CWCki - User contributions [en]

CWCki:Technical

2010-10-06T20:26:25Z

Yossarian:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

For discussion of errors, extensions, and technical stuff in general(yes we know about the 500 errors).

== upgraded to 1.16.0 ==

seems like all the obvious stuff is fixed but if there are any missing extensions you need please let me know --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 02:39, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

==Audio hosting==
Seeing as how some of the audio recordings that we link to on some pages have been removed from their file hosting sites, I was thinking maybe instead of having people download audio we simply host it here CWCiki side. An example of what I am talking about can be found here.[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FDR_speech.ogg] [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 10:14, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
: This could be doable, but needs server configuration. From user's point of view, it could be a simple matter of converting the files to Ogg Vorbis and uploading them here. Currently, the upload page doesn't accept .ogg files, and files are limited to 7 MB. In order to make the in-browser support work, we'd need the [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:OggHandler OggHandler extension] (which needs ffmpeg and other leet stuff installed on the server as well). --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 03:12, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

==Apache Module versus CGI==
I've been a long time lurker, but the prevalence of 500 Internal Server Errors has prompted me to register an account. I've lurked and searched the CWCki to see if this has been suggested, but I didn't see anyone bring up this potential solution. So I apologize if I'm offering a redundant suggestion. These error messages seem to suggest to me that the Wiki software is running on CGI. A lot of CGI-related performance issues can be remedied by running PHP via an Apache module, rather than as a CGI binary. The PHP CGI binary is invoked, processes a script, and then shuts down every time a page is requested. Apache modules are continuous, thread safe processes (thread safety can be build dependent). I'm not sure if this hosting provider offers such a configuration option, but it may be worth looking into one that does if this becomes an increasingly prominent issue. FastCGI may be a worthwhile alternative to the current configuration if an Apache module is not an option because of some inherent limitations with Wiki software. [[User:Sheex|Sheex]] 10:28, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== 500 internal server error poll ==
Please note what page you received it on and what your action was (view/edit/etc...). [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 14:25, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*Main Page/View - It happens sometimes when I try going here on a new window. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 18:14, 5 October 2010 (EST)
:*I almost always get it when saving an edit, sometimes when I log in. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 17:10, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::*Same here.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 18:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::*That's actually been happening to me quite a bit, recently. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 21:23, 5 October 2010 (EST)
::::Extra processing and memory is used while saving a page, and since lack of memory is the likely cause of the error - it's unsurprising that you encounter it when doing the above. Implementing global caching would help alleviate server load, as currently every page request from logged in users is generating server processing. Longer pages have more chance of generating the error - as they are larger, and take up more memory while being processed. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:30, 5 October 2010 (PDT)

== Is the CWCki faster now? ==
Is it? Do you get the 500 internal server error still? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:39, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*It's better. Though it still takes a little while to load longer pages after editing, and I've only experienced one error message while searching for some video. It's a good start, though. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 00:02, 6 October 2010 (EST)
::Yes it's very fast when not doing things like editing/saving pages (as to be expected). The changes made should hopefully mean fewer errors for everyone, and it seems like a much faster article-browsing experience too. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:18, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*I still get a lot of 500 Internal Server Errors. Not as many as before but it still happens a noticeable amount. It's as fast as it was before; I don't see any difference. [[User:Yossarian|Yossarian]] 13:26, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

User:Yossarian

2010-10-06T20:19:27Z

Yossarian:

KCWC broadcast

2010-10-06T20:17:59Z

Yossarian: Fixed some things and tried to transcribe some inaudible parts.

[[File:Damntrolls.png|thumb|350px|[[Cwcville#Government_and_politics|Chris owns the world, baby.]]]]

'''KCWC broadcast''' is a taped "broadcast" of [[KCWC]] that was included as the soundtrack for the slideshow portion of the "[[DVD|Yep, I'm on TV :)]]" DVD.

This "broadcast" is notable of Chris's childlike behavior, with [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] "calling in" to request a song for [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] 71st birthday and humoring Chris like a six year old, as well as the fact that many of the songs he plays are from [[video games]]. Though many video games do have catchy themes, [[Chris|no one in their right mind]] would listen to them over the radio.

Besides the crappy video game music, the only other songs Chris plays are old songs that nobody from his generation onwards has probably ever heard of, all from the 1900s to 1950s by artists such as [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]] and [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]]. We can probably thank [[Robert Franklin Chandler|Bob]] for [[Chris_and_music#Musical_tastes|Chris's musical tastes]].

The broadcast has several special "guests," notably [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|''Alvin and the Chipmunks'']], as well as [[Wikipedia:Myles Standish|Myles Standish]], who, after riding on board [[Daniel Weston|the Mayflower]] to the [[United States of America|new world]], has apparently became a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] fan. Keep in mind, this was made when he was ''sixteen'' years old, in his junior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].

Also, on the DVD cover, Chris incorrectly says that this was taped in August [[1997]]. This is impossible, as there is a commercial on this tape for Cousin Skeeter, a show on Nickelodeon that premiered in September 1998, and Bob wouldn't turn 71 until this month, either. It is pretty sad that Chris can't remember when his father's birthday is.

==Audio==
===Part I===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|S-jRds729ZI}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
{{transcription}}
{{stub}}
'''Chris:'''[''whispering''] Quiet, we're on the air.

[''Chris makes some random chiming noises'']

'''Chris:''' [''ba-ba-ba-bum in a singing voice''] ''It's time to open up that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station K-C-W-C! And here is your host, with the most, Christian Chandler!'' [''ba-ba-ba-bum'']

[tape skips between recording]

'''Chris:''' Good morning, [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, and dudes of all ages]]! This is your host Christian Chandler here on everything KCWC. You know I usually wake up
[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|a little cranky]] in the morning when I wake up, 'cause you know it's six o-clock in the morning. But this morning I feel like [[Chris and Ego|I own the world]], I can do anything I want. So this morning we're gonna start us off with a little ditty from ol' [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frankie Sinatra]]. This song is titled [''bad singing voice''], "I Got the World on a Stri-i-ing." [''normal voice''] That's a real good song, y'know? So take it away, Frankie, and get [[Red String of Fate|that string]] wrapped around on your finger, we're also gonna have some rain! [''Chris laughs'']

[tape skips again]

[Frank Sinatra's version of "[[Wikipedia:I've Got the World on a String|I've Got the World on a String]]" plays]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Well, I got more to come along with more tunes and all that, 'cause you're listening to everything KCWC. Before we release the next song, I happen to have a guest star in the studio with me, you wanna know who he is? I'll tell ya, here he is, ol' [[Wikipedia:Chico Marx|Chico Marx]], let's give him a big hand! [''Chris claps as the tape stops'']

[A recording of Chico Marx appearing on radio show ''The Fitch Bandwagon'' plays, after Marx does a comedy bit, Skip Nelson's "Velvet Moon" plays.]

[Tape stops and resumes recording with Chris clapping]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Whattaya say, Chico Marx? How does it feel to be here on station KCWC?

'''Chris:''' [''badly impersonating Chico Marx in a high pitched voice''] Well I must say I feels, it uh-feels to be great here's on this station on the uh-radio. And I really must be going.

'''Chris:''' Oh well, when you gotta go, when you gotta go. Right, Chico?

'''Chris:''' [''in his Chico voice''] That's right, I'll see you later, kids! Bye!

'''Chris:''' O-okay, bye! Well, wasn't he a great guest star folks? But I gotta tell you what now, we had a request for a certain song from a certain movie. Well I'm gonna throw a contest [stutters], now I'm gonna throw a surprise, I'm gonna give away a dinner for two at O'Toole's. If anyone can guess which movie this specific song came from. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Remember that number, and I'll take any caller who will call in. I hope somebody who calls in, will win. Okay, take it away mysterious movie!

[Tape stops again and resumes with "[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] playing. Part one stops in the middle of this song.]

===Part II===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aNSPbPdcWZo}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
[''"[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.'']

'''Chris:''' Wasn't that a beautiful song, folks? Oh yes, that was- that song was "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" from the famous movie "Oklahoma" and we got a winner here, folks! His name is Fredrick C. Wilberg, and he'll be a wi-he'll get that there out to toe-tools. I hope [[Homos|he and his friend enjoys themselves]], but right now we're gonna cut from the music, and go right to the news!

'''Chris:''' So here it is, take it away, news! [''Chris imitates a radio station's news transition jingle with a series of "do do do do"s before switching to what he believed to be a deeper voice''] Good evening! This is Ted Baxter here with the news. First we will go with our [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|local news]]. Here we are at the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario racetrack]] where we just had an accident. Mario and Yoshi went bumper-to-bumper and their tires fell off, but don't worry, nothing much though. [[Chris and reality|They just got-they each just got cut on their left knees]], but don't worry, [[Fail|their mommies are taking care of them]], and now--and now, and the carts are being pulled away into the cart garage and everthing will be okay soon. As a matter of fact, they're gonna be repaired by noon. [''half-assed laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Anyway, here we go to the weather. Take it away, Weatherboy. [''Chris' voice shifts into a higher pitch, possibly an extremely bad New Jersey accent''] Okay! 'ere we go with the weather! We see the ha-with the-with the-with the local weather! It is now 89 degrees and partly cloudy, but tomorrow it's gonna be different. Actually, tonight, it'll be 91 degrees and, uh, there will be no rain. No rain, but it will be perfectly clear, and uh, tomorrow, it will be 91 degrees and, well, perfectly sunny, but we're maybe due for a shower though as a 30% chance. Back to you Ted.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris shifts back into his news caster voice''] Okay Weatherboy, and now we're gonna go to a bank robbery that just happened right now. Take it away Copter 1.

[''He assumes the voice of the fabled Helicopter pilot above the bank robbery scene'']

'''Chris:''' This is Copter 1, reporting live in a chase scene. We're chasing the burglar from the bank-which has escaped from the bank right now with five million dollars. I'm here with the bank manager, and I'm gonna get a word from him-what he thinks about this. Tell me, mister bank manager, what do you think about this?

[''Chris's voice attempts a deep and husky voice, possibly that of a middle-aged man'']

'''Chris:''' I think it is very bad of this man to steal $5 million from my own bank! As a matter of fact, I'm offering a [[Chris and money|$1,000 reward]] to anyone who captures this criminal who's taken my five mills. Why am I not going to give away a $5 million reward you ask? Well, we need the money, daggat's for sure. Heheh. Anyway that's all I have to say. I hope you catch 'em.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' ...And there we have it! Back to you, Ted.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, you keep uh, following that burglar now. By the way, did you get his license number?

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Oh yeah, that's right! His license number is 3C54.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you very much. Okay, and we got also got a sports game to report before we go back to the music. We got the Pittsburgh Pirates- we had the baseball game today here in Chicago, between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Chicago White Sox, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the White Sox with a difference of 3 points. This is unbelievable. 50 to 53. In the Pittsburgh Pirates' favor. Now isn't that a funny thing though. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Okay! Before we go back to the tunes, we're gonna take a little commercial break right now. So and so just relax and everything will be fine.

[''The recording cuts to the audio of a commercial for [[Obesity|Goldfish snack crackers, followed by a Burger King commercial]] for Cousin Skeeter and Allen Strange toys, an advertisement for a Surf 'n' Turf CD/Cassette, a National Geographic commercial, and a Cow and Chicken ad.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, welcome back to the tunes. You're listening to the station everything KCWC, and right now we're gonna play a little something for those who love video games. We're gonna play the Mario Kart 64 theme, and because that theme is a short song, we're also gonna throw in some "Circuit Select" songs. And you know why we're throwing this in? Because Mario Kart 64 is a great game and we happen to like it too. As a matter of fact, we even have it, and we've played it. So take it away, Mario Kart 64! Ha-ha.

[''The recording cuts once again to Mario Kart 64's Circuit Select music, as well as its theme for the next two minutes until it is cut off by the end of part two.'']

===Part III===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tAVkrAdqrYU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
The Mario Kart 64 Circuit Select theme resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EVERYTHING station KCWC. And uh, during that Mario Kart 64 song, we got a request from a little young boy of uh five years old. His name is, uh, Christopher Chandler. He's a first-time caller, but a long-time listener. He put in a request for a theme--for the theme song of a very famous Sonic the Hedgehog game for the Sega Genesis. So I'm gonna throw in another contest. The prize this time is a game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. If anyone call in and guess the name of the game that this song came from--it is in the handsong and it is the theme song of that game. Anyway, if anyone can call in and guess the name of the game, I'll give them the game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC, and I'll take ANY caller who can call--who'll call in and give the right answer. Okay, so take it away, Sonic the Hedgehog, and I hope somebody wins.

[tape stops and leads to the theme song of "Sonic and Knuckles"]

[tape stops and Chris resumes speaking]

'''Chris:''' And you are listening to everything KCWC. And that song was the "Sonic and Knuckles" theme song. And we got a winner here, folks. His name is [[Wikipedia:Myles Standish|Myles Standish]]. And he told me to tell you the he was one of the members of a s-- one of the Sonic the Hedgehog website on the Internet. By the way, speaking of which, I've also wanted to play that Sonic & Knuckles song because I heard that there were a lot of sites on the Web created by lots of Sonic the Hedgehog fans. Anyway, Myles Standish has won that uh game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course, so he and a friend of his can enjoy themselves for a game at Putt-Putt Golf Course. Anyway, uh, nuh, anyway, enough of the video games. I'm gonna play...I'm gonna nuh, the next selection that I'm gonna play is, uh another Frank Sinatra number called Love and Marriage. And boy, that is an institute you can't disparage. Oh by the way, just to let you know, it's 9:30 A.M. Now I wanted to mention that. Anyway, uh, take it away, Frankie!

[tape stops and "Love and Marriage" by Frank Sinatra plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

'''Chris:''' You are listening to station KCWC. Everything! And wasn't that a great song, folks? Now right now, we're gonna play another song, except this time we're gonna play a little [[Christmas]] song. As a matter of fact, I have a guest star, as a matter of fact, three guest stars here who happen to have sang that song. Can you guess who they are? [pause] I'll tell you then! It's Alvin and the Chipmunks. Let's give 'em a big hand!

[Chris claps]

'''Chris as one of the chipmunks: '''[indistinct]

'''Chris as another chipmunk: ''' You said it!

'''Chris as the third chipmunk: ''' We're going [[Tobacky|smoking]]!

'''Chris: ''' Say, Alvin, how does it feel to be at station KCWC?

'''Chris trying to sound like Alvin: ''' Yeah, it's great, man!

'''Chris: ''' Well, you'd better plug your ears, then, because we're about to play...

[Chris's voice gets cut off as part three ends]

===Part IV===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sNKPhZ2ea_w}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris: ''' ...a [[Christmas]] song! I gonna play... ''[Sings in a sing-song voice]'' Over the river and through the woods! You like... ya liked that song, didn't cha?

