https://sonichu.com/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=Franco&feedformat=atomCWCki - User contributions [en]2024-03-28T21:48:42ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.37.6https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWC_%22Boyfriend%22&diff=231072CWC "Boyfriend"2019-06-01T14:34:13Z<p>Franco: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Prince (musician).jpg|thumb|He's the motherfucking Prince, man.]]<br />
<br />
'''CWC "Boyfriend"''' is a music video "addressed to the WOMEN ONLY" and uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[July 2009]]. While he was forced to make the video by [[Jack Thaddeus]], he used the opportunity to push his own homophobic agenda. This video features a little bit of everything when it comes to Chris's bizarre behavior, including [[I Got A Fish|dancing like a retard]], playing the [[Gitar of Fail]] and other such devices, and a side order of [[Homos|gay bashing]]. He even goes as far to condemn the lifestyle of lesbians ([[Lesbian Sleepover|let that sink in a little]]). Paper cut-outs are used to display Chris's delusions, as well as several recycled drawings.<br />
<br />
The video description and annotations reveal that Chris believed that [[Ivy]] killed herself as a result of the cessation in their communications. He blames [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] for breaking up their relationship — apparently, despite the best efforts of his father and others to reason with him, Chris chose to cling to the delusion that Ivy was not a troll. At that point in the video description Chris also states that "Ivy killed herself on July 2008", months before Chris ever met her, although this is more than likely just [[Chris and English|a mistake]]. At around 2:05, astute [[video game]] fans may notice that Chris-Chan purchased the universally panned, all-around shitty ''[[Guitar Hero|Rock Band]]'' ripoff ''Rock Revolution'' (though considering his spending habits, this shouldn't be a shock).<br />
<br />
On 29 [[July 2009]], [[The CWCville Library]] uploaded an alternate version of the video, with Chris just dancing and different lyrics.<br />
<br />
In [[March 2010]] Chris would also use an extract from this video as part of a [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|desperate plea]] to [[the Wallflower]] to relieve him of his [[Virgin with rage|terrible burden]].<br />
<br />
==Description==<br />
{{quotebox|Not only a fulfillment to a blackmail, but Also a Memorial Music Video.<br> <br />
<br />
Miss. Ivy O'Niel died July, 2008 in suicide from being restricted from Communication, as well as coming to visit me. She was a honest, sweet woman.<br> <br />
<br />
May this video always be a commerative memorial for her always. And to [[Officer Keino|Mr. O'Niel]], I salute your bravery on the Police, although my Detective could not find you on any Precint records, and I offer my deepest condolences for your loss, as I feel it terribly myself.<br><br />
<br />
I had to listen to my [[Bob|Meatheaded Father]]'s Scooby-Doo Detective jargon, as well as the Real Detective's jazz.<br><br />
<br />
Ivy, I'm sorry for believing my father's crackpot theory and letting it baffle me and my heart. Please forgive me, and rest in peace.<br> <br />
<br />
I will always have the place for you in my heart.<br><br />
<br />
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Also, to clearify:<br><br />
Woman #1 is [[Megan Schroeder]].<br> <br />
Then Ivy's Memorial<br> <br />
Woman #2 is [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca Wiess]]; Blanca is with a friend in the Lesbian Pic; do not who that girl was.<br><br />
Woman #3 is [[Jessie Ruddy]]<br><br />
Woman #4, or B&W Picture Woman is [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<br> <br />
<nowiki>**</nowiki>[[Monty Python|Spiney Norman]]; Go after Howard and his Pickle-Suited Cult.**<br><br />
"Dinsdale!"<br><br />
Woman #5 is PICTURE ONLY of WHO was supposed to be [[Julie]] Milvana.}}<br />
<br />
==Video==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = CWC "Boyfriend"<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bNDvCiatFuw}}<br />
| stardate = 25 [[July 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{BlueTShirt|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Chris humps his PS3]]<br />
| next = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#A Preview|A Preview]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
[''Video opens with Chris in his blue T-shirt, singing.'']<br />
<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I don’t like your boyfriend!<br />
No way! No way!<br />
I think you need a new one<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I could be your boyfriend</poem><br />
''Chris mimes on the [[Gitar of Fail]]- his shirt changing due to the jump cut.''<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I know that you like me [''[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]'s photo appears, for no clear reason'']<br />
No way! No way!<br />
No, it’s not a secret<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I want to be your boyfriend</poem><br />
''Drawing of [[Ivy]] and [[Layla|Luckette]].''<br />
<poem>You’re so fine [''Photograph of [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and another woman'']<br />
I want you mine<br />
You’re so delicious [''Images from "[[Sonichu Special 1]]", "[[Wedding Comic]]"'']<br />
I think about ya all the time<br />
You’re so addictive<br />
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?<br />
Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious<br />
And Hells Yeah<br />
I’m the motherfucking prince, man<br />
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right</poem><br />
''Photo of unknown woman with unknown man.''<br />
<poem>He’s like so whatever<br />
And you could do so much better [''Man's photo is replaced with one of Chris'']<br />
I think we should get together now<br />
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!</poem><br />
''Polaroid of a couple.''<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I don’t like a girlfriend!<br />
No way! No way!That' ain't right, woman! [''Polaroid shifts to reveal caption "[[Homos|GIRL-ON-GIRL?!!]]", which changes to "GOD HATES THAT"]<br />
No way! No way!<br />
I could be your boyfriend</poem><br />
''Chris on the Gitar again.''<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You! [''Photo of lesbian couple is now split in two - caption "STAY STRAIGHT"]<br />
I know that you like me<br />
Hey, you! Hey, you!<br />
You need to be straight, girl!<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You! [''Chris interposed between lesbians - caption becomes "TAKE THIS DUDE, ALREADY GIRL"'']<br />
I want to be your boyfriend</poem><br />
''Chris dances faggily.''<br />
<poem>I can see the way. I see the way you look at me [''Image from "[[Sonichu Special 1]]"'']<br />
And even when you look away I know you think of me [''Photo of Bob with illegible speech bubble, which becomes "THE DETECTIVE FOUND '''NO''' POLICE RECORDS OF HER COP-FATHER", and then "MY SCOOBY-DOO DETECTIVE WORK HAS PINPOINTED AND BLOWN YOUR MIND"'']<br />
I know you talk about me all the time again and again [''Image of Chris with sore head'']<br />
So come—so come over here, tell me what I want to hear [''"DAMN WHY DID I LISTEN TO MY MEATHEADED FATHER AND THAT DETECTIVE"'']<br />
Better yet make your old one disappear [''"IVY NEVER LEFT MY HEART DURING THOSE TRAUMA TWO MONTHS"'']<br />
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again [''"AT LEAST I GOT TO TELL HER "I LOVE YOU" ONE LAST TIME"; "IT'S MY FAULT"'']</poem><br />
''Photo of three women, captioned "IN LOVING MEMORY OF IVY O'NIEL".''<br />
<poem>Because, he’s like so whatever [''Chris dances idiotically with his eyes closed'']<br />
And you could do so much better [''Photo of unknown couple'']<br />
I think we should get together now<br />
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!</poem><br />
<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You! [''Chris plays ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' drums in a different shirt, looking like a complete child'']<br />
I don’t like your boyfriend!<br />
Hey! Hey! No way!<br />
I think you need a new one<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I could be your boyfriend</poem><br />
<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I know that you like me<br />
No way! No way!<br />
You know it’s not a secret [''Previous couple photo is used, except Chris again replaces the man'']<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I want to be your boyfriend</poem><br />
''More idiotic dancing.''<br />
<poem>In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger<br />
Cause I can, cause I can do it better<br />
There’s no other<br />
So when's it gonna sink in?<br />
He's so trollin' stupid<br />
What the hell were you thinking?!</poem><br />
''[[Mary Lee Walsh]] is now paired with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].'' <br />
<poem>That old sumbah tried to take you out my life<br />
But you know I can do it way better<br />
He's an impostor. He's a poser! [''Mary is now paired with a skinny, hella sexy guy. A hedgehog moves across the image, saying "HOWARD".'']<br />
What the hells were you thinkin' with that damn Pickle Suit?!</poem><br />
''More pretend guitar.''<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I don’t like your boyfriend!<br />
No way! No way!<br />
I think you need a new one [''[[Julie]] with a MIPS'']<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I could be your boyfriend</poem><br />
''More guitar.''<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I know that you'd like me [''Julie with Chris'']<br />
No way! No way!<br />
No, it’s not a secret<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I want to be your boyfriend</poem><br />
<br />
<poem>Hey! You! You! <br />
I don’t like your boyfriend!<br />
No way! No way! [''More gitar'']<br />
I think you need a new one<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I could be your boyfriend</poem><br />
''Chris points at the camera and dances like a [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]].''<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I know that you'd like me<br />
No way!<br />
No, it’s not a secret <br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I want to be your boyfriend</poem><br />
<br />
<poem>Hey you!</poem><br />
<br />
==A preview==<br />
A preview for CWC "Boyfriend" was uploaded by Chris on 20 July 2009. Chris then deleted the video in a matter of hours, leading to serious doubts about the probability of the promised video appearing. Yet, true to his word, the video did arrive five days later, much to everybody's surprise.<br />
<br />
===Video===<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = A Preview<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kdOBOpRnay8}}<br />
| stardate = 25 [[July 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}}<br />
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#Video|CWC "Boyfriend"]]<br />
| next = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#Alternate Leaked Edition|"CWC Girlfriend Singstar" - Leaked Edition]]<br />
}}<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
(Avril Lavigne's song Girlfriend plays in the background)<br />
<br />
Chris: (Singing to roughly the tune of the music)<br />
<br />
Hey Hey You You I don't like your boyfriend! <br />
<br />
No Way No Way I think you need a new one! <br />
<br />
Hey Hey You You I could be your boyfriend <br />
<br />
Hey hey you you I know that you like me<br />
<br />
No way no way I know it's not a secret <br />
<br />
Hey hey you you I want to be your boyfriend<br />
<br />
==Alternate leaked edition==<br />
===Video===<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = "CWC Girlfriend Singstar" - Leaked Edition<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Jgcv86X9uCU}}<br />
| stardate = 25 [[July 2009]]<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{BlueTShirt|text}}<br />
| other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| previous = [[CWC "Boyfriend"#A Preview|A Preview]]<br />
| next = [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
=== Transcript ===<br />
<br />
<poem>Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I don't like your boyfriend!<br />
No way! No way!<br />
'think ya need a new one!<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You<br />
I could be your boyfriend!<br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I know that you like me,<br />
No way! No way! Know it's not a secret,<br />
Hey Hey, You You, I want to be your boyfriend!<br />
<br />
You're so fine, I want you mine you're so delicious,<br />
I think about you all the time you're so addictive.<br />
Don't you know what I could to do to make you feel..ALRIGHT.<br />
<br />
Don't pretend you think I know I'm damn precious,<br />
And hells yeah I'm the motherfucking prince man,<br />
I can tell ya like me too, and I know am right.<br />
He's like so whatever, and you could do so much better (hops around)<br />
I think we should get together noooowww,<br />
And that's what everyone's talkin about!<br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I don't like your girlfriend <br />
No way! No way! <br />
That ain't right woman!<br />
No way! No way!<br />
I could be your boyfriend! <br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I know that ya like me,<br />
(mumbles something) You, you, you need to be straight girl,<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You! <br />
I want to be your boyfriend!<br />
<br />
I can see the way, see the way ya look at me.<br />
And Even when you look away I know ya think of me,<br />
I know you talk about me all the time again and agaaiin.<br />
<br />
So come over here, tell my what I wanna hear,<br />
Better yet, make your old one disappear,<br />
I don't want to hear ya say his name agaain.<br />
<br />
BECAUSE<br />
He's like so whatever <br />
and you could do, so much better.<br />
I think we should get together nooow,<br />
'N that's what everyone's talking about.<br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I don't like your boyfriend.<br />
No way! No way!<br />
I think ya need a new one.<br />
and Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend. <br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I know that ya like me,<br />
And No way! No way, know it's not a secret<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I want to be your boyfriend.<br />
<br />
In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger.<br />
'Cause I can, Cause I can do it better,<br />
There's no *mumbles* other so when's it going to sink in<br />
He's so troll and stupid what the hell were you thinkin?!<br />
<br />
That ol' sumbah tried to take ya outta my life.<br />
But you know I can do it way better,<br />
He's an impostor, he's a poser, *wipes sweat from brow*<br />
What the hells were ya thinkin with that Pickle Suit?<br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You! <br />
I don't like your boyfriend!<br />
No way! No way! <br />
Think ya need a new one<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You! <br />
I could be your boyfriend.<br />
<br />
Way, No way <br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! you!<br />
I know that ya like me<br />
No way! No way!<br />
Know it's not a secret.<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend<br />
<br />
No way, No waaaayy.<br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You! <br />
I don't like your boyfriend <br />
No way, no way.. <br />
Think you need a new one<br />
Hey! Hey! You! you!<br />
I could be your boyfriend<br />
No way no way<br />
<br />
Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I know that you like me<br />
No WAYYY and No WAYYY <br />
I know it's not a secret,<br />
and Hey! Hey! You! You!<br />
I want to be your boyfriend<br />
No way, No wayyy<br />
<br />
HEY YOU</poem><br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = A "Memorial Music Video" for Chris<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|n8AfvxreSb4}}<br />
| stardate = 27 [[May 2010]]<br />
| maker = CWCmemorial<br />
| subject = <br />
| type = <br />
| info = }}<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris humps his PS3]]|nextlink=[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]|}}<br />
{{Music Videos}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Leaked videos]]<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-25]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=File:CWConMLW1.jpeg&diff=230995File:CWConMLW1.jpeg2019-05-31T09:44:29Z<p>Franco: Chris's tweets about Mary Lee Walsh's retirement</p>
<hr />
<div>== Summary ==<br />
Chris's tweets about Mary Lee Walsh's retirement</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Mary_Lee_Walsh&diff=230994Mary Lee Walsh2019-05-31T09:37:43Z<p>Franco: /* Grudge */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
{{Template:DeadLinks}}<br />
{{quote|You're not gonna get a [[Girlfriend]], this way or any way.|Mary, as quoted by Chris.<ref>[[Chris emails 2007]]</ref>}}<br />
{{Quote|Enough OLD [[Chris and anger|angst]] against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME...|Chris, lying, in November 2007.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]]. Chris draws her tits almost as big as his fans do.]]<br />
<br />
'''Mary Lee Walsh''' is a proto-[[troll]] and former dean of student affairs at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. She thwarted [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] in its early years by allegedly ripping up his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and eventually suspending him from PVCC for a whole year. She is one of the most important people in Chris's life, as she is one of the few people who refused to allow Chris to use his [[autism]] as an excuse for anything he wanted, and tried to make him act like a normal human being. This, of course, meant war.<br />
<br />
The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still arguably the supreme villain in the ''Sonichu'' series, a status that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life, and in ''Sonichu'' [[fan]] fiction. All hail the Dean!<br />
<br />
By early [[2009]], many years after the college suspension episode, Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh. He began with the [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam''', implying (and later stating outright) that the character was not related to the real Mary. For several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including sending a drawing to her house, but her only response was a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to [[Chris_and_remorse#Common_traits_of_a_CWC_apology|truly earn his forgiveness]].<br />
<br />
Chris' continued feud with Mary Lee Walsh is illustrative of his propensity to hold severe grudges over seemingly minor incidents. In late [[2013]], '''ten years''' after the August 2003 incident, Chris blamed Mary Lee Walsh in part for his continued decline in a series of [[Facebook]] ramblings, and referred to a [[Wal-Mart]] [[manajerk]] who banned him from the store as a "Mary Lee Walshing Witch Bitch".<br />
<br />
She has since thankfully slipped Chris' attention, and on 14 [[May 2019]] she peacefully retired.<ref>[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:MLW_retirement.jpg]</ref><br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalshIRLnewsScreenCapture.JPG|thumb|left|Walsh during a TV interview.]]<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalsh-IRL.JPG|thumb|right|Contrary to how she is rendered in various media, Mary Lee Walsh is not very promiscuous in person.]]<br />
<br />
Walsh was the Dean of Student Affairs at PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20101015023113/http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html] (archived on 15 October 2010)</ref> She has also written a book<ref>http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Freshman-Experience-Creating-College-Success-Piedmont-Virginia-Community-College-by-Mary-L-Walsh-and-Mary-Lee-Walsh-2001-Paperback/2491824&tg=info</ref> about coping with college life, which perhaps unsurprisingly does not advocate attacking one's superiors with magical curses. Chris had first been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, but delivered the most crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[Attraction Sign]]; [[Chris and reality|according to Chris]], Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed ''at all''. However true this alleged statement may have been, there is virtually no chance Mary said it, as it would have been highly inappropriate and jeopardized her job.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that, judging by her e-mail exchanges with Chris, Walsh was anything but hostile towards Chris; quite the opposite, in fact - Versus Chris's version of events, Walsh was entirely reasonable in her conduct towards Chris and his attraction sign escapades.<br />
<br />
Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings to stop posting his signs and continued to place this ad for his "love quest" in the main campus building. Walsh, taking umbrage at this clear defiance of her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. What exactly transpired during the meeting is a source of much debate, as the only accounts made public are written by Chris and thus heavily biased. What is known is that during the meeting, [[Chris and reality|Chris pretended to converse out loud with Sonichu]] (relaying what Sonichu "said" to her). Then, after what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he verbally attacked her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|rage]], going so far as to hex her with the dreaded [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref> Chris was told in no uncertain terms that he couldn't continue his [[Love Quest]] on campus, prompting him to slander Walsh on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] and send her an attempt at an intimidating drawing.<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref> This little stunt got him banned from PVCC for a whole year, and forced to take anger management classes and get psychiatric help before he was readmitted.<ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails#Chris got his degree for Cwcville|Jackie E-mails]]</ref> Any positive effects these may have are not evident.<br />
<br />
===In his own words===<br />
{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year-old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year-old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21-year-old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Niggos|Black]] impersonating [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!]]" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[JERKS|jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[Chris and religion|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}<br />
<br />
===Emails with Mary===<br />
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM'''<br><br />
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu'''<br><br />
'''Subject: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:<br />
<br />
-I will never hang notes on the wall again.<br><br />
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.<br><br />
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[Scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).<br><br />
<br />
Please reply via E-Mail.<br />
<br />
Christian C.<br />
</div><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|<br />
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh <mwalsh@pvcc.edu>'''<br><br />
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am'''<br><br />
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Christian:<br />
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.}}<br />
<br />
'''Email to [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]'''<br />
<br />
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time'''<br><br />
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''<br />
<br />
Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or Virginia), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).<br />
<br />
You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?<br />
<br />
As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".<br />
<br />
But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan Schroeder|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.<br />
<br />
You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable [''sic''] images uploaded onto my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*<br />
<br />
Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)<br />
<br />
Take care;<br />
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan. <br />
</div><br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==<br />
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]<br />
[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Chris is willing to pick up his markers and make hideous porn of people that he hates.]]<br />
<br />
Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris brooded and obsessed over his "HEART SHATTERING" defeat and began to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. As such, Walsh began to appear in a lot of Chris's works as a primary antagonist specifically opposing his [[Love Quest]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, in regards to a comic which isn't meant to be about him}}<br />
<br />
In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick. In an ingenious [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. Her sinister deeds are motivated by a [[Chris and Writing|totally unexplained]] hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only tactic is to send [[Jerkop|jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance (she needed Graduon's help for the later invasions). For no given reason, she considers Chris the most important target of her malign actions, and doesn't seem aware of the fact that true love occurs outside of CWCville as well.<br />
<br />
Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Upon her introduction, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, yet Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once "shattered" his heart and she is inexplicably frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh represent the dual miseries of his becoming an adult--the trauma of graduating from his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his disastrous collegiate career. To combat Walsh's powerful new accomplice, in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the original battle between a fat virgin and an old lady to an epic struggle between a horribly drawn Sonic OC and an old lady with a scepter.<br />
<br />
During her reign of terror, Walsh threatens the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In ''Sonichu'' #2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil, although Mary simply relocates to [[The High School Story|Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse, she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a [[Dark Mirror Hole]], but are only successful in ensnaring Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Mary seizes the opportunity and prepares to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Transformers|Decepticlones]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil is finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when Chris uses the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become [[Collosal Chris-Chan]]. He then destroys Graduon's scepter and easily overpowers her, but instead of killing her (like he killed 100+ innocent people in that very issue) he paralyzes her (seemingly permanently) and sends her to jail.<br />
<br />
A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is that she is to blame for almost everything that maligns Chris or CWCville, mirroring Chris's insane belief that the real-life Mary was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes. Even her conspirators are victims--virtually all of her Jerkops are simply brainwashed against their will, and even co-villain Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter. To labor the point even more, while Chris suggests that some of her followers have good in them and are capable of redemption, Mary herself is pure evil.<br />
<br />
<br />
===Renaming and retcons===<br />
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Hslaw Eel Ryam Hctib Hctiw deriah yerg eht liah lla]]<br />
<br />
As a result of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In an act of utmost subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became "'''Slaweel Ryam'''" or "'''Slaweel the Witch'''". A devious maneuver indeed – as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backwards, and there are letters missing. Nobody could possibly figure out the connection, unless of course they happened to see the notice posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page detailing the full extent of the name changes. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form, as that would require originality. The name is an evolution of "'''Hslaw Eel Yram'''", which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards; in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw it.<br />
<br />
In [[August 2009]], Chris put up a [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled "TwoMarys"] in which he tried graspingly to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Apparently, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This of course makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in ''Sonichu'' #0, where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris had essentially created a paradox within his universe, having made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but because of the retcon Slaweel hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's "sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years," but on the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys "TwoMarys" page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a cohesive plot.}}<br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==<br />
{{main|Soul Calibur}}<br />
<br />
It is unclear whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the daylights out of her. Chris creates himself and many other real-life friends and enemies in the [[video game]] ''Soul Calibur III'', so that he can take out his pent-up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. It should be noted that Chris appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest possible setting.<br />
<br />
==Possible reconciliation==<br />
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]<br />
<br />
Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began re-examining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on CWCipedia, to distinguish her from "Slaweel":<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys</ref>}}<br />
<br />
The article rambles on and drifts alarmingly far from reality, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research," detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.<br />
<br />
Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Christian_Says</ref><br />
<br />
In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, but Mary simply contacted his parents and told them to keep Chris off campus altogether.<br />
<br />
From this action, Chris inferred that Mary didn't care about him or their relationship, and Chris was crushed. Also crushed were any hopes of reconciliation, as after this incident Chris soon reverted to precisely the same deranged mindset as before, once again imagining her as somehow orchestrating everything bad that happened to him.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Grudge==<br />
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 29.jpg|thumb|right|Voodoo [[LEGO]] Mary. Chris shakes this container and holds it upside down to torment her.]]<br />
