CWCki - User contributions [en]

Some Favored Comedians

2023-04-14T21:33:46Z

WasitacatisaW: /* Transcript */

'''Some Favored Comedians''' (officially "'''Some Favored Comedians.MOV'''") is a 20 [[May 2010]] video where [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] bores his [[fanbase]] by discussing various comedians and Seth MacFarlane. He reiterates his [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|dislike for]] the change in voice actors on ''The Cleveland Show'', does several terrible impersonations, and describes a scenario where [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]] meets him and does a stand up act about how [[Chris and his Ego|awesome]] it is to meet a retarded manchild. Apparently, Seinfeld also forgets to throw in anything resembling a joke during the act. During this extended fantasy, Chris refers to himself as a "[[Chris and reality|teenage boy]]", even though he was twenty-eight at the time the video was made, and hadn't been a teenager since early [[2002]].

After the [[Seinfeld]] bit, Chris spends a while trying to explain how he doesn't actually hate Jews at all, but makes no attempts to justify his [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|recent actions]]. He shifts gears to mention that Larry the Cable Guy should be called "Larry the Trucker Man," and then changes subjects once again, in an ADD kind of way, to Peter Cullen's voice acting [[Optimus Prime]].

Despite Chris being a critical and avid fan of ''The Cleveland Show'', he consistently refers to [[Wikipedia:Reagan Gomez|Reagan Gomez]] as "Regina". This could be an artifact of his [[autism]] for which he blames almost all of his shortcomings, or he could have confused her with [[Wikipedia:Regina King|Regina King]], who voices characters on ''The Boondocks''. He also repeatedly mispronounces Mila Kunis's name. Considering that she's the voice of his favorite ''[[Family Guy]]'' gal-pal, well, that comes as no surprise.
{{-}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Some Favored Comedians
| ytid = ArXO6O_hxz4
| stardate = 20 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[05142010]]
| next = [[100 2188]]
}}

{{quote|I probably sound like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]], you know? This could be a comedy routine for himself, you know, that he could do for autistics.}}

=== Transcript ===
Ah, [[Captain's Log]], May 22nd- [''flashes his school ring''] May 20th, 2010. I just uh, started up this video [''takes his [[glasses]] off''] to uh, give y'all a little update about myself [''puts glasses back on, coughs'']. You know, I'm doing well, so's my [[Barbara Chandler||mom]], and for your information my [[Bob Chandler||father]] is alive and well, so that rumor is false. My father is alive and well.

Anyway uh, anyway with that, I wanna talk about some of my favorite uh, comedy people. But uh, I'd like to start off with uh, prefacing with uh, preferencing an old- a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|past video of mine]], of which I have uh made the complaint about uh... [[Wikipedia:Reagan Gomez|Regina Gomez]] who plays [[Wikipedia:Nia Long|Nia Long]] on ''[[The Cleveland Show]]''. I mean yeah that was definitely like a trade down in comparison. [''Chris turns to his TV''] Let's go to a clip of Nia Long.

[''Clip of ''The Cleveland Show'' plays – probably from "[[Wikipedia:Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance|Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance]]"'']

And then uh now, check out uh, Regina Gomez in comparison.

[''Plays another clip from ''The Cleveland Show'' – probably from "[[Wikipedia:Once Upon a Tyne in New York|Once Upon a Tyne in New York]]"'']

You see a difference? Big difference. Regina is a whiny-voiced little brat, whereas uh Nia... [''turns to TV''] was a lot better. And uh, [''turns to camera''] an another reference, that was like uh, when they changed the voice- they changed the voice actress for [''turns to TV''] [[Family_Guy#Chris_and_Meg|Megan Griffin]]. I mean, yeah, here's the first voice. This is an improvement, by the way.

[''Plays a clip from ''Family Guy'' '']

Yeah, see well, this was a better change in comparison. You know, change it from... I forget her name... to [[Wikipedia:Mila Kunis|Mila Kunis]]. Whoops, I don't need to select it. Here we go. Here's Mila.

[''Plays a clip from ''Family Guy'' '']

Yeah, big difference. Big difference between the uh, voice actresses, you know. When they sw- they, did it from [[Wikipedia:Lacey Chabert|whoever she was]] to Mila Kunis, that was an improvement because, you know, maturing- the voice deepens naturally. Whereas The Cleveland Show switching from Ni- switching from Nia Long to Regina Gomez. That's a trade ''down'' [''gestures and points down'']. I mean I- I gotta tell you my opinion [''removes glasses'']. It must have been like uh, Seth MacFarlane and uh, Mike Henry musta had uh, too many [[Alcohol|drinks]] or somethin' to decide to uh, switch from Nia to Regina. Or a- or I don't know whether it's um, it was their decision or what Nia had in her head when sh- uh, when she left the show for that point.

And I leave you all with that. Let's talk about uh, let's talk about famous comedy people. Uh, y'all know I like uh, I like from class-, from the classics, [[Wikipedia:Lucille Ball|Lucille Ball]] [''High-pitched voice impression''] ''Hello, friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run down, and listless? Do you [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|poop out]] at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin''. And I also like [[Red Skelton]]. [''Dopey voice impression''] ''We were all going, OK, we were all going to the, uh, we're going to the par-, we're going to the parade. We got a float that we-, and this float that we were on, it looked like the back end of a Cadillac. And then something, and then something happened and we, uh, we don't know what happened, but we went out of control and crazy, and we ended up in McGriffin Park lake. Two ducks swam by and one turned the other and said, "Gertrude, who hatched that thing?"'' [''chuckles a bit''] Very funny people. I also liked uh, I also liked [[Wikipedia:Dick Van Dyke|Dick Van Dyke]], [[Wikipedia:Mary Tyler Moore|Mary Tyler Moore]] and, [[Wikipedia:Bob Newhart|Bob Newhart]], there's another good one. I like those types of people, but from today's, uh, from this generation, I like [[Wikipedia:Tim Allen|Tim Allen]]. He's a funny man. Yeah. [''Laughs''] I was just remembering the uh, part where- the one where he ''Tim don't put your hand in the light socket *pfft*''. But seriously though, he does very good, he's a funny man.

I also like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]]. He- he's very funny. I watch his show every- I watch his show every day on TBS... And, you know, too bad- too bad it got ended. He coulda done more shows but whatever. That was his call there. He decided that after nine seasons. I like Jerry Seinfeld, he's a funny man. You know I would- you know I would definitely like to see this, you know, even as [[Chris and reality|a video response from Jerry Himself]], his view on autis- on autistic people. Especially the high functioning autistics like myself, you know.

[''Stares into space, makes a creepy smile'']

And also, think about this, I probably sound like Jerry Sein- I probably sound like Jerry Seinfeld, you know? This could be a comedy routine for himself, you know, that he could do for autistics.

[''Pantomimes holding a mic, attempts to impersonate Jerry Seinfeld'']
Ah yeah, so I just recently been introduced to this uh, autistic, uh, boy- this autistic teenage boy here. And uh, and we sai- you know, I was introduced, so he opened up to me right away. And then I- and then- later, like I- later at this picnic, this community picnic, he uh, I see him- I see him over there and he wants to find- he wants to [[Fuck quest|meet himself a lady]], so he's hanging out over there. And I don't see him talking to the ladies, he just uh, he's just uh, smiling and being silent. I mean, he ain't gonna go anywhere unless he talks to- unless he talks to ladies, but then again that's part of the autism right there. He just tends to blank out when he's not introduced to people. Because he's scared of the uh, unknown. That's very common amongst the autistic people. And I'll tell you something else. [[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Today's society where everybody is glued to their computers and Internet and all that, they're definitely closing themselves off from society. It's like they're becoming autistics themselves]]. I mean, if they're definitely not glued in front of their computer they're definitely about as blank as that au- that little teenage boy was.

