==A Taxonomy of Fail==
While I'm flattered that people have caught onto my taxonomy of referring to Chris's personal items as relics of fail with the suffix "Of Fail" (in the spirit of the Spear of Destiny), there's some confusion about what constitutes a relic. I'd like to chime in based on what I understand from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_relic#Roman_Catholic_classification_and_prohibitions the Catholic opinion of Christian relics].

Things that Chris have touched are relics (the [[medallion]], his [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]], etc.) These are personal items that have significance to Chris and in some cases, even factor into the comics. Analogous real world relics would be the Spear of Destiny, the Shroud of Turin, the Holy Grail, etc. These are items that are significant to the lore of Jesus of Nazareth in a similar fashion to Chris's relics factor into the lore of Chris. Any sort of part of Chris's body that can be collected, like hair or toenails, would be considered a relic in the same way that Muslims revere locks of hair or footprints of the Prophet Muhammad so when we get more stuff about the locks of hair Chris sent to his TRUE and LOYAL Mexican fan, we can document more on that (in fact, we actually do have that! I need to find the pics though. I should be getting my locks of hair soon).

So, what's not a relic? [[Creepy Stare of Fail|A stare]] is not a relic - you cannot obtain a stare. As long as Chris is alive, a finger is not a relic. While limbs of saints are considered holy relics (from what I understand, in Medieval times they had problems of pilgrims ripping off fingers and toes of saints), as long as Chris is alive you cannot obtain his oversized finger (unless you somehow convince Chris to chop off his finger, which he might seriously consider if [[china]] is involved).

I'm iffy about the oversized straw being a relic, as it's more of a graphic exaggeration that [[trolls]] find amusing than an actual, single straw that Chris uses to drink (though there's been some postulation lately that due to Chris's comments about how he slobbers, he might have a special straw he uses which explains the huge ass straw in the comic). While [[The Wall of Originals]] and [[Megan Shrine]] are mega important to Chris, they're not quite a single relic but more of a place or collection of relics, so I've considered them as Shrines.

tl;dr - if you can obtain it and it's of some significance to Chris, it's probably a relic. If not, then it's not a relic. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:19, 7 April 2009 (CEST)

:*I'm going to try to re-organize the relics into three categories: "major", "minor", and (I suppose I'll bring back) "lesser". Right now, there seem (to me) to be too many "major" relics, some of which are much more important than others. The less important "major" relics should be demoted to "minor" relics, and a few relics that are currently "minor" should in turn be demoted to "lesser". I don't foresee many complaints with the shuffle that I've got in mind, but I'm posting this here ahead of my actual page edit later today as a heads-up. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 13:45, 1 October 2009 (CEST)

==Guideline for Relic classification==

Let's take a religious approach to the current situation. Let's say that Chris is the "Messiah-of-Fail" and his comic is his gospel.
If he's set to becoming a full-flegged religion (please refrain from barfing) after his death, how his relics would be rated? Here's my idea:

*Major Relic: any object that has appeared at least once (1) in the "Gospel" and exist in real life. things like the [[Amnyfest Ring]], [[Attraction Sign]], [[Medallions of Fail]] and the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] fit right in. The [[Transformers|Megatron toy gun]] should be added here due to his appearance in [[Sonichu Special 4]].
*Minor relic: anything Chris named in his videos but failed to appear as such in the comic. The [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] and the [[Transformers|Optimus Prime toy]] fit right in. Anything Chris drawn and made should also fit right here.
*Lesser Relic: Anything Chris use as a prop and was yet to be named by him. The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]], the [[Clown Doll]], the [[Sex toys|Plush Boobs of Fail]] and the [[PSEye]] should be here.

