CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2015-06-17T16:57:33Z

WhatAPsychopath: /* Alec Benson Leary */

Hot damn another one. I'm downloading now, and I guess I'll volunteer for the first five minutes of BITCH TRANSCRIBING!--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:09, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
* Think I'll pick up where he left off. This one looks like it's gonna be fun. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:32, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
** At 41:06, I think I hear a sickening belch on Chris's end. Is this significant? --[[User:DonB|DonB]] 20:39, 27 February 2010 (UTC)
***My personal standard is that if it's hilarious or disgusting, it's significant. The belch is both.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:47, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Isn't there any more audio? It just ends at Alec saying "mis-" at 46:07. --[[User:Mikhail Faulken|Mikhail Faulken]] 06:09, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*Chris hangs up, hence why the call ends abruptly. --[[User:Bystander|Bystander]] 06:18, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
**Godjesus, what an asshole. --[[User:Mikhail Faulken|Mikhail Faulken]] 06:21, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
***Chris just gives always the same answers " the trolls, the slander, the stress", but this is the phonecall with the biggest count of stress sighs so far. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 06:32, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
==Alec Benson Leary==
Is the greatest man that ever lived.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:33, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*I second that motion!--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 07:18, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*I have to support this. How many people dared calling Chris a liar and a hypocrite to his own face? On the level of intensity, this is on par with Kacey's Father Call. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:23, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*I agree whole-heartedly. '''[[User:Odettafag|Odetta]]''' [[Image:moemon 492.png]] 03:35, 27 February 2010 (UTC)
*Goddamn, what a trooper. --[[User:WhatAPsychopath|WhatAPsychopath]] ([[User talk:WhatAPsychopath|talk]]) 16:57, 17 June 2015 (UTC)

my favorite part is when alec forgets who he is. lol [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:21, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

==I've Learned Something==

It seems that Chris is unable to tell the difference between a parody and a remake. Also, Alec needs to start saying things like "If you go ten seconds without giving me a correct answer, I'll assume you were going to say yes. One, two.....". Also, Chris clearly isn't thinking--he's stalling for time. And have him turn off the TV all the time, I'm certain he's using it to distract himself from Alec.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:59, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
:I don't think I agree with that. I think he was just trying (and failing) to say that deriving something that's already derivative isn't cool. I don't think he realized that he was admitting Sonichu was derivative when he said that. Here's a thought though: Earlier in the call Chris says he disagrees with Alec's claim that sandy is still a ripoff of Simonchu because he's basically Simonla, (remake of a remake) then later cites the robot chicken episode about Remaking remakes as proof that remakes are bad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:28, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

:I don't think he stalls for time. Two of the immutable laws of being Chris are: A) My actions are always justified and B) I have all of the best qualities of humankind. Often times, those two laws don't reconcile, but as much as he's coddled, he's rarely put into a position to reconcile them. I've noticed the longest pauses in these calls happen when Alec corners him into basically admitting he's being an unfair shithead (e.g. why is it okay for you to parody other people, but it's not okay for you to be parodied?). I think his brain is fervently looking for an answer that not only justifies his actions but doesn't make him look like the bad guy or less than perfect. But there is no answer like that in some of these questions, so he just sits there, searching for something that doesn't exist and unable to respond until he finds it. [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 05:46, 27 February 2010 (UTC)
:: So when he was comparing his brain to a computer in the [[Father Call]], he was accurate, but in a totally different way. As opposed to his brain being 'random', it just locks up and/or shuts down when it comes up against a paradox. Poor bastard. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 15:21, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

==If Chris wasn't so retarded...==
He would've actually had an argument that could've worked. When Chris and Alec were discussing Simonla and Chris suddenly went off on a tangent about Sonichu, if it had occured to the manchild to point out that Simonchu could be considered derivative of Sonichu, then he could've at least partially backed up his use of Simonla and backfired Evan's and Alec's argument against them. Anybody else notice that, or am I mistaken about Simonchu in this regard? [[User:BouncyTEM|BouncyTEM]] 14:20, 27 February 2010 (UTC)
* That would mean admitting by implication that Sonichu is a mere derivation of Sonic the Hedgehog/Pikachu. Chris ''has'' to concede that Simonla is the exclusive intellectual property of Evan because it bolsters his own claim that he has full copyright over Sonichu. His mistake from his point of view was openly admitting that he used Evan's design. That said, what you're suggesting probably never occured to Chris because he's an incorrigible cretin. [[User:Blusko|Blusko]] 13:57, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

==Stardate?==
Chris says that his birthday was yesterday during the audio, which would place the recording on February 25th. However, the listed stardate is February 18th. I'm not sure if anyone has more accurate information. - [[User:Boop|Boop]] 21:42, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
* Fix'd. - [[User:Boop|Boop]] 22:24, 9 August 2010 (PDT)

Biological clock

2015-06-17T16:09:08Z

WhatAPsychopath:

'''Biological clock''' is the [[CWC-ism]] that [[Chris]] uses to refer to his [[Wikipedia:circadian rhythm|circadian rhythm]] (his sleeping pattern). Although this is technically not an incorrect use of the term, [[Wikipedia:Biological clock|biological clock]] is almost exclusively used to refer to a woman's child-bearing years, so Chris just sounds (even more) stupid when he yammers on about fixing his biological clock. Chris most likely confused the term "internal clock" (which does refer to circadian rhythms) with the term for female child-bearing years. One of Chris's reasons for needing a [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[sweetheart]] is to fix his biological clock. Chris's infatuation with [[Ivy]] can be traced to the fact that she vaguely helped Chris have a normal, set sleeping pattern.

He first explained his sleep habits in an edit on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article:
{{quote|YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from [[My Coke Rewards|Coca-Cola]] to [[Wikipedia:Pepsi|Pepsi]] to [[Wikipedia:Powerade|Powerade]]. I have a lot of stored [[Wikipedia:caffeine|caffeene]] [''sic''] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking biological clock as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty. BIG REASON I need a [[Sweetheart]], so she can help me back on track towards getting back to the morning hours that I used to have during my [[Manchester High School|High School years]]. Fucking [[Adult Swim]](tm) and [[mass debating|random projects]] keep me up all night as well.|Chris, 11 [[2007#November|November 2007]]. <ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.se/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821</s></ref> (Note that Powerade is not a soda and contains no caffeine.)}}

He is oblivious to the fact that the real reason he used to sleep during the night in high school is that he used to actually have some reason to get up in the morning. Parents (and college students) know that it's common for schoolchildren during the summer to get their sleep patterns messed up because they now can "stay up as late as they want." Since leaving [[PVCC]], Chris has had no job, few friends, and no life outside of [[mass debating]], making up things involving [[Sonichu]], and his [[Love Quest]], allowing him ample free time to stay up all night drinking [[Navy|caffeine]]. Yet, despite never leaving the house (thus negating the purpose of a standard sleep cycle), he seems to think that it's a perfectly valid excuse for not uploading comics on schedule.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #2]]</ref>

Chris's nocturnal habits during much of the [[2000s]] appear to be the primary reason that "Attraction Time" during his [[Love Quest]] occurred in the mid-to-late afternoon. On 23 [[April 2012]] Chris wrote that "I knew I was gone for too long [from [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]], but my internal clock kept me awake at night... and prohibited me from being a day person",<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#April 23]]</ref> suggesting that his irregular sleep schedule has caused him to be absent from his church for a considerable period of time.

==Uses by Chris==
* Chris mentions his biological clock (without explaining what he means) in one of his e-mails to [[Miyamoto Saga|Shigeru Miyamoto]]. This is the first recorded instance of his use of the term.
* For some reason, the biological clock became a major element of Chris's relationship with [[Ivy]]. He thanks her for "fixing" it in [[CWC Update 9 April 2009]], [[A CWC Audition]], and [[Chris Sings Lovin' You]], as well as the bizarre dream-sequence page about their romance in [[Episode 19|Episode #19]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]]. He also mentioned this in his AIM chats with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia userpage]].
* Chris mentioned his broken biological clock during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], and added that his mother had the same problem at the time.
* On his [[Twitter]] feed, Chris has blamed the biological clock for his odd schedule a couple of times, in [[December 2009]] and [[January 2010]].
* In [[Mailbag 47|Mailbag #47]], Chris talked about his "recent biological clock reset", allowing him to return to a regular update schedule for his comics. This didn't last very long.
* The [[Alec Benson Leary calls]] contain a good deal of biological clock discussion, particularly in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|call #2]] and [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|call #3]]. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|call #7]], Alec tries to explain to Chris that he's gotten the meaning of the colloquialism "biological clock" completely wrong, but Chris refuses to believe him.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[ShutUpBrain and WakeUpBrain]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Mumble 7

2015-06-16T21:30:38Z

WhatAPsychopath: /* 28:35 Chris impersonates various cartoon characters */ fixed many format errors

'''Mumble 7''' is the seventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 13 [[February 2009]].

Appears to be the genesis for the "Power" videos in which Chris attempts and fails to prove his [[I AM STRONG|strength]] and [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge For Clyde|skill]], though these would not materialize for several months.

==Summary==

* A fan talks to Chris about putting naked posters of girls and pictures of men up in his room up to find out if his friend was a [[homo]] as Chris suggested. He tells Chris that his girlfriend dumped him over the posters and his friend ignored all of them. Chris sees nothing wrong with his advice until Julie tells him that she wouldn't like that. Chris recommends sending an anonymous letter explaining the situation and utterly fails to apologize or show concern.
* Fans point out that Chris shouldn't have to show and prove that he is straight.
* Chris cuts a fan off to let Julie ask a question involving [[pedofork|shota]].
* Fans ask Chris to turn his radio down.
* Chris uses Wal-Mart printer paper & RSVP ballpoint pen to draw, and a 50-pack of Crayola markers to color. Refuses to use color pencils or Photoshop to color, saying he prefers the markers.
* Chris talks about Omicron's redone version of [[Sonichu]], accusing him of plagiarism. Says that the difference between what Omicron is doing and what he is doing is that Sonichu is his. Agrees to let Omicron continue if he credits Chris with the copyright.
* '''Julie is convincing Chris to make videos proving to Clyde how strong he is.''' Chris feels that the [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|dildo breaking video]] proved this. Fans say that Chris's dildo comes apart naturally for cleaning.
* '''A fan recommends making a video showing off his fighting moves to scare Clyde.'''
* Chris is asked why he would use a dildo in proving that he is straight. Chris says that he is straight for crushing it, fans call him a [[homo]] for keeping it.
* Chris [[lie|denies]] [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|using the dildo]], and claims that it's now broken. Fan says it could easily be reassembled. Chris is adamant that it was glued and that it took a lot of strength to pull it apart.
* When asked by Julie, '''Chris admits using super-shears from Cutco to break the dildo glue, claiming to use a lot of strength in the process'''.
* Fans discuss [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]. Chris insists that it was drawn in protest of [[ED]]. He says it was anonymous, as most women have long brown hair and her eyes were censored.
* Insists that [[:File:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|the Rule 34 of Angelica Rosechu]] is masturbating and enjoying it, and is using her hand to do it.
* Chris thinks Billy Mays is on Home Improvement.
* Chris isn't doing anything on Valentine's Day, as Julie is not there yet.
* Chris discusses the the No-Redheads policy in his [[Love Quest]]. Says that redheads don't attract him unless they are not natural redheads. No piercings or tattoos allowed.
* Chris is OK with blue hair.
* Does a terrible Marge Simpson impersonation.
* Chris impersonates Comic Book Guy and Donald Duck.
* A fan presents the possibility that AIDS was sent by God to kill the [[homos]].
* [[Chris and Religion|Premarital sex being forbidden in Christianity]] is discussed. Chris fumbles for an explanation.
* '''A fan pretending to be black says he believes the government made AIDS to get rid of black people. Chris says that that's the kind of thing a black guy would say'''.
* Premarital sex comes up again. Chris compares it to using porn to practice and learn skills for later.
* The fake black fan calls Chris on his comment from earlier about black guys and AIDS. He makes the excuse that someone else said it first.
* Questions on Sonichu start. Sonichu doesn't wear clothes because it's a comic. Chris isn't sure how [[Blake]] sounds. He might sound black, he might sound like Shadow the Hedgehog. The fake black fan asks why the bad guy has to be black, also mentioning [[Silvana]]. Chris says that he doesn't have to be.
* Chris gets annoyed about the pronunciation of [[Rosechu]] as popularized by the Old Narrator of the [[Audiobooks]].
* '''Chris doesn't disagree that the Audiobooks made Sonichu more popular that he ever did'''.
* He doesn't mind fanfics that don't portray Sonichu in a bad light.
* The audio goes low in the main chat and a fan has a private, unrelated conversation for a few minutes.
* Audio comes back as Chris is admitting that the [[B-Manajerk]] was black in real life.
* Chris doesn't watch the news, so doesn't have an opinion on [[Barack Obama|Obama]]. He voted for him because he saw a documentary where he saw more of himself in Obama, namely that he was an outcast at one point.
* A fan says that you should vote based on politics, not personality. Chris says that he is a moderate.
* Chris doesn't know what the financial bailout is. He says that he drew the [[Sonichu 8#The Elevator Gags|racist picture]] of Obama based on his father's joke, before he saw the documentaries that made him vote.
* Chris will not agree or disagree with interracial dating/marriage. He would want a white woman, but he would be [[gal pals|friends]] with others.
* He'd marry an Asian.
* It's not yet known if Silvana will be a good guy or if she will lose her [[pickle|dick]].
* '''Chris doesn't know what he wanted to be when he was younger, he's just making it up as he goes along'''.
* '''Chris is keeping the name changes in the comics for legal reasons'''.
* A fan suggests Slaweel cursing Rosechu to have a dick. Chris gets upset before saying that he'll think about it. The fans think it's a great idea. One considers a talking penis for Rosechu. Chris says it's a stupid idea.
* Another fan asks about Chris being sacked from Wendy's. He denies scaring the child with his Donald Duck impersonation, saying that he didn't make him cry.
* Chris might release his DVD one day.
* A fan says that Chris has influenced underground rappers such as Immortal Technique, who has sampled him.
* Chris takes requests. Impersonates MC Hammer, Dr Nick Riviera, Peter from [[Family Guy]], Mario and Sonic, butchering them all and tainting our childhood memories.
* More Sonichu questions. '''Chris won't upload [[Zapina]] [[Rule 34]] because she is underage and Chris is worried about legal ramifications'''. When he is reassured that this would be legal, he says he would consider it. He will also consider Sonichu-Rosechu anal sex. Rosechu would not clean the [[pickle]] with her mouth, she would clean it off with a washcloth. He would not sell the the washcloth on EBay.
* Chris calls a stop to the potty humor displayed throughout the Sonichu questions.
* '''Chris denies that [[Yawning Squirtle]] is a character'''.
* Fans ask for a joke. He recites a dreadful rhyme about Videogame consoles. He then tells his awful [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]]. Fans start to tell racist jokes about [[niggos|black people]] and Mexicans. Chris calls for a stop to this.
* A fan says that his friend [[mass debating|masturbated]] to the [[rule 34|adult section of Sonichu]] and is now worried that his friend is a [[homo]], as they were drawn by a man. '''Chris says that this is what he intended it for''', and they are drawings of women, so his friend is straight. He doesn't masturbate to his own drawings.
* Chris reassures a fan that [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] in the same room as another man isn't gay as long as both men are thinking of women, but he would not do this.
* Chris offers no comment as to what constitutes adultery.
* Chris says that he is patriotic. Asked to sing the national anthem, he instead mangles a few lines of "My Country, 'Tis of Thee". He then tells a 'patriotic' joke that is insensitive to Mexicans. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|The fans call him on his "no more racist jokes" statement from earlier]].
* Chris does a poor impersonation of Mr T.
* Chris says that if you are married, sleeping with someone else isn't cheating if you have consent from your spouse.
* Chris gives more advice on homos and recommends Axe body spray for attracting girls.
* Chris has not met any celebrities, only local DJs.
* Does impersonations of Homer Simpson and Bender. The two sound identical.
* Chris gives dating advice: Stay calm, polite, friendly and don't let your nerves get the best of you. Say "Hello, how are you" and talk about yourself. '''[[Barbara|His mom]] told him that standing around with a sign makes him look retarded. A female fan cracks up laughing and can't stop'''.
* "Those who can't, teach"
* Chris says he has never even been on a date. Rejects dating suggestions from fans.
* '''Chris was close with Sarah "[[PandaHalo]]" McKenzie, but hasn't heard from her in over two weeks. He heard about the fires and doesn't know if she's still alive. When a fan adds that 108 people were killed in the fires, Chris responds to the entire ordeal with [[Chris and death|"It's OK though, at least I have a good woman who's willing to be by my side at this point"]]'''.
* When pushed, he says he feels remorse for the the victims of the fires and is concerned that [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda]] is dead.
* He asserts that he didn't abandon Sarah for [[Julie]].
* '''A fan says that if [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] isn't alive, Chris should take solace that her perfectly barbecued remains fed the survivors. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|SHUT UP!!!]]'''
* Chris says that he cares about Sarah and Julie equally and wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. A fan asks what he will do to the survivors who ate Sarah. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|"SHUT UP!!!"]] and demands that he be booted.
* Fans reassure Chris that Sarah is probably OK.
* Chris does abominable impersonations of Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks and Hank Hill. '''He sings "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There"'''. He also impersonates Meowth and sings the Team Rocket song.
* [[Clyde]] enters. Chris refuses to answer questions and leaves.

==Transcript==
===Chris proves he is straight===
'''Guy:''' Chris! 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all! ''[echoes]'' 
'''Guy:''' I'll be damned. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all. 
'''Fan:''' Uh, Chris-[gets cut off by another guy] 
'''Chris:''' Uh you know, can't com- it's uh, can't complain. 
'''Other Guy:''' How's construction of the site? 
'''Fan:''' [unintelligible] so Chris 
'''Chris:''' Yeah? 
'''Fan:''' Well I...I need to ask you something. 
'''Chris:''' Yup? 
'''Fan:''' Uh... I put those posters, of the... Playboy and everything in my room, and uh, one of my girlfriends saw it, and she got mad at me for looking at other w-... other girls, and she broke up with me. 
'''Chris:''' Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. It could- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, she's calling me a pervert. I-I don't understand this. 
'''Chris:''' Did you... did you ex- did you try to explain to her about situation between you and that guy? 
'''Fan:''' I... I did, and I don't think she understood. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... well, you should try, you should, uh, s-... try, uh, you should try wr-, you should tr-, uh, do you know her email address? 
[pause] 
'''Julie:''' So, uh Chris- 
'''Fan:''' A-also, wait... also, uh, the friend, I was talking about, he, uh, visited, and [typing noises] he, uh, he went into my room, and didn't even notice the posters. He just s-sat in the middle, he didn't s...sit in any uh, part of the room. 
'''Chris:''' Huh. Hmm. 
'''Fan:''' So, uh... so, yeah, I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend broke up with me, called me a pervert, said that I shouldn't be looking at other girls, I mean... I don't know what to do now. 
'''Chris:''' Well listen, uh, answer my question, do you have her email address? 
'''Fan:''' Umm... yeah, but she won't... she won't answer me anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Hm... ok, hmm. Here's what you can do, uh... Do you know your girlfriend's... any of your girlfriend's [[Gal pal|gal-pals]]? 
'''Fan:''' No. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm... well, you should try to... like wr- you should write out... hmm... hmm... here's an idea. S- Write a letter to her and send it via smail mai-, via snail mail, but don't write the return address. On it. 
'''Fan:''' What should I write? 
'''Chris:''' Just like, you know, like, they, you know, this is... you know, this is... you, uh, you put your name there, and you, it's, and then you would basically explain the situation between you and that guy, and that's why you had the posters up, well that's why you put the posters up. 
'''Fan:''' Well I- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible interruption] 
'''Fan:''' I don't really understand what was the point of the posters in the first place? 
'''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' it's... ''[sigh]'' if he looks at... if he, if he is very interested, if he is, if he was straight, he would uh, look at the women. Very much. 
'''Fan:''' But he didn't even notice them. He didn't notice any of the posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, then I guess he is a [[Homos|homo]]. 
'''Fan:''' W...well, um, he wasn't looking at anything, not even the guy posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Hmm... He's not blind, surely. 
'''Fan:''' So, like, what is he, is he like, uh...I don't know. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either, man. But, you know at the moment I would suggest you, uh, write the- write the letter to your girlfriend, send the mail, don't write your return address on the envelope, and, uh, mail it to her. 
'''Fan:''' Also my mom saw the posters and she got offended, she's like really religious and st- she said that like, uh, you know, lust is a sin or some shit. Oh, like she said, she's like all against the, the uhh, the like, Playboy in my room. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, your- apparently your mom hasn't been [beeps] that open minded that time. So, you know, give her time to reh-cover, she'll uh, she might op- she might open up. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I don't think that was a good idea though, I mean, w-why did- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible interruption] 
'''Fan:''' -you suggest it? 
'''Chris:''' I was trying to see if he, to, I was trying to s-help you figure out if your uh, if your friend was a homo or not. 
'''Fan:''' I know, but, do you have uh, [Fans talking] Playboy posters in your room? 
'''Other Guy:''' [unclear] I'm very forward. 
'''Chris:''' I have uh, poster of some, of uh, I have a poster in my room of uh, some uh, naked girls I got from adamandeve.com as a bonus. 
'''Fan:''' Then, nobody says anything about it? 
'''Chris:''' ''[clears throat]'' Well, I didn't really have too many oppor- too many people in my room. So, it's kind of like in a hard to notice place. 
'''Fan:''' Um, wondering, um, If you showed anyone, wouldn't they be offended? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe, maybe not, [Fan grunts] it just depends on their point of view. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I wouldn't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I hear you there. Uh, just to so just sound clear... Julie? 
'''Julie:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Julie, are you there? 
'''Julie:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Ok, uh, would you be offended if you saw such a poster in my room? 
'''Julie:''' ''[breaks up]'' 
'''Chris:''' Uh, What will, what was that? [Echoes] 
'''Julie''' Yes I would, kind of. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well that's no problem, I can take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, see that's what I'm talking about, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' Well, that's why I asked Julie right now, because I respect her. So, because she said that she would, I will take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I've been thinking, um... 
'''Julie:''' Do you have... [unclear] Chris, I don't think you should look at other woman.[sic] In my opinion. 
'''Chris:''' I see, Julie. Well that's fine. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I...I respect that. 
'''Fan:''' She might get jealous, I mean, that's what happened to my...my girlfriend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that's fine Julie, I respect your, I respect that. Just- 
'''Julie:''' Hey, can I ask you a question? If uh, he's done? 
'''Chris:''' Uh- 
'''Fan:''' Oh, uh, one more thing, um, you know I've been thinking, uh, I don't really think you need, you know, posters and stuff like, 
'''Other Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Fan:''' to prove you're straight, I mean, if you're straight, that's all there is to it i-if, am I right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' I think you're right. 
'''Fan:''' I...I mean, you shouldn't have to prove that you're straight. 
'''Julie:''' You're right. 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I m-mean [line breaks temporarily] Y-you shouldn't have to reassure yours-self. You should just be knowing it, and nothing anybody says, should get very, uh... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it's ve-ah-very-but you see, I have like, I have that [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] in my room, it's just, so that like, you know, for in case I have any-for in case I have any random thoughts, on account really, to tempt me. 
''[unintelligible mix of chatter from most participants trying to get their word in]'' 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I mean, even if they're random thoughts, even if they're random thoughts, if you know you're ''positive'' about it, you shouldn't have to look at anything to make sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, usually. 
'''Guy:''' Okay. Uh, moving on from all this homosexuality, uh, I have one question, uh- [gets cut off by Chris in the background] ...never mind, [fat douchebag?] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, ah, let Julie ask a question, let Julie ask her question. 

===7:08 Julie asks about shotacon===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, I was watching you on the Internet yesterday and, what's a shotacon?[slightly cut off] 
'''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, uh-y, I'm sorry, you got cut off, what was that? 
'''Julie:''' What's a sho-[cuts off again]- 
'''Chris:''' ...What's a...''short''? 
'''Julie:''' Shot-[cuts off third time, pretty obvious she's saying ''shota'']- 
'''Fan:''' Dude, shota. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, shota. 
'''Chris:''' Ssshhhh...shota? 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, S-H-O-A-T-A [sic]. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, it's a word he found online. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, [baby?], yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I never heard of that word. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hmm. 
'''Chris:''' I dunno, if you want to look it up, you can probably find out on an online dictionary... 
''[pause, and a weary sigh from someone other than Chris]'' 
'''Chris:''' I'll-I'll take a look. Hang on. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I know some Japanese and I think I've heard that somewhere, like in a magazine or something. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, it's some of that Japanese shit. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Probably is. Three moments, I'll look it up. 
'''Julie:''' Okay! 
''[pause, Chris's radio is audible]'' 
'''Chris:''' ...Whoops, that was the wrong one. The wrong bookmark. 
'''Fan:''' S-H-O-T-A. 
'''Chris:''' I know, I just get the wrong bookmark for...place I wi-for like...dictionary-type website that I have. 
''[pause, Chris's keyboard taps are audible]'' 
'''Guy:''' Uhhh...Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, now that Julie's done with her question, I also had one. 
'''Fan:''' He has to find what that means first. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, ''I'm sorry''. 
'''Chris:''' Shit, ah shit, I've just found it on Wikipedia. It's, uh, it's a ma-it's a Japanese name. It's a name of a person. In Japan. 
'''Guy:''' Really. 
'''Chris:''' It's a Japanese name. I think it's- 
'''Fan:''' Oh no no, I think you're looking at the wrong thing, it's S- S-H-O-T-A-C-O-N. 
'''Chris:''' S-H- I mean- O-T-A-C-O-N? Shotacon? 
'''Fan:''' It's the same thing, just put C-O-N at the end. 
'''Guy:''' I've read it in a dictionary before, can't remember what it means... 
'''Chris:''' Oh, oh! Okay, here it is, uh..."shotacon, sometimes shortened to shota, is Japanese slang of the phrase 'Shotaro Complex'"...uh..."that describes the attraction to young boys or an individual with such an attraction". 
''[Disgusted reactions heard]'' 
'''Fan:''' Oh my god, what the fuck? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' There's lots of sick people. Y'all are gonna get ricked? 
'''Fan:''' Someone from 4 cent garbage came in and told us to look that up, I didn't-I didn't even want to. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' I guess he's a homo... 
'''Fan:''' Don't worry I banned him already. 
'''Girl:''' Um, Chris, Vivian wants to know if you can like, turn your radio down a bit, it's distracting. 
'''Guy:''' Yes, please turn it down. 
'''Chris:''' I thought that was quiet enough, here. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, no, the lady'll probably pick it up 
'''Girl:''' Alright cool. Merci. 

===10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies===

'''Another Fan:''' Okay, um, I have a question, um, I like to draw-[interrupted by mumbling]-I like to draw comics and such, I mean I want to start up a webcomic. What kind of materials do you use? 
'''Chris:''' Um, like, you mean for drawing? 
'''Another Fan:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Well mostly I just use like, uh, paper without lines, like, computer printer paper you can get in, like, Wal-Mart, for an inexpensive price in multiples. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay- 
'''Chris:''' And then I use like an RES—RSVP-brand pen with the black ink. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh okay, is it like, um, a gel pen or a ballpoint pen or- 
'''Chris:''' It's like a ballpoint, it's like a ballpoint pen. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Fan:''' What do you use to color? 
'''Chris:''' I use Crayola brand markers. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I would like to—I would—I would—I would recommend getting the Super Tip 50-pack which you can also find at the Wal-Mart. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. I-[interrupted by someone else on chat] 
'''Guy:''' That's basically- 
'''Another Fan:''' At Wal-Mart I usually get the 24-color RoseArts. Those are—those do pretty good too. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhh, Vivian, just so you—just so you know, I'm using the microphone that came with Hey You, Pikachu for Nintendo Sisty-Four [sic]. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, yeah no, no offense, but uh, personally I prefer like, colored pencils and shit cause-[Chris mumbling is heard]-they're like easier to erase. Photoshop [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' If you want to use colored pencils that's fine, I'm not, uh, saying that you have to use Crayola markers- 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' Why don't you use colored pencils? They're really good, you should try one on like, at least one page, just try one. One page with just colored pencils. 
'''Fan:''' But um, actually, you can—you can scan your drawings and then color—color them in like, Photoshop or something. [rest of chat murmurs in agreement] That looks really professional, and really good. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I prefer using the markers. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' It's just that I-I mean—I mean I've tried—I mean I've colored with colored pencils before, and I just feel best with using markers. 
'''Julie:''' I have a question, um, uh, the Hey You Pikachu microphone, how does that work on the, you're using that on your computer? Did you say? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's just, yeah, it's like you plug it into uh, into the basic microphone jack. 
'''Julie:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. 
'''Girl:''' Excuse me, I have a nice little Plantronics headset. 
'''Chris:''' Um- 
'''Another Fan:''' Hey Chris can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, hang on a second, uh... uh, Omicron, that's uh, you're basically, uh, you're basically plagiarizing here. You're even using, uh, parts of my original drawings to, uh, make up your so called real ones and, you're just—you're just parroting—you're just plagiarizing- 
'''Fan:''' That's dirty and illegal. 
[Unintelligible mumbling] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you said so yourself, you're being illegal. And plus, and plus I'm- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, isn't combining Sonic with Pikachu the same thing? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, but, but but also, look at this, also I'm looking at this site here, it said, he's claiming the copyright for himself, but he's, but he's not. I mean that's like, but he's, he—he says 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' You need to ban him immediately. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, ban him immediately. 
'''Guy:''' Oh wait wait wait wait wait... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah maybe you should check-[interrupted by loud noise, probably Chris] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well he said that, he's saying that all of Sonichu material is copyrighted by him, when it's clearly not. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah but you use Sonic and Pikachu, and you copyrighted it- 
'''Other Guy:''' He just offered to give you credit-[interrupted by noisy chatter] 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I put, I mean, yeah but, I mean, I'm talking about the—the Omnicron [sic] guy here, that's like, just put this link here. 
'''Fan:''' Oh he offered to give you credit- 
'''Julie:''' Yes that's the same thing you did. 
'''Chris:''' Well no no, he, no- 
'''Fan:''' We decided- 
'''Chris:''' No he's plagiarizing MY Sonichu. 
'''Fan:''' We just decided [unintelligible] 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Julie:''' Chris it's, it's a parody, kinda like Sonichu is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but he—yeah, but he's saying, he said—he—on his front page he says, all Sonichu material- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah but he's, he just offered to change it, so are you okay with that? 
'''Chris:''' By changing it to Sonichu X- 
'''Fan:''' No, he said he'll give you credit instead of claiming it for himself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah I would appreciate that, that would be better, yeah, if... he changed that. 
'''Fan:''' Alright cool. 
'''Guy:''' Problem solved. 

===15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes Julie. 
'''Julie:''' Do you think you could tell everyone about my idea? And, since you're going to do it do you think you could tell everyone so they could look out for it? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, your idea... um, oh oh oh, yeah, just basically a video of me standing up to Clyde and showing him how strong I am, doin' a few kicks for the camera or something- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you should throw some punches, show him what you're made of, you know? 
'''Fan:''' Kick, punch, it's all in the mind ''etc.'' 
'''Chris:''' I basically... I pretty much did that when I... 
'''Guy:''' Let him talk, c'mon! 
'''Chris:''' I pretty much did - already proved my strength when I... ripped that... ''dildo'' in half. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Foreign-Sounding Guy:''' Most dildos come apart for cleaning. 
'''Guy:''' C'mon. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but that thing was screwed together at the seam. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Guy:''' Ok listen to me... 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris... 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' Eh Chris! 
'''Julie:''' ...could you do a like further test of your strength for me? 
'''Chris:''' ''stress sigh'' Yeah... 
'''Julie:''' I wanna see how strong you are please. 
'''Chris:''' ...That's fine, I can do that. 
'''Other Fan:''' I mean that's ok, you showed your strength, but you should show her your moves. Like show her, like, what kind of moves you can do. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, let me tell you a story about how this'll work, ok. 
'''Fan:''' See, my, uh, one of my cousins, uh, this guy at school, kept, y'know, picking on him, calling him gay and stuff, and trying to fight with him, and my cousin told him to sss- y'know, one day, the guy said "Hey man, I'm gonna beat you up" and my cousin said "Look, if I show you some of my moves, I'll prove to you I can kick your ass in a fight" and so my cousin, y'know, he stepped back and, he took, uh, he took Taekwondo, and he did a couple moves, y'know? He just stood there for like five minutes just doing his moves, and, y'know, some punches and kicks and... The guy just backed right off; he didn't even want to talk to him any more. So I think that should work. 
'''Chris:''' All right, well I'll try that. I'll try that. 
'''Guy:''' All right. Sounds good. 
'''Fan:''' Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah.<br?>
'''Fan:''' You try- you always mention about how you're straight but yet in your video about you crushing a dildo, uh, doesn't that kinda like, y'know, not help your cause? 
'''Chris:''' No, it proves I'm straight because... 
'''Fan:''' But you have a dildo. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' I got it free with an order on adameve.com 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' But you ''kept'' it and shit. That ain't cool. 
'''Fan:''' What I don't... Why were there batteries in...? 
'''Julie:''' Oh yeah Chris, why ''were'' there batteries in it? Why did you keep it? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' I mean it wasn't an easy thing for me to sell, right off the bat, or even to make a profit, so... 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' In fact in a way it's a good thing I kept it, cause it allowed me to be able to break it, like I did. 
'''Julie:''' Yes but why would you keep it? 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Julie:''' Why would you keep it? 
'''Chris:''' I woulda saved it for my sweetheart, if she'd wanted it. To use it. 
'''Fan:''' Aaaahhh. 
'''Julie:''' But if I were there wouldn't you prefer the real deal? 
'''Fan:''' Some things that metal just can't replace. 
'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' I heard that. 
'''Fan:''' You didn't use it did you? 
'''Chris:''' No I did not. 
'''Fan:''' Did you just throw all the ones you had away? 
'''Chris:''' I only had that one. And there you go, I ri- there you go, I broke it apart. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you just, like, ''take'' it apart, I mean, it did... 
'''Chris:''' No... 
'''Fan:''' ...seem to come apart, like, screwed on... 
'''Chris:''' No, no I did not take it apart, that thing was glued at the seam. I had to put a lot of strength into breaking it at the middle there. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, but I think, um, showing your moves would be better. 
'''Chris:''' Right. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Clyde would mess with you if you show him you can kick his ass. 
'''Fan:''' Hey, Chris's a muthafuckin' ''gangsta''! 
'''Fan:''' Blap blap. 
'''Fan:''' Yes, Chris will fuck Clyde's shit up. 
(awkward pause) 
'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris, didn't you say you used a - didn't you say you used scissors to break the dildo? 
'''Chris:''' Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I pretty much did have to so I could break that ''glued seam''. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, I thought you broke it with your hands. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well I- yeah well I would have but it was dang glued at the seam, so I clipped straight in with the scissors I had. 
'''Chris:''' It's a pair of Super Shears from [[Cutco]]. 
'''Fan:''' ''(feigning interest)'' Huh. 

===19:50 Chris defends his Rule 34===

'''Fan:''' Yeah, let's talk about something else. Uh, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Whenever the announcement of the adult Sonichu page, when I looked at your gallery, very nice stuff, you know, I see a picture of what looks like you with a Sonichu, uh, medallion. Like, and, who's that one girl, exactly? 
'''Fan:''' Who, [[Megan]]? 
'''Julie:''' I thought it was, like, [[Crystal]], cause of the hair? 
'''Chris:''' No, no, it was - it was originally drawn to be Megan but I censored her eyes to, uh, port- to protect her identity. 
'''Fan:''' Mmmmmm. 
'''Julie:''' ''(laughing)'' That's stupid! (?) That's so silly. 
'''Chris:''' I drew that after I found the ED page in November. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you say that? 
'''Chris:''' In protest against it. 
'''Fan:''' I thought you were going to get rid of it anyway. 
'''Chris:''' I tore up the original drawing, I, in- into squares, and I put in in an envelope. 
'''Fan:''' Why did you upload it? 
'''Fan:''' Why did you do that shit? Like, and... 
'''Fan:''' I understand Rosechu, but, like y'know, why, like, something that's from real life. That's the problem (?) 
'''Chris:''' It's not necessarily from real life, it depends on you inter- it depends on your interpretation, I mean it's hardly- I mean, '''most women have long brown hair, and the eyes are censored''', so... 
(laughter) 
'''Fan:''' ''Most'' women?!? 
'''Fan:''' I remember in that one video you were saying it was Megan. 
'''Chris:''' Because it broke, because it end up, because it the end it broke up my friend - broke up my friendship eve, my uh, friendship with Megan. 
'''Julie:''' Um, can I ask you a question? In the third picture, with [[Angelica Rosechu]], what is... what's happening, is... God... doing...? 
'''Chris:''' Nope. She's masturbating. And she's enjoying it. 
'''Julie:''' But she has no hands there. How's she doing it? 
'''Fan:''' She's ''enjoying'' it. 
'''Chris:''' But she does... She does... 
'''Julie:''' Yeah but how's she doing it? She doesn't have her hands there. 
'''Chris:''' She does have her hands, she's... ''(stress sigh)'' She's... like most women would be able to do the same thing. 
'''Fan:''' I thing it's the angle, Julie. I think it's the angle you were looking at it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah plus uh, the picture wasn't, uh, very - wasn't as clear as, like, you know, I would have liked to have had it, uh, I mean, I had that file for a while, and it... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah some of those are kinda blurry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, some deg- some degraded. 
'''Julie:''' ? a good question, have you drawn anything... of... have you drawn anything like that with me? Cause I would actually like to see, if you did. If so, could you, and let me see? I, uh, sorry, that's very rude to ask. 
'''Chris:''' Um, I'm sorry, let me answer this guy. Yeah, well, I made a retraction video later saying that I- I disowned that address. 
'''Fan:''' Ah, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Just after that guy hacked into it and changed to it to suck. And as such. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm gonna take a look at that... My Youtube... 
'''Fan:''' I like this song. 
'''Chris:''' What song? 
'''Fan:''' The song that's playing in the background of, uh. 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, what do you think of, uh, what do you think of that guy who advertises products, Billy Mays? What do you think of him? 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... Billy... Oh! Yeah he's an ok guy, I watched him on Home Improvement. 
'''Fan:''' Billy Mays? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... 
'''Fan:''' No, that was another guy on Home Improvement, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' No that was the same guy. That was the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Really?!? Let's look up. IMDB, go. ''(sound of typing)'' 
'''Chris:''' Believe me, it's the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, I really enjoyed your, um, adult, uh, section of the site. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... okey dokey, very good. Aaahh, trying to figure out how to update the link on this thing here. Oh, maybe under here. Oh there it is, thank God (?), update right now. 
'''Fan:''' ''(singing)'' You spin me right round baby, right round... 
'''Other fan:''' (joining in) Like a record baby, right round round round 
'''Fan:''' It's a classic, I can't help in man. 
'''Chris:''' There you are, updated. It's finally fixed. 
'''Guy:''' Actually that was Richard Karn on Home Improvement, not Billy Mays. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well my mistake, I mean the guy had the beard and uhh... 
'''Guy:''' Oh yeah I can understand. 
'''Chris:''' And the voice sounds- and the voice sounds the same... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. They sound the same. 
'''Guy:''' I guess. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' There's a matter of interpretation apparently I misinterpreted so I will admit that I was wrong. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah see we all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' (unintelligible babble or singing) 
'''Fan:''' Have you gotten any fan art submissions or notable? For the uh- webpage? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I got one today... It's like mostly a drawing of that uh that uh- of the fan herself. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' -got in the snail mail today. 
'''Guy:''' -Sunday. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Hmmmm... 
'''Guy:''' What are you doing for this Valentine's day Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhm... I'm sorry, what was that question? 
'''Guy:''' What will you be doing this year on Valentine's day? 
'''Chris:''' Hm depends... 
'''Guy:''' Ahhh, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. 
Fan: Surely a man of such magnitude as yourself are going to be doing something important, aren't you? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Guy:''' Magnitude? Way to choose the words buddy. 
'''Other guy:''' Vocabulary talent. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, cause I don't have Julie over here yet. 
(Reactions of OHs and AHs) 
'''Chris:''' If she was here... 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) -play games. 
'''Chris:''' Or we could just uh... talk. 
'''Woman:''' Ehehehehe. Maybe... uh... why no redheads? 
'''Other Woman:''' Yeah? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I was trying to think about that when the other guy asked that question. Uh... I was trying to think up that unh... mmmm... Uhhhh, redheads just don't be very- tract me so much. 
Several: Uh, ah. 
'''Chris:''' It's- it's- a- pi- a possibility that they're dyed. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmmmmm... 
'''Chris:''' But yeah y'know natural redheads enh, yeah, just don't really turn me on as much. 
'''Woman:''' I see... 
'''Fan:''' Have you thought about girls with um, highlights? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... (pause) aaahhhh... what turns me on hhh- (inhales) (pause) obviously the women. 
'''Man:''' Gotta have the women. (?) 
'''Guy''': What about piercings or tattoo? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, neither of those. 
(Pause) 
'''Chris:''' Ehhhh- 
'''Guy:''' Hey (unintelligible) 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris! How bout like non-orange hair, not like... no, never mind. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... oh... okay... hmmm... 
'''Julie:''' Wait Chris! How do you feel about blue hair? 
'''Chris:''' Blue hair's okay, otherwise I wouldna- Otherwise I wouldn't've liked Sailor Mercury. 
'''British? guy:''' That is true, she does have blue hair. 
'''Guy:''' She's a very fine character. There is no way to deny it. 
'''Black guy:''' Blue hair is OFF DA HOOK!!! 

===28:35 Chris impersonates various cartoon characters===

'''British??? guy:''' Doesn't Marge Simpson have blue hair as well? 
'''Chris:''' (in some kind of insane voice) Oh yeah! Marge Simpson has blue hair and it's as tall as the Empire State building!!! 
(Some HMMs UHs and UMs follow) 
'''Julie:''' Yo Chris!! Can you do some impersonations for us? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Oh we'd love to hear that! 
'''Chris:''' I just did Marge Simpson. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah you're really talented. 
'''British??? Guy:''' Yeah. 
(Several people talking at once) 
'''Julie:''' -they're really good. 
'''Guy:''' Do another SimpsonsChris, how about Comic Book Guy? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Mmmmhmmm... 
'''Chris:''' Oh I'm very indeed. Oh aren't we all promiscuous and whatnot. I like Batman and Robin, oh look! Stan Marsh has come into the thing again - I forget that guy's name, that guy who did the Marvel comics. 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Julie:''' Stan Lee. (Pause) Chris do your Donald Duck impression. 
'''Chris:''' Everybody have fun (incoherent and scary quacking) 
'''Several:''' (laughter) 
'''Guy:''' Chris you should work for Disney. 
'''Fan:''' That's good Chris. 
'''Guy:''' Have you ever considered being a voice actor? 
'''Chris:''' Errrrrp... possibly, I'm not sure. 
'''Fan:''' (incoherent, cut off by Chris) 
'''Chris:''' (incoherent... another cartoon voice) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris, you're a Christian, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Guy:''' I was just wondering- 
'''Chris:''' Ahm actu- 
'''Guy:''' -do you just- 
'''Chris:''' I'm actually a Methodist church. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome, I was just wondering: Do you think AIDS was sent by god to kill the homos or do you think that it's just an accident or something man-made? 
'''Chris:''' The thou- the thought never occurred to me... thought never occurred to me. 
'''Other guy:''' can you do an impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger? 
'''Guy:''' Hold- the question... 
'''Fan:''' Let Chris answer the question. 
'''Chris:''' The thought- the thought never occurred to me about what you just said about the AIDS there mmmm... but y'know, it's a possibility and I will not agree nor disagree with it. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I was just wondering I mean, I've had that discussion with some of my Christian friends. I just wanted to get your opinion, thank you. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Mmhhh... 
'''Julie:''' I think (clears throat) I think Omicron has a point and you did tell me you went to a methodist church didn't you? So that's- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well th- well my Methodist church is uh more loose on- is not as strict on uh- on uh sex. 
'''Julie:''' Chris I don't know- I don't know that much about religion in the States but I don't think there is a looser Meth- Methodist church. God makes the rules Omicron says. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, hmmm... 
'''Guy:''' Well, you know personally I think that the government made AIDS to kill off all the brothers. 
'''Fan:''' Whoa, whoa... That's what the blacks always say. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. (pause) I'm going to agree, that sounds like something that uh... well, a black guy would say. 
'''Guy:''' So your church is kinda of uh- they let you do- their kinda loose on the whole moral restrictions? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... (pause) uhhh... that's... what's the question? 
'''Guy:''' Your church they- you said they're kind of more uh- y'know they're less strict on the whole moral thing, like, as far as sexuality goes? Right? 
'''Chris:''' -ah basically. 
'''Guy:''' But y'know, uhh, I thought you're supposed to listen to the Bible or whatever not, y'know, not necessarily- no, never mind. 
(Pause) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris- 
'''Other guy:''' (interrupts) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, there's also a uh, there's also a- think about this uh, if you uh- if you- if you were a think uh- you have to find for yourself a good meaning behind uh- good meaning behind watching pornography to uh- like teach how it- how to do this and that when you actually get around to doing it... 
'''Guy:''' That's all ??? 
'''Chris:''' That's all's considered education for yourself. 
'''Guy:''' How is that realistic at all? 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, it's uh- not a really good thing to learn from, trust me. 
'''Chris:''' It can be done before marriage as well as long as me and my sweetheart really love each other very much. 
'''Fan:''' But not in Christianity. 
'''Guy:''' But all I'm saying is y'know, porn is completely, completely unre- unrealistic I mean you can't really learn anything from it. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' It gives- it gives you enough ideas. 
'''Julie:''' (unclear) 
'''Other guy:''' (incoherent) porn. 
'''Guy:''' When you actually have sex, it's nothing like porn. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Maybe not like you, you not gonna do it- 
'''Accented woman:''' You can't do it immediately- immediately anal sex cause most women are not very happy with anal sex and also... 
'''Guy:''' Okay, shut up 
'''Accented woman:''' -and also weird- 
'''Guy:''' Shut up. 
'''Accented woman:''' Yes. 
'''Guy:''' And... that wasn't cool, like... 
'''Fan:''' That was uncalled for... 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, like, suthin' a BLACK MAN would say... 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Other guy:''' That's racist man... 
'''Chris:''' Well, somebody said it on here first before I did. 
'''Guy:''' Does that make it ok? 
'''Julie:''' Chris, I think he's trying to make it clear that- I dunno. 
'''Chris:''' I typically agree with that guy. 
(pause) 
'''Julie:''' So nothing g- it doesn't make it ok. 
(incoherent)
'''Chris:''' (babbling) I wi- I'm sorry, I take it back. 
(pause) 
(unclear) 
'''Guy:''' Guys can we get back to Sonichu, Please? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah this is getting ridiculous. 
'''Guy:''' (unclear) -Sonichu actually. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Anyway, my question is that: why does Sonichu not wear clothes while Rosechu and the other Rosechus do wear clothes? And underwear? 
'''Chris:''' Aaaaaaaaaamp... It's like uh- it's basically a cartoon and it doesn't really matter, it's like... mm... think about this: Most cartoon characters wear at least one article of clothing. At least one article. And uh- it's like Yogi Bear who just wears a necktie and a hat. 

