CWCki - User contributions [en]

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt

2015-05-11T14:08:41Z

Willy on Wheels!:

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Kengle_Pop-up.gif|55px]]</div>
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:260px-Kenneth_Erwin_Englehardt.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| Kenneth Erwin Englehardt
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Kengle
|-
| '''Religion'''
| Muslim
|-
| '''Age'''
| 56
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Education'''
| DeKalb Technical College ([[Wikipedia:Associate_degree#United_States|AAS]], accounting)
Kennesaw State University ([[Wikipedia:Bachelor of Business Administration|BBA]], accounting)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Unemployed
|-
|}

'''Kenneth Erwin Englehardt''', unaffectionately known among [[trolls]] by the portmanteau '''Kengle''', is Chris's primary ass-kisser on [[Facebook]]. As a fat, autistic, inept, middle-aged, unemployed accountant with a penchant for creating horrifying, warped artwork, Kengle naturally feels as though he shares a lot in common with him.

Kengle is also notable for being one of two confirmed genuine fans of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] during the comic's run (the other being [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#True_fan|"Sonichuizcool"]]).

== Relationship with Chris ==

Kengle's intentions towards Chris seem entirely [[True and Honest]] - although he'll occasionally make what appears to be a subtle jab at him, these are overshadowed by the praise he heaps on him for heroic acts such as sculpting a [[medallion]], having an opinion on a [[video game]], and breathing in and out.

Alas, these affections for Chris go unrequited. Kengle pops up to post on every one of Chris' status updates, usually offering some inane comment. These posts are almost always ignored by Chris. Kengle once tried to host an anti-bullying website, hoping to cash in on Chris's [[Sonic Boom]] protests - the prize being recognition from Chris. [[Sonichu.net#spergweb.com/SonichuOnline (November 2014)|That went about as well as you'd expect.]] Chris immediately dismissed Kengle's forum and fan-site without so much as a cursory glance.

Kengle has also bought several of Chris' [[eBay]] items, and sent him some sardines after Chris' [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]]. Kengle is considered an lolcow in his own right in part due to his bizarre [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] fan comic ''Sonichen,'' which is somewhat reminiscent of low-budget Eldritch abominations. As far as can be deduced, Chris is only vaguely aware of this horrific homage, and disapproves. [[Parody|Ironically]], Kengle justifies his comic as a parody.

== Relationship with Chris's trolls ==
Kengle was banned from the [[CWCki Forums]] because he does not seem to comprehend that there are [[trolls|mean people on the Internet]], and instead believes that everyone is genuinely just interested in Chris as a cool famous Internet dude who everyone wants to befriend. Nonetheless, Kengle's thread on the forum has ballooned to 120+ pages and counting.

In many ways, Kengle is the [[Rosechu]] to Chris's [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]; a useless borderline-NPC character who shows up occasionally to be mildly annoying.

==External Links==
* [http://www.sonichenandrosechen.com/ Kengle's ''Sonichen'' website.] '''Note:''' Will cause nightmares.
* [http://lolcow.wiki/wiki/Kenneth_Erwin_Engelhardt Kengle on the lolcow wiki]

[[Category:People]]

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt

2015-05-11T14:08:03Z

Willy on Wheels!:

Sonichu (comic)

2015-04-21T12:58:12Z

Willy on Wheels!: /* Currently */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:SonichuLogo.png|center|Man's ultimate Rorschach test.]]

{{quote|[[Chris and art|My art]] speaks for me.|[[Chris]].<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>}}

'''''Sonichu''''' was [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s official poorly-[[Art|drawn]] and [[Chris and writing|written]] comic book about the adventures and travails that befell "[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|him]]" and his (imaginary) friends. Despite starting out as a comic about the titular character, it quickly turned into a wish-fulfillment outlet for Chris and his depraved fantasies, with [[Sonichu]] being a main character in name only, playing second fiddle to Chris's almighty [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] self-insert.

==Introduction==
[[Image:SonicVsSonichu.jpg|thumb|180px|[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|THE WORLD'S MOST WAY PAST COOL COMIC!]]]]

The inadvertent shattering of his heart from [[Sarah Hammer]], along with the expulsion from English class, and the confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] provided the impetus for Christian to kick-start the comic series in full force. It initially served as a complement to his [[Love Quest]] as a feeble attempt to link an accomplishment, or boost his own self-worth to unsuspecting prey; after all, [[Sonichu]] ''is'' "Zappin' to the Extreme!" He is Christian Weston Chandler's ''only'' son, and the first ''way past cooler'' [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]!

The comics series has been hosted on the various incarnations of Christian's [[Sonichu site|homepage]] (currently hosted nowhere, except the [[CWCipedia]] archive), and was originally promoted from his now-defunct ''Sonichu'' business cards. Each new addition to the series would proudly sport a "To be continued..." disclaimer page. In fact, the comics are not updated with any regular frequency: in five years, Chris has yet to complete twelve issues, even though Chris has zero responsibilities and unlimited free time.

==Reader's Guide to ''Sonichu''==

===How-to and Overview===
[[Image:JargonPage.jpg|thumb|180px|The ever infamous JARGON page.]]
[[Image:ComicTBCont.jpg|thumb|180px|TO BE CONTINUED (c.) 2001-????]]

The ''Sonichu'' series began with issue #0 instead of #1, and each issue contained multiple separately-numbered "episodes", so [[trolls|readers]] often lost track of which story happened in which issue. For example, [[Black Sonichu]] was introduced in Episode #4, which was the fifth story in the overall series and the first story in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], which was in turn the second comic. Further confounding matters were the [[Sub-Episodes]] about Christian's [[Love Quest]], which appeared in issues #0-4, and were numbered separately from the main stories.

Issues #0 and #1 featured [[Sonichu]] as the unchallenged star of the series, with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] as a supporting character also appearing in the backup strips. By issue #2, the comic had abruptly transitioned to Christian encountering people from his real life in shitty [[anime]] battles. Token attempts to tell Sonichu stories and introduce Sonichu spin-off characters were made in #3, but all pretense was dropped in #4-#7 as the series becomes a vehicle for Christian, as the leader of a heroic [[Chaotic Combo|band of recolors]], to battle against [[Mary Lee Walsh|a college dean]], a group of ineffectual [[Jerkop|security guards]], [[manajerks|store managers]], and later on, [[trolls|internet trolls]] and [[Alec Benson Leary|other people who made fun of the comic]].

The comic series was presented as if it were a cartoon or [[anime]] (which might explain why the comics mimic visual effects that work in an audiovisual context but fail on paper), and was encapsulated into ''seasons'' with various episodes (or "series", for our Eurofag friends). [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] was intended to wrap up the "first season" of ''Sonichu''. This opened a can of worms as to the current vision of the comics: was ''Sonichu'' intended to be the hit action/adventure soap-opera TV show that is broadcast in [[CWCville]], or was it the historical documentation of Christian's and Sonichu's life and times? Perhaps it was destined to be the Gospel from the Stay-at-Home Autistic Virgin Male, [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood.3F|''hallowed be His name'']]. Either way, it remained unanswered whether Christian continues on with the series because he has a vain, misguided belief that some TRUE and HONEST soul would consider these as "storyboards" for proper licensing and production.

===Art imitating life===
Sensing some criticism for the self-centeredness of his work, Christian wrote himself out of the series toward the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], trapping the Christian character in the [[Time Void]] so that the storyline could focus on other characters. Despite this, Sonichu still served as a strong Mary Sue character, as seen in Sonichu fighting [[4-cent garbage.com]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], as well as the clear Sue tendencies of [[Reginald Sneasel]].

He returned from the Time Void at the end of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], giving all non-Chris characters approximately one issue to have the spotlight to themselves, during which they mostly talked about how much they loved Chris and hoped he would return safely. On the final page of the issue, Chris claimed that he would write himself out of the series permanently, giving his characters the opportunity to shine on their own. He went back on this promise almost the moment he made it — issue #10 is one of the most Christian-centric of the entire series.

Following the theft of his [[Medallions of Fail]] by [[Blanca]], Christian immediately released a new comic adapting the theft into his canon and explaining that the TRUE source of his power lay in his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Since this story was necessarily set after Christian escapes the Time Void, it was deemed a special preview of ''Sonichu'' #10, despite the fact that Chris had at that point not finished ''Sonichu'' #8 nor begun ''Sonichu'' #9.