Chris's anger toward Mary Lee Walsh continues well over a decade since his [[Attraction Sign]] was torn down at [[PVCC]]. In a series of rambling [[Facebook]] postings made on 2 [[September 2013]], Chris began blaming various people for a temporary ban from [[Wal-Mart]], including Walsh:<br />
<br />
{{quote|If it had not been for [[Michael Snyder|Mr. "Manajerk"]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, [[The GAMe PLACe|Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys]], My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!...And that [[Women's Rights|bitch]], Mary Lee Walsh, with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my Sweetheart Search, AND Banning me from PVCC!!!|Chris, Facebook, 2 September 2013}}<br />
<br />
A few days later, when Chris was conclusively banned from Wal-Mart, he coined the term "Walshing," a verb that evidently means "not accepting autism as an excuse."<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" Manajerk...the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house...She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, Mary Lee Walshing, Witch Bitch!|Chris, Facebook, 6 September 2013}}<br />
<br />
On 17 [[December 2014]], [[Apology Letters|an apology letter]] that Chris had written to Walsh in [[August 2014]] was leaked. True to form, Chris blames everything on factors supposedly beyond his control, and tries to be condescending and play the victim at the same time. He specifically tries to appease Mary for depicting her in his comic as a witch, operating on the presumption that a university administrator is gravely concerned with the way she is presented in DeviantArt-level Sonic OC garbage drawn by a fat [[Tomgirl|tranny]].<br />
<br />
Upon Walsh's retirement, Chris stated that he has left his grudge behind and wished her a nice life, even claiming he didn't recall much about her. However, he immediately followed this up with a passive-aggressive critique of Walsh's conduct, showing he was still upset that she tore the [[Attraction sign|Attraction sign]]. He also wanted to know if Walsh had made any statement regarding his 2009 apology, claiming it was added back to his ˝pile of [[Stress|stresses]]˝.<br />
<br />
==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==<br />
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]<br />
<br />
In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, Chris being Chris, he would often neglect to draw her hair (and her fingers, and her feet, and her nose...) at all. In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by drawing Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon succubus who tempted Chris with her body (which he was sure to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been "Rule 34" fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), usually wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots. In the ''Sonichu'' animated series by SpazKid, she was depicted as being physically sexy but having unflattering sexual desires (such as shoving the staff containing Count Graduon up her [[China|china]] to shut him up, and demanding a recording of a minion shoving Chris's medallion up their butt) and speaking with a man's voice.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Gallery; mostly NSFW.<br />
|<gallery perrow=3><br />
Image:126473378631.JPG<br />
Image:12670593995.JPG<br />
Image:127128115082.jpg<br />
Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg<br />
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg<br />
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:Cc5.jpg<br />
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg<br />
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png<br />
Image:Makeitup.png<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg<br />
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg<br />
Image:Mlw.png<br />
Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:MLWsis.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu34.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu342.png<br />
Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Curse those damn trolls by amazing toaster-d30xau7.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg<br />
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg<br />
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png<br />
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png<br />
Image:Mlw_avec_colour.PNG<br />
Image:Lost 2010 Fan Art.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}<br />
{{Fan art}} <br />
*[[Count Graduon]]<br />
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]<br />
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]<br />
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]<br />
*[[Attraction Sign]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]<br />
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)<br />
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Love quest}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Villains]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=May_2019&diff=230993May 20192019-05-31T09:18:29Z<p>Franco: /* Highlights */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{ongoing}}<br />
<br />
'''May''' is the fifth month of [[2019]].<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris 14 May 2019.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris in May.]]<br />
<br />
==Highlights==<br />
*1 May - With the release of the first trailer, Chris voices his discontent with the [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' movie]].<br />
*6 May - Chris is sued for [[Financhu Crisis|debt]] for the ''fifth time''. The creditor this time is Portfolio Recovery Associates, LLC, filing its second debt suit against Chris.<br />
*9 May - Chris sees the ''[[Pokémon|Detective Pikachu]]'' movie. He gives it a glowing review.<br />
*11 May - Chris dumps a bunch of retconned lore about [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] on Twitter. <br />
*13 May - Chris lists a throw blanket on [[eBay]] for $200, tweeting: "[[Financhu Crisis|we need the money here, that’s for sure]]. Thank you." [[Jacob Sockness]] buys it the next day.<br />
*14 May - [[Mary Lee Walsh]] retires as [[PVCC]]'s Dean of Student Affairs.<br />
*15 May - The first [[Chris and the law|court hearing]] for the April 2019 warrant in debt for [[Chris and money|money]] owed to Portfolio Recovery Associates takes place: the case is adjourned to 19 June, when it will be heard in conjunction with the May 2019 warrant in debt.<ref>[[:File:Court Record GV19000149-00 (Chris vs. Portfolio Recovery Associates, 2019).png|Chris vs. Portfolio Recovery Associates]], 2019 (GV19000149-00)</ref><br />
*21-22 May - Sets of Twitter DMs from the latest people trying to worm their way into Chris's life, [[Sarah and Steve]], is posted.<br />
*24 May - Midland Funding [[:File:Court Record - 2018 Midland Funding Debt Case (Chris, GV18000451-01).png|files for garnishment]] against Chris after he failed to maintain payments on a $2,777.90 judgement from December 2018. The [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' movie]] is announced to be delayed to 14 [[February 2020]].<br />
*25 May - Chris goes on a tweetstorm over his sleeping methods. He is also [[Pappy Van Poodle Interview|interviewed]] by YouTuber Nick Robinson over his rumored discovery of Pappy Van Poodle, a character from ''Rusty's Real Deal Baseball''.<br />
*26 May - [[Sarah and Steve]] bail on Chris, posting that they had been swindled out of hundreds and treated as subhumans.<br />
*30 May - Chris tweets about [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] retirement. He claims to have reconciled with her, but still complains about [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Mary_Lee_Walsh_in_real_life|her conduct in 2003]] and asks whether she made any statement regarding his previous apologies.<br />
<br />
==Videos==<br />
*[[May 2019 videos]]<br />
<br />
==Posts==<br />
*[[May 2019 social media posts]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Timeline}}</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=May_2019&diff=230992May 20192019-05-31T09:17:56Z<p>Franco: /* Highlights */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{ongoing}}<br />
<br />
'''May''' is the fifth month of [[2019]].<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris 14 May 2019.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris in May.]]<br />
<br />
==Highlights==<br />
*1 May - With the release of the first trailer, Chris voices his discontent with the [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' movie]].<br />
*6 May - Chris is sued for [[Financhu Crisis|debt]] for the ''fifth time''. The creditor this time is Portfolio Recovery Associates, LLC, filing its second debt suit against Chris.<br />
*9 May - Chris sees the ''[[Pokémon|Detective Pikachu]]'' movie. He gives it a glowing review.<br />
*11 May - Chris dumps a bunch of retconned lore about [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] on Twitter. <br />
*13 May - Chris lists a throw blanket on [[eBay]] for $200, tweeting: "[[Financhu Crisis|we need the money here, that’s for sure]]. Thank you." [[Jacob Sockness]] buys it the next day.<br />
*14 May - [[Mary Lee Walsh]] retires as [[PVCC]]'s Dean of Student Affairs.<br />
*15 May - The first [[Chris and the law|court hearing]] for the April 2019 warrant in debt for [[Chris and money|money]] owed to Portfolio Recovery Associates takes place: the case is adjourned to 19 June, when it will be heard in conjunction with the May 2019 warrant in debt.<ref>[[:File:Court Record GV19000149-00 (Chris vs. Portfolio Recovery Associates, 2019).png|Chris vs. Portfolio Recovery Associates]], 2019 (GV19000149-00)</ref><br />
*21-22 May - Sets of Twitter DMs from the latest people trying to worm their way into Chris's life, [[Sarah and Steve]], is posted.<br />
*24 May - Midland Funding [[:File:Court Record - 2018 Midland Funding Debt Case (Chris, GV18000451-01).png|files for garnishment]] against Chris after he failed to maintain payments on a $2,777.90 judgement from December 2018. The [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' movie]] is announced to be delayed to 14 [[February 2020]].<br />
*25 May - Chris goes on a tweetstorm over his sleeping methods. He is also [[Pappy Van Poodle Interview|interviewed]] by YouTuber Nick Robinson over his rumored discovery of Pappy Van Poodle, a character from ''Rusty's Real Deal Baseball''.<br />
*26 May - [[Sarah and Steve]] bail on Chris, posting that they had been swindled out of hundreds and treated as subhumans.<br />
*30 May - Chris tweets about [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] retirement. He claims to have reconciled with her, but still complains about her [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Mary_Lee_Walsh_in_real_life|conduct in 2003]] and asks whether she made any statement regarding his previous apologies.<br />
<br />
==Videos==<br />
*[[May 2019 videos]]<br />
<br />
==Posts==<br />
*[[May 2019 social media posts]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Timeline}}</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=May_2019&diff=230991May 20192019-05-31T09:16:17Z<p>Franco: /* Highlights */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{ongoing}}<br />
<br />
'''May''' is the fifth month of [[2019]].<br />
<br />
[[File:Chris 14 May 2019.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris in May.]]<br />
<br />
==Highlights==<br />
*1 May - With the release of the first trailer, Chris voices his discontent with the [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' movie]].<br />
*6 May - Chris is sued for [[Financhu Crisis|debt]] for the ''fifth time''. The creditor this time is Portfolio Recovery Associates, LLC, filing its second debt suit against Chris.<br />
*9 May - Chris sees the ''[[Pokémon|Detective Pikachu]]'' movie. He gives it a glowing review.<br />
*11 May - Chris dumps a bunch of retconned lore about [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] on Twitter. <br />
*13 May - Chris lists a throw blanket on [[eBay]] for $200, tweeting: "[[Financhu Crisis|we need the money here, that’s for sure]]. Thank you." [[Jacob Sockness]] buys it the next day.<br />
*14 May - [[Mary Lee Walsh]] retires as [[PVCC]]'s Dean of Student Affairs.<br />
*15 May - The first [[Chris and the law|court hearing]] for the April 2019 warrant in debt for [[Chris and money|money]] owed to Portfolio Recovery Associates takes place: the case is adjourned to 19 June, when it will be heard in conjunction with the May 2019 warrant in debt.<ref>[[:File:Court Record GV19000149-00 (Chris vs. Portfolio Recovery Associates, 2019).png|Chris vs. Portfolio Recovery Associates]], 2019 (GV19000149-00)</ref><br />
*21-22 May - Sets of Twitter DMs from the latest people trying to worm their way into Chris's life, [[Sarah and Steve]], is posted.<br />
*24 May - Midland Funding [[:File:Court Record - 2018 Midland Funding Debt Case (Chris, GV18000451-01).png|files for garnishment]] against Chris after he failed to maintain payments on a $2,777.90 judgement from December 2018. The [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' movie]] is announced to be delayed to 14 [[February 2020]].<br />
*25 May - Chris goes on a tweetstorm over his sleeping methods. He is also [[Pappy Van Poodle Interview|interviewed]] by YouTuber Nick Robinson over his rumored discovery of Pappy Van Poodle, a character from ''Rusty's Real Deal Baseball''.<br />
*26 May - [[Sarah and Steve]] bail on Chris, posting that they had been swindled out of hundreds and treated as subhumans.<br />
*30 May - Chris tweets about [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] retirement. He claims to have reconciled with her, but still complains about her conduct in 2003 and asks whether she made any statement regarding his previous apologies.<br />
<br />
==Videos==<br />
*[[May 2019 videos]]<br />
<br />
==Posts==<br />
*[[May 2019 social media posts]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Timeline}}</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Mary_Lee_Walsh&diff=230990Mary Lee Walsh2019-05-31T09:11:25Z<p>Franco: /* Grudge */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
{{Template:DeadLinks}}<br />
{{quote|You're not gonna get a [[Girlfriend]], this way or any way.|Mary, as quoted by Chris.<ref>[[Chris emails 2007]]</ref>}}<br />
{{Quote|Enough OLD [[Chris and anger|angst]] against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME...|Chris, lying, in November 2007.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]]. Chris draws her tits almost as big as his fans do.]]<br />
<br />
'''Mary Lee Walsh''' is a proto-[[troll]] and former dean of student affairs at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. She thwarted [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] in its early years by allegedly ripping up his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and eventually suspending him from PVCC for a whole year. She is one of the most important people in Chris's life, as she is one of the few people who refused to allow Chris to use his [[autism]] as an excuse for anything he wanted, and tried to make him act like a normal human being. This, of course, meant war.<br />
<br />
The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still arguably the supreme villain in the ''Sonichu'' series, a status that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life, and in ''Sonichu'' [[fan]] fiction. All hail the Dean!<br />
<br />
By early [[2009]], many years after the college suspension episode, Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh. He began with the [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam''', implying (and later stating outright) that the character was not related to the real Mary. For several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including sending a drawing to her house, but her only response was a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to [[Chris_and_remorse#Common_traits_of_a_CWC_apology|truly earn his forgiveness]].<br />
<br />
Chris' continued feud with Mary Lee Walsh is illustrative of his propensity to hold severe grudges over seemingly minor incidents. In late [[2013]], '''ten years''' after the August 2003 incident, Chris blamed Mary Lee Walsh in part for his continued decline in a series of [[Facebook]] ramblings, and referred to a [[Wal-Mart]] [[manajerk]] who banned him from the store as a "Mary Lee Walshing Witch Bitch".<br />
<br />
She has since thankfully slipped Chris' attention, and on 14 [[May 2019]] she peacefully retired.<ref>[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:MLW_retirement.jpg]</ref><br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalshIRLnewsScreenCapture.JPG|thumb|left|Walsh during a TV interview.]]<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalsh-IRL.JPG|thumb|right|Contrary to how she is rendered in various media, Mary Lee Walsh is not very promiscuous in person.]]<br />
<br />
Walsh was the Dean of Student Affairs at PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20101015023113/http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html] (archived on 15 October 2010)</ref> She has also written a book<ref>http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Freshman-Experience-Creating-College-Success-Piedmont-Virginia-Community-College-by-Mary-L-Walsh-and-Mary-Lee-Walsh-2001-Paperback/2491824&tg=info</ref> about coping with college life, which perhaps unsurprisingly does not advocate attacking one's superiors with magical curses. Chris had first been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, but delivered the most crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[Attraction Sign]]; [[Chris and reality|according to Chris]], Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed ''at all''. However true this alleged statement may have been, there is virtually no chance Mary said it, as it would have been highly inappropriate and jeopardized her job.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that, judging by her e-mail exchanges with Chris, Walsh was anything but hostile towards Chris; quite the opposite, in fact - Versus Chris's version of events, Walsh was entirely reasonable in her conduct towards Chris and his attraction sign escapades.<br />
<br />
Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings to stop posting his signs and continued to place this ad for his "love quest" in the main campus building. Walsh, taking umbrage at this clear defiance of her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. What exactly transpired during the meeting is a source of much debate, as the only accounts made public are written by Chris and thus heavily biased. What is known is that during the meeting, [[Chris and reality|Chris pretended to converse out loud with Sonichu]] (relaying what Sonichu "said" to her). Then, after what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he verbally attacked her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|rage]], going so far as to hex her with the dreaded [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref> Chris was told in no uncertain terms that he couldn't continue his [[Love Quest]] on campus, prompting him to slander Walsh on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] and send her an attempt at an intimidating drawing.<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref> This little stunt got him banned from PVCC for a whole year, and forced to take anger management classes and get psychiatric help before he was readmitted.<ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails#Chris got his degree for Cwcville|Jackie E-mails]]</ref> Any positive effects these may have are not evident.<br />
<br />
===In his own words===<br />
{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year-old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year-old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21-year-old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Niggos|Black]] impersonating [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!]]" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[JERKS|jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[Chris and religion|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}<br />
<br />
===Emails with Mary===<br />
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM'''<br><br />
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu'''<br><br />
'''Subject: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:<br />
<br />
-I will never hang notes on the wall again.<br><br />
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.<br><br />
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[Scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).<br><br />
<br />
Please reply via E-Mail.<br />
<br />
Christian C.<br />
</div><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|<br />
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh <mwalsh@pvcc.edu>'''<br><br />
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am'''<br><br />
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Christian:<br />
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.}}<br />
<br />
'''Email to [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]'''<br />
<br />
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time'''<br><br />
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''<br />
<br />
Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or Virginia), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).<br />
<br />
You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?<br />
<br />
As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".<br />
<br />
But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan Schroeder|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.<br />
<br />
You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable [''sic''] images uploaded onto my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*<br />
<br />
Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)<br />
<br />
Take care;<br />
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan. <br />
</div><br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==<br />
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]<br />
[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Chris is willing to pick up his markers and make hideous porn of people that he hates.]]<br />
<br />
Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris brooded and obsessed over his "HEART SHATTERING" defeat and began to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. As such, Walsh began to appear in a lot of Chris's works as a primary antagonist specifically opposing his [[Love Quest]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, in regards to a comic which isn't meant to be about him}}<br />
<br />
In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick. In an ingenious [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. Her sinister deeds are motivated by a [[Chris and Writing|totally unexplained]] hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only tactic is to send [[Jerkop|jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance (she needed Graduon's help for the later invasions). For no given reason, she considers Chris the most important target of her malign actions, and doesn't seem aware of the fact that true love occurs outside of CWCville as well.<br />
<br />
Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Upon her introduction, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, yet Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once "shattered" his heart and she is inexplicably frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh represent the dual miseries of his becoming an adult--the trauma of graduating from his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his disastrous collegiate career. To combat Walsh's powerful new accomplice, in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the original battle between a fat virgin and an old lady to an epic struggle between a horribly drawn Sonic OC and an old lady with a scepter.<br />
<br />
During her reign of terror, Walsh threatens the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In ''Sonichu'' #2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil, although Mary simply relocates to [[The High School Story|Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse, she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a [[Dark Mirror Hole]], but are only successful in ensnaring Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Mary seizes the opportunity and prepares to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Transformers|Decepticlones]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil is finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when Chris uses the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become [[Collosal Chris-Chan]]. He then destroys Graduon's scepter and easily overpowers her, but instead of killing her (like he killed 100+ innocent people in that very issue) he paralyzes her (seemingly permanently) and sends her to jail.<br />
<br />
A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is that she is to blame for almost everything that maligns Chris or CWCville, mirroring Chris's insane belief that the real-life Mary was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes. Even her conspirators are victims--virtually all of her Jerkops are simply brainwashed against their will, and even co-villain Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter. To labor the point even more, while Chris suggests that some of her followers have good in them and are capable of redemption, Mary herself is pure evil.<br />
<br />
<br />
===Renaming and retcons===<br />
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Hslaw Eel Ryam Hctib Hctiw deriah yerg eht liah lla]]<br />
<br />
As a result of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In an act of utmost subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became "'''Slaweel Ryam'''" or "'''Slaweel the Witch'''". A devious maneuver indeed – as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backwards, and there are letters missing. Nobody could possibly figure out the connection, unless of course they happened to see the notice posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page detailing the full extent of the name changes. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form, as that would require originality. The name is an evolution of "'''Hslaw Eel Yram'''", which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards; in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw it.<br />
<br />
In [[August 2009]], Chris put up a [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled "TwoMarys"] in which he tried graspingly to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Apparently, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This of course makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in ''Sonichu'' #0, where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris had essentially created a paradox within his universe, having made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but because of the retcon Slaweel hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's "sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years," but on the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys "TwoMarys" page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a cohesive plot.}}<br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==<br />
{{main|Soul Calibur}}<br />
<br />
It is unclear whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the daylights out of her. Chris creates himself and many other real-life friends and enemies in the [[video game]] ''Soul Calibur III'', so that he can take out his pent-up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. It should be noted that Chris appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest possible setting.<br />
<br />
==Possible reconciliation==<br />
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]<br />
<br />
Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began re-examining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on CWCipedia, to distinguish her from "Slaweel":<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys</ref>}}<br />
<br />
The article rambles on and drifts alarmingly far from reality, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research," detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.<br />
<br />
Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Christian_Says</ref><br />
<br />
In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, but Mary simply contacted his parents and told them to keep Chris off campus altogether.<br />
<br />
From this action, Chris inferred that Mary didn't care about him or their relationship, and Chris was crushed. Also crushed were any hopes of reconciliation, as after this incident Chris soon reverted to precisely the same deranged mindset as before, once again imagining her as somehow orchestrating everything bad that happened to him.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Grudge==<br />
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 29.jpg|thumb|right|Voodoo [[LEGO]] Mary. Chris shakes this container and holds it upside down to torment her.]]<br />
Chris's anger toward Mary Lee Walsh continues well over a decade since his [[Attraction Sign]] was torn down at [[PVCC]]. In a series of rambling [[Facebook]] postings made on 2 [[September 2013]], Chris began blaming various people for a temporary ban from [[Wal-Mart]], including Walsh:<br />
<br />
{{quote|If it had not been for [[Michael Snyder|Mr. "Manajerk"]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, [[The GAMe PLACe|Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys]], My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!...And that [[Women's Rights|bitch]], Mary Lee Walsh, with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my Sweetheart Search, AND Banning me from PVCC!!!|Chris, Facebook, 2 September 2013}}<br />
<br />
A few days later, when Chris was conclusively banned from Wal-Mart, he coined the term "Walshing," a verb that evidently means "not accepting autism as an excuse."<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" Manajerk...the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house...She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, Mary Lee Walshing, Witch Bitch!|Chris, Facebook, 6 September 2013}}<br />
<br />
On 17 [[December 2014]], [[Apology Letters|an apology letter]] that Chris had written to Walsh in [[August 2014]] was leaked. True to form, Chris blames everything on factors supposedly beyond his control, and tries to be condescending and play the victim at the same time. He specifically tries to appease Mary for depicting her in his comic as a witch, operating on the presumption that a university administrator is gravely concerned with the way she is presented in DeviantArt-level Sonic OC garbage drawn by a fat [[Tomgirl|tranny]].<br />
<br />
Upon Walsh's retirement, Chris stated that he has left his grudge behind and wished her a nice life, even claiming he didn't recall much about her. However, he immediately followed this up with a passive-aggressive critique of Walsh's conduct, showing he was still upset that she tore the [[Attraction sign|Attraction sign]]. He also wanted to know if Walsh had made any statement regarding his apology in 2009, claiming it was added back to his ˝pile of [[Stress|stresses]]˝.<br />
<br />
==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==<br />
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]<br />
<br />
In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, Chris being Chris, he would often neglect to draw her hair (and her fingers, and her feet, and her nose...) at all. In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by drawing Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon succubus who tempted Chris with her body (which he was sure to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been "Rule 34" fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), usually wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots. In the ''Sonichu'' animated series by SpazKid, she was depicted as being physically sexy but having unflattering sexual desires (such as shoving the staff containing Count Graduon up her [[China|china]] to shut him up, and demanding a recording of a minion shoving Chris's medallion up their butt) and speaking with a man's voice.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Gallery; mostly NSFW.<br />
