CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement.

2016-01-10T09:59:10Z

Yolo Ohno: /* Video Deleted */

I actually responded to this. If he responds I shall post it. -Ebolakitten 01/06/16
::Take it to the forum, chief. This isn't the place. [[User:Dude|Dude]] ([[User talk:Dude|talk]]) 02:09, 8 January 2016 (UTC)

==Video Deleted==

Do we have a mirror or backup copy of this video anywhere? -[[User:GhostofKittyChandler|GhostofKittyChandler]] ([[User talk:GhostofKittyChandler|talk]]) 09:26, 10 January 2016 (UTC)

Gah. This would have been one to save, hive mind. [[User:Yolo Ohno|Yolo Ohno]] ([[User talk:Yolo Ohno|talk]]) 09:59, 10 January 2016 (UTC)

$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-10T09:51:10Z

Yolo Ohno:

'''$50 for a video holiday greeting!''' is a video released 22 December 2015 in which Chris, standing next to his Christmas tree, offers personalized holiday video messages to people who donate $50 to him before 24 December 2015. He lets us preview a cringe-worthy video message to one Jane Doe. Nobody ever took him up on his offer.

Chris addresses those who have purchased Sonichu Amiibo figurines. Then, for no reason at all, Chris butchers yet another Christmas song, ''Sleigh Ride''. It is apparent that Chris only knows one line of the song. Chris repeatedly references the [[Lovely Weather|Lovely Weather]], who, lest we forget, is Chris' future wife from [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]. As if we hadn't had enough, he treats us to a half-assed rendition of a CollegeHumor parody posted earlier that week that criticizes Donald Trump's presidential campaign.

It comes as a shock that Christine Weston Chandler is not a fervent supporter of talking comb-over Donald J. Trump--even though he is the first member of CWCville to not only escape from the CWCville Internment Camp but to also run for presidential office. This almost certainly has nothing to do with her political beliefs (which are focused on the discovery of unicorn china with help from noted archeologist Lady Elaine Fairchilde and her servant, companion, and sex slave The American Bunny) but rather her interpretation of the shadows on the wall--the imagined culturally advantageous position one would receive if the world consisted entirely of cartoon characters.

Surprisingly, her camera controller actually works this time.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = $50 for a video holiday greeting!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YmgS8Q2ymeo}}
| stardate = 22 [[December 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = [[Christmas]], {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Plain red
| previous = [[Jungle bells]]
| next = [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Hello, once again! Merry Christmas and all that rot. So we're bored tonight at my home again and yeah. I, uh, that's a little Christmas tree. And we- my mom and I, we decorated it recently. So that's delightful. Hm. Anyway, I'm making this video to inform everyone that up until the end of December 24th, uh, with the $50 donation, I'll do a vid- I'll do a video request and shout-out holiday greeting to an- to anybody y'all might request. So, it's like, you know, here's a free samp- so here's a sample.

''[singsong voice]'' "Hello Jane Doe! Whatcha know! We're gonna have a holiday show! Thanks for comin' around on the tree TOP ''[pause]'' tonight. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

''[pause]'' So it's as simple as that. And uh- and also, ''[sigh]'' this is gonna be an– I just shipped out all these Sonichu figures... I had to make them in the rush, but the- but hopefully they'll get to y'all on Thursday or if not, then Saturday. So definitely go by the post office Saturday morning if you don't get them on Thursday.

And, uh... also, another thing I had on my mind– okay, well, yeah you can put- you can- umm, in lack of having com- having completed some versions of the lyr- the song lyrics that I parodied with, so. It's like you could do this–

''[starts singing a tune that vaguely resembles Sleigh Ride]'' Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with lovely weather. ''[pause]'' So make it put that on the track and make it think I'm singing. That one little line where it's all lovely weather...

Although, I did enjoy from CollegeHumor recently, ''[to the tune of You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch]'' You're a mean one, Mr. Trump. You really are a take a dump. Nobody likes you regardless of all that money Mr. Trump! Between the choice of- given the choice between the three of you– the Trump, the Grinch, and the seasick crocodile, I'd still sick with the seasick crocodile. Yeah, sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.

So anyway, yeah, $50 donation will get you a holiday greeting video that I'll upload and... your choice, either I can have it publicly live or leave it unlisted and either way I'll send you the link through the message. Thank you, have a good day.

''[shuts camera off]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Jungle bells]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]|}}

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-10T09:50:54Z

Yolo Ohno:

'''$50 for a video holiday greeting!''' is a video released 22 December 2015 in which Chris, standing next to his Christmas tree, offers personalized holiday video messages to people who donate $50 to him before 24 December 2015. He lets us preview a cringe-worthy video message to one Jane Doe. Nobody ever took him up on his offer.

Chris addresses those who have purchased Sonichu Amiibo figurines. Then, for no reason at all, Chris butchers yet another Christmas song, ''Sleigh Ride''. It is apparent that Chris only knows one line of the song. Chris repeatedly references the [[Lovely Weather|Lovely Weather]], who, lest we forget, is Chris' future wife from [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]. As if we hadn't had enough, he treats us to a half-assed rendition of a CollegeHumor parody posted earlier that week that criticizes Donald Trump's presidential campaign.

It comes as a shock that Christine Weston Chandler is not a fervent supporter of talking comb-over Donald J. Trump--even though he is the first member of CWCville to not only escape from the CWCville Internment Camp but to also run for presidential office. This almost certainly has nothing to do with her political beliefs (which are focused on the discovery of unicorn china with help from noted archeologist Lady Elaine Fairchilde and her servant, companion and sex slave The American Bunny) but rather her interpretation of the shadows on the wall--the imagined culturally advantageous position one would receive if the world consisted entirely of cartoon characters.

Surprisingly, her camera controller actually works this time.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = $50 for a video holiday greeting!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YmgS8Q2ymeo}}
| stardate = 22 [[December 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = [[Christmas]], {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Plain red
| previous = [[Jungle bells]]
| next = [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Hello, once again! Merry Christmas and all that rot. So we're bored tonight at my home again and yeah. I, uh, that's a little Christmas tree. And we- my mom and I, we decorated it recently. So that's delightful. Hm. Anyway, I'm making this video to inform everyone that up until the end of December 24th, uh, with the $50 donation, I'll do a vid- I'll do a video request and shout-out holiday greeting to an- to anybody y'all might request. So, it's like, you know, here's a free samp- so here's a sample.

''[singsong voice]'' "Hello Jane Doe! Whatcha know! We're gonna have a holiday show! Thanks for comin' around on the tree TOP ''[pause]'' tonight. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

''[pause]'' So it's as simple as that. And uh- and also, ''[sigh]'' this is gonna be an– I just shipped out all these Sonichu figures... I had to make them in the rush, but the- but hopefully they'll get to y'all on Thursday or if not, then Saturday. So definitely go by the post office Saturday morning if you don't get them on Thursday.

And, uh... also, another thing I had on my mind– okay, well, yeah you can put- you can- umm, in lack of having com- having completed some versions of the lyr- the song lyrics that I parodied with, so. It's like you could do this–

''[starts singing a tune that vaguely resembles Sleigh Ride]'' Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with lovely weather. ''[pause]'' So make it put that on the track and make it think I'm singing. That one little line where it's all lovely weather...

Although, I did enjoy from CollegeHumor recently, ''[to the tune of You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch]'' You're a mean one, Mr. Trump. You really are a take a dump. Nobody likes you regardless of all that money Mr. Trump! Between the choice of- given the choice between the three of you– the Trump, the Grinch, and the seasick crocodile, I'd still sick with the seasick crocodile. Yeah, sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.

So anyway, yeah, $50 donation will get you a holiday greeting video that I'll upload and... your choice, either I can have it publicly live or leave it unlisted and either way I'll send you the link through the message. Thank you, have a good day.

''[shuts camera off]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Jungle bells]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]|}}

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-10T09:44:37Z

Yolo Ohno:

'''$50 for a video holiday greeting!''' is a video released 22 December 2015 in which Chris, standing next to his Christmas tree, offers personalized holiday video messages to people who donate $50 to him before 24 December 2015. He lets us preview a cringe-worthy video message to one Jane Doe. Nobody ever took him up on his offer.

Chris addresses those who have purchased Sonichu Amiibo figurines. Then, for no reason at all, Chris butchers yet another Christmas song, ''Sleigh Ride''. It is apparent that Chris only knows one line of the song. Chris repeatedly references the [[Lovely Weather|Lovely Weather]], who, lest we forget, is Chris' future wife from [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]. As if we hadn't had enough, he treats us to a half-assed rendition of a CollegeHumor parody posted earlier that week that criticizes Donald Trump's presidential campaign.

It comes as a shock that Christine Weston Chandler is not a fervent supporter of talking comb-over Donald J. Trump--even though he is the first member of CWCville to not only escape from the CWCville Internment Camp but to also run for presidential office. This almost certainly has nothing to do with her political beliefs (which are focused on the discovery of unicorn china with help from noted archeologist Lady Elaine Fairchilde) but rather her interpretation of the shadows on the wall--the imagined culturally advantageous position one would receive if the world consisted entirely of cartoon characters.

Surprisingly, her camera controller actually works this time.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = $50 for a video holiday greeting!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YmgS8Q2ymeo}}
| stardate = 22 [[December 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = [[Christmas]], {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Plain red
| previous = [[Jungle bells]]
| next = [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Hello, once again! Merry Christmas and all that rot. So we're bored tonight at my home again and yeah. I, uh, that's a little Christmas tree. And we- my mom and I, we decorated it recently. So that's delightful. Hm. Anyway, I'm making this video to inform everyone that up until the end of December 24th, uh, with the $50 donation, I'll do a vid- I'll do a video request and shout-out holiday greeting to an- to anybody y'all might request. So, it's like, you know, here's a free samp- so here's a sample.

''[singsong voice]'' "Hello Jane Doe! Whatcha know! We're gonna have a holiday show! Thanks for comin' around on the tree TOP ''[pause]'' tonight. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

''[pause]'' So it's as simple as that. And uh- and also, ''[sigh]'' this is gonna be an– I just shipped out all these Sonichu figures... I had to make them in the rush, but the- but hopefully they'll get to y'all on Thursday or if not, then Saturday. So definitely go by the post office Saturday morning if you don't get them on Thursday.

And, uh... also, another thing I had on my mind– okay, well, yeah you can put- you can- umm, in lack of having com- having completed some versions of the lyr- the song lyrics that I parodied with, so. It's like you could do this–

''[starts singing a tune that vaguely resembles Sleigh Ride]'' Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with lovely weather. ''[pause]'' So make it put that on the track and make it think I'm singing. That one little line where it's all lovely weather...

