https://sonichu.com/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=Clockwork+Hydra&feedformat=atomCWCki - User contributions [en]2024-03-28T08:23:28ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.37.6https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Bionic_the_Hedgehog&diff=321168Bionic the Hedgehog2024-03-05T02:12:40Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Character history */</p>
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<div>:''For the short story, see [[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)]].''<br />
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" | [[File:Bion.PNG|200px]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" |Bionic the Hedgehog<br />
|-<br />
| '''Date of birth'''<br />
| 13 November [[Sonichu chronology#1986|1986]] (in universe)<br />
13 November [[1996]] (IRL)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Gender'''<br />
| Male<br />
|-<br />
| '''Length'''<br />
| 5'4" (163 cm)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Weight'''<br />
| 120 lbs (54 kg)<br />
|-<br />
| '''Species'''<br />
| Hedgehog<br />
|-<br />
| '''Parents'''<br />
| [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]]<br />
|}<br />
[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|AstcI3 conquered! Remarkable! Now he just needs to conquer cross-eyedness and his colors flowing outside of the lines!]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|Bionic the Hedgehog is [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s long-lost brother. He is a professional {{w|basketball}} star and hand with tools in mechanics. He can score over 100 baskets in a single B-Ball game.|[[:Image:287-ACBionicBck.jpg|Bionic the Hedgehog Animal Crossing card]]}}<br />
<br />
'''Bionic the Hedgehog''' (born [[Sonichu chronology#1986|13 November 1986]]<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140823175516/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>) was [[Chris]]'s first recolor, predating [[Sonichu (character)|his crowning achievement]]. Brother of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Bionic loves to play basketball.<br />
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Despite his name, Bionic is not a cyborg. He made this clear after [[Asperchu|Alec's]] version of Bionic was depicted as an actual cyborg, styled after {{w|Davros}}. His name was instead chosen as "Bionic" rhymes with "Sonic" and the "B" is for "basketball"<ref>[[Mailbag 6#Bionic's name|Mailbag 6]]</ref>.<br />
<br />
==Character history==<br />
[[Image:EarlyBionic.jpg|thumb|left|100px|An early image of Bionic, c. [[1996]]]]<br />
<br />
Chris claims to have created Bionic way back on 13 November [[1996]], when he was standing in the middle of the hallway of his [[high school]] next to the basketball courts, staring into the void like a [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]]. He claims that at the time, he was daydreaming about the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' character {{w|List of Sonic the Hedgehog characters#Mighty the Armadillo|Mighty the Armadillo}}.<ref>[[:Image:0233-CWCNote4.jpg|DVD, note 4]]</ref><br />
<br />
Standing there motionless, daydreaming about Mighty, Chris was — you guessed it — clocked in the face with a stray basketball. This, in Chris's words, "opened the lockers to his mind," and led to the creation of the recolor we know and tolerate today as the completely original character of Bionic the Hedgehog.<br />
<br />
[[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)|Bionic's backstory]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/bionic1.htm Bionic the Hedgehog. By: Christian W. Chandler]</ref> tells us that he was [[Sonic]]'s brother, and that when they were young, Bionic fell through a portal into a world filled with [[niggos|basketball players]]. Sonic, for his part, forgot all about his dim-witted sibling, and went on to be a real star. Cut to years later, when Bionic showed up to save his brother, and then go on to have other [[Chris and writing#Plot and Drama|exciting adventures.]] It's interesting to note that, unlike all of Chris's other characters, Bionic was created within the {{w|Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|SatAM}}/{{w|Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics)|Archie Comic}} universe and not the video game universe.<br />
<br />
As this was before Chris started churning out comics, Chris's very first creation Bionic was limited to only ever appearing in the occasional drawing or short story Chris thought up. Among other works, Bionic starred in the "[[Autism]] Conquered" drawing seen to the right, the rough sketch on the left, and a short [[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)|self-titled story]].<br />
<br />
Notably, Bionic used to look rather different from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], with smaller head-spines and much larger back-spines, and a tail. This different (but no less stupid) profile shape is likely not so much an act of originality as much as a simple [[Chris and art|inability to properly copy Sonic's design]]. Chris being Chris, Bionic's current iteration in ''Sonichu'' looks like the palette-swapped Sonic the Hedgehog he always was at heart.<br />
<br />
==In ''Sonichu''==<br />
Years after he was initially forgotten about and replaced by another [[Sonichu (character)|equally stupid and unoriginal recolor]], Bionic appeared in his successor's [[Sonichu (comic)|comic series]] at the end of [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], where he arrives just in time to save [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his creator]] from being murdered by his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|homosexual evil twin]] after Chris got beaten up again. Chris eventually regains consciousness after being initially knocked out and Bionic gives him the fourth [[Sonichu Ball]] that Chris was fighting Reldnahc for.<br />
<br />
In the following conversation, Chris and Bionic both make some [[Chris and reality|very meta references]] to Bionic's creation and the last time Chris drew him, though Bionic for some reason does not seem to resent being almost completely forgotten about for years on end. The conversation ends with him asking Chris to provide him with a girlfriend, (you know, since he gave Sonichu one and everything), and Chris nonchalantly decides that he's now going out with [[Megan]]'s character [[Megagi La Skunk]].<br />
<br />
[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] followed up this thread by showing Bionic and Megagi leaving to go on their second [[Dating|date]], and Chris, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Magi-Chan]] then spent the rest of the issue traveling through time to retrieve a Sonichu Ball that had been lost in the past in [[Manchester High School]]. Chris worked his and Bionic's history into this story, recreating the above mentioned basketball incident in comic form, except with the Sonichu Ball filling the role of the basketball, which Chris then took and replaced with an actual basketball to keep the timeline consistent with his memories.<br />
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In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Bionic appeared again with Megagi at the beach during the spring break special, during which time Megagi recounts a story of Bionic flirting with an anthropomorphic cat until she interfered and stopped them. Bionic says nothing and passively agrees with everything, showing that he has since lost his balls.<br />
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Bionic made a reappearance in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], describing {{w|The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air|getting into a fight at a basketball court}} with several comical attempts at "street" slang after he and [[Darkbind Sonichu|Darkbind]] save Sonichu from the trio of Reldnahc, [[Giovanni]] and [[Doctor Robotnik|Robotnik]], who had kidnapped his girlfriend [[Rosechu]].<br />
<br />
For some reason, Bionic didn't appear again until much later into [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he made a brief cameo complaining about his depiction in ''[[Asperchu]]''. He made a second cameo later in the issue, being one of the characters to execute [[Alec Benson Leary]] via ten-button electric chair, loudly proclaiming "I am not a robot!" as he did.<br />
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After being forgotten for seven years, Bionic appears in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] with his girlfriend [[Megagi La Skunk]] attending the Cwcville SLGBTQ Pride festival.<br />
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==Gallery==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:0233-CWCNote4.jpg|Genesis of Bionic<br />
Image:BionicIRL.png|Bionic played for the Cavaliers in the 96-97 NBA season<br />
Image:Page85.jpg|Is Bionic really...?<br />
Image:Page85withthefreshprince.jpg|{{w|That's better!}}<br />
Image:288-YuBionic.jpg|Like everything else Chris ever made, Bionic has a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card.<br />
Image:ModNation Bionic.jpg|As he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{Fan art}}<br />
*[[Megagi La Skunk]]<br />
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]<br />
*[[Sonichu]]<br />
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog (short story)]]<br />
*[[Manchester High School]]<br />
<br />
{{HighSchoolSaga}}<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]<br />
[[Category:High School Saga]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=317326Weening2023-12-06T00:24:22Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Examples of weening */</p>
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<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting [[BlueSpike|a ween]] attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200226105210/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
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[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens''' (not to be confused with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ween the alternative rock band]). A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[File:MeanKeanWeenSecondComing.png|thumb|As foreseen, an [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|unclean, less keen ween]] seen bein' like the mean Peen. Obscene, hygiene like a latrine... and most likely a tween.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and [[CWCville|where it takes place]] as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/49854/post-11683809 Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.]<br />
* [https://reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/10k8nj3/chris_chan_porn_video_gofundme/ Funding a pornographic film about Chris.]<br />
* [[:File:9zkfdgibmrxa1.png|Leaving one-star reviews on places Chris has visited because Chris visited them.]]<br />
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/15oqgk7/christine_can_still_become_rich_and_live_a/ Suggesting Chris should start an OnlyFans.]<br />
* Making fake obituaries stating [[Barb]] or any other Christorical figures have died.<br />
* [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II|Chasing down Chris and trying to shove a camera in his face after seeing him in public.]]<br />
* Bringing up [[Affair with Mother|Chris' affair with Barb]] during his livestreams, especially when it has nothing to do with the topic(s). This has already dated to the level of the aforementioned ancient memes.<br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community through donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, making and sending him badly-made parody comics, or trying to re-hash the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid Chris Saga]] is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are (and always will be) much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame,<ref group=note>This idea worked once in the right circumstances, there's no need to repeat it now, where Chris believes he's a goddess and a reincarnate of Jesus.</ref> or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included terrible homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[pickle|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention now more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=The_Bad_Beginning&diff=316014The Bad Beginning2023-11-09T04:49:05Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Badbeginningscreenshot.jpg|thumb|250px|The Idea Guys manipulate Chris into apologizing for [[Pedofork|actions he did not commit]].]]<br />
<br />
'''The Bad Beginning''' is the name given to a nine-hour [[Discord]] chat log, which occurred between Chris, [[Idea Guys|Joshua Wise and Stephen Boyd]] from [[April 2018|8 April to 9 April 2018]]. While this is not the first contact between Chris and the Idea Guys, the chat log is given this name — believed to be a reference to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bad_Beginning the first book] from Daniel Handler's ''A Series Of Unfortunate Events'' — due to being the first discussion the [[Guard Dogs]] were able to archive. It is also a foundation for the worst of their psychological manipulations of Chris. The chat log was later leaked by Guard Dog [[Null]] to [[Kiwi Farms]] on 19 July 2018.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-bad-beginning.45651</ref><br />
<br />
The log, as archived by the Guard Dogs, uses the full names of the Idea Guys; for the CWCki, it is modified in order to refer to the characters they were role-playing as.<br />
<br />
==Highlights==<br />
*Having previously manipulated Chris into believing that he is a [[Pedofork|pedophile]], the Idea Guys threaten to expose Chris if he doesn't pay them $20,000.<br />
*Wise role plays as ''Symphogear'' character [https://symphogear.wikia.com/wiki/Fin%C3%A9 Finé], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Cryzel]], and ''Sword Art Online'' character Pitohui; and Boyd as Gwen.<br />
*Chris uploads a photo of a [[Pickle|pickle]] he graffitied on his bedroom wall. Six days later, he would upload a [[Dick Licker; that is I|video of him licking said wall]].<br />
*Chris shows [[Barb]] his defaced wall, which leaves her "shocked and offended."<br />
*Chris uploads a drawing of characters mid-orgy.<br />
*Chris goes into great detail regarding the [[Chris and the law|laws]] of [[CWCville]].<br />
*Chris uploads [[Chris apologizes to Gwen]].<br />
<br />
==Videos==<br />
*[[Chris apologizes to Gwen]]<br />
*[[Chris slaps himself]]<br />
<br />
==Chat log==<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:34:59 <Christine>'''</font> Ha. I was not expecting to be here.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:35:43 <Christine>'''</font> I’m drawing right now. Is there anything else to talk about now?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 20:35:52 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You owe me twenty thousand dollars.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:45:52 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Chris<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:46:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You’re talking to the TV<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:46:35 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Also, didn’t Sonichu go back in time to be old enough to have sex?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:46:46 <Christine>'''</font> No<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:47:12 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Besides, Sonichu is mayor *now*.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:47:29 <Christine>'''</font> No, he is not.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:47:44 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> He launched a coup last night.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:47:55 <Christine>'''</font> Well, my work resumes.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:48:04 <Christine>'''</font> Please, Excuse me.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:48:08 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:48:21 <Christine>'''</font> I’m drawing<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:48:25 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:48:47 <Christine>'''</font> I’m working on my pages and things; I have been at it all day.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:49:02 <Christine>'''</font> Please, excuse me.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:49:15 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Doing retcons?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:49:37 <Christine>'''</font> You may say that.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:49:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Tell me<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:50:11 <Christine>'''</font> I am in the middle of my work; I can’t fully talk about it yet, nothing whatsoever.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 20:52:05 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Either you tell us or I send MY nuke.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:57:05 <Christine>'''</font> Ah, the sounds of a thing happening. A Law That can’t Ever be Overturned or Abolished by Anyone. Very well, Professor, here’s an example of one of the things I’ve written today.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:57:42 <Christine>'''</font> [[File:Ideaguylaw1.jpg|200px]]<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:57:48 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Just tell us.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:57:59 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Nobody wants to read that wall of eyebleed.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:58:01 <Christine>'''</font> [[File:Ideaguylaw2.jpg|200px]]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:58:27 <Christine>'''</font> Y’all have to, it’s the preserved Law.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:58:35 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> All those laws are null and void.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:58:39 <Christine>'''</font> Nope<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:58:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Sonichu overturned them.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:58:48 <Christine>'''</font> He is unable to.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:58:58 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> and you forget, Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/08 20:59:00 <Christine>'''</font> He has no legal authority over me<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 20:59:13 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I have your town at my heels.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:00:12 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> So what happens if Gwen issues a threat?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:00:13 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Chris Sonichu killed the last mayor<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:00:16 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You can't stop her.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:00:20 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm issuing one right now<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:00:29 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm going to erase this fucking dimension<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:00:35 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Hold on<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:00:37 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:00:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Wait for me >.<<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:00:47 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm going to get on my forklift and DRIVE MY NUKE INTO IT.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:02:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Hello, Gwen. Do you recognize me? It is fine if you do not.-Finé<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:03:00 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I do not.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:04:07 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You knew me as *Dr. Ryoko Sakurai* from school.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:04:38 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Doc?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:04:43 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Aw shit how're you doc<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:04:56 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Wanna erase that dimension for the greater good?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:05:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I was awakened from my slumber.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:05:20 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I have been dead for less than a year, so I might want to do that.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:05:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Actually<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:05:56 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Do you still have that relic in your possession?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:06:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The one I gave you in 2002?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:06:49 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> The bone?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:06:51 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Yeah<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:07:49 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I want to destroy the moon.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:08:44 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> If my calculations are correct, it should hit Cwcville first, and then the curse on humanity shall be lifted.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:08:49 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Can we go from you destroying the moon to the ENTIRE dimension?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/08 21:08:53 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Humanity is fucked there.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/08 21:09:20 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> It was chaotic even when I was alive a century ago.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:27:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I have opened a few new chats, but Noire of Lastation has made an announcement.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:28:35 <Christine>'''</font> Do Not Destroy A Thing!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:28:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> So, Christine Weston Chandler, I take it?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:28:47 <Christine>'''</font> Yes<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:28:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Yes, I knew of your ancestors.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:29:01 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I knew them personally, actually.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:29:33 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> They begged me to ask God to have them forgiven for their sins.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:30:23 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> They were much like you, actually.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:30:27 <Christine>'''</font> Well, the ones I want forgiving me of my sins are the CPUs.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:30:40 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> They have abandoned you after what you have pulled.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:30:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> In fact<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:30:51 <Christine>'''</font> I’ve made my mistakes<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:31:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> There is a debate on this server that will start in a matter of time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:31:19 <Christine>'''</font> You will NOT Destroy the Dimension.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:31:40 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I would like to tell you something, just because I can.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:31:48 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Has Graduon ever mentioned me?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:31:58 <Christine>'''</font> No<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:32:06 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I shall tell you now then.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:32:16 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> It was not a Frenchman who cursed Graduon.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:32:21 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> It was I,<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:32:22 <Christine>'''</font> It was you?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:32:24 <Christine>'''</font> Yup<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:32:25 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:32:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You see Christine, I am much older than Graduon, and far more wiser than him.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:33:03 <Christine>'''</font> And as much bitter over too many reincarnations.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:33:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Enjoy it, boy, for I shall outlive you and your rodent family.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:34:04 <Christine>'''</font> Not if you die in your current body before then.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:34:05 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> No matter how many times I die, somebody somewhere will pick up where I left off.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:34:29 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You know I have been dead for half a year?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:34:54 <Christine>'''</font> That don’t impress me much<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:35:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> That was a terrible song.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:35:17 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Good thing the woman who wrote it met a slow, painful end.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:36:33 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I am back, and I am ready to further my work.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:37:44 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I also would like you to know one other thing.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:37:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The other half of the Anchuent prophecy.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:38:15 <Christine>'''</font> What about it?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:38:23 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I have it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:38:32 <Christine>'''</font> Huh.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:38:39 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You see, Christine.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:38:47 <Christine>'''</font> Moot point if you destroy the dimension<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:38:51 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> *I wrote* the prophecy.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:39:26 <Christine>'''</font> You’re no Grand Elder.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:39:40 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Grand elder? They aren't real.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:39:48 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> It was all me.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:40:30 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> *Anchuent* isn't even a real word!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:40:38 <Christine>'''</font> So?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:40:57 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> It is a word I made up just because I knew some ignorant fool would read it some day.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:42:07 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I wrote your prized prophecy.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:42:15 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> How did I know Sonichu would exist?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:42:30 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Because he is a byproduct of my research a century ago.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:44:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> All you managed to find were my leftover notes after that laboratory was destroyed in a failed accident that nearly killed me generations prior. Those things you see in your visions of this race you thought you cleverly made up?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:44:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font><br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:44:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> *MY HANDIWORK*<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:48:38 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Well, what say you to this, <@429821319643660290> ? [Notifying Chris]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:49:53 <Christine>'''</font> I made a good find. I still chronicle it.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:50:09 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> So you admit to having stolen from me?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:50:23 <Christine>'''</font> I do not admit to stealing from you.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:50:39 <Christine>'''</font> You are trying to make a fool out of me<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:50:47 <Christine>'''</font> I am still not impressed with you.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:51:08 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I am not looking for your feeble mortal mind to be impressed.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:51:41 <Christine>'''</font> You will never succeed in your plan with the moon<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:51:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You steal from others because you have not had one original thought in that greasy head of yours.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:52:25 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Everything you come up with heavily takes from others hard labor.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:52:34 <Christine>'''</font> So?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:52:57 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You want the world handed to you on a platter for your pitiful efforts.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:53:07 <Christine>'''</font> Still Mine and My Family and Species.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:53:26 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Technically speaking, you belong to me.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:53:34 <Christine>'''</font> You’re not Unicron<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:53:50 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> No, I drove them to extinction.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:54:01 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> So neither are you.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:54:18 <Christine>'''</font> I’m not a planet eater<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:54:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I created your species as a source of cheap power.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:55:17 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Unfortunately, I left your batch in the tubes too long.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:55:29 <Christine>'''</font> We are Not Cheap, you twat.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:56:37 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I created you all as a step towards human evolution, and all I got were autistic rats that can't stop humping things with their broken penises.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:56:53 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You and your species should have stayed buried in that cave.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:57:11 <Christine>'''</font> We aren’t staying down!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:57:13 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> and now I shall return you all to the ashes you were born from.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:57:22 <Christine>'''</font> And you’re going down.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:57:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Just so you know?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:58:18 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The last guy who said that shot me with a handgun carrying the same caliber as that P38 handgun you liked so much in your comics.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:58:28 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> It flattened against my skin.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:59:11 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I can also control those monsters(called the Noise) that disintegrated half your species in one night.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 0:59:48 <Christine>'''</font> You Fiend! You won’t get away with this!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 0:59:57 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> How will you stop me, mortal?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:00:29 <Christine>'''</font> We will stop you.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:00:34 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> How?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:01:15 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I can sense it now.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:01:31 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You're thinking of ways to draw me in a humiliating situation.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:01:47 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Something to make me give up my evil against your nation.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:01:58 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I should warn you though.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:02:05 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I am a nudist, and have no shame.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:05:05 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Do you feel that, Christine?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:05:29 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The ground giving out beneath your precious city hall?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:08:07 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> This tower of babel, the Kadingir, is filled with enough power to destroy the moon.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:08:07 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> [[File:Discord3.jpg|200px]]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:10:10 <Christine>'''</font> You think Nudity is going to scare me away?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:10:31 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Oh no, I was telling you that if you tried to draw images against me, they would not work.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:10:36 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Wait<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:10:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I have a weapon capable of blowing up the moon, and *nudity* is your first concern?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:11:10 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Wow, you really are a perverted man.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:11:20 <Christine>'''</font> You started the trend.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:11:35 <Christine>'''</font> You think Your Weapon is so big?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:11:43 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I was going to let you have some last words, but okay.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:11:52 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Yes, I do.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:12:04 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> It's far larger than anything you could afford to live in.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:12:10 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> but no matter.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:12:17 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I'm ready to take out the moon.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:12:24 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> <@272783957752283137> [Notifying Gwen (Boyd)]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:12:27 <Christine>'''</font> That thing is so small, it would fit inside my urethtra with room to spare!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:12:28 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Are you watching?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:12:33 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I....what?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:12:41 <Christine>'''</font> You heard me!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:12:41 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:12:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> yeah but<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:12:52 <Christine>'''</font> Your weapon is not so big<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:13:04 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Was that....what are you even trying to do?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:13:08 <Christine>'''</font> It’s microscopic<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:13:14 <Christine>'''</font> You’ve got nothihg<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:13:21 <Christine>'''</font> That thing could not even cut butter<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:13:24 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> *Fires at the moon*<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:13:41 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> *The moon starts to fracture*<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:13:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You were saying?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:14:15 <Christine>'''</font> You only got a small chip off of my shoulder<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:14:31 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Any last words? You do realize I have started the apocalypse, right?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:15:13 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Those chunks of the cursed seal of mankind have to land somewhere, and it will all start hitting Cwcville in a matter of thirty minutes.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:15:16 <Christine>'''</font> I’ve gave Twilight the heads-up; Luna won’t stand for your misdeeds<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:15:31 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You know they ignore you, right?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:15:40 <Christine>'''</font> I have faith<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:16:01 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The Equestrians labeled you as a sex offender and banned you from entering.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:16:54 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> So Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:17:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Twenty eight minutes left.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:17:11 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Looks like the weather is already starting to change.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:17:43 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Can I just nuke it<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:18:12 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> No no, I wish to see how these rats scurry about as they grow seconds closer to annihilation.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:18:36 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Well, Chris?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:19:04 <Christine>'''</font> I’m standing to protect my Nation, My City, My Family!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:20:13 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Really?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:20:18 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I don't see-OH WAIT<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:20:27 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> There you are, cowering in the corner crying.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:20:44 <Christine>'''</font> That’s only what you think.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:20:48 <Christine>'''</font> That’s a decoy<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:20:50 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Are you...hugging a Twilight figure?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:21:00 <Wise [as Magi-Chan]>'''</font> GODDAMMIT CHRISTINE!!!-Magi-chan<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:21:15 <Wise [as Magi-Chan]>'''</font> WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE AND YOU'RE CRYING IN THE CORNER!!!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:21:24 <Christine>'''</font> I’m not crying in the corner!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:21:34 <Wise [as Magi-Chan]>'''</font> HELP US, DAMMIT!!!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:21:38 <Christine>'''</font> I’m trying to project and protect<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:21:47 <Christine>'''</font> I’m trying to send out a protective aura<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:21:51 <Wise [as Magi-Chan]>'''</font> STOP HUMPING THAT TWILIGHT PLUSHIE!!!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:21:52 <Christine>'''</font> And shield over the nation<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:21:59 <Christine>'''</font> I’m Not humping anything<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:22:05 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Auras are't real exceptional individual.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:22:12 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> *yawns*<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:22:15 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Can I fucking nuke it.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:22:24 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Gwen, just watch.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:22:31 <Christine>'''</font> Tell me what to do, Hubby!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:22:34 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> This is like watching a skit on television.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:22:43 <Christine>'''</font> What can I do from here?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:22:49 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I met Charlie Chaplain once.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:22:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Nice man, real silent too.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:22:56 <Christine>'''</font> With my freaking projection still mismatched<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:23:05 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Your projection isn't just mismatched<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:23:07 <Christine>'''</font> Magi-Chan!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:23:09 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> it's showing the truth.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:23:25 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You know why your projection isn't obeying your commands, rodent?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:23:57 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Because you try to disobey my will.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:24:14 <Christine>'''</font> We are not your damn puppets!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:24:34 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You are.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:24:49 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I'm pretty entertained watching as you trample over Roberta.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:26:21 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Oh now what are you doing???<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:26:43 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Looks like eatin feces and crying.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:27:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> In a normal situation, I would brew some tea an watch the show.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:28:08 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Or if this were back in the days I was a pirate, rum.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:28:19 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Good times.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:28:19 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> [[File:Fine pirate.jpg|200px]]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:30:57 <Christine>'''</font> I’m Hugging My City and Nation, and Protecting it with all of mine and my people’s’ souls!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:31:10 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> What?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:31:21 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> OH!!!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:31:37 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Roberta was crushed by a chunk of the moon!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:32:00 <Christine>'''</font> I will not fall! Cwcville Shall Stand!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:32:18 <Christine>'''</font> I am really focused!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:32:26 <Christine>'''</font> You will not win, Finé!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:32:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Really? Because it looks exactly like I'm winning.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:32:53 <Christine>'''</font> That is your perception.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:33:02 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Half your Sonichus ran away.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:33:04 <Christine>'''</font> Mine it says I’m still standing with Everyone!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:33:20 <Wise [as Magi-Chan]>'''</font> GODDAMMIT!!!-Magi-chan<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:33:27 <Wise [as Magi-Chan]>'''</font> HALF OUR FAMILY IS RUNNING AWAY!!!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:33:44 <Christine>'''</font> Well, what do you suggest, Magi-Chan!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:34:00 <Christine>'''</font> I’m staying to protect our Nation.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:34:10 <Christine>'''</font> I’m no coward!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:34:36 <Christine>'''</font> I have our Cwcville Map on my chest, with all of my Might!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:34:55 <Christine>'''</font> I will stand and protect this Nation!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:35:03 <Christine>'''</font> We will Not Fall, Hubby!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:35:04 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Gwen, I need music for this.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:35:21 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I'm feeling awfully young tonight, so maybe something from our school days?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:35:34 <Christine>'''</font> I Have Faith!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:35:38 <Christine>'''</font> I Have Hope!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:35:45 <Christine>'''</font> I Have Heart!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:35:49 <Christine>'''</font> I Have Soul!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:35:58 <Christine>'''</font> I Have Love!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:36:17 <Christine>'''</font> I Am the Soldier Of Love and Honesty!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:36:20 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Hrm<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:36:28 <Christine>'''</font> I Am Chris Chan Sonichu!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:36:36 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No Christine<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:36:47 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You're the Soldier of Sloth and Gluttony.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:37:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Gwen, some music~?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:37:00 <Christine>'''</font> I am the Soldier of Love and Honesty!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:37:01 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You lied for years about being a pedophile<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:37:13 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Yet I rooted around on your computer and found kiddie porn.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:37:23 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You lied about being a man<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:37:27 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Then about being a woman<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:37:34 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> All to try and get at a vagina.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:37:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Never mind, I found the right song.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:37:47 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=549hyQ7uyL4<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:37:48 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You had the GALL to threaten to rape someone.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:37:49 <Christine>'''</font> You won’t get me down!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:38:00 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You know what fuck it I'm reporting you to the FBI<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:38:03 <Christine>'''</font> I’m Still Standing In Cwcville!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:38:08 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Fuck nuking your rats Christine<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:38:17 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> *Dances to Safety dance as panic and chaos fills the streets*<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:38:20 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm giving all the evidence of YOU being a pedophile to the police.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:38:20 <Christine>'''</font> You Traitor!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:38:26 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No I'm no traitor<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:38:42 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm just done with the lies, the bullshit, and the stubbornness.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:38:42 <Christine>'''</font> You Are for working with the enemy!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:38:50 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No I'm FRIENDS with the enemy<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:38:54 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Massive difference<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:38:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I *was* her professor after all~<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:38:56 <Christine>'''</font> Exactly!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:01 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Did I destroy the moon?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:02 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:06 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Did I help destroy it?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:07 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:13 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Fine's my teacher<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:19 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You're just a sadsack I know.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:39:44 <Christine>'''</font> She is A Devil! A Monster, Gwen!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:46 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You want my loyalty I'm bought with money not art of me as a fucking headmaster.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:52 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> and she raised me.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:39:58 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I was an *orphan* Chris.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:40:08 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I don't agree with everything she does<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:40:20 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> But I'm so fucking tired of your dimension being constantly at war<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:40:25 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Make you a deal<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:40:28 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'll abandon her<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:40:37 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> *For five hundred dollars.*<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:40:48 <Christine>'''</font> I don’t Have that money, and You Know It!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:40:55 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You've got until midnight to make me ditch the woman I see as my mom.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:41:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The eighties were such fun times.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:41:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> [[File:Ryoko Infobox.png|200px]]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:41:15 <Christine>'''</font> I can’t get that money for you, Gwen.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:41:17 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> God I forgot that perm you had<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:41:29 <Christine>'''</font> You drained Me Dry with the others!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:41:32 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> With the cockatiel spikes?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:41:37 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I didn't drain shit.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:41:43 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> YOU fucked up<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:41:50 <Christine>'''</font> I Did Fuck Up<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:41:51 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> YOU threatened to rape women.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:41:56 <Christine>'''</font> I Did!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:42:01 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> YOU decided money was the best course of action<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:42:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOEJHNZpeck<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:42:18 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> *Keeps dancing as the streets get bombarded by the moon.*<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:42:24 <Christine>'''</font> Well, What that is Not Money do you want me to do?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:42:38 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Hmmmm<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:42:45 <Christine>'''</font> Do you want me to Confess to the Internet, Gwen?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:42:50 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:42:57 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I want you to go outside<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:43:02 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Somewhere populated<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:43:11 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> and just sit.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:43:25 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Think of how your abhorrent toxicity has sullied their lives.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:43:37 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> It's that or an actual million pushups.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:43:53 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No sleeping, no breaks, just working out for the next three days.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:44:13 <Christine>'''</font> I’ll go out and think about everything in public.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:44:23 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You have to do it right now<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:44:27 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> So much death on the streets.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:44:29 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> and you must remain there for a week.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:44:36 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No toilet breaks<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:44:40 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Good thing I'm dressed for the occasion.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:44:42 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No food breaks at mcdonalds.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:44:50 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> [''Image of Finé'']<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:44:51 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> No fast food garbage<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:44:56 <Christine>'''</font> I can’t be in one place for a week!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:45:00 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You sit there for a fucking week.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:45:07 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Then you pay me.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:45:13 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I don't care if it's in installments.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:45:19 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> *You owe me all.*<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:45:43 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm the reason your dimension hasn't just fucking VANISHED<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:46:07 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm the reason you're not sitting in a jail cell crying after you dropped the communal soap<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:46:07 <Christine>'''</font> I’ll commit Suicide if you let the dimension be Destroyed!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:46:14 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> The hell you will<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:46:21 <Christine>'''</font> [[Heart level|My heart will drop to Zero Percent!]]<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:46:22 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Because I'm going to tell your mother.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:46:27 <Christine>'''</font> I’ll be depressed!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:46:31 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> *I'm telling her about the porn Chris.*<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:46:33 <Christine>'''</font> I won’t do anything!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:46:39 <Christine>'''</font> I’ll be dead in a week!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:46:40 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> whoa whoa<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:46:47 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm telling her about the sheer number of child pornography items.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:46:52 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You had a chance<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:46:52 <Christine>'''</font> Good!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:46:54 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I had to stop my dancing because of a suicide threat.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:46:56 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You had multiple chances<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:47:00 <Christine>'''</font> Tell Her Everything!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:47:05 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Everything?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:47:11 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Chris, who is this lovely Rosechu here?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:47:15 <Christine>'''</font> Go Ahead!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:47:20 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Even how you stole her money to pay for the goddesses?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:47:24 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I just asked her name.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:47:27 <Christine>'''</font> Go ahead!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:47:37 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> How you stalked CHILDREN at a store to try and rape them?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:47:37 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> HEY!!!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:47:53 <Christine>'''</font> Go ahead, Gwen!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:48:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> What is this Rosechu's name?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:48:01 <Christine>'''</font> She won’t listen to you anyway.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:48:14 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> *grabs forklift and nuke*<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:48:17 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> It's CRyzel!-Cryzel<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:48:21 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Byebye CWCville.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:48:26 <Christine>'''</font> Honey!<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 1:48:34 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Shoot the damn rat Doc<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:48:40 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> YOU THREATENED SUICIDE AGAIN YOU MONSTER!!!-Cryzel<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:48:50 <Christine>'''</font> That’s My Wife! Cryzel!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:48:54 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> REAL SONICHUS DON'T BELIEVE IN SUICIDE!!!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:49:17 <Christine>'''</font> I don’t either, but I can’t live with myself with everything and everyone gone.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:49:37 <Christine>'''</font> I can’t stand being alone, Cryzel!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:49:54 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Really now~? You hear that, christine?-Finé<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:50:21 <Christine>'''</font> I made my wife cry.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:50:32 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Now Chris, there is a way to fix this.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:50:39 <Christine>'''</font> What is it?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:50:44 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> First off<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:50:49 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> no more suicide talk.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:50:59 <Christine>'''</font> Fine<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:51:22 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> It's taboo in Sonichu culture. The moment you threaten it, you're not considered a Sonichu.-Cryzel<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:51:56 <Christine>'''</font> I will never kill myself, even in depression.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:52:13 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> You said that last night, but you JUST THREATENED TO DO IT AGAIN!!!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:52:56 <Christine>'''</font> I’m Really Sorry, Cryzel. But Cwcville is on the verge of falling, and I don’t have many options.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:53:06 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> SUICIDE IS ONE OF THE<‽‽?‽<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:53:18 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> You can't just, oh I dunno, *REBUILD*‽<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:53:32 <Christine>'''</font> Is everyone evacuated, Cryzel?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:53:36 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> NO!!!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:53:51 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> YOU SAT HERE THREATENING SUICIDE!!!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:54:05 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> WHOEVER SUPPORTED YOUR LAWS NO LONGER DOES!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:54:35 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Christine, why would you threaten to hurt yourself like that?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:55:05 <Christine>'''</font> Because I felt like I was out of options. I did not know where you were either.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:55:21 <Christine>'''</font> I Tried to defend the city and Nation with my powers<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:55:29 <Christine>'''</font> But I ended up with a crying projection<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:55:43 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> So I go missing for a few minutes to take a pee, and you threaten suicide?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:56:05 <Christine>'''</font> Can I take the threat back?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:56:30 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> How do I know you won't do it again the next time Cwcville is being threatened?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:57:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> This is most entertaining. It sure beats that episode of *Dallas*.-Finé<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:57:10 <Christine>'''</font> I won’t ever again, as long as I have you by my side, Cryzel.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:57:24 <Christine>'''</font> I felt alone<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:57:31 <Christine>'''</font> When I did not know you were near<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:57:47 <Christine>'''</font> And Magi-Chan was panicking.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:57:49 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Enough.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:58:24 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You insult me, insult one of my children, and you threaten to hurt yourself over such trivial matters.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:58:48 <Christine>'''</font> You’re right.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:59:03 <Christine>'''</font> It was trivial.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:59:14 <Christine>'''</font> It is a city that can be rebuilt.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:59:21 <Christine>'''</font> But the dimension<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:59:32 <Christine>'''</font> Can an entire dimension be rebuilt?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 1:59:53 <Christine>'''</font> That was the greater risk at hand<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 1:59:59 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Chris, your whining annoys me.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:00:09 <Christine>'''</font> I’ll stop<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:00:25 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Cryzel stopped listening to you a little bit ago.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:00:37 <Christine>'''</font> Cryzel!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:00:43 <Christine>'''</font> I’m sorry, Honey!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:00:48 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> She's not dead, you idiot.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:01:16 <Christine>'''</font> Well, I’m not making another suicidal threat, and I took back this one.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:01:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Well the moon stopped falling.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:01:50 <Christine>'''</font> Huh.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:01:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I stopped it.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:02:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> and you know what?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:02:29 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I will let it crush your nation if my migraine from you gets worse.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:02:55 <Christine>'''</font> I’m not saying anything.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:03:44 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Look into my eyes, and heed my warning you overweight balding mutant.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:03:44 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> [''Image of Finé''] <br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:04:25 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I am far more powerful than anything you have ever encountered.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:05:10 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Do you understand?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:05:16 <Christine>'''</font> Yes<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:05:33 <Christine>'''</font> I understand<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:05:41 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Now then<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:05:46 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Apologize to Gwen.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:06:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Not just a childish one.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:06:29 <Christine>'''</font> Gwen, I am really sorry for failing on the oatmeal, granola and exercise routines.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 2:06:46 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Don't apologize for THAT.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 2:06:51 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Apologize for EVERYTHING.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 2:06:56 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> ***Goddamn everything***<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:07:15 <Christine>'''</font> Okay<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:08:17 <Christine>'''</font> Hold on<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:15:03 <Christine>'''</font><br><br />
<br />
''[Chris links to the [[Chris apologizes to Gwen]] video]''<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:15:28 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> This is the video?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:15:40 <Christine>'''</font> It’s processing, yes<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:15:51 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> And only we can see it?<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 2:15:59 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Hmph<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:16:07 <Christine>'''</font> Yes<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:16:20 <Christine>'''</font> Nobody else<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:17:41 <Christine>'''</font> I have only One question I wish to ask in comment, with no response expected: Will I Ever be Reformed and Redeemed of all my sins and mistakes, and have Peace of Mind Ever Again?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:18:18 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You want peace of mind?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:18:52 <Christine>'''</font> Did you watch the video?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:20:42 <Christine>'''</font> I’m waiting to hear when you have.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:22:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Wow<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:22:55 <Christine>'''</font> Satisfactory?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:24:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> My sides hurt from the laughter, but we shall see what Gwen says.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:24:16 <Christine>'''</font> <@272783957752283137> ? [Notifying Gwen (Boyd)]<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:25:47 <Christine>'''</font> Waiting on you now<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:29:00 <Christine>'''</font> <@272783957752283137> ? [Notifying Gwen (Boyd)]<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 2:29:53 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I hate it<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 2:29:57 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I hate everything about it<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:30:21 <Christine>'''</font> Well, I was out of tears, and I shouted at the camera.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:30:28 <Christine>'''</font> The song was playing.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:31:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Awww<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:33:23 <Christine>'''</font> Anything else right now?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:41:09 <Christine>'''</font> Still waiting<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:42:29 <Christine>'''</font> Fine, the ponies label me as a sex offender; how can I make amends for that?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:43:23 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> How should I know? I just know what I read on my reports.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 2:43:56 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> I'm very unhappy right now<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:46:36 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Oh my<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:47:57 <Christine>'''</font> [[File:DiscordPickle.jpg|200px]] <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:48:08 <Christine>'''</font> Wall<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 2:48:08 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Who...told you to do that???<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 2:51:53 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> Show your mother your handiwork<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:53:32 <Christine>'''</font> Hold on<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:55:06 <Christine>'''</font> I showed it to my mother; she was really shocked and offended. She started to cry.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:55:13 <Christine>'''</font> Then she ran back upstairs<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:57:38 <Christine>'''</font> Woof<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:58:00 <Christine>'''</font> I’m a buttfucking champ.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 2:58:56 <Christine>'''</font> I need a shower, and I am really tired.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:00:02 <Christine>'''</font> So, the Moon?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:00:40 <Christine>'''</font> What’s up with the moon chunk?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:01:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Still in orbit<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:01:30 <Christine>'''</font> Are you leaving it there?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:01:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> For now<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:01:56 <Christine>'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:02:31 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You really showed you mother?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:02:36 <Christine>'''</font> I got my family back, and we’ll rebuild tomorrow.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:02:49 <Christine>'''</font> I showed the crossbone dicks to my mother.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:03:07 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Glorious...wait, crossbone dicks?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:03:39 <Christine>'''</font> I do not want to speak with you or Maria ever again.<br />
<br><font color="#4DBD33">'''18/04/09 3:04:01 <Boyd [as Gwen]>'''</font> You probably will until the goddesses have pity fatass.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:04:19 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> discord5.png <br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:04:22 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You also stole my armor design.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:04:27 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> My relic.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:05:08 <Christine>'''</font> I really have no idea what you are talking about, unless you’re taking about Sandy Rosechu’s hairstyle.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:05:09 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> And bastardized it for your Cherokean leader design.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:05:13 <Christine>'''</font> Oh!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:05:16 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> That too.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:05:36 <Christine>'''</font> Eh, that was more a Mayan inspired outfit. What?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:07:05 <Christine>'''</font> I need my sleep<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 3:09:27 <Christine>'''</font> Thank you<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:12:14 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> ONE MORE THING!!!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 3:12:48 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> [''Image of young Gary Coleman''] <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:12:47 <Christine>'''</font> I got the note of the Seinfeld Quad and Jim in the background; I will be sure to add them to the damn drawing tomorrow.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:12:47 <Christine>'''</font> Also, and you can not tell me otherwise, but Nightstar brought Cryzel, Magi-Chan, Sonichu and Timéchu back home tonight after all that. I Know they are all right here, safe and sound. Sonichu is not allowed to return to Cwcville for a long while. He’s staying right here and learn of my current details and get updated in the mental links.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:12:47 <Christine>'''</font> There is No New Mayor; Cwcville Is Run and LED by a 38-Year Trained and Educated Battery-Charge Blue Heart CPU. It is Not to ever be denied. Although, since you insisted, I made it a Law to appoint [[Brendan Fraser|Brendan Frazier]] and Jim Pickens as Her Advisors and Consultants; Neither of them will ever lead or Mayor Cwcville. I am taking control of the Nation, and I will not be stopped. I wrote Fifteen Chronicler Laws Yesterday; they all can never ever be overwritten, overturned, abolished or anything; they are set in stone and ironclad. Done deal.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:12:47 <Christine>'''</font> I’ll finish the damn sex drawing later. Goodnight.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:13:10 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Nope<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:13:28 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Your talk against me is final.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:13:35 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Moon is coming down.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:14:36 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Your lies and delusions have angered me for the last time.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:16:13 <Christine>'''</font> Fine, we will rebuild.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:16:27 <Christine>'''</font> You won’t get your coloured drawing.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:18:08 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Nope<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:18:20 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The CPUs have declared war.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:18:29 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> CHRIS!!!-Cryzel<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:18:49 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!‽<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:19:27 <Christine>'''</font> Ugh! I thought it was finally over!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:19:37 <Christine>'''</font> I thought you were here, Cryzel.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:19:47 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> No!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:20:08 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Why would you act so childish???<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:20:40 <Christine>'''</font> I was tired of this chaos and madness.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:21:50 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> The CPUs made announcements<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:21:55 <Christine>'''</font> CPUs, listen to me, I wrote a law that prevents anyone from harming any of you and John.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:22:11 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Read the announcements<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:25:54 <Christine>'''</font> I did<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:26:00 <Christine>'''</font> Please, Calm Down. I had noted very well that Sabrina was to have had more than 38 years of training and education for y’all.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:26:13 <Christine>'''</font> And I am going to draw her in flat chest in her CPU form.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:26:18 <Christine>'''</font> Didn’t they hear me?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:26:57 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> It was televised.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:27:11 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Those chats just copy what they said on TV.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:27:24 <Christine>'''</font> Geeze!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:27:33 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Chris...<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:27:38 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> How could you?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:27:59 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> You just had to insult Gwen’s mother, and the goddesses.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:29:16 <Christine>'''</font> I thought you, Magi-Chan and Sonichu were safe right here; my Chu Sense picked you three up here in this house.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:29:40 <Christine>'''</font> You shouted and cried at me.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:29:54 <Christine>'''</font> Then you punched me in the balls three times.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:30:02 <Christine>'''</font> And beat up my face<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:30:22 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Whaa?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:30:45 <Christine>'''</font> That’s what I’m feeling right now.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:30:55 <Christine>'''</font> Whaa?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:31:35 <Christine>'''</font> I don’t want a crap Mayor for Cwcville.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:31:51 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Sonichu was a crap mayor???<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:32:11 <Christine>'''</font> I was talking of Jim.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:32:39 <Christine>'''</font> But Sonichu insulted my Chronicler Laws I wrote last night and earlier today.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:32:52 <Christine>'''</font> I had written 15 Unbreakable Laws.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:33:10 <Christine>'''</font> And they’re part of Sonichu 17.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:33:30 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> I can’t believe you<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:34:30 <Christine>'''</font> What? You Knew you, Magi-Chan and I were going to time-travel and make the past details right for our Nation, in mutual decisions between the three of us.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:34:47 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> How?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:34:47 <Christine>'''</font> We went over what laws to write at McDonalds together the other day<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:34:55 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> How would you do that?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:35:13 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> You asked me what I thought and assumed I agreed.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:35:16 <Christine>'''</font> Our adventures were going to be drawn in the book.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:35:49 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> I told you that was a bad idea!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:35:59 <Christine>'''</font> Wait, what?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:36:13 <Christine>'''</font> Magi-Chan said it was a valid idea.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:36:48 <Christine>'''</font> I also wanted to undo the wrongs I and Chris did in the past, including the sexual offenses to Vert, among others.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:37:08 <Christine>'''</font> And the damn Butter Law<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:37:39 <Christine>'''</font> And the Women’s Rights Preservation<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:37:59 <Christine>'''</font> Equal Rights for all races, orientations and identities, religions and all<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:38:04 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Look at what your little stunt just started<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:38:53 <Christine>'''</font> One Law; making sure Cwcville was a CPU Nation I had thought was told from the Anchuent Prophecy.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:39:12 <Christine>'''</font> It even said my future daughter, Crystal Rosechu would be a CPU Candidate Of Cwcville.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:39:51 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Again, I wrote all that.-Finé<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:40:17 <Christine>'''</font> Let’s give it up for the troublemaking task master, ladies and gentlemen.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:40:50 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Moon<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:40:53 <Christine>'''</font> No<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:41:11 <Wise [Finé]>'''</font> You can’t rebuild if a massive chunk smashes into the planet.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:41:21 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> FOCUS!!!-Cryzel<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:41:33 <Christine>'''</font> Yes, Honey!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:41:48 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Chris<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:42:07 <Christine>'''</font> Fine, you tell me then, please.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:42:12 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Neptune was one of your only neutral supporters, and now she’s declared war.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:42:25 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Don’t yell at me<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:42:33 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Don’t you dare be rude to me!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:42:44 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> You brute!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:43:21 <Christine>'''</font> Well, then; alright. Just kill Sabrina already.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:43:31 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> Excuse me???<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:43:42 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> YOUR RECOURSE IS MORE KILLNG????<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:43:49 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> I can’t believe this<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:43:59 <Christine>'''</font> Well, her presence is what’s causing this war now<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:44:06 <Wise [as Cryzel]>'''</font> I didn’t marry you...I married Christine!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:44:27 <Christine>'''</font> What should I do then?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:44:36 <Christine>'''</font> To stop this war<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:44:47 <Christine>'''</font> I don’t like killing either.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:45:05 <Christine>'''</font> I don’t want Sabrina dead either<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:45:19 <Christine>'''</font> I’m just feeling frustrated and confused.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:45:34 <Christine>'''</font> I don’t know what to do<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:45:36 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> You know she ran off? You want my advice, just pull Sabrina from mayoral shit.-Pitohui<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:46:09 <Christine>'''</font> I do that, then Jim will be pushed into the seat; I do not want that.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:46:25 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> Sonichu was already mayor.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:47:07 <Christine>'''</font> Crystal Weston Chandler Rosechu aside, No Full-Breed Sonichu or Rosechu is permitted to ever be Mayor.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:47:13 <Christine>'''</font> I wrote that law too<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:47:27 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> .......<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:47:30 <Christine>'''</font> Sonichu is not Mayor Material<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:48:17 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> You know<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:48:19 <Christine>'''</font> What the hell did I do all day today?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:48:24 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> Neither were you.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:48:49 <Christine>'''</font> Yet, I’m the powerful Chronicler and Leader, and I know the powers are there.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:49:03 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> Your power is recording shit, boy.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:49:12 <Christine>'''</font> I felt every instance right after I signed my name on each of those laws.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:49:30 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> You mean those laws no one here follows?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:50:15 <Christine>'''</font> I made an Ironclad Law that makes all of those laws Required to be followed at all times without overwriting or abolishment.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:50:22 <Christine>'''</font> I preserved Women’s Rights<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:50:28 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> Nobody listened.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:50:52 <Christine>'''</font> Damn Butter Law! I even wrote against that.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:51:03 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> Sonichu wiped his ass with the paper you wrote on.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:51:37 <Christine>'''</font> That’s another whap on the head for him when I get my mitts on him.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:51:59 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> Yup.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:52:47 <Christine>'''</font> Fine! Executive Decision: Jim Picken is Mayor Of Cwcville Now.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:53:04 <Christine>'''</font> But the name remains Cwcville, no matter what.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:53:31 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> I think Jim left to go murder more people.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:53:55 <Christine>'''</font> Oh, Great! Maria picked a Murderer to “Lead” the nation.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:54:05 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> No<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:54:09 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> You just did.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:54:44 <Christine>'''</font> I change my decision: Jim is Not Mayor.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:54:47 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> Just say you’re the mayor again.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:54:57 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> You already act like it anyway.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:55:53 <Christine>'''</font> Alright. But I was not Mayor the first time, Cwcville Chris was. Please, stop referring to me as the past Mayor. I never personally sat in that office.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:56:04 <Wise [as Pitohui]>'''</font> Mmhmm<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:56:32 <Christine>'''</font> Everyone, I, Miss Christine Weston Chandler, will step in fully as Mayor Of Cwcville.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:57:13 <Christine>'''</font> Sabrina is not in that position anymore.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:57:43 <Christine>'''</font> Although, I will do my best to tame, train and educate her.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:57:58 <Christine>'''</font> Is everyone listening?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:58:01 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Very good.-Finé<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:58:21 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Show me that picture.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:58:38 <Christine>'''</font> What I have so far, okay?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:59:09 <Christine>'''</font> Because I will be adding Seinfeld gang and Jim in the background later.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:59:14 <Christine>'''</font> And colouring it.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 4:59:18 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Alright<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 4:59:52 <Christine>'''</font> [[File:Discordorgy.jpg|200px]] <br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:00:49 <Christine>'''</font> As Mayor, and Leader Of Cwcville, I do not take Puppet orders from Finé. All decisions are of my own will.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:01:46 <Christine>'''</font> And, as my first act as Mayor Of Cwcville, I wish to restore all but the Sabrina Cuca Law of the Chronicler Laws.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:02:07 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Who is that being humped?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:02:13 <Christine>'''</font> Me<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:02:27 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You drew yourself with a large chest.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:02:48 <Christine>'''</font> I do have a “D” Cup size.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:02:52 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Liar<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:02:54 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Moon<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:02:58 <Christine>'''</font> No<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:03:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:03:06 <Christine>'''</font> I have proof<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:03:13 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I have proof in that size<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:03:29 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Your breasts are a lie.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:03:55 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Moon<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:04:00 <Christine>'''</font> That’s the back of my bra, showing the size.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:04:05 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I don’t need to see your underwear.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:04:06 <Christine>'''</font> No Moon<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:04:24 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> It’s coming down<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:04:27 <Christine>'''</font> No!<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:04:32 <Christine>'''</font> Stop the Moon!<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:04:37 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Why?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:05:15 <Christine>'''</font> I will not commit suicide, but I would become very depressed if I can’t restore everything.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:06:09 <Christine>'''</font> Do you want me depressed?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:06:20 <Christine>'''</font> Or no Cheap Power for you.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:06:29 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I don’t care.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:06:46 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Admit you’re lying.<br />
<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:07:01 <Christine>'''</font> My breasts with fat are a lie.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:07:09 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> No more drawings of you with large breasts<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:07:31 <Christine>'''</font> Alright<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:08:08 <Christine>'''</font> Why are You obsessed with breast size like Blanc is?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:08:19 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I’m not<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:08:47 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I think it is disgusting how you think of yourself as a cutesy girl.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:09:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The girl you draw in those pictures<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:09:03 <Christine>'''</font> I don’t think of myself as cutesy.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:09:07 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> That isn’t you.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:09:35 <Christine>'''</font> Have you seen the recent photographs of me?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:09:51 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> They look nothing like your artwork.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:10:13 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> The real you is overweight, greasy, and balding.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:11:27 <Christine>'''</font> I do not like you, Finé.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:11:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I do not care.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:12:10 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Your family were always fat, lazy, lying, cowardly worms in the generations I knew them.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:13:06 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I actually talked to your old God in person.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:13:38 <Christine>'''</font> The one I can’t go back to now, because I forsook Jesus.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:13:46 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Your family got drunk and had sex like rabid dogs.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:14:16 <Christine>'''</font> Stop<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:14:20 <Christine>'''</font> Enough.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:14:33 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You know<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:14:44 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Jesus doesn’t care if you leave.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:15:02 <Christine>'''</font> Leave this world for Cwcville?<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:15:08 <Christine>'''</font> That’s fine by me.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:15:11 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> He does but it’s more God always welcomes back lost flock.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:15:17 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> No<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:15:49 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I’m not here to preach, to be honest.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:16:09 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> But you seem to not understand your old religion at all.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:16:41 <Christine>'''</font> You’re right, I didn’t.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:17:23 <Christine>'''</font> Nobody forgives anyone in this world.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:17:26 <Christine>'''</font> Not even me<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:17:39 <Christine>'''</font> So, that was the big reason why I ditched Jesus.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:17:42 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Suit yourself.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:17:57 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> But yes, he is real.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:18:52 <Christine>'''</font> I don’t doubt it, but in an unforgiving world as this one, I can’t be satisfied until when I Am forgiven after I am reformed and redeemed.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:19:10 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Chris, how do you think forgiveness works?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:19:46 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You ask for forgiveness and then you repeat the exact same offense over and over.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:20:00 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> That’s why nobody just forgives you anymore.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:20:28 <Christine>'''</font> No argument.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:21:03 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Chris, nobody takes you seriously. They know you’ll mess up and repeat the very offense you just committed.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:22:33 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I’m being nice here for once.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:22:53 <Christine>'''</font> I’m not fighting<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:23:02 <Christine>'''</font> Or arguing<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:23:49 <Christine>'''</font> I get it: what I need to do is prove I won’t make the same mistakes again.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:24:13 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> And we ran into your first problem.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:24:19 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Honesty.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:24:41 <Christine>'''</font> I did not lie there.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:24:56 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> No but let’s be honest.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:24:59 <Christine>'''</font> But my history does prove me false<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:25:06 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Yes.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:26:15 <Christine>'''</font> I just try to prove myself by telling the truth instead of sugar coating it.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:26:48 <Christine>'''</font> Or, what is it you were thinking?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:27:10 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> I think for now I will be retiring to my office for the night.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:27:20 <Christine>'''</font> Me too.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:27:57 <Christine>'''</font> I want my Cryzel, Magi-Chan and Sonichu to return to me as soon as possible, please.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:28:15 <Christine>'''</font> Thank you<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:28:29 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You forget<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:28:35 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Cryzel wants space.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:28:45 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> You just terrified her tonight.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:28:55 <Christine>'''</font> Okay.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:28:57 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Better hope it doesn't compromise your babies.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:29:25 <Christine>'''</font> May I have Magi-Chan and Sonichu here as soon as possible, please?<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:29:44 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Tomorrow.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:29:48 <Christine>'''</font> Okay<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:29:50 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Tomorrow at dinner.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:29:56 <Christine>'''</font> Thank you<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:30:06 <Christine>'''</font> Goodnight<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:44:10 <Christine>'''</font> One more thing, as Mayor Of Cwcville, I wish to appoint as my consultants and advisors Robertchu, Nick Saban, and my BFF, Anna McLerran.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:44:25 <Christine>'''</font> Thank you<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:45:26 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> No outsiders<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:45:32 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Except Saban.<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:45:40 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Anna is a potential risk.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:46:25 <Christine>'''</font> Robertchu is family.<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:46:32 <Christine>'''</font> My father<br />
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''18/04/09 5:47:07 <Wise [as Finé]>'''</font> Just no Anna<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:47:13 <Christine>'''</font> Fine<br />
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''18/04/09 5:47:30 <Christine>'''</font> Thank you.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Idea Guys]]<br />
*[[Cryzel Torture]]<br />
*[[Chris and reality]]<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{IdeaGuySaga}}<br />
{{FanChats}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chatlogs]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=315110Weening2023-10-25T05:39:14Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting [[BlueSpike|a ween]] attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200226105210/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens''' (not to be confused with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ween the alternative rock band]). A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[File:MeanKeanWeenSecondComing.png|thumb|An [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|obscene, less keen ween]] seen bein' like the mean Peen... unclean, and most likely fourteen.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and [[CWCville|where it takes place]] as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/49854/post-11683809 Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.]<br />
* [https://reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/10k8nj3/chris_chan_porn_video_gofundme/ Funding a pornographic film about Chris.]<br />
* [[:File:9zkfdgibmrxa1.png|Leaving one-star reviews on places Chris has visited because Chris visited them.]]<br />
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/15oqgk7/christine_can_still_become_rich_and_live_a/ Suggesting Chris should start an OnlyFans.]<br />
* Making fake obituaries stating [[Barb]] or any other Christorical figures have died.<br />
* [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II|Chasing down Chris after seeing him in public.]]<br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community through donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, making and sending him badly-made parody comics, or trying to re-hash the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid Chris Saga]] is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are (and always will be) much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame,<ref group=note>This idea worked once in the right circumstances, there's no need to repeat it now, where Chris believes he's a goddess and a reincarnate of Jesus.</ref> or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included terrible homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[pickle|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention now more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=315109Weening2023-10-25T05:33:50Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting [[BlueSpike|a ween]] attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200226105210/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens''' (not to be confused with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ween the alternative rock band]). A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[File:MeanKeanWeenSecondComing.png|thumb|An [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|obscene, less keen ween]] seen bein' like the mean Peen... unclean, and most likely fourteen.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and [[CWCville|where it takes place]] as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/49854/post-11683809 Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.]<br />
* [https://reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/10k8nj3/chris_chan_porn_video_gofundme/ Funding a pornographic film about Chris.]<br />
* [[:File:9zkfdgibmrxa1.png|Leaving one-star reviews on places Chris has visited because Chris visited them.]]<br />
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/15oqgk7/christine_can_still_become_rich_and_live_a/ Suggesting Chris should start an OnlyFans.]<br />
* Making fake obituaries stating [[Barb]] or any other Christorical figures have died.<br />
* [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II|Chasing down Chris after seeing him in public.]]<br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community through donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, making and sending him badly-made parody comics, or trying to re-hash the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid Chris Saga]] is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are (and always will be) much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame,<ref group=note>This idea worked once in the right circumstances, there's no need to repeat it now, where Chris believes he's a goddess and a reincarnate of Jesus.</ref> or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included terrible homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[pickle|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Post-jail_sightings_(2023)&diff=312811Post-jail sightings (2023)2023-09-09T00:28:10Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* 14 Branchland Court */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{protip|We once again advise you to ''never ever'' directly engage with Chris nor attempt to get him [[banned]] from the places he's been to. On the off-chance that you cross paths with Chris, the absolute ''most'' that you should do is [[Passive observers|get some kind of documentation of Chris]], [[Unholy Tetrad|but never to directly engage with him]]; otherwise, it is best to leave Chris alone. To put it more bluntly: ''DO NOT'' attempt to stalk Chris upon seeing him, and ''NEVER'' speak to Chris in ''ANY'' way, shape, or form, or to anyone at his current place of residence. [[Megan Schroeder|You]] [[BlueSpike|do]] ''[[A-Logging|NOT]]'' [[Idea Guys#Removal from power|want]] [[Michael Hirtes|to]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|be]] [[Jacob Sockness|a part]] [[Affair with Mother|of Christory]].}}<br />
[[File:Chris sightings in May 2023.png|thumb|A map of all Chris sightings in May 2023. (''Note: this map has the wrong Walmart labeled. The Walmart where Chris was spotted is further south, just off of US Route 360.'')]]<br />
[[File:PeenWeen.png|thumb|As foreseen, a mean keen [[Weening|ween]] by the name of [[Pickle|Peen]] seen looking for [[Transgender|Christine]].]]<br />
<br />
On 27 [[March 2023]], [[Chris]] was [[Jail Saga#Bonded out or Released by court order|released from jail]], with the only explanation being ''"released by court order"''. Beginning on 1 [[May 2023]], '''sightings of Chris''' were reported in various places around {{w|Chesterfield County, Virginia}}.<br />
<br />
Most of the sightings were initially posted on the [[r/ChrisChanSonichu|r/ChrisChanSonichu subreddit]]. All sightings involved Chris either shopping or playing [[card games|trading card games]] in public.<br />
<br />
This period of time has gone through a number of name changes, with it being referred to as '''The Chase''' (in reference to the ''Doctor Who'' serial) from May 1-6. However, people felt that calling it "The Chase" would encourage [[weens]] to actually 'chase' Chris, so from May 7-August 17 it was called the '''Post-Jail Saga'''. Eventually, CWCki users agreed to rename it to the '''Third Exile'''.<br />
<br />
==Walmart (May)==<br />
[[Image:MidlothianWalmart.jpg|thumb|Walmart branch on 14501 Hancock Village St. in Midlothian]]<br />
<br />
On 1 [[May 2023]], Chris was spotted shopping at a [[Walmart]] in {{w|Midlothian, VA|Midlothian}}, Virginia, a western suburb of Richmond in Chesterfield County.<br />
<br />
On the same day, a Reddit user called DarylMcGoofyGuy posted a thread with a photo of Chris, claiming that a friend had sent the picture.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1350b35/chris_sighting_at_a_walmart_a_friend_sent_me_this/</ref> On Twitter, more photos were posted by an account named Speedymctweet, again claiming a friend had sent them.<ref>https://twitter.com/Speedymctweet/status/1653131783897063425</ref> In the photos, Chris's [[hair]] has returned to its natural brown color, and he also appears thinner, congruent with his last mugshot. He also has a [[medallion|Sonichu medallion]], most likely a [[Medallions#Mark V|Mark V]] version.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 1.png|Photo uploaded by both DarylMcGoofyGuy and Speedymctweet, of Chris putting something in or taking something out of his cart. <br />
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 2.png|2nd photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris shopping.<br />
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 3.jpg|3rd photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris looking at what could be a shopping list.<br />
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 4.jpg|4th photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris in the Entertainment section.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
Another Reddit user, Alternative_Roof1940, subsequently posted photos of Chris from the security cameras at the Walmart.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1350yv5/chris_chan_at_my_local_walmart_not_a_drill/</ref><br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:Midlothian_CCTV.png|Chris on CCTV<br />
Image:Chris_Near_Checkout.jpg|Shot of Chris near the checkout<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
===Video===<br />
<br />
Alternative_Roof1940 also uploaded a brief video clip of Chris walking away outside of the store.<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = May 1, 2023<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvvdJrpYbu8}}<br />
| stardate = 1 [[May 2023]]<br />
| saga = [[Image:TheChaseicon.png]] [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|Post-Jail]]<br />
| saga = [[Incest Arrest#Video|The Arrest]]<br />
| saga = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
He also claimed:<ref>https://www.reddit.com/user/Alternative_Roof1940/comments/ ([https://archive.fo/oVp8W archive])</ref><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris approached the electronic department asking for a flash drive and also ended up buying a [[Nintendo Switch|switch]] (yes......again). The second photo is from the electronics when he was asking}}<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|There was a large black van chris got into about 8 stores down driven by a large black woman. I didn't take any photos of the vehicle for the sake of the woman driving}}<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|No, there was no group. Chris was alone the entire time up until chris got into the car with 1 single person parked 8 stores away}}<br />
<br />
The address of the Walmart was not revealed by any of the observers, but the exterior view shown in Alternative_Roof1940's video indicates that it is located at 14501 Hancock Village Street. This location happens to be 10 miles (16 km) by road from the main campus of [[Gateway Homes]], lending support to the hypothesis that Chris is residing there. One of the rules of Gateway Homes states “No registered sex offenders or individuals who have committed a sexual offense will be considered”,<ref>https://gatewayhomes.org/admissions-eligibility/</ref> although Chris is not a registered offender and has not been formally convicted of [[incest]], making it unclear if his charge poses an issue for admission. Without confirmation, we cannot say for sure where Chris is residing. Coincidentally, the Walmart is only 4 miles (6 km) from [[Manchester High School]], which Chris attended from 1996 to 2000.<br />
<br />
==Battlegrounds==<br />
[[File:Gamestore2023.jpg|thumb|200px|[[:File:Chrischannov2007.jpg|Nothing has changed]].]]<br />
<br />
On 2 May 2023, Chris was spotted playing cards at the game store Battlegrounds, also in Midlothian, around 11 miles north of Walmart he was shopping on May 1st and a half hour drive from his speculated Gateway Homes. The photo was posted by Euclid_Class_Object to Reddit on the same day presumably. <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1366xdf/chris_spotted_in_a_local_game_shop/#</ref> <br />
<br />
Euclid Class Object sourced the photo from a member of the "Zodiac Duelist" Yu-Gi-Oh Facebook group.<br />
<br />
<!-- Administrators of the Facebook group suggested the member tell the Battlegrounds [[Manajerks|management]] about Chris's situation in an attempt to [[ban]] him. <ref>[[:File:Chris_potentially_banned_from_Battlegrounds.png]]</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|Forgot to say. An admin from the FB group suggested that OP should tell the store owners about Chris-Chan's situation so they might get banned from the store lol}}<br />
--><br />
On the 5th, Battlegrounds set their Facebook store page to private, most likely due to [[Weening|ween]] activity.<br />
<br />
Chris was wearing the same [[Medallions#Mark V|Mark V medallion]] he was wearing in the Walmart photos.<br />
<br />
==Chesterfield Towne Center==<br />
[[File:Chrischan-seen-in-public-v0-f7l8pasp6qxa1.png|thumb|left|200px|CWCfoot]]<br />
<br />
On 3 May 2023, for the third time in a row, Chris was spotted outside a [[wikipedia:Donatos Pizza|Donatos Pizza]] at [[wikipedia:Chesterfield Towne Center|Chesterfield Towne Center]] in Chesterfield County, about 16 miles (25 km) north of the speculated Gateway Homes and over 2 miles (4 km) east of Battlegrounds. The photo was posted to Reddit by Pure_Lingonberry_677, who also claims his friend took the photo <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13703h9/chrischan_seen_in_public/</ref><br />
<br />
This is the first sighting where Chris is aware that he is being photographed. Chris appears to be put off and even nervous, something uncharacteristic of him before the Jail Saga, though Chris could just be caught off-guard. <br />
<br />
Also, the Sonichu medallion itself has also somehow turned its face towards the camera; whether this is due to Chris [[Sonichu's Edge|moving fast enough for the medallion]] [[Obesity|to bounce naturally off of Chris]], or that [[Magical thinking|the medallion itself is possessed by the same forces]] set to bring about the [[Dimensional Merge]] is uncertain.<br />
<br />
==Earthbound Trading Company==<br />
[[File:CWC sighting 5-27-23.png|thumb|right|200px|Chris, [[Chris and fashion|fitting in]].]]<br />
<br />
On 3 May 2023 a reddit user called sagehazes who works as a cashier mentioned in a comment on the Chesterfield Towne Center sighting thread that they had rung Chris up at the store where they work:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|came into my store and signed the receipt "sonichu"}}<br />
<br />
At the time sagehazes did not elaborate or provide evidence. <br />
<br />
On 27 May 2023 sagehazes rang Chris up again, and on 29 May they rang him up a third time. That same day, sagehazes posted a picture of Chris in line at the register and a picture of his [[signature]] on a receipt. While the pictures on Reddit are from the 27 May sighting, sagehazes claims that they also took pictures during the 29 May sighting. It remains to be seen if those will be uploaded as well.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13v4vtx/sighting_signature/</ref><br />
<br />