'''Chris trying to sound like Simon: ''': Yeaaah, I liked it, but I don't think Alvin does cause it didn't feature his hula hoop! ''[Annoying laugh]'' Ah ah ah ahh!

'''Chris: ''' Heh heh heh, that's funny, Simon. Well, take it away, ya chipmunks, and ''[indistinct]'' and go to ya grandmudda hou- grandma's house! Ah ah ah!

[tape stops and a chipmunk rendition of "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv4BBori8Ac| Over The River And Through The Woods]" plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

'''Chris: ''' Alright, you're listening to everything KCWC. And wasn't those chip- wasn't those chipmunks great? But they had to leave so soon. Oh well, nobody's perfect. Right away, don't forget last summer we got a request from a me- member of the Sonic the Hedg- from one of the Sonic the Hedgehog websites. Her name was Lezzie Lylelesh, [Not sure about this name, someone help?] and she requested that we play the Sonic CD song, "Sonic Boom." And she also requested that we play the long version! So that's what we'll give her, cause we happen to have the copy of the Sega CD game right here. So take it away, Sonic, and give us that booming song! Ah ah!

[tape stops and "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbyWwy0YOmU| Sonic Boom]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Alright ya'll listenin to the station everything KCWC, and wasn't that a great song, folks? Get down, man! Heh heh! Well, right now, we're gonna play for you: a Disney song! It happens to be from one of my favorite movies, ''[spoken quickly]'' as you might have guessed, one of the most popular movies, [[Cole_Smithey#Internet_infamy|Toy Story]]! Yeah, that's right, it's that famous song, "You've Got A Friend In Me." And boy, wasn't that Buzz Lightyear funny, I mean,

'''Chris trying to sound like Buzz Lightyear: ''' To infinity and beyond!

'''Chris: ''' Ah, ah, well, anyway, take it away, Buzz and [[Duck|Woody]], with that famous song of yours, ah ah!

[tape stops and "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcXURC_nNhc| You've Got A Friend In Me]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Now wasn't that a great Disney song, folks? Well, I thought it was great too. But right now we're gonna- take a break from the tunes and take a little commercial break. But first, a word from our sponsor, the [[I Love Lucy|"I Love Lucy" show]]!

'''Chris trying to sound like Lucy:''' ''Hello friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run-down, listless? [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|Do you poop out at parties?]] Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin. Yes, Vitameatavegamin contains Vitamins Meat Vegetables and Minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegamin, you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a great big tablespoonful after every meal. Mmmmmmm..... It's so tasty, too! Mmm! Tastes just like candy! So why don't you join all the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

I love Lucy and she loves me. We're as happy as two can be. Sometimes we quarrel but then... ha ha ha How we love making up again. Lucy kisses like no one can. She's my Mrs. and I'm her man. Life is heaven you see, Cause I love Lucy, and I love Lucy, and Lucy loves me!!''

'''Chris: ''' Hey there, all you [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, dudes of all ages]]! Well, you're listening to the everything KCWC, this is your host, Christian Chandler, and, uh, before we, emm, announce the next song, we're gonna give you our joke of the day! And this joke comes from, ehh, Christopher Chandler from [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]! And the joke goes like this.

'''Chris as his younger self:''' Why is six afraid of se-

[Chris gets cut off mid-joke as part four ends]

===Part V===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part V
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Sw3gT38hJNA}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris as his younger self:''' ''[resumes mid-joke from part four into part five.]'' -ven. 'Cuz seven, eight nine!

'''Chris:''' ''[Chris laughs]'' Now that's a pretty funny one! Thank you Christopher Chandler. Anyway, our next song is another Disney song and it is entitled ''[Chris badly sings]'' "Ooh, oopey doo, oobey doo, I wanna be like yo-hoo-hou, wapey do-ee do wah!" from the Jungle Book. Yeah, that's right, the Jungle Book. Okay Tink-okay Kemuway take it away. Oh by the way Luey, I don't want to be like you! ''[Chris laughs]''

''[Tape cuts out in the middle of the recording then resumes]''

''["I Wan'na Be Like You (The Monkey Song)" sung by Louis Prima for the Disney film "The Jungle Book" plays]''

''[Tape cuts back out and in again]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'ery thing KCWC. And it is now one-thirty in the afternoon and we're going to-- ''[Chris cuts himself off with vocalized phone rings]'' Uh-oh, gotta call on line one. ''[Bloops and Chris pretends to answer the phone]'' 'Allo! It's your time, what's your rhyme!

'''Barbara Chandler:''' Hello! My name is Barbara Chandler and I'm calling to request a song for my husband for his birthday -- ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' His name is Bob Chandler and he's 71 years old today. ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'

'''Barbara:''' ''[In a very-mildly agitated tone]'' and the song I would like to request is "A Bushel and a Peck". ''[Chris interrupts for a third time.]''

'''Chris:''' A bushel on a peck, an' a hug aroun'da neck for a 71 year old man. ''[light laugh]''

'''Barbara:''' Ah think so. Thank you very much.

'''Chris:''' ''[Quickly]'' Okay bye.

'''Barbara:''' Bye.

'''Chris:''' Ya heard it righ' here folks a-a request for birfday boy here. So a Happy Birthday goes out to Robert Chandler. And we will p'say "A Bushel and a Peck" from Guys and Dolls.

''[Tape cuts out, then begins playing "A Bushel and a Peck" from Guys and Dolls]''

''[Tape cuts back in]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'erything KCWC. And right now we're gonna go down to the top tenns-- songs. Of them all. Cuz I gotta start up with um'uh--nuh we're gonna start um' right now.

Number Ten is-- uh-- "Go the Distance" from Hercules. Number Nine is uh-- "It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas" from- The Chipmunks. Number Eight is uh- "The Results Theme" from Mario Kart 64. Number Seven is "Saddle Up" is from Virtual Sonic. Number Five is, uh-- uh-- the uh-Opening theme from Starfox 64. And Number Three is the uh ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog CD| The Palmtreee Panic]]'' background song from the Sonic's CD. And Number Two is "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story. And the number one hit song which we're gon'play up next-- uh-- "What's More American" sung by Bing Crosby.

Take it away Bing!

''[Tape cuts out at the end of part Five]''

===Part VI===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VI
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mHRCvY9GjhU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''There's a long silence until 00:20 when "What's More American" resumes.'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC. And right now it is 3 o'clock and we're gonna take a break from the music and get right back to you with the news. Okay, Ted newcaster, take it away!

[''Chris lowers his voice and somehow sounds even more retarded than usual'']

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you, Mr. Chandler! Well first of we're gonna go back to the robbery that's in-- that's in-- still in progress. Come in copter one.

[''Chris makes noises I presume to be helicopter noises and does the voice for copter one'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Here I am in copter one, folks. Again with the bank manager and we're still chasing the robber. And he's on his-- he's nearing his hide-out. Okay, here he is parking his car. Getting out of the car with the five million dollars in his suitcase. [inaudible] And luckily I have a police escort with me so we're gonna land now and catch the burglar. Goin' on down now!

[''Chris makes more helicopter noises'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, here I am now at the place I'm go in and capture that burglar. Okay, lets go!

[''Chris puts on a deeper, more authoritative voice, presumably pretending to be a policeman'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Okay, Robber! You got five seconds to get outta there with the five million dollars or we gonna bust on in and get it ourselves. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1. Okay men, send them in.

[''Chris seems to fart'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Alright, we got ya surrounded! Come out with your hands up!

[''Chris makes strange high-pitched noises'']

'''Chris as robber:''' Okay, okay! I'm out, please don't shoot! Don't shoot! Dont't shoot! I give up! I give up! I give up! Here's the five million dollars. I give up! I give up! Please take me in! Take me in! I'll never commit a crime anymore.

'''Chris as policeman:''' Good job, men! Listen, five million dollars gets a thousand dollar reward. Donate it to the Richmond station. Okay, c'mon men, lets get outta here!

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' And there you have it. We just had the capture of the burglar and the retrieving of the five million dollars. So tell me, Mr. bank manager, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as the bank manager:''' Well, all I have to say is that I [inaudible]. He sang like a true coward. So, and he's gonna-- he also face going to jail so he might give up the life of crime and I won't have any more money stolen. That's all I have to say.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, you heard right here live on station KCWC. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you-- thank you, copter one. Okay, right now we're gonna go back to the weather. Weatherboy...

'''Chris as Weatherboy:''' [clears throat] Eh, yes, and right now it is-- right now it is 91 degrees and now it's mostly cloudy. There's a little sunshine right there, but we don't have any rain coming. No, sir! Right now they say it's only a 20% chance of rain. But tonight, it'll be perfectly clear and 79 degrees and tomorrow there'll be a slight chance-- there'll be slight chance of rain. 30% chance, to be exact! And that's all I have to say. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, Weatherboy! And right now we're gonna go back to Chicago for another-- for some more sports. We go down the basketball game between the, ah, the, ah, what is it? Oh yeah, the Chicago Bulls and New York Nicks. And the Bulls have won the base-- the basketball game. That's a score of 53 to 50! Anyway, the Bulls won the baseball game. Okay, that's all I have to say about the sports! Now we're gonna take you live to the race track on Mario Kart 64.

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Okay, here we are at the race track and there Yoshi and Mario are fine. And they're wearing these [inaudible] and their karts are out of repair so- and we are about to start a kart race for the flower cup. And we're gonna give full coverage on Mario. Su-- so here we are about to start the race. Lets go live!

[''There is the noise of a Mario Kart 64 race starting up'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Here we are at Toad's Turnpike, and the race is about to start, folks! On your mark, get set, go. And here we go with the race. Keep an eye on Mario, now, cause he's our main man. Mar-- And, ah, he's in third place right now. Ahead of him is Koopa and ahead of Koopa is Peach. Oh, and he makes a splendid right hand turn. Oh, and he give a green shell which he picked up to Koopa. He's closing in on Peach. He's making another turn. Oh, but peach turns ghost. Now Mario picks up another item. He shoots a green shell and gets a ghost. Uh oh! Oh, he got into the green shell he shot and now he see's the other one and he uses a ghost and what does he get? Oh, from that ghost he receives a red shell, and he bounces it off trucks, no problem. He raises his red shell and on a stair way he shoots it, and it won't hit Peach because she ha-- had a banana on her, and Mario has picked up another red shell. He's raised it and he shoots it. Is it gonna hit Peach? I don't know, folks. It knocks Peach against a wall. Mario picks up... Oh man, somebody has shot a lightning bolt. It's Luigi! Oh man, Mario's on a dirt place. Oh, and Mario goes back to full size and so has everybody else. Now with only two shells, he makes another turn. On turn, he picks up another item. He shoots, and picks up a mushroom! And is on his final green shell he had to use it because Koopa had his coming. So, Mario uses the final green shell. Uh oh! Oh, [inaudible] he uses a mushroom and
he got plenty of mystery items, and he's still in second place, folks. Peach is way ahead. [inaudible] make first place but lets keep an eye on him, anyway. He's got a mystery box, a decoy box. And he puts it in-- he lets it go. And he get another item, it's a red shell! I don't think it'll make Peach but he goes on ahead and shoots it, and he hits a banana peel. Oh, and he goes into a major peel out. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the best races I ever seen in my life. One of the most exciting, too. Okay, and Mario makes another turn. He picks up another item. It's a lightning bolt! How lucky is that? And everybody has gotten shrunk except for Mario. And Mario hits a banana peel but he doesn't slip. He must have hit the break. And now he picks up a set of green sh-- set of three green shells. Mario passes a couple of trucks. Now, he's making another turn. He almost slipped on a banana peel but the-- one of his green shells took the hit for him. This is the third lap, folks. And he's almost towards the finish line. Oh, and he goes between a [inaudible] and a truck magnificently. And he passes the finish line with second place. And first place is Peach, Mario is followed by Koopa and Koopa is followed by Donkey Kong and the rest are in the last four positions. We take you now to the results. Mario is in second place with six. Peach is in first with nine. Koopa at-- with three. And Donkey Kong with with one. And the rest have zero. And now we go to the next race, in Frappe Snowland, and Mario in position in second place. On your mark, get set. Oh, and Mario takes a rocket boost to start as he's tring to go to his right. He picks up...

[Chris gets cut off mid-sentence as part six ends]