'''(From 35.14)''' 

'''Other Guy:''' I think it would be cool if all the Sonichus and Rosechus got together and they and- they all formed a big team and they had special uniforms or something, kinda like the X-men. 
'''Fan:''' Or Power Rangers. 
'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, I don't do- I don't do well- I'm not in- no uniforms. It's a uniform and other Sonichus and Rosechus. 
'''Guy:''' I'm just wondering if you'd do another impression: What does Blachu sound like? Uh, Black Sonichu? Or Blake? 
'''Chris:''' Eeeeuuunh... Eh... ahhhh... 
'''British guy:''' Can you imitate it? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... I'm not sure... uhhhhm... 
'''Guy:''' Like does he sound black? 
'''Chris:''' Possibly, but I'm not certain. I'm not leaning towards it. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I'd like to hear it, but if you don't want... 
'''Chris:''' I just never- I just never really thought about that. I'd say that he possibly sounds similar to uh, y'know Shadow the hedgehog. But he could possibly sound, black. He could. Don't quote me on it. 
'''Guy:''' All right, I was just wondering if you'd do his voice but... 
'''Black guy:''' Hey why does the BAD guy gotta be black? 
'''Chris:''' I never said the bad guy "has to" be black. (pause) I mean, look at the- the range of villanies, I mean there's black and whites and uh... male females. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I noticed that uh- Silvana's also... black lookin'. 
'''Chris:''' I just decided to color her black because she was born- she came from outer space from a black egg, which was the- which came out of the rainbow. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah, I was also wonderin' about that like- 
'''Chris:''' I- I- I- 
'''Black guy:''' If Silvana came out of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yes it's- 
'''Black guy:''' Why would she be black? 
'''Chris:''' (babbling) 
'''Black guy:''' I mean like black ain't part of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' It's like the black sheep of the family. Y'know you put all the colors together and it does become black. 
(unintelligible reactions) 
'''Guy:''' -like a brownish- 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) is a (unintelligible) color. 
'''Fan:''' Maybe it's because she's from space and there's not a lot of light in space and it's dark or something. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah that- a uh yeah- that's one of the- 
'''Other guy:''' Hmmm. 
'''Woman:''' Uhm, did you look at the link of my friend? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, ummmm... 
'''Woman:''' Yeah, since you love blue hair. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Uh- no I haven't looked at it and I don't wanna make Julie feel jealous if I did- if I went and did. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Julie would mind. 
'''Woman:''' Uhhh... 
'''Fan:''' You look at pornography don't you? 
'''Woman:''' (mumble) 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' No, that- that was two syllables "Rose-chu". You don't- don't add- don't say the "e" it's just "Rosechu". 
'''Fan:''' Yeah you went over this last chat. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:'''(I don't know, it sounds like "narrator") 
'''Other guy:''' Uh. 
'''Chris:''' (sounds like he says "narrator" again) 
'''Other guy:''' Uh... I was just- 
'''Chris:''' No, well, obviously the uh- the narrator who did those audio books was incorrect. Specially since I never gave that person the approval to do the audiobooks. 
'''Fan:''' I think it's just a fan project and I think he- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Fan:''' and I think he might have one of the West coast dialects. I know that the South they say y'all but over here- 
'''Chris:''' Well obviously he lied- 
'''Fan:''' -different. I'd be proud if they made one of my projects into an audiobook though. That means that there are a lot of fans out there that really like it. 
'''Other guy:''' Ay. 
'''Fan:''' They're not selling to try and make any money off it. They're not trying to rip you off. They always made sure- they always narrate the first page by saying "Christian Weston Chandler" so they're not trying to cheat you or anything. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' The people know you're making it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I- I hear that. I just, apparently they misin- misinterpreted the (audio breaks up) name Rosechu. Or mispronounced it. Misinterpreted, mispronounce- fairly the same thing in that situation... possibly. To answer that question... possibly. 
'''Guy:''' Uh, Vivian said that the audiobooks made Sonichu way popular that- than you could ever ever do on your own. 
'''Chris:''' Well, I will not disagree with the statement. And I appreciate her help. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. Would you be offended if a fan wrote a fanfiction about Sonichu? 
'''Chris:''' Faaanfiction... if it's- if it's not demeaning or makes them look stupid. Then it's fine- it's fine. (pause) Like I did mind when, shoot, what's his name? That guy... uhhhh... that guy that the uhhhh... did the animations, on his computer. 
'''British guy:''' You did mind or you didn't? 
'''Guy:''' Animations??? 
'''Fan:''' I think I know what he's talking about. Are you talking about the um... 

(background noise begins) 
''Background voice:'' Well the original play was a Greek play. Where they're all y'know... Greeks... and crazy stuff happens and they're all runnin' around in togas. So if you ever wanna see the movie "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" it was a classic and it had some real classic people from the 50s and 60s in it. Kinda like "It's a MAD MAD MAD MAD World". Sort of a classic old school movie from funny old school world. First color movie type thing. But that'll be a high school play. You'll wanna see that. You might actually enjoy it. (unintelligible) 
(inaudible response) 
''Background voice:'' You never know that might be fun to do. Well I guess that wouldn't work on the weekend then... you gotta... 

'''(FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, IT APPEARS THAT THERE WAS SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEM THAT CAUSED ANOTHER MUMBLE CHANNEL TO BE RECORDED WHILE THE CONVERSATION WITH CHRIS BECAME BARELY AUDIBLE BACKGROUND NOISE. INSTEAD ALL THAT CAN BE HEARD IS SOME BUTTFACE YAMMERING ABOUT FILMS AND TELEVISION SHOWS. I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP TRANSCRIBING IT. CHRIS IS STILL TALKING AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS, BUT NOTHING CAN BE UNDERSTOOD OVER THESE GUYS.)''' 

'''(AT 42.56 THE AUDIO SUDDENLY RESUMES NORMALLY)''' 

'''Unknown person:''' Uh you- 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I uh- noticed he's another BLACK villain. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah in real life he was black. Without meaning any offense to the uh- black guy in general, cause you've noticed, among the Jerkops there's uh- we got black's and white's, males and females. 
(pause) 
(several people jump in at once) 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) -you've never drawn a female officer before. 
'''Chris:''' Well y'know uhhh... uhhh, comic book number 7, near the end. Near the end of the time travel episode. Uhh, I have no opinion about what Obama's doing cause I don't watch the news. 
Accented woman: But you voted for him, didn't you? 
'''Chris:''' Yes I voted for him because I saw myself in him when I com- when I saw both the documentaries and downloaded them for the Playstation Network between Obama and McCain. I mean voted for a person I saw more of myself of- 
Accented woman: You usually vote for someone based on their political leanings, not how you view them. As I were Republican, I voted for John McCain. Not because I liked him but because I- he had the same political views as me. 
'''Chris:''' Well, basi- basically I'm a moderate. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh, I see. Um, I was wondering. I was reading opinions: do you agree with his financial bailouts? 
'''Chris:''' Hm, I don't even know what it is. So I can't disagree or agree. 
'''Other guy:''' Well, to make it short um, it's about uh- the government- President Obama is planning to uh- a new one- (cuts out) 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry what? 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' You got cut off there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Uhh, ok, we lost him. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yo, Chris, uh, do you, you didn't just vote for Obama cause he was black, did you? 
'''Chris:''' No, I did not vote for him because he was black. I voted for him cause I saw myse- because I saw myself in him. In like, similar lifestyles. And I saw that he was a good man, I mean after all, com- I saw- I saw I watched both of the A&E documentaries, before I can- before I knew who I would vote for. 

'''(From 45.29)''' 

'''Julie:''' Chris:, Chris what did you see in him that you say in your self? 
'''Chris:''' Like for one thing we were like outcasts, at least one point in our lives. 
'''Black man:''' Wait, wait hold up earlier you said that you thought he would probably paint the white house black. 
'''Chris:''' Oh oh that was my father’s joke he said that. 
'''???:''' Is your father a racist? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but you see I drew that for him before I saw the documentaries so respectfully withdrew that comic page. 
'''???:''' does your father hate black people. 
'''Chris:''' Not necessarily but it’s just how my father just how my father that does not reflect in any way that’s how he felt (annoying ass noise in the background) 
'''Black man:''' Man that racist. 
'''??? :''' Hey Chris I so the ahh saw the Sonichu and Rosechu love sack that you put up and I thought if was pretty cool for (you adult friends?) I just had a question though: do you have any plans in the comic to have romance between you and one of the hedgehogs I mean- 
'''Chris:''' (Yelling) No no no 
'''???:''' -we would like to see that. 
'''???:''' I mean is was just wondering because there are fans how would like to see that. 
'''???:''' Now- now that you answered the his question my kind of relates to his what are your thoughts on inter racial breeding and marriages? 
'''Chris:''' I would not agree of disagree with them but in my personal preference I would fell- I would feel more comfortable in having a full relationship with a white woman but I am willing- am still willing to be friends and acquaintances and give and have respect for the black women as well. 
'''???:''' What about Asians like Japanese? 
'''Chris:''' I’m ok with them as well (yelling) a once. 
'''???:''' So would you get married with a Japanese woman? 
'''Chris:''' hhhmmmm I would have, yes. 
'''???:''' (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' but I’m giving Julie to opportunity here. 
'''Clyde:''' Julie’s a lucky woman. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris, I was just wondering, is Silvana gonna become one of the good guys, like- like Black Sonichu did before? 
'''Chris:''' There’s a possibility but I have not given that a co- I have not confirmed that yet. 
'''???:''' Uh, is she gonna lose the male sexual parts and become a full-fledged woman? 
'''Chris:''' Hhhmmm possibly but I haven’t given that- I haven't given that thought either. 
'''???:''' Also um I was reading (?Phillip’s?) question, Chris what did you want to be when you were little? 
'''Chris:''' I don’t remember, I do not remember. I’m just making it as I go basically. 
'''???:''' is there ever gonna be like uh, an end to your sonichu series like a finale? 
'''Chris:''' hmmmm I don’t know, probably would not. 
'''???:''' Oh so it keeps going and going? 
???: You ever consider making comic about the history of CWCville? 
'''Chris:''' Hhmmmm an episode dedicated towards that possibility. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris are you going to keep the name changes that you made or are you going back to the original names? 
'''Chris:''' Ahhh ya I’m keeping the name changes. 
'''???:''' But you know umm Nintendo was umm, y'know, they sent you a letter you never really talk about it further. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but at least- at least- the hel- they use to benefit me for the fact that uh allowed me to fix noting in that sense so I couldn’t be sued by such people in that sense. 

'''(From 50 min)''' 

(scattered reactions) 
'''Chris:''' So the name changes were good. 
'''Guy:''' So uh, Chris I was wondering if uh Mary- Mary Lee Walsh Or I guess the new name: Ryam Sla- I don't know- 
'''Chris:''' Sla-weel. 
'''Guy:''' Slaweel, thank you. Uhm, if she were to use her magic to curse Rosechu with a penis, would Soni- what- wou- would that test the relationship between Sonichu and her? While they were fighting the battle to have it removed, I'm just curious. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh... Firstly uh, she does not- she does not have the power ch- to do that. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I just thought you know, remember you did the story about 4-cent-garbage and drawing all the- the picture and- 
'''Chris:''' Ah you what, that's one- that's one thing: drawing them, but not actually putting them on the character. 
'''Guy:''' Cause I think that would be like an epic story though, like to actually have a quest- 
'''Fan:''' I'll second that. 
'''Guy:''' -to go to have that penis removed from Rosechu. I mean it's a test of romance between her and Sonichu. 
(muttering) 
'''Guy:''' And when that prevails and the penis is removed and everybody- everybody lives happily ever after. Y'know that would be awesome. 
'''Chris:''' Unnnnnnnh, I dunno I have to- I dunno I have to think about that. 
'''Fan:''' It is a really good idea. I like it. 
'''Woman:''' I do too. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah, that's good. 
'''Other fan:''' It could show just how much Rosechu means to Sonichu. 
'''Chris:''' Well I'll- I'll consider it but I'm not making any promises. 
'''Guy:''' We understand. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
(several talking at once) 
'''Guy:''' -decided on that subject? 
'''Chris:''' I'm working on it. 
'''Guy:''' If you actually decide to go forward with that story? Do you think maybe- maybe you could give her a talking penis? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid!!! 
(laughter from various people) 
(unintelligible responses) 
'''Fan:''' Ok, I think- I think we've talked enough about that one guys. 
'''Other guy:''' I have a question that doesn't involve penises. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other guy:''' Anyway, my question is since we've been hearing lot of vicious lies and slander about this, could you confirm exactly why you've been fired from your job at Wendy's Chris? Cause we've been hearing all sorts of- of crazy things and we wanna know the truth. 
'''Chris:''' Mmmmmmmm... well, firstly, what have you heard? 
'''Other guy:'''Well we heard that uh you... we've heard so many things like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... also that- also that is correct but I did not scare the child. The child was tired, I was only trying ta- I was only trying to make the child feel better. That's a little amusement. But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired. 
'''Other guy:''' So you didn't help them cut their food and... yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I did help them- help them get their food to- by giving them uhh, by giving them bags and a top for their baked potato boat. 
'''Guy:''' Chris, when will um, the pictures of Zapina, appear on the um, 18 plus page? 
'''Chris:''' Well that was a deleted scene! That was a deleted scene. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Why was it deleted? 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Well, basically, hhh... y'c- y'cant' really have it if you don't have Rosechu working to take the- working to take the pictures of herself up in the bathroom. Cause like can't have one without the other. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaahhh... 
(pause) 
'''Woman:''' I don't know if this is a good question but there's something I wonder about that- we kind of have this DVD you made and... y'know, we never unfortunately got... but I'm curious um... do you ever plan to release it? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe. 
'''Other guy:''' I'd pay money for that, I think everyone else here would probably pay money for it too. 
'''Fan:''' Indeed. 
(pause) 
'''Other fan:''' (breaking up) I wanna ask a question. 
'''Guy:''' I hear it's also on YouTube. 
'''Fan:''' Chris do you know that you've influenced the rap/hip hop community? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmh... uh. 
'''Fan:''' I just wanted to mention that because I saw some YouTube videos and it- and- and from some underground hip hop artists such as Immortal Technique and they've sampled some of your voice audio complaining about your struggles with uhm... with the school board, with the security guards and they were- they felt so empowered that they actually took those words and mad'em into a very powerful rap song. How does that- how is your reaction to that? 
'''Chris:''' Enhhhh... basically I have not watched those videos so... I don't have an opinion. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I will provide you a link to that, hold on a moment. 
'''Chris:''' Oh that's ok, actually I uh, did sample one. The one where they basically played the parody from "Can't touch this". 
'''Fan:''' No, no, trust me it's waaay more serious than that. 
'''Chris:''' Well I still haven't heard of- heard of what you're talking about. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other fan:''' Nevermind. 
(rustling and moving noises) 
'''Guy:''' Can you do an impression of MC Hammer? 
(more clicking and rustling) 
'''Chris:''' Can't touch this do do do doo do dooo Can't touch this! Do do do dooo do do do... can't touch this. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome. 
'''Other fan:''' That was- heheheh. 
'''Other guy:''' Awesome. 
'''Guy:''' Can you- can you do Dr. Nick Riviera from the Simpsons? 
'''Chris:''' HIIII EVERYBODY! 
'''Other fan:''' Hello Christian Chandler. 
'''Other fan:''' Hi Chris. 
'''Other guy:''' Hi Christian Chandler. 
'''Chris:''' Well that should say Dr. Nick cause that's who I'm imitatin'. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
'''???:''' That uh- 
'''???:''' HELLOOO EV'RYBODY!!!! 
'''Guy:''' Well that- 
'''Chris:''' Hi Dr. Nick! 
'''Fan:''' Thank you, I love the Simpsons. 
'''Guy:''' Can you do... Peter from Family Guy? 
'''Chris:''' Enhenhenhenh... Hey Lois! Look at me! I'm just (unclear) you nose, and I'm eatin' your nose. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh that's dead on. 
'''Woman:''' Oh would you- Omicron's been interested in tis- would you actually make a documentary like- like your other DVD but make your daily life? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... I'm... yeah I might but uh... I'm not su- I'm not sure bout it at the moment. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaaaaaaanh... 
'''Guy:''' Chris can you do Mario? You know from Super Mario? 
'''Chris:''' Hay paisano! How you doin' mistah hedgehog! 
'''Guy:''' That's very good. 
'''Chris:''' And then Sonic- then Sonic would say "what?!?" 
(giggling) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris do you have any plans to make a video of yourself taking a dump on a Hexbox? 
'''Chris:''' No! That's gross. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah that was pretty sick right there. 
'''Accented woman:''' Let's ban him. 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's bad enough I cut in half with an axe. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' and one of the elevator jokes... 
'''Other fan:''' Oh we remember that, that was a classic. 
'''Chris:''' And I earned a trophy for that. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmm... 
'''British guy:''' Yeah, I remember that, it was destroying a Hexbox by cutting it in half if I remember... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' If I were to draw nude Zapina fanart, uhm, would you put them on the site? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... uhh, your- you uh- free to draw them at your- at your own- own preference, but I will not be- I will not put it on the website because- cause- because I will not want to break any laws of having underage portrayals- portrayals of underage nudity. 
'''Fan:''' Isn't Dot a child? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry... what? 
'''Fan:''' Dot, from Animaniacs. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) 
'''British guy:''' So-uh- uhm- I think I looked up somewhere that um, drawings do not count, they're just lines on paper not like real pictures that are horrible. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah I believe- 
'''Chris:''' Draw- 
'''Fan:''' (cut off) 
'''Other guy:''' Those illustrations do not count as child pornography. Because with drawing it's art- it's artistic merit. 
'''Chris:''' Welll... I dunno, I guess it depends I have to- but- y'know you could do the drawing and I'll think- I'll consider it. 
(typing noises) 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, would it be possible to get any pictures of Sonichu having anal sex with Rosechu? 
(pause... thumps and feedback) 
'''Chris:''' I'm considering that but... 
'''Accented woman:''' Who keeps letting this person in? You are very offensive. 
'''Fan:''' -and and, if you draw those, do you think that Rosechu would actually clean Sonichu's penis off with her mouth (laugh) w-when they're done? 
'''Chris:''' Unnnhh... 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Nah, no, I don't think so, I think- I think- I think it would be unh- yeah w-wash it off with a washcloth. 
'''Fan:''' Do you think then, at that point then they would sell the washcloth on eBay? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid! 
(people talking over each other) 
'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no more potty humor, all right? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah alright, okay 
'''Fan:''' Unrelated to party humor, I want to ask that in your Springbreak uhh Issue of Sonichu you had an introduction of a, of new character, the [[Yawning Squirtle|squirtle]] and I wanna ask 
'''Chris:''' (interrupting) No, that's, no, no, no, that's not just a character, I was, I was not introducing a new character, I was just doing like a poster thing for a bubble speak under one, I thought I just draw some water type pokemon un-in there 
'''Fan:''' I understand but the thing is there is huge cult following for that character and I strongly suggest that you should capalize on that and, and make him to a main character 
'''Chris:''' Eh... No, I don't think so 
'''Fan:''' Yeah 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's just sleeping Squirtle work- waking up! 
'''Fan:''' I don't know, people just thought he was really cute and yawning Squirtle, I don't know, I heard someone say, man wouldn't it be great if he would be that [[Autistic|dopey]] sidekick that he'd come and they'd be like, like, he'd come in and say something silly after someone did something and they would be like "Squirtle"! 
People laughing and talking over each other 
'''Julie:''' Um... 
'''???:''' Yo, it makes you *unintelligible* (Chris and someone talk over another) 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes Julie? 
'''Julie:''' I'm asking you about... Hm... Never mind, I lost my train of thought. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' That's okay. These guys made me lose a train of thought as well. Doesn't multiple inputs. 
'''Fan:''' Yes, kinda lotta control here. I might- I may have to... never mind 
Silence 
'''Fan:''' I never lose my train of thought because I have a GPS tracking system on it. 
Laughter 
'''Fan:''' Oh, that was a good joke. (chuckle) 
'''Fan:''' Yeah 
'''Fan:''' Chris, could you tell us a joke right now. Just any joke. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, here is a fuck- here is a funny- here is a funny mind scream. Funny rhyme scheme... not to be taken literally: 
On your Game Boy Advance SP 
create 'yer MII 
den play it on WII 
with your PSP 
hooked to your PS3 
cause it's fun 
see? 
And never ff, and never play a [[Hex Box]] 360 
Because it's stupid and you're not a dummy (in childlike voice) 
Mock laughter 
'''Fan:''' That is really good.
'''Fan:''' Chris is that something you made up? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I made that up. 
'''Alucard:''' Chris, Chris, can I write that down and tribute to quote you that? Oh man, that's good 
'''Chris:''' (unintelligible) So you mean to type it up and you quote me on the rhyme scheme? 
'''Alucard:''' Yeah, I'd like that. I've been thinking about making a quote book like a mini Chris quote book like something you could open and have a cool line to say when you're on a party and you're like right things. 
People talking over Chris and Alucard 
'''Chris:''' Alright, well I'm typing it up for Alucard, so... 
'''Alucard:''' Thank you. 
'''Julie:''' Chris, can we hear one more? 
'''Chris:''' Okay well here, okay um, okay here is an [[Christian's sex joke|adult joke]] I once come up with a long time ago. 
'''Fan:''' This is going to be good! 
'''Chris:''' Alright- Alright there's this married couple, Bob and Jane, and they've been- they were looking forward to having children. So, one night, Bob comes home from work, and uh Jane says, "Hi, you had a good day, dear?" And he sa- and she sa-- he says, "Nah, it's been a long day, darling" And she said, "Well, it's okay, why don't we go upstairs, and we'll have some Breakfast." And he says, "Breakfast, at Nine p.m.?" And she says, "Sure, you bring the MILK, and I'll get an EGG." 
'''Fan:''' Yo, I heard that before, man. 
'''Chris:''' And then later, they had a boy and a girl, Junior Bacon and Orange Juice. All Part of a Balanced Breakfast. 
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif]] 
Perplexed silence

'''Fan:''' Hey, Chris, how do you solve a Mexican tank? 
'''Chris:''' Stand in front of it? 
'''Fan:''' No, man, shoot the guys pushing at it. 
Laughter 
'''Fans:''' Oh that's a good one. 
'''Other fan:''' I got one. 
'''Other fan:''' How do you get a bunch of [[Niggos|blacks]] in a car? 
'''Chris:''' I don't know. 
'''Other fan:''' Throw some chicken in. 
'''Other fan:''' How do you get them out of the car? 
'''Other fan:''' Job application. 
'''Fans:''' (laughter) 
'''Fan:''' What do you call a beach of black people buried up to their necks? 
'''Fan:''' Afro-turf. 
'''Fans:''' (laughter) 
'''Fan:''' Oh, I came up with one. 
'''Fan:''' Alright, what's the difference between a black man and a pizza? 
'''Fan:''' A pizza can feed a family of four. 
'''Another fan:''' How do you stop black people from jumping on a bed? 
'''Chris:''' Alright, enough racist jokes. 
'''Another fan:''' Put velcro on the ceiling. 
'''Chris:''' Enough, enough black jokes. 
'''Fan:''' Okay, uh Chris. 
'''Other fan:''' Sorry 
'''Fan:''' I showed by friend that over 18 site, and he said, that he um, he um, you know he, he masturbated to it. Does that make you feel (interrupted) 
'''Chris:''' That's good, that's basically the reaction I would be going for. Among the male ca... among the male population, being attracted to the women. 
'''Fan:''' But those are your drawings, it's like, I think he's gay now. I mean, you're a guy and you drew those. 
'''Chris:''' I'm drawing, I'm drawing female characters. 
'''Fan:''' Yah, but it's drawn by you and you're, like, I don't know. It's kind of awkward for me. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. 
'''Other fan:''' Hey Chris, I actually need to thank you, the pictures on that site, it looked like the camera was inside Sonichu's penis when Rosechu was giving him a blowjob. That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I've always wanted to have a camera in my penis so that I could see that if I ever got a blowjob, that would be awesome, I just wanted to say thank you very much for that perspective. It's the first time I've ever seen it. 
'''Fan:''' There's a question here on the site, oh sorry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well I see it... no I don't basically masturbate to my own drawings. 
'''Fan:''' But you're okay if other people do, right? Even guys? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
'''Fan:''' You're okay if other people, you know, masturbate to your drawings? Even if they're guys, right? 
'''Chris:''' If the guys are masturbating to the female drawings, then yes, that's fine. 
'''Fan:''' I just thought it was kind of awkward, but maybe I'm seeing it a different way. 
'''Chris:''' I doubt that, uh, having a whole bunch of drawings of naked female characters can be misinterpreted as something else. 
'''Another fan:''' Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes? 
'''Another fan:''' Can I to ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Another fan:''' One time, a friend and I were looking at porn together, and we masturbated together, but the porn was straight, ordinary porn. Is this gay? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, where you looking at naked women? 
'''Another fan:''' Yes, but we were in the same room, masturbating. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, if you both were thinking about the naked women you were looking at, then I would definitely say you both are straight, cuss you're not thinking about each other, you're thinking about the women. 
'''Another fan:''' Right. 
'''Fan:''' Would you do that with someone? 
'''Another fan:''' I'm relieved. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh. 
'''Fan:''' Man, nigger you gay. 
'''Other fan:''' Shut up. Would you do that with someone? Like a guy? 
'''Chris:''' No, no I'd rather not. 
'''Fan:''' Nah, I'm straight dog. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I'd, yeah I'd rather not. 
'''Fan:''' Omnicron has a question on here, on the side here. 
'''Fan:''' You see it, or? 
'''Chris:''' No. That's not straight. 
'''Fan:''' Alright, what about the earlier question. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah, the one before. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, which one before? Oh, you mean... 
(All talk at once) 
'''Fan:''' Chris, what do you think about- 
'''Other fan:''' Wait, wait let him answer. 
'''Another fan:''' Let him answer that one. 
'''Fan:''' I was gonna rephrase it but okay. 
'''Chris:''' I'd say it would depend on your interpretation, what is adultery to you? 
'''Fan:''' But, you know, isn't the Bible only supposed to be interpreted, it's the word of God, you're not really supposed to interpret it any other way. 
'''Other fan:''' It is what it is. 
'''Fan:''' It's in English. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh, I have no comment. 
'''Fan:''' That's okay. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, that's what my, uh, you know I was talking about my mom saw those drawings. I mean, not the drawings, the posters, the playboy posters and that's basically what she got bad about. She said I was committing adultery. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah okay, if you don't want to talk about it, fine. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, hmmm, I think you shou, I think you should, uh, when you, I think I can see where this could be interpreted one way or another, it depends on how you look at the woman. I mean, alright, you're looking at the, uh woman, you might imagine her naked, but, I mean, you would respe- I mean, you would, you would still respect, I mean, if you were still respecting that woman, you would appreciate her more for like who she was aside or in addition to the nudity, then that's not as bad as just, as just only doing it for the appearance. 
'''Chris:''' That's why, uh, that's why the playboy magazines, they give you the introductions of the women. It's like letting you know who they are (unintelligible). 
'''Fan:''' Oh but, yeah, but there weren't any, uh, descriptions under the, yeah never mind. 
'''Other fan:''' Thank you for the clarification Chris. 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, do you love America? 
'''Chris:''' I'm patriotic. 
'''Fan:''' That's good. I was wondering if you could sing the national anthem for us? 
'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:My Country, 'Tis of Thee| My country tis' of thee. Sweet land of liberty. Of thee, of thee I sing.]] I don't remember the rest. 
'''Fan:''' Lands where my fathers died. 
'''Other fan:''' That's okay. 
'''Fan:''' Land of the pilgrim's pride. 
'''Another fan:''' Pilgrim's pride. 
(Fans all start singing) 
'''Fan:''' Stop it. 
'''Chris:''' Hey I'll, I'll tell y'all a funny joke that's kind of patriotic. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, you got this, you got this funny Mexican- you got this funny Mexican guy, and he just, he just come back home to Meh-he-co after an American visit. He's like (high pitched voice) Oh the people there are so very friendly. I mean, I go to the basketball game. I sit in the back row. I sit in the back row. And then, and then, and then all of a su- and then all of the sudden right before the game started, everyone turned around, put their hands on their chests, and they say, "Oh say can you seeeeee"! 
'''Fan:''' I thought you said no racist jokes? 
'''Black fan:''' Yeah man, that ain't cool! 
'''Chris:''' It was a name, it was a name joke. 
(Everyone talks at once) 
'''Fan:'''...Spanish language 
'''Other fan:''' I'm kind of offended by that. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry. 
'''Black fan:''' That's racist dog. That ain't cool. 
'''Fan:''' That's okay. 
'''Other fan:''' You laugh you support terrorism. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Fan:''' What? 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah, what? 
'''Fan:''' ¿Qué?
'''Chris:''' What'd you say? 
'''Fan:''' What the hell? Who said that? 
'''Fan:''' Forget it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other fan:''' I said, you laugh, you support terrorism. 
'''Fan:''' Okay, he's gone. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' (Awful Mr. T impression) I pity the fool, who try and misinterpret things, and twist them around, and then jam new words into my mouth. 
(All talk) 
'''Fan:''' You do a good Mr. T 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah you do. 
'''Chris:''' (unintelligible) no jibber jabber. 
(Fans laugh) 
'''Fan:''' Chris, did you watch the A-team back in the day? 
'''Chris:''' No but, no but, basica- but I have seen Mr. T. And then I also, I also saw when he guest, when he quest starred in an episode of Alvin and the Chipmunks. 
(All talk) 
'''Fan:''' I saw that episode, he helped uh Theodore. 
'''Other fan:''' Theodore was getting picked on, yes. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, you posted a link here. 
'''Chris:''' Well at my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]], uh, sex before marriage is okay as long as, uh, she and I, we love each other very much and truly. 
'''Fan:''' But that's what they tell you, I'm talking about the word of God. 
'''Chris:''' *Sigh* Okay, I'm getting tired, okay, I'm getting tired here, uh. 
'''Julie:''' Yeah, but... 
'''Fan:''' Okay, sorry, no more of that. 
'''Julie:''' Yeah, you're right. Please stay Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, I'll stay a little while longer. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, if anyone does, if anyone asks anything that makes him feel uncomfortable, I'm gonna kick you out of the room. 
(Everyone speaks) 
'''Other fan:''' Chris, could you give me some advice? 
'''Other fan:''' I have a Japanese friend, he's, he's actually 26 and he's never had a girlfriend and we asked him some questions, just joking around one day. And we asked him if his, when he gets married, if his wife wanted to sleep with another man, would he be okay with it, and he actually said yes, as long as she wasn't being forced. Now that kind of bothered us, because us Americans, right, we think that marriage, and you know you're with somebody, they should be faithful, but he doesn't seem to think so, so I wanted to see if you had any advice maybe on what we could do to try and convince him that his viewpoint is wrong. 
'''Chris:''' Well, hmm, it's not necessarily that the viewpoint is wrong. See, the thing is, what, to, to quote, to make it accepta- to make it like as if you're actually cheating on somebody, cheating on your spouse in the marriage, it's like not telling them, not telling him, not telling him or her about it beforehand, but it's like, you know, you, it's like you tell them beforehand and you get their approval, it's, it's okay, even if they don't want to be part of it. But not telling them, that's definitely like uh, cheating on them. 
(Audio cuts out) 
'''Chris:''' Well that's another thing I would have to think about, cause, got a bit of a, couple of items of destruction that need to be repaired 
'''Fan:''' Oh, I just got, I just talked to that one friend I was talking about who, uh, saw your website, the 18 one, and it turns out he's, he's gay, he's actually gay and he fapped to, uh I mean he masturbated to, uh, Sonichu. 
'''Other fan:''' Hahaha, your friend's a fag. 
'''Fan:''' And I think he's... 
(Audio cuts out for 15 seconds) 
'''Fan:''' ...about that? 
'''Chris:''' Well, I think in case you would definitely want to let him know that you are straight and you don't want that kind of relationship, and maybe, and you know 
'''Fan:''' Should I tell him just to get the hell away from your site? 
'''Chris:''' Um, I'm not saying that, but like, uh, you know, you don't want that kind, you don't, I mean that's, that's basically confirmed on that note. So, uh, you want, you still wanna be friends but you don't, but you're not into that kind of thing. 
'''Fan:''' I mean, he was looking at your site, like, the 18 site and he was in like, um- 
'''Chris:''' Over 18. 
'''Fan:''' The over 18 site you made. The loveshack. I thought he was just like, you know, masturbating to Rosechu, but it turns out he was attracted to Sonichu. 
'''Chris:''' *sigh* Uhh. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I don't think I'll be friends with this guy anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, yeah, then tell him, yeah, to get the hell out of your house and stay away if you don't want to be friends anymore. 
'''Other fan:''' Seems like you know too many gay friends mister. 
'''Fan:''' Oh shut up. 
'''Another fan:''' Hey Chris, you know how- 
'''Fan:''' It's not my fault. 
'''Another fan:''' You know how cologne or perfume, you know, women wear that to try and attract men? Do you think that farts attract gay guys to each other? 
'''Chris:''' Now that's stupid! Not only is that stupid, but it's gross. 
'''Fan:''' Here, I'm gonna take that question and I'm gonna, I'm gonna take that question and spin that into something that's less weird. What would you say the best cologne or whatever a guy could wear to get a girl's attention? 
'''Chris:''' I recommend [[Axe|Axe]] body spray. 
'''Fan:''' Oh yeah? I think I tried that one time. 
'''Female fan:''' That actually does it for me. 
'''Fan:''' What scent do you use? 
(All speak) 
'''Fan:''' Don't you use ass body spray? 
'''Other fan:''' Mmm, love it. 
'''Fan:''' Does the Axe effect, does it really exist? 
'''Chris:''' Does Axe exist? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, the Axe effect. You know, they say in the commercials spray it and girls will come to you. 
'''Female fan:''' (unintelligible) and it works for me. 
'''Fan:''' Has it worked for you Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, well, yeah, I, yeah I haven't got that working for me. 
'''Fan:''' I think it's a scam personally. 
'''Other fan:''' I mean... I mean, Old Spice is pretty good. I had, I had like a couple of girls go up to me asking me for dates with Old Spice. 
'''Female fan:''' I actually wore that Orion scent, uhh, still smelling it. So it will work Chris, you just gotta give it time. 
'''Chris:''' Using the Axe. 
'''Fan:''' Cameron but, isn't Axe spray for men? 
'''Female fan:''' No no no no no no no, see, see I said a boyfriend, a boyfriend that I met. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Female fan:''' Yeah, yeah. *laughs* 
'''Fan:''' That makes sense. 
'''Female fan:''' Yeah, silly, silly. I have a question for you Chris, what celebrities have you met? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, oh. 
'''Fan:''' Well what I'm saying is the Axe effect doesn't work. Okay, sorry. 
'''Chris:''' I haven't actually met other celebrities in person, my real life, unless you count a local radio DJ. 
'''Female fan:''' Yeah, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I've met the DJ of my radio station 95.1 and [[Excel Saga|Monica Rial]], and meeting Monica Rial was just a treat. 
'''Female fan:''' Ahhh. 
'''Chris:''' It was, it was good. 
'''Female fan:''' Yeah, she's pretty. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Maybe you should go to her and, um, maybe she could be like a contact for voice acting. I mean, you do pretty good imitations. 
'''Other fan:''' Do Homer Simpson! 
'''Chris:''' (Homer Simpson impression) Oh, look at me! I'm a stupid old person, derp-de-derp de derp-de-derp, D'OH! 
'''Fan:''' That was awesome 
'''Other fan:''' Who else can you do Chris? 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Other fan:''' What other imitations can you do? 
'''Chris:''' Oh, a lot. It depends on if you name it, I might recall, if you name the person or character I'll, if I can recall my memory than I will imitate that person. 
'''Other fan:''' Can you try Bender from Futurama? 
'''Chris:''' I reckon I can do a pretty good Bender! I can twist off my arm and, derp-de-derp de derp-de-derp! 
'''Fan:''' Chris, um, since my girlfr-(clears throat)-sorry. Since my girlfriend broke up with me, I was just wondering if you could give me any tips to like, pick up y'know, another girlfriend? 
'''Female fan:''' (unintelligible) Valentine's Day is coming. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. It's gonna be lonely without her, y'know. 
'''Female fan:''' Yeah I know. 
'''Fan:''' Can you help? 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) No I do not know what tha- neither of them sound like in voices so I can't imitate them. (sigh) As for- as for dating advice uh, if you're- when you're going out to meet a woman, and this is like advice that's like it could've been taken from my, taken from my own advice I gave in the, the one in the video I did when I just turned 25. But it was definitely, it was given, but it was offered in this book written by a nine-year-old. 
'''Female fan:''' Mm. 
'''Chris:''' When you're going to uh find yourself a woman, you just try to stay calm. And uh be polite, friendly. Don't uh let your nerves get the best of ya. 
'''Fan:''' What should I say, what should I say here, y'know, to the girl? 
'''Chris:''' Start with "hello" and "how are you". 
'''Fan:''' Should I ask her, should I like do a pick-up line? Do those work? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Um, sometimes. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't exactly count on it in a desperate situation. But I mean like uh, talk about yourself a little bit saying like, "Ooh did you read in the paper today about this article that really caught my eye?" 
'''Fan:''' I was thinking about standing by the wall with [[Attraction Sign|a sign]]. Saying that I need a girlfriend? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, don't- don't do that. That makes you look retarded. 
(Laughter) 
'''Other fan:''' What about wearing a sticker that says you're single. Have you ever tried that? Do you think that would work? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry what was that? A stick- 
'''Other fan:''' Wearing like a uh, a sticker that says "I'm single". 
'''Fan:''' Wait a second I'm not done yet. 
'''Other fan:''' Oh I'm sorry. 
'''Fan:''' I got that idea from your comic. I mean I thought it was a- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. I later learned that that, I already learned from my mother that made me look retarded. (Female fan laughs) To other people, so... 
'''Other fan:''' Ohh. (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' So I stop- So I stopped- So I stopped doing that a long time ago and, I don't know (what payed attention?) 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Mm. Basically I'm running from others that have offered such advice. 
'''Female fan:''' Oh yeah like John Tesh I remember that in your news dash. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. And also it's like uh there's an expression in my elementary somewhere uh, those who can't teach. 
'''Female fan:''' Ah. 
'''Fan:''' Um, I remember (unintelligible). Um, I was um, looking at um (something), how do you feel about Obama swearing in his book? Even read it out loud in the audiobook version. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Hm. (rustling and typing in the background) Hm. Ah, yeah I heard of that, didn't care much, didn't uh give much thought into it so... Uh swearing yeah don't care much for it. 
'''Fan:''' So Chris I was just wondering uh, like can you hear me? 
'''Female fan:''' I can hear you. 
'''Fan:''' Uhh. Does wearing that medallion, does that attract females? I was thinking about making my own. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) You could do what you want, to try and make yourself stand out. Um... But it depends on if you, it depends on other peoples' point of uh you I guess at this point, um... You might want to get a second opinion. I mean it's not like I can see you over da Mumble and uh say what makes you look okay and what makes you look NOT okay. Yeah, g- get a second opinion from somebody else in person. 
'''Fan:''' What about you, do you think that medallion makes you look, y'know, more attractive to girls? 
'''Chris:''' Ehhmmm. Yeah. Yeah I don't know. I don't know. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah I think it looks pretty cool on you. So that's, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Well you could try it, see if you could try and see if it works for ya. 
'''Female fan:''' Speaking, speaking of the medallion, I noticed you wear it on the outside. Have you ever done any replacing the chain on it to something a little more comfortable? 
'''Chris:''' Uh no. It's fine. It's fine. I mean I'd say that this uh the necklace chain with the like a pair- like a pair of- like a pair of keyrings with a belt buckle on them. 
'''Female fan:''' Mm. Alright. 
(typing noises) 
'''Other fan:''' Hey Chris in hentai, the uh guys- like the girls usually say no but the, the guy touches her a bit and she gets into it. I was just wondering if you think that really works, have you ever tried that? 
'''Chris:''' Uh. I'm sorry, could you repeat that? 
'''Other fan:''' I said in hentai, y'know the Japanese um, kinda pornography- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah- 
'''Other fan:''' -usually, the, the girl kind of says no but then the guy starts touching her boobs or something and she gets real excited and gets into it. I was just wondering if you think that really works. Can you just make a girl excited and into you just like that? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh... Yeah I don't think so. I me- I mean in most of the time I'm sure you would probably just, the girl would probably just turn around and slap you right in the face or kick you in the groin. 
(Various pained groans) 
'''Fan:''' I don't know, you were saying it's educational. I think I saw that in a porn too. 
'''Other fan:''' Uh. Also (unintelligible) asked "How far have you gotten with a girl"? 
'''Chris:''' I've never even been on a first date in my lifetime. 
'''Female fan:''' Ohhh. 
'''Chris:''' At this point. 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris? 
(Fans talk over each other) 
'''Other fan:''' I was suggesting uh Chris, I have family in Bristow, Virginia. I've been out there a lot. And you know, they're- I mean, people that I've seen in Virginia don't really like anime and things that much. Have you ever considered maybe trying to meet a girl in the west coast? Because a lot of people, especially universities are into anime culture. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) Yeah but I'm no- I'm not planning on traveling outside of my state. Plus I would prefer to keep it local. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
(Everyone talks over each other) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but to see the world means to have to have the money to actually go see the world. 
'''Fan:''' Well You just have to save up a little bit. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah. I mean you know, trains are good. 
'''Female fan:''' (strange incognizable noise) 
'''Other fan:''' Gas is cheap now. 
'''Other fan:''' You can meet so many people just going on a road trip or just you know, taking the bus or something I mean it's not too expensive, it's cheaper than a plane- (Chris talks over him) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I hear you on that. But I just like, you know, if I want to go on a road trip I'd uh, I would not like to go it alone. I'd like to have my sweetheart by my side. 
'''Female fan:''' Mmm. 
'''Fan:''' The point is you could always get a job. That's what I did once a-(cut off) 
'''Chris:''' Uh. 
(Fans talk over each other) 
'''Other fan:''' -and I wanted to meet a girl? I got this t-shirt that says "ask me about my large and attractive penis" and I wear that to the mall and it works every time. 
'''Fan:''' Are you kidding, really? 
'''Other fan:''' Yes. (cut off) 
'''Female fan:''' Well that's interesting. (laughs) I have to meet you some time. 
'''Chris:''' Ah boy. Uhh, alright, gentleman's clubs um... 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, what was that noise just now? 
'''Chris:''' Noise? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I heard like a (snorts) noise. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Yeah, that was probably me be- because I was like objecting to the uh, when he was describing what it said on his t-shirt. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah that wasn't cool. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other fan:''' You guys have no taste. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah- 
'''Guy:''' Disgusting! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I know. 
'''Fan:''' Okay um. 
'''Chris:'''But it just uh, just it m- just ma- I mean the way I see it, see somebody else wearing that it makes, it uh, it makes- it s- it would appear that guy is only looking for sex and women would be turned by sh- sh- sex right away at that point. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah it kinda sums up (cut off) 
'''Fan:''' Um, so... 
'''Chris:''' Um... (Chris and Fan talk over each other) Yeah let me answer this guy's question. Yeah I don't know much about gentleman's clubs so I can't really answer that question. A, and uh... 
'''Fan:''' What about you though, like when you're looking for a girl, does like sex really matter? Like, to attractiveness? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, er, yeah. Eventually the se- yeah. Attractiveness does matter in one point of view but uh, but if you think about it it's like you want to get to know the person, the woman inside as well. Um, so, (I'd rather be in it?) so like uh, we were very close to each other emotionally and like friends, then the sex. Like uh, how Panda and I were very... close. 
'''Female fan:''' Hmm. 
'''Other guy:''' What happened to Panda? 
'''Female fan:''' Yeah what happened to her? 
'''Chris:''' I haven't heard fermer- I haven't heard from her in over two weeks and then recently there were, there was the fires in Australia close to by where she was. So I don't know whether she's still alive or not. I haven't heard from her in over a coupl- over two weeks. 
'''Other guy:''' That's awful. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah. I heard it was real bad, it was like a hundred and eight people died from those fires. 
'''Black fan:''' Daaaamn! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but you know it's okay that at least I have uh, at least I have uh, at least I have a good woman who w- who's willing to uh be at my side at this point. 
'''Female fan:''' Man... Uh- 
(Multiple people talk at once) 
'''Accented woman:''' -for the people who are dead? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
'''Accented woman:''' So you feel no remorse for the people who have died in Australia? 
'''Chris:''' Oh no no, I DO feel remorse. Especially to Sarah sh- eh- I mean... I worry about her she's still ali- I worry about- I'm concerned if she's actually dead or still alive. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah I'm sorry to hear that. 
'''Chris:''' I me- I mean, I mean I'd li- I mean I pray every day that she's still alive safe and well. And that she contact me soon. 
'''Accented woman:''' But you... you automatically, you basically abandoned her for Julie. 
'''Chris:''' But I did not basically abandon her for Julie. 
'''Accented woman:''' That is what it appear- seems like. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' (sigh)...(sigh) 
'''Fan:''' She could be still alive, you never know. 
'''Other fan:''' Even if she isn't still alive, take solace in the fact with her perfectly barbequed remains fed to survivors. 
'''Chris:''' SHUT UP!!! 
'''Fan:''' Um, that was too far, you're going too far man. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. And at this point I care about both- I care about of uh both of them equally. Both uh Sarah and Julie. But it's like, it's like you know uh, I'm uh stil- if she let's me- if she uh gets in contact with me, letting me know that she's still alive, and uhh she... 
'''Fan:''' But I'm letting you know Julie, if she's still alive what are you gonna do then? 
'''Other fan:''' And if people actually did eat her what would you do to them? 
'''Chris:''' OH SHUT UP!!!! Kick that guy out! 
(pause) 
(laughter in background) 
'''Fan:''' Okay um. Uh... 
'''Chris:''' Uh, but you know in all seriousness if Sarah gets in contact with me and lets me know she's gonna be coming my way in real life, and uh- 
'''Fan:''' You're not gonna dump Julie are you? 
(uneasy pause) 
'''Chris:''' No, I wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. 
'''Julie:''' Oh but! Oh... 
'''Chris:''' Julie I still, Julie I still love you. 
'''Late guy:''' Hello everyone. 
'''Julie:''' But you told me I was your sweetheart, didn't you? 
'''Female fan:''' Oh hello, Doctor. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. (stress sigh) Julie I'm going through a- I'm going through a transition right now so it's kind of hard for me to make uh, short watch of what I say at points and y'know answering these kind of questions. 
'''Fan:''' I'm sorry uh, I don't mean to offend you or anything. Well I was just wondering- 
'''Guy:''' (unintelligible) guy Chris. 
'''Other guy:''' Uncalled for. 
'''Black fan:''' Y'know what, don't worry about Sarah. Cause, y'know it usually takes like, like months for a person, like a victim of a fire or a flood of some crap like that, to y'know find shelter and then phone and internet and all that. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other guy:''' You know, if the place is in a state of emergency, people are getting moved around all over the place, there's people in the hospital, I'm sure she's fine she just can't y'know talk to anyone. 
'''Guy:''' What about Alucard's question? 
'''Fan:''' Wait, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) Uh, I can't answer that question. 
'''Female fan:''' Mm? 
'''Other guy:''' Why not? 
'''Chris:''' Because I'm still in a transition right- I'm still in a transition from Sarah to Julie at this point so uh I can't answer that question right now cause I wouldn't know how to answer it. 
'''Accented woman:''' It seems- 
'''Guy:''' So you "transition"? 
'''Fan:''' It's a hard choice, I can't blame you I mean, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Oh I mean you know what, that's- that's a flat out bad question, I mean I would- I'd be able- 
'''Other guy:''' It's quite valid. 
'''Chris:''' (aggravated) Auuuughh! Okay now I'm gettin' uh, okay now my head's out of order. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Other guy:''' I've had that problem too. 
'''Guy:''' It's never fun. 
'''Fan:''' Okay forget it then. 
'''Female fan:''' Uh okay I got, I got one. Impressions, impressions! Uh, can you do one of Bill Clinton? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh... no. 
'''Female fan:''' Oh. 
'''Other guy:''' Um, Chris? Do you- 
(Everyone talks at once) 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) 
'''Other guy:''' I was wondering do you watch the Boondocks on Adult Swim? 
'''Black fan:''' Aw yeah that's my show! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I've watched the Boondocks. 
'''Other guy:''' Did you enjoy it? 
'''Chris:''' It's alright. 
'''Other guy:''' Can you do any imitations of the characters there, like Uncle Ruckus? 
'''Chris:''' (incoherent gibberish) -dem niggers over there! Sing along if you know the words to that song I just made up. 
'''Other guy:''' What was that? 
'''Guy:''' That was, wait, what? 
'''Chris:''' That was Uncle Ruckus. Well I'll tell ya what I sell propane and propane accessories all day long! (begins a high-pitched cackling and squeals more gibberish)... That was- 
'''Other fan:''' Could you do Meowth from Pokemon? 
'''Chris:''' Meowth! 
'''Fan:''' The talking Meowth. 
'''Chris:''' Meowth! ... (cackles again) Aye Jessie, James, we gotta go snag that Pikachu again! 
'''British guy:''' Do you know how to do the Team Rocket song? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, the Team Rocket song er, do you mean the motto? 
'''British guy:''' Myes the motto, the classic one. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hmmmm... Prepare for trouble make it double, to protect the world from devastation, to uni- to unite all people- o- (sigh)... 
'''Guy:''' ...in our nation! 
'''Chris:''' Mm. Anyway... (sigh) Hang on I'm a little mixed up here. Prepare for trouble make it double, to protect the world from devastation, to unite all people within our nation, to debi- to debide(sic) the evils of truth and love, to extend our reach to the stars above. Team Rocket blast off to the speed of light, surrender now or prepare to fight. 
'''Guy:''' ... Meowth, that's right. 
'''Other guy:''' That's right! 
(chuckling) 
'''Fan:''' Now hand over the Pikachu! 
'''Chris:''' No. (sigh) 
'''Fan:''' Oh come on- 
'''Accented woman:''' -than Sonichu, because Sonichu is obviously more powerful than Pikachu! 
'''Chris:''' I will not hand over the Sonichu, so there. (pause) Alucard, stop asking the questions please? 
'''Accented woman:''' Yes Alucard you are very annoying. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah someone kick him out. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. 
'''Guy:''' Good goin' Canine. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Canine:''' Anytime. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Actually I'm k- actually I'm kind of tired now uh... I'm gonna- I'm gonna head on down now but y'know I'll come back another night. 
'''Other guy:''' Okay. 
'''Accented woman:''' Well thanks for coming Chris, we really appreciate it. 
'''Clyde:''' No. I've got a few questions for you Chris, I've been waiting. 
'''Julie:''' Clyde no, no, no. 
'''Accented woman:''' How did he get in here? 
(Everyone yells over each other) 
'''Clyde:''' It's important! 
'''Guy:''' Ohh he leeeft! 
'''Clyde:''' No, no, shut up, shut up- 
'''Other guy:''' He's not coming back, give up. 
'''Clyde:''' Tell him it's important it's about Panda! 
'''Other fan:''' I'm digesting her right now. 
'''Clyde:''' That will get him back in, I know it. 
'''Guy:''' What's the important news? 

