by his [[abusive babysitter]], whom he was frequently left under the care of while [[Borb]] would go out clubbin' and takin' shots. She allegedly traumatized Chris by locking him up in a [[Chris's room|room full of toys]] when he was a year old. Ironically, Chris did the same to himself up until the date of his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] at almost age 40.

Another person who may be behind Chris's anger issues could have been his late father, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]. Being Bob's son, Chris would likely have been afraid to retaliate against the things Bob did that annoyed him, such as very rarely washing his hands, making Chris remove videos from "[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|the damn Internet]]", and occasionally [[Bob Walks In|cutting down Chris's access to the web]]. Chris then takes out his anger on innocent, well-meaning [[trolls]], such as [[Clyde Cash]].

Another cause of Chris's anger is the fact that up until 30 years of age, Chris was a [[virgin with rage|virgin]]. Being a virgin seemed to make Chris feel like he was entitled to be allowed frequent moments of rage and seeing as he only [[Mass debating|mass debated]] twice a week due to his bent [[duck]], he may have had large amounts of [[semen|testosterone]] stored up in his body he just needed to [[Recycling|get out]]. Sexual frustration can make even the best of us a bit cranky, though usually not to this extreme. Even after finally losing his virginity, however, Chris's anger issues persisted; a few days after he engaged in hanky-panky with [[Mia Hamm]], Chris ended his 2-year hiatus from [[Twitter]] just to wish death upon [[Michael Snyder]].

Furthermore, Chris is [[autism|autistic]] and therefore lacks an understanding of the social restraints of anger. When he gets angry, he sees no reason why he shouldn't go positively ''nuts''. This and the amount of bottled-up stress that autism produces have shown that autistic ''children'' can be very short-tempered. Chris, however, is not an autistic child – he is an autistic ''adult'', and while most other autistics learn how to cope with stress in ways other than tantrums by the time they're in their 30s, Chris hasn't. Somewhat ironically, Chris's autism seems to cause him a large amount of anger, since the rest of the world will not acknowledge the "brilliance" of ''Sonichu'', which is apparently directly brought about by Chris's autism.

But the one thing that causes Chris's anger, more than anything, is the lack of control he has over everything. His own [[ego]] refuses to allow Chris to think of anything but himself, and when things spiral out of control, he gets frustrated. When [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob demanded that Chris take down the videos of their house]], Chris could only flail and tell him that he didn't know what to do, only to tell his "fans" to take it down for him. When [[Liquid Chris|someone pretends to be him]] and be more popular than him, he rages because he feels that it's his popularity, not the faker's. When people [[Asperchu|poke fun at him]] or [[Mailbag 39|constantly question one's gender]], he goes into a hissy fit.

Chris's anger issues date back to before even the formal beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. In [[2000]], he was prescribed the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paxil]] to help manage his frustration and anger, and he continued to take the drug for several years. Whatever effect his medication had, it clearly wasn't enough.

==Examples of Chris's anger==
[[File:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|Now with the Blachu Medallion.]]

The way Chris expresses his anger can be considered confusing, to say the least. In one of his early fits of rage, he began to shout "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]" at several [[jerkop]]s who were trying to kick him out of a local [[Walmart]]. In general, Chris expresses anger like an Internet tough guy would do, [[A Message to the Trolls|taking out his anger on a video camera]] knowing that it obviously can't and won't fight back. This can be seen in one of his videos on Clyde Cash, where he seems to be "Hulking up". He also used to beat up representations of people he disliked in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''. On the other hand, even as he is seemingly scared of expressing his anger in real life, he seems to have outbursts when sufficiently pushed as well. Chris was at one point forced to take anger management classes sometime after his final confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. What happened during this epic struggle is only known in Chris's own words.

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attack]] that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|PVCC]] for a year, and I had to take an anger management course and see a psychiatrist for a while. I was allowed back in.|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]}}

{{quote|I had to meet her in her office, and I got angry at her then. yada, yada, yada; anger management and all that. [...] I pretended I was talking with Sonichu, and he talked through me, and I cursed Mary with a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha attack.|[[Jackie Chat 5]]}}

A great example of Chris's anger can be seen in one of Chris's most infamous videos, his "[[YouTube Finale]]". In this video, Chris repeatedly threatens poor Clyde, claiming he will indeed [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|strangle him]] someday, even going as far as telling Clyde he will even commit this heinous and reprehensible act in a police station, showing Chris has no control over his angry feelings. The fact that Clyde was only trolling Chris in an attempt to lash out at him for his role in the fictional death of his late brother [[Ryan Cash]] shows even further how much Chris may still require a couple of anger management classes. His cameras would also benefit from some relief, as he often punches them to dramatically end his more rage-infused videos.

On several occasions, Chris has also shouted and screamed in videos, and concluded his argument with some sort of a heinous threat — and promptly followed this up with his trademark conclusion of saying "peace" and showing the peace sign, or with "Have a nice day," or something similar. Chris is apparently completely oblivious to how jarring it is to go from yelling [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|"get everything off the internet ''now'', '''''now, NOW, NOWNOWNOWNOOOOOW!!!!'''''"]] to "Curse the trolls, peace to everyone else" immediately afterward.

{{quote|I will be continuing my comics at the moment. But any FURTHER incident and not only will I STOP the comic, but I WILL go to the [[law|police]]. ALL RIGHT? Back the fuck off. Have a good day.|[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Chris will strangle that Clyde Cash]].}}

Occasionally, when enraged, his tendency to type important words in ALL CAPS becomes more prominent. Compare these two e-mails from the [[Miyamoto Saga]] — the first sounds fairly calm, though he does let loose one all-caps phrase. The second sounds angrier and possibly a bit desperate.

{{quote|Also, Please inform [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]], but I have just awoken Inspired [[Sonichu]]-Wise; I have figured out the Opening Title Movie for [[Sonichu's Adventure]], the Prequel Comic for the possible ''[[Pokémon]] Lightning'' Version, and the monitary-type collectibles in Sonichu's Adventure; NOT RINGS, but C-Quarters (the main money) and W-Quarters (equals 10 C-Quarters).|Chris explaining shit nobody cares about.}}

{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have invested THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in [[Nintendo]] Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA. I have also attached My List of Video Games I have in my collection; 90 PERCENT of Which were ALL BOUGHT BRAND NEW while available in the stores during its MINT Availability. [[Chris and English|SURLY]] you can spot back about just under $800 for our Trip To Seattle in advance.|Chris on his knees begging for money so he can fly to [[Redmond]], citing his extensive collection of Nintendo games as the reason why Miyamoto should fork over $700.}}

Other examples of Chris's anger show him taking out his tard rage on his [[Clown Doll]]. In the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]] video, a picture of Clyde Cash was taped to the doll, and Chris beat it like a spoiled 3-year-old who smashes a plate of broccoli because he didn't get his way. He also attempted to rip off its head at one point, only to have it slide out through his greasy palms. Chris would attempt to bite the doll's head off again in the [[Sign Destruction Video]], but fans of the doll will be relieved to know that Chris is far too weak to break anything of value; he was merely able to tear off the clown's hat. In his video [[Chris Loses It]], Chris proved to us that he's able to shred in half a small cardboard box, but is unable to go through light-press wood. The video also shows his poor acting skills only equal to his overall stamina, since he's out of breath before the end of the first minute of the video.

{{quote|RRRAAAARRGGHH!!|Most of the monologue in the Chris Loses It video.}}

Another example has shown that Chris can and will blow up at people, even on the telephone. When Chris mistakenly believed that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] had hacked his website, he left an [[Jason_Kendrick_Howell_message|angry voicemail]]. In the [[Father Call]], Chris quickly became rude to [[Kacey]]'s father, Matthew, especially when the man came down on Chris for his [[health]] and his attitude; he even seemingly threatened Matthew after he called Chris [[naïve]], only backing down when Chris was reminded he was making threats to a former Marine. Even worse, when Chris [[Kacey and Liquid Call|talked to Kacey and Liquid]], he came up in arms over Liquid's continued referral of "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]" and was completely oblivious to the fact that Kacey was getting upset over the entire thing. Even worse, Chris attempted to hang up on both Matthew AND Kacey, only succeeding with Kacey because he got his [[Barbera Chandler|mom]] and dad in on the conversation. Both instances show that Chris loses his [[speech impediment|stammering]] and actually starts speaking normally when enraged.

Around the time when Chris opened the Mailbag to his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|adoring fans]], another factor that caused Chris some notable grief was discovered to be the mention of any similarity between high-functioning autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]]. Chris has shown himself to be quite adamant that HFA and Asperger's are entirely unrelated, despite documentation by researchers suggesting quite the opposite. Whilst the anger related to this is of a far lesser magnitude in comparison to, for example, the Liquid Chris saga, it's still clear he's easily irritated by the mere mention of the matter:

{{quote|IF ANYTHING, the Asperger people ARE and HAVE BEEN NORMAL. They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such. THOSE Characteristics can be FAKED by them who are MOST NORMAL compared to us TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] article on Asperger's syndrome.}}

It's surprising at first how irritated Chris is by this matter. However, the CWCipedia article makes it clear that Chris is angry at Asperger's sufferers for "stealing" the limelight from autistic folks such as himself. He seems to believe that those diagnosed with the condition are faking it to get attention, [[Chris and his Ego|attention that he feels he deserves as an autistic person]].

A rare example where Chris's anger manifested into physical violence against others would be the infamous [[26_December_2014|blarms incident]] where he maced a GameStop employee during his [[Sonic Boom Protests|war on Sonic's new arm color.]]

==Decline of the tard raging==
In recent years, Chris's behavior has generally started to get much less aggressive. Possible reasons for this include medication, effects of therapy, becoming more relaxed in his older age, or an increasing (but not perfect) resistance to trolls and [[weens]] brought on by years of wear.

Some of Chris's medication is credited for anxiety relief by him, including Paxil/Paroxetine, an unspecified blood-pressure prescription, and Valium.<ref name=meds>[[August 2017 tweets]]</ref> He attended therapy after the [[pepper spray]] incident and apparently learned new methods of coping. An example of this can be seen in the revised [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which includes a text that appears to be inspired by a therapy session.

For examples of trolling which didn't elicit rage, Chris did not go into a fit when the [[Jeff/Francine]] troll tried to "steal" his identity, making videos on it but refraining from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|screaming as he did during the Liquid Saga]]. [[Michael Hirtes]]'s attempts to troll him were almost always met by Chris simply blocking his multiple accounts, until Chris gave up and just "[disabled notifications] with this kid, and let him go on". Similarly, in response to [[PewDiePie]]'s video dedicated entirely to Chris, instead of complaining about him making that video, which is completely devoted to criticizing him, Chris instead simply requested that he direct message him.

On the other hand, examples of when Chris recently raged include threatening [[Lulu]]'s executives with violence, [[Pmurt]]'s presidency, [[August 2017 tweets|becoming angry at weens when they hassled Nowacking about him]], [[HarassCWCdirectly|getting angry about weens harassing Doopie to get into her pants]], [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|having a meltdown when he thought trolls ruined his relationship with Jessica Quinn]], and [[Twitter_blocks_from_TF2_Analysis_crew|raging]] at weens who got him [[Apologies_to_the_liked_Bronies_and_Pegasisters;_PLEASE_UNBLOCK_ME_ON_TWITTER!|blocked]] by several people in the My Little Pony fandom which he follows. This shows that some things still trigger Chris more than others.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = My Bad Side
| ytid = SyYGgtN7s9M
| Stardate = 18 January 2012
| Maker = GhostofBillRiley
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ultimate Chris Chan Rage Compilation (1998-2021)
| ytid = Kh9G-orVDYM
| Stardate = 28 October 2021
| Maker = Shkrugg McSchlugg
| Subject = Rage
| Video Type = Compilation
| Other Info =
}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Virgin with rage]]
*[[Death threats]]
*[[:Category:Videos with RAGE|Videos with Rage]]

{{Chris and}}
{{Health}}

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2026-09-19T23:03:15Z

WarnerBro:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three [[Chris and the law|illegal]] videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dreams|Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN blogs]]}}

[[File:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest.]]

In [[2007|June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[United States of America|America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] port of the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two PSPs and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 PAX (Penny Arcade Expo) festival.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be overstated; failure to win the contest was not an option.

==The Original Version==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|nJ3o3kQZWm8}}</center>

==Chris's Version: "Master Onion A-La Mode"==
To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the "Chop Chop Master Onion Rap". Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well (or at least didn't pay much attention to the lyrics). He read the lyrics while "performing," not having bothered to rehearse/learn the lines. (But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared?)

Oddly, he peppered the video with various video effects that seem to come from the [[PSEye]] program EyeCreate, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during when Chris first does the "[[duck]] and turn" part of the song. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice' (or to prove he was "good with [[Chris and electronics|electronics]]"), but in the end, it was so amateurish and incoherent as to be laughable. It's worth noting that [[Chris's birthday|his birthday]] was almost 8 months away, unless he meant to say that it's "coming early" when he wins the PSPs and gives one to Megan. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[Chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise.

Also, at one point, a fire effect is shown at the bottom of the screen. [[2014 house fire|For those fond of "signs" and "ideas of reference," make of that what you will]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| ytid = cEmM4JKZK8I
| stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Megan|text}} {{Stackhouse|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul Calibur#Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC is Angry]]
}}

{{collapsible|Transcript|
<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and go with him now.
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get [[Rocky Shoemaker|rocky]],
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a [[Muscle bra|tit]]-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem>}}

==Campaign==
[[File:Stink Lines by Archwig.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation]]
{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper [''sic''] the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more)}}

Chris's video made it into the top 10, giving him just a small amount of luck as the contest was rather obscure (at the time) and a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]]. Chris asked for votes from many people:

* At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving it over. Obviously, no one voted.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref>
* Chris badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Cole ended up never voting because either Chris did not care about Cole's plight, or he simply was just that lazy.
* Chris also asked Susan Hannifan,<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#July]]</ref> a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] guidance counselor to whom Chris showed a disrespectful attitude in the past.<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004]]</ref>
* Chris wrote ads on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], [[CWC's Pokésite 2]], [[MySpace]], [[PSN blogs|PSN]], his [[Hot Wheels]] site, and his Bionicle site.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes]]</ref>

Chris also took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts. On the day before voting ended, he posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].{{clear}}

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, unsurprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Being the narcissist manchild he is, Chris has bore a grudge against him for a long time, as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video is technically {{w|a cappella}}. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Perhaps Chris, who comes from a more conservative artistic background, assumed any use of audio effects or a multitrack recorder was out, even if all the sounds were generated by the voice.

As for "multiple people", Adam's sister was present in his video, but she never sang on it.

Chris, of course, violated the rules to a far worse extent than Adam - inserting his own lyrics, to say nothing of rampant vote-stuffing. How Chris even made the top 10 is a mystery; the judges likely observed the obvious fact that something is [[Slow-in-the-minds|wrong]] with Chris and took pity on him.

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (It is unknown why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}

==Aftermath==

[[Chris and anger|Infuriated]] over his loss, Chris sent an angry email to Sony executives on 3 [[August 2007]], blasting them for refusing to award him the Seattle trip.

The email is a whiny and rambling tirade where Chris begs for first prize, because winning the video game contest represented his only opportunity at losing his [[virgin with rage]] status to [[Megan Schroeder]] and giving birth to his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Furthermore, Chris accuses the company of discriminating against autistic individuals, solely for failing to reward them with [[Chris and his ego|special treatment]]:<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007#August]]</ref>

{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

[[Chris and reality|I had my fantasies]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|having fun with Megan]], taking her to a really extravagent [''sic''] destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC is Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against Adam and the other winners, using his time-honored "Kick the Autistic" crutch. When people told him to relax, he told them to shut up: this resulted in a temporary ban from PSN moderators.

The same day, Chris sent another angry e-mail to Sony executives, this time enclosing a systematic dissection of why everyone else's video was in violation of contest rules. Chris evidently [[Chris and hypocrisy|overlooked]] his own questionable ethics of mercilessly vote-stuffing with sockpuppet accounts and begging everyone on his e-mail contact list to vote for him. Sony later replied with a canned response, indicating that his letter was not even read at all and that Chris would need to resort to more drastic measures.

Two days later, Chris would continue his rampage against Adam Stackhouse by creating a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. That page substituted his own name for Stackhouse's and also included the following disclaimer:

{{quote|<nowiki>*</nowiki>The EX-Winner, Adam Stackhouse, was DISQUALIFIED on the grounds of violating the Official Rules on TWO COUNTS: 
-He Had Licensed BeatBox Music playing from a licensed BoomBox. 
-He Had his SISTER ILLEGALLY in the video without authorized consent. 
 
We of the Playstation Underground apologize for the confusion and inconvience of not having dealt with this INJUSTICE sooner. Please disregard any web pages that may state the contrary; they shall be taken down by our webmaster momentary}}

He then went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
<nowiki>http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms</nowiki>.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the [[List of Chris's Lies|Honest]], Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

Chris later escalated his campaign by producing a video titled [[CWC is Angry]]. In the video, Chris prints out a picture of Stackhouse and his sister and uses it as a pellet gun target for two continuous minutes. Although the video was originally intended to be a vindictive show of intimidation, the mood was spoiled by an episode of ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' blaring loudly in the background, not to mention Chris' weapon of choice was a [[Megatron pistol|toy]] [[Transformer]].

During Chris's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost because she had no interest in going on a trip alone with him, given his hands-on approach to their relationship. Whether or not she would have accompanied him, she was upset by his in-person interactions with her.

{{quote|First I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the contest because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me. I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be.|Megan, [[Heart level|shattering Chris' heart]]}}

The way Chris treated Adam and his sister after they won probably did not help matters either. Chris finally went on to claim that he had contracted a "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body from slapping together his half-assed contest entry. From that point onwards, Megan's [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007|e-mail correspondence with Chris]] became much less frequent and a little cooler in tone, indicating that while [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] may have been the final nail in the coffin for their friendship, the fall-out from this contest was the first nail in that coffin.

Two versions of the video exist. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. This version is most likely the original version ''before'' Megan broke off contact with Chris, as is evidenced by [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan is annoyed and creeped out|an angry email she sent him after returning from her Kentucky trip]].<ref>"Also I can't say I like how '''you used my photo in your video'''... (emphasis added)</ref>

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to ease his pain from losing the contest--Parappathe''[[Rape|raping]]''<nowiki></nowiki>dog. [[Chris and English|Good job]].<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| ytid = TLN-6lKDdhI
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| stardate = 9 [[January 2010]]
| type = Remix of "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion Rap
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YfW82twiD5E}}
| maker = SiIvaGunner
| stardate = 25 [[May 2016]]
| type = High quality video game rip
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = MUSIC VIDEO - CWC PaRappa the Rapper Onion A-La Mode RE-ENACTMENT
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bw17ZHAMN98}}
| maker = CopperCab
| stardate = 19 [[October 2017]]
| type = Re-enactment of Chris's rap
}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[https://gofile.io/d/AAEjJy Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{StackhouseSaga}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Stackhouse Saga]]
[[Category:Videos published to Sonichu]]

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2026-09-19T22:58:08Z

WarnerBro:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three [[Chris and the law|illegal]] videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dreams|Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN blogs]]}}

[[File:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest.]]

In [[2007|June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[United States of America|America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] port of the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two PSPs and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 PAX (Penny Arcade Expo) festival.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be overstated; failure to win the contest was not an option.

==The Original Version==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|nJ3o3kQZWm8}}</center>

==Chris's Version: "Master Onion A-La Mode"==
To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the "Chop Chop Master Onion Rap". Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well (or at least didn't pay much attention to the lyrics). He read the lyrics while "performing," not having bothered to rehearse/learn the lines. (But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared?)

Oddly, he peppered the video with various video effects that seem to come from the [[PSEye]] program EyeCreate, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during when Chris first does the "[[duck]] and turn" part of the song. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice' (or to prove he was "good with [[Chris and electronics|electronics]]"), but in the end, it was so amateurish and incoherent as to be laughable. It's worth noting that [[Chris's birthday|his birthday]] was almost 8 months away, unless he meant to say that it's "coming early" when he wins the PSPs and gives one to Megan. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[Chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise.