[''Pantomimes releasing mic, stares into space for a few moments.'']
Eh, yeah, but anyway I would definitely like to hear Jerry Seinfeld's uh, opinions and views, or a comedy sketch about autistic people. 'Cuz I want to ask him about that. Oh yeah, also you know, another Jewish dude I like- that he strikes me as funny, [[Wikipedia:Brad Garrett|Brad Garrett]], you know, from ''Everybody Loves Raymond'', also doing the guy from ''’Til Death''. He actually also starred in an episode of ''Seinfeld'' I read, where he steals Jerry's car. Still that does- that seems kind of dumb, you know. I even read that he tried- he tried out for Kramer, I mean, I mean he definitely would not have been- I do not know if he would be a better Kramer, I mean [''Voice changes''] "What are you looking at crazy?" I dunno. Ha, I mean,
[''Waves arms around''] "Who-whoop-whoop PIA! Yeah. Hi Jer!" [''chuckles''] Yeah I think uh, Brad Garrison is a little bit more subtle, but I like him too. You know. And I have nothing against [[Jews|Jewish people]], I mean there's people too, and I got nothing against Jewish community. I mean they have their views and we have our views, let's leave it at that. I mean they're all- they're all- they're people we're people, [''face contorts with racism''] no problem.

I know I sent [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|crossed signals]] about that at past points. Oh, hey, you know [[Homos|another dude I like?]] [''puts on a baseball cap'']quo- Larry the quote-unquote Cable Guy. ''Git-R-Done!'' [''chuckles''] Funny dude, you know. He definitely could been- he definitely had the trucker look going for him if he uh, wasn't being the cable guy. Yeah I mean, I would definitely think that would have uh, the way he was dressed they would him "Larry the Trucker Man!" Trucker Man. [''chuckles''] Yeaah, pretty funny. [''takes off cap''] Oh and also you know, speaking of impressions uhh, here's [[Wikipedia:Peter Cullen|Peter Cullen]]. [''Poorly impersonates some lines from [[Transformers]].''] "Autobots! Transform and roll out! Bumblebee, I need you to go and spy on the Decepticons. Let's- Let's see what they're go- what they're doing over there." That's [[Ego|spot on, dead on]] Peter Cullen right there. And I'm glad that, you know, aside from the generation one series, they let him do t- he volunte- he volunteered to do the voice of Optimus in the new movies, as well as in the video games. I mean all th- of all the generations between the Optimus Primes and the Optimus Primals, [''points at camera''] Peter Cullen ''is'' Optimus Prime. Of all time.

Anyway, that's uhh, just uh some of my opinions about some current and past comedians and uh, Seth! Mike! Bring back Nia Long! [''Puts glasses back on''] Anyway, I'll leave y'all with uh, that and those impressions. Until then- until another time when I have another thought or, whatever - have a good day. [''makes the peace sign''] Peace.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Jerry's view on autistic people
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FI3M-Q-7ECg}}
| stardate = 20 [[May 2010]]
| maker = simplycarlton
| subject = {{Autism|text}}
| type = Stand up comedy
| info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Joke Chris Chan Wrote for Jerry Seinfeld. (updated with theme music.)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|T9Ch_VdUzCE}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2023]]
| maker = Arthur
| subject = {{Autism|text}}
| type = AI-created video
| info =
}}

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[05142010]]|nextlink=[[100 2188]]}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2010-05-20]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, May 2010| 2010-05-20]]

Jail Letter - 20 October 2021

2021-11-04T17:15:26Z

WasitacatisaW: /* 20 October */

On 20 and 22 [[October 2021]], Chris sent a '''letter from jail''', responding to six questions asked by a fan.

==Chris's Response==
{{EnvelopeFront
| sender = Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
| address1 = 13021 James Madison Hwy
| county = Orange, VA
| zip = 22960
| date = 25 OCT 2021 PM 5 L
| upperright = ENERGY ACTION MONTH [''stamp of a bird'']
| center = █████████████ ██████████████████ ██████████████████ ██████████████████
| lower = █████████████
| left= [''illustration of the Sonichu Cross'']
}}

===20 October===

{{quotebox|October 20, 2021<ref group="note">This is the first of two letters sent by Chris in the same envelope</ref>

To <CENSORED>,<ref group="note">Many parts of available photos of this letter are redacted. However, the photo of page 2 leaves the addressees' names visible: Eliza and Katie.</ref>

I had received your letter earlier today and have just read through it over a couple of sandwiches. I write this now with continued sound mind and body and Soul on this partial sheet torn from the photo-copy of the letter's envelope while the response is fresh. Short on full, blank paper and envelopes at this moment, I will write more in a couple of days after receiving more paper and envelopes.

Now for genuine, on the level and down to this Earth preface, directly with you, Eliza; I do Meditate innately, consciously and involuentarily [sic], and constantly, and have all of my life. So, I do have direct access to and with this Earth; Both of our Earths of the recombining Universe, the entire Multiverse, the [[wikipedia:Akashic records|Akashic Records]] and All other Greater and Ultimate Knowledge; Insights, and Wisdoms. So, I do not just believe, I KNOW full and certain, with absolutely no delusions, illussions [sic], or lies, and I only speak True and Fact, as aside from some future Spoilers details not yet to be publicly revealed that I am not allowed to divulge, I, personally, have nothing or very little to hide.

-->}}

{{quotebox|That being stated, I shall initially open by answering your sixth and fourth questions, since the two are sharing in similar details.

In regards to online fame or infamy, yes I do realize and have accepted that in a certain extent of the damage and chaos that had come upon myself on this Earth was, in fact, my fault and bad in sharing too much conscious [[Honest content|honesty]] during those respective years in pertanance [sic] to what had been present then. Consiously [[Naïve]], ADD, OCD, Tunnel vision, in reference to and on top of my innate meditations, my brain was still a work in progress with a cacophony of many details, and what was right in front of my Body and happening took a lot of attention from me. I was simply still soul searching, exploring, and in remaining in observation and testing of others in mindset up til about 2011 or 2014, I did not like to lie, so honest and benefitting of the doubt I was. I Know my faults; I am certainly no Mary Sue, and that case was the same of me in [[The GAMe PLACe|Isreal]] [sic] over 2000 years ago. Yet, Even if I had not divulged so many truth bombs in honesty, and in counter in late 2007 and early 2008, the results being chronicled and famous still have transpired, anyway, as had my followers started following me in my Past Life as well. The partial lack of focus on the books is found in what I had stated above. I Know I am better than some to most, but I still have room for self-improvement.

Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart and Lord of All
}}

===22 October===

{{quotebox|October 22, 2021<ref group="note">This is the second of two letters sent by Chris in the same envelope</ref>

Dear <CENSORED>,

As I have written a couple of days ago when I had received and read your letter (and now better able to answer the remaining questions with this letter pad at my use), I now resume with continued sound mind, body and soul and focus. I also reaffirm with a hand over my heart as I write this sentence, with my full and extensive access to all greater and ultimate knowledge, insights, and wisdoms from my strong connections with the Cosmos, Universe, Akashic Records, and the entire of and beyond the Multiverse, I speak to you both True and Fact and Direct and On the Level.

████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
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████████████████████████████████████████████████████[''An icon of Chris Chan Sonichu giving a peace hand gesture'']

Now, I've already answered the 4th and 6th questions in the enclosed note, which were in regard to lack of focus on the books, about my self-awareness of my faults, and so forth.