[End recording]

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 8|Mumble Chat 8]]|}}

==Links==
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBWklfakp0TGdDSkU Download]

==See also==

[[Christian's sex joke]] - Used during this chat.

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 7

2015-06-16T20:35:01Z

WhatAPsychopath: /* 10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies */

'''Mumble 7''' is the seventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 13 [[February 2009]].

Appears to be the genesis for the "Power" videos in which Chris attempts and fails to prove his [[I AM STRONG|strength]] and [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge For Clyde|skill]], though these would not materialize for several months.

==Summary==

* A fan talks to Chris about putting naked posters of girls and pictures of men up in his room up to find out if his friend was a [[homo]] as Chris suggested. He tells Chris that his girlfriend dumped him over the posters and his friend ignored all of them. Chris sees nothing wrong with his advice until Julie tells him that she wouldn't like that. Chris recommends sending an anonymous letter explaining the situation and utterly fails to apologize or show concern.
* Fans point out that Chris shouldn't have to show and prove that he is straight.
* Chris cuts a fan off to let Julie ask a question involving [[pedofork|shota]].
* Fans ask Chris to turn his radio down.
* Chris uses Wal-Mart printer paper & RSVP ballpoint pen to draw, and a 50-pack of Crayola markers to color. Refuses to use color pencils or Photoshop to color, saying he prefers the markers.
* Chris talks about Omicron's redone version of [[Sonichu]], accusing him of plagiarism. Says that the difference between what Omicron is doing and what he is doing is that Sonichu is his. Agrees to let Omicron continue if he credits Chris with the copyright.
* '''Julie is convincing Chris to make videos proving to Clyde how strong he is.''' Chris feels that the [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|dildo breaking video]] proved this. Fans say that Chris's dildo comes apart naturally for cleaning.
* '''A fan recommends making a video showing off his fighting moves to scare Clyde.'''
* Chris is asked why he would use a dildo in proving that he is straight. Chris says that he is straight for crushing it, fans call him a [[homo]] for keeping it.
* Chris [[lie|denies]] [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|using the dildo]], and claims that it's now broken. Fan says it could easily be reassembled. Chris is adamant that it was glued and that it took a lot of strength to pull it apart.
* When asked by Julie, '''Chris admits using super-shears from Cutco to break the dildo glue, claiming to use a lot of strength in the process'''.
* Fans discuss [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]. Chris insists that it was drawn in protest of [[ED]]. He says it was anonymous, as most women have long brown hair and her eyes were censored.
* Insists that [[:File:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|the Rule 34 of Angelica Rosechu]] is masturbating and enjoying it, and is using her hand to do it.
* Chris thinks Billy Mays is on Home Improvement.
* Chris isn't doing anything on Valentine's Day, as Julie is not there yet.
* Chris discusses the the No-Redheads policy in his [[Love Quest]]. Says that redheads don't attract him unless they are not natural redheads. No piercings or tattoos allowed.
* Chris is OK with blue hair.
* Does a terrible Marge Simpson impersonation.
* Chris impersonates Comic Book Guy and Donald Duck.
* A fan presents the possibility that AIDS was sent by God to kill the [[homos]].
* [[Chris and Religion|Premarital sex being forbidden in Christianity]] is discussed. Chris fumbles for an explanation.
* '''A fan pretending to be black says he believes the government made AIDS to get rid of black people. Chris says that that's the kind of thing a black guy would say'''.
* Premarital sex comes up again. Chris compares it to using porn to practice and learn skills for later.
* The fake black fan calls Chris on his comment from earlier about black guys and AIDS. He makes the excuse that someone else said it first.
* Questions on Sonichu start. Sonichu doesn't wear clothes because it's a comic. Chris isn't sure how [[Blake]] sounds. He might sound black, he might sound like Shadow the Hedgehog. The fake black fan asks why the bad guy has to be black, also mentioning [[Silvana]]. Chris says that he doesn't have to be.
* Chris gets annoyed about the pronunciation of [[Rosechu]] as popularized by the Old Narrator of the [[Audiobooks]].
* '''Chris doesn't disagree that the Audiobooks made Sonichu more popular that he ever did'''.
* He doesn't mind fanfics that don't portray Sonichu in a bad light.
* The audio goes low in the main chat and a fan has a private, unrelated conversation for a few minutes.
* Audio comes back as Chris is admitting that the [[B-Manajerk]] was black in real life.
* Chris doesn't watch the news, so doesn't have an opinion on [[Barack Obama|Obama]]. He voted for him because he saw a documentary where he saw more of himself in Obama, namely that he was an outcast at one point.
* A fan says that you should vote based on politics, not personality. Chris says that he is a moderate.
* Chris doesn't know what the financial bailout is. He says that he drew the [[Sonichu 8#The Elevator Gags|racist picture]] of Obama based on his father's joke, before he saw the documentaries that made him vote.
* Chris will not agree or disagree with interracial dating/marriage. He would want a white woman, but he would be [[gal pals|friends]] with others.
* He'd marry an Asian.
* It's not yet known if Silvana will be a good guy or if she will lose her [[pickle|dick]].
* '''Chris doesn't know what he wanted to be when he was younger, he's just making it up as he goes along'''.
* '''Chris is keeping the name changes in the comics for legal reasons'''.
* A fan suggests Slaweel cursing Rosechu to have a dick. Chris gets upset before saying that he'll think about it. The fans think it's a great idea. One considers a talking penis for Rosechu. Chris says it's a stupid idea.
* Another fan asks about Chris being sacked from Wendy's. He denies scaring the child with his Donald Duck impersonation, saying that he didn't make him cry.
* Chris might release his DVD one day.
* A fan says that Chris has influenced underground rappers such as Immortal Technique, who has sampled him.
* Chris takes requests. Impersonates MC Hammer, Dr Nick Riviera, Peter from [[Family Guy]], Mario and Sonic, butchering them all and tainting our childhood memories.
* More Sonichu questions. '''Chris won't upload [[Zapina]] [[Rule 34]] because she is underage and Chris is worried about legal ramifications'''. When he is reassured that this would be legal, he says he would consider it. He will also consider Sonichu-Rosechu anal sex. Rosechu would not clean the [[pickle]] with her mouth, she would clean it off with a washcloth. He would not sell the the washcloth on EBay.
* Chris calls a stop to the potty humor displayed throughout the Sonichu questions.
* '''Chris denies that [[Yawning Squirtle]] is a character'''.
* Fans ask for a joke. He recites a dreadful rhyme about Videogame consoles. He then tells his awful [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]]. Fans start to tell racist jokes about [[niggos|black people]] and Mexicans. Chris calls for a stop to this.
* A fan says that his friend [[mass debating|masturbated]] to the [[rule 34|adult section of Sonichu]] and is now worried that his friend is a [[homo]], as they were drawn by a man. '''Chris says that this is what he intended it for''', and they are drawings of women, so his friend is straight. He doesn't masturbate to his own drawings.
* Chris reassures a fan that [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] in the same room as another man isn't gay as long as both men are thinking of women, but he would not do this.
* Chris offers no comment as to what constitutes adultery.
* Chris says that he is patriotic. Asked to sing the national anthem, he instead mangles a few lines of "My Country, 'Tis of Thee". He then tells a 'patriotic' joke that is insensitive to Mexicans. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|The fans call him on his "no more racist jokes" statement from earlier]].
* Chris does a poor impersonation of Mr T.
* Chris says that if you are married, sleeping with someone else isn't cheating if you have consent from your spouse.
* Chris gives more advice on homos and recommends Axe body spray for attracting girls.
* Chris has not met any celebrities, only local DJs.
* Does impersonations of Homer Simpson and Bender. The two sound identical.
* Chris gives dating advice: Stay calm, polite, friendly and don't let your nerves get the best of you. Say "Hello, how are you" and talk about yourself. '''[[Barbara|His mom]] told him that standing around with a sign makes him look retarded. A female fan cracks up laughing and can't stop'''.
* "Those who can't, teach"
* Chris says he has never even been on a date. Rejects dating suggestions from fans.
* '''Chris was close with Sarah "[[PandaHalo]]" McKenzie, but hasn't heard from her in over two weeks. He heard about the fires and doesn't know if she's still alive. When a fan adds that 108 people were killed in the fires, Chris responds to the entire ordeal with [[Chris and death|"It's OK though, at least I have a good woman who's willing to be by my side at this point"]]'''.
* When pushed, he says he feels remorse for the the victims of the fires and is concerned that [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda]] is dead.
* He asserts that he didn't abandon Sarah for [[Julie]].
* '''A fan says that if [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] isn't alive, Chris should take solace that her perfectly barbecued remains fed the survivors. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|SHUT UP!!!]]'''
* Chris says that he cares about Sarah and Julie equally and wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. A fan asks what he will do to the survivors who ate Sarah. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|"SHUT UP!!!"]] and demands that he be booted.
* Fans reassure Chris that Sarah is probably OK.
* Chris does abominable impersonations of Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks and Hank Hill. '''He sings "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There"'''. He also impersonates Meowth and sings the Team Rocket song.
* [[Clyde]] enters. Chris refuses to answer questions and leaves.

==Transcript==
===Chris proves he is straight===
'''Guy:''' Chris! 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all! ''[echoes]'' 
'''Guy:''' I'll be damned. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all. 
'''Fan:''' Uh, Chris-[gets cut off by another guy] 
'''Chris:''' Uh you know, can't com- it's uh, can't complain. 
'''Other Guy:''' How's construction of the site? 
'''Fan:''' [unintelligible] so Chris 
'''Chris:''' Yeah? 
'''Fan:''' Well I...I need to ask you something. 
'''Chris:''' Yup? 
'''Fan:''' Uh... I put those posters, of the... Playboy and everything in my room, and uh, one of my girlfriends saw it, and she got mad at me for looking at other w-... other girls, and she broke up with me. 
'''Chris:''' Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. It could- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, she's calling me a pervert. I-I don't understand this. 
'''Chris:''' Did you... did you ex- did you try to explain to her about situation between you and that guy? 
'''Fan:''' I... I did, and I don't think she understood. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... well, you should try, you should, uh, s-... try, uh, you should try wr-, you should tr-, uh, do you know her email address? 
[pause] 
'''Julie:''' So, uh Chris- 
'''Fan:''' A-also, wait... also, uh, the friend, I was talking about, he, uh, visited, and [typing noises] he, uh, he went into my room, and didn't even notice the posters. He just s-sat in the middle, he didn't s...sit in any uh, part of the room. 
'''Chris:''' Huh. Hmm. 
'''Fan:''' So, uh... so, yeah, I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend broke up with me, called me a pervert, said that I shouldn't be looking at other girls, I mean... I don't know what to do now. 
'''Chris:''' Well listen, uh, answer my question, do you have her email address? 
'''Fan:''' Umm... yeah, but she won't... she won't answer me anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Hm... ok, hmm. Here's what you can do, uh... Do you know your girlfriend's... any of your girlfriend's [[Gal pal|gal-pals]]? 
'''Fan:''' No. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm... well, you should try to... like wr- you should write out... hmm... hmm... here's an idea. S- Write a letter to her and send it via smail mai-, via snail mail, but don't write the return address. On it. 
'''Fan:''' What should I write? 
'''Chris:''' Just like, you know, like, they, you know, this is... you know, this is... you, uh, you put your name there, and you, it's, and then you would basically explain the situation between you and that guy, and that's why you had the posters up, well that's why you put the posters up. 
'''Fan:''' Well I- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible interruption] 
'''Fan:''' I don't really understand what was the point of the posters in the first place? 
'''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' it's... ''[sigh]'' if he looks at... if he, if he is very interested, if he is, if he was straight, he would uh, look at the women. Very much. 
'''Fan:''' But he didn't even notice them. He didn't notice any of the posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, then I guess he is a [[Homos|homo]]. 
'''Fan:''' W...well, um, he wasn't looking at anything, not even the guy posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Hmm... He's not blind, surely. 
'''Fan:''' So, like, what is he, is he like, uh...I don't know. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either, man. But, you know at the moment I would suggest you, uh, write the- write the letter to your girlfriend, send the mail, don't write your return address on the envelope, and, uh, mail it to her. 
'''Fan:''' Also my mom saw the posters and she got offended, she's like really religious and st- she said that like, uh, you know, lust is a sin or some shit. Oh, like she said, she's like all against the, the uhh, the like, Playboy in my room. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, your- apparently your mom hasn't been [beeps] that open minded that time. So, you know, give her time to reh-cover, she'll uh, she might op- she might open up. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I don't think that was a good idea though, I mean, w-why did- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible interruption] 
'''Fan:''' -you suggest it? 
'''Chris:''' I was trying to see if he, to, I was trying to s-help you figure out if your uh, if your friend was a homo or not. 
'''Fan:''' I know, but, do you have uh, [Fans talking] Playboy posters in your room? 
'''Other Guy:''' [unclear] I'm very forward. 
'''Chris:''' I have uh, poster of some, of uh, I have a poster in my room of uh, some uh, naked girls I got from adamandeve.com as a bonus. 
'''Fan:''' Then, nobody says anything about it? 
'''Chris:''' ''[clears throat]'' Well, I didn't really have too many oppor- too many people in my room. So, it's kind of like in a hard to notice place. 
'''Fan:''' Um, wondering, um, If you showed anyone, wouldn't they be offended? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe, maybe not, [Fan grunts] it just depends on their point of view. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I wouldn't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I hear you there. Uh, just to so just sound clear... Julie? 
'''Julie:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Julie, are you there? 
'''Julie:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Ok, uh, would you be offended if you saw such a poster in my room? 
'''Julie:''' ''[breaks up]'' 
'''Chris:''' Uh, What will, what was that? [Echoes] 
'''Julie''' Yes I would, kind of. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well that's no problem, I can take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, see that's what I'm talking about, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' Well, that's why I asked Julie right now, because I respect her. So, because she said that she would, I will take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I've been thinking, um... 
'''Julie:''' Do you have... [unclear] Chris, I don't think you should look at other woman.[sic] In my opinion. 
'''Chris:''' I see, Julie. Well that's fine. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I...I respect that. 
'''Fan:''' She might get jealous, I mean, that's what happened to my...my girlfriend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that's fine Julie, I respect your, I respect that. Just- 
'''Julie:''' Hey, can I ask you a question? If uh, he's done? 
'''Chris:''' Uh- 
'''Fan:''' Oh, uh, one more thing, um, you know I've been thinking, uh, I don't really think you need, you know, posters and stuff like, 
'''Other Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Fan:''' to prove you're straight, I mean, if you're straight, that's all there is to it i-if, am I right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' I think you're right. 
'''Fan:''' I...I mean, you shouldn't have to prove that you're straight. 
'''Julie:''' You're right. 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I m-mean [line breaks temporarily] Y-you shouldn't have to reassure yours-self. You should just be knowing it, and nothing anybody says, should get very, uh... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it's ve-ah-very-but you see, I have like, I have that [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] in my room, it's just, so that like, you know, for in case I have any-for in case I have any random thoughts, on account really, to tempt me. 
''[unintelligible mix of chatter from most participants trying to get their word in]'' 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I mean, even if they're random thoughts, even if they're random thoughts, if you know you're ''positive'' about it, you shouldn't have to look at anything to make sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, usually. 
'''Guy:''' Okay. Uh, moving on from all this homosexuality, uh, I have one question, uh- [gets cut off by Chris in the background] ...never mind, [fat douchebag?] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, ah, let Julie ask a question, let Julie ask her question. 

===7:08 Julie asks about shotacon===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, I was watching you on the Internet yesterday and, what's a shotacon?[slightly cut off] 
'''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, uh-y, I'm sorry, you got cut off, what was that? 
'''Julie:''' What's a sho-[cuts off again]- 
'''Chris:''' ...What's a...''short''? 
'''Julie:''' Shot-[cuts off third time, pretty obvious she's saying ''shota'']- 
'''Fan:''' Dude, shota. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, shota. 
'''Chris:''' Ssshhhh...shota? 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, S-H-O-A-T-A [sic]. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, it's a word he found online. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, [baby?], yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I never heard of that word. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hmm. 
'''Chris:''' I dunno, if you want to look it up, you can probably find out on an online dictionary... 
''[pause, and a weary sigh from someone other than Chris]'' 
'''Chris:''' I'll-I'll take a look. Hang on. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I know some Japanese and I think I've heard that somewhere, like in a magazine or something. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, it's some of that Japanese shit. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Probably is. Three moments, I'll look it up. 
'''Julie:''' Okay! 
''[pause, Chris's radio is audible]'' 
'''Chris:''' ...Whoops, that was the wrong one. The wrong bookmark. 
'''Fan:''' S-H-O-T-A. 
'''Chris:''' I know, I just get the wrong bookmark for...place I wi-for like...dictionary-type website that I have. 
''[pause, Chris's keyboard taps are audible]'' 
'''Guy:''' Uhhh...Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, now that Julie's done with her question, I also had one. 
'''Fan:''' He has to find what that means first. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, ''I'm sorry''. 
'''Chris:''' Shit, ah shit, I've just found it on Wikipedia. It's, uh, it's a ma-it's a Japanese name. It's a name of a person. In Japan. 
'''Guy:''' Really. 
'''Chris:''' It's a Japanese name. I think it's- 
'''Fan:''' Oh no no, I think you're looking at the wrong thing, it's S- S-H-O-T-A-C-O-N. 
'''Chris:''' S-H- I mean- O-T-A-C-O-N? Shotacon? 
'''Fan:''' It's the same thing, just put C-O-N at the end. 
'''Guy:''' I've read it in a dictionary before, can't remember what it means... 
'''Chris:''' Oh, oh! Okay, here it is, uh..."shotacon, sometimes shortened to shota, is Japanese slang of the phrase 'Shotaro Complex'"...uh..."that describes the attraction to young boys or an individual with such an attraction". 
''[Disgusted reactions heard]'' 
'''Fan:''' Oh my god, what the fuck? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' There's lots of sick people. Y'all are gonna get ricked? 
'''Fan:''' Someone from 4 cent garbage came in and told us to look that up, I didn't-I didn't even want to. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' I guess he's a homo... 
'''Fan:''' Don't worry I banned him already. 
'''Girl:''' Um, Chris, Vivian wants to know if you can like, turn your radio down a bit, it's distracting. 
'''Guy:''' Yes, please turn it down. 
'''Chris:''' I thought that was quiet enough, here. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, no, the lady'll probably pick it up 
'''Girl:''' Alright cool. Merci. 

===10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies===

'''Another Fan:''' Okay, um, I have a question, um, I like to draw-[interrupted by mumbling]-I like to draw comics and such, I mean I want to start up a webcomic. What kind of materials do you use? 
'''Chris:''' Um, like, you mean for drawing? 
'''Another Fan:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Well mostly I just use like, uh, paper without lines, like, computer printer paper you can get in, like, Wal-Mart, for an inexpensive price in multiples. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay- 
'''Chris:''' And then I use like an RES—RSVP-brand pen with the black ink. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh okay, is it like, um, a gel pen or a ballpoint pen or- 
'''Chris:''' It's like a ballpoint, it's like a ballpoint pen. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Fan:''' What do you use to color? 
'''Chris:''' I use Crayola brand markers. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I would like to—I would—I would—I would recommend getting the Super Tip 50-pack which you can also find at the Wal-Mart. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. I-[interrupted by someone else on chat] 
'''Guy:''' That's basically- 
'''Another Fan:''' At Wal-Mart I usually get the 24-color RoseArts. Those are—those do pretty good too. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhh, Vivian, just so you—just so you know, I'm using the microphone that came with Hey You, Pikachu for Nintendo Sisty-Four [sic]. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, yeah no, no offense, but uh, personally I prefer like, colored pencils and shit cause-[Chris mumbling is heard]-they're like easier to erase. Photoshop [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' If you want to use colored pencils that's fine, I'm not, uh, saying that you have to use Crayola markers- 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' Why don't you use colored pencils? They're really good, you should try one on like, at least one page, just try one. One page with just colored pencils. 
'''Fan:''' But um, actually, you can—you can scan your drawings and then color—color them in like, Photoshop or something. [rest of chat murmurs in agreement] That looks really professional, and really good. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I prefer using the markers. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' It's just that I-I mean—I mean I've tried—I mean I've colored with colored pencils before, and I just feel best with using markers. 
'''Julie:''' I have a question, um, uh, the Hey You Pikachu microphone, how does that work on the, you're using that on your computer? Did you say? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's just, yeah, it's like you plug it into uh, into the basic microphone jack. 
'''Julie:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. 
'''Girl:''' Excuse me, I have a nice little Plantronics headset. 
'''Chris:''' Um- 
'''Another Fan:''' Hey Chris can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, hang on a second, uh... uh, Omicron, that's uh, you're basically, uh, you're basically plagiarizing here. You're even using, uh, parts of my original drawings to, uh, make up your so called real ones and, you're just—you're just parroting—you're just plagiarizing- 
'''Fan:''' That's dirty and illegal. 
[Unintelligible mumbling] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you said so yourself, you're being illegal. And plus, and plus I'm- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, isn't combining Sonic with Pikachu the same thing? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, but, but but also, look at this, also I'm looking at this site here, it said, he's claiming the copyright for himself, but he's, but he's not. I mean that's like, but he's, he—he says 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' You need to ban him immediately. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, ban him immediately. 
'''Guy:''' Oh wait wait wait wait wait... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah maybe you should check-[interrupted by loud noise, probably Chris] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well he said that, he's saying that all of Sonichu material is copyrighted by him, when it's clearly not. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah but you use Sonic and Pikachu, and you copyrighted it- 
'''Other Guy:''' He just offered to give you credit-[interrupted by noisy chatter] 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I put, I mean, yeah but, I mean, I'm talking about the—the Omnicron [sic] guy here, that's like, just put this link here. 
'''Fan:''' Oh he offered to give you credit- 
'''Julie:''' Yes that's the same thing you did. 
'''Chris:''' Well no no, he, no- 
'''Fan:''' We decided- 
'''Chris:''' No he's plagiarizing MY Sonichu. 
'''Fan:''' We just decided [unintelligible] 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Julie:''' Chris it's, it's a parody, kinda like Sonichu is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but he—yeah, but he's saying, he said—he—on his front page he says, all Sonichu material- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah but he's, he just offered to change it, so are you okay with that? 
'''Chris:''' By changing it to Sonichu X- 
'''Fan:''' No, he said he'll give you credit instead of claiming it for himself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah I would appreciate that, that would be better, yeah, if... he changed that. 
'''Fan:''' Alright cool. 
'''Guy:''' Problem solved. 

===15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes Julie. 
'''Julie:''' Do you think you could tell everyone about my idea? And, since you're going to do it do you think you could tell everyone so they could look out for it? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, your idea... um, oh oh oh, yeah, just basically a video of me standing up to Clyde and showing him how strong I am, doin' a few kicks for the camera or something- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you should throw some punches, show him what you're made of, you know? 
'''Fan:''' Kick, punch, it's all in the mind ''etc.'' 
'''Chris:''' I basically... I pretty much did that when I... 
'''Guy:''' Let him talk, c'mon! 
'''Chris:''' I pretty much did - already proved my strength when I... ripped that... ''dildo'' in half. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Foreign-Sounding Guy:''' Most dildos come apart for cleaning. 
'''Guy:''' C'mon. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but that thing was screwed together at the seam. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Guy:''' Ok listen to me... 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris... 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' Eh Chris! 
'''Julie:''' ...could you do a like further test of your strength for me? 
'''Chris:''' ''stress sigh'' Yeah... 
'''Julie:''' I wanna see how strong you are please. 
'''Chris:''' ...That's fine, I can do that. 
'''Other Fan:''' I mean that's ok, you showed your strength, but you should show her your moves. Like show her, like, what kind of moves you can do. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, let me tell you a story about how this'll work, ok. 
'''Fan:''' See, my, uh, one of my cousins, uh, this guy at school, kept, y'know, picking on him, calling him gay and stuff, and trying to fight with him, and my cousin told him to sss- y'know, one day, the guy said "Hey man, I'm gonna beat you up" and my cousin said "Look, if I show you some of my moves, I'll prove to you I can kick your ass in a fight" and so my cousin, y'know, he stepped back and, he took, uh, he took Taekwondo, and he did a couple moves, y'know? He just stood there for like five minutes just doing his moves, and, y'know, some punches and kicks and... The guy just backed right off; he didn't even want to talk to him any more. So I think that should work. 
'''Chris:''' All right, well I'll try that. I'll try that. 
'''Guy:''' All right. Sounds good. 
'''Fan:''' Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah.<br?>
'''Fan:''' You try- you always mention about how you're straight but yet in your video about you crushing a dildo, uh, doesn't that kinda like, y'know, not help your cause? 
'''Chris:''' No, it proves I'm straight because... 
'''Fan:''' But you have a dildo. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' I got it free with an order on adameve.com 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' But you ''kept'' it and shit. That ain't cool. 
'''Fan:''' What I don't... Why were there batteries in...? 
'''Julie:''' Oh yeah Chris, why ''were'' there batteries in it? Why did you keep it? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' I mean it wasn't an easy thing for me to sell, right off the bat, or even to make a profit, so... 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' In fact in a way it's a good thing I kept it, cause it allowed me to be able to break it, like I did. 
'''Julie:''' Yes but why would you keep it? 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Julie:''' Why would you keep it? 
'''Chris:''' I woulda saved it for my sweetheart, if she'd wanted it. To use it. 
'''Fan:''' Aaaahhh. 
'''Julie:''' But if I were there wouldn't you prefer the real deal? 
'''Fan:''' Some things that metal just can't replace. 
'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' I heard that. 
'''Fan:''' You didn't use it did you? 
'''Chris:''' No I did not. 
'''Fan:''' Did you just throw all the ones you had away? 
'''Chris:''' I only had that one. And there you go, I ri- there you go, I broke it apart. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you just, like, ''take'' it apart, I mean, it did... 
'''Chris:''' No... 
'''Fan:''' ...seem to come apart, like, screwed on... 
'''Chris:''' No, no I did not take it apart, that thing was glued at the seam. I had to put a lot of strength into breaking it at the middle there. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, but I think, um, showing your moves would be better. 
'''Chris:''' Right. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Clyde would mess with you if you show him you can kick his ass. 
'''Fan:''' Hey, Chris's a muthafuckin' ''gangsta''! 
'''Fan:''' Blap blap. 
'''Fan:''' Yes, Chris will fuck Clyde's shit up. 
(awkward pause) 
'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris, didn't you say you used a - didn't you say you used scissors to break the dildo? 
'''Chris:''' Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I pretty much did have to so I could break that ''glued seam''. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, I thought you broke it with your hands. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well I- yeah well I would have but it was dang glued at the seam, so I clipped straight in with the scissors I had. 
'''Chris:''' It's a pair of Super Shears from [[Cutco]]. 
'''Fan:''' ''(feigning interest)'' Huh. 

===19:50 Chris defends his Rule 34===

'''Fan:''' Yeah, let's talk about something else. Uh, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Whenever the announcement of the adult Sonichu page, when I looked at your gallery, very nice stuff, you know, I see a picture of what looks like you with a Sonichu, uh, medallion. Like, and, who's that one girl, exactly? 
'''Fan:''' Who, [[Megan]]? 
'''Julie:''' I thought it was, like, [[Crystal]], cause of the hair? 
'''Chris:''' No, no, it was - it was originally drawn to be Megan but I censored her eyes to, uh, port- to protect her identity. 
'''Fan:''' Mmmmmm. 
'''Julie:''' ''(laughing)'' That's stupid! (?) That's so silly. 
'''Chris:''' I drew that after I found the ED page in November. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you say that? 
'''Chris:''' In protest against it. 
'''Fan:''' I thought you were going to get rid of it anyway. 
'''Chris:''' I tore up the original drawing, I, in- into squares, and I put in in an envelope. 
'''Fan:''' Why did you upload it? 
'''Fan:''' Why did you do that shit? Like, and... 
'''Fan:''' I understand Rosechu, but, like y'know, why, like, something that's from real life. That's the problem (?) 
'''Chris:''' It's not necessarily from real life, it depends on you inter- it depends on your interpretation, I mean it's hardly- I mean, '''most women have long brown hair, and the eyes are censored''', so... 
(laughter) 
'''Fan:''' ''Most'' women?!? 
'''Fan:''' I remember in that one video you were saying it was Megan. 
'''Chris:''' Because it broke, because it end up, because it the end it broke up my friend - broke up my friendship eve, my uh, friendship with Megan. 
'''Julie:''' Um, can I ask you a question? In the third picture, with [[Angelica Rosechu]], what is... what's happening, is... God... doing...? 
'''Chris:''' Nope. She's masturbating. And she's enjoying it. 
'''Julie:''' But she has no hands there. How's she doing it? 
'''Fan:''' She's ''enjoying'' it. 
'''Chris:''' But she does... She does... 
'''Julie:''' Yeah but how's she doing it? She doesn't have her hands there. 
'''Chris:''' She does have her hands, she's... ''(stress sigh)'' She's... like most women would be able to do the same thing. 
'''Fan:''' I thing it's the angle, Julie. I think it's the angle you were looking at it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah plus uh, the picture wasn't, uh, very - wasn't as clear as, like, you know, I would have liked to have had it, uh, I mean, I had that file for a while, and it... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah some of those are kinda blurry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, some deg- some degraded. 
'''Julie:''' ? a good question, have you drawn anything... of... have you drawn anything like that with me? Cause I would actually like to see, if you did. If so, could you, and let me see? I, uh, sorry, that's very rude to ask. 
'''Chris:''' Um, I'm sorry, let me answer this guy. Yeah, well, I made a retraction video later saying that I- I disowned that address. 
'''Fan:''' Ah, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Just after that guy hacked into it and changed to it to suck. And as such. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm gonna take a look at that... My Youtube... 
'''Fan:''' I like this song. 
'''Chris:''' What song? 
'''Fan:''' The song that's playing in the background of, uh. 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, what do you think of, uh, what do you think of that guy who advertises products, Billy Mays? What do you think of him? 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... Billy... Oh! Yeah he's an ok guy, I watched him on Home Improvement. 
'''Fan:''' Billy Mays? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... 
'''Fan:''' No, that was another guy on Home Improvement, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' No that was the same guy. That was the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Really?!? Let's look up. IMDB, go. ''(sound of typing)'' 
'''Chris:''' Believe me, it's the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, I really enjoyed your, um, adult, uh, section of the site. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... okey dokey, very good. Aaahh, trying to figure out how to update the link on this thing here. Oh, maybe under here. Oh there it is, thank God (?), update right now. 
'''Fan:''' ''(singing)'' You spin me right round baby, right round... 
'''Other fan:''' (joining in) Like a record baby, right round round round 
'''Fan:''' It's a classic, I can't help in man. 
'''Chris:''' There you are, updated. It's finally fixed. 
'''Guy:''' Actually that was Richard Karn on Home Improvement, not Billy Mays. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well my mistake, I mean the guy had the beard and uhh... 
'''Guy:''' Oh yeah I can understand. 
'''Chris:''' And the voice sounds- and the voice sounds the same... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. They sound the same. 
'''Guy:''' I guess. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' There's a matter of interpretation apparently I misinterpreted so I will admit that I was wrong. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah see we all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' (unintelligible babble or singing) 
'''Fan:''' Have you gotten any fan art submissions or notable? For the uh- webpage? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I got one today... It's like mostly a drawing of that uh that uh- of the fan herself. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' -got in the snail mail today. 
'''Guy:''' -Sunday. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Hmmmm... 
'''Guy:''' What are you doing for this Valentine's day Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhm... I'm sorry, what was that question? 
'''Guy:''' What will you be doing this year on Valentine's day? 
'''Chris:''' Hm depends... 
'''Guy:''' Ahhh, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. 
Fan: Surely a man of such magnitude as yourself are going to be doing something important, aren't you? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Guy:''' Magnitude? Way to choose the words buddy. 
'''Other guy:''' Vocabulary talent. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, cause I don't have Julie over here yet. 
(Reactions of OHs and AHs) 
'''Chris:''' If she was here... 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) -play games. 
'''Chris:''' Or we could just uh... talk. 
'''Woman:''' Ehehehehe. Maybe... uh... why no redheads? 
'''Other Woman:''' Yeah? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I was trying to think about that when the other guy asked that question. Uh... I was trying to think up that unh... mmmm... Uhhhh, redheads just don't be very- tract me so much. 
Several: Uh, ah. 
'''Chris:''' It's- it's- a- pi- a possibility that they're dyed. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmmmmm... 
'''Chris:''' But yeah y'know natural redheads enh, yeah, just don't really turn me on as much. 
'''Woman:''' I see... 
'''Fan:''' Have you thought about girls with um, highlights? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... (pause) aaahhhh... what turns me on hhh- (inhales) (pause) obviously the women. 
'''Man:''' Gotta have the women. (?) 
'''Guy''': What about piercings or tattoo? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, neither of those. 
(Pause) 
'''Chris:''' Ehhhh- 
'''Guy:''' Hey (unintelligible) 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris! How bout like non-orange hair, not like... no, never mind. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... oh... okay... hmmm... 
'''Julie:''' Wait Chris! How do you feel about blue hair? 
'''Chris:''' Blue hair's okay, otherwise I wouldna- Otherwise I wouldn't've liked Sailor Mercury. 
'''British? guy:''' That is true, she does have blue hair. 
'''Guy:''' She's a very fine character. There is no way to deny it. 
'''Black guy:''' Blue hair is OFF DA HOOK!!! 

===28:35 Chris impersonates various cartoon characters===

'''British??? guy:''' Doesn't Marge Simpson have blue hair as well? 
'''Chris:''' (in some kind of insane voice) Oh yeah! Marge Simpson has blue hair and it's as tall as the Empire State building!!! 
(Some HMMs UHs and UMs follow) 
'''Julie:''' Yo Chris!! Can you do some impersonations for us? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Oh we'd love to hear that! 
'''Chris:''' I just did Marge Simpson. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah you're really talented. 
'''British??? Guy:''' Yeah. 
(Several people talking at once) 
'''Julie:''' -they're really good. 
'''Guy:''' Do another SimpsonsChris, how about Comic Book Guy? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Mmmmhmmm... 
'''Chris:''' Oh I'm very indeed. Oh aren't we all promiscuous and whatnot. I like Batman and Robin, oh look! Stan Marsh has come into the thing again - I forget that guy's name, that guy who did the Marvel comics. 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Julie:''' Stan Lee. (Pause) Chris do your Donald Duck impression. 
'''Chris:''' Everybody have fun (incoherent and scary quacking) 
'''Several:''' (laughter) 
'''Guy:''' Chris you should work for Disney. 
'''Fan:''' That's good Chris. 
'''Guy:''' Have you ever considered being a voice actor? 
'''Chris:''' Errrrrp... possibly, I'm not sure. 
'''Fan:''' (incoherent, cut off by Chris) 
'''Chris:''' (incoherent... another cartoon voice) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris, you're a Christian, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Guy:''' I was just wondering- 
'''Chris:''' Ahm actu- 
'''Guy:''' -do you just- 
'''Chris:''' I'm actually a Methodist church. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome, I was just wondering: Do you think AIDS was sent by god to kill the homos or do you think that it's just an accident or something man-made? 
'''Chris:''' The thou- the thought never occurred to me... thought never occurred to me. 
'''Other guy:''' can you do an impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger? 
'''Guy:''' Hold- the question... 
'''Fan:''' Let Chris answer the question. 
'''Chris:''' The thought- the thought never occurred to me about what you just said about the AIDS there mmmm... but y'know, it's a possibility and I will not agree nor disagree with it. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I was just wondering I mean, I've had that discussion with some of my Christian friends. I just wanted to get your opinion, thank you. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Mmhhh... 
'''Julie:''' I think (clears throat) I think Omicron has a point and you did tell me you went to a methodist church didn't you? So that's- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well th- well my Methodist church is uh more loose on- is not as strict on uh- on uh sex. 
'''Julie:''' Chris I don't know- I don't know that much about religion in the States but I don't think there is a looser Meth- Methodist church. God makes the rules Omicron says. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, hmmm... 
'''Guy:''' Well, you know personally I think that the government made AIDS to kill off all the brothers. 
'''Fan:''' Whoa, whoa... That's what the blacks always say. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. (pause) I'm going to agree, that sounds like something that uh... well, a black guy would say. 
'''Guy:''' So your church is kinda of uh- they let you do- their kinda loose on the whole moral restrictions? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... (pause) uhhh... that's... what's the question? 
'''Guy:''' Your church they- you said they're kind of more uh- y'know they're less strict on the whole moral thing, like, as far as sexuality goes? Right? 
'''Chris:''' -ah basically. 
'''Guy:''' But y'know, uhh, I thought you're supposed to listen to the Bible or whatever not, y'know, not necessarily- no, never mind. 
(Pause) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris- 
'''Other guy:''' (interrupts) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, there's also a uh, there's also a- think about this uh, if you uh- if you- if you were a think uh- you have to find for yourself a good meaning behind uh- good meaning behind watching pornography to uh- like teach how it- how to do this and that when you actually get around to doing it... 
'''Guy:''' That's all ??? 
'''Chris:''' That's all's considered education for yourself. 
'''Guy:''' How is that realistic at all? 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, it's uh- not a really good thing to learn from, trust me. 
'''Chris:''' It can be done before marriage as well as long as me and my sweetheart really love each other very much. 
'''Fan:''' But not in Christianity. 
'''Guy:''' But all I'm saying is y'know, porn is completely, completely unre- unrealistic I mean you can't really learn anything from it. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' It gives- it gives you enough ideas. 
'''Julie:''' (unclear) 
'''Other guy:''' (incoherent) porn. 
'''Guy:''' When you actually have sex, it's nothing like porn. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Maybe not like you, you not gonna do it- 
'''Accented woman:''' You can't do it immediately- immediately anal sex cause most women are not very happy with anal sex and also... 
'''Guy:''' Okay, shut up 
'''Accented woman:''' -and also weird- 
'''Guy:''' Shut up. 
'''Accented woman:''' Yes. 
'''Guy:''' And... that wasn't cool, like... 
'''Fan:''' That was uncalled for... 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, like, suthin' a BLACK MAN would say... 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Other guy:''' That's racist man... 
'''Chris:''' Well, somebody said it on here first before I did. 
'''Guy:''' Does that make it ok? 
'''Julie:''' Chris, I think he's trying to make it clear that- I dunno. 
'''Chris:''' I typically agree with that guy. 
(pause) 
'''Julie:''' So nothing g- it doesn't make it ok. 
(incoherent)
'''Chris:''' (babbling) I wi- I'm sorry, I take it back. 
(pause) 
(unclear) 
'''Guy:''' Guys can we get back to Sonichu, Please? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah this is getting ridiculous. 
'''Guy:''' (unclear) -Sonichu actually. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Anyway, my question is that: why does Sonichu not wear clothes while Rosechu and the other Rosechus do wear clothes? And underwear? 
'''Chris:''' Aaaaaaaaaamp... It's like uh- it's basically a cartoon and it doesn't really matter, it's like... mm... think about this: Most cartoon characters wear at least one article of clothing. At least one article. And uh- it's like Yogi Bear who just wears a necktie and a hat. 

'''(From 35.14)''' 

'''Other Guy:''' I think it would be cool if all the Sonichus and Rosechus got together and they and- they all formed a big team and they had special uniforms or something, kinda like the X-men. 
'''Fan:''' Or Power Rangers. 
'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, I don't do- I don't do well- I'm not in- no uniforms. It's a uniform and other Sonichus and Rosechus. 
'''Guy:''' I'm just wondering if you'd do another impression: What does Blachu sound like? Uh, Black Sonichu? Or Blake? 
'''Chris:''' Eeeeuuunh... Eh... ahhhh... 
'''British guy:''' Can you imitate it? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... I'm not sure... uhhhhm... 
'''Guy:''' Like does he sound black? 
'''Chris:''' Possibly, but I'm not certain. I'm not leaning towards it. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I'd like to hear it, but if you don't want... 
'''Chris:''' I just never- I just never really thought about that. I'd say that he possibly sounds similar to uh, y'know Shadow the hedgehog. But he could possibly sound, black. He could. Don't quote me on it. 
'''Guy:''' All right, I was just wondering if you'd do his voice but... 
'''Black guy:''' Hey why does the BAD guy gotta be black? 
'''Chris:''' I never said the bad guy "has to" be black. (pause) I mean, look at the- the range of villanies, I mean there's black and whites and uh... male females. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I noticed that uh- Silvana's also... black lookin'. 
'''Chris:''' I just decided to color her black because she was born- she came from outer space from a black egg, which was the- which came out of the rainbow. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah, I was also wonderin' about that like- 
'''Chris:''' I- I- I- 
'''Black guy:''' If Silvana came out of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yes it's- 
'''Black guy:''' Why would she be black? 
'''Chris:''' (babbling) 
'''Black guy:''' I mean like black ain't part of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' It's like the black sheep of the family. Y'know you put all the colors together and it does become black. 
(unintelligible reactions) 
'''Guy:''' -like a brownish- 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) is a (unintelligible) color. 
'''Fan:''' Maybe it's because she's from space and there's not a lot of light in space and it's dark or something. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah that- a uh yeah- that's one of the- 
'''Other guy:''' Hmmm. 
'''Woman:''' Uhm, did you look at the link of my friend? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, ummmm... 
'''Woman:''' Yeah, since you love blue hair. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Uh- no I haven't looked at it and I don't wanna make Julie feel jealous if I did- if I went and did. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Julie would mind. 
'''Woman:''' Uhhh... 
'''Fan:''' You look at pornography don't you? 
'''Woman:''' (mumble) 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' No, that- that was two syllables "Rose-chu". You don't- don't add- don't say the "e" it's just "Rosechu". 
'''Fan:''' Yeah you went over this last chat. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:'''(I don't know, it sounds like "narrator") 
'''Other guy:''' Uh. 
'''Chris:''' (sounds like he says "narrator" again) 
'''Other guy:''' Uh... I was just- 
'''Chris:''' No, well, obviously the uh- the narrator who did those audio books was incorrect. Specially since I never gave that person the approval to do the audiobooks. 
'''Fan:''' I think it's just a fan project and I think he- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Fan:''' and I think he might have one of the West coast dialects. I know that the South they say y'all but over here- 
'''Chris:''' Well obviously he lied- 
'''Fan:''' -different. I'd be proud if they made one of my projects into an audiobook though. That means that there are a lot of fans out there that really like it. 
'''Other guy:''' Ay. 
'''Fan:''' They're not selling to try and make any money off it. They're not trying to rip you off. They always made sure- they always narrate the first page by saying "Christian Weston Chandler" so they're not trying to cheat you or anything. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' The people know you're making it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I- I hear that. I just, apparently they misin- misinterpreted the (audio breaks up) name Rosechu. Or mispronounced it. Misinterpreted, mispronounce- fairly the same thing in that situation... possibly. To answer that question... possibly. 
'''Guy:''' Uh, Vivian said that the audiobooks made Sonichu way popular that- than you could ever ever do on your own. 
'''Chris:''' Well, I will not disagree with the statement. And I appreciate her help. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. Would you be offended if a fan wrote a fanfiction about Sonichu? 
'''Chris:''' Faaanfiction... if it's- if it's not demeaning or makes them look stupid. Then it's fine- it's fine. (pause) Like I did mind when, shoot, what's his name? That guy... uhhhh... that guy that the uhhhh... did the animations, on his computer. 
'''British guy:''' You did mind or you didn't? 
'''Guy:''' Animations??? 
'''Fan:''' I think I know what he's talking about. Are you talking about the um... 