Also, at one point, a fire effect is shown at the bottom of the screen. [[2014 house fire|For those fond of "signs" and "ideas of reference," make of that what you will]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| ytid = cEmM4JKZK8I
| stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Megan|text}} {{Stackhouse|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul Calibur#Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC is Angry]]
}}

{{collapsible|Transcript|
<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and go with him now.
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get [[Rocky Shoemaker|rocky]],
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a [[Muscle bra|tit]]-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem>}}

==Campaign==
[[File:Stink Lines by Archwig.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation]]
{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper [''sic''] the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more)}}

Chris's video made it into the top 10, giving him just a small amount of luck as the contest was rather obscure (at the time) and a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]]. Chris asked for votes from many people:

* At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving it over. Obviously, no one voted.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref>
* Chris badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Cole ended up never voting because either Chris did not care about Cole's plight, or he simply was just that lazy.
* Chris also asked Susan Hannifan,<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#July]]</ref> a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] guidance counselor to whom Chris showed a disrespectful attitude in the past.<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004]]</ref>
* Chris wrote ads on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], [[CWC's Pokésite 2]], [[MySpace]], [[PSN blogs|PSN]], his [[Hot Wheels]] site, and his Bionicle site.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes]]</ref>

Chris also took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts. On the day before voting ended, he posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].{{clear}}

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, unsurprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Being the narcissist manchild he is, Chris has bore a grudge against him for a long time, as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video is technically {{w|a cappella}}. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Perhaps Chris, who comes from a more conservative artistic background, assumed any use of audio effects or a multitrack recorder was out, even if all the sounds were generated by the voice.

As for "multiple people", Adam's sister was present in his video, but she never sang on it.

Chris, of course, violated the rules to a far worse extent than Adam - inserting his own lyrics, to say nothing of rampant vote-stuffing. How Chris even made the top 10 is a mystery; the judges likely observed the obvious fact that something is [[Slow-in-the-Minds|wrong]] with Chris and took pity on him.

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (It is unknown why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}

==Aftermath==

Infuriated over his loss, Chris sent an angry email to Sony executives on 3 [[August 2007]], blasting them for refusing to award him the Seattle trip.

The email is a whiny and rambling tirade where Chris begs for first prize, because winning the video game contest represented his only opportunity at losing his [[virgin with rage]] status to [[Megan Schroeder]] and giving birth to his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Furthermore, Chris accuses the company of discriminating against autistic individuals, solely for failing to reward them with [[Chris and his ego|special treatment]]:<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007#August]]</ref>

{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

[[Chris and reality|I had my fantasies]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|having fun with Megan]], taking her to a really extravagent [''sic''] destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC is Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against Adam and the other winners, using his time-honored "Kick the Autistic" crutch. When people told him to relax, he told them to shut up: this resulted in a temporary ban from PSN moderators.

The same day, Chris sent another angry e-mail to Sony executives, this time enclosing a systematic dissection of why everyone else's video was in violation of contest rules. Chris evidently [[Chris and hypocrisy|overlooked]] his own questionable ethics of mercilessly vote-stuffing with sockpuppet accounts and begging everyone on his e-mail contact list to vote for him. Sony later replied with a canned response, indicating that his letter was not even read at all and that Chris would need to resort to more drastic measures.

Two days later, Chris would continue his rampage against Adam Stackhouse by creating a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. That page substituted his own name for Stackhouse's and also included the following disclaimer:

{{quote|<nowiki>*</nowiki>The EX-Winner, Adam Stackhouse, was DISQUALIFIED on the grounds of violating the Official Rules on TWO COUNTS: 
-He Had Licensed BeatBox Music playing from a licensed BoomBox. 
-He Had his SISTER ILLEGALLY in the video without authorized consent. 
 
We of the Playstation Underground apologize for the confusion and inconvience of not having dealt with this INJUSTICE sooner. Please disregard any web pages that may state the contrary; they shall be taken down by our webmaster momentary}}

He then went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
<nowiki>http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms</nowiki>.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the [[List of Chris's Lies|Honest]], Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

Chris later escalated his campaign by producing a video titled [[CWC is Angry]]. In the video, Chris prints out a picture of Stackhouse and his sister and uses it as a pellet gun target for two continuous minutes. Although the video was originally intended to be a vindictive show of intimidation, the mood was spoiled by an episode of ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' blaring loudly in the background, not to mention Chris' weapon of choice was a [[Megatron pistol|toy]] [[Transformer]].

During Chris's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost because she had no interest in going on a trip alone with him, given his hands-on approach to their relationship. Whether or not she would have accompanied him, she was upset by his in-person interactions with her.

{{quote|First I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the contest because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me. I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be.|Megan, [[Heart level|shattering Chris' heart]]}}

The way Chris treated Adam and his sister after they won probably did not help matters either. Chris finally went on to claim that he had contracted a "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body from slapping together his half-assed contest entry. From that point onwards, Megan's [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007|e-mail correspondence with Chris]] became much less frequent and a little cooler in tone, indicating that while [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] may have been the final nail in the coffin for their friendship, the fall-out from this contest was the first nail in that coffin.

Two versions of the video exist. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. This version is most likely the original version ''before'' Megan broke off contact with Chris, as is evidenced by [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan is annoyed and creeped out|an angry email she sent him after returning from her Kentucky trip]].<ref>"Also I can't say I like how '''you used my photo in your video'''... (emphasis added)</ref>

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to ease his pain from losing the contest--Parappathe''[[Rape|raping]]''<nowiki></nowiki>dog. [[Chris and English|Good job]].<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| ytid = TLN-6lKDdhI
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| stardate = 9 [[January 2010]]
| type = Remix of "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion Rap
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YfW82twiD5E}}
| maker = SiIvaGunner
| stardate = 25 [[May 2016]]
| type = High quality video game rip
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = MUSIC VIDEO - CWC PaRappa the Rapper Onion A-La Mode RE-ENACTMENT
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bw17ZHAMN98}}
| maker = CopperCab
| stardate = 19 [[October 2017]]
| type = Re-enactment of Chris's rap
}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[https://gofile.io/d/AAEjJy Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{StackhouseSaga}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Stackhouse Saga]]
[[Category:Videos published to Sonichu]]

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2026-09-19T22:56:22Z

WarnerBro:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dreams|Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN blogs]]}}

[[File:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest.]]

In [[2007|June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[United States of America|America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] port of the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two PSPs and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 PAX (Penny Arcade Expo) festival.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be overstated; failure to win the contest was not an option.

==The Original Version==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|nJ3o3kQZWm8}}</center>

==Chris's Version: "Master Onion A-La Mode"==
To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the "Chop Chop Master Onion Rap". Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well (or at least didn't pay much attention to the lyrics). He read the lyrics while "performing," not having bothered to rehearse/learn the lines. (But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared?)

Oddly, he peppered the video with various video effects that seem to come from the [[PSEye]] program EyeCreate, including a hilarious caption of "Birthday Boy" popping up during when Chris first does the "[[duck]] and turn" part of the song. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice' (or to prove he was "good with [[Chris and electronics|electronics]]"), but in the end, it was so amateurish and incoherent as to be laughable. It's worth noting that [[Chris's birthday|his birthday]] was almost 8 months away, unless he meant to say that it's "coming early" when he wins the PSPs and gives one to Megan. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[Chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise.

Also, at one point, a fire effect is shown at the bottom of the screen. [[2014 house fire|For those fond of "signs" and "ideas of reference," make of that what you will]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| ytid = cEmM4JKZK8I
| stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Megan|text}} {{Stackhouse|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul Calibur#Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC is Angry]]
}}

{{collapsible|Transcript|
<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and go with him now.
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get [[Rocky Shoemaker|rocky]],
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a [[Muscle bra|tit]]-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem>}}

==Campaign==
[[File:Stink Lines by Archwig.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation]]
{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper [''sic''] the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more)}}

Chris's video made it into the top 10, giving him just a small amount of luck as the contest was rather obscure (at the time) and a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]]. Chris asked for votes from many people:

* At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving it over. Obviously, no one voted.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref>
* Chris badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Cole ended up never voting because either Chris did not care about Cole's plight, or he simply was just that lazy.
* Chris also asked Susan Hannifan,<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#July]]</ref> a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] guidance counselor to whom Chris showed a disrespectful attitude in the past.<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004]]</ref>
* Chris wrote ads on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], [[CWC's Pokésite 2]], [[MySpace]], [[PSN blogs|PSN]], his [[Hot Wheels]] site, and his Bionicle site.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes]]</ref>

Chris also took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts. On the day before voting ended, he posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].{{clear}}

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, unsurprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Being the narcissist manchild he is, Chris has bore a grudge against him for a long time, as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video is technically {{w|a cappella}}. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Perhaps Chris, who comes from a more conservative artistic background, assumed any use of audio effects or a multitrack recorder was out, even if all the sounds were generated by the voice.

As for "multiple people", Adam's sister was present in his video, but she never sang on it.

Chris, of course, violated the rules to a far worse extent than Adam - inserting his own lyrics, to say nothing of rampant vote-stuffing. How Chris even made the top 10 is a mystery; the judges likely observed the obvious fact that something is [[Slow-in-the-Minds|wrong]] with Chris and took pity on him.

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (It is unknown why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}

==Aftermath==

Infuriated over his loss, Chris sent an angry email to Sony executives on 3 [[August 2007]], blasting them for refusing to award him the Seattle trip.

The email is a whiny and rambling tirade where Chris begs for first prize, because winning the video game contest represented his only opportunity at losing his [[virgin with rage]] status to [[Megan Schroeder]] and giving birth to his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Furthermore, Chris accuses the company of discriminating against autistic individuals, solely for failing to reward them with [[Chris and his Ego|special treatment]]:<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007#August]]</ref>

{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

[[Chris and reality|I had my fantasies]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|having fun with Megan]], taking her to a really extravagent [''sic''] destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC is Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against Adam and the other winners, using his time-honored "Kick the Autistic" crutch. When people told him to relax, he told them to shut up: this resulted in a temporary ban from PSN moderators.

The same day, Chris sent another angry e-mail to Sony executives, this time enclosing a systematic dissection of why everyone else's video was in violation of contest rules. Chris evidently [[Chris and hypocrisy|overlooked]] his own questionable ethics of mercilessly vote-stuffing with sockpuppet accounts and begging everyone on his e-mail contact list to vote for him. Sony later replied with a canned response, indicating that his letter was not even read at all and that Chris would need to resort to more drastic measures.

Two days later, Chris would continue his rampage against Adam Stackhouse by creating a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. That page substituted his own name for Stackhouse's and also included the following disclaimer:

{{quote|<nowiki>*</nowiki>The EX-Winner, Adam Stackhouse, was DISQUALIFIED on the grounds of violating the Official Rules on TWO COUNTS: 
-He Had Licensed BeatBox Music playing from a licensed BoomBox. 
-He Had his SISTER ILLEGALLY in the video without authorized consent. 
 
We of the Playstation Underground apologize for the confusion and inconvience of not having dealt with this INJUSTICE sooner. Please disregard any web pages that may state the contrary; they shall be taken down by our webmaster momentary}}

He then went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
<nowiki>http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms</nowiki>.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the [[List of Chris's Lies|Honest]], Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

Chris later escalated his campaign by producing a video titled [[CWC is Angry]]. In the video, Chris prints out a picture of Stackhouse and his sister and uses it as a pellet gun target for two continuous minutes. Although the video was originally intended to be a vindictive show of intimidation, the mood was spoiled by an episode of ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' blaring loudly in the background, not to mention Chris' weapon of choice was a [[Megatron pistol|toy]] [[Transformer]].

During Chris's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost because she had no interest in going on a trip alone with him, given his hands-on approach to their relationship. Whether or not she would have accompanied him, she was upset by his in-person interactions with her.

{{quote|First I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the contest because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me. I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be.|Megan, [[Heart level|shattering Chris' heart]]}}

The way Chris treated Adam and his sister after they won probably did not help matters either. Chris finally went on to claim that he had contracted a "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body from slapping together his half-assed contest entry. From that point onwards, Megan's [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007|e-mail correspondence with Chris]] became much less frequent and a little cooler in tone, indicating that while [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] may have been the final nail in the coffin for their friendship, the fall-out from this contest was the first nail in that coffin.

Two versions of the video exist. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. This version is most likely the original version ''before'' Megan broke off contact with Chris, as is evidenced by [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan is annoyed and creeped out|an angry email she sent him after returning from her Kentucky trip]].<ref>"Also I can't say I like how '''you used my photo in your video'''... (emphasis added)</ref>

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to ease his pain from losing the contest--Parappathe''[[Rape|raping]]''<nowiki></nowiki>dog. [[Chris and English|Good job]].<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| ytid = TLN-6lKDdhI
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| stardate = 9 [[January 2010]]
| type = Remix of "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion Rap
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YfW82twiD5E}}
| maker = SiIvaGunner
| stardate = 25 [[May 2016]]
| type = High quality video game rip
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = MUSIC VIDEO - CWC PaRappa the Rapper Onion A-La Mode RE-ENACTMENT
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bw17ZHAMN98}}
| maker = CopperCab
| stardate = 19 [[October 2017]]
| type = Re-enactment of Chris's rap
}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[https://gofile.io/d/AAEjJy Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{StackhouseSaga}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Stackhouse Saga]]
[[Category:Videos published to Sonichu]]

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

2026-09-19T22:53:48Z

WarnerBro:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to [[death threats|DIE and BURN]]!

As for [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]], if he is reading this and is asking, "You've got something to say to me?" I do, P.S. F*** You, you [[Dreams|Dream]] Smashing Son of a B****!|[[PSN blogs]]}}

[[File:PaRappaContestInfo.jpg|thumb|Original promo info about the contest.]]

In [[2007|June 2007]], [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment [[United States of America|America]] (SCEA) announced the '''Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown''' contest to promote the [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] port of the video game ''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''. Contestants were to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two PSPs and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 PAX (Penny Arcade Expo) festival.

The contest was of monumental importance, as it would achieve goals for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to [[China|give in]] to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be overstated; failure to win the contest was not an option.

==The Original Version==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|nJ3o3kQZWm8}}</center>

==Chris's Version: "Master Onion A-La Mode"==
To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the "Chop Chop Master Onion Rap". Despite claiming this was the only song he knew from the game, Chris clearly didn't know it all that well (or at least didn't pay much attention to the lyrics). He read the lyrics while "performing," not having bothered to rehearse/learn the lines. (But then again, have any of his videos looked even remotely prepared?)

Oddly, he peppered the video with various video effects that seem to come from the [[PSEye]] program EyeCreate, including a hilarious caption of "[[Chris's birthday|Birthday Boy]]" popping up during when Chris first does the "[[duck]] and turn" part of the song. It could be assumed that Chris did so to make his video look 'nice' (or to prove he was "good with [[Chris and electronics|electronics]]"), but in the end, it was so amateurish and incoherent as to be laughable. It's worth noting that his birthday was almost 8 months away, unless he meant that it's "coming early" when he wins the PSPs and gives one to Megan. Towards the end of the video, Chris can be seen [[Chris and health|struggling to breathe]] from close to three minutes of extremely mild exercise.

Also, at one point, a fire effect is shown at the bottom of the screen. [[2014 house fire|For those fond of "signs" and "ideas of reference," make of that what you will]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown
| ytid = cEmM4JKZK8I
| stardate = 29 [[June 2007]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Megan|text}} {{Stackhouse|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Soul Calibur#Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh|SOUL CALIBUR: Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh]]
| next = [[CWC is Angry]]
}}

{{collapsible|Transcript|
<poem>Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville, Virginia]]!
I have a PSP, I like to rap,
I play PaRappa, and go with him now.
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't,
So give me the PSP; unwrap the wrapper,
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now.
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

[[CWC Fighter|Kick! Punch!]] It's all in the m-mind.
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now. Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get [[Rocky Shoemaker|rocky]],
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck ([[Duck]])
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully. Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done, I'll make things worse.
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now. Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today.
Good job, PaRappa!
You can go to the next stage now.
Yahoo! Alright!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you!
Congratulations!
Alright. Thank ya, teacha!
Again: what?

Man, you’re so good!
I got a [[Muscle bra|tit]]-loose memory, money
With students like you…
Wanna try a super-beginner’s course?

You’re pick—you’re pickin’ on me too fast!
I'm outta here!

[[Guitar Hero]] on [[PlayStation 3]]
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
Dude, rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap, rap, rap! That's a wrap!</poem>}}

==Campaign==
[[File:Stink Lines by Archwig.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation]]
{{quote|This previously submitted PaRapper [''sic''] the Rapper "Master Onion A-La Mode" Video is among the TOP TEN to win the GRAND PRIZE. And I would TRULY APPRECIATE your generous Vote, so please click the highlighted link to the Playstation Website's Voting page. **I am Video NUMBER 7 (scroll down; the one with the Blue Guitar)** You have the power to make my AUTISTIC life SO MUCH BETTER. Thank You. :) (more)}}

Chris's video made it into the top 10, giving him just a small amount of luck as the contest was rather obscure (at the time) and a little more than 10 people entered. The winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in [[July 2007]]. Chris asked for votes from many people:

* At [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris handed out fliers telling people to vote for him. To ensure success, he read everything off the flier to each person before giving it over. Obviously, no one voted.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris's history and personality]]</ref>
* Chris badgered his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] to vote. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out from their [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] about the real identity of Cole's biological father.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 July 2007 email]]</ref> Cole ended up never voting because either Chris did not care about Cole's plight, or he simply was just that lazy.
* Chris also asked Susan Hannifan,<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#July]]</ref> a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] guidance counselor to whom Chris showed a disrespectful attitude in the past.<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#February 2004]]</ref>
* Chris wrote ads on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], [[CWC's Pokésite 2]], [[MySpace]], [[PSN blogs|PSN]], his [[Hot Wheels]] site, and his Bionicle site.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes]]</ref>

Chris also took matters into his own hands by stuffing the ballot with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts. On the day before voting ended, he posted his own reviews of the top 10 videos in his [[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog]].{{clear}}

{{quote|Such honesty of his situation and devotion for his lucky girlfriend adds great emotions to his performance. The visually appealing effects added the best humor and biggest laugh I had among the bunch. I enjoyed the fun background of his assumed-to-be bedroom. And his informative feedback on playing [[Guitar Hero]] on Playstation 3 was truly a wise and great addition. Also, he has nailed the lyrics A-Capella. :) As this brave [[autistic|AUTISTIC]] warrior so creatively put it at the end, "Rap, Rap, Rap, That's a Wrap!" Truly the cherry on the top of the sundae. A perfect score of 5/5 Stars for his marvelous effort, and smiling at knowing he looked a bit stupid. :)|Chris, describing his video in third person}}

==Results==

{{quote|Changing the lyrics will result in disqualification.|Official contest rules}}

[[Image:Cchanmegan.jpg|thumb|Chris thought that he could easily win the contest and the heart of his Sweetest [[Megan]]. Chris was, unsurprisingly, wrong.]]

The competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Being the narcissist manchild he is, Chris has bore a grudge against him for a long time, as he felt Adam broke "da rules"<ref>[[PSN blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video is technically {{w|a cappella}}. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Perhaps Chris, who comes from a more conservative artistic background, assumed any use of audio effects or a multitrack recorder was out, even if all the sounds were generated by the voice.

As for "multiple people", Adam's sister was present in his video, but she never sang on it.

Chris, of course, violated the rules to a far worse extent than Adam - inserting his own lyrics, to say nothing of rampant vote-stuffing. How Chris even made the top 10 is a mystery; the judges likely observed the obvious fact that something is [[Slow-in-the-Minds|wrong]] with Chris and took pity on him.

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)." Or, as Chris explains in [[PS3 History level]], "copy of the PSP version of the PSOne classic, a charm, HIS hat, and 5 PSP-1000 Skins." (It is unknown why "HIS" is all capitalized. PaRappa is neither divine in nature, nor exactly a paragon of masculinity.)
{{-}}

==Aftermath==

Infuriated over his loss, Chris sent an angry email to Sony executives on 3 [[August 2007]], blasting them for refusing to award him the Seattle trip.

The email is a whiny and rambling tirade where Chris begs for first prize, because winning the video game contest represented his only opportunity at losing his [[virgin with rage]] status to [[Megan Schroeder]] and giving birth to his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Furthermore, Chris accuses the company of discriminating against autistic individuals, solely for failing to reward them with [[Chris and his Ego|special treatment]]:<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2007#August]]</ref>

{{quote|I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|CRYSTAL]]. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

[[Chris and reality|I had my fantasies]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|having fun with Megan]], taking her to a really extravagent [''sic''] destination (I am not rich), taking a long-wanted tour of the [[Nintendo]] of America company tour, with her, playing [[Guitar Hero]] against the guy in the PaRappa costume, jamming with Megan in the hotel room and possibly our [[Chris and sex|first time in the bed]]... *sigh*

[[CWC is Sad|Life can be soooooooooo unfair and f***ing corrupt.]]

But I digress; TAKE THE A-CAPELLA RULE TO THE MAX on those THREE out of ten videos.

Take care; Christian Weston Chandler. (:_( |}}

On 4 August, Chris raged multiple times on his [[PSN blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]] against Adam and the other winners, using his time-honored "Kick the Autistic" crutch. When people told him to relax, he told them to shut up: this resulted in a temporary ban from PSN moderators.

The same day, Chris sent another angry e-mail to Sony executives, this time enclosing a systematic dissection of why everyone else's video was in violation of contest rules. Chris evidently [[Chris and hypocrisy|overlooked]] his own questionable ethics of mercilessly vote-stuffing with sockpuppet accounts and begging everyone on his e-mail contact list to vote for him. Sony later replied with a canned response, indicating that his letter was not even read at all and that Chris would need to resort to more drastic measures.

