CWCki - User contributions [en]

Bob Chandler

2015-06-08T00:17:43Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|The Internet Lumberjack]] 
Mr. C
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 [[September 2011]] (aged {{Age|1927|9|4|2011|9|6}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/4th [[Cherokee]]<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>)
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Patricia (c.1960-????) 
[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| Dr. David Alan Chandler 
Carol Suzanne Chandler 
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Grandchildren'''
| [[Savannah Chandler]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father) Jean Holloman (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}

'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]- 6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]];<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> his nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still widely viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]]. This is due to Bob being somewhat concerned with Chris's behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in his life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising the selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb he at least made the effort.

Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. Whether in person or over the phone Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone.

Bob died of complications from heart failure on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref>

==Biography==
Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and was, according to his freshman Auburn University yearbook, raised in [[Wikipedia:Sylacauga, Alabama|Sylacauga, Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6</ref>), an Insurance Agent from Alabama, and Jean Holloman (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M</ref>-10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8</ref>), a Housewife from Texas.<ref>http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg (Mirror: [[:File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg]])</ref> Bob mentioned having a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref>
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|right|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]

Bob has said that he was "interested in the world" around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign stamps as a child in the [[1930s]]. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> It is not clear how this collection fared in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]], but it was apparently not a total loss, as Chris offered to sell some of the albums to [[Catherine]]'s cousin Al in late 2014.

===Service and education===
Bob was drafted out of College as a special draftee who apparently had knowledge that the Army desired (Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/4124/rec/14]) in 1946 after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. He was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal due to the dates of his service and his service number was 44107856 [http://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?dt=893&mtch=11&tf=F&q=Chandler&bc=&sort=24996%20desc&rpp=10&pg=4&rid=8565331&rlst=5136538,4652469,8564216,1000879,987835,4549799,991002,8565331,5188385,8565346]. When he got out in 1947 he went back to school for Electrical Engineering and graduated in 1952 (page 269 of the 1952 yearbook) [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/16173/rec/20] [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />
[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|left|Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.]]

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn a type of engineering degree, although it's never specified (mechanical, electrical etc.).<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===
Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] as an engineer for forty years. There he designed a variety of electrical subsystems. He eventually went to work for General Electric in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon".<ref name="Barbara" />

Examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob Chandler learning how to cut that internet down ]]

Politically, Bob was identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/> With that being said, in the time leading to the [[wikipedia:Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|Virginia gubernatorial election of 2009]], Bob had misgivings about [[wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]], the Republican candidate and eventual winner of the election. Bob and Chris considered the option of writing in Snoopy rather than voting for any of the candidates listed on the ballot.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Later life and poor health===

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to [[Trolls|total strangers]] on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob had had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple bypass operations took place in August, 1980. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at [[Burger King]] daily.<ref>[[Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris]]</ref><ref>[[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)]]</ref>

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|tweeted]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose [[Ego|when Chris was inclined to complain about it online]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,<ref>[[Wikipedia:Congenital Heart Failure|Wikipedia: Congenital Heart Failure]]</ref> but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a very serious situation.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. His silence on the subject of his father may have been because of [[Naive|genuine ignorance]] of the seriousness of his father's condition, or simply (and more likely) the [[Chris and remorse|callous]] [[Autism|indifference]] [[Chris and his ego|we've come to expect]] from Chris when he sees [[Chris and death|other people suffering]].

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."<ref>[[:File:Bobbetter.jpg]]</ref> Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well." Chris was, at least, half right.

A breakdown of Bob's final months reads as follows.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer of some description.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 23 April 2011, in an e-mail to Jackie, Chris revealed that Bob had received surgery for colon cancer.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_24]]</ref>

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and, like Barb, vehemently disapproved of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now deeply entrenched in his [[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirlish ways]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and was suffering from [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]].

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" />

==Cause of Death==
Despite the fairly clear-cut nature of the lumberjack's passing, Chris has since declared that the [[trolls]] were responsible for Bob's death. In an [[Misc_E-mails|email]] leaked on 22 [[March 2014]], Chris claims that the stress of his trolling led to Bob's heart attack. This keeps in the trend Chris has developed of blaming any and all misfortunes (even those faced by everyone, like burying a family member) on trolls.
{{quote|AND the total [[stress]] KILLED my Father Prematurely; if not for those Trolls, he would still be alive, and would have likely lived beyond 2015.|Chris.}}
Even for Chris this is appalling behavior; using the '''death of his own father''' as a vehicle to play the victim and attempt to stave off trolls. While it's not uncommon for those who have lost loved ones to blame their deaths on external causes (however impossible or insane, as in this case) Chris' actions are motivated purely out of selfishness and egotism - business as usual.

==Obituary==
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

* Text going into [[autism|unusual detail]] about what Bob did at General Electric.
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to [[Chris and money|donate money to Barbara and Chris]].

===Original text===
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''

:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''

:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''

:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''

:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''

:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''

:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. <ref name="BobObit" />

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia.<ref name="BobObit" /> She's most likely the mother of his two other children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], with both of whom he was out of contact in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Chris did not know he had a niece, via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>, and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more strained. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and last they heard she was working for the government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops," <ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.]]

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography such as [[Julie|Europe]] and [[PandaHalo|Australia]], but he thought (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's racist joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time[sic], and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. The antagonism to which Chris refers is likelier to be Bob attempting to constructively criticise Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.

An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, and seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris would still run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his Ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his Ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to be the origin of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that (not to mention what accomplishments he was referring to), or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank"><s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</s> (dead link as of Jul 2014)</ref>

He seemed never to get past the notion that Chris could and had achieved things, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiralling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris is not a total sociopath.

In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris actually honored his father's memory since the latter's passing in [[September 2011]].

==In memoriam==
[[File:Chandler_Niche.jpg|thumb|left|Bob's final resting place.]]

Bob is often seen as a gregarious, hard-working man ([[Ruckersville|all things considered]]). Trying ([[Destruction Of Chris's House|albeit without]] [[26 December 2014|success]]) to refine Chris into someone that could at least pass for a responsible adult, giving him mock job interviews and [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|chaperoning him on dates]], where he proved (unsurprisingly) more adept at charming the date than Chris.

However, we also have Bob to thank for some of his son's more [[Homos|backwards]] [[Niggos|worldviews]]. He was also supposedly an [[Cole|abusive stepfather]]; he certainly managed to alienate his other children enough that they didn't attend his funeral, or keep in touch while he was alive. Much like his son, little of what he said or believed had any connection to [[reality]], and he helped Chris to construct [[Matthew Noble call|bizarre]] [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]] to justify [[Chris and the law|trespassing and the like]], among [[Ego|other things]]. He, like Barbara, enabled Chris's parasitic dependence on them, general immaturity and irresponsibility, and his myriad of other flaws. He never made any serious effort to improve his preening, arrogant son, even when he caught him [[Bob walks in|masturbating]] in the kitchen.

Ultimately, few remember Bob as a positive influence on Chris, although he was of course a little more preferable to his wife.

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).

* [[1990]]: Bob appeared as the DJ to the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the [[Chris in the media|Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the house tour, (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Bob1946Auburn.jpg|Bob's Auburn freshman yearbook photo.
Image:Thehell.jpg|
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|Bob used to enjoy gardening back in the day.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|
File:Bob2.png|Last known photo.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2011
| Maker = TheSevenRiders
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}
| Stardate = 11 September 2011
| Maker = 8x13Wolf
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = RIP Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}
| Stardate = 29 September 2011
| Maker = furnacewoodsband
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sources==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

==External Links==
* [http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=80567090 Bob Chandler at Find a Grave]

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Bob Chandler

2015-06-08T00:04:19Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|The Internet Lumberjack]] 
Mr. C
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 [[September 2011]] (aged {{Age|1927|9|4|2011|9|6}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/4th [[Cherokee]]<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>)
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Patricia (c.1960-????) 
[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| Dr. David Alan Chandler 
Carol Suzanne Chandler 
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Grandchildren'''
| [[Savannah Chandler]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father) Jean Holloman (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}

'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]- 6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]];<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> his nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still widely viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]]. This is due to Bob being somewhat concerned with Chris's behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in his life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising the selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb he at least made the effort.

Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. Whether in person or over the phone Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone.

Bob died of complications from heart failure on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref>

==Biography==
Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and was, according to his freshman Auburn University yearbook, raised in [[Wikipedia:Sylacauga, Alabama|Sylacauga, Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6</ref>), an Insurance Agent from Alabama, and Jean Holloman (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M</ref>-10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8</ref>), a Housewife from Texas.<ref>http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg (Mirror: [[:File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg]])</ref> Bob mentioned having a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref>
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|right|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]

Bob has said that he was "interested in the world" around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign stamps as a child in the [[1930s]]. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> It is not clear how this collection fared in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]], but it was apparently not a total loss, as Chris offered to sell some of the albums to [[Catherine]]'s cousin Al in late 2014.

===Service and education===
Bob was drafted out of College as a special draftee who apparently had knowledge that the Army desired (Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/4124/rec/14]) in 1946 after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. He was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal due to the dates of his service and his service number was 44107856 [http://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?dt=893&mtch=11&tf=F&q=Chandler&bc=&sort=24996%20desc&rpp=10&pg=4&rid=8565331&rlst=5136538,4652469,8564216,1000879,987835,4549799,991002,8565331,5188385,8565346]. When he got out in 1947 he went back to school for Electrical Engineering and graduated in 1952 (page 269 of the 1952 yearbook) [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/16173/rec/20] [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />
[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|left|Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.]]

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn a type of engineering degree, although it's never specified (mechanical, electrical etc.).<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===
Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] as an engineer for forty years. There he designed a variety of electrical subsystems. He eventually went to work for General Electric in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon".<ref name="Barbara" />

Examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob Chandler learning how to cut that internet down ]]

Politically, Bob was identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/> With that being said, in the time leading to the [[wikipedia:Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|Virginia gubernatorial election of 2009]], Bob had misgivings about [[wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]], the Republican candidate and eventual winner of the election. Bob and Chris considered the option of writing in Snoopy rather than voting for any of the candidates listed on the ballot.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Later life and poor health===

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to [[Trolls|total strangers]] on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob had had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple bypass operations took place in August, 1980. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at [[Burger King]] daily.<ref>[[Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris]]</ref><ref>[[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)]]</ref>

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|tweeted]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose [[Ego|when Chris was inclined to complain about it online]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,<ref>[[Wikipedia:Congenital Heart Failure|Wikipedia: Congenital Heart Failure]]</ref> but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a very serious situation.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. His silence on the subject of his father may have been because of [[Naive|genuine ignorance]] of the seriousness of his father's condition, or simply (and more likely) the [[Chris and remorse|callous]] [[Autism|indifference]] [[Chris and his ego|we've come to expect]] from Chris when he sees [[Chris and death|other people suffering]].

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."<ref>[[:File:Bobbetter.jpg]]</ref> Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well." Chris was, at least, half right.

A breakdown of Bob's final months reads as follows.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer of some description.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 23 April 2011, in an e-mail to Jackie, Chris revealed that Bob had received surgery for colon cancer.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_24]]</ref>

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and, like Barb, vehemently disapproved of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now deeply entrenched in his [[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirlish ways]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and was suffering from [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]].

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" />

==Cause of Death==
Despite the fairly clear-cut nature of the lumberjack's passing, Chris has since declared that the [[trolls]] were responsible for Bob's death. In an [[Misc_E-mails|email]] leaked on 22 [[March 2014]], Chris claims that the stress of his trolling led to Bob's heart attack. This keeps in the trend Chris has developed of blaming any and all misfortunes (even those faced by everyone, like burying a family member) on trolls.
{{quote|AND the total [[stress]] KILLED my Father Prematurely; if not for those Trolls, he would still be alive, and would have likely lived beyond 2015.|Chris.}}
Even for Chris this is appalling behavior; using the '''death of his own father''' as a vehicle to play the victim and attempt to stave off trolls. While it's not uncommon for those who have lost loved ones to blame their deaths on external causes (however impossible or insane, as in this case) Chris' actions are motivated purely out of selfishness and egotism - business as usual.

==Obituary==
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

* Text going into [[autism|unusual detail]] about what Bob did at General Electric.
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to [[Chris and money|donate money to Barbara and Chris]].

===Original text===
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''

:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''

:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''

:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''

:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''

:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''

:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. <ref name="BobObit" />

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia.<ref name="BobObit" /> She's most likely the mother of his two other children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], with both of whom he was out of contact in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Chris did not know he had a niece, via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>, and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more strained. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and last they heard she was working for the government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops," <ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.]]

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography such as [[Julie|Europe]] and [[PandaHalo|Australia]], but he thought (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's racist joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time[sic], and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. The antagonism to which Chris refers is likelier to be Bob attempting to constructively criticise Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.

An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, and seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris would still run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his Ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his Ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to be the origin of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that (not to mention what accomplishments he was referring to), or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank"><s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</s> (dead link as of Jul 2014)</ref>

He seemed never to get past the notion that Chris could and had achieved things, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiralling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris is not a total sociopath. Despite that, Chris once said in one of his [[Mailbag|mailbags]] that he wished Bob would die, ''[[Mailbag 57|just because Bob didn't buy Chris a hooker]] on his [[birthday]].'' However, this despicable comment shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, considering how Chris has [[Death Threats|no problem wishing death on anyone]], let alone his own father.

In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris actually honored his father's memory since the latter's passing in [[September 2011]].

==In memoriam==
[[File:Chandler_Niche.jpg|thumb|left|Bob's final resting place.]]

Bob is often seen as a gregarious, hard-working man ([[Ruckersville|all things considered]]). Trying ([[Destruction Of Chris's House|albeit without]] [[26 December 2014|success]]) to refine Chris into someone that could at least pass for a responsible adult, giving him mock job interviews and [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|chaperoning him on dates]], where he proved (unsurprisingly) more adept at charming the date than Chris.

However, we also have Bob to thank for some of his son's more [[Homos|backwards]] [[Niggos|worldviews]]. He was also supposedly an [[Cole|abusive stepfather]]; he certainly managed to alienate his other children enough that they didn't attend his funeral, or keep in touch while he was alive. Much like his son, little of what he said or believed had any connection to [[reality]], and he helped Chris to construct [[Matthew Noble call|bizarre]] [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]] to justify [[Chris and the law|trespassing and the like]], among [[Ego|other things]]. He, like Barbara, enabled Chris's parasitic dependence on them, general immaturity and irresponsibility, and his myriad of other flaws. He never made any serious effort to improve his preening, arrogant son, even when he caught him [[Bob walks in|masturbating]] in the kitchen.

Ultimately, few remember Bob as a positive influence on Chris, although he was of course a little more preferable to his wife.

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).

* [[1990]]: Bob appeared as the DJ to the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the [[Chris in the media|Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the house tour, (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Bob1946Auburn.jpg|Bob's Auburn freshman yearbook photo.
Image:Thehell.jpg|
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|Bob used to enjoy gardening back in the day.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|
File:Bob2.png|Last known photo.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2011
| Maker = TheSevenRiders
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}
| Stardate = 11 September 2011
| Maker = 8x13Wolf
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = RIP Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}
| Stardate = 29 September 2011
| Maker = furnacewoodsband
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sources==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

==External Links==
* [http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=80567090 Bob Chandler at Find a Grave]

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Bob Chandler

2015-06-08T00:03:09Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|The Internet Lumberjack]] 
Mr. C
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 [[September 2011]] (aged {{Age|1927|9|4|2011|9|6}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/4th [[Cherokee]]<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>)
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Patricia (c.1960-????) 
[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| Dr. David Alan Chandler 
Carol Suzanne Chandler 
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Grandchildren'''
| [[Savannah Chandler]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father) Jean Holloman (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}

'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]- 6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]];<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> his nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still widely viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]]. This is due to Bob being somewhat concerned with Chris's behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in his life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising the selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb he at least made the effort.

Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. Whether in person or over the phone Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone.

Bob died of complications from heart failure on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref>

==Biography==
Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and was, according to his freshman Auburn University yearbook, raised in [[Wikipedia:Sylacauga, Alabama|Sylacauga, Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6</ref>), an Insurance Agent from Alabama, and Jean Holloman (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M</ref>-10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8</ref>), a Housewife from Texas.<ref>http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg (Mirror: [[:File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg]])</ref> Bob mentioned having a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref>
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|right|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]

Bob has said that he was "interested in the world" around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign stamps as a child in the [[1930s]]. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> It is not clear how this collection fared in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]], but it was apparently not a total loss, as Chris offered to sell some of the albums to [[Catherine]]'s cousin Al in late 2014.

===Service and education===
Bob was drafted out of College as a special draftee who apparently had knowledge that the Army desired (Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/4124/rec/14]) in 1946 after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. He was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal due to the dates of his service and his service number was 44107856 [http://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?dt=893&mtch=11&tf=F&q=Chandler&bc=&sort=24996%20desc&rpp=10&pg=4&rid=8565331&rlst=5136538,4652469,8564216,1000879,987835,4549799,991002,8565331,5188385,8565346]. When he got out in 1947 he went back to school for Electrical Engineering and graduated in 1952 (page 269 of the 1952 yearbook) [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/16173/rec/20] [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />
[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|left|Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.]]

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn a type of engineering degree, although it's never specified (mechanical, electrical etc.).<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===
Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] as an engineer for forty years. There he designed a variety of electrical subsystems. He eventually went to work for General Electric in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon".<ref name="Barbara" />

Examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob Chandler learning how to cut that internet down ]]

Politically, Bob was identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/> With that being said, in the time leading to the [[wikipedia:Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|Virginia gubernatorial election of 2009]], Bob had misgivings about [[wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]], the Republican candidate and eventual winner of the election. Bob and Chris considered the option of writing in Snoopy rather than voting for any of the candidates listed on the ballot.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Later life and poor health===

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to [[Trolls|total strangers]] on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob had had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple bypass operations took place in August, 1980. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at [[Burger King]] daily.<ref>[[Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris]]</ref><ref>[[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)]]</ref>

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|tweeted]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose [[Ego|when Chris was inclined to complain about it online]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,<ref>[[Wikipedia:Congenital Heart Failure|Wikipedia: Congenital Heart Failure]]</ref> but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a very serious situation.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. His silence on the subject of his father may have been because of [[Naive|genuine ignorance]] of the seriousness of his father's condition, or simply (and more likely) the [[Chris and remorse|callous]] [[Autism|indifference]] [[Chris and his ego|we've come to expect]] from Chris when he sees [[Chris and death|other people suffering]].

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."<ref>[[:File:Bobbetter.jpg]]</ref> Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well." Chris was, at least, half right.

A breakdown of Bob's final months reads as follows.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer of some description.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 23 April 2011, in an e-mail to Jackie, Chris revealed that Bob had received surgery for colon cancer.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_24]]</ref>

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and, like Barb, vehemently disapproved of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now deeply entrenched in his [[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirlish ways]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and was suffering from [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]].

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" />

==Cause of Death==
Despite the fairly clear-cut nature of the lumberjack's passing, Chris has since declared that the [[trolls]] were responsible for Bob's death. In an [[Misc_E-mails|email]] leaked on 22 [[March 2014]], Chris claims that the stress of his trolling led to Bob's heart attack. This keeps in the trend Chris has developed of blaming any and all misfortunes (even those faced by everyone, like burying a family member) on trolls.
{{quote|AND the total [[stress]] KILLED my Father Prematurely; if not for those Trolls, he would still be alive, and would have likely lived beyond 2015.|Chris.}}
Even for Chris this is appalling behavior; using the '''death of his own father''' as a vehicle to play the victim and attempt to stave off trolls. While it's not uncommon for those who have lost loved ones to blame their deaths on external causes (however impossible or insane, as in this case) Chris' actions are motivated purely out of selfishness and egotism - business as usual.

==Obituary==
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

* Text going into [[autism|unusual detail]] about what Bob did at General Electric.
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to [[Chris and money|donate money to Barbara and Chris]].

===Original text===
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''

:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''

:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''

:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''

:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''

:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''

:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. <ref name="BobObit" />

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia.<ref name="BobObit" /> She's most likely the mother of his two other children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], with both of whom he was out of contact in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Chris did not know he had a niece, via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>, and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more strained. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and last they heard she was working for the government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops," <ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.]]

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography such as [[Julie|Europe]] and [[PandaHalo|Australia]], but he thought (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's racist joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time[sic], and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. The antagonism to which Chris refers is likelier to be Bob attempting to constructively criticise Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.

An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, and seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris would still run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his Ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his Ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to be the origin of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that (not to mention what accomplishments he was referring to), or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank"><s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</s> (dead link as of Jul 2014)</ref>

He seemed never to get past the notion that Chris could and had achieved things, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiralling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris is not a total sociopath. Despite that, Chris once said in one of his [[Mailbag|mailbags]] that wished Bob would die, ''[[Mailbag 57|just because Bob didn't buy Chris a hooker]] on his [[birthday]].'' However, this despicable comment shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, considering how Chris has [[Death Threats|no problem wishing death on anyone]], let alone his own father.

In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris actually honored his father's memory since the latter's passing in [[September 2011]].

==In memoriam==
[[File:Chandler_Niche.jpg|thumb|left|Bob's final resting place.]]

Bob is often seen as a gregarious, hard-working man ([[Ruckersville|all things considered]]). Trying ([[Destruction Of Chris's House|albeit without]] [[26 December 2014|success]]) to refine Chris into someone that could at least pass for a responsible adult, giving him mock job interviews and [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|chaperoning him on dates]], where he proved (unsurprisingly) more adept at charming the date than Chris.

However, we also have Bob to thank for some of his son's more [[Homos|backwards]] [[Niggos|worldviews]]. He was also supposedly an [[Cole|abusive stepfather]]; he certainly managed to alienate his other children enough that they didn't attend his funeral, or keep in touch while he was alive. Much like his son, little of what he said or believed had any connection to [[reality]], and he helped Chris to construct [[Matthew Noble call|bizarre]] [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]] to justify [[Chris and the law|trespassing and the like]], among [[Ego|other things]]. He, like Barbara, enabled Chris's parasitic dependence on them, general immaturity and irresponsibility, and his myriad of other flaws. He never made any serious effort to improve his preening, arrogant son, even when he caught him [[Bob walks in|masturbating]] in the kitchen.

Ultimately, few remember Bob as a positive influence on Chris, although he was of course a little more preferable to his wife.

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).

* [[1990]]: Bob appeared as the DJ to the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the [[Chris in the media|Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the house tour, (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Bob1946Auburn.jpg|Bob's Auburn freshman yearbook photo.
Image:Thehell.jpg|
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|Bob used to enjoy gardening back in the day.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|
File:Bob2.png|Last known photo.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2011
| Maker = TheSevenRiders
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}
| Stardate = 11 September 2011
| Maker = 8x13Wolf
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = RIP Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}
| Stardate = 29 September 2011
| Maker = furnacewoodsband
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sources==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

==External Links==
* [http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=80567090 Bob Chandler at Find a Grave]

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Bob Walks In

2015-02-26T08:03:21Z

Wildsonichu:

{{Honest}}
{{quote|<poem>The [[Sweetheart|couples of the world]] kiss,
But unfortunately for [[Chris|few]],
They are interrupted by [[Borb|their parents]].</poem>|Chris, exactly nine years previously. GodBear could not have planned it better.<ref>[[Valentines Day Hymn]]</ref>}}

'''Bob Walks In''' is the most famous of the [[Julie]] cybersex chats, in which Chris is caught [[mass debating]] by his late father, [[Bob]].

==Background==
[[Image:Aiko-Chris's New Bird.jpg|thumb|right|140px|What Chris imagines Julie looks like...]]
The Chandler family [[14 Branchland Court|home]] only has one [[computers|computer]], and it's in the [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]]. This means that every time Chris wants to engage in cybersex, he's spanking it in the middle of a place where people prepare food, and don't want [[navy]] dripping all over the bloody thing.

On [[February 2009|Valentine's Night, 2009]], Chris was on a hot e-date with his ONE, TRUE AND HONEST SWEETHEART Julie, and once again engaged in some hot furry sex, similar to the [[CWC Cums for a Cat|night before]]. Chris was moaning sexy, sweaty nothings into the microphone as he furiously pounded his [[Chris and health|bent]] [[duck]]. Unbeknown to Chris, trolls were tipped off that Chris was firing some [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|knuckle children]] and were dedicated to having Chris experience an awkward moment that would require Bob to see his son stroking his pickle, yelling like a horny retard. Four calls were made, the first three failing as Bob told them that Chris was "sleeping" (even though Chris was screaming "JULAAAAY" at the time). [[Miscreants]] agent [[Bryan Bash]] provided the final call, stating "OH MY GOD, CHRIS MADE A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE AND SAID HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF! YOU GOTTA STOP HIM!".

Within seconds, Bob dropped the phone, ran up the stairs and walked into his son's most intimate moment, being justifiably horrified. In a rare moment of parental authority, he threatened to punish Chris by "cuttin' [[Internet|the Internet]] down right now." Chris, used to having things his way throughout his whole life, was appalled, confused and no longer aroused. The recording ends after Bob's many futile attempts to shut down the computer finally succeed.

This can be considered the pinnacle of the ongoing CWC saga, as it represents a moment where Chris actually feels negative repercussions for his Internet behavior. It contains many memorable lines and is the height of emotional drama.

Julie's side of this erotic scene can be read [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|here]].

== Prelude ==
The following is Chris's phone sex session with Julie prior to Bob walking in. Throughout this whole audio, Chris bangs into stuff and whacks his keyboard while mass debating and making slurping sounds, suggesting Chris fails at performing even imaginary cunnilingus. If you love your life, it is advised that you do not read this transcript, because Chris's session is supposedly sexy, but in all fairness, just isn't.

=== Chris Gets Started ===
Hey, Julie! [[Molvanîa|Zlkavszka]]. Ah yeah, good, you're on me. Alright, alright... you do that, mmmm. [''Two Windows beeps and several licking sounds''] Oh... [''rustling, possibly taking off clothes; three rapid Windows beeps''] Ooooh...! Oh-ho-ho! Alright, yeah, I'm [''indistinct''] clothes.

Ok. Yep, I'm lying on the bed... do what you will...mmkay. Ahhhhh...I could take a good guess... very horny. Believe me, I've been very horny... before. Ohhh! Hhhh...oh my...oh my...mmmm...actually, I'm breathing okay...mmm...oh yeah. Cause is--cause it got stiff...for you. Mmmmm...ahhh, ahhh yeah. Mmm...''(spits on his hands)''...mmm.

Okay, I'm licking your pussy while you're sitting on my face. Oh boy...hhhh...mmmmm...mmmm...oh...okay, but you know, just so you know, I learned that farts- farts on one's face causes [[heterochromia|pink-eye]]. Ali- alri- alright, I'll let it go this time. I don't touch my eyes all that much anyway, but this time yeah....

''(Begins fapping)'' Oh yeah. ''(slurp slurp slurp smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh yeah... mmmm.... Oh yeah. ''(smack smack smack)'' mmmm... mmm... ''(slurp slurp slurp)'' Oh... mmm... You're facing mine as well. Oh boy, yeahhhh... that's good. Mmm. Mmmm... ''(smack smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh... ''(fapping gets louder)'' Mmm!

=== Adventures in China ===
''(Sporadic Windows beeping throughout)'' Mmm... Oh yeah... Mmm... ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmm... mmmmmmmm... Meeee-yeowww. mmm... ahhh, that's fine. ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmmm... ''(faps even harder, banging into stuff)'' I was kind of expecting this myself. ''(faps even more hard'') Yeah... So do I... mmmm... ''(fapping is very loud at this point)'' Ahhhh! MMm... ''(phone rings)'' Mmm... Mmmm... I love you too, Julie... you are, you are...

It's very good. Mmm... Ohhhh yeah, it's awesome... Awesome. Ah... ah yeah... ''(fapping speeds up)'' Mmm... Go ahead, be rougher, rougher... Mmmm... Ahhh... MMm... Oh yeah... mmm... Oh yeah, yeah... Oh YEAH, Julie, Julieeeeeeee, Julie!!! mmmh... ahhh... JULAYYYYYYYY! JULayyyyyyyy, JULAaaaay... JULAY!!!! Julay... JULaaAaaAaaaAaaaAaAAAAAYY!!! ''(phone rings)'' Jullayyyy... ''(phone rings again)'' Mmm... ah, don't worry about that, my father will get it... he got it.... Continue. Mm... Julie... JULAAAAAY... Julaaaaaaaaah.

Oh yeah... oh yeah... oh yeah... mmm... oh... mmm?? ''(phone rings)'' mmm... get on me... I want... to be INSIDE YOU!... Oh yeah... not yet... mmm. ''(smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Pump it in? mmmf... ah... oh yeah... no problem... ahhhh... mmmm YEAH!! mmmf... ''(faps very hard)'' ahh... mmmm... oh yeah... oooooh yeah... ah! yeah... yeaahhh!!! mmmf... (breathing heavily, bangs into something while fapping) mmm... ''(phone rings)'' mmm... no it's okay, my father will get it, don't worry about it... keep going... it's already been got... please, I'm getting close myself... C'mon Julie... mmf... ahhh... mmm... mmm... oh yeah...

''(Bob walks in at this point, about 17 minutes and 56 seconds in. Chris stops fapping.)''

==The Climax==
{{quote|Get away from the Internet, I'm cuttin' it down right now!|Bob "The Internet Lumberjack" Chandler}}
{{quote|NO DAD, NO!|Chris, during [[Hanky-panky|Goofy Time]].}}

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oRIfhNPolVc}}
</center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Bob''': Christian, what are you doing?
 '''Chris''': [''immediately stops fapping, but knocks several things over''] Nothing.
 '''Bob''': I’m getting all these crazy damn calls. What're you doing?
 '''Chris''': Nothing.
 '''Bob''': Don't give me that crap. Now, what’s going on?
 '''Chris''': Dad, will you get out of here?!?!
 '''Bob''': No. [''string of Windows beeps''] I will not. [[Bryan Bash|People]] tell me that you’re about to kill yourself on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Bob''': What are you doing?
 '''Chris''': I'm not doin' anything.
 '''Bob''': Want me to wake your mother up and find out?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Then, get out of here, and off that Internet.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': What is your trouble?
 '''Chris''': I am not going to kill myself!
 '''Bob''': Get away from that TV.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': Get away from the Internet, I'm cuttin' it down, right now!
 '''Chris''': NO, DAD, NO!
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': What are you doin'?
 
 [''long pause, what sounds like the kitchen sink running, keys clicking on the keyboard, then single Windows beep'']
 
 '''Chris''': Don't do it, Dad.
 '''Bob''': I’m gonna shut this thing right down.
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No! [''pause''] Dad, no. Stop!
 '''Bob''': Go wake your mother up; don’t bother me. Okay? [''pause''] Go wake your [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] up! Don’t bother me!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': Go and wake your mother up!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': You tell mm--her what’s going on. This thing is gonna go down.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': Yes!

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBcjVEeWlabjZnX00 Download (audio only)]
*[http://db.tt/0GIuc49D Audio mirror]

{{References}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Julie Saga]]

Bob Walks In

2015-02-26T08:00:20Z

Wildsonichu:

{{Honest}}
{{quote|<poem>The [[Sweetheart|couples of the world]] kiss,
But unfortunately for [[Chris|few]],
They are interrupted by [[Borb|their parents]].</poem>|Chris, exactly nine years previously. GodBear could not have planned it better.<ref>[[Valentines Day Hymn]]</ref>}}

'''Bob Walks In''' is the most famous of the [[Julie]] cybersex chats, in which Chris is caught [[mass debating]] by his late father, [[Bob]].

==Background==
[[Image:Aiko-Chris's New Bird.jpg|thumb|right|140px|What Chris imagines Julie looks like...]]
The Chandler family [[14 Branchland Court|home]] only has one [[computers|computer]], and it's in the [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]]. This means that every time Chris wants to engage in cybersex, he's spanking it in the middle of a place where people prepare food, and don't want [[navy]] dripping all over the bloody thing.

On [[February 2009|Valentine's Night, 2009]], Chris was on a hot e-date with his ONE, TRUE AND HONEST SWEETHEART Julie, and once again engaged in some hot furry sex, similar to the [[CWC Cums for a Cat|night before]]. Chris was moaning sexy, sweaty nothings into the microphone as he furiously pounded his [[Chris and health|bent]] [[duck]]. Unbeknown to Chris, trolls were tipped off that Chris was firing some [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|knuckle children]] and were dedicated to having Chris experience an awkward moment that would require Bob to see his son stroking his pickle, yelling like a horny retard. Four calls were made, the first three failing as Bob told them that Chris was "sleeping" (even though Chris was screaming "JULAAAAY" at the time). [[Miscreants]] agent [[Bryan Bash]] provided the final call, stating "OH MY GOD, CHRIS MADE A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE AND SAID HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF! YOU GOTTA STOP HIM!".

Within seconds, Bob dropped the phone, ran up the stairs and walked into his son's most intimate moment, being justifiably horrified. In a rare moment of parental authority, he threatened to punish Chris by "cuttin' [the Internet] down right now." Chris, used to having things his way throughout his whole life, was appalled, confused and no longer aroused. The recording ends after Bob's many futile attempts to shut down the computer finally succeed.

This can be considered the pinnacle of the ongoing CWC saga, as it represents a moment where Chris actually feels negative repercussions for his Internet behavior. It contains many memorable lines and is the height of emotional drama.

Julie's side of this erotic scene can be read [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|here]].

== Prelude ==
The following is Chris's phone sex session with Julie prior to Bob walking in. Throughout this whole audio, Chris bangs into stuff and whacks his keyboard while mass debating and making slurping sounds, suggesting Chris fails at performing even imaginary cunnilingus. If you love your life, it is advised that you do not read this transcript, because Chris's session is supposedly sexy, but in all fairness, just isn't.

=== Chris Gets Started ===
Hey, Julie! [[Molvanîa|Zlkavszka]]. Ah yeah, good, you're on me. Alright, alright... you do that, mmmm. [''Two Windows beeps and several licking sounds''] Oh... [''rustling, possibly taking off clothes; three rapid Windows beeps''] Ooooh...! Oh-ho-ho! Alright, yeah, I'm [''indistinct''] clothes.

Ok. Yep, I'm lying on the bed... do what you will...mmkay. Ahhhhh...I could take a good guess... very horny. Believe me, I've been very horny... before. Ohhh! Hhhh...oh my...oh my...mmmm...actually, I'm breathing okay...mmm...oh yeah. Cause is--cause it got stiff...for you. Mmmmm...ahhh, ahhh yeah. Mmm...''(spits on his hands)''...mmm.

Okay, I'm licking your pussy while you're sitting on my face. Oh boy...hhhh...mmmmm...mmmm...oh...okay, but you know, just so you know, I learned that farts- farts on one's face causes [[heterochromia|pink-eye]]. Ali- alri- alright, I'll let it go this time. I don't touch my eyes all that much anyway, but this time yeah....

''(Begins fapping)'' Oh yeah. ''(slurp slurp slurp smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh yeah... mmmm.... Oh yeah. ''(smack smack smack)'' mmmm... mmm... ''(slurp slurp slurp)'' Oh... mmm... You're facing mine as well. Oh boy, yeahhhh... that's good. Mmm. Mmmm... ''(smack smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh... ''(fapping gets louder)'' Mmm!

=== Adventures in China ===
''(Sporadic Windows beeping throughout)'' Mmm... Oh yeah... Mmm... ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmm... mmmmmmmm... Meeee-yeowww. mmm... ahhh, that's fine. ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmmm... ''(faps even harder, banging into stuff)'' I was kind of expecting this myself. ''(faps even more hard'') Yeah... So do I... mmmm... ''(fapping is very loud at this point)'' Ahhhh! MMm... ''(phone rings)'' Mmm... Mmmm... I love you too, Julie... you are, you are...

It's very good. Mmm... Ohhhh yeah, it's awesome... Awesome. Ah... ah yeah... ''(fapping speeds up)'' Mmm... Go ahead, be rougher, rougher... Mmmm... Ahhh... MMm... Oh yeah... mmm... Oh yeah, yeah... Oh YEAH, Julie, Julieeeeeeee, Julie!!! mmmh... ahhh... JULAYYYYYYYY! JULayyyyyyyy, JULAaaaay... JULAY!!!! Julay... JULaaAaaAaaaAaaaAaAAAAAYY!!! ''(phone rings)'' Jullayyyy... ''(phone rings again)'' Mmm... ah, don't worry about that, my father will get it... he got it.... Continue. Mm... Julie... JULAAAAAY... Julaaaaaaaaah.

Oh yeah... oh yeah... oh yeah... mmm... oh... mmm?? ''(phone rings)'' mmm... get on me... I want... to be INSIDE YOU!... Oh yeah... not yet... mmm. ''(smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Pump it in? mmmf... ah... oh yeah... no problem... ahhhh... mmmm YEAH!! mmmf... ''(faps very hard)'' ahh... mmmm... oh yeah... oooooh yeah... ah! yeah... yeaahhh!!! mmmf... (breathing heavily, bangs into something while fapping) mmm... ''(phone rings)'' mmm... no it's okay, my father will get it, don't worry about it... keep going... it's already been got... please, I'm getting close myself... C'mon Julie... mmf... ahhh... mmm... mmm... oh yeah...

''(Bob walks in at this point, about 17 minutes and 56 seconds in. Chris stops fapping.)''

==The Climax==
{{quote|Get away from the Internet, I'm cuttin' it down right now!|Bob "The Internet Lumberjack" Chandler}}
{{quote|NO DAD, NO!|Chris, during [[Hanky-panky|Goofy Time]].}}

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oRIfhNPolVc}}
</center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Bob''': Christian, what are you doing?
 '''Chris''': [''immediately stops fapping, but knocks several things over''] Nothing.
 '''Bob''': I’m getting all these crazy damn calls. What're you doing?
 '''Chris''': Nothing.
 '''Bob''': Don't give me that crap. Now, what’s going on?
 '''Chris''': Dad, will you get out of here?!?!
 '''Bob''': No. [''string of Windows beeps''] I will not. [[Bryan Bash|People]] tell me that you’re about to kill yourself on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Bob''': What are you doing?
 '''Chris''': I'm not doin' anything.
 '''Bob''': Want me to wake your mother up and find out?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Then, get out of here, and off that Internet.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': What is your trouble?
 '''Chris''': I am not going to kill myself!
 '''Bob''': Get away from that TV.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': Get away from the Internet, I'm cuttin' it down, right now!
 '''Chris''': NO, DAD, NO!
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': What are you doin'?
 
 [''long pause, what sounds like the kitchen sink running, keys clicking on the keyboard, then single Windows beep'']
 
 '''Chris''': Don't do it, Dad.
 '''Bob''': I’m gonna shut this thing right down.
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No! [''pause''] Dad, no. Stop!
 '''Bob''': Go wake your mother up; don’t bother me. Okay? [''pause''] Go wake your [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] up! Don’t bother me!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': Go and wake your mother up!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': You tell mm--her what’s going on. This thing is gonna go down.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': Yes!

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBcjVEeWlabjZnX00 Download (audio only)]
*[http://db.tt/0GIuc49D Audio mirror]

{{References}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Julie Saga]]

Chris and religion

2015-02-26T07:21:16Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris and blasphemy */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often starkly differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism.]]
The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of ''him'', so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Also, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, Catholicism preaches deference on moral issues to one's priest while Protestantism does not). Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]tism he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. In Chris's previous view of God, the almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He was commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris fails at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] and to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It was strange that despite Chris's strong past belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.

Eventually, Chris came to blame God for his misfortunes in a [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial. The date of the letter is unknown, but cannot have been written earlier than [[July 2011]], as Ed Winkler, the pastor mentioned in the letter, joined the staff of Wesley Memorial on that month.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref>
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

==Concept of sin==
[[File:John Asperchu.JPG|thumb|right|Take note, Chris.]]
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

==Chris and forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as [[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|he goes on to curse and scream at them later on]].

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made a plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|making threats to burn down the store]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris' show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

Long story short, Chris does not forgive, nor does he forget.

==Chris and blasphemy==

Blasphemy is defined as showing contempt towards God. Though Chris has been faithful to God ''(the word being used VERY loosely here)'', there were a couple of notable instances where he openly defied his will as preached by the church. One instance had him release a video called [[F Abstinence]], where he announced his plans to yell "FUCK ABSTINENCE!" in his church ''(it is unknown if he actually did follow through with this, but what is known is that he was banned from the church for some reason between 2011 and 2013.)'' Later on, [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a letter leaked on March 2013]] seems to indicate that Chris has turned his back on the church of the Big Man Upstairs, and stops a hair short of outright calling Him a troll:

{{quotebox|1=
**Please Print (in multiples) and Share This Message with EVERYBODY at Church**

I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for [[Autism|reasons beyond my full understanding]], because I always tried to be a [[Death Threats|good]] [[Homos#Hatred_of_homos|and]] [[Kill De Jack|nice]] person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of [[Chris and Reality|them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me]]. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]]. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my family the best I can, and [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely]]. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an autistic mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. '''And God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.'''

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler
}}

Long story short, Chris feels that God has decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]], and had made the decision to pass these letters insulting Him to the congregation, possibly in a bid to fish for sympathy.

In an e-mail from 1 [[May 2013]], he goes as far as saying that he sometimes feels "[T]emptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it".
{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler
}}

However, this e-mail reveals that his relationship with God is somewhat complicated, but this is a matter either of hypocrisy or just [[Slow-in-the-minds|inability]] to see the contradiction in his beliefs. Also, he doesn't want to quit going to the church, while holding a quasi-pantheistic view of God and even considering trying another religion (which is something suggested to him by a [[gal pal]], and we can as yet speculate what it would be).

On 7 September 2013, Chris once again cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[jerkop]] while he was pitching a fit about how God has been trolling him over the course of the past several days. He goes on to state how he wishes that God would kill him, which is not very Christian-like, considering the consequences for that are very stiff (depending on the religion you believe in).
{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

Case in point, Chris may as well label God as a [[trolls|"DAMN, DIRTY TROLL"]], just as he's labeled everyone else. It's only a matter of time before God decides to get even with Chris, [[26_December_2014|either very soon]], or [[Chris and death|sometime in the near future]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur|Soul Calibur III]]'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much does Chris knows about [[:wikipedia:Unitarianism|Unitarianism]] (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

[[Angelica]] is a "devout" [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is a huge slut without any apparent opposition to rampant premarital sex, and aside from saying "Lord" every four seconds and praying on occasion she does not behave at all like a Catholic, devout or otherwise. Chris is also unsurprisingly ignorant of the naming conventions for Roman Catholic churches, given the name he ascribed to Angelica's.

Given that he takes his own religion à la carte, Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and, indeed, the differences between Protestantism and Catholicism. He has never been pressed for comment on eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich [sic] Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan the Moralf**|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> In all likelihood he knows nothing about Islam or the Quran, and is not known to have ever commented on the religion directly.

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref> His opinion of it has probably been culled from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Non-theism===
Out of all of these sections, Chris's opinion of irreligious people, and atheists in particular, is the most vacillating and incoherent, and also coincidentally one of the best documented.

[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process, and even seemed to make him uneasy.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

[[Ruckersville, VA|Unsurprisingly]], he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> Even from an evangelical point of view, it's hard enough for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them without Chris going around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[trolls]] by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common Questions#09 January 2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. This shows that Chris simply doesn't comprehend non-belief in religion, as of course an atheist would not be cowed by the threat of something they by definition don't believe exists. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist, a deist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

In another sudden turn, in his [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman-using fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist, although his opinion on this is unclear.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and religion

2015-02-26T07:19:37Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris and blasphemy */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often starkly differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism.]]
The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of ''him'', so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Also, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, Catholicism preaches deference on moral issues to one's priest while Protestantism does not). Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]tism he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. In Chris's previous view of God, the almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He was commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris fails at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] and to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It was strange that despite Chris's strong past belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.

Eventually, Chris came to blame God for his misfortunes in a [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial. The date of the letter is unknown, but cannot have been written earlier than [[July 2011]], as Ed Winkler, the pastor mentioned in the letter, joined the staff of Wesley Memorial on that month.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref>
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

==Concept of sin==
[[File:John Asperchu.JPG|thumb|right|Take note, Chris.]]
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

==Chris and forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as [[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|he goes on to curse and scream at them later on]].

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made a plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|making threats to burn down the store]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris' show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

Long story short, Chris does not forgive, nor does he forget.

==Chris and blasphemy==

Blasphemy is defined as showing contempt towards God. Though Chris has been faithful to God ''(the word being used VERY loosely here)'', there were a couple of notable instances where he openly defied his will as preached by the church. One instance had him release a video called [[F Abstinence]], where he announced his plans to yell "FUCK ABSTINENCE!" in his church ''(it is unknown if he actually did follow through with this, but what is known is that he was banned from the church for some reason between 2011 and 2013.)'' Later on, [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a letter leaked on March 2013]] seems to indicate that Chris has turned his back on the church of the Big Man Upstairs, and stops a hair short of outright calling Him a troll:

{{quotebox|1=
**Please Print (in multiples) and Share This Message with EVERYBODY at Church**

I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for [[Autism|reasons beyond my full understanding]], because I always tried to be a [[Death Threats|good]] [[Homos#Hatred_of_homos|and]] [[Kill De Jack|nice]] person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of [[Chris and Reality|them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me]]. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]]. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my family the best I can, and [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely]]. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an autistic mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. '''And God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.'''

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler
}}

Long story short, Chris feels that God has decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]], and had made the decision to pass these letters insulting Him to the congregation, possibly in a bid to fish for sympathy.

In an e-mail from 1 [[May 2013]], he goes as far as saying that he sometimes feels "[T]emptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it".
{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler
}}

However, this e-mail reveals that his relationship with God is somewhat complicated, but this is a matter either of hypocrisy or just [[Slow-in-the-minds|inability]] to see the contradiction in his beliefs. Also, he doesn't want to quit going to the church, while holding a quasi-pantheistic view of God and even considering trying another religion (which is something suggested to him by a [[gal pal]], and we can as yet speculate what it would be).

On 7 September 2013, Chris once again cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[jerkop]] while he was pitching a fit about how God has been trolling him over the course of the past several days. He goes on to state how he wishes that God would kill him, which is not very Christian-like, considering the consequences for that are very stiff (depending on the religion you believe in).
{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

Case in point, Chris may as well label God as a [[trolls|"DAMN, DIRTY TROLL"]], just as he's labeled everyone else. It's only a matter of time before God decides to get even with Chris, [[Gamestop Assault|either very soon]], or [[Chris and death|sometime in the near future]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur|Soul Calibur III]]'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much does Chris knows about [[:wikipedia:Unitarianism|Unitarianism]] (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

[[Angelica]] is a "devout" [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is a huge slut without any apparent opposition to rampant premarital sex, and aside from saying "Lord" every four seconds and praying on occasion she does not behave at all like a Catholic, devout or otherwise. Chris is also unsurprisingly ignorant of the naming conventions for Roman Catholic churches, given the name he ascribed to Angelica's.

Given that he takes his own religion à la carte, Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and, indeed, the differences between Protestantism and Catholicism. He has never been pressed for comment on eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich [sic] Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan the Moralf**|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> In all likelihood he knows nothing about Islam or the Quran, and is not known to have ever commented on the religion directly.

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref> His opinion of it has probably been culled from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Non-theism===
Out of all of these sections, Chris's opinion of irreligious people, and atheists in particular, is the most vacillating and incoherent, and also coincidentally one of the best documented.

[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process, and even seemed to make him uneasy.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

[[Ruckersville, VA|Unsurprisingly]], he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> Even from an evangelical point of view, it's hard enough for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them without Chris going around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[trolls]] by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common Questions#09 January 2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. This shows that Chris simply doesn't comprehend non-belief in religion, as of course an atheist would not be cowed by the threat of something they by definition don't believe exists. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist, a deist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

In another sudden turn, in his [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman-using fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist, although his opinion on this is unclear.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Father Call

2015-01-02T06:25:58Z

Wildsonichu: /* Death and fake Internet women */

[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of <s>Guile</s> Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]

On the fourth of [[November 2009|November, 2009]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Solid Chris]] spent a little over two hours on the phone one night with '''[[Trolls|Matthew Devoria]]''' (born [[1957]]), father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]]. Matthew is apparently a retired [[Wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine]] who served in the [[Wikipedia:Gulf War|Gulf War]].

Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the father of a heartsweet by boasting of his now legendary [[honest content|honesty]], before flimsily attempting to defend himself from an angry father.

Their conversation is illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matthew berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], inability to grow up, [[chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], and general failure at life. It is unlikely that Chris will take any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart, as he retorts by saying that he leads a [[lie|hard life]], which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial chores]], mowing the lawn, which he uses a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawn mower]] to do, and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homos|shoving vegetables down his throat]].

After being berated with insults for two hours, [[stress]] overcame him and Chris became increasingly more [[chris and anger|upset]]. In general, Chris greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which ended equally poorly.

==Summary==
* Throughout the call, ''Portal'' is occasionally heard in the background.
* The call begins with Chris talking to Kacey and making some rather dubious sounding claims about his weight-lifting prowess. Kacey doesn't bother to question Chris on the truth of these claims, and instead hands the phone over to her father, Matthew.
* Matthew is fairly civil toward Chris to begin with, though it's immediately obvious that Matthew doesn't have much respect for him. Matthew begins by calling out Chris on his underwhelming employment record, and tells him that no sane employer would take his claim of being a Pokemon Gym Leader seriously.
* Upon being questioned as to the source of his monthly income, Chris reveals his [[autism]] and the corresponding [[monthly tugboat]]. Matthew asks if any hypothetical children of Chris and Kacey would also be autistic (or "'tard babies" to use Matthew's phrasing), and while Chris denies that they would be, Matthew checks with Kacey, who confirms that autism is more often than not genetic. This is the first of several times Chris [[lie]]s during the call, and while Matthew goes easy on him this time, he won't be so generous when Chris does it again.
* Chris reveals his dream about God promising him a daughter named Crystal. Not only does Matthew consider the idea of God sending Chris messages to be blasphemous, he doesn't even like Crystal as a name and thinks it's more appropriate for a stripper.
* After indirectly confirming to Matthew that he was interested primarily in Kacey for her looks, Chris is questioned on why [[Liquid Chris]] (who Matthew will sing the praises of many times during the call) was impersonating him. Solid Chris's response is to claim that Liquid was jealous of his success with [[Sonichu]]. Matthew is at first completely bewildered as to why Chris is spending so much time on Sonichu, before using it to make the point that Chris has completely failed to move on from his teenage years.
* The tone of the conversation takes a significant turn for the worse when Matthew brings up the subject of [[Twin Falling Towers|Chris's little 9/11 video]], and says that he found it especially offensive, since his mother (Kacey's grandmother) was one of the casualties in the World Trade Center that day. Chris's only response is to say the video was really [[Clyde Cash]]'s fault, because he was being mean to Chris.
* Chris tries to elicit sympathy by claiming to have undergone "war-like tribulations" in his life. Matthew tells Chris what war is ''actually'' like, recounting his Gulf War experiences, particularly an incident where he had to carry a dead colleague back to base. Chris retracts his statement about his problems being "war-like," but carries on whining about the hard burdens he's had to deal with, including having to pull up weeds, mow the lawn, move furniture, and bury his beloved [[Patti Chandler|dog]]. Matthew is even more offended by the insinuation that this is equal to the death of his mother.
* Chris doesn't let the fact that his attempts to earn sympathy aren't working discourage him, and rants semi-coherently about how the evil [[troll]]s have [[Kick the Autistic|made his life a misery]]. Not only does this self-pitying whining severely annoy Matthew, Chris unwittingly digs himself a deeper hole by revealing his [[Ohio trip|road trip to Ohio]] in the [[Julie]] saga, causing Matthew to angrily question him on why he won't come to D.C. to meet Kacey.
* Matthew accuses Chris of acting like a child, and mentions the state of [[Chris's room]] (as seen in [[Tour of Chris's House|the tour]] of [[14 Branchland Court]]) as proof that he's lazy and unwilling to take responsibility. Chris just tries to blame [[Barb]] for not helping him, causing Matthew to sarcastically comment on his lack of maturity, only for Chris to [[autism|miss the sarcasm]] and think Matthew is actually agreeing with him.
* In an unbelievably insensitive move even by his standards, Chris tries to compare the effort that tidying his house would entail with the effort Matthew spent carrying his dead colleague back to base. Matthew is ''furious'' at this comparison, and gets Kacey back on the phone to tell her how full of shit Chris is. Kacey tells Chris that he needs to respect Matthew more, before handing the phone back to her father.
* An off-hand remark about the library leads Matthew to question Chris on his reading habits. Chris says that the last book he read was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''... and then starts describing the plot of ''Of Mice and Men''. Upon having this pointed out, Chris remembers which book he's talking about and gives a vaguely correct description of the plot, but seems to have only read (or paid attention to) the first half of the story.
* Matthew says that Kacey reads books like Chris stuffs candy down his throat, and Chris ''completely'' misses the point and angrily claims he has a healthy lifestyle. Matthew thoroughly mocks Chris's lack of basic comprehension skills, and challenges him to produce a video of himself exercising in order to prove his obviously false claims of being healthy.
* Returning to the subject of Crystal, Matthew asks Chris how he intends to support himself, Kacey and a child on his monthly tugboat and a minimum wage job. Chris tries to claim that $8/hour is plenty for a family of three, to which Matthew points out that not only is that amount of money nowhere near enough, the minimum wage is actually $7.25/hour. Chris takes a sneering tone during this debate, only serving to piss Matthew off even more, and causing Kacey to again tell Chris to respect Matthew. By this point Kacey is getting pissed off with Chris's disrespect and clear failure to listen to her advice.
* Matthew again questions Chris on his lifestyle, and asks him to take his pulse. Chris discovers his pulse to be eighty-four per minute; Kacey overhears this and tells Chris that with his history of heart trouble, such a pulse indicates a serious problem. Chris doesn't seem at all bothered by this, which really annoys Kacey and causes her to storm off.
* Chris bizarrely attempts to make himself look better by boasting that he's American born and bred, and has never even left the country, somehow thinking this will impress a man who fought in Iraq. Matthew points out that not only is this irrelevant since Kacey and Liquid Chris are also American, true patriots don't make videos mocking 9/11.
* Matthew decides to test Chris's memory and asks him various details about Kacey; Chris gets her favorite color vaguely right, has no idea what her favorite flower is, and takes forever to remember which of her family members died on 9/11. Matthew tells Chris that he must be [[naïve]] to think he would have any chance with Kacey; Chris gets ''really'' annoyed by Matthew's usage of the word "naive" and actually implies that he would try to kick Matthew's ass were they in the same room. At least until Matthew reminds him which of the two was formerly in the USMC, causing Chris to quickly backtrack on his threats.
* Out of nowhere, Chris suddenly brings up his experience of being restrained by his Elementary School principal and teachers. This is probably yet another attempt to gain sympathy, but Matthew just considers it more evidence that Chris has serious problems, and points out how hypocritical it is for him to accuse Liquid of being the crazy one.
* Matthew brings up Chris's first meeting with Kacey (and her sister), and accuses him of acting in an inappropriately "touchy-feely" manner, which Chris just flat-out denies being true. This leads into Matthew questioning Chris on where he would take Kacey on a date, and in turn how much he would tip the server. Chris's response indicates that he believes the "15% rule" to be a cast-iron rule, rather than just a rough guideline for tipping.
* Chris abruptly attempts to end the call, partly because of how late at night it is, but also because he thinks Matthew is being disrespectful to ''him''. Kacey comes back one last time and rails at Chris for being disrespectful and generally full of shit; Chris doesn't give a clear answer to any of her accusations, resulting in her storming out of the call for good. The tape runs out before the call actually ends, but it's clear by now that Chris has fucked up, big time.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Father Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|8-tcXYT8zqg}}
| Stardate = 4 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 24]]
| next = [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
}} </center>

===Matthew makes the scene===

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house cause, um, they wanted to call 'cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter...

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right. Actually, I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did 51 reps with, uh, fifty-pound weights...not really weights, but...

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times each arm, so it's a total of 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hm. Well, was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny, 'cause I have to lift, like... 100 or more pounds for my job but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad, because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, what's his name? ...Okay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Matthew? Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' All right.

'''Kacey:''' All right well just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''Pause'']

'''Matthew:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, s- good evening, sir, how are you?

'''Matthew:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm doing good.

'''Matthew:''' Good, good... So, uh... So, I've got a couple of questions for you... Well, more than a couple.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an an- with an [[honest content|honest]] answer.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, well uh, first and foremost, let's see... You got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Not currently, but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]]. I have been filling out applications left and right.

'''Matthew:''' Really, really, what kind of places? What kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, w- yeah, I'm looking a- I'm applying for, like, uh- retail stores and such, I've got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at [[Wal-Mart]], and had one over at [[Target]]... I have worked before, I've worked at [[Wendy's]] in Ruckersville for a few months... First off, I worked off as a sales representative for [[Cutco]] cutlery.

'''Matthew:''' Right, that's minimum wage stuff... Did you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Graphic and Design]].

'''Matthew:''' And you're working at...''Target''... I mean, I know the economy's bad, but I mean...surely, you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? ...How old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27...sir.

'''Matthew:''' You're almost ''thirty'' and you're working at, uh...''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hm...yeah, well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh...degree and certificate would get me, but I mean, like, you know... but I mean, if I- if I did know, then I'd certainly strike up on the job...

'''Matthew:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get...in that field, and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Uh... I graduated in 2006.

'''Matthew:''' 2006, so you've had it for three years and you have done nothing with it... Hm, you haven't had any jobs between then?

===Pokémon volunteer and Chris's home===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had- I did- I have done volunteer work... Uh...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' All right, yeah, well, I have the- I helped the children over at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Citizens' Gym League]] for the [[Pokémon]] Trading [[Card games|Card Game]] league a few years back...

'''Matthew:''' ''Pokémon''? Wait, wait, that...