Do I have something here? Any comments? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:04, 15 November 2009 (CET)
*But wouldn't that system make those stupid wing hair clips a major relic, since they've been both in real life and a plot point in the comic? Not that it's not complete and utter failure to act like he did about things meant for a (rather young) girl, but they were a minor thing which hardly qualify to be listed as major. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 00:47, 16 November 2009 (CET)
:*Good point. But the major point of the original taxonomy was that we were getting things like "The Oversized Finger of Fail", "The Creepy Stare of Fail", and things that aren't really relics. It's like saying that the look on the face of Jesus is a relic which isn't the same thing as the Holy Grail or the Shroud of Turin.
::The point is, whatever the outcome of this discussion is, we need to agree that a relic is a physical object that a troll could in theory obtain and destroy. I think when I started the current classification, it was more or less based on the sentimental value that it would be to Chris. Chris would freak out if someone destroyed his high school ring. His Wii Remote, probably not. CWCki serves to not only to document Chris but also to aid trolls who wish to troll him and I think if people want to take the Blanca route of taking something precious to Chris and destroy it, we might as well give people an idea of what would make Chris crash into slumber. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:58, 16 November 2009 (CET)
:::As a base, I have to agree that the term "Relic" must describe a physical object. If not, every single thing Chris made and/or do can fit as a relic. Maybe adding the "Will cause emotional stress if lost/destroyed (Read: Target)" is enough. I am not inclined to create a fourth super-relic class, it would make the page looks silly. My goal here, and I hope it is shared, is to create a simple relic classification system where the simple beginner can use. Three or four questions should suffice to dictate where the object belongs. In example: Do the object appear in the comic? Do the object got a name? Do the object got a sentimental value for Chris? Do Chris use the object to exalt his "Virtues"? On the same idea, I have a hard time understanding why the PSEye is a major relic. Chris dint name it, dint decorated it and doesn't even care about it. Why it's a major relic? it makes no sense! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 08:22, 16 November 2009 (CET)
::::*I agree with you there about a simple system that a newfag can use, as that's something we need to definitely aim for. As for the PSeye, probably because it's his means of communication to us, the Internet public, not to mention that it's cured his autism as he's practiced making eye contact with it and he magically overcame his autism (see the PSEye article on that. If it's not there, then we should mention it). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:26, 16 November 2009 (CET)
* I'm pretty sure those boobs are rubber, not plush. A friend used to work in an adult bookstore/porno theater and they had these rubber boobs you could fuck in the same section of the counter they kept the male sex toys, which looked to be of poor quality. There were some rubber boobs with built-in vaginas and anuses on one side for extra terror, and some of these were supposed to be molds of some porn star's boobs. The idea is to hold onto the boobs while you fuck the area between them, or whatever orifices they've built in. It's a weird and creepy sex toy and it would be just like Chris to own it. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 11:42, 16 November 2009 (CET)
:* Looked at the Spencer's page. Never mind, I agree. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 10:24, 22 November 2009 (CET)

== Gun article needed ==

--[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 12:16, 16 November 2009 (CET)
:*[[Megatron pistol|Here we go.]] [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:13, 16 November 2009 (CET)

==Holy Grails (more like HOLY FAILS)==
If people think it's out of line, I'll remove it, but I'm adding a section of fabled documents and relics of Chris that trolls should try to procure and that are of value to trolls. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:49, 22 November 2009 (CET)
*Also, can someone find Chris mentioning the autism papers? I've sworn he mentioned them in a Liquid video." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:57, 22 November 2009 (CET)
:*It's in one of the to-be-released Kacey chats. Chris says his sleeping dad has the key to the locked filing cabinet that would have to be sorted through for hours and on top of that his scanner's broken. Very mysterious. Chris might have demanded that ''Liquid'' show his autism papers, as proof of his identity. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 10:43, 22 November 2009 (CET)

==Legendary Relics of Fail==

I suggest a new category: '''Legendary Relics of Fail'''. It's for those relics we have never actually seen, but they have been mentioned, etc., in the comics, and are implied to be real (at least, when the comic in question was made). This category could include: Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail, Anime Wings, DS of Fail (featured in Sonichu 1 Sub-Episode 2), etc. How about it?

Also, somecummpentydifferent. Should we probably: a) add the Guideline for Relic Classification in the article (as it's useful info), b) delete the "Artwork of Fail" section, as it's been established that a Relic of Fail should be a physical object? [[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 11:14, 23 November 2009 (CET)

==Proposed Addendum for Naming Relics==
You know, I just thought of something that may be of use when decided to name articles - I think the suffix "of Fail" should be limited to something Chris has forged from his own hands. For instance, the Medallion of Fail is Fail because Chris made it himself. His PSEye would not because, while it captures his fail, is not necessarily fail because it's just a regular PSEye.

Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:09, 26 November 2009 (CET)
*By the way, this isn't about classifying them. Something like the Megatron pistol can be a Relic of Fail but we wouldn't need to say it's the "Megatron pistol of Fail" for instance. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:12, 26 November 2009 (CET)
:*I suggest the classification as a whole should be not about naming or quotes or smth, it should be about the role the relic plays in Chris's mythos. Yes, it means some relics can be upgraded/douwngraded over time. As for the "of Fail" suffix, it may be just used when it's needed to denote that this relic can't possibly be win, despite its original statue. E.g., "Megatron pistol" is enough fail (for a 27-year-old to use), so it doesn't need a suffix "of Fail". Medallions in general may be win or fail, so we need to add that this here Medallion is "of Fail". Just my two cents :) --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 13:55, 26 November 2009 (CET)

==Fusion==

Almost every single relic of fail article is a stub, and there's no real way to add content to those pages. I suggest that we merge all of these stubs with this article to remove some unavoidable stubs. Some of the longer articles can stay where they are, but I think it's better to have one long page over 10+ stubs. This would also help with categorisation (maybe) because the system we have seems pretty normative to me, and that pisses me off for some reason. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 11:15, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Parappa Beanie of Fail?==