(background noise begins) 
''Background voice:'' Well the original play was a Greek play. Where they're all y'know... Greeks... and crazy stuff happens and they're all runnin' around in togas. So if you ever wanna see the movie "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" it was a classic and it had some real classic people from the 50s and 60s in it. Kinda like "It's a MAD MAD MAD MAD World". Sort of a classic old school movie from funny old school world. First color movie type thing. But that'll be a high school play. You'll wanna see that. You might actually enjoy it. (unintelligible) 
(inaudible response) 
''Background voice:'' You never know that might be fun to do. Well I guess that wouldn't work on the weekend then... you gotta... 

'''(FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, IT APPEARS THAT THERE WAS SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEM THAT CAUSED ANOTHER MUMBLE CHANNEL TO BE RECORDED WHILE THE CONVERSATION WITH CHRIS BECAME BARELY AUDIBLE BACKGROUND NOISE. INSTEAD ALL THAT CAN BE HEARD IS SOME BUTTFACE YAMMERING ABOUT FILMS AND TELEVISION SHOWS. I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP TRANSCRIBING IT. CHRIS IS STILL TALKING AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS, BUT NOTHING CAN BE UNDERSTOOD OVER THESE GUYS.)''' 

'''(AT 42.56 THE AUDIO SUDDENLY RESUMES NORMALLY)''' 

'''Unknown person:''' Uh you- 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I uh- noticed he's another BLACK villain. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah in real life he was black. Without meaning any offense to the uh- black guy in general, cause you've noticed, among the Jerkops there's uh- we got black's and white's, males and females. 
(pause) 
(several people jump in at once) 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) -you've never drawn a female officer before. 
'''Chris:''' Well y'know uhhh... uhhh, comic book number 7, near the end. Near the end of the time travel episode. Uhh, I have no opinion about what Obama's doing cause I don't watch the news. 
Accented woman: But you voted for him, didn't you? 
'''Chris:''' Yes I voted for him because I saw myself in him when I com- when I saw both the documentaries and downloaded them for the Playstation Network between Obama and McCain. I mean voted for a person I saw more of myself of- 
Accented woman: You usually vote for someone based on their political leanings, not how you view them. As I were Republican, I voted for John McCain. Not because I liked him but because I- he had the same political views as me. 
'''Chris:''' Well, basi- basically I'm a moderate. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh, I see. Um, I was wondering. I was reading opinions: do you agree with his financial bailouts? 
'''Chris:''' Hm, I don't even know what it is. So I can't disagree or agree. 
'''Other guy:''' Well, to make it short um, it's about uh- the government- President Obama is planning to uh- a new one- (cuts out) 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry what? 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' You got cut off there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Uhh, ok, we lost him. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yo, Chris, uh, do you, you didn't just vote for Obama cause he was black, did you? 
'''Chris:''' No, I did not vote for him because he was black. I voted for him cause I saw myse- because I saw myself in him. In like, similar lifestyles. And I saw that he was a good man, I mean after all, com- I saw- I saw I watched both of the A&E documentaries, before I can- before I knew who I would vote for. 

'''(From 45.29)''' 

'''Julie:''' Chris:, Chris what did you see in him that you say in your self? 
'''Chris:''' Like for one thing we were like outcasts, at least one point in our lives. 
'''Black man:''' Wait, wait hold up earlier you said that you thought he would probably paint the white house black. 
'''Chris:''' Oh oh that was my father’s joke he said that. 
'''???:''' Is your father a racist? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but you see I drew that for him before I saw the documentaries so respectfully withdrew that comic page. 
'''???:''' does your father hate black people. 
'''Chris:''' Not necessarily but it’s just how my father just how my father that does not reflect in any way that’s how he felt (annoying ass noise in the background) 
'''Black man:''' Man that racist. 
'''??? :''' Hey Chris I so the ahh saw the Sonichu and Rosechu love sack that you put up and I thought if was pretty cool for (you adult friends?) I just had a question though: do you have any plans in the comic to have romance between you and one of the hedgehogs I mean- 
'''Chris:''' (Yelling) No no no 
'''???:''' -we would like to see that. 
'''???:''' I mean is was just wondering because there are fans how would like to see that. 
'''???:''' Now- now that you answered the his question my kind of relates to his what are your thoughts on inter racial breeding and marriages? 
'''Chris:''' I would not agree of disagree with them but in my personal preference I would fell- I would feel more comfortable in having a full relationship with a white woman but I am willing- am still willing to be friends and acquaintances and give and have respect for the black women as well. 
'''???:''' What about Asians like Japanese? 
'''Chris:''' I’m ok with them as well (yelling) a once. 
'''???:''' So would you get married with a Japanese woman? 
'''Chris:''' hhhmmmm I would have, yes. 
'''???:''' (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' but I’m giving Julie to opportunity here. 
'''Clyde''': Julie’s a lucky woman. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris, I was just wondering, is Silvana gonna become one of the good guys, like- like Black Sonichu did before? 
'''Chris:''' There’s a possibility but I have not given that a co- I have not confirmed that yet. 
'''???:''' Uh, is she gonna lose the male sexual parts and become a full-fledged woman? 
'''Chris:''' Hhhmmm possibly but I haven’t given that- I haven't given that thought either. 
'''???:''' Also um I was reading (?Phillip’s?) question, Chris what did you want to be when you were little? 
'''Chris:''' I don’t remember, I do not remember. I’m just making it as I go basically. 
'''???:''' is there ever gonna be like uh, an end to your sonichu series like a finale? 
'''Chris:''' hmmmm I don’t know, probably would not. 
'''???:''' Oh so it keeps going and going? 
???: You ever consider making comic about the history of CWCville? 
'''Chris:''' Hhmmmm an episode dedicated towards that possibility. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris are you going to keep the name changes that you made or are you going back to the original names? 
'''Chris:''' Ahhh ya I’m keeping the name changes. 
'''???:''' But you know umm Nintendo was umm, y'know, they sent you a letter you never really talk about it further. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but at least- at least- the hel- they use to benefit me for the fact that uh allowed me to fix noting in that sense so I couldn’t be sued by such people in that sense. 

'''(From 50 min)''' 

(scattered reactions) 
'''Chris:''' So the name changes were good. 
'''Guy:''' So uh, Chris I was wondering if uh Mary- Mary Lee Walsh Or I guess the new name: Ryam Sla- I don't know- 
'''Chris:''' Sla-weel. 
'''Guy:''' Slaweel, thank you. Uhm, if she were to use her magic to curse Rosechu with a penis, would Soni- what- wou- would that test the relationship between Sonichu and her? While they were fighting the battle to have it removed, I'm just curious. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh... Firstly uh, she does not- she does not have the power ch- to do that. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I just thought you know, remember you did the story about 4-cent-garbage and drawing all the- the picture and- 
'''Chris:''' Ah you what, that's one- that's one thing: drawing them, but not actually putting them on the character. 
'''Guy:''' Cause I think that would be like an epic story though, like to actually have a quest- 
Fan: I'll second that. 
'''Guy:''' -to go to have that penis removed from Rosechu. I mean it's a test of romance between her and Sonichu. 
(muttering) 
'''Guy:''' And when that prevails and the penis is removed and everybody- everybody lives happily ever after. Y'know that would be awesome. 
'''Chris:''' Unnnnnnnh, I dunno I have to- I dunno I have to think about that. 
'''Fan:''' It is a really good idea. I like it. 
'''Woman:''' I do too. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah, that's good. 
Other fan: It could show just how much Rosechu means to Sonichu. 
'''Chris:''' Well I'll- I'll consider it but I'm not making any promises. 
'''Guy:''' We understand. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
(several talking at once) 
'''Guy:''' -decided on that subject? 
'''Chris:''' I'm working on it. 
'''Guy:''' If you actually decide to go forward with that story? Do you think maybe- maybe you could give her a talking penis? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid!!! 
(laughter from various people) 
(unintelligible responses) 
'''Fan:''' Ok, I think- I think we've talked enough about that one guys. 
'''Other guy:''' I have a question that doesn't involve penises. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other guy:''' Anyway, my question is since we've been hearing lot of vicious lies and slander about this, could you confirm exactly why you've been fired from your job at Wendy's Chris? Cause we've been hearing all sorts of- of crazy things and we wanna know the truth. 
'''Chris:''' Mmmmmmmm... well, firstly, what have you heard? 
'''Other guy:'''Well we heard that uh you... we've heard so many things like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... also that- also that is correct but I did not scare the child. The child was tired, I was only trying ta- I was only trying to make the child feel better. That's a little amusement. But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired. 
'''Other guy:''' So you didn't help them cut their food and... yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I did help them- help them get their food to- by giving them uhh, by giving them bags and a top for their baked potato boat. 
'''Guy:''' Chris, when will um, the pictures of Zapina, appear on the um, 18 plus page? 
'''Chris:''' Well that was a deleted scene! That was a deleted scene. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Why was it deleted? 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Well, basically, hhh... y'c- y'cant' really have it if you don't have Rosechu working to take the- working to take the pictures of herself up in the bathroom. Cause like can't have one without the other. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaahhh... 
(pause) 
'''Woman:''' I don't know if this is a good question but there's something I wonder about that- we kind of have this DVD you made and... y'know, we never unfortunately got... but I'm curious um... do you ever plan to release it? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe. 
'''Other guy:''' I'd pay money for that, I think everyone else here would probably pay money for it too. 
'''Fan:''' Indeed. 
(pause) 
'''Other fan:''' (breaking up) I wanna ask a question. 
'''Guy:''' I hear it's also on YouTube. 
'''Fan:''' Chris do you know that you've influenced the rap/hip hop community? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmh... uh. 
'''Fan:''' I just wanted to mention that because I saw some YouTube videos and it- and- and from some underground hip hop artists such as Immortal Technique and they've sampled some of your voice audio complaining about your struggles with uhm... with the school board, with the security guards and they were- they felt so empowered that they actually took those words and mad'em into a very powerful rap song. How does that- how is your reaction to that? 
'''Chris:''' Enhhhh... basically I have not watched those videos so... I don't have an opinion. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I will provide you a link to that, hold on a moment. 
'''Chris:''' Oh that's ok, actually I uh, did sample one. The one where they basically played the parody from "Can't touch this". 
'''Fan:''' No, no, trust me it's waaay more serious than that. 
'''Chris:''' Well I still haven't heard of- heard of what you're talking about. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other fan:''' Nevermind. 
(rustling and moving noises) 
'''Guy:''' Can you do an impression of MC Hammer? 
(more clicking and rustling) 
'''Chris:''' Can't touch this do do do doo do dooo Can't touch this! Do do do dooo do do do... can't touch this. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome. 
'''Other fan:''' That was- heheheh. 
'''Other guy:''' Awesome. 
'''Guy:''' Can you- can you do Dr. Nick Riviera from the Simpsons? 
'''Chris:''' HIIII EVERYBODY! 
'''Other fan:''' Hello Christian Chandler. 
'''Other fan:''' Hi Chris. 
'''Other guy:''' Hi Christian Chandler. 
'''Chris:''' Well that should say Dr. Nick cause that's who I'm imitatin'. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
'''???:''' That uh- 
'''???:''' HELLOOO EV'RYBODY!!!! 
'''Guy:''' Well that- 
'''Chris:''' Hi Dr. Nick! 
'''Fan:''' Thank you, I love the Simpsons. 
'''Guy:''' Can you do... Peter from Family Guy? 
'''Chris:''' Enhenhenhenh... Hey Lois! Look at me! I'm just (unclear) you nose, and I'm eatin' your nose. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh that's dead on. 
'''Woman:''' Oh would you- Omicron's been interested in tis- would you actually make a documentary like- like your other DVD but make your daily life? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... I'm... yeah I might but uh... I'm not su- I'm not sure bout it at the moment. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaaaaaaanh... 
'''Guy:''' Chris can you do Mario? You know from Super Mario? 
'''Chris:''' Hay paisano! How you doin' mistah hedgehog! 
'''Guy:''' That's very good. 
'''Chris:''' And then Sonic- then Sonic would say "what?!?" 
(giggling) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris do you have any plans to make a video of yourself taking a dump on a Hexbox? 
'''Chris:''' No! That's gross. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah that was pretty sick right there. 
'''Accented woman:''' Let's ban him. 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's bad enough I cut in half with an axe. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' and one of the elevator jokes... 
'''Other fan:''' Oh we remember that, that was a classic. 
'''Chris:''' And I earned a trophy for that. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmm... 
'''British guy:''' Yeah, I remember that, it was destroying a Hexbox by cutting it in half if I remember... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' If I were to draw nude Zapina fanart, uhm, would you put them on the site? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... uhh, your- you uh- free to draw them at your- at your own- own preference, but I will not be- I will not put it on the website because- cause- because I will not want to break any laws of having underage portrayals- portrayals of underage nudity. 
'''Fan:''' Isn't Dot a child? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry... what? 
'''Fan:''' Dot, from Animaniacs. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) 
'''British guy:''' So-uh- uhm- I think I looked up somewhere that um, drawings do not count, they're just lines on paper not like real pictures that are horrible. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah I believe- 
'''Chris:''' Draw- 
'''Fan:''' (cut off) 
'''Other guy:''' Those illustrations do not count as child pornography. Because with drawing it's art- it's artistic merit. 
'''Chris:''' Welll... I dunno, I guess it depends I have to- but- y'know you could do the drawing and I'll think- I'll consider it. 
(typing noises) 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, would it be possible to get any pictures of Sonichu having anal sex with Rosechu? 
(pause... thumps and feedback) 
'''Chris:''' I'm considering that but... 
'''Accented woman''' Who keeps letting this person in? You are very offensive. 
'''Fan:''' -and and, if you draw those, do you think that Rosechu would actually clean Sonichu's penis off with her mouth (laugh) w-when they're done? 
'''Chris:''' Unnnhh... 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Nah, no, I don't think so, I think- I think- I think it would be unh- yeah w-wash it off with a washcloth. 
'''Fan:''' Do you think then, at that point then they would sell the washcloth on eBay? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid! 
(people talking over each other) 
'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no more potty humor, all right? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah alright, okay 
'''Fan:''' Unrelated to party humor, I want to ask that in your Springbreak uhh Issue of Sonichu you had an introduction of a, of new character, the [[Yawning Squirtle|squirtle]] and I wanna ask 
'''Chris:''' (interrupting) No, that's, no, no, no, that's not just a character, I was, I was not introducing a new character, I was just doing like a poster thing for a bubble speak under one, I thought I just draw some water type pokemon un-in there 
'''Fan''': I understand but the thing is there is huge cult following for that character and I strongly suggest that you should capalize on that and, and make him to a main character 
'''Chris:''' Eh... No, I don't think so 
'''Fan''': Yeah 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's just sleeping Squirtle work- waking up! 
'''Fan''': I don't know, people just thought he was really cute and yawning Squirtle, I don't know, I heard someone say, man wouldn't it be great if he would be that [[Autistic|dopey]] sidekick that he'd come and they'd be like, like, he'd come in and say something silly after someone did something and they would be like "Squirtle"! 
People laughing and talking over each other 
'''Julie:''' Um... 
???: Yo, it makes you *unintelligible* (Chris and someone talk over another) 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes Julie? 
'''Julie:''' I'm asking you about... Hm... Never mind, I lost my train of thought. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' That's okay. These guys made me lose a train of thought as well. Doesn't multiple inputs. 
'''Fan''': Yes, kinda lotta control here. I might- I may have to... never mind 
Silence 
'''Fan''': I never lose my train of thought because I have a GPS tracking system on it. 
Laughter 
'''Fan''': Oh, that was a good joke. (chuckle) 
'''Fan''': Yeah 
'''Fan''': Chris, could you tell us a joke right now. Just any joke. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, here is a fuck- here is a funny- here is a funny mind scream. Funny rhyme scheme... not to be taken literally: 
On your Game Boy Advance SP 
create 'yer MII 
den play it on WII 
with your PSP 
hooked to your PS3 
cause it's fun 
see? 
And never ff, and never play a [[Hex Box]] 360 
Because it's stupid and you're not a dummy (in childlike voice) 
Mock laughter 
'''Fan''': That is really good.
'''Fan''': Chris is that something you made up? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I made that up. 
'''Alucard''': Chris, Chris, can I write that down and tribute to quote you that? Oh man, that's good 
'''Chris:''' (unintelligible) So you mean to type it up and you quote me on the rhyme scheme? 
'''Alucard''': Yeah, I'd like that. I've been thinking about making a quote book like a mini Chris quote book like something you could open and have a cool line to say when you're on a party and you're like right things. 
People talking over Chris and Alucard 
'''Chris:''' Alright, well I'm typing it up for Alucard, so... 
'''Alucard''': Thank you. 
'''Julie:''' Chris, can we hear one more? 
'''Chris:''' Okay well here, okay um, okay here is an [[Christian's sex joke|adult joke]] I once come up with a long time ago. 
'''Fan''': This is going to be good! 
'''Chris:''' Alright- Alright there's this married couple, Bob and Jane, and they've been- they were looking forward to having children. So, one night, Bob comes home from work, and uh Jane says, "Hi, you had a good day, dear?" And he sa- and she sa-- he says, "Nah, it's been a long day, darling" And she said, "Well, it's okay, why don't we go upstairs, and we'll have some Breakfast." And he says, "Breakfast, at Nine p.m.?" And she says, "Sure, you bring the MILK, and I'll get an EGG." 
'''Fan''': Yo, I heard that before, man. 
'''Chris:''' And then later, they had a boy and a girl, Junior Bacon and Orange Juice. All Part of a Balanced Breakfast. 
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif]] 
Perplexed silence

'''Fan''': Hey, Chris, how do you solve a Mexican tank? 
'''Chris:''' Stand in front of it? 
'''Fan''': No, man, shoot the guys pushing at it. 
Laughter 
'''Fans''': Oh that's a good one. 
'''Other fan:''' I got one. 
'''Other fan:''' How do you get a bunch of [[Niggos|blacks]] in a car? 
'''Chris:''' I don't know. 
'''Other fan:''' Throw some chicken in. 
'''Other fan:''' How do you get them out of the car? 
'''Other fan:''' Job application. 
'''Fans''': (laughter) 
'''Fan''': What do you call a beach of black people buried up to their necks? 
'''Fan''': Afro-turf. 
'''Fans''': (laughter) 
'''Fan''': Oh, I came up with one. 
'''Fan''': Alright, what's the difference between a black man and a pizza? 
'''Fan''': A pizza can feed a family of four. 
'''Another fan''': How do you stop black people from jumping on a bed? 
'''Chris:''' Alright, enough racist jokes. 
'''Another fan''': Put velcro on the ceiling. 
'''Chris:''' Enough, enough black jokes. 
'''Fan''': Okay, uh Chris. 
'''Other fan''': Sorry 
'''Fan''': I showed by friend that over 18 site, and he said, that he um, he um, you know he, he masturbated to it. Does that make you feel (interrupted) 
'''Chris:''' That's good, that's basically the reaction I would be going for. Among the male ca... among the male population, being attracted to the women. 
'''Fan''': But those are your drawings, it's like, I think he's gay now. I mean, you're a guy and you drew those. 
'''Chris:''' I'm drawing, I'm drawing female characters. 
'''Fan''': Yah, but it's drawn by you and you're, like, I don't know. It's kind of awkward for me. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. 
'''Other fan''': Hey Chris, I actually need to thank you, the pictures on that site, it looked like the camera was inside Sonichu's penis when Rosechu was giving him a blowjob. That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I've always wanted to have a camera in my penis so that I could see that if I ever got a blowjob, that would be awesome, I just wanted to say thank you very much for that perspective. It's the first time I've ever seen it. 
'''Fan''': There's a question here on the site, oh sorry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well I see it... no I don't basically masturbate to my own drawings. 
'''Fan''': But you're okay if other people do, right? Even guys? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
'''Fan''': You're okay if other people, you know, masturbate to your drawings? Even if they're guys, right? 
'''Chris:''' If the guys are masturbating to the female drawings, then yes, that's fine. 
'''Fan''': I just thought it was kind of awkward, but maybe I'm seeing it a different way. 
'''Chris:''' I doubt that, uh, having a whole bunch of drawings of naked female characters can be misinterpreted as something else. 
'''Another fan''': Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes? 
'''Another fan''': Can I to ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Another fan''': One time, a friend and I were looking at porn together, and we masturbated together, but the porn was straight, ordinary porn. Is this gay? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, where you looking at naked women? 
'''Another fan''': Yes, but we were in the same room, masturbating. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, if you both were thinking about the naked women you were looking at, then I would definitely say you both are straight, cuss you're not thinking about each other, you're thinking about the women. 
'''Another fan''': Right. 
'''Fan''': Would you do that with someone? 
'''Another fan''': I'm relieved. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh. 
'''Fan''': Man, nigger you gay. 
'''Other fan''': Shut up. Would you do that with someone? Like a guy? 
'''Chris:''' No, no I'd rather not. 
'''Fan''': Nah, I'm straight dog. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I'd, yeah I'd rather not. 
'''Fan''': Omnicron has a question on here, on the side here. 
'''Fan''': You see it, or? 
'''Chris:''' No. That's not straight. 
'''Fan''': Alright, what about the earlier question. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah, the one before. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, which one before? Oh, you mean... 
(All talk at once) 
'''Fan''': Chris, what do you think about- 
'''Other fan''': Wait, wait let him answer. 
'''Another fan''': Let him answer that one. 
'''Fan''': I was gonna rephrase it but okay. 
'''Chris:''' I'd say it would depend on your interpretation, what is adultery to you? 
'''Fan''': But, you know, isn't the Bible only supposed to be interpreted, it's the word of God, you're not really supposed to interpret it any other way. 
'''Other fan''': It is what it is. 
'''Fan''': It's in English. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh, I have no comment. 
'''Fan''': That's okay. 
'''Fan''': Yeah, that's what my, uh, you know I was talking about my mom saw those drawings. I mean, not the drawings, the posters, the playboy posters and that's basically what she got bad about. She said I was committing adultery. 
'''Fan''': Yeah okay, if you don't want to talk about it, fine. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, hmmm, I think you shou, I think you should, uh, when you, I think I can see where this could be interpreted one way or another, it depends on how you look at the woman. I mean, alright, you're looking at the, uh woman, you might imagine her naked, but, I mean, you would respe- I mean, you would, you would still respect, I mean, if you were still respecting that woman, you would appreciate her more for like who she was aside or in addition to the nudity, then that's not as bad as just, as just only doing it for the appearance. 
'''Chris:''' That's why, uh, that's why the playboy magazines, they give you the introductions of the women. It's like letting you know who they are (unintelligible). 
'''Fan''': Oh but, yeah, but there weren't any, uh, descriptions under the, yeah never mind. 
'''Other fan''': Thank you for the clarification Chris. 
'''Fan''': Hey Chris, do you love America? 
'''Chris:''' I'm patriotic. 
'''Fan''': That's good. I was wondering if you could sing the national anthem for us? 
'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:My Country, 'Tis of Thee| My country tis' of thee. Sweet land of liberty. Of thee, of thee I sing.]] I don't remember the rest. 
'''Fan''': Lands where my fathers died. 
'''Other fan''': That's okay. 
'''Fan''': Land of the pilgrim's pride. 
'''Another fan''': Pilgrim's pride. 
(Fans all start singing) 
'''Fan''': Stop it. 
'''Chris:''' Hey I'll, I'll tell y'all a funny joke that's kind of patriotic. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, you got this, you got this funny Mexican- you got this funny Mexican guy, and he just, he just come back home to Meh-he-co after an American visit. He's like (high pitched voice) Oh the people there are so very friendly. I mean, I go to the basketball game. I sit in the back row. I sit in the back row. And then, and then, and then all of a su- and then all of the sudden right before the game started, everyone turned around, put their hands on their chests, and they say, "Oh say can you seeeeee"! 
'''Fan''': I thought you said no racist jokes? 
'''Black fan''': Yeah man, that ain't cool! 
'''Chris:''' It was a name, it was a name joke. 
(Everyone talks at once) 
'''Fan''':...Spanish language 
'''Other fan''': I'm kind of offended by that. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry. 
'''Black fan''': That's racist dog. That ain't cool. 
'''Fan''': That's okay. 
'''Other fan''': You laugh you support terrorism. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Fan''': What? 
'''Other fan''': Yeah, what? 
'''Fan''': ¿Qué?
'''Chris:''' What'd you say? 
'''Fan''': What the hell? Who said that? 
'''Fan''': Forget it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other fan''': I said, you laugh, you support terrorism. 
'''Fan''': Okay, he's gone. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' (Awful Mr. T impression) I pity the fool, who try and misinterpret things, and twist them around, and then jam new words into my mouth. 
(All talk) 
'''Fan''': You do a good Mr. T 
'''Other fan''': Yeah you do. 
'''Chris:''' (unintelligible) no jibber jabber. 
(Fans laugh) 
'''Fan''': Chris, did you watch the A-team back in the day? 
'''Chris:''' No but, no but, basica- but I have seen Mr. T. And then I also, I also saw when he guest, when he quest starred in an episode of Alvin and the Chipmunks. 
(All talk) 
'''Fan''': I saw that episode, he helped uh Theodore. 
'''Other fan''': Theodore was getting picked on, yes. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
'''Fan''': Yeah, you posted a link here. 
'''Chris:''' Well at my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]], uh, sex before marriage is okay as long as, uh, she and I, we love each other very much and truly. 
'''Fan''': But that's what they tell you, I'm talking about the word of God. 
'''Chris:''' *Sigh* Okay, I'm getting tired, okay, I'm getting tired here, uh. 
'''Julie:''' Yeah, but... 
'''Fan''': Okay, sorry, no more of that. 
'''Julie:''' Yeah, you're right. Please stay Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, I'll stay a little while longer. 
'''Fan''': Yeah, if anyone does, if anyone asks anything that makes him feel uncomfortable, I'm gonna kick you out of the room. 
(Everyone speaks) 
'''Other fan''': Chris, could you give me some advice? 
'''Other fan''': I have a Japanese friend, he's, he's actually 26 and he's never had a girlfriend and we asked him some questions, just joking around one day. And we asked him if his, when he gets married, if his wife wanted to sleep with another man, would he be okay with it, and he actually said yes, as long as she wasn't being forced. Now that kind of bothered us, because us Americans, right, we think that marriage, and you know you're with somebody, they should be faithful, but he doesn't seem to think so, so I wanted to see if you had any advice maybe on what we could do to try and convince him that his viewpoint is wrong. 
'''Chris:''' Well, hmm, it's not necessarily that the viewpoint is wrong. See, the thing is, what, to, to quote, to make it accepta- to make it like as if you're actually cheating on somebody, cheating on your spouse in the marriage, it's like not telling them, not telling him, not telling him or her about it beforehand, but it's like, you know, you, it's like you tell them beforehand and you get their approval, it's, it's okay, even if they don't want to be part of it. But not telling them, that's definitely like uh, cheating on them. 
(Audio cuts out) 
'''Chris:''' Well that's another thing I would have to think about, cause, got a bit of a, couple of items of destruction that need to be repaired 
'''Fan''': Oh, I just got, I just talked to that one friend I was talking about who, uh, saw your website, the 18 one, and it turns out he's, he's gay, he's actually gay and he fapped to, uh I mean he masturbated to, uh, Sonichu. 
'''Other fan''': Hahaha, your friend's a fag. 
'''Fan''': And I think he's... 
(Audio cuts out for 15 seconds) 
'''Fan''': ...about that? 
'''Chris:''' Well, I think in case you would definitely want to let him know that you are straight and you don't want that kind of relationship, and maybe, and you know 
'''Fan''': Should I tell him just to get the hell away from your site? 
'''Chris:''' Um, I'm not saying that, but like, uh, you know, you don't want that kind, you don't, I mean that's, that's basically confirmed on that note. So, uh, you want, you still wanna be friends but you don't, but you're not into that kind of thing. 
'''Fan''': I mean, he was looking at your site, like, the 18 site and he was in like, um- 
'''Chris:''' Over 18. 
'''Fan''': The over 18 site you made. The loveshack. I thought he was just like, you know, masturbating to Rosechu, but it turns out he was attracted to Sonichu. 
'''Chris:''' *sigh* Uhh. 
'''Fan''': Yeah, I don't think I'll be friends with this guy anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, yeah, then tell him, yeah, to get the hell out of your house and stay away if you don't want to be friends anymore. 
'''Other fan''': Seems like you know too many gay friends mister. 
'''Fan''': Oh shut up. 
'''Another fan''': Hey Chris, you know how- 
'''Fan''': It's not my fault. 
'''Another fan''': You know how cologne or perfume, you know, women wear that to try and attract men? Do you think that farts attract gay guys to each other? 
'''Chris:''' Now that's stupid! Not only is that stupid, but it's gross. 
'''Fan''': Here, I'm gonna take that question and I'm gonna, I'm gonna take that question and spin that into something that's less weird. What would you say the best cologne or whatever a guy could wear to get a girl's attention? 
'''Chris:''' I recommend [[Axe|Axe]] body spray. 
'''Fan''': Oh yeah? I think I tried that one time. 
'''Female fan''': That actually does it for me. 
'''Fan''': What scent do you use? 
(All speak) 
'''Fan''': Don't you use ass body spray? 
'''Other fan''': Mmm, love it. 
'''Fan''': Does the Axe effect, does it really exist? 
'''Chris:''' Does Axe exist? 
'''Fan''': Yeah, the Axe effect. You know, they say in the commercials spray it and girls will come to you. 
'''Female fan''': (unintelligible) and it works for me. 
'''Fan''': Has it worked for you Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, well, yeah, I, yeah I haven't got that working for me. 
'''Fan''': I think it's a scam personally. 
'''Other fan''': I mean... I mean, Old Spice is pretty good. I had, I had like a couple of girls go up to me asking me for dates with Old Spice. 
'''Female fan''': I actually wore that Orion sent, uhh, still smelling it. So it will work Chris, you just gotta give it time. 
'''Chris:''' Using the Axe. 
'''Fan''': Cameron but, isn't Axe spray for men? 
'''Female fan''': No no no no no no no, see, see I said a boyfriend, a boyfriend that I met. 
'''Fan''': Oh, okay. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah, yeah. *laughs* 
'''Fan''': That makes sense. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah, silly, silly. I have a question for you Chris, what celebrities have you met? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, oh. 
'''Fan''': Well what I'm saying is the Axe effect doesn't work. Okay, sorry. 
'''Chris:''' I haven't actually met other celebrities in person, my real life, unless you count a local radio DJ. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I've met the DJ of my radio station 95.1 and [[Excel Saga|Monica Rial]], and meeting Monica Rial was just a treat. 
'''Female fan''': Ahhh. 
'''Chris:''' It was, it was good. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah, she's pretty. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah. 
'''Fan''': Maybe you should go to her and, um, maybe she could be like a contact for voice acting. I mean, you do pretty good imitations. 
'''Other fan''': Do Homer Simpson! 
'''Chris:''' (Homer Simpson impression) Oh, look at me! I'm a stupid old person, derp-de-derp de derp-de-derp, D'OH! 
'''Fan''': That was awesome 
'''Other fan''': Who else can you do Chris? 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Other fan''': What other imitations can you do? 
'''Chris:''' Oh, a lot. It depends on if you name it, I might recall, if you name the person or character I'll, if I can recall my memory than I will imitate that person. 
'''Other fan''': Can you try Bender from Futurama? 
'''Chris:''' I reckon I can do a pretty good Bender! I can twist off my arm and, derp-de-derp de derp-de-derp! 
'''Fan''': Chris, um, since my girlfr-(clears throat)-sorry. Since my girlfriend broke up with me, I was just wondering if you could give me any tips to like, pick up y'know, another girlfriend? 
'''Female fan''': (unintelligible) Valentine's Day is coming. 
'''Fan''': Yeah. It's gonna be lonely without her, y'know. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah I know. 
'''Fan''': Can you help? 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) No I do not know what tha- neither of them sound like in voices so I can't imitate them. (sigh) As for- as for dating advice uh, if you're- when you're going out to meet a woman, and this is like advice that's like it could've been taken from my, taken from my own advice I gave in the, the one in the video I did when I just turned 25. But it was definitely, it was given, but it was offered in this book written by a nine-year-old. 
'''Female fan''': Mm. 
'''Chris:''' When you're going to uh find yourself a woman, you just try to stay calm. And uh be polite, friendly. Don't uh let your nerves get the best of ya. 
'''Fan''': What should I say, what should I say here, y'know, to the girl? 
'''Chris:''' Start with "hello" and "how are you". 
'''Fan''': Should I ask her, should I like do a pick-up line? Do those work? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Um, sometimes. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't exactly count on it in a desperate situation. But I mean like uh, talk about yourself a little bit saying like, "Ooh did you read in the paper today about this article that really caught my eye?" 
'''Fan''': I was thinking about standing by the wall with [[Attraction Sign|a sign]]. Saying that I need a girlfriend? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, don't- don't do that. That makes you look retarded. 
(Laughter) 
'''Other fan''': What about wearing a sticker that says you're single. Have you ever tried that? Do you think that would work? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry what was that? A stick- 
'''Other fan''': Wearing like a uh, a sticker that says "I'm single". 
'''Fan''': Wait a second I'm not done yet. 
'''Other fan''': Oh I'm sorry. 
'''Fan''': I got that idea from your comic. I mean I thought it was a- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. I later learned that that, I already learned from my mother that made me look retarded. (Female fan laughs) To other people, so... 
'''Other fan''': Ohh. (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' So I stop- So I stopped- So I stopped doing that a long time ago and, I don't know (what payed attention?) 
'''Fan''': Oh. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Mm. Basically I'm running from others that have offered such advice. 
'''Female fan''': Oh yeah like John Tesh I remember that in your news dash. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. And also it's like uh there's an expression in my elementary somewhere uh, those who can't teach. 
'''Female fan''': Ah. 
'''Fan''': Um, I remember (unintelligible). Um, I was um, looking at um (something), how do you feel about Obama swearing in his book? Even read it out loud in the audiobook version. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Hm. (rustling and typing in the background) Hm. Ah, yeah I heard of that, didn't care much, didn't uh give much thought into it so... Uh swearing yeah don't care much for it. 
'''Fan''': So Chris I was just wondering uh, like can you hear me? 
'''Female fan''': I can hear you. 
'''Fan''': Uhh. Does wearing that medallion, does that attract females? I was thinking about making my own. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) You could do what you want, to try and make yourself stand out. Um... But it depends on if you, it depends on other peoples' point of uh you I guess at this point, um... You might want to get a second opinion. I mean it's not like I can see you over da Mumble and uh say what makes you look okay and what makes you look NOT okay. Yeah, g- get a second opinion from somebody else in person. 
'''Fan''': What about you, do you think that medallion makes you look, y'know, more attractive to girls? 
'''Chris:''' Ehhmmm. Yeah. Yeah I don't know. I don't know. 
'''Fan''': Yeah I think it looks pretty cool on you. So that's, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Well you could try it, see if you could try and see if it works for ya. 
'''Female fan''': Speaking, speaking of the medallion, I noticed you wear it on the outside. Have you ever done any replacing the chain on it to something a little more comfortable? 
'''Chris:''' Uh no. It's fine. It's fine. I mean I'd say that this uh the necklace chain with the like a pair- like a pair of- like a pair of keyrings with a belt buckle on them. 
'''Female fan''': Mm. Alright. 
(typing noises) 
'''Other fan''': Hey Chris in hentai, the uh guys- like the girls usually say no but the, the guy touches her a bit and she gets into it. I was just wondering if you think that really works, have you ever tried that? 
'''Chris:''' Uh. I'm sorry, could you repeat that? 
'''Other fan''': I said in hentai, y'know the Japanese um, kinda pornography- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah- 
'''Other fan''': -usually, the, the girl kind of says no but then the guy starts touching her boobs or something and she gets real excited and gets into it. I was just wondering if you think that really works. Can you just make a girl excited and into you just like t hat? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh... Yeah I don't think so. I me- I mean in most of the time I'm sure you would probably just, the girl would probably just turn around and slap you right in the face or kick you in the groin. 
(Various pained groans) 
'''Fan''': I don't know, you were saying it's educational. I think I saw that in a porn too. 
'''Other fan''': Uh. Also (unintelligible) asked "How far have you gotten with a girl"? 
'''Chris:''' I've never even been on a first date in my lifetime. 
'''Female fan''': Ohhh. 
'''Chris:''' At this point. 
'''Fan''': Hey Chris? 
(Fans talk over each other) 
'''Other fan''': I was suggesting uh Chris, I have family in Bristow, Virginia. I've been out there a lot. And you know, they're- I mean, people that I've seen in Virginia don't really like anime and things that much. Have you ever considered maybe trying to meet a girl in the west coast? Because a lot of people, especially universities are into anime culture. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) Yeah but I'm no- I'm not planning on traveling outside of my state. Plus I would prefer to keep it local. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah. 
(pause) 
(Everyone talks over each other) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but to see the world means to have to have the money to actually go see the world. 
'''Fan''': Well You just have to save up a little bit. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah. I mean you know, trains are good. 
'''Female fan''': (strange incognizable noise) 
'''Other fan''': Gas is cheap now. 
'''Other fan''': You can meet so many people just going on a road trip or just you know, taking the bus or something I mean it's not too expensive, it's cheaper than a plane- (Chris talks over him) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I hear you on that. But I just like, you know, if I want to go on a road trip I'd uh, I would not like to go it alone. I'd like to have my sweetheart by my side. 
'''Female fan''': Mmm. 
'''Fan''': The point is you could always get a job. That's what I did once a-(cut off) 
'''Chris:''' Uh. 
(Fans talk over each other) 
'''Other fan''': -and I wanted to meet a girl? I got this t-shirt that says "ask me about my large and attractive penis" and I wear that to the mall and it works every time. 
'''Fan''': Are you kidding, really? 
'''Other fan''': Yes. (cut off) 
'''Female fan''': Well that's interesting. (laughs) I have to meet you some time. 
'''Chris:''' Ah boy. Uhh, alright, gentleman's clubs um... 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, what was that noise just now? 
'''Chris:''' Noise? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I heard like a (snorts) noise. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Yeah, that was probably me be- because I was like objecting to the uh, when he was describing what it said on his t-shirt. 
'''Fan''': Yeah that wasn't cool. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other fan''': You guys have no taste. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah- 
'''Guy''': Disgusting! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I know. 
'''Fan''': Okay um. 
'''Chris:'''But it just uh, just it m- just ma- I mean the way I see it, see somebody else wearing that it makes, it uh, it makes- it s- it would appear that guy is only looking for sex and women would be turned by sh- sh- sex right away at that point. 
'''Guy''': Yeah it kinda sums up (cut off) 
'''Fan''': Um, so... 
'''Chris:''' Um... (Chris and Fan talk over each other) Yeah let me answer this guy's question. Yeah I don't know much about gentleman's clubs so I can't really answer that question. A, and uh... 
'''Fan''': What about you though, like when you're looking for a girl, does like sex really matter? Like, to attractiveness? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, er, yeah. Eventually the se- yeah. Attractiveness does matter in one point of view but uh, but if you think about it it's like you want to get to know the person, the woman inside as well. Um, so, (I'd rather be in it?) so like uh, we were very close to each other emotionally and like friends, then the sex. Like uh, how Panda and I were very... close. 
'''Female fan''': Hmm. 
'''Other guy''': What happened to Panda? 
'''Female fan''': Yeah what happened to her? 
'''Chris:''' I haven't heard fermer- I haven't heard from her in over two weeks and then recently there were, there was the fires in Australia close to by where she was. So I don't know whether she's still alive or not. I haven't heard from her in over a coupl- over two weeks. 
'''Other guy''': That's awful. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah. I heard it was real bad, it was like a hundred and eight people died from those fires. 
'''Black fan''': Daaaamn! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but you know it's okay that at least I have uh, at least I have uh, at least I have a good woman who w- who's willing to uh be at my side at this point. 
'''Female fan''': Man... Uh- 
(Multiple people talk at once) 
'''Accented woman''': -for the people who are dead? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
'''Accented woman''': So you feel no remorse for the people who have died in Australia? 
'''Chris:''' Oh no no, I DO feel remorse. Especially to Sarah sh- eh- I mean... I worry about her she's still ali- I worry about- I'm concerned if she's actually dead or still alive. 
'''Fan''': Yeah I'm sorry to hear that. 
'''Chris:''' I me- I mean, I mean I'd li- I mean I pray every day that she's still alive safe and well. And that she contact me soon. 
'''Accented woman''': But you... you automatically, you basically abandoned her for Julie. 
'''Chris:''' But I did not basically abandon her for Julie. 
'''Accented woman''': That is what it appear- seems like. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' (sigh)...(sigh) 
'''Fan''': She could be still alive, you never know. 
'''Other fan''': Even if she isn't still alive, take solace in the fact with her perfectly barbequed remains fed to survivors. 
'''Chris:''' SHUT UP!!! 
'''Fan''': Um, that was too far, you're going too far man. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. And at this point I care about both- I care about of uh both of them equally. Both uh Sarah and Julie. But it's like, it's like you know uh, I'm uh stil- if she let's me- if she uh gets in contact with me, letting me know that she's still alive, and uhh she... 
'''Fan''': But I'm letting you know Julie, if she's still alive what are you gonna do then? 
'''Other fan''': And if people actually did eat her what would you do to them? 
'''Chris:''' OH SHUT UP!!!! Kick that guy out! 
(pause) 
(laughter in background) 
'''Fan''': Okay um. Uh... 
'''Chris:''' Uh, but you know in all seriousness if Sarah gets in contact with me and lets me know she's gonna be coming my way in real life, and uh- 
'''Fan''': You're not gonna dump Julie are you? 
(uneasy pause) 
'''Chris:''' No, I wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. 
'''Julie:''' Oh but! Oh... 
'''Chris:''' Julie I still, Julie I still love you. 
'''Late guy''': Hello everyone. 
'''Julie:''' But you told me I was your sweetheart, didn't you? 
'''Female fan''': Oh hello, Doctor. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. (stress sigh) Julie I'm going through a- I'm going through a transition right now so it's kind of hard for me to make uh, short watch of what I say at points and y'know answering these kind of questions. 
'''Fan''': I'm sorry uh, I don't mean to offend you or anything. Well I was just wondering- 
'''Guy''': (unintelligible) guy Chris. 
'''Other guy''': Uncalled for. 
'''Black fan''': Y'know what, don't worry about Sarah. Cause, y'know it usually takes like, like months for a person, like a victim of a fire or a flood of some crap like that, to y'know find shelter and then phone and internet and all that. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other guy''': You know, if the place is in a state of emergency, people are getting moved around all over the place, there's people in the hospital, I'm sure she's fine she just can't y'know talk to anyone. 
'''Guy''': What about Alucard's question? 
'''Fan''': Wait, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) Uh, I can't answer that question. 
'''Female fan''': Mm? 
'''Other guy''': Why not? 
'''Chris:''' Because I'm still in a transition right- I'm still in a transition from Sarah to Julie at this point so uh I can't answer that question right now cause I wouldn't know how to answer it. 
'''Accented woman''': It seems- 
'''Guy''': So you "transition"? 
'''Fan''': It's a hard choice, I can't blame you I mean, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Oh I mean you know what, that's- that's a flat out bad question, I mean I would- I'd be able- 
'''Other guy''': It's quite valid. 
'''Chris:''' (aggravated) Auuuughh! Okay now I'm gettin' uh, okay now my head's out of order. 
'''Fan''': Oh. 
'''Other guy''': I've had that problem too. 
'''Guy''': It's never fun. 
'''Fan''': Okay forget it then. 
'''Female fan''': Uh okay I got, I got one. Impressions, impressions! Uh, can you do one of Bill Clinton? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh... no. 
'''Female fan''': Oh. 
'''Other guy''': Um, Chris? Do you- 
(Everyone talks at once) 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) 
'''Other guy''': I was wondering do you watch the Boondocks on Adult Swim? 
'''Black fan''': Aw yeah that's my show! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I've watched the Boondocks. 
'''Other guy''': Did you enjoy it? 
'''Chris:''' It's alright. 
'''Other guy''': Can you do any imitations of the characters there, like Uncle Ruckus? 
'''Chris:''' (incoherent gibberish) -dem niggers over there! Sing along if you know the words to that song I just made up. 
'''Other guy''': What was that? 
'''Guy''': That was, wait, what? 
'''Chris:''' That was Uncle Ruckus. Well I'll tell ya what I sell propane and propane accessories all day long! (begins a high-pitched cackling and squeals more gibberish)... That was- 
'''Other fan''': Could you do Meowth from Pokemon? 
'''Chris:''' Meowth! 
'''Fan''': The talking Meowth. 
'''Chris:''' Meowth! ... (cackles again) Aye Jessie, James, we gotta go snag that Pikachu again! 
'''British guy''': Do you know how to do the Team Rocket song? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, the Team Rocket song er, do you mean the motto? 
'''British guy''': Myes the motto, the classic one. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hmmmm... Prepare for trouble make it double, to protect the world from devastation, to uni- to unite all people- o- (sigh)... 
'''Guy''': ...in our nation! 
'''Chris:''' Mm. Anyway... (sigh) Hang on I'm a little mixed up here. Prepare for trouble make it double, to protect the world from devastation, to unite all people within our nation, to debi- to debide(sic) the evils of truth and love, to extend our reach to the stars above. Team Rocket blast off to the speed of light, surrender now or prepare to fight. 
'''Guy''': ... Meowth, that's right. 
'''Other guy''': That's right! 
(chuckling) 
'''Fan''': Now hand over the Pikachu! 
'''Chris:''' No. (sigh) 
'''Fan''': Oh come on- 
'''Accented woman''': -than Sonichu, because Sonichu is obviously more powerful than Pikachu! 
'''Chris:''' I will not hand over the Sonichu, so there. (pause) Alucard, stop asking the questions please? 
'''Accented woman''': Yes Alucard you are very annoying. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah someone kick him out. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. 
'''Guy''': Good goin' Canine. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Canine''': Anytime. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Actually I'm k- actually I'm kind of tired now uh... I'm gonna- I'm gonna head on down now but y'know I'll come back another night. 
'''Other guy''': Okay. 
'''Accented woman''': Well thanks for coming Chris, we really appreciate it. 
'''Clyde''': No. I've got a few questions for you Chris, I've been waiting. 
'''Julie:''' Clyde no, no, no. 
'''Accented woman''': How did he get in here? 
(Everyone yells over each other) 
'''Clyde''': It's important! 
'''Guy''': Ohh he leeeft! 
'''Clyde''': No, no, shut up, shut up- 
'''Other guy''': He's not coming back, give up. 
'''Clyde''': Tell him it's important it's about Panda! 
'''Other fan''': I'm digesting her right now. 
'''Clyde''': That will get him back in, I know it. 
'''Guy''': What's the important news? 