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, build decks from what scraps they had, make sure they kept in order, don't get too crazy...

'''Matthew:''' And...how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Matthew:''' How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that ''Pokémon'' thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' That was the late 90s.

'''Matthew:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' And- um- that's still going strong. Maybe I-

'''Matthew:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' ...And I have been doing that from 1998 'till about 2008. So about ten years I've been doing that.

'''Matthew:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for ten years.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah, but also, like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

'''Matthew:''' Babysitting... but doesn't babysitting usually, you know, pay? And, I mean, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work, I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and really helping people, planting trees, that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have- I have been- I have helped people out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind...knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure children were playing and were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

'''Matthew:''' And...but...are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore?

'''Chris:''' Ummm...yeah, I was kinda like, uh, you know, uh, not so good at showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but, you know, we gotta move on. But anyway, aside from that, I...I've been searching and, uh, doing yardwork for my family and other sorts of...heavy lifting.

'''Matthew:''' Right, right... Well, anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, ''Pok-e-man'' now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|two-story house]] with my [[mother]] and my [[father]].

'''Matthew:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] ''Almost'' 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but it's like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the, uh, for a while.

'''Matthew:''' And, uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' 'Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

'''Matthew:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20... I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college, but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...yeah. But, you know, to each their own individual growth rates.

'''Matthew:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask, though... I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:''' Yes, yes, I am serious about Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Okay so...uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my- of the house.

'''Matthew:''' ...With her help?

'''Chris:''' ...And get a place of my own...

'''Matthew:''' You need her help in order to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like, you know...um... Some details I'm not understand... I talk to my parents sometimes about that, but it's like, uh, you know...uh...I...it's like a...whole bunch of details...you know...yeah.

'''Matthew:''' EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need like, you know, external influence, you know, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

'''Matthew:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, you know, just go to any college board, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...but still, I mean, that's not...

'''Matthew:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with, since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know...I keep between myself...

'''Matthew:''' So, but I mean really, if you can't s-s- If you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.

===Financial Situation and Crystal the 'Tard-baby===
'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself, you know, like that uh...

'''Chris:''' I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, then t-then then why aren't you? I mean, where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do have, I do have a- I do have a- a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]]. I get, uh--

'''Matthew:''' Do you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I get it fro- yeah, pretty much- I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

'''Matthew:''' S-s-so w-why do you- why do you get welfare? Mi-might I ask? Or, whatever you call it. Um...

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of, uh, me movin- me moving out and- and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel like, and I feel that I could, that when- that- I could- I would be able to take care of Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

'''Matthew:''' Are you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

'''Matthew:''' So, ah...isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

'''Matthew:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want 'tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

'''Matthew:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

'''Matthew:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar... I can promise you that.

'''Matthew:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also...

'''Matthew:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.

'''Chris:''' [''In a relatively quiet sigh''] Great.

'''Kacey:''' Anything else, Dad?

'''Matthew:''' Ah...no, I think that's good, yeah, you go... What were you doing again?

'''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes. I'll be right back, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' I think there's some cake down there, too. Go help yourself or something.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see... If you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]].

'''Matthew:''' A dream...as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

'''Matthew:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, Cri-STAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne...

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be Cri-STAL, it would be Cri-STUL. Does that make sense?

'''Matthew:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-I-S-T-L-E, you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but even so...you said this all came to you in a dream...dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Texas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

'''Matthew:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic dreams and Bob Chandler===
'''Matthew:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in...

'''Matthew:''' That sounds like being a prophet to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

'''Matthew:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or...and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

'''Matthew:''' Naaaah... if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

'''Matthew:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

'''Matthew:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from god, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

'''Matthew:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]...

'''Matthew:''' And you hold onto this dream...I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know...time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

'''Matthew:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|draw and color]]. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I [[Medallions of Fail|sculpt]]. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|technologically smart]]. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

'''Matthew:''' So...why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

'''Matthew:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father...but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

'''Matthew:''' But...you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. That's not good, son. I mean, when I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...umm...yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand...talking about...and, you know, and your point.

'''Matthew:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.

===Kacey's boobs and Internet fame===
'''Matthew:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

'''Matthew:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.

'''Matthew:''' ''[extremely uncomfortable laughter]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm- she could be smarter than me [[Ego|on some things]].

'''Matthew:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny...

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

'''Matthew:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little..."encounter," we'll call it...she said she was a little bit...uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently when you first talked to her, you actually were [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, that [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

'''Matthew:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend [[Kim]], she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

'''Matthew:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now...he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

'''Matthew:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm Internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh...it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books...I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

'''Matthew:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so...you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

'''Matthew:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for...what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

'''Matthew:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...

'''Matthew:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together... making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, Internet, and I became Internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah...

'''Matthew:''' Don’t you... don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about... I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish... yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got Internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the Internet bullies and trolls... and, uh... and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh...

'''Matthew:''' This... okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this Internet, I mean you just, all this Internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just... this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.

===Twin Falling Towers and getting fired===
'''Matthew:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... okay... you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam... that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

'''Matthew:''' But... and then what- and then YOU, you made this... Son-ni-chu thing. I mean... it’s like... ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing... that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um... you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah... 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean... that kinda hits... that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have... I put that...

'''Matthew:'''You’re lucky I don’t... you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my... I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother... y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um... I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser Internet [[troll]], who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is Gregg Mays, and...

'''Matthew:''' You made a video...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had...

'''Matthew:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some... GUY... on the Internet... that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm... yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the Internet, trying to... you know... y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name... And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off...

'''Matthew:''' Okay, let me ask you... let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I... [''trails off with a faint groan''] Yeah, but anyway,

'''Matthew:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

'''Matthew:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day.

'''Matthew:''' ...Uh-huh. Really. That’s...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' ...That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That... are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:'''No, no I'm not changing-

'''Matthew:''' Are you just making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...

'''Matthew:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me...

'''Matthew:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

'''Matthew:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my...

'''Matthew:''' That's...this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something...

'''Matthew:''' Why do you [[sigh]] so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me...

'''Matthew:''' [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.

===Maturity, and [[chores]]===
'''Matthew:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little...your voice is all wavery...good lord. You want to date...YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

'''Matthew:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have [[Pokéwalker of Fail|moved on]] from Pokémon [[June 2010|years ago]]! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

'''Matthew:''' No, you didn't move from...you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of...enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine...

'''Matthew:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is...

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

'''Matthew:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like...

'''Matthew:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like...

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

'''Matthew:''' ...until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back...

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

'''Matthew:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

'''Matthew:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay...I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]...

'''Matthew:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' I have not played with Pokémon [[Pokéwalker of Fail|for years]], sir!

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

'''Matthew:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Matthew:''' Guitar Hero.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.

'''Matthew:''' You have to stand up to play ''guitar''! Oh, wow! That's...why don't you...that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

'''Matthew:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

'''Matthew:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know...what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

'''Matthew:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups]] you did, whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a... fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

'''Matthew:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

'''Matthew:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting very angry at this point''] Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.

===Death and fake Internet women===
'''Matthew:''' [''about to break down laughing''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had...I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to...fucking...a plane by fucking...piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my...

'''Matthew:''' And your...but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing... that's nothing...

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you...

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|Are you calling my mother a dog]]?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

'''Matthew:''' [''[[stress sigh]] of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

'''Matthew:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

'''Matthew:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

'''Matthew:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' And that's just, that's just that...you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|straws]] at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the Internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

'''Matthew:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the Internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women...

'''Matthew:''' BE A MAN...

'''Chris:''' And those [[PandaHalo|two]] [[Ivy|women]] died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that...

'''Matthew:''' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!

'''Chris:''' I, I...I may not admit, okay, well, yes...

'''Matthew:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake...fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't...no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

'''Matthew:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this [[Julie|one time]] where I actually thought it was a woman, and [[Ohio_trip|I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth]] back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.

'''Matthew:''' So you went to go to...Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I... [''angry, incoherent stammering'']

'''Matthew:''' I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.

'''Chris:''' But you're in...

'''Matthew:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

'''Matthew:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''snapping''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!

===The maggot manchild and shit starts to hit the fan===
'''Matthew:''' [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

'''Matthew:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. [[I AM STRONG|I am a STRONG MAN]]. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

'''Matthew:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

'''Matthew:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the Internet. Some lazy little maggot...

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

'''Matthew:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...

'''Matthew:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

'''Matthew:''' Yes-they-are! EVERYONE works around the house.

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...

'''Matthew:''' I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]]. It's a FUCKING MESS! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

'''Matthew:''' Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.

'''Matthew:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate...

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...

'''Matthew:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

'''Matthew:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I...oh! And you don't think...!

'''Matthew:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' '[Chris responds snidely]' Oh, and you don't think [[Chris and Remorse|carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden]]... That was a heavy burden!

'''Matthew:''' What...what the fu...are you mocking me?!

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

'''Matthew:''' Is this...are you comparing...

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under...

'''Matthew:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life...

===Kacey returns===
'''Matthew:''' Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what's up, daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What is...I mean...this guy is just fucking with me...

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

'''Matthew:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...of course, you remember when we lost grandma...

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...

'''Matthew:''' This guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''combative''] I have a lot to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Like what?!

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

'''Matthew:''' I already don't like...

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Kacey:''' What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Well...yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm...I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

'''Matthew:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well...believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

'''Matthew:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the Internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You...are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']
===Literature and health===
'''Matthew:''' And if the Internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the Internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch...yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the Internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

'''Matthew:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Mockingbird}}The last book I read... was ''[[Wikipedia:To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]''.

'''Matthew:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

'''Matthew:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

'''Matthew:''' So what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I... have... learned... that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lenny throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...

'''Matthew:''' That's ''[[Wikipedia:Of Mice and Men|Of Mice and Men]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' Yeeeaaaaah... did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the Depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is... just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

'''Matthew:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who [[Wikipedia:Atticus Finch|Atticus Finch]] was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus... hm... Atticus... hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

'''Matthew:''' Yesss... man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I... I've read it, about a month ago.

'''Matthew:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''Rage button pushed''] Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

'''Matthew:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

'''Matthew:''' And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey says you eat [[McDonald's]]. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

'''Matthew:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, [[Liquid|Chris]] is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

'''Matthew:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

'''Matthew:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

'''Chris:''' Yep!

'''Matthew:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're...[''angry sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after... that was thirty seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

'''Matthew:''' I don't...with that much...? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS...

'''Matthew:''' I'm a Marine. Not after... a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but... how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe... maybe after, I don't know, ten miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about fifteen minutes on a daily basis.

'''Matthew:''' Fifteen minutes. So you go...you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

'''Matthew:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't... you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to video-record five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You can?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

'''Matthew:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

'''Matthew:''' Don't...[''sputters'']... don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

'''Matthew:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's...how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

'''Matthew:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well... yeah, well, I can't...

'''Matthew:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like... half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, you want a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

'''Matthew:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

'''Matthew:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? [[Power|The strong man]] outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' But I...

===Liquid Chris and minimum wage jobs===
'''Matthew:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have... you would be like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

'''Matthew:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]], you're not smarter than Chris.

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!

'''Matthew:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so...you may not think so...

'''Matthew:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on [[YouTube]] where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him...

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.

 '''Matthew:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from [[Wendy's]], most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

'''Matthew:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about $8 an hour.

'''Matthew:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' If you want to do lifting, you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']

'''Matthew:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

'''Matthew:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

'''Matthew:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't lie to me. Look...

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

'''Matthew:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What's this he's talking about... minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

'''Matthew:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it...I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like...

'''Matthew:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.
===Respect and listening skills===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' He's always been... he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

'''Matthew:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

'''Matthew:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the [[True and honest|honest truth]], from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I...wh...no. [''pause''] I, I...[''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so...

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, um, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then...and then he started, he started...

'''Kacey:''' My Dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to [[God]].

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

'''Matthew:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way...

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just...grinded my gears.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

'''Matthew:''' Stop [[sigh]]ing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Didn't you just hear, she... hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...hear her say she was getting off?

'''Matthew:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

'''Matthew:''' This is... this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually, Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

'''Matthew:''' But this is... she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W... well, I'm sorry she's upset.

'''Matthew:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you... you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because...just...you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

'''Matthew:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send... I promise you. I have not been lying.

'''Matthew:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.

===Chris's pathetic life and diseased ticker===
'''Matthew:''' You sit around...what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play [[video games]] again or something?

'''Chris:''' No...

'''Matthew:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your [[Pokemon|Pokeymans]], watch [[TV]]. Sleep. Eat [[McDonald's]]. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

'''Matthew:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...

'''Matthew:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...

'''Matthew:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the Internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just...you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

'''Matthew:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.

'''Matthew:'''/font> Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''3FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...

'''Matthew:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']...

'''Matthew:''' You don't...it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

'''Matthew:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

'''Matthew:''' O... kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that...

'''Matthew:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me...tell me...how about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. [[Obesity|FAT]]. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Buddha belly}}Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

'''Matthew:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for fifteen minutes. That's... that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' Thirty minutes. And compared to...how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

'''Matthew:''' A day. That... I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

'''Matthew:''' Really...because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]]?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' I still don't think you...you still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long... do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...

'''Matthew:''' And play... okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

'''Matthew:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little [[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha belly]] and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

'''Matthew:''' And you just told me fifteen minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, fifteen minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so you don't even run fifteen minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's fifteen, they're, fifteen minutes, they're fifteen-minute intervals, like I do fifteen minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another fifteen minutes of jogging.

'''Matthew:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that...that means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking...

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's...

'''Matthew:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about a hundred beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright... [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that...yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately eighty-four right now.

'''Matthew:''' Eighty-four from just sitting around?

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like [[Wikipedia:arrhythmia|arrhythmia]] or [[Wikipedia:tachycardia|tachycardia]]. What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of [[stress]] from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to [[McDonald's]], and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're thirty.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't... less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!

'''Chris:''' Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore...

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

'''Matthew:''' She's gone again.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

===Chris blows it, but he's an American!===
'''Matthew:''' She was pretty, ah... Let's say you just blew it, man. She was— She was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well...

'''Matthew:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is...that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

'''Matthew:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about— Yes, you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

'''Matthew:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...

'''Chris:''' That's my response— That's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel— I just feel very sad for her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about— You should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, ''really'' turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, fifty pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, ''maybe''.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

'''Matthew:''' And I think she should be with her [[Liquid Chris|real fiancé]] right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like...a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly...as a friend...a true friend, a good friend...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean...

'''Matthew:''' I do know, because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well... Points of view.

'''Matthew:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. [[Autism|Belieeeeeeeeve me.]]

'''Matthew:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image...

'''Matthew:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I...am an [[United_States_of_America|''American'']]! I am proud to be an American and [[I_AM_STRONG|I am ''strong'']]. I am an individual...

[''Portal'' can again be heard faintly in the background]

'''Matthew:''' Don't tell— Don't tell me you're an American.

[''Portal'' can again be heard]

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

'''Matthew:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic... If you were patriotic, you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]]. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't...do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I— At least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am. I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video and making the apology.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans, too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.

===Chris's love and memory===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

'''Matthew:''' And you still made it. You... you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

'''Matthew:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I...I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

'''Matthew:''' You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't... that's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because... I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

'''Matthew:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

'''Matthew:''' I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would...[[CWC is Sad|you'd probably cry]], for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the Internet.

'''Chris:''' [[The Wallflower|No!]]

'''Matthew:''' Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

'''Matthew:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is "tarquoise".

'''Matthew:''' Turquoise? That's... that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 creepy date] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''

'''Matthew:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

'''Matthew:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

'''Matthew:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

'''Matthew:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

'''Matthew:''' No... [''exasperated sigh''] ... no, okay, her grandmother, who is ''my''...?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

'''Matthew:''' How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.

===Matthew crosses the line and Chris's reaction time===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

'''Matthew:''' A preschooler. God. This is... man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so... [[naïve]].

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me...

'''Matthew:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' 'A line'... You crossed the line. You've just... you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

'''Matthew:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' "Nothing at the moment?"

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

'''Matthew:''' Are you... wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to [[Death threats|threaten]] me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I... no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

'''Matthew:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

'''Matthew:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you... I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be...pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

'''Matthew:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spell-check, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

'''Matthew:''' Making... mistakes...?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

'''Matthew:''' What are you even...?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

'''Matthew:''' Well, I bet that's not the [[Slow-in-the-minds|only thing that goes faster than your brain]]. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't naïve? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

'''Matthew:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel... [[Chris and anger|anger]].

'''Matthew:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

'''Matthew:''' Okay... Here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

'''Matthew:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli... what are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

'''Matthew:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with... I'm sure your "[[autism]]" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.

'''Matthew:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.

===Experience and respect===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had twenty-seven years of experience.

'''Matthew:''' With what? Eating [[McDonald's]] and watching [[TV]]? Son, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had fifty-two years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school... prinstapull... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

'''Matthew:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...

'''Matthew:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

'''Matthew:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I... it was not a retard! No... It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to fight the school system, they wanted to put me in a [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School#The_.22institution.22|mental institution]]! But that was not...

'''Matthew:''' Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy... this is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental... if I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

'''Matthew:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']

'''Matthew:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has done nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

'''Matthew:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

'''Matthew:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

'''Matthew:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet twenty-seven years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

'''Matthew:''' And you... and you haven't, she wasn't alive twenty-seven years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole twenty-seven years.

'''Matthew:''' This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

'''Matthew:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person...

'''Chris:''' I do res...I do respect her as a person!

===Chris is creepy and bad at dating===
'''Matthew:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

'''Matthew:''' You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's...that's...that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and kick your ass right now!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!

'''Matthew:''' Her shoulder? You know, that didn't...I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

'''Matthew:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Matthew:''' Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' You trying to tell me that...I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

'''Matthew:''' She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. That's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perf/font> [''chuckles'']

/font> Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.

ume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about... on her.

'''Matthew:''' You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

'''Matthew:''' Have you...have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm...yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

'''Matthew:''' Yes...anything, any of this creepy....shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well...first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...

'''Matthew:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' [[Emily#Kiss_fail|Or even tried to]].

'''Matthew:''' ''Really''?

'''Chris:''' Truly.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? [[Two's company snapshots|Only one]].

'''Matthew:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

'''Matthew:''' And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.

'''Matthew:''' So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.

'''Matthew:''' You can't think of... I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean... I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. I took her to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]], and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

'''Matthew:''' You paid for her. And how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about $10.

'''Matthew:''' $10.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's... $10 for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.

'''Matthew:''' So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

'''Matthew:''' I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

'''Matthew:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip.

'''Chris:''' About 15% or 20%.

'''Matthew:''' So how much did you tip, then, if you paid $10?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15% of $10 is a dollar fifty.

'''Matthew:''' That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, $80 for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm... let's see... that would be about $12.

'''Matthew:''' So you would pay just $12, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.

'''Matthew:''' You could at least... they're not rich either. They still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well... good for them.

'''Matthew:''' You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' You've given me nothing.

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

'''Matthew:''' And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

'''Matthew:''' And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you...

'''Matthew:''' You need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

'''Matthew:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.

===Endgame===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence''] Well... I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

'''Matthew:''' Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

'''Matthew:''' Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's... that's...

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for fifteen to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe...you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

'''Matthew:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. You know that song, that [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|"Whole New World,"]] from that Disney movie? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

'''Matthew:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

'''Matthew:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

'''Matthew:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

'''Matthew:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...

'''Matthew:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the [[Wikipedia:Aladdin (film)|''Aladdin'']] movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than ten times. In my lifetime. At this point.

'''Matthew:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence''] I see.

'''Matthew:''' Well, this, this is really...this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a...I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together.

'''Kacey:''' [''Bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?!

'''Matthew:''' [''Cracks the fuck up'']

'''Kacey:''' You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''Heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess...maybe I did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. You can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing. Where the Hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So you know what? I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the two hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven two hours as well. But I did not know...

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then... and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough. Because you haven't done anything like that. You've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, three songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing for me. Come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the [[stress|STRESS]]. I can't do this. I want a real man.

'''Kacey:''' [''Silence again''] You can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you've done, Chris. Look what you've done!

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's all he can say, I'm done.

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

'''Matthew:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.

'''Kacey:''' I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' [''Silence reigns''] I would like to say...good evening.

'''Matthew:''' So...what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==
*[https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBNloweEFQOElEdjA/edit?usp=sharing Link to MP3 on Google Drive]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ddn91nknqahn87a mp3 of phone call]
*[[Niggo|Niggo-rigged]] audio ripped & combined from YouTube vids in [http://db.tt/vNbYguZ0 OGG] or [http://db.tt/akLWEieq MP3]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhp5WyvPWNI the call on YouTube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

2010s

2015-01-01T05:41:39Z

Wildsonichu: /* Events of 2014 */

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|In '''2010''', Chris débuted the Gay Trucker.]]
[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|Chris in '''2011'''.]]
[[File:11 10 12 facebook pic.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2012'''.]]
[[File:Haters to the left.jpg|thumb|In '''2013''', Chris told da [[trolls]] where to go. (to the right?)]]
[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|In '''2014''', Chris was desperate for [[money]].]]
The '''2010s''', the final frontier (for [[Chris]]'s cholesterol, that is).

So far, the decade has been known for his inactivity on the Internet and the consequences of his actions.

==2010==

===Events of 2010===
::''Main article: [[2010]]''
2010 brought the ''[[Asperchu]]'' feuds, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Magical Man Potion]], [[Surfshack Tito]], [[Jackie]], a vehicular attack on [[Michael Snyder]], [[JenkinsJinkies]], the [[Greene County Conspiracy]], [[Fridays After Five]], the destruction of the [[PS3]] and Chris quitting the Internet, possibly for good.
==2011==

===Events of 2011===
::''Main article: [[2011]]''

2011 brought deathly silence until the release of the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], followed by [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]], [[Calling Out]], [[Bob]]'s passing, the publication of [[Sonichu]]'s image by ''Slylock Fox'', and [[28 October 2011|a mother-and-son attack on the GAMe PLACe]] resulting in felony charges for the Chandlers.

==2012==

===Events of 2012===
::''Main article: [[2012]]''

Chris kept quiet in 2012, not uploading a single video. He lost his virginity to a hooker, so as not to lose it to a [[homo]]-[[niggo]] in prison, but both he and Barb got away with probation at their [[This is how the Trial went|trial]]. They later adopted [[Clover and Snoopy|two dogs]]. Chris's [[Facebook]] messages were also leaked.

==2013==

===Events of 2013===
::''Main article: [[2013]]''
In 2013, Chris [[Chris in the media#MTV's Failosophy|appeared on MTV]], whined about [[homo]] marriage, got kicked out of [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|his church]], cut ties with [[Rocky]], pledged not to bother the [[GAMe PLACe]], [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|returned to YouTube]] found out that his high-school [[gal-pals]] were only pitying him, and made a [[Tour of Chris's House II|new house tour]].

==2014==

===Events of 2014===
::''Main article: [[2014]]''

In 2014, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|Chris's house burned to the ground]]. He and Barb became even more strapped for cash, with Chris trying to sell his art on [[eBay]] and supposedly shoplifting from [[Best Buy]]. He was arrested in December for [[GameStop_Assault|assaulting an employee at GameStop]].

==Sources==
{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

February 2015

2014-12-30T00:53:36Z

Wildsonichu:

{{Ongoing}}
'''February''' will be the second month of '''[[2015]]'''. [[Chris]] will stand trial again for [[GameStop Assault|the events of Boxing Day 2014]] on the 5th.

==Events of February 2015==
* 5 February - Chris's next court date following the [[26 December 2014|GameStop incident]] will take place.
* 24 February - Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns 33]].

{{Timeline}}

February 2015

2014-12-30T00:53:24Z

Wildsonichu:

{{Ongoing}}
'''February''' will be the second month of '''[[2015]]'''. [[Chris]] will stand trial agan for [[GameStop Assault|the events of Boxing Day 2014]] on the 5th.

==Events of February 2015==
* 5 February - Chris's next court date following the [[26 December 2014|GameStop incident]] will take place.
* 24 February - Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns 33]].

{{Timeline}}

2015

2014-12-30T00:35:44Z

Wildsonichu:

{{Ongoing}}
2015 will be the seventh year of organized trolling. However, this assumes that does not change in [[2014]], but [[GameStop_Assault|with the recent events]] of [[December 2014]], Chris could be spending most of 2015 in prison.

==Events of 2015==
*Sometime during the course of year, Chris will have been married to [[Lovely Weather]] and participated in a medical study to cure [[Homos|homosexuality]], as predicted in [[Sonichu 10]]. With the year slowly creeping in and little sign of [[Chris and reality|this actually happening]], it's safe to say that Chris's expectations of the future may have lead him on a bit too much.
*Chris could be serving time in prison [[GameStop_Assault|due to his recent incarceration]]. Depending on the outcome of his trial on February 5th, whether or not this is true is up for speculation. But, you can rest assured, Chris will most definitely paint himself as the victim, and not the person he assaulted.

==January==

*As of [[December 2014]], Chris had also announced that he would be moving back to the recently renovated [[14 Branchland Court]], possibly within the course of the month or early January.

==February==
*As of December 29th, the trial for the [[GameStop Assault]] has been continued and the next court date is set for February 5th.

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]

2014

2014-12-30T00:33:15Z

Wildsonichu: /* December */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Starts the year by burning his own house down, ends the year by going to jail for assault. Bravo, Chris.|A forum poster summing up 2014}}
[[File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG|thumb|Chris in [[July 2014]].]]

'''2014''' is the sixth year of organized trolling since Chris's discovery. Like [[2011|the]] [[2012|three]] [[2013|years]] before it, it appeared as if it would have started off with nothing of note ''(save for the occasional rant by Chris on his [[Facebook]] account)''...until it was revealed on the 11th of January that the Chandler household caught fire. Similar to incidents involving his [[28 October 2011|past arrest]] and the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], this was a major dilemma facing his family, and some speculated that these big changes in his life would bring about big changes in Chris himself. Chris did undergo some changes, but they were mostly either irrelevant or just further steps towards complete insanity. Some trolls have noted, however, that given all that has happened to him, Chris has lost a lot of energy, and has begun to show signs of being mentally burned out.

Following the fire, Chris began to sell some of his stuff for money, such as his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing‎]]. This is notable as, for a change, Chris is actually earning some of his money instead of purely relying on his [[Monthly Tugboat]], something which was not seen since his days at [[Wendy's]].
Though many problems have more or less sorted themselves out in the past year, this year does continue the fallout from 2013. In August, Chris augmented his tomgirlish ways and came out as a "Lesbian-Identified Male", and began attending LGBT events around Charlottesville (likely against the wishes of other attendees). He also revealed he found himself [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|a new girlfriend]], later confirmed to be a troll.

Around the release of the new [[Sonic]] game, ''Sonic Boom'', Chris became consumed by a vehement desire to denounce the game, encouraging others to boycott it and even defacing in-store copies of the game. Chris's cited reason for this behaviour is, in true CWC fashion, because of an extremely minor design element present only on this non-canon part of the franchise; Sonic's arms are blue.

On the bright side, however, at the end of the year, Chris announced that 14 Branchland Court was finally repaired, and would be moving back in [[2015]]. Unfortunately, Chris has seen fit to fuck up his chances of going home ''(as well as any sympathy the trolls were starting to have for him)'' - he was recorded assaulting an innocent GameStop employee with pepper spray, an action that landed him in ''jail'', awaiting trial on the 29th, literally 2 days before the end of the year.

==January==
[[File:IMG 0532 zps78876bfb.jpg|thumb|240px|[[14 Branchland Court]], 1-2 days after its [[Destruction Of Chris's House|destruction]].]]
{{main|January 2014}}
This month began with little note, until [[Destruction Of Chris's House‎|Chris's house caught fire]]. The rest of the month was mostly spent on recovering.

==February==
{{main|February 2014}}
Chris turns 32. Two videos are leaked: [[Hello, my sweety baby]] and [[Message for John Kyle]].

==March==
{{main|March 2014}}
Some [[Misc E-mails|e-mails]] were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]], one of them provides interesting info about Chris's days at [[Manchester High School]], involving him getting bullied on a daily basis. Chris was also rumoured to be shoplifting at Best Buy, with Chris posted two Facebook posts about this rumour.

==April==
{{main|April 2014}}
[[File:April 2014 Target sighting.jpg|thumb|April sighting in Target.]]
Pictures of Chris's house and info about the [[Rental House]] are leaked. Chris is spotted at a local [[Target]] by a reddit user.

==May==
{{main|May 2014}}

Chris lists some old airplane models and a violin on [[eBay]]. He begs for [[Lego]] on Facebook, and confirms that [[Simonla_Rosechu#Resurrection|Simonla has been resurrected]].

==June==
[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|left|thumb|Chris in June 2014.]]

{{main|June 2014}}
Chris tried to sell a painting on [[eBay]], but was suspended. He then tried again, and was suspended again. Meanwhile, a troll snuck into [[14 Branchland Court]] and recovered [[Manchester High Leaks|some documents]] which feature samples of his academic work, and show that he received [[Honor Roll|very poor marks]].

==July==
[[File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in July.]]
{{main|July 2014}}
Chris sells [[autographed photos]] of himself on eBay. Also, his latest [[OkCupid]] profile was found by [[CWCki Forums|Forums]] user.

11 July was last day of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s two-year-long probation, her sentence from the trial for the events of [[28 October 2011]].

==August==
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|180px|"Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny" in August.]]
{{main|August 2014}}
Chris comes out on Facebook as "Lesbian Identified Male" and self described "Intersex" "Cross-Dressing Tranny." He also expresses solidarity with the movement for LGBT equality, although he is very unhappy about having to include [[Homos|gay males]]. He also reveals he has a new girlfriend.

==September==
[[File:Chris chan sep14.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in September.]]
{{main|September 2014}}

Chris sells tons of stuff on eBay, and obtains materials to make more [[medallion]]s and mass-produces them.

==October==
{{main|October 2014}}
[[File:Chrischan_oct14.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in October.]]
This month is notable in that it marked a significant resurgence in video-making, as well as more possibilities about his [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|anonymous galpal]], his growing (professed) support for LGBT activism, and his ongoing hatred for eBay (especially after the [[To Mr. Smith|Mr. Smith fiasco]]) and ''Sonic Boom''.

==November==
{{main|November 2014}}
Chris spent this month mostly raging over the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Boom'' game, before he embarrassed himself silly while raging over a small brushfire occuring near his house, and accidentally doxxed himself yet again. His Facebook friends then helped him make a new version of [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], which lasts for just 10 days prior to being shut down due to 404 errors, DDoS attacks, and complaints over its name--"[[Aspergers|Sperg]]web". Then, it ended on a particularly depressing note for him, as he was quickly booted off his Keep Sonic Original group for making graphic [[death threats]] to Sega.

==December==
{{main|December 2014}}
*25 December - [[Christmas]]. Sadly for Chris, no [[sweetheart]] under the C-Mas tree this year.
*27 December - Chris is seen defacing a Sonic Boom display at GameStop. His escape is caught on video. It is so far unknown if security caught him. [http://monozettai.tumblr.com/post/106261810945/so-i-ran-into-someone-today-while-i-was-waiting Link]
*28 December - Chris is confirmed to be in jail after the [[26 December 2014|GameStop incident]]. His trial is set for the 29th December, 2014.
*29 December - Chris goes to court for the incident. He will stand trial again on February 5th, 2015. He was bailed out later that day and posted his side of the story on [[Facebook]], and as usual, [[Chris_and_his_ego|he claims he was the victim]].

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2014

2014-12-29T17:08:55Z

Wildsonichu: /* December */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Starts the year by burning his own house down, ends the year by going to jail for assault. Bravo, Chris.|A forum poster summing up 2014}}
[[File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG|thumb|Chris in [[July 2014]].]]

'''2014''' is the sixth year of organized trolling since Chris's discovery. Like [[2011|the]] [[2012|three]] [[2013|years]] before it, it appeared as if it would have started off with nothing of note ''(save for the occasional rant by Chris on his [[Facebook]] account)''...until it was revealed on the 11th of January that the Chandler household caught fire. Similar to incidents involving his [[28 October 2011|past arrest]] and the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], this was a major dilemma facing his family, and some speculated that these big changes in his life would bring about big changes in Chris himself. Chris did undergo some changes, but they were mostly either irrelevant or just further steps towards complete insanity. Some trolls have noted, however, that given all that has happened to him, Chris has lost a lot of energy, and has begun to show signs of being mentally burned out.

Following the fire, Chris began to sell some of his stuff for money, such as his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing‎]]. This is notable as, for a change, Chris is actually earning some of his money instead of purely relying on his [[Monthly Tugboat]], something which was not seen since his days at [[Wendy's]].
Though many problems have more or less sorted themselves out in the past year, this year does continue the fallout from 2013. In August, Chris augmented his tomgirlish ways and came out as a "Lesbian-Identified Male", and began attending LGBT events around Charlottesville (likely against the wishes of other attendees). He also revealed he found himself [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|a new girlfriend]], later confirmed to be a troll.

Around the release of the new [[Sonic]] game, ''Sonic Boom'', Chris became consumed by a vehement desire to denounce the game, encouraging others to boycott it and even defacing in-store copies of the game. Chris's cited reason for this behaviour is, in true CWC fashion, because of an extremely minor design element present only on this non-canon part of the franchise; Sonic's arms are blue.

On the bright side, however, at the end of the year, Chris announced that 14 Branchland Court was finally repaired, and would be moving back in [[2015]]. Unfortunately, Chris has seen fit to fuck up his chances of going home ''(as well as any sympathy the trolls were starting to have for him)'' - he was recorded assaulting an innocent GameStop employee with pepper spray, an action that landed him in ''jail'', awaiting trial on the 29th, literally 2 days before the end of the year.

==January==
[[File:IMG 0532 zps78876bfb.jpg|thumb|240px|[[14 Branchland Court]], 1-2 days after its [[Destruction Of Chris's House|destruction]].]]
{{main|January 2014}}
This month began with little note, until [[Destruction Of Chris's House‎|Chris's house caught fire]]. The rest of the month was mostly spent on recovering.

==February==
{{main|February 2014}}
Chris turns 32. Two videos are leaked: [[Hello, my sweety baby]] and [[Message for John Kyle]].

==March==
{{main|March 2014}}
Some [[Misc E-mails|e-mails]] were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]], one of them provides interesting info about Chris's days at [[Manchester High School]], involving him getting bullied on a daily basis. Chris was also rumoured to be shoplifting at Best Buy, with Chris posted two Facebook posts about this rumour.

==April==
{{main|April 2014}}
[[File:April 2014 Target sighting.jpg|thumb|April sighting in Target.]]
Pictures of Chris's house and info about the [[Rental House]] are leaked. Chris is spotted at a local [[Target]] by a reddit user.

==May==
{{main|May 2014}}

Chris lists some old airplane models and a violin on [[eBay]]. He begs for [[Lego]] on Facebook, and confirms that [[Simonla_Rosechu#Resurrection|Simonla has been resurrected]].

==June==
[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|left|thumb|Chris in June 2014.]]

{{main|June 2014}}
Chris tried to sell a painting on [[eBay]], but was suspended. He then tried again, and was suspended again. Meanwhile, a troll snuck into [[14 Branchland Court]] and recovered [[Manchester High Leaks|some documents]] which feature samples of his academic work, and show that he received [[Honor Roll|very poor marks]].

==July==
[[File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in July.]]
{{main|July 2014}}
Chris sells [[autographed photos]] of himself on eBay. Also, his latest [[OkCupid]] profile was found by [[CWCki Forums|Forums]] user.

11 July was last day of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s two-year-long probation, her sentence from the trial for the events of [[28 October 2011]].

==August==
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|180px|"Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny" in August.]]
{{main|August 2014}}
Chris comes out on Facebook as "Lesbian Identified Male" and self described "Intersex" "Cross-Dressing Tranny." He also expresses solidarity with the movement for LGBT equality, although he is very unhappy about having to include [[Homos|gay males]]. He also reveals he has a new girlfriend.

==September==
[[File:Chris chan sep14.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in September.]]
{{main|September 2014}}

Chris sells tons of stuff on eBay, and obtains materials to make more [[medallion]]s and mass-produces them.

==October==
{{main|October 2014}}
[[File:Chrischan_oct14.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in October.]]
This month is notable in that it marked a significant resurgence in video-making, as well as more possibilities about his [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|anonymous galpal]], his growing (professed) support for LGBT activism, and his ongoing hatred for eBay (especially after the [[To Mr. Smith|Mr. Smith fiasco]]) and ''Sonic Boom''.

==November==
{{main|November 2014}}
Chris spent this month mostly raging over the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Boom'' game, before he embarrassed himself silly while raging over a small brushfire occuring near his house, and accidentally doxxed himself yet again. His Facebook friends then helped him make a new version of [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], which lasts for just 10 days prior to being shut down due to 404 errors, DDoS attacks, and complaints over its name--"[[Aspergers|Sperg]]web". Then, it ended on a particularly depressing note for him, as he was quickly booted off his Keep Sonic Original group for making graphic [[death threats]] to Sega.

==December==
{{main|December 2014}}
*25 December - [[Christmas]]. Sadly for Chris, no [[sweetheart]] under the C-Mas tree this year.
*27 December - Chris is seen defacing a Sonic Boom display at GameStop. His escape is caught on video. It is so far unknown if security caught him. [http://monozettai.tumblr.com/post/106261810945/so-i-ran-into-someone-today-while-i-was-waiting Link]
*28 December - Chris is confirmed to be in jail after the [[GameSpot Assault]] incident. His trial is set for the 29th December, 2014.
*29 December - Chris goes to court for the incident. He will stand trial again on February 5th, 2015. Until then, he remains in custody.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2015

2014-12-29T17:05:31Z

Wildsonichu:

{{Ongoing}}
2015 will be the seventh year of organized trolling. However, this assumes that does not change in [[2014]], but [[GameStop_Assault|with the recent events]] of [[December 2014]], Chris will be spending most of 2015 in prison.

==Events of 2015==
*Sometime during the course of year, Chris will have been married to [[Lovely Weather]] and participated in a medical study to cure [[Homos|homosexuality]], as predicted in [[Sonichu 10]]. With the year slowly creeping in and little sign of [[Chris and reality|this actually happening]], it's safe to say that Chris's expectations of the future may have lead him on a bit too much.
*Chris will be serving time in prison [[GameStop_Assault|due to his recent incarceration]]. Depending on the outcome of his trial on February 5th, whether or not this is true is up for speculation.

==January==

*As of [[December 2014]], Chris had also announced that he would be moving back to the recently renovated [[14 Branchland Court]], possibly within the course of the month or early January.

==February==
*As of December 29th, the trial for the [[GameStop Assault]] has been continued and the next court date is set for February 5th.

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]

2014

2014-12-29T07:59:35Z

Wildsonichu: /* December */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG|thumb|Chris in [[July 2014]].]]

'''2014''' is the sixth year of organized trolling since Chris's discovery. Like [[2011|the]] [[2012|three]] [[2013|years]] before it, it appeared as if it would have started off with nothing of note ''(save for the occasional rant by Chris on his [[Facebook]] account)''...until it was revealed on the 11th of January that the Chandler household caught fire. Similar to incidents involving his [[28 October 2011|past arrest]] and the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], this was a major dilemma facing his family, and some speculated that these big changes in his life would bring about big changes in Chris himself. Chris did undergo some changes, but they were mostly either irrelevant or just further steps towards complete insanity. Some trolls have noted, however, that given all that has happened to him, Chris has lost a lot of energy, and has begun to show signs of being mentally burned out.

Following the fire, Chris began to sell some of his stuff for money, such as his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing‎]]. This is notable as, for a change, Chris is actually earning some of his money instead of purely relying on his [[Monthly Tugboat]], something which was not seen since his days at [[Wendy's]].
Though many problems have more or less sorted themselves out in the past year, this year does continue the fallout from 2013. In August, Chris augmented his tomgirlish ways and came out as a "Lesbian-Identified Male", and began attending LGBT events around Charlottesville (likely against the wishes of other attendees). He also revealed he found himself [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|a new girlfriend]], later confirmed to be a troll.

Around the release of the new [[Sonic]] game, ''Sonic Boom'', Chris became consumed by a vehement desire to denounce the game, encouraging others to boycott it and even defacing in-store copies of the game. Chris's cited reason for this behaviour is, in true CWC fashion, because of an extremely minor design element present only on this non-canon part of the franchise; Sonic's arms are blue.

On the bright side, however, at the end of the year, Chris announced that 14 Branchland Court was finally repaired, and would be moving back in [[2015]]. Unfortunately, Chris has seen fit to fuck up his chances of going home ''(as well as any sympathy the trolls were starting to have for him)'' - he was recorded assaulting an innocent GameStop employee with pepper spray, an action that landed him in ''jail'', awaiting trial on the 29th, literally 2 days before the end of the year.

==January==
[[File:IMG 0532 zps78876bfb.jpg|thumb|240px|[[14 Branchland Court]], 1-2 days after its [[Destruction Of Chris's House|destruction]].]]
{{main|January 2014}}
This month began with little note, until [[Destruction Of Chris's House‎|Chris's house caught fire]]. The rest of the month was mostly spent on recovering.

==February==
{{main|February 2014}}
Chris turns 32. Two videos are leaked: [[Hello, my sweety baby]] and [[Message for John Kyle]].

==March==
{{main|March 2014}}
Some [[Misc E-mails|e-mails]] were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]], one of them provides interesting info about Chris's days at [[Manchester High School]], involving him getting bullied on a daily basis. Chris was also rumoured to be shoplifting at Best Buy, with Chris posted two Facebook posts about this rumour.

==April==
{{main|April 2014}}
[[File:April 2014 Target sighting.jpg|thumb|April sighting in Target.]]
Pictures of Chris's house and info about the [[Rental House]] are leaked. Chris is spotted at a local [[Target]] by a reddit user.

==May==
{{main|May 2014}}

Chris lists some old airplane models and a violin on [[eBay]]. He begs for [[Lego]] on Facebook, and confirms that [[Simonla_Rosechu#Resurrection|Simonla has been resurrected]].

==June==
[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|left|thumb|Chris in June 2014.]]

{{main|June 2014}}
Chris tried to sell a painting on [[eBay]], but was suspended. He then tried again, and was suspended again. Meanwhile, a troll snuck into [[14 Branchland Court]] and recovered [[Manchester High Leaks|some documents]] which feature samples of his academic work, and show that he received [[Honor Roll|very poor marks]].

==July==
[[File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in July.]]
{{main|July 2014}}
Chris sells [[autographed photos]] of himself on eBay. Also, his latest [[OkCupid]] profile was found by [[CWCki Forums|Forums]] user.

11 July was last day of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s two-year-long probation, her sentence from the trial for the events of [[28 October 2011]].

==August==
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|180px|"Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny" in August.]]
{{main|August 2014}}
Chris comes out on Facebook as "Lesbian Identified Male" and self described "Intersex" "Cross-Dressing Tranny." He also expresses solidarity with the movement for LGBT equality, although he is very unhappy about having to include [[Homos|gay males]]. He also reveals he has a new girlfriend.

==September==
[[File:Chris chan sep14.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in September.]]
{{main|September 2014}}

Chris sells tons of stuff on eBay, and obtains materials to make more [[medallion]]s and mass-produces them.

==October==
{{main|October 2014}}
[[File:Chrischan_oct14.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in October.]]
This month is notable in that it marked a significant resurgence in video-making, as well as more possibilities about his [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|anonymous galpal]], his growing (professed) support for LGBT activism, and his ongoing hatred for eBay (especially after the [[To Mr. Smith|Mr. Smith fiasco]]) and ''Sonic Boom''.

==November==
{{main|November 2014}}
Chris spent this month mostly raging over the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Boom'' game, before he embarrassed himself silly while raging over a small brushfire occuring near his house, and accidentally doxxed himself yet again. His Facebook friends then helped him make a new version of [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], which lasts for just 10 days prior to being shut down due to 404 errors, DDoS attacks, and complaints over its name--"[[Aspergers|Sperg]]web". Then, it ended on a particularly depressing note for him, as he was quickly booted off his Keep Sonic Original group for making graphic [[death threats]] to Sega.

==December==
{{main|December 2014}}
*25 December - [[Christmas]]. Sadly for Chris, no [[sweetheart]] under the C-Mas tree this year.
*27 December - Chris is seen defacing a Sonic Boom display at GameStop. His escape is caught on video. It is so far unknown if security caught him. [http://monozettai.tumblr.com/post/106261810945/so-i-ran-into-someone-today-while-i-was-waiting Link]
*28 December - Chris is confirmed to be in jail after the [[GameSpot Assault]] incident. His trial is set for the 29th December, 2014.
*29 December - Chris will stand trial for the incident. Whether or not he is imprisoned is up for speculation.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2015

2014-12-29T07:57:15Z

Wildsonichu: /* Events of 2015 */

{{Ongoing}}
2015 will be the seventh year of organized trolling. However, this assumes that does not change in [[2014]], but [[GameStop_Assault|with the recent events]] of [[December 2014]], there's a very good possibility Chris may be spending most of 2015 in prison.

==Events of 2015==
*Sometime during the course of year, Chris will have been married to [[Lovely Weather]] and participated in a medical study to cure [[Homos|homosexuality]], as predicted in [[Sonichu 10]]. With the year slowly creeping in and little sign of [[Chris and reality|this actually happening]], it's safe to say that Chris's expectations of the future may have lead him on a bit too much.
*There's a very good possibility that Chris may be spending his time in prison [[GameStop_Assault|due to his recent incarceration]]. Whether or not this is true is up for speculation.

==January==

*As of [[December 2014]], Chris had also announced that he will be moving back to the recently renovated [[14 Branchland Court]], possibly within the course of the month or early January.

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]

2015

2014-12-29T07:55:27Z

Wildsonichu:

2015

2014-12-29T07:54:30Z

Wildsonichu:

{{Ongoing}}
2015 will be the seventh year of organized trolling. However, this assumes that does not change in [[2014]]. However, [[GameStop_Assault|with the recent events]] of [[December 2014]], there's a very good possibility Chris may be spending most of 2015 in prison.

==Events of 2015==
*Sometime during the course of year, Chris will have been married to [[Lovely Weather]] and participated in a medical study to cure [[Homos|homosexuality]], as predicted in [[Sonichu 10]]. With the year slowly creeping in and little sign of [[Chris and reality|this actually happening]], it's safe to say that Chris's expectations of the future may have lead him on a bit too much.

==January==

*As of [[December 2014]], Chris had also announced that he will be moving back to the recently renovated [[14 Branchland Court]], possibly within the course of the month or early January.

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]

Mailbag 47

2014-06-03T23:43:03Z

Wildsonichu: /* Begone */

'''Mailbag 47''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 26 [[January 2010]] and answered on 30 January 2010.

Perhaps the most notable response in this mailbag is Chris saying that [[stress]] could [[Heart level|kill him]], and then hoping that [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] give heavenly guidance to fans of [[Asperchu]], directing them away from Alec's creation and back to the Sonichu Comics. Chris also claims that it's okay for him to show so much Rosechu Cameltoe in his comics on the basis that most children will eventually be exposed to such things in real life. An interesting stance to take, considering Chris's real life [[Virgin with Rage|hasn't been so accommodating]]. Other highlights include Chris's reaction to [[Kimmi]] fanart, and another implausible claim of Chris being related to [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Answered==

===The reprobate and the elect===
{{Email|From: Amber Noble <[[Wikipedia:Rocket to Russia|teenagelobotomy]]1000@yahoo.com>

Chris,

In that "[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu is a horrendous joke]]" video you said that all the [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] in Alec Benson Leary's comic were ones he caught in the wild. I thought there was only one [[Sonichu]] in the world, one [[Rosechu]], one [[Punchy Sonichu]], etc. So now are there a bunch of Sonichus that are identical to the Sonichu featured in your [[comic]] running around zapping to the extreme? If so, where did they come from and how do they tell each other apart? Could any of them trick Rosechu into thinking they're the original Sonichu for sexual purposes? How does Rosechu know she's sleeping with the Sonichu she married and not some [[imposter]]?}}
{{EmailReply|UNLESS taught fluent Spoken Language, all the wild ones will ONLY say "Sonichu" or "Rosechu" respectively, just as most other [[Pok'emon]]. Other Eggs have come out of the [[Rainbow]] of Chaotic Energy, of which most of them are just Sonichus and Rosechus that are fated to be simply wild Pok'emon.}}

===Dying from stress===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Valentina Tereshkova|Valentina Tereshkova]] <jurasicos@yahoo.com>

Chris, I'm still a [[loyal]] Sonichu fan. And frankly, I'm worried. While you don't update the [[CWCipedia]] or give your fans anything for days, Alec is continuously producing new pages and gaining new fans. And quite frankly, some of his stuff is pretty good.

I, and the remaining Sonichu fans, would like to know: what's your strategy for dealing with this? How are you going to regain the fans that have gone over to the dark side? I know that a supremely intelligent and creative genius like you has thought of something by now.

I'm afraid that even then, you're not going to be able to turn the tide yourself, and you're going to need to rely on your fans to help you. So share your plans with us, let us work with you. You're not alone Chris, we can help. Let's work together to bring Sonichu back to its rightful place on top of the comics pyramid.

Yours,

Valentina}}
{{EmailReply|Yes, I agree with you, I will need my loyal fans to help me turn the tide to bring those who turned the other cheek on me back. I will be continuing to draw my daily 2 or so pages a day and upload them the following late morning/early afternoon (to sync with my recent [[biological clock]] reset). I also appreciate your kind words and direct, yet gentle, criticisms. I will also be adding more character bio pages to the Cwcipedia soon. I try not to stress out over everything; if I did, I would have probably died years ago from stress. I just continue on and pray that y'all, [[God and Jesus]] show the past fans the light shining the error of their choice.
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:11, 31 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Children will be seeing furry porn in real life===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Tom Vilsack|Tom Vilsack]] <agriculturerocks@aol.com>

How are panty shots of Rosechu "fan service?" I mean, only perverts get off to furry cartoon characters. And isn't this a comic for little kids? Do little kids need "fan service" like panty shots and female characters' genitals being outlined through their clothes?}}
{{EmailReply|Children will likely be seeing the same things in real life, so mellow out and let them learn a bit, and further educate the children with discussions.}}

===Pseudo-apologies===
[[Image:Flambai Sonichu.JPG|thumb|Poor kid]]
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com
Hello CWC,

Well, my young son is back to talking now, and he is reading your Sonichu comic, but he says that he enjoys another comic more; I believe it is called "[[Moon-Pals]]"
This wonderful comic focussed on the characters he wanted to see, and he loves it, but when you said those horrible things about the moon-pals comic in your Sonichu comic, he went back into being catatonic, he won't eat, and he keeps crying. here's some fanart he drew before the incident

Sincerely
Sarah Lutt}}
{{EmailReply|I have recently apologized for those accusations in a recent video, and I pray your son comes back around. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:11, 31 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Crudely drawn===
{{Email|From: Cheaterx@gmail.com <cheaterx@gmail.com>

I've been a long time fan of Sonichu, but recently, after seeing an ad, I started reading the Asperchu comics. I have to say, I like your Asperchu comic better than your Sonichu comic. Asperchu is a much better written and better drawn character. Have you ever considered canceling Sonichu so that your company can devote all their energy on Asperchu, giving it the attention it deserves? I really would like that.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, as I have stated before, '''Asperchu is NOT MY CHARACTER; him and those crudely drawn pages belong ONLY to Alec Benson Leary. I still have NO connection whatsoever with him, and the ads were placed on the Cwcipedia without my consent.}}

===Does this count as interracial marriage?===
{{Email|From: David J Stirling <megaluigi4@hotmail.com>
I don't think you know the true mechanics of [[Pokemon]], Christian. In your latest comic, [[Sonichu|Sonchu]] used a Mud Slap against a Nidoking, taking him down to half health. You also said Ground Type attacks are strong against Poison types, which is true. Nidoking, however, is a Ground Type. Meaning he resists the attack by 1/2 damage. The Base Power of Mud Slap is 20, meaning that Sonichu himself would have to have a gamebreaking Attack stat in order to cause any damage to Nidoking, much less half of it's health.

Scyther and Venusaur aren't even in the same breeding group either.

For someone who's considered a Pokemon Master, you surely don't know your stuff.}}
{{EmailReply|Earthquake against Nidoking is still Super Effective; Mud-Slap is the same, but less damage, thus taking Nidoking down to half as I have described. I never said the father Scyther and mother Venusaur had their own Birth Children; they still loved each other as I had drawn them to be.}}

===Momentary pause to torture===
[[Image:CreepichuKimmi.jpg|thumb|Adorably psychotic]]

{{Email|From: Rosie W <doktorschnitzelv2@googlemail.com>

Hey Chris!

I wanted to show you my OC Creepichu Rosechu so I attatched(sic) my picture of her, I know you are not a huge fan of digital drawing but I don't have a scanner or a working [[camera]]. She's an escaped mental patient who was turned into a hedgehog when Sonichu tried to snatch the severed limb she was chewing off her and accidently(sic) sent a shock through. She's reformed now and only eats the flesh off the recent dead instead of killing people, and can help the other Sonichus and Rosechus in battle with her razor sharp teeth, super speed and ability to survive for long periods of time without any sleep. She likes shopping, flowers, long walks in the park, daytime television shows, eating flesh,breaking into houses and watching people sleep, talking to herself, camwhoring on [[4-cent_garbage.com|4cent garbage]] and often has to wear a straight jacket in public incase she gets violent.

Her best friend is [[Kimmi|Kimmi the lovedoll]] :)

I was wondering if you'd like to use her in your comic, she's desperately lonely and missing a true and honest [[sweetheart]] of her very own. I'm sure you could help her :3

Lots of love from London!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx}}
{{EmailReply|I will consider Creepella Rosechu. But there was never any place for the unappreciated drawn recreation of the love doll. Either you are misdirected or you are a [[Troll]] giving me a momentary piece of torture; which are you?}}

===He's working on it!===
{{Email|From: [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]
Hey Chris,

I was just wondering, why does the CWCipedia suck in comparison to Asperpedia? The CWCipedia has been around for significantly longer yet has a relatively poor format and tiny amount of articles. You do not even have a Rosechu article, and she's one of your main characters! I know they have more people to work on Asperpedia considering their [[fanbase]] is still running strong and they have several artists, but still, it's not like you have a job or anything. I really think you should put less time into playing with toys and more time into the CWCipedia if you want to halt the the rapid decline of your fanbase.

Barbara}}
{{EmailReply|I am working on the improvements, and I do plan on creating more character bio pages the coming week.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Begone===
''Chris combined the following two emails into one and answered them before thinking better of it and moving them to the rejected mailbag.''
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"You think I DENY MY OWN MISTAKES, ERRORS and ORDEALS?"

Here are a few examples:

You lied to your [[father]] about having the house videos off of the internet.

You tried to lie your way out of trouble at [[Wal-Mart]]

You lied about having reached an agreement with [[Evan]].

You tried to downplay the fact that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|you shit your pants]].

You claim that you're not [[fat]].

You claim that your [[art]] is good(Your family and [[Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|congregation]] don't count, they're just saying so to be polite).

You lie about being related to [[Anne Boleyn|Ann Boylen]].

You're probably lying about the [[honor roll]].

Just to name a few.}}

{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"Well, at least I do answer my Letters."

Many times you don't even answer the question. Stuffing some words under a letter doesn't count as an answer unless they answer the question asked in the letter.

One letter asked you to describe why you didn't like Asperchu and you began rambling about nightmares.

Oh, and "Whatever" and "No comment" aren't answers.

"And I am certain he deletes EVERY LAST LETTER he is the least offended by, or REWORDS ALL of such;"

Did you know that due to the magic of Wiki software, you can go back to earlier versions of a page or even track edits made?

Alec has never done this and the history on Asperpedia is proof.

You, on the other hand, have attempted to reword five letters and have utterly deleted sixty five.

So you've freaked out over seventy total emails while Alec has yet to even move ONE to his alternate mailbags or delete it.

That just proves that Alec can deal with his fans in a far more civil manner. :p

"AT least I put most of those letters in a seperate bag and give them notice and attention appropriately."

You have not used any of the separate Mailbags since [[Mailbag 24]] and the Rejected Mailbag has seen minimal use since [[Mailbag 30]].

"I feel distraught when I have to put up with such, and I am certain all the other artists do the same, even worse by tossing them into the trashcan like an office person who makes it fun with balling up the paper and shooting the hoop."

No, not listening to your critics is something idiots do. Trust me, I know artists.

"At Least I give every one of my letters full reading time and thought."

A few mailbags ago you said you gave each letter about a minute or two of reading. Hypocrite.}}
{{EmailReply|For your information, MY art IS better; I AM related to Anne Bolyn, and I WAS on Honor Roll throughout Middle and High School, and I WAS on [[Mary Lee Walsh|the Dean]]'s List in [[College]]. You are obviously a troll trying to pick on my nerves. Begone.}}

==Gone forever==

===Girl Raichu===
{{Email|From: Stephany Miller <smokerchick1970@hotmail.com>
Chrissy!

You had us all fooled for such a long time. I knew Rosechu couldn't be female though. I like how you set up doubt by naming that obviously male Raichu that she was created from "Girl Raichu." So smart. I dunno though, giving Rosechu the pointed tail of a male Raichu was a little obvious though. You were so adamant though that you still fooled a lot of people though lol. I'm so glad to see this fascinating plot point finally be resolved with Rosechu revealing her [[pickle]] to [[Simonchu]] in his hour of need!

My question is, how does Rosechu's new openness about her pickle effect the overall plot? What about her relationship with Sonichu? Is he [[Magi-Chan|secretly gay]]? I bet he is.

Stephany}}
{{Mailbag}}

Chris and death

2014-01-08T05:30:53Z

Wildsonichu: /* Barbara Chandler (1941-) */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|Chris on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]]. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's pet dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates Ryan Cash's death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of Matthew Devoria's mother in the 9/11 attacks.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the one year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any Sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.

It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this.

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.

