CWCki - User contributions [en]

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2012-10-16T13:10:38Z

Westbound: Facebook.

Facebook.

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2012-10-09T07:24:32Z

Westbound: Facebook post 12

Facebook post 12

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2012-10-09T07:23:51Z

Westbound: Facebook post 11

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2012-10-09T07:22:59Z

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2012-10-09T07:22:16Z

Westbound: Facebook post 9

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2012-10-08T23:09:03Z

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2012-10-08T23:08:26Z

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2012-10-08T23:07:33Z

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2012-10-08T23:07:00Z

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2012-10-08T23:06:16Z

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2012-10-08T23:05:06Z

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2012-10-08T23:04:25Z

Westbound: Facebook post 2

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2012-10-08T23:02:41Z

Westbound: FBP1

FBP1

User:Brendsmalls/Drinking Game

2012-07-27T04:08:10Z

Westbound:

Watching the trials and tribulations of Chris Chan is entertaining enough, but the next logical progression is to throw liqour into the mix. To play, grab your favorite [[Fanta|drink]] and head on down to the Cwcville Library with your bestest joy-boys, pick any older video, and watch in any order you want. Watch the videos in their entirety (with the exception of [[SonichuBabies|nonsense]] where none of these things happen like Guitar Hero or Little Big Planet videos), noting each time one of the following things occurs and drinking accordingly.

Here's a good [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XmuUP8Z7r4&feature=BFa&list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw| video ]] to begin with.

==Take one drink==
===Whenever Chris does any of the following===
[[Image:Amnyfest.jpg|thumb|Right|TRUE and HONEST]]
*Chris sighs/grunts
*Shows off something to prove its/his authenticity (Amnyfest ring, medallion, etc)
*[[Pedo-Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|Dramatic glasses removal]]
*Holds a picture/sign in front of the camera
*His voice gets high pitched or cracks when yelling
*Chris Asserts heterosexuality
*Chris is homophobic
*Chris curses/blesses/uses his special brand of GodJesus [[Chris the Shaman|powers]]
*There is a wild mood swing between two videos (crashing into slumber in one, making a death threat or giddy about a new sweetheart in the next)

===Whenever Chris says any of the following===
*"Boyfriend-free girl"
*"Gal-pal"
*"Duck"
*"China"
*"Damn dirty"
*"Sweetheart from the ground-up"
*"True and honest"
*"Virgin with rage"
*Says the name of a specific troll (Clyde Cash, Jack, etc)
*Mentions a specific date ("In that october of 2007!")

==Take two drinks for==
*Racial slurs or [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|unintentional racism]]!
*A death threat!
*Showing his fangs!
*Says "Mmmm..." before giving a long pause.

[[Image:Furyofmywrath.jpg|thumb|Right|The claw in question.]]
==Waterfall during==
*The [[Claw of Fail]]
*Shadow boxing/violence by proxy

==Everyone else drinks when you spot==

*The [[Plush Breasts]]
*The [[Sailor_Moon_Poster_of_Fail|sailor moon poster]]

The Illustrious CWCville Library
[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw&page=7]

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2012-07-26T15:44:20Z

Westbound: http://books.dreambook.com/leslie_lioness/lione.html http://members.tripod.com/~Leslie_LiOnEss/lesloe.html Old.

http://books.dreambook.com/leslie_lioness/lione.html

http://members.tripod.com/~Leslie_LiOnEss/lesloe.html

Old.

Chris and sex

2012-04-14T10:27:28Z

Westbound: Cleaned up.

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex outside of his single sexual experience he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology; for example, in [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]] it's mentioned that Chris told Ivy that he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!" While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

According to [[Calling_Out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|a video]] published in [[August 2011]], Chris enjoys female domination (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]).

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass Debating|masturbatorily]].<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals.

Despite his statements against bestiality, Chris stated that he would be willing to have sex with a female dog (because he's not a homo) for [[PandaHalo]] and specified that he'd prefer a Collie.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLNUncC6Nm8&list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw&index=6&feature=plpp_video</ref>

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

However, in [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin due to the help of a hooker.

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, as is evident from the [[IRC (21 January 2009)|chat]] in which he was informed of the rape of [[PandaHalo]] and her ensuing impregnation. Chris's response to hearing about his girlfriend's traumatic ordeal was extremely nonchalant, and at one point during the chat he even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her [[Clyde Cash|rapist]], whom Chris had described as a "good man" for his regret over raping Panda and for his willingness to take care of the rape child. Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, Chris would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref>

Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies, but due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] this scenario is highly unlikely. Still, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and sex

2012-04-14T10:25:04Z

Westbound: Moving

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex outside of his single sexual experience he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology; for example, in [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]] it's mentioned that Chris told Ivy that he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!" While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

According to [[Calling_Out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|a video]] published in [[August 2011]], Chris enjoys female domination (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]).

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it [[Mass Debating|masturbatorily]].<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals.

Despite his statements against bestiality, Chris stated that he would be willing to have sex with a female dog (because he's not a homo) for [[PandaHalo]] and specified that he'd prefer a Collie.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLNUncC6Nm8&list=UUpZbAoE-X3DdRo0jxIQsMaw&index=6&feature=plpp_video</ref>

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, as is evident from the [[IRC (21 January 2009)|chat]] in which he was informed of the rape of [[PandaHalo]] and her ensuing impregnation. Chris's response to hearing about his girlfriend's traumatic ordeal was extremely nonchalant, and at one point during the chat he even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her [[Clyde Cash|rapist]], whom Chris had described as a "good man" for his regret over raping Panda and for his willingness to take care of the rape child. Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, Chris would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref>

Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies, but due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] this scenario is highly unlikely. Still, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

File:Fbnote2.PNG

2012-04-01T16:57:19Z

Westbound: Facebook public note 2

Facebook public note 2

File:Fbnote1.PNG

2012-04-01T16:56:54Z

Westbound: Facebook public note 1

Facebook public note 1

Cole Smithey

2012-03-21T04:15:37Z

Westbound: Fake.

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age 48)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Barbara]] (mother) [[Jack Dale Smithey]] (supposed father) [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (presumed actual father) [[Jerry Harmon]] (supposed stepfather) [[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 1]]</ref>}}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son and the lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family. Lately, Cole has made an effort to distance himself from Chris, once tweeting that he doesn't want people inquiring to him about Chris's current whereabouts.

He currently lives in Manhattan and is a noted film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.<ref>http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/</ref> He achieved notoriety in Time Magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to Toy Story 3.<ref>http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/</ref> He also occasionally hosts [[eBay]] auctions to spend a night drinking with him.

==Childhood==
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|left|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook. Notice how he looks EXACTLY like him.]]

Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> As a child, Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his "stepfather" [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref>

Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married to, but records show she wasn't.<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref> Cole suspected, and later confirmed, that his biological father was [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

==Move to California==
Cole left Virginia for California, attending San Diego State University from 1981-1984, and earning degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College in similar fields of study.<ref>http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa</ref> While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called "The Rockin’ Dogs". The band lasted from 1981-1985.<ref>The Rockin’ Dogs
</ref>{{clear}}

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole wasn't on good terms with [[Bob]] and not even with [[Barbara]]. [[Bob]] worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref> In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks him to let him know when Bob dies, so that he can celebrate.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

Barbara continued to lie about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]].

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.
{{clear}}

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Ironically, Cole actually gets along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb (or at least he used to; it's unclear whether the two are still in regular contact), and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save "[[Julie]]").

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts, his presumed father, had died a month beforehand.<ref>[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]</ref> Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how [[Chris and his Ego|self-absorbed]] he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.

===Cole in the comics===
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

File talk:ColeSmitheyTweet.jpg

2012-03-21T04:10:36Z

Westbound:

== "I don't know when, though." ==

Do you at least have a rough guesstimate? I'm trying to confirm it and a search via snapbird turned up nothing. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 18:01, 20 March 2012 (PDT)

This is a shoop if I remember that was flown around 789 a long time back. Just a joke, not real. [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 21:10, 20 March 2012 (PDT)

Facebook statuses

2012-03-14T17:24:19Z

Westbound:

Chris had funny [[Facebook]] statuses on his old profile, and continues to have them on his current profile.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is [[Feel So Lonesome|lonesome]] and playin' his [[Video games|videogame]].
| January 10, [[2008]] at 12:37am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome and playin' his videogame.
| January 10, 2008 at 12:39am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome and waitin' at the [[University of Virginia|Alderman Library]]
| January 16, 2008 at 3:00am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at [[14 Branchland Court|home]].
| January 18, 2008 at 8:45pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at home and tired of the snow.
| January 22, 2008 at 3:37am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at home
| January 23, 2008 at 8:17pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library Lounge This Afternoon.
| January 23, 2008 at 8:20pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge This Afternoon.
| January 24, 2008 at 2:23am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 24, 2008 at 4:59pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at [[The GAMe PLACe|The Game Place]] this evening for [[Pokémon|Pokemon]] League.
| January 24, 2008 at 11:52pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 25, 2008 at 5:36pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be attending the early service at his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]]
| January 26, 2008 at 10:18pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 27, 2008 at 6:01pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge this Afternoon
| January 28, 2008 at 7:27pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge this Afternoon, [[Virgin with rage|and I am real lonely.]]
| January 28, 2008 at 9:11pm
|-
| I'm not seeing any NEW posts on my wall, please write something pleasant, some [[Gal-pal|gal]].
| January 29, 2008 at 3:13am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at The Game Place this evening for Pokemon League.
| January 31, 2008 at 10:17pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be attending the early service at his church
| February 2, 2008 at 7:14pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| February 7, 2008 at 9:23am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at The Game Place this evening for Pokemon League.
| February 7, 2008 at 4:56pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| February 12, 2008 at 3:44pm
|-
| Open Question; Please Answer. Am I Good Looking or handsome?
| January 29, 2012
|-
| Here is a suggestion, and it would greatly be appreciated. Download (To your phone or handheld), or
Perferably (color) Print, my Profile Photo. Share with me as many of y'all's female friends. Ask them each if they think I look cute, good, attractive or not. And if they ask, tell them I am single. And if they ask How I am still single; DO NOT HESITATE to inform them, "He is very shy and high-functionally autistic." TELL THEM NOT TO GOOGLE MY NAME, or just leave my name out of the conversation.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| Well, still an open question, do I look attractive in my most current photograph, featured Profile Photo?
| January 30, 2012
|-
| During a time of which, [[The_Tale_Of_The_Crazy_Pacer|"Pacing"]] with said sign stuck onto original DS played the role. I was considered "Crazy", but my actions were greatly misunderstood by the people. "Soliciting?"?!! I had no understanding or awareness of that term until after I was handcuffed Twice; Recorded on file once. I had little respect to the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] in colors other then blue or black. After October 28, 2011; I know have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called "Officers of the Badge."
| January 30, 2012
|-
| At the capital [[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square| F.Sq Mall]]; Population: Mild to medium.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| It really makes me feel soo sad, lonely and disappointed to feel soo INVISIBLE IN PUBLIC. I could just Stand in Walking Traffic, and I would ONLY be overlooked and walked through like a ghost of sad, lonely pasts
| January 30, 2012
|-
| I mean, ANYONE can feel sorry for somebody who is worse off, but do THEY actually do ANYTHING for that person? The answer is No. Another thing that makes me sad.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| This Charlottesville "Community" is FULL of Ignorant, Uncaring, Snooty, Snobish Corrupted People.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| Time and Time again, I saw Very Little Success in Attracion. If "Good Looks" attract the opposite gender, and if I have such a good-looking, kind face that may be even considered Remotely Attractive, I would have attracted my woman right away and I would not feel soo crappy and miserable today.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| I am Not looking forward to turning 30. [:_(
| January 30, 2012
|-
| It reminds me of countless times I hung out here from '05 to '07 in the enduring days of my Sweetheart Search. During most of which, I resorted to a method of attraction that I learned later "made me look retarded"; having a sign by my side stating, "##- Year Old, Single Male, searching for an 18 - ## year old Single Woman."
| January 30, 2012
|-
| February is coming up... My birthday's on the 24th... I'll be 30... Still a Virgin. I mean, MOST people lose their Virgin Marys BEFORE 21. My mother lost hers in her High School years. My Father lost his at the age of 27. "THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN"!!! DAMN IT! Abstinence is a Very Crappy Joke! It only leads to Growing, GROWing, GROWING EMOTIONAL PAIN over the extended time.
| Janurary 30, 2012
|-
| I miss hanging out with my friends too.
| January 31, 2012
|-
| Chobits. The storybooks Chi reads; they describe me. Chobits available for instant streaming on [[Netflix]]. The anime is very good in its story.
| January 31, 2012
|-
| [[:Image:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png‎|Please tell EVERYONE to Stay the HELL Away from that PLACe!!!]] ''[Note: Ad is placed underneath the status update.]''
| January 31, 2012
|-
| The best possible solution for my emotions is to ACTUALLY hang out IN PERSON. IF y'all can get away from your own businesses, romances and work to ACTUALLY Be Better Friends.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| People of [[Charlottesville, VA]] are Insensitive of others, including those of us who are Socially Worse Off than they Snobbishly are.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Bitch left w.out a reply from me. Confirmed departure; relocated self to Starbucks kiosk leaving chair as-is; Symbolic Middle-Finger to [[Jerkops]]. BTW, [[Janekop]] "threatened" to get the [[Manajerk]]. LOL.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| I am still feeling heartache; including empty-but-few-drops feeling in heart; continuing to wait for Caring, Pretty, White Female Peer.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Currenty at [[Fashion Square Mall|F.Sq. Pop]]: mild to med. Approached by B.Male Jerkop in white; asked me to re-rotate comfy chair I'm sitting in; I Ignored the S.O.B. ;j Now being approached by W. Janekop; ignoring bitch.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Heartache. heartache... [[Chris and English|helaerttttttttacheewi]].....
| February 2, 2012
|-
| I feel a little better, but the heartaches are still here. Doctor Perscribes Hanging out and having fun with some Friends, Face to Face, Three Times A Week.
| February 2, 2012
|-
| Earlier, at Toys 'R' Us, I put together a [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|Lego (Friends) Lemonade Stand]] for Alex's cause. Each Free stand built would give a dollar to support ending child cancer.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Anyhoo, after T.R.U., I went to the mall, with my normal plan in my head to sit, hang and wait for a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|Ms. Right]].
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Back to today, I took my normal once-around the mall before settling down to hang. But I impulsively decided to leave a few photos as I walked. Eventually, I settled for my hand at a table of the S.Bucks kiosk. I called my mother to check in. While ringing, a Jerkop wandered into my space; I saw one to a handful of my warning photos in his right hand. I felt shocked with surprise.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Mom answered; I played it cool with her, while I started to get up and walk away. We finished the chat; she hung up; I hung up as I walked. Then I looked back; the Jerkop following me said something. I start running to the JCP. I hid in the back for a moment to catch myself. I thought it best to leave and return another day.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Set to exit via the one with the salon, HE and an accomplice intercepted me. "You're not in any trouble", the Jerkop said; the hell I was not, or Why would the son of a bitch be chasing after me. I exited via the South exit instead. I veered my way around eastward to the Mitsu I was driving, far east from the east Belk entrance. I started along the outter edge of the parking lot. I was spotted by the accomplice, but I was too fast for him, and I was tactful hiding and weaving around the parked cars to get to mine.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| I see the acc catching up as I was close to my car. Those dumbasses probably thought to search for my [[Son-Chu|Escort]]; not a Mitsubishi. The Jerkop called out to me by name once during the mess; I was Not going to associate with ANYONE who knew me by name without my own familiarity of him/her. Cheap Internet Fame is JUST NOT WORTH A SHIT. I got into my car and escaped swiftly, leaving behind a confused accomplice.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Now I rest at an [[McDonald's|McD]] with an Arnold Palmer Tea and Apple Slices, rehydrating myself and resting while typing my story up. My Mother does NOT need to know of what happened.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Sorry, but another important point needs to be typed. The edited .jpg of Snyder's 10% coupon from NBC 29's flyer I had posted earlier on my wall, well I have recently printed 50 copies at a photo-print station at [[Wal-Mart]] a few days ago, Destined to be distributed as I went. Placed like on the table I wpuld be sitting at, or for the Mall, placed like advertising things near other ad things. Their purpose, obviously, is to Inform The Public and Masses to Stay Far Away from that PLACe, because Cyber-Bullies DO meet, hand and breed there under Snyder's approval. That PLACe WILL go down, by my will, or by someone else's fire-on-a-stick and bombs.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| On another topic, I just got hit by my horoscope today. It warned me to keep my business only to myself and associates, otherwise I'd run risk of...
| February 4, 2012
|-
| (keep my goals to myself or risk)... "Being encouraged Ad Nauseam"
| February 4, 2012
|-
| I took the horoscope to mean that I should keep my resumed Sweetheart Search quiet at the Mall today. I had planned on wearing a sign around my neck, stating non-offensively, "IF YOU LIKE ME, PLEASE TELL ME". I had also thought of playing music from my 3DS loudly through bomb-shaped mini speakers with fun faces I had purchased at Wal-Mart.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Found first two seasons of "Laguna Beach" on DVD at Goodwill with ALL matching discs included. Checking out series now; I like it so far.
| February 5, 2012
|-
|Recently, after being corrected of homo Andy Dick DID NOT star in the movie, "Napoleon Dynamite", I rented the movie from PSN. It was a fun, okay movie. Additionally, I actually watched the first two episodes of the new Animated Series on FOX before I watched the movie.
| February 5, 2012
|-
| Recently watched Graduation episode of L.B. S-1; I reflected on High School again, as well as my Graduation. I cried again.
| February 6, 2012
|-
| I Don't Know. I've observed that I felt like more often than usual. I'm still feeling lost. I'm lonely. I need face-to-face woman/friends. I'm slow on the take sometimes to often. I wish I could go back to 1999. I wish my family and I had not moved back here. My heart still aches. My soul feels broken, beaten and scarred. I dunno what to think. I Don't Know.
| February 7, 2012
|-
| Hey, Everyone! Say hello to my friend who has been offline for a while; she finally got back on and started an f.b. page for herself from my invitation, [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]. **(:D**
| February 8, 2012
|-
| Here, [[:Image:Chris_and_Jackie_Lego_Friends.png‎|my Lego Minifig counterpart is lucky with a Lego Friend]]; hopefully Jackie and I can get together and renew our relationship. :) '[Note: Picture is placed underneath the status update.]''
| February 9, 2012
|-
| [[:Image:Christian_3DS_Wii_QR_Code.png‎|My 3DS Mii QR Code]]. ''[Note: Code is placed underneath the status update.]''
| February 9, 2012
|-
| I've just finished watching the [[My Little Pony|M.L.P.]] We <3 Ponies Mare-a-thon countdown. I'm pleased "Green Isn't Your Color" made #2; I feel confused why "Luna Eclipsed" was voted #1. I liked "Look Before You Sleep" better, but considering the choices on HubWorld.com, "The Cutie-Mark Chronicles" should HAVE been the #1 episode.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| I'm just (re)informing y'all that I still feel little looking forward to my 30th [[Christian Love Day|Birthday]], and I have NO plans on or around the date. Everyone on my Friends List, you all are welcome to extend you wishes to me by U.S. Post Mail or Telephone on my cell's Voice Mail. You all are also welcome to visit me at my house (yard-visit); please call my cell and leave a message with your name and phone number, so I can return your call.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| Also, I still wait for a response from Jackie here; with her hopping a plane for a vacay suddenly, I feel concerned and worry rather or not she still longs for me (mutually) or not.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| Mom got upset with me after I got caught flipping off a Jerkop. She told me how she felt in a conflict-resolution. It hurt me. She recovered after some rest, but I still feel very sad. I feel like I deserve to be beaten up, and I do not want Michael Snyder's blood on my mother's hands.
| February 13, 2012
|-
| I'm feeling sad and lonely again. Just hang in' at McD in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckers]]. *sigh* ...
| February 13, 2012
|-
|}