Chris started ''Sonichu'' #11 in [[December 2009]] and completed ''Sonichu'' #10 in [[February 2010]]. Since then, no new pages have been released, apart from a revised ending to issue #10 in [[October 2010]].<ref>[[Book10Replacement]]</ref>

Chris has claimed that in total, he plans to complete 50 to 100 issues in his lifetime.<ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]</ref>

==Currently==
{{Quote|I have not ended Sonichu; I only lost inspiration to draw, thanks to [[Trolls|the people online]].|Chris<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref>}}

On 27 [[May 2010]], Chris announced that he was abandoning the [[CWCipedia]] to the trolls. On 30 [[October 2010]], Chris claimed that the trolls drained his creativity and scared him away from drawing any more ''Sonichu''.<ref>[[DrainedCreativity]]</ref>

On 27 February [[2013]], Chris wrote in a [[Facebook]] post that he might continue, but probably won't.
{{Quote|When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.}}

On 10 [[January 2014]], Chris's house [[Destruction Of Chris's House|was gutted by a fire]]. This potentially means that all of Chris's artwork, including the master copies of the ''Sonichu'' comics, may be permanently lost, but Chris did manage to save his Nintendo DSi, so they possibly survived. They also continue to survive in digital form all across the internet and this very wiki.

In a Facebook post on April 2015, Chris stated that if Sonichu was released as downloadable content for the fourth iteration of the ''Super Smash Bros.'' video game, he would ''consider'' resuming the Sonichu comics. Needless to say, the probability of either of these possibilities is slim to none.

==The Sonichu canon==

===Official releases===

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Episode
! style="background:silver;" width=20% | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot Summary
|-
| rowspan="5"|[[Image:issuezero.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 0|'''''Sonichu'' #0''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #1
| "Sonichu's Orgin"
| Sonichu and Rosechu are created by the Chaotic Rainbow. Kel adopts Rosechu. ''First appearance of [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Sonichu]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Kel]], and [[Rosechu]]. Only appearance of [[Perfect Chaos]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #2
| Sonichu in "Genesis of the Lovehogs"
| Sonichu, [[obesity|hungry]] and lonesome, follows Rosechu home to Kel. They fall in love.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #3
| "Sonichu vs. Naitcirhc" [''sic'']
| Sonichu and Rosechu go shopping; Naitsirhc tries to kidnap Rosechu but Sonichu fights off his Zapdos and rescues Rosechu. Mayor Chris congratulates him. ''First appearance of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].''
|-
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"Classic Sonichu Strips"
| Random stupid stories with Sonichu. ''First appearance of [[Black Sonichu]] (Blake), [[Jerkops]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Only appearances of [[Metonic]], [[Vamprosa]], and [[Barbara Chandler]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #1
| "Christian Chandler in ''Jerkop-tastropie''"
| Chris is [[Calling Out|called out]] by a manajerk and transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu to fight him and the jerkops off.
|-
| rowspan="4"|[[File:issueone.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 1|'''''Sonichu'' #1''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #4
| "Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''"
| The origin of Blake! ''First appearance of [[Doctor Robotnik]], [[Giovanni]], and [[Bill the Scientist]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #5
| "Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''"
| Blake kidnaps Rosechu. Sonic and Sonichu run into each other and then team up.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #6
| "Sonic & Sonichu ''Black Metal Combat''"
| Sonic and Sonichu fight Robotnik's latest creation. ''Only appearance of [[Metal Sonichu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #2
| "Christian Chandler in ''The Rise & Fall of My Heart''"
| The comic version of Chris's encounter with Hanna. ''Only appearance of [[Hanna]].''
|-
| rowspan="4"|[[File:SchuComic3Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 2|'''''Sonichu'' #2''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #7
| "Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''"
| Chris takes over the story as his Sonichu medallion unleashes the power of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. ''First appearance of [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Wes Iseli]], and the [[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]].'' ''Only appearance of the Keeper of the Destiny Cave.''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #8
| "Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''"
| The three empowered hedgehogs meet and fight. ''First appearance of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Saramah Rosechu]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #9
| "Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''"
| Saramah breaks up with Wes-Li as Slaweel the Witch makes her first big attack on CWCville! ''First appearance of [[Count Graduon]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #3
| "Christian Chandler & Sonichu in ''Witch Confront''"
| Chris and Sonichu confront Slaweel!
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Issue3.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 3|'''''Sonichu'' #3''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #10
| "Sonichu Babies"
| The origins of the Chaotic Combo! ''First appearances of [[Wild Sonichu]], [[Bubbles Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Angelica Rosechu]], [[Punchy Sonichu]], [[Sonee and Rosey]]. Only appearance of Nabe, [[Mypoe]], and the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #11
| "The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''"
| Blake steals the Master Sunstone and the Chaotic Combo unite! ''Only appearance of [[Flame the Sunbird]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #4
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack''"
| Chris is attacked in the M-C-D-ville by two Manajerks! ''First appearance of [[B-Manajerk]], [[Merried Seinor Comic]], [[W-M Manajerk]], and [[Darkbind Sonichu]].'' ''Only appearance of Super Chris-chan Sonichu.''
|-
| rowspan="8"|[[File:Issue4.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 4|'''''Sonichu'' #4''']]
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #1
| "Christian Chandler in ''Jerkop-tastropie''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #0.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #2
| "Christian Chandler in ''The Rise & Fall of My Heart''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #1.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #3
| "Christian Chandler & Sonichu in ''Witch Confront''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #2.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #4
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack''"
| Reprinted from ''Sonichu'' #3.
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #5
| "Christian Chandler in ''McAttack Part 2''"
| Crystal appears to save the day as the W-M Manajerk attacks! ''First appearance of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]] and [[W-M Manajerk]]. Last appearance of the [[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #6
| "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"
| Chris gives us an inside look at the Jerkops. ''First appearance of [[ScotPalazzo]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #7
| "Christian Chandler in ''Off-Target''"
| Bagget arrives to attack Chris! ''First appearance of [[Bagget]] and [[Crackder]].''
|-
|bgcolor="blue" height="10px"|
| Sub-Episode #8
| "Christian Chandler in ''Off-Target Part 2''"
| Chris is taken captive, but is rescued by Crystal!
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:SchuComic6Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 5|'''''Sonichu'' #5''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #12
| "Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''"
| Chris attends Sarah Hammer's wedding, which is spoiled by Wes-Li Sonichu. Chris, with the aid of [[Megan Schroeder]], saves the day. ''First appearance of [[Megagi La Skunk]].'' ''Only appearances of [[William Spicer]] and [[Sailor Megtune]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #13
| "Shattered Hearts & Entrapment"
| Slaweel initiates an attack on CWCville, leading to Crystal getting trapped in the mirror! ''First appearance of [[DJ Jamsta]].''
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:Sonichu Issue 6.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 6|'''''Sonichu'' #6''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #12.5
| "One Lucky Dog"
| Chris's dog, Patti, is transported to CWCville and becomes an anthropomorphic dog with magic powers. ''First appearances of [[Patti-Chan]] and [[Allison Amber]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #14
| "Evil is Afoot!"
| Chris and the Chaotic Combo begin their quest for the Sonichu Balls as Reldnahc makes his appearance. ''First appearance of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].''
|-
| rowspan="3"|[[File:Sonichu Issue 7.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 7|'''''Sonichu'' #7''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #15
| "Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''"
| Chris learns the location of one of the [[Sonichu Balls]] and goes to get it. ''Only appearance of [[Sammy]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #16
| "C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''"
| Chris and Sonichu retrieve a Sonichu Ball, only for Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]].
|-
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!"
| DJ Jamsta interviews Blanca and Jiggliami. ''First appearance of [[Jiggliami]] and [[Blanca]].'' ''Only appearance of [[Robert Simmons V]].''
|-
|rowspan="2"|[[File:Sonichu8.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 8|'''''Sonichu'' #8''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #17
| "Rage Against the Garbage"
| After sex, Sonichu and Rosechu learn about [[4-cent garbage.com]] and go to confront Jason Kendrick Howell over his work. They get a Sonichu Ball for their trouble. ''First appearance of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[The Incredible Lioness]].''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #18
| "Spring Break, 2008"
| Silvana makes her move as Jiggliami warns the others of her plans and they get another Sonichu Ball. ''First appearance of [[Zapina]], [[Simonla Rosechu]], and [[Silvana]].'' ''Last appearance of [[Jiggliami]] and Blanca.'' ''Only appearance of [[Yawning Squirtle]].''
|-
|rowspan="2"| [[File:SchuComic9.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 9|'''''Sonichu'' #9''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #19
| "Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)"
| THRILL to the wonder that is Chris's Dating Education classes! ''First appearances of [[Reginald Sneasel]], [[Layla]], and Rita Jackaras.'' ''Only appearance of Ms. Jackaras.''
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #20
| "CWC-Defense"
| The PVCC mounts a massive attack on CWCVille! Chris is later pulled out of the Time Void. ''First appearance of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] and the [[Power Rangers]].'' ''Only appearance of [[BILLY MAYS]].''
|-
| [[File:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 10|'''''Sonichu'' #10''']]
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #21
| "Christian Chandler in ''Director Amenities''"
| [[Ego|Chris rains holy hell on all his enemies!]] ''First appearance of [[Clyde Cash]], [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Lovely Weather]], [[Asperchu]], [[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)]], Metal Asperchu, the [[Asperpedia Four]], and [[Sandy Rosechu]].'' ''Deaths of Reldnahc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Asperchu, Clyde Cash, Jack Thaddeus, Chaotic Combo (Asperchu), Metal Asperchu, the Asperpedia Four, Slaweel the Witch, homosexuality, asexuality, and Simonla.''
|}