Two days later, Chris would continue his rampage against Adam Stackhouse by creating a fake [http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html webpage] designed to show himself as the true winner of the contest. That page substituted his own name for Stackhouse's and also included the following disclaimer:

{{quote|<nowiki>*</nowiki>The EX-Winner, Adam Stackhouse, was DISQUALIFIED on the grounds of violating the Official Rules on TWO COUNTS: 
-He Had Licensed BeatBox Music playing from a licensed BoomBox. 
-He Had his SISTER ILLEGALLY in the video without authorized consent. 
 
We of the Playstation Underground apologize for the confusion and inconvience of not having dealt with this INJUSTICE sooner. Please disregard any web pages that may state the contrary; they shall be taken down by our webmaster momentary}}

He then went around various PSN News posts and left comments with the following:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/warhawk-goes-gold/comment-page-9/</ref><ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2007/08/comment-monitoring/comment-page-4/</ref>

{{quote|I wanted to mention a small concern… there is a link to the True Real Winner of the Chop Chop Master Onion Contest at
<nowiki>http://groups.myspace.com/CWCandFriendsCustoms</nowiki>.
Yet, when I click the link on us.playstation.com, I get a different “Winner”.
I Do Not Know Who To Believe! Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the [[List of Chris's Lies|Honest]], Autistic CWCSonichu?}}

Chris later escalated his campaign by producing a video titled [[CWC is Angry]]. In the video, Chris prints out a picture of Stackhouse and his sister and uses it as a pellet gun target for two continuous minutes. Although the video was originally intended to be a vindictive show of intimidation, the mood was spoiled by an episode of ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' blaring loudly in the background, not to mention Chris' weapon of choice was a [[Megatron pistol|toy]] [[Transformer]].

During Chris's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost because she had no interest in going on a trip alone with him, given his hands-on approach to their relationship. Whether or not she would have accompanied him, she was upset by his in-person interactions with her.

{{quote|First I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the contest because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me. I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be.|Megan, [[Heart level|shattering Chris' heart]]}}

The way Chris treated Adam and his sister after they won probably did not help matters either. Chris finally went on to claim that he had contracted a "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gut virus]]" due to the strain on his body from slapping together his half-assed contest entry. From that point onwards, Megan's [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007|e-mail correspondence with Chris]] became much less frequent and a little cooler in tone, indicating that while [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] may have been the final nail in the coffin for their friendship, the fall-out from this contest was the first nail in that coffin.

Two versions of the video exist. The one that Chris uploaded later to his YouTube channel has an additional photograph of Megan between the first and second verses. This version is most likely the original version ''before'' Megan broke off contact with Chris, as is evidenced by [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan is annoyed and creeped out|an angry email she sent him after returning from her Kentucky trip]].<ref>"Also I can't say I like how '''you used my photo in your video'''... (emphasis added)</ref>

On 31 [[October 2007|October]], Chris made a fake Parappa profile on MySpace to ease his pain from losing the contest--Parappathe''[[Rape|raping]]''<nowiki></nowiki>dog. [[Chris and English|Good job]].<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080705130230/http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc</ref>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok
| ytid = TLN-6lKDdhI
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| stardate = 9 [[January 2010]]
| type = Remix of "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chop Chop Master Onion Rap
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YfW82twiD5E}}
| maker = SiIvaGunner
| stardate = 25 [[May 2016]]
| type = High quality video game rip
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = MUSIC VIDEO - CWC PaRappa the Rapper Onion A-La Mode RE-ENACTMENT
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bw17ZHAMN98}}
| maker = CopperCab
| stardate = 19 [[October 2017]]
| type = Re-enactment of Chris's rap
}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Adam Stackhouse]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[CWC is Angry]]
*''[[PaRappa the Rapper]]''
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]

==Download==
*[https://gofile.io/d/AAEjJy Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Soul Calibur|Chris-chan vs. Mary Lee Walsh]]|nextlink=[[CWC is Angry]]|}}
{{StackhouseSaga}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Kodak camera videos| 2007-06-29]]
[[Category:Stackhouse Saga]]
[[Category:Videos published to Sonichu]]

Autism

2026-09-18T14:08:22Z

WarnerBro:

:''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|center]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|200px|He plays this card a lot, such as during the [[Jail Saga]].]]
[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[File:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Image of Chris (and his husband Magi-Chan) around neurotypical (non-autistic) "sheeple."]]
[[Image:Chrisautismmeme.jpg|thumb|Chris explains Autism]]

'''Autism''', also known as '''autism spectrum disorder''' ('''ASD''') is a neurodevelopmental disorder and the lens through which [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] experiences the world. It is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[Chris and stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Examples of Chris's Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]], and [[Chris and reality|poor grasp on reality]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris was diagnosed with the disorder in his early childhood (at a time when far less was understood about the disorder), and it became a cornerstone of his identity and influence on how he would act, alongside potentially other undiagnosed psychological or neurodevelopmental disorders. It should be noted that Chris's autism is not reflective of the experiences that most people with the disorder have, but since Chris has consistently pointed to autism whenever he does something wrong, and we have no way of knowing what other disorders Chris may have without access to his medical documents, this article serves as good a place as any to discuss the nature of Chris's neuroses, whether they are tied to autism or not.

==Overview==
{{Protip|There is considerable debate on how to refer to the autism community, with some preferring diagnosis-based language (i.e. "Chris has autism"), adjectives (i.e., "Chris is autistic"), or nouns (i.e., "Chris is an autistic"). Since Chris has never appeared to have a preference, the CWCki uses these terms interchangeably.}}

{{w|Autism}} is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulty in communication and social interactions: issues that usually surface in childhood and carry on throughout life if not treated early on. The disorder represents a spectrum of different symptoms, behaviors, intellects, and support needs. Autism can also lead to restrictive and repetitive behaviors, intense passions known as special interests, and unusual fixations or approaches to stimulation. No two people with autism are exactly the same, and many common autism traits can even contradict each other (i.e. no eye contact vs. [[creepy stare|intense eye contact]]).

[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

Autism is traditionally associated with either [[Slow-in-the-minds|intellectual disability]] or [[Honor roll|above-average intelligence]] (or both in the case of savants), but most autistic people carry average intelligence. The autism spectrum historically covered several related diagnoses, including [[Asperger's syndrome]], [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|which Chris resents]]. The DSM-5 replaced these diagnoses with a single diagnosis of ''autism spectrum disorder'', divided into three levels based on support needs.

Due to his status as an internet celebrity and lolcow, it goes without saying that Chris has a very unusual case of autism. Since he is arguably the most documented autistic person in modern history, he affects public perceptions of the disorder on the internet. That being said, it is highly likely that Chris has ''many'' other issues beyond just having autism, since Chris has demonstrated problems that can't simply be explained away by the disorder. (For instance, it shouldn't have taken him seven years to learn how to speak, even with severe symptoms. Meanwhile, his severe delusions that spiraled later in life demonstrate signs of a schizoaffective disorder.) Without a proper medical diagnosis, in part thanks to Chris's history of avoiding cooperation with people trying to help him understand himself on that level, autism remains the typical scapegoat to explain Chris's behavior, even if the truth may be more complicated.

Chris has built much of his identity around his high-functioning autism. His terror of being associated with severely autistic people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. The angst he has over his unsatisfactory graduation is made manifest in [[Sonichu (comic)|his webcomic]] as [[Count Graduon|one of the work's key villains]].

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is completely different from that of literally every other person in the world who has autism (which, while not ''totally'' wrong, is a gross oversimplification of the disorder's spectral nature). Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong mere minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father Call#Financial Situation and Crystal the Tard Baby (11:01-18:28)]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if [[Twin Falling Towers|he]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|makes]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of college|poor]] [[Affair with Mother|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 20]]</ref>

==Chris's symptoms==
{{protip|Do not use Chris to bash all autistic people, and do not complain about how he gives autism a bad name. He is one person on the autism ''spectrum''. This article mostly deals with Chris's autism.}}

[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

A 2004 [[Autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] confirms that Chris has ''autistic disorder''. Though his original childhood diagnosis papers are [[2014 house fire|presumably lost forever]], Chris was diagnosed by actual specialists, not armchair psychologists.

Nevertheless, many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with that of various other autistics. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general, these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what most autistics are like. They are well-aware that the condition is a spectrum.

Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to a certain extent in the context of intellectual learning. Others can learn social skills the old-fashioned way, usually through joining a group and coming out of their shell. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. They may also adopt the alternative approach of "Haters Gonna Hate," surrounding themselves with like-minded people and not giving a fuck about the bullies.

Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies but also accept them at face value. Sometimes, he even wishes to force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layman might come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic, guy with a few "eccentricities" and personality flaws, or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris is completely [[slow-in-the-minds|mentally retarded]] or full-blown schizophrenic. Some folks argue that Chris's autism is so mild that it's barely relevant, while others attribute his entire personality to it.

But the truth appears to be somewhere in the middle: Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of genuine autism, [[Borb|bad parenting]], isolation, and other [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental impairments]].

His symptoms are listed below, coded to match [https://archive.ph/YxSOM the official DSM-5 diagnosis:]

===A: Deficits in communication and social interaction===
====1: Social-emotional reciprocity====
Chris struggles with social-emotional reciprocity, the two-way understanding required for successful social interaction.

[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Trolls manipulated Chris into [[Ohio Trip|driving all the way to Ohio]] to save [[Julie|a fake girlfriend]] – the only things Chris gained from the trip were these fast food receipts. Difficulties in discerning the motives and intentions of others is regularly observed among people diagnosed with autism.]]

=====Understanding others' intentions=====
Chris has difficulty gauging others' thoughts, feelings, ideas, and intentions. He doesn't always understand that these might be different than his own, or how to predict these behaviors. In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video]] he made of himself destroying his own [[PlayStation 3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own, as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

Chris is extremely gullible. While autistics can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone those that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls (of both sexes) pretending to be female sweethearts, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo executives]] approaching him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

=====Empathy and sympathy=====
Chris shows very little [[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|empathy]] and [[Chris and kindness|concern for others]]. In his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde, his advice after the suicide of Clyde's brother [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding" — he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

When Chris does attempt empathy, it's only when he already sees himself in the person, no matter how big the stretch is. This habit shows up in Chris's [[Chris and politics|justifications for his votes]]. He voted for [[Barack Obama]] because he was a victim of discrimination, equating Obama's struggle with racism to his own struggle with autistic persecution. He mainly voted for [[Hillary Clinton]] because she was a woman, which Chris has identified as since 2014. He never looked at either candidate's platforms or voted based on actual issues, just based on who he could "see" himself in.

=====Social awareness and boundaries=====
[[Image:Chris holding sign.jpg|thumb|right|The [[attraction sign]] in action. Struggling with social norms and approaching people is a sign of autism.]]

Chris struggles with social approach. He believed that holding up a literal [[sign]] with his requirements for an eligible sweetheart was a socially acceptable way to meet people. He would [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|pace around]] public places aimlessly, and he has difficulty initiating conversations. He sometimes starts off the convo with botched attempts at pickup lines, and [[random-access humor]]. Nowadays, much of his social approach takes the form of meet-and-greet photo ops at [[conventions]] or elsewhere, though he still screws it up.

Chris doesn't understand the concept of boundaries, whether physical or verbal. He kissed people he met seconds ago at [[TooManyGames]]. He was quite handsy with [[Megan]], [[Kacey]], and [[Emily]], and he buried his face in [[Catherine]]'s breasts. He regularly refers to his [[Mary Lee Walsh|superiors]] by their first name, sometimes even by [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|pet names]] they don't even use. He doesn't seem to understand that different relationships call for different sets of social norms.

Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social dysfunction. Without provocation, he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]], his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], his autism itself, and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he was a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref> He mostly takes interest in himself while talking, only occasionally taking interest in his conversational partner.

All of the above could be explained by Chris's lack of social awareness. One notable instance of this, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Chris and race#Black_people|black]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

====2: Nonverbal communication====
[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[File:0419-ChristianIs17-14.jpg|thumb|right|Demonstrating poor eye contact.]]

Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]" (though [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] displays a similar stare). When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish, possibly because he copied it from [[My Little Pony|actual cartoons]]. Also, notice his inconsistent eye contact in his [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] news interview. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural. His incompetence with emotional display extends to his [[art]] and comics as well. He has a hard time displaying emotion on his characters' faces, and has even added emoticons :) to the speech bubbles to make up for his lack of ability to communicate through his art and writing alone.

Chris also has very poor [[Facial blindness|facial and vocal recognition skills]]. [[Julie]] was a 13-year-old boy using an obvious falsetto, and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice, and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In a [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them, even though the two don't even have the same skin color. He didn't realize that [[Emily]] and [[Kim Wilson|Kim]] were the same person, even though their voices and laughs were obviously identical. Chris is inconsistent with his self-portraits and drawings of other people, relying more on color schemes and cosmetics (hair, clothing choices, etc.) than on facial features to distinguish them apart. In his attempt at a [[Barack Obama#White House gag|political cartoon]], he relies on labels and arrows to distinguish the characters instead of exaggerating their facial features like mainstream political cartoonists. He also depicts Obama in a traditional African cap that he seldom wears.

[[Image:0485-CWC18th16.jpg|thumb|left|Chris has had very little social interaction since high school. This is one of the few pictures of him with his [[gal pals]], and it only shows him from behind.]]

====3: Interpersonal relationships====
Chris's social dysfunction has caused him trouble with developing and maintaining relationships – platonic or romantic. Many non-autistics have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing.

Chris's earliest friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], was more of a bully than a friend; she locked him in the crawlspace of her house and tried convincing him to eat the berries of a honeysuckle, which can induce [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|diarrhea]]. His high school [[Gal-Pals]] were "hired help": Bob and the principal arranged a deal where they were paid to hang out with Chris. He rarely hung out with them outside school hours, except on his [[My big 18th party|18th birthday]] and at [[prom]].

Chris has had very few friends as an adult. He loses friends regularly, manages to get [[banned]] from his favorite hangouts, and has no contact with any of his beloved high school Gal-Pals. He did have a circle of [[Pokémon League friends|adult friends who played Pokémon with him]], but he lost contact with them once he switched his focus to [[imaginary friends]] and online [[enablers]] after the [[Idea Guys]] managed to destroy what little remaining grip on [[reality]] Chris had.

Despite this, Chris's social life was robust compared to his love life. Chris is in his forties, and he hasn't had a serious romantic relationship or any consensual contact with the opposite sex (aside from a [[Mia Hamm|prostitute]] and [[Affair with Mother|his own mother]], though whether the latter was completely consensual remains questionable), or the [[bisexual|same sex]] for that matter. His foray into [[Dating profiles|online dating]] was a failure, and every one of his [[sweethearts]] was either [[Megan|just a friend]] or a troll. He viewed his desperate search as a [[Love Quest]] – a saga that began on his 21st birthday, and only ended when he got into a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his OCs.

Chris is also estranged from his family outside of his parents. Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] has blocked him on social media. He has little contact with his other half-brother [[David Alan Chandler|David]], and knows even less of his half-sister [[Carol Chandler|Carol]].

As with many autistics, Chris does manage to have good relationships with animals, whether [[Patti|real]] or [[Sonichu (species)|fake]]. Animals are more direct and don't have as complex of social rituals as humans. Animals also serve as a "social lubricant" for people on the spectrum. Anyone who knows anything about Temple Grandin can back this up.

===B: Chris's restricted and repetitive behaviors===
To receive an autism diagnosis, the DSM-5 requires restricted and repetitive behaviors [https://archive.ph/YxSOM in at least two of the following four categories.] Chris meets all of them; examples are given below:

====1: Movements and speech====
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|Chris refers to the [[Xbox]] as the "HEXbox," showing both his [[brand loyalty]] and vocabulary of made-up words.|250px]]

Chris often exhibits echolalia, which means he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]]. He tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. He uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

Autism is also linked to [[speech impediment]]s. Chris has trouble with articulation, and often slurs words together like "[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Essaikapeeia Dramakka Payzh]]" and "[[Christian Weston Chandler|Krishnwessonchanler]]." He frequently stutters, clutters his words, and speaks in a higher-pitched register.

Chris's unusual [[mannerisms]] are another sign. He rocks back and forth (dubbed "The Autistic Shuffle"), especially when [[Chris and stress|stressed]]. He uses the same gestures repeatedly, such as his [[stress sigh]], [[The Claw of Fail]], and the infamous [[Dramatic Glasses Removal]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of {{w|hypotonia}}, which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, but he also shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly, even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]] — as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly.

[[Image:Please,_Donate_(720p).mp400001.png|thumb|left|250px|Chris has spent the majority of his adult life in his bedroom.]]

====2: Insistence on sameness====
One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear of and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life]], never came close to moving out [[Affair with Mother|until he was absolutely forced to]], has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, has never stuck to a [[Chris and health|diet and exercise program]], [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women]], and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from his favorite [[the GAMe PLACe|hangout spots]]. His proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self-improvement show that he has a very hard time moving on from his childhood lifestyle (where he had no obligations other than school), or simply fears failure of all types.

Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his '[[heart level]]' and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie]], Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

Some autistic people follow rules so strictly that it's bordering OCD. Chris however, has the opposite problem. He lived in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house for many years,]] makes comics with a very inconsistent plot, wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Autistics generally have "special interests." These interests can range from familiar subjects popular with most people, to specialized interests and areas of higher study, from elevators to astrophysics, or in Chris's case, Sonic the Hedgehog.]]

====3: Fixations and special interests====
Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, cartoons, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much so that he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his game consoles, and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistics have difficulty maintaining relationships with people, they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in autistic children.

Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays and middle names that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

Chris's fixations also manifest as [[brand loyalty]]. Chris has been loyal to Nintendo, Sega and Sony, to the exclusion of [[HEXbox|Microsoft]]. He's loyal to [[McDonald's]] and dislikes [[Burger King]]. He felt that [[Harry Potter]] was a threat to [[Pokemon]]. His brand loyalty went beyond simple preferences and extended to actual obsessions and hatreds. He'd hype up [[Axe]] and [[Walmart]] in videos. He'd blindly trust advertisements and even include ads of his own in his comics.

According to controversial psychologist Ken Zucker, trans folks are more likely to be autistic than the general population. In his view, the link is caused by autistics' tendency to fixate on issues (in this case, gender). Many autistic males (including Chris) also have qualities that can be considered effeminate, such as passiveness. Since they have less social awareness, they may behave in ways that can be considered atypical for either sex and display less regard for gender roles. Chris and many other autistics perceive their quirks as being "female in a male body" or vice versa, and assume that they will fit in better as their desired sex.

However, it may also be that autistic people are less likely to give into gender expectations and are more likely to come out and be ''openly'' trans.

His fixation showed itself strongly when Sega changed [[Sonic]]'s arms from tan to [[Sonic Boom protests|blue]]. Chris launched a crusade that ended with him [[26 December 2014|macing an innocent GameStop employee]]; a criminal offense launched entirely by a minor change to a fictional character who happens to be Chris's icon.

====4: Sensory processing====
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|left|Chris wearing a wrist warmer with his medallion to reduce sensory discomfort from its chain. Differences in how the body processes sensory stimuli are a common characteristic of autism.]]

Autism affects how the brain interprets the senses. Chris is often either hypo- or hypersensitive to sensory stimulation. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top of his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious, however, is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]], which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He skipped pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise. He is also likely to have taste-related sensory issues, given that he has a [[Chris and nutrition|bland and unhealthy diet]] as well as a [[Pickle#Pickled cucumbers|hatred for pickles]] (a strong-tasting food), which long predates the term's infamous usage to refer to male genitalia.

Sensory dysfunction isn't limited to the five external senses – it extends to internal, "hidden senses" such as balance, body position, [[Obesity|hunger]], thirst, [[biological clock|time]], [[pickles|gag reflex]], and internal body pressure (such as when one has to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the facilities]]).

==Severity of Chris's autism==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris will be quick to tell you about it, though.]]

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing average or above-average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he lived with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend, failed to hold a [[Chris and work|steady job]] for more than a few months, and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soils his pants]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the {{w|DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR}} or the {{w|ICD-10}}. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[List of Chris's lies|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to autistics who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical; he can talk, drive, write and draw, [[Speech impediment|even if]] [[Chris and art|he's not]] [[Son-Chu#Distracted driving|the best]] [[Chris and writing|at these things]]. A major argument against the HFA label is that Chris himself allegedly stopped speaking at the age of one and didn't speak again until he was seven. This is a major language delay, and he would have been considered low-functioning at the time. This is especially relevant since Chris was diagnosed in the eighties, and HFA/Asperger's was only recognized in the English-speaking world in the 1990s. At the time of his diagnosis, being autistic required at least a delay in speech acquisition, if not complete muteness.