== Application statuses ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler was reviewing friends' friends for [[Love Quest|dating]], using Spark
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler wants to know if you would [[Hanky-panky|do him]]? Yes? No?
|-
|[[Troll|Someone]] is checking out Christian Weston Chandler on Zoosk.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is in MOOD for a [[Rape|SWEET KISS]] from someone really special Is that YOU?
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler gave a sweet ANONYMOUS kiss to a Secret Someone special Rachel Davis Isnt this exciting?
|-
|Someone rated Christian Weston Chandler on Are YOU Sexy.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has added FunWall.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being viewed on 'Meet New People'.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added the iLike application.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added [[Chris and music|music]] to their profile
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler took the [[Sweetheart|Ideal Mate]] quiz
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler says: I feel Lonely
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being viewed on MNF
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler just added the [[Cherokian Clan|Heritage]] app.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler , New Stickers are waiting for you!
|-
|Someone Yes'd Christian Weston Chandler on MNF
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has added a new [[Son-Chu|bumper sticker]]
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is checking out Are You Interested?!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has created a playlist called [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CWC\'s Jams]].
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler voted for his favorite version of a song
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler listened to the song
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being flirted with on 'Meet New People'.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is checking out Meet New People!
|-
|Update! Top Friends News from Christian Weston Chandler!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found someone interesting on Mesmo [[Chris and television|TV]] Match
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler took a quiz
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added [[Family Guy|TV favorites]] to their profile using Mesmo TV
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is passing teammates in TV Show Trivia
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found out which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|sexual position]] is best for him
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|Naughty Genie]] and is granting naughty wishes to friends
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has made a naughty [[China|wish]] to Linda DeLorme. Linda DeLorme must now fulfill it.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler granted a naughty wish back to Linda DeLorme
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler joined the Compare HOTNESS Tournament!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has just sent a new post.
|-
|Someone flirted with Christian Weston Chandler!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found a lucky Facebook [[Homos|Fairy]]!
|-
|Naughty Genie granted Christian Weston Chandler a Wish
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is playing the Sex Appeal game.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler sent Frog playing banjo gift to Jessica Gombert
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Smiley from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler sent Rachel Reynolds a Juno Movie Message.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler voted for Melissa Williams for FB Models.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has a Blue heart !
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Nosey from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Bluey from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Spotty from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler gained a Scratch And Win title
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has been loved
|}

[[Category: Websites]]
[[Category: Historical Documents]]

Facebook statuses

2012-03-14T03:25:35Z

Westbound:

Chris had funny [[Facebook]] statuses on his old profile, and continues to have them on his current profile.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is [[Feel So Lonesome|lonesome]] and playin' his [[Video games|videogame]].
| January 10, [[2008]] at 12:37am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome and playin' his videogame.
| January 10, 2008 at 12:39am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome and waitin' at the [[University of Virginia|Alderman Library]]
| January 16, 2008 at 3:00am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at [[14 Branchland Court|home]].
| January 18, 2008 at 8:45pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at home and tired of the snow.
| January 22, 2008 at 3:37am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at home
| January 23, 2008 at 8:17pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library Lounge This Afternoon.
| January 23, 2008 at 8:20pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge This Afternoon.
| January 24, 2008 at 2:23am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 24, 2008 at 4:59pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at [[The GAMe PLACe|The Game Place]] this evening for [[Pokémon|Pokemon]] League.
| January 24, 2008 at 11:52pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 25, 2008 at 5:36pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be attending the early service at his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]]
| January 26, 2008 at 10:18pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 27, 2008 at 6:01pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge this Afternoon
| January 28, 2008 at 7:27pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge this Afternoon, [[Virgin with rage|and I am real lonely.]]
| January 28, 2008 at 9:11pm
|-
| I'm not seeing any NEW posts on my wall, please write something pleasant, some [[Gal-pal|gal]].
| January 29, 2008 at 3:13am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at The Game Place this evening for Pokemon League.
| January 31, 2008 at 10:17pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be attending the early service at his church
| February 2, 2008 at 7:14pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| February 7, 2008 at 9:23am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at The Game Place this evening for Pokemon League.
| February 7, 2008 at 4:56pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| February 12, 2008 at 3:44pm
|-
| Open Question; Please Answer. Am I Good Looking or handsome?
| January 29, 2012
|-
| Here is a suggestion, and it would greatly be appreciated. Download (To your phone or handheld), or
Perferably (color) Print, my Profile Photo. Share with me as many of y'all's female friends. Ask them each if they think I look cute, good, attractive or not. And if they ask, tell them I am single. And if they ask How I am still single; DO NOT HESITATE to inform them, "He is very shy and high-functionally autistic." TELL THEM NOT TO GOOGLE MY NAME, or just leave my name out of the conversation.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| Well, still an open question, do I look attractive in my most current photograph, featured Profile Photo?
| January 30, 2012
|-
| During a time of which, "Pacing" with said sign stuck onto original DS played the role. I was considered "Crazy", but my actions were greatly misunderstood by the people. "Soliciting?"?!! I had no understanding or awareness of that term until after I was handcuffed Twice; Recorded on file once. I had little respect to the Jerkops in colors other then blue or black. After October 28, 2011; I know have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called "Officers of the Badge."
| January 30, 2012
|-
| At the capital F.Sq Mall; Population: Mild to medium.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| It really makes me feel soo sad, lonely and disappointed to feel soo INVISIBLE IN PUBLIC. I could just Stand in Walking Traffic, and I would ONLY be overlooked and walked through like a ghost of sad, lonely pasts
| January 30, 2012
|-
| I mean, ANYONE can feel sorry for somebody who is worse off, but do THEY actually do ANYTHING for that person? The answer is No. Another thing that makes me sad.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| This Charlottesville "Community" is FULL of Ignorant, Uncaring, Snooty, Snobish Corrupted People.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| Time and Time again, I saw Very Little Success in Attracion. If "Good Looks" attract the opposite gender, and if I have such a good-looking, kind face that may be even considered Remotely Attractive, I would have attracted my woman right away and I would not feel soo crappy and miserable today.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| I am Not looking forward to turning 30. [:_(
| January 30, 2012
|-
| It reminds me of countless times I hung out here from '05 to '07 in the enduring days of my Sweetheart Search. During most of which, I resorted to a method of attraction that I learned later "made me look retarded"; having a sign by my side stating, "##- Year Old, Single Male, searching for an 18 - ## year old Single Woman."
| January 30, 2012
|-
| February is coming up... My birthday's on the 24th... I'll be 30... Still a Virgin. I mean, MOST people lose their Virgin Marys BEFORE 21. My mother lost hers in her High School years. My Father lost his at the age of 27. "THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN"!!! DAMN IT! Abstinence is a Very Crappy Joke! It only leads to Growing, GROWing, GROWING EMOTIONAL PAIN over the extended time.
| Janurary 30, 2012
|-
| I miss hanging out with my friends too.
| January 31, 2012
|-
| Chobits. The storybooks Chi reads; they describe me. Chobits available for instant streaming on [[Netflix]]. The anime is very good in its story.
| January 31, 2012
|-
| [[:Image:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png‎|Please tell EVERYONE to Stay the HELL Away from that PLACe!!!]] ''[Note: Ad is placed underneath the status update.]''
| January 31, 2012
|-
| The best possible solution for my emotions is to ACTUALLY hang out IN PERSON. IF y'all can get away from your own businesses, romances and work to ACTUALLY Be Better Friends.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| People of [[Charlottesville, VA]] are Insensitive of others, including those of us who are Socially Worse Off than they Snobbishly are.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Bitch left w.out a reply from me. Confirmed departure; relocated self to Starbucks kiosk leaving chair as-is; Symbolic Middle-Finger to [[Jerkops]]. BTW, [[Janekop]] "threatened" to get the [[Manajerk]]. LOL.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| I am still feeling heartache; including empty-but-few-drops feeling in heart; continuing to wait for Caring, Pretty, White Female Peer.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Currenty at [[Fashion Square Mall|F.Sq. Pop]]: mild to med. Approached by B.Male Jerkop in white; asked me to re-rotate comfy chair I'm sitting in; I Ignored the S.O.B. ;j Now being approached by W. Janekop; ignoring bitch.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Heartache. heartache... [[Chris and English|helaerttttttttacheewi]].....
| February 2, 2012
|-
| I feel a little better, but the heartaches are still here. Doctor Perscribes Hanging out and having fun with some Friends, Face to Face, Three Times A Week.
| February 2, 2012
|-
| Earlier, at Toys 'R' Us, I put together a [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|Lego (Friends) Lemonade Stand]] for Alex's cause. Each Free stand built would give a dollar to support ending child cancer.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Anyhoo, after T.R.U., I went to the mall, with my normal plan in my head to sit, hang and wait for a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|Ms. Right]].
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Back to today, I took my normal once-around the mall before settling down to hang. But I impulsively decided to leave a few photos as I walked. Eventually, I settled for my hand at a table of the S.Bucks kiosk. I called my mother to check in. While ringing, a Jerkop wandered into my space; I saw one to a handful of my warning photos in his right hand. I felt shocked with surprise.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Mom answered; I played it cool with her, while I started to get up and walk away. We finished the chat; she hung up; I hung up as I walked. Then I looked back; the Jerkop following me said something. I start running to the JCP. I hid in the back for a moment to catch myself. I thought it best to leave and return another day.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Set to exit via the one with the salon, HE and an accomplice intercepted me. "You're not in any trouble", the Jerkop said; the hell I was not, or Why would the son of a bitch be chasing after me. I exited via the South exit instead. I veered my way around eastward to the Mitsu I was driving, far east from the east Belk entrance. I started along the outter edge of the parking lot. I was spotted by the accomplice, but I was too fast for him, and I was tactful hiding and weaving around the parked cars to get to mine.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| I see the acc catching up as I was close to my car. Those dumbasses probably thought to search for my [[Son-Chu|Escort]]; not a Mitsubishi. The Jerkop called out to me by name once during the mess; I was Not going to associate with ANYONE who knew me by name without my own familiarity of him/her. Cheap Internet Fame is JUST NOT WORTH A SHIT. I got into my car and escaped swiftly, leaving behind a confused accomplice.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Now I rest at an [[McDonald's|McD]] with an Arnold Palmer Tea and Apple Slices, rehydrating myself and resting while typing my story up. My Mother does NOT need to know of what happened.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Sorry, but another important point needs to be typed. The edited .jpg of Snyder's 10% coupon from NBC 29's flyer I had posted earlier on my wall, well I have recently printed 50 copies at a photo-print station at [[Wal-Mart]] a few days ago, Destined to be distributed as I went. Placed like on the table I wpuld be sitting at, or for the Mall, placed like advertising things near other ad things. Their purpose, obviously, is to Inform The Public and Masses to Stay Far Away from that PLACe, because Cyber-Bullies DO meet, hand and breed there under Snyder's approval. That PLACe WILL go down, by my will, or by someone else's fire-on-a-stick and bombs.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| On another topic, I just got hit by my horoscope today. It warned me to keep my business only to myself and associates, otherwise I'd run risk of...
| February 4, 2012
|-
| (keep my goals to myself or risk)... "Being encouraged Ad Nauseam"
| February 4, 2012
|-
| I took the horoscope to mean that I should keep my resumed Sweetheart Search quiet at the Mall today. I had planned on wearing a sign around my neck, stating non-offensively, "IF YOU LIKE ME, PLEASE TELL ME". I had also thought of playing music from my 3DS loudly through bomb-shaped mini speakers with fun faces I had purchased at Wal-Mart.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Found first two seasons of "Laguna Beach" on DVD at Goodwill with ALL matching discs included. Checking out series now; I like it so far.
| February 5, 2012
|-
|Recently, after being corrected of homo Andy Dick DID NOT star in the movie, "Napoleon Dynamite", I rented the movie from PSN. It was a fun, okay movie. Additionally, I actually watched the first two episodes of the new Animated Series on FOX before I watched the movie.
| February 5, 2012
|-
| Recently watched Graduation episode of L.B. S-1; I reflected on High School again, as well as my Graduation. I cried again.
| February 6, 2012
|-
| I Don't Know. I've observed that I felt like more often than usual. I'm still feeling lost. I'm lonely. I need face-to-face woman/friends. I'm slow on the take sometimes to often. I wish I could go back to 1999. I wish my family and I had not moved back here. My heart still aches. My soul feels broken, beaten and scarred. I dunno what to think. I Don't Know.
| February 7, 2012
|-
| Hey, Everyone! Say hello to my friend who has been offline for a while; she finally got back on and started an f.b. page for herself from my invitation, [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]. **(:D**
| February 8, 2012
|-
| Here, [[:Image:Chris_and_Jackie_Lego_Friends.png‎|my Lego Minifig counterpart is lucky with a Lego Friend]]; hopefully Jackie and I can get together and renew our relationship. :) '[Note: Picture is placed underneath the status update.]''
| February 9, 2012
|-
| [[:Image:Christian_3DS_Wii_QR_Code.png‎|My 3DS Mii QR Code]]. ''[Note: Code is placed underneath the status update.]''
| February 9, 2012
|-
| I've just finished watching the [[My Little Pony|M.L.P.]] We <3 Ponies Mare-a-thon countdown. I'm pleased "Green Isn't Your Color" made #2; I feel confused why "Luna Eclipsed" was voted #1. I liked "Look Before You Sleep" better, but considering the choices on HubWorld.com, "The Cutie-Mark Chronicles" should HAVE been the #1 episode.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| I'm just (re)informing y'all that I still feel little looking forward to my 30th [[Christian Love Day|Birthday]], and I have NO plans on or around the date. Everyone on my Friends List, you all are welcome to extend you wishes to me by U.S. Post Mail or Telephone on my cell's Voice Mail. You all are also welcome to visit me at my house (yard-visit); please call my cell and leave a message with your name and phone number, so I can return your call.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| Also, I still wait for a response from Jackie here; with her hopping a plane for a vacay suddenly, I feel concerned and worry rather or not she still longs for me (mutually) or not.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| Mom got upset with me after I got caught flipping off a Jerkop. She told me how she felt in a conflict-resolution. It hurt me. She recovered after some rest, but I still feel very sad. I feel like I deserve to be beaten up, and I do not want Michael Snyder's blood on my mother's hands.
| February 13, 2012
|-
| I'm feeling sad and lonely again. Just hang in' at McD in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckers]]. *sigh* ...
| February 13, 2012
|-
|}

== Application statuses ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler was reviewing friends' friends for [[Love Quest|dating]], using Spark
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler wants to know if you would [[Hanky-panky|do him]]? Yes? No?
|-
|[[Troll|Someone]] is checking out Christian Weston Chandler on Zoosk.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is in MOOD for a [[Rape|SWEET KISS]] from someone really special Is that YOU?
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler gave a sweet ANONYMOUS kiss to a Secret Someone special Rachel Davis Isnt this exciting?
|-
|Someone rated Christian Weston Chandler on Are YOU Sexy.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has added FunWall.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being viewed on 'Meet New People'.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added the iLike application.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added [[Chris and music|music]] to their profile
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler took the [[Sweetheart|Ideal Mate]] quiz
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler says: I feel Lonely
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being viewed on MNF
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler just added the [[Cherokian Clan|Heritage]] app.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler , New Stickers are waiting for you!
|-
|Someone Yes'd Christian Weston Chandler on MNF
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has added a new [[Son-Chu|bumper sticker]]
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is checking out Are You Interested?!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has created a playlist called [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CWC\'s Jams]].
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler voted for his favorite version of a song
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler listened to the song
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being flirted with on 'Meet New People'.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is checking out Meet New People!
|-
|Update! Top Friends News from Christian Weston Chandler!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found someone interesting on Mesmo [[Chris and television|TV]] Match
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler took a quiz
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added [[Family Guy|TV favorites]] to their profile using Mesmo TV
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is passing teammates in TV Show Trivia
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found out which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|sexual position]] is best for him
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|Naughty Genie]] and is granting naughty wishes to friends
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has made a naughty [[China|wish]] to Linda DeLorme. Linda DeLorme must now fulfill it.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler granted a naughty wish back to Linda DeLorme
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler joined the Compare HOTNESS Tournament!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has just sent a new post.
|-
|Someone flirted with Christian Weston Chandler!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found a lucky Facebook [[Homos|Fairy]]!
|-
|Naughty Genie granted Christian Weston Chandler a Wish
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is playing the Sex Appeal game.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler sent Frog playing banjo gift to Jessica Gombert
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Smiley from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler sent Rachel Reynolds a Juno Movie Message.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler voted for Melissa Williams for FB Models.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has a Blue heart !
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Nosey from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Bluey from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Spotty from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler gained a Scratch And Win title
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has been loved
|}

[[Category: Websites]]
[[Category: Historical Documents]]

Talk:Facebook statuses

2012-03-14T03:21:09Z

Westbound: /* Facebook is back */

should i include just Chris's own statuses or all the annoying as shit application generated ones? -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 00:40, 13 November 2010 (PST)
: Verbatim status updates he wrote - and maybe just mention the crappy applications he's been seen to use. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 03:48, 13 November 2010 (PST)

Wikify this biznitch.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:05, 13 November 2010 (PST)

== Facebook is back ==

ok i dont have the time but i believe that the files here
http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chfb1.png
http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chfb2.png
http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Chfb3.png

Contain pretty much all of the new facebook status updates.

so to quote someone famous "improve it faggots!"
: I'll go ahead and add them in. [[User:Flecko|Flecko]] 10:15, 24 February 2012 (PST)
: I went ahead and put most of them in. I still have to add the ones from the [[:Image:Chfb4.png|fourth picture]], but I can't do it right now. Anyone feel free to add more or fix what I fucked up (if I did by accident or unknowingly; I'm still new to Wiki editing). [[User:Flecko|Flecko]] 12:52, 24 February 2012 (PST)

Added the rest. Enjoy. [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 20:21, 13 March 2012 (PDT)

Facebook statuses

2012-03-14T03:19:42Z

Westbound:

Chris had funny [[Facebook]] statuses on his old profile, and continues to have them on his current profile.