===Part VII===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I7RFF2spayw}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''Mario Kart commentating continues from last video'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' ... an item. It's a banana peel, and he is in first place. How will he use his banana peel? Just right at the turn. Now he's going over the hill. Oh, and it looks like he hit somebody. I'm not sure who it was, but he hit somebody. Oh, and he picks up a green shell, he uses it, it hits Peach. Peach is still in second place, though, but, uh, Mario is still is first. He's way ahead by some. Oh, and Mario picks up a red shell. Don't think there'll be a need for that, but he's got one. And Peach is closing in on him. He crosses the bridge. He's on his second lap! He starts the second lap, folks. He gets-- he picks up another item. He lets go of-- he releases his red shell, and he picks up a banana line-up. Oh, and Peach has passed him. Now Mario's in second. He throws the banana peel and Ma-- and Peach slips. And he's still got the bana-- got one banana peel left. And he picks up another item. It's a single banana. How's he uses it? Simple! He uses it in the-- in the lot of mystery boxes. And he picks up a single mushroom as his item. How will he use it? He's keeping it. Lets see what happens, though. He makes another turn, on the curbs. He makes another-- other turns. He's really keeping that mushroom, though. Not using it. He's still making his other turns. He's going over the hill. He still hasn't used his mushroom, yet. Now he goes through the field of snowmen. Now he makes another turn. Oh, and he uses that mushroom to go over that snail hill for a short-cut. Now-- now he picks up another item. It's a single banana peel. And he makes another turn. Oh, but hit the wall before he can make his turn. He's lost the banana. And he crosses the bridge. And he wins in first place! That was a magnificent race, folks. Mario in first place, followed by Donkey Kong, the Koopa, then Yoshi and the rest on the last four positions. Lets go live to the results. Mario's in the lead with fifteen points. Peach is in second with nine. Donkey Kong with seven. Koopa with six. And Yoshi probaby got some points. He picked up one point and is in fith place. The rest have zero. Now lets go live to the next race. Which is Chocolate Mountain! And Mario's in position. Ready! Set! Go! Oh, and Mario picks up another rocket boost at start. And he gets to another turn. He picks up an item. It's a single mushroom. Might as well gonna save that one for later. Now he's making another turn on the wide turn. He does it successfully. He goes through the boxes. And he still hasn't u-- oh, and he hits something. He hits a hill. And, uh, Toad and Donkey Kong have past him, because he was probably thinking about something else. But right now Mario is back and he picks up three green shells. And he uses one on Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong gets Toad in a chain reaction. Now mario is still in first place. He's still got... [inaudible]... closing in on him. He shoots one green shell to pick up an item, and it's a green she-- it's another green shell. And he uses it that third green shell on Koopa. And he pulls out his new green shell. What's he gonna do with it? He shoots it behind him. And he picks up another green shell from the other item boxes. He shoots that behind him. Now he has no items. And Donkey Kong is closing in on him. But it looks like somebody [inaudible] but I dont think it was Donkey Kong. Now new item pick up. It's a red shell. And he uses immediately and hits... uh-oh, a koopa has hit Mario. He's fallen behind. He's in fourth place. No wait, now he's in third. He picks up three mushrooms. He uses them. And uses the third one to go ahead of Toad aaaand Koopa and he's out way in the lead. And Donkey Kong is somewhere 'round the hill. And Mario picks up a mushroom, now he's in second place. Now he's started using his unlimited mushroom. He makes a turn. He's still in second. He uses his mushroom. Oh, and there's Koopa not far ahead. But I'll take Mario and make it first place. Donkey Kong second and Mario makes third place. Ladies and gentlemen, was a magnificent racde, if I do say so myself. Koopa won, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Mario, followed by Toad. I'll take you live to the results. Mario's still in first place with eighteen. Koopa with fifteen. Donkey Kong with thirteen. Peach with nine. And Yoshi and Toad tied in fifth place with one. The rest have zero. Now we take you live to the next race, in the Mario Raceway. This is the final race, folks! Mario's in positions at third place. On your mark! Get set! Go! And Mario takes another rocket boost at start and he hops over Koopa. Now he picks up an item. It's a decoy mystery box. And he drops it. He make another turn. He goes around that mushroom. He picks up another item. It's a green shell, and almost straight away he shoots it behind him, but it hits nobody. Now he making his auto-turn. And he goes across the sand using another turn. And Koopa is directly behind him. But Mario is still in first place. Uh oh, he hit the grass. And Ma-- and Koopa [inaudible] but he didn't pass. Mario picked up a green shell. Uh oh, Koopa's passed him. But Mario shoots his green shell and timed it right, hit Koopa. Now Peach is in second but Mario is still first. And mario picked up... five banana peel and he uses them all straight away. And now he's taking a sneaky short-cut again usaing his auto-turn. He's way, way ahead, folks. And now he's in for the final lap. He picks up another item. And it is another green shell. He shoots it behind him. He's making his auto-turns. He's going around the mushroom. He making an auto-turn. And he picks up a mushroo-- a single mushroom. I notice how he use that to hit the grass and sandy short-cut. That's a long short-cut, folks. And now Mario's passing through a tunnel. Uh oh, He makes and wrong turn and goes the wrong way. But now he's still in first place and passes finish line. Wins with first place. Ladies and gentlemen, that was a magificent race. Mario won in first, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Koopa and followed by Peach and the rest are in the last places. Lets go live to the results. Mario's won with 27 points, followed by Donkey Kong with nineteen and I didn't get to see the rest. Right, now here we are at the trophy ceremony live at Peach's castle. Let's go live. Here comes Mario as the first place winner. And here comes Donkey Kong in the third place mount. And Koopa coming up in the secon-- uh here's come Koopa coming in the third place mount. I dont know. Lets see how it comes up, though. Mario get the win with first place, Donkey Kong with second an Koopa with third. And here comes the floating glow fish. He's got the trophy for Mario and the trophy is GOLD! This was a bunch of magnificent races, folks. Tell me Mario, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as Mario:''' [''his voices starts out very high pitch then lowers rather drastically''] Well, all I have to say it feel go to be a winner. I always feel like a real winner. I just need more winning, that's all. [inaudible] Thank you very much! Back to you!

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Alright! Now that's enough for the races. Back to you Ted Baster!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you! Now that's it for the Mario Kart races. Now we go back to the music. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Alright! Thank you, Ted Baster! As you know it was three o'clock before the news started but right now, with the, since we were just mplayingMario Kart 64, we are now going live with Starfox music. We gonna play the, ah, famous song from that game, Titania and Macbeth. Take it away, Fox McCloud.

[''Tape stop and resumes with Starfox 64 - Titania and Macbeth'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everyth--

[''Chris is cut off in the middle of a word'']

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Animal Crossing Documentary

2010-03-24T00:15:01Z

Yossarian: transcribed til 16:20

[[Chris]]’s hour-long "'''''[[Animal Crossing]]'' Documentary'''" offers tours of two different towns saved on two different memory cards. The town of [[Cwcville]] is home to [[Sonichu]], who wears a Sonichu outfit. The town of Cwc City is home to [[Crystal]], who wears a [[Rosechu]] outfit.

==Watch==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = Animal Crossing Documentary
| image = {{#ev:googlevideo|-4734277862198455846}}
| Stardate = 22nd [[November 2003]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games}}[[Video games]]; {{Website}}Website
| Other = {{Direct Feed}}Machinima; {{Leaked}}[[DVD|Leaked]]
| previous = [[The City of Cwicville Tour!#Watch|The City of Cwicville Tour]]
| next = [[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special#Part 1|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
}}</center>

===Outline===

{| class="wikitable"
| 00:01-01:24 || Introduction
|-
| 01:25-19:39 || Tour of Cwcville (part 1 of 2)
|-
| 19:40-25:19 || Trip to Cwcville Island
|-
| 25:20-35:24 || Tour of Cwcville (part 2 of 2)
|-
| 35:25-36:44 || Interlude
|-
| 36:45-52:39 || Tour of Cwc City
|-
| 52:40-53:39 || Interlude
|-
| 53:40-55:54 || Conclusion
|}

==Transcription==

'''Introduction'''

[Gamecube startup screen with Chris singing along]

[Nintendo screen with Chris saying "Nintendo"]

[00:24]

Hello Nintendo! Welcome to my Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston chandler. I live in Ruckersville, Virginia and I is [''sic''] 21 years old and I play because I am young at heart. So any way we are going to take a tour of my city...in Animal Crossing.

[''Goes to main menu'']

[00:48]

The city's name is CWCville. See, those are my initials CWC. That's why it is spelled that way.

[''Picking menu options'']

[01:01]

And my character's name is Sonichu. You may remember him from ahh previous letters I have sent to you guys in the past.

[01:10]

[''Game starts to load town'']

Anyway we are going to get set up now. [''Chris starts singing'']

[''Game is done loading'']

We usually do have a good time.

 [1:25] 

So anyway, stepping out is my character [[Sonichu]]. He's wearing the [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] with the character on it. Like I said you might remember his face. And there's his actual face.

[''Shows a sign with the face of Sonichu on it'']

You remember the rest of his body you see the whole picture.

And before we get to the daily routines I'm goin' let you...I'm goin' to take you on a tour of my house as well as uh, as well as you know, uh, a daily routine. We'll take a tour of the town, but first the house. You see this logo here, that is the logo to my website on the internet. If you would like to visit, here is the address. I'm going to leave it up for a few seconds.

[''Shows the address to his website for a few seconds'']

 [2:02] 

Alright, that's enough.

Now were gonna take a tour of my house.

Turn on the light so you can see better. This is my first floor obviously. I keep things well organized. I got enough room to walk around in; I can even do a dance, wanna see me do I bit?

[Chris begins to sing]

[[Yellow_Is_A_Mellow_Color|Yellow is a mellow color]] 
Yes it is a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps a lightning 
EEEEEHHHHH mellow color 

[Chris stops singing]

Yeah. Course...a...when I...a... do a dance. I usually like to have my uh...audience.

[Chris puts a wallpaper up on his house, resembling wrestling fans who just witnessed a Stone Cold Stunner.]

Dodedododododoo. But since it's getting close to [[Christmas]], I have the snowflakes on the wall instead. And I keep it in this closet. So anyway here's a fun thing. This snowman he teach me how to play piano. And by the way just to let you know in case...a...you can hear the...a...music in the background.

[Chris appears to be playing [[So_Need_A_Cute_Girl|So Need A Cute Girl]]]

Those are my karaoke numbers that I actually ma...that I actually made up lyrics too, and I have played and uh sang my voice over the originals. So let me give you an example; may I Mister Snowman? "Please go right ahead!" Alright.

[Chris begins to sing again while Sonichu bangs on the piano]

[[Dirty_crapped_briefs|Tell me why]] 
I'm stuck as a 
Virgin with Rage? 
[[Semen#Recycling|Tell me why]] 
I so need a 
Cute Girl my age 
[[Medallions_of_Fail|Tell me why]] 
I never wanna 
Hear you say 
I have a boyfriend! 

[Chris stops singing]

And that was inspired by a [[Love Quest|real thing]]. By the way that's your website...that is your website isn't it? Nintendo.com, it's a nice place to visit; but we cannot live there. Which brings us up to our next subject.

[A calendar of November appears on the screen]

The diary, you guys did a good job of it going back and forth within a 12 month radius. By the way, this is my birthday, right here my actual birthday, I was born in 1982. You guys...in case you want to take a note there. OK, that's long enough. So anyway uh, it does make a...not only does it work for a calendar, but it makes for a good monthly journal. As for a monthly journal entry here in November.

[Chris begins to scroll up and down his journal entry]
Yeah I tried to get a girlfriend because, I don't have a girlfriend. But I have made up a poem, let you guys read it.

My dreams of getting a girlfriend was crushed by the medeling [''sic''] [[Mary_Lee_Walsh|"Mary Lee Walsh."]] 
Christian Chandler. 
November 4, 2003 
Saddest Heart in the World 
Lonesome and sad, lonesome and sad, the "Mastermind" is very bad. In efforts of getting a Boyfriend-Free gal, that female dog took my only idea for a fall. Heart-broken, sad and very lonely, I'll never remove my virginity. And with Backstreet Boys' tune, I sing my lonesome croon: "Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage. Tell me why, I so need a...

All right. Scroll down a little bit as we go along.

...cute girl my age. Tell me why, I ain't ever wanna hear you say 'I have a boyfriend.'" And so, deep in dreary thought, a girl was what I sought. A stitch in time, will never remove my...

It's a very good pro...poem, because I am an artist, as well as a poet. I make a rhyme every time.

...crying rhyme. I may be destined for loneliness forever, fate is to blame...whatever. I conclude this cry, to say that as long as there are no matching girls, my happiness well runs dry.

Anyway that's my poem, but in case...a you didn't notice here. Look right here "Tell me why, I'm stuck as a virgin with rage". I put my song lyric in here because it was inspired; because I do not have a girlfriend. You know why, cause I have a [[Noviophobia|phobia]] that every girl I talk to she already has a boyfriend.

Right. So anyway moving on with the tour of my house. As you can see I've got I'm collecting the NES games. I've got most of them down here, and I've got a couple upstairs. One of em's fake you know which one I'm talking about, does April 1st strike a bell? So my favorite game is right here.

["Would you like to play 
[[Fail|DK Jr MATH?]]"]

I like it because...a it really challenges the mind in the math area and gets your memory fresh there. And by the way notice the two logos here?

[Chris is making a notion towards the GameCube and N64 logos]

It's a good way to welcome the guests, that come into your house. Ol' Nintendo 64 on the left, and GameCube on the right, caught them before an after deal. Oh and look at this, a good little south feng shui here. Of course makes for a good welcome mat. Speaking of feng shui, I've got my red items against the east side. And helps of getting more NES games; specially that Wario's Woods. By the way, how the heck do you get that game anyway? I mean all you tell us do to is to go to Animal Island. And then what the heck do we do? You should have given us more details, back in the previous issue of uh The Crossing Guardian.

Speaking of which I've been a long time subscriber. So therefore I've got all their previous issues. And I time travel back and forth when I start Animal Crossing to collect a few items, but in respect to uh...time traveling back because I missed a few items I made a new character named "Tim Timetale" and uh he time-traveled back and got the remaining items, give them to me, as well as the other character I made up, and uh the uh the other city in Slot B, which uh I'll tell you about that later.

[6:45]

[Character walks up stairs to the second floor of house]

Anyway, we're going upstairs. This is my [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. It's a lot of fun, isn't it, because I like to make things fun since, you know, I'm young at heart. And here's a fun joke. Turn on the TV sit down and watch TV while I wait t-to get on the internet. It's a good way to kill time anyway. Anyway, here's the fake [''brings up caption for the April Fool's NES game, Super Tortimer'']. Sound familiar? Right [''[[sigh|sighs]]'']. Anyway, this is my bed. The harvest bed. Nice choice, isn't it? I'm going to take a quick nap.

[7:17]

[Character lays down on bed while Chris makes snoring noises too close to the microphone]

OK. Nap's over. All right. You want to see my music collection? [''Brings up music menu''] It's all good. I got them all courtesy of K.K. Slider. Well, of course, the first one was a freebie from the e-reader card. "Swipe, Swipe, Swipe". Anyway, here's the fan and the Mario Brothers stuff. Oh, and uh you notice what time it is? It's 1:15. Good time to start. In the afternoon.

[7:48]

[Character walks down stairs to first floor of house]

Anyway, now we're going down to the basement.

[Character walks down stairs to the basement of house]

Let me just turn on the lights. I keep my models down here. It's a nice little aero fa [sic] models, and I leave enough room for me to walk around in. Well. That's a cute joke.

''"Hey. Stop. You're under arrest."'' 
''"What for?"'' 
''"For uh being the black market, you red fox.''" 
''"Ah, geez."'' ''

And I got both houses. Yeah, I scored that high with the HRA. Notice this train? I wonder where it's headed to. It's probably headed over to the memory card in Slot B. I'll tell you about that city later. Anyway. This is where I do my cooking. If uh if you can ever do your cooking in Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube. I have that DVD. And this is the fridge. I could store my food in there, but I can't. What? Does it have a padlock on it or something? Oh, look. Here's my phone. Let's make a phone call. [''Pulls up phone menu, calling the Dial-a-Psychic''] Hello? Thank you. Good advice. Hey. Let's have a seat on this thing. I like this thing. Listen to this. [''Character sits on the couch and it makes a fart noise'']. Let me do that again. [''Character again jumps on the couch as it makes a fart noise''] One more time. [''Character again jumps on couch with predictable results''] OK. That's enough. Too much fun and [[Lie|you'll die laughing]].

[9:04]

[Character walks up stairs to first floor of house]

So anyway. That's my house. Let me just turn off the lights before I leave.

[Character walks out the front door of house]

Alright, now where going to go through my daily routines. As well as a tour of the town.

[Pause menu pops up]

You notice I've got an empty inventory. And by the way, here's a good rule of thumb. Keeping my shovel, net, pole, axe, and letters here on the bottom row. You know why? I'll tell you bout that when we get to the next shop. Anyway, I usually check my mail; what do you know I got three presents. Lets see what this one is though. [[Bob]].

How ARE you, Sonichu? 
 
Well now, I bet your bottom Bell you didn't expect me to cut out and split town, huh? Nope, I shocked the world! I'm turning over a new leaf- see you on the flip side!
 