===Unreleased issues===
These issues were in the pipeline when ''Sonichu'' was abruptly terminated.

{|class="wikitable"
! style="background:silver;" | Issue
! style="background:silver;" colspan="2" | Episode
! style="background:silver;" width=20% | Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot Summary
|-
| rowspan="2"|[[File:Issue 11 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 11|'''''Sonichu'' #11''']]
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"A Sonichu Christmas"
| [[Christmas]] is coming, and Sonichu, Rosechu, and their children faff about the place doing nothing of importance.
|-
|bgcolor="yellow" height="10px"|
| Episode #22
| "[Clip Show Episode]"
| Chris has stated that "The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed."<ref>[[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Issue 12 Cover.jpg|150px]] [[Sonichu 12|'''''Sonichu'' #12''']]
|bgcolor="white" height="10px"|
| colspan="2"|"A Sonichu Christmas" (Continuation)
| Continuation of the [[Christmas]] special.<ref>[[CWC_Blog#14_February_2010]]</ref>
|}

===Special editions===
These special issues were one-offs intended for [[gal pal|specific audiences]], but subsequently obtained by trolls and publicly released.

{|class="wikitable" style="text-align:center;"
! style="background:silver; | Image
! style="background:silver; width=20% | Issue
! style="background:silver; width=20% | Informal Title
! style="background:silver;" | Plot Summary
|-
| [[File:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special #1'']]
| CWC Holding Out For a Hero
| style = "text-align:left;"| Chris rescues Ivy from the clutches of "Cly". ''First appearances of [[Ivy]] and [[Clyde Cash]].''
|-
| [[File:IvyWedding.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu Special 2|''Sonichu Special #2'']]
| Wedding Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| The fail-tastic union of Chris and Ivy. ''Only appearances of Spas the Cat, Canino Houndhowl, Lilith, Rachel, [[Ching Chong]], and the unnamed priest.''
|-
| [[File:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu Special 3|''Sonichu Special #3'']]
| Giant Penis Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| The even more fail-tastic honeymoon of Chris and Ivy. ''Last appearances of [[Ivy]] and [[Officer Keino]].''
|-
| [[File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special #4'']]
| Gun Comic
| style = "text-align:left;"| [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] "rescues" [[Kacey]] from [[CChanSonichuCWC]] (though it's unclear why Kacey needs to be rescued if she's in a consensual relationship with Liquid), shoots Liquid in the shins, and then makes out with Kacey. ''Only appearances of [[Kacey]], Kacey's mom, [[Matthew Devoria]], and [[Liquid Chris]].''
|}

==Adaptations and related work==
* ''Sonichu'' Remake
* ''Sonichu Issue #11 Smack Jeeves - A continuation of the comic series but, not done in a Chris fashion.
* ''Sonichu'' Finale
* [[Audiobooks|''Sonichu'': The Audiobook Saga (TM)]]
* ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''
* ''Sonichu R'' - A rewrite on ff.net.
* ''Sonichu The Mysterious Hedgimon'' - A re imagining on wattpad.com
* ''Sonichu'' Fan Continuation Project - A fan continuation on sonichufancontinuation.wordpress.com
* ''Sonichu Unleashed'' - Fan Continuation on Deviantart

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu_Comic_Collection CWCipedia comic archive (Episode #20 updates included)]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu TV Tropes: ''Sonichu'']
* [http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html Video stating that ''Sonichu'' is too bad to be featured on Atop the Fourth Wall, which reviews bad comics.]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Comic]]

Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)

2015-02-06T13:33:00Z

Willy on Wheels!:

{{Quote|I would like to thank everyone for helping me get through these last few hectic weeks.|sachumo}}
{{Quote|But there's no sense [[CWC is Sad|crying over every mistake]]. 
You just [[Pull-up|keep on trying]] 'til you [[Cakefarts|run out of cake]]. 
And [[Sex|the science]] [[Comeuppance|gets done]], and you make a neat [[gun]] 
For [[Barbera Chandler|the people who are still alive]].|GLaDOS singing the ending theme to the film.}}

'''''Christian Weston Chandler''''' is an unofficial fan-made documentary film based on [[Chris]]'s life from [[1980s|his birth]] to [[January 2015|early]] [[2015]], directed and created by [[CWCki Forums]] member '''spylobster''' (also known as '''Sachumo''' on [[YouTube]]). It was successfully completed and released to [[YouTube]] on 2 [[February 2015]].

Made in Adobe Premiere in [[GodJesus]]-knows-how-long as a [[high school]] project, the film utilizes several images, videos and production music to take a look at Chris's troubled life, in a mostly serious, reasonable fashion. Regardless, the film also has many intentionally funny moments as well, such as a censored version of the [[sex tape]] where [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] simply jitters around [[Kimmi]], or having Chris [[12 January 2010|punching his camera]] to transition into another scene.

The documentary was highly anticipated, as it was the first of its ilk made (previously, there was only fake movie trailers made out of Chris) and sachumo announced it on the CWCki Forums, leading to hype amongst Christorians. Upon release, ''Christian Weston Chandler'' was well-received, and has over 300 likes as of 3 February 2015.

The film features "[[wikipedia:Still Alive|Still Alive]]" from ''[[wikipedia:Portal (video game)|Portal]]'' as its ending theme. While "Still Alive" is a song primarily sung about the ending to the game and the character of GLaDOS herself, the lyrics to the song strangely fit very well with Chris's life.

==Video==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Christian Weston Chandler''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bXjnakAlF-s}}
| Stardate = 2 February 2015
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/sachumo Sachumo] (Josh L.)
| Subject = {{Tragedy|[[Stress|Chris's Sadness]]}}, {{Reason|[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|Seriousness]]}}, {{Comedy|text}}, {{Music|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Television|[[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Contests]]}}, {{Video games|text}}, {{Rage|[[Chris and anger|Chris's Anger]]}}, {{Homos|[[Homos|Ho]][[It's UGH!|mos]]}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Comics|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| Video Type = {{Fanart|text}}, {{Television|[[American Rabbit|Hour-Length Documentary]]}}
}}

Chris and money

2015-01-19T20:02:11Z

Willy on Wheels!: /* Recent Years */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Cwcshutup.png|thumb|Chris's response to literally any commercial.]]
{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]], understating it.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

Chris has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle '''money''' or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, [[Chris and his Ego|his greed and selfishness]], his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. [[Monthly tugboat|Too lazy to work]], he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that [[Autism|Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is]] and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed!==

For the vast majority of Chris's "adult" life, his only source of income has been the "[[tugboat]]" that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month. In 2009, this payout was $809 a month, placing his annual income at $9,708. Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after [[Bob]] paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive [sic] shoppiness [sic] (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and His Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

===Impulse Spending===

It's obvious that [[Chris]] has no grasp on the real value of '''money''', since he actively wastes as much of his [[monthly tugboat]] as possible on things like [[The Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[PS3|video games]], weekly lottery tickets<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref>, and, more recently, [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]], [[Lego|toys]] and prostitutes. Also, in ''Sonichu'', while legislating as mayor of [[CWCville]], he equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of [[Wikipedia:Community service|community service]] to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PSN]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PS3]] game that he's ever purchased, and even for ''games he doesn't own'', and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely costs about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age - not in Chris's case, apparently.