Heh.
{{Needs Updating}}
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is [[Feel So Lonesome|lonesome]] and playin' his [[Video games|videogame]].
| January 10, [[2008]] at 12:37am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome and playin' his videogame.
| January 10, 2008 at 12:39am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome and waitin' at the [[University of Virginia|Alderman Library]]
| January 16, 2008 at 3:00am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at [[14 Branchland Court|home]].
| January 18, 2008 at 8:45pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at home and tired of the snow.
| January 22, 2008 at 3:37am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is lonesome at home
| January 23, 2008 at 8:17pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library Lounge This Afternoon.
| January 23, 2008 at 8:20pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge This Afternoon.
| January 24, 2008 at 2:23am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 24, 2008 at 4:59pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at [[The GAMe PLACe|The Game Place]] this evening for [[Pokémon|Pokemon]] League.
| January 24, 2008 at 11:52pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 25, 2008 at 5:36pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be attending the early service at his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]]
| January 26, 2008 at 10:18pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| January 27, 2008 at 6:01pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge this Afternoon
| January 28, 2008 at 7:27pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at the UVA's Alderman Library's Lounge this Afternoon, [[Virgin with rage|and I am real lonely.]]
| January 28, 2008 at 9:11pm
|-
| I'm not seeing any NEW posts on my wall, please write something pleasant, some [[Gal-pal|gal]].
| January 29, 2008 at 3:13am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at The Game Place this evening for Pokemon League.
| January 31, 2008 at 10:17pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be attending the early service at his church
| February 2, 2008 at 7:14pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| February 7, 2008 at 9:23am
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler will be at The Game Place this evening for Pokemon League.
| February 7, 2008 at 4:56pm
|-
| Christian Weston Chandler is at home
| February 12, 2008 at 3:44pm
|-
| Open Question; Please Answer. Am I Good Looking or handsome?
| January 29, 2012
|-
| Here is a suggestion, and it would greatly be appreciated. Download (To your phone or handheld), or
Perferably (color) Print, my Profile Photo. Share with me as many of y'all's female friends. Ask them each if they think I look cute, good, attractive or not. And if they ask, tell them I am single. And if they ask How I am still single; DO NOT HESITATE to inform them, "He is very shy and high-functionally autistic." TELL THEM NOT TO GOOGLE MY NAME, or just leave my name out of the conversation.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| Well, still an open question, do I look attractive in my most current photograph, featured Profile Photo?
| January 30, 2012
|-
| During a time of which, "Pacing" with said sign stuck onto original DS played the role. I was considered "Crazy", but my actions were greatly misunderstood by the people. "Soliciting?"?!! I had no understanding or awareness of that term until after I was handcuffed Twice; Recorded on file once. I had little respect to the Jerkops in colors other then blue or black. After October 28, 2011; I know have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called "Officers of the Badge."
| January 30, 2012
|-
| At the capital F.Sq Mall; Population: Mild to medium.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| It really makes me feel soo sad, lonely and disappointed to feel soo INVISIBLE IN PUBLIC. I could just Stand in Walking Traffic, and I would ONLY be overlooked and walked through like a ghost of sad, lonely pasts
| January 30, 2012
|-
| I mean, ANYONE can feel sorry for somebody who is worse off, but do THEY actually do ANYTHING for that person? The answer is No. Another thing that makes me sad.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| This Charlottesville "Community" is FULL of Ignorant, Uncaring, Snooty, Snobish Corrupted People.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| Time and Time again, I saw Very Little Success in Attracion. If "Good Looks" attract the opposite gender, and if I have such a good-looking, kind face that may be even considered Remotely Attractive, I would have attracted my woman right away and I would not feel soo crappy and miserable today.
| January 30, 2012
|-
| I am Not looking forward to turning 30. [:_(
| January 30, 2012
|-
| It reminds me of countless times I hung out here from '05 to '07 in the enduring days of my Sweetheart Search. During most of which, I resorted to a method of attraction that I learned later "made me look retarded"; having a sign by my side stating, "##- Year Old, Single Male, searching for an 18 - ## year old Single Woman."
| January 30, 2012
|-
| February is coming up... My birthday's on the 24th... I'll be 30... Still a Virgin. I mean, MOST people lose their Virgin Marys BEFORE 21. My mother lost hers in her High School years. My Father lost his at the age of 27. "THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN"!!! DAMN IT! Abstinence is a Very Crappy Joke! It only leads to Growing, GROWing, GROWING EMOTIONAL PAIN over the extended time.
| Janurary 30, 2012
|-
| I miss hanging out with my friends too.
| January 31, 2012
|-
| Chobits. The storybooks Chi reads; they describe me. Chobits available for instant streaming on [[Netflix]]. The anime is very good in its story.
| January 31, 2012
|-
| [[:Image:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png‎|Please tell EVERYONE to Stay the HELL Away from that PLACe!!!]] ''[Note: Ad is placed underneath the status update.]''
| January 31, 2012
|-
| The best possible solution for my emotions is to ACTUALLY hang out IN PERSON. IF y'all can get away from your own businesses, romances and work to ACTUALLY Be Better Friends.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| People of [[Charlottesville, VA]] are Insensitive of others, including those of us who are Socially Worse Off than they Snobbishly are.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Bitch left w.out a reply from me. Confirmed departure; relocated self to Starbucks kiosk leaving chair as-is; Symbolic Middle-Finger to [[Jerkops]]. BTW, [[Janekop]] "threatened" to get the [[Manajerk]]. LOL.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| I am still feeling heartache; including empty-but-few-drops feeling in heart; continuing to wait for Caring, Pretty, White Female Peer.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Currenty at [[Fashion Square Mall|F.Sq. Pop]]: mild to med. Approached by B.Male Jerkop in white; asked me to re-rotate comfy chair I'm sitting in; I Ignored the S.O.B. ;j Now being approached by W. Janekop; ignoring bitch.
| February 1, 2012
|-
| Heartache. heartache... [[Chris and English|helaerttttttttacheewi]].....
| February 2, 2012
|-
| I feel a little better, but the heartaches are still here. Doctor Perscribes Hanging out and having fun with some Friends, Face to Face, Three Times A Week.
| February 2, 2012
|-
| Earlier, at Toys 'R' Us, I put together a [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|Lego (Friends) Lemonade Stand]] for Alex's cause. Each Free stand built would give a dollar to support ending child cancer.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Anyhoo, after T.R.U., I went to the mall, with my normal plan in my head to sit, hang and wait for a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|Ms. Right]].
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Back to today, I took my normal once-around the mall before settling down to hang. But I impulsively decided to leave a few photos as I walked. Eventually, I settled for my hand at a table of the S.Bucks kiosk. I called my mother to check in. While ringing, a Jerkop wandered into my space; I saw one to a handful of my warning photos in his right hand. I felt shocked with surprise.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Mom answered; I played it cool with her, while I started to get up and walk away. We finished the chat; she hung up; I hung up as I walked. Then I looked back; the Jerkop following me said something. I start running to the JCP. I hid in the back for a moment to catch myself. I thought it best to leave and return another day.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Set to exit via the one with the salon, HE and an accomplice intercepted me. "You're not in any trouble", the Jerkop said; the hell I was not, or Why would the son of a bitch be chasing after me. I exited via the South exit instead. I veered my way around eastward to the Mitsu I was driving, far east from the east Belk entrance. I started along the outter edge of the parking lot. I was spotted by the accomplice, but I was too fast for him, and I was tactful hiding and weaving around the parked cars to get to mine.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| I see the acc catching up as I was close to my car. Those dumbasses probably thought to search for my [[Son-Chu|Escort]]; not a Mitsubishi. The Jerkop called out to me by name once during the mess; I was Not going to associate with ANYONE who knew me by name without my own familiarity of him/her. Cheap Internet Fame is JUST NOT WORTH A SHIT. I got into my car and escaped swiftly, leaving behind a confused accomplice.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Now I rest at an [[McDonald's|McD]] with an Arnold Palmer Tea and Apple Slices, rehydrating myself and resting while typing my story up. My Mother does NOT need to know of what happened.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Sorry, but another important point needs to be typed. The edited .jpg of Snyder's 10% coupon from NBC 29's flyer I had posted earlier on my wall, well I have recently printed 50 copies at a photo-print station at [[Wal-Mart]] a few days ago, Destined to be distributed as I went. Placed like on the table I wpuld be sitting at, or for the Mall, placed like advertising things near other ad things. Their purpose, obviously, is to Inform The Public and Masses to Stay Far Away from that PLACe, because Cyber-Bullies DO meet, hand and breed there under Snyder's approval. That PLACe WILL go down, by my will, or by someone else's fire-on-a-stick and bombs.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| On another topic, I just got hit by my horoscope today. It warned me to keep my business only to myself and associates, otherwise I'd run risk of...
| February 4, 2012
|-
| (keep my goals to myself or risk)... "Being encouraged Ad Nauseam"
| February 4, 2012
|-
| I took the horoscope to mean that I should keep my resumed Sweetheart Search quiet at the Mall today. I had planned on wearing a sign around my neck, stating non-offensively, "IF YOU LIKE ME, PLEASE TELL ME". I had also thought of playing music from my 3DS loudly through bomb-shaped mini speakers with fun faces I had purchased at Wal-Mart.
| February 4, 2012
|-
| Found first two seasons of "Laguna Beach" on DVD at Goodwill with ALL matching discs included. Checking out series now; I like it so far.
| February 5, 2012
|-
|Recently, after being corrected of homo Andy Dick DID NOT star in the movie, "Napoleon Dynamite", I rented the movie from PSN. It was a fun, okay movie. Additionally, I actually watched the first two episodes of the new Animated Series on FOX before I watched the movie.
| February 5, 2012
|-
| Recently watched Graduation episode of L.B. S-1; I reflected on High School again, as well as my Graduation. I cried again.
| February 6, 2012
|-
| I Don't Know. I've observed that I felt like more often than usual. I'm still feeling lost. I'm lonely. I need face-to-face woman/friends. I'm slow on the take sometimes to often. I wish I could go back to 1999. I wish my family and I had not moved back here. My heart still aches. My soul feels broken, beaten and scarred. I dunno what to think. I Don't Know.
| February 7, 2012
|-
| Hey, Everyone! Say hello to my friend who has been offline for a while; she finally got back on and started an f.b. page for herself from my invitation, [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]. **(:D**
| February 8, 2012
|-
| Here, [[:Image:Chris_and_Jackie_Lego_Friends.png‎|my Lego Minifig counterpart is lucky with a Lego Friend]]; hopefully Jackie and I can get together and renew our relationship. :) '[Note: Picture is placed underneath the status update.]''
| February 9, 2012
|-
| [[:Image:Christian_3DS_Wii_QR_Code.png‎|My 3DS Mii QR Code]]. ''[Note: Code is placed underneath the status update.]''
| February 9, 2012
|-
| I've just finished watching the [[My Little Pony|M.L.P.]] We <3 Ponies Mare-a-thon countdown. I'm pleased "Green Isn't Your Color" made #2; I feel confused why "Luna Eclipsed" was voted #1. I liked "Look Before You Sleep" better, but considering the choices on HubWorld.com, "The Cutie-Mark Chronicles" should HAVE been the #1 episode.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| I'm just (re)informing y'all that I still feel little looking forward to my 30th [[Christian Love Day|Birthday]], and I have NO plans on or around the date. Everyone on my Friends List, you all are welcome to extend you wishes to me by U.S. Post Mail or Telephone on my cell's Voice Mail. You all are also welcome to visit me at my house (yard-visit); please call my cell and leave a message with your name and phone number, so I can return your call.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| Also, I still wait for a response from Jackie here; with her hopping a plane for a vacay suddenly, I feel concerned and worry rather or not she still longs for me (mutually) or not.
| February 11, 2012
|-
| Mom got upset with me after I got caught flipping off a Jerkop. She told me how she felt in a conflict-resolution. It hurt me. She recovered after some rest, but I still feel very sad. I feel like I deserve to be beaten up, and I do not want Michael Snyder's blood on my mother's hands.
| February 13, 2012
|-
| I'm feeling sad and lonely again. Just hang in' at McD in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckers]]. *sigh* ...
| February 13, 2012
|-
|}

== Application statuses ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler was reviewing friends' friends for [[Love Quest|dating]], using Spark
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler wants to know if you would [[Hanky-panky|do him]]? Yes? No?
|-
|[[Troll|Someone]] is checking out Christian Weston Chandler on Zoosk.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is in MOOD for a [[Rape|SWEET KISS]] from someone really special Is that YOU?
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler gave a sweet ANONYMOUS kiss to a Secret Someone special Rachel Davis Isnt this exciting?
|-
|Someone rated Christian Weston Chandler on Are YOU Sexy.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has added FunWall.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being viewed on 'Meet New People'.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added the iLike application.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added [[Chris and music|music]] to their profile
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler took the [[Sweetheart|Ideal Mate]] quiz
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler says: I feel Lonely
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being viewed on MNF
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler just added the [[Cherokian Clan|Heritage]] app.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler , New Stickers are waiting for you!
|-
|Someone Yes'd Christian Weston Chandler on MNF
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has added a new [[Son-Chu|bumper sticker]]
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is checking out Are You Interested?!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has created a playlist called [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CWC\'s Jams]].
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler voted for his favorite version of a song
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler listened to the song
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is being flirted with on 'Meet New People'.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is checking out Meet New People!
|-
|Update! Top Friends News from Christian Weston Chandler!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found someone interesting on Mesmo [[Chris and television|TV]] Match
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler took a quiz
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler added [[Family Guy|TV favorites]] to their profile using Mesmo TV
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is passing teammates in TV Show Trivia
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found out which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|sexual position]] is best for him
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|Naughty Genie]] and is granting naughty wishes to friends
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has made a naughty [[China|wish]] to Linda DeLorme. Linda DeLorme must now fulfill it.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler granted a naughty wish back to Linda DeLorme
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler joined the Compare HOTNESS Tournament!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has just sent a new post.
|-
|Someone flirted with Christian Weston Chandler!
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler found a lucky Facebook [[Homos|Fairy]]!
|-
|Naughty Genie granted Christian Weston Chandler a Wish
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler is playing the Sex Appeal game.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler sent Frog playing banjo gift to Jessica Gombert
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Smiley from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler sent Rachel Reynolds a Juno Movie Message.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler voted for Melissa Williams for FB Models.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has a Blue heart !
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Nosey from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Bluey from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler accepted a Spotty from Jessica Gombert.
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler gained a Scratch And Win title
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler has been loved
|}

[[Category: Websites]]
[[Category: Historical Documents]]

Apology for 9/11 Joke

2012-03-09T18:02:38Z

Westbound: Rolled back recent edits so this actually stays humorous.

'''Apology for 9/11 Joke''' is a video uploaded on 2 [[November 2009]]. In this video, Chris tries to pull an excuse for the disgusting 9/11 reference he did in [[Twin Falling Towers|his last video]]. Then, to add insult to injury, he starts to [[Chris and music|butcher "God Bless America"]] until he notices that he doesn't know the lyrics and that substituting lyrics from the [[America]]n national anthem just doesn't do any good. The video ends with another lame attempt to scare away [[Clyde Cash]].

Chris says he's making amends by showing a new picture for the joke, but instead of creating a new picture from scratch, the birthday candles in the cake picture are the towers copy-pasted directly from the World Trade Center photoshop, but with the ''tops removed and set on fire'', because no one combines [[Chris and death|insensitivity]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|laziness]] like Chris. Once again, the responses were very negative, all stating that it was done only to save face and nothing more (which is the truth).

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Apology for 9/11 Joke
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rNDfdFCHU2U}}
| Stardate = November 2, 2009
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| previous = [[It will never end]]
| next = [[11032009 Preface to Rescuing Kacey|Preface to Rescuing Kacey]]
}}

{{quote|I personally feel saddened of the day of 9/11, I care about its offenses, like the next person, anybody.}}

=== Transcript ===
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the uhh recent video I uploaded, which obviously was [[Random-access humor|a t-terrible joke]]. I had no intention of e- of, uh, of offending anybody on such a wo- worldwide manner, all- I was meant only to offend [[Clyde]] and to note on [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|how weak he was]]. I felt, I personally feel saddened of the day of 9/11, I care about its offenses, like the next person, anybody. Ser- I, seriously, I- I'm a [[Chris and Welfare|good American]].