Although, I did enjoy from CollegeHumor recently, ''[to the tune of You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch]'' You're a mean one, Mr. Trump. You really are a take a dump. Nobody likes you regardless of all that money Mr. Trump! Between the choice of- given the choice between the three of you– the Trump, the Grinch, and the seasick crocodile, I'd still sick with the seasick crocodile. Yeah, sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.

So anyway, yeah, $50 donation will get you a holiday greeting video that I'll upload and... your choice, either I can have it publicly live or leave it unlisted and either way I'll send you the link through the message. Thank you, have a good day.

''[shuts camera off]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Jungle bells]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]|}}

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-10T09:38:51Z

Yolo Ohno: fix of bad graf

'''$50 for a video holiday greeting!''' is a video released 22 December 2015 in which Chris, standing next to his Christmas tree, offers personalized holiday video messages to people who donate $50 to him before 24 December 2015. He lets us preview a cringe-worthy video message to one Jane Doe. Nobody ever took him up on his offer.

Chris addresses those who have purchased Sonichu Amiibo figurines. Then, for no reason at all, Chris butchers yet another Christmas song, ''Sleigh Ride''. It is apparent that Chris only knows one line of the song. Chris repeatedly references the [[Lovely Weather|Lovely Weather]], who, lest we forget, is Chris' future wife from [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]. As if we hadn't had enough, he treats us to a half-assed rendition of a CollegeHumor parody posted earlier that week that criticizes Donald Trump's presidential campaign.

It comes as a shock that Christine Weston Chandler is not a fervent supporter of talking comb-over Donald J. Trump--even though he is the first member of CWCville to not only escape from the CWCville Internment Camp but to also run for presidential office. This almost certainly has nothing to do with her political beliefs (which are focused on the discovery of unicorn china with help from Lady Elaine Fairchilde) but rather her interpretation of the shadows on the wall--the imagined culturally advantageous position one would receive if the world consisted entirely of cartoon characters.

Surprisingly, her camera controller actually works this time.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = $50 for a video holiday greeting!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YmgS8Q2ymeo}}
| stardate = 22 [[December 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = [[Christmas]], {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Plain red
| previous = [[Jungle bells]]
| next = [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Hello, once again! Merry Christmas and all that rot. So we're bored tonight at my home again and yeah. I, uh, that's a little Christmas tree. And we- my mom and I, we decorated it recently. So that's delightful. Hm. Anyway, I'm making this video to inform everyone that up until the end of December 24th, uh, with the $50 donation, I'll do a vid- I'll do a video request and shout-out holiday greeting to an- to anybody y'all might request. So, it's like, you know, here's a free samp- so here's a sample.

''[singsong voice]'' "Hello Jane Doe! Whatcha know! We're gonna have a holiday show! Thanks for comin' around on the tree TOP ''[pause]'' tonight. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

''[pause]'' So it's as simple as that. And uh- and also, ''[sigh]'' this is gonna be an– I just shipped out all these Sonichu figures... I had to make them in the rush, but the- but hopefully they'll get to y'all on Thursday or if not, then Saturday. So definitely go by the post office Saturday morning if you don't get them on Thursday.

And, uh... also, another thing I had on my mind– okay, well, yeah you can put- you can- umm, in lack of having com- having completed some versions of the lyr- the song lyrics that I parodied with, so. It's like you could do this–

''[starts singing a tune that vaguely resembles Sleigh Ride]'' Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with lovely weather. ''[pause]'' So make it put that on the track and make it think I'm singing. That one little line where it's all lovely weather...

Although, I did enjoy from CollegeHumor recently, ''[to the tune of You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch]'' You're a mean one, Mr. Trump. You really are a take a dump. Nobody likes you regardless of all that money Mr. Trump! Between the choice of- given the choice between the three of you– the Trump, the Grinch, and the seasick crocodile, I'd still sick with the seasick crocodile. Yeah, sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.

So anyway, yeah, $50 donation will get you a holiday greeting video that I'll upload and... your choice, either I can have it publicly live or leave it unlisted and either way I'll send you the link through the message. Thank you, have a good day.

''[shuts camera off]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Jungle bells]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]|}}

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-10T08:59:37Z

Yolo Ohno:

Please, please do not shoehorn political opinions into this article. Trump is a polarizing figure, but let's stay neutral. I already removed one such liberal-friendly line. --[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] ([[User talk:DawnDusk|talk]]) 00:07, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

It seems like you are injecting your political opinions in the article: "liberal-friendly line"? Donald Trump? Short-fingered vulgarian Donald J. Trump is the CWC of political candidates--neither conservative nor liberal, neither republican nor democrat: he is the candidate of morons. The fact that even CWC is not stupid enough to vote for him is a small needle of hope in the haystack of despair. Getting your panties in a twist about the honesty of a mention of Donald J. Trump's absurdity--in fact, skipping any opportunity to disparage the human troll doll is Political Correctness gone completely out of control, and does not belong on the CWCWiki. [[User:Yolo Ohno|Yolo Ohno]] ([[User talk:Yolo Ohno|talk]]) 09:26, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

How the fuck is that 'political correctness'? --[[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 20:34, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

Political Correctness means what it means: The avoidance of words or discussion out of respect for the feelings of other people; not what you believe it means. In this case, information about CWC regarding Trump was censured because someone mistakenly believed it would hurt the feelings of conservatives. What we have here is nothing more than a SJW for the Right. And politics should not be involved in editing the CWCki [[User:Yolo Ohno|Yolo Ohno]] ([[User talk:Yolo Ohno|talk]]) 21:53, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

I don't agree with DawnDusk, but you're just using buzzwords. You don't like him, I get it, but don't go blaming the 'sjw tumblr boogeyman'. If it bothers you that much, just undo his change and leave it at that. --[[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 23:14, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

Ugh. You are being far too reasonable and insufficiently tongue in cheek. Honestly, I adore DuskDawn. It was a bad paragraph, and it should have either been fixed or deleted. But it really is a bad precedent to start deleting things because they are "liberal-friendly" or "conservative-friendly". I'll try to fix the original so that it better reflects the glory of the second comeuppance of the holy pilgrimage to cathay. [[User:Yolo Ohno|Yolo Ohno]] ([[User talk:Yolo Ohno|talk]]) 08:56, 10 January 2016 (UTC)

Talk:$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-10T08:57:56Z

Yolo Ohno:

Please, please do not shoehorn political opinions into this article. Trump is a polarizing figure, but let's stay neutral. I already removed one such liberal-friendly line. --[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] ([[User talk:DawnDusk|talk]]) 00:07, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

It seems like you are injecting your political opinions in the article: "liberal-friendly line"? Donald Trump? Short-fingered vulgarian Donald J. Trump is the CWC of political candidates--neither conservative nor liberal, neither republican nor democrat: he is the candidate of morons. The fact that even CWC is not stupid enough to vote for him is a small needle of hope in the haystack of despair. Getting your panties in a twist about the honesty of a mention of Donald J. Trump's absurdity--in fact, skipping any opportunity to disparage the human troll doll is Political Correctness gone completely out of control, and does not belong on the CWCWiki. [[User:Yolo Ohno|Yolo Ohno]] ([[User talk:Yolo Ohno|talk]]) 09:26, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

How the fuck is that 'political correctness'? --[[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 20:34, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

Political Correctness means what it means: The avoidance of words or discussion out of respect for the feelings of other people; not what you believe it means. In this case, information about CWC regarding Trump was censured because someone mistakenly believed it would hurt the feelings of conservatives. What we have here is nothing more than a SJW for the Right. And politics should not be involved in editing the CWCki [[User:Yolo Ohno|Yolo Ohno]] ([[User talk:Yolo Ohno|talk]]) 21:53, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

I don't agree with DawnDusk, but you're just using buzzwords. You don't like him, I get it, but don't go blaming the 'sjw tumblr boogeyman'. If it bothers you that much, just undo his change and leave it at that. --[[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 23:14, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

Ugh. You are being far too reasonable and insufficiently tongue in cheek. Honestly, I adore DuskDawn. It was a bad paragraph, and it should have either been fixed or deleted. But it really is a bad precedent to start deleting things because they are "liberal-friendly" or "conservative-friendly". I'll try to fix the original so that it better reflects the glory of the second comeuppance of the holy pilgrimage to canton. [[User:Yolo Ohno|Yolo Ohno]] ([[User talk:Yolo Ohno|talk]]) 08:56, 10 January 2016 (UTC)

CWC's Second Message

2016-01-09T22:10:43Z

Yolo Ohno: Fix youtube link

{{Quote|Citizens of the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.|And so it begins...}}

'''CWC's Second Message''' (a.k.a. '''Madman Rising''') is the [[video]] that introduced [[Chris]] to the world of [[the internet]]. It was posted to [[YouTube]] on 3 [[August 2008]].

After months of trying to either ignore or edit his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Chris [[Chris and anger|explodes with fury]]. He blames ED for causing his fallout with [[Megan Schroeder]], although anyone with a brain could tell that it was his fault for drawing [[She Came for CWC|pornography involving her]] and sharing it to the world. Chris also begins threatening to withhold the release of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and all further comics unless the ED page is removed. Naturally, [[trolls]] were terrified that they would never see the conclusion to the absorbing story that Chris had created, and rushed to meet his demands.

This is a beloved classic in the CWChronology, and it was in this video that Chris unintentionally coined the term "[[pedofork]]".

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC's Second Message
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kPQlpGFWNgE}}
| stardate = 3 [[August 2008]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Comics|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}
| saga = {{ED|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]
| next = [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]
}}

===Transcript===
''Citizens of the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.

[[Chris and his ego|Y'all should know me by now]], but, if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, ''the'' original creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], back on March 17th, [[2000]]. Any dates earlier are void. I present this open message because...I have a whole bunch of people on the Internet [''removes [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] dramatically''] give me hate...show me a lot of hate...and I do not appreciate it. Ticks me off.

You think you can just...hate me just to get a laugh out of yourself. Think about it. [[Twin Falling Towers|You're laughing at somebody else's pain and torture]], because I am lonesome, still trying to find a [[boyfriend-free girl]] and to make into a [[sweetheart]]. Y'all think I'm just a sap, a chump, dumbass, whatever you may think. But you know what? You. ''You!'' Every last one of you, who has shixpressed hate against me? ''You're'' the shitheads!

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris at age 70, if his cholesterol would allow him to live that long]]

Also, every last one of you who thinks that I am similar to that...of that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''...''you're'' the pedophiles. Every one of you who thinks I'm [[homo]] and calls me that—-because I am not; I'm ''straight''! I'm '''''straight!''''' ''You’re'' the homos! Every last one of you!

I could--I could take the whole time to express so much ''anger'' and frustration. I'm only nearsighted; I do wear glasses. [''replaces glasses on face''] Take it or leave it, losers! [''removes glasses dramatically, again''] It m--it helps me see better...see more detail...and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together...out of your own ego that you so richly...[''begins awkwardly tapping PS3 controller''] consume of.