The [[Dimensional Merge|Dimension Merge]], Collective Shift, and my Second Coming: while visually, you may or may not have witnessed obvious incoming or outgoing prescences, physical, they Have Happened and Are Happening as we speak right now. I'll spare the greater metaphysical truths and details, but suffice to state... -->}}

{{quotebox|... there still remains a lingering veil that continues to be very tough to remove by great force prematurely; its removal is Set in Divine Timing to be removed upon the completion of my Second Coming as detailed in the Bible's Malachi chapters 3 and 4. The Merge itself, Is completed between Universes 1218 and C-197, But it is one of the Three Big Events, and it all can't be concluded until after the completion of All Three. The Collective Shift is the Second and Present Event in Progress. Second Coming is the Third. NOT to avoid the Hypothetical Question; just offering the context at present.

Now, Hypothetically, for the Merge Not ever to go through in the greater conclusion is also to have the Second Coming Never to happen. In that, there would not be a "What would I do?", because I would have Never Existed during these Modern Years from 1982 to Present. And in the Lack of My Existence, You Both and EVERYONE ELSE would have Never Existed now either. I encourage you both to deeply Meditate and consult with the Cosmos for yourselves, or ask any Authentic, Highly Enlightened Psychic or Medium for the deeper details. But, to put it in shorter terms:

Since my birth in Bethlehem in year Zero, and after my obvious and physical ascension to the Heaven Realm, I had returned to Earth with my physical appearance changed and assuming a new identity, with continued immortal Memories, and so forth. I've continued to walk with Everyone for Centuries on continued guidance, observations, and Divine Missions. And I change myself time and again, even to internally and externally change my physical gender as well. Come the year 1389, and King Arthur commanded [[Thinking with Portals#Merlin's Deal with Chris|Merlin]] to exile all Dragons, ... --> ②
}}

{{quotebox|➁...which ended up Dividing the Universe, putting me Exiled from the non-magic-able Peoples as well for a brief moment for me, but Centuries for you all. My sudden Mind, Body, and Soul interdimensional transport forward and back through Time and Space landing me in my One Reincarnation and Rebirth on February 24, 1982. My father, now mother, [[Chris and religion#Concept of Emanuelle|Emanuel]] (GOD above Gods), herself, had been answering everyone's prayers and projecting my outdated visage in my steed from 1389 with my temporary exile to 2000 when I came of age, once again, and started astral projecting, manifesting, and working with everyone once again.

My Exile in 1389 was my Real leave from you all, and this Life I live Immortally in now Is the foreshadowing, along with the rewakening, obviously, of the foretold Second Coming of mine.

So Hypothetically: if there was No Dimensional Merge, there is no Second Coming, and without a Second Coming, I and ALL of you would not exist at all now. So what would I be doing? Same as you: Not Exist.

Moving on: my Past and Present views on those with mental illnesses similar to what I had been born (in this life) with. This is more personally existential in detail. Presently, I do not look down on anyone with [[autism]], ADD, ADHD, OCD, and so forth; I have become more conscious and aware and most appreciative of All who had overcome these and even harder struggles. I have other Autistic Friends: [[Anna McLerran]], for one. My trigger had been in observation, and deep empathy and mirroring, of those who Can Not extensively function mentally. -->}}

{{quotebox|I have always felt really sorry for them. But direct that question to yourself: What IF in this timeline you were as [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally incapable]] as that kid in a wheelchair, with the constantly tilted head and arched wrists, or that constantly unconscious and mumbling young adult who greets everyone with a tough-as-100 pound whaps to their shoulder or head and can't help it? To me, putting myself in their plight empathetically is a trigger, But I also do appreciate that some of them as well manage to succeed in their individual way. Stephen Hawking, to name an obvious one. I also know that They DO think and feel for themselves, BUT they can't fully express it or speak it clearly. I feel it most difficult and enduring, patient as I am, to be in their company for too long, because then my copies them and I'm left in that state of mind for a while. Just no good. I do not look down nor hate the similar or worse mentally-challenged, I have a hard time with the Worse mentally-challenged. [[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground|Be my mirror]] and reflect my plight while I mirror Timmy of [[South Park]]. I'm not laughing either.

I feel better Including Everyone, Especially when they continue to project positive vibes and emotions, as well as treating Others Kindly, Compassionately, and Respectfully as they treat their selves and their family and partner(s). I will not argue or dispute communities appreciating eachother in a similar interest, attribute, or even flaw. I have not repeated [[SLGBTQ|the acronym with Straight/Cisgender in the main letters]] in years, and I was still in a learning phase then, socially. I like being Inclusive and Open-Minded; simple as that.

--> ③}}
{{quotebox|③ Not Everything falls back on me been Autistic. But when it did, it was an impuslive (and flawed) form of self-defense, because I was really heavily emotional during those times.

A related topic: my dad, [[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. Sonichu]], throughout my life used to Constantly "Spar" to instigate an arguement or trigger of me. As If as a child (just saying and partly venting) [[Bob Walks In|going to wake up Robertchu and Barbara and seeing his pantless boxer short-less exposed]] [[Pickle|penis]]; on display like a statue in a museum, was not traumatizing enough at the time. Often, I hardly was able to (easily) counter or respect to his attempts at encouraging me to verbally argue or defend myself. On THAT Aspect, I CAN fall back and blame the freaking autism as it was then.

But, yeah, I did not verbally argue as much growing up, and it took facing the even Toughter Moments since [[2000]] and shit for me to actually formulate and speak better self-defenses with what is Truth, Even in those times when the result was actually MY DAMN FAULT, ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE TRUTH BOMBS AND [[Rosechu|ROSEY ROSECHU]]'s POST-INTERSEX-TO-FEMALE TRANSITION AND OPERATION NUDES IN THE XXX-TENDED CONTROVERSIAL VERSION OF MY [[Sonichu 8|BOOK NUMBER EIGHT]] IN [[2008]]! FUCKING [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA]] AND TOXIC HATERS!!! HELL, YES, I AM UPSET! I TESTED EVERYONE AS I WAS MEANT TO ON DIVINE MISSIONS FROM EMANUEL, AND I GOT BETRAYED-KISSED AGAIN BY [[Null|JOSH MOON]] AS I DID BY JUDAS! -->}}

{{quotebox|*DEEP BREATHS*

I apologize for that outburts, but I also feel it empathasizes my point in response to your fifth question. I do take responsibility for slipping into the emotional outburst.

Also, I never said Barbara was a God. But Emanuel is my mother, as she was my father long ago. Emanuel and Barbara are two separate individuals and souls.

And I AM Living in the NOW; I Have Been.

I Know who and what I am, was and always have been, and one moment at a time, in this Body of mine and Astrally Manifested between Both Earths of 1218, here, and of 1C-211987.

Thank you <CENSORED>, for your questions. You have my consent and permission to share my truthful responses online if you and <CENSORED> feel well and wish to do so.

████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
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I personally Bless you both through this letter and directly from my soul; go forth in Peace and Clarify by my Power and Glory as God.