God bless America...

[''Begins to sing offkey''] "God bless Americcaaa, land of the freeee... and the home of the brave..."

Anyway yeah, it was mainly intended for, uh, Clyde and to offend him, and I had no idea or intention of the worldwide massive offensive.
So again, I am so sorry for making that Photoshop pic, and making that terrible joke. I love America. I was born in America and I am proud to be an American.

[''Deep breath'']

[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|"...just like the candles on a birthday cake."]]

But anyway instead of that, uh, I have though- I have made up an alternate joke. Yeah. Ok. I will snuff out Clyde because he is so weak, I will snuff him out, just like the candles on a birthday cake.

[''Blows'']

[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|I will snuff him out]] like a birthday cake candle.

[''Blows'']

My apologies there, I had that layer hidden for a bit. I mean I had a layer about that and I made it hidden. But anyway yeah, I will snuff him out like candles on a birthday cake.

And again, I apologize for the bad joke. I have already taken- the staff already deleted it, and I wish for- and I would appreciate forgiveness just like the next person and I promise it will not happen again.

God bless America... [''gives a victory and thumbs-up signs'']

Have a good safe day.

===Apology image text===
I, Christian Weston Chandler, deeply and humbly apologize for the misuse of the previous joke pic with the towers. I personally felt saddened the day of 9/11, and I cared about it's effects [[Autism|just like the next person]], and I feel empathetic for those injured, [[Chris and death|dead]], and [[Clyde Cash|those who lost their loved ones]] on that day, whos names are listed on the memorial plaque at the location now.

The joke was mainly directed to how [[I AM STRONG|WEAK]] Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.

So, again, I am soo sorry for making that photoshopped pic and making such a terrible joke.

==See also==
*[[Twin Falling Towers|CWC did WTC]]
*[[A near public apology]]
*[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]
*[[Chris and Remorse]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[It will never end|It Will Never End]]|nextlink=[[11032009 Preface to Rescuing Kacey|Preface to Rescuing Kacey]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2009| 2009-11-02]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-11-02]]
[[Category:Gay Spider-Man videos| 2009-11-02]]

Talk:Facebook

2012-02-23T16:53:49Z

Westbound:

==To Do==
*archive the messages on a separate page ([[Facebook messages]] works)
*maybe make a separate page to mirror Chris's Facebook account (to clarify, his Facebook page as it appeared before it was hacked - --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:20, 2 June 2009 (CEST))
*include his notes (maybe a separate page for that too, actually)

As for this page, maybe just outline the extent Chris used Facebook, highlight some of the stuff with it, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:09, 1 June 2009 (CEST)

To put it bluntly; this page needs more words. Some of the messages are very funny when juxtaposed. He would rather go out with a jailbait 17 year old "party girl" (read:slut) than a empathetic single mom. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 23:44, 1 June 2009 (CEST)
* A general commentary for the current themes that pop up in Chris's [[Facebook messages]] and in his Facebook page and notes are more warranted than commentary for each and every individual e-mail.

I know that the Miyamoto Saga e-mails have a commentary of it but most of it is from Clyde (RIP) who provides a commentary on what he was saying as he lost the original sent e-mails from when he was Miyamoto.

But really, I think just a general commentary is needed and that Chris's messages are far more amusing and should speak for themselves. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:55, 2 June 2009 (CEST)

Whatever you say, hoss. Mind was a little skewed due to rage.

What to do STILL - Go through his statuses. How lonesome is this fuck going to be? evenmore.zip [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:59, 19 September 2010 (PDT)

==Collapsible gallery==

Oh, and can we make the gallery collapsible? I know standard wiki formatting has the gallery at the bottom, but, like you said, they speak for themselves, so a general commentary would be more aesthetically pleasing below it. Gives the reader space to grasp the fucktardedness before adding our POV. Just a suggestion.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:51, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

*A collapsible gallery would be great, but can you make one? God help us that none of us can't edit unless it's basic shit like making templates (read: copy and pasting stuff from Wikipedia templates, lol), editing pages, etc. Seriously, we could use collapsible galleries in a lot of pages but no one has gotten around to it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:50, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

* Oh, damn, I assumed you were a senior wikifag. I'll see what I can do, it can't be too difficult, right? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:17, 4 June 2009 (CEST)

* I am a wikifag. See [[Template:Collapsible]]. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 03:31, 5 June 2009 (CEST)

==Has Chris regained use of this profile, or is it still under troll control?==
I was under the impression he got it back, but it seems not long ago he posted a status that was pretty clearly a troll. I'm mostly an idiot so there's a good chance this was obvious somewhere long ago, but the article doesn't really address what happened to the profile after trolls hijacked it. Is that something that could be included? --[[User:Bluedeanie|Bluedeanie]] 10:28, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

== He's still using Facebook ==

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Christian-Weston-Chandler/167832525915

Might wanna update that link.

*LOOKS LEGI- Oh wait. NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 19:53, 27 January 2011 (PST)
Gotta go with Freecell on this one...There is no way in hell this is Chris's facebook...though the going to the bar and bring his DS is something Chris has done before... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:46, 27 January 2011 (PST)

*What about [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000426003596 this one?] --[[User:Morbid Duck|Morbid Duck]] 18:43, 22 April 2011 (PDT)
# "This is my real facebook. I had to make a new one due to all these trolls HARASSING ME AND HACKING MY ACCOUNT"
# Uses an old picture everyone has
# "Proud too say I'm still a virgin :)" group
# Talking about Skyrim without a computer
Not Chris. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 07:17, 23 April 2011 (PDT)

*This just appeared on my "you might know this person" sidebar on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 [[User:frozenblwf|Frozenblwf]]

*That one seems pretty legit, Frozenblwf. A pic no one has seen before and the profile is private (so obviously not trying to grab everyone's attention). Good find! --[[User:Elliebytes|Elliebytes]] 16:48, 5 July 2011 (PDT)

*Also, note he is wearing ear rings in both ears. Which means they are recent due to him getting his ears pierced. My money is on this being legit. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:07, 6 July 2011 (PDT)CFA

*Looks like the page has been deleted. [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 03:53, 7 July 2011 (PDT)

*One of the Bobs on facebook is friends with this account, but I'm pretty sure it's not him because the photo is too old. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1801600742 [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 03:15, 13 July 2011 (PDT)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 will take you to Chris's facebook profile that uses his typical "chrischansonichu@aol.com" email address. This is a profile picture we've never seen (or at least I don't think we have)*NOTE: It says it was added THIS monday, the 23 of January 2012, so yes, he's still using facebook. It will need a screen cap added. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:42, 25 January 2012 (PST)
*There's also a note he's published about what he wants in a girl...it's pretty hilariously chris:
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT
-Caring, Sweet, Honest
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better
-NOT A Smoker
-Social Drinker or non-alcoholic
-Upfront
-No STDs
-Carefree/Light-Hearted
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)
-Takative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches
-Brunette or Blonde hair
-B-Cup size minimum
-Clean
-Casual
-Not Crazy or Abusive
-Make-Up Optional
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:46, 25 January 2012 (PST)
: Doesn't look like Tineye or Google Reverse Image Search are turning up anything, either. Guess it is a new picture. I used to know how to pull someone's full profile picture, but I don't remember anymore. I'll see if I can find it. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 08:47, 25 January 2012 (PST)
::I was so intent on dicking around that I didn't realise that his full profile picture is readily available. Never mind. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 09:04, 25 January 2012 (PST)
: Oh my atheist god, he just doesn't get it. While the picture is arguably an improvement over the old ones, this list is... just... just... it has the Chris-essence condensed and distilled in it. It creeps me out. - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 09:05, 25 January 2012 (PST)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian_Weston_Chandler/579729310
** In [[Facebook]] on 2011-09-20 22:38:31, 404 Not Found
** In [[Facebook]] on 2011-09-28 08:04:22, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:04, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Closed/Privatized ==

I can no longer find his account under chrischansonichu@aol.com; he has either closed it or listed it to private. He had a 'facebook friend' named Kim Wilson who is still listed though. Should it be mentioned in the article that as of Valentines day Chris no longer had a visible facebook page? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:26, 15 February 2012 (PST)

==Recent leaks==

As stated previously by the February 2012 page, some screencaps of Chris Facebook wall have been leaked, can we put it on the article or is it too early (a risk of Chris seeing them and leave the internet)--
ADDENDUM : The file name are Chfb1.png to Chfb4.png (uploaded by a user named Westbound)
[[User:René Duprée|René Duprée]] 13:02, 17 February 2012 (PST)

I doubt anyone would mind you adding them as long as they don't make it on the update right away. [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 08:53, 23 February 2012 (PST)

File:Chfb4.png

2012-02-17T17:13:59Z

Westbound: Facebook

Facebook

File:Chfb3.png

2012-02-17T17:13:44Z

Westbound: Facebook

Facebook

File:Chfb2.png

2012-02-17T17:13:26Z

Westbound: Facebook

Facebook

File:Chfb1.png

2012-02-17T17:13:07Z

Westbound: Facebook

Facebook

Cole Smithey

2011-11-30T00:06:57Z

Westbound: /* Gallery */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age 48)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Barbara]] (mother) [[Jack Dale Smithey]] (supposed father) [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (presumed actual father) [[Jerry Harmon]] (supposed stepfather) [[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail #1]]</ref>}}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son and the lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

He currently lives in Manhattan and is a noted film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.<ref>http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/</ref> He achieved notoriety in Time Magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to Toy Story 3.<ref>http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/</ref>

==Childhood==
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|left|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook]]

Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> As a child, Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his "stepfather" [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref>

Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married to, but records show she wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref> Cole suspected, and later confirmed, that his biological father was [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

==Move to California==
Cole left Virginia for California, attending San Diego State University from 1981-1984, and earning degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College in similar fields of study.<ref>http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa</ref> While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called "The Rockin’ Dogs". The band lasted from 1981-1985.<ref>The Rockin’ Dogs
</ref>{{clear}}

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole wasn't on good terms with [[Bob]] and not even with [[Barbara]]. [[Bob]] worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref> In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks him to let him know when Bob dies, so that he can celebrate.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Barbara continued to lie about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]].

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.
{{clear}}

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Ironically, Cole actually gets along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb (or at least he used to; it's unclear whether the two are still in regular contact), and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save "[[Julie]]").

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts, his presumed father, had died a month beforehand.<ref>[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]</ref> Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.

===Cole in the comics===
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_tmTKDDOk4&feature=mh_lolz&list=HL1315402139 Cole Smithey acting in a Gaumont produced student film shot in Cannes during the '92 Festival. ]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

File:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg

2011-11-30T00:04:47Z

Westbound: Cole Smithey in The Rockin' Dogs.

Cole Smithey in The Rockin' Dogs.

Victory Rockout

2011-08-28T06:22:44Z

Westbound:

{{Recent}}
'''Victory Rockout''' (Originally Skyrim Victory.mp4) is a video uploaded early in the morning of 28 [[August 2011]] by the YouTube user "CWCvilleProductions". In the video, Chris flails around a [[Guitar Hero]] controller while dancing to a metal remix of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim theme. It appears to be created in response to [[Thorg]]'s retirement from Trolling, referencing Thorg's love for the Elder Scrolls.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Victory Rockout
| video = {{#ev:youtube|41cBjmYezm8}}
| stardate = 28 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
-eah we got victory! I won, it's victory! Victory for all fans, everybodys! [Clipped] is gonna get their kickin', BAM BAM BAM! Bam! I kicked your head in, you damn (something) bullies! Whee!

You bullies are really, really stupid, and trolls are really, really stupid. Hey you bullies are really, really stupid, Team Rocket's stupid, you're stupid, you're stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!

Hello Ian! Why is your last name Brandon Anderson? JUUUUUULAAAYYYYYY! *CWC screeches something*

Victory over the trolls! I'm also the creator of the electric hedgehog [[Pokemon]]! Yeah!

So you can kiss it! It! Kiss it! Kiss it!

And I paid ten dollars for this guitar and game combo, at a garage sale a couple weeks ago! I only paid ten dollars FOR Fallout: New Vegas when it was on sale a previous time!

Troll, you're so jinxed (?). One thing for everything... INCORRECT!

The CWCki's a damn lie! It's a [''clipped''], false implications! Truths and [[honest]] contents plague inside the contents [???]

Never-the CWCki no matter what! If you ask questions, ask me personally! All they tell you is exaggeration and lies! They're all trolls and bullies!

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

*turns off camera*

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]|nextlink=[[Victory Rockout|Current]]}}

Calling Out

2011-08-07T15:59:10Z

Westbound: /* Transcript */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of three [[videos]] Chris uploaded on 6 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting a new earring in these videos, which may or may not be a real piercing. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
This video, also known as '''101 2461''' , Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information as to the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka Don). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
''[Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right]''

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a TV-Y7 rated...[[Chris and english|friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]...it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

''[Jerks camera around more]''

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate negotiations and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years...n- for the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have some information of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and english|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]...or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. ''[Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.]''

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network|PlayStation Network]] hackings...directly to Sony Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment [[Anime|Japan]] with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to...Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking the Playstation Network and all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal-Pals|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me...and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would also like you to set me to send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long small, white envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cr-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki|CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done things things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my [[Lie|life]], my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be. For the rest of our lives. In peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out "Thorg" (aka Jeremy) and again, sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbully, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And here is a sample of his [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[media:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- and had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Lie|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

[[Fail|I win]].

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands - 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
''[Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face]''

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- Surfshack Tito and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August, 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will each be trolled by your own trolls, and the police will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands before August 31, 2011.

''[Fumbles with the camera again, almost dropping it]''

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-06]]

Kacey

2011-08-05T14:58:03Z

Westbound: /* The Love Quest */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Kacey.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Kacey
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Kacey Devoria
|-
| '''Full name'''
| Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 30 June 1983
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Matt Devoria]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| Kale Devoria (elder brother) Kara Devoria (little sister)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[Liquid Chris]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
|Nursing/Biology undergraduate
|-
|}

'''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler''', née '''Devoria''' (born 30 June [[1983]]), is the [[sweetheart]] of [[Liquid Chris]] who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]", "[[china|kind]]" personality, as Ian believes all women do. As Ian is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!

==Background==

Basically, Ian became enraged with jealousy that [[Liquid]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and come all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man, it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Ian was trying to trick her.

Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] the impostor has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that <s>becomes</s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note is that Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris's [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part, Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the real Chris. Ian, of course, never notices.

As revealed by Ian in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr and Mrs D (Devoria).

Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.

==Contact with Ian==

On 3 [[August 2009]], Ian sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.

On 4 August 2009, Ian created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.

Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Ian tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood, he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proved he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or he'd put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never noticed the glaring differences while he [[recycling|ate]] his own [[navy]] off of her.

==The Love Quest==

Once [[Liquid Chris#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Ian and Kacey began to emerge. In Ian's [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Ian would later officially proclaim his love for her in the [[fail|creatively]] titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared. This often was hour long phone calls which consisted of Kacey mocking Ian relentlessly, which did not nothing to distract him from trying to get [[China]].

In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Ian graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Ian implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Ian as friends.

However, Ian being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Ian's Sinatra-esque tones]].

==The end of Kacey==

Ian and Kacey's <s>friendship</s> love affair continued for a while afterward, until Ian got into an [[Father Call|argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Ian's chances were utterly dashed after she got a hold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing go and ''shoot'' Liquid. Horrified, Kacey scorned Ian for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call|a final phone call to him]], never to return. Ian would later upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.

With the release of [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|the ''actual'' final phone call between Kacey and Ian,]] it is shown that Kacey is very wise about Ian's dealings. Following the end of the call, Kacey makes an assumption about Ian never mentioning her again. While he does in [[CWC is sad]], the very next day after said video, a new video is released where [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|Ian is smiling from ear to ear.]] The very next day. The coincidence is stunning.

==Marriage to Liquid==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|The happy couple.]]

Liquid and Kacey were married on 11 [[November 2009]], at 2 p.m. EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Solid tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|copyright papers]], which, as you probably guessed, [[Fail|failed miserably]].

Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid Chris resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].

==See also==
*[[Kacey calls]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
*[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Devoria, Kacey}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Talk:Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia

2011-07-20T20:44:31Z

Westbound:

I think this needs further wikifying, and we need to update other pages accordingly to reference this. This forum contains the use of several CWC-isms we haven't seen for a while, and it also makes the first reference to Dating Education or Chris's parents since GodJesus knows when. I also need to ask whether or not an "analysis" section summarising everything we learned about Chris from this would be overdoing it or not? Just something about the footnotes style of things like the google search information stuck between posts just makes the page seem messy to me. Also, whoever it was who came up with this forum and set it up, I will personally fly over to wherever you live and give you a blowjob for this. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:51, 20 July 2011 (PDT)

Would it be presumptuous to say this could be a troll? Was there any conclusive evidence that it's not babby's first "Lol if I copy Chris' mannerisms then I can be epin"? Consider: less sporadic Use of Capital Letters, being as blatant as possible without screaming "I'M CHRIS" and no corroborating evidence to suggest it's him. Barring chats with Kim being released (if only) or the Dilluminati confirming I would take this with a grain of salt. [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 07:59, 20 July 2011 (PDT)
*Maybe Chris is *gasp* CHANGING. Seriously, this is Chris. I don't tolerate fake shit on the CWCki. As much as PVCC would like to, I would not allow them to post something from Chris unless it actually was (and this is actually from Chris). Seriously, you people who think that someone is Chris just because they have a similar name to a user name is Chris, yet something that actually with Chris arouses skepticism. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:49, 20 July 2011 (PDT)
* http://i.imgur.com/zuIHZ.png [[User:Canine|Canine]] 09:38, 20 July 2011 (PDT)
*Sir I am both shocked ''and'' appalled that you would even question the validity of this bountiful harvest of Chris stuff. MAYBE I'LL JUST HAUL IT ALL BACK TO PVCC AND GIVE IT TO A TROLL WHO WILL APPRECIATE IT? --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 11:10, 20 July 2011 (PDT)
*Thanks Thorgnzorrg, this is a riot. The profile information Chris has for Kookydashy is pretty hilarious so I threw a quick pic at the introduction. [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 13:44, 20 July 2011 (PDT)

== The PIctures ==

Not that it really really pertains to Chris, but for validity's sake...aren't both "pictures" of Suchin... Suchin gives us the first picture and the Tippy says that he/she got a picture to remember the night... I'm assuming it's OF Suchin, not of Tippy. I'm going to change the name under the picture, if I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 12:21, 20 July 2011 (PDT)
*Both pictures are Suchin. Tippy made the post in which the secont Suchin picture was posted. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 12:31, 20 July 2011 (PDT)
** The picture said Tippy so I changed it. That's what I was referring to. Unless it was Tippy after he put on Suchin's lingerie...they said they'd share (or more accurately Suchin liked to share). --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 12:42, 20 July 2011 (PDT)

Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia

2011-07-20T20:41:45Z

Westbound:

'''Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia''' was a faux forum established in late [[April 2011]] in an attempt to lure [[Chris]] into an online community of [[Tomgirl|tomgirls]]; a [[Trollin' Train]] 2.0 of sorts. However this proved to be far more bountiful in that unlike Trollin' Train (where Chris was making up stories under a false persona), Chris was posting as himself under the alias "Kookydashy". This resulted in several stories of his exploits as a tomgirl that, to say the least, made the effort more than worth it. Chris posted on and off, trying his best to conceal his identity in the most obvious way possible. Below are his T&ToV posts, with blue representing Chris' posts and red representing posts in the threads he was responding to.