I'm going to suggest adding that [[Parappa]] beanie that Chris is so fond of, since he's worn it a couple of times. I'd also like to note that it actually appeared in the comic, where it granted Sonichu the paper-thin aspect present in the games. [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 22:21, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

I would agree with this, except I don't think he's worn it nearly enough to call it a Relic. --[[User:MEANWHILE|MEANWHILE]] 23:26, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

I dunno, it seems to qualify enough under the requirements of the Taxonomy of Fail. It seems to hold value to Chris, because he caps-locked HIS when describing the hat, meaning Chris may consider it to be more than meets the eye. Also, the Pokewalkers got an article, and they're even more minor than the hat, imo [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 03:04, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Relics of Fail

2010-07-14T22:21:15Z

Woohah Master:

PaRappa the Rapper

2010-07-14T22:16:52Z

Woohah Master:

[[File:12651686076.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation]]
[[Image:Parappa.jpg|thumb|''PaRappa the Rapper'' for the [[PSP]]]]
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|ChrisChan the Rapper]]]]
'''''PaRappa the Rapper''''' is a video game about a rapping dog named PaRappa ("Parappatherapingdog" according to Chris) that has appeared on almost all [[Sony]] consoles. The original version, for the first PlayStation, was one of the first popular rhythm action games, played by tapping a set of buttons in sequence along with visual cues and music. The game is also known for its distinctive art style, in which the characters appear to be made of paper.

In [[2007]], Chris entered a contest called [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], put on by Sony to promote a new PaRappa game. Chris wanted to win in order to take [[Megan]] to Seattle and finally score with her. He [[fail]]ed because of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s accidental trolling and [[CWC is Angry|became very angry]].

Characters from the PaRappa games have not appeared in Chris's [[comic]] to date (although the beanie does,) but in [[2009]] Chris wore a PaRappa hat in rounds [[SingStar Challenge Round 2|2]] and [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|5]] of [[SingStar Challenge]], as well as a PaRappa shirt (saying "I gotta believe!") in the [[11042009 51 50|Over 50 Pounds]] video. The hat would appear in [[Sonichu 10]], when [[Sonichu]] himself dons it. It apparently causes the wearer to turn paper-thin upon donning it, and Sonichu says, "I gotta believe!" right before the performance of [[Revive Zordon]].

Chris's obsession with music games such as ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' can likely be attributed to PaRappa, as he mentioned it extensively in his [[PS3 History Level]].

==See also==
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
*''[[Little Big Planet]]
*[[Sony]]

==External links==
*[http://www.myspace.com/parappatherapingdog Myspace profile Chris created for Parappa.] - Note that he spelled "[[rape|raping]]" instead of "rapping".
*[[Wikipedia:PaRappa the Rapper|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Wikipedia article]]

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

User:Woohah Master

2010-07-13T21:08:04Z

Woohah Master:

Hi, I'm Woohah Master.

...yeah, that's about it.

Oh wait, some colorful boxes!

{{americunt}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{kitty}}
{{straight}}
{{JERK}}
{{Hex-Box}}
{{Warrior}}
{{White}}
{{Wii}}
{{Ham}}
{{VivianGee}}
{{Pedofork}}

And now for something completely different!

==My Personal Address To CWC, On How To Resurrect Any Chance He Has At Winning At Life==

First off, before we begin, let me note that you, Christian Weston Chandler, will probably never read this. Got it? Good. My handle is Woohah Master, I'm an overweight video game and anime fanatic, like you, except made of less fail. I actually have friends, male and female, earning a TRUE and HONEST Honors Diploma (I'm scheduled for two AP and two Honors for my core classes this year,) and I don't smell like a rotting aborted porcupine.

Now, onto the meat of the matter. Chris, if you want to see your life take a turn for the better, for the love of GodJesus, stop getting your advice from Rocky. She's armed with an ego that's only half as big as yours, and that's still a hell of a lot. She thinks she's always correct, even though she lacks any degrees or doctorates that confirm she has done any psychological study of the Autism Spectrum. You're likely better off talking to Rocky, the character played by Sylvester Stallone. Seriously though, go see a real psychiatrist, it will do you a world of good.

Next, go do a bit of clothes shopping. No, not from Goodwill or the Salvation Army. Get like two hundred bucks, and go to Wal-Mart or Kohl's. Seriously, a normal t-shirt is eight dollars at Wal-Mart. Your outfits are incredibly embarrassing, to say the least. One wise thing I recommend, keep that bra on. As long as you don't go flailing it about like a hooker during Mardi Gras, it's fine. Oh, and while you're there, get a plastic bin or something to keep them from absorbing the massive odor that emanates from your shithole of a house. More on that later though.

Moving on, TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER! I mean, I don't like showering either, but I still do it once a day. Go down to your local YMCA and do it, cause your house's shower looks like it would make you dirtier than you were before using it.

More to be written when I feel like it.