Laters, Bob

Oh I guess he moved out, oh well.

[Sonichu proceeds to throw out poor Bob's letter. Then collect his gift from the remaining]

Anyway, lets see what we got from the uh, probably from the museum; because I did up those fossils and uh...I sell them. Makes a nice profit.

[Sonichu throws away all three letters]

I just quickly uh read through them and then throw them away. You know like...junk mail! You could also say pop-ups if they had "x's" on em.

[Sonichu begins to open his gifts]

See what we got here, A dinosaur track, a Tricera tail, and a dinosaur egg. Well that'll make a nice profit. By the way, in case you missed it the first time I'll put it up again.

[Once again shows the address to his website]

Ok you got it, alright now. Before we head to Nook's shop which will be the last stop on the tour; we go- we're gonna take the rest of the tour here. Alright lets see. Well this is the train station. But I travel to the other city which I'll tell you about now. The name of the city is CWCcity. Spelled C-W-C-c-i-t-y, we'll visit there latter, but not by train of course. It'll be a hou-It'll be a run by the uh character named [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]], C-r-y-s-t-a-l, when we get there. All right. Oh, look at this, a hole in the ground.

[opens the menu to equip his golden shovel€]

Yeah, you see, sometimes there's an item in CWCcity. I don't have it here in CWCville because I have CWCville a lot longer than CWCcity. I bring stuff from CWCcity over here.

[he digs up the buried item - it's a folding chair]

'Cause obviously I did not collect this one yet. I got good memory.

[Sonichu screws up and digs another hole; he cleans both of them up]

Yeah, and also I got a good taste for music because I grew up on music. So anyway let's move on with- oh, you notice this [a golden statue of Sonichu]? You know why this is here?

[This statue was erected
in honor of Sonichu's
full loan repayment!]

I paid my debt. And this is Sonichu's mug again, right next to the master.

[Sonichu runs past a sign reading "H.F.A." with two almost invisible red eyes]

Oh, look at this. H.F.A. And very mean eyes. Must mean something bad. ...I know what it means. I'll tell you about it at the end of the documentary here. Uh, the city of CWCville and CWCcity, or otherwise all the deal [?] in Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube, in a nutshell.

[Sonichu enters the acre with the post office on it]

So anyway, here's the post office, do my mailing and such and the e-reader swipes. By the way there's a good way to profit from the e-reader, I'll tell you about it in CWCcity.

[Sonichu comes across a shining ring in the ground]

Oh, what do you know! A money spot. I'll just dig up the thousand bells.

[Sonichu pulls a shovel out of his inventory and digs up the money sack]

Yep, thousand bells, just bury that up. Mmm, drag it up there. Use the R button to quickly pick up the items.

[Sonichu enters the acre with the dump in it, he enters it]

Anyway, here's the dump. I come here first, pick up the - whatever items I want everytime I start Animal Crossing. Hmm, got a shirt, what do we have here? A plant. I's have picked up a pothos before so I know it's a plant.

[Sonichu starts wandering into some acres filled with trees]

I don't really use plants in my house you n-n-noticed, essept for that Christmas Tree but that's for, you know, the holidays. Anyway she's around here, I want to show you my favorite character that I kind of got to know from the start.

[Sonichu finds his way into an acre with a house on it]

Oop, she just went in. So let's go say hello.

[Sonichu follows some blue cat into a house and rams into it]

Yeah uhm, uhm, would you come out here please?

[Sonichu walks back into the center of the room and back into the blue cat, he pushes it into a corner]

Mmm... Darnit, I can't see her but anyway uh, I think you recognize her. Oh here we go a little bit. Yeah mint, she's a sweety.

[Sonichu talks to the Mint about some random crap]

She gave me a birthday present on my 21st birthday when I time-traveled back. Talk to me!

[Mint rambles on about how it's cold out and how winter's coming]

[unintelligible], it's November.

[Mint asks Sonichu if he has a heater]

Yeah I got a heater in the basement.

[Mint jokingly mocks him about turning on heaters during November]

[Chris chuckles] Yea.

[Mint says something about how it's going to get colder]

That's right. Well, I'll see you later Minty, you're a sweety.

[Sonichu leaves Mint's house]

Anyway that's uhh all so on the trip. We'll take a look at all the other colorful characters we have around here.

[The town map comes up, different acres are examined]

Also uh everytime I keep track of the-uh map so that I can see if anyone new came in. Oh, we got a new neighbor, Bertha. I haven't noticed her before. So she's obviously new. So anyway uh, let's move on.

[Sonichu start's running through the woods and come's across some kangaroo]

Here's another character I grew up with. Actually she moved in, and lived here most of the time. Marcy. And now she's wearing a Sonichu shirt. Sonichu is very popular in CWCville.

[Sonichu heads south to an acre with some green mouse's house in it]

There's [unintelligible], she just went in.

[Sonichu head's west and finds some giraffe's house]

And there's Elmer. He just went in, he's one of the senior citizens around here too. I say that because he's lived here - by the way our ne- our city pe- fruit is a peach. But I've grown a lot of orange, pears n such.

[14:15]

[Sonichu is heads west and finds a white cat, she says something about how CWCville is amazing]

Oh what do you know, it's that girl from the train.

[He talks to Blanca]

I draw her face every time, but when I'm in a hurry I just color it, the whole thing, and she just looks like a... Blank face. But I gave her a face last time.

[Sonichu starts to head out of the acre but turns around and runs back in]

Oh, there was another character up here on the hill.

[Sonichu heads to a goat's house by a river]

And she just came out, [unintelligible]. What do you know, Elmer's clothes.

[Sonichu runs out of that acre back into the woods]

Anyway, moving on with the tour.

[Sonichu comes to some giant tree with a fountain thing in front of it, Chris mistakes it for a well. Some billboards are to the right of it]

Well, [Chris chortles] good joke. Anyway I also, you know I like to use the billboards, put my signs up. There's my Sonichu site logo, there's Sonichu's mug. I got two here side by side represent the holidy and such. Yea here we got your corn that you got from the previous issue and I drew this leaf.

[It doesn't look like a leaf]

Obviously for Thanksgiving and the harvest festival.

[A blue bear walks into the video]

Oh, look there's Groucho. He's wearin' a Sonichu site shirt. Let's say hello.

[Sonichu starts speaking with Groucho]

Entertain me.

[Groucho bitches about his mom and fruit]

A [unintelligible] huh?

[Groucho offers Sonichu an apple, Sonichu accepts]

I-I'll take one. Yeah, it makes a nice little profit when you talk to them and most of the time it happens from the jobs.

[Sonichu walks east and comes across a green lion's house]

So anyway. Yeah, here's Leopold, he moved in a long time-

[Sonichu makes his way to a green rooster's abode]

Here's Hank, he's one of the senior citizens around here also. [unintelligible]

[Sonichu runs to a teal hippo's house]

Let's go see our new neighbor. Oh, here she is. She must be Bertha. Hello Bertha.

[Sonichu talks to Bertha, Bertha talks about how nice the town is etc. etc..]

It is a nice place. Heh you're scatterbrained. Ok, yeah, well see you around!

[Sonichu heads south towards a museum]

[Left off at 16:20]

{{transcription}}

End of video spoiler: "HFA" stands for "High-Functionally [[Autism]]". Apparently, this is Chris's autistic way of saying "High-''Functioning'' Autism".

==Nintendo Power's Article==

''[[Nintendo Power]]''’s May 2004 article on Chris’s documentary covers only Sonichu’s life in Cwcville. The way that the article speaks of Sonichu’s actions, most casual readers would be led to believe that “Sonichu” is the real name of the person who submitted the documentary.

[[Image:CWCSchuCross.jpg|thumb|center]]

===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

''(Image captions:)''

Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.

He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.

And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.

Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.}}

==PVCC's News Report==

The 26 April 2004 issue of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC's]] school newspaper, ''The Forum'', included a news report on the "accomplishments" of then-student Christian Chandler. The first half of the article discusses Chris's OFFICIAL and ORIGINIAL creation, Sonichu, while the second half covers Chris's Animal Crossing Documentary, going so far as to quote ''[[Nintendo Power]]'''s own coverage. Everyone can draw their conclusions of how slow news day it was at the PVCC by comparing how big the ''Nintendo Power'' article was, and how big this article was.

===Transcript===

[[File:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|center|Meet Sonichu]]

{{quotenews|'''Meet Sonichu''' ''Student featured in "Nintendo Power"''

By Kari Mitchell ''The Forum assistant editor''

Most everyone has a hobby. It may be hard to find free time in between classes, especially with exam week quickly approaching, but PVCC student Christian Chandler, has dedicated many hours to his past time. He is the creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

Like Sonic, Sonichu can run at high speeds. "During Super Sonic's battle against the [[Perfect Chaos Monster|Perfect Chaos monster]] (''Sonic Adventure DX'' for Gamecube), Super Sonic was spat out by the monster, and colldied with a by-standing Pikachu," Chandler explained. According to his story, the power from the Chaos Emeralds transformed Pikachu into Sonichu.

The idea for the character came from a project Chandler was assigned his senior year of high school. He was enrolled in a computer graphics class that required him to design a CD cover. His original idea was to put Sonic and Pikachu on the cover, however, both characters are copyrighted. Instead he decided to combine the characters into something all his own. Thus, on March 17, 2000, Sonichu was born.

Over time, Chandler began to mold and expand the life of Sonichu, giving him stories, homemade trading cards, clay figures, a board game, and a [[Sonichu medallion]] with charms, among other things.

Chandler and the world he created for Sonichu were featured in the May 2004 issue of ''Nintendo Power.'' The place was called Cwcville (The "Cwc" prefix are his initials, Christian Weston Chandler). Nintendo Power was apparently impressed with Chandler's work. "Simply amazing. There's no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville - a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life." The documentary, running about an hour, was taped from the Nintendo Gamecube title, ''Animal Crossing''. He dubbed his voice over the sound through a microphone and audio input in his VCR. In the documentary, Chandler covers "basically how I do things in ''Animal Crossing'' as the boy character, Sonichu, in the city of Cwcville." Some of the tasks include using the journal as a monthly diary, making money, customizing the city, and conversing with another ''Animal Crossing'' city. For now, Sonichu remains a hobby in the future, Chandler would like to see Sonichu and his friends as real Pokémon, even having their own Nintendo Gamecube video game title. "I am not really sure what to do in order to do all that," Chandler said, "but for now, Sonichu and I, Christian C., are in Nintedo Power Magazine!"}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]|nextlink=[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Talk:Cleveland Show Voice Rant

2010-03-23T11:15:09Z

Yossarian:

Transcribing. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 03:32, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
* Transcribed. This was my first transcription, so any pointers would help if I ballsed anything up. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 03:48, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Well, He's back... He certainly held out long, didn't he? [[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 23:39, 22 March 2010 (EST)
* Hypocrisy in action in its finest indeed.--[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 03:50, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
*Wow. And to think I was just about to put up a "Chris off the internet" counter in Da Update. Somehow Chris always manages to disappoint. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 04:43, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

==Food for thought ==
Stolen from family guy and he missed the meaning of it,considering this video is just a rant, a poorly thought rant.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:06, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
* Um, what? That's been a common phrase in the English language for forever. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 04:10, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
** Yarly? i've heard it once only, but hey, if you say so i guess you are right.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:21, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
*** [http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/food_for_thought Yeah, it's a commonly used idiom.] Knowing Chris though, he probably picked it up from Family Guy. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:39, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
*Alright, then we can agree this rant is definetely food for thought.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:42, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

There's something quite surreal about all this. 36 hours ago, Chris made a video with a well scripted idea. It feels like someone guided him in his writings. Now, we got a pathetic rant about the Cleveland show. 
It looks like as if Chris, watching a figure of authority leaving the room, says "Let's do it one last time". I bet someone will be pissed when this video will be found. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:18, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

* Probably his precious Wallflower directing him from behind the scenes. Could Chris ever come close to touching a real China?! ...Nah, because we all know how well he lives up to his promises. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 04:21, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
** I kind of doubt the wallflower would want to get close to chris anymore, it was probably one of the social group he had, let's wait what info can we get about the backgrounds of this.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:24, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
*** Wait, Chris-chan has a social group? --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 04:26, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
****The "Young Adult Social Group" he mentioned in mailbag 46, where he met the wallflower (probably).[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:34, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
*****I am still puzzled (and quite annoyed) about the whole "Y.A.S.G." thing. I dug the whole thing on Google, even shovelling on Wallflower's turf and I have found bloody nothing. Nevertheless, this must be said; Chris got outside support and we don't know the source. This unknown element is a huge piece of his life missing. There's enablers out there and we don't know them. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:56, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
******What if it's just a church group for young adults? It would explain how he somehow met new people without really going out of his "comfort zone". [[User:Yossarian|Yossarian]] 11:15, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

== spioler alart ==
Chris realized that no one he knows outside his mom and dad give a shit about sonichu [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:14, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

== Nice job, Chris. ==
You made it a whole 36 hours without the internet! Congratulations, Chris, congratulations! You really do live up to your promises about .01% of the time, and this wasn't one of those. But why are you watching a show about niggos anyway?! That's not like you, Chris, not like you at all. --[[User:Miss Noel|- Noel Ari Paige]] 04:18, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
* He's got to watch everything by Seth McFarlane--what if Meg becomes 18 in another show?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:40, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
* People who hate blacks can watch stuff that portrays blacks. Why do you think minstrel shows were so popular? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 04:53, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

User:Yossarian

2010-03-20T01:54:44Z

Yossarian: Created page with 'I liek you guys.'

I liek you guys.

Emily Date Conversation Transcript

2010-03-20T01:32:55Z

Yossarian: I transcribed a few more minutes from 38:55-42:04

In [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] went on his first, and only date ever with a [[troll]] called [[Emily]]. For posterity's sake, the event was recorded, and is now presented in text format for your enjoyment, here.

The voices heard in the recording are that of an elite crack team of courageous trolls and trollettes.

==Summary==
*The trolls worry about a possible appearance by [[Snorlax|Barb]], run a mic check.
*Emily talks to Bob, ignores Chris.
*Bob recites his work history, from serving in the army to retirement. Chris talk a grand total of 9 times, gets ignored.
*Bob goes on at length about being retired. Chris tries to interrupt several times, and fails several times.
*Chris reveals his favorite artist is [[Britney Spears]].
*Bob reveals his patchy medical history.
*Finally, Chris gets a whole minute in which to talk. The [[Amnyfest Ring]] makes an appearance.
*Chris asks why UVA doesn't have a [[Sonichu Girls]] chapter.
*Chris brings up his [[Heterochromia|pink-eye]].
*Bob goes back to his health problems.
*Bob and Chris mention their [[Cherokee]] heritage.
*Chris flirts.
*Chris [[fail|fails]] at flirting.
*Chris does the infamous Donald [[Duck]] impression.
*Chris talks about Sailor Moon.
*Emily and Chris leave Bob and go out into the mall.
*Chris brings up winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sonic competition]].
*Emily tries to be discreet about going to the bathroom. Chris announces she's on her period.
*Emily flees.
*The [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle]] Man arrives and saves Emily, whereupon Chris announces "HE KNOWS CLYDE CASH".
*Chris tries to kiss Emily goodbye.
*Emily makes good her escape and goes home with the Pickle Man.