== Posts ==
===Re: Introductions!===
In which Chris openly announces he is Christian Weston Chandler as much as he can without actually saying it.

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Kookydashy: Interests include breasts, pussy, and autism awareness.]]

{{quotebox|Hello, fellow tomgirls. :)

Y'all may address me by my screen name in the board talk. I like music, makeup, [[homos|dressin' up]] in my mini, havin' fun 'n hangin' with my [[gal-pals|girlfriends]], karaoke, video games, crafting and art.

I am also empathetic, so [[Autism|I can understand others people's feelings]], as well as my own. I am a dynamic, [[Lie|complex]] individual.

I do not have many [[jerks|dude]] pals, because I have my own mental hang-ups against the majority of them; Nothing Personal. I have a history of being bullied by some mean brutes, as well as homosexuals, over the internet. Cyber-Bullies/[[Trolls]]/Anons are a hot button with me. I prefer not to discuss that issue further.

And I am an all-around good, friendly, honest, heterosexual tomgirl.

Thank you all for offering me respect, as I respect each of you and your opinions on the board.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2&p=157#p157]</ref>}}

===Re: Coming out to my parents===
In this thread, Chris opened up about his parents' feelings in regards to his newfound fetish.

{{quotebox|Y'all are singin' my song; my [[Barb|mom]] and [[Bob|dad]] were shocked bad when I told them I was a tomgirl. Soo Literally old-fasioned (they're both [[Chris and English|seinors]]). My mom said "I didn't raise a daughter", and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me.

I will Always be Straight, Mom and Dad; give me some faith and trust.

What a world with outside influances to put great paranoia in our families.

Also, try looking up "tomgirl" on Wikipedia; it redirects to "effeminancy". While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page is against us, due to it addressing the [[homos]].

Someone needs to undo the redirects, edit the grammer errors in "tomgirl"`s original edit, and add a ton more detail to it.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3&p=160#p160]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|My mom is still giving me complaints and nit-picks about me wearing my feminine attire. I wish I could just up and move out and not have to deal with my family; I don't know too many other people here in C-Ville, and those I do know I'm only acquainted with or know little about them for only a few weeks.

Plus finding employment is hard. I got a [[CADD|fancy computer degree]] from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]], and there have been very slim pickings from it. Already Taken; Quota's Filled; yada, yada, yada.

Plus also, she keeps throwing disbelief towards us by stating "Tomgirls aren't real"; SHE'S a Tomboy; what a bunch of 1940's old-fashioned crap. Plus she watches too much current news, and she is soo paranoid and shit.

I wish I could afford to move out, but I can't afford it financially, mentally and emotionally. Fucking [[stress|pisses me off.]]<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3&start=20]</ref>}}

===Re: Girly Things Tee Hee===

By this point it was pretty much agreed upon that T&ToV was a huge success, see below.

{{quotebox|After I realized my tomgirly ways, and starting dressing up in my skirts, I started feeling discomfort in using the Men's restroom. I asked my closest gal pal if it would be going too far in using the Ladies' room; she told me to go with my feelings. My next skirted outting, I used the ladies' room, and I squatted, holding my [[duck|arrow]] down over the john (so I would be less likely to soil my skirt); it felt good and Right. Days later, though, after 4 more lady trips; a woman complains and tattles on me, and a stereotypical [[jerk|Brute male]] shouts me out. I felt embarassed. When in skirt, I am still gonna go to the Ladies, because there is no goin' back for me.

Heck, I would not hold it against a tomboy who felt more comfort in using the Men's room over the Ladies'.

As truest Tomgirls, we do respect greatly the women as equals. [[lie|I would never look]] or anything of the sort.

Open for your thoughts.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|I've recently got into the original Squinkies, they are so cute and cool. And their gumball-machine dispensing playsets are neat. I like the cupcake-shaped one. And they're also coming out with Squinkie cars for Hot Wheels and Cars 2; little Squinkie people now have cool wheels to drive.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&start=10]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|Something else girly I enjoy danglin' around where I go is my ankle bracelet. It's a silver chain with sections of 4 silver beads, and I've added three stars on chains onto the hook. I never take it off, because it is an awesome and cute jewelry, plus it is difficult to put it back on. LOL

I also am enjoying the "Mighty Milky Way" DSiWare game on my [[Nintendo|3DS]]. Luna is a cute, sexy gal, and the method of guiding her from planet to planet is neat.

Anyone else on here with a 3DS may add me onto y'all's Friend List with my code, 2836-0121-9073. Please P.M. me with your 3DS F.C. in response if y'all add me.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=382#p382]</ref>}}

===Re: Homosexuals===
{{quotebox|I do not care much for the [[homosexual]] males either. I mean, I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways and such, it's like they're shoving it in your face. Plus, most of the Cyber-Bullies who gave me grief were homos [[Jack Thaddeus|themselves]], placing their damn label onto me wrongfully.

As long as they each keep it to themselves and behind closed doors, I won't bother them.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162]</ref>}}

===Re: July Meetup===

{{quoteboxred|'''by DanielleTheRiveter » Sun May 29, 2011 9:58 pm'''

That's right, everyone. It's that time again. Time to plan our big meet up for July. We're currently looking to meet up somewhere that's kinda central and should be easy for everyone.

First off, remember to dress your best. I'm going to wear my old dress uniform like normal but if you'd like to give us a sneak peak of your outfit, please feel free to do so here.

Also, any suggestions for Date / Time / Location is welcome.

Looking forward to seeing everyone there!|DanielleTheRiveter<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=27&p=229#p229]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|How about at the Applebees next to Toys 'R' Us on Branchlands Lane on a Monday; at 9 PM, they have Karaokee night there. Meet and greet first and sing-along after.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=27&p=229#p229]</ref>}}

===Re: FUKKEN HATERSSSssssssssss===
In which Chris fantasizes about an unrealistic encounter with a "hater", then throws in some unintelligible [[Random-access humor|RAH]].

{{quotebox|I would generally ignore the haters' hurtful comments and move forward too. But if they are really in my face calling me gay or telling me [[virgin|I won't be geeting a woman]], I would tell them like it is in my miniskirt, "All I have to do is lift up my skirt and I'll be up your woman's biz in seconds." :)<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=32&p=291#p291]</ref>}}

===Re: What part of Virginia are you from?===

{{quotebox|Charlottesville is my city of stompin' ground; it can stand some improvement, though. More excitement, and maybe a strip club or two. LOL.

I've also resided in Midlothian for my Middle and [[High School]] years.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=35&p=292#p292]</ref>}}

===Re: 10 interesting facts about you!===
Unsurprisingly the most bland, useless information is considered by Chris to be an "interesting fact"

{{quotebox|[[Autism|1.]] I like to take my time to think of how I feel about the current topic, as well as responding in discussion.

[[Lie|2.]] I am empathetic.

[[Fat|3.]] I appreciate how the fast food places wised up and started offering apple slices as a healthier option after decades of fried potatoes.

[[Trolls|4.]] With my history of being trolled and online coomunicating, I feel online socializing only makes people more autistic-like. People need to wise up and go back to feeling comfortable socializing in person.

[[Cwcsicle|5.]] I have sassy, fun ideas sometimes.

[[Sonichu|6.]] I am good at hand-drawing, coloring and story creating.

[[Manchester High School|7.]] I have had happy years in High School.

[[Autism|8.]] I try to be cautious of other people's intentions and feelings while communicating and coping with them.

[[Lie|9.]] I am technologically and musically inclined.

[[Chris and Art|10.]] I enjoy tinkering and creating when I feel inspired.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=34&p=293#p293]</ref>}}

===Re: tomboy looking 4 tomgirl===
[[Image:Suchin.jpg|thumb|Suchin]]

{{quoteboxred|'''by William » Sun May 29, 2011 2:44 am'''

hello my name is suchin and i am originally from thailand. my friends call me william or will because i am rowdy and like to have fun i am looking for tomgirl to treat me right. i work in manicure salon now and i love beauty on my men and dirt on me

[image]

this is me. what is you? lets meet up and exchange details. i am from richmond but will be in charlottesville for the 4th of july. i love freedom now too.
your turn now! fi dorrar. sacki aur bunti. PLEASE send me a message!|William<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|There is a pretty face, lovely head of hair and a nice rack in the photo. But I feel I have to interject here.

How do we know you are really that woman, or are you really some immature, trolling stupid brat trying to stir trouble on our forum? People have done that sort of thing over the internet; I fell victim to communicating with such people. And from that, I have learned to keep most personal things offline and to myself.

Anyway, I am not going to fall for such an obvious facade, and I wish to prevent anyone else from finding such gross disappointment and disaster.

Fess up, man.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:27 am '''

Hey I'm going to be down in Richmond tomorrow anyway, I think you're pretty cute so I'd like to meet up if possible.

I understand if this is kind of sudden, but when I saw that picture I just knew I had to meet this woman.|Tippy<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by William » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:33 am'''

kookydashy your comment make me so sad? i work so hard on my body to be my tomboy self and i am so tired of others putting me down for me being me. sometimes i think it because they jealous but for you to accuse me of being troll, someting i hate most in whole american world, make me cry some. this remind me of my sister telling me i cannot wear pants because i am woman. i can wear pants AND NOT BE MAN OR UGLY!!!!

as for Tippy, you sound so nice. I would love to meet a creature like you in reality world! i would even love to do your hair and nails and so much more... I am excite now! Yes! Please! I get out of work at around six. Can we do drinkies than??
|William<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:38 am'''

OMG that's perfect, I'm supposed to have an early dinner meeting with a supplier, so I will be free right around six. I'll private message you my cell number and other info so we can exchange our numbers and stuff. I am so excited, I cannot wait. I will be counting down the hours till we meet up my Tomboy dream. We'll have drinks, and maybe dessert ;). Hehehehe|Tippy<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by William » Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:44 am'''

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sawatdee kaa!! <3 You are true lady AND gentleman! I will call you tonight to confirm our time together with one another for tomorrow! You have dried every tear of mine so quick and make me smile bright bright bright... I cannot wait to smile more with you! xx|William<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

[[Image:Suchin 2.jpg|thumb|Suchin]]

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Fri Jun 10, 2011 6:00 pm'''

Hey everyone, I have a major update.

So after my meeting with the supplier, who I sweet talked into giving me a discounted rate, I met up with Suchin for drinks. Let me just say Tomboys and Tomgirls, the photos do not do her justice, she looks absolutely incredible. She gave me some great tips on keeping my pedicures lasting longer, we talked about every subject imaginable, and I hope she doesn't mind me saying this, but I am totally crushing on her right now, and cannot wait to see her again. The drive home from Richmond felt like nothing because of how happy I am right now.

Plus I'll always have this picture to remember our incredible night by.

Tippy<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by William » Fri Jun 10, 2011 7:33 pm'''

Yes, it very true ! Tippy you steal my heart and not ever let go! I am happy this way. I love sharing all my pretty lingerie with Tippy and I teach my new Tomgirl how to do Thai lap dance. We are so sensual and one. Tippy and I are item now!! NO TOUCHING! Thank you TBS and TGS of Virgina! <3 xoxo|William<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Fri Jun 10, 2011 7:40 pm'''

Suchin, you catty gal, I thought you were gonna let me announce to the forum that we were an item. It's ok, I still love you. And I can't wait until the next time we're together so I can give you that massage while you play your video games. I've never felt this happy, like this may be the greatest day of my entire life. I've met a lot of girls in my life, but Suchin, you are my woman, my strong, masculine, tomboy woman. I can't wait to see you next weekend, I've already talked to my boss, and I'm getting Friday off so we can spend the whole day together.

I never thought I'd be able to find love on an internet forum, and here we are, happy as can be. Thank you Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virgina, I hope the rest of you find your Tomboys and Tomgirls soon.
|Tippy<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|It looks like I stand corrected of my suspicions. But with my past experiences, and the too great number of crazy people in the world, we all have to be very cautious. And with that, I apologize for my earlier post and hurting your feelings, Suchin.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=26&p=311#p311]</ref>}}

===Re: Manicure/Pedicure stories?===
{{quotebox|I have colored my nails before, and it is fun to do for a grand outting.

I feel it ill for me to go in for a manicure, not only due to lack of funds, but I am a recovering nail-biter. I even had to have a fingernail replaced in surgery years ago; it is growing in well, even though slower than the other nine.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=37&p=312#p312]</ref>}}

===Re: Mothers===
{{quotebox|My mother has tried to coerce me into going back to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|briefs]]; Hells No! Panties are far more comfortable And stylish. And I am not going to ever go out without one of my sports bras again. She even tried to bribe, or wager, me, but I would not take it.

I feel there should be a law requiring all men to wear bras (sports ones at least); I feel grossed out whenever I see some dude walking sround shirtless. ]:(P<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]</ref>}}

===Re: Friendship Issues===
{{quotebox|I'd like to talk a bit about those of us (well, me in particular) who have for real only less than or equal to a handful of friends in person.

Growing up, I have had mostly female friends. I was considerably blessed, yet I still lack the virgin-breaker moment. The close friendships were great, and I really appreciated them in my heart forever. I really should have tried to get further, but before 21, I was naive on the subject of dating. There Really should be a manditory [[dating education]] class alongside sex ed.

I have known all of my life that I do get along better with women well over those of my own gender. No personal offense to anyone.

I have a mental flaw, along with other learnings, which has taught me that most of the worldwide male poulation are, pretty much, Uncaring, Violent, Ignorant, Dumb, Boring Jerks. And with that, I feel afraid in meeting most males, because I feel ill of getting too close, because of me getting hurt, or something else god-awful. ]:(

Again, no personal offense is meant to anyone.

My gal pal has informed me that me meeting more women and getting it on is very unlikely if I do not have many dude pals. Nutshell; I would be mistaken for a homo, or too easily friend-zoned by women. This tid bit makes me feel sad.

Open for individual responses from Everyone on this forum.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by BornThisWay » Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:24 am'''

Aww, that sux!!!! Anyway I met most of my friends back in high school, or college, or at my past jobs. Sometimes it's hard to keep in touch with everybody but that's why the Internet and phones were invented! A lot of the friends I hang out with now were from my last job. We'd go out for drinks every Thursday, Friday and Saturday and have the grandest of times! Sometimes I still meet up with them, but not every week like I used to.

As for meeting people, I've never really thought about it because I'm not a really shy person. I guess if you strike up conversations based on stuff you like or stuff you notice about them, that's a good start. It's real easy to sit in your room all day and play video games but you just have to talk to people and get out there. Sometimes I'll just go out all by myself and sit someplace nice and quiet and read. If you look cute sometimes people come up and introduce themselves!

But anyway if you haven't done it already you should get on Facebook and try to find your old friends and tell them what you've been up to since you've last seen them! It's a really easy way to keep in touch with people especially since a lot of people move away right after high school or college. Facebook is like a high school reunion that never ends! (Sorry if I sound like a commercial!) Plus if there's anyone who still lives in Virginia maybe they can introduce you to some of their single friends! Just be yourself and let us know what they say, ok?|BornThisWay<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|"Social" websites like Facebook and MySpace are ALL a Joke against socializing. Everybody is on the internet these days. And to Socialize online with total strangers Constantly is an epic fail. That kind of "socializing" on the internet will only result in making people more and more Autistic-Like. Think about it.

The more time we spend in front of an internet screen leads to constant lack of practice in REAL Socializing face to face offline.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Mike Love » Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:23 am'''

I like Facebook. There's a lot of people I don't nescesarilly talk to a lot, but I like to be able to keep up with what they're doing. Plus it makes it easier to keep track of people's phone numbers. Plus, I know a lot of cute girls, and I like to look at their photos a lot and get ideas on new outfits to wear.
|Mike Love<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|Just a gosh-darn minute. People Pretend to be Other People online, even Computers have been Programmed to pretend to be People to tease and get personal information from you. And Trolls/Cyber-Bullies Hack into YOUR Facebook and MySpace, rearranging, smearing, soiling with pornographic, most horrible images from the darkest regions of the internet. And they create wiki sites and pages of Hate against you soo horrible that Googling your own name results in MILLIONS of hate-filled results.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

''Note: Almost all google searches for variations of Chris-Chan (Christian Weston Chandler, CWC, Chris Chandler, etc.) consist mostly of pages mentioning other people such as Chris Chan Lee, people with the name Christian, Christianity, acronyms for companies, and other miscellaneous results. The actual ammount of hate-filled results probably ranges in the tens of thousands, not the millions. A ten second examination of the results would easily prove this but Chris has [[PS3|more important]] things to do.''

{{quoteboxred|'''by BornThisWay » Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:53 pm'''

Like I said, it's really, really sad that you're putting your fears in the way of getting in touch with your old friends and establishing new friendships. I'll bet your old friends think about you sometimes and miss you. And like it or not, people use social networking sites to contact people they know in real life to do things in real life. This is the way things are now.