[End recording]

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 8|Mumble Chat 8]]|}}

==Links==
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBWklfakp0TGdDSkU Download]

==See also==

[[Christian's sex joke]] - Used during this chat.

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 7

2015-06-16T20:33:50Z

WhatAPsychopath: /* 10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies */

'''Mumble 7''' is the seventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 13 [[February 2009]].

Appears to be the genesis for the "Power" videos in which Chris attempts and fails to prove his [[I AM STRONG|strength]] and [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge For Clyde|skill]], though these would not materialize for several months.

==Summary==

* A fan talks to Chris about putting naked posters of girls and pictures of men up in his room up to find out if his friend was a [[homo]] as Chris suggested. He tells Chris that his girlfriend dumped him over the posters and his friend ignored all of them. Chris sees nothing wrong with his advice until Julie tells him that she wouldn't like that. Chris recommends sending an anonymous letter explaining the situation and utterly fails to apologize or show concern.
* Fans point out that Chris shouldn't have to show and prove that he is straight.
* Chris cuts a fan off to let Julie ask a question involving [[pedofork|shota]].
* Fans ask Chris to turn his radio down.
* Chris uses Wal-Mart printer paper & RSVP ballpoint pen to draw, and a 50-pack of Crayola markers to color. Refuses to use color pencils or Photoshop to color, saying he prefers the markers.
* Chris talks about Omicron's redone version of [[Sonichu]], accusing him of plagiarism. Says that the difference between what Omicron is doing and what he is doing is that Sonichu is his. Agrees to let Omicron continue if he credits Chris with the copyright.
* '''Julie is convincing Chris to make videos proving to Clyde how strong he is.''' Chris feels that the [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|dildo breaking video]] proved this. Fans say that Chris's dildo comes apart naturally for cleaning.
* '''A fan recommends making a video showing off his fighting moves to scare Clyde.'''
* Chris is asked why he would use a dildo in proving that he is straight. Chris says that he is straight for crushing it, fans call him a [[homo]] for keeping it.
* Chris [[lie|denies]] [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|using the dildo]], and claims that it's now broken. Fan says it could easily be reassembled. Chris is adamant that it was glued and that it took a lot of strength to pull it apart.
* When asked by Julie, '''Chris admits using super-shears from Cutco to break the dildo glue, claiming to use a lot of strength in the process'''.
* Fans discuss [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]. Chris insists that it was drawn in protest of [[ED]]. He says it was anonymous, as most women have long brown hair and her eyes were censored.
* Insists that [[:File:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|the Rule 34 of Angelica Rosechu]] is masturbating and enjoying it, and is using her hand to do it.
* Chris thinks Billy Mays is on Home Improvement.
* Chris isn't doing anything on Valentine's Day, as Julie is not there yet.
* Chris discusses the the No-Redheads policy in his [[Love Quest]]. Says that redheads don't attract him unless they are not natural redheads. No piercings or tattoos allowed.
* Chris is OK with blue hair.
* Does a terrible Marge Simpson impersonation.
* Chris impersonates Comic Book Guy and Donald Duck.
* A fan presents the possibility that AIDS was sent by God to kill the [[homos]].
* [[Chris and Religion|Premarital sex being forbidden in Christianity]] is discussed. Chris fumbles for an explanation.
* '''A fan pretending to be black says he believes the government made AIDS to get rid of black people. Chris says that that's the kind of thing a black guy would say'''.
* Premarital sex comes up again. Chris compares it to using porn to practice and learn skills for later.
* The fake black fan calls Chris on his comment from earlier about black guys and AIDS. He makes the excuse that someone else said it first.
* Questions on Sonichu start. Sonichu doesn't wear clothes because it's a comic. Chris isn't sure how [[Blake]] sounds. He might sound black, he might sound like Shadow the Hedgehog. The fake black fan asks why the bad guy has to be black, also mentioning [[Silvana]]. Chris says that he doesn't have to be.
* Chris gets annoyed about the pronunciation of [[Rosechu]] as popularized by the Old Narrator of the [[Audiobooks]].
* '''Chris doesn't disagree that the Audiobooks made Sonichu more popular that he ever did'''.
* He doesn't mind fanfics that don't portray Sonichu in a bad light.
* The audio goes low in the main chat and a fan has a private, unrelated conversation for a few minutes.
* Audio comes back as Chris is admitting that the [[B-Manajerk]] was black in real life.
* Chris doesn't watch the news, so doesn't have an opinion on [[Barack Obama|Obama]]. He voted for him because he saw a documentary where he saw more of himself in Obama, namely that he was an outcast at one point.
* A fan says that you should vote based on politics, not personality. Chris says that he is a moderate.
* Chris doesn't know what the financial bailout is. He says that he drew the [[Sonichu 8#The Elevator Gags|racist picture]] of Obama based on his father's joke, before he saw the documentaries that made him vote.
* Chris will not agree or disagree with interracial dating/marriage. He would want a white woman, but he would be [[gal pals|friends]] with others.
* He'd marry an Asian.
* It's not yet known if Silvana will be a good guy or if she will lose her [[pickle|dick]].
* '''Chris doesn't know what he wanted to be when he was younger, he's just making it up as he goes along'''.
* '''Chris is keeping the name changes in the comics for legal reasons'''.
* A fan suggests Slaweel cursing Rosechu to have a dick. Chris gets upset before saying that he'll think about it. The fans think it's a great idea. One considers a talking penis for Rosechu. Chris says it's a stupid idea.
* Another fan asks about Chris being sacked from Wendy's. He denies scaring the child with his Donald Duck impersonation, saying that he didn't make him cry.
* Chris might release his DVD one day.
* A fan says that Chris has influenced underground rappers such as Immortal Technique, who has sampled him.
* Chris takes requests. Impersonates MC Hammer, Dr Nick Riviera, Peter from [[Family Guy]], Mario and Sonic, butchering them all and tainting our childhood memories.
* More Sonichu questions. '''Chris won't upload [[Zapina]] [[Rule 34]] because she is underage and Chris is worried about legal ramifications'''. When he is reassured that this would be legal, he says he would consider it. He will also consider Sonichu-Rosechu anal sex. Rosechu would not clean the [[pickle]] with her mouth, she would clean it off with a washcloth. He would not sell the the washcloth on EBay.
* Chris calls a stop to the potty humor displayed throughout the Sonichu questions.
* '''Chris denies that [[Yawning Squirtle]] is a character'''.
* Fans ask for a joke. He recites a dreadful rhyme about Videogame consoles. He then tells his awful [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]]. Fans start to tell racist jokes about [[niggos|black people]] and Mexicans. Chris calls for a stop to this.
* A fan says that his friend [[mass debating|masturbated]] to the [[rule 34|adult section of Sonichu]] and is now worried that his friend is a [[homo]], as they were drawn by a man. '''Chris says that this is what he intended it for''', and they are drawings of women, so his friend is straight. He doesn't masturbate to his own drawings.
* Chris reassures a fan that [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] in the same room as another man isn't gay as long as both men are thinking of women, but he would not do this.
* Chris offers no comment as to what constitutes adultery.
* Chris says that he is patriotic. Asked to sing the national anthem, he instead mangles a few lines of "My Country, 'Tis of Thee". He then tells a 'patriotic' joke that is insensitive to Mexicans. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|The fans call him on his "no more racist jokes" statement from earlier]].
* Chris does a poor impersonation of Mr T.
* Chris says that if you are married, sleeping with someone else isn't cheating if you have consent from your spouse.
* Chris gives more advice on homos and recommends Axe body spray for attracting girls.
* Chris has not met any celebrities, only local DJs.
* Does impersonations of Homer Simpson and Bender. The two sound identical.
* Chris gives dating advice: Stay calm, polite, friendly and don't let your nerves get the best of you. Say "Hello, how are you" and talk about yourself. '''[[Barbara|His mom]] told him that standing around with a sign makes him look retarded. A female fan cracks up laughing and can't stop'''.
* "Those who can't, teach"
* Chris says he has never even been on a date. Rejects dating suggestions from fans.
* '''Chris was close with Sarah "[[PandaHalo]]" McKenzie, but hasn't heard from her in over two weeks. He heard about the fires and doesn't know if she's still alive. When a fan adds that 108 people were killed in the fires, Chris responds to the entire ordeal with [[Chris and death|"It's OK though, at least I have a good woman who's willing to be by my side at this point"]]'''.
* When pushed, he says he feels remorse for the the victims of the fires and is concerned that [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda]] is dead.
* He asserts that he didn't abandon Sarah for [[Julie]].
* '''A fan says that if [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] isn't alive, Chris should take solace that her perfectly barbecued remains fed the survivors. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|SHUT UP!!!]]'''
* Chris says that he cares about Sarah and Julie equally and wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. A fan asks what he will do to the survivors who ate Sarah. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|"SHUT UP!!!"]] and demands that he be booted.
* Fans reassure Chris that Sarah is probably OK.
* Chris does abominable impersonations of Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks and Hank Hill. '''He sings "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There"'''. He also impersonates Meowth and sings the Team Rocket song.
* [[Clyde]] enters. Chris refuses to answer questions and leaves.

==Transcript==
===Chris proves he is straight===
'''Guy:''' Chris! 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all! ''[echoes]'' 
'''Guy:''' I'll be damned. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all. 
'''Fan:''' Uh, Chris-[gets cut off by another guy] 
'''Chris:''' Uh you know, can't com- it's uh, can't complain. 
'''Other Guy:''' How's construction of the site? 
'''Fan:''' [unintelligible] so Chris 
'''Chris:''' Yeah? 
'''Fan:''' Well I...I need to ask you something. 
'''Chris:''' Yup? 
'''Fan:''' Uh... I put those posters, of the... Playboy and everything in my room, and uh, one of my girlfriends saw it, and she got mad at me for looking at other w-... other girls, and she broke up with me. 
'''Chris:''' Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. It could- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, she's calling me a pervert. I-I don't understand this. 
'''Chris:''' Did you... did you ex- did you try to explain to her about situation between you and that guy? 
'''Fan:''' I... I did, and I don't think she understood. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... well, you should try, you should, uh, s-... try, uh, you should try wr-, you should tr-, uh, do you know her email address? 
[pause] 
'''Julie:''' So, uh Chris- 
'''Fan:''' A-also, wait... also, uh, the friend, I was talking about, he, uh, visited, and [typing noises] he, uh, he went into my room, and didn't even notice the posters. He just s-sat in the middle, he didn't s...sit in any uh, part of the room. 
'''Chris:''' Huh. Hmm. 
'''Fan:''' So, uh... so, yeah, I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend broke up with me, called me a pervert, said that I shouldn't be looking at other girls, I mean... I don't know what to do now. 
'''Chris:''' Well listen, uh, answer my question, do you have her email address? 
'''Fan:''' Umm... yeah, but she won't... she won't answer me anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Hm... ok, hmm. Here's what you can do, uh... Do you know your girlfriend's... any of your girlfriend's [[Gal pal|gal-pals]]? 
'''Fan:''' No. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm... well, you should try to... like wr- you should write out... hmm... hmm... here's an idea. S- Write a letter to her and send it via smail mai-, via snail mail, but don't write the return address. On it. 
'''Fan:''' What should I write? 
'''Chris:''' Just like, you know, like, they, you know, this is... you know, this is... you, uh, you put your name there, and you, it's, and then you would basically explain the situation between you and that guy, and that's why you had the posters up, well that's why you put the posters up. 
'''Fan:''' Well I- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible interruption] 
'''Fan:''' I don't really understand what was the point of the posters in the first place? 
'''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' it's... ''[sigh]'' if he looks at... if he, if he is very interested, if he is, if he was straight, he would uh, look at the women. Very much. 
'''Fan:''' But he didn't even notice them. He didn't notice any of the posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, then I guess he is a [[Homos|homo]]. 
'''Fan:''' W...well, um, he wasn't looking at anything, not even the guy posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Hmm... He's not blind, surely. 
'''Fan:''' So, like, what is he, is he like, uh...I don't know. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either, man. But, you know at the moment I would suggest you, uh, write the- write the letter to your girlfriend, send the mail, don't write your return address on the envelope, and, uh, mail it to her. 
'''Fan:''' Also my mom saw the posters and she got offended, she's like really religious and st- she said that like, uh, you know, lust is a sin or some shit. Oh, like she said, she's like all against the, the uhh, the like, Playboy in my room. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, your- apparently your mom hasn't been [beeps] that open minded that time. So, you know, give her time to reh-cover, she'll uh, she might op- she might open up. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I don't think that was a good idea though, I mean, w-why did- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible interruption] 
'''Fan:''' -you suggest it? 
'''Chris:''' I was trying to see if he, to, I was trying to s-help you figure out if your uh, if your friend was a homo or not. 
'''Fan:''' I know, but, do you have uh, [Fans talking] Playboy posters in your room? 
'''Other Guy:''' [unclear] I'm very forward. 
'''Chris:''' I have uh, poster of some, of uh, I have a poster in my room of uh, some uh, naked girls I got from adamandeve.com as a bonus. 
'''Fan:''' Then, nobody says anything about it? 
'''Chris:''' ''[clears throat]'' Well, I didn't really have too many oppor- too many people in my room. So, it's kind of like in a hard to notice place. 
'''Fan:''' Um, wondering, um, If you showed anyone, wouldn't they be offended? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe, maybe not, [Fan grunts] it just depends on their point of view. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I wouldn't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I hear you there. Uh, just to so just sound clear... Julie? 
'''Julie:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Julie, are you there? 
'''Julie:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Ok, uh, would you be offended if you saw such a poster in my room? 
'''Julie:''' ''[breaks up]'' 
'''Chris:''' Uh, What will, what was that? [Echoes] 
'''Julie''' Yes I would, kind of. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well that's no problem, I can take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, see that's what I'm talking about, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' Well, that's why I asked Julie right now, because I respect her. So, because she said that she would, I will take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I've been thinking, um... 
'''Julie:''' Do you have... [unclear] Chris, I don't think you should look at other woman.[sic] In my opinion. 
'''Chris:''' I see, Julie. Well that's fine. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I...I respect that. 
'''Fan:''' She might get jealous, I mean, that's what happened to my...my girlfriend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that's fine Julie, I respect your, I respect that. Just- 
'''Julie:''' Hey, can I ask you a question? If uh, he's done? 
'''Chris:''' Uh- 
'''Fan:''' Oh, uh, one more thing, um, you know I've been thinking, uh, I don't really think you need, you know, posters and stuff like, 
'''Other Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Fan:''' to prove you're straight, I mean, if you're straight, that's all there is to it i-if, am I right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' I think you're right. 
'''Fan:''' I...I mean, you shouldn't have to prove that you're straight. 
'''Julie:''' You're right. 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I m-mean [line breaks temporarily] Y-you shouldn't have to reassure yours-self. You should just be knowing it, and nothing anybody says, should get very, uh... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it's ve-ah-very-but you see, I have like, I have that [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] in my room, it's just, so that like, you know, for in case I have any-for in case I have any random thoughts, on account really, to tempt me. 
''[unintelligible mix of chatter from most participants trying to get their word in]'' 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I mean, even if they're random thoughts, even if they're random thoughts, if you know you're ''positive'' about it, you shouldn't have to look at anything to make sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, usually. 
'''Guy:''' Okay. Uh, moving on from all this homosexuality, uh, I have one question, uh- [gets cut off by Chris in the background] ...never mind, [fat douchebag?] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, ah, let Julie ask a question, let Julie ask her question. 

===7:08 Julie asks about shotacon===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, I was watching you on the Internet yesterday and, what's a shotacon?[slightly cut off] 
'''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, uh-y, I'm sorry, you got cut off, what was that? 
'''Julie:''' What's a sho-[cuts off again]- 
'''Chris:''' ...What's a...''short''? 
'''Julie:''' Shot-[cuts off third time, pretty obvious she's saying ''shota'']- 
'''Fan:''' Dude, shota. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, shota. 
'''Chris:''' Ssshhhh...shota? 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, S-H-O-A-T-A [sic]. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, it's a word he found online. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, [baby?], yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I never heard of that word. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hmm. 
'''Chris:''' I dunno, if you want to look it up, you can probably find out on an online dictionary... 
''[pause, and a weary sigh from someone other than Chris]'' 
'''Chris:''' I'll-I'll take a look. Hang on. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I know some Japanese and I think I've heard that somewhere, like in a magazine or something. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, it's some of that Japanese shit. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Probably is. Three moments, I'll look it up. 
'''Julie:''' Okay! 
''[pause, Chris's radio is audible]'' 
'''Chris:''' ...Whoops, that was the wrong one. The wrong bookmark. 
'''Fan:''' S-H-O-T-A. 
'''Chris:''' I know, I just get the wrong bookmark for...place I wi-for like...dictionary-type website that I have. 
''[pause, Chris's keyboard taps are audible]'' 
'''Guy:''' Uhhh...Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, now that Julie's done with her question, I also had one. 
'''Fan:''' He has to find what that means first. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, ''I'm sorry''. 
'''Chris:''' Shit, ah shit, I've just found it on Wikipedia. It's, uh, it's a ma-it's a Japanese name. It's a name of a person. In Japan. 
'''Guy:''' Really. 
'''Chris:''' It's a Japanese name. I think it's- 
'''Fan:''' Oh no no, I think you're looking at the wrong thing, it's S- S-H-O-T-A-C-O-N. 
'''Chris:''' S-H- I mean- O-T-A-C-O-N? Shotacon? 
'''Fan:''' It's the same thing, just put C-O-N at the end. 
'''Guy:''' I've read it in a dictionary before, can't remember what it means... 
'''Chris:''' Oh, oh! Okay, here it is, uh..."shotacon, sometimes shortened to shota, is Japanese slang of the phrase 'Shotaro Complex'"...uh..."that describes the attraction to young boys or an individual with such an attraction". 
''[Disgusted reactions heard]'' 
'''Fan:''' Oh my god, what the fuck? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' There's lots of sick people. Y'all are gonna get ricked? 
'''Fan:''' Someone from 4 cent garbage came in and told us to look that up, I didn't-I didn't even want to. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' I guess he's a homo... 
'''Fan:''' Don't worry I banned him already. 
'''Girl:''' Um, Chris, Vivian wants to know if you can like, turn your radio down a bit, it's distracting. 
'''Guy:''' Yes, please turn it down. 
'''Chris:''' I thought that was quiet enough, here. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, no, the lady'll probably pick it up 
'''Girl:''' Alright cool. Merci. 

===10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies===

'''Another Fan:''' Okay, um, I have a question, um, I like to draw—[interrupted by mumbling]—I like to draw comics and such, I mean I want to start up a webcomic. What kind of materials do you use? 
'''Chris:''' Um, like, you mean for drawing? 
'''Another Fan:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Well mostly I just use like, uh, paper without lines, like, computer printer paper you can get in, like, Wal-Mart, for an inexpensive price in multiples. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay- 
'''Chris:''' And then I use like an RES—RSVP-brand pen with the black ink. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh okay, is it like, um, a gel pen or a ballpoint pen or- 
'''Chris:''' It's like a ballpoint, it's like a ballpoint pen. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Fan:''' What do you use to color? 
'''Chris:''' I use Crayola brand markers. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I would like to—I would—I would—I would recommend getting the Super Tip 50-pack which you can also find at the Wal-Mart. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. I-[interrupted by someone else on chat] 
'''Guy:''' That's basically- 
'''Another Fan:''' At Wal-Mart I usually get the 24-color RoseArts. Those are—those do pretty good too. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhh, Vivian, just so you—just so you know, I'm using the microphone that came with Hey You, Pikachu for Nintendo Sisty-Four [sic]. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, yeah no, no offense, but uh, personally I prefer like, colored pencils and shit cause-[Chris mumbling is heard]-they're like easier to erase. Photoshop [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' If you want to use colored pencils that's fine, I'm not, uh, saying that you have to use Crayola markers- 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' Why don't you use colored pencils? They're really good, you should try one on like, at least one page, just try one. One page with just colored pencils. 
'''Fan:''' But um, actually, you can—you can scan your drawings and then color—color them in like, Photoshop or something. [rest of chat murmurs in agreement] That looks really professional, and really good. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I prefer using the markers. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' It's just that I-I mean—I mean I've tried—I mean I've colored with colored pencils before, and I just feel best with using markers. 
'''Julie:''' I have a question, um, uh, the Hey You Pikachu microphone, how does that work on the, you're using that on your computer? Did you say? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's just, yeah, it's like you plug it into uh, into the basic microphone jack. 
'''Julie:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. 
'''Girl:''' Excuse me, I have a nice little Plantronics headset. 
'''Chris:''' Um- 
'''Another Fan:''' Hey Chris can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, hang on a second, uh... uh, Omicron, that's uh, you're basically, uh, you're basically plagiarizing here. You're even using, uh, parts of my original drawings to, uh, make up your so called real ones and, you're just—you're just parroting—you're just plagiarizing- 
'''Fan:''' That's dirty and illegal. 
[Unintelligible mumbling] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you said so yourself, you're being illegal. And plus, and plus I'm- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, isn't combining Sonic with Pikachu the same thing? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, but, but but also, look at this, also I'm looking at this site here, it said, he's claiming the copyright for himself, but he's, but he's not. I mean that's like, but he's, he—he says 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' You need to ban him immediately. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, ban him immediately. 
'''Guy:''' Oh wait wait wait wait wait... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah maybe you should check-[interrupted by loud noise, probably Chris] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well he said that, he's saying that all of Sonichu material is copyrighted by him, when it's clearly not. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah but you use Sonic and Pikachu, and you copyrighted it- 
'''Other Guy:''' He just offered to give you credit-[interrupted by noisy chatter] 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I put, I mean, yeah but, I mean, I'm talking about the—the Omnicron [sic] guy here, that's like, just put this link here. 
'''Fan:''' Oh he offered to give you credit- 
'''Julie:''' Yes that's the same thing you did. 
'''Chris:''' Well no no, he, no- 
'''Fan:''' We decided- 
'''Chris:''' No he's plagiarizing MY Sonichu. 
'''Fan:''' We just decided [unintelligible] 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Julie:''' Chris it's, it's a parody, kinda like Sonichu is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but he—yeah, but he's saying, he said—he—on his front page he says, all Sonichu material- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah but he's, he just offered to change it, so are you okay with that? 
'''Chris:''' By changing it to Sonichu X- 
'''Fan:''' No, he said he'll give you credit instead of claiming it for himself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah I would appreciate that, that would be better, yeah, if... he changed that. 
'''Fan:''' Alright cool. 
'''Guy:''' Problem solved. 

===15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes Julie. 
'''Julie:''' Do you think you could tell everyone about my idea? And, since you're going to do it do you think you could tell everyone so they could look out for it? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, your idea... um, oh oh oh, yeah, just basically a video of me standing up to Clyde and showing him how strong I am, doin' a few kicks for the camera or something- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you should throw some punches, show him what you're made of, you know? 
'''Fan:''' Kick, punch, it's all in the mind ''etc.'' 
'''Chris:''' I basically... I pretty much did that when I... 
'''Guy:''' Let him talk, c'mon! 
'''Chris:''' I pretty much did - already proved my strength when I... ripped that... ''dildo'' in half. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Foreign-Sounding Guy:''' Most dildos come apart for cleaning. 
'''Guy:''' C'mon. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but that thing was screwed together at the seam. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Guy:''' Ok listen to me... 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris... 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' Eh Chris! 
'''Julie:''' ...could you do a like further test of your strength for me? 
'''Chris:''' ''stress sigh'' Yeah... 
'''Julie:''' I wanna see how strong you are please. 
'''Chris:''' ...That's fine, I can do that. 
'''Other Fan:''' I mean that's ok, you showed your strength, but you should show her your moves. Like show her, like, what kind of moves you can do. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, let me tell you a story about how this'll work, ok. 
'''Fan:''' See, my, uh, one of my cousins, uh, this guy at school, kept, y'know, picking on him, calling him gay and stuff, and trying to fight with him, and my cousin told him to sss- y'know, one day, the guy said "Hey man, I'm gonna beat you up" and my cousin said "Look, if I show you some of my moves, I'll prove to you I can kick your ass in a fight" and so my cousin, y'know, he stepped back and, he took, uh, he took Taekwondo, and he did a couple moves, y'know? He just stood there for like five minutes just doing his moves, and, y'know, some punches and kicks and... The guy just backed right off; he didn't even want to talk to him any more. So I think that should work. 
'''Chris:''' All right, well I'll try that. I'll try that. 
'''Guy:''' All right. Sounds good. 
'''Fan:''' Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah.<br?>
'''Fan:''' You try- you always mention about how you're straight but yet in your video about you crushing a dildo, uh, doesn't that kinda like, y'know, not help your cause? 
'''Chris:''' No, it proves I'm straight because... 
'''Fan:''' But you have a dildo. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' I got it free with an order on adameve.com 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' But you ''kept'' it and shit. That ain't cool. 
'''Fan:''' What I don't... Why were there batteries in...? 
'''Julie:''' Oh yeah Chris, why ''were'' there batteries in it? Why did you keep it? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' I mean it wasn't an easy thing for me to sell, right off the bat, or even to make a profit, so... 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' In fact in a way it's a good thing I kept it, cause it allowed me to be able to break it, like I did. 
'''Julie:''' Yes but why would you keep it? 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Julie:''' Why would you keep it? 
'''Chris:''' I woulda saved it for my sweetheart, if she'd wanted it. To use it. 
'''Fan:''' Aaaahhh. 
'''Julie:''' But if I were there wouldn't you prefer the real deal? 
'''Fan:''' Some things that metal just can't replace. 
'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' I heard that. 
'''Fan:''' You didn't use it did you? 
'''Chris:''' No I did not. 
'''Fan:''' Did you just throw all the ones you had away? 
'''Chris:''' I only had that one. And there you go, I ri- there you go, I broke it apart. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you just, like, ''take'' it apart, I mean, it did... 
'''Chris:''' No... 
'''Fan:''' ...seem to come apart, like, screwed on... 
'''Chris:''' No, no I did not take it apart, that thing was glued at the seam. I had to put a lot of strength into breaking it at the middle there. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, but I think, um, showing your moves would be better. 
'''Chris:''' Right. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Clyde would mess with you if you show him you can kick his ass. 
'''Fan:''' Hey, Chris's a muthafuckin' ''gangsta''! 
'''Fan:''' Blap blap. 
'''Fan:''' Yes, Chris will fuck Clyde's shit up. 
(awkward pause) 
'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris, didn't you say you used a - didn't you say you used scissors to break the dildo? 
'''Chris:''' Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I pretty much did have to so I could break that ''glued seam''. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, I thought you broke it with your hands. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well I- yeah well I would have but it was dang glued at the seam, so I clipped straight in with the scissors I had. 
'''Chris:''' It's a pair of Super Shears from [[Cutco]]. 
'''Fan:''' ''(feigning interest)'' Huh. 

===19:50 Chris defends his Rule 34===

'''Fan:''' Yeah, let's talk about something else. Uh, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Whenever the announcement of the adult Sonichu page, when I looked at your gallery, very nice stuff, you know, I see a picture of what looks like you with a Sonichu, uh, medallion. Like, and, who's that one girl, exactly? 
'''Fan:''' Who, [[Megan]]? 
'''Julie:''' I thought it was, like, [[Crystal]], cause of the hair? 
'''Chris:''' No, no, it was - it was originally drawn to be Megan but I censored her eyes to, uh, port- to protect her identity. 
'''Fan:''' Mmmmmm. 
'''Julie:''' ''(laughing)'' That's stupid! (?) That's so silly. 
'''Chris:''' I drew that after I found the ED page in November. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you say that? 
'''Chris:''' In protest against it. 
'''Fan:''' I thought you were going to get rid of it anyway. 
'''Chris:''' I tore up the original drawing, I, in- into squares, and I put in in an envelope. 
'''Fan:''' Why did you upload it? 
'''Fan:''' Why did you do that shit? Like, and... 
'''Fan:''' I understand Rosechu, but, like y'know, why, like, something that's from real life. That's the problem (?) 
'''Chris:''' It's not necessarily from real life, it depends on you inter- it depends on your interpretation, I mean it's hardly- I mean, '''most women have long brown hair, and the eyes are censored''', so... 
(laughter) 
'''Fan:''' ''Most'' women?!? 
'''Fan:''' I remember in that one video you were saying it was Megan. 
'''Chris:''' Because it broke, because it end up, because it the end it broke up my friend - broke up my friendship eve, my uh, friendship with Megan. 
'''Julie:''' Um, can I ask you a question? In the third picture, with [[Angelica Rosechu]], what is... what's happening, is... God... doing...? 
'''Chris:''' Nope. She's masturbating. And she's enjoying it. 
'''Julie:''' But she has no hands there. How's she doing it? 
'''Fan:''' She's ''enjoying'' it. 
'''Chris:''' But she does... She does... 
'''Julie:''' Yeah but how's she doing it? She doesn't have her hands there. 
'''Chris:''' She does have her hands, she's... ''(stress sigh)'' She's... like most women would be able to do the same thing. 
'''Fan:''' I thing it's the angle, Julie. I think it's the angle you were looking at it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah plus uh, the picture wasn't, uh, very - wasn't as clear as, like, you know, I would have liked to have had it, uh, I mean, I had that file for a while, and it... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah some of those are kinda blurry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, some deg- some degraded. 
'''Julie:''' ? a good question, have you drawn anything... of... have you drawn anything like that with me? Cause I would actually like to see, if you did. If so, could you, and let me see? I, uh, sorry, that's very rude to ask. 
'''Chris:''' Um, I'm sorry, let me answer this guy. Yeah, well, I made a retraction video later saying that I- I disowned that address. 
'''Fan:''' Ah, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Just after that guy hacked into it and changed to it to suck. And as such. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm gonna take a look at that... My Youtube... 
'''Fan:''' I like this song. 
'''Chris:''' What song? 
'''Fan:''' The song that's playing in the background of, uh. 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, what do you think of, uh, what do you think of that guy who advertises products, Billy Mays? What do you think of him? 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... Billy... Oh! Yeah he's an ok guy, I watched him on Home Improvement. 
'''Fan:''' Billy Mays? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... 
'''Fan:''' No, that was another guy on Home Improvement, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' No that was the same guy. That was the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Really?!? Let's look up. IMDB, go. ''(sound of typing)'' 
'''Chris:''' Believe me, it's the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, I really enjoyed your, um, adult, uh, section of the site. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... okey dokey, very good. Aaahh, trying to figure out how to update the link on this thing here. Oh, maybe under here. Oh there it is, thank God (?), update right now. 
'''Fan:''' ''(singing)'' You spin me right round baby, right round... 
'''Other fan:''' (joining in) Like a record baby, right round round round 
'''Fan:''' It's a classic, I can't help in man. 
'''Chris:''' There you are, updated. It's finally fixed. 
'''Guy:''' Actually that was Richard Karn on Home Improvement, not Billy Mays. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well my mistake, I mean the guy had the beard and uhh... 
'''Guy:''' Oh yeah I can understand. 
'''Chris:''' And the voice sounds- and the voice sounds the same... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. They sound the same. 
'''Guy:''' I guess. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' There's a matter of interpretation apparently I misinterpreted so I will admit that I was wrong. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah see we all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' (unintelligible babble or singing) 
'''Fan:''' Have you gotten any fan art submissions or notable? For the uh- webpage? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I got one today... It's like mostly a drawing of that uh that uh- of the fan herself. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' -got in the snail mail today. 
'''Guy:''' -Sunday. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Hmmmm... 
'''Guy:''' What are you doing for this Valentine's day Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhm... I'm sorry, what was that question? 
'''Guy:''' What will you be doing this year on Valentine's day? 
'''Chris:''' Hm depends... 
'''Guy:''' Ahhh, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. 
Fan: Surely a man of such magnitude as yourself are going to be doing something important, aren't you? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Guy:''' Magnitude? Way to choose the words buddy. 
'''Other guy:''' Vocabulary talent. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, cause I don't have Julie over here yet. 
(Reactions of OHs and AHs) 
'''Chris:''' If she was here... 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) -play games. 
'''Chris:''' Or we could just uh... talk. 
'''Woman:''' Ehehehehe. Maybe... uh... why no redheads? 
'''Other Woman:''' Yeah? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I was trying to think about that when the other guy asked that question. Uh... I was trying to think up that unh... mmmm... Uhhhh, redheads just don't be very- tract me so much. 
Several: Uh, ah. 
'''Chris:''' It's- it's- a- pi- a possibility that they're dyed. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmmmmm... 
'''Chris:''' But yeah y'know natural redheads enh, yeah, just don't really turn me on as much. 
'''Woman:''' I see... 
'''Fan:''' Have you thought about girls with um, highlights? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... (pause) aaahhhh... what turns me on hhh- (inhales) (pause) obviously the women. 
'''Man:''' Gotta have the women. (?) 
'''Guy''': What about piercings or tattoo? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, neither of those. 
(Pause) 
'''Chris:''' Ehhhh- 
'''Guy:''' Hey (unintelligible) 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris! How bout like non-orange hair, not like... no, never mind. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... oh... okay... hmmm... 
'''Julie:''' Wait Chris! How do you feel about blue hair? 
'''Chris:''' Blue hair's okay, otherwise I wouldna- Otherwise I wouldn't've liked Sailor Mercury. 
'''British? guy:''' That is true, she does have blue hair. 
'''Guy:''' She's a very fine character. There is no way to deny it. 
'''Black guy:''' Blue hair is OFF DA HOOK!!! 

===28:35 Chris impersonates various cartoon characters===

'''British??? guy:''' Doesn't Marge Simpson have blue hair as well? 
'''Chris:''' (in some kind of insane voice) Oh yeah! Marge Simpson has blue hair and it's as tall as the Empire State building!!! 
(Some HMMs UHs and UMs follow) 
'''Julie:''' Yo Chris!! Can you do some impersonations for us? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Oh we'd love to hear that! 
'''Chris:''' I just did Marge Simpson. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah you're really talented. 
'''British??? Guy:''' Yeah. 
(Several people talking at once) 
'''Julie:''' -they're really good. 
'''Guy:''' Do another SimpsonsChris, how about Comic Book Guy? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Mmmmhmmm... 
'''Chris:''' Oh I'm very indeed. Oh aren't we all promiscuous and whatnot. I like Batman and Robin, oh look! Stan Marsh has come into the thing again - I forget that guy's name, that guy who did the Marvel comics. 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Julie:''' Stan Lee. (Pause) Chris do your Donald Duck impression. 
'''Chris:''' Everybody have fun (incoherent and scary quacking) 
'''Several:''' (laughter) 
'''Guy:''' Chris you should work for Disney. 
'''Fan:''' That's good Chris. 
'''Guy:''' Have you ever considered being a voice actor? 
'''Chris:''' Errrrrp... possibly, I'm not sure. 
'''Fan:''' (incoherent, cut off by Chris) 
'''Chris:''' (incoherent... another cartoon voice) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris, you're a Christian, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Guy:''' I was just wondering- 
'''Chris:''' Ahm actu- 
'''Guy:''' -do you just- 
'''Chris:''' I'm actually a Methodist church. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome, I was just wondering: Do you think AIDS was sent by god to kill the homos or do you think that it's just an accident or something man-made? 
'''Chris:''' The thou- the thought never occurred to me... thought never occurred to me. 
'''Other guy:''' can you do an impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger? 
'''Guy:''' Hold- the question... 
'''Fan:''' Let Chris answer the question. 
'''Chris:''' The thought- the thought never occurred to me about what you just said about the AIDS there mmmm... but y'know, it's a possibility and I will not agree nor disagree with it. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I was just wondering I mean, I've had that discussion with some of my Christian friends. I just wanted to get your opinion, thank you. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Mmhhh... 
'''Julie:''' I think (clears throat) I think Omicron has a point and you did tell me you went to a methodist church didn't you? So that's- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well th- well my Methodist church is uh more loose on- is not as strict on uh- on uh sex. 
'''Julie:''' Chris I don't know- I don't know that much about religion in the States but I don't think there is a looser Meth- Methodist church. God makes the rules Omicron says. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, hmmm... 
'''Guy:''' Well, you know personally I think that the government made AIDS to kill off all the brothers. 
'''Fan:''' Whoa, whoa... That's what the blacks always say. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. (pause) I'm going to agree, that sounds like something that uh... well, a black guy would say. 
'''Guy:''' So your church is kinda of uh- they let you do- their kinda loose on the whole moral restrictions? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... (pause) uhhh... that's... what's the question? 
'''Guy:''' Your church they- you said they're kind of more uh- y'know they're less strict on the whole moral thing, like, as far as sexuality goes? Right? 
'''Chris:''' -ah basically. 
'''Guy:''' But y'know, uhh, I thought you're supposed to listen to the Bible or whatever not, y'know, not necessarily- no, never mind. 
(Pause) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris- 
'''Other guy:''' (interrupts) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, there's also a uh, there's also a- think about this uh, if you uh- if you- if you were a think uh- you have to find for yourself a good meaning behind uh- good meaning behind watching pornography to uh- like teach how it- how to do this and that when you actually get around to doing it... 
'''Guy:''' That's all ??? 
'''Chris:''' That's all's considered education for yourself. 
'''Guy:''' How is that realistic at all? 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, it's uh- not a really good thing to learn from, trust me. 
'''Chris:''' It can be done before marriage as well as long as me and my sweetheart really love each other very much. 
'''Fan:''' But not in Christianity. 
'''Guy:''' But all I'm saying is y'know, porn is completely, completely unre- unrealistic I mean you can't really learn anything from it. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' It gives- it gives you enough ideas. 
'''Julie:''' (unclear) 
'''Other guy:''' (incoherent) porn. 
'''Guy:''' When you actually have sex, it's nothing like porn. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Maybe not like you, you not gonna do it- 
'''Accented woman:''' You can't do it immediately- immediately anal sex cause most women are not very happy with anal sex and also... 
'''Guy:''' Okay, shut up 
'''Accented woman:''' -and also weird- 
'''Guy:''' Shut up. 
'''Accented woman:''' Yes. 
'''Guy:''' And... that wasn't cool, like... 
'''Fan:''' That was uncalled for... 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, like, suthin' a BLACK MAN would say... 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Other guy:''' That's racist man... 
'''Chris:''' Well, somebody said it on here first before I did. 
'''Guy:''' Does that make it ok? 
'''Julie:''' Chris, I think he's trying to make it clear that- I dunno. 
'''Chris:''' I typically agree with that guy. 
(pause) 
'''Julie:''' So nothing g- it doesn't make it ok. 
(incoherent)
'''Chris:''' (babbling) I wi- I'm sorry, I take it back. 
(pause) 
(unclear) 
'''Guy:''' Guys can we get back to Sonichu, Please? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah this is getting ridiculous. 
'''Guy:''' (unclear) -Sonichu actually. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Anyway, my question is that: why does Sonichu not wear clothes while Rosechu and the other Rosechus do wear clothes? And underwear? 
'''Chris:''' Aaaaaaaaaamp... It's like uh- it's basically a cartoon and it doesn't really matter, it's like... mm... think about this: Most cartoon characters wear at least one article of clothing. At least one article. And uh- it's like Yogi Bear who just wears a necktie and a hat. 

'''(From 35.14)''' 

'''Other Guy:''' I think it would be cool if all the Sonichus and Rosechus got together and they and- they all formed a big team and they had special uniforms or something, kinda like the X-men. 
'''Fan:''' Or Power Rangers. 
'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, I don't do- I don't do well- I'm not in- no uniforms. It's a uniform and other Sonichus and Rosechus. 
'''Guy:''' I'm just wondering if you'd do another impression: What does Blachu sound like? Uh, Black Sonichu? Or Blake? 
'''Chris:''' Eeeeuuunh... Eh... ahhhh... 
'''British guy:''' Can you imitate it? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... I'm not sure... uhhhhm... 
'''Guy:''' Like does he sound black? 
'''Chris:''' Possibly, but I'm not certain. I'm not leaning towards it. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I'd like to hear it, but if you don't want... 
'''Chris:''' I just never- I just never really thought about that. I'd say that he possibly sounds similar to uh, y'know Shadow the hedgehog. But he could possibly sound, black. He could. Don't quote me on it. 
'''Guy:''' All right, I was just wondering if you'd do his voice but... 
'''Black guy:''' Hey why does the BAD guy gotta be black? 
'''Chris:''' I never said the bad guy "has to" be black. (pause) I mean, look at the- the range of villanies, I mean there's black and whites and uh... male females. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I noticed that uh- Silvana's also... black lookin'. 
'''Chris:''' I just decided to color her black because she was born- she came from outer space from a black egg, which was the- which came out of the rainbow. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah, I was also wonderin' about that like- 
'''Chris:''' I- I- I- 
'''Black guy:''' If Silvana came out of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yes it's- 
'''Black guy:''' Why would she be black? 
'''Chris:''' (babbling) 
'''Black guy:''' I mean like black ain't part of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' It's like the black sheep of the family. Y'know you put all the colors together and it does become black. 
(unintelligible reactions) 
'''Guy:''' -like a brownish- 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) is a (unintelligible) color. 
'''Fan:''' Maybe it's because she's from space and there's not a lot of light in space and it's dark or something. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah that- a uh yeah- that's one of the- 
'''Other guy:''' Hmmm. 
'''Woman:''' Uhm, did you look at the link of my friend? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, ummmm... 
'''Woman:''' Yeah, since you love blue hair. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Uh- no I haven't looked at it and I don't wanna make Julie feel jealous if I did- if I went and did. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Julie would mind. 
'''Woman:''' Uhhh... 
'''Fan:''' You look at pornography don't you? 
'''Woman:''' (mumble) 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' No, that- that was two syllables "Rose-chu". You don't- don't add- don't say the "e" it's just "Rosechu". 
'''Fan:''' Yeah you went over this last chat. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:'''(I don't know, it sounds like "narrator") 
'''Other guy:''' Uh. 
'''Chris:''' (sounds like he says "narrator" again) 
'''Other guy:''' Uh... I was just- 
'''Chris:''' No, well, obviously the uh- the narrator who did those audio books was incorrect. Specially since I never gave that person the approval to do the audiobooks. 
'''Fan:''' I think it's just a fan project and I think he- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Fan:''' and I think he might have one of the West coast dialects. I know that the South they say y'all but over here- 
'''Chris:''' Well obviously he lied- 
'''Fan:''' -different. I'd be proud if they made one of my projects into an audiobook though. That means that there are a lot of fans out there that really like it. 
'''Other guy:''' Ay. 
'''Fan:''' They're not selling to try and make any money off it. They're not trying to rip you off. They always made sure- they always narrate the first page by saying "Christian Weston Chandler" so they're not trying to cheat you or anything. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' The people know you're making it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I- I hear that. I just, apparently they misin- misinterpreted the (audio breaks up) name Rosechu. Or mispronounced it. Misinterpreted, mispronounce- fairly the same thing in that situation... possibly. To answer that question... possibly. 
'''Guy:''' Uh, Vivian said that the audiobooks made Sonichu way popular that- than you could ever ever do on your own. 
'''Chris:''' Well, I will not disagree with the statement. And I appreciate her help. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. Would you be offended if a fan wrote a fanfiction about Sonichu? 
'''Chris:''' Faaanfiction... if it's- if it's not demeaning or makes them look stupid. Then it's fine- it's fine. (pause) Like I did mind when, shoot, what's his name? That guy... uhhhh... that guy that the uhhhh... did the animations, on his computer. 
'''British guy:''' You did mind or you didn't? 
'''Guy:''' Animations??? 
'''Fan:''' I think I know what he's talking about. Are you talking about the um... 

(background noise begins) 
''Background voice:'' Well the original play was a Greek play. Where they're all y'know... Greeks... and crazy stuff happens and they're all runnin' around in togas. So if you ever wanna see the movie "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" it was a classic and it had some real classic people from the 50s and 60s in it. Kinda like "It's a MAD MAD MAD MAD World". Sort of a classic old school movie from funny old school world. First color movie type thing. But that'll be a high school play. You'll wanna see that. You might actually enjoy it. (unintelligible) 
(inaudible response) 
''Background voice:'' You never know that might be fun to do. Well I guess that wouldn't work on the weekend then... you gotta... 

'''(FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, IT APPEARS THAT THERE WAS SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEM THAT CAUSED ANOTHER MUMBLE CHANNEL TO BE RECORDED WHILE THE CONVERSATION WITH CHRIS BECAME BARELY AUDIBLE BACKGROUND NOISE. INSTEAD ALL THAT CAN BE HEARD IS SOME BUTTFACE YAMMERING ABOUT FILMS AND TELEVISION SHOWS. I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP TRANSCRIBING IT. CHRIS IS STILL TALKING AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS, BUT NOTHING CAN BE UNDERSTOOD OVER THESE GUYS.)''' 