===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-2009)===
In early [[2009]], Christian seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.

In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.

===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===

In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.

===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.

===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927-2011)===
After a long battle with cancer, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dreams|dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref>

In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.

In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barb|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].

===[[Barbara Chandler]] (1941-)===
Barbara, much like [[Bob]] before his death, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara suffers from obesity, and this constitutes to her poor health- key issues of which include oversleeping and bed sores. In [[August 2013]], Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which reveals that she suffers from far more serious health problems than initially thought. It may not be long before Barbara keels over as well, which would ultimately leave Chris with no coddling matriarch to provide support for or keep him company, and in the grander scheme of things, without parents.

Even today, where everyone's favorite manchild will go from there remains a mystery, especially since it was revealed in an [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|October 2013 Facebook post]] that Chris considers Barbara to be one of the few people who gives meaning and purpose to his life.

===Chris himself (1982-)===
Given Chris's notoriously [[Obesity|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and Health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Fuck Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and Remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.

However, there is a likelihood that like [[Bob]], who had suffered from (and eventually passed away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and [[alcohol]]ism, he may be genetically dispositioned to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it would be the only thing that would put an end to his [[Love Quest]] once and for all.

{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}

In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving [[Dreams|recurring visions]] of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a [[sweetheart]]. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his [[Attraction Sign|obsessive standards]] and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.

In a recent [[Facebook]] post during Halloween 2013, Chris stated that he has become so [[stress|stressed]], that he has contemplated suicide multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he hasn't done it are [[Barbara|painfully]] [[Clover_and_Snoopy|obvious]]. This shows just how much Chris's [[psychology|mentality]] has drained, and how badly he needs the professional help he so stubbornly refuses to get. In all seriousness, suicide is no laughing matter, and this should be looked at with caution. Of course, this could be Chris exaggerating, trying to gain pity, as he has done in the past.

===Various ancestors===
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Dead]]

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-15T17:56:20Z

Wildsonichu: /* Summary */

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted in [[November 2013]].

==Summary==
* 4 November 2013 - Chris offers further rationalizations and recriminations concerning [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]]. It would seem as if Chris is finally [[Chris_and_Remorse|accepting responsibility for his actions]], but then he unintentionally back-pedals by forgiving [[Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for what they did to ''him''.
* 4 November 2013 - Chris follows up with the latest in a long line of apologies to Megan for his "wishful thinking." He misattributes a quotation from "I Hate Myself For Loving You" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
* 12 November 2013 - Chris delivers another blanket apology. Of course, his apology is just as empty as his last one.

==Posts by Chris==
===That Dang Drawing===
{{quotebox|November 4, 2013
Listen, EVERYONE, that [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|dang drawing]] I drew late 2007 that has been going around lately; I HAVE taken responsibility for it. I stated the details in an earlier post on here; I Tore Up the Original Drawing into pieces Years Ago; I do not possess any image files of the thing; I have long regretted having drawn the dang thing. A LOT of people draw/sculpt and have drawn/sculpted naked people and those having sex play. I have not drawn anything of the sort for YEARS, and I do not intend to draw such again. Please stop giving me grief and hatred about it, my old friends let us go back to being friends, and let us all move on with our lives.

I fully forgive [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for all of their misdeeds against me.}}

===Apologies to Megan===
{{quotebox|November 4, 2013
I sincerely and deeply apologize to Megan Schroeder, and everyone else who saw the drawing, for ever drawing and for ever wishfully thinking that way.
And to quote Pat Benatar, I hate myself for (EVER) loving you (Megan).}}

==="I'm Sorry, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!"===
{{quotebox|November 12, 2013
I am very sorry for EVERYTHING! Please, Either be my Friend FOR REAL In Person, or Please, Please, Please Shut the hell up EVERYWHERE ONLINE and OFFLINE and Leave Me Alone. - feeling sad, distressed and upset.}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-15T17:55:19Z

Wildsonichu: /* Posts by Chris */

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted in [[November 2013]].

==Summary==
* 4 November 2013 - Chris offers further rationalizations and recriminations concerning [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]]. It would seem as if Chris is finally [[Chris_and_Remorse|accepting responsibility for his actions]], but then he unintentionally back-pedals by forgiving [[Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for what they did to ''him''.
* 4 November 2013 - Chris follows up with the latest in a long line of apologies to Megan for his "wishful thinking." He misattributes a quotation from "I Hate Myself For Loving You" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.

==Posts by Chris==
===That Dang Drawing===
{{quotebox|November 4, 2013
Listen, EVERYONE, that [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|dang drawing]] I drew late 2007 that has been going around lately; I HAVE taken responsibility for it. I stated the details in an earlier post on here; I Tore Up the Original Drawing into pieces Years Ago; I do not possess any image files of the thing; I have long regretted having drawn the dang thing. A LOT of people draw/sculpt and have drawn/sculpted naked people and those having sex play. I have not drawn anything of the sort for YEARS, and I do not intend to draw such again. Please stop giving me grief and hatred about it, my old friends let us go back to being friends, and let us all move on with our lives.

I fully forgive [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for all of their misdeeds against me.}}

===Apologies to Megan===
{{quotebox|November 4, 2013
I sincerely and deeply apologize to Megan Schroeder, and everyone else who saw the drawing, for ever drawing and for ever wishfully thinking that way.
And to quote Pat Benatar, I hate myself for (EVER) loving you (Megan).}}

==="I'm Sorry, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!"===
{{quotebox|November 12, 2013
I am very sorry for EVERYTHING! Please, Either be my Friend FOR REAL In Person, or Please, Please, Please Shut the hell up EVERYWHERE ONLINE and OFFLINE and Leave Me Alone. - feeling sad, distressed and upset.}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

Bob Walks In

2013-11-13T05:35:40Z

Wildsonichu: /* Transcript */

{{Honest}}
{{quote|The couples of the world kiss,
But unfortunately for few, 
They are interrupted by their parents.
|Chris, exactly nine years previously. GodBear could not have planned it better.<ref>[[Valentines Day Hymn]]</ref>}}

'''''Bob Walks In''''' is the most famous of the cybersex chats with [[Julie]], in which [[Chris]] is caught [[masturbating]] by his late father, [[Bob]].

==Background==
[[Image:Aiko-Chris's New Bird.jpg|thumb|right|140px|What Chris imagines Julie looks like...]]
The Chandler family [[14 Branchland Court|home]] only has one [[computer]], and it's in the [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]]. Every time Chris wants to engage in cyber sex, he's [[Mass Debating|spanking it]] in the middle of the bloody kitchen.

[[February 2009|Valentine's Night, 2009]]: Chris was on a hot e-date with his ONE, TRUE AND HONEST SWEETHEART [[Julie]], and once again engaged in some hot furry sex, similar to the [[CWC Cums for a Cat|night before]]. Chris was moaning sexy, sweaty nothings into the microphone as he furiously pounded his bent [[duck]]. Unbeknown to Chris, trolls were tipped off that Chris was firing some [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|knuckle children]] and were dedicated to having Chris experience an awkward moment that would require Bob to watch his son stroking his bent duck, yelling like a horny retard. Four calls were made, the first three failing as Bob told them that Chris was "sleeping" (even though Chris was screaming "JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" at the time). The final call, made by [[Miscreants]] agent [[Bryan Bash]], called up and told Bob "OH MY GOD, CHRIS MADE A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE AND SAID HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF! YOU GOTTA STOP HIM!"

Bob dropped the phone, ran up the stairs and walked into his son's most intimate moment, and was, justifiably, horrified and appalled. In a rare moment of parental authority, he threatened to punish Chris by "cutting down the Internet." Chris, used to having things his way throughout his whole life, was appalled, confused and no longer aroused. The recording ends after Robert's many futile attempts to shut down the computer finally succeed.

This can be considered the pinnacle of the ongoing Chris-chan saga, as it represents a moment where Chris actually feels negative repercussions for his Internet behavior. It contains many memorable lines and is the height of emotional drama.

Julie's side of this erotic scene can be read [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|here]].

== Prelude ==
The following is Chris's phone sex session with Julie prior to Bob walking in. Throughout this whole audio, Chris bangs into stuff and whacks his keyboard while fapping and making slurping sounds (suggesting Chris fails at performing even imaginary cunnilingus). If you love your life, it is advised that you do not read this transcript.

=== Chris Gets Started ===
Hey, Julie! Zlkavszka! Ah yeah, good, you're on me. Alright, alright... you do that, mmmm. Oh... ''(Rustling, possibly taking off clothes)'' Ooooh...! Oh-ho-ho! Alright, yeah, I'm (indistinct) clothes.

Ok. Yep, I'm lying on the bed... do what you will... mmkay. Ahhhhh... I could take a good guess... very horny. Believe me, I've been very horny... before. Ohhh! Hhhh... Oh my... Oh my... Mmmm... actually, I'm breathing okay... mmm... Oh yeah. Cause is- cause it got stiff... for you. Mmmmm... Ahhh, ahhh yeah. Mmm... (spits on his hands)

Okay, I'm licking your pussy while you're sitting on my face. Oh boy... Hhhh... Mmmmm... Mmmm... Oh... Okay, but you know, just so you know, I learned that farts- farts on one's face causes [[Pink eye|pink-eye]]. Ali- alri- alright, I'll let it go this time. I don't touch my eyes all that much anyway, but this time yeah....

''(Begins fapping)'' Oh yeah. ''(slurp slurp slurp smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh yeah... mmmm.... Oh yeah. ''(smack smack smack)'' mmmm... mmm... ''(slurp slurp slurp)'' Oh... mmm... You're facing mine as well. Oh boy, yeahhhh... that's good. Mmm. Mmmm... ''(smack smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh... ''(fapping gets louder)'' Mmm!

=== Adventures in China ===
''(Sporadic Windows beeping throughout)''Mmm... Oh yeah... Mmm... ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmm... mmmmmmmm... Meeee-yeowww. mmm... ahhh, that's fine. ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmmm... ''(faps even harder, banging into stuff)'' I was kind of expecting this myself. ''(faps even more hard'') Yeah... So do I... mmmm... ''(fapping is very loud at this point)'' Ahhhh! MMm... ''(phone rings)'' Mmm... Mmmm... I love you too, Julie... you are, you are...

It's very good. Mmm... Ohhhh yeah, it's awesome... Awesome. Ah... ah yeah... ''(fapping speeds up)'' Mmm... Go ahead, be rougher, rougher... Mmmm... Ahhh... MMm... Oh yeah... mmm... Oh yeah, yeah... Oh YEAH, Julie, Julieeeeeeee, Julie!!! mmmh... ahhh... JULAYYYYYYYY! JULayyyyyyyy, JULAaaaay... JULAY!!!! Julay... JULaaAaaAaaaAaaaAaAAAAAYY!!! ''(phone rings)'' Jullayyyy... ''(phone rings again)'' Mmm... ah, don't worry about that, my father will get it... he got it.... Continue. Mm... Julie... JULAAAAAY... Julaaaaaaaaah.

Oh yeah... oh yeah... oh yeah... mmm... oh... mmm?? ''(phone rings)'' mmm... get on me... I want... to be INSIDE YOU!... Oh yeah... not yet... mmm. ''(smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Pump it in? mmmf... ah... oh yeah... no problem... ahhhh... mmmm YEAH!! mmmf... ''(faps very hard)'' ahh... mmmm... oh yeah... oooooh yeah... ah! yeah... yeaahhh!!! mmmf... (breathing heavily, bangs into something while fapping) mmm... ''(phone rings)'' mmm... no it's okay, my father will get it, don't worry about it... keep going... it's already been got... please, I'm getting close myself... C'mon Julie... mmf... ahhh... mmm... mmm... oh yeah...

''Bob walks in at this point. Chris stops fapping.''

==The Climax==
{{quote|Get away from the Internet, I'm cutting it down!!!|Bob "The Internet Lumberjack" Chandler}}
{{quote|NO DAD, NO!|Chris, during [[Hanky-Panky|Goofy Time]].}}

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|ricmZy9VZMM}}
</center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Bob''': Christian, what are you doing?
 '''Chris''': ''[immediately stops fapping, but knocks several things over]'' Nothing.
 '''Bob''': I’m getting all these crazy damn calls. What're you doing?
 '''Chris''': Nothing.
 '''Bob''': Don't give me that crap. Now, what’s going on?
 '''Chris''': Dad, will you get out of here?
 '''Bob''': No. [''string of Windows beeps''] I will not. [[Bryan Bash|People]] tell me that you’re about to kill yourself on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Bob''': What are you doing?
 '''Chris''': I'm not doin' anything.
 '''Bob''': Want me to wake your mother up and find out?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Well then get out of here, and off that Internet.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': What is your trouble?
 '''Chris''': I am not going to kill myself.
 '''Bob''': Get away from that TV.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': Get away from the Internet. I'm cuttin' it down, right now.
 '''Chris''': NO, DAD, NO!
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': What are you doin'?
 
 [''long pause, what sounds like the kitchen sink running, keys clicking on the keyboard, then single Windows beep'']
 
 '''Chris''': Don't do it, Dad.
 '''Bob''': I’m gonna shut this thing right down.
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No! [''pause''] Dad, no. Stop!
 '''Bob''': Go wake your mother up; don’t bother me. Okay? [''pause''] Go wake your [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] up! Don’t bother me!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': Go and wake your mother up!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': You tell mm-her what’s going on. This thing is gonna go down.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': Yes!

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBcjVEeWlabjZnX00 Download (audio only)]
*[http://db.tt/0GIuc49D Audio mirror]
*[http://www.slutload.com/watch/gEnIQ5EQM9C/Chris-chan-caught-fapping-by-his-dad.html Mirror]
{{References}}
{{FanChats}}

Bob Walks In

2013-11-13T05:34:58Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris Gets Started */

{{Honest}}
{{quote|The couples of the world kiss,
But unfortunately for few, 
They are interrupted by their parents.
|Chris, exactly nine years previously. GodBear could not have planned it better.<ref>[[Valentines Day Hymn]]</ref>}}

'''''Bob Walks In''''' is the most famous of the cybersex chats with [[Julie]], in which [[Chris]] is caught [[masturbating]] by his late father, [[Bob]].

==Background==
[[Image:Aiko-Chris's New Bird.jpg|thumb|right|140px|What Chris imagines Julie looks like...]]
The Chandler family [[14 Branchland Court|home]] only has one [[computer]], and it's in the [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]]. Every time Chris wants to engage in cyber sex, he's [[Mass Debating|spanking it]] in the middle of the bloody kitchen.

[[February 2009|Valentine's Night, 2009]]: Chris was on a hot e-date with his ONE, TRUE AND HONEST SWEETHEART [[Julie]], and once again engaged in some hot furry sex, similar to the [[CWC Cums for a Cat|night before]]. Chris was moaning sexy, sweaty nothings into the microphone as he furiously pounded his bent [[duck]]. Unbeknown to Chris, trolls were tipped off that Chris was firing some [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|knuckle children]] and were dedicated to having Chris experience an awkward moment that would require Bob to watch his son stroking his bent duck, yelling like a horny retard. Four calls were made, the first three failing as Bob told them that Chris was "sleeping" (even though Chris was screaming "JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" at the time). The final call, made by [[Miscreants]] agent [[Bryan Bash]], called up and told Bob "OH MY GOD, CHRIS MADE A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE AND SAID HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF! YOU GOTTA STOP HIM!"

Bob dropped the phone, ran up the stairs and walked into his son's most intimate moment, and was, justifiably, horrified and appalled. In a rare moment of parental authority, he threatened to punish Chris by "cutting down the Internet." Chris, used to having things his way throughout his whole life, was appalled, confused and no longer aroused. The recording ends after Robert's many futile attempts to shut down the computer finally succeed.

This can be considered the pinnacle of the ongoing Chris-chan saga, as it represents a moment where Chris actually feels negative repercussions for his Internet behavior. It contains many memorable lines and is the height of emotional drama.

Julie's side of this erotic scene can be read [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|here]].

== Prelude ==
The following is Chris's phone sex session with Julie prior to Bob walking in. Throughout this whole audio, Chris bangs into stuff and whacks his keyboard while fapping and making slurping sounds (suggesting Chris fails at performing even imaginary cunnilingus). If you love your life, it is advised that you do not read this transcript.

=== Chris Gets Started ===
Hey, Julie! Zlkavszka! Ah yeah, good, you're on me. Alright, alright... you do that, mmmm. Oh... ''(Rustling, possibly taking off clothes)'' Ooooh...! Oh-ho-ho! Alright, yeah, I'm (indistinct) clothes.

Ok. Yep, I'm lying on the bed... do what you will... mmkay. Ahhhhh... I could take a good guess... very horny. Believe me, I've been very horny... before. Ohhh! Hhhh... Oh my... Oh my... Mmmm... actually, I'm breathing okay... mmm... Oh yeah. Cause is- cause it got stiff... for you. Mmmmm... Ahhh, ahhh yeah. Mmm... (spits on his hands)

Okay, I'm licking your pussy while you're sitting on my face. Oh boy... Hhhh... Mmmmm... Mmmm... Oh... Okay, but you know, just so you know, I learned that farts- farts on one's face causes [[Pink eye|pink-eye]]. Ali- alri- alright, I'll let it go this time. I don't touch my eyes all that much anyway, but this time yeah....

''(Begins fapping)'' Oh yeah. ''(slurp slurp slurp smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh yeah... mmmm.... Oh yeah. ''(smack smack smack)'' mmmm... mmm... ''(slurp slurp slurp)'' Oh... mmm... You're facing mine as well. Oh boy, yeahhhh... that's good. Mmm. Mmmm... ''(smack smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh... ''(fapping gets louder)'' Mmm!

=== Adventures in China ===
''(Sporadic Windows beeping throughout)''Mmm... Oh yeah... Mmm... ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmm... mmmmmmmm... Meeee-yeowww. mmm... ahhh, that's fine. ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmmm... ''(faps even harder, banging into stuff)'' I was kind of expecting this myself. ''(faps even more hard'') Yeah... So do I... mmmm... ''(fapping is very loud at this point)'' Ahhhh! MMm... ''(phone rings)'' Mmm... Mmmm... I love you too, Julie... you are, you are...

It's very good. Mmm... Ohhhh yeah, it's awesome... Awesome. Ah... ah yeah... ''(fapping speeds up)'' Mmm... Go ahead, be rougher, rougher... Mmmm... Ahhh... MMm... Oh yeah... mmm... Oh yeah, yeah... Oh YEAH, Julie, Julieeeeeeee, Julie!!! mmmh... ahhh... JULAYYYYYYYY! JULayyyyyyyy, JULAaaaay... JULAY!!!! Julay... JULaaAaaAaaaAaaaAaAAAAAYY!!! ''(phone rings)'' Jullayyyy... ''(phone rings again)'' Mmm... ah, don't worry about that, my father will get it... he got it.... Continue. Mm... Julie... JULAAAAAY... Julaaaaaaaaah.

Oh yeah... oh yeah... oh yeah... mmm... oh... mmm?? ''(phone rings)'' mmm... get on me... I want... to be INSIDE YOU!... Oh yeah... not yet... mmm. ''(smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Pump it in? mmmf... ah... oh yeah... no problem... ahhhh... mmmm YEAH!! mmmf... ''(faps very hard)'' ahh... mmmm... oh yeah... oooooh yeah... ah! yeah... yeaahhh!!! mmmf... (breathing heavily, bangs into something while fapping) mmm... ''(phone rings)'' mmm... no it's okay, my father will get it, don't worry about it... keep going... it's already been got... please, I'm getting close myself... C'mon Julie... mmf... ahhh... mmm... mmm... oh yeah...

''Bob walks in at this point. Chris stops fapping.''

==The Climax==
{{quote|Get away from the Internet, I'm cutting it down!!!|Bob "The Internet Lumberjack" Chandler}}
{{quote|NO DAD, NO!|Chris, during [[Hanky-Panky|Goofy Time]].}}

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|ricmZy9VZMM}}
</center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Bob''': Christian, what are you doing? [''slurp smack'']
 '''Chris''': ''[immediately stops fapping, but knocks several things over]'' Nothing.
 '''Bob''': I’m getting all these crazy damn calls. What're you doing?
 '''Chris''': Nothing.
 '''Bob''': Don't give me that crap. Now, what’s going on?
 '''Chris''': Dad, will you get out of here?
 '''Bob''': No. [''string of Windows beeps''] I will not. [[Bryan Bash|People]] tell me that you’re about to kill yourself on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Bob''': What are you doing?
 '''Chris''': I'm not doin' anything.
 '''Bob''': Want me to wake your mother up and find out?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Well then get out of here, and off that Internet.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': What is your trouble?
 '''Chris''': I am not going to kill myself.
 '''Bob''': Get away from that TV.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': Get away from the Internet. I'm cuttin' it down, right now.
 '''Chris''': NO, DAD, NO!
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': What are you doin'?
 
 [''long pause, what sounds like the kitchen sink running, keys clicking on the keyboard, then single Windows beep'']
 
 '''Chris''': Don't do it, Dad.
 '''Bob''': I’m gonna shut this thing right down.
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No! [''pause''] Dad, no. Stop!
 '''Bob''': Go wake your mother up; don’t bother me. Okay? [''pause''] Go wake your [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] up! Don’t bother me!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': Go and wake your mother up!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': You tell mm-her what’s going on. This thing is gonna go down.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': Yes!

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBcjVEeWlabjZnX00 Download (audio only)]
*[http://db.tt/0GIuc49D Audio mirror]
*[http://www.slutload.com/watch/gEnIQ5EQM9C/Chris-chan-caught-fapping-by-his-dad.html Mirror]
{{References}}
{{FanChats}}

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-05T03:06:00Z

Wildsonichu: /* Summary */

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-05T03:03:04Z

Wildsonichu: /* Summary */

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-05T03:02:35Z

Wildsonichu: /* Summary */

My Little Pony

2013-11-02T21:31:57Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris and ponies */

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
[[File:Mane6 Chaotic Combo.png|thumb|200px|A quick comparison between the [[wikipedia:Mane 6|Mane 6]] and the [[Chaotic Combo]].]]
{{taxpayermoney}}
'''My Little Pony''' ([[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|MLP]]) is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. Chris picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made My Little Pony dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]
The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow]] [[Tomgirl|Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a G3 My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokémon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on 31 [[March 2012]], he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the ''nom de plume'' used in the episode was "Gabby Gums."

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the ''MLP:FiM'' character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her googly eyes and [[Slow-in-the-mind|slow method of thinking]]. However, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that had a sort of disability.

On the 26 [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the infamous ''[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes]'' fanfiction and the "SHED" instalment of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offence at Rainbow Dash - a tomboyish character - being gorily killed, which is featured in both videos, and wondered if people did it because they hate Tomboys/Tomgirls.
He went on to rant about the "Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block, before descending into a tirade of hatred against people in general. In a twist of irony, it was recently discovered that Chris has not one, <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2FD70214E0CF6E92 Jappleack Playlist on Chris' YT account]</ref> but two <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2f2iqihk1im2B1M7ZXJyoCd-gkDLXYCQ Jackie and Jerry playlist on Chris' YT account] </ref> playlists from HotdiggedyDemon ''(inclusive of said videos)'', [[Chris and hypocrisy|the creator of the "Dark Parodies" that he hated so much.]]

In 2013, Chris' actions would cause him to become a social pariah to the Brony community ''(as if he wasn't one already)'' by calling out voice actress [[Wikipedia:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] on her "Twilightlicious" video, claiming that she was tainting the name of the characters she had voiced by apparently supporting trolling and bullying. Many trolls had responded that his actions were, to say the very least, ''ridiculous'', due to him [[Autism|misunderstanding the context of her video]] and expecting a well-known celebrity [[Chris and his Ego|to personally answer to him.]] This certainly would have ended in Chris not hearing squat from Tara, had a troll not decided to forward his rant to her Facebook account. This is what she had to say:

{{quotebox|"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Chris and his Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."}}

Despite not meeting Chris before in her life, Tara immediately chastises Chris as someone who would pull this stunt for attention, and makes note of her work in anti-bullying campaigns ''(which is something Chris would obviously not put any effort into researching)''. Chris has yet to respond, but it's pretty obvious that he'll not only disregard what she said, but also accuse her of being a '''"DANG, DIRTY TROLL!"''' like he does with everyone who disapproves of his bullshit.

When the ''[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony: Equestria Girls|Equestria Girls]]'' trailer was released, Chris threw a ''fit'' on Facebook, citing that it would attract ''"[[pedofork|pedofile]] (sic) perverts"'' into the fanbase<ref>[[:File:Chris-Chan - FB - Equestria Girls.png]]</ref> ''([[Chris and hypocrisy|this coming from the guy who drew porn in Sonichu 8.]])'' Hilariously, he then goes on to say that the Friendship is Magic crew is "Out Of Their Minds", ''right'' after saying "With All Due Respect," ''(even going so far as to name-drop Lauren Faust, who had left the show for over a year.)'' He then comments on his own note, [[Chris and his Ego|loudly demanding IN ALL CAPS that somebody pull the plug on it.]] Needless to say, Hasbro did not respond to Chris' suggestions.

[[Chris and Hypocrisy|He later "liked" some videos related to the movie online and named it his #2 favorite movie]].

==Cutie mark==

In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and art|felt-tip pens]].

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol representing an individual pony's special talent and interest. Chris's special talent, it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Considering [[Chris and art|most]] [[Chris and music|other]] [[Spanish|things]] [[Chris and writing|Chris]] [[Chris and cosplaying|has]] [[Sonichu (comic)|tried]] and almost always failed at, it's still not all that surprising.

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|''Sonichu'' Special #2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].
{{-}}
==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Dreams|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', though part of the name may come from [[Wikipedia:Squall Leonhart|Squall Leonhart]] of [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|''Final Fantasy VIII'']].
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos."
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]
==References==
<references />
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*<s> [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download] </s> - Dead link.
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]

October 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-02T21:28:42Z

Wildsonichu: /* Reality Comes Knocking */

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted on October 2013.

==Summary==
* 3 [[October 2013]] - Chris posts an angry rant directed at [[Megan]].
* 4 October 2013 - Chris tells Megan to apologize to him personally, work and getting him unbanned from various commercial venues in his area and stop all internet trolling against him, or else he wouldn't remove the curse he has placed on her. Shortly afterwards on the same day he wrote another post, purportedly revealing the conversation between Megan, other Game Place patrons and store employees which led to the organized trolling campaign directed at Chris.
* 28 October 2013 - Chris made a post on Facebook to leave him alone again.
* 30 October 2013 - Chris undergoes perhaps his biggest Facebook meltdown yet, after he posts an e-mail from one of his high school [[gal pal]]s that someone forwarded to him. The e-mail reveals that none of his gal pals especially liked him as a person and only hung around with him out of pity, and that between his bizarre Facebook rants and [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], almost none of his high school "friends" have any desire to ever contact him again. In a subsequent post on the same day, Chris says that he was so crushed by this revelation that he considered suicide.

==Posts by Chris==
===Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 3 October 2013
<nowiki>**Megan Schroeder!**</nowiki>

You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, [[Trolls]], [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]] People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with [[Megagi La Skunk]]; [[Chris and reality|she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist]]. Also, your [[Sailor Megtune]] powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! [[Sailor Moon|Usagi and the Sailor Scouts]] would have been most ashamed of you.

You need to pay me what you owe for [[Chris and hypocrisy|Destroying Me, My Heart, My Soul, and My Life]] with your ungratefulness to [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|my past loyalty and devotion]]. You played me for a fool for Years, making me spend and spend on you with borrowed [[Chris and money|money]]! You continuously had Mimms an everyone else online humiliate me! I can not ever find employment now, because my background check has been made null and void with Your Damn Internet Troll Army! You would not even accept the Copies of the Uncut SM series I had burned for you! You conned me into giving you my Original DVDs. It is as if I was swindled into bargain basement, counterfeit imported crap. I poured my heart for you, and you break the glass pitcher the essence was stored in.

You need to pay me what you greatly owe me for Destroying Me! [[Chris and English|And I not or you and your army, stressing us out, my father would still be alive today]]! Face Me In Person and settle our Long Heated Rivalry and Domestic Hatred, NOW!!!}}

Chris also immediately posted two comments to his post:

{{quotebox|And by the way, [[Chris and religion|I pray]] you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch]] and the [[Michael Snyder|Bastard]]! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!}}

{{quotebox|NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!}}

===Apologize or else===

The next day he blamed Megan for this site.

{{quotebox|October 4, 2013
I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the [[Cwcki]], its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.}}

===GAMe PLACe revelations===

On the same day in which he posted the previous post, Chris made another one, correcting Megan's slanderous lies and revealing the true and honest truth about what happened at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|October 4, 2013
Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs on to me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; His Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!"

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.}}

Immediately afterwards Chris posted the following comment to his post:

{{quotebox|NOBODY COMMENT OR EMAIL ME! I want HER to contact me In Person and Face to Face!}}

===Announcement===

{{quotebox|October 11, 2013

<nowiki>**Announcement**</nowiki>

Someone is pretending to be me in Spoofing and has been spamming the message screen capped below to a lot of people; likely those in my contact list on my AOL account.

Mainly, I have not ever been to the Phillipines; I am still in Ruckersville, VA; financial issues for real right here and now are irrelevant, and I am not in any trouble with any police or "embassy". Whoever is pretending to be me in this spoof attempt needs to stop or be stopped.

And in any case, please disregard the message if you have received it. — feeling pissed off.}}

===Mighty Wings Review===
{{Incomplete}}

{{quotebox|October 15, 2013
I just had a 5 piece Mighty Wing at [[McDonalds]], with honey mustard; I had a sauce-free bite first. At the Forest Lakes location at least, there is a reason for offering a large drink free with 5 piece purchase. BOLDY SPICY!! They would do just as well offering a milk jug or two with purchase. They should make t-shirts: "I Survived the McD Mighty Wings!"}}

{{quotebox|Also, I just had my weight checked; lost seven pounds}}

===Another Announcement===
After the September 2013 Facebook leak on the [[CWCki Forums]], Chris posted the following:
{{quotebox|Monday, 28 October 2013

Announcement: Attention Everyone: Whoever has been capping and discussing my private posts, Please Stop It. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|I have no intention]] [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Apologize_or_else|towards anything online]], and my private thoughts I share Only with my [[Anna McLerran|Real Friends]] in my List Only should remain Private as such. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#GAMe_PLACe_revelations|And I have not been]] [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Announcement|whining about anyone]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|so please stop bothering people and telling them that I had]]. I will never be a member of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|anything]] about and/or against me online Ever, so any "kind offers" will be automatically rejected and ignored.

In other words, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Leave Me Alone and Quit Talking About Me At All]], you pinheaded [[Trolls]]!!!}}

===Reality Comes Knocking===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 30 October 2013

I had long thought I was liked genuinely as a person in [[Manchester High School]] by my closest [[gal pal]]s and everyone else. Now I am shocked to hear that everyone was my friend, because they felt sorry for me.

Let me share a couple of recent [[emails]] from one of my friends. I am not doing this to be mean, cruel or bad, but it really hurts me emotionally.}}

{{quoteboxred|A lot of us were surprised, even shocked to see how much Christian had changed from the way we remembered him in high school. He was just this awkward, slightly-odd, shy kid back then. A lot of the [[Slow-in-the-minds|Special Ed kids]] got picked on but, for some reason, Christian seemed to get it much worse than the others. _____ and _____ I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a [[Naive|lost little boy]]. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't really hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to [[My big 18th party|his 18th birthday party]].

_____ and _____ weren't so much friends of Christian's, as they were his protectors. Some kids used to mess with him and steal his stuff. These kids were constantly teasing Christian and picking on him, doing whatever they could to get some kind of reaction out of him. Mostly Christian just cried or ran away. I don't think I can remember a time where he tried to stand up to the bullies. He seemed to prefer to have other people do that for him.

No, I don't really follow Christian's activity on [[Facebook]]. I'm actually not on his friends list, for reasons I'd rather not discuss with someone I don't really know that well (no offense). I know a lot of the people that are on his friends list, and they mostly ignore him. He's basically background noise. The only time they really notice his posts is when he tags them. Some of the stuff he posts is kind of bizarre and disturbing, which is the main reason why I decided I didn't want to have any contact with him.

I'm also really creeped out that he's still obsessed with _____ and he's actively looking for her. She is well aware of this and she's taken steps to make sure that she's VERY hard, if not impossible, to find. Yes, I've been in touch with her, but I don't feel that I have her permission to pass along her contact information. I'll pass along your email address though, if that's OK. That way, she can contact you if she wants to.

A lot of people became friends with Christian because of the reunion and also, because a lot of them still felt sorry for him. Some people are having second thoughts though, after seeing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|that awful picture]] he drew of [[Megan|his friend]]. A lot of people stopped feeling sorry for him and started ignoring him after they saw that. I was shocked that he could draw something so gross and depraved. The "thumbs up" sign really pissed me off for some reason. The whole thing was very sexist, disrespectful, and, above all - damn creepy.

I have my suspicions about who may have leaked Christian's Facebook posts, but I'd rather not say, because I don't want to be involved in this. Christian accused this person of "leaking" the full list of classmates from our graduating class. Christian contacted some of his MHS friends and tried to make trouble. He told them to give this guy a hard time for what he did. His friends weren't amused. Anyway, I don't think Christian has anything to worry about. He's not friends with this guy anymore. }}

{{Quotebox|Once again, Not to be mean, cruel or bad:

I did not mean to sound cruel; I had thought you all were my friends for the sake of friendship, not for pity.

Really? REALLY?! You all thought of me as weak from first and outside impressions? For your information, I was not picked on as much as I am interpreting your exaggeration. If I was picked on as much as stated, I would have had wedgies, I would have been pestered in the Locker Room, I would have been shoved into a locker, etc., and NONE of those things have ever happened to me at all. I never expected any "protection" from anyone, and I looked up to you all as my Friends, Never like mothers. Oh, my god. I had no preference to anyone doing anything for me; I did a Lot of things for myself, including my homework. I was consistently on [[Honor Roll]]. Forgive me if my posts were not being considered "Normal" to you, but my life is what it is, and I am usually honest about details. NOBODY is happy or mentally sound 24/7/365. EVERYONE in this world has their own Mental Problems, No Matter What or Who. And frankly, I feel pissed off that you would judge me still for that ONE drawing that I had already elaborated on to make sure it had not been taken out of context. And [[Mimms]] is not to be trusted. If he really wanted to help me, he would have never EVER taken my photograph in [[2007]] and make mockery of me!

For everyone's information, I wanted to locate [[Tiffany Gowen]], because I wanted and needed my closest friend to talk to and find closure; I am Lonely and Sad! I went well out of my way to gather towards bringing everyone together for the reunion; I put a lot of the pure goodness I had felt in my my heart and soul into that work. Now I find out everyone was nice to me not for the sake of friendship or that they liked me, but because of sorry feelings!

I was mainstreamed throughout my education; [[Chris and reality|it had worked out well for me.]] I could be a lot worse off. I am not certain pity friendships are for the better for anyone, but real [[My_Little_Pony|friendships really are magic]] and healing, or at least they're supposed to be.

Well, now I know where I stand — feeling very sad.}}
Chris later added:
{{quotebox|This makes me so sad, I actually considered suicide. The only reasons I don't do it are [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and [[Clover and Snoopy|my dogs]], and that [[Chris and religion|premature death leaves one in Limbo]]. I am really hurt, and I feel emotionally paralyzed and numb. It all hurts.}}

===PLEASE UNDO IT!===
{{incomplete}}
{{quotebox|
Look, Whoever reported me just now, PLEASE UNDO IT! I was typing a message to [[Gal pal#Molly Quarles|Molly Marie Quarles]] asking her if the recent email applied to her as well.}}

===Chris Will Only Accept Your Apologies In Person===
{{Incomplete}}
{{quotebox|If anyone wants to sincerely apologize to me or actually offer anything even remotely positive to me, come to my house at [[14 Branchland Court]] in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]; I don't take emails, phone calls or whatnot; those can be faked.}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

Stress

2013-11-02T21:21:07Z

Wildsonichu: /* Things that Chris does when stressed */

[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating stress with [[Sonichu Special 4|being shot]].<ref name="IRC"/>}}

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

When pressed on his "high-functioning" [[autism]], Chris eventually learned that outside of [[high school]], he can't blame his shortcomings on autism. He discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris has never experienced actual stress in his life apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[troll]]ed. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress".

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[glasses]] and talked in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling "stressed" that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives.

In August 2013, Chris indicated through Facebook that his stress is beginning to take a toll on his health. Given his rather [[Health|unhealthy]] [[Obesity|lifestyle]], it's not unlikely.

==Stress fact==
===Things that give Chris stress===
* Bullies.<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* People at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* [[Pickle]]s
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Niggos]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting a job]]
* Anything requiring him to leave the house
* [[Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* The existence of [[ED|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* [[Autistic|His "mental block" of autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Being told things he doesn't like to hear
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright Issues]]
* [[Homos|Homosexuality]]
* His daily struggle against becoming [[homos|homosexual]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[Blanca|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a brushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
* People [[Chris and death|dying]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* Finding out that [[Emily|his date]] was a mole working for the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* Being confronted by [[Kacey| his sweetheart's]] [[Father Call|Father]]
* [[Chris and his ego|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Being [[friend zone|friend zoned]]
* Having his identity [[CChanSonichuCWC|questioned]]
* [[Megan|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* Being [[Father Call|cal]][[28 October 2011|led]] a child
* Back when [[Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly ok)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> <ref name="IRC20081231"/>
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that [[autism]] isn't an excuse for
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for

===Things that relieve Chris's stress===
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>

===Things that Chris does when stressed===
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes Into Slumber <ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Chan_Update_21_October_2008</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly racist<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Muscle bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]
* Considers suicide

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Chris and death

2013-11-02T21:19:51Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris himself (1982-) */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|Chris on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]]. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's pet dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates Ryan Cash's death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of Matthew Devoria's mother in the 9/11 attacks.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the one year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any Sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.

It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this.

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.

===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-2009)===
In early [[2009]], Christian seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.

In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.

===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===

In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.

===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.

===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927-2011)===
After a long battle with cancer, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dreams|dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref>

In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.

In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barb|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].

===[[Barbara Chandler]] (1941-)===
Barbara, much like Bob, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara suffers from obesity, and this constitutes to her poor health, which includes oversleeping and bed sores. In August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which also reveals more serious health problems for Barbara. It may not be long before Barbara keels over, leaving Chris without his coddling mother to keep him company.

===Chris himself (1982-)===
Given Chris's notoriously [[Obesity|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and Health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Fuck Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and Remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.

However, there is a likelihood that like [[Bob]], who had suffered from (and eventually passed away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and [[alcohol]]ism, he may be genetically dispositioned to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it would be the only thing that would put an end to his [[Love Quest]] once and for all.

{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}

In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving [[Dreams|recurring visions]] of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a [[sweetheart]]. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his [[Attraction Sign|obsessive standards]] and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.

In a recent [[Facebook]] post during Halloween 2013, Chris stated that he has become so [[stress|stressed]], that he has contemplated suicide multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he hasn't done it are [[Barbara|painfully]] [[Clover_and_Snoopy|obvious]].

===Various ancestors===
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Dead]]

Chris and death

2013-11-02T21:19:22Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris himself (1982-) */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|Chris on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]]. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's pet dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates Ryan Cash's death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of Matthew Devoria's mother in the 9/11 attacks.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the one year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any Sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.

It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this.

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.

===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-2009)===
In early [[2009]], Christian seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.

In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.

===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===

In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.

===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.

===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927-2011)===
After a long battle with cancer, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dreams|dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref>

In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.

In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barb|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].

===[[Barbara Chandler]] (1941-)===
Barbara, much like Bob, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara suffers from obesity, and this constitutes to her poor health, which includes oversleeping and bed sores. In August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which also reveals more serious health problems for Barbara. It may not be long before Barbara keels over, leaving Chris without his coddling mother to keep him company.

===Chris himself (1982-)===
Given Chris's notoriously [[Obesity|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and Health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Fuck Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and Remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.

However, there is a likelihood that like [[Bob]], who had suffered from (and eventually passed away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and [[alcohol]]ism, he may be genetically dispositioned to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it would be the only thing that would put an end to his [[Love Quest]] once and for all.

{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}

In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving [[Dreams|recurring visions]] of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a [[sweetheart]]. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his [[Attraction Sign|obsessive standards]] and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.

In a recent [[Facebook]] post during Halloween 2013, Chris stated that he has become so [[stress|stressed]], that he has contemplated suicide multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he hasn't done it are [[Barbara|painfully]] [Clover_and_Snoopy|obvious]].

===Various ancestors===
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Dead]]

The GAMe PLACe

2013-10-06T05:47:23Z

Wildsonichu: /* Nope, He Still Wants it to Burn to the Ground */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]
{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}
'''The GAMe PLACe''' (currently named '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''') is a comic book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years,<ref>In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.</ref> up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosts the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|''Pokémon TCG'' League]], where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris must keep away from Michael Snyder at all times, which by extension means he is permanently banned from the store by law.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]] was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]

In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his [[Chris and fashion|usual colorful clown shirts]] and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's [[Homos|homophobia]] occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[homos|gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}
Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing female characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert.]]

In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[Niggo|black]] kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[Jerkops]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

In February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|third part of his Autism Tutorial]], in which he shared that he still feels bitter over his banning. In his words: "And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... burns to the ground! Along with Michael Snyder!"

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike.]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris.]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually harmed.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Mike was unmoved.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]] without the use of commercial services.

==The Charlottesville Incident==
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]
On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Crime story==
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as recent photographs uploaded [[CWCki|on-site]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.

Since the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a "cyber-bullies hang-out" and encouraging people to "stay far away". He also stated that the PLACe will go down by "[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs" suggesting he has learnt absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.

===Google Maps reviews===

Recently, trolls had discovered a scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by a "[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]". What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.

{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus "hit and run" charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else."'''|"Robert", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that 'Robert' was actually Chris. The mere fact that his "friend" has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also, that the words, "WIDOWED MOTHER" is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and Writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and Anger|angry]].

A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as "Ben McMullan." The review read:

{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons."'''|"Ben McMullan", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia, North Carolina, and Maryland (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.

Another review from "Alexander Deck" also appeared, and looks very similiar to "[[Chris|Robert's]]" review:
{{quote|"This HORRIBLE place kicked my friend Chris out, and for that I can NEVER FORGIVE THEM."'''|"Alexander Deck", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=117832957550460545229&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Another review from "Henry Bradston" is possibly by Chris:
{{Quote|This store has a wonderful and expansive selection of [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] [[cards]], which is what attracted me to the store in the first place. Then my cousin mentioned he was banned from the store a few years ago, and that made me realize how nasty the employees are. Upon a visit I took to the "Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys" last month, I had the pleasure of meeting who I think was the supervisor, or possibly the owner(...?) His name was [[Mike]] and he seemed like a very nice man. After only browsing booster packs for five minutes, I saw him start screaming at another patron. I don't recall what the argument was about, but it only lasted a couple minutes. The little kid (who couldn't have been older than ten) ran out of the store, crying. This incident alone coupled with the fact my cousin (who already has [[Autism|troubles]] of his own) was banned for what he says was "no good reason" has changed my perception of the store entirely. I would advise anyone who is interested in comics, TCGs, or [[toy]] collecting to NOT visit this store. And if I could say something to that fat sixty-something year old, I'd tell him to change his business tactics of scaring kids away cause it will only hurt business. ALSO, it turns out the OWNER is a registered sex offender.|"Henry Bradston"<ref>[https://plus.google.com/100281781145752145855/reviews]</ref>}}

==Chris's parents and The GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted shit tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he won't play in the future, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

==Acceptance?==

On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It remains to be seen whether he will follow through. However, it could be a ''geinus'' plan to lull [[Michael Snyder]] into a false sense of security.

The [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur leak]] revealed [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png a post] that would elaborate more on this development. Amusingly, Chris believed that everyone at the PLace masterminded the trolling that continues to haunt him to this day, particularly [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]], who he deemed as the "Prime Trolls". He also called for the PLace itself to be destroyed, if only for the reason of ousting a manchild that acted like a jackass in the store.

Either way, it seems that given [[28 October 2011|the consequences of his actions]] and his [[Autism|utter refusal to let go of childish things]], it seems very unlikely that Chris will forgive or forget the Game PLace. It does, however, raise a valid question concerning Chris: What will he do once his probation ends?

==Nope, He Still Wants it to Burn to the Ground==

Proving once and for all that Chris absolutely refuses to let go of his ban from the GAMe PLACe, on October 4th 2013, Chris posted a very angry [[Facebook]] post where he shifts all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "[[homosexual]] [[jerk]]", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan [[Chris and hypocrisy|until ''she'' apologizes for what she's done]].

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.cvilleshobbiesgamesandtoys.com/ Current website]
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Old website]

{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

The GAMe PLACe

2013-10-06T05:44:29Z

Wildsonichu:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]
{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}
'''The GAMe PLACe''' (currently named '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''') is a comic book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years,<ref>In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.</ref> up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosts the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|''Pokémon TCG'' League]], where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris must keep away from Michael Snyder at all times, which by extension means he is permanently banned from the store by law.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]] was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]

In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his [[Chris and fashion|usual colorful clown shirts]] and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's [[Homos|homophobia]] occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[homos|gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}
Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing female characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert.]]

In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[Niggo|black]] kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[Jerkops]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

In February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|third part of his Autism Tutorial]], in which he shared that he still feels bitter over his banning. In his words: "And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... burns to the ground! Along with Michael Snyder!"

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike.]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris.]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually harmed.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Mike was unmoved.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]] without the use of commercial services.

==The Charlottesville Incident==
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]
On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Crime story==
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as recent photographs uploaded [[CWCki|on-site]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.

Since the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a "cyber-bullies hang-out" and encouraging people to "stay far away". He also stated that the PLACe will go down by "[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs" suggesting he has learnt absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.

===Google Maps reviews===

Recently, trolls had discovered a scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by a "[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]". What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.

{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus "hit and run" charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else."'''|"Robert", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that 'Robert' was actually Chris. The mere fact that his "friend" has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also, that the words, "WIDOWED MOTHER" is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and Writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and Anger|angry]].

A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as "Ben McMullan." The review read:

{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons."'''|"Ben McMullan", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia, North Carolina, and Maryland (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.

Another review from "Alexander Deck" also appeared, and looks very similiar to "[[Chris|Robert's]]" review:
{{quote|"This HORRIBLE place kicked my friend Chris out, and for that I can NEVER FORGIVE THEM."'''|"Alexander Deck", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=117832957550460545229&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Another review from "Henry Bradston" is possibly by Chris:
{{Quote|This store has a wonderful and expansive selection of [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] [[cards]], which is what attracted me to the store in the first place. Then my cousin mentioned he was banned from the store a few years ago, and that made me realize how nasty the employees are. Upon a visit I took to the "Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys" last month, I had the pleasure of meeting who I think was the supervisor, or possibly the owner(...?) His name was [[Mike]] and he seemed like a very nice man. After only browsing booster packs for five minutes, I saw him start screaming at another patron. I don't recall what the argument was about, but it only lasted a couple minutes. The little kid (who couldn't have been older than ten) ran out of the store, crying. This incident alone coupled with the fact my cousin (who already has [[Autism|troubles]] of his own) was banned for what he says was "no good reason" has changed my perception of the store entirely. I would advise anyone who is interested in comics, TCGs, or [[toy]] collecting to NOT visit this store. And if I could say something to that fat sixty-something year old, I'd tell him to change his business tactics of scaring kids away cause it will only hurt business. ALSO, it turns out the OWNER is a registered sex offender.|"Henry Bradston"<ref>[https://plus.google.com/100281781145752145855/reviews]</ref>}}

==Chris's parents and The GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted shit tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he won't play in the future, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

==Acceptance?==

On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It remains to be seen whether he will follow through. However, it could be a ''geinus'' plan to lull [[Michael Snyder]] into a false sense of security.

The [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur leak]] revealed [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png a post] that would elaborate more on this development. Amusingly, Chris believed that everyone at the PLace masterminded the trolling that continues to haunt him to this day, particularly [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]], who he deemed as the "Prime Trolls". He also called for the PLace itself to be destroyed, if only for the reason of ousting a manchild that acted like a jackass in the store.

Either way, it seems that given [[28 October 2011|the consequences of his actions]] and his [[Autism|utter refusal to let go of childish things]], it seems very unlikely that Chris will forgive or forget the Game PLace. It does, however, raise a valid question concerning Chris: What will he do once his probation ends?

==Nope, He Still Wants it to Burn to the Ground==

Proving once and for all that Chris absolutely refuses to let go of his ban from the GAMe PLACe, on October 4th 2013, Chris posted a very angry Facebook post where he shifts all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "[[homosexual]] [[jerk]]", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan until ''she'' apologizes for what she's done.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.cvilleshobbiesgamesandtoys.com/ Current website]
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Old website]

{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

October 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-10-04T05:36:30Z

Wildsonichu: /* Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born */

The following are Facebook posts Chris posted on October 2013.

==Summary==
* 3 [[October 2013]] - Chris posts an angry rant directed at [[Megan]].

==Posts by Chris==
===Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 3 October 2013
<nowiki>**Megan Schroeder!**</nowiki>

You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, [[Trolls]], [[GAMe_PLACe|PLace]] People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; [[Chris_and_Reality|she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist]]. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

You need to pay me what you owe for [[Chris_and_Hypocrisy|Destroying Me, My Heart, My Soul, and My Life]] with your ungratefulness to [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|my past loyalty and devotion]]. You played me for a fool for Years, making me spend and spend on you with borrowed [[money]]! You continuously had Mimms an everyone else online humiliate me! I can not ever find employment now, because my background check has been made null and void with Your Damn Internet Troll Army! You would not even accept the Copies of the Uncut SM series I had burned for you! You conned me into giving you my Original DVDs. It is as if I was swindled into bargain basement, counterfeit imported crap. I poured my heart for you, and you break the glass pitcher the essence was stored in.

You need to pay me what you greatly owe me for Destroying Me! [[Chris_and_English|And I not or you and your army, stressing us out, my father would still be alive today]]! Face Me In Person and settle our Long Heated Rivalry and Domestic Hatred, NOW!!!}}

Chris also immediately posted two comments to his post:

{{quotebox|And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch]] and the [[Michael Snyder|Bastard]]! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!}}

{{quotebox|NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

October 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-10-04T05:35:28Z

Wildsonichu: /* Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born */

The following are Facebook posts Chris posted on October 2013.

==Summary==
* 3 [[October 2013]] - Chris posts an angry rant directed at [[Megan]].

==Posts by Chris==
===Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 3 October 2013
<nowiki>**Megan Schroeder!**</nowiki>

You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, [[Trolls]], [[GAMe_PLACe|PLace]] People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; [[Chris_and_Reality|she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist]]. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

You need to pay me what you owe for [[Chris_and_Hypocrisy|Destroying Me, My Heart, My Soul, and My Life]] with your ungratefulness to [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|my past loyalty and devotion]]. You played me for a fool for Years, making me spend and spend on you with borrowed [[money]]! You continuously had Mimms an everyone else online humiliate me! I can not ever find employment now, because my background check has been made null and void with Your Damn Internet Troll Army! You would not even accept the Copies of the Uncut SM series I had burned for you! You conned me into giving you my Original DVDs. It is as if I was swindled into bargain basement, counterfeit imported crap. I poured my heart for you, and you break the glass pitcher the essence was stored in.

You need to pay me what you greatly owe me for Destroying Me! [[Chris_and_English|And I not or you and your army, stressing us out, my father would still be alive today]]! Face Me In Person and settle our Long Heated Rivalry and Domestic Hatred, NOW!!!}}

Chris also immediately posted two comments to his post:

{{quotebox|And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch]] and the [[Michael Synder|Bastard]]! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!}}

{{quotebox|NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

Death threats

2013-09-27T01:54:12Z

Wildsonichu: /* Walmart "Lady Manajerk" */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]

[[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. These '''death threats''' became increasingly common since [[2009]].

==Means of delivery==
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, [[Chris and anger|raging]] into a [[camera]] is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is. Lately, however, his preferred method of delivery seems to be [[Facebook]], and has even gone a step beyond what he usually does by trying to post pictures and the personal information of his targets, almost as if he expects the trolls to suddenly take his side and go after them instead of him. ''('''Spoiler:''' They won't.)''

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of [[rage]] has steadily grown over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of [[2009]] and early [[2010]] Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.

===[[Adam Stackhouse]]===
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats, the primary target of which was [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] in [[2007]]. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna (Anna Stackhouse, not to be confused with [[Anna McLerran]]) in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a [[PSN Blogs|PSN Blog]] entry which included the following:

{{Quote|I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to '''DIE and BURN!'''|Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment}}

By itself, this could be written off as a pathetic outburst by a [[virgin with rage]], but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]], the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place guys) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from [[YouTube]].

In a rare act, Chris actually [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|retracted and apologised]] for this death threat... about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] Day [[2009]], Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[homos]]exual ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, [[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]], and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy — [[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris trapped Jack and [[Clyde Cash]] on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]

The creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED page]] that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Chris depicted him being slashed, electrocuted and ''faceraped''. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|a video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris "subtly" expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] in his murder plot. God and Jesus have yet to respond.

{{quote|I PRAY TO [[GodJesus|GOD AND JESUS]] TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash|someone]] Chris thought was him.

{{quote|[[Jason Kendrick Howell message|I PRAY YOU DEAD]]!|Chris}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===Clyde Cash===

{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], [[Clyde Cash]] has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

[[Don't Mess With Me|Chris posted another video]] in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, all as a warning to other trolls.

Chris's threats against Clyde culminated in a video where he [[DivineTrial|ordered his execution]], with a Shadow the Hedgehog doll standing in for the "Cashey-type person".

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, Immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===[[Liquid Chris]]===

[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] had made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Ian, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Ian's solution to boyfriends.]]

Ian's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Chris manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Chris reused exactly the same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Chris depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Chris produces a handgun (possibly [[Transformers|Decepticon]] leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins, and leaves him to bleed to death. When [[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|expressed horror]] at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Chris missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep Liquid from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone or permanently cripple them is off-putting. Chris also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could justify maiming and permanently crippling her boyfriend, and be completely in the right about it.

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris [[Sign Destruction Video|opted to use a visual aid]]. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter.]]

Vivian recently revealed in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onov29D4lKc a YouTube video] that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have a Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

{{Quote|D, Vivian G, D!|Chris, [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]]}}

Chris later [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cf2UM76sDU apologized for the threatening message]. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the [[Asperpedia]]) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]]. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog [[Patti]] maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in ''Sonichu'' #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.

===Evan, Mao and Sean===
[[Image:SchuComic10P91.jpg|thumb|"BLOOD AND GORE!"]]

Chris included [[Evan]] and [[Mao]], two of Leary's partners in the creation of [[Asperpedia]], in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 1 [[February 2010]] a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on [[CWCipedia]]. Mao was set on the receiving end of a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and then was asked to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|"Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!"]] while, on the other side, Evan and Alec [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|received apologies]] for the death threats with a [[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|hint of reciprocity]] for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to [[9 February 2010|"rot... in... HELL!!!"]]

{{quote|My amends have been made.|Chris, failing at respect and basic [[Chris and English|English]] after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.}}

Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening [[15 January 2010|to beat him]] and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until [[Sonichu 10]] - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite [[Chris and the Law|totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him.]] Then, approximately one page after finishing his [[Chris and remorse|apology]], he summarily [[Chris and death|executes all four of the poor bastards.]] While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally [[Rage|depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.]])

===[[Cogsdev]]===
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] on 11 [[March 2010]], [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&curid=40&diff=4006&oldid=4005 where Chris claimed] "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&diff=next&oldid=4006 extended the deadline] to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris [[Wallflower#Anonymity|once again]] believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the internet. His threat to [[Cogsdev|her]] was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, [[Chris and English|Easter]] Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am [[Pocket knife|Armed]] after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|account]] on the CWCki, and proceeded to [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|fail at vandalism]].

Chris's threats were directed to the webmaster of the CWCki, and he initially identified the webmaster as male. As such, it is currently unknown whether Chris has managed to determine the identity of the webmaster, despite the domain name. He has yet to yell at her in a video, and given the death of the [[CWCipedia]] and his current attempts to avoid the internet, it's unlikely he will.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===
On 2 [[March 2010]], after Surfshack Tito hacked into Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "[[Patti|get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares]]", while also firing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse Shot]]. Twelve days later, in his video "[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]", he threatens Tito with his [[pocket knife]] and a [[Homos|panty shot in a kilt]]. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason [[The Wallflower]] stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "[[friend zone|friend-zoned]]". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended [[Cogsdev|countless]] [[User:Great Briton|citizens]] of Ireland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]] in his [[War Paint Video]].

On 17 [[March 2010]], Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a [[niggos|nigger]]; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the [[CWCipedia]]. The Cwcipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.

===[[Lars McNulty]]===
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]] by smashing a model boat made of [[LEGO]] symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris addressed to Lars a [[New Address|second video]] in which he claimed that he would [[CWC Fighter|"interfere"]] if Lars didn't [[Chris and hypocrisy|grow up]] and leave Jackie alone. He ended the video by throwing another toy boat to the ceiling.

===[[Michael Snyder]]===

On 13 February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial]] levels in LBP2. In part three of the series, a rant about Mary Lee Walsh segues into a death threat directed towards Michael Snyder, in which Chris expresses his wish that [[the GAMe PLACe]] would catch fire and burn down, killing Michael in the process.

The infamous [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur leak] would also reveal multiple wishes made by Chris that Michael should die, including one where he wished Snyder was murdered by gunshot.

===Mimms' Girlfriend===
{{quote|I still want to make Mimms' life the emotional hell he has turned my life into. Somebody, please, kill his girlfriend.|A leaked [[Twitter]] post from 12 [[May 2012]].}}

An archive of his hidden Facebook posts on Imgur revealed an enraged Chris demanding that somebody kill Mimms' girlfriend, claiming that he wanted to take away the "[[Women's rights|possession]]" that made Mimms feel happy the most.