I don't get how somebody who has enough courage to dress up in women's clothing and walk around in public and use the girl's bathroom can be so afraid of somebody making fun of them on the internet. I mean, who would even know who your old friends are? Why would somebody go through the trouble of impersonating them? And wouldn't you like, be able to figure out if it was somebody pretending to be them? I mean their Facebook profile would link back to all their friends and most of their family members. They'd not only have to fool you, but their parents and relatives, who have known them since they were born. Like, if somebody tried to set up a phony profile and pretended to be me just to hate on me, everybody would know that something was off.

So like, you've though about one bad thing that could happen if you tried to look up old friends on Facebook, and just assumed that it will happen. And you said you're afraid of getting to close to males in real life, because you think something bad might happen. It's really easy to worry and make up excuses about why you can't do things, but just know that if you do that anxiety is going to rule your life.

Like I said you believe in yourself enough to admit that you're a Tomgirl and get out there and strut your stuff. Some Tomgirls don't even get that far! Think about how much you've already accomplished before deciding what you can and can't do. You're your own boss and I can't make you do anything, I'm just saying your life would be a lot less lonely if you were open to looking up the old friends you've fallen out of touch with over the years.|BornThisWay<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Tippy » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:31 am'''

Maybe I've just been lucky and haven't met anyone who has lied to me online. I use facebook to keep in contact with the people I'm close to, they've made it so easy to keep track of my friends, why wouldn't I take advantage of it. As far as having problems with meeting anyone online. I met Suchin here on the forum, and I had no trouble meeting up with her. There are always going to be assholes out there Kooky, but you can show them that they are just haters and you aren't going to listen to them.
|Tippy<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|'''by Thoria » Wed Jun 22, 2011 2:34 am'''
I just use FB in private mode, that way haters can't see what I'm doing and I only have my closest friends on there.
|Thoria<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

At this point Chris loses all self-control and does everything short of posting "I am Christian Weston Chandler, I am famous on the internet and trolls pick on me".

{{quotebox|It's not just THOUGHT, but it HAS happened to me before for real. And if you don't believe, take for example the author of the comic book series featuring that yellow, electric hedgehog... Sonichu, if I remember correctly.

Before a time, the author had a clean history, then Cyber-Bullies and Trolls attacked him greatly; now Googling his name will result in over a million results of hate and name soiling. Especially from the blackmail and deceptions he had to endure.

I, myself, had a page on Facebook. Things were good for me a while. Then I was attacked in 2005 by the Trolls. They pretended to be my closest friends; they got a number of incriminating photos and details from me. They also hacked into my Facebook. It took me over a week before I was able to reset my password and e-mail address. And upon reflection, I closed my Facebook account and left the online socializing for years. It is real, and they are vicious, crazy, wickedly smart people.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>}}

==Aftermath==
Chris stopped posting on Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia shortly after his outburst. After a month of inactivity it was decided this information would be made freely available. T&ToV is highly regarded as a complete success, and much of the later content is considered a bonus. Chris once again proved he is completely naïve and gullible.

==See also==
*[[Sonichu Girls]]
*[[Tomgirl Pictures]]
*[[Trollin' Train]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/ Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]
* [http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=95 Chris's profile]

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Homos]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]

File:Ponyboy.jpg

2011-07-20T20:38:50Z

Westbound: Kookydashy

Kookydashy

CWCki:News

2011-07-19T19:43:26Z

Westbound:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Community Portal}}

This page is for discussion of da latest CWCki-related update.

== Flipnote Hatena return ==

So... how many <s>days</s> <s>hours</s> minutes before he's banned? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 04:57, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, they've been up for almost 12 hours now. He must have flown under the mod's radar. That's going to change since we're now aware of this development. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

And will we get many more badly drawn, idiotic animations? Also what is the general opinion of what we want to happen here? Do we want to report him so he will get banned again and rage, or do we want to see where he goes with this? -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 05:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
* Already reported his water maze dream. May as well to be perfectly honest. Besides, I don't think we'll get anything new, and I would love to see him rage about Flipnote Hatena Moderators for banning him because he is BAwwwwwtistic. Jump on the Pickle train, destination, Chris. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 02:33 25, July 2010 (UTC)

Knowing how fast Chris got banned from Flipnote Hatena(what was it, a week or two before he got perma-banned?), it will probably be even shorter. I mean, does he seriously think he can get back on and no one will notice? He's a real tool if he thinks Trolls aren't going to mess with him or report him, and an idiot if he thinks that the Moderators on FH wont notice his shenanigans and kick him right off. Also, how did he get around the ban? He must be using a library computer or something, or bought a new DS just to get around it. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 01:37 25, July 2010

SakuraBlossom is posting again. Apparently she had the watery maze dream too. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 06:38, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

:Any chance of a link to her channel? This sounds interesting. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 07:32, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::*http://flipnote.hatena.com/mobile/9C6792D0F3618798@DSi/ is SakuraBlossom's profile. She gave him a butt-tonne of stars just before. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Thanks. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 15:58, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Hey guys. Delabonte here. I don't want to have to be the one to point out the obvious but you all have Autism so here goes. How about you not report Chris this time? Haven't you realised that getting him banned from one of his few outlets is completely retarded? I know you think you're achieving something, but you are achieving the wrong thing. Think about it carefully. What was funnier, when he was making these cartoons or when he vanished and did nothing?''' --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 12:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

:Thanks for the sorely-needed message (and the protip), but I fear it may be too late as some have already taken the initiative to rat him out. Even without the dumbasses prematurely ending our fun, I'm sure it's just a matter of time until Chris gets HIMSELF in trouble with the mods. In the meantime, let's see if he catches a hold of a certain cherry flower who wants to be his heartsweet. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 14:09, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:*As far as we know, he hasn't responded to Sakura aside from in email. Still, it's important he not find out, or he could discover the woman who had the watery maze dream too... That would be a disaster. Also, I do agree; quit reporting him. It's funnier if/when he gets banned because of his own actions. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:08, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Anybody who reports Chris is a moron. Also, this means he bought another DSi. And that's just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:21, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

Update: Flipnotes previously reported to be taken down are (surprise) back up again. Oh Chris. (Hopefully this time around the trolltards won't do any reporting.) --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 01:53, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

== New tweets ==

Yeah. Chris has tweeted yet again, promoting his Sonichu Modnation crap and asking for ‘5-Star Votes’. No mention of Flipnote or anything related, though.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 08:02, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Where is Chris? ==

It seems like he has been pretty inactive lately. There have been no new updates since July 26th. I wonder what he is doing. What is he up to? Any thoughts?
-Interested bystander 08/10/2010
*Chris is playing [[ModNation Racers]]. He has been for quite a while. Nothing will happen for some time. Same thing happened when he got LBP. Also, you don't have to type your name out and stuff. Just put 4 tildes (~) after your message and it will sign your post for you. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 22:35, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

This quiet spell is killing me, someone go fire a petrol bomb through his house, get some reaction.. anything! If i lived within 3 hours of him, swear to god i'd be there everyday with my camera staking him out. --[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 04:47, 12 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Heh. The thing is... doing stuff that would make anyone RAEG (or at least, respond with huge amounts of emotion and anger) isn't really what's funny. The funny thing is doing [[Miyamoto|something]] [[Liquid|really]] [[Asperchu|minor]] that wouldn't phase anyone else, or would even amuse them, then watching him explode with disproportionate tard rage. There's also this tiny, niggling doubt in the back of my mind that... unless it actually hit Chris's room, or his car, or his parents raged at him for it (therefore inconveniencing him), he honestly wouldn't care. He'd just call it 'sad' or something. Chris really only cares about himself. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:59, 12 August 2010 (PDT)

Maybe Chris is still getting into stupid shit, but we're not seeing it. Maybe he was already banned from FAF for being a creep. We can't know at this point, but the possibility that we're missing out on some heavy shit is pretty frustrating. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 02:28, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

For some reason I am really interested in the whole Chris saga. I find him to be a pretty interesting person. I wish I lived near him so I could actually see him in action or actually talk to him. I tried adding him on facebook but apparently he never checks his facebook anymore. [[User:Interested bystander|Interested bystander]] 12:54, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

I swear this whole 2 year saga is like the best thing on the internet, but even so a lot of it has been dominated by quite spells. Then he'll release a new episode and in a whirlwind of shit and comeuppance he'll find his new sweetheart (I.E. any girl who dares to even acknowledge his existence, besides his mother.). Until then we just got be patient. [[User:Open the udder|Open the udder]] 15:34, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== Not a forum crackdown ==

Given recent events, I'm starting to get pissed about people who are using CWCki as a forum. Next person to do any of the follow (list not inclusive): posting trolling plans, posting personal comments on videos (like commenting how stupid Chris is), or pretty much '''anything that is not pertaining to improvement of the article will result in temporary bans.''' If you have any questions about this, feel free to contact me. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:58, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
*champ, despite you being the most cwcki leader of all cwcki things, to be honest, you're not doing a very good job of enforcing this. you SHOULD call it a forum crackdown. you should call it Crackdown: The End of All Things: The Movie [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:29, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

== He has returned ==

Dry spell officially over? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* That has still yet to be seen, but it appears so... I would, however, expect more video's soon in the immediate future given how much Chris has obsessed over his 10 year high-school reunion. When he finds out it isn't going to happen or he wasn't invited, there will definitely be some more videos (either of him crying about how the Greene County School board conspired to keep him out of the reunion, or raging against the school itself for not inviting him). Keep your eyes peeled, this high school reunion whining has the potential to become a saga in itself --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 06:10, 27 August 2010

if not the reunion this "trollbusters" alone could be another ego trip worth laughing at[[User:Mr.moose|Mr.moose]] 09:26, 27 August 2010
==Death of the Beloved PS3==
I don't understand why Chris destroyed his PS3... isn't formating the drive mean he just deleted all the data on the hard drive? I mean I realize he had a ton of shit on there but, now he has to buy a new one when he couldve just started from scratch with his old one... Anyone mind elaborating on this?[[User:Open the udder|Open the udder]] 01:21, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:This is either a gross overreaction to losing his hard drive (most of the content on which could easily be replaced, such as comics, songs, and purchased content.) or a somewhat extreme attempt at <s>re</s>gaining a social life. It actually reminds me of when I was a kid and I lost one of my Pokemon due to a trading glitch and came to the retarded conclusion that I should just wipe my entire save file. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 12:10, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:: who knows. my guess is that he will probably buy another one eventually with his tugboat
:::What about the rumors that he was trying to collect a bounty from trolls. [[User:Abyssal|Abyssal]] 22:37, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
::::Rumors and nothing more. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:01, 1 September 2010 (PDT)
Speaking of unsubstantiated rumors, I also heard that Chris's PSN is active again. Can anyone confirm? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:32, 1 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris spotted at Fashion Square...Again.==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34ueHWOKMh0 The guy who made the FAF vids posted this.]

Any thoughts? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 17:13, 31 August 2010 (EST)

: He looks almost normal. Interesting... -[[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 14:26, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

:Same orange shirt from this weekend's second video. I wonder if he's giving up on the trucker vest. Kind of disappointing, really, in the plain old slacks and a t-shirt he just looks like a garden-variety fat dude. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:27, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
::Chris is seriously not aging well. The more normal he dresses, the more obvious his poor health becomes. What I see is a mass of orange filth, and from that mass, four scrawny, sickly limbs have sprouted. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:09, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Maybe it's 'cos I live in the South. Take him out of the clown shirt and Chris isn't all that unusual down here. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 16:14, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
The way he's sitting suggests he's "spreading his plumage" just like his Captain Morgan pose with the muscle bra at FAF. He still fucking believes he's the apex of masculinity and women will flock to him if he makes himself visible. Of course, the only thing he's showcasing sitting like that is his gut and man boobs.

Should we add this to the [[Attraction Sign]] page? Same concept, Chris is just getting more and more implicit about it. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 14:38, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:He's not becoming more implicit, he's just becoming more lazy about it. Back in 2005, he actually put a tiny degree of effort into his attraction methods. Now he's not even trying anymore. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:02, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:There is no attraction sign in that video. Chris is just lusting after the chick while he sits slumped in the seat, at the height of his glory. --[[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 20:46, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

== Jerkops wanted ==

I'm looking for a few new jerkops.

Prereqs:

1) must not be a fag (homosexuals alright, I mean people who are just stupid).
2) must obsessively or at least semi-obsessively monitor the CWCki
3) must have a spine.
4) you must have been editing the CWCki for a while (in other words, I recognize your name).

Being a jerkop ''will not'' get you any special privileges. You will not get privy information about Chris. You will not get to troll Chris. You will probably not get any honor or glory. You will however get a userbox.

Contact info on my userpage.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:58, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

:ME ME ME ME ME ME [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:00, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:*No. Everyone else contact me privately.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:01, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris mentioned on Atop the Fourth Wall ==

Linkara mentioned ''Sonichu'' and Chris in his latest video "15 Comics I'll Never Review", under the entry regarding webcomics. The Embodiment of the Internet showed up and forced him to review ''Sonichu'', but then settled for a ''Sonic'' comic.

The episode in question: http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html -- [[User:TobyMobias|TobyMobias]] 22:13, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
:I watched it earlier today and I lol'd hard when he mentioned it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:28, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

== Any news on Chris' High School Reunion ==

Hello everyone, I'm mostly a lurker but ever since I found out about this site I couldn't help myself and dig deeper into Mr. Chandler's mind. Chris has been hell bent on trying to go to his high school reunion, hoping to meet his old gal-pals. I've been trying to find anything about Manchester High School on the internet, hoping to find anything about anyone planning a 10 year reunion. From alumniclass.com to facebook, looks like no one is planning anything or seems to care about their high school reunion. I found this on alumniclass.com, but it looks like a troll made this. [http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c381/ShinGokuIAM/Others/MHSClassReunion00.jpg] I'm going to try and keep digging but I doubt anyone cares about this high school reunion. [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 07:55, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

== Laser Pointer Shit ==
This post is six months old but it hasn't been mentioned here so I thought it might be worth crossposting.

"I have witnessed Chris Chan in the flesh and he's kind of a running joke at work. He would shine his laser pointer at a woman I worked with in order to get her attention, I guess because she fit his physical criteria, except that she was not boyfriend-free." ''-Komet, Something Awful Forums''

[[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 19:56, 10 December 2010 (PST)

== Is this the end? ==
We haven't heard anything from Chris since November. Unless we somehow find a way to troll him through the PSN, could this be the end of the trolling as we know it? [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 22:11, 14 January 2011 (PST)

:Chris will always come back to the internet. Once he realizes nobody will ever love him in real life, he'll come back to the internet, thus allowing us to troll him. I'm pretty sure he'll go back to being stupid(er). Although he probably won't put effort into a sweetheart. [[User:PedoforkBait|PedoforkBait]] 16:40, 10 January 2011 (PST)

== Want to see Chris in public ==

Head out to the fashion square mall on a saturday between 3-4. Being the autistic creature of habit he is, he always shows up, with Bob.
[[User:CFA|CFA]] 16:00, 23 January 2011 (PST)CFA

== CWCki captioning side project ==

There's a lot of talented people on the CWCki and since not a lot is going on with Chris, we can use this time to really do something terrific. One thing I think we can work on is assisting our sister project, [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] with captioning. I was able to make one for [[MEOW]] and it turned out fine.

Captioning videos isn't too difficult, I used [http://accessify.com/tools-and-wizards/accessibility-tools/easy-youtube-caption-creator/ this] though I hear [http://captiontube.appspot.com/ this] is a good resource as well. You can use CWCki transcripts for the captions and otherwise it's not too difficult.

Helping out with this means that the hearing impaired can now experience the fail that is Chris, in addition to people who want to watch Chris's videos without hearing Chris's voice. This can also lead to translating Chris's videos into other languages.

Participation means getting your name mention in the video description and you'll get a pretty cool user box (TBD). The more you contribute, the cooler user boxes you'll get.

Send your captions (upload them to MediaFire or some site like that) and message them to Abuelita on TheCWCvilleLibrary. Be sure you mention your CWCki name so you can get credit and so I can get you a sweet ass userbox.

I plan on contributing myself, so by all means participate.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:41, 7 February 2011 (PST)
*Just to bring it to your attention, both of those links are the same. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 10:28, 8 February 2011 (PST)
:*NUH-UH.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:54, 8 February 2011 (PST)
*I started doing the Chris's DVD videos (just to follow the channel's order), I could translate them to Spanish too.[[User:Cesare|Cesare]] 15:03, 8 February 2011 (PST)
**I should probably say that I did the JenkinsJinkies application video and Hello Juffalo/Downs with the Clowns, just so that nobody else does them a second time. Should we have a separate page cataloging which videos have been done by who? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:07, 8 February 2011 (PST)
::*I wasn't sure if we should make this a separate CWCki project but it might be handy. Post which videos you plan on working on [[CWCki:Caption Crusade|here]]. If you can translate Chris's into Spanish, that'd be great Cesare.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:37, 8 February 2011 (PST)

== Inside the Pickle Suit is canceled ==

Due to lack of interest by relevant parties, the project is canceled. The interview with Ivy will still go on (as we've already paid the seance and the deposit was non-refundable). If you wanna bitch, go to [[IRC]] and bitch to the people who opted out. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:52, 9 February 2011 (PST)
*Though to be fair, the issue of in-character versus out of character discussion, essentially trolls breaking the fourth wall in the theatrics of Chris would be a difficult issue to reconcile .--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:08, 9 February 2011 (PST)

I don't blame them if they don't want to do it. There's no pressure, and I respect the people behind the scenes too much for them to risk giving away personal details or revelations that could end up backfiring on them. Lord knows no one needs to give Chris anything of value(however small), better to be safe than sorry. I say let sleeping dogs lye. --[[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 05:29 10, February 2011 (EST)

Agreed. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 08:12, 10 February 2011 (PST)

== NeverOnHexBox ==

I'm sure some of you might have seen this already, I was surprised it wasn't on the CWCki, but Chris is back on under a new Youtube Channel. Here, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu75tzrwLAU, you just have to see it for yourself. I swear, the internet and video games are Chris' Heroin and Cocaine. --[[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 01:49, 14 February 2011 (EST)
*That's not Chris, that's just someone posting videos of his levels. --[[User:KHSilverRock|KHSilverRock]] 23:02, 13 February 2011 (PST)
* Either way, it counts as being back in my books. --[[user:Chris_pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 02:16, 13 February 2011 (EST)

== Back on MySpace? ==

Chris's [[MySpace]] showed a recent login on 26 [[February 2011]]. Some notable edits show that he's now even more picky when it comes to his courtship expectations: "You must be pretty, single, and willing to meet me and my papa at Casa De Chandler with[in] two days of first contact." He also seems to be taking a different view towards [[jerks]]: "I am also open to friendships with Guys; for many years I shunned men because of how they treated me but now I am cool with being friends with them."