'''(AT 42.56 THE AUDIO SUDDENLY RESUMES NORMALLY)''' 

'''Unknown person:''' Uh you- 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I uh- noticed he's another BLACK villain. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah in real life he was black. Without meaning any offense to the uh- black guy in general, cause you've noticed, among the Jerkops there's uh- we got black's and white's, males and females. 
(pause) 
(several people jump in at once) 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) -you've never drawn a female officer before. 
'''Chris:''' Well y'know uhhh... uhhh, comic book number 7, near the end. Near the end of the time travel episode. Uhh, I have no opinion about what Obama's doing cause I don't watch the news. 
Accented woman: But you voted for him, didn't you? 
'''Chris:''' Yes I voted for him because I saw myself in him when I com- when I saw both the documentaries and downloaded them for the Playstation Network between Obama and McCain. I mean voted for a person I saw more of myself of- 
Accented woman: You usually vote for someone based on their political leanings, not how you view them. As I were Republican, I voted for John McCain. Not because I liked him but because I- he had the same political views as me. 
'''Chris:''' Well, basi- basically I'm a moderate. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh, I see. Um, I was wondering. I was reading opinions: do you agree with his financial bailouts? 
'''Chris:''' Hm, I don't even know what it is. So I can't disagree or agree. 
'''Other guy:''' Well, to make it short um, it's about uh- the government- President Obama is planning to uh- a new one- (cuts out) 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry what? 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' You got cut off there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Uhh, ok, we lost him. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yo, Chris, uh, do you, you didn't just vote for Obama cause he was black, did you? 
'''Chris:''' No, I did not vote for him because he was black. I voted for him cause I saw myse- because I saw myself in him. In like, similar lifestyles. And I saw that he was a good man, I mean after all, com- I saw- I saw I watched both of the A&E documentaries, before I can- before I knew who I would vote for. 

'''(From 45.29)''' 

'''Julie:''' Chris:, Chris what did you see in him that you say in your self? 
'''Chris:''' Like for one thing we were like outcasts, at least one point in our lives. 
'''Black man:''' Wait, wait hold up earlier you said that you thought he would probably paint the white house black. 
'''Chris:''' Oh oh that was my father’s joke he said that. 
'''???:''' Is your father a racist? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but you see I drew that for him before I saw the documentaries so respectfully withdrew that comic page. 
'''???:''' does your father hate black people. 
'''Chris:''' Not necessarily but it’s just how my father just how my father that does not reflect in any way that’s how he felt (annoying ass noise in the background) 
'''Black man:''' Man that racist. 
'''??? :''' Hey Chris I so the ahh saw the Sonichu and Rosechu love sack that you put up and I thought if was pretty cool for (you adult friends?) I just had a question though: do you have any plans in the comic to have romance between you and one of the hedgehogs I mean- 
'''Chris:''' (Yelling) No no no 
'''???:''' -we would like to see that. 
'''???:''' I mean is was just wondering because there are fans how would like to see that. 
'''???:''' Now- now that you answered the his question my kind of relates to his what are your thoughts on inter racial breeding and marriages? 
'''Chris:''' I would not agree of disagree with them but in my personal preference I would fell- I would feel more comfortable in having a full relationship with a white woman but I am willing- am still willing to be friends and acquaintances and give and have respect for the black women as well. 
'''???:''' What about Asians like Japanese? 
'''Chris:''' I’m ok with them as well (yelling) a once. 
'''???:''' So would you get married with a Japanese woman? 
'''Chris:''' hhhmmmm I would have, yes. 
'''???:''' (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' but I’m giving Julie to opportunity here. 
'''Clyde''': Julie’s a lucky woman. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris, I was just wondering, is Silvana gonna become one of the good guys, like- like Black Sonichu did before? 
'''Chris:''' There’s a possibility but I have not given that a co- I have not confirmed that yet. 
'''???:''' Uh, is she gonna lose the male sexual parts and become a full-fledged woman? 
'''Chris:''' Hhhmmm possibly but I haven’t given that- I haven't given that thought either. 
'''???:''' Also um I was reading (?Phillip’s?) question, Chris what did you want to be when you were little? 
'''Chris:''' I don’t remember, I do not remember. I’m just making it as I go basically. 
'''???:''' is there ever gonna be like uh, an end to your sonichu series like a finale? 
'''Chris:''' hmmmm I don’t know, probably would not. 
'''???:''' Oh so it keeps going and going? 
???: You ever consider making comic about the history of CWCville? 
'''Chris:''' Hhmmmm an episode dedicated towards that possibility. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris are you going to keep the name changes that you made or are you going back to the original names? 
'''Chris:''' Ahhh ya I’m keeping the name changes. 
'''???:''' But you know umm Nintendo was umm, y'know, they sent you a letter you never really talk about it further. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but at least- at least- the hel- they use to benefit me for the fact that uh allowed me to fix noting in that sense so I couldn’t be sued by such people in that sense. 

'''(From 50 min)''' 

(scattered reactions) 
'''Chris:''' So the name changes were good. 
'''Guy:''' So uh, Chris I was wondering if uh Mary- Mary Lee Walsh Or I guess the new name: Ryam Sla- I don't know- 
'''Chris:''' Sla-weel. 
'''Guy:''' Slaweel, thank you. Uhm, if she were to use her magic to curse Rosechu with a penis, would Soni- what- wou- would that test the relationship between Sonichu and her? While they were fighting the battle to have it removed, I'm just curious. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh... Firstly uh, she does not- she does not have the power ch- to do that. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I just thought you know, remember you did the story about 4-cent-garbage and drawing all the- the picture and- 
'''Chris:''' Ah you what, that's one- that's one thing: drawing them, but not actually putting them on the character. 
'''Guy:''' Cause I think that would be like an epic story though, like to actually have a quest- 
Fan: I'll second that. 
'''Guy:''' -to go to have that penis removed from Rosechu. I mean it's a test of romance between her and Sonichu. 
(muttering) 
'''Guy:''' And when that prevails and the penis is removed and everybody- everybody lives happily ever after. Y'know that would be awesome. 
'''Chris:''' Unnnnnnnh, I dunno I have to- I dunno I have to think about that. 
'''Fan:''' It is a really good idea. I like it. 
'''Woman:''' I do too. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah, that's good. 
Other fan: It could show just how much Rosechu means to Sonichu. 
'''Chris:''' Well I'll- I'll consider it but I'm not making any promises. 
'''Guy:''' We understand. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
(several talking at once) 
'''Guy:''' -decided on that subject? 
'''Chris:''' I'm working on it. 
'''Guy:''' If you actually decide to go forward with that story? Do you think maybe- maybe you could give her a talking penis? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid!!! 
(laughter from various people) 
(unintelligible responses) 
'''Fan:''' Ok, I think- I think we've talked enough about that one guys. 
'''Other guy:''' I have a question that doesn't involve penises. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other guy:''' Anyway, my question is since we've been hearing lot of vicious lies and slander about this, could you confirm exactly why you've been fired from your job at Wendy's Chris? Cause we've been hearing all sorts of- of crazy things and we wanna know the truth. 
'''Chris:''' Mmmmmmmm... well, firstly, what have you heard? 
'''Other guy:'''Well we heard that uh you... we've heard so many things like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... also that- also that is correct but I did not scare the child. The child was tired, I was only trying ta- I was only trying to make the child feel better. That's a little amusement. But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired. 
'''Other guy:''' So you didn't help them cut their food and... yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I did help them- help them get their food to- by giving them uhh, by giving them bags and a top for their baked potato boat. 
'''Guy:''' Chris, when will um, the pictures of Zapina, appear on the um, 18 plus page? 
'''Chris:''' Well that was a deleted scene! That was a deleted scene. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Why was it deleted? 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Well, basically, hhh... y'c- y'cant' really have it if you don't have Rosechu working to take the- working to take the pictures of herself up in the bathroom. Cause like can't have one without the other. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaahhh... 
(pause) 
'''Woman:''' I don't know if this is a good question but there's something I wonder about that- we kind of have this DVD you made and... y'know, we never unfortunately got... but I'm curious um... do you ever plan to release it? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe. 
'''Other guy:''' I'd pay money for that, I think everyone else here would probably pay money for it too. 
'''Fan:''' Indeed. 
(pause) 
'''Other fan:''' (breaking up) I wanna ask a question. 
'''Guy:''' I hear it's also on YouTube. 
'''Fan:''' Chris do you know that you've influenced the rap/hip hop community? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmh... uh. 
'''Fan:''' I just wanted to mention that because I saw some YouTube videos and it- and- and from some underground hip hop artists such as Immortal Technique and they've sampled some of your voice audio complaining about your struggles with uhm... with the school board, with the security guards and they were- they felt so empowered that they actually took those words and mad'em into a very powerful rap song. How does that- how is your reaction to that? 
'''Chris:''' Enhhhh... basically I have not watched those videos so... I don't have an opinion. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I will provide you a link to that, hold on a moment. 
'''Chris:''' Oh that's ok, actually I uh, did sample one. The one where they basically played the parody from "Can't touch this". 
'''Fan:''' No, no, trust me it's waaay more serious than that. 
'''Chris:''' Well I still haven't heard of- heard of what you're talking about. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other fan:''' Nevermind. 
(rustling and moving noises) 
'''Guy:''' Can you do an impression of MC Hammer? 
(more clicking and rustling) 
'''Chris:''' Can't touch this do do do doo do dooo Can't touch this! Do do do dooo do do do... can't touch this. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome. 
'''Other fan:''' That was- heheheh. 
'''Other guy:''' Awesome. 
'''Guy:''' Can you- can you do Dr. Nick Riviera from the Simpsons? 
'''Chris:''' HIIII EVERYBODY! 
'''Other fan:''' Hello Christian Chandler. 
'''Other fan:''' Hi Chris. 
'''Other guy:''' Hi Christian Chandler. 
'''Chris:''' Well that should say Dr. Nick cause that's who I'm imitatin'. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
'''???:''' That uh- 
'''???:''' HELLOOO EV'RYBODY!!!! 
'''Guy:''' Well that- 
'''Chris:''' Hi Dr. Nick! 
'''Fan:''' Thank you, I love the Simpsons. 
'''Guy:''' Can you do... Peter from Family Guy? 
'''Chris:''' Enhenhenhenh... Hey Lois! Look at me! I'm just (unclear) you nose, and I'm eatin' your nose. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh that's dead on. 
'''Woman:''' Oh would you- Omicron's been interested in tis- would you actually make a documentary like- like your other DVD but make your daily life? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... I'm... yeah I might but uh... I'm not su- I'm not sure bout it at the moment. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaaaaaaanh... 
'''Guy:''' Chris can you do Mario? You know from Super Mario? 
'''Chris:''' Hay paisano! How you doin' mistah hedgehog! 
'''Guy:''' That's very good. 
'''Chris:''' And then Sonic- then Sonic would say "what?!?" 
(giggling) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris do you have any plans to make a video of yourself taking a dump on a Hexbox? 
'''Chris:''' No! That's gross. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah that was pretty sick right there. 
'''Accented woman:''' Let's ban him. 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's bad enough I cut in half with an axe. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' and one of the elevator jokes... 
'''Other fan:''' Oh we remember that, that was a classic. 
'''Chris:''' And I earned a trophy for that. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmm... 
'''British guy:''' Yeah, I remember that, it was destroying a Hexbox by cutting it in half if I remember... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' If I were to draw nude Zapina fanart, uhm, would you put them on the site? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... uhh, your- you uh- free to draw them at your- at your own- own preference, but I will not be- I will not put it on the website because- cause- because I will not want to break any laws of having underage portrayals- portrayals of underage nudity. 
'''Fan:''' Isn't Dot a child? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry... what? 
'''Fan:''' Dot, from Animaniacs. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) 
'''British guy:''' So-uh- uhm- I think I looked up somewhere that um, drawings do not count, they're just lines on paper not like real pictures that are horrible. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah I believe- 
'''Chris:''' Draw- 
'''Fan:''' (cut off) 
'''Other guy:''' Those illustrations do not count as child pornography. Because with drawing it's art- it's artistic merit. 
'''Chris:''' Welll... I dunno, I guess it depends I have to- but- y'know you could do the drawing and I'll think- I'll consider it. 
(typing noises) 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, would it be possible to get any pictures of Sonichu having anal sex with Rosechu? 
(pause... thumps and feedback) 
'''Chris:''' I'm considering that but... 
'''Accented woman''' Who keeps letting this person in? You are very offensive. 
'''Fan:''' -and and, if you draw those, do you think that Rosechu would actually clean Sonichu's penis off with her mouth (laugh) w-when they're done? 
'''Chris:''' Unnnhh... 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Nah, no, I don't think so, I think- I think- I think it would be unh- yeah w-wash it off with a washcloth. 
'''Fan:''' Do you think then, at that point then they would sell the washcloth on eBay? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid! 
(people talking over each other) 
'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no more potty humor, all right? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah alright, okay 
'''Fan:''' Unrelated to party humor, I want to ask that in your Springbreak uhh Issue of Sonichu you had an introduction of a, of new character, the [[Yawning Squirtle|squirtle]] and I wanna ask 
'''Chris:''' (interrupting) No, that's, no, no, no, that's not just a character, I was, I was not introducing a new character, I was just doing like a poster thing for a bubble speak under one, I thought I just draw some water type pokemon un-in there 
'''Fan''': I understand but the thing is there is huge cult following for that character and I strongly suggest that you should capalize on that and, and make him to a main character 
'''Chris:''' Eh... No, I don't think so 
'''Fan''': Yeah 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's just sleeping Squirtle work- waking up! 
'''Fan''': I don't know, people just thought he was really cute and yawning Squirtle, I don't know, I heard someone say, man wouldn't it be great if he would be that [[Autistic|dopey]] sidekick that he'd come and they'd be like, like, he'd come in and say something silly after someone did something and they would be like "Squirtle"! 
People laughing and talking over each other 
'''Julie:''' Um... 
???: Yo, it makes you *unintelligible* (Chris and someone talk over another) 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes Julie? 
'''Julie:''' I'm asking you about... Hm... Never mind, I lost my train of thought. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' That's okay. These guys made me lose a train of thought as well. Doesn't multiple inputs. 
'''Fan''': Yes, kinda lotta control here. I might- I may have to... never mind 
Silence 
'''Fan''': I never lose my train of thought because I have a GPS tracking system on it. 
Laughter 
'''Fan''': Oh, that was a good joke. (chuckle) 
'''Fan''': Yeah 
'''Fan''': Chris, could you tell us a joke right now. Just any joke. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, here is a fuck- here is a funny- here is a funny mind scream. Funny rhyme scheme... not to be taken literally: 
On your Game Boy Advance SP 
create 'yer MII 
den play it on WII 
with your PSP 
hooked to your PS3 
cause it's fun 
see? 
And never ff, and never play a [[Hex Box]] 360 
Because it's stupid and you're not a dummy (in childlike voice) 
Mock laughter 
'''Fan''': That is really good.
'''Fan''': Chris is that something you made up? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I made that up. 
'''Alucard''': Chris, Chris, can I write that down and tribute to quote you that? Oh man, that's good 
'''Chris:''' (unintelligible) So you mean to type it up and you quote me on the rhyme scheme? 
'''Alucard''': Yeah, I'd like that. I've been thinking about making a quote book like a mini Chris quote book like something you could open and have a cool line to say when you're on a party and you're like right things. 
People talking over Chris and Alucard 
'''Chris:''' Alright, well I'm typing it up for Alucard, so... 
'''Alucard''': Thank you. 
'''Julie:''' Chris, can we hear one more? 
'''Chris:''' Okay well here, okay um, okay here is an [[Christian's sex joke|adult joke]] I once come up with a long time ago. 
'''Fan''': This is going to be good! 
'''Chris:''' Alright- Alright there's this married couple, Bob and Jane, and they've been- they were looking forward to having children. So, one night, Bob comes home from work, and uh Jane says, "Hi, you had a good day, dear?" And he sa- and she sa-- he says, "Nah, it's been a long day, darling" And she said, "Well, it's okay, why don't we go upstairs, and we'll have some Breakfast." And he says, "Breakfast, at Nine p.m.?" And she says, "Sure, you bring the MILK, and I'll get an EGG." 
'''Fan''': Yo, I heard that before, man. 
'''Chris:''' And then later, they had a boy and a girl, Junior Bacon and Orange Juice. All Part of a Balanced Breakfast. 
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif]] 
Perplexed silence

'''Fan''': Hey, Chris, how do you solve a Mexican tank? 
'''Chris:''' Stand in front of it? 
'''Fan''': No, man, shoot the guys pushing at it. 
Laughter 
'''Fans''': Oh that's a good one. 
'''Other fan:''' I got one. 
'''Other fan:''' How do you get a bunch of [[Niggos|blacks]] in a car? 
'''Chris:''' I don't know. 
'''Other fan:''' Throw some chicken in. 
'''Other fan:''' How do you get them out of the car? 
'''Other fan:''' Job application. 
'''Fans''': (laughter) 
'''Fan''': What do you call a beach of black people buried up to their necks? 
'''Fan''': Afro-turf. 
'''Fans''': (laughter) 
'''Fan''': Oh, I came up with one. 
'''Fan''': Alright, what's the difference between a black man and a pizza? 
'''Fan''': A pizza can feed a family of four. 
'''Another fan''': How do you stop black people from jumping on a bed? 
'''Chris:''' Alright, enough racist jokes. 
'''Another fan''': Put velcro on the ceiling. 
'''Chris:''' Enough, enough black jokes. 
'''Fan''': Okay, uh Chris. 
'''Other fan''': Sorry 
'''Fan''': I showed by friend that over 18 site, and he said, that he um, he um, you know he, he masturbated to it. Does that make you feel (interrupted) 
'''Chris:''' That's good, that's basically the reaction I would be going for. Among the male ca... among the male population, being attracted to the women. 
'''Fan''': But those are your drawings, it's like, I think he's gay now. I mean, you're a guy and you drew those. 
'''Chris:''' I'm drawing, I'm drawing female characters. 
'''Fan''': Yah, but it's drawn by you and you're, like, I don't know. It's kind of awkward for me. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. 
'''Other fan''': Hey Chris, I actually need to thank you, the pictures on that site, it looked like the camera was inside Sonichu's penis when Rosechu was giving him a blowjob. That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I've always wanted to have a camera in my penis so that I could see that if I ever got a blowjob, that would be awesome, I just wanted to say thank you very much for that perspective. It's the first time I've ever seen it. 
'''Fan''': There's a question here on the site, oh sorry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well I see it... no I don't basically masturbate to my own drawings. 
'''Fan''': But you're okay if other people do, right? Even guys? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
'''Fan''': You're okay if other people, you know, masturbate to your drawings? Even if they're guys, right? 
'''Chris:''' If the guys are masturbating to the female drawings, then yes, that's fine. 
'''Fan''': I just thought it was kind of awkward, but maybe I'm seeing it a different way. 
'''Chris:''' I doubt that, uh, having a whole bunch of drawings of naked female characters can be misinterpreted as something else. 
'''Another fan''': Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes? 
'''Another fan''': Can I to ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Another fan''': One time, a friend and I were looking at porn together, and we masturbated together, but the porn was straight, ordinary porn. Is this gay? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, where you looking at naked women? 
'''Another fan''': Yes, but we were in the same room, masturbating. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, if you both were thinking about the naked women you were looking at, then I would definitely say you both are straight, cuss you're not thinking about each other, you're thinking about the women. 
'''Another fan''': Right. 
'''Fan''': Would you do that with someone? 
'''Another fan''': I'm relieved. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh. 
'''Fan''': Man, nigger you gay. 
'''Other fan''': Shut up. Would you do that with someone? Like a guy? 
'''Chris:''' No, no I'd rather not. 
'''Fan''': Nah, I'm straight dog. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I'd, yeah I'd rather not. 
'''Fan''': Omnicron has a question on here, on the side here. 
'''Fan''': You see it, or? 
'''Chris:''' No. That's not straight. 
'''Fan''': Alright, what about the earlier question. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah, the one before. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, which one before? Oh, you mean... 
(All talk at once) 
'''Fan''': Chris, what do you think about- 
'''Other fan''': Wait, wait let him answer. 
'''Another fan''': Let him answer that one. 
'''Fan''': I was gonna rephrase it but okay. 
'''Chris:''' I'd say it would depend on your interpretation, what is adultery to you? 
'''Fan''': But, you know, isn't the Bible only supposed to be interpreted, it's the word of God, you're not really supposed to interpret it any other way. 
'''Other fan''': It is what it is. 
'''Fan''': It's in English. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh, I have no comment. 
'''Fan''': That's okay. 
'''Fan''': Yeah, that's what my, uh, you know I was talking about my mom saw those drawings. I mean, not the drawings, the posters, the playboy posters and that's basically what she got bad about. She said I was committing adultery. 
'''Fan''': Yeah okay, if you don't want to talk about it, fine. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, hmmm, I think you shou, I think you should, uh, when you, I think I can see where this could be interpreted one way or another, it depends on how you look at the woman. I mean, alright, you're looking at the, uh woman, you might imagine her naked, but, I mean, you would respe- I mean, you would, you would still respect, I mean, if you were still respecting that woman, you would appreciate her more for like who she was aside or in addition to the nudity, then that's not as bad as just, as just only doing it for the appearance. 
'''Chris:''' That's why, uh, that's why the playboy magazines, they give you the introductions of the women. It's like letting you know who they are (unintelligible). 
'''Fan''': Oh but, yeah, but there weren't any, uh, descriptions under the, yeah never mind. 
'''Other fan''': Thank you for the clarification Chris. 
'''Fan''': Hey Chris, do you love America? 
'''Chris:''' I'm patriotic. 
'''Fan''': That's good. I was wondering if you could sing the national anthem for us? 
'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:My Country, 'Tis of Thee| My country tis' of thee. Sweet land of liberty. Of thee, of thee I sing.]] I don't remember the rest. 
'''Fan''': Lands where my fathers died. 
'''Other fan''': That's okay. 
'''Fan''': Land of the pilgrim's pride. 
'''Another fan''': Pilgrim's pride. 
(Fans all start singing) 
'''Fan''': Stop it. 
'''Chris:''' Hey I'll, I'll tell y'all a funny joke that's kind of patriotic. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, you got this, you got this funny Mexican- you got this funny Mexican guy, and he just, he just come back home to Meh-he-co after an American visit. He's like (high pitched voice) Oh the people there are so very friendly. I mean, I go to the basketball game. I sit in the back row. I sit in the back row. And then, and then, and then all of a su- and then all of the sudden right before the game started, everyone turned around, put their hands on their chests, and they say, "Oh say can you seeeeee"! 
'''Fan''': I thought you said no racist jokes? 
'''Black fan''': Yeah man, that ain't cool! 
'''Chris:''' It was a name, it was a name joke. 
(Everyone talks at once) 
'''Fan''':...Spanish language 
'''Other fan''': I'm kind of offended by that. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry. 
'''Black fan''': That's racist dog. That ain't cool. 
'''Fan''': That's okay. 
'''Other fan''': You laugh you support terrorism. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Fan''': What? 
'''Other fan''': Yeah, what? 
'''Fan''': ¿Qué?
'''Chris:''' What'd you say? 
'''Fan''': What the hell? Who said that? 
'''Fan''': Forget it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other fan''': I said, you laugh, you support terrorism. 
'''Fan''': Okay, he's gone. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' (Awful Mr. T impression) I pity the fool, who try and misinterpret things, and twist them around, and then jam new words into my mouth. 
(All talk) 
'''Fan''': You do a good Mr. T 
'''Other fan''': Yeah you do. 
'''Chris:''' (unintelligible) no jibber jabber. 
(Fans laugh) 
'''Fan''': Chris, did you watch the A-team back in the day? 
'''Chris:''' No but, no but, basica- but I have seen Mr. T. And then I also, I also saw when he guest, when he quest starred in an episode of Alvin and the Chipmunks. 
(All talk) 
'''Fan''': I saw that episode, he helped uh Theodore. 
'''Other fan''': Theodore was getting picked on, yes. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
'''Fan''': Yeah, you posted a link here. 
'''Chris:''' Well at my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]], uh, sex before marriage is okay as long as, uh, she and I, we love each other very much and truly. 
'''Fan''': But that's what they tell you, I'm talking about the word of God. 
'''Chris:''' *Sigh* Okay, I'm getting tired, okay, I'm getting tired here, uh. 
'''Julie:''' Yeah, but... 
'''Fan''': Okay, sorry, no more of that. 
'''Julie:''' Yeah, you're right. Please stay Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, I'll stay a little while longer. 
'''Fan''': Yeah, if anyone does, if anyone asks anything that makes him feel uncomfortable, I'm gonna kick you out of the room. 
(Everyone speaks) 
'''Other fan''': Chris, could you give me some advice? 
'''Other fan''': I have a Japanese friend, he's, he's actually 26 and he's never had a girlfriend and we asked him some questions, just joking around one day. And we asked him if his, when he gets married, if his wife wanted to sleep with another man, would he be okay with it, and he actually said yes, as long as she wasn't being forced. Now that kind of bothered us, because us Americans, right, we think that marriage, and you know you're with somebody, they should be faithful, but he doesn't seem to think so, so I wanted to see if you had any advice maybe on what we could do to try and convince him that his viewpoint is wrong. 
'''Chris:''' Well, hmm, it's not necessarily that the viewpoint is wrong. See, the thing is, what, to, to quote, to make it accepta- to make it like as if you're actually cheating on somebody, cheating on your spouse in the marriage, it's like not telling them, not telling him, not telling him or her about it beforehand, but it's like, you know, you, it's like you tell them beforehand and you get their approval, it's, it's okay, even if they don't want to be part of it. But not telling them, that's definitely like uh, cheating on them. 
(Audio cuts out) 
'''Chris:''' Well that's another thing I would have to think about, cause, got a bit of a, couple of items of destruction that need to be repaired 
'''Fan''': Oh, I just got, I just talked to that one friend I was talking about who, uh, saw your website, the 18 one, and it turns out he's, he's gay, he's actually gay and he fapped to, uh I mean he masturbated to, uh, Sonichu. 
'''Other fan''': Hahaha, your friend's a fag. 
'''Fan''': And I think he's... 
(Audio cuts out for 15 seconds) 
'''Fan''': ...about that? 
'''Chris:''' Well, I think in case you would definitely want to let him know that you are straight and you don't want that kind of relationship, and maybe, and you know 
'''Fan''': Should I tell him just to get the hell away from your site? 
'''Chris:''' Um, I'm not saying that, but like, uh, you know, you don't want that kind, you don't, I mean that's, that's basically confirmed on that note. So, uh, you want, you still wanna be friends but you don't, but you're not into that kind of thing. 
'''Fan''': I mean, he was looking at your site, like, the 18 site and he was in like, um- 
'''Chris:''' Over 18. 
'''Fan''': The over 18 site you made. The loveshack. I thought he was just like, you know, masturbating to Rosechu, but it turns out he was attracted to Sonichu. 
'''Chris:''' *sigh* Uhh. 
'''Fan''': Yeah, I don't think I'll be friends with this guy anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, yeah, then tell him, yeah, to get the hell out of your house and stay away if you don't want to be friends anymore. 
'''Other fan''': Seems like you know too many gay friends mister. 
'''Fan''': Oh shut up. 
'''Another fan''': Hey Chris, you know how- 
'''Fan''': It's not my fault. 
'''Another fan''': You know how cologne or perfume, you know, women wear that to try and attract men? Do you think that farts attract gay guys to each other? 
'''Chris:''' Now that's stupid! Not only is that stupid, but it's gross. 
'''Fan''': Here, I'm gonna take that question and I'm gonna, I'm gonna take that question and spin that into something that's less weird. What would you say the best cologne or whatever a guy could wear to get a girl's attention? 
'''Chris:''' I recommend [[Axe|Axe]] body spray. 
'''Fan''': Oh yeah? I think I tried that one time. 
'''Female fan''': That actually does it for me. 
'''Fan''': What scent do you use? 
(All speak) 
'''Fan''': Don't you use ass body spray? 
'''Other fan''': Mmm, love it. 
'''Fan''': Does the Axe effect, does it really exist? 
'''Chris:''' Does Axe exist? 
'''Fan''': Yeah, the Axe effect. You know, they say in the commercials spray it and girls will come to you. 
'''Female fan''': (unintelligible) and it works for me. 
'''Fan''': Has it worked for you Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, well, yeah, I, yeah I haven't got that working for me. 
'''Fan''': I think it's a scam personally. 
'''Other fan''': I mean... I mean, Old Spice is pretty good. I had, I had like a couple of girls go up to me asking me for dates with Old Spice. 
'''Female fan''': I actually wore that Orion sent, uhh, still smelling it. So it will work Chris, you just gotta give it time. 
'''Chris:''' Using the Axe. 
'''Fan''': Cameron but, isn't Axe spray for men? 
'''Female fan''': No no no no no no no, see, see I said a boyfriend, a boyfriend that I met. 
'''Fan''': Oh, okay. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah, yeah. *laughs* 
'''Fan''': That makes sense. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah, silly, silly. I have a question for you Chris, what celebrities have you met? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, oh. 
'''Fan''': Well what I'm saying is the Axe effect doesn't work. Okay, sorry. 
'''Chris:''' I haven't actually met other celebrities in person, my real life, unless you count a local radio DJ. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I've met the DJ of my radio station 95.1 and [[Excel Saga|Monica Rial]], and meeting Monica Rial was just a treat. 
'''Female fan''': Ahhh. 
'''Chris:''' It was, it was good. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah, she's pretty. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah. 
'''Fan''': Maybe you should go to her and, um, maybe she could be like a contact for voice acting. I mean, you do pretty good imitations. 
'''Other fan''': Do Homer Simpson! 
'''Chris:''' (Homer Simpson impression) Oh, look at me! I'm a stupid old person, derp-de-derp de derp-de-derp, D'OH! 
'''Fan''': That was awesome 
'''Other fan''': Who else can you do Chris? 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Other fan''': What other imitations can you do? 
'''Chris:''' Oh, a lot. It depends on if you name it, I might recall, if you name the person or character I'll, if I can recall my memory than I will imitate that person. 
'''Other fan''': Can you try Bender from Futurama? 
'''Chris:''' I reckon I can do a pretty good Bender! I can twist off my arm and, derp-de-derp de derp-de-derp! 
'''Fan''': Chris, um, since my girlfr-(clears throat)-sorry. Since my girlfriend broke up with me, I was just wondering if you could give me any tips to like, pick up y'know, another girlfriend? 
'''Female fan''': (unintelligible) Valentine's Day is coming. 
'''Fan''': Yeah. It's gonna be lonely without her, y'know. 
'''Female fan''': Yeah I know. 
'''Fan''': Can you help? 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) No I do not know what tha- neither of them sound like in voices so I can't imitate them. (sigh) As for- as for dating advice uh, if you're- when you're going out to meet a woman, and this is like advice that's like it could've been taken from my, taken from my own advice I gave in the, the one in the video I did when I just turned 25. But it was definitely, it was given, but it was offered in this book written by a nine-year-old. 
'''Female fan''': Mm. 
'''Chris:''' When you're going to uh find yourself a woman, you just try to stay calm. And uh be polite, friendly. Don't uh let your nerves get the best of ya. 
'''Fan''': What should I say, what should I say here, y'know, to the girl? 
'''Chris:''' Start with "hello" and "how are you". 
'''Fan''': Should I ask her, should I like do a pick-up line? Do those work? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Um, sometimes. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't exactly count on it in a desperate situation. But I mean like uh, talk about yourself a little bit saying like, "Ooh did you read in the paper today about this article that really caught my eye?" 
'''Fan''': I was thinking about standing by the wall with [[Attraction Sign|a sign]]. Saying that I need a girlfriend? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, don't- don't do that. That makes you look retarded. 
(Laughter) 
'''Other fan''': What about wearing a sticker that says you're single. Have you ever tried that? Do you think that would work? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry what was that? A stick- 
'''Other fan''': Wearing like a uh, a sticker that says "I'm single". 
'''Fan''': Wait a second I'm not done yet. 
'''Other fan''': Oh I'm sorry. 
'''Fan''': I got that idea from your comic. I mean I thought it was a- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. I later learned that that, I already learned from my mother that made me look retarded. (Female fan laughs) To other people, so... 
'''Other fan''': Ohh. (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' So I stop- So I stopped- So I stopped doing that a long time ago and, I don't know (what payed attention?) 
'''Fan''': Oh. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Mm. Basically I'm running from others that have offered such advice. 
'''Female fan''': Oh yeah like John Tesh I remember that in your news dash. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. And also it's like uh there's an expression in my elementary somewhere uh, those who can't teach. 
'''Female fan''': Ah. 
'''Fan''': Um, I remember (unintelligible). Um, I was um, looking at um (something), how do you feel about Obama swearing in his book? Even read it out loud in the audiobook version. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Hm. (rustling and typing in the background) Hm. Ah, yeah I heard of that, didn't care much, didn't uh give much thought into it so... Uh swearing yeah don't care much for it. 
'''Fan''': So Chris I was just wondering uh, like can you hear me? 
'''Female fan''': I can hear you. 
'''Fan''': Uhh. Does wearing that medallion, does that attract females? I was thinking about making my own. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) You could do what you want, to try and make yourself stand out. Um... But it depends on if you, it depends on other peoples' point of uh you I guess at this point, um... You might want to get a second opinion. I mean it's not like I can see you over da Mumble and uh say what makes you look okay and what makes you look NOT okay. Yeah, g- get a second opinion from somebody else in person. 
'''Fan''': What about you, do you think that medallion makes you look, y'know, more attractive to girls? 
'''Chris:''' Ehhmmm. Yeah. Yeah I don't know. I don't know. 
'''Fan''': Yeah I think it looks pretty cool on you. So that's, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Well you could try it, see if you could try and see if it works for ya. 
'''Female fan''': Speaking, speaking of the medallion, I noticed you wear it on the outside. Have you ever done any replacing the chain on it to something a little more comfortable? 
'''Chris:''' Uh no. It's fine. It's fine. I mean I'd say that this uh the necklace chain with the like a pair- like a pair of- like a pair of keyrings with a belt buckle on them. 
'''Female fan''': Mm. Alright. 
(typing noises) 
'''Other fan''': Hey Chris in hentai, the uh guys- like the girls usually say no but the, the guy touches her a bit and she gets into it. I was just wondering if you think that really works, have you ever tried that? 
'''Chris:''' Uh. I'm sorry, could you repeat that? 
'''Other fan''': I said in hentai, y'know the Japanese um, kinda pornography- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah- 
'''Other fan''': -usually, the, the girl kind of says no but then the guy starts touching her boobs or something and she gets real excited and gets into it. I was just wondering if you think that really works. Can you just make a girl excited and into you just like t hat? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh... Yeah I don't think so. I me- I mean in most of the time I'm sure you would probably just, the girl would probably just turn around and slap you right in the face or kick you in the groin. 
(Various pained groans) 
'''Fan''': I don't know, you were saying it's educational. I think I saw that in a porn too. 
'''Other fan''': Uh. Also (unintelligible) asked "How far have you gotten with a girl"? 
'''Chris:''' I've never even been on a first date in my lifetime. 
'''Female fan''': Ohhh. 
'''Chris:''' At this point. 
'''Fan''': Hey Chris? 
(Fans talk over each other) 
'''Other fan''': I was suggesting uh Chris, I have family in Bristow, Virginia. I've been out there a lot. And you know, they're- I mean, people that I've seen in Virginia don't really like anime and things that much. Have you ever considered maybe trying to meet a girl in the west coast? Because a lot of people, especially universities are into anime culture. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) Yeah but I'm no- I'm not planning on traveling outside of my state. Plus I would prefer to keep it local. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah. 
(pause) 
(Everyone talks over each other) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but to see the world means to have to have the money to actually go see the world. 
'''Fan''': Well You just have to save up a little bit. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah. I mean you know, trains are good. 
'''Female fan''': (strange incognizable noise) 
'''Other fan''': Gas is cheap now. 
'''Other fan''': You can meet so many people just going on a road trip or just you know, taking the bus or something I mean it's not too expensive, it's cheaper than a plane- (Chris talks over him) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I hear you on that. But I just like, you know, if I want to go on a road trip I'd uh, I would not like to go it alone. I'd like to have my sweetheart by my side. 
'''Female fan''': Mmm. 
'''Fan''': The point is you could always get a job. That's what I did once a-(cut off) 
'''Chris:''' Uh. 
(Fans talk over each other) 
'''Other fan''': -and I wanted to meet a girl? I got this t-shirt that says "ask me about my large and attractive penis" and I wear that to the mall and it works every time. 
'''Fan''': Are you kidding, really? 
'''Other fan''': Yes. (cut off) 
'''Female fan''': Well that's interesting. (laughs) I have to meet you some time. 
'''Chris:''' Ah boy. Uhh, alright, gentleman's clubs um... 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, what was that noise just now? 
'''Chris:''' Noise? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I heard like a (snorts) noise. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Yeah, that was probably me be- because I was like objecting to the uh, when he was describing what it said on his t-shirt. 
'''Fan''': Yeah that wasn't cool. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other fan''': You guys have no taste. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah- 
'''Guy''': Disgusting! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I know. 
'''Fan''': Okay um. 
'''Chris:'''But it just uh, just it m- just ma- I mean the way I see it, see somebody else wearing that it makes, it uh, it makes- it s- it would appear that guy is only looking for sex and women would be turned by sh- sh- sex right away at that point. 
'''Guy''': Yeah it kinda sums up (cut off) 
'''Fan''': Um, so... 
'''Chris:''' Um... (Chris and Fan talk over each other) Yeah let me answer this guy's question. Yeah I don't know much about gentleman's clubs so I can't really answer that question. A, and uh... 
'''Fan''': What about you though, like when you're looking for a girl, does like sex really matter? Like, to attractiveness? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, er, yeah. Eventually the se- yeah. Attractiveness does matter in one point of view but uh, but if you think about it it's like you want to get to know the person, the woman inside as well. Um, so, (I'd rather be in it?) so like uh, we were very close to each other emotionally and like friends, then the sex. Like uh, how Panda and I were very... close. 
'''Female fan''': Hmm. 
'''Other guy''': What happened to Panda? 
'''Female fan''': Yeah what happened to her? 
'''Chris:''' I haven't heard fermer- I haven't heard from her in over two weeks and then recently there were, there was the fires in Australia close to by where she was. So I don't know whether she's still alive or not. I haven't heard from her in over a coupl- over two weeks. 
'''Other guy''': That's awful. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah. I heard it was real bad, it was like a hundred and eight people died from those fires. 
'''Black fan''': Daaaamn! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but you know it's okay that at least I have uh, at least I have uh, at least I have a good woman who w- who's willing to uh be at my side at this point. 
'''Female fan''': Man... Uh- 
(Multiple people talk at once) 
'''Accented woman''': -for the people who are dead? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
'''Accented woman''': So you feel no remorse for the people who have died in Australia? 
'''Chris:''' Oh no no, I DO feel remorse. Especially to Sarah sh- eh- I mean... I worry about her she's still ali- I worry about- I'm concerned if she's actually dead or still alive. 
'''Fan''': Yeah I'm sorry to hear that. 
'''Chris:''' I me- I mean, I mean I'd li- I mean I pray every day that she's still alive safe and well. And that she contact me soon. 
'''Accented woman''': But you... you automatically, you basically abandoned her for Julie. 
'''Chris:''' But I did not basically abandon her for Julie. 
'''Accented woman''': That is what it appear- seems like. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' (sigh)...(sigh) 
'''Fan''': She could be still alive, you never know. 
'''Other fan''': Even if she isn't still alive, take solace in the fact with her perfectly barbequed remains fed to survivors. 
'''Chris:''' SHUT UP!!! 
'''Fan''': Um, that was too far, you're going too far man. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. And at this point I care about both- I care about of uh both of them equally. Both uh Sarah and Julie. But it's like, it's like you know uh, I'm uh stil- if she let's me- if she uh gets in contact with me, letting me know that she's still alive, and uhh she... 
'''Fan''': But I'm letting you know Julie, if she's still alive what are you gonna do then? 
'''Other fan''': And if people actually did eat her what would you do to them? 
'''Chris:''' OH SHUT UP!!!! Kick that guy out! 
(pause) 
(laughter in background) 
'''Fan''': Okay um. Uh... 
'''Chris:''' Uh, but you know in all seriousness if Sarah gets in contact with me and lets me know she's gonna be coming my way in real life, and uh- 
'''Fan''': You're not gonna dump Julie are you? 
(uneasy pause) 
'''Chris:''' No, I wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. 
'''Julie:''' Oh but! Oh... 
'''Chris:''' Julie I still, Julie I still love you. 
'''Late guy''': Hello everyone. 
'''Julie:''' But you told me I was your sweetheart, didn't you? 
'''Female fan''': Oh hello, Doctor. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. (stress sigh) Julie I'm going through a- I'm going through a transition right now so it's kind of hard for me to make uh, short watch of what I say at points and y'know answering these kind of questions. 
'''Fan''': I'm sorry uh, I don't mean to offend you or anything. Well I was just wondering- 
'''Guy''': (unintelligible) guy Chris. 
'''Other guy''': Uncalled for. 
'''Black fan''': Y'know what, don't worry about Sarah. Cause, y'know it usually takes like, like months for a person, like a victim of a fire or a flood of some crap like that, to y'know find shelter and then phone and internet and all that. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other guy''': You know, if the place is in a state of emergency, people are getting moved around all over the place, there's people in the hospital, I'm sure she's fine she just can't y'know talk to anyone. 
'''Guy''': What about Alucard's question? 
'''Fan''': Wait, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) Uh, I can't answer that question. 
'''Female fan''': Mm? 
'''Other guy''': Why not? 
'''Chris:''' Because I'm still in a transition right- I'm still in a transition from Sarah to Julie at this point so uh I can't answer that question right now cause I wouldn't know how to answer it. 
'''Accented woman''': It seems- 
'''Guy''': So you "transition"? 
'''Fan''': It's a hard choice, I can't blame you I mean, yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Oh I mean you know what, that's- that's a flat out bad question, I mean I would- I'd be able- 
'''Other guy''': It's quite valid. 
'''Chris:''' (aggravated) Auuuughh! Okay now I'm gettin' uh, okay now my head's out of order. 
'''Fan''': Oh. 
'''Other guy''': I've had that problem too. 
'''Guy''': It's never fun. 
'''Fan''': Okay forget it then. 
'''Female fan''': Uh okay I got, I got one. Impressions, impressions! Uh, can you do one of Bill Clinton? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh... no. 
'''Female fan''': Oh. 
'''Other guy''': Um, Chris? Do you- 
(Everyone talks at once) 
'''Chris:''' (sigh) 
'''Other guy''': I was wondering do you watch the Boondocks on Adult Swim? 
'''Black fan''': Aw yeah that's my show! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I've watched the Boondocks. 
'''Other guy''': Did you enjoy it? 
'''Chris:''' It's alright. 
'''Other guy''': Can you do any imitations of the characters there, like Uncle Ruckus? 
'''Chris:''' (incoherent gibberish) -dem niggers over there! Sing along if you know the words to that song I just made up. 
'''Other guy''': What was that? 
'''Guy''': That was, wait, what? 
'''Chris:''' That was Uncle Ruckus. Well I'll tell ya what I sell propane and propane accessories all day long! (begins a high-pitched cackling and squeals more gibberish)... That was- 
'''Other fan''': Could you do Meowth from Pokemon? 
'''Chris:''' Meowth! 
'''Fan''': The talking Meowth. 
'''Chris:''' Meowth! ... (cackles again) Aye Jessie, James, we gotta go snag that Pikachu again! 
'''British guy''': Do you know how to do the Team Rocket song? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, the Team Rocket song er, do you mean the motto? 
'''British guy''': Myes the motto, the classic one. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hmmmm... Prepare for trouble make it double, to protect the world from devastation, to uni- to unite all people- o- (sigh)... 
'''Guy''': ...in our nation! 
'''Chris:''' Mm. Anyway... (sigh) Hang on I'm a little mixed up here. Prepare for trouble make it double, to protect the world from devastation, to unite all people within our nation, to debi- to debide(sic) the evils of truth and love, to extend our reach to the stars above. Team Rocket blast off to the speed of light, surrender now or prepare to fight. 
'''Guy''': ... Meowth, that's right. 
'''Other guy''': That's right! 
(chuckling) 
'''Fan''': Now hand over the Pikachu! 
'''Chris:''' No. (sigh) 
'''Fan''': Oh come on- 
'''Accented woman''': -than Sonichu, because Sonichu is obviously more powerful than Pikachu! 
'''Chris:''' I will not hand over the Sonichu, so there. (pause) Alucard, stop asking the questions please? 
'''Accented woman''': Yes Alucard you are very annoying. 
'''Other fan''': Yeah someone kick him out. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. 
'''Guy''': Good goin' Canine. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Canine''': Anytime. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Actually I'm k- actually I'm kind of tired now uh... I'm gonna- I'm gonna head on down now but y'know I'll come back another night. 
'''Other guy''': Okay. 
'''Accented woman''': Well thanks for coming Chris, we really appreciate it. 
'''Clyde''': No. I've got a few questions for you Chris, I've been waiting. 
'''Julie:''' Clyde no, no, no. 
'''Accented woman''': How did he get in here? 
(Everyone yells over each other) 
'''Clyde''': It's important! 
'''Guy''': Ohh he leeeft! 
'''Clyde''': No, no, shut up, shut up- 
'''Other guy''': He's not coming back, give up. 
'''Clyde''': Tell him it's important it's about Panda! 
'''Other fan''': I'm digesting her right now. 
'''Clyde''': That will get him back in, I know it. 
'''Guy''': What's the important news? 

[End recording]

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 8|Mumble Chat 8]]|}}

==Links==
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBWklfakp0TGdDSkU Download]

==See also==

[[Christian's sex joke]] - Used during this chat.

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 6

2015-06-16T20:26:16Z

WhatAPsychopath: fixed a few missing colons.

'''Mumble 6''' is the sixth of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 10 [[February 2009]].