|<gallery perrow=3><br />
Image:126473378631.JPG<br />
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Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg<br />
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg<br />
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:Cc5.jpg<br />
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg<br />
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png<br />
Image:Makeitup.png<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg<br />
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg<br />
Image:Mlw.png<br />
Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:MLWsis.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu34.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu342.png<br />
Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Curse those damn trolls by amazing toaster-d30xau7.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg<br />
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg<br />
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png<br />
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png<br />
Image:Mlw_avec_colour.PNG<br />
Image:Lost 2010 Fan Art.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}<br />
{{Fan art}} <br />
*[[Count Graduon]]<br />
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]<br />
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]<br />
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]<br />
*[[Attraction Sign]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]<br />
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)<br />
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Love quest}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Villains]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Mary_Lee_Walsh&diff=230980Mary Lee Walsh2019-05-30T18:02:21Z<p>Franco: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
{{Template:DeadLinks}}<br />
{{quote|You're not gonna get a [[Girlfriend]], this way or any way.|Mary, as quoted by Chris.<ref>[[Chris emails 2007]]</ref>}}<br />
{{Quote|Enough OLD [[Chris and anger|angst]] against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME...|Chris, lying, in November 2007.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]]. Chris draws her tits almost as big as his fans do.]]<br />
<br />
'''Mary Lee Walsh''' is a proto-[[troll]] and former dean of student affairs at PVCC. She maligned [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] in its early years by ripping up his [[Attraction Sign|Attraction Signs]] and eventually suspending him from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a whole year. She is one of the most important people in Chris's life, as she is one of the few people who refused to allow Chris to use his [[autism]] as an excuse for anything he wanted, and tried to make him act like a normal human being. This, of course, meant war.<br />
<br />
The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still arguably the supreme villain in the ''Sonichu'' series, a status that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life, and in ''Sonichu'' [[fan]] fiction. All hail the Dean!<br />
<br />
By early [[2009]], many years after the college suspension episode, Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh. He began with the [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam''', implying (and later stating outright) that the character was not related to the real Mary. For several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including sending a drawing to her house, but her only response was a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to [[Chris_and_remorse#Common_traits_of_a_CWC_apology|truly earn his forgiveness]].<br />
<br />
Chris' continued feud with Mary Lee Walsh is illustrative of his propensity to hold severe grudges over seemingly minor incidents. In late [[2013]], '''ten years''' after the August 2003 incident, Chris blamed Mary Lee Walsh in part for his continued decline in a series of [[Facebook]] ramblings, and referred to a [[Wal-Mart]] [[manajerk]] who banned him from the store as a "Mary Lee Walshing Witch Bitch".<br />
<br />
She has since slipped Chris' attention and in May 2019 she peacefully retired.<ref>[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:MLW_retirement.jpg]</ref><br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalshIRLnewsScreenCapture.JPG|thumb|left|Walsh during a TV interview.]]<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalsh-IRL.JPG|thumb|right|Contrary to how she is rendered in various media, Mary Lee Walsh is not very promiscuous in person.]]<br />
Walsh was the Dean of Student Affairs at PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20101015023113/http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html] (archived on 15 October 2010)</ref> She has also written a book<ref>http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Freshman-Experience-Creating-College-Success-Piedmont-Virginia-Community-College-by-Mary-L-Walsh-and-Mary-Lee-Walsh-2001-Paperback/2491824&tg=info</ref> about coping with college life, which perhaps unsurprisingly does not advocate attacking one's superiors with magical curses. Chris had first been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, but delivered the most crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[Attraction Sign]]; [[Chris and reality|according to Chris]], Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed ''at all''. However true this alleged statement may have been, there is virtually no chance Mary said it, as it would have been highly inappropriate and jeopardized her job.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that, judging by her e-mail exchanges with Chris, Walsh was anything but hostile towards Chris; quite the opposite, in fact - Versus Chris's version of events, Walsh was entirely reasonable in her conduct towards Chris and his attraction sign escapades.<br />
<br />
Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings to stop posting his signs and continued to place this ad for his "love quest" in the main campus building. Walsh, taking umbrage at this clear defiance of her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. What exactly transpired during the meeting is a source of much debate, as the only accounts made public are written by Chris and thus heavily biased. What is known is that during the meeting, [[Chris and reality|Chris pretended to converse out loud with Sonichu]] (relaying what Sonichu "said" to her). Then, after what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he verbally attacked her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|rage]], going so far as to hex her with the dreaded [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref> Chris was told in no uncertain terms that he couldn't continue his [[Love Quest]] on campus, prompting him to slander Walsh on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] and send her an attempt at an intimidating drawing.<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref> This little stunt got him banned from PVCC for a whole year, and forced to take [[Chris and anger|anger]] management classes and get psychiatric help before he was readmitted.<ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails#Chris got his degree for Cwcville|Jackie E-mails]]</ref> Any positive effects these may have are not evident.<br />
<br />
===In his own words===<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year-old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year-old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21-year-old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Niggos|Black]] impersonating [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!]]" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[JERKS|jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[Chris and religion|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}<br />
<br />
===Emails with Mary===<br />
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM'''<br><br />
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu'''<br><br />
'''Subject: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:<br />
<br />
-I will never hang notes on the wall again.<br><br />
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.<br><br />
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[Scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).<br><br />
<br />
Please reply via E-Mail.<br />
<br />
Christian C.<br />
</div><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|<br />
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh <mwalsh@pvcc.edu>'''<br><br />
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am'''<br><br />
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Christian:<br />
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.}}<br />
<br />
'''Email to [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]'''<br />
<br />
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time'''<br><br />
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''<br />
<br />
Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or Virginia), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).<br />
<br />
You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?<br />
<br />
As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".<br />
<br />
But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan Schroeder|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.<br />
<br />
You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable [''sic''] images uploaded onto my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*<br />
<br />
Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)<br />
<br />
Take care;<br />
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan. <br />
</div><br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==<br />
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]<br />
[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Chris is willing to pick up his markers and make hideous porn of people that he hates.]]<br />
<br />
Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris brooded and obsessed over his "HEART SHATTERING" defeat and began to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. As such, Walsh began to appear in a lot of Chris's works as a primary antagonist specifically opposing his [[Love Quest]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, in regards to a comic which isn't meant to be about him}}<br />
<br />
In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick. In an ingenious [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. Her sinister deeds are motivated by a [[Chris and Writing|totally unexplained]] hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only tactic is to send [[Jerkop|jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance (she needed Graduon's help for the later invasions). For no given reason, she considers Chris the most important target of her malign actions, and doesn't seem aware of the fact that true love occurs outside of CWCville as well.<br />
<br />
Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Upon her introduction, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, yet Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once "shattered" his heart and she is inexplicably frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh represent the dual miseries of his becoming an adult--the trauma of graduating from his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his disastrous collegiate career. To combat Walsh's powerful new accomplice, in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the original battle between a fat virgin and an old lady to an epic struggle between a horribly drawn Sonic OC and an old lady with a scepter.<br />
<br />
During her reign of terror, Walsh threatens the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In ''Sonichu'' #2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil, although Mary simply relocates to [[The High School Story|Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse, she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a [[Dark Mirror Hole]], but are only successful in ensnaring Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Mary seizes the opportunity and prepares to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Transformers|Decepticlones]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil is finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when Chris uses the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become [[Collosal Chris-Chan]]. He then destroys Graduon's scepter and easily overpowers her, but instead of killing her (like he killed 100+ innocent people in that very issue) he paralyzes her (seemingly permanently) and sends her to jail.<br />
<br />
A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is that she is to blame for almost everything that maligns Chris or CWCville, mirroring Chris's insane belief that the real-life Mary was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes. Even her conspirators are victims--virtually all of her Jerkops are simply brainwashed against their will, and even co-villain Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter. To labor the point even more, while Chris suggests that some of her followers have good in them and are capable of redemption, Mary herself is pure evil.<br />
<br />
<br />
===Renaming and retcons===<br />
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Hslaw Eel Ryam Hctib Hctiw deriah yerg eht liah lla]]<br />
<br />
As a result of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In an act of utmost subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became "'''Slaweel Ryam'''" or "'''Slaweel the Witch'''". A devious maneuver indeed – as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backwards, and there are letters missing. Nobody could possibly figure out the connection, unless of course they happened to see the notice posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page detailing the full extent of the name changes. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form, as that would require originality. The name is an evolution of "'''Hslaw Eel Yram'''", which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards; in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw it.<br />
<br />
In [[August 2009]], Chris put up a [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled "TwoMarys"] in which he tried graspingly to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Apparently, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This of course makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in ''Sonichu'' #0, where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris had essentially created a paradox within his universe, having made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but because of the retcon Slaweel hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's "sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years," but on the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys "TwoMarys" page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a cohesive plot.}}<br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==<br />
{{main|Soul Calibur}}<br />
<br />
It is unclear whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the daylights out of her. Chris creates himself and many other real-life friends and enemies in the [[video game]] ''Soul Calibur III'', so that he can take out his pent-up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. It should be noted that Chris appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest possible setting.<br />
<br />
==Possible reconciliation==<br />
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]<br />
<br />
Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began re-examining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on CWCipedia, to distinguish her from "Slaweel":<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys</ref>}}<br />
<br />
The article rambles on and drifts alarmingly far from reality, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research," detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.<br />
<br />
Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Christian_Says</ref><br />
<br />
In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, but Mary simply contacted his parents and told them to keep Chris off campus altogether.<br />
<br />
From this action, Chris inferred that Mary didn't care about him or their relationship, and Chris was crushed. Also crushed were any hopes of reconciliation, as after this incident Chris soon reverted to precisely the same deranged mindset as before, once again imagining her as somehow orchestrating everything bad that happened to him.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Grudge==<br />
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 29.jpg|thumb|right|Voodoo [[LEGO]] Mary. Chris shakes this container and holds it upside down to torment her.]]<br />
Chris's anger toward Mary Lee Walsh continues well over a decade since his [[Attraction Sign]] was torn down at [[PVCC]]. In a series of rambling [[Facebook]] postings made on 2 [[September 2013]], Chris began blaming various people for a temporary ban from [[Wal-Mart]], including Walsh:<br />
<br />
{{quote|If it had not been for [[Michael Snyder|Mr. "Manajerk"]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, [[The GAMe PLACe|Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys]], My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!...And that [[Women's Rights|bitch]], Mary Lee Walsh, with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my Sweetheart Search, AND Banning me from PVCC!!!|Chris, Facebook, 2 September 2013}}<br />
<br />
A few days later, when Chris was conclusively banned from Wal-Mart, he coined the term "Walshing," a verb that evidently means "not accepting autism as an excuse."<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" Manajerk...the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house...She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, Mary Lee Walshing, Witch Bitch!|Chris, Facebook, 6 September 2013}}<br />
<br />
On 17 [[December 2014]], [[Apology Letters|an apology letter]] that Chris had written to Walsh in [[August 2014]] was leaked. True to form, Chris blames everything on factors supposedly beyond his control, and tries to be condescending and play the victim at the same time. He specifically tries to appease Mary for depicting her in his comic as a witch, operating on the presumption that a university administrator is gravely concerned with the way she is presented in DeviantArt-level Sonic OC garbage drawn by a fat [[Tomgirl|tranny]]. <br />
<br />
==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==<br />
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]<br />
<br />
In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, Chris being Chris, he would often neglect to draw her hair (and her fingers, and her feet, and her nose...) at all. In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by drawing Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon succubus who tempted Chris with her body (which he was sure to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been "Rule 34" fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), usually wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots. In the ''Sonichu'' animated series by SpazKid, she was depicted as being physically sexy but having unflattering sexual desires (such as shoving the staff containing Count Graduon up her [[China|china]] to shut him up, and demanding a recording of a minion shoving Chris's medallion up their butt) and speaking with a man's voice.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Gallery; mostly NSFW.<br />
|<gallery perrow=3><br />
Image:126473378631.JPG<br />
Image:12670593995.JPG<br />
Image:127128115082.jpg<br />
Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg<br />
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg<br />
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:Cc5.jpg<br />
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg<br />
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png<br />
Image:Makeitup.png<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg<br />
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg<br />
Image:Mlw.png<br />
Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:MLWsis.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu34.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu342.png<br />
Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Curse those damn trolls by amazing toaster-d30xau7.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg<br />
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg<br />
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png<br />
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png<br />
Image:Mlw_avec_colour.PNG<br />
Image:Lost 2010 Fan Art.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}<br />
{{Fan art}} <br />
*[[Count Graduon]]<br />
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]<br />
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]<br />
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]<br />
*[[Attraction Sign]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]<br />
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)<br />
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Love quest}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Villains]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=File:MLW_retirement.jpg&diff=230979File:MLW retirement.jpg2019-05-30T17:43:39Z<p>Franco: Mary Lee Walsh's retirement celebration</p>
<hr />
<div>== Summary ==<br />
Mary Lee Walsh's retirement celebration</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Mary_Lee_Walsh&diff=230816Mary Lee Walsh2019-05-30T12:36:32Z<p>Franco: /* Mary Lee Walsh in real life */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
{{Template:DeadLinks}}<br />
{{quote|You're not gonna get a [[Girlfriend]], this way or any way.|Mary, as quoted by Chris.<ref>[[Chris emails 2007]]</ref>}}<br />
{{Quote|Enough OLD [[Chris and anger|angst]] against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME...|Chris, lying, in November 2007.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]]. Chris draws her tits almost as big as his fans do.]]<br />
<br />
'''Mary Lee Walsh''' is a proto-[[troll]] who maligned [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] in its early years by ripping up his [[Attraction Sign|Attraction Signs]] and eventually suspending him from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a whole year. She is one of the most important people in Chris's life, as she is one of the few people who refused to allow Chris to use his [[autism]] as an excuse for anything he wanted, and tried to make him act like a normal human being. This, of course, meant war.<br />
<br />
The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still arguably the supreme villain in the ''Sonichu'' series, a status that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life, and in ''Sonichu'' [[fan]] fiction. All hail the Dean!<br />
<br />
By early [[2009]], many years after the college suspension episode, Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh. He began with the [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam''', implying (and later stating outright) that the character was not related to the real Mary. For several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including sending a drawing to her house, but her only response was a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to [[Chris_and_remorse#Common_traits_of_a_CWC_apology|truly earn his forgiveness]].<br />
<br />
Chris' continued feud with Mary Lee Walsh is illustrative of his propensity to hold severe grudges over seemingly minor incidents. In late [[2013]], '''ten years''' after the August 2003 incident, Chris blamed Mary Lee Walsh in part for his continued decline in a series of [[Facebook]] ramblings, and referred to a [[Wal-Mart]] [[manajerk]] who banned him from the store as a "Mary Lee Walshing Witch Bitch".<br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalshIRLnewsScreenCapture.JPG|thumb|left|Walsh during a TV interview.]]<br />
[[Image:MaryLeeWalsh-IRL.JPG|thumb|right|Contrary to how she is rendered in various media, Mary Lee Walsh is not very promiscuous in person.]]<br />
Walsh was the Dean of Student Affairs at PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance.<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20101015023113/http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html] (archived on 15 October 2010)</ref> She has also written a book<ref>http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Freshman-Experience-Creating-College-Success-Piedmont-Virginia-Community-College-by-Mary-L-Walsh-and-Mary-Lee-Walsh-2001-Paperback/2491824&tg=info</ref> about coping with college life, which perhaps unsurprisingly does not advocate attacking one's superiors with magical curses. Chris had first been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, but delivered the most crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[Attraction Sign]]; [[Chris and reality|according to Chris]], Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed ''at all''. However true this alleged statement may have been, there is virtually no chance Mary said it, as it would have been highly inappropriate and jeopardized her job.<br />
<br />
It should be noted that, judging by her e-mail exchanges with Chris, Walsh was anything but hostile towards Chris; quite the opposite, in fact - Versus Chris's version of events, Walsh was entirely reasonable in her conduct towards Chris and his attraction sign escapades.<br />
<br />
Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings to stop posting his signs and continued to place this ad for his "love quest" in the main campus building. Walsh, taking umbrage at this clear defiance of her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. What exactly transpired during the meeting is a source of much debate, as the only accounts made public are written by Chris and thus heavily biased. What is known is that during the meeting, [[Chris and reality|Chris pretended to converse out loud with Sonichu]] (relaying what Sonichu "said" to her). Then, after what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he verbally attacked her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|rage]], going so far as to hex her with the dreaded [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref> Chris was told in no uncertain terms that he couldn't continue his [[Love Quest]] on campus, prompting him to slander Walsh on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]] and send her an attempt at an intimidating drawing.<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref> This little stunt got him banned from PVCC for a whole year, and forced to take [[Chris and anger|anger]] management classes and get psychiatric help before he was readmitted.<ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails#Chris got his degree for Cwcville|Jackie E-mails]]</ref> Any positive effects these may have are not evident.<br />
<br />
===In his own words===<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year-old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year-old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21-year-old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Niggos|Black]] impersonating [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!]]" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[JERKS|jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[Chris and religion|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}<br />
<br />
===Emails with Mary===<br />
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM'''<br><br />
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu'''<br><br />
'''Subject: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:<br />
<br />
-I will never hang notes on the wall again.<br><br />
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.<br><br />
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[Scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).<br><br />
<br />
Please reply via E-Mail.<br />
<br />
Christian C.<br />
</div><br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|<br />
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh <mwalsh@pvcc.edu>'''<br><br />
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am'''<br><br />
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''<br />
<br />
Christian:<br />
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.}}<br />
<br />
'''Email to [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]'''<br />
<br />
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF"><br />
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com'''<br><br />
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net'''<br><br />
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time'''<br><br />
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''<br />
<br />
Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or Virginia), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).<br />
<br />
You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?<br />
<br />
As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".<br />
<br />
But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan Schroeder|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.<br />
<br />
You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable [''sic''] images uploaded onto my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*<br />
<br />
Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)<br />
<br />
Take care;<br />
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan. <br />
</div><br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==<br />
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]<br />
[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Chris is willing to pick up his markers and make hideous porn of people that he hates.]]<br />
<br />
Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris brooded and obsessed over his "HEART SHATTERING" defeat and began to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. As such, Walsh began to appear in a lot of Chris's works as a primary antagonist specifically opposing his [[Love Quest]].<br />
<br />
{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, in regards to a comic which isn't meant to be about him}}<br />
<br />
In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick. In an ingenious [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. Her sinister deeds are motivated by a [[Chris and Writing|totally unexplained]] hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only tactic is to send [[Jerkop|jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance (she needed Graduon's help for the later invasions). For no given reason, she considers Chris the most important target of her malign actions, and doesn't seem aware of the fact that true love occurs outside of CWCville as well.<br />
<br />
Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Upon her introduction, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, yet Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once "shattered" his heart and she is inexplicably frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh represent the dual miseries of his becoming an adult--the trauma of graduating from his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his disastrous collegiate career. To combat Walsh's powerful new accomplice, in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the original battle between a fat virgin and an old lady to an epic struggle between a horribly drawn Sonic OC and an old lady with a scepter.<br />
<br />