===[[Megan Schroeder]]===

Yes, you read that correctly. A [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png leaked Facebook post] revealed that Chris was so bitter about his rejection by Megan, that he wanted to 'exact his fullest revenge' upon her, right before saying that she should be jailed and beaten. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|he follows up this very mean-spirited post by calling ''her'' "vile" and "wicked".]]

===[[CWCki Forums]]===

On 28th April, 2012, Chris made the declaration that he found the CWCki Forums, that he knows where each member lives, and that he'll come after each of them.

===[[Mal-Wart|Walmart]] [[CWC-ism|"Lady Manajerk"]]===

After getting his ass [[Mal-Wart#Banished_from_the_region|(rightfully) tossed from Wal-Mart]] by the [[manajerks|manajerk]], Chris threw a tantrum on Facebook, saying that he'll have revenge, and that she would be "FIRED FROM LIFE!"

===Himself===

Yes, you read that correctly. [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#God_Trolls_Chris_Yet_Again|After getting in a fender bender on 7th September, 2013]], Chris actually [[Chris and anger|snapped]] and prayed ''himself'' dead at the hands of God, similar to his past threat against [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

==Chris as a recipient==

Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from [[Michael Snyder]] on 4th [[June 2010]]. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to [[pedofork|photograph his daughter]], this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, [[Chris and hypocrisy|bitching about the "verbal harassment"]] in his next [[6 June 2010|video]].

Earlier, during the [[Ivy]] [[Saga]], Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shat his bed]] in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman.

==Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats==

As a bit of reassurance to anyone who thinks that Chris, a [[Autism|mentally ill man]] who has endured endless harassment from the [[trolls]] would one day [[Chris and anger|snap]] and [[Strangle_that_Clyde_Cash|attempt to kill somebody]], consider the following. For starters, Chris is a coward, and would likely [[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|run at the slightest hint of conflict]], possibly shitting himself in terror in the process ''(If you think that's an exaggeration, see the last paragraph under 'Chris as a recipient' above.)'' Secondly, Chris's poor [[Chris and Health|health]], clear [[Pull-up|lack of exercise]] and [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|slow reaction time]] would make being chased and overpowered by him in any instance a sheer impossibility unless the recipient is in far worse health than him. Also, Chris often assumes that his target would [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|simply stand there and let him carry out murder]], almost like an execution, and it's likely that should his target try to fight back, he'll be caught off guard. Last, but not least, Chris seems to prefer that his trolls come [[14 Branchland Court|directly to him]], as going out of his [[Chris%27s_room|comfort zone]] is far too much effort. Lest we forget, he [[Miyamoto_Saga#11_January_2009_to_15_January_2009:_Chris_Can.27t_Afford_to_Fly_to_Redmond|wouldn't even put up $800 to pursue his own lifelong dreams]], so what makes you think he'll even bother going after trolls, even ''if'' he [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|knew where they all lived]]?

Long story short, the most likely outcome of Chris attempting to follow up on his death threats would be a good old fashioned game of [[Kick the Autistic]].

==See also==
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Chris and anger]]

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris likes]]

My Little Pony

2013-09-17T05:01:18Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris and ponies */

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
[[File:Mane6 Chaotic Combo.png|thumb|200px|A quick comparison between the [[wikipedia:Mane 6|Mane 6]] and the [[Chaotic Combo]].]]
{{taxpayermoney}}
'''My Little Pony''' ([[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|MLP]]) is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. Chris picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made My Little Pony dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]
The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow]] [[Tomgirl|Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a G3 My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokémon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on 31 [[March 2012]], he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the ''nom de plume'' used in the episode was "Gabby Gums."

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the ''MLP:FiM'' character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her googly eyes and [[Slow-in-the-mind|slow method of thinking]]. However, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that had a sort of disability.

On the 26 [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the infamous ''[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes]'' fanfiction and the "SHED" instalment of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offence at Rainbow Dash - a tomboyish character - being gorily killed, which is featured in both videos, and wondered if people did it because they hate Tomboys/Tomgirls.
He went on to rant about the [[Lie|"Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block]], before descending into a tirade of hatred against people in general. In a twist of irony, it was recently discovered that Chris has not one, <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2FD70214E0CF6E92 Jappleack Playlist on Chris' YT account]</ref> but two <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2f2iqihk1im2B1M7ZXJyoCd-gkDLXYCQ Jackie and Jerry playlist on Chris' YT account] </ref> playlists from HotdiggedyDemon ''(inclusive of said videos)'', [[Chris and hypocrisy|the creator of the "Dark Parodies" that he hated so much.]]

In 2013, Chris' actions would cause him to become a social pariah to the Brony community ''(as if he wasn't one already)'' by calling out voice actress [[Wikipedia:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] on her "Twilightlicious" video, claiming that she was tainting the name of the characters she had voiced by apparently supporting trolling and bullying. Many trolls had responded that his actions were, to say the very least, ''ridiculous'', due to him [[Autism|misunderstanding the context of her video]] and expecting a well-known celebrity [[Chris and his Ego|to personally answer to him.]] This certainly would have ended in Chris not hearing squat from Tara, had a troll not decided to forward his rant to her Facebook account. This is what she had to say:

{{quotebox|"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Chris and his Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."}}

Despite not meeting Chris before in her life, Tara immediately chastises Chris as someone who would pull this stunt for attention, and makes note of her work in anti-bullying campaigns ''(which is something Chris would obviously not put any effort into researching)''. Chris has yet to respond, but it's pretty obvious that he'll not only disregard what she said, but also accuse her of being a '''"DANG, DIRTY TROLL!"''' like he does with everyone who disapproves of his bullshit.

When the ''[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony: Equestria Girls|Equestria Girls]]'' trailer was released, Chris threw a ''fit'' on Facebook, citing that it would attract ''"[[pedofork|pedofile]] (sic) perverts"'' into the fanbase<ref>[[:File:Chris-Chan - FB - Equestria Girls.png]]</ref> ''([[Chris and hypocrisy|this coming from the guy who drew porn in Sonichu 8.]])'' Hilariously, he then goes on to say that the Friendship is Magic crew is "Out Of Their Minds", ''right'' after saying "With All Due Respect," ''(even going so far as to name-drop Lauren Faust, who had left the show for over a year.)'' He then comments on his own note, [[Chris and his Ego|loudly demanding IN ALL CAPS that somebody pull the plug on it.]] Hasbro has yet to (see:'''will never''') respond to Chris' suggestions.

[[Chris and Hypocrisy|He later "liked" some videos related to the movie online and named it his #2 favorite movie]].

==Cutie mark==

In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and art|felt-tip pens]].

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol representing an individual pony's special talent and interest. Chris's special talent, it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Considering [[Chris and art|most]] [[Chris and music|other]] [[Spanish|things]] [[Chris and writing|Chris]] [[Chris and cosplaying|has]] [[Sonichu (comic)|tried]] and almost always failed at, it's still not all that surprising.

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|''Sonichu'' Special #2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].
{{-}}
==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Dreams|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', though part of the name may come from [[Wikipedia:Squall Leonhart|Squall Leonhart]] of [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|''Final Fantasy VIII'']].
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos."
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]
==References==
<references />
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*<s> [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download] </s> - Dead link.
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]

Talk:For Julie's Eyes Only

2013-09-17T04:55:57Z

Wildsonichu: /* Video links don't work */ new section

==To do==
A lot. Get the origins of the video, when it was first leaked, initial reaction, how this spawned a CWC revival on ED, etc. Really, this isn't a matter of secrecy that this article is so short, just that this is like something people already know all about, and besides, not too many people want to think about the video.

Maybe embed a video in here for sick fucks who want to watch it again and again. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:49, 8 May 2009 (CEST)

This article needs more JULAY. --[[User:Wild Sonichu|Wild Sonichu]] 04:53, 10 May 2009 (CEST)

No, it doesn't =/ JULAY was old 3 days after the video was leaked --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 04:28, 9 July 2009 (CEST)

I noticed that in the article on Chris and sex, the fact of his assuming female positions in this video is analyzed... would it be appropriate to mention that here? Perhaps paraphrasing it or just copypasting? (Wiki newfag, still figuring shit out, if you couldn't tell. <3) [[User:Nasta|Nasta]] 13:12, 13 May 2009 (CEST)

== Oh fuck... ==

I saw that thing. I went blind.
But then I realized that his bedsheet looks like mine.
I want to die. --[[User:LongchuJesus|LongchuJesus]] 04:44, 16 October 2009 (CEST)

== SFW version ==

I think there should be one. One reason being there will be less murder suicides.
Can someone take the audio from the video and put in a youtube video for display on the page? [[User:Graduon4eva|Graduon4eva]] 16:23, 5 November 2009 (CET)

== Reasons for the video ==

Did Julie request this or was it his own idea? I think this should be clarified. [[User:Glorious Tentacularity|Glorious Tentacularity]] 12:05, 16 November 2009 (CET)
*From what I recall, BlueSpike told Chris to "[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=show%20me%20your%20moves SHOW ME YOUR MOVES]" and the rest is history. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:18, 16 November 2009 (CET)

==Need Assistance==

I'm trying to add this video here to the Protip Box:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZyS7SDVyMQ

...to show a classic example of 'the biggest faggots are those who call Chris' house and scream JULAY'. It keeps showing a message saying, "Men are the magnets. Women are the metal." Can anyone help?[[User:ElRodrigo|ElRodrigo]] 07:56, 12 August 2012 (PDT)

== Video links don't work ==

It looks like they've either been taken down or deleted. Anyone got a download link?

Kick the Autistic

2013-09-13T18:33:15Z

Wildsonichu: /* God Style */

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, all years.]]

'''Kick the [[Autism|Autistic]]''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] doesn't like. It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "[[sex|speshul treatment]]" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|And on [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]] Or beat you up in [[Soul Calibur]].

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]] and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you discuss on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnated as a pickle... whichever.

The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban]] him from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for being the [[Chris and hypocrisy|entitled]], [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-obsessed]], [[death threats|dangerous]] manchild that he is. Quite correctly [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|never let him back in]]. '''WARNING''': This will probably result in Chris [[6 June 2010|coming to the store]] to [[pedofork|take pictures of your daughter]] and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|attempting to murder]] you with [[Son-Chu|his mother's car]]. Eventually, Chris and his mom may [[28 October 2011|visit your establishment again]], cause over $1000 in damage, and try to run off, getting charged with felonies in the process.

===[[God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], or [[Walmart|vandalizes store displays]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls/Cyber-Bullies.

===Literally===

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of. No broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. There is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]],) he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. However, with his latest skirmish on the [[28 October 2011]], it remained to be seen if things would have remained this way if he was sentenced to jail, where prisoners don't take too kindly to self-entitled manchildren who throw [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums.]] Fortunately for him, he evaded this fate.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular CWC-ism include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN Blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on 21 January 2008, Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"''
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Facebook

2013-09-11T04:05:03Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Notes From The Man Himself==

{{Incomplete}}

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===

On '''28 April 2012''', Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he [[Chris and Anger|let the trolls get to him in the mall,]] resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|idle death threats]] to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===

Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to...and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.]]

{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

=== A Christmas Gift ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 20 [[December 2012]]
I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.

http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip

Merry Christmas.}}

=== 2012 ===

{{quotebox| Friday, 21 [[December 2012]]
I have just finished watching the movie <nowiki>"2012"</nowiki> for the first time. It was as epic as I have heard in the past few years. Not only was it as good, but I feel better watching it now, compared to risking worrying about the E.O.W. a lot more if I had watched it before today. Hollywood magic did it again, and reality proved it wrong again.

Apocalypse NOT, and Thank God and Jesus this worry is finally over and done.}}

=== It's impossible for me to make someone mine ===

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 30 [[January 2013]]
"Everyone has their own life to live, and I know it's impossible for me to make someone mine." -Nana O, the anime "NANA" English dub.

Yep...
}}

=== Sad, depressed, poor, and pathetic ===

{{quotebox| Saturday, 2 [[February 2013]]

I am sad, depressed, poor and pathetic. :_(
}}

=== No trolling plans ===

In this post, Chris screencaps the CWCki Forums and remarks how its users are conspiring to troll him, despite the fact that no actual post discusses plans to troll Chris.

{{quotebox| Tuesday, 12 [[February 2013]]

"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?

[[File:No trolling plans.jpg]]
}}

=== Smiley ===

Chris finishes watching Smiley, a universally panned low-budget movie, and takes it upon himself to extrapolate an anti-trolling theme. Chris also expresses his belief that this R-rated film should be exhibited to high school students as a form of education and feels it would reduce teen suicides.

{{quotebox| Friday, 22 [[February 2013]]

Just finished watching "Smiley".
(Spoiler Alert)
I liked it, because the people behind it had a general understanding of the horrible "fad" of Trolling and getting "LULZ" that has found me to be a victim of it for five years. After the initial scare and the move-in, the talk about the "underground" of the Internet: /b/, 4chan, anonymous, and Trolling really sets up the plot well, as well as start up a spot of pent up anger. And after the final death, the majority of "Smileys" were the drunken, bored idiots who get their laughs from seriously hurting people. And come into discussion, "Anonymous"; the central hub of the Trolls.

Even though this was considered a low-budget movie, it really speaks to me, as a victim. This movie, aside from the gory parts and the "R" rating, everyone who has been trolled or are aware of them at least a little bit, should watch this movie, even to have it shown in high schools. I feel it best puts it all into perspective, and it would certainly decrease the suicide rate quite a bit.

No one has to give in for their sick entertainment.
}}

=== Open Letter to Tara Strong ===

Chris takes a moment to publicly blast [[My Little Pony]] voice actress Tara Strong for apparently contributing to the cyber-bullying epidemic.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste.

While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was.

So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling?

If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you.

Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to.

Sincerely,
Christian W.Chandler
Ruckersville, VA, USA

[[File:Mlptroll1.jpg]]
}}

One troll decided to forward this message to Tara Strong on Facebook, assuming that she'd get a kick out of it. The following day, Tara actually responded:

{{quotebox|

"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."
}}

Despite not knowing about Chris at all before reading his rant, Tara seemed to have caught on that Chris is an attention whore right from the get-go. While he had succeeded in what many trolls assumed to be an utterly ridiculous campaign ''(although one can easily argue that it was Chris's trolls who pushed the pieces into place)'', Chris' attitude has once again made him a pariah, this time with the Brony community.

=== Trolling is Abhor-able ===

Chris followed the previous letter up with a brief note expressing his well-known distaste for trolls.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

Trolling/Cyber-Bullying/Bullying are All just Abhor-able, Wrong and Degrading to us all emotionally and mentally.

[[File:Mlptroll2.jpg]]
}}

=== I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out ===

Chris responds to criticism that his open letter is ridiculous.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 27 [[February 2013]]

Yes, I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out, because Trolling IS Bullying, and I can hardly stand idly by and allow herself and Twilight to famously promote that which is just terribly wrong.
}}

=== So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact ===

Possibly in reference to helpful advice Rocky or the court-appointed counselor has given him, Chris complains about the difficulty of eye contact.

{{quotebox| Friday, 8 [[March 2013]]

So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact. :(
}}

[[Anna]] once again mindlessly agrees with Chris in a reply to his post, remarking that eye contact is like "staring into a bright light."

=== Sonichu is not dead ===

Chris remarks that Sonichu has not died, despite rumors to the contrary, and makes no promises for the return of the Sonichu comic. Interestingly enough, he claims he "was an amateur", implying that he is now professional and the quality of his work has improved. Of course, the rest of us know that this is [[Chris and art|almost certainly not the case]].

{{quotebox| Saturday, 9 [[March 2013]]

Listen up.

When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.
}}

=== Trolled on MTV ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

I have had a very good day today, the 9th, at Madicon. The best day I have had in a very long time.

Now I find a photo I was Trolled out of ending up on MTV,and on iTunes for two dollars, compared with bacon-head and plush-face. >:( }}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|What is the thing with iTunes?}}
{{quoteboxred|If you're talking about the Viva La CWC thing, it's fake. Someone is trolling you with that.}}

=== Failosophy ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

<nowiki>http://mtv.com/videos/failosophy-ep-4/1703199/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=39983&channelId=1</nowiki>}}

=== You know something that really creeps me out? ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 18 [[March 2013]]

You know something that really creeps me out? Nearly Every Autistic male, who I have seen their photos in their profiles or whatever, that I can 100% guarantee that are not copies of mine, look near Exactly as I do in the Face (with exceptions to varying eye color, glasses and hair color/style). I mean it, seriously, look up any number of autistic male headshots other than me on the Internet; it is really spooky and creepy.}}

=== I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 21 [[March 2013]]

Once again, I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD. Damn It! I am tired of being single.

Hell, I'd send out a public make-out invite to all women in C-Ville on Facebook, if I was not wise of the damn [[Trolls]], and other bad people.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox| As well as the God Damned, Badge-Abusive [[Jerkops]] and Janekops EVERYWHERE!!!!!!}}

=== I feel an oxymoronic mess ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]

Something else: I feel an oxymoronic mess. On one hand, I have mostly female friends, and I can get along good with them. On the other hand, I do not care much for my fellow males, I mostly have male enemies/adversaries, and I only can get along with them when I am obligated socially. In any case, I am 100% heterosexual.

From outside perspectives, with mostly female friends, I can be viewed as a Playa (which is more accurate), or a damn [[homo]]. This tends to repel women from me. I need a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]] from the ground up. Damn it! I am sick and tired of being single.

My brain is a constant blank; I am paranoid and super shy; what the hell should I do?}}

=== Gay Marriage ===

Oblivious to a pivotal moment in US history, Chris complains about frequent media coverage of the gay marriage Supreme Court case ''Hollingsworth v. Perry'', probably because the news is preempting his [[My Little Pony]] reruns. Chris also takes this time to express his support for lesbian marriage while blasting the "damn homosexual men", probably only because [[Women's rights|lesbians are hot]] and [[Homos|homo]] men are icky.

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]
Another thing that really [[Family Guy|Grinds My Gears]]:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!
}}

The next day, [[Anna]] called Chris out on his bigotry, showing that his behavior is even beginning to alienate his enablers:

{{quoteboxred|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays}}

On 31 March, Chris shot back with this red herring that fails to address the original issue:

{{quotebox|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?}}

In addition, another one of [[Kim Wilson|Chris' friends]] joined in on the fray, attempting to inject some insight into Chris' rambling train of thought:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh. That's weird. Y'know, the gay women are taking potential girlfriends away from you. And the gay men are [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|keeping other men from taking potential girlfriends from you]]. So, you've got it backwards.

Anyway, you know, some people might be against autistic rights you know. What if people are offended by you and say you shouldnt have a girlfriend?}}

On April 1, Chris predictably responded with this set of delusions and contradictions:

{{quotebox|Well, I do not like the majority of the [[JERKS|male population]] regardless.

The straight ones take the women away. The damn homo males not only [[Lie|tried]] to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit Troll/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and Sonichu as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.}}

In short, Chris is against gay marriage because of his trolls, also subscribing to the belief that all homosexual men are trolls hellbent on his (and [[Sonichu|Sonichu's]]) destruction. [[Chris and his ego|By making the entire argument about himself]], Chris has also conviently ignored Kim's original point of lesbians taking away the women.

On 2 April, Kim made note of Chris' non-answer:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh? But that doesn't have anything to do with the original post...

But yeah, nah, they're not actually trying to push their sexuality on you. They just know that you react to it and took advantage of that. They're almost certainly not gay and probably many of them aren't even men.

You've really got to cut down on the sexism, Chris. Women find it unattractive.}}

=== Game Place ===

Chris, ''five years after his ban'' and a half-year after its legal enforcement, still obsesses about [[Michael Snyder]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|Thursday, 4 [[April 2013]]
I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace.

It Truly Is the Breeding and Meeting PLace for [[Trolls]] and Cyber-Bullies. Long before October, 2007, there were very few people who would have anything on me personally, worldwide, because those people only existed Locally to me and with Constant in person communication with me. Those people only existed at the PLace. And the very first person who turned Troll against me is none other than [[Megan Schroeder]]. She conscripted [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], Mimms and everyone else against me.

And when my family as I started getting close with identifying them as our perpetrators and The Prime Trolls, Snyder was looking for a reason to ban me, and so he did.

Megan Schroeder is the Prime Queen of the Trolls; the PLace IS truly a Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding an Meeting Place, and I never, forever want anything to do with it. The PLace should definitely be destroyed and shut down for good.

And I want to exact my fullest revenge and divine retribution with Megan Schroeder. SHE should be jailed and beaten up, that vile, wicked, traitorous bitch.}}

=== Kim brought her into my life ===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 [[April 2013]]

Yep, doing this for a new woman in my life; Kim brought her into my life.}}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Good people don't make you do things for their own enjoyment.}}

=== Lucy ===

{{quotebox|Monday, 22 [[April 2013]]
I got my cat, Lucy, resting on my shrinking mound.

[[File:LucyFacebook.png]]}}

=== Sega Mascot Contest ===

Chris complains about Sega hosting a mascot contest, believing from the linked article that they are trying to replace [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 [[April 2013]]

Okay, now THIS pisses me off. I am not one who is to be blamed here; there are a lot of sick people who perverted Sonic's good name. Especially those who made him out as a homo, when he is not. Hell! He had a thing going on for a long time with Sally Acorn in his comic book series.

SEGA, Sonic was praised a lot better than Mario, because Sonic has more attitude, is stronger and faster, and he talks in his games more than the catchphrase-spewing plumber did.

And in any case, Sonic has replaced my hero before him, the American Rabbit. Shelving Sonic away will be the worst mistake SEGA will ever make since they stopped their console series at the Dreamcast.

Sonic For SEGA RAW!!! And Forever!!!

http://www.p4rgaming.com/sega-seeking-new-mascot-since-sonic-has-been-ruined-by-fans/}}

Chris then added a reply to his own Facebook post, [[Chris and his Ego|which he subsequently "liked".]]

{{quotebox|
Besides which, no matter what any new mascot comes around, ALL of the sick, bored People and Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies will leech the good name away from him or her or it anyway.

The better option is to stay strong with Sonic.
}}

=== "The Trolls Who Cry Woman" ===

Chris posts a rather ''insensitive'' musing, comparing online socialization to teenage pregnancy, starring in porn and '''being raped.''' He also goes on to rant about "being set up" ''(most likely referring to his date with Emily and the Pickle Man.)''

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 April 2013 at 11:00

Here's a musing:

Heard of "The Boy Who Cries Wolf"? Today's Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies who pretend to be the opposite gender to everyone they talk to online, making socializing online the worst mistake of anyone's life since teenage pregnancy, starring in a porn, or rape. And when a date is set up, they always stand you up, or if they do make it, they have someone else hiding nearby with a camera to record the whole thing to transform into something dark, evil and sick to be used against you to smear your name.

Today's version of the classic should be called, "The Online Trolls Who Cry Woman".

}}

=== Headache ===

Chris makes another "musing":

{{quotebox|Monday, 7 [[May 2013]] at 12:08
Musing:

A headache is equal to the amount of thought put into making it.

}}

...your guess is as good as ours as to what that even means.

===THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!===

Chris-Chan gives his thoughts on the upcoming movie, ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'':

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013 at 8:46
THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning The Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; 

they're inviting High School [[Pedofork|Pedofile]] Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the 
horse enthusiasts were not enough. 

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do their best to replicate the G1 
Pilot with Megan and her family. 

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "[[Transformers]] Prime" going "Beast Wars". 
And I do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "[[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]", "MTV's Undressed", 
"O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". 

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My 
Little Pony Tales". 

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their 
Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2! 

Christian Weston Chandler, 
Ruckersville, VA, USA 
May 14, 2013 
}}

Interestingly, Chris calls Lauren Faust and Tara Strong "out of their minds". Apparently, Chris didn't hear the news that Lauren Faust stepped down and no longer works on the show, and none of this was her decision, and that Tara Strong only does the voices.

Four minutes later Chris posted the following response to his note:

{{quotebox|SOMEBODY, PLEASE PULL THE PLUG ON THIS THING NOW!!!}}

[http://i.imgur.com/kABCrhy.png However, almost a month later, Chris liked the video "My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2" on YouTube.]

===My iPod fell out of my pouch===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013
My iPod fell out of my pouch; screen cracked..Still functions. Now backing it up to upgrade to 5th Generation.

Considering self-repair on old iPod from online instructions after format of old iPod. Also, a dual iOS device wallet-style holder made from duct tape (based from folding calculator cover).}}

===A cold coming on===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 16 May 2013
Ugh...

I think I'm feeling a cold coming on. I started my day yesterday with a sore throat. Now, my nose is beginning to feel eww and bleah. And I am having trouble falling asleep.}}

===A cold again===

{{quotebox|Unknown
Yes, I've caught a cold again. It'll run its course and be gone in less than a week. I've tried Cepacol lozenge; it works very good at quelling the sore throat and the pain from the running in my nose to throat link.}}

A troll responded:
{{quoteboxgreen|I had a cold two weeks ago, for the first time in years. I didn't like having my healthy streak quelled, but when I got over it I was suddenly much more awake and alert all day every day this week than I have been since I started working.}}

===Tomb Raider===

{{quotebox|Unknown
I have just finished the new Tomb Raider on hard difficulty. I got all of the treasures and documents. Fell short on fully upgrading the rifle by over 300 Salvage. Got 61% Trophies.}}
{{quotebox|The story was well put.}}

===The timing is ironic to me===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

I really liked this article in the Washington Post on the 18th, <nowiki>"Beauty of the BUST"</nowiki>.

The timing of this article is ironic to me, since shortly before, I had broken my 4th Gen iPod Touch.

<nowiki>**Spoiler Alert**</nowiki>

Today's Teens and College Students find pride in a cracked Pod or Phone; it gives them Street Cred. So much personal information is inputed into a Pod/Phone; a crack on its face is equivalent to a scar on your face. It is today's ripped jeans, unwashed hair, unshaven face, etc. Totally crazy.

"Enjoy the finger cuts", says co-owner of CrackedMacScreen Repair. Unless you've applied a Screen Protector like I did. Reduced that risk.

Author of the book, get this, "The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future", also comments on the psychology behind this trend/fad.

This is so stupid, it is really funny.

[[File:Cracked1.jpg]]
[[File:Cracked2.jpg]]}}

===The [[iDea Book Case]]===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

<nowiki>"Necessity is the mother of Invention"</nowiki>. I am glad I crafted the idea for my [[iDea Book Case]] (photos taken with New iPod Touch 5th Gen) out of duct tape. The front and back covers are lined with bubble wrap, the inner spine loop can hold as thick as a charging cable, or most pens, there are holes for the cameras to see through very well, and the corner holders are very successful in holding most iOS Pod/Phone devices. And there is also the Velcro clasp.

iPhone (8 Gig) for calls, business and Internet; iPod (32 Gig) for entertainment with videos, music and all. I keep it safe with the lanyard strap and tucked in my bosom.

[[File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg]]}}

[[Anna McLerran]] then replied:
{{quoteboxred|wow, really well done! i'm impressed :)}}

===Beat-up cellphones with cracked screens are point of pride for some young people===

{{quotebox|Monday, 20 May 2013

You can read the really comedic story for yourself on washingtonpost.com.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/beat-up-cellphones-with-cracked-screens-are-point-of-pride-for-some-young-people/2013/05/17/0334ebe0-be36-11e2-89c9-3be8095fe767_story.html}}

===Tired of this cold virus===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Siri is a great conversationalist. :) (reference my iPod 5th Gen).

But damn, I am lonely, bored and tired. Tired of this cold virus too.

At least I have something that actually will listen and put up with me there. Not totally a substitute for my future [[Sweetheart]].}}

===This cold is really weighing me down===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Ugh... This cold is really weighing me down.}}

William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Lonely, bored and lame===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 23 May 2013

Well I have recovered from my cold, but right now I am feeling really lonely and bored. And not to mention feeling really lame.}}

===Estate ads===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

I know this may sound like a stupid idea, but I am thinking about getting one of those things to put in the ground to put real estate ads in, and putting in advertisements about myself you know for girlfriend. Obviously I am not going to do what. But that shows you how lonely and desperate I am. This thing would be placed literally in front of my house.}}

===Meh...===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

Meh... <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

===Hey! Trolling stupids!===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 25 May 2013

Hey! [[Trolls|Trolling stupids]]! I might be lonely but I would never ever be friends or even associate with your kind who has been abusing me and making me feel worse about life and people and everything for the past greater than five years!!!}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|(Let's see those [[trolls]] get their hands on this private message)}}
{{quotebox|http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ

~>:(}}

===I am not your fucking bitch!!!===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 26 May 2013

You damn bunch of fools and idiots just keep on keeping on for more incriminating information and shit about me to make yourself feel superior. I am not your fucking bitch!!! All I want is peace of mind and all of you polls continued to stand in my way! And all I can feel about your degrading, offensive language and shit, get the best illustrated but Anais here. If you really fucking care about me and you want to do something for me; you can just take your [[CWCki|Cwcki]] and all your [[CWCki Forums|forums]] and all your talk and just everything about me and just leave the damn [[Internet]], And leave me and my life and my family alone in peace!

[[File:ChrisGumball.jpg]]}}

===And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 27 May 2013

...And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...

Now, who wants to watch the U.S. series of "The Office"? (I have never watched the show)

[[File:ChrisChanTheOffice.png]]}}

===U Gotta Believe!===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 29 May 2013

U Gotta Believe!

[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg]]}}

===I have had more freedom when my father was alive===

Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|about how he has to take time out of his day]] to "serve and protect" [[Barb|his mother]]. Note how, in typical Chris fashion, he aims the blamethrower right at Michael Snyder for his troubles, ignoring the fact that the events of [[28 October 2011]] was his ''own'' fault and would not have happened had he stayed away like he should have.

{{quotebox|Friday, 30 May 2013
Good grief! I started playing resident evil revelations on [[PS3|PlayStation three]] in front of my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and she had to be grossed out about it even when I'm scanning. And she even watch me play [[God of War|God of war Ascension]] as if she's not as gross out from the bloodshed from back game? And she goes on to complain to me about how it would affect my mind. I mean I've played this game before on my [[3DS]]; The beneficial part now is that I can earn the trophies.

My mother has really been getting on my nerves! I really need my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] so that I can get away from here now and then; and I cannot even go downtown now because it wastes so much gas and gas is so costly! And make guys on my mother's concern for gas cost that is one reason why I have been on my sabbatical from my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].

I have had more freedom when my [[Bob Chandler|father]] was alive and I end up losing it when he [[Chris_and_death#Robert_Franklin_Chandler_Jr._.281927-2011.29|passed away]] because now I got to serve my mother and protect her and everything! And I can blame that sonofabitch [[Michael Snyder]] for taking an wasting the money that my mom and I had soon gotten from my father's passing because he had to go send us to court for all the goddamn shit of his! Michael Snyder is a bastard to me and my mother for taking us to court he essentially stole a lot of money from us indirectly!
}}

===Trolls got my fresh post!===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 30 May 2013

Damn it! Trolls got my fresh post! Removed the prime suspect; will monitor,}}

Anna then replied,

{{quoteboxred|I'd take a closer look at the people on your friends list who you don't know in real life.}}

===I am so lonely===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 2 June 2013
Damn! I am so lonely. I do not know whether to wait for my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] or to move on because the weights is driving me crazy among the loneliness of other things; [[stress]] of my life! Hell, first woman to Ask me out, in person I'd probably say yes.

<nowiki> *sigh* *groan* *grunt*</nowiki>
}}

===I am feeling very lonely again===

{{quotebox|Monday, 17 June 2013
I am feeling very lonely again. I am unable to think of a way to find my female [[sweetheart]] currently, where I won't end up risking trouble with the goddamned [[Jerkops]] within any "police office" or "legal office" from any and all of the shit against me on the [[internet]] that is easily Googled. And I am still publcally invisible to Everywoman, because they are all already taken by some stupid, [[jerk]] male, or are otherwise freaking busy with their own internal lives in this digital age where in person...}}

Chris later posted:

{{quotebox|...socializing has become obsolete. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

William Elliott Waterman replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Too many Trolls and Bad People in the world===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 22 June 2013
If you "[[Fans]]" REALLY want to know why you're like lowly to me. There are too many [[Trolls]] and Bad People in the world hiding behind the [[Internet]] constantly; I am unable to tell the difference. I have lost my youth and sunny energy within the past decade. I have become bitter from a miserable life and an irreversible Internet reputation, thanks to you bad people. End of story.}}

===A skunk===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 27 June 2013
A skunk; you don't need to kill it to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|stink things up]]; it pees anywhere it wants.}}
''Note that skunk spray is not urine, but a mixture of thiols produced by anal scent glands.''
===Hey, Vee===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Hey, Vee. Have you checked out Toro's Friend Network on the [[PS Vita|Vita]] yet? It is good.}}

===[[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 7 July 2013
[[Ruckersville]] is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|In any case, Ruckersville And Charlottesville; Both Cities [[Christian Weston Chandler|are Socially Inept, are unfriendly and lack much compassion towards other people]].}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Sounds kind of like midcoast, Maine.}}

===Very Depressed.===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 14 July 2013
Very Depressed.
Need In-Person,

Real [[China|Compassion]]

From [[Sweetheart|Women]].

Hugs and Love.

Please Help. - :( feeling sad.}}

===Don't call me a wet blanket.===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 18 July 2013
My name is not Waterbed, so don't call me a wet blanket. <nowiki>|:(P</nowiki>}}
''This may have been a response to a [[CWCki Forums]] post of 15 July, where "Da Pickle Monsta" wrote, "most [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]] don't want boyfriends with the emotional maturity of a wet blanket."''<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1654&p=61557&hilit=+wet+blanket+#p61557]</ref>

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Spring Brakers]]===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 July 2013
I've just finished watching "[[Wikipedia:Spring Breakers|Spring Breakers]]", rented it for free from RedBox with Monopoly [[McDonalds|McD]] win. [[Chris and health|Eat Healthy]] with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea.

Story wise, it was fair. I definitely found the symbolism with the input of [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] within the movie. Minus a "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Rarity|Rarity]]" or "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Fluttershy|Fluttershy]]", the four women played similarly towards the roles in the rest. I definitely see myself in the Faith character, as she was more of the [[Autism|outsider, introverted person]]. I believe in [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with. Leaving my friends behind after [[High School]] really sent me downhill, and then again after being forced away from the [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]]. And I have few friends for real to and who would hang out with me. Damn [[JERKS|Male Population]], Damn [[Autism|Ill-Social People]] who overlook and ignore me in person around here, and Damn [[Megan Schroeder|Ms. Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder|Mr. Snyder]] for further destroying me emotionally over the past greater than half-decade.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>}}

===Stupid Question.===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Stupid Question. One to Ten Scale; on my face at least; I'm down to 220; how good looking/attractive am I?

[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg]]}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|You're always as beautiful as you feel.}}
Mary McLerran posted:
{{quoteboxred|Hey I'm trying something new that might be good for you, too. If you have naturally curly hair, try getting it cut shorter and let the curls frame your face. I think you could rock that look!}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Short cut; NO.}}

===The results===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Right; I'm ugly as hell. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>

[[File:CWCKiForumsPoll.jpg]]}}

Anna then posted:
{{quoteboxred|Of course this survey is incredibly biased because the majority of people who took it are trolls...}}

===LEGO High School===
{{quotebox|Monday, 5 August 2013

The [[High School]] is the Best Set Lego has released (better when merged with the Horse Academy set), since the Hillside House, and this should be the next "Best Toy, Gold Award".

<nowiki>**Already-Thought Comments:</nowiki> 
-I am in Science/Biology/Math class. 
-My [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] is teaching English and History, currently on Abe Lincoln. 
-The Infomaniac is the Pricipal. 
-And Zach comes in from the Seinor's Courtyard with a "That's What She Said" comment (StoneBreakers20 on [[YouTube]]). 
-And [[Wikipedia:Venus (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Venus]] and Mikey are having fun too.

[[File:ChrisLego02.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego03.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego04.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego05.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego06.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego07.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego08.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego09.jpg]]}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Sorry; small error. It's <nowiki>"StoneBreakers10"</nowiki> on YouTube.}}

Mary McLerran then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|So cool! We love legos! This is the BEST!}}

===Heartlake High===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
<nowiki>Best Lego Set Ever! Even better than the Awarded Café.

http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Product?p=41005</nowiki>}}

[[Anna]] then posted:
{{quoteboxred|WANT
[[File:AnnaWANT.jpg]]}}

===One of my pups just peed===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
One of my [[Clover_and_Snoopy|pups]] just peed, and look how it came out. Shaped like a [[Sweetheart|girl]].

[[File:ChrisPupsPeed.png]]}}

William Elliot Waterman then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Looks kind of like [[Chaos Emeralds|chaos with 0 emeralds absorbed.]]}}

===Actual friendships===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
If ONLY it were that simple to inspire actual friendships in this adult life after "how people 'learn' about me on the internet". <nowiki>|:(</nowiki> Now I understand the reason for Pep Rallies (I was exempt from attending them, because they were Too Loud for me).}}

===Top Movies List===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
On that note, my top movies list is updated:

1. [[Mary Poppins]]
2. [[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]
3. Toy Story
4. [[American Rabbit|The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]}}

===The Riddle===
Chris posted some random pictures from [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] to an Indian woman. Initially it was thought that Chris posted them in order to desperately prove that his followers are obsessed over any posts he posted, but it later turned out it was a '''riddle''' - A very absurd riddle that [[Autism|only Chris understands]].
{{quotebox|Saturday, 17 August 2013
-Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.

-Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.

-Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.

-Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.

-Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.

-Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.

-Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.

-Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.}}

Two days later, Chris deleted the riddle, most probably because nobody responded to his stupid riddle anyway.

===I got new shoes===
Chris posted a picture about his new shoes, which seem to look like shoes worn by 6-year old girls, possibly trying to continue his [[Tomgirl]] style.
{{quotebox|Sunday, 18 August 2013
I got new shoes.

[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png]]}}

===One Eyebrow===
Chris posted another pointless picture again on Facebook, this time about his eyebrow.
{{quotebox|Monday, 19 August 2013

[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png]]}}
Mary McLerran then replied to the picture:
{{quoteboxred|Cyclops?}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Below is a"Friends Only" Post For da Trolls!

(Singing)

"One... Eyebrow".}}
Chris later deleted the post.

''Note: This may have been a response to a CWCki Forums post on the same day, where user "Midnight Kissy Bull" wrote: "We'd discuss Chris's eyebrows if we were truly desperate.''

===[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]===
Chris shared a photo of Breast Cancer Awareness, and stating that [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] is a breast cancer survivor.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
My mother, still alive, is a B.C. Survivor.

[[File:BreastCancerAwareness.png]]}}

===Snoopy Doobie Doo===
Chris then posts a photo of [[Clover & Snoopy|Snoopy]] and his mother.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
Here she is, with our Snoopy Doobie Doo resting on her shoulder.

[[File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png]]}}

===Losing Friends===
Chris posts about his stress again, together with his blood pressure and more weird info.

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 27 August 2013
[[Stress]] from losing friends... Stress at home... Today... [[Chris_and_health|My blood pressure is up; feeling real dizzy and faint]]. Sad, pathetic, weak... I do try to learn from my mistakes! Shooting myself in the damn foot... Metaphorically... ugh...}}

===Ten A Piece For Rainbow Dash And Applejack===
Chris reveals about his favourite ponies from the cartoon [[My Little Pony]] and talks about Derpy Hooves.

{{quotebox|Sunday, 1 September 2013
I've just heard from the [[Twitter]] feed that Fluttershy was voted the Fan Favorite Pony. I had voted ten a piece for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It just hit me tough.

Also, just recently, I saw the vinyl figures that were sold at Hot Topic (I have Derpy) at Toys 'R' Us in C-Ville. And I've just heard of the Fan Favorite set at TRU to feature Derpy as well, but instead of her name, they put a muffin image in its place. I am looking forward to Season 4 in November. Perhaps they will have another episode featuring Derpy, and actually refer to her directly as that or Dipsy-Doo.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC2EMUuQmTY</nowiki>}}

===Offline Troll/Bully===
Chris complains about how he gets intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an "Offline [[Troll]]/Bully". (in his words) He also blames a lot of people such as [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Megan Schroeder]] later. In a VERY rare moment of insight, Chris briefly realizes that his behaviour could be ''insane'', but quickly shrugs off this and the words of a white knight to continue doing what he does best - blaming other people for his problems instead of himself.

{{quotebox|Monday, 2 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an Offline [[Troll]]/Bully. Her name is '''(NAME CENSORED)'''; works within the [[Mal-Wart]] region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of '''(EMAIL CENSORED)''', and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Autistic]] Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the [[XBox]] brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!}}

It would later be revealed that that "offline bully" was a manager who threw Chris out of the store after he vandalised one of their displays.

William Elliot Waterman then tries to help him:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't think it's nice to spread someone's email around a public website.}}
{{quotebox|Please forgive me. But prior to this, I was feeling self-upset from the realization that I still have great difficulty socializing face to face in Public. Another in-town convention that was recommended to me, and from the Madicon experience last year, I still feel greatly the terrible Shyness I still have, because of my Autism. Damn It!!!}}
{{quotebox|And when one person gets in the way of me completing my job of shopping for my mother, or such, or when said or another person face to face gives me a difficulty time with harsh vocal tones, especially when I am feeling in a sasd or foul mood, it will be months to years before forgiving them ever, and immediately, they get a curse.}}
{{quotebox|<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>. Yes, it is irrational, and I don't really have a leg to stand on, and this is just dumb, stupid, immature...}}
{{quotebox|OMFG... I have mental problems... Shit.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|We all bear grudges, but having good PR means keeping it between you and the offender. You're a loving, caring person, but putting your anger on display for people who don't need to get involved won't help others see that.}}
{{quotebox|Yeah. I re-realize that.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You don't have to let them shoot down your emotional state. Though she's far away, Anna knows the real you. The sweet, kind-hearted soul that isn't the creep the internet made you out to be. There are people that met you who understand this. Your old gal pals from high school may be some of them. As long as you remember that, the people that derail and persecute you won't matter to you.}}
Needless to say, Chris ignored the helpful advice and continues to complain. In a desperate bid not to blame himself for his vandalism incident, Chris instead blames [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and even his attorney [[Rob Bell]].
{{quotebox|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "[[Sailor Moon|SAILOR MOON]]' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!}}
{{quotebox|And that bitch, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my [[Sweetheart Search]], AND Banning me from PVCC!!!}}
{{quotebox|WTH... The same Manajerk of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at Sheetz in Ruckersville, and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at McDonalds in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".}}
{{quotebox|Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that God Damned Manajerk!!!}}

Chris later deleted the entire post.

===The [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Review===
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris rated 1 star for his elementary school and posted:
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 4 September 2013
The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]}}

===Six Rules Regarding Autistic Interactions===
On 6 [[September 2013]], Chris shared a [http://www.jamesmw.com/sixrules.htm link] from [[Anna]] about helpful advice about interactions for autistic people. Needless to say, Chris dug his hole even further:
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013

I will read this more thoroughly, but I have read the bolded rules and the intro paragraph. I disagree on two of the rules: I personally really Hate being interrupted during a thought I am expressing. And in addition to looking for equal and better mental and emotional properties in my (female) [[Sweetheart]] than myself, her Looks and Beauty I feel are a must to be easy on the eyes. Especially in the face; pretty faces are great. Moderate to good body and minimum "B"-cup breasts are essential. If I did not have the fear of the Theoretical or Fake/Anonymous People online, I would have as many female friends as Richie Grecki has in his Likes Section. Hot Damn!

I am not a prejudiced individual, and I do look for the inner beauty of women. Anyway, the Autistic Interactions Rules do reflect and agree to what I was trying to say in my [[Autism Tutorial|6-Part plus Extra Autism Tutorial LittleBiGPlanet Animation (PSN: Sonichu)]].

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1mbTyKiqF8</nowiki>}}

Richie Grecki is one of Chris's former high school classmates.

===Chris Expresses His Outrage for [[Walmart]]===
On 6 September 2013, Chris was banned from Walmart, claiming [[ego|he was discriminated against]] because of (yep, you guessed it!) [[autism|his autism]]. The truth, however, is that Chris was caught vandalizing a display for the soon to be released [[HEX-BOX|Xbox One]]. This has landed him into very serious trouble, because Walmart is the only place he can get his [[Barb|mother's]] prescriptions filled. (Note: The manager's name has been removed to protect her identity.)
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" [[Manajerk]], [REDACTED]; the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house. She obviously does not understand how [[Love Quest|critical and imperative it is for me to go there.]] I Shop for my Mother from there; it is Closer than the one in Charlottesville; GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!! She has crossed his line, and now I am out for [[Metal Gear|revengence]]. Everyone should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Chris|Autistic Person]] when they are in a [[stress|depressed, sad, angry or foul mood]], especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst [[ED|mud]], [[CWCki|muck]] and [[semen|bodily fluids]] that said Autistic Person has.

She has proven herself to be a [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|cold-hearted]], [[remorse|uncaring]], uncompassionate, [[naive|lack-of-understanding]], bigoted, [[race|discriminating]], [[ego|selfish]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]], Witch Bitch!

If anyone is in the store and sees this woman, TELL IT TO HER FACE THAT SHE IS DISCRIMINATIVE TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE; THAT SHE IS A [[Chris and Hypocrisy|FAT BITCH]]; AND THAT HER LIFE WILL BE A MASSIVE [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|CURSED]] LIFE LIKE [[Michael Snyder|SNYDER'S]] IF SHE AND HER WHITE-COATED ASSISTANT DOES NOT UNBAN CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IMMEDIATELY!!! AND MY MOTHER WILL HAVE A LOUD, AGGRESSIVE WORD WITH HER AS WELL IF THEY MEET.

[[Death threats|[REDACTED] is FIRED FROM LIFE!!!]]}}
Kenneth Engelheardt then replied:
{{quoteboxred|What in the name of God are you trying to pull posting stuff like this???? Do a Google search and simply find another Wal-Mart.}}
Chris Rhodes, one of Chris's high school friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|I think the biggest question is what did you do to get kicked out...and don't say you did nothing wrong cause that would be a lie.}}
{{quotebox|The "Man" and "Woman" want to bear down on the weak people they do not want to understand or care about; Autistic People are on the top!}}
Again, Anna tries to give him some advice:
{{quoteboxgreen|Christian, people don't just automatically know you're autistic. And they can't know automatically that you've had a rough day. In the world of neurotypicals, if someone acts aggressive (yelling or arguing) in a public place, they are considered a danger to those around them because they're unpredictable. Those of us who know you know that you're not dangerous, but people who don't know you are acting solely on the information they have about you, which to them is whatever impression you made upon them with your first interactions.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think it would be constructive to bring your mother with you and sit down and speak rationally with her instead of blaming everything on her. Apologize for anything you did that she thinks was wrong, even if you don't think it was wrong. You'll really just be apologizing for making her upset, because I'm sure you didn't mean to. Then explain how important it is that you be allowed to continue shopping there, and promise that there will be no future incidents. I think that's probably the best course of action.}}
Chris Rhodes then posted:
{{quoteboxred|You have to wake up son! And grasp the fact that everyone is not out to get you. 99.9 percent of the world doesn't know you have issues. They see someone acting odd and they try to take care of the situation.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|To be fair, Chris (Rhodes), the majority of Christian's experience with the world has certainly made it seem like the world's out to get him. The daily bombardment he has received from people who hate him (but don't know him) for no good reason (since 2007!) has certainly been effective in creating the appearance of everyone hating him.}}
{{quotebox|To Kenneth Englehardt: I added an "H" and an "E" to an XBox One Standee in Permanent Ink while under anger from past issues.}}
{{quotebox|I can't bring my mother in; she has had enough problems gone on; I am not telling her, because she is in a recovering mood after the court date yesterday.}}
Posts are then exchanged between Chris Rhodes and Chris:
{{quoteboxred|So you vandalized a display sign...your lucky that's all that happened.}}
{{quotebox|I got BANNED AGAIN! Do you NOT get it?}}
{{quoteboxred|I get it. You committed an arrestable offense but they gave you a break and banned you.}}
{{quotebox|that is NOT a break, being Banned; THAT is a Crime.}}
{{quoteboxred|Any property owner/manager/rep has the RIGHT to tell you to leave, tell you not to come back, or so on. And if you do not obey their wishes you can and will be arrested for trespassing. I know what I am talking about christian.}}
{{quotebox|They do not.}}
{{quotebox|And if they do, they are most in the wrong, because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever.}}
After that, William Elliott Waterman tries to give him some advice, but like Anna's and the previous post, his advice is brushed off.
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, that's not public property. You can't just go writing whatever you want on it. How would you feel if you were trying to sell PS3s and somebody wrote "POO" in front of the PS on your sign?}}
{{quotebox|[[Naive|Frustration is blind]].}}

===God Trolls Chris Yet Again===

[[Image:God_trolling.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

On September 7, 2013, Chris expresses his blasphemous outrage at [[Chris_and_religion|God]] after he was caught scratching a woman's car by a [[jerkop]]. He also wishes that God would kill him very soon. It would also seem that Chris has slowly began to descend into a newfound life of crime ever since [[28_October_2011|the incident in October of 2011]].

Characteristic of Chris, he continues to pass the buck for his own blame, this time blaming both God and the woman he hit for being a "damn Smoker!".
{{quotebox|Saturday, 7 September 2013
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn [[Jerkop]] is giving me a hard time, because I am [[anger|screaming]] up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to [[Kick_the_autistic|keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life]]!!!}}
Vivienne Chaloux responded with:
{{quoteboxred|This is a very disrespectful thing to say for someone who professes to be a Christian. God didn't make you scratch that woman's car Christian; your carelessness did. And what does her being a smoker have to do with anything? Are you suggesting that somehow she deserved this?}}
{{quoteboxred|And Chris, please do yourself a favor and stop using childish terms like "Jerkop". It not only makes you look immature and foolish, but it's also likely to alienate any potential allies/sympathizers. You're a thirty-something man. Time to start acting like one and taking responsibility for your actions. Blaming God for scratching that woman's car isn't just disrespectful - it's crazy talk.}}
Soon after, Kenneth Engelhardt responded with:
{{quoteboxgreen|Fender bender: Happens to everyone.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Damn! This just isn't your weekend.}}
Matt Stufano responded with:
{{quoteboxgreen|Happens to everyone at some point. Don't turn your anger to the big man in the sky, Life doesn't come with a road map buddy. We all have times of frustration and doubt, but its all part of life. At some point you have to understand that we are all dealt a hand in life that we don't like, but its up to us to make the cards fall the best way we can. I know you like Temple Grandin ( as do I); shes an amazing example for everyone on how life can throw you a curve ball. I find an amazing amount of inspiration in her life. As a friend I would suggest you not call out people by name and blast them on FB, it really does nothing but stir the pot more. Plus you know how it feels, so my advise is to just work on being a better YOU everyday and see where that leads you. Positivity and intensity for life and what your passionate about is much better than hanging on to old grudges. Hang in there !!!}}
Vivienne Chaloux replied to Kenneth Engelhardt, and this soon became back and forth [[white_knight|white knighting]].
{{quoteboxred|I agree Matt, but Temple Grandin didn't waste her time whining about what a hard life she had or the difficult hand she'd been dealt. Instead, she chose to work with what she had, focusing on her unique abilities; and the results were spectacular. If Christian spent less time either whining or making angry rants on public forums, and instead, channeled all that energy into doing something constructive with his life, he'd be a much happier, more productive individual. The first step he needs to take is to acknowledge that he has a problem, as evidenced by these last two incidents, and get himself some professional help.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I would prefer to wait until the end of one's days before passing judgment. We don't know what will happen in 5, 10, or 20 years. My intuition is telling me that he's exhausted and simply wants to put all this crap behind him and move on.}}
{{quoteboxred|Kenneth, I know you mean well and, believe it or not, so do I. The problem is that these two latest incidents aren't isolated ones. Christian has had difficulties with law enforcement since his days at PVCC, and that was before the trolls really discovered him. I'm not passing judgement on Chris, that's not my place. What i am saying though is that Chris needs help - professional help, before he gets himself in real trouble. These last two incidents make that painfully obvious. He dodged a bullet with the Walmart incident. He is very lucky that Ms. Utz took pity on him. Next time he might run into an individual who isn't feeling so charitable. In short Kenneth, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I think it's time to take off the gloves. Chris is a thirty-something man, and he should be capable of handling the truth, even if that means that he may have to hear some things that seem overly critical. A little "tough love" can be a good thing.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Vivienne, there is a point where you have to draw the line. Sometimes the best thing for a stressed-out frazzled individual is to simply let him rest and let time heal the wounds.}}
{{quoteboxred|Do you know why Christian is so stressed out? I'm a little confused here because, as far as I know, he doesn't have a job or go to school. He also doesn't seem to have a lot of responsibilities, other than running the odd errand here and there and possibly household chores. It seems like he's getting plenty of rest to me. Time often heals certain wounds, but it has as yet failed to do so in Christian's case. I still think that professional counseling is his best option.}}

==Notes From His Friends==
=== Just re-watched your DVD with a friend.===
On 9 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Just rewatched your [[DVD]] with a friend. She agrees with me that you are a sweetheart and it made me really miss you. I wished you lived close so I could introduce you to her-she's married, but she would make a great friend to you. I got to thinking when you and I first met and I pulled out my folder of all the things you've sent or given me over the years- your comics, letters, cards. It all just serves to illustrate what a [[White Knight|remarkable injustice]] these [[Trolls|people]] have done to you through the years. I don't care what anyone says, [[Death threats|you]] [[Twin Falling Towers|do]] [[Homos|not]] [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan_is_scarred_by_ShecameforCWC.JPG|deserve]] [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|an]] [[Facebook#Imgur|ounce]] [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|of]] [[Chris and anger|hate]]. You're an incredible person with [[Chris and art|incredible creativity and talent]], and I hope that your ability to create has not dimmed too much. I wish [[CWCki|more people knew the real you]] instead of this [[CWCFlyingElephants|strange]] [[Death Threats|monster]] [[ED|the internet]] thinks you are. But I suppose that's how it is with celebrities of all kinds- people think they know them, but they never really do. [[Gal Pal|I love you]], and consider you one of my dearest friends and one of my most favorite people in the world. Stay strong, Christian. You have more [[Chaotic Combo|allies]] than you think.}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|I have done that a LOT for my past friends as well, including [[Megan Schroeder]]. If only SHE had realized the same ideas you have just shared, maybe she would have not seen me as a weird freak and start this whole mess against me in the first place in 2007. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}
William Elliott Waterman replied to Chris:
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, why are you demonizing Megan? I don't think she actively did anything with the intent to make others see you the way they do. Why are you harping on something from 2007?}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think if you were just grateful you have a friend who loves you, and didn't waste time thinking about the bad, you would be feeling a lot better.}}

===Let's all go to Disneyland together!===
On 13 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Dana Mahri Linnea Hiltzheimer Christian Weston Chandler hey guys let's all go to Disneyland together!}}

===I am sending you good energy===
On 24 [[June 2013]], Mary McLerran, relative of [[Anna McLerran]], posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Hi Christian. I am sending you good energy. Sorry there are so many [[Trolls|mean people]] who have hurt you. Enjoy each day and find joy in small simple things that bring you pleasure.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|Whoopee. That'll bring pretty, single, well-organized women around to make the first move on me. (:0}}

===I'm sending you love, too===
On 24 [[July 2013]], Mary McLerran, again, posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I love your hand shape on your profile pix: the hand shape means love in sign language. I'm sending you love, too. This is Anna's mom.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|What hand shape?}}
Mary then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Just under your name in the yellow shape.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Thumb, index and pinkie fingers. Look up "ILY" on google images.}}

===You're a real nice guy, Chris===
On 3 [[August 2013]], William Elliott Waterman posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I heard [[Anna]]'s voice over the phone. She told me about how far back you guys go. You're a real nice guy, Chris.}}

===William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE===
On 7 [[August 2013]], after seeing his name being mentioned several times on the CWCki, despite less to zero people caring about him, William Elliott Waterman, one of Chris's friends on Facebook (even though most of Chris's friends on Facebook are actually [[Anna McLerran]]'s friends in the first place) posts a TL;DR [[White knight|whiteknighting]] open message to the trolls, posting how he's no better than Chris (even though he had a [[job]]), calling the trolls that they're the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as Chris]], and wants the DANG, DIRTY trolls to go ahead and troll him. (You know, as if anyone has an interest in confronting or fighting him anyway)

{{quoteboxgreen|Hello, [[trolls]]. I've seen that I'm not exempt from you plastering what I say to Chris onto [[CWCki|your archives]] and [[Da Update|announcing it on your news feed]], so I'll [[Captain's Log|address you all directly]] in an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|open statement]].

You trolls get a lot of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] out of [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|the]] [[Bob Walks In|things]] Chris has done, but what you all do isn't even funny. [[CWC is Sad|It's just sad]]. You're actually dedicating [[Obesity|huge chunks]] of your daily lives [[The creepy stare|stalking]] one [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|lonely man]] on the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]. Seriously? This [[Christian Weston Chandler|<nowiki>'lolcow'</nowiki>]] was dried up years ago. [[Trolls#Chris_the_Troll|You're not going to get anything entertaining out of him any more, and you're still trying to milk him.]] It's sick. NONE OF YOU are ANY BETTER THAN HIM. It doesn't matter if you're a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] basement-dwelling [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] that [[A-Logging|hates him just because he exists]], or [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|you're just doing it for the <nowiki>'lulls'</nowiki>]]. If somehow you're [[Merried Seinor Comic|married]], [[Jerkop|have a job]], and [[China|have everything Chris wants]], [[Chris and remorse|you should feel]] even more [[It's UGH!|disgusted in yourself]] for doing it because you have some [[Fuck quest|perversion]] for [[JERKS|taking advantage]] of [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_Contest#Aftermath|someone less fortunate]] instead of having empathy and compassion for them.