Be Safe and Well with Lots of Love 
Mrs. Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue
Heart, and Lord, Messiah, Savior and God of all.}}

==Gallery==
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===20 October===

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===22 October===

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==Notes==
<references group="note"/>

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Jail Letters]]

Officer Nasty

2021-09-13T19:15:55Z

WasitacatisaW:

{{Honest}}

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|Ah, it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit. Awesome to fuck, and the cleaning maintance is simple. She'll only last until she has her internal injury|Chris on Officer Nasty.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#12 November]]</ref>}}

[[File:Officer nasty art.png|left|thumb|How Chris probably imagined Officer Nasty.]]
[[Image:Officer Nasty.jpg|thumb|Chris violently [[Chris and sex|molesting]] a [[Jerkop|police officer.]] Oh, the humanity.]]
[[Image:Officer Nasty Peter.jpg|thumb|Seems like Officer Nasty and Chris would both get down with Meg.]]
'''Officer Nasty''' was [[Chris]]'s only sexual partner (until he dumped her ass for [[Kimmi]]) and the only [[jerkop|janekop]] that he trusts.

Though the only time she went down on him was when she got a puncture. ''(ba dum, tisch!!!)''

According to Chris, Officer Nasty ''did'' suffer a 'serious internal injury' and went down in the line of duty. He even claims that he's "been through 3 of the 'Officer Nasty' dolls already" (a claim borne out by [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|records of his orders]] from the Adam & Eve website). It is hard to discern whether the punctures were caused by his [[obesity|massive girth]], his bent [[duck]], or both.

Note that the pictures were not taken in CWC's [[Chris's room|room]], but his family's filthy kitchen. Yes, he actually brought Officer Nasty out of his room, fully inflated.

Chris was likely influenced by [[Family Guy]] when he named his doll seeing as it shares the same name as Peter's police officer alter ego.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Julie]]
*[[Kimmi]]
*[[Sex toys]]

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Talk:It's Raining Men

2021-05-16T23:15:24Z

WasitacatisaW: /* The name */

Is it possible that "fumbling with the mic" is actually Chris playing on the Guitar Hero? He's done it before during songs and it kind of sounds like the ticking of the tab going fast up and down... Anyone have any thoughts? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:50, 14 November 2011 (PST)
* That kinda makes sense. I've never played Guitar Hero, but it seems to me that the audio would be a bit spottier if Chris was actually fidgeting with the microphone. I'm still not sure, to me it sounded like he couldn't decide on a placement for his mic.

Talk:It's Raining Men

2021-05-16T23:14:44Z

WasitacatisaW: /* The name */ new section

It's Raining Men

2021-05-16T23:13:29Z

WasitacatisaW:

"'''It's Raining Dykes'''" is the 8th track from ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' by [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. It is a cover of the song "[[Wikipedia:It's Raining Men|It's Raining Men]]" by [[Wikipedia:The Weather Girls|The Weather Girls]], except [[Chris]] replaces the word "men" with "dykes", before spending the rest of the song trying to justify his stupid rewording.

It is worth noting that "It's Raining Men" is often considered to be a [[Homos|gay anthem]].

The clumsy "Yikes!" rhyme is likely a reference to the ''[[South Park]]'' episode named "D-Yikes!".

== Audio ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = It's Raining Men
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J5EAXISWUaM}}
| stardate = [[November 2011]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}} {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[You Think You're a Man]]
| next = [[Raspberry Swirl]]
}}

=== Lyrics ===
''(sounds of Chris fumbling with mic)'' 
''(Uncertain)'' Uh, hi, we are weather people, and we've got news foooor you. Y-you better listen-get ready, all you lonely girls and men, keep those umbrellas at home, alright.

[''unintelligible''] 
Thermometers getting low, 
A-a-according to all sources, 
The street's a place to go, 
'Cause t'night for the... the first time, 
Just about half past YIKES! 
Forthefirst tiiime in his-to-ry, 
Itsgstart raining [[Homos|dyyyyykes]]!

It's rainin' dyyykes 'aaaaallelujah, 
It's rai-ning dykes! ...Amen! 
I'm gonna go out... to-oo run-toletmyself get 
[[Comeuppance|Absoluuu-lutely soakin' wet!]] 
It's raining dykes, 'Allelujah, 
It's raining dykes, every specimen, 
''(mumbles while fiddling with mic)'' ..daarg-dark, neat, 
[[Lovely Weather|Rough and tough and strong]] and swee-ee-eeeeeet,

God bless Mother Nature, 
She's a single womaaaaan too 
Knows what she likes? She took off to heaven 
'N she did what she had to do. 
She taught every angel 
To rearrange the sky 
So each and every woman and--d-gay 
Could find [''unintelligible''] ''[pause]'' couldfindaperfectgaaaaal!

It's raining dykes! Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes, ''(fumbling with mic)'' a-Ame-en, 
It's raining dykes. ''(more fumbling)'' Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes...

''(in speaking voice)'' Raining dykes for tomboy lesbians.

''(continues singing)'' ...Weeather... Movin' iiiin... 
...'Bout ta bee-giin... 
...Hear thunder, don't youuuu lose- 
...Don't you lose your head, 
Rip off the roof and stay in bed

God bless Mother Nature, 
She's a wom-mannnnn too, 
She know what she likes-shet'koff to hea-ven, 
She did what she had to do 
She got every angel ''(more fumbling with the mic)'' 
To re-rearrange the sky 
So that each and every woman and guy 
Could find their perfect gaaal ''(fumbling stops)''

It's raining dykes, yeah. 
''(More muttering and fumbling. The fumbling continues throughout the track)'' ...Barometer's getting low... 
''(stuttering)'' ...to all sources, 
The streeeet's a bu-place to go, 
'Causet'night's gonna- ...For the first time, 
Just about half past YIKES, 
For the first time in historyyyyyyyyyyyy, 
It's gonna start rainin' dyyyyyyyyykes, 
It's raining dykes! Hallelujah! 
It's raining dykes! 'allemen! 
It's rainin' dykes! 'allelujah, 
It's rai-nin' dyyykes...

Raining dykes, 
It's raining dykes, 
Raining dykes, 
Raaaaandykes, 
Raining dykes, dykes...

''(A brief period of Chris just fiddling with the mic, then the song cuts out.)''

{{The Tomgirls}}
[[Category:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]
[[Category:Music]]

Trolls

2021-03-17T18:56:20Z

WasitacatisaW: /* The Jew in the Pickle Suit */

:''This article is about troll personas. For how trolls manipulated Chris, see [[Chris and manipulation]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|...[T]hey are vicious, crazy, wickedly smart people.|[[Chris]] on trolls.<ref>[[Tomboys_And_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Friendship_Issues|Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}
{{quote|What a world we live in, with such trolls in it.|[[Bubbles]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].}}

[[File:ThePatriots1.png|thumb|This Patriots from ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', an inspiration for personas created by the trolls that called themselves the Miscreants.]]

'''Trolls''' are various individuals of all races, colors, and creeds united under a common goal - to mess with the life of, and extract as much [[Laughs_Under_Lucricities|lulz]] from, the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]'s most beloved and most hated [[autism|autistic]] manchild, [[Chris Chan]], as possible. The organized effort to troll Chris began in earnest in 2007, and still has momentum going for it, even if it peaked after disbanding of the Classic-era trolls following the death of Chris's [[father]] in 2011.

Trolling schemes by these individuals have ranged from [[Manipulation|manipulating]] Chris into a ''Truman Show''-like existence, making him [[:Category:Videos with RAGE|rage on video]], making him take [[Nudes|pictures of himself unclothed]], accelerating the breaking of his sense of [[reality]], and more.

==Pre-ED==
It is notable that Chris was bullied in real life before his discovery by [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] and [[ED]]. It can be argued that the first known torment of Chris occurred when his lifelong-friend-who-no-longer-speaks-to-him, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|locked him under the house]] when they were children. The next notable bullying occurred during the infamous mini-date with [[Hanna]] in [[2005]] which smashed his [[heart level]] to 15%. Around the same time, he was also trolled by a girl he contacted through [[MySpace]] named [[MySpace messages#Lindsay|Lindsay Kaye]]. There was also possible trolling of Chris through the guestbook on his website from as early as [[2003]], when "a hot redhead" said that she would meet him outside of [[PVCC]] (either this was epic trolling, or Chris put it on the guestbook himself). And let's not forget about [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] hijinks.