BILLY MAYS

2010-07-13T02:18:22Z

Woohah Master:

{{quote|NO VICTORY, NO DEFEAT. THE SURVIVOR WILL CARRY ON THE FIGHT. IT IS OUR DESTINY.|BILLY MAYS's final statement to the CWCki}}

[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|thumb|Now cracks a noble heart / goodnight sweet prince / and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|thumb|Chris desecrated the memory of BILLY MAYS by portraying him with Sonichu on his shirt.]]

'''BILLY MAYS''' (peace be upon him) was a [[TV]] advertising man turned [[Internet]] [[trolls|troll]], and a [[MGS|true patriot]]. Provided both epic [[lulz]] and wisdom in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#Sonichu]] and on [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] during his noble lifetime. He was infamous for his signature ALL CAPS style, and preached daily the Gospel of [[Wikipedia:OxiClean|OxiClean]] and the Big City Slider Station. On [[2009#March|03 March 2009]], Chris under duress by [[Max]], declared BILLY the third mayor of [[CWCville]]; however, his reign was tragically cut short.

In real life he was arch-enemies with [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-YXgFv2IN4 Chef Tony], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVHUAco_k-g Barry Scott], and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA Vince Shlomi].

==Mayoralty==
His first order of business was "ADULT PARTYING", and promised that everyone will go home [[Episode 18|somkey]]. He stated that "THE ROADS WILL POUR CHEAP BEER AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES", noting that the poor citizens of CWCville deserve a week of "DRUNKEN STUPOR". During his short reign as mayor, BILLY MAYS instated several groundbreaking reforms and was loved by all, with a record-breaking 99% approval rating. Sadly, CWCville's era of prosperity was quick to end after only a few months.

==Death==
On Sunday, 28 June 2009, BILLY MAYS was found dead in his mansion over in Tampa, Florida, where he resided after suffering several assassination attempts by various hitmen, allegedly under the employ of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. The true cause of his death is unknown, but his death was suspiciously close to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cash's]] apparent death on 22 May. His family has asked for privacy.

In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris claims he didn't kill BILLY, but rather that BILLY was a victim of a fatal heart attack. However, a skilled killer would make it ''look'' like it was a "heart attack". As paradoxical as it may seem that Chris succeeds at killing the beloved [[TRUE and HONEST]] mayor of CWCville BILLY MAYS despite [[fail|failing]] at everything else, it is reasonable to expect that one would have a heart attack if he were woken out of a sound sleep in the middle of the night by a fat [[autistic]] manchild who reeks of [[dirty, crapped briefs|feces]], screaming "I AM THE TRUE AND HONEST MAYOR OF CWCVILLE!" while completely nude.

In [[Sonichu 9]], BILLY MAYS [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_92 fails to free Ivy] when she is strangled by elevator wires. The slickness of the walls keeps him from climbing up them to save her. However, the walls of text and general bad writing led to some confusion and the belief that he also died in the comic.

In Chris's [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Character_Bios Biography Page] on the [[CWCipedia]], he lists BILLY MAYS as a "non-cannon" character, despite his appearance in central episodes of Chris's comics.

==Post death==
[[Image:BILLYMAYSPEAKS.jpg|thumb|left|BILLY's message from beyond]]

In his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, Chris laments the death of his "bodyguard" BILLY MAYS, and announces the near-completion of the [[Twin Falling Towers|Billy Mays Tower]] ''[sic]''. That a skyscraper could rise so quickly after BILLY MAYS's death is suspicious, and many CWCville residents believe Chris arranged the building of the tower as a way to launder [[money]] stolen from his parents' credit cards, and that the naming of the tower is nothing more than a publicity stunt to leech off of BILLY MAYS's popularity.

{{People}}

{{CWCipedia|chris=billy_mays}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Mays, Billy}}
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-07-13T00:25:02Z

Woohah Master:

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For all other uses please visit [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]''

{{Honest}}

[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Our hero, in his "derp" position.]]
[[Image:Lapse.gif|right]]
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), also known by his scientific name, ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' is a [[Chris and Rape|perverse]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|disgusting]], [[Chris and the law|quarrelsome]], [[Death threats|mean-spirited, spiteful,]] [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]], stubborn, "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "bear conductor." In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo," and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's alright Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and March [[2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're trying to be tough negotiators.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==
===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely it is to be true.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school." Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]].

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.]]
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

{{Quote|"It is certain, that even the most ignorant and stupid peasants, nay infants, nay even brute beasts, improve by experience.|David Hume, [[Love_quest|having never met Chris]].}}

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7]] unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and [[hair]]-brained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.
{{clear}}

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010}}

By late 2008 trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This appears to be connected to a reduction in his online presence, and the disappearance of his [[medallion]] and his [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]]. Of late Chris has become paranoid and has grown more suspicious of anyone online, imploring everyone to meet him in person if they ''really'' want to get to know him. Of course, Chris has [[List of Chris's Lies|a penchant for lying]], so talking to him in real life is as pointless as talking to him online. Also, his desire to avoid being fooled has not made him any better at doing it, and trolls can be assured that sooner or later he'll fall for some "girl" that asks him to [[BlueSpike|shove stuff up his ass]]. No matter how hard he tries to avoid the trolling, he will always inexplicably find someone to troll him.