I used to be like you morons, [[Mass debating|wasting my days]] [[Cakefarts|sitting on my butt]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|listening to everything]] you say about him. But I [[Metonic|grew up]]. I have a [[job]] and a life now, [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|but that still doesn't make me any better than him]]. [[White knight|I'm not even better than any of you. I pity all of you]], but there's a chance you could be better people if you all made an effort to [[Vamprosa|grow up]] and [[Trollbusters|stop stalking and cyber-bullying with no honor]]. [[Attraction sign|He's not shallow and picky like you think.]] You think you all need to go on [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|covert field missions]] and [[JenkinsJinkies|disguise yourselves]] as [[BlueSpike|girlfriends]] to even talk to him. [[28 October 2011|I never met him in person]] - [[Tomgirl|I'm not even a female]] - [[Megan Schroeder|and he friend requested me]]. All I did was [[Scale of Respect|respect him]] and [[Death threats|treat him like a HUMAN BEING]].

Having a [[Heart level|heart]] and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|humbly admitting]] that you're at the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as him]] is all it takes, but you're all too little to do that. I'm not an [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|attention]] [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|whore]], but [[15 January 2010|feel free to troll me if you care enough. I know you won't.]] [[Monthly tugboat|You all got so lazy]] that you just [[Chris_and_art#Tracing|copy and paste]] his activity without even writing your own commentary anymore.

Come and get me, losers. Spankety, spankety, spankety.}}

''Note: The final paragraph is a reference to Earthbound, where [http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Pokey_Minch Pokey Minch] says the paragraph word for word.''

===Do you feel like your winning today?!?===
On 19 [[August 2013]], one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Do you feel like your winning today?!?}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Because of good friendships, yes.}}
Another one of his new friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|That's right! WINNING!!!}}

===Fantastic Gift In The Mail Today===
On 21 [[August 2013]], another one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Thank you to Christian Weston Chandler for the fantastic gift in the mail today ! Very Cool !}}

===Got your tunes!===
On 22 [[August 2013]], his new friend in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|We both got your tunes! Badass!}}

===14,386,443 out of a possible 10===
On 3 [[September 2013]], Chris whines to one of his friends about his [[stress]].

{{quoteboxred|Stress level: 14,386,443 out of a possible 10. :(}}
{{quotebox|I hear that. I have a lot of stress in my life. If not the constant haunting of the [[Trolls]]/Cyber-Bullies, all of the individual mistakes I had made in the past greater than a decade (definitely within the recent six years), bad people being awful to me..., then the in person loneliness, the great shyness in Public, my freaking, accursed [[Autism]]...; they stress my [[Obesity|blood pressure]] up, make me feel furious and angry, then I feel weak and faint.

<nowiki>*ugh.*</nowiki>}}

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! Share
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! Date
|-
|Crackle
|https://www.facebook.com/crackle
|24 July 2013
|-
|Wanna win a 4K TV or a PS4?
|http://bit.ly/futuregear
|24 July 2013
|-
|LEGO® Friends Heartlake High -- 15 second spot
|http://lego.thismoment.com/v4/api/facebook/get_facebook_share_page.json?fbwall_video_sharing=0&content_id=35914&tab_id=62&page_id=16
|5 August 2013
|-
|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (BluRay/DVD/Digital) [Blue-ray]
|http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPTUNBK/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_ILTasb000GPMC
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==YouTube related==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Video
! Date
|-
|I added a video to a @YouTube playlist http://t.co/Hdf2sRTLrX Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|12 March 2013
|-
|PLEASE make it so that ALL DSi FlipNotes Saved on the SD memory card will be viewable, (@YouTube http://t.co/j9v8qMTIX6)
|Nintendo Direct Mini -- 3.13.2013
|13 March 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/zTOVtWBwax Siri The Comedian?
|Siri The Comedian?
|23 May 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/mANkxGomF8 Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|4 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/imrwB8zmPj My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|13 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/cE8diaEBeT Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|13 June 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|2 July 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|3 July 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/e3IAiegija My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie HD
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie (HD)
|7 July 2013
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler shared a link.
|Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)
|22 July 2013
|-
|My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.
|MLP - Equestria Girls - Twilight montage of embarrassing
|7 August 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==Toro's Friend Network==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|Chris Toro's Friend Network is linked with Facebook.
|4 June 2013
|-
|Has made 1 friend. Chris, it's nice to meet you. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Abandoned Station is Mystery Land", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Has made 10 friends. Nya. Chris Thanks. Nyaa.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Toro's Friend Network Park", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Beach with a Stranded Ship", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Has made 20 friends. Nya. I knew Chris could do it. Nyaa.
|7 June 2013
|-
|Has made 30 friends. Nya. I love Chris. Nyaa.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Bonjour~I'm Pierre~Woof. Congratulations on clearing floor 20 of this dungeon. Woof!
|11 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Mysterious Temple", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Has made 40 friends. Nya. Chris is awesome. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Oh! I'm Ricky~Quark! Congratulations on clearing floor 30 of this dungeon. Ribbit!
|12 June 2013
|-
|Sorry to interrupt. I'm R. Suzuki. Congratulations on clearing floor 40 of this dungeon.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Has made 50 friends. Nya. Chris is so popular. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|}

==#mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pzFCf8NenG
|11 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/02CHyoAx3M
|12 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/wghhe9kxXX
|13 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pRlqbd7zp6
|14 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/GiglbMxxwK
|15 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/jOAcUKh7UB
|16 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/EZGOrEbNf9
|30 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/OgqJxu6Mln
|2 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/hsj9IavWaD
|3 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/1TVK2YcIgZ
|3 July 2013
|-
|}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Imgur==
{{main|2013 Imgur Leak}}
On 26th May, 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ uploaded them on Imgur.] The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 ''(as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was)'' but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted [[Michael Snyder|several]] [[Megan Schroeder|people]] [[Death threats|dead]], and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill [[Mimms]]' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was ''[[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|Chris himself.]]''

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens....
File:Facebook2.jpg|....and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris whining about ''Equestria Girls''.
File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg|The iDea Book Case
File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg|
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|U Gotta Believe!
File:TheLancers.jpg|Go Lancers!
File:MarkCuban.png|A photo of [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] Chris uploaded on 15 [[August 2013]]. Which does not contribute to the riddle so far.
File:LemonPoundCake.jpg|''Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.''
File:UniversityOfDelaware.jpg|''Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.''
File:TwisterBluray.jpg|''Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.''
File:RishikeshIndianWoman.jpg|''Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.''
File:Sphinx.jpg|''Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.''
File:GreatWallOfChina.png|''Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.''
File:BR6NNHFCMAA0q4O.jpg large.jpg|''Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.''
File:BR6NQc6CIAAOoGJ.jpg large.jpg|''Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.''
File:BR6VLK2CIAE-j6m.jpg large.jpg|Chris's absurd riddle.
File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|
File:LadyManajerk.PNG|
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
*[http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur Account]
*[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0w4RktXQWNuYUU/edit?usp=sharing Backup of the Imgur album] (Last updated 6/29/13 tell me on my [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/User_talk:Pyromcr talk page] if more has been added to the Imgur album and this backup is no longer up to date.)
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

The GAMe PLACe

2013-09-09T04:15:21Z

Wildsonichu: /* Google Maps reviews */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]
{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}
'''The GAMe PLACe''' (currently named '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''') is a comic book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years,<ref>In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.</ref> up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosts the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|''Pokémon TCG'' League]], where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris must keep away from Michael Snyder at all times, which by extension means he is permanently banned from the store by law.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]] was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]

In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his [[Chris and fashion|usual colorful clown shirts]] and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's [[Homos|homophobia]] occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[homos|gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}
Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing female characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert.]]

In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[Niggo|black]] kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[Jerkops]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

In February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|third part of his Autism Tutorial]], in which he shared that he still feels bitter over his banning. In his words: "And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... burns to the ground! Along with Michael Snyder!"

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike.]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris.]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually harmed.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Mike was unmoved.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]].

==The Charlottesville Incident==
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]
On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Crime story==
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as recent photographs uploaded [[CWCki|on-site]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.

Since the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a "cyber-bullies hang-out" and encouraging people to "stay far away". He also stated that the PLACe will go down by "[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs" suggesting he has learnt absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.

===Google Maps reviews===

Recently, trolls had discovered a scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by a "[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]". What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.

{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus "hit and run" charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else."'''|"Robert", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that 'Robert' was actually Chris. The mere fact that his "friend" has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also, that the words, "WIDOWED MOTHER" is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and Writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and Anger|angry]].

A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as "Ben McMullan." The review read:

{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons."'''|"Ben McMullan", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia, North Carolina, and Maryland (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.

Another review from "Alexander Deck" also appeared, and looks very similiar to "[[Chris|Robert's]]" review:
{{quote|"This HORRIBLE place kicked my friend Chris out, and for that I can NEVER FORGIVE THEM."'''|"Alexander Deck", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=117832957550460545229&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Another review from "Henry Bradston" is possibly by Chris:
{{Quote|This store has a wonderful and expansive selection of [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] [[cards]], which is what attracted me to the store in the first place. Then my cousin mentioned he was banned from the store a few years ago, and that made me realize how nasty the employees are. Upon a visit I took to the "Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys" last month, I had the pleasure of meeting who I think was the supervisor, or possibly the owner(...?) His name was [[Mike]] and he seemed like a very nice man. After only browsing booster packs for five minutes, I saw him start screaming at another patron. I don't recall what the argument was about, but it only lasted a couple minutes. The little kid (who couldn't have been older than ten) ran out of the store, crying. This incident alone coupled with the fact my cousin (who already has [[Autism|troubles]] of his own) was banned for what he says was "no good reason" has changed my perception of the store entirely. I would advise anyone who is interested in comics, TCGs, or [[toy]] collecting to NOT visit this store. And if I could say something to that fat sixty-something year old, I'd tell him to change his business tactics of scaring kids away cause it will only hurt business. ALSO, it turns out the OWNER is a registered sex offender.|"Henry Bradston"<ref>[https://plus.google.com/100281781145752145855/reviews]</ref>}}

==Chris's parents and The GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted shit tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he won't play in the future, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

==Acceptance?==

On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It remains to be seen whether he will follow through. However, it could be a ''geinus'' plan to lull [[Michael Snyder]] into a false sense of security.

The [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur leak]] revealed [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png a post] that would elaborate more on this development. Amusingly, Chris believed that everyone at the PLace masterminded the trolling that continues to haunt him to this day, particularly [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]], who he deemed as the "Prime Trolls". He also called for the PLace itself to be destroyed, if only for the reason of ousting a manchild that acted like a jackass in the store.

Either way, it seems that given [[28 October 2011|the consequences of his actions]] and his [[Autism|utter refusal to let go of childish things]], it seems very unlikely that Chris will forgive or forget the Game PLace. It does, however, raise a valid question concerning Chris: What will he do once his probation ends?

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.cvilleshobbiesgamesandtoys.com/ Current website]
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Old website]

{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

The GAMe PLACe

2013-09-09T04:12:41Z

Wildsonichu: /* Google Maps reviews */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]
{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}
'''The GAMe PLACe''' (currently named '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''') is a comic book, game, card, toy, and hobby shop in [[Charlottesville]]. For several years,<ref>In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.</ref> up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' [[card games]]. The shop hosts the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|''Pokémon TCG'' League]], where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of scaring off customers and being a confrontational douche, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 28 [[August 2008]]. Since then, Chris has attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris must keep away from Michael Snyder at all times, which by extension means he is permanently banned from the store by law.

==People of note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

[[Michael Snyder]] was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life nemeses when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's attitude at The GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|[[Mimms]]}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]

In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his [[Chris and fashion|usual colorful clown shirts]] and sporting the [[Sonichu medallion]]), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's [[Homos|homophobia]] occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[homos|gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for obvious reasons, Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks — his literal mind took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the [[card games|TCG]] gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}
Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|resume]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing female characters such as Cassandra from the ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' series and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because [[Mimms]] was trying to be covert.]]

In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris gets the boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[Niggo|black]] kid. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[Jerkops]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his being kicked out of the store would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|destruction of her dignity]], anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

In February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|third part of his Autism Tutorial]], in which he shared that he still feels bitter over his banning. In his words: "And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... burns to the ground! Along with Michael Snyder!"

==Unbanning attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris has repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial one-month ban. In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran.

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike.]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris.]</ref> yelled "JEW!" at him, and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually harmed.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's easy to see why it was pulled.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Mike was unmoved.

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it is clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe are almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]].

==The Charlottesville Incident==
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]
On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Crime story==
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as recent photographs uploaded [[CWCki|on-site]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.

Since the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a "cyber-bullies hang-out" and encouraging people to "stay far away". He also stated that the PLACe will go down by "[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs" suggesting he has learnt absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.

===Google Maps reviews===

Recently, trolls had discovered a scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by a "[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]". What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.

{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus "hit and run" charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else."'''|"Robert", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that 'Robert' was actually Chris. The mere fact that his "friend" has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also, that the words, "WIDOWED MOTHER" is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and Writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and Anger|angry]].

A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as "Ben McMullan." The review read:

{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons."'''|"Ben McMullan", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia, North Carolina, and Maryland (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.

Another review from "Alexander Deck" also appeared, and looks very similiar to "[[Chris|Robert's]]" review:
{{quote|This HORRIBLE place kicked my friend Chris out, and for that I can NEVER FORGIVE THEM.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=117832957550460545229&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Another review from "Henry Bradston" is possibly by Chris:
{{Quote|This store has a wonderful and expansive selection of [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] [[cards]], which is what attracted me to the store in the first place. Then my cousin mentioned he was banned from the store a few years ago, and that made me realize how nasty the employees are. Upon a visit I took to the "Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys" last month, I had the pleasure of meeting who I think was the supervisor, or possibly the owner(...?) His name was [[Mike]] and he seemed like a very nice man. After only browsing booster packs for five minutes, I saw him start screaming at another patron. I don't recall what the argument was about, but it only lasted a couple minutes. The little kid (who couldn't have been older than ten) ran out of the store, crying. This incident alone coupled with the fact my cousin (who already has [[Autism|troubles]] of his own) was banned for what he says was "no good reason" has changed my perception of the store entirely. I would advise anyone who is interested in comics, TCGs, or [[toy]] collecting to NOT visit this store. And if I could say something to that fat sixty-something year old, I'd tell him to change his business tactics of scaring kids away cause it will only hurt business. ALSO, it turns out the OWNER is a registered sex offender.|"Henry Bradston"<ref>[https://plus.google.com/100281781145752145855/reviews]</ref>}}

==Chris's parents and The GAMe PLACe==
A [[Matthew Noble call|phone conversation]] recorded in early [[August 2010]] reveals many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted shit tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he won't play in the future, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

==Acceptance?==

On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It remains to be seen whether he will follow through. However, it could be a ''geinus'' plan to lull [[Michael Snyder]] into a false sense of security.

The [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur leak]] revealed [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png a post] that would elaborate more on this development. Amusingly, Chris believed that everyone at the PLace masterminded the trolling that continues to haunt him to this day, particularly [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]], who he deemed as the "Prime Trolls". He also called for the PLace itself to be destroyed, if only for the reason of ousting a manchild that acted like a jackass in the store.

Either way, it seems that given [[28 October 2011|the consequences of his actions]] and his [[Autism|utter refusal to let go of childish things]], it seems very unlikely that Chris will forgive or forget the Game PLace. It does, however, raise a valid question concerning Chris: What will he do once his probation ends?

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.cvilleshobbiesgamesandtoys.com/ Current website]
*[http://www.thegameplace.com/ Old website]

{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Chris and the law

2013-09-08T23:38:31Z

Wildsonichu: /* 2013 */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules established by a society to protect its members and ensure the orderly function of society. Their observance is usually maintained by [[Jerkop|law enforcement]] and penalties are placed on those who disobey the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his endless quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of [[2008]], and nothing has sunken into that [[Hello, Juffalo|clown head]] of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=6odVsyr3I40]</ref>}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Brutality- [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Godmode!Chris]]'s solution to Law Enforcement.]]

Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is uneasy at best, and dangerously naïve at worst . He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll [[Ivy Q&A|threatening violence]] against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the Internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as [[Sign Destruction Video|threatening to murder]] [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page,<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</ref> and has attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads. Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] should be enforced ''in real life.''<ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!]]</ref>

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "NOOOOOOO!" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.<ref>[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"]]</ref>

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the speed limit...while on his way to confront [[Liquid Chris]] and commit assault with a [[Megatron Pistol|deadly weapon]] upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In a [[May 2010]] video, Chris states that he believes a man who brutally beat his girlfriend to death with his bare hands deserved twenty years in prison for his crimes, which is just twice the penalty he wants for [[Tobacky|smoking]].<ref>[[05142010]]</ref>

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkops|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, and [[lie]] to people who are simply doing their jobs. And, of course, as any rational person (i.e. anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

The correspondence with Jackie revealed that in the trial on the [[Target]] incident, Chris thought that his work with the [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris_the_TCG_gamer|Pokémon TCG League]] let him off the hook.<ref>[[Jackie e-mails Part 2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place]]</ref> In reality, the court probably acquitted him either on a technicality or insufficient evidence. Chris probably mentioned the volunteer work because he believed a person's merits, no matter how unrelated, would automatically make one innocent of all charges. It is also telling that he recounted the charge as "Soliciting", whereas the actual charge was "Disorderly Conduct"; he feels that he was only persecuted because of his [[Love Quest]] efforts, and not because he was tard raging.

==Legal troubles==

===2004===
On 11 September [[2004]], Chris was detained at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] for loitering, and continually arguing with the staff over a number of months. The incident is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. Chris was banned from returning to the mall on his own and without his parents' company. However, it appears that this ban was lifted or ignored soon afterward.

===2005===
On 20 July [[2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct">[[:File:20050720-GC05009339-00.png|Disorderly conduct charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref> and trespassing<ref name="2005 Trespassing">[[:File:20050720-GC05009340-00.png|Trespassing charge, 20 July 2005]]</ref> at Target, as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 7]] and [[Sub-Episode 8]]. After two hearings,<ref name="2005 Disorderly Conduct" /><ref name="2005 Trespassing" /> prosecutors chose to drop the case and Chris was not punished.

Five days later, Chris caused an auto accident when he followed another car too closely and rear-ended it. This went to court on 12 September 2005.<ref name="2005 Following Too Close">[[:File:20050728-GT05011195-00.png|Following too close, 28 July 2005]]</ref> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in court costs.

===2010===
Chris's various run-ins at [[The GAMe PLACe]] have resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times. At least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he trespassed on the property, though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris made yet another pilgrimage to The GAMe PLACe. Chris was armed with his camera, and while Mike was concerned that Chris wanted pictures of his daughter for [[Mass Debating|disturbing reasons]], Chris maintains that he merely wanted a picture of Mike [[Death threats|for use as a dartboard]]. Still disturbing, but in entirely different ways. Chris was caught in the parking lot despite trying to run away, and was questioned by the police, who made him delete the pictures he had taken, and basically told him to quit his shit. Chris made his [[6 June 2010]] video in response to these events.

===2011===
In a [[May 2011]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] post, Chris said that he has begun to use the ladies' restroom at his local mall while dressed in drag; he recounts an incident in which ''"a woman complains and tattles on me, and a [[JERK|stereotypical Brute male]] shouts me out. I felt embarassed. When in skirt, I am still gonna go to the Ladies, because there is no goin' back for me."'' This supposed brute male may or may not have been with [[Jerkop|mall security]].

In his [[Calling Out|three new videos]] posted after 8-month-long hiatus from YouTube he tries to do something which some viewers of ''The Chandler Show'' believe to be blackmail. Chris admitted it by typing word ''blackmail'' in tags for last of them; however trolls hoping for a lawsuit [[saga]] shouldn't get their hopes up, because it's unlikely any of the [[trolls]] threatened by it would want to report him, given that they've all been trying to get him back onto the internet for months and wouldn't want to drive him off again. Not to mention Chris probably doesn't have anything on them at all. Note that under Virginia law, his demands are more likely to be considered extortion (still a class five felony) rather than blackmail.

In the same video, Chris also point blank accused [[Michael Snyder]] of molesting his own daughter, all while admitting that he doesn't have any concrete proof of his allegation. Given how prone he is to accusing others of slandering him (aka pointing out his bad qualities that are extremely evident to everyone but Chris), Chris's accusations are very hypocritical. If Michael Snyder did want to sue Chris in civil court, he would indeed have a case against him as Chris's allegations are textbook defamation. However, it's questionable what Snyder would win in litigation, aside from a [[PS3]], numerous children's [[toys]] and the five or so dollars in Chris's bank account.

On [[28 October 2011]], Chris ended up in the worst possible scenario, netting a felony charge and two misdemeanors in what appears to be a ''third'' attempt to enter the GAMe PLACe. It appears that the Virginia justice system had finally run out of patience.

As a direct result of his October 28 run in with Michael Snyder, Chris had found both himself and his [[barb|mother]] on the receiving end of a civil suit. Having been sentenced to community service and put under a probation, and being charged with paying Snyder's medical bills, this may very well have been the first time that he has felt ramifications for his accusations and threats. However, it is much more likely that he simply [[Chris and his ego|doesn't care]], or still feels as if he were the [[Kick the autistic|real victim]] in all of this.

===2012===

[[File:Card.PNG|thumb]]

On 4 [[February 2012]], it was revealed on his [[Facebook]] that Chris no longer has respect for ''any'' sort of law enforcement after the events of [[28 October 2011]], officially deeming everyone who upholds the law a [[Jerkop]]. At the same time, he revealed another encounter with the boys in blue that day. As he attempted to pass out fliers while at the mall, encouraging others to stay away from the Game Place, two Jerkops (or as Chris puts it, "a Jerkop and an accomplice") approach him. Despite the officers simply wanting to talk to him and letting him know he wasn't in any trouble, Chris's paranoia kicked in and he ran. While the story Chris gives seem to hint that the officers just wanted to tell him to knock off the distribution of fliers, Chris believed otherwise, citing that one of them called out his name and making him think they wanted to post another encounter with him on the Internet. He escaped by diving into a Mitsubishi, most likely replacing the dying piece of scrap that is [[Son-Chu]], and driving off.

On the 12th April, Chris [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|announced the loss of his virginity]], giving off strong hints that he had slept with a hired prostitute. He all but [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|confirmed this]] on the 1st May, when he said that he 'found her on the backpage', a website that solicits prostitutes. In the state of Virginia, this constitutes a Class 1 Misdeameanor and is therefore illegal. It is unknown whether or not Chris is aware of this, but it's very likely that if he is, [[Fuck Quest|he simply doesn't care.]]

On 28 [[April 2012]], Chris revealed another incident in the mall. Prior to his Facebook note on 30 [[March 2012]], Chris got into a shouting match with a troll on his cell phone at the mall. The shouting did not go unnoticed, and Chris ran for it once security was called in. On 25 April, Chris received a ban from the mall,<ref>[[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D]]</ref> though it is unknown if it was for that incident or an incident that happened between those two dates.

On 10 [[July 2012]], Chris was arraigned in court for the [[28 October 2011]] incident. After calling Snyder a "thieving liar" in the courtroom, Chris was sentenced to community service and is under a one-year probation. If he does not comply, he will go to jail. He was also ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills.

===2013===

In September 2013, Chris committed an act of vandalism (an arrestable offense) by defacing an [[HEX-BOX|XBox One]] display at a [[Wal-Mart]], but got off easy by merely just being banned from the store. Given his furious reaction to this and his track record with a [[Michael Snyder|certain store owner]] who also did the same, it remains to be seen if Chris would follow up on his threat to have his revenge. Also, much like his tantrum at the [[Fashion Square Mall]] in 2005, Chris was also confronted by a [[jerkop]] at a local restaurant after scratching a woman's car with his, and screaming out loud in public. Chris claimed he was [[Chris_and_religion|cursing God for all his misfortune recently]].

==Chris's parents and law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the [[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Cub Scouts]] after an [[autism|unknown incident]], his parents attempted to sue the [[Wikipedia:Boy Scouts of America|Boy Scouts of America]] for [[Kick the autistic|discrimination]].<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref>
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.<ref>[http://208.210.219.132/stars/mainmenu.jsp;jsessionid=0000XHMY2MEVFIV0HN4N1CX0EQA:ulnfn1uq], case 0438-94-2</ref>
* When [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] took a picture of Chris and uploaded it to the Internet, Chris's parents threatened them with legal action (but never followed through).
* When [[Snorlax]] thought she had indigestion (actually [[Wikipedia:colitis|colitis]]), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* Chris inherited his love of running from problems - when his parents had their absurd case against Greene County used against them, their first reaction was to run to another county.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>
* When [[Asperchu|Alec]] called the Chandler household posing as [[GAMe PLACe]] employee Matthew Noble, they claimed that taking pictures of somebody without their knowledge or consent was "Not illegal." It is ironic, given that they threatened to sue Mimms and Lucas for exactly the same thing.<ref name="Matthew Noble call">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>
* During that same call, Bob seems to completely disregard the concept that an individual can be barred from private property, saying, "it's a business place," as though that has any more bearing on the law and how it affects his son than, say, the color of the store's walls.<ref name="Matthew Noble call"/>
* On [[28 October 2011]], Barb was arrested for not only fleeing the scene of an accident, but also felony assault on a police officer, a crime that a remotely sensible person would never commit due to the serious consequences attached to it (mandatory minimum of six months' imprisonment on conviction); however, the recent death of her husband, her age, ill-health and dependent son probably helped earn her clemency.
*On 10 [[July 2012]], Barb was arraigned in court for her participation in the 28 October 2011 incident. She was sentenced to community service and is under a two year probation.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[troll|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in the first and only of his supposed series of Q&A videos.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]]</ref>

On 31 [[December 2009]], Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already [[CWC-ism|Snail-Mailed]] President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and Reality|advertisements he doesn't like illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain." This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on wikis. It also escapes Chris's mind that the President doesn't make law. He would have had a better chance if he had mailed his congressman. He of course, will never bother.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], she interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received a well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, out of the blue decides to make peace. He went to her office and left her a [[:File:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorstep.<ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]]</ref> Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure [[autistic]] logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, he's not liable.<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>

[[Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for [[Jerks|men]] to ever show their [[Reldnahc|bare chest]] (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, disregarding [[women]], [[Homos|gay men]] and boxing enthusiasts), and two he wants to [[Women's rights|force all women]] in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

Due to Chris being forced away from the Internet, Chris began to formulate a new law, the "Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing," starting with his second [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote]], [[Don'tGetTrolled!]]. What this entails is unknown, but by the sounds if it, he wishes for a law where no one can ever speak up against anyone in a negative tone, thus allowing Chris to continue to have his e-peen stroked while the trolls can't touch him. While there have been laws that punish those that lead to others being harmed via the Internet, the Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever, as it leads to a complete and utter smashing of the [[Wikipedia:Bill of Rights|Bill of Rights]], specifically [[Wikipedia:Freedom of Speech|Freedom of Speech]].

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the comic==
Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, authoritarianism. In [[CWCville]], Chris has banned a number of things in his city. [[Tobacky|Smoking]] or drinking [[alcohol]] would lead one to be either sentenced to ten years in prison or a much more lenient US$1,500 fine (although, as [[CWCville]] uses C-Quarters and W-Quarters for currency, it's not clear why fines are levied in US dollars).<ref name="Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008">[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> Indeed, importing tobacco or alcohol is the most serious crime in the city, apparently receiving a greater punishment than murder or rape.<ref name="Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008"/> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law against alcohol]] in [[June 2009]].

The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to, not to mention the fact that full legal rights for women are already established across the US, suggesting that Chris has imposed discriminating laws against women in CWCville.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing Mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "[[Dating Education]]" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight."

[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatsoever, giving the impression that Chris and his [[Pokémon]] abominations are the only thing standing between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] seems to reveal that there are three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force (distinct from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s [[jerkops]]), as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law?|[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In conversation with [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks which he uses as a "Police Force", and all his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy immunity from prosecution and are above the law.<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> If we add all this to the fact that there are no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of an insane, tyrannical dictator running it with an iron fist, and backed with super-powered goons who are free to do any atrocity with impunity. According to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] mentally scans the city perimeters for any sexual acts, and reports any [[homos|homosexual]] activity to the authorities. The participants are then "tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service."<ref>[[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck]]</ref> Apparently in CWCville, the [[Wikipedia:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution]] does not apply in matters of personal sexual choice, and neither does the [[wikipedia:Lawrence v. Texas|U.S. Supreme Court ruling]] finding sodomy laws to be unconstitutional.

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] has shown no less than four grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the [[4-cent garbage]] building, the murder of over one hundred alleged "trolls" in said destruction, breaking and entering, and destroying Internet files and property. There was no evidence to suggest that this act of mass murder was even investigated by the authorities, and the comic portrays this act of [[terrorism]] as Chris heroically defeating a gang of criminals.

Following the death of [[Simonla]], the culprits ([[Alec]], [[Mao]], [[Sean]] and [[Evan]]) are subjected to a show trial, and given no defense attorney by the state (violating the [[Wikipedia:Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Sixth Amendment]]) forcing Sean to act as their lawyer despite being [[Tobacky|high as a kite]]. There is no solid evidence presented for the murder charge, aside from the Voltorb remote (which the prosecutor never tried to prove belonged to them) and wholly unreliable "psychic evidence" extracted by Magi-Chan. When they're railroaded and found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged'' (read: murdered brutally by cartoon characters), in a gross violation of the [[Wikipedia:Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Eighth Amendment]] forbidding cruel and unusual punishment.

Demonstrating Chris's limited understanding of trials (as his knowledge of trials stems purely from television), the kangaroo court integrates both elements of civil and criminal trials. The Asperpedia Four are not only prosecuted for murder by a [[Marvey Blaziken|state attorney]], as per a criminal trial, but also charged with defamation of character, libel, and copyright infringement (as well as several charges such as "profanity to the max" that would hold no water in an actual court) by Chris and his cohorts, as per a civil trial. Surely enough, Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu are sitting in a bench marked "PLAINTIF" [sic]. That both civil and criminal charges are included in one trial not only demonstrates a poor understanding of the courtroom process, but is further proof that Chris considers "slanderous mockeries" and other torts on par with major crimes such as murder and assault. To add to the equation, one cannot be given a death sentence (or any sentence, for that matter) for being guilty in a civil trial, but in the Asperpedia Four trial civil charges are the primary reason for the death sentence. In summary, the CWCville court system is a constitutional nightmare that violates multiple articles and amendments, and has no concept of due process. One must wonder why it is allowed to exist within the borders of the U.S.

tl;dr: Any semblance of law in CWCville exists solely to further the wishes of its tyrannical (and murderous) Mayor.

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Parody]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Manajerk]]
*[[Chris and copyright]]

{{Chris and}}

Facebook

2013-09-08T08:44:35Z

Wildsonichu: /* God Trolls Chris Yet Again */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Notes From The Man Himself==

{{Incomplete}}

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===

On '''28 April 2012''', Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he [[Chris and Anger|let the trolls get to him in the mall,]] resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|idle death threats]] to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===

Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to...and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.]]

{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

=== A Christmas Gift ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 20 [[December 2012]]
I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.

http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip

Merry Christmas.}}

=== 2012 ===

{{quotebox| Friday, 21 [[December 2012]]
I have just finished watching the movie <nowiki>"2012"</nowiki> for the first time. It was as epic as I have heard in the past few years. Not only was it as good, but I feel better watching it now, compared to risking worrying about the E.O.W. a lot more if I had watched it before today. Hollywood magic did it again, and reality proved it wrong again.

Apocalypse NOT, and Thank God and Jesus this worry is finally over and done.}}

=== It's impossible for me to make someone mine ===

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 30 [[January 2013]]
"Everyone has their own life to live, and I know it's impossible for me to make someone mine." -Nana O, the anime "NANA" English dub.

Yep...
}}

=== Sad, depressed, poor, and pathetic ===

{{quotebox| Saturday, 2 [[February 2013]]

I am sad, depressed, poor and pathetic. :_(
}}

=== No trolling plans ===

In this post, Chris screencaps the CWCki Forums and remarks how its users are conspiring to troll him, despite the fact that no actual post discusses plans to troll Chris.

{{quotebox| Tuesday, 12 [[February 2013]]

"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?

[[File:No trolling plans.jpg]]
}}

=== Smiley ===

Chris finishes watching Smiley, a universally panned low-budget movie, and takes it upon himself to extrapolate an anti-trolling theme. Chris also expresses his belief that this R-rated film should be exhibited to high school students as a form of education and feels it would reduce teen suicides.

{{quotebox| Friday, 22 [[February 2013]]

Just finished watching "Smiley".
(Spoiler Alert)
I liked it, because the people behind it had a general understanding of the horrible "fad" of Trolling and getting "LULZ" that has found me to be a victim of it for five years. After the initial scare and the move-in, the talk about the "underground" of the Internet: /b/, 4chan, anonymous, and Trolling really sets up the plot well, as well as start up a spot of pent up anger. And after the final death, the majority of "Smileys" were the drunken, bored idiots who get their laughs from seriously hurting people. And come into discussion, "Anonymous"; the central hub of the Trolls.

Even though this was considered a low-budget movie, it really speaks to me, as a victim. This movie, aside from the gory parts and the "R" rating, everyone who has been trolled or are aware of them at least a little bit, should watch this movie, even to have it shown in high schools. I feel it best puts it all into perspective, and it would certainly decrease the suicide rate quite a bit.

No one has to give in for their sick entertainment.
}}

=== Open Letter to Tara Strong ===

Chris takes a moment to publicly blast [[My Little Pony]] voice actress Tara Strong for apparently contributing to the cyber-bullying epidemic.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste.

While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was.

So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling?

If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you.

Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to.

Sincerely,
Christian W.Chandler
Ruckersville, VA, USA

[[File:Mlptroll1.jpg]]
}}

One troll decided to forward this message to Tara Strong on Facebook, assuming that she'd get a kick out of it. The following day, Tara actually responded:

{{quotebox|

"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."
}}

Despite not knowing about Chris at all before reading his rant, Tara seemed to have caught on that Chris is an attention whore right from the get-go. While he had succeeded in what many trolls assumed to be an utterly ridiculous campaign ''(although one can easily argue that it was Chris's trolls who pushed the pieces into place)'', Chris' attitude has once again made him a pariah, this time with the Brony community.

=== Trolling is Abhor-able ===

Chris followed the previous letter up with a brief note expressing his well-known distaste for trolls.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

Trolling/Cyber-Bullying/Bullying are All just Abhor-able, Wrong and Degrading to us all emotionally and mentally.

[[File:Mlptroll2.jpg]]
}}

=== I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out ===

Chris responds to criticism that his open letter is ridiculous.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 27 [[February 2013]]

Yes, I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out, because Trolling IS Bullying, and I can hardly stand idly by and allow herself and Twilight to famously promote that which is just terribly wrong.
}}

=== So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact ===

Possibly in reference to helpful advice Rocky or the court-appointed counselor has given him, Chris complains about the difficulty of eye contact.

{{quotebox| Friday, 8 [[March 2013]]

So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact. :(
}}

[[Anna]] once again mindlessly agrees with Chris in a reply to his post, remarking that eye contact is like "staring into a bright light."

=== Sonichu is not dead ===

Chris remarks that Sonichu has not died, despite rumors to the contrary, and makes no promises for the return of the Sonichu comic. Interestingly enough, he claims he "was an amateur", implying that he is now professional and the quality of his work has improved. Of course, the rest of us know that this is [[Chris and art|almost certainly not the case]].

{{quotebox| Saturday, 9 [[March 2013]]

Listen up.

When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.
}}

=== Trolled on MTV ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

I have had a very good day today, the 9th, at Madicon. The best day I have had in a very long time.

Now I find a photo I was Trolled out of ending up on MTV,and on iTunes for two dollars, compared with bacon-head and plush-face. >:( }}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|What is the thing with iTunes?}}
{{quoteboxred|If you're talking about the Viva La CWC thing, it's fake. Someone is trolling you with that.}}

=== Failosophy ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

<nowiki>http://mtv.com/videos/failosophy-ep-4/1703199/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=39983&channelId=1</nowiki>}}

=== You know something that really creeps me out? ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 18 [[March 2013]]

You know something that really creeps me out? Nearly Every Autistic male, who I have seen their photos in their profiles or whatever, that I can 100% guarantee that are not copies of mine, look near Exactly as I do in the Face (with exceptions to varying eye color, glasses and hair color/style). I mean it, seriously, look up any number of autistic male headshots other than me on the Internet; it is really spooky and creepy.}}

=== I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 21 [[March 2013]]

Once again, I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD. Damn It! I am tired of being single.

Hell, I'd send out a public make-out invite to all women in C-Ville on Facebook, if I was not wise of the damn [[Trolls]], and other bad people.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox| As well as the God Damned, Badge-Abusive [[Jerkops]] and Janekops EVERYWHERE!!!!!!}}

=== I feel an oxymoronic mess ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]

Something else: I feel an oxymoronic mess. On one hand, I have mostly female friends, and I can get along good with them. On the other hand, I do not care much for my fellow males, I mostly have male enemies/adversaries, and I only can get along with them when I am obligated socially. In any case, I am 100% heterosexual.

From outside perspectives, with mostly female friends, I can be viewed as a Playa (which is more accurate), or a damn [[homo]]. This tends to repel women from me. I need a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]] from the ground up. Damn it! I am sick and tired of being single.

My brain is a constant blank; I am paranoid and super shy; what the hell should I do?}}

=== Gay Marriage ===

Oblivious to a pivotal moment in US history, Chris complains about frequent media coverage of the gay marriage Supreme Court case ''Hollingsworth v. Perry'', probably because the news is preempting his [[My Little Pony]] reruns. Chris also takes this time to express his support for lesbian marriage while blasting the "damn homosexual men", probably only because [[Women's rights|lesbians are hot]] and [[Homos|homo]] men are icky.

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]
Another thing that really [[Family Guy|Grinds My Gears]]:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!
}}

The next day, [[Anna]] called Chris out on his bigotry, showing that his behavior is even beginning to alienate his enablers:

{{quoteboxred|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays}}

On 31 March, Chris shot back with this red herring that fails to address the original issue:

{{quotebox|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?}}

In addition, another one of [[Kim Wilson|Chris' friends]] joined in on the fray, attempting to inject some insight into Chris' rambling train of thought:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh. That's weird. Y'know, the gay women are taking potential girlfriends away from you. And the gay men are [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|keeping other men from taking potential girlfriends from you]]. So, you've got it backwards.

Anyway, you know, some people might be against autistic rights you know. What if people are offended by you and say you shouldnt have a girlfriend?}}

On April 1, Chris predictably responded with this set of delusions and contradictions:

{{quotebox|Well, I do not like the majority of the [[JERKS|male population]] regardless.

The straight ones take the women away. The damn homo males not only [[Lie|tried]] to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit Troll/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and Sonichu as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.}}

In short, Chris is against gay marriage because of his trolls, also subscribing to the belief that all homosexual men are trolls hellbent on his (and [[Sonichu|Sonichu's]]) destruction. [[Chris and his ego|By making the entire argument about himself]], Chris has also conviently ignored Kim's original point of lesbians taking away the women.

On 2 April, Kim made note of Chris' non-answer:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh? But that doesn't have anything to do with the original post...

But yeah, nah, they're not actually trying to push their sexuality on you. They just know that you react to it and took advantage of that. They're almost certainly not gay and probably many of them aren't even men.

You've really got to cut down on the sexism, Chris. Women find it unattractive.}}

=== Game Place ===

Chris, ''five years after his ban'' and a half-year after its legal enforcement, still obsesses about [[Michael Snyder]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|Thursday, 4 [[April 2013]]
I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace.

It Truly Is the Breeding and Meeting PLace for [[Trolls]] and Cyber-Bullies. Long before October, 2007, there were very few people who would have anything on me personally, worldwide, because those people only existed Locally to me and with Constant in person communication with me. Those people only existed at the PLace. And the very first person who turned Troll against me is none other than [[Megan Schroeder]]. She conscripted [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], Mimms and everyone else against me.

And when my family as I started getting close with identifying them as our perpetrators and The Prime Trolls, Snyder was looking for a reason to ban me, and so he did.

Megan Schroeder is the Prime Queen of the Trolls; the PLace IS truly a Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding an Meeting Place, and I never, forever want anything to do with it. The PLace should definitely be destroyed and shut down for good.

And I want to exact my fullest revenge and divine retribution with Megan Schroeder. SHE should be jailed and beaten up, that vile, wicked, traitorous bitch.}}

=== Kim brought her into my life ===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 [[April 2013]]

Yep, doing this for a new woman in my life; Kim brought her into my life.}}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Good people don't make you do things for their own enjoyment.}}

=== Lucy ===

{{quotebox|Monday, 22 [[April 2013]]
I got my cat, Lucy, resting on my shrinking mound.

[[File:LucyFacebook.png]]}}

=== Sega Mascot Contest ===

Chris complains about Sega hosting a mascot contest, believing from the linked article that they are trying to replace [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 [[April 2013]]

Okay, now THIS pisses me off. I am not one who is to be blamed here; there are a lot of sick people who perverted Sonic's good name. Especially those who made him out as a homo, when he is not. Hell! He had a thing going on for a long time with Sally Acorn in his comic book series.

SEGA, Sonic was praised a lot better than Mario, because Sonic has more attitude, is stronger and faster, and he talks in his games more than the catchphrase-spewing plumber did.

And in any case, Sonic has replaced my hero before him, the American Rabbit. Shelving Sonic away will be the worst mistake SEGA will ever make since they stopped their console series at the Dreamcast.

Sonic For SEGA RAW!!! And Forever!!!

http://www.p4rgaming.com/sega-seeking-new-mascot-since-sonic-has-been-ruined-by-fans/}}

Chris then added a reply to his own Facebook post, [[Chris and his Ego|which he subsequently "liked".]]

{{quotebox|
Besides which, no matter what any new mascot comes around, ALL of the sick, bored People and Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies will leech the good name away from him or her or it anyway.

The better option is to stay strong with Sonic.
}}

=== "The Trolls Who Cry Woman" ===

Chris posts a rather ''insensitive'' musing, comparing online socialization to teenage pregnancy, starring in porn and '''being raped.''' He also goes on to rant about "being set up" ''(most likely referring to his date with Emily and the Pickle Man.)''

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 April 2013 at 11:00

Here's a musing:

Heard of "The Boy Who Cries Wolf"? Today's Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies who pretend to be the opposite gender to everyone they talk to online, making socializing online the worst mistake of anyone's life since teenage pregnancy, starring in a porn, or rape. And when a date is set up, they always stand you up, or if they do make it, they have someone else hiding nearby with a camera to record the whole thing to transform into something dark, evil and sick to be used against you to smear your name.

Today's version of the classic should be called, "The Online Trolls Who Cry Woman".

}}

=== Headache ===

Chris makes another "musing":

{{quotebox|Monday, 7 [[May 2013]] at 12:08
Musing:

A headache is equal to the amount of thought put into making it.

}}

...your guess is as good as ours as to what that even means.

===THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!===

Chris-Chan gives his thoughts on the upcoming movie, ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'':

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013 at 8:46
THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning The Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; 

they're inviting High School [[Pedofork|Pedofile]] Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the 
horse enthusiasts were not enough. 

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do their best to replicate the G1 
Pilot with Megan and her family. 

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "[[Transformers]] Prime" going "Beast Wars". 
And I do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "[[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]", "MTV's Undressed", 
"O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". 

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My 
Little Pony Tales". 

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their 
Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2! 

Christian Weston Chandler, 
Ruckersville, VA, USA 
May 14, 2013 
}}

Interestingly, Chris calls Lauren Faust and Tara Strong "out of their minds". Apparently, Chris didn't hear the news that Lauren Faust stepped down and no longer works on the show, and none of this was her decision, and that Tara Strong only does the voices.

Four minutes later Chris posted the following response to his note:

{{quotebox|SOMEBODY, PLEASE PULL THE PLUG ON THIS THING NOW!!!}}

[http://i.imgur.com/kABCrhy.png However, almost a month later, Chris liked the video "My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2" on YouTube.]

===My iPod fell out of my pouch===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013
My iPod fell out of my pouch; screen cracked..Still functions. Now backing it up to upgrade to 5th Generation.

Considering self-repair on old iPod from online instructions after format of old iPod. Also, a dual iOS device wallet-style holder made from duct tape (based from folding calculator cover).}}

===A cold coming on===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 16 May 2013
Ugh...

I think I'm feeling a cold coming on. I started my day yesterday with a sore throat. Now, my nose is beginning to feel eww and bleah. And I am having trouble falling asleep.}}

===A cold again===

{{quotebox|Unknown
Yes, I've caught a cold again. It'll run its course and be gone in less than a week. I've tried Cepacol lozenge; it works very good at quelling the sore throat and the pain from the running in my nose to throat link.}}

A troll responded:
{{quoteboxgreen|I had a cold two weeks ago, for the first time in years. I didn't like having my healthy streak quelled, but when I got over it I was suddenly much more awake and alert all day every day this week than I have been since I started working.}}

===Tomb Raider===

{{quotebox|Unknown
I have just finished the new Tomb Raider on hard difficulty. I got all of the treasures and documents. Fell short on fully upgrading the rifle by over 300 Salvage. Got 61% Trophies.}}
{{quotebox|The story was well put.}}

===The timing is ironic to me===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

I really liked this article in the Washington Post on the 18th, <nowiki>"Beauty of the BUST"</nowiki>.

The timing of this article is ironic to me, since shortly before, I had broken my 4th Gen iPod Touch.

<nowiki>**Spoiler Alert**</nowiki>

Today's Teens and College Students find pride in a cracked Pod or Phone; it gives them Street Cred. So much personal information is inputed into a Pod/Phone; a crack on its face is equivalent to a scar on your face. It is today's ripped jeans, unwashed hair, unshaven face, etc. Totally crazy.

"Enjoy the finger cuts", says co-owner of CrackedMacScreen Repair. Unless you've applied a Screen Protector like I did. Reduced that risk.

Author of the book, get this, "The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future", also comments on the psychology behind this trend/fad.

This is so stupid, it is really funny.

[[File:Cracked1.jpg]]
[[File:Cracked2.jpg]]}}

===The [[iDea Book Case]]===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

<nowiki>"Necessity is the mother of Invention"</nowiki>. I am glad I crafted the idea for my [[iDea Book Case]] (photos taken with New iPod Touch 5th Gen) out of duct tape. The front and back covers are lined with bubble wrap, the inner spine loop can hold as thick as a charging cable, or most pens, there are holes for the cameras to see through very well, and the corner holders are very successful in holding most iOS Pod/Phone devices. And there is also the Velcro clasp.

iPhone (8 Gig) for calls, business and Internet; iPod (32 Gig) for entertainment with videos, music and all. I keep it safe with the lanyard strap and tucked in my bosom.

[[File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg]]}}

[[Anna McLerran]] then replied:
{{quoteboxred|wow, really well done! i'm impressed :)}}

===Beat-up cellphones with cracked screens are point of pride for some young people===

{{quotebox|Monday, 20 May 2013

You can read the really comedic story for yourself on washingtonpost.com.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/beat-up-cellphones-with-cracked-screens-are-point-of-pride-for-some-young-people/2013/05/17/0334ebe0-be36-11e2-89c9-3be8095fe767_story.html}}

===Tired of this cold virus===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Siri is a great conversationalist. :) (reference my iPod 5th Gen).

But damn, I am lonely, bored and tired. Tired of this cold virus too.

At least I have something that actually will listen and put up with me there. Not totally a substitute for my future [[Sweetheart]].}}

===This cold is really weighing me down===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Ugh... This cold is really weighing me down.}}

William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Lonely, bored and lame===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 23 May 2013

Well I have recovered from my cold, but right now I am feeling really lonely and bored. And not to mention feeling really lame.}}

===Estate ads===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

I know this may sound like a stupid idea, but I am thinking about getting one of those things to put in the ground to put real estate ads in, and putting in advertisements about myself you know for girlfriend. Obviously I am not going to do what. But that shows you how lonely and desperate I am. This thing would be placed literally in front of my house.}}

===Meh...===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

Meh... <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

===Hey! Trolling stupids!===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 25 May 2013

Hey! [[Trolls|Trolling stupids]]! I might be lonely but I would never ever be friends or even associate with your kind who has been abusing me and making me feel worse about life and people and everything for the past greater than five years!!!}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|(Let's see those [[trolls]] get their hands on this private message)}}
{{quotebox|http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ

~>:(}}

===I am not your fucking bitch!!!===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 26 May 2013

You damn bunch of fools and idiots just keep on keeping on for more incriminating information and shit about me to make yourself feel superior. I am not your fucking bitch!!! All I want is peace of mind and all of you polls continued to stand in my way! And all I can feel about your degrading, offensive language and shit, get the best illustrated but Anais here. If you really fucking care about me and you want to do something for me; you can just take your [[CWCki|Cwcki]] and all your [[CWCki Forums|forums]] and all your talk and just everything about me and just leave the damn [[Internet]], And leave me and my life and my family alone in peace!

[[File:ChrisGumball.jpg]]}}

===And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 27 May 2013

...And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...

Now, who wants to watch the U.S. series of "The Office"? (I have never watched the show)

[[File:ChrisChanTheOffice.png]]}}

===U Gotta Believe!===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 29 May 2013

U Gotta Believe!

[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg]]}}

===I have had more freedom when my father was alive===

Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|about how he has to take time out of his day]] to "serve and protect" [[Barb|his mother]]. Note how, in typical Chris fashion, he aims the blamethrower right at Michael Snyder for his troubles, ignoring the fact that the events of [[28 October 2011]] was his ''own'' fault and would not have happened had he stayed away like he should have.

{{quotebox|Friday, 30 May 2013
Good grief! I started playing resident evil revelations on [[PS3|PlayStation three]] in front of my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and she had to be grossed out about it even when I'm scanning. And she even watch me play [[God of War|God of war Ascension]] as if she's not as gross out from the bloodshed from back game? And she goes on to complain to me about how it would affect my mind. I mean I've played this game before on my [[3DS]]; The beneficial part now is that I can earn the trophies.

My mother has really been getting on my nerves! I really need my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] so that I can get away from here now and then; and I cannot even go downtown now because it wastes so much gas and gas is so costly! And make guys on my mother's concern for gas cost that is one reason why I have been on my sabbatical from my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].

I have had more freedom when my [[Bob Chandler|father]] was alive and I end up losing it when he [[Chris_and_death#Robert_Franklin_Chandler_Jr._.281927-2011.29|passed away]] because now I got to serve my mother and protect her and everything! And I can blame that sonofabitch [[Michael Snyder]] for taking an wasting the money that my mom and I had soon gotten from my father's passing because he had to go send us to court for all the goddamn shit of his! Michael Snyder is a bastard to me and my mother for taking us to court he essentially stole a lot of money from us indirectly!
}}

===Trolls got my fresh post!===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 30 May 2013

Damn it! Trolls got my fresh post! Removed the prime suspect; will monitor,}}

Anna then replied,

{{quoteboxred|I'd take a closer look at the people on your friends list who you don't know in real life.}}

===I am so lonely===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 2 June 2013
Damn! I am so lonely. I do not know whether to wait for my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] or to move on because the weights is driving me crazy among the loneliness of other things; [[stress]] of my life! Hell, first woman to Ask me out, in person I'd probably say yes.

<nowiki> *sigh* *groan* *grunt*</nowiki>
}}

===I am feeling very lonely again===

{{quotebox|Monday, 17 June 2013
I am feeling very lonely again. I am unable to think of a way to find my female [[sweetheart]] currently, where I won't end up risking trouble with the goddamned [[Jerkops]] within any "police office" or "legal office" from any and all of the shit against me on the [[internet]] that is easily Googled. And I am still publcally invisible to Everywoman, because they are all already taken by some stupid, [[jerk]] male, or are otherwise freaking busy with their own internal lives in this digital age where in person...}}

Chris later posted:

{{quotebox|...socializing has become obsolete. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

William Elliott Waterman replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Too many Trolls and Bad People in the world===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 22 June 2013
If you "[[Fans]]" REALLY want to know why you're like lowly to me. There are too many [[Trolls]] and Bad People in the world hiding behind the [[Internet]] constantly; I am unable to tell the difference. I have lost my youth and sunny energy within the past decade. I have become bitter from a miserable life and an irreversible Internet reputation, thanks to you bad people. End of story.}}

===A skunk===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 27 June 2013
A skunk; you don't need to kill it to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|stink things up]]; it pees anywhere it wants.}}
''Note that skunk spray is not urine, but a mixture of thiols produced by anal scent glands.''
===Hey, Vee===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Hey, Vee. Have you checked out Toro's Friend Network on the [[PS Vita|Vita]] yet? It is good.}}

===[[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 7 July 2013
[[Ruckersville]] is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|In any case, Ruckersville And Charlottesville; Both Cities [[Christian Weston Chandler|are Socially Inept, are unfriendly and lack much compassion towards other people]].}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Sounds kind of like midcoast, Maine.}}

===Very Depressed.===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 14 July 2013
Very Depressed.
Need In-Person,

Real [[China|Compassion]]

From [[Sweetheart|Women]].

Hugs and Love.

Please Help. - :( feeling sad.}}

===Don't call me a wet blanket.===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 18 July 2013
My name is not Waterbed, so don't call me a wet blanket. <nowiki>|:(P</nowiki>}}
''This may have been a response to a [[CWCki Forums]] post of 15 July, where "Da Pickle Monsta" wrote, "most [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]] don't want boyfriends with the emotional maturity of a wet blanket."''<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1654&p=61557&hilit=+wet+blanket+#p61557]</ref>

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Spring Brakers]]===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 July 2013
I've just finished watching "[[Wikipedia:Spring Breakers|Spring Breakers]]", rented it for free from RedBox with Monopoly [[McDonalds|McD]] win. [[Chris and health|Eat Healthy]] with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea.

Story wise, it was fair. I definitely found the symbolism with the input of [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] within the movie. Minus a "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Rarity|Rarity]]" or "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Fluttershy|Fluttershy]]", the four women played similarly towards the roles in the rest. I definitely see myself in the Faith character, as she was more of the [[Autism|outsider, introverted person]]. I believe in [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with. Leaving my friends behind after [[High School]] really sent me downhill, and then again after being forced away from the [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]]. And I have few friends for real to and who would hang out with me. Damn [[JERKS|Male Population]], Damn [[Autism|Ill-Social People]] who overlook and ignore me in person around here, and Damn [[Megan Schroeder|Ms. Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder|Mr. Snyder]] for further destroying me emotionally over the past greater than half-decade.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>}}

===Stupid Question.===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Stupid Question. One to Ten Scale; on my face at least; I'm down to 220; how good looking/attractive am I?

[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg]]}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|You're always as beautiful as you feel.}}
Mary McLerran posted:
{{quoteboxred|Hey I'm trying something new that might be good for you, too. If you have naturally curly hair, try getting it cut shorter and let the curls frame your face. I think you could rock that look!}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Short cut; NO.}}

===The results===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Right; I'm ugly as hell. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>

[[File:CWCKiForumsPoll.jpg]]}}

Anna then posted:
{{quoteboxred|Of course this survey is incredibly biased because the majority of people who took it are trolls...}}

===LEGO High School===
{{quotebox|Monday, 5 August 2013

The [[High School]] is the Best Set Lego has released (better when merged with the Horse Academy set), since the Hillside House, and this should be the next "Best Toy, Gold Award".

<nowiki>**Already-Thought Comments:</nowiki> 
-I am in Science/Biology/Math class. 
-My [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] is teaching English and History, currently on Abe Lincoln. 
-The Infomaniac is the Pricipal. 
-And Zach comes in from the Seinor's Courtyard with a "That's What She Said" comment (StoneBreakers20 on [[YouTube]]). 
-And [[Wikipedia:Venus (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Venus]] and Mikey are having fun too.

[[File:ChrisLego02.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego03.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego04.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego05.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego06.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego07.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego08.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego09.jpg]]}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Sorry; small error. It's <nowiki>"StoneBreakers10"</nowiki> on YouTube.}}

Mary McLerran then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|So cool! We love legos! This is the BEST!}}

===Heartlake High===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
<nowiki>Best Lego Set Ever! Even better than the Awarded Café.

http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Product?p=41005</nowiki>}}

[[Anna]] then posted:
{{quoteboxred|WANT
[[File:AnnaWANT.jpg]]}}

===One of my pups just peed===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
One of my [[Clover_and_Snoopy|pups]] just peed, and look how it came out. Shaped like a [[Sweetheart|girl]].

[[File:ChrisPupsPeed.png]]}}

William Elliot Waterman then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Looks kind of like [[Chaos Emeralds|chaos with 0 emeralds absorbed.]]}}

===Actual friendships===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
If ONLY it were that simple to inspire actual friendships in this adult life after "how people 'learn' about me on the internet". <nowiki>|:(</nowiki> Now I understand the reason for Pep Rallies (I was exempt from attending them, because they were Too Loud for me).}}

===Top Movies List===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
On that note, my top movies list is updated:

1. [[Mary Poppins]]
2. [[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]
3. Toy Story
4. [[American Rabbit|The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]}}

===The Riddle===
Chris posted some random pictures from [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] to an Indian woman. Initially it was thought that Chris posted them in order to desperately prove that his followers are obsessed over any posts he posted, but it later turned out it was a '''riddle''' - A very absurd riddle that [[Autism|only Chris understands]].
{{quotebox|Saturday, 17 August 2013
-Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.

-Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.

-Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.

-Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.

-Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.

-Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.

-Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.

-Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.}}

Two days later, Chris deleted the riddle, most probably because nobody responded to his stupid riddle anyway.

===I got new shoes===
Chris posted a picture about his new shoes, which seem to look like shoes worn by 6-year old girls, possibly trying to continue his [[Tomgirl]] style.
{{quotebox|Sunday, 18 August 2013
I got new shoes.