But this was all child's play compared to what happened next....

==The Miscreants==
{{quote|Y'all are making me very nervous right now.|Chris on The Miscreants.<ref>[[Mumble 9]]</ref>}}

[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|left|The Miscreants at their annual Ancient and Secret convention.]]

[[Image:TapestryPickleMan.jpg|thumb|The Miscreants was an ancient order dating over a thousand years. In this lost scene from the Bayeux Tapestry, Christian's ancestor Geoffrey Weston the Feeble-Minded notes that he has been fooled by the "Man donning the Pickled Cucumber Suit."]]

'''The Miscreants''' were a group of people who trolled Chris from 2009 up until his father's death in 2011. [[Clyde Cash]] was the original leader of The Miscreants, which was styled after The Patriots, the shadowy cabal from the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' series who are revealed to be behind a conspiracy spanning decades, including all of the main incidents the protagonists go through. They claimed to be responsible for several unfortunate events in Chris's past, [[Chris and reality|which Chris seemingly believed]].

On 23 [[February 2009]], The Miscreants approached Chris in [[Mumble]] and informed him of their plan. Several [[Secret Weapon|"HA-HA, I got you!"]] videos were made, all with false information. To deal with these Internet bullies Chris resorted to [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 23rd, 2009|babbling incoherently]].

After the disappearance of Clyde Cash, the site was down for a few weeks, with the message that "Clyde's dead, baby." After that, the website returned, apparently re-uploaded by Vivian Gee. Part of the site description read "Name's Vivian. Guess I'm the new leader or some shit. Fuck y'all." On 28 [[June 2009]], the Miscreants set up shop at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] message board.

While online wars have been waged, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Men in Pickle Suits]] have also been deployed to ruin Chris in reality. These exploits have included stealing his [[Emily|date]], obtaining potentially life-ruining material, and generally being lulzy. They also seemed to treat [[Bob Chandler]] as one of their own.

While the group's explicit purpose, [[Mumble 9|according to Cash]], was to ensure that [[Chris and sex|Chris never got laid]] and forever remain a [[Virgin with rage]], that didn't stop them from [[Hooker incident|sending a bunch of prostitutes to]] [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]]. Nonetheless, Chris got the last laugh when [[Mia Hamm|he hired a prostitute]].

Since the death of Bob, the Miscreants have effectively disbanded, with pretty much everyone involved distancing themselves from Chris, and only a few (such as [[Surfshack Tito]]) continuing their efforts before eventually losing interest. Years after the fact, some have admitted that they took things too far when reflecting on this era of Christory, while others look back with a sense of smug satisfaction.

=== Asperpedia Four ===
Includes Alec Benson Leary (the creator of ''[[Asperchu]]''), [[Evan Christopher George]] (the creator of ''Simonchu'', and therefore [[Simonla]]), Sean August Watley (the creator of ''[[Moon-Pals]]''), and Mao Ling (the creator of the Asperpedia, which brought them all together).

[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|left|80px|thumb|BILLY MAYS]]

=== [[BILLY MAYS]] ===
The infamous loud-mouthed salesman of the same name, who types in ALL CAPS, and was declared the mayor of [[CWCville]] by Chris on 3 March 2009 while under pressure from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]]. It is widely suspected that Chris himself had something to do with his untimely death.

=== [[Blanca Weiss]] ===
[[Image:Blanka.jpg|80px|thumb|Blanca's true identity.]]

"Blanca" was really a trio of trolls (RickyRicardo123, Ickeriss69, and Nurse Icky-chan) who tricked Chris into sending them nudes, and later his [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]]. Ickeriss later uploaded a couple of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzlUoAOpiak videos] featuring the Sonichu medallion, including a video in which the medallion is destroyed.

Not to be confused with [[Trolls#Lordsillynipples|LordSillyNipples]], who used the Blanca identity to score the first nudes.

=== [[BlueSpike]] ===
BlueSpike (AKA "LeonSpike", aka "Julie", aka "Max") is a thirteen-year-old boy who pretended to be Chris's [[sweetheart]] "Julie". He later revealed himself as a troll in a now infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself|hour-long audio recording]] in which he berates Christian and makes him stick his Sonichu medallion up his ass.

[[Image:BryanBash.jpg|thumb|left|80px|Bryan Bash (right) with your sister (left).]]

=== Bryan Bash ===
Bryan Bash is a close friend of [[Clyde Cash]]. He is the one who [[Hooker incident|sent hookers over to Chris's house]], as well as the person who called during the infamous [[Bob Walks In|"Bob Walks In"]] audio file, and is responsible for leaking [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]. Additionally, he leaked the [[Father Call]] and the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]] to [[/cwc/]] on 11 November [[2009]], and he has also leaked conversations between [[Chris]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]].

=== [[Clyde Cash]] ===

[[image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|80px|right|Clyde Cash. The man. The legend. The guido.]]

The nefarious [[Clyde Cash]] is the most infamous and legendary of trolls. A vile and reprehensible fellow whose very name strikes fear and revulsion into Chris's clogged heart and inspires admiration from the souls of the people. He posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], raped Chris's beloved [[PandaHalo]], and performed many more amazing feats about which songs shall be written and the minstrels shall sing of in the ages immemorial. Unfortunately it will not come to pass since Clyde is serving a life sentence for stealing the identity of Lee Hotti.

=== [[Emily]] ===
A brave soul who went on a date with Chris. She was later saved by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew in the Pickle Suit]].

[[File:Ahuvia.png|thumb|left|80px|Jack Thaddeus]]

=== [[Jack Thaddeus]] ===
The possible successor (and gay lover) of Clyde Cash and is responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings and also for the [[CWCipedia]] ads.

[[File:Jimmuh hill.jpg|thumb|80px|Jimmy Hill]]

=== [[Jimmy Hill]] ===
A British sportscaster. He claimed to be the true original creator of Sonichu, the first openly gay cartoon character which briefly became very popular in Europe in 2009.

=== [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] ===
The original creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] page.

=== [[Man in the Pickle Suit|The Man in the Pickle Suit]] ===
A real-life pickleman who answers to Clyde Cash. He saved Emily from the clutches of Chris.

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|left|80px|The [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris]]

=== [[Liquid Chris]] ===
A [[YouTube]] troll who is known for doing a spot-on impersonation of Chris-chan. Within his saga, Liquid Chris is referred to as the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris-chan and creator of the popular comic character Sonichu, and Solid is referred to as an angry troll named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], who made outlandish claims that he was the real Chris.

=== Lordsillynipples ===
A troll from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] who was responsible for impersonating [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] and being the first to obtain the now [[Nudes|infamous Chris-chan noodz]] on 11 September 2008, along with [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Chris's DVD]]. She is also responsible for giving birth to the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] and for feeding Chris the infamous guido picture of [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]].

=== [[Robert Simmons V]] ===
A YouTube troll who managed to gain Chris's trust by showing him support and mirroring his life. Along with [[Church audio|visiting Chris's church]] and meeting [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], he also had a hand in organizing the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily date]].

[[image:Tito 300.gif|thumb|80px|Surfshack Tito]]

=== [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] ===
Shigeru Miyamoto (Japanese: 宮本茂) is the creator of some of Nintendo's most legendary video game franchises such as ''Super Mario'', ''The Legend of Zelda'', and ''Star Fox''. He pretended to be interested in his [[sonichu|yellow Sonic abortion]]. It would later come to light that Miyamoto was a sockpuppet of Clyde.