==Cast==

'''Frosty:''' A whiz kid, his high-tech know-how keeps the group online.

'''Camwhore:''' "Emily's friend", her mission is to capture video of the event.

'''Emily:''' Queen of trolls, she risks both life and limb on a plunge into the heart of darkness.

'''Pickle Man:''' Brave and daring hero, he protects Emily from certain peril.

'''Chris:''' Misshapen manchild, his disgusting nature seeps into the very recording of his voice.

'''Bob:''' [[Bob|Robert Chandler]], the proud Internet lumberjack, yet also slave to the manchild.

==Transcript==

Throughout the recording, a mall full of shoppers produces a background din.

===Prelude (00:00 - 03:12)===

'''Frosty:''' Okay… lock it? 
'''Frosty:''' Okay-- 
'''Camwhore:''' Are you wearing a thong? With a-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' That better be fuckin' ''tight''. 
'''Emily:''' It's tight. 
'''Camwhore:''' That may pop out while you're walking around, while you're like-- 
'''Emily:''' I should be like-- 
'''Camwhore:''' Or a robotic vagina. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' Say "It's my vibrator." 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' It's one of those things that you see taped to those-- those hentai-- 
'''Frosty:''' Well, the thing is, Chris-- he [unintelligible (but clearly imitating Chris's voice)] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh! 
'''Emily:''' Okay, if he get's, like, ''way'' too close to me, I'm just gonna be like-- get my chair farther away. 
'''Camwhore:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' I really like your [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughs''] Maybe Barb-- Barbara can come. 
'''Emily:''' Apparently, she doesn't leave the house anymore. 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I'm just [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Frosty:''' There-- there are Barb candidates ''everywhere''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' No, no, no, no, no, no. But-- but in all actuality, there should be no Barb; if there ''is'' Barb, I will shit myself. 
'''Emily:''' If there is Barb, we're-- we're done. 
'''Camwhore:''' We're not showing up. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' "You brought your mommy?" 
'''Emily:''' I should be like, "No – just put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today." 
'''Camwhore:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' That's it. 
'''Camwhore:''' And you can call him and be like "You owe me a ''dire'' apology, and you're the… jack-off--" 
'''Emily:''' No – I'm sure I'm gonna yell at him, and make him ''cry''. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' And I'm gonna be like "Oh – I live in Clyde's playboy mansion now." [''laughs''] 
'''Frosty:''' No – even better! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [aside] I'm waiting. 
'''Camwhore:''' I'm ''part'' of Clyde's playboy mansion. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' I'm the janitor. 
[''all laugh loudly''] 
'''Emily:''' Okay – let's go see if he's there. 
'''Camwhore:''' ''You'' go see if he's there. 
'''Emily:''' ''No!'' 'Cause-- 'cause it's-- 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible (but about "a girl")] 
'''Emily:''' 'Cause I'm gonna make it like an entrance, like… ''"Hiii!"'' 
'''Pickle Man:''' Did he say where [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' No. Like, he wants to be-- he wants to meet in front of Chick-Fil-A, so… 
'''Camwhore:''' Figures! But the ''general'' idea would be you park near where you wanna… go. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' What if that [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [aside] [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' Do you see those pile of balloons right there? Swear to God: it looks like a penis. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' The balloons. Right here. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' It's a fuckin' penis. 
[pause] 
'''Camwhore:''' Nope. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''sighs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [''sighs''] 
[pause] 
'''Camwhore:''' There's that ugly bitch that looks like Hamster Girl… at Starbucks. 
'''Emily:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Camwhore:''' She ''looks'' like Hamster Girl. 
'''Pickle Man:''' ''Which'' one looks like Hamster Girl? 
'''Camwhore:''' Right there. The only one that you can see working? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Oh – over at Starbucks? You should see her with that hair off. 
'''Camwhore:''' No, no, no. She looks like Hamster Girl. [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm telling you: you should see her with that hair off! 
'''Camwhore:''' Oh – she don't have no hair? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Um… 
'''Camwhore:''' Oh – she has a fake-- 
'''Pickle Man:''' She has fake hair, or… she has no hair… or the hair back like this. 
'''Camwhore:''' Well, yeah – I knew that. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' I was gonna say: I don't-- I guess she dyed her hair blond. 'Cause I remember seeing her with some ugly, strange-colored hair.

===Target Acquired (03:13 - 04:43)===

'''Frosty:''' There he is! 
'''Emily:''' [startled] What? 
'''Frosty:''' [unintelligible (but about "a jacket")] 
'''Emily:''' Oh my God! 
'''Emily:''' [jokingly] Eject! Oh my God! 
'''Frosty:''' Is your [inaudible] on? [unintelligible (but clearly about "a jacket" again)] Are you ready? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I'm ready. [''laughs nervously''] This is gonna be my best acting moment ever. 
'''Pickle Man:''' He can't see my face before I suit up. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – go, like, look, 'cause he has to get down first. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Frosty:''' He'll realize later: that's what it was. 
'''Camwhore:''' I don't feel bad. 
'''Emily:''' Okay. 
'''Emily:''' Hopefully, he, like, won't come, like, around and-- [inaudibly interrupted] Huh? I don't have my phone. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Oh my God… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' If this goes all smoothly, I should get, like… 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] Where do I sit… to, like, watch [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Um, there's some ''benches'', like… by the tables. [abruptly] Oh! Oh! Oh, no. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Okay – there's some benches, like, ''nearby''… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? 
'''Emily:''' Um, just sit and watch him [unintelligible] you need to go change or whatever. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. Well, I-- I started the-- I [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. I'll [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''exhales loudly''] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Or just, like… kinda walk around and see if you can… see us.

===The Green Mile (04:44 - 05:19)===

Nothing but Emily's footfalls can be heard as she marches off to meet the manchild.

===Meet the Parent (05:20 - 07:17)===

'''Emily:''' ''Hi!'' 
'''Chris:''' Hello! Emily? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! I'm Emily. So nice to meet you! 
'''Chris:''' Hi, Emily. This is my father, Robert. 
'''Bob:''' Hello. 
'''Emily:''' Hello. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' I've started shopping a little bit. 
'''Chris:''' That's alright. 
'''Bob:''' You're from West Virgina? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… I used to live here for a while, but then, I-- 
'''Chris:''' [abruptly] Hey! 
'''Emily:''' But then, I moved to-- 
'''Chris:''' Cute hat! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I thought you might like it. 
'''Chris:''' [''laughs contentedly''] 
'''Bob:''' You go to school over there? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – University of West Virginia. My friend, uh, wanted to go to school there, and she's my best friend, so I have to… go with her everywhere! [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' That sounds like the best way to do things! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hey, Emily – you mind, uh, a photo of you and me together? 
'''Emily:''' Sure! 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' What are you taking? 
'''Emily:''' I'm doing journalism. 
'''Bob:''' What? 
'''Emily:''' ''Journalism.'' 
'''Bob:''' Journalism? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Ah! You wanna be a writer! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''giggles''] I did a lot-- 
'''Bob:''' He has a… [[Cole Smithey|''half-brother'']] who's-- who lives in New York City… and, uh, does ''freelance'' writing and show reviews and things… for newspapers and magazines. 
'''Emily:''' Is it-- does he love it? 
'''Bob:''' I ''guess''. 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles again''] 
'''Bob:''' I haven't talked to him in years… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I can't this dang camera to work! 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – that's-- I worked at, uh-- I'm an engineer… and engineers never learn how to spell. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' I think very logically, but I-- 
'''Chris:''' Shoot! I got bad batteries in the camera. 
'''Emily:''' [disappointed] Oh… 
'''Bob:''' If I would-- if I would ''write'' anything, half the words would be phonetically rather than the way we're… ''supposed'' to do. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' I got along fine… writing stuff… on my ''word'' processor… when I had a ''spell'' checker. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Without that, I'm [unintelligible (but clearly self-deprecating)] [''laughs heartily''] 
'''Emily:''' Did you like doing engineering? 
'''Bob:''' Well… I-- I had a real ''u-''nique situation… 
[pause]

===Bob's Work History (07:18 - 16:58)===

'''Bob:''' Look, uh… I'm-- I'm really old. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Okay – to start with: I'm 81. And, uh, I came along ''before'' transistors. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Not-- not [unintelligible] stuff we have now, but even before ''transistors''… when we had vacuum tubes. 
'''Bob:''' I, uh… got drafted after World War II. That's how old. But, uh… then, they put me in the Signal Corps, and they knew things I didn't know. They taught me how to install valve systems and switchboards and telephone [unintelligible]. So, I found out: yeah – I'm pretty good at that. So, when I got out – 'course that was in 1947 – I found out-- now, I know that we had a deflation on our hands; I didn't know it then. 
'''Bob:''' You couldn't get a job, so, I thought "Well, I got the G.I. Bill. I'll go to school." 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – now, it's really hard to become an engineer. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – now, ya-- I, uh-- 
'''Bob:''' I went to… a state [unintelligible] college to start with, 'cause I had the philosophy that if I went to a big school I'd be just… swallowed up. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I went to a small school and took Pre-Engineering for two years, and that was the best thing ''I'' ever did, 'cause I wound up, uh-- well, I got-- I got through my two years of Pre-Engineering in small classes. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And also, I loved music, and I was in the band and everything. And I got in the symphony orchestra… and learned a lot about music while I was up there. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I went to Auburn, and then [unintelligible] swallowed up! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Then, at that time, Auburn-- which now has what: 30,000 students, or something? Auburn had about 5,000 students. 
'''Bob:''' I got my Engineering degree. And then, when I got out, I said "Well, I'll, uh… I can do anything with relays and telephones and valve systems, and [inaudible]. I'm gonna work for Western Electric." 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' That seems logical, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' [suddenly offended somehow] Hey! 
'''Bob:''' Because they make, uh-- 
'''Chris:''' You-- no – you listen to my father… because he's somethin'! Because I get some of my intelligence from ''him''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Especially my ''technological'' intelligence. 
'''Bob:''' But anyway, I, uh-- I went to work for them for 40 years, and, uh… at that point in time… 
'''Bob:''' Uh, this is even ''before'' the Atlas missile… the ICBM. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' ''Before'' the Korean War… and, uh-- but, I-- I found out they were building ''radar'' systems. Well, that was fine, but also, they had lots of government money, so they wanted some automatic test equipment. At that time, ''nothing'' was automatic. They ''had'' none! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, that's what ''I'' went and built. [unintelligible] what I learned in the army, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I started working with the first automatic test equipment that we ever made. And then, GE heard about it… and they came down to [unintelligible] in North Carolina. 
'''Bob:''' And-- so, GE came down; they offered me a job… up in upstate New York. Cold country in Utica. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' And then, uh… I went down to build some automatic test equipment for the ICBM [unintelligible] Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Nobody knows how, 'cause we haven't done it before. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' We'd done some of this automatic test equipment down here. "Why don't you come up there?" "Well, okay!" 
'''Bob:''' So, I went up there for three years and helped develop the, uh, automatic…equipment… for testing the missiles, and… all the guidance systems, and things… in the [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' But-- but I got-- I was a soldier, true and tried, 'cause I was born in Texas and raised in Alabama. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I was in North Carolina first. And then, I hit upstate New York, and I froze to death. [''chuckles''] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah, that must be really different! [''laughs again''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, after three years, I said "I'm going back to somethin' [unintelligible]" Well, GE-- I didn't know it then, but I had a real, natural ''draw''… to the mountains. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And I knew about Roanoke, since I'd been in, uh, [unintelligible] So, I wanted to come back to Roanoke, and GE had plants there. 
'''Bob:''' And… they were there developing-- specializing in industrial automation. Except they didn't done any ''automation'' yet. They were just industrial-controlled. 
'''Bob:''' So, I finagled a transfer back to Roanoke, and… I got there just at the time when they were startin'… to make… any kind of automation controls for engines. 
'''Bob:''' So, I got into what they call "a new business area". And I got to do ''all'' the great things. All my-- I-- I really had it right. I was in the right places at the right time. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Because I am very ''logically-''inclined. 
'''Emily:''' That doesn't really happen nowadays, with the economy… 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – and I-- I'm a logician. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Oddly enough, I never learned how a transistor even works… on records. But I ''use'' 'em all the time. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I use 'em. I'm retired now, a long time. But… when I started out with this group, and the first thing we got into was trying to automate a steel mill… for rolling [unintelligible] steel for your cars. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Well, we did that. And then, I got into… how to roll papers so you could get Kleenex. 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Chris:''' And, of course, y'know, he's the guy that designed the controls for all the plastic water machines, so without him at this time, you couldn't have the plastic for your glasses. 
'''Bob:''' And-- and then-- then, I got into-- I was in the new business area [unintelligible] we could do the first one… and then, somebody else would take over and do the others. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And-- and then, I got into managing a paper mill. But then, I got into the… industry of-- of, uh, like [unintelligible] warehousing, automatic transition, like BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Automatic railroads and all that kind of stuff. Automated a bunch of that. Then, I got into automating a bunch of mine [unintelligible] around the world. 
'''Emily:''' You've been through a lot! 
'''Bob:''' And then, I went to automating tanker ships, so you could run 'em from the bridge and have nobody downstairs. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Just someone else involved-- 
'''Chris:''' Want some water? 
'''Emily:''' No, thank you. 
'''Bob:''' And, uh… then, uh-- then, um, I got into… I developed [unintelligible] I found out that there was very few people like me in the world that had this natural… inclination… for logic. 
'''Bob:''' Anyway, like the ands, and ors, and the what-ifs, and the what-if-nots. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I developed a system… called a [inaudible] that stands [unintelligible]. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Hardware-oriented Y2K pile of junk! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Similar fortune… was in… ''hardware''. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, everybody – I got [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you. 
'''Bob:''' What this enables-- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible (but clearly addressing Emily)] 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] Thank you. 
'''Bob:''' What this enables everybody to do-- and me, too, but I was lazy… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Was to write down on-- on paper – and design on paper from the start – a sequence of parallel lines. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And up to that point, nobody had a way of writin' it down on paper. 
'''Emily:''' [''half-stifles a genuine laugh''] 
'''Bob:''' And they ''still'' don't, really! [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' But that [unintelligible] to mind, horse and buggy. 
'''Bob:''' Elevator-type system that's over a 5,000 ft hole! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Then, I got into, uh, designing… ''scooter'' machines, which fused all the plastic around wires, and things like that… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Scooters. And then, I got into… die-cast machines… and the machines automating ''them''. They make things like carburetors, and cans, and whatever. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I got into ''plastics''… and even the ''plastics'' were [unintelligible] automating their machines. In the process, I ended up with about… ''two'' patents [unintelligible] in ''my'' name that ''they'' own. And all this… dumb stuff. And I saw the first 2-liter Coke bottle… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Come off the line in New England. 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] on it, and all these [unintelligible] ''doors'', and-- and, um… ''shutters'', and stuff like that made out of plastic. All this stuff we got plastic. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] in your frames! 
'''Emily:''' Yep! [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' Including, uh, Tupperware. 
'''Emily:''' Can't… go without Tupperware… 
'''Bob:''' So, then [unintelligible] ''finalized'' and-- and perfected, basically, this [unintelligible] process… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Of design and documentation. [unintelligible] It came time for me to retire. And so, I did! [''chuckles''] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' So, now, I'm ''un-''indated with all this stuff I did, and I don't know whether I did the world a good thing or not. 
'''Emily:''' I think you did! 
'''Bob:''' But I can't-- 
'''Emily:''' You did a lot of things. 
'''Bob:''' I can't spell the word "cat" without a K in it. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, well, y'know, [[Chris and his ego|I'm proud of him anyway]], for his [[fail|accompliment]]-- accom-''plish-''ments. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' He's got a ''half-''brother who [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' ''His'' son. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh…'' okay. 
'''Bob:''' And he's got a-- and I have a daughter, who is his-- his half-sister… that's a… Phi Beta Kappa outta UVA Atlantic. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh…'' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' She's workin' for the federal government, and she's got a PHD now. She's working somewhere for the federal government. All these math people… I dunno.