[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png]]}}

===One Eyebrow===
Chris posted another pointless picture again on Facebook, this time about his eyebrow.
{{quotebox|Monday, 19 August 2013

[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png]]}}
Mary McLerran then replied to the picture:
{{quoteboxred|Cyclops?}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Below is a"Friends Only" Post For da Trolls!

(Singing)

"One... Eyebrow".}}
Chris later deleted the post.

''Note: This may have been a response to a CWCki Forums post on the same day, where user "Midnight Kissy Bull" wrote: "We'd discuss Chris's eyebrows if we were truly desperate.''

===[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]===
Chris shared a photo of Breast Cancer Awareness, and stating that [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] is a breast cancer survivor.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
My mother, still alive, is a B.C. Survivor.

[[File:BreastCancerAwareness.png]]}}

===Snoopy Doobie Doo===
Chris then posts a photo of [[Clover & Snoopy|Snoopy]] and his mother.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
Here she is, with our Snoopy Doobie Doo resting on her shoulder.

[[File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png]]}}

===Losing Friends===
Chris posts about his stress again, together with his blood pressure and more weird info.

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 27 August 2013
[[Stress]] from losing friends... Stress at home... Today... [[Chris_and_health|My blood pressure is up; feeling real dizzy and faint]]. Sad, pathetic, weak... I do try to learn from my mistakes! Shooting myself in the damn foot... Metaphorically... ugh...}}

===Ten A Piece For Rainbow Dash And Applejack===
Chris reveals about his favourite ponies from the cartoon [[My Little Pony]] and talks about Derpy Hooves.

{{quotebox|Sunday, 1 September 2013
I've just heard from the [[Twitter]] feed that Fluttershy was voted the Fan Favorite Pony. I had voted ten a piece for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It just hit me tough.

Also, just recently, I saw the vinyl figures that were sold at Hot Topic (I have Derpy) at Toys 'R' Us in C-Ville. And I've just heard of the Fan Favorite set at TRU to feature Derpy as well, but instead of her name, they put a muffin image in its place. I am looking forward to Season 4 in November. Perhaps they will have another episode featuring Derpy, and actually refer to her directly as that or Dipsy-Doo.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC2EMUuQmTY</nowiki>}}

===Offline Troll/Bully===
Chris complains about how he gets intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an "Offline [[Troll]]/Bully". (in his words) He also blames a lot of people such as [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Megan Schroeder]] later. In a VERY rare moment of insight, Chris briefly realizes that his behaviour could be ''insane'', but quickly shrugs off this and the words of a white knight to continue doing what he does best - blaming other people for his problems instead of himself.

{{quotebox|Monday, 2 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an Offline [[Troll]]/Bully. Her name is '''(NAME CENSORED)'''; works within the [[Mal-Wart]] region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of '''(EMAIL CENSORED)''', and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Autistic]] Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the [[XBox]] brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!}}

It would later be revealed that that "offline bully" was a manager who threw Chris out of the store after he vandalised one of their displays.

William Elliot Waterman then tries to help him:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't think it's nice to spread someone's email around a public website.}}
{{quotebox|Please forgive me. But prior to this, I was feeling self-upset from the realization that I still have great difficulty socializing face to face in Public. Another in-town convention that was recommended to me, and from the Madicon experience last year, I still feel greatly the terrible Shyness I still have, because of my Autism. Damn It!!!}}
{{quotebox|And when one person gets in the way of me completing my job of shopping for my mother, or such, or when said or another person face to face gives me a difficulty time with harsh vocal tones, especially when I am feeling in a sasd or foul mood, it will be months to years before forgiving them ever, and immediately, they get a curse.}}
{{quotebox|<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>. Yes, it is irrational, and I don't really have a leg to stand on, and this is just dumb, stupid, immature...}}
{{quotebox|OMFG... I have mental problems... Shit.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|We all bear grudges, but having good PR means keeping it between you and the offender. You're a loving, caring person, but putting your anger on display for people who don't need to get involved won't help others see that.}}
{{quotebox|Yeah. I re-realize that.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You don't have to let them shoot down your emotional state. Though she's far away, Anna knows the real you. The sweet, kind-hearted soul that isn't the creep the internet made you out to be. There are people that met you who understand this. Your old gal pals from high school may be some of them. As long as you remember that, the people that derail and persecute you won't matter to you.}}
Needless to say, Chris ignored the helpful advice and continues to complain. In a desperate bid not to blame himself for his vandalism incident, Chris instead blames [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and even his attorney [[Rob Bell]].
{{quotebox|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "[[Sailor Moon|SAILOR MOON]]' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!}}
{{quotebox|And that bitch, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my [[Sweetheart Search]], AND Banning me from PVCC!!!}}
{{quotebox|WTH... The same Manajerk of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at Sheetz in Ruckersville, and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at McDonalds in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".}}
{{quotebox|Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that God Damned Manajerk!!!}}

Chris later deleted the entire post.

===The [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Review===
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris rated 1 star for his elementary school and posted:
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 4 September 2013
The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]}}

===Six Rules Regarding Autistic Interactions===
On 6 [[September 2013]], Chris shared a [http://www.jamesmw.com/sixrules.htm link] from [[Anna]] about helpful advice about interactions for autistic people. Needless to say, Chris dug his hole even further:
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013

I will read this more thoroughly, but I have read the bolded rules and the intro paragraph. I disagree on two of the rules: I personally really Hate being interrupted during a thought I am expressing. And in addition to looking for equal and better mental and emotional properties in my (female) [[Sweetheart]] than myself, her Looks and Beauty I feel are a must to be easy on the eyes. Especially in the face; pretty faces are great. Moderate to good body and minimum "B"-cup breasts are essential. If I did not have the fear of the Theoretical or Fake/Anonymous People online, I would have as many female friends as Richie Grecki has in his Likes Section. Hot Damn!

I am not a prejudiced individual, and I do look for the inner beauty of women. Anyway, the Autistic Interactions Rules do reflect and agree to what I was trying to say in my [[Autism Tutorial|6-Part plus Extra Autism Tutorial LittleBiGPlanet Animation (PSN: Sonichu)]].

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1mbTyKiqF8</nowiki>}}

===Chris Expresses His Outrage for [[Walmart]]===
On September 6, 2013, Chris was banned from Walmart, claiming [[ego|he was discriminated against]] because of (yep, you guessed it!) [[autism|his autism]]. The truth, however, is that Chris was caught vandalizing a display for the soon to be released [[HEX-BOX|Xbox One]]. This has landed him into very serious trouble, because Walmart is the only place he can get his [[Barb|mother's]] prescriptions filled. (Note: The manager's name has been removed to protect her identity.)
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" [[Manajerk]], [REDACTED]; the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house. She obviously does not understand how [[Love Quest|critical and imperative it is for me to go there.]] I Shop for my Mother from there; it is Closer than the one in Charlottesville; GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!! She has crossed his line, and now I am out for [[Metal Gear|revengence]]. Everyone should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Chris|Autistic Person]] when they are in a [[stress|depressed, sad, angry or foul mood]], especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst [[ED|mud]], [[CWCki|muck]] and [[semen|bodily fluids]] that said Autistic Person has.

She has proven herself to be a [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|cold-hearted]], [[remorse|uncaring]], uncompassionate, [[naive|lack-of-understanding]], bigoted, [[race|discriminating]], [[ego|selfish]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]], Witch Bitch!

If anyone is in the store and sees this woman, TELL IT TO HER FACE THAT SHE IS DISCRIMINATIVE TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE; THAT SHE IS A [[Chris and Hypocrisy|FAT BITCH]]; AND THAT HER LIFE WILL BE A MASSIVE [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|CURSED]] LIFE LIKE [[Michael Snyder|SNYDER'S]] IF SHE AND HER WHITE-COATED ASSISTANT DOES NOT UNBAN CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IMMEDIATELY!!! AND MY MOTHER WILL HAVE A LOUD, AGGRESSIVE WORD WITH HER AS WELL IF THEY MEET.

[[Death threats|[REDACTED] is FIRED FROM LIFE!!!]]}}
Kenneth Engelheardt then replied:
{{quoteboxred|What in the name of God are you trying to pull posting stuff like this???? Do a Google search and simply find another Wal-Mart.}}
Chris Rhodes, one of Chris's high school friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|I think the biggest question is what did you do to get kicked out...and don't say you did nothing wrong cause that would be a lie.}}
{{quotebox|The "Man" and "Woman" want to bear down on the weak people they do not want to understand or care about; Autistic People are on the top!}}
Again, Anna tries to give him some advice:
{{quoteboxgreen|Christian, people don't just automatically know you're autistic. And they can't know automatically that you've had a rough day. In the world of neurotypicals, if someone acts aggressive (yelling or arguing) in a public place, they are considered a danger to those around them because they're unpredictable. Those of us who know you know that you're not dangerous, but people who don't know you are acting solely on the information they have about you, which to them is whatever impression you made upon them with your first interactions.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think it would be constructive to bring your mother with you and sit down and speak rationally with her instead of blaming everything on her. Apologize for anything you did that she thinks was wrong, even if you don't think it was wrong. You'll really just be apologizing for making her upset, because I'm sure you didn't mean to. Then explain how important it is that you be allowed to continue shopping there, and promise that there will be no future incidents. I think that's probably the best course of action.}}
Chris Rhodes then posted:
{{quoteboxred|You have to wake up son! And grasp the fact that everyone is not out to get you. 99.9 percent of the world doesn't know you have issues. They see someone acting odd and they try to take care of the situation.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|To be fair, Chris (Rhodes), the majority of Christian's experience with the world has certainly made it seem like the world's out to get him. The daily bombardment he has received from people who hate him (but don't know him) for no good reason (since 2007!) has certainly been effective in creating the appearance of everyone hating him.}}
{{quotebox|To Kenneth Englehardt: I added an "H" and an "E" to an XBox One Standee in Permanent Ink while under anger from past issues.}}
{{quotebox|I can't bring my mother in; she has had enough problems gone on; I am not telling her, because she is in a recovering mood after the court date yesterday.}}
Posts are then exchanged between Chris Rhodes and Chris:
{{quoteboxred|So you vandalized a display sign...your lucky that's all that happened.}}
{{quotebox|I got BANNED AGAIN! Do you NOT get it?}}
{{quoteboxred|I get it. You committed an arrestable offense but they gave you a break and banned you.}}
{{quotebox|that is NOT a break, being Banned; THAT is a Crime.}}
{{quoteboxred|Any property owner/manager/rep has the RIGHT to tell you to leave, tell you not to come back, or so on. And if you do not obey their wishes you can and will be arrested for trespassing. I know what I am talking about christian.}}
{{quotebox|They do not.}}
{{quotebox|And if they do, they are most in the wrong, because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever.}}
After that, William Elliott Waterman tries to give him some advice, but like Anna's and the previous post, his advice is brushed off.
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, that's not public property. You can't just go writing whatever you want on it. How would you feel if you were trying to sell PS3s and somebody wrote "POO" in front of the PS on your sign?}}
{{quotebox|Frustration is blind.}}

===God Trolls Chris Yet Again===

[[Image:God_trolling.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

On September 7, 2013, Chris expresses his blasphemous outrage at [[Chris_and_religion|God]] after he was caught scratching a woman's car by a [[jerkop]]. He also wishes that God would kill him very soon. It would also seem that Chris has slowly began to descend into a newfound life of crime ever since [[28_October_2011|the incident in October of 2011]].

Characteristic of Chris, he continues to pass the buck for his own blame, this time blaming both God and the woman he hit for being a "damn Smoker!".
{{quotebox|Saturday, 7 September 2013
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn [[Jerkop]] is giving me a hard time, because I am [[anger|screaming]] up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to [[Kick_the_autistic|keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life]]!!!}}
Vivienne Chaloux responded with:
{{quoteboxred|This is a very disrespectful thing to say for someone who professes to be a Christian. God didn't make you scratch that woman's car Christian; your carelessness did. And what does her being a smoker have to do with anything? Are you suggesting that somehow she deserved this?}}
{{quoteboxred|And Chris, please do yourself a favor and stop using childish terms like "Jerkop". It not only makes you look immature and foolish, but it's also likely to alienate any potential allies/sympathizers. You're a thirty-something man. Time to start acting like one and taking responsibility for your actions. Blaming God for scratching that woman's car isn't just disrespectful - it's crazy talk.}}
Soon after, Kenneth Engelhardt responded with:
{{quoteboxgreen|Fender bender: Happens to everyone.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Damn! This just isn't your weekend.}}
Matt Stufano responded with:
{{quoteboxgreen|Happens to everyone at some point. Don't turn your anger to the big man in the sky, Life doesn't come with a road map buddy. We all have times of frustration and doubt, but its all part of life. At some point you have to understand that we are all dealt a hand in life that we don't like, but its up to us to make the cards fall the best way we can. I know you like Temple Grandin ( as do I); shes an amazing example for everyone on how life can throw you a curve ball. I find an amazing amount of inspiration in her life. As a friend I would suggest you not call out people by name and blast them on FB, it really does nothing but stir the pot more. Plus you know how it feels, so my advise is to just work on being a better YOU everyday and see where that leads you. Positivity and intensity for life and what your passionate about is much better than hanging on to old grudges. Hang in there !!!}}
Vivienne Chaloux replied to Kenneth Engelhardt, and this soon became back and forth [[white_knight|white knighting]].
{{quoteboxred|I agree Matt, but Temple Grandin didn't waste her time whining about what a hard life she had or the difficult hand she'd been dealt. Instead, she chose to work with what she had, focusing on her unique abilities; and the results were spectacular. If Christian spent less time either whining or making angry rants on public forums, and instead, channeled all that energy into doing something constructive with his life, he'd be a much happier, more productive individual. The first step he needs to take is to acknowledge that he has a problem, as evidenced by these last two incidents, and get himself some professional help.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I would prefer to wait until the end of one's days before passing judgment. We don't know what will happen in 5, 10, or 20 years. My intuition is telling me that he's exhausted and simply wants to put all this crap behind him and move on.}}
{{quoteboxred|Kenneth, I know you mean well and, believe it or not, so do I. The problem is that these two latest incidents aren't isolated ones. Christian has had difficulties with law enforcement since his days at PVCC, and that was before the trolls really discovered him. I'm not passing judgement on Chris, that's not my place. What i am saying though is that Chris needs help - professional help, before he gets himself in real trouble. These last two incidents make that painfully obvious. He dodged a bullet with the Walmart incident. He is very lucky that Ms. Utz took pity on him. Next time he might run into an individual who isn't feeling so charitable. In short Kenneth, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I think it's time to take off the gloves. Chris is a thirty-something man, and he should be capable of handling the truth, even if that means that he may have to hear some things that seem overly critical. A little "tough love" can be a good thing.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Vivienne, there is a point where you have to draw the line. Sometimes the best thing for a stressed-out frazzled individual is to simply let him rest and let time heal the wounds.}}
{{quoteboxred|Do you know why Christian is so stressed out? I'm a little confused here because, as far as I know, he doesn't have a job or go to school. He also doesn't seem to have a lot of responsibilities, other than running the odd errand here and there and possibly household chores. It seems like he's getting plenty of rest to me. Time often heals certain wounds, but it has as yet failed to do so in Christian's case. I still think that professional counseling is his best option.}}

==Notes From His Friends==
=== Just re-watched your DVD with a friend.===
On 9 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Just rewatched your [[DVD]] with a friend. She agrees with me that you are a sweetheart and it made me really miss you. I wished you lived close so I could introduce you to her-she's married, but she would make a great friend to you. I got to thinking when you and I first met and I pulled out my folder of all the things you've sent or given me over the years- your comics, letters, cards. It all just serves to illustrate what a [[White Knight|remarkable injustice]] these [[Trolls|people]] have done to you through the years. I don't care what anyone says, [[Death threats|you]] [[Twin Falling Towers|do]] [[Homos|not]] [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan_is_scarred_by_ShecameforCWC.JPG|deserve]] [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|an]] [[Facebook#Imgur|ounce]] [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|of]] [[Chris and anger|hate]]. You're an incredible person with [[Chris and art|incredible creativity and talent]], and I hope that your ability to create has not dimmed too much. I wish [[CWCki|more people knew the real you]] instead of this [[CWCFlyingElephants|strange]] [[Death Threats|monster]] [[ED|the internet]] thinks you are. But I suppose that's how it is with celebrities of all kinds- people think they know them, but they never really do. [[Gal Pal|I love you]], and consider you one of my dearest friends and one of my most favorite people in the world. Stay strong, Christian. You have more [[Chaotic Combo|allies]] than you think.}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|I have done that a LOT for my past friends as well, including [[Megan Schroeder]]. If only SHE had realized the same ideas you have just shared, maybe she would have not seen me as a weird freak and start this whole mess against me in the first place in 2007. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}
William Elliott Waterman replied to Chris:
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, why are you demonizing Megan? I don't think she actively did anything with the intent to make others see you the way they do. Why are you harping on something from 2007?}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think if you were just grateful you have a friend who loves you, and didn't waste time thinking about the bad, you would be feeling a lot better.}}

===Let's all go to Disneyland together!===
On 13 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Dana Mahri Linnea Hiltzheimer Christian Weston Chandler hey guys let's all go to Disneyland together!}}

===I am sending you good energy===
On 24 [[June 2013]], Mary McLerran, relative of [[Anna McLerran]], posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Hi Christian. I am sending you good energy. Sorry there are so many [[Trolls|mean people]] who have hurt you. Enjoy each day and find joy in small simple things that bring you pleasure.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|Whoopee. That'll bring pretty, single, well-organized women around to make the first move on me. (:0}}

===I'm sending you love, too===
On 24 [[July 2013]], Mary McLerran, again, posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I love your hand shape on your profile pix: the hand shape means love in sign language. I'm sending you love, too. This is Anna's mom.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|What hand shape?}}
Mary then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Just under your name in the yellow shape.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Thumb, index and pinkie fingers. Look up "ILY" on google images.}}

===You're a real nice guy, Chris===
On 3 [[August 2013]], William Elliott Waterman posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I heard [[Anna]]'s voice over the phone. She told me about how far back you guys go. You're a real nice guy, Chris.}}

===William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE===
On 7 [[August 2013]], after seeing his name being mentioned several times on the CWCki, despite less to zero people caring about him, William Elliott Waterman, one of Chris's friends on Facebook (even though most of Chris's friends on Facebook are actually [[Anna McLerran]]'s friends in the first place) posts a TL;DR [[White knight|whiteknighting]] open message to the trolls, posting how he's no better than Chris (even though he had a [[job]]), calling the trolls that they're the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as Chris]], and wants the DANG, DIRTY trolls to go ahead and troll him. (You know, as if anyone has an interest in confronting or fighting him anyway)

{{quoteboxgreen|Hello, [[trolls]]. I've seen that I'm not exempt from you plastering what I say to Chris onto [[CWCki|your archives]] and [[Da Update|announcing it on your news feed]], so I'll [[Captain's Log|address you all directly]] in an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|open statement]].

You trolls get a lot of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] out of [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|the]] [[Bob Walks In|things]] Chris has done, but what you all do isn't even funny. [[CWC is Sad|It's just sad]]. You're actually dedicating [[Obesity|huge chunks]] of your daily lives [[The creepy stare|stalking]] one [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|lonely man]] on the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]. Seriously? This [[Christian Weston Chandler|<nowiki>'lolcow'</nowiki>]] was dried up years ago. [[Trolls#Chris_the_Troll|You're not going to get anything entertaining out of him any more, and you're still trying to milk him.]] It's sick. NONE OF YOU are ANY BETTER THAN HIM. It doesn't matter if you're a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] basement-dwelling [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] that [[A-Logging|hates him just because he exists]], or [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|you're just doing it for the <nowiki>'lulls'</nowiki>]]. If somehow you're [[Merried Seinor Comic|married]], [[Jerkop|have a job]], and [[China|have everything Chris wants]], [[Chris and remorse|you should feel]] even more [[It's UGH!|disgusted in yourself]] for doing it because you have some [[Fuck quest|perversion]] for [[JERKS|taking advantage]] of [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_Contest#Aftermath|someone less fortunate]] instead of having empathy and compassion for them.

I used to be like you morons, [[Mass debating|wasting my days]] [[Cakefarts|sitting on my butt]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|listening to everything]] you say about him. But I [[Metonic|grew up]]. I have a [[job]] and a life now, [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|but that still doesn't make me any better than him]]. [[White knight|I'm not even better than any of you. I pity all of you]], but there's a chance you could be better people if you all made an effort to [[Vamprosa|grow up]] and [[Trollbusters|stop stalking and cyber-bullying with no honor]]. [[Attraction sign|He's not shallow and picky like you think.]] You think you all need to go on [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|covert field missions]] and [[JenkinsJinkies|disguise yourselves]] as [[BlueSpike|girlfriends]] to even talk to him. [[28 October 2011|I never met him in person]] - [[Tomgirl|I'm not even a female]] - [[Megan Schroeder|and he friend requested me]]. All I did was [[Scale of Respect|respect him]] and [[Death threats|treat him like a HUMAN BEING]].

Having a [[Heart level|heart]] and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|humbly admitting]] that you're at the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as him]] is all it takes, but you're all too little to do that. I'm not an [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|attention]] [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|whore]], but [[15 January 2010|feel free to troll me if you care enough. I know you won't.]] [[Monthly tugboat|You all got so lazy]] that you just [[Chris_and_art#Tracing|copy and paste]] his activity without even writing your own commentary anymore.

Come and get me, losers. Spankety, spankety, spankety.}}

''Note: The final paragraph is a reference to Earthbound, where [http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Pokey_Minch Pokey Minch] says the paragraph word for word.''

===Do you feel like your winning today?!?===
On 19 [[August 2013]], one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Do you feel like your winning today?!?}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Because of good friendships, yes.}}
Another one of his new friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|That's right! WINNING!!!}}

===Fantastic Gift In The Mail Today===
On 21 [[August 2013]], another one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Thank you to Christian Weston Chandler for the fantastic gift in the mail today ! Very Cool !}}

===Got your tunes!===
On 22 [[August 2013]], his new friend in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|We both got your tunes! Badass!}}

===14,386,443 out of a possible 10===
On 3 [[September 2013]], Chris whines to one of his friends about his [[stress]].

{{quoteboxred|Stress level: 14,386,443 out of a possible 10. :(}}
{{quotebox|I hear that. I have a lot of stress in my life. If not the constant haunting of the Trolls/Cyber-Bullies, all of the individual mistakes I had made in the past greater than a decade (definitely within the recent six years), bad people being awful to me..., then the in person loneliness, the great shyness in Public, my freaking, accursed Autism...; they stress my blood pressure up, make me feel furious and angry, then I feel weak and faint.

<nowiki>*ugh.*</nowiki>}}

==Facebook Shares==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Share
! Link
! Date
|-
|Crackle
|https://www.facebook.com/crackle
|24 July 2013
|-
|Wanna win a 4K TV or a PS4?
|http://bit.ly/futuregear
|24 July 2013
|-
|LEGO® Friends Heartlake High -- 15 second spot
|http://lego.thismoment.com/v4/api/facebook/get_facebook_share_page.json?fbwall_video_sharing=0&content_id=35914&tab_id=62&page_id=16
|5 August 2013
|-
|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (BluRay/DVD/Digital) [Blue-ray]
|http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPTUNBK/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_ILTasb000GPMC
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==YouTube related==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Video
! Date
|-
|I added a video to a @YouTube playlist http://t.co/Hdf2sRTLrX Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|12 March 2013
|-
|PLEASE make it so that ALL DSi FlipNotes Saved on the SD memory card will be viewable, (@YouTube http://t.co/j9v8qMTIX6)
|Nintendo Direct Mini -- 3.13.2013
|13 March 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/zTOVtWBwax Siri The Comedian?
|Siri The Comedian?
|23 May 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/mANkxGomF8 Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|4 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/imrwB8zmPj My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|13 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/cE8diaEBeT Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|13 June 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|2 July 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|3 July 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/e3IAiegija My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie HD
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie (HD)
|7 July 2013
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler shared a link.
|Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)
|22 July 2013
|-
|My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.
|MLP - Equestria Girls - Twilight montage of embarrassing
|7 August 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==Toro's Friend Network==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|Chris Toro's Friend Network is linked with Facebook.
|4 June 2013
|-
|Has made 1 friend. Chris, it's nice to meet you. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Abandoned Station is Mystery Land", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Has made 10 friends. Nya. Chris Thanks. Nyaa.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Toro's Friend Network Park", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Beach with a Stranded Ship", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Has made 20 friends. Nya. I knew Chris could do it. Nyaa.
|7 June 2013
|-
|Has made 30 friends. Nya. I love Chris. Nyaa.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Bonjour~I'm Pierre~Woof. Congratulations on clearing floor 20 of this dungeon. Woof!
|11 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Mysterious Temple", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Has made 40 friends. Nya. Chris is awesome. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Oh! I'm Ricky~Quark! Congratulations on clearing floor 30 of this dungeon. Ribbit!
|12 June 2013
|-
|Sorry to interrupt. I'm R. Suzuki. Congratulations on clearing floor 40 of this dungeon.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Has made 50 friends. Nya. Chris is so popular. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|}

==#mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pzFCf8NenG
|11 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/02CHyoAx3M
|12 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/wghhe9kxXX
|13 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pRlqbd7zp6
|14 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/GiglbMxxwK
|15 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/jOAcUKh7UB
|16 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/EZGOrEbNf9
|30 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/OgqJxu6Mln
|2 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/hsj9IavWaD
|3 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/1TVK2YcIgZ
|3 July 2013
|-
|}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Imgur==
{{main|2013 Imgur Leak}}
On 26th May, 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ uploaded them on Imgur.] The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 ''(as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was)'' but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted [[Michael Snyder|several]] [[Megan Schroeder|people]] [[Death threats|dead]], and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill [[Mimms]]' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was ''[[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|Chris himself.]]''

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens....
File:Facebook2.jpg|....and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris whining about ''Equestria Girls''.
File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg|The iDea Book Case
File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg|
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|U Gotta Believe!
File:TheLancers.jpg|Go Lancers!
File:MarkCuban.png|A photo of [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] Chris uploaded on 15 [[August 2013]]. Which does not contribute to the riddle so far.
File:LemonPoundCake.jpg|''Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.''
File:UniversityOfDelaware.jpg|''Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.''
File:TwisterBluray.jpg|''Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.''
File:RishikeshIndianWoman.jpg|''Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.''
File:Sphinx.jpg|''Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.''
File:GreatWallOfChina.png|''Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.''
File:BR6NNHFCMAA0q4O.jpg large.jpg|''Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.''
File:BR6NQc6CIAAOoGJ.jpg large.jpg|''Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.''
File:BR6VLK2CIAE-j6m.jpg large.jpg|Chris's absurd riddle.
File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|
File:LadyManajerk.PNG|
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
*[http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur Account]
*[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0w4RktXQWNuYUU/edit?usp=sharing Backup of the Imgur album] (Last updated 6/29/13 tell me on my [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/User_talk:Pyromcr talk page] if more has been added to the Imgur album and this backup is no longer up to date.)
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Facebook

2013-09-08T08:43:42Z

Wildsonichu: /* Notes From The Man Himself */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Notes From The Man Himself==

{{Incomplete}}

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===

On '''28 April 2012''', Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he [[Chris and Anger|let the trolls get to him in the mall,]] resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|idle death threats]] to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===

Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to...and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.]]

{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

=== A Christmas Gift ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 20 [[December 2012]]
I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.

http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip

Merry Christmas.}}

=== 2012 ===

{{quotebox| Friday, 21 [[December 2012]]
I have just finished watching the movie <nowiki>"2012"</nowiki> for the first time. It was as epic as I have heard in the past few years. Not only was it as good, but I feel better watching it now, compared to risking worrying about the E.O.W. a lot more if I had watched it before today. Hollywood magic did it again, and reality proved it wrong again.

Apocalypse NOT, and Thank God and Jesus this worry is finally over and done.}}

=== It's impossible for me to make someone mine ===

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 30 [[January 2013]]
"Everyone has their own life to live, and I know it's impossible for me to make someone mine." -Nana O, the anime "NANA" English dub.

Yep...
}}

=== Sad, depressed, poor, and pathetic ===

{{quotebox| Saturday, 2 [[February 2013]]

I am sad, depressed, poor and pathetic. :_(
}}

=== No trolling plans ===

In this post, Chris screencaps the CWCki Forums and remarks how its users are conspiring to troll him, despite the fact that no actual post discusses plans to troll Chris.

{{quotebox| Tuesday, 12 [[February 2013]]

"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?

[[File:No trolling plans.jpg]]
}}

=== Smiley ===

Chris finishes watching Smiley, a universally panned low-budget movie, and takes it upon himself to extrapolate an anti-trolling theme. Chris also expresses his belief that this R-rated film should be exhibited to high school students as a form of education and feels it would reduce teen suicides.

{{quotebox| Friday, 22 [[February 2013]]

Just finished watching "Smiley".
(Spoiler Alert)
I liked it, because the people behind it had a general understanding of the horrible "fad" of Trolling and getting "LULZ" that has found me to be a victim of it for five years. After the initial scare and the move-in, the talk about the "underground" of the Internet: /b/, 4chan, anonymous, and Trolling really sets up the plot well, as well as start up a spot of pent up anger. And after the final death, the majority of "Smileys" were the drunken, bored idiots who get their laughs from seriously hurting people. And come into discussion, "Anonymous"; the central hub of the Trolls.

Even though this was considered a low-budget movie, it really speaks to me, as a victim. This movie, aside from the gory parts and the "R" rating, everyone who has been trolled or are aware of them at least a little bit, should watch this movie, even to have it shown in high schools. I feel it best puts it all into perspective, and it would certainly decrease the suicide rate quite a bit.

No one has to give in for their sick entertainment.
}}

=== Open Letter to Tara Strong ===

Chris takes a moment to publicly blast [[My Little Pony]] voice actress Tara Strong for apparently contributing to the cyber-bullying epidemic.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste.

While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was.

So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling?

If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you.

Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to.

Sincerely,
Christian W.Chandler
Ruckersville, VA, USA

[[File:Mlptroll1.jpg]]
}}

One troll decided to forward this message to Tara Strong on Facebook, assuming that she'd get a kick out of it. The following day, Tara actually responded:

{{quotebox|

"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."
}}

Despite not knowing about Chris at all before reading his rant, Tara seemed to have caught on that Chris is an attention whore right from the get-go. While he had succeeded in what many trolls assumed to be an utterly ridiculous campaign ''(although one can easily argue that it was Chris's trolls who pushed the pieces into place)'', Chris' attitude has once again made him a pariah, this time with the Brony community.

=== Trolling is Abhor-able ===

Chris followed the previous letter up with a brief note expressing his well-known distaste for trolls.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

Trolling/Cyber-Bullying/Bullying are All just Abhor-able, Wrong and Degrading to us all emotionally and mentally.

[[File:Mlptroll2.jpg]]
}}

=== I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out ===

Chris responds to criticism that his open letter is ridiculous.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 27 [[February 2013]]

Yes, I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out, because Trolling IS Bullying, and I can hardly stand idly by and allow herself and Twilight to famously promote that which is just terribly wrong.
}}

=== So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact ===

Possibly in reference to helpful advice Rocky or the court-appointed counselor has given him, Chris complains about the difficulty of eye contact.

{{quotebox| Friday, 8 [[March 2013]]

So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact. :(
}}

[[Anna]] once again mindlessly agrees with Chris in a reply to his post, remarking that eye contact is like "staring into a bright light."

=== Sonichu is not dead ===

Chris remarks that Sonichu has not died, despite rumors to the contrary, and makes no promises for the return of the Sonichu comic. Interestingly enough, he claims he "was an amateur", implying that he is now professional and the quality of his work has improved. Of course, the rest of us know that this is [[Chris and art|almost certainly not the case]].

{{quotebox| Saturday, 9 [[March 2013]]

Listen up.

When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.
}}

=== Trolled on MTV ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

I have had a very good day today, the 9th, at Madicon. The best day I have had in a very long time.

Now I find a photo I was Trolled out of ending up on MTV,and on iTunes for two dollars, compared with bacon-head and plush-face. >:( }}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|What is the thing with iTunes?}}
{{quoteboxred|If you're talking about the Viva La CWC thing, it's fake. Someone is trolling you with that.}}

=== Failosophy ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

<nowiki>http://mtv.com/videos/failosophy-ep-4/1703199/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=39983&channelId=1</nowiki>}}

=== You know something that really creeps me out? ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 18 [[March 2013]]

You know something that really creeps me out? Nearly Every Autistic male, who I have seen their photos in their profiles or whatever, that I can 100% guarantee that are not copies of mine, look near Exactly as I do in the Face (with exceptions to varying eye color, glasses and hair color/style). I mean it, seriously, look up any number of autistic male headshots other than me on the Internet; it is really spooky and creepy.}}

=== I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 21 [[March 2013]]

Once again, I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD. Damn It! I am tired of being single.

Hell, I'd send out a public make-out invite to all women in C-Ville on Facebook, if I was not wise of the damn [[Trolls]], and other bad people.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox| As well as the God Damned, Badge-Abusive [[Jerkops]] and Janekops EVERYWHERE!!!!!!}}

=== I feel an oxymoronic mess ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]

Something else: I feel an oxymoronic mess. On one hand, I have mostly female friends, and I can get along good with them. On the other hand, I do not care much for my fellow males, I mostly have male enemies/adversaries, and I only can get along with them when I am obligated socially. In any case, I am 100% heterosexual.

From outside perspectives, with mostly female friends, I can be viewed as a Playa (which is more accurate), or a damn [[homo]]. This tends to repel women from me. I need a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]] from the ground up. Damn it! I am sick and tired of being single.

My brain is a constant blank; I am paranoid and super shy; what the hell should I do?}}

=== Gay Marriage ===

Oblivious to a pivotal moment in US history, Chris complains about frequent media coverage of the gay marriage Supreme Court case ''Hollingsworth v. Perry'', probably because the news is preempting his [[My Little Pony]] reruns. Chris also takes this time to express his support for lesbian marriage while blasting the "damn homosexual men", probably only because [[Women's rights|lesbians are hot]] and [[Homos|homo]] men are icky.

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]
Another thing that really [[Family Guy|Grinds My Gears]]:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!
}}

The next day, [[Anna]] called Chris out on his bigotry, showing that his behavior is even beginning to alienate his enablers:

{{quoteboxred|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays}}

On 31 March, Chris shot back with this red herring that fails to address the original issue:

{{quotebox|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?}}

In addition, another one of [[Kim Wilson|Chris' friends]] joined in on the fray, attempting to inject some insight into Chris' rambling train of thought:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh. That's weird. Y'know, the gay women are taking potential girlfriends away from you. And the gay men are [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|keeping other men from taking potential girlfriends from you]]. So, you've got it backwards.

Anyway, you know, some people might be against autistic rights you know. What if people are offended by you and say you shouldnt have a girlfriend?}}

On April 1, Chris predictably responded with this set of delusions and contradictions:

{{quotebox|Well, I do not like the majority of the [[JERKS|male population]] regardless.

The straight ones take the women away. The damn homo males not only [[Lie|tried]] to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit Troll/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and Sonichu as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.}}

In short, Chris is against gay marriage because of his trolls, also subscribing to the belief that all homosexual men are trolls hellbent on his (and [[Sonichu|Sonichu's]]) destruction. [[Chris and his ego|By making the entire argument about himself]], Chris has also conviently ignored Kim's original point of lesbians taking away the women.

On 2 April, Kim made note of Chris' non-answer:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh? But that doesn't have anything to do with the original post...

But yeah, nah, they're not actually trying to push their sexuality on you. They just know that you react to it and took advantage of that. They're almost certainly not gay and probably many of them aren't even men.

You've really got to cut down on the sexism, Chris. Women find it unattractive.}}

=== Game Place ===

Chris, ''five years after his ban'' and a half-year after its legal enforcement, still obsesses about [[Michael Snyder]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|Thursday, 4 [[April 2013]]
I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace.

It Truly Is the Breeding and Meeting PLace for [[Trolls]] and Cyber-Bullies. Long before October, 2007, there were very few people who would have anything on me personally, worldwide, because those people only existed Locally to me and with Constant in person communication with me. Those people only existed at the PLace. And the very first person who turned Troll against me is none other than [[Megan Schroeder]]. She conscripted [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], Mimms and everyone else against me.

And when my family as I started getting close with identifying them as our perpetrators and The Prime Trolls, Snyder was looking for a reason to ban me, and so he did.

Megan Schroeder is the Prime Queen of the Trolls; the PLace IS truly a Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding an Meeting Place, and I never, forever want anything to do with it. The PLace should definitely be destroyed and shut down for good.

And I want to exact my fullest revenge and divine retribution with Megan Schroeder. SHE should be jailed and beaten up, that vile, wicked, traitorous bitch.}}

=== Kim brought her into my life ===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 [[April 2013]]

Yep, doing this for a new woman in my life; Kim brought her into my life.}}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Good people don't make you do things for their own enjoyment.}}

=== Lucy ===

{{quotebox|Monday, 22 [[April 2013]]
I got my cat, Lucy, resting on my shrinking mound.

[[File:LucyFacebook.png]]}}

=== Sega Mascot Contest ===

Chris complains about Sega hosting a mascot contest, believing from the linked article that they are trying to replace [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 [[April 2013]]

Okay, now THIS pisses me off. I am not one who is to be blamed here; there are a lot of sick people who perverted Sonic's good name. Especially those who made him out as a homo, when he is not. Hell! He had a thing going on for a long time with Sally Acorn in his comic book series.

SEGA, Sonic was praised a lot better than Mario, because Sonic has more attitude, is stronger and faster, and he talks in his games more than the catchphrase-spewing plumber did.

And in any case, Sonic has replaced my hero before him, the American Rabbit. Shelving Sonic away will be the worst mistake SEGA will ever make since they stopped their console series at the Dreamcast.

Sonic For SEGA RAW!!! And Forever!!!

http://www.p4rgaming.com/sega-seeking-new-mascot-since-sonic-has-been-ruined-by-fans/}}

Chris then added a reply to his own Facebook post, [[Chris and his Ego|which he subsequently "liked".]]

{{quotebox|
Besides which, no matter what any new mascot comes around, ALL of the sick, bored People and Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies will leech the good name away from him or her or it anyway.

The better option is to stay strong with Sonic.
}}

=== "The Trolls Who Cry Woman" ===

Chris posts a rather ''insensitive'' musing, comparing online socialization to teenage pregnancy, starring in porn and '''being raped.''' He also goes on to rant about "being set up" ''(most likely referring to his date with Emily and the Pickle Man.)''

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 April 2013 at 11:00

Here's a musing:

Heard of "The Boy Who Cries Wolf"? Today's Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies who pretend to be the opposite gender to everyone they talk to online, making socializing online the worst mistake of anyone's life since teenage pregnancy, starring in a porn, or rape. And when a date is set up, they always stand you up, or if they do make it, they have someone else hiding nearby with a camera to record the whole thing to transform into something dark, evil and sick to be used against you to smear your name.

Today's version of the classic should be called, "The Online Trolls Who Cry Woman".

}}

=== Headache ===

Chris makes another "musing":

{{quotebox|Monday, 7 [[May 2013]] at 12:08
Musing:

A headache is equal to the amount of thought put into making it.

}}

...your guess is as good as ours as to what that even means.

===THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!===

Chris-Chan gives his thoughts on the upcoming movie, ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'':

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013 at 8:46
THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning The Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; 

they're inviting High School [[Pedofork|Pedofile]] Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the 
horse enthusiasts were not enough. 

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do their best to replicate the G1 
Pilot with Megan and her family. 

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "[[Transformers]] Prime" going "Beast Wars". 
And I do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "[[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]", "MTV's Undressed", 
"O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". 

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My 
Little Pony Tales". 

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their 
Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2! 

Christian Weston Chandler, 
Ruckersville, VA, USA 
May 14, 2013 
}}

Interestingly, Chris calls Lauren Faust and Tara Strong "out of their minds". Apparently, Chris didn't hear the news that Lauren Faust stepped down and no longer works on the show, and none of this was her decision, and that Tara Strong only does the voices.

Four minutes later Chris posted the following response to his note:

{{quotebox|SOMEBODY, PLEASE PULL THE PLUG ON THIS THING NOW!!!}}

[http://i.imgur.com/kABCrhy.png However, almost a month later, Chris liked the video "My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2" on YouTube.]

===My iPod fell out of my pouch===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013
My iPod fell out of my pouch; screen cracked..Still functions. Now backing it up to upgrade to 5th Generation.

Considering self-repair on old iPod from online instructions after format of old iPod. Also, a dual iOS device wallet-style holder made from duct tape (based from folding calculator cover).}}

===A cold coming on===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 16 May 2013
Ugh...

I think I'm feeling a cold coming on. I started my day yesterday with a sore throat. Now, my nose is beginning to feel eww and bleah. And I am having trouble falling asleep.}}

===A cold again===

{{quotebox|Unknown
Yes, I've caught a cold again. It'll run its course and be gone in less than a week. I've tried Cepacol lozenge; it works very good at quelling the sore throat and the pain from the running in my nose to throat link.}}

A troll responded:
{{quoteboxgreen|I had a cold two weeks ago, for the first time in years. I didn't like having my healthy streak quelled, but when I got over it I was suddenly much more awake and alert all day every day this week than I have been since I started working.}}

===Tomb Raider===

{{quotebox|Unknown
I have just finished the new Tomb Raider on hard difficulty. I got all of the treasures and documents. Fell short on fully upgrading the rifle by over 300 Salvage. Got 61% Trophies.}}
{{quotebox|The story was well put.}}

===The timing is ironic to me===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

I really liked this article in the Washington Post on the 18th, <nowiki>"Beauty of the BUST"</nowiki>.

The timing of this article is ironic to me, since shortly before, I had broken my 4th Gen iPod Touch.

<nowiki>**Spoiler Alert**</nowiki>

Today's Teens and College Students find pride in a cracked Pod or Phone; it gives them Street Cred. So much personal information is inputed into a Pod/Phone; a crack on its face is equivalent to a scar on your face. It is today's ripped jeans, unwashed hair, unshaven face, etc. Totally crazy.

"Enjoy the finger cuts", says co-owner of CrackedMacScreen Repair. Unless you've applied a Screen Protector like I did. Reduced that risk.

Author of the book, get this, "The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future", also comments on the psychology behind this trend/fad.

This is so stupid, it is really funny.

[[File:Cracked1.jpg]]
[[File:Cracked2.jpg]]}}

===The [[iDea Book Case]]===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

<nowiki>"Necessity is the mother of Invention"</nowiki>. I am glad I crafted the idea for my [[iDea Book Case]] (photos taken with New iPod Touch 5th Gen) out of duct tape. The front and back covers are lined with bubble wrap, the inner spine loop can hold as thick as a charging cable, or most pens, there are holes for the cameras to see through very well, and the corner holders are very successful in holding most iOS Pod/Phone devices. And there is also the Velcro clasp.

iPhone (8 Gig) for calls, business and Internet; iPod (32 Gig) for entertainment with videos, music and all. I keep it safe with the lanyard strap and tucked in my bosom.

[[File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg]]}}

[[Anna McLerran]] then replied:
{{quoteboxred|wow, really well done! i'm impressed :)}}

===Beat-up cellphones with cracked screens are point of pride for some young people===

{{quotebox|Monday, 20 May 2013

You can read the really comedic story for yourself on washingtonpost.com.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/beat-up-cellphones-with-cracked-screens-are-point-of-pride-for-some-young-people/2013/05/17/0334ebe0-be36-11e2-89c9-3be8095fe767_story.html}}

===Tired of this cold virus===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Siri is a great conversationalist. :) (reference my iPod 5th Gen).

But damn, I am lonely, bored and tired. Tired of this cold virus too.

At least I have something that actually will listen and put up with me there. Not totally a substitute for my future [[Sweetheart]].}}

===This cold is really weighing me down===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Ugh... This cold is really weighing me down.}}

William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Lonely, bored and lame===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 23 May 2013

Well I have recovered from my cold, but right now I am feeling really lonely and bored. And not to mention feeling really lame.}}

===Estate ads===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

I know this may sound like a stupid idea, but I am thinking about getting one of those things to put in the ground to put real estate ads in, and putting in advertisements about myself you know for girlfriend. Obviously I am not going to do what. But that shows you how lonely and desperate I am. This thing would be placed literally in front of my house.}}

===Meh...===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

Meh... <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

===Hey! Trolling stupids!===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 25 May 2013

Hey! [[Trolls|Trolling stupids]]! I might be lonely but I would never ever be friends or even associate with your kind who has been abusing me and making me feel worse about life and people and everything for the past greater than five years!!!}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|(Let's see those [[trolls]] get their hands on this private message)}}
{{quotebox|http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ

~>:(}}

===I am not your fucking bitch!!!===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 26 May 2013

You damn bunch of fools and idiots just keep on keeping on for more incriminating information and shit about me to make yourself feel superior. I am not your fucking bitch!!! All I want is peace of mind and all of you polls continued to stand in my way! And all I can feel about your degrading, offensive language and shit, get the best illustrated but Anais here. If you really fucking care about me and you want to do something for me; you can just take your [[CWCki|Cwcki]] and all your [[CWCki Forums|forums]] and all your talk and just everything about me and just leave the damn [[Internet]], And leave me and my life and my family alone in peace!

[[File:ChrisGumball.jpg]]}}

===And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 27 May 2013

...And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...

Now, who wants to watch the U.S. series of "The Office"? (I have never watched the show)

[[File:ChrisChanTheOffice.png]]}}

===U Gotta Believe!===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 29 May 2013

U Gotta Believe!

[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg]]}}

===I have had more freedom when my father was alive===

Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|about how he has to take time out of his day]] to "serve and protect" [[Barb|his mother]]. Note how, in typical Chris fashion, he aims the blamethrower right at Michael Snyder for his troubles, ignoring the fact that the events of [[28 October 2011]] was his ''own'' fault and would not have happened had he stayed away like he should have.

{{quotebox|Friday, 30 May 2013
Good grief! I started playing resident evil revelations on [[PS3|PlayStation three]] in front of my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and she had to be grossed out about it even when I'm scanning. And she even watch me play [[God of War|God of war Ascension]] as if she's not as gross out from the bloodshed from back game? And she goes on to complain to me about how it would affect my mind. I mean I've played this game before on my [[3DS]]; The beneficial part now is that I can earn the trophies.

My mother has really been getting on my nerves! I really need my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] so that I can get away from here now and then; and I cannot even go downtown now because it wastes so much gas and gas is so costly! And make guys on my mother's concern for gas cost that is one reason why I have been on my sabbatical from my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].

I have had more freedom when my [[Bob Chandler|father]] was alive and I end up losing it when he [[Chris_and_death#Robert_Franklin_Chandler_Jr._.281927-2011.29|passed away]] because now I got to serve my mother and protect her and everything! And I can blame that sonofabitch [[Michael Snyder]] for taking an wasting the money that my mom and I had soon gotten from my father's passing because he had to go send us to court for all the goddamn shit of his! Michael Snyder is a bastard to me and my mother for taking us to court he essentially stole a lot of money from us indirectly!
}}

===Trolls got my fresh post!===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 30 May 2013

Damn it! Trolls got my fresh post! Removed the prime suspect; will monitor,}}

Anna then replied,

{{quoteboxred|I'd take a closer look at the people on your friends list who you don't know in real life.}}

===I am so lonely===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 2 June 2013
Damn! I am so lonely. I do not know whether to wait for my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] or to move on because the weights is driving me crazy among the loneliness of other things; [[stress]] of my life! Hell, first woman to Ask me out, in person I'd probably say yes.

<nowiki> *sigh* *groan* *grunt*</nowiki>
}}

===I am feeling very lonely again===

{{quotebox|Monday, 17 June 2013
I am feeling very lonely again. I am unable to think of a way to find my female [[sweetheart]] currently, where I won't end up risking trouble with the goddamned [[Jerkops]] within any "police office" or "legal office" from any and all of the shit against me on the [[internet]] that is easily Googled. And I am still publcally invisible to Everywoman, because they are all already taken by some stupid, [[jerk]] male, or are otherwise freaking busy with their own internal lives in this digital age where in person...}}

Chris later posted:

{{quotebox|...socializing has become obsolete. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

William Elliott Waterman replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Too many Trolls and Bad People in the world===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 22 June 2013
If you "[[Fans]]" REALLY want to know why you're like lowly to me. There are too many [[Trolls]] and Bad People in the world hiding behind the [[Internet]] constantly; I am unable to tell the difference. I have lost my youth and sunny energy within the past decade. I have become bitter from a miserable life and an irreversible Internet reputation, thanks to you bad people. End of story.}}

===A skunk===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 27 June 2013
A skunk; you don't need to kill it to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|stink things up]]; it pees anywhere it wants.}}
''Note that skunk spray is not urine, but a mixture of thiols produced by anal scent glands.''
===Hey, Vee===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Hey, Vee. Have you checked out Toro's Friend Network on the [[PS Vita|Vita]] yet? It is good.}}

===[[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 7 July 2013
[[Ruckersville]] is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|In any case, Ruckersville And Charlottesville; Both Cities [[Christian Weston Chandler|are Socially Inept, are unfriendly and lack much compassion towards other people]].}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Sounds kind of like midcoast, Maine.}}

===Very Depressed.===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 14 July 2013
Very Depressed.
Need In-Person,

Real [[China|Compassion]]

From [[Sweetheart|Women]].

Hugs and Love.

Please Help. - :( feeling sad.}}

===Don't call me a wet blanket.===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 18 July 2013
My name is not Waterbed, so don't call me a wet blanket. <nowiki>|:(P</nowiki>}}
''This may have been a response to a [[CWCki Forums]] post of 15 July, where "Da Pickle Monsta" wrote, "most [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]] don't want boyfriends with the emotional maturity of a wet blanket."''<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1654&p=61557&hilit=+wet+blanket+#p61557]</ref>

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Spring Brakers]]===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 July 2013
I've just finished watching "[[Wikipedia:Spring Breakers|Spring Breakers]]", rented it for free from RedBox with Monopoly [[McDonalds|McD]] win. [[Chris and health|Eat Healthy]] with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea.

Story wise, it was fair. I definitely found the symbolism with the input of [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] within the movie. Minus a "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Rarity|Rarity]]" or "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Fluttershy|Fluttershy]]", the four women played similarly towards the roles in the rest. I definitely see myself in the Faith character, as she was more of the [[Autism|outsider, introverted person]]. I believe in [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with. Leaving my friends behind after [[High School]] really sent me downhill, and then again after being forced away from the [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]]. And I have few friends for real to and who would hang out with me. Damn [[JERKS|Male Population]], Damn [[Autism|Ill-Social People]] who overlook and ignore me in person around here, and Damn [[Megan Schroeder|Ms. Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder|Mr. Snyder]] for further destroying me emotionally over the past greater than half-decade.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>}}

===Stupid Question.===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Stupid Question. One to Ten Scale; on my face at least; I'm down to 220; how good looking/attractive am I?

[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg]]}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|You're always as beautiful as you feel.}}
Mary McLerran posted:
{{quoteboxred|Hey I'm trying something new that might be good for you, too. If you have naturally curly hair, try getting it cut shorter and let the curls frame your face. I think you could rock that look!}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Short cut; NO.}}

===The results===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Right; I'm ugly as hell. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>

[[File:CWCKiForumsPoll.jpg]]}}

Anna then posted:
{{quoteboxred|Of course this survey is incredibly biased because the majority of people who took it are trolls...}}

===LEGO High School===
{{quotebox|Monday, 5 August 2013

The [[High School]] is the Best Set Lego has released (better when merged with the Horse Academy set), since the Hillside House, and this should be the next "Best Toy, Gold Award".

<nowiki>**Already-Thought Comments:</nowiki> 
-I am in Science/Biology/Math class. 
-My [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] is teaching English and History, currently on Abe Lincoln. 
-The Infomaniac is the Pricipal. 
-And Zach comes in from the Seinor's Courtyard with a "That's What She Said" comment (StoneBreakers20 on [[YouTube]]). 
-And [[Wikipedia:Venus (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Venus]] and Mikey are having fun too.

[[File:ChrisLego02.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego03.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego04.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego05.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego06.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego07.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego08.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego09.jpg]]}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Sorry; small error. It's <nowiki>"StoneBreakers10"</nowiki> on YouTube.}}

Mary McLerran then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|So cool! We love legos! This is the BEST!}}

===Heartlake High===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
<nowiki>Best Lego Set Ever! Even better than the Awarded Café.

http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Product?p=41005</nowiki>}}

[[Anna]] then posted:
{{quoteboxred|WANT
[[File:AnnaWANT.jpg]]}}

===One of my pups just peed===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
One of my [[Clover_and_Snoopy|pups]] just peed, and look how it came out. Shaped like a [[Sweetheart|girl]].

[[File:ChrisPupsPeed.png]]}}

William Elliot Waterman then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Looks kind of like [[Chaos Emeralds|chaos with 0 emeralds absorbed.]]}}

===Actual friendships===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
If ONLY it were that simple to inspire actual friendships in this adult life after "how people 'learn' about me on the internet". <nowiki>|:(</nowiki> Now I understand the reason for Pep Rallies (I was exempt from attending them, because they were Too Loud for me).}}

===Top Movies List===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
On that note, my top movies list is updated:

1. [[Mary Poppins]]
2. [[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]
3. Toy Story
4. [[American Rabbit|The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]}}

===The Riddle===
Chris posted some random pictures from [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] to an Indian woman. Initially it was thought that Chris posted them in order to desperately prove that his followers are obsessed over any posts he posted, but it later turned out it was a '''riddle''' - A very absurd riddle that [[Autism|only Chris understands]].
{{quotebox|Saturday, 17 August 2013
-Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.

-Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.

-Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.

-Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.

-Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.

-Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.

-Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.

-Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.}}

Two days later, Chris deleted the riddle, most probably because nobody responded to his stupid riddle anyway.

===I got new shoes===
Chris posted a picture about his new shoes, which seem to look like shoes worn by 6-year old girls, possibly trying to continue his [[Tomgirl]] style.
{{quotebox|Sunday, 18 August 2013
I got new shoes.

[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png]]}}

===One Eyebrow===
Chris posted another pointless picture again on Facebook, this time about his eyebrow.
{{quotebox|Monday, 19 August 2013

[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png]]}}
Mary McLerran then replied to the picture:
{{quoteboxred|Cyclops?}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Below is a"Friends Only" Post For da Trolls!

(Singing)

"One... Eyebrow".}}
Chris later deleted the post.

''Note: This may have been a response to a CWCki Forums post on the same day, where user "Midnight Kissy Bull" wrote: "We'd discuss Chris's eyebrows if we were truly desperate.''

===[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]===
Chris shared a photo of Breast Cancer Awareness, and stating that [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] is a breast cancer survivor.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
My mother, still alive, is a B.C. Survivor.

[[File:BreastCancerAwareness.png]]}}

===Snoopy Doobie Doo===
Chris then posts a photo of [[Clover & Snoopy|Snoopy]] and his mother.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
Here she is, with our Snoopy Doobie Doo resting on her shoulder.

[[File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png]]}}

===Losing Friends===
Chris posts about his stress again, together with his blood pressure and more weird info.

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 27 August 2013
[[Stress]] from losing friends... Stress at home... Today... [[Chris_and_health|My blood pressure is up; feeling real dizzy and faint]]. Sad, pathetic, weak... I do try to learn from my mistakes! Shooting myself in the damn foot... Metaphorically... ugh...}}

===Ten A Piece For Rainbow Dash And Applejack===
Chris reveals about his favourite ponies from the cartoon [[My Little Pony]] and talks about Derpy Hooves.

{{quotebox|Sunday, 1 September 2013
I've just heard from the [[Twitter]] feed that Fluttershy was voted the Fan Favorite Pony. I had voted ten a piece for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It just hit me tough.

Also, just recently, I saw the vinyl figures that were sold at Hot Topic (I have Derpy) at Toys 'R' Us in C-Ville. And I've just heard of the Fan Favorite set at TRU to feature Derpy as well, but instead of her name, they put a muffin image in its place. I am looking forward to Season 4 in November. Perhaps they will have another episode featuring Derpy, and actually refer to her directly as that or Dipsy-Doo.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC2EMUuQmTY</nowiki>}}

===Offline Troll/Bully===
Chris complains about how he gets intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an "Offline [[Troll]]/Bully". (in his words) He also blames a lot of people such as [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Megan Schroeder]] later. In a VERY rare moment of insight, Chris briefly realizes that his behaviour could be ''insane'', but quickly shrugs off this and the words of a white knight to continue doing what he does best - blaming other people for his problems instead of himself.

{{quotebox|Monday, 2 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an Offline [[Troll]]/Bully. Her name is '''(NAME CENSORED)'''; works within the [[Mal-Wart]] region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of '''(EMAIL CENSORED)''', and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Autistic]] Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the [[XBox]] brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!}}

It would later be revealed that that "offline bully" was a manager who threw Chris out of the store after he vandalised one of their displays.