During her reign of terror, Walsh threatens the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In ''Sonichu'' #2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil, although Mary simply relocates to [[The High School Story|Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations. In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse, she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a [[Dark Mirror Hole]], but are only successful in ensnaring Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], Mary seizes the opportunity and prepares to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Transformers|Decepticlones]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil is finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when Chris uses the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become [[Collosal Chris-Chan]]. He then destroys Graduon's scepter and easily overpowers her, but instead of killing her (like he killed 100+ innocent people in that very issue) he paralyzes her (seemingly permanently) and sends her to jail.<br />
<br />
A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is that she is to blame for almost everything that maligns Chris or CWCville, mirroring Chris's insane belief that the real-life Mary was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes. Even her conspirators are victims--virtually all of her Jerkops are simply brainwashed against their will, and even co-villain Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter. To labor the point even more, while Chris suggests that some of her followers have good in them and are capable of redemption, Mary herself is pure evil.<br />
<br />
<br />
===Renaming and retcons===<br />
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Hslaw Eel Ryam Hctib Hctiw deriah yerg eht liah lla]]<br />
<br />
As a result of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In an act of utmost subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became "'''Slaweel Ryam'''" or "'''Slaweel the Witch'''". A devious maneuver indeed – as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backwards, and there are letters missing. Nobody could possibly figure out the connection, unless of course they happened to see the notice posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page detailing the full extent of the name changes. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form, as that would require originality. The name is an evolution of "'''Hslaw Eel Yram'''", which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards; in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw it.<br />
<br />
In [[August 2009]], Chris put up a [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled "TwoMarys"] in which he tried graspingly to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Apparently, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This of course makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in ''Sonichu'' #0, where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris had essentially created a paradox within his universe, having made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but because of the retcon Slaweel hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's "sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years," but on the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys "TwoMarys" page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a cohesive plot.}}<br />
<br />
==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==<br />
{{main|Soul Calibur}}<br />
<br />
It is unclear whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the daylights out of her. Chris creates himself and many other real-life friends and enemies in the [[video game]] ''Soul Calibur III'', so that he can take out his pent-up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. It should be noted that Chris appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest possible setting.<br />
<br />
==Possible reconciliation==<br />
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]<br />
<br />
Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began re-examining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on CWCipedia, to distinguish her from "Slaweel":<br />
<br />
{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys</ref>}}<br />
<br />
The article rambles on and drifts alarmingly far from reality, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research," detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.<br />
<br />
Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Christian_Says</ref><br />
<br />
In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, but Mary simply contacted his parents and told them to keep Chris off campus altogether.<br />
<br />
From this action, Chris inferred that Mary didn't care about him or their relationship, and Chris was crushed. Also crushed were any hopes of reconciliation, as after this incident Chris soon reverted to precisely the same deranged mindset as before, once again imagining her as somehow orchestrating everything bad that happened to him.<br />
<br />
{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Grudge==<br />
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 29.jpg|thumb|right|Voodoo [[LEGO]] Mary. Chris shakes this container and holds it upside down to torment her.]]<br />
Chris's anger toward Mary Lee Walsh continues well over a decade since his [[Attraction Sign]] was torn down at [[PVCC]]. In a series of rambling [[Facebook]] postings made on 2 [[September 2013]], Chris began blaming various people for a temporary ban from [[Wal-Mart]], including Walsh:<br />
<br />
{{quote|If it had not been for [[Michael Snyder|Mr. "Manajerk"]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, [[The GAMe PLACe|Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys]], My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!...And that [[Women's Rights|bitch]], Mary Lee Walsh, with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my Sweetheart Search, AND Banning me from PVCC!!!|Chris, Facebook, 2 September 2013}}<br />
<br />
A few days later, when Chris was conclusively banned from Wal-Mart, he coined the term "Walshing," a verb that evidently means "not accepting autism as an excuse."<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" Manajerk...the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house...She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, Mary Lee Walshing, Witch Bitch!|Chris, Facebook, 6 September 2013}}<br />
<br />
On 17 [[December 2014]], [[Apology Letters|an apology letter]] that Chris had written to Walsh in [[August 2014]] was leaked. True to form, Chris blames everything on factors supposedly beyond his control, and tries to be condescending and play the victim at the same time. He specifically tries to appease Mary for depicting her in his comic as a witch, operating on the presumption that a university administrator is gravely concerned with the way she is presented in DeviantArt-level Sonic OC garbage drawn by a fat [[Tomgirl|tranny]]. <br />
<br />
==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==<br />
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]<br />
<br />
In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, Chris being Chris, he would often neglect to draw her hair (and her fingers, and her feet, and her nose...) at all. In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by drawing Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon succubus who tempted Chris with her body (which he was sure to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been "Rule 34" fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), usually wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots. In the ''Sonichu'' animated series by SpazKid, she was depicted as being physically sexy but having unflattering sexual desires (such as shoving the staff containing Count Graduon up her [[China|china]] to shut him up, and demanding a recording of a minion shoving Chris's medallion up their butt) and speaking with a man's voice.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
{{collapsible<br />
|Gallery; mostly NSFW.<br />
|<gallery perrow=3><br />
Image:126473378631.JPG<br />
Image:12670593995.JPG<br />
Image:127128115082.jpg<br />
Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg<br />
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg<br />
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG<br />
Image:Cc5.jpg<br />
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg<br />
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png<br />
Image:Makeitup.png<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG<br />
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg<br />
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg<br />
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg<br />
Image:Mlw.png<br />
Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:MLWsis.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu34.png<br />
Image:Mlwsonichu342.png<br />
Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Curse those damn trolls by amazing toaster-d30xau7.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg<br />
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg<br />
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg<br />
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png<br />
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png<br />
Image:Mlw_avec_colour.PNG<br />
Image:Lost 2010 Fan Art.jpg<br />
</gallery>}}<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}<br />
{{Fan art}} <br />
*[[Count Graduon]]<br />
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]<br />
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]<br />
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]<br />
*[[Attraction Sign]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]<br />
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)<br />
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]<br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Love quest}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}<br />
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br />
[[Category:Villains]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Bob_Chandler&diff=230492Bob Chandler2019-05-28T20:51:37Z<p>Franco: /* Biography */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{DeadLinks}}<br />
{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}<br />
<br />
{{infobox<br />
| title = Bob&nbsp;Chandler<br />
| image = [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|250px|center]]<br />
|header1 = Information<br />
|label1 = Name<br />
|data1 = Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.<br />
|label2 = Also known as<br />
|data2 = Bob<br>Bobby<br>Mr. C<br>[[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]]<br>[[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Gallop Crush]]<br>Robertchu<ref>[[Idea Guy#Sonichu genealogy for Chris, Bob and Ted Bundy]]</ref><br />
|label3 = Date of Birth<br />
|data3 = [[Pre-1980#1920s|4 September 1927]]<br />
|label4 = Date of Death<br />
|data4 = [[September 2011|6 September 2011]] (aged {{Age|1927|9|4|2011|9|6}})<br />
|label5 = Gender<br />
|data5 = Male<br />
|label6 = Nationality<br />
|data6 = [[United States|American]]<br />
|label7 = [[Chris and race|Race]]<br />
|data7 = White<br>Half-Sonichu<ref>Planted by [[Idea Guy#Sonichu genealogy for Chris, Bob and Ted Bundy|Idea Guy]], mentioned in [[Count Dankula]] interview</ref><br />
|label8 = [[Chris and religion|Religion]]<br />
|data8 = Protestant<br />
|label9 = Spouse<br />
|data9 = Patricia Faye Harley (1956–1980)<br>[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston]] (1980–2011)<br />
|label10 = Children<br />
|data10 = Dr. David Alan Chandler<br>Carol Suzanne Chandler<br>[[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br>[[Cole Smithey]] (stepson)<br />
|label11 = Grandchildren<br />
|data11 = [[Savannah Chandler]]<br />
|label12 = Father<br />
|data12 = Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906–1977)<br />
|label13 = Mother<br />
|data13 = Jean Holloman (1906–1945)<br />
|label14 = Education<br />
|data14 = Auburn University (engineering)<br />
|label15 = Occupations<br />
|data15 = Military communications<br>Engineer<br>Inventor<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]] – 6 September [[2011]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180110224343/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], the stepfather of [[Cole Smithey]], and husband of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he [[Bob Walks In|walked in]] on Chris [[mass debating]];<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> his nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack", came from this incident, no pun intended. <br />
<br />
Despite being estranged from his other children and despised by his stepson, Bob was widely viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]]. This was due to Bob being somewhat concerned with Chris's idiotic behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in Chris's pathetic life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising the selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb he at least made the effort.<br />
<br />
Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. Whether in person or over the phone Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone.<br />
<br />
Bob died of complications from heart failure on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref><br />
<br />
==Biography==<br />
Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]],<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in [[Wikipedia:Sylacauga, Alabama|Sylacauga, Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6</ref>), an Alabamian insurance agent, and Jean Holloman (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M</ref>-10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8</ref>), a Texan housewife.<ref>http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg (Mirror: [[:File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg]])</ref> Bob mentioned having a cousin and several [[Cherokee]] relatives in Oklahoma.<ref>[[Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself]]</ref><ref>[[Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler]]</ref> However, a distant relative disputed his Cherokee heritage,<ref>[[Chandler Family Tree#Ancestry.com content]]</ref> and his son's [[Cherokian Clan#Reality|DNA test results]] in 2018 belied any American Indian descent. It is common for white Southerners to make dubious claims to Cherokee ancestry, for a variety of historical reasons.<ref>[https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2015/10/cherokee-blood-why-do-so-many-americans-believe-they-have-cherokee-ancestry.html Slate article]</ref><br />
<br />
Bob has said that he was "interested in the world" around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign [[stamps]] as a child in the [[1930s]]: his first stamp was of [[wikipedia:Michael_I_of_Romania|Michael I of Romania]]. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> It is not clear how this collection fared in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]], but it was apparently not a total loss, as Chris offered to sell some of the albums to [[Catherine]]'s cousin Al in late 2014.<br />
<br />
===Service and education===<br />
<!--- Provide link to Classmates.com listing including Bobby Chandler and add as reference, if it can be found. ---><br />
A 1942 yearbook from Sylacauga High School lists a "Bobby Chandler" in the freshman class and glee club, suggesting that he graduated from this school in spring 1945 before matriculating at [[wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]] as an aeronautical engineering major that autumn. <br />
<br />
[[File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Bob served in Korea, and, thankfully for Chris, who believes that he was a sperm carried in one of his father's testicles during that time, he left before the Korean War broke out.]]<br />
<br />
Bob apparently had knowledge that the Army desired,<ref>(Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook [http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/4124/rec/14])</ref> was conscripted as a special draftee in 1946 and placed in the [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. Serving until 1948, he was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal: his service number was 44107856.<ref>[http://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?dt=893&mtch=11&tf=F&q=Chandler&bc=&sort=24996%20desc&rpp=10&pg=4&rid=8565331&rlst=5136538,4652469,8564216,1000879,987835,4549799,991002,8565331,5188385,8565346]</ref> Figuring he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college, [[wikipedia:Jacksonville State Teachers College|Jacksonville State Teachers College]], after leaving the military. He studied pre-engineering and joined the band there for two years before returning to Auburn University, where he studied electrical engineering and graduated in 1952.<ref>(page 269 of the 1952 yearbook)[http://content.lib.auburn.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/gloms/id/16173/rec/20] [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].</ref><ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref> While he was at Auburn, he was a member of Phi Mu Alpha, a social frat dedicated to men who are interested in music.<br />
<br />
===Career===<br />
[[File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg|thumb|200px|Article on Bob's 25th anniversary at General Electric.]]<br />
<br />
Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] as an engineer for 40 years. There, he designed a variety of electrical subsystems. He eventually went to work for General Electric in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" /><br />
<br />
With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon",<ref name="Barbara" /> ignoring the fact that the NES was designed and released in Japan in 1983, without influence from American electronics. <br />
<br />
{{quote|Bob Chandler is one of the most creative engineers in the organization.|The General Manager at G.E.<ref>[[:File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Examples of Bob's accomplishments include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref> <br />
<br />
When exactly Bob did retire is not known. During the 1980s, the standard age of retirement for men in America was 65, with many choosing to retire even sooner.<ref>[https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/publication/growing-older-america-health-and-retirement-study/chapter-2-work-and-retirement Growing Older in America: The Health and Retirement Study]</ref> Bob was born in 1927, meaning that he was most likely retired by the late 80s or early 90s. The ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' article about Chris's name change clearly says that Bob was retired at the time the article was publised (29 December [[1993]]).<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref><br />
<br />
Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic", although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" /><br />
<br />
===World consciousness===<br />
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob Chandler learning how to cut that Internet down ]]<br />
<br />
{{quote|I have been very interested in the world since I was 10 years old, and that was 70 years ago and, the, uh, I'm very fond of and I really truly believe in the United Nations, but you won't find anybody else in my countryside or around here, I think, that does. (laughing) But anyway, I'm very world conscious.|[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|Bob]]}}<br />
<br />
Politically, Bob was identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/> With that being said, in the time leading to the [[wikipedia:Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|Virginia gubernatorial election of 2009]], Bob had misgivings about [[wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]], the Republican candidate and eventual winner of the election. Bob and Chris considered the option of writing in Snoopy rather than voting for any of the candidates listed on the ballot.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref> <br />
<br />
In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> However, he rather damningly failed to question why Julie spoke perfect English with an American accent.<br />
<br />
==Relationships==<br />
<br />
===Previous family===<br />
<br />
Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia Harley on 25 September 1956. They had two children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]].<br />
<br />
Bob and Patricia separated on 28 June 1976 before divorcing on 28 January 1980.<ref name="BobObit" /><ref>[[:File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png]]</ref> Bob's relationships with David and Carol were strained in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Chris did not know he had a niece, via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>, and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more strained. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and last they heard she was working for the government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>[[:File:Savannah_chandler3.png]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Barbara===<br />
<br />
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]<br />
<br />
Bob and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]'s friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /><br />
<br />
They got married in 1980,<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> only months after Bob and Patricia had divorced.<ref>[[:File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg]]</ref><br />
<br />
According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Cole===<br />
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.<br />
<br />
Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops",<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though there isn't any proof that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/><br />
<br />
===Chris===<br />
<br />
{{see also|Bob's Letters to Chris}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Dreaming studio.png|thumb|Dreaming studio of Mr. C and Little C. Where dreams do come true - 1989.]]<br />
<br />
When Chris was a boy, Bob encouraged him to learn more about the world and tried sharing his interests and hobbies, including engineering, geography and [[Stamps|stamp collecting]].<br />
<br />
When Chris was seven, Bob converted a shed in the backyard of [[14 Branchland Court]] to a workshop where he and Chris could build things together, dubbing it the "dreaming studio". Chris could not recall what they had built together when asked about it in the years following Bob's death;<ref>[[IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> he and Barb had been using the space for hoard storage.<br />
<br />
Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography such as [[Julie|Europe]] and [[PandaHalo|Australia]], but he thought (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[television]], and only can associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" /><br />
<br />
Bob enjoyed collecting stamps as a boy growing up in the 1930s, and he continued to do so for several decades, with a focus on the United Nations and foreign countries,<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> building a collection of stamp albums which filled six boxes.<ref>[[I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it]]</ref> He taught Chris about his hobby, buying him a beginner's stamp album in 1992.<ref>[[eBay#Chris's stamp album]]</ref> Chris seemed to enjoy the hobby as well, since he had many pages of stamps filled in. In 2017, Chris began selling pieces of Bob's stamp collection to pay [[Financhu Crisis|bills]]. True to form, he priced Bob's valuable pieces at decent prices, generally for $5 per set, but tried to sell his personal stamp album for $1,000.<ref>[[eBay]] - see listings for their stamp collections.</ref> It was later revealed in Bob's [[Bob's Letters to Chris|written letters]] to Chris that he wanted Chris to learn about and treasure the heirlooms he left him, a request that fell on deaf ears.<br />
<br />
Bob's racist joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. <br />
<br />
Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:<br />
<br />
{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements, annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded).|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}<br />
<br />
However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. As seen during the lead up to the fateful encounter between [[Emily]], Chris and [[The Man in The Pickle Suit]], Bob seemed to be more than happy to discuss stories with people, even those he hadn't seen or heard that much of - [[Robert Simmons V]], who met Bob during his [[Church audio|visit to Chris's church]] conversed with him extensively, later saying that he was a 'really pleasant guy'. The antagonism to which Chris refers is likelier to be Bob attempting to constructively criticize Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.<br />
[[File:Bob drawing Nov. '15.jpg|thumb|200px|left|A drawing of Bob by Chris, released in [[November 2015]].]]<br />
<br />
An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, and seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris would still run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].<br />
<br />
Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the success that he has earned from his own Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to be the origin of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.<br />
<br />
[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|Bob and a younger Christian. Note Chris's "Family Bonding" shirt.]]<br />
Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that (not to mention what accomplishments he was referring to), or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank"><s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</s> (dead link as of Jul 2014)</ref><br />
<br />
He seemed never to get past the notion that Chris could and had achieved things, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiralling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.<br />
<br />
Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris doesn't take the presence or others for granted.<br />
<br />
In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the [[WTJU Marathon|1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon]], in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris publicly honored his father's memory since the latter's passing in [[September 2011]].<br />
<br />
Bob lives on his son's memory. Chris noted the occasion of his father's passing by attaching angel wings to the [[Lego]] minifigure representing him,<ref>Seen at 4:24 in [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]</ref> and displaying two photos of him in front of his TV.<ref>[[:File:Totem2ebay.jpeg]]</ref> He often visits Bob in his [[dreams]].<ref>[[March 2012 Facebook Posts#Still Feeling Lonely II|March 2012 Facebook Posts]]</ref><ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing|OkCupid Answers]]</ref><br />
<br />
Due to the influence of at least one of the three known [[Idea Guys]], Chris expressed beliefs that Bob is half-Sonichu and is apparently still alive in the [[CWCville]] dimension. These beliefs began around December 2017 and continued even after the Idea Guys had been removed from power, as shown by the below quote from 2018's Father's Day.<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|[[File:Father's Day 2018.jpg|200px|thumb]]<br />
<br />
<nowiki>#HappyFathersDay</nowiki> to each and every Father in This World and in Every Single Other Dimension Too! My father is alive again! I still love him, even in his checker-patterned glory! ⚡️💙❤️⚡️<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1008449921387778048</ref>}}<br />
<br />
==Later life, poor health and death==<br />
[[File:Bob playbill for musical push cart.jpg|thumb|200px|Playbill for Mr. C. and his musical push cart.]]<br />
<br />
Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to [[Trolls|total strangers]] on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" /><br />
<br />
Bob had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple bypass operations took place in August, 1980. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at [[Burger King]] daily.<ref>[[Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris]]</ref><ref>[[Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)]]</ref><br />
<br />
On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter|tweeted]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.<br />
<br />
[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]<br />
<br />
In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose [[Ego|when Chris was inclined to complain about it online]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies,<ref>[http://www.heart.org/idc/groups/heart-public/@wcm/@hcm/documents/downloadable/ucm_300315.pdf American Heart Association PDF "What Is Heart Failure?"]</ref> but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and [[Tour of Chris's House|lifestyle]] made this a very serious situation.<br />
<br />
Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. His silence on the subject of his father was probably because of [[Naive|genuine ignorance]] of the seriousness of his father's condition.<br />
<br />
A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."<ref>[[:File:Bobbetter.jpg]]</ref> Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well." Chris was, at least, half right.<br />
<br />
A breakdown of Bob's final months reads as follows.<br />
<br />
On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer of some description.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref><br />
<br />
On 23 April 2011, in an e-mail to Jackie, Chris revealed that Bob had received surgery for colon cancer.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_24]]</ref><br />
<br />
On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and, like Barb, vehemently disapproved of them.<br />
<br />
On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now deeply entrenched in his [[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirlish ways]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and was suffering from [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]]. <br />
<br />
In early September 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk. On the sixth of that month, he died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" /><br />
<br />
==Cause of death==<br />
Despite the fairly clear-cut nature of the lumberjack's passing, Chris has since declared that the [[trolls]] were responsible for Bob's death. In an [[Misc_E-mails|email]] leaked on 22 [[March 2014]], Chris claims that the stress of his trolling led to Bob's heart attack. This keeps in the trend Chris has developed of blaming any and all misfortunes (even those faced by everyone, like burying a family member) on trolls. <br />
{{quote|AND the total [[stress]] KILLED my Father Prematurely; if not for those Trolls, he would still be alive, and would have likely lived beyond 2015.|Chris.}}<br />
Even for Chris this is appalling behavior; using the '''death of his own father''' as a vehicle to play the victim and attempt to stave off trolls. While it's not uncommon for those who have lost loved ones to blame their deaths on external causes (however impossible or insane, as in this case) Chris's actions are motivated purely out of selfishness and egotism – business as usual.<br />
<br />
Years later, in 2017, Chris revised his claim and said that Bob was killed after hospital staff surprised him with a "Loud Noise".<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Claiming hospital staff killed Bob]]</ref> He went on to say that he had more freedom when Bob was alive.<br />
<br />
==Obituary==<br />
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:<br />
<br />
* Text going into [[autism|unusual detail]] about what Bob did at General Electric. <br />
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.<br />