===Retired Life (16:59 - 24:22)===

'''Emily:''' I'm not very good at math. [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' I'm not that-- 
'''Emily:''' That's why-- 
'''Bob:''' I'm good at ''logic'', but not at math. 
'''Chris:''' But ''I'm'' good at math! 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' He's not good at math when it comes to managing money. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Hey – look! Hey – look it! I have… ''your'' plastic lid on it! 
[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' We've been working with him, now, for 27 years. 
'''Bob:''' It was a challenge. ''Most'' of the time, I've been retired, so I could [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… usually, if you're not very good at math, you're really good at writing, which is why I'm going for journalism. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – well, I, um… I did-- I do alright with writing as long as I got a spell checker. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I just, uh-- I-- but I enjoyed my life. It-- it, uh-- it-- I had… things; I had-- I had opportunities that most people don’t get. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I got to see all this stuff now. 
'''Emily:''' That’s good. I hope that, like, y'know, I can travel around the world and, y'know… write up-- do some journalism, like, overseas. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I’ve been to Australia, and I’ve been to Korea, and I've been to England. 
'''Bob:''' ''Most'' people [unintelligible] to see 'em, but [unintelligible] I've never seen, 'cause they work too good. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, it-- it was interesting. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I wish I could get-- find out what ''Christian's'' really good-- well, he’s pretty good in drawing… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And writing. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – he-- she should know; she-- you’ve-- you should know; you've seen a bunch of [[Chris and art|my artwork]]. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! It’s really good! All my-- all my friends like it, as well. 
'''Bob:''' [[Chris and copyright|He’s ''creative'']]… but he’s, um… I-- I guess you know he’s-- [[autism|he's high-functioning autistic]]… and, um… 
'''Chris''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' At 6, he couldn’t even ''talk''… but he was… ''programming'' [unintelligible] computer: his Commodore computer… 
'''Chris:''' Commodore 64. 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs''] Which was his first little-- 
'''Emily:''' Oh! I don’t know very many-- much about computers! [''giggles''] Sorry! [''giggles some more''] 
'''Bob:''' You’ve probably got a laptop, with a word processor, don't ya? 
'''Emily:''' [reluctantly] Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah – but you-- 
'''Bob:''' Now, we've-- we-- we’ve brought him a long way. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' It’s been interesting. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… well, that’s a little piece for you-- that you can, uh, write about, if you want to. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! That-- that would be interesting. 
'''Chris:''' Anyway, you-- anyway, you came all the way here from, uh, VCU? Or did you make a few stops along the way? 
'''Emily:''' No – I came all the way from VCU. Um… like, a lot of my fr-- uh, friends over at VCU? They're into the whole Sonichu thing, but there’s a lot more… uh, like, I guess "Sonichu Girls"… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Up in, uh, the University of West Virginia. And we… k-- we kinda do, like, a newsletter-type thing every week. 
'''Chris:''' Wow. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' But this is in one of my favorite spots in the country. 
'''Chris:''' [responding belatedly to Emily] I commend you for that. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] little trees on West Avenue. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Have you heard of West Avenue? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' You know where West Avenue is? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – a little bit; I don’t… really go in that area. 
'''Bob:''' They're at the end of VCU, then? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] I don’t know that area very well. 
'''Bob:''' It’s-- it's a street of, uh, townhouses. And it's about three blocks long. And it’s got a second name called "Stork Alley". 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And every spring, they have a "Stork Alley Rally". 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? Oh… 
'''Bob:''' At the same time, they have the Easter parade over on Monument Avenue. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’ve never seen it before, but my friends tell me about it. But I’m usually stuck in, y'know… college. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – but-- but I was only in Richmond… um… 1975 through 1980. And then, I got married to ''his'' mother. And, um… ''he'' was born, and then, we got transferred over here; I worked for GE. 
'''Bob:''' And we lived in Chesterfield County… but I ''love'' West Avenue; that’s my favorite spot. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' I call it "Sesame Street". 
'''Emily:''' Oh, that’s… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Because they call it "Stork Alley", 'cause there’s so many kids. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah? 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I-- I-- I love the Virginian area. 
'''Bob:''' His ''mother''… was raised – but you wouldn’t believe it – she-- she was raised in a [unintelligible] home. And one that's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Right there on, um… I can’t think of the name of that street: the one that goes right in front of the Burger King… down at… VCU. 
'''Emily:''' I don’t know what… streets really are-- 
'''Bob:''' Well, again-- but that is a street that goes right in front of Burger King… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And right down the street from there is where… ''his'' mother lived for about 20 years and raised her first son. 
'''Bob:''' And he’s got a lot of ties to the family, too; he just doesn’t like me. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… do you guys have a big family? 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Well, uh, we’ve got-- we've got ''my'' son, and my daughter. 
'''Bob:''' You-- my son’s in Richmond, and my daughter’s in Washington. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And then, we’ve got ''her'' son, who's in New York. And then, there’s the three of us. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – Schiflett's a really big family. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – we got… two-- really, two separate families. 
'''Emily:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… but it’s not as big as The Brady Bunch! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' No… it isn't. 
'''Emily:''' No. 
'''Bob:''' But we-- we-- we enjoy it, and I-- I have-- uh, I grow flowers. And… I don’t have to worry about… makin' a livin' anymore… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' With Social Security, and… the GE pension. And GE's good and sound… fortunately! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' So, uh… I-- I grow day lilies. I’ve gotten my yard full of [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' And in the middle, I’ve got a, um… well, about 15 [unintelligible] greenhouse. 
'''Emily:''' Oh? 
'''Bob:''' Except… inside this greenhouse, it’s different. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Inside this greenhouse, there’s ''plastic'' flowers. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – ''plastic'' flowers? 
'''Bob:''' A ''swing''… and, uh, all my ''stereo'' stuff, and, uh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but he’s got ''real'' flowers in his garden. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. Oh, okay. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – the day lilies are real, in the garden; but inside here, it’s all flat. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – day lilies bloom about once a year, during-- dur-- about ''once''-- 
'''Bob:''' In the summer. 
'''Chris:''' This-- this summer. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' There-- there's also that-- 
'''Chris:''' And then, they stay that way for about a month or so. It’s a beautiful garden. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, I can imagine! 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I’ve got about 15,000 healthy-- 
'''Chris:''' [dreamily/creepily] ''Imagine!'' 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And I-- I love all the music from-- from [unintelligible (but seemingly naming a pair of musical artists)]. 
'''Chris:''' Raise me on music, he did! 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' And-- and musicals. And soundtracks. 
'''Emily:''' Well, what’s ''your'' favorite artist? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, my favorite artist? Well, he didn’t raise me on it, but, y'know, my favorite ss-- uh… ''singer'' is Britney Spears. 
'''Emily:''' Britney Spears? 
'''Bob:''' And, uh, he's got all-- uh, mine are all back from the '40s, and '30s, and '20s, and-- 
'''Emily:''' And he’s into… more ''modern'' pop music? 
'''Chris:''' Although… I guess if I had to pick a ''classic'' favorite, it would have to be ''Satchmo''. 
'''Emily:''' "Satchmo"? 
'''Chris:''' Louis Armstrong. 
'''Bob:''' And-- but [unintelligible] all these big ''classics'' now-- 
'''Chris:''' [''does Satchmo impression''] "Ten feet off the ground!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' [''imitates trumpet melody''] 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when it came out. All the European [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when they came out, 'cause they were [unintelligible] but now, you can get 'em at Goodwill and Salvation Army… 
'''Emily:''' Well-- 
'''Bob:''' A ''quarter'' to ''fifty'' cents apiece. 
'''Emily:''' [feigning enthusiastic agreement] Yeah! [''laughs weakly''] 
'''Bob:''' ''Thousands'' of them now! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And inside, uh, I found out that inside this, um… um… ''greenhouse''… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' It's got a ''dome'' ceiling… which gives it the ca-- ''cathedral'' [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' Well… I found this ''great'' stereo system at, uh-- in the 1970s, at Goodwill… and put ''it'' out there… along with the swing. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' And… if you turn the volume up, then that music just sounds like it’s the hall where they ''recorded'' it! Ah – it's great! 
'''Bob:''' Goin' out there and swingin' with my music for hours on end! 
'''Emily:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily''] 
'''Emily:''' That must be really relaxing! 
'''Bob:''' Well, yeah – it's a nice life! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely'']

===Bob's Health Problems (24:23 - 25:29)===

'''Bob:''' If I didn't have to worry about ''him'', I'd be in ''great'' shape! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs sympathetically''] 
'''Bob:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Chris:''' [''laughs nervously''] [unintelligible] But he's been-- still been in… good shape all his [unintelligible] I mean, he's been in-- he's been through, uh, ''three'' triple-- ''two'' triple-bypasses? 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I was supposed to ''die'' in 1980. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! What happened? 
'''Bob:''' In fact, I ''did''. 
'''Emily:''' What happened? 
'''Bob:''' I smoked too much… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' And, um… I worked for GE. 
'''Bob:''' I did all this dumb stuff I shouldn't have. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah-- but yeah – he-- but yes – uh… 
'''Bob:''' And, um… 
'''Chris:''' God let him survive! 
'''Bob:''' I had a couple heart attacks, and… 
'''Emily:''' [responding to Chris] Yeah – for a reason! 
'''Chris:''' And he's got a pacemaker now! 
'''Bob:''' Yeah… I-- I've been through-- I lived through a triple-bypass in 1980 [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' And survived that… so, [[Chris and death|I've only died a couple times!]] 
'''Bob:''' And then, I got-- I got through that. 
'''Bob:''' Then, ''he'' came along. 
'''Chris:''' Hey! He come-- 
'''Bob:''' And then, I-- I got retired… 
'''Chris:''' Hey! 
'''Emily:''' Hmm? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – hey – he's the one that's b-- that has seen the light, but did not actually go ''to'' it… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And, um… 
'''Chris:''' A ''number'' of times. 
'''Bob:''' I had ''another'' triple-bypass in '92… 
'''Bob:''' And I died a couple times [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' And that was at Chippenham, over in Chester County. 
'''Emily:''' Oh…

===Memories of High School (25:30 - 26:12)===

'''Bob:''' And, uh… when I was over there with him, I-- I put him to school through, uh, ''Chesterfield'' County's school system. 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Bob:''' Well, they're the best in the country… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' For-- for schools [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' And-- and, um… 
'''Chris:''' Manchester High. 
'''Emily:''' [disinterested] Oh, really? 
'''Bob:''' Then, um… 
'''Chris:''' That's my birthstone: [[Amnyfest Ring|amnyfest]]. 
'''Emily:''' And the ''side'' of it… 
'''Emily:''' What does it say: "Lancers"? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Is that-- wait – is that your mascot? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Then…what's on the other side? "2000"? 
'''Chris:''' Yes… that's my class and coat'a arms. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Manchester High School. And look at the jewel! It's a galaxy cut on top, and [[rainbow|a rainbow]] on the bottom. If you look at-- in the ring-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' Do you see-- 
'''Emily:''' I see it! 
'''Chris:''' Do you see the rainbow? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. [[speech impediment|Well, anyway, like, y'know,]] I guess that's enough-- y'know, that's enough talk from ''him''. Uh… you were gonna ask… 
'''Emily:''' Aww… 
'''Chris:''' ''Me'' something?