William Elliot Waterman then tries to help him:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't think it's nice to spread someone's email around a public website.}}
{{quotebox|Please forgive me. But prior to this, I was feeling self-upset from the realization that I still have great difficulty socializing face to face in Public. Another in-town convention that was recommended to me, and from the Madicon experience last year, I still feel greatly the terrible Shyness I still have, because of my Autism. Damn It!!!}}
{{quotebox|And when one person gets in the way of me completing my job of shopping for my mother, or such, or when said or another person face to face gives me a difficulty time with harsh vocal tones, especially when I am feeling in a sasd or foul mood, it will be months to years before forgiving them ever, and immediately, they get a curse.}}
{{quotebox|<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>. Yes, it is irrational, and I don't really have a leg to stand on, and this is just dumb, stupid, immature...}}
{{quotebox|OMFG... I have mental problems... Shit.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|We all bear grudges, but having good PR means keeping it between you and the offender. You're a loving, caring person, but putting your anger on display for people who don't need to get involved won't help others see that.}}
{{quotebox|Yeah. I re-realize that.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You don't have to let them shoot down your emotional state. Though she's far away, Anna knows the real you. The sweet, kind-hearted soul that isn't the creep the internet made you out to be. There are people that met you who understand this. Your old gal pals from high school may be some of them. As long as you remember that, the people that derail and persecute you won't matter to you.}}
Needless to say, Chris ignored the helpful advice and continues to complain. In a desperate bid not to blame himself for his vandalism incident, Chris instead blames [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and even his attorney [[Rob Bell]].
{{quotebox|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "[[Sailor Moon|SAILOR MOON]]' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!}}
{{quotebox|And that bitch, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my [[Sweetheart Search]], AND Banning me from PVCC!!!}}
{{quotebox|WTH... The same Manajerk of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at Sheetz in Ruckersville, and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at McDonalds in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".}}
{{quotebox|Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that God Damned Manajerk!!!}}

Chris later deleted the entire post.

===The [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Review===
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris rated 1 star for his elementary school and posted:
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 4 September 2013
The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]}}

===Six Rules Regarding Autistic Interactions===
On 6 [[September 2013]], Chris shared a [http://www.jamesmw.com/sixrules.htm link] from [[Anna]] about helpful advice about interactions for autistic people. Needless to say, Chris dug his hole even further:
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013

I will read this more thoroughly, but I have read the bolded rules and the intro paragraph. I disagree on two of the rules: I personally really Hate being interrupted during a thought I am expressing. And in addition to looking for equal and better mental and emotional properties in my (female) [[Sweetheart]] than myself, her Looks and Beauty I feel are a must to be easy on the eyes. Especially in the face; pretty faces are great. Moderate to good body and minimum "B"-cup breasts are essential. If I did not have the fear of the Theoretical or Fake/Anonymous People online, I would have as many female friends as Richie Grecki has in his Likes Section. Hot Damn!

I am not a prejudiced individual, and I do look for the inner beauty of women. Anyway, the Autistic Interactions Rules do reflect and agree to what I was trying to say in my [[Autism Tutorial|6-Part plus Extra Autism Tutorial LittleBiGPlanet Animation (PSN: Sonichu)]].

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1mbTyKiqF8</nowiki>}}

===Chris Expresses His Outrage for [[Walmart]]===
On September 6, 2013, Chris was banned from Walmart, claiming [[ego|he was discriminated against]] because of (yep, you guessed it!) [[autism|his autism]]. The truth, however, is that Chris was caught vandalizing a display for the soon to be released [[HEX-BOX|Xbox One]]. This has landed him into very serious trouble, because Walmart is the only place he can get his [[Barb|mother's]] prescriptions filled. (Note: The manager's name has been removed to protect her identity.)
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" [[Manajerk]], [REDACTED]; the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house. She obviously does not understand how [[Love Quest|critical and imperative it is for me to go there.]] I Shop for my Mother from there; it is Closer than the one in Charlottesville; GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!! She has crossed his line, and now I am out for [[Metal Gear|revengence]]. Everyone should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Chris|Autistic Person]] when they are in a [[stress|depressed, sad, angry or foul mood]], especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst [[ED|mud]], [[CWCki|muck]] and [[semen|bodily fluids]] that said Autistic Person has.

She has proven herself to be a [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|cold-hearted]], [[remorse|uncaring]], uncompassionate, [[naive|lack-of-understanding]], bigoted, [[race|discriminating]], [[ego|selfish]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]], Witch Bitch!

If anyone is in the store and sees this woman, TELL IT TO HER FACE THAT SHE IS DISCRIMINATIVE TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE; THAT SHE IS A [[Chris and Hypocrisy|FAT BITCH]]; AND THAT HER LIFE WILL BE A MASSIVE [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|CURSED]] LIFE LIKE [[Michael Snyder|SNYDER'S]] IF SHE AND HER WHITE-COATED ASSISTANT DOES NOT UNBAN CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IMMEDIATELY!!! AND MY MOTHER WILL HAVE A LOUD, AGGRESSIVE WORD WITH HER AS WELL IF THEY MEET.

[[Death threats|[REDACTED] is FIRED FROM LIFE!!!]]}}
Kenneth Engelheardt then replied:
{{quoteboxred|What in the name of God are you trying to pull posting stuff like this???? Do a Google search and simply find another Wal-Mart.}}
Chris Rhodes, one of Chris's high school friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|I think the biggest question is what did you do to get kicked out...and don't say you did nothing wrong cause that would be a lie.}}
{{quotebox|The "Man" and "Woman" want to bear down on the weak people they do not want to understand or care about; Autistic People are on the top!}}
Again, Anna tries to give him some advice:
{{quoteboxgreen|Christian, people don't just automatically know you're autistic. And they can't know automatically that you've had a rough day. In the world of neurotypicals, if someone acts aggressive (yelling or arguing) in a public place, they are considered a danger to those around them because they're unpredictable. Those of us who know you know that you're not dangerous, but people who don't know you are acting solely on the information they have about you, which to them is whatever impression you made upon them with your first interactions.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think it would be constructive to bring your mother with you and sit down and speak rationally with her instead of blaming everything on her. Apologize for anything you did that she thinks was wrong, even if you don't think it was wrong. You'll really just be apologizing for making her upset, because I'm sure you didn't mean to. Then explain how important it is that you be allowed to continue shopping there, and promise that there will be no future incidents. I think that's probably the best course of action.}}
Chris Rhodes then posted:
{{quoteboxred|You have to wake up son! And grasp the fact that everyone is not out to get you. 99.9 percent of the world doesn't know you have issues. They see someone acting odd and they try to take care of the situation.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|To be fair, Chris (Rhodes), the majority of Christian's experience with the world has certainly made it seem like the world's out to get him. The daily bombardment he has received from people who hate him (but don't know him) for no good reason (since 2007!) has certainly been effective in creating the appearance of everyone hating him.}}
{{quotebox|To Kenneth Englehardt: I added an "H" and an "E" to an XBox One Standee in Permanent Ink while under anger from past issues.}}
{{quotebox|I can't bring my mother in; she has had enough problems gone on; I am not telling her, because she is in a recovering mood after the court date yesterday.}}
Posts are then exchanged between Chris Rhodes and Chris:
{{quoteboxred|So you vandalized a display sign...your lucky that's all that happened.}}
{{quotebox|I got BANNED AGAIN! Do you NOT get it?}}
{{quoteboxred|I get it. You committed an arrestable offense but they gave you a break and banned you.}}
{{quotebox|that is NOT a break, being Banned; THAT is a Crime.}}
{{quoteboxred|Any property owner/manager/rep has the RIGHT to tell you to leave, tell you not to come back, or so on. And if you do not obey their wishes you can and will be arrested for trespassing. I know what I am talking about christian.}}
{{quotebox|They do not.}}
{{quotebox|And if they do, they are most in the wrong, because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever.}}
After that, William Elliott Waterman tries to give him some advice, but like Anna's and the previous post, his advice is brushed off.
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, that's not public property. You can't just go writing whatever you want on it. How would you feel if you were trying to sell PS3s and somebody wrote "POO" in front of the PS on your sign?}}
{{quotebox|Frustration is blind.}}

===God Trolls Chris Yet Again===

[[Image:God_trolling.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

On September 7, 2013, Chris expresses his blasphemous outrage at [[Chris_and_religion|God]] after he was caught scratching a woman's car by a [[jerkop]]. He also wishes that God would kill him very soon. It would also seem that Chris has slowly began to descend into a newfound life of crime ever since [[28_October_2011|the incident in October of 2011]].

Characteristic of Chris, he continues to pass the buck for his own blame, this time blaming both God and the woman he hit for being a "damn Smoker!".
{{quotebox|Saturday, 7 September 2013
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn [[Jerkop]] is giving me a hard time, because I am [[anger|screaming]] up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to [[Kick_the_autistic|keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life]]!!!}}
Vivienne Chaloux responded with:
{{quoteboxred|This is a very disrespectful thing to say for someone who professes to be a Christian. God didn't make you scratch that woman's car Christian; your carelessness did. And what does her being a smoker have to do with anything? Are you suggesting that somehow she deserved this?}}
{{quoteboxred|And Chris, please do yourself a favor and stop using childish terms like "Jerkop". It not only makes you look immature and foolish, but it's also likely to alienate any potential allies/sympathizers. You're a thirty-something man. Time to start acting like one and taking responsibility for your actions. Blaming God for scratching that woman's car isn't just disrespectful - it's crazy talk.}}
Soon after, Kenneth Engelhardt responded with:
{{quoteboxgreen|Fender bender: Happens to everyone.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Damn! This just isn't your weekend.}}
Matt Stufano responded with:
{{quoteboxgreen|Happens to everyone at some point. Don't turn your anger to the big man in the sky, Life doesn't come with a road map buddy. We all have times of frustration and doubt, but its all part of life. At some point you have to understand that we are all dealt a hand in life that we don't like, but its up to us to make the cards fall the best way we can. I know you like Temple Grandin ( as do I); shes an amazing example for everyone on how life can throw you a curve ball. I find an amazing amount of inspiration in her life. As a friend I would suggest you not call out people by name and blast them on FB, it really does nothing but stir the pot more. Plus you know how it feels, so my advise is to just work on being a better YOU everyday and see where that leads you. Positivity and intensity for life and what your passionate about is much better than hanging on to old grudges. Hang in there !!!}}
Vivienne Chaloux replied to Kenneth Engelhardt, and this soon became back and forth [[white_knight|white knighting]].
{{quoteboxred|I agree Matt, but Temple Grandin didn't waste her time whining about what a hard life she had or the difficult hand she'd been dealt. Instead, she chose to work with what she had, focusing on her unique abilities; and the results were spectacular. If Christian spent less time either whining or making angry rants on public forums, and instead, channeled all that energy into doing something constructive with his life, he'd be a much happier, more productive individual. The first step he needs to take is to acknowledge that he has a problem, as evidenced by these last two incidents, and get himself some professional help.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I would prefer to wait until the end of one's days before passing judgment. We don't know what will happen in 5, 10, or 20 years. My intuition is telling me that he's exhausted and simply wants to put all this crap behind him and move on.
{{quoteboxred|Kenneth, I know you mean well and, believe it or not, so do I. The problem is that these two latest incidents aren't isolated ones. Christian has had difficulties with law enforcement since his days at PVCC, and that was before the trolls really discovered him. I'm not passing judgement on Chris, that's not my place. What i am saying though is that Chris needs help - professional help, before he gets himself in real trouble. These last two incidents make that painfully obvious. He dodged a bullet with the Walmart incident. He is very lucky that Ms. Utz took pity on him. Next time he might run into an individual who isn't feeling so charitable. In short Kenneth, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I think it's time to take off the gloves. Chris is a thirty-something man, and he should be capable of handling the truth, even if that means that he may have to hear some things that seem overly critical. A little "tough love" can be a good thing.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Vivienne, there is a point where you have to draw the line. Sometimes the best thing for a stressed-out frazzled individual is to simply let him rest and let time heal the wounds.}}
{{quoteboxred|Do you know why Christian is so stressed out? I'm a little confused here because, as far as I know, he doesn't have a job or go to school. He also doesn't seem to have a lot of responsibilities, other than running the odd errand here and there and possibly household chores. It seems like he's getting plenty of rest to me. Time often heals certain wounds, but it has as yet failed to do so in Christian's case. I still think that professional counseling is his best option.}}

==Notes From His Friends==
=== Just re-watched your DVD with a friend.===
On 9 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Just rewatched your [[DVD]] with a friend. She agrees with me that you are a sweetheart and it made me really miss you. I wished you lived close so I could introduce you to her-she's married, but she would make a great friend to you. I got to thinking when you and I first met and I pulled out my folder of all the things you've sent or given me over the years- your comics, letters, cards. It all just serves to illustrate what a [[White Knight|remarkable injustice]] these [[Trolls|people]] have done to you through the years. I don't care what anyone says, [[Death threats|you]] [[Twin Falling Towers|do]] [[Homos|not]] [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan_is_scarred_by_ShecameforCWC.JPG|deserve]] [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|an]] [[Facebook#Imgur|ounce]] [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|of]] [[Chris and anger|hate]]. You're an incredible person with [[Chris and art|incredible creativity and talent]], and I hope that your ability to create has not dimmed too much. I wish [[CWCki|more people knew the real you]] instead of this [[CWCFlyingElephants|strange]] [[Death Threats|monster]] [[ED|the internet]] thinks you are. But I suppose that's how it is with celebrities of all kinds- people think they know them, but they never really do. [[Gal Pal|I love you]], and consider you one of my dearest friends and one of my most favorite people in the world. Stay strong, Christian. You have more [[Chaotic Combo|allies]] than you think.}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|I have done that a LOT for my past friends as well, including [[Megan Schroeder]]. If only SHE had realized the same ideas you have just shared, maybe she would have not seen me as a weird freak and start this whole mess against me in the first place in 2007. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}
William Elliott Waterman replied to Chris:
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, why are you demonizing Megan? I don't think she actively did anything with the intent to make others see you the way they do. Why are you harping on something from 2007?}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think if you were just grateful you have a friend who loves you, and didn't waste time thinking about the bad, you would be feeling a lot better.}}

===Let's all go to Disneyland together!===
On 13 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Dana Mahri Linnea Hiltzheimer Christian Weston Chandler hey guys let's all go to Disneyland together!}}

===I am sending you good energy===
On 24 [[June 2013]], Mary McLerran, relative of [[Anna McLerran]], posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Hi Christian. I am sending you good energy. Sorry there are so many [[Trolls|mean people]] who have hurt you. Enjoy each day and find joy in small simple things that bring you pleasure.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|Whoopee. That'll bring pretty, single, well-organized women around to make the first move on me. (:0}}

===I'm sending you love, too===
On 24 [[July 2013]], Mary McLerran, again, posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I love your hand shape on your profile pix: the hand shape means love in sign language. I'm sending you love, too. This is Anna's mom.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|What hand shape?}}
Mary then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Just under your name in the yellow shape.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Thumb, index and pinkie fingers. Look up "ILY" on google images.}}

===You're a real nice guy, Chris===
On 3 [[August 2013]], William Elliott Waterman posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I heard [[Anna]]'s voice over the phone. She told me about how far back you guys go. You're a real nice guy, Chris.}}

===William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE===
On 7 [[August 2013]], after seeing his name being mentioned several times on the CWCki, despite less to zero people caring about him, William Elliott Waterman, one of Chris's friends on Facebook (even though most of Chris's friends on Facebook are actually [[Anna McLerran]]'s friends in the first place) posts a TL;DR [[White knight|whiteknighting]] open message to the trolls, posting how he's no better than Chris (even though he had a [[job]]), calling the trolls that they're the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as Chris]], and wants the DANG, DIRTY trolls to go ahead and troll him. (You know, as if anyone has an interest in confronting or fighting him anyway)

{{quoteboxgreen|Hello, [[trolls]]. I've seen that I'm not exempt from you plastering what I say to Chris onto [[CWCki|your archives]] and [[Da Update|announcing it on your news feed]], so I'll [[Captain's Log|address you all directly]] in an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|open statement]].

You trolls get a lot of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] out of [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|the]] [[Bob Walks In|things]] Chris has done, but what you all do isn't even funny. [[CWC is Sad|It's just sad]]. You're actually dedicating [[Obesity|huge chunks]] of your daily lives [[The creepy stare|stalking]] one [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|lonely man]] on the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]. Seriously? This [[Christian Weston Chandler|<nowiki>'lolcow'</nowiki>]] was dried up years ago. [[Trolls#Chris_the_Troll|You're not going to get anything entertaining out of him any more, and you're still trying to milk him.]] It's sick. NONE OF YOU are ANY BETTER THAN HIM. It doesn't matter if you're a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] basement-dwelling [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] that [[A-Logging|hates him just because he exists]], or [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|you're just doing it for the <nowiki>'lulls'</nowiki>]]. If somehow you're [[Merried Seinor Comic|married]], [[Jerkop|have a job]], and [[China|have everything Chris wants]], [[Chris and remorse|you should feel]] even more [[It's UGH!|disgusted in yourself]] for doing it because you have some [[Fuck quest|perversion]] for [[JERKS|taking advantage]] of [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_Contest#Aftermath|someone less fortunate]] instead of having empathy and compassion for them.

I used to be like you morons, [[Mass debating|wasting my days]] [[Cakefarts|sitting on my butt]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|listening to everything]] you say about him. But I [[Metonic|grew up]]. I have a [[job]] and a life now, [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|but that still doesn't make me any better than him]]. [[White knight|I'm not even better than any of you. I pity all of you]], but there's a chance you could be better people if you all made an effort to [[Vamprosa|grow up]] and [[Trollbusters|stop stalking and cyber-bullying with no honor]]. [[Attraction sign|He's not shallow and picky like you think.]] You think you all need to go on [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|covert field missions]] and [[JenkinsJinkies|disguise yourselves]] as [[BlueSpike|girlfriends]] to even talk to him. [[28 October 2011|I never met him in person]] - [[Tomgirl|I'm not even a female]] - [[Megan Schroeder|and he friend requested me]]. All I did was [[Scale of Respect|respect him]] and [[Death threats|treat him like a HUMAN BEING]].

Having a [[Heart level|heart]] and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|humbly admitting]] that you're at the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as him]] is all it takes, but you're all too little to do that. I'm not an [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|attention]] [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|whore]], but [[15 January 2010|feel free to troll me if you care enough. I know you won't.]] [[Monthly tugboat|You all got so lazy]] that you just [[Chris_and_art#Tracing|copy and paste]] his activity without even writing your own commentary anymore.

Come and get me, losers. Spankety, spankety, spankety.}}

''Note: The final paragraph is a reference to Earthbound, where [http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Pokey_Minch Pokey Minch] says the paragraph word for word.''

===Do you feel like your winning today?!?===
On 19 [[August 2013]], one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Do you feel like your winning today?!?}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Because of good friendships, yes.}}
Another one of his new friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|That's right! WINNING!!!}}

===Fantastic Gift In The Mail Today===
On 21 [[August 2013]], another one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Thank you to Christian Weston Chandler for the fantastic gift in the mail today ! Very Cool !}}

===Got your tunes!===
On 22 [[August 2013]], his new friend in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|We both got your tunes! Badass!}}

===14,386,443 out of a possible 10===
On 3 [[September 2013]], Chris whines to one of his friends about his [[stress]].

{{quoteboxred|Stress level: 14,386,443 out of a possible 10. :(}}
{{quotebox|I hear that. I have a lot of stress in my life. If not the constant haunting of the Trolls/Cyber-Bullies, all of the individual mistakes I had made in the past greater than a decade (definitely within the recent six years), bad people being awful to me..., then the in person loneliness, the great shyness in Public, my freaking, accursed Autism...; they stress my blood pressure up, make me feel furious and angry, then I feel weak and faint.

<nowiki>*ugh.*</nowiki>}}

==Facebook Shares==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Share
! Link
! Date
|-
|Crackle
|https://www.facebook.com/crackle
|24 July 2013
|-
|Wanna win a 4K TV or a PS4?
|http://bit.ly/futuregear
|24 July 2013
|-
|LEGO® Friends Heartlake High -- 15 second spot
|http://lego.thismoment.com/v4/api/facebook/get_facebook_share_page.json?fbwall_video_sharing=0&content_id=35914&tab_id=62&page_id=16
|5 August 2013
|-
|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (BluRay/DVD/Digital) [Blue-ray]
|http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPTUNBK/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_ILTasb000GPMC
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==YouTube related==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Video
! Date
|-
|I added a video to a @YouTube playlist http://t.co/Hdf2sRTLrX Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|12 March 2013
|-
|PLEASE make it so that ALL DSi FlipNotes Saved on the SD memory card will be viewable, (@YouTube http://t.co/j9v8qMTIX6)
|Nintendo Direct Mini -- 3.13.2013
|13 March 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/zTOVtWBwax Siri The Comedian?
|Siri The Comedian?
|23 May 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/mANkxGomF8 Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|4 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/imrwB8zmPj My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|13 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/cE8diaEBeT Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|13 June 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|2 July 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|3 July 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/e3IAiegija My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie HD
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie (HD)
|7 July 2013
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler shared a link.
|Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)
|22 July 2013
|-
|My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.
|MLP - Equestria Girls - Twilight montage of embarrassing
|7 August 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==Toro's Friend Network==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|Chris Toro's Friend Network is linked with Facebook.
|4 June 2013
|-
|Has made 1 friend. Chris, it's nice to meet you. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Abandoned Station is Mystery Land", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Has made 10 friends. Nya. Chris Thanks. Nyaa.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Toro's Friend Network Park", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Beach with a Stranded Ship", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Has made 20 friends. Nya. I knew Chris could do it. Nyaa.
|7 June 2013
|-
|Has made 30 friends. Nya. I love Chris. Nyaa.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Bonjour~I'm Pierre~Woof. Congratulations on clearing floor 20 of this dungeon. Woof!
|11 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Mysterious Temple", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Has made 40 friends. Nya. Chris is awesome. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Oh! I'm Ricky~Quark! Congratulations on clearing floor 30 of this dungeon. Ribbit!
|12 June 2013
|-
|Sorry to interrupt. I'm R. Suzuki. Congratulations on clearing floor 40 of this dungeon.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Has made 50 friends. Nya. Chris is so popular. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|}

==#mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pzFCf8NenG
|11 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/02CHyoAx3M
|12 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/wghhe9kxXX
|13 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pRlqbd7zp6
|14 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/GiglbMxxwK
|15 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/jOAcUKh7UB
|16 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/EZGOrEbNf9
|30 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/OgqJxu6Mln
|2 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/hsj9IavWaD
|3 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/1TVK2YcIgZ
|3 July 2013
|-
|}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Imgur==
{{main|2013 Imgur Leak}}
On 26th May, 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ uploaded them on Imgur.] The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 ''(as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was)'' but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted [[Michael Snyder|several]] [[Megan Schroeder|people]] [[Death threats|dead]], and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill [[Mimms]]' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was ''[[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|Chris himself.]]''

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens....
File:Facebook2.jpg|....and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris whining about ''Equestria Girls''.
File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg|The iDea Book Case
File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg|
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|U Gotta Believe!
File:TheLancers.jpg|Go Lancers!
File:MarkCuban.png|A photo of [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] Chris uploaded on 15 [[August 2013]]. Which does not contribute to the riddle so far.
File:LemonPoundCake.jpg|''Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.''
File:UniversityOfDelaware.jpg|''Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.''
File:TwisterBluray.jpg|''Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.''
File:RishikeshIndianWoman.jpg|''Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.''
File:Sphinx.jpg|''Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.''
File:GreatWallOfChina.png|''Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.''
File:BR6NNHFCMAA0q4O.jpg large.jpg|''Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.''
File:BR6NQc6CIAAOoGJ.jpg large.jpg|''Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.''
File:BR6VLK2CIAE-j6m.jpg large.jpg|Chris's absurd riddle.
File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|
File:LadyManajerk.PNG|
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
*[http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur Account]
*[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0w4RktXQWNuYUU/edit?usp=sharing Backup of the Imgur album] (Last updated 6/29/13 tell me on my [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/User_talk:Pyromcr talk page] if more has been added to the Imgur album and this backup is no longer up to date.)
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Facebook

2013-09-08T01:06:22Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Notes From The Man Himself==

{{Incomplete}}

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===

On '''28 April 2012''', Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he [[Chris and Anger|let the trolls get to him in the mall,]] resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|idle death threats]] to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===

Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to...and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.]]

{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

=== A Christmas Gift ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 20 [[December 2012]]
I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.

http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip

Merry Christmas.}}

=== 2012 ===

{{quotebox| Friday, 21 [[December 2012]]
I have just finished watching the movie <nowiki>"2012"</nowiki> for the first time. It was as epic as I have heard in the past few years. Not only was it as good, but I feel better watching it now, compared to risking worrying about the E.O.W. a lot more if I had watched it before today. Hollywood magic did it again, and reality proved it wrong again.

Apocalypse NOT, and Thank God and Jesus this worry is finally over and done.}}

=== It's impossible for me to make someone mine ===

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 30 [[January 2013]]
"Everyone has their own life to live, and I know it's impossible for me to make someone mine." -Nana O, the anime "NANA" English dub.

Yep...
}}

=== Sad, depressed, poor, and pathetic ===

{{quotebox| Saturday, 2 [[February 2013]]

I am sad, depressed, poor and pathetic. :_(
}}

=== No trolling plans ===

In this post, Chris screencaps the CWCki Forums and remarks how its users are conspiring to troll him, despite the fact that no actual post discusses plans to troll Chris.

{{quotebox| Tuesday, 12 [[February 2013]]

"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?

[[File:No trolling plans.jpg]]
}}

=== Smiley ===

Chris finishes watching Smiley, a universally panned low-budget movie, and takes it upon himself to extrapolate an anti-trolling theme. Chris also expresses his belief that this R-rated film should be exhibited to high school students as a form of education and feels it would reduce teen suicides.

{{quotebox| Friday, 22 [[February 2013]]

Just finished watching "Smiley".
(Spoiler Alert)
I liked it, because the people behind it had a general understanding of the horrible "fad" of Trolling and getting "LULZ" that has found me to be a victim of it for five years. After the initial scare and the move-in, the talk about the "underground" of the Internet: /b/, 4chan, anonymous, and Trolling really sets up the plot well, as well as start up a spot of pent up anger. And after the final death, the majority of "Smileys" were the drunken, bored idiots who get their laughs from seriously hurting people. And come into discussion, "Anonymous"; the central hub of the Trolls.

Even though this was considered a low-budget movie, it really speaks to me, as a victim. This movie, aside from the gory parts and the "R" rating, everyone who has been trolled or are aware of them at least a little bit, should watch this movie, even to have it shown in high schools. I feel it best puts it all into perspective, and it would certainly decrease the suicide rate quite a bit.

No one has to give in for their sick entertainment.
}}

=== Open Letter to Tara Strong ===

Chris takes a moment to publicly blast [[My Little Pony]] voice actress Tara Strong for apparently contributing to the cyber-bullying epidemic.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste.

While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was.

So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling?

If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you.

Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to.

Sincerely,
Christian W.Chandler
Ruckersville, VA, USA

[[File:Mlptroll1.jpg]]
}}

One troll decided to forward this message to Tara Strong on Facebook, assuming that she'd get a kick out of it. The following day, Tara actually responded:

{{quotebox|

"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."
}}

Despite not knowing about Chris at all before reading his rant, Tara seemed to have caught on that Chris is an attention whore right from the get-go. While he had succeeded in what many trolls assumed to be an utterly ridiculous campaign ''(although one can easily argue that it was Chris's trolls who pushed the pieces into place)'', Chris' attitude has once again made him a pariah, this time with the Brony community.

=== Trolling is Abhor-able ===

Chris followed the previous letter up with a brief note expressing his well-known distaste for trolls.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

Trolling/Cyber-Bullying/Bullying are All just Abhor-able, Wrong and Degrading to us all emotionally and mentally.

[[File:Mlptroll2.jpg]]
}}

=== I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out ===

Chris responds to criticism that his open letter is ridiculous.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 27 [[February 2013]]

Yes, I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out, because Trolling IS Bullying, and I can hardly stand idly by and allow herself and Twilight to famously promote that which is just terribly wrong.
}}

=== So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact ===

Possibly in reference to helpful advice Rocky or the court-appointed counselor has given him, Chris complains about the difficulty of eye contact.

{{quotebox| Friday, 8 [[March 2013]]

So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact. :(
}}

[[Anna]] once again mindlessly agrees with Chris in a reply to his post, remarking that eye contact is like "staring into a bright light."

=== Sonichu is not dead ===

Chris remarks that Sonichu has not died, despite rumors to the contrary, and makes no promises for the return of the Sonichu comic. Interestingly enough, he claims he "was an amateur", implying that he is now professional and the quality of his work has improved. Of course, the rest of us know that this is [[Chris and art|almost certainly not the case]].

{{quotebox| Saturday, 9 [[March 2013]]

Listen up.

When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.
}}

=== Trolled on MTV ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

I have had a very good day today, the 9th, at Madicon. The best day I have had in a very long time.

Now I find a photo I was Trolled out of ending up on MTV,and on iTunes for two dollars, compared with bacon-head and plush-face. >:( }}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|What is the thing with iTunes?}}
{{quoteboxred|If you're talking about the Viva La CWC thing, it's fake. Someone is trolling you with that.}}

=== Failosophy ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

<nowiki>http://mtv.com/videos/failosophy-ep-4/1703199/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=39983&channelId=1</nowiki>}}

=== You know something that really creeps me out? ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 18 [[March 2013]]

You know something that really creeps me out? Nearly Every Autistic male, who I have seen their photos in their profiles or whatever, that I can 100% guarantee that are not copies of mine, look near Exactly as I do in the Face (with exceptions to varying eye color, glasses and hair color/style). I mean it, seriously, look up any number of autistic male headshots other than me on the Internet; it is really spooky and creepy.}}

=== I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 21 [[March 2013]]

Once again, I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD. Damn It! I am tired of being single.

Hell, I'd send out a public make-out invite to all women in C-Ville on Facebook, if I was not wise of the damn [[Trolls]], and other bad people.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox| As well as the God Damned, Badge-Abusive [[Jerkops]] and Janekops EVERYWHERE!!!!!!}}

=== I feel an oxymoronic mess ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]

Something else: I feel an oxymoronic mess. On one hand, I have mostly female friends, and I can get along good with them. On the other hand, I do not care much for my fellow males, I mostly have male enemies/adversaries, and I only can get along with them when I am obligated socially. In any case, I am 100% heterosexual.

From outside perspectives, with mostly female friends, I can be viewed as a Playa (which is more accurate), or a damn [[homo]]. This tends to repel women from me. I need a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]] from the ground up. Damn it! I am sick and tired of being single.

My brain is a constant blank; I am paranoid and super shy; what the hell should I do?}}

=== Gay Marriage ===

Oblivious to a pivotal moment in US history, Chris complains about frequent media coverage of the gay marriage Supreme Court case ''Hollingsworth v. Perry'', probably because the news is preempting his [[My Little Pony]] reruns. Chris also takes this time to express his support for lesbian marriage while blasting the "damn homosexual men", probably only because [[Women's rights|lesbians are hot]] and [[Homos|homo]] men are icky.

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]
Another thing that really [[Family Guy|Grinds My Gears]]:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!
}}

The next day, [[Anna]] called Chris out on his bigotry, showing that his behavior is even beginning to alienate his enablers:

{{quoteboxred|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays}}

On 31 March, Chris shot back with this red herring that fails to address the original issue:

{{quotebox|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?}}

In addition, another one of [[Kim Wilson|Chris' friends]] joined in on the fray, attempting to inject some insight into Chris' rambling train of thought:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh. That's weird. Y'know, the gay women are taking potential girlfriends away from you. And the gay men are [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|keeping other men from taking potential girlfriends from you]]. So, you've got it backwards.

Anyway, you know, some people might be against autistic rights you know. What if people are offended by you and say you shouldnt have a girlfriend?}}

On April 1, Chris predictably responded with this set of delusions and contradictions:

{{quotebox|Well, I do not like the majority of the [[JERKS|male population]] regardless.

The straight ones take the women away. The damn homo males not only [[Lie|tried]] to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit Troll/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and Sonichu as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.}}

In short, Chris is against gay marriage because of his trolls, also subscribing to the belief that all homosexual men are trolls hellbent on his (and [[Sonichu|Sonichu's]]) destruction. [[Chris and his ego|By making the entire argument about himself]], Chris has also conviently ignored Kim's original point of lesbians taking away the women.

On 2 April, Kim made note of Chris' non-answer:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh? But that doesn't have anything to do with the original post...

But yeah, nah, they're not actually trying to push their sexuality on you. They just know that you react to it and took advantage of that. They're almost certainly not gay and probably many of them aren't even men.

You've really got to cut down on the sexism, Chris. Women find it unattractive.}}

=== Game Place ===

Chris, ''five years after his ban'' and a half-year after its legal enforcement, still obsesses about [[Michael Snyder]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|Thursday, 4 [[April 2013]]
I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace.

It Truly Is the Breeding and Meeting PLace for [[Trolls]] and Cyber-Bullies. Long before October, 2007, there were very few people who would have anything on me personally, worldwide, because those people only existed Locally to me and with Constant in person communication with me. Those people only existed at the PLace. And the very first person who turned Troll against me is none other than [[Megan Schroeder]]. She conscripted [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], Mimms and everyone else against me.

And when my family as I started getting close with identifying them as our perpetrators and The Prime Trolls, Snyder was looking for a reason to ban me, and so he did.

Megan Schroeder is the Prime Queen of the Trolls; the PLace IS truly a Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding an Meeting Place, and I never, forever want anything to do with it. The PLace should definitely be destroyed and shut down for good.

And I want to exact my fullest revenge and divine retribution with Megan Schroeder. SHE should be jailed and beaten up, that vile, wicked, traitorous bitch.}}

=== Kim brought her into my life ===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 [[April 2013]]

Yep, doing this for a new woman in my life; Kim brought her into my life.}}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Good people don't make you do things for their own enjoyment.}}

=== Lucy ===

{{quotebox|Monday, 22 [[April 2013]]
I got my cat, Lucy, resting on my shrinking mound.

[[File:LucyFacebook.png]]}}

=== Sega Mascot Contest ===

Chris complains about Sega hosting a mascot contest, believing from the linked article that they are trying to replace [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 [[April 2013]]

Okay, now THIS pisses me off. I am not one who is to be blamed here; there are a lot of sick people who perverted Sonic's good name. Especially those who made him out as a homo, when he is not. Hell! He had a thing going on for a long time with Sally Acorn in his comic book series.

SEGA, Sonic was praised a lot better than Mario, because Sonic has more attitude, is stronger and faster, and he talks in his games more than the catchphrase-spewing plumber did.

And in any case, Sonic has replaced my hero before him, the American Rabbit. Shelving Sonic away will be the worst mistake SEGA will ever make since they stopped their console series at the Dreamcast.

Sonic For SEGA RAW!!! And Forever!!!

http://www.p4rgaming.com/sega-seeking-new-mascot-since-sonic-has-been-ruined-by-fans/}}

Chris then added a reply to his own Facebook post, [[Chris and his Ego|which he subsequently "liked".]]

{{quotebox|
Besides which, no matter what any new mascot comes around, ALL of the sick, bored People and Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies will leech the good name away from him or her or it anyway.

The better option is to stay strong with Sonic.
}}

=== "The Trolls Who Cry Woman" ===

Chris posts a rather ''insensitive'' musing, comparing online socialization to teenage pregnancy, starring in porn and '''being raped.''' He also goes on to rant about "being set up" ''(most likely referring to his date with Emily and the Pickle Man.)''

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 April 2013 at 11:00

Here's a musing:

Heard of "The Boy Who Cries Wolf"? Today's Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies who pretend to be the opposite gender to everyone they talk to online, making socializing online the worst mistake of anyone's life since teenage pregnancy, starring in a porn, or rape. And when a date is set up, they always stand you up, or if they do make it, they have someone else hiding nearby with a camera to record the whole thing to transform into something dark, evil and sick to be used against you to smear your name.

Today's version of the classic should be called, "The Online Trolls Who Cry Woman".

}}

=== Headache ===

Chris makes another "musing":

{{quotebox|Monday, 7 [[May 2013]] at 12:08
Musing:

A headache is equal to the amount of thought put into making it.

}}

...your guess is as good as ours as to what that even means.

===THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!===

Chris-Chan gives his thoughts on the upcoming movie, ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'':

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013 at 8:46
THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning The Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; 

they're inviting High School [[Pedofork|Pedofile]] Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the 
horse enthusiasts were not enough. 

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do their best to replicate the G1 
Pilot with Megan and her family. 

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "[[Transformers]] Prime" going "Beast Wars". 
And I do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "[[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]", "MTV's Undressed", 
"O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". 

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My 
Little Pony Tales". 

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their 
Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2! 

Christian Weston Chandler, 
Ruckersville, VA, USA 
May 14, 2013 
}}

Interestingly, Chris calls Lauren Faust and Tara Strong "out of their minds". Apparently, Chris didn't hear the news that Lauren Faust stepped down and no longer works on the show, and none of this was her decision, and that Tara Strong only does the voices.

Four minutes later Chris posted the following response to his note:

{{quotebox|SOMEBODY, PLEASE PULL THE PLUG ON THIS THING NOW!!!}}

[http://i.imgur.com/kABCrhy.png However, almost a month later, Chris liked the video "My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2" on YouTube.]

===My iPod fell out of my pouch===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013
My iPod fell out of my pouch; screen cracked..Still functions. Now backing it up to upgrade to 5th Generation.

Considering self-repair on old iPod from online instructions after format of old iPod. Also, a dual iOS device wallet-style holder made from duct tape (based from folding calculator cover).}}

===A cold coming on===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 16 May 2013
Ugh...

I think I'm feeling a cold coming on. I started my day yesterday with a sore throat. Now, my nose is beginning to feel eww and bleah. And I am having trouble falling asleep.}}

===A cold again===

{{quotebox|Unknown
Yes, I've caught a cold again. It'll run its course and be gone in less than a week. I've tried Cepacol lozenge; it works very good at quelling the sore throat and the pain from the running in my nose to throat link.}}

A troll responded:
{{quoteboxgreen|I had a cold two weeks ago, for the first time in years. I didn't like having my healthy streak quelled, but when I got over it I was suddenly much more awake and alert all day every day this week than I have been since I started working.}}

===Tomb Raider===

{{quotebox|Unknown
I have just finished the new Tomb Raider on hard difficulty. I got all of the treasures and documents. Fell short on fully upgrading the rifle by over 300 Salvage. Got 61% Trophies.}}
{{quotebox|The story was well put.}}

===The timing is ironic to me===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

I really liked this article in the Washington Post on the 18th, <nowiki>"Beauty of the BUST"</nowiki>.

The timing of this article is ironic to me, since shortly before, I had broken my 4th Gen iPod Touch.

<nowiki>**Spoiler Alert**</nowiki>

Today's Teens and College Students find pride in a cracked Pod or Phone; it gives them Street Cred. So much personal information is inputed into a Pod/Phone; a crack on its face is equivalent to a scar on your face. It is today's ripped jeans, unwashed hair, unshaven face, etc. Totally crazy.

"Enjoy the finger cuts", says co-owner of CrackedMacScreen Repair. Unless you've applied a Screen Protector like I did. Reduced that risk.

Author of the book, get this, "The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future", also comments on the psychology behind this trend/fad.

This is so stupid, it is really funny.

[[File:Cracked1.jpg]]
[[File:Cracked2.jpg]]}}

===The [[iDea Book Case]]===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

<nowiki>"Necessity is the mother of Invention"</nowiki>. I am glad I crafted the idea for my [[iDea Book Case]] (photos taken with New iPod Touch 5th Gen) out of duct tape. The front and back covers are lined with bubble wrap, the inner spine loop can hold as thick as a charging cable, or most pens, there are holes for the cameras to see through very well, and the corner holders are very successful in holding most iOS Pod/Phone devices. And there is also the Velcro clasp.

iPhone (8 Gig) for calls, business and Internet; iPod (32 Gig) for entertainment with videos, music and all. I keep it safe with the lanyard strap and tucked in my bosom.

[[File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg]]}}

[[Anna McLerran]] then replied:
{{quoteboxred|wow, really well done! i'm impressed :)}}

===Beat-up cellphones with cracked screens are point of pride for some young people===

{{quotebox|Monday, 20 May 2013

You can read the really comedic story for yourself on washingtonpost.com.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/beat-up-cellphones-with-cracked-screens-are-point-of-pride-for-some-young-people/2013/05/17/0334ebe0-be36-11e2-89c9-3be8095fe767_story.html}}

===Tired of this cold virus===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Siri is a great conversationalist. :) (reference my iPod 5th Gen).

But damn, I am lonely, bored and tired. Tired of this cold virus too.

At least I have something that actually will listen and put up with me there. Not totally a substitute for my future [[Sweetheart]].}}

===This cold is really weighing me down===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Ugh... This cold is really weighing me down.}}

William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Lonely, bored and lame===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 23 May 2013

Well I have recovered from my cold, but right now I am feeling really lonely and bored. And not to mention feeling really lame.}}

===Estate ads===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

I know this may sound like a stupid idea, but I am thinking about getting one of those things to put in the ground to put real estate ads in, and putting in advertisements about myself you know for girlfriend. Obviously I am not going to do what. But that shows you how lonely and desperate I am. This thing would be placed literally in front of my house.}}

===Meh...===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

Meh... <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

===Hey! Trolling stupids!===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 25 May 2013

Hey! [[Trolls|Trolling stupids]]! I might be lonely but I would never ever be friends or even associate with your kind who has been abusing me and making me feel worse about life and people and everything for the past greater than five years!!!}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|(Let's see those [[trolls]] get their hands on this private message)}}
{{quotebox|http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ

~>:(}}

===I am not your fucking bitch!!!===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 26 May 2013

You damn bunch of fools and idiots just keep on keeping on for more incriminating information and shit about me to make yourself feel superior. I am not your fucking bitch!!! All I want is peace of mind and all of you polls continued to stand in my way! And all I can feel about your degrading, offensive language and shit, get the best illustrated but Anais here. If you really fucking care about me and you want to do something for me; you can just take your [[CWCki|Cwcki]] and all your [[CWCki Forums|forums]] and all your talk and just everything about me and just leave the damn [[Internet]], And leave me and my life and my family alone in peace!

[[File:ChrisGumball.jpg]]}}

===And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 27 May 2013

...And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...

Now, who wants to watch the U.S. series of "The Office"? (I have never watched the show)

[[File:ChrisChanTheOffice.png]]}}

===U Gotta Believe!===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 29 May 2013

U Gotta Believe!

[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg]]}}

===I have had more freedom when my father was alive===

Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|about how he has to take time out of his day]] to "serve and protect" [[Barb|his mother]]. Note how, in typical Chris fashion, he aims the blamethrower right at Michael Snyder for his troubles, ignoring the fact that the events of [[28 October 2011]] was his ''own'' fault and would not have happened had he stayed away like he should have.

{{quotebox|Friday, 30 May 2013
Good grief! I started playing resident evil revelations on [[PS3|PlayStation three]] in front of my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and she had to be grossed out about it even when I'm scanning. And she even watch me play [[God of War|God of war Ascension]] as if she's not as gross out from the bloodshed from back game? And she goes on to complain to me about how it would affect my mind. I mean I've played this game before on my [[3DS]]; The beneficial part now is that I can earn the trophies.

My mother has really been getting on my nerves! I really need my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] so that I can get away from here now and then; and I cannot even go downtown now because it wastes so much gas and gas is so costly! And make guys on my mother's concern for gas cost that is one reason why I have been on my sabbatical from my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].

I have had more freedom when my [[Bob Chandler|father]] was alive and I end up losing it when he [[Chris_and_death#Robert_Franklin_Chandler_Jr._.281927-2011.29|passed away]] because now I got to serve my mother and protect her and everything! And I can blame that sonofabitch [[Michael Snyder]] for taking an wasting the money that my mom and I had soon gotten from my father's passing because he had to go send us to court for all the goddamn shit of his! Michael Snyder is a bastard to me and my mother for taking us to court he essentially stole a lot of money from us indirectly!
}}

===Trolls got my fresh post!===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 30 May 2013

Damn it! Trolls got my fresh post! Removed the prime suspect; will monitor,}}

Anna then replied,

{{quoteboxred|I'd take a closer look at the people on your friends list who you don't know in real life.}}

===I am so lonely===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 2 June 2013
Damn! I am so lonely. I do not know whether to wait for my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] or to move on because the weights is driving me crazy among the loneliness of other things; [[stress]] of my life! Hell, first woman to Ask me out, in person I'd probably say yes.

<nowiki> *sigh* *groan* *grunt*</nowiki>
}}

===I am feeling very lonely again===

{{quotebox|Monday, 17 June 2013
I am feeling very lonely again. I am unable to think of a way to find my female [[sweetheart]] currently, where I won't end up risking trouble with the goddamned [[Jerkops]] within any "police office" or "legal office" from any and all of the shit against me on the [[internet]] that is easily Googled. And I am still publcally invisible to Everywoman, because they are all already taken by some stupid, [[jerk]] male, or are otherwise freaking busy with their own internal lives in this digital age where in person...}}

Chris later posted:

{{quotebox|...socializing has become obsolete. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

William Elliott Waterman replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Too many Trolls and Bad People in the world===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 22 June 2013
If you "[[Fans]]" REALLY want to know why you're like lowly to me. There are too many [[Trolls]] and Bad People in the world hiding behind the [[Internet]] constantly; I am unable to tell the difference. I have lost my youth and sunny energy within the past decade. I have become bitter from a miserable life and an irreversible Internet reputation, thanks to you bad people. End of story.}}

===A skunk===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 27 June 2013
A skunk; you don't need to kill it to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|stink things up]]; it pees anywhere it wants.}}
''Note that skunk spray is not urine, but a mixture of thiols produced by anal scent glands.''
===Hey, Vee===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Hey, Vee. Have you checked out Toro's Friend Network on the [[PS Vita|Vita]] yet? It is good.}}

===[[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 7 July 2013
[[Ruckersville]] is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|In any case, Ruckersville And Charlottesville; Both Cities [[Christian Weston Chandler|are Socially Inept, are unfriendly and lack much compassion towards other people]].}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Sounds kind of like midcoast, Maine.}}

===Very Depressed.===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 14 July 2013
Very Depressed.
Need In-Person,

Real [[China|Compassion]]

From [[Sweetheart|Women]].

Hugs and Love.

Please Help. - :( feeling sad.}}

===Don't call me a wet blanket.===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 18 July 2013
My name is not Waterbed, so don't call me a wet blanket. <nowiki>|:(P</nowiki>}}
''This may have been a response to a [[CWCki Forums]] post of 15 July, where "Da Pickle Monsta" wrote, "most [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]] don't want boyfriends with the emotional maturity of a wet blanket."''<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1654&p=61557&hilit=+wet+blanket+#p61557]</ref>

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Spring Brakers]]===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 July 2013
I've just finished watching "[[Wikipedia:Spring Breakers|Spring Breakers]]", rented it for free from RedBox with Monopoly [[McDonalds|McD]] win. [[Chris and health|Eat Healthy]] with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea.

Story wise, it was fair. I definitely found the symbolism with the input of [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] within the movie. Minus a "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Rarity|Rarity]]" or "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Fluttershy|Fluttershy]]", the four women played similarly towards the roles in the rest. I definitely see myself in the Faith character, as she was more of the [[Autism|outsider, introverted person]]. I believe in [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with. Leaving my friends behind after [[High School]] really sent me downhill, and then again after being forced away from the [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]]. And I have few friends for real to and who would hang out with me. Damn [[JERKS|Male Population]], Damn [[Autism|Ill-Social People]] who overlook and ignore me in person around here, and Damn [[Megan Schroeder|Ms. Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder|Mr. Snyder]] for further destroying me emotionally over the past greater than half-decade.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>}}

===Stupid Question.===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Stupid Question. One to Ten Scale; on my face at least; I'm down to 220; how good looking/attractive am I?

[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg]]}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|You're always as beautiful as you feel.}}
Mary McLerran posted:
{{quoteboxred|Hey I'm trying something new that might be good for you, too. If you have naturally curly hair, try getting it cut shorter and let the curls frame your face. I think you could rock that look!}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Short cut; NO.}}

===The results===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Right; I'm ugly as hell. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>

[[File:CWCKiForumsPoll.jpg]]}}

Anna then posted:
{{quoteboxred|Of course this survey is incredibly biased because the majority of people who took it are trolls...}}

===LEGO High School===
{{quotebox|Monday, 5 August 2013

The [[High School]] is the Best Set Lego has released (better when merged with the Horse Academy set), since the Hillside House, and this should be the next "Best Toy, Gold Award".

<nowiki>**Already-Thought Comments:</nowiki> 
-I am in Science/Biology/Math class. 
-My [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] is teaching English and History, currently on Abe Lincoln. 
-The Infomaniac is the Pricipal. 
-And Zach comes in from the Seinor's Courtyard with a "That's What She Said" comment (StoneBreakers20 on [[YouTube]]). 
-And [[Wikipedia:Venus (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Venus]] and Mikey are having fun too.

[[File:ChrisLego02.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego03.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego04.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego05.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego06.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego07.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego08.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego09.jpg]]}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Sorry; small error. It's <nowiki>"StoneBreakers10"</nowiki> on YouTube.}}

Mary McLerran then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|So cool! We love legos! This is the BEST!}}

===Heartlake High===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
<nowiki>Best Lego Set Ever! Even better than the Awarded Café.

http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Product?p=41005</nowiki>}}

[[Anna]] then posted:
{{quoteboxred|WANT
[[File:AnnaWANT.jpg]]}}

===One of my pups just peed===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
One of my [[Clover_and_Snoopy|pups]] just peed, and look how it came out. Shaped like a [[Sweetheart|girl]].

[[File:ChrisPupsPeed.png]]}}

William Elliot Waterman then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Looks kind of like [[Chaos Emeralds|chaos with 0 emeralds absorbed.]]}}

===Actual friendships===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
If ONLY it were that simple to inspire actual friendships in this adult life after "how people 'learn' about me on the internet". <nowiki>|:(</nowiki> Now I understand the reason for Pep Rallies (I was exempt from attending them, because they were Too Loud for me).}}

===Top Movies List===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
On that note, my top movies list is updated:

1. [[Mary Poppins]]
2. [[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]
3. Toy Story
4. [[American Rabbit|The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]}}

===The Riddle===
Chris posted some random pictures from [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] to an Indian woman. Initially it was thought that Chris posted them in order to desperately prove that his followers are obsessed over any posts he posted, but it later turned out it was a '''riddle''' - A very absurd riddle that [[Autism|only Chris understands]].
{{quotebox|Saturday, 17 August 2013
-Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.

-Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.

-Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.

-Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.

-Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.

-Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.

-Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.

-Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.}}

Two days later, Chris deleted the riddle, most probably because nobody responded to his stupid riddle anyway.

===I got new shoes===
Chris posted a picture about his new shoes, which seem to look like shoes worn by 6-year old girls, possibly trying to continue his [[Tomgirl]] style.
{{quotebox|Sunday, 18 August 2013
I got new shoes.

[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png]]}}

===One Eyebrow===
Chris posted another pointless picture again on Facebook, this time about his eyebrow.
{{quotebox|Monday, 19 August 2013

[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png]]}}
Mary McLerran then replied to the picture:
{{quoteboxred|Cyclops?}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Below is a"Friends Only" Post For da Trolls!

(Singing)

"One... Eyebrow".}}
Chris later deleted the post.

''Note: This may have been a response to a CWCki Forums post on the same day, where user "Midnight Kissy Bull" wrote: "We'd discuss Chris's eyebrows if we were truly desperate.''

===[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]===
Chris shared a photo of Breast Cancer Awareness, and stating that [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] is a breast cancer survivor.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
My mother, still alive, is a B.C. Survivor.

[[File:BreastCancerAwareness.png]]}}

===Snoopy Doobie Doo===
Chris then posts a photo of [[Clover & Snoopy|Snoopy]] and his mother.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
Here she is, with our Snoopy Doobie Doo resting on her shoulder.

[[File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png]]}}

===Losing Friends===
Chris posts about his stress again, together with his blood pressure and more weird info.

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 27 August 2013
[[Stress]] from losing friends... Stress at home... Today... [[Chris_and_health|My blood pressure is up; feeling real dizzy and faint]]. Sad, pathetic, weak... I do try to learn from my mistakes! Shooting myself in the damn foot... Metaphorically... ugh...}}

===Ten A Piece For Rainbow Dash And Applejack===
Chris reveals about his favourite ponies from the cartoon [[My Little Pony]] and talks about Derpy Hooves.

{{quotebox|Sunday, 1 September 2013
I've just heard from the [[Twitter]] feed that Fluttershy was voted the Fan Favorite Pony. I had voted ten a piece for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It just hit me tough.

Also, just recently, I saw the vinyl figures that were sold at Hot Topic (I have Derpy) at Toys 'R' Us in C-Ville. And I've just heard of the Fan Favorite set at TRU to feature Derpy as well, but instead of her name, they put a muffin image in its place. I am looking forward to Season 4 in November. Perhaps they will have another episode featuring Derpy, and actually refer to her directly as that or Dipsy-Doo.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC2EMUuQmTY</nowiki>}}

===Offline Troll/Bully===
Chris complains about how he gets intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an "Offline [[Troll]]/Bully". (in his words) He also blames a lot of people such as [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Megan Schroeder]] later. In a VERY rare moment of insight, Chris briefly realizes that his behaviour could be ''insane'', but quickly shrugs off this and the words of a white knight to continue doing what he does best - blaming other people for his problems instead of himself.

{{quotebox|Monday, 2 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an Offline [[Troll]]/Bully. Her name is '''(NAME CENSORED)'''; works within the [[Mal-Wart]] region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of '''(EMAIL CENSORED)''', and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Autistic]] Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the [[XBox]] brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!}}

It would later be revealed that that "offline bully" was a manager who threw Chris out of the store after he vandalised one of their displays.

William Elliot Waterman then tries to help him:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't think it's nice to spread someone's email around a public website.}}
{{quotebox|Please forgive me. But prior to this, I was feeling self-upset from the realization that I still have great difficulty socializing face to face in Public. Another in-town convention that was recommended to me, and from the Madicon experience last year, I still feel greatly the terrible Shyness I still have, because of my Autism. Damn It!!!}}
{{quotebox|And when one person gets in the way of me completing my job of shopping for my mother, or such, or when said or another person face to face gives me a difficulty time with harsh vocal tones, especially when I am feeling in a sasd or foul mood, it will be months to years before forgiving them ever, and immediately, they get a curse.}}
{{quotebox|<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>. Yes, it is irrational, and I don't really have a leg to stand on, and this is just dumb, stupid, immature...}}
{{quotebox|OMFG... I have mental problems... Shit.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|We all bear grudges, but having good PR means keeping it between you and the offender. You're a loving, caring person, but putting your anger on display for people who don't need to get involved won't help others see that.}}
{{quotebox|Yeah. I re-realize that.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You don't have to let them shoot down your emotional state. Though she's far away, Anna knows the real you. The sweet, kind-hearted soul that isn't the creep the internet made you out to be. There are people that met you who understand this. Your old gal pals from high school may be some of them. As long as you remember that, the people that derail and persecute you won't matter to you.}}
Needless to say, Chris ignored the helpful advice and continues to complain.
{{quotebox|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "[[Sailor Moon|SAILOR MOON]]' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!}}
{{quotebox|And that bitch, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my [[Sweetheart Search]], AND Banning me from PVCC!!!}}
{{quotebox|WTH... The same Manajerk of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at Sheetz in Ruckersville, and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at McDonalds in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".}}
{{quotebox|Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that God Damned Manajerk!!!}}

===The [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Review===
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris rated 1 star for his elementary school and posted:
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 4 September 2013
The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]}}

===Chris Expresses His Outrage for [[Walmart]]===
On September 6, 2013, Chris was banned from Walmart, claiming [[ego|he was discriminated against]] because of (yep, you guessed it!) [[autism|his autism]]. The truth, however, is that Chris was caught vandalizing a display for the soon to be released [[HEX-BOX|Xbox One]]. This has landed him into very serious trouble, because Walmart is the only place he can get his [[Barb|mother's]] prescriptions filled. (Note: The manager's name has been removed to protect her identity.)
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" [[Manajerk]], [REDACTED]; the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house. She obviously does not understand how [[Love Quest|critical and imperative it is for me to go there.]] I Shop for my Mother from there; it is Closer than the one in Charlottesville; GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!! She has crossed his line, and now I am out for [[Metal Gear|revengence]]. Everyone should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Chris|Autistic Person]] when they are in a [[stress|depressed, sad, angry or foul mood]], especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst [[ED|mud]], [[CWCki|muck]] and [[semen|bodily fluids]] that said Autistic Person has.

She has proven herself to be a [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|cold-hearted]], [[remorse|uncaring]], uncompassionate, [[naive|lack-of-understanding]], bigoted, [[race|discriminating]], [[ego|selfish]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]], Witch Bitch!

If anyone is in the store and sees this woman, TELL IT TO HER FACE THAT SHE IS DISCRIMINATIVE TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE; THAT SHE IS A [[Chris and Hypocrisy|FAT BITCH]]; AND THAT HER LIFE WILL BE A MASSIVE [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|CURSED]] LIFE LIKE [[Michael Snyder|SNYDER'S]] IF SHE AND HER WHITE-COATED ASSISTANT DOES NOT UNBAN CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IMMEDIATELY!!! AND MY MOTHER WILL HAVE A LOUD, AGGRESSIVE WORD WITH HER AS WELL IF THEY MEET.