Length: '''1:57:53'''

== Summary ==

* Chris has received a letter from [[Nintendo]] of America stating that he hasn't been in touch with [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Shigeru]] [[Miyamoto Saga|Miyamoto]]. The trolls try to convince him that the letter is fake.
* Chris gives more advice on whether Falsion's friend is a [[homo]] by suggesting he'll be drawn to posters of men more than those of women in the fan's bedroom.
* [[Julie]] probes Chris on why he dislikes [[homos]] so much. Chris flounders.
* Chris first made his [[medallion]] because he wanted to, before he ever drew any [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and wears it all the time because it's like a nametag. Might make one for Julie.
* Someone hacked [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichugirls.net]]. Julie is outraged.
* Chris doesn't hate all men, just the ones who are [[jerks]], which is the "majority of the male population." When called on it, admits he doesn't know how he knows that men are jerks without knowing them.
* Chris doesn't remember saying that transgender people should have surgery. Now says that they shouldn't. Confuses "[[Wikipedia:transgender|transgender]]" with "[[Wikipedia:intersex|intersex]]" and says that if he had a child with both organs he would raise it as a boy.
* If Chris was dating a girl and she turned out to have a [[pickle|penis]], he would freak out, throw up and dump her.
* [[Sonic]] replaced [[American Rabbit]] as Chris's favorite cartoon character.
* Chris's favorite soap opera is [[Wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|''The Young and the Restless'']]. He used to watch MTV's [[Wikipedia:Undressed|''Undressed'']].
* Chris feels as if his life is a soap opera, as he's had a lot of drama.
* Chris hasn't decided if there will be a Chris Chandler show. Everyone says it's a great idea.
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic 3D|''Sonic 3D'']] is Chris's favorite Sonic game.
* ''The Chris Chandler Show'' would be improvised with no commercial breaks. When [[Jack Thaddeus]] calls him on the show needing to make money, Chris says that he doesn't know how to make commercials.
* Chris never received the [[Wikipedia:Jet (magazine)|''Jet'']], [[Wikipedia:Ebony (magazine)|''Ebony'']] and [[Wikipedia:Vibe (magazine)|''Vibe'']] magazines that a troll called hottiee96 subscribed him to.
* Chris says he's irregular with comics because "It's called a life".
* [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty]] asks what Chris does, considering he has no job. Chris stalls, before saying that [[lie|he can't describe his daily schedule on a whim at the moment]] and had better not say. He blames [[stress]].
* Chris says that he gets stressed and needs a day to recover. Fans point out the contradiction of drawing comics to relax and using stress as an excuse not to draw them. Chris says that he feels uncomfortable with the questions.
* Chris does [[Sonichu]]'s voice. It sounds like Chris, only slightly higher. Fans praise this fantastic rendition.
* Chris says that he would want [[Sonic the Hedgehog#Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] to publish Sonichu.
* There will be no lesbian relationships in Chris's comics, as he promotes heterosexuality.
* Chris obnoxiously cuts off a fan who asks about [[Nintendo]] and [[copyright]], saying "I don't know, I don't know, I'm not a business genius."
* They talk about anime and video games. Chris doesn't like the nudity in [[Wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|''Crayon Shin-chan'']] because dicks 'offend' him.
* Says that him drawing ''Sonichu'' with his [[duck]] out [[Chris and Hypocrisy|was different because he was wearing a condom]].
* Chris confirms that he ripped off the workings of Sonichu's penis from a line from Brian in ''[[Family Guy]]''.
* Chris does not like [[dirty crapped briefs|poo]] in a fetishistic sense.
* Chris can't remember why he mentioned his dirty crapped briefs to Clyde.
* Chris is still trying to upload the Nintendo of America letter.
* The adult scenes in Sonichu are not "lost content", they are "removable deleted scenes" and the comic can be read with or without them. [[lie|This is how he designed it]].
* Chris will not undergo speech therapy because he had it when he was a child.
* Chris does a terrible high-pitched impersonation of someone with no front teeth.
* Chris cuts off a question about the [[PS3]] being the main console of the [[gay]] community, as he's bothered by it.
* CWCville's employment situation is discussed. Sonichu and [[Rosechu]]'s job is protecting [[CWCville]] and everything is free for them.
* Chris liked the [[Wikipedia:Spice Girls|Spice Girls]], but didn't have a favorite.
* CWCville was founded just by [[Bob]], shortly after Chris was born.
* Bob told Chris that Sonichu was viable as regards copyrighting. Chris has paid the [[Wikipedia:Library of Congress|Library of Congress]] $35 for copyright years ago and hasn't heard anything.
* Chris has uploaded the Nintendo of America letter. The fans deny that it's real and attempt to discredit it. Chris refuses to listen.
* Chris starts to leave, [[Clyde Cash]] enters. The HONEST and TRUE fans all decry this disgraceful human being.
* Clyde says that Julie is afraid of how her life with Chris will turn out, and that her parents will take her away. Chris protests that he's cleaned his room.
* Clyde says Chris needs to clean up his act to be with Julie, asks if he pays taxes. Chris says he's paid sales tax.
* Chris "pleads the fifth" when Clyde asks how much [[Money|credit card debt]] he has. When pressed, he admits to having almost $2,000 to offset his savings of $100.
* Chris says that if he decides he has to get a job when he and Julie are married, he will.
* Chris claims that he can cook "anything that's within his cookbook."
* Chris admits he was lying about looking for jobs he can do with his [[CADD]] degree, but he ''can'' start looking. Clyde calls him out on lying to Julie so much, and Chris whines about his "insultive tone."
* Julie says that she's read up on [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] and there's no premarital [[sex]]. Chris says that [[Lie|Methodists are allowed]].
* Chris claims to cook for himself the majority of the week. Says he cooks a lot of things for himself. When pressed, he says vegetables, meats and soups, depending on shopping. His parents cook separately from him, as they live on a different floor.
* Chris says he will look for a job, depending on who's hiring. Will think about getting a job now.
* Chris's schedule currently varies from day to day, but he does a lot of creative things. Yesterday he cleaned his room.
* Julie says that drawing comics is currently Chris's job and he should work on it. Chris promises that he will.
* Chris says ''Ich bin schwul'' and leaves.
* [[BlueSpike]] and the others laugh about Chris admitting to being a [[homo]].

=== Transcript ===

==== Meet and Greet ====

[The various trolls greet Chris, talking over each other]

'''Julie:''' Heeey Chris!

'''Troll:''' Willkommen!

[sound of junk getting moved around]

'''Troll:''' Hello.

'''Troll:''' Morning!

'''Hamsty:''' Hey Chris!

'''Troll:''' Uhh- hello, Chris! What's up?

'''Troll:''' Hello! How're you doing?

'''Chris:''' [speaking in an effeminate voice] Hellloo...

'''Troll:''' Bonjour.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' So what are you up to tonight, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, nothing much, just uhh... takin' care of things.

'''Troll:''' Aww, that's good.

[Audio cuts out here for a moment. Presumably, the same thing happened in the chat.]

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?

'''Chris:''' [[BlueSpike|Julie]] bought me here. You asked for me to come and I so I did.

'''Troll:''' Did you... come for your fans at all?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah I came for my fans.

'''Troll:''' Cool.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Matter of fact I have an update...

'''Troll:''' Oooh?

'''Troll:''' Ohh awesome!

'''Chris:''' But... well unfortunately yeah, it was in a video but it didn't get, uhh, processed quickly enough... I've just had to start re-uploading it.

'''Troll:''' Yeeeah... [[YouTube]]'s really slow at that... depending on what you use. It's a'right.

'''Troll:''' It's like... they need to invest their money more in technology.

==== Chris receives a letter ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, uhh, as I have already told Julie and [[Sarah May]], mm, I have received a letter in the snail mail today from Mr-

'''Chris:''' I have received a letter in the snail mail today from Nintendo of America's representative Mr. Mike Chandler- no relation- In response to what I have sent Nintendo of America previously. Anyway, it-it-it verifies my uh- families, my friends and uhh... my theory so that, uhh, and I quote, Mr [[Miyamoto Saga|Shigeru Miyamoto]] did not have a meeting scheduled with you, nor has he be- has he been corresponding with you. Mr Miyamoto speaks and writes only-

'''Troll:''' [Talking over Chris] I'll be right back.

'''Chris:''' [very annoyed] -very limited English...! ...and our game development teams do not accept unsolicited game suggestions or other ideas. Although Mr Miyamoto made occasional business trips to the U.S., he spends the majority of his time in Japan at Nintendo's headquarters. So, in short I've- I've actually been talking to... impostors.

[The trolls begin talking over each other at this point]

'''Troll:''' Well, you don't know if he's an impostor or not, I mean, I mean,

'''Troll:''' Oooooh...

'''Troll:''' You know...

'''Troll:''' I mean, look at that, it had your last name- it didn't really sound legit...

'''Troll:''' Hold on, guys hold on, hold on. Just lemme...

[Brief silence]

'''Troll:''' Well, it could have been intercepted by a troll because he did say that Mr. Miyamoto doesn't speak- speaks limited Jap- I mean, limited English, but... I've seen YouTube videos of him speaking a lot... urn... in English... and... I don't- I think that's a lie- that guy obviously doesn't know anything about Miyamoto.

'''Troll:''' You know, I- I've heard about stuff like this happening, you know, one of my cousins is in the business industry and he says with a lot of these big companies they get mix- things mixed up all the time. Maybe they were sending it to like- maybe they thought you were someone else, or they sent it to somebody who had the wrong address, you know, they can screw stuff up an awful lot.

'''Chris:''' Well anyways, it's an official letter from Nintendo of America, because uhh... the envelope, is-is-is-is just like the previous envelopes I've gotten from Nintendo of America, as well as the uh... letter head on the... letter. It's typed.

[The trolls talk over each other here. The general drift is: "It's easy to forge..."]

'''Chris:''' [annoyed] It was typed.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, it's easy to forge.

'''Chris:''' [still annoyed] It was typed.

[Windows beeping in the background]

'''Chris:''' [yep, still annoyed] [[autism|It was typed]].

[More Windows beeping in the background]

'''Chris:''' And-and-and it has a signature on there.

'''Troll:''' Just because it's typed and it has a signature on there doesn't mean it's real.

'''Troll:''' In fact, wouldn't typing it make it more easier to forge since it's not handwriting?

'''Troll:''' And a signature doesn't mean anything, I mean, you nev- I mean you don't know this guy and so... it's just somebody's signature.

'''Chris:''' Look, I'll tell y'all- look, I'll tell y'all what, I'll scan the envelope AND the letter and put it on the [[CWCipedia|Sonichu site]] [annoyed] LATER [pause; the trolls talk all at once] and y'all- and y'all- can fig- and y'all decide for yourselves from that.

'''Troll:''' We're tryin' to help you, Chris. We're trying to help you and do what's best for you...

'''Troll:''' We're trying to make sure nobody's trying to trick you.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' We're here to back you up.

[silence]

==== Games, etc. ====

'''Julie:''' Yeah. I can always play it on my [[PS3]], or my Nintendo Wii when I ever get one...

'''Troll:''' Never [[Hex Bawx]].

'''Julie:''' I hate the Hex Bawx.

'''Troll:''' I'm a PC player myself.

[''The trolls talk all at once for about ten seconds'']

'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get the scanner and make it ready to scan.

[some trolls mutter back and forth, mostly silence]

[lengthy pause]

'''Troll:''' ... [whisper] [[pickle|cocks]]!

[The trolls laugh; sound of things moving around and other noise in the background]

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something, Chris?

'''Various Trolls:''' He's uh, scanning. He's scanning things.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just got back with it and I'm... scanning it.

==== The Molvanîan Language, et al. ====

'''Julie:''' Oh hey Chris?

'''Troll:''' Excellent...!

'''Chris:''' Yeah Julie? [''Chris sounds uninterested'']

'''Julie:''' Can you do me a favor?

'''Chris:''' Sure, what?

'''Julie:''' Can you tell everyone what I taught you today- the new, uhh, [[Molvanîa]]n word?

'''Chris:''' Oooh- ooh. Yeah. Julie uhh... Julie is from Molvanîa... its uh neigh- its uh-it neighbors- it neighbors five countries such as [[Wikipedia:Germany|Germany]] and [[Wikipedia:Slovakia|Slovakia]]. [''pause''] Anyway, uhh, she taught me how to say "I love you" in Molvanîa.

[''A troll screams in entirely understandable horror, possibly comprehending what will occur next...'']

'''Chris:''' [[Homos|''Ich- Ich baan schwill'']]. [sic]

[Julie says something in the background, something about 'a'right now, okay, keep going']

'''Chris:''' Yeah I just pretty much said it. Ich baan schwill. [sic]

'''Julie:''' Ahh, a'right. I love you too!

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Troll:''' You have a gift for languages, Chris.

'''Troll:''' Really!

'''Troll:''' I can see why you pick up [[Spanish]].

'''Troll:''' First Spanish, and now Molvanîan. You're moving on up!

'''Chris:''' Well, right now basically I just have like a few... greetings. And the 'I love you' there.

'''Troll:''' Before you know it you might be speaking Japanese with Mr Miyamoto.

[''Chris seems to forget that, just minutes ago, he had decided that [[Miyamoto]] was an impostor and doesn't mention it.'']

'''Hamsty:''' Or French? [''she speaks a little French, but Chris just talks over the top of her'']

'''Chris:''' Well, uhh, I know a little bit of Japanese. Like... こんにちは (''konnichiwa''). [''awkward pause''] And さよなら (''sayonara'').

'''Hamsty:''' Do you know any French words?

[''More Windows beeping in the background'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh... wee wee mon [[anime]] [''sic''].

'''Hamsty:''' Ahh... mmm. I see.

'''Chris:''' ''Omelet du fromage.''

'''Hamsty:''' [forced giggle] That's uh, that's that's... very nice. Merci! Merci beaucoup... [''another giggle'']

'''Chris:''' Merci!

'''Hamsty:''' That means 'thank you'!

'''Chris:''' I know.

'''Hamsty:''' Okay, just making sure! [''another 'please don't [[rape]] me' giggle is squeezed out'']

==== Idle Chatter ====

'''Julie:''' So, uh, Chris. How are things?

'''Chris:''' Things are, uh well at home.

'''Julie:''' Awesome!

'''Chris:''' I'm safe and well, and I'm looking forward to you arriving, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Hmm!

[awkward silence]

'''Troll:''' Uhh, what happened last time? You were interrupted by... something.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?
'Member last time you came? I don't know what happened, but you had to sign off for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I don't 'member that, that was like a long time ago... that was pretty much a long time ago at this point.

'''Troll:''' Uhh, never mind.

'''Troll:''' Yeah...

'''Troll:''' I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. [''snort'']

'''Hamsty:''' [''giggle'']

'''Troll:''' Well, it happens, it happens. Sometimes you can remember things from birth... and like, from, childhood years... and sometimes you can't remember things from last week!

'''Troll:''' [[Stress]] does influence memory, so it's understandable.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... I suffer from that... occasionally.

[''awkward pause'']

==== Movies ====

'''Troll:''' So Chris, seen any good movies recently?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... good movies, good movies... I saw [[Saw|''Saw V'']]?

'''Troll:''' And how was that?

'''Julie:''' Oooh, and what did you think of it?

'''Chris:''' I thought it was- I thought it was neat and very interesting... I mean I saw the previous four... which I have on DVD. But I got ''Saw V'' on Blu-ray.

'''Troll:''' Sounds pretty crazy. Was it scary?

[''awkward pause'']

'''Troll:''' Were the special effects realistic enough to make it seem... scary... enough?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause'']

'''Troll:''' [[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!|It didn't have enough traps!]] That was my complaint.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean uh, I think uh, I think the scariest thing from that movie would be after that- after that guy removed his arm from the- from the saw, and it was like split down to the elbow. But you know-

'''Troll:''' I remember that.

'''Troll:''' Oh, wow!

'''Chris:''' But then- but then you realize from the behind the scenes footage that that actually was just a fake arm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, well, they wouldn't do that in real life because they would have to, like, pay a lot of people...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I mean, like, the special effects they use nowadays is pretty impressive.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' The men were [[jerks]] in that movie, the saw vic- the jigsaw victims. I mean like they let that poor girl- uhh... that poor girl die at the beginning the trap...

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It's like they could- it's like they didn't- it's like, it's like they didn't know at the time they could have gotten away with all five of them alive at the front line through the whole... setup. But uh, still, you know, I mean, the whole setup they had going there... the girl... the woman actually had her head going through a hole in the wall, while there was a whole fake, empty neck on top of it.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... yeah. I just can't believe how much the men were [[jerks]] in that movie. They weren't... especially...

'''Julie:''' Yeah. That movie made me kinda mad...

'''Troll:''' Sexist!

'''Troll:''' Do you think they'll make a sixth... Saw movie?

'''Chris:''' <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and his ego|Chris speaks as though he were a great authority on the matter]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Yeah, I think they'll make a [[Saw|''Saw VI'']], I mean- I figured they... you figured they gave the role of [[Wikipedia:Jigsaw Killer|Jigsaw]] over to [[Wikipedia:Mark Hoffman (Saw)|Detective Hoffman]], so he could probably do something in the next one. Plus, I'm still wondering, what was the fate of the uh... doctor. You remember from [[Wikipedia:Saw (film)|the first ''Saw'']], that uh, that actually cut off his foot?

'''Hamsty:''' Mmm hmm!

'''Troll Chorus:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Well, y-you find out that basically... you find out he's into crawling away. You find him doing that in Saw III. But yeah you don't see anything of him in [[Saw IV|''Saw'' f-...four]], except for that one time when they actually- they talk about that little piece of evidence that went against him in the first ''Saw''.

'''Hamsty:''' [coughs] Mmm. Excuse me.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... Uhh... I never really was into horror. What is it that, uh, makes horror movies so enjoyable?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I would say probably the, uh, story, and uh...

'''Julie:''' Oh hey Chris, can I ask a question?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' What's your favorite kind of movie?

'''Chris:''' Mmm- I mostly like, uh, romantic comedies.

'''Troll:''' Oh, those can be good. [''More Windows beeping'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they're fun. I've uh- I've uh- gone back to the [[wikipedia:List of Shuffle! episodes|Moonlight Confession episode]] of ''[[Shuffle!]]''. That's uh, that's episode 10.

'''Troll:''' I prefer animated movies myself, you know... Disney, Pixar...

'''Troll:''' So do I.

[''A soft, computer generated 'bong!' noise can be heard in the background'']

[Hamsty gasps in the background]

'''Troll:''' I just watched ''[[Wikipedia:Finding Nemo|Finding Nemo]]'' recently... just this weekend.

'''Chris:''' I liked ''Toy Story''.

'''Troll:''' That was a good one.

'''Troll:''' That is such a classic!

'''Troll:''' My friends and I quote that ALLL the time whenever we watch it.

'''Chris:''' To ef-fenity [sic] and beyond. [Chris gets the 'tone' of the catch-phrase completely, completely wrong; it sounds like some kind of [[Hello, Juffalo|deranged, toneless rap]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>

[short, stunned silence]

'''Troll:''' There's a snake in mah boot! I always liked that line.

'''Troll:''' I [inaudible] Oh, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, you were saying?

'''Troll:''' I was just saying, I have a toy [[pickle|Woody]], which when you pull the string he says "I have a snake in mah boots"...

'''Chris:''' <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[stress sigh]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Yep, those were sold in the toy stores.

'''Troll:''' I- I remember in like... one of my favorite type of movies is, um, martial arts.

'''Chris:''' Oh. I saw [[wikipedia:Kung Fu Panda|''Kung Fu Panda'']] like, recently... on Blu-ray.

[''Possible audio cut here?'']

'''Troll:''' Oh. Like, name- name a-a couple.

'''Chris:''' Oh I just uh- okay yeah, I can remember another one. Mmm. [[wikipedia:Hard Boiled|''Hard Boiled'']]. I got the collector's edition version of [[wikipedia:Stranglehold (video game)|''Stranglehold'']] PlayStation 3. That was...

'''Troll:''' Hey, ''Hard Boiled''? Wasn't that a [[Wikipedia:John Woo|John Woo]] movie with [[Wikipedia:Chow Yun-fat|Chow Yun-fat]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' And he's like, "Oh man, I love that one!" and he's- and he's got, and he has a gunfight in the hospital- that's a really good one.

'''Chris:''' And I saw [[wikipedia:Kill Bill|''Kill Bill''s volume I and II]].

'''Troll:''' Oh those are pretty impressive! [pause] Also, um. Have you ever heard about the new [[wikipedia:Dragonball Evolution|Dragonball movie]] that's about to come out... in two months?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. No, uh, ye- no- ye- no I haven't. But I have heard- but I have, uh watched a bunch of Dragonball episodes. Uhh... [[wikipedia:Dragonball#Anime series|Dragonball, Dragonball Z, 'n Dragonball GT]]... and I have seen some of the movies. Oh- a-and I have also seen the orig- the, uh, the [[wikipedia:Street Fighter (film)|''Street Fighter'' Movie]]... a long time ago.

'''Troll:''' Ooooh I remember that one.

'''Chris:''' And I'm also looking forward to the one where they... the [[wikipedia:Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li|new ''Street Fighter'' movie]] that's coming out that's gonna be be [[Chris and English|surrounding]] [[wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]].

[''The trolls talk over each other at this point'']

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

'''Troll:''' Did you play [[wikipedia:Street Fighter IV|''Street Fighter IV''?]]

'''Troll:''' Ooh, Chun-Li was my favorite ''Street Fighter'' character... actually.

'''Chris:''' Me too.

[Julie and a troll talk over each other]

'''Julie:''' Oh wait-

'''Troll:''' -''reet Fighter IV''?

'''Julie:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Cuz Chris, I'm gonna get it and I wanna play against you...

'''Chris:''' What, ''Street Fighter IV''?

'''Julie:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' Yeah I was thinking about- yeah I-I was thinking about getting the collector's edition version... of that.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

[''The generic sound of junk being moved around in the background; a slight pause'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in ''Street Fighter'', like who do you use the most?

'''Chris:''' [[wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]].

'''Julie:''' I also use [[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan]].

'''Troll:''' I use [[wikipedia:Cammy|Cammy]].

'''Chris:''' In [[Soul Calibur]] I use [[wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cassandra|Cassandra]].

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh. What a coincidence, I actually use [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cassandra|Cassandra]] a lot... um in um, ''Soul Calibur''.

'''Troll:''' I play [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cervantes|Cervantes]]. I like play Cervantes... a lot.

'''Chris:''' You don't saaaaaay. Hmm.

==== Broken Wii, More Games ====

'''Troll:''' Hey Chris, I've got a question.

'''Chris:''' [[Megatron Gun|Shoot]].

'''Troll:''' Uhh- two days ago my Wii broke and I have to send it in for repairs, and it's not gonna be back for like two weeks... what should—what do you think I should do to fill that time slot until I get it back?

'''Chris:''' Umm... do what you're normally doing right now- like as if uhh... you're living- I mean, you're pretty much living with that right now, just continue on with that... until uhh... you get it back.

'''Troll:''' Thanks Chris, that's great advice.

[The troll is very sarcastic. Chris [[autism|doesn't notice.]] ]

'''Chris:''' Simple, really! Not [[tobacky|rocket]] scEYEnce[sic].

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' You play any other [[CWCFighter|fighting games]]... or have any other fighting games?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just mentioned [[Wikipedia:Soul Calibur|''S-Soul Calibur'']], just the [[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|''Street Fighter'']], [''inaudible'']... I-I also played [[Wikipedia:Tekken|''Tekken'']].

'''Troll:''' Anything else?

'''Troll:''' I played that.

'''Chris:''' And-and a little bit of [[Wikipedia:Mortal Kombat|''Mortal Kombat'']].

'''Troll:''' Oh. Have you ever played, uh. You had a [[Wikipedia:Dreamcast|Dreamcast]] before, right? Or do you still have one?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I still have my Dreamcast.

'''Troll:''' You ever played ''Powerstorm''?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I've- I've played a demo of ''Powerstorm''. ''[[Wikipedia:Power Stone|Power Stone]]''.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah. Playing into that thing, uh- on your [[Wikipedia:Dreamcast|Dreamcast]], did you ever play [[Wikipedia:Phantasy Star Online|''Phantasy Star Online'']]?

'''Chris:''' No.

==== Anime, more games ====

'''Julie:''' Aaa- Chris, can I ask you a question?

'''Chris:''' Sure.

'''Julie:''' What do you think of the [[Wikipedia:EarthBound (series)|''Mother'' series]]?

'''Chris:''' ...mmm. Y- Oh yeah- you told me about your favorite song from there... uhh- I don't know much ab- I don't know- I do not know much about it, so...

'''Troll:''' Uhh- It's also known as ''Earthbound'' when it came out on-

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, oh yeah, ''Earthbound'', oh yeah,um, I mean I've heard- I may have heard about ''Earthbound''... oh yeah, that's right. I remember hearing that its Japanese name was ''Mother''... or it was also known as MOTH-A.

[''a stunned, confused silence settles over the trolls. Presumably there is an audio cut here.'']

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Mmmmm. [''pause''] Uhh... uhh, I don't think so.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' You should play [[Wikipedia:Phantasy Star Online|''Phantasy Star Online'']].

'''Hamsty:''' What about [[Wikipedia:Free Realms|Free Realms]]?

'''Troll:''' Yeah the whole... the whole... fanchat was playing ''Phantasy Star Online'' for the past few days, it was fun.

[''The sound of some kind of tapping can be heard in the background; presumably this is Chris because there is a pause and he doesn't speak until the tapping stops.'']

[''Chris and Julie talk over each other, along with a burst of static'']

'''Julie:''' -lay with us.

'''Chris:''' Uh. I might consider that. [Chris doesn't sound sincere]

'''Troll:''' I mean, we could show you how to get set up and everything.

'''Chris:''' Uhh- I don't- yeah well, I don't, I mean- uhh... Not tonight. [''pause''] But I'll consider it.

'''Julie:''' Okay-

'''Troll:''' Oh, also, also, um, [''Julie begins to talk over the troll''] reading to the left-

'''Julie:''' I mean, Jaggy, [''Julie is very unclear here''] Sorry, could you let someone else, everyone Jaggy, I didn't mean to hurry up- I mean, Chris, you can actually be [[Sonic]], in it! It's awesome!

'''Troll:''' Yeah, actually I'm playing as [[Tails]]!

[more clicking]

'''Chris:''' [[Sammy|Duuhokay]]!

[''pause'']

==== Music and Computers ====

'''Troll:''' What do you think of [[the Beatles]]?

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' It's, uh, just an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion|HP Pavilion]].

'''Julie:''' What Operating System do you have, W-Windows XP?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Windosse [sic] XP.

'''Julie:''' How much [[Random Access Humor|RAM]] do you have?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I don't know how much RA- how much total... RAM I have, but uh... yeah... I've pretty much got my... got my memory capacity- fill it up with like... tracks from iTunes, [[sex tape|some videos]], and, uh, [[rule 34|images]].

[[computers|Chris stupidly confuses the volatile Random Access Memory (or RAM) in a computer with permanent hard drive storage.]] [''This is from someone who, according to what he told [[Kacey]]'s father in the [[Father Call]], "...took a computer upgrading class where [he] put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch."'']

[''stunned silence'']

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' Ohh. Ohh. [[Wikipedia:Central processing unit|CPU]] Speed...

'''Troll:''' Like, your- your hard disk space... is for gigabytes and stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Well. I don't know what my- [stress sigh]

[''audio cut; volume is very muted and quiet when it comes back'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah... 'bout [[random-access humor|random-access memory]].

'''Troll:''' Also, um, [[Hamsty]] said, um, what-what do you think of the Beatles? [the troll has a noticeable echo]

'''Chris:''' Uhh, they're okay. I- [''pause''] I mean, [''static''] I mean, I've heard the Beatles, but it's not like I've formed a total... full opinion of them. But you know, they're okay.

'''Troll:''' Oh, okay.

[pause; the sound of shit getting moved around and occasional quiet muttering is present in the background for almost twenty seconds here]

==== Identifying a Homo ====

'''Troll:''' Uhh, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Troll:''' You know that [[homo|friend]] that uh- you told me to get rid of? He sent me an e-mail... and he's saying uh- wait let me read it. This e-mail says, uh... "Dude, I'm not gay, your room is so small and there's nowhere to sit; 'course I sat next to you, how else- I mean, w-what else was I supposed to do?" Lemme skim over it... and then, at the end here, he says, uh, "Dude, get it through your fucking head as much as you possibly can; I AM STRAIGHT." What am I supposed to say to him? Is he- is he gay or what?

[''The occasional sound of typing was heard while the [[troll]] was talking; Chris obviously wasn't paying any attention and has, almost certainly, [[Chris and his Ego|completely forgotten about an event which didn't directly concern him]] ]

'''Chris:''' I- I'm sorry could you-, I'm sorry, so, he-he-he... he said that he was... straight?

'''Troll:''' Yeah, he's telling me that he only sat next to me because my room was so small.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''Chris has obviously forgotten'']

'''Troll:''' You know, the friend that thought I was [[Homos|gay]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah! Hmm. [''long pause''] Mmm.

'''Troll:''' I think he's lying, I think he's gay.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''Chris's voice rises to a [[speech impediment|high pitched squeak]], outshining even [[Julie]]''] Well there is one thing... y-y-there is a, uh... test you could figure out... uhh... you could fill out- uhh... do you have any [[''Sailor Moon'' poster|posters]] in your room?

'''Troll:''' Uhh... wait, my room?

[''It sounds like Chris is [[obesity|eating something]] in the background, possibly with a wrapper. It's a little disgusting.'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Where y'all would... hang out.

'''Troll:''' Not really.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay, well, uh... fill half the- fill half your-, cover half of your [[room]] with- [the troll talks over Chris] with- with-

'''Troll:''' Oh you-you mean like a [[Sailor Moon]] poster? Yeah, I have one of those.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, lemme- [Chris sounds annoyed] let me finish. Cover half of your room with pic-uh, with posters of [[china|women]]. Half of your room with posters of women. You know, c- you know, could be [[anime]], bikinis, oooor... posters you pull out from a ''[[Playboy]]''.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh, I-I have those, yeah.

'''Chris:''' And then uh, on the other half of your room fill them up with, uh... posters of... [[homos|guys]]. [''pause''] And like uh, you know you could- [''the troll interrupts'']

'''Troll:''' I-I-I don't know about that man, I'm not gay.

'''Chris:''' I know, but you know you don't have to put- you don't have to... put them in, like, you know, their [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|underwear]], but you could use like war hero posters like, uh, like a c... poster. Something like that.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, uh-

'''Troll:''' But uh, [[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare|''Call of Duty'']]'s not gay!

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I know but, you know... [''pause''] yeah. But anyway uh, just go half your room in women posters and the other half of your room with uh... guy posters but uh- and then see which uh- which side of the room he leans towards. More.

'''Troll:''' But what if he really likes ''Call of Duty''? Does that mean he's gay? Urggh...

'''Chris:''' Maybe you could cover up the... title of the game if you wanted to, or uh j- or just like, fold it over. You know, just move the game title- but just like, you know, make sure you have the guy- just y'know. Just having the guy there and then... you know-

'''Troll:''' But it's a guy shooting stuff. That's awesome.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but to a h- a but to- when you think about it... if you, uh, think about it, like if you were trying to get into the mind of a... homo... person...? He would see that as something different. [''pause''] But anyway uhh-

'''Troll:''' Uhh- I think it's awesome, like... pictures of a guy like, in army gear and shit, like, and shooting people-

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah but- yeah but, uh, anyway, yeah, it just depends on his point of view and his perspective- but anyway, point is: [[Silvana|half women, half guys]], see which uh, side of the room he looks more towards. Or... leans towards. Or goes to.

'''Troll:''' Okay, I'll keep that in mind.

'''Chris:''' A'right.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but I-I I liked ''Call of Duty'', and like- posters of guys, like shooting s-things- I mean, I have a ''[[Wikipedia:Contra 4|Contra 4]]'' poster in my room, does that mean I'm- I'm gay?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... no. I'm just uh-

'''Troll:''' Okay, cool.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like you know if you were to like uh, decorate your room, you would probably- you would likely put up more... posters of women than- posters- than have posters of... guys. W- So uh, when you think about that, uh yeah, that let's you- that reminds you that you're definitely straight if you put up more- up more posters of uh, women that's a good sign that you're straight. I have mo- I have more posters of women in my room.

==== Chris... I Wanna Take You To A Gay Bar ====

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Sure.

'''Julie:''' What is so wrong with [[homos]]? I mean, I-I know that you don't exactly like them, but... what's wrong with having just a few... homosexual buddies? They're not gonna... you know. They're, you know... good people. You should give 'em- you should give at least one a chance. You should- [''Chris interrupts'']

'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, but uh yeah, but yeah... see uh, you know I'm going to... associate, and uh... and n-now I to respect them, but it's just like, you know- I don't want to get- I don't want to be... too close.

'''Julie:''' No, but you see it's- the thing is- they won't go near a straight man...! They can tell that you're straight! Don't worry, if you just give one a chance and try to be friends with them, maybe play some more... play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]''... maybe play some ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''... have some [[hanky panky|fun]], not try and- just don't... just- just try to have fun with them. Just try for me. Can you please do that? Just try for me?

'''Chris:''' Well, that depends if I ever... meet one.

'''Julie:''' Can you go to like... a social place?

'''Chris:''' Umm... well.

'''Julie:''' A-A dance club! What about... what about like a straight- like, an everything dance club... do you know what I mean?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... yeah, mmm... I tell you what. I might go to a dance club... uhh, after you- after you get here so that [[virgin with rage|I don't have to feel alone]].

'''Julie:''' A'right.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''He sounds relieved that this particular conversation thread is mostly over'']

'''Brit-Troll:''' I have a question.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' M'kay.

==== The Medallion ====

'''Brit-Troll:''' Okay um, since I don't want to keep talking about gay men since that's not my thing, anyways this is about your [[medallion]] quest. Okay, uhh, anyways- anyways- what are the uh, the origins of your medallion, like when did you make it, is there any particular reason you wear it *all the time*, if you do, and if this is in any way related to your [[love quest]]? [''pause''] Yes, that's what I'm wondering as well.

'''Chris:''' [[Autism|I made it because I wanted to.]]

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' But-

'''Chris:''' Plus, plus, me wearing it all the time is like me wearing a name-tag but it's not like it has my... name... on the front.

'''Julie:''' Yes, but Chris he was asking why- WHY did you want to, is the question? [''pause''] You must have some motivation.

'''Chris:''' I didn't really have- I don't think I really have any motivation... as far as I can- as far as I can remember. Because that was, like, years ago.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Um like w-when exactly though Chris? Was this in, um, in [[2000]] when you first made [[Sonichu]], or when you uhh- first made [[Sonichu (comic)|the comics]] in, uh, I believe [[2004]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, around 2004 or... [[2003]] I started drawing comics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' W-Was that when you um... first made the medallion though? Cuz we've- we've seen you-

'''Chris:''' Yeah- I don't... I don't remember *when* I made the medal...?

'''Brit-Troll:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' B-But-bu-bu-[''stammers incoherently''] but it definitely like- it definitely would have been like before I started drawing any comics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Yes, yes.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Oh Chris, I have another question for you!

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Two actually uhm, one... do you think you could make me a cool medallion like yours... when I get there?

'''Chris:''' I *might*.

'''Julie:''' Awesome. [''pause''] And uh, the other question- w-what happened to the [[Sonichu Girls]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh. I'm still talk- you know I st-still talk to [[Sarah May]], but uh... I just haven't been there much since, uh... since... [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] or troll or whatever... hacked into my... Sonichu Girls account.

'''Julie:''' Ahh, I see. Wait- someone hacked into your Sonichu Girls account? That's awful!

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I can't believe some [[JERK]] would do that- that makes me so mad!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[pause]

==== Friends with Men ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Sarah... Sarah May... you can hear me on there, uh... you know you can hit me... set that back up. Whenever you can.

'''Troll:''' Mmm hey I was just wondering, uh- you know [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]]... is he your friend or what? I heard you know- you don't like to be [[JERK|friends with guys]], but... is he like a exception or what?

'''Chris:''' Mmm? Mmm- no, no.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' But he seems like really good friends with you though.

'''Julie:''' So we can, like, hate him or...?

'''Chris:''' No, no... I don't... hate him. Uhh... yeah, it's- he's more of a buddy.

'''Troll:''' So... he's like the only buddy as far as like guys go... right?

'''Chris:''' I've had uhh... a few buddies in my lifetime.

'''Troll:''' Oooh, I thought you like hated guys or something... or-or didn't feel comfortable around them. Or something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a combination.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but what about [[bob|Robert]]? I me-that's very interesting...

'''Chris:''' Wa-wa-wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay. Okay. It's not necessarily th- it is NOT that I hate g- hate all men... I just the ones that are- that have- that are really... [[jerks]], which that'll be the majority of the male population.

[''The trolls talk over each other for nearly thirty seconds here, with occasional breaks'']

'''Troll:''' Isn't that sexist, Chris?

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' That's- that's... yeah That's kinda- that's kinda rough, Chris. It'd be kinda mean if someone said you liked- if [''inaudible''] fuck most 90% of all the population of something...

'''Troll:''' Very, very insensitive...

'''Troll:''' ...would die, or something...

'''Troll:''' ...not nice...

'''Troll:''' ...I mean, who-who would say that?

'''Chris:''' I have known a lot of jerks in my lifetime.

'''Troll:''' I mean, uh, I confess, we all have.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but how far have you really traveled to see that Ch-Chris have- like, you know, there's so many other places in the world that- where men can actually be nice.

'''Troll:''' I mean, but not nice in the [[It's UGH!|gay way]].

[''The trolls finally stop talking over each other'']

'''Chris:''' [MASSIVE stress sigh] Yeah I... don't know how to answer those questions cuz... I never traveled around the world. This far-The farthest I've ever traveled was to California on airplane... [[Cole Smithey|to visit my half-]]

'''Troll:''' [''inaudible''] -a neat place!

[''the trolls talk over each other again'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should go on a road trip.

'''Troll:''' Chris!

'''Troll:''' The world's a pretty good guy, eh?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah well-

'''Troll:''' I mean, I can understand... like, a jerk move would be like... say, you're a friend with some lady and then some guy comes and takes her away from you, like, even though he knows you're in a relationship with her, but, like, if-if like, y-you've never ever known these people before, I mean how is it more of a- h-how does it really make them a jerk if you've never really met them and they didn't even know you or... you know, haven't had the chance yet.

'''Chris:''' Ummm... not really sure.

[pause; soft beep in the background]

'''Troll:''' Oh.

==== On The Transgender Community ====

'''Cameron:''' Hmm. Oh, Chris- I. I have a question for you. Uhm... I recall asking you once, like a few... chats ago... if you ever thought about being a cyborg and... you said no... but you thought about being a girl, and, you know, you went on... [[Family Guy|signed a package God gave you]]. But theeen, towards the end, you said that um, transgender people... male-to-female to be specific- uh, you suggested that they should... actually go ahead and have the surgery... um, since they're taking the hormones and I'm just wondering... some transwomen don't really have a problem with that area, I'm just- curious why you would suggest that.

'''Chris:''' Ok what- okay what you're saying... it's not what- it's not what I sugge- I-I-I never said anything like, uh, anything about the trans-gender people, or... taking a- or taking any surgery or what like that. You might- you might be uh, be confusing that to, uh, to where, to where I said that... I'd sooner change my gender b- then, before I- before I became a homo.

[''It's obvious that Chris either forgot or chose to forget when he said this statement; unfortunately, that part of the chat is part of a previous mumble which hasn't been completely transcribed. At least, [[BlueSpike]] and Cameron are quite convinced it occurred; if anyone knows where Chris said that, feel free to link it in.'']

[''sound of typing in the background'']

'''Julie:''' Actually Chris, um... Cameron's right- I think you did say that.

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I don't remember.

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Yeah we- we have a [[CWCki|record]], 'n... I just remember that.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, I mean, what do you think of [[Lovely Weather|trans-women]] in general? I mean- I know they're not sweetheart material, but... in general. Like, should they... go under the knife?

'''Chris:''' Um... [''long pause''] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh- with both sets of uh... genitals... I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.

'''Cameron:''' Reeeally. Well, f-first [sound of Windows beeping] of all, um, uhh, both sets or something like that is actually called inter-sexed- and it c-

[audio cut]

'''Cameron:''' And uh... yeah, that's an old archaic term, Gecko-

'''Troll:''' I was wondering, uh-

'''Cameron:''' Oh go ahead, Falsion-

'''Chris:''' W-well either, well either way, transgender or hermaphrodite I'd raise them as a male.

'''Falsion:''' I mean-

'''Cameron:''' Chris-

'''Falsion:''' -when the child was born, couldn't you just like get an operation to have one set removed?

'''Cameron:''' I think it should be up to the child's choice eventually, I mean that does-

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Falsion:''' Hold on, lemme talk for a second.

'''Cameron:''' Okay, go Falsion.

'''Falsion:''' Uhh... Chris, like, say if you were dating a girl... and it turned out [[Julie|she]] [[Sarah May|actually]] [[Vanessa Hudgens|had]] [[PandaHalo|a]] [[Blanca|penis]], what would you do? Cuz' I had- I had that happen to me once.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] I'd [[Chris Loses It|freak out]] and probably throw up.

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Wait, you would throw up because-

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, me too, I-

'''Cameron:''' -your son was... transgender?

'''Chris:''' What? No no no no no no... I meant, if I was dating a [[troll|woman]], and I thought she was truly woman [sic], but then I found out she was a hermaphrodite or a trans-gender... then-

'''Cameron:''' But- but... but yoooou... said that you... support their decisions to do that... why would you... why would you like, you know-

'''Troll:''' Freak out.

'''Cameron:''' Freak out about it.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Uhhh...

'''Julie:''' Yeah c'mon, people can do that operation thing, they don't- they- they feel kind of... well, people feel kinda picked on when they just don't get dates because of [[pickle|that]]. [''pause''] And it makes people feel bad, Chris, it kind of does.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Uhgh. I'm sorry, it's... mmm.

'''Julie:''' It's- it's okay.

==== A Wild Kitty Appears! ====

[''pause'']

[''Four soft beeps; the first two and last are identical, the third appears to be a Skype noise. Horrific, tortured yowling can be heard.'']

'''Chris:''' Hi there sweety.

[''More beeps, more pained yowling'']

'''Chris:''' Excuse me. It's my cat. Excuse me. Hi sweety, what do you want? Are you hungry? Come on, I'll give you some food.

'''Julie:''' Can I talk to the kitty?

[''Sound like a large avalanche of junk'']

[''Even more pained yowling.'']

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hi Lucy! There you go.

[''Hamsty giggles in the background; the general drift is 'it's okay, go on'.'']

'''Julie:''' Chris? [''pause''] Did [''inaudible''] log out?

'''Chris:''' I was talking to my cats.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Troll:''' What kind of cats do you have?

[''pause'']

[''sound of typing'']

'''Julie:''' Kitty!

==== Return Of The Dickgirls ====

'''Falsion:''' So uh, about the things we were saying before; if you found out, like, you know, would you still love that person?

'''Chris:''' Umm... [''pause''] uhh. If I f-

'''Falsion:''' Like, if you had feelings for...

'''Chris:''' Umm... [''longer pause''] mmm. Hey [[Snorlax|Mum]], whatcha up to?

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] Oh, okay...

[''sound of mountains of junk, trash and rubbish being shuffled around'']

'''Snorlax:''' [''faint''] Somebody poop?

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] Yeeeah... Kitty did it already, I cleaned it up.

[''possibly someone muttering in the background'']

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] I did.

[''pause, moving of junk'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Right, so what was the question?

'''Julie:''' Wait, is that your mother? Can I talk to her?

'''Chris:''' Mmm, no she just left.

[''Julie, Falsion and Cameron talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' Aww, okay.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah Cogs said that- pretty much said it.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, to your left.

[''End talking over each other'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah so, what was the question?

'''Falsion:''' Like... if you loved someone- I mean, a girl and it turned out that [[Silvana|she had a penis]], would you still love her?

'''Chris:''' Ooooh yeah. Uhh, mmm. No, I'd pre- no, I'd pretty much uh... break it off, but you know-

'''Falsion:''' Not even friends?

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, not even friends...?

'''Chris:''' I mean but uh, yeah but I mean, uh, yeah, I- I mean break up... relationship and go back to being [[friend zone|just friends]].

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Okay.

'''Cameron:''' Oooh, okay.

'''Julie:''' But Chris, looks don't always matter, shouldn't it be the [[BlueSpike|person itself]]? I mean-

'''Cameron:''' Really, yeah!

'''Julie:''' I mean, not, not what's on the outside but what's on the insi-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Julie'']- I-I said I'd still be friends with that person. [''Windows beeping'']

'''Julie:''' Yes well- yes, but why would you still break with them just 'cuz of that?

'''Chris:''' I don't mean- I meant... I meant, I meant, [[death threats|kill them]]- I meant, still be friends but... not be [[rule 34|romantic]].

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Hmm.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Also, I was wondering, um- I watch a lot of television and I was wondering um- do you watch professional wrestling? I love it, my father loves it, and um-

'''Chris:''' Uhhhh... no, not- no, I don't watch it often. No.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, like, you don't watch WWE or um... the Ultimate Fighting Championship?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I don't.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' It just never really- it just never really interested me.

==== Cartoon Heroes, Audio Volume Fail ====

[''The audio becomes extremely muted here'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Oh, okay.

[''pause, sound of mouse clicks and typing in the background'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Also uhh, can you tell us, what's your favorite cartoon character?

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Uhh... who wants to know about it?

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Me and [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Yeah well, when I heard, uh, it would be [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] I mean, you know but before him, I would say my hero would be [[The American Rabbit]].

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Oh, that's great.

[''Several trolls talk at once; due to the extreme quietness of the audio it is inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] -I mean, wait. Does that mean Sonic qualifies as like [''inaudible''] considering like you show... or, like, [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] I consider it the number one in most ways.

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Yes but uh- that qualifies as a cartoon character if it's a video game... character.

'''Cameron:''' [''very faint''] Yes but he was also in a cartoon though, he had uh [''inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] I remember that too like, like, when I was a little kid [[wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog|The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog]]- that's a fun show.

'''Cameron:''' [''very faint''] Yeah. [''inaudible''] Um Chris, which show did you like- did you like the one with uh, like the one which was on Saturday mornings, or... did you like the one with uh, with the [''inaudible'']

[''Transcriber's note: Warning to listeners who may have their volume cranked to hear: the next speaker, presumably the person recording the conversation, has their volume at a normal level.'']

'''Troll:''' [''LOUD''] They were all [[wikipedia:Jaleel White|Steve Urkel]] as Sonic.

[''Jaleel White, most famous for his role as Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, also voiced the character of Sonic the Hedgehog and other characters for Sonic the Hedgehog media.'']

[''Chris's next reply is muted and quiet again'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Yeah, th- [''inaudible'']

==== Cartoon Heroes, Audio Volume Restored ====

[''From this point on, the audio is back to normal'']

'''Troll:''' [''LOUD''] D-did ya' like the one that had Sally, and-

[''Chris and the troll talk over each other'']

'''Chris:''' -Yeah, I liked the-

'''Troll:''' -Bonny, and other characters?

'''Chris:''' -Yeah- Yeah- I liked the [[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|Saturday Morning]] better than the... [[wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|weekday]].

[''Transcriber's note: There were two Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons showing at the time Chris was a kid. One was a shitty weekday serial which was basically slapstick comedy and [[random access humor]] while the other was a much more serious show. Surprisingly, Chris favored the serious show.'']