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to [[Chris and money|donate money to Barbara and Chris]].<br />
<br />
With Chris taking part in writing the obituary, it's amazing that the writing stayed focus on Bob and did not once mention Sonichu or become about Chris.<br />
<br />
===Original text===<br />
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]<br />
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''<br />
<br />
:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''<br />
<br />
:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''<br />
<br />
:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''<br />
<br />
:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''<br />
<br />
:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''<br />
<br />
:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler.<ref name="BobObit" /><br />
<br />
==In memoriam==<br />
[[File:Chandler_Niche.jpg|thumb|left|Bob's final resting place.]]<br />
<br />
Bob is often seen as a gregarious, hard-working man ([[Ruckersville|all things considered]]). Trying ([[Destruction Of Chris's House|albeit without]] [[26 December 2014|success]]) to refine Chris into someone that could at least pass for a responsible adult, giving him mock job interviews and [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|chaperoning him on dates]], where he proved (unsurprisingly) more adept at charming the date than Chris.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, we have him to thank for some of his son's more [[Homos|backwards]] [[Niggos|worldviews]]. He was also supposedly an [[Cole Smithey|abusive stepfather]] (although Cole is not a reliable source); he certainly managed to alienate his other children enough that [[Carol Chandler|his daughter]] didn't attend his funeral, or keep in touch while he was alive. Much like his son Christian, little of what he said or believed had any connection to [[reality]], and he helped Chris to construct [[Matthew Noble call|bizarre]] [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]] to justify [[Chris and the law|trespassing and the like]], among [[Ego|other things]]. He, like Barbara, enabled Chris's crippling dependence on them, general immaturity and irresponsibility, and his myriad of other flaws. He never made any serious effort to improve his son for the better, even when he caught him [[Bob Walks In|masturbating]] in the kitchen. Nor did he make any real attempt to provide for Chris' future, beyond ensuring the tugboat. He left all his money to Barbara, who promptly wasted it all on [[Rob Bell|lawyer's fees]] - a conscientious parent would have anticipated this and put some of the money in a trust for Chris.<br />
<br />
Ultimately, while some like to remember Bob as a kind-hearted man who tried to improve his son, others see him as an old coot who is partially responsible for the man Chris is today.<br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Appearances==<br />
<br />
===In ''Sonichu''===<br />
{{quote|Christian, you are not a girl! Go put your pants back on.|Bob, ''Sonichu 12''}}<br />
<br />
[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb]]<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 8#Spring Break, 2008!|"Spring Break, 2008"]], a radio announcement from [[Jamsta Sonichu]] mentions that Bob founded [[CWCville]] in 1982, presumably after Chris's birth on [[Chris's birthday|24 February]] given that Bob named the city after his newborn son. Comic Bob presumably served as mayor before Chris took the office at an unknown date. At other points, Bob was mentioned in Chris's tangents about hating men other than himself and his father.<br />
<br />
{{Mayors of CWCville}}<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu_9#Episode_19|"Date Ed"]], there are two dolls for the class to practice talking to, girls received "Robert" dolls, while boys received "Barbara" dolls, an obvious reference/homage to Bob and Barb.<br />
<br />
Bob made his first official appearance in [[Sonichu 11]], photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Barb and various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].<br />
<br />
[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]<br />
<br />
[[File:Bob,Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|right]]<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 12]], Bob appears in a set of pages that combine an autobiographical account of Chris coming out as a [[tomgirl]] to his parents, and a tribute to his late father. He is depicted as an elderly man, as the page took place in 2010 (due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful). He attempts to dissuade Chris from continuing his tomgirl lifestyle, although Chris states that Bob later "told me he accepts and love [sic] me for who I am" shortly before his passing in 2011.<br />
<br />
Chris concludes Bob's appearance in the book with a photo in memoriam of his life, saying that he and Barb continue to miss him every day.<br />
<br />
[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Bob, pictured at right, as ''Gallop Crush'', in a [[MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]]. ]]<br />
<br />
In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying that they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9]]. The ponified Bob, known as "Gallop Crush", appears as [[Night Star]]'s father, reaffirming the self-insert nature of Chris's ponysona.<br />
<br />
===As a toy===<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:BobAmiibo.jpg|[[Amiibo]] Bob, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]]. Oh yes.<br />
File:ChrisFamilyEtsyC.jpg|Promo drawing<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
===Audio and video===<br />
<br />
In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).<br />
<br />
* [[1990]]: Bob appeared as the DJ to the [[WTJU Marathon]].<br />
* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the [[Chris in the media|Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].<br />
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].<br />
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].<br />
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].<br />
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].<br />
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.<br />
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the house tour, (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.<br />
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].<br />
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn Internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also is audible at the end of the call.<br />
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these.<br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
File:Bob1946Auburn.jpg|Bob's Auburn freshman yearbook photo, taken for the 1946 yearbook.<br />
File:BobJax1950.PNG|Bob's 1950 Jacksonville State Teachers College yearbook photo.<br />
File:Bobauburn1951.PNG|Bob's 1951 Auburn yearbook photo.<br />
File:Bobauburn1952.PNG|Bob's Auburn senior yearbook photo.<br />
File:1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license.png|1956 9 25 - Bob, Patricia marriage license<br />
File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png|1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png<br />
File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license<br />
File:Bob and his parents - 1930s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1930s census<br />
File:Bob and his parents - 1940s census.png|Bob and his parents - 1940s census<br />
File:Bob's birth certificate.png|Bob's birth certificate<br />
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents<br />
Image:Thehell.jpg|<br />
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2010.<br />
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.<br />
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg<br />
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|<br />
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].<br />
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|<br />
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|<br />
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|<br />
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|Bob used to enjoy gardening back in the day.<br />
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|<br />
Image:Bob_80th.jpg<br />
File:Robert Chandler, 19 June 2016 Facebook post photo.jpg|Last known photo.<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
==Fan tributes==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Bob<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}<br />
| Stardate = 10 September 2011<br />
| Maker = TheSevenRiders<br />
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''<br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}<br />
| Stardate = 11 September 2011<br />
| Maker = 8x13Wolf<br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = RIP Bob Chandler<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}<br />
| Stardate = 29 September 2011<br />
| Maker = furnacewoodsband <br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=80567090 Bob Chandler at Find a Grave]<br />
<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{Not_Jerks}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]<br />
[[Category:Dead]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Freestyle_Dance_With_Me,_For_Our_World&diff=230465Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World2019-05-28T13:28:50Z<p>Franco: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Honest}}<br />
'''Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World!''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 14 [[November 2017]], featuring him dancing to the 1995 Serbian patriotic song "Bog je Srbin i on će nas čuvati" ("God is a Serb and He Will Protect Us", known in Internet circles as REMOVE KEBAB) while yelling crap related to ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''. After making the video, he posted on Twitter, saying:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|Haters are going to hate. What I did in the dance video, I Did for Our Home World and for You All! You will thank me later when I am able to take out Bullies with my powerful friends. As well as my family and my Sonichus and Rosechus! Make up! ❤️⚡️}}<br />
<br />
It should be noted that the aforementioned song was written as a nationalist propaganda piece. Presumably Chris chose this song because it sounded like something one could dance to, or [[Autism|other reasons]]. Following this video, Chris made a [[Operation BARBarossa|substantial]] [[Cherokean Chant|amount]] of bizarre content similar in source material and Internet meme nature, whose origins are ascribed to a [[Idea Guy|then-anonymous Idea Guy]].<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World!<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qgWDcqmzkBw}}<br />
| stardate = 14 [[November 2017]]<br />
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Racism|text}}, {{Video games|text}}<br />
| style = {{Crazy|text}}<br />
| maker = <br />
| previous = [[Singing Sorry (Not Sorry)]]<br />
| next = [[December 2017 Paid Video Requests]]}}<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|For Our Home World and All other Dimensions, Realities and Worlds; All Of Us! Dance! Dance! Dance!!!}}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
Uh!<br />
<br />
People of the world! Christine Chandler coming to you from live from home! And the world is in need of your services as well as my own. Most direly. So dance with me if you will, to this lovely little polka. And put on a tinfoil hat to show that... THE MAN will not take over your MIIINNNDDDSSS! A beret [?] will also suffice as well. <br />
<br />
[''plays "Bog je Srbin i on će nas čuvati" and dances awkwardly'']<br />
<br />
DANCE FREELY! IN YOUR OWN WAY!<br />
<br />
[''[[Clover and Snoopy]] start baying in the background as the final line before the first chorus begins'']<br />
<br />
Even the dogs are singing!<br />
<br />
[''dogs are heard trying to get into the room'']<br />
<br />
[[Thriller|Moon walk]]! Do a twirl! Have fun!<br />
<br />
[''dogs bay again'']<br />
<br />
For the world! For [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|Gamindustri]]! For all the [[Chris and reality|other worlds and dimension]]s!<br />
<br />
[''dogs bay again after a bit'']<br />
<br />
[''song ends'']<br />
<br />
Go with it. FOR OUR WORLD!<br />
<br />
{{Troll Videos}}<br />
{{Music Videos}}<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Singing Sorry (Not Sorry)]]|nextlink=[[December 2017 Paid Video Requests]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2017]]<br />
[[Category:Music Videos]]<br />
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_death&diff=230398Chris and death2019-05-26T14:29:26Z<p>Franco: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|[[Chris]] on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace...?]]<br />
<br />
'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a [[Bob Chandler|human]] or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]]. <br />
<br />
His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy (a common symptom of [[autism]]), and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever", "just leaving", or in recent years, [[Dimensional Merge|"merged with their counterpart from C-197."]] Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.<br />
<br />
Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:<br />
<br />
==Deaths==<br />
<br />
===Various ancestors===<br />
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Passengers of ''[[wikipedia:RMS Titanic|RMS Titanic]]'' (d. 1912)===<br />
In 1912, famous passenger liner ''Titanic'' hit an iceberg on its maiden voyage from Southampton, England to New York, and resulted in the deaths of around 1,600 people. In [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]], Chris insensitively attempts to threaten [[Lars]] by destroying a [[Lego]] version of the Titanic.<br />
<br />
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===<br />
[[File:Memory-card-15-2.jpg|200px|thumb|A Memory Card noting the tragedy, next to the Dark Arbok Pokémon card Chris had purchased on that day.]]<br />
<br />
Chris has a very juvenile understanding of the [[wikipedia:September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001 terror attacks]] and their effect on world history. In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde Cash]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]], which were primary targets in the 9/11 attacks. He then pretends that the mouse cursor is crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. After heavy criticism for turning a tragedy which killed 3,000 people into a childish joke, Chris [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|apologized]] and insisted his patriotism. He also equated the death of [[Kacey]]'s grandmother, who is said to have died in the attacks, to his dead dog. For literally no reason at all, the date of the attack is included in a time-travel sequence in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].<br />
<br />
===Patti Chandler (1988–2006)===<br />
Patti was Chris's pet dog, who died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]], immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].<br />
<br />
To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Unsurprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates [[Ryan Cash]]'s death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of [[Matthew Devoria]]'s mother in the 9/11 attacks.<br />
<br />
Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the 1-year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.<br />
<br />
It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].<br />
<br />
===RocketFox's Dad (1966–2008)===<br />
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. Ryan's death and Chris's reaction cemented this.<br />
<br />
===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981–2008)===<br />
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.<br />
<br />
===Ryan Cash (1996–2008)===<br />
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of the ''Sonichu'' comics. After they were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.<br />
<br />
===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===<br />
Despite her being hundreds of kilometers away from the [[Brushfire Video|bushfires]], Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.<br />
<br />
Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.<br />
<br />
More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.<br />
<br />
===[[Sarah May]]===<br />
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.<br />
<br />
===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936–2009)===<br />
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.<br />
<br />
When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.<br />
<br />
===Clyde Cash (1976–2009)===<br />
In early [[2009]], Chris seemed to be aware that Clyde was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009|him]], just in case.<br />
<br />
===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958–2009)===<br />
In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of CWCville. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.<br />
<br />
In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."<br />
<br />
===[[Ivy]] (1992–2009)===<br />
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] as a memorial. Yes, a poorly-sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop-punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.<br />
<br />
Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.<br />
<br />
When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.<br />
<br />
===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===<br />
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo. <br />
<br />
{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}<br />
<br />
Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].<br />
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]<br />
<br />
===Mike Jackson (1969–2010)===<br />
<br />
Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.<br />
<br />
Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.<br />
<br />
Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.<br />
<br />
===Simonla Rosechu===<br />
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]<br />
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla Rosechu]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].<br />
<br />
Simonla's death apparently continued to haunt Chris long afterwards. This led to him [[Simonla Rosechu#Resurrection|reviving Simonla]] around [[May 2014]], more than four years after her demise. It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as [[Chris and reality|real]] to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.<br />
<br />
===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===<br />
In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.<br />
<br />
===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987–2010)===<br />
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on television for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.<br />
<br />
===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)===<br />
After a long battle with heart failure, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|Facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref><br />
<br />
In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.<br />
<br />
In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].<br />
<br />
===Victims of the November 2015 Paris terror attacks===<br />
In wake of the shootings and bombings in Paris on November 13, 2015, Chris [[Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris|responded on Facebook]] and expressed remorse in his own simple way, but equated the real-life atrocity which killed over 120 people with the actions of a "cartoon villain", suggesting he still has a poor grasp of the difference between reality and fantasy. Included was the image of Sonichu and Rosechu in front of the American flag in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].<br />
<br />
===Stan Lee (1922-2018)===<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
On 12 [[November 2018]], with the advent of the death of famed comic legend Stan Lee, Chris stated that he merged with his Universe C-197 counterpart.<br />
<br />
===Barbara Chandler (1941–20??)===<br />
Barbara, much like Bob before his death, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara was [[Obesity|obese]], and this contributes to her poor health, examples of which include oversleeping and bed sores. In [[August 2013]], Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which reveals that she suffers from far more serious health problems than initially thought. It may not be long before Barb keels over as well, which would ultimately leave Chris with no coddling matriarch to provide support for or keep him company, and in the grander scheme of things, without parents. <br />
<br />
Even today, where everyone's favorite manchild will go from there remains a mystery, especially since it was revealed in an [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Reality Comes Knocking|October 2013 Facebook post]] that Chris considers Barbara to be one of the few people who gives meaning and purpose to his life.<br />
<br />
In November 2015, Chris released [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]], where he addressed [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out".<br />
<br />
In June 2016, Chris released [[Donations Requested, Please.|two]] [[Donations Required, Serious Please help|videos]] in which he asks for donations for Barb's asthma medication; here, Barb appears somewhat unresponsive and barely conscious, and Chris says she likely won't make it "through the rest of this month". While Chris could just be exaggerating just to get more free money, one cannot deny that Barb's physical appearance is the worst it's ever been, so his prognosis just might be accurate. Regardless, Chris shows flagrant indifference to her imminent demise.<br />
<br />
===Chris himself (1982–20??)===<br />
Given Chris's notoriously [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Love Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.<br />
<br />
However, there is a likelihood that like Bob, who lived into his mid-eighties despite suffering from (and eventually passing away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and alcoholism, he may be genetically disposed to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it is the one thing that would put an end to the [[Love Quest]] once and for all. <br />
<br />
{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}<br />
<br />
In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving recurring visions of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a sweetheart. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his obsessive standards and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.<br />
<br />
In a Facebook post on 30 [[October 2013]], Chris stated that he had become so [[stress|stressed]] out (specifically, over [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|the revelation]] that his [[Manchester High School|high school]] [[gal pal|gal-pals]] did not actually like him much at all), that he had contemplated killing himself multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he did not go through with it are [[Barb|painfully]] [[Clover and Snoopy|obvious]]. This shows just how much Chris's [[Chris and psychology|mentality]] has drained, and how badly he needs the professional help he so stubbornly refuses to get. Of course, this could well be Chris exaggerating and trying to gain pity as he has done in the past, and as his mother allegedly also has (or at least, used to have) a habit of doing. In all seriousness, however, suicide is no laughing matter, and this should be looked at with caution.<br />
<br />
In late [[2014]], Chris actually came quite close to being hospitalized, as a serious infection had developed around a [[Un-clit|piercing on the bottom of his]] [[duck]] that he had received earlier in the year. Thankfully, though, Chris came to his senses and permanently removed the piercing, and had the infection treated.<br />
<br />
In the aftermath of the 2016 US Presidential election Chris made comments and videos containing death threats to Donald Trump where he repeatedly justified wishing for Trump's death by saying 'men die earlier than women'. It is possible he decided to 'transform' in to a woman because he believes he will live longer as a result.<br />
<br />
===Sonichu (2000–????)===<br />
One of the very few things that Chris seems to care about the death of besides himself is [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his pals. Since Chris believes all cartoon characters exist in some universe, and he had created Sonichu's, he feels that if he were to reboot the comics, that would mean that Sonichu and his friends would all die, and that they would all reincarnate into their newer rebooted versions, as hinted in a July 23, 2017 Twitter post.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/July_2017_Patreon_posts#Delay_on_pages.2C_no_plans_to_reboot_Sonichu</ref> Being his love and joy, the last thing on Chris' mind would be to kill his creations, but yet is perfectly fine with freezing them in time with his hiatus on the series. <br />
<br />
Ironically, even when Chris inevitably does pass on and go to meet [[Godbear]], he will still be remembered; not only for his life and the many humorous misadventures in it, but for his comics. Thus, it can be said that Sonichu will never truly die.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Autism]]<br />
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]<br />
*[[Death threats]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Dead]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_death&diff=230397Chris and death2019-05-26T14:28:43Z<p>Franco: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|[[Chris]] on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace...?]]<br />
<br />
'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a [[Bob Chandler|human]] or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]]. <br />
<br />
His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy (a common symptom of [[autism]]), and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever", "just leaving", or in recent years, [[Dimensional merge|"merged with their counterpart from C-197."]] Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.<br />
<br />
Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:<br />
<br />
==Deaths==<br />
<br />
===Various ancestors===<br />
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Passengers of ''[[wikipedia:RMS Titanic|RMS Titanic]]'' (d. 1912)===<br />
In 1912, famous passenger liner ''Titanic'' hit an iceberg on its maiden voyage from Southampton, England to New York, and resulted in the deaths of around 1,600 people. In [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]], Chris insensitively attempts to threaten [[Lars]] by destroying a [[Lego]] version of the Titanic.<br />
<br />
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===<br />
[[File:Memory-card-15-2.jpg|200px|thumb|A Memory Card noting the tragedy, next to the Dark Arbok Pokémon card Chris had purchased on that day.]]<br />
<br />
Chris has a very juvenile understanding of the [[wikipedia:September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001 terror attacks]] and their effect on world history. In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde Cash]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]], which were primary targets in the 9/11 attacks. He then pretends that the mouse cursor is crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. After heavy criticism for turning a tragedy which killed 3,000 people into a childish joke, Chris [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|apologized]] and insisted his patriotism. He also equated the death of [[Kacey]]'s grandmother, who is said to have died in the attacks, to his dead dog. For literally no reason at all, the date of the attack is included in a time-travel sequence in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].<br />
<br />
===Patti Chandler (1988–2006)===<br />
Patti was Chris's pet dog, who died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]], immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].<br />
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To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Unsurprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates [[Ryan Cash]]'s death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of [[Matthew Devoria]]'s mother in the 9/11 attacks.<br />
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Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the 1-year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.<br />
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It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].<br />
<br />
===RocketFox's Dad (1966–2008)===<br />
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. Ryan's death and Chris's reaction cemented this.<br />
<br />
===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981–2008)===<br />
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.<br />
<br />
===Ryan Cash (1996–2008)===<br />
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of the ''Sonichu'' comics. After they were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.<br />
<br />
===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===<br />
Despite her being hundreds of kilometers away from the [[Brushfire Video|bushfires]], Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.<br />
<br />
Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.<br />
<br />
More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.<br />
<br />
===[[Sarah May]]===<br />
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.<br />
<br />
===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936–2009)===<br />
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.<br />
<br />
When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.<br />
<br />
===Clyde Cash (1976–2009)===<br />
In early [[2009]], Chris seemed to be aware that Clyde was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009|him]], just in case.<br />
<br />
===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958–2009)===<br />
In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of CWCville. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.<br />
<br />
In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."<br />
<br />
===[[Ivy]] (1992–2009)===<br />
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] as a memorial. Yes, a poorly-sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop-punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.<br />
<br />
Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.<br />
<br />
When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.<br />
<br />
===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===<br />
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo. <br />
<br />
{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}<br />
<br />
Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].<br />
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]<br />
<br />
===Mike Jackson (1969–2010)===<br />
<br />
Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.<br />
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Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.<br />
<br />
Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.<br />
<br />
===Simonla Rosechu===<br />
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]<br />
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla Rosechu]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].<br />
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Simonla's death apparently continued to haunt Chris long afterwards. This led to him [[Simonla Rosechu#Resurrection|reviving Simonla]] around [[May 2014]], more than four years after her demise. It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as [[Chris and reality|real]] to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.<br />