===Parental Enabling===

[[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] encouraged his son to remain unemployed, since he believed that Chris would earn more money from his monthly tugboat than he would have from getting a job. However, this assumption was and is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: that's $15,100 annually. Subtracting the money he pays his mom every month to live , as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000, which knowing Chris, would spent on yet more frivolities. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulled in annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement came from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or the more accurate notion that his son is a useless failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending (or for anything else) by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on [[list of Chris's video games|frivolities]] and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|courses that could eventually help him onto the employment ladder]] or [[Chris and fashion|clothing that isn't unbelievably tacky]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that Barb will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

===Chris's Beliefs===

Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless shit, he is aiding the economy and paying for the tugboat of others.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> This is a [[Honor Roll|damningly moronic statement]], since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with ''federal'' payroll tax. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Chris and his Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. His mother has served as a bad influence in both regards, as she would frequently shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire hazard]].

===Losing his Tugboat?===

With the possibility that he might have ended up in jail over the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris's bad spending habits would have come back to haunt him. In jail, he wouldn't be able to collect his [[monthly tugboat]], and if a full year passed without him collecting his cheques, he would have to reapply for his welfare, something that would be a bit more difficult under the Obama administration, which doesn't look too kindly on social security due to the stress it causes to the overall economy,<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/us/politics/financial-outlook-dims-for-social-security.html]</ref> and has even started measures to cut them down altogether.<ref>[http://finance.yahoo.com/news/u-winds-down-longer-benefits-152809517.html]</ref> That, combined with the costs associated with court appearances as well as the fact that the last surviving breadwinner, Barbara, may have also landed in jail, would have resulted in Chris being placed in very dire circumstances, something which [[Kacey|several]] [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|have]] [[Mumble 4|tried]] and [[PlayStation Vita|failed]] to warn him about. Fortunately for him, he wasn't sentenced to jail, but the fact that he openly stated during his trial that his mother would pay his court fees is telling of both [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|his character]] and his financial situation.

However, it seems that even this has not given Chris pause, as he got himself into legal trouble [[26 December 2014|again]]. Since he is both a repeat offender and financially drained after his last court hearing, it seems very unlikely that Chris will get off with a slap on the wrist this time, which means that he is once again in danger of losing his tugboat.

===Recent Years===

It is worth noting that despite all of the circumstances ''(and expenses)'' described above, Chris is still wasting money on video games, as evidenced by his playing of ''Rock Band Blitz'' on the PSN, which was released in August 2012, pretty much cementing that even when faced with the consequences of bad spending habits, Chris [[Autism|will learn absolutely nothing.]] He has also spent gigantic amounts of money on [[Lego]] as of 2014, despite the dire straits his family's finances are in since the destruction of 14BC.

In September [[2013]], Chris complained about he and his mom going through "emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By"<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>, making it clear that the family income had dipped since Bob's passing. However, these supposedly lean times were apparently not enough to motivate Chris to get a job, or even to stop buying games, as evidenced by him racking up over $1000 in game purchases over that time period.

In January [[2014]], [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|14 Branchland Court burnt down]]. This would undoubtedly place the Chandlers in grim circumstances, due to the costs of rebuilding the home and replacing what was lost. Many, concerned about Chris due to his wasteful spending habits, hoped that this would be the moment in Chris's life where he finally woke up and realized the importance of saving when things like this happen. Unfortunately, not even ''this'' has given Chris pause - he apparently purchased ''The Lego Movie Video Game'' for his PS3 in February ''(however, it should be noted that due to a huge inflow of troll remorse, it's entirely possible that the game was a donation....or at least it was until it was [[March_2014_Facebook_Posts#Rumour|confirmed that he did indeed buy it himself]].)'' At this point, only time will tell.

In the months that followed, Chris has resorted to begging online for money, placing extra emphasis on ''"My mother and I really need the money,"'' despite dropping more than '''five thousand dollars''' on expensive [[Lego]] sets to feed his worsening addiction. One would think that Chris would have wisened up to the fact that his wanton spending and lack of gainful employment are contributing to his woes, [[May_2014_Facebook_Posts|but one glance at his May 2014 posts]] could easily tell you that he's seeing his situation as an avenue to get stuff from people ''(the most ridiculous of which being a "[[Lego|$300 Sea Cow]]" on his wish list, which would not benefit anybody but himself in the slightest.)'' He has also attempted to sell [[Original_Sonichu_and_Rosechu_Drawing|an original art piece of his]] on eBay ''(logical, though sorely [[Chris_and_art|misguided]]).''

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games ''(racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years; a list which includes useless shovelware, hoards of 1st party Nintendo software, virtual console games and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like.]] 276 of these purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles(''buying '''4''' DSs and DSi consoles''), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or $1657.87/year. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. This information comes on the heels of Chris begging people for money to fix his mother's cavities, as well as the financial worries that [[26 December 2014|his upcoming trial]] will undoubtedly cause.

==Credit cards==
That Chris has managed to acquire several credit cards is very surprising, but the foolishness with which he uses them wouldn't surprise anybody at all. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the [[PSN]] store, but his bill for PSN downloads increased by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By that point, Chris's debt had gotten so out of hand that [[Bob Chandler]] was forced to step in, making Chris reduce and manage on his spending, and forcing Chris to make regular payments to pay off his outstanding debt. Chris, thoughtless and uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit card debt accrues severe interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

Chris provided some more details about this situation in his [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mails to Jackie]] from [[July 2010]]. At some point, Bob paid off Chris's credit card debt and took payment in installments out of the [[monthly tugboat]] in compensation. This foolish act of parental financial enabling allowed Chris to avoid the immediate consequences of his gross financial irresponsibility, and resulted in Chris learning nothing about how to manage his own finances, reinforcing Chris's attitude that [[Chris and his ego|he should be able to do anything that he wants and not suffer any negative consequences]].

=== Best Buy Mastercard ===

Not surprisingly, it only took Chris a few short months to land himself in more financial trouble. In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob himself revealed that Chris had not only acquired a MasterCard charge account through [[Best Buy]], but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had predictably used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, delusional and in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of [[the GAMe PLACe]], claimed that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from any of the near-destitute Chandlers is unknown.

Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point. Bob probably salvaged Chris's credit rating when he paid off all his prior card debt at once, but he angrily claimed Chris ruined it with the Best Buy debt (certainly true), and, in disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seemed to use this damning information to try to make Chris's latest brush with the [[Chris and the Law|law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* [[Troll]]s achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme, just by chance, happened to hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and then he blamed his debt on trolls, in another transparent attempt to avoid responsibility.

===Revelations to Jackie===

One of Chris's [[Jackie E-mails 7|e-mails to Jackie]] reveals that Chris acquired the Best Buy charge card without his parents' permission; he only told them about it after receiving two bounced check fees that showed up on his bank statement, which his father was actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to repay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled. He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his credit cards. From that point until Bob's death, he received only an allowance in the form of Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to accrue any more debt for a short time. At the time, the prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie E-mails 8|stressed him out]].

Curiously, even in his private communications with [[Jackie]], Chris claimed that the overdraft fees that gave away the existence of the card to Bob were the work of trolls. Elsewhere in their conversations, however, he recounts other instances of "getting carried away" and accidentally overdrawing his bank account, suggesting that he was just using the trolls as a handy scapegoat for his own mistakes. Considering Bob shared many of Chris's outrageous delusions regarding troll activity, it is difficult to know whether or not he believed Chris's dubious excuse.

After Bob's passing, Chris once again resumed his thoughtless spending, completely disregarding and forsaking any hopes that his late father had had of Chris becoming financially responsible or independent. Chris's acquisition of the [[PlayStation Vita]] and over 600 dollars worth of video games for that system were proof that Chris had regained control of his money after Bob's death and resumed tossing it away like it was nothing.

==2014==
===June===

Unverified information on Chris's credit card debt was leaked on the CWCki Forums on June 4th, 2014. It was revealed that Chris had at least five active credit cards, with at least $7600 in combined credit limit. Of the five known active cards, at least four were revealed to be maxed out, with at least $7400 in unpaid debt between the five cards. It was estimated that the minimum payment on Chris's known debt was at least $220 a month, and it was revealed that the only reason that Chris had been able to obtain the credit that he had was that, historically, he had almost always at least paid the minimum payment each month, although it was implied that he rarely if ever paid more than the minimum.<ref>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-and-his-finances-an-in-depth-review-of-his-debt.3809/ CWCki Forums: "Chris and his finances: An in-depth review of his debt"] ([https://archive.today/K6R2c archived version])</ref>

Given the Chandlers' financial situation as of June 2014, with most of Chris's tugboat going to help pay essential household expenses, it seems very unlikely that Chris has the financial resources to even pay off a small portion of his known debt, straining to make the monthly minimums each month. In response to his looming debt, instead of seeking financial consulting or trying to get a paying job, [[Chris and his Ego|Chris demanded massive monetary donations on Facebook]], and sought exorbitant prices for his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|crude artwork]] that he was selling on eBay.