'''Falsion:''' I absolutely agree.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, that was a much better one.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah. It was on, um- I think it was called like... the first one was The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, the second was SatAM... then there was [[wikipedia:Sonic Underground|Sonic Underground]]-

[''Transcriber's note: SatAM is the nickname given to [[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|the serious Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon series.]]'']

'''Chris:''' -Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' -then there was [[wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]].

==== Chris's Life as a Soap Opera ====

'''Troll:''' Here's a question, what's your favorite soap opera?

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, d-do you watch them?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I watch soap opera- yeah, I've watched soap operas... I'd say, I've watched more- I've watched most often [[wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|The Young and the Restless]].

'''Cameron:''' OooOOOOoooh.

'''Chris:''' A-And then- and then I also- [''Windows beeping''] during my teenage years I also watched [[wikipedia:Undressed|MTV's Undressed]].

'''Cameron:''' Hmm.

'''Falsion:''' I'm watching a soap opera.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah. Uhh, Chris- do you sometimes ever get the feeling that your life is kinda... a soap opera?

'''Chris:''' [''sounding annoyed''] Yees. Yes.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. How so?

'''Chris:''' Just feels that- it just feels that way.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. The only thing-

'''Chris:''' You know, I get- I get a lot of [[trolls|drama]] in my lifetime.

'''Cameron:''' Ahh. Do you- do you think that making your videos just... feeds into that a bit more?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] A lot of things have been... [[obesity|fed]]... to my... lifetime.

'''Cameron:''' Ohh, really?

'''Chris:''' So it's like... well. A lot. A lot of stuff. Like, yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, you gotta keep doing what you do, you know, don't let the anyone get you down or anything.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Just... just like, the end of a [[Asperchu|very good story]], like, everybody's life has a happy ending. The heroes. It's like a very good story.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Cameron:''' Ooooh, hans-

'''Cameron:''' Ohh, really?

'''Falsion:''' Oh yeah- yeah- Hans here had a question here. He said- I he- I heard you're going to make a Chris Chandler show.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; Chris sounds annoyed''] That has- that has not been decided fully yet. Uhh, [[Vivian]] suggested it.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' I think it's a great idea!

'''Various Trolls:''' Yeah! Yeah!

'''Cameron:''' I would watch it.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. Like, if you did do that, would you do it on like a weekly basis or-

'''Chris:''' Yeah- yeah I'd say more of a-

'''Falsion:''' -like a daily, or like a monthly-

'''Chris:''' -I'd say more- I'd say more a weekly.

'''Troll:''' I'd watch it every time, I mean...

'''Falsion:''' How long would each show be?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I- obviously ten minutes, I mean, there's uh- that's a limit.

'''Falsion:''' Well you could divide it- [''Various trolls interject, Falsion shouts over them''] DIVIDE it into parts?

'''Julie:''' Yeah you should make it like half an hour, e-every week.

'''Chris:''' Uhgh...

'''Falsion:''' Like Sonic SatAM.

'''Chris:''' Yeah- I don't know. Uhh, that's for me to decide... eventually.

==== A Terrible Idea is Born====

'''Troll:''' Also like The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog you could- you should add a segment for the [[Zapina|children]], like, you know, like, "Ask Chris" or "Chris Says"-

[''Trolls talk over each other here, the general drift is to suggest names for the title.'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah like telling peo- telling kids not to do drugs and stuff like that.

'''Troll:''' [''static-y''] [[Megan|Sexual]] [[The Wallflower|harassment]] and all that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Plus, will- [''audio cut'']

==== Rosechu-porn ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Just make an [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|eighteen-or-over section]] so we can all see the... comics-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Julie''] Yeah I'll- I'll-

'''Julie:''' I'd love it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll eventually make one of those, I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

[''Various trolls interject and try to talk, but Falsion wins'']

'''Falsion:''' -Chris. [''pause''] Yeah you know Chris, I heard something about a uh... [[homo|poke'boy]] magazine I reckon that'd be pretty cool to release, you know. With the uh- with the uh... photos, and pinups of the-of all the Sonichu... uhh- the Rosechu girls. That uh, that I think'd- [''Chris talks over Falsion''] it'd be kind of fun.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Yeah well for your information it's two syllables, Rose-Chu, not Rose-a-chu it's...

'''Falsion:''' Oh, okay. It's uh- it's uh-

'''Chris:''' [''quietly''] It's okay.

'''Falsion:''' It's west coast dialect.

==== Chris and Sonic Games ====

'''Cameron:''' I'm not sure if it's been asked before Chris, but do you prefer the 2D Sonic games or the 3D ones? Cuz' I like- I like the ones on the Genesis the best...

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] Ahh. [''pause''] Mmm. I think I like 3D better.

'''Falsion:''' Hmm. [''pause''] In my opinion Sonic 3D was the best.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Oh, that one was pretty awesome.

'''Troll:''' Definitely.

'''Chris:''' That was the first- that was the first... 3D attempt at putting Sonic in 3D world, [''Chris slurs his words into an indecipherable mess''] anyway.

'''Troll:''' Actually, my favorite one was where you would take-

[''A troll tries to talk over the first, but the first starts again after a brief pause'']

'''Troll:''' My favorite one was where you would take Sonic and Knuckles and a- and latch Sonic 3 onto it, that was a great game.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

==== Back to the Show ====

'''Falsion:''' Also, um. I was wondering. If you were doing the show, would it be scripted or would it be like an improvisation, unscripted format? And would it have commercial... breaks?

'''Chris:''' Urgh... I would probably improvise, and [[Chris and Money|no commercial breaks]].

'''Falsion:''' O...kay.

[''silence'']

'''Cameron:''' Wait, wait. Commercial breaks... don't you understand how TV works?

[''various trolls talk over each other, Cameron wins'']

'''Cameron:''' How do you think they make money?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I know but uh... [''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Yeah you could actually make money!

'''Chris:''' Yeah well I'm not really sure how to do commercials on that note, so... I might just assume, uh...

'''Cameron:''' Or you could do it like [[wikipedia:Jimmy Kimmel|Jimmy Kimmel]], he does them on his show... live?

'''Falsion:''' You could just do your-

'''Troll:''' -yeah!-

'''Falsion:''' -own multiple cuts, then like, take a break in between them uh- and between like let some stress out, get everything organized-

'''Troll:''' -like the-

'''Falsion:''' -you know.

'''Troll:''' Put an ad commercial there, you in there... insurance [''very unclear''].

'''Troll:''' Or put in like some clips from your [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]] or something. Or put on songs, or-

[''Chris talks over the troll, but he keeps going.'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh no, I-I- [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' -waiting music, or something like that.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I'd have to th- I don't [''voice trails off''] know I'd have to... go think about.

'''Troll:''' Okay.

==== Magazines ====

'''Cameron:''' Oh Chris, um- you remember a troll by the name of, uh, hottie96 on YouTube?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... no I don't.

'''Cameron:''' Oh well you don't? Oh, okay. Well, she [''static''] posted a video... of someone who... sent you... um, [[niggo|African-American]] magazines.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah. Uhh, someone... put-[''static''] uhh, subscribed you- to your subscription for Jet, Essence, and uh... Vibe. And I was wondering-

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Cameron:''' -if those actually ever showed up.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] None of them showed up.

'''Cameron:''' None of them? Oh, okay.

'''Troll:''' Ok good, because you know-

==== Daily Routine ====

'''Troll:''' Actually, I have a question.

[''pause'']

[''audio cut; the question is lost. Presumably, based on Chris's answer, it was about his daily routine.'']

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Yeah, it's- it varies, uh... you know, one day I'll be doing one thing, then next day I'll be doing something else, then some days I have to take a rest. Take- take days off.

'''Troll:''' Y-Yeah, I noticed that. It's like uh... it's like I can never tell like... w-what was it, I forgot what I was going to say.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] It's called a life.

'''Troll:''' Oh, Hamsty is saying... well, what do you do? You don't have a job.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' That was Hamsty and not me.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... sure. Um... [''pause''] I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

'''Troll:''' Hamsty is saying that you don't have a job, I mean, so you must have l-like a lot of free time so, you know, what do you do?

[''audio cut'']

'''Cameron:''' -me!

'''Chris:''' Oh. Mmm.

'''Troll:''' That's lucky.

'''Troll:''' Mmm hmm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah. Oh Chris, I have a question related-

'''Troll:''' Wait, let him answer.

'''Troll:''' Yes, I'm sorry.

'''Troll:''' Don't smother him like that.

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... [''pause''] Yeah I can't really describe my uh... daily schedule on a... whim. At the moment. [''soft 'pong!' in the background''] And uh... Yeah I'd rather not say.

'''Chris:''' I get stressed one day and then I have to ta- then I have to recover.

[''murmur of troll agreement'']

'''Troll:''' I understand Chris.

'''Falsion:''' I mean, you seem kinda busy all the time, I mean...

'''Troll:''' And if you're working on things you like all day, and usually that's how you relieve stress, if you get stressed from that- if you do that to relieve stress the next day, then how is that t-taking a day off?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Uhhm... [''pause''] I don't know. I'm getting ti- these questions uh, I'm feeling uncomfortable with these questions.

==== Chris is Stressed, Moving On ====

'''Troll Chorus:''' Okay.

'''Troll:''' Hamsty has another question though. Since y- [''audio goes extremely quiet here, inaudible'']

[''Presumably, the question was about what Sonichu would sound like.'']

'''Chris:''' Umm... lemme think about that.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I've always wondered what Sonichu sounded like...

'''Chris:''' Umm... lemme think about that.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''Chris uses his 'Sonichu' voice, which is exactly identical to his normal voice, just a little less stressed''] Hey [[Rosechu|Rosey]], I'm gonna go take a swim!

[''shocked pause'']

[''Many trolls join in an approving chorus'']

'''Troll:''' Nice!

'''Troll:''' Yeah that's pretty cool.

[''Many, many voices, too numerous to make out']

'''Troll:''' Really bad-arse.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Troll:''' ...bad, bad, bad...

==== Comics Questions ====

'''Troll:''' So Chris, Chris I had a question- kinda related to the comics. If you could have any, like, major big time company... publish it... uh, who would it be? Like uhh, you know, DC, or Marvel, or someone like that. Would you-

'''Chris:''' uhh-

'''Troll:''' -mind putting it out.

'''Chris:''' -I'd say probably Archie comics.

'''Troll:''' Oh nice, sticking with the classics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Yeah, they did the uh, Sonic comics.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Oh uhh, Chris- um. Cogs had a question, I'll read it... um. Are your comics going to feature any lesbian relationships?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... I don't think so.

'''Cameron:''' Oh? How come?
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|''I'm promoting being straight.'' -- Christian Weston Chandler.]]
'''Chris:''' I'm promoting being straight... for one thing.

'''Cameron:''' Mm hmm!

'''Falsion:''' Ooooh, we thought you were okay with like, lesbians and stuff.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, wi.

'''Chris:''' Well, I mean... I might, I might not I don't know- it just... it's a f- it's an, uh, future thing so... it's uncertain at the moment.

'''Cameron:''' Mmmmmm...

'''Falsion:''' Ahh. O-One thing, you said you wanted the game to go, like, multi-platform between... Nintendo and like the PlayStation, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Well, what I'm confused about isn't- isn't Pokemon like a trademark of Nintendo? How would that work out? There would be a lot of copyright...

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's voice is shrill and hysterical''] I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW, I'm not a business... genius. I don't know. I'm not a business genius.

'''Falsion:''' I was just asking.

[''pause, loud sound of typing in the background'']

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... yeah, I don't yeah I don't- yeah... it's I-it's only a possibility, just a random- just a random idea I had. It's just like- yeah.

[''pause'']

==== Sailor Moon ====

'''Troll:''' Chris, I've just remembered something. Uhh- I- you're good- you're a pretty- you're a pretty big Sailor Moon fan, weren't there some lesbians in Sailor Moon?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] You're thinking of... Sailor Neptune and Uranus. [''Chris uses the other pronunciation of Uranus, [[homos#Fear of being a homo|probably to avoid that whole 'Your Anus' thing.]]'']

'''Troll:''' Yeah!

'''Troll:''' Yes.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I thought what they had was pretty special, I mean, you could do something like that.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'm not sure about that.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh, speaking of Sailor Moon, who's your favorite Sailor Scout?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Oh, um, by the way, speaking of Sailor Moon, what's your favorite Sailor Scout- if you don't mind me asking.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what was the question?

'''Falsion:''' Who is your favorite Sailor Scout, out of the whole group?

'''Troll:''' Sailor Jupiter for me.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Falsion:''' Mine is, um-

[''Chris and Falsion answer at the same time'']

'''Chris:''' I like Mercury.

'''Falsion:''' -Mercury.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah, she was hot.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Troll:''' I liked Chibi-moon.

'''Cameron:''' I liked Sailor Saturn.

'''Troll:''' I haven't got the opportunity to watch that show since it was on-

[''audio cut'']

==== Other Cartoons ====

'''Troll:''' Have you seen [[wikipedia:InuYasha|Inu Yasha]]?

'''Chris:''' Yah.

'''Troll:''' What do you- what did ya' think of it?

'''Chris:''' Good show.

'''Troll:''' Cool, cool. What's your favorite character?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'd say [[wikipedia:List_of_InuYasha_characters#Protagonists|Kagome]].

'''Troll:''' What about- umm, what's some other stuff on... you watch Adult Swim, right? Have you seen [[wikipedia:Code Geass|Code Geese]] [sic]? I think that's what it...

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Code GEASS.

'''Troll:''' Yeah yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I've seen that.

'''Cameron:''' Noodle people!

'''Troll:''' What do you- what do you think of uh, you know uh, you know any characters you like..?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... C- I haven't really gotten into that- gotten really fully into it yet. I mean I watched the bi-

'''Troll:''' -yeah-

'''Chris:''' I mean I started watching it when I... got into Adult Swim because I saw, uh, a Japanese PSP game... that had- that was, uh, had like- had that- those- uh- that was of Code Geass, but uh... and the guy- and the guy- that reminded me of... Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Yo!.

'''Troll:''' Uhh Chris, since I've noticed you like anime and also romantic ones could I recommend like two anime for you, by any chance?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] ...Yeah, sure.

'''Troll:''' A'right, I've got your Skype right here, so I can... I'll PM- I'll PM you the links even? Like, one's called, '[[wikipedia:Higurashi no Naku Koro ni|When They Cry]]' and the other's called '[[wikipedia:List of School Days episodes|School Days]]', which I think you might like most. [''Transcriber's note: Chris is HIGHLY unlikely to enjoy either of these, except for the fact there's a lot of women in them.'']

'''Chris:''' I'll see.

'''Troll:''' Uhrm- Hang on, I'll get you the links. Also-

[''audio cut'']

==== All About Cocks ====

'''Chris:''' -uhh, Super Nintendo and the GameCube. [''pause''] I dunno, for the Super Nintendo I'd like uh... [''pause''] mmm.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Hey Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' When it comes to Anime, do you like girls who are kind of... more-more of a sweet, you know, kind, soft hearted disposition or do you like them to be [[CWCFighter|strong fighters]]?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I like both, actually. [''pause''] But I think I'm uh more into the- I think I'm... like, you know, if I could put, you know, [[Silvana|half-half]].

'''Falsion:''' Oh. I see. Um. Also, on [[Adult Swim]], you ever watch an Anime called- um [[wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|''Shin Chan]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, Shin-Chan.

'''Falsion:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah I mean it's uh, it's okay, but I don't care much for uh... the [[nudes|nudie]] parts. I don't care- I don't care much for [[Speech impediment|dem]] [sic].

[''Another troll talks over Cameron, but his voice is more audible'']

'''Cameron:''' Why don't you like the nude parts, you have a problem with the... human body?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

[''Cameron and the troll talk over each other'']

'''Falsion:''' I mean you [[Sonichu 8|draw it in your comics]] so you must have plenty to say-

'''Cameron:''' [''singing''] You must have hooonor- honooor honor and a peeeenis...

[''silence'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] Yeah I don't like look'n- yeah I just don't like looking at- I-I just- dicks offend me.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. I see. Um, ever seen [[wikipedia:Case Closed|Case Closed]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Uhh. [''pause''] Uhh Chris, remember that one time you drew uhh, [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu with his penis out]]? Were you offended by that or what?

'''Chris:''' I drew it with a condom.

'''Falsion:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' I- I never drew it-

'''Falsion:''' Oh, with a condom it's okay, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Large difference.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' I- I'm sorry man, I'm sorry.

'''Cameron:''' So... how exactly does Sonichu's penis work? It- it slides out...?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' We went through this in the comic, though... You should read the comic.

[''the trolls shout over each other'']

'''Troll Chorus:''' Yeah!

'''Cameron:''' I still don't understand it, kind of.

'''Falsion:''' You must be illiterate, then.

'''Chris:''' Bueh he-[''sic''] First he has to get stiff, and den [''sic''] he has to lean forward to make it come out. I got the idea from-

'''Cameron:''' I don't really me-

'''Chris:''' -I got the idea from the line where he says [[wikipedia:And the Wiener Is...|"Hey, mine goes inside me when I stand up, how do you think I feel?"]]

[''the trolls talk over each other; all dialog inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, Hamsty had a question.

'''Troll:''' Yes. Hamsty asked, "Are you into poop, Chris? Cuz that's a kink-"

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' -Cuz that's kinky, I remember you said you had on... [[dirty, crapped briefs|crapped briefs]].

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Yeah. I don't like poo.

'''Troll:''' No-one does.

'''Falsion:''' Only [[Christian Weston Chandler|sick weirdos]] like poop.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I know I don't.

'''Falsion:''' I won't say much then.

'''Chris:''' What?

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, we were talking to Clyde.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Well I had- well I had up some [[vivitheg's aim chat|cat poo]] now and then, 'n... [''pause''] Uhh-

'''Falsion:''' -did you get a boner?

'''Chris:''' I was trying, I was trying- nnn. What?

[''pause'']

====On Dirty, Crapped Briefs====

'''Falsion:''' Okay, um. Remember [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS#Transcript|that time]] you were arguing with Clyde, 'n... you said you had like, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty crapped briefs]]? Like, why did you say that to him? [''pause''] I'm kinda confused by that.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I was uh- I don't know, he-he caught- I don't know, I was, I was... I don't know why I said it.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. Oh, oh, I- [''Falsion and a troll talk over each other''] remember what happened now.

'''Troll:''' -Yeah, you said you had dirty, crapped briefs. I remember, cuz-cuz he was, he was, calling you on the uhh- um, on- on the um, on the [[nudes|women's underwear thing]]. That's right.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, yeah yeah yeah. That's right. [''pause''] Cuz-

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Brit-Troll:''' No, he was talking about, um, mm. About Chris's... [[barb|mother's]] underwear. And Chris, you said bra and panties were considered underwear, and underwear is a type of clothing, and uh brief [sic] and boxer equals clothing as well.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Falsion:''' I mean, [[lie|that was a pretty good comeback there]] I just wanna know what... motivated it.

'''Chris:''' I don't remember.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Uhh yes, Clyde can be... Clyde can be an arsehole.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, I-I used that once, someone was like- talking crap to me and I told him that and he like, backed away. So yeah, it was a good comeback.

'''Chris:''' [''quiet''] Uhg.

'''Troll:''' I see, um. [''pause'']

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' I dunno, uh... I might. I might.

'''Troll:''' I'm a cat- I'm a cat person too.

'''Brit-Troll:''' I love cats!-

'''Julie:''' [''high pitched screeching''] MEOW!

'''Brit-Troll:''' -I have one.

'''Cameron:''' [''wistfully''] I'd love to have one some day.

'''Falsion:''' I wish I had one. My mother wouldn't let me.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. It's- [''inaudible'']-in my apartment to have one.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, she just- she's just allergic.

'''Troll:''' I had another question, uhh- I remember when like, Clyde was showing off that Rabbichoso thing... and you were like, it's a site for ventilation cracks- where do you come up with that? That's so good.

[''Presumably, this is from a Mumble chat that has not been transcribed yet. I could find no record of what the troll is blabbering about.'']

'''Chris:''' [''skeptical''] Ventilation cracks?

'''Troll:''' Yeah, you said his drawing-

'''Brit-Troll:''' -yeah, what does that mean?-

'''Troll:''' -was like a site for a ventilation cracks.

'''Chris:''' [''high pitched, defensive''] I never said that!

'''Falsion:''' That was an awesome comeback.

'''Troll:''' Yes you did.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] I don't remember saying ventilat- I said that- I said that... I said that was crap.

'''Troll:''' Oooooh.

'''Falsion:''' Ohh, even better diss.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I said it was crap.

'''Troll:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' A'right.

[''pause'']

====Lightening the Mood====

'''Matthew Devoria:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Maybe we should lighten things up a bit. Uhh- Is there anything you [''sudden voice change, voice now quite high pitched''] want to talk about, Chris?

'''Troll:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Nothing... right at the moment, I mean, I'm... trying to get logged in so I can upload the uh... scanned... letter. [''pause''] So y'all can... read it for yourselves.

'''Matthew Devoria:''' [''faint''] Did you get- [''audio cut'']

'''Troll:''' Yeeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I'll do- I'll do that eventually. [''pause''] Y'know, soon enough.

[''The trolls all talk over each other, encouraging him to upload it.'']

'''Troll:''' Wait, Chris is trying to talk!

'''Chris:''' Uh, those uh, ju-for your information they are not lost episodes, they are just removable deleted scenes. You know, they can work one way with them or one way with- or another way without 'em. It's just the way I designed it. [pause] Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Also, um, Rosie has a question she typed, she's wondering if you were considering undergoing speech therapy because you seem to have pronouncin-, trouble pronouncing uh, 'th', and all that stuff.

'''Chris:''' I took speech therapy during my early childhood years.

'''Cameron:''' Hmm

'''Brit-Troll:''' Oh me too! I had- I have- I still have troubles pronouncing 'r' words and then-then they just told me it was like a problem with my jaw.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Troll:''' Also, um, I had a younger brother, true story, that, he couldn't pronounce certain words when he was in kindergarten so yellow he couldn't do y sounds, he was like, 'lellow'. But, going through speech therapy, he's actually overcome it. He's actually a very impressive linguist now.

'''Chris:''' Oh, well that's good. You know I can imitate somebody who doesn't have their two front teeth even though I do have my two front teeth?

'''Troll:''' Oh. Could we hear?

'''Chris:''' [soul-crushing imitation] All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth! My two front teeth! All I want for Chwiss-mathh itth my two fwont teeth!

[trolls start out giggling, devolving into guffaws]

'''Troll:''' That was hilarious.

'''Chris:''' Yeah that's Spike Jones' classic. That you hear every Christmas.

'''Troll:''' It is a classic.

'''Cameron:''' Okay but uh, there's two questions on the side, from Monsieur Parfait: Hey Chris! What are you feelings on the PS3 being the main pick for the gay community and gay online gaming community, using PSN as their main social network-

'''Chris:''' Ok, you can stop right there 'cause you're bothering me. You can stop right there 'cause you're bothering me.

'''Troll:''' We'll toss that question out. Let's move on.

===Communism===

'''Cameron:''' Hamsty wants to know what you think of China. I guess he means the country, so...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a good country.

'''Troll:''' You like Chinese food?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's alright.

'''Troll 2:''' So wait, you're saying that communism is good? That's not very American of you.

'''Troll:''' No, that's not-

'''Chris:''' Wait, wait what?

[Chris and Troll 2 talk over each other]

'''Troll 2:''' Communism-

'''Chris:''' Food.

'''Troll 2:''' No, you sai-no you were asked what you think of China. You said you thought it was good. So you're saying that communism is good?

'''Chris:''' What-no. I did not say that. I just said that the country was good.

'''Troll 2:''' Yeah- that-

'''Brit-Troll:''' The country isn't that same as its government, though.

'''Troll 2:''' No, yes it is, yes it is! They support the communist-

'''Troll:''' Oh you be quiet.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you be quiet, he's had enough.

===Cwcville Work Force===

'''Troll:''' I was just wondering one thing about uh Cwcville, um, do the people in Cwcville have to work or do they get money from the government?

'''Chris:''' S- yes, it's pretty much like real life, some work, some don't some get eh- you know it's just like- basically real life. Matching there.

'''Troll:''' Oh, so like, everyone has to like, work and stuff?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Dude I got the images up, I just uh, put up the link there.

[trolls respond approvingly]

'''Troll:''' Sonichu and Rosechu, do they have a job? Do they have a job or what, because I never like see 'em working in the comic, I'm kinda confused.

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh] Well, it's just like a whole- hmm, there's too many details to figure out there so just- you could just assume that you know there are so many tall buildings, so many office buildings, so many stores and all that, you could assume that a lot- that most everybody is working.

'''Troll:''' So what like, what's Sonichu's job?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Troll:''' What's uh, Sonichu's job.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Well shoot he's uh...[pause] Well, he protects Cwcville, for one thing.

'''Troll:''' Does he get paid for it?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much give him- give him his own privileges.

'''Troll:''' Oh so like everything is free for him?

'''Troll:''' Isn't that an abuse of power? You were democratically elected weren't you?

'''Troll:''' Ok, you need to shut up, really.

'''Troll:''' Someone kick out Crass.

'''Troll:''' Crass, you're acting like an asshole.

'''Troll:''' Chris, I kicked him.

'''Chris:''' Good. Yeah,he was be- he was being very annoying.

'''Troll:''' He has an annoying voice, too.

'''Troll:''' He's also gay.

'''Troll:''' Yeah he's a homo.

[huffing into mic]

'''Troll:''' Yeah anyway.

'''Troll:''' So what about Rosechu, does she work?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I haven't really thought about- uh, nah- nah- I'd say- nah- she's got same-no. She's got privileges too.

'''Troll:''' Oh, that's cool.

'''Chris:''' But you know its like I couldn't- it's not like I couldn't offer her like a, job or something, I just never really thought about giving the hedgehogs anything-a job- giving the hedgehogs jobs.[troll talks over Chris] Just never came up.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I'm just saying, they always seem to be like, you know, on their like, time off, or like having- on spring breaks and stuff, I just wondered if any of the characters like worked, or what.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I never really thought about them having jobs. I just-

'''Brit-Troll:''' Well, in a way, their job is to protect Cwcville and, and when they do i bet its really hard and they need all they can-

'''Troll:''' Oh, they all protect Cwcville?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Oh, I thought it was just Sonichu's job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[pause]

===More Anime Suggestions===

'''Troll:''' Alright, uh, anyone else have any questions?

'''Logan:''' Uh, yes, uh did you happen to get my uh, pm, Chris? On Skype?

'''Chris:''' Um, uh, are you Logan?

'''Logan:''' Yes, that's me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I got them.

'''Logan:''' Alright.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Logan:''' Uh, just download that later of your own free leisure.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Logan:''' It's a highly recommended one. It's what...Julie got me into a little while back.

'''Chris:''' [annoyed] Oh. I see.

'''Logan:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah it's, it's made by sonic game, actually.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should really play with us.

'''Chris:''' Uh, what on your uh, your PS online thing?

'''Julie:''' No um, Phantasy Star Online, yeah, you should play with us.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, Ph- oh- yeah I'll think about that. Oh yeah I just- yeah I was just- yeah I was just uh...uh yeah, uh Logan you were talking about the one your anime was uh, it's out- dynas-destiny?

'''Logan:''' Uh no it's uh, there's two I was trying to make you watch, uh, one is called [[wikipedia:Higurashi When They Cry|When They Cry]] and the other is-

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Yeah I see that. Alright well yeah I'll just- yeah well I'll just download the torrents and all. Download them- from the torrents. Later on. I have uh- I have- I have the uh, I have a- Limewire.

'''Troll:''' Oh I- yeah, I use that too, every now and then.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

===Spice Girls===

'''Troll:''' Also um, Monsieur Parfait also asked you um, uh who was your favorite Spice Girl, Christian, and why?

'''Chris:''' Spice Girl. Uh, I'm not really sure. But I do- But I do- But I ''did'' like Spice Girls. I just never really thought of which one was my favorite.

'''Brit-Troll:''' I liked Emma, Baby Spice.

'''Troll:''' I liked Scary Spice 'cause she's scary.

'''Troll:''' I liked Sporty, she seemed pretty nice.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' [uninterested] Yeah.

[pause]

===The History of Cwcville===

'''Troll:''' So Chris, when was Cwcville founded?

'''Chris:''' Hmm...I've gi- I gave that some thought, I just uh, haven't uh, made it official yet. But mmm...yeah I- yeah I figure that uh, for the origin story of Cwcville, basically it was founded by my father. And he named it- and he named it after- me, cause I was just born. Cause I woulda just been born.

'''Troll:''' And it would be like, your legacy and stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' So it would be born in- so it would have been founded in...1982?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

===On Copyrights===

'''Troll:''' Oh that's pretty neat. Um, Chris, I was wondering, um, do you remember um, people were talking about like, you- you say you copyrighted Sonichu around the year 2000, and um people were um say-, people were otherwise claiming that um, maybe you didn't have it copyrighted, maybe that it's not in the database but, I was wondering, to prove them wrong, can you show us the copyright? [wheedling] Can you show us your copyright for Sonichu?

'''Chris:''' Oh...what are you talking about, like uh, papers and such?

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Mostly- yeah well mostly I just did like uh, what my father told me-what my father told me was viable, little c-in-a circle.

'''Troll:''' Uh, the, instant one. Well, there's also um, registered copyrights or um-[Chris interrupts]

'''Chris:''' Yeah well- yeah well actually I did pay 35 bucks to uh...[talking to himself] hang on I got you on book mark...uh, shoot- Oh yeah, to the Library of Congress, I paid them 35 bucks for- for a copyright on that but I haven't heard any- I haven't heard anything back from them.

'''Troll:''' Oh, w-when did that happen?

'''Chris:''' Years ago.

'''Troll:''' Oh, I see.

'''Troll:''' You know, you should try to get a new copyright, maybe they'll listen this time.

'''Troll:''' Or, what you can do is um, go to um, copyrights.gov, that's actually where I had them copyright a patent one time.

'''Chris:''' I see, hmm.

'''Troll:''' The rate's like 45 dollars now, but I mean, an extra ten bucks, I don't think it would hurt.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, I'll consider that.

'''Troll:''' I mean there's rumors that Clyde might be able to forge uh, forge documents to get it copyrighted before you, maybe you should get on that. I mean I-

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh, pause] Well anyway uh, importantly did uh, y'all see the letter I've uploaded.

'''Troll:''' Yeah that's right.

[audio skipping, windows beeping, long pause]

'''Troll:''' I've been wondering, what does Cwc cola taste like?

'''Troll:''' Actually, this doesn't look real at all. I mean uh, Nintendo Of America, Incorporated, aren't they called uh- wait, wait a second hold on-

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah it's Nintendo of America, ''Inc''

'''Troll:''' Hmm

'''Troll:''' I don't know, this doesn't look- legit for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I mean look at the letterhead!

'''Troll:''' It's easy to fake a letterhead though, you know.

'''Troll:''' Yeah you can even buy one of those.

'''Troll:''' I mean I could copy and paste and put that into, you know, a word template or something like that.

'''Chris:''' No, that's a real signature.

'''Troll:''' What people can do is like, sometimes they just plain take the signature from another paper and they can put it on anything else and s-

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh]

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I mean like, ok it's been like, it's actually serious offenses as well, it's like, people are copyrighting um, signatures, it's like identity theft.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I'll tell you what I'll do, Chris. One of my other cousins is a uh, he's a forensics analysis...guy. He uh, he reads like, notes people leave at the scene of a crime or letters from criminal cases and he can tell when something's fake or, someone like, you know, there was a case one time when someone murdered someone, and they forged a suicide note but they took [it to] him and he read it and looked to make sure that it was actually, you know, they wanted to see whether or not it was real, and he can spot a fake like, you know, like nothing.

'''Chris:''' All right well you do what you want.

'''Troll:''' Ok.

===A Wild Clyde Appears!===

'''Chris:''' All right well- all right well it's been fun but uh, I'm gonna head home now, I should get something to eat and uh-

'''Julie:''' Uh oh, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yes, Julie?

'''Julie:''' He's here...

[trolls groan]

'''Chris:''' Well then it's a good time to...

'''Clyde:''' Well, wait! What do you say to one last showdown?

'''Troll:''' We don't even want you in here Clyde, what are you doing here?

'''Clyde:''' [says something about Julie] She might not admit, but she's worried for the future with you.

'''Troll:''' [super dramatic voice] Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!

'''Troll:''' Wow, that's gonna threaten him.

'''Clyde:''' C'mon Julie, admit it.

'''Chris:''' Hey Clyde, you can lay off-

'''Julie:''' I talked to him, but that's it.

'''Troll:''' Clyde, you're worthless [unintelligible]

'''Troll:''' Clyde you are an asshole.

'''Chris:''' Everybody pipe down. Everybody pipe down.

'''Troll:''' Fuck you Clyde.

'''Chris:''' Clyde, I talked to Vivian. And everything's o- and everything's okay. You can lay off.

'''Clyde:''' No, I refuse to lay off. '''Forget''' whatever the '''bitch''' says! Alright? 'Cause '''I've''' been talking with Julie, and '''she's''' gonna have a miserable life if she '''goes''' with you. '''I've''' been talking to her '''goddamn''' parents, and they're gonna fucking take her away. [pause] Tell me Chris...

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you can, Clyde, just lay off- we- I know that Vivian-

'''Clyde:''' Julie I- Julie- come on-

'''Chris:''' -I know that Vivian has asked you to uh, just to try to pick on- to pick on me to get me to clean up my room and I did clean up my room. I got- I held up my end of the bargain so why don't you just leave us alone?

'''Clyde:''' Look, it's not enough, it's by '''Julie's''' request. Not Vivian's, not mine, but '''Julie's''' request. She just couldn't have the balls to tell you.

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh]

'''Clyde:''' Right Julie?

'''Julie:''' Ummm...yes.

'''Clyde:''' She's '''worried''' and '''I'm''' trying to get it '''to''' you, through your little head, that's '''she''' is just gonna break it off if '''you''' don't clean up your god-damned act.

'''Chris:''' Julie, you se- I did clean up my room.

'''Clyde:''' That's not all. Tell me Chris, do you pay your taxes?

'''Chris:''' Mmm...I don't have to pay my taxes.

'''Clyde:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' My family - my family helps me manage my taxes, and I don't have that much uh, income to tax.

'''Clyde:''' But either way- but when your parents are gone who's gonna help you do the taxes?

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh] I'll worry about that when that- when I cross that bridge.

'''Clyde:''' God- oh come- you have to know now, you're 26 years old, you musta paid taxes a couple times. You gotta figure that out, man.

'''Chris:''' I paid sales tax.

'''Clyde:''' [sigh] Chris, you have a credit card right. So how- how- how much debt do you have on that card?

'''Chris:''' I take- I plead the fifth.

'''Clyde:''' You plead the fifth? Ohhh, come on, Julie '''has''' to know about your financial situation.

'''Chris:''' If Julie wants to know she and I can dis- discuss it in private. We don't need you to uh-

'''Julie:''' Chris...Clyde does have somewhat of a point. I '''am''' kind of worried about... the future.

'''Clyde:''' I'm just trying to help here. If you two went on your crazy ass marriage you two would have been divorced in a month. I'm trying to goddamn help. You better answer me.

'''Chris:''' Fine, I have a huge credit card debt.

'''Clyde:''' Well how much? I would like to quantify this so I can do some calculations.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...nearly 2K.

'''Clyde:''' Ugh, man. And you said you had a savings of one hundred? That leaves you with one thousand, nine hundred. To start a marriage with. You are screwed!

'''Chris:''' No, I pay it off in monthly payments.

'''Clyde:''' And how long, do you think it will take you to pay it off?

'''Chris:''' Due time.

'''Clyde:''' It's going to take you ''years'' to pay that off. Tell me, how much do you pay off each month?

'''Chris:''' I pay off about a hundred each month.

'''Clyde:''' You do know that's compound with interest, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' It's going to take you ''ten'' years to pay that off if you keep doing minimum payments.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Clyde:''' What-what is your credit score?

'''Chris:''' I don't know my credit score.

'''Clyde:''' You should look that up. You get for free, once a year, from three different companies. You should get it and report back to me, okay? Because Julie doesn't understand this, but I do, and I can help you with this. I'm just trying to goddamn help you. Don't take this as an insult, but if you want your marriage ruined, fine.

'''Chris:''' Well Clyde, I'll tell you what. If you wanna help me, you can come see me in person and we can talk about this.

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I say something?

'''Chris:''' Yes Julie?

'''Julie:''' You could try getting a job. That could also help, when we do get married.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, when the time comes and I decide-and uh, and ah-when the decision comes that I'll have to get a job then I will.

'''Julie:''' Alright, thank you.

'''Clyde:''' But you don't have any capital now! You don't have any money now!

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you've done enough.

'''Clyde:''' Really? That's just the tip of the iceberg. I mean, what-what's the-can you even cook?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.

'''Clyde:''' What can you cook?

'''Chris:''' I can cook anything that's within my cookbook.

'''Clyde:''' What is your favorite thing to cook for Julie. I'm sure she'd love to know.

'''Chris:''' A good chicken noodle soup.

'''Clyde:''' Fantastic. Doesn't that sound delicious, Julie?

'''Julie:''' [''on the brink of tears''] It could be...I don't know!

'''Chris:''' Julie don't listen to-Julie don't listen to Clyde.

'''Clyde:''' She's not worried about me, she's worried about your future.

'''Chris:''' Julie, you don't have to worry, we'll work it out!

'''Julie:''' But Chris, I am worried!

'''Clyde:''' And another thing, Chris. How much fast food do you eat goddamn!

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I suggest something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' You could better yourself, you could take...lessons and you could get a really high paying job. I just wanna suggest that cause I'm really...I will admit, I am worried about the future, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Julie, I understand your concern. And you don't have to worry, I'll get myself a jo-I'll get a-I'll get myself a job soon enough, I'll would like it-I would appreciate it if you would still have faith in me and have faith in the future.

'''Julie:''' Alright, I'm still somewhat unsure...

'''Clyde:''' [talking over Julie] You're going to have faith when you don't see any action?

'''Julie:''' ...but, I can. But Chris, what job will you get?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I tried to, uh, get best job there is available around here, that I could get from, umm, from my previous experiences at least and my CADD degrees and whatnot.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Clyde:''' You haven't looked, have you? You're lying, aren't you?

'''Chris:''' You're right, I haven't looked, but that doesn't mean I can't ''start'' looking so I can start looking!

'''Julie:''' Chris, I've-I've been thinking, and I think Clyde really is trying to help us. You need to help Clyde help us, do you know what I mean?

'''Clyde:''' You have been lying to Julie about looking for a job? Christ Almighty, how much have you lied to her?

'''Chris:''' But, Clyde, I'm willing to accept your help, but you do not need to be having such an insultive tone that you're giving off.

'''Clyde:''' Chris, there's a reason why I do this. I am the last resort, okay? I am the last chance for you to salvage any type of relationship with ''any'' woman. Y'know, you can sweet talk a woman, you can sweet talk any of your Sonichu Girls, but you know what? Within a month, you'll be divorced by Every. Single. One.

'''Chris:''' I did-that doesn't mean-I mean I never said that we'd have to get married right away, I never said that.

'''Clyde:''' Even then when you two are living together-it's not about marriage, it's about ''being together'', even.

[''long pause'']

'''Chris:''' Well like I said when the time comes I'll deal with it at my own pace, but, y'know right now I can and I promised Julie that I will-

'''Clyde:''' Don't deal it at your pace, deal it at your relationship's pace. AKA, you and Julie. Don't be selfish.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I've been doing some research in Christianity. Isn't that what you said you had-what you followed?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' And I read it, and apparently there's no sex before marriage, it's God's way.

'''Chris:''' Well, actually, uh, actually, under the Methodist faith, it's-uh, it's okay.

'''Julie:''' Alright, but I'm still wondering. It is God's way, maybe, wait who is it?

'''Chris:''' It's-uh it's okay Julie. Julie, I tried-

'''Julie:''' No! How is it alright, though?

'''Chris:''' As long as you and I and we love each other truly.

'''Julie:''' Hnm.

'''Clyde:''' Okay. Okay, okay, I got another question. What- How much- What kind of, I mean, do you cook for yourself? Every week? Or you do go out for fast-food or something.

'''Chris:''' I cook myself- for myself the majority of the week.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Hnmm. Chris, what do you make?

'''Clyde:''' Or do you just go out to eat?

'''Chris:''' I did not go out to eat every day of the week, Clyde.

'''Clyde:''' But how often?

'''Chris:''' I'd say probably 2 or 3- 2 or 3 meals out of the week.

'''Clyde:''' So the rest of the time, you cook. Right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' Wha- what, so? What do you cook? For yourself, that is.

'''Chris:''' I cook for myself a lot of things.

'''Clyde:''' Like what? I mean, Julie would love to know what you can cook, so she have uh, you know, feeling what her diet might be.

'''Julie:''' Yes, what do you make for yourself? I don't mean to side with Clyde, but, what do you make for yourself?

'''Chris:''' I make uh, I make myself some veget- some vegetables and uh, meat, some soups... depends on what I have with me after shopping has happened.

'''Clyde:''' You cook for your parents, then, right?

'''Chris:''' No, my parents, they pretty much take care of themselves.

'''Clyde:''' That's...kinda selfish that you don't cook for them. I mean, your living with them.

'''Chris:''' Well, they have their- they live on two separated- their downstairs and I'm upstairs.

'''Clyde:''' Goddamn, I mean, you just, move out! I mean, Christ. Julie would- Julie, do you feel confortable with Chris's parents-

'''Chris:''' I'd like to move out but it's kinda hard for me to know my destination, and I'm not sure what my destination would be when I move out. At this time. But uh, after Julie, after Julie moves here and finds her apartment, I'm willing to move out of my house and move in with her.

'''Clyde:''' And how much do you think you gonna support Julie? I mean, you said you gonna be the house husband, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' So why isn't YOU looking for the house and not her?

'''Chris:''' I'll wait- I'll wait for Julie to come here and she and I can go looking together.

'''Julie:''' ...Chris? Can I tell you something, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I did some math, and 800 dollars a month is not only—interrupted by Windows bleeps—part-time and the family is more than that.

'''Chris:''' Uh...by the family, you mean, you and me?

'''Julie:''' I believe so, yes.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. *sigh* Alright, well, yeah, well, I will definitely work into finding a job. I promise you, Julie.

'''Julie:''' I am not sure if I can get many jobs, you know, as I am considered immigrant.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I understand. I'll look for it. I'll look for work.

'''Julie:''' Thank you, Chris.

'''Clyde:''' And what you gonna look for?

'''Chris:''' *big sigh* Depends on uh, who's hiring around here and what I can find avaliable to me that's, uh works with my abilities.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should try and get one now, so you could help saving money for renting day.

'''Chris:''' I will think about that.

'''Clyde:''' I mean what kind of position are you looking for?

'''Chris:''' Can't say right now, because... just came- this whole- this just came with the spur of the moment.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you gotta look for a dream job or something, right?

'''Chris:''' *sigh* I never had a dream job.

'''Clyde:''' He's never had... you've never even thought about getting that perfect job- ever?

'''Chris:''' I just never had, just never had a job occurred in a dream.

'''Clyde:''' I don't mean literally! It just means something that you would like to do for the rest of your life.

'''Chris:''' Well, when it comes to work, I'm just not short- I'm just not sure.

'''Julie:''' -worried.

'''Chris:''' Aww. But Julie, Julie, for the best of abilities I'm willing to uh, go out and work and find something that I can do. I mean, even- even if it's an office job.

'''Julie:''' Uh...

'''Clyde:''' What do you do everyday, Chris? What you do? I mean, you don't have a job, you play videogames, what else do you do?

'''Chris:''' *SIGH* I do a lot, I dot a lot of things everyday.

'''Clyde:''' That was not specific enough. I want to know how you do your time management--

[''weird noises'']

'''Chris:''' Well because currently I am without a job- because currently, without a job, it's kind of- it's kinda varies from day to day. But I am willing to get a job and make it more solid for the day-to-day of my future.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you- what do you do at home, do you just sit there? Hoping money is going to fly to you or something?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Clyde:''' Then, what do you do?

'''Chris:''' I do a lot of creative things, like- yeah, yesterday I cleaned up my room.

'''Julie:''' Actually, Chris, what do you do everyday? I'm wondering.

[''awkward silence'']

'''Julie:''' ...Chris?

'''Chris:''' I am, yeah, I'm just thinking.

[''more silence'']

'''Chris:''' Mostly I'm creative. But I have things to do everyday.

'''Clyde:''' You're not being specific enough, you're just saying ''I have things''. What? Do you just jack-off all day?

'''Chris:''' NO!

'''Clyde:''' Well, what do you do?

'''Chris:''' Right now I don't have a very solid schedule, like you know, what I do on a day-to-day basis.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you could at least gone to school and, you know, get something.

'''Chris:''' I did go to school and I did get something...

'''Clyde:''' Go to school again.

'''Chris:''' ...and I'm willing to get a job and—I'm willing to get a job based on what I have learned from my school days.

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? Chris? Chris, can I say something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' As long you're on your free time, you should really try to work more on you comic and make as much money as you can, because that's kinda is your job, at least right now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Julie:''' So can you work harder on the comic?

'''Clyde:''' *laugh* You fail at that, the only thing with your time it's make those Sonichu comics and you can only pop one out every four months, having my brother- GODDAMN YOU CHRIS.

'''Chris:''' Julie, I promise to work harder and more swifting on my comics.

'''Julie:''' Alright, thank you.

'''Chris:''' I will- I'm gonna- I gonna heel now I'll talk to you later, Julie.

'''Clyde:''' Just another of my goddamn words, Chris.

'''Julie:''' Chris, one last thing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' About the comics, you should try and get one of these monthly or at least bi-monthly.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' And how you're gonna make money with that? You're just wasting your time.

'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris

'''Chris:''' Uh?

'''Julie:''' Are you still gonna play burnout?

'''Chris:''' Tonight, yeah.

'''Julie:''' We are-

'''Clyde:''' And that's what you do with your spare time, play Burnout. Ha ha ha.

'''Chris:''' CLYDE, SHUT UP. I'll talk to you later, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Okay, I'll turn on my PS3.

'''Chris:''' Ich baan schwill, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Okay. Ich bin schwul.

[''Chris disconnects'']

'''Clyde:''' SKAJSHRLA oh-

'''Bluespike:''' Haha! Oh! He said ''I'm gay'' What a faggot! Did y'all hear that? Chris is gay! He says so himself!

[''Trolls talk over each other'']

'''Troll:''' You actually got him to say it!

'''Troll:''' But you said it as well, so I don't know, man...

'''Bluespike:''' Oh oh. You're right. STAY ST-RAIGHT.

'''Troll:''' Goddamnit Bluespike, you wanna play videogame-

[''random shit'']

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