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===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===<br />
In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.<br />
<br />
===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987–2010)===<br />
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on television for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.<br />
<br />
===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)===<br />
After a long battle with heart failure, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|Facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref><br />
<br />
In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.<br />
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In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].<br />
<br />
===Victims of the November 2015 Paris terror attacks===<br />
In wake of the shootings and bombings in Paris on November 13, 2015, Chris [[Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris|responded on Facebook]] and expressed remorse in his own simple way, but equated the real-life atrocity which killed over 120 people with the actions of a "cartoon villain", suggesting he still has a poor grasp of the difference between reality and fantasy. Included was the image of Sonichu and Rosechu in front of the American flag in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].<br />
<br />
===Stan Lee (1922-2018)===<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
On 12 [[November 2018]], with the advent of the death of famed comic legend Stan Lee, Chris stated that he merged with his Universe C-197 counterpart.<br />
<br />
===Barbara Chandler (1941–20??)===<br />
Barbara, much like Bob before his death, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara was [[Obesity|obese]], and this contributes to her poor health, examples of which include oversleeping and bed sores. In [[August 2013]], Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which reveals that she suffers from far more serious health problems than initially thought. It may not be long before Barb keels over as well, which would ultimately leave Chris with no coddling matriarch to provide support for or keep him company, and in the grander scheme of things, without parents. <br />
<br />
Even today, where everyone's favorite manchild will go from there remains a mystery, especially since it was revealed in an [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Reality Comes Knocking|October 2013 Facebook post]] that Chris considers Barbara to be one of the few people who gives meaning and purpose to his life.<br />
<br />
In November 2015, Chris released [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]], where he addressed [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out".<br />
<br />
In June 2016, Chris released [[Donations Requested, Please.|two]] [[Donations Required, Serious Please help|videos]] in which he asks for donations for Barb's asthma medication; here, Barb appears somewhat unresponsive and barely conscious, and Chris says she likely won't make it "through the rest of this month". While Chris could just be exaggerating just to get more free money, one cannot deny that Barb's physical appearance is the worst it's ever been, so his prognosis just might be accurate. Regardless, Chris shows flagrant indifference to her imminent demise.<br />
<br />
===Chris himself (1982–20??)===<br />
Given Chris's notoriously [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Love Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.<br />
<br />
However, there is a likelihood that like Bob, who lived into his mid-eighties despite suffering from (and eventually passing away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and alcoholism, he may be genetically disposed to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it is the one thing that would put an end to the [[Love Quest]] once and for all. <br />
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{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}<br />
<br />
In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving recurring visions of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a sweetheart. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his obsessive standards and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.<br />
<br />
In a Facebook post on 30 [[October 2013]], Chris stated that he had become so [[stress|stressed]] out (specifically, over [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|the revelation]] that his [[Manchester High School|high school]] [[gal pal|gal-pals]] did not actually like him much at all), that he had contemplated killing himself multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he did not go through with it are [[Barb|painfully]] [[Clover and Snoopy|obvious]]. This shows just how much Chris's [[Chris and psychology|mentality]] has drained, and how badly he needs the professional help he so stubbornly refuses to get. Of course, this could well be Chris exaggerating and trying to gain pity as he has done in the past, and as his mother allegedly also has (or at least, used to have) a habit of doing. In all seriousness, however, suicide is no laughing matter, and this should be looked at with caution.<br />
<br />
In late [[2014]], Chris actually came quite close to being hospitalized, as a serious infection had developed around a [[Un-clit|piercing on the bottom of his]] [[duck]] that he had received earlier in the year. Thankfully, though, Chris came to his senses and permanently removed the piercing, and had the infection treated.<br />
<br />
In the aftermath of the 2016 US Presidential election Chris made comments and videos containing death threats to Donald Trump where he repeatedly justified wishing for Trump's death by saying 'men die earlier than women'. It is possible he decided to 'transform' in to a woman because he believes he will live longer as a result.<br />
<br />
===Sonichu (2000–????)===<br />
One of the very few things that Chris seems to care about the death of besides himself is [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his pals. Since Chris believes all cartoon characters exist in some universe, and he had created Sonichu's, he feels that if he were to reboot the comics, that would mean that Sonichu and his friends would all die, and that they would all reincarnate into their newer rebooted versions, as hinted in a July 23, 2017 Twitter post.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/July_2017_Patreon_posts#Delay_on_pages.2C_no_plans_to_reboot_Sonichu</ref> Being his love and joy, the last thing on Chris' mind would be to kill his creations, but yet is perfectly fine with freezing them in time with his hiatus on the series. <br />
<br />
Ironically, even when Chris inevitably does pass on and go to meet [[Godbear]], he will still be remembered; not only for his life and the many humorous misadventures in it, but for his comics. Thus, it can be said that Sonichu will never truly die.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Autism]]<br />
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]<br />
*[[Death threats]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Dead]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=United_States_of_America&diff=230187United States of America2019-05-24T18:47:18Z<p>Franco: /* Politics */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Quote|"Hail thee, to the president, by gah ... her 'tis of thee..."<br><br />
Okay, [[Honor roll|I don't know the words]], but I am being patriotic here!|Chris<ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref>}}<br />
[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|Christian's primary thoughts on the USA.]]<br />
<br />
[[Chris]] is a citizen of the '''United States of America''', a federal constitutional republic in North America. The nation is considered the only remaining superpower since the end of the Cold War, and is a leading economic, political and cultural force in the world. The current president of the United States is [[Pmurt]].<br />
<br />
Chris's stance on the nation he lives in is inconsistent at best. While he claims to be a good citizen who loves and respects his country, his [[Twin Falling Towers|actions]] [[Calling Out|are]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|often]] [[Chris and the Law|very]] [[Monthly tugboat|obviously]] [[Pmurt|contrary]] to these claims. <br />
<br />
==Politics==<br />
{{main|Chris and politics}}<br />
[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|Christian's DEEPER thoughts on the USA.]]<br />
<br />
At a glance, Chris's sense of politics seems very inconsistent; on some issues, he takes a very [[Wikipedia:Conservatism in the United States|conservative]] stance, on others a very [[Wikipedia:Liberalism in the United States|liberal]] one. While many people have an independent or bipartisan opinion, one has to realize the true nature of Chris's decision-making: that Chris doesn't favor what's good for the working class, or America, or the world, but rather what's good for Chris. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates da [[homos]], and supported [[Barack Obama]] because he "saw himself in him".<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref><br />
<br />
Another political insight is the vague statement "I agree with gun control.",<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> despite Chris's numerous [[death threats]] and [[Sonichu Special 4|vigilante plans]] that would require a firearm. Soon after, he clarified that he supports abortion,<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> undoubtedly to show his appreciation for [[women's rights]].<br />
<br />
Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate."<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe]]</ref> While typically this simply means not having extreme or overly partisan political beliefs, he takes this as a general-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues ''every'' voter should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion'', though he did vote for [[Obama]] in 2008 and 2012.<br />
<br />
{{Quote|I disagree with more of the [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (US)|Republican]]'s views than the [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrats]]. As for [[Wikipedia:Iraq War troop surge of 2007|the troop surge]], I don't really care much for war, especially if it's [[Death threats|over some petty disagreement]], but regardless of the surge's success or failure, [[Chris and English|I feel at least half of the sent troops should not be pulled back to stand their ground]].|Chris, [[Mailbag 15#Everything in moderation|Mailbag 15]]}}<br />
<br />
Chris doesn't react well in situations where he absolutely has to make a choice ([[Julie]] or [[PSN]]?<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>), and seems easily persuaded on matters that he doesn't really have a stake on. As a result, he often comes across like a weathervane, just repeating whatever opinion has most recently lodged itself in his head. His frequently vacillating opinion about Obama is a good example of this; he first parroted what [[Bob|his father]] had told him about it, then he changed his mind because of a documentary, and then he reverted his opinion because of his father again. <br />
<br />
Chris's political stances became both more consistent and extreme at the outset of the [[Tomgirl Saga]]. This is likely a blend of his worldview changing with his new adopted gender identity and also the passing of Bob, leaving him with no omnipresent conservative voice to sway him. By the time of the 2016 presidential elections, Chris had become a vocal [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrat]]. He does remain largely self-serving in his outlook however, he now ardently supports LGBTQ initiatives but qualifies his commitment with his dislike of gay men (rendering his support disingenuous at best). His financial woes have also made politics related to welfare and state support a focus for him but he never forms thoughts on the subject beyond the vague belief that one party or the other is inherently good. Like many things with Chris, his outlook on politics is unbridled by civility or even common sense. In November 2016 Chris went so far as to openly call for the assassination of president-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], something even the most die-hard liberal politico would consider madness to say aloud.<br />
<br />
==Understanding of government==<br />
{{Main|Chris and politics}}<br />
<br />
[[File:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|thumb|What Christian's ideas actually amount to in [[Chris and reality|reality]].]]<br />
<br />
Chris's grasp of how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] as a whole, is very tenuous. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes. However, he still thinks of himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays [[Wikipedia:Sales taxes in the United States|sales taxes]] on the massive amount of crap he buys.<br />
<br />
{{Quote|[[Chris and money|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.]]|Chris, [[Honor roll|being wrong]].<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref>.}}<br />
<br />
It's highly unlikely that Chris understands the massive discrepancy between the amount the federal government pays him and the amount he gives back to the economy via sales tax. Chris also fails to understand that, in the USA, sales taxes are collected by state and local governments, while his Social Security Disability check comes from the federal government.<br />
<br />
Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the majority while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. Chris, however, would like it to be a totalitarianism and ideally to be the one running it, allowing him to enforce his deranged fantasies on the American populus:<br />
<br />
{{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris.<ref> [[Common Questions#28 December 2009]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
The facts that this would neither help the country in any way nor be even remotely possible to put into practice are not ones Chris considers important. Chris's reasoning is simply that since he wants a [[sweetheart]], ''everybody'' must want a sweetheart, and if everybody wants a sweetheart, the government needs to make it happen. Similarly, since he is uncomfortable with gays personally, every single gay person in the country must be forced into a heterosexual lifestyle.<br />
<br />
Over the years, Chris has proposed a large number of laws, even sending letters to President [[Barack Obama]] demanding legislation against [[trolls]] and [[homos]]. This is completely futile for myriad reasons, but two are most pressing: one, the President of the United States has much more pressing concerns than making an insane manchild in Ruckersville, VA, happy, and two, the US President ''can't make laws''. Separation of powers and checks and balances in government are concepts Chris has no time for — [[CWCville]], after all, is a hereditary dictatorship.<br />
<br />
Oddly, the closest analog for how Chris views his government is how Chris views his [[Chris and religion|religion]]. He treats both the U.S. government and [[God]] as things that can be completely ignored unless he has a personal problem, at which point they should immediately act as instruments of his will. He believes that both have a deeply vested interest in himself, often at the expense of everybody else.<br />
<br />
== Chris on patriotism ==<br />
As established, Chris has a very [[naïve]] view of American politics and how the federal government operates. Despite these setbacks, Chris has developed a unique brand of patriotism he brings up quite often, usually either in [[Father Call|defense of his character]] or dehumanization of his [[Trolls|enemies]]. As a result, these stabs at [[Wikipedia:Jingoism|jingoism]] often feel forced or out of place. Chris has utilized this tactic in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], with the iconic "Clarksville Address":<br />
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{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring [[Sweetheart]] and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|[[Sonichu]], on Chris's batshit insane claim that insulting him means you hate America.<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref>}}<br />
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[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris bastardizing the American flag with his [[The Classic|favorite shirt]].]]<br />
<br />
In the above statement, the central flaw in Chris's reasoning is displayed - the belief [[Song of Christian|his problems are analogous with the problems of every American]]. Therefore, if [[ED]] satirizes ''him'', they insult ''all'' U.S. citizens. This would become something of a recurring theme, with a later video claiming that any attack on Chris or [[CWCville|his fictional "utopia"]] was equivalent to mocking any 'C-ville' in America.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> On a shallower level, it's an obvious ploy for sympathy, a façade of reasonable nationalism that aims to make him the 'good guy', and by extension, [[Jason]] the 'bad guy'. Thus, patriotic symbolism is thrown in, without really even considering whether or not it makes sense in context. Chris is patriotic simply because he believes that's what will win him [[Scale of Respect|respect]] and reprieve. <br />
<br />
His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to [[Twin Falling Towers|mock national tragedies]] and his [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" end up having the opposite effect.<br />
<br />
However, his bumbling enthusiasm isn't reserved for the USA alone. Like many Americans, Chris has contrived of a highly dubious ancestry for himself, starting from [[Anne Boleyn]], a Queen of England who was executed in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1536]]. This was almost instantly proven false when her ultimate descendant Queen Elizabeth I, also known as [[Virgin with rage|"The Virgin Queen"]], died in 1603, childless. Then Chris tried in vain to co-opt British, Scottish, and Irish national sentiment in his kilt-clad tirade against [[Surfshack Tito]]<ref>[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]</ref> as a means of intimidation. Also, while not a standard country per se, he also evoked his relation to the Cherokee nation in his infamous [[War Paint Video]]. Finally, Chris attempts to use the fact that February 24 is Mexico's Flag Day to justify [[Christian Love Day|turning his own birthday into a holiday]]; an ''American'' holiday. Note that all of these cases, Chris's total ignorance of other nations means he fails spectacularly at representing them and appearing patriotic.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
==Chris for President?==<br />
[[File:Idealworld.jpg|thumb|Christian's [[CWCville|promised America]].]]<br />
<br />
In an [[October 2010]] video, Chris outlined what he would do if he were elected President. He declared he would [[Chris and money|cut taxes in half]], build "soup hotels", give [[Merried Seinor Comic|senior citizens]] increased funds for medications and special services, [[Sonichu Special 4|restrict guns to law enforcement personnel only]], [[homos|allow gay marriage]], and [[TrollBusters|form a special police force that focuses entirely on capturing Internet trolls.]]<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref><br />
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Aside from his failure to deliver a good speech, this video also showcases his complete and utter ignorance of how government and taxes work. Building luxury hotels for the homeless<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref> and increasing social security for [[Bob Chandler|senior citizens]] would cost a gigantic amount of money to do, yet he also proposes cutting taxes in half (again thinking that all tax is federally mandated), thus also reducing the amount of money the government can spend in half. Given that Chris probably has [[Honor roll|no knowledge of economics]], he likely assumes that money can be printed endlessly without fear of inflation.<br />
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Chris's restrictions of guns to professionals only is a blatant violation of the [[Wikipedia:Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|Second Amendment]], which explains the right of American citizens to own a wide array of weaponry can never be infringed. While there are certain restrictions on who can own a gun and what types, generally differing on the state level, a flat-out ban on weapons would be found unconstitutional. Then again, Chris isn't exactly big on [[Homos|respecting]] [[Asperchu|the]] [[Megan Schroeder|rights]] [[Mailbag 31|of]] [[Niggos|others.]]<br />
<br />
His departure from his previous stance on gay marriage is surprising, but then again, he was influenced by [[Jackie]] when he made the video. Despite his decree of equal rights, he does finish up his point by imploring [[Homos|gays]] to [[Sex tape|"keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody."]] Meanwhile, Chris can [[Fridays After Five|flaunt his depravity]] in public to his heart's content.<br />
<br />
While taxes, government spending, gay marriage and gun control are all big issues, Chris finishes up his video by proposing his most important change: the establishment of a special [[TrollBusters]] unit of [[Chris and the Law|law enforcement]], apparently dedicated to finding trolls who make fun of people online, and incarcerating them. While a cybercrimes unit already exists for the FBI, they spend their time pursuing actual criminals like [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and scam artists, not people who make fun of fat manbabies online.<br />
<br />
Chris was also asked in [[Mailbag 55]] to list the laws he would like to see put in place. As well as stating that he wants a ban on smoking, he also wishes for all men to wear a [[muscle bra]] and that all women who are currently in a relationship should be forced to wear a ring. Not only are such laws inane and draconian, the latter two would only help [[Chris and His Ego|Chris' ego]] and nobody else.<br />
<br />
Also, the fact that Chris is willing to suspend constitutional rights and spend countless theoretical millions to incarcerate people that make fun of him on the Internet is proof that Chris is neither a Republican or Democrat, capitalist or socialist, right-wing or left-wing, authoritarian or libertarian, liberal or conservative, communist or fascist, elitist or egalitarian, individualist or collectivist, religious or secular, extremist or moderate - or really any political stripe at all. His politics truly begin and end with him alone.<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]''<br />
*[[Chris and the Law]]<br />
*[[TrollBusters]]<br />
*[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]<br />
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]<br />
*[[Sonichu 8]]<br />
<br />
{{Places}}<br />
{{PoliticalVideos}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Places]] [[Category:Politics]]</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_hypocrisy&diff=229767Chris and hypocrisy2019-05-16T21:23:40Z<p>Franco: /* Finances */</p>
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<div>{{quote|You're all just immature, [[naïve]], condescending, soulless monsters. You don't care about others, you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life!|[[Chris]], describing himself.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}<br />
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[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost 30 years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]''.]]<br />
<br />
'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref> <br />
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Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards that he himself does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and self-examination due to his [[autism]] (but on a more self-inflicted level, his [[ego]]). Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male population]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkop|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Jerkop|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.<br />
<br />
He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change the world into one where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself. <br />
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Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.<br />
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==Examples==<br />
<br />
=== Maturity ===<br />
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!|Chris<ref>Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up". This was coming from a 27 year-old who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.<br />
<br />
Chris has not moved on past high school. In his 30s, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay and, like him, are rarely gainfully employed. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]" in reference to his much hated [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].<br />
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There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies. <br />
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In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.<br />
<br />
=== Work ===<br />
{{quote|I say move on; GET A JOB, DUDE.|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]<br />
<br />
Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].<br />
<br />
Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J.K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] . And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable. <br />
<br />
In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping his hands off women]].<br />
<br />
===Other people with mental disabilities ===<br />
{{quote|yeeeeeah... generally, I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional; it would be like looking through a window to hell to me.|Chris <ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>}}<br />
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While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or [[White knights|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[Ego|that's another story]]."<br />
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Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues who need to be in the [[Dating education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.<br />
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In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.<br />
<br />
Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.<br />
<br />
=== Tolerance ===<br />
{{quote|...obviously you have not opened your mind to all things in life, and your religion is a closed-minded one.|Chris, shortly after condemning homosexuality<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}<br />
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It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]] on a routine basis, and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Muscle bra|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.<br />
<br />
So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental. <br />
<br />
However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance. <br />
<br />
An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].<br />
<br />
In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...<br />
<br />
=== Homosexuality ===<br />
{{quote|While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page (the Wikipedia page on "effeminacy") is against us, due to it addressing the homos.|Chris<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Coming_out_to_my_parents]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.<br />
<br />
In his [[Date Ed#Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future|essay about]] his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea for [[dating education]], he claims that homosexual relations are "unnatural", [[Honor roll|despite over 300 species of animals]], including [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?|bonobos]], practicing it. Apparently there's only one species that practices homophobia. Go figure.<br />
<br />
In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.<br />
<br />
He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule. <br />
<br />
His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music that is also iconic with gay men, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]] and [[Britney Spears]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.<br />
<br />
In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.<br />
<br />
=== Chris's creations ===<br />
{{quote|Jack Thaddeus... is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic [[Asperchu]]|Chris, the TRUE AND HONEST creator of [[Sonichu]] complaining about fan fiction.<ref>[[Down with Asperchu]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.<br />
<br />
If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.<br />
<br />
Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' &mdash; he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.<br />
<br />
Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels &mdash; [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.<br />
<br />
=== Privacy ===<br />
{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.|Chris, encouraging people to troll his former friend. <ref>[[Facebook#Mimms]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.<br />
<br />
Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref> This could possibly stem from Chris being unfavorably featured on local news with a [[I Got A Fish|video]] of his.<br />
<br />
Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.<br />
<br />
Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even afterward, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."<br />
<br />
=== "He sets me on fire!" - Slander ===<br />
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]<br />
It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.<br />
<br />
The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.<br />
<br />
This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].<br />
<br />
Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.<br />
<br />
While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.<br />
<br />
==="Well-Informed to Expert in sex" - Women===<br />
Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:<br />
<br />
"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and money|squander]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].<br />
<br />
"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute. <br />
<br />
"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<br />
<br />
==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===<br />
<br />
Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.<br />
<br />
Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''<br />
<br />
Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.<br />
<br />
==="I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross" - Mature content===<br />
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]<br />
<br />
Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.<br />
<br />
Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.<br />
<br />
Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag 47#Children will be seeing furry porn in real life|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.<br />
<br />
=== Leaving the Internet forever ===<br />
{{quote|I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HOOKING UP ONLINE; IN-PERSON OR BUST FOR ME.|Chris<ref>Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010</ref>}}<br />
On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]]. <br />
<br />
On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.<br />
<br />