===September===
Throughout the summer of 2014, Chris continued to spend thousands of dollars on [[Lego]] and other frivolities, all while whining and complaining on Facebook about his and his mother's poor finances. Chris financed this spending primarily with money from selling custom arts and crafts on his eBay account. Offering free shipping to customers, Chris would receive money from customers, and then pay for shipping out of his own pocket. However, Chris would immediately spend money as soon as it was deposited into his account, often leaving him unable to ship products to customers who had already paid him because of his own financial irresponsibility and negligence.

When several of Chris's eBay customers filed complaints against him because Chris failed to ship a order as promised and obligated, Chris responded by harassing and trolling the customers, posting their personal information in a public post on his Facebook account. In light of this, Chris's future money making prospects from eBay are dim, as most prospective future customers probably wouldn't want to risk being harassed or scammed by Chris.

All the while, even as Chris's credit card debt continued to spiral out of control, Chris continued to buy thousands of dollars of video games, Lego, and other frivolities. As if this were not bad enough, just days after putting his and Barb's cars up for sale, (at exorbitant prices) Chris went out and bought a 2010 Ford Focus, stating on Facebook that he had been approved for a loan, probably at a high interest rate.

Chris also stated that paying for insurance on his new car was "killing" him, implying that either the insurance payment was costly, that he was having trouble paying it, or both. It was commonly speculated on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris and his mother would be unable to afford to keep the car and that it would be repossessed in the near future.

Chris placed two cars for sale on Craigslist in September 2014. One was a dilapidated, rusty 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block that hadn't run in over a year. Despite having a market value (as scrap) of approximately $150, Chris demanded $5,000 for the automobile, insisting that the cracked engine block made the car a great "fixer upper". Chris also placed his mother's BMW Z3 for sale, demanding $15,000 for a car that had a book value of approximately $3,000.

Throughout 2014, Chris continued his foolish behaviors of maxing out all his available credit, paying only the minimums on all his loans/debts, immediately spending money as soon as he got it, and making large, impulse purchases on unrealistic assumptions of future sales and income from various sources. (eBay, car sales, etc) Evidently, even after years of financial hardship, being burdened with debt, and paying a cumulative total of thousands of dollars in interest, Chris has apparently learned nothing about handling his personal finances, and refuses to try to live within the means provided to him by his monthly tugboat.

One dreads to imagine how his financial incompetence will affect him once Barb is dead - knowing Chris, and while it is quite tragic, he'll probably continue in his destructive spending patterns until he loses everything he has, and even then, he'll [[Ego|learn nothing]].

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris IRL. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[United States of America|American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' [[Wikipedia:North Korea|North Korea]].

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States]]; states, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states have historically issued their own money - when they were colonies and during difficult times, such as the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

On the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu, Chris wrote that [[Rosechu]] is usually the one who cooks for her family, but when Sonichu cooks for his wife and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|kids]] he "will go as HIGH in portions as a Banquet", even though he only cooks for five individuals.<ref name=>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Married Life and Children Sonichu]</ref> This suggest that Sonichu is just as frivolous with money as his father.

===Soup hotels===

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to fruition in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, bed, lighting and cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

==In other works==

In [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris loses his mind|Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp, pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, according to Chris, he tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him according to him.

In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless frivolities.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|''24'']]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

== Conclusion ==

Given Chris's carefree abandon when it comes to his spending habits, many are actually concerned as to what will happen to Chris when Barb passes on and he has to fend for himself. If past (and present) experiences are any indication, it's that if Chris continues on his path of not saving his money and spending it on frivolous crap that he doesn't need, he'll wind up broke and in severe debt. A [[Mumble_4|past conversation]] with [[Clyde Cash]] revealed that he doesn't even know the basic expenses that go into running a household, and we all know how Chris's plan of [[PlayingHouse|marrying a sweetheart to dump all of the financial responsibilities on her]] will [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|turn out.]]

Long story short, if Chris doesn't start saving for his future now, then when Barb finally passes on, he won't have one to look forward to. And he'll have nobody to blame but himself. ''(Not that he won't try, of course.)''

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

26 December 2014

2015-01-19T16:34:00Z

Willy on Wheels!:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|On the way to Sears, I peeked into the [[GameStop]], and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their [[Nintendo|Wii U]] Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this [[JERKS|MALE]] Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, [[List of places that have banned Chris|"YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW."]] But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and [[Autism|mentally overloaded]], I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few [[Chris and anger|Peaceful]] [[Chris and negotiation|solutions]], but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.|Chris's [[Chris and reality|summary of the events]].}}
{{clear}}
[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] [[Netflix]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once again for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a video game store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, 6 seconds before the assault.]]

Chris's trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] with something, later confirmed to be pepper spray, on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, clad in full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the intention of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalizing their ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise]] (staff claimed he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple sunglasses intended for little girls]] as a "[[Honor roll|disguise]]". Needless to say, he was immediately recognized by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalize the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the ''Sonic Boom'' games before leaving, but he eventually strode out, as seen in the video, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he (with no provocation) pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee (who was later confirmed to be unharmed), and the store did not close.

The clip of Chris has quickly became viral, earning over 100,000 views as of 5 January 2015. It is now one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|the 1993 contest video]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|CWC-Tok]], the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]], and [[Madman Rising]].

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris had some sort of encounter with a man in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris trying to get in the wrong car in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking JCPenney and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also managed to contact Barbara, who had been eating at the mall with Chris, and had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For more details, observers were forced to await Chris's inevitable account on Facebook when he was released on bond, although little else was gleaned from his incoherent rambling (which can be read below), except him meeting the expectation that [[Sub-episodes|he'd twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] so he could get sympathy out of his [[white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point.

After his video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the full hearing), Chris was released on a bond and promptly took to Facebook to decry this injustice and counter troll speculation, the result of which can be seen below. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any local GameStop or contacting any of the company's employees. His hearing will take place in February.

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of 28 October 2011. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative is out of the question. Chris also cannot bank on his victim asking the court to downgrade the crime from a felony to a misdemeanor, as Michael Snyder did after the 28 October 2011 incident.

[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]

With estimates for Chris's sentence ranging from minor community service to 5 years in prison, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[tugboat]], perhaps [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Considering his very unsound mental state, it is very possible that he will be forced to receive therapy (rather than an evaluation simply to see whether he was a threat to society, like in 2011), something many are [[Chris and psychology|hoping for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has had to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include his parents rushing to his defense (even awakening in the middle of the night to blast trolls on the phone) whenever his actions land him into trouble with anyone, Snyder magnanimously deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, and the CWCki Forums, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]]. Moreover, for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's white knights have consistently coddled him, humored his foolish mercantile ventures and fed his already-gigantic ego, and not a single white knight spoke harshly to him, even while condemning his actions, when he got home ''from prison''. This would all be well and good if Chris could recognize that he should be grateful for his narrow escapes, and take measures to avoid landing in situations like this in the first place. However, since Chris is incapable of introspection, it has instead simply gotten to the point that he [[Chris and his Ego|just expects to be bailed out, or otherwise rescued from the consequences of his own actions]].

On 29 December, it was confirmed that Chris had posted the $2500 bail and left jail. Barb was probably the donor, once again abluting Chris of consequences.

On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]] revealed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed to be true by Chris himself, and indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "badass". This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceives himself as invincible as long he can threaten to mace his antagonists. Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability has previously been generally confined to the comics, but owing to the ever-growing chasm separating him from reality it may have seeped into his conscious psyche.

All things considered, it's doubtful that Chris will learn anything whatsoever from his impending punishment, however harsh it may be. It will more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and retail workers, which in turn will distort his perspective on the real world even further.

== Chris's side of the story ==

{{quote|I WAS the Victim|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}

As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in deep shit if the prosecution sees his (publicly accessible) Facebook. Even his white knights, if not too harsh, seem condemnatory of his actions. It seems that this time around, everyone is against him.