Today Chris continues to live with his parents, living off the [[monthly tugboat|money]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. Since he has no job and is usually banned from any place he visits for more than thirty minutes, Chris has few social outlets and has grown increasingly withdrawn. In his desperate need for attention, he repeatedly returns to the trolls, unwittingly proving that the only people who will put up with him are those who just want him to do something stupid for them to laugh at.

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Part 3 of the series
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC a sad story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Happy Happy Joy Joy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9TFSOHOXHk4}}
| Stardate = 9 February 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/AnimuAnimalia AnimuAnimalia]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = My name is Christian Weston Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|__xCoK1B8Xo}}
| Stardate = 6 April 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/AnimuAnimalia AnimuAnimalia]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]], Chris's own CWCki account!
* [[Scrapbook of Fail]], a sampling of Chris's artistic masterworks
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.

==References==
<references />

==External links==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

*<s>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page The current official website]</s> '''DELETED'''

{{Template:Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

User:Woohah Master

2010-07-10T20:27:39Z

Woohah Master:

User:Woohah Master

2010-07-10T16:38:26Z

Woohah Master:

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-10T16:37:47Z

Woohah Master: /* Favorite Troll Userboxes? */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Robert I don't think really warrants his own box. He didn't do a whole lot. I'd like to get a box for Evan if we're doing one for Alec. So, the list so far is Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike, Liquid Chris, Alec, Man In The Pickle Suit, and Evan. Who would be up for making them? [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 14:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::: I'll make them! Do you think there should be userboxes for favorite saga too? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 21:54, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Okay, here's the boxes I've made so far:
*[[Template:ClydeCash|Clyde]]
*[[Template:JackThaddeus|Jack]]
*[[Template:VivianGee|Vivian]]
*[[Template:BlueSpike|BlueSpike]]
*[[Template:LiquidChris‎|Liquid]]

Sorry they're nothing special, feel free to edit them. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 22:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Needs some spicing up, i'll admit. Maybe some text relating to their trolling campaigns? Maybe something like "This user believes in the TRUE and HONEST Liquid Chris" or "This user is a Bluespike fan, and takes delight in Christian's pain" What do you guys think? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:02, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, sorry they're so bland. I'm a bit slow-in-the-mind so I can't think of anything witty for them. Those sound good to me!

Oh yeah, and I don't know what picture to use for Alec (there was a nice picture of Asperchu, but it's already used for the Asperpedia template), so I'll skip his box for now. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 00:26, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Might I suggest a picture from his appearance in Sonichu? Probably the best we could do other than maybe a different picture of Asperchu.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:41, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I added some shit. Feel free to edit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I made the boxes for [[Template:MPS|the Man in the Pickle Suit]] and [[Template:Evan|Evan]]. I was working on Alec's but [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] [[Template:AlecBensonLeary|beat me to it]]. Also I think some of them have that annoying white space problem though. Fuuu- --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 01:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