But...on a more serious note: learning recently of the false--or real--literature, with downloaded...''copies'' of my comic pages and whatnot. It has been either distributed or created ''without'' my consent or approval. So...it ''is'' a fake...and if it ever is published, or if it ever shows profit, let it weigh on your consciousness throughout your eternal life...that you are torturing and--worse off--tearing the heart, and soul, and emotions of the innocent man. The out--the innocent--still 26-year-old [''slams arms down on chair’s arms''] ''virgin''. Not only that, but I have so many lonely nights and stress...that you can not just imagine it!

Now, as for the other serious note: of any new stuff officially made by me, under my own...hands...''not'' by anybody else's, which are considered ''false''. I just have not been feeling the inspiration to draw! To color! Because the loneliness...I cannot stand that. The hatred I'm getting from every last one of you who has contributed to that Encyclopedia Dramatica webpage...and every other forum, internet document, lewdly-drawn pictures with...''dicks''. ''I love dykes'' ''DYKES!'' '''''[[CHINA]]!''''' [''jump cut''] I'm ''straight!'' If I ever--if I see a dick, I just look away, with a moment of being freaked out! [''makes arm gesture for “safe!”'']

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|left|"She has come for me"]]

''And'' e-mailing me pictures is not gonna get any of you any further conclusion to "Will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] get out of [[Dark Mirror Hole|the mirror]]?", "Will the 7 [[Sonichu Balls]] be collected?", "Will I ''ever'' find my [[sweetheart]]?" ''And'' am I--am I or [[Megan Schroeder]] still an item--" which by the way, she broke up with me so much long ti--so much long ago because...the contributors to that ED page...you broke the emotional stre--strength between us. You promoted such twists and turns to everything I have said [''begins tapping PS3 controller against his hand to count the offenses''] and drawn and written and ''whatnot''...you broke up the best friendship, the best relationship, the ''closest'' I could ever have in this ''pitiful adult life!'' ''You'' did it! Every last one of you! If I could blame myself, I would definitely blame myself for drawing [[Rule 34|those ''5'' pictures]]! Those 5 drawings! And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; [''covers eyes with one hand momentarily''] that is ''Megan!'' And just for--and just for--for...taking it up,and--twisting it around and such!

Think about it. ''Think about it!'' Weigh it on your conscience! Because nothing--no more official Sonichu...art or work may...or may not...ever emerge...depending...on the amount of hate that is decreased! That web page: ''taken off the Internet''! I wish I'd never found that piece of ''SHIT''...in the first place, back on that [[Halloween]] of [[2007|’07]], somewhere around there. And promoting the hatred, and...drawing such loose--such ''lucrid'' mockeries...is ''not'' gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way...as I am telling you this, right into my [[PlayStation Eye]]!

[''sighs deeply''] If I ever do find the one that is to be my sweetheart, I will...give her such care, such tenderness, such love...we get around to the [[hanky-panky]], that's fine, that's good...we get married. I will have my God--create--my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]! She will be taken care of...lovingly. Those of you mock me otherwise, with such ''frivolous, lucrid adultery''...if I ever hear another--any more new stuff, it will weigh on your conscience, with me ''tearing at your souls''...emotionally! Let ''that'' weigh on your conscience, for those of you who have already done so or are thinking about doing it!

I am not a [[pedofork]], you '''DORKS!'''

[[Image:Chris chan by B Comes B-459.png|thumb|Mmmm China]]

[''sighs''] I tell ya...so much anger, so much stress...it's hard to see straight. Let that, the result of all that you have contributed against me, weigh heavily like a 10,000-pound anvil! "[[wikipedia:Sixteen Tons|Sixteen tons]], whadd'ya get? Another day older and deeper in debt!" [''pronounces the b in "debt"'']

[[Chris and religion|If I was not a baptized man]] over at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]] by the [[University of Virginia]], I'd tell every last one of you that contributed to the hatred and downpour, "Go to hell." But I can--but I would not even weigh that upon my worst enemy, because that--because [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|I am]] [[26 December 2014|more]] [[28 October 2011|kind]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|than]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|ya]] [[Death threats|think]]. Y'all just do not see that; y'all just twist my words around. [''clears throat''] I do not wish to see any more hatrey, or adult mockery, and I want that Encyclopedia Dramatica page taken down for''ev''er. It will weigh heavily on your conscience each day that it is ''still'' up there.

[''replaces glasses on face''] I leave you with any other thoughts that you ''may'' have. But if you ''dare'' twist ''these'' words around, that will weigh ''worse'' on your conscience. The words that ''I'' provide...from sound mind and ''heart''...it will weigh heavily on you.

[[Obesity|It will weigh ''heavily'' on you.]] {{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Creator of the Internet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hxN_TCywHPg}}
| stardate = 15 [[September 2008]]
| maker = Jawsusfreak777
| subject =
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Second Message
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kPQlpGFWNgE}}
| stardate = 13 November 2009
| maker = Sumguy21
| type = Remastered version of original video
}}

==See also==
*[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]|nextlink=[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2008| 03]]
[[Category:ED Saga videos| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2008-08-03]]

Talk:$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-09T21:53:17Z

Yolo Ohno:

Talk:$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-09T21:52:56Z

Yolo Ohno:

Talk:$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-09T09:28:04Z

Yolo Ohno:

Talk:$50 for a video holiday greeting!

2016-01-09T09:27:10Z

Yolo Ohno:

Noviophobia

2016-01-02T04:06:04Z

Yolo Ohno:

[[File:Nintendochris.JPG|thumb|Chris explains his "phobia". Note the text box in the screenshot.]]
[[File:142-QuizGirlfriend.jpg|thumb|"I'm sure she is already paired up with some [[jerk]]."]]
'''Noviophobia''' is a word [[Chris]] created that he describes as his general fear of girls being paired up. While normal people would suggest that this is a form of social anxiety or that Chris is just [[Wikipedia:Love shyness|love shy]], Chris of course felt the need to coin his own term for it.

Chris's noviophobia manifested itself during the first months of his [[Love Quest]], and came to be because the girls he asked would often turn him down on the grounds that they "already had a boyfriend," due to the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. This eventually led to Chris's obsession with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. In a moment of typical [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]], Chris decided his envy and resentment of men with girlfriends was a legitimate phobia, and so formed the word noviophobia by using the [[Spanish]] word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English term ''phobia'', derived from the Greek word ''φόβος'' (phóbos), meaning fear. Chris uses this word often and simply assumes others will understand what it is without any explanation.

Noviophobia as a name has several problems. First and foremost, Chris uses it to describe jealous feelings towards men in relationships - something which in no way resembles a phobia, which is an ''irrational'' fear or hatred. It also simply refers to boyfriends in abstraction, which isn't an accurate summation of Chris's issue with women who are in relationships. Finally, the word itself is a linguistic abomination; the prefixes for ''-phobia'' should be Greek in origin unless the word does not exist in Greek and cannot be Hellenicised - unsurprisingly, a word for boyfriend does exist in Greek;''αγόρι'', "agori" in the Latin alphabet. Chris's illegitimate phobia would thus technically be considered ''agoriphobia'', although as addressed he possesses no actual phobia at all.

The word has been alternatively spelt as "noiophobia", as it appears in Christian's letter to ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' about how ''[[Sprung]]'' has helped this condition. Chris later explained that this was an [[Chris and English|accidental misspelling]].

==Uses by Chris==
In addition to the infamous ''Nintendo Power'' letter, Chris has used this particular invented term on several occasions.

* Chris apparently described his noviophobia (spelled as "novio phobia" by the examiner) to the psychiatrist he spoke with during his [[autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] from [[2004]].
* ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' contains multiple references to noviophobia, in Chris's third-person description of himself and in a discussion of his letter to ''Nintendo Power'' (where he corrects the magazine's spelling of the term).
* Chris also mentions his noviophobia several times in the different editions of his [[Story of My Current Days]].
* Though he doesn't use the full term, Chris mentions his phobia of boyfriends during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]].
* In his [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|edited version of his Encyclopedia Dramatica page]], published on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[December 2009]], Chris claimed that he had gotten over his fear of boyfriends in general, replacing it with a more specific fear and hatred of [[trolls]].

==See also==
* [[Spanish]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Noviophobia

2016-01-02T04:05:29Z

Yolo Ohno: minor consistency edits

[[File:Nintendochris.JPG|thumb|Chris explains his "phobia". Note the text box in the screenshot.]]
[[File:142-QuizGirlfriend.jpg|thumb|"I'm sure she is already paired up with some [[jerk]]."]]
'''Noviophobia''' is a word [[Chris]] created that he describes as his general fear of girls being paired up. While normal people would suggest that this is a form of social anxiety or that Chris is just [[Wikipedia:Love shyness|love shy]], Chris of course felt the need to coin his own term for it.

Chris's noviophobia manifested itself during the first months of his [[Love Quest]], and came to be because the girls he asked would often turn him down on the grounds that they "already had a boyfriend," due to the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. This eventually led to Chris's obsession with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. In a moment of typical [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]], Chris decided his envy and resentment of men with girlfriends was a legitimate phobia, and so formed the word noviophobia by using the [[Spanish]] word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English term ''phobia'', derived from the Greek word ''φόβος'' (phóbos), meaning fear. Chris uses this word often and simply assumes others will understand what it is without any explanation.

Noviophobia as a name has several problems. First and foremost, Chris uses it to describe jealous feelings towards men in relationships - something which in no way resembles a phobia, which is an ''irrational'' fear or hatred. It also simply refers to boyfriends in abstraction, which isn't an accurate summation of Chris's issue with women who are in relationships. Finally, the word itself is a linguistic abomination; the prefixes for ''phobia'' should be Greek in origin unless the word does not exist in Greek and cannot be Hellenicised - unsurprisingly, a word for boyfriend does exist in Greek;''αγόρι'', "agori" in the Latin alphabet. Chris's illegitimate phobia would thus technically be considered ''agoriphobia'', although as addressed he possesses no actual phobia at all.

The word has been alternatively spelt as "noiophobia", as it appears in Christian's letter to ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' about how ''[[Sprung]]'' has helped this condition. Chris later explained that this was an [[Chris and English|accidental misspelling]].

==Uses by Chris==
In addition to the infamous ''Nintendo Power'' letter, Chris has used this particular invented term on several occasions.

* Chris apparently described his noviophobia (spelled as "novio phobia" by the examiner) to the psychiatrist he spoke with during his [[autism papers|psychiatric evaluation]] from [[2004]].
* ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' contains multiple references to noviophobia, in Chris's third-person description of himself and in a discussion of his letter to ''Nintendo Power'' (where he corrects the magazine's spelling of the term).
* Chris also mentions his noviophobia several times in the different editions of his [[Story of My Current Days]].
* Though he doesn't use the full term, Chris mentions his phobia of boyfriends during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]].
* In his [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|edited version of his Encyclopedia Dramatica page]], published on the [[CWCipedia]] in [[December 2009]], Chris claimed that he had gotten over his fear of boyfriends in general, replacing it with a more specific fear and hatred of [[trolls]].

