https://sonichu.com/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=Barbaracles&feedformat=atom
CWCki - User contributions [en]
2024-03-29T09:47:51Z
User contributions
MediaWiki 1.37.6
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Nintendo_Power_Magazine&diff=190521
Nintendo Power Magazine
2015-10-24T02:19:31Z
<p>Barbaracles: /* Gallery */</p>
<hr />
<div>'''''Nintendo Power''''' was a magazine devoted to promoting [[Nintendo]]'s video games, consoles, and so on and so forth, as well as providing cheat codes, strategy guides, sneak peeks at upcoming releases, and anything else one might want to know about Nintendo products. It gave [[Chris]] and [[Sonichu]] their first glimpses of substantial coverage.<br />
<br />
Even though dozens of fans were featured in every issue in some form (fan art, fan mail, etc.), Chris firmly believes making into the magazine is an honor of the highest degree, and that the people over at the magazine actually remembered who he was from the five minutes of fame he had years ago. He also appears to believe that being featured in the magazine is a one way ticket to getting a job with Nintendo.<br />
<br />
It was first self-published by Nintendo of America, before switching to Future US in 2007. In [[December 2012]], the magazine ceased publication.<br />
<br />
==The hand-drawn magazine==<br />
{{main|Homemade Nintendo Power magazine}}<br />
<br />
Chris maintained constant mail contact with the magazine. One of his letters was about a dream he had where Sega made a [[Sonic]] game for the Game Boy. Chris then [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|freaking hand-drew his own issue of Nintendo Power]]. With pencils, marker, and printed-out, cut-and-pasted text, detailing how Sonic arbitrarily transferred to Nintendo consoles to release a trio of Sonic games. That are direct copies of existing Mario games. It's every bit as pathetic as it sounds. Notably, it's Chris's first major attempt at [[Sonichu (comic)|slavishly recreating a commercial product by hand]], as well as the first appearance of [[Bionic]] the Hedgehog.<br />
<br />
==The ''Sprung'' letter==<br />
Chris has had better luck with Nintendo correspondence as the years went by. Most infamous was his letter to Nintendo about how ''[[Sprung]]'', a pseudo-dating-sim for the DS, helped him get over his fear of girls with boyfriends. For about five minutes. Yes, once again, exactly as pathetic as it sounds.<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
{{quotenews|'''DS Equals Dating Service'''<br />
<br />
I recently purchased a Nintendo DS and a copy of Sprung. I originally bought the game, because I needed some lessons on what to say to, or do for, a girl. To make a long story short, I developed a fear that all the pretty girls are already paired up with a boyfriend. I’ve dubbed this social phobia, Noviophobia, after the Spanish word for boyfriend. Anyway, before Sprung, I was afraid to approach most women (FYI, I’m 22-years old). I tried to silently attract a boyfriend-free girl, mostly with signs, for over one year and four months. Then Sprung provided me with general things to say and do, so I felt more confident. When I tried my new-found expressions from the dating simulator, I forgot my fear of the infinitely high boyfriend factor, and I met a couple of lady friends with whom I feel more comfortable. So thank you, Nintendo and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed.<br />
<br />
Christian C.<br />
<br />
Via the Internet}}<br />
<br />
==The Animal Crossing documentary==<br />
<br />
Chris also got some airplay in Nintendo Power for his jaw-dropping [[Animal Crossing Documentary|video about his daily life in ''Animal Crossing'']]. ''Nintendo Power'' heaped praise upon the terrible little Let's Play, focusing more on Chris's character Sonichu (gee, what a surprise) and his in-game accomplishments than the lonesome manchild behind the mask or why he was called Sonichu. Nonetheless, Chris took this as a great stride forward in his quest to achieve video game superstardom without having to exert any effort or develop any kind of skill. Pathetic? Yes, you've picked up on the pattern.<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''<br />
<br />
Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!<br />
<br />
''(Image captions:)''<br />
<br />
Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.<br />
<br />
He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.<br />
<br />
And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.<br />
<br />
Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.}}<br />
<br />
It seems incredible, but someone was actually paid to watch Chris's video for an hour and then write about it. Note that many of the unique achievements mentioned are actually basic functions of the game any six year old can discover.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<br />
<gallery><br />
File:390-NPVol179.jpg|A scrapbook image.<br />
File:394-NPVol190.jpg|Another scrapbook image<br />
File:393-CWCSprung.jpg|Now if only the women weren't afraid of him...<br />
File:Nintendochris.JPG|Chris explains that he has "[[noviophobia|noviophobia]]" [sic].<br />
File:389-CWCSchuCross.jpg|Yay!<br />
</gallery><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]<br />
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]<br />
*''[[Sprung]]''<br />
<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris%27s_lies&diff=184791
List of Chris's lies
2015-04-06T05:12:33Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".<br />
<br />
In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).<br />
<br />
The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].<br />
<br />
Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.<br />
<br />
As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.<br />
<br />
This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.<br />
<br />
==Chris's lies==<br />
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]". In the same call he claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawnmower]] to do it.<br />
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref><br />
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."<br />
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/><br />
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]<br />
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).<br />
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.<br />
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.<br />
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.<br />
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.<br />
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref><br />
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.<br />
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref><br />
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.<br />
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].<br />
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.<br />
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].<br />
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.<br />
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.<br />
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.<br />
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.<br />
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns &mdash; this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.<br />
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.<br />
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.<br />
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].<br />
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].<br />
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.<br />
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] &mdash; a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).<br />
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.<br />
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.<br />
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).<br />
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.<br />
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref><br />
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref><br />
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.<br />
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her. <br />
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref><br />
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.<br />
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.<br />
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.<br />
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Lists}}<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
[[Category:Lists]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)&diff=178014
Chris chan (CWCipedia)
2014-12-30T17:07:23Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about the annotated [[ED]] page made by Chris and posted on [[CWCipedia]]. For details on Chris-chan himself, please see [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. For details on the ED forum about Chris, please see [[Chris-chan (forum)]].''<br />
<br />
The '''Chris chan''' article on the [[CWCipedia]] was an entry Chris uploaded to his wiki on 17-18 [[December 2009]] in order to "correct" most of Chris's article on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].<br />
<br />
Chris did not simply copy and paste the text from the ED article; he retyped it completely, as he admitted at the beginning of his version. As result, there are several typos in his version that were not in the version of the ED article that he copied. In addition, Chris omitted several paragraphs entirely from his version of the article, including one about the [[Medallion of Fail]] and another that concerned slanderous mockeries, such as the [[nudes]] and [[sex tape]] (although he later acknowledged [[For Julie's Eyes Only|the Kimmi video]] in one of his comments).<br />
<br />
It also confirms that Chris [[Autism|cannot understand subtlety]]. Parts of the page which are obviously not meant as serious (such as him being a [[Molvania|communist]]) are taken seriously, while the 4Chan meme jokes fly right over his head. Further, while some aspects of the page could be considered personal opinions (and in some rare cases, Chris actually did correct parts of the article for truth, such as how many [[attraction locations]] he was kicked out from), most of Chris's "corrections" are blatant lies.<br />
<br />
Immediately after typing this, Chris demanded that the CWCipedia [[ChrisChanSonichu_and_WikiSysop_correspondence#The_revised_ED_Page|Sysop]] to copy over all the hyperlinks from the original ED article so Chris can add those to his own wiki.<br />
<br />
== Note that... ==<br />
<br />
* Rather than censoring it, Chris bolds the statement saying that he's [[homo]]phobic.<br />
* Another doubtless fact: According to Chris's bolding, Chris also denies that Leviticus forbade [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaving]], wearing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear with elastic straps]], or [[Sonic|crossbreeding]] [[Pikachu|animals]].<br />
* As for religious tolerance, Chris bolds the statement that he is a [[Chris and religion|"prolific hater of all things not Christian"]]. Yes, he himself confirmed that as a fact.<br />
* He bolds the statement accusing him of creating several sockpuppet accounts on ED to vandalize his ED page. He then reiterates that the reason behind his ED edits, which were the main cause of his subsequent downfall, was a [[Honor Roll|bizarrely ignorant]] belief that an "Information Overload" (i.e. "adding a lot of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|shitty porn pics]] and other self-compromising info") would somehow take his ED page down.<br />
* He unfoundedly denies that he failed in his war against [[ED]] and other [[Troll]] sites, and then bolds that his plea to his [[Trolls|"fans"]] to not donate to ED failed. <br />
*He refuses to admit that his nonexistent [[True and Loyal Fanbase|Sonichu fans]] are [[Trolls|nonexistent]], and that his "fans" didn't bring ED down (completely ignoring the subsequent explanation that it was caused by an issue related to the website as a whole)... and then bolds a completely unexpected revelation: that [[True and Loyal Fanbase|the only people who pay attention to Chris]] are ED donors.<br />
* To top all of this, Chris sadly bolds that his reactions to [[Trolls|trolling]] always make things worse.<br />
* Chris surprisingly bolds a statement saying that Mary Lee Walsh was reasonable to assume that Chris was publicly soliciting for [[Hanky-panky|sex]]. Getting back to Earth, he then quickly tries to correct himself, adding that he was not soliciting "anything Other Than Honest [[Gal-pal|Friendship]], that would etc. etc"... thus actually admitting to being a solicitor.<br />
* Chris has generously "forgiven" [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for her past "misdeeds". He also tells us that she tried to ask Chris unofficially not to loiter on [[Attraction Location|college grounds]], but the Chandlers chose to not accept her letter. <br />
*Chris bolds that he still blames [[ED]] for breaking him up with [[Megan]], despite knowing full well that [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|the image that ended their friendship]] was dreamt up, drawn, colored, scanned and uploaded to ED by himself. He also (finally!) admits, by bolding it, that Megan was never his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].<br />
* Chris denies that he changes [[sweethearts]] frequently. He also bolds that [[Blanca]] was [[Troll|real]], and adds that he [[Naive|trusted her]], and that he [[Lie|"dumped her sorry ass"]] after "she" destroyed his [[Medallion of Fail]].<br />
* He also expresses his belief that there is absolutely no difference between making a conversation with a [[BlueSpike|9-year-old girl]] and a [[Julie|grown-up woman]].<br />
* He bolds that he wouldn't date an autistic, high-functioning or otherwise. The explanation is that he doesn't want to date [[Autism|''high-functioning'' autistic]] women because he "may be seeing a mirror" reflecting what he would become if he were a [[Slow-in-the-minds|''low-functioning'' autistic]]. To recap: he thinks that a ''high-functioning'' autistic woman acts like Chris would if he were ''low-functional''. Is he being [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] or just [[Women's Rights|sexist]]?<br />
* He admits that his parents finally advised him [[Honest Content|not to tell every woman he meets]] that he's a [[Virgin with Rage]]. FINALLY.<br />
* At first Chris vehemently denies that he owns [[Kimmi|blow-up sex dolls]]. Then he bolds the statements about him owning a sex doll, taking part in all those [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"JULAAAY!"]] shenanigans, and buying [[sex toys]] and porn vids since [[2003]]. Then in yet another comment he confirms that he purchased straight porn and sex dolls.<br />
* Chris reveals that his vast knowledge about sex and relationships stems from MORE than just watching [[Rule 34|porn]]! His other sources include: [[Date Ed|Sex Ed]], [[I Love Lucy|chick flicks]], [[gal-pals]]' advice, and something called "Relationship Management courses".<br />
* Then announces that he knows about [[Chris and sex|sex]] and [[Love Quest|relationships]] "a LOT" more than any "God-D***ed [[Troll]]" will ever know... including, you know, trolls who are actually [[JERKS|in relationships]] and are not [[Virgin with Rage|Virgins with Rage]]...<br />
* The [[Geinus|guru]] continues to open our eyes, saying that everything we knew about relationships & sex is wrong! "Because while they ONLY think they know or even understand, they Really Do Not Understand At All; THEY ARE DUMBA**ES!"<br />
* Chris [[Naive|bolds]] all excessive positive epithets used in the [[ED]] article as [[Parody|irony]]. He then denies that he has any [[Chris and his Ego|unwarranted self-importance]]. However, a few paragraphs later, he expresses his honest belief that [[Chris and his Ego|actual real-world people would build a city in Virginia named "CWCville" and a "CWCville Mall" in this city, and dedicate them to Chris]].<br />
* Chris also bolds a confession that he "[[Life Upgrade|upgrades]]" his self-confidence by using vitamins.<br />
* He also bolds that [[Minor CWC-isms#Cosmos|HE CAN FEEL THE COSMOS]]!<br />
* Chris also denies several times... that [[CWCville]] is imaginary and fictional. [[Chris and reality|OH. MY. GOD.]]<br />
<br />
=The Actual Article=<br />
<br />
'''From Christian Weston Chandler,'''<br />
<br />
**Finally, the [[Lies|Truth]], False and the Exaggerated are Personally Sorted out from that which has plagued me since November, 2007. I will be retyping the paragraphs of the page verbatim, but with the following additions,<br />
<br />
**'''Bold Statements [[Honest Content|are TRUE without question]].'''<br />
**<s>Striked Statements</s> [[List of Chris's lies|are FALSE without question]].<br />
**Statements that are Neither '''Bold''' or <s>Striked</s> will be personally explained in ''(Parenthesis with Italtics)'', or otherwise are personal commentary in few other portions.<br />
**Portions of the Titles of the segments will be <s>striked</s> appropriately for content and exaggerations.<br />
**And all curse and dirty words [[CWC-isms|will be appropriately censored]].<br />
**'''[[April 16 Fetish Vids|Reader Supervision]]/[[For Julie's Eyes Only|Discretion is Advised.]]'''<br />
<br />
**Also, I purposely have not, and will not, include all images and their comments in this page for content purposes of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|portryals of nudity]], wrongful-types of [[parody]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|retardness]] and stupidity, and such.<br />
<br />
**Should any new text come up on that ED page that are not in this page after full completion appear, or if you have any questions about it, please send those notes and questions to the [[Mailbag]], and I will address them appropriately then.<br />
<br />
**So, without further ado, here is Encyclopedia Dramatica's "Chris_chan" page, Personally Edited.<br />
--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 23:44, 17 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
==Behold, <s>the Mistake of God:</s> Christian Weston Chandler. ''(The Only Mistake of God were THE PEOPLE who contributed to the Original E.D. Page)''==<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Born February 24, [[1982]], Christian is''' a <s>[[naive]], [[Chris and sex|perverse]],</s> [[Obesity|overweight]] ''(I am working on losing the belly)'' <s>[[Niggos|racist]], [[Pedofork|pedophilic]],</s> '''[[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|homophobic]]''' <s>un</s>'''patriotic'''<s>communist b******, self-proclaimed</s> '''high-functioning autistic virgin [[Chris's room|man'''<s>-child</s>''']], and creator of his own skillfully-drawn series of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] starring [[Sonichu]] - his supremely insightful crossover of [[Pokemon|Pikachu]] and [[Sonic]]. As well as "suffering" from [[Chris and English|atuisim]]''' ''([[Autism#Autism_cured.3F|which I still am for real]])'', <s>Chris also suffers from a sever case of [[Chris and his Ego|unwarranted self-importance]], the only cure for which would be to remove his head from his consequently gaping a**. At the time of this writing, Chris has found neither the time nor the conviction to do so.</s> ''(What the Hell is WRONG with these people?)''<br />
<br />
'''Other names for Chris-Chan include: CWC ''(Christian Weston Chandler)'', クリスちゃん, [[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]''', <s>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Ian Brandon Something]], The Impostor, [[Sammy]], Antonio, [[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]] or any other lulzy names trolls can make up for him, which will make him throw a [[Chris and anger|tantrum]].</s><br />
<br />
But it gets far worse, my friends... ''(For that ED Page, that is, LOL. Although, F.Y.I., '''"LULZ" is short for "[[Laughs Under Lucricities]]"''')''<br />
<br />
==Chris in Person ''(From THEIR Point of View)''==<br />
<br />
<br />
It is of utmost importance that, before one ever enters a fixed one-mile radius around Christian Weston Chandler's [[Ruckersville, VA]] habitat, one is well-acquainted with the facts regarding this man's ''(HERE COMES SOME REAL TORTURED VIEWS OF OPINIONS)'' <s>bleak existence, and the mortal and immediate danger that one's proximity to him represents, bot to one's mental and physical well-being. In order to maintain his jaw-droppingly destrucive lifestyle, as we will explore,</s> Chris has had to sacrifice any of the normal human customs practiced in modern society, and seems to have synthesized an entirely new list of traits which he believes better-equips him to indulge in his trademark fantastical escapism via invented comic book characters, <s>[[Kimmi|blow-up]] [[Sex toys|sex dolls]], and [[Chris and his Ego|egomania]].</s> ''(Such of my personal views do help make life more easier in my point of view, and the few considerably "Sacrificed Normal Human Customs", I.M.H.O, would be constant eye-contact with most people, self-confidence ('''Which is being UPGRADED with "[[IPods Down and Listen Up|Stock Market Rising]]" Vitamins of A and D''') in meeting people unassisted by others and internet, and being stuck on Routines of which new ones can be included with good, constant practice on my part.)'' To wit:<br />
<br />
**<s>He rarely shuts up about [[Sonichu]],</s> the self-endorsed, self-authored and mind-nubing allegory of Chris's life, as viewed through his own massive, [[1985]]-throwback rose-tinted glasses. ''(Sonichu's life is [[Sonichu#Sonichu_as_a_Mary_Sue|different from my own]], so I do not consider his life to be equivalent to mine, Also, Sonichu is NOT Autistic. And I DO talk about a lot of OTHER topics that come to mind; I do have a real life and I stay in tune to current topics now and then.)''<br />
**<s>His skin and [[Hair|hair]] is covered in a semi-permeable and self-renewing film of grease; not incomparable to an arctic permafrost of dead skin cells and sweat, proving definitively that he never showers.</s> ''(I Shower Daily and Thoroughly.)''<br />
**He wears recycled shirts from the Salvation Army ''(And Goodwill, but I also wear [[Chris and fashion|clothing]] that were purchased from fine stores such as Sears, JCPenny, American Eagle, Pacific Sunwear, etc)'' <s>and believes it's a cause for gloating.</s> He really believes in [[Semen#Recycling|recycling]]. ''(The ususal Paper, Metal and Plastic products that appropriately go to Recycling Sites in and around Charlottesville, VA)'' <s>That is, he really really really believes in recycling. He recycles everything.</s> ''(Obvious Exaggerations from their P.O.V.)''<br />
**His scent is <s>a combination</s> of [[Axe|AXE]] ''(and good clean practices of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|daily showers with soap, shampoo and water]], and sometimes the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|natural body oders]])'' <s>and A** (oversprayed, of course).<br />
**He leaves the toilet seat up.</s> ''(I put the seat back down for consideration of the women.)''<br />
**'''[[CWC Update 9 April 2009|HE CAN FEEL THE COSMOS!]]''' ''(I did say that for [[Ivy]], and I will stand by the quote.)''<br />
**In the event that you are able to speak to Chris, you should be prepared to encouter ''(Pleasant, clean and intelligent conversations with no pressure for anything other than being friendly)'' <s>wave after wafe of weak, juvenile aspersions cast in the hopes of making you forget just how abysmal Chris's life really is, along with creepy, probing questions about your personal life in regards to relationships with women.</s> This is because '''Chris is still''' <s>vainly</s> '''searching for a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]], years after first causing a''' <s>s***storm</s> ''(minor mishap)'' '''by walking into a [[Fashion Square Mall|local mall]] while in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Community College]], and advertising his desire for women via [[Attraction Sign|hand-held signage]].'''<br />
<br />
Lastly: ''(Thank God these S.O.B.s are almost finished with this list)''<br />
<br />
**<s>Once he starts stalking a woman, he'll tenaciously track her down, even if she's really an IRL troll, a 4chan troll or just doesn't exist.</s><br />
**'''He''' <s>ALWAYS</s> '''[[honest content|mentions]] he's a [[virgin with rage|virgin]]''' <s>when he meets women. (I'm dead serious.)</s> ''(Nowadays for a LONG TIME, after being advised by [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] and [[Bob Chandler|dad]], I keep that statement private.)''<br />
<br />
==<s>IRL Stalker</s> ''(Or so they Wrongfully Claim)''==<br />
<br />
<br />
'''''(For the record, I am not, and I never was, a stalker)'''''<br />
<br />
'''On [[MySpace]], Chris posted his quest for a "[[boyfriend-free girl]]"''' <s>and his stalking tendencies.</s> '''Unfortunately for him, every woman on the planet appears to have a boyfriend. This has led to what Chris dubs "[[noviophobia]]" - in Chris's <s>b******ized</s> '''hogh school Spanish interpretation, inserts "novio" which essentially means "boyfriend", before latin root, "phobia", <s>committing a facepalm-worty portmanteau that is almost nonsensical enough to make you forget that of all things in the world, Chris has a paralyzing fear of boyfriends.</s> '''Chris claims to hate every male besides himself and his father,''' ''(And Santa Clause, [[Chris_and_religion#Concept_of_God_.28or:_GodJesus.29|Jesus, God]], the [[Barack Obama|President of the United States]], all the World Leaders, and ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.)'' '''because they "took all the pretty girls leaving him with no one to choose from."''' ''(The fear is Out-Of-Date, because I got over that months ago. I am cool with that theory, and the only [[JERKS|males]] I hate are those that are [[Trolls]] and those who truly hate me back.)''<br />
<br />
'''He employed his famous "looking for a boyfriend-free girl" sign in two places:''' ''(actually Four Places; a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and a [[Target]] in addition to the following two)'' '''[[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the Fashion Square Shopping Center]] and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. The dean, [[Mary Lee Walsh|mary Lee Walsh]], reasonably assumed that Chris was publicly soliciting for sex,''' ''(Of which I was Not Soliciting for anything Other Than Honest Friendship that would become a True Honest [[sweetheart from the ground up|Sweetheart Relationship over reasonable time]])'' '''had the sign destroyed''' ''(She destroyed this one sign Herself)'' '''and banned from the school for a year. Since then, he became obsessed with her''' ''(But I have got over the obsession recently.)'' '''and depicts her within his comic as a''' <s>bald</s> '''witch with a viking helmet, a pitchfork, a scepter''' ''(Which contains her accomplice of evil)'' <s>to contain her evil anti-love powers,</s> ''(The character, [[Slaweel Ryam]], has her powers within her own person)'' '''and occasionally a broomstick.'''<br />
<br />
'''Chris has also shown [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|his hatred towards Mary]] on [[Mary Lee Walsh#Coping mechanisms|several other occasions.]]''' ''(I had [[One Blessing, and One Curse|forgiven Miss Mary Lee Walsh]] for her past misdeeds, as y'all will remember, I had drawn the [[:Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|apology drawing]], made the commentary notes on being nice to her here on the Cwcipedia, even the references to her book among other notable achievements. Yet she has not accepted my apology, and even UNOFFICIALLY left an enveloped note in my front door, which was NEVER OPENED or ACCEPTED, of Trespassing on "her property" of Piedmont Virgina Community College. My family and I later learned of the contents of the envelope over phone call conversations. So, as far as it is concerned, [[Chris and the Law|NO Trespassing Notice was EVER accepted]]. '''I mean, that is some "Thank You" for coming over personally to Apologize and Make Peace with my Gesture of Goodwill being the FRAMED Hand-Drawn Apology.''' That woman's Real-Life Mean-Spirited Attitude has made her out to be a Mean B****. *sigh* But I still forgive her for all that anyway.)'' [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|'''He made a hilarious video''' <s>asking for</s> ''(having)'' '''fictional character Harvey''' <s>Dirdban's (not</s> '''Birdman's'''<s>)</s> '''assistance to fight "THAT EVIL''' <s>B****</s> '''MARY LEE WALSH''' <s>FOREVAR!!1</s>]] '''in a contest for Adult Swim. He also made a video of him [[Soul Calibur#Watch Chris fight Mary Lee Walsh|fighting Mary Lee Walsh as a custom character in Soul Calibur III]]. Despite his hate for Walsh, he still took the time with his Magic Markers to make hideous pron of her.''' ''(Yes, I did, within a set of Five adult-oriented sexual drawing I originally drew AS PROTEST AGAINST THE ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA PAGE. The act would later be portrayed similarly as Rosechu's Protest against "[[4-Cent Garbage]]".)''<br />
<br />
'''Chris's Love Quest was also foiled by ''"''[[Jerkop|Security Guards]]''"'' of [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. He was handcuffed and kicked out by ''These'' Jerkops (half jerk, half cops) "for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl".'''<br />
<br />
'''Christian''' <s>claims to have</s> '''started his''' <s>ill-begotten</s> '''love quest, because he wants a daughter whom he will dubly call [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (apparently after the illustrious metal). he made ''Renditions of'' her in the form of one of his [[My Little Pony]] figures''' <s>(from his own [[Hair|pugic hair]], mind you),</s> ''(I used Thread that one can find in stores everywhere by the fabrics and crafts)'' '''and made a separate file in the game, [[Animal Crossing]], and played as her.'''<br />
<br />
'''The person we know the most about is [[Megan Schroeder]]''' <s>(note the Jewish name, a sign that gold is involved),</s> '''who had a''' <s>huge</s> '''influence on the comic and Chris himself.''' <s>She remarked that the antagonist of one of the Sailor Moon movies came off as a "kind of q****", possibly influencing Chris's homophobia.</s><br />
<br />
'''One example of the Chris-induced drama is the blog entry where a girl describes her encounter with Chris as he was wandering stores in search of his true love in late 2004, which can be viewed [[Thecrazypacer|here]]''' ''([[Anna McLerran]], after the writing of the blog entry, became a [[Gal-Pal|True Friend of mine]], and she cares about my feelings as such. Anna, thank you for continuing to be my friend.)''<br />
<br />
<s>Chris changes love interests far more frequently than he changes his underwear; it is speculated that he has fallen in "true love" over 9,000 times. You could be next. Trolled IRL.</s><br />
<br />
'''Trolling of Chris-Chan has crossed the OnLine border into InRealLife. Whether internet vigilantes are trying to expose him for the psycho stalker''' <s>he really is</s> or if they fap to picking on retards, it's uncertain.'''<br />
<br />
**'''[[The Game Place]], a store where he volunteered, was soon subject to his antics when [[Daniel Mimms|Anon took several photos of him]]. Nothing notable arose from this, other than mild lulz.'''<br />
<br />
**'''An old classmate of Chris, [[Joshua Martinez]], did some epid trolling. We don't actually know very much about Joshua, just a few key facts. Chris knew him from his old school [[Chris's education|(Joshua and Chris both had Special Ed together)]],''' ''(Speech Therapy to be specific)'' '''recently met up with him again and was getting along fine. Apparently, Joshua was very popular with women and had met some famous celebrities. For some reason, Chris became''' <s>extremely</s> '''jealous and even tried to get ED to go after him. Noe that Chris''' <s>only</s> '''values Joshua's friendship''' <s>because he's popular with women, and that by being friends with him, he might end up laid.</s> '''Unfortunately for Chris, even other special education kids will f*** with him. the chick that Joshua was supposed to hook him up with was just Joshua trolling him with a picture of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].''' ''(And yes, I still do not care much for Joshua because of his D***, Dirty Lies and Deception. And as I had stated in a past Video on My YouTube, "He is a Dirty Liar; I Do Not Care if the Trolls Troll Him," and I still stand by that statement.)''<br />
<br />
**'''A girl IRL,''' ''(That would be [[Hannah]], as portrayed in "Sonichu", No.2 and No.4, Sup-Episode 2, for what happened that one day.)'' <s>possibly</s> '''unrelated to ED or 4chan, tried to troll Chris-Chan for the [[lulz]].'''<br />
<br />
**'''Through trolling in this next case started online, it quickly moved into IRL. Chris had started a relationship with an e-girlfriend called [[Blanca Weiss]]. On September 11, 2008, another troll going by the same name was really a [[Man in the Pickle Suit |black man in a pickle costume]] and managed to score horrific nudes.''' ''(D*** that Dirty Son of a B****; I hope he lands in the fiery pits of hell after his death for his deception and extortion.)'' '''On October 7, 2008, Blanca managed to get the medallions and destroy them.''' ''([[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|I dumped her sorry ass after that misdeed; I had trusted her]].)''<br />
<br />
==Chris Chan: Master of Race Relations ''(Or so the Trolls Claim in the Striked Statements. I am Not a Racist.)''==<br />
<br />
<br />
<s>As a basement dweller from Bumf***, Virginia, it's a huge surprise that [[Niggos|CWC is VERY racist]].</s> '''On his blog, [[List of Chris's lies|Chris denies his racism]]''' <s>by stating he only dislikes Barack Obama for being an Arab terrorist, and: "It's the WHITE house; we don't endorse people painting it different colors around here."</s> ''(I used to agree with my father on Obama in a negative sense, BUT then I watched BOTH A&E Documentarys on McCain and Obama. I saw a bit of myself in Obama, and my views on him changed completely; he used to be a social outcast for a bit at a couple of times, and having to deal with such trials like I did, I respect Obama. I Voted for Obama on Election Day of 2008. )'' <s>Chris also believes that 99% of the Earth is ruled by dictators.</s> '''In several of his videos, he asked to meet [[Sweetheart|non-boyfriended, non-black girls.]]''' ''(But I am very cool in acquainting and [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|befriending women]] and men of all colors and countries; [[Chris and remorse|I did not mean to sound racist from what I was looking for in my Sweetheart.]])''<br />
<br />
'''Upon discovering this article around the 10th of November, 2007, Chris suffered a sever case of''' <s>b***</s>'''hurt and decared war on every site mocking''' <s>his f****try. As with everything in his life, Chris failed.</s><br />
<br />
'''At first, Chris tried [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|tampering with this article]] while logged in as Reldnahc, which is obviously "Chandler" (his last name) spelled backwards. Before erasing the entire article, Chris actually contributed by adding information that he hadn't submitted anywhere else.''' ''(I had thought the Information Overload would somehow Take Down the page; I admit that I was mistaken.)'' '''Most of his additions were chunks of text from uncited sources which included how [[Megan]] "shattered his heart", and printouts of the [[Sonichu News Dash]], a''' <s>s***ty</s> '''newsletter about his comic which he also distributed at [[PVCC]] that landed him in another apparent conflict with [[Mary Lee Walsh]].'''<br />
<br />
'''To make matters worse, he also uploaded [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34 of his own characters]].''' ''(Again, This was the SAME PROTEST that I had stated earlier on this page.)''<br />
<br />
'''Later, when the context of the article finally dawned on Chris, he snapped. He created another account, Chris-chan,''' ''(versus Chris_chan)'' '''and tried blanking the page several times.<br />
<br />
'''CWC blames Encyclopedia Dramatica for [[Megan Schroeder#The End of Megan|breaking up the relationship between him and Megan]] despite the fact that she was never his girlfriend.''' <s>Just another lying attempt to make ED feel guilty about something.</s><br />
<br />
[[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|'''In this video''' <s>BALEETED]]</s>, '''Chris congratulated all his''' <s>non-existent</s> '''Sonichu fans whom he''' <s>mistakenly</s> believed brought ED down and further urged them not to donate to ED while failing to realize that ED's downtime was due to an issue related to the website as a whole, and not related to any drama around his article.'''<br />
<br />
'''Chris's plea for his fans to not donate to ED failed because the only people who pay any attention to Chris are precisely the ones who helped ED reach its donation goal August 14, 2008.'''<br />
<br />
==Cwcville==<br />
<br />
'''[[Cwcville]] (pronounced: quick-ville)''' <s>is Chris Chan's imaginary world. Considering how it's portrayed, it's full name could be the [[Chris and his Ego|Our Glorious Leader's True and Honset Lovers']] City of Cwcville, in a way similar to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.</s><br />
<br />
'''Cwcville is actually two things: a '''[[Chris and Reality|<s>fictional</s>]] '''setting for the Sonichu comic and Chris's long-ongoing pet project - many might call it a "happy place" and an imaginary refuge from the harsh reality. [[Autism|The two things overlap very much]]. <s>It's sort of like his own personal Silent Hill - except that instead of being a twisted Hell full of violent rage and nightmare beasts, it's a disturbingly cheerful place where Chris's bouncy creations laugh, frolic, and f*** for his amusement exactly like Silent Hill. Characters are introduced without warning and fall by the wayside just as quickly; nobody's quite sure what nbecomes of them, but knowing Chris, it probably involves anguished shrieks emanating from a love dungeon below the Mayor's house.</s><br />
<br />
'''In the Sonichu comic book world, the town is alledgly located in the [[Virginia is for Virgins|state of Virginia]], but being a figment of Chris Chan's [[Chris and copyright|imagination]], it will never be found on an actual map.''' ''(But the city and the [[CWCville Shopping Center|mall]] Can Be Built and Dedicated.)'' <s>Yet, in many ways, it seems the city is legislatively and economically cut off from the rest of Virginia and the United States.</s> '''In this city, Chris Chan is a''' <s>despotic</s> '''Mayor,''' <s>where he controls everything at his own will and dictates new laws, granting him the basis of his megalomaniac tendencies.</s><br />
<br />
'''Inside the comic, Cwcville is at a fierece rivaly with neighboring ''Evil School''''' <s>city</s> '''of "[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]", ''PVCCitizens''. Cwcville is under constant attack from the evil forces of ''[[Slaweel Ryam]]''''' <s>Dean Mary Lee Walsh</s> '''and her army of Jerkops.'''<br />
<br />
==Cwcville Elections ''(What a load of bulls***)''==<br />
<br />
<br />
''(NOBODY ELSE WAS EVER MADE MAYOR OF CWCVILLE, and the ONE time I stated otherwise, [[List of Chris's lies|I was LYING OUT MY A**]] WHEN [[Julie Reveals Herself#1.5 Medallion, Jizz, or Julie?|I WAS BEING BLACKMAILED at the time]].)''<br />
<br />
'''Around the same time these lulzy and exploitable events occurred, another unfunny gag started when some bright, intelligent ''(Who Do They think they're Kidding?)'' member of YouTube decided to make a video declaring [[Billy Mays]] the new mayor of Cwcville. The only problem with the joke was that Billy Mays is now about as funny as Chuck Norris or a [[4-cent_garbage.com|Mudkip macro on 4chan]]. Thus, "Billy Mays for Mayor of Cwcville" became a meme with a s***load of videos trailing in its wake. If that weren't enough, the whole mock election expanded to other memes like Gordon the Pringles Giraffe and will soon spread to P***bear for President and Chris Hansen for Vice President.''' <s>(GET IT? [[Random-access humor|IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT IS CONFLICTING AND THEREFORE HUMOROUS]], SOMEBODY F***ING DO THIS).</s> ''(Like the f*** any of this make any sense at all; I HAVE NO CLUE AND I STILL DO NOT GET IT AT ALL.)'' '''Under the assumption that he'd be getting his PSN back,''' ''(here we go)'' '''Christian stated that Billy Mays was in fact, mayor of Cwcville.''' ''(I WAS LYING OUT MY F***ING A** WHEN I SAID THAT STATEMENT.)'' '''As always, Christian's reaction will only make things even worse, so be prepared for even more Billy Mays posters being plastered onto YouTube accounts.'''<br />
<br />
'''June 28, 2009, just days after Michael Jackon died at age 50 of a heart attac, Billy Mays also died at age 50 of a heart attack. Despite being his 80s, [[Jimmy Hill]] is still alive so he has been hailed mayor of Cwcville''' ''(Like the f*** he would EVER)'' '''despite a rumoured attempted military coup by Chris.'''<br />
<br />
'''After seeing a hilarious episode of [[Family Guy]],''' <s>where Chris Chan didn't get that he was being parodied for his moralf****try,</s> '''he decided to share his hatred of the g*** with [[Chris and religion|the Holy Bible]]. To do this, he quoted [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|18:22 of the book of Leviticus]],''' <s>which is the biblical equivalent of goatse,</s> '''which reinforces how two men should never engage in b***sex lest they be smited to the pits of hell to be r**ed by the Devil and his minions for eternity''' <s>(and also that men cannot shave, wear underwear with elastic straps, or crossbreed animals).</s><br />
<br />
<br />
==Chris-Chan the Moralf**==<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Unbeknownst to Chris, prolific hater of all things not Christian, 89 percent of the users trolling Chris Chan are Muslims. In another blow to Chris's moral credibility, he also decided to pick up a book on how to to talk to women... [[How to Talk to Girls|written by a 9-year-old boy]]. As the kid wrote it on how to talk to girls of his age, [[Pedofork|party vans]] descending on [[Ruckersville]] are imminent.''' ''(Hey, I do not think the lad would take the trolls' commentary on his book lightly, and I don't care for it either. [[Dating education|GENERAL CONVERSATION and Conversation Starters, as he was encouraging in his book]], Are Neutral for People of ALL AGES.)''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
==Sex Life==<br />
<br />
<br />
'''His Sex Life (If you can call it that) includes, among other arousing phenomena, f***ing a [[Kimmi|female anime blow-up doll]] and screaming "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY!" at the top of his lungs.]]''' ''(ONE TIME I screamed that for the ex-gal-pal of mine who I LATER learned was [[BlueSpike|a 13-year-old boy trolling me]]. That little S.O.B. later died at the hands of the "Starscream" Troll, [[Clyde Cash]].)''<br />
<br />
'''Chris wrote to [[Nintendo Power Magazine|Nintendo Power]] in April of [[2005]] to discuss the DS game [[Sprung]]: A''' <s>horrible</s> '''[[Noviophobia|dating simulator]], and was overjoyed to discover that they published his email. According to him, it was ''like'' a "free personal", and he expects that it being published will somehow increase his chance of finding a woman.'''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
===Chris Chan on sticking things up b***hole.===<br />
<br />
<br />
'''In both his videos and comics, he has shown contempt towards gays, constantly rambling on about how homosexuality is bad, and repeatedly stating that He Is Not Gay. ''I AM STRAIGHT.''''' <s>Despite these statements, Chris's sexuality remains questionable, [[Sex toys|as he owns a dildo and anal beads]] and rambles on sticking things in his a** while he masturbates.</s> ''(Those two items were [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Free Gifts from Adam&Eve.com]] from purchasing woman-on-man videos and [[Officer Nasty|female blow-up dolls]]. I meant for WOMEN to [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|put those things up their Vaginas]]; NEVER for men to put in their a**. UGH!!! I have never ever put anything up my a** [[Mass debating|while I masturbated]].)'' '''In his list of people he would not date, he lists autistics, high-functioning or otherwise.''' <s>Thus, Chris is also a self-loathing flaming f*****, trying desperately to stay in the closet. And we all know homophobes are closeted gays themselves.</s><br />
<br />
'''Chris appears to be''' <s>stuck</s> '''in a''' <s>[[CWC-isms|strange, child-like</s> '''mentality]] where he fills guilty when discussing sex. Because of thies, he is forced to use different words, like ''"[[Duck|duck]]"''''' <s>"[[Pickle|pickle]]"</s> '''for dick, "[[Chris and sex|hankey-panky]]" for sex, "[[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]" for ''women who are'' single, among other things. He started buying [[sex toys]] and porno videos back in 2003, and when discussing sex with other people (specifically [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] and a recent troll), he goes into intimate, almost scientific or educational detail. When Megan claimed to be uncomfortable with Chris discussing sex,''' ''(I stopped talking about it with her)'' <s>Chris goes into full detail on how a handjob works and that he has learned everything he knows from pornography.</s><br />
<br />
'''In recent audio recordings,''' <s>we have discovered a lot about Chris's sexuality.</s> '''Namely, he thinks that''' <s>gender stereotypes,</s> dirty talk, and cheesy lines like, "This might hurt a bit at first" are part of actual sex. One of the [[Chris Sex Logs|audio recordings]] has him describing his ideal "[[Chris_Sex_Logs#My_first_time|first time]]", which in intricate, overly dramatic''' <s>and mildly retarded.</s><br />
<br />
''(To correct most of this, '''A)''' I hate the gays' lifestyle; NOT THE PEOPLE. I am okay with being acquainted or friends with them, but no more than that. '''B)''' Yes, I do not care to date autistic or seriously mentally-challenged women, but because I feel if I went out with such a woman, I may be seeing a mirror reflecting on [[Chris and hypocrisy#examples|what I may have become if I was Low-Functioning]]. '''C)''' I have learned from MORE than just pornography; I have passed Sexual Education in [[Manchester High School|High School]], I have watched a lot of Romantic movies and shows, my friends have shared with me their input on relationships, I took Relationship Management courses, and currently the listed mentality is not only outdated, but I know those things are Optional. And letting the other know it may hurt ON THE FIRST TIME shows that I, the man, care and respect her, the woman, in a way.<br />
<br />
I have learned a LOT more about sex and relationships than ANY God-D***ed Troll will EVER know, because while they ONLY think they know or even understand, they Really Do Not Understand At All; THEY ARE DUMBA**ES!)''<br />
<br />
==Other==<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Chris Chan is also a fan of''' <s>the loli, as evident by his Rule 34 of Dot Warner, Misty from Pokemon and</s> '''[[Family Guy#Chris and Meg|Meg Griffin]].'''<br />
<br />
'''''I go for Adult Women; I am not a [[Pedofork|pedofile]].'''''<br />
<br />
--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:18, 18 December 2009 (CET)<br />
<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Chris chan}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWCipedia]]<br />
[[Category:Historical Documents]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_dispels_videogame_rumors&diff=175536
Chris dispels videogame rumors
2014-10-21T05:20:05Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>"'''CWC 09132009'''" is a video, uploaded on 13 [[September 2009]], in which [[Chris]] dispels rumors that the recently announced [[Sonic]] game, codenamed ''Project Needlemouse'', would actually be a [[Sonichu]] game. He comes to this statement based upon information he got from the [[ED]] forums, the discovery of which he seems to consider [[Trolls#Chris the Troll|a massive achievement]].<br />
<br />
At the end of the video, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] can be heard off-camera.<br />
<br />
(For the record, the game was announced on December 4th to be ''Sonic the Hedgehog 4''.)<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Chris dispels videogame rumors<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sl-ZelOsrCw}}<br />
| stardate = 13 [[September 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Video games|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{RedPokeShirt|text}}<br />
| previous = [[10 September 2009]]<br />
| next = [[Clyde Cash the kid video]]<br />
}} <br />
{{quote|D, Vivian G, D! Just like Sideshow Bob would say to Bart in that one episode that he had on his frontside.}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
Okay, you're rockin' it again, before we begin this installment of the [[video book|Official Videobooks]] series, let's turn to me for a moment, because I have a couple of brief announcements to make, dudes! Like number—like number one, the, uh, the s—stores that—on the Internet that are selling quote/unquote merchandise? IT'S NOT OFFICIAL! IT'S NOT REAL! [''takes off [[glasses]]''] You're being scammed! You might as well throw it in the garbage, burn it, return it! Because if you bought it, you're—not only are you aiding and abetting that criminal, you're being scammed yourself! And also, Project Needlemouse, I have been- I have talked with Sega of America, and they have verified for me that is a full-fledged [[Sonic|SONIC THE HEDGEHOG]] GAME! Not a [[Sonichu]] game. And besides, 2D, I mean [[Sonichu Adventure]], I mean I got so many more story arcs in there than meets the eye, yes—I mean multiple character switches and I have all the story plots, I'm—I have all the story plots in my head, and ON PAPER. On paper. Including like, you know, "Hey, whatever happened to Wild Sonichu's scyther(?) father?" He gets kidnapped a long time ago. You know? He gets kidnapped. And then Sonichu actually—and then Wild Sonichu actually goes and find him. And Bubbles is on her way to an amusement park. W—uh... Angelica goes to defend her church. Punchy is out for a new challenge, and Magi-chan, I'm not sure about him yet. And Sonichu's is out to's-is out for a challenge that he's-he's accepted the challenge from wha-m-from.. Metal Sonichu. As it would appear in the beginning of the books beyond number eleven! Number eleven! The stories would begin beyond—from book number ELEVEN! And nobody has those stories! Only I have those stories, so no video game can ever be created without my own power! My own [[Wikipedia:Swill|swill]], my own super, my own-h-HONEST TO GOODNESS SUPERVISION!<br />
<br />
[''Chris turns, the massive physical exertion causing him to pant'']<br />
<br />
So take it so take it for real: I AM THE REAL DEAL! I am Christian Weston Chandler. Alias Christopher. And nobody can ever impersonate me for real. Or even my hand-drawing style. And everything that you would get... that they can obviously put—is they could get—is again the only off the internet. It's not a real original hand draw-it's not original hand drawings. I mean, does that look like a printout to you? No! It's a HAND DRAWING! It's the original hand drawing of the back cover I constantly used! Among all the other hand drawings on my SHELF! In my BINDERS! IN THIS ROOM! In this house! So get with the program, people!<br />
<br />
[''cut'']<br />
<br />
And also, all videos that are currently on YouTube that may say cont—that may say the contrary about the video game rumors, they s—about them being true, but when they-rin-reality FALSE! The damn rumors! I mean I have read on 4 M's dot [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] dot com, that's right I KNOW IT! DAMN TROLLS! I'VE READ YOUR LINES! And I know that you're pixellating fake game screenshots and images and videos.... You're so busted. YOU'RE so busted. And you are in the wrong and you will be damned to hell! ESPECIALLY YOU [[Vivian G]]! D, Vivian G, D! Just like [[The Simpsons|Sideshow Bob would say to Bart in that one episode]] that he had on his frontside.<ref>In The Simpsons episode "Cape Feare", Sideshow Bob is seen with a tattoo on his chest saying "Die Bart Die." During a parole hearing, Bob explained the tattoo as being German for "The Bart The". Once more, Chris has stolen a joke, misunderstood it completely, butchered it horribly, and taken it so far out of context that it makes no sense to almost everybody.</ref> Anyway, aside from all that, I repeat: DO NOT BUY ANYTHING OFF THE INTER- off the uh websites, you are being scammed! There is no Sonichu video game, yet!<br />
<br />
The unu-un [''stutters''] and also, a-any a-all official updates about when the official merchandise will be officially released under my own power and supervision, as well as the video game's creation, will be posted on the offi—on the original official Sonichu site, which is also known as [[CWCipedia]]!<br />
<br />
[''Off camera, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] comes in and says "Hey, love! Just checkin' to see if you were home!"'']<br />
<br />
We'll be back in a moment.<br />
<br />
==Notes==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[10 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[Clyde Cash the kid video]]|}}<br />
{{Troll Videos}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-13]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Three-Quarter_Woman&diff=174761
Three-Quarter Woman
2014-09-23T22:42:19Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''''Three-Quarter Woman''''' is a homemade [[Christian's Favorite Hits|CD]] "made with love and care" by [[Chris]], created specially in September 2014 for [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|his new girlfriend]].<br />
<br />
Note that Chris has included a song by Tara Strong on the album, [[Chris and hypocrisy|even though]] he at one point [[2013 Facebook Posts|said that Strong contributed to cyberbullying with her "Twilightlicious" video]].<br />
<br />
==Tracklisting==<br />
*1. [[Britney Spears]] - Number 29<br />
*2. Britney Spears - Chaotic<br />
*3. Puffy AmiYumi - Joining a Fan Club<br />
*4. Britney Spears - Let Me Be<br />
*5. Bonnie Tyler - [[Holding Out for a Hero]]<br />
*6. Charlie Rich - The Most Beautiful Girl<br />
*7. B.J. Thomas - Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head<br />
*8. Britney Spears - E-mail My Heart<br />
*9. Melanie - Jump Start My Heart<br />
*10. Boston - [[CWC More Than A Feeling|More Than a Feeling]]<br />
*11. Puffy AmiYumi - Love So Pure<br />
*12. Mariah Carey - Vision of Love<br />
*13. Pastiche - [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|Sonic Boom]]<br />
*14. Katy Perry - [[Teenage Dream]]<br />
*15. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)<br />
*16. A*Teens - Bouncing Off the Walls (Upside Down)<br />
*17. The J. Geils Band - [[August 2014 Facebook Posts|Centerfold]]<br />
*18. [[My Little Pony|Tara Strong]] - Take My Hand<br />
*19. Debbie Reynolds - Aba Daba Honey Moon<br />
*20. Indigo Girls - Closer to Fine<br />
*21. [[Sailor Moon|Fujitani Minako]] - Watashitachi Ni Naritadute<br />
<br />
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]<br />
[[Category:Music]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWC_Update_18_March_2009_More_Updated&diff=173868
CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated
2014-08-20T04:25:45Z
<p>Barbaracles: /* Transcript */</p>
<hr />
<div>"'''CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated'''" (officially "'''CWC Update 03182009 More Updated'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] explains a few recent happenings, or the lack thereof. He expresses his hope that he'll win some ''[[Eye of Judgment]]'' tournament and get some special cards. He then goes on to make excuses for his predictable delays in turning out any new [[comic]] pages, and he makes a brief shout-out to his new [[sweetheart]] [[Ivy]].<br />
<br />
On 19 March 2009, Chris deleted and re-uploaded this video with new footage seamlessly spliced in. This director's cut features a reworded shout-out to Ivy, either to correct the flubbing of her name in the first take or to express greater affection towards her. It also adds a statement regarding the incident with [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] in front of the Eddie Bauer store, which had occurred earlier that day.<br />
<br />
'''Official description:''' If I do not have the website back up by the Eye of Judgment Tournament's End, I will upload the comic pages to the comic page hosting site I have been made aware of, and will post the address alongside the following video then. Also, cucumbered people, the [[Jerkops|Police]] are onto your game now, after [[Emily#Chris.27s_first_date|that fiasco the afternoon of March 19 in front of Eddie Baur]]; Watch Your Backs.<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6PBBkMe7uzM}}<br />
| stardate = 18 [[March 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{CaptainFalconShirt|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place#Watch|Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]<br />
| next = [[#Director.27s_Cut|CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated (Director's Cut)]]<br />
}} <br />
{{quote|I have, uh, been delaying on the drawing…}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: uh, March 18, 2009.<br />
<br />
Uh… I am still working on the recovery of, uh, the webs—of the sonichuandrosechu.com website. But yeah, also I a—on the side, I am—on the side, I am working on the—warming up for the Eye of Judgment, uh, tournament which, uh, hopefully, I'll be in the top 100, where—if I am—I’ll be, uh, one of the 100 winners to, uh, get set of free promo cards including the more lo—uh, more lovely version of, uh, Edin the Prosecuted—Persecuted, uh, which is—wh—I forget one of those. Uh, anyway, uh…<br />
<br />
Anyway, I have, uh, been delaying on the drawing of new comic pages since the website fell down, but, uh, I will—like I said, I will continue to try to get it back up, and if I do not get the website back up by the end of the tournament, uh, I will upload the co—pages to this, uh, comic page hosting site that I have been made aware of. I have been made aware of that on a previous Internet chat even though, during the past couple of weeks, at least, I have not been on any Internet chats. Because of the trolls. <br />
<br />
And also, I would like to give a shout-out to, uh… Ummivvy! And her friend Rachel across the hall from each other at a college here in these United States Vamerica. So, uh, yeah, ho—so… if, uh, so if by the tournament then, I do not have the website back up, I will, uh, upload the pages to the comic hosting page as I have previously mentioned and—and, uh, I will upload a video onto the YouTube informing of y'all where those pages will be on that point.<br />
<br />
Okay. So, uh, thank you for your patience and loyalty my, uh, loyal Sonichu fans. And, uh, y'all have a pleasant day. Take care.<br />
<br />
==Director's Cut==<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated (Director's Cut)<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|JKL5KcM932c}}<br />
| stardate = 18 [[March 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{CaptainFalconShirt|text}}, {{ClassicShirt|text}}<br />
| previous = [[#Video|CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]]<br />
| next = [[CWC's_Message_for_Ivy#Video|CWC's Message for Ivy]]<br />
}} <br />
<br />
{{quote|I would like to give a shout-out to… ''Ivy''…}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
[''video plays normally until "Because of the trolls."'']<br />
<br />
[jump cut]<br />
<br />
And also, I would like to give a shout-out to… ''Ivy'', sweet gal-pal of mine… [''blows kisses''] …and her friend Rachel across the hall from her, in a college within these United States!<br />
<br />
[jump cut]<br />
<br />
[''video plays normally until "…loyal Sonichu fans."'']<br />
<br />
[jump cut]<br />
<br />
And also, uh, a note from the Captain's Log on Stardate, uh, March 19th, 2009.<br />
<br />
[''inhales sharply''] I would like to make it obvious that, uh, due to a recent ''event'' that has, uh, gone ''awry'' by an ''individual''…<br />
<br />
[abrupt jump cut]<br />
<br />
I—he has been reported to the police, as well as, uh, the owner of the store that—which he has emerged from. And so, you will be picked up by a police if, uh, you try to do anything else that's funny. So, watch your back.<br />
<br />
Peace!<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]|nextlink=[[CWC's Message for Ivy]]|}}<br />
{{Captain's Log}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-03-18]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-18]]<br />
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-18]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_8&diff=171422
Sonichu 8
2014-06-13T21:46:53Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #8<br />
| cover = Sonichu8.jpg<br />
| coverdate = 20 August 2008<br />
| finishedcomic = 1 January 2009<br />
| pagecount = 101<br />
| episodes = 17-18<br />
| sub-episodes = 3<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]<br />
}}{{Honest}}<br><br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #8''' is the ninth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Based on the cover, this was originally planned as a [[Rosechu]] Spring Break special, featuring both [[Blanca Weiss]] and her character [[Jiggliami]] as introduced in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. However, by August [[2008]], Chris's focus was entirely on the [[trolls]], and that greatly altered the shape of this issue.<br />
<br />
Chris unveiled Episode 17 in September 2008 without having first completed the entire issue, in a break from the established tradition. Rather than featuring a Spring Break story, Episode 17 presents a story of [[Sonichu]] and Rosechu fucking until they discover ''slanderous mislabelings'' on a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], whereupon Rosechu poses for nude photos of herself to prove that she doesn't have a penis. When Sonichu and Rosechu visit the 4-cent_garbage.com headquarters to confront the trolls, they are accosted by uncounted lurid images before meeting the wicked [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. Howell refuses their demands and kicks Sonichu's ass easily; then Rosechu strips nude for the third time and shoves her cunt in Howell's face. The purpose of this story is unclear beyond Chris's need to express his incomprehensible feelings about the world around him.<br />
<br />
In the end, the long-awaited Spring Break story would appear as Episode 18, although it would not be completed for several more months following [[Blanca]]'s betrayal of Chris, his subsequent depression, and the massive distraction provided by playing ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. Chris would not return to work on the comic until he was told of a boy named [[Ryan Cash]] who, despairing of ever seeing his beloved ''Sonichu'' comics again, committed suicide. Ryan's tragic story, and the sadness of his mourning brother [[Clyde Cash]], prompted Chris to redouble his efforts, and Rosechu finally got to go on Spring Break in the dead of winter. (Fun fact: Chris has never gone on Spring Break, has no interest in any of the activities that go on during Spring Break (with the exception of sex), and will never actually know what it's like.)<br />
<br />
''Sonichu'' #8 proved to be highly controversial, primarily due to the hardcore sex scenes between Sonichu and Rosechu, who had previously been described as being 16 and 15, respectively. Chris rushed to include scenes in this issue that would firmly establish both characters as being of legal age to avoid accusations of child pornography.<br />
<br />
==Development==<br />
A few months prior to episode 18, several plot points were leaked in [[Chris Sex Logs|audio conversations]] Chris had with his then-sweetheart.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
==Public Service Announcement==<br />
Before the prologue, Chris has a disclaimer where [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] explain the morals of safe sex education. A horrifying sex scene was cut out.<br />
<br />
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|right|thumb|The disclaimer, as it appeared originally.]]<br />
{{clear}}<br />
==Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"==<br />
===Prologue=== <br />
{{Resources<br />
| title = Prologue<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_1 ''Episode 17''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Episode_17{{!}}''Episode 17''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P1.htm ''Episode 17''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phFqXLjEt5s ''Episode 17''}}<br />
<br />
The story opens with random proclamations from Chris: <br />
<br />
*Sonichu turned 19 on March 17, [[2007]].<br />
*Rosechu turned 18 on December 22, [[2006]].<br />
*As of November 3, 2007, the pair have been living in a house in the suburbs of [[CWCville]]. The house has been fully paid for with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]] (although new Mayor [[BILLY MAYS]] may revise this item in the CWCville budget to fund smoking and drinking laws.).<br />
<br />
Worth noting is that Sonichu and Rosechu's house is yellow and pink, just like its occupants. <br />
<br />
Inside, Sonichu shows off his bare ass to the reader, while Rosechu emerges from the bathroom in pink lingerie. The pair engage in disgusting pre-coital banter, which may even be post-coital, since Rosechu suggests they just got done showering together. We also learn that Sonichu has a seven-inch (18 cm) cock, and requires "double-extra length" condoms for safe sex. <br />
<br />
The two filthy, subhuman monsters engage in what they call "Missionary Cowgirl", apparently unaware that these are two completely different sexual positions. Sonichu responds by saying, "I think I can hotshot. Insert rod 'A' into slot 'B'." (The slot line is [[Things Chris has ripped off|borrowed]] from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.)<br />
<br />
In an illusory moment of mercy, Chris interrupts the action to discuss the nature of Sonichu and Rosechu's reproductive organs. In fact, the reader is subjected to a new kind of horror, as Chris clumsily attempts to explain how naked cartoon characters can have tits and balls. For the most part, Sonichu/Rosechu biology is a sick parody of human anatomy, with the following key distinctions: <br />
<br />
*A Rosechu's vagina or "[[china]]" is normally hidden from view by some hideous flap of skin, which recedes during urination, sexual arousal, or a "[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|psych-up]]" attack. <br />
*[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] nipples appear only when aroused, "for sensual massage". This would mean that Rosechus can only nurse their young when horny. <br />
*Rosechus possess a "V-shaped pouch" behind their vaginal opening, which apparently serves the same function as a human uterus. <br />
*A [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]'s penis and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the penis can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force. This presumably means Sonichu must be erect in order to urinate. <br />
*Sex may be painful for Rosechu the first time, even causing her to bleed from her hymen, but it soon begins to feel like "a sensual massage." <br />
*Sexually transmitted diseases are unheard of in the Sonichu/Rosechu population, which makes sense, given that there's fewer than twenty of the little freaks, and most of them were created abiogenetically. <br />
*If impregnated, the resulting zygote is gestated within the mother Rosechu for "a few months," after which the Rosechu deposits an egg outside of her body, and must keep it warm until the infant [[Sonee]] or [[Rosey]] hatches. This reveals that all Rosechus are [[Wikipedia:monotremes|monotremes]] (egg-laying mammals). <br />
Chris also declares that "most" STIs can be treated and removed, although it is unclear if he is referring to human STIs or bug-eyed furfag STIs. He refers the readers to local libraries and the internet for more information, and then returns to the hideous yiffing scene in the Sonichu household. <br />
<br />
Chris treats the readers to a cock-eye view of Sonichu's penis falling out of his pelvis. As they 69 each other, Rosechu emits disgusting blue fumes from her ungodly orifice, which Sonichu appears to savor. Sonichu finally penetrates Rosechu with his sickening yellow member, and Chris depicts numerous scenes of past intercourse between the two wretched creatures. Grasping Rosechu's tail, Sonichu pounds away at Rosechu's gaping hole, until the two finally reach orgasm simultaneously.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
===Rage Against the Garbage===<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title = Rage Against the Garbage<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_3 ''Episode 17''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_17{{!}}''Episode 17''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P2.htm ''Episode 17''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSw31YVQ_8c ''Episode 17''}}<br />
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|300px|right|"[[Chris and art|They look so life-like.]]"]]<br />
[[Image:Rosechustrips1.png|thumb]]<br />
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|200px|right|"What a show!"]]<br />
Twelve hours later, Sonichu seeks out even more putrid beast-sex from his sow, but Rosechu is too engrossed in her discovery of a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], which defames the good names of not only Sonichu and Rosechu, but their father [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] as well. Rosechu shows Sonichu various drawings of them and their friends (in fact, the [[Rule 34]] images Chris himself uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]), and Sonichu mistakes them for photographs. <br />
<br />
Rosechu goes on to show him the "apex" of the site, referring to numerous drawings of herself with male genitalia. Overcome with nausea, Sonichu vomits. Unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, Sonichu insists that Rosechu is female, and cites her photoshoot in ''PokéBoy'' magazine as proof of her gender. Thinking that the dickgirl pictures were created by mistake rather than malice, Sonichu suggests they "prove" Rosechu's womanhood to 4-cent_garbage.com's staff in person. He nearly faints with weakness, and Rosechu puts him to bed to sleep off the trauma of seeing cartoon penises on the internet.<br />
<br />
Incensed, Rosechu decides to retaliate by producing her own amateur photoshoot and uploading it to [[4-cent_garbage.com]] to balance out the dickgirl artwork. Her efforts are fruitless, however, as even more Rosechu-with-penis drawings are uploaded all the time. Rosechu decides to consult [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] for help.<br />
<br />
At 1:45 that afternoon, Sonichu, Rosechu, and [[Wild Sonichu]] are teleported to the 4-cent_garbage.com Building in Clarksville, Tennessee, courtesy of [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]]. While Rosechu seeks to confront the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head of the company]] and protest the website, Wild has been tasked with locating one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], which Magi-Chan detected inside (likely in some feeble attempt to tie this story into the overall plot). While Sonichu contacted the mysterious head of the company to make their appointment, the only name given was "Jason." In a pathetic attempt at subtlety, Chris depicts [[Thurston Howell III]] and his wife walking down the street to hint at Jason's full name. <br />
<br />
For no reason whatsoever, Wild expounds upon his childhood, telling some shitty story about how his father, a [[Scyther]], was captured by poachers in the jungle. He makes clear that he intends to avenge his father's death, even though he hasn't done a damn thing about it since the comic started. Wild turns invisible (a skill he learned from a passing Porygon), and slips into the building. <br />
<br />
Sonichu and Rosechu enter through the main door, and find a [[Beel|demonic receptionist]] in the hellish atrium of the building. He rudely directs Sonichu to the seventy-second floor (66+6). In the elevator, Sonichu angrily whines about the receptionist, until Rosechu reminds him of the [[story of Joseph]], and its moral of forgiveness. <br />
<br />
As Sonichu and his pink cum-dumpster ascend the building in the elevator, they stop occasionally to check out the [[4-cent_garbage#The_elevator_gags|strange things happening on various other floors]]. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at each floor to look at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever they see, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no good reason. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not. <br />
<br />
On the thirty-sixth floor, Wild finds a Sonichu ball in an empty room. Holding both of his Balls somehow prevents Wild from using his invisibility power, or contacting [[Magi-Chan]] for extraction. Wild is left with no choice but to sneak out of the building on his own, which really isn't that big a deal, seeing as there are only three people in the whole place anyway.<br />
<br />
On the seventy-second floor, Sonichu and Rosechu confront Jason, who introduces himself as a 20-year-old [[troll]], and his companion [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] as his "minory 17-year old woman," with whom everything he does is "illegal in these 50 states". When he bids the Electric Hedgehogs to state their case, Sonichu delivers a moving speech to convince Jason that the website needlessly drags names through the mud, and that it's morally wrong to troll innocent people. Jason responds by saying that the page will stay up forever.<br />
<br />
Enraged, Sonichu attacks Jason, but he is no match for the troll's awesome powers. Rosechu elects to withdraw, preferring to forgive Jason since there is no reasoning with him. The two leave with their arms around each other, and Chris pointlessly interrupts the story to explain how the two crimes against nature can touch each other's spiny backs without injury.<br />
<br />
Adding insult to injury, Jason tosses a [[pickle]] at Rosechu, striking her on the back of the head. Pushed to the breaking point, Rosechu crushes the pickle, strips nude, and leaps into the air to attack Jason. <br />
<br />
With ferocious roars (and a good deal of [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|plagiarism]]), Rosechu lands pelvis-first on Jason's head, and wraps her tail and legs around his body, SHOVING his face up her [[China|vagina]]. With sadistic glee, she claws open his head and bites down on the wound, then unleashes a powerful burst of electrical power. Sonichu even says she "had him going." Though dark forces somehow sustain Jason's life, he admits that the attack would have otherwise been fatal. Exhausted, Rosechu gathers her clothes, and leaves with Sonichu. While he is impressed with her display of raw fury, Rosechu is horrified at her primal rage, and makes some mention that she "transformed" into "[[The Incredible Lioness|some monster]]," expressing concern that "this thing" won't overtake her again. If Sonichu were a better comic, this might be interpreted as foreshadowing, but since it's Chris, there is a 99.9% chance that this will never be mentioned again. <br />
<br />
Outside, the three Hedgehogs reunite, and [[Magi-Chan]] teleports them back to [[CWCville]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
===Epilogue===<br />
<br />
Later, Rosechu hosts a gathering of other Rosechus to protest [[4-cent_garbage.com]] and uphold [[Women's rights]] by producing pornographic photoshoots. In addition to [[Bubbles]], [[Angelica]], and [[Lolisa]], the group is joined by [[Simonla Rosechu]], who supplies the backdrops for the shoot and volunteers her services as a model. The group is also joined by [[Zapina Rosechu]], a fourteen-year-old loli who desperately wants to [[pedofork|"volunteer her services of cuteness"]] to the project and join in the strippin' fun. Citing "the dumb laws<ref>While many argue that Chris is referring to "dumb laws" against child pornography, it is plausible he's referring to "dumb" child labor laws which would prohibit Zapina from participating in setting up lights, cameras, etc. for the photo shoot. In any case, Chris thinks it's "dumb" that a fourteen-year-old can't work, sexually or otherwise.</ref>", Rosechu refuses her help, but Lolisa offers to supervise Zapina as she uses the light from her mutant ass to illuminate the photoshoot.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
===Advertisement===<br />
<br />
Chris introduces the Knothole in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]] ad filled with [[random-access humor]]. Some might consider this a [[parody]] of a parody, which [[Parody#Hypocrisy|Chris feels is improper]]. However, Chris has cleverly pre-empted such accusations by labeling it a tribute, turning the tables on his critics with the power of his high-functional mind.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Episode 18:"Spring Break, 2008!"==<br />
===Prologue===<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title = Prologue<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_60 ''Episode 18''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}}''Episode 18''<br />
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P2.htm ''Episode 18''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBk_MebLB0k ''Episode 18''}}<br />
[[Image:LikeFatherLikeSon.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu squeezes and kisses Rosechu and leaves her feeling [[Megan|extremely uncomfortable]]. Like [[Christian Weston Chandler|father]], like son!]]<br />
Apparently ''still'' concerned that someone will accuse him of being a [[Pedofork]], Chris establishes ''yet again'' that his characters are of legal age, this time by actually showing the birthday parties held for most of the main cast since Episode 17. Rosechu turns 19 on December 22, 2007. The [[Chaotic Combo]] turn 19 on February 2, 2008. Sonichu turns 20 on March 17, 2008. <br />
<br />
Finally, [[Black Sonichu]] celebrates his birthday in a private get-together with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Blake disputes that he even has a birthday, since he was cloned from Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]] (and thus not born of a Rosechu's uterus, which is stupid because every other Soni/Rosechu were just shat out of a rainbow anyway). Bubbles, however, insists that he is a 20-year-old "starting straight with a 2-year old body". Bubbles asks Blake what he wished for and he says "It's already come true", where Chris is either butchering the classic teen film "Sixteen Candles" or the Family Guy parody of it. The two kiss, and Black Sonichu agrees to rendezvous with Bubbles at the CWCville Spring Break Concert on March 22. <br />
<br />
Chris introduces Spring Break by ripping off a gag from a ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode, wherein Meg Griffin tries to ignore Spring Break by flipping channels, only to find that every station is covering Spring Break, including the news. Chris repeats the joke almost verbatim, except he fails to include anyone actually watching the television, thus undermining the premise. The scene is best remembered for the appearance of ''[[Excel-Saga|FQX]]'' newswoman Greta Squall, a hideously deformed woman with club-like arms and scars on her face which look like the numeral "2".<br />
{{clear}}<br />
===Spring Break, 2008!===<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title = Spring Break, 2008!<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_66 ''Episode 18''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}}''Episode 18''<br />
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P2.htm ''Episode 18''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBk_MebLB0k ''Episode 18''}}<br />
The story proper opens with [[KCWC]] DJs [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] covering the event.<br />
<br />
{{quote|We have a lot of great events and giveaways goin' on here today. Thank our mayor, Mr. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] that [[CWCville]] is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or somkey! We've got coolers and kegs full of our famously delicious [[CWC-Cola]], Diet CWC-Cola, Lemonade, Grape and Orange Soda, compliments of our local CWC-Cola Bottling Company, founded and opened proudly in 1985; three years after CWCville was founded by our mayor's father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] You can enter to win a 40-inch Sony HD-TV from Cwick-Circuit City, or drive home in a shiny new '08 Chevy Camaro Concept. Also tonight, our rising star, [[Jiggliami]] will be singing her debut single, "War of Love" on the concert stage here at CWCville Beach. So stay tuned to CWCville, [[Virginia]]'s number 1 radio station for all this and a lot more!|Jamsta Sonichu, desperately craving nicotine and liquor}}<br />
<br />
Almost immediately, Lolisa excuses herself to take a swim. <br />
<br />
On the stage, Jiggliami and [[Blanca]] eagerly await their performance. As in their appearance in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], both of them babble incoherently about their music. Blanca maintains that she will wait for Chris to return from the time void — ironic, since Blanca had betrayed Chris long before this episode was uploaded to the internet. <br />
<br />
On the beach, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy themselves. Like Franklin from [[Wikipedia:Peanuts|''Peanuts'']], characters with suntans are depicted with vertical lines for shading. When Chris does it, though, it just looks like the characters are shaking uncontrollably, teleporting, or just soaked with [[comeuppance|jizz]]. While Sonichu heads off to surf, the Rosechus lie on the beach. <br />
<br />
For no good reason, Bubbles explains that she has no need for sunscreen, because she is incapable of tanning and impervious to sunburn. This has something to do with her being a Water-type Pokémon, her body being composed of 90% water (which would be rather unstable in the first place), and her fur being capable of adapting itself to her surroundings. This would beg the question of how ''any'' Electric Hedgehog Pokémon can tan, being covered with fur as they are. Of course, in reality [[Honor roll|water does not have that effect on the ability to tan at all]].<br />
<br />
The Rosechus notice a mysterious black Rosechu, and later catch up with [[Megagi]] and [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[PandaHalo]] make a cameo appearance as well. <br />
<br />
Bubbles's sunbathing is interrupted when Magi-Chan contacts her to collect a Sonichu Ball from the ocean. Before she can get up to find the ball, Black Sonichu kicks sand on the girls. Rosechu threatens to attack him, but Bubbles offers to do it herself, and pretends to force Black Sonichu away from the others. While she and Blake seem determined to hide their relationship, Rosechu and Angelica secretly know the truth, and laugh at the transparency of Bubbles's ruse. <br />
<br />
Chris incorporates a drawing of Sonichu surfing by PandaHalo, yet he manages to dick up the continuity by drawing in different colored water around the edges of the picture. Also, Sonichu wasn't wearing his shoes earlier, but Panda's drawing shows him wearing shoes. <br />
<br />
Elsewhere on the beach, Bubbles tells Blake of her mission to find the Sonichu Ball, and they agree to meet at Pier 969 later for disgusting sex. Little do they know that the black Rosechu from before has eavesdropped on their conversation. As she transforms into a duplicate of Bubbles, Chris introduces her as [[Silvana Rosechu]] and explains that hers was the ''sixth'' egg that emerged from the [[Rainbow]] along with the five eggs that became the Chaotic Combo. Silvana's egg wound up on the Earth's moon, where [[Count Graduon]] somehow made telepathic contact with her in [[1980s#1989|1989]]. As Mewtwo mentored the infant Magi-Chan Sonichu, so did Graduon raise Silvana. In addition to training her in the ways of evil, Graduon "upgraded" Silvana to have both male and female genitalia, and enabled her to change her shape.<br />
<br />
In the Atlantic Ocean, Bubbles searches for the Sonichu Ball, passing by fan-favorite character [[Yawning Squirtle]], among other crappily drawn Pokémon who sing the song "Under the Sea" from ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|The Little Mermaid]]'', yet another thing Chris has ripped off. <br />
<br />
The Ball is claimed to be 5 miles (8 km) out to sea and 2,000-5,000 fathoms (2.3 - 5.7 mi / 3,700 - 9,100 meters) below the surface, which is impossibly deep for Bubbles to dive (the deepest point of the ocean is 6.8 mi / 10,900 meters). It's likely that Chris used "fathom" (6 feet / 183 cm) as a measurement of depth without bothering to find out how big a fathom was.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Black Sonichu buys condoms in anticipation of the nasty, dirty animal sex he intends to share with his revolting mate. Silvana, posing as Bubbles, meets him, and convinces him not to wear a condom. Blake agrees, never suspecting Silvana's power to ejaculate a "paralyzing sleep solution" during intercourse. At Pier 969, Blake humps the foul creature, never suspecting that cock is ramming up against Silvana's own penis, which is perhaps withdrawn inside hir vagina. Blake passes out from the effects of Silvana's cum, and she teleports him to a closet in the CWCville Beach stage. From there, she returns to Pier 969 disguised as Black Sonichu, and lays the same trap for Bubbles. What she had actually intended to ''do'' after systematically seducing and subduing the various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|recolors]] is never elaborated upon. <br />
<br />
Before Bubbles goes to the pier, she hands off the Sonichu Ball to Angelica to ferry back to [[CWCville Mall]]. As she flies off, [[Punchy]] and Wild discuss their sex lives. Punchy wants to bang Angelica, and Wild seems uncertain what to do about his own loneliness. The two resolve to enroll in a Dating Education course offered at CWCville University, thus setting up the [[Sonichu 9|next shitty issue]].<br />
[[File:BubblesXSilvana.jpg|thumb|Silvana's eventual goal.]]<br />
At Pier 969, Bubbles meets Silvana, but before she can present her hindquarters for vomit-inducing copulation, she receives a telepathic message from Magi-Chan, warning her of the impostor. Why Magi-Chan knows the difference, and why he didn't warn Black Sonichu of the same thing, is left to the reader's imagination. Bubbles is skeptical at first, but Jiggliami calls to inform her that she has discovered Black Sonichu in the stage closet. When Black Sonichu himself warns her of the danger, the stupid bitch finally begins to put two and two together. Bubbles exposes Silvana by asking her to attack her with Black Sonichu's electrical powers. Despite the fact that Transform grants the user the ability to mimic all moves known by the target, Silvana instead opts to use her own psychic attack to simulate Blake's power, but Bubbles knows the difference. Silvana reveals herself, and teleports away before Bubbles can avenge Blake's manhood. Horrified, she returns to Blake's side to comfort him. <br />
<br />
That night, Jiggliami finally performs the damned song Chris had been promoting for four months. Chris credits Blanca Weiss for composing the lyrics on August 20, 2008, which contradicts the premise of Jiggliami performing the same song on March 22, 2008. Also, the song, "War of Love", makes no sense whatsoever, and resembles the sort of crap Chris writes all the time. <br />
<br />
As an epilogue of sorts, Chris establishes that Blanca found "her boyfriend" and returned to her home state of Kentucky, despite previously establishing that she intended to wait for Chris to return from the time void. Acknowledging his own personal life, Chris briefly discusses the three [[Trolls|women]] he was involved with during the fall of 2008. Chris claims to have been uncertain about which one to pursue, and credits God and Jesus for eliminating two of them by having [[Optimus Prime]] kill [[Sarah Jackson]], and revealing the second to be in alliance with the trolls. Presumably, this is meant to refer to Blanca, even though Chris has depicted her as his girlfriend in this very story. The third woman, [[PandaHalo]], Chris declares to be his True Sweetheart, and the person he would promise his [[sex|first time]] to, although he would abandon her for dead within two months. <br />
<br />
In a small note on the last page, Chris acknowledges the suicide of [[Ryan Cash]], and admits a modicum of responsibility for his death.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
==Alternate versions==<br />
<br />
When originally uploaded to [[Sonichu.net]], Chris offered multiple versions of the Episode 17, depending on which link the reader selected. These were based upon the ratings system used for television content.<br />
<br />
[[Image:TVMA.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-MA''': The uncut version of the comic. It was quickly unlinked from the site; however, all files still remained available.<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
[[Image:TV14.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-14''': A censored version of the above comic. Mostly, this is accomplished by Chris putting photographs of bananas over Sonichu's dick, an orange over Rosechu's vagina, and blue stars on her nipples. Other objects are used throughout the issue to conceal nude pictures Chris took from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. These lousy edits can be seen [http://www.mediafire.com/?tt0s91mnmez here]<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
[[Image:TVY7.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-Y7''': A version which omitted many pages of the original story. Chris appears to have created "Rage Against the Garbage" with these edits in mind, as the TV-Y7 pages are numbered normally, while the pages featuring nudity and sex were lettered (e.g. page 19-A, 19-B, etc.). As the sexual content in the story was gratuitous and pointless in the first place, removing it did little to harm the quality of the work, except that the plot is significantly altered. Since Rosechu's faceraping of Jason had to be removed, the TV-Y7 version implies that Sonichu and Rosechu left peacefully, never to revisit the matter again. <br />
<br />
Chris would rearrange the content in the TV-14 version numerous times before finally settling on a single version of the story, with most of the nudity removed and Rosechu's facerape attack left in. The hedgehog porn was reportedly removed at the request of his parents, and Chris would later add a message to his site stating his solemn vow to never again depict his characters engaged in sexual activity. This promise was soon broken when Chris created [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]] and snuck all of the deleted scenes there.<br />
<br />
===The uncensored scenes===<br />
<br />
By popular demand, here are the uncensored images from ''Sonichu'' #8, including the ones from Episode 17's prologue that now appear on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology CWCipedia's 'Biology' page underneath 'Reproductive Biology of Sonichu and Rosechu']. Enjoy [[mass debating|fapping]] to these, you sick fucks.<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Uncensored images from Sonichu 8 (abandon hope all ye who enter here)<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
Image:SchuComic9Page1-B.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page1-G.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page1-H .jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page5-A.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page5-B.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page5-C.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page19-A.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page32-F.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page32-G.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic8P102.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic8P103.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic8P104.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic8P105.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Episode 17<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
File:SchuComic8P1.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P2.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page-G-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page-H-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page-I-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P3.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P4.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P5.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P6.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P7.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P8.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P9.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P10.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P11.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P12.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P13.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P15.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P16.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P17.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P18.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P19.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P20.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P21.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P22.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P23.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P24.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P25.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P26.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P27.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P28.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P29.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P30.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P31.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P32.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P33.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P34.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P35.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P36.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P37.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P38.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P39.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P40.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P41.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P42.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page32-F-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page32-G-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P43.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P44.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P45.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P46.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P47.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P48.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P49.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P50.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P51.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P52.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P53.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P54.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P55.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P56.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P57.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P58.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P59.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Episode 18<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
File:SchuComic8P60.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P61.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P62.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P63.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P64.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P65.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P66.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P67.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P68.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P69.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P70.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P71.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P72.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P73.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P74.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P75.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P76.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P77.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P78.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P79.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P80.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P81.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P82.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P83.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P84.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P85.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P86.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P87.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P88.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P89.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P90.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P91.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P92.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P93.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P94.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P95.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P96.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P97.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P98.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P99.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P100.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P101.jpg<br />
<br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
==Links==<br />
<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCjgNF0NTwQ Examining Sonichu & Rosechu Audiobook]<br />
<br />
==Sources and Notes==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]<br />
[[Category: ED Saga]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_8&diff=171421
Sonichu 8
2014-06-13T21:45:49Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #8<br />
| cover = Sonichu8.jpg<br />
| coverdate = 20 August 2008<br />
| finishedcomic = 1 January 2009<br />
| pagecount = 101<br />
| episodes = 17-18<br />
| sub-episodes = 3<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]<br />
}}{{Honest}}<br><br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #8''' is the ninth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Based on the cover, this was originally planned as a [[Rosechu]] Spring Break special, featuring both [[Blanca Weiss]] and her character [[Jiggliami]] as introduced in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. However, by August [[2008]], Chris's focus was entirely on the [[trolls]], and that greatly altered the shape of this issue.<br />
<br />
Chris unveiled Episode 17 in September 2008 without having first completed the entire issue, in a break from the established tradition. Rather than featuring a Spring Break story, Episode 17 presents a story of [[Sonichu]] and Rosechu fucking until they discover ''slanderous mislabelings'' on a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], whereupon Rosechu poses for nude photos of herself to prove that she doesn't have a penis. When Sonichu and Rosechu visit the 4-cent_garbage.com headquarters to confront the trolls, they are accosted by uncounted lurid images before meeting the wicked [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. Howell refuses their demands and kicks Sonichu's ass easily; then Rosechu strips nude for the third time and shoves her cunt in Howell's face. The purpose of this story is unclear beyond Chris's need to express his incomprehensible feelings about the world around him.<br />
<br />
In the end, the long-awaited Spring Break story would appear as Episode 18, although it would not be completed for several more months following [[Blanca]]'s betrayal of Chris, his subsequent depression, and the massive distraction provided by playing ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. Chris would not return to work on the comic until he was told of a boy named [[Ryan Cash]] who, despairing of ever seeing his beloved ''Sonichu'' comics again, committed suicide. Ryan's tragic story, and the sadness of his mourning brother [[Clyde Cash]], prompted Chris to redouble his efforts, and Rosechu finally got to go on Spring Break in the dead of winter. (Fun fact: Chris has never gone on Spring Break, has no interest in any of the activities that go on during Spring Break (with the exception of sex), and will never actually know what it's like.)<br />
<br />
''Sonichu'' #8 proved to be highly controversial, primarily due to the hardcore sex scenes between Sonichu and Rosechu, who had previously been described as being 16 and 15, respectively. Chris rushed to include scenes in this issue that would firmly establish both characters as being of legal age to avoid accusations of child pornography.<br />
<br />
==Development==<br />
A few months prior to episode 18, several plot points were leaked in [[Chris Sex Logs|audio conversations]] Chris had with his then-sweetheart.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
==Public Service Announcement==<br />
Before the prologue, Chris has a disclaimer where [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] explain the morals of safe sex education. A horrifying sex scene was cut out.<br />
<br />
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|right|thumb|The disclaimer, as it appeared originally.]]<br />
{{clear}}<br />
==Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"==<br />
===Prologue=== <br />
{{Resources<br />
| title = Prologue<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_1 ''Episode 17''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Episode_17{{!}}''Episode 17''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P1.htm ''Episode 17''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phFqXLjEt5s ''Episode 17''}}<br />
<br />
The story opens with random proclamations from Chris: <br />
<br />
*Sonichu turned 19 on March 17, [[2007]].<br />
*Rosechu turned 18 on December 22, [[2006]].<br />
*As of November 3, 2007, the pair have been living in a house in the suburbs of [[CWCville]]. The house has been fully paid for with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]] (although new Mayor [[BILLY MAYS]] may revise this item in the CWCville budget to fund smoking and drinking laws.).<br />
<br />
Worth noting is that Sonichu and Rosechu's house is yellow and pink, just like its occupants. <br />
<br />
Inside, Sonichu shows off his bare ass to the reader, while Rosechu emerges from the bathroom in pink lingerie. The pair engage in disgusting pre-coital banter, which may even be post-coital, since Rosechu suggests they just got done showering together. We also learn that Sonichu has a seven-inch (18 cm) cock, and requires "double-extra length" condoms for safe sex. <br />
<br />
The two filthy, subhuman monsters engage in what they call "Missionary Cowgirl", apparently unaware that these are two completely different sexual positions. Sonichu responds by saying, "I think I can hotshot. Insert rod 'A' into slot 'B'." (The slot line is [[Things Chris has ripped off|borrowed]] from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.)<br />
<br />
In an illusory moment of mercy, Chris interrupts the action to discuss the nature of Sonichu and Rosechu's reproductive organs. In fact, the reader is subjected to a new kind of horror, as Chris clumsily attempts to explain how naked cartoon characters can have tits and balls. For the most part, Sonichu/Rosechu biology is a sick parody of human anatomy, with the following key distinctions: <br />
<br />
*A Rosechu's vagina or "[[china]]" is normally hidden from view by some hideous flap of skin, which recedes during urination, sexual arousal, or a "[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|psych-up]]" attack. <br />
*[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] nipples appear only when aroused, "for sensual massage". This would mean that Rosechus can only nurse their young when horny. <br />
*Rosechus possess a "V-shaped pouch" behind their vaginal opening, which apparently serves the same function as a human uterus. <br />
*A [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]'s penis and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the penis can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force. This presumably means Sonichu must be erect in order to urinate. <br />
*Sex may be painful for Rosechu the first time, even causing her to bleed from her hymen, but it soon begins to feel like "a sensual massage." <br />
*Sexually transmitted diseases are unheard of in the Sonichu/Rosechu population, which makes sense, given that there's fewer than twenty of the little freaks, and most of them were created abiogenetically. <br />
*If impregnated, the resulting zygote is gestated within the mother Rosechu for "a few months," after which the Rosechu deposits an egg outside of her body, and must keep it warm until the infant [[Sonee]] or [[Rosey]] hatches. This reveals that all Rosechus are [[Wikipedia:monotremes|monotremes]] (egg-laying mammals). <br />
Chris also declares that "most" STIs can be treated and removed, although it is unclear if he is referring to human STIs or bug-eyed furfag STIs. He refers the readers to local libraries and the internet for more information, and then returns to the hideous yiffing scene in the Sonichu household. <br />
<br />
Chris treats the readers to a cock-eye view of Sonichu's penis falling out of his pelvis. As they 69 each other, Rosechu emits disgusting blue fumes from her ungodly orifice, which Sonichu appears to savor. Sonichu finally penetrates Rosechu with his sickening yellow member, and Chris depicts numerous scenes of past intercourse between the two wretched creatures. Grasping Rosechu's tail, Sonichu pounds away at Rosechu's gaping hole, until the two finally reach orgasm simultaneously.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
===Rage Against the Garbage===<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title = Rage Against the Garbage<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_3 ''Episode 17''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_17{{!}}''Episode 17''<br />
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P2.htm ''Episode 17''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPMu06016Sc ''Episode 17''}}<br />
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|300px|right|"[[Chris and art|They look so life-like.]]"]]<br />
[[Image:Rosechustrips1.png|thumb]]<br />
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|200px|right|"What a show!"]]<br />
Twelve hours later, Sonichu seeks out even more putrid beast-sex from his sow, but Rosechu is too engrossed in her discovery of a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], which defames the good names of not only Sonichu and Rosechu, but their father [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] as well. Rosechu shows Sonichu various drawings of them and their friends (in fact, the [[Rule 34]] images Chris himself uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]), and Sonichu mistakes them for photographs. <br />
<br />
Rosechu goes on to show him the "apex" of the site, referring to numerous drawings of herself with male genitalia. Overcome with nausea, Sonichu vomits. Unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, Sonichu insists that Rosechu is female, and cites her photoshoot in ''PokéBoy'' magazine as proof of her gender. Thinking that the dickgirl pictures were created by mistake rather than malice, Sonichu suggests they "prove" Rosechu's womanhood to 4-cent_garbage.com's staff in person. He nearly faints with weakness, and Rosechu puts him to bed to sleep off the trauma of seeing cartoon penises on the internet.<br />
<br />
Incensed, Rosechu decides to retaliate by producing her own amateur photoshoot and uploading it to [[4-cent_garbage.com]] to balance out the dickgirl artwork. Her efforts are fruitless, however, as even more Rosechu-with-penis drawings are uploaded all the time. Rosechu decides to consult [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] for help.<br />
<br />
At 1:45 that afternoon, Sonichu, Rosechu, and [[Wild Sonichu]] are teleported to the 4-cent_garbage.com Building in Clarksville, Tennessee, courtesy of [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]]. While Rosechu seeks to confront the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head of the company]] and protest the website, Wild has been tasked with locating one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], which Magi-Chan detected inside (likely in some feeble attempt to tie this story into the overall plot). While Sonichu contacted the mysterious head of the company to make their appointment, the only name given was "Jason." In a pathetic attempt at subtlety, Chris depicts [[Thurston Howell III]] and his wife walking down the street to hint at Jason's full name. <br />
<br />
For no reason whatsoever, Wild expounds upon his childhood, telling some shitty story about how his father, a [[Scyther]], was captured by poachers in the jungle. He makes clear that he intends to avenge his father's death, even though he hasn't done a damn thing about it since the comic started. Wild turns invisible (a skill he learned from a passing Porygon), and slips into the building. <br />
<br />
Sonichu and Rosechu enter through the main door, and find a [[Beel|demonic receptionist]] in the hellish atrium of the building. He rudely directs Sonichu to the seventy-second floor (66+6). In the elevator, Sonichu angrily whines about the receptionist, until Rosechu reminds him of the [[story of Joseph]], and its moral of forgiveness. <br />
<br />
As Sonichu and his pink cum-dumpster ascend the building in the elevator, they stop occasionally to check out the [[4-cent_garbage#The_elevator_gags|strange things happening on various other floors]]. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at each floor to look at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever they see, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no good reason. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not. <br />
<br />
On the thirty-sixth floor, Wild finds a Sonichu ball in an empty room. Holding both of his Balls somehow prevents Wild from using his invisibility power, or contacting [[Magi-Chan]] for extraction. Wild is left with no choice but to sneak out of the building on his own, which really isn't that big a deal, seeing as there are only three people in the whole place anyway.<br />
<br />
On the seventy-second floor, Sonichu and Rosechu confront Jason, who introduces himself as a 20-year-old [[troll]], and his companion [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] as his "minory 17-year old woman," with whom everything he does is "illegal in these 50 states". When he bids the Electric Hedgehogs to state their case, Sonichu delivers a moving speech to convince Jason that the website needlessly drags names through the mud, and that it's morally wrong to troll innocent people. Jason responds by saying that the page will stay up forever.<br />
<br />
Enraged, Sonichu attacks Jason, but he is no match for the troll's awesome powers. Rosechu elects to withdraw, preferring to forgive Jason since there is no reasoning with him. The two leave with their arms around each other, and Chris pointlessly interrupts the story to explain how the two crimes against nature can touch each other's spiny backs without injury.<br />
<br />
Adding insult to injury, Jason tosses a [[pickle]] at Rosechu, striking her on the back of the head. Pushed to the breaking point, Rosechu crushes the pickle, strips nude, and leaps into the air to attack Jason. <br />
<br />
With ferocious roars (and a good deal of [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|plagiarism]]), Rosechu lands pelvis-first on Jason's head, and wraps her tail and legs around his body, SHOVING his face up her [[China|vagina]]. With sadistic glee, she claws open his head and bites down on the wound, then unleashes a powerful burst of electrical power. Sonichu even says she "had him going." Though dark forces somehow sustain Jason's life, he admits that the attack would have otherwise been fatal. Exhausted, Rosechu gathers her clothes, and leaves with Sonichu. While he is impressed with her display of raw fury, Rosechu is horrified at her primal rage, and makes some mention that she "transformed" into "[[The Incredible Lioness|some monster]]," expressing concern that "this thing" won't overtake her again. If Sonichu were a better comic, this might be interpreted as foreshadowing, but since it's Chris, there is a 99.9% chance that this will never be mentioned again. <br />
<br />
Outside, the three Hedgehogs reunite, and [[Magi-Chan]] teleports them back to [[CWCville]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
===Epilogue===<br />
<br />
Later, Rosechu hosts a gathering of other Rosechus to protest [[4-cent_garbage.com]] and uphold [[Women's rights]] by producing pornographic photoshoots. In addition to [[Bubbles]], [[Angelica]], and [[Lolisa]], the group is joined by [[Simonla Rosechu]], who supplies the backdrops for the shoot and volunteers her services as a model. The group is also joined by [[Zapina Rosechu]], a fourteen-year-old loli who desperately wants to [[pedofork|"volunteer her services of cuteness"]] to the project and join in the strippin' fun. Citing "the dumb laws<ref>While many argue that Chris is referring to "dumb laws" against child pornography, it is plausible he's referring to "dumb" child labor laws which would prohibit Zapina from participating in setting up lights, cameras, etc. for the photo shoot. In any case, Chris thinks it's "dumb" that a fourteen-year-old can't work, sexually or otherwise.</ref>", Rosechu refuses her help, but Lolisa offers to supervise Zapina as she uses the light from her mutant ass to illuminate the photoshoot.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
===Advertisement===<br />
<br />
Chris introduces the Knothole in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]] ad filled with [[random-access humor]]. Some might consider this a [[parody]] of a parody, which [[Parody#Hypocrisy|Chris feels is improper]]. However, Chris has cleverly pre-empted such accusations by labeling it a tribute, turning the tables on his critics with the power of his high-functional mind.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Episode 18:"Spring Break, 2008!"==<br />
===Prologue===<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title = Prologue<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_60 ''Episode 18''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}}''Episode 18''<br />
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P2.htm ''Episode 18''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBk_MebLB0k ''Episode 18''}}<br />
[[Image:LikeFatherLikeSon.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu squeezes and kisses Rosechu and leaves her feeling [[Megan|extremely uncomfortable]]. Like [[Christian Weston Chandler|father]], like son!]]<br />
Apparently ''still'' concerned that someone will accuse him of being a [[Pedofork]], Chris establishes ''yet again'' that his characters are of legal age, this time by actually showing the birthday parties held for most of the main cast since Episode 17. Rosechu turns 19 on December 22, 2007. The [[Chaotic Combo]] turn 19 on February 2, 2008. Sonichu turns 20 on March 17, 2008. <br />
<br />
Finally, [[Black Sonichu]] celebrates his birthday in a private get-together with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Blake disputes that he even has a birthday, since he was cloned from Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]] (and thus not born of a Rosechu's uterus, which is stupid because every other Soni/Rosechu were just shat out of a rainbow anyway). Bubbles, however, insists that he is a 20-year-old "starting straight with a 2-year old body". Bubbles asks Blake what he wished for and he says "It's already come true", where Chris is either butchering the classic teen film "Sixteen Candles" or the Family Guy parody of it. The two kiss, and Black Sonichu agrees to rendezvous with Bubbles at the CWCville Spring Break Concert on March 22. <br />
<br />
Chris introduces Spring Break by ripping off a gag from a ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode, wherein Meg Griffin tries to ignore Spring Break by flipping channels, only to find that every station is covering Spring Break, including the news. Chris repeats the joke almost verbatim, except he fails to include anyone actually watching the television, thus undermining the premise. The scene is best remembered for the appearance of ''[[Excel-Saga|FQX]]'' newswoman Greta Squall, a hideously deformed woman with club-like arms and scars on her face which look like the numeral "2".<br />
{{clear}}<br />
===Spring Break, 2008!===<br />
{{Resources<br />
| title = Spring Break, 2008!<br />
| cwcipedia =http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_66 ''Episode 18''<br />
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}}''Episode 18''<br />
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P2.htm ''Episode 18''<br />
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBk_MebLB0k ''Episode 18''}}<br />
The story proper opens with [[KCWC]] DJs [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] covering the event.<br />
<br />
{{quote|We have a lot of great events and giveaways goin' on here today. Thank our mayor, Mr. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] that [[CWCville]] is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or somkey! We've got coolers and kegs full of our famously delicious [[CWC-Cola]], Diet CWC-Cola, Lemonade, Grape and Orange Soda, compliments of our local CWC-Cola Bottling Company, founded and opened proudly in 1985; three years after CWCville was founded by our mayor's father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] You can enter to win a 40-inch Sony HD-TV from Cwick-Circuit City, or drive home in a shiny new '08 Chevy Camaro Concept. Also tonight, our rising star, [[Jiggliami]] will be singing her debut single, "War of Love" on the concert stage here at CWCville Beach. So stay tuned to CWCville, [[Virginia]]'s number 1 radio station for all this and a lot more!|Jamsta Sonichu, desperately craving nicotine and liquor}}<br />
<br />
Almost immediately, Lolisa excuses herself to take a swim. <br />
<br />
On the stage, Jiggliami and [[Blanca]] eagerly await their performance. As in their appearance in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], both of them babble incoherently about their music. Blanca maintains that she will wait for Chris to return from the time void — ironic, since Blanca had betrayed Chris long before this episode was uploaded to the internet. <br />
<br />
On the beach, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy themselves. Like Franklin from [[Wikipedia:Peanuts|''Peanuts'']], characters with suntans are depicted with vertical lines for shading. When Chris does it, though, it just looks like the characters are shaking uncontrollably, teleporting, or just soaked with [[comeuppance|jizz]]. While Sonichu heads off to surf, the Rosechus lie on the beach. <br />
<br />
For no good reason, Bubbles explains that she has no need for sunscreen, because she is incapable of tanning and impervious to sunburn. This has something to do with her being a Water-type Pokémon, her body being composed of 90% water (which would be rather unstable in the first place), and her fur being capable of adapting itself to her surroundings. This would beg the question of how ''any'' Electric Hedgehog Pokémon can tan, being covered with fur as they are. Of course, in reality [[Honor roll|water does not have that effect on the ability to tan at all]].<br />
<br />
The Rosechus notice a mysterious black Rosechu, and later catch up with [[Megagi]] and [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[PandaHalo]] make a cameo appearance as well. <br />
<br />
Bubbles's sunbathing is interrupted when Magi-Chan contacts her to collect a Sonichu Ball from the ocean. Before she can get up to find the ball, Black Sonichu kicks sand on the girls. Rosechu threatens to attack him, but Bubbles offers to do it herself, and pretends to force Black Sonichu away from the others. While she and Blake seem determined to hide their relationship, Rosechu and Angelica secretly know the truth, and laugh at the transparency of Bubbles's ruse. <br />
<br />
Chris incorporates a drawing of Sonichu surfing by PandaHalo, yet he manages to dick up the continuity by drawing in different colored water around the edges of the picture. Also, Sonichu wasn't wearing his shoes earlier, but Panda's drawing shows him wearing shoes. <br />
<br />
Elsewhere on the beach, Bubbles tells Blake of her mission to find the Sonichu Ball, and they agree to meet at Pier 969 later for disgusting sex. Little do they know that the black Rosechu from before has eavesdropped on their conversation. As she transforms into a duplicate of Bubbles, Chris introduces her as [[Silvana Rosechu]] and explains that hers was the ''sixth'' egg that emerged from the [[Rainbow]] along with the five eggs that became the Chaotic Combo. Silvana's egg wound up on the Earth's moon, where [[Count Graduon]] somehow made telepathic contact with her in [[1980s#1989|1989]]. As Mewtwo mentored the infant Magi-Chan Sonichu, so did Graduon raise Silvana. In addition to training her in the ways of evil, Graduon "upgraded" Silvana to have both male and female genitalia, and enabled her to change her shape.<br />
<br />
In the Atlantic Ocean, Bubbles searches for the Sonichu Ball, passing by fan-favorite character [[Yawning Squirtle]], among other crappily drawn Pokémon who sing the song "Under the Sea" from ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|The Little Mermaid]]'', yet another thing Chris has ripped off. <br />
<br />
The Ball is claimed to be 5 miles (8 km) out to sea and 2,000-5,000 fathoms (2.3 - 5.7 mi / 3,700 - 9,100 meters) below the surface, which is impossibly deep for Bubbles to dive (the deepest point of the ocean is 6.8 mi / 10,900 meters). It's likely that Chris used "fathom" (6 feet / 183 cm) as a measurement of depth without bothering to find out how big a fathom was.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Black Sonichu buys condoms in anticipation of the nasty, dirty animal sex he intends to share with his revolting mate. Silvana, posing as Bubbles, meets him, and convinces him not to wear a condom. Blake agrees, never suspecting Silvana's power to ejaculate a "paralyzing sleep solution" during intercourse. At Pier 969, Blake humps the foul creature, never suspecting that cock is ramming up against Silvana's own penis, which is perhaps withdrawn inside hir vagina. Blake passes out from the effects of Silvana's cum, and she teleports him to a closet in the CWCville Beach stage. From there, she returns to Pier 969 disguised as Black Sonichu, and lays the same trap for Bubbles. What she had actually intended to ''do'' after systematically seducing and subduing the various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|recolors]] is never elaborated upon. <br />
<br />
Before Bubbles goes to the pier, she hands off the Sonichu Ball to Angelica to ferry back to [[CWCville Mall]]. As she flies off, [[Punchy]] and Wild discuss their sex lives. Punchy wants to bang Angelica, and Wild seems uncertain what to do about his own loneliness. The two resolve to enroll in a Dating Education course offered at CWCville University, thus setting up the [[Sonichu 9|next shitty issue]].<br />
[[File:BubblesXSilvana.jpg|thumb|Silvana's eventual goal.]]<br />
At Pier 969, Bubbles meets Silvana, but before she can present her hindquarters for vomit-inducing copulation, she receives a telepathic message from Magi-Chan, warning her of the impostor. Why Magi-Chan knows the difference, and why he didn't warn Black Sonichu of the same thing, is left to the reader's imagination. Bubbles is skeptical at first, but Jiggliami calls to inform her that she has discovered Black Sonichu in the stage closet. When Black Sonichu himself warns her of the danger, the stupid bitch finally begins to put two and two together. Bubbles exposes Silvana by asking her to attack her with Black Sonichu's electrical powers. Despite the fact that Transform grants the user the ability to mimic all moves known by the target, Silvana instead opts to use her own psychic attack to simulate Blake's power, but Bubbles knows the difference. Silvana reveals herself, and teleports away before Bubbles can avenge Blake's manhood. Horrified, she returns to Blake's side to comfort him. <br />
<br />
That night, Jiggliami finally performs the damned song Chris had been promoting for four months. Chris credits Blanca Weiss for composing the lyrics on August 20, 2008, which contradicts the premise of Jiggliami performing the same song on March 22, 2008. Also, the song, "War of Love", makes no sense whatsoever, and resembles the sort of crap Chris writes all the time. <br />
<br />
As an epilogue of sorts, Chris establishes that Blanca found "her boyfriend" and returned to her home state of Kentucky, despite previously establishing that she intended to wait for Chris to return from the time void. Acknowledging his own personal life, Chris briefly discusses the three [[Trolls|women]] he was involved with during the fall of 2008. Chris claims to have been uncertain about which one to pursue, and credits God and Jesus for eliminating two of them by having [[Optimus Prime]] kill [[Sarah Jackson]], and revealing the second to be in alliance with the trolls. Presumably, this is meant to refer to Blanca, even though Chris has depicted her as his girlfriend in this very story. The third woman, [[PandaHalo]], Chris declares to be his True Sweetheart, and the person he would promise his [[sex|first time]] to, although he would abandon her for dead within two months. <br />
<br />
In a small note on the last page, Chris acknowledges the suicide of [[Ryan Cash]], and admits a modicum of responsibility for his death.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
==Alternate versions==<br />
<br />
When originally uploaded to [[Sonichu.net]], Chris offered multiple versions of the Episode 17, depending on which link the reader selected. These were based upon the ratings system used for television content.<br />
<br />
[[Image:TVMA.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-MA''': The uncut version of the comic. It was quickly unlinked from the site; however, all files still remained available.<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
[[Image:TV14.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-14''': A censored version of the above comic. Mostly, this is accomplished by Chris putting photographs of bananas over Sonichu's dick, an orange over Rosechu's vagina, and blue stars on her nipples. Other objects are used throughout the issue to conceal nude pictures Chris took from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. These lousy edits can be seen [http://www.mediafire.com/?tt0s91mnmez here]<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
[[Image:TVY7.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-Y7''': A version which omitted many pages of the original story. Chris appears to have created "Rage Against the Garbage" with these edits in mind, as the TV-Y7 pages are numbered normally, while the pages featuring nudity and sex were lettered (e.g. page 19-A, 19-B, etc.). As the sexual content in the story was gratuitous and pointless in the first place, removing it did little to harm the quality of the work, except that the plot is significantly altered. Since Rosechu's faceraping of Jason had to be removed, the TV-Y7 version implies that Sonichu and Rosechu left peacefully, never to revisit the matter again. <br />
<br />
Chris would rearrange the content in the TV-14 version numerous times before finally settling on a single version of the story, with most of the nudity removed and Rosechu's facerape attack left in. The hedgehog porn was reportedly removed at the request of his parents, and Chris would later add a message to his site stating his solemn vow to never again depict his characters engaged in sexual activity. This promise was soon broken when Chris created [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]] and snuck all of the deleted scenes there.<br />
<br />
===The uncensored scenes===<br />
<br />
By popular demand, here are the uncensored images from ''Sonichu'' #8, including the ones from Episode 17's prologue that now appear on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology CWCipedia's 'Biology' page underneath 'Reproductive Biology of Sonichu and Rosechu']. Enjoy [[mass debating|fapping]] to these, you sick fucks.<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Uncensored images from Sonichu 8 (abandon hope all ye who enter here)<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
Image:SchuComic9Page1-B.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page1-G.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page1-H .jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page5-A.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page5-B.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page5-C.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page19-A.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page32-F.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic9Page32-G.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic8P102.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic8P103.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic8P104.jpg<br />
Image:SchuComic8P105.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Episode 17<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
File:SchuComic8P1.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P2.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page-G-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page-H-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page-I-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P3.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P4.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P5.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P6.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P7.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P8.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P9.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P10.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P11.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P12.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P13.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P15.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P16.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P17.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P18.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P19.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P20.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P21.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P22.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P23.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P24.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P25.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P26.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P27.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P28.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P29.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P30.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P31.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P32.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P33.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P34.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P35.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P36.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P37.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P38.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P39.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P40.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P41.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P42.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page32-F-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8Page32-G-TV-14.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P43.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P44.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P45.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P46.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P47.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P48.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P49.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P50.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P51.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P52.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P53.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P54.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P55.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P56.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P57.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P58.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P59.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Episode 18<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
File:SchuComic8P60.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P61.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P62.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P63.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P64.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P65.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P66.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P67.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P68.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P69.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P70.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P71.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P72.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P73.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P74.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P75.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P76.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P77.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P78.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P79.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P80.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P81.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P82.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P83.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P84.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P85.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P86.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P87.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P88.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P89.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P90.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P91.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P92.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P93.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P94.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P95.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P96.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P97.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P98.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P99.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P100.jpg<br />
File:SchuComic8P101.jpg<br />
<br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
==Links==<br />
<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCjgNF0NTwQ Examining Sonichu & Rosechu Audiobook]<br />
<br />
==Sources and Notes==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]<br />
[[Category: ED Saga]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_Game_Talk&diff=171420
Sonichu Game Talk
2014-06-13T21:42:33Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>"'''Sonichu Game Talk'''" (officially "'''Sonichu Game Talk Part 1'''" and "'''Sonichu Game Talk Part 2'''") is a two-part video made by Chris in August [[2008]], in which he discusses the upcoming ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu]]'' video game by [[JK Productions]], which he would later discover to be an elaborate prank. <br />
<br />
Despite making no contributions to the game, Chris assures his fans that he is working hard on the storyline, which really just boils down to [[Rosechu]] getting kidnapped at the [[mall]], like in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]. And so forth. Also, you'd be able to play each stage as any of the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]<br />
<br />
Throughout the video, Chris continues to segue in and out of talking about the comics, explaining how he'll be returning from the [[Time Void]] to defeat [[Count Graduon]], only to step down as Mayor of [[CWCville]] and take a less prominent role in the story. Chris also hints that Graduon will encounter [[Metal Sonichu]] later on, which will have serious ramifications down the road. He also announces [[Black Sonichu]]'s name change, and his love affair with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. <br />
<br />
Chris also mentions the trust he has for his good friends [[Blanca]] and [[Robert Simmons V]], which is why he featured them in the pages of [[Sonichu 7]]. He then plugs the JK Productions blog, and signs off.<br />
<br />
==Part 1==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 1<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|OzwgJeWkoRs}}<br />
| stardate = 28 [[August 2008]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}; {{Video games|text}}<br />
| style = {{Reason|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{SeaGreenPolo|text}}<br />
| previous = [[An Official Sonichu Update]]<br />
| next = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 2<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I will be coming out of the, uh, time void.}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
An update to my loyal [[Trolls|fans]] on the Internet through the [[YouTube]]! [[Chris and his Ego|You know who I am by now]]: the big CWC, the original creator of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]], my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].<br />
<br />
Alright. Well, first off, I am going to, uh, give y'all some talk as, uh, w—as, uh... ''suggested'' by my, uh, associates, who are in… on the Sonichu game that's—uh, that's, uh, in development. I'm, uh, still thinkin' about the, uh, story very much. It's in m—all—it's—well, I got a big chunk of the stories in my head. It's gonna be, like, multiple stories, like, you know... we’ll go through multiple characters—uh, all the original Sonichu and Rosechu hedgehogs. That's, uh, one idea. Yeah. So, uh...<br />
<br />
Yeah. Well, anyway, I'm just gonna—anyway, I'm just gonna mention, uh, a few, uh, random, uh, things that I'm thinkin' about between the comic… and the game and... whatever else that may come out of it.<br />
<br />
Mmm. As for, uh, plans—as for future plans of the game once it, uh, gets, uh… once it gets fully developed and released onto the, uh, systems, excluding the, uh, [[Hex Box|H-HEXBox]]... [''stops speaking, looking suddenly confused'']<br />
<br />
Yeah. Anyway, um... [''starts tapping [[PS3]] controller against hand'']<br />
<br />
Once we get this—uh, once we get the, uh, game o—game project off the ground (hopefully with the assistance of [[Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]] and [[Sega]] of America [''inhales sharply''])... we will de—w—there will definitely be the, uh, release of the [[Jimmy Hill|official Sonichu merchandise]], including officially-released and… distributed—manufactured [[medallion]]s, for, uh, one thing. Copies of my, uh, ''C''—my ''[[DVD|CWC on TV DVD]]''... that you've seen only a few bits of on the, uh, [[YouTube]]... and such, and, uh, the ac—as well as, uh, possible—uh, S—possible Sonichu action figures.<br />
<br />
Mmm… let me point out one thing just, uh, so we're clear: the name of the comic is "''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''". "'''''Sonichu'''''". It's about—it ''should'' be mostly about the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon—''not me''; I'm just the intrusive director, and I picked up that plotline from the anime series ''[[Excel Saga]]'', with [[Wikipedia:Shinichi Watanabe|Shinichi Watanabe]] [[Parody|doin’ pretty much the same thing that I did]].<br />
<br />
But, you know, I'll give y'all a sneak peek: at the [[Sonichu 9|end of the, uh, season]], I will be [[Homo|coming out]] of the, uh, [[Time Void]]. But, also, I will be, uh, relinquish—I will be relinquishing my, uh, role as Mayor, but I will still be the main founder of [[CWCville]]. I will be giving the keys of... [''stutters unintelligibly'']. ''Storywise'', I'll be giving the keys to the city and the—and the whole Mayorship to my... imag—to my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|twin sister]]. But do note that I will still definitely be the original creator of Sonichu, no matter what, even though I'm just—even though I'm basically takin’ m’out—myself out of the story, 'cause I felt like... I've been [[Ego|hogging the spotlight]] for too long, so... at the end of the season, I will... humbly withdraw myself. But I will still be making, like, you know, ''cameo''... appearances now and then (as I see fit) in the comic. [''inhales sharply'']<br />
<br />
As for the, uh, story of the, uh, game... I got a few ideas on my mind—uh, alright. So, here's the idea. Alright. At the end of seas—at the end of the comics’ season one, I will reveal that—I will reveal that, uh... I take uh, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s, uh... ''wand''... that's, uh, also known as th—also, you know, is—has the spirit of the evil [[Count Graduon]]. He's gonna be the big, leading villain... in the second season. I'll be tossin’ the wand... tossin’ it up to [[the Moon]], and, you can take a stab at, uh, [[Metal Sonichu|who he will manifest into]]... that has been stranded on the moon since, uh… [[Sonichu 1|Number 1]]. Comic... ''Number''... One. Emphasis on the "''number''"... because... you don't wanna get messed up with Z—[[Sonichu 0|''Number'' Zero]].<br />
<br />
==Part 2==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 2<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nR6KrdM6pwk}}<br />
| stardate = 28 [[August 2008]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}; {{Video games|text}}<br />
| style = {{Reason|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{SeaGreenPolo|text}}<br />
| previous = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 1<br />
| next = [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Sonichu.net! 'Nothin' but net.'}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
So… that's something for y'all to—read the comic and get yourself familiar with. <br />
<br />
Mmm… let’s see what else we got here… um… oh, yeah. It's, uh, the main point—the, uh, ''villain''. Now, uh… as far as some ideas I have upon the, uh, multiple stories, uh, I'll give ya, like, uh, beginnings of what I have in mind, in a nutshell.<br />
<br />
First’ll be—first at—you’ll be able to unlock by—you'll be able to play by default in the video game—the Sonichu game... will be... Sonichu. The original—the original Sonichu. [''inhales deeply''] Basically, with the opening’d be him being—running about like, you know, like [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] would? And, then, he finds out that, uh... Rosechu's been kidnapped. So, uh, he's— so the— basically, his story will be to, uh... go out and rescue her.<br />
<br />
And then, uh, event—and then, event—and then, as ''his'' story progresses, he'll get to meet all the other hed—all the other hedgehogs, as well. But, then, uh, we move on over to, uh, Rosechu's story, where, like, you know...<br />
<br />
First, we, uh, see her makin' her trek down to the, uh, shop—down to the [[CWCville Mall|shopping mall]], and she—and then, uh, we—uh... As she g—we follow her as she, uh, picks up the—uh, multiple number of items she, uh, wants and needs, like, uh, [''switches to a disturbing falsetto''] “Ooh! Look at that [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]]! [[Women's Rights|That ring's so pretty]]!” [''switches back to normal voice''] Yeah. And, then, eventually, she ''will'' get kidnapped, and that will be where it will tie into the beginning of ''Sonichu's'' story.<br />
<br />
And then, we go to—and, then, uh, we go into [[Wild Sonichu]]'s story. Uh... not fully developed as to, like, uh, what his goal is yet, but, you know... it will definitely, uh, be like, you know... he'll be able to sss—vine swing through every level. At least, uh, he'll be able to vine swing as much as reasonably plau—possible.<br />
<br />
And, then, we go onto [[Bubbles]]. [''switches to a kinda-cutesy voice''] Everybody love Bubbles. [''fully switches to cutesy voice''] Bubbles is the ''bub-bl-y'' one! [''switches back to normal voice''] Anyway, yeah. Some—uh, [[Masturbating and squirtin'|she'll get more wet]]. I mean, uh, a—all the hedgehogs will go through… all the same levels, 'cept a variation. Bubbles will be mostly being a—will mostly be able to swim. Some—so, somewhat underwater versions of those levels. And [[Angelica]], you know, well, she'll s— she’ll be flying high... casting off Wing Attacks against, uh, the enemies in ''her'' story.<br />
<br />
[[Punchy]]'s, uh… he's just gonna be punchin’ down the bad guys… but, ''unlike'' Knuckles, ''not''—no—no treasure hunting. He's not a treasure hunter... He's, uh, basically just a master of the ol’… ''ninjitsu''… [''raises hands in a mock-[[Wikipedia:Ninjutsu|ninjutsu]] stance''] and something, but he mostly [''switches to a deep voice''] ''punches!'' Punch, punch, punch! [''mimes throwing punches, then returns to normal voice''] Yeah. And, then, [[Magi-Chan]], you know, he'll be ab—he'll—he’ll be similar to, like, what Silver could do, since, you know, he ''is'' the psychic one. [''slowly waves one hand, pretending to use telekinesis'']<br />
<br />
And yes, [[Black Sonichu]] will, uh… yeah, definitely give him his story in the—his own storyline, like, you know… you know, basically, starts off as ba—starts off bad, like he did, but, then, uh, he gets betrayed by, uh, [[Naitsirhc]], who turns into Reldnahc. Yeah. S—so, anyway, uh… yeah, they basically lea—so, they basically leaves him… behind, and, uh… tries—goes about, uh, lookin’ up his own, uh, meaning of, uh, life, and whatnot… like, uh, similarly—how Shadow would. But, also, reveal definitely… ''Black'' Sonichu. Also, you know, for short—for Black Sonichu was “Blachu”? I'm changin' it! For his nickname, as it will be revealed—revealed in the upcoming [''switches to an increasingly gay voice''] [[Sonichu 8|"Spring Break issue"]]! [''drops gay voice and puts on a vaguely Mexican accent''] Everybody have fun on Spring Break! [''returns to normal voice''] He will prefer to be called ''“Blake”''. Simply “Blake”.<br />
<br />
Yeah. So, anyway, yeah, Blake's fartin' around with Bubbles… [''switches to kinda-cutesy voice again''] but Bubbles likes to try to think that she can keep it—keep it to herself, like, you know, she wants to l—she wants—she has a, like, uh, you know… [''fully switches to cutesy voice again''] ooh, she turned on by the [''abruptly switches to a bad Palpatine impression''] ''Dark Side''... of the Force… [''returns to normal voice''] and all the ''[[Duck|naught-i-ness]]'' that Black—that Blake will want to bring with him! But it's obvious to Ro—it's obvious to original Rosechu. So, she talks to—so, she…—what's the word I'm looking for? What's the wor—you know, uh... oh, yeah. She gossips with Ang—she gossips with Angelica about it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, uh, among all the, uh, stories between my Electric Hedgehogs and, uh, myself, I'll be leaving s—the, uh, s—at the end of the s—first season. Mmm… I'll have a feeling that, you know, I'll be able to, uh, work better, once in real life I actually do find my woman to become my ''[[sweetheart]]''… but… you know, it's so—it's nice to know that I actually do have a… good [[gal-pal]] that I made over the Internet recently, whose, uh, inspired character—she was inspired by me. Her inspired character I've given my full approval f—of and introduced in the comic I just uploaded to what is now—can also be considered to be… [[Sonichu.net]]! ''“Nothin' but net.”'' Screw your ''com''! I got da net! Yeah.<br />
<br />
Her name is, uh, y—sh—her online name is, uh, [[Blanca|KawaiiKitsune]]… and she is the—and she, herself, is the original character of—the new bubblegum pop star: [''holds up drawing of [[Jiggliami]] while speaking in the cutesy voice yet again''] ''Jiggliami''! Jiggliamiii… [''returns to normal voice''] Yeah. So, like, you know, uh... it's possible she may, uh, act—she and I might actually meet in the future, but, uh.... Yeah, 'cause, you know… I—reason why I put—I allowed, uh, like, you know, interviews with, uh, KawaiiKitsune and, uh, [[Robert Simmons V]]? 'Cause those two—they both, res—they both—"each" have earned my trust… in their own way, between, uh, Robert's YouTube videos and, uh... just—uh, and then, a whole bunch of, uh, honest chats between, uh, Kawaii... Yeah. So, basically... they both earned my trust, so I give 'em... ''radio interview'' on the—in the comic between [[Jamsta]] and [[Lolisa|Lo-isa]]! [''"sings"''] ''Lolisaaa!'' [''pauses and returns to normal voice''] Yeah.<br />
<br />
Okay. So, uh, anyway, point is... Sonichu game: I just gave you the, uh, details on that… gave you a little sneak peek at the, uh... Spring Break issue… and, uh... and the Season One. But, uh, basically, the, uh, Sonichu game will definitely have, uh, you know, stories between… Sonichu and Rosechu and all—and the other hedgehogs. The—they're like if y—or like, uh, they'll, uh, start it—they'll start off with the stories that originally originate in Season One. They'll mostly be, uh, the newer stories that'll be s—revealed in Season Two.<br />
<br />
Alright. So, anyway, that's the, uh… update. Be sure you go to, uh, sonichugame.blogspot.com… to, uh, talk to my associates over at… JK… [''stifles a burp and exhales loudly''] Productions. Or, uh, con—or, uh, talk about how you're lookin' forward to the game because… yep… just like sonichu.''net'', I'm excited—I'm excited about the game, as well. I don't have any ''future'' plans as of this point, but, uh… you know, I think my—I'll feel better when my future's set, when I have my, uh, sweetheart.<br />
<br />
So... thank you very much, everyone of you, for your, uh, patronage. And I hope y'all have a pleasant day.<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[An Official Sonichu Update]]|nextlink=[[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]|}}<br />
{{Game Videos}}<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2008|28]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_health&diff=171381
Chris and health
2014-06-10T22:17:39Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris's [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]<br />
<br />
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to bathe, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, and [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]].<br />
<br />
==Nutrition==<br />
{{main|Obesity}}<br />
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]<br />
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]<br />
Chris is a known fast food-lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to four times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely.<br />
<br />
Chris claims that he cooks for himself four or five days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cook books.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti in a YouTube video (an incredibly basic dish), he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead made microwaved spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook and simply buys microwavable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.<br />
<br />
Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[Coca-Cola|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:<br />
<br />
* '''Breakfast:''' Often nothing because he usually [[Biological clock|sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon]], but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.<br />
* '''Lunch:''' Something quick at home or fast food.<br />
* '''Dinner:''' Eat out with family (fast food) or poorly cooked/microwave meal.<br />
<br />
In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|ramming stuff]] [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.<br />
<br />
According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other foods of any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7|Kacey Call #7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general.<br />
<br />
In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.<br />
<br />
It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.<br />
<br />
<br />
===Places where Chris likes to eat===<br />
* [[Country Cookin]]<br />
* [[McDonald's]]<br />
* [[Golden Corral]] (Has closed its doors in Charlottesville)<br />
* [[Chick-fil-A]]<br />
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]<br />
<br />
==Exercise==<br />
[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]]]<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center><br />
<br />
{{quote|[…] while my body is [[I AM STRONG|Strong]] and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].<br />
<br />
When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere thirty seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.<br />
<br />
During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.<br />
<br />
Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.<br />
<br />
In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles (8&nbsp;km) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Hygiene==<br />
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]<br />
<br />
As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his [[List of Chris's lies|propensity to lie]] and reports from people who have interacted with him suggests otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu]] that he smells good and asks him if he bathed. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that Axe alone can be used to rid of body odor.</ref> <br />
<br />
It would appear that Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> In Chris's defense, it should be noted that the clothes that he wears while filming himself are clothes meant to be worn while going outside of the house. Due to not having any of the obligations a man his age is expected to have, it is likely that he spent most of the time between shooting videos at home, possibly wearing pajamas that he may or may not have replaced regularly. It might be that Chris wears outside clothes at home only briefly during the making of videos and takes them of shortly afterwards. If this is the case, the clothes he is seen wearing for several videos in a row were actually worn for not much more than what it took to make the videos in question. <br />
<br />
The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cinematography|low-quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his hair, which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man.<br />
<br />
Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities such as bathing or showering, even if briefly. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.<br />
<br />
Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]], and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems have become more severe in recent years.<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Vision==<br />
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered [[Manchester High School|high school]]. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[dirty crapped briefs|dirty]], which will not help to correct his vision. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_10th,_2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video. <br />
<br />
One of Chris' relatives, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004. <br />
<br />
Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Sonchu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.<br />
<br />
==Dental health==<br />
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]<br />
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.<br />
<br />
Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[My Coke Rewards|carbonated]] [[fanta|drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]].<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Mental health==<br />
<br />
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). <br />
<br />
The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch—he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.<br />
<br />
It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris remaining a [[virgin]] until very recently, and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Whether or not Chris's encounter with a prostitute will affect his self-perception and maturity has yet to be seen. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]]. <br />
<br />
He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:<br />
<br />
* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.<br />
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to remember faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].<br />
<br />
Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]<br />
<br />
In the July 2012 [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jailtime in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which means that Chris may soon be forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky_Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "Counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned.<br />
<br />
Another mental factor that has affected Chris's overall health is [[stress]]. In August 2013, Chris indicated that the stress he's endured has begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. It's not unlikely, especially if you take into account Chris's other problems above.<br />
<br />
==Sexual health==<br />
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease]), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.<br />
<br />
In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref><br />
<br />
:'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He didn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].<br />
<br />
Of course, with the possible revelation that he slept with a hooker in [[April 2012]], he may have to check himself once again.<br />
<br />
==Other deformities==<br />
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]<br />
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].<br />
<br />
His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent.<br />
<br />
[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Autism]]<br />
*[[Obesity]]<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
{{Chris and}}</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook&diff=171293
Sonichu 8 Official Videobook
2014-06-05T06:52:34Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Sonichu 8 Official Videobook''' is a series of videos made by [[Chris]], in which he reads out the comics from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. He started uploading these videos on 19 [[September 2009]].<br />
__TOC__<br />
<br />
==Episode 17==<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage" Part 1<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fbVT--9K9d4}}<br />
| stardate = 19 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sonichu_8#Episode_17:_.22Rage_Against_the_Garbage.22|17]]<br />
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Chris]], [[Rosechu]], [[Sonichu]], [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]], [[Thurston Howell III|Mr. and Mrs. Howell]], and [[Beel]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#KCWC_Special|KCWC Special]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_2|Episode 17 Part 2]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
And now for the, uh, OK version... of... [[Sonichu 8|Book Number Eight]]. And by OK version I mean the OK version of-ab-bu of the, uh...next episode. Anyway, all [[Sonichu]] material is [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] March 17, [[2009]], to [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Any names or persons illustrated in any of the Sonichu comic books except that of myself that may seem similar to anyone in real life or fiction are purely coincidental or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]]. And to note, some of the following comic pages contain scenes of censored [[Honest Content]] that may not be suitable to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.<br />
<br />
Anyway, here's the cover.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Woohoo, it's Spring Break! Yayyyy!! Everybody runnin' 'round on the beach yaayy!!<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') And we're featuring a spring break launch concert featuring-<br />
<br />
(''terrifying, inhuman squeak'') [[Jiggliami|JIGGLIAMIII]]. Hihighgihdghidhidiiiii.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Prologue of Episode 17. Continued from an hour after Sonichu and Rosechu's date, 10 p.m., November 3rd 2007. For your inform- For your information, Sonichu turned 19, March 17th 2000, and Rosechu turned 18 September 22nd 2006.<br />
<br />
Sonichu and Rosechu have been living together in a cozy single story...fully paid...fully paid house. (From CWCville funds.) This is a map locating their house and the city...limits. Yeah. Mm. Basically their house is located midpoint between the mall, and a metropolis within that subdivision. At Humble 14 Branchville Lane, CWCville, Virginia, 02024, 1982. Thank god I took Computer Aided Draft and Design ([[CADD]]) classes to make these accurate measurements. Plus also, they have been married since [[2006]]. March 2006. Getting on with the story.<br />
<br />
Inside the Master Bedroom that night after their fun date.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Here Sweet Bolt, we're both nice and clean. Ready to get dirty agaiiin.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') You bet ya sweet bawd, gurl. Good thing we stopped for a [[Raincoat|pack of condoms]]. It's too bad the regular ones break easily on my...[[Duck|seven-incher]]. It's more like...s...more like "Size 5 or Less" to measure those wimps.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Well, maybe the double extra length'll stay long- stay stronger and longer on your healthy girth!<br />
<br />
(''mistakenly in falsetto'') Well I'm- (''normal voice'') Well I'm into a little missionary, cowgirl. You think you can handle it?<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') I think I can, HOT SHOTTT. I think I can hot shot. Insert Rod A into Slot B!<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Mmm. Let's pause for a moment, um, never mind we'll skip that part, uh, I had to cut that part out. Anyway.<br />
<br />
Anyway, Episode 17. Rage Against The Garbage.<br />
<br />
The next morning at 10am, November 3rd [[2007]] in the master bedroom, Rosechu's lookin' on the computer and Sonichu's just gettin' up to greet her. She got up earlier.<br />
<br />
Good mornin', too-cute-to-bolt! Last night was awesome! I had a dream that we double-date with [[Bionic]] and Mejajy- [[Megagi]]. How'd you like to SING?!<br />
<br />
Rosechu replies,<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Cool ya cuddlin, Sonichu. I was just checkin' out this webpage Kelly told me about yesterday. It seriously drags Chris's and our names through major MUCK!<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Whoa, really?<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Hecks yeah! Take a look at.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Huh. Some major [[4-cent garbage]].<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Dot com, yes. But it gets worse beyond the texsxst.<br />
<br />
(''normal'') WHAT?! When was that photo taken? Did someone sneak through our neighborhood watch and intrude in our house just to put a camera in here and take a peek shots of you and me? Not only that but Bubbles and BLAKE? And since when did Angelica did THAT? And when did Slaweel Ryam sell herself out? And when did Christian and Meg-chan-<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') SONICHU! [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Those are hand drawings. Not photographs.]]<br />
<br />
(''normal'') Oh. Still, [[Chris and his Ego|they look so lifelike.]]<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Ugh. And this, to my most distressed distaste is the apex of the page.<br />
<br />
URGH<br />
<br />
(''whoosh sound effect'')<br />
<br />
He rushes to the bathroom.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Hmm. Well, I certainly feel like crying that game as well. Thank god for blessing me with a healthy set of woman parts. How dare they portray me otherwise, those monsters?! [[Curse|Cursssse]] every last idiot behind this garbage!<br />
<br />
(''Sonichu vomiting, also a typical reaction to any Sonichu strip'') URGHGH HURRGH EURRGFFF BLUEERGH HREERGH poor Sonichu HERGHHB BELERRGHH ERGHFFF UGH ERRGH UGH ARRERGHH GERGHHHH BLEARGH.<br />
<br />
He crawls back in.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') I can't believe those...those...monsters! Ugh, last time I checked you're an all-true, full-fledged WOMAN, and you were the main woman in this month's Pokayboy magazine! If the centerfolds of this magazine is not proof that you're a woman, then you'd have to go down there and prove it...to them. OHHH.<br />
<br />
(''coughing'') Ugh.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Oh my god Sonichu! Oh my [[sweetbolt]], you got stressed out from the shock!<br />
<br />
(''normal'') I'm sawry.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Here, rest your weary head and recover your strength. We'll go to their main building later and try to reason with them.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Egh, I'm so mad at them! HNNG. Lousy dickhead idiots! They think they can get away with putting a sh...strap-on all over mah glorious beautiful pussy? Their behinds are gonna get SPANKED HARD! Mm. Well, I'll start by replacing their slanderous mockeries with an equal number of my own [[Rule 34|self-centerfolds]]!<br />
<br />
(''sound effects'') Prf. Beep beep! Doin' this in the bathroom...TIKWERR! KWIKWERR! KWIKWERR! KLIKWERR! CLICK WHIRR! CLICK WHIRR. CLICK WHIRR. CLICK WHIRR.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Thirty minutes later, she comes out of the bathroom with her...pictures on the memory card.<br />
<br />
(''tuneful sound effects'') Beep-beep, beep-beep beep-beep-beep beep-beep beep.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'')Hmmm...Shoot! That's 10 more or so o' those dang images there were...than there were earlier. (''unintelligible'') showed up. Hmm... Uh! I should ask [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] for their assistance! They'll be glad to rally for [[Women's rights|the cause]]!<br />
<br />
LATER THAT DAY, at 1:45pm, at 4-cent_garbage building, in Clarksville, Tennessee. Sssssseventy-two stories.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Wow, that's tall, exclaims Sonichu.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Sonichu, stay focused. We're here to meet the head of this company and reason with him.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Yes, my blossoming zapbud. That's why we are here. Hey, it was good of [[Magi-chan]] to teleport us here. By the way, you called earlier to make our appointment, what was the name of who we're meetin' again?<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Well, he did not give his last name, but he only introduced us, as "[[Jason Kendrick Howell|Jason]]".<br />
<br />
(''sudden horrible accent'') Oh, Lovey! If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, not to leave your purse at our mansion!<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') I'm sorry, Thurston. But we were on that island for so long, I've gotten used to strolling without it!<br />
<br />
(''accent'') Indeed!<br />
<br />
Heh heh.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Well, while y'all are [http://equotes.wetpaint.com/page/Ric+Flair+Quotes wheelin' and dealin'] wi', I'll search for the sixth So- Sonichu... <s>[[Homos|Ball]]</s> Chaotic Crystal. That Magi-chan detected in the building.<br />
<br />
(''TL;DL'') A day doesn't go by when I can't help but appreciate the stealth teachings of my father. He was leader of his cut-sharp clan of Scyther and <s>Scizor</s> Sizzor. One day on a mission to- for swi- swift revenge on the Charmeleon cult for burning down the jungle dojo, he was captured by poachers. I was close behind his trail when it happened. I wept as I saw him being put into their van. I tried to release my fahurrr, but he told me, to stop. He said there was no way I could cut through that steel. They drove off, and the last thing I saw of him was a passing...of-the-torch look in his eyes. Since then, I swore revenge on those...monsters.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Just be safe, Wild. Don't get yourself caught.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Yeah, we support ya, man. If you get caught, we'll come to your rescue.<br />
<br />
And then S- Wild Sonichu goes into his...Conversion attack to blend in with all surroundings. (I learned it from a passing Porygon.) Then Wild Sonichu dashes into the building, in his camouflage. And Sonichu comments, Wow. When Wild blends in, he dun' fool around! Now let's go clean the mud off our good names. And then Sonichu and Rosechu walk into the building themselves. Wild-eh pretty much, deh, Wild dashed in quickly, ah, mm, yeah he dashed in right behind 'em. Anyway.<br />
<br />
They walk in, 'n'de'like, wooooooow. Yeah.<br />
<br />
DUN DUN DUN DUUN DUUN DUUUN.<br />
<br />
(''falsetto'') Wow, it really sets the mood.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Yeah. If you live in a volcano.<br />
<br />
Sonichu and Rosechu approach the nearby receptionist desk. (Ah, excuse me, my lady friend and I have a 2 o'clock appointment with the head of your company.) And he's just sittin' there, watching his o- watching his own, watching the own s- stuff that's, uh, goin' up an' down on the, uh, ED site, on the, 4-cent_garbage site. Anyway, he replies,<br />
<br />
(''retarded deep voice'') Yer, sure, go- Go the opposite side o' column, and take de elevator to floor sitsty sits PLUS sits. (''clearing throat'') EGH-HEM.<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') Ah, excuse me, but that math equation, wouldn't it be the seventy-second floor?<br />
<br />
(''deep voice again'') YES! IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL! GET GOIN, I'M BUSY HERE! AAEERRHHH!!!<br />
<br />
(''normal voice'') ...Gee...thanks.<br />
<br />
(''video abruptly ends'')<br />
<br />
===Part 2===<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage" Part 2<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ATnZSkWoGLc}}<br />
| stardate = 19 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sonichu_8#Episode_17:_.22Rage_Against_the_Garbage.22|17]]<br />
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Chris]], [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and [[Jason]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_1|Episode 17 Part 1]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_3|Episode 17 Part 3]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
So they go around to the other side of the column and Rosechu pushes the elevator button. ENGH! Can you belive how rude that guy was? He wouldn't even turn around for simple eye contact!<br />
<br />
''(falsetto)'' Sonichu, I understand that he offended you, but remember the story of-Joseph's story? Forgiveness.<br />
<br />
''(normal voice)'' Dunnnnnnnnn.<br />
<br />
''(falsetto)''We are all blessed with the light of god. Just take your time and enjoy and pray.<br />
<br />
''(normal Voice)'' Yeah. Mm-kay. Jesus did die for us. Thank you Rosey. You are my best voice of reason alongside Jesus. Huh. Hmmm. But it makes me wonder, if there's a jerk like that on this floor, I can only imagine what else can be on the other floors here.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, oh yeah, while there is the exit in the back of the building. Pfft. He's in the camouflage. And he has the crystal... the chaotic crystal in his hand. And he senses d-d-senses that the uh he has to go up to find the next one. And so he shoots his vine whip. ''(assorted wooshing sounds)'' He latches on to the-uh four hook ceiling piece, and then winds himself upwards. Going up and up and up and up until... Until the uh crystal in his hand lets him know that he's on the right floor to uh, to where the next crystal is.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile Sonichu and Rosechu are getting a view of what's on the other floors. Like on the second floor these two guys are working on the uh 4-cent_garbage site. They clock in and out in sync. "Hey dude! You get over your hangover yet? You ready to work?" "Yeah, I think so" "Great I'm gonna check out my shift." All the other guys are Conked out...passed out, cuz it's not their shift yet. Then he glugs his reeb, heh-heh, and then he conks out. "OK well it's my shift then, Heheheheh, everybody else get drunk and I'm going online now it's my turn." That's their response they just disgusted over it.<br />
<br />
And then they go to the next floor and they see this tho-they see this little thing happening. "I don't understand what's the deal with that. A bear?" I dunno. And then this person's saying "I hate SRMS whatever that is." ''(falsetto)'' I don't get this either. I don't even get it myself. Seriously. As the author, I do not get it. I really don't understand that. Anyways, continuing on.<br />
<br />
7th Floor, they notice that somebody is putting another wrong thing on Rosechu. She dashes out of the elevator, and clobbers the guy and lets him know.<br />
<br />
''(falsetto)'' I have a vagina, uterus, and ovaries, ya freak!<br />
<br />
And then on the next floor, sonichu notices that, uh another wrongful image and homes attacks the guy behind that and "Ahh that just really ticks me off!"<br />
<br />
And then on the next floor they both see something that really offends the both of them and they just give this guy a thunderbolt. "Ahh!"<br />
<br />
And then on the next floor it's like you know I had to warp in and take a shot at it. I mean,that's a soda cup! That's a beverage cup from a *Cough* target or get-tar cafe. And what did I say against that sour vegetable? ''(More whooshing noises with mouth)'' Yayyy! Bravo! ''(More weird mouth breathing)'' Good show! They applaud me. OK! See ya in the next book!<br />
<br />
On the 11th floor we've got this silly comic. <br />
<br />
''(Creepy falsetto)'' Nyaa! 2d! It's easy to change the nappy! You like all men just don't have the courage. You have courage only to watch these useless zombies movies! Kekukekukeku. <br />
<br />
''(weird voice)'' I could name many things that would show you my courage! But I'm thinking we need to remember to do we got memory. We got married. <br />
<br />
''(Normal voice)'' Eh. Now that's just plain sad. <br />
<br />
''(Falsetto)'' Yeah.<br />
<br />
And then on this floor, "Huh. Since when did Knuckles become so popular?"<br />
<br />
Whaat!? Geeze, it's that bear again. What is up with that bear.<br />
<br />
''(Abrupt Cut to next page)'' Then on the 69th floor. Hmmm. From the director, which is me, I wish to take a moment to inform you that-the reader, that even though this image of an Xbox 360 was drawn in the form of an anime girl android, it does not reflect in any shape or form my idea of women so the following act I will do unto a hand-drawing recreation of the console only reflects my hatred towards the hex-box in general. Not any feelings towards women, anime or real. Ladies, I care about y'all. Although y'all will be... although only one will be my true sweetheart. Surely will not be this girl. Because she's fake.<br />
<br />
Anyway ''Pfft sound effect'' On the next floor. <br />
<br />
''(falsetto)'' "Yeahh! Kill that Hex-box!"<br />
<br />
''(Normal voice)'' We have a new trophy! Killed the Hex-Box! Now you can play your PlayStation 3 or Nintendo Wii in peace! Hooray!<br />
<br />
''(Cut to next Page)''But on one of the earlier floors as they passed by, Wild jumps on the Floor. ''(Chris preforms a poor a capella of the pink panther theme)'' And then Sonichu comments on one of the floors that's omitted, "Eh, What card game is that from?" ''(More off-key a capella)'' Locked ''(Still more a capella, sudden drop in voice volume)'' And he shoots out a couple... shoots out a razor leaf. Uses it as a lockpick ''(More fucking a capella)'' He senses it... He sees a safe but, you know what the crystal's not in the safe it's on the dresser nearby. So he picks it up. Peeeeeoooww! And then he suddenly becomes visible again! "Shoot! The crystal's powers have overridden my conversion! Magi-chan, do you read me, Magi-chan, respond over!" He tries to get in touch with him telepathically. "Dang. This must be-this must some kind of force field blocking psychic links! I gotta get out of here without being spotted! Hmm. Legendary Crystals! Rest your power in my arms and remain dormant!" Vun Voom! And then the crystals disappear from in his hands and into his arms.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Sonichu and Rosechu get off on the 72nd Floor and approach... Jason!<br />
<br />
''(Garbled Voice)'' "Visitors! Welcome to my heck! I am Jason! A 20-year-old troll who offers only slanderous mockeries! And this is my Accomplice, Kathleen! You two are here to talk about the Chris-chan page on my 4-cent_garbage Website!"<br />
<br />
And then Sonichu glances at Rose-and then Sonichu and Rosechu glance at each other and they're like "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah." Hmm. And then Sonichu goes "Yes Sir! My loving caring sweetheart and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it be removed from the internet for good!" ''(Some sort of Patriotic a capella Freestyle)'' "For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud. You also drag the American homes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great humble United States of America among-along with him! You've had your laughs, but ask yourself: is it really worth it to continue on with these slanders, that drags the name of good people, within this country that was founded with love and peace within it, that those before us have fought valiantly to withhold... that was-that I was born and raised under the old gory that is the red white and blue. ''(still more a capella)'' For the free and the home of the braaaave! "In my answer I say nay! What is your answer Mr. Howell?"<br />
<br />
''(Garbled voice)'' I say you are a sap!" ''(shouting)'' I am a troll, with no such beliefs! I know that we are born, then we die! I intend to make the most of my pitiful life tormenting every person within my grasp... until they all die from the shame and dis-and the distress of their existence! The page will stay up! This meeting is over!" <br />
<br />
''(Normal voice)'' What you say?! I will not let you stand up to me and talk to me like that! <br />
<br />
''(Video abruptly ends)''<br />
<br />
===Part 3===<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage" Part 3<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8Z3DU9jZggg}}<br />
| stardate = 19 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sonichu_8#Episode_17:_.22Rage_Against_the_Garbage.22|17]]<br />
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Chris]], [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]]/[[Vamprosa]], [[Jason]], and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_2|Episode 17 Part 2]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_4|Episode 17 Part 4]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
HAAAAAAA And then Sonichu launches a thunderbolt attack against his-against Jason Howell. And then he made (?) defensive with a dark force shield *pwfooo Woosh!* Then Sonichu laun-does a figure 8, and launches towards Jason throwing one heck of a punch! "HAAAAYYYYYYAAA!!" "Uff!" But uh to be frozen-to be frozen in mid air by his dark force. "Errrngh!" ''(inhales sharply)'' And Rosechu watches in shock! And then Mr. Jason flings Sonichu away from the force. "Waaaaaah!"<br />
<br />
And Soni-Rosechu is just ready to catch him and she catches him "uff!" ''(Falsetto)'' "Sonichu, Sonichu! Are you alright? Wake Up!" (''Incoherent mumbling'') I'm sorry what'd you say?<br />
<br />
(''Normal Voice'') My angle was right on time to catch my home run.<br />
<br />
(''Falsetto'') Awwwwwwwww I love you too sweet bolt.<br />
<br />
And then getting up with Rosechu's Support, the Rosechu supporting Sonichu with her body she... she says (''Falsetto'') "Sonichu let's go. There's no reasoning with that jerk."<br />
<br />
''(Normal voice)'' But...<br />
<br />
''(Falsetto)'' Forgiveness. Just like Joseph taught us and Jesus.<br />
<br />
Erngh. And then Sonichu just looks a back at Jason with a mean grimace. Erngh.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile Wild Sonichu is ah, decided to... he jumps up to the ceiling from the inside room and then he crawls out through the... through the door's entrance on the ceiling. And then he launches a vine whip ''(more stupid blowing noises)'' and he clings to the-to the middle column. And then he... wait and then using the sticky...appendages he cli-he cli- he climbs around the column. Do-do-do-do-do-do. And then he makes a viant leap down.<br />
<br />
But back in the-uh 72nd floor Sonichu and Rosechu make their way out Jason comes ''(Garbled Voice)'' That's right Rosechu! Go! Go and play with your pickle!<br />
<br />
And he throws a- he throws a real pickle-a vegetable pickle and hits Rosey on the head! Pook!<br />
<br />
And she ma-and then she looks down and then she gets offended a little bit... and then she looks down upon it. And then she picks it up. Erngh and she gets really angry! And then she... KRCH! Breaks it in half with one fist! Eeeeeeeennnnnngh! And then she gets up and starts to get really really angry and she's got fire in her eyes! And then she just takes ah-and then she takes a look back at that jerk with a straight tail! Errrrgh! But in the last sane moment before she really gets angry, she warns, she asks Sonichu to fetch her clothes. And he says "Uhh... Sure." And she unzips her boots and then she uh she jumps out of her boots. And she jumps very high and in midair she derobes herself and Sonichu catches her clothes and he's like "oh".<br />
<br />
She lands midway between Sonichu and Jason in her-in her bra and panties and shouts ''(Falsetto)'' I've got three shocking bits for you, jerk!<br />
<br />
And during a short time she thinks to herself ''(falsetto)'' "I am the power! I am the warrior! I am the almighty women! True to all my gender, I will overthrow... overpower any evil and good-or good man who defies us! I ma-I make him succumb to our will! I have the almighty uterus... that makes me strong and super-powerful enough to protect the loved ones within me until they emerge in their glorious birth! But my ferocious will... I shall punish he who has defiled my people with the worst unnatural addition ever by this one's heinous hand! I am woman! Hear me roar!<br />
<br />
And after a transformation, she lunges right at him! ''(Falsetto)'' Aaaaaarrrrrr!<br />
<br />
And she sits on-and she sits on his sh-on his shoulders with her front to his face! And then she digs into his head... leaves a whol-leaves a whol-makes a whole bunch of scratches. Kttch! And then she leans-leans down to chomp him on his... chomp his head! And then she lets out a mighty thunderbolt! ''(bunch of whooshing sound effects)'' And Sonichu is like "Whoa!"<br />
<br />
And then she pounces away-and then she-after she's done she makes him fall-lets him fall to the ground and then she pounces back towards Sonichu. ''(Deep Breathing)'' And yet uh the Jason is still alive. Just uh hanging on-hanging on a thread he say "I should be dead. But dark forces keep me alive! Wow! What a show that was!"<br />
<br />
In her emotional recovery, Rosechu transforms back to her naked self. Which is a good reason for Sonichu to have her clothes on hand. "Rosechu are you okay?"<br />
<br />
''(Deep breathing, then in falsetto)'' "I'll be okay. I just need to recover." ''(More deep breathing)''<br />
<br />
"Anyways here are your clothes I'll wait for you."<br />
<br />
And a couple of minutes later in the elevator. And Sonichu's like "Wow! Rosie, I never thought you could be so strong!" <br />
<br />
''(Falsetto)'' "Yeah."<br />
<br />
''(Normal voice)'' "You even had me going! Wow!"<br />
<br />
''(Falsetto)'' "Great thank you-eh thank you sweet bolt."<br />
<br />
''(Normal voice)'' "No worries. We'll get you home and you can rest for awhile. You were awesome!"<br />
<br />
''(Falsetto)'' "Yeah. Hmm. What happened? I became so angry and then I transformed into some... monster! It took over me like some primal instincts! I couldn't control it! I hope this thing doesn't emerge again!"<br />
<br />
Anyways the elevator comes down quickly. But anyway Wild... it lands on the ground right in front of the elevator entrance in the back... on the uh south side of the column. And then he makes a vine whip ''(Barely audible whooshing noise)'' Clings to the ceiling and he launches himself to the ceiling and then he crawls above the front entrance to wait for Sonichu and Rosechu's return. And then a couple of minutes later Sonichu and Rosechu approach the exit-approach the entrance as it and Wild leaps down from the ceiling in front of them to greet them.<br />
<br />
"Wild. Glad to see you're safe! Did you find the crystal?"<br />
<br />
"Yes, I got it. I had-I had to hide the power within my arms. I'll release them when I get-when I get them to Patti-chan."<br />
<br />
''(Falsetto)'' "Hmm. Well I'm afraid our mission was not a success. That Jason is a real jerk! Errgh! I guess all we can do is pray for its- for the website's downfall. Hmm."<br />
<br />
''(Normal voice)'' "Well, let's get back to CWCville! Magi-Chan?"<br />
<br />
And then-And then back in CWCville, Magi-Chan hears their...hears their telepathic cry and he's like "I read y'all. Sonichu, I shall teleport you three back to CWCville right now."<br />
<br />
Later on in the Mayor's Office, Hmm... Sign-Alison is preparing-is storing-is doing some document work she says ''(mild falsetto)'' "Sign this, deny this, deny that, approve that. Hmm. I shouldn't have left Hollywood."<br />
<br />
Then within the office in the file cabinet room where we got the... where crystal is hanging round the moment Patti-Chan the uh crystals they have out. Magi-Chan says-Wild enters and Magi-Chan says "You have the crystals?"<br />
<br />
And he says "Yes. Legendary crystals, hear my call. Reveal your powers from my arms hallowed halls!" And then the crystals appear in his hands.<br />
<br />
And then they put the crystals into the dome, where they will be safe.<br />
<br />
''(Falsetto)'' "Well with my master in possession of two of the crystals, there is only one left to collect. Come back soon master! Arf!"<br />
<br />
The end of the episode.<br />
<br />
===Part 4===<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage" Part 4<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ilZRDfvna08}}<br />
| stardate = 19 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sonichu_8#Episode_17:_.22Rage_Against_the_Garbage.22|17]]<br />
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Chris]], [[Rosechu]], [[Lolisa]], [[Bubbles]], [[Angelica]], [[Simonla]], and [[Zapina]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_3|Episode 17 Part 3]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Episode_18|Episode 18]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Ammagonflarfloo!|Zapina}}<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: Hmm. Lei-ih-in the epilogue. Later, in Sonichu and Rosechu's backyard, Sonichu has the camera in his hand, while the other, while the Rosechus are gathering. And Rosechu says to Lolisa: <br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: ''(falsetto)'' Ah, thanks for coming, again for coming over to help, Lolisa.<br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: Eh, no problem, I'm happy to help. It really bothers me knowing that such a slander against our womanhood is goin' on right now! Ech!<br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Well, once we get our s-centra'fold shots and uploaded, those bastards will see and admire our beautiful lights!<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: ''(even higher, babyish falsetto)'' Yeah! And if nothing else, we can still have lots of fun trying!<br />
<br />
[ANGELICA]: ''(ungodly baby voice with some weird accent)'' With our [???] and our peaceful protest, we can wen to sahvov.<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: ''(in Rosechu's voice)'' Victory for women's lib!<br />
<br />
[ALL][???]: ''(Sings "[http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/marypoppins/stepintime.htm Step in Time]" from the movie "[[Mary Poppins]]")'' "Votes for women, step in time! Votes for women, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme, votes women step in time!" [Singing stops] VOTES FOR WOMEN!<br />
<br />
[ROSECHU][???]: VOTES FOR WOMEN! Downfall of 4-cent's-s garbage's-s garbages! Well done, sister electric hedgehogs. <br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: Hmm. Well. My associate shoul' be back soon with the ba-drops so we can get this party started. <br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: And then Lolisa continues to s-s-[cuts himself off]<br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: And I think she's here now!<br />
<br />
[TUNNELS BEING DIGGED]: V-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-<br />
<br />
[SIMONLA POPS UP]: Pffffffffft!<br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: You are in the righ' pl- [Realizes that she isn't supposed to be speaking yet]<br />
<br />
[SIMONLA]: [Sounds like a dude] Oh, I hope that -UGH!- I hope this is the right place. I hate this-I hate making mistaken turnin' the wrong place. <br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: Oh, you're in the right place, Simonla.<br />
<br />
[SIMONLA]: Lolisa! Excellent. Hmm.<br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: You're right on time. Well done. Heh. Son-Sonichu, ladies, this is Simonla. Simonla let me introduce Sonichu, Rosechu, Bubbles, and Angelica.<br />
<br />
[SIMONLA]: Hey y'all!<br />
<br />
[EVERYONE]: Hey, Simonla!<br />
<br />
[SIMONLA]: Well I got the backdrops! 'Ang on I reach in this back-pack and get'em. Hmm. M'ya. Here's the lot. Lolisa tol' me about your protest and I'd like to volunteer my services-s-s as a model as well. No worries abou' me, gal. I'm 19 and my shell is remomabble. <br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Oh splendid! With our protest [??? space language maybe] we'll really hit those garbage sacks HARD with our glorious womanhood. <br />
<br />
[ZAPINA ZOOMS PAST]: Zzzzzzip!<br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: What? 's tha?<br />
<br />
[ZAPINA ZOOMS PAST]: Zzzzzzzip! Zzzzzzzip! Zzzzzzzip!<br />
<br />
[ZAPINA]: ''(In a frequency that only dogs and dolphins can hear)'' OH! [Realizes that this is Rosechu's line]<br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Oh. Hi. May I help you with something?<br />
<br />
[ZAPINA]: [Alien space language maybe?] Ammagonflarfloo! <br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Oh. I see. How old are you?<br />
<br />
[ZAPINA]: My name is Zapina! [Alien space language] Annapolorfafass but wennasited shine-ah stop me! En way, aher you were loo'in fer' models wanna vol'nteer my services cue'nesses. 'M FOURTEEN YEARS CUTE! BING!<br />
<br />
[pause]<br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Ah. You cert'ly are a cue' lil' thing. But listen, Zapina, I trushally appreciate your kind offer to be a model. Ahm' 'fraid th-tha' as a responsible adult I can not assept you as a model because you are still too young. Hmm.<br />
<br />
[ZAPINA]: [???] Blat zorp! Ack er flur flur! Zyle sit in the trees use my tail as a spotlight! Anotnot anotnonur backyard!<br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Uhhh... I dunno, child, whatis with all the dumb laws 'n all... [Mumbles] Undundundun... uh. No. They're not so dumb. Well anyway, still, all things considered-hmm.<br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: EH! Couldn't but open-but overhear tha' this lil' one can shine light in the backyard says Lolisa. [No, the narrator did not say the last part- it was definitely in Lolisa's voice.]<br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Hmm. Yeah. She can. N'ya she says so, but uh-<br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: [pause] Come on, Rosechu, this is a volunteer gig! An' she's volunteer to be an impor'ant spotlight! I will personally supervise her and I will take responsis for anything go haywire. <br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Hmm. Alrigh' alright. I'll leave Zapina under your watchful eye an' fully responsible care, Lolisa. <br />
<br />
[LOLISA]: Thank you.<br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: Alright. In the mean-time we gotta party to here let's go, let's-s-s do this thing. [Repeats self] ALRIGH' PEOPLE! We gotta LOT of work to do! So let's-s get this party started! Simonla! Set up half the back-drops in the back porch and the rest between those two trees. Sonichu! Make sure the camera is fully charged an-an has an SD card in it and ready to work. As the posing mod-all the posing models need to be have CLEANED UP an' have make-up applied. Lolisa! Have Zapina searus up in that tree an' make sure her light can shine [struggles] upon both back-dropped areas. <br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: Bong-a-bon-bon! Rosechu the director! An'... the director's protest. <br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: For our rights as women among all people, I WILL overpower those slanderous jerks! <br />
<br />
[Stripping music is sung. The lyrics are "dun-dun-DUN-dun~!"]<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: End of the episode. Stay tuned for the nets one!<br />
<br />
==Episode 18==<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008" Part 1<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RomhMV6NWL8}}<br />
| stardate = 19 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|18]]<br />
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Chris]], [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Bubbles]], [[Blake]], [[Jamsta]], [[Lolisa]], [[Jiggliami]], [[Blanca]], [[Angelica]], and [[Megagi]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_4|Episode 17 Part 4]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_2_2|Episode 18 Part 2]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
Okay, before we get to episode 18, here's the prologue to it. December 22nd, 2007. It's Sonichu and Rosechu's living room. To celebrate Rosechu's 19th birthday and everybody's there. Yaaaaaaaay yaaaaaaay. Rosechu just blew out the candles, she just turned 19. And Sonichu kisses her lovingly. Yeahhh. And then Punchy's sitting on the couch saying "ROCK ONNN! YEAAHHH!"<br />
<br />
<br />
And then February twentyssss... and then on February 2nd 2008 at the Pokémon Centre at the CWCVille Shopping Center, we celebrate the birthday of the Chaotic Combo, Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy and Magi-chan, born on the same day.Happy birthday! they're nine- they're all 19 off the 5 of them, and even the bir- and even the Flame the Sunbird showed up to the party. Yaaayy.<br />
<br />
<br />
And then March seven-t-teenth, 2008, Sonichu and Rosechu's house. <br />
<br />
Sonichu: "Ah Rosey, that was a nice dinner, this is the nicest brithday of mine yet"<br />
<br />
Rosechu: "Oh hang tight, it's gonna get way better (laughs)"<br />
<br />
But then not- but then as soon as Rosechu flickers on the light it's a big "SURPRIIIISE! Yaaay. Neither of them expected this, happy birthday, yaay! Sonichu is 20 years old today yaaay, happy birthday"<br />
<br />
<br />
And then on March 21st 2008 at the jungle- on the jungle beach, near Bubbles' house:<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "Hey Blake, I got this cupcake just for you, happy birthday"<br />
<br />
Blake: "Oh. Thanks Bubbles. But I've already told you that I was cloned from Sonichu's DNA. I was not properly born from a Rosechu."<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "Oh that doesn't matter. You still came alive today, starting straight from a 2 year old body. You're 20 now, man"<br />
<br />
Blake: "Hmm. Well thank you Bubbles, you're awesome. Hmm."<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "Well now blow out the candles and make a wish."<br />
<br />
Blake: "Heh. I'll blow out the candle, but I already have my wish."<br />
<br />
And then they kiss. Mmmmm. Blake and Bubbles kiss mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmh. And then Bubbles says "You will meet me at the CWCVille beach tomorrow for the Spring Break concert yes?" And he says "Yeah. And I'll put on your act for your gal-pals. ehehehehe. Uhhh I gotta keep up the tough boy act and keep our romance a secret for a little while, at least just as long as I can, long as we can"<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "Yeah".<br />
<br />
Hey. How about some TV on Saturday March 22nd 2008. Pshh.<br />
<br />
"This is Um-TV and we're rocking with Spring Break! WAHOOOOOOO!" Pshh.<br />
<br />
"Ey, sisters and brothers this is PHI, we're rocking the world with Spring Break! YAHOOO!"<br />
<br />
"Leaving thousands and leaving hundreds injured, for FQX news, I'm Greta Squall. [?] rocking hard, it's Spring Break! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH! YAHOOO! GRETA! GRETA! GRETA SQUAAALL!"<br />
<br />
And now, coming to you live like a high five, on the radio from the CWCVille beach, station KCWC, it's: Episode 18, Spring Break '08, yahOOOOO! mmm.<br />
<br />
Jamsta: "ey there all you guys, gals, dudes and dudettes of all ages, we are rocking hot on the CWCVille beach for Spring Break '08! Y'all know me as Jamsta Sonichu, the DJ with da power!"<br />
<br />
Lolisa: "and proudly [?] his hot girl Friday, I'm Lolisa Rosechu."<br />
<br />
Jamsta: "Yeeessir. We got a lot of events and giveaways goin' on here today. Thank our mayor Mr Christian Weston Chandler that CWCVille is a clean city. Nobody has to go home drunk or smokey. WE've got [?] kegs full of our famously delicious CWC cola and Diet CWC cola, lemonade, grape and orange soda, compliments of our local CWC cola bottling company, founded and opened proudly in 1985, 3 years after CWCVille was founded by mayor's father Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. Also today, you can enter to win a 40 inch Sony HD TV from CWC circuit city! Or drive home in a shiny new '08 Chevy Camaro Concept! Also tonight, our rising star Jiggliami will be singing her debut single "War of Love" on the concerts- on the concert stage here at CWCVille Beach. So stay tuned to CWCVille, Virginia's number 1 radio station for all this and a lot more! Yeah!<br />
<br />
Lolisa: "hehe. Awesome Jamsta! Well I'm thinking of taking a swim in our clean beach's ocean! But I'll leave y'all to party as we <br />
hear from Ricky Martin's party, with "La Vida Loca"!" <br />
<br />
[sings] Everything, Station KCWC!<br />
<br />
Meanwhile backstage, at the stage, on CWCVille beach:<br />
<br />
Jiggliami: "Oh my god! It's going to be just fantastic Blanca! JIGGLY!!! Our first concert ever! Thousands of fans! I couldn't be more excited if I'd become just as famous without having to leave my house! Yaayy!"<br />
<br />
Blanca: "I'm excited too, Jiggliami! I play my tune in noise, and you sing with the power to energize the crowd, I'm proud of you!"<br />
<br />
Jiggliami: "yeeah! After this concert we will be superstars, meaning we can have any man we want! And with that kawaii haircut of yours, you are so cute, as cute as sailor mercury!"<br />
<br />
Blanca: "ehh you're the flirtatious diva of this stage girl, besides, there's only one heart I'm most interested in, although he's currently in another state of mind and dimension, I'll wait for him."<br />
<br />
Jiggliami: "Come on. You're the guitar hero of this stage will wow the hearts of this audience, so lets live wi-wild, girl! HOOOOOH! Jiggly. Jiggly."<br />
<br />
On another part of the beach, the girls are getting a tan, and Sonichu is about to go surfin'.<br />
<br />
Sonichu: "Hey Rosey, I'm gonna go hit some waves. You and your gal-pals have fun. Thanks again for putting the sunscreen on me. hmm."<br />
<br />
Rosechu: "And I thank you for doing my back as well sweet bolt. Be careful not to get electrical."<br />
<br />
Sonichu: "Of course heartsweet. I'll check in later. Yeahhh. Hmm. Yeah."<br />
<br />
Alright so then Angelica and Bubbles are nearby. Angelica says to Bubbles:<br />
<br />
"So. Ex-pain to me again, why do you not need sunscreen?"<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "Hm. You see Angie, I am a water type. My body is 90% water and my fur is capable of adapting to my surroundings. As I am on land, my fur adapts itself to reflect the sunlight off my skin so my skin is not affected by sun light. No sunburn, no muss (?)."<br />
<br />
Angelica: "AHH. Ok."<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "My only flaw with the bodily function is that I can't really enjoy getting a tan with y'all. Huh kind of a social flush really. Oh well."<br />
<br />
And then as time passes by, we have a bunch of other people walking by. In the background Sonichu's surfing. Right now this mysterious Rosechu walks on by. Badoom badoom badoom. Just looks at the girls. anyway Rosechu says "Hm. What a weird woman. Do you know who she is Angelica?"<br />
<br />
Angelica: "I dyuu-no, but I get a bad vibe from her."<br />
<br />
And then an- and then Megagi and Bionic pass by.<br />
<br />
Megagi: "Hey gal-pals. We're just enjoying the festivities."<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "Megagi, Bionic, what's happenin'?"<br />
<br />
Megagi: "Yeahh. We're just enjoying. Oh. I saw this cat gal fli- cat gal flirtin' with that Bionic, so I presented my claws of ownership. Ahahahaha! Well, catch you girls later."<br />
<br />
And then later on a couple of other women pass by as well. Anyway, uh, Bubbles gets a thought- gets an incoming trans- incoming thought from Magi-chan.<br />
<br />
Magi-chan: "Bubbles, I've just detected a Sonichu Chaotic crystal in the ocean. Please fetch it."<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "OK OK, I'll fetch it in a minute Magi-chan."<br />
<br />
And then right after that, bom bom bom bom, bom bom bom (noise), "HEY!"<br />
<br />
Magi-cha- bla-black Sonichu Blake, kicks sand at the girls' faces. "Hey."<br />
<br />
And then Rosechu takes of her sunglasses, also Angelica spreads her wings, in a little bit anger and Rosechu says:<br />
<br />
"Black Sonichu! What d'you do that for?"<br />
<br />
Blake: "Hey don't blame me, the sand was in my- in the path of my foot."<br />
<br />
Rosechu: "Oh why I oughta-"<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "Rosey, no. Don't get up. I'll deal with this jerk" says Bubbles.<br />
<br />
And then Bubbles grabs er, Blake's arm, and tie- and holds him behind his back like really pain- "AAAGHHHH" And then er, Bubbles whispers to Blake:<br />
<br />
"You're doing great. Keep it up"<br />
<br />
Blake: "Euh. Goood. Euhh. Uh. Euhhhh."<br />
<br />
And then Bubbles walks Blake away from the girls, a distance.<br />
<br />
Bubbles: "Alright big man. I'm gonna show you the power of a woman and it's not as gentle as you think it is."<br />
<br />
And then the- and then off the distance, and, Rosechu knows a little bit.<br />
<br />
Rosechu: "Heh. She thinks she can fool us, but it's so obvious that she and Blake are true lovers."<br />
<br />
Angelica: "Ahhh yeah it is so cute yeah?"<br />
<br />
Rosechu: "Yeahhh."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
===Part 2===<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008" Part 2<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GyIJdrbIR_s}}<br />
| stardate = 19 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|18]]<br />
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Chris]], [[Bubbles]], [[Blake]], [[Graduon]], [[Silvana]], [[Yawning Squirtle]], [[Punchy]], [[Angelica]], and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Episode_18|Episode 18 Part 1]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_3_2|Episode 18 Part 3]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
Now, during the whole time, Sonichu is still catching waves and surfing, especially as dit-, as pitayed in this Fan Art that was teriously contributed by Sonichu, Sonichu girl fan, [[Panda Halo]]. [A wistful murmur?] <br />
<br />
A'way, continuing on with the story, [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]] get fa- get a good distance away from the girls, and they walk pa-, they walk beyond the stage, the bay shop and the pharmacy that's nearby. Bubbles lets go of him.<br />
<br />
Ah, Ah.<br />
<br />
Blake is panting. <br />
<br />
Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah.<br />
<br />
Bubbles look back to make sure the girls weren't looking, and she turns to look at Blake and sees him panting. And then she tends to make him feel better by rubbing his shoulders.<br />
<br />
Bubbles (in the standard grating falsetto prescribed for all female characters): Aw. Did I hurt you badly?<br />
<br />
Blake: Only a bit, my Bubbly (pronounced here as Buburbly).<br />
<br />
Bubbles: Oh, I'm sorry Blakie-Boo (pronounced 'blue').<br />
<br />
Blake: How long can we keep up this charade?<br />
<br />
Bubbles: C'mon, you're doing very well! Hey listen, I have to dive for the last crystal; after I get it, I'll text your cell from mine. You wait fifteen minutes, and I'll meet you under pier 969; I'll make it up to you then.<br />
<br />
Blake: Oh yeah, that sounds good. I'll wait for your call then meet you under 969.<br />
<br />
Both: Good.<br />
<br />
And then Bu- and then Bubbles runs to the ocean away from Blake, to get the bal- to get the crystal, and then nearby, the new Rosechu suddenly transforms into– Bubbles?<br />
<br />
[Nasal whinnying, supposedly from the dastardly Silvana]<br />
<br />
Some sort of deception is afoot! <br />
<br />
But to best elaborate on that character, let's introduce the character. To let's– we have to go back into the fateful rainbow that originated from episode 1. In addition to the five eggs that hatched into the Chaotic Combo, numerous other eggs of various Sonees and Roseys emerged as well. This one was projected into Space and landed on the Earth's moon. So now I introduce Silvana Rosechu.<br />
<br />
Silvana(?): Beep, beep, beep, beep.<br />
<br />
The hatching date, Earth Time: February 1st, 1989. And just seconds after she's hatched, she's entrapped in some– in a psychic beam from Count Graduon. He's like:<br />
<br />
Graduon: Ah! New Life! –for me to corrupt!<br />
<br />
Keeping the new little Rosey safe in this bubble, [[Count Graduon]] enters her– enters her mind, and communicates with her.<br />
<br />
Graduon: Little one among many, I am Count Graduon, illustrious wizard, revered by all more powerful than most. I have taken heart of you being born alone on the Earth's moon. I'm here to take you under my wing, and rear you properly, under my careful and wise judgment. I am a well-practiced parent of a young lady much like yourself; now she is a warrior princess. My beautiful Sylvia. I miss her every day since being 'ensphered' in my wand of a prison cell. I only wanted to bring peace and order, but a [[Cherokian]] chief sealed me in.<br />
<br />
Silvana (in the creepiest baby voice ever): Syl-vi-a-na! (realizing her mistake) Silvana!<br />
<br />
Graduon: Perfect. And with that, which was your first word, I dub thee [[Silvana]] Rosechu, but my care for you and your training has a small price. To better you, I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have [[duck|both]] [[china|parts]]. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.<br />
<br />
And so, under Count Graduon's guidance and training, Silvana practiced her psychic powers, 'cause she is a Psychic type alone, and then eventually, she evolved into the Silvana Rosechu of to-day. And so, from after birth, Silvana mentally and physically became a strong warrior under the wicked guidance of Count Graduon from the Earth's Moon. Without maternal guidance, and low social interactions, Silvana had never learned to truly love, yet she, or he, learned to flirt without emotions. I can only take pity for this unlucky soul.<br />
<br />
Now, back to the present story. Bubbles is swimming under the sea to locate the next crystal, and Magic-Chan guides her.<br />
<br />
Magic-Chan: According to my psychic link, the crystal is about five miles from the shore, and about two or five thousand fathoms deep.<br />
<br />
Bubbles: Don't worry. I'll find it soon enough.<br />
<br />
''Woob-woob-woob-woob-woob-woob-woob. Bum dum ba dum bum a dum bum''<br />
<br />
[[Things Chris has ripped off|Sebastian the <s>Crab</s> Corphish]] ('singing' with curious attempt at accent): Under the sea! Under the sea! Down here it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me! The singing corphish. Hee hee he he.<br />
<br />
[[Yawning Squirtle]]: Ernn. Ahhh! What are you doing, Corphish! You woke me up from my nap-squirtle!<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Blake was coming out of the nearby pharmacy after making a wise purchase. <br />
<br />
Blake (smuttily): Oh yes, Bubbles. You will make up for earlier! (pervy laugh)<br />
<br />
And he's got his fist up in victory, and then Bubbles comes in from behind and grabs his fist. Actually, it's not really Bubbles, it's Silvana as Bubbles! And she say:<br />
<br />
Blake: Oh Bubbles! You surprised me! <br />
<br />
Silvubbles: For you, Blakie-Boo, I am full of surprises.<br />
<br />
Blake: What happened with the crystal search?<br />
<br />
Silvubbles: I suddenly felt more ready for you, so I came back to play. <br />
<br />
Blake: Oh awesome! I just picked up some condoms for our insurance policy.<br />
<br />
Silvubbles: Oh, forget those; you're not raining on my parade, and I want you.<br />
<br />
And then suddenly, he drops the box condoms, big mistake, and then he's like 'All right then! To our 969!' <br />
<br />
Silvubbles: Hih hih hih hih hih.<br />
<br />
Na, here's a note, when Silvana does it with either a Sonichu or a Rosechu, she or he secrets a paralyzing sleepful solution, rendering the unprotected victim asleep and defenseless. Just much like an STD in a couple who do intercourse. For your own safety, those of you who do it, wear a c- use a condom. I give y'all that advice. Ok, moving on with the story.<br />
<br />
So we follow the pair to, so we walk, follow the duo to pier 969, he says:<br />
<br />
Blake: Well, here we are.<br />
<br />
Silvubbles: Ok, well let's do it, right here, right now!<br />
<br />
Blake: OK!<br />
<br />
[An array of disturbing noises follow; Chris barely differentiates between Blake and 'Bubbles' in tone] Mmm, mm! Oh, yeah, yeah! More, more! Yeah-<br />
<br />
This goes on for about three- for about three– for about three minutes maximum. Then, [emulates the sound of splashing]<br />
<br />
Blake is like, aw, Bubbles, you got there before I did. Oh wait a minute, I'm still feeling buzzed, yet I'm feeling kinda... [snores]<br />
<br />
Silvubbles: Hih hih hih hih. Enjoy my sleep nectar, ya sap!<br />
<br />
*Poor attempt at SMS message notification tone*<br />
<br />
Blake's phone is ringing. Buh-buh. And then Silvana picks up and reads the text message from Bubbles. <br />
<br />
Bubbles: Blake, I had to travel a ten-mile round trip, but I found the crystal. Meet you in 15! Hugs and kisses!<br />
<br />
And now Silvana closes the cell phone, she makes her next transformation, and yet the real Blake notices that h- Silvana's transformed.<br />
<br />
Blake: Bubbles? It's not– Bubbles. Is that me? No, what? The real Bubbles, my Bubbles. She's in trouble– must stop that im-postor. [Resumes snoring]<br />
<br />
I must hide the sleeper, says Silvana, and then she picks up Blake, she picks up the Real Blake as a Blake impostor, she thinks 'jeez, you're heavy,' and then they teleport to the secluded area.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile the real Bubbles is handing Angelica the crystal.<br />
<br />
Bubbles: Hey, Angelica! I've found the final crystal. Please take it to [[Patti-Chan]] for me!<br />
<br />
Angelica: Sure!<br />
<br />
Bubbles: I have to go meet up with my boyfriend– I'll talk to you later.<br />
<br />
Angelica: Ok!<br />
<br />
So then Angelica flies off to the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] and the Mayor's Office. Meanwhile, Punchy and Wild are talking, just conversing.<br />
<br />
[[Punchy]]: Hey, Wild! Isn't Angelica just the cutest?<br />
<br />
[[Wild]]: I guess so.<br />
<br />
Punchy: You guess so? She is simply the sweetest, charming Rosechu in the world! I fell for her back on the day we s- all met, but I've been too shy to ask her out, or even talk to her. I don't know what to do or say. I'm befuddled, says Punchy. And Wild replies:<br />
<br />
Wild: Well, I've heard that the CWCville University is offering a [[Dating education]] class; I'm going to sign up for it, because I've been feeling lonely and I need to learn the whats and hows of approaching and dating a gal.<br />
<br />
Punchy: Ah! Perfect! I will sign up for it too; then, I'll be able to ask Angelica out. Thank you, Wild, for informing me about that class.<br />
<br />
Wild: No problem, Punchy.<br />
<br />
===Part 3===<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008" Part 3<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XHREdDh8dSo}}<br />
| stardate = 19 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|18]]<br />
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Chris]], [[Jiggliami]], [[Blake]], [[Silvana]], [[Bubbles]], and [[Magi-Chan]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_2_2|Episode 18 Part 2]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_4_2|Episode 18 Part 4]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[NARRATOR]: Hmm. La'er on back-stage at the stage:<br />
<br />
[JIGGLIAMI]: Jiggly jiggly jiggly. Hmm? Wha's goin' on in this closet here?<br />
<br />
[BLAKE FALLS OUT]: ARP! Pffft!<br />
<br />
[JIGGLIAMI]: [Gasp!] Blake Sonichu? [Pause] What'cha doin' in th' closet? Oh no! I better let Bubbles know about this.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: An' back at Pier Sis-sissy-nine-sissy-nine, Silvana-as-Blake appears-waits f-for the real Bubbles. <br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Oh Blakey-Boo!<br />
<br />
[BLAKEVANA]: Eh! Bubbly! Come. On. Over. For. A. Little. Romp.<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Cool.<br />
<br />
[TELEPATHY]: V-v-v-v...<br />
<br />
[MAGI-CHAN]: Bubbles.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: Magi-Chan interrupts the moment. [Pause] Thoughts. Bubbles.<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: What now, Magi-Cheen? I jus' gave a crystal-gave a crystal to Angelica.<br />
<br />
[MAGI-CHAN]: That there is not [pause for dramatic effect] Black Sonichu!<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Well he sure looks like my man to me. Now let us-now leave us alone.<br />
<br />
[MAGI-CHAN]: Your questionable-your questioning is reasonable, but you should test his electric powers to prove his true identity.<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Yeah. Like I'm gonna drop all my trust in him just like *that*?<br />
<br />
[MAGI-CHAN]: Suit yourself, but don't say I didn't warn you. <br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: And then her phone rings-and then Bubbles phone rings.<br />
<br />
[PHONE]: Ring! Ring! Ring!<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: And then she picks up. It's Jiggliami. She picks up.<br />
<br />
[JIGGLIAMI]: Bubbles! I just foun' Blake in the closet- back-stage closet! <br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: [Sigh] Listen. [Realizes this is Jiggliami's line]<br />
<br />
[JIGGLIAMI]: Listen! Bubbles, listen! <br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: Blake. Blake. Blake is talking. Blake. Listen, Blake. <br />
<br />
[BLAKE]: [Yawn] Bubbles? The black sonichu at the pier is a transforming ''impostor''. [Voice dies] Stay away. From him. Ugh! <br />
<br />
[JIGGLIAMI]: [Sounds like "he fell on tonsils again"] I'll rush him to the Pokémon Center. I'll be back! <br />
<br />
[PHONE]: '''BEEP!'''<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: [Heartbroken] Blakey... Boo? [whimper] [Pause] [Suspiciously] ''Who is this black sonichu?'' Uh, I'll play it cool for now. Hmm.<br />
<br />
[BLAKEVANA]: Ey. What keptcha?<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Eh. Nothing, Blakey. Let's do this right. Give me a thunderbolt attack. Come on! It'll turn me on! Hmm.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: In thinking-thoughts:<br />
<br />
[SILVANA]: Thunderbolt? Oh man! I can't even make a ''spark''! But I can-I can't say no, she'll get-she would suspe't something! I'll have to stick to a psychic attack.<br />
<br />
[BLAKEVANA]: Eh. Yeah. Sure thing.<br />
<br />
[PSYCHIC NEEDLES]: Vrm-vrlorm-rm-bleh. <br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: [Mumbles] Silvana-as-Blake launches some ''psychic needles''.<br />
<br />
[PSYCHIC NEEDLES]: Frm-frm-frm-frm.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: And Bubbles is kinda enjoyin' it. A lil' bit.<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Hmm.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: But then also-but also realizes the differences, like, ''that is not thunderbolt.'' An' then Bubbles says after he stops the attack:<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: That felt good, [pauses for dramatic effect] BLACK SONICHU. <br />
<br />
[BLAKEVANA]: Black Sonichu?<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: BUT THAT WAS NOT A THUNDERBOLT! WHO ARE YOU?<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: AND THEN SHE LAUNCHES A WHIRLPOOL to sw-to s-circle the two. <br />
<br />
[WHIRLPOOL]: [Gently] Ffffff.<br />
<br />
[BLAKEVANA]: Heh.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: Says the impostor-Blake, the Blake-impostor.<br />
<br />
[BLAKEVANA]: Heh. Saw through my disguise, did you? Well I'll tell you that I did better than your Blakey-Boo did. He couldn't- he couldn't tell the difference between- he couldn't tell the difference himself.<br />
<br />
[WATER]: [Gently] Fffff.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: An' then she-Silvana pulls a drape of water around over him-herself-itself and turns back into Silvana Rosechu.<br />
<br />
[SILVANA]: And as for who I will say that I was sent by a "friend" of your mayor and that this is not totally a girl talk. <br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: WHAT DID YOU DO TO BLAKE?<br />
<br />
[SILVANA]: Sweetheart, [evil laugh] Ehuhuhuh, I never kiss and do tell. <br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: UGN! [Long and drawn out] BEE~!!<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: She launches some thunderbolts within the whirlpool. Aimed at the- aimed at Silvana. <br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: [Sounds constipated] Ehhhhhhhhhn~!<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: But then she teleports away from the path of the lightning and jus' levitates in the-in the eye of the- of the whirlpool. And she says:<br />
<br />
[SILVANA]: How can you even ''think'' that wor'? Unlike you Bubbles, I am not woman. Bye now!<br />
<br />
[TELEPORTS]: Fffffft.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: An' then she teleports away. An' then Bubbles stops the whirlpool. An' then-an' then she drops to her knees- drops to her knees tired.<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: [Pant! Pant! Pant!]<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: An' then she calls on Magi-Chan:<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Magi-Chan?<br />
<br />
[MAGI-CHAN]: Yes, Blake? [Corrects himself] Yes, Bubbles?<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Please teleport me to Blake. <br />
<br />
[MAGI-CHAN]: Yes, Bubbles. Righ' away.<br />
<br />
[TELEPORTS]: Fffffft. Fffffp!<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: But then at the Pokémon Center Bubbles is nearby Blake's bed. Mla-mla and then Blake wakes up to see her.<br />
<br />
[BLAKE]: Bubbles. You're safe.<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Blakey-Bloo. Are you okay? What'd she DO to you?<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: Blake an' Bubbles also thinks:<br />
<br />
[BUBBLES]: Can I really refer ''it'' as a ''she''? If it was not a woman, then what was it? What a world we live in where such tr- what a world we live in when such trolls in it.<br />
<br />
===Part 4===<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 18: "Spring Break, 2008" Part 4<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|O18jpvbM9tI}}<br />
| stardate = 19 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|18]]<br />
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Chris]], [[Jiggliami]], [[Jamsta]], [[Troll]], [[Sonichu]], and [[Rosechu]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Part_3_2|Episode 18 Part 3]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_9_Official_Videobook#Episode_19|Episode 19]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[NARRATOR]: And then that night, at the beach's stage, am-juh-Jamsta Sonichu MC's the event.<br />
<br />
[JAMSTA]: Ladies and dudes... CWCville Shopping Center, CWC Cola, and [[KCWC|station K-C-Dubya-C]] are proud to present, for her pop star debut, JIGGLIAMI!<br />
<br />
[CROWD]: [Chris fails at attempting to make the sound of an entire crowd cheering]<br />
<br />
[JIGGLIAMI]: [Falsetto] Thank you citizens of CWCville, Virginia! My debut song was inspired by my old pikachu boyfriend, who suddenly disappeared from out home field. [Inhales] I have missed him a lot, and yearn for his safe return. Inna mean time, I present to y'all, "War of Love"."<br />
<br />
[CROWD]: [yet another lackluster attempt at the cheering crowd]<br />
<br />
[MUSIC PLAYING]: Duhdadadahdahdahdah dah dah duuuuuh... <br />
<br />
[JIGGLIAMI]: [singing] ♪ I can't hide this feeling anymore, doncha know this... the fever of love, dark clouds were hangin' low, a busy city had lost its color. Sunshine hiding away, twilight fading out, -JIGGLI!-, a shadow... me now, the world is not how it used to be...but I still want you, what could I do... what should I do, baka dana watashi, it's the war of love. ♫<br />
<br />
[MUSIC PLAYING]: Bumbuh bum bum bah bum bah buum, dunna dunna dunna duuuh, DUUUUUUHHNN...<br />
<br />
♪ I can't give you up, I hate to see you smile to every girl, 'cept me. I wanchoo so bad, too heavy and too deep. Please focus on me, I will show you how much you love me -JIGGLI!-, I scream out to you with a megaphone to find it broken, I try to reach up as high as I can, but cher eyes are never on meee! Now I look up to da sky, ...to find that it has been cleared, but it was not done for me, I can't stop these feelings, they're getting out of hand. Owah could I do? Wha' should I do? I swear in this love I'll never give you up, daisuki, it's the war of looove. ♫<br />
<br />
[MUSIC PLAYING]: DAAHnuh, dunna dunna duuh duh... lalla,luh lah lah lah lah, dung, dong, buh dong...mm, bung.<br />
<br />
[CROWD]: [Chris's attempt at the cheering crowd has gotten slightly more excited]<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: After the concert, [[Blanca]] found her boyfriend and left for their homestead of Kentucky. Jiggliami stayed in Cwcville to record her albums in accordance to "Jive Records" and CWCville studios. Currently, in the time void, or rather within my heart and head, a consequential conflicting decision had to be made. At this time in my life, I had met, an' unknowingly to myself, flirted with three wimmen on the innernet, I could choose only one. But with the help of [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] two paths were... light-lit up for me and realized that they were not the right paths.<br />
<br />
[VOICES]: Christian! Christian! Christian~!<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: I hadda to choose between these three women who won mah' heart, one at a time, all yet in mah' [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_3#IBAChandler.27s_Entry|autumn goodbye]]. Sadly one died in an automobile accident. [Sigh] In memory of that Sarah Jackson. A [[True and Loyal Fanbase|true Sonichu fan]] and [[Gal pal|gal-pal]]. May she rest in peace. An' one turned out to be a troll.<br />
<br />
[TROLL]: MAM-BOM BIDDY BOM BIDDY BOM! POM POM BIDDY BOM BIDDY BO~OM! <br />
<br />
[???]: Shut the dang door! [Pause] They can't take over if you keep them outta your home~!<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: Hmm. But one was true, honest, and compassionate. Understanding. FUN! A true gir-a true girl. A true woman. An' a sweet singer from the [pause] flip-side of the world. My [pause] thought-to-be-true sweetheart who I would've promise my [pause] first time to and would'a remained loyal to forever. Ah. Sarah Cassandra McKenzie. She was [pause] [[PandaHalo|P-Panda Halo]]. [Sigh] She died months-she [sigh] died a-a-at this time- in the real time she died about January, 2009 in the brushfires of Australia. [Pause] She will never be forgotten, even though I promised my heart to her before the time she did but she had not died I would'a kept my promise. But then I met other women a-s-side from that anyway. Rest in peace, Sarah. <br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: [Long pause] AN' NOW SOME WISE WORDS FROM SONICHU AN' ROSECHU!<br />
<br />
[SONICHU]: 'Ey loyal r-loyal readers-s. <br />
<br />
[ROSECHU]: 'Ey loyal readers. Sonichu an' I wish to take a moment to inform you that although our lil' [pause] ''fun moment'' from episode s-seventeen by popular demand we want to remind you to practice safe sets wi' condoms an' birth control prescriptions from a certified medical doctor. [Pause] Information on safe sets as well as STDs can be foun' in th' books atchur local library or on l-legi'mate medical websites on th' innernet. We, Christian Weston Chandler, and everyone in this hand-drawn series fully support safe sets and th' proper use of comdoms for vaginal-penile innercourse. Hmm.<br />
<br />
[SONICHU]: Also, in 'ddition, while we have fully support setsual edu'ation in high school, Christian Weston Chandler also highly recommends, and would gladly support, ''dating'' education classes, because while safe set is great for the eventual well-earned intercourse after three or so dates, it is vital to learn what to do even to get to date number one! It should be well-taught on how to approach and ats one member of the opposite gender up toward the very first date. Our generation an' future generations [pause] are at [pause] great-er-great risk if we do not support dating education. Especially when th-[pause] especially when tha' when we consider the homosetsuals. [Disgusted] They're all... s-! UGH! [Cheerfully] Anyway, we thank you all for your support. Have a safe day. An' enjoy life. Peace.<br />
<br />
[NARRATOR]: Stay tuned for the nets episode. Thank you. <br />
<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Book 8 Videobooks|linkname=Sonichu Book 8 Videobooks}}<br />
{{Videobooks}}<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-19]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_5_Official_Videobook&diff=171224
Sonichu 5 Official Videobook
2014-06-03T00:11:58Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Book 5 Videobooks|linkname=Sonichu Book 5 Videobooks}}<br />
[[Image:SchuComic6Cover.jpg|right|thumb|300px|''Sonichu 5'']]<br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #5 Official Videobook''' is a series of videos made by [[Chris]], in which he reads and comments on [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. He started uploading these videos on 15 [[September 2009]].<br />
<br />
*In Episode 12, [[Wes-Li]] returns to kidnap his ex-girlfriend, [[Sarah Hammer|Nicole Rammer]]! Then the action heats up, with the introduction of [[Sailor Megtune]]!<br />
{{quote|Aysmetrical feelings... I love [[Meg-Chan]], yet she's not ready to return or see it.}}<br />
*And in Episode 13, [[CWCville]] faces its greatest challenge yet: full-scale invasion by an army of [[jerkops]], looking to end true love forever and make a REAL [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virginia for Virgins]]!! Meanwhile Chris is in full-blown stalker fantasy mode with Meg-Chan, and [[Naitsirhc]]? Well, as for Naitsirhc...<br />
{{quote|Ugh... my head... my chest... WHAT'S GOING ON? AAUUUuuugh~}}<br />
:...we wish we knew.<br />
<br />
Other points of note:<br />
*Videobook Episode 13 uses the retconned Page 50 (Megtune's face) rather than the original Page 50 (the infamous Sailor Asscheeks). See [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] for details.<br />
<br />
==Episode 12==<br />
<br />
===Transcript Part 1===<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 12: My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Enm8Y_Hn9CA}}{{#ev:youtube|Qg0lUAHdYRg}}<br />
| stardate = 15 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Episode 12|12]]<br />
| other = [[Cartoon CWC]], [[Nicole Rammer]], [[Walter Grisby]], [[Sailor Megtune]], and [[Megagi]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_4_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode 8|Sub-Episode 6]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_5_Official_Videobook#Episode 13|Episode 13]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
And now, here's Book Number 5! Once again, all copy- all Sonichu material, ro- and Rosechu, and [[CWCville]], and all that, is copyrighted March 17, [[2000]] by me, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. All names and persons illustrate in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]] except for that of myself that may seem similar to anyone in real life or fiction are purely coincidental or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].<br />
<br />
And some colors in the- and in some- and a few characters in this issue were originally thought up or drawn by [[Megan Schroeder]].<br />
<br />
Anyway, here's the cover of book- Book Number 5! And it's just like you know Mary- it's just like [[Slaweel Ryam]] has made herself really, really big, and Sonichu's just standin' in front of her, and she's got me trapped in a mirror, and I'm thinkin, "Well, this stinks." Hmm.<br />
<br />
And then [[Sonichu]] says, "You won't get away with this, Slaweel Ryam!" Hang tight, I'll get ya out of there, Papa. Somehow...<br />
<br />
====Episode 12: My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding====<br />
<br />
I desw- I w- decided to stop doing [[Sub-Episodes]], 'cause [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] made me promise not to do anymore sub-episodes. So we doing- so we- so this points full episodes.<br />
<br />
Anyway, tonight's Special Summoned Guest Star: [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Jack's Knight]], playing the role of the groom!<br />
<br />
[''church bells''] We're at a church! [''wedding march'']<br />
<br />
I didn't really get an invite, so I'm just hung around there, and I'm in- I'm invisible, behind an invisible cloak. Pretending to be a best man. But anyway, just outside the entrance to the gate, there's, uh, [[Walter Grisby]].<br />
<br />
:If I can't have her, then I'll play magic.<br />
<br />
Anyway, the wedding is all- is going nice, and I'm, hey this is the wedding between Nicole and her- and her sweetheart William, and anyway I'm thinking it's too bad I can't stay to catch the bouquet! But at least I can watch my old friend leave for a happier life.<br />
<br />
As long as my uh, barrier attack lasts, I can main- invisible only in- I c- I can main visible only in spirit. And I'm also happy because, hmm, found the uh, sweet kinda good gal-pal who a-allows my heat to feel stronger with love. Sweet sailor soldier who I first met after having started playing the heart of the cards. Like destiny in a pyramid of light, but not just destiny, but a strong, pure love: sweeter than a passionate strawberry or the sweetest piece of chocolate.<br />
<br />
[''PSHW!''] Hmm? My sixth sense is tingling! What the! BARRR! There's an arrow flying around! I'm seeing the future, and it goes right through... William... body... <br />
<br />
:"AAahh."<br />
<br />
Ps- was future swot! Future sight! [''whimpering''] No, Nicole's happiness!<br />
<br />
:"HEELLLllllp!"<br />
<br />
He's gonna take her away? Jeeze! Oh, no, Sarah happiness will be ruined! I can't let that happen! <br />
<br />
:"It's time to play a CWC-spell!"<br />
<br />
...and I pull out my duel-disk... my deck. 'S time to play a CWC-spell! Spelled with C-W-C. Cause if you see my initials, it comes out the word 'quick.' Anyway, in this case, I'll place a CWC-Trap. But I'll play a Reasoning first. Hmm.<br />
<br />
And then Walt's about to launch an arrow, and I'm st-standin' right next to him, still invisible, and I'm sayin, "Walt! Walter Grisby!"<br />
<br />
:"Wut?"<br />
<br />
:"This is your voice of reason. You do not have to do this. There are other girls behind the light, magical curtain."<br />
<br />
:"I have no conscience!"<br />
<br />
[''PSHW!''] He fires his arrow. "Shoot! Activate Negate Attack!" My card pops up and i- it takes in the arrow.<br />
<br />
Is- and- what- Walt is like, "What is that?"<br />
<br />
Fi- is- ts- then somebody- and then somebody in the audience sees the flying arrow, he's like, "FIRE!"<br />
<br />
:"Liar Liar."<br />
<br />
Heheh.<br />
<br />
"Show yourself, coward," says Wes-Li.<br />
<br />
Still remaining vis- invisible, I make my little speech.<br />
<br />
:"I am no coward. Sometimes I'm a great duelist; mostly I am a loyal friend, and I can do wonders behind the scenes. But the truth is... ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER."<br />
<br />
[''WSHWSHWSH'']<br />
<br />
And I pull my invisible barrier curtain to reveal myself.<br />
<br />
:"I am legendary warrior of love and honesty: [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|CHRIS-CHAN SONICHU]]."<br />
<br />
And Walter recognizes me, he know- he knows my original name.<br />
<br />
:"Christopher! How dare you interrupt my frank and cruel lovey-dovey plans! YOU [[Autism|AUTISTIC]] FREAK!"<br />
<br />
[''FFW''] Ouch. <br />
<br />
[''mumbling thoughts''] Eh, remember Meg-Chan... future happiness for us... Nicole's happiness with Will... mostly Meg-Chan... wuluwulusuzu<br />
<br />
:"RIGHT! I do not want to fight my old be- my old be- my best friend's happy-dappy day, we can be adult about this with you leaving in peace and letting the new Mrs. Nicole Rammer Spice live her future in peace."<br />
<br />
:"Hm, you're right," says Walt. "We can live peacefully like adults."<br />
<br />
:"There you go, that's the way to do it!"<br />
<br />
:"But I'm gettin' her, not that jerk!"<br />
<br />
:"What!"<br />
<br />
And he knocks me down with a sock-in-the-face! [''PSH!'']<br />
<br />
:"If there is anyone who objects to this union of Nicole and William, speak now or forever hold your piece."<br />
<br />
William says- I mean Walt says, "Um, I do." [''PSHWPSHWSHW!''] And he grabs Nicole and... he dashes away Nicole and stands on my head. Oof. And he's just standin' on my head with Nicole in her- in his grasp, and he's sayin', "De dame comes with me!"<br />
<br />
:"Walter, you jerk! What is the meaning of this?"<br />
<br />
And then I'm thinkin', ok, who played the mega-morph?<br />
<br />
===Transcript Part 2===<br />
<br />
And then Walt dashes away with Nicole in his arms, and then I'm j-slapped awake.<br />
<br />
:"Get up! Get up!"<br />
<br />
And I'm like, just in a daze for a moment.<br />
<br />
An, the father of bride's saying, "Christopher! Please br-bring out baby back!"<br />
<br />
"If you don't it'll mean trouble for you," says her mom.<br />
<br />
:"This is terrible!"<br />
<br />
:"Uh... Nicole... Meg-chan... happiness for all... mmm... need... energy..."<br />
<br />
Activate spell absorption. Activate Dian Keto!<br />
<br />
:"Yeah, there we go! I'm coming, Nicole. I'm coming to save you. It's TIME to activate my quick-spells and my CWC-spells. Goodbye Magical Mallet, hello helpful duel-spells."<br />
<br />
[''PFFW''] And then I dash after the- after- We- after Walt. And Nicole. And I'm closing in on him, then I'm like, "Alright, my turn." I draw a card, standby, ACTIVATE CREATURE SWAP. [''SHWSWH'']<br />
<br />
An'den- and then I jus' pretty much swap myself with him, so I'm- so I'm th- so I catch Nicole in my arms. And then st- and then I break and make a u-turn, then make back way to the church.<br />
<br />
:"Uh, wha? Chris?"<br />
<br />
:"Hang tight, I'll getcha back to the church on time!"<br />
<br />
:"Darn him! That's! 'N Darn him and his stupido magic! I'm the one with the rabbit, and I'm certainly not gonna let him steal it from my hat!"<br />
<br />
He locks onto me and uses a combination of Fireblast and Flamethrower. I'm like, "Yikes." He closes in on me with the flamethrower, and then all of a sudden: [''FFFF-THOOMP''] He trips on this thing that falls from the s- falls from sky. And then he just sl- anadaden he jis... rolls forward, and then he gets him- hits with the hit flame, [''FFWW''] his own flame. An'den.<br />
<br />
:"What the flame happened?"<br />
<br />
And then we pause for a moment. He's like- Nicole's like, "Who saved us?"<br />
<br />
OK, yeah! Hey, she's here! Da-DUN!<br />
<br />
:"A wedding ceremony has no place for burned-up exes! Plotting from behind the sacred column serves no julus- justice!"<br />
<br />
:"And to destroy the dreams of an old friend of a friend of ours is unforgivable. And the hopes and dreams of future happiness earned from tortured times are priceless!"<br />
<br />
:"We are [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers!]]"<br />
<br />
"And we stand for lights of every heart and justice!"<br />
<br />
:"I am [[Sailor Megtune]]!"<br />
<br />
:"And I'm [[Megagi]] the Skunk!"<br />
<br />
:"And in the name of all hearts, we shall punish you!"<br />
<br />
And then Walt faces them and he's like, "How dare you two! I will not be taken down by the likes of you. FLAMETHROWER!" [''FFFFFFFFFFF'']<br />
<br />
:[''singing''] "ROCKIN HURRICAAAANE~" [''FFWWWW-PSHOOM!'']<br />
<br />
Deflects the flamethrower back in his face and knocks him down! And Nicole's admiring a little bit.<br />
<br />
:"Wow, that girl sure can rock! You sure know... you sure know how to pick a winner of a gal-pal, Chris! Christopher?"<br />
<br />
[''lovestruck''] Eyeahahhahah-lovey-dovey-yeahhiihhah~ WHAM! Heh.<br />
<br />
:"This is not the time to oogle my maternal creator! You have to play that last CWC-spell!"<br />
<br />
:"That hurt. Ow. Yeah you right; well you played your part pretty well, miss. Alright, I activate Dark Core!" [''FWWWW'']<br />
<br />
And then the dark core appears above Wes- above Walter. <br />
<br />
:"But his head's really stuck in the sand, so I'll have to putt!"<br />
<br />
And so I pulled out my lightning bolt to make sword used as a golf club and then I bop him into the dark core, and then that's duel.<br />
<br />
Later at the church:<br />
<br />
[''long and rambling thought'']<br />
<br />
:[''sigh''] Nicole almost lost her straight-forward shot to long happiness. I'm sure that I will get to that- walk down that aisle someday myself, with no trouble. Asymmetrical feelings... I love Meg-Chan, yet she's not ready to return or see it. I'd feel better if I could chat with her on the phone, although she uncomfortable doing that. Our email communications are ok, but speech speaks louder than typed words.<br />
<br />
And then some- and then usher tells me, "Chris! Would you comes to the bal- come to the room with the balcony please."<br />
<br />
And I say, "Ok." And I'm thinking, what's out that. <br />
<br />
And all of a sud- all of a sudden this bouquet falls and I catch it after Nicole says, "Think fast!" And I look up and I see her yeah.<br />
<br />
:"I wanted to thank you for the wonderful childhood years between you and me, and for being by my side today. I wish you the best of luck for your true love and honest relationship. Good luck to you, Christopher."<br />
<br />
:"Mmm. Thanks, Nicole, I wish you the happiest years as well."<br />
<br />
And that was the hhhh-appy wedding. Stay tuned for the next episode.<br />
<br />
==Episode 13==<br />
<br />
===Transcript Part 1===<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Videobooks<br />
| name = Episode 13: Smashed Hearts & Entrapment<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|waVjkVS3dLI}}{{#ev:youtube|ATTT3SkTLt8}}<br />
| stardate = 15 [[September 2008]]<br />
| Episode = [[Episode 13|13]]<br />
| other = [[CWC]], [[Cartoon CWC]], [[Sonichu]], [[Jamsta Sonichu]], [[Megagi]], [[Slaweel Ryam]], [[Count Graduon]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], [[The Chaotic Combo]], [[CADD Chef]], [[Walter Grisby]], [[Sailor Megtune]], [[Naitsirhc]], and [[Black Sonichu]]<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu_5_Official_Videobook#Episode 8|Episode 12]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu_6_Official_Videobook#Episode 12.5|Episode 12.5]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
Ok, before we move on, let's make one thing perfectly clear: my email address is ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. C-H-I-S C-H-I-N S-O-N-I-C-H-U. All other email addresses that may seem similar are fake, and therewith- there likely host by trolls. And mine is not hosted by trolls, I can tell you that. I have complete control over my aol address. So there for, you send it to this email address, you're definitely sending it to the right person. Me. Christian Weston Chandler. So there. Anyway, let's move on.<br />
<br />
====Episode 13.====<br />
<br />
We're settin' up the scenery of the City of CWCville, where true love blossoms between true-loving couples. Wreather at the park...<br />
<br />
:"Joseph~"<br />
<br />
:"Mary~"<br />
<br />
Mmm~! [''PSH!!'']<br />
<br />
:"By the order of our mistress! Love is forgiven! Forbidden!<br />
<br />
What was that?! Uh, moving on, at a local coffee shop...<br />
<br />
:"Julia... I... I held- I held this in for so long..."<br />
<br />
:"Yes, Nick?"<br />
<br />
:"Julia... I lo- I lo-"<br />
<br />
[''WPSH!''] <br />
<br />
:[''gasp!''] "Oh my God!"<br />
<br />
:"Ryam forbids love confessions!!"<br />
<br />
Uh! Jeeze! Well how about close to the... [''PSH''] Oh...<br />
<br />
:"Oh, I...!"<br />
<br />
:"Eeeaaaaa~"<br />
<br />
:"I gotta go call 911!"<br />
<br />
:"Hand-holding is forbidden in the name of Slaweel Ryam!!"<br />
<br />
Oh, how troubling! And where is our favorite hedgehog and mayor? They currently chillin' at the CWCville Shopping Center! The best mall ever, with all the cool stores, including the Pokemon Center, which used to be in New York City!<br />
<br />
[''sigh''] [''singing''] Dunuh-dunuh-dunuh, we're just sittin' in the middle. <br />
<br />
[''epic text walls commence'']<br />
<br />
:[''sigh''] "Well, Sonichu, I've been feeling lots better since I've first- since I've first met Meg-Chan. She's bo- she's the sweetest, and she's- she has the right spunk amo-among all ladies."<br />
<br />
:"Yeap. I unde- yep, just like me and Rosey. But yet she's been ha- she's yet to return the feelings, hadn't she, sir."<br />
<br />
:"Yeah, but I've been very patient with her. By being a kind and understanding friend for her, giving her time and space, and helping her feel ok, she's warming up to me. Not only that, but with each amount of time I spend with her personally, ehh- with each of her warm, tender smiles, and with the each of her loving thought about her, each loving thought about her, my heart grows fonder with the true love I feel for her. At least she knows that I have those feelings for her. I had the guts to tell her personally.<br />
<br />
:"Hmm. Well, Rosechu and the other hedgehogs and I wish you the best of luck, sir, with her."<br />
<br />
:"Thank you. Speaking of which, did you n- [''pant''] know that I haven't used [[attraction sign|that dumb sign]] since that fiasco at the [[Sonichu 4|Get-Tar Region]], yet all it took was turning to the "[[Yu-Gi-Oh|Heart of the Cards]]" to find the best woman of the rest. She's irreplaceable."<br />
<br />
:"And she's [[boyfriend-free girl|single]] too, right?"<br />
<br />
:"Ha. Well, that was a fortunate bonus. I easi- I easily mistook her brother at first, though."<br />
<br />
[''PFFT''] "Alright, over the loud speakers at the CWCville Shopping Center, we're rockin' with the best of light rock and anime hits, and everything here at station KCWC: CWCville's Number One Radio Station! Keepin' it real with [[Jamsta Sonichu]]! YOWZA! I've just been handed an urgent bulletin: apparently, a jerkop squad has been harassing loving couples around the city! The true men and women of blue and black can't keep up with these minons of this- of de dirtiest- of the dirtiest witch of [[PVCCitizens]], Slaweel Ryam. We could really use the help of my main dudes, Christian Chandler and Sonichu and the rest of the h-[[Chaotic Combo]] about now. More news after this groove-track from [[Monica Rial]]."<br />
<br />
:"Dang! I can't believe it! I thought her reign of heart-shattering terror was over! Well, I won't let her get away with it! It was a good thing I informed the citizens about the difference between jerkops and the true police people!"<br />
<br />
And me a while back, I have made a speech over a podium, tellin' everybody, "And so, I urge you, the citizens of CWCville, Dirgit- Virginia, to remember: with the police, only Black and Blue are True; all other coller- all other colors are VICE! They are fakess, and they are impostors. Thank you."<br />
<br />
So then Sonichu and I dash out of the CWCville mall; yeah he dashes on a head, a little bit ahead of me. But I pull out my Nintendo DS, and I call up my hoverboard. Mm- after I uh, look at the uh, overhead map. I'm like, "Whew! Look at all these things!" <br />
<br />
There's a whole bunch of these uh, between a number of the true police people and the villi- and the villains- the impostorous police. <br />
<br />
:"Wow! There's jerkops everywhere, and my CWCville police- police are eas- are vastly outnumbered. Let's go, Sonichu."<br />
<br />
So I call my Air Rider. Board. Beep!<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, in the city, the police are doing their best to hold back the citizens, while the police do their best to fight the jerkops and janekops. Along with their leader, Slaweel Ryam and Count Graduon.<br />
<br />
:YES! With my battalion of jerkops at the ready, and my monster in my shadow, I'm sure to lure that nuisance, Christian, into my trap! When he stands in thers rectangle below, I'll have him! In my clutches! Hehehehe!<br />
<br />
:UEH! With that Cherio- With that Cherokee out of the picture, I will be able to take over the city, then the world! Especially with the dark shadow within the [[Naitsirhc|adopted child]] in Viridian!<br />
<br />
DON'T WORRY CITIZENS! Sonichu and I and the re- e-e-e'rbody el- We're all coming to save the day! [''fanfare''] DUNDUH-DUNDUH!<br />
<br />
So we both- we both arrive there safely, and the policeman- and the police officer says, "Glad- so glad to see you here, your honor!"<br />
<br />
:"At ease, Constable. I've assessed the situation. Wow, so organized neatly. She's pulled out all the stops. Leave it to me and my hedgehog crew, Constable. Keep all the civilians out of the metroplex. That's an order."<br />
<br />
:"Yes, SIR!"<br />
<br />
And in the nearby an alley, there's uh, Megagi's just hiding in there. She's calling M- She calling Meg-Chan. She's goin', "Meg? It's me! There's trouble in CWCville! [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|Come quick]]!"<br />
<br />
Alright so, I got- I have to call my cavalry. <br />
<br />
:"CWC-Spell Magic: ELECTRIC CHAOTIC SUMMON!"<br />
<br />
Then upon then now all the other hedgehogs get the little beam of blue light beamed down on them, then the rez- then they realite's, they're gonna be teleported to action; they're being called. And then I have to call my sister as well.<br />
<br />
:"Heart-Torch Glow! Twin sister call!"<br />
<br />
And she re- and then she notices the uh, blue light around her; she uh- she's shopping at the time.<br />
<br />
Oh, my brother needs me! Aw, I was having fun sampling this wonderful perfume. Well, duty calls!<br />
<br />
[''Sonichu theme''] Go, Go Electric Hedgehogs! Doo-DOO-de-doo-de-doo~<br />
<br />
ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER! [''theme song''] <br />
<br />
[''WSHWSHWSH''] [''chimes''] Crystalina Rosechu!<br />
<br />
[''WSHWSHWSH''] [''fanfare''] Da-daa! Chris-Chan Sonichu!<br />
<br />
:"Warrior lu- of love and honesty- Warrior of TRUE love and honesty, Chris-Chan Sonichu."<br />
<br />
:"Warrior o' love and hearts, Crystalina Rosechu."<br />
<br />
:[''chorus''] AND THE SONICHUS AND ROSECHUS OF CWCVILLE, VIRGINIA! We are CHRIS-CHAN PURE and the CHAOTIC COMBO!<br />
<br />
Title of Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts and Entrapment."<br />
<br />
So then I call- so then I make my call to Slaweel the evil witch.<br />
<br />
:"Evil witch of dark descent! Return to the darkness from which you came!"<br />
<br />
:"Nah'only will I not retreat, but I will send out my Big Man to destroy you, Christian! Come out, [[CADD Chef|Kinero-Mene]]!!"<br />
<br />
And then comes out this big, tall guy; he's a really big, monsterous size. <br />
<br />
:"Hallo thar, Chicos! Your mall design is... I have Grade 'F' Destruction for you!"<br />
<br />
:[''scoff''] "Oh, it is on! Sonichu, take the Chaotic Combo; disperse and attack the jerkops. Crystalina, help me in taking down that CADD Chef impostor. Let's go! HYAAAA!"<br />
<br />
And yet the sonichu- and while the sonichus and rosechus an' e'erbody an'a- an dere all attackin', takin' down all the jerkops and janekops, Crystalina and I personally attack the CADD Chef. And yet as we approach the uh, giant CADD Chef, he jaunches some, uh... fistful of attacks against us, but we manage to dodge them. And then we- and then we both make our jumps onto him, and then we go- er- we crawl up his le- an'den- an'den, when we hit his leg, it's like 'clank clank.' It's like, uh, ok he's made a construction steel.<br />
<br />
:"Hmm. Crystalina, follow me!"<br />
<br />
Yeah, and so we're going up him. And then we're both sr- sr- going around his head in circles, and yet I- and yet, I notice- a'yet I was able to uh, make a hole in the top of his head with my- with my Spin Dash. And then I gave him a quick thunder in the head.<br />
<br />
And then Slaweel's like, "You cannot screw his head! You cannot unscrew his head, nor make him dizzy! Ha-haa! SPECIAL DARK SPEAR ATTACK!" [''PF-PF!'']<br />
<br />
===Transcript Part 2===<br />
<br />
Yeah, because our- yeah, our attacks were useless against him at the time. Anywa- anyway, uh her- anyway, Slaweel's did hit us both, and we got ru- knocked off the uh, giant monster. We ha- we uh, land on the ground. We yet we survived. And yet I look up but in a daze, I'm like, "Oh no! He's makin' a big jump, and he's about to land on both of us!"<br />
<br />
[''WHWHWHWHWHW-DEW-PSH''] Whoa! Something knocked him off course!<br />
<br />
:"WHAT?"<br />
<br />
[''Sailor Soldier theme'']<br />
<br />
And middle bad- and mid-battle, Sonichu pauses to take notice.<br />
<br />
:"Well, those jerkops gave lol- gave us all the run for the money. Oh, look who's joined the party!"<br />
<br />
[''Sailor Soldier theme'']<br />
<br />
:"Terrorizing the week-end and n-threatening to destroy a masterpiece of the heart? I will'st not stand for that!"<br />
<br />
:"And we won't let you get away with it, either."<br />
<br />
:"We are Sailor Soldiers!"<br />
<br />
:"And we stand for every heart light and justice!"<br />
<br />
:"I'm Sailor Megtune!"<br />
<br />
:"And I'm Legagi Na-Skunk!"<br />
<br />
:"And in the name of all hearts, we shall punish you!"<br />
<br />
So anyway, for the moment, Slaweel is puzzled, but yet, uh- and yet Count Graduon's just surprised. "Uh huh!," Count Graduon says.<br />
<br />
And then Slaweel says, "Eh, first we had the parodic transformations. Now we actual have a pretty girl Sailor Soldier? What a kooky world!"<br />
<br />
:"Chris-Chan, finish that monster!"<br />
<br />
:"YES!"<br />
<br />
:So that Megtune! Wow, my brut'er can sure pick a real winner of a [[gal-pal]]!<br />
<br />
:"BLUE THUNDER!"<br />
<br />
:"ORANGE THUNDER!"<br />
<br />
[''PFFW-PSH!'']<br />
<br />
:"Our unique souls..."<br />
<br />
:"...shall grind and crush your black hearts!"<br />
<br />
CHRIS-CHAN PURE PULSE JOLT LANCE!<br />
<br />
And our- he happens to be landing- his head is facing us, so w'we have to do is put our- a-aim our attack into the hole I made in his head. An' then that made him explode. Mm.<br />
<br />
And then, alright, that attacks over with, I still got some energy in me.<br />
<br />
:"Alright, Slaweel, it's your turn! CURSE-YE-HA-ME...!"<br />
<br />
:We don't think so! Dark Mirror Hole!<br />
<br />
Whoa! This thing can opens up under me and I'm slipping in? Whoa! When did the- when did the cement become water? Or quicksand, for that matter! Anyway, e'erbody else is surprised and Ma- and Megchan and Crystalina are rushin' to ss- rushin' to grab my hands. They successfully got my... hands.<br />
<br />
So now they're tryin' to- now they're tryin' to rescue me from the quicksand glass abyss.<br />
<br />
Well, this stinks. [''wrong order''] Then again, I'm thinkin', if I don't get out, they will be sad. Girls, let go. You may be sucked into this darkness. I don't want you both to suffer. [''whimper'']<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, in Viridian City: [''PFF''] Hmm.<br />
<br />
:[''wrong voice''] "This- [''right voice''] This stinks."<br />
<br />
My thought is being telepathically linked. To Naitsirhc, and Naitsirhc's like, "Huh? This plot doesn't stink!" He was plotting at the time. And he's like, "What's going on? Ooff. My head. My chest! What's going on? Eeeauh~ Where this thing come from?"<br />
<br />
When the original medal is so- is submerged in darkness, the dark medal will appear. And he s-whose name is reversed will transform into the- into an ultimate dark being of complete opposite origins.<br />
<br />
Anyway, Naitsirhc's transformation is happening over at the uh, Giovanni base; and Team Rocket base. Anyway, just after the incident, Black Sonichu, Blake, walks by, and he says- he thinks Naitsirhc is me. Then, "Huh? What're you doin' in Naitsirhc's room? Look, just because you're my so-called fath- so-my so-called creator and director, doesn't mean that you can barge in and..."<br />
<br />
:"Eeerrrrah."<br />
<br />
:"Wait. You're not Christian. What the heavy metal rock band is going on here? Naitsirhc?"<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, back in CWCville. Hmm. I'm- eem- the powers being con-trolled by- controlled by uh, Count Graduon, n'he's thinking, "How futile! Why else do you give a darn about him? Wait. I have it. I can make Christian really suffer by sealing his [[incest|two]] [[rape|girlfriends]] in the mirror, instead of him! Time to turn the tables, heh-heh-heh-heh-heh."<br />
<br />
An'then all of a sudden there's a click and a whir. And then Cri- and then while the two are in effor- grine'it- effort they're sayin', "Wa-hang in there Chris! We won't let you go!"<br />
<br />
And then Crystalina notices the click-whir 'n'shz like, "What the?! Is the ground flipping? Oh, I can't let my brother go, yet I don't want Meg to be trapped either. There's only one thing I can do. I'm sorry, Meg."<br />
<br />
So she wraps her tail around her... neck, an'den flung- and'den flungs- and den flings her away. Aside.<br />
<br />
:"Oof. Oof. Christian! Crystal! Noooooo~"<br />
<br />
And the mirror does flip, and yet I'm the one on the outside and, um Crystal is trapped on the inside.<br />
<br />
And in her last buh-breath before she's ssss-falls into the sunder in there, calls out my name, "Christoperrr."<br />
<br />
:"No! Crystal!"<br />
<br />
"Huh. Well, I got one anyway," says Slaweel.<br />
<br />
And then Meg is just feeling sa- 'n sad over this- had over this chain of events.<br />
<br />
:"Oh Christian! Your sister! What can I say that can atone for your loss. Such tender feelings. No. Due my past events I must ignore those feelings. Ah, but I can't help but feel sorry for him; he looks so pitiful! Besides, if I lost my brwother, he'd do what he could to mend [[China|m-my emotional wound]]."<br />
<br />
And now we're all gathered together, and yet now Slaweel has Crystal trapped in the mirror, 'n she's saying, "You may have take' down my squad, but I have yo' Sistah, Mistah! HAHAHAHAHA-HAHA!"<br />
<br />
To be continued in the next book! Stay tuned for the next book! Thank you! What a cliff-hanger!<br />
<br />
{{Videobooks}}<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-15]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Autism_Tutorial_Part_5&diff=171096
Autism Tutorial Part 5
2014-05-30T15:58:44Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>In '''Autism Tutorial Part 5''', [[Chris]] uses ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' to demonstrate the method for introducing new people to [[autistic]]s, as well as to re-enact an assault on [[Clyde Cash]].<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
<Center>{{#ev:youtube|2b9n1ms-pno}}</Center><br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
[[Image:Cashed2.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]<br />
<br />
''(The first segment of the video consists of a text-only conversation between sack-Chris and several imaginary sack-girls.)''<br />
<br />
<font color="#AA0000">Mic:</font> Nonette, this is [[Christian Chandler]], but you may call him Chris. Chris, this here is Nonette Sehen.<br />
<br />
<font color="#3333CC">Sack-Chris:</font> Hey Nonette, you are a pretty woman, and I am happy to meet you.<br />
<br />
''(The two Sack-people touch each other, presumably symbolizing a handshake)'' <br />
<br />
<font color="#339966">Nonette:</font> ''(clearly needs glasses)'' Well, I think you have a very good face, and I am delighted to meet you too.<br />
<br />
''(Chris's melodic voice takes over narration for the remainder of the video)''<br />
<br />
Now understand, ''this'' is what I'm talking about for us autistic people. We are too shy by default! But on earning our trust, or if we feel comfortable or like the other person on our indid-ividual instincts, we will open up. And to start us right, we need either: A) The other person to approach and talk to us, upon their own will, or B) have our own trusted friend or family introduce us to other people of our respective ages.<br />
<br />
In this scenario, it was a great match for me, for A) she is a [[Boyfriend-free girl|single woman, without a boyfriend]]: B) she is pretty, and easy on my eyes. And C) this woman I could feel comfortable with, and feel a good and honest aura from her. From this a good friendship, and hopefully a [[sex|f-]] a [[china|long relationship]] will stay between us for the long time. (Voice deepens with hatred) Do not bring me down here, naysayers and [[Trolls|haters]].<br />
<br />
''(Cut to a wall of 6 sackgirl posters.)''<br />
<br />
Lets look at a few other scenarios of similar to opposite results. Obviously, most women: ''[Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."]'' Easy on my eyes, good-humored, sweet, pretty... [[Niggo|black]], white, [[Punchy|Asian]], Christian, [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]], Buddhism, I have no, c- I have no care about skin color or religion, whatever. I will be kind to all of them, respectful and welcoming them, to have them in my circle of friends. Lesbians, too... Just don't get on my bad side here. ''[Subtitle: "To clarify, the 'Don't get on my bad side' part refers to All Women in general'"]''<br />
<br />
''(Cut to a wall of 6 sackboy posters.)''<br />
<br />
[[JERKS|Men]], my own... ''kind'', on the other hand, I would feel most hesitant towards. Because I have had fewer male friends in my life, and I have had mostly bad experiences around them. ''Plus'', and this is very important, in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over ''men''. ''[Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."]'' And considering my life experiences and my own opinion, I totally agree with that. If the, uh, individual, however, offers a, uh, friendly gesture, and does not make me [[Chris and anger|angry]] or make me feel most uncomfortable, or ill at ease, I will be willing to give him a chance and welcome him as a friend, and nothing more. ''[Subtitle: "**PLATONICALLY Friendly**"]''<br />
<br />
''(Cut to another wall, with 3 posters of sackpeople in [https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Awesome Awesome Face] masks.)''<br />
<br />
However, going back to the mean people of the internet... Upon meeting one of them in real life - and I will be able to recognize them sure enough, at least with basic instincts - I will not hold back my endured rage. Just ask this crying [[Clyde]]. ''(A scene of a livid Sack-Chris smacking Sack-Clyde follows before the narration continues.)''<br />
<br />
Physically and [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally challenged]] individuals will vary more. Good results upon if they are easy to look at, if they are able to speak clearly, even ''slooowly'', that I can easily understand them. ''[Subtitle: "I mean NO Personal Offense whatsoever to Any Individual Person or Group of People."]'' And now, uh, the other part, the other side, whoa, back off! I'm spooked if you are [[Chris and Fashion#The "Gay Trucker" outfit|ugly]], [[Duck|seriously disfigured]], especially in the face, that you [[Chris and English|mumble more than you speak]], you're [[Speech impediment|hard to understand]] at all. It is nothing personal, and I apologize for anyone who feels at unease after hearing what I just said, but [[Chris and Hypocrisy|it's just the way I feel.]] That's all.<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]|}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Autism_Tutorial_Part_2&diff=171095
Autism Tutorial Part 2
2014-05-30T15:36:21Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>In '''Autism Tutorial Part 2''', [[Chris]] continues his non-interactive extravaganza in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', and advocates that [[autistic]] children receive the same loving care that he did growing up. He then goes off on a tangent about the [[CWCville]] universe, before launching into a rant about the [[Trolls|dangers]] of the [[Internet]]. He ends by calling his autistic viewers to arms to abandon the internet as a social mechanism. He also mentions how trolls are crazy or were molested as children just showing how he doesn't think trolls are normal people which is also the reason why his [[JenkinsJinkies]] disguise didn't work.<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
<Center> {{#ev:youtube|Fn0Ef0PvLZU}}</Center><br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
Going back to what you could do for your autistic child, you could do a number of things, but of course, the most important thing is to [[Rocky Shoemaker|positively emotionally encourage]] them. And tra-and give them [[Chris and sex#Rape|hugs]], anyways, [[Megan Schroeder|even if they don't want it]]. They will feel the love eventually, cause I know I have, [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] never stopped hugging me.<br />
<br />
Another thing you can do with them is floor time. You get on the floor and you play with them. You should build [[Lego]] sets. I had my own city made out of Legos. It was a very big city too. It was pretty much an early version of my city of [[CWCville]] that I housed my electric hedgehog [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in, in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] I had [[Chris and art|drawn]]. I put all the bricks and pieces in the [[Chris_and_English#Semantics|boxes under here, but they were over there]], on the other side of my [[Chris's room|room]]. One big city, ''[Subtitle: "The city of Cwcville, VA still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."]'' it was massive, it was great.<br />
<br />
Egana-and of course there's also [[Chris and health#Mental_health|therapy, psychiatry]], and special autism places. ''[Subtitle: "Fit in within normal places and have friends who are normal to better influence the autistic person"]'' I highly encourage, ''[Subtitle: "In my opinion, with one autistic person having another autistic or mentally challenged friend."]'' mainstreaming 'em. Letting be norm-letting 'em try to fit in with the normal places, ''[Subtitle: "I feel it is Not beneficial to either, because with mental influences,"]'' like [[Inos|high]]-like [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Providence Middle School|middle school]]. I fit in [[Lies|perfectly]] after I, ''[Subtitle: "being able to move forward socially will be less likely."]'' I settled in. But never EVER send them to a ''[Subtitle: "Normal friends for Autistic People are Better."]'' mental institution. It's [[Nudes|just wrong]], it's a dark, evil place. ''[Subtitle: "We autistic people have been mistaken as psychopaths in the past , but that is Rarely the case. We are Not Crazy People."]'' I was almost forced into there once but my parents would not have it! [''Chris's Sackboy visibly reveals [[fangs]]'']<br />
<br />
Anyway, on a more modern interest note, according to the, uh, [[Wikipedia]] article, the [[internet]] helps autistic individuals bypass nonverbal cues and emotional sharing they find hard to deal with. They also [[White_Knight#Chris_will_reject_your_advice|apparently point online communities and work with locally]].<br />
<br />
Listen, on extended personal experience with internet [[Attraction Sign|socializing]], I can tell you the truth of the internet. There are a lot of [[Chris|sick minded, twisted, evil,]] ''[Subtitle: "These people of the internet who make the world's societies corrupted, look for innocent people to talk ill of..."]'' [[Chris|dark, sloppy, gross, weird]] ''[Subtitle: "greatly."]'' individuals out there, and you can never tell ''[Subtitle: "and they also trick or steal personal and private information, footage and gossip, mostly solely for Laughs at [[ego|our individual]]..."]'' who they are from anybody else, cause they hide behind their [[Snorlax|mother's]] skirts of the anonymity that is also ''[Subtitle: "expenses."]'' know as the internet. ''[Subtitle: ""LULZ", they call it; "[[Laughs Under Lucricities]]"."]'' They go online talking to random people, ''[Subtitle: "They go by many sub-labels; naturally, they are Anonymous, hiding behind their "Mother's Skirts" like scared..."]'' deceiving, tricking, blackmailing! Just so they can drag our clear, ''[Subtitle: "children."]'' just so they can drag our once clean names ''[Subtitle: "They each have their own sad, disgusting origins from being molested as children to just being crazy in the head for real."]'' through the worst mud, blood and [[Navy|bodily fluids]], makes me sick. UGHH!<br />
<br />
They are ungrateful ''[Subtitle: "These people seriously need Mental Health Treatments and Therapies of their own."]'' immature. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|They need to grow up]]. The-they-they, even ''[Subtitle: "I became tired of the enduring, emotionally damaging stress from these corrupted people."]'' range from the [[BlueSpike|young]], the teenage, [[Jack Thaddeus|even]] [[Clyde Cash|some]] [[Liquid Chris|adults]]! I swear! ''[Subtitle: "and after all that, I took down my own website personally, including the majority of videos I had on YouTube"]'' I had my own [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] for my Sonichu comics, but then they hacked in there and then, took 'em away! I grabbed it back, but after a while I got [[Stress|tired]] ''[Subtitle: "These people also use YouTube against us as well"]'' and decided, took the websites down myself. ''[Subtitle: "On Internet Safety, Keep ALL Private and Personal Information and Footage of yourself to yourself alone."]''<br />
<br />
[[Sigh]]<br />
<br />
And I also had my own [[Myspace]] and [[Facebook]], gone! ''[Subtitle: "If you can not consciously, morally, seriously tell a very close relative about it or share it with them."]'' They can hack your computers, your [[PS3|game consoles]], laptops, cell phones, and maybe even your iPods! ''[Subtitle: "It need to stay Offline. Period. This is a terribly Serious Matter: There is Nothing tolaugh about."]'' They just do not let up. I have been a victim of their ways [''the Sackboy visibly trembles'']. I nev, I have never socialize online again. And I screen my phone calls, I hardly ever answer my phone call anymore. And I am emotionally damaged by them. Just this, ter-pitiful. Horrifying!<br />
<br />
Online gaming, on the other hand, is different. The other players, they just come and go while I accomplish my video game goals. No friendships are made. And information searches and shopping online is fine. It is the social websites ''[Subtitle: "Not only is Facebook a joke, it is the complete opposite of true Socializing."]'' like Facebooks and Myspace that are travesties. ''[Subtitle: "Staying behind the ******** monitor like that only makes one more Autistic-Like."]'' The only way to socialize is in real life. ''[Subtitle: "Down with Facebook!!!"]'' [Volume raises] Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and [[Women's rights|woman up]] ''[Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"]'' respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now! <br />
<br />
Socializing tips and also little more history on myself, to be revealed in the follow-into the following parts, in the remainder of this tutorial, so stay tuned. Thank you<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[Autism Tutorial|Autism Tutorial Videos]]|prevlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 1]]|nextlink=[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]|}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:LittleBigPlanet]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=May_2014_Facebook_Posts&diff=171090
May 2014 Facebook Posts
2014-05-30T04:11:18Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>==Summary==<br />
==Posts by Chris==<br />
===Violin===<br />
{{quotebox|28.05.2014<br />
Will someone, seriously, Please buy the violin I am selling NOW! [[Barb|My mother]] and I really need the money.<br />
<br />
http://www.ebay.com/itm/191190232476 }}<br />
<br />
[[William Elliott Waterman]] replied:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|Just a protip: broadcasting to your potential customers that you're desperate for money and begging is not a good idea.}}<br />
<br />
Robert Kett replied:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|Why not have the bow restrung before you post it on [[ebay]]?}}<br />
Chris replied:<br />
{{quotebox|[[Barbara Chandler|My mother]] and I are most unable to afford the restringing of the bow. That is why I am offering the restringing to the Buy it Now customer.}}<br />
===Chris NEEDS MOAR FUCKING LEGOS===<br />
{{quotebox|29.05.2014<br />
I wish to thank the person who went onto Amazon and sent me a Treehouse and Halloween Accessory set. If you look closely, here are the [[Chris and death|tombstone]], [[Rob Bell|lawyer zombie]] and green [[Mary Lee Walsh|witch]] that I originally had, but melted in that fire. Thank you very much for your generous contribution.<br />
<br />
I will add comments under some of the sets in my wish list for Still Need to Replace and really want. Spoiler Alert: [[Chris and his Ego|I really want]] the Sea Cow, and still really need to replace the Palace Theater, Grand Emporium and a full [[Pickle|Pineapple]] House (composed of TWO Spongebob Bikini Bottom Party sets (two halves of the same pineapple)).<br />
<br />
[[File:Legos_-_may_2014_-_01.jpg|180px]] [[File:Legos_-_may_2014_-_02.jpg|180px]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
[[William Elliott Waterman]] knows the truth:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|Chris, this is greedy. You're trying to sell your father's violin (which we don't know if he wanted the family to keep it) because you "desperately need the money," and at the same time you are begging for replacements of your lego sets that melted on public posts. Do you not see what's wrong with this? People will think you're just selling one of your late father's possessions to buy legos.}}<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|If you delete my comment, I saved a backup.}}<br />
<br />
Unsurprisingly, this comment was ignored.<br />
<br />
Chloe Dixiek Brooke replied:<br />
{{quoteboxred|No don't listen to William, you sell what you want to sell Chris. Hell, sell everything in your house, and after you do that, sell the house! Build a new one out of legos!}}<br />
<br />
Mer Macie Pantalones replied:<br />
{{quoteboxred|I have to agree with William on this one. Sorry. Chris, you beg for your friends to buy your expensive gifts and to buy your stuff off of you, but for what? I get that you had a fire recently and money's probably tight... but really? Posting two statuses today about selling your stuff, friends buying you stuff, and then begging for more... it's extremely selfish and off-putting. For all anyone knows, you aren't grateful for what you have and just want to get more. I mean, you're asking for duplicates of some expensive legos. If you just got one, would you be happy about it or would you complain that it didn't have it's 'other half'?}}<br />
<br />
===I Really Want [[China|That]]===<br />
{{quotebox|29.05.2014<br />
I have just reorganized my Wish List Album with photos rearranged to order of Still Need to Replace over Really Want, followed by the remainder (with the exception of the Sea Cow; I Really Want That).<br />
}}<br />
<br />
Mer Macie [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|Pantalones]] replied:<br />
{{quoteboxred|The Sea Cow in question is like $300 Chris. In fact, MOST of these are $150+. I'm sorry, but Chris... there's no reason to ever assume, much less asked, that your friends (or people you don't even know well) spend that much money on you for ANY reason....}}</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_Powerpoint&diff=171083
Sonichu Powerpoint
2014-05-29T17:48:18Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Sonichu Powerpoint''' is a two-part video series of Chris delivering his PowerPoint presentation on [[Sonichu]], ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]''. The fact that he was trying to court major companies with a presentation that was almost a year old did not apparently occur to Chris, nor did the fact that filming a computer screen with a shaky, hand-held camera would look pretty unprofessional. These videos are intended to complement the [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]] videos.<br />
<br />
==Part 1==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 1<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3gzIGHfsYgs}}<br />
| stardate = 24 [[November 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| other = {{Audio|text}}<br />
| previous = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu Powerpoint#Part 2|Sonichu Powerpoint Part 2]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|[[Lies|As for his name, rumored to be a comparison to— combination of Sonic and Pikachu. That was not the case! I originally played the name from Sonic's Japanese name "Sonniku"!]]}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
Presenting the PowerPoint presentation of the ''Sonichu Chronicles''! This is the, uh, background logo for—that was originally on the [[CWC's Pokésite 2|CWC's second Pokésite]], which then spun off to Soni—Sonichu Site. Wr—Drawn by me, Christian Weston Chandler, 19 February 2004, updated more recently within this year. All Sonichu and Rosechu materials copyrighted by me... [''Smug singsong voice''] with my proof on the CWCipedia!<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes to an image of Sonichu and Rosechu making out. Rosechu's panties are visible''] Zoooop! Yay! [''Weird nasal voice''] L'il romance.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes to cover of Sonichu 9''] Mm, yes, the good cover of ''[[Sonichu 9|Number 9]]''!<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes again, this time to "Sonichu's beginnings. The original CD case is shown.''] Sonichu's beginnings: What started an idea for a [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover in a computer graphics project]] eventually grow and grow and grow into his own dividual—individual character—stories and more friends and enemies among the way! [[Chris and music#A Capella|Dun dun duuun]]! On the faithful day of 17 March 2000, I wanted to feature on my favorite hits CD lifelong hero Sonic the Hedgehog and cute, newer character Pikachu, but copyrighted characters were prohibited from the project, so, in my mind, I pondered and pondered and hit me visually: Sonic and Pikachu combined! As for his name, well—''rumored'' to be a comparison to—combination of Sonic and Pikachu. That was not the case! I originally played the name from Sonic's Japanese name "Sonniku"! The very first thing I drew before the CD cover was a private, never-played [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|homemade Pokémon trading card]] on that very same day. I made a bunch of homemade trading cards, [[Card_games#Custom_cards|only for my own personal fun and art]]. [''Card slides into view''] Dah-da daaaa! That's it, the very first one ever drawn.<br />
<br />
[''Chris fiddles with the camera for a few moments, zooming in and out of the card. Eventually, it is replaced with an image of Sonichu and Rosechu standing in front of an American flag.''] Da da daaaa! And over the years, since 2000 to today, he grew better with my own hand-drawing styles.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes, the image on this slide is page 1 of Sonichu Zero.''] Granted, it is a... [[parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog, the larger story of Sonichu and Rosechu started from the attack of the Chaos from ''Sonic Adventure''—Sega Dreamcast/Nintendo GameCube—but the concept of this outside evolution I've thought up, I've decided to go for it as the origin story. Dun da daaa!<br />
<br />
[''Chris goes though several pages of the comic, complete with a Capella freestyle.''] Sonichu and Rosechu... [''more a Crapella''] You can read these in details on the [[CWCipedia]], which is the current CWC Sonichu and Rosechu site, officially! That is provided with the link—that is provided next to this video on YouTube. Da da da da daaa! Helps Super Sonic save the day that day. As would—and when you think about it, it is an untold chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not major plot change.<br />
<br />
Enter Rosechu, Sonichu's sweetheart. In the form of the first hand-drawn page of the ''Number Zero'' comic book, on 24 November 2004, I continued to create more Electric Hedgehog Pokémon ''for'' the world of Sonichu. Less than a year after Sonichu, I drew up Rosechu. Yet another parody in comparison to Amy Rose, Rosechu evolved from a female Rosechu that... fateful day.<br />
<br />
''Major'' differences between Amy and Rosey: Amy does not have spikes on the back, the clothes are different... her headband is white, not red like Amy's, and Rosechu has a modern-girl-kind of attitude, and, lucky for her, Sonichu reall—Sonichu ''rarely'' runs away from her charms. [''Peter Griffin laugh''] And, of course, she has her electric-type attacks to boot. And don't forget the tail; that's another difference. Rosechu is a gal who will not take any abuse from a [[Chris|foe]], laying down. She is a warrior heart steady up for [[women's rights]]! Daa da-daaa! My very first Rosechu card....<br />
<br />
The genesis of the lovehogs: again you can read these... for yourselves on the CWCipedia, but, right now, we'll skim to pictures.<br />
<br />
And there's the first kiss between Sonichu and Rosechu. Yay!<br />
<br />
[[Julay|Oooh]], and this one in m—in where she got really angry.<br />
<br />
[''Empties his blowhole, and then, in an attempt to be Matthew Bellamy, warbles out a sing-song 'Mmmmm' ''] Dunn dunn-dunn dun dun! These are from—these images from from book [[Sonichu 8|number eight]]. Evolutions for the original Sonichu and Rosechu: for the idea I had of a possible Pokémon game title, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'', featuring Sonichu, I have the idea for the story beginning in my head. I have created babies for all the Sonichus and Rosechus, and evolutions for the original Sonichu and Rosechu only. This here is a [[Sonee]]... and this here is a [[Rosey]]. Sonee... plus maximum friendship equals Sonichu. And, uhh, Rosey plus maximum friendship equals Rosechu. Sonichu plus metal coat and trade equals Metonic. Rosechu plus maximum friendship and level-up at midnight hour: Vamprosa. Metonic is met—is metal and electric; Vamprosa is dark and electric... with levitatability.<br />
<br />
This here is Black Sonichu, uhh, as known as—later to be known as Blake. He is easily explainable as the clone of Sonichu from his DNA with an accidental dose of cherry cola to change the pigment from yellow and brown to black and red.<br />
<br />
And this is the cover of the ''[[Sonichu 1|Number One]]'' book, introducing [[Blake]]. And there's facts between the two! Under the Pokéball of [[Naitsirhc]], adopted son of Giovanni (the Team Rocket leader), Blake followed the commands of his creators (quote/unquote) until Naitsirhc would later transform into Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the complete opposite of me, Christian Weston Chandler... and this is all complete opposites. <br />
<br />
[''More sing-song dumbassary'']<br />
<br />
Aaand eventually Blake would fall in love with Bubbles, and... yep, first kiss came in book number eight.<br />
<br />
The [[Chaotic Combo]]: after a blind scientist's creation, I created five more Electric Hedgehogs edgehogs that came from the Chaos Emeralds' power, from Sonichu's fateful origin. First, we have [[Wild Sonichu]]. ...Hmm. Then we have [[Bubbles]]! Wild is grass, umm—grass/electric. Bubbles is water and electric. Oh, yeah, Wild has the ability [[Chris and English|to Chlorophyll]]. Bubbles has Volt Absorb.<br />
<br />
[[Angelica Rosechu]]: flying/electric-type, Serene Grace ability. [[Punchy Sonichu]]: fighting/electric-type, Limber. [[Magi-chan|Magi-chan Sonichu]]: psychic and electric with Synchronize.<br />
<br />
And with every thought that randomly popped up in my imagination, I was very likely to create a new character—er, or, given—or even given one, from amongst my [[True and Loyal Fanbase|growing—to currently massive fanbase]]. Well, of course, [[Bionic]] ''is'' my own. That was origninally created during my high school days, when I was varsity basketball manager.<br />
<br />
In any case, it all happened in and around the city of [[CWCville]], Virginia: a grand community of men, women, and children living in peace day by day, and hard at work, a plus for the city that is smokefree and [[Long Island Iced Tea|non-alcoholic]]. Alright, one of end of the city is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]], featuring many favorite stores, as well as my Mayoral Office above the front main entrance, followed by the residential area (of houses and a few playgrounds), then the metropolis [''squeak, squeak''] where the major businesses go work in the tall skyscrapers. It is also has a beach leading to the ocean, by the big forest and mountain regions from a dormant volcano or two.<br />
<br />
This is me, [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]]. [[Chris and his ego|Like in most artists, I let myself get into my work]] storywise, where, in real life, I have been [[Love Quest|in search for a woman]] to become my true [[sweetheart from ground-up]], starting as friendship. I am also the mayor of CWCville. I deal with may—my mayoral duties over WiFi with my Nintendo DS. I came up with the name of CWCville long ago, starting with the city that I built (and grew bigger, over the years) of Lego bricks pieces and people. I also later came up with the radio station [[KCWC]]. Then, I recorded some real shows for fun on some audio cassette tape—<br />
<br />
==Part 2==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 2<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jzm6NabzsY4}}<br />
| stardate = 24 [[November 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| other = {{Audio|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu Powerpoint#Part 1|Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 1]]<br />
| next = [[3 December 2009]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[''Image changes to a shopped pic of Chris standing next to [[Patti-chan]].''] Mmm, there's a good one of me and my—my dog Patti... even though that's just a redrawn version of her. [''Poorly drawn image of Chris appears.''] Dun Dun dunnnnn! Yep. [''Cover of ''[[Issue 0]]'' appears.''] Yeah, from me from real life to animation—hand-drawn cartoon... [''Drawings of interior of mayor's office appear.''] and hand-drawn capabilities growing better over time. [''Slide changes. Variety of Pokésite logos appear.''] In real life I also create a number of website starting with my Pokésite. I had taken two HTML classes, so I know the raw data on notepad, as well as Netscape Composer, HP—HTML processor. After creating Sonichu, I featured him on the Pokésite, but later decided to make the Sonichu site as a spin-off from the Pokésite. I vent—then eventually Sonichu and Rosechu grew a fanbase grew and grew, and with the true good [[trolls|fans]] came the [''voice drops in pitch''] jealous dark [[trolls]]: Internet bullies. I was hacked a number of times before, and unfortunately the Sonichu site was temporarily down, but, as soon as I got some more [[monthly tugboat|money]], I opened up a new account, with different web-hosting sites but that—that later got hacked. With new E-mail addresses I kept secret from most anyone, the family was informed. I don't know how but the trolls managed to get in there—into those things in the past, somehow. But, currently, it is the—but, currently, it is the original and official Sonichu and Rosechu site, also known as the CWCipedia.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes. We see poorly-drawn Chris again, and get a glimpse of the title "Chris Chan Sonichu.''] Story-wise, I describe my [[Anchuent Prophecy]], that I would take pen in hand, create a Electric Hedgehog that take the Sonichu Medallion... [''Camera spins around to focus on the [[Medallion of Fail]] hanging from Chris's neck.''] from my neck, right here! [''Camera returns to screen''] To enclose the... to enclose the darkest evil that would come out from there. This would be the transformation from me to [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. [''Image changes to Chris and Sonichu in the cave with the old man. Chris makes some background music.''] Pen in haaand... [''Picture of the medallion appears on screen.''] Real life, I have crafted the original Sonichu medallion from Crayola Model Magic, clay, acrylic paints, key rings, superglue and a necklace. [[Chris and reality|It does not grant me any powers in real life, but it does in the comics]]. [''Another scene from the comic appears, in which Chris is considering blowing someone away. Chris blows loudly.''] Like I am able to access the attacks of some of my—about—of my Electric Hedgehogs I created. I can preform any single attack at will. It may lead there most doubt I transform into [''Image of Chris transforming into Sonichu appears, More stupid background music. After a few moments another new image appears, this one featuring Chris Chan Sonichu in a variety of poses.''] Chris-chan Sonichu! Soldier of love and [[Honest content|honesty]]! [''Image changes to a comic of Chris-chan Sonichu fighting a [[Jerkop]]. Chris provides sound effects.''] In this form, I can execute my own personal selection of attacks as a Normal/Electric—Electric-type Hedgehog Pokémon, with keen-eye ability including Mach Punch, Thunderboat and Hyper Beam. As well as—as... human as Sonichu form, I am the only being who can execute the special attack, that inflicts bad luck, extreme misfortune, with some damage to the foe, used to be called "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]", now it's called "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha"! [''Cover of issue ten slides into focus''] Chris-chan Sonichu... that is me! And I—again, this is from—this art is to be the cover of [[Sonichu 10|book number ten]], from my Australian gal-pal fan... who was—nickname was [[PandaHalo]]. [[Chris and death|She is dead now]]... [[lie|and I miss her]]. She was a great friend. Anyway... it is, yeah, fandagreat—fantastic rendition, she was my [[Sweetheart|partner]] at the time until her death.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes, now displaying the hand drawn Nintendo power cover.''] And, now, the gaming proposition! Let me prep this the subject with a spot of history between me and Nintendo! Dun da daaa! I had a dream! Around June 1997, I had a dream of Sonic the Hedgehog on the original Game Boy. I had written a letter to Nintendo of America suggesting to work with Sega on a Game Boy ''Sonic'' title. Basically, they said I had rocks in my head, but now look in 2001, ''Sonic Advance'' on Game Boy Advance! [[Chris and his Ego|I pretty much foretold that outcome!]] [''Image changes to ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' Nintendo power cover.''] Dun dun duun. [''Image changes to the ''Animal Crossing'' feature that Chris's video appeared in.''] And this would be the article from "The Crossing Quarterly". In volume 179 (May 2004) of ''Nintendo Power''... I had been long-time subscriber. In November of before, I had videotaped a voiced-over documentary of my Sonichu and CWCville in ''[[Animal Crossing]]''—on Nintendo GameCube! I got full credit for that documentary, which is noted in lower-box right there: "Special thanks to Christian from Virginia for his Sonichu documentary."<br />
<br />
[''Camera zooms way in, displaying a blurry mess. Chris does more background music, then changes his voice to pretend that he's in Star Trek''] Zoom in on the article!<br />
<br />
Soon after I was feat—soon after I was featured in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]'s newsletter, ''The Forum'', for being featured in Nintendo for my Sonichu and CWCville.<br />
<br />
[''Frontpage of The Forum is displayed, telling us that a student named Crowsey has won Prestigious Awards. The members of the CWCki wish to congratulate Crowsey for his efforts in his chosen field, and hope the years since this headline have brought him further success. Sadly, Crowsey and his daring accomplishments are soon covered by the "Meet Sonichu" article'']<br />
<br />
"Meet Sonichu, soon featured in ''Nintendo Power'' magazine!" Also, I had later submitted a letter with high regards to a DS game, ''[[Sprung]]'', in reference to mo—momentary progress at that time. That letter appeared in this issue... with the screenshot. "Christian C., from Virginia, via the Internet." [''Note that "From Virginia" was ''not'' printed in the magazine, but scrawled in pen by Chris.'']<br />
<br />
Now we can talk about—bit more about my current ideas for Sonichu...'s start in the video game world. Until we get ten feet off the ground on the whole thing, you may use this cover for the following ''NP—Nintendo Power'' issue that would follow... [''"The King Chris-chan Royal Anthem" is reiterated once more''] for ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu's Adventure]]'' on Nintendo GameCube, or Nintendo Wii, maybe.<br />
<br />
My game title ideas: before, or during, the drawing of the ''Number Zero'' book, and afterwards, I came up with a few stereotype ideas for video games around Sonichu and Rosechu. Firstly, ''Sonichu's Adventure''—on Nintendo GameCube! A Christian Chandler production. First, yeah—as featured on the first eight previously-uploaded comic books, come up with that game (subject to upgrade for Wii) and maybe go multi-console—never on Xbox; hex on [[HEXBox]]! [''Thinking that he can address someone as superior to him as Miyamoto with "Mayamoto-san"''] Mayamoto-san, ugn... yeah... had a copy of my introductory ideas. Turns out that I was talking to a [[Miyamoto saga|impostor]] at that time, when I updated this.<br />
<br />
Anyway, then, to follow, Game Boy Advance version of ''Sonichu's Adventure'', and, only on GBA: ''Pokémon: Lightning Version''. And then, much later, [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. Would definitely go multi-console—never on HEXBox. This one'll basically be me going through my [[Stress|ordeals]] with Sonichu, Rosechu, and the rest of the Electric Hedgehogs fagging along, like in ''[[Wikipedia:Shadow the Hedgehog (video game)|Shadow of the Hedgehog]]''. I would be able to transfrom into Chris-chan Sonichu in this game. Multi-console between PS3, PS2, Nintendo Wii! Off to a zappingly-extreme, great start, uhhhhh... as rumored, it was, uhh, at the time that I updated this, uhh... Takashi Tazuka—Nintendo can correct me on this, if I am mistaken, or... verify—took—he took it upon himself, with the most-appreciated inquiry of my approval, as the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of [[CWCville]], to create a Sonichu/Rosechu video—villager for ''Animal Crossing: City Folk''... who ''now'' will be likely to zipping across ''Sonichu Crossing'', and—mind the traffic. [''Laughs as though he [[Random-access humor|made a joke]]''] As a fan of ''Animal Crossing'' since the GameCube title—could have released, uhh—could have released as a US version of Nintendo 64 title, as well as the ''Animal Crossing'' movie—I often like to quote Blathers, after going on with the expression, but I digress, so thank y'all for teaching me that expression.<br />
<br />
Sonichu and Rosechu and CWCville: Nintendo can be—can and will be profiting big from my well-grown fanch-base, as well as Sega and Sony. I personally give good word of mouth to Nintendo systems and games included in references in my comic book series. Sonichu and Rosechu on ''Animal Crossing: City Folk'' b—would be a great raise of s—sales of Wii consoles, ''Animal Crossing: City Folk'' game discs, and the Wii Speak. Also, with me starring in the games, as the voices of both myself and the original Sonichu, and my s—my past... well... my [[sweetheart]]...-to-be as the voice of Rosechu, that there will be three less voice actors to hire. [''Ignoring that profits include creating revenue, not just cutting a portion of expenses...''] This is a great start in profits from the Electric Hedgehog that started [[Chris and his ego|humbly]] from the mind of a [[Obesity|well-rounded]], [[Chris and religion|church-going]], [[Autism|high-functioning autistic]], [[Autism#Autism cured.3F|recovered individual]]. Nintendo will see good profits in the timeframe... of the game's release. Sonichu, go!<br />
<br />
Thank you very much for you time, and I look forward to working y'all—with each of y'all in person very soon on the Sonichu Project. Peace!<br />
<br />
My contact info... [''Displays the contact information slide of the PowerPoint, which includes his name spelled incorrectly as "Christain", as well as listing his Wii number—you know, because a big company executive is totally going to message him on his Wii—which is 8626-5211-8387-4771'']<br />
<br />
Thank you much, and have a safe day. Peace out!<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]|nextlink=[[3 December 2009]]|}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2009| 2009-11-24]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_Powerpoint&diff=171082
Sonichu Powerpoint
2014-05-29T17:40:54Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Sonichu Powerpoint''' is a two-part video series of Chris delivering his PowerPoint presentation on [[Sonichu]], ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]''. The fact that he was trying to court major companies with a presentation that was almost a year old did not apparently occur to Chris, nor did the fact that filming a computer screen with a shaky, hand-held camera would look pretty unprofessional. These videos are intended to complement the [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]] videos.<br />
<br />
==Part 1==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 1<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3gzIGHfsYgs}}<br />
| stardate = 24 [[November 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| other = {{Audio|text}}<br />
| previous = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu Powerpoint#Part 2|Sonichu Powerpoint Part 2]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|[[Lies|As for his name, rumored to be a comparison to— combination of Sonic and Pikachu. That was not the case! I originally played the name from Sonic's Japanese name "Sonniku"!]]}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
Presenting the PowerPoint presentation of the ''Sonichu Chronicles''! This is the, uh, background logo for—that was originally on the [[CWC's Pokésite 2|CWC's second Pokésite]], which then spun off to Soni—Sonichu Site. Wr—Drawn by me, Christian Weston Chandler, 19 February 2004, updated more recently within this year. All Sonichu and Rosechu materials copyrighted by me... [''Smug singsong voice''] with my proof on the CWCipedia!<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes to an image of Sonichu and Rosechu making out. Rosechu's panties are visible''] Zoooop! Yay! [''Weird nasal voice''] L'il romance.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes to cover of Sonichu 9''] Mm, yes, the good cover of ''[[Sonichu 9|Number 9]]''!<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes again, this time to "Sonichu's beginnings. The original CD case is shown.''] Sonichu's beginnings: What started an idea for a [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover in a computer graphics project]] eventually grow and grow and grow into his own dividual—individual character—stories and more friends and enemies among the way! [[Chris and music#A Capella|Dun dun duuun]]! On the faithful day of 17 March 2000, I wanted to feature on my favorite hits CD lifelong hero Sonic the Hedgehog and cute, newer character Pikachu, but copyrighted characters were prohibited from the project, so, in my mind, I pondered and pondered and hit me visually: Sonic and Pikachu combined! As for his name, well—''rumored'' to be a comparison to—combination of Sonic and Pikachu. That was not the case! I originally played the name from Sonic's Japanese name "Sonniku"! The very first thing I drew before the CD cover was a private, never-played [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|homemade Pokémon trading card]] on that very same day. I made a bunch of homemade trading cards, [[Card_games#Custom_cards|only for my own personal fun and art]]. [''Card slides into view''] Dah-da daaaa! That's it, the very first one ever drawn.<br />
<br />
[''Chris fiddles with the camera for a few moments, zooming in and out of the card. Eventually, it is replaced with an image of Sonichu and Rosechu standing in front of an American flag.''] Da da daaaa! And over the years, since 2000 to today, he grew better with my own hand-drawing styles.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes, the image on this slide is page 1 of Sonichu Zero.''] Granted, it is a... [[parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog, the larger story of Sonichu and Rosechu started from the attack of the Chaos from ''Sonic Adventure''—Sega Dreamcast/Nintendo GameCube—but the concept of this outside evolution I've thought up, I've decided to go for it as the origin story. Dun da daaa!<br />
<br />
[''Chris goes though several pages of the comic, complete with a Capella freestyle.''] Sonichu and Rosechu... [''more a Crapella''] You can read these in details on the [[CWCipedia]], which is the current CWC Sonichu and Rosechu site, officially! That is provided with the link—that is provided next to this video on YouTube. Da da da da daaa! Helps Super Sonic save the day that day. As would—and when you think about it, it is an untold chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not major plot change.<br />
<br />
Enter Rosechu, Sonichu's sweetheart. In the form of the first hand-drawn page of the ''Number Zero'' comic book, on 24 November 2004, I continued to create more Electric Hedgehog Pokémon ''for'' the world of Sonichu. Less than a year after Sonichu, I drew up Rosechu. Yet another parody in comparison to Amy Rose, Rosechu evolved from a female Rosechu that... fateful day.<br />
<br />
''Major'' differences between Amy and Rosey: Amy does not have spikes on the back, the clothes are different... her headband is white, not red like Amy's, and Rosechu has a modern-girl-kind of attitude, and, lucky for her, Sonichu reall—Sonichu ''rarely'' runs away from her charms. [''Peter Griffin laugh''] And, of course, she has her electric-type attacks to boot. And don't forget the tail; that's another difference. Rosechu is a gal who will not take any abuse from a [[Chris|foe]], laying down. She is a warrior heart steady up for [[women's rights]]! Daa da-daaa! My very first Rosechu card....<br />
<br />
The genesis of the lovehogs: again you can read these... for yourselves on the CWCipedia, but, right now, we'll skim to pictures.<br />
<br />
And there's the first kiss between Sonichu and Rosechu. Yay!<br />
<br />
[[Julay|Oooh]], and this one in m—in where she got really angry.<br />
<br />
[''Empties his blowhole, and then, in an attempt to be Matthew Bellamy, warbles out a sing-song 'Mmmmm' ''] Dunn dunn-dunn dun dun! These are from—these images from from book [[Sonichu 8|number eight]]. Evolutions for the original Sonichu and Rosechu: for the idea I had of a possible Pokémon game title, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'', featuring Sonichu, I have the idea for the story beginning in my head. I have created babies for all the Sonichus and Rosechus, and evolutions for the original Sonichu and Rosechu only. This here is a [[Sonee]]... and this here is a [[Rosey]]. Sonee... plus maximum friendship equals Sonichu. And, uhh, Rosey plus maximum friendship equals Rosechu. Sonichu plus metal coat and trade equals Metonic. Rosechu plus maximum friendship and level-up at midnight hour: Vamprosa. Metonic is met—is metal and electric; Vamprosa is dark and electric... with levitatability.<br />
<br />
This here is Black Sonichu, uhh, as known as—later to be known as Blake. He is easily explainable as the clone of Sonichu from his DNA with an accidental dose of cherry cola to change the pigment from yellow and brown to black and red.<br />
<br />
And this is the cover of the ''[[Sonichu 1|Number One]]'' book, introducing [[Blake]]. And there's facts between the two! Under the Pokéball of [[Naitsirhc]], adopted son of Giovanni (the Team Rocket leader), Blake followed the commands of his creators (quote/unquote) until Naitsirhc would later transform into Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the complete opposite of me, Christian Weston Chandler... and this is all complete opposites. <br />
<br />
[''More sing-song dumbassary'']<br />
<br />
Aaand eventually Blake would fall in love with Bubbles, and... yep, first kiss came in book number eight.<br />
<br />
The [[Chaotic Combo]]: after a blind scientist's creation, I created five more Electric Hedgehogs edgehogs that came from the Chaos Emeralds' power, from Sonichu's fateful origin. First, we have [[Wild Sonichu]]. ...Hmm. Then we have [[Bubbles]]! Wild is grass, umm—grass/electric. Bubbles is water and electric. Oh, yeah, Wild has the ability [[Chris and English|to Chlorophyll]]. Bubbles has Volt Absorb.<br />
<br />
[[Angelica Rosechu]]: flying/electric-type, Serene Grace ability. [[Punchy Sonichu]]: fighting/electric-type, Limber. [[Magi-chan|Magi-chan Sonichu]]: psychic and electric with Synchronize.<br />
<br />
And with every thought that randomly popped up in my imagination, I was very likely to create a new character—er, or, given—or even given one, from amongst my [[True and Loyal Fanbase|growing—to currently massive fanbase]]. Well, of course, [[Bionic]] ''is'' my own. That was origninally created during my high school days, when I was varsity basketball manager.<br />
<br />
In any case, it all happened in and around the city of [[CWCville]], Virginia: a grand community of men, women, and children living in peace day by day, and hard at work, a plus for the city that is smokefree and [[Long Island Iced Tea|non-alcoholic]]. Alright, one of end of the city is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]], featuring many favorite stores, as well as my Mayoral Office above the front main entrance, followed by the residential area (of houses and a few playgrounds), then the metropolis [''squeak, squeak''] where the major businesses go work in the tall skyscrapers. It is also has a beach leading to the ocean, by the big forest and mountain regions from a dormant volcano or two.<br />
<br />
This is me, [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]]. [[Chris and his ego|Like in most artists, I let myself get into my work]] storywise, where, in real life, I have been [[Love Quest|in search for a woman]] to become my true [[sweetheart from ground-up]], starting as friendship. I am also the mayor of CWCville. I deal with may—my mayoral duties over WiFi with my Nintendo DS. I came up with the name of CWCville long ago, starting with the city that I built (and grew bigger, over the years) of Lego bricks pieces and people. I also later came up with the radio station [[KCWC]]. Then, I recorded some real shows for fun on some audio cassette tape—<br />
<br />
==Part 2==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 2<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jzm6NabzsY4}}<br />
| stardate = 24 [[November 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| other = {{Audio|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu Powerpoint#Part 1|Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 1]]<br />
| next = [[3 December 2009]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[''Image changes to a shopped pic of Chris standing next to [[Patti-chan]].''] Mmm, there's a good one of me and my—my dog Patti... even though that's just a redrawn version of her. [''Poorly drawn image of Chris appears.''] Dun Dun dunnnnn! Yep. [''Cover of ''[[Issue 0]]'' appears.''] Yeah, from me from real life to animation—hand-drawn cartoon... [''Drawings of interior of mayor's office appear.''] and hand-drawn capabilities growing better over time. [''Slide changes. Variety of Pokésite logos appear.''] In real life I also create a number of website starting with my Pokésite. I had taken two HTML classes, so I know the raw data on notepad, as well as Netscape Composer, HP—HTML processor. After creating Sonichu, I featured him on the Pokésite, but later decided to make the Sonichu site as a spin-off from the Pokésite. I vent—then eventually Sonichu and Rosechu grew a fanbase grew and grew, and with the true good [[trolls|fans]] came the [''voice drops in pitch''] jealous dark [[trolls]]: Internet bullies. I was hacked a number of times before, and unfortunately the Sonichu site was temporarily down, but, as soon as I got some more [[monthly tugboat|money]], I opened up a new account, with different web-hosting sites but that—that later got hacked. With new E-mail addresses I kept secret from most anyone, the family was informed. I don't know how but the trolls managed to get in there—into those things in the past, somehow. But, currently, it is the—but, currently, it is the original and official Sonichu and Rosechu site, also known as the CWCipedia.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes. We see poorly-drawn Chris again, and get a glimpse of the title "Chris Chan Sonichu.''] Story-wise, I describe my [[Anchuent Prophecy]], that I would take pen in hand, create a Electric Hedgehog that take the Sonichu Medallion... [''Camera spins around to focus on the [[Medallion of Fail]] hanging from Chris's neck.''] from my neck, right here! [''Camera returns to screen''] To enclose the... to enclose the darkest evil that would come out from there. This would be the transformation from me to [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. [''Image changes to Chris and Sonichu in the cave with the old man. Chris makes some background music.''] Pen in haaand... [''Picture of the medallion appears on screen.''] Real life, I have crafted the original Sonichu medallion from Crayola Model Magic, clay, acrylic paints, key rings, superglue and a necklace. [[Chris and reality|It does not grant me any powers in real life, but it does in the comics]]. [''Another scene from the comic appears, in which Chris is considering blowing someone away. Chris blows loudly.''] Like I am able to access the attacks of some of my—about—of my Electric Hedgehogs I created. I can preform any single attack at will. It may lead there most doubt I transform into [''Image of Chris transforming into Sonichu appears, More stupid background music. After a few moments another new image appears, this one featuring Chris Chan Sonichu in a variety of poses.''] Chris-chan Sonichu! Soldier of love and [[Honest content|honesty]]! [''Image changes to a comic of Chris-chan Sonichu fighting a [[Jerkop]]. Chris provides sound effects.''] In this form, I can execute my own personal selection of attacks as a Normal/Electric—Electric-type Hedgehog Pokémon, with keen-eye ability including Mach Punch, Thunderboat and Hyper Beam. As well as—as... human as Sonichu form, I am the only being who can execute the special attack, that inflicts bad luck, extreme misfortune, with some damage to the foe, used to be called "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]", now it's called "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha"! [''Cover of issue ten slides into focus''] Chris-chan Sonichu... that is me! And I—again, this is from—this art is to be the cover of [[Sonichu 10|book number ten]], from my Australian gal-pal fan... who was—nickname was [[PandaHalo]]. [[Chris and death|She is dead now]]... [[lie|and I miss her]]. She was a great friend. Anyway... it is, yeah, fandagreat—fantastic rendition, she was my [[Sweetheart|partner]] at the time until her death.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes, now displaying the hand drawn Nintendo power cover.''] And, now, the gaming proposition! Let me prep this the subject with a spot of history between me and Nintendo! Dun da daaa! I had a dream! Around June 1997, I had a dream of Sonic the Hedgehog on the original Game Boy. I had written a letter to Nintendo of America suggesting to work with Sega on a Game Boy ''Sonic'' title. Basically, they said I had rocks in my head, but now look in 2001, ''Sonic Advance'' on Game Boy Advance! [[Chris and his Ego|I pretty much foretold that outcome!]] [''Image changes to ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' Nintendo power cover.''] Dun dun duun. [''Image changes to the ''Animal Crossing'' feature that Chris's video appeared in.''] And this would be the article from "The Crossing Quarterly". In volume 179 (May 2004) of ''Nintendo Power''... I had been long-time subscriber. In November of before, I had videotaped a voiced-over documentary of my Sonichu and CWCville in ''[[Animal Crossing]]''—on Nintendo GameCube! I got full credit for that documentary, which is noted in lower-box right there: "Special thanks to Christian from Virginia for his Sonichu documentary."<br />
<br />
[''Camera zooms way in, displaying a blurry mess. Chris does more background music, then changes his voice to pretend that he's in Star Trek''] Zoom in on the article!<br />
<br />
Soon after I was feat—soon after I was featured in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]'s newsletter, ''The Forum'', for being featured in Nintendo for my Sonichu and CWCville.<br />
<br />
[''Frontpage of The Forum is displayed, telling us that a student named Crowsey has won Prestigious Awards. The members of the CWCki wish to congratulate Crowsey for his efforts in his chosen field, and hope the years since this headline have brought him further success. Sadly, Crowsey and his daring accomplishments are soon covered by the "Meet Sonichu" article'']<br />
<br />
"Meet Sonichu, soon featured in ''Nintendo Power'' magazine!" Also, I had later submitted a letter with high regards to a DS game, ''[[Sprung]]'', in reference to mo—momentary progress at that time. That letter appeared in this issue... with the screenshot. "Christian C., from Virginia, via the Internet." [''Note that "From Virginia" was ''not'' printed in the magazine, but scrawled in pen by Chris.'']<br />
<br />
Now we can talk about—bit more about my current ideas for Sonichu...'s start in the video game world. Until we get ten feet off the ground on the whole thing, you may use this cover for the following ''NP—Nintendo Power'' issue that would follow... [''"The King Chris-chan Royal Anthem" is reiterated once more''] for ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu's Adventure]]'' on Nintendo GameCube, or Nintendo Wii, maybe.<br />
<br />
My game title ideas: before, or during, the drawing of the ''Number Zero'' book, and afterwards, I came up with a few stereotype ideas for video games around Sonichu and Rosechu. Firstly, ''Sonichu's Adventure''—on Nintendo GameCube! A Christian Chandler production. First, yeah—as featured on the first eight previously-uploaded comic books, come up with that game (subject to upgrade for Wii) and maybe go multi-console—never on Xbox; hex on [[HEXBox]]! [''Thinking that he can address someone as superior to him as Miyamoto with "Mayamoto-san"''] Mayamoto-san, ugn... yeah... had a copy of my introductory ideas. Turns out that I was talking to a [[Miyamoto saga|impostor]] at that time, when I updated this.<br />
<br />
Anyway, then, to follow, Game Boy Advance version of ''Sonichu's Adventure'', and, only on GBA: ''Pokémon: Lightning Version''. And then, much later, [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. Would definitely go multi-console—never on HEXBox. This one'll basically be me going through my [[Stress|ordeals]] with Sonichu, Rosechu, and the rest of the Electric Hedgehogs fagging along, like in ''[[Wikipedia:Shadow the Hedgehog (video game)|Shadow of the Hedgehog]]''. I would be able to transfrom into Chris-chan Sonichu in this game. Multi-console between PS3, PS2, Nintendo Wii! Off to a zappingly-extreme, great start, uhhhhh... as rumored, it was, uhh, at the time that I updated this, uhh... Takashi Tazuka—Nintendo can correct me on this, if I am mistaken, or... verify—took—he took it upon himself, with the most-appreciated inquiry of my approval, as the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of [[CWCville]], to create a Sonichu/Rosechu video—villager for ''Animal Crossing: City Folk''... who ''now'' will be likely to zipping across ''Sonichu Crossing'', and—mind the traffic. [''Laughs as though he [[Random-access humor|made a joke]]''] As a fan of ''Animal Crossing'' since the GameCube title—could have released, uhh—could have released as a US version of Nintendo 64 title, as well as the ''Animal Crossing'' movie—I often like to quote Blathers, after going on with the expression, but I digress, so thank y'all for teaching me that expression.<br />
<br />
Sonichu and Rosechu and CWCville: Nintendo can be—can and will be profiting big from my well-grown fanch-base, as well as Sega and Sony. I personally give good word of mouth to Nintendo systems and games included in references in my comic book series. Sonichu and Rosechu on ''Animal Crossing: City Folk'' b—would be a great raise of s—sales of Wii consoles, ''Animal Crossing: City Folk'' game discs, and the Wii Speak. Also, with me starring in the games, as the voices of both myself and the original Sonichu, and my s—my past... well... my [[sweetheart]]...-to-be as the voice of Rosechu, that there will be three less voice actors to hire. [''Ignoring that profits include creating revenue, not just cutting a portion of expenses...''] This is a great start in profits from the Electric Hedgehog that started [[Chris and his ego|humbly]] from the mind of a [[Obesity|well-rounded]], [[Chris and religion|church-going]], [[Autism|high-functioning autistic]], recovered individual. Nintendo will see good profits in the timeframe... of the game's release. Sonichu, go!<br />
<br />
Thank you very much for you time, and I look forward to working y'all—with each of y'all in person very soon on the Sonichu Project. Peace!<br />
<br />
My contact info... [''Displays the contact information slide of the PowerPoint, which includes his name spelled incorrectly as "Christain", as well as listing his Wii number—you know, because a big company executive is totally going to message him on his Wii—which is 8626-5211-8387-4771'']<br />
<br />
Thank you much, and have a safe day. Peace out!<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]|nextlink=[[3 December 2009]]|}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2009| 2009-11-24]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCville_Shopping_Center&diff=171081
CWCville Shopping Center
2014-05-29T17:30:55Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:157-CityOfCwcville.jpg|thumb|Early appearance on a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.]]<br />
[[File:Mall.PNG|thumb|Aerial view]]<br />
'''CWCville Shopping Center''', sometimes called the '''CWCville Mall''', located at the center of downtown [[CWCville]], is the location of Chris's [[CWCville Mayoral Office|Mayoral Office]] and a temple to consumerism in CWCville. Also, Chris's version of his beloved [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where he is not banned but rather is welcomed and works there.<br />
<br />
Chris designed the mall as a [[CADD]] project in [[PVCC|college]], and since [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|no good school project goes unrecycled and unpublished]], is now using the design in the comics. The plans were in [[Scrapbook of Fail]],<ref>[[Blanca_E-mails#Chris_does_not_waste_any_time_in_hinting_at_a_relationship|Blanca E-mails]], 20 [[August 2008]] 5:27 AM</ref> and Chris's original AutoCAD files were leaked.<br />
<br />
Chris has said that the city of CWCville owns the mall,<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref> while most real-life malls (even ones that are close to dead) are owned by real estate companies such as Simon Property Group, owner of [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. Furthermore, Chris has included several stores that either don't exist in real life, or used to exist but no longer do; the store placement, selection and other fine details are all over the place. Among other things, the mall features a disproportionately large number of restaurants and even a Big Lots, an off-price retailer that almost never locates in malls.<br />
<br />
Locating a mall in a downtown isn't entirely unfeasible; there is, however, no excuse for putting the fucking ''[[CWCville Mayoral Office|Mayor's office]]'' in the mall, except as a reference to the [[Adult Swim]] show [[Wikipedia:Tom Goes To The Mayor|''Tom Goes To The Mayor'']], which Chris may have watched. <br />
[[Image:CWCMallSpaz.jpg|thumb|The Mall, as accurately depicted by Spazkid28 in ''Sonichu The Animated Series''.]]<br />
[[File:0869-Cwcville18.JPG|thumb|Lego version of the Shopping center.]]<br />
==Mall Stores==<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Abercrombie & Fitch|Abercrombie & Fitch]]<br />
* Arcade World (Video Games) [Yes, he's written 'Video Games' beside it, as if arcades didn't have them usually.]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:American Eagle Outfitters|American Eagle Outfitters]]<br />
* [http://www.annajoys.com/ Anna Joy's] (local bridal shop)<br />
* April's Sports (local sporting goods)<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Aéropostale (clothing)|Aeropastale [sic]]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Bath & Body Works|Bath & Body Works]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Big Lots|Big Lots]]<br />
* [http://www.brmsstore.com/ Blue Ridge Sports]<br />
* [[Chris's resume|Books-a-Million]]<br />
* [[Burger King]]<br />
* [http://www.cache.com/cache/control/main Cache] [sic]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Carlton Cards|Carlton Cards]] [One on each floor for some reason.]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Cellular One|Cellular One]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Champs_(brand)|Champ's [sic]]] Sports<br />
* [[Chick-fil-A]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Christopher & Banks|Christopher & Banks]]<br />
* [[Chris and ego|Christopher's Pizza]]<br />
* [http://www.cinnamonster.com Cinnamonster]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Circuit City Stores|Circuit City]] Express<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Claire's|Claire's Boutique]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Coffee Beanery|Coffee Beanery]]<br />
* [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic, Game & Hobby Place]]<br />
* [[Country Cookin]]<br />
* [[Li'l Chris|Create-A-Critter]]<br />
* [[Cutco]] Outlet<br />
* [[Wikipedia:CVS/pharmacy|CVS]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Dairy Queen|Dairy Queen]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Disney Store|Disney Store]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Dollar Tree|Dollar Tree]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Finish Line, Inc.|Finish Line]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Foot Locker|Footaction USA]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Trans_World_Entertainment#f.y.e.|F.Y.E.]]<br />
* [[GameStop]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Gap (clothing retailer)|Gap]]<br />
* GCN [? - second floor, he may have meant [[Wikipedia:GNC (store)|GNC]].]<br />
* [http://www.glamourshots.com Glamour Shots]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:NexCen Brands|Great American Cookie]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Hat World|Hat World]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Hallmark Cards|Hallmark]]<br />
* [[Megan Schroeder|Hot Topic]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:J. C. Penney|JCPenny [sic]]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Genesco|Journeys]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Sterling_Jewelers#Kay_Jewelers|Kay Jewlers]] [sic]<br />
* [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|KB Toys]]<br />
* [http://www.kohrbros.com/ Kohr Bros. Frozen Yougurt] [sic]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Foot Locker|Lady Foot Locker]]<br />
* [[Lego]] Outlet<br />
* [[Wikipedia:LensCrafters|LensCrafters]] [Listed twice beside each other.]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Limited Brands|Limited]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Limited Brands|Limited Too]]<br />
* [http://www.mastercuts.com/ MasterCuts]<br />
* [[McDonald's]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Destination Maternity|Motherhood Maternity]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Mrs. Fields|Mrs. Field's [sic] Cookies]]<br />
* [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|Pacific Sunwear]]<br />
* Paint & Play (exists, but no website for Virginia chain)<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Payless ShoeSource|Payless Shoe Source]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Pearle Vision|Pearl [sic] Vision Express]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Radio Shack|Radio Shack]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Red Robin|Red Robin]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Ritz Camera|Ritz Camera]]<br />
* [http://www.rockstarbodyjewelry.com/ Rock Star Body Jewelry]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Sam Goody|Sam Goody]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Sbarro|Saberro]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Sears|Sears]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Spencer Gifts|Spencer Gifts]]<br />
* [[Hanna|Starbucks]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Stride Rite Corporation|Stride Rite]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Suncoast Motion Picture Company|Suncoast]]<br />
* [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|Taco Bell]]<br />
* T&C Nails (a real nail salon in Charlottesville Fashion Square)<br />
* [http://www.shopbriarpatch.com/ The Briar Patch]<br />
* [http://www.thehappycook.com/ The Happy Cook]<br />
* The [[Pokémon]] Center [Unsurprisingly, this is given two floors and roughly fourteen times the retail space of most of the other stores]<br />
* [[The GAMe PLACe|The Toy Place]] <br />
* [http://www.thingsremembered.com/ Things Remembered]<br />
* Tokyo Shogun (Virginia-based Japanese mall cuisine; no website)<br />
* [http://www.tradesecret.com/ Trade Secret]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Verizon|Verizon]]<br />
* [http://www.victoriasgallery.com/ Victoria's Art Gallery]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Victoria's Secret|victoria's [sic] Secret]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Waldenbooks|Waldenbooks]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Warner Bros. Studio Store|Warner Bros. Store]]<br />
* [[Wendy's]]<br />
* [http://www.western-sizzlin.com/sitemap.html Western Sizzlin']<br />
* [[Wikipedia:YesAsia|YesAsia.com]] Outlet Store<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Zale Corporation|Zales Jewelry]]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Zany Brainy|Zany-Brainy]]<br />
<br />
==Non-Store Facilities==<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Bank of America|Bank of America]] ATM<br />
* [[Wikipedia:BB&T|BB&T]] ATM<br />
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]<br />
* [[Jerkop|Mall Security]]/Customer Service<br />
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Restrooms]] [Multiple]<br />
* [[Wikipedia:Wachovia|Wachovia]] ATM<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] - The IRL version of the CWCville mall.<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloorOne.pdf Plans, Floor 1]<br />
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloor2.pdf Plans, Floor 2]<br />
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office]<br />
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk Original project files]<br />
<br />
{{CWCverse}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Fictional places]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_Powerpoint&diff=171080
Sonichu Powerpoint
2014-05-29T15:45:02Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Sonichu Powerpoint''' is a two-part video series of Chris delivering his PowerPoint presentation on [[Sonichu]], ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]''. The fact that he was trying to court major companies with a presentation that was almost a year old did not apparently occur to Chris, nor did the fact that filming a computer screen with a shaky, hand-held camera would look pretty unprofessional. These videos are intended to complement the [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]] videos.<br />
<br />
==Part 1==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 1<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3gzIGHfsYgs}}<br />
| stardate = 24 [[November 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| other = {{Audio|text}}<br />
| previous = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu Powerpoint#Part 2|Sonichu Powerpoint Part 2]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|[[Lies|As for his name, rumored to be a comparison to— combination of Sonic and Pikachu. That was not the case! I originally played the name from Sonic's Japanese name "Sonniku"!]]}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
Presenting the PowerPoint presentation of the ''Sonichu Chronicles''! This is the, uh, background logo for—that was originally on the [[CWC's Pokésite 2|CWC's second Pokésite]], which then spun off to Soni—Sonichu Site. Wr—Drawn by me, Christian Weston Chandler, 19 February 2004, updated more recently within this year. All Sonichu and Rosechu materials copyrighted by me... [''Smug singsong voice''] with my proof on the CWCipedia!<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes to an image of Sonichu and Rosechu making out. Rosechu's panties are visible''] Zoooop! Yay! [''Weird nasal voice''] L'il romance.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes to cover of Sonichu 9''] Mm, yes, the good cover of ''[[Sonichu 9|Number 9]]''!<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes again, this time to "Sonichu's beginnings. The original CD case is shown.''] Sonichu's beginnings: What started an idea for a [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover in a computer graphics project]] eventually grow and grow and grow into his own dividual—individual character—stories and more friends and enemies among the way! [[Chris and music#A Capella|Dun dun duuun]]! On the faithful day of 17 March 2000, I wanted to feature on my favorite hits CD lifelong hero Sonic the Hedgehog and cute, newer character Pikachu, but copyrighted characters were prohibited from the project, so, in my mind, I pondered and pondered and hit me visually: Sonic and Pikachu combined! As for his name, well—''rumored'' to be a comparison to—combination of Sonic and Pikachu. That was not the case! I originally played the name from Sonic's Japanese name "Sonniku"! The very first thing I drew before the CD cover was a private, never-played [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|homemade Pokémon trading card]] on that very same day. I made a bunch of homemade trading cards, [[Card_games#Custom_cards|only for my own personal fun and art]]. [''Card slides into view''] Dah-da daaaa! That's it, the very first one ever drawn.<br />
<br />
[''Chris fiddles with the camera for a few moments, zooming in and out of the card. Eventually, it is replaced with an image of Sonichu and Rosechu standing in front of an American flag.''] Da da daaaa! And over the years, since 2000 to today, he grew better with my own hand-drawing styles.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes, the image on this slide is page 1 of Sonichu Zero.''] Granted, it is a... [[parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog, the larger story of Sonichu and Rosechu started from the attack of the Chaos from ''Sonic Adventure''—Sega Dreamcast/Nintendo GameCube—but the concept of this outside evolution I've thought up, I've decided to go for it as the origin story. Dun da daaa!<br />
<br />
[''Chris goes though several pages of the comic, complete with a Capella freestyle.''] Sonichu and Rosechu... [''more a Crapella''] You can read these in details on the [[CWCipedia]], which is the current CWC Sonichu and Rosechu site, officially! That is provided with the link—that is provided next to this video on YouTube. Da da da da daaa! Helps Super Sonic save the day that day. As would—and when you think about it, it is an untold chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not major plot change.<br />
<br />
Enter Rosechu, Sonichu's sweetheart. In the form of the first hand-drawn page of the ''Number Zero'' comic book, on 24 November 2004, I continued to create more Electric Hedgehog Pokémon ''for'' the world of Sonichu. Less than a year after Sonichu, I drew up Rosechu. Yet another parody in comparison to Amy Rose, Rosechu evolved from a female Rosechu that... fateful day.<br />
<br />
''Major'' differences between Amy and Rosey: Amy does not have spikes on the back, the clothes are different... her headband is white, not red like Amy's, and Rosechu has a modern-girl-kind of attitude, and, lucky for her, Sonichu reall—Sonichu ''rarely'' runs away from her charms. [''Peter Griffin laugh''] And, of course, she has her electric-type attacks to boot. And don't forget the tail; that's another difference. Rosechu is a gal who will not take any abuse from a [[Chris|foe]], laying down. She is a warrior heart steady up for [[women's rights]]! Daa da-daaa! My very first Rosechu card....<br />
<br />
The genesis of the lovehogs: again you can read these... for yourselves on the CWCipedia, but, right now, we'll skim to pictures.<br />
<br />
And there's the first kiss between Sonichu and Rosechu. Yay!<br />
<br />
[[Julay|Oooh]], and this one in m—in where she got really angry.<br />
<br />
[''Empties his blowhole, and then, in an attempt to be Matthew Bellamy, warbles out a sing-song 'Mmmmm' ''] Dunn dunn-dunn dun dun! These are from—these images from from book [[Sonichu 8|number eight]]. Evolutions for the original Sonichu and Rosechu: for the idea I had of a possible Pokémon game title, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'', featuring Sonichu, I have the idea for the story beginning in my head. I have created babies for all the Sonichus and Rosechus, and evolutions for the original Sonichu and Rosechu only. This here is a [[Sonee]]... and this here is a [[Rosey]]. Sonee... plus maximum friendship equals Sonichu. And, uhh, Rosey plus maximum friendship equals Rosechu. Sonichu plus metal coat and trade equals Metonic. Rosechu plus maximum friendship and level-up at midnight hour: Vamprosa. Metonic is met—is metal and electric; Vamprosa is dark and electric... with levitatability.<br />
<br />
This here is Black Sonichu, uhh, as known as—later to be known as Blake. He is easily explainable as the clone of Sonichu from his DNA with an accidental dose of cherry cola to change the pigment from yellow and brown to black and red.<br />
<br />
And this is the cover of the ''[[Sonichu 1|Number One]]'' book, introducing [[Blake]]. And there's facts between the two! Under the Pokéball of [[Naitsirhc]], adopted son of Giovanni (the Team Rocket leader), Blake followed the commands of his creators (quote/unquote) until Naitsirhc would later transform into Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the complete opposite of me, Christian Weston Chandler... and this is all complete opposites. <br />
<br />
[''More sing-song dumbassary'']<br />
<br />
Aaand eventually Blake would fall in love with Bubbles, and... yep, first kiss came in book number eight.<br />
<br />
The [[Chaotic Combo]]: after a blind scientist's creation, I created five more Electric Hedgehogs edgehogs that came from the Chaos Emeralds' power, from Sonichu's fateful origin. First, we have [[Wild Sonichu]]. ...Hmm. Then we have [[Bubbles]]! Wild is grass, umm—grass/electric. Bubbles is water and electric. Oh, yeah, Wild has the ability [[Chris and English|to Chlorophyll]]. Bubbles has Volt Absorb.<br />
<br />
[[Angelica Rosechu]]: flying/electric-type, Serene Grace ability. [[Punchy Sonichu]]: fighting/electric-type, Limber. [[Magi-chan|Magi-chan Sonichu]]: psychic and electric with Synchronize.<br />
<br />
And with every thought that randomly popped up in my imagination, I was very likely to create a new character—er, or, given—or even given one, from amongst my [[True and Loyal Fanbase|growing—to currently massive fanbase]]. Well, of course, [[Bionic]] ''is'' my own. That was origninally created during my high school days, when I was varsity basketball manager.<br />
<br />
In any case, it all happened in and around the city of [[CWCville]], Virginia: a grand community of men, women, and children living in peace day by day, and hard at work, a plus for the city that is smokefree and [[Long Island Iced Tea|non-alcoholic]]. Alright, one of end of the city is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]], featuring many favorite stores, as well as my Mayoral Office above the front main entrance, followed by the residential area (of houses and a few playgrounds), then the metropolis [''squeak, squeak''] where the major businesses go work in the tall skyscrapers. It is also has a beach leading to the ocean, by the big forest and mountain regions from a dormant volcano or two.<br />
<br />
This is me, [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]]. [[Chris and his ego|Like in most artists, I let myself get into my work]] storywise, where, in real life, I have been [[Love Quest|in search for a woman]] to become my true [[sweetheart from ground-up]], starting as friendship. I am also the mayor of CWCville. I deal with may—my mayoral duties over WiFi with my Nintendo DS. I came up with the name of CWCville long ago, starting with the city that I built (and grew bigger, over the years) of Lego bricks pieces and people. I also later came up with the radio station [[KCWC]]. Then, I recorded some real shows for fun on some audio cassette tape—<br />
<br />
==Part 2==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 2<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jzm6NabzsY4}}<br />
| stardate = 24 [[November 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| other = {{Audio|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu Powerpoint#Part 1|Sonichu Powerpoint, Part 1]]<br />
| next = [[3 December 2009]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[''Image changes to a shopped pic of Chris standing next to [[Patti-chan]].''] Mmm, there's a good one of me and my—my dog Patti... even though that's just a redrawn version of her. [''Poorly drawn image of Chris appears.''] Dun Dun dunnnnn! Yep. [''Cover of ''[[Issue 0]]'' appears.''] Yeah, from me from real life to animation—hand-drawn cartoon... [''Drawings of interior of mayor's office appear.''] and hand-drawn capabilities growing better over time. [''Slide changes. Variety of Pokésite logos appear.''] In real life I also create a number of website starting with my Pokésite. I had taken two HTML classes, so I know the raw data on notepad, as well as Netscape Composer, HP—HTML processor. After creating Sonichu, I featured him on the Pokésite, but later decided to make the Sonichu site as a spin-off from the Pokésite. I vent—then eventually Sonichu and Rosechu grew a fanbase grew and grew, and with the true good [[trolls|fans]] came the [''voice drops in pitch''] jealous dark [[trolls]]: Internet bullies. I was hacked a number of times before, and unfortunately the Sonichu site was temporarily down, but, as soon as I got some more [[monthly tugboat|money]], I opened up a new account, with different web-hosting sites but that—that later got hacked. With new E-mail addresses I kept secret from most anyone, the family was informed. I don't know how but the trolls managed to get in there—into those things in the past, somehow. But, currently, it is the—but, currently, it is the original and official Sonichu and Rosechu site, also known as the CWCipedia.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes. We see poorly-drawn Chris again, and get a glimpse of the title "Chris Chan Sonichu.''] Story-wise, I describe my [[Anchuent Prophecy]], that I would take pen in hand, create a Electric Hedgehog that take the Sonichu Medallion... [''Camera spins around to focus on the [[Medallion of Fail]] hanging from Chris's neck.''] from my neck, right here! [''Camera returns to screen''] To enclose the... to enclose the darkest evil that would come out from there. This would be the transformation from me to [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. [''Image changes to Chris and Sonichu in the cave with the old man. Chris makes some background music.''] Pen in haaand... [''Picture of the medallion appears on screen.''] Real life, I have crafted the original Sonichu medallion from Crayola Model Magic, clay, acrylic paints, key rings, superglue and a necklace. [[Chris and reality|It does not grant me any powers in real life, but it does in the comics]]. [''Another scene from the comic appears, in which Chris is considering blowing someone away. Chris blows loudly.''] Like I am able to access the attacks of some of my—about—of my Electric Hedgehogs I created. I can preform any single attack at will. It may lead there most doubt I transform into [''Image of Chris transforming into Sonichu appears, More stupid background music. After a few moments another new image appears, this one featuring Chris Chan Sonichu in a variety of poses.''] Chris-chan Sonichu! Soldier of love and [[Honest content|honesty]]! [''Image changes to a comic of Chris-chan Sonichu fighting a [[Jerkop]]. Chris provides sound effects.''] In this form, I can execute my own personal selection of attacks as a Normal/Electric—Electric-type Hedgehog Pokémon, with keen-eye ability including Mach Punch, Thunderboat and Hyper Beam. As well as—as... human as Sonichu form, I am the only being who can execute the special attack, that inflicts bad luck, extreme misfortune, with some damage to the foe, used to be called "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]", now it's called "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha"! [''Cover of issue ten slides into focus''] Chris-chan Sonichu... that is me! And I—again, this is from—this art is to be the cover of [[Sonichu 10|book number ten]], from my Australian gal-pal fan... who was—nickname was [[PandaHalo]]. [[Chris and death|She is dead now]]... [[lie|and I miss her]]. She was a great friend. Anyway... it is, yeah, fandagreat—fantastic rendition, she was my [[Sweetheart|partner]] at the time until her death.<br />
<br />
[''Slide changes, now displaying the hand drawn Nintendo power cover.''] And, now, the gaming proposition! Let me prep this the subject with a spot of history between me and Nintendo! Dun da daaa! I had a dream! Around June 1997, I had a dream of Sonic the Hedgehog on the original Game Boy. I had written a letter to Nintendo of America suggesting to work with Sega on a Game Boy ''Sonic'' title. Basically, they said I had rocks in my head, but now look in 2001, ''Sonic Advance'' on Game Boy Advance! I pretty much foretold that outcome! [''Image changes to ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' Nintendo power cover.''] Dun dun duun. [''Image changes to the ''Animal Crossing'' feature that Chris's video appeared in.''] And this would be the article from "The Crossing Quarterly". In volume 179 (May 2004) of ''Nintendo Power''... I had been long-time subscriber. In November of before, I had videotaped a voiced-over documentary of my Sonichu and CWCville in ''[[Animal Crossing]]''—on Nintendo GameCube! I got full credit for that documentary, which is noted in lower-box right there: "Special thanks to Christian from Virginia for his Sonichu documentary."<br />
<br />
[''Camera zooms way in, displaying a blurry mess. Chris does more background music, then changes his voice to pretend that he's in Star Trek''] Zoom in on the article!<br />
<br />
Soon after I was feat—soon after I was featured in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]'s newsletter, ''The Forum'', for being featured in Nintendo for my Sonichu and CWCville.<br />
<br />
[''Frontpage of The Forum is displayed, telling us that a student named Crowsey has won Prestigious Awards. The members of the CWCki wish to congratulate Crowsey for his efforts in his chosen field, and hope the years since this headline have brought him further success. Sadly, Crowsey and his daring accomplishments are soon covered by the "Meet Sonichu" article'']<br />
<br />
"Meet Sonichu, soon featured in ''Nintendo Power'' magazine!" Also, I had later submitted a letter with high regards to a DS game, ''[[Sprung]]'', in reference to mo—momentary progress at that time. That letter appeared in this issue... with the screenshot. "Christian C., from Virginia, via the Internet." [''Note that "From Virginia" was ''not'' printed in the magazine, but scrawled in pen by Chris.'']<br />
<br />
Now we can talk about—bit more about my current ideas for Sonichu...'s start in the video game world. Until we get ten feet off the ground on the whole thing, you may use this cover for the following ''NP—Nintendo Power'' issue that would follow... [''"The King Chris-chan Royal Anthem" is reiterated once more''] for ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu's Adventure]]'' on Nintendo GameCube, or Nintendo Wii, maybe.<br />
<br />
My game title ideas: before, or during, the drawing of the ''Number Zero'' book, and afterwards, I came up with a few stereotype ideas for video games around Sonichu and Rosechu. Firstly, ''Sonichu's Adventure''—on Nintendo GameCube! A Christian Chandler production. First, yeah—as featured on the first eight previously-uploaded comic books, come up with that game (subject to upgrade for Wii) and maybe go multi-console—never on Xbox; hex on [[HEXBox]]! [''Thinking that he can address someone as superior to him as Miyamoto with "Mayamoto-san"''] Mayamoto-san, ugn... yeah... had a copy of my introductory ideas. Turns out that I was talking to a [[Miyamoto saga|impostor]] at that time, when I updated this.<br />
<br />
Anyway, then, to follow, Game Boy Advance version of ''Sonichu's Adventure'', and, only on GBA: ''Pokémon: Lightning Version''. And then, much later, [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. Would definitely go multi-console—never on HEXBox. This one'll basically be me going through my [[Stress|ordeals]] with Sonichu, Rosechu, and the rest of the Electric Hedgehogs fagging along, like in ''[[Wikipedia:Shadow the Hedgehog (video game)|Shadow of the Hedgehog]]''. I would be able to transfrom into Chris-chan Sonichu in this game. Multi-console between PS3, PS2, Nintendo Wii! Off to a zappingly-extreme, great start, uhhhhh... as rumored, it was, uhh, at the time that I updated this, uhh... Takashi Tazuka—Nintendo can correct me on this, if I am mistaken, or... verify—took—he took it upon himself, with the most-appreciated inquiry of my approval, as the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of [[CWCville]], to create a Sonichu/Rosechu video—villager for ''Animal Crossing: City Folk''... who ''now'' will be likely to zipping across ''Sonichu Crossing'', and—mind the traffic. [''Laughs as though he [[Random-access humor|made a joke]]''] As a fan of ''Animal Crossing'' since the GameCube title—could have released, uhh—could have released as a US version of Nintendo 64 title, as well as the ''Animal Crossing'' movie—I often like to quote Blathers, after going on with the expression, but I digress, so thank y'all for teaching me that expression.<br />
<br />
Sonichu and Rosechu and CWCville: Nintendo can be—can and will be profiting big from my well-grown fanch-base, as well as Sega and Sony. I personally give good word of mouth to Nintendo systems and games included in references in my comic book series. Sonichu and Rosechu on ''Animal Crossing: City Folk'' b—would be a great raise of s—sales of Wii consoles, ''Animal Crossing: City Folk'' game discs, and the Wii Speak. Also, with me starring in the games, as the voices of both myself and the original Sonichu, and my s—my past... well... my [[sweetheart]]...-to-be as the voice of Rosechu, that there will be three less voice actors to hire. [''Ignoring that profits include creating revenue, not just cutting a portion of expenses...''] This is a great start in profits from the Electric Hedgehog that started [[Chris and his ego|humbly]] from the mind of a [[Obesity|well-rounded]], [[Chris and religion|church-going]], [[Autism|high-functioning autistic]], recovered individual. Nintendo will see good profits in the timeframe... of the game's release. Sonichu, go!<br />
<br />
Thank you very much for you time, and I look forward to working y'all—with each of y'all in person very soon on the Sonichu Project. Peace!<br />
<br />
My contact info... [''Displays the contact information slide of the PowerPoint, which includes his name spelled incorrectly as "Christain", as well as listing his Wii number—you know, because a big company executive is totally going to message him on his Wii—which is 8626-5211-8387-4771'']<br />
<br />
Thank you much, and have a safe day. Peace out!<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]|nextlink=[[3 December 2009]]|}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2009| 2009-11-24]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Doctor_Robotnik&diff=171046
Doctor Robotnik
2014-05-28T03:35:22Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Robotnik! Robotnik! I'm a [[Chris and anger|mad]] [[Honor roll|geinus]]! Robotnik, Robotnik! I create chaos with my machines! I'm the darkest evil, and I'm mean! I have a monkey in my robot! Wait! The monkey is a robot! I turned the animal into a robot! With a process I call robotization!!!|The good Doctor's Villain Song, [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]}}<br />
[[Image:Robotnik.jpg|right|thumb|Robotnik hatching another evil plan for Sonichu's balls.]]<br />
[[Image:And your little dog too.jpg|left|thumb|A rendering of Robotnik in Nintendo Power]]<br />
<br />
'''Doctor Robotnik''' (full name: '''Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik''') is the main antagonist of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series that [[Chris]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|rips off]] for his own purposes. According to the user's manual for ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|Sonic Adventure 2]]'', Robotnik has an IQ of 300, which is likely the reason Chris makes the same [[Chris and his Ego|claim about his own intelligence]].<br />
<br />
==History==<br />
Robotnik is briefly alluded to in [[Sonichu #0|''Sonichu'' #0]], and he makes his first actual appearance in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] as the issue's primary villain. He also makes a guest appearance in the homemade ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine. Robotnik seems to be head research scientist for [[Giovanni]] where he orders around the enigmatic [[Bill]], a lab assistant lacking a face. He is also a member of [[PVCC|The Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], as well as the creator of [[Blake]], a clone of [[Sonichu]] genetically engineered to be Sonichu's superior. However, during the creation process, cherry cola was spilled over the beakers and stained Blake black and made him profoundly retarded, making him Sonichu's [[Niggos|niggo]] equal instead. In the same issue, he was also shown to be responsible for the creation of [[Metal Sonichu]]- for some reason ripping off his own creation, ''Metal Sonic''. <br />
<br />
Robotnik was last seen towards the end of [[Sonichu #9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where Robotnik, Giovanni, and Reldnahc hold Rosechu captive while Giovanni asks Sonichu whether he'll choose his girlfriend over CWCville. He and Reldnahc are then knocked out by an unseen force (because apparently someone KO'd them from behind or something) and they have to retreat while Reldnahc [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits]] himself in embarrassment.<br />
<br />
==Purpose==<br />
Robotnik's presence in the comic initially appeared to be that of an antagonist, or at the very least a supporting character as part of the evil cabal who attempts to [[Love_Quest|thwart Chris]]. Instead, his presence only stands to reinforce that Chris has absolutely no skills in character development. The fact that he is the villain of the Sonic games also seems to reinforce the fact that Chris has [[Sonic|blatantly ripped off a far more entertaining plot line]]. Hell, Robotnik even hints at the fact that [[Black Sonichu]] looks like Shadow upon his creation in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]].<br />
<br />
==Objective==<br />
Robotnik's goal in the whole story is never really stated. It can be assumed that he just wants to be an evil asshole like everybody else, cockblocking Chris for the fun of it. In the actual Sonic series, Robotnik is a maniacal scientist hellbent on defeating Sonic and imposing his own view of utopia upon the world. However, in ''Sonichu'', he just seems like a total fruitcake. Despite this, the fact that he is [[Obesity|fat]], claims to be extraordinarily [[wikipedia:Dr._Eggman#Concept_and_inspiration|intelligent]], all while being a bumbling idiot who is always defeated shows that he is actually more representative of Chris than [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|the actual comic character of Chris]].<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
[[Category:Characters]]<br />
[[Category: Villains]]<br />
[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_copyright&diff=171043
Chris and copyright
2014-05-27T20:22:42Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:SonichuCertificate.jpg|thumb|Chris's copyright registration certificate]]<br />
{{Quote|...anyone using my characters and all Without My Consent are Criminals, and such people should be reported to the [[Jerkops|Police]] immediately.|[[Chris]]|[[CWCipedia]]'s Copyright page}}<br />
<br />
As with many things, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a very limited understanding of '''copyright''' and of how it's enforced.<br />
<br />
== Sonichu as a copyrightable work ==<br />
[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Crooks!]]<br />
Chris is vaguely aware of what [[Wikipedia:Copyright|copyright]] is: some sort of a legal right that creators of things have that lets these creators to tell others what they can and can't do &ndash; a very [[naïve]] view, though not entirely incorrect.<br />
<br />
He has really only had one real first-hand experience on the copyright questions that formed the basis of everything that followed: the creation of [[Sonichu]]. According to [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Chris's]] [[Sonichu (character)|"autobiography"]], Chris was making a [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover]], and his teacher successfully explained to him that [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] are characters created by others, and he has no right to use them and he has to create something original instead. In the [[Father Call|call with Kacey's father]], he also says the teacher told him he had been in the clear with the beginning as far as copyright is concerned.<br />
<br />
However, the fact that teacher accepted Sonichu cemented Chris's vague understanding of the [[law]], and now he's unwilling to learn the truth. In his mind, mashing together two different characters and "[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|<nowiki>[putting]</nowiki> a little C-In-A-Circle and <nowiki>[his]</nowiki> John Hancock]]" creates completely new intellectual property that is his and his alone.<br />
<br />
In reality, any work that uses previously copyrighted work as a basis is a derivative work. This means that while it may have substantial original elements that the creator definitely holds a copyright on, it cannot be published or distributed without permission of the original copyright holders. The reality isn't ''entirely'' clear-cut, however, and there are several exceptions to this rule, both well-understood ([[wikipedia:Fair use|Fair Use doctrine]], which allows limited use of copyrighted material for journalistic and scholarly purposes) and less well understood (there's an ongoing debate about the emerging copyright issues like digital rights and the remixing arts).<br />
<br />
Unfortunately for Chris, Sonichu is a fairly clear-cut case of a derivative work. While the character design itself has ''some'' originality despite its blatantly derivative style (and as such might have passed the teacher's inspection), as far as backstory is concerned, Sonichu explicitly said to be a fusion of two existing characters - by Chris as its creator and in the comic story itself.<br />
<br />
In other words, if Chris had elected to merely ape Sonic art style and plot elements from video games, he might have something that is borderline acceptable. There are way too many explicit references to the games, however. Fundamentally, Chris wanted [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]; if they are just some made-up characters and ''not'' Pokémon, they just aren't ''true'' enough for him. Unfortunately, Chris doesn't understand that such "made-up" characters are how people ''define'' creativity.<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
== Chris as an enforcer of rights ==<br />
[[Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|thumb|right|[[The Creepy Stare|Don't look right into their eyes.]]]]<br />
Chris is very paranoid regarding his copyright, and will frequently [[CWC Public Disclaimer|hand out all of his personal information to complete strangers]] if he thinks it is being contested. This has backfired in a number of ways.<br />
<br />
Chris has encouraged people to report copyright infringements to the [[jerkops|police]]. The police, unfortunately, can't do much when random citizens report civil offenses such as copyright infringement. Even if Chris ''had'' the rights to the works in question, suing people for copyright infringement would be Chris's job and his job alone, or that of a representative whom he has specifically appointed to that specific task.<br />
<br />
Unsurprisingly, Chris is a [[Chris and hypocrisy|total hypocrite]] when it comes to abusing the work of other creators. In the space of 11½ issues, [[Things Chris has ripped off|Chris pulled characters and concepts from innumerable franchises]] and even went so far as to steal "original" characters from fans and [[sweethearts]] with little respect shown to their creators. He's even had the balls to take [[Asperchu|another creator's characters]], [[Mitch Sonichu|alter them]] and demand that thenceforth they be portrayed the way ''he'' has made them in the original material. Despite how firmly Chris holds on to his views of copyright, when directly challenged on why it's okay for him to rip things off but not for other people to do the same to Sonichu, he's unable to think of a response.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]</ref><br />
<br />
Furthermore, Chris refuses to listen to the original creators of these "original" characters when they ask to have their characters removed. The best example would be the fight between [[Evan]] and Chris over the character [[Simonla Rosechu]], a ripoff of Evan's original character Simonchu. When Evan demanded that Chris remove Simonla from the comics in an on-page death, Chris refused because ''it would take [[Wild Sonichu]]'s girlfriend away''. As time went on, Chris fought tooth and nail to keep Simonla in, going so far as to write out a scenario where Simonchu is told to tell Evan that Simonla likes [[CWCville]]. In the end, it took two shut downs of the CWCipedia for Chris to finally surrender and kill off Simonla.<br />
<br />
===Licensing and terms of use===<br />
<br />
The [[Wikipedia:MediaWiki|MediaWiki]] software used on [[CWCipedia]] had various built-in settings for content licensing. During installation, MediaWiki defaults to [[Wikipedia:GNU Free Documentation License|GNU Free Documentation License]], which states that the content can be reused elsewhere for any purpose, as long as proper copyright holder attribution and license references are given.<br />
<br />
On 6 [[September 2009]], a fan wrote to Chris and thanked him for allowing this reuse, which provoked an uncharacteristically swift response from Chris, demanding WikiSysop not-so-politely to remove the obviously erroneous "GDU FDL" license.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The License on the bottom of my Cwcipedia (WS)|Chris's message to WikiSysop]]</ref><br />
<br />
This prompted Chris to write his own [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights Copyrights] and [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Terms_of_use Terms of use] pages.<br />
<br />
The legal problems caused by Chris's terms are detailed elsewhere in this article. The Terms of Use are even weirder:<br />
<br />
* ''"Any and All Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive works will be Immediately Deleted and NOT be uploaded, or seen ever again; NO RESUBMISSIONS ALLOWED of such pieces."''<br />
* ''ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well."''<br />
* Fan sites should be pre-approved by Chris.<br />
* Sending spam to Sega and Nintendo about making official Sonichu games is apparently part of Terms of Use.<br />
<br />
===Copyright registration===<br />
It appears that Chris has actually paid US$45, and somehow got [http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?v1=1&ti=1,1&Search%5FArg=Sonichu&Search%5FCode=TALL&CNT=10&PID=ZvDUHHsi-vkzrRWQU2p5oLpU7yxe&SEQ=20091106120549&SID=1 Sonichu approved by the United States Copyright Office]. On 12 [[November 2009]], he also posted a scan of the confirmation letter he received to [[CWCipedia]] and posted a highly predictable [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|my-Heart-Level-just-went-to-100%-again video]].<br />
<br />
Psychologically, this copyright registration represents a big win for Chris, because it gives him what he thinks are bragging rights, even though he has no idea what the copyright registration ''actually'' means. Copyright registration isn't an official recognition of copyright, however. Copyrights are granted automatically, and copyright registrations are only an official assertion that a specific work has been created at a specific date by the registrant; the registrations are only needed when suing another party for copyright infringement. It is also not a registration of a ''trademark''; Chris has no special rights for the name "Sonichu" itself. Finally, Chris made a critical mistake in filing the registration application: he described Sonichu as a "work for hire" in the apparent belief that this meant that the comic was his primary occupation, when it [[Wikipedia:Work for hire|really means]] that he created it on behalf of someone else, who is considered the creator for legal purposes.<br />
<br />
If Nintendo or Sega sue Chris, they can easily demonstrate that they've held the rights to original characters like Sonic and Pikachu and Chris's work is derivative.<br />
<br />
'''IN SHORT:''' Chris's copyright registration doesn't mean his comics are non-infringing.<br />
<br />
=== Use of copyright notices ===<br />
The way Chris maintains his so-called copyrights within his works is also baffling. It's possible he goes by the assumption that almost everything he draws must contain copious copyright notices, usually in a large disclaimer:<br />
<br />
{{quote|© Christian Weston Chandler, March [[2000]]-????}}<br />
<br />
It's worth noting that Chris obsessively includes copyright symbols in pictures he draws of Sonichu, including a picture he drew in the snow in his [[Holiday Greetings]] video and a doodle he drew on his ticket to the [[2005]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention.<br />
<br />
However, only daily newspaper comic strips have constant notices reminding about copyright due to their daily nature. In most forms of media throughout the world, one copyright notice at the beginning of the work is enough to assert rights, and only the year is noted in a copyright notice. <br />
<br />
Finally, the year of the creation of the ''specific'' work in question should be noted in the copyright notice; for example [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] should be "''© 2009-2010 CWC''". If Chris would want to specifically emphasize that Sonichu in general has existed since March 2000, he'd need to do so in an additional copyright notice (e.g. "''Sonichu'' #10 © 2009-2010 CWC. Sonichu character © CWC, March 2000.")<br />
<br />
===Chris's motivations===<br />
In any case, Chris doesn't really care so much what his copyright registration means and what it might or might not be good for, practically speaking. To him, it's mainly just a crutch for his ego. In the aftermath of his feud with [[Liquid Chris]], he sees it as the final and clinching proof that he himself is the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu. On 26 [[November 2009]], he posted the following as part of an announcement on [[CWCipedia]], which is quite illuminating:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Also, I have been thinking, although all Sonichu "Merchandise" sold online in the past I have labeled false; I did that, because it came as a surprise to me then, I felt outraged appropriately (most everyone can relate to that; it's comparable to if [[Wikipedia:Godzilla|Godzilla]] or Clover [the [[Wikipedia:Cloverfield|Cloverfield]] monster] came to YOUR Metropolis and suddenly attacked your city). I realize now that even though it is still considerably Not Official, it all still is an homage to my creation. So I will make it clear to ALL those Vendors.<br />
<br />
As long as it is NOT printed copies of my books' pages, or bootlegged copies of my "[[Christian Weston Chandler, Yep, I'm On T.V.]]" DVD, AND As Long As I am quoted on ALL websites' and vendors' locations as Original Creator of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Cwcville]] and all of such, I, Christian Weston Chandler, approve of such merchandise from Day Forward. At least to give you all, my patient, loyal [[Fans]] and [[Troll]]s, something to quell your pallets [''sic''] until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, [[GameStop]], [[Best Buy]], [[Wal-Mart]], etcetera and such.<br />
<br />
[[Chris and ego|I have spoken]], and I wish everyone a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving.<br />
<br />
--ChrisChanSonichu 02:17, 26 [[November 2009]] (CET)}}<br />
<br />
In other words, Chris doesn't really care if other people use his supposed intellectual property, so long as he's the one that gets the credit, not some impostor in brown stripes. The idea expressed here is not unlike that in the [[wikipedia:Creative Commons|Creative Commons]] Attribution license.<br />
<br />
==Chris's views==<br />
{{main|Parody}}<br />
Chris is ''very'' protective of his characters. Chris believes that his characters are officially "parodies", thus, he is allowed to create his multimedia empire on a legal loophole. What Chris fails to realize that is that parodies are essentially mockeries of something they're based on, done for laughs or as a commentary on the original work. According to the [[Wikipedia:Supreme Court of the United States|US Supreme Court]], parody "is the use of some elements of a prior author's composition to create a new one that, at least in part, comments on that author's works." So if Chris was, say, making commentary on commercialization by making a pastiche of what was popular at the time, it would be fine. The fact that it is parody and not plagiarism must also be made obvious. <br />
<br />
Sonichu and Rosechu are ''not'' parodies, just shitty recolors. Chris doesn't mean to make fun of the characters they're based on, nor make commentary of them. He slavishly imitates the kind of adventures they have in an attempt to tell his own stories. Even his most original characters are either based on [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|someone he knows]] or [[Flame the Sunbird|are cribbed extensively from existing characters]].<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
== See also ==<br />
*[[Liquid Chris]]<br />
*[[Robert Simmons V]]<br />
*[[Jimmy Hill]]<br />
*[[Parody]]<br />
*''[[Asperchu]]''<br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_Game_Talk&diff=171030
Sonichu Game Talk
2014-05-27T02:42:16Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>"'''Sonichu Game Talk'''" (officially "'''Sonichu Game Talk Part 1'''" and "'''Sonichu Game Talk Part 2'''") is a two-part video made by Chris in August [[2008]], in which he discusses the upcoming ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu]]'' video game by [[JK Productions]], which he would later discover to be an elaborate prank. <br />
<br />
Despite making no contributions to the game, Chris assures his fans that he is working hard on the storyline, which really just boils down to [[Rosechu]] getting kidnapped at the [[mall]], like in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]. And so forth. Also, you'd be able to play each stage as any of the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]<br />
<br />
Throughout the video, Chris continues to segue in and out of talking about the comics, explaining how he'll be returning from the [[Time Void]] to defeat [[Count Graduon]], only to step down as Mayor of [[CWCville]] and take a less prominent role in the story. Chris also hints that Graduon will encounter [[Metal Sonichu]] later on, which will have serious ramifications down the road. He also announces [[Black Sonichu]]'s name change, and his love affair with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. <br />
<br />
Chris also mentions the trust he has for his good friends [[Blanca]] and [[Robert Simmons V]], which is why he featured them in the pages of [[Sonichu 7]]. He then plugs the JK Productions blog, and signs off.<br />
<br />
==Part 1==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 1<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|OzwgJeWkoRs}}<br />
| stardate = 28 [[August 2008]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}; {{Video games|text}}<br />
| style = {{Reason|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{SeaGreenPolo|text}}<br />
| previous = [[An Official Sonichu Update]]<br />
| next = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 2<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I will be coming out of the, uh, time void.}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
An update to my loyal [[Trolls|fans]] on the Internet through the [[YouTube]]! [[Chris and his Ego|You know who I am by now]]: the big CWC, the original creator of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]], my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].<br />
<br />
Alright. Well, first off, I am going to, uh, give y'all some talk as, uh, w—as, uh... ''suggested'' by my, uh, associates, who are in… on the Sonichu game that's—uh, that's, uh, in development. I'm, uh, still thinkin' about the, uh, story very much. It's in m—all—it's—well, I got a big chunk of the stories in my head. It's gonna be, like, multiple stories, like, you know... we’ll go through multiple characters—uh, all the original Sonichu and Rosechu hedgehogs. That's, uh, one idea. Yeah. So, uh...<br />
<br />
Yeah. Well, anyway, I'm just gonna—anyway, I'm just gonna mention, uh, a few, uh, random, uh, things that I'm thinkin' about between the comic… and the game and... whatever else that may come out of it.<br />
<br />
Mmm. As for, uh, plans—as for future plans of the game once it, uh, gets, uh… once it gets fully developed and released onto the, uh, systems, excluding the, uh, [[Hex Box|H-HEXBox]]... [''stops speaking, looking suddenly confused'']<br />
<br />
Yeah. Anyway, um... [''starts tapping [[PS3]] controller against hand'']<br />
<br />
Once we get this—uh, once we get the, uh, game o—game project off the ground (hopefully with the assistance of [[Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]] and [[Sega]] of America [''inhales sharply''])... we will de—w—there will definitely be the, uh, release of the [[Jimmy Hill|official Sonichu merchandise]], including officially-released and… distributed—manufactured [[medallion]]s, for, uh, one thing. Copies of my, uh, ''C''—my ''[[DVD|CWC on TV DVD]]''... that you've seen only a few bits of on the, uh, [[YouTube]]... and such, and, uh, the ac—as well as, uh, possible—uh, S—possible Sonichu action figures.<br />
<br />
Mmm… let me point out one thing just, uh, so we're clear: the name of the comic is "''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''". "'''''Sonichu'''''". It's about—it ''should'' be mostly about the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon—''not me''; I'm just the intrusive director, and I picked up that plotline from the anime series ''[[Excel Saga]]'', with [[Wikipedia:Shinichi Watanabe|Shinichi Watanabe]] [[Parody|doin’ pretty much the same thing that I did]].<br />
<br />
But, you know, I'll give y'all a sneak peek: at the [[Sonichu 9|end of the, uh, season]], I will be [[Homo|coming out]] of the, uh, [[Time Void]]. But, also, I will be, uh, relinquish—I will be relinquishing my, uh, role as Mayor, but I will still be the main founder of [[CWCville]]. I will be giving the keys of... [''stutters unintelligibly'']. ''Storywise'', I'll be giving the keys to the city and the—and the whole Mayorship to my... imag—to my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|twin sister]]. But do note that I will still definitely be the original creator of Sonichu, no matter what, even though I'm just—even though I'm basically takin’ m’out—myself out of the story, 'cause I felt like... I've been [[Ego|hogging the spotlight]] for too long, so... at the end of the season, I will... humbly withdraw myself. But I will still be making, like, you know, ''cameo''... appearances now and then (as I see fit) in the comic. [''inhales sharply'']<br />
<br />
As for the, uh, story of the, uh, game... I got a few ideas on my mind—uh, alright. So, here's the idea. Alright. At the end of seas—at the end of the comics’ season one, I will reveal that—I will reveal that, uh... I take uh, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s, uh... ''wand''... that's, uh, also known as th—also, you know, is—has the spirit of the evil [[Count Graduon]]. He's gonna be the big, leading villain... in the second season. I'll be tossin’ the wand... tossin’ it up to [[the Moon]], and, you can take a stab at, uh, [[Metal Sonichu|who he will manifest into]]... that has been stranded on the moon since, uh… [[Sonichu 1|Number 1]]. Comic... ''Number''... One. Emphasis on the "''number''"... because... you don't wanna get messed up with Z—[[Sonichu 0|''Number'' Zero]].<br />
<br />
==Part 2==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 2<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nR6KrdM6pwk}}<br />
| stardate = 28 [[August 2008]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}; {{Video games|text}}<br />
| style = {{Reason|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{SeaGreenPolo|text}}<br />
| previous = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 1<br />
| next = [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Sonichu.net! 'Nothin' but net.'}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
So… that's something for y'all to—read the comic and get yourself familiar with. <br />
<br />
Mmm… let’s see what else we got here… um… oh, yeah. It's, uh, the main point—the, uh, ''villain''. Now, uh… as far as some ideas I have upon the, uh, multiple stories, uh, I'll give ya, like, uh, beginnings of what I have in mind, in a nutshell.<br />
<br />
First’ll be—first at—you’ll be able to unlock by—you'll be able to play by default in the video game—the Sonichu game... will be... Sonichu. The original—the original Sonichu. [''inhales deeply''] Basically, with the opening’d be him being—running about like, you know, like [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] would? And, then, he finds out that, uh... Rosechu's been kidnapped. So, uh, he's— so the— basically, his story will be to, uh... go out and rescue her.<br />
<br />
And then, uh, event—and then, event—and then, as ''his'' story progresses, he'll get to meet all the other hed—all the other hedgehogs, as well. But, then, uh, we move on over to, uh, Rosechu's story, where, like, you know...<br />
<br />
First, we, uh, see her makin' her trek down to the, uh, shop—down to the [[CWCville Mall|shopping mall]], and she—and then, uh, we—uh... As she g—we follow her as she, uh, picks up the—uh, multiple number of items she, uh, wants and needs, like, uh, [''switches to a disturbing falsetto''] “Ooh! Look at that [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]]! [[Women's Rights|That ring's so pretty]]!” [''switches back to normal voice''] Yeah. And, then, eventually, she ''will'' get kidnapped, and that will be where it will tie into the beginning of ''Sonichu's'' story.<br />
<br />
And then, we go to—and, then, uh, we go into [[Wild Sonichu]]'s story. Uh... not fully developed as to, like, uh, what his goal is yet, but, you know... it will definitely, uh, be like, you know... he'll be able to sss—vine swing through every level. At least, uh, he'll be able to vine swing as much as reasonably plau—possible.<br />
<br />
And, then, we go onto [[Bubbles]]. [''switches to a kinda-cutesy voice''] Everybody love Bubbles. [''fully switches to cutesy voice''] Bubbles is the ''bub-bl-y'' one! [''switches back to normal voice''] Anyway, yeah. Some—uh, [[china|she'll get more wet]]. I mean, uh, a—all the hedgehogs will go through… all the same levels, 'cept a variation. Bubbles will be mostly being a—will mostly be able to swim. Some—so, somewhat underwater versions of those levels. And [[Angelica]], you know, well, she'll s— she’ll be flying high... casting off Wing Attacks against, uh, the enemies in ''her'' story.<br />
<br />
[[Punchy]]'s, uh… he's just gonna be punchin’ down the bad guys… but, ''unlike'' Knuckles, ''not''—no—no treasure hunting. He's not a treasure hunter... He's, uh, basically just a master of the ol’… ''ninjitsu''… [''raises hands in a mock-[[Wikipedia:Ninjutsu|ninjutsu]] stance''] and something, but he mostly [''switches to a deep voice''] ''punches!'' Punch, punch, punch! [''mimes throwing punches, then returns to normal voice''] Yeah. And, then, [[Magi-Chan]], you know, he'll be ab—he'll—he’ll be similar to, like, what Silver could do, since, you know, he ''is'' the psychic one. [''slowly waves one hand, pretending to use telekinesis'']<br />
<br />
And yes, [[Black Sonichu]] will, uh… yeah, definitely give him his story in the—his own storyline, like, you know… you know, basically, starts off as ba—starts off bad, like he did, but, then, uh, he gets betrayed by, uh, [[Naitsirhc]], who turns into Reldnahc. Yeah. S—so, anyway, uh… yeah, they basically lea—so, they basically leaves him… behind, and, uh… tries—goes about, uh, lookin’ up his own, uh, meaning of, uh, life, and whatnot… like, uh, similarly—how Shadow would. But, also, reveal definitely… ''Black'' Sonichu. Also, you know, for short—for Black Sonichu was “Blachu”? I'm changin' it! For his nickname, as it will be revealed—revealed in the upcoming [''switches to an increasingly gay voice''] [[Sonichu 8|"Spring Break issue"]]! [''drops gay voice and puts on a vaguely Mexican accent''] Everybody have fun on Spring Break! [''returns to normal voice''] He will prefer to be called ''“Blake”''. Simply “Blake”.<br />
<br />
Yeah. So, anyway, yeah, Blake's fartin' around with Bubbles… [''switches to kinda-cutesy voice again''] but Bubbles likes to try to think that she can keep it—keep it to herself, like, you know, she wants to l—she wants—she has a, like, uh, you know… [''fully switches to cutesy voice again''] ooh, she turned on by the [''abruptly switches to a bad Palpatine impression''] ''Dark Side''... of the Force… [''returns to normal voice''] and all the ''[[Duck|naught-i-ness]]'' that Black—that Blake will want to bring with him! But it's obvious to Ro—it's obvious to original Rosechu. So, she talks to—so, she…—what's the word I'm looking for? What's the wor—you know, uh... oh, yeah. She gossips with Ang—she gossips with Angelica about it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, uh, among all the, uh, stories between my Electric Hedgehogs and, uh, myself, I'll be leaving s—the, uh, s—at the end of the s—first season. Mmm… I'll have a feeling that, you know, I'll be able to, uh, work better, once in real life I actually do find my woman to become my ''[[sweetheart]]''… but… you know, it's so—it's nice to know that I actually do have a… good [[gal-pal]] that I made over the Internet recently, whose, uh, inspired character—she was inspired by me. Her inspired character I've given my full approval f—of and introduced in the comic I just uploaded to what is now—can also be considered to be… [[Sonichu.net]]! ''“Nothin' but net.”'' Screw your ''com''! I got da net! Yeah.<br />
<br />
Her name is, uh, y—sh—her online name is, uh, [[Blanca|KawaiiKitsune]]… and she is the—and she, herself, is the original character of—the new bubblegum pop star: [''holds up drawing of [[Jiggliami]] while speaking in the cutesy voice yet again''] ''Jiggliami''! Jiggliamiii… [''returns to normal voice''] Yeah. So, like, you know, uh... it's possible she may, uh, act—she and I might actually meet in the future, but, uh.... Yeah, 'cause, you know… I—reason why I put—I allowed, uh, like, you know, interviews with, uh, KawaiiKitsune and, uh, [[Robert Simmons V]]? 'Cause those two—they both, res—they both—"each" have earned my trust… in their own way, between, uh, Robert's YouTube videos and, uh... just—uh, and then, a whole bunch of, uh, honest chats between, uh, Kawaii... Yeah. So, basically... they both earned my trust, so I give 'em... ''radio interview'' on the—in the comic between [[Jamsta]] and [[Lolisa|Lo-isa]]! [''"sings"''] ''Lolisaaa!'' [''pauses and returns to normal voice''] Yeah.<br />
<br />
Okay. So, uh, anyway, point is... Sonichu game: I just gave you the, uh, details on that… gave you a little sneak peek at the, uh... Spring Break issue… and, uh... and the Season One. But, uh, basically, the, uh, Sonichu game will definitely have, uh, you know, stories between… Sonichu and Rosechu and all—and the other hedgehogs. The—they're like if y—or like, uh, they'll, uh, start it—they'll start off with the stories that originally originate in Season One. They'll mostly be, uh, the newer stories that'll be s—revealed in Season Two.<br />
<br />
Alright. So, anyway, that's the, uh… update. Be sure you go to, uh, sonichugame.blogspot.com… to, uh, talk to my associates over at… JK… [''stifles a burp and exhales loudly''] Productions. Or, uh, con—or, uh, talk about how you're lookin' forward to the game because… yep… just like sonichu.''net'', I'm excited—I'm excited about the game, as well. I don't have any ''future'' plans as of this point, but, uh… you know, I think my—I'll feel better when my future's set, when I have my, uh, sweetheart.<br />
<br />
So... thank you very much, everyone of you, for your, uh, patronage. And I hope y'all have a pleasant day.<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[An Official Sonichu Update]]|nextlink=[[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]|}}<br />
{{Game Videos}}<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2008|28]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC&diff=171029
I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC
2014-05-27T02:30:16Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>"'''I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC'''" (officially "'''I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts'''") is a video uploaded on 26 [[2009#July|July 2009]] by Chris, in which he redefines the word [[Homos|gay]], showcases his artwork to demonstrate his authenticity and finishes with a vicious attack on the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].<br />
<br />
==Summary==<br />
[[Image:I Am The TRUE, Original.jpg|thumb|240px|Chris shows off his [[Scrapbook of Fail]].]]<br />
<br />
The video opens with Chris standing in his room, wearing his [[Chris and fashion#Wardrobe|red shirt with blue and gray stripes]], [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Medallions of Fail#Mark 3|Sonichu medallion]] and his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Chris announces he is "here to dispel a big, fat thing". He then explains that the [[It's UGH!|two videos]] of him singing along to "Ok2bgay" by Tomboy were the result of blackmail, and that he felt quite nauseous about the whole thing. Chris tells us he was (mis)informed that "Ok2bgay" was "a mockery", and so his performance was in a similar vein—in fact, it was comparable to comedy legends ''[[Monty Python]]''.<br />
<br />
From this, he somehow reasons that, since he was mocking being gay as stupid, his true message was it's okay to be stupid. He then feels obliged to assert his own heterosexuality by screaming "I AM STRAIGHT!", although the rhetorical question of whether Chris looks gay is met with hesitation before a shake of the head. Confusing the word "accusation" with another similar word, he also demands the cessation of "acquisition messages". We are also reminded that any dissing of Chris [[Do Not Dis C Ville|is also a diss of CWCville and Charlottesville]]. This is all achieved with multiple jump cuts, dramatic removal of and discarding of his glasses, wild gesticulation and [[YouTube]] video annotations. Speaking of which, this video is unique with regards to the sheer number of annotations Chris incorporates into it - Chris's videos usually don't have any annotations, even when he is raging. It is possible that the additional effort of writing annotations for videos causes Chris too much [[stress]], leading him to more or less abandon them after attempting to use them in this video.<br />
<br />
Chris then defends himself from accusations of being an impostor by going through the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and displaying (allegedly) original art from the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]] while providing commentary.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XxWDwHvksOM}}<br />
| stardate = 29 [[July 2009]]<br />
| maker = Chris<br />
| style = {{Rage|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}<br />
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"]]<br />
| next = [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]<br />
}} <br />
{{quote|...and I did an awesome fuckin' job.}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
====Dispelling a big, fat thing (0:00 to 1:43)====<br />
<br />
Hi! [''points and waves finger''] Christian Weston Chandler here! And I am here to dispel a [[Chris|big, fat thing]].<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
[[It's UGH!|The... urkay to be gay sign, nnhg...]].<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
When I first read the lyrics I was being [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmailed]] into doing this.<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
I felt queasy [''dramatically removes glasses''] from the first time I looked at the very first line [''dramatically discards glasses''] of that damn, dirty song. But then, later, a friend made me realize—uh, a friend told me that ''it was originally done as a mockery''! ''A mockery'' by the damn Tomboy. ''A mockery''! So I went with that... and did my own spin-off of [''arms outstretched''] ''Monty Python's Flying Circus''! {{YoutubeAnnotation|[[Random Access Humor|Really Stupid Flying Donkey]]}} So therefore when I was saying ''it's okay to be gaaay'' I was saying it's okay to be STUPID! Stupid! That's one reason why I put that message in front of the video. {{YoutubeAnnotation|Webster's Dictionary: -Gay (Adj.) 1) STUPID!!!<ref>Webster's primary [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gay definition] of gay is "happily excited[;]merry"</ref>}} Y'know, the word is stupid! The word is STUPID!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
[[Image:ChrisAnnotations.jpg|thumb|This is why [[YouTube]] made annotations: so Chris can communicate the need for "[[Women's rights|liberated]] vag".]]<br />
<br />
The whole premise was stupid and that's what I went with. Stupid! I am straight! [''annotations: ''<span style="background-color:#dddddd">I AM [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!!!!!!!!!</span>, <span style="background-color:#dddddd">I LOVE [[Ivy|NATURAL WOMAN BREASTS]]!!!!!</span>, <span style="background-color:#dddddd">GIVE ME LIBERATED [[China|VAG]]!!!!!</span> and <span style="background-color:#dddddd">MY [[Duck|DUCK]] HUNGERS FOR [[China|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!</span>] Would I even be doing this if I—<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
And look at me. Do I look like [''shakes head in disagreement'']—'''no more of those stupid acquisition messages!'''<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
Get it through your '''fucking'''... '''individual'''... '''damn'''... '''dirty'''... '''''SKULLS'''''! '''I'''... '''am'''... '''STRAIGHT!'''<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
[[Do Not Dis C Ville|Do not diss me any more!]] Or you will further diss [[CWCville]] and the city of [[Charlottesville]]!<br />
<br />
====A history (1:44 to 4:11)====<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
[[Image:issuezero.jpg|thumb|right|60px]]<br />
But anyway, also, to prove another point that I am indeed the real Christian Weston Chandler. And that I am not that damn fucking [[CChanSonichuCWC|imposter in brown]]! I am going to show you a history, [''produces a black folder with the cover picture from [[Sonichu 0]] on the cover, shakes his head like a smug, retarded tortoise, and raises the pitch of his voice considerably''] of close-ups. A close-up history. Let's have a look in here, shall we?<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to a close up of the Sonichu 0 cover'']<br />
<br />
Ah yes, the infamous [''totally misunderstanding the meaning of the prefix -in''] classic hand-drawn cover of the ''Number 0'' book. You can never, ever copy the hand-drawn styles. No matter how hard you try.<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to Chris's face poking out of the right side of the frame'']<br />
<br />
My art [[Autism|speaks for me]]. Now let's look at some more.<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
Here's a one page I'm sure you remember.<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComicPage6.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a close-up of Sonichu defeating the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]]'']<br />
<br />
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqYkCJaBAyA Bad, bad Leeroy Brown.]<br />
<br />
[[Image:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a close-up of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] kissing under some fireworks'']<br />
<br />
Mine and the first romantic attempt,[regurgitating something his mother must have told him] and I did an awesome fuckin' job.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a close-up of the cover of ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]]<br />
<br />
Here's another one.<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
And that corner tag came from an original "only for GameCube" title that was originally... a GameCube title but then later it expanded to other consoles. [''pulls picture down and pokes his head in from right''] Damn [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]].<br />
<br />
[[Image:issueone.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to the cover of ''Sonichu 1]<br />
<br />
"Chemical X?"<br />
"No, cherry cola."<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic2Page21.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to an ad for some retarded Pokémon cards'']<br />
<br />
A favorite classic ad.<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic2Page23.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a page from ''Sonichu 1]<br />
<br />
Oh yeah, here comes a laugh:<br />
<br />
"[[Random access humor|I'm Robotnik, Robotnik, du-du-du-du-du, Robotnik, Robotnik, du-du-du-du-du-duuuu]]~"<br />
<br />
[''laughing like a deranged lunatic at a joke not humorous to anyone but him''] "Hahahahaha!"<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic2Page35.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a scene from another page from ''Sonichu 1]<br />
<br />
What's the difference between [[Amy Rose|Amy]] and Rosechu? Long tail. Rosechu has spikes. Amy has a red headband, Rosey has white. Her default outfit has stripes. Amy's does not. Blue and fire-engine red are their favorite colors. She prefers a different shade of red, Amy does. Now while they are going getting about, we'd like to save time and money with Get-co.<br />
<br />
[[Image:AxeAd.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to the [[Axe]] ad'']<br />
<br />
Only for the [[Homos|straight]] man. Axe. He use the Orizon—Orion scent.<br />
<br />
"May I orbit your belt, sweetheart?"<br />
<br />
"Yeah I'll let you orbit my belt... as long as you want until midnight! Hahaha, yeah! Jackpot!" [''OH HO! Funny, Chris. Ba-zing!'']<br />
<br />
====A history (4:11 to 6:01)====<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic3Page23.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to [[Sonichu 2#Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"|a scene]] from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] arc of ''[[Sonichu 2]]]<br />
<br />
Anuh—And now something completely different. An ''Inuyasha'' parody... very good.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Issue3.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a closeup of the [[Chaotic Combo]] on the cover of [[Sonichu 3]]'']<br />
<br />
[''sings''] Hey, hey. The gang's all here. What the heck do we care? What the heck do we care?<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic4Pages5+7.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to two overlapping pages of ''Sonichu 3'': the introductions of [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]]'']<br />
<br />
Here you are, two famous ladies.<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic4Page8.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a close-up of [[G.D.W. Shinabe]]'']<br />
<br />
[''sings'']I'm Nabeshin. My afro suits me; it's so easy to clean just wash it wash, Poemy was not the girl who ripped his tail, it was [[Mypoe]] you dang, old dorks.<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuSubE4P11.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a scene from [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|"McAttack"]] featuring a replica of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] made of [[pixelblocks|Lego bricks and Pixelblocks]'']]<br />
<br />
[''high-pitched, squeaky voice'']Oh, look! I made it from Legos and Pixelblocks. And, believe it or not, [[Pixelated PS3|I play "Thunderhorse"]]! ''[[Guitar Hero]]''!<br />
<br />
[[Image:issue4.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to the cover of ''[[Sonichu 4]]]<br />
<br />
I went. I fought. I eventually conquered with courage.<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
[[Cwc dare|Heaven only knows what you might find. DARE. Dare to keep all your dreams alive!]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:Crystal.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a picture of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from ''[[Sub-Episode 7]]]<br />
<br />
The twin sister I wish I had in real-life.<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuSubE7P10.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to another scene from ''Sub-Episode 7]<br />
<br />
Holy Vector Sigma, [[Optimus Prime]]!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
Where's Bumblebee when I need him?<br />
<br />
[[Image:Chris blood.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a scene from ''[[Sub-Episode 8]]]<br />
<br />
Damn you, Bagget.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a picture of Jack's Knight from the first page of ''[[Sonichu 5]]]<br />
<br />
Special summoned guest star: Jack's Knight. [[Random Access Humor|Where is the queen and king? Matter of fact, was there an ace in the hole?]]<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
[''gay voice''] [[China|The hole of the ''queeeeen''?]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu05-P14.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a scene where Chris-chan Sonichu plays ''Yu-Gi-Oh!]<br />
<br />
CWCspells, activate! Pshoo!<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu05-P15.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to the page opposite'']<br />
<br />
''Annnnnnnnd'' CREATURE SWAP! <br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu05-P18.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a picture of [[Megan|Sailor Megtune]] and her [[Megagi La Skunk]]'']<br />
<br />
In the name of all hearts in the universe—<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
—we shall punish you!<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu05-P20.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a scene where Megagi La Skunk punches Chris-chan Sonichu in the head'']<br />
<br />
[''makes a punch noise'']<br />
<br />
[''jump cut'']<br />
<br />
That hurt.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu05-P30.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to a picture of Mary Lee Walsh'']<br />
<br />
Damn you, dirty witch. Damn you!<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu05-P37.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to the first page of ''Episode 13'': a group picture containing Chris-chan, Sonichu, Rosechu, and the Chaotic Combo'']<br />
<br />
Welcome to CWCville. Let's get this party started.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu05-P38.jpg|right|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to the following page'']<br />
<br />
Evil witch, I will avenge all hearts you have shattered (including myself), which you have done in October [[2003]].<br />
<br />
[[Image:Sonichu05-P41.jpg|left|thumb|60px]]<br />
[''jump cut to another page with Megan and Megagi'']<br />
<br />
[''sings''] Uuuhduhnuhnuhnuhnuhduhduhnuhnuhnuhduhnuh ala Tuxedo Kamen! Duhduhduhnuhnuh<br />
<br />
====A history (6:02 to 9:34)====<br />
[''jump cut to cover of ''Sonichu 6]<br />
<br />
[[Patti]], I miss you. [[Chris and Death|Come home]]. We'll go play catch. And dear [[Kitty Chandler|Kitty]] misses you, too... very much so. I love you.<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of Allison Amber from ''Sonichu 6]<br />
<br />
Miss [[Allison Amber]] has been appointed vice-mayor upon her hiring. And she took the position of mayor during my absence within the [[time void|alternate dimension]]. [[Billy Mays]] was never the mayor; he was my bodyguard and body-double. Shave off his [[Rollin' and Trollin'|beard]], we look alike. Although, I constantly mistake him for Richard Karn. [''sings''] ''Home Improvement''! ''Home Improvement''! Starring Tim Allen. [Note: Home Improvement had an instrumental theme song, and even then it sounded nothing like Chris's howling]<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to previously unseen drawing of Billy Mays'']<br />
<br />
Come on back, Billy Mays, and enjoy our dogwood festivals in Charlottesville!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of [[Bionic]] from ''Sonichu 6]<br />
<br />
[[Bionic|Sonic had a twin brother? And he's a basketball all-star?]] [''sings'']<br />
<br />
:You're a shooting star,<br />
:No matter where you are,<br />
:As far as the eye can see,<br />
:No matter who you be.<br />
<br />
Only so many witnesses in Manchester high school have actually witnessed the creation and birth and Sonichu and Rosechu. [[Chris and his ego|Nobody else]] could ever had the experience those individuals have.<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of [[Megan]] and Chris from [[Sonichu 7]]'']<br />
<br />
Wow, he recovered quick... kind of a Goku get'em attitude. Too bad I was never just that too all into him. Megan... WHY?!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to Chris'']<br />
<br />
...And for that matter, [[The Game Place|Michael Snyder]], WHY?! [''annotation: ''<span style="background-color:#dddddd">Why did you Hate My Guts, Michael Snyder; I had my Voluenteer Job with the Pokemon TCG League. What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!! You have my Number.</span>]<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to Ghostbusters "skitch" from ''Sonichu 7]<br />
[''Peter Griffin laugh''] Before time travel back, I got to visit the Ghostbusters' house. [''more Peter Griffin laugh'']<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of [[Kellie Andes]] from ''Sonichu 7]<br />
<br />
Kellie, [[lie|I hope you are happy in your married life.]]<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of [[Joseph Herring]] from ''Sonichu 7]<br />
<br />
Hey, Joe, whaddya know? Haven't heard from ya in a long time. How've you been? Hope you found yourself your female sweetheart. Too bad what's-her-name didn't fit the bill so well. She was a damn, dirty bitch. A picky one, too, whatever her name was.<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to ''Beavis and Butt-head'' ripoff from ''Sonichu 7]<br />
<br />
[''Beavis voice''] Check it out, Butt-head. Somebody left their locker open.<br />
<br />
[''terrible Butt-head impression''] Let's close it for them. BAAAM! Who wants to make love today? [''high-pitched girl voice''] Oh, we do! We do teacher! Alright. April, Lorry, Susan... ''Simoooooone''....<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of Sonichu and Rosechu embracing from ''Sonichu 7]<br />
<br />
I love you, Rosey. I love you, too, Sonee. Oh, by the way, you didn't think Sonichu and I were just living together the whole time? We got [''annotation: ''<span style="background-color:#dddddd">March 17, 2006. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!</span>] married March 17th, 2006 at [[Angelica]]'s church. We kept our marriage outside of the comic pages, as well as our children, which we have three of. Two [[Rosey]]s and a [[Sonee]]. As to just not parently—permanen—prematurally miss the family-life during the early days of being online. We are staying offline for a while, bitches!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to drawing of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'']<br />
<br />
[''[[Chris and music|sings]]''] Everybody's trying to break my spirit, keeping me down... but the fire in my heart keeps growing! Growing!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to cover of [[Sonichu 8]]'' ]<br />
<br />
Alright, spring break! Next summer, we get [[Chris's Big Night Out|drunk]]. Woo!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of Sonichu and Rosechu in front of an American flag from ''Sonichu 8]<br />
<br />
We, the electric hedgehogs and everybody in the city of CWCville as a [[C-ville]] within the state of Virginia, stand firm and strong as proud citizens of these United States that everybody have [[Twin Falling Towers|fought so hard for the freedom of.]]<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of Rosechu from ''Sonichu 8]<br />
<br />
WE HAVE VAGINAS, DUMBASSES!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to "Knothole" ad from ''Sonichu 8]<br />
<br />
[[Parody|KNOTHOLE FROM BLAMMO! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNDUN-DUNDUN!]]<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to image of Blake and Bubbles from ''Sonichu 8]<br />
<br />
Oh, yeah, they got married recently on July 4, 2009 [''annotation: ''<span style="background-color:#dddddd">July 4, 2009! A bit of Black Bubblie Goodness TONIGHT! :D</span>]. Happy Independence Day, you lovebirds! [''cackles''] [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|TONIGHT]]!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to "Greta Squall" joke from ''Sonichu 8]<br />
<br />
...leaving hundreds injured. For [[Excel Saga|ricto FQX]], I'm Greta Squall Magironi. Keep it real and rockin' hard at SPRING BREAK! WOO!<br />
<br />
[''jump cut to cover of ''Sonichu 9]<br />
Workin' on it! [''annotation: ''<span style="background-color:#dddddd">Workin' On It</span>]<br />
<br />
====One final tidbit (9:34 - 9:55)====<br />
And now for one final tidbit a spit of retribution against Howard the fiend {{YoutubeAnnotation|What The Hells Were You Thinkin' With That Damn, Dirty Pickle Suit, Brine-Headed Nerd?}} from the cult of [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle-suited fiends]]. Divine retribution for that day you stole [[Emily]], [''gives the finger''] you damn watchman. <br />
<br />
[''jump cut to picture of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Howard and a hedgehog'']<br />
<br />
[''sings''] What the hells were you thinking with that damn pickle suit?<br />
<br />
==Sources and notes==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]|nextlink=[[CWC More Than A Feeling]]|}}<br />
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-26]]<br />
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-07-26]]<br />
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-07-26]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWC_-_Hand_Drawn_Original&diff=170919
CWC - Hand Drawn Original
2014-05-23T02:12:04Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>On 4 [[August 2009]], [[Chris]] uploaded "'''CWC - Hand Drawn Original'''" in another attempt to prove that he is the TRUE and HONEST CWC and not the fake, this time by showing the trolls how he draws [[Sonichu]]. Interestingly, in the video's description, Ian says that he wanted to upload the video to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid's]] account, but that he decided otherwise.<br />
<br />
One would think that the only reason he did this is to show to [[Kacey]] that she is dating the "impostor," as only IBA alone can draw Sonichu correctly. It also seems that Chris is so deluded that he believes Kacey fell in love with the world of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] (which he claims to be his own), and not CChanSonichuCWC's personality. In Chris's mind, this may mean that she should love him instead, so he may be seeking to add another chapter to his [[Love Quest]].<br />
<br />
This video also gives us a rare glimpse into Chris's drawing techniques. He holds his pen in a bizarre fashion, where he sticks his [[duck|bent]] index finger out. His drawing surface of choice isn't even the most basic of smooth surfaces, but a [http://www.amazon.com/Strawberry-Shortcake-Reflecta-Sketch-Set/dp/B00144QMOY Reflecta Sketch], a sketching kit from [[Wikipedia:Spin Master|Spin Master]] that includes a tracing reflector and as seen in the link presented, was marketed to young '''beginning''' artists, not delusional manchildren. In a revelation that surprises absolutely no one with even remotely functional eyes, he doesn't waste time in sketching and thinking out the composition prior to drawing anything. (The hasty release of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] shows that he does some sketches, but he just redraws them in ink; he's clearly not one of the people who believes pencils show where ink should go.) Chris appears to enjoy coloring more than getting the character's shape and details right. Apparently, filling paper with flat shades is so ''tough'' and ''takes such an awfully long time'' that there's just no ''time'' to draw details...<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Hand Drawn Original<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vnqnUBQ9r24}}<br />
| stardate = 4 [[August 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Comics|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}<br />
| previous = [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff#Video|Exposing Jeff]]<br />
| next = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_4#Watch|The Touch]]<br />
}} <br />
{{quote|I'm sorry Kacey, but, y'know, you fell in love with Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of CWCville... It's mine. Originally mine. I'm the guy.}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
Good evening, but between this and the, uh, oh, and the other clips I would like to present you, uh, a few examples of [[Chris and English|hand]] [[Bob Chandler|artery]].<br />
<br />
Anyway the first portion is live so let me just... see if we can... get that... set up here....<br />
<br />
Huh, well, will you look at that. Anyway, see my hand, see my hand, okay. So let's just see how we draw Sonichu here. As we have been doing the whole time, ever since 2000.<br />
<br />
[''mumbles while putting hair between Sonichu's mouthpiece''] First we just do this an' that....<br />
<br />
[''draws ears''] Ear there...<br />
<br />
[''lowers pen down''] So as I just draw these things there, [''draws an oval''] give him a masculine chest. Aah, I messed up on that one, oh, well, [[Chris and art#Drawing techniques|I'll work with it.]]<br />
<br />
[''draws Sonichu's right hand''] A lil' thumbs-up there...<br />
<br />
[''draws Sonichu's left hand''] Put up that there, the old [[CChanSonichuCWC|brown stripes]]. [''begins to draw the tail''] And get that there, the old tail...<br />
<br />
[''draws the legs and his left shoe''] Put those shoes on.<br />
<br />
[''draws his right shoe''] Give him a little, "lift-up-the-foot" look there. <br />
<br />
Put a little C-In-A-Circle and my John Hancock. And.. Let's just give him a little drop shadow underneath.<br />
<br />
[''drops pen''] Now we break out the, uhh, markers. Mmmm, color in the old mouth with the [[Chris and race|flesh color]].<ref>Crayola's current "peach" color was first released as "flesh", but was changed to its current name in 1962 to reflect racial sensitivity. Clearly Chris has not heard this news.</ref> [''Drops the marker and shows a Crayola Super Washable Markers bag''] Crayola rocks! [''[[sigh]]''] Color his arms... And his belly... Belly and chest. Whatever you wanna go. Whichever you wanna call it. Yeah. It's sticking out, I'll put that back later.<br />
<br />
Okay, uh, regular yellow, oh I forgot the eyebrows. There you go, look at that. Makes him look smart, he's slick, slick character, yes.<br />
<br />
Uh, just hurry up to the coloring. Oh, I didn't close the hand. There you go. I could've done a little better on this, but I'm pressed for time. But it basically, definitively looks like, uhh... Yeah. It's my, it's my style, my hand drawing, it's uncopyable.<br />
<br />
Mmm... Give him his little red cheeks. Lime green soulful eyes. Good shade of brown in the old stripes and the edge of the bottom portion of the tail. His shoes there. Battery blue, favorite shade, Sonichu sneakers [inaudible singing].<br />
<br />
And we will, huh, accentuate the blackness on the tips of his ears, his nose and, uhh, where that's gray? Ah, here it is. Make his so—make his sneaker soles... shades of gray. Oh, and while I make this up and about, lemme, huh, make a switcheroo around here. Actually, now let's do a one more thing... [''begins to write next to Sonichu''] Art and care for [''in a high pitch''] [[Kacey]]! And now for the old switcheroo let's, uhh, close this up here. [''Closes the sketchpad'']<br />
<br />
And put in the hand drawn pages of...—look. Number Zero! Just lemme rehandle this a bit. The old history of the hand drawn. Print these out, you get blank edges. Unedited as it really was before I scanned them and type the text into them. Oh that's a good page, very good page. Uhh, yeah, this is kinda like the introduction of ''[[Excel-Saga]]'' back in Episode Two.. of ''Excel-Saga''. So, anyway... [''begins to poorly sing the opening theme of'' Excel-Saga]. Mmmm, [''looking at Sonichu and Rosechu kiss from issue 0''] Kissy, kissy! Yum! You know you can pause at any time, I'm just going a little quickly because I don't want to kill over 10 minutes with this. [''IBA then takes away the book''] Anyway, done there. [''loww contrast footage, like in his [[For Kacey from CWC|previous video]]''] Oops! There goes the creation, there ''goes'' the creation. Oh, well.<br />
<br />
Anyway, hmmm.... Anyway, I would like to shout out to Kacey, I care about you very much, your feelings mean a lot to me. You mean a lot—[''camera cuts to a well lit room with Ian's horrible features in front of it''] I'm sorry, Kacey, but I'm afraid that, uhh, [''removes his glasses''] I tried to ease you into the subject, but, unfortunately, I could not do that. I just had to give it to you straight, as my friend ma—made me realize when I talked to her, earlier tonight, in addition to you. I'm sorry Kacey, but, y'know, you fell in love with Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of CWCville... It's mine. [''picks up a scrapbook from behind him''] Originally mine. I'm the guy. March 17th, 2000, in front of Miss Naelie Chalifoux's classroom at Manchester High. [''opens the book and pulls out his recently drawn art''] Freshly drawn. You saw it from [puts down the drawing, then shows his [[Amnyfest Ring]]] my own hand. [''puts down the book again''] Daa—I'm, I'm the artist.<br />
<br />
But anyway, as to further elaborate, the impostor's real name is Jeff. I know this because—[''cut'']—I learned his name was Jeff from a D-a-n-t-o-p-u-l-t-i-s@yahoo.com [''cut''] and also if you take a good look, and also if you take a good look, also if you ever see him in person, look at his ident—look at his ID you know that it's fake. Ask him to hand it to you personally; it's fake. I can hand you mine, anytime. It's real, as well as my—as well as my diplomas and my degrees; they're right here, in my room, right here. [''makes some hand gestures''] In these four walls, that have—that Sonichu, and Rosechu and the world of CWCville have evolved from. I'm sorry, Kacey, I didn't mean—if I hurt you—if I hurt you, I'm sorry. But I had—I ha—I wanted to make sure you knew the truth. You had to know. You have been dating and having relations with [creepy stare] the impostor. His name is Jeff. I'm sorry. But I care about you. I do. Just like you have been talking to me for the past two nights. Regato—[''cut''] <br />
<br />
But, yeah, I recommend that you confront Geoffrey. [''sigh''] I'll leave it up to you, [[Kacey]]. Be safe. Stay strong. Take your time. I care about you. As I cared about all my other gal pals in my life. From [[Megan Schroeder]], to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], Miranda, Sarah, [[Kellie Andes|Kellie]], even all the ones I met on the internet: my Australian [[gal pal]] Sarah Cassandra Mackenzie/[[PandaHalo]], died in that bushfire, and [[Sarah Jackson]], died in the automobile accident, and Ivy only recently. I had to go listen to my father's meathead theories. I leave it up to you. I care. <br />
==Notes==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]|nextlink=[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]|}}<br />
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}<br />
{{Sweetheart Videos}} <br />
<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-04]]<br />
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-04]]</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Barbaracles&diff=170881
User:Barbaracles
2014-05-21T04:56:13Z
<p>Barbaracles: Created page with "{{OrderOfSonichu|large}} {{userbox |box-border-col= #000 |box-bg-col= #3379be |id-bg-col= #6666FF |id-border-col= #3379be |info-col= #000 |info-bg-col= #6a9bc3 |info-border-co..."</p>
<hr />
<div>{{OrderOfSonichu|large}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #000<br />
|box-bg-col= #3379be<br />
|id-bg-col= #6666FF<br />
|id-border-col= #3379be<br />
|info-col= #000<br />
|info-bg-col= #6a9bc3<br />
|info-border-col = #3379be<br />
|id= [[Image:Desi icon.png|60px|Desi Chandler]]<br />
|info= '''Desi'''<br/>This user thinks [[Chandler_Cats#Desi_Chandler|Desi]] is the best Chandler cat! :3}}<noinclude>[[Category:Userboxes|{{PAGENAME}}]][[Category:Chandler Cats userboxes]]</noinclude><br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #0000FF<br />
|box-bg-col= #D9FFFB<br />
|id-bg-col= #D9FFFB<br />
|id-border-col= #D9FFFB<br />
|info-col= #0000FF<br />
|info-bg-col= #89CFF0<br />
|info-border-col = #89CFF0<br />
|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]<br />
|info= '''DANG, DIRTY CISGENDER'''<br/>This user is a DANG, DIRTY, CISGENDERED [[JERKS|JERK.]]}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #000<br />
|box-bg-col= #006600<br />
|id-bg-col= #000<br />
|id-border-col= #000000<br />
|info-col= #DB4444<br />
|info-bg-col= #009900<br />
|info-border-col = #000000<br />
|id= [[File:2008ChrisSummary.PNG|50px|2008]]<br />
|info= ''Misses Old Chris''<br/>This user misses Chris's shenanigans from before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], and never wanted it to get this depressing}}<br />
{{GrammarNazi}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #000<br />
|box-bg-col= #fff<br />
|id-bg-col= #fff<br />
|id-border-col= #fff<br />
|info-col= #000<br />
|info-bg-col= #fff<br />
|info-border-col = #fff<br />
|id= [[Image:PS3 icon.png|50px|PS3]]<br />
|info= '''[[PS3]]'''<br/>This user is in possession of a [[PS3|life upgrade]], and treats it with the respect it deserves - [[The MovingFoward videos|unlike Chris]].}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #999999<br />
|box-bg-col= #F1EBEB<br />
|id-bg-col= #F1EBEB<br />
|id-border-col= #F1EBEB<br />
|info-col= #999999<br />
|info-bg-col= #F1EBEB<br />
|info-border-col = #F1EBEB<br />
|id= [[Image:Wii icon.png|50px|Wii]]<br />
|info= '''[[Wii|<font color="#24C0EB">Wii</font>]]'''<br/>This user owns a Wii, complete with a [[Wii Remote of Fail|<font color="#24C0EB">magic wand</font>]], and would do anything to get into [[Shigeru Miyamoto|<font color="#24C0EB">Shigeru Miyamoto</font>]]'s pants.}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #BB133E<br />
|box-bg-col= #002664<br />
|id-bg-col= #193b73<br />
|id-border-col= #002664<br />
|info-col= #fff<br />
|info-bg-col= #345284<br />
|info-border-col = #002664<br />
|id= [[Image:American flag.png|55px|American Flag]]<br />
|info= '''Americunt''': This user is an Americunt and refuses to use unnecessary vowels. Uncle Sam would be proud!}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #FFFF00<br />
|box-bg-col= #fff<br />
|id-bg-col= #fff<br />
|id-border-col= #fff<br />
|info-col= #00FF00<br />
|info-bg-col= #fff<br />
|info-border-col = #fff<br />
|id= [[Image:Christian cross.svg.png|40px|Christian cross]]<br />
|info= '''Christian'''<br/>This user is a [[Chris_and_religion|Christian]] and has accepted [[GodJesus]] as his/her savior.}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #004F00<br />
|box-bg-col= #9BCD9B<br />
|id-bg-col= #9BCD9B<br />
|id-border-col= #9BCD9B<br />
|info-col= #000<br />
|info-bg-col= #9BCD9B<br />
|info-border-col = #9BCD9B<br />
|id= [[Image:Jerk.png|50px|Straight]]<br />
|info= '''[[jerk|STRAIGHT]]'''<br/>This user is [[jerks|STRAIGHT]]. {{#ifeq:{{{1}}}|male|and likes [[dyke]]s & [[china]].|}}{{#ifeq:{{{1}}}|female|and likes [[pickle|pickles]] & [[Sonichu Balls|balls]].|}}{{#if:{{{1|}}}||The men like [[dyke]]s and [[china]] while the women like [[pickle|pickles]] & [[Sonichu Balls|balls]].}} Unlike Chris, they don't mind [[homo|da homos]].}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #FF8000<br />
|box-bg-col= #FFFFFF<br />
|id-bg-col= #FFFFFF<br />
|id-border-col= #FFFFFF<br />
|info-col= #FF8000<br />
|info-bg-col= #D2FFFF<br />
|info-border-col = #FFFFFF<br />
|id= [[Image:Vivi profile posthalloween by viviG.png|60px|Vivian]]<br />
|info= '''Vivian Gee'''<br/>This user applauds [[Vivian Gee]] for actually making [[Audiobooks|something funny]] out of ''Sonichu''.}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #0000FF<br />
|box-bg-col= #FFFF00<br />
|id-bg-col= #FFFF00<br />
|id-border-col= #FFFF00<br />
|info-col= #0000FF<br />
|info-bg-col= #FFFF00<br />
|info-border-col = #FFFF00<br />
|id= [[Image:Pedoforktemplate.JPG|50px|BLANK]]<br />
|info= '''Pedofork'''<br/>This user is not a [[Pedofork]], you dorks.}}<br />
{{userbox<br />
|box-border-col= #BF0A30<br />
|box-bg-col= #003399<br />
|id-bg-col= #003399<br />
|id-border-col= #003399<br />
|info-col= #FFF<br />
|info-bg-col= #003399<br />
|info-border-col = #003399<br />
|id= [[Image:SquirtleMoonpalsface.PNG|50px|Squirtle]]<br />
|info= '''Yawning Squirtle'''<br/>This user is a bonafide Squirtle, and as such is very fond of hash and the motherfucking moon.}}</div>
Barbaracles
https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=United_States_of_America&diff=170811
United States of America
2014-05-16T03:59:27Z
<p>Barbaracles: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Quote|"Hail thee, to the president, by gah ... her 'tis of thee..."<br><br />
Okay, [[Honor roll|I don't know the words]], but I am being patriotic here!|Chris<ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref>}}<br />
[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|Christian's primary thoughts on the USA]]<br />
<br />
[[Chris]] is a citizen of the '''United States of America''', a federal constitutional republic in North America. The nation is considered the only remaining superpower since the end of the Cold War, and is a leading economic, political and cultural force in the world.<br />
<br />
Chris's stance on the nation he lives in is inconsistent at best. While he claims to be a good citizen who loves and respects his country, his [[Twin Falling Towers|actions]] [[Calling Out|are]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|often]] [[Chris and the Law|very]] [[Monthly tugboat|obviously]] contrary to these claims. <br />
<br />
==Politics==<br />
[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|Christian's DEEPER thoughts on the USA]]<br />
<br />
At a glance, Chris's sense of politics seem very inconsistent; on some issues, he takes a very [[Wikipedia:Conservatism in the United States|conservative]] stance, on others a very [[Wikipedia:Liberalism in the United States|liberal]] one. While many people have an independent or bipartisan opinion, one has to realize the true nature of Chris's decision-making: that Chris doesn't favor what's good for the working class, or America, or the world, but rather what's good for Chris. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates da [[homos]], and supported [[Barack Obama]] because he "saw himself in him".<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref><br />
<br />
Another political insight is the vague statement "I agree with gun control.",<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> despite Chris's numerous [[death threats]] and [[Sonichu Special 4|vigilante plans]] that would require a firearm. Soon after, he clarified that he supports abortion,<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> undoubtedly to show his appreciation for [[women's rights]].<br />
<br />
Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate."<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe]]</ref> While typically this simply means not having extreme or overly partisan political beliefs, he takes this as a general-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues ''every'' voter should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion'', though he did vote for [[Obama]] in 2008.<br />
<br />
{{Quote|I disagree with more of the [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (US)|Republican]]'s views than the [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrats]]. As for [[Wikipedia:Iraq War troop surge of 2007|the troop surge]], I don't really care much for war, especially if it's [[Death threats|over some petty disagreement]], but regardless of the surge's success or failure, [[Chris and English|I feel at least half of the sent troops should not be pulled back to stand their ground]].|Chris, [[Mailbag 15#Everything in moderation|Mailbag 15]]}}<br />
<br />
Chris doesn't react well in situations where he absolutely has to make a choice ([[Julie]] or [[PSN]]? A question for the ages!<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>), and seems easily persuaded on matters that he doesn't really have a stake on. As a result, he often comes across as a weathervane, just repeating whatever opinion has most recently lodged itself in his head. His changing opinion about Obama is a good example of this, as he has echoed the sentiments from [[Bob|his father]], a documentary, and then from his father again, adopting a positive and negative stance based on what he hears; he never really stops to make a summary and decide what points really matter.<br />
<br />
==Understanding of government==<br />
[[File:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|thumb|What Christian's ideas actually amount to in [[Chris and reality|reality]] ]]<br />
<br />
Chris's grasp of how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] as a whole, is shaky at best. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes. However, he still thinks of himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays [[Wikipedia:Sales taxes in the United States|sales taxes]] on the massive amount of crap he buys.<br />
<br />
{{Quote|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.|Chris, being wrong.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
It's highly unlikely that Chris understands the massive discrepancy between the amount the federal government pays him and the amount he gives back via sales tax. Chris also fails to understand that sales taxes are collected by state and local governments, while his Social Security Disability check comes from the federal government.<br />
<br />
Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the majority while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. Chris, however, would like it to become a force for social engineering that would make the most rabid totalitarian shudder. When asked hypothetical questions about what he would do if he were running things, he proposes bizarre sweeping laws that single out [[Homos|certain minorities]] and force individuals into relationships whether they want to be in one or not.<br />
<br />
{{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris<ref> [[Common Questions#28 December 2009]]</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
The fact that this would not help the country at all, and would require the employment of state coercion on an level never before seen in human history, does not factor into Chris's thinking. By his logic, since he wants a [[sweetheart]], ''everybody'' must want a sweetheart, and if everybody wants a sweetheart, the government needs to make it happen.<br />
<br />
Over the years, Chris has proposed a large number of laws, even sending letters to President [[Barack Obama]] demanding legislation against [[trolls]] and [[homos]]. This is completely useless for two reasons: one, the President of the United States has much more pressing concerns than making an insane manchild in Ruckersville, VA, happy, and two, the US President ''can't make laws''. (Separation of powers and checks and balances in government are concepts Chris has no time for — [[CWCville]], after all, is a hereditary dictatorship.)<br />
<br />
Oddly, the closest analog for how Chris views his government is how Chris views his [[religion]]. He treats both the U.S. government and [[God]] as things that can be completely ignored unless he has a personal problem, at which point they should immediately step in and help. He believes that both have a deeply vested interest in himself, often at the expense of everybody else. God should damn [[Clyde Cash]], and the [[Wikipedia:FBI|FBI]] should arrest him. It doesn't matter that Clyde hasn't done anything the FBI would be terribly interested in; Chris is mad at him, and that's all that matters.<br />
<br />
== Chris on patriotism ==<br />
As established, Chris has a very [[naïve]] view of American politics and how the federal government operates. Despite these setbacks, Chris has developed a unique brand of patriotism he brings up quite often, usually either in [[Father Call|defense of his character]] or dehumanization of his [[Trolls|enemies]]. As a result, these stabs at [[Wikipedia:Jingoism|jingoism]] often feel forced or out of place. Chris has utilized this tactic in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], with the iconic "Clarksville Address":<br />
<br />
{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring [[Sweetheart]] and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|[[Sonichu]], on how insulting Chris means you hate America.<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris bastardizing the American flag with his [[Chris and fashion|favorite shirt]]]]<br />
<br />
Here, we can see the prime factor in Chris's logic. Namely, that [[Song of Christian|his problems are analogous with the problems of every American]]. Therefore, if [[ED]] satirizes him, they insult all U.S. citizens. This would become something of a recurring theme, with a later video claiming that any attack on Chris or [[CWCville|his fictional utopia]] was equivalent to mocking any 'C-ville' in America.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> On a shallower level, it's an obvious ploy for sympathy, a facade of reasonable nationalism that aims to make him the 'good guy', and by extension, [[Jason]] the 'bad guy'. Thus, patriotic symbolism is thrown in, without really even considering whether or not it makes sense in context. Chris is patriotic simply because he believes that's what will win him [[Scale of Respect|respect]] and reprieve. It goes without saying that, while constantly implying that insults to him are also insults to America, Christian insults his home country far, far more by making connections between his aberrant behavior and Americans in general. <br />
<br />
His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to [[Twin Falling Towers|mock national tragedies]] and his [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" end up having the opposite effect.<br />
<br />
However, his bumbling enthusiasm isn't reserved for the USA alone. Like many Americans, Chris has developed a fake lineage of European ancestry, starting from [[Anne Boleyn]], a Queen of England who was executed in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1536]]. This was almost instantly proven false when her ultimate descendant Queen Elizabeth I, also known as [[Virgin with rage|"The Virgin Queen"]], died in 1603, childless. Then Chris tried in vain to co-opt British, Scottish, and Irish national sentiment in his kilt-clad tirade against [[Surfshack Tito]]<ref>[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]</ref> as a means of intimidation. Also, while not a standard country per se, he also evoked his relation to the Cherokee nation in his infamous [[War Paint Video]]. Finally, Chris attempts to use the fact that February 24 is Mexico's Flag Day to justify [[Christian Love Day|turning his own birthday into a holiday]]; an ''American'' holiday no less. Note that all of these cases, Chris's total ignorance of other nations means he fails spectacularly at representing them and appearing patriotic.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Chris for President?==<br />
[[File:Idealworld.jpg|thumb|Christian's [[CWCville|promised America]] ]]<br />
<br />
In an [[October 2010]] video, Chris outlined his actions for what he would do if elected President. He declared he would [[Chris and money|cut taxes in half, build "soup hotels", give senior citizens increased funds for medications and special services]], restrict guns to law enforcement personnel only, [[homos|allow gay marriage]], and [[TrollBusters|form a special police force that focuses entirely on capturing Internet trolls.]]<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref><br />
<br />
Aside from his failure to deliver a good speech, this video also showcases his complete and utter ignorance of how government and taxes work. Building luxury hotels for the homeless<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref> and increasing social security for [[Bob|senior citizens]] would cost a fortune to do, yet he also proposes cutting taxes in half, thus also reducing the amount of money the government can spend in half. Given that Chris probably has [[Honor roll|no knowledge of economics]], he probably just assumes that money can be printed endlessly without fear of inflation.<br />
<br />
Chris's restrictions of guns to professionals only is a blatant violation of the [[Wikipedia:Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|Second Amendment]], which explains the right of American citizens to own a wide array of weaponry can never be infringed. While there are certain restrictions on who can own a gun and what types, generally differing on the state level, a flat-out ban on weapons would be found unconstitutional. Then again, Chris isn't exactly big on [[Homos|respecting]] [[Asperchu|the]] [[Megan Schroeder|rights]] [[Mailbag 31|of]] [[Niggos|others.]]<br />
<br />
His departure from his previous stance on gay marriage is surprising, but then again, he was influenced by [[Jackie]] when he made the video. Despite his decree of equal rights, he does finish up his point by imploring [[Homos|gays]] to [[Sex tape|"keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody."]] Meanwhile, straight couples can flaunt their heterosexuality to their heart's delight.<br />
<br />
While taxes, government spending, gay marriage and gun control are all big issues, Chris finishes up his video by proposing his most important change: the establishment of a special [[TrollBusters]] unit of [[Chris and the law|law enforcement]], apparently dedicated to finding trolls who make fun of people online, and incarcerating them. While a cybercrimes unit already exists for the FBI, they spend their time pursuing real criminals like [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and scam artists, not people who make fun of [[Chris|retarded cry-babies]]. <br />
<br />
The fact that Chris has complained to law enforcement previously, but not seen them do anything about it, leads Chris to believe that it must not exist; [[Chris and his Ego|otherwise they would be spending all their resources tracking down the people who make fun of him]]. The fact that Chris is willing to suspend constitutional rights and spend countless millions to incarcerate people that make fun of him is proof that Chris is neither a Republican or Democrat, capitalist or socialist, authoritarian or libertarian, liberal or conservative, communist or fascist, extremist or moderate - or really any political stripe at all. His politics truly begin and end with him alone.<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]''<br />
*[[Chris and the Law]]<br />
*[[TrollBusters]]<br />
*[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]<br />
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]<br />
*[[Sonichu 8]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Places]]</div>
Barbaracles