As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN.<br />
<br />
Although he did stop posting videos for a while after [[Bob]]'s death, he remained active online, most visibly posting to [[Facebook]]. That all changed, however, when Chris uploaded [[I Love You, Catherine|a surprise video]] in [[October 2014]].<br />
<br />
===Romantic rivalry===<br />
{{quote|...you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over? |Chris, trying to entice a woman to cheat on her boyfriend.<ref>Kacey Call 1</ref>}}<br />
One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.<br />
<br />
And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]<br />
<br />
==="I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways..." - Flamboyancy===<br />
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|Hear that, homos? Chris is offended by your flamboyance!]]<br />
<br />
When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals, saying that it's like homos are shoving their flamboyancy in your face. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.<br />
<br />
What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].<br />
<br />
==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===<br />
<br />
Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]<br />
<br />
After watching YouTube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]<br />
<br />
When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was dating a girl named [[Kathleen]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.<br />
<br />
Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word "banned" means, [[28 October 2011|he was to appear in front of a judge]].<br />
<br />
In the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.<br />
<br />
==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===<br />
<br />
In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://www.adfki.com/index.php?title=ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman he believed was Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that Adolf Hitler was not a communist and in fact [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]]. <br />
<br />
Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, with numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies. <br />
<br />
While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].<br />
<br />
==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity=== <br />
Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.<br />
<br />
And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat." He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people--during his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile," adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.<br />
<br />
==="Sonic's arms are NOT blue!!!" - Blue Arms===<br />
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|200px|"I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"]]<br />
In 2014, Chris began [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ''Sonic Boom'' due to the relatively minor change of making the famed hedgehog's arms blue instead of their usual fleshy color. Chris's hatred for this insignificant change is so passionate that he [[26 December 2014|actually got himself arrested for assaulting a GameStop employee]] after said employee tried to stop him from vandalizing ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise. However, Chris is guilty of exactly the same thing, because in his first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, he is depicted with blue arms. Furthermore, documents were leaked on 12 [[January 2015]], revealing that Chris actually has both ''Sonic Boom'' games--naturally, he felt the need to post a long tirade on his Facebook and claim Catherine sent him a copy.<br />
<br />
==="Worrying Mongoose Knows How You Feel!" - Memes===<br />
On 18 [[December 2014]], Chris posted a long tirade on why he hates trolls, as well as a section dedicated to his sheer anger after playing the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'', and his comparing of famous memes in the game to trolls. However, Chris is guilty of using memes, because [[January 2015|the next month]], he posted an image macro featuring Sunil the Mongoose from the 2012 ''Littlest Pet Shop'' series, detailing his feel of worry.<br />
<br />
==="Parodies in jest" - Maturity===<br />
In October 2016, Chris [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest|criticized]] Presidential Candidate [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], saying that he should have taken "[[Asperchu|a parody]] [[Liquid Chris|of himself]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|in jest]]."<br />
<br />
==="He is very spiteful" - Spite===<br />
In July 2016, Chris said that [[Pmurt]] "is very spiteful."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card]]</ref><br />
<br />
In November, upon Pmurt winning the US election, Chris reacted by making multiple [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|death threats]] and [[Feelings of the election results|prayers]].<br />
<br />
==="Womanizing and raping actions" - Sexual Misconduct===<br />
In November 2016, Chris called President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] a womanizer and a rapist, in reference to molestation allegations against him. Chris himself has molested [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Catherine|women]], and, unlike Trump, most of [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_is_fed_up|these incidents]] are [[Catherine#The_bowling_outing|well documented]]. Chris doesn't seem to grasp the concept that woman aren't in to being touched by him. While he bragged to Catherine that he's learned to respect women's personal space after the Megan fiasco, he disproved himself soon after by planting his face into her breasts. However, Chris still thinks Trump's sexual misconduct is enough justify his [[Death Threats|death prayers]] against the President-elect.<br />
<br />
===Don't end up "as a full-on Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" - Kindness===<br />
In January 2017, Chris typed out an [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Open letter to Barron Trump|open letter to Barron Trump]], in which he urges Barron not to become a "Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" like his father, President Trump. This came after two months of Chris [[Pmurt#Death Threats|constantly trying to organize prayers for the elder Trump's death]]. As for [[ego]], Chris spent much of the essay whining about how trolls affected his own life.<br />
<br />
===Finances===<br />
In May of 2019, Chris commented on an article about excessive spending of public funds by a former EPA chief, criticizing people for overspending. <br />
This was only a day after he went to court for debt, a consequence of [[Chris_and_money#Chris_and_impulse_spending|reckless spending on toys and video games.]]<br />
Chris also bemoaned inflation, blaming it on people getting "greedy for the green". <br />
Only three days prior, he sold a dirty old blanket on ebay for 200$, which is only a minor episode in his [[Financhu_Crisis|long history of e-begging]] to sustain the aforementioned habit of wasting funds on useless garbage.<br />
<br />
==Chris on hypocrisy==<br />
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[True and Loyal Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}<br />
<br />
In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.<br />
<br />
Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.<br />
<br />
His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].<br />
<br />
Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.<br />
<br />
Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[List of Chris's lies]]<br />
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]<br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_hypocrisy&diff=229746Chris and hypocrisy2019-05-16T18:31:43Z<p>Franco: /* Examples */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|You're all just immature, [[naïve]], condescending, soulless monsters. You don't care about others, you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life!|[[Chris]], describing himself.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost 30 years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]''.]]<br />
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'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref> <br />
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Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards that he himself does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and self-examination due to his [[autism]] (but on a more self-inflicted level, his [[ego]]). Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male population]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkop|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Jerkop|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.<br />
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He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change the world into one where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself. <br />
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Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.<br />
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==Examples==<br />
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=== Maturity ===<br />
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!|Chris<ref>Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC</ref>}}<br />
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In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up". This was coming from a 27 year-old who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.<br />
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Chris has not moved on past high school. In his 30s, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay and, like him, are rarely gainfully employed. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]" in reference to his much hated [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].<br />
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There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies. <br />
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In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.<br />
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=== Work ===<br />
{{quote|I say move on; GET A JOB, DUDE.|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]<br />
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Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].<br />
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Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J.K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] . And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable. <br />
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In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping his hands off women]].<br />
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===Other people with mental disabilities ===<br />
{{quote|yeeeeeah... generally, I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional; it would be like looking through a window to hell to me.|Chris <ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>}}<br />
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While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or [[White knights|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[Ego|that's another story]]."<br />
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Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues who need to be in the [[Dating education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.<br />
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In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.<br />
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Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.<br />
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=== Tolerance ===<br />
{{quote|...obviously you have not opened your mind to all things in life, and your religion is a closed-minded one.|Chris, shortly after condemning homosexuality<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}<br />
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It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]] on a routine basis, and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Muscle bra|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.<br />
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So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental. <br />
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However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance. <br />
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An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].<br />
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In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...<br />
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=== Homosexuality ===<br />
{{quote|While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page (the Wikipedia page on "effeminacy") is against us, due to it addressing the homos.|Chris<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Coming_out_to_my_parents]]</ref>}}<br />
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Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.<br />
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In his [[Date Ed#Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future|essay about]] his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea for [[dating education]], he claims that homosexual relations are "unnatural", [[Honor roll|despite over 300 species of animals]], including [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?|bonobos]], practicing it. Apparently there's only one species that practices homophobia. Go figure.<br />
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In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.<br />
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He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule. <br />
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His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music that is also iconic with gay men, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]] and [[Britney Spears]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.<br />
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In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.<br />
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=== Chris's creations ===<br />
{{quote|Jack Thaddeus... is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic [[Asperchu]]|Chris, the TRUE AND HONEST creator of [[Sonichu]] complaining about fan fiction.<ref>[[Down with Asperchu]]</ref>}}<br />
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Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.<br />
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If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.<br />
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Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' &mdash; he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.<br />
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Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels &mdash; [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.<br />
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=== Privacy ===<br />
{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.|Chris, encouraging people to troll his former friend. <ref>[[Facebook#Mimms]]</ref>}}<br />
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In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.<br />
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Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref> This could possibly stem from Chris being unfavorably featured on local news with a [[I Got A Fish|video]] of his.<br />
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Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.<br />
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Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even afterward, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."<br />
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=== "He sets me on fire!" - Slander ===<br />
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]<br />
It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.<br />
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The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.<br />
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This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].<br />
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Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.<br />
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While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.<br />
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==="Well-Informed to Expert in sex" - Women===<br />
Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:<br />
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"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and money|squander]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].<br />
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"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute. <br />
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"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<br />
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==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===<br />
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Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.<br />
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Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''<br />
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Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.<br />
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==="I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross" - Mature content===<br />
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]<br />
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Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.<br />
<br />
Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.<br />
<br />
Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag 47#Children will be seeing furry porn in real life|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.<br />
<br />
=== Leaving the Internet forever ===<br />
{{quote|I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HOOKING UP ONLINE; IN-PERSON OR BUST FOR ME.|Chris<ref>Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010</ref>}}<br />
On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]]. <br />
<br />
On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.<br />
<br />
As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN.<br />
<br />
Although he did stop posting videos for a while after [[Bob]]'s death, he remained active online, most visibly posting to [[Facebook]]. That all changed, however, when Chris uploaded [[I Love You, Catherine|a surprise video]] in [[October 2014]].<br />
<br />
===Romantic rivalry===<br />
{{quote|...you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over? |Chris, trying to entice a woman to cheat on her boyfriend.<ref>Kacey Call 1</ref>}}<br />
One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.<br />
<br />
And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]<br />
<br />
==="I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways..." - Flamboyancy===<br />
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|Hear that, homos? Chris is offended by your flamboyance!]]<br />
<br />
When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals, saying that it's like homos are shoving their flamboyancy in your face. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.<br />
<br />
What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].<br />
<br />
==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===<br />
<br />
Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]<br />
<br />
After watching YouTube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]<br />
<br />
When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was dating a girl named [[Kathleen]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.<br />
<br />
Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word "banned" means, [[28 October 2011|he was to appear in front of a judge]].<br />
<br />
In the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.<br />
<br />
==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===<br />
<br />
In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://www.adfki.com/index.php?title=ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman he believed was Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that Adolf Hitler was not a communist and in fact [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]]. <br />
<br />
Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, with numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies. <br />
<br />
While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].<br />
<br />
==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity=== <br />
Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.<br />
<br />
And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat." He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people--during his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile," adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.<br />
<br />
==="Sonic's arms are NOT blue!!!" - Blue Arms===<br />
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|200px|"I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"]]<br />
In 2014, Chris began [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ''Sonic Boom'' due to the relatively minor change of making the famed hedgehog's arms blue instead of their usual fleshy color. Chris's hatred for this insignificant change is so passionate that he [[26 December 2014|actually got himself arrested for assaulting a GameStop employee]] after said employee tried to stop him from vandalizing ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise. However, Chris is guilty of exactly the same thing, because in his first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, he is depicted with blue arms. Furthermore, documents were leaked on 12 [[January 2015]], revealing that Chris actually has both ''Sonic Boom'' games--naturally, he felt the need to post a long tirade on his Facebook and claim Catherine sent him a copy.<br />
<br />
==="Worrying Mongoose Knows How You Feel!" - Memes===<br />
On 18 [[December 2014]], Chris posted a long tirade on why he hates trolls, as well as a section dedicated to his sheer anger after playing the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'', and his comparing of famous memes in the game to trolls. However, Chris is guilty of using memes, because [[January 2015|the next month]], he posted an image macro featuring Sunil the Mongoose from the 2012 ''Littlest Pet Shop'' series, detailing his feel of worry.<br />
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==="Parodies in jest" - Maturity===<br />
In October 2016, Chris [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest|criticized]] Presidential Candidate [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], saying that he should have taken "[[Asperchu|a parody]] [[Liquid Chris|of himself]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|in jest]]."<br />
<br />
==="He is very spiteful" - Spite===<br />
In July 2016, Chris said that [[Pmurt]] "is very spiteful."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card]]</ref><br />
<br />
In November, upon Pmurt winning the US election, Chris reacted by making multiple [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|death threats]] and [[Feelings of the election results|prayers]].<br />
<br />
==="Womanizing and raping actions" - Sexual Misconduct===<br />
In November 2016, Chris called President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] a womanizer and a rapist, in reference to molestation allegations against him. Chris himself has molested [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Catherine|women]], and, unlike Trump, most of [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_is_fed_up|these incidents]] are [[Catherine#The_bowling_outing|well documented]]. Chris doesn't seem to grasp the concept that woman aren't in to being touched by him. While he bragged to Catherine that he's learned to respect women's personal space after the Megan fiasco, he disproved himself soon after by planting his face into her breasts. However, Chris still thinks Trump's sexual misconduct is enough justify his [[Death Threats|death prayers]] against the President-elect.<br />
<br />
===Don't end up "as a full-on Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" - Kindness===<br />
In January 2017, Chris typed out an [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Open letter to Barron Trump|open letter to Barron Trump]], in which he urges Barron not to become a "Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" like his father, President Trump. This came after two months of Chris [[Pmurt#Death Threats|constantly trying to organize prayers for the elder Trump's death]]. As for [[ego]], Chris spent much of the essay whining about how trolls affected his own life.<br />
<br />
===Finances===<br />
In May of 2019, Chris commented on an article about excessive spending of public funds by a former EPA chief, criticizing people for overspending. <br />
This was only a day after he went to court for debt, a consequence of [[Chris_and_money#Chris_and_impulse_spending|reckless spending on toys and video games.]]<br />
Chris also bemoaned inflation, blaming it on people getting "greedy for the green". <br />
Only three days prior, he sold a dirt old blanket on ebay for 200$, which is only a minor episode in his [[Financhu_Crisis|long history of e-begging]] to sustain the aforementioned habit of wasting funds on useless garbage.<br />
<br />
==Chris on hypocrisy==<br />
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[True and Loyal Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}<br />
<br />
In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.<br />
<br />
Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.<br />
<br />
His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].<br />
<br />
Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.<br />
<br />
Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[List of Chris's lies]]<br />
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]<br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_hypocrisy&diff=229744Chris and hypocrisy2019-05-16T18:15:51Z<p>Franco: /* Finances */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{quote|You're all just immature, [[naïve]], condescending, soulless monsters. You don't care about others, you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life!|[[Chris]], describing himself.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost 30 years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]''.]]<br />
<br />
'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref> <br />
<br />
Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards that he himself does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and self-examination due to his [[autism]] (but on a more self-inflicted level, his [[ego]]). Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male population]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkop|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Jerkop|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.<br />
<br />
He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change the world into one where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself. <br />
<br />
Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.<br />
<br />
==Examples==<br />
<br />
=== Maturity ===<br />
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!|Chris<ref>Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up". This was coming from a 27 year-old who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.<br />
<br />
Chris has not moved on past high school. In his 30s, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay and, like him, are rarely gainfully employed. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]" in reference to his much hated [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].<br />
<br />
There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies. <br />
<br />
In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.<br />
<br />
=== Work ===<br />
{{quote|I say move on; GET A JOB, DUDE.|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]<br />
<br />
Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].<br />
<br />
Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J.K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] . And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable. <br />
<br />
In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping his hands off women]].<br />
<br />
===Other people with mental disabilities ===<br />
{{quote|yeeeeeah... generally, I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional; it would be like looking through a window to hell to me.|Chris <ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or [[White knights|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[Ego|that's another story]]."<br />
<br />
Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues who need to be in the [[Dating education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.<br />
<br />
In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.<br />
<br />
Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.<br />
<br />
=== Tolerance ===<br />
{{quote|...obviously you have not opened your mind to all things in life, and your religion is a closed-minded one.|Chris, shortly after condemning homosexuality<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]] on a routine basis, and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Muscle bra|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.<br />
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So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental. <br />
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However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance. <br />
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An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].<br />
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In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...<br />
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=== Homosexuality ===<br />
{{quote|While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page (the Wikipedia page on "effeminacy") is against us, due to it addressing the homos.|Chris<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Coming_out_to_my_parents]]</ref>}}<br />
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Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.<br />
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In his [[Date Ed#Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future|essay about]] his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea for [[dating education]], he claims that homosexual relations are "unnatural", [[Honor roll|despite over 300 species of animals]], including [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?|bonobos]], practicing it. Apparently there's only one species that practices homophobia. Go figure.<br />
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In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.<br />
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He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule. <br />
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His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music that is also iconic with gay men, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]] and [[Britney Spears]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.<br />