The newer {{w|DSM-5}} ''does'' split autism into three different levels of severity based on the amount of support needed. The new term for "High-Functioning Autism" is "Autism Spectrum Disorder [[Vidya|Level 1]]", often subtitled 'Requiring support'. Chris is most likely on the lower functioning end of Level 1, though his developmental delays in early childhood, significant difficulties navigating social situations and stunted life skills could still put him on the cusp of Level 2, meaning 'Requiring substantial support'.

Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==
{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There, he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk; as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> (This implies that Chris could talk before this incident, which directly contradicts Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven.) Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>{{w|Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism}}</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development, even a random babysitter. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [https://archive.is/PROpt positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is also worth noting that [[Bob]] was an engineer, and studies have found higher autism rates among children of engineers (and other technical occupations).<ref>https://archive.is/BHfBO</ref> Bob's granddaughter [[Savannah]] is also autistic.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently, his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven – that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==
Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he threw a temper tantrum so big it forced the faculty to physically restrain him while refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

Chris frequently brings up that the reason people used to [[Kick the Autistic|be cruel to him]] in his childhood was because "they did not understand Autism." In the [[1980s]]. When autism had been known for around 40 years. When asked about why they did not understand, Chris delivers his canned response of "I do not know."

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but also hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is [[Chris and hypocrisy|perfectly justified]], but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to "{{w|Missing white woman syndrome|Missing White Woman Syndrome}}," and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) [[Chris and his ego|he's a brave little boy for living with it]]. His song "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in ''Super Smash Bros.'']]

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert. His tone-deafness for singing is fairly unusual for an autistic individual as well – autistic people tend to have stronger pitch perception, and they are more likely to have perfect pitch than the general population.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People,"]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]] that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary. That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt-trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

Chris's failure to understand the symptoms of autism may well explain some of his odd behaviors. Due to a lack of social activity and poor theory of mind, Chris doesn't seem to realize that his behaviors are what they are, as best demonstrated by his belief that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it is normal for an adult to shit themselves]]. Chris does not recognize the differences between himself and others, and this applies to the differences between himself and neurotypicals - and, seeing no differences, he believes his autism to have been thoroughly conquered, even while embodying every single trait of it.

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>https://archive.ph/ckSNI</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic," and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however, he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth," apparently in reference to the highly disputed {{w|MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth}} alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In a [[Some Favored Comedians|video]] in 2010, Chris said the Internet made people autistic, likely confusing the hyperbolic claim often made jokingly to that effect with fact. Ironically, Chris's excessive use of the Internet in place of human interaction has probably done more to exacerbate his symptoms than almost anything else.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. In fact, Asperger syndrome was eliminated and replaced with "autism spectrum disorder, level 1" in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>https://archive.is/TPWcu</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> In the early days of the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag]], asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

===Chris on Neurotypicality===



Chris also has little understanding of the concept of neurotypicality, the state of lacking any kind of neurologically atypical traits. Some people on the autism spectrum, especially those with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]], are deemed to be of above-average intelligence or possess a special talent in another field like music or art. Chris has taken that to mean that he himself must also be in that same group of autistics, where he is much smarter than the average person. This is especially prevalent during the [[Dimensional Merge]] era, where he refers to non-believers as "neurotypically hindered."

===Alternate phrasing===
{{quote|I have a dementia problem that makes me fall mentally blank|Chris substituting dementia for autism<ref name=doopietweet>[[April 2017 tweets#Doopie defends Chris]]</ref>}}
Chris sometimes uses alternative ways to describe his autism, such as when he hears a new phrase - inapplicable as it may be - and tries to shoehorn it into use.

This was seen during [[April 2017]], when Chris attended care-giving classes in order to help out his [[mother]] around the house. During the classes, Chris learned of the term "dementia", mistakenly believing it to be an umbrella term for mental conditions in general.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Chris applied the term to himself, in reference to his autism disorder, in video<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]</ref> and on [[Twitter]]<ref name=doopietweet></ref> mid-month. Chris ceased misusing the word afterwards.

More absurdly, when Chris learned of the fictional power "Avatar State" from the animated series ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'', he also tried applying it towards his autism disorder. In a tweet from [[January 2021]], he claimed that his "zombie and robot-like state" (such as when he was photographed at [[The GAMe PLACe]]) is an advanced form of the Avatar State.<ref>[[January 2021 social media posts#Successful heavy meditate hour]]</ref>

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. He had special education classes in addition to his mainstreaming - [[coping]] skills classes during both middle and high school.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied, "...Most importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem and doing nothing to help it) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although [[Pixelated PS3|in 2006]] he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "[[Sonichu 10|homo vaccine]]." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris is over his autism]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to blaming it for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''." A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates the misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him, that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

In June of 2016, he [[Announcement 06292016#Announcement 06292016-2|claimed to have cured his autism]] using [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|binaural beats]]. He stated that the track made him think more clearly and [[Chris and socialization|interact better with others]]. However, he has shown no improvement in the quality of his recent videos, and he would continue to make autism-related content in the future.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==
===Chris on other autistics===
{{Dated}}
Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformities, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them in extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "windows to hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and compared them to "zombies."<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward "low-functioning" autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref> Furthermore, many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than Chris does.

He has once expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (ironically, many feel this way about Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[Chris and death|death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can, therefore, be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

His stance on autistic people would seem to shift a little in 2011, with him further believing himself to be a spokesperson for autism. Chris had attempted to educate people about autistic people in his ''LittleBigPlanet2'' series, the [[Autism Tutorial]]. The second part of the series had Chris decreeing that all autistic people should "man and woman up, respectively" in order to socialize with other people. In the extra part of the series, Chris slapped his representation of Hans Asperger out of the belief that he "selfishly put his ill name" with association with the disorder.

Chris has also claimed that his long-time friend [[Anna McLerran]] is autistic.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021]]</ref>

===Other autistics and Chris===
It should be noted that not all autistics are like Chris. Every person's experience with autism is different, and every autistic person has a different combination of symptoms, social skills, sensory issues, empathy, special interests, routines, repetitive and restrictive behaviors and more.

A common analogy for this is that an autistic brain is a "melting pot" or "soup" of symptoms and behaviors <ref>https://autisticadvocacy.tumblr.com/post/113883336014/shades-of-slander</ref>. One person's soup might just be a bit salty, but still good, as they might show a few symptoms but still live a happy life. Another person's soup might taste horrible without seasoning, as they might need some support to function day-to-day.

It just so happens that Chris's soup is a disgusting mixture of sewage, [[April 16 Fetish Vids|Fanta]], rotten eggs and [[Semen|comeuppance]], as he has an extremely unfortunate combination of symptoms and behaviors.

==Autism Deferred Disposition==
{{main|Autism disorder deferred disposition}}
{{quote|and the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that the criminal conduct was caused by or had a direct and substantial relationship to the person's disorder or disability|Excerpt from §19.2-303.6<ref name=autismcard>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/19.2-303.6/</ref>}}

In [[August 2021]], Chris was arrested for the charge of [[incest]] on his [[mother]]. During the court proceedings, his court-appointed lawyer, [[David Heilberg]], filed on 5 [[August 2022]] for §19.2-303.6<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png]]</ref> - deferred disposition based on Chris having autism, which the court granted. In effect, the law provides that if the court would be justified in a finding of guilt, and that autism had a direct cause in Chris's actions in being a motherfucker, then any further proceedings could instead be deferred and Chris put on probationary terms. While the following events are unclear, due to the case being sealed at Heilberg's request (although public records still revealed information), the court appears to have granted the deferred disposition motion.<ref name=autismcard></ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20180626224122/https://autism.wikia.com/wiki/Christian_Chandler Christian Chandler on the Autism Wiki]

{{Health}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Autism

2026-09-18T14:05:38Z

WarnerBro: /* 1: Movements and speech */

:''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|center]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|200px|He plays this card a lot, such as during the [[Jail Saga]].]]
[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[File:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Image of Chris (and his husband Magi-Chan) around neurotypical (non-autistic) "sheeple."]]
[[Image:Chrisautismmeme.jpg|thumb|Chris explains Autism]]

'''Autism''', also known as '''autism spectrum disorder''' ('''ASD''') is a neurodevelopmental disorder and the lens through which [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] experiences the world. It is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[Chris and stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Examples of Chris's Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]], and [[Chris and reality|poor grasp on reality]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris was diagnosed with the disorder in his early childhood (at a time when far less was understood about the disorder), and it became a cornerstone of his identity and influence on how he would act, alongside potentially other undiagnosed psychological or neurodevelopmental disorders. It should be noted that Chris's autism is not reflective of the experiences that most people with the disorder have, but since Chris has consistently pointed to autism whenever he does something wrong, and we have no way of knowing what other disorders Chris may have without access to his medical documents, this article serves as good a place as any to discuss the nature of Chris's neuroses, whether they are tied to autism or not.

==Overview==
{{Protip|There is considerable debate on how to refer to the autism community, with some preferring diagnosis-based language (i.e. "Chris has autism"), adjectives (i.e., "Chris is autistic"), or nouns (i.e., "Chris is an autistic"). Since Chris has never appeared to have a preference, the CWCki uses these terms interchangeably.}}

{{w|Autism}} is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulty in communication and social interactions: issues that usually surface in childhood and carry on throughout life if not treated early on. The disorder represents a spectrum of different symptoms, behaviors, intellects, and support needs. Autism can also lead to restrictive and repetitive behaviors, intense passions known as special interests, and unusual fixations or approaches to stimulation. No two people with autism are exactly the same, and many common autism traits can even contradict each other (i.e. no eye contact vs. [[creepy stare|intense eye contact]]).

[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

Autism is traditionally associated with either [[Slow-in-the-minds|intellectual disability]] or [[Honor roll|above-average intelligence]] (or both in the case of savants), but most autistic people carry average intelligence. The autism spectrum historically covered several related diagnoses, including [[Asperger's syndrome]], [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|which Chris resents]]. The DSM-5 replaced these diagnoses with a single diagnosis of ''autism spectrum disorder'', divided into three levels based on support needs.

Due to his status as an internet celebrity and lolcow, it goes without saying that Chris has a very unusual case of autism. Since he is arguably the most documented autistic person in modern history, he affects public perceptions of the disorder on the internet. That being said, it is highly likely that Chris has ''many'' other issues beyond just having autism, since Chris has demonstrated problems that can't simply be explained away by the disorder. (For instance, it shouldn't have taken him seven years to learn how to speak, even with severe symptoms. Meanwhile, his severe delusions that spiraled later in life demonstrate signs of a schizoaffective disorder.) Without a proper medical diagnosis, in part thanks to Chris's history of avoiding cooperation with people trying to help him understand himself on that level, autism remains the typical scapegoat to explain Chris's behavior, even if the truth may be more complicated.

Chris has built much of his identity around his high-functioning autism. His terror of being associated with severely autistic people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. The angst he has over his unsatisfactory graduation is made manifest in [[Sonichu (comic)|his webcomic]] as [[Count Graduon|one of the work's key villains]].

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is completely different from that of literally every other person in the world who has autism (which, while not ''totally'' wrong, is a gross oversimplification of the disorder's spectral nature). Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong mere minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father Call#Financial Situation and Crystal the Tard Baby (11:01-18:28)]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if [[Twin Falling Towers|he]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|makes]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of college|poor]] [[Affair with Mother|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 20]]</ref>

==Chris's symptoms==
{{protip|Do not use Chris to bash all autistic people, and do not complain about how he gives autism a bad name. He is one person on the autism ''spectrum''. This article mostly deals with Chris's autism.}}

[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

A 2004 [[Autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] confirms that Chris has ''autistic disorder''. Though his original childhood diagnosis papers are [[2014 house fire|presumably lost forever]], Chris was diagnosed by actual specialists, not armchair psychologists.

Nevertheless, many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with that of various other autistics. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general, these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what most autistics are like. They are well-aware that the condition is a spectrum.

Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to a certain extent in the context of intellectual learning. Others can learn social skills the old-fashioned way, usually through joining a group and coming out of their shell. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. They may also adopt the alternative approach of "Haters Gonna Hate," surrounding themselves with like-minded people and not giving a fuck about the bullies.

Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies but also accept them at face value. Sometimes, he even wishes to force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layman might come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic, guy with a few "eccentricities" and personality flaws, or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris is completely [[slow-in-the-minds|mentally retarded]] or full-blown schizophrenic. Some folks argue that Chris's autism is so mild that it's barely relevant, while others attribute his entire personality to it.

But the truth appears to be somewhere in the middle: Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of genuine autism, [[Borb|bad parenting]], isolation, and other [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental impairments]].

His symptoms are listed below, coded to match [https://archive.ph/YxSOM the official DSM-5 diagnosis:]

===A: Deficits in communication and social interaction===
====1: Social-emotional reciprocity====
Chris struggles with social-emotional reciprocity, the two-way understanding required for successful social interaction.

[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Trolls manipulated Chris into [[Ohio Trip|driving all the way to Ohio]] to save [[Julie|a fake girlfriend]] – the only things Chris gained from the trip were these fast food receipts. Difficulties in discerning the motives and intentions of others is regularly observed among people diagnosed with autism.]]

=====Understanding others' intentions=====
Chris has difficulty gauging others' thoughts, feelings, ideas, and intentions. He doesn't always understand that these might be different than his own, or how to predict these behaviors. In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video]] he made of himself destroying his own [[PlayStation 3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own, as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

Chris is extremely gullible. While autistics can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone those that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls (of both sexes) pretending to be female sweethearts, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo executives]] approaching him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

=====Empathy and sympathy=====
Chris shows very little [[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|empathy]] and [[Chris and kindness|concern for others]]. In his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde, his advice after the suicide of Clyde's brother [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding" — he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

When Chris does attempt empathy, it's only when he already sees himself in the person, no matter how big the stretch is. This habit shows up in Chris's [[Chris and politics|justifications for his votes]]. He voted for [[Barack Obama]] because he was a victim of discrimination, equating Obama's struggle with racism to his own struggle with autistic persecution. He mainly voted for [[Hillary Clinton]] because she was a woman, which Chris has identified as since 2014. He never looked at either candidate's platforms or voted based on actual issues, just based on who he could "see" himself in.

=====Social awareness and boundaries=====
[[Image:Chris holding sign.jpg|thumb|right|The [[attraction sign]] in action. Struggling with social norms and approaching people is a sign of autism.]]

Chris struggles with social approach. He believed that holding up a literal [[sign]] with his requirements for an eligible sweetheart was a socially acceptable way to meet people. He would [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|pace around]] public places aimlessly, and he has difficulty initiating conversations. He sometimes starts off the convo with botched attempts at pickup lines, and [[random-access humor]]. Nowadays, much of his social approach takes the form of meet-and-greet photo ops at [[conventions]] or elsewhere, though he still screws it up.

Chris doesn't understand the concept of boundaries, whether physical or verbal. He kissed people he met seconds ago at [[TooManyGames]]. He was quite handsy with [[Megan]], [[Kacey]], and [[Emily]], and he buried his face in [[Catherine]]'s breasts. He regularly refers to his [[Mary Lee Walsh|superiors]] by their first name, sometimes even by [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|pet names]] they don't even use. He doesn't seem to understand that different relationships call for different sets of social norms.

Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social dysfunction. Without provocation, he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]], his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], his autism itself, and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he was a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref> He mostly takes interest in himself while talking, only occasionally taking interest in his conversational partner.

All of the above could be explained by Chris's lack of social awareness. One notable instance of this, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Chris and race#Black_people|black]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

====2: Nonverbal communication====
[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[File:0419-ChristianIs17-14.jpg|thumb|right|Demonstrating poor eye contact.]]

Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]" (though [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] displays a similar stare). When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish, possibly because he copied it from [[My Little Pony|actual cartoons]]. Also, notice his inconsistent eye contact in his [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] news interview. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural. His incompetence with emotional display extends to his [[art]] and comics as well. He has a hard time displaying emotion on his characters' faces, and has even added emoticons :) to the speech bubbles to make up for his lack of ability to communicate through his art and writing alone.

Chris also has very poor [[Facial blindness|facial and vocal recognition skills]]. [[Julie]] was a 13-year-old boy using an obvious falsetto, and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice, and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In a [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them, even though the two don't even have the same skin color. He didn't realize that [[Emily]] and [[Kim Wilson|Kim]] were the same person, even though their voices and laughs were obviously identical. Chris is inconsistent with his self-portraits and drawings of other people, relying more on color schemes and cosmetics (hair, clothing choices, etc.) than on facial features to distinguish them apart. In his attempt at a [[Barack Obama#White House gag|political cartoon]], he relies on labels and arrows to distinguish the characters instead of exaggerating their facial features like mainstream political cartoonists. He also depicts Obama in a traditional African cap that he seldom wears.

[[Image:0485-CWC18th16.jpg|thumb|left|Chris has had very little social interaction since high school. This is one of the few pictures of him with his [[gal pals]], and it only shows him from behind.]]

====3: Interpersonal relationships====
Chris's social dysfunction has caused him trouble with developing and maintaining relationships – platonic or romantic. Many non-autistics have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing.

Chris's earliest friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], was more of a bully than a friend; she locked him in the crawlspace of her house and tried convincing him to eat the berries of a honeysuckle, which can induce [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|diarrhea]]. His high school [[Gal-Pals]] were "hired help": Bob and the principal arranged a deal where they were paid to hang out with Chris. He rarely hung out with them outside school hours, except on his [[My big 18th party|18th birthday]] and at [[prom]].

Chris has had very few friends as an adult. He loses friends regularly, manages to get [[banned]] from his favorite hangouts, and has no contact with any of his beloved high school Gal-Pals. He did have a circle of [[Pokémon League friends|adult friends who played Pokémon with him]], but he lost contact with them once he switched his focus to [[imaginary friends]] and online [[enablers]] after the [[Idea Guys]] managed to destroy what little remaining grip on [[reality]] Chris had.

Despite this, Chris's social life was robust compared to his love life. Chris is in his forties, and he hasn't had a serious romantic relationship or any consensual contact with the opposite sex (aside from a [[Mia Hamm|prostitute]] and [[Affair with Mother|his own mother]], though whether the latter was completely consensual remains questionable), or the [[bisexual|same sex]] for that matter. His foray into [[Dating profiles|online dating]] was a failure, and every one of his [[sweethearts]] was either [[Megan|just a friend]] or a troll. He viewed his desperate search as a [[Love Quest]] – a saga that began on his 21st birthday, and only ended when he got into a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his OCs.

Chris is also estranged from his family outside of his parents. Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] has blocked him on social media. He has little contact with his other half-brother [[David Alan Chandler|David]], and knows even less of his half-sister [[Carol Chandler|Carol]].

As with many autistics, Chris does manage to have good relationships with animals, whether [[Patti|real]] or [[Sonichu (species)|fake]]. Animals are more direct and don't have as complex of social rituals as humans. Animals also serve as a "social lubricant" for people on the spectrum. Anyone who knows anything about Temple Grandin can back this up.

===B: Chris's restricted and repetitive behaviors===
To receive an autism diagnosis, the DSM-5 requires restricted and repetitive behaviors [https://archive.ph/YxSOM in at least two of the following four categories.] Chris meets all of them; examples are given below:

====1: Movements and speech====
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|Chris refers to the [[Xbox]] as the "HEXbox," showing both his [[brand loyalty]] and vocabulary of made-up words.|250px]]

Chris often exhibits echolalia, which means he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]]. He tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. He uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

Autism is also linked to [[speech impediment]]s. Chris has trouble with articulation, and often slurs words together like "[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Essaikapeeia Dramakka Payzh]]" and "[[Christian Weston Chandler|Krishnwessonchanler]]." He frequently stutters, clutters his words, and speaks in a higher-pitched register.

Chris's unusual [[mannerisms]] are another sign. He rocks back and forth (dubbed "The Autistic Shuffle"), especially when [[Chris and stress|stressed]]. He uses the same gestures repeatedly, such as his [[stress sigh]], [[The Claw of Fail]], and the infamous [[Dramatic Glasses Removal]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of {{w|hypotonia}}, which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, but he also shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly, even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]] — as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly.

[[Image:Please,_Donate_(720p).mp400001.png|thumb|left|250px|Chris has spent the majority of his adult life in his bedroom.]]

====2: Insistence on sameness====
One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear of and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life]], never came close to moving out [[Affair with Mother|until he was absolutely forced to]], has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, has never stuck to a [[Chris and health|diet and exercise program]], [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women]], and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from his favorite [[the GAMe PLACe|hangout spots]]. His proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self-improvement show that he has a very hard time moving on from his childhood lifestyle (where he had no obligations other than school), or simply fears failure of all types.

Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his '[[heart level]]' and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie]], Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

Some autistic people follow rules so strictly that it's bordering OCD. Chris however, has the opposite problem. He lived in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house for many years,]] makes comics with a very inconsistent plot, wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Autistics generally have "special interests." These interests can range from familiar subjects popular with most people, to specialized interests and areas of higher study, from elevators to astrophysics, or in Chris's case, Sonic the Hedgehog.]]

====3: Fixations and special interests====
Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, cartoons, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much so that he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his game consoles, and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistics have difficulty maintaining relationships with people, they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in autistic children.

Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays and middle names that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

Chris's fixations also manifest as [[brand loyalty]]. Chris has been loyal to Nintendo, Sega and Sony, to the exclusion of [[HEXbox|Microsoft]]. He's loyal to [[McDonald's]] and dislikes [[Burger King]]. He felt that [[Harry Potter]] was a threat to [[Pokemon]]. His brand loyalty went beyond simple preferences and extended to actual obsessions and hatreds. He'd hype up [[Axe]] and [[Walmart]] in videos. He'd blindly trust advertisements and even include ads of his own in his comics.

According to controversial psychologist Ken Zucker, trans folks are more likely to be autistic than the general population. In his view, the link is caused by autistics' tendency to fixate on issues (in this case, gender). Many autistic males (including Chris) also have qualities that can be considered effeminate, such as passiveness. Since they have less social awareness, they may behave in ways that can be considered atypical for either sex and display less regard for gender roles. Chris and many other autistics perceive their quirks as being "female in a male body" or vice versa, and assume that they will fit in better as their desired sex.

However, it may also be that autistic people are less likely to give into gender expectations and are more likely to come out and be ''openly'' trans.

His fixation showed itself strongly when Sega changed [[Sonic]]'s arms from tan to [[Sonic Boom protests|blue]]. Chris launched a crusade that ended with him [[26 December 2014|macing an innocent GameStop employee]]; a criminal offense launched entirely by a minor change to a fictional character who happens to be Chris's icon.

====4: Sensory processing====
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|left|Chris wearing a wrist warmer with his medallion to reduce sensory discomfort from its chain. Differences in how the body processes sensory stimuli are a common characteristic of autism.]]

Autism affects how the brain interprets the senses. Chris is often either hypo- or hypersensitive to sensory stimulation. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top of his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious, however, is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]], which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He skipped pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise. He is also likely to have taste-related sensory issues, given that he has a [[Chris and nutrition|bland and unhealthy diet]] as well as a [[Pickle#Pickled cucumbers|hatred for pickles]] (a strong-tasting food), which long predates the term's infamous usage to refer to male genitalia.

Sensory dysfunction isn't limited to the five external senses – it extends to internal, "hidden senses" such as balance, body position, [[Obesity|hunger]], thirst, [[biological clock|time]], [[pickles|gag reflex]], and internal body pressure (such as when one has to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the facilities]]).

==Severity of Chris's autism==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris will be quick to tell you about it, though.]]

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing average or above-average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he lived with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend, failed to hold a [[Chris and work|steady job]] for more than a few months, and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soils his pants]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the {{w|DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR}} or the {{w|ICD-10}}. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[List of Chris's lies|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to autistics who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical; he can talk, drive, write and draw, [[Speech impediment|even if]] [[Chris and art|he's not]] [[Son-Chu#Distracted driving|the best]] [[Chris and writing|at these things]]. A major argument against the HFA label is that Chris himself allegedly stopped speaking at the age of one and didn't speak again until he was seven. This is a major language delay, and he would have been considered low-functioning at the time. This is especially relevant since Chris was diagnosed in the eighties, and HFA/Asperger's was only recognized in the English-speaking world in the 1990s. At the time of his diagnosis, being autistic required at least a delay in speech acquisition, if not complete muteness.

The newer {{w|DSM-5}} ''does'' split autism into three different levels of severity based on the amount of support needed. The new term for "High-Functioning Autism" is "Autism Spectrum Disorder [[Vidya|Level 1]]", often subtitled 'Requiring support'. Chris is most likely on the lower functioning end of Level 1, though his developmental delays in early childhood, significant difficulties navigating social situations and stunted life skills could still put him on the cusp of Level 2, meaning 'Requiring substantial support'.

Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==
{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There, he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk; as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> (This implies that Chris could talk before this incident, which directly contradicts Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven.) Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>{{w|Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism}}</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development, even a random babysitter. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [https://archive.is/PROpt positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is also worth noting that [[Bob]] was an engineer, and studies have found higher autism rates among children of engineers (and other technical occupations).<ref>https://archive.is/BHfBO</ref> Bob's granddaughter [[Savannah]] is also autistic.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently, his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven – that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==
Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he threw a temper tantrum so big it forced the faculty to physically restrain him while refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

Chris frequently brings up that the reason people used to [[Kick the Autistic|be cruel to him]] in his childhood was because "they did not understand Autism." In the [[1980s]]. When autism had been known for around 40 years. When asked about why they did not understand, Chris delivers his canned response of "I do not know."

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but also hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is [[Chris and hypocrisy|perfectly justified]], but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to "{{w|Missing white woman syndrome|Missing White Woman Syndrome}}," and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) [[Chris and his ego|he's a brave little boy for living with it]]. His song "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in ''Super Smash Bros.'']]

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert. His tone-deafness for singing is fairly unusual for an autistic individual as well – autistic people tend to have stronger pitch perception, and they are more likely to have perfect pitch than the general population.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People,"]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]] that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary. That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt-trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

Chris's failure to understand the symptoms of autism may well explain some of his odd behaviors. Due to a lack of social activity and poor theory of mind, Chris doesn't seem to realize that his behaviors are what they are, as best demonstrated by his belief that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it is normal for an adult to shit themselves]]. Chris does not recognize the differences between himself and others, and this applies to the differences between himself and neurotypicals - and, seeing no differences, he believes his autism to have been thoroughly conquered, even while embodying every single trait of it.

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>https://archive.ph/ckSNI</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic," and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however, he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth," apparently in reference to the highly disputed {{w|MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth}} alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In a [[Some Favored Comedians|video]] in 2010, Chris said the Internet made people autistic, likely confusing the hyperbolic claim often made jokingly to that effect with fact. Ironically, Chris's excessive use of the Internet in place of human interaction has probably done more to exacerbate his symptoms than almost anything else.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. In fact, Asperger syndrome was eliminated and replaced with "autism spectrum disorder, level 1" in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>https://archive.is/TPWcu</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> In the early days of the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag]], asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

===Chris on Neurotypicality===



Chris also has little understanding of the concept of neurotypicality, the state of lacking any kind of neurologically atypical traits. Some people on the autism spectrum, especially those with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]], are deemed to be of above-average intelligence or possess a special talent in another field like music or art. Chris has taken that to mean that he himself must also be in that same group of autistics, where he is much smarter than the average person. This is especially prevalent during the [[Dimensional Merge]] era, where he refers to non-believers as "neurotypically hindered."

===Alternate phrasing===
{{quote|I have a dementia problem that makes me fall mentally blank|Chris substituting dementia for autism<ref name=doopietweet>[[April 2017 tweets#Doopie defends Chris]]</ref>}}
Chris sometimes uses alternative ways to describe his autism, such as when he hears a new phrase - inapplicable as it may be - and tries to shoehorn it into use.

This was seen during [[April 2017]], when Chris attended care-giving classes in order to help out his [[mother]] around the house. During the classes, Chris learned of the term "dementia", mistakenly believing it to be an umbrella term for mental conditions in general.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Chris applied the term to himself, in reference to his autism disorder, in video<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]</ref> and on [[Twitter]]<ref name=doopietweet></ref> mid-month. Chris ceased misusing the word afterwards.

More absurdly, when Chris learned of the fictional power "Avatar State" from the animated series ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'', he also tried applying it towards his autism disorder. In a tweet from [[January 2021]], he claimed that his "zombie and robot-like state" (such as when he was photographed at [[The GAMe PLACe]]) is an advanced form of the Avatar State.<ref>[[January 2021 social media posts#Successful heavy meditate hour]]</ref>

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. He had special education classes in addition to his mainstreaming - [[coping]] skills classes during both middle and high school.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied, "...Most importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem and doing nothing to help it) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although [[Pixelated PS3|in 2006]] he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "[[Sonichu 10|homo vaccine]]." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris is over his autism]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to blaming it for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''." A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates the misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him, that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

In June of 2016, he [[Announcement 06292016#Announcement 06292016-2|claimed to have cured his autism]] using [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|binaural beats]]. He stated that the track made him think more clearly and [[Chris and socialization|interact better with others]]. However, he has shown no improvement in the quality of his recent videos, and he would continue to make autism-related content in the future.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==
===Chris on other autistics===
{{Dated}}
Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformities, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them in extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "windows to hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and compared them to "zombies."<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward "low-functioning" autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref> Furthermore, many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than Chris does.

He has once expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (ironically, many feel this way about Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can, therefore, be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

His stance on autistic people would seem to shift a little in 2011, with him further believing himself to be a spokesperson for autism. Chris had attempted to educate people about autistic people in his ''LittleBigPlanet2'' series, the [[Autism Tutorial]]. The second part of the series had Chris decreeing that all autistic people should "man and woman up, respectively" in order to socialize with other people. In the extra part of the series, Chris slapped his representation of Hans Asperger out of the belief that he "selfishly put his ill name" with association with the disorder.

Chris has also claimed that his long-time friend [[Anna McLerran]] is autistic.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021]]</ref>

===Other autistics and Chris===
It should be noted that not all autistics are like Chris. Every person's experience with autism is different, and every autistic person has a different combination of symptoms, social skills, sensory issues, empathy, special interests, routines, repetitive and restrictive behaviors and more.

A common analogy for this is that an autistic brain is a "melting pot" or "soup" of symptoms and behaviors <ref>https://autisticadvocacy.tumblr.com/post/113883336014/shades-of-slander</ref>. One person's soup might just be a bit salty, but still good, as they might show a few symptoms but still live a happy life. Another person's soup might taste horrible without seasoning, as they might need some support to function day-to-day.

It just so happens that Chris's soup is a disgusting mixture of sewage, [[April 16 Fetish Vids|Fanta]], rotten eggs and [[Semen|comeuppance]], as he has an extremely unfortunate combination of symptoms and behaviors.

==Autism Deferred Disposition==
{{main|Autism disorder deferred disposition}}
{{quote|and the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that the criminal conduct was caused by or had a direct and substantial relationship to the person's disorder or disability|Excerpt from §19.2-303.6<ref name=autismcard>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/19.2-303.6/</ref>}}

In [[August 2021]], Chris was arrested for the charge of [[incest]] on his [[mother]]. During the court proceedings, his court-appointed lawyer, [[David Heilberg]], filed on 5 [[August 2022]] for §19.2-303.6<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png]]</ref> - deferred disposition based on Chris having autism, which the court granted. In effect, the law provides that if the court would be justified in a finding of guilt, and that autism had a direct cause in Chris's actions in being a motherfucker, then any further proceedings could instead be deferred and Chris put on probationary terms. While the following events are unclear, due to the case being sealed at Heilberg's request (although public records still revealed information), the court appears to have granted the deferred disposition motion.<ref name=autismcard></ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20180626224122/https://autism.wikia.com/wiki/Christian_Chandler Christian Chandler on the Autism Wiki]

{{Health}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Daniel Mimms

2026-09-18T14:03:29Z

WarnerBro:

{{Infobox Person
|title = Daniel Mimms
|name = Daniel Mimms
|image = MimmsIRL.JPG
|size = 250px
|gender = [[MALE]]
|race = White
|nation = American
|saga = [[GAMe PLACe]]
|}}

[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|250px|Did Mimms take this photo? YES / NO]]
[[Image:MimmsArtistsImpression01.png|thumb|250px|Artist's impression of Mimms.]]
{{quote|For the week, my family and I were pondering the major suspect; the dude who took that pic, which I distinctly remember seeing the camera flash while I playing a young gentleman in Pokémon TCG. Thus, my family came in and we found that Mimms had the camera in question, but he did not take the picture.|Chris, the [[autism|autistic]] Sherlock Holmes<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}
'''Daniel Mimms''' was a frequent patron of [[The GAMe PLACe]] back when Chris and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] hung out there, and was an invaluable source for the earliest days of Christory.

==Events==
[[Image:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|thumb|Mimms was such a good friend of Chris, he got his own custom [[My Little Pony]].]]

===Early days===
Mimms hung out at [[the GAMe PLACe]] and sometimes played Chris in [[card games]], most notably making Chris cry after beating him in one turn in a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' battle.

===Troll involvement===
When a photo of the original creator of [[Sonichu]] was uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan/ED]] in late [[2007]], Chris suspected Mimms, and brought [[Borb|his parents]] into the store for an interrogation. In the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], Mimms admitted that he did take the picture.

Chris seemed upset to have been betrayed by his Game Place joy-boys, describing learning that ''"TWO OF THE TROLLS were old Pokémon TCG comrades in that same League I used to go to HAD PART in the creation of that D*** [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|E.D. Page]]"'' as one of the 10 worst things that happened to him in his life.<ref>[[Common Questions#22 February 2010]]</ref> On 3 [[August 2009]], Chris apologized for getting his parents to confront Mimms, and said ''"if you will let me know what I have done wrong unto you to cause you grief, I will be happy to listen and fully comprehend."''<ref>[[C.W.C. - Thank You :)]]</ref>

===Facebook===
In [[May 2012]], Chris publicly provided a link to Mimms' [[Facebook]] account, [[Chris and reality|for some reason]] believing the [[trolls]] would harass him instead of Chris.

{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our [[card games]]. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.}}

Lending further lunacy to this announcement is the fact that Mimms never denied knowing Chris, or had any reason to.

==See also==
*[[Lucas]]
*[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]

==References==
<references/>
{{EDSaga}}
{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Mimms, Daniel}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Saga

2026-09-18T14:01:02Z

WarnerBro: /* Ivy Saga (March - July 2009) */

{{Honest}}
{{Illustrations}}

{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}

A "'''saga'''" (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is a story arc of events on the [[CWCki:CWChronology|CWChronology]], documenting [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s actions during a specific span of time. The Christorian use of the term is derived from story arcs in ''[[Dragon Ball]]'', a series that Chris likes, based on the story arcs usually being named after an arc villain. (This was true for Christory at first, but Sagas have since encompassed various sweethearts and specific events over specifically revolving around specific antagonists to Chris-Chan.)

==Meta-Sagas==

For nearly two decades, Chris has been going through one tumult or another. However, throughout each of these, Chris has had a [[autism|special interest]] or obsession that would follow him through all of them, and would define him as a person. Indeed, this central focus of his life would serve to unite his sagas with a common theme: a near-certain way to get a reaction out of Chris would be by winning his trust through feeding his special interest, and then exploiting it for Laughs Under Lucricities. For most of Christory, this would be pretending to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]], but more recently this has transmuted into [[Chris and his ego|feigning to worship]] him. As they are threads running through and linking together, and are the broadest strokes of Chris's life, they can be considered ''meta-sagas'', beyond and more fundamental than the fleeting fancies of any individual [[troll]].

===Love Quest (ca. 2003 - March 2018; January 2021-Present)===
[[File:LoveQuestSaga.png|500px]]

''The'' quintessential saga, and the one that introduced this word to the Christorian's lexicon. Sometime early in his career at PVCC, Chris decided that he needed a girlfriend to call his own. Beset on all sides by the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]] (read: women were repulsed by his unusual mannerisms), the [[virgin with rage]] resorted to increasingly desperate and bizarre methods of obtaining one, which have seen him [[List of places that have banned Chris|expelled and banned]] from multiple reputable establishments. After his discovery by the Internet, Chris would flutter from one professed girlfriend to another, thinking that each might be the [[CWCisms#H|heartsweet]] that might end this search once and for all. Alas, it was not meant to be, and Chris often found himself betrayed and humiliated in comical and grotesque ways. The Love Quest survived several upheavals in Chris's life, including his father's death, the loss of his virginity, the house fire and his gender transition (see below), yet despite Christorians' predictions, and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle Man]]'s injunctions, finally concluded in [[March 2018]], when a mentally eroded Chris declared himself in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his [[Chris and reality|fictional characters]].

The Love Quest would seem to come back in full force by the beginning of 2021, and much more intense than before, with Chris expressing sexual frustrations to Watchmen members, wishing to get a physical girlfriend. He would crush on multiple women of interest all at once and have wet dreams that involved cartoon characters. It would get intense to the point of [[Affair with Mother|releasing this sexual frustration on his own mother]], leading to dire consequences.
{{Love Quest}}

===Transgender Saga (''30 March 2011 - Present'')===
[[File:TransgenderSaga.png|500px]]

In [[2011]], Chris began the process of gender transitioning. In March of that year, he starting cross-dressing and later came out as a "tomgirl". Despite resistance from his parents, Chris continued down the transgender path, exploring his gender identity. In 2014, he briefly identified as a lesbian male, and a year later, settled on identifying as a lesbian transwoman.
{{Sexuality}}

===Business Saga (''3 July 2014 - 8 June 2016''; ''June 2017 - July 2021''; ''October 2023 - present'')===

Although this Saga began during the Sonic Boom Saga, it ultimately outlasted it. Chris realized during this Saga that he could make significantly large amounts of [[money]] by selling his own products, including Medallions and customized [[Sonichu Amiibo]]s, first on [[eBay]], then on [[Etsy]]. This Saga is notable for featuring the return of frequent video uploads by Chris. Inevitably, Chris's laziness got the better of him (again) and he failed to ship out multiple orders. As his interest in making money dwindled, the [[Financhu Crisis]] began to strain the Chandler finances. Chris failed to get his act together, resulting in him getting banned from selling on Etsy on 8 June 2016, halting the Saga. There were a [[Paid Video Requests|few]] [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff|recurrences]] where Chris attempted to profit from his own products again, but these were expectedly fruitless and short-lived. In [[May 2017]], Chris began drawing [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] pages again after a 561-day hiatus, and in June, he resumed monetizing ''Sonichu'' comics, by setting pages as rewards on his [[Patreon]] account and again offering printed books from [[Lulu]].

Through 2018 and 2019, Chris has grown neglectful of his commercial obligations, failing to produce Sonichu pages and ship items, culminating in his restriction from [[eBay]] on 16 June 2019.

Chris's Patreon was shut down in [[August 2021]] after he was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] for [[Affair with Mother|incest]]. With the help of Praetor, Chris began selling items again in [[May 2022]] while in jail, albeit in limited quantity. After his release from jail, Chris returned to his regular business on Etsy in [[October 2023]]. He later created a [[Cwclight|website]] with Shopify to accompany it, which was also sometimes used to make transactions. In [[February 2026]], Chris made accounts on [[Ko-fi]] and [[Cameo]] and started recording commissioned videos for the latter, much like what he had done years before.

{{BusinessList}}

===Financhu Crisis Saga (''12 April 2016 - 26 April 2023'')===
[[File:FinanchuSaga.png|500px]]
{{main|Financhu Crisis}}

Coined by the members of the [[Kiwi Farms]], this saga began when Chris released [[Please, Donate|a video]] asking for donations in exchange for gifts. Then, he cut out the gifts, and when his Etsy shop was closed, resorted to straight begging, [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|prostitution]], and [[By random request; I still need money, please|video]] [[Update 20160718|requests]]; all while continuing to buy over $1,000 worth of toys and only selling [[Update 20160718|'''THREE POKÉMON CARDS''']] at this saga's beginning, and putting various worthless junk on eBay for exorbitant prices. Chris was eventually able to sell the [[Sonic Totem|Sonic totem]] for $1500 only to [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017|immediately admit to wasting the profits]] on toys and a [[$400 gold necklace]] to replace one Barb previously pawned; a selfish act that shows the full extent of Chris and Barb's financial incompetency. His begging also goes to the point of [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Who wants to pay our mortgage?!|asking on Facebook]] for someone to pay his mortgage. This also shows [[Chris and his ego|Chris's ego]], since he [[Announcement 06292016|treats his monetary problems that he caused as a charity]].

In June 2017, Chris began to take his Patreon more seriously by actually working on the Sonichu comic; as a result, his Patreon earnings skyrocketed to hundreds of dollars per month and mitigated his desire to beg for money. As a result, Chris stopped begging in July. However, he remained deeply in debt and showed no signs of developing greater financial responsibility.

In late 2017 and early 2018 work on ''Sonichu'' slowed, as did Chris's Patreon donations. Around this time, Chris later claimed he needed to cover an unknown but essential large expenditure which he refuses to discuss in detail. As a result, Chris resumed begging and selling items on eBay with greater intensity than ever, peaking in early May when he made [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE|a trilogy of panicked videos]] revealing that a mortgage payment on [[14 Branchland Court]] was due soon and that the unknown expenditure had left him and Barb unable to cover it. Though Chris was saved by an influx of donations and eBay sales, the Chandlers' financial situation evidently remains more desperate than ever.