==See also==
* [[Spanish]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Autism

2016-01-01T13:25:00Z

Yolo Ohno:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|'''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|[[Chris]], on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble 9.5]]}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED.|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff|exposing Jeff]].}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but it has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

Christian Weston Chandler has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|[http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/| real2, Cracked.com]}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are for the most part his own fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame (other than the elderly [[Bob]] and [[Barb]]) for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approached him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref>

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13-year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing platonic relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and the organization of elements bordering OCD. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He was prohibited from attending pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise.

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PlayStation 3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]—where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]]—as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.
[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in Super Smash Bros.]]
Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community.]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the Internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''". A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]] when in reality many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than he does. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can therefore be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel;" that is to say, it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window into hell."

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* <s>[http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* <s>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021331/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread]</s> where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site." Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Chris and health

2016-01-01T13:06:24Z

Yolo Ohno: logic fix for not good logic -- bob c

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Chris]]'s [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], [[ShowerClean|refusal to bathe]], and [[Tour of Chris's House|the grave uncleanliness]] of [[Rental House|his]] [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Death|death]].

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily, including ones mixed with [[Navy|a special ingredient]].]]

Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely.

Chris claims that he cooks for himself 4 or 5 days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cookbooks.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti in a YouTube video--an incredibly basic dish, mind you--he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead mimed the act and microwaved some canned spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook and simply buys microwaveable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.

Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[My Coke Rewards|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior<ref>[http://www.naturalnews.com/042974_soda_consumption_brain_function_hyperactivity.html|Natural News]</ref>). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* '''Breakfast:''' Often nothing because he usually [[Biological clock|sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon]], but on the rare occasion he does, he travels to McDonald's or another fast food restaurant with a breakfast menu.
* '''Lunch:''' Something quick at home or fast food.
* '''Dinner:''' Dine out at a fast food place with family, or have a poorly-cooked microwave meal.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|ramming stuff]] [[Homos#Evidence that Chris might be gay|in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general.

In short, Chris is a fatty, yet he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that he was prescribed [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the call) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]] (has closed its doors in Charlottesville)
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Burger King]]

==Exercise==
[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]
<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, in [[WelcometoBollywood]] he is capable of dancing in place for over 7 minutes. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of Minute Maid lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should've it to came to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take 6 breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]].]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu]] that he smells good and asks him if he bathed. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that Axe alone can be used to rid of body odor.</ref>

It would appear that Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> In Chris's defense, it should be noted that the clothes that he wears while filming himself are clothes meant to be worn while going outside of the house. Due to not having any of the obligations a man his age is expected to have, it is likely that he spent most of the time between shooting videos at home, possibly wearing pajamas that he may or may not have replaced regularly. It might be that Chris wears outside clothes at home only briefly during the making of videos and takes them off shortly afterwards. If this is the case, the clothes he is seen wearing for several videos in a row were actually worn for not much more than what it took to make the videos in question.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cinematography|low-quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities such as bathing or showering, even if briefly. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way to 0%.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]], and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems have become more severe in recent years. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

One day in September 2014, Chris decided to give himself [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Many trolls were concerned that with Chris's [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unclean habits]], it would eventually become infected. Sure enough, in December, he shared another picture of this piercing which showed that it had not only migrated (''tearing the skin'' in the process), but had become infected as well. Unfortunately, as Chris insists that he is a transwoman, he noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced. Given that Chris was completely ignoring the fact that infection can cause extreme pain--or [[Chris and death|worse]]--it is fortunate that good sense prevailedfor once, and he got rid of it entirely by the end of the year.
{{clear}}

==Living conditions==
[[File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 1.jpg|thumb|Only half a year in and already an inhuman cesspool; quite the accomplishment.]]
''Main article: [[14 Branchland Court]], [[Rental House]]''

Simply put, Chris has spent several years growing acclimated to living in conditions of abject filth and untidiness. The photographs and videos of 14 Branchland Court that he has so unwisely shared with the world showcased to us his filthy bathtub, as well as what appeared to be overflowing bins that looked more like mounds of trash, a kitchen sink overflowing with unwashed plates and cutlery, and even an instance of Chris [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]]. Trolls also managed to [[Rocky Shoemaker call|extract]] from [[Rocky Shoemaker]] that the house was suffering some sort of infestation, which led to [[Bob]] being quarantined after being brought to hospital, and Chris being confined to his room to avoid being bitten. When Chris's last video of the house emerged in the months before the [[Destruction of Chris's House|fire]], it was revealed that the problem had only gotten worse since Bob's passing, with whole rooms literally rendered inaccessible, and some filled almost to the ceiling with items [[Barb]] had hoarded, and with various other rooms reduced to crevices carved into Barb's mountains of junk.

Even after the fire, Chris and Barb have seemingly not amended their habits, as far as housekeeping goes. Photographs of the rental house have revealed a steadily growing number of [[Lego]] boxes strewn around, as well as something much more alarming; when Chris was taking photographs of his merchandise for [[eBay]], he inadvertently photographed rat faeces on the carpet as well. When [[Trolls|concerned customers]] pointed this out Chris [[Chris and reality|flatly denied it]], even though [[Honor roll|he had given them photographic evidence to the contrary]]. Moreover, after [[Catherine]] visited in [[August 2014]], she recalled seeing junk "piled up to the ceiling" and the dogs not being housebroken and allowed to urinate and defecate in piles of newspaper on the floor. While Chris and Barb returned to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[January 2015]], one can only imagine the reaction of the landlord to the state in which they left the house, which, as of [[April 2015]], was still vacant, probably due to the mess they made.

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_10th,_2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video.

One of Chris' relatives, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. He seems to be unwilling to brush his teeth, or at least chew some [[Brand loyalty|Orbit gum]].
{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch—he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For over 6 years, he has been led on by various trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he still falls for it time after time. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years — because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30's, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[Chris and sex#Chris and gender|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris has lost his virginity, however, and as of yet, has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life, in fact he has been plunging himself into debt to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to remember faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky_Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Another mental factor that has affected Chris's overall health is [[stress]]. In August 2013, Chris indicated that the stress he's endured has begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. It seems pretty likely, especially if you take into account Chris's other problems above.

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease]), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; you can probably guess why.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent.

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

12 October 2009

2016-01-01T07:46:46Z

Yolo Ohno: Fix youtube link

'''12 October 2009''' (officially "'''10122009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] shows [[Gregg Mays]] his [[power]]. A more apt description is that he throws a temper tantrum in what is quite possibly his greatest display of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]]. Because of this, the video is also referred to as "'''Chris Loses It'''".

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = The Chronicals of Chris-chan: BERSERKAARRR
| video = {{#ev:youtube|T-j2iTY5qpE}}
| stardate = 12 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{DarkRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde]]
| next = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
'''0:01 to 0:05''': Chris starts the video by screaming randomly and showing his [[Claw of Fail|claws]], then doing what appears to be the jumping part of the [[wikipedia:Agadoo|Agadoo]].

'''0:05 to 0:11''': Chris drops to his knees and screeches like a [[MEOW|cat]] as he repeatedly hops on the spot with an oddly creepy scowl on his face. He then bends over, making a whooping noise like Curly from ''[[Wikipedia:The Three Stooges|The Three Stooges]]'' as he rolls over and falls to the ground forward, causing [[Obesity|the camera to shake intensely]] as we hear a thud. As he does this, he gives us a nice view of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear and plumber's crack]].

'''0:11 to 0:16''': Chris gets to his feet, before leaping up again with another screech.

'''0:16 to 0:29''': Chris rages randomly again, this time failing to break a cardboard box over his head. He then tries to kick a piece of what appears to be cardboard covered in blue cloth. He bends it after the third attempt, and flaps the two ends together before throwing it to the ground.

'''0:29 to 0:34''': After taking a brief moment to pull up his pants, Chris steps on his couch several times before roaring at the camera.

'''0:34 to 0:45''': Chris picks up the cardboard box again and manages to actually tear it in half with a yell, and flings it at the ground. He picks up one of the pieces again and sissy throws it at the camera, missing entirely.

'''0:45 to 0:53''': Chris quiets down for a bit to [[Chris and health|catch his breath after less than a minute of very light exercise]], quietly raging at the camera.

'''0:53 to 1:02''': Chris quietly swivels his chair, moves some stuff out of the way, stands on the chair, and falls over and off it, growling as he hits the ground.

'''1:02 to 1:13''': Chris yells and flails about again randomly, with intermittent quiet periods as he continues to catch his breath and pull his pants up every few moments.

'''1:14 to 1:22''': Chris picks up a telephone and "answers" in a normal tone of voice; "Hello? Yes, hello? Is this, uh, [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? [[Random-access humor|Who threw the frisbee? Well, you know what?]]"

{{RageQuote|RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!}}

'''1:22 to 1:27''': Chris throws the phone at the camera, and it turns around as it topples over. Chris moves it to turn it off.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dance Chris-Chan Dance
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bSisIiepVCQ}}
| stardate = 13 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/drfaust8 unosan]
| subject =
| type = Party Hard Rave
| info = }}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Gets a Call from Walter Grisby
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SK2IP21R50Q}}
| stardate = 08 [[November 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = This is how Chris treats [[white knight]]s.
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde]]|nextlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]
[[Category:Videos with Camera Abuse]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-12]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-10-12]]

12 October 2009

2016-01-01T07:36:45Z

Yolo Ohno: /* Video */

'''12 October 2009''' (officially "'''10122009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] shows [[Gregg Mays]] his [[power]]. A more apt description is that he throws a temper tantrum in what is quite possibly his greatest display of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]]. Because of this, the video is also referred to as "'''Chris Loses It'''".

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = 10122009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ILq5DVl7g6o}}
| stardate = 12 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{DarkRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde]]
| next = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
}}

This is [https://archive.org/download/yt-TheCWCvilleLibrary/The%20Chronicles%20of%20Chris-chan%20%20BERSERKAARRR%20%5b10%2012%2009%5d.mp4 BERSERKAARRR] in the archive.

=== Transcript ===
'''0:01 to 0:05''': Chris starts the video by screaming randomly and showing his [[Claw of Fail|claws]], then doing what appears to be the jumping part of the [[wikipedia:Agadoo|Agadoo]].

'''0:05 to 0:11''': Chris drops to his knees and screeches like a [[MEOW|cat]] as he repeatedly hops on the spot with an oddly creepy scowl on his face. He then bends over, making a whooping noise like Curly from ''[[Wikipedia:The Three Stooges|The Three Stooges]]'' as he rolls over and falls to the ground forward, causing [[Obesity|the camera to shake intensely]] as we hear a thud. As he does this, he gives us a nice view of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear and plumber's crack]].