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In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.<br />
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=== Chris's creations ===<br />
{{quote|Jack Thaddeus... is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic [[Asperchu]]|Chris, the TRUE AND HONEST creator of [[Sonichu]] complaining about fan fiction.<ref>[[Down with Asperchu]]</ref>}}<br />
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Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.<br />
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If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.<br />
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Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' &mdash; he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.<br />
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Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels &mdash; [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.<br />
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=== Privacy ===<br />
{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.|Chris, encouraging people to troll his former friend. <ref>[[Facebook#Mimms]]</ref>}}<br />
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In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.<br />
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Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref> This could possibly stem from Chris being unfavorably featured on local news with a [[I Got A Fish|video]] of his.<br />
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Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.<br />
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Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even afterward, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."<br />
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=== "He sets me on fire!" - Slander ===<br />
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]<br />
It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.<br />
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The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.<br />
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This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].<br />
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Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.<br />
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While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.<br />
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==="Well-Informed to Expert in sex" - Women===<br />
Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:<br />
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"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and money|squander]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].<br />
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"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute. <br />
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"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<br />
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==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===<br />
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Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.<br />
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Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''<br />
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Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.<br />
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==="I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross" - Mature content===<br />
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]<br />
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Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.<br />
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Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.<br />
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Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag 47#Children will be seeing furry porn in real life|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.<br />
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=== Leaving the Internet forever ===<br />
{{quote|I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HOOKING UP ONLINE; IN-PERSON OR BUST FOR ME.|Chris<ref>Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010</ref>}}<br />
On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]]. <br />
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On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.<br />
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As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN.<br />
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Although he did stop posting videos for a while after [[Bob]]'s death, he remained active online, most visibly posting to [[Facebook]]. That all changed, however, when Chris uploaded [[I Love You, Catherine|a surprise video]] in [[October 2014]].<br />
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===Romantic rivalry===<br />
{{quote|...you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over? |Chris, trying to entice a woman to cheat on her boyfriend.<ref>Kacey Call 1</ref>}}<br />
One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.<br />
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And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]<br />
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==="I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways..." - Flamboyancy===<br />
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|Hear that, homos? Chris is offended by your flamboyance!]]<br />
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When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals, saying that it's like homos are shoving their flamboyancy in your face. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.<br />
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What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].<br />
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==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===<br />
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Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]<br />
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After watching YouTube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]<br />
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When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was dating a girl named [[Kathleen]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.<br />
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Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word "banned" means, [[28 October 2011|he was to appear in front of a judge]].<br />
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In the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.<br />
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==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===<br />
<br />
In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://www.adfki.com/index.php?title=ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman he believed was Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that Adolf Hitler was not a communist and in fact [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]]. <br />
<br />
Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, with numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies. <br />
<br />
While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].<br />
<br />
==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity=== <br />
Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.<br />
<br />
And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat." He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people--during his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile," adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.<br />
<br />
==="Sonic's arms are NOT blue!!!" - Blue Arms===<br />
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|200px|"I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"]]<br />
In 2014, Chris began [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ''Sonic Boom'' due to the relatively minor change of making the famed hedgehog's arms blue instead of their usual fleshy color. Chris's hatred for this insignificant change is so passionate that he [[26 December 2014|actually got himself arrested for assaulting a GameStop employee]] after said employee tried to stop him from vandalizing ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise. However, Chris is guilty of exactly the same thing, because in his first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, he is depicted with blue arms. Furthermore, documents were leaked on 12 [[January 2015]], revealing that Chris actually has both ''Sonic Boom'' games--naturally, he felt the need to post a long tirade on his Facebook and claim Catherine sent him a copy.<br />
<br />
==="Worrying Mongoose Knows How You Feel!" - Memes===<br />
On 18 [[December 2014]], Chris posted a long tirade on why he hates trolls, as well as a section dedicated to his sheer anger after playing the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'', and his comparing of famous memes in the game to trolls. However, Chris is guilty of using memes, because [[January 2015|the next month]], he posted an image macro featuring Sunil the Mongoose from the 2012 ''Littlest Pet Shop'' series, detailing his feel of worry.<br />
<br />
==="Parodies in jest" - Maturity===<br />
In October 2016, Chris [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest|criticized]] Presidential Candidate [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], saying that he should have taken "[[Asperchu|a parody]] [[Liquid Chris|of himself]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|in jest]]."<br />
<br />
==="He is very spiteful" - Spite===<br />
In July 2016, Chris said that [[Pmurt]] "is very spiteful."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card]]</ref><br />
<br />
In November, upon Pmurt winning the US election, Chris reacted by making multiple [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|death threats]] and [[Feelings of the election results|prayers]].<br />
<br />
==="Womanizing and raping actions" - Sexual Misconduct===<br />
In November 2016, Chris called President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] a womanizer and a rapist, in reference to molestation allegations against him. Chris himself has molested [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Catherine|women]], and, unlike Trump, most of [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_is_fed_up|these incidents]] are [[Catherine#The_bowling_outing|well documented]]. Chris doesn't seem to grasp the concept that woman aren't in to being touched by him. While he bragged to Catherine that he's learned to respect women's personal space after the Megan fiasco, he disproved himself soon after by planting his face into her breasts. However, Chris still thinks Trump's sexual misconduct is enough justify his [[Death Threats|death prayers]] against the President-elect.<br />
<br />
===Don't end up "as a full-on Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" - Kindness===<br />
In January 2017, Chris typed out an [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Open letter to Barron Trump|open letter to Barron Trump]], in which he urges Barron not to become a "Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" like his father, President Trump. This came after two months of Chris [[Pmurt#Death Threats|constantly trying to organize prayers for the elder Trump's death]]. As for [[ego]], Chris spent much of the essay whining about how trolls affected his own life.<br />
<br />
===Finances===<br />
In May of 2019, Chris commented on an article about excessive spending of public funds by a former EPA chief, criticizing people for overspending. <br />
This was only a day after he went to court for debt, a consequence of reckless spending on toys and video games.<br />
Chris also bemoaned inflation, blaming it on people getting "greedy for the green". <br />
Only three days prior, he sold a dirt old blanket on ebay for 200$, which is only a minor episode in his long history of e-begging to sustain the aforementioned habit of wasting funds on useless garbage.<br />
<br />
==Chris on hypocrisy==<br />
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[True and Loyal Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}<br />
<br />
In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.<br />
<br />
Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.<br />
<br />
His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].<br />
<br />
Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.<br />
<br />
Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[List of Chris's lies]]<br />
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]<br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Francohttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_hypocrisy&diff=229743Chris and hypocrisy2019-05-16T18:14:32Z<p>Franco: /* Examples */</p>
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<div>{{quote|You're all just immature, [[naïve]], condescending, soulless monsters. You don't care about others, you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life!|[[Chris]], describing himself.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost 30 years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]''.]]<br />
<br />
'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref> <br />
<br />
Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards that he himself does not live up to. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and self-examination due to his [[autism]] (but on a more self-inflicted level, his [[ego]]). Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male population]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkop|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Jerkop|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.<br />
<br />
He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change the world into one where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself. <br />
<br />
Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.<br />
<br />
==Examples==<br />
<br />
=== Maturity ===<br />
{{quote|You're pitiful! Dang dirty trolls! So get it together! Move out of your basements!|Chris<ref>Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up". This was coming from a 27 year-old who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.<br />
<br />
Chris has not moved on past high school. In his 30s, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach. Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay and, like him, are rarely gainfully employed. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]" in reference to his much hated [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].<br />
<br />
There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies. <br />
<br />
In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.<br />
<br />
=== Work ===<br />
{{quote|I say move on; GET A JOB, DUDE.|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}<br />
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]<br />
<br />
Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].<br />
<br />
Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J.K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] . And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable. <br />
<br />
In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping his hands off women]].<br />
<br />
===Other people with mental disabilities ===<br />
{{quote|yeeeeeah... generally, I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional; it would be like looking through a window to hell to me.|Chris <ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or [[White knights|sympathy]] from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[Ego|that's another story]]."<br />
<br />
Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues who need to be in the [[Dating education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.<br />
<br />
In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.<br />
<br />
Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.<br />
<br />
=== Tolerance ===<br />
{{quote|...obviously you have not opened your mind to all things in life, and your religion is a closed-minded one.|Chris, shortly after condemning homosexuality<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]] on a routine basis, and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Muscle bra|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.<br />
<br />
So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental. <br />
<br />
However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance. <br />
<br />
An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].<br />
<br />
In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...<br />
<br />
=== Homosexuality ===<br />
{{quote|While effeminancy is true for us, I feel the contents of that page (the Wikipedia page on "effeminacy") is against us, due to it addressing the homos.|Chris<ref>[[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Coming_out_to_my_parents]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.<br />
<br />
In his [[Date Ed#Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future|essay about]] his utterly [[Slow-in-the-Minds|retarded]] idea for [[dating education]], he claims that homosexual relations are "unnatural", [[Honor roll|despite over 300 species of animals]], including [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Did I Forget to Tell You About the Bonobos?|bonobos]], practicing it. Apparently there's only one species that practices homophobia. Go figure.<br />
<br />
In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.<br />
<br />
He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule. <br />
<br />
His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music that is also iconic with gay men, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]] and [[Britney Spears]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.<br />
<br />
In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.<br />
<br />
=== Chris's creations ===<br />
{{quote|Jack Thaddeus... is wrongfully advertising his FAN FICTION, and I emphasize fan fiction, and parodic [[Asperchu]]|Chris, the TRUE AND HONEST creator of [[Sonichu]] complaining about fan fiction.<ref>[[Down with Asperchu]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.<br />
<br />
If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.<br />
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Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' &mdash; he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.<br />
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Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels &mdash; [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.<br />
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=== Privacy ===<br />
{{quote|Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.|Chris, encouraging people to troll his former friend. <ref>[[Facebook#Mimms]]</ref>}}<br />
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In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.<br />
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Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref> This could possibly stem from Chris being unfavorably featured on local news with a [[I Got A Fish|video]] of his.<br />
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Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.<br />
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Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even afterward, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."<br />
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=== "He sets me on fire!" - Slander ===<br />
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]<br />
It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.<br />
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The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.<br />
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This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].<br />
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Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.<br />
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While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.<br />
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==="Well-Informed to Expert in sex" - Women===<br />
Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:<br />
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"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and money|squander]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].<br />
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"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute. <br />
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"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<br />
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==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===<br />
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Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.<br />
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Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''<br />
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Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.<br />
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==="I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross" - Mature content===<br />
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]<br />
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Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.<br />
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Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.<br />
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Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag 47#Children will be seeing furry porn in real life|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.<br />
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=== Leaving the Internet forever ===<br />
{{quote|I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HOOKING UP ONLINE; IN-PERSON OR BUST FOR ME.|Chris<ref>Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010</ref>}}<br />
On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]]. <br />
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On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.<br />
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As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN.<br />
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Although he did stop posting videos for a while after [[Bob]]'s death, he remained active online, most visibly posting to [[Facebook]]. That all changed, however, when Chris uploaded [[I Love You, Catherine|a surprise video]] in [[October 2014]].<br />
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===Romantic rivalry===<br />
{{quote|...you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over? |Chris, trying to entice a woman to cheat on her boyfriend.<ref>Kacey Call 1</ref>}}<br />
One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.<br />
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And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]<br />
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==="I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways..." - Flamboyancy===<br />
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|Hear that, homos? Chris is offended by your flamboyance!]]<br />
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When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals, saying that it's like homos are shoving their flamboyancy in your face. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.<br />
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What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].<br />
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==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===<br />
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Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]<br />
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After watching YouTube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]<br />
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When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was dating a girl named [[Kathleen]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.<br />
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Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word "banned" means, [[28 October 2011|he was to appear in front of a judge]].<br />
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In the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.<br />
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==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===<br />
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In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://www.adfki.com/index.php?title=ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman he believed was Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that Adolf Hitler was not a communist and in fact [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]]. <br />
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Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, with numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies. <br />
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While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].<br />
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==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity=== <br />
Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.<br />
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And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat." He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people--during his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile," adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.<br />
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==="Sonic's arms are NOT blue!!!" - Blue Arms===<br />
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|200px|"I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"]]<br />
In 2014, Chris began [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ''Sonic Boom'' due to the relatively minor change of making the famed hedgehog's arms blue instead of their usual fleshy color. Chris's hatred for this insignificant change is so passionate that he [[26 December 2014|actually got himself arrested for assaulting a GameStop employee]] after said employee tried to stop him from vandalizing ''Sonic Boom'' merchandise. However, Chris is guilty of exactly the same thing, because in his first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, he is depicted with blue arms. Furthermore, documents were leaked on 12 [[January 2015]], revealing that Chris actually has both ''Sonic Boom'' games--naturally, he felt the need to post a long tirade on his Facebook and claim Catherine sent him a copy.<br />
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==="Worrying Mongoose Knows How You Feel!" - Memes===<br />
On 18 [[December 2014]], Chris posted a long tirade on why he hates trolls, as well as a section dedicated to his sheer anger after playing the infamous Nintendo eShop game ''Meme Run'', and his comparing of famous memes in the game to trolls. However, Chris is guilty of using memes, because [[January 2015|the next month]], he posted an image macro featuring Sunil the Mongoose from the 2012 ''Littlest Pet Shop'' series, detailing his feel of worry.<br />
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==="Parodies in jest" - Maturity===<br />
In October 2016, Chris [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should take parodies in jest|criticized]] Presidential Candidate [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], saying that he should have taken "[[Asperchu|a parody]] [[Liquid Chris|of himself]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|in jest]]."<br />
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==="He is very spiteful" - Spite===<br />
In July 2016, Chris said that [[Pmurt]] "is very spiteful."<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card]]</ref><br />
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In November, upon Pmurt winning the US election, Chris reacted by making multiple [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|death threats]] and [[Feelings of the election results|prayers]].<br />
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==="Womanizing and raping actions" - Sexual Misconduct===<br />
In November 2016, Chris called President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] a womanizer and a rapist, in reference to molestation allegations against him. Chris himself has molested [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Catherine|women]], and, unlike Trump, most of [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_is_fed_up|these incidents]] are [[Catherine#The_bowling_outing|well documented]]. Chris doesn't seem to grasp the concept that woman aren't in to being touched by him. While he bragged to Catherine that he's learned to respect women's personal space after the Megan fiasco, he disproved himself soon after by planting his face into her breasts. However, Chris still thinks Trump's sexual misconduct is enough justify his [[Death Threats|death prayers]] against the President-elect.<br />
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===Don't end up "as a full-on Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" - Kindness===<br />
In January 2017, Chris typed out an [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Open letter to Barron Trump|open letter to Barron Trump]], in which he urges Barron not to become a "Super Stereotypical, Spiteful and Egotistical Male" like his father, President Trump. This came after two months of Chris [[Pmurt#Death Threats|constantly trying to organize prayers for the elder Trump's death]]. As for [[ego]], Chris spent much of the essay whining about how trolls affected his own life.<br />
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===Finances===<br />
In May of 2019, Chris commented on an article about excessive spending of public funds by a former EPA chief, criticizing people for overspending. <br />
This was only a day after he went to court for debt, a consequence of reckless spending on toys and video games.<br />
Chris also bemoaned inflation, blameing it on people getting "greedy for the green". <br />
Only three days prior, he sold a dirt old blanket on ebay for 200$, which is only a minor episode in his long history of e-begging to sustain the aforementioned habit of wasting funds on useless garbage.<br />
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==Chris on hypocrisy==<br />
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[True and Loyal Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}<br />
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In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.<br />
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Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.<br />
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His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].<br />
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Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.<br />
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Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.<br />
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==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
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==See also==<br />
* [[List of Chris's lies]]<br />
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]<br />
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{{Chris and}}</div>Franco