===Roleplaying Saga (''August 2017 - Present'')===
[[File:Escapist Saga Banner.png|600px]]

As a maladaptive [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism against the bleakness of his [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's belief in imaginary friends and magical thinking drastically increased, one example of him dancing with [[Magi-Chan]] at the 2017 [[BronyCon]]. After the [[Idea Guys]], the [[Teen Troon Squad]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and [[other enablers|other successive enablers]] further fueled his fantasies by validating them, Chris retreated even more into his fantasy world. It was once again re-enforced by the [[COVID-19]] pandemic due to the fact that it cancelled all the conventions Chris was planning to attend in [[2020]].

On 19 September 2021, Chris wrote a letter in jail, where he declares himself as Jesus of Nazareth.

{{Coping}}

===Dimensional Merge (''14 October 2018 - Present'')===
[[File:Merge saga.png|500px]]
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

Due to the influence of the Idea Guys and Teen Troon Squad, ideas of a dimensional merge began to manifest within Chris. This came to a head in [[October 2018]], when Chris uploaded a video where he announced that our dimension will soon merge with another. He has revised the deadline for this prophecy several times. This was followed by several months of him droning about it on Twitter, even during his Soft Exile (described below). Various weens, including [[Sarah and Steve]], would circumvent new Twitter restrictions through physical mail or other channels, seeking to encourage him further; in [[April 2019]] things went to a new level when [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler|a video]] was posted of a masked man reading a letter supposedly from a time-traveling [[Reginald Chandler]] announcing the merge.

{{Fantasies}}

===Praetor Saga (''September 2020 - August 2021; May 2022 - Present'')===
In [[September 2020]], a group calling itself [[Praetor]], led by [[Caden Peck]], visited Chris at his home to propose doing [[Chris and business|business]] with him. An online shop, [[OfficialCWCmart]], was launched later that year. Starting with selling Praetor-made [[medallions]] (of which Chris received a cut in profits), the business later expanded to items autographed or produced by Chris himself.

In 2023, Caden was involved with financing the [[Big Island, VA]] house, which Chris currently lives in as a renter.

==Pre-Christory (''[[Birthday|24 February 1982]] - June 2000'')==

The world at large discovered Christian Weston Chandler on 27 October 2007. Before this time, we have only a scanty record to the details of Chris's life. For the early Noughties, the earlier ''Sonichu'' comics (especially [[Sonichu 4]]) are a substantial, if biased, record of notable events; Chris has supplemented this with several other records, including his [[CWC's Diary|diary]], and some videos from the time (such as his 2004 Christmas) have been leaked. For the twentieth century, which includes all of Chris's childhood and [[honor roll|high school years]], our records are much sparser. Some content, such as [[Manchester High Leaks|some school papers]] and [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|television footage]], have been unearthed, though much remains unknown or dubious. Indeed, much of our knowledge of Chris's childhood comes from later accounts by Chris. However, Chris's childhood is what made him the manchild he is today, so we must discuss it when discussing him.

===Early Childhood Saga (''24 February 1982 - 1991'')===
[[File:ChildhoodSaga.jpg|500px]]

Christopher Weston Chandler was brought into the world on 24 February 1982. He would allegedly speak his first word 'Monkey' only a month after his birth. Sadly, his speech would be stunted by his [[abusive babysitter]], who is either named 'Roche' or 'Roach'. At the age of 18 months old, Roche would lock him in a room filled with toys because she was angry at him. This would traumatize Chris so much that he would turn mute, and completely refuse to talk save for screeching and screaming.

While mute, Chris would forge a friendship with a girl named [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]], who would become his first female friend. However, there is evidence that Sarah served more as a bully, playing cruel pranks on him such as locking him in her cellar after convincing him Casper the Friendly Ghost was hiding in there.

His parents would send him to [[James Madison University]], where he was trained by a speech therapist to talk. There he would meet [[Joshua Martinez]], a boy who was sent there for his heavy [[Spanish]] accent. He would become Chris's first male friend.

Chris would start speaking after being given a GoBot by [[Barb|his mother]], as he would start reading out the packaging.

<center>{{ChildhoodSaga}}</center>

===Nathanael Greene Saga (''1991'')===
[[File:GreeneSaga.jpg|500px]]

In 1991, Chris would start going to Nathanael Greene Elementary School. While there, Chris would be abused by [[Bruce Johnson]] and [[Mrs. Gaede]], who would both pin him to the ground and record his screams. Johnson additionally made Chris sit on his lap and said offensive things to him, supposedly causing his hatred of [[gays]].

As Chris and his parents are known to be almost pathological [[Lie|liars]], it is unknown if this is an accurate retelling of events. Nonetheless, [[Bob]] would pull Chris out of the school and take the matter of court, though no action would be taken.

<center>{{GreeneSaga}}</center>

===Bearstein Saga (''1992 – 1995'')===
[[File:Pre-Teen Saga.jpg|500px]]

After leaving [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], [[Bob]] homeschooled Chris for [[1992]]. During this year, Chris and Bob would attend ''The Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra'', which they both enjoyed. This would lead to an event in December, when the bear would ask for Christopher's name, which he would mishear as '''Christian'''. Chris would take this as a sign from [[God]], and Bob would agree to legally change his name to Christian.

In 1993, Chris would start attending [[Providence Middle School]], and his encounter with the bear would bless those years of his life. He would have [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] as a teacher, who he would later call the most influential person in his life. In the same year, he would enter the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], and in [[1994]], he had won the competition, leading to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes#Video|the first-ever video recording of Chris]].

<center>{{BearsteinSaga}}</center>

===High School Saga (''August 1996-June 2000'')===
[[File:The High School Saga.png|500px]]

In many senses, Chris peaked in high school. He holds his high school memories and gal-pals dear to his heart. From a positive view, he had his [[gal pal]]s, [[honor roll]], and job as a <s>water boy</s> basketball team manager, and he produced a high volume of [[art]], which included [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] himself. On the flip side, he got an [[Song of Christian|F in English]] and had to ride on the short bus. Graduation was especially painful when he didn't win a not-so-prestigious best artist award.

<center>{{HighSchoolSaga}}</center>

==Early Adult Chronicles (''June 2000 – 27 October 2007'')==

Chris came of age in 2000, a time of many transitions. Once he graduated from [[Manchester High]], he was no longer in the safe, regimented world of compulsory education. No more guaranteed or arranged friendships, and the kid gloves have come off. Colleges are also stricter when setting student accommodations, and professors don't always have time for special arrangements. Additionally, Chris got a taste of the real world at [[Wendy's]], which fired him for [[Donald Duck impersonation|multiple]] [[Cousin Al#Bowling Outing|reasons]].

The little boy who [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|was once doing so well]] now had to make his life work outside of school. Of course, some programs can help autistic folks find work, but Chris figured that was too [[stress]]ful. Instead, he took the easy route with help from [[Bob]]: he applied for [[Monthly tugboat|social security disability checks]]. While fellow students had to balance their schedules with jobs, Chris had all the time in the world to focus on school. After graduating, his whole life became free time. Without a job, Chris had little motivation to get his life together.

While scarcer than in modern times, records for this period are much more substantial than those of Chris's childhood. Even without external provocation or influence, the events of this period, including the Love Quest and the first ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s, were enough to make Chris an Internet legend and would lay the foundation for everything yet to come.

===PVCC Saga (''September 2000 - May 2006'')===
[[File:The PVCC Saga.png|500px]]

From [[2000]] to [[2006]], Chris attended Piedmont Virginia Community College, a local community college, to obtain a degree in [[Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. It took him five years of [[Chris's education|schooling]] to complete an ostensibly two-year degree, and this time in his life was not without drama. His 21st birthday in [[2003]] marked the beginning of the [[Love Quest]]. Chris would go around campus carrying a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] showing his demands for an ideal partner. [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a dean at [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]], confiscated the signs. He retaliated by making more; he even printed some out to put around campus walls. Chris eventually confronted Walsh, who [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] him from PVCC for a year. Chris had to receive a [[autism papers|psychological evaluation]] to be allowed back on campus, and he began using the sign in other locations. Chris immortalized Walsh as a cartoon villain in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.

<center>{{PVCCSaga}}</center>

=== GAMe PLACe Saga (''2002 - July 2012'')===
[[File:Game Place.jpg|500px]]

Currently the second-longest saga in Christory. For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain in the ass to store manager [[Michael Snyder]], and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various patrons (which infamously included being [[Chris and race#black people| racist towards black ones]]), yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain, Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, and [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael [[CWC is Angry|to shoot at]], but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They also had to pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

<center>{{GamePlaceSaga}}</center>

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - April 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg|500px]]

From 2005 to 21 April 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved... excluding Chris. The saga would end when Megan told Chris [[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore|she could no longer trust him]]. Nonetheless, Chris has refused to let her go, and his useless attempts at making amends have stretched all the way to ''2018'' (for reference, that's a ''decade'' since Megan cut off ties with him).

<center>{{MeganSaga}}</center>

===Stackhouse Saga (''June - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg|500px]]

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|contest]] to win Megan's heart (more or less her china too), only to be beaten by a much superior entry made by one Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time an unsuspecting member of the public inadvertently caused a saga. From then on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

Over a decade after the Saga concluded, Chris finally made peace with Stackhouse after the latter made a surprise appearance in the audience for [[MAGfest#The Christory of Sonichu panel|Chris's panel]] at [[MAGfest]] 2018.

<center>{{StackhouseSaga}}</center>

==Classic Chris Era (''27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010'')==

The era that most associate with Chris. The mists of antiquity begin to fade on 27 October 2007, when an unrelated thread on the ''[[Something Awful]]'' forums was derailed by someone mentioning seeing our epic cycle's hero in the flesh.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg|500px]]

In November 2007, trolls would discover Chris and create a page about him on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Chris would initially think that they just got his information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, in the process destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely autistic]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm, although the site has long since fallen out of relevance in Chris's life, replaced with outlets such as the [[Kiwi Farms]].

<center>{{EDSaga}}</center>

===Blanca Saga (''August - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg|500px]]

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[white knight]]ing efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain Chris's [[medallions]] and film a video of them cutting one up and [[Fire|setting it ablaze]].

<center>{{BlancaSaga}}</center>

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''Mid-2008/Late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg|500px]]

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he was led to believe that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

<center>{{JimmyHillSaga}}</center>

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - Mid-2010)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg|500px]]

In 2008, Chris encountered a new troll named Clyde Cash, who went on a months-long trolling spree to get back at the autistic wonder for supposedly causing his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]]. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

<center>{{ClydeCashSaga}}</center>

===PandaHalo Saga (''Mid-2008/Late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg|500px]]

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when he found out that she was supposedly found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, the ever-gullible Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian [[Brushfire Video|brushfires]], despite living miles away from the incident; question remains as to whether she really died in this event, or was actually working in tandem with Clyde, their relationship being consensual after all. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

<center>{{PandaSaga}}</center>

===Miyamoto Saga (''January - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg|500px]]

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by a troll posing as [[Nintendo]] developer [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], claiming he would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Unfortunately, Chris proved to be nothing more than a couch potato, and his ineptitude resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, "[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]" shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

<center>{{MiyamotoSaga}}</center>

===Julie Saga (''February - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg|500px]]

Arguably ''the'' most divisive and controversial out of Chris's trolls until the [[Idea Guys]]. In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a 13-year-old troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]] and then torture Chris in many ways in the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] chat, where he forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|shove it up the dumper]]. BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris, as well as his arguably abusive ways of trolling him, would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki. One other less disturbing yet no less fascinating incident that came about as a result of this Saga was the [[Ohio trip]]; taking place just a week before the infamous reveal, Chris was willing to drive hundreds of miles to Cleveland in the hopes of rescuing Julie from Max and Clyde Cash; needless to say, this has been the furthest he's driven for any Sweetheart, and since then Chris was unwilling to drive significantly shorter distances to meet later potential girlfriends such as [[Kacey]] and [[Jackie]] in the years that followed.

<center>{{JulieSaga}}</center>

===PS3 Hacking Saga (''March 3 2009 - 30 August 2010'')===
[[File:PS3HackingSaga.png|500px]]

After [[Bluespike]]'s vicious abuse of Chris, he was shunned, and kicked out of [[The Miscreants]]. However, many [[trolls]] took inspiration from him hacking into Chris's beloved [[PlayStation Network]] account, and used this as an inspiration for future trolling plans. On 22 [[May 2009]], [[Clyde Cash]] would fake his death and subsequently hack into Chris's PSN account, but he would get outplayed by a greater foe.

During [[July 2009]], [[Jack Thaddeus]] would work with his daughter [[Samantha Thaddeus]] in order to gain access to Chris's PSN Account. Jack made Chris do many things in order to get his account back, including making [[It's UGH!#Video|two]] [[It's UGH!#Remake|videos]] proclaiming his acceptance of [[Homos|gay people]], and a video of him [[Chris humps his PS3|humping his PS3 for 8 minutes straight]].

On 24 [[February 2010]], [[Surfshack Tito]] would hack into Chris's PSN account, and less than a month later he would [[The Wallflower|steal his girl]].

On 3 [[May 2010]], Chris would find [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|an article]] on the [[CWCki]], detailing how [[Clyde]] had placed a bugging device in his PS3, [[I Pimp My Ride|leading him to rip off the wifi antenna]]. On the same day, he would go undercover as a 14-year old troll named '[[JenkinsJinkies]]', where he would be invited to a secret trolling forum called [[Trollin Train]].

On the forum was a list of bounties, including a $9000 reward for anyone who could destroy Chris's PS3. Chris decided to claim the bounty, and recorded a video of him [[The MovingFoward videos|hitting it with a brick, running it over with his car, and then stabbing it with scissors]]. Unfortunately for him, [[Tito]] gave the reward to [[Liquid Chris]], under the belief he was the TRUE and HONEST CWC. And so Chris was left with no money and no PS3...until he bought a new one a few days later.

<center>{{PS3Saga}}</center>

===Emily Saga (''March 2009 - 4 October 2010'')===
[[Image:Emilysagaheader.jpeg|500px]]

A troll, known online as 'LoveYouLongTime' would start interacting with [[Chris]] after he broke up with [[Julie]], under the name '[[Emily]]'. They quickly starting dating, and would meet up [[Date with Emily|in a now infamous date]], where a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|man wearing a pickle costume]] would walk up and steal her away from him. She would later announce in a [[Hooker incident#Post-date call|phone call]] that she had broken up with Chris, had sex with the pickle man, and was living with [[Clyde Cash]].

She would continue interacting with Chris, under the name '[[Kim Wilson]]'. Despite Kim and Chris meeting up multiple times, he had no idea she was [[Emily]], due to his [[facial blindness]]. During her tenure as Kim, she would take Chris to a bar [[Chris's Big Night Out|two]] [[Chris's Big Night Out II|times]] and introduce him to [[Magical Man]]. She would continue talking with Chris all the way until [[2018]], though her last major interaction was when he told her [[PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!|that he spooned regularly]] with [[Barb]]

She's also met up with him pretending to be multiple other women, though none of these interactions are known.

<center>{{EmilySaga}}</center>

===Ivy Saga (''March - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg|500px]]

In March 2009, a girl named Ivy decided to impress a friend by asking Chris for a video shout-out. She didn't know what would come later; his crush towards her would lead him to create 3 special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga furthermore not only revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and Christorians, but also provided an incredibly important resource for the latter in showing Chris's [[Heart Level]] at perhaps the strongest it had been since 2007, at least for a time. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's (fabricated) suicide.

<center>{{IvySaga}}</center>

===Vanessa Saga (''April - May 2009'')===
[[Image:Vanessa Saga.png|500px]]

In [[April 2009]], troll and fellow [[James Madison University|speech therapy]] attendee [[Joshua Martinez]] succeeded in getting Chris to believe that the ''High School Musical'' actress and pop star [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was in contact with him, through Joshua's AIM, in retaliation for Chris's horrible attempt at getting [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] to [[Vanessa Saga#Email to Joshua|troll him]] like Chris, himself, had been trolled. Chris would create videos to show that he was movie-star material, going so far as to [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|cheat]] on his current [[troll|true and honest]] [[Ivy|sweetheart]]. Predictably, [[Chris and reality|he wasn't]] exactly the type Vanessa was looking for.

This [[Vanessa Saga|saga]] goes to show that even the most gullible of things can get by Chris, even when the perceived truth is a [[Weens|horrible]] [[Autism|excuse]] of ammunition against the poor manchild, which just shows how desperate he may be for [[Love Quest|romantic attention]].

<center>{{VanessaSaga}}</center>

===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg|500px]]

In early June 2009, Chris was given his own wiki to upload his comics and blog about his personal life, safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

After 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

<center>{{CWCipediaSaga}}</center>

===Liquid Chris Saga (''21 June - 10 November 2009'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg|500px]]

In July 2009, Chris came up with a plan to try getting the trolls off his back. He [[Rollin' and Trollin'|faked a revelation]] that he was apparently a troll himself who is the complete opposite of Chris in real life. Along then came the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, which got the other Chris (at this point nicknamed [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and Solid Chris) really pent up with rage. Ian would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, after a [[Kacey calls|long]] [[Father Call|series]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|of]] [[The End for Real|calls]] that proved Ian to be unworthy of her love, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July 2011.

<center>{{LiquidSaga}}</center>

===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 10 January 2012'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg|500px]]

In late November 2009, an artist named [[Alec Benson Leary]] started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fanfiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and his identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]]. This later turned out to be fake as months later, the ''real'' Christopher Paul Whitney made a response to Chris and essentially confirmed he was not Alec.

<center>{{AsperchuSaga}}</center>

===Tito Saga (''January 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg|500px]]

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with [[The Wallflower]], hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal... and release her name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the lulz spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|flashing his underwear while wearing a Scottish kilt]]. At the same time, Chris discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. To put it bluntly, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Tito was a major player in getting Chris to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3 for a fake bounty]]. Chris and Tito planned to meet up at a Starbucks where a [[pickleman]] would give him the money, but despite [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails#Waiting for $9001|waiting]] Tito would never show up. Tito later explained this was because he gave the money to [[Liquid Chris]]

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

<center>{{TitoSaga}}</center>

==Dark Ages (''20 March 2010 to 3 September 2014'')==

Though [[The Miscreants|the Miscreants]] could collectively keep Chris on edge for well over a year, it was perhaps inevitable that even the archetypical lolcow would someday cease to give milk. His seeking out the Wallflower and then Jackie in person, instead of believing every self-declared boyfriend-free girl who caught his fancy online, was an early sign of the changing atmosphere: Chris's ill-fated attempt to seduce her marked a shift from focusing on on-line to real-world affairs. Information on Chris's life would increasingly need to be sought through [[Flipnote Hatena]], in-person encounters and other sources beside the Internet; [[Chris and cinematography|traditional videos]] became less frequent. Occasional [[muscle bra|transvestitism]] would soon become [[tomgirl|permanent]] as Chris began to leave his old identity behind him. Surprisingly, Chris would come to abstain even from his traditional [[Love Quest|pursuit of women]] and put the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] on indefinite hiatus.

All sagas during this period are of this early transitional phase: [[Bob Chandler]]'s death in late [[2011]] drew a veil over Chris's affairs for the next several years. Direct records from Chris during this time are nearly exclusively found on [[Facebook]]; for a time, it appeared that Chris had learnt from his many years of abuse at the Internet's hands and was finally keeping a low profile. We are again dependent mostly on third-party sources for events such as [[28 October 2011|Snyder's near-death at Chris's hands]], the resulting [[Chris and the law|conviction]] and the [[2014 house fire]] in the following years. Organic CWC-generated activity would not re-emerge until mid-[[2014]], proving that he had, in fact, [[honor roll|learnt nothing]] from past events.

===First Exile (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===
[[File:Exile.jpg|500px]]

After Chris lost the Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No fewer than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that [[Chris and hypocrisy|they should go outside and live their lives]], advice Chris himself should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

During this period he started a relationship with a girl named [[Jacklyn Romy]], and infiltrated the [[Trollin Train|inner circle of trolls]] using his persona '[[JenkinsJinkies]]'.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down several times. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

<center>{{FirstExile}}</center>

===Jackie Saga (''5 April - 26 November 2010; 7 December 2010 - May 2012'')===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg|500px]]

Following the Wallflower incident's fallout, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party--[[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend--stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, leading many to believe that the Jackie saga had finished.

However, in [[December 2010|December]], Jackie and Chris were in contact again. This would not be known until 2013, where a whole bunch of emails from then to [[September 2011]] were leaked. During this time, Chris came out as a tomgirl to her, while she later got Chris to make a bunch of humiliating videos, including [[Cakefarts]]. These would be leaked in [[February 2012]], leading to Chris unfriending her on Facebook in [[April 2012|April]], though refriending her a month later. She was never heard from again, putting an end to the saga.