'''0:11 to 0:16''': Chris gets to his feet, before leaping up again with another screech.

'''0:16 to 0:29''': Chris rages randomly again, this time failing to break a cardboard box over his head. He then tries to kick a piece of what appears to be cardboard covered in blue cloth. He bends it after the third attempt, and flaps the two ends together before throwing it to the ground.

'''0:29 to 0:34''': After taking a brief moment to pull up his pants, Chris steps on his couch several times before roaring at the camera.

'''0:34 to 0:45''': Chris picks up the cardboard box again and manages to actually tear it in half with a yell, and flings it at the ground. He picks up one of the pieces again and sissy throws it at the camera, missing entirely.

'''0:45 to 0:53''': Chris quiets down for a bit to [[Chris and health|catch his breath after less than a minute of very light exercise]], quietly raging at the camera.

'''0:53 to 1:02''': Chris quietly swivels his chair, moves some stuff out of the way, stands on the chair, and falls over and off it, growling as he hits the ground.

'''1:02 to 1:13''': Chris yells and flails about again randomly, with intermittent quiet periods as he continues to catch his breath and pull his pants up every few moments.

'''1:14 to 1:22''': Chris picks up a telephone and "answers" in a normal tone of voice; "Hello? Yes, hello? Is this, uh, [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? [[Random-access humor|Who threw the frisbee? Well, you know what?]]"

{{RageQuote|RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!}}

'''1:22 to 1:27''': Chris throws the phone at the camera, and it turns around as it topples over. Chris moves it to turn it off.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dance Chris-Chan Dance
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bSisIiepVCQ}}
| stardate = 13 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/drfaust8 unosan]
| subject =
| type = Party Hard Rave
| info = }}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Gets a Call from Walter Grisby
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SK2IP21R50Q}}
| stardate = 08 [[November 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = This is how Chris treats [[white knight]]s.
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde]]|nextlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]
[[Category:Videos with Camera Abuse]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-12]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-10-12]]

Sign Destruction Video

2016-01-01T07:15:09Z

Yolo Ohno: fix youtube link

[[Image:EDSign.jpg|thumb|200px|The sign as it was originally found.]]

The "'''Sign Destruction Video'''", or "'''09062009'''", is a [[video]] that [[Chris]] uploaded on 6 [[September 2009]]. It depicts him in a rage, violently tearing up the sign that [[trolls]] left on his front lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]]. He does this as a [[death threat]] against [[Vivian Gee]] and her family, including [[Clyde Cash]], although it's not certain as to whether he meant actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|killing]] them, or simply poking them with wooden sticks and biting their hats off. It's obvious that Chris was rattled by the sign, as he kept it for 10 months before destroying it.

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sign Destruction Video
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N7vJT_Dg5QU}}
| stardate = 6 [[September 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShortSleeve|text}}
| previous = [[4 September 2009]]
| next = [[10 September 2009]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|LOOK AT THOSE CAVITIES GODDAMN]]

Hmm...apparently, my, uh, heed of warning towards Vivian...has gone unheard or otherwise [''holds up [[claw]]''] she did not rea''lize the fury of my'' '''[[Chris and anger|WRATH]]'''...and she has done [[Audiobooks|a terrible deed]]. So, let's begin with a [''lowers voice''] ''visual aid''. [''bends down''] Stop me if you have not seen '''THIS''' before! [''picks up and displays a grass stain-covered sign reading "Encyclopedia Dramatica - ♥ [[Jimmy Hill]]''] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Ungh]]!

Nnyergh, now watch what I'll do with this as I will ''do'' to Vivian Gee if she does not sss--take down every last one of her videos ''and'' closes her YouTube account! [''pulls the sign in half''] NNNNNGH! [''bangs the wooden stakes together before bending them. At one point he seems to try to snap the wood, but after a moment of effort thinks better of it. He then proceeds to stab what is left of the sign.'']

[''picks up [[clown doll]]''] This is for Clyde Cash to every last one of his [[Ryan Cash|family members]] '''INCLUDING''' his carninian! [''jabs the doll with one of the wooden stakes 11 times, bites its hat off and spits out the fluff in his mouth''] '''Ngrrrr...''' [''slams doll to ground''] '''RARRRAAAARRGGHH!! GRRRRRRRRRARAAAAAAAAA'''--

[''jump cut to a sudden close up of Chris's eyes''] Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. [''practically swallows the camera, showing off his bared, saliva-stained [[fangs]]'']

{{RageQuote|GRRAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGH--}}

==See also==

* [[Vibrator destruction video]]
* [[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[4 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[10 September 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-06]]

Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008

2015-12-31T19:46:43Z

Yolo Ohno: Fix video link

'''Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008''' (officially '''Chris Chan Update October 21, 2008''') is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] to [[YouTube]] on the titular date, and until [[CWC is Sad|nearly one year later]] was Chris at his lowest point.

Chris issues a statement on [[Blanca]] breaking up with him over the photo of himself wearing his mother's underwear. He also takes time to complain about rickyricardo123 stealing his [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] and [[Jimmy Hill]] plagiarizing his beloved [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. (Note that Chris will tell people HE broke up with HER, even when this video is available to all.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Note_that...]]</ref>)

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uK2e5IQTvvY}}
| stardate = 21 [[October 2008]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Blanca|text}} {{Hill|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008#Video|Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008]]
| next = [[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008#Video|Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]
}}
{{quote|Let my words speak for themselves.}}
{{quote|You made me crash… into slumber…}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|150px|One of the photos that made Blanca leave Chris]]
[''Chris is lying on a couch and a bunch of pillows.'']
[[Captain's Log]]. Ssstardate: October 21st, [[2008]].

[''inhales deeply and [[sigh]]s''] Well… it's done. Mmm. [[Blanca]] and I, well, she broke up with me, 'cause the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle Man]] tricked me again. A few more stupid photos. [''sighs''] Anyway, she saw them, she got angry, she broke up with me. So… I'm sad.

And… the void in my heart that requires a [[sweetheart]] is open again, and it hurts. I hope you [[jerks]] and [[trolls]] who wanted to break us up… are happy… 'cause all you did was make me feel sad and depressed. And you made me ''crash''… into slumber… a couple of times. And you know, it takes a lot of [[stress]] and exhaust… and such… to make a person feel like they're gonna ''crash'' and burn… into a whole bunch of s-- into a long slumber… that just basically sleeps o-- that just basically sleeps off the—uh, what's the word I was looking for? I had it. Ugh…

Anyway… we're broken up, you jer—I hope you jerks are happy. So, anyway, I'm sad, and Blanca is sad, too… w-- uh, even more sad because… ''her grandma died.'' [''inhales deeply and coughs'']

And, uh, as—and I know the name… of the, uh, guy who, uh, did that to the medal in that video. His screen name is rickyricardo123, but in real life, his name is Ricky. So… anyway… he's either somewhere in Kentucky… or somewhere in Illinois. More likely in Kentucky, so… if anybody knows him, bring him in to justice! Turn him in to the police department. I want to make an example out of that bastard.

[''sighs''] Anyway, other updates… uh… don't really have too many other updates at the moment… so, uh…

You know, [[PandaHalo]] is the moderator for the fan site, on, uh—that I have officially approved… so… she's also helping me against, uh… the impostor [[Jimmy Hill]]. Again, do not buy anything from that… ''bastard'' impostor… 'cause y'all know he did the same thing to Warner Bros. years ago, and he was put to jail for it. So, he deserves to be put in jail ''again''… or otherwise, uh, somebody who's ''posing'' as Jimmy Hill… uh, in this case, this guy still needs to be put in jail.

So… yeah. Imprison the, uh, Ricky… and the Jimmy, or the impostor known as “Jimmy Hill”. That's it for now. I'm gonna sulk some more, and maybe I'll upload this video. I don't know.

Y'all take care and be safe.

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2008-10-21]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2008| 21]]
[[Category:Jimmy Hill Saga videos| 2008-10-21]]
[[Category:Blanca Saga videos| 2008-10-21]]

Nudes

2015-12-31T05:24:42Z

Yolo Ohno: /* History */

{{Honest}}

[[Image:CWCnudes.jpg|thumb|right|Typical reaction to Chris Chan nudes.]]

On several occasions, '''nude''' photographs and screencaps showing [[Chris]]'s uncovered or scantly covered body, often including his [[duck|genitals]], have leaked onto the [[Internet]].

==History==
The first nudes were obtained by [[Lordsillynipples]], a [[troll]] posing as Chris's off-and-on sweetheart [[Blanca Weiss]]. They hit the Internet on [[Twin Falling Towers|11]] [[September 2008]] and were quickly followed by a second round of photos released five days later by trolls who hacked Chris's e-mail account. They included photos of a mostly-naked Chris standing around in his room, close-up shots of his flaccid [[duck]] with a crude cartoon of [[Sonichu]] on it, and the infamous photo of Chris posing in his [[mother]]'s underwear.

In the first set of nudes, Chris was smart enough not to include his face in any of the pictures. However, he was [[Naive|foolish]] enough to take them in what was clearly his room, complete with a picture of [[Rosechu]] visible in the background.

21 September 2008 saw the release of webcam-snapped photos showing more of Chris's penis. On 25 September, they were followed by a series of [[Chris Sex Videos|sex videos]] Chris recorded at the behest of his would-be sweetheart [[PandaHalo]]. These featured Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] and employing the [[fapcup]], and gave the world a good look at the joint in his duck for the first time. Even more masturbation videos hit the web two weeks later, on 6 [[October 2008]].

Chris's blow-up doll sex tape, [[For Julie's Eyes Only]], is perhaps the most famous exposure his body has ever received. It was leaked on 20 [[February 2009]]. It came close to being equaled on 16 [[April 2009]], however, when Chris recorded a [[April 16 Fetish Vids|series of videos]] for his new sweetheart [[Ivy]] where (among other things) he stripped naked, danced in his shower, and spanked himself on camera.

After the [[CWCFlyingElephants]] video, leaked on 27 April 2009, Chris's naked body did not reappear on the internet for nearly two years. Unfortunately, it did not leave us for good. He showed off his duck once again (to what he believed was a limited audience) in the [[Cwcsicle]] clip, leaked in [[March 2011]], and more bare flesh followed a month later in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]].

Meanwhile, potential sweetheart [[Jackie]] persuaded Christine to make two more NSFW videos. In [[Little Tomboy Blue]], Chris performs a striptease, showing his cleavage and jiggling his ass. And in what might be his most disgusting video (although the competition is stiff), [[Cakefarts]] features his chocolate-covered butt and semi-erect duck, with the bend apparent. Both videos were apparently produced in July 2011 and released to a rapturous public in February 2012, on Chris's birthday.