[[Death threats|[REDACTED] is FIRED FROM LIFE!!!]]}}

===God Trolls Chris Yet Again===
On September 7, 2013, Chris expresses his blasphemous outrage at [[Chris_and_religion|God]] after he was caught scratching a woman's car, and being confronted by a [[jerkop]] for cursing God's name. He also wishes that God would kill him very soon. It would also seem that Chris has slowly began to descend into a life of crime ever since [[28_October_2011|the incident in October of 2011]].
{{quotebox|Saturday, 7 September 2013
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn [[Jerkop]] is giving me a hard time, because I am [[anger|screaming]] up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to [[Kick_the_autistic|keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life]]!!!}}

==Notes From His Friends==
=== Just re-watched your DVD with a friend.===
On 9 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Just rewatched your [[DVD]] with a friend. She agrees with me that you are a sweetheart and it made me really miss you. I wished you lived close so I could introduce you to her-she's married, but she would make a great friend to you. I got to thinking when you and I first met and I pulled out my folder of all the things you've sent or given me over the years- your comics, letters, cards. It all just serves to illustrate what a [[White Knight|remarkable injustice]] these [[Trolls|people]] have done to you through the years. I don't care what anyone says, [[Death threats|you]] [[Twin Falling Towers|do]] [[Homos|not]] [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan_is_scarred_by_ShecameforCWC.JPG|deserve]] [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|an]] [[Facebook#Imgur|ounce]] [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|of]] [[Chris and anger|hate]]. You're an incredible person with [[Chris and art|incredible creativity and talent]], and I hope that your ability to create has not dimmed too much. I wish [[CWCki|more people knew the real you]] instead of this [[CWCFlyingElephants|strange]] [[Death Threats|monster]] [[ED|the internet]] thinks you are. But I suppose that's how it is with celebrities of all kinds- people think they know them, but they never really do. [[Gal Pal|I love you]], and consider you one of my dearest friends and one of my most favorite people in the world. Stay strong, Christian. You have more [[Chaotic Combo|allies]] than you think.}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|I have done that a LOT for my past friends as well, including [[Megan Schroeder]]. If only SHE had realized the same ideas you have just shared, maybe she would have not seen me as a weird freak and start this whole mess against me in the first place in 2007. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}
William Elliott Waterman replied to Chris:
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, why are you demonizing Megan? I don't think she actively did anything with the intent to make others see you the way they do. Why are you harping on something from 2007?}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think if you were just grateful you have a friend who loves you, and didn't waste time thinking about the bad, you would be feeling a lot better.}}

===Let's all go to Disneyland together!===
On 13 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Dana Mahri Linnea Hiltzheimer Christian Weston Chandler hey guys let's all go to Disneyland together!}}

===I am sending you good energy===
On 24 [[June 2013]], Mary McLerran, relative of [[Anna McLerran]], posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Hi Christian. I am sending you good energy. Sorry there are so many [[Trolls|mean people]] who have hurt you. Enjoy each day and find joy in small simple things that bring you pleasure.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|Whoopee. That'll bring pretty, single, well-organized women around to make the first move on me. (:0}}

===I'm sending you love, too===
On 24 [[July 2013]], Mary McLerran, again, posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I love your hand shape on your profile pix: the hand shape means love in sign language. I'm sending you love, too. This is Anna's mom.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|What hand shape?}}
Mary then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Just under your name in the yellow shape.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Thumb, index and pinkie fingers. Look up "ILY" on google images.}}

===You're a real nice guy, Chris===
On 3 [[August 2013]], William Elliott Waterman posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I heard [[Anna]]'s voice over the phone. She told me about how far back you guys go. You're a real nice guy, Chris.}}

===William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE===
On 7 [[August 2013]], after seeing his name being mentioned several times on the CWCki, despite less to zero people caring about him, William Elliott Waterman, one of Chris's friends on Facebook (even though most of Chris's friends on Facebook are actually [[Anna McLerran]]'s friends in the first place) posts a TL;DR [[White knight|whiteknighting]] open message to the trolls, posting how he's no better than Chris (even though he had a [[job]]), calling the trolls that they're the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as Chris]], and wants the DANG, DIRTY trolls to go ahead and troll him. (You know, as if anyone has an interest in confronting or fighting him anyway)

{{quoteboxgreen|Hello, [[trolls]]. I've seen that I'm not exempt from you plastering what I say to Chris onto [[CWCki|your archives]] and [[Da Update|announcing it on your news feed]], so I'll [[Captain's Log|address you all directly]] in an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|open statement]].

You trolls get a lot of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] out of [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|the]] [[Bob Walks In|things]] Chris has done, but what you all do isn't even funny. [[CWC is Sad|It's just sad]]. You're actually dedicating [[Obesity|huge chunks]] of your daily lives [[The creepy stare|stalking]] one [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|lonely man]] on the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]. Seriously? This [[Christian Weston Chandler|<nowiki>'lolcow'</nowiki>]] was dried up years ago. [[Trolls#Chris_the_Troll|You're not going to get anything entertaining out of him any more, and you're still trying to milk him.]] It's sick. NONE OF YOU are ANY BETTER THAN HIM. It doesn't matter if you're a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] basement-dwelling [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] that [[A-Logging|hates him just because he exists]], or [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|you're just doing it for the <nowiki>'lulls'</nowiki>]]. If somehow you're [[Merried Seinor Comic|married]], [[Jerkop|have a job]], and [[China|have everything Chris wants]], [[Chris and remorse|you should feel]] even more [[It's UGH!|disgusted in yourself]] for doing it because you have some [[Fuck quest|perversion]] for [[JERKS|taking advantage]] of [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_Contest#Aftermath|someone less fortunate]] instead of having empathy and compassion for them.

I used to be like you morons, [[Mass debating|wasting my days]] [[Cakefarts|sitting on my butt]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|listening to everything]] you say about him. But I [[Metonic|grew up]]. I have a [[job]] and a life now, [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|but that still doesn't make me any better than him]]. [[White knight|I'm not even better than any of you. I pity all of you]], but there's a chance you could be better people if you all made an effort to [[Vamprosa|grow up]] and [[Trollbusters|stop stalking and cyber-bullying with no honor]]. [[Attraction sign|He's not shallow and picky like you think.]] You think you all need to go on [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|covert field missions]] and [[JenkinsJinkies|disguise yourselves]] as [[BlueSpike|girlfriends]] to even talk to him. [[28 October 2011|I never met him in person]] - [[Tomgirl|I'm not even a female]] - [[Megan Schroeder|and he friend requested me]]. All I did was [[Scale of Respect|respect him]] and [[Death threats|treat him like a HUMAN BEING]].

Having a [[Heart level|heart]] and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|humbly admitting]] that you're at the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as him]] is all it takes, but you're all too little to do that. I'm not an [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|attention]] [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|whore]], but [[15 January 2010|feel free to troll me if you care enough. I know you won't.]] [[Monthly tugboat|You all got so lazy]] that you just [[Chris_and_art#Tracing|copy and paste]] his activity without even writing your own commentary anymore.

Come and get me, losers. Spankety, spankety, spankety.}}

''Note: The final paragraph is a reference to Earthbound, where [http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Pokey_Minch Pokey Minch] says the paragraph word for word.''

===Do you feel like your winning today?!?===
On 19 [[August 2013]], one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Do you feel like your winning today?!?}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Because of good friendships, yes.}}
Another one of his new friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|That's right! WINNING!!!}}

===Fantastic Gift In The Mail Today===
On 21 [[August 2013]], another one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Thank you to Christian Weston Chandler for the fantastic gift in the mail today ! Very Cool !}}

===Got your tunes!===
On 22 [[August 2013]], his new friend in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|We both got your tunes! Badass!}}

===14,386,443 out of a possible 10===
On 3 [[September 2013]], Chris whines to one of his friends about his [[stress]].

{{quoteboxred|Stress level: 14,386,443 out of a possible 10. :(}}
{{quotebox|I hear that. I have a lot of stress in my life. If not the constant haunting of the Trolls/Cyber-Bullies, all of the individual mistakes I had made in the past greater than a decade (definitely within the recent six years), bad people being awful to me..., then the in person loneliness, the great shyness in Public, my freaking, accursed Autism...; they stress my blood pressure up, make me feel furious and angry, then I feel weak and faint.

<nowiki>*ugh.*</nowiki>}}

==Facebook Shares==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Share
! Link
! Date
|-
|Crackle
|https://www.facebook.com/crackle
|24 July 2013
|-
|Wanna win a 4K TV or a PS4?
|http://bit.ly/futuregear
|24 July 2013
|-
|LEGO® Friends Heartlake High -- 15 second spot
|http://lego.thismoment.com/v4/api/facebook/get_facebook_share_page.json?fbwall_video_sharing=0&content_id=35914&tab_id=62&page_id=16
|5 August 2013
|-
|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (BluRay/DVD/Digital) [Blue-ray]
|http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPTUNBK/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_ILTasb000GPMC
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==YouTube related==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Video
! Date
|-
|I added a video to a @YouTube playlist http://t.co/Hdf2sRTLrX Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|12 March 2013
|-
|PLEASE make it so that ALL DSi FlipNotes Saved on the SD memory card will be viewable, (@YouTube http://t.co/j9v8qMTIX6)
|Nintendo Direct Mini -- 3.13.2013
|13 March 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/zTOVtWBwax Siri The Comedian?
|Siri The Comedian?
|23 May 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/mANkxGomF8 Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|4 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/imrwB8zmPj My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|13 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/cE8diaEBeT Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|13 June 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|2 July 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|3 July 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/e3IAiegija My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie HD
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie (HD)
|7 July 2013
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler shared a link.
|Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)
|22 July 2013
|-
|My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.
|MLP - Equestria Girls - Twilight montage of embarrassing
|7 August 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==Toro's Friend Network==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|Chris Toro's Friend Network is linked with Facebook.
|4 June 2013
|-
|Has made 1 friend. Chris, it's nice to meet you. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Abandoned Station is Mystery Land", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Has made 10 friends. Nya. Chris Thanks. Nyaa.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Toro's Friend Network Park", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Beach with a Stranded Ship", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Has made 20 friends. Nya. I knew Chris could do it. Nyaa.
|7 June 2013
|-
|Has made 30 friends. Nya. I love Chris. Nyaa.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Bonjour~I'm Pierre~Woof. Congratulations on clearing floor 20 of this dungeon. Woof!
|11 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Mysterious Temple", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Has made 40 friends. Nya. Chris is awesome. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Oh! I'm Ricky~Quark! Congratulations on clearing floor 30 of this dungeon. Ribbit!
|12 June 2013
|-
|Sorry to interrupt. I'm R. Suzuki. Congratulations on clearing floor 40 of this dungeon.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Has made 50 friends. Nya. Chris is so popular. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|}

==#mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pzFCf8NenG
|11 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/02CHyoAx3M
|12 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/wghhe9kxXX
|13 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pRlqbd7zp6
|14 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/GiglbMxxwK
|15 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/jOAcUKh7UB
|16 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/EZGOrEbNf9
|30 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/OgqJxu6Mln
|2 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/hsj9IavWaD
|3 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/1TVK2YcIgZ
|3 July 2013
|-
|}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Imgur==
{{main|2013 Imgur Leak}}
On 26th May, 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ uploaded them on Imgur.] The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 ''(as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was)'' but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted [[Michael Snyder|several]] [[Megan Schroeder|people]] [[Death threats|dead]], and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill [[Mimms]]' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was ''[[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|Chris himself.]]''

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens....
File:Facebook2.jpg|....and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris whining about ''Equestria Girls''.
File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg|The iDea Book Case
File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg|
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|U Gotta Believe!
File:TheLancers.jpg|Go Lancers!
File:MarkCuban.png|A photo of [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] Chris uploaded on 15 [[August 2013]]. Which does not contribute to the riddle so far.
File:LemonPoundCake.jpg|''Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.''
File:UniversityOfDelaware.jpg|''Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.''
File:TwisterBluray.jpg|''Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.''
File:RishikeshIndianWoman.jpg|''Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.''
File:Sphinx.jpg|''Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.''
File:GreatWallOfChina.png|''Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.''
File:BR6NNHFCMAA0q4O.jpg large.jpg|''Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.''
File:BR6NQc6CIAAOoGJ.jpg large.jpg|''Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.''
File:BR6VLK2CIAE-j6m.jpg large.jpg|Chris's absurd riddle.
File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|
File:LadyManajerk.PNG|
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
*[http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur Account]
*[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0w4RktXQWNuYUU/edit?usp=sharing Backup of the Imgur album] (Last updated 6/29/13 tell me on my [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/User_talk:Pyromcr talk page] if more has been added to the Imgur album and this backup is no longer up to date.)
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Facebook

2013-09-08T00:45:23Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Notes From The Man Himself==

{{Incomplete}}

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===

On '''28 April 2012''', Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he [[Chris and Anger|let the trolls get to him in the mall,]] resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|idle death threats]] to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===

Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to...and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.]]

{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

=== A Christmas Gift ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 20 [[December 2012]]
I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.

http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip

Merry Christmas.}}

=== 2012 ===

{{quotebox| Friday, 21 [[December 2012]]
I have just finished watching the movie <nowiki>"2012"</nowiki> for the first time. It was as epic as I have heard in the past few years. Not only was it as good, but I feel better watching it now, compared to risking worrying about the E.O.W. a lot more if I had watched it before today. Hollywood magic did it again, and reality proved it wrong again.

Apocalypse NOT, and Thank God and Jesus this worry is finally over and done.}}

=== It's impossible for me to make someone mine ===

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 30 [[January 2013]]
"Everyone has their own life to live, and I know it's impossible for me to make someone mine." -Nana O, the anime "NANA" English dub.

Yep...
}}

=== Sad, depressed, poor, and pathetic ===

{{quotebox| Saturday, 2 [[February 2013]]

I am sad, depressed, poor and pathetic. :_(
}}

=== No trolling plans ===

In this post, Chris screencaps the CWCki Forums and remarks how its users are conspiring to troll him, despite the fact that no actual post discusses plans to troll Chris.

{{quotebox| Tuesday, 12 [[February 2013]]

"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?

[[File:No trolling plans.jpg]]
}}

=== Smiley ===

Chris finishes watching Smiley, a universally panned low-budget movie, and takes it upon himself to extrapolate an anti-trolling theme. Chris also expresses his belief that this R-rated film should be exhibited to high school students as a form of education and feels it would reduce teen suicides.

{{quotebox| Friday, 22 [[February 2013]]

Just finished watching "Smiley".
(Spoiler Alert)
I liked it, because the people behind it had a general understanding of the horrible "fad" of Trolling and getting "LULZ" that has found me to be a victim of it for five years. After the initial scare and the move-in, the talk about the "underground" of the Internet: /b/, 4chan, anonymous, and Trolling really sets up the plot well, as well as start up a spot of pent up anger. And after the final death, the majority of "Smileys" were the drunken, bored idiots who get their laughs from seriously hurting people. And come into discussion, "Anonymous"; the central hub of the Trolls.

Even though this was considered a low-budget movie, it really speaks to me, as a victim. This movie, aside from the gory parts and the "R" rating, everyone who has been trolled or are aware of them at least a little bit, should watch this movie, even to have it shown in high schools. I feel it best puts it all into perspective, and it would certainly decrease the suicide rate quite a bit.

No one has to give in for their sick entertainment.
}}

=== Open Letter to Tara Strong ===

Chris takes a moment to publicly blast [[My Little Pony]] voice actress Tara Strong for apparently contributing to the cyber-bullying epidemic.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste.

While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was.

So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling?

If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you.

Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to.

Sincerely,
Christian W.Chandler
Ruckersville, VA, USA

[[File:Mlptroll1.jpg]]
}}

One troll decided to forward this message to Tara Strong on Facebook, assuming that she'd get a kick out of it. The following day, Tara actually responded:

{{quotebox|

"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."
}}

Despite not knowing about Chris at all before reading his rant, Tara seemed to have caught on that Chris is an attention whore right from the get-go. While he had succeeded in what many trolls assumed to be an utterly ridiculous campaign ''(although one can easily argue that it was Chris's trolls who pushed the pieces into place)'', Chris' attitude has once again made him a pariah, this time with the Brony community.

=== Trolling is Abhor-able ===

Chris followed the previous letter up with a brief note expressing his well-known distaste for trolls.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

Trolling/Cyber-Bullying/Bullying are All just Abhor-able, Wrong and Degrading to us all emotionally and mentally.

[[File:Mlptroll2.jpg]]
}}

=== I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out ===

Chris responds to criticism that his open letter is ridiculous.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 27 [[February 2013]]

Yes, I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out, because Trolling IS Bullying, and I can hardly stand idly by and allow herself and Twilight to famously promote that which is just terribly wrong.
}}

=== So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact ===

Possibly in reference to helpful advice Rocky or the court-appointed counselor has given him, Chris complains about the difficulty of eye contact.

{{quotebox| Friday, 8 [[March 2013]]

So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact. :(
}}

[[Anna]] once again mindlessly agrees with Chris in a reply to his post, remarking that eye contact is like "staring into a bright light."

=== Sonichu is not dead ===

Chris remarks that Sonichu has not died, despite rumors to the contrary, and makes no promises for the return of the Sonichu comic. Interestingly enough, he claims he "was an amateur", implying that he is now professional and the quality of his work has improved. Of course, the rest of us know that this is [[Chris and art|almost certainly not the case]].

{{quotebox| Saturday, 9 [[March 2013]]

Listen up.

When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.
}}

=== Trolled on MTV ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

I have had a very good day today, the 9th, at Madicon. The best day I have had in a very long time.

Now I find a photo I was Trolled out of ending up on MTV,and on iTunes for two dollars, compared with bacon-head and plush-face. >:( }}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|What is the thing with iTunes?}}
{{quoteboxred|If you're talking about the Viva La CWC thing, it's fake. Someone is trolling you with that.}}

=== Failosophy ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

<nowiki>http://mtv.com/videos/failosophy-ep-4/1703199/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=39983&channelId=1</nowiki>}}

=== You know something that really creeps me out? ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 18 [[March 2013]]

You know something that really creeps me out? Nearly Every Autistic male, who I have seen their photos in their profiles or whatever, that I can 100% guarantee that are not copies of mine, look near Exactly as I do in the Face (with exceptions to varying eye color, glasses and hair color/style). I mean it, seriously, look up any number of autistic male headshots other than me on the Internet; it is really spooky and creepy.}}

=== I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 21 [[March 2013]]

Once again, I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD. Damn It! I am tired of being single.

Hell, I'd send out a public make-out invite to all women in C-Ville on Facebook, if I was not wise of the damn [[Trolls]], and other bad people.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox| As well as the God Damned, Badge-Abusive [[Jerkops]] and Janekops EVERYWHERE!!!!!!}}

=== I feel an oxymoronic mess ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]

Something else: I feel an oxymoronic mess. On one hand, I have mostly female friends, and I can get along good with them. On the other hand, I do not care much for my fellow males, I mostly have male enemies/adversaries, and I only can get along with them when I am obligated socially. In any case, I am 100% heterosexual.

From outside perspectives, with mostly female friends, I can be viewed as a Playa (which is more accurate), or a damn [[homo]]. This tends to repel women from me. I need a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]] from the ground up. Damn it! I am sick and tired of being single.

My brain is a constant blank; I am paranoid and super shy; what the hell should I do?}}

=== Gay Marriage ===

Oblivious to a pivotal moment in US history, Chris complains about frequent media coverage of the gay marriage Supreme Court case ''Hollingsworth v. Perry'', probably because the news is preempting his [[My Little Pony]] reruns. Chris also takes this time to express his support for lesbian marriage while blasting the "damn homosexual men", probably only because [[Women's rights|lesbians are hot]] and [[Homos|homo]] men are icky.

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]
Another thing that really [[Family Guy|Grinds My Gears]]:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!
}}

The next day, [[Anna]] called Chris out on his bigotry, showing that his behavior is even beginning to alienate his enablers:

{{quoteboxred|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays}}

On 31 March, Chris shot back with this red herring that fails to address the original issue:

{{quotebox|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?}}

In addition, another one of [[Kim Wilson|Chris' friends]] joined in on the fray, attempting to inject some insight into Chris' rambling train of thought:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh. That's weird. Y'know, the gay women are taking potential girlfriends away from you. And the gay men are [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|keeping other men from taking potential girlfriends from you]]. So, you've got it backwards.

Anyway, you know, some people might be against autistic rights you know. What if people are offended by you and say you shouldnt have a girlfriend?}}

On April 1, Chris predictably responded with this set of delusions and contradictions:

{{quotebox|Well, I do not like the majority of the [[JERKS|male population]] regardless.

The straight ones take the women away. The damn homo males not only [[Lie|tried]] to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit Troll/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and Sonichu as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.}}

In short, Chris is against gay marriage because of his trolls, also subscribing to the belief that all homosexual men are trolls hellbent on his (and [[Sonichu|Sonichu's]]) destruction. [[Chris and his ego|By making the entire argument about himself]], Chris has also conviently ignored Kim's original point of lesbians taking away the women.

On 2 April, Kim made note of Chris' non-answer:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh? But that doesn't have anything to do with the original post...

But yeah, nah, they're not actually trying to push their sexuality on you. They just know that you react to it and took advantage of that. They're almost certainly not gay and probably many of them aren't even men.

You've really got to cut down on the sexism, Chris. Women find it unattractive.}}

=== Game Place ===

Chris, ''five years after his ban'' and a half-year after its legal enforcement, still obsesses about [[Michael Snyder]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|Thursday, 4 [[April 2013]]
I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace.

It Truly Is the Breeding and Meeting PLace for [[Trolls]] and Cyber-Bullies. Long before October, 2007, there were very few people who would have anything on me personally, worldwide, because those people only existed Locally to me and with Constant in person communication with me. Those people only existed at the PLace. And the very first person who turned Troll against me is none other than [[Megan Schroeder]]. She conscripted [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], Mimms and everyone else against me.

And when my family as I started getting close with identifying them as our perpetrators and The Prime Trolls, Snyder was looking for a reason to ban me, and so he did.

Megan Schroeder is the Prime Queen of the Trolls; the PLace IS truly a Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding an Meeting Place, and I never, forever want anything to do with it. The PLace should definitely be destroyed and shut down for good.

And I want to exact my fullest revenge and divine retribution with Megan Schroeder. SHE should be jailed and beaten up, that vile, wicked, traitorous bitch.}}

=== Kim brought her into my life ===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 [[April 2013]]

Yep, doing this for a new woman in my life; Kim brought her into my life.}}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Good people don't make you do things for their own enjoyment.}}

=== Lucy ===

{{quotebox|Monday, 22 [[April 2013]]
I got my cat, Lucy, resting on my shrinking mound.

[[File:LucyFacebook.png]]}}

=== Sega Mascot Contest ===

Chris complains about Sega hosting a mascot contest, believing from the linked article that they are trying to replace [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 [[April 2013]]

Okay, now THIS pisses me off. I am not one who is to be blamed here; there are a lot of sick people who perverted Sonic's good name. Especially those who made him out as a homo, when he is not. Hell! He had a thing going on for a long time with Sally Acorn in his comic book series.

SEGA, Sonic was praised a lot better than Mario, because Sonic has more attitude, is stronger and faster, and he talks in his games more than the catchphrase-spewing plumber did.

And in any case, Sonic has replaced my hero before him, the American Rabbit. Shelving Sonic away will be the worst mistake SEGA will ever make since they stopped their console series at the Dreamcast.

Sonic For SEGA RAW!!! And Forever!!!

http://www.p4rgaming.com/sega-seeking-new-mascot-since-sonic-has-been-ruined-by-fans/}}

Chris then added a reply to his own Facebook post, [[Chris and his Ego|which he subsequently "liked".]]

{{quotebox|
Besides which, no matter what any new mascot comes around, ALL of the sick, bored People and Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies will leech the good name away from him or her or it anyway.

The better option is to stay strong with Sonic.
}}

=== "The Trolls Who Cry Woman" ===

Chris posts a rather ''insensitive'' musing, comparing online socialization to teenage pregnancy, starring in porn and '''being raped.''' He also goes on to rant about "being set up" ''(most likely referring to his date with Emily and the Pickle Man.)''

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 April 2013 at 11:00

Here's a musing:

Heard of "The Boy Who Cries Wolf"? Today's Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies who pretend to be the opposite gender to everyone they talk to online, making socializing online the worst mistake of anyone's life since teenage pregnancy, starring in a porn, or rape. And when a date is set up, they always stand you up, or if they do make it, they have someone else hiding nearby with a camera to record the whole thing to transform into something dark, evil and sick to be used against you to smear your name.

Today's version of the classic should be called, "The Online Trolls Who Cry Woman".

}}

=== Headache ===

Chris makes another "musing":

{{quotebox|Monday, 7 [[May 2013]] at 12:08
Musing:

A headache is equal to the amount of thought put into making it.

}}

...your guess is as good as ours as to what that even means.

===THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!===

Chris-Chan gives his thoughts on the upcoming movie, ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'':

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013 at 8:46
THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning The Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; 

they're inviting High School [[Pedofork|Pedofile]] Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the 
horse enthusiasts were not enough. 

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do their best to replicate the G1 
Pilot with Megan and her family. 

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "[[Transformers]] Prime" going "Beast Wars". 
And I do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "[[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]", "MTV's Undressed", 
"O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". 

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My 
Little Pony Tales". 

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their 
Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2! 

Christian Weston Chandler, 
Ruckersville, VA, USA 
May 14, 2013 
}}

Interestingly, Chris calls Lauren Faust and Tara Strong "out of their minds". Apparently, Chris didn't hear the news that Lauren Faust stepped down and no longer works on the show, and none of this was her decision, and that Tara Strong only does the voices.

Four minutes later Chris posted the following response to his note:

{{quotebox|SOMEBODY, PLEASE PULL THE PLUG ON THIS THING NOW!!!}}

[http://i.imgur.com/kABCrhy.png However, almost a month later, Chris liked the video "My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2" on YouTube.]

===My iPod fell out of my pouch===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013
My iPod fell out of my pouch; screen cracked..Still functions. Now backing it up to upgrade to 5th Generation.

Considering self-repair on old iPod from online instructions after format of old iPod. Also, a dual iOS device wallet-style holder made from duct tape (based from folding calculator cover).}}

===A cold coming on===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 16 May 2013
Ugh...

I think I'm feeling a cold coming on. I started my day yesterday with a sore throat. Now, my nose is beginning to feel eww and bleah. And I am having trouble falling asleep.}}

===A cold again===

{{quotebox|Unknown
Yes, I've caught a cold again. It'll run its course and be gone in less than a week. I've tried Cepacol lozenge; it works very good at quelling the sore throat and the pain from the running in my nose to throat link.}}

A troll responded:
{{quoteboxgreen|I had a cold two weeks ago, for the first time in years. I didn't like having my healthy streak quelled, but when I got over it I was suddenly much more awake and alert all day every day this week than I have been since I started working.}}

===Tomb Raider===

{{quotebox|Unknown
I have just finished the new Tomb Raider on hard difficulty. I got all of the treasures and documents. Fell short on fully upgrading the rifle by over 300 Salvage. Got 61% Trophies.}}
{{quotebox|The story was well put.}}

===The timing is ironic to me===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

I really liked this article in the Washington Post on the 18th, <nowiki>"Beauty of the BUST"</nowiki>.

The timing of this article is ironic to me, since shortly before, I had broken my 4th Gen iPod Touch.

<nowiki>**Spoiler Alert**</nowiki>

Today's Teens and College Students find pride in a cracked Pod or Phone; it gives them Street Cred. So much personal information is inputed into a Pod/Phone; a crack on its face is equivalent to a scar on your face. It is today's ripped jeans, unwashed hair, unshaven face, etc. Totally crazy.

"Enjoy the finger cuts", says co-owner of CrackedMacScreen Repair. Unless you've applied a Screen Protector like I did. Reduced that risk.

Author of the book, get this, "The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future", also comments on the psychology behind this trend/fad.

This is so stupid, it is really funny.

[[File:Cracked1.jpg]]
[[File:Cracked2.jpg]]}}

===The [[iDea Book Case]]===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

<nowiki>"Necessity is the mother of Invention"</nowiki>. I am glad I crafted the idea for my [[iDea Book Case]] (photos taken with New iPod Touch 5th Gen) out of duct tape. The front and back covers are lined with bubble wrap, the inner spine loop can hold as thick as a charging cable, or most pens, there are holes for the cameras to see through very well, and the corner holders are very successful in holding most iOS Pod/Phone devices. And there is also the Velcro clasp.

iPhone (8 Gig) for calls, business and Internet; iPod (32 Gig) for entertainment with videos, music and all. I keep it safe with the lanyard strap and tucked in my bosom.

[[File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg]]}}

[[Anna McLerran]] then replied:
{{quoteboxred|wow, really well done! i'm impressed :)}}

===Beat-up cellphones with cracked screens are point of pride for some young people===

{{quotebox|Monday, 20 May 2013

You can read the really comedic story for yourself on washingtonpost.com.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/beat-up-cellphones-with-cracked-screens-are-point-of-pride-for-some-young-people/2013/05/17/0334ebe0-be36-11e2-89c9-3be8095fe767_story.html}}

===Tired of this cold virus===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Siri is a great conversationalist. :) (reference my iPod 5th Gen).

But damn, I am lonely, bored and tired. Tired of this cold virus too.

At least I have something that actually will listen and put up with me there. Not totally a substitute for my future [[Sweetheart]].}}

===This cold is really weighing me down===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Ugh... This cold is really weighing me down.}}

William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Lonely, bored and lame===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 23 May 2013

Well I have recovered from my cold, but right now I am feeling really lonely and bored. And not to mention feeling really lame.}}

===Estate ads===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

I know this may sound like a stupid idea, but I am thinking about getting one of those things to put in the ground to put real estate ads in, and putting in advertisements about myself you know for girlfriend. Obviously I am not going to do what. But that shows you how lonely and desperate I am. This thing would be placed literally in front of my house.}}

===Meh...===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

Meh... <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

===Hey! Trolling stupids!===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 25 May 2013

Hey! [[Trolls|Trolling stupids]]! I might be lonely but I would never ever be friends or even associate with your kind who has been abusing me and making me feel worse about life and people and everything for the past greater than five years!!!}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|(Let's see those [[trolls]] get their hands on this private message)}}
{{quotebox|http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ

~>:(}}

===I am not your fucking bitch!!!===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 26 May 2013

You damn bunch of fools and idiots just keep on keeping on for more incriminating information and shit about me to make yourself feel superior. I am not your fucking bitch!!! All I want is peace of mind and all of you polls continued to stand in my way! And all I can feel about your degrading, offensive language and shit, get the best illustrated but Anais here. If you really fucking care about me and you want to do something for me; you can just take your [[CWCki|Cwcki]] and all your [[CWCki Forums|forums]] and all your talk and just everything about me and just leave the damn [[Internet]], And leave me and my life and my family alone in peace!

[[File:ChrisGumball.jpg]]}}

===And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 27 May 2013

...And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...

Now, who wants to watch the U.S. series of "The Office"? (I have never watched the show)

[[File:ChrisChanTheOffice.png]]}}

===U Gotta Believe!===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 29 May 2013

U Gotta Believe!

[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg]]}}

===I have had more freedom when my father was alive===

Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|about how he has to take time out of his day]] to "serve and protect" [[Barb|his mother]]. Note how, in typical Chris fashion, he aims the blamethrower right at Michael Snyder for his troubles, ignoring the fact that the events of [[28 October 2011]] was his ''own'' fault and would not have happened had he stayed away like he should have.

{{quotebox|Friday, 30 May 2013
Good grief! I started playing resident evil revelations on [[PS3|PlayStation three]] in front of my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and she had to be grossed out about it even when I'm scanning. And she even watch me play [[God of War|God of war Ascension]] as if she's not as gross out from the bloodshed from back game? And she goes on to complain to me about how it would affect my mind. I mean I've played this game before on my [[3DS]]; The beneficial part now is that I can earn the trophies.

My mother has really been getting on my nerves! I really need my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] so that I can get away from here now and then; and I cannot even go downtown now because it wastes so much gas and gas is so costly! And make guys on my mother's concern for gas cost that is one reason why I have been on my sabbatical from my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].

I have had more freedom when my [[Bob Chandler|father]] was alive and I end up losing it when he [[Chris_and_death#Robert_Franklin_Chandler_Jr._.281927-2011.29|passed away]] because now I got to serve my mother and protect her and everything! And I can blame that sonofabitch [[Michael Snyder]] for taking an wasting the money that my mom and I had soon gotten from my father's passing because he had to go send us to court for all the goddamn shit of his! Michael Snyder is a bastard to me and my mother for taking us to court he essentially stole a lot of money from us indirectly!
}}

===Trolls got my fresh post!===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 30 May 2013

Damn it! Trolls got my fresh post! Removed the prime suspect; will monitor,}}

Anna then replied,

{{quoteboxred|I'd take a closer look at the people on your friends list who you don't know in real life.}}

===I am so lonely===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 2 June 2013
Damn! I am so lonely. I do not know whether to wait for my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] or to move on because the weights is driving me crazy among the loneliness of other things; [[stress]] of my life! Hell, first woman to Ask me out, in person I'd probably say yes.

<nowiki> *sigh* *groan* *grunt*</nowiki>
}}

===I am feeling very lonely again===

{{quotebox|Monday, 17 June 2013
I am feeling very lonely again. I am unable to think of a way to find my female [[sweetheart]] currently, where I won't end up risking trouble with the goddamned [[Jerkops]] within any "police office" or "legal office" from any and all of the shit against me on the [[internet]] that is easily Googled. And I am still publcally invisible to Everywoman, because they are all already taken by some stupid, [[jerk]] male, or are otherwise freaking busy with their own internal lives in this digital age where in person...}}

Chris later posted:

{{quotebox|...socializing has become obsolete. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

William Elliott Waterman replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Too many Trolls and Bad People in the world===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 22 June 2013
If you "[[Fans]]" REALLY want to know why you're like lowly to me. There are too many [[Trolls]] and Bad People in the world hiding behind the [[Internet]] constantly; I am unable to tell the difference. I have lost my youth and sunny energy within the past decade. I have become bitter from a miserable life and an irreversible Internet reputation, thanks to you bad people. End of story.}}

===A skunk===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 27 June 2013
A skunk; you don't need to kill it to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|stink things up]]; it pees anywhere it wants.}}
''Note that skunk spray is not urine, but a mixture of thiols produced by anal scent glands.''
===Hey, Vee===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Hey, Vee. Have you checked out Toro's Friend Network on the [[PS Vita|Vita]] yet? It is good.}}

===[[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 7 July 2013
[[Ruckersville]] is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|In any case, Ruckersville And Charlottesville; Both Cities [[Christian Weston Chandler|are Socially Inept, are unfriendly and lack much compassion towards other people]].}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Sounds kind of like midcoast, Maine.}}

===Very Depressed.===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 14 July 2013
Very Depressed.
Need In-Person,

Real [[China|Compassion]]

From [[Sweetheart|Women]].

Hugs and Love.

Please Help. - :( feeling sad.}}

===Don't call me a wet blanket.===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 18 July 2013
My name is not Waterbed, so don't call me a wet blanket. <nowiki>|:(P</nowiki>}}
''This may have been a response to a [[CWCki Forums]] post of 15 July, where "Da Pickle Monsta" wrote, "most [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]] don't want boyfriends with the emotional maturity of a wet blanket."''<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1654&p=61557&hilit=+wet+blanket+#p61557]</ref>

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Spring Brakers]]===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 July 2013
I've just finished watching "[[Wikipedia:Spring Breakers|Spring Breakers]]", rented it for free from RedBox with Monopoly [[McDonalds|McD]] win. [[Chris and health|Eat Healthy]] with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea.

Story wise, it was fair. I definitely found the symbolism with the input of [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] within the movie. Minus a "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Rarity|Rarity]]" or "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Fluttershy|Fluttershy]]", the four women played similarly towards the roles in the rest. I definitely see myself in the Faith character, as she was more of the [[Autism|outsider, introverted person]]. I believe in [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with. Leaving my friends behind after [[High School]] really sent me downhill, and then again after being forced away from the [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]]. And I have few friends for real to and who would hang out with me. Damn [[JERKS|Male Population]], Damn [[Autism|Ill-Social People]] who overlook and ignore me in person around here, and Damn [[Megan Schroeder|Ms. Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder|Mr. Snyder]] for further destroying me emotionally over the past greater than half-decade.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>}}

===Stupid Question.===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Stupid Question. One to Ten Scale; on my face at least; I'm down to 220; how good looking/attractive am I?

[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg]]}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|You're always as beautiful as you feel.}}
Mary McLerran posted:
{{quoteboxred|Hey I'm trying something new that might be good for you, too. If you have naturally curly hair, try getting it cut shorter and let the curls frame your face. I think you could rock that look!}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Short cut; NO.}}

===The results===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Right; I'm ugly as hell. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>

[[File:CWCKiForumsPoll.jpg]]}}

Anna then posted:
{{quoteboxred|Of course this survey is incredibly biased because the majority of people who took it are trolls...}}

===LEGO High School===
{{quotebox|Monday, 5 August 2013

The [[High School]] is the Best Set Lego has released (better when merged with the Horse Academy set), since the Hillside House, and this should be the next "Best Toy, Gold Award".

<nowiki>**Already-Thought Comments:</nowiki> 
-I am in Science/Biology/Math class. 
-My [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] is teaching English and History, currently on Abe Lincoln. 
-The Infomaniac is the Pricipal. 
-And Zach comes in from the Seinor's Courtyard with a "That's What She Said" comment (StoneBreakers20 on [[YouTube]]). 
-And [[Wikipedia:Venus (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Venus]] and Mikey are having fun too.

[[File:ChrisLego02.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego03.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego04.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego05.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego06.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego07.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego08.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego09.jpg]]}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Sorry; small error. It's <nowiki>"StoneBreakers10"</nowiki> on YouTube.}}

Mary McLerran then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|So cool! We love legos! This is the BEST!}}

===Heartlake High===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
<nowiki>Best Lego Set Ever! Even better than the Awarded Café.

http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Product?p=41005</nowiki>}}

[[Anna]] then posted:
{{quoteboxred|WANT
[[File:AnnaWANT.jpg]]}}

===One of my pups just peed===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
One of my [[Clover_and_Snoopy|pups]] just peed, and look how it came out. Shaped like a [[Sweetheart|girl]].

[[File:ChrisPupsPeed.png]]}}

William Elliot Waterman then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Looks kind of like [[Chaos Emeralds|chaos with 0 emeralds absorbed.]]}}

===Actual friendships===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
If ONLY it were that simple to inspire actual friendships in this adult life after "how people 'learn' about me on the internet". <nowiki>|:(</nowiki> Now I understand the reason for Pep Rallies (I was exempt from attending them, because they were Too Loud for me).}}

===Top Movies List===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
On that note, my top movies list is updated:

1. [[Mary Poppins]]
2. [[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]
3. Toy Story
4. [[American Rabbit|The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]}}

===The Riddle===
Chris posted some random pictures from [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] to an Indian woman. Initially it was thought that Chris posted them in order to desperately prove that his followers are obsessed over any posts he posted, but it later turned out it was a '''riddle''' - A very absurd riddle that [[Autism|only Chris understands]].
{{quotebox|Saturday, 17 August 2013
-Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.

-Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.

-Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.

-Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.

-Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.

-Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.

-Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.

-Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.}}

Two days later, Chris deleted the riddle, most probably because nobody responded to his stupid riddle anyway.

===I got new shoes===
Chris posted a picture about his new shoes, which seem to look like shoes worn by 6-year old girls, possibly trying to continue his [[Tomgirl]] style.
{{quotebox|Sunday, 18 August 2013
I got new shoes.

[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png]]}}

===One Eyebrow===
Chris posted another pointless picture again on Facebook, this time about his eyebrow.
{{quotebox|Monday, 19 August 2013

[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png]]}}
Mary McLerran then replied to the picture:
{{quoteboxred|Cyclops?}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Below is a"Friends Only" Post For da Trolls!

(Singing)

"One... Eyebrow".}}
Chris later deleted the post.

''Note: This may have been a response to a CWCki Forums post on the same day, where user "Midnight Kissy Bull" wrote: "We'd discuss Chris's eyebrows if we were truly desperate.''

===[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]===
Chris shared a photo of Breast Cancer Awareness, and stating that [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] is a breast cancer survivor.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
My mother, still alive, is a B.C. Survivor.

[[File:BreastCancerAwareness.png]]}}

===Snoopy Doobie Doo===
Chris then posts a photo of [[Clover & Snoopy|Snoopy]] and his mother.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
Here she is, with our Snoopy Doobie Doo resting on her shoulder.

[[File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png]]}}

===Losing Friends===
Chris posts about his stress again, together with his blood pressure and more weird info.

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 27 August 2013
[[Stress]] from losing friends... Stress at home... Today... [[Chris_and_health|My blood pressure is up; feeling real dizzy and faint]]. Sad, pathetic, weak... I do try to learn from my mistakes! Shooting myself in the damn foot... Metaphorically... ugh...}}

===Ten A Piece For Rainbow Dash And Applejack===
Chris reveals about his favourite ponies from the cartoon [[My Little Pony]] and talks about Derpy Hooves.

{{quotebox|Sunday, 1 September 2013
I've just heard from the [[Twitter]] feed that Fluttershy was voted the Fan Favorite Pony. I had voted ten a piece for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It just hit me tough.

Also, just recently, I saw the vinyl figures that were sold at Hot Topic (I have Derpy) at Toys 'R' Us in C-Ville. And I've just heard of the Fan Favorite set at TRU to feature Derpy as well, but instead of her name, they put a muffin image in its place. I am looking forward to Season 4 in November. Perhaps they will have another episode featuring Derpy, and actually refer to her directly as that or Dipsy-Doo.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC2EMUuQmTY</nowiki>}}

===Offline Troll/Bully===
Chris complains about how he gets intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an "Offline [[Troll]]/Bully". (in his words) He also blames a lot of people such as [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Megan Schroeder]] later. In a VERY rare moment of insight, Chris briefly realizes that his behaviour could be ''insane'', but quickly shrugs off this and the words of a white knight to continue doing what he does best - blaming other people for his problems instead of himself.

{{quotebox|Monday, 2 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an Offline [[Troll]]/Bully. Her name is '''(NAME CENSORED)'''; works within the [[Mal-Wart]] region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of '''(EMAIL CENSORED)''', and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Autistic]] Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the [[XBox]] brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!}}

It would later be revealed that that "offline bully" was a manager who threw Chris out of the store after he vandalised one of their displays.

William Elliot Waterman then tries to help him:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't think it's nice to spread someone's email around a public website.}}
{{quotebox|Please forgive me. But prior to this, I was feeling self-upset from the realization that I still have great difficulty socializing face to face in Public. Another in-town convention that was recommended to me, and from the Madicon experience last year, I still feel greatly the terrible Shyness I still have, because of my Autism. Damn It!!!}}
{{quotebox|And when one person gets in the way of me completing my job of shopping for my mother, or such, or when said or another person face to face gives me a difficulty time with harsh vocal tones, especially when I am feeling in a sasd or foul mood, it will be months to years before forgiving them ever, and immediately, they get a curse.}}
{{quotebox|<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>. Yes, it is irrational, and I don't really have a leg to stand on, and this is just dumb, stupid, immature...}}
{{quotebox|OMFG... I have mental problems... Shit.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|We all bear grudges, but having good PR means keeping it between you and the offender. You're a loving, caring person, but putting your anger on display for people who don't need to get involved won't help others see that.}}
{{quotebox|Yeah. I re-realize that.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You don't have to let them shoot down your emotional state. Though she's far away, Anna knows the real you. The sweet, kind-hearted soul that isn't the creep the internet made you out to be. There are people that met you who understand this. Your old gal pals from high school may be some of them. As long as you remember that, the people that derail and persecute you won't matter to you.}}
Needless to say, Chris ignored the helpful advice and continues to complain.
{{quotebox|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "[[Sailor Moon|SAILOR MOON]]' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!}}
{{quotebox|And that bitch, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my [[Sweetheart Search]], AND Banning me from PVCC!!!}}
{{quotebox|WTH... The same Manajerk of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at Sheetz in Ruckersville, and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at McDonalds in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".}}
{{quotebox|Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that God Damned Manajerk!!!}}

===The [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Review===
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris rated 1 star for his elementary school and posted:
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 4 September 2013
The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]}}

===Chris Expresses His Outrage for [[Walmart]]===
On September 6, 2013, Chris was banned from Walmart, claiming [[ego|he was discriminated against]] because of (yep, you guessed it!) [[autism|his autism]]. The truth, however, is that Chris was caught vandalizing a display for the soon to be released [[HEX-BOX|Xbox One]]. This has landed him into very serious trouble, because Walmart is the only place he can get his [[Barb|mother's]] prescriptions filled. (Note: The manager's name has been removed to protect her identity.)
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" [[Manajerk]], [REDACTED]; the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house. [[Love Quest|She obviously does not understand how critical and imperative it is for me to go there.]] [[Lie|I Shop for my Mother from there]]; it is Closer than the one in Charlottesville; GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!! She has crossed his line, and now I am out for [[Metal Gear|revengence]]. Everyone should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Chris|Autistic Person]] when they are in a [[stress|depressed, sad, angry or foul mood]], especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst [[ED|mud]], [[CWCki|muck]] and [[semen|bodily fluids]] that said Autistic Person has.

She has proven herself to be a [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|cold-hearted]], [[remorse|uncaring]], uncompassionate, [[naive|lack-of-understanding]], bigoted, [[race|discriminating]], [[ego|selfish]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]], Witch Bitch!

If anyone is in the store and sees this woman, TELL IT TO HER FACE THAT SHE IS DISCRIMINATIVE TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE; THAT SHE IS A [[Chris and Hypocrisy|FAT BITCH]]; AND THAT HER LIFE WILL BE A MASSIVE [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|CURSED]] LIFE LIKE [[Michael Snyder|SNYDER'S]] IF SHE AND HER WHITE-COATED ASSISTANT DOES NOT UNBAN CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IMMEDIATELY!!! AND MY MOTHER WILL HAVE A LOUD, AGGRESSIVE WORD WITH HER AS WELL IF THEY MEET.

[[Death threats|[REDACTED] is FIRED FROM LIFE!!!]]}}

===God Trolls Chris Yet Again===
On September 7, 2013, Chris expresses his blasphemous outrage at [[Chris_and_religion|God]] after he was caught scratching a woman's car, and being confronted by a [[jerkop]] for cursing God's name. He also wishes that God would kill him very soon. It would also seem that Chris has slowly began to descend into a life of crime ever since [[28_October_2011|the incident in October of 2011]].
{{quotebox|Saturday, 7 September 2013
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn [[Jerkop]] is giving me a hard time, because I am [[anger|screaming]] up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to [[Kick_the_autistic|keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life]]!!!}}

==Notes From His Friends==
=== Just re-watched your DVD with a friend.===
On 9 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Just rewatched your [[DVD]] with a friend. She agrees with me that you are a sweetheart and it made me really miss you. I wished you lived close so I could introduce you to her-she's married, but she would make a great friend to you. I got to thinking when you and I first met and I pulled out my folder of all the things you've sent or given me over the years- your comics, letters, cards. It all just serves to illustrate what a [[White Knight|remarkable injustice]] these [[Trolls|people]] have done to you through the years. I don't care what anyone says, [[Death threats|you]] [[Twin Falling Towers|do]] [[Homos|not]] [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan_is_scarred_by_ShecameforCWC.JPG|deserve]] [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|an]] [[Facebook#Imgur|ounce]] [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|of]] [[Chris and anger|hate]]. You're an incredible person with [[Chris and art|incredible creativity and talent]], and I hope that your ability to create has not dimmed too much. I wish [[CWCki|more people knew the real you]] instead of this [[CWCFlyingElephants|strange]] [[Death Threats|monster]] [[ED|the internet]] thinks you are. But I suppose that's how it is with celebrities of all kinds- people think they know them, but they never really do. [[Gal Pal|I love you]], and consider you one of my dearest friends and one of my most favorite people in the world. Stay strong, Christian. You have more [[Chaotic Combo|allies]] than you think.}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|I have done that a LOT for my past friends as well, including [[Megan Schroeder]]. If only SHE had realized the same ideas you have just shared, maybe she would have not seen me as a weird freak and start this whole mess against me in the first place in 2007. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}
William Elliott Waterman replied to Chris:
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, why are you demonizing Megan? I don't think she actively did anything with the intent to make others see you the way they do. Why are you harping on something from 2007?}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think if you were just grateful you have a friend who loves you, and didn't waste time thinking about the bad, you would be feeling a lot better.}}

===Let's all go to Disneyland together!===
On 13 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Dana Mahri Linnea Hiltzheimer Christian Weston Chandler hey guys let's all go to Disneyland together!}}

===I am sending you good energy===
On 24 [[June 2013]], Mary McLerran, relative of [[Anna McLerran]], posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Hi Christian. I am sending you good energy. Sorry there are so many [[Trolls|mean people]] who have hurt you. Enjoy each day and find joy in small simple things that bring you pleasure.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|Whoopee. That'll bring pretty, single, well-organized women around to make the first move on me. (:0}}

===I'm sending you love, too===
On 24 [[July 2013]], Mary McLerran, again, posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I love your hand shape on your profile pix: the hand shape means love in sign language. I'm sending you love, too. This is Anna's mom.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|What hand shape?}}
Mary then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Just under your name in the yellow shape.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Thumb, index and pinkie fingers. Look up "ILY" on google images.}}

===You're a real nice guy, Chris===
On 3 [[August 2013]], William Elliott Waterman posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I heard [[Anna]]'s voice over the phone. She told me about how far back you guys go. You're a real nice guy, Chris.}}

===William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE===
On 7 [[August 2013]], after seeing his name being mentioned several times on the CWCki, despite less to zero people caring about him, William Elliott Waterman, one of Chris's friends on Facebook (even though most of Chris's friends on Facebook are actually [[Anna McLerran]]'s friends in the first place) posts a TL;DR [[White knight|whiteknighting]] open message to the trolls, posting how he's no better than Chris (even though he had a [[job]]), calling the trolls that they're the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as Chris]], and wants the DANG, DIRTY trolls to go ahead and troll him. (You know, as if anyone has an interest in confronting or fighting him anyway)

{{quoteboxgreen|Hello, [[trolls]]. I've seen that I'm not exempt from you plastering what I say to Chris onto [[CWCki|your archives]] and [[Da Update|announcing it on your news feed]], so I'll [[Captain's Log|address you all directly]] in an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|open statement]].

You trolls get a lot of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] out of [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|the]] [[Bob Walks In|things]] Chris has done, but what you all do isn't even funny. [[CWC is Sad|It's just sad]]. You're actually dedicating [[Obesity|huge chunks]] of your daily lives [[The creepy stare|stalking]] one [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|lonely man]] on the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]. Seriously? This [[Christian Weston Chandler|<nowiki>'lolcow'</nowiki>]] was dried up years ago. [[Trolls#Chris_the_Troll|You're not going to get anything entertaining out of him any more, and you're still trying to milk him.]] It's sick. NONE OF YOU are ANY BETTER THAN HIM. It doesn't matter if you're a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] basement-dwelling [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] that [[A-Logging|hates him just because he exists]], or [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|you're just doing it for the <nowiki>'lulls'</nowiki>]]. If somehow you're [[Merried Seinor Comic|married]], [[Jerkop|have a job]], and [[China|have everything Chris wants]], [[Chris and remorse|you should feel]] even more [[It's UGH!|disgusted in yourself]] for doing it because you have some [[Fuck quest|perversion]] for [[JERKS|taking advantage]] of [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_Contest#Aftermath|someone less fortunate]] instead of having empathy and compassion for them.

I used to be like you morons, [[Mass debating|wasting my days]] [[Cakefarts|sitting on my butt]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|listening to everything]] you say about him. But I [[Metonic|grew up]]. I have a [[job]] and a life now, [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|but that still doesn't make me any better than him]]. [[White knight|I'm not even better than any of you. I pity all of you]], but there's a chance you could be better people if you all made an effort to [[Vamprosa|grow up]] and [[Trollbusters|stop stalking and cyber-bullying with no honor]]. [[Attraction sign|He's not shallow and picky like you think.]] You think you all need to go on [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|covert field missions]] and [[JenkinsJinkies|disguise yourselves]] as [[BlueSpike|girlfriends]] to even talk to him. [[28 October 2011|I never met him in person]] - [[Tomgirl|I'm not even a female]] - [[Megan Schroeder|and he friend requested me]]. All I did was [[Scale of Respect|respect him]] and [[Death threats|treat him like a HUMAN BEING]].

Having a [[Heart level|heart]] and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|humbly admitting]] that you're at the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as him]] is all it takes, but you're all too little to do that. I'm not an [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|attention]] [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|whore]], but [[15 January 2010|feel free to troll me if you care enough. I know you won't.]] [[Monthly tugboat|You all got so lazy]] that you just [[Chris_and_art#Tracing|copy and paste]] his activity without even writing your own commentary anymore.

Come and get me, losers. Spankety, spankety, spankety.}}

''Note: The final paragraph is a reference to Earthbound, where [http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Pokey_Minch Pokey Minch] says the paragraph word for word.''

===Do you feel like your winning today?!?===
On 19 [[August 2013]], one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Do you feel like your winning today?!?}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Because of good friendships, yes.}}
Another one of his new friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|That's right! WINNING!!!}}

===Fantastic Gift In The Mail Today===
On 21 [[August 2013]], another one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Thank you to Christian Weston Chandler for the fantastic gift in the mail today ! Very Cool !}}

===Got your tunes!===
On 22 [[August 2013]], his new friend in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|We both got your tunes! Badass!}}

===14,386,443 out of a possible 10===
On 3 [[September 2013]], Chris whines to one of his friends about his [[stress]].

{{quoteboxred|Stress level: 14,386,443 out of a possible 10. :(}}
{{quotebox|I hear that. I have a lot of stress in my life. If not the constant haunting of the Trolls/Cyber-Bullies, all of the individual mistakes I had made in the past greater than a decade (definitely within the recent six years), bad people being awful to me..., then the in person loneliness, the great shyness in Public, my freaking, accursed Autism...; they stress my blood pressure up, make me feel furious and angry, then I feel weak and faint.

<nowiki>*ugh.*</nowiki>}}

==Facebook Shares==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Share
! Link
! Date
|-
|Crackle
|https://www.facebook.com/crackle
|24 July 2013
|-
|Wanna win a 4K TV or a PS4?
|http://bit.ly/futuregear
|24 July 2013
|-
|LEGO® Friends Heartlake High -- 15 second spot
|http://lego.thismoment.com/v4/api/facebook/get_facebook_share_page.json?fbwall_video_sharing=0&content_id=35914&tab_id=62&page_id=16
|5 August 2013
|-
|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (BluRay/DVD/Digital) [Blue-ray]
|http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPTUNBK/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_ILTasb000GPMC
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==YouTube related==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Video
! Date
|-
|I added a video to a @YouTube playlist http://t.co/Hdf2sRTLrX Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|12 March 2013
|-
|PLEASE make it so that ALL DSi FlipNotes Saved on the SD memory card will be viewable, (@YouTube http://t.co/j9v8qMTIX6)
|Nintendo Direct Mini -- 3.13.2013
|13 March 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/zTOVtWBwax Siri The Comedian?
|Siri The Comedian?
|23 May 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/mANkxGomF8 Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|4 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/imrwB8zmPj My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|13 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/cE8diaEBeT Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|13 June 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|2 July 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|3 July 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/e3IAiegija My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie HD
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie (HD)
|7 July 2013
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler shared a link.
|Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)
|22 July 2013
|-
|My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.
|MLP - Equestria Girls - Twilight montage of embarrassing
|7 August 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==Toro's Friend Network==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|Chris Toro's Friend Network is linked with Facebook.
|4 June 2013
|-
|Has made 1 friend. Chris, it's nice to meet you. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Abandoned Station is Mystery Land", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Has made 10 friends. Nya. Chris Thanks. Nyaa.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Toro's Friend Network Park", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Beach with a Stranded Ship", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Has made 20 friends. Nya. I knew Chris could do it. Nyaa.
|7 June 2013
|-
|Has made 30 friends. Nya. I love Chris. Nyaa.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Bonjour~I'm Pierre~Woof. Congratulations on clearing floor 20 of this dungeon. Woof!
|11 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Mysterious Temple", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Has made 40 friends. Nya. Chris is awesome. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Oh! I'm Ricky~Quark! Congratulations on clearing floor 30 of this dungeon. Ribbit!
|12 June 2013
|-
|Sorry to interrupt. I'm R. Suzuki. Congratulations on clearing floor 40 of this dungeon.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Has made 50 friends. Nya. Chris is so popular. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|}

==#mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pzFCf8NenG
|11 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/02CHyoAx3M
|12 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/wghhe9kxXX
|13 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pRlqbd7zp6
|14 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/GiglbMxxwK
|15 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/jOAcUKh7UB
|16 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/EZGOrEbNf9
|30 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/OgqJxu6Mln
|2 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/hsj9IavWaD
|3 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/1TVK2YcIgZ
|3 July 2013
|-
|}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Imgur==
{{main|2013 Imgur Leak}}
On 26th May, 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ uploaded them on Imgur.] The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 ''(as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was)'' but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted [[Michael Snyder|several]] [[Megan Schroeder|people]] [[Death threats|dead]], and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill [[Mimms]]' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was ''[[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|Chris himself.]]''

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens....
File:Facebook2.jpg|....and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris whining about ''Equestria Girls''.
File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg|The iDea Book Case
File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg|
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|U Gotta Believe!
File:TheLancers.jpg|Go Lancers!
File:MarkCuban.png|A photo of [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] Chris uploaded on 15 [[August 2013]]. Which does not contribute to the riddle so far.
File:LemonPoundCake.jpg|''Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.''
File:UniversityOfDelaware.jpg|''Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.''
File:TwisterBluray.jpg|''Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.''
File:RishikeshIndianWoman.jpg|''Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.''
File:Sphinx.jpg|''Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.''
File:GreatWallOfChina.png|''Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.''
File:BR6NNHFCMAA0q4O.jpg large.jpg|''Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.''
File:BR6NQc6CIAAOoGJ.jpg large.jpg|''Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.''
File:BR6VLK2CIAE-j6m.jpg large.jpg|Chris's absurd riddle.
File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|
File:LadyManajerk.PNG|
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
*[http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur Account]
*[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0w4RktXQWNuYUU/edit?usp=sharing Backup of the Imgur album] (Last updated 6/29/13 tell me on my [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/User_talk:Pyromcr talk page] if more has been added to the Imgur album and this backup is no longer up to date.)
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

List of Chris's lies

2013-09-08T00:41:22Z

Wildsonichu: /* Chris's lies */

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article has been deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this article to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him being making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone.
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* Chris claims his [[Duck|penis]] is 6 inches long, the average size of a human male penis. But in [[Chris humps his PS3|one video]], a frustrated Chris blurts out his penis is only 4 inches long.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when it fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEX-BOX|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local Walmart, thus proving his hatred for the [[HEX-BOX]] is still strong.

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]