In this illuminating tract, Chris rambles on and on, continually shooting himself in the foot by providing extremely damning information. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight. He tries to portray himself as the victim, implying that a group of professional game designers who barely know an iota of him were directly responsible for ''his'' actions.

Moreover, the revelation that he was aware of the effects of his weapon of choice, added to the circumstances, seem to show that him pepper-spraying the employee wasn't Chris misinterpreting pepper-spraying as a feminine display of contempt. Consider that the man he targeted was by the door, rather than further inside, and was not advancing towards or threatening Chris in any way. This indicates that this was a deliberate, cowardly act of malice on Chris's part, as he deliberately sprayed the last employee on the way out, when his escape was already assured.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Chris's side of the story 2: Electric Boogaloo ==

On, January 11th, Chris posted the following to his [[Facebook]] account, in which he once again paints himself as the victim and wishes that people could like him, even barring all of his other actions from the past. He also says that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the deaths of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png|The listing of his court hearing.
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|The full details.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|Chris's distinctly [[Tomgirl Saga|unfeminine]] mugshot.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

'''Employee 1''': (To customer at register): Twenty-two ten. [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee 2''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven, APC--[''mumbling?'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'm ''???????'' I'll be in that ''?????'' for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with ''???'' Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"
| info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014
}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

26 December 2014

2015-01-19T16:33:26Z

Willy on Wheels!:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|On the way to Sears, I peeked into the [[GameStop]], and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their [[Nintendo|Wii U]] Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this [[JERKS|MALE]] Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, [[List of places that have banned Chris|"YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW."]] But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and [[Autism|mentally overloaded]], I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few [[Chris and anger|Peaceful]] [[Chris and negotiation|solutions]], but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.|Chris's [[Chris and reality|summary of the events]].}}
{{clear}}
[[File:Bluearmsis zpsac2c59f2.jpg|thumb|A [[wikipedia:Orange Is the New Black|hit new]] [[Netflix]] show [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|rocking]] the [[Ruckersville, VA|nation]]!]]

'''26 December 2014''' was probably the busiest day in [[Chris]]'s life since he [[Graduation|graduated]], and is essentially [[28 October 2011]] all over again. Chris is [[Chris and the Law|in trouble with the law]] once again for [[Michael Snyder|assaulting staff]] [[The GAMe PLACe|at a video game store]]. This time, though, it doesn't look like he'll get off the hook so easily.

==Synopsis==
===In GameStop===

[[File:Madman.jpg|thumb|The now infamous photo of Chris, 6 seconds before the assault.]]

Chris's trouble with the law was first brought to the attention of the internet when a Tumblr user named monozettai uploaded a video of Chris spraying a [[GameStop]] [[Manajerks|employee]] with something, later confirmed to be pepper spray, on 26 December<ref name=smokinggun>https://archive.today/ZDHkd</ref>. In the short clip (which can be viewed below) Chris, clad in full [[Tomgirl]] regalia, throws away any [[Trolls#Today|pity points]] he may have earned by breaking three separate laws in one visit to his local GameStop.

Chris, who was already banned from GameStop, went to the outlet at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]] with the intention of [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalizing their ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise]] (staff claimed he'd done this before, which is probably why he was banned in the first place) wearing a pair of [[Chris and fashion|purple sunglasses intended for little girls]] as a "[[Honor roll|disguise]]". Needless to say, he was immediately recognized by staff, who tried to get him to leave. Chris moaned to them about [[Autism|"letting bygones be bygones", so he could vandalize the store's property in peace]]. It's unclear whether Chris managed to do any damage to the ''Sonic Boom'' games before leaving, but he eventually strode out, as seen in the video, commanding the staff "[[Chris and negotiation|Don't call anybody!]]" as if he deserved to be [[Barbara Chandler|shielded from the consequences of his actions]]. It was as he left that he (with no provocation) pepper-sprayed the unfortunate employee (who was later confirmed to be unharmed), and the store did not close.

The clip of Chris has quickly became viral, earning over 100,000 views as of 5 January 2015. It is now one of the most-viewed videos in the CWChronology, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|the 1993 contest video]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|CWC-Tok]], the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]], and [[Madman Rising]].

===monozettai's Account===
After the video was discovered by Christorians at large on 27 December<ref name=forum/>, many [[weening|weens]] flooded monozettai's inbox with questions on his recollection of the event. This is what he had to say about the incident:

{{quotebox|I was in Gamestop looking at the 3ds rack when I heard a racket from my left. I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by 3-4 employees in a corner (I recognized Chris’ voice before their appearance). A woman was telling Chris that they had been banned from the store and needed to leave, to which Chris responded with something like “Oh come ON, can’t we let bygones be bygones?” The employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security. Eventually they dispersed to do so, which is about when I began filming (I had been wondering whether or not I should, but I’d say only about 20 or so seconds had gone by between when I noticed and when I started filming).

 After the video I heard the employees complaining about the use of pepper spray. I didn’t notice it when I initially filmed nor was I ever in the vicinity of the spray, so I can’t confirm anything, but as you can see Chris sprayed something at an employee in the video. I don’t remember seeing that employee around after that so I assume he left. Anyway, a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was “some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic’s arms had changed color, ” or something to that effect. Sadly I did not check to see what happened to the Sonic Boom and only stayed for another 5 minutes or so before leaving, but nothing else of interest happened other than employees running back and forth from the counter to the back room, anxiously talking about contacting security and making sure “he” was gone.<ref name=eyewitness>https://archive.today/GsnsF</ref>}}

===After GameStop===
Most of the sketchy information on what happened in the next hour or so comes exclusively from leaked, low-quality audio from a police scanner, and most details are uncertain. With his duty at GameStop done, and the police on their way, Chris had some sort of encounter with a man in his car in the parking lot (speculated to be an attempted carjacking, or Chris trying to get in the wrong car in a moment of blind panic), who also notified the police. At some point after arriving at the mall and checking JCPenney and Sears, police determined that Chris had left the building around half an hour ago. The police also managed to contact Barbara, who had been eating at the mall with Chris, and had little information to offer, except the make and color of Chris's car (this also marks one of the few times Barb found out what was going on before the trolls did). Clearly, the police didn't catch Chris at the mall, so it is unknown when and where he was caught, but it was most likely the same day. For more details, observers were forced to await Chris's inevitable account on Facebook when he was released on bond, although little else was gleaned from his incoherent rambling (which can be read below), except him meeting the expectation that [[Sub-episodes|he'd twist the tale to make himself look like a noble activist]] so he could get sympathy out of his [[white knights]].

[[File:Dec2014cwcjailphonecall.jpg|thumb|Expert recreation of Chris's first night in the pokey.]]

On 28 December, a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] [[Jail calls|contacted Albemarle Regional Jail]] and confirmed that Chris was being held there, and was awaiting video court the next morning. Assuming Chris was caught on the day he committed his crimes, he had been in jail for two days by this point.

After his video hearing on 29 December (which only consisted of the judge setting bail/bond conditions and a date for the full hearing), Chris was released on a bond and promptly took to Facebook to decry this injustice and counter troll speculation, the result of which can be seen below. The following month he revealed in a Facebook post that, in yet another development mirroring 28 October 2011, the judge placed a restraining order on Chris as part of his bail conditions, forbidding him from setting foot in any local GameStop or contacting any of the company's employees. His hearing will take place in February.

===Aftermath===
A followup call from a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] troll<ref name=forum>https://archive.today/KbrlM</ref> revealed that the employee will be pressing charges, in a development remarkably similar to the events of 28 October 2011. If the claims by the troll are indeed true, it is likely that Chris will be facing severe legal penalties, as his crime was technically malicious assault, as well as the laws he broke by not only refusing to leave a premise he was banned from but quite possibly also vandalism of their merchandise. That's without factoring in whatever he got up to in JCPenney, Sears or the parking lot.

Whatever he's charged with, Chris is unlikely to receive a lenient sentence this time for a number of reasons. First, he's a repeat offender, which won't look good to the judge. Second, he and his mother are already in [[Chris and money|deep shit financially]], having squandered their inheritance from [[Bob]] on hiring [[Rob Bell]] after the incident in 2011, so Chris getting a good representative is out of the question. Chris also cannot bank on his victim asking the court to downgrade the crime from a felony to a misdemeanor, as Michael Snyder did after the 28 October 2011 incident.

[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's mugshot. Note that killer pout, and lazy eye.]]