Coming out as a lesbian transgender in mid-2014 required Chris to reevaluate his genitalia, and he proudly showed off several modifications to his sweetheart [[Catherine]] and other gal-pals. In September he pierced his taint, dubbing it the [[un-clit]], and we got to see one of the few remaining parts of Chris's body which he had not yet revealed. Around the same time he took photos of his crotch to demonstrate how he tucks his junk with a red dildo harness.

==Drawn nudes==
On several occasions, Chris has drawn images depicting himself, his friends, or characters from his comic without clothes on, often engaging in sexual acts. For information on these images, see [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]].

==Gallery of horrors==

{{gallery
|Fair warning is given, viewing these images may result in blindness and/or copious amounts of vomit. Also, the less these are viewed at work, the better.
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:Cwcshaven.JPG|The sad thing is, it's longer and wider when it's limp. Plus, the bend isn't as obvious.
Image:CWCMyduck.JPG|The uncensored image constitutes a crime against humanity in accordance with international law.
Image:CWCass.JPG|This was sent to a straight woman, because straight women are turned on by men's asses.
Image:CWCanus.JPG|Where Chris [[Julie Reveals Herself|stores his medallions]].
Image:CWCduck.jpg|In all its [[Jew|cut]] glory.
Image:Bent_duck.jpg|Note the green bathrobe that Chris would later wear in the recycling video.
Image:Cwcduckling.JPG‎|Mother of God.......
Image:CWCsonichuduck.JPG|It is unknown whether drawing Sonichu on his penis was Chris's or lordsillynipples's idea.
Image:fapcupwhy.jpg|Chris using the [[Fapcup]].
Image:CWCs-Weeping-Pickle.jpg|The aftermath from using the Fapcup. Notice how [[navy]] is still dripping from his shrunken duck.
File:CWCpanties1.JPG|Chris in his mother's panties, apparently for [[Blanca]]'s benefit.
File:Panties 1.png|Another.
File:Panties 2.png|Yet another.
Image:CWCmassdebate.jpg|Screencaps from a [[Chris Sex Videos|webcam video]] shot in the Chandler's filthy kitchen.
File:Assofterror.jpg|Chris's ass of terror, part of a video for [[Vanessa]].
Image:Fallingoffbalance.jpg|Chris slips and almost seriously injures himself while dancing naked in his filthy shower.
Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|Guess he's a shower, not a grower.
Image:Spanking3.jpg|Chris spanks himself and films it as an apology to [[Ivy]].
File:Ecp00066.jpg|Chris is also forced to wear a [[butt garments|diaper]] for Ivy, but winks to make it sexy.
Image:CWCtopless.jpg|Topless, but not medallionless.
File:TG13.jpg|One of the [[tomgirl]] images. Technically not nude--he's wearing a banana hammock.
File:TG20.jpg|Another sexy tomgirl photo, as seen by millions on MTV.
File:Unclit (NSFL).jpg|Chris's taint piercing, the [[un-clit]].
File:Unclit (INFECTED!!!).jpg|A few weeks later, and the piercing is infected.
File:ChrisContraption 03.JPG|Chris demonstrating how he tucks his duck, with bonus un-clit.
</gallery>}}

[[Category:N00dz]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Sonichu (game)

2015-12-31T04:44:15Z

Yolo Ohno: /* Sonichu Adventure */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Sonichu on Game Boy Advance.jpg|thumb|It was supposed to come out on GBA. Guess what? For some reason, it didn't. Also notice the spelling mistake in 'Advance' that was poorly corrected. [[Honor roll]], [[Audiobooks|my ass]].]]

The prospect of creating an official '''''Sonichu''''' video game is one of Chris's long-lasting [[Chris and reality|delusions]]. Being the total fucktard he is, he wants [[Nintendo]] and [[Sega]] (and possibly [[Sony]]) to team up and create this game starring his [[Sonichu|shitty excuse for a character]]. But, as in many other areas, Chris is not very loyal to anyone, and, because of this, he is almost as easily tricked by [[trolls]] pretending to be game developers as he is by trolls pretending to be girls.

== Chris's game proposals ==
[[Image:AdultChroniclesAd.jpg|thumb|To encourage a developer to pick up the game, Chris made his own ad to decrease production costs.]]
Unfortunately for people who want to make sense of the whole mess, Chris is extremely vague about what he envisions his ideal games to be. He seems to come up with different game ideas and names, without really bothering to make them too different from each other. The game ideas seem to come and go based on the systems Chris has owned and used at the time, and he seems to be perfectly willing to let the [[trolls|game designers]] take full charge of every aspect of naming and design these games, as long as his vague parameters are followed.

Chris has been very quiet about any sort of a concrete plans for what the games should be like gameplay-wise, and has only stated what characters he envisions the games should have, what sort of "adventures" he envisions them having, and how those characters could possibly tie into level designs. According to the [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009 video]], Chris only has the "story arcs" of the games in his head and on paper:

{{quote|I got so many more story arcs in there [[Transformers|than meets the eye]], yes- I mean multiple character switches and I have all the story plots, I'm- I have all the story plots in my head, and ON PAPER. On paper. Including like, you know, "Hey, whatever happened to [[Wild Sonichu]]'s scyther father?" He gets kidnapped a long time ago. You know? He gets kidnapped. And then [[Sonichu]] actually- and then Wild Sonichu actually goes and find him. And [[Bubbles]] is on her way to an amusement park. W-, uh... [[Angelica]] goes and defend her new church. [[Punchy]] is out for a new challenge, and [[Magi-chan]], [[Homos|I'm not sure about him yet]]. And [[Sonichu]] is out for- is out to- he's accept- he's accepted the challenge from [[Metal Sonichu]].|Chris, explaining concepts but not details.}}

Chris hasn't, however, stated some ''very basic'' gameplay details, such as the supposed ''genres'' of the games; ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is easy to figure out, but the rest are anyone's guess. He is possibly picturing the games as some sort of a continuation of the 3D Sonic game series, with Chris scoffing at the idea of the games being in 2D (and offering no information beyond that). All this is highly alarming, because even the most clueless fangame designers can usually get ''this'' much done. Chris spends much more time pitching the game idea itself and considering his personal involvement with the project (making advertisements, and offering to act as a voice actor) than he does on thinking about the actual ''gameplay''.

Ironically, Chris's dream of a Sonichu game, at least based on [[Miyamoto saga]] is that his Sonichu game isn't even really about Sonichu but rather pushing for ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', where Sonichu and Rosechu are minor characters with the main focus on Chris [[Autism|struggling to adjust to adult life]].

The Sonichu game was planned to be released on all consoles except the [[HEXBox|HEXBox 360]], due to Chris's pathological Sony-fanboyism and/or his unwillingness to spend his [[monthly tugboat]] on an online connection rather than games. Chris is also hoping the games to be developed on both PlayStation 2 and PlayStation 3, in spite of the fact that PlayStation 2 has been put on the back-burner as far as most developers are concerned.

=== Why all this is futile ===
{{main|Chris and the industry}}

Plain and simple, none of the media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this. While companies do market research and figure out whether the time is ripe for games, they rarely take direct input from gamers on what kind of games they should publish. There are time constraints; a publisher would need to deal with a huge volume of ideas, all of which would need all due consideration. There are legal constraints; if a company rejects the idea, they have to agree to never implement a similar idea even if they came up with it on their own, or the dejected fan might sue them for idea theft. Ideas also take considerable time and energy to be actually implemented. Finally, Chris is in no position to make demands to Nintendo and Sega, since it is, ultimately, ''they'' who hold the copyrights to Pikachu and Sonic.

==Games proposed==
===Sonichu Adventure===
''Sonichu Adventure'' was a game [[Chris]] planned to release for the [[Nintendo|Nintendo GameCube and Game Boy Advance]] systems before deciding that [[Ego|he]] was a far more interesting topic for a game, and diverted his attention towards ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]''.

The game is a blatant rip-off of ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]'', as evidenced by the title and its release for the GameCube (''Sonic Adventure'' was originally released exclusively for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Dreamcast|Sega Dreamcast]], but was later re-released for the GameCube).

''Sonichu Adventure'' was one of the ads in the [[Sonichu 0|first issue]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comic]]. In true Chris style, the design of the game never went beyond a mocked-up bit of boxart and a ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine cover that displayed the depths of Chris's awesome talent.

In early promotional materials, it was titled "Sonichu's Adventure", but the "'s" was dropped in the final box art and images in-game. Details about the game are elaborated in the [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'']].

Chris's basic statements about the game in the video ''[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]'' indicate that the game would have had branching single player story paths, each following different characters. [[Wild Sonichu]] would be questing to find his lost father, [[Bubbles]] does some stupid bullshit at an amusement park, [[Angelica]] has to defend her new church against some unnamed enemy, [[Punchy]] goes out looking for a new challenge, (whatever that means), and [[Sonichu]] accepts some kind of challenge from [[Metal Sonichu]]. Chris also says that [[Magi-Chan]] would have been involved in some way as well, but Chris never thought of an idea for what he could do.

===Sonichu Advance===
''Sonichu Advance'' was Chris's proposed Sonichu game for the Game Boy Advance. The title indicates that it would have probably been a ripoff of the ''Sonic Advance'' series, which are GBA installments of Sega Genesis-style [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] games with sprites updated to the ''Sonic Adventure'' art-style, and other graphical improvements.

Sonichu Advance first featured in an advertisement in [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]]. It also appeared on Chris's second [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]] cover, as featured in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|Sonichu Chronicles]] PowerPoint presentation for Nintendo.

===Pokémon: Lightning Version===
''Pokémon: Lightning Version'' was a [[Pokémon]] game for the Game Boy Advance that Chris planned on releasing, possibly at the same time as ''Sonichu Advance''. Not much is known about this game, as Chris said very little about it, even in advertisements, other than implying you would get to "catch" Sonichus at some point. Chris merely stated that " I have the idea for the story beginning in my head" and that it would feature "Babies for ALL the Sonichus and Rosechus (minus Blake) and Evolutions (For Original Sonichu and Rosechu ONLY)."<ref>[[The_Sonichu_Chronicles]]</ref>

===Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles}}

''Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles'' is Chris's extremely dumb and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]] [[video game]] idea where one plays Chris trying to fight [[Jerkops]] to find a true [[sweetheart]] and kill [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] as useless, but determined, sidekicks. There is no available information on the genre or mechanics of the game.

Originally, Chris was determined to see Sonichu made into a game, but based on his interactions during [[Miyamoto Saga]] and in ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris seems more determined to make his own game all about him and his failure to adjust to adult life.

=== DLC ===
Chris had also intended to release DLC for certain games related to Sonichu.

*In ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' ad, Chris promised CWC and Sonichu-related content for ''[[Soul Calibur|Soul Calibur IV]]''.

