To Jackie, with Love.MOV

2010-09-15T01:18:58Z

Weinerfart: /* Transcript */

{{quote|I love you... Come to me or [[Rape|I will come to you]]!|Chris confirming that he's a stalker.}}

'''To Jackie, with Love.MOV''' is the first of two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 13 [[September 2010]]. In it, Chris declares his love for [[Jackie]] by showing her a slideshow (which seems to consist of a mix of scanned hand-drawn images and Little Big Planet builds) on his new [[PS3]] while Crash Test Dummies' "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" plays in the background.

Chris spends most of the video [[creepy stare|staring at the camera]]. He shares his vision of what their date will be like, which includes [[Family Guy|going to see a movie]], [[McDonalds|going to a fancy restaurant]], [[University of Virginia|taking a walk in the park]], and returning to his house for some good old [[sex|hanky panky]]. [[For My Sweetest Ivy|Hmmmm, sound familiar?]] He also mentions that she shouldn't leave him because it would take "well over a month" for him to forget about it and move on to the next [[sweetheart]].

Chris also reveals Jackie's last name, which [[The Wallflower|you'd think he'd have learned not to do.]] Moments later, he tells her: "Come to me, or [[Rape|I'll come to you,]]" which doesn't exactly sound romantic.

[[Chris and camerawork|To no one's surprise]], the lighting conditions in [[Chris's room]] make it all but impossible to see what is going on the screen.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = To Jackie, with Love.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HkpRvP-XucM}}
| stardate = 13 September 2010
| style = {{crazy|text}}
| subject = {{sex|text}}, {{galpals|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]]
| next = [[XBox is OK.MOV]]
}}

== Transcript ==

[''Chris is standing in front of his television, holding a PS3 controller. He is displaying a slideshow on the TV and clicking through images throughout the video, many of them indistinguishable'']

This is for you, Jacklyn, my [[Sweetheart|sweethearts]]! I want you so bad, you know, I need you. [''displays claw''] [[Speech impediment|You completely- you completely so- you completely s-]] complete me so much. It's all so hard to explain, you get me so excited, you get me energized, [[Bunny Hop|I just wanna... JUMP!]] [''barely jumps, then bounces up and down''] I just wanna jump! I wanna- I- [''throws hands in the air twice''] You get me so excited! Especially when I do things for you that you- that you enjoy, that I helpcha to- I help pu-, uh, put together for you. It's just really awesome.

Besides, as i- as said on that website, we're s--we're so much a match in- in many things. And you know, I could do a lot of fancy things for our first date. Like, you know...[''gestures towards imperceptible drawing on the television''] Yeah, that's the first- that's the drawing right- that's a drawing right there. Hmm. I mean, yeah, sure, got a little... [''holds up controller''] gamey thingy here, but... you know what? It's a good way to project. Especially since I did the drawings firsthand by hand.

Anyway, for our first date, like I said, I would do it fancy but... I'm a [[autism|simple]] kind of guy, you know... li- you know, nice little [[Country Cookin|dinner for two]], maybe a m- maybe a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|movie]], a walk in [[McIntire Park|the park]], that sort of thing. So my fancy day is just mostly simple, really.

[''gestures towards new indistinguishable image on the screen, then continues to flip through images''] And anyway, little bit more of you. I meet you at your- I meet you up at your place or where we decide to meet up... [''stammers''] and then we head on out for our lovely date. We go- we'n go- catcha- we'n go catcha... we can go catch a movie. Maybe go see a Disney flick... and then make out once we got here [''screen shows one of the few interpretable images; her and Chris kissing. He still draws himself as a blob in a polo shirt'']. Or we could go to an amusement park if there is one, and ride the rollercoaster! ''Psshhhhhewww!'' [''flails hand in the air and makes a stupid face''] Ride the ferris wheel... um, we're together, enjoying it.

And then we go to... [[Golden Corral|restaurant]], uh, depending on whether, uh, what can- what we can or where we would feel like going, would it be fancy, or, uh...[[McDonald's|inexpensive]]. [''gestures towards images on screen, a screenshot from [[LittleBiGPlanet#First_Date_Level|the First Date Level]]''] But this one was fancy, the one I put together for the first date here. Anyway, we just enjoy each other's company, and the food. It can be candlelit... because that is part of the fancy. But we're just gazing into each other's eyes lovingly, there's hearts between us. [''creepy smile'']

And then you just, you just grace me on the way- on our way to the park, where we can enjoy- [''stammers''] we can slide down the slide, I can push you on the swing, or just sit on the grass or whatever, enjoy the moonlight... MAGIC moonlight. Sit by a tree and mmmmake out.