With estimates for Chris's sentence ranging from minor community service to 5 years in prison, everything's up in the air at the moment. There have also been suggestions he may lose his [[tugboat]], perhaps [[14 Branchland Court|his home]], or maybe even become a ward of the state. Considering his very unsound mental state, it is very possible that he will be forced to receive therapy (rather than an evaluation simply to see whether he was a threat to society, like in 2011), something many are [[Chris and psychology|hoping for]].

Consensus among his observers is that the time has come to stop giving Chris leniency. So far, every time he has had to face the consequences of his own actions, he has been let off quite easily. Examples include his parents rushing to his defense (even awakening in the middle of the night to blast trolls on the phone) whenever his actions land him into trouble with anyone, Snyder magnanimously deciding to drop felony charges for Chris after 28 October 2011, and the CWCki Forums, of all people, putting together a care package for him after [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire]]. Moreover, for the duration of [[2014]], Chris's white knights have consistently coddled him, humored his foolish mercantile ventures and fed his already-gigantic ego, and not a single white knight spoke harshly to him, even while condemning his actions, when he got home ''from prison''. This would all be well and good if Chris could recognize that he should be grateful for his narrow escapes, and take measures to avoid landing in situations like this in the first place. However, since Chris is incapable of introspection, it has instead simply gotten to the point that he [[Chris and his Ego|just expects to be bailed out, or otherwise rescued from the consequences of his own actions]].

On 29 December, it was confirmed that Chris had posted the $2500 bail and left jail. Barb was probably the donor, once again abluting Chris of consequences.

On 3 [[January 2015]], an e-mail leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]] revealed that Chris had behaved in a bellicose manner at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and threatened to use his mace. This was soon afterwards confirmed to be true by Chris himself, and indicated that he wielded the pepper spray because it made him feel like a "badass". This statement worried many onlookers, as it suggests Chris perceives himself as invincible as long he can threaten to mace his antagonists. Chris's notion of his own infallibility and invulnerability has previously been generally confined to the comics, but owing to the ever-growing chasm separating him from reality it may have seeped into his conscious psyche.

All things considered, it's doubtful that Chris will learn anything whatsoever from his impending punishment, however harsh it may be. It will more likely simply resuscitate [[Chris and anger|his old grudge against]] [[Jerkop|police officers]] and retail workers, which in turn will distort his perspective on the real world even further.

== Chris's side of the story ==

{{quote|I WAS the Victim|Chris, meeting everyone's expectations}}

As with the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris just couldn't help but give his own self-serving account of events. Not surprisingly, Chris refuses to admit any fault in the incident - aside from claiming ignorance to the effects of pepper spray, a claim he immediately disproves by admitting that he sprayed ''himself'' with the stuff several days before the incident - and tries to blame the store employees for "intimidating" him, and Sega for changing Sonic's arm color in the first place. Unlike his previous run-in with the law, where he was at least smart enough to only mention the exact details in a personal e-mail to a [[trolls|close friend]], Chris posted this to his [[Facebook]] page for all to see, meaning he's in deep shit if the prosecution sees his (publicly accessible) Facebook. Even his white knights, if not too harsh, seem condemnatory of his actions. It seems that this time around, everyone is against him.

In this illuminating tract, Chris rambles on and on, continually shooting himself in the foot by providing extremely damning information. He proves the above point that he expects to go unpunished for everything by saying he had expected GameStop to ''ignore the fact that he had attacked one of their employees''. Apparently he thinks they should be grateful he didn't stop to mace everyone in sight. He tries to portray himself as the victim, implying that a group of professional game designers who barely know an iota of him were directly responsible for ''his'' actions.

Moreover, the revelation that he was aware of the effects of his weapon of choice, added to the circumstances, seem to show that him pepper-spraying the employee wasn't Chris misinterpreting pepper-spraying as a feminine display of contempt. Consider that the man he targeted was by the door, rather than further inside, and was not advancing towards or threatening Chris in any way. This indicates that this was a deliberate, cowardly act of malice on Chris's part, as he deliberately sprayed the last employee on the way out, when his escape was already assured.

{{quotebox|1=Attention Everyone!!!

To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!

If ‪#‎SEGA‬ had Never changed them, or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games AND Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network, as well as the Toys and whatever else, I would Never Have Had to Protest and Rebel the way I have, including the creation of my group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]]

Within my groups, I have lead by example to push forward to the path of Waking SEGA Up and Forcing Them to Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately. And to confess, I HAVE DONE MY PART FOR REAL! I had personally gone into three of the four local GameStops (EXCLUDING the Fashion Square one) THREE TIMES to Personally Protest in my Silent Way. First Attack: I printed, as seen on the Facebook Group, the Fronts of the Sonic Boom Game Inserts, affixed double-sided tape onto the backs, and affixed them onto the fronts of their respective display game boxes on the shelves. Second Attack, about a week later: I checked the success of my first attack: damaged a few original inserts pretty well to full removal. And of what were still there, I made attempts to transfer the inserts from the original cases into Behind the inserts of different games. I've had to briefly explain my reasons and the Protest, and told them that they should NOT BE SELLING THE BLUE_ARM_BANDIT GAMES IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND THAT THEY SHOULD SEND ALL OF THEIR REMAINING STOCK OF SONIC BOOM GAMES AND STUFF BACK TO SEGA, TO MAKE THEM CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! They did nothing. And one last week later, the Third and Final Attack, and the ONE and ONLY time that the Fashion Square Location had been involved as well. I made up and printed faux price tag decals, with the short note to discourage purchase of the Blue Arm Bandit games, and promote the Protesting Boycott. And with the Five Wii U software cases that each melted a bit from the MY House Fire Last January, as well as Five Smoke Damaged 3DS Game Cases (no melting), I had printed a full front, side and back insert with the boycott encouragements, and the notes on the back to make the stores send their remaining stock Back To SEGA!

I Have ran into individuals giving me Bad Grief for my Protest and Actions, OUTSIDE from the Fashion Square Location, but I HAVE done my duty in full to the best of my abilities at the individual moments and circumstances.

I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys ''R'' Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and crestfall. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!

Anyhow, AFTER the Final Attack for the Protest, near a week later, on December 8, I had typed, signed, addressed and US Mailed apology letters, with the promise to have been done with my In Person Protest Deeds with No Further Action therein, to ALL but the Fashion Square GameStop, and I had sent one to Toys R Us as well. I had thought the FS GS would overlook the ONE attack of Protest on them, but obviously, I was mistaken.

Which brings us up to now.

Last Friday, the 26th, my mother and I were at the mall, getting pizza and spaghetti for lunch. She had informed me of a good Mini Refrigerator deal at Sears, so after eating, I made my way to check it out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AT SEARS, and I went NOWHERE NEAR JCPENNY that day. There was a good 3.1 Cubic Foot Fridge for $129.99 that caught my eye, but that is to be purchased later.

On the way to Sears, I peeked into the GameStop, and I spotted a New Skylander Figure: Blastermind. I was set to buy it, and I was going to consider checking out their Wii U Preowned Software selection in their 3 for 2 deal. Innocent; I was NOT Looking for Trouble. But then this MALE Loomed out in front of me, frightened the crap out of me, and he said in a BOOMING VOICE that ONLY scared me worse, "YOU ARE BANNED FROM HERE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW." But still determined to continue my shopping, I veered into the Wii U direction, when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well. Still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded, I made a grab for my pepper spray to use In Defense. I offered a few Peaceful solutions, but she ended up sending him to go get security. So, I shouted, "Fine! I'm Leaving", and I dropped the figure. And on my way out, I told the MALE to Not Get Anyone, and we both stopped near simultaneous. I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left.

I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.

I had No Idea of the contents of the Pepper Spray, OR that it was Illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all.

And, I HAD tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom. A Two Second Spray onto my left wrist, some of it got onto the bath tub wall as well. Like sampling a perfume or deodorant. It Took Me Out damn well. I had to open the windows, turn on the bathroom fan AND aim the box fan into the bathroom to air the place out, and I wiped the wall off as well, and OF COURSE I washed my hands. It took fifteen to thirty minutes to make it bearable in there again.

In the end, Yes, I went along peacefully when the "Police" arrived to collect me, and I had to spend a miserable weekend in Jail. And I just got out on a bond and bail; yada, yada, yada.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

And we can SUE SEGA for Changing Sonic's Arm Colour and Ultimately, this MALE getting Pepper Sprayed! Think About It Seriously!