Way to go, Lime! The only one I would change is the Clyde one. I'm thinking "This user will not strangle dat Clyde Cash." [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 16:37, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah. Someone needs to deal with this guy. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 14:54, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Account list:
*IBAgeneva (banned)
*JerryMathers (banned)
*Goyslayer (banned)
*Juanbrujo (banned)
*Pfaggot (banned)
*Herpdederp (banned)
*Derpaherp (banned)
*Greatjollynegro (banned)
*Uhuru (banned)
*Meenween (banned)
*Mrjoo (banned)
*Lawltiger (banned)
*Pewbmonster (banned)
*Niggomalema (banned)
*Mrpillow (banned)
*Farklesparkle (banned)
*Jammastercoon (banned)
*Travislikesbeer (banned)
*CountCockula (banned)
*Lightsideblue (banned)
*BEEEEES (banned)
*Rapeanator (banned)
*Loldongs (banned)
*Thoumad (banned)
*Spocker (banned)
*Dramallama (banned)
TOTAL: 26
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 15:45, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Does he think its even funny? Its pathetic and retarded. Maybe the category page shoud just say this person is a faggot.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Whoever this guy is, it sounds like he's either butthurt or a newfag since he only makes the same edits over and over. He fails as a vandal. Seriously. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You just don't know how fun this is, buddy. Also, Office Space was ok. Wasn't that great of a movie. :/ --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:15, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::It's fine we can just drop your dox and we'll see if you still think it's fun then. You know Tor doesn't hide your actual IP when you use these sites, at least not when the right software's around.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::That smacks of some sort of desperation. First of all, I get the hint you are talking out your ass. Second, u mad? --[[User:Mrjoo|Mrjoo]] 19:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
* Actually no, whenever you use Scripts/Flash Tor won't hide your IP, and there are several commercial programs that can track based on that. Try to figure out how your parachute works before you use it Here's a hint: the boxes that enable flash and Java, leave them off. Of course you can't edit if they are off... -[[User:Kei|Kei]] 20:48, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You threaten me with dox and you only follow up with an explanation of how you could possibly find my IP address. You kind of fail at being an internet tough guy.--[[User:Pewbmonster|Pewbmonster]] 20:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::people are not acting like an inetrnet though guy, because your retarded fagottry is just annoying instead of infuriating. and dammit choose less retarded sockpuppets, because seriously "pewbmonster"? what are you? 13?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Cool story bro. I can't account for how old I am but I know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LU0Q6ONMQY Pfargtl9000] is a little kid. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:17, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I never threatened, I just said that it's going to happen: it's not just "possibly" find, you've left a big gap and anyone reaasonably skilled and with the software can exploit that. You aren't invisible and there's no reason to why the management wouldn't crank up the rapemachine if you keep trying to act like a big bad troll. You obviously don't know how to vandalize a site, try to know what you're doing before getting smug.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Hey you might want to shorten your post because I don't feel like reading all that. I mean if your full of hot air just say it. I just am not going to bother with your little screeds. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:30, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::: Here's the shorter version: Your dox will be posted. and PS: YOu called Pfargt a little kid, but that little kid has shown more maturity than you ever will. you're a lost case.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Sounds like an empty threat, brah. Your IP is (censored). It isn't that big of a deal, is it? --[[User:Loldongs|Loldongs]] 00:13, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Pfargtl9000&oldid=103044 Will there ever be an end to this?] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:41, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

that's funny, i don't remember giving j0haely or kei any mod priveleges. maybe they should fuck off --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Congratulations, this is the CWCki staff, a bunch of angsty thirteen year old boys. No wonder this site can't get it's shit together. Some stupid shit happens and all you can do when the mods are afk or just idle, which is most of the time, is have your userbase make empty, childish threats. Why should anyone take this shit seriously anymore? This is all one big joke. It's like this site is run by the New*Furry*Military. --[[User:Spocker|Spocker]] 15:33, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Enjoy your ban. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Enjoying every minute of it. --[[User:Dangerman|Dangerman]] 15:59, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Then why do you keep coming back? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
: I never mentioned i had mod priviledges. i just find this petty bullshit annoying.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

It's always good to see another /cwc/ guy on, keeping it interesting. I think everyone (well, save for cogs) is taking this dude a bit too seriously. He's just fucking around, not even really vandalizing. Chill, niggers. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:I love a good game of "Whack-A-Mole". Quite relaxing. Looks like I have a partner for the next few days. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't take it so seriously, but it's like having to put up with a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum. It's pretty obnoxious. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:41, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Would someone please tell me why IP banning him and preventing account creation is so hard to do? I've done that sort of stuff on the Asperpedia when banning random vandals, and from what I've seen it's as simple as clicking two boxes. So what's the problem here then? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I think this guy deserves his own article [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 19:04, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Furfags and furfag sympathizers on cwcki? Still? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]], we know you're a fucking faggot who defends furniggers, etc. Get skype, pm me your skype on irc (I'm Krapple_Guy), and we'll settle this there. Do it plz, dramawhore. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 19:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:No. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Also, does it look like you have the power to force furries off the CWCki? If so, when did you get that pow- oh wait, '''you never had that power.''' Seeing how you are applying Legi0n's rules to a completely different website that doesn't use those rules, you are just making yourself look like an ''ass''. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:25, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Really? Is that what this is about? Furfags? Come on guys. This subject is so old that it's rotting. If you really have that much of a problem with them, then troll them on Youtube. It's much easier, you'd get banned less often, and it'd save grief for both the Krapple trolls and the CWCki. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:It seems like the only thing we can't insult is /cwc/, and if we do it we're basically labeled as "niggers" and "furfags". So, [[wikipedia:BioShock|would you kindly]] fuck off? (message not directed towards Edward) [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:Umm no. We at Legi0n really don't give two shits if you insult /cwc/. Feel free to insult it all you want. Thats not the point (a point you are avoiding btw). Point is, Pfargtl9000, you've defended known furfags on cwcki at least twice. [[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|Ed]] the sonicfag furrfag and [[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]] the pokemon fetishist furfag.