In the thread, sagehazes did not name the store but described it as "a hippie/new age type store".<ref name=sagehazes>https://www.reddit.com/user/sagehazes/comments/ ([https://archive.fo/2tfaW archive])</ref> One Reddit user identified the store as Earthbound Trading Company, a clothing and new-age chain which has a location in Chesterfield Towne Center. Photographs of the mall store on Google Maps show that the store's ceiling matches the ceiling visible in sagehazes' photo.<br />
<br />
According to sagehazes, Chris had been to the shop at least twice, once near the end of April and again on 27 May. Sagehazes described his purchases as "usually jewelry and crystals" and described Chris as looking relatively normal (by his standards) but emitting an unhealthy odor:<ref name=sagehazes></ref><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|it was definitely funky with a hint of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]]}}<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|pure shit I had to breathe through my mouth very shallowly}}<br />
<br />
Sagehazes also claimed that Chris was talking to himself while in the store.<ref name=sagehazes></ref><br />
<br />
One notable change from early May is that Chris's [[hair]] has been dyed a bright teal color. Also conspicuous is the absence of the Sonichu medallion, presumably to avoid recognition by weens. On closer inspection, however, the back of a necklace can be seen on his neck, as well as what looks to be a bump in the shape of the medallion under his clothes, so it is likely he has simply hidden it under his shirt.<br />
<br />
The signature reads "J. Christ Chan Sonichu", showing that Chris's [[Messiah_complex#Jesus_Reborn|Jesus delusions]] remain strong after being released from jail.<br />
<br />
[[File:CWC signature 5-27-23.png|thumb|center|200px|This is what Chris actually believes.]]<br />
<br />
==Modern Table Top Gaming==<br />
[[File:May 30 2023 sighting.jpg|thumb|left|200px|[[Affair with Mother|You are what you eat]].]]<br />
On 30 May 2023, a now-deleted Reddit user Literally-poop spotted Chris playing {{w|Magic: The Gathering}} in an unspecified location and posted a photo of him to r/ChrisChanSonichu the same day.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13w21ko/sighted_today_playing_mtg//</ref> The Sonichu Medallion is once again presumably hidden under Chris's shirt.<br />
<br />
User SaleneDreams identified the store as Modern Table Top Gaming in [[wikipedia:Chester, Virginia|Chester]], a community in eastern Chesterfield County.<ref> https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13w21ko/sighted_today_playing_mtg/</ref> Photos of Modern Table Top Gaming on Google Maps confirm that the chairs and table in the store match those in the photo and that the framed picture behind Chris had been blacked out because it prominently displayed the store's name. The store is 15 miles (24 km) east of Gateway Homes.<br />
<br />
==Williamsburg Premium Outlets==<br />
<br />
[[File:CWC-Premium Outlets sighting-June 2023.jpg|200px|thumb|Chris with two [[Gal pal|women]].]]<br />
On 7 [[June 2023]], Chris was spotted buying [[Restaurants|Ben and Jerry's]] at {{w|Williamsburg Premium Outlets}} in {{w|Williamsburg, Virginia}} with two women, one of whom was in a wheelchair. On the same day, user CardboardJoJo claimed on r/ChrisChanSonichu that Chris had complimented their dog, initially without any photos and refusing to state where this had happened.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/143jnzv/chris_just_told_me_my_dog_was_very_cute/</ref> <br />
<br />
CardboardJoJo wrote:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|Won’t say where, but similar to where they’ve been sighted in May. Was walking my dog and a person in leggings and a jeans skirt said “That is just the cutest dog!” and I immediately recognized their voice. I was shook and just told them “thank you!” but I feel so blessed.}}<br />
<br />
A few hours later, CardboardJoJo posted a photo of Chris and the women and disclosed the location.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/143osoa/photo_of_chris_from_today_after_the_dog/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|This was in Williamsburg at the Premium Outlets for those interested in documenting that level of specifics. Didn’t want to post this info at the time in case someone would attempt to go there and make contact. They were on the way to get Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.}}<br />
<br />
This is the first post-jail sighting of Chris outside of Chesterfield County. The Ben and Jerry's location is about 66 miles (102 km) east of Gateway Homes by road, a drive of more than an hour without traffic.<br />
<br />
==Walmart (July)==<br />
On 3 [[July 2023]], a member of the [[Official CWCki Server]] posted that a friend had seen Chris at Walmart in Chesterfield County and had taken a photo of Chris looking at a display of G-Fuel drinks. Chris is seen with newly dyed dark blue hair and the photographer noted he (Chris) had his [[medallion]] on.<br />
<br />
Later that day, the photographer posted to [[r/ChrisChanSonichu]], adding that the Walmart was at Hancock Village St<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/14pxmud/comment/jql80m7/?context=3 ([https://archive.fo/eyCZy archive])</ref> and also posted a similar photo.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/14q3k6v/alternative_photo/ ([https://archive.fo/eyCZy archive])</ref><br />
<br />
In the high-resolution photo, it can be seen that Chris has a drawing of the [[Neo Spiritual Christianity]] cross clipped to his backpack, seemingly a memento from his jail days as it is done entirely in black and blue pen.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:Walmart 3 July 2023 sighting details1.jpg|Photographer's details of the sighting, posted to the Official CWCki Server<br />
File:Walmart 3 July 2023 sighting details2.jpg|Photographer's details of the sighting, part 2<br />
File:Walmart 3 Jul 2023 sighting.jpg|First sighting photo<br />
File:Walmart 3 Jul 2023 sighting2 (cropped).jpg|Second sighting photo, posted to Reddit (cropped due to file size limits on CWCki)<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Dragon Fire Games==<br />
On 20 July 2023, a [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] user posted a thread on /b/, uploading a photo of Chris taken from behind. The user commented: <br />
{{quoteboxyellow|I play Magic The Gathering in central VA. Chris Chan showed up for the first time here. Should I get her number?}} <br />
When asked "How bad does he stink?" the user answered: <br />
{{quoteboxyellow|Nothing noticeable. For reference, this was at Dragon Fire Games in Lynchburg, Virginia."<ref>https://thebarchive.com/b/thread/902962124/#q902962124</ref>}}<br />
<br />
A photo taken from another angle, showing Chris's face, was briefly posted in a thread on [[r/ChrisChanSonichu]]. The photo was apparently sourced from an unknown Discord server, but the Reddit thread was quickly deleted by the poster,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/155ay7v/ripped_from_discord/</ref> although the photo itself was saved.<br />
<br />
This is the second known sighting of Chris outside of Chesterfield County, and the farthest from the Chesterfield Gateway Homes campus that he has traveled since his apparent transfer - Lynchburg is approximately 108 miles west of the facility by road, a drive of nearly two hours without traffic.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:CWC sighting 20Jul2023 1.jpg <br />
File:CWC sighting 20Jul2023 2.jpg <br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==Walmart (August)==<br />
On 4 August 2023, Twitter user TheOtakuKing posted a video of Chris at what appears to be a Walmart in Lynchburg, writing:<br />
{{quoteboxgray|Found chris chan (60% sure?) . Cool dude. Talked to him about sonic and shit. Don't seem that bad."<ref>https://twitter.com/TheOtakuKing_/status/1687541346955935744</ref>}} <br />
<br />
TheOtakuKing elaborated on their conversation in a response to another post:<br />
{{quoteboxgray|I didn't know if it was him or not. But I did seen sonic stuff on him.<br />
<br />
Didn't ask him that. I Pretend I didn't even know him. Didn't want to walk up and be like hey. Chris where you live at! Lol}}<br />
<br />
There are multiple Walmart locations in the city, and the exact one where the video was taken has yet to be determined. When asked about where the video was filmed, he responded:<br />
{{quoteboxgray|No offense. But I just got to know the dude. Don't wanna give his position like that!}}<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgray|Chris is just some Confused kid. Thought about being like woody and hanging out with him. He just need a friend. He don't seems that bad.}}<br />
<br />
In response to someone asking if he had the Classic Chris voice:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgray|Kinda. He was looking at speakers. Started talking to him about random stuff}}<br />
<br />
In response to someone asking if he talked about alternate dimensions:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgray|Nothing like that. We was chilling and talking about sonic cd etc. Wanted to ask him about anime but I had to go.}}<br />
<br />
He was seemingly unaware that Chris is [[Chris and the law|a criminal]], when one of the replies mentioned his criminal record he responded:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgray|Damn. He a Criminal. Well I got to do some research again. Been while}}<br />
<br />
This was the first full communication with Chris since his release.<br />
<br />
===Video===<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = The Otaku King's CWC sighting<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|F6SRKgsbKN4}}<br />
| stardate = 4 [[August 2023]]<br />
| saga = Post-Jail<br />
| saga = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
====Follow-up videos====<br />
[[File:SympathyForChris.png|thumb|250px|right|Otaku King in summary.]]<br />
On 20 August 2023, Otaku King released a video discussing his encounter with Chris and his desire to be a [[White-Knighting|friend and mentor to him]]. In a reply to a comment on the video, he indicated that he was open to interviewing Chris, though the comment was later deleted.<br />
<br />
On the 26th, Otaku King made another video about Chris, after watching some documentaries about him. In this video, Otaku King double-downs into his [[White-Knighting|White-Knight]] role, proclaiming that he will cause the "season finale for Chris Chan".<br />
<br />
Otaku King made a third video reacting to [[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 25 August 2023.png|Chris's case dismissal]], continuing to double down on his White-Knighting.<br />
<br />
On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris followed Otaku King on [[Twitter]] and liked a meme Otaku made about Chris and himself, along with the original sighting video.<ref>https://twitter.com/TheOtakuKing_/followers</ref><ref>https://twitter.com/TheOtakuKing_/status/1696259349440524707</ref><br />
<br />
==Other sightings==<br />
Below are less notable sightings that took place after Chris's court case was [[:File:Court_Record_-_Greene_Circuit_Court_-_Incest_-_(Chris,_CR22000141-00)_-_8_August_2023.png|ressolved]] and Chris [[Saga#Second_Coming_(8_August_2023_-_Present)|returned to the internet]].<br />
<br />
===Walmart (August) Part II===<br />
On 24 August 2023, Chris was spotted at Walmart for the fourth time by DoctorWinchester87, who was initially reluctant to post the photo they took of Chris,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/160fctz/ran_into_chris_today_and_it_was_a_surreal/</ref> though later posted it a few hours later.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/160jrwp/follow_up_to_my_ran_into_chris_post_heres_the_pic/</ref><br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:E0qdelsi25kb1.jpg|Chris lookin' for [[Chris and nutrition|grub]].<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|Just wanted to clarify for those who didn't see the original post I made - this occurred in Walmart in Lynchburg, VA this afternoon. I was just walking along and saw him coming down the aisle. I got this picture (which is slightly zoomed in from the original) and a preliminary picture which was really far away and blurry.<br />
<br />
I did not interact with Chris/Christine other than just walking past and making brief eye contact. I did hear him talking to himself briefly.}}<br />
<br />
===On the road===<br />
On 25 August 2023, [[Kiwi Farms]] user Right Butt Cheek posted a photo of [[Son-Chu|Chris's car]] in reply to a post by user Stupidface about the information currently tied to the "SONCIHU" plate (Chris somehow [[Chris and English|misspelled]] "SONICHU" on his own damn license plate). The user also claimed that their friend sent it to them.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Soncihu License Plate]]</ref><br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:IMG 8573.jpg|Son-Chu in flesh.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
The plate information this was in reply to was the following:<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|VIN: KL1TD56646B569111<br />
2006 Chevrolet Aveo<br />
Last sold on May 19 2023 for $3,500.}}<br />
{{Clear}}<br />
<br />
===14 Branchland Court===<br />
[[File:Home.png|thumb|200px]]<br />
On 4 [[September 2023]], Reddit user nemo1316 posted a photo of the same car from the Son-Chu sighting parked at [[14 Branchland Court]], indicating that Chris either visited or moved back to Sonichu Headquarters.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/169yv4r/chris_chans_car_sighted_at_sonichu_temple/ ([https://archive.ph/p78r1 archive])</ref> [[Barb]] was [[Fan_visits#FaithlessnessSad5791_(AKA_Barb_sighting)|sighted]] at the house on the 25th of August, though it is unknown if she was there at the time of Chris's arrival.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:Bxn1aghz1amb1.png|Well, ''nuts''. <br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
===Food Lion=== <br />
On the same day as the 14 Branchland sighting, Twitter user bndjnky sighted Chris at the {{w|Food Lion}} [[Ruckersville]] location talking with a woman at a {{w|Coinstar}} machine.<ref>https://twitter.com/bndjnky/status/1698801255978545375</ref><br />
<br />
====Video====<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = local chris chan sighting in ruckersville virginia! with a woman?<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Luc8yT1g--U}}<br />
| stardate = 4 [[September 2023]]<br />
| saga = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
====Transcript====<br />
'''''Note:''''' The talking in the clip is just barely decipherable, though Chris seems to be discussing groceries with the woman, possibly indicating that he still could be at a group home or something of the sort.<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris'''</font>: When I checked the groceries,<br />
<br />
''[Chris gets interrupted]''<br />
<br />
<font color=red>'''Lady'''</font>: Now, it's jacking the price, see? Now-<br />
<br />
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris'''</font>: ''Now,'' listen. The hot dog buns, and a loaf of bread,<br />
<br />
''[Video ends]''<br />
<br />
This was the first time Chris was recorded speaking since his release.<br />
<br />
==Fan art==<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Fan art<br />
|<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:CWC 2023.jpeg|Artist's depiction of Chris on the run<br />
Image:Return of CWC.jpeg|''Look who's back...''<br />
Image:82ic0u6ubrxa1.png|Caught!<br />
Image:TxyeB1ql.png|The rise of Ween-Mart<br />
Image:Ydow809ej5ya1.png|Artist's depiction of the CWCfoot sighting<br />
Image:CWC-EdBoySenpai (photoshopped).png|😱<br />
Image:R2srik08dcya1.jpg|CWCptid hunting<br />
Image:84n46ojaqlya1.png|What some expect to happen upon getting a photo of Chris<br />
Image:S5dnd9h3lfza1.png|The meeting of the century<br />
Image:U8l5no8vjv0b1.png|The Adversary<br />
Image:L5p2e32akw2b1.png|Among the living<br />
Image:54wbwuxy383b1.png|The duality of '''WO'''man<br />
Image:D9hrx3bqyn4b1.jpg|The hat origin story <br />
</gallery></center><br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
===Post-jail online activity===<br />
{{main|Saga#Incognito Saga (10 August 2023 - 3 September 2023)}}<br />
*[[Helena_Fiorenza#Post-jail]]<br />
*[[HEXBox#He likes it for real now]]<br />
*[[PlayStation_consoles#PS5]]<br />
*[[DeviantART#Post-jail]]<br />
*[[Twitter#Post-jail_activity]]<br />
*[[PlayStation Network#Post-jail activity]]<br />
*[[Pokémon GO#Post-jail]]<br />
*[[Nintendo#Nintendo Switch]]<br />
<br />
===Files on Chris's incest charge===<br />
*[[Jail Saga#Court proceedings (J&DR Court)]]<br />
*[[Jail Saga#Court proceedings (Circuit Court)]]<br />
===Post-release 14 Branchland Court fan visits===<br />
*[[Fan visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS]]<br />
*[[Fan visits#Anonymous Facebook Member]]<br />
*[[Fan visits#FaithlessnessSad5791 (AKA Barb sighting)]]<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{ThirdExile}}<br />
{{IncognitoSaga}}<br />
{{The Internet}}</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler&diff=309416Christian Weston Chandler2023-07-26T01:56:11Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Future */</p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about Chris himself... it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''<br />
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''<br />
{{Transgender|MTF}}<br />
{{Unreliable|type=cred|Chris is a [[List of Chris's lies|habitual liar]].|Chris will often exaggerate things that happened, often to [[Chris and his ego|make himself look better]].|Chris is considerably [[naïve]].|Chris's accounts on how a certain event went down will often vary with each time he recalls it.}}<br />
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox Person<br />
| title = Christian Weston Chandler<br />
| image = 0773-CWC23.JPG<br />
| size = 350<br />
| name = Christopher Weston Chandler (1982–[[Christopher's name change|1992]]) <br> Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's name change|1992]]–2016) <br> Christine Weston Chandler (2016–present)<br />
| aliases = Chris-Chan<br>Chris Chan<br>CWC<br>[[Bob Chandler|Little C]]<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo]]<br>[[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|RWC]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Father]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Pop]]<br> [[Rosechu (character)|Papa]]<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>[[Liquid Chris|Solid Chris]]<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>Little Cuz<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]]<ref>[[:File:Kookydash.png]]</ref><br>[[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]<br>[[Facebook|Tini]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|paintingatree]]<br>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br>[[Night Star]]<br>[[CPU Blue Heart]]<br>[[CWC Psychlight]]<br>[[Kiwi Farms|LegendaryChristorian]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)]]<br>[[Internet Dream Lounge|Natalie Portman]]<br>[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Grandma Christine]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mother]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mama]]<br>[[:File:Princess Fehuni Hitikara TSSSF.jpg|Princess Fehuni Hitikara]]<br>[[Spirit possession|Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Jesus Christ]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Camera #000]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|Christine Chan Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Communications|Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 9 December 2021|Jesus Christ Chan]]<br>[[Jail Call - 13 January 2022|Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu]]<br>The Teflon Tard<br />
|month=2<br />
|day=24<br />
|gender=[[JERKS|Male]] (1982–2016)<br>[[Transgender|Transwoman]] (2016–present)<br />
|nation=[[United States|American]]<br />
|religion="[[Chris and religion|Neo Spiritual Christianity]]"<br />
|race=White (1/8<sup>th</sup> "[[Cherokian]]")<br />
|label8=Height<br />
|ft=5<br />
|in=10<br />
|heightsrc=<ref name=16novletter>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref><br />
|lb=203 <br />
|weightsrc=<ref name=16novletter></ref><br />
|father = [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)<br />
|mother = [[Barbara Chandler]] (1941–present)<br />
|siblings = [[Cole Smithey]] (half-brother)<br>[[David Alan Chandler]] (half-brother)<br>[[Carol Chandler]] (half-sister)<br />
|education = [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (AAS, [[CADD]])<br />
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist ([[Lulu|self-published]])<br>Video game designer (unpublished)<br>[[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]])<br>[[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]])<br>[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Musician]] ([[2003]]-[[2009]])<br>([[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)<br>Entrepreneur, [[Chris and business|Cwcville Shopping]] ([[2014]]–[[2016]])<br>[[Stephanie Bustcakes|Prostitute]] ([[2016]], unpaid)<br />
|spouse = [[Cryzel Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] (m. March 2018) <br> [[Sylvana]] Rosechu, [[Mewtwo]] (m. June 2018) <br> and [[Pickchu]] (m. May 2022)<ref>[[:File:Miss Cherry asks Chris about his marriages.png]]</ref><br />
|titles = Sonichu Creator<br>Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu<br>[[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]] of the Nations of [[Cwcville]], Comma, and the [[Commodore 64|Commodore Consoles]]<ref>https://archive.fo/v5aVW</ref><br>The Queen of Modern Laughter<ref>[[Internet Dream Lounge#Outro .281:12:27-1:16:25.29]]</ref><br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|The Real Player One]]<br><br />
<!--Do NOT include saga denotation templates in this infobox, as Chris has been involved in all sagas, and is the main subject of the CWCki--><br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[megan|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with paranoia, [[Kacey Call 1|deception]], [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|blackmail]] and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], AKA Chris.<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#We've been found AND mocked horribly! :(]]</ref>}}<br />
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{{quote|Behold, the Mistake of God!|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on Chris.}}<br />
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'''Christine Weston Chandler''', formerly '''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born: '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''; 24 February [[1982]]) is a {{Age|1982|2|24}}-year-old [[Autism|autistic]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|mentally ill]]<ref>Confirmed by placement in the [[Therapeutic Docket]].</ref> [[JERKS|misandrist]], [[Women's rights|misogynist]], former [[virgin with rage]], self-proclaimed [[CPU Blue Heart|deity]], and [[Affair with Mother|accused sex offender]]. He is commonly referred to by his nickname '''Chris-Chan''' (properly spelled with a hyphen, though this is often omitted), by his initials '''CWC''', or simply the gender-neutral '''Chris'''. He looks kind of like a cartoon version of {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} come to life, and is considered to be one of the most well-known and well-documented lolcows in internet culture – if not one of the most well-documented people in history.<br />
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Some would consider Chris to be a celebrity, but he hasn't sold a multi-platinum [[Chris and music|album]], nor has he been awarded with an [[Chris and cinematography|Oscar]]. Instead, he is the [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which ostensibly tells the story of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] and their adventures with the [[Chaotic Combo]]. In practice, the webcomic really serves as [[Chris and coping#Power fantasies|wish fulfillment]] for Chris himself, allowing him to express his dissatisfaction with how [[Mary Lee Walsh|the faculty at school and college]] didn't acknowledge [[Honor roll|what he saw as an exemplary academic performance]] [[Count Graduon|when he graduated]], along with his frustration over [[Love Quest|being unable to find a romantic partner]]; as such, the book let him redirect his [[Chris and anger|anger]] toward [[Jerkop|the people who]] [[Manajerks|impeded his journey]], casting them as villains and himself as [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|a true Campbellian hero]] in his narrative. After completing his education, Chris was unemployed for most of his adult life, making a living off of [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] and [[Patreon|donations]] from his webcomic's [[True and Loyal Fanbase]].<br />
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In late [[2007]], he became [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]-famous when images of him at [[The GAMe PLACe|a tabletop gaming store]] leaked out to the {{w|Something Awful}} message boards. Upon discovery, Chris was mocked for his [[Chris and fashion|odd fashion sense]] and [[Obesity|oafish appearance]], and images of Chris at the store soon spread to places like [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and in the process, many [[trolls]] were exposed to his webcomic for the first time, propelling Chris to stardom. Initial fascination was spurred on by his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]], his signature homemade [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] that he wore in public, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] asking women to talk to him. [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|His reaction to the ensuing mockery]] led to a cycle of [[Honest Content|Chris revealing more disturbing facts about himself]] and [[Chris and manipulation|trolls going to greater and greater lengths to uncover more knowledge about this strange individual]]. Thus, Chris's life began to spiral out of control with the advent of organized trolling, [[Chris and...|armchair psychological analysis]] from bewildered onlookers, and some truly bizarre antics from Chris that continue to this day, which would influence the development of the webcomic whenever he got around to updating it.<br />
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Chris's most notable period of activity on the internet occurred between 2007 and 2010 – a period now dubbed [[Saga#Classic Chris Era (27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010)|the "Classic Era"]] by modern Christorians – in which he was repeatedly catfished by trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|romantic interests]], and he lashed out against arch-enemy [[Clyde Cash]], the leader of the most notable group of trolls in his life: [[Trolls#The Miscreants|The Miscreants]]. In this time, [[Julie Reveals Herself|he was duped by]] [[BlueSpike|a sadistic 13-year-old]] [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|into stuffing his medallion up his ass]], [[Liquid Chris|he had his identity stolen by a far more talented individual]], [[Asperchu|and he had ''Sonichu'' mercilessly spoofed by a webcomic team that designed a story to piss him off]], among other misadventures. However, he eventually decided to sign off from the Internet at the end of this period, seemingly wising up to his dang dirty trolls. When he inevitably returned to the limelight a few months later in 2011, he was not the same. [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris began to experiment with crossdressing, calling himself a "Tomgirl"]], before eventually coming out as [[transgender]] in late 2014.<br />
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From here, Chris's internet life stayed relatively normal (by his standards), despite his shift in gender identity, his father's death (which led to the retirement of the Miscreants), [[28 October 2011|a hit-and-run case]], [[2014 house fire|the accident that caused his house to burn down]], and [[26 December 2014|an incident where he maced an employee at a GameStop store]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of Sonic's arms]]. Things changed when two new sets of trolls – known as the [[Idea Guys]] and the [[Teen Troon Squad]] – [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] him with increasingly-insane beliefs (such as the idea that he and both of his parents are [[Sonichu (species)|half-Sonichu]] or [[Rosechu (species)|half-Rosechu]]), culminating in [[Chris and reality|Chris's revelation]] that he was [[CPU Blue Heart|a goddess]] meant to bring about [[Dimensional Merge|a convergence of dimensions]] between [[Dimensions#C-197|the world shown in his webcomic]] and our world, effectively starting a doomsday cult around what started as a silly, self-indulgent ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'' crossover. Afterward, Chris used [[Messiah complex|this delusion]] as an elaborate [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism while he continued his self-destructive habits.<br />
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Despite the trolls in question being driven out by the effort of the [[Guard Dogs]] trying to keep Chris from going further down a path of ruination (and to keep him from embarrassing himself any more), Chris chose to keep clinging to these unhealthy and downright absurd beliefs. All the while, Chris's [[Chris and health|physical]] and [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]] withered away, and [[Financhu Crisis|money became a serious issue for the Chandler household]], while Chris's mother isn't long for this world, all of which led Chris to retreat even further into his fantasies. It got to the point where [[Spirit possession|he pretended to be possessed by various fictional characters]] on a regular basis, with one nearly year-long period of "possession" by Sonichu serving as a way for Chris to cope with the fact that he wasn't able to attend [[BABSCon|two ''My Little Pony'' conventions]] that had been cancelled during the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. The point of no return was finally crossed in [[2021]], after the [[Incest Call]] revealed that [[Affair with Mother|he had several incestuous encounters with his mother]], which forcibly evicted him from [[14 Branchland Court|his own home]] and sent him to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which became his most publicized incident in years. During that time, [[Jail Communications|letters from jail]] illustrate that he went even deeper into his own fantasies by believing himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus Christ}} reincarnated. Chris was later transferred to the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution for three months before returning to jail, until he was released in [[March 2023]].<br />
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There has never been an internet personality quite like Chris-Chan, thanks to the unique circumstances shaping his peculiar behavior and subsequently leading to his prominence online, and there may never be another quite like him – he is truly one of a kind. It is the dedicated mission of [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to chronicle his life in ridiculous detail, and if you want to go down the seemingly bottomless rabbit hole with us, then you should probably start by reading this page. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long ride, and the end is nowhere in sight.<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
{{Protip|The CWCki has opted to use masculine pronouns to describe Chris, even post-transition, for the purpose of keeping consistent with records from before 2014 and not causing additional confusion for readers.<br />
<br />
Be aware that not all Christorians accept this approach, with some opting to describe Chris exclusively with feminine pronouns after Chris identified as a transwoman, and others compromising by using gender-neutral pronouns, or pronouns applicable to various points in Chris's life reflecting Chris's gender identity at the time.<br />
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Chris's legal name is currently Christine, but the nickname Chris is gender-neutral and can abbreviate every full name Chris has identified by. Chris has accepted it as a nickname despite formerly objecting to it post-transition.<br />
<br />
In any case, Chris is legally registered as female and has taken hormones to transition, but has not undergone gender reassignment surgery, and most likely never will.}}<br />
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{{quote|He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all.|An anonymous [[University of Virginia]] student making an observation about Chris.<ref><br />
[https://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html "glass house"], a post from LiveJournal user thereisbeautyin.</ref>}}<br />
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[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]<br />
[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]<br />
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Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified [[Transgender|transwoman]] with delusional tendencies who has been allowed – by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] – to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Even into his forties, Chris remains so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to societal norms. He has regularly demonstrated trouble displaying acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the law|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in any meaningful way. Although the public school system forced Chris to face [[reality]], graduation has allowed him to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities, opting instead to stick to the comfort of living at home and subsisting off of taxpayer dollars. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]] (commissions and multi-level marketing aside), and he hasn't been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. It is likely Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the <s>begging</s> generous donations, and the fact he has flat out said his autism prevents him from getting a job (in spite of there being many social services available to help people with disabilities find work). Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Perspective on Chris's social life]]</ref>.<br />
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[[File:SympathyForChris.png|thumb|left|An approximate graph which correlates knowledge about Chris to sympathy towards him.]]<br />
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Chris is completely obsessed with his OC and the associated comic, to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation; the medallion disappeared for a time, but returned in [[September 2010]]. At the same time, he was absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making ''Sonichu'' games is that they're either tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working for them. For a while, Chris had operated an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for $30 apiece. After the eBay shop became a mild success, he moved to Etsy, but his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.<br />
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Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stared at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; throughout his early Internet history, he appeared to be deeply insecure about his gender and sexuality. Even prior to his gender transition, he has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and only reined in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly crossdress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproved. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgments on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> His homophobia did not extend to lesbians, whom he is aroused by. Over time, Chris dropped his homophobic tendencies, [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|apologized in 2015]] and supports what he calls the [[SLGBTQ]] spectrum. In [[2018]], the [[Idea Guys]] [[brainwashed]] Chris into identifying as bisexual.<br />
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His adult life has been largely defined by his goals of developing ''Sonichu'' into a hit media franchise to find financial success (or at least get his [[debt]]s under control), his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, his gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman. Later, Chris developed a [[Messiah complex]], believing himself to be [[Chris and religion|a reincarnation of Jesus Christ]] that is destined to facilitate a [[Dimensional Merge]] between fiction and reality.<br />
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==Aliases==<br />
{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[Chris and religion|God]] [[Christopher's name change|and the bear]] has given me throughout my whole life. The current full name of Christian Weston Chandler, my first name being Christopher and my Spanish nickname being Ricardo. But in the end, just call me the full name, Christian Weston Chandler.|[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Chris making demands of]] [[Liquid Chris|his impostor]], years before legally changing his name to "Christine".}}<br />
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[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Chris's self-portrait, complete with [[The Classic]] and [[Medallions#Sonichu Medallion|the Sonichu Medallion]], circa 2007. {{w|Ozymandias|"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"}}]]<br />
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|right|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's hand-drawn representation of himself.]]]]<br />
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Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]" that misheard his name, which he interpreted as a sign from God. During the mid-2000s, Chris adopted the nickname "Chris-Chan", a play on his surname and the {{w|Japanese honorifics#Chan|Japanese honorific suffix ''-chan''}}, which according to Wikipedia "is used for young children, close friends, babies, grandparents and sometimes female adolescents". Chris was exposed to this honorific through [[anime]] shows like ''{{w|Crayon Shin-chan}}'' and ''{{w|Super Milk Chan}}''. The name "Chris-Chan" is often mistakenly spelled without a hyphen as "Chris Chan", as if Chris had named himself after {{w|Jackie Chan}}. [[Autism|Unusually]], before his gender transition Chris would often refer to himself by his full name, or if he was feeling especially formal as "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is [[Chris and his ego|unusually proud]] of his initials "CWC", and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]] and [[CWC Dare]].<br />
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Shortly after declaring himself a [[transgender]] lesbian, Chris started introducing himself as "Christine". In May 2016, he successfully filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref>[[:File:Court Record - 2016 Name Change from Christian to Christine (Chris, CL16000067-00).png]]</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> He now signs his name with "heart i's". Legal documents refer to him as Christine Chandler,<ref>[[:File:Trespass case 2018.png]]</ref> except for civil cases, in which he hadn't updated his name change information with plaintiffs.<ref>[[:Image:Court Record - 2019 Midland Funding Debt Case, Garnishment (Chris, GV18000451-01).png]]</ref> [[CWCki|This wiki]], however, refers to him as Chris for consistency.<br />
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[[File:Cwc bronycon 2017 1.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris first identified by the name Christine in late 2014 before getting a legal name-change in 2016.]]<br />
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Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and long after then he would still translate his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't replace your own name with something completely different when speaking in another language. At times he would go so far as to announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to identify himself precisely. In recent times, Chris has forgone stating his middle name, former names, and Spanish nickname in videos; now he usually leads with just "Christine Chandler". (Chris has never come up with a feminine counterpart to his "Ricardo" nickname, or any other Spanish-sounding replacement.)<br />
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Occasionally, Chris would use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. As Chris grew even more unhinged in 2017 and fell under the [[Idea Guys]]'s sway in 2018, he would conflate himself even further with his fantastic inventions to the point where he unofficially added "Sonichu" to the end of his name (although this is not recognized as a legal name change, unlike "Christian" or "Christine" in previous years), to account for his later belief that he is actually half-Sonichu in real life following several rounds of brainwashing. Other modern names for himself include [[CPU Blue Heart]] and [[Night Star]], his self-inserts for the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchises respectively. In contexts when he wants to be especially grandiose, he might append his various fictional alter egos to his name, much as he would list his former names in the past.<br />
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Only a few of the names commonly used to refer to Chris were not invented by Chris himself. One of the most notable ones is "Chrissy", popularized by [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen Van Dierten]] oddly enough, trying to mockingly feminize Chris's name seemed to predict his eventual interest in crossdressing and later interest in becoming transgender. [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], which was derived from Chris's IBAChandler [[YouTube]] account, was popularized by [[Liquid Chris]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|much to Chris's angst]]. Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of [[Metal Gear|a certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent on Earth". Users of [[Kiwi Farms]] have coined the term "Classic Chris" to refer to Chris before Bob's death and/or before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], with "Modern Chris" being used to describe his more recent antics.<br />
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==Foundational Era==<br />
{{quote|The most important parting words I can leave you with - well, are to always remember this. You show people where your [[Kick the Autistic|weak points]] are located, then [[Trolls|they]] will know how to [[Chris and anger|push your button]]. If you never show them, they will never know.|[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] giving Chris valuable advice that he, unfortunately, did not follow.}}<br />
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Christopher Weston Chandler was born on 24 February 1982 at {{w|Martha Jefferson Hospital}} in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref> His parents, [[Borb|Robert and Barbara]], worked as a engineer at Western Electric (later General Electric) and a office worker at Virginia Power, respectively. Although little is known about Chris's toddler years, the [[Autism papers]] revealed that he was delayed in his language ability, which became his first sign of [[autism]].<br />
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===Childhood and Adolescence===<br />
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan... in a {{w|Pogs|pog}} form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]<br />
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Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true – the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.<br />
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An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a toy room at an early age after turning all the lights off, an event he described as being intensely traumatic for him.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> (Chris apparently missed the irony of the fact that he regularly locked himself in a room, surrounded by toys, for much of his adult life.) He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism (which is wishful thinking on Chris's part, considering that autism is a genetic condition that isn't triggered by external trauma). Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> However, Chris was able to meet these cognitive milestones in time.<br />
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During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl – if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance). In [[1992]], noted ursine conductor [[Leonard Bearstein]] misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.<br />
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Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /><br />
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At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to the general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has also led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.<br />
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.<br />
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].<br />
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br><br />
{{collapsible<br />
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Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg<br />
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Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg<br />
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg<br />
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg<br />
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</gallery>}}<br />
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[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[Semen|cups]].]]<br />
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[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]<br />
<br />
Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu, the latter of which was created for a class project simply because he couldn't use [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted characters]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20161008083333/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> (The irony that Chris's own solution to that problem was to merge two copyrighted characters into a new character is somehow still lost on him, even to this day.) After inventing his ''magnum opus'' with the character of Sonichu, Chris began to incorporate his [[OCs|original character]] into everything that he could, although his passion for his character wouldn't truly surface until college.<br />
<br />
Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris became despondent and stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" despite his autism, ignoring the likelihood that the artistic achievements of his peers were simply better. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult, a phase of his life that his parents had not properly prepared him for.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.<br />
<br />
Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any other aspect of his life, and has unfortunately even regressed in several key areas as he gets older. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him. [[Chris and nostalgia|Chris still pines for "better days"]] in spite of his current belief system hypothetically leaving him in a better place than he ever was in high school. As you might imagine, this is precisely because things didn't get much better for Chris after finishing school.<br />
<br><br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Chris's award-winning artwork<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
<br />
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.<br />
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.<br />
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.<br />
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.<br />
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...<br />
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.<br />
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight – look at it and you'll want to vomit.<br />
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br><br />
<br />
===Adult Chronicles===<br />
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref><br />
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.<br />
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Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]]. <br />
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[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]<br />
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After college and completing his education, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. He would not make any serious attempts to seek out a career from graduation onward, in spite of attaining a degree that could probably net him a decent-paying (and relatively undemanding) career that would likely grant him more opportunities than sitting at home playing video games ever could.<br />
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In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her (a habit that got so bad that [[Megan emails, 2005-2006#Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals|Megan later equated it to sexual harassment]]).<br />
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In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.<br />
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It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue, the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures. Little would Chris know, however, that his life was about to permanently change as a result writing and drawing of his magnum opus.<br />
<br />
==Classic Era==<br />
{{main|2007|2008|2009|2010}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want... I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead.|[[Kacey]], accurately predicting how stagnant Chris's life would be after [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|breaking up with him]].}}<br />
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[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]. He was duped into wearing his mom's underwear by [[Blanca Weiss]].]]<br />
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]<br />
<br />
Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. He was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed an unrelated conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris. A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref> Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then, and shockingly enough, Chris himself shoulders some of the blame for why that is.<br />
<br />
Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time, giving the trolls justification to continue their war against Chris in the process. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.<br />
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[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]<br />
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]], making [[April 16 Fetish Vids|fetish videos]] for [[Ivy]].]]<br />
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In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], ironically guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would, in turn, encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses [[Honest Content|where he would reveal more information about himself]].<br />
<br />
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of lulz. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general, opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.<br />
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By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals, and that any and all trolls were a vocal minority on his way to fame and fortune. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga. All the while, the editors and administrators working at Encyclopedia Dramatica and the CWCki maintained a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris could not get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.<br />
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Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: that his internet presence and the toxic cycle of exposing something about himself, getting exploited or otherwise made fun of by trolls, and reacting poorly to said trolling was having a detrimental effect upon his mental health and social life, with every new video that he created exasperating the problem. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. For a time, it looked like Chris was learning from his experiences and was making an effort to improve his own lot in life.<br />
<br />
In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. It initially appeared that Chris was making a positive lifestyle change, but alas, it was quickly discovered that his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he announced retirement from social media. Instead of investing his time into more productive activities or improving on his social skills, Chris spent much more time playing video games and otherwise doing what he had been doing when he did engage with trolls. In a predictable fashion, he ultimately forgot anything that he might have learned from his experiences of [[Kick the Autistic|being one of the internet's biggest punching bags]], and he subsequently returned to making new videos starting on [[August 2011]]... Albeit with a pretty big change in how he presented himself online.<br />
<br />
==Crossdresser Era==<br />
{{main|2011|2012|2013|2014}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I Seriously Have Been [[Chris and English|PUBLICALY]] INVISIBLE for YEARS! The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids; mentally and emotionally raped me continuously; made the worst imaginable reputation of me on the Internet, AND relayed THAT into OFFLINE LIFE in gossip, rumors, and presidentially grand Fucked-Up Campaigns!!!|[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Chris vents on Facebook]] after years of trolling take their toll.}}<br />
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[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2011]] in one of the first [[Tomgirl Pictures]]. This photo was also taken near the time of his father's death.]]<br />
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[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2012]].]]<br />
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Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of crossdressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown crossdresser (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seemed to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia, transphobia, and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and became more extreme in late 2014 and the years that followed. As mentioned previously, Chris would slowly but surely walk back his anti-LGBT stances.<br />
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[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2013]].]]<br />
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In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 80s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health and declining mentality are considered.<br />
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After Bob's death, Chris generally ceased interacting with trolls, seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to. Instead, Chris lapsed into a deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of the family tragedy, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the [[Chris and anger|bellicose]], [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric man-child that the world had come to know and love. For many, it became apparent that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] were over, and several moved on. The Golden Age of Chris-Chan was over.<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]<br />
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[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2015]], cosplaying as [[Vinyl Scratch]], AKA [[My Little Pony|DJ-PON3]].]]<br />
<br />
Nonetheless, the surviving Chandlers still managed to be drama magnets in their own neighborhood. In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. (Chris had presumed that the store's new management meant that Snyder may no longer work there, thus giving Chris a chance to potentially revisit his old haunt. When this proved to not be the case, the both Chandlers hit Snyder with a car.) The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. Much of the money that Bob left behind was used to pay for legal expenses.<br />
<br />
While awaiting trial, Chris was worried that he may die a virgin if he were to go to prison, and so looked for ways to have at least one sexual encounter before a worst-case scenario could come to pass. [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true... [[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. Chris reneged on the "true love" part of his [[Love Quest]] and skipped straight to the point, which seemed to satisfy him in the short run but otherwise wasn't a life-changing experience for him. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]] and spent less time online than usual.<br />
<br />
[[2013]] saw Chris's online presence more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he had left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Walmart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the "stress" taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him – he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.<br />
<br />
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior. <br />
<br />
At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when an extension cord leading from the bathroom to a coffee maker in the hallway – which was placed in such a location due to the nature of Barb's compulsive hoarding habits, and had become frayed due to the constant closing of the door – sparked and [[2014 house fire|set the house on fire]].<ref>[[BraveryJerk Interviews]]</ref> While no human was seriously harmed, one of the [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Some of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Bob's huge record collection.<br />
<br />
Chris and his mother ran into [[Chris and money|acute]] [[Debt|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|difficulties]] as a result of the house fire on top of their existing income issues, and Chris had spent most of the year alternating between begging for money and taking commissions to make more of his artwork on Facebook, and selling autographed photos of himself on eBay ([[Trolls|with it being pretty clear who most of his patrons were]]). Despite the severity of the Chandler family's financial issues, Chris chose to blow literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]] instead of working to resolve his debts. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]], who purchased these items as a means to keep a roof over Chris's head.<br />
<br />
In July, Chris was catfished once more by a new sweetheart named [[Catherine]] after meeting her through [[OKCupid]]. She met up with him in Ruckersville and surreptitiously recorded his conversations. The relationship lasted through the end of the year, and through this process, it was learned that Chris [[Un-clit|pierced his taint]], with other media tied to Chris's life leaking as Catherine and cooperating trolls uncovered more details about his then-current life and mindset.<br />
<br />
[[Transgender|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of pickles in general. Chris also took up swanning around attending LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingled with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before Chris would make a more serious commitment to his lifestyle change when he officially began to transition.<br />
<br />
==Transgender Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2014|2015|2016|2017}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|The future shock... Me? Actually a woman? It is a lot to process. But as I recall my past, I remember in high school, my habits and nature were recognized as most feminine. And in comparing it to my experiences with the masculine, I find I actually don't like such brutish things. And looking deep in my heart and soul, [[Chris and gender|I actually find I feel more woman than the male I was born as.]] And the more I open myself to that [[Chris and English|plausible]]... I truly feel more at peace with myself. [[Chris and his ego|I love me.]] '''[[The Incredible Lioness|I am woman! Roar!]]'''|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's fictionalized counterpart]] explaining his philosophy before becoming [[transgender]] in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris in [[2016]].]]<br />
<br />
In early December 2014, Chris informed those closest to him to start referring him with female pronouns, indicating his desire to go from being a crossdresser to becoming transgender. This era started with a bang when, in December, Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. On top of this, Chris subsequently caused another ruckus at Walmart, just in case you started feeling bad for him after being duped by yet another fake girlfriend. Chris ultimately spent a night in the slammer, and following a lengthy legal process, got off with a $541 fine and a six-month suspended sentence.<br />
<br />
More generally, 2015 saw Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon hedgehog]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He indicated in several Facebook posts that he was still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; for some time, he yo-yoed between wanting to remain a crossdresser and wanting to transition into womanhood.<br />
<br />
Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016:<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable"<br />
|Original <br />
|Sequel<br />
|-<br />
|[[Recycling]]<br />
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]<br />
|[[Lesbian Sex Audition]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[Carlos Chantor]]<br />
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[Un-clit]]<br />
|[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
[[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2017, donning his [[unicorn cosplay]] at [[Cville Pride]].]]<br />
<br />
In addition, Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards of things that they could sell were clearly visible behind them. The [[Business]] saga was suspended when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".<br />
<br />
His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]]. He also made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.<br />
<br />
[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|left|Chris with the Teen Troon Squad in [[2018]].]]<br />
<br />
In [[2017]], the Financhu Crisis continued to stress the Chandlers. Chris offered pieces of his late father's stamp collection, the [[Sonic Totem]] and [[The Classic]] for sale in order to afford more toys, a [[$400 gold necklace]] for Barb, and the extremely costly expenses for his [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle prizes]]. He and Barb also continued begging. One of his friends from [[The End Games]] Pokémon Club grew concerned and gave him solid advice on how to apply for work through Virginia's DARS program – and in true Chris fashion, instead of following it, he went on an angry tirade. Later in the year, he was sued for failure to pay a debt to Mariner Finance.<br />
<br />
Chris rediscovered Twitter in March. His frequent tweets to voice actresses lead to the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] saga – in which he was chastised for calling her [[darling]], but doubled down on it and was subsequently blocked by her – and getting blocked by ''My Little Pony'' VA [[Tabitha St. Germain]] due to her getting constantly tagged by Chris and the [[weens]] orbiting him. He created sockpuppet accounts [[NightStar2891]] to plead his case and [[TwiSparLicious]] to ban-evade, which failed.<br />
<br />
He briefly joined the [[Kiwi Farms]] forum under the name LegendaryChristorian and held a Q&A session.<br />
<br />
A high point for his social life was attending [[BronyCon]], at which he enjoyed attention from [[fans]]. He also attended LGBT events such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] (where he was interviewed on TV), [[Cville Pride]] (where he was photographed by news in crowd shots), and [[Love is Love]].<br />
<br />
Chris resumed the [[Business]] saga halfway through the year by going back to work on the [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] comic he had abandoned in 2015, by placing pages behind [[Patreon]]. He also again offered books for sale, self-published by [[Lulu]], was paid to be interviewed by [[Merryweathery]] and [[CopperCab]], and joined [[Redbubble]]. After eight years, he finally completed #11, and moved onto #12, which he completed after a few months. He began work on [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] and [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]], but got distracted. His Patreon efforts also began to languish around October, when patrons complained that he hadn't been sending out books.<br />
<br />
Another sweetheart saga took place in the fall. [[Jessica Quinn]], a long-time white knight, suddenly turned troll by pretending she had fallen in love with him. She broke up with him twice, the first time he cried on camera for her to take him back, and the final time, [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|he raged on video against the trolls he thought were to blame]]. He recovered quickly after drowning his sorrows at an ice cream shop.<br />
<br />
==Goddess Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2017|2018|2019|2020|2021}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], have tried and kept on and continuing on until that day in the new [[COVID-19|Pandemic-Free]] version of this, the Omega Timeline – 'cause I'm going back in time with this body, after I get back to [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] – finally return this body to mama in the new timeline at [[BABSCon]]. I tell you all, as overpowered a soul I am – in my own body that I was used to and accustomed with and everything – I, Sonichu, am unable to do Mama's job as good as only she, our OG Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, of [[Dimensions#1218|Earths 1218]] and C-197, can do. [[Chris and work|This work]], [[Obesity|her body]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|her brain]], [[Chris and reality|her Goddess-level overpowers and abilities]]; [[PsychicPowers|they're all literally tailored and custom-made only for her]]... [[Messiah complex|All praise, prayers, and power to our Goddess of 1218 and C-197: Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu!]]|Chris, [[Spirit possession|pretending to be Sonichu]], [[Goochland Library Sermon|completely going off of the deep end]] while talking about the [[Dimensional Merge]].}}<br />
<br />
[[File:CWC 11 February 2019.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in 2019 with [[Lego|a custom LEGO minifigure]] representing his [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|godsona]], [[CPU Blue Heart]].]]<br />
<br />
After [[Heart level|having his heart shattered]] yet again, another troll, the [[Idea Guys|Idea Guy]], began to influence Chris by role-playing as his [[imaginary friends]] and convincing him that he was providing information from [[CWCville]]'s dimension, which Chris accepted out of having his fantasy world validated; along the way, another Idea Guy joined with the first. Together, they used their influence over Chris's beliefs to [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwash Chris into believing several things about himself]], such as the idea that he was [[bisexual]] and half-Sonichu, which ultimately culminated in Chris developing a [[Messiah complex]] derived from [[Dimensions|his own delusions about the nature of reality]] and the lore of ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.<br />
<br />
[[File:Praetor5.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2020, moments before [[Goochland Library Sermon|giving a sermon]] of the allegedly imminent [[Dimensional Merge]].]]<br />
<br />
When it was learned that the Idea Guys were extorting Chris, who was already facing financial difficulties, [[The Captain]] and [[Marvin]] intervened, forcing the Idea Guys out from Chris's life over the course of the subsequent months, however Chris retained much of the Idea Guys' brainwashing. The Captain, Marvin, and [[Null]] a group termed by onlookers as the [[Guard Dogs]], attempted to protect Chris from further bad actors by screening his messages, however, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] managed to evade them by meeting with Chris in person. The Guard Dogs alleged them to have role-played as Chris's imaginary friend [[Magi-Chan]] and Chris's retreated more into his fantasy world while under their enabling influence, although they stopped contacting Chris when they saw what happened to the Idea Guys.<br />
<br />
Chris repeatedly denounced the Idea Guys for financially exploiting him, but the damage was done to his psyche: Chris bought into the fantasy that he was a goddess as a new coping mechanism, and his already-shaky grasp on reality hit rock bottom. Chris's new beliefs led him to seek a hippie makeover befitting of his supposed [[PsychicPowers|psychic prowess]], and he retreated further into his fantasies, generally refusing to engage with people who wouldn't entertain them. Chris eventually turned on Null, thanks to the influence of other trolls – chief among them, [[Jacob Sockness]], who sought to sexually exploit Chris. The Guard Dogs realized that there was nothing that they could do for a Chris who refused to listen, and disbanded, but a new group, known as the [[Watchmen]] (who [[Enablers|enabled some of Chris's fantasies]] out of pragmatism), sought to keep Chris from further embarrassing or endangering himself, successfully getting him away from Sockness before he could do any harm to Chris.<br />
<br />
Throughout all of this, Chris's belief in the Dimensional Merge has not wavered. When it didn't arrive on the prophesized date of {{w|Jonestown|November 18, 2018}}, Chris did what all doomsday cultists and religious fundamentalists did whenever the apocalypse didn't happen: push it back again and again. Not helping matters was the advent of [[COVID-19]], which Chris saw as a sign of the Dimensional Merge's progress alongside all the other insane crap that happened in the year 2020. For Chris, things really took a turn for the worse when [[BABSCon]] got canceled, and he began an elaborate coping scheme to [[Spirit possession|live-action roleplay as Sonichu]] until he could attend ''[[My Little Pony]]'' conventions again, which will not happen until 2022 at the earliest. Chris spent nearly eleven months pretending to be his [[OCs|original character]], with very few interruptions, before eventually reverting to being himself again on 25 February 2021, [[KwaiiSandbag calls|thanks to the intervention of an enabler]], to personally oppose news about the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G5 reboot.<br />
<br />
During this time, Chris's appearance visibly aged significantly, with his hair turning grey. He's also seemingly lost a bit of weight, not due to improving his diet and leading a less sedentary lifestyle, but due to a decline in muscular mass. This is likely a result of the effects of the hormones that he has applied to treat his gender dysphoria, alongside his declining physical health due to his various poor life decisions. In addition to his existing health problems, he's also [[Chris and drugs|taken up drinking to excess and even smoking weed on occasion]], which both do his so-called "overpowered" goddess body absolutely no favors. Compared to [[Megan Schroeder]], who is four years younger than he is and currently looks pretty close to how she did in photographs with Chris about thirteen years ago, Chris now looks like he could now pass for her aunt or uncle. Chris also continued to be influenced by enablers such as [[Larry Vaughn]], [[KwaiiSandbag]], and [[Praetor]], the last of which is a group that seeks to exploit his infamy for sales revenue. The [[Watchmen]], an enabler/white knight group, splintered following internal conflict among its members.<br />
<br />
==Downfall Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2021|2022|2023|Affair with Mother|Jail Saga}}<br />
{{quote|So there you go, chat: the [[Dimensional Merge]] is happening right fucking now! Chris, our boy Chris, bravo! Bravo, brave young man! I guess you could say, uh, that [[Chris and sex#Incest|he really, really came into his own]]. And in case it's not already fucking obvious, [[Jail Saga|Chris is going to jail]]. So we'll see how that works out. Best of luck Chris! [[It's UGH!|Don't drop the soap]], buddy. The world you lived in was just a fantasyland, but [[Chris and reality|reality]]... Reality is [[Affair with Mother|a motherfucker]].|A deepfake of Mister Metokur.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saeC2T4Be8k</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|right|400px|{{w|Capture of Saddam Hussein|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."}} Chris's arrest at a motel, filmed by fellow lolcow [[Ethan Ralph|Ethan "The Gunt" Ralph]].]]<br />
<br />
[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot_2.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Chris in 2021, anticipating a short stay in the slammer. {{w|Psycho (1960 film)|"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly!"}}]]<br />
<br />
After nearly a decade of a slow downward spiral in nearly all aspects of Chris's life following Bob's death, his future did not look particularly bright. By 2021, Chris had largely reduced his online activities to posting long [[Twitter]] threads of faux-philosophical ramblings reflecting his New Age Retro Hippie mindset, which bordered on being incomprehensible or [[Enablers|esoteric]]. At the same time, the Chandler family's debt steadily rose, largely due to Barb and her son's poor spending habits. In the extremely likely event that Chris outlives Barb, it was speculated that the situation would get worse for Chris with nobody to ground him in reality. Not to mention that Chris was virtually unemployable in any career after years of having every detail about his past leak out to the internet, and he hadn't made a real effort to get a job since his attempt to win [[Kacey]]'s heart, after his short-lived stints working at [[Wendy's|fast food joints]] or in [[Cutco|multi-level marketing]].<br />
<br />
However, there was fleetingly a period in which there was a degree of hope for Chris. Chris successfully reconciled with Null, who eventually helped organize a trip for Chris so that he could attend [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention, on the condition that [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Chris would complete commission work in exchange for his donations]]. Null believed this was a worthy effort to see if he could sustain himself as an adult through self-employment, particularly ahead of Barb's death. Chris actually kept up with these obligations, doing a considerable amount of work compared to previous months of less output. Had he kept his pace up post-convention, and with the right financial guidance, Chris could conceivably keep a roof over his head for at least another year. All seemed relatively normal for Chris as far as the post-Idea Guys status quo went, and some fans anticipated the possibility that Chris, now upset about MLP G5, would do something amusing at the convention as he prepared for the trip, just like old times.<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Chris in [[2022]], returned to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. What nine months behind bars does to [[Chris and sex#Incest|a motherfucker]].]]<br />
<br />
What happened next turned everything completely on its head. Chris would not, in fact, be going to Everfree Northwest. He would not be going to any future convention, for that matter, as the point of no return was finally passed after years of online infamy.<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|thumb|right|400px|[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|Chris spent time in protected custody during his jail stay.]] (Unlike this depiction, Barb obviously did not visit Chris due to the restraining order).]]<br />
<br />
On 29 July 2021, [[Incest Call|an audio recording of a conversation between Chris and the troll]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] surfaced online, featuring a graphic discussion in which [[Affair with Mother|Chris described sexual acts that he committed with his own mother]] – a felony – over the course of several weeks. While trolls joked about Chris potentially committing incest before, few actually believed that he was capable of acting on those impulses and taking advantage of an elderly (and possibly senile) woman. Once these details got out, nothing would ever be the same: he and Barb were separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], he had to vacate his only home due to a week-long protective order, he was very quickly banned from the convention that he'd hoped to attend, and his [[Patreon]] account – one of his few real sources of income – was taken down. Null quickly washed his hands of Chris for good, not only after learning that the audio leak was legitimate, but also when he realized that Chris effectively stole approximately $750 from Barb to [[Toys|fund his stay at a hotel]].<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris_mugshot_27_March_2023.png|thumb|left|150px|Chris in [[2023]], at the end of his stay in jail. Note [[Obesity|the weight loss]] compared to his first mugshot and Chris's improved mood compared to his second.]]<br />
<br />
Chris was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] on 1 [[August 2021]], an event which was live-streamed by [[Post-Merge Era|multiple orbiters]]. The incest revelation and the ensuing drama resulted in several people associated with Chris cutting ties with him – such as [[Don Lashomb]], [[The WCT]], and [[the Suitress]]. Other people continue to interact with Chris such as [[Kenneth Engelhardt]], [[Praetor]], [[Helena Fiorenza]], and [[Eels and the Eggman]]. Chris's actions during this time trended on social media, leading less internet-savvy netizens to either discover Chris for the first time or to rediscover him after years of fading into obscurity. The massive social media reaction to the news led to Chris's actions being covered by various news outlets – most notably, a dedicated segment on Fox News, which in turn exposed him to millions of retired, right-wing baby boomers.<br />
<br />
Chris spent the next several months in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] after being arrested by the Henrico County sheriff's department, awaiting a court hearing set for 28 [[July 2022]], following three continuances. While waiting in jail, Chris's [[Messiah complex|delusions of godhood]] have spiraled out of control as he now believes himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus of Nazareth}} reincarnated and the [[Dimensional Merge]] to be proceeding entirely as planned. During this time, Chris has kept in touch with the outside world via a multitude of [[Jail Communications]] discussing a variety of subjects, from his jail conditions to [[Chris and religion|his renewed interest in the Bible]] and [[Weening|ween]] attempts to convert him to Islam through reading the Qur'an. These letters and phone calls have also revealed that Chris has been kept in protective custody for his own safety.<br />
<br />
Early into [[March 2022]], it was learned that Chris was transferred out of jail into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution. During this time, Chris was isolated from the outside world; what he was up to while there will most likely remain unknown until his next hearing. He returned to [[CVRJ]] on [[May 2022|3 May 2022]], with a new mugshot taken upon his arrival, showing that Chris looks much more gaunt than before and has lost a substantial amount of weight. Unfortunately, subsequent mail correspondence indicates that his time away from jail has not caused him to face reality, sticking to his fantasies.<br />
<br />
On 28 [[July 2022]], only a day before the first anniversary of the leaking of the infamous incest call, Chris finally had his court hearing after three delays. In the process, it was determined that the case would be going before a grand jury for at least one felony incest charge. However, Chris's lawyer filed a motion for autism disorder deferred deposition. Following months of [[CWCki|excessive]] [[Kiwi Farms|online]] [[Orbiter Wave|interest]] in the case, Chris's lawyer eventually managed to convince the court to seal the case on 11 [[August 2022]], with "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" added to his case file. The exact meaning of these legal maneuvers remains unknown.<br />
<br />
After a long period of quiet, 27 [[March 2023]] shocked the internet when it was announced that Chris was released from jail. The exact circumstances leading to Chris's release from incarceration remain unclear at this time, along with the conditions for Chris to remain free. VineLink initially reported that he was bonded out<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023.png]]</ref> then updated to say he was released by court order.<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023 - 1 49 pm update.png]]</ref> Chris's current place of residence is similarly unclear, with the secrecy possibly being for Chris's own protection, although it is heavily speculated that Chris now resides in a group home. In any case, Chris has stayed off of social media since his release, [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|but has been spotted in public by a few observers]].<br />
<br />
==Future==<br />
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|[[Jail Saga#Arrest|Some of Chris's last spoken words recorded on video.]]}}<br />
<br />
Chris is legally prohibited from living in the same house as Barb<ref>[[Jail Letter - 21 July 2022]]</ref>. If speculation about Chris now residing in a [[Chris's homes#Post-Jail Residence|group home]] turns out to be true, he could conceivably spend the rest of his life there in the event that his Incest case continues dragging on and/or his mental state continues to decline. However, limited access to court details and other legal documentation makes speculating about Chris' legal future difficult. This is also to say nothing of [[Chris and health|his many, many existing issues with mental and physical health]]; both of which will continue to decay and show no sign of recovering anytime soon.<br />
<br />
In any case, Chris's story is one that seems fated to [[Chris and Death#Chris himself (1982–)|not have a happy ending]], with his life perhaps serving as a cautionary tale in the age of the internet. A tale of [[Borb|bad parenting]], [[Chris and socialization|social isolation]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|gullibility]], [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and work|laziness]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], [[Chris and sex|sexual deviancy]], and most importantly, a tale of the world witnessing in real-time the slow, painful degradation of another human being.<br />
<br />
==Featured Fan Videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story<br />
| ytid = DxAhBoYfWy4<br />
| Stardate = 20 November 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris Chan ~ Ruler of Everything<br />
| ytid = Wul6LgL8FvI<br />
| Stardate = 4 March 2021<br />
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIbrqVkPdL_5qrgjwHYytQg First Son]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] – Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.<br />
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] – Chris's furry alter ego.<br />
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].<br />
* [[User:Christianchandler]] – Chris's own CWCki account<br />
<br />
{{CWCipedia}}<br />
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the {{w|Internet Movie Database}}<br />
<br />
{{Newbie}}<br />
{{Check this out}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}} <br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}<br />
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]<br />
[[Category:Chris]]<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]<br />
[[Category:Homos]]<br />
[[Category:Autistic]]<br />
[[Category:LGBT]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Soul_Calibur&diff=309415Soul Calibur2023-07-26T01:46:40Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: Reworked this caption so it's more in line with the original SC2 tagline.</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Honest}}<br />
[[Image:SoulCalibur3box.jpg|thumb|[[Ivy]]'s namesake on the cover of ''Soul Calibur III'' (in the background)]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:Chrisreply3.PNG|thumb|Transcending [[Christory]] and the world, a tale of [[trolls]] and [[Unholy Tetrad|tards]], eternally retold.]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:Voldocwc.jpg|thumb|Chris's [[100 2265|Hamburglar]] [[cosplay]] recreated in Soul Calibur V.]]<br />
<br />
'''''Soul Calibur''''' (often written ''SoulCalibur'' or ''Soulcalibur'') is a weapon-fighting game franchise created by Namco. While the series has a hardcore following, it's also famous for being easy to pick up &ndash; perhaps too easy, if Chris is of any indication.<br />
<br />
==The series and Chris==<br />
Chris's favorite character is {{w|Cassandra Alexandra}},<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref> possibly for no other reason besides the fact that [[Women's rights|he favors attractive female characters]] in all other games. [[Mimms]] also said that he used Cassandra in [[Card games#UFS (Ultimate Fighting System) TCG|the UFS trading card game]]<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] encouraged him to stick with the "Greek girls" (Cassandra and {{w|Sophitia}}) in UFS<ref>[[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan is going to give Chris some stuff, appreciates him backing off]]</ref>.<br />
<br />
In the infamous facerape scene of [[Episode 17]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] seems to duplicate Sophitia's B+G throw, called "Angel's Heaven" (''Soul Edge'') or "Holy Cracker" (''Soulcalibur'' series proper). It could also be "Heaven to Hell," which can follow up this move. However, Sophitia's attacks had several advantages over Rosechu's attack. First, cracking the neck is generally faster and more lethal than clawing a head open and electrocuting the victim. Secondly, Sophitia cleverly performed this attack fully clothed, granting the series 16+ age ratings rather than Cannot Be Unseen ratings. Thirdly, Sophitia cleverly elected to ''not'' shout some of the most embarrassing battlecries in the history of feminism.<br />
<br />
Chris loved to create his enemies in ''{{w|Soul Calibur III}}'' and make pathetic videos where he struggles to beat them on the lowest difficulty setting. He has threatened to do this to various people, including the fan artist [[Evan]] and anyone who dared draw a [[pickle]] on his female cartoon characters.<br />
<br />
In the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' ad, Chris promises CWC and Sonichu-related DLC for ''{{w|Soul Calibur IV}}''. With the most advanced boob physics to date this series has seen, the public at large would probably rather ''not'' see that pack come to fruition. (Unless [[Mary Lee Walsh]] is included, naturally.)<br />
<br />
===Soul Megan===<br />
Apparently he and [[Megan Schroeder]] were dedicated players of the arcade version, too, judging by e-mails discussing the purchasing of horribly overpriced weapon and ability cards to be used with the coin-op game.<ref>[[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]</ref><br />
<br />
One aspect of Chris's Megan obsession included creating a character of Megan in the game, which reportedly gave her the creeps.<br />
<br />
{{Quote|And I don't like your "Megan Obsession" I don't like being [[Sailor Megtune|a character]] in [[Sonichu (comic)|your comics]]. I don't like how you made me a character in Soulcalibur and [[Animal Crossing]]. That kind of behavior really freaks me out.<ref>[[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
===Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh===<br />
{{Tardrage}}<br />
<br />
This video is notable for being the first known video Chris ever uploaded to YouTube.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20071109102857/http://www.youtube.com/user/Sonichu] </ref><br />
{{quote|The EPIC Battle between the High-Functioning [[Autism|Autistic]] Warrior who was only searching for TRUE LOVE, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|EVIL WITCH]] of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] who previously SHATTERED HIS HEART AND SOUL by making it OBVIOUS that it was ILLEGAL to have a [[Sweetheart]] of the opposite gender in Virginia... "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS]]!"}}<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = SOUL CALIBUR: Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh<br />
| ytid = rgEQINfsJSM<br />
| stardate = 1 [[May 2007]]<br />
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Violence|text}}<br />
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}<br />
| other = {{Direct Feed|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE#Watch|Christian Weston Chandler's <br> FUTURE MESSAGE]]<br />
| next = [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion's_Rap_Showdown#Master_Onion_A-La_Mode|Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[CWC Fighter]]<br />
*[[Ivy]], who got her name from {{w|Ivy Valentine}}<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref><br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]|nextlink=[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Master Onion A-La Mode]]|}}<br />
{{Game Videos}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-05-08]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=308062Weening2023-07-08T00:13:18Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* There are and always will be much better targets than Chris */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting [[BlueSpike|a ween]] attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200226105210/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens''' (not to be confused with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ween the alternative rock band]). A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[File:PeenWeen.png|thumb|A ween's "quest".]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and [[CWCville|where it takes place]] as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/49854/post-11683809 Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.]<br />
* [https://reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/10k8nj3/chris_chan_porn_video_gofundme/ Funding a pornographic film about Chris.]<br />
* [[:File:9zkfdgibmrxa1.png|Leaving one-star reviews on places Chris has visited because Chris visited them.]]<br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community through donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, making and sending him badly-made parody comics, or trying to re-hash the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid Chris Saga]] is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are (and always will be) much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame,<ref group=note>This idea worked once in the right circumstances, there's no need to repeat it now, where Chris believes he's a goddess and a reincarnate of Jesus.</ref> or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included terrible homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[pickle|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=308061Weening2023-07-08T00:11:36Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* There are much better targets than Chris */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting [[BlueSpike|a ween]] attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200226105210/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens''' (not to be confused with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ween the alternative rock band]). A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[File:PeenWeen.png|thumb|A ween's "quest".]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and [[CWCville|where it takes place]] as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/49854/post-11683809 Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.]<br />
* [https://reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/10k8nj3/chris_chan_porn_video_gofundme/ Funding a pornographic film about Chris.]<br />
* [[:File:9zkfdgibmrxa1.png|Leaving one-star reviews on places Chris has visited because Chris visited them.]]<br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community through donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, making and sending him badly-made parody comics, or trying to re-hash the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid Chris Saga]] is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are and always will be much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame,<ref group=note>This idea worked once in the right circumstances, there's no need to repeat it now, where Chris believes he's a goddess and a reincarnate of Jesus.</ref> or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included terrible homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[pickle|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Post-jail_sightings_(2023)&diff=306503Post-jail sightings (2023)2023-05-29T23:45:57Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* The Future */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Ongoing}}<br />
{{protip|We once again advise you to ''never ever'' directly engage with Chris. On the off-chance that you cross paths with Chris, the absolute ''most'' that you should do is [[Passive observers|get some kind of documentation of Chris]], [[Unholy Tetrad|but never to directly engage with him]]; otherwise, it is best to leave Chris alone. To put it more bluntly: ''DO NOT'' attempt to stalk Chris upon seeing him, and ''NEVER'' speak to Chris in ''ANY'' way shape or form, or to anyone at his group home. [[Megan Schroeder|You]] [[BlueSpike|do]] ''[[A-Logging|NOT]]'' [[Idea Guys#Removal from power|want]] [[Michael Hirtes|to]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|be]] [[Jacob Sockness|a part]] [[Affair with Mother|of Christory]].}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PeenWeen.png|thumb|As foreseen, a mean keen [[Weening|ween]] by the name of [[Pickle|Peen]] seen looking for [[Transgender|Christine]].]]<br />
<br />
On 27 [[March 2023]], [[Chris]] was [[Jail Saga#Bonded out or Released by court order|released from jail]], with the only explanation being ''"released by court order"''. Beginning on 1 [[May 2023|May]], '''sightings of Chris''' were reported in [[wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]], Virginia, with some [[Weening|weens]] referring to this period as '''"the chase"''' as they attempt to gangstalk Chris.<br />
<br />
==Walmart==<br />
[[Image:MidlothianWalmart.jpg|thumb|Midlothian Walmart branch]]<br />
<br />
On 1 [[May 2023]], Chris was spotted shopping at a [[Walmart]] in {{w|Midlothian, VA|Midlothian}}, Virginia, a western suburb of Richmond in Chesterfield County.<br />
<br />
On the same day, a [[Reddit]] user called DarylMcGoofyGuy posted a thread with a photo of Chris, claiming that a friend had sent the picture.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1350b35/chris_sighting_at_a_walmart_a_friend_sent_me_this/</ref> On Twitter, more photos were posted by an account named Speedymctweet, again claiming a friend had sent them.<ref>https://twitter.com/Speedymctweet/status/1653131783897063425</ref> In the photos, Chris's [[hair]] has returned to its natural brown color, and he also appears thinner, congruent with his last mugshot. He also has a [[medallion|Sonichu medallion]], most likely a [[Medallions#Mark V|Mark V]] version.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 1.png|Photo uploaded by both DarylMcGoofyGuy and Speedymctweet, of Chris putting something in or taking something out of his cart. <br />
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 2.png|2nd photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris shopping.<br />
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 3.jpg|3rd photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris looking at what could be a shopping list.<br />
File:CWC-Walmart-20230501 - 4.jpg|4th photo uploaded by Speedymctweet, of Chris in the Entertainment section.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
Another Reddit user, Alternative_Roof1940, subsequently posted photos of Chris from the security cameras at the Walmart.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1350yv5/chris_chan_at_my_local_walmart_not_a_drill/</ref><br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:Midlothian_CCTV.png|Chris on CCTV<br />
Image:Chris_Near_Checkout.jpg|Shot of Chris near the checkout<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
Alternative_Roof1940 also uploaded a brief video clip of Chris walking away outside of the store.<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = May 1, 2023<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvvdJrpYbu8}}<br />
| stardate = 1 [[May 2023]]<br />
| saga = [[Image:TheChaseicon.png]] [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|Post-Jail]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
He also claimed:<ref>https://www.reddit.com/user/Alternative_Roof1940/comments/ ([https://archive.fo/oVp8W archive])</ref><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris approached the electronic department asking for a flash drive and also ended up buying a [[Nintendo Switch|switch]] (yes......again). The second photo is from the electronics when he was asking}}<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|There was a large black van chris got into about 8 stores down driven by a large black woman. I didn't take any photos of the vehicle for the sake of the woman driving}}<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|No, there was no group. Chris was alone the entire time up until chris got into the car with 1 single person parked 8 stores away}}<br />
<br />
The address of the Walmart was not revealed by any of the observers, but the exterior view shown in Alternative_Roof1940's video indicates that it is the location at 14501 Hancock Village Street. This location happens to be 10 miles (16 km) by road from the main campus of [[Gateway Homes]], lending support to the hypothesis that Chris is residing there. One of the rules of Gateway Homes states “No registered sex offenders or individuals who have committed a sexual offense will be considered”,<ref>https://gatewayhomes.org/admissions-eligibility/</ref> although Chris is not a registered offender and has not been formally convicted of [[incest]], making it unclear if his charge poses an issue for admission. Without confirmation we cannot say for sure where Chris is residing. Coincidentally, the Walmart is only 4 miles (6 km) from [[Manchester High School]], which Chris attended from 1996 to 2000.<br />
<br />
==Battlegrounds==<br />
[[File:Gamestore2023.jpg|thumb|200px|[[:File:Chrischannov2007.jpg|Nothing has changed]].]]<br />
<br />
On 2 May 2023, Chris was spotted playing cards at the game store Battlegrounds, also in Midlothian, around 11 miles north of Walmart he was shopping on May 1st and a half hour drive from his speculated Gateway Homes. The photo was posted by Euclid_Class_Object to Reddit on the same day presumably. <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/1366xdf/chris_spotted_in_a_local_game_shop/#</ref> <br />
<br />
Euclid Class Object sourced the photo from a member of the "Zodiac Duelist" Yu-Gi-Oh Facebook group.<br />
<br />
<!-- Administrators of the Facebook group suggested the member tell the Battlegrounds [[Manajerks|management]] about Chris's situation in an attempt to [[ban]] him. <ref>[[:File:Chris_potentially_banned_from_Battlegrounds.png]]</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|Forgot to say. An admin from the FB group suggested that OP should tell the store owners about Chris-Chan's situation so they might get banned from the store lol}}<br />
--><br />
On the 5th, Battlegrounds set their Facebook store page to private, most likely due to [[Weening|ween]] activity.<br />
<br />
Chris was wearing the same [[Medallions#Mark V|Mark V medallion]] he was wearing in the Walmart photos.<br />
<br />
==Chesterfield Towne Center==<br />
[[File:Chrischan-seen-in-public-v0-f7l8pasp6qxa1.png|thumb|left|200px|CWCfoot]]<br />
<br />
On 3 May 2023, for the third time in a row, Chris was spotted outside a [[wikipedia:Donatos Pizza|Donatos Pizza]] at [[wikipedia:Chesterfield Towne Center|Chesterfield Towne Center]] in Chesterfield County, about 16 miles (25 km) north of the speculated Gateway Homes and over 2 miles (4 km) east of Battlegrounds. The photo was posted to Reddit by Pure_Lingonberry_677, who also claims his friend took the photo <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13703h9/chrischan_seen_in_public/</ref><br />
<br />
This is the first sighting where Chris is aware that he is being photographed. Chris appears to be put off and even nervous, something uncharacteristic of him before the Jail Saga, though Chris could just be caught off-guard. <br />
<br />
Also, the Sonichu medallion itself has also somehow turned its face towards the camera; whether this is due to Chris [[Sonichu's Edge|moving fast enough for the medallion]] [[Obesity|to bounce naturally off of Chris]], or that [[Magical thinking|the medallion itself is possessed by the same forces]] set to bring about the [[Dimensional Merge]] is uncertain.<br />
<br />
==27 May Sighting==<br />
[[File:CWC sighting 5-27-23.png|thumb|right|200px]]<br />
<br />
On 27 May 2023 Chris was spotted by Reddit user sagehazes and was posted two days later. <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13v4vtx/sighting_signature/</ref><br />
<br />
What is notable in this sighting was that for the first time in eight years, Chris has dyed his hair, this time in a bright teal color. Also noted was the absence of the Sonichu medallion, presumably to avoid recognition by weens.<br />
<br />
sagehazes also included a signature from "J. Christ Chan Sonichu" for a receipt, showing that his Jesus delusions remain strong after being released from jail.<br />
[[File:CWC signature 5-27-23.png |thumb|center|200px]]<br />
<br />
==The Future==<br />
As of present, Chris' appearances have become increasingly sporadic, including one gap of approximately three weeks. One possibility for his disappearance is that he received his [[tugboat]] on 1 May and managed to exhaust his spending money within just a few days. Another possibility, given his uncomfortable expressions upon realizing he was being photographed, is that he began to notice that weens and A-Logs were stalking him and has decided to keep a lower profile. If speculation about Chris residing in a Group Home turns out to be true, it may also be possible that the establishment is restricting his time in the outside world; either as a form of discipline or for Chris' own protection. Regardless, only time will tell whether Chris will show his face more often once he's allowed to start roaming again and/or his funds are replenished, or whether the weens have managed to scare him into long-term seclusion.<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Fan art==<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Fan art<br />
|<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:CWC 2023.jpeg|Artist's depiction of Chris on the run<br />
Image:Return of CWC.jpeg|''Look who's back...''<br />
Image:82ic0u6ubrxa1.png|Caught!<br />
Image:TxyeB1ql.png|The rise of Ween-Mart<br />
Image:Ydow809ej5ya1.png|Artist's depiction of the CWCfoot sighting<br />
Image:CWC-EdBoySenpai (photoshopped).png|😱<br />
Image:R2srik08dcya1.jpg|CWCptid hunting<br />
Image:84n46ojaqlya1.png|What some expect to happen upon getting a photo of Chris<br />
Image:S5dnd9h3lfza1.png|The meeting of the century<br />
Image:U8l5no8vjv0b1.png|The Adversary<br />
</gallery></center><br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Fan visits#DATSJUSTWATINEED2BUS]]<br />
<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{TheChaseSaga}}</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Enablers&diff=306122Enablers2023-05-16T04:11:55Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Joining the creative community surrounding Chris */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Honest}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[File:Helena Fiorenza with Magi-Chan.jpg|300px|thumb|[[Helena Fiorenza]], a fantasy enabler who feeds into Chris's delusion that Magi-chan is real.]]<br />
'''Enablers''', or '''Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu''' ('''DoCCS''') as Chris has termed them,<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1190784675750514688</ref> are those who encourage Chris's negative behavior and/or self-destructive habits. <br />
<br />
Enablers can be divided into two main classes: the first being financial enablers throwing money at Chris, and the second being the fantasy enablers endorsing Chris's [[Ego|grandiose]] delusions. They are not necessarily limited to doing these. The overall characteristic that defines all enablers is that they perform an action with the sole purpose of encouraging Chris to live like a child, whether it be encouraging him not to be employed, providing him his most basic needs, roleplaying with him, and much, much more.<br />
<br />
Some enablers (and [[white knights]]) fall into a sub-group referred to as Anti-Trolls, those who try to ward other trolls and Quintet members away from Chris to have him for themselves. These are not to be confused with [[Counter-Trolls|counter-trolls]], who primarily fight against trolls to protect Chris, rather to troll him themselves. <br />
<br />
==Gatekeepers==<br />
'''Gatekeeping''' refers to controlling access to Chris. It is used by [[trolls]] to prevent [[white knights]] and wannabe trolls from interfering, and by white knights to prevent trolls from contacting Chris.<br />
<br />
The [[Miscreants]] troll group, for example, actively interfered with white knight attempts to help Chris by deleting their emails before Chris could read them or by manipulating Chris to believing the white knights were leaking information.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/video-of-chris-at-lukass-house.51525/post-4134037</ref><br />
<br />
The [[Watchmen]], a white knight/enabler group, tried to gatekeep Chris from trolls. In the case of [[Larry Vaughn]], they pointed out Chris shouldn't interact with him, though Chris insisted. In the case of [[Jacob Sockness]], they had Chris record [[ChrisReleasesAStatementRegardingJacobSockness]] to discourage Sockness from completing his trip to see Chris.<br />
<br />
==Fantasy enablers==<br />
[[Chris and reality|Chris's grip on what is real]] and what is being fed to him was [[PandaHalo|never]] [[Julie|that]] [[Ivy|robust]] to begin, and has eroded even further after years of [[sagas|being deliberately misled]]. It has wasted away to such an extent that he is nearly incapable of distinguishing seemingly even what ideas come from his head and what came from others. Enablers exploit this fact by presenting Chris with their own invented information about the [[Dimensional Merge]] or Chris's [[imaginary friends]], validating his thoughts and convincing him that [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase|he is not alone]]. A prime example of this is [[Jacob Sockness]], who used fictional dialogue between various characters between Chris's characters and his own imaginary pantheon. Chris fully believed that this dialogue was legitimate and expressed that he had heard it himself. Collectively, these enabler fabrications are known as the '''cult of the Idea Guys''', for they had their root in the Idea Guys' example and have become the basis of [[Chris and religion#Doctrines of CWCianity|Chris's religious beliefs]]. This pseudo cult's name is meant to poke fun at how Chris has incorporated all of his beliefs, and turned it into a religion, where followers worship him as their God. Since the [[Idea Guys]] saga showed to everyone by mid-[[2018]] that Chris really was this gullible, the go-to method for those trying to influence Chris has been to act as enablers of his delusions, replacing the previous method of posing as [[sweethearts]].<br />
<br />
==Financial enablers==<br />
Beside sanctioning his belief in his own divinity, there is one other way that enablers have found in winning Chris over: through his wallet. Though his situation is not nearly as dire as during the [[Financhu Crisis]] some years ago, Chris remains as [[Chris and money|irresponsible with money]] and [[Chris and work|adamant not to work]] as always. As a result, it is always precarious at best. Providing him with the money he regularly requests, whether through lavishing him with expensive gifts, buying his [[Chris and business|overpriced, shoddy merchandise]] or [[Patreon|donating monthly for comics he does not want to make]], is a technique used by enablers who can afford it as [[Sarah and Steve]], and even some who cannot, as [[Aly Hirschberg]], to present themselves to Chris as being kindly and selfless, often in combination with worshiping and joining in his role-playing. Over the years, Chris has gotten thousands from his audience in the form of donations and considerations. He has received thousands more in sales through storefronts such as [[eBay]] and [[Etsy]].<br />
<br />
As the notice on our homepage suggests, '''the CWCki strongly advises against giving Chris money'''. <br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable"<br />
|-<br />
! Amount<br />
! From<br />
! Date received<br />
! Details<br />
|-<br />
|A laptop computer<br />
|A ween in North Carolina<br />
|[[August 2011]]<br />
|Chris spoke about it in [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]. A common theory is that the laptop had been infected with a keylogger, but Chris outsmarted the ween by upgrading the computer.<br />
|-<br />
|$500<br />
|[[Kiwi Farms]]<br />
|[[January 2014]]<br />
|Donated by fans after the house fire.<ref>[[Destruction Of Chris's House#Aftermath and reaction]]</ref><br />
|-<br />
|$150<br />
|Fans<br />
|[[September 2014]]<br />
|From a Kickstarter campaign in which Chris explicitly stated he would use it to buy [[Lego]]s.<ref>[[Kickstarter]]</ref><br />
|-<br />
|$1,000<br />
|[[DStecks]]<br />
|[[September 2015]]<br />
|Donated during the climax of his review series of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' to fund the production of new pages for the comic; Chris used it to buy a new bed (arguably one of his only sensible purchases in recent years) but then failed to keep his side of the deal for almost two years.<br />
|-<br />
|$500<br />
|[[Sonic Rainboom (Kiwi Farms user)]]<br />
|[[September 2015]]<br />
|Sent Chris a Visa card with $500.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-finds-a-gift-card-spends-it.13723/</ref> Later admitted doing it to get "interesting content".<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-finds-a-gift-card-spends-it.13723/page-11#post-1054932</ref> It is worth noting the absurd hours that Chris was making these purchases – the majority of them were between [[Biological clock|midnight and 5 AM]].<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:Sonic rainboom $500 1.png|Rainboom spent $500 to find that Chris likes McDonald's.<br />
File:Sonic rainboom $500 2.jpg<br />
File:Sonic rainboom $500 3.jpg<br />
</gallery></center><br />
|-<br />
|Hundreds<br />
|Mostly [[weens]]<br />
|Summer 2016<br />
|During the [[Financhu Crisis]], a pattern formed of Chris begging for money, then briefly stating that he had received donations before begging for more money.<br />
|-<br />
|$2,650<br />
|Selling [[Relics of Fail]]<br />
|August 2016 onwards<br />
|[[Megatron pistol]] ($50), [[Sonic Totem]] ($1,500), [[Pokéwalker of Fail]] ($100), [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|ShecameforCWC]] ($1,000, as part of a set).<br />
|-<br />
|$4,816.43<br />
|[[Patreon]]<br />
|December 2016 - August 2021<br />
|Chris earned pledges from fans and weens every month.<br />
|-<br />
|$1,000<br />
|Selling binders of old Pokémon and UFS cards.<br />
|January 2018 to 2019<br />
|Four binders of cards.<ref>[[eBay]]</ref> At least one was purchased by a seller hoping to resell the individual cards.<br />
|-<br />
|$100<br />
|Selling stained pages of [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]]<br />
|February 2018<br />
|Literally selling trash.<br />
|-<br />
|$1,300<br />
|[[Jack Jankowski]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/page-4#post-3273576</ref><br />
|April 2018<br />
|Jack gave Chris $1,200 for a luxury trip to the 2018 [[BronyCon]] in the hopes that he would get to meet him there. Chris thanked him for the money in [[I have been paid to go; we’ll see if I can go (Seriously To Be Determined)]]. Jack also paid $100 for a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!|video (which Chris decided to bookend with unrelated begging announcements)]].<br />
|-<br />
|$1,000<br />
|[[Miss Cherry]]<br />
|July 2018<br />
|Tried the pay-to-play method to being Chris's next sweetheart and failed.<br />
|-<br />
|$391<br />
|[[Aly Hirschberg]]<ref name=interview>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5482182 Hirschberg admits she bought the blankets, 19 October 2019]</ref><br />
|Summer 2018<br />
|{{quote|it’s about 3 hours wages for me, I don’t mind spending that on some christory}}<br />
<br />
During summer 2018, an anonymous "vRS Davison" said in YouTube's comments section that she decided to spend $200 to buy an old blanket from Barb on [[eBay]], because she somehow considered it to be a piece of "Christory".<ref>[[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW]]</ref><br />
<br />
It evidently was not enough to pay a ridiculous sum of money for one blanket, as when Barb put more blankets up for sale,<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings#Barbara's Blankets]]</ref> vRS Davison purchased another one for $100, plus $25 shipping.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/page-124#post-3691978</ref> In [[October 2019]], Aly Hirschberg would reveal that she purchased them through a US proxy.<br />
<br />
In November 2019, she paid for a $41 set of [[TSSSF]] cards.<ref>http://archive.md/xJPcM</ref> and gave $50 for a Magi-Chan medallion<ref>http://archive.md/tza90</ref><br />
|-<br />
|$500<br />
|Jill Duncan<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/page-189#post-4317687</ref><br />
|February 2019<br />
|A "Jill Duncan" pledged $500 per month to Chris's Patreon, asking to speak to Chris, then cancelled the pledge ten days later (but because Chris's Patreon account is set to "upfront payment", Chris still got the initial $500 and used it to purchase a replacement [[Xbox]]). There is no indication Chris ever spoke to Jill, as she requested.<br />
|-<br />
|$400<br />
|[[Sarah and Steve]]<br />
|Spring 2019<br />
|Bought Chris a Nintendo Switch ($300), gave him $100 on Patreon. Also claimed to have funded a room for him at the 2019 BronyCon ($600) but pulled it due to Chris not paying attention to them.<br />
|-<br />
|~$2,000<br />
|[[Joseph Draft]]<br />
|April 2019<br />
|According to the creator of [[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]], who was approached by Draft before the now infamous trailer was relisted, in order to get footage for a documentary, he had payed Chris and Barb an undisclosed amount.<ref>https://youtu.be/HP_fIAJLI2w?t=489</ref> Assuming that the Kickstarter was meant to cover the costs ''already made'', the budgeted $2,000 as payment for the "collaborators"<ref>https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jdraft/chris-chan-vs-the-internet</ref> is the maximum amount Chris and Barb could have been given, from the information available.<br />
|-<br />
|$200<br />
|David90637947<br />
|May 2019<br />
|Commissioned Chris via Twitter for a Sonichu [[medallion]], shelling out $200 in order to get Chris's attention (medallions were $30 each when Chris sold them on Ebay). Became a Twitter white knight for Chris, until Chris mass blocked some perceived trolls, including David.<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:David90637947 pleading for a medallion.png|David pleading for the chance to buy a Sonichu medallion.<br />
File:David90637947's medallion request.png|Chris acknowledges him after he waves $200.<br />
File:David90637947's $200 Sonichu medallion.jpg|The received medallion.<br />
File:David90637947's review.png|David's glowing review.<br />
File:David90637947 blocked.png|Whining over being blocked by Chris.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
|-<br />
|$600<br />
|BronyCon donor<br />
|July 2019<br />
|After Chris repeatedly begged on Twitter for $600 to fund a hotel room after his previous plan fell through (crashing with [[Sarah and Steve]], who had ghosted him earlier because Chris kept ignoring their messages), a fan donated to Chris.<ref>[[July 2019 social media posts]]</ref><br />
|- class="sortbottom"<br />
|-<br />
|$190<br />
|Luke<br />
|October 2020<br />
|A fan from Pennsylvania named Luke paid Chris $190 to autograph a variety of items which he intended to resell for profit. Chris delivered the signed goods to Luke's house personally.<ref>[[Pennsylvania Trip]]</ref><br />
|-<br />
|Unknown<br />
|Weens<br />
|August 2021 - March 2023<br />
|Various fans have been making donations to Chris while in jail. Chris claims that he used this money to pay back the remainder of the $750 he stole from [[Barbara]] when he was forced out of his house in July as well as to buy numerous items from the jail's commissary shop. These include clothing, toiletries, writing materials, radio batteries, two Turkish prayer rugs and numerous soft drinks and food items. Chris estimated his jail expenses to be about $50 per week.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021]]</ref> In the [[Jail Call - 1 November 2021|jail call]] from November 1 Chris makes reference to one particularly "generous donation" he had recently received.<br />
|- class="sortbottom"<br />
!style="background-color:#E9E9E9; text-align:right;", colspan="3"|Total<br />
!style="font-weight:bold;color:#FF0000"|~$17,806.43<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==Motives for enabling Chris==<br />
There are several motives people make for enabling Chris, these include the following.<br />
<br />
===To profit off of the community surrounding Chris===<br />
Many of these enablers are opportunistic hacks who aim to use Chris's platform to launch their career. These people do not have the talent required to making anything worthwhile and bait Chris into talking about them to help launch their career.<br />
<br />
A recent enabler, [[Ben Saint]], badly attempted to develop a saga of his own within Christory by copying what Alec Benson Leary did, which was to promote his own media and make money off of the fools who would buy that stuff. To do this, he fed into Chris's delusions, and added [[Sonichu Special 7|some of his own characters]] into the Sonichu comics.<br />
<br />
===Joining the creative community surrounding Chris===<br />
{{Protip|Nobody is stopping you from making fan media. If you want to, then by all means do so, but just ''try to make sure Chris himself doesn't see it''.}}<br />
Observers of Chris often include people who enjoy drawing, animation, fanfic writing, cosplay and the like as a hobby. While many will post their artwork at places strictly for discussing Chris, such as [[Kiwi Farms]] or [[Reddit]], to keep their distance from Chris, enablers approach Chris directly with their fanart on [[Twitter]] or [[Discord]]; with the intent of seeking his opinion, despite knowing full well he has issues distinguishing [[reality]] from fantasy and will interpret their artwork as it happening literally. Over time, these enablers built up a community for sharing their artwork, with the side-effect of affirming Chris's fantasies.<br />
<br />
===Attention whores===<br />
Some of these enablers desperately seek attention, and approval from Chris is something they crave for the most. These people cannot contribute anything to society and therefore will never get a Wikipedia page of their own, so the CWCki is the next best alternative. People such as [[MKRNightVee]], [[Helena Fiorenza]], [[Jacob Sockness]], [[Sarah and Steve]] and Richard Righteous come under this category. They often ardently defend Chris's beliefs about being an all powerful goddess and getting into lengthy arguments with others over their actions.<br />
<br />
===To make Chris produce content artificially===<br />
For most people, it would be utterly despicable to manipulate someone as mentally ill as Chris, let alone so that he can become a means for their enjoyment. For the enablers with more spiteful intents in mind, they would argue that the reason that they are further deluding Chris is because it would encourage him to produce more content. They would tell Chris all kinds of nonsensical stories, just so that he can act like their own personal lolcow to laugh at.<br />
<br />
==="I'm just supporting him/her/them"===<br />
[[File:CWCLivestream Fan, 12 Feb. 2020.png|thumb|right|[[Other enablers#Eschcal|Eschcal]], seen here donating $10 to Chris, shows all the hallmarks of an enabler, in that they pretend to be a fan and hope their financial donations will make Chris do what they want - in reality, Chris is most likely using their cash to buy [[Video games]].]]<br />
This argument is most common among the more white knight- or social justice-oriented crowd. Those who take this approach see Chris as a victim of the "alt-right trolls" or whatever villain of the week has been created to oppress them. As such, to them Chris is a beautiful, unique creature who is to be coddled and praised, regardless of the merit of that praise. Often this praise will be sycophantic in nature, with constant praise of Chris' artistic ability and creative genius. Another common narrative is that Chris is a grown adult who is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, easily separating the wheat from the chaff in regards to orbiters. [[Sarah and Steve|We'll let you]] [[Jacob Sockness|decide how]] [[Idea Guys|competent he is]].<br />
<br />
===To protect him from other enablers===<br />
<br />
Some enablers have already realized that it is impossible to communicate to Chris unless they can entertain his beliefs, so they attempt to assist Chris by, at first, playing into his own fantasies and then subsequently attempting to dismantle those fantasies from the inside, or encourage less harmful ones. However, attempts at doing so have mostly failed.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against enabling Chris==<br />
<br />
Whether you intend to help Chris, make him fall further into his delusions, or attempt to pull a [[Liquid Chris]] on him by playing along with his delusions, there are a handful of reasons for why enabling Chris generally is not considered a good idea by most people. <br />
<br />
===Enabling Chris gives him a motive to never change===<br />
<br />
It goes without saying, but if one's beliefs are confirmed all of the time by the people that surround them, they have very little reason to change the way they are. This kind of "helping" Chris is what made him so [[Ego|egocentric]] and [[Nostalgia|puerile]] in the first place, and that was when it was just his parents enabling him. Even if you ''do'' have good intentions and a genuine desire to help Chris, this way of "helping" is ironically one of the most harmful things you can do to him. By reinforcing the delusional state of a mentally ill person, you are doing nothing but unintentionally making their life worse. On one hand, fantasy enablers will play into Chris's desire to relive his childhood. On the other hand, financial enablers will constantly donate him money out of guilt. The actions from both groups combined have made Chris deny any sort of adult responsibilities because it made him believe that he can [[Work|sit on his ass all day]], [[Mysticism|daydreaming]], as other people provide his basic needs for him.<br />
<br />
The impact of the [[Idea Guys]] has been ''catastrophic'' to both Chris's mental state and the Sonichu universe: in recent years, Chris's mental state has deteriorated from fantasy-prone escapism to complete detachment from [[reality]]. Chris has become so delusional that he believes he is married to several Sonic recolors and a Pokémon as part of a [[polyamorous marriage]], is a goddess with psychic powers, and is worshiped by millions as their lord and savior.<br />
<br />
By indulging Chris – that is, encouraging a {{age|1982|2|24}}-year-old man to believe he is really a deity and [[anime]] character after he was tricked into thinking that in the first place – '''you are only making things worse''', and even helping to perpetuate the Idea Guys' machinations. When a person has deluded themselves into a belief that is potentially harmful to themselves and others, the best thing to do is not to reinforce said delusion, but rather to get the person professional help. Telling him that [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase|others]] agree with his nonsense only causes him to become even further detached from [[Chris and reality|the real world]] than he already is. <br />
<br />
Agreeing with Chris that he is the holy patroness of [[Commodore 64|a computer from the '80s]] and that cartoon characters will soon [[Chris and religion#Afterlife and eschatology|start showing up]] in the real world has also proven a prerequisite to interacting with him for any extended period of time. Even if you do not intend to indulge in his fantasies, you cannot interact with him normally to undo any of of the damage done by enablers. The [[Guard Dogs]], who originally intended to keep Chris from getting manipulated again, also needed to play along by alleging that Chris's [[Amnyfest Ring]] was causing psychic chaos to gain their position over him. Most who are willing to play along with Chris in this way would justify their actions to third parties by professing they are doing this to help Chris in the end. Unfortunately, despite their efforts, Chris had refused to cooperate with them any further, and decided to go back to his fantasy world and continue falling for other enablers, no matter what they said or did to him.<br />
<br />
Rarely does [[Ben Saint|interacting with him yourself]] to tell him about your world clashing with his create the same effect as him getting angry over [[Sonic Boom|a minor character alteration]] or getting irrationally mad at a nonexistent enemy. In the past, some of the best Chris content has come from his own head and actions. <br />
<br />
Most of the time he is not even bothered by it anymore, seeing it as another happenstance in the world he created himself. This proves that by enabling Chris, you are doing the exact opposite of what triggers the best of Chris by giving him what he wants or further confirming him and lulling him into a sense of complacency where he is less likely to produce meaningful and/or entertaining content. Chris will always try to get what he wants, whether or not it is good for him. To add salt to an open wound, Chris has previously stated that trolling efforts from people like the [[Teen Troon Squad]] do not faze him at all, purely because they agreed with his views and were polite to him. Therefore, it would be insane to even think that trolling Chris in this fashion would get a laugh out of anyone.<br />
<br />
Chris also no longer believes in basic scientific principles, especially in the the biology department, and already believes himself, and presumably himself alone, to completely understand the difference between what is real and what is fictional.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1205200341677084673</ref> He believes that all diseases are a result of extreme stress, and that by being psychically connected to a virus, he can completely obliterate whatever ails him. For example, when Chris got a cold on December 2019, he believed that the primary reason for this was due to how he was triggered by the redesigns of his Sonichu characters by [[ProjectSNT]]. If Chris gets inflicted with a disease, he will tell himself that said illnesses simply arose from his emotions and disturbances from other dimensions, as opposed to acknowledging he's ill and taking steps to help himself. To continuously try and enable him with these beliefs, Chris gets put at risk of suffering even worse ailments without the proper care or treatment. Thus, '''when you enable Chris' delusions, you are directly putting his life in danger.'''<br />
<br />
===The knowledge gap between you and Chris===<br />
Since the very beginning, Chris has had [[Autism|difficulties]] in empathizing with other people, or seeing things through their point of view. This especially holds true today, where he has become absorbed within his fantasy land. Some fantasy enablers, particularly in the artist community, might believe they are not doing any harm by drawing fanart or fancomics that Chris likes. However, these people are fully aware that what they draw is simply fiction – Chris is not. '''Chris doesn't care about your fanart the way you think he would'''. He now sees it as evidence he can use to confirm his beliefs about the universe. Directly giving Chris fanart encourages his retreat from reality as he then spends time "astral-projecting" to the dimension he believes the artwork depicts instead of working on improving his real-world life. There is nothing inherently wrong with creating fanart of Sonichu or Sonichu characters, however doing things such as creating a persona Twitter account, aggressively pushing your art on Chris, and RPing as your character does make it highly likely that Chris will use the art as an excuse to recede deeper into his fantasy world.<br />
<br />
===Getting sucked into drama surrounding Chris===<br />
[[File:NoticeMeSenpai.jpg|thumb|Imagine this, but as a flame war over Chris.]]<br />
The time and energy spent on getting sucked into drama, just to see who can influence Chris the most, is one of the classic signs of enabling. Because of how trolling Chris is the one-way ticket to fame for some, and due to the amount of people going by the Idea Guys' techniques, there has been a constant power struggle between groups of enablers vying for Chris's attention. Enablers have been trying to ward off one another in order to reign Supreme.<br />
<br />
An example is a group with [[Jacob Sockness]] and [[Sarah and Steve]] clashing against a group with [[MKRNightVee]] and [[AquaDiamond8]]. Sockness, perceiving MKRNightVee as a barrier to his schemes, embarked on a smear campaign maligning her to Chris and nearly succeeded. MKRNightVee found herself in the precarious position of both doubling down on her allegiance to Chris's beliefs to keep her in his graces, while trying to convince him that the parts of his beliefs that Sockness planted into his mind were invalid – representing time and effort going to enabling.<br />
<br />
As you may have guessed by now, this is a very sad situation to find yourself in. You are fighting endlessly over the same weirdo who does not know or care that people are fighting over him, and you are putting yourself at the risk of becoming massive trollbait yourself by doing it.<br />
<br />
===You won't be able to influence Chris forever===<br />
Chris's fantasy beliefs getting validated just leaves an opening for others to eventually use down the line to manipulate him. An example is how a wave of copycats sprang up in the wake of the ousting of the [[Idea Guys]], with several successfully adapting their tactics to circumvent the efforts of the [[Guard Dogs]] to protect Chris.<br />
<br />
A related example is [[MKRNightVee]], who took a page from the Idea Guys' playbook, pretending to be a [[CPU]] goddess to align herself with Chris's beliefs. MKRNightVee claimed the charade was for helping Chris, however by feeding into his delusions, she made it easier for others like [[Jacob Sockness]] to tap into Chris's beliefs to manipulate him in another direction.<br />
<br />
===You will always be assumed to be acting in bad faith, regardless of your motives===<br />
Due to how many white knights and weens have been using the same technique of playing along with Chris' fantasies, it has become much more difficult for Chris to determine if someone's been messing with him, or if they're genuinely trying to help him. Due to his continued façade of [[Chris and kindness|kindness]] towards other people, he will of course always go for believing them first until they betray him. Therefore, enablers are always placed on the same level of people like A-Logs and weens by Christorians, and are readily assumed to be acting in bad faith, no matter what they intend to do with Chris.<br />
<br />
The confidence built by playing make-believe with Chris has been abused several times, and made people complete laughing-stocks of the internet as a result. [[Sarah and Steve]], [[Multidimensional White Knights]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] would all get their foot in the door by affirming Chris's beliefs, in some instances pretending to channel fictional characters ''from other [[dimensions]]'', and then betray that trust for their own entertainment. Onlookers from [[Kiwi Farms]] and the [[CWCki]] itself have watched white knights reveal themselves in fact to be weens many times before. The CWCommunity at large treats weens [[Weening#If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself|without mercy]]. Even if you are not like the many traitors in recent Christory, it is impossible to get through to Chris any longer without deceiving him, and such guile is not looked upon favourably. Others have poisoned the well before you. '''You will be assumed to be acting in bad faith if you try to influence Chris for any reason, and treated accordingly'''.<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will be laughed at by the internet===<br />
[[File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan6.jpg|thumb|300px|Trust us, it's just not worth it!]]<br />
<br />
At one point or another, you will be caught in the act, and you are going to have to spill the beans on your elaborate trolling scheme. Before you can even do so, someone is likely going to stumble across some really embarrassing information about you when they are trying to track down your motives. Remember, if you enable Chris, you will be assumed to be acting in bad faith, so the last thing you would want to do is show off, [[Idea Guys|especially when others tell you to stop]]. Most enablers do not appear to be aware of the dire consequences of sharing their brilliant plans on various sites that either target Chris or ones he regularly uses, and they thus become the site's laughing stock of the month, just by skipping this caveat in their plans.<br />
<br />
An infamous example of this is the failed trolling plan of [[Sarah and Steve]]. Sarah first got the attention of Chris by asking for a Rosechu medallion, which Chris had undoubtedly agreed to after they bribed him with a Nintendo Switch. Sarah then told Chris that she and Steve would move over to Virginia to be his only friends to "help" him out by giving him endless gifts and playing pretend with him as a means of further deluding Chris. This has brought them negative attention from trolls. Even more so when they made a rise up when they tried to get themselves noticed by other prominent enablers to be declared "King of the Weens".<br />
<br />
A more infamous example would be [[Jacob Sockness]], an amateur sorcerer from San Francisco who pretended to be sexually attracted to Chris. When he was discovered by the Kiwi Farms in 2018, he became one of the site's most popular topics of discussion due to his many absurd obsessions and mannerisms. He too had a lot in common with Chris, being autistic, receiving a monthly tugboat, and believing to possess magical powers.<br />
<br />
[[Miss Cherry]] had also proven himself to be a target of ridicule after he had posted in an inactive thread about him on the [[Kiwi Farms]], just so that he can leak his trolling plan and show off. The Farms naturally did not approve of this, and were not reluctant to dox him. This was made worse when he decided to double down and continuously talk about how Internet famous all of this would make him.<br />
<br />
So the next time you attempt to troll Chris through enabling, always remember that you are at a great risk of being a target of ridicule yourself.<br />
<br />
===If you’re successful enough, it can come off as just plain depraved===<br />
Out of all of the five groups represented in the Unholy Quintet, enablers can arguably be considered some of the worst in many cases. Just like with A-Logging, and Carpetbagging, the biggest reason of all for why you should not enable Chris with malicious intents in mind is for the legal liability. For some enablers, enabling Chris is more than just a game to mess with his comics. It can get to the point where they realize they can use his gullibility as a tool to do such malicious things to himself. Some can even tell him to go as far as telling him to commit abuse to both himself, and to other people, as well as extort money from him.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-chris-chan-extortionists.45366/</ref> If this is to show you anything about enabling Chris with the intent of trolling him, it is that if you go far enough with this practice, ''you'' will become the villain, rather than the funniest guy in the chatroom.<br />
<br />
===Money given to Chris will not help sustain him===<br />
After reading the above, you might realize that role playing with Chris will not place you on the trolling [[honor roll]] anytime soon, yet you might still wish to help him, and consider some kind of monetary contribution instead. This is also a bad idea. Up until [[August 2021]], Chris was adequately [[14 Branchland Court|housed]] and fed (even if both leave [[Tour of Chris's House III|much to]] [[Obesity|be desired]]), and his [[monthly tugboat]] from the United States government provided him and [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] with necessary financial support enough that he, in fact, used to make more money ''doing absolutely nothing'' than the average household worldwide gets for an entire family's labour.<ref>Social Security Disability Insurance [https://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/082015/what-are-maximum-social-security-disability-benefits.asp pays on average] $1,237 monthly, so $29,688 yearly for Chris and Barb combined. For comparison, the [https://news.gallup.com/poll/166211/worldwide-median-household-income-000.aspx global median household income] is $9,733.</ref> He certainly was not destitute. <br />
<br />
[[Chris and money|Chris's relationship with money]] is unhealthy. While he has not got himself into as much of a bind as Barb has, he lacks the forethought to save money for the future and attend to his financial affairs in a responsible way. He often spends his money on frivolities and then turns to his fanbase to pay for necessary expenses that he could have covered himself had he not squandered his money away. While concerns for what will become of Chris after his mother passes are legitimate, Chris evidently shows [[Chris and work|no concern for planning for his future]] when Barb is no longer with him, and any money that you give him now to help secure his future will be frittered away on ''[[My Little Pony]]'' merchandise or [[vidya]]. Giving him more money now just teaches him that he is free to live beyond his means without a shred of responsibility because people like you will be happy to foot the bill. '''Your money will be wasted in Chris's hands and is best kept out of them'''.<br />
<br />
As of [[November 2021]] Chris is currently being held at the [[Chris's homes#Central Virginia Regional Jail|Central Virginia Regional Jail]] and is currently awaiting trial for the charge of [[Affair with Mother|incest]]. Arguably, [[Chris and nutrition#Prison food|jail food]] provides a much needed improvement over his regular diet. As such, sending money to his inmate account would likely be spent in [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|nothing but junk food]] from the commissary.<br />
<br />
===It's just not worth it===<br />
Seriously, don't even bother playing pretend with Chris at this point. At the end of the day, he's [[Chris and mental healthcare|a seriously mentally-ill individual]] in his forties, and is in dire need of assistance from professionals. No matter what zany scheme you can come up with in an attempt to bring back [[Saga#Classic_Chris_Era_.2827_October_2007_to_20_March_2010.29|the good old days]], the fact of the matter is that attempting to feed Chris's delusions is a bad idea. Those days have long since passed as Chris progressively deteriorates.<br />
<br />
Playing into his psychosis to help him invent new ways to humiliate himself and become increasingly deluded about his place in the universe, solely for your entertainment, is not something that should be encouraged at this stage in his life. Likewise, it's repeatedly been established that the vast majority of attempts by trolls to try to trick him into improving himself in the long term end up being futile at best and damaging at worst. At this point, it appears that Chris is the only person that can seriously work at fixing his life, and tragically enough, he seems to be more comfortable [[Chris and reality|living in his own little world]] than rethinking his life to ensure a stable future.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
<br />
*[[Weening]]<br />
*[[White knights]]<br />
*[[Ben Saint]] – A case of desperately garnering Internet fame<br />
*[[Jacob Sockness]] <br />
*[[Idea Guys#Joshua Allen Wise|Joshua Wise]] – The original "Idea Guy"<br />
*[[Other enablers|Other enablers of Chris's delusions]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<br />
<references/><br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
{{Fantasies}}<br />
{{Money}}<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Passive_observers&diff=304649Passive observers2023-04-18T23:25:26Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Criteria */</p>
<hr />
<div>When people first hear of Chris, they may become interested or fascinated. While some will degenerate into [[Unholy_Tetrad#White_Knights|White Knights]], [[Unholy_Tetrad#A-Logs|A-Logs]], [[Unholy_Tetrad#Enablers|Enablers]], or [[Unholy_Tetrad#Weens|Weens]], there are those who choose to keep their distance from Chris and don't want to be a [[Weening#Arguments_against_weening|negative influence]] on him. <br />
<br />
These select people are what we call '''passive observers'''. They <s>enjoy</s> observe Chris's antics from the delightful view of the moral high-ground while not directly interfering with Chris's life, and recognise that Chris really needs help from the people around him and trained professionals, not random people on the internet. Having a [[watchmen|support group]] online of people who have your back is ok, but you're not going to convince him that the [[Dimensional Merge|dimensional merge]] won't happen by pretending to be [[CPU]] Silver Heart of the [[Wikipedia:LeapPad#Models|LeapPad Ultimate]].<br />
<br />
==The CWCki as passive observers==<br />
Some passive observers decide to record the more interesting and comedic events of Chris's life. On the [[CWCki]], avoiding direct contact with Chris is essential — along with trying to remain as neutral and unbiased as possible — but a little ribbing is okay, so long as it doesn't [[Unholy Tetrad|go too far]]. The CWCki's wealth of information over the years has been gained from Chris's inability to keep information to himself, his incredible [[Honest_Content|honesty]] has made sure we know everything we [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|need to know]] without having to befriend him. <br />
<br />
Open-ended questions have also been a good way to get information in the past, as we've discovered from the [[Mailbag]]s, and details of how to ask Chris a good question are provided [[Passive_observers#Q&A Advisory Guidelines|below]]. Chris tends to interpret yes-or-no questions without subtext; for example, one person asked him if he listens to music while working on the comic, and he simply replied "yes". He missed that there may have been subtext (what kind of music, does it help/distract you, has it ever provided inspiration, etc.), and didn't provide much information. However, he has a tendency to be incredibly [[Honest Content|candid]] when asked an open-ended question.<br />
<br />
==Criteria==<br />
Passive Observers are very strongly discouraged from doing the following:<br />
<br />
* Attempting to contact Chris — Do not directly message Chris on any of the social platforms he is on. If Chris tries to contact you or mentions you in a comment, just ignore him.<br />
* [[White-Knighting|Defending]] Chris — Chris is by no means innocent, and he is beyond help from people who aren't professionals; which you most likely aren't.<br />
* Expressing [[A-Logging|hatred]] for Chris and over-exaggerating his flaws — For the simple reason that [[Weening#If_you_fail_hard_enough,_you_will_become_a_target_for_trolls_yourself|this makes you no better than Chris]]. If you really hate whatever Chris is doing, you don’t need to threaten or otherwise get actively involved with him over it.<br />
* [[Enablers|Encouraging]] Chris’ bad habits — Playing along with his lifestyle is a very bad idea, as it only gives him more of a reason to remain as childish as ever.<br />
* Attempts to [[Weening|troll or annoy]] Chris — This is not only is most likely to fail, it's also fruitless and often comes back to bite you in the ass.<br />
<br />
==Q&A Advisory Guidelines==<br />
In some scenarios, it’s perfectly fine to ask Chris questions under some set conditions:<br />
<br />
* Make sure your question is actually for getting important details from Chris.<br />
* Don't get too intimate with him. Chris is not your friend and likely never will be.<br />
* Avoid asking repetitive questions like “When’s the next comic coming out?” or “Is Barb still alive?”.<br />
* On the rare chance that Chris vehemently refuses to answer, just leave it at that and stop asking. If it doesn't work the first time, chances are it won't work the next hundred times.<br />
* Your question must not be a [[Weening#Arguments_against_weening|negative influence]] on Chris.<br />
<br />
If you are an editor of the CWCki and you'd like to ask Chris a question yourself, then you should post [[User:Anaxis/CWC Questions Depository|here]]. Just be sure to look through the various [[Discord Q&A]] sessions in order to make sure that your question hasn't already been asked, and remember to follow the guidelines.<br />
<br />
==Why passive observation works==<br />
<br />
===You don't have to risk becoming an easy target===<br />
<br />
===Concerns with privacy===<br />
<br />
===Prevention of further degrading a mentally ill man's sense of reality===<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
<br />
*[[Unholy Tetrad]] - How not to observe Chris.</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Passive_observers&diff=304648Passive observers2023-04-18T23:21:30Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* The Cwcki as passive observers */</p>
<hr />
<div>When people first hear of Chris, they may become interested or fascinated. While some will degenerate into [[Unholy_Tetrad#White_Knights|White Knights]], [[Unholy_Tetrad#A-Logs|A-Logs]], [[Unholy_Tetrad#Enablers|Enablers]], or [[Unholy_Tetrad#Weens|Weens]], there are those who choose to keep their distance from Chris and don't want to be a [[Weening#Arguments_against_weening|negative influence]] on him. <br />
<br />
These select people are what we call '''passive observers'''. They <s>enjoy</s> observe Chris's antics from the delightful view of the moral high-ground while not directly interfering with Chris's life, and recognise that Chris really needs help from the people around him and trained professionals, not random people on the internet. Having a [[watchmen|support group]] online of people who have your back is ok, but you're not going to convince him that the [[Dimensional Merge|dimensional merge]] won't happen by pretending to be [[CPU]] Silver Heart of the [[Wikipedia:LeapPad#Models|LeapPad Ultimate]].<br />
<br />
==The CWCki as passive observers==<br />
Some passive observers decide to record the more interesting and comedic events of Chris's life. On the [[CWCki]], avoiding direct contact with Chris is essential — along with trying to remain as neutral and unbiased as possible — but a little ribbing is okay, so long as it doesn't [[Unholy Tetrad|go too far]]. The CWCki's wealth of information over the years has been gained from Chris's inability to keep information to himself, his incredible [[Honest_Content|honesty]] has made sure we know everything we [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|need to know]] without having to befriend him. <br />
<br />
Open-ended questions have also been a good way to get information in the past, as we've discovered from the [[Mailbag]]s, and details of how to ask Chris a good question are provided [[Passive_observers#Q&A Advisory Guidelines|below]]. Chris tends to interpret yes-or-no questions without subtext; for example, one person asked him if he listens to music while working on the comic, and he simply replied "yes". He missed that there may have been subtext (what kind of music, does it help/distract you, has it ever provided inspiration, etc.), and didn't provide much information. However, he has a tendency to be incredibly [[Honest Content|candid]] when asked an open-ended question.<br />
<br />
==Criteria==<br />
Passive Observers are strongly discouraged from doing the following:<br />
<br />
* Attempting to contact Chris - Do not directly message Chris on any of the social platforms he is on. If Chris tries to contact you or mentions you in a comment, ignore him.<br />
* [[White-Knighting|Defending]] Chris - Chris is by no means innocent and he is beyond help from people who aren't professionals - which you most likely aren't.<br />
* Expressing [[A-Logging|hatred]] for Chris and over exaggerating his flaws - This makes you no better than Chris. If you really hate whatever Chris is doing, you don’t need to threaten him over it.<br />
* [[Enablers|Encouraging]] Chris’ bad habits - Playing along with his lifestyle is a very bad idea, as it only gives him more of a reason to remain as childish as ever.<br />
* Attempts to [[Weening|troll or annoy]] Chris - This is not only is most likely to fail, it's also fruitless and often comes back to bite you in the ass.<br />
<br />
==Q&A Advisory Guidelines==<br />
In some scenarios, it’s perfectly fine to ask Chris questions under some set conditions:<br />
<br />
* Make sure your question is actually for getting important details from Chris.<br />
* Don't get too intimate with him. Chris is not your friend and likely never will be.<br />
* Avoid asking repetitive questions like “When’s the next comic coming out?” or “Is Barb still alive?”.<br />
* On the rare chance that Chris vehemently refuses to answer, just leave it at that and stop asking. If it doesn't work the first time, chances are it won't work the next hundred times.<br />
* Your question must not be a [[Weening#Arguments_against_weening|negative influence]] on Chris.<br />
<br />
If you are an editor of the CWCki and you'd like to ask Chris a question yourself, then you should post [[User:Anaxis/CWC Questions Depository|here]]. Just be sure to look through the various [[Discord Q&A]] sessions in order to make sure that your question hasn't already been asked, and remember to follow the guidelines.<br />
<br />
==Why passive observation works==<br />
<br />
===You don't have to risk becoming an easy target===<br />
<br />
===Concerns with privacy===<br />
<br />
===Prevention of further degrading a mentally ill man's sense of reality===<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
<br />
*[[Unholy Tetrad]] - How not to observe Chris.</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_work&diff=303378Chris and work2023-03-17T01:27:49Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Current Stance on Employment */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}}<br />
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydream]]ing over his fantasies.]]<br />
<br />
Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Borb|elderly parents]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held one job - two if pushing it - in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.<br />
<br />
Despite his crippling [[debt]], Chris vehemently refuses to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] - a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref><br />
<br />
Since being arrested and jailed on charges of [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts committed with his mother]], and with the possibility of Chris being convicted as a sex offender looming ever larger, there exists a strong likelihood that, in the very near future, Chris will find the very prospect of employment itself to go from extremely difficult to outright impossible; and he'd be especially screwed in such a regard due to having no more safety nets from his fanbase since they've lost sympathy for (and the desire to request commissions from) him.<br />
<br />
==Reasons for Chris's Refusal to Work==<br />
<br />
===External Factors===<br />
<br />
Several external factors may account for Chris's inability to find employment. One of the big factors is laziness. When he worked at Wendy's between August-September of 2001 he later admitted to Jackie on a call that ‘he would take frequent breaks after washing the tables and taking out the trash.’ showing his incompetence towards there being more stuff to do. Another reason could be that he can't get a job because of his twenty one year unemployment gap. Also, Chris being a forty year old male with a criminal record, and who also is in jail for the (alleged) incest with his own mother has probably dwindled his chances of employment (like he would ever look for a job in the first place). If he gets convicted of the (alleged) incest of his mother he would be on the sex offender registry, and have his chances of a job go down drastically. Another reason being that he believes that he has a job in another dimension as a goddess, thanks to the influence of the idea guy’s. Another external factor is him claiming to ‘take care’ of his mother (which we all know how that went). Over the years instead of getting a job to support his mother he instead has slowly started to sell off toys he doesn't play with or doesn't use anymore, or begged for donations online. This is not a substantial income, and the money Chris does get he wastes it very fast. He claims it's for his mothers doctors appointments and dentist appointments but he usually would post a few days later that he had gotten a new toy or a video game, implying that he either was lying about how much the doctors appointments and dentist appointments cost or that he was using his mothers money just for his own selfish needs.<br />
<br />
====Criminal Record====<br />
<br />
Chris, like many of us, has had as least one run in with the [[jerkop|police]]. However, being as exceptional as he is not only has Chris managed at least 6 [[Chris and the law|"run-ins"]] with law enforcement but at least 2 felony charges, multiple misdemonors, an EPO, and a lengthy stay in jail for charges of [[incest]]. Felons have a notoriously hard time finding employment, and being placed on the sex offender registry won't be doing Chris any favors.<br />
<br />
====Parental Influence====<br />
<br />
Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that has ultimately proven to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]].<br />
<br />
====Negative Experiences with Workers and [[Manajerks|Managers]]====<br />
<br />
While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some [[List of places that have banned Chris|bad experiences]] with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power.<br />
<br />
Chris also has had negative experiences with [[jerkops|mall security guards]]. [[Chris and the law|Chris's run-ins with the law]] have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to [[26 December 2014|bolt out of a Gamestop in fear]] when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from [[Chris and the law#2011|previous]] [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris vs. Fashion Square|experiences]].<br />
<br />
====Financial Enablers====<br />
{{Main|Enablers}}<br />
In the wake of the Idea Guys, Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him. Even after being arrested, fans continued to send him money through his inmate account. This first became an issue in early 2014, when their [[14 Branchland Court|current home]] caught on fire and his family had to move into a [[Rental House|rental home]] temporarily while it was being rennovated. In response to this, followers of Chris began to send him monetary donations as well as care packages. This quickly became something Chris dependend on, and began regularly begging for donations for years to come, making this form of enabling commonplace. He would often beg for money to support his family, and then conveniently have new toys visible in his room. However, this stream of income never ceased.<br />
<br />
===Internal factors===<br />
<br />
====Autism====<br />
<br />
Chris, believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess, doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In October 2017, Chris claimed that he was too busy with CWCville and his imaginary friends, in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In June 2019, Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his tomgirl gender, despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020.<br />
<br />
In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in May 2018 that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society.<br />
<br />
====Lack of Marketable Skills====<br />
As evidenced by his resume and lack of education, Chris lacks any marketable skills or education to get anything beyond a minimum wage job in the retail or fast food industry. Given his aforementioned lofty goals for salary and demanding things like having an assistant; Chris grossly overestimates what kind of a job one can find with an outdated Associate's degree and a brief employment at Wendy's.<br />
<br />
====General Laziness====<br />
Chris, being as lazy as he is, would find trouble keeping a job for long due to this laziness. This is evidenced by his brief stint as a Wendy's employee, in which he is quoted as taking "frequent breaks" and not taking care of his uniform<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4]]</ref>.<br />
<br />
When creating [[Sonichu (comic)|his magnum opus]], Chris had no schedule set in stone, only taking time to write and draw pages when he had "inspiration", arguably his most productive period was between [[Sonichu 7|2007]] and [[Sonichu 10|2010]] when he started to achieve online infamy and constantly fell for trolling schemes. Even then, these volumes took anywhere from several months to over a ''year'' before getting completed.<br />
<br />
Not to mention that Chris pretty much [[Chris_and_writing#Plot_and_Drama|wrote every Sonichu issue by the seat of his pants with minimal regard for consistency]] (and of course, writing is [[Chris_and_art#Visual_style_and_most_artistic_fundamentals|not the only place where he fails at that]]) resulting in the self-insert fanfic clusterfuck we've known and loved since the late 2000's.<br />
<br />
==Past Stance on Employment==<br />
<br />
In the past, Chris has shown some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>Chris's resume</ref>, he has also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in Cutco Cutlery at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. <br />
<br />
Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]], which has not been updated in over a decade. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the Pokémon Leagues at the GAMe PLACe counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite the fact that he was not doing this in a professional setting, and that the product itself leaves a lot to be desired. <br />
<br />
The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that is full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a [[Pokémon|Gym Leader's Assistant]] or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.<br />
<br />
==List of Jobs on Dimension 1218==<br />
<br />
===Wendy's===<br />
{{Main|Wendy's}}<br />
<br />
The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with. Chris was later fired from the restaurant, giving vague and contradictory answers about his dismissal.<br />
<br />
===Cutco Cutlery===<br />
{{Main|Cutco}}<br />
<br />
The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious pyramid scheme and borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and advertise this one quality in it.<br />
<br />
===Other Employers===<br />
<br />
Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, probably due to him complaining about trolls on his resume and believing he had held positions he considered signified employment, but was actually community service.<br />
<br />
==Current Stance on Employment==<br />
<br />
{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension}}<br />
<br />
Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, Chris himself have completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it. <br />
<br />
===Job as a Goddess===<br />
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210208080437/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job.<br />
<br />
=== Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? ===<br />
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://archive.md/7GWGx Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> and this was long before his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his mother]] permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of minimum-wage employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> a very brief {{w|multi-level marketing}} [[Cutco|stint]], and over a decade and a half's worth of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory information]] about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://archive.md/VUWuy Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Chris has also not applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September 2009]], and his [[:File:Scan0001.jpg|Sonichu-laden]] resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made.<br />
<br />
Chris being charged with a felony and/or placed on the Sex Offender Registry will likely be the final death blow to any sort of chance of him finding a job in the future. However, even if he does manage to miraculously find work somehow, there is a very, ''very'' significant chance that wannabe [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s will harass his employer into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] him simply because he was there.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref><br />
<br />
In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be valid, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now.<br />
<br />
==Chores==<br />
{{Dated}}<br />
{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}}<br />
<br />
Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris is also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is.<br />
<br />
===Chris loves chores===<br />
[[Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|thumb|right|"That thing had to weigh, like, 5, 10 tons!"]]<br />
[[Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|thumb|right|Bob working alone in the garden, on the verge of a 4th heart attack.]]<br />
<br />
Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.<br />
<br />
Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].<br />
<br />
In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work. <br />
<br />
Chris [[dreams]] of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his [[Sweetheart|wife]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]] at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref><br />
<br />
Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|being condemned]] by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with [[Alec Benson Leary]], when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], 7:18 in</ref><br />
<br />
===Chris hates chores===<br />
[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]]<br />
<br />
Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly gets Chris to do things for her. This sometimes drags him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref><br />
<br />
He also blames Barb for his house being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of his house is to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently leaves junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it. His room itself is extremely messy, with it being filled with thousands of legos and toys that he refuses to throw out.<br />
<br />
Chris's parents also make him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complains about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He puts off paying them for as long as possible so he can use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!<br />
<br />
{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}}<br />
<br />
In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both do equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11]]</ref><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chris and business]]<br />
*[[Chris and money]]<br />
*[[Chris and stress]]<br />
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]]<br />
*[[Dimensions]]<br />
*[[Manajerks]]<br />
*[[Monthly tugboat]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
{{Chris and}}<br />
{{Fantasies}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Main_Page&diff=302326Main Page2023-02-16T19:27:34Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
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<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>and (alleged) [[Affair with Mother|literal motherfucker]].</div><br />
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[[Category:Special]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler%27s_Adult_Chronicles&diff=301928Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles2023-01-31T04:04:55Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Honest}}<br />
{{Quote|And I HAVE the idea for the Video Game for myself, if I can swing that with SEGA as well, an epic tale of my tragic [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|Adult Life]] straight from my tortured [[heart level|heart]] and soul. I will bring the [[CWC Fighter|pain]] to the [[Jerkops]], I will kick [[Mary Lee Walsh]] into her cauldron to burn, as well as the other villians. And I will have support from my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric-Hedgehogs]], my [[Barbara|mother]] and [[Bob Chandler|father]], my Closest [[Gal-Pals]] who I've grown to love; [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Anna McLerran]] to name a couple, sparingly in the game. And I will square-off in the TRULY SELF-EPIC Battle between me, and my [[Naitsirhc|Dark Half]]. I plan to have THIS GAME ALONE go Multi-Console between [[Nintendo Wii]], PlayStation 2 and [[PlayStation 3]] ([[PlayStation 3#PlayStation Network|with downloadable content]]); screw the [[Hex Bawx|HEX-Box]].|From [[An Important Update]].}}<br />
[[File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles, Artwork.jpg|thumb|250px|Probably the most unintentionally accurate depiction of how Chris views real adult life.]]<br />
[[File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles.jpg|thumb|250px|To encourage a developer to pick up the game, Chris made his own ad to decrease production costs.]]<br />
<br />
'''''Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles''''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s ill-conceived, [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]] [[video game]] idea where one plays as Chris trying to fight [[Jerkops]] to find a true [[sweetheart]] and kill [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] as useless, but determined, sidekicks. There is no available information on the genre or mechanics of the game.<br />
<br />
Originally, Chris was determined to see Sonichu made into a game, but based on his interactions during [[Miyamoto Saga]] and in ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris seems more determined to make his own game where it's all about him and his failure to adjust to adult life... Which, ironically, would be befitting as an adaptation of [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]], which is about himself more than it is the title character.<br />
<br />
The game is (ostensibly) currently awaiting development beyond the front cover and the advertisement, both of which in themselves break innumerable copyrights. Please note that while he wants the game published for [[Sony|PS2]], [[PS3]], and [[Wii]], and it should absolutely never be made for the [[HEXBox]]. (Fans have waited to find out if the title will be redeveloped for newer generations of consoles.)<br />
<br />
On 4 October 2017, Chris mentioned his ''Adult Chronicles'' game again in a [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A 1|Q&A]] he did for [[Kiwi Farms]]. He said:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Mm. Oh yeah, um... Adul-- The... heh. There was a video game of my adult life to be made, it would have to be something like a choice-making game like, either ''[[Life Is Strange]]'' or ''{{w|Gone Home}}''. I like both of those, both of those are really good.}}<br />
<br />
Strangely enough, ''Gone Home'' is not a choice-making game or at all similar to ''Life Is Strange''; it is a mod of the survival horror game ''{{w|Amnesia: The Dark Descent}}''.<br />
<br />
== Cover ==<br />
In a bold decision in graphic design, the cover depicts Chris having ''already won'' his battle, staring determinedly out at an empty back yard littered with the broken iconography of his enemies. While most games presumably end in the hero overcoming his obstacles, only daring experiments in literary form (such as ''[[Wikipedia:Awesome Possum|Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino's Butt]]'', which also sucked, but not to this extent) actually establish victory before the start button is pressed.<br />
<br />
References made on box art: <br />
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]] symbol underneath CWC's foot.<br />
*The cracked helmet of [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<br />
*[[Merried Seinor Comic]]'s sword arm from [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|Sub-Episode 4]].<br />
*The [[Jerkhief]]'s delicious wooden badge, referenced on the cover of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]<br />
*The remains of the purple staff containing [[Count Graduon]].<br />
*[[Naitsirhc]]'s blue goggles that he wore before his codpiece-wearing [[homos]]exual makeover .<br />
*The [[Robotnik]] medallion that [[Sonic]] showed [[Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 1#Episode 5: "Informal Meeting"|Episode 5]].<br />
*Chris's [[Gitar of Fail]] (pointing in the wrong direction compared to the strap across his chest).<br />
*[[Son-Chu|Chris's car]] with a [[Vanity Plate of Fail|Sonichu license plate]].<br />
*Chris is shown wearing the [[Belt Buckle of Fail]].<br />
<br />
For a time, the ''Adult Chronicles'' illustration graced a console cover attached to Chris's original [[PS3]]. Chris preserved that cover as a "memento" after [[The MovingFoward videos|destroying the console]], but then transplanted it onto a new (old, big model) PS3 that he got with [[Monthly tugboat|your money]] shortly afterwards.<br />
<br />
==[[Shigeru Miyamoto]]'s response to the game==<br />
[[Image:ShigerumiyamotoEmail.jpg|650px|center]]<br />
<br />
==(Fanmade) CWC Adult Chronicles==<br />
In [[June 2014]], a demo was released of an actual, fan-made Adult Chronicles game; which in [[December 2014|December]] was upgraded to its alpha stage. The game itself is still in the making, but needless to say, is quite high quality for a flash [[Parody|parody]]; proving, [[Asperchu|yet again]], that even when purposely making something terrible in response to Chris, it can still turn out good, if not better than the [[Sonichu (comic)|original piece]]. The website, featuring trailers, updates, and of course, the game, can be found [http://maplechan22.wix.com/cwcadultchronicles here]. The game seems to be inspired by retro RPGs. As of now it remains under development and an official release date is still unconfirmed.<br />
<br />
In [[November 2015]], Chris discovered the fangame's existence. It goes without saying that he [[Doxing Jeff/Francine|was not pleased]].<br />
<br />
The game was actively updated until late [[July 2021]], when it was put on hiatus following the allegations that Chris [[Affair with Mother|had committed incest with his own mother]].<br />
<br />
==Later developments==<br />
After half a decade of not mentioning the game, in [[July 2021]], Chris claimed that "the actual game, already exists in C-197 in fully programmed media." He also complained that the fangame in this dimension consisted of "mainly interpretations and misinterpretations of my adult years post-High School Graduation from the context and lack of context available online. <ref>[[WCT DMs#Adult Chronicles exists in C-197]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
Image:CWConPS3.jpg<br />
Image:CWConPS2.jpg<br />
Image:CWConWii.jpg<br />
Image:CWConHEXBAWX.jpg<br />
Image:Cwc_adult_chronicles_-_ps4.jpg<br />
Image:Cwc adult chronicles - xbone.jpg<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br><br />
<br />
==Fan Videos==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles Gameplay Trailer<br />
| ytid = kEYvjaGA2TQ<br />
| stardate = 28 August 2012<br />
| maker = CWCAdultChronicles<br />
| Subject = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Adult Chronicles 2 teaser 1<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mvZeOnUSfis}}<br />
| Stardate = 30 [[August 2009]]<br />
| Maker = dadatsointsoin<br />
| Subject = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = AVGN Reviews Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles alter<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|JUUbM7dJfYo}}<br />
| stardate = 5 [[November 2017]]<br />
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuObAUCueXDNZpyhljfQ_kQ Craig Smith]<br />
| subject = <br />
| type = <br />
| info = An slightly changed-up version of the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxEAPXUbBOM<br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-Zp2An2bOEU}}<br />
| stardate = 4 [[October 2019]]<br />
| maker = Jonny Of The Internet<br />
| subject = <br />
| type = <br />
| info =A playthrough<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu Games}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Video games created by Chris]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_his_ego&diff=301603Chris and his ego2023-01-22T06:45:07Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Big fish, small pond */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Dated|[[Prison communications]]}}<br />
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}<br />
{{quote|WELL, PRIDE IS NOT A SIN, FOR ONE NEEDS SOME SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE TO MOTIVATE THEMSELVES AND INSPIRE OTHERS WITH SOUL AND HEART.|CPU Blue Heart distinguishing "pride" from "arrogance", ignoring that "pride" can have both a positive and negative connotation.<ref>[[:File:JailArt17.jpg]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]<br />
<br />
'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris and his personality|Chris's flaws]]. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.<br />
<br />
[[File:ChrisSlimeComicP2.jpg|Chris strokes his ego by having two of [[Ben Saint]]'s characters admire him.|thumb|250px]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of a beloved wife, children, and home).]]<br />
<br />
==Origins==<br />
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}<br />
<br />
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|shift blame for all of his troubles]] to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]<br />
<br />
But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. His paternal half-siblings managed to acquire doctorate degrees, becoming an eye doctor and a math expert respectively. They were able to develop and learn from the past.<br />
<br />
Chris's development isn't just delayed – it is arrested. His {{w|egocentrism}} has persisted well into his thirties when most children usually grow out of it around age seven. Autism isn't to blame entirely; while autistic people's idiosyncrasies can make them appear self-centered on the surface, only a few are self-absorbed. Most still have interest in others, and many get help to develop coping strategies and social skills. Not Chris, though. <br />
<br />
Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him.]]<br />
<br />
===The enablers===<br />
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]<br />
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}<br />
<br />
Chris's parents are [[enablers]] ''par excellence''. Barring unrelated catastrophes, there is no earthly reason why a grown adult in his thirties should live at home with his parents without even helping them out, let alone getting a job. Autism isn't an excuse, especially when Chris's autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as his activity exemplifies it to be. Adults with far more crippling psychiatric problems, from personality disorders to schizophrenia, live far more independently than Chris does. Even people who suffer from an {{w|intellectual disability}} (who would be called "retarded" in yesterday's parlance) can still often find work and live much more independently than Chris. Chris isn't one of those people at all; he can talk, read, write, and work a computer. <br />
<br />
The [[1990s]] are long gone; we don't need to constantly clarify that autistic people can be bright or successful. [[Bob]] may have missed that memo, mistakenly believing that a modern special education program would be the same as an old-fashioned mental institution, rife with padded cells, straitjackets, electric shocks, and routine frontal lobotomies. This has led the family to push a [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|conspiracy theory against his school district,]] and Bob fled the [[Charlottesville]] area with Chris until he graduated from high school. <br />
<br />
For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.<br />
<br />
Speaking of education, it can also be said the school system was yet another enabler in Chris's formative years. This was especially true at [[Manchester High]], [[Manchester High Leaks|where Chris received passing grades on schoolwork he didn't do correctly]] yet still eventually graduated on [[honor roll]] (or so he says), presumably out of excessive pity on the teachers' part. Were that indeed the case, it might have encouraged Chris to put in less than half-baked effort into things and yet act like the end result is something spectacular.<br />
<br />
===Monthly tugboat===<br />
{{Main|Monthly Tugboat}}<br />
{{Main|Chris and money}}<br />
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}} <br />
<br />
Chris receives disability insurance from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although it's intended to supplement income from a menial [[Chris and work|job]], such as a [[Wendy's|fast food joint]], Chris uses this check as his sole income. He is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]<br />
<br />
People have made a wide variety of political arguments for and against the tugboat. Some argue that Chris is abusing the welfare system. Others state that he deserves his check. Still others claim that his parents abused the system by proxy, or that the system itself is flawed. '''But these arguments are besides the point.''' Regardless of whether or not he ''should'' have the tugboat, it '''is''' an undeniable factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.<br />
<br />
===The Information Superhighway===<br />
{{Main|Chris and the Internet|Computers}}<br />
<br />
A member of the {{w|Oregon Trail generation}}, Chris has made many significant memories before 1991, when the {{w|World Wide Web}} made Internet access feasible for the masses<ref>"World Wide Web" and "Internet" are often used interchangeably, but they are different services. The Internet is a network and protocol for connecting computers, dating back to the 1960's. The Web ''uses'' the Internet to transfer resources such as documents via URL's, invented in 1991. [[How To Talk To Girls|One is the magnet, and the other is the metal]].</ref>. However, he would use the Internet regularly by the time he left [[high school]]. Born in [[1982]], he came of age in [[2000]], placing his childhood in a different millennium from his adulthood. Windows XP came out soon after, and with it came a multitude of "prosumer" creative programs, giving Chris something to do after kissing his [[Gal-Pals]] goodbye. <br />
<br />
Chris could record and share his own [[music]], publish his comics online, and even create his own [[DVD]]. These services were previously reserved for professionals who had access to expensive studio equipment, but they were now in the hands of the masses. Later in the decade, Chris became involved with [[YouTube]] and [[Facebook]], providing even more venues for self-publication. He no longer needed to wait for the [[Chris in the media|news media]] to notice him; he could ''be'' the media! <br />
<br />
Chris joined YouTube much earlier than many more respected web-celebs, during a time when most people saw it as a silly cat video website, not a career. But remember: this was Chris's closest brush with fame since the [[PokeNews]].<br />
<br />
===Blind luck and the cherry-picking fallacy===<br />
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]<br />
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]<br />
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]<br />
<br />
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego. <br />
<br />
Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel, partially because he doesn't have much else to do. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:<br />
<br />
:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."<br />
<br />
Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}}<br /><br />
<br />
[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, to become a true media sensation.<br />
<br />
On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.<br />
<br />
===Big fish, small pond===<br />
<br />
Chris is a small town [[transgender|girl]], living in a [[Saddest Heart in the World|lonely world]].<br />
<br />
Let's take a look at the cities of his life: <br />
<br />
* [[Ruckersville]] is such a tiny place that it only has one other notable resident: NASCAR driver Philip Morris, who is no Jeff Gordon or Danica Patrick. <br />
* The neighboring city of [[Charlottesville]] is mostly relevant for [[UVA]], the Monticello, and a handful of political rallies. It is a historic town, but it still has a small-town feel. It offers suburban conveniences like public parks, movie theaters, and a multitude of strip malls, but it lacks the hallmarks of a big city.<br />
* Chris's teenage environment, suburban [[Richmond]], is much more robust. However, Chris had a very sheltered adolescence and experienced little of what growing up in a large metropolitan area usually entails. Richmond also suffers from being far from any other major cities (except for Washington, DC).<br />
<br />
Chris rarely visits big cities that would quickly humble him. He lives in a very isolated world—his hometown has a smaller population than some high schools, and it isn't really known for up-and-coming artists. His main frame of reference was his classmates. Many of them took art as an elective, without any plans of becoming professionals.<br />
<br />
Additionally, him "succeeding in spite of his [[autism]]" might have only been relevant because the smaller school population made him one of the few autistic kids in class. In reality, autism is a fairly common condition that's more-often-than-not quite manageable with the right help and support, and many autistic kids grow up to be successful autistic adults. <br />
<br />
Despite not being conventionally popular, Chris peaked in [[high school]]. He bases most of his merit on his various HS accomplishments, and he talks about the time as if it were the time of his life. He considers himself bilingual because he took [[Spanish]]. He takes pride in the fact that his school displayed his work publicly, even though schools do that all the time. Chris's [[Comic Chris|comic book incarnation]] bears a strong resemblance to his high school self. Comic Chris doesn't wear [[glasses]] (the real Chris didn't wear them until 1998), and he's in good shape (much like HS Chris, likely because of gym class). Chris would often bring up his placement on the [[Honor Roll]] as proof of his intelligence, and his mental health would sharply decline after graduation. <br />
<br />
Chris has taken his big fish mentality out of his small pond and transferred it to the large ocean of the [[Internet]], not knowing that it's filled with much larger [[trolls|sharks]].<br />
<br />
[[Catherine]] suggested that Chris ought to move to a place like San Francisco or Seattle, or anywhere outside suburban Virginia. She told him that these places are more LGBT-friendly and have more job prospects. She also noted that these West Coast cities have higher minimum wages and more robust benefit and rehabilitation programs for autistic folks. She had several major points, but Chris just told her "but there's no San Francisco in Virginia," completely missing all of them. Wanting to have his cake and eat it too, Chris chooses to stay in his small-town Southeastern bubble because it's easier for him, yet he would clearly benefit from living in a more developed, liberal-minded area.<br />
<br />
In the same conversation, Chris stated the real reason for not leaving is that he doesn't want to leave his mother behind, since she is already on bad terms with [[Cole Smithey|her other adult child]]. Chris didn't consider that his Aunt Harriet could take Barb in, or that she could use her retirement insurance to live in an old folks' home. Chris even brought up that he doesn't want to move out of state after Barb dies.<ref>[[Catherine#The bowling outing]]</ref> <br />
<br />
Chris did acknowledge the perks of moving out of his valley, but it's only logical for him to move out. What is a person obsessed with fame and art doing in a place known for neither? Why does a loud-and-proud bisexual trans woman want to live in a place where most residents are massively homophobic and/or anti-trans? Why does the world's most documented autistic person want to live in an area that, by his own admission, doesn't understand autistic people? And why does someone who desperately wants a compatible partner limit himself to a tiny dating pool and then resort to long-distance troll dating, when there probably ''is'' someone for him in the Los Angeles area? And why, just why, does Chris want to treat his [[14 Branchland Court|dwelling]] as a temple for all to flock to, when it's so remote that Google Street View still doesn't cover it?<ref>Street view last checked 9 June 2021</ref> <br />
<br />
Because it's easy to be a big fish in a small pond, even after pissing off the other fish and getting [[banned]] from your favorite hangouts. <br />
<br />
Self-aggrandizing is fairly common in the family, and they can generally get away with it because of the small-town mentality. Chris's family loves to bring up [[Bob]]'s injection molding patent. He claims that we wouldn't even have a simple water bottle without it. In reality, {{w|plastic injection molding}} was invented before Bob was born. The Wikipedia article doesn't even mention Bob. All he designed was a control panel for one specific machine. If Bob didn't design it, [[Asperchu|someone else would have]]. Even Cole Smithey, who managed to escape the Weston-Chandler household as a young adult and go on to have a fairly successful career, bills himself as "The smartest film critic in the world".<br />
<br />
==Chris and narcissism==<br />
{{quote|I, was mistaken, but not wrong|Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Mistaken_about_being_linked_with_Uzume</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]<br />
<br />
It's unlikely that Chris actually suffers from {{w|narcissistic personality disorder}} (although [[Barbara Chandler|it's likely that someone else in his family]] does). While extreme self-centeredness and egotism is often conflated with the term 'Narcissism', NPD is also an existing mental condition characterized by more factors, such as emotional manipulation or split personalities for different people. Given the fact that Chris himself is too stupid to actually emotionally manipulate anyone, let alone [[Chris and manipulation|not get manipulated himself,]] Chris most likely isn't a narcissist in the real sense. However, it's possible that Barbara, who did employ plenty of abusive NPD-like traits such as suicide-baiting, might have influenced Chris's behavior in some ways. Chris actually mentioned, in a theatrical manner, considering suicide on his facebook posts several times, [[June 2014 Facebook Posts#And It Begins...|even for something as inconsequential as]][[Sonic Boom protests| his crusade against BLARMS]]. Another noticeable aspect is Chris's need to shove his own name, initials and [[Sonichu (character)|creations]] every chance he gets, specially other people's works, if it guarantees fame.<br />
<br />
That said, while a lot of factors like his relentless attention-whoring or his lack of empathy coincide with symptoms of the Disorder, factors of his ego were mostly results of his shitty upbringing and awful luck for winning contests giving him a huge sense of self-importance. Not to mention [[Chris and kindness|his lack of empathy for others]] was also partly caused by his autism. If Chris really had NPD, he likely has a[[Slow in the minds| low functioning]] variant of the disorder, and it may be hard to delineate his potential NPD symptoms from established ASD ones. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]<br />
<br />
==Manifestations==<br />
<br />
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.<br />
<br />
===Unwarranted self-importance===<br />
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]<br />
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}<br />
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}<br />
<br />
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other [[Unholy Quintet|laughed-at-not-with dumbass]] on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]".<br />
<br />
But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref><br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:<br />
<br />
*I will never hang notes on the wall again.<br />
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.<br />
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0&#61;No Respect...10&#61;Respect).<br />
<br />
Please reply via E-Mail.<br />
<br />
Christian C.}}<br />
<br />
E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:<br />
<br />
{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}<br />
<br />
It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}<br />
<br />
The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I realize I am famous like a princess|Chris on Twitter in October 2017}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Notable resident in Ruckersville, VA alongside a NASCAR racer, and about the 29,000th most popular individual in this world, so where is the Wikipedia Article about me? ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris on Twitter in August 2018}}<br />
<br />
He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.<br />
<br />
But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.<br />
<br />
===Fixation on self-image===<br />
<br />
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:CWCPOGS.jpeg|As pogs.<br />
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].<br />
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.<br />
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christian.<br />
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christine.<br />
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris-chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].<br />
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.<br />
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.<br />
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|''Skylanders'' avatar.<br />
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his ''Skylanders'' avatar, costing him $90 from the company.<br />
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.<br />
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg |As a ''[[My Little Pony|MLP]]'' character.<br />
File:Christine Night Weston Star Chandler.jpg|It's just getting ridiculous.<br />
File:Chris, Night Star Equestria Girls Mini dolls3.jpg|Christine Doll 2.0, next to Night Star, both blatant self-inserts.<br />
File:ChrisFunkos.jpg|As Funkos.<br />
File:Chris's ego, TSSSF card.jpg|As a [[TSSSF]] card featuring many of his self-inserts.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
===Persecution complex===<br />
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|walking through the valley of the shadow of death]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.<br />
<br />
And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}<br />
<br />
It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}<br />
<br />
In a [[100 2178|May 8 video]], Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life -- from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate -- thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].<br />
<br />
===Naïveté===<br />
{{Main|Naïve}}<br />
<br />
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.<br />
<br />
Chris equates honesty with [[Honest Content|divulging every last detail about his life]]. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.<br />
<br />
His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would've told if we'd end up seeing Chris [[cosplay]]ing or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. Unfortunately, though, it appears to not have happened. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.<br />
<br />
In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.<br />
<br />
===Hubris: the pride before the fall===<br />
[[File:Mother's day 2018 2.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]<br />
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}<br />
<br />
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].<br />
<br />
And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.<br />
<br />
But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?<br />
<br />
{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]] not realizing that public schools display students' art all the time.}}<br />
<br />
Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?<br />
<br />
{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]<br />
<br />
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.<br />
<br />
Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.<br />
<br />
Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call, it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''{{w|confirmation bias}}''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].<br />
<br />
This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "a parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.<br />
<br />
A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.<br />
[[File:The Captain congratulates Chris for 'providing a good service'.png|thumb|right|In [[Sonichu Special 5]], Chris found a way to twist a situation in which he was [[Guard Dogs|being helped]] into Chris himself doing the helping, ending up with him receiving praise from [[The Captain|a fictionalised version of one of the people trying to help him out]].]]<br />
A more recent example of Chris's pride and ego superseding the efforts of people around him can be seen in [[Sonichu Special 5]], in which [[The Captain]] vociferously praises Chris, flanked by [[Sonichu (character)|his]] [[Rosechu (character)|creations]] - for 'provide[ing] a good service to us all in this world', when in reality, the opposite was true; Chris had been manipulated by the Idea Guys, and The Captain, a member of the [[Guard Dogs]], was the actual person providing said services in attempting to break Chris free of their influence.<br />
<br />
===Materialism===<br />
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}<br />
<br />
It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.<br />
<br />
This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents, especially Barb.<br />
<br />
===Tender misanthropy===<br />
<br />
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].<br />
<br />
Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also support this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.<br />
<br />
===Disregard of rules of conduct online===<br />
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}<br />
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}<br />
<br />
Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.<br />
<br />
===Surrendering Information===<br />
<br />
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. His enthusiastic revelation of his own [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] is the shining example of this.<br />
<br />
Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris's experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.<br />
<br />
In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post, in particular, revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''<br />
<br />
The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brush fire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.<br />
<br />
In 2021, this would eventually prove to be Chris' ultimate downfall. In late [[July 2021]], Chris told [[Bella]] that he had [[Affair with Mother|sexual intercourse with Barbara Chandler, his own ''mother'']], even going so far as to describe the acts in [[Honest Content|uncomfortably graphic detail]]. One would think that Chris, [[Chris and reality|being in the highly delusional state that he was in at the time]], could have easily been dismissed here, ''until'' he confirmed that it was all true when pressed for the truth by [[Dillin Thomas]]. As a consequence, many horrified listeners immediately contacted law enforcement, as incest is a Class 5 Felony in Virginia; and to say nothing of the theoretical [[Chris and sex#Rape|rape]] charge that might go with it, due to Barb's possible dementia and possible unwillingness to have sex with her own son. Even more consequences would follow: Chris was removed from his home via an Emergency Protective Order and became the center of a humongous media circus that even had [[Ween|weens]] tracking him down in real-life, resulting in his eventual arrest on stream on the 1 August 2021.<br />
<br />
===Fishing for sympathy===<br />
{{quote|I... am so... smart! And yet I still have to- still learn everyth- I still n- have so much to learn.<ref>[[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one, in particular, lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.<br />
<br />
The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris's mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.<br />
<br />
The habit of wanting sympathy is so ingrained in Chris that he instinctively hedges when he makes a positive statement about himself. An example is from a video in which he said, "I am so smart," and immediately followed by downplaying it and saying he still had much to learn.<br />
<br />
==War against the ego==<br />
<br />
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.<br />
<br />
When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).<br />
<br />
There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.<br />
<br />
==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==<br />
[[File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 9.jpg|thumb|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]<br />
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_his_ego&diff=301602Chris and his ego2023-01-22T06:42:24Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Big fish, small pond */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Dated|[[Prison communications]]}}<br />
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}<br />
{{quote|WELL, PRIDE IS NOT A SIN, FOR ONE NEEDS SOME SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE TO MOTIVATE THEMSELVES AND INSPIRE OTHERS WITH SOUL AND HEART.|CPU Blue Heart distinguishing "pride" from "arrogance", ignoring that "pride" can have both a positive and negative connotation.<ref>[[:File:JailArt17.jpg]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]<br />
<br />
'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris and his personality|Chris's flaws]]. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.<br />
<br />
[[File:ChrisSlimeComicP2.jpg|Chris strokes his ego by having two of [[Ben Saint]]'s characters admire him.|thumb|250px]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of a beloved wife, children, and home).]]<br />
<br />
==Origins==<br />
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}<br />
<br />
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|shift blame for all of his troubles]] to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]<br />
<br />
But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. His paternal half-siblings managed to acquire doctorate degrees, becoming an eye doctor and a math expert respectively. They were able to develop and learn from the past.<br />
<br />
Chris's development isn't just delayed – it is arrested. His {{w|egocentrism}} has persisted well into his thirties when most children usually grow out of it around age seven. Autism isn't to blame entirely; while autistic people's idiosyncrasies can make them appear self-centered on the surface, only a few are self-absorbed. Most still have interest in others, and many get help to develop coping strategies and social skills. Not Chris, though. <br />
<br />
Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him.]]<br />
<br />
===The enablers===<br />
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]<br />
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}<br />
<br />
Chris's parents are [[enablers]] ''par excellence''. Barring unrelated catastrophes, there is no earthly reason why a grown adult in his thirties should live at home with his parents without even helping them out, let alone getting a job. Autism isn't an excuse, especially when Chris's autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as his activity exemplifies it to be. Adults with far more crippling psychiatric problems, from personality disorders to schizophrenia, live far more independently than Chris does. Even people who suffer from an {{w|intellectual disability}} (who would be called "retarded" in yesterday's parlance) can still often find work and live much more independently than Chris. Chris isn't one of those people at all; he can talk, read, write, and work a computer. <br />
<br />
The [[1990s]] are long gone; we don't need to constantly clarify that autistic people can be bright or successful. [[Bob]] may have missed that memo, mistakenly believing that a modern special education program would be the same as an old-fashioned mental institution, rife with padded cells, straitjackets, electric shocks, and routine frontal lobotomies. This has led the family to push a [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|conspiracy theory against his school district,]] and Bob fled the [[Charlottesville]] area with Chris until he graduated from high school. <br />
<br />
For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.<br />
<br />
Speaking of education, it can also be said the school system was yet another enabler in Chris's formative years. This was especially true at [[Manchester High]], [[Manchester High Leaks|where Chris received passing grades on schoolwork he didn't do correctly]] yet still eventually graduated on [[honor roll]] (or so he says), presumably out of excessive pity on the teachers' part. Were that indeed the case, it might have encouraged Chris to put in less than half-baked effort into things and yet act like the end result is something spectacular.<br />
<br />
===Monthly tugboat===<br />
{{Main|Monthly Tugboat}}<br />
{{Main|Chris and money}}<br />
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}} <br />
<br />
Chris receives disability insurance from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although it's intended to supplement income from a menial [[Chris and work|job]], such as a [[Wendy's|fast food joint]], Chris uses this check as his sole income. He is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]<br />
<br />
People have made a wide variety of political arguments for and against the tugboat. Some argue that Chris is abusing the welfare system. Others state that he deserves his check. Still others claim that his parents abused the system by proxy, or that the system itself is flawed. '''But these arguments are besides the point.''' Regardless of whether or not he ''should'' have the tugboat, it '''is''' an undeniable factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.<br />
<br />
===The Information Superhighway===<br />
{{Main|Chris and the Internet|Computers}}<br />
<br />
A member of the {{w|Oregon Trail generation}}, Chris has made many significant memories before 1991, when the {{w|World Wide Web}} made Internet access feasible for the masses<ref>"World Wide Web" and "Internet" are often used interchangeably, but they are different services. The Internet is a network and protocol for connecting computers, dating back to the 1960's. The Web ''uses'' the Internet to transfer resources such as documents via URL's, invented in 1991. [[How To Talk To Girls|One is the magnet, and the other is the metal]].</ref>. However, he would use the Internet regularly by the time he left [[high school]]. Born in [[1982]], he came of age in [[2000]], placing his childhood in a different millennium from his adulthood. Windows XP came out soon after, and with it came a multitude of "prosumer" creative programs, giving Chris something to do after kissing his [[Gal-Pals]] goodbye. <br />
<br />
Chris could record and share his own [[music]], publish his comics online, and even create his own [[DVD]]. These services were previously reserved for professionals who had access to expensive studio equipment, but they were now in the hands of the masses. Later in the decade, Chris became involved with [[YouTube]] and [[Facebook]], providing even more venues for self-publication. He no longer needed to wait for the [[Chris in the media|news media]] to notice him; he could ''be'' the media! <br />
<br />
Chris joined YouTube much earlier than many more respected web-celebs, during a time when most people saw it as a silly cat video website, not a career. But remember: this was Chris's closest brush with fame since the [[PokeNews]].<br />
<br />
===Blind luck and the cherry-picking fallacy===<br />
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]<br />
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]<br />
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]<br />
<br />
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego. <br />
<br />
Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel, partially because he doesn't have much else to do. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:<br />
<br />
:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."<br />
<br />
Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}}<br /><br />
<br />
[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, to become a true media sensation.<br />
<br />
On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.<br />
<br />
===Big fish, small pond===<br />
<br />
Chris is a small town [[transgender|girl]], living in a [[Saddest Heart in the World|lonely world]].<br />
<br />
Let's take a look at the cities of his life: <br />
<br />
* [[Ruckersville]] is such a tiny place that it only has one other notable resident: NASCAR driver Philip Morris, who is no Jeff Gordon or Danica Patrick. <br />
* The neighboring city of [[Charlottesville]] is mostly relevant for [[UVA]], the Monticello, and a handful of political rallies. It is a historic town, but it still has a small-town feel. It offers suburban conveniences like public parks, movie theaters, and a multitude of strip malls, but it lacks the hallmarks of a big city.<br />
* Chris's teenage environment, suburban [[Richmond]], is much more robust. However, Chris had a very sheltered adolescence and experienced little of what growing up in a large metropolitan area usually entails. Richmond also suffers from being far from any other major cities (except for Washington, DC).<br />
<br />
Chris rarely visits big cities that would quickly humble him. He lives in a very isolated world—his hometown has a smaller population than some high schools, and it isn't really known for up-and-coming artists. His main frame of reference was his classmates. Many of them took art as an elective, without any plans of becoming professionals.<br />
<br />
Additionally, him "succeeding in spite of his [[autism]]" might have only been relevant because the smaller school population made him one of the few autistic kids in class. In reality, autism is a fairly common condition that's more-often-than-not quite manageable with the right help and support, and many autistic kids grow up to be successful autistic adults. <br />
<br />
Despite not being conventionally popular, Chris peaked in [[high school]]. He bases most of his merit on his various HS accomplishments, and he talks about the time as if it were the time of his life. He considers himself bilingual because he took [[Spanish]]. He takes pride in the fact that his school displayed his work publicly, even though schools do that all the time. Chris's [[Comic Chris|comic book incarnation]] bears a strong resemblance to his high school self. Comic Chris doesn't wear [[glasses]] (the real Chris didn't wear them until 1998), and he's in good shape (much like HS Chris, likely because of gym class). Chris would often bring up his placement on the [[Honor Roll]] as proof of his intelligence, and his mental health would sharply decline after graduation. <br />
<br />
Chris has taken his big fish mentality out of his small pond and transferred it to the large ocean of the [[Internet]], not knowing that it's filled with much larger [[trolls|sharks]].<br />
<br />
[[Catherine]] suggested that Chris ought to move to a place like San Francisco or Seattle, or anywhere outside suburban Virginia. She told him that these places are more LGBT-friendly and have more job prospects. She also noted that these West Coast cities have higher minimum wages and more robust benefit and rehabilitation programs for autistic folks. She had several major points, but Chris just told her "but there's no San Francisco in Virginia," completely missing all of them. Wanting to have his cake and eat it too, Chris chooses to stay in his small-town Southeastern bubble because it's easier for him, yet he would clearly benefit from living in a more developed, liberal-minded area.<br />
<br />
In the same conversation, Chris stated the real reason for not leaving is that he doesn't want to leave his mother behind, since she is already on bad terms with [[Cole Smithey|her other adult child]]. Chris didn't consider that his Aunt Harriet could take Barb in, or that she could use her retirement insurance to live in an old folks' home. Chris even brought up that he doesn't want to move out of state after Barb dies.<ref>[[Catherine#The bowling outing]]</ref> <br />
<br />
Chris did acknowledge the perks of moving out of his valley, but it's only logical for him to move out. What is a person obsessed with fame and art doing in a place known for neither? Why does a loud-and-proud bisexual trans woman want to live in a place where most residents are massively homophobic and anti-trans? Why does the world's most documented autistic person want to live in an area that, by his own admission, doesn't understand autistic people? And why does someone who desperately wants a compatible partner limit himself to a tiny dating pool and then resort to long-distance troll dating, when there probably ''is'' someone for him in the Los Angeles area? And why, just why, does Chris want to treat his [[14 Branchland Court|dwelling]] as a temple for all to flock to, when it's so remote that Google Street View still doesn't cover it?<ref>Street view last checked 9 June 2021</ref> <br />
<br />
Because it's easy to be a big fish in a small pond, even after pissing off the other fish and getting [[banned]] from your favorite hangouts. <br />
<br />
Self-aggrandizing is fairly common in the family, and they can generally get away with it because of the small-town mentality. Chris's family loves to bring up [[Bob]]'s injection molding patent. He claims that we wouldn't even have a simple water bottle without it. In reality, {{w|plastic injection molding}} was invented before Bob was born. The Wikipedia article doesn't even mention Bob. All he designed was a control panel for one specific machine. If Bob didn't design it, [[Asperchu|someone else would have]]. Even Cole Smithey, who managed to escape the Weston-Chandler household as a young adult and go on to have a fairly successful career, bills himself as "The smartest film critic in the world".<br />
<br />
==Chris and narcissism==<br />
{{quote|I, was mistaken, but not wrong|Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Mistaken_about_being_linked_with_Uzume</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]<br />
<br />
It's unlikely that Chris actually suffers from {{w|narcissistic personality disorder}} (although [[Barbara Chandler|it's likely that someone else in his family]] does). While extreme self-centeredness and egotism is often conflated with the term 'Narcissism', NPD is also an existing mental condition characterized by more factors, such as emotional manipulation or split personalities for different people. Given the fact that Chris himself is too stupid to actually emotionally manipulate anyone, let alone [[Chris and manipulation|not get manipulated himself,]] Chris most likely isn't a narcissist in the real sense. However, it's possible that Barbara, who did employ plenty of abusive NPD-like traits such as suicide-baiting, might have influenced Chris's behavior in some ways. Chris actually mentioned, in a theatrical manner, considering suicide on his facebook posts several times, [[June 2014 Facebook Posts#And It Begins...|even for something as inconsequential as]][[Sonic Boom protests| his crusade against BLARMS]]. Another noticeable aspect is Chris's need to shove his own name, initials and [[Sonichu (character)|creations]] every chance he gets, specially other people's works, if it guarantees fame.<br />
<br />
That said, while a lot of factors like his relentless attention-whoring or his lack of empathy coincide with symptoms of the Disorder, factors of his ego were mostly results of his shitty upbringing and awful luck for winning contests giving him a huge sense of self-importance. Not to mention [[Chris and kindness|his lack of empathy for others]] was also partly caused by his autism. If Chris really had NPD, he likely has a[[Slow in the minds| low functioning]] variant of the disorder, and it may be hard to delineate his potential NPD symptoms from established ASD ones. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]<br />
<br />
==Manifestations==<br />
<br />
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.<br />
<br />
===Unwarranted self-importance===<br />
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]<br />
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}<br />
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}<br />
<br />
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other [[Unholy Quintet|laughed-at-not-with dumbass]] on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]".<br />
<br />
But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref><br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:<br />
<br />
*I will never hang notes on the wall again.<br />
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.<br />
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0&#61;No Respect...10&#61;Respect).<br />
<br />
Please reply via E-Mail.<br />
<br />
Christian C.}}<br />
<br />
E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:<br />
<br />
{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}<br />
<br />
It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}<br />
<br />
The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I realize I am famous like a princess|Chris on Twitter in October 2017}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Notable resident in Ruckersville, VA alongside a NASCAR racer, and about the 29,000th most popular individual in this world, so where is the Wikipedia Article about me? ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris on Twitter in August 2018}}<br />
<br />
He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.<br />
<br />
But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.<br />
<br />
===Fixation on self-image===<br />
<br />
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:CWCPOGS.jpeg|As pogs.<br />
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].<br />
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.<br />
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christian.<br />
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christine.<br />
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris-chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].<br />
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.<br />
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.<br />
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|''Skylanders'' avatar.<br />
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his ''Skylanders'' avatar, costing him $90 from the company.<br />
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.<br />
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg |As a ''[[My Little Pony|MLP]]'' character.<br />
File:Christine Night Weston Star Chandler.jpg|It's just getting ridiculous.<br />
File:Chris, Night Star Equestria Girls Mini dolls3.jpg|Christine Doll 2.0, next to Night Star, both blatant self-inserts.<br />
File:ChrisFunkos.jpg|As Funkos.<br />
File:Chris's ego, TSSSF card.jpg|As a [[TSSSF]] card featuring many of his self-inserts.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
===Persecution complex===<br />
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|walking through the valley of the shadow of death]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.<br />
<br />
And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}<br />
<br />
It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}<br />
<br />
In a [[100 2178|May 8 video]], Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life -- from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate -- thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].<br />
<br />
===Naïveté===<br />
{{Main|Naïve}}<br />
<br />
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.<br />
<br />
Chris equates honesty with [[Honest Content|divulging every last detail about his life]]. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.<br />
<br />
His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would've told if we'd end up seeing Chris [[cosplay]]ing or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. Unfortunately, though, it appears to not have happened. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.<br />
<br />
In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.<br />
<br />
===Hubris: the pride before the fall===<br />
[[File:Mother's day 2018 2.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]<br />
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}<br />
<br />
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].<br />
<br />
And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.<br />
<br />
But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?<br />
<br />
{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]] not realizing that public schools display students' art all the time.}}<br />
<br />
Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?<br />
<br />
{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]<br />
<br />
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.<br />
<br />
Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.<br />
<br />
Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call, it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''{{w|confirmation bias}}''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].<br />
<br />
This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "a parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.<br />
<br />
A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.<br />
[[File:The Captain congratulates Chris for 'providing a good service'.png|thumb|right|In [[Sonichu Special 5]], Chris found a way to twist a situation in which he was [[Guard Dogs|being helped]] into Chris himself doing the helping, ending up with him receiving praise from [[The Captain|a fictionalised version of one of the people trying to help him out]].]]<br />
A more recent example of Chris's pride and ego superseding the efforts of people around him can be seen in [[Sonichu Special 5]], in which [[The Captain]] vociferously praises Chris, flanked by [[Sonichu (character)|his]] [[Rosechu (character)|creations]] - for 'provide[ing] a good service to us all in this world', when in reality, the opposite was true; Chris had been manipulated by the Idea Guys, and The Captain, a member of the [[Guard Dogs]], was the actual person providing said services in attempting to break Chris free of their influence.<br />
<br />
===Materialism===<br />
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}<br />
<br />
It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.<br />
<br />
This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents, especially Barb.<br />
<br />
===Tender misanthropy===<br />
<br />
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].<br />
<br />
Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also support this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.<br />
<br />
===Disregard of rules of conduct online===<br />
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}<br />
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}<br />
<br />
Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.<br />
<br />
===Surrendering Information===<br />
<br />
If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. His enthusiastic revelation of his own [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] is the shining example of this.<br />
<br />
Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris's experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.<br />
<br />
In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post, in particular, revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''<br />
<br />
The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brush fire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.<br />
<br />
In 2021, this would eventually prove to be Chris' ultimate downfall. In late [[July 2021]], Chris told [[Bella]] that he had [[Affair with Mother|sexual intercourse with Barbara Chandler, his own ''mother'']], even going so far as to describe the acts in [[Honest Content|uncomfortably graphic detail]]. One would think that Chris, [[Chris and reality|being in the highly delusional state that he was in at the time]], could have easily been dismissed here, ''until'' he confirmed that it was all true when pressed for the truth by [[Dillin Thomas]]. As a consequence, many horrified listeners immediately contacted law enforcement, as incest is a Class 5 Felony in Virginia; and to say nothing of the theoretical [[Chris and sex#Rape|rape]] charge that might go with it, due to Barb's possible dementia and possible unwillingness to have sex with her own son. Even more consequences would follow: Chris was removed from his home via an Emergency Protective Order and became the center of a humongous media circus that even had [[Ween|weens]] tracking him down in real-life, resulting in his eventual arrest on stream on the 1 August 2021.<br />
<br />
===Fishing for sympathy===<br />
{{quote|I... am so... smart! And yet I still have to- still learn everyth- I still n- have so much to learn.<ref>[[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one, in particular, lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.<br />
<br />
The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris's mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.<br />
<br />
The habit of wanting sympathy is so ingrained in Chris that he instinctively hedges when he makes a positive statement about himself. An example is from a video in which he said, "I am so smart," and immediately followed by downplaying it and saying he still had much to learn.<br />
<br />
==War against the ego==<br />
<br />
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.<br />
<br />
When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).<br />
<br />
There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.<br />
<br />
==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==<br />
[[File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 9.jpg|thumb|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]<br />
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki:Frequently_Asked_Questions&diff=301439CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions2023-01-20T03:59:20Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|Welcome to the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]].]]<br />
<br />
'''Welcome, new Christorian.'''<br />
<br />
New people are being initiated to the quirks and horrors of [[Chris]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[troll]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.<br />
<br />
All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about the internet's favorite manchild. <br />
<br />
''This page was last updated on 20 January 2023.''<br />
==Trolling==<br />
<br />
; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?<br />
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris and his entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism (see [[Chris in the media]]). There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to a wider attention on the Internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was first [[28 October 2011|arrested and convicted]] of a felony, he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]], and accidentally [[Destruction Of Chris's House|set fire to]] [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] in real life as well. If you don't believe us, you can look up Chris's many [[Chris and the law|court records]], both civil and criminal. <br />
<br />
; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] <s>guy</s> person?<br />
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. Most modern Chris-observers, having seen the [[Idea Guys|extreme damage]] that some trolls could wreak, hold a dim view of [[weening|contemporary trolling efforts]]. The motivations of Chris's trolls over the years has varied, but few had any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem. Some former trolls have even [[BlueSpike#Today|expressed regret]] for taking things too far in their younger years. <br />
<br />
: Even before the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] scandal, Chris has been notorious on the Internet as a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Niggos|intol]][[Women's rights|erant]], [[Obesity|unfit]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Chris and work|sullen]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes his [[United States|countrymen]]'s hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society (comics aside), despite those with more severe mental states living far more independently and successfully. <br />
<br />
: On top of that, Chris was once incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling; this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation. While Chris was [[Chris and manipulation|manipulated]] into making many of these videos, he ultimately decided to create and publish them. <br />
<br />
:However, before you want to inflict harm upon Chris and claim that Chris gives you [[Autism|autistics]] 'a bad name', please read the [[A-Logging]] and [[Weening]] articles.<br />
<br />
; Why don't you try helping him instead?<br />
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he refuses to listen. Even his [[Anna McLerran|actual friends]] could not help him. From 2018 onward, he managed to alienate nearly all of his IRL friends, instead preferring interactions with [[imaginary friends]], [[enablers]], and fans at [[conventions]]. He will only listen if you tell him what he wants to hear. <br />
<br />
; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?<br />
: '''All efforts to troll or otherwise contact Chris are ''very strongly discouraged'''''. The effects of Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]]'s death, his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s ill-health and, most recently, the [[Idea Guys]]' deliberately manipulative trolling operations against him have left Chris's grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] (and his well-being in general) tenuous at best, with various [[enablers]] making it even worse. Relating to this is how he is [[Weening#The Chris of today is nothing like his former self|now a very, ''very'' different person]] from who he was when the trolling was at its peak, and only sees such attempts to provoke him as indirect support for his current worldview; so it's not even worth bothering with if you're going into it expecting to get amusing reactions along the lines of the past. For some time, the [[Kiwi Farms]] community, with which this wiki is associated, maintained a {{plain link|https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/|wall of shame}} for [[weening|those]] who seek to disrupt Chris and entertain nobody, and even now will actively go after anyone who attempts to do so. Times have changed; so keeping all this in mind, you'll be far better off just sticking with [[CWCki|casual observation]] and helping to [[CWCki:Improvement|document and provide information]] on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come.<br />
<br />
==Psychology==<br />
<br />
; Is he currently seeing a psychiatrist or therapist?<br />
: '''Maybe.''' Chris was legally required in [[2018]], among other things, to attend psychological therapy as an alternative to [[Chris and the law#2018|conviction]] after trespassing. Since 23 April 2019, he has fulfilled this obligation and no longer has any professional help. Chris dismisses the idea of seeking professional help, preferring to [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles|administer it to himself using Lego]]. See [[Chris and mental healthcare]]. Since 1 [[August 2021]], [[Jail Saga|Chris is in custody, awaiting trial for incest]]; he is likely to be ordered to undergo more psychiatric treatment. At the end of February 2022, Chris was transferred to another presently-unknown facility, which was speculated and later confirmed to be [[Western State Hospital|a mental institution]]. It is widely believed this treatment ended, as he was returned to jail in early May 2022. The treatment was also most likely given to prepare Chris for court competency. <br />
<br />
; Is he really autistic?<br />
: '''Yes.''' Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], Chris was diagnosed with ''autistic disorder'' (DSM-IV 299.00) as a young child, and the same report backs up his claim. See [[Autism]]. However, his common qualifying phrase ''high-functioning'' means only that he is not [[slow-in-the-minds|mentally retarded]]. The phrase is not formally part of the diagnosis, and many autism advocates discourage its use. <br />
<br />
; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?<br />
: '''It depends''' on what counts as ''having'' Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed with it, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label. Among institutions that still distinguish between autism and Asperger's, of which many do not, Asperger's syndrome is distinguished from severer varieties of autism by average intelligence and adequate language ability, matching Chris. Dr Asperger's work was in German, and not known to Anglophone psychiatrists until the early [[1990s]]; Chris probably would have received this diagnosis instead if he born a few years later. Furthermore, the condition was removed from the modern ''DSM-5'' and replaced with the catch-all ''Autism Spectrum Disorder'', making the distinction completely meaningless. <br />
<br />
; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]] or intellectually disabled?<br />
: '''[[:File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg|Maybe,]] but probably not in the clinical sense.''' A more proper word for Chris is ''inept''. Even if Chris was to be considered intellectually disabled, it'll certainly be a mild or borderline intellectual disability. Despite there being a possibility, he still managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. He can read, write, do basic household chores, and operate electronic equipment. While his [[Chris and English|English]] skills aren't perfect, he has very few issues with basic sentence structure. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions to an extent. He has a consistent (albeit warped and [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]]) ethical system and recognizes when what he is doing is not working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or go about his way anyway). His foolishness is in that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering, and that after years of internet manipulation, his ability to distinguish [[Chris and reality|reality]] from fantasy has wasted away.<br />
<br />
; What is Chris's IQ?<br />
: '''That's inconclusive.''' In [[Mailbag 19]] and [[Mailbag 21]], he claimed to have taken an IQ test at a [[Chesterfield County]] institute, most likely as a teenager. He received an IQ of "150". In [[Mailbag 22]], a commenter pointed out that he may have taken the Cattell IQ test (150 on the Cattell is 130 on the standard scale), unless he was outright lying, which is most likely. An IQ of 130 is above average, but not genius material. Many autistic people also excel at pattern thinking, which is a key area of many IQ tests. Also, IQ doesn't measure [[Honor roll|what you've learned]], [[Kindness|empathy]], social skills, or other areas that count towards real-world success. Psychologists do not even agree on whether it's an objective measure of intelligence, with a common quip being that it "only measures how well you do on IQ tests." Even if Chris did have a high IQ, it hasn't done much for him in the real world.<br />
<br />
; Is Chris schizophrenic?<br />
: '''Probably not.''' While autism and schizophrenia share some symptoms, their development is nothing like each other. Autism is inborn and shows in early childhood, while schizophrenia usually appears well into adulthood. Schizophrenia's symptoms often deteriorate over time, while autism is normally constant throughout life (except for a few children who relapse into non-verbosity). <abbr title="Inability to distinguish reality from fantasy.">Psychosis</abbr> and confused language are common to both, but take different forms: schizophrenics may hear voices or otherwise hallucinate and think disjointedly (whence the name), while autists understand others' normal language literally, missing the subtext that something fictional is not meant to be taken seriously, and presuming their own thoughts automatically clear to others.<br />
<br />
:Furthermore, Chris does distinguish between fantasy and reality, simply deluding himself into believing that the fantasy world is real on another [[dimension]]. Also, Chris's visions of that dimension come from [[meditation]] (read: daydreaming), not involuntary hallucinations.<br />
<br />
==Sex==<br />
; Is Chris an <abbr title="Involuntary celibate">incel</abbr>? If not, what's the deal with the love quest?<br />
: Chris never used the word for himself, but his beliefs and actions overlapped significantly with what is now the incel community. The word ''incel'' only entered common use about [[2017]].<ref>[https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&q=incel Global search trends for ''incel'']</ref> Chris described himself long before this as a [[virgin with rage]], even bringing up the term in casual conversations with people he just met. He would speak of [[boyfriend-free girl]]s, the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and even a conspiracy that [[Virginia is for virgins|true love was illegal in his home state]]. <br />
<br />
: He viewed his search for a suitable mate as the [[Love Quest]], treating his search for a girlfriend like a video game. He wrote [[Saddest Heart in the World|poems]], [[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas|letters to Santa]], and even [[So Need a Cute Girl|"Weird Al"-style parody songs]] about his biggest problem: that other [[JERKS]] (men) take all the pretty [[sweetheart]]s. While he has lost his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm|prostitute]], he has not been in a relationship that led to sex, and his Love Quest only ended when he destroyed his libido through [[Chris and health#Hormone treatment|self-administered oestrogen]] and [[polyamorous marriage|''married'']] his [[OC]]s by early 2018. While it would be anachronistic to call him an incel, as his Love Quest was already dead by the time the word and community became current, he certainly behaved like them years before. <br />
<br />
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?<br />
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not [[TRUE and HONEST]] love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] though, Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to [[Mia Hamm|a hooker]] who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref><br />
<br />
; What is Chris's sexual orientation?<br />
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there is no consensus on this. For most of his adult life, Chris acted as though he was attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked. In [[2018]], while under the [[Idea Guys]]' manipulative influence, Chris was [[brainwashed]] into believing he was [[bisexual]], and was [[polyamorous marriage|married to several of his (mostly male) fictional characters]], retaining these beliefs long after the Idea Guys were ousted, yet has made no attempts to get into a relationship with a real-life man. [[Jacob Sockness]] attempted to groom Chris into a relationship but Chris ultimately distanced himself from Sockness. Some consider that Chris is too immature to have earnest sexual attraction towards others (see ''Is Chris asexual?'', below.) <br />
<br />
; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?<br />
: '''Yes.''' Chris had tweeted in [[2018]] <!--- Which month? One should link to the tweet page.--> that he is one. Traditionally he would state that he did not consider himself to be one,<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref> yet it was clear from an early period that he did enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, even [[Rule 34|drawing his own]] into [[Sonichu 8|his]] [[Giant Penis Comic|comics]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[ECV 00002|Chris-Chan Sonichu]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, yet he does not participate in the wider furry community. <br />
<br />
; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?<br />
: '''No''', but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these actions are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.<br />
<br />
; Is Chris transgender?<br />
: '''Yes.''' As of 2015, Chris identifies as [[transgender]]. He had explored his gender identity for years beforehand stemming from gender dysphoria issues, in 2011 identifying as a "tomgirl" (identifying as male and crossdressing as a woman); in 2014, identifying as [[August_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_comes_out...kinda|Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser]] and as a lesbian; and identifying as female and transgender in 2015 when he began referring to himself as a "trans woman" and "Christine" and legally changed his name and gender in [[2016]]. Well before [[2011]], when Chris first called himself a tomgirl, he had been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he had worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]].<br />
<br />
; Is Chris asexual?<br />
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional rite of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive was atypical even before beginning hormone replacement therapy in [[2016]], evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]]. It is worth noting that a moderately common autistic symptom is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person. Many asexuals also possess a libido and can enjoy masturbation or sex; the difference lies in a lack of real attraction to other people.<br />
<br />
==''Sonichu''==<br />
; What's the deal with [[Sonic]], anyway?<br />
: Chris has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and [[1993|many years ago,]] was one of 100 winners of a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] which, through its grand prize of a $1000 {{w|KB Toys|Kay-Bee Toys}} shopping spree, allowed him to stock up on various ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series in general also appears to have certain qualities that attract autistic fans more than other game series.<br />
<br />
; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?<br />
: For those who may be curious, they are located [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|here]].<br />
<br />
; Will he ever draw more [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]?<br />
: Chris stopped drawing regular comics in [[February 2010]] with [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]; since then, he has released issues 11 to 13 and partially completed issues 14 to 17; however, these later issues often only bear a slight resemblance to the traditional comics and are more about whatever trolling issues have been happening. Since going to jail, he has produced some one-off drawings; see [[Praetor Jail Art]].<br />
<br />
==Contact Chris==<br />
; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?<br />
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris does not read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref> Anyway, Chris is currently in jail with no access to the [[Internet]].<br />
<br />
; What is his dox?<br />
: Chris's dox can be found [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]]. However, he is currently in jail so you can't call him or visit.<br />
<br />
==The CWCki itself==<br />
; Does the CWCki exaggerate or spin anything?<br />
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter and the intentional omission of information from trolls who were [[Manipulation|manipulating]] Chris. Many were CWCki editors themselves. This is especially true for the [[Classic Chris]] era. <br />
<br />
: For various good reasons, the CWCki largely covers the Classic sagas from Chris's perspective: information presented here was what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It is probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much as it is best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are often contrived, especially when covering events prior to Bob's death.<br />
<br />
: For example: <br />
<br />
:* [[Clyde Cash]] was the fictitious persona of a single anonymous troll, but the CWCki treats him as if he ''were'' a real person because he was to Chris. We also treat each of his personas as separate people because they were to Chris. <br />
<br />
:* We keep a single article on [[Blanca]] and not the multiple male trolls who played her. <br />
<br />
:* [[Emily]] and [[Kim]] were played by the same woman, but the CWCki treats them as separate people because they were to Chris. <br />
<br />
:* Celebrity trolls are obviously trolls impersonating celebrities – did you really think [[Billy Mays]] was involved in trolling?<br />
<br />
: For transparency's sake, the CWCki discloses such discrepancies from reality using Protip boxes, troll disclosures, and other notices. <br />
<br />
: Coverage of Modern Christory takes a more matter-of-fact approach, thanks to the ease of [[dox]]ing Internet trolls. Modern CWCki editors are also gradually transitioning classic articles away from the dramatized writing of yesterday, so those who prefer clarity are in luck. <br />
<br />
; What's the deal with ''Chris and''? What is a saga?<br />
: The CWCki has '''a few series that tie it all together'''. You can think of them as the skeleton, bloodstream, and nervous system of the site.<br />
:* The [[Chris and]] series. This series is purely topical – it discusses subjects as they relate to Chris, regardless of the time period. These are the things that make Chris Chris. Such topics range from Chris's relationship with [[Chris and art|art]] and [[Video games|gaming]], to his [[health|physical]] and [[Coping|mental health]]. <br />
:* The [[Saga]] page. It describes the major events in Chris's life from the womb to the modern world, but still takes a topical approach, looking at arcs and happenings in Chris's existence.<br />
:* The [[CWChronology]]: purely chronological as its name suggests. Here, you can learn Chris's entire story from start to now, even including events from before his conception. <br />
; What happened to the tagline ''Where no shit is too minor''?<br />
: The tagline was '''retired''' on 20 December 2019, '''because there was a significant increase in people trying to influence Chris'''. Many of them fall into one of the ''[[Unholy Quintet]]'':<br />
:* [[White Knights]] – people who feel sorry for Chris, and try to help Chris, often without realising that getting Chris to halt his [[Chris and his Ego|self-destructive lifestyle]] is going to take a lot more than [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job|a message]] on social media, or a [[Patreon]] donation.<br />
:* [[A-Logging|A-logs]] – people who express disproportionate hatred for Chris, often wishing [[Destruction Of Chris's House|misery]] or physical harm on him.<br />
:* [[Enablers]] – people who encourage Chris’s negative habits. Some White Knights find themselves having to do this to get in touch with Chris. Some weens have also found themselves doing this to purposefully screw him up.<br />
:* [[Weens]] – people who try and fail to annoy Chris.<br />
<br />
; Why does the CWCki continue to refer to Chris by his old name and pronouns?<br />
:*The simplest reason for this is '''consistency'''. The CWCki has thousands of articles, and it would be an impossible, arduous task to change every "he" to "she" throughout Chris's entire existence, plus it's effectively [[Retcon|historical revisionism]]. <br />
:*Some articles require the context of Chris's maleness. References to Chris's orientation and past hatred of [[gay]] men won't be as obvious if we didn't address Chris by his assigned gender. Same thing with atypical/feminine behavior (such as his high voice and use of "Gal-Pals"), and behavior considered creepy for guys but not so much for women (such as getting [[Megan|touchy-feely]]).<br />
:*Using "he" pre-transition and "she" post-transition may seem like a fair compromise, but the exact beginning of Chris's transition is hard to define. It can be confusing on articles that cover Chris both before and after his transition, such as the [[Chris and]] series. Dissenting users have also suggested using "(s)he" or "they", but Chris doesn't use they/them pronouns either, and "(s)he" looks clunky.<br />
:*Community consensus. YouTube and Twitter commentators overwhelmingly call Chris male, as do some [[Sachumo|documentarians]]. While Chris did receive a legal name/gender change, there's considerable debate in the community as to whether he is a genuine trans woman. CWC communities, such as [[Kiwi Farms]], have an unfortunate tendency to "misgender" trans people in general. [[Null]] said he refers to Chris as "he" because he "carries male genetics" and insisted that he was a straight male most of his life. Most Christorians use "he" for Chris, and the CWCki reflects this trend. <br />
:* Relating to the above, his previous first names ('''Chris'''topher, '''Chris'''tian) and his current one ('''Chris'''tine) can all easily be shortened to just "Chris", "Chris-Chan" or "CWC", which is what he's mostly referred to as anyway regardless of pronouns.<br />
<br />
==Miscellaneous==<br />
<br />
; What does he smell like?<br />
: As of 19 October 2019, {{plain link|https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5483529|cannabis}}. Historical answers include "rotten watermelons" (according to [[Emily]]), a variant of the [[Collosal Chan|homeless person]] stench (according to [[Robert Simmons V]]) or, as some field agents have reported, 'body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]'. The point is, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]]. While in jail, it seems his hygiene improved, with [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|daily showers]] the norm. <br />
<br />
; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?<br />
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.<br />
<br />
; What's the deal with the striped shirts?<br />
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref> Following Chris's introduction to the world of Internet trolling, [[Chris and fashion|his wardrobe went through several iterations]] before eventually settling on its current [[tomgirl]] form.<br />
<br />
; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?<br />
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin,<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162</ref> probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common [[autism|autistic]] symptom. <br />
<br />
; Does Chris drink or do [[drugs]]?<br />
: Chris was firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life, he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker".<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref> He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]], [[100 2281|Kahlúa]] and vodka, but seems to drink only occasionally, or when encouraged by [[troll]]s. He also smoked marijuana with the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. He was legally required to abstain from any drugs or alcohol during after being placed on Virginia's [[Chris and the law|Therapeutic Docket]] in late 2018 and early 2019.<br />
<br />
; What's this about Jimmy Hill?<br />
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of the very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]]. <br />
<br />
: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]]. Hill died in 2015.<br />
<br />
; Why does Chris call his disability check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?<br />
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[CWC-isms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in", referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $1,000 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him. <br />
<br />
; Has he ever had a [[job]] at all?<br />
: He worked for [[Wendy's]] a few months in 2001, but he was fired for unknown reasons. He briefly sold knives for the multi-level marketing company [[Cutco]], which was his last true job (if you could call it that). He also occasionally did [[commissions]] for art and videos, but he slowed down on that, even though his art and videos are the closest thing he has to a skill. <br />
<br />
; Where does Chris currently publish new content?<br />
: Chris is currently in jail and the only content he releases are letters and [[Praetor Jail Art|drawings]]. He was also writing a "[[Goddess Log]]" in jail that will most likely be released once he is. <br />
<br />
; What do [[Megan]]/[[Michael Snyder]]/Old Gal-Pals/et. cetera think of Chris now that he spooned his mother?<br />
: It is not known for certain what people from earlier in Chris's life make of his incestuous affair with his mother. However, many of these people have also moved on from Chris since then.<br />
<br />
; Where can I learn more about this guy?<br />
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, we would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:<br />
<br />
:* [https://www.kiwifarms.net/ The Kiwi Farms] - The official forum of this fine wiki.<br />
:* The CWCki's official [https://discord.com/invite/b5GU9cz discord server]. <br />
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (to be taken with a grain of salt)<br />
:* [[Documentary|Documentaries]] available on YouTube<br />
:* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu /r/ChrisChanSonichu], the largest Reddit community dedicated to Chris<br />
<br />
==Introductory Guide:==<br />
{{Newbie}}<br />
<br />
==Important Articles==<br />
{{Check this out}}<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
*[[Common Questions]] for Chris's own answers to fan questions<br />
*[[CWCki:Gossip|Gossip]] for common misconceptions regarding Christory<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
[[Category:Special]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki:Frequently_Asked_Questions&diff=301438CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions2023-01-20T03:59:05Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Trolling */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|Welcome to the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]].]]<br />
<br />
'''Welcome, new Christorian.'''<br />
<br />
New people are being initiated to the quirks and horrors of [[Chris]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[troll]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.<br />
<br />
All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about the internet's favorite manchild. <br />
<br />
''This page was last updated on 18 January 2023.''<br />
==Trolling==<br />
<br />
; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?<br />
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris and his entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism (see [[Chris in the media]]). There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to a wider attention on the Internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was first [[28 October 2011|arrested and convicted]] of a felony, he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]], and accidentally [[Destruction Of Chris's House|set fire to]] [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] in real life as well. If you don't believe us, you can look up Chris's many [[Chris and the law|court records]], both civil and criminal. <br />
<br />
; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] <s>guy</s> person?<br />
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. Most modern Chris-observers, having seen the [[Idea Guys|extreme damage]] that some trolls could wreak, hold a dim view of [[weening|contemporary trolling efforts]]. The motivations of Chris's trolls over the years has varied, but few had any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem. Some former trolls have even [[BlueSpike#Today|expressed regret]] for taking things too far in their younger years. <br />
<br />
: Even before the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] scandal, Chris has been notorious on the Internet as a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Niggos|intol]][[Women's rights|erant]], [[Obesity|unfit]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Chris and work|sullen]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes his [[United States|countrymen]]'s hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society (comics aside), despite those with more severe mental states living far more independently and successfully. <br />
<br />
: On top of that, Chris was once incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling; this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation. While Chris was [[Chris and manipulation|manipulated]] into making many of these videos, he ultimately decided to create and publish them. <br />
<br />
:However, before you want to inflict harm upon Chris and claim that Chris gives you [[Autism|autistics]] 'a bad name', please read the [[A-Logging]] and [[Weening]] articles.<br />
<br />
; Why don't you try helping him instead?<br />
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he refuses to listen. Even his [[Anna McLerran|actual friends]] could not help him. From 2018 onward, he managed to alienate nearly all of his IRL friends, instead preferring interactions with [[imaginary friends]], [[enablers]], and fans at [[conventions]]. He will only listen if you tell him what he wants to hear. <br />
<br />
; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?<br />
: '''All efforts to troll or otherwise contact Chris are ''very strongly discouraged'''''. The effects of Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]]'s death, his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s ill-health and, most recently, the [[Idea Guys]]' deliberately manipulative trolling operations against him have left Chris's grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] (and his well-being in general) tenuous at best, with various [[enablers]] making it even worse. Relating to this is how he is [[Weening#The Chris of today is nothing like his former self|now a very, ''very'' different person]] from who he was when the trolling was at its peak, and only sees such attempts to provoke him as indirect support for his current worldview; so it's not even worth bothering with if you're going into it expecting to get amusing reactions along the lines of the past. For some time, the [[Kiwi Farms]] community, with which this wiki is associated, maintained a {{plain link|https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/|wall of shame}} for [[weening|those]] who seek to disrupt Chris and entertain nobody, and even now will actively go after anyone who attempts to do so. Times have changed; so keeping all this in mind, you'll be far better off just sticking with [[CWCki|casual observation]] and helping to [[CWCki:Improvement|document and provide information]] on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come.<br />
<br />
==Psychology==<br />
<br />
; Is he currently seeing a psychiatrist or therapist?<br />
: '''Maybe.''' Chris was legally required in [[2018]], among other things, to attend psychological therapy as an alternative to [[Chris and the law#2018|conviction]] after trespassing. Since 23 April 2019, he has fulfilled this obligation and no longer has any professional help. Chris dismisses the idea of seeking professional help, preferring to [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles|administer it to himself using Lego]]. See [[Chris and mental healthcare]]. Since 1 [[August 2021]], [[Jail Saga|Chris is in custody, awaiting trial for incest]]; he is likely to be ordered to undergo more psychiatric treatment. At the end of February 2022, Chris was transferred to another presently-unknown facility, which was speculated and later confirmed to be [[Western State Hospital|a mental institution]]. It is widely believed this treatment ended, as he was returned to jail in early May 2022. The treatment was also most likely given to prepare Chris for court competency. <br />
<br />
; Is he really autistic?<br />
: '''Yes.''' Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], Chris was diagnosed with ''autistic disorder'' (DSM-IV 299.00) as a young child, and the same report backs up his claim. See [[Autism]]. However, his common qualifying phrase ''high-functioning'' means only that he is not [[slow-in-the-minds|mentally retarded]]. The phrase is not formally part of the diagnosis, and many autism advocates discourage its use. <br />
<br />
; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?<br />
: '''It depends''' on what counts as ''having'' Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed with it, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label. Among institutions that still distinguish between autism and Asperger's, of which many do not, Asperger's syndrome is distinguished from severer varieties of autism by average intelligence and adequate language ability, matching Chris. Dr Asperger's work was in German, and not known to Anglophone psychiatrists until the early [[1990s]]; Chris probably would have received this diagnosis instead if he born a few years later. Furthermore, the condition was removed from the modern ''DSM-5'' and replaced with the catch-all ''Autism Spectrum Disorder'', making the distinction completely meaningless. <br />
<br />
; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]] or intellectually disabled?<br />
: '''[[:File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg|Maybe,]] but probably not in the clinical sense.''' A more proper word for Chris is ''inept''. Even if Chris was to be considered intellectually disabled, it'll certainly be a mild or borderline intellectual disability. Despite there being a possibility, he still managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. He can read, write, do basic household chores, and operate electronic equipment. While his [[Chris and English|English]] skills aren't perfect, he has very few issues with basic sentence structure. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions to an extent. He has a consistent (albeit warped and [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]]) ethical system and recognizes when what he is doing is not working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or go about his way anyway). His foolishness is in that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering, and that after years of internet manipulation, his ability to distinguish [[Chris and reality|reality]] from fantasy has wasted away.<br />
<br />
; What is Chris's IQ?<br />
: '''That's inconclusive.''' In [[Mailbag 19]] and [[Mailbag 21]], he claimed to have taken an IQ test at a [[Chesterfield County]] institute, most likely as a teenager. He received an IQ of "150". In [[Mailbag 22]], a commenter pointed out that he may have taken the Cattell IQ test (150 on the Cattell is 130 on the standard scale), unless he was outright lying, which is most likely. An IQ of 130 is above average, but not genius material. Many autistic people also excel at pattern thinking, which is a key area of many IQ tests. Also, IQ doesn't measure [[Honor roll|what you've learned]], [[Kindness|empathy]], social skills, or other areas that count towards real-world success. Psychologists do not even agree on whether it's an objective measure of intelligence, with a common quip being that it "only measures how well you do on IQ tests." Even if Chris did have a high IQ, it hasn't done much for him in the real world.<br />
<br />
; Is Chris schizophrenic?<br />
: '''Probably not.''' While autism and schizophrenia share some symptoms, their development is nothing like each other. Autism is inborn and shows in early childhood, while schizophrenia usually appears well into adulthood. Schizophrenia's symptoms often deteriorate over time, while autism is normally constant throughout life (except for a few children who relapse into non-verbosity). <abbr title="Inability to distinguish reality from fantasy.">Psychosis</abbr> and confused language are common to both, but take different forms: schizophrenics may hear voices or otherwise hallucinate and think disjointedly (whence the name), while autists understand others' normal language literally, missing the subtext that something fictional is not meant to be taken seriously, and presuming their own thoughts automatically clear to others.<br />
<br />
:Furthermore, Chris does distinguish between fantasy and reality, simply deluding himself into believing that the fantasy world is real on another [[dimension]]. Also, Chris's visions of that dimension come from [[meditation]] (read: daydreaming), not involuntary hallucinations.<br />
<br />
==Sex==<br />
; Is Chris an <abbr title="Involuntary celibate">incel</abbr>? If not, what's the deal with the love quest?<br />
: Chris never used the word for himself, but his beliefs and actions overlapped significantly with what is now the incel community. The word ''incel'' only entered common use about [[2017]].<ref>[https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&q=incel Global search trends for ''incel'']</ref> Chris described himself long before this as a [[virgin with rage]], even bringing up the term in casual conversations with people he just met. He would speak of [[boyfriend-free girl]]s, the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and even a conspiracy that [[Virginia is for virgins|true love was illegal in his home state]]. <br />
<br />
: He viewed his search for a suitable mate as the [[Love Quest]], treating his search for a girlfriend like a video game. He wrote [[Saddest Heart in the World|poems]], [[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas|letters to Santa]], and even [[So Need a Cute Girl|"Weird Al"-style parody songs]] about his biggest problem: that other [[JERKS]] (men) take all the pretty [[sweetheart]]s. While he has lost his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm|prostitute]], he has not been in a relationship that led to sex, and his Love Quest only ended when he destroyed his libido through [[Chris and health#Hormone treatment|self-administered oestrogen]] and [[polyamorous marriage|''married'']] his [[OC]]s by early 2018. While it would be anachronistic to call him an incel, as his Love Quest was already dead by the time the word and community became current, he certainly behaved like them years before. <br />
<br />
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?<br />
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not [[TRUE and HONEST]] love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] though, Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to [[Mia Hamm|a hooker]] who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref><br />
<br />
; What is Chris's sexual orientation?<br />
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there is no consensus on this. For most of his adult life, Chris acted as though he was attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked. In [[2018]], while under the [[Idea Guys]]' manipulative influence, Chris was [[brainwashed]] into believing he was [[bisexual]], and was [[polyamorous marriage|married to several of his (mostly male) fictional characters]], retaining these beliefs long after the Idea Guys were ousted, yet has made no attempts to get into a relationship with a real-life man. [[Jacob Sockness]] attempted to groom Chris into a relationship but Chris ultimately distanced himself from Sockness. Some consider that Chris is too immature to have earnest sexual attraction towards others (see ''Is Chris asexual?'', below.) <br />
<br />
; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?<br />
: '''Yes.''' Chris had tweeted in [[2018]] <!--- Which month? One should link to the tweet page.--> that he is one. Traditionally he would state that he did not consider himself to be one,<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref> yet it was clear from an early period that he did enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, even [[Rule 34|drawing his own]] into [[Sonichu 8|his]] [[Giant Penis Comic|comics]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[ECV 00002|Chris-Chan Sonichu]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, yet he does not participate in the wider furry community. <br />
<br />
; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?<br />
: '''No''', but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these actions are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.<br />
<br />
; Is Chris transgender?<br />
: '''Yes.''' As of 2015, Chris identifies as [[transgender]]. He had explored his gender identity for years beforehand stemming from gender dysphoria issues, in 2011 identifying as a "tomgirl" (identifying as male and crossdressing as a woman); in 2014, identifying as [[August_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_comes_out...kinda|Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser]] and as a lesbian; and identifying as female and transgender in 2015 when he began referring to himself as a "trans woman" and "Christine" and legally changed his name and gender in [[2016]]. Well before [[2011]], when Chris first called himself a tomgirl, he had been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he had worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]].<br />
<br />
; Is Chris asexual?<br />
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional rite of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive was atypical even before beginning hormone replacement therapy in [[2016]], evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]]. It is worth noting that a moderately common autistic symptom is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person. Many asexuals also possess a libido and can enjoy masturbation or sex; the difference lies in a lack of real attraction to other people.<br />
<br />
==''Sonichu''==<br />
; What's the deal with [[Sonic]], anyway?<br />
: Chris has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and [[1993|many years ago,]] was one of 100 winners of a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] which, through its grand prize of a $1000 {{w|KB Toys|Kay-Bee Toys}} shopping spree, allowed him to stock up on various ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series in general also appears to have certain qualities that attract autistic fans more than other game series.<br />
<br />
; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?<br />
: For those who may be curious, they are located [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|here]].<br />
<br />
; Will he ever draw more [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]?<br />
: Chris stopped drawing regular comics in [[February 2010]] with [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]; since then, he has released issues 11 to 13 and partially completed issues 14 to 17; however, these later issues often only bear a slight resemblance to the traditional comics and are more about whatever trolling issues have been happening. Since going to jail, he has produced some one-off drawings; see [[Praetor Jail Art]].<br />
<br />
==Contact Chris==<br />
; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?<br />
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris does not read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref> Anyway, Chris is currently in jail with no access to the [[Internet]].<br />
<br />
; What is his dox?<br />
: Chris's dox can be found [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]]. However, he is currently in jail so you can't call him or visit.<br />
<br />
==The CWCki itself==<br />
; Does the CWCki exaggerate or spin anything?<br />
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter and the intentional omission of information from trolls who were [[Manipulation|manipulating]] Chris. Many were CWCki editors themselves. This is especially true for the [[Classic Chris]] era. <br />
<br />
: For various good reasons, the CWCki largely covers the Classic sagas from Chris's perspective: information presented here was what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It is probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much as it is best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are often contrived, especially when covering events prior to Bob's death.<br />
<br />
: For example: <br />
<br />
:* [[Clyde Cash]] was the fictitious persona of a single anonymous troll, but the CWCki treats him as if he ''were'' a real person because he was to Chris. We also treat each of his personas as separate people because they were to Chris. <br />
<br />
:* We keep a single article on [[Blanca]] and not the multiple male trolls who played her. <br />
<br />
:* [[Emily]] and [[Kim]] were played by the same woman, but the CWCki treats them as separate people because they were to Chris. <br />
<br />
:* Celebrity trolls are obviously trolls impersonating celebrities – did you really think [[Billy Mays]] was involved in trolling?<br />
<br />
: For transparency's sake, the CWCki discloses such discrepancies from reality using Protip boxes, troll disclosures, and other notices. <br />
<br />
: Coverage of Modern Christory takes a more matter-of-fact approach, thanks to the ease of [[dox]]ing Internet trolls. Modern CWCki editors are also gradually transitioning classic articles away from the dramatized writing of yesterday, so those who prefer clarity are in luck. <br />
<br />
; What's the deal with ''Chris and''? What is a saga?<br />
: The CWCki has '''a few series that tie it all together'''. You can think of them as the skeleton, bloodstream, and nervous system of the site.<br />
:* The [[Chris and]] series. This series is purely topical – it discusses subjects as they relate to Chris, regardless of the time period. These are the things that make Chris Chris. Such topics range from Chris's relationship with [[Chris and art|art]] and [[Video games|gaming]], to his [[health|physical]] and [[Coping|mental health]]. <br />
:* The [[Saga]] page. It describes the major events in Chris's life from the womb to the modern world, but still takes a topical approach, looking at arcs and happenings in Chris's existence.<br />
:* The [[CWChronology]]: purely chronological as its name suggests. Here, you can learn Chris's entire story from start to now, even including events from before his conception. <br />
; What happened to the tagline ''Where no shit is too minor''?<br />
: The tagline was '''retired''' on 20 December 2019, '''because there was a significant increase in people trying to influence Chris'''. Many of them fall into one of the ''[[Unholy Quintet]]'':<br />
:* [[White Knights]] – people who feel sorry for Chris, and try to help Chris, often without realising that getting Chris to halt his [[Chris and his Ego|self-destructive lifestyle]] is going to take a lot more than [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job|a message]] on social media, or a [[Patreon]] donation.<br />
:* [[A-Logging|A-logs]] – people who express disproportionate hatred for Chris, often wishing [[Destruction Of Chris's House|misery]] or physical harm on him.<br />
:* [[Enablers]] – people who encourage Chris’s negative habits. Some White Knights find themselves having to do this to get in touch with Chris. Some weens have also found themselves doing this to purposefully screw him up.<br />
:* [[Weens]] – people who try and fail to annoy Chris.<br />
<br />
; Why does the CWCki continue to refer to Chris by his old name and pronouns?<br />
:*The simplest reason for this is '''consistency'''. The CWCki has thousands of articles, and it would be an impossible, arduous task to change every "he" to "she" throughout Chris's entire existence, plus it's effectively [[Retcon|historical revisionism]]. <br />
:*Some articles require the context of Chris's maleness. References to Chris's orientation and past hatred of [[gay]] men won't be as obvious if we didn't address Chris by his assigned gender. Same thing with atypical/feminine behavior (such as his high voice and use of "Gal-Pals"), and behavior considered creepy for guys but not so much for women (such as getting [[Megan|touchy-feely]]).<br />
:*Using "he" pre-transition and "she" post-transition may seem like a fair compromise, but the exact beginning of Chris's transition is hard to define. It can be confusing on articles that cover Chris both before and after his transition, such as the [[Chris and]] series. Dissenting users have also suggested using "(s)he" or "they", but Chris doesn't use they/them pronouns either, and "(s)he" looks clunky.<br />
:*Community consensus. YouTube and Twitter commentators overwhelmingly call Chris male, as do some [[Sachumo|documentarians]]. While Chris did receive a legal name/gender change, there's considerable debate in the community as to whether he is a genuine trans woman. CWC communities, such as [[Kiwi Farms]], have an unfortunate tendency to "misgender" trans people in general. [[Null]] said he refers to Chris as "he" because he "carries male genetics" and insisted that he was a straight male most of his life. Most Christorians use "he" for Chris, and the CWCki reflects this trend. <br />
:* Relating to the above, his previous first names ('''Chris'''topher, '''Chris'''tian) and his current one ('''Chris'''tine) can all easily be shortened to just "Chris", "Chris-Chan" or "CWC", which is what he's mostly referred to as anyway regardless of pronouns.<br />
<br />
==Miscellaneous==<br />
<br />
; What does he smell like?<br />
: As of 19 October 2019, {{plain link|https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5483529|cannabis}}. Historical answers include "rotten watermelons" (according to [[Emily]]), a variant of the [[Collosal Chan|homeless person]] stench (according to [[Robert Simmons V]]) or, as some field agents have reported, 'body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]'. The point is, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]]. While in jail, it seems his hygiene improved, with [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|daily showers]] the norm. <br />
<br />
; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?<br />
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.<br />
<br />
; What's the deal with the striped shirts?<br />
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref> Following Chris's introduction to the world of Internet trolling, [[Chris and fashion|his wardrobe went through several iterations]] before eventually settling on its current [[tomgirl]] form.<br />
<br />
; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?<br />
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin,<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162</ref> probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common [[autism|autistic]] symptom. <br />
<br />
; Does Chris drink or do [[drugs]]?<br />
: Chris was firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life, he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker".<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref> He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]], [[100 2281|Kahlúa]] and vodka, but seems to drink only occasionally, or when encouraged by [[troll]]s. He also smoked marijuana with the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. He was legally required to abstain from any drugs or alcohol during after being placed on Virginia's [[Chris and the law|Therapeutic Docket]] in late 2018 and early 2019.<br />
<br />
; What's this about Jimmy Hill?<br />
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of the very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]]. <br />
<br />
: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]]. Hill died in 2015.<br />
<br />
; Why does Chris call his disability check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?<br />
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[CWC-isms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in", referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $1,000 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him. <br />
<br />
; Has he ever had a [[job]] at all?<br />
: He worked for [[Wendy's]] a few months in 2001, but he was fired for unknown reasons. He briefly sold knives for the multi-level marketing company [[Cutco]], which was his last true job (if you could call it that). He also occasionally did [[commissions]] for art and videos, but he slowed down on that, even though his art and videos are the closest thing he has to a skill. <br />
<br />
; Where does Chris currently publish new content?<br />
: Chris is currently in jail and the only content he releases are letters and [[Praetor Jail Art|drawings]]. He was also writing a "[[Goddess Log]]" in jail that will most likely be released once he is. <br />
<br />
; What do [[Megan]]/[[Michael Snyder]]/Old Gal-Pals/et. cetera think of Chris now that he spooned his mother?<br />
: It is not known for certain what people from earlier in Chris's life make of his incestuous affair with his mother. However, many of these people have also moved on from Chris since then.<br />
<br />
; Where can I learn more about this guy?<br />
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, we would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:<br />
<br />
:* [https://www.kiwifarms.net/ The Kiwi Farms] - The official forum of this fine wiki.<br />
:* The CWCki's official [https://discord.com/invite/b5GU9cz discord server]. <br />
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (to be taken with a grain of salt)<br />
:* [[Documentary|Documentaries]] available on YouTube<br />
:* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu /r/ChrisChanSonichu], the largest Reddit community dedicated to Chris<br />
<br />
==Introductory Guide:==<br />
{{Newbie}}<br />
<br />
==Important Articles==<br />
{{Check this out}}<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
*[[Common Questions]] for Chris's own answers to fan questions<br />
*[[CWCki:Gossip|Gossip]] for common misconceptions regarding Christory<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
[[Category:Special]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Examples_of_Chris%27s_Ego&diff=300532Examples of Chris's Ego2022-12-19T00:08:50Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Instances of Chris's ego in the comics */ Elaborated a little more on why this is such an ego-stroke.</p>
<hr />
<div><br />
{{Dated|examples of Chris's ego in Sonichu #13, 14, and Sonichu Special #5, 6, and 7.}}<br />
This is an exhaustive list of documented '''examples of Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]''' in the real world and in the ''Sonichu'' comic. It warrants its own page.<br />
<br />
==In the real world==<br />
<br />
===School===<br />
*[[Manchester High School]] — When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of <s>[[Autism|autistic]]</s> artistic awards for his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his [[mother]] and gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen]].<br />
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] — After being expelled for his [[Chris and anger|appalling behavior]] by the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Student's Dean]], Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, [[George W. Bush]]. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local community college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.<br />
<br />
===Public places===<br />
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] — Chris, a regular patron, acted as if he owned the store. He was rude to the other customers and staff, abused the access to a flat-screen TV, and was an all-around pain for the manager (and later owner), [[Michael Snyder]]. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had [[The Eye of Judgment|Eye of Judgment]] cards. Chris also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.<br />
*[[Chris and the law|Prison]] — During his time in jail following the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris stated he refused to eat the prison food, since he had [[autism|never done it]] and was not going to start any time soon, and eating the food was beneath him. Later on, after being sent to jail following the [[Affair with Mother|incestuous affair]], Chris writes a [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|letter]] saying that his "... life events at present and so far can directly be compared and matched with that which have been chronicled of none other than Jesus Christ of Nazareth himself, in any Holy Bible..."<br />
*[[GameStop]] — Following the incident on [[26 December 2014]] in which he maced a [[JERKS|male]] [[Manajerks|employee]] after fleeing a Gamestop which he had been banned from previously due to the [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalisation]] of one of their Sonic Boom displays, he had went on to say that he in fact was the victim of the whole situation in a lengthy Facebook post.<br />
<br />
===With people===<br />
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] — One of Chris's first crushes. Chris made the small booklet ''[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]'' in an attempt to win her over on her 21st birthday. The booklet was merely a major ego trip, talking more about him and less about her, with the two of them replaced with Sonichu and Rosechu. He later cast her in his Sonichu comic and having her break up with [[Wes Iseli]] before disposing her when she was married away to [[William Spicer]].<br />
*[[Megan Schroeder]] — For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things, and not the fact that she realised that Chris saw her as [[Women's rights|nothing more than a]] [[sex toy]]. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst [[ED]] was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was, somehow believing that [[Trolls]] posting pictures of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] on the Internet was worse than a so-called "friend" sexually harassing and drawing porn of you. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.<br />
*[[Jerkop|Jerkops]] — Thanks to Chris's various run-ins with the law, Chris has a very skewed view of law enforcement. After being tossed out of [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], he deemed that security guards were evil and just trying to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and prevent him from completing his [[Love Quest]]. However, following his arrest on [[28 October 2011]], Chris has now assumed that ''all'' law enforcement is evil and has gone out of his way to make sure they never take him into any sort of custody again.<br />
*[[Vanessa Hudgens]]: [[Joshua Martinez]] used the identity of the ''High School Musical'' star to troll Chris by pretending "Vanessa" wanted to ride his [[duck]]. The fact that Chris actually believed a ''bona fide'' celebrity wanted to give him her [[china]] speaks volumes about his hubris.<br />
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|The Sonichu promotional video]] — In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents a drawing made by himself as a better version.<br />
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] — Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary franchises like ''Super Mario Bros'', ''Donkey Kong'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Star Fox'', would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even ''more'' honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.<br />
*[[Jackie]] — In the final e-mail exchanges<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]], [[Jackie E-mails 22]] and [[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref> between the two, Jackie, quite accurately, pointed out many of Chris's flaws, also taking the time to rationally explain what he was doing wrong and what he could do to fix things. However, Chris took it the wrong way, claiming that she was being mean to him and [[Kick the Autistic|hating]] him by pointing out his flaws, still believing himself to be flawless and special.<br />
<br />
===Online===<br />
*[[LittleBigPlanet]] — When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ''ever.''<br />
*[[For G4's Web Soup|Web Soup]] — When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.<br />
* [[Sonic Boom Protests| Downsized SEGA]] — On Feb 2, 2015, Chris took credit for SEGA's downsizing, stating that him and his 'pale-arm crusaders', with their boycotting, had damaged SEGA enough to force them to close office. This is despite the fact that "normal market forces" had been the supposed cause, literally ''nobody'' is joining Chris on his fight against blue arms, and SEGA is the publisher of all ''Sonic'' games. This gives some nicely- needed recent perspective on the size of his ego.<br />
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Forces]] — In November 2017, after playing through the newest Sonic game, Chris unlocked customizable options for the avatar section. One of these included eyes with Heterochromia. Chris immediately assumed the unlockable was inspired by him since "[his] right eye Is green, while [his] left is a shade of blue, like purple: the combo of Blue and red."<br />
<br />
===Contests===<br />
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] — In an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Sonichu]], but very, ''very'' little about Birdman himself. He even got the character's name wrong initially and left it in. <br />
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] — In his reviews of the top 10 videos, Chris highly praised his entry and claimed it was the best. After losing the contest to [[Adam Stackhouse]], Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process, including loading the contest with fake votes for him and bribing his [[Cole Smithey|stepbrother]] to vote for him. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the PlayStation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.<br />
<br />
===Other===<br />
* [[100 2178|Greene County School Board]] — In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.<br />
*[[Unban contracts]] — Chris demands the likes of GameStop and Best Buy to unban him for his [[Sonic Boom Protests|incidents]] over there, even though they had every right to ban him for his conduct. Not only that but he also demands that they do not call the [[Jerkops|police]] against him (which is illegal since contracts cannot be used to protect from [[Chris and the Law|criminal prosecution]], thus making it null and void), and he believes that not signing would prove that that they are "most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul of any person", and are a bunch of "unwelcoming immature rat -a**" b*****". He even goes as far as to say that his ban from those places is "outdated" (similar to how he tried to convince [[Michael Snyder]] that he needs to "[[Chris and remorse|forgive]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|and]] [[Megan|forget]]"), and that the ban is a human rights violation because he's a lesbian transwoman.<br />
*[[Affirmations List]] - A three-page-long list Chris wrote in [[March 2021]] of his positive traits, it consists of thoroughly delusional assessments for stroking his own ego.<br />
<br />
==In the comic==<br />
<br />
{{quote|I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB|Chris}}<br />
<br />
While [[Issue 0]] and [[Issue 1]] do focus on Sonichu, [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan]] takes over as the main character throughout [[Issue 2]], [[Sonichu 5|Issue 5]], [[Sonichu 6|Issue 6]] and [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as a supporting character, and in his infrequent appearances he invariably sings Chris's praises. [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]] and [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but at this stage he's just a Mary Sue for Chris. The main story arc of [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]] is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome, although this doesn't happen till said ''Issue 2'', and throughout the comic series sporadically gives his self-insert character superpowers that are never explained. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extremely self-indulgent fantasies that are described below.<br />
<br />
Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon strive to protect is known as [[CWCVille]]. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as [[CWC Cola]]. The radio station is called "[[KCWC]]"; the hotel is called the "Double CWC"; even his [[Wikipedia:Hyrule|Hyrule]] ripoff is called "[[RuleCWC]]". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created refer to him as "father". His self-insert is mayor, but never ever performs any mayoral duties whatsoever and his actual role is more like a god-king than any kind of elected official — as Chris says, there [[Honor Roll|"is"]] no elections.<br />
<br />
===Instances of Chris's ego in the comics===<br />
*'''[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]:''' This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and, knowing that a 25-year old, [[Obesity|morbidly obese]] [[autistic]] man-child [[Creepy stare|creepily looking]] at patrons can't possibly end well, security threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding [[Sweetheart|true love]]. He turns into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defeats them with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.<br />
*'''[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]:''' This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on [[Megan Schroeder]], the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named [[William Spicer]], Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'' character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. In reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.<br />
*'''[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]:''' Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] (he blames it on [[ED]], even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and [[Joshua Martinez]] hooking him up with [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<br />
[[File:Christine Night Weston Star Chandler.jpg|thumb|200px|Now with twice the CWC.]]<br />
*'''[[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]:''' The comic features a new self-insert for Chris named [[Night Star]], which is a blatant Mary Sue empowered with story-breaking psychic abilities. Night Star meets with Chris's comic incarnation, who is inexplicably colored to resemble [[Christine Doll|yet another depiction of Chris]], and helps him transform into a body that looks like herself. The characters' full names are "Christine Night Weston Star Chandler", which Chris wrote without a hint of irony. Chris also depicts his real self in the comic as an alicorn, an extremely rare species of pony (that combines the powers of a pegasus and a unicorn) from ''My Little Pony'' reserved solely for elite characters.<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chris and his Ego]]<br />
*[[Christian Love Day]]<br />
*[[Sub-Episodes]]<br />
{{articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Lists}}<br />
[[Category:Lists]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=300442Weening2022-12-17T04:48:33Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* What weening is NOT */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200226105210/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and [[CWCville|where it takes place]] as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community through donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, making and sending him badly-made parody comics, or trying to re-hash the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid Chris Saga]] is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame,<ref group=note>This idea worked once in the right circumstances, there's no need to repeat it now, where Chris believes he's a goddess and a reincarnate of Jesus.</ref> or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=300441Weening2022-12-17T04:45:49Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Examples of weening */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200226105210/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and [[CWCville|where it takes place]] as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community by donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, making and sending him badly-made parody comics, or trying to re-hash the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid Chris Saga]] is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
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It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
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It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
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The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
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Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
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For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
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===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
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This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
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Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
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As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
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===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame,<ref group=note>This idea worked once in the right circumstances, there's no need to repeat it now, where Chris believes he's a goddess and a reincarnate of Jesus.</ref> or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
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===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
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It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
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===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
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Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
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By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
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Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
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===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
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{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
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All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
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To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
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===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
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As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
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All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
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That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White-Knighting&diff=300252White-Knighting2022-12-12T02:30:11Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Protip|As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better. Certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place; as this wiki evidences copiously.}}<br />
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{{quote|[Chris] blocked me too. We defend her, buy from her and encourage her. A truly repulsive person.|Former white knight [[David90637947]].<ref>https://twitter.com/David90637947/status/1154345242834812929</ref>}}<br />
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{{quote|White knights [during the [[Miscreants]] era] were subverted. Their messages blocked, deleted before Chris could see them. If they got through, trolls would leak their conversations with Chris and accuse the helper of being the culprit.|[[Marvin]], one of Chris's former trolls.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Subverted White Knights]]</ref>}}<br />
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[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's impression.]]<br />
<br />
'''White-Knighting''' is a term used to describe the act of going on [[the Internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of [[CWC is Sad|pity or compassion]], or for [[Carpetbaggers|ulterior motives]]. People who do this are often referred to as '''White-Knights'''. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the sheer volume of abuse he's taken ever since he found his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page in [[2007]].<br />
<br />
Thanks to events following from the Idea Guys, most white knights now fall into a sub-group referred to as '''Anti-Trolls''', those who try to ward other trolls and Quintet members away from Chris to have him for themselves, rather than for noble purposes. These are not to be confused with the other sub-group of White Knights, counter-trolls, who primarily fight against trolls to protect Chris, rather to troll him themselves. <br />
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'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme, which is effectively gatekeeping. <br />
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In the broader internet trolling community, a wide range of people, from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to Chris's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]], [[Enablers|Enabling]] and [[A-Logging]], acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris's trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], trying to get him to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know it's nigh impossible to get him to improve using the "soft touch". So when the label "white knight" gets thrown around, take it with a grain of salt. <br />
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A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being a lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance, or even beyond help. Opinion on the matter is somewhat divided on whether Chris is capable of improvement, although most agree that if Chris is going to improve, it will not be in any large part due to the efforts of third parties who only interact with him over the Internet.<br />
<br />
Some believe that Chris is improving on his own, albeit slowly and in small increments, as seen in his gradual abandonment of his homophobia, which began with him declaring tolerance for lesbians, which he eventually extended to gay men. Others believe that Chris has not tangibly improved, that he has merely moved sideways, rather than forward. Many quibble over what can be defined as Chris "improving". Some have proposed that Chris improving need not necessarily mean becoming a functioning adult, which at this stage would be an uphill battle for Chris anyway. Rather, they claim that Chris is improving in that he is happier than he once was. He has found [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a new hangout]] where he stands to improve his social skills and make friends. Moreover, he has finally found a way to cash in on his e-fame, delighted his fanbase by resuming the comics ''and'' made his dreams of a Sonichu media empire a reality, albeit probably on a much smaller scale than he once envisaged.<br />
<br />
==Motives==<br />
<br />
===Pity===<br />
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.<br />
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===Empathy===<br />
The internet is full of [[autistic]] people, manchildren, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his [[obesity]], his all-consuming need for female companionship, or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.<br />
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===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===<br />
{{see also|Chris and manipulation}}<br />
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of {{w|Prosopagnosia}}. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. [[Emily]] played numerous real-life characters, and yet Chris fell for every one of them. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of {{w|Megan Fox}} were of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] – [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being overweight.<br />
<br />
Chris' autism also means that he thinks, and sees the world, in simplistic, binary terms; he cannot easily "read between the lines" or detect sarcasm, or practically any kind of nuance or subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as actually being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances at [[the GAMe PLACe]] exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref> It is also thought that his decision to go [[tomgirl]] was at least partially due to him taking advice to "get in touch with his feminine side" literally.<br />
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===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===<br />
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of A-Logs and weens, who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who ''really'' has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?<br />
<br />
===Attention Whores===<br />
Some of these white-knights, the aforementioned anti-trolls, desperately seek attention from the community that surrounds Chris, sometimes faking their protecting of Chris. A lot like [[enablers]], these people cannot contribute anything to society and therefore will never get a Wikipedia page of their own, so the CWCki or Geno's Documentary series is the next best alternative. White Knights with attention on their mind often pretend that they are protecting Chris for noble purposes, when in actuality are trying to gain confirmation from the community through morally questionable techniques.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against white knighting==<br />
<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
<br />
===Chris is beyond your ability to help at this point===<br />
The trolls that allegedly wanted to teach Chris some unpleasant truths about life, along with previous White Knights who wanted to shield Chris from criticism while genuinely wanting to prepare him for the real world, have consistently come to the conclusion that Chris is simply incorrigible – nothing helpful that anyone says or does has actually stuck with Chris in a long-term capacity, while he is more than willing to pick up more harmful habits. Even [[Null]], the closest person who Chris had to a friend since the trolling began, and was the only advisor that Chris would actually listen to, came to the conclusion that Chris not only refuses to learn anything if it even slightly inconveniences him, but that he is actively malicious and will ignore you or betray your trust if it benefits him. Even medical professionals are believed to have a hard time helping Chris, particularly when considering that Chris was just as delusional after [[Chris and mental healthcare|three months of time]] in a [[Western State Hospital|psychiatric hospital]] as he was going in. While Chris is a victim of circumstance, he can only get help if he actually seeks it, and that feels like extremely wishful thinking at this point.<br />
<br />
===White-Knighting Chris now takes on a completely different connotation===<br />
An unfortunate shift in the character of Chris's Internet adversaries has developed in the [[Idea Guys]]' wake. Having caused Chris to believe himself [[Polyamorous marriage|married]] and a [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|a goddess]], traditional methods of reaching to Chris, as pretending to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]], have become obsolete. And in recent times, there have been an overwhelming number of people who are confident that playing make-believe with Chris will either help him in the long run, or will turn them into trolling legends. Because of this newfound confidence built by playing make-believe with Chris, it has been abused several times, and likewise became the means of weeding them out, regardless of their intentions. White-Knighting as a whole has taken a much more negative connotation in the Chris Chan community than it ever has before.<br />
<br />
===Protecting Chris from specific trolls does not automatically make you a "hero" in the Chris Chan saga===<br />
<br />
It goes without saying, but just because you divert trolls away from Chris, doesn't exclude you from being a subject of critique, as you have involved yourself in the drama in the first place. No matter the intention, interacting with Chris has always been discouraged by the community surrounding him. Chris's story doesn't really have heroes in it, anyways – it can basically be described as a sad tale of villains, victims, victims who become villains, villains who become victims, and those who watch the whole sorry story play out.<br />
<br />
===The stresses of white-knighting===<br />
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to keep up-to-date on his activities. Most have to lie and pretend to be a goddess of another dimension, or a random [[OC]], to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber. A key example of this is the [[enabler]] [[MKRNightVee|MKR]], who frequently came into conflicts with [[Jacob Sockness]] and his other enabling ilk while trying to warn Chris of the danger of letting Sockness get close – though for narcissistic reasons, as to some extent MKR simply wanted to keep Chris to herself. Regardless of whether they're white knighting for their own gain, or out of some misguided effort to help Chris, White knights will find themselves experiencing unprecedented levels of [[stress]]; this is one of the reasons why many simply give up.<br />
<br />
===Chris will not even read your message===<br />
Trolls had control over his e-mails. Messages sent to him by white knights were often deleted before he could read them. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].<br />
<br />
===Chris won't ever learn his lesson, no matter what you tell him===<br />
Due in no small part to the fact that Chris had been mollycoddled by [[Borb|his parents]] from the very beginning and had his hand held through school by [[Manchester High Leaks|teachers who were sympathetic to a fault]], he is flat out resistant to any harsh truths pointing out his countless shortcomings and the objective fact that the general public by and large isn't going to absolve him of responsibility for his antics.<br />
<br />
He ''will not'' take a moment to reflect on his actions (let alone use memories of these experiences to avoid repeating the same mistakes ever again) because he is thoroughly convinced that [[Kick the Autistic|he is a righteous victim of an unfair society that horribly mistreats autistics]], thus anyone who goes against his ideals (i.e. denies him what he feels entitled to have) is an irredeemable villain in his eyes. As such, he won't accept any words that don't match what he believes in and/or wants to hear, so even simply trying to be nice and reasoning with Chris won't convince him you're not a dang dirty troll.<br />
<br />
Even ignoring the numerous altercations Chris got into during his [[Love Quest]] (resulting in portraying authorities doing their jobs as [[Jerkop|one-dimensional]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|villains]] for him and his league of OCs to triumph over) and the brutally honest tongue-lashing he received during the [[Father Call]], a particularly notable example of a white knight unable to make Chris wake up and smell the coffee was none other than [[Vivian Gee]]. [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|After]] '''[[Vivitheg's AIM chat|three hours]]''' [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|of trying to do just that]], she eventually gave up, understandably equating the experience with "fighting a wall".<br />
<br />
In short, as long as your words are not 100% in line with his childlike and egocentric point of view, it's utterly futile to try and help Chris.<br />
<br />
===Being overly nice to Chris might have molded him badly and still does===<br />
<br />
Tempting as it is to feel sympathetic for Chris ([[Affair With Mother|at least until mid-2021]]), doing so would only benefit him for all the wrong reasons. Chris's youth wasn't one without acts of kindness from others, albeit mainly people who were [[Manchester High|well-meaning yet misguided]] at best or [[Barbara Chandler|flat-out spoiled him at worst]]. As a result of others generally opting to shield Chris from even the slightest negativity ([[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|with a few attempts at genuine advice going in one ear and out the other]]), he has grown accustomed to receiving, or expecting to receive, nothing but complete satisfaction with no strings attached from anyone who gives him the time of day.<br />
<br />
Not only has it led to Chris's tendency to become hostile to anyone trying to show him the error of his ways (and of course doesn't give him everything he wants), but it has also allowed opportunities for [[enablers]] to entertain his bizarre delusions, only making him worse than he was before his online infamy. To make matters worse, it has even effectively created a paradox where benefitting Chris prevents him from getting what would ''actually'' benefit him (i.e. [[Chris and mental healthcare|therapeutic aid he needs but refuses]]), so even the best of intentions will ultimately yield no positive results whatsoever.<br />
<br />
==Examples==<br />
{{main|White knight emails}}<br />
<br />
===White Knights on YouTube===<br />
<br />
Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.<br />
<br />
On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.<br />
<br />
===White Knights on Facebook===<br />
<br />
In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say). Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.<br />
<br />
However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?<br />
<br />
{{quote|They do not. <br />
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|– Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}<br />
<br />
===TV Tropes===<br />
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on – in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from [[Chris and mental healthcare|licensed professionals]], [[October 28 2011|before]] [[26 December 2014|the stuff]] [[Chris and sex#Incest|you do]] [[Jail Saga|gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed]]. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans – [[True and Loyal Fanbase|the people you think are your fans]] are really either [[trolls]] or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us – for once.|– Concerned tropers.}}<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]<br />
<br />
In another move that was appeared to be White Knight-ish to onlookers, the page was also locked in order to prevent [[Weening|Weens]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]] from derailing a page about [[Sonichu (comic)|Chris's stupid webcomic]] to instead flood it with a trope list covering his entire life, with entries on Chris and the effort to troll him taking up about two-thirds of the page as a result of overzealous editors piling on an easy target instead of talking about the comic itself. However, the mods took action not out of a desire to protect Chris, but because troping a creator in such a fashion was strictly prohibited, and [[CWCki|going into Chris's life in such detail]] constituted an [[Honest Content|invasion of privacy]] that was in direct violation of the site's rules. The subsequent cleanup led to several ''Sonichu''-related pages being locked, with the main page covering the work getting a milquetoast and somewhat insincere message explaining that the article was being locked over excessive negativity, rather than the page flagrantly being warped by its editors to serve a different purpose than what the site was actually made for. Some ''Sonichu'' pages were eventually unlocked and the message was eventually removed, with the goal of actually providing examples of tropes in ''Sonichu'' being realized. Following the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] reveal, the pages were locked once more, and all discussion of Chris's personal life was prohibited on the threat of suspension.<ref>https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13327578050A72722200&page=269#comment-6710</ref><br />
<br />
A recreation of what that page looked like before being overhauled by the mods of TV Tropes can be seen [[User:Canine/TV_Tropes|here]].<br />
<br />
==Chris as a White Knight==<br />
In 2017, Chris himself began (attempting) to white knight the crew of [[Planet Dolan]], particularly [[DoopieDoOver]], after he misinterpreted one of Doopie's tweets about being tired of harassment from Chris himself as referring to [[trolls]] harassing her. To this end, he started the #[[HarassCWCdirectly]] campaign in which he exhorted the supposed trolls to take aim at him and leave Doopie and friends alone. This may well be a misguided effort to [[Love Quest|win Doopie's affections]] after she emphasized that she considers him nothing more than a customer, not even a [[Gal pal|friend]].<br />
<br />
He also bizarrely white knighted ''himself'' in [[May 2020]] while [[Spirit possession|LARPing]] as [[Pokémon#Mewtwo|Mewtwo]], [[Polyamorous marriage|his second husband]].<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Anti-Protoman sperging]]</ref> Note that he did so as a brief interruption of his marathon session of LARPing as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[A-Logging]]<br />
* [[Enablers]]<br />
* [[Weening]]<br />
* [[White knight E-mails]]<br />
* [[Jacob Sockness]] – An infamous white knight of Chris' that claims he wants to get in his pants.<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/index.php/White_Knighting White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].<br />
<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:People]]<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Jail_Saga&diff=300221Jail Saga2022-12-07T23:43:22Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div><!--Editor's Note:For the sake of consistency, always refer to Chris's arrest as him being in "jail" instead of "prison"--><br />
:''This article primarily covers what is known regarding the Jail Saga stemming from Chris's [[Affair with Mother|affair with his mother]]. For answers to frequently asked questions regarding Chris's sentence in jail, see [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jail-state-hospital-court-faq.113466/ a Kiwi Farms thread here].''<br />
{{Unreliable|type=misinfo}}<br />
{{Ongoing}}<br />
<br />
[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's mugshot for his [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge, Henrico County Sheriff's Office.<ref name=sun/> Note how Chris almost looks ''content'' after being arrested for incest, compared to [[:File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|his despondent mugshot]] [[26 December 2014|taken the same day that he maced a dude]].]]<br />
<br />
Following allegations in late [[July 2021|July]] and the eventual confirmation that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] had committed [[Affair with Mother|incest with]] [[Barb]], hundreds of people contacted the Greene County police, and authorities conducted a welfare check on the Chandler home, issuing an Emergency Protective Order on [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] the following day (essentially a temporary week-long restraining order). Chris was made temporarily homeless and stayed at the Richmond Regency Inn in the meantime. Chris was '''arrested on 1 [[August 2021]]''', outside of the Inn. The arrest was captured live on stream by [[Orbiter Wave#Ethan Ralph|several onlookers]]. Surprisingly, despite Chris's past history with [[Chris and the law|the law]], he made no attempt to resist arrest and was cooperative with the police.<br />
<br />
Chris is in jail, not prison. Chris will only go to prison if he is convicted of a felony, which was at one point on the table since his case was being presented to a {{w|Grand juries in the United States#Virginia|grand jury}}. Since 2 August 2021, Chris has been an inmate at Central Virginia Regional Jail and is awaiting legal proceedings for the charge of incest. The Greene County Sheriff's office had claimed pending charges yet to be identified were also being considered<ref name="press release"/> but no further charges have emerged as of August 2022. Chris was arraigned on 5 August 2021 and is being held without bond. Hearings in [[November 2021]], [[February 2022]], and [[July 2022]] resulted in continuances.<br />
<br />
Since his arrest, Chris's only contact with the outside world has been through [[Jail Communications|written correspondence and phone calls]], which began in August 2021 and continued through February 2022. On 28 February 2022, Chris was transferred from the Central Virginia Regional Jail<ref>[[:File:Transfer.jpg]]</ref> to [[Western State Hospital]], a mental institution, as he was deemed incompetent to stand trial. On 3 [[May 2022]], Chris was transferred back to Central Virginia Regional Jail,<ref>[[:File:May3jailconfirmed.PNG]]</ref> having been restored as competent to stand trial.<br />
<br />
In July 2022, the last hearing within the J&DR court's jurisdiction occurred and the case was elevated to the circuit court, where it was sent to a Grand Jury for a potential felony charge. <br />
<br />
In August 2022, the Grand Jury hearing was postponed with a continuance. A motion by [[David Heilberg|Chris's lawyer]] for an autism disorder deferred disposition was filed, to be considered by the court. Shortly after, Chris's case was sealed, though bits of information still emerged. By 11 August, the case file was updated to note that "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" were added and that a review of Chris's case is scheduled for [[August 2023]].<br />
<br />
==Background==<br />
{{See also|Affair with Mother}}<br />
<br />
[[File:EscapeIntoMadness.jpg|thumb|left|300px|''Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage: Minds innocent and quiet take That for an hermitage. If I have freedom in my love, And in my soul am free, Angels alone, that soar above, Enjoy such liberty.'']]<br />
[[File:JailArt7.jpg|300px|thumb|right|''"Happiness can still be a Hug away; even if you're hugging your self."'' A poignant piece of [[jail art]] drawn by Chris in [[May 2022]].]]<br />
<br />
It is a [[Chris and the law|criminal offense]] in Virginia to engage in incest - sexual activities between a parent and a child are a class 5 felony, punishable on indictment by up to 10 years incarceration.<ref name=kvia>[https://kvia.com/news/us-world/2021/08/10/transgender-autistic-internet-personality-chris-chan-held-without-bond-in-mens-jail-on-incest-charge-involving-senile-mom/ Transgender, autistic internet personality Chris Chan held without bond in men's jail on incest charge involving senile mom]</ref> Despite rumors, Chris hasn't been charged for rape, and whether or not Chris's affairs were entirely consensual remains unknown. <br />
<br />
In the early morning of 28 July 2021, Chris discussed having sex with his mother in a call and text messages with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]. On the night of 29 July, the [[Suitress]] leaked the files. The next morning, as reports poured in, Greene County Police visited [[14 Branchland Court]] for a [[Welfare check|wellness check]].<ref name=sun/> They issued Chris an Emergency Protective Order, forbidding contact between him and Barbara, and by extension, preventing him from remaining at her residence until 5 August. Meanwhile, Barbara was relocated to a hospital for a senior care inspection.<ref name=removed>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#Summing Up Post-Incest Leak]]</ref><br />
<br />
As a result of the protection order levied against Chris, he was without a home for the time being. Due to [[Financhu Crisis|ongoing financial problems]], Chris could not afford a hotel. [[Null]] advised him to sleep in [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|his van]] for one night, noting that Chris would have have the proceeds of Chris's GoFundMe (originally intended for Chris's trip to [[Everfree Northwest]]) transferred to his bank account the following day. Initial plans to stay with [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]] were disrupted after their invitation was rescinded - likely while he was already on the way to their home.<ref name=letter>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>{{refn|<br />
Chris told Null that after spending the night in his car, he would go to a mall as soon as it opened in the morning and loiter there.<ref name=NullTexts/> The two malls he mentioned, [[Leonard Bearstein|Regency Mall]] and Chesterfield Towne Center, are in [[Richmond]].<ref>{{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)}} and {{w|Chesterfield Towne Center}} on Wikipedia</ref> This suggests that [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]], who live in Richmond's southwest suburbs,<ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800|Chris leaks the Ashbys' address to Miyamoto-san]]</ref> did not rescind their invitation until he had actually gotten near their home.}}<br />
<br />
On 30th of July, Everfree Northwest posted that "appropriate action to protect the vulnerable" will be taken; while not naming Chris, it is suspected that that this tweet refers to the revocation of Chris's invitation to the convention,<ref>[[:File:EverfreeNorthwestBansChris.jpg|Everfree Northwest tweet]]</ref> which Null subsequently confirmed. Due to the disturbing and lurid nature of the allegations, hashtags and topics such as #ChrisChan and #CHRISCHANDIDWHAT trended on Twitter, reaching 4th overall trend on July 30th,<ref>[https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-chris-chan-sonichu-comic-creator-leaves-twitter-scandalized-latest-trend Who is Chris Chan? Sonichu comic creator leaves Twitter scandalized with latest trend]</ref> exposing a large number of otherwise uninvolved individuals to the story of Chris-Chan causing the [[Orbiter Wave]].<br />
<br />
On 31 July, Null, who had access to Chris's email (with Chris's permission) since the [[Guard Dogs]] Saga,<ref name="marvinqna">[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Marvin answers questions regarding OPERATION: Kingsnake]]</ref><ref>[[OPERATION: Kingsnake]]</ref> found that Chris had received $750.00 from Barb's bank account, meaning he had either contacted Barb or gained access to Barb's bank account himself, either of which would violate the emergency protection order. When confronted, Chris initially denied the accusation, claiming he had "managed to find blessings in the minimum abundance needed." However, upon further questioning Chris about the money, he confirmed that he had had access to Barb's account for some time, contrary to Null's previous assumption that Barb had been in control of Chris's finances and not vice versa. Being upset by Chris embezzling from his mother and feeling betrayed that Chris lied to him to try to cover it up, Null finally cut all contact with him, reported the theft to authorities, and canceled the transfer of the GoFundMe money, arranging for it to be refunded to the donors.<ref name=NullTexts>[[Null DMs#Chris takes money from Barb]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Arrest==<br />
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|Chris, while being arrested.<ref name=video>[[#Video|Video of Chris's arrest filmed by Killstream crew]]</ref>}}<br />
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|left|400px|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."]]<br />
On the evening of 31 July, Reddit user ''[[Chrisisaman]]'' located [[Son-chu]] at the Regency Inn in [[Richmond]], confirming that Chris was in the city and that he would be spending time in a motel.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210801045236/https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ovlys1/location_confirmed_10_minutes_ago/ Archived Reddit post confirming Chris's location]</ref> The next day, [[Post-Merge Era|a number of people]] attempted to observe or contact Chris there. Observers noticed police cars stationed at the motel, but because the place was known to have a seedy reputation, it was not obvious if they were there for Chris or for some other reason. These cop cars eventually left without arresting Chris.<br />
<br />
The most significant of the observers was YouTuber [[Ethan Ralph]] who livestreamed himself and his friends [[Ween|driving to the motel to meet Chris]]. The group [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2|ordered a pizza]] in the hopes of luring him out, but this was unsuccessful. They then went about knocking on every door on the second floor (Chris had previously been filmed walking along the second floor balcony, suggesting that was where he was staying), but this was fruitless as well, and only led to the menagerie being ordered to leave by a [[Jerkop|motel employee]].<ref name=snippet>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-1-21-ethan-ralph-tries-to-drag-chris-chan-to-his-house.96772/post-9596798 Archived stream snippet]</ref><br />
<br />
Not giving up, the group went to the {{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall}} (of [[Christopher's name change#Leonard Bearstein|'the bear']] fame) across the street, following (incorrect) speculation that Chris might be there since he was not in his room. While livestreaming at the mall they had an encounter with a police officer, who would happen to be one of the officers who arrested Chris a few hours later (as Ethan acknowledges during the arrest).<br />
<br />
Later that afternoon, Ralph was tipped off that four Henrico County police cars had shown up at the motel. At around 6:00 PM, he got back just in time to film two officers perp-walking Chris down from his room, streaming the whole debacle for a live audience of over 3,000 viewers. While the police talked to Chris, Ralph sporadically yelled questions and comments, to which Chris occasionally responded. <br />
<br />
Unlike Chris's previous run-ins with the law, he remained mostly calm and compliant during the arrest (possibly due to [[The WCT]] having [[WCT DMs#Discussing the incest fallout|advised him the previous day]] to cooperate with the police during his arrest), though he rambled about the [[Dimensional Merge]] to both the police and Ralph's crew, promising that the Merge was in fact happening right at that moment. The police then loaded Chris into a squad car and left without answering Ralph's questions.<ref name=video/> An additional POV shot filmed by an anonymous onlooker showed Chris climbing directly into the cop car – the last footage of Chris to date.<br />
<br />
===Video===<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Chris-Chan Arrested<br />
| ytid = EqVo6ADqvgA<br />
| style = {{Tragedy|[[Chris and stress|My Baby Blue Arms]]}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|[[Autism|Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down]]}}<br />
| stardate = 1st [[August 2021]]<br />
| saga = {{Incest|text}} {{Prison|text}}<br />
| previous = <br />
| next = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
'''NOTE''': This transcript begins around 2:24:54, shortly after Ralph changes the perspective on his phone camera.<br />
<br />
{{collapsible|state=mw-collapsed|Transcript|<br />
''[The song "Save Your Tears" by the Weeknd plays in the background, while we see the inside of Ethan Ralph's car.]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': You guys can't see this, but...<br />
<br />
'''May''': They're bringing her out! They're bringing her out.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Oh, shit! Oh ''shit''--<br />
<br />
''[The camera pans to a neighboring car, and a woman coming out with her phone to also film the events'']<br />
<br />
'''May''': Oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': They're arresting her!<br />
<br />
''[Ralph gets out of the car and walks toward the fence. The woman from earlier is now kneeling with her phone pointing at the motel. Ralph walks past her.]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Sorry.<br />
<br />
''[Camera zooms in on the motel, focusing on the second floor, where the police officers are walking Chris]''<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': Oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, they're arresting Chris-Chan here at the hotel.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': ''(yelling) To the trolls and anybody else on the internet, do not record this!''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': ''(yelling)'' CHRIS-CHAN, ''WHAT'S UP?!'' Killstream, baby! When you get out, let's do the Killstream! Look me up!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Let the charges drop! It's all about [[Null|Joshua Conner Moon]]!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Tell 'em all about Josh Moon, that's who they want!<br />
<br />
''[Bystanders start yelling]''<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': Give it up, Chris-Chan!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Give him up... save yourself, girl!<br />
<br />
'''Another guy in background''': Magi-Chan will help you!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': You're beautiful!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Look up Ethan Ralph, Killstream! I live here in Richmond, buddy!<br />
<br />
'''Woman in background''': Go to church!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': No, come to... come to the Killstream first!<br />
<br />
''[As the cops walk Chris down the stairs, there is more yelling]''<br />
<br />
'''Person below''': ETHAN I BOUGHT YOUR STICKER!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': YEEEAH! What kind of shit is this? Holy shit! Oh my god, thank you!<br />
<br />
''[The cops are now walking Chris past the motel entrance]''<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Got a (indistinct) here!<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': Christian Weston Chandler, right here being...<br />
<br />
''[Camera turns past a nearby building as Ralph runs toward the motel parking lot]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Oh, shit, oh! You better hurry Jesse, you're missing out! Hehe.<br />
<br />
''[The camera now zooms in on Chris and three police officers, now standing outside a police car]''<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''':...oh no, (indistinct) transport in the front...<br />
<br />
''[One of the officers says something to Chris that cannot be heard, presumably asking for his name]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': ...Chris-Chan, or Sonichu, as they know...<br />
<br />
''[Stream freezes for a couple seconds]''<br />
<br />
'''Woman in background''':...Chris. (indistinct) Bring 'em...<br />
<br />
''[A fourth officer gets out of one of the police cars]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Hey, officers, how's it going?<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': How you doing? I just saw you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, that's right! That's you, oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Person in background''': Sorry about that, guys.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I told you!<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I'm going, I'm complying...<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I'm complying, I am good like this!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (To Chris) You are, you absolutely are!<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (To May) Yeah, I think so. <br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (To Chris) Yeah, you appear to be complying.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I am Chris-Chan Sonichu, your [[CPU Blue Heart|Goddess Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus and Rosechus]] and everybody. <br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, you're live to about 3,000 people right now, Christian!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': How do you plead?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well don't...you're taking everything in stride, you said you're doing good?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Yeah. I keep a good faith everything is going to work out.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Doing good, feeling good?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Yep.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': How's the last few days been? I know it's been pretty [[Stress|stressful]].<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Bit stressful, but... I've taken it one moment at a time and...I've got my...I've got my loves.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well that's good.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Do you, like, Josh Moon, like, did you dirty?<br />
<br />
''[An officer begins frisking Chris, and apparently finds something on his waistband]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (To officer) Oh, well, that's just the one thing, that's a pin. Feel free, just go ahead and take it out, it's a picture of Muffins from ''[[My Little Pony]]''.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Your [[Love Quest]] is over, Chris!<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (To officer) I promise like...I was not (indistinct) to fall... it fell off my bag, I did not want to lose it. And please, I would like that in my collection. (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Hey, Ethan!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': What's up, Jesse?<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': How you doing?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Boy we almost missed it, huh?<br />
<br />
''[Ralph and Jesse laugh]''<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': I was wandering around the mall.<br />
<br />
''[The officer starts searching Chris's left side]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': Well, heh. He's not offering me any options there...<br />
<br />
'''Officer''': I'm just letting you know I'm... (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': I literally ran out to get that (chuckles). This is nuts.<br />
<br />
''[Someone makes a noise in the background]''<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Christine, this man does want to help you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, we were trying to get you on the show, but...look, when you get out, look me up, Killstream. I don't know if you know who I am or not.<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': We're here to help you!<br />
<br />
''[Indistinct yelling in background]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': We saw what Josh was doing to you, so we wanted to come try to talk to you.<br />
<br />
''[The cop finishes his search]''<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': (To Chris) Do you have anything else on you?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I have nothing else on me.<br />
<br />
''[The police officer says something to Chris]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I understand. I have no weed, I have no drugs on (indistinct)... like I said, frisk me, there you go! (chuckles)<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (Chuckles)<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': [[Homos|That felt good]]!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (Laughs loudly)<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': Thank you.<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': Alright, let's have a seat.<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Christine, is the merge coming?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Aight...<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': It's happening now, we're on the very last thread!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (talking over Chris) The Merge, it's happening right now, isn't it?<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': It's happening right now, it is.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': We're living it!<br />
<br />
''[Chris turns to the officers.]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (indistinct) ...Batman into a hero. <br />
<br />
''[Chris sits down as one of the officers points into the back of the police car]''<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': It's happening right now.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Merge the dimensions, Chris!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Farewell, Chris Chan!<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': (indistinct) The Dimensional Merge is happening right now, August 1, 2021.<br />
<br />
''[Chris disappears into the back of the police car]'' <br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well there goes Chris Chan into the Henrico County... deputy's car here.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Don't let the boulder(?) hit you!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I don't think they've had an... arrest like this.<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': No, don't think so.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': We just got here, too.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': This is like the first time nobody's filming the police.<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': I know.<br />
<br />
''[Everyone laughs]''<br />
<br />
'''Someone else in background''': ...beginning of an era.<br />
<br />
'''Another person in background''': ...did you bring the wallet?<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Which one of you wanted to ask questions?<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Oh I had a chance, but...<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Okay...<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (To officers) Yeah, please do take like good care of her, she is like a good person.<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': I will. I treat everybody the same, man. Alright, y'all have a good day.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Thank you, officers.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Thank you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I appreciate y'all taking enough time for me to get here, too.<br />
<br />
''[Camera turns away from the police cars]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Woww! (breathing heavily) Was that... (camera turns to show Ralph's face) ...was that a scoop or what, ladies and gentlemen? What the, what in the world? Oh as always, falling into my lap here!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (indistinct) ...tell me I didn't make it happen, I told you it was gonna happen.<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': Dude... (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': He did, he told me. I wasn't going to come out to all this, but...<br />
<br />
'''May in background''': I can't believe he stayed over here!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': ...we just got the footage, Jesse PS was riding up over here!<br />
<br />
''[End of relevant footage.]''<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Initial jail stay==<br />
[[File:Chris Chan Calls Sonichu In Jail.jpg|thumb|left|250px|{{w|Spec Ops: The Line|"None of this would've happened if you'd just ''stopped''."}}]]<br />
[[File:Henrico County Jail West.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Henrico County Jail West]]<br />
[[File:Central Virginia Regional Jail.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Central Virginia Regional Jail]]<br />
At 8:23 PM later that day, Chris was booked into Henrico County Jail West and held without bail.<ref name=charged/><ref name=sun>{{Cite web<br />
| url = https://www.the-sun.com/news/3394847/chris-chan-sonichu-arrested-incest/<br />
| autoarchive = 20210804202308<br />
| title = Chris Chan arrested for ‘incest’ after claims Sonichu comic book creator sexually assaulted family member<br />
| website = The Sun<br />
}}</ref> On 2 August 2021, the Charlottesville CBS affiliate, CBS 19, reported on the case, following the release of a press release from the Greene County Sheriff's Department indicating that Chris had been moved to [[Chris's homes#Central Virginia Regional Jail|Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which serves several rural counties including Greene County.<ref name="press release">Press release on [https://www.cbs19news.com/story/44432363/suspect-arrested-in-sex-crimes-against-family-member-case CBS], [https://www.facebook.com/269663503100241/photos/a.398555170211073/4389133984486485/?type=3 Facebook]</ref><br />
<br />
Calls to the Sheriff's Office confirmed that Chris was being held on a charge of incest. Notably, the charge against Chris is listed on the Henrico Sheriff's Office website as "incest with own child or grandchild",<ref name=charged>[[:File:Charged.png]]</ref> presumably because "incest with own parent" charges are too uncommon to warrant an option for them in the software.<ref>{{Cite farms<br />
|thread = 96776<br />
|post = 9613612<br />
|title = Chris - The Legal Issues - A Prosecutor's Perspective<br />
|user = TherapyMan<br />
|wayback = 20210804182815<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
The record for Chris's custody status initially labelled him as female<ref>[[:File:Chris custody status female gender.png]]</ref> due to him having legally changed the gender marker on his driver's license in 2016.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> It was claimed by sensationalist media that Chris would be housed in a female jail,<ref>https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9859653/Trans-YouTuber-Chris-Chan-39-filed-female-police-housed-women-inmates.html</ref><ref name=tucker>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9PW_XVGWHw Tucker Carlson discusses Chris-Chan]</ref> though this was not confirmed by official sources. The custody status record was updated to list Chris as male without explanation and he was placed in a corresponding facility.<ref name=InsiderGender>[https://www.insider.com/chris-chan-arrest-jail-transgender-trans-woman-men-male-incest-2021-8 After her arrest on an incest charge, Chris Chan is being categorized as male in jail despite being a trans woman]</ref> It is noted that transgender inmates in Virginia are usually only placed in the prison of their identified gender if they have received sex-change surgery,<ref>[https://richmond.com/news/virginia/transgender-prison-inmates-5-to-6-times-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-sexual-assault/article_79c231fd-4d27-5a38-bc48-500301794348.html Transgender prison inmates 5 to 6 times more likely to be victims of sexual assault in U.S., study says]</ref> which Chris has not. On 7 August 2021, conservative media host {{w|Tucker Carlson}} briefly talked about the discourse in a {{w|Fox News}} segment, exposing millions of retired, right-wing boomers to Chris for the first time.<ref name=tucker></ref><br />
<br />
Many observers predicted Chris would not take to an extended jail stay well. However, on August 5, the jail's Captain Hoffman told news, "I've had an interaction with inmate Chandler and it's been fine. Everything is okay."<ref name=InsiderGender/> This surprising revelation could be explained by a [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|letter]] Chris sent from jail in early November, which strongly implies that he has been placed in some form of protective custody to ensure his safety. A [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|previous letter]] he sent in early October confirms that he is being fed well and that he has been able to purchase minor luxuries from the jail's commissary including playing cards, earplugs and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]].<br />
<br />
==Legal proceedings and communications==<br />
The case is being handled by the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court.<ref name=ContinuanceDate>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Incest Case November '21 Continuance]]</ref> Due to the sensitive nature of the court's cases, it is unknown what details will be publicly available.<br />
<br />
=== First court appearance ===<br />
[[File:HeilbergPortraitNew.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Chris's lawyer, David Heilberg.]]<br />
On 4 August 2021, Kenneth Sneathern, a judge from Greene County's General District Court, assigned [[David Heilberg]] to represent Chris, and also transferred the case to Greene's J&DR (Juvenile and Domestic Relations) court for bond.<br />
<br />
During the hearing, Chris requested feminine pronouns be used for himself due to being [[transgender]].<ref name=initial_trial/><br />
<br />
=== Second court appearance ===<br />
On 5 August 2021, Chris appeared before Greene County's J&DR court for the beginning of his arraignment, represented by Charlottesville public defender David Heilberg.<ref name=initial_trial/><br />
<br />
Edwin Consolvo, the attorney representing [[Greene County]], asked presiding judge David M. Barredo to deny Chris bond out of concern for "the community's safety and Ms. Chandler's safety," pointing out that "it’s clear that people sought out where Chandler was staying at a hotel in Henrico and videotaped her arrest." Chris interrupted by loudly saying, "[[Chris and his ego|I'm famous on the internet]]," to which Heilberg advised him not to speak unless spoken to by the court.<br />
<br />
Chris was sworn in to state his case for bond, but instead demanded to be allowed to pick up personal possessions first, saying he would be "willing to proceed with everything if I can get that done."<br />
<br />
Judge Barredo pointed out that bond considerations involve whether a defendant is a flight risk and whether the defendant is a danger to himself, his family, or community. Chris interrupted to say, "she", in reference to his [[transgender]] identity; Barredo responded he was reciting from the state statute.<br />
<br />
Barredo ordered Chris to be held without bond until the preliminary trial on 16 September, listing as reasons the nature of the allegations against Chris and that there appears to be a personal danger to Chris and the public at large. While Heilberg was informing the judge that he sought "[[Autism papers|evaluations]]" of Chris, Chris ''interrupted his own attorney'' by loudly stomping on the floor and demanding "to get everything back home," claiming "I won't feel safe proceeding" until he could get the items back.<ref name=initial_trial>[https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html Internet personality "Chris-Chan" in court on incest charge] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210805180746/https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html (archive)]</ref><br />
<br />
Judging by Chris's behavior, it can be inferred that Chris either did not fully understand or [[Chris and remorse|care about]] the seriousness of his charges and the possible [[Chris and negotiation|consequences]], or that he still expected to be saved by the [[Dimensional Merge]].<br />
<br />
On 9 August 2021, Newsweek posted an article on the case, quoting Heilberg, who said that his client was "legally disabled with mental health issues," and called Chris's online antics "a product of mental health issues causing misguided attention seeking and often provocative engagement with others."<ref name=MentalHealth>{{Cite web<br />
| url = https://www.newsweek.com/chris-chans-lawyer-says-mental-health-issues-contributed-incest-charge-1617388<br />
| title = Chris Chan's Lawyer Says 'Mental Health Issues' Contributed to Incest Charge<br />
| last = Beresford<br />
| first = Jack<br />
| website = Newsweek<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
=== Continuance and first letter from jail ===<br />
{{Main|Jail Letter - 19 September 2021}}<br />
[[File:Nullletter1.jpg|thumb|200px|The first page of Chris's letter.]]<br />
Chris's next court appearance was to begin 16 [[September 2021]],<ref name=initial_trial/> but got a continuance before the hearing was even set to commence{{refn|The hearing was scheduled for 10:00 AM;<ref name=initial_trial/> news of the continuance broke at 8:31 AM.<ref name=time>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Incest Case September '21 Continuance]]</ref>}} due to the defense requesting more time to evaluate Chris's [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]], giving him a brief respite.<ref name=ContinuanceReason>https://twitter.com/terrybeigie/status/1438504504396161029 (archive: https://archive.ph/THcDL)</ref><br />
<br />
Three days later, Chris penned a bizarre letter directed to [[Null]] and defense lawyer David Heilberg, in which he ranted at [[Null]] for turning his back on Chris, and claimed to be [[Jesus Christ]] reincarnated, among other equally batshit statements.<ref name=letter/><br />
<br />
=== More communications from jail ===<br />
{{See also|Jail Communications}}<br />
In [[:Category:Jail Letters|additional correspondences from jail]], Chris provides brief updates on his current experiences and conditions in jail. He would also continue to double down on [[Chris and reality|his delusions]], threaten any weens to not steal things from his house, beg for money for both himself and Barbara, and demand his release from jail. In [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|one of these letters]] Chris rejects a fan's attempt to convert him to Islam. As with his previous replies, he draws offensive comparisons between himself and Allah, and rants more about the [[Dimensional Merge]].<br />
<br />
Chris has also called several people while in jail using the inmate telephone service, although, what Chris says in these calls is not much different from what can be found inside the letters. However, [[Jail Call - 11 January 2022|in one of the calls]], Chris states that he has attempted to call Barbara multiple times, only to receive no answer from her.<br />
<br />
=== Third court appearance ===<br />
<br />
Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18 [[November 2021|November]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Several fans attempted to attend this hearing, but were turned away by courthouse staff,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/qwr53j/tried_going_to_the_hearing_but_was_turned_away_by/</ref> as the hearing was closed at the request of Chris's lawyer.<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref><br />
<br />
Another continuance was granted, with the next hearing taking place after the new year, on 3 [[February 2022]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Chris spent the Thanksgiving, [[Christmas]], and New Years holidays behind bars.<br />
<br />
The 3 February hearing was also closed to the public and resulted in another continuance. As a result, Chris spent his 40th [[Christian Love Day|birthday]] incarcerated and missed out on [[BABSCon]] in April. The 28 [[July 2022]] court hearing took place without a continuance, four days short of the one-year anniversary of his arrest,<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11138163}}([https://archive.ph/GfIWv archive])</ref> which resulted in the case being presented to a Grand Jury.<br />
<br />
=== Transfer ===<br />
[[File:Transfer.jpg|thumb|200px|Email from VINE confirming the transfer.]]<br />
<br />
On 28 February 2022, the Virginia VINE Service confirmed that Chris had been transferred to another location from Central Virginia Regional Jail.<ref>[https://vinelink.vineapps.com/person-detail/offender/17312020;tabIndexToSelect=0 VINELink page]</ref><br />
<br />
Details regarding the circumstances that led to this are not known, but Chris eventually confirmed he had been sent to [[Western State Hospital]].<ref name=1jun>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref><ref group = "note">VINELink could not track Chris in the period of his transfer, so wherever he was placed is not a jail. The courts are required by law to say if Chris was transferred to a prison. The transfer status would be "Released" if Chris was sent back to his house. When called, CVRJ says the information is "Privileged" which usually means medical.</ref> This was due to a competency evaluation following his third hearing, so he could be "educated" on court proceedings for his July hearing.<br />
[[File:Inmate No Longer Here.jpg|thumb|left|A letter to Chris's jail being rejected due to him being transferred.]]<br />
Someone claiming to work for an EMS later private messaged the CWCki Jerkop [[User:Larry the Larryhog|Larry the Larryhog]] about Chris's record.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-31#post-11335917 Kiwi Farms post regarding Chris's record]([https://archive.ph/5yQZh archive])</ref> They claimed that Chris was transferred via ambulance with a law enforcement escort and that Chris was able to receive narcotic sedative when needed (though the claims are yet to be verified). A Kiwi Farms member claimed that Chris may have been brought to Western State Hospital,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-15#post-11307353 Kiwi Farms post claiming that Chris was transferred to the Western State Hospital]([https://archive.ph/SWHBS archive])</ref> which specializes in mental disorders, and this was eventually confirmed by [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]], in which Chris revealed details indicating Western State Hospital.<br />
<br />
=== Second Transfer ===<br />
[[File:May3jailconfirmed.PNG|thumb|200px]]<br />
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's third mugshot. The shit eating grin on his face has faded away, and all it took was a simple game of [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022|Pin The Autistic a day before his return]].]]<br />
Chris was transferred back to the Central Virginia Regional Jail on 3 [[May 2022]]. A mugshot that was taken after the transfer, the first photo of him since [[August 2021]], shows Chris noticeably thinner, with longer hair, more sunken-in eyes, and looking much more gaunt and less enthusiastic than he did previously. This was apparently due to a [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pin-me-down]] event occurring the day before while at [[Western State Hospital]].<ref name=1jun></ref><br />
<br />
=== Fourth court appearance and Grand Jury ===<br />
Chris's fourth court hearing was scheduled for 10:00AM EDT on 28 [[July 2022]] as revealed by a call from an anonymous Discord user to the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court. It has to be noted that the courthouse gave this information freely and without asking any further questions about the inquiry.<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Hearing Time<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wp88IpxoG2M}}<br />
| stardate = 28 [[July 2022]]<br />
| subject = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
As a result of the hearing, Chris's case was transferred out of the J&DR court and to the Circuit Court. It was sent to a <abbr title="A jury of peers, larger than a regular jury, who determine if the state currently has enough evidence to charge with a felony. The grand jury does not determine someone's innocence or guilt.">grand jury</abbr> for a potential felony incest charge.<br />
<br />
Fans such as [[Kiwi Farms]] users and [[Kenneth Engelhardt]] called the court clerk who informed them of the grand jury move. It was confirmed by court records.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I just called the Clerk of Court for Greene County regarding CWC. Yes it is verified this is going before a grand jury on felony charges.|Kenneth<ref>https://twitter.com/OnionfarmsMedia/status/1552724115345268736</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Proof Call<br />
| ytid = 2uQkwRB8njA<br />
| style = <br />
| stardate = 28 July 2022<br />
| saga = {{Prison|text}}<br />
| previous = <br />
| next = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Deferred disposition and sealing of case ===<br />
<br />
{{Misinfo|Chris is NOT being released from jail as a result of his autism. The grand jury hearing was merely postposed due to Chris's lawyer filing a [https://www.justice.gov/usao/justice-101/pretrial-motions motion] for an autism disorder deference three days prior to the intended meeting date. His case will also not be dismissed. Rather, his sentence has been [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deferred_sentence deferred], will be placed under probation terms, and some of his records, primarily information regarding his pre-trial, will be required to be concealed, as only specific higher-ups will be able to access them.}}<br />
<br />
On 5 [[August 2022]], [[David Heilberg]] filed a motion for an autism disorder deferred disposition.<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png]]</ref> The grand jury hearing, which was scheduled to occur on 8 August, was instead continued. A motion hearing is due to take place on 9 August.<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022.png]]</ref> A caller had asked the court about Chris's records, to which they revealed them being <abbr title="Some of Chris's records will be required to be concealed from the public, but will still be available to select higher-ups for specific purposes.">sealed</abbr> due to overwhelming public interest of the case. David Heilberg had also confirmed this in a response to an email, explaining that the case was sealed so that potential jurors in Greene County would not be unduly prejudiced in the event of Chris's case going to trial:<ref>[[:File:HeilbergStatement.png]]</ref><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|RE: Reporting on Christine Chandler<br />
<br />
Mr. Brown:<br />
<br />
The reason that the case was sealed was because there was so much intense legitimate and illegitimate external interest about Ms. Chandler. Greene County is a small rural place. In a unique situation like this, there is case authority (attached) to keep all pre-trial materials sealed so that it will later be possible to select a local jury for a fair trial if and when this is needed. The application of the <u>Depasquale</u> remedy to prevent prejudicial pre-trial publicity is probably the only story that you can tell. This relief is rarely sought and allowed. However, the unique intense interest in this case, including inaccurate online disinformation, required this infrequently used remedy. In our current age of unregulated online disinformation about almost anything and everyone, this remedy might be needed now more than ever.<br />
<br />
Dave<br />
<br />
David L. Heilberg, PLC<br><br />
Attorney at Law}}<br />
<br />
"Depasquale" refers to the 1978 [[wikipedia:United States Supreme Court|Supreme Court]] case ''Gannett Company, Inc. v. DePasquale'', which held that prohibiting the public from attending pre-trial proceedings in criminal cases is a legitimate method to minimize prejudicial publicity.<ref>https://www.oyez.org/cases/1978/77-1301</ref><br />
<br />
An autism deferred disposition refers to a Virginia law passed in 2020 which could result in a deference of further court proceedings with the defendant placed on probation terms set by the court, and could also result in the charge being dismissed, if the defendent completes certain criteria set by a judge before a review of their case.<ref>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/19.2-303.6/</ref><br />
<br />
=== Looking forward ===<br />
{{Dated|artsect=section}}<br />
Exactly what is next for Chris will be heavily influenced by the outcome of the legal processes involved. Son-mother incest is a Class 5 felony in Virginia.<ref>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter8/section18.2-366/</ref> Class 5 is a wobbler felony which can either remain as a felony or be downgraded to a misdemeanor.<ref>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter1/section18.2-10/</ref><ref>https://www.silislaw.com/blog/2014/april/virginia-criminal-law-basics-felonies/</ref> With his charge imminent to be upgraded to a felony, he could be facing up to 10 years in prison; the maximum sentence for felony incest. If Barb is found to have been physically incapacitated, Chris will be placed on the [[List of places that have banned Chris#Looking ahead|sex offender registry]] for a minimum of fifteen years when (or if) he gets out,<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210318155920/http://sex-offender.vsp.virginia.gov/sor/statutes.html</ref> [[Kick the Autistic|effectively banning him]] from any place attended by minors or any 'vulnerable' individuals, including all the [[conventions]] and [[GameStop|video game]]/[[Toys r us|toy stores]] he loves going to so much. In addition, if Chris is charged with a felony, his subsequent legal proceedings must be open to the public, although they cannot be televised or streamed online.{{cite}}<br />
<br />
Further complicating matters is that as early as [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|11 May 2022]], Chris began denying he had ever engaged in any sexual affairs with Barb (despite previously stating he had in the [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]]), even claiming that Bella confessed to fabricating information during the call without any clarification whatsoever.<ref name=1jun></ref> Needless to say, if Chris were to give false statements in a court of law intentionally, it would be digging a deeper hole for him, given existing evidence.<br />
<br />
==Charge==<br />
On 29 [[July 2022]], Greene County Circuit Court posted information relating to Chris's case. Chris's case number is CR22000141-00 and the offense is 18.2-366 (written in the software as "Incest w/own child"), a Class 5 felony. The information also provides official confirmation that Chris had been sent to [[Western State Hospital]] earlier in the year. Chris was also evaluated by "ILPPP", the [[University of Virginia]]'s Institute of Law, Psychiatry and Public Policy. It also notes that David Heilberg had sent a letter to Chris before the last hearing. Note that the dates aren't accurately reflected, as the records weren't public until July 29. Future pleadings and orders regarding Chris will presumably be dated accurately.<br />
<br />
===Pleadings/Orders Detail===<br />
{| class="wikitable sortable"<br />
|-<br />
! Filed<br />
! Type<br />
! Party<br />
! Judge<br />
! Book<br />
! Page<br />
! Remarks<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Warrants<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
| <br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Complaint<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
| <br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Other<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
| CHECKLIST FOR BAIL <br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Commitment Order<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
| <br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Other<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FINANCIAL STATEMENT<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Request <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR APPT OF A LAWYER<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Evaluation Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Other <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022 <br />
|Motion <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|TO CLOSE PRE-TRIAL PROCEED<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|TO CLOSE PRE-TRIAL PROCEED<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Transportation Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Transportation Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Evaluation Report <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FROM ILPPP<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR TREATMENT OF INCOMPETE<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|TO CLOSE HEARING<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Transportation Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Evaluation Report <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FROM [[Western State Hospital|WESTERN STATE HOSPITA]]<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Letter<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FROM [[David Heilberg|DAVID HEILBERG]]<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY<br />
|-<br />
|07/29/2022<br />
|Notice <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|DISPOSITION NOTICE<br />
|-<br />
|08/05/2022<br />
|Motion <br />
|DEF<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR [[Autism|AUTISM]] DISORDER DEFERR<br />
|-<br />
|08/08/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY<br />
|-<br />
|08/09/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|CVW<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|08/10/2022<br />
|Transportation Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|08/08/2022<br />
|Waive Right To Indictment<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|08/09/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|08/23/2022<br />
|Order <br />
|<br />
|CVW<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|-<br />
|09/01/2022<br />
|Letter<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|<br />
|FROM DBHDS<br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
<br />
===Gallery===<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 29 July 2022.png|29 July 2022, Indictment to Grand Jury<br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 29 July 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png|29 July 2022, Indictment to Grand Jury, Pleadings/Orders detail page<br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 5 August 2022.png|5 August 2022, Motion to Pre-trial added<br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022.png|9 August 2022, No Indictment presented, continuance<br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png|9 August 2022, motion by defense "for autism disorder deferr" [sic]<br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 11 August 2022 - Pleadings-Orders.png|11 August 2022, the Pleadings/Orders detail page, which previously included information under Remarks, is censored by court staff<br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 11 August 2022.png|11 August 2022, a review of Chris's case is scheduled for [[August 2023]]<br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 11 August 2022 (2) - Pleadings-Orders.png|11 August 2022, Pleadings/Orders detail page, showing "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order"<br />
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 22 September 2022 - Pleadings-Orders.png|22 September 2022, Pleadings/Orders detail page, showing some updates noted on the case file, including that a letter was lodged from The Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services (DBHDS).<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Sonichu Saves Chris Chan from Prison to Fight Clyde Cash & Liquid Chris!<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-BCDY1xWcUM}}<br />
| stardate = 11 [[September 2021]]<br />
| maker = sheWIND<br />
| subject = Chris in jail<br />
| type = Animation<br />
| info = "Christine Weston Chandler, aka Chris Chan, mayor of Cwcville, is rescued by the demential merge after going to jail for hurting Barb by Sonichu to have a final battle against some of his strongest trolls, Clyde Cash and Liquid Chris!!"<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = chris chan in prison<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Yq3D_ohKXw}}<br />
| stardate = 3 [[January 2022]]<br />
| maker = Antonio Prola<br />
| subject = Chris in jail<br />
| info = "......you know the how expression too many cooks spoil the broth? Well t- this was too many crooks! Too many CROOKS! TOO many CROOKS! And that ED page is one of those crooks. Every page. Every word. On the discussion page. Is a crook."<br />
<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Congratulations Chris Chan, Animatic with Voices<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FZlxWjymXso}}<br />
| stardate = 5 [[May 2022]]<br />
| maker = nathanwagnervo<br />
| subject = Animatic<br />
| info = Sonichu musically telling off Chris for ruining his own life.<br />
<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris Chan in Ace Attorney<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bBeZYyu0vR0}}<br />
| stardate = 3 [[August 2021]]<br />
| maker = Tails is dissapointed in your recent decisions<br />
| info = We're in for quite the ride, aren't we?<br />
<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Fan Art==<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:-Category-Sonichu-.png<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[28 October 2011]]<br />
*[[26 December 2014]]<br />
*[[Post-Merge Era]]<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{IncestSaga}}<br />
{{PrisonSaga}}<br />
{{Law}}<br />
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Main_Page&diff=300213Main Page2022-12-07T02:26:40Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div><!-- BANNER ACROSS TOP OF PAGE --><br />
{| id="mp-topbanner" style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"<br />
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<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>and (alleged) [[Affair with Mother|literal motherfucker]].</div><br />
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">'''''[[Passive observers|OBSERVE]] CHRISTORY. DON'T [[Unholy Quintet|MAKE]] CHRISTORY.'''''</div><br />
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles... and counting!</div> <br />
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,<br> that may seem similar to anyone in real life, <br>are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[parody|parodic]]."''</div><br />
|}<br />
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| style="width:50%; font-size:100%;" |<br />
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| style="color:#000;" | {{Newbie}}{{Check this out}}<br />
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| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:Article of the now|Article of the Week]]</h2><br />
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Prison Counter}}</div><br />
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| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">This Day in Christory</h2><br />
|-<br />
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Christory}}</div><br />
|-<br />
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:Did you know|Did You Know...]]</h2><br />
|-<br />
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Did you know}}</div><br />
|-<br />
|}<br />
| style="border:1px solid transparent;" |<br />
<!-- CHECK THIS OUT; DA UPDATE; QUOTE OF THE NOW --><br />
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|-<br />
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{CWCki News}}</div><br />
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__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__<br />
<br />
[[Category:Special]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Jerkop&diff=300206Jerkop2022-12-05T09:48:01Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Creation of a Jerkop */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|[[Mary Lee Walsh|That *&^%$]] SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "[[Virgina is for Virgins]], NOT Lovers".}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]]<br />
A '''Jerkop''' is a '''mall security guard''', '''police officer''' or '''prison guard'''. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|JERK]]" and "cop". Female Jerkops are sometimes called '''Janekops'''.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20111128031730/https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Jerkops.2C_Janekops.2C_ATTACK.21]</ref><br />
<br />
In the [[comic|Sonichu comics]], Jerkops serve as the villainous private army of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]], with Sonichu liberating them from the former's control in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].<br />
<br />
==Appearance==<br />
[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Standard Jerkops watch [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|some shitty recolor]] levitate in a [[2004]] short.]]<br />
<br />
Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. Chris goes into greater detail in his "Backyard Safari" feature in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks [[Death threats|evil]] and [[Mass debating|naughty]] thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the[sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, [[Virgin with rage|they rarely attract any women]]. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil[sic], yet ugly legs; viens[sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove[sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of[sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because they are ashamed of their sausage feet. When attacked by one, you can take it down easily by kicking it here, in the sour-dough area.}}<br />
<br />
Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an even simpler fashion than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles. <br />
<br />
Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the [[CWCipedia]]. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including Jerkhiefs and Jerkop Daitenzen such as Bagget.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20111128031730/https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Construction_of_the_PVCCitizens_Building]</ref><br />
{{clear}}<br />
===Mecha-Jerkops===<br />
[[Image:Mecha-jerkops.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Like Robocop, only... no, actually, they're nothing like Robocop at all.]]<br />
Robotic minions of the [[Jerkops]], the [[Mecha-Jerkops]] first appeared in [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]]. Humanoid in appearance, the Mecha-Jerkops are about half the size of normal humans, and are dressed and armed to resemble human Jerkops in every other respect. Because of this, and Chris's inconsistent depiction of scale and perspective, it is difficult to distinguish Mecha-Jerkops from their organic counterparts, and they may have appeared in subsequent issues without being named. <br />
<br />
In [[Sub-Episode 4]], "McAttack Part 1", [[B-Manajerk]] explains that the [[Jerkhief]] informed him of [[Chris]] and his [[Love Quest]]. To help the Manajerks at [[Mal-Wart]] defeat Chris, the Jerkhief sent a pair of Mecha-Jerkops to help the B-Manajerk, and his partner, the [[Merried Seinor Comic]]. Before the Mecha-Jerkops could act, however, they were cut down by the sword of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who had come to help Chris battle the Manajerks.<br />
<br />
==Police?==<br />
{{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], page 28}}<br />
<br />
[[File:IwouldntfeelcomfortableMySpace.jpg|thumb|"Police-Women" on Chris's [[dating]] blacklist]]<br />
<br />
While a common misconception holds that [[Chris]] essentially delivered a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarified in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu ''#5]] that [[Niggos|brown]] (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]]. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops was a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically put the police on a pedestal. <br />
<br />
That said, Chris held a very narrow definition of a "true" police officer. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again pointed out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seemed to be a major sticking point for Chris. As far as he was concerned, the color of a cop's uniform provided the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms (or plain clothes when undercover) whether Chris approves or not. Brown is also a popular choice for county police and sheriff's deputies' uniforms (i.e. those serving Greene County), while blue is more common in the cities. <br />
<br />
Whatever he was wearing at the time, [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris's earlier outlook, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the [[Chris and the Law|law]]. <br />
<br />
Subsequent to the events of [[28 October 2011]], these distinctions are moot. Chris now hates and fears all security guards or police officers regardless of their uniforms or the source of their authority. In a Facebook status update from January 2012, made during an attempt to trawl the [[Fashion Square Mall]] for sweethearts, he states: "After October 28, 2011; I know have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called Officers of the Badge."<br />
<br />
==Police in ''Sonichu''==<br />
While [[CWCville]] has a police department in ''Sonichu'', they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in [[Sonichu 9|#9]] they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in [[Sonichu 10|#10]], Chris introduces Constables Lou Perez and Gerald Grant, when Magi-Chan sends them to check Inos into a soup hotel.{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Equipment== <br />
<br />
{{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS!|[[Jerkhief]], [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] cover}}<br />
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[[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A [[pickle]] cleverly disguised as a pistol.]]<br />
<br />
Jerkops, in fitting with their mission to prevent autistic manchildren from procreating, are equipped with faux badges, evidently made of crackers, glitter glue and tree bark.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20120628142040/https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_56]</ref> What purpose these serve is unknown, as [[Chris|no one]] would be so [[Autistic|retarded]] as to fall for such a shoddy disguise. <br />
<br />
In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick, pulled from nowhere. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. [[Jerkhief]] wields a Halberd-like Pole Axe, and wears a suit of powered armor with Laser Cannons and Missile Lauchers in its shoulders and back, along with the ability to fire off its fists like rockets- he also keeps a Pistol and a Metal Slingshot as backup weaponry. [[Bagget|Jerkop Daitenzen]] wields a sword, and his costume seems to be made of a special material that protects him from the electric attacks of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].<br />
<br />
The Jerkops also employ several [[Decepti-Clones|transforming robots]] for transportation and battle. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown-liveried Police Cruisers, "Scoundrels as Vessels", which transform into heavily-armoured SUVs, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue [[Wikipedia:Sukhoi Su-35|Jet Fighters]]. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. <br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Weaknesses==<br />
[[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|center|thumb|300px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO]]<br />
As demonstrated above, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick to this region, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because their fat absorbs the impact.<br />
<br />
==Creation of a Jerkop==<br />
[[File:CrowdofJerkops.jpg|thumb|right|200|What Chris sees every time he steps in the mall.]]<br />
According to the CWCipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.<br />
<br />
As seen in Chris's [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a [[virgin with rage|hard time reproducing]]. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]", and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then, Chris makes it abundantly clear that his Electric Hedgehogs have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the otherwise completely innocent victims in their fights.<br />
<br />
Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when [[Ultra Sonichu]] uses his [[GodJesus|nigh-omnipotence]] to supposedly cure all Jerkops everywhere forever.<br />
<br />
==Appearances in comic==<br />
*[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: "Off-Target"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: "Off-Target part 2"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Sonichu 5 Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Sonichu 6 Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Sonichu 7 Episode 16: "Time Hogs"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_9#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|Sonichu 9 Episode 20: "CWC-Defense"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|Sonichu 10 Episode 21: Christian Chandler in "Director Amenities"]]<br />
*[[Sonichu_12#Episode_26:_Prideful|Sonichu 12 Episode 26: "Prideful"]]<br />
<br />
==Notable Jerkops==<br />
*[[Jerkhief]]<br />
*[[Bagget]]<br />
*[[Punislav]]<br />
*[[Cole Smithey]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}} <br />
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]]<br />
*[[Manajerks]]<br />
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]<br />
*[[Chris and the law]]<br />
{{CWC-isms}} <br />
{{Love quest}}<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
[[Category: Villains]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCville&diff=300205CWCville2022-12-05T01:50:02Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Twin towns */ Added some more "C-Ville" examples.</p>
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<div>[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] no elections.|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]], 2009}}<br />
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{{Quote|[Christine] has had emotions and more stress after being back in office, so she retired from being mayor, and gave the job back to Allison|Chris "retired" from being mayor of CWCville, 2017<ref>[[Sonichu 11]], pg. 46</ref>}}<br />
<br />
'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville"), also stylized as '''Cwcville''', is an independent and self-governing city-state in northern [[Virginia]], [[United States]]. Despite it's leaders claims to the contrary, the country is a totalitarian dictatorship - sporting a pervasive [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|personality cult]] around the leader, [[Sonichu 10#Trial of the Asperpedia Four|no independent judiciary]] nor any [[CWCville Mayoral Office|seperation of power]], [[Mailbag 31|mass surveillance]] of the populace as well as largely autonomous [[chaotic combo|paramilitary organizations]]. The [[CWCville#Economy|economy]] is almost exclusively geared towards serving the whims of the ruling elite, with many of the country's citizens living in homeless shelters. Due to widespread discontent, elements of a façade democracy have been at times [[CWCville#Elections|introduced and retracted again]]. The country has engaged in [[4-cent_garbage.com|state terrorism]] against neighboring countries in the past.<br />
<br />
As the name suggests, CWCville is derived from Chris's own initials, and serves as much of an exercise in [[Chris and his ego|boosting his ego]] as you'd expect. While the setting was initially believed exist to justify [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his self-insert's presence]] in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', it was later learned that Chris's concept of a utopia had origins with a [[Lego]] city created in [[Chris's room|his own bedroom]], predating the webcomic. Additional lore provided over the years also indicated that Chris himself is not the founder of this city, but his father was, and he named it after his newborn son.<br />
<br />
Chris believes that CWCville [[Chris and reality|actually exists]], and for many years used the city as a way to “[[Chris and coping|escape]]” from anything he [[Kick the Autistic|does not like]].<ref name="cwcville-reality">[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Recently, Chris has used [[Dimensional Merge|other]] [[Messiah complex|means]] [[Spirit possession|of]] coping, and CWCville became part of the parallel dimension of [[C-197]], which he also believes to actually exist. Curiously, Chris has occasionally referred to [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] as CWCville.<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
{{Quote|The city of CWCville, a vibrant community with happy people, [[boyfriend-free girl|cool chicks]] and a [[virgin with rage|frustrated male]]...|Narrator, [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]<ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Episode 9, Page 6.jpg]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|left|The toys that started it all.]]<br />
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville (note their postal code is the same as Chris's birthday and its address is nearly identical to his real address).]]<br />
[[File:cwcville1.jpg|thumb|200px|A slightly more detailed (but no less disproportionate) drawing of CWCville.]]<br />
<br />
CWCville is the setting of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', a city in Northern [[Virginia]] of which [[Chris]] was Mayor-for-Life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect [[Chris and his Ego|his bias toward himself]]. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]], Chris believed for many years that CWCville actually exists, claiming at one point to be Mayor of CWCville “IN REAL LIFE”.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref><ref name="cwcville-reality"/> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. <br />
<br />
It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] is bolstered by his ability to retreat to CWCville, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating the [[Jerkops]], and bringing his dead dog [[Patti Chandler]] back to life in the form of the anthropomorphic [[Patti-Chan]]. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts is due to the fact that in CWCville his will is supreme. This serves as a safety blanket that protects his physically and mentally feeble self from the outside world, where he holds no such power.<br />
<br />
Chris is greatly concerned with people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville, or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly attempted to redact the statement claiming "I am still the mayor of CWCville, there is [sic] no elections."<ref> Chris-chan discusses </ref> <ref>[[Mumble 11|Mumble #11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32>[https://web.archive.org/web/20160329034421/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32(Archive)]</ref> Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it. <br />
<br />
The seed of CWCville was planted early in Chris's life. An avid [[LEGO]] enthusiast, Chris eventually put all of his completed LEGO kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade ''Sonichu'' items together on one table in his room. In [[February 2011]], Chris claimed to have finally disassembled the LEGO model, but he insisted that the city "still stands strong today within my own mind and hands."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 2]]</ref><br />
<br />
The first official CWCville media was made in [[2001]].<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]</ref> in [[2003]]. This spelling features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy. <br />
<br />
Even in his ultimate self-serving fantasy in which he's given himself unchecked power for life, Chris's stunted imagination granted him only the title of mayor. Based on his maps, CWCkville consists of so few buildings that it would more accurately qualify as a village or hamlet, although this could be a consequence of his physical and mental limitations. He later created the land of [[RuleCWC]], a Sonichu [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripoff]] of Hyrule; a different character rules it instead of Chris's self-insert. All this suggests that at least in terms of his understanding of the world, Chris lags behind even an early [[Nathanael_Greene_Elementary_School|grade school]] age child.<br />
<br />
In late-[[2017]] Chris ceased being merely the mayor of a town and instead became goddess of an [[C-197|entire dimension]]. Chris's earlier restraint may be due to his extremely limited worldview in which his entire world centers around his immediate surroundings, namely his hometown of [[Ruckersville]] and nearby [[Charlottesville]]. This weak sense of one's surroundings is a trait that is typically seen only in young children who lack basic life experience. One might hope that Chris's ability to understand scope and relevance had improved, but he has instead become only more delusional.<br />
<br />
==Etymology==<br />
One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade ''Pokémon'' cards]] from [[2000]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym", while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". A sign on the door to his room used to read "Christian W. Chandler's Cwickville City Gym". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville, etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)<br />
<br />
== In-universe history ==<br />
<br />
According to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' 8]], Chris’s father, [[Bob Chandler]], founded CWCville in [[1982]].<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu #8'']], [[Episode 18]], [[:File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 8.jpg|page 8]].</ref> It is unclear why it was not called Robertville: in fact, there are barely any records and symbols of the old regime – similar to the Roman practice of ''{{w|damnatio memoriae}}'', where all records of a traitor (statues, inscriptions, etc.) are erased after his death.<br />
<br />
One fan theory is that Bob served as a regent while Chris was growing up, since there are {{w|Zaifeng, Prince Chun|real life}} {{w|Mswati III|examples}}: since Chris believes that CWCville is real, and that nearly all of the events in the comic mirror real life (albeit with a [[Chris and his ego|pro-Chris spin]]), it is safe to assume that Bob was alive when passing CWCville over to Chris. Another fan theory for Bob’s absence from the comics is that Chris overthrew Bob and secretly imprisoned him in an unknown location, but Chris’s stunted writing ability, laziness and ad-hoc manner of storytelling, indicates that Chris simply left Bob out of the comics.<br />
<br />
== Geography and location ==<br />
<br />
[[File:CWCville's zip code.png |thumb|CWCville's zip code, prior to the [[Idea Guy]] Saga.]]<br />
<br />
CWCville began life as an infill city somewhere within the state of [[Virginia]],<ref>''[[Sonichu #3]]'', [[Sub-Episode 4]], page 4.</ref> but it became part of the larger [[C-197|C-197 dimension]] when Chris started promoting the [[Dimensional Merge]]. According to [[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]], one of the shortcut portals to CWCville was a dance mat behind the door to Chris's room.<ref>''[[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]]'', [[Episode 12.5]], page 8.</ref> Today, Chris uses so-called “[[Meditation#Third_eye|meditation]] sessions” to get there.<br />
<br />
In [[2020]], Chris narrowed the “location” of the CWCville to somewhere “north to north-east” of {{w|Fredericksburg, Virginia}}:<ref>[[Discord Q&A 10#CWCville's Sister City (and Sports Teams)|Discord Q&A 10, “CWCville's Sister City (and Sports Teams)” section]]</ref> he later placed CWCville Beach by the shore of the Potomac River, east of Fredericksburg,<ref>[https://osm.org/go/ZZYfsOAc?m= OpenStreetMap location]</ref> claiming that the city is as large as Baltimore or New York City.<ref>[[The Journey to the Merge#Pebble Beach|The Journey to the Merge, “Pebble Beach” section]]</ref> The exact locations of key CWCville places as they relate to the [[Dimension 1218|real world]], such as the [[CWCville Mall]], remain unclear.<br />
<br />
CWCville's {{w|ZIP Code}} was originally [[Chris's birthday|02024-1982]], an unused code {{w|List of ZIP Code prefixes#Starts with 0|available}} for Brockton, Massachusetts:<ref>''[[Sonichu #8]]'', [[Episode 17]], page 1.</ref> the correct ZIP code (at least during the infill era) would have started with 22, like [[Ruckersville]] (22968). Chris has changed the ZIP Code twice in [[2017]], as if it was possible through <s>dictatorial</s> mayoral decree:<ref>In reality, US law has several conditions for a town to change its ZIP Code.</ref> On 7 October the ZIP code was 16429, an unused code available for the vicinity of Erie, Pennsylvania, but a real ''[[Spanish|Mexican]]'' postal code for Tejomulco, a neighborhood in Mexico City.<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#CWCville's zip code|October 2017 Facebook posts § CWCville's zip code]]</ref> On 19 November the ZIP Code changed to 69488, raising suspicions that the [[Idea Guys]] (who were active around the time) may be responsible: 69488 is the postal code for {{w|Birkenau (Odenwald)|Birkenau}} in Germany, which shares its name with the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp.<br />
<br />
; Variations from the canon<br />
<br />
There was an exception in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], which had a map that placed CWCville near Pallet Town and Giovanni's Gym in Viridian City, featured in the ''[[Pokémon]]'' series and located in Kanto, an area based on the {{w|Kantō region}} in Japan. The map also placed CWCville near {{w|Sonic Adventure#Gameplay|Station Square}}, from Sonic the Hedgehog's world.<ref>''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]'', [[Episode 5]], page 12.</ref><br />
<br />
==Government and politics==<br />
[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Note how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]]. Also observe that Chris [[Obesity|needs an arrow]] [[Chris and his Ego|pointing to himself]]]]<br />
<br />
CWCville is in theory part of the [[United States of America]], but in practice it seems to be a quasi-independent city-state, similar to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piEayQ0T-qA Hong Kong or Macau] in [[China]]. The city does not follow American electoral law, uses its own currency, and has several characteristics anathema to [[United States of America|U.S. ideals]]. The city seems more like the private domain of the Mayor than part of a larger federation.<br />
<br />
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked.]]<br />
[[File:Riots_in_cwcville_SB.jpg|thumb|An artist's representation of a riot in CWCville. [[August 2020 social media posts#Very Distant alt-timeline|Chris did not approve.]]]]<br />
<br />
The Mayor attempts to refute accusations of dictatorship, (incorrectly<ref>*The {{w|Assad family|Assad dynasty}} in Syria<br/>*The {{w|Jean-Claude Duvalier|Duvalier}} {{w|François Duvalier|dynasty}} in Haiti<br/>*The {{w|Laurent-Désiré Kabila|Kabila}} {{w|Joseph Kabila|dynasty}} in the Democratic Republic of Congo<br/>*The {{w|Kim dynasty (North Korea)|Kim dynasty}} in North Korea<br/>The {{w|Pahlavi dynasty}} in Iran<br/></ref>) claiming that dictatorships are never hereditary, while he [[Mailbag 34#Apparently North Korea's not a dictatorship|inherited the town from his father]].<br />
<br />
[[File:SchuComic10P78.jpg|thumb|left|The Mayor addresses his people (DP [[Nazis|Leni Riefenstahl]], 1935, colorized).]]<br />
<br />
Contrary to what Chris may believe, a self-proclaimed police force doesn't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random. [[Mary Lee Walsh|The dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Sonichu (comic)|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, while possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was [[Chris's Big Night Out|rescinded]]. Laws have been enacted to persecute [[homosexuals]], and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies in the face of the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to oversee or contest an official with the capability of ultra-human powers, it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the comic|immunity from prosecution]].<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]</ref> This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this quality of CWCville is in fact the hallmark of all police states. It must be reiterated that Chris genuinely believes that CWCville is a good place to live.<br />
<br />
Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remained at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].<br />
<br />
CWCville's court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, deposed, and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] and [[Manajerks]] are deposed, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] was murdered by a Voltorb, four people — [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], Sean, and [[Mao]] — are arrested and subjected to a show trial less than a week later, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the Mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds to the charges, considering slander via the [[Asperpedia]] (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is in actuality a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using [[Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan's]] psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in cruel and inhumane ways.<br />
<br />
CWCville also pays for the [[TrollBusters]]' private jet,<ref name="Jackie Chat #3">[[Jackie Chat 3|Jackie Chat #3]]</ref> and the Mayor's hedgehog friends receive free housing, credit cards and other gifts from his office, not unlike Soviet nomenklatura.<br />
<br />
[[File:Mayor signer.png|thumb|200px|Charlottesville's Mayor Signer, also opposed to Pmurt.]]<br />
<br />
In [[February 2017]], prompted by President [[Pmurt]], Chris declared CWCville to be a sanctuary city,<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#CWCville is a sanctuary city]]</ref> [[Things Chris has ripped off|mirroring a proposal by Charlottesville's real-life mayor]]. He also suggested that CWCville does not recognize Trump as president at all, lending further credence to the theory that CWCville is not actually part of the United States. Strangely, he claims that Vladimir Putin, the real-life president of Russia, is the president of the United states.<br />
<br />
Between his Facebook posts and new issues of ''Sonichu'', Chris has revealed significant changes to CWCville since [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], showing that during the hiatus of [[Sonichu 11]], he had simply continued his fantasy/coping mechanism in his [[autism|mind]].<br />
<br />
*Chris is no longer the mayor. [[Allison Amber]], formerly the mayor's secretary, took up the role. The circumstances of Chris's resignation are unclear, and it is unknown whether Amber was elected or if CWCville remains a dictatorship.<br />
<br />
*Chris gave himself the position of the city's [[Ego|creator]] instead, since holding the imaginary responsibilities of a small-town mayor is [[stress|too much]] for him. Of course, his new position still earns Chris VIP treatment from the townspeople.<br />
<br />
*The city has become ''even more'' of a police-state, with [[Magi-Chan]] reading the minds of the populace to determine if anybody poses a threat. Ironically, this solution is far more extreme than anything President Trump has done, including his executive order to shut down entry from select countries, which Chris has criticized.<br />
<br />
*On the other hand, [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] shows CWCville celebrating its [[SLGBTQ]] pride festival, indicating a reversal of Chris's long-standing homophobia and possibly a continuation of Chris's repeal-by-fiat in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] of the city's anti-gay legislation.<br />
<br />
===Elections===<br />
According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government was a "King/Queen thing" for which there is no voting.<ref>[[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails]]</ref> The non-elected leader does what he pleases as Mayor-for-Life with supreme power, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the CWCville Trade Center Building.<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> The right to vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]] (though [[Women's rights|apparently not to women]], as some women are seen [[Sonichu 8#Episode_17:_Epilogue|protesting]] in order to gain suffrage in CWCville). Despite allowing elections for Board of Director Members,<ref>[[Mailbag 37|Mailbag #37]]</ref> Chris shows that they still hold no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the Mayor is not obligated to listen to. For example, he does not discuss attacking the [[4-cent garbage.com]] building with them, he just tells them the "game plan" as a ''fait accompli''. In all, CWCVille's government more resembles an absolute monarchy or the Roman Republic under Caesar than any American polity.<br />
<br />
Chris originally planned to hand over the role of Mayor to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his sister Crystal]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]],<ref>[[Miyamoto_Saga#From_Chris_to_Miyamoto]]</ref> but later decided not to. On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS was the new Mayor of CWCville. The next day, Chris revoked his edict that made MAYS the new Mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]]. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST, his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS was still the Mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS died in his mayoral mansion, allegedly due to a cocaine overdose, but the hand of Chandler was suspected. The city was plunged into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a [[Chris chan Discusses|post-coup interview]] that {{w|Doublethink|he was always the ruler}} and that there would be no further elections.<br />
<br />
However, Chris eventually lost interest in being the mayor. By some point prior to 2017, he handed over the role to [[Allison Amber]].<br />
<br />
[[File:CWCville mayor Brendan Frasier.png|thumb|200px|CWCville's mayor, 2017 - 2021.]]<br />
<br />
In November 2017, an [[Idea Guy]] tricked Chris into believing that an election was to take place, with several candidates running.<ref>[[November 2017 tweets#CWCville_mayoral_election]]</ref> He created a poll on Twitter for people to vote for the new mayor. The candidates were:<br />
<br />
*[[Brendan Fraser]] - An American actor known for his role in the ''Mummy'' movies, who became a meme due to his career decline and heavy alimony payments ([https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/brendan-frasers-alimony-just-fuck-my-shit-up link])<br />
*[[Mao|Mao Zedong]] - communist leader of [[China]] between 1949 and 1976<br />
*[[Allison Amber]] - then mayor of CWCville, formerly Chris's secretary<br />
*{{w|Augusto Pinochet}} - Chilean dictator from 1973 to 1990<br />
*{{w|Vladimir Putin}} - Current President of Russia<br />
<br />
A few hours later, he deleted his poll and created a new one, claiming some of the candidates had dropped out. His new candidates were:<br />
<br />
*Bob McKendrick - A character from the video game ''PAYDAY 2'', who tried running for mayor of the DC Metro area<br />
*Vladimir Putin<br />
*Brendan Fraser<br />
<br />
He later deleted this poll as well. Brendan Fraser won the election and took office as mayor.<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts#Jamsta molested Punchy]]</ref><br />
<br />
Two days later he posted on Twitter that an election for new Chief of CWCville Police Department would take place. His candidates were<ref>[[November 2017 tweets#CWCville_Chief_of_Police_election]]</ref>:<br />
<br />
*[[Wikipedia:Manuel Pardo (serial killer)|Manuel Pardo Jr]] - a [[jerkop]] and serial killer executed in 2012<br />
*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br />
*{{w|Manuel Noreiga|Man-Ewell Noriega}} [''sic''] - Dictator of Panama from 1983 to 1989<br />
*{{w|Ed Gein|Edward Geen}} [''sic''] - A notorious murderer and body snatcher who was known as the real American Psycho.<br />
<br />
Ian Brandon Anderson ended up winning with 65% of the votes.<br />
<br />
In April 2021, Chris stated the current mayor to be [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[April 2021 social media posts#Twilight Sparkle and CWCVille]]</ref> While in jail, Chris said that Walsh remained mayor: ''"Who has Time for Elections when us Goddesses Defend Cwcville (The City Of) from Rei freaking Ryghts, Eggman, Bowser, Giovanni, and so-on on occassion, and we have the Dimension Merge Completed and the Collective Shift in Progress, then we have my Second Coming on 1218 Earth. Not to Mention the Damage Control and Prevention that are beyond Non(Super)-Powerful Individuals' Control, anyway."''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Prison Camps===<br />
{{Main|Operation BARBarossa}}<br />
<br />
As of November 2017, CWCville also houses multiple prison camps on the outskirts, where enemies from the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|Gamindustri]] war are sent to be reformed.<br />
<br />
==Economy==<br />
<br />
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over: the [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are named after the Mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the Mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. [[Tobacky|Tobacco]], unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry, which by all reasonable analysis, means it is very likely one of the single most-smuggled contraband items into CWCville writ large, fetching black marketeers windfall profits.<br />
<br />
As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], ten homeless shelters have been set up: Chris himself claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house a population of 900-1,800 indigents, and come equipped with free cable TV.<ref>[[Mailbag 20|Mailbag #20]]</ref> This means that the small city of CWCville has a homeless population of at least 10,000 (in comparison, the entire nation of Japan has just over 6,000<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_homeless_population</ref>). The Mayor's personal friends, such as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. He also supplied furniture for [[Wild Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Episode 19]], Page 21</ref><br />
<br />
Strangely enough, Sonichu and Rosechu, both being too lazy to work, get $3,500 per month, (as shown in [[Mailbag 21]]), which is unusually a large sum of [[Chris and money|money]] for a [[monthly tugboat]]. This, also coupled with the unusually high homelessness rate, could tell us that CWCville possibly severely overtaxes its citizens to feed its [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|delusional, power-hungry dictator's]] multiple [[Dating Education|vanity]] [[TrollBusters|projects]].<br />
<br />
Chris claims that the city has "a lot of [[Kevin the Jew|jews]] and [[Inos|immigrants]], like new york," and is on the stock exchange.<ref name="Jackie Chat #3"/><br />
<br />
=== Currency ===<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|CWCville currency]]<br />
<br />
CWCville also mints its own currency, the '''CWCville quarter'''. It first came to prominence in ''[[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]'', and comes in only two coins: the C-Quarter and the W-Quarter. Ten C-Quarters make one W-Quarter, indicating that Chris has [[Honor roll|no idea what "quarter" means]]. The W-Quarter is round and golden in color, with a silver edge and a red "W", while the C-Quarter is C-shaped and sky blue with a silver edge. Both appear to reference Chris's publishing house logo at the time, which notably appeared on the [[CWCipedia]]. CWCville still issue fines in US dollars for unknown reasons: most likely, to shore up foreign <s>currency reserves</s> spending money for a tottering dictatorship.<br />
<br />
According to Chris on 19 November 2019,<ref>[https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1196903997300498434 Tweet] by @CPU_CWCSonichu, on 19 November 2019.</ref> and assuming that {{w|SIX Interbank Clearing}} chooses the W-Quarter as the main currency unit, the official exchange rate is {{abbr|CWQ|CWCville quarter}} 1 = {{w|US Dollar|{{abbr|USD|US Dollar}}}} 2.50,<ref>CW is actually the country code for Curaçao, and the currency code is merely for demonstration purposes.</ref> which puts the CWCville quarter only behind {{w|Kuwaiti dinar|Kuwait}}, {{w|Bahraini dinar|Bahrain}} and {{w|Omani rial|Oman}} in terms of purchasing power.<ref>[https://www.xe.com/currencytables/?from=USD&date=2020-01-01 XE.com exchange rates] for 1 January 2020 ([https://web.archive.org/web/20200410043434/https://www.xe.com/currencytables/?from=USD&date=2020-01-01 archived] on 10 April 2020).</ref> In reality, the irrational command economy and the ongoing [[Financhu Crisis|debt crisis]] in real-life means that the parallel (black market) rates may command a huge discount… {{w|Hungarian pengő#End of the pengő|something like}} {{abbr|USD|US Dollar}} 1 = {{abbr|CWQ|CWCville quarter}} 4×10<sup>29</sup>.<br />
<br />
== The Invasion of CWCville ==<br />
{{main|Sonichu 13}}<br />
[[File:IdeaGuyMap.jpeg|thumb|A map created by [[Idea Guy]] Joshua Wise]].<br />
After years of insanity and borderline totalitarianism, things finally seemed to be improving for the citizens of CWCville. Chris had stepped down as mayor, Magi-Chan was no longer spying on the populace due to his duties as Chris' husband, and beloved American film actor [[Brendan Fraser]] was elected as Chris' successor, ensuring CWvCille would no longer be an ego-driven police state and would also be protected from evil mummies. Under Fraser's benevolent rule, it seemed like CWCville would finally be a free and happy place. Unfortunately, this newfound peace and prosperity would not last long, due to the corruptions of the Idea Guys and their ween ideas. The Idea Guys convinced Chris that CWCville was under attack by various different villains and factions, placing it in a frenzied state of war. First invaded by villains from Hyperdimension Neptunia, the invaders were quickly beaten back and put into CWCville's newly established prison camps.<br />
<br />
Later, the city was invaded by the neighboring nation of Australatina. The Australatinas managed to wipe out most of CWCville's military, who were forced to fight a war on two fronts when the city erupted into mass riots. The Underground tunnels beneath CWCville (presumably created by Simonla who didn't want to ride the fucking bus like a normal person) collapsed, causing mass devastation and splitting the city into two sides: East and West. The Australatinas then pledged their loyalty to invading Nazis, who began ethically cleansing CWCville. They successfully captured most of Chris' hedgehog Pokemon and wiped out most of the wild Pokemon around CWCville. Chris' characters were brutally executed but quickly respawned. The female Sonichus were all raped and impregnated until they were freed by Chris. The Nazis were finally beaten back and the city was rebuilt.<br />
<br />
Despite all of their reckless bumbling, the Idea Guys managed to do something no one could ever imagine was possible: make CWCville an even worse shithole. Sure, under Chris' reign the city was a manchild's playground escape fantasy with Orwellian undertones, but at least you could get a job at Taco Bell and live a reasonably peaceful life if you didn't smoke or call the mayor a tard. Once the Idea Guys took over, the city became a living hell filled with constant death and destruction with forced labor, rape, and death camps. The lesson is simple: being ruled by a bumbling and incompetent but well-meaning manchild might be bad, but being ruled by murderous nazis is at least moderately worse.<br />
<br />
== CWCville's Restoration ==<br />
Chris has been rather inconsistent with what parts of Sonichu 13 were actually canon and which parts he discarded. Regardless, the city was restored to its Pre-War state and all the nightmarish changes were reversed. Presumably, the timeline was fixed and all the characters returned to their normal lives, and [[Brendan Fraser]] was still the mayor, with Ian Brandon Anderson serving as his Chief of Police.<br />
<br />
With the Nazis, evil CPUs and reality-warping demons all defeated and a fantastic actor once again leading the city, CWCville has presumably finally become a somewhat decent place, even if everything there is ass-backwards and totally absurd. Chris has written very little about CWCville following the events of Issue 13. However, Chris claimed that he attended Babscon there in 2020. CWCville, and presumably all of Dimension C-197 was totally unaffected by the COVID-19 pandemic.<br />
<br />
== Twin towns ==<br />
<br />
[[File:1920px-2008-0830-Charlottesville-DowntownMall.jpg|thumb|left|CWCville, as portrayed by Chris in his videos.]]<br />
<br />
CWCville appears to be twinned with [[Charlottesville, Virginia]], the largest and most familiar urban environment in Chris's life. <br />
<br />
Chris has made many connections between the two cities, mainly as a result of his narrow perception of the outside world: for example, Chris presented footage of Charlottesville as that of CWCville,<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> while CWCville hosts the Dogwood Festival, which is an Charlottesville tradition.<ref name=p32/> Chris also stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes"; as if Chicago, Cincinnati, Colorado Springs, Corpus Christi, [[Ohio trip|Columbus or Cleveland]], for example, were so much less important than it.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:EmperorChris.png|How Chris sees himself as CWCville's ruler.<br />
Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved Mayor.<br />
Image:Big-brother-is-watching-you-94815124855.png|The future of CWCville. <br />
Image:0858-Cwcville7.JPG|The great <strike>dictator</strike> director on his throne.<br />
Image:CWCville Degeneration.jpg|An artist's depiction of CWCville will look like once Chris passes away and it is forgotten.<br />
Image:3adc9ab34027a8ea714b6570897088e8-png.jpg|City map, with aerial photo recreation below.<br />
Image:Cwcville_Map_Version_3.png|Alternate city map, showing the rural areas around the city and how it connects to other areas.<br />
File:Chris_ruling_cwcville_SB.jpg|Chris ruling as mayor of CWCville.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWCville Tour Video<br />
| ytid = bbHypp3ziBQ<br />
| maker = MycalFelps<br />
| stardate = 11 [[May 2010]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]<br />
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://web.archive.org/web/20130210092136/http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCville Chronicles] (archive from 10 Feb 2013)<br />
<br />
{{CWCverse}}<br />
{{Mayors of CWCville}}<br />
{{Fantasies}}<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]<br />
[[Category:Fictional places]]<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_his_ego&diff=300204Chris and his ego2022-12-05T01:21:14Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Manifestations */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Dated|[[Prison communications]]}}<br />
{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]].}}<br />
{{quote|WELL, PRIDE IS NOT A SIN, FOR ONE NEEDS SOME SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE TO MOTIVATE THEMSELVES AND INSPIRE OTHERS WITH SOUL AND HEART.|CPU Blue Heart distinguishing "pride" from "arrogance", ignoring that "pride" can have both a positive and negative connotation.<ref>[[:File:JailArt17.jpg]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|A perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]<br />
<br />
'''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of [[Chris and his personality|Chris's flaws]]. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.<br />
<br />
[[File:ChrisSlimeComicP2.jpg|Chris strokes his ego by having two of [[Ben Saint]]'s characters admire him.|thumb|250px]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''Egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of a beloved wife, children, and home).]]<br />
<br />
==Origins==<br />
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Raspberry Swirl|Tori Amos]]}}<br />
<br />
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|shift blame for all of his troubles]] to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris and reality#In the Real World|He grew up in a different world.]]<br />
<br />
But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. His paternal half-siblings managed to acquire doctorate degrees, becoming an eye doctor and a math expert respectively. They were able to develop and learn from the past.<br />
<br />
Chris's development isn't just delayed – it is arrested. His {{w|egocentrism}} has persisted well into his thirties when most children usually grow out of it around age seven. Autism isn't to blame entirely; while autistic people's idiosyncrasies can make them appear self-centered on the surface, only a few are self-absorbed. Most still have interest in others, and many get help to develop coping strategies and social skills. Not Chris, though. <br />
<br />
Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him.]]<br />
<br />
===The enablers===<br />
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A.]]<br />
{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}<br />
<br />
Chris's parents are [[enablers]] ''par excellence''. Barring unrelated catastrophes, there is no earthly reason why a grown adult in his thirties should live at home with his parents without even helping them out, let alone getting a job. Autism isn't an excuse, especially when Chris's autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-minds|high functioning]]" as his activity exemplifies it to be. Adults with far more crippling psychiatric problems, from personality disorders to schizophrenia, live far more independently than Chris does. Even people who suffer from an {{w|intellectual disability}} (who would be called "retarded" in yesterday's parlance) can still often find work and live much more independently than Chris. Chris isn't one of those people at all; he can talk, read, write, and work a computer. <br />
<br />
The [[1990s]] are long gone; we don't need to constantly clarify that autistic people can be bright or successful. [[Bob]] may have missed that memo, mistakenly believing that a modern special education program would be the same as an old-fashioned mental institution, rife with padded cells, straitjackets, electric shocks, and routine frontal lobotomies. This has led the family to push a [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|conspiracy theory against his school district,]] and Bob fled the [[Charlottesville]] area with Chris until he graduated from high school. <br />
<br />
For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.<br />
<br />
Speaking of education, it can also be said the school system was yet another enabler in Chris's formative years. This was especially true at [[Manchester High]], [[Manchester High Leaks|where Chris received passing grades on schoolwork he didn't do correctly]] yet still eventually graduated on [[honor roll]] (or so he says), presumably out of excessive pity on the teachers' part. Were that indeed the case, it might have encouraged Chris to put in less than half-baked effort into things and yet act like the end result is something spectacular.<br />
<br />
===Monthly tugboat===<br />
{{Main|Monthly Tugboat}}<br />
{{Main|Chris and money}}<br />
{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}} <br />
<br />
Chris receives disability insurance from the government; a "[[monthly tugboat]]" as he calls it. Although it's intended to supplement income from a menial [[Chris and work|job]], such as a [[Wendy's|fast food joint]], Chris uses this check as his sole income. He is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[vidya]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]<br />
<br />
People have made a wide variety of political arguments for and against the tugboat. Some argue that Chris is abusing the welfare system. Others state that he deserves his check. Still others claim that his parents abused the system by proxy, or that the system itself is flawed. '''But these arguments are besides the point.''' Regardless of whether or not he ''should'' have the tugboat, it '''is''' an undeniable factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.<br />
<br />
===The Information Superhighway===<br />
{{Main|Chris and the Internet|Computers}}<br />
<br />
A member of the {{w|Oregon Trail generation}}, Chris has made many significant memories before 1991, when the {{w|World Wide Web}} made Internet access feasible for the masses<ref>"World Wide Web" and "Internet" are often used interchangeably, but they are different services. The Internet is a network and protocol for connecting computers, dating back to the 1960's. The Web ''uses'' the Internet to transfer resources such as documents via URL's, invented in 1991. [[How To Talk To Girls|One is the magnet, and the other is the metal]].</ref>. However, he would use the Internet regularly by the time he left [[high school]]. Born in [[1982]], he came of age in [[2000]], placing his childhood in a different millennium from his adulthood. Windows XP came out soon after, and with it came a multitude of "prosumer" creative programs, giving Chris something to do after kissing his [[Gal-Pals]] goodbye. <br />
<br />
Chris could record and share his own [[music]], publish his comics online, and even create his own [[DVD]]. These services were previously reserved for professionals who had access to expensive studio equipment, but they were now in the hands of the masses. Later in the decade, Chris became involved with [[YouTube]] and [[Facebook]], providing even more venues for self-publication. He no longer needed to wait for the [[Chris in the media|news media]] to notice him; he could ''be'' the media! <br />
<br />
Chris joined YouTube much earlier than many more respected web-celebs, during a time when most people saw it as a silly cat video website, not a career. But remember: this was Chris's closest brush with fame since the [[PokeNews]].<br />
<br />
===Blind luck and the cherry-picking fallacy===<br />
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up.]]<br />
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]<br />
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park.]]<br />
<br />
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|9-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego. <br />
<br />
Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel, partially because he doesn't have much else to do. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:<br />
<br />
:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."<br />
<br />
Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}}<br /><br />
<br />
[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, to become a true media sensation.<br />
<br />
On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.<br />
<br />
===Big fish, small pond===<br />
<br />
Chris is a small town [[transgender|girl]], living in a [[Saddest Heart in the World|lonely world]].<br />
<br />
Let's take a look at the cities of his life: <br />
<br />
* [[Ruckersville]] is such a tiny place that it only has one other notable resident: NASCAR driver Philip Morris, who is no Jeff Gordon or Danica Patrick. <br />
* The neighboring city of [[Charlottesville]] is mostly relevant for [[UVA]], the Monticello, and a handful of political rallies. It is a historic town, but it still has a small-town feel. It offers suburban conveniences like public parks, movie theaters, and a multitude of strip malls, but it lacks the hallmarks of a big city.<br />
* Chris's teenage environment, suburban [[Richmond]], is much more robust. However, Chris had a very sheltered adolescence and experienced little of what growing up in a large metropolitan area usually entails. Richmond also suffers from being far from any other major cities (except for Washington, DC).<br />
<br />
Chris rarely visits big cities that would quickly humble him. He lives in a very isolated world—his hometown has a smaller population than some high schools, and it isn't really known for up-and-coming artists. His main frame of reference was his classmates. Many of them took art as an elective, without any plans of becoming professionals.<br />
<br />
Additionally, him "succeeding in spite of his [[autism]]" might have only been relevant because the smaller school population made him one of the few autistic kids in class. In reality, autism is a fairly common condition that's more-often-than-not quite manageable with the right help and support, and many autistic kids grow up to be successful autistic adults. <br />
<br />
Despite not being conventionally popular, Chris peaked in [[high school]]. He bases most of his merit on his various HS accomplishments, and he talks about the time as if it were the time of his life. He considers himself bilingual because he took [[Spanish]]. He takes pride in the fact that his school displayed his work publicly, even though schools do that all the time. Chris's [[Comic Chris|comic book incarnation]] bears a strong resemblance to his high school self. Comic Chris doesn't wear [[glasses]] (the real Chris didn't wear them until 1998), and he's in good shape (much like HS Chris, likely because of gym class). Chris would often bring up his placement on the [[Honor Roll]] as proof of his intelligence, and his mental health would sharply decline after graduation. <br />
<br />
Chris has taken his big fish mentality out of his small pond and transferred it to the large ocean of the [[Internet]], not knowing that it's filled with much larger [[trolls|sharks]].<br />
<br />
[[Catherine]] suggested that Chris ought to move to a place like San Francisco or Seattle, or anywhere outside suburban Virginia. She told him that these places are more LGBT-friendly and have more job prospects. She also noted that these West Coast cities have higher minimum wages and more robust benefit and rehabilitation programs for autistic folks. She had several major points, but Chris just told her "but there's no San Francisco in Virginia," completely missing all of them. Wanting to have his cake and eat it too, Chris chooses to stay in his small-town Southeastern bubble because it's easier for him, yet he would clearly benefit from living in a more developed, liberal-minded area.<br />
<br />
In the same conversation, Chris stated the real reason for not leaving is that he doesn't want to leave his mother behind, since she is already on bad terms with [[Cole Smithey|her other adult child]]. Chris didn't consider that his Aunt Harriet could take Barb in, or that she could use her retirement insurance to live in an old folks' home. Chris even brought up that he doesn't want to move out of state after Barb dies.<ref>[[Catherine#The bowling outing]]</ref> <br />
<br />
Chris did acknowledge the perks of moving out of his valley, but it's only logical for him to move out. What is a person obsessed with fame and art doing in a place known for neither? Why does a loud-and-proud bisexual trans woman want to live in a place where most residents are anti-trans? Why does the world's most documented autistic person want to live in an area that, by his own admission, doesn't understand autistic people? And why does someone who desperately wants a compatible partner limit himself to a tiny dating pool and then resort to long-distance troll dating, when there probably ''is'' someone for him in the Los Angeles area? And why, just why, does Chris want to treat his [[14 Branchland Court|dwelling]] as a temple for all to flock to, when it's so remote that Google Street View still doesn't cover it?<ref>Street view last checked 9 June 2021</ref> <br />
<br />
Because it's easy to be a big fish in a small pond, even after pissing off the other fish and getting [[banned]] from your favorite hangouts. <br />
<br />
Self-aggrandizing is fairly common in the family, and they can generally get away with it because of the small-town mentality. Chris's family loves to bring up [[Bob]]'s injection molding patent. He claims that we wouldn't even have a simple water bottle without it. In reality, {{w|plastic injection molding}} was invented before Bob was born. The Wikipedia article doesn't even mention Bob. All he designed was a control panel for one specific machine. If Bob didn't design it, [[Asperchu|someone else would have]]. Even Cole Smithey, who managed to escape the Weston-Chandler household as a young adult and go on to have a fairly successful career, bills himself as "The smartest film critic in the world".<br />
<br />
==Chris and narcissism==<br />
{{quote|I, was mistaken, but not wrong|Chris<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Mistaken_about_being_linked_with_Uzume</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A [[TRUE and HONEST]] depiction of narcissism.]]<br />
<br />
It's unlikely that Chris actually suffers from {{w|narcissistic personality disorder}} (although [[Barbara Chandler|it's likely that someone else in his family]] does). While extreme self-centeredness and egotism is often conflated with the term 'Narcissism', NPD is also an existing mental condition characterized by more factors, such as emotional manipulation or split personalities for different people. Given the fact that Chris himself is too stupid to actually emotionally manipulate anyone, let alone [[Chris and manipulation|not get manipulated himself,]] Chris most likely isn't a narcissist in the real sense. However, it's possible that Barbara, who did employ plenty of abusive NPD-like traits such as suicide-baiting, might have influenced Chris's behavior in some ways. Chris actually mentioned, in a theatrical manner, considering suicide on his facebook posts several times, [[June 2014 Facebook Posts#And It Begins...|even for something as inconsequential as]][[Sonic Boom protests| his crusade against BLARMS]]. Another noticeable aspect is Chris's need to shove his own name, initials and [[Sonichu (character)|creations]] every chance he gets, specially other people's works, if it guarantees fame.<br />
<br />
That said, while a lot of factors like his relentless attention-whoring or his lack of empathy coincide with symptoms of the Disorder, factors of his ego were mostly results of his shitty upbringing and awful luck for winning contests giving him a huge sense of self-importance. Not to mention [[Chris and kindness|his lack of empathy for others]] was also partly caused by his autism. If Chris really had NPD, he likely has a[[Slow in the minds| low functioning]] variant of the disorder, and it may be hard to delineate his potential NPD symptoms from established ASD ones. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]<br />
<br />
==Manifestations==<br />
<br />
Chris's egotism manifests itself in a variety of ways.<br />
<br />
===Unwarranted self-importance===<br />
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]<br />
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}<br />
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]].}}<br />
<br />
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other [[Unholy Quintet|laughed-at-not-with dumbass]] on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]".<br />
<br />
But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref><br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:<br />
<br />
*I will never hang notes on the wall again.<br />
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.<br />
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0&#61;No Respect...10&#61;Respect).<br />
<br />
Please reply via E-Mail.<br />
<br />
Christian C.}}<br />
<br />
E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:<br />
<br />
{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}<br />
<br />
It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> <br />
<br />
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}<br />
<br />
The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I realize I am famous like a princess|Chris on Twitter in October 2017}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Notable resident in Ruckersville, VA alongside a NASCAR racer, and about the 29,000th most popular individual in this world, so where is the Wikipedia Article about me? ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris on Twitter in August 2018}}<br />
<br />
He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was a waterboy.<br />
<br />
But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on [[eBay]]. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.<br />
<br />
===Fixation on self-image===<br />
<br />
Chris has created many avatars of himself through several mediums.<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:CWCPOGS.jpeg|As pogs.<br />
File:Comic CWC.PNG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]].<br />
File:Chris Lego.jpg|As a Lego figure.<br />
File:ThreePieceSetA.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christian.<br />
File:ThreePieceSetC.jpg|''Super Smash Bros.'' avatar for Christine.<br />
File:AmiiboSet.jpg|As [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]]. From left to right, Christian, Chris-chan Sonichu, Christine. Chris sold these through [[Etsy]].<br />
File:Lego Christines.png|Another Lego figure of his 2015 [[Tomgirl]] self.<br />
File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|[[Christine Doll]], pictured on left.<br />
File:Chris skylanders avatar.jpg|''Skylanders'' avatar.<br />
File:Skylanders swag.png|A shirt, card and 3D figure of his ''Skylanders'' avatar, costing him $90 from the company.<br />
File:Cwc transformer1.jpg|As a Transformer.<br />
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg |As a ''[[My Little Pony|MLP]]'' character.<br />
File:Christine Night Weston Star Chandler.jpg|It's just getting ridiculous.<br />
File:Chris, Night Star Equestria Girls Mini dolls3.jpg|Christine Doll 2.0, next to Night Star, both blatant self-inserts.<br />
File:ChrisFunkos.jpg|As Funkos.<br />
File:Chris's ego, TSSSF card.jpg|As a [[TSSSF]] card featuring many of his self-inserts.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
===Persecution complex===<br />
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint Christian the Martyr, [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|walking through the valley of the shadow of death]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.<br />
<br />
And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}<br />
<br />
It doesn't help that he's engaged in a [[Family Guy|quagmire]] of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]-violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]].}}<br />
<br />
In a [[100 2178|May 8 video]], Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life -- from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] to becoming the social outcast that we all know and tolerate -- thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].<br />
<br />
===Naïveté===<br />
{{Main|Naïve}}<br />
<br />
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're with him or you're against him. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger's syndrome]] and autism, denies that there are any shortcomings in his work, and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.<br />
<br />
Chris equates honesty with [[Honest Content|divulging every last detail about his life]]. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number, and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.<br />
<br />
His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening his identity. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris's gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would've told if we'd end up seeing Chris [[cosplay]]ing or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. Unfortunately, though, it appears to not have happened. It's pretty obvious that Chris had only done this because he believed that he would score with Jackie sooner or later.<br />
<br />
In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an [[Patti|animal]]. Eventually, to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.<br />
<br />
===Hubris: the pride before the fall===<br />
[[File:Mother's day 2018 2.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a bit of a narcissist.]]<br />
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}<br />
<br />
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[She Came for CWC|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].<br />
<br />
And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and Mary Lee Walsh to have some sort of horror befall them.<br />
<br />
But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?<br />
<br />
{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]] not realizing that public schools display students' art all the time.}}<br />
<br />
Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?<br />
<br />
{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]<br />
<br />
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing elaborate fantasy worlds. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.<br />
<br />
Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of CWCville.<br />
<br />
Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call, it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''{{w|confirmation bias}}''. For example, Chris has decided homos are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].<br />
<br />
This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "a parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.<br />
<br />
A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4 June 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.<br />
[[File:The Captain congratulates Chris for 'providing a good service'.png|thumb|right|In [[Sonichu Special 5]], Chris found a way to twist a situation in which he was [[Guard Dogs|being helped]] into Chris himself doing the helping, ending up with him receiving praise from [[The Captain|a fictionalised version of one of the people trying to help him out]].]]<br />
A more recent example of Chris's pride and ego superseding the efforts of people around him can be seen in [[Sonichu Special 5]], in which [[The Captain]] vociferously praises Chris, flanked by [[Sonichu (character)|his]] [[Rosechu (character)|creations]] - for 'provide[ing] a good service to us all in this world', when in reality, the opposite was true; Chris had been manipulated by the Idea Guys, and The Captain, a member of the [[Guard Dogs]], was the actual person providing said services in attempting to break Chris free of their influence.<br />
<br />
===Materialism===<br />
{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}<br />
<br />
It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is delusional. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting money for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his tugboat than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.<br />
<br />
This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents, especially Barb.<br />
<br />
===Tender misanthropy===<br />
<br />
A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].<br />
<br />
Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats homos, seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also support this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.<br />
<br />
===Disregard of rules of conduct online===<br />
{{Main|Chris and the Internet}}<br />
{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]].}}<br />
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Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place). His Facebook account encountered a cycle in [[July 2015]] where it would be removed and put back up again; some of Chris's post contained sexual content, such as photos of lizards in amplexus, thumbnails of tribadism, screenshots of sexting, and a drawing in which he was drenched in lemonade through a china-shaped lemon--his description for the picture ''bragged'' about how [[JERKS]] would be offended by it.<br />
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===Surrendering Information===<br />
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If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is this entire wiki, which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a 'true and loyal fanbase', and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. His enthusiastic revelation of his own [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] is the shining example of this.<br />
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Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity]], he couldn't help but announce it on his Facebook page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] result of his Sweetheart Search), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Sure enough, in December 2014, a leaked account of Chris's experience with the hooker was released on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He just never learns.<br />
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In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post, in particular, revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "JERK." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''<br />
<br />
The next year, Chris encountered a man trying to put out a brush fire near his house. However, he believed he was trying to make it even worse, and thus uploaded the [[Brushfire Video]], wherein he wound up dropping the address of the [[Rental House]] in the video title.<br />
<br />
In 2021, this would eventually prove to be Chris' ultimate downfall. In late [[July 2021]], Chris told [[Bella]] that he had [[Affair with Mother|sexual intercourse with Barbara Chandler, his own ''mother'']], even going so far as to describe the acts in [[Honest Content|uncomfortably graphic detail]]. One would think that Chris, [[Chris and reality|being in the highly delusional state that he was in at the time]], could have easily been dismissed here, ''until'' he confirmed that it was all true when pressed for the truth by [[Dillin Thomas]]. As a consequence, many horrified listeners immediately contacted law enforcement, as incest is a Class 5 Felony in Virginia; and to say nothing of the theoretical [[Chris and sex#Rape|rape]] charge that might go with it, due to Barb's possible dementia and possible unwillingness to have sex with her own son. Even more consequences would follow: Chris was removed from his home via an Emergency Protective Order and became the center of a humongous media circus that even had [[Ween|weens]] tracking him down in real-life, resulting in his eventual arrest on stream on the 1 August 2021.<br />
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===Fishing for sympathy===<br />
{{quote|I... am so... smart! And yet I still have to- still learn everyth- I still n- have so much to learn.<ref>[[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content]]</ref>}}<br />
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In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is the Father Call, where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter (note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.) In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with Jackie, Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], being a hypocrite and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his Facebook entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one, in particular, lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.<br />
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The attention he gets from his mother, Barbara Chandler, and his friend, Anna McLerran is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents (notably well past the point of social acceptance), to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his [[autism|being autistic]], has poisoned Chris's mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the heavy burdens he faces daily, almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.<br />
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The habit of wanting sympathy is so ingrained in Chris that he instinctively hedges when he makes a positive statement about himself. An example is from a video in which he said, "I am so smart," and immediately followed by downplaying it and saying he still had much to learn.<br />
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==War against the ego==<br />
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One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the white knights. These misguided souls have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was TRUE and HONEST, and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|became a troll]] when she couldn't get through to Chris.<br />
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When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are video games to buy).<br />
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There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be Kacey, who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry Liquid Chris, but not before having her father point out every single thing that is wrong with Chris. A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.<br />
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==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==<br />
[[File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 9.jpg|thumb|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely.]]<br />
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}<br />
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==References==<br />
<references/><br />
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{{Chris and}}</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=300203Weening2022-12-05T00:19:40Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* What weening is NOT */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200226105210/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
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[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
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'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
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Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
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==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
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* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
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== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community by donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
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==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
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Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, making and sending him badly-made parody comics, or trying to re-hash the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid Chris Saga]] is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
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Why, you ask?<br />
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===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
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Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
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It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
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It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
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The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
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===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
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Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
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For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
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===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
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This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
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Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
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As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
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===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame,<ref group=note>This idea worked once in the right circumstances, there's no need to repeat it now, where Chris believes he's a goddess and a reincarnate of Jesus.</ref> or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
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===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Main_Page&diff=300197Main Page2022-12-04T04:32:28Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: Some minor formatting changes, so now the slogan stands out more and there's a correct space between the "Articles... and counting!" bit.</p>
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<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>and (alleged) [[Affair with Mother|literal motherfucker]].</div><br />
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[[Category:Special]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Wendy%27s&diff=300196Wendy's2022-12-04T04:28:31Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Chris the employee */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Wendy's logo.png|120px|center]]<br />
<br />
[[File:Wendys Chris 2011.jpg|thumb|250px|The branch of Wendy's at which Chris worked.]]<br />
[[File:Wendys2015.jpg|thumb|250px|Another view of the store.]]<br />
<br />
'''Wendy's''' is an [[United States of America|American]] [[Obesity|fast food]] chain that employed Chris briefly until he got fired. Chris's job primarily consisted of custodial duties instead of preparing food.<br />
<br />
Chris has contradicted himself about exactly when he worked there. He claimed in his [[Chris's resume|resumé]] that he worked at Wendy's from August to October [[2001]], but he told [[Kacey]]'s father that he was fired shortly before [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] after having been employed there for several months, implying that he started earlier than August.<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> Being let go apparently caused Chris sadness, as he expressed to Matthew. Chris likely worked at Wendy's for four to six weeks, working about 20-30 hours a week for what was probably minimum wage.<br />
<br />
==Chris the employee==<br />
Chris said that his duties consisted of "Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help".<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref> However, accounts of his employment paint him [[Chris and his ego|as a particularly stubborn and difficult employee]]. In [[2009]], Chris was asked about his time at Wendy's several times after the date with [[Emily]]. Chris believed his supervisor didn't think very highly of him for reasons upon which we can only speculate. He mentioned a time involving him getting his uniform dirty and simply continuing to wear it after trying to wash it in the bathroom sink, not taking into account the [[Chris and health#Hygiene|usual sanitation standards]] of most fast food restaurants and also not realizing he could get another, clean shirt from the supply room.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref><br />
<br />
In a [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father, Chris mentioned "[[CWC-isms#E|emotional differences]]" as the reason for his termination, and claimed that the manager had a "[[CWC-isms#S|spike on his shoulder]]" against him. It's not known what these differences were, although they were almost certainly minor differences of opinion over punctuality and performing the job duties for which he was hired.<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> According to Kacey's father, Kacey was at ground zero on [[Twin Falling Towers|September 11, 2001]] as a civilian responder, giving "BLOOD, and plasma, [and] volunteering" at the site around the time Chris was fired. Devoria was less than impressed when Chris attempted to link the two events together.<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref><br />
<br />
A chat with [[Jackie]] revealed more information about Chris's time at Wendy's. Chris talked about how a female co-worker was mean-spirited and gave him "bad times with criticisms, insults and whatnot". In reality, this could have been a co-worker simply [[White knight#Chris will reject your advice|trying to give Chris some constructive criticism]]. In the same chat, Chris also admitted that he would take frequent breaks after washing the tables and taking out the trash, [[Honor roll|not realizing that there was other stuff for him to do]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Dismissal==<br />
{{quote|You got fired from Wendy's, most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's.|[[Father Call|Matthew Devoria]]}}<br />
<br />
The circumstances of Chris's firing are unclear, as Chris has given vague and contradictory answers about the cause of his dismissal. However, a number of incidents appear to have contributed to it. The last straw appears to have been when Chris scared a small boy in the restaurant. His family were about to leave, Chris helped them by giving them their bags and a top for their baked potato boat,<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]]</ref> but then Chris performed his terrifying [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and the child cried. Chris claims that this did not scare the child – he was just tired.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]] - "No, not really scary, you see, he was tired..."</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - "But I did not make the child cry, the child was already - was just tired."</ref><br />
<br />
In a later account, he denied performing the voice when talking to [[Jackie]],<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]] - "he got his opportunity one night after watching a family with a tired child crying; I did nothing to cause him to cry, he WAS tired. And I offered to get a top for their potato so they could take it with them. [...] the manager thought I had done my Donald Duck voice for the child and made him cry, which was not the case.</ref> even though he had admitted to it in previous accounts.<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - Troll: "Well, we heard that, uh, you... We've heard so many things, like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child." Chris: "Mmm... Also, that- Also, that is correct, but I did not scare the child."</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref><br />
<br />
According to an account from [[Catherine]]'s [[Cousin Al|cousin Al]], Chris was actually fired for drawing an offensive picture depicting an older female co-worker as a [[Pokémon]].<ref>[[Catherine]] - "Chris was fired from Wendy's back in 2001 because he drew a deliberately ugly picture of an older, female co-worker as a Pokémon on a napkin."</ref> Given Chris's history of [[Mary Lee Walsh|respecting]] [[Jail Saga|his elders]], this is not surprising. <br />
<br />
At Wendy's, Chris received the only money he has ever actually earned in his life – a sum likely consisting of about $500, or nineteen days' worth of [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]]. [[Jail Saga|And as of now, it's all he will make.]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Cutco]] - Chris's only other employer.<br />
*[[Chris and work]]<br />
*[[Chris's resume]]<br />
*[[Donald Duck impersonation]]<br />
{{Places}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Places]]<br />
[[Category:Jobs]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=White-Knighting&diff=299802White-Knighting2022-11-21T04:30:10Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Protecting Chris from specific trolls does not automatically make you a "hero" in the Chris Chan saga. */</p>
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<div>{{Protip|As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better. Certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place; as this wiki evidences copiously.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|[Chris] blocked me too. We defend her, buy from her and encourage her. A truly repulsive person.|Former white knight [[David90637947]].<ref>https://twitter.com/David90637947/status/1154345242834812929</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|White knights [during the [[Miscreants]] era] were subverted. Their messages blocked, deleted before Chris could see them. If they got through, trolls would leak their conversations with Chris and accuse the helper of being the culprit.|[[Marvin]], one of Chris's former trolls.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/video-of-chris-at-lukass-house.51525/post-4134037</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's impression.]]<br />
<br />
'''White-Knighting''' is a term used to describe the act of going on [[the Internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of [[CWC is Sad|pity or compassion]], or for [[Carpetbaggers|ulterior motives]]. People who do this are often referred to as '''White-Knights'''. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the sheer volume of abuse he's taken ever since he found his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page in [[2007]].<br />
<br />
Thanks to events following from the Idea Guys, most white knights now fall into a sub-group referred to as '''Anti-Trolls''', those who try to ward other trolls and Quintet members away from Chris to have him for themselves, rather than for noble purposes. These are not to be confused with the other sub-group of White Knights, counter-trolls, who primarily fight against trolls to protect Chris, rather to troll him themselves. <br />
<br />
'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme, which is effectively gatekeeping. <br />
<br />
In the broader internet trolling community, a wide range of people, from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to Chris's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]], [[Enablers|Enabling]] and [[A-Logging]], acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris's trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], trying to get him to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know it's nigh impossible to get him to improve using the "soft touch". So when the label "white knight" gets thrown around, take it with a grain of salt. <br />
<br />
A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being a lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance, or even beyond help. Opinion on the matter is somewhat divided on whether Chris is capable of improvement, although most agree that if Chris is going to improve, it will not be in any large part due to the efforts of third parties who only interact with him over the Internet.<br />
<br />
Some believe that Chris is improving on his own, albeit slowly and in small increments, as seen in his gradual abandonment of his homophobia, which began with him declaring tolerance for lesbians, which he eventually extended to gay men. Others believe that Chris has not tangibly improved, that he has merely moved sideways, rather than forward. Many quibble over what can be defined as Chris "improving". Some have proposed that Chris improving need not necessarily mean becoming a functioning adult, which at this stage would be an uphill battle for Chris anyway. Rather, they claim that Chris is improving in that he is happier than he once was. He has found [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a new hangout]] where he stands to improve his social skills and make friends. Moreover, he has finally found a way to cash in on his e-fame, delighted his fanbase by resuming the comics ''and'' made his dreams of a Sonichu media empire a reality, albeit probably on a much smaller scale than he once envisaged.<br />
<br />
==Motives==<br />
<br />
===Pity===<br />
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.<br />
<br />
===Empathy===<br />
The internet is full of [[autistic]] people, manchildren, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his [[obesity]], his all-consuming need for female companionship, or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.<br />
<br />
===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===<br />
{{see also|Chris and manipulation}}<br />
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of {{w|Prosopagnosia}}. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. [[Emily]] played numerous real-life characters, and yet Chris fell for every one of them. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of {{w|Megan Fox}} were of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] – [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being overweight.<br />
<br />
Chris' autism also means that he thinks, and sees the world, in simplistic, binary terms; he cannot easily "read between the lines" or detect sarcasm, or practically any kind of nuance or subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as actually being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances at [[the GAMe PLACe]] exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref> It is also thought that his decision to go [[tomgirl]] was at least partially due to him taking advice to "get in touch with his feminine side" literally.<br />
<br />
===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===<br />
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of A-Logs and weens, who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who ''really'' has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?<br />
<br />
===Attention Whores===<br />
Some of these white-knights, the aforementioned anti-trolls, desperately seek attention from the community that surrounds Chris, sometimes faking their protecting of Chris. A lot like [[enablers]], these people cannot contribute anything to society and therefore will never get a Wikipedia page of their own, so the CWCki or Geno's Documentary series is the next best alternative. White Knights with attention on their mind often pretend that they are protecting Chris for noble purposes, when in actuality are trying to gain confirmation from the community through morally questionable techniques.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against white knighting==<br />
<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
<br />
===Chris is beyond your ability to help at this point===<br />
The trolls that allegedly wanted to teach Chris some unpleasant truths about life, along with previous White Knights who wanted to shield Chris from criticism while genuinely wanting to prepare him for the real world, have consistently come to the conclusion that Chris is simply incorrigible – nothing helpful that anyone says or does has actually stuck with Chris in a long-term capacity, while he is more than willing to pick up more harmful habits. Even [[Null]], the closest person who Chris had to a friend since the trolling began, and was the only advisor that Chris would actually listen to, came to the conclusion that Chris not only refuses to learn anything if it even slightly inconveniences him, but that he is actively malicious and will ignore you or betray your trust if it benefits him. Even medical professionals are believed to have a hard time helping Chris, particularly when considering that Chris was just as delusional after [[Chris and mental healthcare|three months of time]] in a [[Western State Hospital|psychiatric hospital]] as he was going in. While Chris is a victim of circumstance, he can only get help if he actually seeks it, and that feels like extremely wishful thinking at this point.<br />
<br />
===White knighting Chris now takes on a completely different connotation===<br />
An unfortunate shift in the character of Chris's Internet adversaries has developed in the [[Idea Guys]]' wake. Having caused Chris to believe himself [[Polyamorous marriage|married]] and a [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|a goddess]], traditional methods of reaching to Chris, as pretending to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]], have become obsolete. And in recent times, there have been an overwhelming number of people who are confident that playing make-believe with Chris will either help him in the long run, or will turn them into trolling legends. Because of this newfound confidence built by playing make-believe with Chris, it has been abused several times, and likewise became the means of weeding them out, regardless of their intentions. White-Knighting as a whole has taken a much more negative connotation in the Chris Chan community than it ever has before.<br />
<br />
===Protecting Chris from specific trolls does not automatically make you a "hero" in the Chris Chan saga.===<br />
<br />
It goes without saying, but just because you divert trolls away from Chris, doesn't exclude you from being a subject of critique, as you have involved yourself in the drama in the first place. No matter the intention, interacting with Chris has always been discouraged by the community surrounding him. Chris's story doesn't really have heroes in it, anyways – it can basically be described as a sad tale of villains, victims, victims who become villains, villains who become victims, and those who watch the whole sorry story play out.<br />
<br />
===The stresses of white-knighting===<br />
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to keep up-to-date on his activities. Most have to lie and pretend to be a goddess of another dimension, or a random [[OC]], to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber. A key example of this is the [[enabler]] [[MKRNightVee|MKR]], who frequently came into conflicts with [[Jacob Sockness]] and his other enabling ilk while trying to warn Chris of the danger of letting Sockness get close – though for narcissistic reasons, as to some extent MKR simply wanted to keep Chris to herself. Regardless of whether they're white knighting for their own gain, or out of some misguided effort to help Chris, White knights will find themselves experiencing unprecedented levels of [[stress]]; this is one of the reasons why many simply give up.<br />
<br />
===Chris will not even read your message===<br />
Trolls had control over his e-mails. Messages sent to him by white knights were often deleted before he could read them. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].<br />
<br />
===Chris won't ever learn his lesson no matter what you tell him===<br />
Due in no small part to the fact that Chris had been mollycoddled by [[Borb|his parents]] from the very beginning and had his hand held through school by [[Manchester High Leaks|teachers who were sympathetic to a fault]], he is flat out resistant to any harsh truths pointing out his countless shortcomings and the objective fact that the general public by and large isn't going to absolve him of responsibility for his antics.<br />
<br />
He ''will not'' take a moment to reflect on his actions (let alone use memories of these experiences to avoid repeating the same mistakes ever again) because he is thoroughly convinced that [[Kick the Autistic|he is a righteous victim of an unfair society that horribly mistreats autistics]], thus anyone who goes against his ideals (i.e. denies him what he feels entitled to have) is an irredeemable villain in his eyes. As such, he won't accept any words that don't match what he believes in and/or wants to hear, so even simply trying to be nice and reasoning with Chris won't convince him you're not a dang dirty troll.<br />
<br />
Even ignoring the numerous altercations Chris got into during his [[Love Quest]] (resulting in portraying authorities doing their jobs as [[Jerkop|one-dimensional]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|villains]] for him and his league of OCs to triumph over) and the brutally honest tongue-lashing he received during the [[Father Call]], a particularly notable example of a white knight unable to make Chris wake up and smell the coffee was none other than [[Vivian Gee]]. [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|After]] '''[[Vivitheg's AIM chat|three hours]]''' [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|of trying to do just that]], she eventually gave up, understandably equating the experience with "fighting a wall".<br />
<br />
In short, as long as your words are not 100% in line with his childlike and egocentric point of view, it's utterly futile to try and help Chris.<br />
<br />
===Being overly nice to Chris might have molded him badly and still does===<br />
<br />
Tempting as it is to feel sympathetic for Chris ([[Affair With Mother|at least until mid-2021]]), doing so would only benefit him for all the wrong reasons. Chris's youth wasn't one without acts of kindness from others, albeit mainly people who were [[Manchester High|well-meaning yet misguided]] at best or [[Barbara Chandler|flat-out spoiled him at worst]]. As a result of others generally opting to shield Chris from even the slightest negativity ([[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|with few attempts at genuine advice in one ear and out the other]]), he has grown accustomed to receiving, or expecting to receive, nothing but complete satisfaction with no strings attached from anyone who gives him the time of day.<br />
<br />
Not only has it led to Chris's tendency to become hostile to anyone trying to show him the error of his ways (and of course doesn't give him everything he wants), but it has also allowed opportunities for [[enablers]] to entertain his bizarre delusions, only making him worse than he was before his online infamy. To make matters worse, it has even effectively created a paradox where benefitting Chris prevents him from getting what would ''actually'' benefit him (i.e. [[Chris and mental healthcare|therapeutic aid he needs but refuses]]), so even the best of intentions will ultimately yield no positive results whatsoever.<br />
<br />
==Examples==<br />
{{main|White knight emails}}<br />
<br />
===White Knights on YouTube===<br />
<br />
Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.<br />
<br />
On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.<br />
<br />
===White Knights on Facebook===<br />
<br />
In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say). Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.<br />
<br />
However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?<br />
<br />
{{quote|They do not. <br />
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|– Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}<br />
<br />
===TV Tropes===<br />
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on – in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from [[Chris and mental healthcare|licensed professionals]], [[October 28 2011|before]] [[26 December 2014|the stuff]] [[Chris and sex#Incest|you do]] [[Jail Saga|gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed]]. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans – [[True and Loyal Fanbase|the people you think are your fans]] are really either [[trolls]] or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us – for once.|– Concerned tropers.}}<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]<br />
<br />
In another move that was appeared to be White Knight-ish to onlookers, the page was also locked in order to prevent [[Weening|Weens]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]] from derailing a page about [[Sonichu (comic)|Chris's stupid webcomic]] to instead flood it with a trope list covering his entire life, with entries on Chris and the effort to troll him taking up about two-thirds of the page as a result of overzealous editors piling on an easy target instead of talking about the comic itself. However, the mods took action not out of a desire to protect Chris, but because troping a creator in such a fashion was strictly prohibited, and [[CWCki|going into Chris's life in such detail]] constituted an [[Honest Content|invasion of privacy]] that was in direct violation of the site's rules. The subsequent cleanup led to several ''Sonichu''-related pages being locked, with the main page covering the work getting a milquetoast and somewhat insincere message explaining that the article was being locked over excessive negativity, rather than the page flagrantly being warped by its editors to serve a different purpose than what the site was actually made for. Some ''Sonichu'' pages were eventually unlocked and the message was eventually removed, with the goal of actually providing examples of tropes in ''Sonichu'' being realized. Following the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] reveal, the pages were locked once more, and all discussion of Chris's personal life was prohibited on the threat of suspension.<ref>https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13327578050A72722200&page=269#comment-6710</ref><br />
<br />
A recreation of what that page looked like before being overhauled by the mods of TV Tropes can be seen [[User:Canine/TV_Tropes|here]].<br />
<br />
==Chris as a White Knight==<br />
In 2017, Chris himself began (attempting) to white knight the crew of [[Planet Dolan]], particularly [[DoopieDoOver]], after he misinterpreted one of Doopie's tweets about being tired of harassment from Chris himself as referring to [[trolls]] harassing her. To this end, he started the #[[HarassCWCdirectly]] campaign in which he exhorted the supposed trolls to take aim at him and leave Doopie and friends alone. This may well be a misguided effort to [[Love Quest|win Doopie's affections]] after she emphasized that she considers him nothing more than a customer, not even a [[Gal pal|friend]].<br />
<br />
He also bizarrely white knighted ''himself'' in [[May 2020]] while [[Spirit possession|LARPing]] as [[Pokémon#Mewtwo|Mewtwo]], [[Polyamorous marriage|his second husband]].<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Anti-Protoman sperging]]</ref> Note that he did so as a brief interruption of his marathon session of LARPing as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[A-Logging]]<br />
* [[Enablers]]<br />
* [[Weening]]<br />
* [[White knight E-mails]]<br />
* [[Jacob Sockness]] – An infamous white knight of Chris' that claims he wants to get in his pants.<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/index.php/White_Knighting White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].<br />
<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:People]]<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler&diff=299539Christian Weston Chandler2022-11-18T03:58:39Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Future */</p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about Chris himself... it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''<br />
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''<br />
{{Transgender|MTF}}<br />
{{Unreliable|type=cred|Chris is a [[List of Chris's lies|habitual liar]].|Chris will often exaggerate things that happened, often to [[Chris and his ego|make himself look better]].|Chris is considerably [[naïve]].|Chris's accounts on how a certain event went down will often vary with each time he recalls it.}}<br />
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox Person<br />
| title = Christian Weston Chandler<br />
| image = 0773-CWC23.JPG<br />
| size = 350<br />
| name = Christopher Weston Chandler (1982–[[Christopher's name change|1992]]) <br> Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's name change|1992]]–2016) <br> Christine Weston Chandler (2016–present)<br />
| aliases = Chris-Chan<br>Chris Chan<br>CWC<br>[[Bob Chandler|Little C]]<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo]]<br>[[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|RWC]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Father]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Pop]]<br> [[Rosechu (character)|Papa]]<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>[[Liquid Chris|Solid Chris]]<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]]<ref>[[:File:Kookydash.png]]</ref><br>[[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]<br>[[Facebook|Tini]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|paintingatree]]<br>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br>[[Night Star]]<br>[[CPU Blue Heart]]<br>[[CWC Psychlight]]<br>[[Kiwi Farms|LegendaryChristorian]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)]]<br>[[Internet Dream Lounge|Natalie Portman]]<br>[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Grandma Christine]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mother]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mama]]<br>[[:File:Princess Fehuni Hitikara TSSSF.jpg|Princess Fehuni Hitikara]]<br>[[Spirit possession|Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Jesus Christ]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Camera #000]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|Christine Chan Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Communications|Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 9 December 2021|Jesus Christ Chan]]<br>[[Jail Call - 13 January 2022|Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu]]<br>The Teflon Tard<br />
| month = 2<br />
| day = 24<br />
|gender = Male (1982–2016)<br>[[Tomgirl]] (2011–2014)<br>[[Transgender|Transwoman]] (2016–present)<br />
| nation = [[United States|American]]<br />
| religion = "[[Chris and religion|Neo Spiritual Christianity]]"<br />
| race = White (1/8<sup>th</sup> "[[Cherokian]]")<br />
|label8 = Height<br />
| ft = 5<br />
| in = 10<br />
| heightsrc = <ref name=16novletter>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref><br />
|lb = 203 <br />
|weightsrc= <ref name=16novletter></ref><br />
|father = [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)<br />
|mother = [[Barbara Chandler]] (1941–present)<br />
|siblings = [[Cole Smithey]] (half-brother)<br>[[David Alan Chandler]] (half-brother)<br>[[Carol Chandler]] (half-sister)<br />
|education = [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (AAS, [[CADD]])<br />
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist ([[Lulu|self-published]])<br>Video game designer (unpublished)<br>[[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) <br>[[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]])<br>[[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)<br>Entrepreneur, [[Chris and business|Cwcville Shopping]] ([[2014]]–[[2016]])<br>[[Stephanie Bustcakes|Prostitute]] ([[2016]], unpaid)<br />
|spouse = [[Cryzel Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] (m. March 2018) <br> [[Sylvana]] Rosechu, [[Mewtwo]] (m. June 2018) <br> and [[Pickchu]] (m. May 2022)<ref>[[:File:Miss Cherry asks Chris about his marriages.png]]</ref><br />
|titles = Sonichu Creator<br>Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu<br>[[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]] of the Nations of [[Cwcville]], Comma, and the [[Commodore 64|Commodore Consoles]]<ref>https://archive.fo/v5aVW</ref><br>The Queen of Modern Laughter<ref>[[Internet_Dream_Lounge#Outro_.281:12:27-1:16:25.29]]</ref><br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|The Real Player One]]<br><br />
<!--Do NOT include saga denotation templates in this infobox, as Chris has been involved in all sagas, and is the main subject of the CWCki--><br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and his Ego#Paranoia|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], AKA Chris.<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#We've been found AND mocked horribly! :(]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Behold, the Mistake of God!|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on Chris.}}<br />
<br />
'''Christine Weston Chandler''', formerly '''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born: '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''; 24 February [[1982]]) is a {{Age|1982|2|24}}-year-old [[Autism|autistic]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|mentally ill]]<ref>Confirmed by placement in the [[Therapeutic Docket]].</ref> [[JERKS|misandrist]], [[Women's rights|misogynist]], former [[virgin with rage]], self-proclaimed [[CPU Blue Heart|deity]], and [[Affair with Mother|accused sex offender]]. He is commonly referred to by his nickname '''Chris-Chan''', by his initials '''CWC''', or simply the gender-neutral '''Chris'''. He looks kind of like a cartoon version of {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} come to life, and is considered to be one of the most well-known and well-documented lolcows in internet culture – if not one of the most well-documented people in history.<br />
<br />
Some would consider Chris to be a celebrity, but he hasn't sold a multiplatinum [[Chris and music|album]], nor has he been awarded with an [[Chris and cinematography|Oscar]]. Instead, he is the [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which ostensibly tells the story of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] and their adventures with the [[Chaotic Combo]]. In practice, the webcomic really serves as wish fulfillment for Chris himself, allowing him to express his dissatisfaction with how [[Mary Lee Walsh|the faculty at school and college]] didn't acknowledge [[Honor roll|what he saw as an exemplary academic performance]] [[Count Graduon|when he graduated]], along with his frustration over [[Love Quest|being unable to find a romantic partner]]; as such, the book let him redirect his [[Chris and anger|anger]] toward [[Jerkop|the people who]] [[Manajerks|would impede him]] on his journey, casting them as villains and himself as [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|a true Campbellian hero]] in his narrative. After completing his education, Chris was unemployed for most of his adult life, making a living off of [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] and [[Patreon|donations]] from his webcomic's [[True and Loyal Fanbase]].<br />
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In late [[2007]], he became [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]-famous when images of him at [[The GAMe PLACe|a tabletop gaming store]] leaked out to the {{w|Something Awful}} message boards. Upon discovery, Chris was mocked for his [[Chris and fashion|odd fashion sense]] and [[Obesity|oafish appearance]], and images of Chris at the store soon spread to places like [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and in the process, many [[trolls]] became exposed to his webcomic for the first time, propelling Chris to stardom. Initial fascination was spurred on by his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]], his signature homemade [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] that he wore in public, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] asking women to talk to him. [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|His reaction to the ensuing mockery]] led to a cycle of [[Honest Content|Chris revealing more disturbing facts about himself]] and [[Chris and manipulation|trolls going to greater and greater lengths to uncover more knowledge about this strange individual]]. Thus, Chris's life began to spiral out of control with the advent of organized trolling, [[Chris and...|armchair psychological analysis]] from bewildered onlookers, and some truly bizarre antics from Chandler that continue to this day, which would influence the development of the webcomic whenever Chris got around to updating it.<br />
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Chris's most notable period of activity on the internet occurred between 2007 and 2010 – a period now dubbed the "Classic Era" by modern Christorians – in which he was repeatedly catfished by trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|romantic interests]], and he lashed out against arch-enemy [[Clyde Cash]], the leader of the most notable group of trolls in his life: [[Trolls#The Miscreants|The Miscreants]]. In this time, [[Julie Reveals Herself|he was duped by]] [[BlueSpike|a sadistic 13-year-old]] [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|into stuffing his medallion up his ass]], [[Liquid Chris|had his identity stolen by a far more talented individual]], [[Asperchu|and had ''Sonichu'' mercilessly spoofed by a webcomic team that specifically designed a story that would piss him off]], among other misadventures. However, he eventually decided to sign off from the internet at the end of this period, seemingly wising up to his dang dirty trolls. When he inevitably returned to the limelight a few months later in 2011, he was not the same. [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris began to experiment with crossdressing, calling himself a "Tomgirl"]], before eventually coming out as [[transgender]] in late 2014.<br />
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From here, Chris's internet life stayed relatively normal (by his standards), despite his shift in gender identity, his father's death, [[28 October 2011|a hit-and-run case]], [[2014 house fire|the accident that caused his house to burn down]], and [[26 December 2014|an incident where he maced an employee at a GameStop store]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of Sonic's arms]]. Things changed when two new sets of trolls – known as the [[Idea Guys]] and the [[Teen Troon Squad]] – [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] him with increasingly-insane beliefs (such as the idea that he and both of his parents are [[Sonichu (species)|half-Sonichu]] or [[Rosechu (species)|half-Rosechu]]), culminating in [[Chris and reality|Chris's revelation]] that he is [[CPU Blue Heart|a goddess]] meant to bring about [[Dimensional Merge|a convergence of dimensions]] that will merge [[Dimensions#C-197|the world shown in his webcomic]] with our world, effectively starting a doomsday cult around what started as a silly, self-indulgent ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'' crossover. Since then, Chris has used [[Messiah complex|this delusion]] as an elaborate [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism while he continues his self-destructive habits.<br />
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In spite of the trolls in question being driven out by the effort of the [[Guard Dogs]] trying to keep Chris from going further down a self-destructive path, or at least to keep him from embarrassing himself any more, Chris chose to keep clinging to these unhealthy and downright absurd beliefs. All the while, Chris's [[Chris and health|physical]] and [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]] are withering away, and [[Financhu Crisis|money is becoming a serious issue for the Chandler household]], and Chris's mother isn't long for this world, all of which has led Chris to retreat even further into his fantasies. It's gotten to the point where [[Spirit possession|he now pretends to be possessed by various fictional characters]] on a regular basis, with one nearly year-long period of "possession" by Sonichu serving as a way for Chris to cope with the fact that he wasn't able to attend [[BABSCon|two ''My Little Pony'' conventions]] that had been cancelled during the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. The point of no return was finally reached in [[2021]], after [[Incest call|a recording]] between Chris and [[Isabella Loretta Janke|a troll posing as a fan]] revealed that [[Affair with Mother|he had several incestuous encounters with his mother]], which has forcibly evicted him from [[14 Branchland Court|his own home]] and sent him to jail, which became his most publicized incident in years. Chris is now looking at prison time, and while Chris awaits a trial, [[Jail Communications|letters from jail]] illustrate that he's gone even deeper into his own fantasies by believing himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus Christ}} reincarnated. Chris was later transferred to the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution for three months before returning to jail.<br />
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There has never been an internet personality quite like Chris-Chan, thanks to the unique circumstances shaping his peculiar behavior and subsequently leading to his prominence online, and there may never be another quite like him – he is truly one of a kind. It is the dedicated mission of [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to chronicle his life in ridiculous detail, and if you want to go down the seemingly bottomless rabbit hole with us, then you should probably start by reading this page. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long ride, and the end is nowhere in sight.<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
{{quote|He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all.|An anonymous [[University of Virginia]] student making an observation about Chris.<ref><br />
[https://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html "glass house"], a post from LiveJournal user thereisbeautyin.</ref>}}<br />
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[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]<br />
[[File:SympathyForChris.png|thumb|left|An approximate graph which correlates knowledge about Chris to sympathy towards him.]]<br />
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Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified [[Transgender|transwoman]] with delusional tendencies who has been allowed – by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] – to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Even into his forties, Chris remains so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to societal norms. He has regularly demonstrated trouble displaying acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the law|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in any meaningful way. Although the public school system forced Chris to face [[reality]], graduation has allowed him to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities, opting instead to stick to the comfort of living at home and subsisting off of taxpayer dollars. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]] (commissions and multi-level marketing aside), and he hasn't been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. It is likely Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the <s>begging</s> generous donations, and the fact he has flat out said his autism prevents him from getting a job (in spite of there being many social services available to help people with disabilities find work). Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Perspective on Chris's social life]]</ref>.<br />
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[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]<br />
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Chris is completely obsessed with his OC and the associated comic, to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation; the medallion disappeared for a time, but returned in [[September 2010]]. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making ''Sonichu'' games is that they're either tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working for them. For a while, Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for $30 apiece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to Etsy, however, his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.<br />
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Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stared at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; throughout his early Internet history, he appeared to be deeply insecure about his gender and sexuality. Even prior to his gender transition, he has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and only reined in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly crossdress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproved. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgments on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partially [en]courages" and is even aroused by. Over time, Chris dropped his homophobic tendencies, [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|apologized in 2015]] and supports what he calls the [[SLGBTQ]] spectrum. In [[2018]], the [[Idea Guys]] [[brainwashed]] Chris into identifying as bisexual.<br />
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His adult life has been largely defined by his goals of developing ''Sonichu'' into a hit media franchise, his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, his gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman.<br />
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==Aliases==<br />
{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[Chris and religion|God]] [[Christopher's name change|and the bear]] has given me throughout my whole life. The current full name of Christian Weston Chandler, my first name being Christopher and my Spanish nickname being Ricardo. But in the end, just call me the full name, Christian Weston Chandler.|[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Chris making demands of]] [[Liquid Chris|his impostor]], years before legally changing his name to "Christine".}}<br />
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[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Chris's self-portrait, circa 2007. {{w|Ozymandias|"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"}}]]<br />
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|right|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's hand-drawn representation of himself.]]]]<br />
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Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]" that misheard his name, which he interpreted as a sign from God. In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris would often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is [[Chris and his ego|unusually proud]] of his initials "CWC", and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]] and [[CWC Dare]].<br />
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Shortly after declaring himself a [[transgender]] lesbian, Chris started introducing himself as "Christine". In May 2016, he successfully filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref>[[:File:Court Record - 2016 Name Change from Christian to Christine (Chris, CL16000067-00).png]]</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> He now signs his name with "heart i's". Legal documents refer to him as Christine Chandler,<ref>[[:File:Trespass case 2018.png]]</ref> except for civil cases, in which he hadn't updated his name change information with plaintiffs.<ref>[[:Image:Court Record - 2019 Midland Funding Debt Case, Garnishment (Chris, GV18000451-01).png]]</ref> [[CWCki|This wiki]], however, refers to him as Chris for consistency.<br />
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[[File:Cwc bronycon 2017 1.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris first went by "Christine" in late 2014 before legally changing his name in 2016.]]<br />
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Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and long after then he would still translate his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't replace your own name with something completely different when speaking in another language. At times he would go so far as to announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to identify himself precisely. In recent times, Chris has forgone stating his middle name, former names, and Spanish nickname in videos; now he usually leads with just "Christine Chandler". (Chris has never come up with a feminine counterpart to his "Ricardo" nickname, or any other Spanish-sounding replacement.)<br />
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Occasionally, Chris would use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. As Chris grew even more unhinged in 2017 and fell under the [[Idea Guys]]'s sway in 2018, he would conflate himself even further with his fantastic inventions to the point where he unofficially added "Sonichu" to the end of his name (although this is not recognized as a legal name change, unlike "Christian" or "Christine" in previous years), to account for his later belief that he is actually half-Sonichu in real life following several rounds of brainwashing. Other modern names for himself include [[CPU Blue Heart]] and [[Night Star]], his self-inserts for the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchises respectively. In contexts when he wants to be especially grandiose, he might append his various fictional alter egos to his name, much as he would list his former names in the past.<br />
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Only a few names commonly used to refer to Chris are not invented by Chris himself. One of the most notable ones is "Chrissy", popularized by [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen Van Dierten]] oddly enough, trying to mockingly feminize Chris's name seemed to predict his eventual interest in crossdressing and later interest in becoming transgender. [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], which was derived from Chris's IBAChandler [[YouTube]] account, was popularized by [[Liquid Chris]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|much to Chris's angst]]. Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent on Earth". Users of [[Kiwi Farms]] have coined the term "Classic Chris" to refer to Chris before the [[Tomgirl Saga]] and/or the [[2014 house fire|house fire]], with "Modern Chris" being used to describe his later antics.<br />
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==Foundational Era==<br />
{{quote|The most important parting words I can leave you with - well, are to always remember this. You show people where your [[Kick the Autistic|weak points]] are located, then [[Trolls|they]] will know how to [[Chris and anger|push your button]]. If you never show them, they will never know.|[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] giving Chris valuable advice that he, unfortunately, did not follow.}}<br />
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Christopher Weston Chandler was born on 24 February 1982 at {{w|Martha Jefferson Hospital}} in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref> His parents, [[Borb|Robert and Barbara]], worked as a engineer at Western Electric (later General Electric) and a office worker at Virginia Power, respectively. Although little is known about Chris's toddler years, the [[Autism papers]] revealed that he was delayed in his language ability, which became his first sign of [[autism]].<br />
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===Childhood and Adolescence===<br />
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]<br />
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[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan... in a {{w|Pogs|pog}} form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]<br />
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Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true – the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.<br />
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An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a toy room at an early age after turning all the lights off, an event he described as being intensely traumatic for him.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> (Chris apparently missed the irony of the fact that he regularly locked himself in a room, surrounded by toys, for much of his adult life.) He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism (which is wishful thinking on Chris's part, considering that autism is a genetic condition that isn't triggered by external trauma). Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> However, Chris was able to meet these cognitive milestones in time.<br />
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During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl – if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance). In [[1992]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.<br />
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Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /><br />
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At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to the general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has also led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).<br />
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<center><gallery><br />
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.<br />
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.<br />
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].<br />
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].<br />
</gallery></center><br />
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{{collapsible<br />
|More of young Christian<br />
|<gallery><br />
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg<br />
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg<br />
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg<br />
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg<br />
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg<br />
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg<br />
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg<br />
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg<br />
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg<br />
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg<br />
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg<br />
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg<br />
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg<br />
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg<br />
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg<br />
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg<br />
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg<br />
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg<br />
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg<br />
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg<br />
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg<br />
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg<br />
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg<br />
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg<br />
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg<br />
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg<br />
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg<br />
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg<br />
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
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[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[Semen|cups]].]]<br />
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[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]<br />
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Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu, the latter of which was created for a class project simply because he couldn't use [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted characters]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20161008083333/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> (The irony that Chris's own solution to that problem was to merge two copyrighted characters into a new character is somehow still lost on him, even to this day.) After inventing his ''magnum opus'' with the character of Sonichu, Chris began to incorporate his [[OCs|original character]] into everything that he could, although his passion for his character wouldn't truly surface until college.<br />
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Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris became despondent and stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" despite his autism, ignoring the likelihood that the artistic achievements of his peers were simply better. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult, a phase of his life that his parents had not properly prepared him for.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.<br />
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Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any other aspect of his life, and has unfortunately even regressed in several key areas as he gets older. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him. [[Chris and nostalgia|Chris still pines for "better days"]] in spite of his current belief system hypothetically leaving him in a better place than he ever was in high school. As you might imagine, this is precisely because things didn't get much better for Chris after finishing school.<br />
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{{collapsible<br />
|Chris's award-winning artwork<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
<br />
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.<br />
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.<br />
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.<br />
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.<br />
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...<br />
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.<br />
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight – look at it and you'll want to vomit.<br />
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
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<br />
===Adult Chronicles===<br />
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref><br />
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.<br />
<br />
Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]]. <br />
<br />
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]<br />
<br />
After college and completing his education, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. He would not make any serious attempts to seek out a career from graduation onward, in spite of attaining a degree that could probably net him a decent-paying (and relatively undemanding) career that would likely grant him more opportunities than sitting at home playing video games ever could.<br />
<br />
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her (a habit that got so bad that [[Megan emails, 2005-2006#Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals|Megan later equated it to sexual harassment]]).<br />
<br />
In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.<br />
<br />
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue, the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures. Little would Chris know, however, that his life was about to permanently change as a result writing and drawing of his magnum opus.<br />
<br />
==Classic Era==<br />
{{main|2007|2008|2009|2010}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want... I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead.|[[Kacey]], accurately predicting how stagnant Chris's life would be after [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|breaking up with him]].}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]<br />
<br />
Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. He was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed an unrelated conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris. A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref> Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then, and shockingly enough, Chris himself shoulders some of the blame for why that is.<br />
<br />
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]. He was duped into wearing his mom's underwear by [[Blanca Weiss]].]]<br />
<br />
Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time, giving the trolls justification to continue their war against Chris in the process. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.<br />
<br />
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]], making [[April 16 Fetish Vids|fetish videos]] for [[Ivy]].]]<br />
<br />
In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would, in turn, encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.<br />
<br />
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of lulz. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general, opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.<br />
<br />
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]<br />
<br />
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals, and that any and all trolls were a vocal minority on his way to fame and fortune. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga. All the while, the editors and administrators working at Encyclopedia Dramatica and the CWCki maintained a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris could not get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.<br />
<br />
Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: that his internet presence and the toxic cycle of exposing something about himself, getting exploited or otherwise made fun of by trolls, and reacting poorly to said trolling was having a detrimental effect upon his mental health and social life, with every new video that he created exasperating the problem. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. For a time, it looked like Chris was learning from his experiences and was making an effort to improve his own lot in life.<br />
<br />
In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. It initially appeared that Chris was making a positive lifestyle change, but alas, it was quickly discovered that his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he announced retirement from social media. Instead of investing his time into more productive activities or improving on his social skills, Chris spent much more time playing video games and otherwise doing what he had been doing when he did engage with trolls. In a predictable fashion, he ultimately forgot anything that he might have learned from his experiences of [[Kick the Autistic|being one of the internet's biggest punching bags]], and he subsequently returned to making new videos starting on [[August 2011]]... Albeit with a pretty big change in how he presented himself online.<br />
<br />
==Crossdresser Era==<br />
{{main|2011|2012|2013|2014}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I Seriously Have Been [[Chris and English|PUBLICALY]] INVISIBLE for YEARS! The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids; mentally and emotionally raped me continuously; made the worst imaginable reputation of me on the Internet, AND relayed THAT into OFFLINE LIFE in gossip, rumors, and presidentially grand Fucked-Up Campaigns!!!|[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Chris vents on Facebook]] after years of trolling take their toll.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2011]] in one of the first [[Tomgirl Pictures]]. This photo was also taken near the time of his father's death.]]<br />
<br />
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2012]].]]<br />
<br />
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of crossdressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown crossdresser (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seemed to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia, transphobia, and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and became more extreme in late 2014 and the years that followed. As mentioned previously, Chris would slowly but surely walk back his anti-LGBT stances.<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2013]].]]<br />
<br />
In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 80s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health and declining mentality are considered.<br />
<br />
After Bob's death, Chris generally ceased interacting with trolls, seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to. Instead, Chris lapsed into a deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of the family tragedy, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric man-child that the world had come to know and love. For many, it became apparent that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] were over, and several moved on. The Golden Age of Chris-Chan was over.<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]<br />
<br />
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2015]], cosplaying as [[Vinyl Scratch]], AKA [[My Little Pony|DJ-PON3]].]]<br />
<br />
Nonetheless, the surviving Chandlers still managed to be drama magnets in their own neighborhood. In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. (Chris had presumed that the store's new management meant that Snyder may no longer work there, thus giving Chris a chance to potentially revisit his old haunt. When this proved to not be the case, the both Chandlers hit Snyder with a car.) The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. Much of the money that Bob left behind was used to pay for legal expenses.<br />
<br />
While awaiting trial, Chris was worried that he may die a virgin if he were to go to prison, and so looked for ways to have at least one sexual encounter before a worst-case scenario could come to pass. [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true... [[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. Chris reneged on the "true love" part of his [[Love Quest]] and skipped straight to the point, which seemed to satisfy him in the short run but otherwise wasn't a life-changing experience for him. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]] and spent less time online than usual.<br />
<br />
[[2013]] saw Chris's online presence more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Walmart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the "stress" taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him – he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.<br />
<br />
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior. <br />
<br />
At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when an extension cord leading from the bathroom to a coffee maker in the hallway – which was placed in such a location due to the nature of Barb's compulsive hoarding habits, and had become frayed due to the constant closing of the door – sparked and [[2014 house fire|set the house on fire]].<ref>[[BraveryJerk Interviews]]</ref> While no human was seriously harmed, one of the [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Some of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Bob's huge record collection.<br />
<br />
Chris and his mother ran into [[Chris and money|acute]] [[Debt|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|difficulties]] as a result of the house fire on top of their existing income issues, and Chris had spent most of the year alternating between begging for money and taking commissions to make more of his artwork on Facebook, and selling autographed photos of himself on eBay ([[Trolls|with it being pretty clear who most of his patrons were]]). Despite the severity of the Chandler family's financial issues, Chris chose to blow literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]] instead of working to resolve his debts. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]], who purchased these items as a means to keep a roof over Chris's head.<br />
<br />
In July, Chris was catfished once more by a new sweetheart named [[Catherine]] after meeting her through [[OKCupid]]. She met up with him in Ruckersville and surreptitiously recorded his conversations. The relationship lasted through the end of the year, and through this process, it was learned that Chris [[Un-clit|pierced his taint]], with other media tied to Chris's life leaking as Catherine and cooperating trolls uncovered more details about his then-current life and mindset.<br />
<br />
[[Transgender|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of pickles in general. Chris also took up swanning around attending LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingled with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before Chris would make a more serious commitment to his lifestyle change when he officially began to transition.<br />
<br />
==Transgender Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2014|2015|2016|2017}}<br />
<br />
{{Protip|The CWCki has opted to use masculine pronouns to describe Chris, even post-transition, for the purpose of keeping consistent with records from before 2014. Chris is legally registered as female and has taken hormones to transition, but has not undergone gender reassignment surgery.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|The future shock... Me? Actually a woman? It is a lot to process. But as I recall my past, I remember in high school, my habits and nature were recognized as most feminine. And in comparing it to my experiences with the masculine, I find I actually don't like such brutish things. And looking deep in my heart and soul, [[Chris and gender|I actually find I feel more woman than the male I was born as.]] And the more I open myself to that [[Chris and English|plausible]]... I truly feel more at peace with myself. [[Chris and his ego|I love me.]] '''[[The Incredible Lioness|I am woman! Roar!]]'''|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's fictionalized counterpart]] explaining his philosophy before becoming [[transgender]] in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris in [[2016]].]]<br />
<br />
In early December 2014, Chris informed those closest to him to start referring him with female pronouns, indicating his desire to go from being a crossdresser to becoming transgender. This era started with a bang when, in December, Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. On top of this, Chris subsequently caused another ruckus at Walmart, just in case you started feeling bad for him after being duped by yet another fake girlfriend. Chris ultimately spent a night in the slammer, and following a lengthy legal process, got off with a $541 fine and a six-month suspended sentence.<br />
<br />
More generally, 2015 saw Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon hedgehog]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He indicated in several Facebook posts that he was still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; for some time, he yo-yoed between wanting to remain a crossdresser and wanting to transition into womanhood.<br />
<br />
Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016:<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable"<br />
|Original <br />
|Sequel<br />
|-<br />
|[[Recycling]]<br />
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]<br />
|[[Lesbian Sex Audition]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[Carlos Chantor]]<br />
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[Un-clit]]<br />
|[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
[[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2017, donning his [[unicorn cosplay]] at [[Cville Pride]].]]<br />
<br />
In addition, Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards of things that they could sell were clearly visible behind them. The [[Business]] saga was suspended when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".<br />
<br />
His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]]. He also made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.<br />
<br />
[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|left|Chris with the Teen Troon Squad in [[2018]].]]<br />
<br />
In [[2017]], the Financhu Crisis continued to stress the Chandlers. Chris offered pieces of his late father's stamp collection, the [[Sonic Totem]] and [[The Classic]] for sale in order to afford more toys, a [[$400 gold necklace]] for Barb, and the extremely costly expenses for his [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle prizes]]. He and Barb also continued begging. One of his friends from [[The End Games]] Pokémon Club grew concerned and gave him solid advice on how to apply for work through Virginia's DARS program – and in true Chris fashion, instead of following it, he went on an angry tirade. Later in the year, he was sued for failure to pay a debt to Mariner Finance.<br />
<br />
Chris rediscovered Twitter in March. His frequent tweets to voice actresses lead to the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] saga – in which he was chastised for calling her [[darling]], but doubled down on it and was subsequently blocked by her – and getting blocked by ''My Little Pony'' VA [[Tabitha St. Germain]] due to her getting constantly tagged by Chris and the [[weens]] orbiting him. He created sockpuppet accounts [[NightStar2891]] to plead his case and [[TwiSparLicious]] to ban-evade, which failed.<br />
<br />
He briefly joined the [[Kiwi Farms]] forum under the name LegendaryChristorian and held a Q&A session.<br />
<br />
A high point for his social life was attending [[BronyCon]], at which he enjoyed attention from [[fans]]. He also attended LGBT events such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] (where he was interviewed on TV), [[Cville Pride]] (where he was photographed by news in crowd shots), and [[Love is Love]].<br />
<br />
Chris resumed the [[Business]] saga halfway through the year by going back to work on the [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] comic he had abandoned in 2015, by placing pages behind [[Patreon]]. He also again offered books for sale, self-published by [[Lulu]], was paid to be interviewed by [[Merryweathery]] and [[CopperCab]], and joined [[Redbubble]]. After eight years, he finally completed #11, and moved onto #12, which he completed after a few months. He began work on [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] and [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]], but got distracted. His Patreon efforts also began to languish around October, when patrons complained that he hadn't been sending out books.<br />
<br />
Another sweetheart saga took place in the fall. [[Jessica Quinn]], a long-time white knight, suddenly turned troll by pretending she had fallen in love with him. She broke up with him twice, the first time he cried on camera for her to take him back, and the final time, [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|he raged on video against the trolls he thought were to blame]]. He recovered quickly after drowning his sorrows at an ice cream shop.<br />
<br />
==Goddess Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2017|2018|2019|2020|2021}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], have tried and kept on and continuing on until that day in the new [[COVID-19|Pandemic-Free]] version of this, the Omega Timeline – 'cause I'm going back in time with this body, after I get back to [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] – finally return this body to mama in the new timeline at [[BABSCon]]. I tell you all, as overpowered a soul I am – in my own body that I was used to and accustomed with and everything – I, Sonichu, am unable to do Mama's job as good as only she, our OG Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, of [[Dimensions#1218|Earths 1218]] and C-197, can do. [[Chris and work|This work]], [[Obesity|her body]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|her brain]], [[Chris and reality|her Goddess-level overpowers and abilities]]; [[PsychicPowers|they're all literally tailored and custom-made only for her]]... [[Messiah complex|All praise, prayers, and power to our Goddess of 1218 and C-197: Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu!]]|Chris, [[Spirit possession|pretending to be Sonichu]], [[Sonichu's Update on the Dimension Merge and Sermon - October, 2020|completely going off of the deep end]] while talking about the [[Dimensional Merge]].}}<br />
<br />
[[File:CWC 11 February 2019.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in 2019 with [[Lego|a custom LEGO minifigure]] representing his [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|godsona]], [[CPU Blue Heart]].]]<br />
<br />
After [[Heart level|having his heart shattered]] yet again, another troll, the [[Idea Guys|Idea Guy]], began to influence Chris by role-playing as his [[imaginary friends]] and convincing him that he was providing information from [[CWCville]]'s dimension, which Chris accepted out of having his fantasy world validated; along the way, another Idea Guy joined with the first. Together, they used their influence over Chris's beliefs to [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwash Chris into believing several things about himself]], such as the idea that he was [[bisexual]] and half-Sonichu, which ultimately culminated in Chris developing a [[Messiah complex]] derived from [[Dimensions|his own delusions about the nature of reality]] and the lore of ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.<br />
<br />
[[File:Praetor5.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2020, moments before [[Sonichu's Update on the Dimension Merge and Sermon - October, 2020|giving a sermon]] of the allegedly imminent [[Dimensional Merge]].]]<br />
<br />
When it was learned that the Idea Guys were extorting Chris, who was already facing financial difficulties, [[The Captain]] and [[Marvin]] intervened, forcing the Idea Guys out from Chris's life over the course of the subsequent months, however Chris retained much of the Idea Guys' brainwashing. The Captain, Marvin, and [[Null]] a group termed by onlookers as the [[Guard Dogs]], attempted to protect Chris from further bad actors by screening his messages, however, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] managed to evade them by meeting with Chris in person. The Guard Dogs alleged them to have role-played as Chris's imaginary friend [[Magi-Chan]] and Chris's retreated more into his fantasy world while under their enabling influence, although they stopped contacting Chris when they saw what happened to the Idea Guys.<br />
<br />
Chris repeatedly denounced the Idea Guys for financially exploiting him, but the damage was done to his psyche: Chris bought into the fantasy that he was a goddess as a new coping mechanism, and his already-shaky grasp on reality hit rock bottom. Chris's new beliefs led him to seek a hippie makeover befitting of his supposed [[PsychicPowers|psychic prowess]], and he retreated further into his fantasies, generally refusing to engage with people who wouldn't entertain them. Chris eventually turned on Null, thanks to the influence of other trolls – chief among them, [[Jacob Sockness]], who sought to sexually exploit Chris. The Guard Dogs realized that there was nothing that they could do for a Chris who refused to listen, and disbanded, but a new group, known as the [[Watchmen]] (who [[Enablers|enabled some of Chris's fantasies]] out of pragmatism), sought to keep Chris from further embarrassing or endangering himself, successfully getting him away from Sockness before he could do any harm to Chris.<br />
<br />
Throughout all of this, Chris's belief in the Dimensional Merge has not wavered. When it didn't arrive on the prophesized date of {{w|Jonestown|November 18, 2018}}, Chris did what all doomsday cultists and religious fundamentalists did whenever the apocalypse didn't happen: push it back again and again. Not helping matters was the advent of [[COVID-19]], which Chris saw as a sign of the Dimensional Merge's progress alongside all the other insane crap that happened in the year 2020. For Chris, things really took a turn for the worse when [[BABSCon]] got canceled, and he began an elaborate coping scheme to [[Spirit possession|live-action roleplay as Sonichu]] until he could attend ''[[My Little Pony]]'' conventions again, which will not happen until 2022 at the earliest. Chris spent nearly eleven months pretending to be his [[OCs|original character]], with very few interruptions, before eventually reverting to being himself again on 25 February 2021, [[KwaiiSandbag calls|thanks to the intervention of an enabler]], to personally oppose news about the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G5 reboot.<br />
<br />
During this time, Chris's appearance visibly aged significantly, with his hair turning grey. He's also seemingly lost a bit of weight, not due to improving his diet and leading a less sedentary lifestyle, but due to a decline in muscular mass. This is likely a result of the effects of the hormones that he has applied to treat his gender dysphoria, alongside his declining physical health due to his various poor life decisions. In addition to his existing health problems, he's also [[Chris and drugs|taken up drinking to excess and even smoking weed on occasion]], which both do his so-called "overpowered" goddess body absolutely no favors. Compared to [[Megan Schroeder]], who is four years younger than he is and currently looks pretty close to how she did in photographs with Chris about thirteen years ago, Chris now looks like he could now pass for her aunt or uncle. Chris also continued to be influenced by enablers such as [[Larry Vaughn]], [[KwaiiSandbag]], and [[Praetor]], the last of which is a group that seeks to exploit his infamy for sales revenue. The [[Watchmen]], an enabler/white knight group, splintered following internal conflict among its members.<br />
<br />
==Downfall Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2021|2022|Affair with Mother|Jail Saga}}<br />
{{quote|So there you go, chat: the [[Dimensional Merge]] is happening right fucking now! Chris, our boy Chris, bravo! Bravo, brave young man! I guess you could say, uh, that [[Chris and sex#Incest|he really, really came into his own]]. And in case it's not already fucking obvious, [[Jail Saga|Chris is going to jail]]. So we'll see how that works out. Best of luck Chris! [[It's UGH!|Don't drop the soap]], buddy. The world you lived in was just a fantasyland, but [[Chris and reality|reality]]... Reality is [[Affair with Mother|a motherfucker]].|A deepfake of Mister Metokur.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saeC2T4Be8k</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|left|400px|{{w|Killing of Osama bin Laden|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."}}]]<br />
<br />
[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot_2.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in 2021. {{w|Psycho (1960 film)|"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly!"}}]]<br />
<br />
After nearly a decade of a slow downward spiral in nearly all aspects of Chris's life following Bob's death, his future did not look particularly bright. By 2021, Chris had largely reduced his online activities to posting long [[Twitter]] threads of faux-philosophical ramblings reflecting his New Age Retro Hippie mindset, which bordered on being incomprehensible or [[Enablers|esoteric]]. At the same time, the Chandler family's debt steadily rose, largely due to Barb and her son's poor spending habits. In the extremely likely event that Chris outlives Barb, it was speculated that the situation would get worse for Chris with nobody to ground him in reality. Not to mention that Chris was virtually unemployable in any career after years of having every detail about his past leak out to the internet, and he hadn't made a real effort to get a job since his attempt to win [[Kacey]]'s heart, after his short-lived stints working at [[Wendy's|fast food joints]] or in [[Cutco|multi-level marketing]].<br />
<br />
However, there was fleetingly a period in which there was a degree of hope for Chris. Chris successfully reconciled with Null, who eventually helped organize a trip for Chris so that he could attend [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention, on the condition that [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Chris would complete commission work in exchange for his donations]]. Null believed this was a worthy effort to see if he could sustain himself as an adult through self-employment, particularly ahead of Barb's death. Chris actually kept up with these obligations, doing a considerable amount of work compared to previous months of less output. Had he kept his pace up post-convention, and with the right financial guidance, Chris could conceivably keep a roof over his head for at least another year. All seemed relatively normal for Chris as far as the post-Idea Guys status quo went, and some fans anticipated the possibility that Chris, now upset about MLP G5, would do something amusing at the convention as he prepared for the trip, just like old times.<br />
<br />
What happened next turned everything completely on its head. Chris would not, in fact, be going to Everfree Northwest. He would not be going to any future convention, for that matter, as the point of no return was finally passed after years of online infamy.<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[2022]], returned to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. What nine months behind bars does to [[Chris and sex#Incest|a motherfucker]].]]<br />
<br />
On 29 July 2021, [[Incest Call|an audio recording of a conversation between Chris and the troll]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] surfaced online, featuring a graphic discussion in which [[Affair with Mother|Chris described sexual acts that he committed with his own mother]] – a felony – over the course of several weeks. While trolls joked about Chris potentially committing incest before, few actually believed that he was capable of acting on those impulses and taking advantage of an elderly (and possibly senile) woman. Once these details got out, nothing would ever be the same: he and Barb were separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], he had to vacate his only home due to a week-long protective order, he was very quickly banned from the convention that he'd hoped to attend, and his [[Patreon]] account – one of his few real sources of income – was taken down. Null quickly washed his hands of Chris for good, not only after learning that the audio leak was legitimate, but also when he realized that Chris effectively stole approximately $750 from Barb to [[Toys|fund his stay at a hotel]].<br />
<br />
Chris was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] on 1 [[August 2021]], an event which was live-streamed by [[Post-Merge Era|multiple orbiters]]. The incest revelation and the ensuing drama resulted in several people associated with Chris cutting ties with him – such as [[Don Lashomb]], [[The WCT]], and [[the Suitress]]. Other people continue to interact with Chris such as [[Kenneth Engelhardt]], [[Praetor]], [[Helena Fiorenza]], and [[Eels and the Eggman]]. Chris's actions during this time trended on social media, leading less internet-savvy netizens to either discover Chris for the first time or to rediscover him after years of fading into obscurity. The massive social media reaction to the news led to Chris's actions being covered by various news outlets – most notably, a dedicated segment on Fox News, which in turn exposed him to millions of retired, right-wing baby boomers.<br />
<br />
Chris spent the next several months in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] after being arrested by the Henrico County sheriff's department, awaiting a court hearing set for 28 [[July 2022]], following three continuances. While waiting in jail, Chris's [[Messiah complex|delusions of godhood]] have spiraled out of control as he now believes himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus of Nazareth}} reincarnated and the [[Dimensional Merge]] to be proceeding entirely as planned. During this time, Chris has kept in touch with the outside world via a multitude of [[Jail Communications]] discussing a variety of subjects, from his jail conditions to [[Chris and religion|his renewed interest in the Bible]] and [[Weening|ween]] attempts to convert him to Islam through reading the Qur'an. These letters and phone calls have also revealed that Chris has been kept in protective custody for his own safety.<br />
<br />
Early into [[March 2022]], it was learned that Chris was transferred out of jail into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution. During this time, Chris was isolated from the outside world; what he was up to while there will most likely remain unknown until his next hearing. He returned to [[CVRJ]] on [[May 2022|3 May 2022]], with a new mugshot taken upon his arrival, showing that Chris looks much more gaunt than before and has lost a substantial amount of weight. Unfortunately, subsequent mail correspondence indicates that his time away from jail has not caused him to face reality, sticking to his fantasies.<br />
<br />
On 28 [[July 2022]], only a day before the first anniversary of the leaking of the infamous incest call, Chris finally had his court hearing after three delays. In the process, it was determined that the case would be going before a grand jury for at least one felony incest charge. However, Chris's lawyer filed a motion for autism disorder deferred deposition. Following months of [[CWCki|excessive]] [[Kiwi Farms|online]] [[Orbiter Wave|interest]] in the case, Chris's lawyer eventually managed to convince the court to seal the case on 11 [[August 2022]], with "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" added to his case file. The exact meaning of these legal maneuvers remain unknown for the time being, but Christory is on hiatus as a result until the legal veil over the court proceedings is eventually lifted.<br />
<br />
==Future==<br />
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|[[Jail Saga#Arrest|Some of Chris's last spoken words recorded on video.]]}}<br />
<br />
As it stands, there are many ways in which this case may go, and with limited access to court details at this time, it is difficult to speculate on Chris's legal future. Chris could conceivably spend the rest of his life behind bars or in some other form of custody in the event that both his physical and mental health give out. But if Chris ''does'' manage to eventually get out of jail, he won't have many options from there, except for the following:<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|thumb|left|[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|Chris in the present]], following his arrest (albeit without Barb in the background, due to the restraining order).]]<br />
<br />
* He can try to seek out another family member to live off of (virtually impossible, and even more so after previous family members refused to shelter Chris after learning that he had sex with Barb; additionally, he has had next-to-no contact with any of them in recent years).<br />
* A social worker could help place him into a group home or some other kind of assisted living establishment, something Null even offered to help with until the incest fallout and Chris stealing $750 from Barb shortly before his arrest drove him away. This is theoretically possible down the line — especially given that dedicated locations for it do exist for sex offenders — but quite unlikely.<br />
* He can attempt to beg online to live with someone (which would be next to impossible due to him being inhumanly intolerable to live with and the fact that how having sexual relations with his elderly mother for months would be a clear sign that nobody would want to adopt him), with [[Jacob Sockness]] being the only possible taker.<br />
* Finally, he can enter the so-called "Homeless Saga" and live as a vagrant on the streets (by far the most likely outcome after Chris serves his prison sentence), putting himself at risk of getting robbed, assaulted, and gangbanged by weens, A-Logs, and criminals until his eventual death; be it by [[Death threats|homicide]], [[Chris and Death#Suicide|suicide]], [[Chris and drugs|substance abuse]], or a [[Biology#Health_and_Disease|fatal illness]] contracted from an unhealthy vagrant lifestyle.<br />
<br />
Some of these options are better than others, but none of them are ideal for him. This is also to say nothing of [[Chris and health|his many existing issues with mental and physical health]] (both of which will continue to decay and show no sign of recovering anytime soon). In any case, Chris's story is one that seems fated to [[Chris and Death#Chris himself (1982–)|not have a happy ending]], with his life perhaps serving as a cautionary tale in the age of the internet. A tale of [[Borb|bad parenting]], [[Chris and socialization|social isolation]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|gullibility]], [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and work|laziness]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], [[Chris and sex|sexual deviancy]], and most importantly, a tale of the world witnessing in real-time the slow, painful degradation of another human being.<br />
<br />
==Featured Fan Videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story<br />
| ytid = DxAhBoYfWy4<br />
| Stardate = 20 November 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris Chan ~ Ruler of Everything<br />
| ytid = Wul6LgL8FvI<br />
| Stardate = 4 March 2021<br />
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIbrqVkPdL_5qrgjwHYytQg First Son]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] – Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.<br />
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] – Chris's furry alter ego.<br />
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].<br />
* [[User:Christianchandler]] – Chris's own CWCki account<br />
<br />
{{CWCipedia}}<br />
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the {{w|Internet Movie Database}}<br />
<br />
{{Newbie}}<br />
{{Check this out}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}} <br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}<br />
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]<br />
[[Category:Chris]]<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]<br />
[[Category:Homos]]<br />
[[Category:Autistic]]<br />
[[Category:LGBT]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=297284Weening2022-08-12T03:38:12Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Arguments against trolling attempts */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Encouraging other people to commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively gory, perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly-made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community by donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, or making and sending him badly-made parody comics is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame, or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Passive_observers&diff=297283Passive observers2022-08-12T03:35:17Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div>When people first hear of Chris, they may become interested or fascinated. While some will degenerate into [[Unholy_Quintet#White_Knights|White Knights]], [[Unholy_Quintet#A-Logs|A-Logs]], [[Unholy_Quintet#Enablers|Enablers]], [[Unholy_Quintet#Weens|Weens]], or [[Unholy_Quintet#Carpetbaggers|Carpetbaggers]],there are those who choose to keep their distance from Chris and don't want to be a [[Weening#Arguments_against_weening|negative influence]] on him. <br />
<br />
These select people are what we call '''passive observers'''. They enjoy Chris's antics from the delightful view of the moral high-ground while not directly interfering with Chris's life, and recognise that Chris really needs help from the people around him and trained professionals, not random people on the internet. Having a [[watchmen|support group]] online of people who have your back is ok, but you're not going to convince him that the [[Dimensional Merge|dimensional merge]] won't happen by pretending to be [[CPU]] Silver Heart of the [[Wikipedia:LeapPad#Models|LeapPad Ultimate]].<br />
<br />
==The Cwcki as passive observers==<br />
Some passive observers decide to record the more interesting and comedic events of Chris's life. On the [[Cwcki]], avoiding direct contact with Chris is essential, along with trying to remain unbiased, but a little ribbing is ok. The Cwcki's wealth of information over the years has been gained from Chris's inability to keep information to himself, his incredible [[Honest_Content|honesty]] has made sure we know everything we [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|need to know]] without having to befriend him. <br />
<br />
Open-ended questions have also been a good way to get information in the past, as we've discovered from [[mailbags]], and details of how to ask Chris a good question are provided [[Passive_observers#Q&A Advisory Guidelines|below]]. Chris tends to interpret yes-or-no questions without subtext; one person asked him if he listens to music while working on the comic, and he simply replied "yes". He missed that there may have been subtext (what kind of music, does it help/distract you, etc.), and didn't provide much information. However, he is incredibly [[true and honest|candid]] when asked an open-ended question.<br />
<br />
==Criteria==<br />
Passive Observers are strongly discouraged from doing the following:<br />
<br />
* Attempting to contact Chris - Do not directly message Chris on any of the social platforms he is on. If Chris tries to contact you or mentions you in a comment, ignore him.<br />
* [[White knight|Defending]] Chris - Chris is by no means innocent and he is beyond help from people who aren't professionals - which you most likely aren't.<br />
* Expressing [[A-Logging|hatred]] for Chris and over exaggerating his flaws - This makes you no better than Chris. If you really hate whatever Chris is doing, you don’t need to threaten him over it.<br />
* [[Enablers|Encouraging]] Chris’ bad habits - Playing along with his lifestyle is a very bad idea, as it only gives him more of a reason to remain as childish as ever.<br />
* Attempts to [[Weening|troll or annoy]] Chris - This is not only is most likely to fail, it's also fruitless and often comes back to bite you in the ass.<br />
* [[Carpetbaggers|Profiting off of]] Chris's infamy for dishonest, self-serving purposes - this is probably the scummiest thing you can do with Chris. While there is nothing wrong with documenting his life or making fan media (such as art, fanfiction, cosplay, animation, etc.), it must be done with integrity in mind.<br />
<br />
==Q&A Advisory Guidelines==<br />
In some scenarios, it’s perfectly fine to ask Chris questions under some set conditions:<br />
<br />
* Make sure your question is actually for getting important details from Chris.<br />
* Don't get too intimate with him. Chris is not your friend and likely never will be.<br />
* Avoid asking repetitive questions like “When’s the next comic coming out?” or “Is Barb still alive?”.<br />
* On the rare chance that Chris vehemently refuses to answer, just leave it at that and stop asking. If it doesn't work the first time, chances are it won't work the next hundred times.<br />
* Your question must not be a [[Weening#Arguments_against_weening|negative influence]] on Chris.<br />
<br />
If you are an editor of the CWCki and you'd like to ask Chris a question yourself, then you should post [[User:Anaxis/CWC Questions Depository|here]]. Just be sure to look through the various [[Discord Q&A]] sessions in order to make sure that your question hasn't already been asked, and remember to follow the guidelines.<br />
<br />
==Why passive observation works==<br />
<br />
===You don't have to risk becoming an easy target===<br />
<br />
===Concerns with privacy===<br />
<br />
===Prevention of further degrading a mentally ill man's sense of reality===<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
<br />
*[[Unholy Quintet]] - How not to observe Chris.</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Jail_Saga&diff=296144Jail Saga2022-07-29T01:43:05Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Looking forward */</p>
<hr />
<div><!--Editor's Note:For the sake of consistency, always refer to Chris's arrest as him being in "jail" instead of "prison"--><br />
:''This article primarily covers what is known regarding the Jail Saga stemming from Chris's [[Affair with Mother]]. For answers to frequently asked questions regarding Chris's sentence in jail, see [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jail-state-hospital-court-faq.113466/ a Kiwi Farms thread here].''<br />
{{Ongoing}}<br />
<br />
[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's mugshot for his [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge, Henrico County Sheriff's Office.<ref name=sun/> Note how Chris almost looks ''content'' after being arrested for incest, compared to [[:File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|his despondent mugshot]] [[26 December 2014|taken the same day that he maced a dude]].]]<br />
[[File:JailArt7.jpg|300px|thumb|''"Happiness can still be a Hug away; even if you're hugging your self."'' A poignant piece of [[jail art]] drawn by Chris in [[May 2022]].]]<br />
<br />
Following allegations in late [[July 2021|July]] and the eventual confirmation that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] had committed [[Affair with Mother|incest with]] [[Barb]], hundreds of people contacted the Greene County police, and authorities conducted a welfare check on the Chandler home, issuing an Emergency Protective Order on [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] the following day (essentially a temporary week-long restraining order). Chris was made temporarily homeless, and stayed at the Regency Inn Richmond for the meantime. Chris was '''arrested on 1 [[August 2021]]''', outside of the Inn. The arrest was captured live on stream by [[Orbiter Wave#Ethan Ralph|several onlookers]]. Surprisingly, given Chris's past history with [[Chris and the law|the law]], he made no attempt to resist arrest, and was cooperative with police.<br />
<br />
Chris is in jail, not prison. Chris will only go to prison if he is convicted of a felony, and he is only facing misdemeanor charges (so far). Since 2 August 2021, Chris has been an inmate at Central Virginia Regional Jail and is awaiting trial for the charge of incest as well as pending charges yet to be identified.<ref name="press release"/> He was arraigned on 5 August 2021 and is being held without bond. Hearings in [[November 2021]] and [[February 2022]] resulted in continuances; his next court date is 28 [[July 2022]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate2>{{Cite farms|thread=112013|title=2/3/22 - Hearing speculation thread}}</ref><br />
<br />
Since his arrest, Chris's only contact to the outside world has been through [[Jail Communications|written correspondence and phone calls]], which began in August 2021 and continued through February 2022. On 28 February 2022, Chris was transferred from the Central Virginia Regional Jail<ref>[[:File:Transfer.jpg]]</ref> to [[Western State Hospital]], a mental institution. On 3 [[May 2022]], Chris was transferred back to Central Virginia Regional Jail.<ref>[[:File:May3jailconfirmed.PNG]]</ref> The reasons for his return remain to be heard.<br />
<br />
==Background==<br />
{{See also|Affair with Mother}}<br />
<br />
[[File:EscapeIntoMadness.jpg|thumb|right|200px|''Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage: Minds innocent and quiet take That for an hermitage. If I have freedom in my love, And in my soul am free, Angels alone, that soar above, Enjoy such liberty.'']]<br />
<br />
It is a [[Chris and the law|criminal offense]] in Virginia to engage in incest - sexual activities between a parent and a child are a class 5 felony, punishable on indictment by up to 10 years incarceration.<ref name=kvia>[https://kvia.com/news/us-world/2021/08/10/transgender-autistic-internet-personality-chris-chan-held-without-bond-in-mens-jail-on-incest-charge-involving-senile-mom/ Transgender, autistic internet personality Chris Chan held without bond in men's jail on incest charge involving senile mom]</ref> Despite rumors, Chris hasn't been charged for rape, and whether or not Chris's affairs were entirely consensual remains unknown. <br />
<br />
In the early morning of 28 July 2021, Chris discussed having sex with his mother in a call and text messages with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]. On the night of 29 July, the [[Suitress]] leaked the files. The next morning, as reports poured in, Greene County Police visited [[14 Branchland Court]] for a [[Welfare check|wellness check]].<ref name=sun/> They issued Chris an Emergency Protective Order, forbidding contact between him and Barbara, and by extension, preventing him from remaining at her residence until 5 August. Meanwhile, Barbara was relocated to a hospital for a senior care inspection.<ref name=removed>{{Cite farms<br />
| thread = 96559<br />
| title = Chris-Chan incest leak / Chris has been removed from 14 Branchland Court<br />
| wayback = 20211006023749<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
As a result of the protection order levied against Chris, he was without a home for the time being. Due to [[Financhu Crisis|ongoing financial problems]], Chris could not afford a hotel. [[Null]] advised him to sleep in [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|his van]] for one night, noting that Chris would have have the proceeds of Chris's GoFundMe (originally intended for Chris's trip to [[Everfree Northwest]]) transferred to his bank account the following day. Initial plans to stay with [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]] were disrupted after their invitation was rescinded - likely while he was already on the way to their home.<ref name=letter>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>{{refn|<br />
Chris told Null that after spending the night in his car, he would go to a mall as soon as it opened in the morning and loiter there.<ref name=NullTexts/> The two malls he mentioned, [[Leonard Bearstein|Regency Mall]] and Chesterfield Towne Center, are in [[Richmond]].<ref>{{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)}} and {{w|Chesterfield Towne Center}} on Wikipedia</ref> This suggests that [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]], who live in Richmond's southwest suburbs,<ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800|Chris leaks the Ashbys' address to Miyamoto-san]]</ref> did not rescind their invitation until he had actually gotten near their home.}}<br />
<br />
On 30th of July, Everfree Northwest posted that "appropriate action to protect the vulnerable" will be taken; while not naming Chris, it is suspected that that this tweet refers to the revocation of Chris's invitation to the convention,<ref>[[:File:EverfreeNorthwestBansChris.jpg|Everfree Northwest tweet]]</ref> which Null subsequently confirmed. Due to the disturbing and lurid nature of the allegations, hashtags and topics such as #ChrisChan and #CHRISCHANDIDWHAT trended on Twitter, reaching 4th overall trend on July 30th,<ref>[https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-chris-chan-sonichu-comic-creator-leaves-twitter-scandalized-latest-trend Who is Chris Chan? Sonichu comic creator leaves Twitter scandalized with latest trend]</ref> exposing a large number of otherwise uninvolved individuals to the story of Chris-Chan causing the [[Orbiter Wave]].<br />
<br />
On 31 July, Null, who had access to Chris's email (with Chris's permission) since the [[Guard Dogs]] Saga,<ref name="marvinqna">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-chris-chan-extortionists.45366/post-3553571 Marvin answers questions regarding OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/operation-kingsnake.44345/ OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref> found that Chris had received $750.00 from Barb's bank account, meaning he had either contacted Barb or gained access to Barb's bank account himself, either of which would violate the emergency protection order. When confronted, Chris initially denied the accusation, claiming he had "managed to find blessings in the minimum abundance needed." However, upon further questioning Chris about the money, he confirmed that he had had access to Barb's account for some time, contrary to Null's previous assumption that Barb had been in control of Chris's finances and not vice versa. Upset by Chris embezzling from his mother and lying to cover it up, Null finally cut all contact with him, reported the theft to authorities, and canceled the transfer of the GoFundMe money, arranging for it to be refunded to the donors.<ref name=NullTexts>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Chris takes money from Barb]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Arrest==<br />
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|Chris, while being arrested.<ref name=video>[[#Video|Video of Chris's arrest filmed by Killstream crew]]</ref>}}<br />
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|left|400px|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."]]<br />
On the evening of 31 July, Reddit user ''[[Chrisisaman]]'' located [[Son-chu]] at the Regency Inn in [[Richmond]], confirming that Chris was in the city and that he would be spending time in a motel.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210801045236/https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ovlys1/location_confirmed_10_minutes_ago/ Archived Reddit post confirming Chris's location]</ref> The next day, [[Post-Merge Era|a number of people]] attempted to observe or contact Chris there. Observers noticed police cars stationed at the motel, but because the place was known to have a seedy reputation, it was not obvious if they were there for Chris or for some other reason. These cop cars eventually left without arresting Chris.<br />
<br />
The most significant of the observers was YouTuber [[Ethan Ralph]] who livestreamed himself and his friends [[Ween|driving to the motel to meet Chris]]. The group [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2|ordered a pizza]] in the hopes of luring him out, but this was unsuccessful - Chris was apparently too busy messaging [[The WCT]].{{refn|The time Ralph was knocking on Chris's door - about 3:01 PM<ref name=snippet/> - is almost exactly the same as the timestamps on Chris's final messages to The WCT - 3:10 PM.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Chris's final messages]]</ref>}} They then went about knocking on every door on the second floor (Chris had previously been filmed walking along the second floor balcony, suggesting that was where he was staying), but this was fruitless as well, and only led to the menagerie being ordered to leave by a [[Jerkop|motel employee]].<ref name=snippet>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-1-21-ethan-ralph-tries-to-drag-chris-chan-to-his-house.96772/post-9596798 Archived stream snippet]</ref><br />
<br />
Not giving up, the group went to the {{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall}} (of [[Christopher's name change#Leonard Bearstein|'the bear']] fame) across the street, following (incorrect) speculation that Chris might be there since he was not in his room. While livestreaming at the mall they had an encounter with a police officer, who would happen to be one of the officers who arrested Chris a few hours later (as Ethan acknowledges during the arrest).<br />
<br />
Later that afternoon, Ralph was tipped off that four Henrico County police cars had shown up at the motel. At around 6:00 PM, he got back just in time to film two officers perp-walking Chris down from his room, streaming the whole debacle for a live audience of over 3,000 viewers. While the police talked to Chris, Ralph sporadically yelled questions and comments, to which Chris occasionally responded. <br />
<br />
Unlike Chris's previous run-ins with the law, he remained mostly calm and compliant during the arrest (possibly due to [[The WCT]] having [[WCT DMs#Discussing the incest fallout|advised him the previous day]] to cooperate with the police during his arrest), though he rambled about the [[Dimensional Merge]] to both the police and Ralph's crew, promising that the Merge was in fact happening right at that moment. The police then loaded Chris into a squad car and left without answering Ralph's questions.<ref name=video/> An additional POV shot filmed by an anonymous onlooker showed Chris climbing directly into the cop car – the last footage of Chris to date.<br />
<br />
===Video===<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Chris-Chan Arrested<br />
| ytid = EqVo6ADqvgA<br />
| style = {{Tragedy|[[Chris and stress|My Baby Blue Arms]]}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|[[Autism|Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down]]}}<br />
| stardate = 1st [[August 2021]]<br />
| saga = {{Incest|text}} {{Prison|text}}<br />
| previous = <br />
| next = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
'''NOTE''': This transcript begins around 2:24:54, shortly after Ralph changes the perspective on his phone camera.<br />
<br />
{{collapsible|state=mw-collapsed|Transcript|<br />
''[The song "Save Your Tears" by the Weeknd plays in the background, while we see the inside of Ethan Ralph's car.]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': You guys can't see this, but...<br />
<br />
'''Girl''': They're bringing her out! They're bringing her out.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Oh, shit! Oh ''shit''--<br />
<br />
''[The camera pans to a neighboring car, and a girl coming out with her phone to also film the events'']<br />
<br />
'''Girl''': Oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': They're arresting her!<br />
<br />
''[Ralph gets out of the car and walks toward the fence. The woman from earlier is now kneeling with her phone pointing at the motel. Ralph walks past her.]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Sorry.<br />
<br />
''[Camera zooms in on the motel, focusing on the second floor, where the police officers are walking Chris]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, they're arresting Chris-Chan here at the hotel.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': ''(yelling) To the trolls and anybody else on the internet, do not record this!''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': ''(yelling)'' CHRIS-CHAN, ''WHAT'S UP?!'' Killstream, baby! When you get out, let's do the Killstream! Look me up!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Let the charges drop! It's all about [[Null|Joshua Conner Moon]]!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Tell 'em all about Josh Moon, that's who they want!<br />
<br />
''[Bystanders start yelling]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Give it up, Chris-Chan!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Give him up... save yourself, girl!<br />
<br />
'''Another guy in background''': Magi-Chan will help you!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': You're beautiful!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Look up Ethan Ralph, Killstream! I live here in Richmond, buddy!<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Go to church!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': No, come to... come to the Killstream first!<br />
<br />
''[As the cops walk Chris down the stairs, there is more yelling]''<br />
<br />
'''Person below''': ETHAN I BOUGHT YOUR STICKER!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': YEEEAH! What kind of shit is this? Holy shit! Oh my god, thank you!<br />
<br />
''[The cops are now walking Chris past the motel entrance]''<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Got a (indistinct) here!<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Christian Weston Chandler, right here being...<br />
<br />
''[Camera turns past a nearby building as Ralph runs toward the motel parking lot]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Oh, shit, oh! You better hurry Jesse, you're missing out! Hehe.<br />
<br />
''[The camera now zooms in on Chris and three police officers, now standing outside a police car]''<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''':...oh no, (indistinct) transport in the front...<br />
<br />
''[One of the officers says something to Chris that cannot be heard, presumably asking for his name]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': ...Chris-Chan, or Sonichu, as they know...<br />
<br />
''[Stream freezes for a couple seconds]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''':...Chris. (indistinct) Bring 'em...<br />
<br />
''[A fourth officer gets out of one of the police cars]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Hey, officers, how's it going?<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': How you doing? I just saw you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, that's right! That's you, oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Person in background''': Sorry about that, guys.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I told you!<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I'm going, I'm complying...<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I'm complying, I am good like this!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (To Chris) You are, you absolutely are!<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (To Girl) Yeah, I think so. <br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (To Chris) Yeah, you appear to be complying.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I am Chris-Chan Sonichu, your [[CPU Blue Heart|Goddess Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus and Rosechus]] and everybody. <br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, you're live to about 3,000 people right now, Christian!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': How do you plead?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well don't...you're taking everything in stride, you said you're doing good?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Yeah. I keep a good faith everything is going to work out.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Doing good, feeling good?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Yep.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': How's the last few days been? I know it's been pretty [[Stress|stressful]].<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Bit stressful, but... I've taken it one moment at a time and...I've got my...I've got my loves.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well that's good.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Do you, like, Josh Moon, like, did you dirty?<br />
<br />
''[An officer begins frisking Chris, and apparently finds something on his waistband]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (To officer) Oh, well, that's just the one thing, that's a pin. Feel free, just go ahead and take it out, it's a picture of Muffins from ''[[My Little Pony]]''.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Your [[Love Quest]] is over, Chris!<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (To officer) I promise like...I was not (indistinct) to fall... it fell off my bag, I did not want to lose it. And please, I would like that in my collection. (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Hey, Ethan!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': What's up, Jesse?<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': How you doing?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Boy we almost missed it, huh?<br />
<br />
''[Ralph and Jesse laugh]''<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': I was wandering around the mall.<br />
<br />
''[The officer starts searching Chris's left side]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': Well, heh. He's not offering me any options there...<br />
<br />
'''Officer''': I'm just letting you know I'm... (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': I literally ran out to get that (chuckles). This is nuts.<br />
<br />
''[Someone makes a noise in the background]''<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Christine, this man does want to help you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, we were trying to get you on the show, but...look, when you get out, look me up, Killstream. I don't know if you know who I am or not.<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': We're here to help you!<br />
<br />
''[Indistinct yelling in background]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': We saw what Josh was doing to you, so we wanted to come try to talk to you.<br />
<br />
''[The cop finishes his search]''<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': (To Chris) Do you have anything else on you?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I have nothing else on me.<br />
<br />
''[The police officer says something to Chris]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I understand. I have no weed, I have no drugs on (indistinct)... like I said, frisk me, there you go! (chuckles)<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (Chuckles)<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': [[Homos|That felt good]]!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (Laughs loudly)<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': Thank you.<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': Alright, let's have a seat.<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Christine, is the merge coming?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Aight...<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': It's happening now, we're on the very last thread!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (talking over Chris) The Merge, it's happening right now, isn't it?<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': It's happening right now, it is.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': We're living it!<br />
<br />
''[Chris turns to the officers.]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (indistinct) ...Batman into a hero. <br />
<br />
''[Chris sits down as one of the officers points into the back of the police car]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': It's happening right now.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Merge the dimensions, Chris!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Farewell, Chris Chan!<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': (indistinct) The Dimensional Merge is happening right now, August 1, 2021.<br />
<br />
''[Chris disappears into the back of the police car]'' <br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well there goes Chris Chan into the Henrico County... deputy's car here.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Don't let the boulder(?) hit you!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I don't think they've had an... arrest like this.<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': No, don't think so.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': We just got here, too.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': This is like the first time nobody's filming the police.<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': I know.<br />
<br />
''[Everyone laughs]''<br />
<br />
'''Someone else in background''': ...beginning of an era.<br />
<br />
'''Another person in background''': ...did you bring the wallet?<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Which one of you wanted to ask questions?<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Oh I had a chance, but...<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Okay...<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (To officers) Yeah, please do take like good care of her, she is like a good person.<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': I will. I treat everybody the same, man. Alright, y'all have a good day.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Thank you, officers.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Thank you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I appreciate y'all taking enough time for me to get here, too.<br />
<br />
''[Camera turns away from the police cars]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Woww! (breathing heavily) Was that... (camera turns to show Ralph's face) ...was that a scoop or what, ladies and gentlemen? What the, what in the world? Oh as always, falling into my lap here!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (indistinct) ...tell me I didn't make it happen, I told you it was gonna happen.<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Dude... (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': He did, he told me. I wasn't going to come out to all this, but...<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': I can't believe he stayed over here!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': ...we just got the footage, Jesse PS was riding up over here!<br />
<br />
''[End of relevant footage.]''<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Initial jail stay==<br />
[[File:Henrico County Jail West.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Henrico County Jail West]]<br />
[[File:Central Virginia Regional Jail.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Central Virginia Regional Jail]]<br />
At 8:23 PM later that day, Chris was booked into Henrico County Jail West and held without bail.<ref name=charged/><ref name=sun>{{Cite web<br />
| url = https://www.the-sun.com/news/3394847/chris-chan-sonichu-arrested-incest/<br />
| autoarchive = 20210804202308<br />
| title = Chris Chan arrested for ‘incest’ after claims Sonichu comic book creator sexually assaulted family member<br />
| website = The Sun<br />
}}</ref> On 2 August 2021, the Charlottesville CBS affiliate, CBS 19, reported on the case, following the release of a press release from the Greene County Sheriff's Department indicating that Chris had been moved to [[Chris's homes#Central Virginia Regional Jail|Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which serves several rural counties including Greene County.<ref name="press release">Press release on [https://www.cbs19news.com/story/44432363/suspect-arrested-in-sex-crimes-against-family-member-case CBS], [https://www.facebook.com/269663503100241/photos/a.398555170211073/4389133984486485/?type=3 Facebook]</ref><br />
<br />
Calls to the Sheriff's Office confirmed that Chris was being held on a charge of incest. Notably, the charge against Chris is listed on the Henrico Sheriff's Office website as "incest with own child or grandchild",<ref name=charged>[[:File:Charged.png]]</ref> presumably because "incest with own parent" charges are too uncommon to warrant an option for them in the software.<ref>{{Cite farms<br />
|thread = 96776<br />
|post = 9613612<br />
|title = Chris - The Legal Issues - A Prosecutor's Perspective<br />
|user = TherapyMan<br />
|wayback = 20210804182815<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
The record for Chris's custody status initially labelled him as female<ref>[[:File:Chris custody status female gender.png]]</ref> due to him having legally changed the gender marker on his driver's license in 2016.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> It was claimed by sensationalist media that Chris would be housed in a female jail,<ref>https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9859653/Trans-YouTuber-Chris-Chan-39-filed-female-police-housed-women-inmates.html</ref><ref name=tucker>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9PW_XVGWHw Tucker Carlson discusses Chris-Chan]</ref> though this was not confirmed by official sources. The custody status record was updated to list Chris as male without explanation and he was placed in a corresponding facility.<ref name=InsiderGender>[https://www.insider.com/chris-chan-arrest-jail-transgender-trans-woman-men-male-incest-2021-8 After her arrest on an incest charge, Chris Chan is being categorized as male in jail despite being a trans woman]</ref> It is noted that transgender inmates in Virginia are usually only placed in the prison of their identified gender if they have received sex-change surgery,<ref>[https://richmond.com/news/virginia/transgender-prison-inmates-5-to-6-times-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-sexual-assault/article_79c231fd-4d27-5a38-bc48-500301794348.html Transgender prison inmates 5 to 6 times more likely to be victims of sexual assault in U.S., study says]</ref> which Chris has not. On 7 August 2021, conservative media host {{w|Tucker Carlson}} briefly talked about the discourse in a [[wikipedia:Fox News|Fox News]] segment, exposing millions of retired, right-wing boomers to Chris for the first time.<ref name=tucker></ref><br />
<br />
Many observers predicted Chris would not take to an extended jail stay well. However, on August 5, the jail's Captain Hoffman told news, "I've had an interaction with inmate Chandler and it's been fine. Everything is okay."<ref name=InsiderGender/> This surprising revelation could be explained by a [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|letter]] Chris sent from jail in early November, which strongly implies that he has been placed in some form of protective custody to ensure his safety. A [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|previous letter]] he sent in early October confirms that he is being fed well and that he has been able to purchase minor luxuries from the jail's commissary including playing cards, earplugs and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]].<br />
<br />
==Legal proceedings and communications==<br />
The case is being handled by the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court.<ref name=ContinuanceDate>{{Cite farms|thread=105669|title=11/18/2021 - Court case continued into the new year}}</ref> Due to the sensitive nature of the court's cases, it is unknown what details will be publicly available.<br />
<br />
=== First court appearance ===<br />
[[File:HeilbergPortraitNew.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Chris's lawyer, David Heilberg.]]<br />
On 4 August 2021, Kenneth Sneathern, a judge from Greene County's General District Court, assigned David Heilberg to represent Chris, and also transferred the case to Greene's J&DR (Juvenile and Domestic Relations) court for bond.<br />
<br />
During the hearing, Chris requested feminine pronouns be used for himself due to being [[transgender]].<ref name=initial_trial/><br />
<br />
=== Second court appearance ===<br />
On 5 August 2021, Chris appeared before Greene County's J&DR court for the beginning of his arraignment, represented by Charlottesville public defender David Heilberg.<ref name=initial_trial/><br />
<br />
Edwin Consolvo, the attorney representing [[Greene County]], asked presiding judge David M. Barredo to deny Chris bond out of concern for "the community's safety and Ms. Chandler's safety," pointing out that "it’s clear that people sought out where Chandler was staying at a hotel in Henrico and videotaped her arrest." Chris interrupted by loudly saying, "[[Chris and his ego|I'm famous on the internet]]," to which Heilberg advised him not to speak unless spoken to by the court.<br />
<br />
Chris was sworn in to state his case for bond, but instead demanded to be allowed to pick up personal possessions first, saying he would be "willing to proceed with everything if I can get that done."<br />
<br />
Judge Barredo pointed out that bond considerations involve whether a defendant is a flight risk and whether the defendant is a danger to himself, his family, or community. Chris interrupted to say, "she", in reference to his [[transgender]] identity; Barredo responded he was reciting from the state statute.<br />
<br />
Barredo ordered Chris to be held without bond until the preliminary trial on 16 September, listing as reasons the nature of the allegations against Chris and that there appears to be a personal danger to Chris and the public at large. While Heilberg was informing the judge that he sought "[[Autism papers|evaluations]]" of Chris, Chris ''interrupted his own attorney'' by loudly stomping on the floor and demanding "to get everything back home,” claiming "I won’t feel safe proceeding" until he could get the items back.<ref name=initial_trial>[https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html Internet personality "Chris-Chan" in court on incest charge] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210805180746/https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html (archive)]</ref><br />
<br />
Judging by Chris's behavior, it can be inferred that Chris either did not fully understand or [[Chris and remorse|care about]] the seriousness of his charges and the possible [[Chris and negotiation|consequences]], or that he still expected to be saved by the [[Dimensional Merge]].<br />
<br />
On 9 August 2021, Newsweek posted an article on the case, quoting Heilberg, who said that his client was "legally disabled with mental health issues," and called Chris's online antics "a product of mental health issues causing misguided attention seeking and often provocative engagement with others."<ref name=MentalHealth>{{Cite web<br />
| url = https://www.newsweek.com/chris-chans-lawyer-says-mental-health-issues-contributed-incest-charge-1617388<br />
| title = Chris Chan's Lawyer Says 'Mental Health Issues' Contributed to Incest Charge<br />
| last = Beresford<br />
| first = Jack<br />
| website = Newsweek<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
=== Continuance and first letter from jail ===<br />
{{Main|Jail Letter - 19 September 2021}}<br />
[[File:Nullletter1.jpg|thumb|200px|The first page of Chris's letter.]]<br />
Chris's next court appearance was to begin 16 [[September 2021]],<ref name=initial_trial/> but got a continuance before the hearing was even set to commence{{refn|The hearing was scheduled for 10:00 AM;<ref name=initial_trial/> news of the continuance broke at 8:31 AM.<ref name=time>{{Cite farms<br />
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315<br />
| post = 9988888<br />
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance<br />
| autoarchive = 20211022184458<br />
}}</ref>}} due to the defense requesting more time to evaluate Chris's [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]], giving him a brief respite.<ref name=ContinuanceReason>{{Cite farms<br />
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315<br />
| post = 9990379<br />
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance<br />
| autoarchive = 20211022184106<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
Three days later, Chris penned a bizarre letter directed to [[Null]] and defense lawyer David Heilberg, in which he ranted at [[Null]] for turning his back on Chris, and claimed to be [[Jesus Christ]] reincarnated, among other equally batshit statements.<ref name=letter/><br />
<br />
=== More communications from jail ===<br />
{{See also|Jail Communications}}<br />
In [[:Category:Jail Letters|additional correspondences from jail]], Chris provides brief updates on his current experiences and conditions in jail. He would also continue to double down on [[Chris and reality|his delusions]], threaten the weens to not steal things from his house, beg for money for both himself and Barbara, and demand his release from jail. In [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|one of these letters]] Chris rejects a fan's attempt to convert him to Islam. As with his previous replies, he draws comparisons between himself and Allah, and rants more about the [[Dimensional Merge]].<br />
<br />
Chris has also called several people while in jail using the inmate telephone service, although, what Chris says in these calls is not much different from what can be found inside the letters. However, [[Jail Call - 11 January 2022|in one of the calls]], Chris states that he has attempted to call Barbara multiple times, only to receive no answer from her.<br />
<br />
=== Third court appearance ===<br />
<br />
Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18 [[November 2021|November]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Several fans attempted to attend this hearing, but were turned away by courthouse staff,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/qwr53j/tried_going_to_the_hearing_but_was_turned_away_by/</ref> as the hearing was closed at the request of Chris's lawyer.<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref><br />
<br />
Another continuance was granted, with the next hearing taking place after the new year, on 3 [[February 2022]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Chris spent the Thanksgiving, [[Christmas]], and New Years holidays behind bars.<br />
<br />
The 3 February hearing was also closed to the public and resulted in another continuance. As a result, Chris spent his 40th [[Christian Love Day|birthday]] incarcerated and missed out on [[BABSCon]] in April. His next court date is scheduled for 28 [[July 2022]], four days short of the one-year anniversary of his arrest.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11138163}}</ref><br />
<br />
=== Transfer ===<br />
[[File:Transfer.jpg|thumb|200px|Email from VINE confirming the transfer.]]<br />
<br />
On 28 February 2022, the Virginia VINE Service confirmed that Chris had been transferred to another location from Central Virginia Regional Jail.<ref>[https://vinelink.vineapps.com/person-detail/offender/17312020;tabIndexToSelect=0 VINELink page]</ref><ref>{{Cite farms<br />
|thread = 113715<br />
|post = 11292959<br />
|title = Chris transferred to another facility<br />
|user = Turbocuck<br />
|wayback = 20220302065944<br />
}}</ref> Details regarding the circumstances that led to this are not known, but Chris eventually confirmed he had been sent to [[Western State Hospital]].<ref name=1jun>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref><ref group = "note">VINELink could not track Chris in the period of his transfer, so wherever he was placed is not a jail. The courts are required by law to say if Chris was transferred to a prison. The transfer status would be "Released" if Chris was sent back to his house. When called, CVRJ says the information is "Privileged" which usually means medical.</ref> This was due to a competency evaluation following his third hearing, so he could be "educated" on court proceedings for his July hearing.<br />
[[File:Inmate No Longer Here.jpg|thumb|left|A letter to Chris's jail being rejected due to him being transferred.]]<br />
Someone claiming to work for an EMS later private messaged the CWCki Jerkop [[User:Larry the Larryhog|Larry the Larryhog]] about Chris's record.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-31#post-11335917 Kiwi Farms post regarding Chris's record]</ref> They claimed that Chris was transferred via ambulance with a law enforcement escort and that Chris was able to receive narcotic sedative when needed (though the claims are yet to be verified). A Kiwi Farms member claimed that Chris may have been brought to Western State Hospital,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-15#post-11307353 Kiwi Farms post claiming that Chris was transferred to the Western State Hospital]</ref> which specializes in mental disorders, and this was eventually confirmed by [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]], in which Chris revealed details indicating Western State Hospital.<br />
<br />
=== Second Transfer ===<br />
[[File:May3jailconfirmed.PNG|thumb|200px]]<br />
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's third mugshot. The shit eating grin on his face has faded away, and all it took was a simple game of [[Jail_Letter_-_1_June_2022|Pin The Autistic a day before his return]].]]<br />
Chris was transferred back to the Central Virginia Regional Jail on 3 [[May 2022]]. A mugshot that was taken after the transfer, the first photo of him since [[August 2021]], shows Chris noticeably thinner, with longer hair, more sunken-in eyes, and looking much more gaunt and less enthusiastic than he did previously. This was apparently due to a second [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pin-me-down]] event occuring shortly before, likely from [[Chris and anger|a violent outburst or other such altercation]] with the orderlies.<ref name=1jun></ref><br />
<br />
=== Fourth court appearance and Grand Jury ===<br />
<br />
{{Protip|Chris has been sent to Grand Jury, not trial. It is not known for certain if Chris has received any felony charges, or if his case has been upgraded.}}<br />
<br />
Chris's fourth court appearance was scheduled for 10:00AM EDT on 28 [[July 2022]]<ref>https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1002207497098105012/1002207619286577203/2022-07-28_06-31-26.mov</ref> as revealed by a call from an anonymous Discord user to the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court. It has to be noted that the courthouse gave this information out freely and without asking any further questions about the inquiry.<br />
<br />
[[Kenneth Engelhardt]] had confirmed that Chris has been sent to a <abbr title="A jury of peers who decides if the state has enough evidence to charge someone for a crime, or if someone is competent to stand for trial">grand jury</abbr> for potential felony charges.<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxonion|I just called the Clerk of Court for Greene County regarding CWC. Yes it is verified this is going before a grand jury on felony charges.}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Proof Call<br />
| ytid = 2uQkwRB8njA<br />
| style = <br />
| stardate = 28 July 2022<br />
| saga = {{Prison|text}}<br />
| previous = <br />
| next = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Looking forward ===<br />
Exactly what is next for Chris will be heavily influenced by the outcome of the legal processes involved. Son-mother incest is a Class 5 felony in Virginia.<ref>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter8/section18.2-366/</ref> Class 5 is a wobbler felony which can either remain as a felony or be downgraded to a misdemeanor.<ref>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter1/section18.2-10/</ref><ref>https://www.silislaw.com/blog/2014/april/virginia-criminal-law-basics-felonies/</ref> The J&DR court - which is currently handling the case - can only deal with misdemeanor charges, with a possibility that the case could be transferred back to General District to be prosecuted as a felony. The maximum jail sentence for a misdemeanor incest charge in Virginia is one year, meaning that if Chris's charges remain downgraded to misdemeanor status, he should be released no later than 1 [[August 2022]], even if the case is for some reason continued beyond that date. If his charge is upgraded to a felony, he could be facing a [[Kick the autistic|much longer sentence]]; the maximum sentence for felony incest is 10 years, and the maximum sentence for rape is life. If Barb is found to have been physically incapacitated, Chris will be placed on the [[List_of_places_that_have_banned_Chris#Looking_ahead|sex offender registry]] for a minimum of fifteen years when (or if) he gets out.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210318155920/http://sex-offender.vsp.virginia.gov/sor/statutes.html</ref> In addition, if Chris is charged with a felony, his subsequent legal proceedings must be open to the public.<br />
<br />
Many observers suspect that Chris' lawyer is trying to get him to take up a plea deal with a year of time served, although Chris himself seems convinced [[Chris and his ego|that he will be found not guilty]], [[Honor Roll|despite effectively confessing to the act of incest multiple times]] in both the [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]]. As it stands, pleading "not guilty" will most likely result in Chris getting a tougher sentence in the event of a conviction.<br />
<br />
Further complicating matters is that as early as [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|11 May 2022]], Chris began denying he had ever engaged in any sexual affairs with Barb (despite previously stating he had in the [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]]), even claiming that Bella confessed to fabricating information during the call without any clarification whatsoever.<ref name=1jun></ref> Needless to say, if Chris were to intentionally give false statements in a court of law, it would be digging a deeper hole for him, given existing evidence.<br />
<br />
If Barb consented (which would be consistent with [[Barbara_Chandler#Spooning|Barb's long-known uncomfortably touchy-feely behavior around Chris]]), she could be charged as a willing accomplice. However, if she did not or could not consent, Chris could be facing a potential rape charge, which would almost certainly net him a possible life sentence. Whether or not he will be allowed to take up parole will be up to the State of Virginia to decide, given the severity of such charges. However, Chris alleges that Heilberg told him that Barbara was never questioned about her involvement in the incest on account of her old age.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]]</ref><br />
<br />
If Chris is deemed too incompetent to stand trial, as many assume he has been after his third hearing in February 2022, he may be taken back to the mental hospital he stayed at previously and be held there against his will as long as he is still considered incompetent, even if he is not convicted of anything. He may still be able to take up a plea deal in Summer 2022 if his mental state improves, but with [[Chris and reality|Chris's perception of reality long since having crashed and burned]], and it being presently unclear if he can overcome his severe delusions, it remains to be seen if he will spend the remainder of his sentencing either behind bars or in the care of medical professionals.<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Sonichu Saves Chris Chan from Prison to Fight Clyde Cash & Liquid Chris!<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-BCDY1xWcUM}}<br />
| stardate = 11 [[September 2021]]<br />
| maker = sheWIND<br />
| subject = Chris in jail<br />
| type = Animation<br />
| info = "Christine Weston Chandler, aka Chris Chan, mayor of Cwcville, is rescued by the demential merge after going to jail for hurting Barb by Sonichu to have a final battle against some of his strongest trolls, Clyde Cash and Liquid Chris!!"<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = chris chan in prison<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Yq3D_ohKXw}}<br />
| stardate = 3 [[January 2022]]<br />
| maker = Antonio Prola<br />
| subject = Chris in jail<br />
| info = "......you know the how expression too many cooks spoil the broth? Well t- this was too many crooks! Too many CROOKS! TOO many CROOKS! And that ED page is one of those crooks. Every page. Every word. On the discussion page. Is a crook."<br />
<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[28 October 2011]]<br />
*[[26 December 2014]]<br />
*[[Post-Merge Era]]<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{IncestSaga}}<br />
{{PrisonSaga}}<br />
{{Law}}<br />
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Giant_Penis_Comic&diff=295137Giant Penis Comic2022-07-20T06:44:48Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Gallery */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{honest}}<br />
{{quote|I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of his dick in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).|Ivy's response to a question in [[Ivy Q&A]]}}<br />
<br />
The '''Giant Penis Comic''' (officially '''''Sonichu'' Comic Special 3''', also known colloquially as '''PENIS COMIC''' in the [[Audiobooks]] adaptation) is a short comic drawn by [[Chris]], depicting his [[Chris and sex|wedding night]] with [[Ivy]]. It was hacked and published by [[The Miscreants]] on [[April 2009|29 April 2009]]. Besides being a true masterpiece of romance and artistic integrity, it's also notable for having a probable outline of Chris's [[Duck|penis]]. Shakespeare would be proud.<br />
<br />
==Story==<br />
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|The Giant Penis in question. (Along with realistically-proportioned testicles.)]]<br />
<br />
Following the events of Chris and Ivy's [[Wedding Comic|wedding]], Chris meets with Ivy's father [[Officer Keino]] who, it is worth noting, looks eerily like [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Home_movies|coach John McGuirk]] from [[Adult Swim]]'s [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]. Chris immediately begins brown-nosing his new father-in-law, displaying the utmost respect to both the man and the uniform. (This is especially hilarious considering Chris's issues with [[Jerkops]], and [[Bagget]] in particular). It is also worth noting Chris salutes him with the "favored two finger Wolf Scout Salute"- Wolf Scouts are the second level of Boy Scouts, roughly 6-8 years old. Keino launches into a speech about what a great man Chris is and how he admires the tribulations our hero has endured. He entrusts Ivy to Chris's "[[Mass debating|strong, capable hands]]," which makes no sense, as usually the father of the bride gives his blessing ''before'' the wedding; instead we have Keino granting Chris permission to fuck his daughter.<br />
<br />
We then see Chris and Ivy checking into the Double-CWC Hotel (A [[Random-access humor|pun]] on the phrase ''double quick'', and confirming that we are indeed still in [[CWCville]]). Chris has also left his pony-drawn carriage in the middle of the driveway leading to the hotel, where Chris has reserved a luxurious penthouse suite (even though the exterior of the hotel does not show a [[Wikipedia:Penthouse apartment|penthouse]], nor do we see that their "[[Wikipedia:Suite (hotel)|suite]]" contains any more than one room). Chris has of course thought of everything—the room is set up with no fewer than five [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Glade Plug-Ins brand air fresheners]], and they will be sharing a meal of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, greens and chocolate pudding- because every honeymoon should be within the hometown and consist of a romantic $10 microwavable meal.<br />
<br />
Chris carries [[Ivy]] over the threshold and they are almost immediately [[Nudes|naked]]. Before this, Chris is somehow in [[The Classic]] and jeans, implying he wore all of this underneath his suit, or they changed, then proceeded to get naked once again- and Ivy is wearing only a white blouse and bright-pink panties, something that would show through her white dress. Chris stands, displaying his almighty [[duck]], which he draws as gigantic, equal in thickness to his legs. The tip is as large as his own head. Chris seems indeed to have done as Ivy said and traced his real penis - the crookedness is highly evident. [[Anime]] speedlines whiz past both Chris and Ivy's naked forms, suggesting that they are about to lose their respective virginities in a high-speed collision. An intense study will reveal that the speedlines are only there to cover up the fact that Chris began to draw a huge scrotum proportionate to his penis (he was probably tracing that, too). It is still visible as a half-circle, complete with half-finished pubes partially covered up by speedlines. The redrawn scrotum is free of pubes and woefully small in comparison to his inhumanly large penis.<br />
<br />
The newlyweds copulate for all of one panel before they both transform- Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], and Ivy into her [[Ivy|Princess Ivy]] fursona (even though Ivy is not wearing the Rosechu Medallion, as Chris stated his future bride would wear it, and instead she wears a star-shaped medallion- why she didn't transform when captured by Clyde is not known). The two wretched creatures assume the [[Wikipedia:Doggy style|doggy-style position]], and fuck into the wee hours. As they achieve simultaneous orgasms, both Chris and Ivy have stars in their eyes as they share a solemn thanking of [[Chris and religion|God]], but not Jesus, for allowing them to find true furfag happiness.<br />
<br />
The comic ends with the two gorging themselves on their $10 chicken dinner, making a toast with wine glasses filled with [[CWC Cola|CWC Orange Soda]], and [[Semen|God knows what else.]] Chris and Ivy share a feeble attempt at humor that was lifted from ''Home Movies''. Strangely enough, despite this comic being set the night after Chris's wedding, neither he nor his bride are depicted wearing their wedding bands. If you look carefully though, there is what appears to be a pair of copper rings on Chris's right hand, indicating a half-hearted attempt, but they are infrequently drawn, and Ivy isn't drawn with a ring at any point. The furry sex was clearly more important to set to paper than consistently and correctly drawing the outward sign of his Christian matrimony.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P1.jpg|HEY BRENDON, why am I in a shitty comic by an autistic manchild?<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P2.jpg|Ivy used too much botox. Also, note the "romantic" dinner and dessert planned.<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|This is a "penthouse suite". Also, bathroom air fresheners are a big turn on: use eight of them!<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg|Chris's extraordinary sense of dimension has finally got him laid. His magically-changing outfit was probably a big help, too.<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|Chris can't escape his bent [[duck]] even in his comics. <br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|Then the yiffing commences. Notice Chris draws himself and Ivy better as furries than as real people.<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg|THANK YOU GOD! It's over!<br />
Image:SchuComicSP3P8.jpg|Lines [[Things Chris has ripped off|stolen]] from Home Movies. Lines that were intentionally unromantic!<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[https://gofile.io/d/JlutZq Download the Giant Penis Comic]<br />
<br />
{{IvySaga}}<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]][[Category: Ivy Saga]][[Category:Rule 34]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=294885Weening2022-07-17T02:31:33Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* What weening is NOT */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Stating to encourage other people commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful as weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively gory, perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly-made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community by donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, or making and sending him parody comics is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame, or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=294884Weening2022-07-17T02:29:45Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* What weening is NOT */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Stating to encourage other people commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
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Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fan fiction, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively gory, perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly-made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community by donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, or making and sending him parody comics is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame, or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=294883Weening2022-07-17T02:28:32Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* What weening is NOT */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Stating to encourage other people commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interest or interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his misadventures. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfic, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively gory, perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly-made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community by donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, or making and sending him parody comics is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame, or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]], the prime example of how attempted trolling can backfire.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=292212Weening2022-06-28T05:11:38Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Stating to intend making Chris/other people commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to aiding and/or encouraging other weens or Chris himself to do so. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his antics. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfic, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively gory, perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly-made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community by donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, or making and sending him parody comics is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame, or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Weening&diff=292211Weening2022-06-28T05:09:51Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|Are you 6-years-old or somethin'?|[[Bob Chandler]] outsmarting a ween attempting to [[prank call]] Chris.}}<br />
[[File:PraetorTaserBox.jpg|thumb|Stating to intend making Chris/other people commit serious crimes is classic weenery.]]<br />
{{quote|Don’t worry about those weens; you know you are safe around me and [[Polyamorous marriage|my Loves]]. 😊⚡️💙⚡️|Chris, attempting to persuade a fan weens won't hassle them at [[BronyCon]]<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1020049863961120768</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
'''Weening''' or '''failtrolling''' is the act of attempting to troll someone, but ultimately failing at it the whole way through, and not receiving any significant results, typically due to inexperience with lolcow culture. The people that do this are often referred to as '''Weens'''. A corruption of the phrase "epic win", weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the antics of prominent trolls, without being aware that there was much [[Chris and manipulation|manipulation]] behind the scenes to goad Chris into performing for the trolls, and therefore just embarrass themselves.<ref group = "note">In many cases, the modern, albiet much more controversial, incarnations of prominent trolls have figured this out.</ref><br />
<br />
Think we're exaggerating? Maybe some videos will help get the point across.<br />
<br />
<center>{{#ev:youtube|O4mkAw9Be-k}}<br />
{{#ev:archiveorg|youtube-4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center><br />
<br />
==Examples of weening==<br />
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.]]<br />
[[File:Paying to ween.png|thumb|A ween pays Chris money on livestream in order to post shit he doesn't even read.]]<br />
[[File:ChangeorgGOPony2.jpg|thumb|A ween-made Change.org petition put in Chris's name.]]<br />
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]<br />
<br />
* Elaborate trolling plans that end up failing.<br />
* Falsely [[White knight|white-knighting]] Chris to befriend him and get whatever you want out of him. The [[CWCProtectSquad]] is a notorious example of this.<br />
* Prank-calling Chris. Double dumbass points if it's just to yell "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!]]", "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]/[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|SOMETHING]]!", or other ancient memes.<br />
* Prank takeaway deliveries under Chris' name and address. Not only is this just ''unfunny'' for anyone involved (on top of wasting both money and food), but numerous restaurants in Chris's area (namely Papa John's) have blacklisted his address precisely to prevent this.<br />
* A-Logging. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the two often overlap. [[A-Logging|A-Log]] himself was as much of a ween as your average A-Log in numerous ways.<br />
* Enabling Chris's fantastical beliefs. Chris's mind is already fucked up on its own merits, and people such as the Idea Guys have done more than enough in terms of mental damage on him. Once again, please note that although not all weens are enablers and vice versa, they tend to overlap. <br />
* Making fake [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] profiles of people Chris follows. <br />
* Spamming Chris's Facebook pages with random pictures of his old triggers to try and get a rise out of him; such as of [[pickles]], [[homos]] or [[Sonic]]'s redesign in ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.<br />
* Scathing e-mails, letters, or social media messages.<br />
* Butting into conversations Chris is having with other people online, especially if he isn't doing anything particularly wrong at the moment (which is almost 99% of the time). This was sadly way too common with the [[DoopieDoOver]] saga.<br />
* Attempting to contact people who once interacted with Chris but have since cut off all ties with him ([[Megan]], [[Cole]], [[the Wallflower]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Michael Snyder]], etc.) and drag them back into the spotlight against their wishes.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction that "wittily" deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'', ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' and ''CWCollateral'' not only '''all''' already did this, but have also milked the concept for everything it's worth; it's time to move on.<br />
* Terrible fanfiction and fanart that focuses solely on murdering Sonichu characters, as seen in the picture below-right. Double dumbass points if focusing predominantly on the slaughter of [[Sonees and Roseys]].<br />
* Mass reporting in an attempt to get his social media accounts shut down.<br />
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Chris and art|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.<br />
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where Christorians lurk, or even in places where most of the members don't even know about Chris. Either way, it's very annoying.<br />
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct in feedback on sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].<br />
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at doing [[Chris and art|commissions]] and participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.<br />
* [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|Sending Chris a glitter bomb.]]<br />
* Sending letters for [[PewDiePie]] to Chris's address.<br />
* Making [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y87AvTrK9Dc terrible rap songs] about Chris.<br />
* [[TF2 Analysis|Harassing bronies whose content Chris enjoys into blocking him on Twitter.]]<br />
* [https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/e3vdae/the_result_of_what_happened_when_i_tried_to/| Re-creating his Wikipedia page as a social experiment.] <br />
* Spamming his tweets with "Where's the comics?". He's not going to respond, so don't even try.<br />
* It may be just plain sad to say, but even telling Chris to "get a job" has become ween lingo.<br />
* Hacking into Chris's YouTube account to upload a video of someone screaming "JULAAAAY"!<br />
* Sending letters to Chris while he's in jail to persuade him into saying or doing things while [[Messiah complex|under the belief he is Jesus]].<br />
* [[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|Translating Ian Brandon Anderson into a writing system Chris doesn’t understand and telling him it’s a blessing in another language.]]<br />
* Writing a fake letter, claiming it to be sent by Chris in an undisclosed location, and directing it towards another lolcow.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=49854|post=11683809}}</ref><br />
* Worst of all, [[Chris and the law|breaking the law]] and [[A-Logging#There.27s_no_legal_defense_over_attacking_Chris_for_real|needlessly risking a life-altering criminal record]] in pursuit of lulz. This includes, but is certainly not limited to; vandalizing or trespassing on Chris's [[14 Branchland Court|property]] (which includes egging his house), illegally recording telephone conversations, stalking and harassment of him, his mother and the rest of their extended family, stealing from them, [[Idea Guys|extortion]], or [[Death threats|threatening them]] with violence or even outright murder. This also applies to encouraging other weens or Chris himself to commit said crimes. '''We ''really'' shouldn't have to say it at this point, but for fuck's sake, ''DON'T DO ANY OF THIS.'''''<br />
<br />
== What weening is NOT ==<br />
As annoying and unhelpful weening is, the term has ended up being severely misused by much of the CWCsphere, to the point where some consider it to be ''any'' form of interaction at any point with Chris or the world relating to him and his antics. As such, it's important to keep in mind what actions are not considered the correct definition of the term:<br />
* Casual observation and discussion of Chris and his circumstances, in places (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]], or [[Kiwi Farms]]) where they are permitted and/or actually relevant to the topic at hand.<br />
* Any trolling plan that actually succeeds to some extent; be it good or bad for Chris, original or cringey, et cetera.<ref group="note">About 99.9% of the time, this doesn't happen, so don't bother trying.</ref><br />
* Asking [[FAQ|basic, repetitive Chris questions]] as a newbie. Regardless of if it's to do with recent events or those from the [[Christorical_eras#Classic_Trolling:_2007_to_2010|Classic Era]] and such, even the most devoted Christorians had to start somewhere. <br />
* Coming up with speculative Christory based on past and ongoing events.<br />
* Making fan media (art, fanfic, animations, cosplay, etc.) of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' series]], so long as it's not excessively gory, perverse, grotesque or intentionally poorly-made, and you don't go out of your way to show it to Chris.<br />
* Helping to document and provide information on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come. The same goes for any corrections and confirmations (with appropriate evidence) of ambiguous and/or unconfirmed information.<br />
* Visiting public locations where Chris is well-known to have been or is otherwise associated with; such as the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[The GAMe PLACe|Gearharts]], [[The End Games]] or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Of course, this is so long as you don't try to failtroll or otherwise harass anyone for info on Chris. If you do visit these places, consider doing some good out of it as well by supporting them and the local community by donating to (if applicable) and/or purchasing from them. <br />
* Visiting [[14 Branchland Court]], so long as it doesn't involve illegally trespassing or trying to harass Barb or anyone who resides there.<br />
<br />
==Arguments against trolling attempts==<br />
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off their hard work.]]<br />
<br />
Now, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who still think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" or "'''IAN! BRANNON! SOMETHING!!!'''" at Chris, spamming his Twitter with pickles, or making and sending him parody comics is the height of wit. You've come up with a great plan to really get under Chris's skin, bring back the good old days and all that shit. However, <del>while you ''may'' in fact be that guy,</del> 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask?<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is nothing like his former self===<br />
<br />
Chris has gone a long way since his internet debut on the Something Awful Forums. He has gone from a simple-minded man with child-like tendencies that made a bunch of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics which are so bad they're fascinating]], to a jaded, chronically-depressed and mentally-disturbed hippie that’s formed a small doomsday cult around said comics. <br />
<br />
It is important to note that Chris, although still very gullible and severely detached from reality, is (debatably) still a thinking person. Whatever gets him riled up nowadays ultimately depends on the time and situation. Therefore, a lot of [[Sonic Boom|the]] [[Pickle|commonly]] [[Homos|associated]] [[Asperger syndrome|triggers]] he may or may not have had some time ago will not necessarily transfer over to the present day.<br />
<br />
It should also be noted that, because of this change in perspective, trolling hits differently in this day and age than it did before Chris lost his father; which is incidentally the point where most of Chris's most famous trolls opted to leave him alone. The general culture around Chris-Chan himself has changed significantly as well; while past trolls like [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] were praised for a time, and are still fondly remembered and respected by those who don't see them as being as bad as Chris, the days of trolling Chris as the heteronormative, egoistical manchild have faded to trolling Chris as a mentally-ill, self-destructive, broken shell of a human being. The only people to really succeed in gaining infamy comparable to the trolls of the Classic Era – such as the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] – are subsequently derided as the perverted, exploitative abusers that they are, rather than treated as internet legends.<br />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that most trolling attempts no longer phase Chris at all. And those that do somehow succeed are only viewed as [[Enablers|further support for his cult]]. Therefore, you should never expect to be [[The Miscreants|one of the cool kids]] just by failtrolling Chris. Times have changed, so it’s best to move onto better targets. This leads us into the next point.<br />
<br />
===There are much better targets than Chris===<br />
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not make yourself useful and apply that same effort to going after better victims? As much as the CWCki analyses and discusses in detail [[Tomgirl|his]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|numerous]] [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|per]][[Chris and reality|son]][[Chris and hypocrisy|ali]][[Chris and Remorse|ty]] [[Chris and anger|fla]][[Chris and race|ws]], Chris doesn't even come ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. [[Beel|Neo-nazis]] and [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|other hate groups]], [[white knight|social justice warriors]], [[Blanca Weiss|abusive lovers]] and [[Barb|parents]], [[Joshua Martinez|scam artists]], [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and [[Zapina Rosechu|ephebophiles]], [[Allison Amber|corrupt]] [[Pmurt|politicians]] and [[4-cent_garbage.com|corporations]], [[Angelica Rosechu|religious zealots]], [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|zoophiles]] [[Clover and Snoopy|and other animal abusers]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan|hackers, script kiddies and malware writers/distributers]], [[JuggaloShoutOut|gang]] [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|members]], [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorists and their online recruiters]], [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], [[Enablers]], [[Carpetbaggers]], and many other assorted shitbirds are much, ''much'' more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.<br />
<br />
Even if you don't give a shit who the trollbait is as long as you get Laughs Under Lucricities, the Chris of today just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be; as discussed beforehand. The amount of effort you would need to put into navigating around his paranoia and autistic sensibilities would be staggering to say the least. And even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, ''what is there left to do to him?'' Anything amusing about him has already been exhausted, except the shit he does on his own initiative, also discussed further below. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow; as much as you may try to milk it, you'll be hard-pressed not to get only cobwebs, dust and shrivelled dead insects in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit and humiliation.<br />
<br />
For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any other Internet jackass is because he's relatively well-known even today, and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.<br />
<br />
===The Chris of today is not (quite) as gullible as he used to be===<br />
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was in 2007. However, since then Chris has gradually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], [[Prank calls#Batman Call|Batman]], [[Vanessa Hudgens]], someone from his past, or [[Savannah Chandler|even his own relatives]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme distrust of anyone who tries to contact him, to the extent where he's even turned down legitimate attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at [[high school]] or [[college]].<br />
<br />
This hasn't been helped at all by weens; according to [[Seinor prom|seinor]] trolls, Chris was once contacted by ''10 people'' claiming to be Megan at the same time, all of them claiming to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Megan and telling him not to believe the others.<br />
<br />
Chris also vets those who try to bait him with fake social media accounts of people he follows. Weens tried this during the Doopie saga, only for Chris to embarrass them by thoroughly debunking their claims, complete with evidence.<ref>[[Misc texts#Fake Doopie profile]]</ref><ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Outsmarted a ween, with help of Kiwi Farms]]</ref><br />
<br />
As of today, Chris simply doesn’t care about whatever hackneyed, inane scheme you’ve come up with for him. Even the most persistent attempts at bribery don’t seem to affect him as much as they used to.<br />
<br />
===Your idea is probably not original===<br />
[[File:NotLiquidComic.jpg|thumb|left|A tryhard trying to rehash Liquid Chris's success... somehow drawn even ''worse'' than ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' itself.]]<br />
Whatever your scheme is, it's probably been done before, and most likely better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a DANG, DIRTY IMPOSTER whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame, or convincing Chris to [[The MovingFoward videos|destroy his own life upgrade on-camera]] in an attempt to claim [[Trollin Train|a $9,001 bounty that never actually existed]], or even simply pulling some strings to [[Bob Walks In|have Chris's father walk in on him masturbating]]. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some incredibly minor variation on something that's already been done; like for example, ''"what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?"'' or ''"what if we got him to see another parody of his comic?"''. In short, you're wasting your time trying to rehash older trolling events, because we've all seen it before. More importantly, so has Chris; so from experience, he very likely knows where you're going with it, too.<br />
<br />
===Weenery discourages Chris from producing content===<br />
Chris is at his most productive when he believes he has lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loves him. Most agree that weenery is detrimental to this strange, symbiotic relationship, and it is considered to be one of the predominant causes of the slump in content between 2011 and 2014. In that time, Chris entered a hiatus as a result of a combination of mourning for his [[Bob|then-recently deceased father]], and a constant stream of weenery over the years that made him think of himself as a victim who wouldn't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he became far more private, meaning barely any content for us. Only four years after 2011 did he re-emerge from this hiatus.<br />
<br />
It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces much better content when left to his own devices. Since his semi-retreat from the public eye after his father's death and before he was jailed for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], Chris has been [[28 October 2011|prosecuted]] [[26 December 2014|twice]], concocted [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|outlandish conspiracy theories]] centered on [[Megan Schroeder|someone he hasn't spoken to for years]], [[10 January 2014|accidentally set fire to his house]], eventually continued working on the previously-unfinished [[Sonichu #11]] again, and [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced his own taint open with a knife]] as part of a hair-brained attempt to grow his own [[china]]; all of this without any impetus from the trolls. Likewise, let's not forget the entire [[Mary Lee Walsh]] saga (along with at least [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] independent blogs of Chris' bizarre mannerisms and behaviors) happened before he even rose to fame. Don't try and rush the master of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].<br />
<br />
===If you fail hard enough, you will become a target for trolls yourself===<br />
[[File:NullvulgarWeen.jpg|thumb|During the [[Guard Dogs|Guard Dog]] [[saga]], [[Null]] saw to it that weens would face particularly aggressive responses if they attempted to lure Chris through e-mail.]]<br />
Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto is ''the'' textbook example of trolling backfiring on the would-be troll, and it's important to remember that he would never have attracted the attention of the internet if he had simply toned down the vitriol enough to make it less obvious that he was absolutely obsessed with Chris. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of hysteria and monomania over someone they had never even met would have had some skeletons in their own closet; and as it turns out, A-Log had more than a few. These included homemade yiff fanfiction featuring a [[duck|tellingly moderately-endowed]] fox OC, a huge cache of disturbing cartoon Rule 34 (a noticeable portion of which included [[Pedofork|underage characters]]), a laughably-poor college radio show from which he almost got fired after being caught watching pornography in the studio, and a video where A-Log does an excruciatingly unfunny stand-up "comedy" bit, revolving almost entirely around attacking Chris and what the radio was playing at the time; all before a crowd who, judging by their reaction, had never even heard of Chris.<br />
<br />
Another more recent example of the same thing happening to a ween is the case of [[Michael Hirtes]]. After a myriad of sockpuppet accounts, spam messages to Chris and anyone he conversed with numbering in the thousands (mostly consisting of outdated memes and ''ad hominem'' attacks) and enough angry rants for him to ''also'' be described as being truly obsessed with Chris, it naturally led to some digging. Sure enough, Hirtes was revealed to be an unemployed furry who is even older at 53 years old, even less mature and more prone to [[Chris and Anger|tard rage]] than Chris, and having a number of highly-embarrassing things to his name; including criminal convictions and a newspaper article of him in a fursuit discussing yiffing. Consequently, he became a huge laughing stock overnight; not only turning into a lolcow himself, but it even got to be the point where [[Michael Hirtes#Chris's view on Hirtes|Chris himself dismissed Hirtes, and by extension everything he'd done, as an irrelevance]].<br />
<br />
By the same token, obsessive and excessive weenery is dangerously likely to get you noticed by other trolls; who will, in turn, start trolling you because of that and anything else they notice about you, hoisting you on your own petard. In other words, it's akin to plugging in a huge neon sign pointing the trolls straight to your collection of ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] x Anne Frank'' slash fiction and boy band shrines.<br />
<br />
Even successful trolls can become targets: after several months manipulating Chris, the [[Idea Guys]] had their real-world identities exposed in the first half of [[2018]]. Between [[October 2017]] and [[March 2020]], [[Kiwi Farms]] officially encouraged users to <abbr title="Publish identifying information, such as home addresses.">dox</abbr> weens as a deterrent.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/ Lunatics who attack a mentally handicapped person: Your name here]</ref> Several would-be weens have been foiled this way, and the effects have possibly spread into their real lives. Chris himself has also carelessly exposed those who try to interact with him while remaining anonymous.<ref>[[Other enablers#Sarah and Steven]]</ref> Remember, there is an [[Special:ActiveUsers|energetic community]] devoted to recording every facet of Chris's life and interactions. '''You ''will'' be noticed''', and as covered in more detail below; the attention you'll end up receiving will likely be the undesirable kind, even if you ''do'' somehow catch Chris's attention.<br />
<br />
Due to her edgy behavior, [[A-logging]] directed towards Chris, her attempts at being a Chris troll, attempts at weening Chris, and the bullying of other students at her university; [[Bella]] has been deemed one of Chris's most corrupt trolls due to unproven claims regarding her interactions with Chris being propagated, and is widely disgraced by the greater CWCsphere as a result.<br />
<br />
===Even if you do succeed, you will likely regret it later===<br />
{{quote|Chris-Chan is — he’s an enigma which to so many people — [[CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions#Trolling|they thought he was a troll]]. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real”, because he’s like, the saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him, and people are like, “bring it back!”. And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE”. It’s like, depressing — it’s not the golden age — it’s the depressing age.|Spazkid, on the unwanted attention he receives from weens to this day.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|There's been tons of things in my life I've regretted and hated doing later on, [[Saga#Julie Saga .28February - March 2009.29|all of the stuff from 10 years ago]] was one of them. I've moved past everything that happened those many years ago and obviously I'm a different person now. It wasn't funny and was a very a-log thing to do. Nothing much else I can say.|[[BlueSpike]], reflecting on his time since the Julie Saga.}}<br />
<br />
All too often, trolls that do somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris end up getting more than they bargained for. For example, Spazkid stopped making ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' when he began to pity Chris and realized he wasn't worth trolling (on top of a lot of unseen drama involved with the series' writers and voice actors), but still regularly finds himself, as seen above, hounded by obsessive weens and A-Logs to keep making it against his wishes. Liquid Chris may have to spend a long time fending off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an [[slow-in-the-minds|emotionally vulnerable autistic man]] for his own amusement. BlueSpike will turn 30 someday, and even then will still be thought of as the crazed, sadistic pervert who, [[Pedofork|at the age of 13]], willingly listened to a 27-year-old [[CWC Cums for a Cat|masturbate repeatedly for]] [[Bob Walks In|hours on end]] and [[Julie reveals herself|forced him to shove a broken clay medallion up his ass]]; even after [[BlueSpike#Today|he has since considerably matured and openly shown remorse for his previous actions]]. The Idea Guys may have to deal with many long-term legal troubles one day for manipulating a mentally-handicapped man into abusing himself and extorting frivolities and large sums of money from him; all for a stupid, cruel joke that amused no one but themselves. <br />
<br />
To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. Do you think [[Adam Stackhouse]] enjoys being inundated by various unwanted ''"you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!"'' messages in his e-mail inbox, especially since [[Adam Stackhouse#Adam revisited|he openly made peace with Chris in 2018?]] Or that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] appreciates seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google? Or that [[Michael Snyder]] likes being constantly reminded by weens of [[28 October 2011|being harassed and hit by a car]] through misguided attempts to praise him, or [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Today|being tormented about said events, almost ''a decade'' later, on the guestbook of his own father's funeral?]] In all of these cases, the answer is a big, fat '''NO'''.<br />
<br />
===There is absolutely nothing left to gain from Chris or the community surrounding him===<br />
What is probably the most simple grounds of all to not ween is also the most important for a number of reasons. <br />
<br />
As seen above, not only does Chris no longer have amusing reactions to anything that comes his way as in the past, he is no longer in any position ([[Chris and reality|or ''condition'', for that matter]]) to produce more art, comics or commissions for people to look forward to, and can no longer be considered someone to (even ironically) root for, ever since his fall from being a comedic and sometimes morally-questionable but mostly harmless buffoon into a truly indefensible and disturbing individual. Apart from what he sporadically writes or rambles about in his [[Prison communications|letters and phone calls from jail]], the wellspring of anything truly fascinating, endearing or amusing about him has long since run dry. Ever since Chris has been known to have had [[Affair with Mother|sexual relations with his own mother]], Weening and A-Logging are considered to be especially pathetic; [[A-Logging#The_legal_system_will_deal_with_Chris|the law itself will now officially deal with Chris properly]] (as opposed to a rag-tag lynch mob of idiots on the internet; who now, by-and-large, have no access to him anymore regardless), and [[A-Logging#Being better than Chris is not and never has been an achievement|the need to prove oneself as superior]] to or [[Enablers#Getting_sucked_into_drama_surrounding_Chris|otherwise be associated with]] an obese, unrepentant sex offender with [[Messiah complex|a rapidly-flatlining grip on sanity]] reeks of desperation for attention more than it ever has. <br />
<br />
All of this isn't even getting to the likely results of trying to ween or otherwise going out of your way to coax reactions or information from Chris nowadays. Not only do you have [[Kiwi Farms|the active Chris-Chan community]] who are more than willing to come after most wannabes who attempt to do so, but also how the consequences will, in such circumstances, very likely end up spreading into your actual life; as has been seen on numerous occasions. Even without going in with the intention to troll, fan documentaries and information sources (such as [[CWCki|this very wiki]]) already extensively cover Chris and his life, and when new events and such occur, it's more than likely already covered by them without you needing to dig too deeply. <br />
<br />
That said, if you do have worthwhile information, corrections and confirmations of such to to provide, then by all means do so. The same applies for items such as ''Sonichu''-related fan media, [[Enablers#Joining_the_creative_community_surrounding_Chris|on the condition that they're kept well away from the man himself]]. But you should always keep in mind that however you choose to go about it, with so much to potentially lose and so little to gain — if anything at all — '''obsessing over and trying to get directly involved with Chris nowadays just isn't worth it.'''<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A-Logging]]<br />
*[[Enablers]] <br />
*[[Michael Hirtes]], an infamous ween.<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Unholy}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Trolling]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE&diff=290981THAT IS MY HOUSE2022-06-16T01:02:29Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Transcript */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:DeathStarCam7.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Star Wars|Do you ''realize''...? Do... you... '''realize''' something? Let me tell you: If the Rebel Alliance sees those Death Star plans, that you put in the damn droid, they could destroy our base, and we would have to move out of it...?]]]]<br />
<br />
'''THAT IS MY HOUSE''', aka '''ECV 00193''', is a video uploaded 27 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris]] demands footage of his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] be removed from the [[internet]].<br />
<br />
Chris took down the video not too long afterward, only for it be re-uploaded by [[troll]] [[TheCWCvilleLibrary|archivists]]. On 29 August 2009, an uncut version of the video featuring [[Bob]] was acquired by [[Vivian Gee]] and [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|leaked]] onto [[YouTube]].<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
{{quotebox|I was Already In Deep Enough, but THIS IS TOO DEEP! GET ALL MY HOUSE IMAGES OFF THE INTERNET!<br />
<br />
I am counting on ALL FULL Positive Cooperation in this major matter.<br />
<br />
Christian Weston Chandler, August 17 [sic], 2009 }}<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
{{Tardrage}}<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = THAT IS MY HOUSE<br />
| ytid = m3xeZTBgvwg<br />
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Website|[[The Internet]]}}<br />
| style = {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Rage|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]<br />
| next = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|ECV 00192]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I'll send in detectives! I'll send in police! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY POWER!|He never did any of this, and his house remains on the internet to this very day.}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[''Chris races into the frame, obviously angry and upset; he begins speaking quietly, but gradually gets louder'']<br />
<br />
This does not even deserve a [[Captain's Log]] introduction... [''dramatic [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] removal''] BECAUSE THIS IS DEAD SERIOUS. The [[Tour of Chris's House|inside and outside tour]] I did A FEW MONTHS ago of my house, everyone on the [[Internet]]...<br />
<br />
[''Chris jumps up and suddenly begins to scream and yell in a fit of childish rage, flapping his arms as he puts louder emphasis on certain words, sounding somewhat similar to Gilbert Gottfried'']<br />
<br />
{{RageQuote|[[Barbara Chandler|MY MOTHER]] AND [[Bob Chandler|MY FATHER]] ARE ''ANGRY'' AT ME!}}<br />
<br />
'''THEY'RE BLAMING''' IT AT ME! '''IT'S MY FAULT, I ADMIT IT!''' IT'S MY FAULT; I WANT EVERYTHING A-'''''BOUT MY HOUSE'''''<br />
<br />
{{RageQuote|''OFF!''<br>''THE!''<br>''INNERNET!''}}<br />
<br />
[''Chris starts gesticulating ridiculously''] I'll send in detectives! I'll send in [[police]]! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY {{RageQuote|''[[POWER]]!''}}<br />
<br />
[''noticeable jump cut; Chris's glasses are back on his face and the door is left open from when [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|Bob walked in]]'']<br />
<br />
So yeah, please, get everything off the Internet...<br />
<br />
{{RageQuote|Now, NOW, NOW, ''NOW'', ''NOW'', ''NOOOOW!''}}<br />
<br />
[''Chris stomps the ground as he yells like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, the camera [[Obesity|noticeably shakes]]; he then quickly calms down, then holds up the peace sign'']<br />
<br />
[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse]] the [[trolls]], peace to everyone else.<br />
<br />
==Uncut==<br />
{{quote|Shut that goddamn thing off!|Bob Chandler, addressing his old foe: that ''goddamn Internet''.}}<br />
<br />
An uncut version entitled '''ECV 00192''' was posted by Vivian on 29 August 2009, where Bob walks in and scolds Chris. This is the second and last time we see Bob showing any kind of parental authority over Chris. In [[Mailbag 25]], Chris revealed that he lied to his father, telling him that he had gotten the house videos off of the Internet.<br />
<br />
We also learn the real reason why Chris's parents are concerned about the tour videos: the fear that the [http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/thomas-jefferson/ Health Department of Greene County] will discover the squalor of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler Household]] and condemn it. Unsurprisingly, in typical CWC fashion, [[Chris and remorse|Chris doesn't seem to care about that]] and is only concerned that he got in trouble with his parents.<br />
<br />
Also noteworthy is the fact that this marks the first Chris video explicitly featuring another living, breathing person (as opposed to [[Kimmi|an inflatable person, made of plastic]]).<br />
<br />
===Video===<br />
{{Tardrage}}<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = ECV 00192<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|riHgBEu3OSk}}<br />
| stardate = 29 [[August 2009]]<br />
| style = {{Comedy|[[Random-access humor|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}<br />
| previous = THAT IS MY HOUSE<br />
| next = [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[''the video begins as above, but at 0:28, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] opens the door and walks in'']<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> JUST GET IT ''OFF'' THE INTERNET...<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> Listen-to-me! [''muffled by Chris's "OFF THE INTERNET!"''] Listen to me.<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''': </span> [''his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|expression changes rapidly]] and slowly turns to face Bob''] Yes...<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> Listen to ''ME''.<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> Yes.<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> Shut that goddamn thing off!<br />
<br />
[''Chris [[sigh]]s and attempts to turn off his [[PS3|PSEye]], but fails to realize that it's still recording the conversation. Bob walks over to him'']<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> I don't care what you do. [''pointing at PSEye''] You get all that stuff off of there. Tonight.<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> I'm working on it. [''slaps hands to his side'']<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> Go work on it! [''points to the door, instructing Chris to go to the computer downstairs'']<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> I am workin-<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> Do you ''realize''...? Do you '''''realize''''' something? Let me tell you: If the [http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/thomas-jefferson/ Health Department of Greene County]... sees those videos... that you put on the damn Internet... they could condemn our house, and we would have to move out of it...?<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> [''sighs''] I see.<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> You go get that [''nervously laughs when saying the next few words''] goddamn stuff off of there and fast!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> I'm ''working'' on it! I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> No...<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> Its—It's, ahh, ''out of my control'' [''flails arms'']<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> No, ''you'' get 'em off.<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! ''I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO''-<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> You loaded them up there, you unload 'em!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> I'm working on it!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> Go ''do it''!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> ''I AM WORK'- I AM DOIN' IT... I'M STARTIN'...''<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> Get in ''here'' and ''do it''!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> I- [''sputters'']<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> [''walks out of the room''] I'll be up all night with you if ''I have to''. You won't get any sleep until that stuff's off.<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> I'm working on it!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> [''from outside''] Get in there and start!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> ''I'M WOR-KIN' ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[Trolls|E'RRYBODY]], [[True and Loyal Fanbase|IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET-''<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> [''interrupting''] Listen!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> -about our house!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> I don't wanna get kicked outta my house. By the Health Department. And what you just did was stick a knife in our back, and kill us! [''Bob exits the room again'']<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> Aw'right... lemme just...<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> Get that stuff ''offa'' there...<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> ''I'M '''WORK'''''-<br />
<br />
<span style="color:FireBrick">'''Bob''':</span> ...and get it offa there fast!<br />
<br />
<span style="color:RoyalBlue">'''Chris''':</span> I'm ''workin''' on it! I'm ''WORKIN''' on it! [''video continues as above; due to the somewhat better video quality, the shaking is a lot more noticeable'']<br />
<br />
==The Greene County Health Department responds==<br />
In addition to creating many, many mirrors of the videos Bob wanted cut down, some more intrepid viewers actually did contact the Greene County Health Department. The Health Department did respond (3 weeks later) to one such letter, although they seemed indifferent and stated the Chandler's decision to live in a garbage house full of dirty dishes and animal feces was part of their inalienable rights as guaranteed by the US Constitution:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Dear Bob S:<br />
<br />
Thank you for your interest in this situation. The challenge is to<br />
clarify if the conditions at this residence are a risk to the public's<br />
health or if they are personal risks accepted by the individuals that<br />
choose to live there.<br />
<br />
Public Health relates to the general health of a community. When<br />
diseases can be transmitted from person to person or when the health<br />
risk affects the community, regulations have normally been enacted to<br />
address these public health threats. Even so, the individual's right to<br />
choose is protected by the Constitution. We know smoking greatly<br />
increases the risk of cancer and heart disease, yet individuals continue<br />
to choose to smoke. Regulations are in place to minimize public exposure<br />
to contaminated or mishandled foods, yet some individuals still choose<br />
to eat raw hamburger. In the case you've brought to our attention, the<br />
"deplorable conditions" you refer to appear to be confined to the<br />
individual residence and are the choice of those that live there. They<br />
do not appear to effect the health of the community. There are no<br />
specific health regulations that address individual choices in private<br />
living conditions.<br />
<br />
We have contacted the building official to see if any building, zoning<br />
of fire prevention laws apply and were informed that they did not. We<br />
also contacted the Greene County Attorney to see if he knew of any<br />
County ordinances that would be applicable. He did not know of any. We<br />
also contacted adult protective services to make sure they are aware of<br />
the situation.<br />
<br />
Please contact me if I can be of further assistance.<br />
<br />
Jeffrey T. McDaniel<br/><br />
Environmental Health Manager<br/><br />
[http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/thomasjefferson/ Thomas Jefferson Health District]}}<br />
<br />
This raises the question of whether Chris is properly informed about the risks to his health and all of his rights as a disabled person (especially the right to [[Chris and mental healthcare|humane psychiatric treatment]] that would help him live on his own), although this probably isn't a matter for the Health Department.<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{|align="center"<br />
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWC-Tok (Presented to You by Christian Weston Chandler)<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TLN-6lKDdhI}}<br />
| stardate = 09 [[January 2010]]<br />
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]<br />
| subject = <br />
| type = Remix to "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha<br />
| info = Arguably the most popular fan video of them all.}}<br />
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = BUST A CHRIS<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9j3IUYX8QGU}}<br />
| Stardate =<br />
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]<br />
| Subject =<br />
| Video Type =<br />
| Other Info =}}<br />
|-<br />
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = NOW MIX<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dboXPv-eIiU}}<br />
| Stardate =<br />
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]<br />
| Subject =<br />
| Video Type =<br />
| Other Info =}}<br />
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = "That's My House!" - Ca. 1912 Silent Film Starring Christian and Robert Chandler<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|csQWQzpfDBc}}<br />
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]<br />
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tregnier279 tregnier279]<br />
| subject = <br />
| type = Remix<br />
| info = }}<br />
|-<br />
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = (YTPMV) THAT IS MY GENTLEMENTLEMEN <br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dFUikkbOf40}}<br />
| stardate = 25 [[April 2011]]<br />
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/RainingMetal?feature=mhum RainingMetal]<br />
| subject = <br />
| type = YouTube Poop Music Video}}<br />
|{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Christian Weston Chandler vs Darth Bob<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NcBSyaWnk9I}}<br />
| stardate = 25 [[March 2016]]<br />
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI2gRuUl9SVnjsfMOwoXXDA Griffin Law]<br />
| type = (Film) Parody<br />
| info = Bob as [[Star Wars|Darth Vader]].}}<br />
|}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Bob Walks In]]<br />
*[[Chris and negotiation]]<br />
*[[Look, I Am helping my mother and I with the monies]]<br />
*[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]<br />
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]|nextlink=[[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]|}}<br />
<br />
{{Troll Videos}}<br />
{{LeakedVideos}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Leaked videos]]<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-27]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler&diff=290647Christian Weston Chandler2022-06-13T01:13:38Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Future */</p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about Chris himself... it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''<br />
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''<br />
{{Transgender|MTF}}<br />
{{Unreliable|type=cred|Chris is a [[List of Chris's lies|habitual liar]].|Chris will often exaggerate things that happened, often to [[Chris and his ego|make himself look better]].|Chris is considerably [[naïve]].|Chris's accounts on how a certain event went down will often vary with each time he recalls it.}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox Person<br />
| title = Christian Weston Chandler<br />
| image = 0773-CWC23.JPG<br />
| size = 350<br />
| name = Christopher Weston Chandler (1982–[[Christopher's name change|1992]]) <br> Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's name change|1992]]–2016) <br> Christine Weston Chandler (2016–present)<br />
| aliases = Chris-Chan<br>Chris Chan<br>CWC<br>[[Bob Chandler|Little C]]<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo]]<br>[[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|RWC]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Father]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Pop]]<br> [[Rosechu (character)|Papa]]<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>[[Liquid Chris|Solid Chris]]<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]]<br>[[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]<br>[[Facebook|Tini]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|paintingatree]]<br>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br>[[Night Star]]<br>[[CPU Blue Heart]]<br>[[CWC Psychlight]]<br>[[Kiwi Farms|LegendaryChristorian]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)]]<br>[[Internet Dream Lounge|Natalie Portman]]<br>[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Grandma Christine]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mother]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mama]]<br>[[Spirit possession|Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Jesus Christ]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Camera #000]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|Christine Chan Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Communications|Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 9 December 2021|Jesus Christ Chan]]<br>[[Jail Call - 13 January 2022|Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu]]<br />
| month = 2<br />
| day = 24<br />
|gender = Male (1982–2016)<br>[[Tomgirl]] (2011–2014)<br>[[Transgender|Transwoman]] (2016–present)<br />
| nation = [[United States|American]]<br />
| religion = "[[Chris and religion|Neo Spiritual Christianity]]"<br />
| race = White (1/8<sup>th</sup> "[[Cherokian]]")<br />
|label8 = Height<br />
| ft = 5<br />
| in = 10<br />
| heightsrc = <ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref><br />
|lb = 203 <br />
|weightsrc= <ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref><br />
|father = [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)<br />
|mother = [[Barbara Chandler]] (1941–present)<br />
|siblings = [[Cole Smithey]] (half-brother)<br>[[David Alan Chandler]] (half-brother)<br>[[Carol Chandler]] (half-sister)<br />
|education = [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (AAS, [[CADD]])<br />
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist ([[Lulu|self-published]])<br>Video game designer (unpublished)<br>[[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) <br>[[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]])<br>[[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)<br>Entrepreneur, [[Chris and business|Cwcville Shopping]] ([[2014]]–[[2016]])<br>[[Stephanie Bustcakes|Prostitute]] ([[2016]], unpaid)<br />
|spouse = [[Cryzel Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] (m. March 2018) <br> [[Sylvana]] Rosechu and [[Mewtwo]] (m. June 2018)<ref>[[:File:Miss Cherry asks Chris about his marriages.png]]</ref><br />
|titles = Sonichu Creator<br>Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu<br>[[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]] of the Nations of [[Cwcville]], Comma, and the [[Commodore 64|Commodore Consoles]]<ref>https://archive.fo/v5aVW</ref><br>The Queen of Modern Laughter<ref>[[Internet_Dream_Lounge#Outro_.281:12:27-1:16:25.29]]</ref><br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|The Real Player One]]<br><br />
<!--Do NOT include saga denotation templates in this infobox, as Chris has been involved in all sagas, and is the main subject of the CWCki--><br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and his Ego#Paranoia|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], AKA Chris.<ref><br />
[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :(] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Behold, the Mistake of God!|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on Chris.}}<br />
<br />
'''Christine Weston Chandler''', formerly '''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born: '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''; 24 February [[1982]]) is a {{Age|1982|2|24}}-year-old [[Autism|autistic]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|mentally ill]]<ref>Confirmed by placement in the [[Therapeutic Docket]].</ref> [[JERKS|misandrist]], [[Women's rights|misogynist]], former [[virgin with rage]], self-proclaimed [[CPU Blue Heart|deity]], and [[Affair with Mother|accused sex offender]]. He is commonly referred to by his nickname '''Chris-Chan''', by his initials '''CWC''', or simply the gender-neutral '''Chris'''. He looks kind of like a cartoon version of {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} come to life, and is considered to be one of the most well-known and well-documented lolcows in internet culture – if not one of the most well-documented people in history.<br />
<br />
Some would consider Chris to be a celebrity, but he hasn't sold a multiplatinum [[Chris and music|album]], nor has he been awarded with an [[Chris and cinematography|Oscar]]. Instead, he is the [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which ostensibly tells the story of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] and their adventures with the [[Chaotic Combo]]. In practice, the webcomic really serves as wish fulfillment for Chris himself, allowing him to express his dissatisfaction with how [[Mary Lee Walsh|the faculty at school and college]] didn't acknowledge [[Honor roll|what he saw as an exemplary academic performance]] [[Count Graduon|when he graduated]], along with his frustration over [[Love Quest|being unable to find a romantic partner]]; as such, the book let him redirect his [[Chris and anger|anger]] toward [[Jerkop|the people who]] [[Manajerks|would impede him]] on his journey, casting them as villains and himself as [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|a true Campbellian hero]] in his narrative. After completing his education, Chris was unemployed for most of his adult life, making a living off of [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] and [[Patreon|donations]] from his webcomic's [[True and Loyal Fanbase]].<br />
<br />
In late [[2007]], he became [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]-famous when images of him at [[The GAMe PLACe|a tabletop gaming store]] leaked out to the {{w|Something Awful}} message boards. Upon discovery, Chris was mocked for his [[Chris and fashion|odd fashion sense]] and [[Obesity|oafish appearance]], and images of Chris at the store soon spread to places like [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and in the process, many [[trolls]] became exposed to his webcomic for the first time, propelling Chris to stardom. Initial fascination was spurred on by his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]], his signature homemade [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] that he wore in public, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] asking women to talk to him. [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|His reaction to the ensuing mockery]] led to a cycle of [[Honest Content|Chris revealing more disturbing facts about himself]] and [[Chris and manipulation|trolls going to greater and greater lengths to uncover more knowledge about this strange individual]]. Thus, Chris's life began to spiral out of control with the advent of organized trolling, [[Chris and...|armchair psychological analysis]] from bewildered onlookers, and some truly bizarre antics from Chandler that continue to this day, which would influence the development of the webcomic whenever Chris got around to updating it.<br />
<br />
Chris's most notable period of activity on the internet occurred between 2007 and 2010 – a period now dubbed the "Classic Era" by modern Christorians – in which he was repeatedly catfished by trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|romantic interests]], and he lashed out against arch-enemy [[Clyde Cash]], the leader of the most notable group of trolls in his life: [[Trolls#The Miscreants|The Miscreants]]. In this time, [[Julie Reveals Herself|he was duped by]] [[BlueSpike|a sadistic 13-year-old]] [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|into stuffing his medallion up his ass]], [[Liquid Chris|had his identity stolen by a far more talented individual]], [[Asperchu|and had ''Sonichu'' mercilessly spoofed by a webcomic team that specifically designed a story that would piss him off]], among other misadventures. However, he eventually decided to sign off from the internet at the end of this period, seemingly wising up to his dang dirty trolls. When he inevitably returned to the limelight a few months later in 2011, he was not the same. [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris began to experiment with crossdressing, calling himself a "Tomgirl"]], before eventually coming out as [[transgender]] in late 2014.<br />
<br />
From here, Chris's internet life stayed relatively normal (by his standards), despite his shift in gender identity, his father's death, [[28 October 2011|a hit-and-run case]], [[2014 house fire|the accident that caused his house to burn down]], and [[26 December 2014|an incident where he maced an employee at a GameStop store]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of Sonic's arms]]. Things changed when two new sets of trolls – known as the [[Idea Guys]] and the [[Teen Troon Squad]] – [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] him with increasingly-insane beliefs (such as the idea that he and both of his parents are [[Sonichu (species)|half-Sonichu]]), culminating in [[Chris and reality|Chris's revelation]] that he is [[CPU Blue Heart|a goddess]] meant to bring about [[Dimensional Merge|a convergence of dimensions]] that will merge [[Dimensions#C-197|the world shown in his webcomic]] with our world, effectively starting a doomsday cult around what started as a silly, self-indulgent ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'' crossover. Since then, Chris has used [[Messiah complex|this delusion]] as an elaborate [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism while he continues his self-destructive habits.<br />
<br />
In spite of the trolls in question being driven out by the effort of the [[Guard Dogs]] trying to keep Chris from going further down a self-destructive path, or at least to keep him from embarrassing himself any more, Chris chose to keep clinging to these unhealthy and downright absurd beliefs. All the while, Chris's [[Chris and health|physical]] and [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]] are withering away, and [[Financhu Crisis|money is becoming a serious issue for the Chandler household]], and Chris's mother isn't long for this world, all of which has led Chris to retreat even further into his fantasies. It's gotten to the point where [[Spirit possession|he now pretends to be possessed by various fictional characters]] on a regular basis, with one nearly year-long period of "possession" by Sonichu serving as a way for Chris to cope with the fact that he wasn't able to attend [[BABSCon|two ''My Little Pony'' conventions]] that had been cancelled during the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. The point of no return was finally reached in [[2021]], after [[Incest call|a recording]] between Chris and [[Isabella Loretta Janke|a troll posing as a fan]] revealed that [[Affair with Mother|he had several incestuous encounters with his mother]], which has forcibly evicted him from [[14 Branchland Court|his own home]] and sent him to jail, which became his most publicized incident in years. Chris is now looking at prison time, and while Chris awaits a trial, [[Jail Communications|letters from jail]] illustrate that he's gone even deeper into his own fantasies by believing himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus Christ}} reincarnated. Chris was later transferred to the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution for three months before returning to jail.<br />
<br />
There has never been an internet personality quite like Chris-Chan, thanks to the unique circumstances leading to his prominence online and shaping his peculiar behavior, and there may never be another quite like him – he is truly one of a kind. It is the dedicated mission of [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to chronicle his life in ridiculous detail, and if you want to go down the seemingly bottomless rabbit hole with us, then you should probably start by reading this page. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long ride, and the end is nowhere in sight.<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
{{quote|He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all.|An anonymous [[University of Virginia]] student making an observation about Chris.<ref><br />
[https://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html "glass house"], a post from LiveJournal user thereisbeautyin.</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]<br />
[[File:SympathyForChris.png|thumb|left|An approximate graph which correlates knowledge about Chris to sympathy towards him.]]<br />
<br />
Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified [[Transgender|transwoman]] with delusional tendencies who has been allowed – by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] – to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Even into his forties, Chris remains so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to societal norms. He has regularly demonstrated trouble displaying acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the law|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in any meaningful way. Although the public school system forced Chris to face [[reality]], graduation has allowed him to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities, opting instead to stick to the comfort of living at home and subsisting off of taxpayer dollars. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]] (commissions and multi-level marketing aside), and he hasn't been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. It is likely Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the <s>begging</s> generous donations, and the fact he has flat out said his autism prevents him from getting a job (in spite of there being many social services available to help people with disabilities find work). Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20201210113452/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/page-96#post-1853572</ref>.<br />
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[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]<br />
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Chris is completely obsessed with his OC and the associated comic, to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation; the medallion disappeared for a time, but returned in [[September 2010]]. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making ''Sonichu'' games is that they're either tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working for them. For a while, Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for $30 apiece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to Etsy, however, his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.<br />
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Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stared at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; throughout his early Internet history, he appeared to be deeply insecure about his gender and sexuality. Even prior to his gender transition, he has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and only reined in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproved. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgments on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partially [en]courages" and is even aroused by. Over time, Chris dropped his homophobic tendencies, [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|apologized in 2015]] and supports what he calls the [[SLGBTQ]] spectrum. In [[2018]], the [[Idea Guys]] [[brainwashed]] Chris into identifying as bisexual.<br />
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His adult life has been largely defined by his goals of developing ''Sonichu'' into a hit media franchise, his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, his gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman.<br />
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==Aliases==<br />
{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[Chris and religion|God]] [[Christopher's name change|and the bear]] has given me throughout my whole life. The current full name of Christian Weston Chandler, my first name being Christopher and my Spanish nickname being Ricardo. But in the end, just call me the full name, Christian Weston Chandler.|[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Chris making demands of]] [[Liquid Chris|his impostor]], years before legally changing his name to "Christine".}}<br />
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[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Chris's self-portrait, circa 2007. {{w|Ozymandias|"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"}}]]<br />
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|right|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's hand-drawn representation of himself.]]]]<br />
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Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]" that misheard his name, which he interpreted as a sign from God. In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris would often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is [[Chris and his ego|unusually proud]] of his initials "CWC", and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]] and [[CWC Dare]].<br />
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Shortly after declaring himself a [[transgender]] lesbian, Chris started introducing himself as "Christine". In May 2016, he successfully filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref>{{Cite farms|thread=20763|title= Chris filed for a legal name change|autoarchive=20211017191545}}</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> He now signs his name with "heart i's". Legal documents refer to him as Christine Chandler,<ref>[[:File:Trespass case 2018.png]]</ref> except for civil cases, in which he hadn't updated his name change information with plaintiffs.<ref>[[:Image:Court Record - 2019 Midland Funding Debt Case, Garnishment (Chris, GV18000451-01).png]]</ref> [[CWCki|This wiki]], however, refers to him as Chris for consistency.<br />
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[[File:Cwc bronycon 2017 1.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris first went by "Christine" in late 2014 before legally changing his name in 2016.]]<br />
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Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and long after then he would still translate his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't replace your own name with something completely different when speaking in another language. At times he would go so far as to announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to identify himself precisely. In recent times, Chris has forgone stating his middle name, former names, and Spanish nickname in videos; now he usually leads with just "Christine Chandler". (Chris has never come up with a feminine counterpart to his "Ricardo" nickname, or any other Spanish-sounding replacement.)<br />
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Occasionally, Chris would use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. As Chris grew even more unhinged in 2017 and fell under the [[Idea Guys]]'s sway in 2018, he would conflate himself even further with his fantastic inventions to the point where he unofficially added "Sonichu" to the end of his name (although this is not recognized as a legal name change, unlike "Christian" or "Christine" in previous years), to account for his later belief that he is actually half-Sonichu in real life following several rounds of brainwashing. Other modern names for himself include [[CPU Blue Heart]] and [[Night Star]], his self-inserts for the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchises respectively. In contexts when he wants to be especially grandiose, he might append his various fictional alter egos to his name, much as he would list his former names in the past.<br />
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Only a few names commonly used to refer to Chris are not invented by Chris himself. One of the most notable ones is "Chrissy", popularized by [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen Van Dierten]] oddly enough, trying to mockingly feminize Chris's name seemed to predict his eventual interest in crossdressing and later interest in becoming transgender. [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], which was derived from Chris's IBAChandler [[YouTube]] account, was popularized by [[Liquid Chris]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|much to Chris's angst]]. Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent on Earth". Users of [[Kiwi Farms]] have coined the term "Classic Chris" to refer to Chris before the [[Tomgirl Saga]] and/or the [[2014 house fire|house fire]], with "Modern Chris" being used to describe his later antics.<br />
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==Foundational Era==<br />
{{quote|The most important parting words I can leave you with - well, are to always remember this. You show people where your [[Kick the Autistic|weak points]] are located, then [[Trolls|they]] will know how to [[Chris and anger|push your button]]. If you never show them, they will never know.|[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] giving Chris valuable advice that he, unfortunately, did not follow.}}<br />
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Christopher Weston Chandler was born on 24 February 1982 at {{w|Martha Jefferson Hospital}} in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref> His parents, [[Borb|Robert and Barbara]], worked as a engineer at Western Electric (later General Electric) and a office worker at Virginia Power, respectively. Although little is known about Chris's toddler years, the [[Autism papers]] revealed that he was delayed in his language ability, which became his first sign of [[autism]].<br />
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===Childhood and Adolescence===<br />
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]<br />
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[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan... in a {{w|Pogs|pog}} form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]<br />
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Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true – the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.<br />
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An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a toy room at an early age after turning all the lights off, an event he described as being intensely traumatic for him.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> (Chris apparently missed the irony of the fact that he regularly locked himself in a room, surrounded by toys, for much of his adult life.) He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism (which is wishful thinking on Chris's part, considering that autism is a genetic condition that isn't triggered by external trauma). Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> However, Chris was able to meet these cognitive milestones in time.<br />
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During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl – if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance). In [[1992]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.<br />
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Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /><br />
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At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to the general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has also led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).<br />
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<center><gallery><br />
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.<br />
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.<br />
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].<br />
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].<br />
</gallery></center><br />
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{{collapsible<br />
|More of young Christian<br />
|<gallery><br />
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg<br />
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg<br />
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg<br />
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg<br />
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg<br />
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg<br />
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg<br />
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg<br />
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg<br />
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg<br />
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg<br />
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg<br />
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg<br />
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg<br />
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg<br />
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg<br />
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg<br />
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg<br />
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg<br />
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg<br />
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg<br />
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg<br />
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg<br />
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg<br />
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg<br />
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg<br />
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg<br />
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg<br />
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
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[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[Semen|cups]].]]<br />
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[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]<br />
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Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu, the latter of which was created for a class project simply because he couldn't use [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted characters]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20161008083333/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> (The irony that Chris's own solution to that problem was to merge two copyrighted characters into a new character is somehow still lost on him, even to this day.) After inventing his ''magnum opus'' with the character of Sonichu, Chris began to incorporate his [[OCs|original character]] into everything that he could, although his passion for his character wouldn't truly surface until college.<br />
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Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris became despondent and stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" despite his autism, ignoring the likelihood that the artistic achievements of his peers were simply better. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult, a phase of his life that his parents had not properly prepared him for.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.<br />
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Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any other aspect of his life, and has unfortunately even regressed in several key areas as he gets older. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him. [[Chris and nostalgia|Chris still pines for "better days"]] in spite of his current belief system hypothetically leaving him in a better place than he ever was in high school. As you might imagine, this is precisely because things didn't get much better for Chris after finishing school.<br />
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{{collapsible<br />
|Chris's award-winning artwork<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
<br />
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.<br />
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.<br />
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.<br />
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.<br />
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...<br />
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.<br />
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight – look at it and you'll want to vomit.<br />
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
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<br />
===Adult Chronicles===<br />
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]<br />
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Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref><br />
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.<br />
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Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]]. <br />
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[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]<br />
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After college and completing his education, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. He would not make any serious attempts to seek out a career from graduation onward, in spite of attaining a degree that could probably net him a decent-paying (and relatively undemanding) career that would likely grant him more opportunities than sitting at home playing video games ever could.<br />
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In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her (a habit that got so bad that [[Megan emails, 2005-2006#Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals|Megan later equated it to sexual harassment]]).<br />
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In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.<br />
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It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue, the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures. Little would Chris know, however, that his life was about to permanently change as a result writing and drawing of his magnum opus.<br />
<br />
==Classic Era==<br />
{{main|2007|2008|2009|2010}}<br />
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{{quote|You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want... I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead.|[[Kacey]], accurately predicting how stagnant Chris's life would be after [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|breaking up with him]].}}<br />
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[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]<br />
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Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. He was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed an unrelated conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris. A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref> Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then, and shockingly enough, Chris himself shoulders some of the blame for why that is.<br />
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[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]. He was duped into wearing his mom's underwear by [[Blanca Weiss]].]]<br />
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Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time, giving the trolls justification to continue their war against Chris in the process. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.<br />
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[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]], making [[April 16 Fetish Vids|fetish videos]] for [[Ivy]].]]<br />
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In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would, in turn, encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.<br />
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The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of lulz. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general, opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.<br />
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[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]<br />
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By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals, and that any and all trolls were a vocal minority on his way to fame and fortune. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga. All the while, the editors and administrators working at Encyclopedia Dramatica and the CWCki maintained a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris could not get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.<br />
<br />
Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: that his internet presence and the toxic cycle of exposing something about himself, getting exploited or otherwise made fun of by trolls, and reacting poorly to said trolling was having a detrimental effect upon his mental health and social life, with every new video that he created exasperating the problem. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. For a time, it looked like Chris was learning from his experiences and was making an effort to improve his own lot in life.<br />
<br />
In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. It initially appeared that Chris was making a positive lifestyle change, but alas, it was quickly discovered that his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he announced retirement from social media. Instead of investing his time into more productive activities or improving on his social skills, Chris spent much more time playing video games and otherwise doing what he had been doing when he did engage with trolls. In a predictable fashion, he ultimately forgot anything that he might have learned from his experiences of [[Kick the Autistic|being one of the internet's biggest punching bags]], and he subsequently returned to making new videos starting on [[August 2011]]... Albeit with a pretty big change in how he presented himself online.<br />
<br />
==Transvestite Era==<br />
{{main|2011|2012|2013|2014}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I Seriously Have Been [[Chris and English|PUBLICALY]] INVISIBLE for YEARS! The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids; mentally and emotionally raped me continuously; made the worst imaginable reputation of me on the Internet, AND relayed THAT into OFFLINE LIFE in gossip, rumors, and presidentially grand Fucked-Up Campaigns!!!|[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Chris vents on Facebook]] after years of trolling take their toll.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]<br />
<br />
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2012]].]]<br />
<br />
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seemed to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia, transphobia, and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and became more extreme in late 2014 and the years that followed. As mentioned previously, Chris would slowly but surely walk back his anti-LGBT stances.<br />
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[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2013]].]]<br />
<br />
In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.<br />
<br />
After Bob's death, Chris generally ceased interacting with trolls, seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to. Instead, Chris lapsed into a deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of the family tragedy, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric man-child that the world had come to know and love. For many, it became apparent that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] were over, and several moved on. The Golden Age of Chris-Chan was over.<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]<br />
<br />
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2015]], cosplaying as [[Vinyl Scratch]], AKA [[My Little Pony|DJ-PON3]].]]<br />
<br />
Nonetheless, the surviving Chandlers still managed to be drama magnets in their own neighborhood. In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. (Chris had presumed that the store's new management meant that Snyder may no longer work there, thus giving Chris a chance to potentially revisit his old haunt. When this proved to not be the case, the both Chandlers hit Snyder with a car.) The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. Much of the money that Bob left behind was used to pay for legal expenses.<br />
<br />
While awaiting trial, Chris was worried that he may die a virgin if he were to go to prison, and so looked for ways to have at least one sexual encounter before a worst-case scenario could come to pass. [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true... [[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. Chris reneged on the "true love" part of his [[Love Quest]] and skipped straight to the point, which seemed to satisfy him in the short run but otherwise wasn't a life-changing experience for him. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]] and spent less time online than usual.<br />
<br />
[[2013]] saw Chris's online presence more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Walmart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the "stress" taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him – he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.<br />
<br />
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior. <br />
<br />
At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when an extension cord leading from the bathroom to a coffee maker in the hallway – which was placed in such a location due to the nature of Barb's compulsive hoarding habits, and had become frayed due to the constant closing of the door – sparked and [[2014 house fire|set the house on fire]].<ref>[[BraveryJerk Interviews]]</ref> While no human was seriously harmed, one of the [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Some of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Bob's huge record collection.<br />
<br />
Chris and his mother ran into [[Chris and money|acute]] [[Debt|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|difficulties]] as a result of the house fire on top of their existing income issues, and Chris had spent most of the year alternating between begging for money and taking commissions to make more of his artwork on Facebook, and selling autographed photos of himself on eBay ([[Trolls|with it being pretty clear who most of his patrons were]]). Despite the severity of the Chandler family's financial issues, Chris chose to blow literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]] instead of working to resolve his debts. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]], who purchased these items as a means to keep a roof over Chris's head.<br />
<br />
In July, Chris was catfished once more by a new sweetheart named [[Catherine]] after meeting her through [[OKCupid]]. She met up with him in Ruckersville and surreptitiously recorded his conversations. The relationship lasted through the end of the year, and through this process, it was learned that Chris [[Un-clit|pierced his taint]], with other media tied to Chris's life leaking as Catherine and cooperating trolls uncovered more details about his then-current life and mindset.<br />
<br />
[[Transgender|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of pickles in general. Chris also took up swanning around attending LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingled with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before Chris would make a more serious commitment to his lifestyle change when he officially began to transition.<br />
<br />
==Transgender Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2014|2015|2016|2017}}<br />
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{{Protip|The CWCki has opted to use masculine pronouns to describe Chris, even post-transition, for the purpose of keeping consistent with records from before 2014. Chris is legally registered as female and has taken hormones to transition, but has not undergone gender reassignment surgery.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|The future shock... Me? Actually a woman? It is a lot to process. But as I recall my past, I remember in high school, my habits and nature were recognized as most feminine. And in comparing it to my experiences with the masculine, I find I actually don't like such brutish things. And looking deep in my heart and soul, [[Chris and gender|I actually find I feel more woman than the male I was born as.]] And the more I open myself to that [[Chris and English|plausible]]... I truly feel more at peace with myself. [[Chris and his ego|I love me.]] '''[[The Incredible Lioness|I am woman! Roar!]]'''|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's fictionalized counterpart]] explaining his philosophy before becoming [[transgender]] in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].}}<br />
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[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris in [[2016]].]]<br />
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In early December 2014, Chris informed those closest to him to start referring him with female pronouns, indicating his desire to go from transvestite to transgender. This era started with a bang when, in December, Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. On top of this, Chris subsequently caused another ruckus at Walmart, just in case you started feeling bad for him after being duped by yet another fake girlfriend. Chris ultimately spent a night in the slammer, and following a lengthy legal process, got off with a $541 fine and a six-month suspended sentence.<br />
<br />
More generally, 2015 saw Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon hedgehog]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He indicated in several Facebook posts that he was still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; for some time, he yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood.<br />
<br />
Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016:<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable"<br />
|Original <br />
|Sequel<br />
|-<br />
|[[Recycling]]<br />
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]<br />
|[[Lesbian Sex Audition]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[Carlos Chantor]]<br />
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[Un-clit]]<br />
|[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
[[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2017, donning his [[unicorn cosplay]] at [[Cville Pride]].]]<br />
<br />
In addition, Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards of things that they could sell were clearly visible behind them. The [[Business]] saga was suspended when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".<br />
<br />
His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]]. He also made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.<br />
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[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|left|Chris with the Teen Troon Squad in [[2018]].]]<br />
<br />
In [[2017]], the Financhu Crisis continued to stress the Chandlers. Chris offered pieces of his late father's stamp collection, the [[Sonic Totem]] and [[The Classic]] for sale in order to afford more toys, a [[$400 gold necklace]] for Barb, and the extremely costly expenses for his [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle prizes]]. He and Barb also continued begging. One of his friends from [[The End Games]] Pokémon Club grew concerned and gave him solid advice on how to apply for work through Virginia's DARS program – and in true Chris fashion, instead of following it, he went on an angry tirade. Later in the year, he was sued for failure to pay a debt to Mariner Finance.<br />
<br />
Chris rediscovered Twitter in March. His frequent tweets to voice actresses lead to the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] saga – in which he was chastised for calling her [[darling]], but doubled down on it and was subsequently blocked by her – and getting blocked by ''My Little Pony'' VA [[Tabitha St. Germain]] due to her getting constantly tagged by Chris and the [[weens]] orbiting him. He created sockpuppet accounts [[NightStar2891]] to plead his case and [[TwiSparLicious]] to ban-evade, which failed.<br />
<br />
He briefly joined the [[Kiwi Farms]] forum under the name LegendaryChristorian and held a Q&A session.<br />
<br />
A high point for his social life was attending [[BronyCon]], at which he enjoyed attention from [[fans]]. He also attended LGBT events such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] (where he was interviewed on TV), [[Cville Pride]] (where he was photographed by news in crowd shots), and [[Love is Love]].<br />
<br />
Chris resumed the [[Business]] saga halfway through the year by going back to work on the [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] comic he had abandoned in 2015, by placing pages behind [[Patreon]]. He also again offered books for sale, self-published by [[Lulu]], was paid to be interviewed by [[Merryweathery]] and [[CopperCab]], and joined [[Redbubble]]. After eight years, he finally completed #11, and moved onto #12, which he completed after a few months. He began work on [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] and [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]], but got distracted. His Patreon efforts also began to languish around October, when patrons complained that he hadn't been sending out books.<br />
<br />
Another sweetheart saga took place in the fall. [[Jessica Quinn]], a long-time white knight, suddenly turned troll by pretending she had fallen in love with him. She broke up with him twice, the first time he cried on camera for her to take him back, and the final time, [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|he raged on video against the trolls he thought were to blame]]. He recovered quickly after drowning his sorrows at an ice cream shop.<br />
<br />
==Goddess Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2017|2018|2019|2020|2021}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], have tried and kept on and continuing on until that day in the new [[COVID-19|Pandemic-Free]] version of this, the Omega Timeline – 'cause I'm going back in time with this body, after I get back to [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] – finally return this body to mama in the new timeline at [[BABSCon]]. I tell you all, as overpowered a soul I am – in my own body that I was used to and accustomed with and everything – I, Sonichu, am unable to do Mama's job as good as only she, our OG Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, of [[Dimensions#1218|Earths 1218]] and C-197, can do. [[Chris and work|This work]], [[Obesity|her body]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|her brain]], [[Chris and reality|her Goddess-level overpowers and abilities]]; [[PsychicPowers|they're all literally tailored and custom-made only for her]]... [[Messiah complex|All praise, prayers, and power to our Goddess of 1218 and C-197: Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu!]]|Chris, [[Spirit possession|pretending to be Sonichu]], [[Sonichu's Update on the Dimension Merge and Sermon - October, 2020|completely going off of the deep end]] while talking about the [[Dimensional Merge]].}}<br />
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[[File:CWC 11 February 2019.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in 2019 with [[Lego|a custom LEGO minifigure]] representing his [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|godsona]], [[CPU Blue Heart]].]]<br />
<br />
After [[Heart level|having his heart shattered]] yet again, another troll, the [[Idea Guys|Idea Guy]], began to influence Chris by role-playing as his [[imaginary friends]] and convincing him that he was providing information from [[CWCville]]'s dimension, which Chris accepted out of having his fantasy world validated; along the way, another Idea Guy joined with the first. Together, they used their influence over Chris's beliefs to [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwash Chris into believing several things about himself]], such as the idea that he was [[bisexual]] and half-Sonichu, which ultimately culminated in Chris developing a [[Messiah complex]] derived from [[Dimensions|his own delusions about the nature of reality]] and the lore of ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.<br />
<br />
[[File:Praetor5.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2020, moments before [[Sonichu's Update on the Dimension Merge and Sermon - October, 2020|giving a sermon]] of the allegedly imminent [[Dimensional Merge]].]]<br />
<br />
When it was learned that the Idea Guys were extorting Chris, who was already facing financial difficulties, [[The Captain]] and [[Marvin]] intervened, forcing the Idea Guys out from Chris's life over the course of the subsequent months, however Chris retained much of the Idea Guys' brainwashing. The Captain, Marvin, and [[Null]] a group termed by onlookers as the [[Guard Dogs]], attempted to protect Chris from further bad actors by screening his messages, however, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] managed to evade them by meeting with Chris in person. The Guard Dogs alleged them to have role-played as Chris's imaginary friend [[Magi-Chan]] and Chris's retreated more into his fantasy world while under their enabling influence, although they stopped contacting Chris when they saw what happened to the Idea Guys.<br />
<br />
Chris repeatedly denounced the Idea Guys for financially exploiting him, but the damage was done to his psyche: Chris bought into the fantasy that he was a goddess as a new coping mechanism, and his already-shaky grasp on reality hit rock bottom. Chris's new beliefs led him to seek a hippie makeover befitting of his supposed [[PsychicPowers|psychic prowess]], and he retreated further into his fantasies, generally refusing to engage with people who wouldn't entertain them. Chris eventually turned on Null, thanks to the influence of other trolls – chief among them, [[Jacob Sockness]], who sought to sexually exploit Chris. The Guard Dogs realized that there was nothing that they could do for a Chris who refused to listen, and disbanded, but a new group, known as the [[Watchmen]] (who [[Enablers|enabled some of Chris's fantasies]] out of pragmatism), sought to keep Chris from further embarrassing or endangering himself, successfully getting him away from Sockness before he could do any harm to Chris.<br />
<br />
Throughout all of this, Chris's belief in the Dimensional Merge has not wavered. When it didn't arrive on the prophesized date of {{w|Jonestown|November 18, 2018}}, Chris did what all doomsday cultists and religious fundamentalists did whenever the apocalypse didn't happen: push it back again and again. Not helping matters was the advent of [[COVID-19]], which Chris saw as a sign of the Dimensional Merge's progress alongside all the other insane crap that happened in the year 2020. For Chris, things really took a turn for the worse when [[BABSCon]] got canceled, and he began an elaborate coping scheme to [[Spirit possession|live-action roleplay as Sonichu]] until he could attend ''[[My Little Pony]]'' conventions again, which will not happen until 2022 at the earliest. Chris spent nearly eleven months pretending to be his [[OCs|original character]], with very few interruptions, before eventually reverting to being himself again on 25 February 2021, [[KwaiiSandbag calls|thanks to the intervention of an enabler]], to personally oppose news about the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G5 reboot.<br />
<br />
During this time, Chris's appearance visibly aged significantly, with his hair turning grey. He's also seemingly lost a bit of weight, not due to improving his diet and leading a less sedentary lifestyle, but due to a decline in muscular mass. This is likely a result of the effects of the hormones that he has applied to treat his gender dysphoria, alongside his declining physical health due to his various poor life decisions. In addition to his existing health problems, he's also [[Chris and drugs|taken up drinking to excess and even smoking weed on occasion]], which both do his so-called "overpowered" goddess body absolutely no favors. Compared to [[Megan Schroeder]], who is four years younger than he is and currently looks pretty close to how she did in photographs with Chris about thirteen years ago, Chris now looks like he could now pass for her aunt or uncle. Chris also continued to be influenced by enablers such as [[Larry Vaughn]], [[KwaiiSandbag]], and [[Praetor]], the last of which is a group which seeks to exploit his infamy for sales revenue. The [[Watchmen]], an enabler/white knight group, splintered following internal conflict among its members.<br />
<br />
==Downfall Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2021|2022|Affair with Mother|Jail Saga}}<br />
{{quote|So there you go, chat: the [[Dimensional Merge]] is happening right fucking now! Chris, our boy Chris, bravo! Bravo, brave young man! I guess you could say, uh, that [[Chris and sex#Incest|he really, really came into his own]]. And in case it's not already fucking obvious, [[Jail Saga|Chris is going to jail]]. So we'll see how that works out. Best of luck Chris! [[It's UGH!|Don't drop the soap]], buddy. The world you lived in was just a fantasyland, but [[Chris and reality|reality]]... Reality is [[Affair with Mother|a motherfucker]].|A deepfake of Mister Metokur.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saeC2T4Be8k</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|left|400px|{{w|Killing of Osama bin Laden|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."}}]]<br />
<br />
After nearly a decade of a slow downward spiral in nearly all aspects of Chris's life following Bob's death, his future did not look particularly bright. By 2021, Chris had largely reduced his online activities to posting long [[Twitter]] threads of faux-philosophical ramblings reflecting his New Age Retro Hippie mindset, which bordered on being incomprehensible or [[Enablers|esoteric]]. At the same time, the Chandler family debt was steadily rising, largely due to Barb and her son's poor spending habits. In the extremely likely event that Chris outlives Barb, it was speculated that the situation would get worse for Chris with nobody to ground him in reality. Not to mention that Chris was virtually unemployable in any career after years of having every detail about his past leak out to the internet, and he hadn't made a real effort to get a job since his attempt to win [[Kacey]]'s heart, after his short-lived stints working at [[Wendy's|fast food joints]] or in [[Cutco|multi-level marketing]].<br />
<br />
However, there was fleetingly a period of time in which there was a degree of hope for Chris. Chris successfully reconciled with Null, who eventually helped organize a trip for Chris so that he could attend [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention, on the condition that [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Chris would complete commission work in exchange for his donations]]. Null believed that this was a worthy effort in order to see if he could sustain himself as an adult through self-employment, particularly ahead of Barb's death. Chris actually kept up with these obligations, doing a considerable amount of work compared to previous months of less output. Had he kept his pace up post-convention, and with the right financial guidance, Chris could conceivably keep a roof over his head for at least another year. All seemed relatively normal for Chris as far as the post-Idea Guys status quo went, and some fans anticipated the possibility that Chris, now upset about MLP G5, would do something amusing at the convention as he prepared for the trip, just like old times.<br />
<br />
[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot_2.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in 2021. {{w|Psycho (1960 film)|"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly!"}}]]<br />
<br />
What happened next turned everything completely on its head. Chris would not, in fact, be going to Everfree Northwest. He would not be going to any future convention, for that matter, as the point of no return was finally passed after years of online infamy.<br />
<br />
On 29 July 2021, [[Incest Call|an audio recording of a conversation between Chris and the troll]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] surfaced online, featuring a graphic discussion in which [[Affair with Mother|Chris described sexual acts that he committed with his own mother]] – a felony – over the course of several weeks. While trolls joked about Chris potentially committing incest before, few actually believed that he was capable of acting on those impulses and taking advantage of an elderly (and possibly senile) woman. Once these details got out, nothing would ever be the same: he and Barb were separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], he had to vacate his only home due to a week-long protective order, he was very quickly banned from the convention that he'd hoped to attend, and his [[Patreon]] account – one of his few real sources of income – was taken down. Null quickly washed his hands of Chris for good, not only after learning that the audio leak was legitimate, but also when he realized that Chris effectively stole approximately $750 from Barb to fund his stay at a hotel. Chris was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] on 1 August 2021, an event which was live-streamed by [[Post-Merge Era|multiple orbiters]]. Chris's actions during this time trended on social media and were covered by various news outlets, including getting a segment on Fox News, which in turn exposed him to millions of boomers.<br />
<br />
Chris spent the next several months in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] after being arrested by the Henrico County sheriffs department, awaiting a court hearing set for 28 [[July 2022]], following three continuances. While waiting in jail, Chris's [[Messiah complex|delusions of godhood]] have spiraled out of control as he now believes himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus of Nazareth}} reincarnated and the [[Dimensional Merge]] to be proceeding entirely as planned. During this time, Chris has kept in touch with the outside world via a multitude of [[Jail Communications]] discussing a variety of subjects, from his jail conditions to [[Chris and religion|his renewed interest in the Bible]] and [[Weening|ween]] attempts to convert him to Islam through reading the Qur'an. These letters and phone calls have also revealed that Chris has been kept in protective custody for his own safety.<br />
<br />
Early into [[March 2022]], it was learned that Chris was transferred out of jail into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution. During this time, Chris was isolated from the outside world and what he was up to while there will most likely remain unknown until his next hearing. He returned to [[CVRJ]] on [[May 2022|3 May 2022]], with a new mugshot taken upon his arrival, showing that Chris looks much more gaunt than before and has lost a substantial amount of weight. Unfortunately, subsequent mail correspondence indicates that his time away from the jail has not caused him to face reality, sticking to his fantasies.<br />
<br />
==Future==<br />
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|[[Jail Saga#Arrest|Some of Chris's last spoken words recorded on video.]]}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[2022]], returned to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. What nine months behind bars does to [[Chris and sex#Incest|a motherfucker]].]]<br />
<br />
As it stands, Chris is set to remain in custody for several months in a best-case scenario. If Chris has been deemed incompetent to stand trial, he may be taken back to being held indefinitely in a mental health facility so the state can keep tabs on him, even if the case is continued after July. Beyond that, there are many ways that the trial may go.<br />
<br />
At best, Chris may get off scot-free aside from receiving mandatory therapy; albeit while still being registered as a sex offender, which would [[List of places that have banned Chris#Looking ahead|ban him for a minimum of 15 years]] (if not outright permanently) from any place attended by minors (including the conventions and gaming/toy stores he likes going to so much), as well as barring him from accessing the Internet without supervision. At worst, he's looking at a significant amount of prison time on top of being virtually unemployable upon release, likely unable to get income online since his fanbase has lost sympathy for him, and he'd be especially screwed since his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] would be permanently revoked under such circumstances. Additionally, Virginia is a three-strike law state, and since Chris already [[28 October 2011|committed two]] [[26 December 2014|serious felonies]] in the past, his incest charge is very likely going to be his third strike, resulting in a much tougher sentence. Given Chris' reputation, being placed in general population could be an especially dangerous issue for him while he's incarcerated, because it means that if he does not remain in some form of protective custody while serving his sentence<ref>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)]]</ref>, there is a significant likelihood that he'll [[Kick the Autistic|become a target amongst inmates]] and be subjected to extreme sexual and/or physical violence and other such abuse; especially with the high rates of discrimination and assault that transgender and autistic people often, unfortunately, face while in prison, regardless of reputation or actions.<br />
<br />
If Barb did not consent to the affair (which may very well be the case), Chris could wind up getting an added Rape charge, netting himself a potential life sentence. This is because, in the State of Virginia, the maximum sentence for felony incest is 10 years, while the maximum sentence for Rape is life. Once [[Chris and death#Barbara Chandler|Barb passes away]], or if it is discovered that she consented and/or made the first move ([[Jail_Letter_-_11_May_2022|as has also been suggested]], and would be consistent with her long-known [[Barbara_Chandler#Spooning|inappropriately touchy-feely behavior around Chris]]), [[14 Branchland Court]] itself will likely be foreclosed upon and potentially [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|condemned]] in order to resolve the [[Financhu Crisis]] and to either pay for her funeral expenses in the former scenario, or so that she can be charged as a willing accomplice in the latter scenario.<br />
<br />
If Chris ''does'' manage to get out of jail, he won't have many options from there, except for the following:<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|thumb|left|[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|Chris in the present]], following his arrest (albeit without Barb in the background, due to the restraining order).]]<br />
<br />
* He can try to seek out another family member to live off of (virtually impossible, and even more so after previous family members refused to shelter Chris after learning that he had sex with Barb; additionally, he has had next-to-no contact with any of them in recent years).<br />
* A social worker could help place him into assisted living (something Null even offered to help with until the incest fallout and Chris stealing $750 from Barb shortly before his arrest drove him away; so this is theoretically possible down the line — especially given that dedicated locations for it do exist for sex offenders — but quite unlikely).<br />
* He can attempt to beg online to live with someone (which would be next to impossible due to him being inhumanly intolerable to live with and the fact that how having sexual relations with his elderly mother for months would be a clear sign that nobody would want to adopt him), with [[Jacob Sockness]] being the only possible taker.<br />
* Finally, he can enter the so-called "Homeless Saga" and live as a vagrant on the streets (by far the most likely outcome, after Chris serves his prison sentence), putting himself at risk of getting robbed, assaulted, and gangbanged by weens, A-Logs, and criminals until his eventual death; be it by [[Death threats|homicide]], [[Chris and Death#Suicide|suicide]], [[Chris and drugs|substance abuse]], or a [[Biology#Health_and_Disease|fatal illness]] contracted from an unhealthy vagrant lifestyle.<br />
<br />
Some of these options are better than others, but none of them are ideal for him. This is also to say nothing of [[Chris and health|his many existing issues with mental and physical health]] (both of which will continue to decay and show no sign of recovering anytime soon). In any case, Chris's story is one that seems fated to [[Chris and Death#Chris himself (1982–)|not have a happy ending]], with his life perhaps serving as a cautionary tale in the age of the internet. A tale of [[Borb|bad parenting]], [[Chris and socialization|social isolation]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|gullibility]], [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and work|laziness]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], [[Chris and sex|sexual deviancy]], and most importantly, a tale of the world witnessing in real-time the slow, painful degradation of another human being.<br />
<br />
==Featured Fan Videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story<br />
| ytid = DxAhBoYfWy4<br />
| Stardate = 20 November 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris Chan ~ Ruler of Everything<br />
| ytid = Wul6LgL8FvI<br />
| Stardate = 4 March 2021<br />
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIbrqVkPdL_5qrgjwHYytQg First Son]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] – Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.<br />
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] – Chris's furry alter ego.<br />
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].<br />
* [[User:Christianchandler]] – Chris's own CWCki account<br />
<br />
{{CWCipedia}}<br />
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the {{w|Internet Movie Database}}<br />
<br />
{{Newbie}}<br />
{{Check this out}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}} <br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris]]<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]<br />
[[Category:Homos]]<br />
[[Category:Autistic]]<br />
[[Category:LGBT]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki:Frequently_Asked_Questions&diff=289579CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions2022-05-29T22:23:15Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* The CWCki itself */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|Welcome to the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]].]]<br />
<br />
'''Welcome, new Christorian.'''<br />
<br />
New people are being initiated to the quirks and horrors of [[Chris]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[troll]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.<br />
<br />
All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about the internet's favorite manchild. <br />
<br />
''This page was last updated on 12 May 2022.''<br />
==Trolling==<br />
<br />
; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?<br />
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris and his entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism (see [[Chris in the media]]). There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to a wider attention on the Internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was first [[28 October 2011|arrested and convicted]] of a felony, he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]], and accidentally [[Destruction Of Chris's House|set fire to]] [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] in real life as well. If you don't believe us, you can look up Chris's many [[Chris and the law|court records]], both civil and criminal. <br />
<br />
; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] <s>guy</s> person?<br />
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. Most modern Chris-observers, having seen the [[Idea Guys|extreme damage]] that some trolls could wreak, hold a dim view of [[weening|contemporary trolling efforts]]. The motivations of Chris's trolls over the years has varied, but few had any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem. Some former trolls have even [[BlueSpike#Today|expressed regret]] for taking things too far in their younger years. <br />
<br />
: Even before the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] scandal, Chris has been notorious on the Internet as a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Niggos|intol]][[Women's rights|erant]], [[Obesity|unfit]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Chris and work|sullen]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes his [[United States|countrymen]]'s hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society (comics aside), despite those with more severe mental states living far more independently and successfully. <br />
<br />
: On top of that, Chris was once incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling; this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation. While Chris was [[Chris and manipulation|manipulated]] into making many of these videos, he ultimately decided to create and publish them. <br />
<br />
:However, before you want to inflict harm upon Chris and claim that Chris gives you [[Autism|autistics]] 'a bad name', please read the [[A-Logging]] and [[Weening]] articles.<br />
<br />
; Why don't you try helping him instead?<br />
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he refuses to listen. Even his [[Anna McLerran|actual friends]] could not help him. From 2018 onward, he managed to alienate nearly all of his IRL friends, instead preferring interactions with [[imaginary friends]], [[enablers]], and fans at [[conventions]]. He will only listen if you tell him what he wants to hear. <br />
<br />
; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?<br />
: '''All efforts to troll Chris are ''very strongly discouraged'''''. The effects of Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]]'s death, his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s ill-health and, most recently, the [[Idea Guys]]' deliberately manipulative trolling operations against him have left Chris's grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] (and his well-being in general) tenuous at best, with various [[enablers]] making it even worse. Relating to this is how he is [[Weening#The Chris of today is nothing like his former self|now a very, ''very'' different person]] from who he was when the trolling was at its peak, and only sees such attempts to provoke him as indirect support for his current worldview; so it's not even worth bothering with if you're going into it expecting to get amusing reactions along the lines of the past. For some time, the [[Kiwi Farms]] community, with which this wiki is associated, maintained a {{plain link|https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lunatics-who-attack-a-mentally-handicapped-person.35124/|wall of shame}} for [[weening|those]] who seek to disrupt Chris and entertain nobody, and even now will actively go after anyone who attempts to do so. Times have changed; so keeping all this in mind, you'll be far better off just sticking with [[CWCki|casual observation]] and helping to [[CWCki:Improvement|document and provide information]] on developments and occurrences in Chris's life as they come.<br />
<br />
==Psychology==<br />
<br />
; Is he currently seeing a psychiatrist or therapist?<br />
: '''Maybe.''' Chris was legally required in [[2018]], among other things, to attend psychological therapy as an alternative to [[Chris and the law#2018|conviction]] after trespassing. Since 23 April 2019, he has fulfilled this obligation and no longer has any professional help. Chris dismisses the idea of seeking professional help, preferring to [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles|administer it to himself using Lego]]. See [[Chris and mental healthcare]]. Since 1 [[August 2021]], [[Jail Saga|Chris is in custody, awaiting trial for incest]]; he is likely to be ordered to undergo more psychiatric treatment. At the end of February 2022, Chris was transferred to another presently-unknown facility, most likely a psychiatric hospital. It is widely believed this treatment ended, and he was returned to jail in early May 2022.<br />
<br />
; Is he really autistic?<br />
: '''Yes.''' Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], Chris was diagnosed with ''autistic disorder'' (DSM-IV 299.00) as a young child, and the same report backs up his claim. See [[Autism]]. However, his common qualifying phrase ''high-functioning'' means only that he is not [[slow-in-the-minds|mentally retarded]]. The phrase is not formally part of the diagnosis, and many autism advocates discourage its use. <br />
<br />
; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?<br />
: '''It depends''' on what counts as ''having'' Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed with it, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label. Among institutions that still distinguish between autism and Asperger's, of which many do not, Asperger's syndrome is distinguished from severer varieties of autism by average intelligence and adequate language ability, matching Chris. Dr Asperger's work was in German, and not known to Anglophone psychiatrists until the early [[1990s]]; Chris probably would have received this diagnosis instead if he born a few years later. Furthermore, the condition was removed from the modern ''DSM-5'' and replaced with the catch-all ''Autism Spectrum Disorder'', making the distinction completely meaningless. <br />
<br />
; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]] or intellectually disabled?<br />
: '''[[:File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg|Maybe.]]''' A more proper word for Chris is ''inept'', even if Chris was to be considered intellectually disabled, it'll certainly be a mild or borderline intellectual disability. Despite there might be a possibility, he still managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent (albeit warped and [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]]) ethical system and recognises when what he is doing is not working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or go about his way anyway). His foolishness is in that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering, and that after years of internet manipulation, his ability to distinguish [[Chris and reality|reality]] from fantasy has wasted away.<br />
<br />
; What is Chris's IQ?<br />
: '''That's inconclusive,''' In [[Mailbag 19]] and [[Mailbag 21]], he claimed to have taken an IQ test at a [[Chesterfield County]] institute, most likely as a teenager. He received an IQ of "150". In [[Mailbag 22]], a commenter pointed out that he may have taken the Cattell IQ test (150 on the Cattell is 130 on the standard scale), unless he was outright lying, which is most likely. An IQ of 130 is above average, but not genius material. Many autistic people also excel at pattern thinking, which is a key area of many IQ tests. Also, IQ doesn't measure [[Honor roll|what you've learned]], [[Kindness|empathy]], social skills, or other areas that count towards real-world success. Even if Chris did have a high IQ, it hasn't done much for him in the real world.<br />
<br />
; Is Chris schizophrenic?<br />
: '''Probably not.''' While autism and schizophrenia share some symptoms, their development is nothing like each other. Autism is inborn and shows in early childhood, while schizophrenia usually appears well into adulthood. Schizophrenia's symptoms often deteriorate over time, while autism is normally constant throughout life (except for a few children who relapse into non-verbosity). <abbr title="Inability to distinguish reality from fantasy.">Psychosis</abbr> and confused language are common to both, but take different forms: schizophrenics may hear voices or otherwise hallucinate and think disjointedly (whence the name), while autists understand others' normal language literally, missing the subtext that something fictional is not meant to be taken seriously, and presuming their own thoughts automatically clear to others.<br />
<br />
:Furthermore, Chris does distinguish between fantasy and reality, simply deluding himself into believing that the fantasy world is real on another [[dimension]]. Also, Chris's visions of that dimension come from [[meditation]] (read: daydreaming), not involuntary hallucinations.<br />
<br />
==Sex==<br />
; Is Chris an <abbr title="Involuntary celibate">incel</abbr>? If not, what's the deal with the love quest?<br />
: Chris never used the word for himself, but his beliefs and actions overlapped significantly with what is now the incel community. The word ''incel'' only entered common use about [[2017]].<ref>[https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&q=incel Global search trends for ''incel'']</ref> Chris described himself long before this as a [[virgin with rage]], even bringing up the term in casual conversations with people he just met. He would speak of [[boyfriend-free girl]]s, the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]], and even a conspiracy that [[Virginia is for virgins|true love was illegal in his home state]]. <br />
<br />
: He viewed his search for a suitable mate as the [[Love Quest]], treating his search for a girlfriend like a video game. He wrote [[Saddest Heart in the World|poems]], [[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas|letters to Santa]], and even [[So Need a Cute Girl|"Weird Al"-style parody songs]] about his biggest problem: that other [[JERKS]] (men) take all the pretty [[sweetheart]]s. While he has lost his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm|prostitute]], he has not been in a relationship that led to sex, and his Love Quest only ended when he destroyed his libido through [[Chris and health#Hormone treatment|self-administered oestrogen]] and [[polyamorous marriage|''married'']] his [[OC]]s by early 2018. While it would be anachronistic to call him an incel, as his Love Quest was already dead by the time the word and community became current, he certainly behaved like them years before. <br />
<br />
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?<br />
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not [[TRUE and HONEST]] love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] though, Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to [[Mia Hamm|a hooker]] who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref><br />
<br />
; What is Chris's sexual orientation?<br />
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there is no consensus on this. For most of his adult life, Chris acted as though he was attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked. In [[2018]], while under the [[Idea Guys]]' manipulative influence, Chris was [[brainwashed]] into believing he was [[bisexual]], and was [[polyamorous marriage|married to several of his (mostly male) fictional characters]], retaining these beliefs long after the Idea Guys were ousted, yet has made no attempts to get into a relationship with a real-life man. [[Jacob Sockness]] attempted to groom Chris into a relationship but Chris ultimately distanced himself from Sockness. Some consider that Chris is too immature to have earnest sexual attraction towards others (see ''Is Chris asexual?'', below.) <br />
<br />
; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?<br />
: '''Yes.''' Chris had tweeted in [[2018]] <!--- Which month? One should link to the tweet page.--> that he is one. Traditionally he would state that he did not consider himself to be one,<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref> yet it was clear from an early period that he did enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, even [[Rule 34|drawing his own]] into [[Sonichu 8|his]] [[Giant Penis Comic|comics]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[ECV 00002|Chris-Chan Sonichu]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, yet he does not participate in the wider furry community. <br />
<br />
; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?<br />
: '''No''', but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these actions are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.<br />
<br />
; Is Chris transgender?<br />
: '''Yes.''' As of 2015, Chris identifies as [[transgender]]. He had explored his gender identity for years beforehand stemming from gender dysphoria issues, in 2011 identifying as a "tomgirl" (identifying as male and crossdressing as a woman); in 2014, identifying as [[August_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_comes_out...kinda|Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser]] and as a lesbian; and identifying as female and transgender in 2015 when he began referring to himself as a "trans woman" and "Christine" and legally changed his name and gender in [[2016]]. Well before [[2011]], when Chris first called himself a tomgirl, he had been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he had worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]].<br />
<br />
; Is Chris asexual?<br />
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional rite of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive was atypical even before beginning hormone replacement therapy in [[2016]], evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]]. It is worth noting that a moderately common autistic symptom is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person. Many asexuals also possess a libido and can enjoy masturbation or sex; the difference lies in a lack of real attraction to other people.<br />
<br />
==''Sonichu''==<br />
; What's the deal with [[Sonic]], anyway?<br />
: Chris has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and [[1993|many years ago,]] was one of 100 winners of a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] which, through its grand prize of a $1000 {{w|KB Toys|Kay-Bee Toys}} shopping spree, allowed him to stock up on various ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series in general also appears to have certain qualities that attract autistic fans more than other game series.<br />
<br />
; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?<br />
: For those who may be curious, they are located [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|here]].<br />
<br />
; Will he ever draw more [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]?<br />
: Chris stopped drawing regular comics in [[February 2010]] with [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]; since then, he has released issues 11 to 13 and partially completed issues 14 to 17; however, these later issues often only bear a slight resemblance to the traditional comics and are more about whatever trolling issues have been happening.<br />
<br />
==Contact Chris==<br />
; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?<br />
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris does not read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref> Anyway, Chris is currently in jail with no access to the [[Internet]].<br />
<br />
; What is his dox?<br />
: Chris's dox can be found [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]].<br />
<br />
==The CWCki itself==<br />
; Does the CWCki exaggerate or spin anything?<br />
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter and the intentional omission of information from trolls who were [[Manipulation|manipulating]] Chris. Many were CWCki editors themselves. This is especially true for the [[Classic Chris]] era. <br />
<br />
: For various good reasons, the CWCki largely covers the Classic sagas from Chris's perspective: information presented here was what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It is probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much as it is best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are often contrived, especially when covering events prior to Bob's death.<br />
<br />
: For example: <br />
<br />
:* [[Clyde Cash]] was the fictitious persona of a single anonymous troll, but the CWCki treats him as if he ''were'' a real person because he was to Chris. We also treat each of his personas as separate people because they were to Chris. <br />
<br />
:* We keep a single article on [[Blanca]] and not the multiple male trolls who played her. <br />
<br />
:* [[Emily]] and [[Kim]] were played by the same woman, but the CWCki treats them as separate people because they were to Chris. <br />
<br />
:* Celebrity trolls are obviously trolls impersonating celebrities – did you really think [[Billy Mays]] was involved in trolling?<br />
<br />
: For transparency's sake, the CWCki discloses such discrepancies from reality using Protip boxes, troll disclosures, and other notices. <br />
<br />
: Coverage of Modern Christory takes a more matter-of-fact approach, thanks to the ease of [[dox]]ing Internet trolls. Modern CWCki editors are also gradually transitioning classic articles away from the dramatized writing of yesterday, so those who prefer clarity are in luck. <br />
<br />
; What's the deal with ''Chris and''? What is a saga?<br />
: The CWCki has '''a few series that tie it all together'''. You can think of them as the skeleton, bloodstream, and nervous system of the site.<br />
:* The [[Chris and]] series. This series is purely topical – it discusses subjects as they relate to Chris, regardless of the time period. These are the things that make Chris Chris. Such topics range from Chris's relationship with [[Chris and art|art]] and [[Video games|gaming]], to his [[health|physical]] and [[Coping|mental health]]. <br />
:* The [[Saga]] page. It describes the major events in Chris's life from the womb to the modern world, but still takes a topical approach, looking at arcs and happenings in Chris's existence.<br />
:* The [[CWChronology]]: purely chronological as its name suggests. Here, you can learn Chris's entire story from start to now, even including events from before his conception. <br />
; What happened to the tagline ''Where no shit is too minor''?<br />
: The tagline was '''retired''' on 20 December 2019, '''because there was a significant increase in people trying to influence Chris'''. Many of them fall into one of the ''[[Unholy Quintet]]'':<br />
:* [[White Knights]] – people who feel sorry for Chris, and try to help Chris, often without realising that getting Chris to halt his [[Chris and his Ego|self-destructive lifestyle]] is going to take a lot more than [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job|a message]] on social media, or a [[Patreon]] donation.<br />
:* [[A-Logging|A-logs]] – people who express disproportionate hatred for Chris, often wishing [[Destruction Of Chris's House|misery]] or physical harm on him.<br />
:* [[Enablers]] – people who encourage Chris’s negative habits. Some White Knights find themselves having to do this to get in touch with Chris. Some weens have also found themselves doing this to purposefully screw him up.<br />
:* [[Weens]] – people who try to ruin Chris’s life, often by trying to get him [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from places that he visits, or pure [[Idea Guys#Extortion|extortion]].<br />
:*[[Carpetbaggers]] – people who attempt to capitalize on Chris' infamy for dishonest purposes. <br />
<br />
; Why does the CWCki continue to refer to Chris by his old name and pronouns?<br />
:*The simplest reason for this is '''consistency'''. The CWCki has thousands of articles, and it would be an impossible, arduous task to change every "he" to "she" throughout Chris's entire existence, plus it's effectively [[Retcon|historical revisionism]]. <br />
:*Some articles require the context of Chris's maleness. References to Chris's orientation and past hatred of [[gay]] men won't be as obvious if we didn't address Chris by his assigned gender. Same thing with atypical/feminine behavior (such as his high voice and use of "Gal-Pals"), and behavior considered creepy for guys but not so much for women (such as getting [[Megan|touchy-feely]]).<br />
:*Using "he" pre-transition and "she" post-transition may seem like a fair compromise, but the exact beginning of Chris's transition is hard to define. It can be confusing on articles that cover Chris both before and after his transition, such as the [[Chris and]] series. Dissenting users have also suggested using "(s)he" or "they", but Chris doesn't use they/them pronouns either, and "(s)he" looks clunky.<br />
:*Community consensus. YouTube and Twitter commentators overwhelmingly call Chris male, as do some [[Sachumo|documentarians]]. While Chris did receive a legal name/gender change, there's considerable debate in the community as to whether he is a genuine trans woman. CWC communities, such as [[Kiwi Farms]], have an unfortunate tendency to "misgender" trans people in general. [[Null]] said he refers to Chris as "he" because he "carries male genetics" and insisted that he was a straight male most of his life. Most Christorians use "he" for Chris, and the CWCki reflects this trend. <br />
:* Relating to the above, his previous first names ('''Chris'''topher, '''Chris'''tian) and his current one ('''Chris'''tine) can all easily be shortened to just "Chris", "Chris-Chan" or "CWC", which is what he's mostly referred to as anyway regardless of pronouns.<br />
<br />
==Miscellaneous==<br />
<br />
; What does he smell like?<br />
: As of 19 October 2019, {{plain link|https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5483529|cannabis}}. Historical answers include "rotten watermelons" (according to [[Emily]]), a variant of the [[Collosal Chan|homeless person]] stench (according to [[Robert Simmons V]]) or, as some field agents have reported, 'body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]'. The point is, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]]. While in jail, it seems his hygiene improved, with [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|daily showers]] the norm. <br />
<br />
; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?<br />
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.<br />
<br />
; What's the deal with the striped shirts?<br />
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref> Following Chris's introduction to the world of Internet trolling, [[Chris and fashion|his wardrobe went through several iterations]] before eventually settling on its current [[tomgirl]] form.<br />
<br />
; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?<br />
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin,<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162</ref> probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common [[autism|autistic]] symptom. <br />
<br />
; Does Chris drink or do [[drugs]]?<br />
: Chris was firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life, he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker".<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref> He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]], [[100 2281|Kahlúa]] and vodka, but seems to drink only occasionally, or when encouraged by [[troll]]s. He also smoked marijuana with the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. He was legally required to abstain from any drugs or alcohol during after being placed on Virginia's [[Chris and the law|Therapeutic Docket]] in late 2018 and early 2019.<br />
<br />
; What's this about Jimmy Hill?<br />
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of the very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]]. <br />
<br />
: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]]. Hill died in 2015.<br />
<br />
; Why does Chris call his disability check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?<br />
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[CWC-isms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in", referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $1,000 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.<br />
<br />
; Has he ever had a [[job]] at all?<br />
: He worked for [[Wendy's]] a few months in 2001, but he was fired for unknown reasons. He briefly sold knives for the multi-level marketing company [[Cutco]], which was his last true job (if you could call it that). He also occasionally does [[commissions]] for art and videos, but he has slowed down on that, even though his art and videos are the closest thing he has to a skill. <br />
<br />
; Where does Chris currently publish new content?<br />
: Chris is currently in jail and the only content he releases are letters and phone calls. He was also writing a "[[Goddess Log]]" in jail that will most likely be released once he is. <br />
<br />
; What do [[Megan]]/[[Michael Snyder]]/Old Gal-Pals/et. cetera think of Chris now that he spooned his mother?<br />
: It is not known for certain what people from earlier in Chris's life make of his incestuous affair with his mother. However, many of these people have also moved on from Chris since then.<br />
<br />
; Where can I learn more about this guy?<br />
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, we would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:<br />
<br />
:* [https://www.kiwifarms.net/ The Kiwi Farms] - The official forum of this fine wiki.<br />
:* The CWCki's official [https://discord.com/invite/b5GU9cz discord server]. <br />
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (to be taken with a grain of salt)<br />
:* [[Documentary|Documentaries]] available on YouTube<br />
:* [https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu /r/ChrisChanSonichu], the largest Reddit community dedicated to Chris<br />
<br />
==Introductory Guide:==<br />
{{Newbie}}<br />
<br />
==Important Articles==<br />
{{Check this out}}<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
*[[Common Questions]] for Chris's own answers to fan questions<br />
*[[CWCki:Gossip|Gossip]] for common misconceptions regarding Christory<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
[[Category:Special]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Clyde_Cash&diff=289263Clyde Cash2022-05-23T03:21:38Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* PSN Hacking */ Slight corrections, and added a reference to the actual manga scene (including formatting) to accompany the picture.</p>
<hr />
<div>''Even though the troll behind Clyde had played multiple characters, this article primarily tackles Chris's interactions with the Clyde persona. All of Clyde's other personas are discussed [[Clyde Cash#Other Aliases|towards the end of the article]].''<br />
<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
{{Unreliable|type=misinfo}}<br />
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}<br />
{{Troll|He was played by the same person behind Gregg Mays, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Bryan Bash]], [[Mao Ling]], and [[Shigeru Miyamoto]].}}<br />
{{quote|No, no! The goal is to make sure you never get laid. That is the goal of the Miscreants.|Clyde to Chris when introducing him to the Miscreants.<ref name = miscreants>[[Mumble 9]]</ref>}}<br />
{{quote|Yer [[Butt garments|butt]]'s gonna be [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|in trouble]].|[[Barbara Chandler]] to Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox Person<br />
| title = Clyde Cash<br />
| name = Clyde Cash<br />
| image = TheRealClydeCash.jpg|imagesize=250px<br />
| nationality = [[United States|American]]<ref name=personal/><br />
| aliases = Gregg Mays<br> [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] <br> TheGreggMays<br> Mr. Sin Dinero<ref>[[Secret Weapon]]</ref><br> Mr. Clyde<ref>[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]</ref><br> Clyde No-cash<ref name = trollsta>[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]</ref><br> Starscream troll<ref name = starscream>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)#Sex Life]]</ref><br />
| day = 4<br />
| month = 7<br />
| year = 1976<br />
| birthsrc = <ref name=license/><br />
| gender = Male<br />
|nationality = [[United States|American]]<br />
|race = White<br />
|spouse = [[PandaHalo]]<br />
|knownfor = *Raping Pandahalo, and being happily married to her<br>*Creating a forum full of fake female Sonichu fans<br>*Being the leader of the Miscreants<br>*Plotting to send hookers to Chris's house after Emily gets stolen by a man in a pickle suit<br />
|children = Penny Cash<ref name = penny>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref><br />
|siblings = Ryan Cash (brother)<br />
|relatives = [[Vivian Gee]] (cousin)<br />
|occupation = Musician<br>{{TrollOccupation}}<br />
|organization = The Miscreants (founder, former leader)<br />
|saga = {{saga|clyde|cn}}, {{saga|panda|cn}}, {{saga|miyamoto|cn}}, {{saga|julie|cn}}, {{saga|ps3|cn}}, {{saga|emily|cn}}, {{saga|ivy|cn}}, {{saga|tito|cn}}, {{saga|jackie|cn}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' – that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref name=license>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) was the ringleader of [[The Miscreants]] and is often considered to be Chris's arch-nemesis, even years after his trolling days were finished. In recent years, however, some have argued that people like the [[Idea Guys]] have taken this position away from Clyde. Nonetheless, when people think of Chris Chan's greatest trolls, Clyde is usually chief among them, usually due to the sheer volume of videos that Chris made denouncing or threatening his Guido rival.<br />
<br />
Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite Chris in the ass, such as his [[Chris's resume|unwillingness to work]], [[Financhu Crisis|spending habits]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|delusional thoughts]] and [[Women's rights|poor treatment of women]], and even [[IRC (20 January 2009)|predicted]] Chris' innate desire to [[Tomgirl Pictures|dress like]] [[Transgender|and eventually become a woman]]. Clyde also attempted to try to use his trolling attempts to get Chris to understand some unpleasant truths to help him understand the error of his ways, similarly to his [[Vivian Gee]] persona, but to no avail.<br />
<br />
Multiple trolls (usually [[Weening|weens]]) utilized the alias of Clyde Cash during [[Christorical eras|"Classic Era" of Christory]], but the original found the most success in getting under Chris's skin. As mentioned above, the original troll behind the Clyde Cash persona was also involved with a variety of other personas dedicated to trolling Chris, and at least one was active at any given time prior to the disbanding of the Miscreants. Clyde and his various proxies retired following the death of [[Bob Chandler]], with no clear word about where the original troll went.<br />
<br />
__TOC__<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
<!--==Timeline==--><br />
==Prologue==<br />
<br />
The Clyde Cash saga is often considered one of the most memoriable to observers. This is in part due to the sheer amount of activity from the troll, and all of the ways that Chris reacted to Clyde's efforts. The Clyde Cash saga included Chris wishing physical harm on Clyde, several videos showing repeated attempts to blackmail him, a video where he compares his strength to the Twin Towers, videos involving the abuse of a clown doll, a video where Chris dons orange-brown face paint to impersonate his nemesis, the formation of a group whose sole purpose was to prevent Chris from getting a sweetheart, the stealing of several of Chris's potential sweethearts, and a few comic appearances as a chrome-domed villain with a jetpack.<br />
<br />
===Pre-Trolling Life===<br />
<br />
According to an obituary detailing his supposed death, before becoming the guido nemesis of Chris, Clyde was a famed musician, creating music for his brother Ryan following his death. Clyde had also been known for many years to adopt children and raise them, especially when adoption rates were low.<ref name = obituary>[[:File:Clyde Cash obituary.png]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Ryan's Death===<br />
[[Image:Ryan.jpg|thumb|200px|A brother swears vengeance.]]<br />
{{see also|CWC Update 28 December 2008|Chris and death#Troll manipulation}}<br />
<br />
'''Ryan Cash''' was the fictional brother of Clyde, who committed suicide when Chris announced there would be no comics released, witholding [[Sonichu 7]], in protest of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He left the following note before killing himself:<br />
<br />
<br><br />
<br />
{{quote|Dear family and friends, this is my final message to you, i am going to kill myself after my hero, christian weston chandler let me down. [[Sonichu]] was my hero and without anymore [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] i will never be able to aspire to be just like him. i hate christian for deciding to not make any more comics and being lazy! all he does is play his stupid [[video game]] and [[Chris and his ego|not care about anything but himself]]! He's such a [[jerk]]! GOOD BYE FOREVER I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HELL CHRIS. Ryan Cash.|A sad final farewell.}}<br />
<br />
Clyde was absolutely heartbroken upon discovering his brother's cadaver, and entered a state of depression. While Chris was upset by this news, due to his [[naïve]] understanding of [[Chris and death|the concept of death]], [[CWC Update 28 December 2008|his response to the news]] came across as condescending to a grieving Clyde, who was upset that the video wasn't dedicated to his brother, but various news items that were seemingly of more importance to Chris. The final straw was when Chris made a thoughtless comment indicating that [[Chris and his ego|he enjoyed having enough influence over someone]] that they could kill themselves after he took a course of action.<br />
<br />
==Trolling==<br />
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|200px|An artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]<br />
<br />
Following from Ryan's death, Clyde's grief transformed into righteous indignation, and he swore to avenge his fallen brother by setting himself on a path to become Chris's archnemesis, even if he had to become a monster to do so. Clyde achieved notoriety for his various trolling plans against Chris.<br />
<br />
===Rape of PandaHalo===<br />
<br />
The first plan involving the Clyde persona was to make Chris believe that Clyde had raped his current [[sweetheart]], [[PandaHalo]].<ref name = rape>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Panda announced this revelation to Chris in an IRC chat, and told him that she was pregnant. In response, Clyde repeatedly called her a "liar."<ref name = rape/> Despite Chris's initial shock of the revelation, he was still willing to forgive Clyde for this, and proposed that Panda get an abortion. Ultimately, Chris was unaffected by all of this and simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref name = penny/><br />
<br />
===Sonichu Girls===<br />
{{Main|Sonichu Girls}}<br />
<br />
Clyde also created a fake group of female Sonichu fans known as '''Sonichu Girls'''.<ref name = sonichugirls>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100425184455/http://sonichugirls.yuku.com/topic/120/t/I-Clyde-Cash-have-revealed-the-truth-behind-SonichuGirls.html Wayback Machine Link to Clyde admitting to creating Sonichu Girls]</ref> This group was co-founded by Sarah May, who previously white-knighted Chris in IRC chats he had with Clyde,<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> and another gal-pal named Cassie. The group was primarily made up of troll personas that were later used to catfish Chris, including Julie and Emily. Not much else is known about Clyde's involvement with the project, though the forum was later repurposed into a message board for trolls, many of whom were from [[the Miscreants]].<br />
<br />
==="Julie"===<br />
<br />
Clyde once again baited and threatened Chris with Julie, a trollsona created by a 13-year-old troll that went by the name of [[BlueSpike]]. Bluespike had set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[TRUE and HONEST]] ''Sonichu'' fans. He also operated under two aliases, "Julie" and "Max" Milvana, two siblings who came from the nation of [[Molvania]], luring Chris into various trolling plans with the Julie character, and threatening Julie with the Max character. <br />
<br />
Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating the Mumble chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]] or threatening Chris that he will harm Julie, unless [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|he admits that he's gay]], leading to unexpected results. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of BlueSpike. <br />
<br />
[[File:ThePatriots1.png|thumb|The Patriots from ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', an inspiration for personas created by the trolls that called themselves the Miscreants.]]<br />
Clyde later acted as the founder and original leader of a made up group called "the Miscreants", a group of people who trolled Chris from early 2009 to 2011, terminating the group following [[Bob]]'s death. Clyde has claimed the original purpose of the group was to prevent Chris from finding a boyfriend-free girl.<ref name = miscreants/> Supposedly being a group that's been around since ancient times, they also claimed to be resposible for many of Chris's past misfortunes, prophesizing that a man dressed as a [[Pickle|pickled cucumber]] would [[Emily|steal one of his sweethearts]].<ref>[[:File:TapestryPickleMan.jpg]]</ref><br />
<br />
When it was announced that Max had kidnaped Julie, Clyde later claimed on 24 February 2009 that he had plans to send Julie off to China in 9 hours, to which Chris responded that he would [[Ohio Trip|make his way to Ohio]] to save her.<ref>[[Clyde E-mails#February 24, 2009]]</ref> Of course, this effort proved fruitless, as the address he was given belonged to a rundown house owned by an elderly lady.<br />
<br />
After tinkering with the new Max character, BlueSpike prompted Chris to do things like shoving pieces of his [[medallion]] up his ass, and telling him to say the word "niggers".<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref> This prompted Clyde to kick BlueSpike out of the Miscreants. In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll".<ref name = starscream/> This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and reality|because he believes]] Clyde had killed [[BlueSpike]] after he had been kicked out of the Miscreants.<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Chruch Audio and The Hooker Incident===<br />
<br />
During Chris's short break from the Internet, Clyde sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> From this, both MIPS and Robert discovered several more details about Chris's personal life, such as citing Family Guy as evidence that homosexuality is sinful, and that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] had encouraged him to continue reading [[How to Talk to Girls]]. <br />
<br />
Chris later went on a date with [[Emily]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. The MIPS then stole her from Chris, which then prompted Emily to declare to Chris that she would live with Clyde instead of him, and for Chris to publicly declare the MIPS's association with Clyde.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> Clyde later claimed responsibility for the failed date in a call with Chris which followed soon after providing him with a group of "escorts" to help him with his Love Quest.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Harassment of Ivy===<br />
<br />
When [[Ivy]] came along, Clyde decided to continually harass her. He leaked information regarding her, which provoked Chris to threaten him. Despite this, Ivy eventually gave in and rumors circulated about her killing herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref><br />
<br />
===PSN Hacking===<br />
[[File:RIPClyde.jpg|thumb|left|140px|''"I don't have the time or the luxury to cry and mourn... either way, I have to [[Chris's room|go upstairs]] and troll '''CHRIS'''...!"'']]<br />
On 22 [[May 2009]], Clyde faked his death by self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. This was later reported by [[The Miscreants]].<ref name = obituary/> After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance a week later. Chris wasn't very pleased, as he had discovered that Clyde had made two purchases totalling at $15.98 after hacking into his PSN account. <ref name = vivg>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#29 May]]</ref> Chris attempted to contact [[Vivian Gee]] in order for her to pay back these transactions, but she claimed that she couldn't afford it.<ref name = vivg/> Ironically, a [[Jack Thaddeus|new foe]] would outperform Clyde in hacking into the account. By this point, Clyde was relatively dormant, and less active with Chris, only popping up occasionally. Despite this, Chris continually challenged Clyde to face him, and often blamed him for many of the misfortunes that followed.<br />
<br />
=== The Return ===<br />
<br />
In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in a one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and health|bulging muscles]].<br />
<br />
However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref name = negotiate>[[Mailbag 5#In which Chris assumes Clyde Cash would punch him|Mailbag 5]]</ref><br />
<br />
Despite Clyde's inactivity, he remained a common scapegoat of Chris's. For example, Chris directed blame at Clyde in December of that year when he discovered an interactive billboard that used a photoshopped image of him at a gay bar.<ref>[[20 December 2009]]</ref> Chris however later outed [[Thorg]] for this endeavor during the [[Calling Out]] saga.<ref>[[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]</ref><br />
<br />
Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[pocket knife|knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].<br />
<br />
In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Chris unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Chris fights back==<br />
<br />
At this point Clyde had raped PandaHalo, threatened many of his other gal-pals, and and been a general nuisance to Chris; Chris tried to fight back against Clyde every time Clyde intruded into his life.<br />
<br />
===Threatening Violence===<br />
[[File:Tard Rage.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris preparing for a throttling toward Clyde.]]<br />
[[File:ClydeChoke.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris strangling that Clyde Cash!]]<br />
{{quote|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH GON' SSSSSTRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I will PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!|Chris [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|threatening]] Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Clown_Doll_2.jpg|thumb|A makeshift voodoo doll made by Chris out of the clown doll.]]<br />
<br />
Like many trolls that Chris perceived as his enemy, Clyde was the subject of many threats of violence and [[death threats]] from Chris. Though, in comparison to how he's responded to other trolls, Chris appeared to be far more vitriolic towards Clyde; Chris was explicit about his desire to murder the troll. Chris stated a desire to do such things as strangle him, "punch his lights out", or "shove his ass down his throat" to "make him eat his underwear". Thankfully, Chris's threats to carry out these heinous acts never escalated to actual attempts.<br />
<br />
Chris made use of an old [[Clown Doll]], treating it as an object to release his anger towards Clyde on. Chris filmed himself beating up the doll repeatedly, occasionally putting what he presumed to be Clyde's face over it. He attempted to tear up the doll repeatedly, but only managed to tear off its hat with his teeth. <ref>[[Sign Destruction Video]]</ref><br />
<br />
Upon Clyde's return, Chris declared that he would one day confront Clyde in a fight.<ref>[[Challenge for Clyde]]</ref> Chris also tried to make Clyde appear weak in comparison to himself in several videos; in one instance claiming that [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]. Chris called Clyde out about the rape of PandaHalo a year after the fact in a [[Don't Mess With Me|YouTube video]] when he came to believe that Clyde was responsible for the [[Wallflower]] leaving him. In that video, Chris pretended to beat up, choke, and then slit the throat of Clyde directly after he insulted him.<br />
<br />
===Attempted Doxing and Blackmailing===<br />
<br />
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|right|SPOILER: It's not really Clyde.]]<br />
<br />
Throughout their encounters, aside from threatening physical violence on him, Chris also attempted to fight Clyde by threatening that he would uncover his true identity, blackmail him, and report him to authorities, a tactic which he had attempted several times after Clyde's return. <br />
<br />
In the video "[[Secret Weapon]]", Chris claimed to have aqcuired the mugshot of Clyde, which is actually a photograph of [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/lee-hotti-and-friends Lee Hotti] given to him by the troll [[lordsillynipples]]. Chris used the photo to reperesent Clyde in various videos where he threatens beating him up, typically placing it over the aforementioned clown doll, the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|first instance of which]] he actually uploaded a few hours before he declared unveiling Clyde's identiy.<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref> A former troll-turned-white-knight informed him a month later that the picture he was given was not that of Clyde.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#17 April 2009 — Harbal]]</ref> Despite it not actually being Clyde, the picture was circulated ironically, treating it as the true picture of Clyde, and the image soon became a primary representation associated with the troll. <br />
<br />
In another video, Chris once again claimed that he was able to figure out Clyde's true identity. In the video, Chris claimed that Clyde is actually a little kid who attends an elementary school in Frankfurt, Kentucky.<ref>[[Clyde Cash the kid video]]</ref> Despite this, Chris still threatened Clyde by telling others to report him to the Frankfurt police. Chris previously claimed that Clyde was actually a minor in other videos, including one where he mocked Clyde by singing over the Coolio and Kylian Mash song <i>Gangsta's Paradise</i>.<ref name = trollsta/><br />
<br />
Sometime before 25 [[October 2009]],<ref>[[Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009]]</ref> Chris obtained an alleged photo of Clyde Cash straddling a man in a Spider-Man costume. In several videos, Chris hinted at possessing the photo to intimidate Clyde by using a cropped version of the image to represent Clyde. Chris threatened to blackmail Clyde by releasing the full image, uncovering it bit by bit, unless he left him alone, and he reveals his true identity by a deadline,<ref name = clydegreg>[[To Clyde Gregg]]</ref> while also referring to the costumed man as the "itsy-bitsy spider".<ref name = clydegreg/><ref>[[Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009]]</ref> In on particular video trolls persuaded him to make,<ref>{{cite farms|title=Idea Guy / Joshua Wise (Manipulating the intellecutally disabled for fun) Megathread|thread=31141|post=2831215}}</ref> Chris attempted to humiliate both Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]], calling both of them weak by having this image [[Twin Falling Towers|take the place of the Twin Towers]]. Clyde did not stop, but Chris never returned the favor.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Negotiation===<br />
<br />
Chris has stated in a few instances that he was willing to sit down and talk with Clyde cooperatively, but only if he chooses to stop harassing him, and declares Sonichu as his own work.<br />
<br />
{{quote|I would say the parts where I communicate with him; similar to a father-and-son conversation. You may, As Long As you make the written reference to me as Sonichu's original creator with a statement like, "Sonichu and all related material was originally created by Christian Weston Chandler." I would maintain a pleasant conversation, with hopes of it not turning into an abusive conflict; I would not hit back unless he hit me first.|<ref name = negotiate/>}}<br />
<br />
===Calling Out and Insults===<br />
{{quote|Hey, at least my head's not fucking orange. Like a certain...cashy type person I know.|Chris randomly calling out Clyde Cash in a video where he mimes making spaghetti.<ref name = "spaghetti">[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref>}}<br />
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris also called Clyde out on the various trolling plans that he had for him. <br />
<br />
In other instances, Chris resorted to insulting his enemy by mocking his apperance. One example of this is in a video where he paints his face orage, attempts to copy Clyde's stylistic hairstyle, and his mannerisms.<ref>[[100 2267]]</ref> In that video he called Clyde out all of the harm he has done on him, including the rape of [[PandaHalo]], and the supposed spreading of rumors to defame Chris. Another example is in a video where Chris is asked by [[Jackie]] to cook spaghetti in a video. Towards the end of the video, he clearly has made microwaved spaghetti and meatballs, which he then proceeds to stick his face into, giving his face an orange-ish color. Chris remarks on this by mocking Clyde's apperance, saying how his face isn't "fuck'n orange".<ref name = "spaghetti"/><br />
<br />
==In the comic==<br />
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|200px|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]<br />
Despite his prominence as the leader of the trolls and being the frequent object of Chris's scorn in his videos, Clyde's overall presence in the winding narrative of the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] is surprisingly smaller than one might think. In the context of the story, Cly(de) is just another villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Given that his first appearance in a music video was illustrated well before [[Secret Weapon|Chris discovered the photograph of Lee Hotti that he mistook for Clyde Cash's true appearance]], Cly is portrayed as a bald, red-eyed baddie with no beard and fair skin instead of a freckled, tanned dudebro with spiky hair, a headband, and a very thin beard across his chin. He also has a fabulous purple cape and a dapper suit underneath, rather than typical Guido attire. Cly also has a jetpack, which he uses to regain his bearings after being hit with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Strangely, Chris did not update the character's design in his few subsequent appearances after he discovered the "truth" of the master troll's appearance, or much later, when he drew a commission of himself making peace with the troll.<br />
<br />
Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a slander ray and a pickle gun (which allows him to technically represent [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]). He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing an innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for [[Nazis|Adolf Hitler]]. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths. Judging by Chris's commission, however, the death did not stick, although Cly no longer serves as an antagonistic force in the winding narrative.<br />
<br />
==Retirement==<br />
[[File:Commissions H.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Peace in our time.]]<br />
<br />
The last time Clyde interacted with Chris was during Chris's campaign for [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]], where Clyde donated $10 dollars and shockingly commended Chris for doing something selfless for once. Notably, the comment on the Alex's Lemonade Stand page was the only time that Clyde interacted with Chris after the death of [[Bob Chandler|his father]], as he and several other Miscreants had agreed to leave Chris alone when they decided that Chris had suffered enough, and that trolling him wasn't fun anymore. At some point after this, Clyde Cash felt that his brother Ryan had been sufficiently avenged, so he retired and moved back to New Jersey where he, his wife Sarah, and their daughter Penny could watch the sun rise over a grateful universe. He has not been seen on the internet, or at least Chris's corner of it, since then.<br />
<br />
Chris, surprisingly, has forgiven Clyde for what he has done, or at least he's stopped caring. In 2014, Chris drew art of him and Clyde making peace as part of a [[Commissions|commission]], albeit with both parties doing so somewhat begrudgingly. Notably, Chris completely screws up Clyde's height, making him appear to be much shorter than he was in the pages of the comic.<br />
<br />
In the September 2020 [[Discord Q&A 4]], Chris said that of all the trolls, the one he would want to meet the most is the person behind Clyde Cash (and, by extension, Vivian Gee, Mao, Gregg Mays, and Shigeru Miyamoto).<ref>[[Discord Q&A 4#Which troll would you meet?]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Other Aliases==<br />
{{Incomplete|Information on Nintendo Staff and Mao}}<br />
<!---Editor's Note: This section is primarily meant to provide background for other conflicts involving Clyde, as many of them involved the following personas. As the article is primarily about the Clyde character, the other personas should not get more than a paragraph or two on this article.---><br />
The original troll behind the Clyde persona had also created a number of other alieses, all of which were intended for entirely different trolling plans involving Chris. Many of the conflicts that involved Clyde also involved these other personas. <br />
<br />
===Vivian Gee===<br />
{{Main|Vivian Gee}}<br />
<br />
'''Vivian Gee''', a cousin of Clyde was the first of several personas created by the troll behind Clyde,<ref>{{cite farms|thread=1094|post=71718|title=Clyde Cash}}</ref><ref name = sonichugirls/><ref group = note>When Clyde had revealed that he had created Sonichu Girls, he used his "vivitheg" screen name, while also calling himself Clyde.</ref> even predating the Clyde persona itself.<ref>{{Cite farms|thread=1758|post=109338|title=Did Chris think Surfshack Tito was real?}}</ref> Vivian's earliest known interaction with Chris was on 4 November 2007, in which she e-mailed him, claiming to be the original creator of Sonichu.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008]]</ref> Following from that, Vivian tried to "help" Chris, suggesting that he destroy his [[medallion]]. <br />
<br />
Vivian had also created the Sonichu Audiobooks, and other pieces of media that reference Chris. Continuing on her endevor to "help" Chris, she wrote a novel for a contest which revolved around Chris ruling world, hoping that this would help him see the error of his ways. After Clyde's alleged death, Vivian took his place as the leader of the Miscreants. When the Clyde persona left in 2011, the Vivian persona left along with it.<br />
<br />
Vivian was also the subject of death threats as extreme as the ones Chris issued to Clyde.<br />
<br />
===Bryan Bash===<br />
{{Main|Bryan Bash}}<br />
<br />
'''Bryan Bash''' was a good friend of Clyde's and was an agent of the Miscreants. He sent several hookers following a date with Emily gone wrong, part of an attempt from Clyde to help Chris. Bryan also provided leaks of calls, videos, chats, and drawings that Chris had made to the Miscreants.<br />
<br />
===Gregg Mays===<br />
{{See also|Gregg Mays E-mails}}<br />
<br />
"'''Gregg Mays'''" was originally intended to be the name of a person entirely different from Clyde, a web designer working for Nintendo.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails]]</ref> The Gregg Mays character was part of a plan to hack into [[sonichu.net]], having promised Chris that the website would be redesigned to promote Sonichu for [[Animal Crossing]]. Gregg asked Chris for both his username and password for his Tripod account in order to adapt a new "system" for the website, which Chris promptly gave him. Gregg then hacked into the website. Gregg then told Chris to make a video to proclaim that he was straight in exchange for regaining control of the website.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails#It is I, Jason Kendrick Howell! If you ever want to see your beloved site restored, you must meet my demands. — January 12, 2009]]</ref><br />
<br />
Even after Clyde spelled it out to Chris that "Gregg" was an alias of his, and that he was not [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], Chris still believed it was Jason who hacked into the website. He sent a [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|message]] to Clyde while thinking he was Jason, wishing him harm.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails#January 17, 2009]]</ref> Chris also came to believe "Gregg Mays" to be the actual name of the troll who played the Clyde persona.<ref>[[10242009]]</ref> Ironically, despite realizing that Gregg was a troll persona, he was still under the belief that he was actually being contacted by Nintendo staff.<br />
<br />
===Other Nintendo Staff===<br />
<br />
{{Main|Shigeru Miyamoto|Reggie Fils-Aimé|Takashi Tezuka|Jay Z}}<br />
<br />
The troll behind Clyde also roleplayed as Nintendo staff besides Gregg. These staff members were '''Shigeru Miyamoto''', '''Reggie Fils-Aimé''', '''Takashi Tezuka''', and '''James Zylberstein'''.<br />
<br />
It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. <ref>[[Miyamoto emails#5 January 2009 to 10 January 2009: Chris is Invited to Redmond]]</ref><ref group = note>When Clyde edited the page regarding the e-mails he sent to Chris as Miyamoto, he annotated many parts of the page with red quoteboxes, as several of the e-mails were lost. The edit can be seen [https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Miyamoto_emails&diff=39023&oldid=39022 here].</ref> Shigeru engaged with Chris in [[Miyamoto E-mails|a series of emails]], discussing the possibility of turning Sonichu into a video game franchise for the Nintendo platform.<br />
<br />
===Mao Ling===<br />
<br />
'''Mao "Bamboo" Ling''' was the founder of Asperpedia, as well as one of the Asperpedia Four.<br />
<br />
==Fan art==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:ClydeCashSonichu.jpg|Clyde Cash Sonichu<br />
File:Cash1.png|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!<br />
Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|Clyde's butt being in trouble]], [[Chris-chan Discusses...|courtesy of Chris]].<br />
Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].<br />
Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
{{Fan art}}<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Christian Weston Chandler kills Clyde Cash.<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajX95RLV3cI}}<br />
| stardate = 12 [[October 2009]]<br />
| maker = GUInterface <br />
| subject = Clyde Cash<br />
| type = Edited game cutscene<br />
| info = Clyde Cash's demise.<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Clyde Cash (Amputated Cut)<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|52xWbxgYECI}}<br />
| stardate = 13 July 2021<br />
| maker = Kenny Blades <br />
| subject = Clyde Cash<br />
| type = Rap dedicated to Clyde<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[A CWC Audition]]<br />
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]<br />
*[https://archive.org/details/CWC-emily-date-aftermath Post-date Conversations] – The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.<br />
<br />
{{ClydeCashSaga}}<br />
{{Clyde Saga}}<br />
{{Trolls}}<br />
{{people}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}<br />
[[Category:Trolls]]<br />
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Jail_Saga&diff=288979Jail Saga2022-05-21T00:49:50Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Second Transfer */</p>
<hr />
<div><!--Editor's Note:For the sake of consistency, always refer to Chris's arrest as him being in "jail" instead of "prison"--><br />
:''This article primarily covers what is known regarding the Jail Saga. For answers to frequently asked questions regarding Chris's sentence in jail, go [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jail-state-hospital-court-faq.113466/ here].''<br />
{{Ongoing}}<br />
<br />
[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's mugshot for his [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge, Henrico County Sheriff's Office.<ref name=sun/> Note how Chris almost looks ''content'' after being arrested for incest, compared to [[:File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|his despondent mugshot]] [[26 December 2014|taken the same day that he maced a dude]].]]<br />
<br />
Following allegations in late [[July 2021|July]] and the eventual confirmation that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] had committed [[Affair with Mother|incest with]] [[Barb]], hundreds of people contacted the Greene County police, and authorities conducted a welfare check on the Chandler home, issuing an Emergency Protective Order on [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] the following day (essentially a temporary week-long restraining order). Chris was made temporarily homeless, and stayed at the Regency Inn Richmond for the meantime. Chris was '''arrested on 1 [[August 2021]]''', outside of the Inn. The arrest was captured live on stream by [[Orbiter Wave#Ethan Ralph|several onlookers]]. Surprisingly, given Chris's past history with [[Chris and the law|the law]], he made no attempt to resist arrest, and was cooperative with police.<br />
<br />
Chris is in jail, not prison. Chris will only go to prison if he is convicted of a felony, and he is only facing misdemeanor charges (so far). Since 2 August 2021, Chris has been an inmate at Central Virginia Regional Jail and is awaiting trial for the charge of incest as well as pending charges yet to be identified.<ref name="press release"/> He was arraigned on 5 August 2021 and is being held without bond. Hearings in [[November 2021]] and [[February 2022]] resulted in continuances; his next court date is 28 [[July 2022]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate2>{{Cite farms|thread=112013|title=2/3/22 - Hearing speculation thread}}</ref><br />
<br />
Since his arrest, Chris's only contact to the outside world has been through [[Jail Communications|written correspondence and phone calls]], which began in August 2021 and continued through February 2022. On 28 February 2022, Chris was transferred from the Central Virginia Regional Jail<ref>[[:File:Transfer.jpg]]</ref> to an unknown facility believed to be Western State Hospital, a mental institution. On 3 [[May 2022]], Chris was transferred back to Central Virginia Regional Jail.<ref>[[:File:May3jailconfirmed.PNG]]</ref> The reasons for his return remain to be heard.<br />
<br />
==Background==<br />
{{See also|Affair with Mother}}<br />
<br />
[[File:EscapeIntoMadness.jpg|thumb|right|200px|''Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage: Minds innocent and quiet take That for an hermitage. If I have freedom in my love, And in my soul am free, Angels alone, that soar above, Enjoy such liberty.'']]<br />
<br />
It is a [[Chris and the law|criminal offense]] in Virginia to engage in incest - sexual activities between a parent and a child are a class 5 felony, punishable on indictment by up to 10 years incarceration.<ref name=kvia>[https://kvia.com/news/us-world/2021/08/10/transgender-autistic-internet-personality-chris-chan-held-without-bond-in-mens-jail-on-incest-charge-involving-senile-mom/ Transgender, autistic internet personality Chris Chan held without bond in men's jail on incest charge involving senile mom]</ref> Despite rumors, Chris hasn't been charged for rape, and whether or not Chris's affairs were entirely consensual remains unknown. <br />
<br />
In the early morning of 28 July 2021, Chris discussed having sex with his mother in a call and text messages with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]. On the night of 29 July, the [[Suitress]] leaked the files. The next morning, as reports poured in, Greene County Police visited [[14 Branchland Court]] for a [[Welfare check|wellness check]].<ref name=sun/> They issued Chris an Emergency Protective Order, forbidding contact between him and Barbara, and by extension, preventing him from remaining at her residence until 5 August. Meanwhile, Barbara was relocated to a hospital for a senior care inspection.<ref name=removed>{{Cite farms<br />
| thread = 96559<br />
| title = Chris-Chan incest leak / Chris has been removed from 14 Branchland Court<br />
| wayback = 20211006023749<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
As a result of the protection order levied against Chris, he was without a home for the time being. Due to [[Financhu Crisis|ongoing financial problems]], Chris could not afford a hotel. [[Null]] advised him to sleep in [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|his van]] for one night, noting that Chris would have have the proceeds of Chris's GoFundMe (originally intended for Chris's trip to [[Everfree Northwest]]) transferred to his bank account the following day. Initial plans to stay with [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]] were disrupted after their invitation was rescinded - likely while he was already on the way to their home.<ref name=letter>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>{{refn|<br />
Chris told Null that after spending the night in his car, he would go to a mall as soon as it opened in the morning and loiter there.<ref name=NullTexts/> The two malls he mentioned, [[Leonard Bearstein|Regency Mall]] and Chesterfield Towne Center, are in [[Richmond]].<ref>{{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)}} and {{w|Chesterfield Towne Center}} on Wikipedia</ref> This suggests that [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]], who live in Richmond's southwest suburbs,<ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800|Chris leaks the Ashbys' address to Miyamoto-san]]</ref> did not rescind their invitation until he had actually gotten near their home.}}<br />
<br />
On 30th of July, Everfree Northwest posted that "appropriate action to protect the vulnerable" will be taken; while not naming Chris, it is suspected that that this tweet refers to the revocation of Chris's invitation to the convention,<ref>[[:File:EverfreeNorthwestBansChris.jpg|Everfree Northwest tweet]]</ref> which Null subsequently confirmed. Due to the disturbing and lurid nature of the allegations, hashtags and topics such as #ChrisChan and #CHRISCHANDIDWHAT trended on Twitter, reaching 4th overall trend on July 30th,<ref>[https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-chris-chan-sonichu-comic-creator-leaves-twitter-scandalized-latest-trend Who is Chris Chan? Sonichu comic creator leaves Twitter scandalized with latest trend]</ref> exposing a large number of otherwise uninvolved individuals to the story of Chris-Chan causing the [[Orbiter Wave]].<br />
<br />
On 31 July, Null, who had access to Chris's email (with Chris's permission) since the [[Guard Dogs]] Saga,<ref name="marvinqna">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-chris-chan-extortionists.45366/post-3553571 Marvin answers questions regarding OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/operation-kingsnake.44345/ OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref> found that Chris had received $750.00 from Barb's bank account, meaning he had either contacted Barb or gained access to Barb's bank account himself, either of which would violate the emergency protection order. When confronted, Chris initially denied the accusation, claiming he had "managed to find blessings in the minimum abundance needed." However, upon further questioning Chris about the money, he confirmed that he had had access to Barb's account for some time, contrary to Null's previous assumption that Barb had been in control of Chris's finances and not vice versa. Upset by Chris embezzling from his mother and lying to cover it up, Null finally cut all contact with him, reported the theft to authorities, and canceled the transfer of the GoFundMe money, arranging for it to be refunded to the donors.<ref name=NullTexts>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Chris takes money from Barb]]</ref><br />
<br />
==Arrest==<br />
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|Chris, while being arrested.<ref name=video>[[#Video|Video of Chris's arrest filmed by Killstream crew]]</ref>}}<br />
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|left|400px|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."]]<br />
On the evening of 31 July, Reddit user ''[[Chrisisaman]]'' located [[Son-chu]] at the Regency Inn in [[Richmond]], confirming that Chris was in the city and that he would be spending time in a motel.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210801045236/https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ovlys1/location_confirmed_10_minutes_ago/ Archived Reddit post confirming Chris's location]</ref> The next day, [[Post-Merge Era|a number of people]] attempted to observe or contact Chris there. Observers noticed police cars stationed at the motel, but because the place was known to have a seedy reputation, it was not obvious if they were there for Chris or for some other reason. These cop cars eventually left without arresting Chris.<br />
<br />
The most significant of the observers was YouTuber [[Ethan Ralph]] who livestreamed himself and his friends [[Ween|driving to the motel to meet Chris]]. The group [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2|ordered a pizza]] in the hopes of luring him out, but this was unsuccessful - Chris was apparently too busy messaging [[The WCT]].{{refn|The time Ralph was knocking on Chris's door - about 3:01 PM<ref name=snippet/> - is almost exactly the same as the timestamps on Chris's final messages to The WCT - 3:10 PM.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Chris's final messages]]</ref>}} They then went about knocking on every door on the second floor (Chris had previously been filmed walking along the second floor balcony, suggesting that was where he was staying), but this was fruitless as well, and only led to the menagerie being ordered to leave by a [[Jerkop|motel employee]].<ref name=snippet>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-1-21-ethan-ralph-tries-to-drag-chris-chan-to-his-house.96772/post-9596798 Archived stream snippet]</ref><br />
<br />
Not giving up, the group went to the {{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall}} (of [[Christopher's name change#Leonard Bearstein|'the bear']] fame) across the street, following (incorrect) speculation that Chris might be there since he was not in his room. While livestreaming at the mall they had an encounter with a police officer, who would happen to be one of the officers who arrested Chris a few hours later (as Ethan acknowledges during the arrest).<br />
<br />
Later that afternoon, Ralph was tipped off that four Henrico County police cars had shown up at the motel. At around 6:00 PM, he got back just in time to film two officers perp-walking Chris down from his room, streaming the whole debacle for a live audience of over 3,000 viewers. While the police talked to Chris, Ralph sporadically yelled questions and comments, to which Chris occasionally responded. <br />
<br />
Unlike Chris's previous run-ins with the law, he remained mostly calm and compliant during the arrest (possibly due to [[The WCT]] having [[WCT DMs#Discussing the incest fallout|advised him the previous day]] to cooperate with the police during his arrest), though he rambled about the [[Dimensional Merge]] to both the police and Ralph's crew, promising that the Merge was in fact happening right at that moment. The police then loaded Chris into a squad car and left without answering Ralph's questions.<ref name=video/> An additional POV shot filmed by an anonymous onlooker showed Chris climbing directly into the cop car – the last footage of Chris to date.<br />
<br />
===Video===<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Chris-Chan Arrested<br />
| ytid = N1ubqU04XNQ<br />
| style = {{Tragedy|[[Chris and stress|My Baby Blue Arms]]}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|[[Autism|Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down]]}}<br />
| stardate = 1st [[August 2021]]<br />
| saga = {{Incest|text}} {{Post-Merge|text}} {{Prison|text}}<br />
| previous = <br />
| next = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
{{collapsible|state=mw-collapsed|Transcript|<br />
<br />
''[Video begins with a shot of a neighboring car. A woman gets out of it with her phone. The song "Save Your Tears" by the Weeknd plays in background.]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl''': Oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': They're arresting her!<br />
<br />
''[Ralph gets out of the car and walks toward the fence. The woman from earlier is now kneeling with her phone pointing at the motel. Ralph walks past her.]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Sorry.<br />
<br />
''[Camera zooms in on the motel, focusing on the second floor, where the police officers are walking Chris]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, they're arresting Chris-Chan here at the hotel.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' (yelling): (unclear due to chatter) ...For the internet, do not record this!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''' (yelling): Chris-Chan, what's up! Killstream, baby! When you get out, let's do the Killstream! Look me up!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Let the charges drop! It's all about [[Null|Joshua Conner Moon]]!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Tell 'em all about Josh Moon, that's who they want!<br />
<br />
''[Bystanders start yelling]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Give it up, Chris-Chan!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Give him up... save yourself, girl!<br />
<br />
'''Another guy in background''': Magi-Chan will help you!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': You're beautiful!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Look up Ethan Ralph, Killstream! I live here in Richmond, buddy!<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Go to church!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': No, come to... come to the Killstream first!<br />
<br />
''[As the cops walk Chris down the stairs, there is more yelling]''<br />
<br />
'''Person below''': ETHAN I BOUGHT YOUR STICKER!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': YEEEAH! What kind of shit is this? Holy shit! Oh my god, thank you!<br />
<br />
''[The cops are now walking Chris past the motel entrance]''<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Got a (indistinct) here!<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Christian Weston Chandler, right here being...<br />
<br />
''[Camera turns past a nearby building as Ralph runs toward the motel parking lot]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Oh, shit, oh! You better hurry Jesse, you're missing out! [<br />
<br />
''[The camera now zooms in on Chris and three police officers, now standing outside a police car]''<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''':...oh no, (indistinct) transport in the front...<br />
<br />
''[One of the officers says something to Chris that cannot be heard, presumably asking for his name]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': ...Chris-Chan, or Sonichu, as they know...<br />
<br />
''[Camera freezes for a couple seconds]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''':...Chris. (indistinct) Bring 'em...<br />
<br />
''[A fourth officer gets out of one of the police cars]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Hey, officers, how's it going?<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': How you doing? I just saw you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, that's right! That's you, oh my god!<br />
<br />
'''Person in background''': Sorry about that, guys.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I told you!<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I'm going, I'm complying...<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I'm complying, I am good like this!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (To Chris) You are, you absolutely are!<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (To Girl) Yeah, I think so. <br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (To Chris) Yeah, you appear to be complying.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I am Chris-Chan Sonichu, your [[CPU Blue Heart|Goddess Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus and Rosechus]] and everybody. <br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, you're live to about 3,000 people right now, Christian!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': How do you plead?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well don't...you're taking everything in stride, you said you're doing good?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Yeah. I keep a good faith everything is going to work out.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Doing good, feeling good?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Yep.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': How's the last few days been? I know it's been pretty [[Stress|stressful]].<br />
<br />
'''Chris''' : Bit stressful, but... I've taken it one moment at a time and...I've got my...I've got my loves.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well that's good.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Do you, like, Josh Moon, like, did you dirty?<br />
<br />
''[An officer begins frisking Chris, and apparently finds something on his waistband]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (To officer) Oh, well, that's just the one thing, that's a pin. Feel free, just go ahead and take it out, it's a picture of Muffins from ''[[My Little Pony]]''.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Your [[Love Quest]] is over, Chris!<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (To officer) I promise like...I was not (indistinct) to fall... it fell off my bag, I did not want to lose it. And please, I would like that in my collection. (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Hey, Ethan!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': What's up, Jesse?<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': How you doing?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Boy we almost missed it, huh?<br />
<br />
''[Ralph and Jesse laugh]''<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': I was wandering around the mall.<br />
<br />
''[The officer starts searching Chris's left side]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': Well, heh. He's not offering me any options there...<br />
<br />
'''Officer''': I'm just letting you know I'm... (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': I literally ran out to get that (chuckles). This is nuts.<br />
<br />
''[Someone makes a noise in the background]''<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Christine, this man does want to help you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Yeah, we were trying to get you on the show, but...look, when you get out, look me up, Killstream. I don't know if you know who I am or not.<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': We're here to help you!<br />
<br />
''[Indistinct yelling in background]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': We saw what Josh was doing to you, so we wanted to come try to talk to you.<br />
<br />
''[The cop finishes his search]''<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': (To Chris) Do you have anything else on you?<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I have nothing else on me.<br />
<br />
''[The police officer says something to Chris]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': I understand. I have no weed, I have no drugs on (indistinct)... like I said, frisk me, there you go! (chuckles)<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (Chuckles)<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': [[Homos|That felt good]]!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (Laughs loudly)<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': Thank you.<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': Alright, let's have a seat.<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Christine, is the merge coming?<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Aight...<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': It's happening now, we're on the very last thread!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': (talking over Chris) The Merge, it's happening right now, isn't it?<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': It's happening right now, it is.<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': We're living it!<br />
<br />
''[Chris turns to the officers.]''<br />
<br />
'''Chris''': (indistinct) ...Batman into a hero. <br />
<br />
''[Chris sits down as one of the officers points into the back of the police car]''<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': It's happening right now.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Merge the dimensions, Chris!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Farewell, Chris Chan!<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': (indistinct) The Dimensional Merge is happening right now, August 1, 2021.<br />
<br />
''[Chris disappears into the back of the police car]'' <br />
<br />
[''End of relevant footage'']<br />
<!--<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Well there goes Chris Chan into the Henrico County... deputy's car here.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Don't let the boulder(?) hit you!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I don't think they've had an... arrest like this.<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': No, don't think so.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': We just got here, too.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': This is like the first time nobody's filming the police.<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': I know.<br />
<br />
''[Everyone laughs]''<br />
<br />
'''Someone else in background''': ...beginning of an era.<br />
<br />
'''Another person in background''': ...did you bring the wallet?<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Which one of you wanted to ask questions?<br />
<br />
'''Jesse''': Oh I had a chance, but...<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Okay...<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (To officers) Yeah, please do take like good care of her, she is like a good person.<br />
<br />
'''Police officer''': I will. I treat everybody the same, man. Alright, y'all have a good day.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Thank you, officers.<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': Thank you.<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': I appreciate y'all taking enough time for me to get here, too.<br />
<br />
''[Camera turns away from the police cars]''<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': Woww! (breathing heavily) Was that... (camera turns to show Ralph's face) ...was that a scoop or what, ladies and gentlemen? What the, what in the world? Oh as always, falling into my lap here!<br />
<br />
'''Guy in background''': (indistinct) ...tell me I didn't make it happen, I told you it was gonna happen.<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': Dude... (indistinct)<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': He did, he told me. I wasn't going to come out to all this, but...<br />
<br />
'''Girl in background''': I can't believe he stayed over here!<br />
<br />
'''Ralph''': ...we just got the foot- <br />
<br />
''[Video ends]'' --><br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Initial jail stay==<br />
[[File:Henrico County Jail West.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Henrico County Jail West]]<br />
[[File:Central Virginia Regional Jail.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Central Virginia Regional Jail]]<br />
At 8:23 PM later that day, Chris was booked into Henrico County Jail West and held without bail.<ref name=charged/><ref name=sun>{{Cite web<br />
| url = https://www.the-sun.com/news/3394847/chris-chan-sonichu-arrested-incest/<br />
| autoarchive = 20210804202308<br />
| title = Chris Chan arrested for ‘incest’ after claims Sonichu comic book creator sexually assaulted family member<br />
| website = The Sun<br />
}}</ref> On 2 August 2021, the Charlottesville CBS affiliate, CBS 19, reported on the case, following the release of a press release from the Greene County Sheriff's Department indicating that Chris had been moved to [[Chris's homes#Central Virginia Regional Jail|Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which serves several rural counties including Greene County.<ref name="press release">Press release on [https://www.cbs19news.com/story/44432363/suspect-arrested-in-sex-crimes-against-family-member-case CBS], [https://www.facebook.com/269663503100241/photos/a.398555170211073/4389133984486485/?type=3 Facebook]</ref><br />
<br />
Calls to the Sheriff's Office confirmed that Chris was being held on a charge of incest. Notably, the charge against Chris is listed on the Henrico Sheriff's Office website as "incest with own child or grandchild",<ref name=charged>[[:File:Charged.png]]</ref> presumably because "incest with own parent" charges are too uncommon to warrant an option for them in the software.<ref>{{Cite farms<br />
|thread = 96776<br />
|post = 9613612<br />
|title = Chris - The Legal Issues - A Prosecutor's Perspective<br />
|user = TherapyMan<br />
|wayback = 20210804182815<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
The record for Chris's custody status initially labelled him as female<ref>[[:File:Chris custody status female gender.png]]</ref> due to him having legally changed the gender marker on his driver's license in 2016.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> It was claimed by sensationalist media that Chris would be housed in a female jail,<ref>https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9859653/Trans-YouTuber-Chris-Chan-39-filed-female-police-housed-women-inmates.html</ref><ref name=tucker>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9PW_XVGWHw Tucker Carlson discusses Chris-Chan]</ref> though this was not confirmed by official sources. The custody status record was updated to list Chris as male without explanation and he was placed in a corresponding facility.<ref name=InsiderGender>[https://www.insider.com/chris-chan-arrest-jail-transgender-trans-woman-men-male-incest-2021-8 After her arrest on an incest charge, Chris Chan is being categorized as male in jail despite being a trans woman]</ref> It is noted that transgender inmates in Virginia are usually only placed in the prison of their identified gender if they have received sex-change surgery,<ref>[https://richmond.com/news/virginia/transgender-prison-inmates-5-to-6-times-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-sexual-assault/article_79c231fd-4d27-5a38-bc48-500301794348.html Transgender prison inmates 5 to 6 times more likely to be victims of sexual assault in U.S., study says]</ref> which Chris has not. On 7 August 2021, conservative media host {{w|Tucker Carlson}} briefly talked about the discourse in a [[wikipedia:Fox News|Fox News]] segment, exposing millions of retired, right-wing boomers to Chris for the first time.<ref name=tucker></ref><br />
<br />
Many observers predicted Chris would not take to an extended jail stay well. However, on August 5, the jail's Captain Hoffman told news, "I've had an interaction with inmate Chandler and it's been fine. Everything is okay."<ref name=InsiderGender/> This surprising revelation could be explained by a [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|letter]] Chris sent from jail in early November, which strongly implies that he has been placed in some form of protective custody to ensure his safety. A [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|previous letter]] he sent in early October confirms that he is being fed well and that he has been able to purchase minor luxuries from the jail's commissary including playing cards, earplugs and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]].<br />
<br />
==Legal proceedings and communications==<br />
The case is being handled by the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court.<ref name=ContinuanceDate>{{Cite farms|thread=105669|title=11/18/2021 - Court case continued into the new year}}</ref> Due to the sensitive nature of the court's cases, it is unknown what details will be publicly available.<br />
<br />
=== First court appearance ===<br />
[[File:HeilbergPortraitNew.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Chris's long-suffering lawyer, David Heilberg.]]<br />
On 5 August 2021, Chris appeared before the court for the beginning of his arraignment, represented by Charlottesville public defender David Heilberg.<ref name=initial_trial/><br />
<br />
The attorney representing [[Greene County]] asked presiding judge David M. Barredo to deny Chris bond out of concern for "the community's safety and Ms. Chandler's safety." Chris reportedly interrupted the proceedings multiple times. He was chided by his attorney for shouting "[[Chris and his ego|I'm famous on the internet]]." He was sworn in to state his case for bond, but wasted his opportunity to speak by demanding to be allowed to pick up personal possessions first.<ref name=initial_trial>[https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html Internet personality "Chris-Chan" in court on incest charge] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210805180746/https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html (archive)]</ref><br />
<br />
Judge Barredo ordered Chris to be held without bond until the preliminary trial on 16 September, believing Chris posed a danger to both [[Barbara Chandler|society]] and himself. While Heilberg was informing the judge that he sought "[[Autism papers|evaluations]]" of Chris, Chris ''interrupted his own attorney'' by loudly stomping on the floor and demanding "[[List of toys|to get everything back home,]]” claiming "I won’t feel safe proceeding" until he could get the items back.<ref name=initial_trial/><br />
<br />
Judging by Chris's behavior, it can be inferred that Chris either did not fully understand or [[Chris and remorse|care about]] the seriousness of his charges and the possible [[Chris and negotiation|consequences]], or that he still expected to be saved by the [[Dimensional Merge]].<br />
<br />
=== Continuance and first letter from jail ===<br />
{{Main|Jail Letter - 19 September 2021}}<br />
[[File:Nullletter1.jpg|thumb|200px|The first page of Chris's letter.]]<br />
Chris's next court appearance was to begin 16 [[September 2021]],<ref name=initial_trial/> but got a continuance before the hearing was even set to commence{{refn|The hearing was scheduled for 10:00 AM;<ref name=initial_trial/> news of the continuance broke at 8:31 AM.<ref name=time>{{Cite farms<br />
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315<br />
| post = 9988888<br />
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance<br />
| autoarchive = 20211022184458<br />
}}</ref>}} due to the defense requesting more time to evaluate Chris's [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]], giving him a brief respite.<ref name=ContinuanceReason>{{Cite farms<br />
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315<br />
| post = 9990379<br />
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance<br />
| autoarchive = 20211022184106<br />
}}</ref><br />
<br />
However, Chris, as always, managed to screw himself over where others failed. Three days later, Chris penned [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|a bizarre letter]] directed to [[Null]] and defense lawyer David Heilberg, in which he defended [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]], ranted at Null for turning his back on Chris, and claimed to be [[Jesus Christ]] reincarnated, among other equally batshit statements.<ref name=letter/><br />
<br />
Chris evidently [[Honest content|never listened when he was given the right to remain silent]]. Before this point, while the prosecution had [[Incest Call|audio]] and screenshotted DMs of him confessing to the act, information collected from internet forums or leaked text messages can be unreliable in court.<ref>[https://www.mccarthyfingar.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/20120526100635-bar-journal-25-34.pdf A Primer and Problems in Admitting Electronic Records in Evidence at Trial and in Support of Motions for Summary Judgment]</ref> Chris's lawyer could have made the argument that he was coerced into saying those things ([[Chris apologizes to Gwen|which has happened before]]), or even argued that Chris's accounts were taken over by trolls, [[PS3|as they often are]]. These things could have gotten a potential jury to view Chris in a more favourable light and could also have secured Chris a lighter sentence, or even an innocent verdict if he could convince the court that he had [[Reality| simply imagined the whole thing.]]<br />
<br />
With this open letter, however, Chris has shot both himself and his attorney in the foot. Any plans by Heilberg to make the trial an issue of mental health{{refn|After Chris's first court showing, Heilberg framed the case in these terms, telling media sources that his client was "legally disabled with mental health issues," and called Chris's online antics "a product of mental health issues causing misguided attention seeking and often provocative engagement with others."<ref name=MentalHealth>{{Cite web<br />
| url = https://www.newsweek.com/chris-chans-lawyer-says-mental-health-issues-contributed-incest-charge-1617388<br />
| title = Chris Chan's Lawyer Says 'Mental Health Issues' Contributed to Incest Charge<br />
| last = Beresford<br />
| first = Jack<br />
| website = Newsweek<br />
}}</ref>}} are going to be much more difficult now. In order for the insanity defense to be utilized, Heilberg would have had to make a convincing argument that Chris did not possess the criminal intent required for legal guilt due to his mental illness worsened by years of trolling clouding his judgement.<ref>[https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/insanity-plea Legal requirements for an Insanity Defense]</ref> Already difficult to pull off, Chris had gone ahead and made it near impossible by BOTH admitting to the crime and demonstrating that he was cognizant of his actions in writing.<br />
<br />
=== More communications from jail ===<br />
{{See also|Jail Communications}}<br />
In [[:Category:Jail Letters|additional correspondences from jail]], Chris provides brief updates on his current experiences and conditions in jail. He would also continue to double down on [[Chris and reality|his delusions]], threaten the weens to not steal things from his house, beg for money for both himself and Barbara, and demand his release from jail. In [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|one of these letters]] Chris rejects a fan's attempt to convert him to Islam. As with his previous replies, he draws comparisons between himself and Allah, and rants more about the [[Dimensional Merge]].<br />
<br />
Chris has also called several people while in jail using the inmate telephone service, although, what Chris says in these calls is not much different from what can be found inside the letters. However, [[Jail Call - 11 January 2022|in one of the calls]], Chris states that he has attempted to call Barbara multiple times, only to receive no answer from her.<br />
<br />
=== Second court appearance ===<br />
<br />
Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18th of [[November 2021|November]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Several fans attempted to attend this hearing, but were turned away by courthouse staff,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/qwr53j/tried_going_to_the_hearing_but_was_turned_away_by/</ref> as the hearing was closed at the request of Chris's lawyer.<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref><br />
<br />
Another continuance was granted, with the next hearing taking place after the new year, on 3 [[February 2022]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Chris spent the Thanksgiving, [[Christmas]], and New Years holidays behind bars.<br />
<br />
=== Third court appearance ===<br />
The February 3 hearing was also closed to the public and resulted in another continuance. As a result, Chris spent his 40th [[Christian Love Day|birthday]] incarcerated and missed out on [[BABSCon]] in April. His next court date is scheduled for 28 [[July 2022]], four days short of the one-year anniversary of his arrest.<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11138163}}</ref><br />
<br />
=== Transfer ===<br />
{{Apocrypha}}<br />
[[File:Transfer.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Email from VINE confirming the transfer.]]<br />
<br />
On 28 February 2022, the Virginia VINE Service confirmed that Chris had been transferred to another location from Central Virginia Regional Jail.<ref>[https://vinelink.vineapps.com/person-detail/offender/17312020;tabIndexToSelect=0 VINELink page]</ref><ref>{{Cite farms<br />
|thread = 113715<br />
|post = 11292959<br />
|title = Chris transferred to another facility<br />
|user = Turbocuck<br />
|wayback = 20220302065944<br />
}}</ref> Details regarding the circumstances that led to this, or where he was transferred to are not known, but it's likely that Chris was sent to some form of hospital.<ref group = "note">VINELink could not track Chris in the period of his transfer, so wherever he was placed is not a jail. The courts are required by law to say if Chris was transferred to a prison. The transfer status would be "Released" if Chris was sent back to his house. When called, CVRJ says the information is "Privileged" which usually means medical.</ref> This could be due to a competency evaluation following his third hearing, or as a consequence of [[Chris and anger|a violent outburst or other such altercation]] with staff or inmates. While less likely, it is also very possible Chris was transferred to receive medical attention for a physical ailment, given [[Chris and health|his lifetime of poor diet, fitness, and hygiene choices]] combined with the [[Stress|stress]] of being incarcerated for seven months, primarily in complete isolation.<br />
<br />
Someone claiming to work for an EMS later private messaged the CWCki Jerkop [[User:Larry the Larryhog|Larry the Larryhog]] about Chris's record.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-31#post-11335917 Kiwi Farms post regarding Chris's record]</ref> They claimed that Chris was transferred via ambulance with a law enforcement escort and that Chris was able to receive narcotic sedative when needed (though the claims are yet to be verified). A Kiwi Farms member claimed that Chris may have been brought to Western State Hospital,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-15#post-11307353 Kiwi Farms post claiming that Chris was transferred to the Western State Hospital]</ref> which specializes in mental disorders, also an unverified claim.<br />
<br />
=== Second Transfer ===<br />
[[File:May3jailconfirmed.PNG|thumb|200px]]<br />
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's third mugshot. The shit eating grin on his face has faded away. It's hard to tell whether what he's done has dawned upon him or if he's just upset he hasn't eaten a Big Mac in months.]]<br />
Chris was seemingly transferred back to the Central Virginia Regional Jail on 3 May 2022. A mugshot that was taken after the transfer, the first photo of him since [[August 2021]], shows Chris noticeably thinner, with longer hair, more sunken-in eyes, and looking much more gaunt and less enthusiastic than he did previously.<br />
<br />
=== Looking forward ===<br />
[[File:Inmate No Longer Here.jpg|thumb|left|A letter to Chris's jail being rejected due to him being transferred.]]<br />
<br />
Exactly what is next for Chris will be heavily influenced by the outcome of the legal processes involved. The maximum jail sentence for a misdemeanor incest charge in Virginia is one year, meaning that if Chris's charges are not upgraded to felony status he should be released no later than 1 [[August 2022]], even if the case is for some reason continued beyond that date. If his charges are upgraded to a felony, he could be facing a [[Kick the autistic|much longer sentence]] (the maximum sentence for felony incest is 10 years, and the maximum sentence for rape is life), in addition to being placed on the [[List_of_places_that_have_banned_Chris#Looking_ahead|sex offender registry]] for a minimum of fifteen years when, or by the looks of things, ''if'' he gets out. In addition, if Chris is charged with a felony, his subsequent legal proceedings must be open to the public, no doubt much to the delight of [[weens]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]].<br />
<br />
Many observers suspect that Chris' lawyer is trying to get him to take up a plea deal with a year of time served, although Chris himself seems convinced [[Chris and his ego|that he will be found not guilty]], [[Honor Roll|despite effectively confessing to the act of incest multiple times]] in both [[Incest Call|the infamous phone call]] and multiple times since his arrest via [[Jail Communications|his written communications]]. As it stands, pleading "not guilty" will most likely result in Chris getting a harsher sentence in the event of a conviction.<br />
<br />
If Barb consented (which would be consistent with [[Barbara_Chandler#Spooning|Barb's long-known uncomfortably touchy-feely behavior around Chris]]), she could be charged as a willing accomplice. However, if she did not (highly speculated to be the case due to her old age), Chris could be facing a potential Rape charge, which will almost certainly net him a possible life sentence. Whether or not he will be allowed to take up parole will be up to the State of Virginia to decide, given the severity of such charges.<br />
<br />
If Chris is deemed too incompetent to stand trial, as many suspect he has been after his third hearing in February 2022, he may be taken back to the mental hospital he stayed at previously and be held there against his will as long as he is still considered incompetent, even if he is not convicted of anything. He may still be able to take up a plea deal in Summer 2022 if his mental state improves, but with [[Chris and reality|Chris's perception of reality long since having crashed and burned]], and it being presently unclear if he can overcome his severe delusions, it remains to be seen if he will spend the rest of his days either behind bars or in the care of medical professionals.<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Sonichu Saves Chris Chan from Prison to Fight Clyde Cash & Liquid Chris!<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-BCDY1xWcUM}}<br />
| stardate = 11 [[September 2021]]<br />
| maker = sheWIND<br />
| subject = Chris in jail<br />
| type = Animation<br />
| info = "Christine Weston Chandler, aka Chris Chan, mayor of Cwcville, is rescued by the demential merge after going to jail for hurting Barb by Sonichu to have a final battle against some of his strongest trolls, Clyde Cash and Liquid Chris!!"<br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = chris chan in prison<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Yq3D_ohKXw}}<br />
| stardate = 3 [[January 2022]]<br />
| maker = Antonio Prola<br />
| subject = Chris in jail<br />
| info = "......you know the how expression too many cooks spoil the broth? Well t- this was too many crooks! Too many CROOKS! TOO many CROOKS! And that ED page is one of those crooks. Every page. Every word. On the discussion page. Is a crook."<br />
<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[28 October 2011]]<br />
*[[26 December 2014]]<br />
*[[Post-Merge Era]]<br />
<br />
{{Notes}}<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{IncestSaga}}<br />
{{PrisonSaga}}<br />
{{Law}}</div>Clockwork Hydrahttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler&diff=288816Christian Weston Chandler2022-05-20T02:32:05Z<p>Clockwork Hydra: /* Future */</p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about Chris himself... it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''<br />
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''<br />
{{Transgender|MTF}}<br />
{{Unreliable|type=cred|Chris is a [[List of Chris's lies|habitual liar]].|Chris will often exaggerate things that happened, often to [[Chris and his ego|make himself look better]].|Chris is considerably [[naïve]].|Chris's accounts on how a certain event went down will often vary with each time he recalls it.}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox Person<br />
| title = Christian Weston Chandler<br />
| image = 0773-CWC23.JPG<br />
| size = 350<br />
| name = Christopher Weston Chandler (1982–[[Christopher's name change|1992]]) <br> Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's name change|1992]]–2016) <br> Christine Weston Chandler (2016–present)<br />
| aliases = Chris-Chan<br>Chris Chan<br>CWC<br>[[Bob Chandler|Little C]]<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo]]<br>[[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|RWC]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Father]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Pop]]<br> [[Rosechu (character)|Papa]]<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>[[Liquid Chris|Solid Chris]]<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]]<br>[[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|paintingatree]]<br>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br>[[Night Star]]<br>[[CPU Blue Heart]]<br>[[CWC Psychlight]]<br>[[Kiwi Farms|LegendaryChristorian]]<br>[[CWCki Forums|OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)]]<br>[[Internet Dream Lounge|Natalie Portman]]<br>[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Grandma Christine]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mother]]<br>[[Sonichu (character)|Mama]]<br>[[Spirit possession|Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Jesus Christ]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Camera #000]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|Christine Chan Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Communications|Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu]]<br>[[Jail Letter - 9 December 2021|Jesus Christ Chan]]<br>[[Jail Call - 13 January 2022|Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu]]<br />
| month = 2<br />
| day = 24<br />
|gender = Male (1982–2016)<br>[[Tomgirl]] (2011–2014)<br>[[Transgender|Transwoman]] (2016–present)<br />
| nation = [[United States|American]]<br />
| religion = "[[Chris and religion|Neo Spiritual Christianity]]"<br />
| race = White (1/8<sup>th</sup> "[[Cherokian]]")<br />
|label8 = Height<br />
| ft = 5<br />
| in = 10<br />
| heightsrc = <ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref><br />
|lb = 203 <br />
|weightsrc= <ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref><br />
|father = [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)<br />
|mother = [[Barbara Chandler]] (1941–present)<br />
|siblings = [[Cole Smithey]] (half-brother)<br>[[David Alan Chandler]] (half-brother)<br>[[Carol Chandler]] (half-sister)<br />
|education = [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (AAS, [[CADD]])<br />
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist ([[Lulu|self-published]])<br>Video game designer (unpublished)<br>[[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) <br>[[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]])<br>[[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)<br>Entrepreneur, [[Chris and business|Cwcville Shopping]] ([[2014]]–[[2016]])<br>[[Stephanie Bustcakes|Prostitute]] ([[2016]], unpaid)<br />
|spouse = [[Cryzel Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] (m. March 2018) <br> [[Sylvana]] Rosechu and [[Mewtwo]] (m. June 2018)<ref>[[:File:Miss Cherry asks Chris about his marriages.png]]</ref><br />
|titles = Sonichu Creator<br>Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu<br>[[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]] of the Nations of [[Cwcville]], Comma, and the [[Commodore 64|Commodore Consoles]]<ref>https://archive.fo/v5aVW</ref><br>The Queen of Modern Laughter<ref>[[Internet_Dream_Lounge#Outro_.281:12:27-1:16:25.29]]</ref><br>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|The Real Player One]]<br><br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and his Ego#Paranoia|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], AKA Chris.<ref><br />
[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :(] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Behold, the Mistake of God!|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on Chris.}}<br />
<br />
'''Christine Weston Chandler''', formerly '''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born: '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''; 24 February [[1982]]) is a {{Age|1982|2|24}}-year-old [[Autism|autistic]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|mentally ill]]<ref>Confirmed by placement in the [[Therapeutic Docket]].</ref> [[JERKS|misandrist]], [[Women's rights|misogynist]], former [[virgin with rage]], self-proclaimed [[CPU Blue Heart|deity]], and [[Affair with Mother|accused sex offender]]. He is commonly referred to by his nickname '''Chris-Chan''', by his initials '''CWC''', or simply the gender-neutral '''Chris'''. He looks kind of like a cartoon version of {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} come to life, and is considered to be one of the most well-known and well-documented lolcows in internet culture – if not one of the most well-documented people in history.<br />
<br />
Some would consider Chris to be a celebrity, but he hasn't sold a multiplatinum [[Chris and music|album]], nor has he been awarded with an [[Chris and cinematography|Oscar]]. Instead, he is the [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which ostensibly tells the story of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] and their adventures with the [[Chaotic Combo]]. In practice, the webcomic really serves as wish fulfillment for Chris himself, allowing him to express his dissatisfaction with how [[Mary Lee Walsh|the faculty at school and college]] didn't acknowledge [[Honor roll|what he saw as an exemplary academic performance]] [[Count Graduon|when he graduated]], along with his frustration over [[Love Quest|being unable to find a romantic partner]]; as such, the book let him redirect his [[Chris and anger|anger]] toward [[Jerkop|the people who]] [[Manajerks|would impede him]] on his journey, casting them as villains and himself as [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|a true Campbellian hero]] in his narrative. After completing his education, Chris was unemployed for most of his adult life, making a living off of [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] and [[Patreon|donations]] from his webcomic's [[True and Loyal Fanbase]].<br />
<br />
In late [[2007]], he became [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]-famous when images of him at [[The GAMe PLACe|a tabletop gaming store]] leaked out to the {{w|Something Awful}} message boards. Upon discovery, Chris was mocked for his [[Chris and fashion|odd fashion sense]] and [[Obesity|oafish appearance]], and images of Chris at the store soon spread to places like [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and in the process, many [[trolls]] became exposed to his webcomic for the first time, propelling Chris to stardom. Initial fascination was spurred on by his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]], his signature homemade [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] that he wore in public, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] asking women to talk to him. [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|His reaction to the ensuing mockery]] led to a cycle of [[Honest Content|Chris revealing more disturbing facts about himself]] and [[Chris and manipulation|trolls going to greater and greater lengths to uncover more knowledge about this strange individual]]. Thus, Chris's life began to spiral out of control with the advent of organized trolling, [[Chris and...|armchair psychological analysis]] from bewildered onlookers, and some truly bizarre antics from Chandler that continue to this day, which would influence the development of the webcomic whenever Chris got around to updating it.<br />
<br />
Chris's most notable period of activity on the internet occurred between 2007 and 2010 – a period now dubbed the "Classic Era" by modern Christorians – in which he was repeatedly catfished by trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|romantic interests]], and he lashed out against arch-enemy [[Clyde Cash]], the leader of the most notable group of trolls in his life: [[Trolls#The Miscreants|The Miscreants]]. In this time, [[Julie Reveals Herself|he was duped by]] [[BlueSpike|a sadistic 13-year-old]] [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|into stuffing his medallion up his ass]], [[Liquid Chris|had his identity stolen by a far more talented individual]], [[Asperchu|and had ''Sonichu'' mercilessly spoofed by a webcomic team that specifically designed a story that would piss him off]], among other misadventures. However, he eventually decided to sign off from the internet at the end of this period, seemingly wising up to his dang dirty trolls. When he inevitably returned to the limelight a few months later in 2011, he was not the same. [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris began to experiment with crossdressing, calling himself a "Tomgirl"]], before eventually coming out as [[transgender]] in late 2014.<br />
<br />
From here, Chris's internet life stayed relatively normal (by his standards), despite his shift in gender identity, his father's death, [[28 October 2011|a hit-and-run case]], [[2014 house fire|the accident that caused his house to burn down]], and [[26 December 2014|an incident where he maced an employee at a GameStop store]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of Sonic's arms]]. Things changed when two new sets of trolls – known as the [[Idea Guys]] and the [[Teen Troon Squad]] – [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] him with increasingly-insane beliefs (such as the idea that he and both of his parents are [[Sonichu (species)|half-Sonichu]]), culminating in [[Chris and reality|Chris's revelation]] that he is [[CPU Blue Heart|a goddess]] meant to bring about [[Dimensional Merge|a convergence of dimensions]] that will merge [[Dimensions#C-197|the world shown in his webcomic]] with our world, effectively starting a doomsday cult around what started as a silly, self-indulgent ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'' crossover. Since then, Chris has used [[Messiah complex|this delusion]] as an elaborate [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism while he continues his self-destructive habits.<br />
<br />
In spite of the trolls in question being driven out by the effort of [[Guard Dogs|groups of]] [[Watchmen|counter-trolls]] trying to keep Chris from going further down a self-destructive path, or at least to keep him from embarrassing himself any more, Chris chose to keep clinging to these unhealthy and downright absurd beliefs. All the while, Chris's [[Chris and health|physical]] and [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]] are withering away, and [[Financhu Crisis|money is becoming a serious issue for the Chandler household]], and Chris's mother isn't long for this world, all of which has led Chris to retreat even further into his fantasies. It's gotten to the point where [[Spirit possession|he now pretends to be possessed by various fictional characters]] on a regular basis, with one nearly year-long period of "possession" by Sonichu serving as a way for Chris to cope with the fact that he wasn't able to attend [[BABSCon|two ''My Little Pony'' conventions]] that had been cancelled during the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. The point of no return finally happened in [[2021]] after [[Incest call|a recording]] between Chris and [[Isabella Loretta Janke|a troll posing as a fan]] revealed that [[Affair with Mother|he had several incestuous encounters with his mother]], which has forcibly evicted him from [[14 Branchland Court|his own home]] and sent him to jail, which became his most publicized incident in years. Chris is now looking at prison time, and while Chris awaits a trial, [[Jail Communications|letters from jail]] illustrate that he's gone even deeper into his own fantasies by believing himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus Christ}} reincarnated. Chris was later transferred to what is believed to be Western State Hospital, a mental institution for three months before returning to jail.<br />
<br />
There has never been an internet personality quite like Chris-Chan, thanks to the unique circumstances leading to his prominence online and shaping his peculiar behavior, and there may never be another quite like him – he is truly one of a kind. It is the dedicated mission of [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to chronicle his life in ridiculous detail, and if you want to go down the seemingly bottomless rabbit hole with us, then you should probably start by reading this page. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long ride, and the end is nowhere in sight.<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
{{quote|He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all.|An anonymous [[University of Virginia]] student making an observation about Chris.<ref><br />
[https://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html "glass house"], a post from LiveJournal user thereisbeautyin.</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]<br />
[[File:SympathyForChris.png|thumb|left|An approximate graph which correlates knowledge about Chris to sympathy towards him.]]<br />
<br />
Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified [[Transgender|transwoman]] with delusional tendencies who has been allowed – by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] – to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Even into his forties, Chris remains so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to societal norms. He has regularly demonstrated trouble displaying acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the law|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in any meaningful way. Although the public school system forced Chris to face [[reality]], graduation has allowed him to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities, opting instead to stick to the comfort of living at home and subsisting off of taxpayer dollars. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]] (commissions and multi-level marketing aside), and he hasn't been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. It is likely Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the <s>begging</s> generous donations, and the fact he has flat out said his autism prevents him from getting a job (in spite of there being many social services available to help people with disabilities find work). Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20201210113452/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/page-96#post-1853572</ref>.<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris is completely obsessed with his OC and the associated comic, to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation; the medallion disappeared for a time, but returned in [[September 2010]]. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making ''Sonichu'' games is that they're either tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working for them. For a while, Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for $30 apiece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to Etsy, however, his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.<br />
<br />
Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stared at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; throughout his early Internet history, he appeared to be deeply insecure about his gender and sexuality. Even prior to his gender transition, he has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and only reined in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproved. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgments on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partially [en]courages" and is even aroused by. Over time, Chris dropped his homophobic tendencies, [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|apologized in 2015]] and supports what he calls the [[SLGBTQ]] spectrum. In [[2018]], the [[Idea Guys]] [[brainwashed]] Chris into identifying as bisexual.<br />
<br />
His adult life has been largely defined by his goals of developing ''Sonichu'' into a hit media franchise, his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, his gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman.<br />
<br />
==Aliases==<br />
{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[Chris and religion|God]] [[Christopher's name change|and the bear]] has given me throughout my whole life. The current full name of Christian Weston Chandler, my first name being Christopher and my Spanish nickname being Ricardo. But in the end, just call me the full name, Christian Weston Chandler.|[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Chris making demands of]] [[Liquid Chris|his impostor]], years before legally changing his name to "Christine".}}<br />
<br />
[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Chris's self-portrait, circa 2007. {{w|Ozymandias|"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"}}]]<br />
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|right|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's hand-drawn representation of himself.]]]]<br />
<br />
Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]" that misheard his name, which he interpreted as a sign from God. In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris would often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is [[Chris and his ego|unusually proud]] of his initials "CWC", and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]] and [[CWC Dare]].<br />
<br />
Shortly after declaring himself a [[transgender]] lesbian, Chris started introducing himself as "Christine". In May 2016, he successfully filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref>{{Cite farms|thread=20763|title= Chris filed for a legal name change|autoarchive=20211017191545}}</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> He now signs his name with "heart i's". Legal documents refer to him as Christine Chandler,<ref>[[:File:Trespass case 2018.png]]</ref> except for civil cases, in which he hadn't updated his name change information with plaintiffs.<ref>[[:Image:Court Record - 2019 Midland Funding Debt Case, Garnishment (Chris, GV18000451-01).png]]</ref> [[CWCki|This wiki]], however, refers to him as Chris for consistency.<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwc bronycon 2017 1.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris first went by "Christine" in late 2014 before legally changing his name in 2016.]]<br />
<br />
Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and long after then he would still translate his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't replace your own name with something completely different when speaking in another language. At times he would go so far as to announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to identify himself precisely. In recent times, Chris has forgone stating his middle name, former names, and Spanish nickname in videos; now he usually leads with just "Christine Chandler". (Chris has never come up with a feminine counterpart to his "Ricardo" nickname, or any other Spanish-sounding replacement.)<br />
<br />
Occasionally, Chris would use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. As Chris grew even more unhinged in 2017 and fell under the [[Idea Guys]]'s sway in 2018, he would conflate himself even further with his fantastic inventions to the point where he unofficially added "Sonichu" to the end of his name (although this is not recognized as a legal name change, unlike "Christian" or "Christine" in previous years), to account for his later belief that he is actually half-Sonichu in real life following several rounds of brainwashing. Other modern names for himself include [[CPU Blue Heart]] and [[Night Star]], his self-inserts for the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchises respectively. In contexts when he wants to be especially grandiose, he might append his various fictional alter egos to his name, much as he would list his former names in the past.<br />
<br />
Only a few names commonly used to refer to Chris are not invented by Chris himself. One of the most notable ones is "Chrissy", popularized by [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen Van Dierten]] oddly enough, trying to mockingly feminize Chris's name seemed to predict his eventual interest in crossdressing and later interest in becoming transgender. [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], which was derived from Chris's IBAChandler [[YouTube]] account, was popularized by [[Liquid Chris]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|much to Chris's angst]]. Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent on Earth". Users of [[Kiwi Farms]] have coined the term "Classic Chris" to refer to Chris before the [[Tomgirl Saga]] and/or the [[2014 house fire|house fire]], with "Modern Chris" being used to describe his later antics.<br />
<br />
==Foundational Era==<br />
{{quote|The most important parting words I can leave you with - well, are to always remember this. You show people where your [[Kick the Autistic|weak points]] are located, then [[Trolls|they]] will know how to [[Chris and anger|push your button]]. If you never show them, they will never know.|[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] giving Chris valuable advice that he, unfortunately, did not follow.}}<br />
<br />
Christopher Weston Chandler was born on 24 February 1982 at {{w|Martha Jefferson Hospital}} in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref> His parents, [[Borb|Robert and Barbara]], worked as a engineer at Western Electric (later General Electric) and a office worker at Virginia Power, respectively. Although little is known about Chris's toddler years, the [[Autism papers]] revealed that he was delayed in his language ability, which became his first sign of [[autism]].<br />
<br />
===Childhood and Adolescence===<br />
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]<br />
<br />
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan... in a {{w|Pogs|pog}} form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]<br />
<br />
Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true – the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.<br />
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An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a toy room at an early age after turning all the lights off, an event he described as being intensely traumatic for him.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> (Chris apparently missed the irony of the fact that he regularly locked himself in a room, surrounded by toys, for much of his adult life.) He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism (which is wishful thinking on Chris's part, considering that autism is a genetic condition that isn't triggered by external trauma). Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> However, Chris was able to meet these cognitive milestones in time.<br />
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During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl – if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance). In [[1992]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.<br />
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Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /><br />
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At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to the general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has also led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.<br />
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.<br />
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].<br />
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br><br />
{{collapsible<br />
|More of young Christian<br />
|<gallery><br />
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg<br />
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg<br />
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Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg<br />
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg<br />
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg<br />
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg<br />
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg<br />
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg<br />
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg<br />
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg<br />
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg<br />
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg<br />
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg<br />
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg<br />
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg<br />
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg<br />
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg<br />
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg<br />
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg<br />
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg<br />
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg<br />
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg<br />
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg<br />
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg<br />
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg<br />
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg<br />
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg<br />
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br><br />
[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[Semen|cups]].]]<br />
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[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]<br />
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Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu, the latter of which was created for a class project simply because he couldn't use [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted characters]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20161008083333/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> (The irony that Chris's own solution to that problem was to merge two copyrighted characters into a new character is somehow still lost on him, even to this day.) After inventing his ''magnum opus'' with the character of Sonichu, Chris began to incorporate his [[OCs|original character]] into everything that he could, although his passion for his character wouldn't truly surface until college.<br />
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Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris became despondent and stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" despite his autism, ignoring the likelihood that the artistic achievements of his peers were simply better. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult, a phase of his life that his parents had not properly prepared him for.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.<br />
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Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any other aspect of his life, and has unfortunately even regressed in several key areas as he gets older. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him. [[Chris and nostalgia|Chris still pines for "better days"]] in spite of his current belief system hypothetically leaving him in a better place than he ever was in high school. As you might imagine, this is precisely because things didn't get much better for Chris after finishing school.<br />
<br><br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Chris's award-winning artwork<br />
|<gallery perrow="5"><br />
<br />
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.<br />
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.<br />
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.<br />
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.<br />
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...<br />
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.<br />
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight – look at it and you'll want to vomit.<br />
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br><br />
<br />
===Adult Chronicles===<br />
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref><br />
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.<br />
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Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]]. <br />
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[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]<br />
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After college and completing his education, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. He would not make any serious attempts to seek out a career from graduation onward, in spite of attaining a degree that could probably net him a decent-paying (and relatively undemanding) career that would likely grant him more opportunities than sitting at home playing video games ever could.<br />
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In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her (a habit that got so bad that [[Megan emails, 2005-2006#Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals|Megan later equated it to sexual harassment]]).<br />
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In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.<br />
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It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue, the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures. Little would Chris know, however, that his life was about to permanently change as a result writing and drawing of his magnum opus.<br />
<br />
==Classic Era==<br />
{{main|2007|2008|2009|2010}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want... I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead.|[[Kacey]], accurately predicting how stagnant Chris's life would be after [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|breaking up with him]].}}<br />
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[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]<br />
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Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. He was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed an unrelated conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris. A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref> Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then, and shockingly enough, Chris himself shoulders some of the blame for why that is.<br />
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[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]. He was duped into wearing his mom's underwear by [[Blanca Weiss]].]]<br />
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Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time, giving the trolls justification to continue their war against Chris in the process. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.<br />
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[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]], making [[April 16 Fetish Vids|fetish videos]] for [[Ivy]].]]<br />
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In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would, in turn, encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.<br />
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The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of lulz. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general, opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.<br />
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[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]<br />
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By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals, and that any and all trolls were a vocal minority on his way to fame and fortune. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga. All the while, the editors and administrators working at Encyclopedia Dramatica and the CWCki maintained a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris could not get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.<br />
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Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: that his internet presence and the toxic cycle of exposing something about himself, getting exploited or otherwise made fun of by trolls, and reacting poorly to said trolling was having a detrimental effect upon his mental health and social life, with every new video that he created exasperating the problem. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. For a time, it looked like Chris was learning from his experiences and was making an effort to improve his own lot in life.<br />
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In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. It initially appeared that Chris was making a positive lifestyle change, but alas, it was quickly discovered that his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he announced retirement from social media. Instead of investing his time into more productive activities or improving on his social skills, Chris spent much more time playing video games and otherwise doing what he had been doing when he did engage with trolls. In a predictable fashion, he ultimately forgot anything that he might have learned from his experiences of [[Kick the Autistic|being one of the internet's biggest punching bags]], and he subsequently returned to making new videos starting on [[August 2011]]... Albeit with a pretty big change in how he presented himself online.<br />
<br />
==Transvestite Era==<br />
{{main|2011|2012|2013|2014}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I Seriously Have Been [[Chris and English|PUBLICALY]] INVISIBLE for YEARS! The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids; mentally and emotionally raped me continuously; made the worst imaginable reputation of me on the Internet, AND relayed THAT into OFFLINE LIFE in gossip, rumors, and presidentially grand Fucked-Up Campaigns!!!|[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Chris vents on Facebook]] after years of trolling take their toll.}}<br />
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[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]<br />
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[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2012]].]]<br />
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Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seemed to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia, transphobia, and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and became more extreme in late 2014 and the years that followed. As mentioned previously, Chris would slowly but surely walk back his anti-LGBT stances.<br />
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[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2013]].]]<br />
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In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.<br />
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After Bob's death, Chris generally ceased interacting with trolls, seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to. Instead, Chris lapsed into a deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of the family tragedy, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric man-child that the world had come to know and love. For many, it became apparent that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] were over, and several moved on. The Golden Age of Chris-Chan was over.<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]<br />
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[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2015]], cosplaying as [[Vinyl Scratch]], AKA [[My Little Pony|DJ-PON3]].]]<br />
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Nonetheless, the surviving Chandlers still managed to be drama magnets in their own neighborhood. In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. (Chris had presumed that the store's new management meant that Snyder may no longer work there, thus giving Chris a chance to potentially revisit his old haunt. When this proved to not be the case, the both Chandlers hit Snyder with a car.) The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. Much of the money that Bob left behind was used to pay for legal expenses.<br />
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While awaiting trial, Chris was worried that he may die a virgin if he were to go to prison, and so looked for ways to have at least one sexual encounter before a worst-case scenario could come to pass. [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true... [[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. Chris reneged on the "true love" part of his [[Love Quest]] and skipped straight to the point, which seemed to satisfy him in the short run but otherwise wasn't a life-changing experience for him. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]] and spent less time online than usual.<br />
<br />
[[2013]] saw Chris's online presence more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Walmart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the "stress" taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him – he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.<br />
<br />
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior. <br />
<br />
At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when an extension cord leading from the bathroom to a coffee maker in the hallway – which was placed in such a location due to the nature of Barb's compulsive hoarding habits, and had become frayed due to the constant closing of the door – sparked and [[2014 house fire|set the house on fire]].<ref>[[BraveryJerk Interviews]]</ref> While no human was seriously harmed, one of the [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Some of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Bob's huge record collection.<br />
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Chris and his mother ran into [[Chris and money|acute]] [[Debt|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|difficulties]] as a result of the house fire on top of their existing income issues, and Chris had spent most of the year alternating between begging for money and taking commissions to make more of his artwork on Facebook, and selling autographed photos of himself on eBay ([[Trolls|with it being pretty clear who most of his patrons were]]). Despite the severity of the Chandler family's financial issues, Chris chose to blow literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]] instead of working to resolve his debts. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]], who purchased these items as a means to keep a roof over Chris's head.<br />
<br />
In July, Chris was catfished once more by a new sweetheart named [[Catherine]] after meeting her through [[OKCupid]]. She met up with him in Ruckersville and surreptitiously recorded his conversations. The relationship lasted through the end of the year, and through this process, it was learned that Chris [[Un-clit|pierced his taint]], with other media tied to Chris's life leaking as Catherine and cooperating trolls uncovered more details about his then-current life and mindset.<br />
<br />
[[Transgender|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of pickles in general. Chris also took up swanning around attending LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingled with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before Chris would make a more serious commitment to his lifestyle change when he officially began to transition.<br />
<br />
==Transgender Era==<br />
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{{main|2014|2015|2016|2017}}<br />
<br />
{{Protip|The CWCki has opted to use masculine pronouns to describe Chris, even post-transition, for the purpose of keeping consistent with records from before 2014. Chris is legally registered as female and has taken hormones to transition, but has not had gender reassignment surgery.}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|The future shock... Me? Actually a woman? It is a lot to process. But as I recall my past, I remember in high school, my habits and nature were recognized as most feminine. And in comparing it to my experiences with the masculine, I find I actually don't like such brutish things. And looking deep in my heart and soul, [[Chris and gender|I actually find I feel more woman than the male I was born as.]] And the more I open myself to that [[Chris and English|plausible]]... I truly feel more at peace with myself. [[Chris and his ego|I love me.]] '''[[The Incredible Lioness|I am woman! Roar!]]'''|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's fictionalized counterpart]] explaining his philosophy before becoming [[transgender]] in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris in [[2016]].]]<br />
<br />
In early December 2014, Chris informed those closest to him to start referring him with female pronouns, indicating his desire to go from transvestite to transgender. This era started with a bang when, in December, Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. On top of this, Chris subsequently caused another ruckus at Walmart, just in case you started feeling bad for him after being duped by yet another fake girlfriend. Chris ultimately spent a night in the slammer, and following a lengthy legal process, got off with a $541 fine and a six-month suspended sentence.<br />
<br />
More generally, 2015 saw Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon hedgehog]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He indicated in several Facebook posts that he was still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; for some time, he yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood.<br />
<br />
Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016:<br />
<br />
{| class="wikitable"<br />
|Original <br />
|Sequel<br />
|-<br />
|[[Recycling]]<br />
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]<br />
|[[Lesbian Sex Audition]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[Carlos Chantor]]<br />
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]<br />
|-<br />
|[[Un-clit]]<br />
|[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]<br />
|}<br />
<br />
[[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2017, donning his [[unicorn cosplay]] at [[Cville Pride]].]]<br />
<br />
In addition, Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards of things that they could sell were clearly visible behind them. The [[Business]] saga was suspended when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".<br />
<br />
His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]]. He also made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.<br />
<br />
[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|left|Chris with the Teen Troon Squad in [[2018]].]]<br />
<br />
In [[2017]], the Financhu Crisis continued to stress the Chandlers. Chris offered pieces of his late father's stamp collection, the [[Sonic Totem]] and [[The Classic]] for sale in order to afford more toys, a [[$400 gold necklace]] for Barb, and the extremely costly expenses for his [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle prizes]]. He and Barb also continued begging. One of his friends from [[The End Games]] Pokémon Club grew concerned and gave him solid advice on how to apply for work through Virginia's DARS program – and in true Chris fashion, instead of following it, he went on an angry tirade. Later in the year, he was sued for failure to pay a debt to Mariner Finance.<br />
<br />
Chris rediscovered Twitter in March. His frequent tweets to voice actresses lead to the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] saga – in which he was chastised for calling her [[darling]], but doubled down on it and was subsequently blocked by her – and getting blocked by ''My Little Pony'' VA [[Tabitha St. Germain]] due to her getting constantly tagged by Chris and the [[weens]] orbiting him. He created sockpuppet accounts [[NightStar2891]] to plead his case and [[TwiSparLicious]] to ban-evade, which failed.<br />
<br />
He briefly joined the [[Kiwi Farms]] forum under the name LegendaryChristorian and held a Q&A session.<br />
<br />
A high point for his social life was attending [[BronyCon]], at which he enjoyed attention from [[fans]]. He also attended LGBT events such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] (where he was interviewed on TV), [[Cville Pride]] (where he was photographed by news in crowd shots), and [[Love is Love]].<br />
<br />
Chris resumed the [[Business]] saga halfway through the year by going back to work on the [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] comic he had abandoned in 2015, by placing pages behind [[Patreon]]. He also again offered books for sale, self-published by [[Lulu]], was paid to be interviewed by [[Merryweathery]] and [[CopperCab]], and joined [[Redbubble]]. After eight years, he finally completed #11, and moved onto #12, which he completed after a few months. He began work on [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] and [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]], but got distracted. His Patreon efforts also began to languish around October, when patrons complained that he hadn't been sending out books.<br />
<br />
Another sweetheart saga took place in the fall. [[Jessica Quinn]], a long-time white knight, suddenly turned troll by pretending she had fallen in love with him. She broke up with him twice, the first time he cried on camera for her to take him back, and the final time, [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|he raged on video against the trolls he thought were to blame]]. He recovered quickly after drowning his sorrows at an ice cream shop.<br />
<br />
==Goddess Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2017|2018|2019|2020|2021}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], have tried and kept on and continuing on until that day in the new [[COVID-19|Pandemic-Free]] version of this, the Omega Timeline – 'cause I'm going back in time with this body, after I get back to [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] – finally return this body to mama in the new timeline at [[BABSCon]]. I tell you all, as overpowered a soul I am – in my own body that I was used to and accustomed with and everything – I, Sonichu, am unable to do Mama's job as good as only she, our OG Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, of [[Dimensions#1218|Earths 1218]] and C-197, can do. [[Chris and work|This work]], [[Obesity|her body]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|her brain]], [[Chris and reality|her Goddess-level overpowers and abilities]]; [[PsychicPowers|they're all literally tailored and custom-made only for her]]... [[Messiah complex|All praise, prayers, and power to our Goddess of 1218 and C-197: Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu!]]|Chris, [[Spirit possession|pretending to be Sonichu]], [[Sonichu's Update on the Dimension Merge and Sermon - October, 2020|completely going off of the deep end]] while talking about the [[Dimensional Merge]].}}<br />
<br />
[[File:CWC 11 February 2019.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in 2019 with [[Lego|a custom LEGO minifigure]] representing his [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|godsona]], [[CPU Blue Heart]].]]<br />
<br />
After [[Heart level|having his heart shattered]] yet again, another troll, the [[Idea Guys|Idea Guy]], began to influence Chris by role-playing as his [[imaginary friends]] and convincing him that he was providing information from [[CWCville]]'s dimension, which Chris accepted out of having his fantasy world validated; along the way, another Idea Guy joined with the first. Together, they used their influence over Chris's beliefs to [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwash Chris into believing several things about himself]], such as the idea that he was [[bisexual]] and half-Sonichu, which ultimately culminated in Chris developing a [[Messiah complex]] derived from [[Dimensions|his own delusions about the nature of reality]] and the lore of ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.<br />
<br />
[[File:Praetor5.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2020, moments before [[Sonichu's Update on the Dimension Merge and Sermon - October, 2020|giving a sermon]] of the allegedly imminent [[Dimensional Merge]].]]<br />
<br />
When it was learned that the Idea Guys were extorting Chris, who was already facing financial difficulties, [[Null|Joshua "Null" Moon]] and the [[Guard Dogs]] intervened, exposing the Idea Guys for what they were to Chris. From there, the Guard Dogs were able to force them out from Chris's life over the course of the subsequent months, allowing Chris to unlearn some of the worst behaviors he'd been tricked into practicing. Charges were laid against the Idea Guys, but unfortunately, they never got very far. The Guard Dogs attempted to protect Chris from further bad actors by screening his messages, however, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] managed to evade them by meeting with Chris in person. The Guard Dogs alleged them to have role-played as Chris's imaginary friend [[Magi-Chan]] and Chris's retreated more into his fantasy world while under their enabling influence, although they stopped contacting Chris when they saw what happened to the Idea Guys.<br />
<br />
Chris repeatedly denounced the Idea Guys for financially exploiting him, but the damage was done to his psyche: Chris bought into the fantasy that he was a goddess as a new coping mechanism, and his already-shaky grasp on reality hit rock bottom. Chris's new beliefs led him to seek a hippie makeover befitting of his supposed [[PsychicPowers|psychic prowess]], and he retreated further into his fantasies, generally refusing to engage with people who wouldn't entertain them. Chris eventually turned on Null, thanks to the influence of other trolls – chief among them, [[Jacob Sockness]], who sought to sexually exploit Chris. The Guard Dogs realized that there was nothing that they could do for a Chris who refused to listen, and disbanded, but a new group, known as the [[Watchmen]] (who [[Enablers|enabled some of Chris's fantasies]] out of pragmatism), sought to keep Chris from further embarrassing or endangering himself, successfully getting him away from Sockness before he could do any harm to Chris.<br />
<br />
Throughout all of this, Chris's belief in the Dimensional Merge has not wavered. When it didn't arrive on the prophesized date of {{w|Jonestown|November 18, 2018}}, Chris did what all doomsday cultists and religious fundamentalists did whenever the apocalypse didn't happen: push it back again and again. Not helping matters was the advent of [[COVID-19]], which Chris saw as a sign of the Dimensional Merge's progress alongside all the other insane crap that happened in the year 2020. For Chris, things really took a turn for the worse when [[BABSCon]] got canceled, and he began an elaborate coping scheme to [[Spirit possession|live-action roleplay as Sonichu]] until he could attend ''[[My Little Pony]]'' conventions again, which will not happen until 2022 at the earliest. Chris spent nearly eleven months pretending to be his [[OCs|original character]], with very few interruptions, before eventually reverting to being himself again on 25 February 2021, [[KwaiiSandbag calls|thanks to the intervention of an enabler]], to personally oppose news about the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G5 reboot.<br />
<br />
During this time, Chris's appearance visibly aged significantly, with his hair turning grey. He's also seemingly lost a bit of weight, not due to improving his diet and leading a less sedentary lifestyle, but due to a decline in muscular mass. This is likely a result of the effects of the hormones that he has applied to treat his gender dysphoria, alongside his declining physical health due to his various poor life decisions. In addition to his existing health problems, he's also [[Chris and drugs|taken up drinking to excess and even smoking weed on occasion]], which both do his so-called "overpowered" goddess body absolutely no favors. Compared to [[Megan Schroeder]], who is four years younger than he is and currently looks pretty close to how she did in photographs with Chris about thirteen years ago, Chris now looks like he could now pass for her aunt or uncle. Chris also continued to be influenced by enablers such as [[Larry Vaughn]], [[KwaiiSandbag]], and [[Praetor]], the last of which is a group which seeks to exploit his infamy for sales revenue. The [[Watchmen]], a white knight group which sought to protect Chris from such influences, splintered following internal conflict among its members.<br />
<br />
==Downfall Era==<br />
<br />
{{main|2021|2022|Affair with Mother|Jail Saga}}<br />
{{quote|So there you go, chat: the [[Dimensional Merge]] is happening right fucking now! Chris, our boy Chris, bravo! Bravo, brave young man! I guess you could say, uh, that [[Chris and sex#Incest|he really, really came into his own]]. And in case it's not already fucking obvious, [[Jail Saga|Chris is going to jail]]. So we'll see how that works out. Best of luck Chris! [[It's UGH!|Don't drop the soap]], buddy. The world you lived in was just a fantasyland, but [[Chris and reality|reality]]... Reality is [[Affair with Mother|a motherfucker]].|A deepfake of Mister Metokur.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saeC2T4Be8k</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|left|400px|{{w|Killing of Osama bin Laden|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."}}]]<br />
<br />
After nearly a decade of a slow downward spiral in nearly all aspects of Chris's life following Bob's death, his future did not look particularly bright. By 2021, Chris had largely reduced his online activities to posting long [[Twitter]] threads of faux-philosophical ramblings reflecting his New Age Retro Hippie mindset, which bordered on being incomprehensible or [[Enablers|esoteric]]. At the same time, the Chandler family debt was steadily rising, largely due to Barb and her son's poor spending habits. In the extremely likely event that Chris outlives Barb, it was speculated that the situation would get worse for Chris with nobody to ground him in reality. Not to mention that Chris was virtually unemployable in any career after years of having every detail about his past leak out to the internet, and he hadn't made a real effort to get a job since his attempt to win [[Kacey]]'s heart, after his short-lived stints working at [[Wendy's|fast food joints]] or in [[Cutco|multi-level marketing]].<br />
<br />
However, there was fleetingly a period of time in which there was a degree of hope for Chris. Chris successfully reconciled with Null, who eventually helped organize a trip for Chris so that he could attend [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention, on the condition that [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Chris would complete commission work in exchange for his donations]]. Null believed that this was a worthy effort in order to see if he could sustain himself as an adult through self-employment, particularly ahead of Barb's death. Chris actually kept up with these obligations, doing a considerable amount of work compared to previous months of less output. Had he kept his pace up post-convention, and with the right financial guidance, Chris could conceivably keep a roof over his head for at least another year. All seemed relatively normal for Chris as far as the post-Idea Guys status quo went, and some fans anticipated the possibility that Chris, now upset about MLP G5, would do something amusing at the convention as he prepared for the trip, just like old times.<br />
<br />
[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot_2.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in 2021. {{w|Psycho (1960 film)|"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly!"}}]]<br />
<br />
What happened next turned everything completely on its head. Chris would not, in fact, be going to Everfree Northwest. He would not be going to any future convention, for that matter, as the point of no return was finally passed after years of online infamy.<br />
<br />
On 29 July 2021, [[Incest Call|an audio recording of a conversation between Chris and the troll]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] surfaced online, featuring a graphic discussion in which [[Affair with Mother|Chris described sexual acts that he committed with his own mother]] – a felony – over the course of several weeks. While trolls joked about Chris potentially committing incest before, few actually believed that he was capable of acting on those impulses and taking advantage of an elderly (and possibly senile) woman. Once these details got out, nothing would ever be the same: he and Barb were separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], he had to vacate his only home due to a week-long protective order, he was very quickly banned from the convention that he'd hoped to attend, and his [[Patreon]] account – one of his few real sources of income – was taken down. Null quickly washed his hands of Chris for good, not only after learning that the audio leak was legitimate, but also when he realized that Chris effectively stole approximately $750 from Barb to fund his stay at a hotel. Chris was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] on 1 August 2021, an event which was live-streamed by [[Post-Merge Era|multiple orbiters]]. Chris's actions during this time trended on social media and were covered by various news outlets, including getting a segment on Fox News, which in turn exposed him to millions of boomers.<br />
<br />
Chris spent the next several months in jail after being arrested by the Henrico County sheriffs department, awaiting a court hearing set for 28 [[July 2022]], following three continuances. While waiting in jail, Chris's [[Messiah complex|delusions of godhood]] have spiraled out of control as he now believes himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus of Nazareth}} reincarnated and the [[Dimensional Merge]] to be proceeding entirely as planned. During this time, Chris has kept in touch with the outside world via a multitude of [[Jail Communications]] discussing a variety of subjects, from his jail conditions to [[Chris and religion|his renewed interest in the Bible]] and [[Weening|ween]] attempts to convert him to Islam through reading the Qur'an. These letters and phone calls have also revealed that Chris has been kept in protective custody for his own safety.<br />
<br />
Early into [[March 2022]], it was learned that Chris was transferred out of jail into an unknown facility, believed to be the Western State Hospital mental institution. During this time, Chris was isolated from the outside world and what he was up to while there will most likely remain unknown until his next hearing. He returned to CVRJ on [[May 2022|3 May 2022]], with a new mugshot taken upon his arrival, showing that Chris looks much more gaunt than before and has lost a substantial amount of weight.<br />
<br />
==Future==<br />
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|[[Jail Saga#Arrest|Some of Chris's last spoken words on video.]]}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[2022]], returned to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Basically, what six months in jail and three months in a psychiatric hospital does to a [[Chris and sex#Incest|quite literal motherfucker]].]]<br />
<br />
As it stands, Chris is set to remain in custody for several months in a best-case scenario. If Chris has been deemed incompetent to stand trial, he may be taken back to being held indefinitely in a mental health facility so the state can keep tabs on him, even if the case is continued after July. Beyond that, there are many ways that the trial may go.<br />
<br />
At best, Chris may get off scot-free aside from receiving mandatory therapy; albeit while still being registered as a sex offender, which would [[List of places that have banned Chris#Looking ahead|ban him for a minimum of 15 years]] (if not outright permanently) from any place attended by minors (including the conventions and gaming/toy stores he likes going to so much), as well as barring him from accessing the Internet without supervision. At worst, he's looking at a significant amount of prison time on top of being virtually unemployable upon release, likely unable to get income online since his fanbase has lost sympathy for him, and he'd be especially screwed since his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] would be permanently revoked under such circumstances. Additionally, Virginia is a three-strike law state, and since Chris already [[28 October 2011|committed two]] [[26 December 2014|serious felonies]] in the past, his incest charge is very likely going to be his third strike, resulting in a much tougher sentence. Given Chris' reputation, being placed in general population could be an especially dangerous issue for him while he's incarcerated, because it means that if he does not remain in some form of protective custody while serving his sentence<ref>[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)]]</ref>, there is a significant likelihood that he'll [[Kick the Autistic|become a target amongst inmates]] and be subjected to extreme sexual and/or physical violence and other such abuse; especially with the high rates of discrimination and assault that transgender and autistic people often, unfortunately, face while in prison, regardless of reputation or actions.<br />
<br />
If Barb did not consent to the affair (which may very well be the case), Chris could wind up getting an added Rape charge, netting himself a potential life sentence. This is because, in the State of Virginia, the maximum sentence for felony incest is 10 years, while the maximum sentence for Rape is life. Once [[Chris and death#Barbara Chandler|Barb passes away]], or if it is discovered that she consented and/or made the first move (as has also been suggested), [[14 Branchland Court]] itself will likely be foreclosed upon and potentially [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|condemned]] in order to resolve the [[Financhu Crisis]] and to either pay for her funeral expenses in the former scenario, or so that she can be charged as a willing accomplice in the latter scenario.<br />
<br />
If Chris ''does'' manage to get out of jail, he won't have many options from there, except for the following:<br />
<br />
[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|thumb|left|[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|Chris in the present]], following his arrest (albeit without Barb in the background, due to the restraining order).]]<br />
<br />
* He can try to seek out another family member to live off of (virtually impossible, and even more so after previous family members refused to shelter Chris after learning that he had sex with Barb; additionally, he has had next-to-no contact with any of them in recent years).<br />
* A social worker could help place him into assisted living (something Null even offered to help with until the incest fallout and Chris stealing $750 from Barb shortly before his arrest drove him away; so this is theoretically possible down the line — especially given that dedicated locations for it do exist for sex offenders — but quite unlikely).<br />
* He can attempt to beg online to live with someone (which would be next to impossible due to him being inhumanly intolerable to live with and the fact that how having sexual relations with his elderly mother for months would be a clear sign that nobody would want to adopt him), with [[Jacob Sockness]] being the only possible taker.<br />
* Finally, he can enter the so-called "Homeless Saga" and live as a vagrant on the streets (by far the most likely outcome, after Chris serves his prison sentence), putting himself at risk of getting robbed, assaulted, and gangbanged by weens, A-Logs, and criminals until his eventual death; be it by [[Death threats|homicide]], [[Chris and Death#Suicide|suicide]], [[Chris and drugs|substance abuse]], or a [[Biology#Health_and_Disease|fatal illness]] contracted from an unhealthy vagrant lifestyle.<br />
<br />
Some of these options are better than others, but none of them are ideal for him. This is also to say nothing of [[Chris and health|his many existing issues with mental and physical health]] (both of which will continue to decay and show no sign of recovering anytime soon). In any case, Chris's story is one that seems fated to [[Chris and Death#Chris himself (1982–)|not have a happy ending]], with his life perhaps serving as a cautionary tale in the age of the internet. A tale of [[Borb|bad parenting]], [[Chris and socialization|social isolation]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|gullibility]], [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and work|laziness]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], [[Chris and sex|sexual deviancy]], and most importantly, a tale of the world witnessing in real-time the slow, painful degradation of another human being.<br />
<br />
==Featured Fan Videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story<br />
| ytid = DxAhBoYfWy4<br />
| Stardate = 20 November 2009<br />
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris Chan ~ Ruler of Everything<br />
| ytid = Wul6LgL8FvI<br />
| Stardate = 4 March 2021<br />
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIbrqVkPdL_5qrgjwHYytQg First Son]<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] – Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.<br />
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] – Chris's furry alter ego.<br />
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].<br />
* [[User:Christianchandler]] – Chris's own CWCki account<br />
<br />
{{CWCipedia}}<br />
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}<br />
{{References}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the {{w|Internet Movie Database}}<br />
<br />
{{Newbie}}<br />
{{Check this out}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}<br />
{{Articleofthenow}} <br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris]]<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]<br />
[[Category:Homos]]</div>Clockwork Hydra