*Over the [[Miyamoto Saga]], the trolls convinced Chris that ''[[Animal Crossing|Animal Crossing: City Folk]]'' would get Sonichu and Rosechu as villagers.

== Chris's plea to his fans ==
In mid-[[2008]], trying to cash in on what he believed to be a massive [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase|fanbase]] (in actuality, [[trolls]] pretending to be fans), Chris implored his fans to be his personal army and beg Nintendo, Sega and Sony to make his game (because they'd probably stopped responding to Chris even with form letters).

{{quotebox|With the Sonichu Fanbase growing wildly with lots of energtic Hype, I am ready to take Sonichu and my world of [[Cwcville]] back to Nintendo of America and SEGA of America. And upon the unity in business between Nintendo, the company who provided me with my second gaming system, the Game Boy, after my very first Commodore 64 computer, SEGA, the company who introduced Sonic the Hedgehog as not only my Life-Long Hero, after [[the American Rabbit]], but as the True Role Model Icon I am proud to have learned some of my attitudes and beliefs from since [[1991]], and myself, Christian Weston Chandler, we will make Sonichu and Rosechu and their world being more Real than I was able to make them by myself with pen and markers in hand, and a vasly-knowledgeable imagination

You won't be able to truly say you've "Caught Them All", until you've caught the Original Sonichu and Rosechu in a CWC Approved Nintendo/Sega Pok'emon Lightning Version on GBA and DS to catch a great share of the other currently avilable Four Hundred and Ninty-Three Pok'emon.

Think you know the ins and outs of Sonichu and Rosechu, wait until Season Two of [[Sonichu (comic)|the Comic Book Series]], likely to start within the year 2009. I will withdraw myself from being as intrusive in the series as I have been so far; I've been selfish, and I'm tired of drawing myself so much. See how I take my leave of Cwcville in the Season Finale, to hopefully be uploaded and on the Sonichu Site 4th Quarter, [[2008]] or 1st Quarter, [[2009]]

And because I've been hogging the spotlight, you don't know Sonichu and Rosechu as you properly should. In the first CWC Approved Release of the "[[Sonichu Adventure|Sonichu's Adventure]]" video game, with Nintendo and SEGA's help, on Nintendo Wii (although it was intended originally for GameCube), with compatibility with the Wii Classic Controler as well as GameCube Contoller, with rumble functionality hopefully. Sonichu is more than Lightning and Lightning-Speed, and Rosechu is more than delightful Bolts and Heart-Felt for Sonichu. Play on, as they rescue each other from the darkest evil that has manifested itself within some recycled nuts and bolts on [[the Moon]]. And what a storyline it will have, based mostly from the comics with the duo and the [[Chaotic Combo]] as well.

And I HAVE the idea for the Video Game for myself, if I can swing that with SEGA as well, an epic tale of my tragic Adult Life straight from my tortured heart and soul. I will bring the pain to the [[Jerkops]], I will kick [[Mary Lee Walsh]] into her cauldron to burn, as well as the other villians. And I will have support from [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|my Electric-Hedgehogs]], [[Barb|my mother]] and [[Bob|father,]] my Closest [[Gal-Pals]] who I've grown to love; [[Megan|Megan Schroeder]] and [[Anna McLerran]] to name a couple, sparingly in the game. And I will square-off in the TRULY SELF-EPIC Battle between me, and [[Reldnahc|my Dark Half]]. I plan to have THIS GAME ALONE go Multi-Console between Nintendo Wii, Playstation 2 and Playstation 3 (with downloadable content); screw the [[Xbox|HEX-Box]].

And All This CAN come to Fruition... with YOUR HELP!

The populace of Sonichu, Rosechu and Christian Chandler fans. All I ask for in minimum, is to contact Nintendo of America AND SEGA of America by way of POSTING in their respective FORUMS, sending them E-Mails, and, HIGHLY Recommended, Hand-Written Letters to BOTH Companies, that You Want Sonichu, and that they should get in touch with me, Christian Weston Chandler, via Telephone, Snail-Mail, or In Person; I will NOT accept E-Mail, because apparently [[Miyamoto Saga|THAT CAN be Faked]].. Both Companies have my information in their computers, as I have written to them a number of times in my lifetime.

Who do you want to catch?

[[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]!

Who's the Underdog Director you've grown to know?

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]!

When Do You Want Nintendo and SEGA to Talk to Me to EVOLVE Sonichu and Rosechu more Realistically?

NOW!!!}}

== Game production attempts ==
=== JK Productions (August 2008) ===
{{main|JK Productions}}

In [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008]] Chris described what he envisioned for the upcoming [[Sonichu]] game being developed by [[JK Productions]]. Chris also set up a (now deleted) blog dedicated solely to the game development. JK Productions later turned out to be trolls and cut off all ties with Chris. Chris went back to harassing Nintendo executives shortly afterwards.

=== Miyamoto Saga (January 2009) ===
{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of [[2009]], Chris thought he was in talks with Nintendo about releasing the game on the Sony platforms, exchanging several emails with trolls posing as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] among others. He was of course being trolled, as part of an elaborate scheme set up by his future arch-nemesis, [[Clyde Cash]].

Of particular interest here, (from the game design point of view, as well as deciphering Chris's intentions), was [[The Sonichu Chronicles|the PowerPoint presentation]] he made for Nintendo. Yet, even ''this'' presentation will disappoint most people greatly: ''one'' slide that maybe even dares to mention the topic of the discussion at hand - to wit, the Sonichu games, and all the rest about [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]] and [[Chris and his Ego|Chris himself]].

=== Chris's own game development projects (November 2008) ===
{{main|LittleBigPlanet}}

Being a level designer game, Chris quickly became obsessed with LBP in later [[2008]], as it allowed him to finally live out his dream of creating the Sonichu video game he had always wanted. He created two or three sub-par levels based around Sonichu and then forgot about that idea completely, instead making levels about the [[PS3 History Level|PS3 itself]], [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|his then current sweetheart]] and later, [[The Wallflower|owls]]. Thus even Chris gave up on making a Sonichu game, content with his single unplayable Sonichu level and Sonichu themed sackboy costume.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Sonichu_Adventure_for_Gamecube.jpg|The E rating is surprising, considering all the ''ahem''- [[Rule 34|romance]].
Image:Sonichu_on_Game_Boy_Advance.jpg|''Sonichu Advance'' and ''Pokémon: Lightning Version'' adverts in [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]].
Image:002-CWCsSonichuBook.jpg|[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]] cover, showcasing Sonichu Adventure and Sonichu Advance.
Image:038-CWCsNP35.jpg|Moar on Sonichu Adventure.
Image:CWConPS3.jpg|Adult Chronicles cover on PS3.
Image:CWConPS2.jpg|Adult Chronicles cover on PS2.
Image:CWConWii.jpg|Adult Chronicles cover on Wii.
Image:CWConHEXBAWX.jpg|Adult Chronicles cover on [[Hex-Box]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[JK Productions]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]
*[[EX-CWC]]
*[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]
*[[LittleBigPlanet]]

{{Sonichu Games}}

[[Category:Video games created by Chris]]

CWC More Than A Feeling

2015-12-31T04:09:06Z

Yolo Ohno: Fix More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION youtube link

[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|KNOW THE DIFFERENCE]]

'''CWC More Than A Feeling''' is a video filmed in [[2008]] or early [[2009]] and uploaded on 29 [[July 2009|July]], depicting [[Solid Chris]] playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' to the song "[[wikipedia:More Than a Feeling|More Than a Feeling]]" by [[wikipedia:Boston (band)|Boston]]. In short, it's over 5 minutes of him just playing with his [[gitar]], slapping on the whammy bar like a maniac. Notably, Solid's goatee is not present, suggesting the video was filmed quite some time before being made public. A careful ear might also hear that the TV plays music when Solid himself is not strumming on the gitar, suggesting that he was playing on either the Easy, Medium or Hard difficulties instead of Expert, yet still misses a fair amount of notes, which begs the question if he ever intended this to be impressive to anyone.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC More Than A Feeling
| image = {{#ev:youtube|9s-6RpYdQyc}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 July 2009
| Subject Matter = {{Music|[[Guitar Hero]]}}
| Saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| Shirt = Some red shirt with white stripes
| previous = [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]
| next = [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]
}} </center>

==Response==
The same day this video was reuploaded, [[Liquid Chris]] responded to this video by making his own version. Here, he plays with a [[TRUE and HONEST]] acoustic guitar, rather than one made of plastic.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|85OnCfAG4RI}}
| Stardate = 29 [[July 2009]]
| Maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| Subject Matter = {{Music|text}}
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#That_Slanderous_Clyde_Cash_is_Harassing_me_Again|That Slanderous Clyde Cash is Harassing me Again]]
| next = [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Christian Weston Chandler (Ricardo) Hablar con el Impostor, And MANY OTHER NOTIFICATIONS!]]
}}

[''Liquid, brandishing a acoustic guitar, makes the [[Claw of Fail]], then clenches it into a fist and plays the song flawlessly'']

[''angrily''] Take that, impostor!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Music Videos]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-29]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-07-29]]

PlayStation 3

2015-12-30T10:08:14Z

Yolo Ohno: Added link to script to calculate new spending graph

[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

{{DeadLinks}}

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. She was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when she still had a few other outlets for entertaining herself outside her home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]] in the spring of 2008, although that signal spike might have been augmented as a result of his concurrent "breakup" with Megan Schroeder in a bid to salve the emotional wound with the desperate application of virtual toys. Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, she began spending a good deal more money one PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 10. Source: [[CWC PSN Spending R script]] ]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 31 [[March 2014]], Chris has 3,587 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''
|12
|100%
| A fairly short game fighting game that generally be beaten in under 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|[[Chris and Sex|69]]
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu (character)|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
| ''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
| All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
| Furries galore.
|-
| ''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
| 21
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
| 15
| 100%
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but in reality, he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
| 12
| 100%
| [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
| ''Sonic the Hedgehog''
| 12
| 100%
| Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
| [[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
| 13
| 100%
| A Vita tutorial.
|-
| ''Sly Minigames''
| 8
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''100!!!''...oh, it's 4 trophies for 4 levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Granted, it's an acclaimed title, but Chris thinks this game is up there among the greatest ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. However, it's worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
| ''God of War''
| 33
| 82%
| Most of the trophies are earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
| 5
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
| 35
| 77%
| A pop music version of ''Guitar Hero''.
|-
| ''The Price is Right''
| 11
| 76%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
| 43
| 72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
| 10
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
| 7
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
| 27
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
| 36
| 62%
| ''Sonic Kart'' couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to ''ModNation''.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
| 31
| 58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|Uno]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|Xbox Live Arcade]] version. Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* <s>[http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]</s> Dead link as of May 2015

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

PlayStation 3

2015-12-30T10:02:51Z

Yolo Ohno:

[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

{{DeadLinks}}

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. She was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when she still had a few other outlets for entertaining herself outside her home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]] in the spring of 2008, although that signal spike might have been augmented as a result of his concurrent "breakup" with Megan Schroeder in a bid to salve the emotional wound with the desperate application of virtual toys. Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, she began spending a good deal more money one PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 10]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 31 [[March 2014]], Chris has 3,587 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''
|12
|100%
| A fairly short game fighting game that generally be beaten in under 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|[[Chris and Sex|69]]
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu (character)|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
| ''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
| All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
| Furries galore.
|-
| ''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
| 21
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
| 15
| 100%
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but in reality, he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
| 12
| 100%
| [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
| ''Sonic the Hedgehog''
| 12
| 100%
| Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
| [[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
| 13
| 100%
| A Vita tutorial.
|-
| ''Sly Minigames''
| 8
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''100!!!''...oh, it's 4 trophies for 4 levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Granted, it's an acclaimed title, but Chris thinks this game is up there among the greatest ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. However, it's worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
| ''God of War''
| 33
| 82%
| Most of the trophies are earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
| 5
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
| 35
| 77%
| A pop music version of ''Guitar Hero''.
|-
| ''The Price is Right''
| 11
| 76%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
| 43
| 72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
| 10
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
| 7
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
| 27
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
| 36
| 62%
| ''Sonic Kart'' couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to ''ModNation''.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
| 31
| 58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|Uno]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|Xbox Live Arcade]] version. Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* <s>[http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]</s> Dead link as of May 2015

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

File:Cwc spending.png

2015-12-30T09:57:58Z

Yolo Ohno: Yolo Ohno uploaded a new version of File:Cwc spending.png

A graph of his spending from 4/07 to 2/08

original

File:Cwc spending.png

2015-12-30T09:56:54Z

Yolo Ohno: Yolo Ohno uploaded a new version of File:Cwc spending.png

A graph of his spending from 4/07 to 2/08

original

PlayStation 3

2015-12-29T07:13:28Z

Yolo Ohno: /* Spending history */

[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
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{{DeadLinks}}

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. She was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when she still had a few other outlets for entertaining herself outside her home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]] in the spring of 2008, although that signal spike might have been augmented as a result of his concurrent "breakup" with Megan Schroeder in a bid to salve the emotional wound with the desperate application of virtual toys. Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, she began spending a good deal more money one PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 31 [[March 2014]], Chris has 3,587 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''
|12
|100%
| A fairly short game fighting game that generally be beaten in under 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|[[Chris and Sex|69]]
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu (character)|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
| ''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
| All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
| Furries galore.
|-
| ''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
| 21
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
| 15
| 100%
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but in reality, he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
| 12
| 100%
| [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
| ''Sonic the Hedgehog''
| 12
| 100%
| Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
| [[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
| 13
| 100%
| A Vita tutorial.
|-
| ''Sly Minigames''
| 8
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''100!!!''...oh, it's 4 trophies for 4 levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Granted, it's an acclaimed title, but Chris thinks this game is up there among the greatest ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. However, it's worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
| ''God of War''
| 33
| 82%
| Most of the trophies are earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
| 5
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
| 35
| 77%
| A pop music version of ''Guitar Hero''.
|-
| ''The Price is Right''
| 11
| 76%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
| 43
| 72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
| 10
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
| 7
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
| 27
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
| 36
| 62%
| ''Sonic Kart'' couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to ''ModNation''.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
| 31
| 58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|Uno]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|Xbox Live Arcade]] version. Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* <s>[http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]</s> Dead link as of May 2015

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

PlayStation 3

2015-12-29T07:03:21Z

Yolo Ohno: /* Spending history */

[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

{{DeadLinks}}

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. She was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when she still had a few other outlets for entertaining herself outside her home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]] in the spring of 2008, although that signal spike might have been augmented as a result of his concurrent "breakup" with Megan Schroeder in a desperate bid salve the emotional loss with virtual toys. Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, she began spending a good deal more money one PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 31 [[March 2014]], Chris has 3,587 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''
|12
|100%
| A fairly short game fighting game that generally be beaten in under 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|[[Chris and Sex|69]]
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu (character)|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
| ''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
| All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
| Furries galore.
|-
| ''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
| 21
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
| 15
| 100%
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but in reality, he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
| 12
| 100%
| [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
| ''Sonic the Hedgehog''
| 12
| 100%
| Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
| [[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
| 13
| 100%
| A Vita tutorial.
|-
| ''Sly Minigames''
| 8
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''100!!!''...oh, it's 4 trophies for 4 levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Granted, it's an acclaimed title, but Chris thinks this game is up there among the greatest ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. However, it's worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
| ''God of War''
| 33
| 82%
| Most of the trophies are earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
| 5
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
| 35
| 77%
| A pop music version of ''Guitar Hero''.
|-
| ''The Price is Right''
| 11
| 76%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
| 43
| 72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
| 10
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
| 7
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
| 27
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
| 36
| 62%
| ''Sonic Kart'' couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to ''ModNation''.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
| 31
| 58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|Uno]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|Xbox Live Arcade]] version. Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* <s>[http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]</s> Dead link as of May 2015

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

PlayStation 3

2015-12-29T07:02:20Z

Yolo Ohno: /* Spending history */

[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

{{DeadLinks}}

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. She was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when she still had a few other outlets for entertaining herself outside her home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]] in the spring of 2008, although that signal spike might have been augmented as the result of his concurrent "breakup" with Megan Schroeder in a desperate bid salve the emotional loss with virtual toys. Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, she began spending a good deal more money one PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 31 [[March 2014]], Chris has 3,587 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''
|12
|100%
| A fairly short game fighting game that generally be beaten in under 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|[[Chris and Sex|69]]
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu (character)|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
| ''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
| All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
| Furries galore.
|-
| ''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
| 21
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
| 15
| 100%
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but in reality, he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
| 12
| 100%
| [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
| ''Sonic the Hedgehog''
| 12
| 100%
| Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
| [[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
| 13
| 100%
| A Vita tutorial.
|-
| ''Sly Minigames''
| 8
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''100!!!''...oh, it's 4 trophies for 4 levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Granted, it's an acclaimed title, but Chris thinks this game is up there among the greatest ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. However, it's worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
| ''God of War''
| 33
| 82%
| Most of the trophies are earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
| 5
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
| 35
| 77%
| A pop music version of ''Guitar Hero''.
|-
| ''The Price is Right''
| 11
| 76%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
| 43
| 72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
| 10
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
| 7
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
| 27
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
| 36
| 62%
| ''Sonic Kart'' couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to ''ModNation''.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
| 31
| 58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|Uno]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|Xbox Live Arcade]] version. Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* <s>[http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]</s> Dead link as of May 2015

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

PlayStation 3

2015-12-29T07:01:50Z

Yolo Ohno: /* Spending history */

[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

{{DeadLinks}}

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. She was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when she still had a few other outlets for entertaining herself outside her home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]] in the spring of 2008, although that signal spike might have been augmented as the result of his concurrent "breakup" with Megan Schroeder in a desperate bid salve the emotional loss with virtual toys. Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, she began spending a good deal more money one PSN.
to
In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 31 [[March 2014]], Chris has 3,587 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''
|12
|100%
| A fairly short game fighting game that generally be beaten in under 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|[[Chris and Sex|69]]
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu (character)|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
| ''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
| All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
| Furries galore.
|-
| ''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
| 21
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
| 15
| 100%
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but in reality, he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
| 12
| 100%
| [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
| ''Sonic the Hedgehog''
| 12
| 100%
| Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
| [[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
| 13
| 100%
| A Vita tutorial.
|-
| ''Sly Minigames''
| 8
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''100!!!''...oh, it's 4 trophies for 4 levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Granted, it's an acclaimed title, but Chris thinks this game is up there among the greatest ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. However, it's worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
| ''God of War''
| 33
| 82%
| Most of the trophies are earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
| 5
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
| 35
| 77%
| A pop music version of ''Guitar Hero''.
|-
| ''The Price is Right''
| 11
| 76%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
| 43
| 72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
| 10
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
| 7
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
| 27
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
| 36
| 62%
| ''Sonic Kart'' couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to ''ModNation''.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
| 31
| 58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|Uno]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|Xbox Live Arcade]] version. Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* <s>[http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]</s> Dead link as of May 2015

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

PlayStation 3

2015-12-29T06:54:01Z

Yolo Ohno: Fixed incoherent paragraph. Not sure about the pronoun change.

[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

{{DeadLinks}}

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. She was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when she still had a few other outlets for entertaining herself outside her home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]] in the spring of 2008, although that signal spike might be augmented from a stress binge to salve the hurt from her concurrent "breakup" with Megan Schroeder. Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, she began spending a good deal more money on the PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 31 [[March 2014]], Chris has 3,587 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''
|12
|100%
| A fairly short game fighting game that generally be beaten in under 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|[[Chris and Sex|69]]
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu (character)|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
| ''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
| All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
| Furries galore.
|-
| ''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
| 21
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
| 15
| 100%
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but in reality, he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
| 12
| 100%
| [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
| ''Sonic the Hedgehog''
| 12
| 100%
| Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
| [[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
| 13
| 100%
| A Vita tutorial.
|-
| ''Sly Minigames''
| 8
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''100!!!''...oh, it's 4 trophies for 4 levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Granted, it's an acclaimed title, but Chris thinks this game is up there among the greatest ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. However, it's worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
| ''God of War''
| 33
| 82%
| Most of the trophies are earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
| 5
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
| 35
| 77%
| A pop music version of ''Guitar Hero''.
|-
| ''The Price is Right''
| 11
| 76%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
| 43
| 72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
| 10
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
| 7
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
| 27
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
| 36
| 62%
| ''Sonic Kart'' couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to ''ModNation''.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
| 31
| 58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|Uno]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|Xbox Live Arcade]] version. Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* <s>[http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]</s> Dead link as of May 2015

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Chris and his ego

2015-12-29T06:31:52Z

Yolo Ohno: Missing indefinite article (Should this be the definite article?)

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to being the social outcast we all know and hate thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing Soiled Underpants Saga is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{Clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and his ego

2015-12-29T06:29:05Z

Yolo Ohno: No spaces for m-dashes.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]]}}

[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]

'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris]]'s flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home).]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}

Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}

Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a 30-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and money}}
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for admiration]], and [[Chris and remorse|lack of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[CADD|achievements]] and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of unlimited success, power, brilliance, [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] favorable treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Persecution complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, walking through the shadow of the valley of death.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to being the social outcast we all know and hate thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===
{{Main|Naïve}}

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising china or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}

Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that,to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.

===Paranoia===
One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his Love Quest. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of Facebook screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. The ongoing Soiled Underpants Saga is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris' experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brushfire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.

===Fishing for sympathy===
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his being autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
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==References==
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{{Chris and}}