{{quote|Hi. In case you ask, I am a furry, more precisely a Pokefur. I am quite pissed that Chris is digging my fandom into a bigger hole every day.|[[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]]}}

Need I say more? Now then P, get skype and we'll talk. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 20:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, I fucking already read that before you put it up in HUEG XBOX quotes. Thing is, I don't give two shits about what he is, unlike you. And one last thing; I'm not going into Skype. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:34, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Pfargtl9000's thing is that he loves to bitch and moan to the mods. He was continually trying to start drama on the cwcki because the idea of any form of fursecution makes his ass pucker. He also loves to raeg on this wiki through the use of rainbowtext and setting up his permaban template on the pages of new members that he perceives to be sock accounts with no proof whatsoever. It's rather funny that I'm able to get the cwcki staff to intimidate new users. --[[User:Dramallama|Dramallama]] 20:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

What do furries, or any of this, have to do with Christian Chandler? Im not even sure what we are trying to accomplish now...[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Absolutly nothihg. Pfargtl9000 is just causing a lot of drama because he's a faggot. I told him me & the guys from /cwc/ would be willing to settle things with him outside of cwcki (skype), but he refuses to listen and wants to use cwcki as his shield/personal army. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:It's accomplishing nothing; this is an open-and-shut case of vandalism and flame wars. We all know Cogs' policy; she doesn't care what you do as long as you don't bring faggotry to her site. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Agreed. Again, I told Pfargtl9000 that we'd be willing to settle all this via skype (and outside of cwcki), but he refuses. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::It is possible that he either doesent want skype or feels that it is too personal (voice, real name, ect.) If Pfargt thinks that the cwcki is his 'personal army' then there is probably something the cwckians could do to help if help is needed?[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Look here guiz, this is accomplishing nothing. We are all just arguing over internet politics right now, and we've gone WAY off topic. Pfargtl's faggotry is another issue altogether, as are furries and people's opinions of /cwc/. Right now, I just want a ceasefire in this fucking edit war so that we can go back to researching and documenting the life of a 28 year old fat man from Virginia, and preferably either one side or the other to shut up on the subject of whatever the fuck Pfargtl is doing now as well, preferrably whichever one it was that started all this bullshit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Game Place page vandalism ==

Some dickweed keeps editing the Game Place page to claim that someone's a sex offender. Can we ban him?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

*From the information posted, I'd say it's relevant. Why not leave it up? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 22:56, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**Did this guy ever interact with Chris? If the answer is no, then it's ''not'' relevant.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**:Trombonista is completely right. I don't know how many times it has to get pointed out, but the CWCki is. About. Chris. Nobody else. If the guy's record relates to Chris or whatever, then that is relevant. Otherwise, purge with fire. The CWCki is nobody's personal army. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***: Well why be so protective of a child molester? If someone plans to go that store or praise it as a result of the articles and confrontations between Snyder and Chris, why not let them know the facts about that store? The CWCki has tons of information regarding all the other institutions and establishments Chris has gone to. But I digress, this wiki isn't really meant to be taken seriously. After all, some of the articles like [[6_June_2010|this one]] are based on hearsay, conjecture, and a terrible misinterpretation of events. All of sudden, this all becomes srs bsns because the fact of a pedophile owning a store which children frequent is too much for you guys to handle. Take a chill pill. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 00:43, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Except that the article you pointed out relates to Chris and in a big way. It is relevant. Also, the 'owner' of the shop probably almost never actually visits the store, just managing it financially, so it really doesn't matter at all. It's irrelevant to begin with, and it certainly does not relate to Chris. For instance, officer [[Bagget]]. Are his exploits outside of Chris there? No, except one thing he did, showing he's been decorated for bravery while Chris demonizes him. Because, guess what, his other exploits '''don't relate to Chris'''. If you are serious about getting the word out, go to ED. They'd love that. We don't care. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:00, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Sounds pretty defensive in response to a small fact. Why not just let it be up there as opposed to creating a massive drama the size of Chris's asshole? Besides, why would anyone take this site seriously? The staff here is pretty laughable as they overreact to small shit and threaten to dox people. It's kinda cute in a way. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Judging by the number of accounts you've created and the number of vandalism attempts you made, I'd say you take this site far more seriously than any of us.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You don't realize how fun this is. I guess to each his own. Try not to get so worked up over unimportant shit and get so defensive, you'll live longer. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm kind of new here so I don't know for sure, but would it be possible to protect the page? I'm sure if something needed adding to the article one of the admins could put it in. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 01:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Lime|Lime]] suggested that on the talk page. I agree; we definitely need to lock the Game Place page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*** I support establishing a lock. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**** Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:56, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***** Lock that shit down.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
****** Plug that bitch with a maximum security vault door. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 06:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******* Don't forget the cement--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******** And the police tape. ''Can't'' forget the police tape. --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16 likes Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's]] 04:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC) 04:04, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::*One step ahead of all ya'alls. Page is locked for a month, hopefully things will get settled by then. Damn, wish I thought of it sooner. Kudos to Lime for suggesting it to me, I usually don't like protecting pages but this is one of those instances where it's warranted.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:54, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== CWC Sighting ==

I don't care about being a name fag or being a field agent. I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.