And my Protest Actions are NOT acts of "Vandalism", regardless of your individual perceptions. It was NOT Vandalism, but Good Protest when in around 2004, At Fashion Square, I tried their NEW Soda machines with a credit-debit card slot, and then I learned of the FIVE DOLLAR SURCHARGE that brought my bank account into the Freaking Red! I subtly Posted Sticky Note Signs onto each machine shortly after, "This Machine Charges You Five Dollars per Card Use". A few days later, the Original Machines returned! Nobody gave ME Any Freaking Grief or Complaints at all about that!

AND if you REALLY want to see the Whole Mess Happen, go find the Security Tape of the time of Point A, my finding Blastermind to Point B of my departure from the store.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a LOT of much required Packing to Take Care Of.

Good Day. <ref name=Chris>https://archive.today/HQknP</ref>}}

== Chris's side of the story 2: Electric Boogaloo ==

On, January 11th, Chris posted the following to his [[Facebook]] account, in which he once again paints himself as the victim and wishes that people could like him, even barring all of his other actions from the past. He also says that ''nobody should be banned from a store unless they are carrying a gun''.

{{quotebox|Just Listen; Do Not Comment or Respond; I am being Very Serious.
I Really Wish People would Positively Like Me. I can not make people like me, and if they dislike me, for their own individual reasons beyond my own comprehension.

I can not change their minds. But, to my utmost dismay and sadness, should I be threatened, or be made to feel threatened, I Will defend myself to force some respect from them.
All I would ever want is a good day and some peace of my own mind; I do not intend, nor have ever intended, unprovoked, to offend anyone.
And if my good day is turned bad, because of me feeling threatened by anyone, and then I feel those individuals immediately deserve to have a bad day themselves (and continue living on from there),
then it is Their Fault for pushing me into the defensive position in the first place.
It really does make me feel sad and most disappointed of the other people when they give me such grief to the point that I have to be put into a position to force some respect out of them.

And I have been growing more paranoid of Other People since November of 2007 with the damn bad people over the internet,
as well as those I have had the displeasure to have encountered in person who have shown me nothing but a difficult time and even more grief.

Also, I sincerely believe nothing would ever be gained from killing anyone, including myself; all that does is forces one or the other into their next realm or life;
Nobody really Learns or really Benefits anything from the deaths of any person. That is why I would never own, or want to own, a real gun.
"Look out, she's going for her mace!"
"What? Would you rather I have a gun with bullets in it?"

And that is another thing everyone Should be Aware of: I AM A FEMALE SOUL, and I Prefer to be referred to by the Female Pronouns. Any address of "Sir", or "Man" upon me, will only be met by a cold shoulder or stare in their general direction.

And NOBODY should ever be BANNED from a high-volume store like Wal-Mart or Target for anything less offensive than a gun withdrawl or robbery. We All Have Bad Days, and unless we actually Hit a Person or living individual or similar actions, in how we individually react to how we are feeling at the ONE Moment, aside from the other Individual Moments, To Ban an individual is just plain wrong.

And acts of protests with JUST Meanings, do not deserve any damn grief either.

Just Let Me Live On In Peace, Let Me enjoy my Good Day and Pleasant Shoppings and Outings, and DO NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I have No Intention Whatsoever to harm Any Individual Person or Myself. So, Please, Do Not Give Me Reason to be Forced to Defend Myself to garner any respect. All that does is give us all a Bad Day from a Good One.

Good Day. }}

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:ChrisGameStopShort.png|The listing of his court hearing.
File:ChrisGameStopFull.png|The full details.
File:Chris%27AssaultAccount.png|Chris's violently insane version of the incident.
File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|Chris's distinctly [[Tomgirl Saga|unfeminine]] mugshot.
File:PROTESTING_SANIC_BUM.jpg|The defacement Chris intended to wreak.
File:Goofytime PTSD Employ2.jpg|Retail employees will now have Chris haunting their nightmares.
File:Tomgrrllyfe.jpg|Chris after life on the inside.
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg
</gallery>

== Video ==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop Assault
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yJkjjpFM97w}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Manchester Sweatshirt
| previous = [[Brushfire Video]]
| next =
}}
=== Transcript ===
[''A beep, most likely from the checkout machine, is heard as Chris walks near the camera. He blows a raspberry, presumably at monozettai, as he passes the camera'']

'''Chris''': Don't call anybody!

[''Chris struts confidently towards the store entrance. Unintelligible background noise from other customers can be heard, and a family at the counter can be seen in shock at the horror they've just witnessed.'']

'''Employee 1''': (To customer at register): Twenty-two ten. [''laughs'']

[''Chris sprays a yellow-shirted employee with pepper spray, who recoils in self-defense.'']

'''Employee 2''': Whoa! Hey! [''mouths "what the fuck"'']

== Police Scanner Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Police scanner
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pk-Oa8BinxE}}
| stardate = 27 [[December 2014]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}; {{Other|[[Sonic Boom Protests]]}}
}}

===Transcript===
{{Transcription}}
{{Incomplete}}
[''The entire audio is messy, grainy and hard to hear. If there are any inaccuracies in the audio, please feel free to help.'']

'''0:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven, APC--[''mumbling?'']

'''Rookie:''' I'll cover it.

'''Cool cop:''' Stay there.

'''Old cop:''' He's at Fashion Square Mall. I'll get him. He's not in Shoppers World. I'm probably gonna pull up in the community and park the car. ''(CUTS OUT)'' and then...I'll go...check the car. He is described as a ''([[Stress sigh|sighs]])'' white male, 5-foot 9, with long brown hair. He was wearing two sets of glasses and [[Plush Breasts|fake breasts]]. ''(Someone in the background says "what the hell?")'' The name is supposed to be "Christopher Chandler".

'''1:00'''

'''Rural cop:''' I'll go and do it. I'm on location.

'''?:''' Okay.

'''?:''' Doin' okay.

'''?:''' Thank you, Ethan.

'''?:''' No problem.

'''?:''' Uhh... I'm ''???????'' I'll be in that ''?????'' for a little bit. Three-nine can just run it.

'''?:''' Fine, Arthur. Three-nine, you got... Yeah. He can just route a call from our phone. Okay.

'''?:''' Uh, have you sent out that thing from here, ''?????'' Thirty-nine can just draw it.

'''?:''' Uh, ''????'' and ''?????''

'''?:''' Roger.

'''2:00'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''2:26'''

'''Mike:''' ''?????''

'''Woman:''' Thank you, Mike.

'''2:32'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''3:23'''

'''?:''' Seven-six APC.

'''?:''' Copy, seven-six.

'''Rural cop:''' Someone here at the mall with ''???'' Chandler. A long time here. Trespass. Banned from the mall.

'''?:''' ''????'' uh, you got ''??????''

'''4:00'''

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven.

'''Rookie:''' Copy.

'''?:''' Uh, ''?????''

'''Rookie:''' That's correct.

'''Old cop:''' APC RP five-seven. ''(PAUSE) ?????'' seven-six

'''4:45'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''5:14'''

'''Ethan:''' ''???'' before seven APC

'''?:''' ''?????''

'''Ethan:''' Could I have the report number please?

'''?:''' Ethan, your number's 10725. Ten seven two five. ''(PAUSE) careful??????''

'''Ethan:''' ''????'' three units.

'''?:''' Sir, can you get me the report number ''????????''

'''?:''' ''?????'', you have, uh, 10726. Ten seven two six.

'''6:09'''

''(SILENCE)''

'''7:00'''

'''?:''' APC ''?????''

'''Woman:''' ''?????''

'''Old cop:''' ''?????'' car ''???????????????'' in the area ''????'' might have come from a house ''?????'' I'll check the ''book????''

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading of Chris' Facebook Post
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1mNy4oamILA}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7EpM9PXIn3bTIlJYiP1xWg BrendanielReads]
| stardate = 29 [[December 2014]]
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Fought the Law
| video = {{#ev:youtube|M2cKgb9xU2o}}
| stardate = 30 [[December 2014]]
| maker = FavoretFox
| subject = 26 December 2014
| type = [[Parody]] of The Crickets' "I Fought the Law"
| info =
}}
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tyrone Declares Chris Chan's Innocence
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0A2p_OgkZw0}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2015]]
| maker = Based Tyrone
| subject = 26 December 2014
}}

== See also ==
* [[Chris and the Law]]
* [[GameStop]]
* [[Jail calls]]
* [[Sonic Boom Protests]]
* [[28 October 2011]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]