CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora

2012-05-31T02:30:56Z

Zaptotheextreme: minor edit about lyrics.

'''Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora''' is a 23 [[March 2009]] video in which [[Chris]] explains that it is healthy to fart and sings the Fart Song from ''[[Family Guy]]'' (getting most of the lyrics wrong) for [[Ivy]]'s friend [[Flora]], who has a fear of farting.

==Watch==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora
| video = {{#ev:youtube|KmKrHyyenjU}}
| stardate = 29 March 2009
| maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{DangerStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Sings Lovin' You#Watch|Chris Sings Lovin' You]]
| next = [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!#Video|Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
}}</center>

{{quote|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|It's not dangerous at all to let farts out.]]}}

=== Transcript ===

Hello. I'm making this video to Ivy's friend Flora, who uhh... has some concerns of her own about uhh... natural bodily function... that hopefully after this video she'll feel better about it. But uhh... there are... dangers about holding in farts... but, it's better and... and it's better to let them, it's better to let farts OUT, and it's not very comft... and it's not... dangerous at all to let farts out. If anything, holding farts in err... there's a chance of uhh... getting hemorrhoids, or uhh... some ki- or possibly doubles the risk of colon cancer. Err there's rumors that's going around on the Internet.

But anyway uhh... [''reads from notes''] but yeah, basically farts are uhh gas in our intestines that comes out from several sources. You know, the air you swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our gut, and gas produced by bacteria living in our gut. Hm. And I get these facts I have printed here from uhh... [http://www.heptune.com/farts.html heptune.com], H-E-P-T-U-N...E. Forgot the E. [''in strange voice''] Remember the E. Anyway uhh... On average a person produces about half a liter of fart-gas per day, which amounts to fourteen daily farts. So it's no problem to let your farts out! Whereas may be difficult to... [''mumbles to self, cutting off the rest of the line he was reading''] Okay. Yeah, well... But you know uhh... a good reason why the fart, why our farts come out come out our uhh... butt... because that's where our HOLE is, down there, for the farts to come out of. And if you don't let the farts out it's like uhh... holding in... it's like uhh... zit. If you... if pressure isn't relieved from the zit then uhh... it just might not heal. Or it'll, uh, just get bigger and bigger and bigger. So... yeah. Mm.

Besides which, you know, farting is a sign that uhh... you are alive. I mean, second most, second most important sign to let you know- to remind you that you're alive aside from breathing. You breathe you're alive, you fart you're alive. All animals fart. Hmm.

Then also, uhh... you know the uhh... it's also a possible question of men farting more than women. Well, that's not true. They, women, fart just as much. It's just that uhh... apparently men take more pride in it than most women... MOST men take pride in it... yeah. [''Reads from paper and chuckles''] Ah, here's a fun quote. Listen to this: "I have read that men fart more often than women. If that's true then women must be saving up and expelling more gas per fart than men do." Hmm.

But anyway uhh harmful to hold in farts: there are differences in opinion on that issue. Certainly people have believed for several centuries that uhh retaining the fart is bad for the health. Again, heptune.com. I wanna make sure I quote them:

<blockquote>Even Emperor Claydius [Claudius] passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief a person could be poisoned or catch disease by retaining farts, but doctors clarified that there is no particular harm. Uhh. It will not poison you. They are natural component in your intestinal contents. Worst thing that can happen is mild stomachache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distensation [distention] of the bowel could result... if a person holds it in too much. And even the effort involved in retaining the fart can cause hemorrhoids.</blockquote>

And there's uhh rumors going around about it possibly doubling the chances of colon cancer. Hmm.

But uhh, anyway, Flora, it's okay to fart once in a while. If you prefer to keep it private that's fine. You uhh... take it to the bathroom. And err if people remembered, there was a song written about the joys of farting. [''Smiles and bobs head''] On an episode of ''Family Guy''.

[''Starts singing out of key while stroking [[Guitar Hero]] controller'']

I like fancy learning books... I like apple tarts... I like cosy breakfast nooks... I like modern arts... And I like farts! Yes, I like farts! I like to fart your, fart your, fart your farts! Yeah, I like farts! If you got heart, [''puts on an impression of what in his mind Ivy's friend talks like''] "Oh, I've got heart"! [''Mumbles something that's hard to make out which doesn't seem to match the lyrics of the actual song''] "Where do I start?" Well Flora, I will help you get your, Flora started. [''Chris starts to make several disgusting fart sounds with his mouth while continuing to strum his Guitar Hero controller'']

It's OK to fart.

[''Video cuts off and comes back like Chris had forgot something''] Have a good day, Flora.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Sings Lovin' You]]|nextlink=[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-29]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-29]]

Chris and fashion

2012-02-26T02:16:32Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* The "Gay Trucker" outfit */ minor typo fix

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of [[autistic]] people.

== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring the Horizontal Horror.]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a [http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1cd2b01&deptid=70673&dep=MEN&catid=78744&pcat=MEN&cat=casual+shirts&NOffset=0&pcatid=70673&Ne=4294957900+5+29+3+596+1007+8+1031+18+904+833+949&N=4294938542+269&SO=0&cattyp=RLE&Nao=0&PSO=0&bcCat=3&CmCatId=70673%7c78744 St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo], which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person, including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The Carlos Chantor outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet; too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com.

It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011 a series of pictures leaked, showing Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear was at one point code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
*Black thong
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|10]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

==Fanny pack==
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T21:57:57Z

Zaptotheextreme: Fixed my misspellings of "Jackie"

[[File:Date.jpg|thumb|300px|A view of where Chris and "Jackie" did the do.]]
'''Chris and Jackie's Date''' is a four-video series of a date between Chris and [[Jackie]] (represented by a sex doll) leaked on 24 [[February 2012]]. Their romantic date consists of dancing in [[Chris's room]], a trip in [[Son-Chu]] to get a [[McDonald's]], eating it in Chris's front yard and a thirty-second hump in what appears to be the changing room of a clothes store.

The videos were originally leaked as ''one0612-hioghuyiogyo [SaveYouTube.com], two0612-vgiherqighbvpioerua [SaveYouTube.com], three0612-rqwehgiohcnracga [SaveYouTube.com]'' and ''four0612-hncu9tgohaeruxye [SaveYouTube.com]''.

==Videos==
===One===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7dDfqaMMWxI}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2012]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And now, Jackie-pie, I'm gonna go ahead and sweep you off your feet.

''[Turns camera to sex doll]'' Even though right now, you're sitting down.
''[Sets camera up on a table and picks up "Jackie," swinging her around and making his own music of la's and da's, occasionally throwing in random phrases as lyrics.]''

''[He stops dancing and kisses the sex doll's lips (where his [[duck]] has inevitably been) and sets her down. He comes to turn the camera off.]''

===Two===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yKikDhuOE00}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2012]]
| subject = {{Sex|Dating}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And after having picked you up Jackie and giving you a good dance and song, we are now heading out to the restaurant. We're gonna have some fun on the car-- sitting on the car and eating our food. Yep. Yum yum. ''[Unintelligible]'' yum yum.

''[Proceeds to spend the rest of the video [[Random-access humor|making strange "wacka doo" noises]].]''

===Three===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BZCxX-VvEjU}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2012]]
| subject = {{Sex|Dating & [[sex]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

''["Jackie" is sitting on the hood of Chris's car. Chris comes by and sits down, [[Obesity|making the car shake noticeably]].]''
Okay, so Jackie and I are here at McDonald's parking lot... we are sitting on top our car, we just enjoyed some apple-dippers and a Happy Meal.

''[Chris moves the doll as a child would when making a toy speak, and uses a [[sexism|shrill, high pitched voice]] while he [[Chris and reality|pretends Jackie is talking]].]''

''[As Jackie]'' ''[Unintelligible]''... if you'd like. Or even better... ''[Unintelligible]''...and I'd like that (?)

''[As himself]'' Yes, it was very enjoyable. Very good... So Jackie-pie, what'cha wanna do now?

''[As Jackie]'' I say we make out. And then see where it goes from there.

''[As himself]'' Alright.

''[Chris then proceeds to give "Jackie" a deep, open-mouthed kiss in the public parking lot of a McDonald's. He reaches past her and clicks an iPod or a radio. "California Gurls" plays. Chris then moves the doll so that he his legs are wrapped around it, its legs around him. He makes out with it for a few seconds before doing a strange, [[gaybian|scissor-like]] sex act. He makes sex noises, switching between his voice and Jackie's. He kisses her again for a moment before returning to his strange humping. He then puts the doll on the hood of his car, turns the music off and rushes to the camera.]''

Man, it's hot out here.

===Four===
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 4
| video =
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

to do

{{videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T21:54:34Z

Zaptotheextreme: Once again, I spelled "Jackie" wrong

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. The poem is about Chris [[pedofork|stalking a deer]] and then fucking it. The deer represents Jackie; this was obvious, but Chris feels the need to [[autism|explicitly say this]] at the end. Interestingly, he constantly refers to Jackie as a Red-Maned [[homo|Deer]] rather than a doe. He does say "doe," but he then goes right back to saying "deer".

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet grace and style in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flare.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike (?) majestic. She has eyes green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and speaks (?) like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and her father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Chris.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you for all these months. I've watched you as you rested, in dine (?) of the forest roots. And like ''[unintelligible]'', please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with erect elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]]. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few pure, unadulterated seconds of [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lense as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

Cheerleader

2012-02-25T21:53:35Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Transcript */ Just realized I've been spelling "Jackie" wrong

'''Cheerleader''' is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris acts as a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]] for Jackie, wearing a tank top and [[Tomgirl Saga|denim skirt]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Cheerleader
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xQzUIZv4Xls}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Yellow tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris steps out, in tomgirl garb and pom poms. He does some awkward shakes of the pom poms and some knee-kicks.]''
Rah rah ree! [[Kick the Autistic|Kick 'em in the knee!]] Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!

''[Chris unsuccessfully tries to spell 'KICK" with his body.]''

[[I_AM_STRONG|Just a little warm up!]]

''[He doesn't even try to get the letters right in his movements anymore as he indulges in a series of kicks.]''

J! A! C! K! I! E! Who's that girl who can't be beat? [[Jackie|Jackie! Jackie!]] Who's that girl [[Chris and English|who-- she's so sweet!]] Jackie! Jackie!

''[Chris moves toward the camera, his mouth not moving, to reveal that he's either dubbed over his movements or he just can't render a video for shit.]''

==See also==

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Talk:Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T21:16:14Z

Zaptotheextreme: Created page with "==To do== *I did my best at transcribing, but he mumbles a lot. Help with those ''[Unintelligible]'' bits would be great. *Why did he do this? Do we know? *When was this? Was Bo..."

==To do==

*I did my best at transcribing, but he mumbles a lot. Help with those ''[Unintelligible]'' bits would be great.
*Why did he do this? Do we know?
*When was this? Was Bob dead yet?
*Last video needs to be transcribed.

Talk:Cheerleader

2012-02-25T21:07:43Z

Zaptotheextreme: Created page with "That bit with the "Rah rah ree! Kick 'em in the knee! Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!" is from ''something,'' I just can't place what. Anyone?"

That bit with the "Rah rah ree! Kick 'em in the knee! Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!" is from ''something,'' I just can't place what. Anyone?

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T20:49:15Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Transcript */ minor typos

[[File:Date.jpg|thumb|300px|A view of where Chris and "Jackie" did the do.]]
'''Chris and Jackie's Date''' is a four-video series of a date between Chris and [[Jackie]] (represented by a sex doll) leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. Their romantic date consists of dancing in [[Chris's room]], a trip in [[Son-Chu]] to get a [[McDonald's]], eating it in Chris's front yard and a thirty-second hump in what appears to be the changing room of a clothes store.

The videos were originally leaked as ''one0612-hioghuyiogyo [SaveYouTube.com], two0612-vgiherqighbvpioerua [SaveYouTube.com], three0612-rqwehgiohcnracga [SaveYouTube.com]'' and ''four0612-hncu9tgohaeruxye [SaveYouTube.com]''.

==Videos==
===One===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7dDfqaMMWxI}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And now, Jackie-pie, I'm gonna go ahead and sweep you off your feet.

''[Turns camera to sex doll]'' Even though right now, you're sitting down.
''[Sets camera up on a table and picks up "Jacky," swinging her around and making his own music of la's and da's, occasionally throwing in random phrases as lyrics.]''

''[He stops dancing and kisses the sex doll's lips (where his [[duck]] has inevitably been) and sets her down. He comes to turn the camera off.]''

===Two===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yKikDhuOE00}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And after having picked you up Jacky and giving you a good dance and song, we are now heading out to the restaurant. We're gonna have some fun on the car-- sitting on the car and eating our food. Yep. Yum yum. ''[Unintelligible]'' yum yum.

''[Proceeds to spend the rest of the video [[Random-access humor|making strange "wacka doo" noises]].]''

===Three===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BZCxX-VvEjU}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

''["Jackie" is sitting on the hood of Chris's car. Chris comes by and sits down, [[Obesity|making the car shake noticeably]].]''
Okay, so Jacky and I are here at McDonald's parking lot... we are sitting on top our car, we just enjoyed some apple-dippers and a Happy Meal.

''[Chris moves the doll as a child would when making a toy speak, and uses a [[sexism|shrill, high pitched voice]] while he [[Chris and reality|pretends Jacky is talking]].]''

''[As Jacky]'' ''[Unintelligible]''... if you'd like. Or even better... ''[Unintelligible]''...and I'd like that (?)

''[As himself]'' Yes, it was very enjoyable. Very good... So Jacky-pie, what'cha wanna do now?

''[As Jacky]'' I say we make out. ''[Unintelligible]''

''[As himself]'' Alright.

''[Chris then proceeds to give "Jacky" a deep, open-mouthed kiss in the public parking lot of a McDonald's. He reaches past her and clicks an iPod or a radio. "California Gurls" plays. Chris then moves the doll so that he his legs are wrapped around it, its legs around him. He makes out with it for a few seconds before doing a strange, [[gaybian|scissor-like]] sex act. He makes sex noises, switching between his voice and Jacky's. He kisses her again for a moment before returning to his strange humping. He then puts the doll on the hood of his car, turns the music off and rushes to the camera.]''

Man, it's hot out here.

===Four===
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 4
| video =
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

to do

{{videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T20:48:42Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Transcript */ fixed some typos

[[File:Date.jpg|thumb|300px|A view of where Chris and "Jackie" did the do.]]
'''Chris and Jackie's Date''' is a four-video series of a date between Chris and [[Jackie]] (represented by a sex doll) leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. Their romantic date consists of dancing in [[Chris's room]], a trip in [[Son-Chu]] to get a [[McDonald's]], eating it in Chris's front yard and a thirty-second hump in what appears to be the changing room of a clothes store.

The videos were originally leaked as ''one0612-hioghuyiogyo [SaveYouTube.com], two0612-vgiherqighbvpioerua [SaveYouTube.com], three0612-rqwehgiohcnracga [SaveYouTube.com]'' and ''four0612-hncu9tgohaeruxye [SaveYouTube.com]''.

==Videos==
===One===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7dDfqaMMWxI}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And now, Jackie-pie, I'm gonna go ahead and sweep you off your feet.

''[Turns camera to sex doll]'' Even though right now, you're sitting down.
''[Sets camera up on a table and picks up "Jacky," swinging her around and making his own music of la's and da's, occasionally throwing in random phrases as lyrics.]''

''[He stops dancing and kisses the sex doll's lips (where his [[duck]] has inevitably been) and sets her down. He comes to turn the camera off.]''

===Two===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yKikDhuOE00}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And after having picked you up Jacky and giving you a good dance and song, we are now heading out to the restaurant. We're gonna have some fun on the car-- sitting on the car and eating our food. Yep. Yum yum. ''[Unintelligible]'' yum yum.

''[Proceeds to spend the rest of the video [[Random-access humor|making strange "wacka doo" noises]].]''

===Three===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BZCxX-VvEjU}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

''["Jackie" is sitting on the hood of Chris's car. Chris comes by and sits down, [[Obesity|making the car shake noticeably]].]''
Okay, so Jacky and I are here at McDonald's parking lot... we are sitting on top our car, we just enjoyed some apple-dippers and a Happy Meal.

''[Chris moves the doll as a child would when making a toy speak, and uses a [[sexism|shrill, high pitched voice]] while he [[Chris and reality|pretends Jacky is talking]].]''

''[As Jacky]'' ''[Unintelligible]''... if you'd like. Or even better... ''[Unintelligible]''...and I'd like that (?)

''[As himself]'' Yes, it was very enjoyable. Very good... So Jacky-pie, what'cha wanna do now?

''[As Jacky]'' I say we make out. ''[Unintelligible]''

''[As himself]'' Alright.

''[Chris then proceeds to give "Jacky" a deep, open-mouthed kiss in the public parking lot of a McDonald's. He reaches past her and clicks an iPod or a radio. "California Gurls" plays. Chris then moves the doll so that he his legs are wrapped around it, its legs around him. He makes out with it for a few seconds before doing a strange, [[gaybian|scissor-like]] sex act. He makes sex noises, switching between his voice and Jacky's. He kisses her again for a moment before returning to his strange humping. He then puts the doll on the hood of his car, turns the music off and rushes to the camera.''

Man, it's hot out here.

===Four===
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 4
| video =
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

to do

{{videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T20:46:47Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Three */ Transcribed.

[[File:Date.jpg|thumb|300px|A view of where Chris and "Jackie" did the do.]]
'''Chris and Jackie's Date''' is a four-video series of a date between Chris and [[Jackie]] (represented by a sex doll) leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. Their romantic date consists of dancing in [[Chris's room]], a trip in [[Son-Chu]] to get a [[McDonald's]], eating it in Chris's front yard and a thirty-second hump in what appears to be the changing room of a clothes store.

The videos were originally leaked as ''one0612-hioghuyiogyo [SaveYouTube.com], two0612-vgiherqighbvpioerua [SaveYouTube.com], three0612-rqwehgiohcnracga [SaveYouTube.com]'' and ''four0612-hncu9tgohaeruxye [SaveYouTube.com]''.

==Videos==
===One===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7dDfqaMMWxI}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And now, Jackie-pie, I'm gonna go ahead and sweep you off your feet.

''[Turns camera to sex doll]'' Even though right now, you're sitting down.
''[Sets camera up on a table and picks up "Jacky," swinging her around and making his own music of la's and da's, occasionally throwing in random phrases as lyrics.]''

''[He stops dancing and kisses the sex doll's lips (where his [[duck]] has inevitably been) and sets her down. He comes to turn the camera off.]''

===Two===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yKikDhuOE00}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And after having picked you up Jacky and giving you a good dance and song, we are now heading out to the restaurant. We're gonna have some fun on the car-- sitting on the car and eating our food. Yep. Yum yum. ''[Unintelligible]'' yum yum.

''[Proceeds to spend the rest of the video [[Random-access humor|making strange "wacka doo" noises]].]''

===Three===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BZCxX-VvEjU}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

''["Jackie" is sitting on the hood of Chris's car. Chris comes by and sits down, [[Obesity|making the car shake noticeably]].''
Okay, so Jacky and I are here at McDonald's parking lot... we are sitting on top our car, we just enjoyed some apple-dippers and a Happy Meal.

''[Chris moves the doll as a child would when making a toy speak, and uses a [[sexism|shrill, high pitched voice]] while he [[Chris and reality|pretends Jacky is talking]].]''

''[As Jacky]'' ''[Unintelligible]''... if you'd like. Or even better... ''[Unintelligible]''...and I'd like that (?)

''[As himself]'' Yes, it was very enjoyable. Very good... So Jacky-pie, what'cha wanna do now?

''[As Jacky]'' I say we make out. ''[Unintelligible]''

''[As himself]'' Alright.

''[Chris then proceeds to give "Jacky" a deep, open-mouthed kiss in the public parking lot of a McDonald's. He reaches past her and clicks an iPod or a radio. "California Gurls" plays. Chris then moves the doll so that he his legs are wrapped around it, its legs around him. He makes out with it for a few seconds before doing a strange, [[gaybian|scissor-like]] sex act. He makes sex noises, switching between his voice and Jacky's. He kisses her again for a moment before returning to his strange humping. He then puts the doll on the hood of his car, turns the music off and rushes to the camera.''

Man, it's hot out here.

===Four===
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 4
| video =
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Green tomgirl
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

to do

{{videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T20:32:37Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Two */ Transcripted

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T20:20:51Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Transcript */ minor italics error

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T20:19:35Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* One */ Transcripted

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T20:09:22Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Transcript */ Fixed another few typos in transcript

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. The poem is about Chris [[pedofork|stalking a deer]] and then fucking it. The deer represents Jacky; this was obvious, but Chris feels the need to [[autism|explicitly say this]] at the end. Interestingly, he constantly refers to Jacky as a Red-Maned [[homo|Deer]] rather than a doe. He does, once say "doe," but then goes right back to saying "deer."

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet grace and style in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flare.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike (?) majestic. She has eyes green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and speaks (?) like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and her father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Chris.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you for all these months. I've watched you as you rested, in dine (?) of the forest roots. And like ''[unintelligible]'', please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with erect elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]]. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few pure, unadulterated seconds of [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lense as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T20:05:29Z

Zaptotheextreme: Links

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. The poem is about Chris [[pedofork|stalking a deer]] and then fucking it. The deer represents Jacky; this was obvious, but Chris feels the need to [[autism|explicitly say this]] at the end. Interestingly, he constantly refers to Jacky as a Red-Maned [[homo|Deer]] rather than a doe. He does, once say "doe," but then goes right back to saying "deer."

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet grace and style in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flare.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike (?) majestic. She has eyes green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and speaks (?) like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and her father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Chris.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you for all these months. I've watched you as you rested, in dine (?) of the forest roots. And like ''[unintelligible]'', please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with erect elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few seconds of pure, unadulterated seconds of [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lense as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T20:03:47Z

Zaptotheextreme: Fixed errors

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. The poem is about Chris stalking a deer and then fucking it. The deer represents Jacky; this was obvious, but Chris feels the need to explicitly say this. at the end.Interestingly, he constantly refers to Jacky as a Red-Maned Deer rather than a doe. He does, once say "doe," but then goes right back to saying "deer."

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet grace and style in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flare.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike (?) majestic. She has eyes green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and speaks (?) like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and her father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Chris.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you for all these months. I've watched you as you rested, in dine (?) of the forest roots. And like ''[unintelligible]'', please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with erect elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few seconds of pure, unadulterated seconds of [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lense as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T20:03:05Z

Zaptotheextreme: Added to summary

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. The poem is about Chris stalking a deer and then [[fucking it|sex]]. The deer represents Jacky; this was obvious, but Chris feels the need to [[explicitly say this|autism]] at the end.Interestingly, he constantly refers to Jacky as a Red-Maned [[Deer|Homo]] rather than a doe. He does, once say "doe," but then goes right back to saying "deer."

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet grace and style in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flare.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike (?) majestic. She has eyes green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and speaks (?) like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and her father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Chris.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you for all these months. I've watched you as you rested, in dine (?) of the forest roots. And like ''[unintelligible]'', please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with erect elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few seconds of pure, unadulterated seconds of [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lense as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T19:59:53Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Transcript */ typo fixes

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet grace and style in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flare.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike (?) majestic. She has eyes green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and speaks (?) like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and her father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Chris.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you for all these months. I've watched you as you rested, in dine (?) of the forest roots. And like ''[unintelligible]'', please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with erect elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few seconds of pure, unadulterated seconds of [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lense as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T19:58:56Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Video */ Transcripted. Some words were hard to understand, someone help me out.

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet grace and style in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flare.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike (?) majestic. She has eyes green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and speaks (?) like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and her father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Chris.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you for all these months. I've watched you as you rested, in dine (?) of the forest roots. And like ''[unintelligible]'', please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with erect elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few seconds of pure, unadulterated [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lense as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

Cheerleader

2012-02-25T19:33:04Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Video */ Tried my best with the transcript.

'''Cheerleader''' is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris acts as a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]] for Jackie, wearing a tank top and [[Tomgirl Saga|denim skirt]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Cheerleader
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xQzUIZv4Xls}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Yellow tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris steps out, in tomgirl garb and pom poms. He does some awkward shakes of the pom poms and some knee-kicks.]''
Rah rah ree! Kick 'em in the knee! Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!

''[Chris unsuccessfully tries to spell 'KICK" with his body.]''

Just a little warm up!

''[He doesn't even try to get the letters right in his movements anymore as he indulges in a series of kicks.]''

J! A! C! K! Y! Who's that girl who can't be beat? Jacky! Jacky! Who's that girl who-- she's so sweet! Jacky! Jacky!

''[Chris moves toward the camera, his mouth not moving, to reveal that he's either dubbed over his movements or he just can't render a video for shit.]''

==See also==

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Chris's birthday

2012-02-25T02:43:57Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* 18th */ I changed "alcohol" to "strip clubs;" he would still have been below drinking age in America.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|[[Homo|Chris blows.]]]]

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!"|Chris, on being nearly 30.}}

'''[[Chris]]'s birthday''', 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|wanting his birthday to be a national holiday]]) warrants some inspection.

==Notable birthdays==

[[Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg|thumb|Chris's best birthday EVER!]]

===17th===
Chris receives a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF1n1AxK1Dg Pro200] handheld game console, and is photographed looking visibly disappointed while holding it. He also draws "[[Bionic]] Over Autism.", which would later be included in Sonichu 6, and creates Espanolic, which would later be seen on his [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover project]] for school.

===18th===
While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a Sega Dreamcast. While he did have something of a party, it was very much the kind thrown for small children — composed of thrown-together decor, last-minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]] as guests. No strip clubs, no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever. The great importance of this event apparently warranted recording as a story, "[[My big 18th party]]".

===[[Alcohol|21st]]===
[[Image:0603-CWC21Note.jpg|thumb|And now the worst...]]
If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[PVCC|college]] [[English]] class by his professor. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]] — Chris's enduring search for someone that will [[Barbara_Chandler|put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity]].

===23rd===
Chris documented this birthday in an issue of [[News_Dash#Chris.27s_23rd_Birthday|''Sonichu's News Dash'']]. It took place at the mall and was attended by his parents, as well as "a couple of his new-found gal-pals, who all already have Boyfriends, or are otherwise undatable, due to her religion." He was treated like a child and loved every second of it.

===25th===
[[Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|thumb|Chris's 25th birthday and [[DVD]] launch party.]]
To celebrate this milestone, Chris recorded an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|IMPORTANT MESSAGE]], inspiring girls, boys, and dudes of all teenages with the many lessons he has learned from his quarter-century of experience.

===27th===
Chris's 27th birthday coincided with the burial of his late [[Aunt Corrina]]. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to [[Obesity|stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes]] instead of [[Chris_and_death|mourning]] the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a [[Mumble 9|Mumble chat]] about how Aunt Corrina ruined his special day by selfishly dying. He also received some birthday money, which he used to fund his [[Ohio trip|road trip to Ohio]].

===28th===
Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|called in and congratulated him]], being the all-around nice guy that he is. Chris [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#Hey.2C_Vivian_.E2.80.94_11_February|had been saving $100]] to pay for a prostitute as a birthday present for himself, but he ultimately abandoned that idea after [[The Wallflower]] became his friend and he assumed he would be allowed to have sex with her for free.

===29th===
The events were unknown due to his hiatus from [[the Internet]], but somewhere around this time is when Chris began to [[Tomgirl pictures|embrace his feminine side]].

* '''''Sonichu'' Canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] is distributed into the world's water supply on this day.

===30th===

Chris will enter his fourth decade in [[2012]]. The [[28 October 2011]] crimes will still cast a shadow.

==Birthday Gallery: Witness the Evolution==
<center><gallery>
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|Age 5: Cute kid, right?
Image:0092-Christians14th.jpg|Age 14
Image:0406-ChristianIs17-4.jpg|Age 17
Image:0491-CWC18th23.jpg|Age 18
Image:0583-CWC19-2.jpg|Age 19
Image:0599-CWC20-4.jpg|Age 20
Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|Age 21
Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|Age 22
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|Age 23
Image:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg|Age 24
Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|Age 25
Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|Age 26: Cute kid, right?
File:Chris27a.PNG|Age 27<ref>[[Ode to Julie]]</ref>
File:Chris27.PNG|Age 28<ref>[[Christian Love Day (video)]]</ref>
File:TG9.jpg|Age 29
File:1328397527051.jpg|Age 30
</gallery></center>

=="Christian Love Day"==
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|The Christian Love Day Declaration (which is totally TRUE and HONEST, and not a [[things Chris has ripped off|rip-off]] at all).]]
Many people see their birthday as a day of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be [[Ego|focused on him too]]. First seen in the [[CWC Blog]], "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentine's Day, but celebrated exclusively by [[Homo|STRAIGHT]] folk. In the [[Mailbag]], he clarified he "feels like" it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because [[Reality|he wills it]] and it's also Mexican Flag Day. However, Chris provides no details on how to celebrate, nor does he put any effort into garnering publicity beyond [[Christian Love Day|one lone video]].

In [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], the holiday gains slightly more credence, along with some disturbing moral stipulations. It is on this day that the homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and [[ego]]). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of its denouement would be nationally recognized, or he [[Reality|has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality]].

==References==
<references/>
{{Year}}
[[Category:Events]]

The Incredible Lioness

2012-02-20T22:15:04Z

Zaptotheextreme: Added that the Incredible Lioness is most likely ripped off of the Werehog.

{{merge|Rosechu}}

[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes feminism is.]]

{{quote|When feeling the [[Chris and Anger|MOST Enraged]], MOST Distraught, MOST Stressed Out beyond Belief, Rosechu will recollect why she is feeling this way, then she will transform into The Incredible Lioness|[[Cwcipedia]] article, looks like Chris has made a decent character who reflects on the world around them}}
{{quote|If her clothes are not nearby when she is fully recovered and rested, the poor woman will have to rush home as quickly as possible to clean up and put on clean clothes, or find some kind of material to make a set of makeshift clothes for the trek back home. |same paragraph, looks like Chris has made another [[rule 34]]}}

'''The Incredible Lioness''' is the horrible monstrosity that [[Rosechu]] transforms into in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] to facerape the comic incarnation of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. Little information is given in the comic itself, but Chris gives further details on the [[CWCipedia]]. Seemingly analogous to [[Ultra Sonichu]], rather than gaining power from exposure to [[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystals]], Rosechu simply gains tremendous strength through [[stress]], closer to [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|The Incredible Hulk]] than anything else; however, Chris most likely meant to rip off [[Sonic]]'s "Werehog" transformation from ''Sonic Unleashed''. Because she's a [[women's rights|woman]] she can't control herself when she gets into a rage, and the only way to calm her is to tell her that she's pretty, or whatever bullshit Chris means by "make amends with deepest apologies, heavy flattery, and promising to do as she wishes".<ref name="Rosechu article">[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#.28Temporary_Transformation.29_The_Incredible_Lioness CWCipedia - The Incredible Lioness]</ref> This does not happen in her sole appearance in the comic, where she calms down immediately after her attempt at mutilation and murder. The process also completely destroys her clothes, and she has to have the foresight to know she's about to go into a blind, unstoppable rage and remove the clothing, or just put on some makeshift clothes later to compensate. How and why her clothes are destroyed isn't clear; Rosechu removes her clothing herself the one time she transforms, but there's no evidence to suggest she grew larger or otherwise went through some sort of transformation that would have damaged her clothes in any significant way. As well, the fact that she ''needs'' clothes is a bit of an odd point, since several of the Rosechus never wear more than shoes, so a lack of clothing hardly seems to be an issue for the species.

Chris also clarifies that only the True and Original Rosechu can transform, <ref name="Rosechu article" /><ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref> meaning if [[Bubbles]] gets really pissed at someone, she's just shit out of luck. One could argue that this is due to Rosechu's parentage; according to Chris, she was sired by [[Wikipedia:Luxray|Luxray]],<ref name="Rosechu article" /> a lion-esque type of [[Pokémon]]. Since this makes sense, it's highly unlikely that it was ever intended by him.

As you may have guessed, Chris created the Incredible Lioness in an attempt to show his support for [[Women's rights]].

[[Image:TILCircus.jpg|thumb|Roll up! Roll up!]]

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

In the climax of [[Episode 17]]: ''Rage Against The Garbage'', Rosechu and [[Sonichu]] travel to Floor 66+6 of [[4-cent_garbage.com]] to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] about the [[ED]] page. Their main concern is the [[troll]] fan art of Rosechu with a [[duck]], which Sonichu innocently interprets as a simple misunderstanding. Jason outright refuses to take down the ED page, and throws Sonichu to the floor. But this is not what triggers Rosechu's transformation, oh no. As the pair leave, having failed in their quest, Jason has the audacity to throw a [[pickle]] at Rosechu.

It strikes her, dead-center, on the back of the head. She picks it up and crushes it in a fist, as her mind fills with thoughts of violence and bizarrely ominous feminist diatribes, glorifying the creative power of the ovary. In spite of this supposed respect for the female being, Rosechu goes on to strip completely naked, exposing her breasts and vagina. (This is meant to be a children's comic, people.) At this point, she becomes The Incredible Lioness.

The Lioness leaps at Jason with murder in her red eyes. In what may be the most hideously explicit violence in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] [[Sonichu 10|up to that point]], she wraps her legs around his head, so that her [[China|vagina]] is pressed against his face - a move which was [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|probably copied]] from ''[[Anime|Kekko Kamen]]''. Then she tears a rip across his scalp, and bites down. In moments, Jason is near death (although dark forces keep him alive). As Rosechu reverts to standard form, she is close to fainting.

==References==
<references />

==See also==

*[[Rosechu]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu#.28Temporary_Transformation.29_The_Incredible_Lioness The Incredible Lioness' original article on the CWCipedia]
{{Template:Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Incredible Lioness}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2012-02-19T01:44:58Z

Zaptotheextreme: /* Comics */ I don't see any real reason to slam poor Sonic here.

{{quote|"Sonic the Hedgehog is my lifelong hero.|[[Christian Weston Chandler]].}}
[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a shitty recolor of beloved [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. [[Sega]]'s blatant plagiarism has given Chris [[Stress|many sleepless nights]].

Chris claims that Sonic has been his "life long hero"<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPv7MqvrDK0&feature=player_embedded#!</ref> since June [[1990]][''sic'']<ref>''Sonic the Hedgehog'' wasn't released until June [[1991]] - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Interestingly, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991.</ref>, replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|''Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'']], involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat [[Robotnik]], who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter contests (cf. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' Commercial]], [[Pixelated PS3]]) to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu]]. Chris's loyalty was so strong that he was visibly upset when told by bullies that Sonic was dead.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9|Jackie Chat #9]]</ref>

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to ''Sonic'' is unknown.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue #1, never mentioned again until [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], where [[Robbie]] sickeningly refers to him as "Uncle Sonic".

===Tails's lack of a role in the comics===
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since [[Wikipedia:Sonic The Hedgehog 2|''Sonic the Hedgehog II'']] was released in [[1992]] for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Master System|Sega Master System]]. He has been featured in almost every form of ''Sonic''-related media such as cartoons, anime, and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why neither he nor an idiot ripoff (likely named "Prowerlo Sonichu") has made an appearance in ''Sonichu''.
[[Image:0860-Cwcville9.JPG|thumb|He did make a lego version of tails.]]
Chris has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an [[Transformers|Autobot]] named "[[Prower]]". It is likely Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|thirteen-year-olds]] on [[GameFAQs|GameFAGs]] and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were a [[homos|gay]] couple. Chris said that "I just did not feel need for a Tails-like Character in the stories. I disagree with all the rumors against Tails; if you read the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Comic Book Series]] from Archie Comics, Tails gets a Girlfriend."<ref>[[Mailbag_21#Why no Tails?|Mailbag #21]]</ref> He later claims that he "did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic."<ref>[[Mailbag_38#Chris is an expert matchmaker|Mailbag #38]]</ref>
Despite this, Chris ''did'' create a Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails, though he only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]]. Tails also gets a mention in "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]", a Sonichu short story which predates the comics.

== Amy Rose ==
'''Amy Rose''' is a ''[[Sonic]]'' character created in [[1993]], making her first appearance in the game [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|''Sonic CD'']]. She serves as the self-proclaimed love interest of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. In fleshing out the world of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Chris quickly ripped off the character to serve as Sonichu's girlfriend, [[Rosechu]].

[[Image:Chrischan_traced.jpg|thumb|Yep, definitely different.]]

While Sonichu is essentially a recolor of Sonic with a Pikachu tail shoved up his ass, Rosechu is a much more direct rip-off. Like Amy Rose, Rosechu has green eyes and pink fur, with the spines on her head arranged to resemble a bob haircut. Both wear red boots and dresses, with Rosechu's having a blue trim in a slightly different pattern to Amy's white trim. Visually, the only obvious distinction between the two is the [[Raichu]] tail Rosechu has, and the spines on the center of Amy's forehead, which Rosechu lacks. It should be noted, however, that when Chris draws Amy, he [[Chris and art|fails]] to draw the forehead spines properly.

{{quote|MAJOR Differences between Amy and Rosie; Amy never had spikes on her back, the clothes are Different; Rosie’s Headband is White, not Red, and Rosechu has a modern girl kinda attitude, and lucky for her, Sonichu RARELY runs away from her charms. And, of course, she has her Electric-Type Attacks to boot.|Christian Weston Chandler, damning himself with [[The Sonichu Chronicles|faint praise]].}}

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose2.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Even Chris is bored with this sexist gabfest.]]

As Chris points out, the only real difference between Amy and Rosechu in terms of characterization is that while Amy's crush on Sonic is not reciprocated, Sonichu has been sucking face with Rosechu since the [[Sonichu 0|day they met]]. Obviously, this hardly marks a difference in their ''personality''. If anything, it says more about the differences between Sonic and Sonichu, since they respond differently to affection. Since she's already made her romantic conquest, Rosechu is free to pursue the life of a "modern girl", which apparently means [[Sonichu 8|face-raping people]] and producing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|amateur pornography]].

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Sheesh, they even think the same words.]]

As an epilogue to the Sonichu/Sonic team-up in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], Rosechu happens to meet Amy in [[CWCville Mall]]. With no hint of irony, the two remark upon how similar they are, and engage in a [[Women's Rights|vapid conversation about shopping and relationships]].

== Shadow the Hedgehog ==
Introduced in [[2001]]'s [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|''Sonic Adventure 2'']], '''Shadow the Hedgehog''' is an anti-hero version of Sonic the Hedgehog. Quickly becoming a fan favorite among the ''Sonic'' family of characters, it was only a matter of time before [[Chris]] decided to "create" another [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]...

Unlike [[Rosechu]], who is virtually identical to Amy in every relevant respect, [[Black Sonichu]] (Blake) only resembles Shadow in his color scheme and tenuous allegiance to the forces of evil. While Shadow is primarily motivated by his desire to learn about his mysterious past, Black Sonichu was informed of every aspect of his creation by [[Naitsirhc]]. Most notably, while Shadow is supposed to be a dark and edgy character, Black Sonichu is basically just a punk, committing blatant mischief for very transparent motives.

While this might seem to make Black Sonichu halfway original, it really only means that he's a poor copy of [[Sonichu]] instead of a slightly less poor copy of Shadow. Blake's only real claim to individuality was that he acted like an asshole; since falling for [[Bubbles]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he doesn't even have that going for him.

Shadow makes one appearance in the ''Sonichu'' canon when he shows up as a drummer for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]], but is later replaced by [[Punchy Sonichu]].

==Comics==
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|right|More likely than not a bigger inspiration than the games series itself.]]

Sonic comics are almost as numerous as the games themselves, pumped out at a whim for a buck (they even made ones specific for each region of the world.) The one Chris is familiar with is the one published by Archie Comics.

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with this comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie ''Sonic'' covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_comic_book_characters#Evil_Sonic.2FScourge_the_Hedgehog|Scourge the Hedgehog]], an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic, "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles", for the basis of some of his fight scenes, and one of the early shorts, entitled "Sonichu 25 Years Later," takes its name from a 2004 arc called "Mobius 25 Years Later." Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown. He has stated that he would like ''Sonichu'' to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat #6]]</ref> If Chris still reads it, it will probably be a source of plagiarism and mass-debating for years to come.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie ''Sonic'' comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%.]]

==Plagiarism==
To put it bluntly, Sonichu is a [[copyright]] infringement. Chris tries to work around this fact by claiming that Sonichu is a [[parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog, but Sonichu does not really derive humour or provide commentary on the original franchise.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 28.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with twenty years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Chris.
Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg|[[6 June 2010|Yep,]] [[Don't Mess With Me|that]] [[Sonichu 10|most]] [[Autism Tutorial Extra|certainly ]][[28 October 2011|taught]] [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|him.]]
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own [[Jimmy Hill|unlicensed ''Sonic'' merchandise]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.
Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Doctor Robotnik]]
* [[Chris and copyright]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] on [[Wikipedia]]

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]