Now this may be a troll and not him, but if it is him, is this something worth noting on [[Template:Da_update|Da Update]] or something? Maybe note the changes on the page about his MySpace? [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] 03:24, 26 February 2011 (PST)

Well, we should look a little further into this before jumping to conclusions. It's pretty easy to hack a Myspace account, and if it's one owned by Chris, then it's even easier to take. Not only that, his Myspace has been inactive for a pretty long time. The message sounds like something Chris would say, but this can be imitated as we know.

This is the first time since he left that there's been any sort of major signs from him on the internet, if he is trying to get back into his internet crawl spaces, he's certainly trying to be a little more discreet about it, and posting this as an update on the CWCki might scare him away if he see's it(since he checks the CWCki), so perhaps a little causion is needed. I'll check this out though. --[[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 02:31, 28, February 2011 (EST)

It's a decent impression if it's not him. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 09:46, 28 February 2011 (PST)

*It's not Chris, I'll tell you that much. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:42, 28 February 2011 (PST)

== I can not believe I missed this all until earlier this week... ==

So it wasn't until a youtube partner known as BLACKbusterCritic posted a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSMWckfTfuM video] on him that I learned of CWC's existence... It's so funny that I was able to live in ignorance for so long... Anyway, I am so upset that I missed this all because there is so much information out there, and I want to learn it all.

I hope Chris comes back, I need some more humor in my life.

Keep doing a good job on the site, I am so sad to see ED is down... Hoping that site also comes back.

[[User:Raku|Raku]] 14:27, 16 April 2011 (PDT)

== ED is gone ==

*ED has folded. The owners sold the site and ran like hell. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 22:35, 16 April 2011 (PDT)CFA
** Hi Slowpoke!--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:24, 16 April 2011 (PDT)
*Oh, since you are so ahead of the curve, you have updated the ED page on the site and the like right? Otherwise, fuck off. [[User:CFA|CFA]] 14:40, 18 April 2011 (PDT)CFA
:*That's like a 5-year-olds response. Everyone fucking knows that ED is gone, and no one has to edit the ED article like a stupid motherfucker to prove that they know it. --[[User:NeoShadow|NeoShadow]] 15:03, 18 April 2011 (PDT)
*Actually, we did edit the article to replace the links a couple days ago. The articles are pretty current. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 15:12, 18 April 2011 (PDT)

== Bob is dead? ==

>Sonichu is no longer being updated. My father's passing has been too great for me

>My father's passing has been too great for me[http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm](linked from [[Adult_Swim_posts]])

What? [[User:GunLowEgg|GunLowEgg]] 14:56, 25 April 2011 (PDT)

:I remember seeing that over a year ago. It was hacked way back. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 15:11, 25 April 2011 (PDT)

:Not the real Chris. Seriously... --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:14, 25 April 2011 (PDT)
::>> :( It is like I Lost Patti All Over Again.
:::Made me think it was real [[User:GunLowEgg|GunLowEgg]] 07:01, 26 April 2011 (PDT)

== Annoucning the CWCki Forums ==

Because I'm tired of fuckers using talk pages as forums, which clogs up recent changes and takes away time I could be improving the CWCki, I've created a forum for the CWCki [http://cwcki.yuku.com/ here]. Hopefully this will be a bit more civilized than the Offshore CWCki. Pretty much you can go nuts talking about Chris, I don't care, just keep it off the CWCki. By all mean post suggestions for boards you'd like to see and anything else on the CWCki Forums forum. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:22, 11 May 2011 (PDT)

== Chris Chan on Christian Message Board ==

[http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=64266 The Landover Baptist Church Forum]

Obvious Fake. Way to coherent to be Chris --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 13:01, 14 July 2011 (PDT)
:No duh. Landover Baptist is a fake Christian website. It's to religious fundamentalism as The Onion is to journalism. Why would someone try to pretend to be Chris there? Did they confuse Landover Baptist Church with Westboro Baptist Church? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 13:57, 14 July 2011 (PDT)

== Facebook back up? ==

[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114]

Looks like he put this back up after the small down time. -- [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 12:43, 19 July 2011 (PDT)

Talk:Tomgirl Pictures

2011-04-29T12:08:20Z

Westbound:

In case anyone's wondering, the images are called "TG#" because TomGirl. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:09, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
* '''MY EYES!''' CAN NOT UNSEE! [[User:CFA|CFA]] 19:13, 28 April 2011 (PDT)CFA

Is there ANY backstory to this?!? What I don't understand is that he 1) went into PUBLIC wearing this stuff (there's a picture of him at his mall) and 2) It looks like he shaved his underarms in one or two pictures...WHY?! Dear God why?! --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 19:26, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
* Pretty sure he always shaved his underarms. I don't know why I know that. --[[User:Kwippleton|Kwippleton]] 19:38, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:The article could use some clarification as to what the hell is going on here. There's gotta be some sort of story behind this. What's the deal? This is some of Chris's weirdest antics yet. Just when you think the lulcow ran dry... [[User:Abyssal|Abyssal]] 19:42, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

Note that both ears are pierced, not just the gay ear (see: cucumbers on eyes pic). Also, that's his real hair and the images aren't censored; he's wearing a g-string. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:54, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
: Are they really pierced or are they those clip on/magnet ones?? Is there anyway we can tell?? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:04, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:: They're real. Trust me. If they were clip ons, there would be more of an indent. I'm also pretty sure that clip ons are bigger. The ones I had as a kid certainly were, and I was pretty into those things. [[User:PedoforkBait|PedoforkBait]] 20:08, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
::: That would make sense...I bet the ring/hoop ones are fake though, there's no hole for them in other pictures (unless he got them later). And why are they so oddly placed?? They aren't on the lobe like they should be...unless they've changed where they put them now (I got mine when I was 7). Or...could he have done them himself??? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:13, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:::: They are real. Also, I'm not aware of any way to have a stud clip-on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 20:35, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
*At this point, he's gotta be fucking with us. He wants to gross us out, so we don't bother him. --[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 20:05, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
: You think he pierced his ears to get us to leave him alone? [[User:PeachyKeen|PeachyKeen]] 20:20, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

He's using a real camara to take his picture in some of these, that's unusual. I wonder what the poor guy who had to develop them was thinking. O_o [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 20:31, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

This is probably a long shot, however I really think he did this for a girl. Most likely a girl who liked to dress up as a guy and wanted Chris to do the same. Or it's a really, really good troll. Either way, whoever made him do this is really good at what they do, because these pictures are FUCKING DISGUSTING. [[User:Mikau|Mikau]] 20:54, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
: [[:File:TG3.jpg|"...when the government fears the people, there is liberty"]]. I'm sure this new heartsweet has her Guy Fawkes mask ready. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 02:24, 29 April 2011 (PDT)

The saddest thing about all this is that this didn't even suprise me in the slightest, I wasn't even mildly shocked to see Chris in drag, or even with a sock on his flacid manhood. --[[User:Gustofwind|Gustofwind]] 21:31, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
: many are saying it isn't a sock...it's a g-string. You can't see the strings holding it up because of his gut roll over but when he does the picture of his butt, you can see the black thong part in the crack.....if you REALLY want to look that is. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:35, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

Goddaemnd monkey-assed hell. Well, what do we do with this page? Start describing shit? In fuckin' ''detail''?! It could stand as is, like the CWCki's own personal 'shock page'...--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:00, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

INFO, somebody has it. Where are the pictures from? Did he upload them somewhere? Or is it old stuff made public by trolls? --[[User:Cuprite|Cuprite]] 22:05, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:It's all recent and Clyde got it by hacking Chris' PSN. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 22:09, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
::Excellent, this, coupled with the PSN being down, is probably the best chance we'll get at him returning. --[[User:Cuprite|Cuprite]] 22:13, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
::PSN has been offline for a week all because of these photos, spread the word [[User:Acousticvirgin|Acousticvirgin]] 22:15, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:::In the meantime, someone try to find an appropreate picture of King Hippo from the Captain N cartoon; he also crossdresses, and he's also a fat, useless, discolored retard.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 22:17, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

In some of these, he looks uncannily like a fat version of Buffalo Bill. [[User:Vulture-chan|Vulture-chan]] 22:30, 28 April 2011 (PDT)

I was about to ask if the PSN take down made him go further down the crazy hole o_o [[User:Raku|Raku]] 23:30, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
:Chris has been at this a while, and you can tell because growing out hair takes a while. The PSN going down was coincidence. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 00:49, 29 April 2011 (PDT)
I also love the claims that he is "straight". Yeah, Chris is as "straight" as a circle >_> [[User:Raku|Raku]] 23:34, 28 April 2011 (PDT)
: Circle? Try "ampersand." --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 00:25, 29 April 2011 (PDT)

here's something everybody should think about: chris is wearing his mom's clothes. i mean surely he didn't pay for any of this shit when there are MOUNTAINS of free clothes blocking up whole rooms of his house. [[User:Acousticvirgin|Acousticvirgin]] 00:36, 29 April 2011 (PDT)
:Already wore his mum's underwear that one time. Wouldn't be a new thing for him. [[User:BlueYonder|BlueYonder]] 01:19, 29 April 2011 (PDT)

I wonder if Bob has caught this yet. [[User:Westbound|Westbound]] 05:08, 29 April 2011 (PDT)

Kacey Call 22

2011-04-07T19:58:08Z

Westbound:

Just a brief overview until the entire call is transcribed.

File Name: kc92709.mp3

*[[Chris]] went to couple's relationship class by himself, told them about being trolled and how hard it is to be him.
*Kim told Chris to make a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay|costume]], [[Kacey]] agreed. Chris says it's too much work.
*Chris is trying to get a job at [[Target]] and has trouble remembering what day of the week it is.
*Chris talks about buying and selling ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' stuff on [[Ebay]], says that ''Guitar Hero'' is better than ''Rock Band''.
*Chris talks about a bear and her cubs being near a school; he heard about it on the news. Kacey sounds bored as hell, but Chris thinks the bear story is hilarious.
*He talks about more news stuff, a guy who raped a 13 year old girl ran to Europe, Kacey doesn't care but then gets angry about child molesters.
*Chris says that child molesters should only get 5 years in jail. Kacey says that it should be longer, Chris eventually changes to 20 years. Kacey gets angrier and starts yelling at Chris. Chris backs down.
*Kacey is really pushing the topic of rape on Chris; Chris sounds uncomfortable. Chris: "I have never personally been raped. I would definitely be offended if I was."
*Eventually, Chris recalls the bear story and laughs in the middle of rape discussion to push the dark thoughts away. Kacey is not amused, but allows Chris to segue into talking about cartoons.
*Chris talks about ''[[Family Guy]]''/''Cleveland Show'', says that ''American Dad'' is bad.
*Chris keeps talking about Meg from ''Family Guy'', saying that she's really hot. Kacey says as much as possible to piss Chris off in regards to Meg.
*Chris is STILL talking about Meg and wanting to bang her. Kacey calls Meg fat.
*Chris ignores any [[homosexual]] part of ''Family Guy''. Gets pretty angry when Kacey keeps talking about how ''Family Guy'' is pro-homo.
*Chris stopped drinking various types of soda because he started to associate them with gay people.
*Kacey says that no gay man would ever be into Chris because he's not clean enough. This actually upsets Chris.
*Kacey asks if gay people have ever hit on him before. He says over the [[Internet]] it's happened.
*Chris claims he's been hit on a few times by girls back in middle school, ever since he left high school it hasn't happened because every single woman is taken by a guy already.
*Chris says that he has good [[fashion]] sense.
*Kacey says that the idea of being a "house husband" will make girls think that Chris is gay.
*Kacey says it's ok for women to be a stay-at-home parent but not men. Chris lets out many stress sighs.
*Kacey says Chris needs to be more manly. Chris takes this to mean that he needs to take male hormone pills.
*Kacey tells Chris to go clean his room and says she has to leave.