=== [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] ===

An enigmatic troll who managed to invoke Chris's wrath on [[Surfshack Tito|two]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|separate]] occasions by hacking his PSN and taking the blame for ruining Chris's slim chances with [[The Wallflower]]. He was also involved in [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction]] of Chris's beloved [[PS3]].

[[image:TH.PNG|thumb|80px|left|Thorg]]
[[image:Vivian.jpg|thumb|80px|Vivian]]

=== [[Thorg]] ===
A troll responsible for creating a [[20 December 2009|slanderous billboard]] in 2009 and exposing [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] in 2011. A major part of Chris's 2011 [[Calling Out|blackmail campaign]].

=== [[Vivian Gee]] ===
The creator of the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]] and various other Chris-related videos and cousin of Clyde Cash. A former white knight who turned troll after she realized Chris was a [[Vivian Gee E-mails|hopeless, thick-skulled moron]]. She and Clyde Cash were both personas created by the same troll.

== Post-Bob's death ==
Following Bob's death in 2011, the then-current group of trolls disbanded to give Chris room to grieve. In the years that followed, new trolls would eventually crop up.

=== [[Catherine]] ===

A mysterious sweetheart from Britain. After rejecting Chris, she braved Chris's jealousy and sense of entitlement to send out never before seen content.

=== [[Jeff/Francine]] ===

The mysterious creator of [[CWC Adult Chronicles]]. Targeted by Chris for selling unofficial Sonichu merchandise and in a blatant act of hypocrisy, was made fun of for her transition.

=== [[Johan]] ===

An ex-gay porn star who challenged Chris for the rights to impregnate [[Sam and Ellen|two lesbians]]. After a sex-off, Johan's superior body and non-bent duck won them over.

=== [[Jessica Quinn]] ===

A former white knight who played the long con by becoming his sweetheart. Known for her fat fetishism before ditching him and coming back and forth to toy with him.

== Cult of the Idea Guys ==

Beginning in October 2017, the [[Idea Guys]] exploited Chris's fantasy [[coping]] mechanisms to gain power over him. Since then, numerous [[enablers]] have used similar methods.

=== [[Idea Guys]] ===

A group of trolls whose actions rivaled and arguably surpassed that of BlueSpike. They remain infamous for how they manipulated and brainwashed Chris over a period of several months, coercing him into performing degrading acts and extorting him out of thousands. The Idea Guys hastily vanished after the emergence of [[Null]] and the [[Guard Dogs]], who set about attempting to reverse all the Idea Guys had wrought. Nonetheless, Chris maintains many of their ideas in the current day, chief among them the belief that he's a [[CPU Blue Heart|goddess]] meant to usher in a [[Dimensional Merge]].

=== [[Teen Troon Squad]] ===

A group of transgender teenagers who posed as his friends. They took advantage of Chris's faltering sense of reality by feeding him information on the [[Dimensional Merge]] and taking over his Twitter account. Rumored to have given Chris marijuana.

=== [[Jacob Sockness]] ===

A mysterious man from San Francisco, California, who aims to gain access to Chris for reasons which have ominously never been properly explained. He has primarily served to only further enable the beliefs planted in Chris's head by the Idea Guys, as well as bolster Chris's belief in the [[Dimensional Merge]] coming to pass. After Sockness stated that he was taking a train across America to meet with Chris personally, even Chris realised that something was horribly wrong, and insisted that Sockness stop. While Sockness stated that he would turn back for California after reaching his destination, and ended up honouring Chris's request, he ended up trying to force his way back into Chris's life on repeated occasions, only to be triumphantly shot down by Chris in late November 2019. Sockness made it clear he had no intention of giving up, and he had made repeated attempts at returning after that only to be chastised by Chris repeatedly in July 2020 and being blocked once and for all by the end of August.

=== [[Ben Saint]] ===

A webcomic artist who expressed an interest in Chris two years prior. Ben entered into a squabble with Chris after getting him and [[Night Star]] involved in his latest comic series promoting his latest project, ''Endless War''. The interaction would then lead to a battle over the canonicity over the events of the comic, with the two sides providing [[Sonichu Special 7|contradictory narratives]].

=== [[Larry Vaughn]] ===

A troll who attempted to somewhat follow in the footsteps of the Idea Guys. His grandiose plans of using [[Magi-Chan]] as a hostage to make Chris drive to Disney World were stopped before they could begin, but Vaughn did manage to have Chris send bizarre Twitter DMs to various individuals.

{{clear}}

== [[Sonichu_(character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ==

While there's no definitive proof of these two being trolls, they have been known to dispense advice for Chris from time to time, especially on the subject of relationships.<ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> Considering the [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|results derived from said advice]], one cannot help but wonder about their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|true motivations]].

== Devil Trolls ==
[[File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Featured in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.]]

Aside from the several notable figures above, the '''Devil Trolls''' are mysterious, [[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's depiction.]] evil creatures that appear in Chris's ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic series. These creatures are first mentioned in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and make their first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

Like many beings within Chris's comics, the Devil Trolls are inspired by his encounters in real life. Devil Trolls represent the various trolls that have given him such [[stress]] over his lifetime. This is shown when Chris encounters a set of them attacking a room containing his stuff from one of his earlier websites.

[[File:Devil_troll_artistic_interpretation.png|thumb|150px|Artistic recreation]]
The Devil Trolls make their first mentioned appearance as some sort of grass protrusions taking away the fallen "[[IBAChandler]]" after Sonichu defeats him in ''Sonichu'' #9. They make their full appearance in ''Sonichu'' #10, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] encounters them inside a room containing his pictures from his various websites. Seeing as Chris can't create anything without ripping off original designs, Devil Trolls resemble [[Wikipedia:Troll doll|those old Troll toys]], minus their gems, with long tails and demon-like wings. They also sport sharp teeth.
{{clear}}

== Motivations ==

=== Chris's perspective ===

Chris himself has a more simplistic view of what motivates his enemies. When a [[Mailbag]] correspondent asked him to explain why he's trolled, and why so many people seem to hate him, Chris had this ingenious response:

{{quote|"Tehy're just jealous that they did not think of [[Sonichu]] first, or that I am more [[Chris and art|Artistically Talented]] than they are."|[[Chris]], [[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]}}

[[File:Trollll.PNG|thumb|Drawing of a troll appearing in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].]]

This is consistent with the advice given many children who are harrassed in real life: that bullies are merely jealous of you, and want to see you react unfavorably, when in reality, bullies abuse others for many different motives, jealousy being only one of them - and, internet trolls typically do what they do for their own amusement, and not always out of some personal slight against their target. Since Chris [[Count Graduon|never moved past]] [[Manchester High School|high school]] mentally, he still believes he is hated because [[Ego|he is so much better than everyone else.]] [[File:Trollmiia.png|200px|thumb|artistic recreation @miiashapphire]]

From his own attempts to illustrate trolling, it's obvious that Chris has no concept of how it works. When he tried his hand at impersonation, he thought that we'd all be trolled if he pretended to be an epic troll, but then [[Jack|a troll]] saw through his lie and forced him to admit that he is, indeed, a fat idiot. Chris believes that trolling has two steps: pretend to be someone you're not and then "troll" someone by revealing who you really are. [[Silvana]], a character based on his perception of forum trolls who claim to be people they aren't, thinks it's hilarious to pretend to be [[Meg Griffin]], kiss Chris, and then transform once she's out of sight. As a result, Chris walks away happy, unaware that he just kissed a tranny, defeating the entire point of "trolling" him.

Recently, it seems that he's decided that the majority of his hated trolls are actually homosexuals, combining his two major hates into one massive force of nature. The earliest this is seen is [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag&oldid=3208|a message he wrote] in his Mailbag section, exploding in rage over an added [[Twitter]] and how they could talk about him behind his back. Even more, in his [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|CWCipedia article on The Wallflower]], Chris has also decided that the trolls are also [[niggos|black]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris also considers trolling a ''crime'', and has somehow dedicated himself to stop trolling. However, Chris's views on trolling are very very skewed, as he believes that ''all'' trolling is equal to what he had done to him. A [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|recent video]] actually has him tell people how to act on the Internet [[Chris and hypocrisy|mere moments after revealing his real name, address, and phone number]].

As the years passed, Chris's take on trolls has erupted into a massive flight of fancy. Because he has been refused admittance to [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris has now proclaimed that the entire store is a massive front for Internet trolling, with [[Michael Snyder]] as the ringleader of it all. As well, he seems to have chosen the [[CWCki Forums]] as a major gathering place for trolls.

=== His parents' perspective ===
The [[Matthew Noble call]] in August 2010 revealed some interesting insights into Bob and Barbara Chandler's interpretation of what has happened to their son over the years. Chris's parents are apparently convinced that the entire Chris-chan Trolldom grew out of a conspiracy by Michael Snyder, two alleged homosexuals who frequented The GAMe PLACe (possibly [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), and ''[[Megan Schroeder]]'', who worked to get Chris banned from the store and are involved with a general effort to harass and torment Chris. When speaking with Ivy, Bob described Megan with words like "cruel" and "German". Bob was convinced that it is all because they are persecuting Chris for being autistic, while in reality he was scaring away customers with his behavior and sexually harassing Megan.

It's useful to try to consider things from his parents' point of view. To begin with, there ''is'' a worldwide conspiracy, more or less, to pester the Chandlers, violate their privacy, drive their son to do ridiculous things, and otherwise fuck with them in a myriad of ways. Bob and Barbara are bombarded by prank phone calls all day, nude photos, God knows what else arrive in their mail, signs mysteriously appearing on their lawn, Chris having [[Kacey and Liquid Call|angry screaming matches]] with people they've never met on the telephone, Chris once drove off to Ohio to meet [[Julie|a woman who didn't exist]], and so on.

Being Chris's parents must be a fairly surreal experience at this point, and given that they belong to a much older generation, they can hardly be expected to develop the grasp of Internet social phenomena that they'd need to properly understand their situation. The GAMe PLACe, however small a piece of the bigger picture it may be, is the most significant real, physical element of Chris's adventures in trolldom that they've been exposed to. As ridiculous as their theory may seem, it's probably the best they can do as far as making sense of what has happened and continues to happen to them.

== Chris the troll ==
While the idea of everyone's favorite manchild becoming the one thing he hates seems kind of farfetched if not laughably ironic, it actually isn't too far off as one might think. Because of his horrendous misconceptions of what he thinks his trolls does, Chris believes that, if given a new target, Chris's trolls would gladly stop attacking him and go after that new target. In the past, Chris has tried to deflect his trolls towards people like [[Joshua Martinez]], [[Michael Snyder]] and even [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]]. However, Chris has been so entrenched with his trolls and viewers that the idea of going after someone else doesn't seem feasible anymore.

As well, Chris has even attempted to troll his own trolls. One of the first known attempts was the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, claiming that he had pulled the most epic prank on the Internet, only to turn around the very next day and reveal that it was a lie. [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], as mentioned above, had his comic book self thinking he had kissed [[Meg Griffin]], not knowing that it was actually [[Silvana]]. As well, on 28 [[April 2012]], he attempted to convince his trolls that he had decided to return to the mall and resume his [[Love Quest]], armed with his [[Attraction Sign]]. Again, he revealed the next day that it was a lie and that he had gotten [[ban]]ned from the mall just before he decided to pull it.

Interestingly, Chris's perception of being a troll is less about trolling to get a rise out of someone and more of attempting to pull a prank. His "return" to the Love Quest is probably the biggest indicator of that. Chris let his trolls know through his [[Facebook]], then waited a day before shouting "SURPRISE!". As well, he also believed that if someone reads his message, he's going to assume that everyone has and that they are going to descend on the mall like a bad flash mob just to find Chris. Too bad everyone, unlike Chris, has lives of their own.

However, if there is one person that Chris himself has successfully trolled, without a shadow of a doubt, it's ''himself''. Proof of this can be directly pointed to his [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|bad habit of surrendering information]] about himself, no matter how [[Tomgirl|embarrassing]], [[Nudes|demeaning]], or [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|downright]] [[Dox|stupid]] giving out said tidbits of himself would be. Chris often screams at his trolls for not leaving him alone, but, aside from the fact that his antics only add more fuel to the fire, he always fails to realise that if he didn't give them ammo to begin with, he wouldn't have ended up in this predicament. A shining example of this would be the [[2013 Imgur Leak]]. Chris could have ranted about the trolls, and most would have shrugged and assumed that [[Chris and anger|he's just being angry in typical Chris-Chan fashion.]] That is, until Chris revealed the reason ''why'' he got upset, inadvertently revealing the Facebook posts he was keeping a secret, as well as some [[Death Threats|very unsavory information]] that could get him arrested if taken seriously.

It just goes to show you, nobody trolls Chris better than Chris. Chris is the type to not only shoot himself in the foot, but reload, fire again, and repeat the cycle while blaming the trolls. He just never learns.

== Today ==
:''Main article: [[Weening]]''
Since the death of [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]], the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|loss of his home]] and [[Financhu Crisis|his plummet to the breadline]], Chris has changed profoundly. No longer is he the [[naïve]], [[Chris and fashion|clown-shirted]], [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|indifferent]] [[Ego|egotist]] ED discovered in 2007; instead, he is a jaded, chronically depressed, [[Tomgirl|cross-dressing]] child trapped in an adult's body, who is not as susceptible to, capable of dealing with, and arguably, as deserving of trolling as he used to be.

Many of those who continue to follow his activities are beginning to opine that he has suffered enough, and that active trolling, even where it is successful, doesn't produce the [[Laughs Under Lucricities|results]] it used to, takes more effort due to his inflated paranoia, tends to lead to small groups monopolizing Chris and hoarding the information they gather (as happened with [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] and [[Catherine]]), and in some cases, causes needless emotional damage to Chris. For example, the revelation that Chris's latest girlfriend, Catherine, was yet another troll persona in early [[November 2014]] provoked disgust and disappointment, as many felt that not only was it [[Sonichu|unoriginal]] and [[JULAAAY|no longer funny]], but the trolls had spent weeks, if not months stringing him along and toying with him, including tricking him into [[I Love You, Catherine|grovelling]] for "Catherine"'s continued affection. Many felt this amounted to emotional abuse of an already broken and miserable shell of a man, some were even disappointed as they felt that after all Chris had gone through, he deserved a lucky break, and a real relationship for a change.

Further, this was accompanied by the revelation that the same group of trolls had also fabricated Chris's denunciation by his [[Gal pal|high school friends]], leading to many questioning the morality of impersonating Chris's old friends just to get a reaction out of him, and of course, the terrifying [[CWCVille|Orwellian nightmare]] that such trolling has left Chris in, as virtually every aspect of Chris's social life is engineered by trolls and he has no way of knowing what or who is real – [[Savannah Chandler|even his own family]]. This is perhaps partially responsible for his growing obsession with his [[Lego|hoarded crap]] and his preoccupation with his [[Homos#Chris the lesbian|new identity]] – it has gotten to the point that Chris's identity and his possessions are all he has which he knows for certain are real and not a troll fabrication.