<center>{{JackieSaga}}</center>

===Calling Out Saga (''6 August - 6 September 2011'')===
[[Image:Call_Out.png|500px]]

During the beginning of [[August 2011|August]], Chris began to release videos as an attempt to get some sort of [[fangs|reprisal]] and [[Chris and his Ego|apology]] out of the [[trolls#The Few, the Proud, the Elite|trolls]]. Chris warned the trolls that if they didn't meet his [[Chris and negotiation#Calling Out|demands]] on the [[Stress|deadline]] Chris had set for them, then Chris would leak information [[Naïve|that he believed to be true]], even though most believe some of the information to be [[Kimmi|fake]]. This saga is notable for [[Calling Out#Summary|videos]] that showcase Chris's new [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] look, and further set in stone the aformentioned [[Tomgirl Saga]]. Though Chris reached the zenith of the Calling Out Saga on a high, having believed himself to have exiled some of his most prominent rivals from the internet, these series of videos would, however, come to an abrupt [[September 2011#Events|end]] after [[Chris and death#Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. (1927–2011)|tragedy struck the Chandler household]].

<center>{{CallingOutSaga}}</center>

===Second Exile (''6 September 2011 - 9 July 2014'')===
[[File:CWC Exile II Banner.png|500px]]

Unlike the other exiles listed here, the Second CWC Exile came unannounced with the death of his [[Bob Chandler|father]]. Then came [[28 October 2011|October 28]], a day which will live in infamy for Chris. After trespassing and running over [[Michael Snyder]], he and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] were arrested. Despite the help of [[Rob Bell]], they were found guilty and were sentenced. Since that day, most, if not all of Chris's internet activity were confined to his [[Facebook]] account, where he would gripe about loneliness and nostalgia. It wasn't until 2013 where he uploaded a new video. Although [[January 2014]] would bring him back to the spotlight briefly due to [[2014 house fire|a house fire]], it wasn't until the Sonic Boom saga where he would return to relevance.
{{SecondExile}}

==Renaissance (''3 September 2014 to 24 October 2017'')==

A combination of events - namely yet another failed online sweetheart, and showing hatred for a ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' reboot so immense that it would eventually get him arrested - would lead to Chris being dragged back into the Internet spotlight.

===Catherine Saga (''9 July - 14 December 2014'')===
[[File:catherinesaga.png|500px]]

With his newly acquired feminine wiles from his transition to a Tomgirl, Chris managed to attract a sweetheart who would be his first lesbian romance. In the summer of 2014, Chris would reveal he had found a new sweetheart, whose identity he managed to surprisingly conceal for period of time. Later, he would [[I Love You, Catherine|reveal]] that her name was Catherine. Predictably, she turned out to be a troll, who revealed much about Chris having met with him twice. Catherine's associate, [[Cousin Al]], would also meet the two of them at Applebee's, to which Chris would invite both of them to the charred remains of his house following a fire. From there, Al would collect several of Chris's old Manchester High assignments.

According to Catherine, his [[Catherine#The Date|behavior had not improved]] since the sexual harassment in the early days of the Megan Saga, and neither had the Chandlers's [[Rental House|comprehension of basic sanitation]]. In addition to Catherine's observation on her personal encounters, Chris also announced he had got a piercing on his [[Un-clit|perineum]], meaning this Saga provides some more detail on Chris's disturbing new features as a Tomgirl.

<center>{{CatherineSaga}}</center>

===Sonic Boom Saga (''3 September 2014 - 7 December 2015'')===
[[Image:SonicBoomSagaBanner.png|500px]]

This Saga began with Chris grumbling on [[Facebook]] about the announcement of the latest [[Sonic]] game, ''[[Sonic Boom]]''. Chris wasn't alone in his discontent; many of his Facebook friends expressed disapproval about the deteriorating quality of the Sonic games. What made Chris unique in his irritation, is that the fact that Chris only took umbrage at the fact that the color of Sonic's arms had been changed from tan to blue.

This baffled most of his white knights, with [[William Elliott Waterman]] trying to explain just how ludicrous Chris's demands to Sega to revert back to blue were, especially considering ''Sonic Boom'' was not part of the ''Sonic'' canon. The fact that Sega had no control in the design of Sonic's arms did not deter him and, thanks to his white knights who unwaveringly encouraged him, he began to protest. Initially, his protest against the "Blue-Armed Bandit" took the form of Facebook boycott groups, petitions, and [[Death Threats|angry messages]] on Sega Facebook pages.

On [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]], however, this Saga came into bloom, culminating in Chris's second pending court case. Despite warnings from even his most loyal white knights, Chris had decided to take it upon himself to bring the protest into the real world. He went into his local GameStops and vandalized the display cases, including stores he had [[List of places that have banned Chris|previously been banned from]]. It was during his visit to one of these stores that had banned Chris that resulted in his arrest on Boxing Day. Chris had been seen and asked to leave by the [[manajerks|management]]. After initially ignoring their requests he made his way towards the exit and, whilst on the way out, maced an employee, who hadn't been involved in his removal. As a result, Chris spent the weekend in jail, only to have Barb bail him out afterwards.

Despite this, he continues to go on a tard rage over Sonic's blue arms, calling out Kengle because he owns a ''comic'' with blue-armed Sonic, sending glitterbombs to Sega, and buying a Sonic Boom doll just to rip its arms off.

Later though, Chris claims victory in the blue arms debacle, due to Sonic the Hedgehog being his non-blue-armed form in ''Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games''. He says this is the final update for the group, but only time will tell if he's telling the truth.

Ultimately, after six days in court, Chris was found guilty on 15 October 2015 for the GameStop incident and was fined $541 along with a 180-day probation. Thus, the Blue Arms Saga ends (or has it?). Months later, Chris instructed his fanbase to [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers|boycott]] local stores which refused his request to be unbanned.

<center>{{SonicBoomSaga}}</center>

===Lady Managers Saga (17 November 2015 - July 2016)===
[[File:LadyManagersSaga.png|500px]]

Between fall 2015 and summer 2016, Chris was in contact with people he vaguelly dubbed his ladyfriends or managers. During this time, he would be trolled by various characters - [[Jeff/Francine]] Ouzos, a thinly-disguised parody and wealthy rival of Chris; [[Sam and Ellen]], a lesbian couple considering Chris as a sperm donor, to whom he showed off his [[Chris's Specimen Sample|frozen sperm collection]]; and [[Johan]], the catalyst for the [[Lesbian Sex Audition]].

This saga saw the return of Chris uploading videos to YouTube after a years-long hiatus.

<center>{{LadySaga}}</center>

===Pmurt Saga (25 September 2016 - 20 January 2017)===
[[File:Pmurt Saga.png|500px]]

The saga started with a [[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote|Facebook comment on 25 September]] in where he decried then Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for his anti-LGBTQ opinions and misogynistic attitudes, labeling him "Pmurt" in an attempt to spite him. Many found this comment surprising, as Chris has been historically neutral in politics. As the election drew closer, Chris continued to criticize Trump, seemingly oblivious to the irony that any negative trait he could levy was far more applicable to himself. This saga reached its peak when Trump was elected president. During this point, he would make [[Pmurt#2016|death threats to him]]. This culminated in a one-week ban from Facebook.

On Inauguration day, Chris would make [[The United States of America has NO President or Vice President, Whatsoever|one last attack]]. Although Chris still holds negative opinions of Pmurt, he is not nearly as expressive with his vitriol as he was during this saga. Even when Trump was impeached, Chris gave no thoughts on it.

<center>{{PmurtSaga}}</center>

===Doopie Saga (''7 March - 26 September 2017'')===
[[File:DoopieSaga.png|500px]]

Also coined by the [[Kiwi Farms]], this saga began when Chris [[March 2017 tweets#Empathizing with BPD|made a tweet]] empathizing with ''Planet Dolan'' animator and artist [https://www.youtube.com/user/DoopieDoOver DoopieDoOver]. He began frequently replying to her tweets, usually with small talk and the occasional sharing of a life experience, or shameless attempts at flirting. The saga's climax began on 1 August, when Chris pledged to Doopie's alternative Patreon account, "Kittenbell", which handles pornographic commissions. The same day, Chris listed her among his [[Gal pals]] on "National Girlfriend Day", only for her to promptly rebuke him.
Afterward, Doopie tweeted about the harassment she was receiving (from Chris), went to the Kiwi Farms, and leaked his private e-mails to her business account. Chris discovered that Doopie had turned on him and desperately followed several of Doopie's friends (including her [[JERKS|boyfriend]]) in an attempt to stay connected. However, he unfollowed most of them when it became clear his plan would not work, while the rest blocked him themselves.

Doopie has not contacted Chris since August 2017; his hopes of building her into a [[sweetheart]] or [[gal pal]] from the ground up, predictably, were in vain. By September, Chris had found a new sweetheart and moved on. Their interactions showed that Chris's immense [[Chris and socialization|social ineptitude]] and creepy behavior have not abated. Doopie inadvertently became the greatest [[Trolls|troll]] Chris faced in many years, [[Heart level|breaking his heart]] and feeding new information to Christorians.

<center>{{DoopieSaga}}</center>

===Quinn Saga (''7 September - 18 October 2017'')===
[[File:Quinn Saga.png|500px]]

Jessica Quinn, for years a [[white knight]] of Chris, suddenly decided to troll him with the tried-and-true method of [[Sweetheart|pretending to fall in love with him]]. Highlights of the brief saga include pictures and videos of Chris crying over a short breakup, an old-fashioned [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|rage video]] following their final breakup (which he initially blamed on hackers from [[Kiwi Farms]]), and Quinn manipulating Chris into adding fat fetishism to ''Sonichu''. This saga would serve as the transition for the new wave of trolling yet to come for Chris.

<center>{{QuinnSaga}}</center>

==Transcendental Awakening (''August 2017 to 30 July 2021'')==

After a period of reemergence from Chris, several trolls soon began to notice Chris's deteriorating mental state, and found it the perfect opportunity to troll him again, this time through the tactic of [[enablers|enabling]] his beliefs and brainwashing new ridiculous concepts into him. This all began with [[Joshua Wise]], an anime-obsessed troll who greatly manipulated him for his own personal gain by changing major parts of the canon of his Sonichu comics, coercing him into producing strange videos, and proposing the [[Polyamorous marriage|infamous marriage]] between Chris and a bunch of fictional characters, half of which Chris had already created.

Chris's new motto to [[Chris and kindness|befriend everyone he meets]], even complete strangers, has also made it much easier to manipulate him. Because of this, many other trolls began to follow suit, using some of the same tactics that Wise had used to manipulate Chris with, with very little questioning on his end. Since then, Chris has started to believe himself to be the goddess of an alternate dimension, dubbing himself and all other residents of said dimension as "[[OCs]]".

===Idea Guys Saga (''25 October 2017 - 29 April 2018'')===
[[Image:Ideaguysaga image.png|500px]]

In early November 2017, Chris began blurting out nonsensical stories about [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]], such as the characters of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] invading [[CWCville]], CWCville reacting to the invasion by setting up [[Operation BARBarossa|concentration camps]], and Vladimir Putin being president of the United States in another dimension. He also began making strange videos involving Internet memes and cultural and historical references he clearly did not understand.

It came to light that an anonymous troll, acting as Chris's "idea guy", noted Chris's difficulty distinguishing [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]] and lack of understanding of history and politics, and began convincing Chris to make bizarre or politically incorrect content. There are signs that the Idea Guy's influence was coercive or deceptive in nature, such as Chris being [[Chris and hypocrisy|shocked]] at his suggestion that Rosechu was [[Homos#Transgenderism|transgender]], and appearing visibly uncomfortable as he performed an "[[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] [[Cherokee|Cherokean]] chant".

After a calm period in early January, the saga escalated again as Chris made [[Smashing|two]] [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis|bizarre]] videos of ranting about Nazis and smashing his possessions. Possibly as a response, moderators at [[Kiwi Farms]] doxed the Idea Guy troll, revealing his name as Joshua Wise.

Despite that setback, Wise decided to continue being the Idea Guy. His changes to ''Sonichu'' remained canon, with Chris continuing to produce drawings using ideas which Wise had established prior to the dox, and Chris continued to proudly wear the [[Chris and fashion#Gopnik outfit|Gopnik outfit]] which Wise first convinced him to don.

Chris subsequently announced that he was bisexual, and was attracted to [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his own fursona]] and said he had gotten married to [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]]. More questionable acts such as Chris [[Dick Licker; that is I|licking pictures of Magi-chan's penis drawn on a wall]] and prostituting himself on Twitter were scripted and executed.

In May 2018, [[The Captain]] discovered what the Idea Guys were doing and rescued Chris from the Idea Guys. He, along with [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]] and [[Null]], then gathered evidence to submit to law enforcement. As for Chris, he disavowed some ideas given to him by the Idea Guys (though keeping the majority of them, like his make-believe marriage).

<center>{{IdeaGuySaga}}</center>

===Prequel Comic Saga (''2 January 2018 - 14 May 2018'')===
[[File:PrequelComicSaga.png|500px]]

On 2 January 2018, the graphic designer and comic creator [[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan Shickley]] would get the attention of Chris after he had created "Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic". Bryan then soon claimed that he would make merchandise off of the francise, to which Chris approved. During a time when Chris was in financial ruin, which was later worsened after the Idea Guys extorted money from him, the comic, along with the merchandise created by Bryan, would become some of the first things that Chris would promote to help him out of his dire financial situation.

Bryan's comic would also get Chris to reflect on some of his biggest blunders, including SheCameForCWC.jpg, him attemping to run over Michael Snyder, and others.

A highlight of the brief saga includes Chris approaching what appeared to be his first male sweetheart, Bryan himself, as a result of the Idea Guys previously brainwashing him into believing he was bisexual, even writing an erotic gay poem for him. Attempts were made by Bryan's girlfriend to keep Chris away from Bryan. Along with this, gal-pal Tings Tingz would also show feelings for Bryan.

Due to his associations with Chris during the midst of the Idea Guys, Bryan would be accused by onlookers as a possible troll and/or ween, as well as getting attacked by actual weens himself.

<center>{{PrequelComicSaga}}</center>

===Guard Dogs (''Summer 2018'')===
[[Image:Guard Dogs Banner.png|500px]]

After the events of the Idea Guys saga, it became clear that Chris was dealing with a [[ween]] epidemic. To combat this, the [[Guard Dogs]] decided to step in and filter Chris's emails and Twitter to prevent trolls from getting through. Null made a thread on Kiwi Farms showing off the intercepted ween messages and even doxing the senders.

Null and The Captain would also attempt to give Chris advice. In particular, Null encouraged him to talk to his therapist about the Idea Guys, in order to fast-track law enforcement involvement, but Chris was reluctant to do so. Instead, Chris opted to retreat into the ruins of his fantasy world.

The Guard Dogs have since disbanded.

<center>{{GuardDogSaga}}</center>

===Teen Troon Squad Saga (''24 April 2018 - 1 January 2019'')===
[[Image:TTS Saga2.png|500px]]
{{main|Lukas, Devil and Eva}}

Lukas, Devil and Eva is a former group of teenagers who lived locally to Chris. They gained influence over Chris upon Lukas purchasing his porn artwork on [[eBay]] for $1,000 in [[April 2018]].

After the [[Guard Dogs]] had separated Chris from the [[Idea Guys]] in [[April 2018]], he continued to hold onto the beliefs they had programmed into him. Although he was encouraged to seek [[Chris and psychology|therapy]], Chris balked at the idea and instead sought out more people to feed his delusional thinking - and got his wish with Lukas, Devil and Eva's group; around October of that same year, for the second time in 2018, Chris was enabled by people claiming to be his own fictional characters when they invited Chris over to Lukas's house.

In October 2018 Chris began outlining a supposed 'Dimensional Merge' that would take place at the end of 2018, in which the [[Reality Cartoon|real world]], aka Dimension 1218, and its sister dimension, C197, were to collide and combine in an event of supposedly-apocalyptic proportions. Lukas has alleged that this was a holdover from the Idea Guys, but implied that the group encouraged these beliefs in Chris.

The group also trolled Chris by [[2018 Twitter account compromise|logging into his Twitter account and making several inflammatory posts]] claiming to be from him, including leaking several previously unreleased Idea Guys-era videos, such as [[All Star]], [[Tour of Chris's House III]], [[Chris slaps himself]], and [[Chris lost Crystal]] onto Chris's Twitter.

In late [[December 2018]], Lukas was doxed by [[Marvin]], who secretly logged into Chris's Twitter, after he and [[The Captain]] found that Lukas's group was making Chris believe in the Merge. Lukas then leaked more documents from Chris on /cow/. On 30 December 2018, Chris wrote a Twitter post bashing Lukas, also mentioning that Lukas had wanted him to buy [[alcohol|booze]]. Lukas, Devil and Eva have since separated from Chris.

<center>{{TTSSaga}}</center>



===GOPony Saga (''13 August 2018 - November 2024'')===
[[File:GOPONY.png|500px]]

As the [[2010s]] came to a close, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was clearly entering its last days. Since its target audience is school aged children it's a common practice by the more competent animation studios to end those shows before it gets to the point that the kids watching it are younger than the show itself. Afterwards, if said show was part of a franchise, they create a new installment for said franchise. Such a cycle has been happening in My Little Pony since its inception in 1984 and has happened once again. Friendship is Magic ended in [[2019]] with a more light-hearted filler series airing from [[2020]] as a way to tide over the fanbase until the premiere of the new generation, which happened in [[September 2021]] with the release of a movie. The filler series, called MLP: Pony Life struck a major nerve with Chris who holds the belief that Friendship is Magic is meant to have 14 seasons due to delusions rooted in the [[Dimensional Merge]]. This instance, preceded in [[August 2018]] by a panning of the leaked early designs for the G5 ponies were some of the occasional posts of disapproval throughout the close of the decade. For a while it was on Chris's back burner but on 27 [[July 2021]] Chris uploaded a tard rage video demanding that the new My Little Pony generation be cancelled, confirming that Chris holds Sonic Boom-esque feelings towards this. The lulz were subsequently cancelled when Chris admitted to incest.

However, despite his incarceration, this hasn't stopped him from expressing nothing but hatred towards this reboot. Chris had expressed in numberous jail letters about how he believes the reboot has caused major world catastrophes such as the Russo-Ukrainian war, fully returning to this sentiment in 2024.

<center>{{GOPonySaga}}</center>

===Jacob Saga (''14 July - 28 November 2019; 15 July - 26 August 2020'')===
[[File:Jacob Saga.png|500px]]

Though he had been [[autism|autistically]] obsessed with Chris since around 2018, amateur sorcerer Jacob Sockness only made Chris's acquaintance in [[June 2019]], after an unremarkable troll convinced Chris that Sockness would be interested in buying his filthy bathwater. On 14 [[July 2019]], the two agreed to a closer partnership: Sockness would act as a middleman for Chris's [[2019 Sales Listings|merchandise]], in order to evade Chris's [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|eBay ban]]. The two would soon abandon this scheme, however, instead deciding to direct their attention to another of their shared interests; [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|pretending to be gods]]. Their mystical and occultist schemes would cross-pollinate, Jacob's extraterrestrial demons wending their way into the [[Dimensional Merge]]'s logistics. The most notable example being the [[Spirit possession#Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan possession]], in which from [[August 2019]] to [[September 2019]], Chris believed that he swapped minds with [[Magi-Chan]] in order to visit [[Jacob Sockness]] so he wouldn't need to actually do so in real life. The period of Magi-Chan roleplaying lasted an entire month. Jacob's antics with Chris was not ignored, as soon, [[Kiwi Farms|onlookers]] would find out about Jacob and dox him, but Sockness would not be deterred by a mere dox; for he had apparently already doxed himself long before meeting Chris, and would boast freely and frequently about how he was misleading Chris for his own ends. [[Slow-in-the-minds|Despite the obvious dangers]], Chris continued to believe Jacob's teachings [[honor roll|at face value]], and encouraged his desire to meet in person. In late [[September 2019]], the situation nearly reached a boiling point when Sockness announced that he had secured a train ticket and was traveling from his home in California to [[Charlottesville]], and threatened that he would [[rape|brutally abuse]] Chris after arriving at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Being understandably alarmed by this, Chris [[Chris and negotiation|demanded]] that Sockness return, and with the help of the [[Watchmen]], arranged for a [[white knight|supporter]] to intercept Sockness in Chicago and provide for him to return to San Francisco. Jacob relented, and the two grew more distant. Sockness would temporarily return to Chris's good side in late [[October 2019]] and early [[November 2019]], yet by the end of that month he would once again be cast aside by Chris.

However, in early 2020, Chris once again started to talk to Jacob, believing in Jacob's supposed [[Magical thinking|occult practices]]. Though it appeared that they were coming close to one another again, Chris's and Sockness's relationship would permanently come to an end in [[August 2020]], after Sockness creepily theorized on [[Twitter]] that [[Mia Hamm]] supposedly bared Chris's illegitimate child after they had sex. Although Jacob would make several other attempts to win Chris's favor over the course of the next few months, all attempts would ultimately be unsuccessful.