And then when it comes to like- it comes to uh, the [[Third date|apex of our evening]], I can pick you up to our car, the- take you back home! And then if you want to, we can go back in there and really m- and really [[sex|make love]]...[''points and raises arm heroically''] I'll wear protection! Because I [[love]] you and I care about you very much. More than anything. [''suddenly shouting''] I need you! I need you, Jacklyn! I don't ever want you to leave me! I need you! I want you! So much!

[''normal tone resumes''] I don't ever want you to leave me, 'cause if you leave me now, you'd just leave me very sad. It'd be so much heartbreak, I'd be torn- I would be... down for... well over a month. I don't even want to think about it. Don't even wanna think about it.

[''shouting again''] But I love you, Jackie! I LOVE YOU! I love you, Jacklyn Romley! Come to me, [[Chris_and_rape|or I will come to you!]] And we will enjoy- and we will dance the night away... or hang the day away, and see where it goes from there. [''points at nothing'']

You make me jump. You make me jump! [''throws arms in the air and then slaps them to his torso''] I love you so much! [''another torso slap''] Can't stand it. I really can't stand it.

[''pauses for 6 full seconds and stares blankly'']

[[Trolls|Nothing]]'s gonna come between us, sweetheart. It's you and me forever. I love you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]]|nextlink=[[XBox is OK.MOV]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

XBox is OK.MOV

2010-09-15T01:15:47Z

Weinerfart: /* Transcript */

{{quote|I have no...I have no hate... I have little... [[Chris and anger|I have no hatred or anger]] towards the [[Homos|gay men]]. [[It's UGH!|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. I'm cool with...I'm cool with you gays, you know?|Chris [[List of Chris's lies|lying]] to impress [[china]]}}

'''XBox is OK.MOV''' is the second of two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 13 [[September 2010]]. In it, Chris makes various declarations including a recanting of his [[Hex Box|Xbox]] hatred, stating that he has nothing against the [[homos|gay men]], and removing any [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] he placed. Chris appears to be trying to clear his name, perhaps to demonstrate to a certain [[Jackie|sweetheart]] that he has changed his ways. The Apocalypse is expected to come any day now.

It is unclear why Chris has had a change of heart over the Xbox. Having shown his first [[PS3]] no love by [[The MovingForward videos|destroying it]], it only took Chris a matter of days to purchase a new one. This new PS3 appears in the video, and is used in the first video Chris uploaded earlier the same day.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = XBox is OK.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hVHNdHEz0hM}}
| stardate = 13 September 2010
| style = {{smug|text}}, {{reason|text}}
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

== Transcript ==

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate September 13, 2010.

I am making this video to make a public statement.

I no longer have any angst or hatred or anything, any beef, against the Xbox. It is a good console, a very good console, prob-a about equally good as a PS3, cannot play BluRay, but! It is still a good console and is just another gaming console. Just like...you know, I guess, PS...a PS3 is another gaming console, another [[Wii]], or a Wii is another gaming console.

[''Turns to his TV''] And you notice that there's a depreciation in the number of gaming consoles in the center [''gestures at the TV; a [[Modnation racers|Mod]] is visibly idling on the screen''] because, the gaming addiction is gooone! I... [[Autism|[''loses train of thought momentarily'']]] I have gotten rid of the hoarded systems - [[List of Chris's games|systems and games]] that have been, I have hoarded for a number of years.

And also, I would like to make another statement. [''Looks away from the camera''] I have no...I have no hate... I have little... I have [[Chris and anger|no hatred or anger]] towards the gay men. [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. [''Chris looks visibly insincere''] I'm cool with...[[It's UGH!|I'm cool with you gays]], you know? You go do what you want to do, just you know, [[Honest Content|keep it to yourselves]]. That's all. We're all equal people. We have every right to live our lives free however...each, however each of us individually chooses. So there.

[''pauses and shifts positioning'']

[''mumbles''] Uh, let's see that was another thing...another thing. Hmm.

Anyway that's, uh, that's essentially it. Oh yes I just remembered the other thing. [''Holds up a hand in forgiveness blessing fashion''] I remove ALL [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|hexes and curses]] to every single person I have ever...around the world that I have ever left a curse on. So consider yourselves [''wave of his arm''] cleansed! [[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|You're all forgiven.]] Every last one of you. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness!]]

And with that I bid you a good day and a safe one too, all of you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWCki - User contributions [en]

To Jackie, with Love.MOV

XBox is OK.MOV