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey. How are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, I'm ok. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. So whats uh- up with you? I mean, I haven't talked to you in awhile, I have been so busy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I kinda figured that. Yeah, a lot has been going on. Uhmm... Where do I begin? Shoot, when was the last time we talked?
 '''Kacey:''' A couple of days ago.
 '''Chris:''' A couple of days ago... Mmm... Alright well ok well I guess I'll start with something good, yeah? Uhh... yeah yesterday I took my uh, over to the first of uh, my uh relationship management classes. I think I told you about that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' Do we - I signed up for that class - I am saying I took the first one yesterday - I took the first one yesterday at - I guesstimate or -or- say the day before yesterday - No. It's after midnight, it's not Monday, it's Saturday. Anyway, yeah, Saturday morning I went to my first class and uhh -it - it was good. Uhhh- learned that first step in a matching your relationship is learning about your self so... So uh mu- So it was basically was three of us. I mean a teacher and uh- and another student woman named Elizabeth about-
 '''Kacey:''' Well aren't those classes for people that are actually in relationships?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, not necessarily, it could be considered- I mean- I mean, I was single and I was able to sign up for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well-But I mean, I mean they are not going to discriminate but... don't they teach you material that goes after the relationship?
 '''Chris:''' Umh- Uh, They gave us some material even before the relationship, like, you know, how to talk- How to uh... how to so- How to better socialize and uh... talk to woman and what not. It's sorta like [[Dating Education]].
 '''Kacey:''' Mkay. So what have you learned?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Yeah I learned- Yeah I learned a little bit. Uh... I learned quite a bit... Mmm... yeah, It seems like s-although it was like - Although -You know like- I have had coping classes before in middle and high school so this one was kinda similar to that one in a way- in a few ways. We did a few- we did a few worksheets filling in a little bit some information about uh- ourselves, our teachers did workshe-did our- did our worksheets along with us. A total of five people signed up for the class, but uh- but ya know three of them didn't make it. So... it was just like three of us Saturday, anyway yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what kind of things were on the work sheets?
 '''Chris:''' Uhm... Yea-You know, like, uh... you know, like a one or- a few- a yes few little - few questions like, you know, like- like, you know- You could- rate how good you feel about your self or uh... or how are seen or like you see or you know how people see us a good friend or if you a little bit of confidence- err - if you have a little confident or even a few questions that were like in reversed this morning, like do you -do you know- do you sometimes feel lonely or sometimes doubt your self. But anyway, but like- In a possible 30 so - and I got 27. The teacher and Eliz- The teacher, her name was Wandea. Yeah Wandea and Elizabeth they each - they both- they each got 29 our of 30. Yeah, I mean- it's just a couple of things like sometimes like- I did have lonely nights um...and, like, you know, I have a few concerns about how other people see me you know, like people over the internet, you know, some like me some don't like me so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yo- You didn't talk about the trolls, did you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Only a little bit... I mean I did not go into details, just, you know, I had a bunch of people badmouth me, so... Yeah, was just basically it was a contribution with that, but yeah- wasn't them- eh- this wasn't about the trolls anyway. Uh- I talked enough and we also, like, you know, anyways, like, you know, when we evaluate ourselves we need to essentially... It was like we were accentuating on the positives, so... You know- a know- an- on- Among the other two worksheets we talked about, like, you know, uh- summin- like, you know, you filled in what each of us liked... a-our likes and uh- dislikes and uh... about like- and like uh... what we would like- what we would like to be or what we are l- what each of us are looking forward to... Yeah, and then- and then in the future classes we'll be learning about uh... How to better communicate with uh- other people... and uh- and the like... and associating, co-
 '''Kacey:''' What do you think this class is going to do for you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I think it'll- I think it'll help me uh... maybe- I think it'll help- I think it'll help me feel a little bit more confident about myself, maybe, and uh- give me more- give me more things to- give me a better understanding of what to say when I talk to uh- women- when I talk to women in public or... Well, you know that sorta thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know confidence comes from within. A class can't give it to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, but ye- yeah, before uh- 'fore... Yeah, I mean I'm not sure- I mean- but I'm... I think it's fairly obvious that for a while I've had like uh... quiet- quite a bit of low self-esteem.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Hm. Anyway, I think a- I think after- I think after these classes I'll uh- feel- I'll feel a little better about myself and I'll feel more confident and uh- ma- and possibly better socialize in my adult life and... feel better about appoint- approaching women and talking to th- an' talking to them...
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] Okay, well, anything else about the relationship class?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Only that, like, you know, we're hoping that the other three students will co- will-will-will-we'll-we'll be seeing them next class.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' That- and that uh- the next class will be on the uh- twenty-fourth of October... Oh, and also I learned that, like, you know- you know the relationship class is one thing among the uh- Parks and Recreation program here in Charlottes- in Charlottesville... Uh- yeah, but also I got a calendar of events, apparently there's like a little Halloween party over at the uh- Key Center near the Downtown Mall, so I'll be- so I'm probably going to that. Not sure what I'm going to dress up as, though. And uh-
 '''Kacey:''' What did you say was going on in October, I'm sorry? For the class?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I said that the last class will be on October twenty-fourth, and then I got a calendar of events... wi- I th- learned there's going to be a Halloween party over at the Key Center dear the Downtown Mall, so I'm planning on going to that, but I'm not sure what I'm going to dress up as yet.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim's- I talked to Kim about that a little bit earlier, uh- she suggested I make up a Sonichu costume, but I don't se-
 '''Kacey:''' I actually was about to suggest that. I mean why not?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' You can stretch your creative muscles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm just not sure about uh- wanting to make a costume at this time, but you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but what better way to promote it and show that it's yours?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, but... Yeah, anyway, I just- it depends on how I feel and I'll think about it further and iffan... If I decide to make the costume, I will.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean w- you should be more driven to do these things. I mean obv- or obviously Sonichu is not that important.
 '''Chris:''' Well, Sonichu ''is'' important... to me. Just I got so many fat- factors in life I, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but this is gonna be great PR!
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, I got- I'm going to try s- trying to socialize in real life, for one thing and trying- and another thing trying to not think about the trolls and keep my distance from the computer, so I don't have to listen to them and ignore their incoming phone calls... [sigh] Lotta stuff. But yeah, I'm still working on the comics and the uh- CWCipedia and all that. Oh, I got- and also the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, and how about your room? You still working on your room?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm still working on my room.
 '''Kacey:''' You should send me some pictures of progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I will. Yeah, by the way, also I uh- called up uh- Target earlier today uh- try- tried looking for... Melissa, one of the two women who interviewed me uh- She wasn't in, so I a- so I left a message asking for her to call me back. I should probably hear from her on Monday or Tuesday... Uh- today or tomorrow. Depends on-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, good luck with that.
 '''Chris:''' Depends on when she comes in, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely. Um, do you think you got the job? 'Cause I don't think we've talked about it since it actually happened.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, I mean I think I felt that I did good at the interview and that uh- I feel... that I left a good impression on hm... and uh- I felt the sense of a... and uh- feeling, like, you know... and perceiving me as a friendly type person... but... and as for- but, you know- but I had somebody else ahead of me in the interview-wise uh- Any- Uh, so... I'm hoping I- I hope- I'm hoping I got the job, but uh... I'm just uh- having doubts, especially since, like, you know, uh- last Friday an email- rece- I received another email from Target saying, like, you know, "Yeah, we don't have any positions open for you yet." I think I- I'm not sure I- er a- if I told you or Kim about that email. But anyway uh- but anyway, I call Target today and I'll find out uh- from Melissa Mon- today or tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Oh! Somethin' else goin' on. You know I put my- I put my uh- Fender- my Meatwad Shredwad- sfender Stratocaster and my second PS3 Gibson guitar on eBay and I sold them both to the same person in the uh- Czech Republic uh- Yeah, I mean uh- you know, the uh- Stratocaster sold for the askin- for the starting bid of $29.99, but I mean- but for the Gibson guitar- I mean I started at $19.99... Anyway, all the way up to $69.99...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well, cool!
 '''Chris:''' Well, that's ju- I guess that just shows you that Guitar Hero is definitely more popular than Rock Band. Heh heh heh heh heh!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]
 '''Chris:''' Hn. But anyway, uh- Yeah, uh- so- Yeah, I talked to uh- the g- I talked to the uh- dude at- his name was Walter-
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' -in the email. Yeah, he said that, like, you know, he's got a dot- he's got a daughter who's going to a university in Virginia, so he'll wire the mon- he'll wire the uh- money to her and then uh- you know, in person exchange of uh- the m- of the guitars for cash... And-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Oh! That's good. You don't have to pay shipping. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway uh- So anyway I talked to her- anyway I talked to her a little bit. Her name is Regina...
 '''Kacey:''' Uhah.
 '''Chris:''' And apparently she goes- she's going to uh- the University of Virginia, um- majoring in philosophy...
 '''Kacey:''' ...Oh, I guess that's great...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway- Yeah- Umm- I sent her another email, you know, telling her a little about myself and gave- gave her my uh- headshot... let her know what m- what I look like in the face.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yes, so she can identify you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh- I still have a- I mean I checked my email earlier today uh- she hadn't replied yet, but, you know. Uh- she just started over at UVA and, so she's been- so she's been busy with uh- with homework and whatnot.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. You know how college is.
 '''Chris:''' Yep... Oh, and I w- Oh, you know, a couple of other things on my mind uh- I watched the uh- watched the- I watched the wahoo(?) local Fox News earlier. You know we have a cute bear- you know we have cute bear? We have, like, three bears running around- shrunning around Charlottesville area? Uheh. Heh heh heh! It was like momma bear and her two cubs. Anyway, last Friday, they went up a tree across the street from this uh- Barville Firewood Middle School, and then uh- and then aft- they went down- after they got down from the tree that Friday night, they went across the street to the parking lot at that school and they hung around that school for the weekend and then they just left tonight and the funny thing is the b- that the school's mascot is a bear. AND THEY WERE VISITED BY THREE BEARS!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]
 '''Chris:''' Haheh heh heh heh heh heh! Yeah. Anyway- Anyway, no major damage. The bears- The bears were just visiting. Now they're over in uh- over somewhere in uh- Lore- Loreville, something like that around here. Um- Yeah. Anyway, gargle- Anyway, so the bears are another place now. Hm. Oh, and uh- another piece of news I heard about uh- cute- Oh, yeah. Roman Polanski. You know that- You know him?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' He directed the [[Penis|Piiiiaaaanist]]? Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Mhmm.
 '''Chris:''' Apparently, he was convic-ted years ago of drugging and having sex with a thirteen year-old girl and he finally got arrested for that-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh!
 '''Chris:''' -He was hiding out in h- He was hiding out in Europe to get away from that. They finally caught him and arrested him...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I felt like he- I felt like he deserved that after what he did, I mean drugged and did that-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah, I think child molesters should be burned alive!
 '''Chris:''' I agree... Wait a minute. Well, not burned alive, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no! I mean look what they're doing, I mean they're touching someone who doesn't want to be touched. They're invading their personal space, and not only that it's a child who can't defend themselves. I mean it's not good at any age, but it's even worse when they're children. I mean, like, why would you do that to someone, especially if you didn't know they wanted it? That's horrible!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is horrible. Hm. But, yeah, you said "burning," I mean that- I mean... Too many-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry. Those people have no souls, and I don't care what happens to them as long as it's painful, because what they did to that child will never go away and, so they need as much pain as possible.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean- Yes, it is appropriate to punish them, but uh- you know, I wouldn't exactly say "kill them."
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, you'd do it slowly. You know, maybe, maybe let them recover, and then do it again, because I mean... come on. What happens if you have Crystal, and someone does it to her? Don't you think you're going to want to kill them? Don't you think that you're going to want them to suffer?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I would feel the need to make them- I would feel the need to make that person suffer.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean I don't want to think you're defending a child molester.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm not- I'm not personally defending the child molest- I'm not defending the molester. I- I'm just saying that, like, you know, no need to kill him. Hu-ur-hu-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, what do you think we should do?
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, yeah, he should definitely go to jail and serve his time, and maybe, like, and, like-
 '''Kacey:''' Why, so he can get out in five years for quote-unquote good behavior, so he can do it again?
 '''Chris:''' No- Not- No, I mean, like, sentence him for, like, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Like, pedophilia doesn't have a cure.
 '''Chris:''' I would say twenty- I would say sentence him for twenty years.
 '''Kacey:''' Twenty years is worth- NO! All the pain that person's going to go through, you think raping someone, especially a child, is only worth ''twenty years''!? The m- pain they're going to have to go through is only ''twenty years''!? Shouldn't it be life!? They took away that person's life, altered it for the rest of their life. Shouldn't they be in jail?
 '''Chris:''' Ur- Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Twenty years to life in jail. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' No! Not twenty years to life! They- They're useless to society. I mean how would you feel if someone touched you?
 '''Chris:''' If it was a woman, I would accept it, but if it was a dude, I'd slap it- I'd- I'd ki- I'd- I'd kick his ass.
 '''Kacey:''' No! No one should touch you if you don't want it period, dot, the end, especially not when you're a child. Whether a man or woman, doesn't make it right.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah. I hear you on- I hear you what- I hear what- I hear you. I was just uh- saying, since you brought up the question... Eh- I was just- I was just making sures- specifying the uh- yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I-It doesn't matter, I mean [exasperated sigh]. It sounds like you wouldn't care at all, I mean that- I can't believe that. Just because it's a woman? Okay, when you're little, that doesn't matter. 'Cause rape is rape. We're n- We're not talking about consensual sex, we're talking about rape-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I- I- Yeah- Yeah, I understand we're talking about rape. Yeah. I mean- Yeah, I mean I'm just- I'm just a little bit loose about it right now, because, you know, I have never personally been raped, and uh- [talking over Kacey] and uh- If it is- I mean it does not happening right now-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, yeah, I mean if you haven't been molested, that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen to other people.
 '''Chris:''' -but- but- I'm j- na- a- bu- ye- I'm just saying- but, yeah. It's like- It's like- Yeah, I would definitely uh- be offended, and I would uh- want to make sure that person got life or uh- or something more appropriate-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, like I said, I know you've never been molested or raped or anything, but you've got to try to see it from their point of view.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Yep! Their point of view... Yeah, I w- Yeah... I would definitely be of- I would definitely be offended and not- and hurt. I would want that person... to be sentenced to life and imprisonment and jail and all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly! 'Cause I know it's never happened to you, and I know no one's molested or raped you, but if it happened to you when you were little, wouldn't you want them to be locked away? I mean wouldn't you feel fear if you knew that person was still out there?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I would be scared if I- if I knew that person was still out there.
 '''Kacey:''' So you should be thankful that you've never been molested or raped when you were a child.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am thankful fo- I am thankful for that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean- Or even now. It doesn't matter how old you are.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah... Hmm... Hmm... Mmkay, well, aside from that uh- Aheh. Heduh- hah- I went back to thinking about the bears. Heh heh heh heh!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter] Yeah! Going from that to bears, I guess. I don't see a logical way, but okay! [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' I-I was thinking about the comic for a little relief. Heh ha. Ah, a little comic relief. It's fun... Hm... Anyway, I'll wa- Alwee- Also- Anyway, earlier tonight, I watched the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' But why don't you care? I mean you're just going back to bears. I mean this actually bothers me because these are things that, as a nurse, I'm going to have to deal with.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean this stuff happens every day. I mean go to a darkness to light website, look at it... I mean people-
 '''Chris:''' Lotta bad stuff.
 '''Kacey:''' -people a- children are molested by people that they trust whether it's family members or um- people in power, like, in schools, or doctors, or just random people-
 '''Chris:''' I hear you. I hear you... Yeah, I hear you, but I mean uh- I was just trying to uh- lighten things up after we've been talking dark for the past couple of minutes- for the past few minutes.
 '''Kacey:''' But that- But it's life, Chris! You can't just block out life!
 '''Chris:''' I'm- I'm not blocking it out.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you are. You don't want to talk about bad things. I get it. That's not very mature.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay, well, I mean- Yeah, I me- Yeah, I mean it is necessarily- necessary sometimes to uh- talk about dark things. It's not like we have to talk about them ''all the time''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, we're not talking about them all the time. It just came up. You're the one who brought it up.
 '''Chris:''' I mean j- I mean I was just bringing up, like, you know, that the Roman Polanski finally got arrested for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, then talk about something else.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uhnkay... Hn. Earlier tonight, I watched the- I uh- watched the uh- the season premieres to the uh- t-the uh- series premiere- the uh- first episode of The Cleveland Show, the new Family Guy, and American Dad.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! How did you like them?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I enjoyed them, although I liked The Cleveland Show and uh- Family Guy episodes more than I did the American Dad episode. Uh- It was just like uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Well, I don't really watch them anymore. What did you like the best? So, um, yeah, tell me any highlights.
 '''Chris:'''Yeah, yeah I - Yeah I from the Cleaveland show you know I you know, yeah. Cleaveland has his own spin-off show now and uh, heh. And you know H-, I thought it was good, yeah? Yeah, he moved to his home town in Virginia aft-after his house in Quahog was taken by Loretta after the divorce finally finalized. And uh Cleaveland junior is fourteen years old now. I mean, if you watch the classic family guy episodes from the show Cleaveland junior being a little rascal. [meek laugher] 
{{transcription}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ixzcy3c9z2ovpk5 mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Christopher's name change

2011-03-28T01:11:34Z

Westbound: /* Christopher as a separate personality */

[[Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Godbear|I am Godbear Almighty; walk before me and be blameless. No longer will you be called Christopher; your name will be Christian, for I have made you a father of [[CWCville|many nations]].]]

At age ten, Christopher Weston Chandler '''changed his name''' to [[Christian Weston Chandler]] as a result of events in December [[1992]]. His name was legally changed the following year. Given the significance Chris ascribes to his identity and his name, it's no wonder that he continues to consider this to be one of the most significant events of his life.

==Leonard Bearstein==

Chris credits his name change to "Leonard Bearstein," an animatronic bear in a musical program presented at shopping malls and other venues. The Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra ([[wikipedia:Leonard Bernstein|I see what you did there]]) is still in operation to this day, running shows in North Carolina, Virginia, and elsewhere during the Christmas season. The Leonard character is designed to be fully interactive and engage in conversations with the audience via a human operator behind the scenes.<ref>[http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein's website]</ref><ref>[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leonard-Bearstein/205357189065 Leonard Bearstein has a Facebook FFS]</ref> During a shopping trip to Richmond in 1992, the Chandler family encountered the Bearstein show at Regency Square Shopping Mall. Chris was evidently fascinated by the spectacle, and due to the light turnout that day, he received considerable attention from the interactive bear. The performer operating Leonard asked Chris his name, and misunderstood "Christopher" as "Christian." Chris and his family seem to attribute this error to the Leonard's English accent, rather than the fact Chris was talking to a man over a microphone built into a robot bear. For reasons understood only by him, Chris adopted the new name and insisted upon being called by it.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992|Wikipedia autobiography]]</ref>

On 29 December 1993, the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' ran [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|a fluff piece]] on the incident. The story drew a connection between Chris's experience with the bear and his successes in finding an autism-friendly school and winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], and reported the family's decision to begin the legal process to rename him. It also quoted Chris's father [[Bob]] as admitting that he had wanted to name his son "Christian" to begin with, but had pussied out (although what he was afraid of remains unclear).<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|Richmond Times-Dispatch article]]</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Christopher|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]], 52:22</ref>

==Significance today==
[[Image:Crystal.jpg|thumb|right|Who the hell is Christopher?]]
As even a cursory examination will reveal, Chris is fixated on his own name and events from his childhood. Thus an event which resulted in him having ''two'' names to obsess over is of supreme importance to him, even after almost twenty years. However, Chris routinely glosses over key details in the story--at times he will simply refer to "Christopher" or discuss being renamed by "a conducting Bear" as if no further context is required.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]</ref> For example, the [[troll|trolls']] first real insight into the event comes from this brief note in Chris's [[DVD]] slideshow:

{{quote|Before moving from Ruckersville to Richmond, in December of 1989, my family and I were watching the Regency Square Bear Band perform. When the Conductor asked me my name, I told him "Christopher", but apparently he was english, since he misunderstood me and called me "Christian". The name change settled in. Originally when I was born my father wanted to name me Christian, but he chickened out and named me Christopher.|Chris's note in his DVD Slideshow<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts]]</ref>}}

As seen here, even at age 25 Chris saw no need to explain why he would change his name at the behest of a total stranger, ursine or otherwise.

Chris's fixation on his identity came to the fore during the [[Liquid Saga]], when he was confronted with an impostor of himself. In his struggle to affirm his uniqueness in the universe, Chris reluctantly conceded that Liquid might truly share the name "Christian Weston Chandler," but clung to the idea that he and he alone was ''born'' Christopher Weston Chandler and later ''became'' Christian Weston Chandler. (This of course missed the point that Liquid was not merely taking credit for Chris's accomplishments but claiming to ''be'' Chris, name change and all.) This became a recurring theme in Chris's videos at the time, as he would repeatedly cite his name change as something that the impostor could not possibly claim as his own.

Since Liquid and others were constantly accusing Chris of being an impostor of Liquid named "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]", Chris frequently asserted the authenticity of his name. However, the name change clouds the matter, and Chris could not even use a phrase like "my God-given name" without qualifiers:

{{quote|Call me by the real name that God and the bear has given me throughout my whole life.|Chris makes no sense, 06 August 2009<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref>}}

Along with Chris's tendency to refer to God and Jesus in the same breath (or even [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|the same word]]), this quote gave rise to the troll meme that Leonard Bernstein is an aspect of God, or rather '''Godbear'''.

==Christopher as a separate personality==

[[Image:Recent Activity.jpg|thumb|250px|"Christopher" in action]]

That Chris's preadolescence has a name unto itself seems to encourage Chris to treat "Christopher" as a former life. In his KCWC dedication series, Christian dedicated a song to Christopher and explained the distinction:

{{quote|Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the one that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me in [[heterochromia|my one blue eye]]. And in my heart and soul. Cuz he is me, I am him.|Chris, 12 August 2009<ref>[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 4: #6 and #5]]</ref>}}

Shortly thereafter Chris briefly tried to imply that Christian and Christopher were [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], going as far as faving [[gay]] [[pedophile]] [[anime]] videos on [[YouTube]] in the name of "Christopher". However, he quickly abandoned the act, and later admitted that he made the whole thing up in a [[Mailbag 4#Dissociative identity|mailbag response]].

Despite Chris's assertion that Christopher lives on in him, it would appear Christopher's spirit haunts the grounds at [[14 Branchland Court]], judging by the account of ace field agent [[JenkinsJinkies]]:

{{squote|I went over to Chris's house with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too;
strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. Troll." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' shittin' my pants here. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the Elementary School were; they did not understand me and my mind. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an abusive babysitter called "Roache" locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at James Madison University; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence. [...] I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and Patti, protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave.|Jenkins reports on the Chandler household, 27 July 2010<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|From the [[scrapbook]]
Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|From the [[DVD]]
Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|Bearstein performance in the Regency Sq. Mall
Image:Godbear.jpg|A challenger appeared, beware Raptor Jesus
Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg
Image:Leonard Bernstein.jpg|[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|No relation]]
Image:Angrybear.png
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]
*[[Carlos Chantor]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein's website]
*[http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/timesdispatch/access/615847621.html?dids=615847621:615847621&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT Richmond Times - Dispatch article, 29 December 1993]
*[http://www.regencysquaremall.com/ Regency Square Mall site]

[[Category:Events]]

Kacey Call 22

2011-03-13T22:50:23Z

Westbound: