CWCki - User contributions [en]

Hyperdimension Neptunia

2019-09-21T23:44:48Z

Willsaber:

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|I have had to [[Chris and reality|personally astral project and share my power]] with Christine there.|Chris, on battling invading forces from a video game.}}

[[Image:Neptunia.jpg|thumb|250px|Cover of the first game]]

'''Hyperdimension Neptunia''' is a series of role-playing video games created and developed by Idea Factory. Games within the series takes place in the world of Gamindustri (an obvious pun), which is divided into four regions/nations, each representing a specific video game console. Chris became a fan in late 2017, having been introduced to it by [[Idea Guy]] and watching the anime based on it.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Gamindustri.27s_world_and_goddesses_need_your_help</ref> The series would have a profound effect on Chris, inspiring him to indulge himself in a massive delusion that he was the "CPU Goddess" of a massive [[Dimensional_Merge|dimensional merge.]]

==Invasion of CWCville==
[[File:Nep nep.png|thumb|Chris meets Nep-Nep]]
{{see also|Operation BARBarossa}}

In early [[November 2017]], Chris pleaded with his Facebook followers to share their "Love And Shares With Neptune, Vert, Noire and Blanc, and help stop the wars that warrent [''sic''] in between!" A few days later, Chris explained that enemy forces from Gamindustri had invaded [[CWCville]]<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Gamindustri.27s_enemies_attack_CWCville</ref>-
he explains that the only way to keep the enemies at bay is to play the Hyperdimension Neptunia video games and watch the accompanying anime.

{{quotebox|I just want to remind everyone to, please, give your Shares Of kind thoughts to the Goddesses of Gamindustri. They really do help us and our reality! 🌸}}

On 14 November 2017, he posted that [[Silvana]] had been captured by a Russian billionaire and that the only way she could be returned safely was with the aid of a soldier based on the Remove Kebab meme and by people praying to the Goddesses of Gamindustri, a quartet of fictional deitys. He called his plan [[Operation BARBarossa]]<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Silvana_is_captured</ref>.

In another bizarre plan of action, the same day, he uploaded a video called "[[Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World!]]" In it, he dons a tinfoil hat (so THE MAN[''sic''] can't take over his mind) and dances awkwardly to polka music, claiming the video was for Gamindustri and all the other worlds and dimensions.

On 15 November, Chris posted that Operation BARBarossa was a success, seeing Silvana's return. He claimed to have lost some soldiers, but kept the enemy back with the help of the CWC Defense Army Division, his [[Transformers|Autobots]], and his family. He also signed a peace treaty with [[Count Graduon]], obtaining his troops and services, along with a large piece of land just outside Cwcville. Chris apparently used the land to create prison camps, complete with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_concentration_camps large ovens to keep the prisoners warm and showers]. He claimed that the battle was won because of people praying to the Gamindustri goddesses<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Operation_BARBarossa_is_a_success</ref>.

==Body-sharing with Uzume Tennouboshi==
[[File:Uzume.png|thumb|200px|Uzume as she appears in the series]]

{{quote|Miss Uzume Tennouboshi. She had been dormant inside my Dreamcast, and I pulled her out. We've been sharing my body since. Yes, she is able to control my body when she has control, and speak through my lips in her voice.|Chris, on being possessed by a fictional character.}}

Uzume Tennouboshi, also known as Orange Heart, is a Console Patron Unit (CPU) in ''Megadimension Neptunia VII''. She represents the Sega Dreamcast.

On 8 November, Chris wrote a lengthy missive<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Sharing_my_body_with_a_video_game_character</ref> on the "ongoing" events in his real life, alongside Cwcville. According to him, [[Magi-chan]] teleported to the real world and scanned Chris's Sega Dreamcast, saying there was a powerful force inside the console. Chris left the console on for 24 hours to "charge" it, and then touched it, getting shocked, and somehow pulling out a fictional character into his body. Chris claims Uzume can control his body and speak through him with her own voice.

On 13 November, he retconed his delusion, saying that he had not been sharing his body with Uzume, but a clone of her named "Orange Spiral Seal," also mentioning a battle against "Kurome." He no longer has the voice of Uzume in his head, but still retains "the powers of the four main Goddesses, as well as [his] own powers."<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Mistaken_about_being_linked_with_Uzume</ref>. A fan of the Hyperdimension games deciphered Chris's autistic textwall:

{{quoteboxyellow|According to the lore of Megadimension VII, Uzume Tennouboshi and Kurome Ankokuboshi are two halves of the same being. In the case, the personification of the Sega Dreamcast, with the former represent its potential and the latter its failure.

In the best ending of MDM VII, Kurome is defeated, and Uzume manages to reabsorb Kurome into herself, while the former as the dominant of the two, thus preventing further damage to reality by the latter and rendering them one gestalt being like they were before the split in the backstory.

Chris has apparently read up on this and has rendered his own butchered, bastardized retelling, only tacking on some other nonsense to tie it into his real life insanity.

According to ACTUAL canon, this changes jack shit aside from the fact Uzume's Hyde counterpart to her Jekyll is no longer running around doing evil shit, but that's IT.

The rest is just Chris going further off the deep end.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-neptunia-headcanon-q-a-thread.36274/page-6#post-2764377</ref>}}

==Battery-Charge Heart==
{{quote|Originally Chris created this CPU to restore Christianity to his town, but I told him goddesses can’t worship other gods. Now he uses her to end the rioting and war in CWCville.|Idea Guy<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref>}}

[[File:Battery-Charge Heart intro.jpg|thumb|200px|Panties or pubes? You decide.]]
Battery-Charge Heart; CPU of CWCville, Virginia, aka Tank Destroyer, was created by Chris in response to pressure from [[Idea Guy]] describing the nightmarish state of [[CWCville]]. She made her debut on 11 December via a Facebook post<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts#Introducing Battery-Charge Heart]]</ref>. Fans were quick to point out how she is scantily clad and how it would be tough to fight in the outfit (notice how short the skirt is) - even a Twitter [[white knight]] talked about being disappointed in Chris for [[Women's rights|making the "strong female" have this appearance]].
This originally uploaded image of Battery-Charge Heart appears to include the bottom corner of the holographic [[Card Games|'Sabrina' Pokémon trainer card from the 'Gym Challenge' set]], though the significance of this inclusion is unlikely to extend beyond being a visual symptom of Chris' compulsive [[Chris's room|hoarding of random crap]].

Her armor has [[Ego|Chris's initials]] on it.

Her arsenal includes:

* An exploding [[S-Chu Ball]] launcher
* A shield made from "the best heavy-duty lightweight allow ''[sic]''" , which can withstand 10,000 pounds of pressure
* Heavy-duty lightning blade, summoned from her subspace dimension, which can withstand one-million-plus pounds of force and cut through 100 tons of metal.

Note how the shield is a hundred times ''weaker'' than the sword at protection.

Her powers:

* Being able to rip a tank in half with her hands
* Being able to lift five tanks at once
* Wings which paralyze others on physical contact

Much like with [[Night Star]]'s array of vast mental powers, Battery-Charge Heart's repertoire of incredible physical abilities marks her as yet another wish-fulfillment power fantasy for Chris, who could [[Chris Loses It|barely rip cardboard in half]] and [[11042009 51 50|struggled with lifting 10-pound boxes of soda for bicep curls]].

She is heavily based on Wonder Woman. Her name is based on Battery-Charge Blue, a color by Crayola, which is Chris's favorite<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>. Considering that no original video game consoles are produced in CWCville, it is unclear which Battery-Charge Heart is supposed to represent. Could this be a new form of Chris in the comics..?

==Scarlet==
{{quote|These are Notes about Scarlet, the Console Patron Unit of the Commodore Consoles, and what we will need to do as soon as possible, rather or not y’all believe me. This shit is real.|Chris<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1012757858310639616</ref>}}

[[File:Scarlet Commodore CPU.jpg|thumb|200px|Her name is Scarlet, yet her color theme is blue.]]

Chris unveiled another CPU, this one representing the [[Commodore 64]], in June 2018. He followed up by posting screenshots of text messages between him and another person on Facebook, which detailed notes on Scarlet<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-6-29-18-chris-warns-this-shit-is-real.44905/page-3#post-3512939</ref> He also urged his followers to draw her and pray<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1012757781240217601</ref>.

On 2 July, Chris liked some fanart of her and responded by posting Scarlet's backstory:

{{quotebox|This is a good start. I will tell all of you more of what I know about Scarlet/Blue Heart CPU of Commodore Consoles and the Nation of Comma tomorrow. Meantime, everyone, Please show support for her return by drawing her in artistic styles as best as possible.

For starters, though, Scarlet had lived thousands of years, as long as most other CPUs, ruling over her Nation of Comma in Gamindustri. She is a very kind-hearted and compassionate individual. She always listened well to her people. She was also fair and just, and well-skilled.

These were the days also when the Nation of Tari had not yet fallen. Scarlet and Rei Ryghts used to be good friends. Then Tari fell, and we all know how much of a horrible woman Ryghts ended up becoming after. Comma did not fall until 1992, it landed in an empty area in West Virginia. As the Commodore computers were fading in support in this world, people of Comma left and entered the Nation with other religious viewpoints, and the shares were dropping. Scarlet passed on in illness in 1994, worsened by the fading sharicite.

Scarlet moved her soul and memories into a destined Commodore 64 Console in this world, waiting to be absorbed and reawakened in her new host body. The person has taken in and accepted Scarlet’s memories within the past few weeks. No need to look for her; she differs in physical appearance, but still in as fair of shape as Scarlet was. She will show up soon to help us all when possibly Rei Ryghts makes her attack in this world, or possibly someone else. All we know of who the new CPU Blue Heart is, is that she is a woman who had and still owned a Commodore 64 Console in functional condition. Scarlet is to be supported by everyone, if you all would please, in kindness. I know all this, because I have the psychic-link to our sister dimension, as a Lot of other people in this world do as well.

That is all for now. Thank you all for your support for Scarlet, as well as for me, and for my fellow artists, creators, chroniclers around this world. ⚡️❤️🧡💚💚💙💜💖⚡️}}

In [[The Awakening of a CPU]], Chris mentioned that he is the CPU goddess Blue Heart. So enamored was he that he changed his Twitter handle to "Chris Chan Sonichu/Blue Heart" and edited the bio to:

{{quote|I am Mrs. Christine W. Chandler, Sonichu Creator/Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu, and CPU Goddess of the Nations of Cwcville, Comma, and the Commodore Consoles.<ref>https://archive.fo/v5aVW</ref>}}

{{clear}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Hyperdimension_Neptunia_invades_CWCville1.jpg|Featuring [[Count Graduon]], [[Discord]], [[Night Star]], [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and Uzume.
Hyperdimension Neptunia invades CWCville2.jpg|CWC Defense
Chris depicts reality and fiction blending.jpg|Chris depicting the events leading up to sharing his body with Uzume.
Neptuniatwitter.png
File:MAGfest stuff2.jpg|Chris modifies his [[Medallion]] to include a Share Crystal.
File:Pride_Month_drawing_June_2018.jpg|Uzume appearing in a Pride Month drawing Chris drew in June 2018, after the Idea Guys had been removed from power.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan works==

<center><gallery>
File:Battery-Charge Heart fanart.png|How Battery-Charge Heart would look if Chris was good at drawing.
</gallery></center>

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Ballad of Chris-chan and Uzume Tennouboshi
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4TIUWhCKca0}}
| maker = MadcrazeTV
| stardate = 13 [[November 2017]]
}}

{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references/>

[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

November 2015

2017-04-27T14:58:11Z

Willsaber: "fanmade fangame" is redundant.

[[File:CWCnov15.jpg|thumb|Chris in November.]]

[[File:S&rchuparis.jpg|thumb|The post in question.]]

'''November''' is the 11th month of '''[[2015]]'''. It's the first full-month following the start of [[Chris|Chris's]] [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|probation]]. This month also marks Chris's full transition back to his [[2007|old self]], as seen in the numerous videos he releases. However, this might have been contributed to [[William Elliott Waterman|Waterman's]] antics, who has just joined the KiwiFarms Forums and has been forcing Chris to look at certain stuff or post Facebook posts. Fortunately, Chris booted him off later this month.

==Events==
* 1 November - Chris uploads to [[YouTube]] one of the creepiest [[videos]] since the [[Tomgirl Saga]] began, "[[HelloLadyFans]]."
* 2 November - Chris offers a three-piece set of [[Amiibo]] on [[Etsy]]: "Pre-2011 Christian Weston Chandler," "Post-2011 Christine Weston Chandler," and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
* 3 November - Chris provides a link to his [[HelloLadyFans|new video]] on [[Facebook]], and adds a photo request both there and on YouTube.
* 10 November - A plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[Minor_Family_Members#David_Chandler| David Alan Chandler]], and [[Minor_Family_Members#Carol_Chandler|Carol Chandler]] to "remember" his family, "Family Needs to appreciate Family", is uploaded to Youtube. He makes a request for them to contact Barb "before her time runs out".
* 10 November - Chris makes three custom [[Jerkop]] amiibos that resemble the three family members above. They are uploaded to Facebook and are tagged with their names.
* 11 November - Chris uploads "Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!" to YouTube. He films himself playing with his Amiibos. He also provides a link on Facebook, advertising his Amiibos.
* 11 November - A picture of [[14 Branchland Court]] dating back to [[June 2015|June]] found on Bing Maps is leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]].
* 12 November - "[[Donation Options Reviewed.]]" is uploaded to Youtube. This is one of his longest videos, where he explains the functions of his amiibos.
* 15 November - Chris makes a tactful post on Facebook about the recent terrorist attacks in Paris, comparing them to battles between heroes and villains in cartoons. The post in question is also a shining example of how no matter what happens, [[Ego| Chris simply can't resist putting Sonichu and Rosechu into everything he does.]]
* 15 November - Chris states that Youtube's CwcvilleGuardian account is owned by him, despite no allegations to the contrary and the utter obviousness of this being the case.
* 16 November - A timely post directed at [[Alec Benson Leary]] is placed on Facebook, stating that ''Sonichu'' is, was, and always will be in ownership of Chris.
* 18 November - Chris attempts to dox somebody for the first time in ages. This time, the target is one "Francine", who is currently making a [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_Adult_Chronicles#_CWC_Adult_Chronicles|fangame]] about Chris much to his displeasure. Having [[Hypocrisy|sneered at her for being transgendered,]] it seems that his transformation back into his old self is almost complete... [[Death_threats|with one thing missing.]]
* 24 November - Chris gets a new cat, [[Pollo]].
* 24 November - Chris rants about the [[trolls]] on Facebook.
* 26 November - Thanksgiving Day.
* 27 November - Black Friday, and the start of the [[Christmas]] retail season in America. Chris promised on the 15th that he would provide some deals on his products for this date.
* 29 November - Chris releases three new videos concerning a ''Sonichu'' television jingle, the Sonichu amiibos, and a boycott on several large retail chains.
* 30 November - A photo of a piece of paper lying on Chris's bed is uploaded to Facebook. Chris compares its resemblance to a stray cat as "a fun[ny] visual" and a "fun laugh".
{{Timeline}}

Stress

2017-04-15T06:18:56Z

Willsaber: It's clear from his contemporary videos that the Financhu Crisis is causing him a great deal of stress. Though whether the stress he feels is warranted or not is a whole other topic.

[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating stress with [[Sonichu Special 4|being shot]].<ref name="IRC"/>}}

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

When pressed on his "high-functioning" [[autism]], Chris eventually learned that outside of [[high school]], he can't blame his shortcomings on autism. He discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris had never experienced actual stress in his life prior to the [[Financhu Crisis]] apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[trolls|trolled]]. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress."

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] and talked in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling "stressed" that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives. Chris often cites stress as the reason why he isn't inspired to work on the comics; precisely why ''inspiration'' is needed to make Sonic recolours have sex with each other and kill Chris' enemies is not apparent.

In August 2013, Chris indicated through Facebook that his stress is beginning to take a toll on his health. Given his rather [[Chris and health|unhealthy]] [[Obesity|lifestyle]], it's not unlikely.

==Stress fact==
===Things that give Chris stress===
* Bullies.<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* People at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* [[Pickle]]s
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Niggos]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting a job]]
* Anything requiring him to leave the [[Chris's house|house]]
* [[Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* The existence of [[ED|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* [[Autistic|His "mental block" of autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Being told things he doesn't like to hear
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright Issues]]
* [[Homos|Homosexuality]]
* His daily struggle against becoming homosexual
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[Blanca|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a brushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
* People [[Chris and death|dying]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* Finding out that [[Emily|his date]] was a mole working for the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* Being confronted by [[Kacey| his sweetheart's]] [[Father Call|Father]]
* [[Mailbag|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Being [[friend zone|friend zoned]]
* Having someone [[Liquid Chris|pretend to be him]]
* Having his identity [[Ian Brandon Anderson|questioned]]
* [[Megan|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* Being [[Father Call|cal]][[28 October 2011|led]] a child
* Back when [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly ok)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> <ref name="IRC20081231"/>
* Whenever [[Sega]] changes the color of [[Sonic]]'s arms
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that [[autism]] isn't an excuse for
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for

===Things that relieve Chris's stress===
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>

===Things that Chris does when stressed===
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes Into Slumber <ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly [[Chris and race|racist]]<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Muscle bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]
* Considers suicide<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Sonic Totem

2017-04-08T02:16:45Z

Willsaber: Updated status

[[Image:Sonicfail.jpg|thumb|200px|right|

Ṗ͌ͤͯr̹̝͉͂͆a̬̔̅͗̇͢i̠̣͎͎͚̊͆̊s̜̞̺̅ͩͧ̉e̤̥̳̫͚̤ͯ̔͛͌ͧ̃ ̸͓̺̻ͅG̤̭̲̳̀̓͛͋o͎̻ͯ̀̉̒ͫd͚͆ ̮͎̦̝̼̱̍̎S̝̋ͬ̌ͥo̧͉͇̬̰n̝͇̳͈̗͔̣͞ĩ̔͌̆̌͗c̨̗̱̹̹̟ȟ̡͎̮̜̏̌u̼͋̆͊͛̚̚͘!̠͛̂ ̛̙̗͕͔̍̑ͅPͮ͊͒̀́r͚̼̖̀͛ͭ̓͆͗̉͠a̼͉̖̬ͯ̂̆͠i͖͍̦̩̥͗̓ͯs͉̱̰ͫ̈̓̍ͣe̦͎̯ͪͨͣ͛͌̓̀͘ͅ ̸̭̺ͮL̵͔͉o̫̯͈̘ͫr͍̞̱̮̲d̠͔̬͔̈ͧͨ͑̓ͬ́ ͈̼̩͙̇C̴̲̭͓͎͌̎ḫ̈́͟ͅṛ͐ͭ̋ì̙̤̝̥̳s̶̮̲̭̎-̧̈́̌̑C̦̺̥̝̜̆̿̌h͈͐̇̿a̓̅n̼̆!̠̭̙͛ͣ͋ͬ͒̅͞]]
The Sonic Totem is one of the [[Relics of Fail]], though more shrouded in mystery than any of the others. Created by [[Chris]] at some point before his [[Graduation]], Chris fawned over the piece of art and got upset when he received no awards for it.

The Totem is one of the oldest known Christorical Artefacts, as well as one of the oldest known artefacts to have survived the [[Destruction of Chris's House]]. Originally, the totem was joined by a set of two separate objects; one of [[Pokemon|Pikachu]] and an effigy in the form of a plate depicting Sonic. It is currently unknown if these other artefacts have survived.

The totem has been featured very little in any of Chris's videos. After the [[Destruction Of Chris's House]], many assumed the Totem had been destroyed, but it suddenly reappeared in full view during Chris's [[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement]], and went on to make its most major appearance to date several years after the fire; [[IMG 3207]], (the video where Chris dry-humps a blowup doll trying to get a lesbian couple to mother his baby.)

[[Image:Totem2.JPG|thumb|200px|left|The totem appearing in a 2010 image of Chris's lair.]]

The aforementioned video is the only instance of it being on full display.

On April 7th, 2017, due to the Financhu Crisis, Chris-chan finally acknowledged the existence of the Sonic Totem by putting it [http://www.ebay.com/itm/282425317605 up for sale] along with a small collection of useless garbage on Ebay for $1,500. It was purchased within 24 hours.

==External links==
* http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/people-who-tried-crafts-pinterest-and-totally-nailed-it
* http://geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php
* http://www.ebay.com/itm/282425317605
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10Y7ZkQqZC8&t
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]