<center>{{JacobSaga}}</center>

==Rise-N-Fall (''Mid 2018 - 31 July 2021'')==

Chris was heavily active on social media, began creating custom [[Secret Shipfic]] cards, and took his role-playing to new heights, including pretending to be possessed by Sonichu for nearly a year.

In late 2019, a group consisting of [[enablers]] and [[white knights]] was established through [[Discord]]. They gained Chris's trust by appealing to and indulging in his delusions, specifically ones related to the [[Dimensional Merge]] and [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddesses]]. They eventually named themselves the [[Watchmen]].

In late 2020, a group called [[Praetor]] formed to do business with Chris.

In mid-2021, Chris began making plans to attend [[Everfree Northwest]] with [[Null]]'s fundraising help.

However, in 2021, Chris's dormant interest in sex started to stir, with disastrous results when, in [[June 2021]], he began engaging in [[Affair with Mother|sexual activity with his own mother]].

===Copitz Saga (''19 May 2018 - December 2019'')===
[[File:CopitzHeader.jpeg|500px]]

On 19 May 2018, the Youtube speedrunner and Twitch user [[Copitz]] had began visiting [[14 Branchland Court]] to record videos of himself with Chris and his friends in several different areas. Some of these videos included ones where Chris was in an abandoned hospital hunting for ghosts, while others had involved several interviews with him.

Copitz would get contacted by [[TheGamerFromMars]], who wanted to get in contact with Chris for his documentary series, [[The Chris Chan Conspiracy]]. Throughout the documentary, there are 8 scenes of Copitz and GFM talking with Chris, in between the meat of the episode, which is a summary of Chris's life. Despite meeting with Chris in [[December 2019]], the documentary would only be released on [[March 2022]].

{{CopitzSaga}}

===TF2 Analysis Saga (''Late 2018 - 30 October 2020'')===
[[File:SoftExileBanner.png|500px]]

In [[January 2019]], a slew of people began to block Chris on Twitter, either due to his own harassment or egging on by weens. This caused Chris, naturally, to rage about it, and eventually to protect his Twitter account. For months, he had shown no signs of budging. All of his tweets during this period consisted of complaining about being blocked, or else his dimensional delusions mentioned above. After protecting his Twitter account, he would greatly reduce his social media activity, and in [[June 2019]] even extended to disabling comments again on his [[June 2019 videos|recent videos]]. This period of time also marked Chris's bizarre adoption of the word "[[My Little Pony|Bugbear]]" (a phrase referring to minor annoyances) and employing it almost everywhere in his wild and unclear rants. After several months, Chris's initial bitterness from the blocks seems to have faded, and he opened his Twitter account for the public again.

<center>{{SoftExileSaga}}</center>

===Arbitarch Saga (''27 December 2018 - Late January 2020'')===

Sometime on December 2018, the fan [[MKRNightVee]] got into contact with Chris via a phone number a friend gave her. During her interactions with Chris, she played into the recent fantasies Chris had about [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]], roleplaying as the CPU Goddess of the Nintendo Switch CPU Magenta Heart under the guidance of Ryan Winger, aka [[Owls]].

The Arbitarch CWC Alliance was a pre-cursor to what would eventually become the Watchmen, as many of its would-be members such as AquaDiamond8 and Kyle were also associates of MKR, and the group served a similar, albeit less pragmatic purpose. The group started as a clique of enablers that role-played as CPU Goddesses to try and convince Chris that the Dimensional Merge wasn't going to happen.

<center>{{ArbitarchSaga}}</center>

===Secret Shipfic Saga (''16 August 2019 - 31 July 2021'')===


On 16 August, 2019, Chris began to create trading cards for his Sonichu comics, much like his [[Wall of Originals]] using a template from the My Little Pony parody game ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]''. His most ambitious project in several years, Chris fully embraced the concept, and has seemingly supplanted the ''Sonichu'' comics in favour of the cards as his principal monetary venture. The card game also became Chris's primary means to expand upon the lore of the fantasy world that he has created, and that several trolls from before had provided influence onto. Chris had posted several cards featuring the OCs created by fans and enablers.

Chris was able to develop a new fanbase through a series of commissions, and implementing people's [[OCs]] into his canon.

<center>{{ShipficSaga}}</center>

===Watchmen Saga (''September 2019 - 27 June 2021'')===

The Watchmen, made up of many of the former members of the Arbitarch CWC Alliance, were a clique of friends, all with the same interest in white-knighting Chris, and keeping him away from the new slew of weens and enablers that came about from Chris's newfound fame. The most well-known iteration of this group, as well as the one most often referred to as "the Watchmen", came about with the creation of [[The Place]] Discord server, which was run by the enabler [[Naught]].

Chris became close friends with the people in the server, and the Watchmen would gatekeep Chris through means of collecting information, doxing, and harassing anybody attempting to interact or get involved with Chris. The existence of the Watchmen was not publicly known until [[August 2020]], in which they leaked content that they had received from Chris.

The Watchmen would be responsible for and or related to many notable events that took place throughout 2020 and early 2021. Such as removing [[Jacob Sockness]]'s influence over Chris, the previously mentioned [[2020 Discord leaks]], being heavily involved in the [[Discord Q&A]]'s, and starting multiple conflicts with members of [[Praetor]].

<center>{{WatchmenSaga}}</center>

===Ben Saint Saga (''29 September 2019 - November 2019'')===

[[Ben Saint]], a webcomic artist and creator of the webseires ''Endless War'', had tried to profit off of Chris's infamy by implementing characters from the comic into Sonichu, thereby creating the "Slime Saga". Chris had eventually implemented Ben's characters and ideas into Sonichu in [[Sonichu Special 7]]. However, Ben's attempts at creating a new saga from the ground-up, and promoting his comic, by tinkering with Chris's own comics only proved to be of a very limited success when Chris began ignoring Saint's attempts at provocation by mid-October, and when conflicts of interest had risen between the two creators. Following from this, several white knights and past enablers such as [[Jacob Sockness]] and [[MKRNightVee]] came into the scene in order to regain power over Chris or to justify Chris's actions. When Chris began shifting his focus on his Sonichu comics to the aforementioned card game, Chris had implemented Saint's characters, as well as ideas brought to him by drama surrounding him, and a new wave of [[white knights]] defending Chris's actions, [[enablers]] suggesting new OCs into Chris's now expanding universe, and [[weens|wannabe trolls]] trying to take a piece of Chris's infamy for themselves would show up into the mix.

{{SaintSaga}}

===ProjectSNT Saga (''6 December 2019 - January 2021'')===

The YouTuber ProjectSNT became famous due to her videos involving her revisiting her Sonic OC, S.N.T. Among SNT's artworks was a redesign for the character [[Wild Sonichu]], which she named "Wild Sonirisu", which was a combination of Wild and the Pokémon Pachirisu. Though Chris originally took SNT's redesign kindly, viewing this as evidence of SNT's tenacity, he became enraged with SNT criticizing his Sonichu and Rosechu designs. This seemingly caused Chris to change his tone with Wild Sonirisu, expressing great disapproval with SNT's art. This would lead to Chris becoming utterly obsessed with SNT, with him trying again and again to make SNT respond to his comments but to no avail.

Things had only gotten worse when Chris had taken note of the fanfiction writer [[Opuscon789]], who created the fanfic ''[[SNT Vs Sonichu]]''. Chris livestreamed his reading of the fanfic, where Chris tard raged over it many times and weens sent pizzas over to his house. Chris similarly expressed his hatred towards Opuscon many times with the Watchmen.

{{SNTSaga}}

===Chandler's List Saga (''2 June 2020 - 8 July 2020'')===

On 2 June 2020, Chris, still role-playing as Sonichu, announced on Twitter that he had been sick and tired of all the years of trolling and exploitation he had experienced. Chris decided that to combat all of this, he'd create a list of all of the people that had personally bothered him over the past decade, threatening that they'd be subject to judgment amongst the gods and goddesses. Chris later began posting his list a week later and continued posting it in pieces for the following month. This stunt was ultimately met with confusion, and arguably brought more attention onto himself than he otherwise might have, especially given how he put prominent content creators like [[OneyNG]] and psychicpebble, two figures who have commented on Chris several times, on this list.

{{ListSaga}}

===Lainchu Saga (''4 August 2020 - 18 March 2021'')===
Lainchu the Chronicler, based on the protagonist of the anime ''Serial Experiments Lain'', was created by Chris and introduced to Naught on 4 August 2020. The character was then repurposed by the Watchmen as a means of communicating with Chris and documenting select posts of his on The Place server and other platforms. Much of the information collected by the character was then documented onto the CWCki. Naught was the first to roleplay the character until handing the role over to Klop on 7 August 2020.

A month prior to this, the Watchman [[Klop]] created the Official CWCki Discord server, and set it up in such a way that if Chris were to get in, he'd only be relegated to one channel, and only those with a certain role could access said channel and communicate with him. However, when Chris joined the server on 10 August 2020 by Naught's invitation, his mere presence only led to an influx of new users, many of which contacted Chris for various purposes. Due to all the chaos that ensued, Klop created a new server called "cwc frens", and banned Chris from the CWCki server. In the new server, there was a "mailbag" channel similar to the [[Mailbag]] from the [[Cwcipedia]].

{{LainchuSaga}}

===Crystalgate Saga (''22 September 2020 - 30 June 2021'')===
After Chris introduced [[Praetor]] to the [[Watchmen]], the Watchmen became increasingly paranoid over Praetor and began to harass its members. The harassment was most infamously seen in an incident, dubbed Crystalgate, in which Chris wanted to borrow a [[taser]] from Praetor for his experiment to taze his quartz crystals to unlock the [[Dimensional Merge]]. Concerned over Chris's safety, Watchmen members confronted Praetor leader Caden Peck. Some Watchmen, [[MKRNightVee]] and [[Naught]], saw this as the perfect opportunity to defame Praetor and lied to the public about the taser, in a failed attempt to force Praetor away. Afterwards, Chris confronted the Watchmen for their handling of the situation. Several of the Watchmen, but especially three members, which Chris dubbed the "toxic trio", viewed this as more initiative to defeat Praetor, and a slew of infighting and drama subsequently occurred between the Watchmen.

<center>{{CrystalgateSaga}}</center>

===KwaiiSandbag Saga (''10 February 2021 - 29 March 2021'')===

After watching Geno Samuel's documentary about Chris, a Discord user under the alias "KwaiiSandbag" decided that he wanted to help Chris by helping him let go of some of his maladaptive coping methods, particularly him roleplaying as Sonichu. To do this, he presented himself to Chris in Instagram DMs as a "psychic", having these abilities since he was 10 years old, and he was involved in a series of five calls involving him, Chris, and a friend of his "[[Lily]]". Kwaii was able to succeed in this endeavor, but he also expressed remorse for his actions after getting flak for this. He was then interviewed by the by-then former Watchman [[Anaxis]], who at the time was the current owner of the CWCki server, to explain his intentions.

This saga is notable for giving insight on what was going through Chris's mind while he was roleplaying as the character. During his roleplay as Sonichu, Chris believed that he was able to have sex with his imaginary spouses, fulfilling Chris's longing for a "relationship". The saga is also noted for the fact that it had seemingly proven that even with influential white knight groups such as the Watchmen, people could still find ways to interact with Chris and troll or enable him.

{{KwaiiSaga}}

===Warhol Saga (''24 May 2021 - 19 September 2021'')===
[[File:WarholHeader.jpg|500px]]

In May 2021 Chris discovered an Amazon listing for a book made by Don Lashomb that favorably compared him to mid-century pop artist Andy Warhol. Naturally this inflated his ego and caused him to devote several tweets to said comparison. Don Lashomb would actually end up writing the book, and selling it on Amazon. Later Chris went on to begin reviewing the book and made [[Warhol Tweets|Tweets]] featuring his takes on the weens compliments, despite his disapproval at Lashomb saying his [[Chris and Reality|delusions weren't real]]. Chris would make several periodic tweets throughout summer 2021, reviewing the book as he went along.

Chris and Don talked in private multiple times, and Lashomb would state that he was very pleasant to talk to, due to him supposedly being polite, able to take criticism, and paying attention to detail<ref>[[Warhol / Chris Chan#Lashomb's Interactions with Chris]]</ref>. Don was one of the people Chris would drop hints to about his [[Affair with Mother|incestous relationship]] with [[Barb]], though he didn't pick up on them. Despite Lashomb cutting ties with Chris, Chris would continue to promote the book in jail.

<center>{{WarholSaga}}</center>

===The Knights Saga (''21 June 2021 - 1 August 2021'')===
This saga marks the crumbling of the Watchmen and their influence. After cutting ties with the other Watchmen, the WCT created a splinter of the Watchmen, which he named the "Knights of CWC" sometime in late June of that year. After convincing Chris to do the same, he also joined the Knights. The Knights server was set up in a very similar fashion to The Place, with one layer being for Chris and "untrusted guests", and another being for the Knights.

On 12 July 2021, The WCT alerted Chris of [[Jacob Sockness]]' plan to come to Everfree in disguise, which prompted Chris to try and find people he could recruit to attend with him, protecting him from Sockness, and taking photos of him while at the event. He invited several of his acquaintances to come there, including [[MKRNightVee]], who declined to come due to time restraints. The two people he ultimately picked to attend were [[Bella]], whom he's known for several months up to that point, and [[Fiona]], a young woman who had a genuine crush on him whom he met sometime in July. Chris invited both Bella and Fiona into the server a week later, and The WCT marked both of them as "untrusted guests". Both of them interacted with the Knights, and Bella and Fiona would also befriend each other, with the former inviting the latter into their own Discord server.

<center>{{EverfreeSaga}}</center>

===Incest Saga (''26 June 2021 - 30 July 2021'')===
[[File:IncestSagaBanner.png|600px]]

During the beginning of 2021, Chris suddenly exhibited intense [[Lonely feelings|signs of sexual frustration]], to the point of openly discussing this with several [[Watchmen]] members, as well as crushing on [[MKRNightVee|several]] [[Annie Ikenberry|females]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|of]] [[Fiona|interest]] all at once, and having wet dreams involving cartoon characters.<ref>[[The Place chats (February 2021)#Sally Acorn Dream]]</ref><ref>[[MKR DMs#Chris Thorndyke sex dream]]</ref> Towards the end of June, Chris grew impatient and decided to release this sexual frustration by having sexual relations with [[Barbara Chandler]], his own mother. [[Affair with Mother|Chris and Barbara did this over the span of one month every three days.]]

During that timespan, Chris hinted at this affair to multiple trusted people orbiting him, such as [[Null]] on 5 [[July 2021]] and [[Bella]] on 13 July. Chris sustained a misleading cover story to them, referring to Barbara using vague phrases such as a "Sweetheart over 50" and "lady friend". He also lied outright when asked if Barbara had met the sweetheart.

On the 27th, Chris chose to brag about the true identity of the sweetheart to Bella during a [[Incest Call|4-hour video call]] and also wrote [[Incest Texts|texts on the matter]]. Bella secretly recorded parts of the call and shared the files among her friends, and those were ultimately leaked days later in the early morning hours around midnight of 30 July.

On 30 July 2021, Greene County police were contacted and Chris was removed from Barbara's property [[14 Branchland Court]] in which he had also lived, and Barbara was taken to a hospital for a checkup. An [[Emergency Protective Order]] was also taken out against Chris, forbidding him from contacting Barbara or setting foot on her property for a week.

<center>{{IncestSaga}}</center>

==Silent Years (''1 August 2021 - 16 October 2023'')==

After enjoying nearly 14 years of being an infamous internet celebrity with a cult following, Chris's notability rose as his reputation plummeted. His name trended on Twitter as local news picked up on his largest controversy yet, accompanied by many major shifts in Chris's life.

===Jail Saga (''1 August 2021 - 27 March 2023'')===
[[File:Jail Saga Banner.png|600px]]

Continuing the fallout from the [[Affair with Mother]], on 1 [[August 2021]], Chris [[Incest Arrest|was arrested]] at the [[Regency Inn Richmond]] he was staying at, and the next day he was officially charged with one count of felony incest. By the end of the month, it was discovered that [[Barbara]] had returned home, and that the Chandlers' car had been returned to her, with new license plates replacing the SONICHU plates stolen off of it. Meanwhile, Chris was being held in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] without bond.

This saga is notable for the [[jail letters]], a series of letters Chris has written to fans and wannabe trolls alike, answering their questions and providing a stream of information about his current delusions and stay in jail. A vast majority of these letters would be Chris's ramblings of being a messianic figure, as well as being a reincarnation of [[Jesus Christ]]. Chris also kept a journal he dubbed the [[Goddess Log]].

On 28 February 2022, Chris was transferred and committed into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution in Staunton, Virginia (formerly known as the Western State Lunatic Asylum) for a competency evaluation before his next hearing.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref> During his stay, Chris was allegedly [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pinned down]] by the orderlies on his last day in the facility.

Chris was eventually transferred back to the Central Virginia Regional Jail on 3 May 2022.

On 5 [[August 2022]], Chris's lawyer [[David Heilberg]] issued a motion for an [[autism disorder deferred disposition]] for Chris's case, in which he was placed under probation-like terms.

On 27 [[March 2023]], Chris was released from custody as a result of his compliance with the deferred disposition,<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023.png]]</ref><ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023 - 1 49 pm update.png]]</ref> and he was transferred to [[Gateway Homes]] for a few months. His felony incest charge was dismissed later that year, again due to compliance with deferred disposition terms.

<center>{{PrisonSaga}}</center>

===Third Exile (''27 March 2023 - 16 October 2023'')===
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On 27 March 2023 Chris was transferred from jail to [[Gateway Homes]] and soon after he began to be recognized and photographed in public as if he were a cryptid. The start of May would mark the first of [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|many sightings]]. Possibly in a vain hope of disguising himself from watchful eyes, Chris started wearing hats and [[Pedo-Glasses|bulky glasses]], going so far as to hide the [[Sonichu Medallion]] under his shirt. In the latter half of September, Chris's car was spotted at [[14 Branchland Court]], and he was seen allegedly hugging and ''kissing'' a [[Flutter|mysterious blonde woman]].

On 9 August Chris's charge of [[Affair with Mother|incest]] was [[Jail_Saga#Dismissal|dismissed]]. One day later he became active on [[Pokémon GO#Post-jail|Pokémon GO]] in [[Big Island, VA]]. Two days later, Chris spoke his first recorded words since his release as a status update on his [[PlayStation Network#Post-jail activity|PlayStation Network]] account, being "I'm Christ Chan Prime". On the 16th, Chris [[Twitter#Post-jail activity|became active on Twitter]] by liking posts. On the 23rd, Chris made his [[DeviantART#Post-jail|first post-jail social media posts]] in a massive dump of previously unseen art (much of it made in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]), along with new content from the unfinished ''Sonichu 15'' comic, now renamed to ''[[Sonichu 0 HD]]''.

<center>{{PostJailSaga}}</center>

==Second Coming (''16 October 2023 - Present'')==

After months of public sightings and reports of incognito online activity, Chris (now under the name of Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu Prime) officially returned to the online world and [[Messiah complex|proclaimed himself the messiah]]. Behind the scenes, [[Praetor]] continues to manage Chris and presumably vet his content.

This era has been defined by well-produced and well-edited content uncharacteristic of Chris, likely reflecting both Chris's new experience in video editing. Predictably, as Chris comes the closest he ever has to being a legitimate content creator, his viewership is only plummeting as his content has become unwatchably boring.


===Revelations Saga (''16 October 2023 - 10 April 2026'')===

On 16 [[October 2023]], Chris made his first series of social media posts for over two years on YouTube and Twitter, dubbing himself "Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime" and that he had been resurrected and returned. Despite the best attempts to cover up Chris's current location, [[Kiwi_Farms|internet sleuths]] discovered it to be [[Lynchburg and Big Island, VA#Big Island|a house]] co-owned by [[Caden Peck]] in [[November 2023]]. Meanwhile, off the internet, Chris was spotted several times with [[Flutter]], causing speculation as to her role in regard to both Chris and Praetor.

This saga has largely been defined by Chris's return to both online and public fandom spaces. His tirade against [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|My Little Pony G5]] has also continued, with Chris now accusing the show of being [[Russia]]n propaganda.

<center>{{RevelationsSaga}}</center>

===Redemption Saga (''13 February 2026 - 4 April 2026'')===

After a rather abrupt [[List of places that have banned Chris|banhammer]] at [[HarmonyCon]], Chris went on a two-month-long tirade on Twitter and other social media platforms about how he's in the middle of a "[[Redemption Arc|redemption arc]]", something which he alluded to in business cards that he left around the convention. During the brief saga, Chris roleplayed as God, told numerous people to "touch grass", and wished harm towards the person who [[HarmonyCon Snitch|snitched]] on him at the convention.

<center>{{RedemptionSaga}}</center>


==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

{{References}}
{{Newbie}}
{{Timeline}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]