===The "Sonichu Girls" Club (26:13 - 29:01)===

'''Bob:''' Now, I wanna find out about these… ''Sonichu'' Girls! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Sonichu Girls? 
'''Bob:''' 'Cause I didn't know about them. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – didn't… Chris tell you about them? 
'''Bob:''' No – he doesn't-- no – he doesn't normally-- he doesn't… ''tell'' me much about them, so… 
'''Bob:''' See – he's a-- he-- he and his mother stay up all night… and I stay up all day. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Uh… actually reminds me more-- actually, we're more-- sometimes, you stay up in the day; sometimes, you stay up in the night. 
'''Emily:''' So, you've got, like, ''mixed''… like, sleep schedules, I guess? 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… my mom-- and my-- my mom picked up my bad biological-- my messed-up [[biological clock]]. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' She stays up all night! 
'''Bob:''' But anyway… I-- I-- yeah – I found out about 'em from… I guess, when you called on the phone… 
'''Emily:''' Oh! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And-- and left a message. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – it's a pretty big fanbase. Um… there's actually about-- about 30-some girls… at University of West Virginia who, like, are part of the fan club. 
'''Bob:''' Hmm! 
'''Emily:''' And then, there's-- I mean, there's, uh, plenty of others, like, around the world, too, that-- we talk to… um, on the forums that we have? 
'''Bob:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Do-- you got one here in UVA? 
'''Emily:''' I don't know… [''giggles''] I don't have very many friends at UVA. 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Emily:''' That's why I heard-- that's why. 
'''Bob:''' VCU's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. They're a lot more laid-back over there. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah. Well, they're in the sand! How else could you be? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' 'Cause in the sand, you have to be laid-back. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Y'know, I was curious about this-- this club… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' I-- I didn't know he even knew about it! ''I'' didn't know about it. I think it's great! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Hey – I've been on the Internet chat! And plus, y'know… 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Y'know, certain-- 
'''Bob:''' Plus [[medallion|the ''medallion'']], Christian! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… um… 
'''Bob:''' He's got this yellow medallion with Sonichu on it… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! Why-- why aren't you wearing your… [suddenly concerned] m-- medallion? 
'''Chris:''' Um… I just believe I expressed that, uh… in a video on, uh, YouTube? But I-- I, uh… 
'''Emily:''' I might've missed that; I'm not sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – um… I'd rather not say in front of-- I'd rather not say in front of ''Father''… but, uh… 
'''Bob:''' There's a lot of things he doesn't tell me; he doesn't share things with me. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' [whispering] If I told him why, he'd have ''another'' heart attack… 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely again''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' But I mean, y'know… think of it this way: at least you don't have another face that you have-- you don't-- it saves you one face to have to look at! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – and look at 'em, y'know: they're ashually ''green-blue''. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I see it! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – pink eye in that eye, and then, uh, the prescribed eye drops changed the pigment! 
'''Emily:''' Wow… I didn't know that… could happen! [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Yeah''… looks like you kinda, like, uh, have green-brown eyes yourself? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Emily:''' I thought they were just plain brown! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's just that-- y'know, it's-- the angle of the light kinda gave it a little bit of a greenish tint… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible]

===Emily Isn't Hungry (29:02 - 29:58)===

'''Chris:''' Yeah… but ''anyway'', uh… you came all the way from VCU; uh… you hungry? 
'''Emily:''' Oh – no, I'm not hungry. I ate on the way here, really. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – you-- 
'''Emily:''' Stopped at, like, a rest stop. Got some vending m-- [''laughs nervously''] vending machine snacks… and that's it. 
'''Chris:''' ''Oh.'' That's good. 
'''Chris:''' That's good; uh… ''Father'' was thinkin' about, like-- was gonna get us ''spaghetti'', and, uh… [truly flustered] we wanna sh-- we wanna split it be-- he was gonna split it between me, and, uh… I'm gonna split mine with you… 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no… I'm not hungry. Thank you, though! 
'''Chris:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' We usually split a spaghetti, 'cause I-- I can't eat it all! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… it's a really big bowl for him… 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' Really… ''whoop!'' 
[''Emily laughs and Chris chuckles''] 
'''Bob:''' It's not as big as I'd like… y'know… it's bigger! 
'''Emily:''' No… [''giggles''] 
'''Chris:''' Let's see… well, Dad – why don't you go get your spaghetti? 
'''Bob:''' Do you want some? 
'''Emily:''' No. I'm-- I'm not hungry. Thank you, though… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… we could get you some ''water''. 
'''Emily:''' No – I'm not thirsty, as well. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay – well, go ahead and get your sh-- go ahead and get the spaghetti, Father. 
'''Bob:''' Alright.

===Bob's Health Problems Revisited (29:59 - 32:11)===

'''Bob:''' Yeah – I got one other thing I was gonna tell you about… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' Since we've talked about it: on that, uh… I've died about five times now. 
'''Bob:''' The last time, I was at Golden Corral. The restaurant? 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' And… my mom was there with him. 
'''Bob:''' [''chuckles''] I just… hit the floor! 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! 
'''Chris:''' No – not really; uh… he was-- uh, he was pullin' out his credit c-- not really "hit the floor", but… he was pullin' out his, uh, credit card? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Chris:''' And he would've… hit a-- he was standing in front of, like, the cash register, and there was a bar railing there; the bar rail was there. If he-- if my mom wasn't there to catch him… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Chris:''' His-- like his guardian angel, he would'a hit the bar and would've been… worse… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Would've been worse off! 
'''Emily:''' Oh, wow… 
'''Bob:''' But anyway, uh, now, I've got a pacemaker. 
'''Emily:''' Wow. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – and ''that's'' when he got his pacemaker. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' I guess that won't happen in, uh… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' But I-- I think the [unintelligible] reason why I survived all those attacks… which I think I'm ''proud'' of… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' I don' t know about you. 
'''Chris:''' ''He's'' proud of it. 
'''Bob:''' ''I'm'' proud of it. I don't know whether ''he'' is or not. 
'''Chris:''' I'm proud of him, for it! 
'''Bob:''' But I'm, um-- I found out a few years ago-- about… 10 or 15 years ago… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' That I was… at least one-fourth Cherokee! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – so, that makes me an eighth… Cherokee. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I figured that-- and then, I checked back all my father's… relatives [unintelligibile] all the way up to be up in their 80s, and 90s, and even over ''100'' sometimes. 
'''Emily:''' Dang! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, I figured: well, that's why I keep bouncin' back from this. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' This ain't my time yet. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – either that or, uh, God's lettin' him stick around for my… c-- for ''my'' case. 
'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta look out for him! 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' [''cackles''] 
'''Chris:''' [''cackles almost identically''] 
'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta pay the bills! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously again''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… okay, Dad, uh… you s-- alright, Dad-- 
'''Bob:''' Now-- now, I'm dismissed, so I can go [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs nervously yet again''] 
'''Chris:''' Well… not really "dismissed", because… y'know, I'm a little hungry myself… 
'''Chris:''' So… [''laughs nervously''] y'know, Dad, please go get the spaghetti and the bread. 
'''Bob:''' You sure you don't want something? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I'm sure. Thank you for asking, though. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – y'know, I was concerned, myself. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, I'll let you two talk… mainly to save the table… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily''] Then, I'll come back, and… 
'''Bob:''' If you don't mind us eatin' in front of you! 
'''Emily:''' I don't mind. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' You better tell me more about this club you've got! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
[''Bob walks away'']

===Chris Fails at Flirting (32:12 - 36:48)===

'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – y'know, you-- uh… I must say you look ''good''. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – thank you! 
'''Chris:''' And, y'know, you are the first, uh, female Sonichu fan to have actually come a long distance to see me. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – well, it's not that far! I’m sure, like, maybe some of the girls from VCU would come down sometime: like, maybe during s-- uh… summer break. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but I mean, at least all the way from, uh, West Virginia. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I mean, that’s farther than VCU, I'm sure. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Emily:''' We might take a road trip down here. 
'''Chris:''' [in a sing-song voice] "Take a road trip! It's a little road trip!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' [''does terrifying Donald Duck impression''] "And this is my duck talk! This is, uh, Donald Duck!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] [almost fearful] Is that the one that scared that child? 
'''Chris:''' Uh… at the-- 
'''Emily:''' At Wendy’s. 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Emily:''' I don’t know how that’s scary. 
'''Chris:''' No – not-- not-- no – not-- really scary; y'see, he was ''tired''… 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… okay. So, you… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' But it makes a lot of children smile, ‘cause they’re familiar with that D-- classic Disney character. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… you mi-- you don’t mind if I t-- if I, uh, have my hand on your shoulder? 
'''Emily:''' Uh, not for too long… 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] "Not for too long". 
'''Emily:''' ''Okay''… not-- not for too long… 
'''Chris:''' Okay… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''chuckles again''] This is like-- wow – I finally… get, like, this… beautiful girl in front of me… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] Thank you. 
'''Chris:''' And she's like-- and she actually got to know ''me''. 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Just, like, y'know, uh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. So… what’s your-- what's the reason you need ''your'' glasses for? I’m ''near-''sighted myself. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’m nearsighted, as well. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Emily:''' I don’t have very good eyes. 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] It's like, y'know, we’re close, so it's like, y'know, we don’t need glasses to see each other… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Do we? 
'''Emily:''' Hmm… no – it's still blurry… 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. How do you look without that hat? I mean, I want-- I'd like to see the, uh… 
'''Emily:''' I-- I like this hat. My hair doesn’t look good today. 
'''Chris:''' Oh… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Your hair doesn’t look good today? Are you sure? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’m sure. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' How’s my hair look? 
'''Emily:''' It looks good! 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Looks good. 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Boy – I've had it sleepin' against ''pillows''… and I took a shower before I went-- before I went to-- um, crashing on the… couch. 
'''Emily:''' [slightly disgusted] Oh… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but I put on some, uh, bod-- body s-- some [[Axe|Axe body spray]] before I left. Do you like that smell? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – it depends on which one it is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Uh, which one is it? 
'''Chris:''' I believe it's, uh… it's called "Proximity". 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I ''really'' like the choc-- the new chocolate one. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – the, uh, "Dark Temptation"… 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.'' 
'''Chris:''' Oh – I was running low on that can anyway. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… okay. 
'''Chris:''' It's like I-- if I-- if I-- if we-- if we was hookin' up, I would've gotten more of that! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
[Note: Chris both stutters ''and'' laughs through "if we was hookin' up", so it's not at all clear that Emily realizes what she's laughing at.] 
'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] But seriously, though: you ''are'' cute. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – thank you. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Mmm''… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – I like-- I like this-- I like this-- I like the get-up you’re wearing. It's like you're-- you c-- you straight-- came straight from, uh… the, uh, PGSM… show. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' It's the live-action [[Sailor Moon]]. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’ve seen some of the episodes for that. 
'''Chris:''' I’ve got the entire series-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Saved to my PlayStation 3, including the, uh, wedding episode. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I don’t… think I’ve… seen that one… so… 
'''Chris:''' Its, like, the very-- it's, like, a very special ''last'' episode. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' [in a strange, baby-like voice] You actually get to see ''Usagi''… [back to his normal voice] and, uh-- aww, shoot – I forget his name, but, y'know… 
'''Emily:''' Uh… Mamoru? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – Samoru. That’s it; ''you'' got it. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' You ''got'' it! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' You got it. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I used to be a really big fan of Sailor Moon. Well, I still am; I’m just not as big of a fan as… nowadays. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] entire anime series? 
'''Emily:''' Um, I haven’t seen the ''last'' season. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – Sailor Stars. 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah''… 'cause it didn’t come out in America, 'cause they’re, like, afraid of the transsexuals? 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – I kn-- I know that. But I ''have'' that on, uh-- I have that on ''DVD''-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, y'know, with J-- Japanese audio and English subtitles. 
'''Emily:''' How do you feel about that? Like, the transsexuals and… the Sailor Starlights? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Um… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Does it, like, make you uncomfortable, or… would you-- 
'''Chris:''' No. 
'''Emily:''' Would you have minded if, like, it came out, and the TV showed just, like, little kids? 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Um… 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… [pitiful] I don’t have much of an opinion… 
[''Emily and Chris both laugh''] 
'''Emily:''' It's kind of a… sketchy subject, there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's, uh-- it's… [in a British accent] ''itchy''… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but you can sketch a lot in your, uh… journalism, don't ya? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Well, I m-- I mean, we don’t draw a lot; we just… 
'''Emily:''' We do, like, the little outlines, and then, we start writing. 
'''Chris:''' Okay – well, I mean, you-- I mean, you sketch your ''letters''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I bet you sketch your signature pretty… don’t you? 
'''Emily:''' No – I thinks it's, uh-- it's just basically a bunch'a scribbles. 
[''Chris and Emily both laugh''] 
'''Chris:''' Eh… a lot of people would say that about their signatures, I’m sure. 
'''Emily:''' Well, I mean, some people just, like, put an X for their signature, and that’s it. 
'''Chris:''' ''Ah''… but not you. You put… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' An E and… an S, basically. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh-- uh, an S? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – Emily Schiflett. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – ''that’s'' your last name! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' "Schiflett". 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – my middle name’s Julia. 
'''Chris:''' ''"Julia"!'' 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.'' 
'''Chris:''' "Emily Julia Schiflett". 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Flows nicely, doesn’t it? 
'''Chris:''' It's beautiful! 
'''Emily:''' Aww… thank you. 
'''Chris:''' D-- do you dot your I in "Julia" with a heart? 
'''Emily:''' No… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] 
[pause]

===Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)===

[''Bob comes back''] 
'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Alright, Dad – uh, I'll let you, uh, divvy up the spaghetti onto my plate. 
'''Bob:''' I get to divvy it up! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Bob:''' Wow! Christian – I don't know… 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] my ''treat'' to finally come down here! I love their spaghetti! 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… really? I don't think-- I've only had their pizza there… before… 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – the, um-- all the spaghetti places in town are too expensive. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' My favorite, though, is, um, Olive Garden. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh.'' 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – b-- but-- 
'''Bob:''' But they don't have one here! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' But they should have one here. 
'''Bob:''' ''I'' think they should. 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' You ever been to an Olive Garden? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, yeah – it's a good place to, uh, get, uh, spaghetti. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I-- I've actually-- yeah – y'know, I was there with my father… when-- the few times we visited, uh, Olive Garden. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – a good place to get, uh, spaghetti; really good. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' And also, we've been to the, uh, few, uh, nearly-- to the ''other'' nearly esstinct, uh, restaurants: y'know, like Shoney's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I haven't seen a Shoney's around in a ''while!'' 
'''Chris:''' There's one in Chesterfield Count-- there's a bun-- there's a few in the Richmond area… 
'''Bob:''' And one over close to VCU! 
'''Emily:''' Oh! Really? I didn't see it! [''laughs politely''] Of course, I'm-- I'm usually not looking for them, so… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – we even ha-- yeah – we even-- at-- at home, somewhere, we even have a t-- we even have the-- the teddy bear: the ''Shoney Bear''. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' The Shoney Bear? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's-- that was their mascot. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' And I mean, if you look it up-- if you look up "Shon"-- if you-- I'm sure if you Googled "Shoney's", you'd, uh… find their mascot being the teddy-- 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' Being the bear. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' [in a somewhat cutesy voice] "Bein' the bear in the shirt…" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] "to… wan-- to wan-- to… gawk-- to ''gander'' at!" 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Christian – they got lots of juice! 
[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Well, ''you'' can have it… 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Chris:''' I don't need to, uh, ''slobber'' all over myself… 
'''Chris:''' Especially in front of my, uh, "lady friend", here. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] Aww… 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] a little bit more? 
[long pause] 
'''Bob:''' You can deal ''without''… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – he doesn't usually eat the bread, so, uh, I'll take his-- so, I take his breadsticks. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get some more water. 
'''Emily:''' Okay! 
'''Chris:''' I'll be right back. 
[''Chris walks away''] 
[pause]
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] share with him. 
'''Emily:''' [laughs politely] 
'''Bob:''' I share with my wife. [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Does she do anything for a living or is she retired as well? 
'''Bob:''' She's retired. She used to be a secretary. She worked for uh, General Power 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' You know, our nice power company, whatever they're called now... Dominion? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And uh, she worked for uhm Circuit City for a while before she retired. 
'''Emily:''' Well good thing she's gone - she got out of Circuit City before they started going downhill. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah, well they were going downhill [unintelligible] retired. 
'''Emily:''' Oh really? 
'''Bob:''' Yeah, [unintelligible] got retirement. She didn't retire 'til, a couple - three years ago. She's younger than I am [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' [laughs] 
'''Bob:''' But she's younger than I am, but uh [pause] [unintelligible] she uh worked [unintelligible, Chris comes back, still unintelligible] she loves that. Grey Street. Grey Street. 
'''Emily:''' Uh huh. 
'''Bob:''' Do you know where Grey Street is over there? Do you uh, Do you know where the Burger King is over there by BP is? 
'''Chris:''' [chuckles] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' [laughs] 
'''Chris:''' [Unintelligble, Emily is laughing while he is saying it] 
'''Bob:''' The Burger King is on Price Street. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' I-I-I'm an [unintelligible] uh, Main uh what you would call Main Street. 
'''Emily:''' Uh huh. 
'''Bob:''' VCU is all back in [pause] all back in here like this, 
'''Emily:''' Uh huh. 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] and downtown Richmond is this way.
'''Chris:''' [he says something about Pokemon] 
'''Bob:''' He loooves Pokemon. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, we used to come down here for the Pokemon league or uh [unintelligble] Yeah, I remember that. 
'''Emily:''' [laughs] 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligble] for you is-is here. Well all around in here, they're everywhere, but fifth Avenue is over there. 
'''Emily:''' Uh huh. 
'''Bob:''' And Grey Street is 3 blocks, all the way through there like this where the lower side of VCU is. 
'''Emily:''' Oh.
'''Bob:''' And they got all their little restaurants and their little stores and things like that and they're all along Grey Street. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' And where his mother lived for about twenty years was right about here... On Grey Street. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, by the way I have used uh chopsticks before. 
'''Emily:''' [laughs] 
'''Chris:''' See there? 
'''Emily:''' That may be kind of hard with a fork and a knife. [laughs] 
'''Chris:''' Heh heh heh hey that's close enough. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [laughs] 
'''Chris:''' I can't... 
'''Bob:''' Yeah, well while we were over there in Richmond. 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, are you a little bit Chinese or asian or Japanese? 
'''Emily:''' Nuh uh. 
'''Bob:''' I think it's just from wearin' glasses. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, I think it's just the glasses... And the dark hair [chuckles] 
'''Bob:''' I'll bet ya [unintelligble] over there was Reverend [unintelligible] of the Korean Church. 
'''Emily:''' Uh huh. 