I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook her head. She then turned and went on her way.

At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy. (sorry, accidentally originally posted this on an archive page) [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*[http://www.pcworld.com/article/166121/the_dsi_gets_a_zoom_lens.html The DSi does come with a zoom lens], apparently. Could this be the same contraption he used to take photos at the GAMe PLACe? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:03, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Has Chris truly realized that Sonichu is creatively and financially worthless? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Given his arrogance, probably not. He must figure that wearing the medallion must make him stick out like a sore thumb in public, and attract trolls. All changes are just from his very gradual realization that he'll have to make some cosmetic changes to attract the all elusive boyfriend-free girl. Chris is a lazy fuck, that's why he's not making comics, besides him disliking people pressuring him to actual do something, aswell as realizing his fandom is mainly nonexistent. He'll continue doing shit involving his 100% original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon though, mainly because he gets pleasure from the power of absolute control over something. Chris's life is boring, so very boring. He can't play vidya forever. He will be back to Sonichu, and he will continue thinking it is a relevant and worthy piece of art. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 02:36, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Woah, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. I'd really, really like to believe this. The thought of chris throwing a note with "Want to fuck? Y/N" (or something similiar) is hilarious, and I'm not trying to call Danny a liar. But with any sort of proof... It's a bit hard to take on face value. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 14:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: Wait, he's throwing rocks with messages attached to them to try to pick up women? It wouldn't surprise me, but I need more proof of this. This could be a bold new step in Chris's attraction sign usage (one that could actually injure someone). Are there any family photo albums of Mcintire park on July 4th? maybe we could find a picture of him in the crowd --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:12, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: The rock throwing seems to be an improvised paper-heart-on-a-string. Still not working though. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 20:32, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::Am I cursed to see Chris everywhere now, shit. If anyone else noticed, he has some sort of paper sitting in between his legs... [http://i29.tinypic.com/esm0zk.png Picture1] [http://i28.tinypic.com/dndif9.png Picture2] [[User:Danny|Danny]] 23:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

::::::Thanks Danny. So she picked up the rock and looked at him, he shook his head (guessing it was a "yep, lets fuck" nod, and she just kept going? --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Sorry, that was a typo. SHE shook her head at him. Thanks for pointing that out so I could fix it. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 00:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Wait a minute... does he have multiple pokewalkers? Where did those come from? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:18, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::::Heart Gold and Soul Silver each come with one, right? He probably bought both versions so he could trade with himself.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:27, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::But you also can see the Sonichu Pokewalker--meaning he bought a third copy as well.
::::::::::Well, we now know what he might have replaced the Sonichu medallion with. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:39, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::::...so he has two copies of one of the games? It's either that or he bought a used one from [[GameStop]]... god ''damn'', Chris.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:14, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Interesting. Chris seems to be getting a fair bit fatter judging by the rolls of fat in that first pic. He's like a land whale now. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:17, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::* Holy SHIT look at how skinny his legs are in that first picture. Compare them to the woman on his right, then the fat guy on his left. It's a wonder he can even walk around. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:53, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* I'm pretty sure that's just a result of his pant cuffs being pulled tight. In picture 2, you can see he's wearing extremely baggy pants, so if he moved his legs parts, the fabric would tighten around them, giving the illusion that their very skinny. If Chris's legs were really that skinny, they would have snapped under the weight of his massive girth --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 03:21, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*I don't know, his arms are pretty damn skinny, too. Which is amazing considering how fat he is. He has literally no triceps. I also wonder how long it'll be until he gets arrested by the jerkops for soliciting an underage girl. --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 04:06, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*As far as I can remember, Chris make a constant effort to include the "18-XX" comment on every attraction sign he made so far. So, no underage girls for him. Soliciting, on the other side, might be used against him the second anyone in the "Friday After Five" will wish to remove him from the area. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*I think this has more to do with bone structure. He was skinny back in high school. Once he went off to college, he stopped having balanced meals and started eating junk food three times a day. His fat congeals around his torso, but his limbs remained the same. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*He didn't go off to college, he still lived at home while at PVCC. His age caught up to his metabolism and he seems to have gotten lazier. -[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 04:42, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*fyi, I think his legs appear skinny in that picture because our view of them is being cut off by the wall. -[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 05:11, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* Compare the two pictures. The dirt leading up to the wall goes on pretty flat, there doesn't seem to be much of a drop. I understand he has baggy pants on, but even considering the fat's probably squished up, he must have almost zero muscle there. It must be little more than bone and the bare muscle needed to stand. In the second picture compare his forearm to his lower leg. That... That's just insanely unhealthy. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 07:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

File talk:Chris-Chan Orgy.png

2010-07-09T04:18:14Z

2010-06-19T09:46:26Z

Woohah Master: Created page with 'Hi, I'm Woohah Master. ...yeah, that's about it.'

Hi, I'm Woohah Master.

...yeah, that's about it.