Chris's transformation has also coincided with, and perhaps influenced, a shift in trolling. Active, chronic trolling such as Chris has experienced is now generally looked down upon as [[weening]] and attention whoring, instead it has become more fashionable to leave a lolcow like Chris to their own devices for the most part, and observe, rather than continually provoke. Proponents of this type of trolling note that many major events in Chris's life have happened independent of troll influence, such as him burning down his own home, his various outings to [[Charlottesville]] and beyond (and many subsequent IRL bans), his bizarre dealings with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and of course, the infamous [[28 October 2011]]. It can also be argued that much (if not most) of the trolling that Chris experienced since his discovery in 2007 was ween as well, and that it may have partially caused his bitter, depressed and paranoid state today.

However, this newfound empathy evaporated on [[26 December 2014]], as Chris vandalized a ''[[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]]'' display at his local [[GameStop]] before attacking an employee who was calling security - all caught on camera by a bystander. This shattered any pity most people had for Chris mostly because of the way in which he conducted himself, commanding employees "Don't call anybody!" and generally behaving as if he were answerable to no-one throughout. One CWCki Forum commenter aptly described Chris' actions as "socially deaf", as naturally an aggressive, balding man shrieking at staff, wearing toy sunglasses turned a few heads. This is merely one of many cases in which Chris has dissipated the pity of trolls by bouncing back from his [[I Love You, Catherine|supposed]] [[To Mr. Smith|depression]] with an act of astounding [[Ego|hubris]] and [[Naive|stupidity]]. The revelation that Chris was in jail awaiting video court two days later was received with relief, and hopes that he may finally be forced to [[Chris and anger|learn]] [[Chris and his Ego|lessons]] he should've been taught three decades ago.

Furthermore, in the following months, Catherine's correspondence with Chris and her side of the story were steadily leaked on Kiwi Farms, resulting in her being largely exonerated of her abuse of Chris, mainly because it turned out Chris himself was not exactly blameless, and the main purpose of "Catie" had been to try to contain Chris's growing madness and to help him, rather than to make bizarre demands of him or manipulate him in the ways previous sweethearts had. It was revealed that Catie had tried to tell Chris repeatedly that their outings together were not dates, and eventually that she was not interested in dating him, as he began to attempt to control her in ways eerily resemblant of [[Women's rights|domestic abuse]], namely, trying to prevent her from seeing [[JERKS|male]] [[Colin|friends]] and exploding with jealous rage when she did, insulting her, refusing to let her break up with him, making [[Barb|deranged claims of royal lineage]] in a bizarre attempt to command authority over her, and even claiming that he was ''entitled'' to a relationship.

All of this has proven that Chris is not worth sympathizing for, since he keeps on getting worse.

On 27 December 2014, a troll joined Chris's "FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!" group and posted a link to the video from the day before. Eventually, more and more trolls joined and the group eventually became littered with photos of Chris's trigger, as well as people mocking him, and other forms of [[ween]]ery.

Perceptions of Chris plateaued between 2015 and 2017 as the [[Financhu Crisis]] rolled in. Constant begging videos and other attempts to raise funds saw an increasingly mixed perception of him. However around this point, weening started to reach an all-time high as Chris migrated to [[Twitter]] as his primary ways of communication.

Sympathy for Chris would reach another high point in [[2018]] when Null and other Kiwi Farms members revealed the full details of the [[Idea Guys]]' antics. Not only were they inserting politically incorrect details into the Sonichu canon, they were also extorting him by taking advantage of his belief in other dimensions, which were also enabled by them. However, with Chris's decreasing touch with [[reality]] since then (i.e. the [[Dimensional Merge]]), this newfound sympathy stands to be tested.

==See also==
* [[2012 Poster campaign]]
* [[4-cent garbage.com]]
* [[A-Logging]]
* [[CWCki]]
* [[Enablers]]
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[PVCC (Message Board)|PVCC]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin']]
* [[Weening]]
* [[White knight]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Trolls}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Officer Nasty

2021-01-05T01:39:12Z

WasitacatisaW:

{{Honest}}

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Officer nasty art.png|left|thumb|How Chris probably imagined Officer Nasty.]]
[[Image:Officer Nasty.jpg|thumb|Chris violently [[Chris and sex|molesting]] a [[Jerkop|police officer.]] Oh, the humanity.]]
[[Image:Officer Nasty Peter.jpg|thumb|Seems like Officer Nasty and Chris would both get down with Meg.]]
'''Officer Nasty''' was [[Chris]]'s only sexual partner (until he dumped her ass for [[Kimmi]]) and the only [[jerkop|janekop]] that he trusts.

Though the only time she went down on him was when she got a puncture. ''(ba dum, tisch!!!)''

According to Chris, Officer Nasty ''did'' suffer a 'serious internal injury' and went down in the line of duty. He even claims that he's "been through 3 of the 'Officer Nasty' dolls already" (a claim borne out by [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|records of his orders]] from the Adam & Eve website). It is hard to discern whether the punctures were caused by his [[obesity|massive girth]], his bent [[duck]], or both.

Note that the pictures were not taken in CWC's [[Chris's room|room]], but his family's filthy kitchen. Yes, he actually brought Officer Nasty out of his room, fully inflated.

Chris was likely influenced by [[Family Guy]] when he named his doll seeing as it shares the same name as Peter's police officer alter ego.

{{quote|Ah, it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit. Awesome to fuck, and the cleaning maintance is simple. She'll only last until she has her internal injury|Chris on Officer Nasty.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#12 November]]</ref>}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Julie]]
*[[Kimmi]]
*[[Sex toys]]

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Officer Nasty

2020-10-26T05:31:36Z

WasitacatisaW:

{{Honest}}

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Officer Nasty.jpg|thumb|Chris violently [[Chris and Sex|molesting]] a [[Jerkop|police officer.]] Oh, the humanity.]]
[[Image:Officer Nasty Peter.jpg|thumb|Seems like Officer Nasty and Chris would both get down with Meg.]]
'''Officer Nasty''' was [[Chris]]'s only sexual partner (until he dumped her ass for [[Kimmi]]) and the only [[jerkop|janekop]] that he trusts.

Though the only time she went down on him was when she got a puncture. ''(ba dum, tisch!!!)''

According to Chris, Officer Nasty ''did'' suffer a 'serious internal injury' and went down in the line of duty. He even claims that he's "been through 3 of the 'Officer Nasty' dolls already" (a claim borne out by [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|records of his orders]] from the Adam & Eve website). It is hard to discern whether the punctures were caused by his [[obesity|massive girth]], his bent [[duck]], or both.

Note that the pictures were not taken in CWC's [[Chris's room|room]], but his family's filthy kitchen. Yes, he actually brought Officer Nasty out of his room, fully inflated.

Chris was likely influenced by [[Family Guy]] when he named his doll seeing as it shares the same name as Peter's police officer alter ego.

{{quote|Ah, it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit. Awesome to fuck, and the cleaning maintance is simple. She'll only last until she has her internal injury|Chris on Officer Nasty.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#12 November]]</ref>}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Julie]]
*[[Kimmi]]
*[[Sex toys]]

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

File:Officer Nasty Peter.jpg

2020-10-26T04:57:30Z

WasitacatisaW: The character in which Chris had named his beloved sex doll after.

== Summary ==
The character in which Chris had named his beloved sex doll after.