===(42:04 - 01:14:22)===

{{transcription}}

===A Walk to Remember (01:14:23 - 01:21:43)===

Chris and Emily awkwardly leave Bob who continues to ramble as they clomp off through the mall. 
'''Bob:''' Take care. 
'''Chris:''' Alright come on, Emily, let's, let's walk… 
Bob babbles on about sending something. 
'''Emily:'''Okay… okay, you can show me around the mall… 
'''Chris:''' Okay! Here's our… heights… You… you come to just about my eyeline. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous tittering* 
They walk quietly for a moment as Chris mutters something quietly. 
'''Chris:''' *sigh* So where you li… where do you usually like to go shopping at when you're at a shopping center? 
'''Emily:''' *impatiently* Clothes stores. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, they have a number of clothing stores in, uh… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' … a J.C. Penney and a Sears, among other places that uh, more name brands… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah a lot of the stores here are, if you take a look, take a look at the prices and they're pretty expensive. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… Yeah… but, you know, they used to ha- they used to have a Kay-Bee Toys here and I- that's where I got my- turns out- my thousand dollar shopping spree I won around the… around the Adventures- the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Chris:''' That sweepstakes, you might remember I put something about that… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' … you might remember that, uh, news clip… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! I've seen it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
Chris nervously takes a few steps. 
'''Chris:''' Wow… you're like… I'm sorry. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' I'm just fascinated like… you're just like… a character from PGSM or from- came all the way from Japan- just leapt out of my television! 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* No I'm definitely all American. 
'''Chris:''' You're all American. 
'''Emily:''' I'm all American. 
'''Chris:''' Okay- so it's just- it's just your eyes that are excepting. 
'''Emily:''' *shameless subject change* Yeah… so what's your favorite store here? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's- currently, since they took away the toy store- I think it's- I would say it's mostly Gamestop, but I also go to the bookstore or Sears, or even the Spencer's that's down on the other side of the mall. And they used to have an FYE here, which was a Suncoast before- before it- before they all merged and became an FYE, but then they closed that to make the next business here. 
'''Emily:''' What's down the other way… cause I've been… I came down this way, but I haven't been down that way. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, we'll go down that way! Alright. I hope- Hope you don't mind me sticking around your left side… 
'''Emily:''' *bravely* Okay, that's fine! 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I guess I should keep my hands to myself and behave, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, you should probably do that. 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' But, you know, not- but you know- respectful- touch you gently on the shoulder or the back- 
'''Emily:''' *vomitously* Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I mean at least I'm not that guy from Inuyasha that… go- eh- go for the bum. 
'''Emily:''' *vomitously* Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Heh-heh, that's funny. Always get slapped in the face, he does. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I forget his name, I think it's Mamoru, or something like that 
'''Emily:''' Uh… . it's Miroku. 
'''Chris:''' *talking over her* Do you watch Inuyasha? Yeah, Miroku, that was it, you hi- you hit it on the head right there… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
Emily awkwardly walks several steps… 
'''Emily:''' *delaying* Is that the… food court there? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah that's basically the food court. 
'''Emily:''' OK… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it use- it used to have McDonalds here- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' … soooo many years ago across from the Gamestop there, back then it was called Babbages… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' And then between them and Suncoast was FunCo Land and Software Etc. and they all merged into a Ga- they all merged into Gamestop 
'''Emily:''' Oh… never heard about that… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… I'm sh- I'm sh- I'm sure you must've at least noticed those game stores back in your youth- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… I play video games sometimes, but not very often… 
'''Salesman:''' HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE HARAAGARALABHGH 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no thank you! 
'''Chris:''' No thank you! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… right over- see- where that *unintelligble name of store*, that's where PacSun used to be, where Anna McLerran 
'''Emily:''' Oh yeah… I've… I've heard of her as well… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Emily:''' Is she still around? 
'''Chris:''' No she, uh- moved to Utah. 
'''Emily:''' Utah… 
'''Chris:''' She's a Mormon. Found that out after I met her. But we cam- but we- but we could became good friends and I gave her, uh, you know, gave her a going away/birthday party before she left for Utah… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh! 
'''Chris:''' For her 20th birthday… and actually her- actual- and actually her friends, uh, her friends and I got together and put together the party. *emphatically* I k- I bought the cake. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, that's nice of you… and… there was also Megan. Do you keep in contact with her? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah uh… no, not-no-n-n-not-been-touch with her for a long time. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' That's cause she moved to another state. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… did she move to Utah too? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, no, I don't think she moved to Utah, I don't even remember where she moved to. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' But you know, sometimes, I, uh, I dream I'm back in uh, Manchester High, you know, I get to see all my- all my old s- c- all my old friends… there. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Sometimes I even see Megan and John in there… John's her brother… 
'''Emily:''' Oh ok… 
'''Chris:''' Can you believe that, attending Manchester High like I was back then, 
'''Emily:''' *small laughter* 
'''Chris:''' … but yet they never went- they never been- they never been to Manchester High, neither of them. Isn't that… kinda funny? 
'''Emily:''' *slightly sarcastically* Yeah… that is kinda funny! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… FYE was over there… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… I guess it's becoming a LensCrafters? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I guess… anyway here's the Spencer's. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' If you like looking at the, uh, naughty stuff- 
'''Emily:''' *quickly* No, I'm not into that. 
'''Chris:''' Not yet anyway! *laughs* 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' Ah, but you might. But it's mostly humorous, anyway. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… well… doesn't look like there's anything down here… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… not much… not much to look at around here… the toy stores around here are down here… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… well I gotta get going soon, it's gonna be a long drive! 
'''Chris:''' Long drive… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Well I hope, uh, you at least, uh, keep the memories we've shared… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll walk you to your car, if you want… 
'''Emily:''' No, I'll probably have to go to the bathroom first… it's that time of the month… 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, when you're on your, uh, period… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, aside from the, uh, first time, uh, meeting, this first meeting, uh, how do you feel about me? In general… 
'''Emily:''' You're a really nice guy! 
'''Chris:''' Thank you… 
'''Emily:''' I don't know why people pick on you and all that… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, they should get to know me in person… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I mean I'm a gentleman, I behave… behave… 
'''Emily:''' *steering the beast* Have you been into any of these stores over here?

===Meet the Pickle (01:21:44 - 01:25:29)===

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] Yeah, so, um, you wouldn't want to go see Watchmen, would you? 
'''Chris:''' Uh… no. 
'''Emily:''' I'd see that movie. 
'''Chris:''' *shocked* Uh… any particular reason why you're dressed up like that? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Not in particular. 
'''Chris:''' Come on, Emily. 
'''Emily:''' What? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Hey, hey, maybe the lady wants to go with me. Ya, ya want to go see Watchmen? Lots of, uh… 
'''Emily:''' *gloating* Why, what's wrong? 
'''Chris:''' The man in the pickle suit… a- it's apparent this guy's amongst the… trolls. 
'''Pickle Man:''' You think… 
'''Emily:''' What's a tro… 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Passerby:''' Sir… sir, what are you? 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm a pickle. 
'''Passerby:''' You're a pickle! I love pickles. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? Pickles are pretty cool. 
'''Passerby:''' And who are you advertising with? 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm not really advertising. 
'''Passerby:''' You're just dressed for fun? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Just bored. 
'''Chris:''' Dressed as a pickle to HAUNT ME. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Excuse me? I don't even know you. 
'''Passerby:''' You're just bored? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yep! 
'''Chris:''' *questioningly* You don't even know me… are you sure… do you have internet access? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Lots of people have internet access. 
'''Chris:''' Do you know Sonichu and Rosechu? 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. 
'''Chris:''' Do you know about Encyclopedia Dramatica? 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. (turning to Emily) Want to go see Watchmen? 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs* No, no, no, she's with- 
'''Emily:''' Alright! 
'''Chris:''' … she's h- she's headed over to- she's heading back to her home town. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, Watchmen would be pretty cool. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, it would be pretty cool! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, alright, uh… 
'''Emily:''' Let's go see it! 
'''Pickle Man:'''Okay, cool. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah? 
'''Pickle Man:''' (to Emily as they turn to leave together) You've probably seen Watchmen (he refers to the novel), haven't you? 
'''Chris:''' (answering the question meant for Emily as he is clearly left behind) I've heard of Watchmen… 
'''Pickle Man:''' *laughs at Chris* 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' (inaudible, but clearly saying something to the effect that he doesn't like the Pickle Man.) 
'''Emily:''' *gloating* What's wrong with him? 
'''Pickle Man:''' What, you like pickles? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… I do not like pickles. 
'''Pickle Man:''' No pickles? 
'''Chris:''' And also particularly a guy in a pickle suit who tricked me on the internet pretending that he was Blanca! 
'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! 
'''Pickle Man:''' Who's Blanca? 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs/grunts* 
'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! See, he's a nice guy. 
'''Chris:''' (inaudible, but stressed as he moves closer to Emily) 
'''Pickle Man:''' I think you're making the lady uncomfortable there, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs* I'm sorry, Emily. 
'''Emily:''' It's ok… I think I have… to go to the bathroom now… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, go change my tampon. 
'''Chris:''' Oh boy. [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' [inaudible] … but I guess I do now. 
'''Emily:''' *attempting to brush him off* OK, well it was nice meeting you… maybe we'll talk online or something. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well… I kinda… [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' (as they continue trying to walk away) Well, we're going to go now. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well… 
'''Emily:''' I'm going to the bathroom. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, either of- (to Pickle Man) you're not going where she's going… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, we're- we're leaving together. 
'''Chris:''' Are you with her? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Now we are. We're going to go see Watchmen. 
'''Chris:''' No! N- no! She's going b- you gotta go back to West Virginia, don't you. 
'''Pickle Man:''' We're going to go see Watchmen first. 
'''Emily:''' I'm kinda- just- gonna- Watchmen's not that long of a movie. 
'''Chris:''' *suddenly concerned for Emily* Yeah, but you got a five hour drive! 
'''Emily:''' *dismissively* It'll be ok. 
The Pickle Man and Chris indistinctly carry on a short dialogue. The Pickle Man seems to be asking Chris why he is following along, and Chris replies: 
'''Chris:''' I'm just staying close to my friends 
'''Emily:''' Alright, see ya! 

===Hiding Out In The Bathroom (01:25:29 - 01:29:34)===

There is a long pause as Emily hides from Chris in the bathroom. 
'''Passerby:''' (inaudible)...very fashionable looking. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you! 
'''Passerby:''' (inaudible) 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) 
Another long pause as Emily finally leaves the bathroom.

===A Precious Farewell (01:29:35 - 01:31:10)===

'''Pickle Man:''' So, you ready to go? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, my car's that way. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, her car's… Your car's [inaudible] didn't you? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, so did I. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, you did? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Which [inaudible]? 
'''Chris:''' Tha- that way. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… I'm over there. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. (continues walking alongside Pickle Man and Emily) 
'''Emily:''' Chris… you don't need to walk me to my car. 
'''Chris:''' Okaaay. 
'''Emily:''' This is… Alright. 
'''Chris:''' So, you have yourself a safe trip back to uhh… West Virginia. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… (feigning cheerfulness) okay! I might call you on Skype later. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, you take care. 
'''Emily:''' You too. 
'''Chris:''' Hey… (attempts to hug and kiss Emily) 
'''Emily:''' (tries to avoid Chris) No… no… no thank you! (nervous laughter) No thank you. 
'''Chris:''' (Chris gives up) Okay. 
'''Emily:''' Alright, see you. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, well you take care, be safe. 
'''Emily:''' Alright, you too. 
8 seconds pass as Pickle Man and Emily walk away from Chris. 
'''Chris:''' (yelling from a distance) HE KNOWS CLYDE CASH! 
There is laughter from Pickle Man and Emily. 
'''Emily:''' (laughing) Mission accomplished! 
'''Pickle Man:''' Is he gone yet? 
'''Emily:''' I don't know, let me look behind. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry. 
'''Emily:''' That's okay!. [inaudible] worse than me… 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm so sorry. 
'''Emily:''' That's okay. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay… [inaudible] man in the pickle suit? 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) 
'''Pickle Man:''' (laughingly says something about Clyde Cash) 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) Wait there… there's Frosty. 
'''Pickle Man:''' What? 
'''Emily:''' Looks like he's gone now. I'm gonna go tell him what happened. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. 
'''Emily:''' (presumably walking to see Frosty) Yes! Still recording!

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hgz03i1wj4n The Date Audio]

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Trolling]]